#but dont you dare say it was forced and unnecessary

[vroomvroomwee]

[darlingdaisyfarm]

⋆｡𖦹 if you wanted to kill Bill, this might do it °⭒˚

somewhere in the woods, you take everything from Bill Cipher by loving Stanford Pines

tags: nsfw, smut, Ford Pines x fem reader, angst, fluff, vaginal & oral sex (m receiving), voyeurism, praise kink, when you hate your man’s toxic ex so much you use his statue as a bed frame, i wrote this to spite Bill Cipher

Ford has never been this weak in his life.

Above, somewhere in the tangled branches, birds chatter and sing, oblivious to what you're doing with your scientist. The leaves rustle from the wind as golden sun drips through the canopy. But down here, where you kneel in the warm dirt, Ford is loosing his smart mind.

It all started with your feigned surprise. “Stanford Pines, tell me, what does my dress have to do with topography?”

“Its not what- It’s-! Oh, hell.”

The woods are golden in the late afternoon light, it’s warm, honeyed summer and everything is moving through syrup.

“Oh, god,” he's already ruined, god bless him. ”this is- this is entirely unnecessary, we could’ve waited until we returned to— ahh—” says the man who got so distracted because he kept catching glimpses of your thighs every time the breeze lifted your dress.

You interrupt him, pressing your tongue to the sensitive tip of his cock and the sound is so pretty, so pathetic, that you moan softly against him just to hear it again.

He's never known a greater pleasure than your hands on him.

His head tilts back, exposing the cut of his throat, the sharp bob of his adam’s apple. Such a mess already, his chest rising too fast beneath his sweater. His six fingers twitch as he wants to grab your hair but doesn’t dare to, always so careful, so controlled.

Meanwhile you keep your hands on his thighs, pressing your nails into the fabric of his pants, and Ford jolts at the sensation, at the impossible warmth of your wet mouth around him. You squeeze him a little tighter, just to see how much he can take.

Ford bucks forward involuntarily, moaning so sweetly, so needy, and oh, god, you feel yourself getting wetter from just the sound of him.

He is shaking and his breath is uneven, back pressed against the rough bark of the tree, he grips at it helplessly, desperately trying to silence himself, but there’s no holding on, no steadying himself. Not when you’re doing this to him.

“S-Sweetheart—” he gasps, cracking on your name. “oh, you— you’re—” he wants to say something smart, something clever, of how you shouldn't be doing this here, but his mind is nothing but white noise and you know it, because when you take him deeper, let him hit the back of your throat just to hear him sob, he actually whimpers.

His hips jerk and he immediately grips the bark harder, forces himself to still. Poor Ford, trying so hard to be good. You press your nails deeper into him, warning him, slowing down to make him squirm, determined to make him louder.

Ford groans, lets his head thump against the tree. You’re torturing him. “dont t-tease. . .”

You’re taking your time, savoring this moment, savoring him, moving in slow, teasing strokes. When you pull off with a sloppy, wet sound and your breath fan over him, pressing a gentle kiss to the flushed tip, Ford looks down at you with question on his flushed face.

“So quiet.” you murmur, nuzzling against his length, feeling the heat of him against your skin, the soft press of his cock against your cheek.

Ford’s gives you an awkward tiny smile. “well, we are in the middle of a forest, darling, i-i can’t exactly—” he blinks, panting, glazed eyes locking onto yours, hoping you'll understand.

No, you dont. “but i want to hear you.” you lick a slow stripe up his length, and Ford bites his knuckles, because that's too sexy for a nerd like him. No one, no fucking one had ever done that to him. He tries to muffle the soft, helpless groan that escapes him, tries to stay quiet by biting at his own skin, fingers.

You stop immediately, frowning up at him.

He gasps in disappointment, blinking down at you, disoriented. “wh- but why did you—?”

You press your cheek to the side of his cock, again, pouting. “i told you, Ford,” look up at him through your lashes. “let me hear you.”

Stanford lets out a breathless mix of a laugh and a groan, tilting his head back against the tree in defeat, taking a deep breath. “darling, you're going to destroy me.” but you know that tone of his, he can't argue back, because he's ready to do anything for his beloved.

Satisfied with your victory, you take him into your mouth, feeling the way his thick cock twitches on your tongue, filling your mouth so perfectly. You work him slow, gripping his base with your free hand.

Ford whimpers, slapping one hand over his mouth before he remembers, remembers your request, remembers that you want to hear him.

He drops his hand, exhales sharply and finally moans. God, he's so beautiful like that, face contorted in pleasure, brows knit together, lips parting, whole body shakes under your touch. You, you, you, all because of you. He’s so damn gorgeous, so vulnerable like this and you can’t help but feel that ache, the deep ache of needing to please him, of wanting to worship him, all of him, your lovely scientist.

“My brilliant girl,” he groans, adoring. “oh, sweetheart, my love, my love, please—“ you hollow your cheeks, taking him deeper, swallowed him whole, greedily, as if he is the last thing you'd ever taste and Ford practically sobs. “feels good, can’t— i can’t! if you keep going, i won’t last.”

“So good for me, Ford,” you praise him, dragging your warm tongue along his length slowly. “so brilliant,” smiling, you wrap your hand around the base, pumping him lazily what makes Ford let out the most pathetic desperate sound imaginable. “so handsome,” and when you reach the sensitive spot just beneath the head, he nearly folds.

“Darling, oh, oh, oh—!” you hum against him, because you can feel the way he’s straining to hold himself back, to keep from just snapping his hips forward and fucking your mouth properly. Ford wants it, needs it, but he’s too embarrassed to admit it, he wants to pull you closer, wants to thrust deeper, but he also wants to let you do whatever you want to him.

He wants to stay like this forever

But Ford is Ford, always so polite, so careful, gentle, even like this. And you love him for it

“You can move,” you murmur sweetly as you take him back into your mouth.

Ford curses, exhales a trembling breath, but his hips roll forward hesitantly. Six fingered hands finally leave the tree, sliding into your hair, unsure, scared to hurt his lovely girl. He holds your head, guiding himself into your warm mouth, finally losing that last shred of restraint.

And you love it, love how helpless and horny he is, completely at your mercy, how his whole body shakes just from the feel of your mouth. His body overriding his poor, struggling self-control.

You relax into it, adjusting to his pace, letting him use your mouth to satisfy himself, letting him set the pace.

“Ohh, you feel. . . you feel so good, taking me so well!” Ford thrusts into your mouth again and he’s moaning, groaning, whimpering your name like it’s holy. Your hands slide down, one still pumping around the base. Then Ford chokes on his next breath when your fingers trace along his balls, tears in the corners of his eyes as he gazes down at you, completely undone.

“Ohh, oh— oh, love, oh, mhmm—” his knees nearly give out, Ford tenses, head tilting back, jaw slack, eyes squeezed shut, his thighs tremble, his stomach tightens and he knows, he knows, he knows that he's right at the edge. “oh, too much! I c-can’t—”

Slickness trails down your own thighs, you're dripping, feeling your own need building just from the taste of him, the sounds of him, the way he whispers your name like a prayer. You hum around him, swirling your tongue, taking him deeper, deeper until he’s hitting the back of your throat again. His fingers tighten in your hair. Good, you think, he's close. First sign of his impending orgasm. You know this man like the back of your hand

“You’re, nghh, you’re so good, so— so brilliant, my brilliant girl” you moan around him, because god, you love it when Ford calls you that. He feels the vibration from your muffled sounds. You look up at him through your lashes, cheeks hollowed around his cock and he absolutely crumbles when you roll his balls between your fingers again, massaging them gently.

Ford's gone, moaning so beautifully loud, choking on your name, shaking violently and then he’s coming hard, his whole body locks up, hips jerking as he holds your head firmly, roots of your hair start to hurt and your jaw aches already, but that's so hot when Ford gets a little bit rough like that.

He's loud, so loud, he can’t hold it back, can’t stop the sounds spilling from his lips, his always so calm voice pitches up, sounding so high and desperate. Ford babbles your name between gasps, begging without even realising as he cums in your mouth.

“Oh, f-fuck, fuck! mhmm, s-sweetheart, I— ohh— fuck, im cumming—“ his voice is hoarse while his body shaking.

And you take it all, let him ride it out as long as your lovely scientist needs, until hes shaking. His glasses are fogged up as sweat rolls down his forehead, his knees nearly buckle.

And above, somewhere high in the trees, a bird trills obliviously into the quiet.

You pull off him with the dirtiest sound ever, swallowing everything he gave you, licking your lips, and Ford watches you do it with glassy, half-lidded eyes. He sags back against the tree, panting like crazy, dazed.

You wipe the corner of your mouth with your thumb, smiling in satisfaction. God, your jaw feels so sore. . . but then your eyes widen a little when he cups your cheek, running his thumb over your swollen lips. His hands are still shaking. Ford looks at you in awe, dumbfounded, totally in love, obsessed, yours.

And that’s when he finally moves.

He grabs you, yanks you up, presses you against the tree. He’s kissing you instantly, tasting himself on your lips, moaning into your mouth while trembling hands hike up your dress. He slips his hand into your panties, feeling the evidence of your arousal, running slow circles over your swollen clit.

Ford groans, presses you tighter against the tree, and this time, he won’t stop until he’s completely buried inside you.

“Right now. I need you, right now.” his fingers tighten in the fabric of your dress, bunching it higher, exposing you completely. Turning you to face the tree, Ford lines himself up, running the head of his cock slowly through your soft folds, memorizing every reaction.

Your summer dress is hiked up around your waist, panties dangling at your ankles, and Ford is right behind you as he desperately adjusts himself between your legs, the thick head of him nudging against your entrance.

“Ford, please!” you squirm, pushing back against him desperately, arching into him.

He presses a kiss to your bare shoulder. Ford, your brilliant, nerdy man, so desperate to be inside you and you're nothing but a puddle beneath him. He’s in love with you, so deeply in love and he can’t hide it anymore, not when you’re like this, not when you’re giving him all of you, when you're being so good for him. He’s so turned on by the idea of having you out here, exposed, but he’s also so fucking in awe of you.

“I have you, sweetheart.”

And then he pushes in, as always he does it, so slow, careful and deliberate, feeling how your warmth welcomes him. You suck in a sharp breath, stretching around him, feeling every inch of his throbbing cock. You drop your frehead against the bark.

“Dear god, you feel— you feel so good, sweetheart, s-so warm, so tight, i— i c-can’t believe—” Ford is mumbling, drowning in how you feel. He kisses your shoulder, then the nape of your neck. “you take me so well, oh, sweetheart, i—” his hands rest on your hips, holding you steady. “ohh, ohh, oh— god—”

He sinks in deep, shuddering, burying himself to the hilt, feeling your pussy clenching around him. And for some time, he just stays there.

“Just like that, swee—” he can't even continue, just presses his forehead against your back and groans. You squeeze him, just to hear him choke on his next breath. “p-please, please— i need—”

“Ford, move.” after that, you feel him pulling back before thrusting back in what makes you both moan.

His pace starts slow and measured, but he's still breathing hard against your skin, whispering between ragged gasps. “youre so warm, taking me s-so deep. . . could stay like this forever, i— i swear, i—”

You arch against him, curling your fingers against the bark and he grips your waist tighter. You let out a gasp when he thrusts deeper, your body stretching to accommodate him.

Ford pushes in, pulls out, thrusts back in. Trying to stay in his senses, controlled, reverent. You may not see his face right now, but you're sure he looks beautiful as ever, trying so hard to stay composed but failing miserably as he makes love to you.

“Your pussy feels so good, god, you're so warm,” his hands slide up your waist, over your stomach, gripping, mapping, memorizing. His pace starts to pick up.

You whimper, pressing your hips back against him, and he chokes on a curse.

“Darling, d-do that again, please—”

You do. Ford holds your hips and starts moving faster, deeper.

The world spins.

“Deeper, Ford,” you cry out into the silence of the forest, needing more. “want you deeper.”

He snaps his hips forward roughly, loosing his control and oh oh, oh, oh. Fuck, a sharp, overwhelming pressure—

You gasp, tensing immediately, something feels wrong or maybe you just— Fuck! Ford pushes into you again and that pressure spreads through your body as you feel slight discomfort.

“Ford, too deep, wait. . .”

“I— are you okay? did I hurt you? i didn’t mean to, i got carried away, i—” he immediately adjusts, pulling back enough and stopping all his movements, but you're silent and it scares him. “sweetheart, talk to me, what do you need? do you want to stop?”

You shake your head. “No, no. Just- just go slower.” Ford trusts you so he pulls out and adjusts your pose a little bit, then sinks back in and changes the angle, gentler this time, smoothly, more careful. And fuck, it feels heavenly perfect now.

You giggle when you feel him pressing kisses to your neck, whispering apologies.

“Darling, is that better?”

You only nod eagerly, too breathless to answer.

“I don’t want to hurt you, i just want you to feel good, i just want to- to worship you, to love you.” you know he's honest because of the way his fingers dig into your skin, and you know he’s trying to hold back, he’s so afraid of hurting you, and you love him for it, so much. Ford buries his face into your hair, breathing you in. “oh, i love you, i love you so much.” you moan in response, easing into the pleasure again.

“F-Ford,” you turn your head and give him a passionate kiss, whispering “i love you too.” into his lips, gasping for breath between each word as he thrusts his cock into you.

You push back against him, moving together with him, your body demanding more, your hands gripping the tree even tighter as you take more of him.

“That’s it, baby,” you breathe, “youre fucking me so good.” and everything what surrounds you blurs. All this summer heat, the golden light, the trees, the birds, the leaves, the wind, it all melts away, until there is only him.

That praise means everything for him, the fact that you enjoy it too. Ford fucks you like you’re his religion, needing you like sinners need confession. The trees stand tall around you, the Oregon forest whispering with wind and distant birdsong. But none of it exists. All that exists is Ford behind you, losing himself, his cock is buried inside you, stretching you open, making you feel so full it’s dizzying, consuming your mind.

The contrast between you is dizzying.

You, flushed and breathless, dress hitched around your waist, panties now lost somewhere in the moss. and Ford, fully dressed, coat, the red of his turtleneck, the belt strapped tight across his chest, the dark fabric of his trousers straining as he presses against you.

He’s clothed like a man who’s spent his life preparing for war, layers upon layers, protection stitched into every seam and yet he’s undone by you

“You're still—” you gasp as he thrusts into you, “fully dressed.”

A choked laugh against your throat. “can't help myself,” Ford admits, ”you’re too pretty i couldn't wait.”

His coat brushes against your bare skin, the contrast of fabric and flesh making you shiver.

His boots firmly planted in the earth. Big. Heavy.

Your bare toes curling against moss, slipping against damp forest floor until you step on his boot. You don’t even mean to, just seeking more balance, more stability. But Ford let's you stand like that if it's more comfortable for his lovely girl.

His hands slide down your stomach and he pressed his fingers against your lower belly, grinding into you and you swear you can feel him in your lungs. Your legs start shaking.

“Can you feel it, sweetheart?” Ford's fingers press into your skin. “feel how deep i am inside you?” he moves deeper what makes your legs nearly give out, but Ford grips you tighter and holds you up. “i’ve got you, i’ve got you, sweetheart. You’re safe, let me hold you.”

Your pussy is wet, tight around him, and he can feel every flutter, every clench, every slick, pulsing squeeze. Ford drags his cock out of you what makes your brows knit together and then he thrusts back in, forcing loud gasps from your parted lips.

“Yes, just like that, yes!” tears slips down your cheeks like melted diamonds.

Ford touches you, smoothing over your belly, sliding up to cup your breasts through your dress. His cock is leaking with pre cum and throbbing inside you, the head rubbing against every sensitive sweet spot inside you, dragging against your walls in sensual thrusts.

Your pussy is soaking him whole, dripping down your thighs, making a mess of both of you, and he can feel it, he can hear it because of wet squelching sounds and it’s driving him insane.

“You're dripping, sweetheart, holy moses. Soaking me.” his long fingers delving between your thighs, pressing against your sensitive clit, pleasuring you even more and your velvety walls clench around him tighter as he rubs your little nub. “that's it, love, that's my brilliant girl, so smart, so perfect, so good for me.” he’s thrusting into you deeper now, more harder, but still careful, drinking in every sound you make, studying the science of your pleasure.

He's filling you with warmth as the pressure inside of you builds. You’re so close, so close you can taste it, can feel the climax just within reach. You push back harder against him, wanting it, needing it as you try to match his thrusts while his fingers work magic on your clit.

“I love you.”

“I love you, i love you, i love you!”

And the forest sings, the wind hums, the world tilts. The sun is honeyed, pooling over your skin.

You’re falling, falling, falling. And he’s falling with you.

The air is filled with heat and pine, damp with the scent of sweat and sex.

The forest is watching, breathing, alive.

But nothing else exists except the way he moves inside you.

“Does it feel good, darling?”

“Yes, yes, oh!” his fingers rub soft circles, matching the rhythm of his thrusts. “Ford, please, don’t stop. . .”

“Won't, i won’t, i could never.”

“Fuck, Ford, im—“ you can't even finish as your thighs start shaking, you’re so close, so close, so fucking close your brain can't work anymore.

“I know, sweetheart, i know, i can feel you, you squeezing me.” his fingers rub your clit harder, his cock fucks into you deeper and you fall apart completely, sobbing and writhing, cumming so hard you swear the whole fucking world disappears. Your pussy throbs, drenches his cock, soaking his thighs, soaking the ground.

Ford thrusts into you through it, desperate, obsessed with how hot you look. “darling, you’re so beautiful like this.” he can't stop pressing kisses to your shoulder, your spine, your neck, his hands smoothing over your stomach, your thighs, soothing you, loving you.

You’re trembling, absolutely ruined by the powerful orgasm your scientist gave you, gasping for air. You want it again, you want him again.

“Please, sweetheart,” his cock throbs inside you, he’s right there too. “please, can i— can i cum inside?”

“Yes, yes, please!”

“Thank you, thank you, sweetheart.” he slams his cock deep one more time and spills inside you, filling you up with his warm seed.

Ford holds you tight in his arms, whispering your name, thanking you, kissing you over and over, breathing hard, sweat damp at his hairline, glasses crooked. His body is so exhausted and overwhelmed.

“Sweetheart,” he's so kiss-drunk. “i think you’ve completely wrecked me.”

You smile softly, too dazed to say something in response, your eyes hazy, body still trembling around him.

But then, involuntarily, you turn your head. Your unfocused gaze falls on. . . oh.

Him.

The statue.

Bill. The golden demonic triangle, locked in stone, frozen in time, trapped in his own cursed monument with his single, etched eye.

Looks creepy, in a way. Like he's watching.

Your breath shudders as your whole body goes still

Ford notices immediately as he calls you by your name, asking what happened. You don’t answer, just tilt your head slightly, staring right back at the statue.

Ford follows your gaze and sees it too.

“. . . Oh.”

You look at Ford and he looks at you. Your fingers trace slow lines down his chest until you whisper.

“Put me against it.”

Ford stares at you, wide-eyed. “you, you want to—”

“Yes.”

“Sweetheart, what if he can—”

“Good.”

Ford sighs and you smile.

“Don’t you want to remind him that you’re mine now?”

And that’s how you end up with your back pressed against the stone surface of Bill’s statue with Ford between your legs. His gaze accidentally falls on the statue and his heart slams against his ribs.

Bill. Watching. Unblinking. Trapped. Helpless.

Bill, who once called him Fordsy, Sixer, IQ.

Bill, who once called him cute when he tried to fight back.

Bill, who once called him his perfect other half.

Bill, who was once the sun in his galaxy.

He's watching, so let him see.

Bill can’t move, can’t speak, can’t scream, but he can see. And he is fucking seething. Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.

THIS?

HIM?

His Fordsy, his fucking Sixer getting ruined by some desperate, pathetic little human? He hates you, hates the way you’re moaning, taking his Sixer’s cock like you fucking belong there, hates the way Ford’s holding you, worshipping you, whispering against your skin.

You are hypersensitive now, your body feels like a live wire, buzzing, overloaded with him. The way Ford's hands move over your skin, trying to understand how someone like him, six-fingered, battered, buried under too many regrets ended up with someone like you, soft and brilliant and wholly, painfully, his.

The coolness of the stone surface of Cipher's statue feels like cruel contrast to the heat between your legs.

Ford makes a quiet whimper before kissing you like he’s dying. Like he’s never known softness before, like he’s never known devotion before, like he’s never been worshiped before.

Your hands wander, relearning the shape of him, the texture of him. The scarred hands, the broad shoulders, the soft expanse of his stomach, the sharp ridges of his hipbones.

You can feel his heartbeat through his cock.

You drag your nails up his spine, feeling the way his whole body twitches, responds, obeys.

His brain is short-circuiting because he’s never had sex like this, he’s never been touched like this, he’s never been wanted like this.

“I should stop,” the scientist between your legs says. “i should sweetheart, this is madness.”

But he doesn’t move away, doesn’t pull out, doesn’t stop. Because he can’t. Or maybe because he doesn’t want to. Could it be both?

Bill remembers when it was him who could make Ford tremble, when it was his words, his touch, his power that made Sixer gasp. When it was him who was the center of Ford’s universe.

And now Ford is gripping your thighs, burying his face in your neck, whimpering into your skin.

Bill is fucking livid, watching HIS Sixer trembling, gasping, clinging to you like you are his entire existence. Watching Ford ruin himself for you. Watching Ford let himself be loved. Watching Ford beg to be yours.

And Bill can’t do a fucking thing about it.

Ford is losing his mind because it can't be real, too much, too good, too intense.

Bill hates the way Ford’s fingers slide into your mouth, pressing against your tongue, letting you suck, letting you worship his extra one.

“Good girl,” his Sixer says, watching the way your lips close around his digits as your tongue flicks against the calloused pads, your moan vibrate straight into his palm.

Bill remembers the first time Ford ever held out this hand to him.

"I was born strange. I am attracted to the strange. And the strange has always been attracted to me." Ford’s brilliance was always his curse.

Bill had taken his hand. And never let go.

Until now, until you.

His sixer, his brilliant, stubborn, impossible Sixer reduced to this? To a whimpering mess, buried deep in some lovesick human.

Bill wants to claw his way out of this stone. wants to take back what’s his. Bill would laugh if he could, would tear you away from him and remind Sixer exactly who he belongs to.

This is hell, no, this is worse than hell.

He was a god, infinite. And now he's a fucking rock, a statue, a prisoner, a powerless, speechless, helpless observer to. . . to what? to this shit?

“You’re mine,” you breathe into Ford's lips.

“Yes, yes, yours, I'm yours, always, always, always.”

Ford. His Ford.

No. No, NO, NO.

He is watching Ford give himself away, watching Ford worship you like you hung the fucking stars.

Stanford was his. HIS.

He was supposed to be the only one to drive Ford mad. He was supposed to be the one who made Ford weak, made him beg.

Ford had been so easy back then. So starved for validation, but desperate for knowledge and so beautifully eager to destroy himself in pursuit of something greater.

Bill had owned him.

“You’re mine.”

“Yours, all yours, my love.” Ford’s eyes are unfocused, hes so far gone, for you.

And you know it, Bill can fucking tell because you're looking at him, looking at the statue as you grip Ford tighter, protecting him from Bill.

“Mine.” and Ford, who, in Bill's opinion, has always been an obedient dog, damn nods.

This is a joke. This is an insult. This is a violation.

And yet, it is him that you and Ford are violating, his monument, his remains and his final resting place, his one trace left in this world.

“She knows. She knows what Ford and I were. That’s why she’s doing this, isn’t it? That’s why she’s dragging him down onto the cold stone, letting him touch her, making him forget everything but her. She wants to erase me, wants to make sure that when Ford thinks about what it felt like to kneel before me, to look up at me with awe and fear and longing in those stupid, stupid human eyes, all he will remember instead is this. She wants to overwrite it. Reprogram him. Take what was mine. I hate her. I hate her. I hate her. She is all human frailty, weak, pathetic, replaceable. She is mortal, temporary, fragile, finite. But my Ford brilliant. Ford is infinite. Ford is so much more. And yet, he isn’t even thinking of me, is he? He is looking at her. She has ruined him. He used to beg for me. Now that idiot is worshipping her. Losing himself inside her. Dedicating himself to her like a disciple, a zealot, a man willing to fall to his knees and destroy himself for devotion. That used to be for me. His hands. . . oh dear Euclydia, those hands— how many times did those same hands trace the surface of my pages, searching for truth, for knowledge, for validation? How many times did those fingers clutch at my edges, desperate, reaching for something no human was ever meant to touch. Now those same hands are on her. And I cannot stop it. I cannot do anything. I can only watch as she takes him further and further from me, until there is nothing left. Until the Stanford Pines I knew, the Stanford Pines I built, the Stanford Pines I made, the Stanford Pines I claimed is completely gone. Until I am nothing more than a forgotten scary whisper in his mind. Until I am just a rock in the woods, forced to witness the slow, meticulous erasure of my own existence. My body doesn't have mouth and I cannot even scream.”

Bill doesn’t love Ford. He doesn’t even know what love is. But he knows obsession and he knows hunger, and somewhere in that chaos, Ford became the center of it all.

Bill has never been helpless before, never been forced to endure something without intervention.

And worse, this is Stanford Pines. The only human who ever matched him, challenged him, fascinated him. Ford believed he could outthink a god, Bill knew that mortals only crumble faster under pressure.

Ford isn’t just being fucked. Ford isn’t just desperate and needy, begging for attention. Ford is in love. Being consumed by love, taken in a way that made him forget himself. Forget Bill.

Bill can’t stand it. This is cosmic-level sadism.

”I am a god, a destroyer of worlds. I have seen the rise and fall of civilisations. I have cracked open minds and turned them inside out. I have walked between dimensions and burned the laws of reality into my own design. Now I'm left to rot in this miserable meat-world. And i could have handled that, maybe. Could have tolerated the humiliation, the aching eternity of nothingness, if not for this. If not for Stanford Pines, of all people, of all creatures in the multiverse, of all sentient beings in all realities, here like this. Right in front of me, crying out in reverence for someone else. Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me! He's looking at her like she’s the fucking god in this equation. It’s not just that he’s on his knees for her in the same way he once was for me, it’s that he WANTS this. It's that he’s soft for her and not because he’s lost his mind and scared, not because he’s intoxicated by the thrill of the impossible, not because i have my hands in his brain turning the gears myself. But because he loves her. I should be touching him, i should be inside his head, mind, body. I should be the one pulling those noises out of his throat. This is the worst part. Not the betrayal. Not the humiliation. But the knowledge that he doesn't think about me anymore. Ford Pines is no longer mine, he does not dream of me, he does not scream my name, he does not shudder at my touch, he does not remember what it was like to belong to me, he has forgotten, he has replaced me and there is nothing i can do about it. Not now, not ever.”

I'm going insane.

He’s the smartest idiot I’ve ever met. And trust me, I’ve met a lot of idiots.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE GOD?

To see everything, to know everything, to hold eternity in your hands like a matchstick? To bend reality, break minds, carve new universes from the ribs of dying ones?

To whisper your name into the black holes of men’s hearts and have them answer you, hungry, desperate, willing?

I do. I did. Hahahahahhahaha! NOW I SEE!

This is what i did to you, isn’t it, Sixer? This is what i made you feel, when i left you alone, when i lied, when i called you a fool, when i told you that you needed me more than i ever needed you.

This is what it felt like, isn’t it? It hurted you?

“You’re the smartest person i’ve ever met.” Ford thought he could tame chaos and Bill thought he could devour genius. The tragedy is they both succeeded.

Sixer was always meant to fall into obsession, but it was supposed to be Bill’s name trembling off his lips, not yours.

Do you even understand what you’re touching?

Do you know what he was before you came along, sinking your little hands into him, sinking your little teeth into his throat, into his fucking soul?

Do you know what he could have been?

My Sixer was never meant to be this small, this weak, this human.

Do you know what i saw in him? POTENTIAL.

He was born wrong, born strange, born too smart for his body, too brilliant for his world. He was never meant to belong.

But i could give him something better. And oh, Sixer, my darling Sixer, my beautiful, tragic, broken Sixer, you knew it, didn’t you? You knew it the moment you met me because the first time you let me in, i felt you shudder. Not in fear, no. In recognition. As if finally, finally, finally you had found something as hungry as you.

“I need you, darling, need you so much, it’s terrifying.” aww, but Fordsy, you always did love things that scared you.

Cipher was the sun in his galaxy, but do you know what happens when a star collapses? It doesn’t just disappear, it becomes a black hole, it pulls everything in, crushes everything under its gravity. It becomes a point of no return.

And you, little parasite, LITTLE THIEF, you think you’ve won? Seriously? You’ve stolen him from me!

Ford builds to understand, but I destroy to prove. He may map the stars, but I decide where they fall

Ford defines matter, but I define meaning, my poor Sixer seeks the truth and i am what breaks it.

He draws the line between genius and madness. I blur it until he can’t find his way back.

I'm still here.

“He promised me knowledge, and I gave him my trust. He took both and left me drowning in questions I can never unask. I let him orbit my thoughts only to find I was a moon bound to a planet that devoured itself. I thought he was a guiding star, but he was a collapsing supernova, destroying everything in his wake and I still couldn’t look away.” torn pages from Ford’s journal say.

Ford will never admit it, but Bill gave him something he never had before, a reason to feel important. It’s not that Ford wants the universe. He just wants to matter in it. And Bill let him think he did.

Ford thought he hated the way Cipher talked, but it’s the silence that terrifies him because he knows he’s still there, waiting.

Bill carved himself into Ford’s life like a parasite, but Ford let him in like a lover.

And it's a mistake he'll never repeat again.

fuck it.

Ford doesn’t know what’s more overwhelming. The way your pussy clenches around him, fluttering, soaking his cock. Or the way you lean back against the cold, unmoving surface of Bill’s statue, lips parted, a wicked little smile curling at the edges.

You reach back, threading your fingers through his damp, silver-streaked hair and kiss him roughly, biting his lips, exploring his mouth with your tongue. You don't notice the way Ford's eyes flicker up to meet the empty, unblinking gaze of the stone triangle looming over you both. Ford’s stomach twists, his pulse stutters. His mind reels

You are on top of him now, your thighs are straddling his hips, knees pressing into the damp moss, hands cradling the sharp lines of his jaw. Ford's free hand grips your ass, squeezes tight, pulls you down harder.

You ruin him, it's too much, the way your pussy swallows him, velvet heat stretching around him, keeping him locked inside you. The way you grab his wrist, pull his hand to your mouth, and slip his fingers past your lips again.

Ford's hair is a mess, just like himself, his face is flushed, drenched in sweat, pupils so wide they swallow the soft brown of his eyes. Half-lidded and glassy, he looks at you, taking you in, drinking you in, your beauty.

Ford pushes the straps of your dress down, letting them slip from your shoulders, exposing your breasts to the golden, dappled light filtering through the canopy above. The sight is so beautiful, watching your breasts bounce as you fuck yourself dumb on his cock. Ford thinks he might never want to leave this moment, this place, this overwhelming, earth-shattering feeling of being inside you, of being part of you, of belonging to you.

“So good, so good,” you whisper, scratching your nails against his shoulders as he stretches you open. “hnngh, Ford, so big, you're so big, Ford, c-can feel you—”

His entire body locks up. “too deep? Sweetheart, do you need me to stop? Do you—”

Your hands fly up, cupping his face. “No, don’t you dare stop.” you sink down again, grinding onto him, taking him even deeper and Ford cries, his body can't process the pleasure of feeling you squeeze around him, taking him so perfectly, so fully

“Love, I—” you roll your hips, rubbing against him just right. “I— oh, god, oh fuck,” he’s always been articulate, always so good with words, so clever, so brilliant, but right now, he’s nothing but wrecked, broken syllables, hoarse moans, desperate gasps.

God, you love him so much.

His head tilts back against the Bill's statue, exposing his throat to you, mouth open, panting, eyes unfocused, completely pussy drunk.

“Baby,” you whisper, sliding your fingers into his hair, yanking him forward, forcing him to look at you. “stay with me.”

His silly gaze snaps to yours, pupils blown wide as he gives you the most genuine fucked out smile.

“Always, always, sweetheart, always.”

"Keep talking, please.”

“Can't,” he gasps. “can't—” he's gripping the swell of your ass, yanking you down, forcing you deeper, forcing you to take every inch of him, and god, he's buried so deep it makes your breath stutter.

Your walls tighten around him and Ford straight-up whimpers. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, pressing your forehead against his.

“Where’d all those big words go, hm?”

“You— you’re— ngh, y-you’re ruining me.”

You don't really notice how he slides a hand between your bodies and runs two fingers through the mess where you're stretched around him, rubbing your clit, then brings his fingers to his mouth. His lips close around them, licking the taste of you and he groans like he's been starving.

“You taste like heaven, my love.” Ford hugs you and buries his face in your throat, teeth scraping, lips sucking, marking you, branding you meanwhile his fingers slide back down, slipping between your folds, circling your clit gently and you fucking die from this kind of intimacy. Your whole body tenses.

“F-Ford!” he grips your waist tight, holding you in place and then he thrusts up, deeper, faster and harder, his cock slamming into you so perfectly it makes your vision blur. “Yes,” you sob, “yes, please, harder. I love you, more!”

His cock drags against your inner walls, grazing against every tender spot.

He isn’t just giving you his body, but his soul. And he’s never, ever taking it back. The smartest man in the universe, the man who has solved unfathomable cosmic mysteries, completely undone beneath you.

Your clit throbs as you cry out, digging your nails into his shoulders, holding yourself.

"Please," man beneath you gasps, "please, sweetheart, don't stop—" you ride him faster. You move together like you are the one. Your bodies fit like the phases of the moon, waxing and waning, perfect in every alignment.

The pressure builds and builds until it snaps, and you cry out. The heat coiled tighter and tighter in your belly, your breath coming in short, frantic bursts. Ford's fingers rub over your clit one last time and the oversensitivity makes you jerk and shake.

Ford thrusts up into you, his hands shaking on your waist and then he cums. Your head falls back, lips parted in a silent cry as your pussy grips him tight, milking him. His thrusts slowed as you feel every inch of him pulsing, his cum filling you to the brim you can feel it dripping already.

The world is quiet. The only sound is your breath, the exhausted gasps of two people who just destroyed each other in the best possible way.

Your legs are shaking too much to move, body boneless

Ford presses his forehead to your shoulder,

“Jesus christ.”

You laugh, dazed, punch-drunk, deliriously happy. Your tired. hand slips and you almost touch the statue, or to be exact, Bill's stone hand as it looms just inches away, and Ford’s eyes go wide.

”Don’t!” he shouts, grabbing your wrist.

You freeze. “Wha—”

“It’s a deal, you touch him, you’re making a deal and we’re not doing that. Not ever.” you look at the statue when realization dawns.

Later, when you’re both dressed and leaving the clearing, Ford glances back at the statue with blank expression

“He can’t hurt us,” he mutters, more to himself than to you. “not anymore.”

Stanford spent a lifetime chasing knowledge, mysteries, the secrets of the universe.

And now he's realising he should have been chasing you. It’s good that there’s still a lot of time left.

[bisexualfemalemess]

BRIDGERTON SEASON 3 PART TWO SPOILERS

I needed to make a part two 🫣 Anyway that hand kiss was so cute was it not? *threatening stare if you dare to say otherwise* HAHHA He really hates portia so bad. AWWWWW him saying that he wants to see Cressida watch penelope in her triumph, he’s truly such a wife guy. LADY DANBURY IS A SHIPPER AND PENELOPE SUPPORTER MUCH LIKE VIOLET. MY LORD THAT GIRL IS TRULY SO LOVED. Agatha seems to have clocked violet’s and marcus’ tea. ELOISE I GET YOU BABY GIRL BUT PLEASE THE ULTIMATUM WAS SO UNNECESSARY. At least wait till the morning, my god. Now she’s gonna panic at her own engagement ball, my poor baby pen ;(aww not killmartin being so nervous that poor man. Violet hates portia so bad, it’s so funny how not one of the bridgertons likes anyone from that family other than my babygirl pen. Ooh toast time. Aww that speech was so cute 🥹🥹🥹🥹 the callback to their first meeting. Poor baby pen already looks so guilty and then eloise decides to swoop in with her fucking shady speech like girl i really do love you and get where you’re coming from but once again i ask you to read the fucking room because there’s a time and place for that shit and it’s not at her engagement ball to your fucking brother. Violet’s a queen for forcing her to save that speech and once again portia needs to leave her ulterior motives at the fucking door. Penelope really is not used to love from her mother she looks so uncomfortable when portia says shes proud like “ha. Yeah. Totally.” Kate saving the engagement ball or pregnant queen truly is working overtime this season. I just now this charades scene is gonna be chaotic asf and i’m here for it because we all know how competitive this bunch is from last season. Kate and Penelope are gonna be the cutest sister-in-laws i just know they’re gonna form an alliance in support of the loser malewife husbands. Anthony’s so fucking competitive and i commend kate for keeping her cool because the way she closed her eyes truly showed how tired she was of that man lmao. Man i can’t handle pen and eloise’s awkwardness just give me my besties back jfc like they’re so in sync, continuously getting each other’s words. ELOISE GUESSING FRIENDSHIP IN THAT TONE LIKE BITCH DONT GIVE HER THAT ATTITUDE AND JUST MAKE UP???? THAT BITCH LOOK SHE GAVE PENELOPE??? seriously they’re dragging this storyline out i need them back so soon. Creloise fighting :( how sad, oh, well, maybe peneloise can come back now. Kate is so welcoming to john she’s so queen. AWWW JOHN AND FRANCESCA ARE SO FUCKING CUTE. Not colin mentioning lady whistledown and everyone laughing put some respect on the queen’s name jfc she’s right next you. “Certainly any hope of marriage” AND THEN PENELOPE TURNS TO HIM LIKE STOP IT RN My baby’s having a full blown panic attack ;( Aww kanthony wanting to tell people they’re expecting a cute little scene for my kanthony heart 🥺🥺🥺 Not penelope having an actual full blown panic attack in colin’s study while everyone’s talking about whistledown in the next room. And colin following her but deciding not to bother her ;( like baby ‘tis not you she’s just going through something rn. It’s so eating away at her. My babies, colin’s so worried she doesn’t want to marry him when in fact she’s worried that everything’s gonna come crashing down at midnight. Not penelope literally being unable to breathe yet everyone else is still happily wrapped up in the party??? Like that girl is full on crumbling in her fiancé’s arms and you’re telling me no one’s noticed? Like i wanna be happy about kanthony telling the moms about the grandchild (i am who are we kidding) but penelope’s currently fighting for her life trying to not crumble. CRESSIDA FUCK OFF NOT THE KANTHONY COCK-BLOCK AND PENELOPE FAINTING MY POOR BABY. Now everyone’s crowding her. Truly so loved that girl

[theshy1sout]

Six Eared Shadow

Do you remember the analysis about Mei and Red Son? That was me, and I'm doing this again, but now about Macaque and Sun Wukong

Because what the heck why do they hate each other so much

Ok, so this... This is such a messy chaotic really chaotic mix of a few headcanons and theories I made up and it SOMEHOW turned into a fanfic that I wrote so long that other people made many similar things in meanwhile and now this sounds not original at all, but I wrote it not to keep it in my deep hidden shelf so here we go

(It's based on what I know from the lmk series. I've started to read JTTW, but I'm still not so far to get to know anything about Macaque, but I won't change anything about this theory from now on)

Let's gather some basic information for the start.

-> Macaque is made with a shadow or even he is a shadow (kinda shadow demon, the demon of shadow). I mean, shadow is not only his power, he literally is made with shadow matter. We know that because he can not only manipulate shadows but also go through walls and turn yourself into a shadow.

-> I'm not sure if someone made him or he just "poof" out of nowhere just like Sun Wukong, but according to the story he told about how close he and Monkey King used to be, there's no doubt they had some master/student relationship which later turned into almost equal partnership. What is said, Macaque followed Sun Wukong for a long time, learning a lot from him, 'being his shadow'. They grew in power together, fought together, and (as it is said) Macaque started casting as Sun Wukong shadow, which (surprisingly) looks like he did willingly. Just look at the picture - the shadow is big and bright, it’s powerful and smiling, proud of his strength. He doesn’t look like someone forced to be Sun Wukong’s shadow. It shows how much Macaque admired Monkey King, that he wasn't just a friend for him, he was his idol.

-> We all know Macaque is a shadow demon, he can easily change his appearance, he does not have to look like an evil clone of Monkey King, especially if he hates him now or something, SO even if he used to look up at Sun as his ex-student or ex-partner, and now we know he is NOT, he would prefer to not look so similar any more.

He can choose any other look, but he doesn't. Why? Well, maybe he actually cannot. Maybe this isn't an appearance he has specifically chosen, maybe this is his 'basic' comfy form and any other form would just take too much energy to keep up. And looking at the really tiny probability of two very similar monkeys just "poofing" out of nowhere, I dare to say, Macaque wasn't born (I mean like Sun Wukong or any other demon), but he was specifically created. And here is a question: on someone's purpose or not? Maybe the power of great Monkey King was so strong so the part of it just jumped from him and formed into another similar creature, but let me say it's just weird and I prefer the theory of Sun Wukong being so bored and lonely after his master's (Tripitaka) death, and he created a brother for himself from his own shadow. Just to have someone, anyone.

So Wukong created Macaque and then what? He trained him, he taught him everything he knew, maybe even he shared his powers with him. Some great great bonding time. But as Macaque said, something drew them apart. It is visible that Macaque blamed Monkey King for this, for 'forgetting him'. Before speculation of what happened then between them, let's focus on what Macaque showed us what he wants now.

We have two episodes, both show different sides of him. In season 1, Macaque's main goal is to steal Monkey King's power from Mk, and then to very specifically revenge. He visibly does not want to defeat Sun Wukong, he wants to hurt him as much as possible. Look: when Monkey King showed up, Macaque totally forgot about Mk. And then, when he's so close to defeat him, instead of that he turned to Mk and tried to kill the teenager. Mk is just a tool to hurt Sun Wukong.

And we can't forget how Macaque constantly pointed out all the weak sides of Sun, he's basically just saying on and on "you're weak, you're weak, you're so weak, I'm so strong, I'm strong, you are so weak". Which really fits the feeling of being forgotten because he was weaker and Monkey King was stronger, better, glorious and famous. Macaque really feels like that, he really tried to make Sun Wukong feel his pain by dominating him.

On the other hand, we see that Sun constantly striked off him. He said almost nothing to him, just "Aren't you bored of keep being in my shadow? It's time to give back what you've stolen" and that was fricking all. For Monkey King, Macaque is a just shadow, always behind him, something you turn around and leave behind to not see it and to forget, like an unwanted past. An unnecessary problem, that irritatingly keeps returning to him. He does not want to interact to not make even a slight more bond between them, he wants to delete him from his life forever, and omg WHY. At this end of the ep, Sun Wukong did not even mention Macaque. He really doesn't care at all (or extremely tries to not care). His HATE is almost touchable, ouch.

In season 2, Sun Wukong LEFT US ALL ALONE. Macaque showed up again, he played with Mk a bit, and... Left? That's the thing, you see, he doesn't need to hurt or kill Mk. All we see is Macaque talking about his past and then letting Mk experience something the 'hero' in the story should have felt. The guilt. When Mk interpreted his story differently, seeing himself as the warrior, Macaque corrected him. Cause he doesn't care about Mk at all. He heard how Mk told him about what hurt him, and here is a funny point, because if Macaque needs to be understood, listening to Mk and talking with him (such a simple act of empathy, they both needed it then, guh) should have been enough. Mk really felt the 'warrior' character in the story, so he understood what Macaque felt. But surprisingly, that was not what the demon carved.

Macaque chose to make Mk feel like Monkey King at the moment something drew the demons apart. He wanted to force Mk to be sorry, to apologize, to regret his mistakes, cause he failed with forcing Monkey King to feel that. But! Maybe he is not as purely innocent and poorly forlorn. We see the flashback for a half of second before Mk hit him with Staff:

We see Sun Wukong attacking Macaque who's in his demon (true) form.

Let's repeat this: Macaque felt as if a friend left him in the past. He said a friend did this to have all the "hero's glory" for themselves. We know Sun Wukong could do such a thing, especially before he met Tripitaka, but 1. In my theory Macaque is created after Tripitaka's death and 2. If (as my theory said) Sun created Macaque to not feel so lonely, he would never leave him for such a thing. So Macaque hides something for sure, something he did, something so terrible that made Sun Wukong attack him and not want to know him anymore. How horrendous thing Macaque did that made Sun Wukong choose to be alone again and to forget his dear brother he created by himself?

Back to the great bonding time, repeating speculation of "oh maybe they even share the powers" and comparing it to Macaque wanting to steal Mk's power, my theory here is saying:

Sun Wukong taught Macaque the technique of the same powers as he knew, but Macaque overused it (probably wanting to see how powerful he is, probably showing off and killing so many harmless people) doing terrible terrible things. So Monkey King took all of the powers from him and left him alone, powerless, with the last painful words: "Dont you dare to show in front of my eyes ever again". Of course Macaque was hurt, of course he didn't see why he's the bad guy, because he did not care about people at all. And of course Sun Wukong was hurt too.

Maybe he came back to the village Macaque had destroyed and following a quiet crying he found a little baby with a heart so clear and he put into him all Macaque's powers, making them sleep until the time will be right... But back to the series!

Yes exactly. Why did he destroy the lantern and leave? Why did he suddenly lose interest in teasing Mk and stop forcing him to feel guilty?

First thing, he saw Mk is ready to fight for his friends seriously. He still cared so much about them, not like Monkey King about Macaque. That was hard to swallow, that was hard to watch for the demon. That was't the thing he wanted to see. And second, the flashback. Maybe the sudden realization that he actually did something bad. Cause Sun Wukong didn’t just leave him, he cast him out. It was hard to admit that he actually deserved this (or maybe much more), it’s much easier to blame others, not yourself. So Macaque felt “that’s enough” and left. Mk brought him to this uncomfortable point of admitting the truth. Which he didn’t want to. Maybe in the following eps, he will see it, but now Macaque just isn’t ready yet. But the last talk with Mk gives me a little hope. He stopped treating him like a tool or toy, he was actually talking with him like with a person, he even warned him about Lady Bone Demon.

Maybe (maybe) one day he'll see that humans aren't just useless creatures he can carelessly kill, maybe Mk will make him care and realize what he's done, but that's just speculation in speculation, he could die before he reaches that point, maybe he is already dead....

And that's it. That is all I wrote on ao3, but in the fanfic I put much more details and I build those characters up much more than here. This is only rough rough short-saying, I'm really sorry if you read it all

Oh and here is a link if you liked this above i'd love if you read the fanfic thank you

[chocominnie]

Can you trust me? | knj

⇢ pairing: namjoon x reader (idol! Namjoon)

⇢ genre: Angst because Namjoon may or may not be an asshole about important things but also fluff because of sweet-talking

⇢ word count: 3k

⇢ warnings: Arguements but honestly thats it because the rest if fluff lmao.

⇢ Copyright:  please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken

⇢ Summary: Namjoon keeps making excuses of not meeting up with you and given that you guys have been having fall outs recently, things are about to be put on the line. Will you guys break up? Or will you stay together? Can you trust him..

You have reached the voice mailbox of-

You shake your head lightly as tears feel the brim of your eyes. This is the third time today. You knew that in this relationship with Namjoon would mean that he wouldn’t always have time for you. But for him to not even give you a quick text or just even answer his phone is absurd. You’ve been talking about this meet-up for the past two weeks. Although he is mostly busy majority of the times, a dinner for one night surely wouldn’t affect his schedule right?

Especially with all the things going on between you and him. This date tonight would of approached everything that has been happening. The arguments you guys have are just nerve wracking. Especially when he argued with you for being clumsy because you had spilled fruit juice in his studio.. on the wooden floor. You just didn’t get how it would be a big deal as it was not carpet so an easy clean up. At the end of the day, you guys knew how to get on each others bad side and that’s not good at all.

So here you are now, dressed  in an elegant black dress with that Swarovski crystal bracelet he gave you for your 1 year annivesary. Atleast, that’s when he actually gave a fuck about the relationship. Actually, you can’t even count the amount of excuses he’s made within the past months to not spend time with you. The last time it was because he was washing clothes and didn’t have any to wear right now. In which you had called bullshit because he has more clothes than anybody could ever.

Needless to say, you had ignored his calls and texts for two days to give him a piece of your mind. Namjoon wasn’t the type to over-react on such things so it wasn’t a win situation for you. Instead he sent you some of your favorite chocolates and flowers as an apology as you weren’t speaking to him. Yes, you gave in because who wouldn’t over the dozen of roses and Switzerland made chocolate?

This time is something different though.

The waitress returns with a bottle of champagne with a bucket of ice in her hands, and while she sets it down, you quickly wipe the stray tears away and force a smile. You didn’t even notice they were there before.

‘‘ It seems as though my significant other..” You take the napkin from your lap and throw it on the table. “ Will not be joining me today. I’m sorry to keep you waiting.”

The poor waitress had been waiting for you to order your food for an hour now. You’d kept insisting to wait because Namjoon would’ve been there any minute. Turns out you were very wrong.

She smiles softly, popping the cork off the bottle and pouring a glass for you.  ‘‘Shall I give you the bill then?’‘

As if you would be the one paying for this, when he had broke his promise for you. Broken promises are a thing you hated and he knew that. Putting this on his tab wouldn’t bother him with your petty little antics. The boy is a millionaire, something like this doesn’t even make a dent. Somehow though, you wanted to pay him back for not even showing up.

‘‘Put it on Kim Namjoon’s tab. He’ll be the one paying for this.’‘ You mumble to the young girl. The girl nods her head and pulls out the tab and hands it to you.

You sign your signature on it, and place a good thousand dollar tip on it. The feeling of satisfaction soothes you. He’d surely be paying for his time away, and wasting this waitress’ time. You hand it back to her, waiting for her reaction to the amount. Sure enough she doubled back to you when she realized how much was on the tab.

“ Ma’m? You added two extra zer-”

“ My date wasted your time love. He’s deeply sorry for it. Do something good with the money yeah?” As if the sinister smirk to yourself wasn’t enough, you quickly get up from the table and thank her again before heading to the exit.

The taste of the sweet yet tangy wine soothes the emotions flowing through you right now. Kim Namjoon. A guy who cancels dates a lot. A guy who does not keep his promise.

The only place you knew he would be at rather than his apartment would be at the BigHit building in his studio. He’s always there rather it be snowing or sunny outside he’s just.. there. It always astonishes you how one can just lock himself in a room for hours. What is it about him and doing that? Last time you paid a visit here Namjoon was eating the dinner he ordered in the room, instead of coming over to your house as he promised.

You punch in the code to the brand new building and a charming sound lets you know you may enter. You smile at the two security guards who give a slight smile then back to the blank expression towards the outside world.

Your heels click against the cold tile making your way over to the receptionist. The air smells fresh, as if someone had just cleaned the room again. The receptionist politely stands up quickly and greets you with a smile and a slight bow of her head.

“ Miss Yn, how may I assist you today?” Her eyes are warm and bright, along with her small smile at you. You wish you could feel happy in this current situation right now.  

“Is Namjoon in his studio again.”

‘‘ Yes Ma’m should I tell him that you are coming in?’‘ She says, smoothing her skirt out before sitting back down about to grab the phone.

You immediately shake your head no. Since he doesn’t like showing up and canceling dates he doesn’t need to know anything at all.

You force a fake smile upon yourself to please her. ‘‘No. It’s a surprise since we have not had the time to see each other in a while.’‘ Oh yes, a surpise it will be.

She nods her head, ‘‘ Yes ma’m. Have a nice night with him.’‘

You say your goodbyes to each other and you go your separate way down the hallway of studios. Each door standing out in it’s own way makes you smile.

Mang Gae Deok Room

Hope world

Golden Closet

Genius Lab

And finally, Mon Studio.

You fluff your hair a little bit before turning the corner to the secluded area. But something takes you by surprise, it makes you tense up. Eyes watering and a little whimper chokes out of you. So this is what he’s been doing. This is what he’s been up to for the past weeks.

Its as if almost you feel your heart stop beating for a mere second. As if the blood in your veins went cold. As if what you’re seeing right now is only your imagination but in reality it is not.

There he is, sitting in his chair while a female takes it upon herself to casually take a seat on his desk, smiling and laughing and all. The pain in your heart makes it hard for you to keep looking. Sure, you guys argue, but ditching plans to do whatever it is with a girl is a low blow. That’s all you can take. That’s all you can manage to see right before he turns to look at you in complete and utter shock. There is no stopping the flow of the tears coming down your warm cheeks.

You look down at the boxed up food you had bought him and the bottle of wine that you had taken then back up at the door. Raising the box in the air, you throw it against the window making the food splatter everywhere leaving a mess. The two inside jump at your actions, but you ignore them and just walk away with utter disbelief.

Foot steps and yelling are heard behind you but you don’t stop. You continue walking, but then speeding up your pace passing the receptionist, who is confused yet concerned, and pass the two security guards with no expression.

Running to the open, vacant elevator you quickly wipe your tears and repeatedly abuse the close button to keep Namjoon from joining you. The image of him you get just before the door closes, is him running attempting to get the elevator door to open. You make sure to make eye contact with him just so he can see your pain.

You sniffle heavily while hanging your head low walking to your apartment. You could understand if it was one of the boys in the recording room. It doesn’t look like a great situation, but the girl did seem comfortable enough with him to sit on his desk. So that only leads you to think about how long has she been around him. The thoughts barricade your mind and before you know it you are face to face with someone standing directly on your doormat.

You dont bother to look up already knowing that body structure. Instead you try and shove past him to unlock your home, but there’s no use because next thing you know you’re being held by your upper arms standing in-front of him.

‘‘ Namjoon I don’t want to fucking talk about it.’’ You grumble, shoveling yourself out his arms quick enough to unlock your apartment enough for you to slide through and slam shut.

Knocks are loud on your door to cause some neighbors to wonder. Let them wonder they can scold him themselves for causing so much of a scene.

‘‘ Yn im coming in.’‘ He yells through the door.

You roll your eyes and stand a few feet from the door with your arms crossed on your chest. The door gives a charm letting him know the pin-code was correct. He shuffles in lightly through the door and closes it gently behind him. You stand there waiting for his explanation as you slowly walk towards him.

‘‘ Yn-’‘

Smack!

It felt good for your hand to connect with his cheek. How dare he disrespect the relationship of you two like this?

Namjoon holds his now sore, red cheek and gives you a serious look, ‘’ That was unnecessary. Let me fuckin expl-’’

Smack!.

Your nose flared in and out as you breathe heavily with your eyebrows furrowed in anger. ‘’ Another woman Kim Namjoon? You didn’t show up to our date because you were doing god knows what with another woman?”

Namjoon bites his lip hard as his eyes narrow, ‘’ Stop fucking smacking me. Let me got damn explain you brat!’’ He yells, pushing you to against the wall.

Your strength towards him was no match. You try to run away but he pins you back onto the wall. You were useless at this point.

‘‘ What’s your problem! Calm down!’‘ He semi-yells, grabbing your face to  make you look at him. You look at him, you look him dead straight in the eyes with anger all over you.

‘‘ Shut up. Shut the fuck up Namjoon. I planned the date to talk about everything happening but you don’t show up? Instead you were chatting it up with another girl.” You pause, ripping your arms away from him. “ That’s not a good look for you.”

Namjoon steps back, scoffing in disbelief. That only pisses you off even more, but you decide that it had been enough smacking him for the night. ‘‘ I wasn’t cheating if you think that. You and I both know I wouldn’t do that, right?”

You glare at him, ‘’I don’t know you fucking tell me.’’

That one single sentence sets him off. Trust is something you two really try to have with each-other but lately that’s been all over the place. Questioning his loyalty to him is like a stab in the back with a sharp, piercing knife. Namjoon puts his hands on his head in shock while walking towards the kitchen. You follow him because the last thing he was going to do to you, is ignore the entire fucking conversation.

The silence is rough. You sit yourself down on one of the island chairs as you watch him pour himself a glass of wine. The one you had bought from the restaurant. The way his jaw locks with a serious pout on his face lets you know, he has some choice words to say. That sharp tongue is just holding it in.

But did you over-react? Perhaps you did? Either way, it wasn’t a great scene to walk in on. Your man and another woman alone in his studio. You can’t help but to have reacted that way. Wouldn’t any other person would? It’s not that she was there, it was the way she was very comfortable around Namjoon to the point of doing what she did. She was also a person you had never met.

Namjoon puts the tip of the glass to his lips, making direct eye contact with you as he takes a long sip of wine. You roll your eyes at his dramatic action.

He clears his throat, ‘‘ Im still young. I have female friends and I have male friends. I would love to have time with them before you start barking up my ass.”

Barking up his ass?

‘‘ So you’re saying that all you were doing was having fun with her cause you’re still got damn young huh? Is that what i’m hearing Namjoon?’‘ That rage begins in your stomach again. Simmering in you like boiling water.

You continue, “ It’s like you just don’t care you left me at the fucking restaurant looking stupid right?”

‘‘ No I wasn’t having fun with her. You ran out without letting me explain, instead you were all dramatic throwing fucking food at my windows.”  The sound of the glass clinking against the counter-top is sharp. You wince at the sound of it.

Maybe you did over-react. But in your defense, you still had no idea who the girl was.

“Yn, how childish can you be right now? Did you ever think that me, one of the members of a worldwide known boy-group will be busy? Hmm? Yes, I should of told you that I couldn’t make it beforehand. I honestly thought I would be able to join you, but I overlooked my schedule wrong. That is my fault. The girl came because she was scheduled to work on our collaboration tonight with me.”

Oh gosh. The guilt takes over your body all at once. This was the last thing you wanted to happen. You really outdid yourself now. During all your rage and tantrum about this situation, you had failed to realize that you had indeed signed up to live this type of relationship with him. Of course he’d be busy, he’s an idol. Not once did you take his feelings and thoughts into consideration this entire time.

“ I don’t know Yn, I don’t know if we can continue our relationship together. You and I seem to be clashing a lot now-a-days. You questioning my loyalty really hurt me. We should think about taking a break, or ending things.”

Tears well in your eyes but you just let them fall. Those words you never wanted to hear ever. Sure couples clash with each-other, but isn’t that what makes them stronger? It’d be One year and a half down the drain if things were to go south now. Namjoon is a sweet guy, but your recent over-reacting scenes is becoming too much for him.

There goes that silence again. You two just sit there, not saying a word. The tension is thick as wood. This isn’t right. This won’t be right. Th emotions in you are running high. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Things were only said in the heat of the moment. You were tired of him always canceling and didn’t even bother to let him explain. This could of been handled better.

“ I’m sorry. It’s just that I’ve been wanting to spend time with you and you keep canceling on me Namjoon..”

He sighs, placing his now finished glass of wine in the sink. He runs his hands in his hair shaking his head again. “ I’m sorry for that. I should do a better job at telling you my schedule.”

It still hurts though. The way he said those words without hesitation. “ Do you.. still want us to take a break after this?”

“ I think that now that we understand each other a little more, we can work on being better together and not seperate.”

You’re happy to hear those words. Namjoon comes from behind the counter straight towards you where you were now standing beside the chair you were once sitting in. His arms snake around you and pull you into his chest, hugging you tightly. You sink into him, nuzzling your head into him with a small sigh.

“ I don’t like when we fight like this. You know I love you right? So much. So, so, much.” He whispers down to you. You nod your head in agreement. It’s something about being in his arms that soothe you.

You feel so complete with just the presence of him. He makes you happy, as you do him. Namjoon is understanding, caring, kind, and so much more to you. He was there for you on your worst days, and was there on your best days.

He plants a small kiss on your forehead, “ Let’s become better together yn. I want big plans for us in the future, and I don’t want to lose you.”

“ I want that for us too. I love you so much Namjoon. Even when things are bad for us, I care a lot about you.”

The butterflies in your stomach settle. Being in Namjoons arms is what home feels like to you. You’re secure and safe.

‘‘ Can you trust me next time? I promise from now on I will tell you in advance if I cannot participate instead of just leaving you wondering.‘

You nod your head, not caring about what he said but only caring about his embrace right now. The only thing you care about att he moment is him and his understanding.

‘‘ Can you trust me?’‘

[stardust-kenobi]

Mine

Poe Dameron x Fem!Reader

Requested by: @nocontr-ol 💕 sorry it took so long, lovely. I had finals and projects to focus on. (but now I am on break, yay!!)

Summary: A man won’t leave you alone at the cantina, lighting a fire in your boyfriend, Poe, who now needs to show you that you belong to him, and him only.

Warnings: Angry Poe. SMUT. So smutty, rough sex, oral, mild bondage, spanking, female masturbation. Poe cussing (bc it’s hot as fuck). !TW: Unwanted physical advances from a stranger!

Word count: 2.8k

A/N: it took me forever to finish this bc the end of the semester is here and I’m swamped with work. Poe’s behavior is probably a bit out of character...but I’d like to think he has a jealous side that we don’t see in the films

gif is not mine

The lights were dim on your skin as the exterior shine faded with the evening. Your crossed arms rested against the bar while you were alone with your drink and your thoughts. Poe was still within eyesight across the cantina, catching up with an old friend. Every minute or so his eyes darted to your gaze for a moment to ensure that you were where he left you, and that you were safe. You loved him and how deeply he cared for you.

You trace the top of your glass with your finger tip. Your ears drowned out the music blasting and voices crowding the room. You were known to get lost in your own mind when you were alone, something Poe always thought would get you in trouble. A figure meets your left sided peripheral vision. It must be Poe, you thought. Without verifying your thoughts, you turned to wrap your arms around him.

Oh, no. This isn’t Poe.

“Well I guess I don’t even need a pickup line then do I?” A strange and unfamiliar voice startled you as you look up at the figure. You quickly backed away, noticeably unsettled. You offered a warm smile and immediately reject him with a hint.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you were my boyfriend”

“I could be your boyfriend, sweetheart...for the night of course” the towering figure continued, chuckling at his own words, paying no attention to your disinterest.

“No thank you, I’ll just go meet up with my boyfriend now” you politely declined again. As you turn to walk away, the man grabs your arm aggressively, halting your actions.

“No, stay a while, I don’t bite” he winked.

“Again, no thank you” you snarled. This only seemed to intrigue him further. His grip refused to release you. You’d hoped Poe had already had a moment to check on you across the room again. You checked where he stood before, he wasn’t there.

“C’mon, I really want you. If you come back to my place I’ll definitely make it worth your time.” His words slurred now, suddenly obvious that he was drunk. That explained why he couldn’t take the biggest of hints.

“I dont know what else to say to you except go away. I’m not interested” you stood your ground, your warm and polite smile fading quickly. His hand removed itself from your arm and travelled forcefully to your waist. Acting on your instinct, you pulled away, but with not enough force to separate yourself. He pulled you into him, no matter how much you tried to free yourself.

“I don’t think I’m taking no for an answer. I like when women play hard to get” he whispered.

Before the stranger had a chance to bother you any more, his grip and his presence were ripped from your body and out of your field of vision when Poe shoved him off you with a look of rage so terrifying in his eyes.

“What did he say to you?” Poe turned to you.

“He wouldn’t leave me al-” you began. Poe cared little to hear your whole statement considering he already caught a glimpse of what occurred. He heard enough.

His fist tightened into a ball, flung back behind him, and plunged into the scumbag that harassed you. You gasped at his actions. The man became defenseless in his inebriation and fell to the cold and crowded floor.

“Poe!” You cried out to him to stop. His fist pulled back again, but stopped itself when he heard your protest. He looked at you, arm shaking, then looked at his knuckles in shock that he was about to actually beat this man.

“Don’t you ever fucking touch her, talk to her, or even look at her again, you got it?” He yelled. Jealously and rage rushed through his veins and made itself known in the tone of his voice. “She’s mine, asshole”. He shoved the man deeper into the floor. You knew you’d be lying if you didn’t admit that it was attractive to watch him defend you like that, and be so possessive of you at the same time. Overall, though, you were relieved to be rescued from the situation.

“Poe, baby, look at me” You demanded, grabbing his warm face, surely steaming from his evident anger.

“I think he got the point. Just leave it alone!” You protested.

“Let’s go” he ignored your words.

“What?”

“I said let’s go. Get your stuff, c’mon. We’re leaving” Poe emphasized, grabbing your bag from the bar and wrapping his arms firmly around your waist before leading you out with him.

“Hey! Stop it, Poe. Let go of me!” you hissed. The cold air struck your skin at the moment you both exited the cantina.

“I didn’t do anything”

“I know you didn’t. I saw what he did. But I am taking you home, now.” He insisted. His eyes were still so angry and this confused you. Poe said he wasn’t upset with you, so why was he so stern toward you? Why was he rushing to get home?

—-

When you arrived to his place, Poe slammed the front door open with an unnecessary strength and guided you inside with a hand on your back. Swiftly, you both removed your coats and hung them by the door. You’d not said one word to each other since leaving the cantina. At this point, you were scared to speak to him.

“Are you okay?” you broke the sharp silence hesitantly while Poe leaned against the kitchen counter, arms crossed, and his gaze directed at nothing but the thoughts running through his head.

Rather than answering your question, he slowly moves over to you across the room where you leaned against the wall. He placed both hands above your head on the wall and brought his face incredibly close to yours.

“You know, I’d hoped I wouldn’t see the day when another man tried to take you from me” He began softly “But, tonight...I had to watch that happen”

“Poe I was going to get away from hi-” You started, only to be cut off.

“No, no. I know that, baby. I do...but I don’t know what I’ll do with myself if I don’t take you, right now, and give you a little reminder...that you are mine”. The coarseness in his whisper against your ear sent shivers and excitement all throughout your body.

You were speechless, and he noticed.

“Do you know how it felt to see his hands tightened around your waist? Do you know what that did to me?” His voice was rough, but barely broke a whisper.

“W-what did it do, Poe?” You inquired. You were turned on by his behavior and he hadn’t even touched you yet. His hand met your throat and applied pressure, pushing you back into the wall.

“It lit a fire in me, y/n. Jealously that I’d never felt before” he growled. “And now I have to put that fire out”

“Okay” you agreed, still mostly speechless from hearing Poe talk to you like this.

“Now you’re gonna go take your clothes off, all of it, lay on the bed, and wait for me” he demanded. You’d not dare tell him no, you were too excited for what he was going to do.

You obeyed his commands and remove all your clothes before laying flat on your back atop the comfortable bed. Minutes later you heard his footsteps approach the bedroom. As he came into view, you observed his stance. He had his buttoned down shirt open at the top, and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He held a glass of whiskey in his hand, swirling it before finishing it off, never breaking his gaze at your naked body.

He groaned quietly at the sight. You smirked at him, but his gaze remained stern, as it had since you left the cantina.

“Fuck. You’re perfect, y/n” he admired your body while you were on display for him. Only for him.

After resting his glass on the table, he removed his black leather belt. Rather than throwing it to the floor. He placed it gently next to you on the bed. What was that for? You wondered.

His shirt followed the belt, but was dropped to the floor. He stood there, in the same spot, still staring at you, now with only his black pants clinging to him. You admired his chest, wanting it closer to you.

“Poe...” you called to him

“Touch yourself” He instructed. You wasted no time, spreading your legs open to give him a better view. Your fingers found their way to your clit and began circular motions that made your body jump from your already heightened arousal.

“That’s it” he encouraged you. “Enjoy it while you can, you won’t be touching yourself for the rest of the night. You won’t be touching anything, actually”

You gasped, realizing now that he had many intentions for the belt that he left next to you. You continued to pleasure yourself for him, small moans escaping your lips for Poe to hear. He licked his lips subtly, eyebrows furrowed. He was so ready to get a taste of you but made himself wait so he could enjoy the show.

It was as if he couldn’t handle NOT touching you anymore when he walked toward the bed and grabbed the belt aggressively.

“Turn around, lay on your stomach” he said, and you do as he commanded.

The clinking of the metal on the belt grabbed your attention. You were unable to see what was happening, but you had an idea.

“Hands behind you”

Poe placed his knees on either side of your ass and grabbed your wrists together. With the belt in the shape of an 8, both your wrists are placed in each side before he quickly tightens it around them. With your hands bound behind your back, you were at his mercy.

He backed up, and pulled your hips up and backward with him. With the side of your face planted into the bed and your ass in the air, Poe was given open access to your very sensitive, already dripping sex. His fingertips circled your wetness and without much warning, he plunged two of them inside of you from behind. You gasped loudly, not expecting him yet.

“My god, you’re so wet for me already” he reveled, groaning at the feeling of your soaked warmth around his fingers. He curled them inside you, pumping at a steady pace.

“Fuck, Poe” you whimpered from your pleasure.

“You like that?” He said softly, barely above a whisper. Then, you feel the sudden sensation of his tongue against your clit with his fingers still working away inside you.

“S-shit” you moaned, the pleasure grew significantly.

Your arms squirmed as you wanted the ability to reposition yourself. The frustration of being restricted was arousing to you, something you didn’t know you liked until now. His tongue lapped between your folds and circled your clit rhythmically, his consistency pushing you to the edge already.

“Poe I’m gonna cum” you announced. He knew how to make you cum quickly and knew not to change anything about what he was doing.

“Oh my god, Yes” You moaned. You fell apart so gracefully onto his mouth and around his digits. Your orgasm flooded your body and somehow felt more intense at the arched angle he had you in. Your arms involuntarily squirmed again, wanting to grasp something in your state of euphoria. He noticed, and used his unoccupied hand to grab your bonded hands resting on your tailbone, a gesture that in the moment was so romantic.

As he picked up on your signals that you had fallen from your high, he removes his touch. You could see from your peripheral vision that he took his fingers into your mouth, savoring your taste.

“Now I have to show you who this pussy really belongs to” he purred in your ear, leaning down next to your face. Your body tingled, eager for him to take you.

He brushed the tip of his length against your sensitivity, causing your body to jolt. He softly chuckled, planning to tease you further. Poe circled your clit softly with the tip before pushing himself inside you only slightly, and removing himself again.

“Poe, please.” You begged.

“Please what baby?”

“Please fuck me” you pleaded. He slammed into you upon your request and relentlessly thrusted without time for you to adjust. You whimpered loudly, feeling a painful discomfort that slowly transformed to pleasure for you.

“Oh baby you feel so good....you’re so fucking tight” he breathed through his efforts. He ceased his thrusting and held himself inside you, completely buried. Your arched position allowed his length to press against a new angle in your walls. You whined as that new feeling was already overwhelming, almost too much with his size.

Your noises were mostly muffled from your face being pressed into the mattress. He wanted to hear you. He needed to hear your euphoric noises.

Poe’s hands moved from grabbing your hips to your shoulders and lifted you up from the bed. He did this both to expose your lips to release your moans as well as to use you as leverage to fuck you deeper.

He made no attempt to be quiet and exerted all his sweet moans into the air, turning you on by his voice alone. As he thrusted harder, he picked up his speed as well.

Poe suddenly wrapped one hand around your throat, causing you to struggle for air. He pulled you up and back, bringing his mouth to your ear.

“Who does this pussy belong to? Whose is it?” He growled in your ear.

“I-it’s yours” you managed to mumble

“Speak up”

“It’s yours, P-Poe” you moaned louder.

“That's right. This pussy is mine. No one else can fuck you, only me” he continued. “You got that?”

“Yes” you breathlessly whined.

He released his grip on you, and pressed your head back down onto the bed. You wanted so badly to touch yourself while he pounded into you, but your wrists remained bound together. It was as if he had read your mind when he reached around your hips to massage your clit. Your breathing hitched at the sudden sensation. 

“Look at you, taking my cock so well, baby girl” He purred. “So fucking pretty”

Poe’s moaning grew rougher and deeper as he approached his orgasm. The palm of his hand suddenly struck your ass, you pleasantly winced at the feeling. It was followed by several more, each hurting and stinging your skin more deliciously than the previous slap. He released something resembling a growl at the sight of your skin turning a cherry red from him striking you. 

The pleasure you experienced became overwhelming. Poe repositioned himself slightly, hitting deeper inside your walls, you could barely take it. Your eyes watered at the intensity of your ecstasy and you cried his name.

“Poe, yes, fuck. It feels so good” you whimpered.

“Yeah? You little slut, you love that shit don’t you?” He snarled.

“I’m gonna cum inside you, y/n...as another reminder to you, that you’re mine” He grunted through his choppy breathing. His thrusts became less rhythmic. He fell apart and you felt his cum fill you completely. He groaned loudly through his orgasm, and gripped your hips firmly through the intensity of his high.

“Fuck” Poe breathed, still buried inside you. Your body ached from the tense position you’d been in the entire time. After removing himself, he immediately worked to free your wrists.

“Gotta get these off of you”

Finally, a sweet feeling of relief overcame you with the returned access to your arms. You turned to lay flat on your back, catching your breath in the process.

“I’ll get you some water” Poe sweetly announced, before getting up, putting on sweatpants, and leaving the room.

You smiled warmly to yourself, loving the type of attention you received tonight. Poe returned with a glass of water, sitting next to you on the bed. He made sure you got plenty of hydration after the heavy breathing you exerted.

“Feeling okay?” Poe inquired.

“Yeah, just worn out right now” you chuckled.

There was silence for a moment while both of you settled down.

“I won’t leave you like that again. I’m sorry” he broke the silence, changing the subject. This confused you.

“What?”

“At the cantina. I’m sorry I left you alone for that long. That guy would’ve never had the chance to tou-”

“That wasn’t your fault, Poe.” You interrupted. “He was just an asshole. You know I can handle myself” you reminded him.

“Oh, trust me, I know you can defend yourself, y/n, but I still want to protect you when I can”

“You did more than enough...in more ways than one” you giggled.

“I love you, y/n” he abruptly expressed

You smile widely like an idiot, barely able to keep eye contact with him.

“I love you, Poe”

“You drink up. I’m going to get you a bath running” he says before planting a tender kiss on your perspired forehead.

It was impossible not to fall deeper in love with him every day.

[antigoneidk]

can you do a tom x reader where they are dating but no one knows yet until Harrison, the twins, Tuwaine all have their suspicions so they planned to flirt and throw compliments at her during dinner together in the pub to get a reaction out of Tom and he gets super jealous and upset during the whole thing until he finally snaps?

Weird|t.h.

A/N : I loved this request!also I'm dumb and I didn't see the location so I'm sorry:)

Warnings : language(not that much dont be surprised)

_

"Babe they do not know. Trust me"you said to your boyfriend through the phone making your voice higher. You let out a breath and closed your eyes.

"It's just the pressure of the media I don't think i can handle. I just want you all to myself"he said with honesty and you knew that too. You wanted to scream to everyone that you were in love with him but you had to respect his decision. And he was right after all.

The boys didn't have a clue for the two of you and that really made you happy. Maybe it was better that way. The relationship was adventurous trying to hide from the others,sneaking little kisses in the other rooms,go to places out of town where no one could find you. It was fun and exciting. Not that it wouldn't if the others knew but sometimes is better to keep things in private for a while so that your love can grow stronger.

"Okay I have to go. I'll see you in twenty minutes"your boyfriend said as you both heard the door bell ring.

"Okay. I love you"

"I love you too"he hang up and you smiled as you threw your phone to your bed and started getting ready to hang out with the boys at Tom's house.

You rang the bell waiting outside with a big smile on your face. As you were about to hop to your boyfriend's hug you realized that he wasn't the one you were waiting for.

"Sam"your voice got higher from the little disappointment you got.

"Hello y/n"you hugged him and walked inside the house. You greeted the other ones who were sitting in the living room. You sat next to Tuwaine and joined their conversation.

"How are you crazy girl?"he laughed and leaned to you.

"I'm doing great" you tried to find Tom around the area but he was nowhere to be found.

"Your outfit is pretty cute today y/n. Did you went on a date?"he said raised his eyebrows and you couldn't help but laugh at him.

"No no! It's for you guys" specifically for Tom but as it seemed he wouldn't any time soon. You were curious for his reaction.Suddenly you heard his voice from the kitchen.

"Guys you can come if you want to"the four of you,Harrison, Tuwaine and the twins,stood up and made your way to the room. Everything smelled amazing and looked appetizing. Tom winked at you from across the table as you were filling your plate with everything that was on it.

He didn't notice your outfit and that made you a little bit sad.

"Someone's hungry"he joked but you were too busy enjoying your food to deal with him.

"y/n your hair looks great. Not that they usually don't but today oh God"Sam said to you as he placed his head to his right hand admiring the way your hair looked.

"Thank you Sam that's really sweet"you smiled towards him and kept eating.

"Bro only her hair? Look at that face. I'm surprised you're still single"Harrison looked at you in a way you found really weird. Only how beautiful a face is mattered to him?

"If someone is going to date anybody just for the appearance,then is a completely idiot"you drank from your glass and watched your boyfriend giving his best friend a death stare.

"No he doesn't mean that. You are a lovely person y/n. You are adorable, funny,a person you can have fun with. It's just that you look hot and that's why we are surprised that nobody hasn't approached you yet"Harry apologized for his friend and moved closer to you.

"You think I'm hot?"you asked him laughing at his words. That was really weird.Well deep down you enjoyed. You wanted to know Tom's thoughts about this. If you could only read minds...

"Yes and I am not the only one. All of us think you are. Right guys?"they all nodded their heads except Tom,who kept eating. By the way he was standing there silent,you knew that he was mad at them.

"Tom?"

"What?"he asked after he swallowed,giving Harry a weird look.

"Don't you think she's hot?"he asked and all of you waited for his reply. You wanted to feel bad and you had to. Was that making you the bad guy now?

"She is fine"he finally said and you didn't know how to feel at that moment. Maybe he didn't want to make them suspicious about your relationship but he could have said something.

"Oh come on now. Really?"he asked his brother frustrated. Why they were acting like that?

"Harry calm down"you tried to calm him down by touching his hand. He looked at you and then again at his older brother.

"Anyway I just wanted to know that we are all finding you an attractive woman"he finally said and squeezed your hand.

"Thank you Harry. Now can we change the topic?"you asked all of them and that seemed to work as you started to talk about each others plans for the week. Tom remained silent the entire dinner,even though you tried to make him talk.

When you all had finished,you wanted to help Tom clean so you stood up from your chair and picked the empty plates. As you turned around,you heard a whisper coming from the table.

"I hope that was for my ass Harrison"Tom,next to you finally spoke making all of them laugh,including you. You gave him a smile and continued your job. At least he wasn't mad anymore.

You were now back in the living room,sitting next to Harrison and Tom enjoying your glass of wine and chatting with the others.

"So you're telling me that you don't like 'The Notebook'? One of the greatest romantic movies?"you asked Sam shocked at his statement.

"She could have escaped and stay with him from the beginning. The rest was a unnecessary drama"

"Oh come on now how dare you?"you asked and he started laughing louder and louder.

"You are so cute when you're mad oh my"he said and kept laughing. What was that about now?

"Only when she is mad Sam? She looks adorable every second"Harry responded to his twin brother winking at you. What's wrong with them today? They couldn't just stop?

You felt the boy next to you changing his position a little. And again he was mad. He couldn't just say something to them? Deep down you wanted to stop them and kiss you in front of them. But you both knew he wouldn't do it.

"Aww guys look she her cheeks turned red"Tuwaine said from the other side of the couch you were sitting on. Your thoughts distracted you from the fact that you started to blush.All of them started making fun of you by grabbing their cheeks and making funny-cute faces. But again Tom stayed still looking at them curious. You gave him a side smile and turned back to the rest of them laughing at their,unexpected for this day, entertaining side.

"You look like idiots"you said immediately all stopped.

"What did she just said to us?"Harrison asked the rest of the boys as he kept coming closer to you. All of the sudden you felt uncomfortable,something new. You never felt that way with them. Maybe it was from their unordinary behavior you just couldn't explain.

And that's when all of them jumped to you and started tickling every inch of your body,making you burst into laughter. Some of them keeping you still and the others tickling you. Your laugh was louder that you expected. Tears fell from your eyes and even though everyone saw them none of them cared to clean them.

"STOP"you heard a yell and the torture for you came to an end. But they did not move from their positions.

"What is your deal man?"Tuwaine asked your angry boyfriend next to you.

"My deal is that I can handle this anymore. You guys have been weird from the moment you stepped here today.I've seen the way all of you look at her and I hear the compliments you give her and I am sorry to tell you this but we are dating guys. For a couple of months now. So if you could just back off from her"he said it. He finally said it. And you looked at him with your heart beating faster than ever. His eyes met yours as he leaned towards you giving you a kiss. You touched his hair and pulled him more close to you. Your tongue met his and the game for the two of you started. Although four boys were watching,you didn't care.

"Finally"a scream forced you to stop and look at the others giving high fives to one another and clapping at the two of you.

"What do you mean finally?"you asked Harrison completely clueless. They did not..

"We knew and that's why we did this today. We don't want you guys to hide from us in the other rooms"he said and sat next to you with a big smile on his face.

"How?"

"I saw you once kissing in that bathroom without the door closed that's how we found out"he continued and you turned more to him shocked. You didn't know what to say at all. But your boyfriend did.

"Well now that you know can you fuck off so that I can spent time with her alone? You did your part"

"Tom"you said and stopped him. He didn't have the right to do such a thing. They were his friends.

"What? They tested my patience"

"No they are not leaving Tom. Guys stay he is now being annoying"you apologized for him. Why he had to be an asshole?

"Well I can kiss you now without any excuses to leave"he said and grabbed your face leaving kisses everywhere. Yes you weren't mad anymore.

"They will never stop"

No we wouldn't.

_______

hope enjoyed it❣

[nad-zeta]

Hi! Can i ask for an hc where mc doesnt show much emotion? Like, her mom would gets mad at her when she cried, saying things like 'you dont have anything to be sad about' eventually mc didnt show emotions much in fear no one would care and fear of everyone is just putting up with her? She would break down alone. Im sorry, this is one placei can think of to have my heart comforted. I would be thankful for all warlords, if cant, i would like nobunaga, mitsuhide, kenshin,shingen and hideyoshi. TY💕

Hi love! Sorry for taking sooo long with this HC (>ლ)! I hope you are doing well! Sending you all the loves and hugs (´∩｡• ᵕ •｡∩`) ♡ ! And just know for anyone who needs to hear this... that its okay to show emotions, no one is going to think less of you, and trust me when I say there are people who care about you and would be there for you to wipe away every tear and listen to every complaint during your breakdowns! You are not alone dear! And for all those who feel like they have no one and need to vent I'm always here for ya loves (◍•ᴗ•◍)♡ ✧*。 don't be shy to pop me a message even if ya just wanna chat (◕‿◕✿)

Okay so onto the headcanon, thanks so much for the request dear! I hope you have a wonderful day and I hope you enjoy it! ❤🌼

Headcanon: MC afraid of showing emotion/too scared to cry in front of Nobunaga, Kenshin, Hideyoshi and Mitsuhide 

Nobunaga

Nobunaga absolutely loved you (｡◕‿◕｡)

He loved everything about you, from the way you walked to the cute way you scrunched up your nose when you laugh, EVERYTHING

When it came to emotions the two of you didn’t show much to the world but when your were together it was easy to drop the mask and be yourself

Except, what Nobunaga didn’t know was that you had to endure years of mental and emotional abuse from your mom

As a child you never cried cause, heaven forbid, that tear slip from your eye in front of her, all hell would break loose

(┛ಠДಠ)┛彡┻━┻

She would lose her shit and scream at you that she would give you something to cry about if you did not stop

As of late you have been feeling a little down, and you were finding it harder and harder to push down those feelings bubbling up inside

You quickly retired to a secluded part of the garden, and made your way to your favourite bench

You weren’t even sitting there 2 seconds and the tears started to stream down your face  (ಥ﹏ಥ)

Gosh if your mother could see you now she would have a field day

Nobunaga’s meeting had ended early, and he was eager to spend some time with his beloved fireball (◠‿◠✿)

He spotted you sitting in your favourite spot in the garden and made his way towards you

As he got closer he heard and saw something he had never in the year of knowing you, seen or heard before

YOU WERE CRYING

He was by your side in a flash

He crouched down in front of you and took both your hands in his

“Tell me fireball, what is the matter, I will make the problem disappear in an instant.”

What Nobunaga didn’t expect was that you would remove your hands from his and cover your face. “I'm fine, don't worry about me.”

“You cannot lie to me my dear queen, now tell me why do you insist on hiding your pain from me, have you already forgotten you are mine and I am yours. Our hearts beat as one. So tell me fireball what had burdened that sweet heart of yours”, Nobungas voice was as demanding as ever, but it held a kind and comforting warmth and in his eyes, you could see nothing but love and worry for you

You had told him the reason you never cry or show emotion to the outside world and in an instant you were in Nobunaga’s arms being carried to his room

He gently cradled you face in his hands and whispered against your lips “I am not your mother and to me you can cry freely” he then kissed you

It was a kiss filled with so much love and emotion

“Whenever something is troubling your fireball or whenever you feel like crying come to me, so I can kiss away your tears.”  (っ˘з(˘⌣˘ )

Nobunaga spent the rest of that night showing you just how much he loved and adored you (¬‿¬)

Mitsuhide

He saw the look on your face during the banquet

The way your mask had faltered and slipped for a split second (¬_¬)

He knew you were hiding something from him, a painful detail of your past

He told himself he would wait, wait for you to open up to him on your own, but the look you had on your face during the banquet was breaking his sneki boi heart  （>﹏<）

He could see you bite your lip in frustration to keep the tears from falling

He knows you had, had a long week, there was always so much work for everyone to do when important daimyos came to visit

As princess of the Oda forces, it was your job to keep the cups of the guests full, however these were particularly nasty guests, who had flung rude comment towards you for the whole duration of their stay

And TBH Mitsuhide was getting sick of it, in fact, all the warlords were fuming on your behalf (ಠ ∩ಠ)

Mitsuhide stalked over to Nobunaga and whispered something in his ear, out of the corner of your eyes, you saw him give a small nod

Mitsuhide in a flash was now beside you, he gently took the bottle of sake from your hands and placed it on the table

He then carefully took hold of your wrist and lead you out of the banquet hall

He leads you onto the balcony and closed the doors to give the two of you some privacy

Golden eyes stared down at you, he could see it in your eyes, the pain and sadness you felt, his heart broke at the sight of your quivering lips tying to chock down and mask your emotions  ( ͡ಥ ͜ʖ ͡ಥ)

You tried to say that you were fine, but the second you moved your lips to speak a tear slipped out from the corner of your eye

You turned around and covered you face with your hands repeating over and over how sorry you were  (つд⊂)

“Please, Mitsu, please don’t hate me.”

Mitsuhides heart broke, hate you? Why he loved you more than anything in the world

He snaked his arms around your waist and rested his head on your shoulders whispering in your ears “Why would I ever hate you, my dearest little mouse, for you are my light in this dark world, you are my soulmate and the keeper of my heart. I could never ever, ever hate you little one.”

He gently turned you around in his arms and rested his forehead on yours

He gave your nose a little kiss, an action which makes you chuckle a little

(/‿＼✿)

“My dearest little one, would you dare to tell me, why it is that I would ever hate someone as wonderful as you” he said while nuzzling his nose against yours

You hid your face in the crook of his neck and took in his warm scent, and quietly muttered what your mother had been telling you your whole life

Mitsuhide quietly listened, taking in every word, dropping smalled kisses on your cheek and hair   (´•ω•｀)♡

His tightened his embrace on you the second you mentioned that you were scared that he would hate and leave you if you cried in front of him, or cause him unnecessary trouble 

When your story was done Mitsuhide cradled your cheeks in his hands, he urged you up to meet his eyes, he then kissed your forehead, nose and finally lips  (っ˘з(˘⌣˘ )

“My dear, you have been caught by a kitsune, and I’m afraid you can never leave, I will never hate or feel inconvenienced by you, my dear, and I would never leave you. To me crying or showing emotion isn’t a sign of weakness; it is a strength. You have no need to fear showing your emotions around me, my love, especially the sad and bad ones, for wherever you are feeling down, I will wrap you in my arms just like this” and as he said that, he moved to snake his arms around your waist once more, and leaned in close to whisper in your ear, ”And then I will do this”

He then started to shower your face, neck and shoulders in small ticklish kisses, while his hands moved to tickle your sides (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

You bust out into laughter “Stop Mitsu, haha, mercy, haha, mercy.”

He then gave your lips one final kiss and traced his fingertips on your tear-stained cheeks

“I truly love you, my dear, please never hide your emotions from me again.”  (/^-^(^ ^*)/

Kenshin

Kenshin was away fighting and you were left with Sasuke and Yuki to hold down the fort

You were feeling a little sad and upset lately and you were definitely missing the bunny warlord (⁎˃ᆺ˂)

You were hanging out with Yuki and Sasuke at one of the tea houses and you just couldn’t shake the feelings of loneliness and sadness

You could feel your eyes begin to sting, and you knew you needed to get away (つд⊂)

You quickly excused yourself and said that you weren’t feeling well

Sasuke and Yukimura gave each other a worried look

“Should we go after her?” “I think its best if we leave her be, besides I heard lord Kenshin will be home this afternoon”, they gave each other a nog and continued to chat over tea

You wandered back to the castle, your heart was feeling heavy, you kept your tears in until you made it to your room

You walked through the door of your and Kenshin’s shared room and the second the door closed behind you you bust into tears

‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

You slid down the door and curled yourself up into a ball and cried

How many time have you done this before, quietly breaking down and sobbing in the silence of your room  ๐·°(৹˃̵﹏˂̵৹)°·๐

Careful not to make a sound, even though your mother was 500 years in the future, the words she would say to you when she caught you crying, stilled ringed in your ears

“Stop it, you silly girl, or I'll give you something to cry about. If you keep it up no one will like you. No one likes people who cry they are annoying. If you don’t learn to toughen up, you will never have any friends.” ☜(`o´)

You covered your ears hoping to block out the noise

Kenshin had come back early and quickly made his way to your shared room to change

He was so excited to see his little bunny

He heard the door of your room open and shut

He was about to step out from behind the changing screen to surprise you, when he heard the sound of your soft whimpers  ∑(ΦдΦlll

His heart broke into pieces, why were your crying, how dare hurt his beloved goddess of war, whoever caused his beloved upset will pay with their lives  ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿

He strode out from behind the changing screen to see you huddled into a small ball with your hand covering your ears  (ノ′Дヾ)

He quietly made his way up to you and before you knew it you were enveloped in his warmth ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

He held you tight pressing your head into his chest

“Hush, my little bunny, I’m home, what has caused you so much grief, for I vow to cut down anyone who dare hurt the love of my life.”

You tried to calm yourself down, to stop crying but the more you tried to put a lid back on your emotions the more they came pouring out

You and Kenshin had a very open and honest relationship and just as you have destroyed and chased away his demon, it is now his turn to do the same for you

He soothingly pulled his fingers through your hair and kissed the top of your head “It’s okay, I’m here, I’m here, you are okay, just listen to the sound of my heartbeat”

When you managed to calm down a little you told him about your mother and how you were never allowed to cry as a child, as that was perceived as weakness  (つ﹏<)･ﾟ｡

Kenshin simply remained silent as you hiccuped your way through the story, he traced soothing circles on your back as you continued to speak and he gave you a few small pecks to encourage you to keep going

The bunnies must have sensed that you were feeling down as sometime during your story, an avalanche of fluff huddled around the two of you

Each nuzzling their little noses against you as if to try and comfort you in their own way  

(ㅇㅅㅇ❀)

“My love your mother is wrong, it is not a weakness to cry or show emotion and no one will think less of you if you do.”

He then like his bunnies started nuzzling his nose into your hair and kissed the top of your head “I love you with my whole heart and soul, did you already forget the promise we made my love.”

Kenshin gently wiped away the few remaining tears and kissed the tip of your nose

“Ahh I see my sweet goddess of war has forgotten,.” He rested his forehead on yours and gave you a little Eskimo kiss

“Remember when I was still battling with the demons in my head, we made a.. what do you call it again… a yes, a pinky promise… to always hold and listen to one another problems, to envelop each other in a comforting embrace, to face all challenges together and to love each other for eternity no matter what.

Kenshin the gave you the biggest brightest smile and carried you to the futon where the two of you spent the rest of the day cuddled in each other’s arms and surrounded by the love of your fluff army 

♡｡ﾟ.(*♡´‿` 人´‿` ♡*)ﾟ♡ °・

Hideyoshi

You were having a horrible day

Everything just seemed to be going wrong

As you started walking back to Hideyioshi’s manor, Nobunaga could sense something was off, so he dragged you with him on one of his candy runs

THB the candy did lift your spirits, but all of that was in vain the second your lover stepped into the kitchen, to catch you and Nobu crunching down on candy

When you turned to look, Nobunaga was gone without a trace leaving you to deal with being lectured on your own

As Hideyoshi lectured you about sugar and the dangers of eating too much of it, all the memories and troubles of the day started coming back and burdening your heart

You could feel the tears start to well up and your throat start to constrict

You needed to get out of there

Halfway through the lecture, you started running, you didn’t want Hideyoshi to see you cry, you didn’t want to burden him with your feelings

ᕕ(ಥʖ̯ಥ)ᕗ

And you most definitely didn’t want to trouble him

You ran all the way back home locking yourself in your shared room

Hideyoshi knocked on the door, to your shared bedroom ಠ╭╮ಠ

You forgot that you had a spare key in the pot pant down the hall

Hideyoshi slowly made his way into the room

He saw you in the corner of the room hugging your legs, tear streaming down your face 

｡･ﾟﾟ･(>д<)･ﾟﾟ･｡

“I’m sorry if I was a little harsh on you love, most of that lecture was actually meant for Nobunaga”, Hideyoshi made his way towards you and eyed you apologetically

Although the second you locked eyes with Hideyoshi, he could see that it was more than just the lecture on your mind

He sat down beside you and pulled you into his lap  (>^_^)><(^o^<)

“Tell me what’s bothering you love, I may not always be able to read your expressions very well, but I can always tell when something is bothering you”

You had told him of your past and why you don’t give away much with your facial expressions 

(つ﹏⊂)

“You know you can always come to me with any problem right, I would never judge you for crying or showing emotion.”

You gave Hideyoshi a small nod, but his MOTHER MODE had been activated and he was now determined to do whatever it took to bring that smile back to your face (◕‸ ◕✿)

He picked you up and walked you to the bathroom where the two of you had a nice warm bubble bath together

He then cooked you your favourite meal and held you in his arms the entire night (◕‿◕✿)

That night in his arms you allowed yourself to cry, you had bottled up your emotions for so long, but with Hideyoshi, you felt safe.

You allowed yourself to show him you every sadness and insecurity, and he accepted all of it ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

He would sit and listen to you while gently rubbing your back

Whenever new tears would stream down your face, he wipes them away leaving a trail of kisses in their wake

Finally, with Hideyoshi, you allowed yourself to drop the mask and show your true emotions, as you felt safe and warm and his arm, and most importantly with Hideyoshi, you always felt loved (⺣◡⺣)♡*

Thanx for the request love! I hope you enjoyed it! (*^.^*)

[guardianofjunmyeon]

Finding Atlantis (part 7)

Genre: Action/Adventure, Enemies to Lovers, PirateAU

Description:   20 years ago the seas became angry. Unruly and unkind to any sailor, to  any ship that dared venture too far out in her waters. Many a man has  heard the tales of Atlantis, the lost city, the key the ocean. But  fewer  men know the tale of it’s missing child. The key to the ocean, the key  to Atlantis but a lost little one. The power one would hold should they  find this child would be nearly that of Poseidon himself. Thus, the hunt  began.    

A/N: Sorry it took so long for an update but i was kind of pissed off at baekhyun and exo for their lack of BLM support but whatever now. I’ve received you guys’ messages and asks and I keep meaning to respond to things but i really dont get on tumblr all that often. I really love and appreciate you all though so here’s a pretty...cute chap

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18

Darkness. Suffocation. Cold. Not breathing. He’s not breathing. He’s not breathing.

You’re not breathing.

You sit up with a start. “Baekhyun!” You gasp for air. Your chest heaves as you frantically try to breathe. The image of Baekhyun’s unmoving body begins to fade from your memory like a dream you can’t fully recall. Darkness makes way for the brightness that you are beginning to realize surrounds you. You don’t feel seasick; your body is still.

Panting, you look around.

A beach. Your heartbeat slows down when you realize that you’re sitting on a beach, alive. Alive and safe and the boat is pulled ashore.

But you can’t find Baekhyun. Panic rises again.

“You’re awake.” You hear from behind you.

You whip around, and there he is. Baekhyun stands on both of his feet, shirtless with an armful of wood.

And both of his god damn eyes.

Pain unexpectedly shoots up your middle. You groan loudly and lower yourself back down on your back. It doesn’t feel as intense like this. “Fuck,” you hiss in agony.

“You fractured your rib,” Baekhyun says, now at your side. You look at him through squinted eyelids. “It’s not broken, and it’ll heal on its own. You’ve just got to take it easy for a while,” he instructs you softly. You catch a glimpse of concern in his eyes.

His fucking two eyes.

“You’ve got more than one eye…” you croak dumbly. With each inhale of breath the pain begins to subside.

He blinks and the concern that you think you saw vanishes. “Yeah, and you’ve got fractured bones. Now we’ve both stated the obvious.”

He stands up and walks off while you struggle to sit up without experiencing more shooting pains. It doesn’t work out well; any move to raise your body sends another painful jolt through your body. From experience, you can tell that it’s your lower left rib that’s injured. That’s where you experience the most pain. Breathing doesn’t hurt; you chalk it up to luck that you didn’t puncture a lung in the process. In…all of that.

Your throat begins to close up at the memory. The rain. The waves. The cold.

He’s not breathing.

A decently sized canteen drops into your lap. You jump in your spot. “You’re dehydrated,” is all Baekhyun says before he walks off again.

You follow his retreating figure with your eyes. “Thanks,” you rasp to yourself.

Surprising yourself, you’re glad to see that he’s fine. That he’s alive despite the years you’ve spent wishing him dead.

It takes a bit of time, and a lot of moaning and hissing, to open the canteen. You nearly cry when you’re finally able to feel the water sliding down your throat. You drink it greedily.

What if this is all the water you’ve got?

You stop and pull the lip of it away from your mouth. You drank half of it in just 3 seconds.

“You can finish it,” you hear Baekhyun say from where he’s crouched by the wood. “There’s more on the island, we won’t go thirsty for a while.”

Without further hesitation you drain the rest. You’re still thirsty, but at least now you can talk, and maybe even stand without passing out. Like a baby learning to walk on its own, you slowly lift your body off the ground and on to your knees.

Baekhyun watches you closely, but does nothing to help. Once you’ve caught your breath again and are comfortably sitting on your knees, he stands up. He pulls on his shirt and then starts in the direction of the tree line. He pauses, turns to you and jerks his head towards the trees. A silent beckoning.

With a breath to prep you for the pain, you force yourself on your legs.

After only a few seconds of dizziness, your visions clears and you take careful steps in his direction.

Baekhyun waits until you’re only a step behind him to start walking forward again. There seems to be a clear path to wherever he’s leading you. You’re thankful that you don’t have to duck and dodge branches with your fractured rib.

Actually, the more you think about it, the path is suspiciously cleared of obstructions. You frown and look around. It’s clear as day that branches have been broken off recently. Maybe Baekhyun was going to use it for the fire?

You squint at the ground and see broken pieces of tree along the ground. So, not firewood. Path wood?

Why would he need to do that when he can just push them out of the way? The ground is flat even without the branches he’d torn down. It seems kind of unnecessary.

Your foot catches on a divot in the ground and your body stumbles half a step too far just fast enough to cause a pain to shoot up your side. You bite back a pathetic whine and notice belatedly that Baekhyun is hovering right at your side anxiously. Your eyes water instinctively at the smarting in your torso.

You let out a shaky breath and straighten up. “Fuck.”

He frowns.

“We’re almost there.” A beat of silence. And then, “Watch your step dumbass.”

Your rib prevents you from fighting back. You don’t think you would really want to even if you could. You trod behind him dutifully. The forest is full with the sounds of life, but the conversation between the two of you is dead. Painfully so.

“How long have you been awake?” you ask to fill the silence.

“A few hours. I looked around the island while you were unconscious.”

You hum. You wonder whether the boat washed up on its own or if he rowed here in your sleep.

To your surprise he continues on. “It’s an old prison island from the looks of it. I came across the jail and a bunker when I was gathering firewood.”

“Were there people in the prison?”

“Not living ones.”

“Gross.”

Silence.

“Thanks…by the way,” he says gently. Oh? Is that…a thank you you’ve heard?

“What was that?” you goad.

“Don’t make me say it again…”

“Do you mean for saving your life? Are you thanking me for that? For being a heroic, brave, sexy, strong-”

“I should have thrown your body into the ocean when I woke up.”

You laugh softy, carefully. If you breathe too hard then your rib smarts again.

“How’s your rib doing?” he asks.

“Hurts.”

“Okay smartass-”

“I’m serious!”

A beat.

“How are your stitches?” you ask.

“Hurts.”

“Listen here-”

He laughs. A full one. A bright one.

You shuffle behind holding back a smile. A building comes into view after a few minutes of walking. He was right; it’s obviously an old prison if the dreariness of it is anything to go by. It’s a small one. You follow him through broken doors, barely hanging onto their last hinge.

It reeks of death.

A chill runs down your spine.

Avoiding the actual prison cells, the two of you walk right to the guard room. Light streams through the window and you can see that the place was left in a hurry. There is still a lot of junk strewn around. It smells of moldy water. Maybe the place was hit by a hurricane.

You walk over to the desk and pull out a drawer. Matches, pens, an old pipe. You pocket the matches and check each drawer for anything of use while Baekhyun does the same across the room.

Most of the things you come across are entirely worthless, but you do find a fully loaded gun and a dusty flare.

The finds remind you that you didn’t grab anything when you jumped off the ship. Reckless. Thoughtless. But the realization that you don’t regret it is humbling.

Quickly you pat your body to see if you happened to bring anything of use. Your smallest blade sits reliably on your hip, and your gun still happens to be in its holster.

The compass.

You unhook it from your hip and stare at it in disappointment. Useless.

The sound of glass crashing across the room alarms you.

Baekhyun stands next to the shattered object with startled eyes and a wince frozen on his face. “Can you be quiet?” you whisper harshly.

He relaxes and rolls his eyes. “There’s no one alive here,” he reminds. “It’s not like we’re going to get in trouble.” His voice is as low as yours.

“Then why are you whispering?”

“Because you’re whispering!” He whispers back in frustration.

You cock an eyebrow.

“Shut up,” he says at normal volume. He steps over the glass with his hands on his hips and his lips jut out in a disappointed pout.

Clearly there’s nothing else of value in here.

“Do you know where the kitchen is?” you ask quietly.

“Yeah, come on.”

You travel through the halls wordlessly. The dripping of water punctuates every other second that passes. Your boots slosh through puddles of dirty water.

The silence of the jail feels more oppressive than anything else you’ve ever felt in life. It puts you on edge. You won’t say it scares you. Not when you’ve faced death itself countless times in your life. But if a fucking dead body comes back to life to eat your heart, you will not be responsible for your actions.

You are not beyond tripping Baekhyun so that you can get away.

In the kitchen, you split up to look for anything that can be salvaged. There are cans of food, packages of dried meats and fruits. The food left in the broken fridge is rancid, and rats crawl around on the floor. You would probably be better off just hunting and fishing on your own.

The floor creaks awkwardly under your foot as you close a cabinet with metal serving dishes; you look down. There’s a catch in the floor.

A door.

“Hey,” you hiss. You motion to your side when Baekhyun looks up from snacking on a bag of dried bananas. “Can you lift this up for me?” you ask.

He pads over and looks down in confusion at the spot near your foot. His jaw freezes in the middle of chewing as interest spreads across his face.

When he reaches down, the door squeaks open with a severity that hurts your ears. It’s pitch black below.

You dig the matches out of your pocket and lower yourself carefully, closer to the entrance. You strike a match and it dimly illuminates a bit of the space. An oil lamp hangs not far from the top.

Once lit, the lamp brightens up the hidden room.

A ladder.

Despite the burning in your torso you begin to lower yourself down farther.

An hand lands on your shoulder to stop you. “What are you doing?” Baekhyun whispers.

“I’m investigating. There’s no one here remember?” you mock. You shrug off his hand and scale down the short ladder. Another lamp awaits at the bottom. You strike another match and the full room comes into view.

You smile. “It’s a liquor storage.”

“What?”

“It’s a liquor storage,” you whisper a bit louder.

“What?!” he calls louder.

You inhale angrily. “IT’S A-”

“I heard you the first time. Quiet down,” he laughs from above. You hear him jump down into the small space. He looks around appreciatively.

“Party on the beach. Better than dying stranded and sober I guess.”

Baekhyun grabs a few bottles and places them outside of the little room. You attempt to grab a bottle of bourbon that’s caught your eye a bit above your head.

You’ll have to stretch for it.

Bracing yourself for pain, you suck air through your teeth. But before you can lift your hand above your head, a warm body is pressed against your back and the bottle is pulled from your vision. You blink dumbly and once the solidness of his chest vanishes from your back, you turn to face him.

“What part of ‘take it easy’ don’t you understand?” Baekhyun scolds you, the bottle of bourbon you were going to grab cradled in his arm. He exhales in exasperation. “I’ll carry this stuff back. Just…stop doing shit that will hurt your fracture.”

“Aw Baekhyun are you worried about m-”

“If you actually break your rib I’m not going to help you fix it and you can die on this island immobile.”

You quiet.

“Fine.”

Baekhyun ends up carrying all of the heavy items found on your search back to the beach where you’d washed up. You trail behind him, mind shrouded in confusion, and a bit of worry. When did he start to care about your injuries?

He puts down the sheet, that he’d used the carry everything over, with an exhausted puff of breath.

Wordlessly you both begin to set up camp.

Baekhyun works on getting a fire started as the sun begins to lower in the sky, and you spread out the cloth so that you’ll have a buffer between your bodies and the sand when you sit down or sleep.

You take stock of all of the supplies that you’d collected while he continues to nurse dim embers to life. You’re happy to see that he’d found a second flare in his search.

The sky and the ocean are calm, cruelly so, as the two of you settle in front of the growing fire. When the sky is blanketed in black and stars begin to make themselves known, you light the flare that you’d grabbed from the prison. It illuminates the sky briefly and then fades away. Hopefully your ship sees it.

The night is warm, and the fire crackles excited between you. You on one side of the fire and Baekhyun five feet away.

Baekhyun munches on a package of dried meat he’d collected, and you struggle to open a bottle of rum with your teeth. It uncorks with a satisfying ‘pop’.

You take a large swallow and feel is settling, warm, in the pit of your stomach.

When you hold it out towards Baekhyun, he only looks at it, and then trains his attention back to the fire.

You shrug and take another swig. You smack your tongue against the roof of your mouth loudly to show your satisfaction.

“Okay fine. Hand it over.” You smile gratuitously as he takes the bottle and takes a drink for himself.

The alcohol relaxes your muscles and you feel the urge to start talking. “So…two eyes huh?”

You name falls from his lips in warning, telling you to drop it. You raise your hand in mock defeat.

You think maybe the alcohol is making him want to talk too. Or maybe it’s the silence. “…Why do you keep calling Suho a princess?”

“Huh?”

“He’s a prince,” Baekhyun states. He shifts in his spot and turns his body to face you. “He’s the Prince of Atlantis, but you’ve been calling him a princess even though you know that he’s not a girl.”

You shrug. “The stories…they originally just called him the lost child of Atlantis.”

“Yeah…”

“I don’t know when people started to just assume the lost child was a girl. It helped to keep his identity hidden that way even if it was wrong. If everyone was out looking for the Princess of Atlantis, they wouldn’t give a second thought to a man who fits the description. After a while it just became second nature to refer to him like that, to continue to talk about him as a little missing girl rather than who he actually was. Suho is a princess, and Junmyeon is a member of my ship. They weren’t the same person in my head.”

Baekhyun hands you the rum. For the same reason that you keep your own identity a secret, your crew decided to keep Junmyeon’s. Sometimes you gain an advantage by letting people assume what they want.

“Did you find out on your own that he was the princess- the prince?”

You smirk. “Your curiosity finally won out huh?”

He pelts a stick at your arm.

He waited longer than you expected –you’ll give him that.

“Since you are so curious I guess I can tell you.” He picks up another stick. “Anyways! He came up and told me. Introduced himself to me that way, the dumbass,” you laugh at the memory. “It was…years ago. Right as I was starting to find people to join my crew. He just walked up to me while I was sitting in the corner of a bar and slid one of my ‘Man for Hire’ posters across the table. This scrawny guy, soaked from head to toe. He looked exhausted but there was something in his eyes that I’d never seen before.” You look into the fire as you try to recall the details of that night.

“He told me that he wanted to hire me to get him home. I’m pretty sure I laughed right in his face. He sat down at my table, dropped a heavy bag of money between us, and said, ‘I can get you more money than you can imagine.’

“‘Okay I’ll bite. What’s the deal?’

“‘Have you ever heard of Atlantis?’” you repeat the words from the exchange and then pull your gaze from the fire to meet Baekhyun’s. “He went on to tell me that he was a prince and that he’d run away a few years before. He was ready to return, but he had no idea how to do it. He’d left because his family and his people were pressuring him about his destiny and the role he had to fulfill to save the kingdom and he just...panicked. He was just a teenager, you know? He was scared, he wasn’t ready, and so he ran away. He fled and then lived on land among humans for long enough that the connection he’d had with the ocean had dimmed. He couldn’t find his own way home, and they couldn’t come find him, even if they wanted to.”  

Baekhyun frowns. You take a drink, pass him the bottle, and continue on.

“I didn’t believe him at first, but decided to do what I could. Our relationship started out like that, with me trying to get him home. After some time he just decided to be on my crew. We would find crewmen, do other jobs to pay for our expenses, and then continue to look for Atlantis. Over time we gained more men, we lost even more, but he was always there at my side as my first mate. As my first crewman.” You smile fondly and play with the sand at your side. “Soon enough, finding Atlantis became an…afterthought. It wasn’t our priority anymore. We went on other adventures, faced other challenges, and strengthened the family we built aboard the ship.

“He said he was fine not finding his way home anymore after a few years of looking. But the way he looks out at the sea sometimes…” Memories arise of him leaning against the side of the ship and looking out at the expanse of the ocean longingly. “It’s heartbreaking.”

You don’t realize that your eyes are starting to water until a tear falls against the back of your hand. You swipe away the moisture and paste on a smile. Baekhyun’s expression is one of empathy. “I know that he misses the sea; I know that he misses home no matter what he says to deny it. I promised him that I would get him back, once. He laughed at me, but I meant it. He’s like my family, but his happiness comes before anything else…even if I have to give him back to the sea.”

Your words settle over you both like a heavy blanket. Your own heart tugs a bit at the memories and realization that you really may be giving him up soon. If they find you on this island and you continue on your quest. You’ll be giving up the person who’s been at your side longest.

“You love him,” Baekhyun states.

His words startle you. You look at him with widened eyes and try to read his expression, or at the very least the intention behind his words. It’s carefully concealed behind neutrality, but you can see a bit of the uneasiness in his eyes. You don’t know what comes over you. Why you want to see his reaction to your words so badly. Why you hope that it’ll bother him –even if it’s just a little.

You keep your gaze steady when you respond. “Yes.”

A glimpse of offense is all you catch as evidence that you words may have affected him, but it could have been a trick of the light from the fire. He rolls his eyes and takes a long swig of the rum, no longer looking you in your eyes.

“I love him the way I love every member of my crew,” you press on cautiously. You catch the stillness in his throat as he stops swallowing for half a second. Satisfaction thrums through your body. Why? Why? You don’t know for sure yourself. “Everyone on my crew is my responsibility, and with that comes a level of love and respect that we’ve all worked hard to build. Like I said, the men and women on that ship are my family. We wouldn’t work as well as we do if we didn’t love each other just a little bit. Thinking that you can’t love your shipmates just because you’re a pirate and you kill people is old fashioned. Love solidifies a bond like nothing else. We would risk our lives for each other…that goes for us with you and your men too.”

The fire pops loudly.

He wipes away a drop of alcohol from the corner of his lips and gives you a measured look. You watch as he figures out how to form the question he wants to ask next. You hold out your hand for the bottle.

He passes it, and if your hands faintly brush –neither of you mention it.

The next swallow of the liquid burns its way down and blurs your senses. Drunkenness creeps in at the corners of your mind. A weighted silence stretches on while you focus on the pleasant humming in your veins.

“Is that why you jumped in after me?” You twitch in your spot at the sound of Baekhyun’s voice. Enough time has passed of prolonged silence that you have to search your mind for what it is he’s referring to.

Oh, the storm. Your recklessness.

“Yeah,” you say easily. “You’re a part of my crew for now. We shook hands on our truce and everything –and you didn’t stab me after I cut your side, so I figure I can trust you. I would have done the same thing for anyone.” He seems unhappy with your answer, but doesn’t voice it. “If I can save a life, I save it. Especially if it’s someone on my crew,” you ramble on.

He laughs in disdain. “That’s stupid of you. No self respecting captain would do something like that.” He mutters around the bottle he’s slipped from your fingers, “I would have let me drown.”

You toss a handful of sand in his direction. “Well I’m not you.”

His eyes shine in confusion. You curse under your breath from the movement on your rib as you scoot closer to him. “You know,” you start, fully committed to over sharing now that you’ve started, “I haven’t hold anyone this, but years before I met Junmyeon –when I was still just a little street rat pick pocketing to eat and whatever- I had my life saved. You can think it’s stupid, because it kind of is but I don't care.” Baekhyun’s lip twitches up in amusement.

“Anyway! I had my life saved by this one kid. I was being chased down by a couple of thugs a man sent on me after I stole his purse. It was a rich guy who lived in my town, super well-known and feared. I’d really fucked myself over this time. His men were after me, and I tried to hide, but no one was willing to let me in. They were afraid of him. And I was just this random kid; they didn’t owe me anything. I knew if I was caught, I’d get my hands cut off…or worse!” You widen your eyes to emphasize your words. Baekhyun breathes out a laugh.

“I ran around in a panic, crying, shaking, begging. I was only like…10. I hid in an alleyway for an hour when I heard them coming. I could hear them asking people on the street if they’d seen me. ‘Have you seen this girl?’ ‘Have you seen this girl?’” you mimic. “I knew that I was going to be found. But then, this kid, he saw me when he’d come to throw out the trash from the shop he worked at. Or maybe he lived there? I don’t know…I just know that he didn’t have to help me, but he did. He helped me up and hid me in a storage shed under the shop until the next morning. It might not have meant anything to him, but I remember that favor to this day.

“I know it’s unlikely that I’ll ever meet him again, especially since I haven’t returned home, but I feel like I’m repaying him in some way like this. Saving the lives of people close to me or the lives of people who can’t save themselves. I can’t save everyone; shit, I’ve killed way more than I’ve ever saved, but where I can, if I know I can do it, then I do. Since I never got to tell him thank you…it helps.”

You aren’t sure if your words make sense; they don’t the longer you think about them, but you hope that Baekhyun gets the general idea. As a pirate, you pride yourself on killing those who are evil by nature. The people who pick on and hurt the innocent, the less fortunate, the defenseless. You kill, and you collect money for killing, but you have never killed someone who did nothing to deserve it. You’re relentless, sadistic, and at times monstrous, but you aren’t heartless. Despite how you grew up and the struggles you’ve faced –for every unkind soul you encountered, you met two with hearts of gold.

“You know…you talk a lot when you’re drunk.”

“Shut up.”

“No it’s…nice. Having a…normal conversation.”

You blink at him. Yeah, it is. Not throwing curses and insults at each other for once is…nice.

But the thought of admitting that aloud to him makes your stomach twist in an ugly way.

“Are you going soft on me Byun?” you tease.

“I’m allowed to enjoy just talking every once in a while. You’re the one going all starry eyed over some kid from your childhood that’s probably buried in whores and liquor right now,” he throws back. “You shouldn’t idolize people like that. It’ll hurt you less when they don’t fulfill your expectations.” He fingers the neck of the bottle before taking a large swallow. “Besides it sounds like you’re in love with him and you don’t even remember what he looked like.”

“I’m not in love with him,” you feel your stomach turn uncomfortably when Baekhyun looks back at you with an amused eyebrow raise.

So you’re in love with him right? That's why you’re acting like this?

Heat fills your cheeks. “And so what if I can’t remember what he looked like? It was a long time ago and my memory’s been distorted. Fuck off.”

For a while you did look for that kid. You can remember the kohl rimming his eyes, and the hood he wore that hid his face in the darkness. In the time you searched for him you wanted so bad for someone to fit the mental description that you began to make people fit it. You confused what you actually remembered of his appearance with what you wanted him to look like.

Even if he sat right in front of you today –you probably wouldn’t even recognize him.

You hear Baekhyun holding back his giggling and you glare at him half-heartedly. With a full smile, all rectangle, all rounded cheeks, he holds the nearly empty bottle for you to take once again.

When your hand touches his this time, you both pause for a second longer than you should. You blame the alcohol. He lets go and averts his gaze back to the fire. You clear your throat nervously. “What about you?” his eyes flicker quickly from the fire. “Any savior stories? Or love stories, heartbreaker? You know, outside of ones with me,” you add jokingly before finishing the bottle.

“No,” he says quickly. You see his ears color.

You gasp. “You do don’t you? Tell me,” you demand. “Was it someone you grew up with? Are you in love with someone right now?”

The red spreading up his neck isn’t a result of your imagination, or your drunkenness, you know it. “Why are we even talking about this?” he complains, a whine taking form in his voice. You’ve heard him whine like this once before –when he was leaving a bar being held up by one of his men (Sehun, now that you know the people in his crew) and not wanting to go home.

“You’re the one interrogating me over my love life!”

“I was not!”

“‘You love him’, ‘Sounds like you’re in love with him’, ‘You’re obsessed with each other’,” you mock.

His eyes narrow. “I never said that last one.”

This time you feel your face heating. “Whatever. You started the conversation.” You grab sand and start to fill the empty bottle just to give yourself the distraction. You don’t think you can look at him right now. “Besides, there’s nothing else to do. Unless you want to spar…” you look over eagerly.

His face scrunches up (cutely) and he lies on his back. “No, I’m too tired and too drunk to fight you right now.”

You frown to yourself and finger the top of the bottle distractedly. “You know…” you start again, “You act like love is a death sentence, or like it’s something bad.”

“It is,” he says simply. His voice sounds far away. You shuffle closer so (so that you can hear him better –obviously) and grumble under your breath as a way to distract from the pain movement causes you.

He doesn’t move away when you lie down next to him. You both stare up at the sky, visions swimming.

Fuck you’re drunk.

“Are you drunk?” you whisper.

“…a bit,” he laughs in a whisper back.

You both continue to look at the stars and giggle to yourselves. It’s funny that you’re here like this, you think –lying on a beach with Baekhyun on your side, so close that the sides of your bodies are nearly overlapping. Giggling and drunk and talking about love like old friends.

I think you should both admit you’re in love with each other so we can all move on.

“Baekhyun…”

“Hmm?”

“It could be nice…being in love.” His head rolls to the side to watch you. You keep your eyes trained on the sky. “Like…it could be like having a first mate in life. Someone to help you navigate your ups and downs like a first mate helps a captain navigate the seas. It could be nice having that one person to lean on when the waters get too rough and it feels like the entire world is against you –you still have the one person who will always be there at your side. It might be nice to be scolded and praised and encouraged for just living…for just being yourself. Don’t you think?” you let your head loll to the side so you can look at him.

You observe the furrow of his eyebrows and the way his lips pout as he thinks. You stare openly into the darkness of his eyes and notice how they both droop downwards. How his nose slopes and how his face is so round.

You feel your stomach flip in an ugly way.

Struck by panic and by his silence at your words –you slap on a sleazy drunk smile. “And you can have sex with them whenever you want. That’s a pretty cool bonus, I think.”

He laughs his absolute loudest –his brightest- at that.

You shove down the urge to say something else, something just as dumb, just so that you can see him laugh like that again.

Shit.

“Shut up,” he giggles. His eyes shine and dart across your face excitedly and you faintly register your own doing the same. His cheeks are so round and so red from the alcohol and the joy.

He’s very pretty when he smiles.

Both of his eyes, pretty (he’s got two of them who would have thought?). A mole under one of them, another on his cheek, one more above his lip.

His lips…those stupid little pink triangles that make up his upper and the stupid moisturized swell of the other. As if able to read your thoughts, his tongue darts out to wet them.

“Your lips are so stupid,” you grumble to yourself loud enough for him to hear you clearly.

That pulls another raucous laugh out of him. His teeth gleam in the moonlight and against the fire.

“Your teeth too,” you add softly. “They’re too white.”

“You’re drunk. Go to sleep,” he says with a smile.

You roll onto your side to face him. He follows. “Am’not. You’re s’the one who’s drunk,” you fire back. He chuckles softly, almost fondly, and it ghosts across your face. You’re close enough to count his eyelashes.

If you had half the coherence to do so.

“Baekhyun…”

“Hmm?”

You pause to figure out why you called out his name this time. You don’t have anything else you really want to say –just wanted to capture his attention.

“You wanna mess around?” you try.

He giggles. “No, we’re drunk.”

“How valiant of you, that’s never stopped us before. I’m only offering this one time so you better take it up before I take it back.”

He scoffs. “No you aren’t. You’ll probably ask again tomorrow too when you’re sober because you’re always horny and always stupid and you’re in love with my dick.”

You hum and close your eyes with a smile. “Touché.”

The world spins even as your eyes are shut. Your body feels heavy with alcohol and warm with whatever it is that has happened tonight between you and Baekhyun.

When you hear him murmur your name, you peak open an eye. His gaze is surprisingly clear for someone who drank just as much as you.

“Yeah?”

“I’ll uh…I’ll take the first watch,” he stammers.

You close your eyes again and hum in agreement. “You’ve got first watch?” you yawn out.

You vaguely hear him hum as the crackle of the fire sound of his soft breaths lull you to sleep.

[hes-writer]

Harry and Y/N are best friends (2)

Summary: Harry and Y/N haven’t seen each other in a while

Warnings: angst

Word Count: 4.1k

In a perfect world, Y/N would’ve had the courage to confess– again– but maybe when the circumstances were a bit better than they were before. Maybe he would actually reciprocate her feelings, and maybe he wouldn’t have met Luna because he had decided that his heart belonged to Y/N back home.

In an effort to add more people into her minuscule group of friends, Y/N had signed up for Zumba at her local community center. She was a bit iffy at first about signing up because it wasn’t cheap, and Y/N would rather much buy herself some snacks at the store, but she knew that she needed to get out there in order to get her mind off of her failed confession to Harry. Ever since she first stepped into the activity room with a large mirror right in front of her, Y/N was forced to face with her reflection and watch her body move quite stiffly with the music.

Then, she would’ve disregarded the obvious flaws because Y/N wasn’t very harsh with herself and she thought that whatever is ‘wrong’ with her, she can improve; that’s why she chose to see only the good things, thing that she liked. She was on the heavier side, a sizeable bum than most and she had a muffin top, but Y/N used those societal flaws to build herself up to be more confident. Plus, Harry always told her that she looked beautiful, and complimented her whenever he could. It wasn’t that she needed Harry’s approval to know that she’s beautiful, but it definitely helped her self-esteem when someone like him made herself believe that she was worth something. So that’s why she was a bit confused as to why Y/N was looking at herself right now and was only seeing the flaws she otherwise would’ve ignored or maybe gaped at in a positive light. Her hips were jutting out a bit more, she noticed. A sixth sense made her feel like everybody around her was staring at her in judgment. A sane part of her knows that she was just being paranoid, but the larger half couldn’t help but be more aware of her actions, taking unnecessary steps back so she wouldn’t be in anyone’s direct line of view.

And Y/N knew why she was perceiving this sort of emotion. She recognized that a considerable part of her was envious of Luna’s appearance. Y/N wasn’t anywhere near hers--beauty wise--so maybe that’s the root of all of her negative input. She was used to it, she guesses. Being around Harry for an extensive amount of time meant that she was in a plethora of pictures, ones that were posted in media articles, newspapers, and on social media. While others ignored her visible presence of being in the background right behind him, other outlets still isolated her and made comments about who she was without really learning who she is. So yes, there are some assumptions being made and certainly are their gossips about her looks saying that she was ‘too ugly’ to be hanging out with Harry, or that she wasn’t as skinny as the previous women he had linked himself to (assuming that they were dating). Like she said, it usually wouldn’t disturb her or trouble her mind since Harry’s reassurance echoes in her mind every time she doubted herself. It was comforting for someone to just be there for her, but Y/N was in slow progress of accepting the fact that he might not be there for her anymore in the very near future, she figures.

----

“Hey Y/N, are you okay? You seemed about out of it,” Darren, the instructor, approached her when most of the participants left the room. She was searching for the towel she was quite sure she threw in her gym bag in a rush.

“Huh? Yeah, I’m okay. Thanks” Y/N smiled at him, forcing herself to converse with him although she wasn’t in the best mood right now.

“So I was thinking, if you aren’t doing anything Friday night ...we could maybe get dinner together,” Darren started, inspecting her face for any sign of discomfort from her. The last thing he wanted was for Y/N to feel uncomfortable because of him.

“Oh no, I’m sorry I have plan--,” Y/N trailed off, a sudden realization hitting her square in the face. Friday night used to be their nights. She closed off and rejected any invitations given to her especially on Friday’s because there was no question as to whether or not she and Harry were going to hang out or not-- it was always a yes. They didn’t even check in on each other if they’re cool for spending time together because it was such a routine that nobody dared questioned.

“It’s okay if you can’t, by the way,” He added, noticing that she was taking a pregnant pause. He shifted on his sneaker-clad feet nervously while biting his lip.

If he already missed three weeks in a row, what are the chances of him missing a straight fourth?

Y/N chuckled anxiously, not knowing whether to say yes or now. On one hand, it was a good step for her to spend Friday nights with somebody else instead of her more recent contexts where she sat on her couch alone, eating frozen meals and staring emotionlessly at a supposed ‘comedy show’. But on the other, there was still a slice of her endlessly hoping that Harry would somehow change his plans to include her--his best friend-- if she could even label herself that. It was saddening, really; she was waiting for him to (hopefully) realize that he missed her but then again, she wasn’t in the place to assume anything since Y/N didn’t know what he was thinking or even how he was feeling recently.

“You know what?” Y/N said, clearing her throat. Darren raised an eyebrow at her. “I think it would be gr--”

Both of them glanced at her left hand where she clutched her phone. She gives him a sheepish smile. He must be so annoyed at her.

“Hey y/n, wanna hang out this friday? :))

Luna’s going out with her friends

It’s ok if u dont wanna :/”

“Um actually, I can’t. Maybe next time,” Y/N finally responded, bashfully might she add. She could feel her plump cheeks heating up as if a space heater hit her at full blast, making her cheeks pink.

“It’s alright. Maybe next time, “ Darren repeated. She could see the twinkle in his eyes dispersing a bit and his body to be slouching just an inch shorter. However, she couldn’t find it in herself to care about him; not when Harry had planted himself back in her otherwise boring life.

Yes, it was a bit pitying for Y/N to just let Harry in again despite his actions, but she couldn’t help it. She really does miss him and she’s sure that Harry will explain himself.

---------

It was finally Friday and Y/N was bouncing on her toes, excited about tonight’s event. She still had a couple of hours before she would be heading over to his house with a bag of goodies. The fact that she hasn’t seen him in a while added spine-tingling energy bursting through her whole body. She woke up on the right side of the bed, the sun peeked through her blinds in the right amounts so she wasn’t blinded. The weather was perfect because when Y/N missed slipping her feet in her fuzzy slippers, her sole was met with a warmness that would usually be a frigid platform. So yes, her mood was elevated profoundly and it was all because of Harry.

She made her breakfast while she was swaying her hips to the beat of the song from her playlist. Y/N thought about how he was able to take her sucky week and do a complete 180. That was when she had to accept another fate; that she was--no doubt-- absolutely in love with him that she was willing to brush his misdemeanors off of her shoulder just like that. She couldn’t find one bone in her body to hate him and she didn’t even reprimand herself for feeling that way because the love she’d grown for him overpowered any other emotion. She was sure that she’d resemble a heart-eyed emoji right now.

---------

Y/N was giddy, she could feel it throughout her entire body. Her skin was buzzing against her pajamas that she’d worn underneath a layer of clothes to keep her warm. Her fingers pressed the doorbell by the side of the frame. A smile was basically plastered on her face and her cheeks were getting sore for sure yet Y/N’s expression stayed the same despite the cold nipping at her exposed skin. She waited for the porch lights to turn on, indicating that he had let his eye peep through the hole on the door to see her face. For what seemed like five minutes, she stood there in her boots, having already rung the bell twice and her happy expression steadily sagged into one of worry, anxiousness, and disappointment. Did he forget or did he just not hear her? She hoped for the latter because after all, being forgotten was solid evidence of her not being a priority in his life anymore.

The sun had already started setting when she stepped foot outside her apartment and locked the doors so it was no surprise that the night sky had immersed itself in a blanket full of stars, dimly reflecting off of shiny windshields of the cars parked in the driveway. The street lights were her only source of metaphorical warmth. His car was here, so why wasn’t he answering the door?

It had been ten minutes later when Y/N heard the clicks of the locks from the other side of the door from her position, butt frozen sitting on the wooden staircase leading up to his front door. She had tightened the hood of her sweater over her head and her hands were shoved in the pockets to conserve heat after she spent time contacting him on her phone to which she got no reply.

“Y/N,” He breathed out. She stood up quickly, almost slipping at the abruptness and for a moment she saw stars circling in front of her eyes but she steadied herself.

“What took you so long?” She muttered while bending down to get the bag of food. Standing up straighter, he could see that he was matching her; grey sweatpants and a t-shirt.

“J-just doing some stuff around the house,” He leaned in for a hug after she had kicked off her shoes messily to the side. Her coat hung on the rack and the heat of Harry’s home made her stomach feel fuzzy. Y/N succumbed immediately into his warm hug, nuzzling her face into his neck like she always does. “Missed you, lovie”

“Missed you too, H” It was a deja-vu moment for her, mind flashing back to the airport a couple of weeks ago. But he was here now, he wasn’t going to leave her to run off with Luna; he was hers for the time being and she damn as hell going to make sure that every second with him was spent well.

She felt the familiar knack in his arms as he tightened the length of it around her body, his hair tickling her face in the slightest ways, bodies pressed together so near that it felt like they were one. Y/N breathed in deeply, searching for his scent that filled her nostrils and made her heart beat calmly. When she did, it was different. It was sweet in a sense, a robust aroma wafting off of his neck, something raw and metallic; unfamiliar.

Her sock-covered feet padded against the marble flooring, bag rusting as she swayed it while she walked. Her voice resonated in the large room in question about how he was doing and what he had been up to that he took such a long time to get the door. She got her answer not a second later, not from the deep rumbling of his chest, but the sight in front of her.

Y/N’s head tilted to the side in confusion of seeing the back of Luna’s head as she scavenged the refrigerator for food. She turned around to face Harry, eyebrows raising as if to say ‘what is she doing here?’. He was about to open his mouth when Luna closed the fridge door.

“Harry, you have no more bread,” Luna whined out, not facing their direction yet.

“Sorry, babe. We’ll buy more tomorrow,”  She turned around then, eyes going wide in the surprise of seeing Y/N.

“Oh, hi Y/N!” Luna greeted her, long legs taking strides to pull Y/N in for an embrace. She was stuck frozen, trying to decipher what was currently happening.

“Luna’s friends canceled so she’s staying with us tonight,” Y/N could feel a drought simpering in her throat.

“I hope that’s okay,” Luna continued, concern flooding her beautiful features as she stared at Y/N.

Harry wasn’t doing something, he was doing someone. Luna. That would certainly explain why she was wearing an oversized jumper stopping mid-thigh, probably underwear, and some socks; it was Harry’s jumper, Y/N concludes because she wore the same one when she complained about being cold one night in his house. It would explain her messy hair, tinted cheeks, and the dazed look in her eyes. They fucked before she got here, that’s why he couldn’t answer the door. Y/N felt disgusting, turning her body fully to face him, inspecting him. His t-shirt was wrinkled, allowing her to see (at close distance) a bruise forming on his neck and clavicle, his hair was sex hair and that god-awful smell she was whiffing was the smell of sex. A shiver ran down her spine at the thought of their actions and the fact that he held her close minutes after he finished with her. As if he needed a hug like the one they shared; full of love and emotion of missing each others’ presence because Y/N certainly did, but him, it was an ordinary action probably acted on through kindness because he didn’t need her anymore. He didn’t need love sprouting from Y/N because he can get it from someone else. A separate devastation harnessed its way into her heart at the visual of a man that she was so helplessly besotted with sharing an intimate action with someone he had known for only months.

“Y-yes of course,” Y/N swallowed thickly, still trying to wrap her mind around the context. Her eyes found Harry’s which were filled with worry, begging her to let him explain what the hell just happened.

“Great! Don’t worry, I’ll take care of the food, you guys make yourselves comfortable,” Luna beamed, shooing the both of them away from the kitchen and towards the living room but not before grabbing Harry’s shirt and giving him a kiss on the lips.

-----

As soon as Y/N thought that they would be out of earshot, she instantaneously turned around to face Harry who was following her closely.

“What the hell, Harry? You said she was going out, that it would just be the both of us,” Y/N sneered, hands waving in frustration.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. Her plans fell through and she was already here anyways so I thought that you wouldn’t mind if she joined us, “

“I just thought it’d be the two of us,”

“What’s wrong with having her here?” He challenged her, eyebrows rising from their usual place. Y/N gulped heavily, choosing to be careful with her words.

“Nothing is wrong with her being here,”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I wanted it to be like old times, you know?”

Harry sighed deeply. His legs leading him to stand in front of her, tilting her chin up so she could see the sincerity behind them.

“Look Y/N, it’s going to be different now,” His tone sounded like he was speaking to a child. “Luna and I are together and there’s going to be some changes between-- between us,”

“I know, Harry. I’m not expecting you to invite me every time. I haven’t seen you in so long and she just comes here and take-- spends her time with you and I barely get to see you, H”

“If this is because of what I said to you before, “ And she knew that he was talking about her confession. “Feelings change and sometimes you can’t control it. I didn’t mean to hurt you, Y/N. I wasn’t ready to commit again,”

“That’s beside the point!” Her voice reached a new volume and Harry shot her a warning glance to keep her voice down. “It doesn’t matter if I told you about my feelings or not. What matters is you keep ditching me for her, canceling our plans because she wanted you to stay by her side.”

“I get that you guys are a couple but I feel like I’m not even important to you anymore,”

“That’s not true, you know that’s not true,” He protested. Y/N didn’t know if he was playing dumb or if he was really that daft.

“When’s the last time we hung out together, just us?”

He gaped at her, pink lips opening and closing but no sound came from his throat.

“Exactly, you don’t even know,”

“She’s my girlfriend, Y/N. You’re just my .. my friend” He whispered agitatedly.

Her heart cracked and the fire igniting in her was extinguished. The embers floating amidst the dry and tense atmosphere. He had hit a soft spot, he knew that but it wasn’t on purpose.

“R-right. Of course, “ She nodded, accepting the cold, hard facts. She couldn’t do anything and besides, he was speaking the truth. He never saw her as anything more than a friend and the sooner she gets over that, the faster she can mend her broken heart and move on.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,”

Y/N held up a palm indicating him to stop talking, “No you’re right. I’m just a friend, a friend that waited out in the cold tonight only to be reminded that she’s never going to be anything else to you,

“Don’t put words in my mouth and I told you I was doing something,” It was his turn to roll his eyes.

She scoffed, “You weren’t doing something, you were doing her!”

“We’re in a relationship. It’s normal,” He explained.

“I know it is,” Y/N took his comment as a blow for her lack of companionship. “I’m just saying, you left me outside in the cold to fuck her--”

“Sorry about that again,”

She glared at him for interrupting her, “And you touched me as if you didn’t just touch her minutes before! I mean god did you even wash your hands?”

He only shook his head at her question.

“That’s disgusting, Harry!”

“I said I was sorry! Why can’t you accept that already?”

She spotted the soiled couch, the cushions pressed in from the weight of Harry and Luna’s bodies, the blanket was half on the couch and a half on the floor.

“Not only did you take your sweet time getting to the door, but you also forgot about me these past few weeks and you know it,”

“I canceled one thing and you’re acting as if I ruined this friendship,”

She stared at him incredulously, “One? It was three, Harry! You kept saying ‘maybe next time’ but it never comes,”

“I can’t just drop everything for you,”

“But you used to”

He ran a hand over his face, the stress of the conversation weighing in on him.

“Luna, sh-she’s more important now,”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m saying that I want to focus on her and me,”

“So you’re basically kicking me to the side? Because you found someone else to give you something that you can’t accept from me?”

“That’s not what I’m doing, Y/N,”

“Then explain to me! Please, I’m trying to understand you,” She begged him and Y/N’s sure that Luna had probably heard their conversation by now. It didn’t take that long to prepare the snacks.

“I really want her and I to work,”

“I wish you the best too, you know that. I’m just confused as to where I stand,” Y/N stated. “I don’t want to make you choose, Har, but I need to know if you see me as a convenient person that will always catch you when you fall or if you really care about me because right now, it seems like you don't’”

“I care about you and I love you, Y/N”

“You didn’t answer my question, Styles,” Her eyes were stinging from the tears she was holding back. She wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of crying in front of him. “Are you keeping me around because you know I’ll stay?”

“Please don’t take advantage of me like that.” She pleaded, a lone tear slipping down her cheek and he instinctively reached out to wipe it away; like he used to.

“I-i’m not,”

“Prove it,”

“But Y/N, you said you wouldn’t make me chose,” His reply was an answer in itself, his actions and words were already hinting at possible disclosure between him and her, but hearing it from him made it more real. He already knew that he was going to choose Luna, but he kept Y/N around for the sake of his selfish reasons.

“You choose her, huh?”

He tried to come closer to her, but every time he took a step forward, her body backed away from him.

“I-i don’t know what to say,”

“I don’t know either, H” She puffed her chest out, heart aching deeply at his words.

“I really like her, Y/N”

The knife in her chest twisted, breaking the pieces into sharper shards that scratch her insides, capturing her in an endless loop of pain. Everything she hoped to be, everything she desired to herself was given to somebody else and it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that she is treated so poorly right now by a man she loves and it wasn’t even his fault! He’s right, you can’t control your feelings because Y/N still loves him the way she did before.

“I know,”

---

It hurts. There was a hole in her chest, an abyss swallowing every emotion she felt except anger, pain, grief, loneliness, and disappointment. Those stuck around, circling her heart and making her feel bad about herself but she couldn’t find anything to counteract the sorrow she was feeling. It mocked her like Harry had used her. She didn’t realize it at first because it was subtle and fundamental that when she did,  it was too late to try and revive the old Y/N. She died right along when Harry chose someone else over her.

Her body ached, limbs and joints remaining in the same position for a continuous amount of time. Y/N’s throat was dry, having not spoken for days--having not left her place for days-- and she felt like every time a word scraped by that she would break into a heaving sob, burning her lungs for air as snot filled her nostrils. She turned off her phone to disconnect herself from the outside world, surely nothing important would happen to a nobody like her; a thought that Harry further revealed as true by stepping on her and beating down on her love and trust. She refused to see herself in any reflection because she knew that she would only be met with a lifeless counterpart, a stranger staring at her because even she didn't know who she was anymore. It hurts when every time she closed her eyes, an image of Harry and Luna embedded itself permanently in her brain that she often had to spend nights staring at the ceiling, afraid to sleep.

Y/N didn’t know if he was okay, he probably was, since she hasn’t heard from anyone in days. Sometimes he would sneak into her dreams and give her a few moments to imagine a life where they were together; her dreams were a place for them to be together whereas reality only spits at her pathetic attempt of finding love. He used her for his own selfish reasons and she let him because she desired him too much. He only kept her around because she was a safety net in case anything goes wrong and she couldn’t even let herself be too angry at him because at least he made her feel wanted. At least he trusted her with him himself; but he could never trust her with his heart even though she gave her own to Harry, willingly.

--------

let me know what you thought!

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[caseydambro]

the amount of allurance this season was a little unnecessary, dontcha think?

you see i keep thinking about how a LOT of people are saying similar things like “oh lance is a rebound and it makes me fuckin angry” or “this new relationship feels forced and unnecessary”. what ifs its meant to feel like that? like its SUPPOSED to feel off. like its…. dare i say dramatic irony???? the audience knows something that the characters themselves dont know yet?

[elegant-phff]

Four.You Are Freaking Scarlet Witch

The Next Day

8:30 am

Alexandra Larsson

The sound of my alarm buzzed through my large bedroom.Groaning I rolled over,causing me to fall on the floor below with a loud thud."Godfuckingdamnit"I groaned."This is clearly why you shouldn't get drunk Alexandra!"I scolded myself.I had no plans of going clubbing the previous night.Unfortunately.three royals had different plans.Beatrice and Eugenie had arrived unexpectedly at my house and well,dragged me out of my bed and forced me to dress up and go out with them.According to them,I was still 'not over my sappy situation'.By that I believe they meant that I wasn't over Henry.Which is true in some aspects.I miss his charming smile which would make any girl swoon,how he'd cuddle with me after a day full of exhausting work schedule  and how he'd tell me he loved me and how he'd always be there for me.At the same time I was grateful to have found out about his tactics.I was Glad that I found out about all of his misdeeds before the wedding.It could have been worse.

The past two months I coped with my heartbreak in my own way.I buried myself in work.Thankfully I have six long months of filming Captain America:Civil War starting next month in Atlanta and Germany which would occupy my mind and I had busied myself by working out to get back in shape for the role.I have also decided to take up more charities than before.I joined  "The Trust Support","YoungMinds" and "Action For Happiness".In addition,I also became a UNICEF Ambassador and an UN spokeswoman.As much as hardwork it was,it kept me distracted and that's all that mattered.

I rubbed my eyes trying to get used to the awful brightness coming through my windows.I glanced at the bedside table and saw that it was 8:30 am.I threw the duvet off my body and slid on my slides.Tumbling to the bathroom,I almost had a heart attack when I saw myself in the mirror."Holy shit,I look like a fucking demon,"I screamed but quieting down as soon as my voice gave me a headache.I lazily washed my face and brushed my teeth because they stinked.I took a quick shower and stepped out of my walk-in closet wearing a oversized hoodie and a pair of sweatpants.Since I was too lazy to make myself anything good,I opted for cereal and a cup of hot coffee.As much as I loved some good English Tea,I loved coffee more than anything in this world.I could not live a day without some good Cold Brew from Starbucks.

After I finished my breakfast,I took a Paracetamol and I opened my phone to see a lot of missed calls and messages from unknown numbers."Shit,please don't tell me that I drunkenly gave unknown people my number,"I mumbled to myself.Opening the first message it read:

'HRLLLLLOORRR ISSA SKIPPPPYYYYYYYYYY'

I laughed and let out a 'dafuq',quickly I responded with a,"Hello to you too drunken Skip!I hope a hangover as enthusiastic as the text you sent is currently occurring to you-A very hungover Alexandra."

Instantly he responded with"Fuck of!"

I laughed and left him on seen as it seemed he didn't want to be bothered.Opening the next messages,I realized they were from Guy,Sam,Zara,Mike and a very enthusiastic Savannah who was not at all hungover unlike the rest of us.Opening the last text it read,"Pretty please tell me tihs is Alexandra THe Graet?!"I laughed as I would use this as my nickname sometimes."Depends on whose asking,"I replied.I waited a few seconds and when no response came I decided to leave it and get back to my day.

For the day I didn't have much planned but knowing that I would end up procrastinating I started working right away.I had to respond to all the emails that my assistant Theresa forwarded to me.I had to go through all the papers sent from UN and I had a Skype meeting with the CEO of YoungMind.Then I would head over to the gym to go through my daily workout.I hadn't received the script for CA:CW yet so I couldn't practice my lines.

I made myself some Cold Brew and tied my hair in a bun and sat down to respond to the emails.Halfway through the process my phone screen lights up indicating that I have a new notification.I glanced at my phone screen  and saw that it was from the last unknown number from the previous night.I guessed that it would be Liz or Harry from the group or a stranger that I ended up giving my number to.Hopefully,it wasn't a stranger and if it was they weren't going to snoop to the paparazzis.I slid my finger over the notification to open it,"Oh well,I am Henry the great then 🤴🏻"I smiled knowing that it was Harry and no stranger."I have honestly so many questions regarding your text Harry,"I replied.In a matter of a few seconds,he replies,"As away then!"I laugh at the unnecessary use of the exclamation point."First of all,What if I accidentally gave you the wrong number and the text was sent to the wrong person?You know,you could have revealed your identity to a fucking stranger!Secondly.Did you just steal my nickname?!!HOW DARE YOU?Thirdly,did u seriously just use a guy wearing a crown emoji?Also,petition for Apple to release a ginger guy emoji!"I replied."LANGUAGE!"He replied.I almost fell of my chairing laughing at the reference he made."Secondly,damn woman chill with your questions,"He texted again."You just told me to ask away..."I replied. "Okay...nevermind."He replied."Also did you just reference Captain America?!I didn't know you were a Marvel fan!"I replied excitedly.It would be fun to tease him about it."You have no idea how big of a fan Will and I are!"He texted back."Yeah!We were crazy comic fans in our childhood and we started watching the Avengers movies because of George's insistance."

"You know what I just realized?"He added."What?"I asked curiously."YOU ARE FREAKING SCARLET WITCH LIKE OMG I AM TALKING TO SCARLET WITCH RIGHT NOW,"I laughed at his excitement.He literally sounded like every Marvel fan I have ever encountered."How come you didn't notice it before?smh,plastic fan,"I decided to tease him a bit."WHAT???NO!!I am not a plastic fan!I just didn't realise it because in the movie you have long brown hair and brown eyes with a weird non British European accent and in irl you have short blonde hair and a British accent so it was very different and also I was drunk so...not my fault!!"He ranted."Damn chill out!I was just teasing ya 🤦🏼‍♀️."I responded."Oh okay,phew ya know I don't want your cast mates (aka RDJ,Evans,Paul Bettany AND PAUL RUDD ) to think that I was a fake fan :)"He replied."Damnn,I gotta tell everyone one that Prince Harry is a plastic fan next month ;)"I joked."HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT YALL START FILMING NEXT MONTH?!!!"I mentally slap myself because I wasn't suppose to say it."Shit,you were not suppose to know that.FUCK,don't tell anyone tho."I replied."Only in one condition,you tell me whose in which team ;)"

"Too bad haven't got the script yet!"

"Wait why?dont you guys start filming next week so don't you have to rehearse or something?"

"Yeah but Marvel is very secretive.We don't get the scripts for highly anticipated movies until the last moment."

"Damn I thought I was gonna be a exclusive marvel fan for the first time :("

"Lmao,you are a exclusive person Harry"

"Buzz feed quiz says otherwise"

"Omfg you are such a fanboy."

"What can I say,born and raised in comic ;)"

"Sure Jan"

I waited for is reply but it didn't come as soon as the previous texts.After a while he finally replied:

"HI ALEXA ITS KATE HERE,I JUST WANTED TO ASK IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN JOINING US THREE IN BRUNCH NEXT WEEK?-Kate xx"

I laughed as all of a sudden Kate appeared in the middle of our conversation.She could have just texted me from her phone."Lmao,Kate is always hype when it comes to things including you 😂"I chuckled."What can I say?She is my number one fan.Also inform her that I am in,just tell her to text me the details earlier from HER phone."

"Smh I feel like a goddamn messenger."

"As you wish 😒"

"Okay I gotta go,Uncle duties calling me!"

"Have fun !"

Just liked that,I closed my phone and went back to doing work.

The entire day consisted of me being an adult.I replied to important mails,went through papers,online meetings and so on.It felt good to hangout with a few friends before I would be gone for a long period of time.

I couldn't wait to get to know these new friends a bit more.

[asexual-hugger]

Why I Hate Doctor Who

Apart from the show completely sucking with all the unnecessary romance added in between the Tenth Doctor and Rose Tyler, it's the fandom that sucks ten times more. I'm not making choices for people; they are absolutely free to join the community if they so wish. This is simply an informative post about the toxic environment that is the world of Doctor Who. I'm going to spend all of the upcoming year and as long as it takes afterward making the Whovians pay for what they did to those I deeply care about. Maybe this will be my resolution for the next year.

Also, you can't forget bullshit like this:

“you stupid bitch, someone should rape you”

“How dare you hate Rose!”

“Kill yourself, you fucking whore”

“WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THIS??? I AM A HUGE SHIPPER OF TENROSE! WHY TF WOULD YOU SHIP TENELSA??? IT’S NOT EVEN CANNON! Ur fanfiction is crap!”

“Look, I love Rose, okay? You insult my favorite character or ship i will come after u and rape u and set u on fire and ur sister is next and then ur mother”

“Dont like your stories”

Yes, I have it all memorized. Everything these disgusting things said to my friend. I'll never forget how they treated her. Ever. And I am going to spend every day reminding all of them how they impacted her life and forced her to end it. They will pay. I will make sure that they suffer every waking moment of their horrible lives knowing that they are responsible for someone taking their life. They will live with it forever.

Consider this a message to everyone currently in this disgusting, nasty cult that you call a “fandom:”

Before ANY of you say “but I’M a NICE person and I would NEVER do something like that,” or “my FRIENDS wouldn't DREAM of saying such horrible things to ANYONE,” just know this: if you say anything at all like this, you are the absolute worst. Don't think you or your FRIENDS can weasel your way out of anything by acting all nice and sweet. Sappy is not a good look on you. If you are in the Doctor Who fandom, you are accountable.

Fuck you, fuck your fandom, and fuck your FRIENDS. You have no right to even be living your lives right now, moving along like nothing ever happened. You drove someone to suicide, and probably more than one person based on the toxicity that goes on. You're a fucking cult. You don't deserve to live. And neither I nor any of my friends are homophobic. I'm fucking ace. I don't even know how your fandom still exists. Must be all those obnoxious, immature, LGBTQ-community-hating, Ten Rose-worshipping little 14-year old Christian fangirls. Burn in hell.

[koorinohebi]

[ burn ] ( From Demon King Nobu if you're down askjfd )

Because Violence is de way || Accepting (because suffering is my middle name)

Why...

A foreboding sense of dread loomed in the air. Suddenly, the surrounding area was thick with dust. The beaten path towards the temple, disturbed, as both men and horse advanced with an intent that was as clear as the day that was beginning to form.

This dawn would be the last thing that she sees. If she would even have the chance to behold it.

Pale silver orbs stared in disbelief; at this man who had willed his troops to stop by the wave of hand. Why was he here? This wasn’t the plan. This wasn’t what they’ve agreed to do. Was it because Oda’s men patrolled Kyoto so regularly that no one even saw or felt the danger that was imminent in their approach? Did everyone who they came across believe that this was just some sort of formality because she was in the area? Did no one suspect nor felt the blood-lust emanated by the general who led them here? Were people truly unaware because they knew not the face of war when it passed them by, or were they simply the type to turn a blind eye to something or someone so... deceptive.

“Ah, Master. I thought that you were PLAYING HERO with that APE against the Mori. Had you told me that you were spectating, I’d have gotten you a better seat--”

SLAP

Without so much as a warning, the young magus approached with a crisp, sharp slap directed at the general’s face. Whether the man anticipated it or not, she didn’t care. Kiomi didn’t care if he was bluffing at having been caught off guard, or if he chose to accept the blow-- she simply didn’t give a damn for any of it, let alone his ill-construed commentary of her presence here.

“Explain yourself, Jubei. What are you doing here?”

“Why master, are you so angry that you dare address me so casually?” And without much regard for his preference at that. Not that he cared, since he was aware of his master’s temper along with the little peculiarities that she exhibit when mad. “However, I would prefer that you continue calling me Mitsuhide.” There was a significant amount of venom in his tone. Jubei was a time when he was without his beloved Nobunaga. Someone who he didn’t needed to be. All he had to be was someone who his Lady favored. Nothing else mattered. Nothing else was more important than that. And yet, and YET. Fools keep on ruining his ideal, his vision, the Ladyship whom he admired and revered most of all. Why was he here? It was that Monkey’s fault. It was because of him that the Nobunaga Oda that he longed to serve, and respected disappeared. The one sitting comfortably within the walls of Honno-ji was nothing but a fake. Someone who didn’t need to exist, someone who didn’t match his ideals. Someone utterly unnecessary. And now, NOW even this master of his who he believed understood him-- she not only barred his way, but was also making friends with that blasted primate. Again with that thing's repugnant existence. Again, stealing from under his nose. Ah, she too is not real. Another pretender. It’s that Monkey’s fault. Everything that he touches vanishes. Well, he was not having any of it. Not anymore. These fakes, this pretender to the real Lady Oda Kazusa-no-Suke Nobunaga and his master, Zaiachi Kiomi were going to feel his wrath, his suffering.

“I don’t have time for your games, Mitsuhide--”

“Don’t worry, my master. We’re not playing games. I will answer your query as you are my most precious master.” And while he said these words, a gloved hand reached to trace the contours of her face. When she opted to slap the offending appendage away, he’d deny the act only to drive digits into her hair, gripping from the scalp to pull the magus close. A relatively subdued cry fled the girl’s lips as she was forced to stare at the treacherous servant. “The enemy lies here at Honno-ji.”

===

For some reason, darkness consumed me after hearing those words. It was like I was kicked out of my body, and cast off into the void. I could feel the contempt in Jubei’s voice, the craze look in his eyes, was screaming that he had been wronged. Why was this happening? I thought we were on the same team of wanting to see Nobunaga succeed in unifying the land... that everyone in this camp were allies.

Ah, perhaps it’s that. He never did like him.

Again, I noticed too late. Maybe if I had said something, and assured him of his place beside Nobunaga’s side... maybe, then maybe--

They were all her servants, maybe if she had been more prudent. Maybe, then maybe--

===

It was uncomfortable. This feeling that was surrounding me. Amid the darkness. A darkness that began to dissipate when she slowly opened her eyes. The blackness that had consumed her previously was quickly being engulfed in licks of red and orange. The heat, along with the oppressing warmth trapped her. Her pulse raced, pupils were dilating as her chest tightened. The scent of smoke wafted to the corner where she found herself subdued by the tightness of ropes. The over all situation was provoking her to scream, and she would have, had another’s fell on deaf ears. Something overrode her own fears.

A familiar voice. Screaming. Crying-- Becoming almost unrecognizable from how hoarse it had become. The scent of blood was not lost in the air either; the metallic, coppery scent that mixed with the suffocating smoke filled her nose and her lungs, making her feel sick right down to the very pit of her stomach.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

Not again.

“Mi--” No. Why was it that when she actually started to care for someone, that person always befell such horrible fate? How was this different from the parents whom she loved dearly, family whom she was forced to watch suffer as they were tortured and burned alive? And all for what? For being mages who found themselves with different practices from those that belonged to a certain organization of purists? “MITSUHIDEEEEEEEEE!” The shout was enough to get his attention, enough to stop his blade from thrusting into the Oda once more.

“So glad that you can join us, master-- or rather, Kiomi.” He said, abandoning his prize for a moment only to approach the abused girl. “I made extra precautions to make sure you dont get in my way.” He said, crouching down in front of her only to tap her cheek, effectively smearing the blood of the aging woman on the mage’s face. “But I’m not a complete monster. I made sure that you didn’t feel a thing.” From her face, right down to her shoulder-- Ah yes. That’s good. that’s a good look on you, master. He touched her right down to her arms-- or at least where it was supposed to be. Where the command seal was supposed to be. The last thing he needed was for her to command him to stop. Or worse, give Lady Oda one last burst of mana for one last hurrah.

“Now, just be a good girl and enjoy the show.” He even sat her up, not minding all the screaming that Kiomi was now doing when she finally realized what she had lost. It wasn’t the pain, but the implications as well as the hate that was coursing through her veins that the yelling was pulled out of her. She called for Mitsuhide repeatedly, but all he afforded her was that crazed look. He had fallen, sunk too deep into this madness that he was beyond redemption, beyond saving. And so was Nobunaga who continued to suffer through the punishment that Jubei inflicted. The girl saw it all. How she tried to bite and scratch at the man whenever he was close enough; how Mitsuhide stabbed her in places that were too far from the comforting arms of death; how he twisted her bones, how she heard them crack, all masterfully done without ever bringing her close to the end-- at least not yet.

When the magus heard Nobunaga’s cries, she felt the tears welling up in her own eyes. “Nobu--Nobunaga did nothing wrong! Stop, stop! Jubei! Stop! Don’t do this! Don’t make this mistake! JUBEIIIII!” Ah, but no amount of screaming reached him. When he forced Nobunaga’s hand to finally commit the act of killing herself, the tears that had welled up fell, the rawness in her throat, she paid no mind to as she repeatedly called for the dying warlord. Cries and calls that were desperate to not go unheard. But it did. No longer did Mitsuhide care to hear her. No longer did Nobunaga respond. Not to her, nor anything around her. Not to the flames. Not to Mitsuhide walking away.

Again, not again. Not again. She was unable to save anyone again.

“Mitsuhide has always been very thorough.” Through Kiomi’s sobbing, she heard someone speak. An eerily familiar tone, an eerily familiar presence. When she looked from the pathetic state that she was in, she was greeted by the domineering, piercing gaze of a familiar face, yet somehow still very different. Maybe she was mistaken, maybe her tears had clouded her sight. But there was a familiar feeling, however distant it may be.

The downcast gaze given to the young master was not unlike that of one pitying a dying dog. As amusing a sight this was, there was nothing worthy of consumption here. A girl plucked too early from the tree. This look and sentimentality that she showcased for the dead, reminded the Demon King of something from long ago. An unsavory bitter taste that didn’t do much for her temperament. This weakness. How unsightly.

“Nobu--” The strange woman cut her off with her gaze. Not even allowing her to utter the name that almost fled her lips. There was nothing too extensive to say to this master. Her struggle had been futile, much like the struggles of the woman that had died at the hands of a supposedly loyal retainer. All these unnecessary emotions, to see it displayed like this was unsatisfying. Disappointing-- and yet, the girl looked at her apologetically. Despite the placid look on the Demon King’s face, this display amused her no more.

So, she decreed to see no more of it.

“Papiyas Metamorphosis.”

===

“GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH--!”

Kiomi jolted to a sit as she woke up screaming, the tears in her eyes falling uncontrollably as the last bits of her memory felt so vividly real. The way her skin burned, the way it smelled, how she was engulfed by a volley of fire, how everything around here seemed to have exploded-- how it left her nothing but a panicked mess, to the point that-- now that she was awake, she struggled to keep the bile from exiting her mouth. She couldn't. Everything hurts, everything burned. Her skin still ached and she felt another scream flee from her lips when the after image of the fire lingered through her vision. Shaking her hands violently, her arms. Her arms were there, intact. It was too much. It wont leave her mind. Her senses.

It hurts, it hurts! Everything was so painful. Not just physically, no. Fire reminded her of everything. What she didn’t want to remember, what she wants buried deep deep down, tucked away. But in just one dream, it was all unearthed, her can of worms opened, dumped on her wounds, and topped with a mountainous amount of salt for that extra sting. How the flames burned the image of her uselessness before her eyes. How she could save no one. How her voice never reaches anyone. How nothing ever associated with her last. How everything important withers away, and dies; burning, turning to ash, leaving her behind.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I couldn’t save anyone. I couldn’t save anyone. I’m sorry, Jubei. I’m sorry, Nobunaga. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” She cried to herself, sobbing further into her solitude. Repeatedly apologizing to air like a broken record.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I couldn’t save you, I couldn’t save the both of you.”

The image of Nobunaga’s passing. The image of Mitsuhide's back growing further and further away. The image of the Demon King turning her back on her--turning into the Nobunaga that she knew, abandoning her for her weakness, her incompetence as a master.

“Don’t leave me. I’m sorry. I’ll do better. I promise.”

She was alone, suffering within the flames of the darkness that her own mind had created.

I’m sorry.

[rqs902]

.

so i watched the two-part first ep of the coming one super band (gosh darn it was long...) and it made me realize it’s been a while since ive watched a non-idol show LOL. overall it was more interesting to watch than i expected. i didnt have high expectations going in bc its not my usual type of show, but i knew i wanted to at least give it a try bc of ljt. i heard about what happened to hjx prior to this, so that put a damper on my spirits, but i still wanted to see how ljt would do. i did not imagine him in a band before this, but now i kind of can. 

i just cried a little inside when zhou zhennan asked liao juntao if zjy talks like mao buyi... oof 

i find it amusing that they all call ljt liao laoshi and he has lots of fanboys hahah and zzn calls him taotao and seems really close to him still

aw the way zzn specifically asks ljt to sing “don’t talk to me”, a song he hasn’t released yet, means they must keep in close contact and ljt shares his music with him, and zzn takes his songs to heart and truly listens and likes them. 

wow zzn really knows ljt’s guitar skills and rhythmic strengths and additional music styles could be demonstrated through this song and he wanted his friend to promote himself better by showing off a new song that may be more captivating to an audience in this type of setting. it really seemed like he was trying to protect and help ljt with genuine care. it’s been three years and the mrzz friendship still going strong warms my heart

OF COURSE THEY WOULD BRING UP “who” IT’S HIS CLAIM TO FAME SONG. and 3 years later, its still an amazing song. one of my favorites. 

also ljt’s quirky personality was one of my favorite characteristics about him. his talent and music goes without saying, he’s one of my favorite (if not my actual favorite) music makers. but his personality also just seems so fun and slightly strange LOL but like the way he pats his chest after each performance like hes calming his nerves (but you cant tell at all while hes singing) is such a contrast. 

UGH watching the montage from mrzz and then his story all the way through zzn’s crying literally brought me to tears.... lang lang saying how he could tell ljt has been through a lot... oh gosh and then those old clips of liao juntao with zhou zhennan, ma boqian, mao buyi, zhong yixuan UGH it just brought back so many memories and then the flashback to where ljt chose to battle meng zikun instead of wang jingli EVEN THOUGH HE KNEW HE WOULD LOSE AND HE HAD A BETTER CHANCE OF BEATING WJL......... aaaaaaahhhhhhhh because he wanted to protect his friends and let them go on to the next round. and never forget xue zhiqian’s heart-breaking “your choice may force you to struggle for another ten years” because he knew ljt was giving up such a rare opportunity. and mby just breaking down watching his friend commit career suicide basically ugh- that just- ughhh 

and the fact that even as a judge now, zhou zhennan just couldnt stop himself from crying when ljt called him “bro”

can you imagine what it’s like to be so close to success and to live the next three years knowing you had just as much capability and possibility as freaking mao buyi and zhou zhennan but you were still left behind, by such a hugely immense degree. to have lost too early on, even though you definitely had the talent to have at least made it to the next round, but you care too much about your friends to force your way through. 

ljt says he doesnt regret, and that is amazing to me. mao buyi and zhou zhennan are literally both judges on shows like this now. and hes still... a contestant.

lol wait i just had a thought, is ljt to super band what zzn was to produce camp? i really hope so. i feel like its inevitable tencent will favor him bc hes already signed to wjjw???? and hes probably the only one who has somewhat public recognition already? i really want ljt to debut as f-man... i cant imagine him on the sidelines. he deserves and needs to be the center of this eventual 5 person band. if wjjw messes him up again im literally going to question everything. 

ive never gone into a show with such a strong bias and desire for that bias to be center -- ive never dared to ask for that -- but ill say it again, ljt NEEDS AND DESERVES it. i didnt realize i felt so strongly about him until now. 

anyway, i can totally see how ljt and szb would get along, they both seem to have such sad stories (and ugh why is ljt so humble) but also how is tencent gonna deal with not having ljt as an f-man tho LOL

ouch watching the he junxiong part made my heart hurt... i heard about what happened, but watching it actually happen was still jarring. him not saying he wants his music to be commercialized, is that a reaction from what happened to “time of youth” ? It did feel like tencent stole that song from him and didnt credit him enough :\ so maybe he’d rather his music be remembered as in he wants to be remembered for his music? i do agree with zzn that hjx didnt sing the song as well as I expected him to this time though... my impression of he junxiong from produce camp was that he has a really nice voice and is really great at making music. but im surprised how much his attitude has changed. but i can understand it must be hard for him to see zzn sitting in front of him and not giving him his support. i guess from there in contrast, ljt’s humbleness is admirable. man, i wonder if/when we’ll see hjx again. tencent’s gonna hate him now lol.......

random but xu yang visually reminds me of yueyue and zhao ke visually reminds me of mu ziyang LOL also, i respect that hu yutong saw ryp was struggling with public speaking and let him go, but then went over to talk to him privately. he didnt want to make him uncomfortable and did his best to be gentle with his tone. but i agree it will be questionable for someone with such strong ideas like hyt to thrive in a group setting. 

there are a couple of kids besides ljt who im interested in, enough that i think ill keep watching this show for now, but also not enough for me to not be miffed that there are SO MANY extra clips/ shows (YET AGAIN) and i just dont want to / dont have time to watch them all just to look for ljt..... and ljt is still the main reason why id watch, so im gonna have to figure out if theres a way for me to just watch the ljt clips lol.................. 

also side note, seeing them do physically strenuous activities like three legged racing in the previews gave me horror flashbacks to afo and im so scarred from that show that seeing stuff like that just makes me super scared thinking that someone is going to get hurt. ugh its just so unnecessary and such a bad idea.  this was one of the worst parts about afo, the fact that the trainees kept getting injured doing dumb activities. why risk injury when your physical ability to do something as arbitrary as a three legged race should have no impact on your ability to succeed in a music competition???? it just seems so unnecessary and just there to add drama. sure it can build teamwork, but there are safer ways to build teamwork that may not lead to sprained ankles or scraped faces (UGH AFO) 

but anyway, if anyone else is actually watching this show, let me know! I saw a few people on twitter, but i dont think its gaining as much traction as an idol show would, since its a band show. 

[punk24]

The Rathiest ManifestoBy. Isaac Rath

The rules are not meant to be just, but meant to be followed out of fear and blindness. Do not do this. Question everything, learn to live for yourselves and not for others. Do not conform to the social normalities. Dare to be free, speak loud and with reason, be heard for who you are and not who society wants you to be. If you follow the will of society you will become just another one of the lifeless drones in which it creates. So dare to be free, be your own person. Live a little, enjoy life you only get one so make it count. If you go to sleep wishing there was something you had done then you have not lived that day to its fullest potential. Life is all about taking those chances, because if you never do then you will always ask what if. “What ifs” are not ok! You cannot say that you have lived life unto its fullest potential when you go to bed and think what if. You need to be able to instead say that you tried and not just thought about it. Be able to say you saw the limits set for you and you pushed past them to new heights. Go places never gone before, become something of greatness but most of all have a purpose. It is when you stop pushing towards your goals or say that something is impossible you truly fail yourself. Don't just become another number. Stand out, let people know you are there. Let your actions be justified by the means yet let your actions stand out in a positive and beneficial way. Sing out loud, dance in the rain, give aid to others. Don't be hindered by “what ifs” and not with regrets. When it comes down to it do you want to be forgotten for nothing or to be remembered for doing something great.

    Find peace in everything let the most hectic of situations become your place of peace and tranquility. Seek out the calm in the storm. Even when life is at its worst look  to something, it doesn't matter what. Just look and realize it may be hectic for me but that rock over there is doing just fine, or that bird that is still merrily chirping tho your life may be hell. There are patterns in everything, when you find yourself so distracted that you cannot even hear yourself think, don’t. Just look for the rhythm the soft unheard melody, the beat of the earth. Everything is vibrating at its own frequency, it may be different from your own vibration so it may be hard to find at first. It is there, you just have to focus. Once found use it and let it yourself synchronize with your own frequency. Let your emotions become entwined with the rhythm whether it is the rush of a train or the pounding of a jackhammer. Find the rhythm and lose track of that which ails you, all that angers you, all that is bringing you down. Lose track of all that rubbish and focus on the good vibrations. Understand that life is not easy, there is no manual or set rules. It will get rough at times but don't let this bring you down focus onward and upward. When everything around you seems as if it is collapsing in on itself just focus on what isn't imploding. People will come and go but you will always have yourself. Don’t lose yourself. Don't let anger, sadness, or any other emotion overcome you. Learn to mellow yourself out. Stay chill and lever lose that. If you can remain calm and collected in the toughest and most testing of situations people will take notice. They will see your ability to look chaos in the face. They will see you are someone who knows what they are doing, someone who has their life under control. But also do not let people take advantage of this. Show people that you will still stand up for yourself. Show them that even though you do not let things get to you, you still deal with them. Handle everything with finesse and grace. Be strong and balanced. Don't back down but don't handle things using anger and malice. Solve your problems with a calm unshaken confidence. It will portray much better to others then any show of anger and force.

Help others. If you see someone that is in need don't just walk by, stop ask what you can do to help. Then help them to the best of your ability. If you were helpless and couldn't do certain things would you not want someone to stop and help you. Whether it is feeding a homeless man on the street or carrying in your neighbors groceries. Don't worry about how busy you are because in the end it doesn't matter. What does matters is is that you went out of your way to help someone out. Be the person people look up to. Donate your time, your resources, whatever you have. no matter how little you have someone out there has less. In doing this you are not only helping others but yourself also, not through anything material but through experience. If you wish to see a change then you must become that change you wish to see. If you want to see a change yet sit idly by no change will come. Change takes action. You may be persecuted, made fun of, or even punished for doing what is right, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still do it. Let your actions speak for you. Not only will you benefit those who you help but you will also gain a friend. For all you know that person you help could go on to do something of greatness.

Don’t cause any unnecessary problems. If someone starts a conflict with you remain calm and talk smoothly. Don't engage in the conflict, but do everything you can to de escalate the situation. Whatever you do, do not make a bad situation worse. When a person becomes aggravated talk calmly to them and comfort them in order to calm them down. If the situation becomes to escalated simply remove yourself from the situation. If the situation does happen to become physical do not hurt them, but protect yourself from injury and de escalate the conflict as quickly as possible. If you are talking with a superior and the conversation begins to escalate continue to treat them with the deserved respect and courtesy dont raise your voice or speak out of turn. It will benefit you more to just stay calm and talk with respect. This will not only help the situation but bring a much more peaceful resolution. Also if your superiors see you deal with a poor situation with dignity and respect it will look better on you for remaining calm. If accused of wrongdoing simply deny the accusations without becoming defensive. When displaying a defensive attitude you become instantly associated with guilt. Therefore if you just simply with a calm demeanor deny the accusation and leave it be. Though if you did do whatever it is you are being accused of do not lie! Tell the truth you will get alot further in life with honesty. Telling the truth is a lot easier because you don't have to remember what you said.   

“The After Life” is a concept used by every culture ever in existance. It’s a principle  started by those on the top used to get the people underneath them to behave. People are told that if you follow certain rules conform to certain aspects of social programming, and to certain things they will they will be rewarded post mortem in the given after live of that religion. Also at the same time people that if they don't do these things they will be punished in a alternative after life for the “wicked” these concepts are then used in the same way to control people into not doing certain things that the top don't want you to do. All forms of religion set these basic statutes to control the behaviors of the people. Therefore making religion a highly flawed system. It is not only just another social hierarchy but it has such ludacris principles and concepts that are not supported or backed up but purely meant to be taken at face value. It is when you stop questioning and start accepting that you fall back in sync with the social normality we so hardly try to steer away from. Therefore making religion strictly meant to keep the people in check and from questioning life for themselves.

Family is not necessarily the people in which you are born to. Your family is the people you choose to surround yourself with. When you make any kind of an emotional bond with a person they are no longer just a friend but bonded as your family. You will take them on with you for the rest of your life, even if you never see them again that emotional bond will remain unbroken. Relationships are very important, from the lady at the store who bags your groceries to the man you pass every morning walking into work. If you maintain a good relationship with the people you come into contact it will be mutually beneficial. For one who doesn't enjoy simple pleasantries and also you never know what that person may be going through at that given time, that simple good morning or wave could be the biggest difference in a person's life. Now romantic relationships fall onto a completely different plane. Whether it is a relationship between a man and a woman, a man and a man, a woman and a woman. It doesn't matter who the relationship is between as long as it is held with respect. Once committed to a romantic relationship however there are certain things you must do and not do. These certain things will very from couple to couple depending on the views of the pair, but what is important is that you discuss with each other guidelines in which make both parties feel comfortable and accepted. By entering into any romantic relationship you are agreeing to certain things. You agree that by entering the relationship you will be respectful and caring towards your partner as well as agreeing to factor their interests and well being into your decisions. If you feel that the relationship is no longer functional then you should first bring this to your significant other. Once you have talked to them try to find a solution and to work things out before you just abandon the time you have put into said relationship. If it just doesn't work out though let your other know it is unfair to both sides if you let things drag on. It is for the best of both that you just handle things then as quickly as possible with as much courtesy for each other and each others feelings as possible.

    War is an unnecessary but once it is occuring do not be ashamed to be of service. There are many ways where you could go into a war but not to cause destruction and chaos but to bring aid and assistance where needed. This will not only help others but yourself in a way as well. Doing this will not only strengthen your body but also your mind. It will put you into situations that will test you mentally, physically, and emotionally. But war in and of itself is an avoidable act all together, through proper diplomacy almost anything can be avoided. If we were to focus on our country's ability to talk things through instead of its ability to shoot through things we could resolve situations with much more ease and grace. When people are put into the line of duty they should be properly outfitted for the task at hand and also told the reason for which they are doing what it is they are doing.When people are told to do things without proper explanation or reasoning they question what it is they are doing and come up with their own answers. That is all well and good you see but when people do this they find answers that may not necessarily be true or even based upon anything of moral backing. Then this will distract them from what is truly going on around them. They then lose focus and it is when you lose focus that people begin to get hurt.    

    Bullying is not ok, but neither is just being a bystander when you see something happening that is wrong You must be the one to step up and do something about it. It is not hard to step up and defend a person it only takes a few easy words. By just simply intervening in the situation and confronting the person of their wrongdoing is all it takes. They may not like it and also may direct their attention onto you but that is ok. If they do turn to you simply roll with it don't take it to heart because the person obviously isn’t worth the time of day. Just end the situation as quickly and calmly as you can. If you are that person being confrontational tho you may want to step back and reevaluate your choices. Whenever you use someone else simply as a means to an end you are using that person in a bad way. Bullying comes in many shapes and sizes, from the kid being pushed in the empty hallway to calling someone a mean name. It may not seem lie bullying to you but nonetheless it still is. You may not even be doing anything on purpose so watch out and just be careful of what you do and say to others.

    Health should be balanced, you should be more than capable to keep yourself healthy and in decent shape. You should be able to at least keep yourself in a point of fitness and health to the point where you aren't a slob. Now this point may differ from person to person and is up to your own interpretation. If you are unable to keep yourself in a basic form of health and wellness then you have a problem. All it takes is some simple nutrition and exercise, nothing that difficult. It helps when we keep the community as a whole in decent shape incase any kind of event were to happen that way everyone is fit enough to come and help out.

    Normality is a senseless formality! There is no such thing as true normal. All that we have is what society sees as normal. What is normal for the spider becomes chaos for the fly, virtually what we see as normal others will always see differently. They’re so many different cultures out there and what is considered normal between one culture will always be different from the next. The normal set by my culture was to go to behave, go to school then graduate, move on to college finish that find a career and settle down. What if we broke that cycle though? Say a kid doesnt feel like school is the place for him where does that leed? It leads to a bunch of uneducated kids who will never do anything. So if school isn't always the best way and not going to school also doesn’t work then what do we do? A system should be set into place where kids all go to school and learn the basics to set a strong foundation to build upon. From there they should not all be taught the same exact thing because this is how we create mindless zombies and a compliant society. They should in turn be given the choice to choose their own curriculum of studies tailored to their own individual needs and challenges. Whether it’s to follow a path of medicine or to become a astronaut. The children should be guided towards their interests and not forced to learn random stuff they will never use again after receiving their diploma. The normality of society suggests that people should not be aloud to think for themselves. Instead they are supposed to follow the instructions and rules set by the corrupt leaders and authority figures of the world. Instead people should be allowed to think for themselves. The way it is now is everybody follows the same system, but when one person steps out and dares to be different they are ridiculed and negated. No this is not how it should be instead they should be praise and encouraged for stepping out and making a change. Without doing this tragedies such as what we saw with Sandy Hook or Columbine will continue to happen. I am not justifying what these people did in any way, what they did was wrong but it was also preventable. These people were the ones who stepped out and dared to be different but instead they were teased and tormented for being “weird and different” causing them to lash out in the ways they did. These things happen because people are denied the freedom to truly think for themselves which causes them to think even more. Then their thoughts turn into schemes and schemes into plots until those plots become actions. If people were just given the option in the first place to be free thinking individuals the consequences would be much less devastating and much more positive.

Anything used in order to make yourself happy should be ok to do as long as it does not hurt you or those around you. If you take a drug and it makes you feel fantastic and great but it is damaging you then don't do this. Self preservation is far more important than any high you may be after. Now if you are doing a drug with no real detriment to you or others then go for it it could not only feel good but could show you things about yourself you never even knew. But if this becomes a habitual thing or the source of your happiness then knock it off, even seek help if you needit. You should not rely on any substance or form of pleasure in order to bring you happiness. So when doing things like this tread lightly don't let it overpower you because that is when you succumb to addiction. Also if these things start to interfere with your everyday life and basic tasks then turn it back a bit, your life and your goals are far more important than any stupid substance you may be consuming.

Beauty, the world is full of beauty all around us. From the sunrise in the morning to the cute girl or boy you can’t get out of your head. It is not hard to find the beauty in your surroundings if you actually take the time to look. If you look at a desk and just see a desk then you need to open up your mind. When I see a desk I not only see a desk but visualize years years of use. From the kids that spent hours doodling upon its hard surface to spilt drinks and years of writings, to the person who fell asleep doing their taxes. You see a desk, I see a piece of history that has been used to fulfill the needs of those who came before, and that is beautiful. Some go out in search of beauty which I can’t blame them for, because there are sights to be withheld out there that will make your stomach twist into knots, but if you want to see something beautiful you don’t have to go far. All you have to do in order to see something beautiful is look. You can find beauty in almost anything, just look at anything and let your imagination do the rest. Like the little kid splashing through puddles, the shimmering rock glistening through the water of a stream, or the man holding the door for the lady he has never met. This is beauty at its purest sheer unadulterated elegance showing through simple daily events. Now one of the most beautiful things out there is true love. People often express different opinions on love, some say you only find it once were others say it comes and goes as it pleases. Either way no matter how you look at it love is still a beautiful and powerful force. A force strong enough to make men cross oceans and declare all out war. Now if you look at life for how beautiful it truly is you will begin to realize just how much you’ve missed out on. You will become less shallow and see people for their beauty instead of focusing on their flaws. People are so full of immense beauty from the way they act and look to the silly look that creeps across their face without their knowledge, to the very molecular makeup of their being. Beauty is everywhere you just have to know how to find it and what to look for.

Once the people of the world realize just how cheated they have been it will go into a state of disrepair, but people will never realize just how mistreated they they are because it is just the way things have always been. If that spark were ever to be lit though people would begin to realize that they are being treated as prisoners of their of private little prisons. We in America are not a policing nation police roam the streets looking for people to stop at random and charging them with unjust charges. The way it should be is the police should remain at their respected precincts until a need for them arises. Say a crime happens or their is an event that needs organization then it would be appropriate for a police presence. Instead they are out and about brutalizing civilians and taking our hard earned money for minor infractions to already unjust laws. If people knew there could be another option it would happen very quickly, but they don't so everything remains the way it has “always been.” Although police are very beneficial in many ways a person should no feel a sense of fear and anxiety when seeing a cop. A person should feel  a sense of security and safe when they see a officer and not a sense of paranoia. A good amount of conflict between police and pedestrians is caused by this sense of paranoia. They say your acting funny and paranoid, but who wouldn't be when a big dude with a gun is confronting them? I know I damn sure wouldn’t be acting normal once confronted by officer whether i was doing something wrong or not.

Now to anyone reading this, this is not meant to make you feel guilty or bad in anyway. This paper is meant to be a tool, a resource to help you better yourself and see things from a new light. I am no great man or world leader. I am just The Rathiest a guy with a computer and thoughts in his head. You may agree completely with everything i say, a portion of what i say, or even none at all. That is not the point, the point of this is just meant to give some perspective and a look into the thoughts and ideals into which another person sees the world. If you agree with the things i say then great take it to heart and try to better yourself. If you disagree and find this offensive well oh well suck it up and get over it. I am just a guy with thoughts and ideas nothing more nothing less. This paper is just basically a explanation of the way i see the things around me and why I do the things that i do. This is the Rathiest writing to you from somewhere in North America, i hope you get something from this and are able to take parts of this with you on your journey that is life. If not oh well you wasted fifteen minutes reading some crazy ramblings, I could think of worse ways of spending your time. Good luck and good vibes.

-The Rathiest