#but fall means winter is coming :)
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#kirby#plants#daily kirby#my art#digital#hal laboratory#nintendo#I mean honestly truly I am a winter girlie (gender neutral) through and through#but fall means winter is coming :)#(summer is my enemy. I hate the sun. I hate being warm. I hate 16 hours of flippin daylight. it's all bad for me.)#also something about the phrase 'unrestrained summer fun' is really speaking to me lately#especially when paired with very mild activities (as above) or like. other people actively trying to stop the actor in question.
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#hey like. not to be really annoying i shouldn't be doing this aged 32 but i'm really struggling#every time the weather gets cold i feel like i am entering winter with more and more despair#i am really struggling this time#every day is a struggle to get through#i'm losing my hair#i'm losing my reasons to live#i keep putting on a full face of makeup and clothes in my room at like 2am just to desperately try to feel human#i keep saying i don't know if I'll survive the winter and people keep laughing but I don't mean it as a joke#i'm sadder than i've ever been and everything feels like it's falling apart#whenever i get the chance to confide this in people i get told that i'm strong and i'm a survivor#and that i should do some shit to make me happy#and yea i can stave it all off for a few minutes with like a trip out or some makeup or something but it all feels like bandaids#for a serious wound that's going to go septic soon#like this isn't a way to live a life#i don't want to 'be strong' or a 'survivor' anymore i want to be fucking happy#i'm tired and promises of brief happiness between ever worsening pain feel almost patronizing at this point#i woke up the other day in the middle of the night and as soon as conscious thoughts hit my brain i almost doubled over#if i had been not on the first floor i think i might have jumped then and there#i want to be loved and feel like my love is worth something#i want a clean apartment of my own and a career that doesn't feel like it's designed to kill me#i'm 32 and still essentially feel like i'm living my life like a teenager#i want sun and suncatchers and healthy plants and a wardrobe that fits my clothes#and i want the will to actually get up in the morning#i endured all of this for so long on a delusional belief that things were going to magically get better#but i realize now they won't#i became aware of the bounds of my cage with no means of escaping them#i'm sick of living each day oscillating between numbness and grief i can barely eat i can barely work i can barely laugh#and no one's coming to save me#i'm agonized by the idea that this is maybe what life always is for everybody#is this how it's supposed to be
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thinking about them and banging my head against the wall again whats new. they are making me so emo. god. what the fuck
#ann plays fates#theyre like all i can think about rn#its that time of the year#i mean i think about them both constantly separately but its always when september comes#do i get hit with the laslow/nyx rarepair brainrot i think#that just lasts through fall and winter#not that im complaining. i think eventually i will have posted the entire fucking conversation#i cant help it. each part gives me a segment of dialogue to be ill about#i have ‘but with burdens so heavy dont you think we can lean on eachother a bit?’ on my wall#ROMANCE. TO ME (girl who is aroace)#also underrated thing about them i like how nyx flirts back#its more prevalent in their A support but shes so fun with him even beyond the bonding over traumatic pasts#i think with laslow he does a lot of flirting right bc hes laslow but a lot of the time its like#no ones matching his energy#i was gonna say match his freak but i dont think he has any freak if im so real with u#if he does its buried beneath five metric tons of shame and embarrassment#and i like how his… laslow-ness kinda gives nyx space to let loose if that makes sense#like he can match her maturity because he. you know. all of that#but hes still young and so she can find a little bit of reprieve from it all in his attitude and blah blah blah#if that makes sense#they r just so perfect. TO ME#ive only ever written and posted one thing for them but i have like five million (like six) things in my drafts i need to get back#into writing. rarepair hell gotta feed myself#also that was like two years ago it kinda sucks a bit but thats fine its called growth#i just miss them. i dont really have the brainpower to play fates but i have enough to think about them#i mean i played a little but ive mostly just been doing dumb shit with the class system and not rly playing the game#we’ll get to it#im supposed to be sleeping
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Would it be pure irrational delusion to hope that the thunderbolts trailer leak has awoken your bishova mind and will spur you on to possibly update “living is a gamble” 😁😁
I mean I’m hoping it will!! I literally haven’t written anything in over a year, so who knows. But if it is delusional, at least I’m right there in the delulu with you bud! 🤞🤞🤞
#last fall/winter was just exceptionally rough#but i have been working on music the past month or so#and i’m hoping that means the creative energy is coming back#we shall see but i’m hoping!#hey nonny nonny
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💙❤️Capitanes💙❤️
3/3... and up next the last before the dreaded International break...🫠 *Prayer circle for the protection of our players especially Pedri*
Anyhoo..
Bon Cap de setmana i d'Agost! 🤗🙂↔️💕
Bring on autumn🍁🍂🍃🍂🍁
#fall is coming#which means... winter is coming#🍁#🍂#🍃#💙❤️#🙂↔️#🤗#🫠#✨💕✨#✨🥰✨#✨them✨#🤳🏻#selfie 🤳#selfie fc#selfie friday#me#mine#Spotify
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the obsession max verstappen has for tomato soup needs to studied
#i mean he’s not wrong for it#tomato soup is goated#BUT ALL YEAR ROUND?#bestie boo come on soup is a fall/winter food#max verstappen#red bull racing#formula 1#f1#maxy baby tag
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i finally figured it out, stardew valley is a winter game. elden ring is an autumn game, the sims is a summer game, and genshin impact is a spring game. fortnite is universal
#me before saying something nobody was ever thinking about: i figured it out#no but fr regular sports have seasons? i feel like big open world games do too for me#or like the ones i get rly sucked into#bc i usually will get sucked into a game for a period of a few weeks to a few months#i feel this way abt some tv shows too like thats why the new big brother seasons going into fall is throwing me off#like thats a summer show!!!!#we dont rly have a very long fall here and barely a winter but i do like separating things like that#it gives me a sense of time#and the audhd means i love a routine but i change them every few weeks#i love a microroutine#but some games are huge and i come back to them often
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I'm just a girl standing in front of the Elena of Avalor S3 timeline begging for it to make even a little logical sense.
#elena of avalor#honestly the only way it does is if we assume that the various avaloran holidays take place in radically different months#than their real-world counterparts#like if we assume that carnaval matches its real world equivalent#"the magic within' takes place in feb-march#but the very next episode is the final dias de los muertos one#which by real world standards is beginning of november#so you're telling me that after the massive fallout of carnaval; absolutely nothing happened for like 7-10 months(!)#and then pretty much all of the next few important episodes happen b/w Nov and Dec (assuming hannukah is also at its real world time)#so like elena spends an intense period of like 1-2 months being just completely fixated on esteban#(i mean girl; same but come on)#after having spent like nearly a year forgetting he even exists?#and then has her nice little winter holiday break#and forgets about him for a month or two in between#only to just suddenly without much logical reason just become obsessed w/ him and ash again for an ep or two#and then forgets about him again#because the plot demands it#i mean like tbf all the flores cousins read to me as neurodivergent to some degree#so i guess it makes a little sense that she'd fall in and out of hyperfocus and get distracted by other fun things#but like i feel like the situation is a bit more intense/important/demanding than just a regular special interest waxing and waning a bit#i mean the real answer is that at least some of the filler episodes were aired waaaayyy out of order#maybe we're meant to see carnaval as not actual carnaval time? but like a big random party in like july or aug??#so like elena still ignores the plot for way too long but at least its like less than 6 months and not more#and it is making plotting s3 era fic very very hard#since it's very tricky to find the right spot to set things
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This issue ends pretty abruptly too, after clearing this zone of Eggman and freeing little animals/getting an Ancient Gear, Sonic and the gang just go on their merry way to the next one. End scene.
Obviously, Sonic: Mega Drive was planned to be a trilogy of issues, this one letting the next adventure continue to joyride. Frighteningly similar to how Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode I and II came out, this glorious throwback to Sonic’s classic roots never reached its third instalment, leaving the next issue, Sonic: Mega Drive - The Next Level, to end on a cliffhanger.
2017 Robotnikholmes was pissy as all hell, but next time, I’m gonna give the last Sonic: Mega Drive story a proper, modern-day analysis!
#RHSB post#SMD#Still really weird that the first part just ends. like ''Woo this is a good adventure we're having!'' ''MORE NEXT ISSUE!''#''Coming this fall''? You mean WINTER dude#Don't vex me like that xD#Sonic#Tails#Amy Rose#Knuckles#Ian Flynn#Tyson Hesse#Archie comics
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I’ve mentioned before, I’m making a folklore book for my baby nibling and of course we want a multi-regional book of folklore so I am desperately trying and failing to find a Mesopotamian myth where sex isn’t too important a plot point
#I found a work around for Odin hanging himself on the World Tree but idk if I can save Nergal and Ereshkigal#so many descents and returns from the underworld for my yet wee nibling#bc they are going to be a winter solstice baby <3#00#Nergal’s Descent into the underworld and then courtship of the Queen of the dead is so interesting#and it is so fragmented I can read it as sweeter than I probably originally was#god of war getting humiliated and having to go to the underworld to apologize to Ereshkigal#only to get there after doing all these tricks to ensure he can return from the underworld#he gets there and immediately decides I am going to trick my way into a throne by this Queen’s side 😍#who else has ever traveled to the land of the dead and been like I gotta- I gotta figure out a way to stay here forever#ur blorbo could never#but yeah he does all the traditional avoidances of drinking or eating in the underworld m#but the one rule he breaks is that he mustn’t sleep with Ereshkigal#he said o no but she’s hot#the line is «that which men and women do together» so I guess I could change it to kissing#or like the act of talking/falling in love#which is what I did for a Tristan and Isolde type variant#Ianna/Ishtar’s descent into the underworld would have been the traditional winter solstice/turning of the year myth of choice#but it is so… esoteric bc it is fragmented as well#there is some meaning that is not coming through and as it stands I don’t like the… un-nuanced take on Ianna#Goddess of Love and Sex is vain? tired and boring#I feel like I’d need to become an assyriologist and actually study it for a while to do it any justice
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It's October and officially fall so I can't pretend it's still summer anymore :( but I can listen to red again. And the leaves up in New York are really pretty :)
#this kind of fall with the nice weather and pretty colors is the kind of fall i like#but where i live the weather goes from extreme hot to extreme cold#and the leaves go from green to dead#we dont get a nice fall#so it just upsets me. bc it means winter is coming#and winter is BAD
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i think the issue with having an extremely inconsistent sleep schedule is not that your overall daily schedule will be out of wack (i am quite fine with changing schedules) but rather that all hours of the day are Schrodinger's Bedtime. like, going to bed just feels like An Option at all times and this leads to a lot of laying in bed almost dozing but not really sleeping
#eliot posts#i BRIEFLY got my sleep schedule back on track but then i got sick had to sleep all day to recover and now it is Bad again#and then before that it was STABLE for a while but...#i was going to sleep at sunrise every day#which was Bad#bc by the time i woke up it would be almost sundown#so time completely stopped feeling real#fuck the winter darkness i am moving to the fucking equator as god intended#we must ALL come to brazil (or ecuador or kenya or whatever)#but seriously tho like why is my default circadian rhythm to FALL ASLEEP AT SUNRISE#it has always been like this and it happens in all seasons#(isn't too bad in the summer tho bc there's more hours of sun and also student schedule lets me Live Like That)#i am constantly battling my body to adhere to a somewhat normal sleep schedule#bc alas being a member of society means i have to be awake and doing stuff at certain times#scheduling meals and activities a certain way and avoiding blue light does NOT fix shit#keeping a regular schedule can help sometimes but is‚ again‚ an uphill battle against my body#i should honestly try getting one of those seasonal depression sunlamps and staring into it at like 10 pm every night#trick my brain into thinking it is sunrise (and therefore time to sleep)#(also i tried melatonin supplements once and it made me feel like my bones were trying to slither out of my skin#and i had a panic attack and didn't sleep that night. so i am too terrified to try THAT again)
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THE LEAVES OTSIDE ARE ALRSSDY CHANGING COLOUR
#I like fall but this means WINTER is coming#hell season!!!!! AND I have to shovel snow for the first time in my life when it comes . Nauuurrrrrr
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my birth month is approaching fast and I can smell fall in the air... a very strange feeling is brewing in my chest, both exited and nervous
#patxt#isn't nervous and exited anticipation all the same? Man I hate emotions fml#early fall makes me happy - the temperature is perfect the scenery is gorgeous and it always makes me feel like#everyone starts going back to their everyday routines with the summer's excitement fading away#everyone just going on about their lives... it feels peaceful#but also the days become shorter and shorter and that shit drains the LIFE out of me... I function so bad without daylight#and it means winter is gonan come soon... sigh#OH ALSO it's gonna be the first fall on my own away from my home....
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The existence of Haruchiyo implies the existence of Natsuchiyo, Akichiyo and Fuyuchiyo
These are the... Kisetsuchiyo
#i dont know don't ask#for those who dont know: haru means spring - natsu is summer - aki's fall - fuyu winter and kisetsu is season#and yes that comes from the water/fire/earth/airmelon jokes#tr#sanzu haruchiyo
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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