#but even then he was never a lonely boy
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till alien stage everything that you are is so rooted in love. you were a product of it, you lived by it, suffered for it and died because of it. you love so deeply and it destroyed you, but you died loving freely, and being so freely loved in return. life is too short and love is too long, but you cant take loved away.
#obligatory gtn quote bc I cant talk abt love without talking abt tlt#alien stage#till#till alien stage#till mom#sobbing ripping my sheets throwing up#he was just a BABY#HE LOVED TO SING??#they turned this beautiful thing that he loved into a method of survival#they destroyed his innocence#but even then he was never a lonely boy#he still loved so ferociously#god I am so unwell
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I like that face Dev makes.
He just a smol baby 🥺
#fairly oddparents a new wish#fairly oddparents#fop#fop new wish#dev dimmadome#dev fop#When his eyes look out from under his glasses like that I immediately burst into tears.#you immediately understand that even though he is a spoiled kid#inside he is very vulnerable and lonely and doesn’t like to show it to anyone#I saw some people don't like him#and i’m just like#SERIOUSLY??#he's still just a kid after all#Of course he will sometimes do thoughtless and stupid things#after all Mr. Loves His Boots More Than His Child never really spent any time with him#so how can this child who spends most of his time on gadgets due to lack of attention know about moral values??#some people feel more sorry for Peri and it kind of pisses me off#like he was also far from right#At that time Peri was more concerned about his work and the fulfillment of the Dev's wishes#although that's DEFINITELY not what Dev needed#so in essence Peri and Dev are both wrong to some extent and both suffered because of it#poor boys 😭
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I just know Grizel cares so much about Fitz.
She's known this boy since he was 14 (?) and she's watching him grow up.
She's hung around him for years, day and night.
She's eavesdropped on his conversations, and she was there for all of the aftermath of Alvar's betrayal.
She watched his world fall out from beneath his feet first hand. She heard the whispers that followed him everywhere he went. She watched his shoulders fall.
She probably watched him bake treats for his friends. She probably watched him cry and grieve. She probably dragged him out of his bed and showed him how to work out to get out of his head. She probably reminds him to eat, and to get some vitamin D. She probably listens to him pace his bedroom well into the night. She probably listens to him talk to Mr. Snuggles when he's really overwhelmed and just needs a friend who won't judge him.
She'd die for this little sad, short-tempered baby who has done nothing wrong ever in his entire life. And her heart aches for him. For the way he can be surrounded by people, but still be so lonely.
She probably knows him better than most people just off of observation alone.
idk man. we never talk about it. and the friendship angst/potential is immaculate.
#like their friendship is everything to me#while they may never talk about emotional stuff#she was still the first to hug him after Sophie and him broke up in my heart#and she's probably heard him yelling and crying through his bedroom door#and there is nothing this boy could do to make her hate him#She's watched him stress over grades#and flinch at Ro's insults#and she's watched him smile even though his eyes are red and his cheeks are blotchy#and she's watched him lie straight through his teeth that he's fine#she's watched him insist on it#this job used to be about duty#but now#its about being in this scared lonely boy's corner and protecting what little innocence he has left at all costs#Fitz vacker#kotlc#kotlc Grizel
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Hi hello, I was struggling with my Spooktober challenge, but wanted to draw something today, so I ended up with this:
He is Very Shape, so I had to lmao (I don't draw animals much, so it was a bit tricky, but hope it came out okay!)
Also, terkkuja toiselta suomalaiselta, meikäläisiin törmää niin harvoin :D
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#oh no the boy#he looks like his soul is about to leave his body#what goes on behind those saucer eyes I wonder#the horrors it's gotta be the horrors#the shading and lighting are absolutely delicious!#so many good hues and shades#the orange purple and magenta#I use cool colors so rarely (practically never) so it's straight up ~weird~ seeing Machete with a blue color palette#but it works it makes him look even more out of sorts than average#I'm liking all the sharp angles on his ears#oh and the lone strand of fur between them! I draw that too!#I find it terribly flattering when I get gift art from people who say they don't draw furries/animals very often#because if they're willing to venture outside their comfort zone like that it must mean they really truly like the character#I only draw human characters under extreme and unusual circumstances I know how daunting it can be#to switch from a familiar subject to a more foreign one like that#so I see the effort you put into the piece and I appreciate it!#gift art#lumilasi#own characters#Machete#kanssasuomalainen! virtuaalinen yläfemma o/
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i swear once i’m finished with the fashion history essay i’m going to write an equally long analysis solely about jatherine and javid because so many of you are so loud and so wrong about both. and the core of this is that you are wrong about jack
#jatherine has a Longer timeline than javid and somehow i never see the argument that jack didn’t know davey well enough to love him#jack is a desperately lonely orphaned teenage boy with so much love to give and no ability to give it Well#the core of his character is that he loves both david and katherine!#if you don’t think he loves katherine At All then that is a fundamental misunderstanding of him#it doesn’t even have to be romantic love but he Loves Her#and that is Important#sorry i’m ranting again but you assholes keep main tagging your hate
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Touga kyriuu......................... *Inspects him under a ringlight like a surgeon*
#he's been getting into my braun recenyly even tho i might be very less interested jn utena sadly#boy who is terrible omg hiiiiii#i kknda get him btw (never gone theough anything like that im just horrible)#well. hes a super interesting character and honestly. characters tyat use the harmful system to their advantage#i kinda feel it idk. maybe because ive always been a lonely child who had more affinity w adults (authorities)#i really hope touga could get away from ohtori and lived. and realized#away from nanami anthy and saionji and everyone tbh#but most importantly away from akio ohtori#rgu#revolutionary girl utena#touga kyriuu
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The problem with my art right now is that 1) the little drawing time I have goes to @daily-basil ; 2) I have phases, and am currently deeply unmotivated ; and 3) when I do draw what this blog is currently about (Arsenic) I draw him in a gay way (because I love him deeply) and not like the unhinged person he actually is. I'm sorry I'm so soft about him right now. Yes I want Sunny and him to tear each other apart but they also need to love each other so so so much first
#siiiiiiigh...#im sorry i need him to hold sunny gently and tells him he loves him and yes he'll say it in horrible unhinged ways BUT#poor man who does not know how to love and does not know he can be loved. he is convinced he needs to manipulate people to make them stay#writing down arsenic lore for tosteur like two days ago made me so emotional about him. shaking and crying#there's not even like An Event it's just that his whole childhood sucks and he's never been accepted by anyone and he's so lonely and#(starts crying)#he does horrible horrible things but all he does to sunny truly comes from love. deeply inhumane and twisted love but love nonetheless#(except when he's being a selfish ass who doesn't have any sort of morals and generally doesn't give a shit about other people. of course)#god he's such a horrible person (/simplification) i love him#he does not care about hurting other people and only cares about his own selfish desires#he thinks he can do anything he wants and if other people get hurt by his actions it's not his problem#don't you DARE touch a single hair on sunny's head. not in a 'i care about my bf' way btw.#but because if sunny gets hurt. he has to deal with that and 1) it's boring unless it brings him something and 2) that's *his* plaything.#even when he does nice things for sunny he doesn't make it just to make sunny happy#he does it so that sunny will associate happiness with him and stay.#that's what he thinks consciously at least. he always had ulterior motives for everything he does#it doesn't really make him calculating because it's automatic at this point. it just makes him deeply selfish#my poor little boy who has never had anyone genuinely care about him before...#which doesn't excuse shit of course but hhhh i love him so much.#(D if you see this. this is about the OC not the guy. of course)#arsenic#rant#sometimes i think about nick like a normal person ('he's so awful and interesting') and sometimes i just slhrflfbfb. (cries)
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Phuwin Tangsakyuen as Nuengdiao Never Let Me Go First Shot
#never let me go#never let me go the series#nlmg#phuwin tangsakyuen#nuengdiao kiattrakulmethee#userspring#melgifs#3 seconds in and the cinnamon topography is GIVING#ok ok reasons i'm obsessed with this ->#rich boy looking out over a lonely dark city on his 18th birthday knowing he will inherit the power his father has over this landscape#evaluating his reflection in the window bc is he ready? is he enough? does he even want this?#reflection shots always signal a character grappling with their identity#the jaw clench!! because he isn't quite sure he DOES want this predestined future#it's quite isolating after all#but he steels himself because it's the least he can do for the family that has given him everything#and this is BEFORE his dad even dies for god's sake#okay i'm done now sorry for being insane
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Thinking a lot about Ghost Reigen AU these days.
#like how fucked up could that be#this lonely ten year old boy. one who whose powers isolate him from the world in a way he doesn't really understand yet#besides the certainty that they are bad and made him hurt people he cared about#this child finally meets someone who understands his experiences and can teach him how to use these abilities for good#his trusted master; who seemed to know everything and guide him into a better path#...and that no one else could see#reigen on the other side showed himself as this wise and confident mentor; when in reality he never had an idea of what to do#isn't this what maintained him at this world? the lingering wish to one day become someone? even if he didn't get what it meant?#sorry I'm rambling this might not make sense#there is SO MUCH to explore in this AU I'm very curious to what would be reigen's objectives and dillemas here#mp100#mob psycho 100
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Sooooo you would fuck Goku Black after some shots but not Ginyu in Goku's body, even though it's basically the same thing? Zamasu stole Goku's body, after all, just like Ginyu stole his body. Unless you're saying you would fuck Zamasu.
"I don't know how the hell you're getting that idea into that thick head of yours. I specifically said I wouldn't sleep with the bastard."
#grey thing;#answered;#//he has never outright said he would sleep with Goku Black#just has inner thoughts that he hates so much he buries it down#Geets legitimately hates Ginyu cause of his loyalty to Freeza#he can never sleep with anyone that even remotely likes Freeza#with Goku Black its different#with what i've plotted with sovl is that Goku Black toys with Vegeta#he manipulates him and Geets is weak to it cause in that timeline#Geets and Goku had been together for years and the loss of Goku has got him spiraling#ya boi's not mentally stable and is very lonely#anyways you won't be able to get the answer out of him so muns here to clarify! :3
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starting 2 finish up research and move into trying to create some sort of plan and. this r is sooo. oh my. he is the loneliest girl in the world but like actually this time. he is so very. he needs a hug so terribly much he is such a sock in need of darning he needs a little kiss he needs. even just one single friend
#r in an au is often sooo crazy because it’s like imagine the guy that this friendless + melancholy boy would become if#instead of making friends 4 life at age eleven he simply continued to be friendless + melancholy for his entire adolescence#he needs. he soo desperately needs someone who is not his mother to grab him by the shoulders and go hello i like you i like spending time#with you i think the things you have to say are interesting and i would consider you my friend. or he might die.........#still need to give this thing a . fucking title huh. i have one in the works but i dont like it all that much. usually the title is the#first thing i come up with this is. crazy 4 me what even is this thing if it doesnt have a pretentious nonsense little titular phrase#anyway r he is so. he loves his home so fiercely he doesnt feel like its his he never wants to leave he thinks if he doesnt get out#he might die his home is everything 2 him he wants to turn his home into something that does not make him so unbearably sad and#lonely and like a stranger or he will not be able to stay here he. wants his dad to like him as well as loving him he wants the things he#loves to love him back he wants. a friend. well dont worry i am going to give him a pretty boy to. hold hands with justhold on babygirl...#pride au
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🎨 🖼️ 🌈 🩹 🧍🏽💡 🔮⚡️☄️
Blue Moon by Ella Fitzgerald
previous ⏪︎ now playing ⏩ next back to playlist
#byler#stranger things#bizarre love triangle playlist#will byers#will's pov#after the epilogue time-skip we don't really have much to go off of in regards to will's feeling#the main detail that sticks out is the fact that will sat on the ice cooler in the van as a makeshift middle seat separate from mike and el#so it does seem that after the monologue will made the effort to give them space (rather not risk mike saying he's sabotaging things again)#but there's a reason they didn't show us the bizarre love triangle after mike's monologue in surfer boy#we would have been shown el giving the silent treatment to mike shortly after recieving comfort from all of them in surfer boy#we would have seen will choosing to sit on the cooler with the others looking at him with mixtures of confusion and concern and sorrow#and we would have seen mike being self pitying (his words not mine) and also just at a loss with both will and el avoiding him#but now they're seeing the aftermath of all that what just went down#and through all of this will is under the assumption el and mike's love saved the world and mike will never love him back#so he ripped off the band-aid (right?)#this is will (almost) entirely in the mindset that everything here on out with him and mike is strictly friendship#and so why isn't mike going and comforting el? why is he right here beside will reassuring him instead?#why does will still feel this way even though it's been made abundantly clear that it's impossible?#i think these lyrics fit into will feeling lonely after everything but also feeling comforted by a mike that he had missed so much#the mike he fell in love with and thought he lost too#and he can't help but feel like it's something more even still#also the blue moon -> when i looked the moon had turned to gold#just byler things#4x09#gif
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Something about ghostmaker being hit by a de-aging spell pre-ghost stories and only having his AI to take care of him...
#something about being a kinda lonely boy and then getting a glimpse of the future and finding out you're even more alone than before...#only confirming his suspicions that he's one of a kind and will never find companionship in those around him...#still he misses his parents...#something about this child never finding out that he's wrong and that he's not destined to be alone and his life won't be always like that#drac prompts#ghostmaker#minhkhoa khan#drac rambles
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i am once again overwhelmed by love for humans as a whole
#just. fuck#oh my god. oh my god. i love humans. i love humans and i love life and i love that i get to be a part of it#it sucks sometimes and there are awful terrible things that happen and im not going to deny any of that#but just. im thinking about all the strangers who've ever been kind to me and im overwhelmed with love#the girl ive never seen before who grabbed me to dance during my last homecoming with the biggest smile on her face#the kid who taught me where to dig for clay in a lake when i was 8 who told me he loved me when i said i had to leave#the stranger at the last show i went to who held onto my shoulder as we jumped and yelled and laughed together#the little girl who came into my workplace today that told me with the most starstruck face that she liked my hair#the older lady who helped me pick up all my things after i dropped them in a park after an incredibly hard day#the trio of teenage boys who played with me on the playground for hours one evening when i was 6 because they saw i was lonely#the random man who bought me the snack i tried to put it back when i realized i didn't have enough money for it#the teen girls who chased off some guy who tried to kick my head in and then ran back to hold my hands and make sure i was okay#fuck. i love people. i love human beings so much.#i love being alive and im so so glad i made it past middle school even though i thought i wouldn't#i get to look at sunsets and sunrises and i get to pet dogs and i get to wade around in lakes and pools and ponds#i get to hug and hold people and i get to laugh so hard my stomach hurts and i get to yell and scream in happiness#i get to eat good food and listen to good music and i get to run and jump and dance#i get to see beautiful things and i get to watch strangers live their lives around me and i get to be a part of it all#it's amazing!!! fuck!!!! i get to be a part of it all!!!!!#i love being alive and i love that ive made it this far#i don't know what the future holds but im just so glad im even here at all#sorry about the long sappy ramble and i know this probably looks weird but i could not care less#im just overwhelmed with love for everything
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i find it rlly funny when i make a character and i’m just like. tumblr would love them. tumblr would be all over this character. why isn’t tumblr obsessed w them already. and then remember they exist only in my mind :(
#my character birthday i love birthday he’s one of my favorite characters i’ve ever made and i know he would be a hit on tumblr lmao#his name is birthday and he’s the birthday boy and it’s his birthday!#and also he’s devastatingly lonely. and lowkey got theseus’ shipped. whoops.#and also lilith. tumblr would adore lilith.#called the ghost of the wasteland and her existence is largely only rumored. was a genetic experiment to create something that#could survive the nuclear wastelands that cover the majority of her world. they succeeded but she escaped and now lives in those same#wastelands. is incredibly codependent w a very morally grey dude who was a black market test subject for poisons who escaped around the#same time as her and they ended up relying entirely on each other for survival for years and know each other better than anyone#but struggle to connect in any way that isn’t solely to keep each other alive when they��re older.#he never talks about his past and she is almost entirely nonverbal and doesn’t rlly want to find a way to tell him about hers.#she also realized after she escaped that she prefers to be referred to w she/her pronouns after her existence being viewed as#something instead of a someone and choosing that for herself is one of the first choices she ever made for herself and who she is.#and she’s only a side character in the story and mostly just haunts the narrative but yknow i should incorporate her more because#wow i love her actually. she’s dope as hell XD#dandy talks#my ocs#can’t talk more about birthday even tho i love him just as much because one of my friends has my tumblr and i’m using birthday#in a story i’m writing w my friends for fun and i don’t wanna spoil anything more than i have lmao. but yeah birthday is so cool lmao
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some of my most random fucking original characters from half-baked story ideas i have yet to fully develop are the most tragic ones to ever exist. like yeah the people from my current work are pretty fucked up but they don’t inspire as much pain in me as when i think about citydale characters. min truly and genuinely makes me want to cry
#it’s just. auuugh when you’re a writer and you’re sooo lonely and you’re this like 15 year old trans kid and your sisters dead and your mom#hates you and all you can do is live in your own delusion and form parasocial relationships with strangers in your class or on your tiktok#but for some reason god picks you why does god pick you is it even god??? and you create ur own little fucking self contained world through#your writing and as you write your characters based off these real life parasocial relationships you suck these real people into this fake#world and you rewrite their lives and everything about them and make them more relatable and more you and control their fates the way you#can’t control your own. and suddenly ur 16 and ur a miniature god and everyone you were obsessed with hates you so so much but you never#meant to do anything bad. and there’s one kid who gives you a chance and he’s just like you but yeah of course he is that’s because you MADE#him just like you you wouldn’t give him a happy ending or a happy life and he hates you too he has to!#and then you’re road tripping with this kid through a town that’s not real and a world that’s not your own even though you made it#and ur meeting god and ur meeting angels but who fucking knows you might just be hallucinating everything’s so murky and you don’t know when#you got blessed/cursed with these powers and you don’t know if the boy next to you is real#and you’ve spent ur life scared of god and now you become him but he can’t be bothered with you and you’re not even the only one you’re not#even special#and all this time ur sisters dead and ur parents suck and you try to rewrite both those things but it hasn’t quite worked. and ur really sad#and fundamentally you’re still 15 and stuck in ur room creating a false reality#*will toledo voice*: heyyy space cadet it’s alright to want to dream it doesn’t mean reality is mean-#Jesus fucking christ ahyway. one of these days i will sit down and i will write citydale#oc posting…#citydale#oliver talks
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