#but doesn't tell them he has/used to have a twin . so they only start to figure things out once they come over a few times

[ohcroculus]

it's a boy or a girl? ── CALL OF DUTY MEN

included: simon riley, john mactavish, john price, kyle garrick, alejandro vargas, rodolfo parra, könig and keegan p. russ (paired with fem!reader).

summary: how many children would they have? boys or girls? would they retire to have their families?

wc; 0.6k

possible misspelling, sorry!

simon 'ghost' riley: only one daughter named grace. he retired when she was about two years old –even though he had already stayed home before, this time was permanent. his daughter has his hair, but your smile. she’s polite and not too rebellious. she's very empathetic and kind to others. she always put post-its in the mirror of the bathroom to make your day better.

john 'soap' mactavish: he would have two sons born just a year apart. regardless of the games' timeline, he probably planned to retire young and live in the countryside with his family. his sons have the same personality as him and are nicknamed "bubble one" and "bubble two" by everyone who knows them. name's callum and owen. he was wishing for a girl next.

john price: i just can't picture him as the father of boys, so i'll say it. one single daughter that he spoils way too much. probably named victoria or danielle. "his little elle". he bought her a car when she finished college and always ask her if she needs money. at least she's a nice girl at school even if he spoils her rotten. took his eyes and his smile and is always posting pictures in her instagram with you two. trends on tiktok too. he's not thinking about retiring yet.

kyle 'gaz' garrick: one son who reached age fourteen and then, suddenly, another boy appeared —one who talks too much and always follows his older brother around. the older one is named jayden. the younger one likely has a name that you choose. thinking about retiring when the young one finished elementary school. the most relatable thing he does with the kids? watch soccer and scream at the tv.

alejandro vargas: twin girls who look just like him. it annoys you because you were betting since the gender reveal about who's genes were stronger. their names are ximena and citlalli. yes, he does ask if they won any fight they had at school— funny thing that they're opposites. his family by mother side had already a thing with twins. he retired when both of them were about to start college to help you at house.

rodolfo 'rudy' parra: either he has no kids, or he has one older son and one younger daughter. mateo and renata separated by two peaceful years (y'know that first baby that makes you want to have another one and then the second is born and you realize why don't you want more? well, that was what happened here). a real headache because they're always fighting, and he blames your side of the family since he turned out calm. he learned not to do anything unless the house goes completely quiet. not thinking about retiring yet.

könig: four kids because he doesn't want any of them to feel lonely. three boys and one girl —but the girl is the oldest. you picked her name because könig passed out in the delivery room –yes, he had seen worse. but the first pregancy came with problems and he couldn't breath in the hospital–. he named the second and third kids himself, and their names go perfectly with your last name –most likely, könig uses your surname, so your children do too.

keegan russ: he has only one son who's so quiet it makes him nervous. when the boy started walking, keegan put bells on him because he kept hiding. i can totally see him choosing a name that starts with “k” just because it fits the vibe— maybe kenneth. one time when you went out he didn't tell you, but he had to look all through the house after realizing little kenny flushed the bells down the toilet and was hiding. he's a mama's boy because keegan is not thinking about retiring soon.

a/n: probably will take a while to write about the series, but yup, family series bc i want fluff.

[starberry-cupcake]

THIS IS IT!!! THE FINAL ONE!!! at least, for know...

previously, in nona ice cube barbie del 9 de la tumbita:

this happened

this is the whole tlt journey minus some gideon messages I sent @lady-harrowhark and live as screenshots in her blog, because we didn't know what this would become at that time

kinda regret not being as thorough from the start, because I'm pretty sure gideon is my favorite book of the 3

someone left me a comment about that, about my lack of being thorough for gideon, and I'm sorry, I didn't know back then T_T

now, get ready for...THE UNWANTED GUEST

the title immediately reminded me of one of the edward gorey books I physically own

this one's written as a theater play, just in time for the tonys

(I haven't been able to trade for anything yet :( 👢)

I want to take a moment and send my respect and appreciation to the head editor of this book series

I want to hold their hands and look them in the eyes and tell them to hang in there

because this author can't just not do everything at all times

being an editor is a thankless job most times, because a good editor has to be invisible

people only notice us when a mistake is unchecked, but when the job is well done, the editor doesn't get noticed

and these books are insane to edit, especially as an ongoing series, because of how much they change all the time, in register, in format, in pov, etc.

Carl Engle-Laird, I appreciate your work, thank you for what you do

you are doing great and working very hard

(I'm supremely jealous of how English speaking authors have platforms like Tor and Strange Horizons and ClarkesWorld and Beneath Ceaseless Skies)

ANYWAY, WE'VE GOT A PLAY

the scene and stage situation is giving me sucker punch vibes

robed figures are feeding something in a coffin with meat

or kissing the person, we don't know

the last one to come in is our dear beloved friend palmolive, who's looking less sharp than the other figures

in the coffin, yandere twin sits up and says "you're fucked, my lad"

then, we change scene

I think someone had told me in the recap where I mentioned palmolive getting inside chad's body (we'll talk about that) that this story was about that

so I had an idea, but it's still nice to see what happened

any time I get to see a sixth house person kicking some other house's ass, either physically or intellectually, it's a good day for me

next scene we see yandere twin in an alfred pennyworth cosplay, by a fireplace

and palmolive comes in looking like a tattered professor plum

so maybe yandere twin is tim curry

tim curry butler yandere twin alludes to palmolive having been there earlier, and he says he's "all the gentlemen who called earlier"

then, palmolive starts giving a monologue on how annoying the passive aggressive "if you'd be so good as to wait here" is

kinda loving the play situation going on here

it's very immersive for the scene and also matches how dramatic yandere twin is

yandere twin then comes in dressed as yvette

palmolive continues roasting yandere twin's passive aggressive-ness, because someone has to

yvette!yandere twin leaves and tim curry!yandere twin comes back

this is starting to remind me of that scene in peter pan goes wrong where the same actress plays mrs darling and the maid

kills me every time

the coffins are back and so is yandere twin with an open shirt, leather pants and a clutch bag

she says he doesn't have much time, pointing at the fact that palmolive's suit is tattered and falling apart

he's unmoved

kinda love yandere twin having to be confronted to someone who is unmoved by the way she talks and counteracts with objective facts and simple humor

so, because yandere twin is bored and, when she's bored, she makes it everyone's problem, she decides to play a game

palmolive has 5 questions to ask, not related directly to either chad or his body's whereabouts, to find out where said body is

if he does figure it out, he gets to control it

he also gets one less question because he asks "are you going to play fair?" and yandere twin is the way that she is

when I read the gideon book I kinda felt bad for her being ostracized and pushed aside a lot but now I kinda get it a bit

palmolive exits the curtain and a voice starts talking back to him

so, it wasn't just a monologue

these books with their hidden characters around the corners

the voice tells palmolive to try to ask questions that can give him psychological insights of yandere twin's position, instead of questions that give him facts, because she will never provide facts

voice person also makes a comment about yandere twin deciding to flash the audience so much

palmolive's first question, when he's back on the stage, is whether yandere twin believes in the permeability of the soul

there is a coffin rearrangement

yandere twin is disappointed and asks why he didn't ask anything r rated

allos, am I right?

palmolive says that "in the Sixth, pillow talk is a science"

I wanna read fic written by Sixth House folk, actually

he re-frames the question to clarify that he wants to know whether she thinks the soul can be altered or deformed by external sources

they agree on that because of the way in which revenants work

so palmolive is like "if it can change irreversibly, then it should be able to lose parts of itself over time"

and yandere twin says no

not because she thinks it over, but because that's what lyctors gamble their cavaliers for

nobody's so intent on believing something than someone who doesn't want to be wrong

she uses augustine as evidence and says she's thankful he didn't live to see this conversation

I personally would love palmolive to intellectually kick lyctor ass

even more so than he's already done it

also, love the assumption that the lyctors knew what they were doing at any given time

the fact that someone was wrong for ten thousand years doesn't make them less wrong

palmolive says that just because it happens slowly and nobody has looked at it, it doesn't mean it can't happen

I'm high-fiving palmolive in my head at that

yandere twin's only argument is that she is a lyctor and he's not, which 1) doesn't prove anything and 2) just you wait, bitch

he goes back to the voice confessionals and the voice calls him "babe", at which point I'm lost at to who this is

the voice also says this doesn't look like camilla's idea

the voice is correct on that and also on the fact that yandere twin is putting on an act, something the voice calls their "topic of expertiese"

because if yandere twin was so much of a wild party girl, she wouldn't have been the way she was back at the Third and become a lyctor

voice says yandere twin is trying to manipulate palmolive by giving him what he wants and not what would serve his purpose

palmolive says he's not good at yandere twin questions which...I don't know who can be

maybe augustine, he had a similar vibe

voice says they believe in palmolive and he says "You didn't always. I had to fight for that"

palmolive goes back and announces he has a new question and yandere twin says that it's like playing strip poker with harrowcita

and she "hopes it doesn't awaken anything in her"

as if she hasn't been on that camp for a couple books already

the question is *drum roll*

"Do you regret the murder of Naberius Tern?"

WHAT A QUESTION, HUH?

the robed figures hit the lid of their coffin because they're also very interested

when yandere twin tries to avoid the question, palmolive gets all ace attorney

which is like, a lot of energy out of nowhere and very funny

yandere twin is all like "cavaliers are meant to die for us" and palmolive goes "if it comes to that, you insensitive gremlin"

not in those words

she goes "this is why harrow and I are lyctors and you're not" and I'm like

GIRLLLLLLLLLL

I WAS THERE I SAW WHAT HAPPENED

HARROW DID NOT WANT GIDEON TO IMPALE HERSELF FOR LYCTORHOOD

SHE GOT A BRAIN HAIR CUT TO FORGET WHAT HAPPENED AND EVERYTHING

also, it's cool to know this now, after we know of camolive paul atreides's existence, because we know there WAS a different way forward and it's a BETTER way to reach the same sort of state

yandere twin calls palmolive a "purse-mouthed sophist", which I think is very funny, actually

she also says that chad was a very good source of drama because he got cheated on a lot

palmolive says he's surprised because he was very pretty

he says "good looking" but, same difference

yandere twin goes "Was he your type, Sextus?"

I'VE BEEN SAYING

YOU WERE HERE YOU KNOW I'VE BEEN SAYING

THERE'S POTENTIAL THERE

I mean, I know palmolive is too far gone on og!dulcinea and whatever but

it has the same energy that coronabeer and judith have for me

the nerd and the popular kid, this dynamic

I'm weak for that

ANYWAY yandere twin says that chad was loyal to coronabeer more so than her

I honestly was never quite able to understand the dynamic with chad and yandere twin, but that's for them to figure out now huh

she also starts roasting other necro and cav pairings and calls out abby for having magnus as her cav

"Look where that got her"

she actually did a lot, but you weren't there to see it, yandere twin, you were in the emperor's bolthole making a lot of drama about your arm

palmolive goes back to the off stage voice, who compares chad to a "perfect tool", which got me laughing

then, the voice goes "Cam would have smiled at 'perfect tool'"

it was funny

then, palmolive starts smoking

?????????????????????????????????????

voice person and palmolive as are shocked as I am

my theory is that it's a yandere twin thing, but we'll see

voice person tells palmolive to make the next question a good one, because he's running out of options

he says "I wish I had more time to think" and voice goes "Oh, you used to say that a lot"

👀

the next question, the one that's meant to be super important, is:

"What did you make of Gideon Nav?"

I do think that is a very important, crucial question, actually

yandere twin starts roasting every house for free

she calls abby and magnus "dull and stupid" which is absolute slander and a terrible lie

and says that gideon was not the ninth vibe because she was like an overeager dog, which is quite correct

"She wandered around like she was the protagonist and we were all there to give her something to look at"

palmolive says gideon was smarter than she even thought, which is very nice of him to say

yandere twin doesn't act like she's a fan of gideon or the way she fights

says she uses the sword like a racquet

if you'd watch prince of tennis, you'd know that's a compliment

voice person says they would have liked to know gideon

palmolive says he liked her when he got over being jealous of her

I kinda forgot the whole not!dulcinea and gideon situationship that palmolive had to go through, believing she was og!dulcinea

kinda wild camilla didn't try to murder not!duclinea right out of the gate with all the history and how not!dulcinea made it seem like she didn't care about palmolive's entire devotion to saving her life

it would have been a shorter book

camilla killing a lyctor two days into canaan house and going "what, like it's hard?"

voice person calls palmolive "my child"

"babe" and "my child" is a wild combination of pet names

palmolive's starting to sound like sugar baby

he says he didn't like chad much and he probably wouldn't have liked him, even if he got to know him better, but he doesn't deserve to be puppeteered like this

keep your mind open for enemies to friends to lovers, palmolive

voice person quotes shakespeare

hamlet, specifically

palmolive hasn't read it, which I respect, because I haven't read a lot of shakespeare either

and then we get the big reveal

that mysterious pov

is

OG!DULCINEA

I totally forgot she had told harrow she had something to tell her

and that she'd like to drift into nothingness

which might be what happens to her here

"Palamedes, the very best of Palamedeses"

best of wives and best of women

"Truly, wonderful news for my haters"

I'm gonna stay silent on that

my hate was towards not!dulcinea, I don't know this one as much

don't appreciate her inserting herself into a sixth polycule, saying camilla has to cook, though

take your turbonerd and leave camilla alone

but she does she say they were her friends and she loved them, and that there's freedom in never being completed

so, before turning herself into confetti into the ether, palmolive asks to see her for the first time

palmolive quotes the bible, very dr reverend emperor john of him

and when og!dulcinea asks him if she was cute, he says she's perfect

what else was he going to say? the man is smitten and all that

so, palmolive asks the very best of the questions, for drama points

whether yandere twin would have used coronabeer for lyctorhood if there was no other choice than her

yandere twin wants to escape the question by saying coronabeer isn't a good cav and doesn't fight well

which is kinda bs, as we know

palmolive asks what she would have done then, if chad had died prematurely

and she says she would have gone for martita instead

but palmolive continues and gives her a scenario in which she wouldn't have been able to do that

but yandere twin doesn't want to hypothetically kill coronabeer

and palmolive goes "there are costs that even Ianthe Tridentarius won't pay in pursuit of her goal. Or...Cornoabeth herself is part of your goal. You can't spend her, because you'd invalidate the very thing you were trying to buy".

palmolive says he gets one more question, and it can be just a yes or now answer

if yandere twin can't answer, then he wins, if she can, he loses

he also says that he's been inside her head enough to know she never does anything either decent or polite, which checks out

the question is:

"Do you know where Naberius Tern's body is?"

he says he's suspected since the suit and purple tie but the cigarettes were the moment he started really paying attention

because he doesn't know how to smoke and wouldn't even know where to start

he also points out the comment where she said gideon used her sword like a racquet and the fact that yandere twin wasn't present to see gideon fight

especially with the way in which yandere twin was upset at gideon's lack of propriety in dueling, which palmolive says she would have found funny rather than irritating, to know chad got decked

the first question was, he says, the crucial question, because she isn't accepting what is happening, which is that souls are permeable, and that's how palmolive picked up cigarettes and trash talk

all the while they've been opening coffins and all of the ones they open are empty

palmolive says that they're intermingling, the souls, until they become unable to separate from one another

"There is no body left to find, Ianthe. Or, as I gather, they call you now...Ianthe Naberius"

palmolive leaves and yandere twin opens the final empty coffin

mic drop from the sixth

SO

this explains why yandere twin was smoking when they found her in the cave

I thought that was a habit she picked up due to stress, but apparently, it's a chad-ism

this also sort of gives some context to camolive paul atreides and how they intermingled their souls voluntarily, creating a new person rather than this sort of thing that's going on here

it also gives some complicated perspectives on the lyctors and makes me think what things from their cavs they were integrating and whether anyone noticed

the og!gideon and pyrrha situation means there was a way to separate the two, or for one to die and leave the other, but she's the only one who got there

there's a lot we don't know because dr reverend emperor john didn't care enough to ask

like one of the best movies ever made says, they were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should

AND THAT'S IT FOR TLT AS OF NOW!!! I have an ask meme thingy to do that @lady-harrowhark shared and I'll see if I do some other things here and there to keep this alive, but I can finally now look at posts, I guess!! Until the next book rolls around!!

Thank you for sharing this journey with me and being so patient and respectful. Especially for not saying anything for over a year when I said the ice cube barbie thing and you all knew I was right for totally random reasons. You're the best! ♥

[superkooku]

More complaints about the Atalanta retelling

(I included the myth versions' tags because I'm using them for comparison).

I've kept thinking about the Atalanta retelling and am wondering how it's gonna tackle Asclepius' death.

Because if the whole book doesn't subvert my expectations and stays in the "Apollo doesn't even acknowledge his existence" interpretation all the way through, it's impossible to get anything similar to what he did in the myths.

Let's be real, Apollo would never provoke his father in the most direct way possible -other than physically assaulting him- JUST for an offspring he doesn't care about. He would probably shrug it off and accept godly laws.

He wouldn't cry a river and unleash all of his anger for a child whose presence he didn't deem necessary to cherish before it was too late. Mind you, Apollo is the god of prophecy and even without that, he doesn't have the memory of a goldfish (contrary to Theseus).

He KNOWS his demi-god children aren't eternal, he has already experienced loss of the mortals he cared about and he felt extremely upset all these times.

He was at multiple of his children's sides and many sources cite him crying over their deaths, which makes sense since he raised and loved them.

Zeus knows it, everyone knows it. I think that's why he didn't take Apollo's action as an act of extreme mutiny but only as a calculated revenge for his boy Asclepius. And that's why he accepted Leto's plea to not send him in Tartarus instead of deducing he'd be too great of a threat to his status as a king. That's also why he ends up forgiving his son and not being wary of any tyrannical overthrowing.

Because that's NOT Apollo's motives.

(yes, I know about that other myth where Apollo tries to do it with fellow Olympians but it's an independent telling that has nothing to do with the Asclepius situation)

So if this retellings version doesn't try to regularly watch over Asclepius' growth and teach him stuff (as his father AND the protector of young boys in general), then why would Apollo even go as far as killing cyclopes and risking Zeus's wrath ?

Sorry if I overfocus on this ONE flaw in the retelling but I saw it coming from miles away and I absolutely despise it. I feel like Asclepius' death will be handled in a very underwhelming way.

Unless Apollo suddenly changes his mind and goes around his son more often to start loving him. But then the question would be, why now ? Why only at this instant ? Why not directly from the start ?

Just to be clear, the author wouldn't have needed to change ANYTHING from the storyline and still could've made Apollo be present for his son.

Yes, it would've made the parallel of Atalanta and Asclepius both being motherless AND fatherless impossible, but even then, do you know what other parallel would've worked ?

One growing with Artemis' favor and the other with Apollo's !!! Showing their relationships and proximity with each of the Delian twins, while both gods get to be fleshed out, instead of Artemis occasionally appearing and Apollo being a ghost.

Plus it's yet another reason to give them a platonic sibling-like relationship. Having fraternity as a central theme would've been so cuuuuute 😍. And Atalanta could still love her chosen family.

If the author didn't want Apollo to interact with Atalanta, it would've been so simple to show him communicating with Asclepius in private or through his dreams ! So Atalanta could still dislike Apollo like in the OG version while keeping a more myth-accurate interpretation.

Anyways, I'm salty now :( . I love these two so much and am super upset that the retelling didn't seize the opportunity to make something cool. It's so easy it makes me even more annoyed.

[hoofpeet]

Re: archeops imitating voices: what if it learned to say cute things like “hello”, “wanna treat?” And “I love you”

Ough.. I feel like having a large & dumb bird be able to talk could backfire in some ways

[cosmic-dust-poltergeist]

Pt. 4 of the clone/reincarnation au. The bats find out Danny can be scary.

[Pt 3 here] [Pt 5 here]

Tim is pissed and terrified. He's frantically trying to find a way out of the current situation without Danny regressing on all his progress.

Danny had been with their family for almost 2 years and had come such a long way from the scared kid he was in the beginning. He's going to therapy and can handle interacting with people in general without help. He still tends to cling to familiar people in new situations, but it doesn't have to be Tim or Cass. He goes to school now as Damian's "under socialized and traumatized twin". The official story is that he was separated from Damian, then abused and denied a proper education because he was the second born as well as a meta. It's a believable story between the batfam and Danny's own behavior. But Danny has gotten so much better!

Sure, Danny still has some major issues and won't admit to having someone else's memories, but he's actively working on the former and the batfam is figuring out how to bring up the later without spooking the kid. Tim's not sure if Danny thinks they believe his flimsy excuses over weird comments or the constellations in his room that don't exist or not, but no one wants to push him. It's obvious he had a family that is all now dead, and he was experimented on until he died in the 90s or early 2000s, before he was somehow reincarnated or something into a clone's body. The running theory is that Lazarus waters were used to prolong his original life before he was tortured to death, and his soul or something got connected to the pit somehow during that time, so when that same pit water was then put in a soulless husk, Danny's essence started changing it to reflect that. It took a year and a half to get a blood sample from Danny without him panicking, but the result? Danny's blood's "plasma" is concentrated Lazarus waters, it's "purer" and thicker than the normal stuff. They had to keep their questions and tests light because the moment they commented on his weird blood, Danny had the largest meltdown he had in months, so currently, most of their theories are theoretical. Kid has a LOT of medical trauma.

But Tim is getting off topic. The reason he's freaking out is because the family got caught as civilians. It was supposed to be a nice day out. Tim, Bruce, Damian, Dick, and Danny were out at the mall. Jason was supposed to meet up with them for lunch since it was just a bonding trip. But they can't have nice things.

The only plus side of this situation is Jason hadn't arrived. And this is a plus, because the kidnappers? Joker and his goons.

It was an awful coincidence, even Joker looked surprised to see he had the Waynes. Dick, Damian, and Bruce do their best to keep the mad man's attention away from Tim and Danny. Danny's trembling form is pressed to Tim's back.

"Why does it have to be clowns? Why does it have to be clowns?" Danny is mumbling hysterically. Tim doesn't think Danny has interacted with any sort of clown while with them. Clowns are hard to come by in Gotham for obvious reasons. Meaning this is a Before trauma.

"Tell a different jok-" Dick is cut off by being hit in the face. He yelps as his nose breaks with an audible crunch and starts cursing up a storm.

Tim blocks out his family's shouting and the Joker's taunting to focus on Danny. The kid completely frozen when Dick yelped.

"Danny?" Tim whispers, only to have a gun pulled on him.

"Got something to say, brat?"

"N-no." Tim is panicking, Danny is no longer pressed into his back.

"Good. Now- What the fuck???" The goon clown's stupid face is drawn into a look of horror as he looks over Tim's shoulder.

Tim chances a look over his shoulder to find a terrifying and massive creature where his sweet little brother is supposed to be. And as Tim studies it's starry void figure, all long limbs, eerie glowing, low hissing, what looks like a crown of ice, and face of beautiful pulsing stars that move with it's expression, he KNOWS this IS his baby brother. He briefly wonders if this is how he looked Before, before remembering the gunmen.

"Shit! Don't shoo-!" Tim isn't fast enough and watches in horror as the clowns fire at Danny. His terror is for nothing though as Danny turns them both intangible til the gunfire stops. Then, his feral void creature of a brother attacks. Mauling every single clown in his sight. And Tim can respect that.

He does desperately need to get out of his binds though. Danny is going to have such a massive relapse in his ability to trust them not to hurt him because of this, and Tim takes his job as Danny's "security person" seriously. He NEEDS to be there when Danny is done taking care of the clowns.

"Re-replacement?" Tim has never been so happy to hear Jason's Red Hood mechanical voice.

"Get me untied NOW" Tim spins and demands. "He's terrified, Jay!"

"What?" Jason is totally bewildered, but complying. "Where's Danny?"

"Mauling clowns." Tim grimaces, really hoping no one dies. Danny would be devastated if he accidentally killed someone in his panic.

"THAT'S Danny???"

"Yes. Now shut up. Untie the others and help them check on everyone. I'm going to make sure our little brother doesn't have a complete breakdown that puts us back to square one." Tim tells him and starts booking it after Danny, following the trail of decimated goons. When he catches up, Danny is slamming Joker into the ground and freezing him there. Tim grabs an abandoned gun and shoots the remaining goons in the kneecaps while edging closer.

Danny says something in a language Tim has only heard when Danny is deliriously tired. Tim chucks the gun as far away from them as he can before stepping closer with his hands raised. He projects as much of his concern and thankfulness and love for Danny into his body as physically capable.

"Danny, we're safe now. You kept us safe, kiddo."

There's another gargle of his unknown language before his form shrinks then with great big flash Danny is back to his tiny fae-like form. Tim shoots forward when Danny begins to sway and wraps his little brother in a hug.

"T'm.." Danny slurs.

"I got you. I got you." Tim mutters. It's a little awkward since Danny is only just shorter than him, but Tim picks Danny up in a princess carry, tucking the kid's face in his shoulder and booking it back to their family.

"Tim?? Danny??" Dick shouts, and Danny flinches, sending Tim into his own feral spiral. He literally bares his teeth when the others get too close, making them all pause. They luckily recognize his tales. He's had a lot of feral episodes in front of them since Danny. "Okay. Okay. We'll stay right here, Timmy."

"I'm taking him home."

"Okay... I'll have Alfred pick us up." Bruce easily accepts.

"We'll deal with the cops, Drake." Damian is eyeing Danny with a heartwarming amount of concern. Too bad Tim is too keyed up to appreciate how cute the little demon is being.

Tim takes off again without a word, bundling Danny into the passenger seat of the car they took to get here. Once he's all buckled in, Tim jumps in the drivers seat and peals out of there. He's glad this car isn't a manual because it means Tim can gently reach over and take Danny's trembling hand. He rubs soothing circles with his thumb.

"You're okay, kiddo, I'll keep you safe." Tim mutters to him. "Even if I have to fight the world. I will keep you safe."

Danny starts crying softly somewhere along the way back to the manor. Tim REALLY wishes Cass wasn't in Hong Kong right now.

"Movie, music, or quiet?" Tim asks, starting the breakdown protocol they set up together. It's basically just give Danny comfort options to focus on and tapping or holding up fingers to indicate his choices. Danny taps Tim's hand twice.

"Snacks or no snacks?" 2 taps

"Water, juice, or tea?" 3 taps

"Alfred's choice or do you have something in mind?" 1 tap

"Am I or you showering first? I want to get the clown cooties off me." This time there's a tiny giggle with the tap.

"Should I stay in the room talking or such I wait outside?" The hand in Tim's grips his hand so hard he's sure he heard his bones creek, but he keeps all signs of pain off his face. A single tap.

They pull into the driveway and find Alfred standing in the doorway. Tim quietly greets him as they climb out of the car.

"I hate to ask, but could you make us some tea before you leave? We'll be in Danny's room once we're both cleaned up."

"Of course, young master. Your father and siblings will be otherwise engaged for a while. I do not have to leave for another 20 minutes at the very least and I shall have it ready in 10."

"You're a lifesaver!" Tim cheers before picking Danny up in another princess carry. Danny simply clings to him and let's him. "Do you want one of my hoodies for tonight?"

There's a nod pressed to his shoulder. While Danny is nearly as tall as Tim, he's significantly thinner and lighter, so he still drowns in Tim's hoody. The kid doesn't want to be a vigilante the way the rest of them are. He rather be the guy in the chair or upgrading the bat tech. He doesn't find the appeal in punching criminals and his bouts of being nonverbal being his excuses when asked about it. Which is valid, but Tim knew there was more to it.

Bruce actually shed happy tears over one of his kids not wanting to fight crime and being safe.

Tim walks them through their routine. It makes Danny relax bit by bit. He's nearly completely calm by the time they're comfortably shut in the small space of Danny's bed, tea sitting on the small shelf that was part of the bunk bed's original frame, Tim's phone is playing soft music from than same shelf, and fairy lights casting the whole inclosed space in a soft light. Tim cuddles this poor kid close, but is careful to not get in the way of his iPad.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" Tim whispers.

[I guess I have to now..]

"You don't. Sure, I'd appreciate if you told me, but I love you more than my need for answers." They fall back into silence as Danny thinks about it. Tim refuses to rush him and it rewarded for it.

[You knew there was more going on than a mutation, didn't you?]

"Yes.. You're not always as subtle as you think you are."

[My sister, Jazz, said the same.]

"Older siblings, so long as they're doing their job, are bound to realize something is up." Tim smiles. Committing the new name to memory.

[Yeah...] Danny sniffles a little. [I have memories from a life before I was a clone.]

"I know." Danny whips his head around to stare at Tim with wide eyes. "You let little things slip, and I am nothing if not diligent in knowing my precious people and keeping them safe."

[Stalker] Danny gives him a teasing smile, and Tim playfully pretends to be wounded, before Danny looks serious again and Tim matches the energy. [I lived for about 15 years before the 2 I've been here. I am actually Damian's age, despite how I behave.]

"Trauma does funny things to people. I don't see any reason we couldn't indulge you and make you happy."

[I have several theories about why I regress. One is good ol' trauma, but the other is because my core is only 3 years old.]

"Core?"

[All infinite realm beings and some liminals have a core. It's basically your entire being and all your organs in one. It's the most intimate thing to expose your core to someone. And if you crack a core, that's attempted murder/murder depending on how bad it is.] Danny pauses before adding [The core is your everything and will use ectoplasum to create a physical representation and use powers. The buzzing Jon and Kon heard was my core, it's what gave me powers, and I'm positive it's why I no longer look like Damian.]

"Huh...I thought your soul got tied to the Lazarus Pit or something."

[Not far off. Lazarus Pit is corrupted ectoplasum. But my core was implanted into this body by my mentor.]

"Who?"

[Clockwork. He keeps the time safe. He tried to help me, but he's very busy and the observers mess with him to keep him from noticing something is wrong.] Danny fiddles with his stylus. [He was devastated when he found what was left of me in that lab. They did so many experiments before cutting my human body to shreds til I was just my core. But I'm not a normal ecto entity who can heal from losing their body. Their bodies are just ectoplasum, they can regenerate what they need and reform.]

Tim runs a soothing hand over Danny's arm.

[But I'm an abomination even to ecto entities.]

"How so?"

[The way my core formed was unusual. I was a mostly normal human until I was 14. I was just a stupid kid showing his friends his insane parents' lab. My parents were walking OSHA violations on a good day, and I was just a kid growing in a delicate situation.]

Tim had a sick feeling, knowing this wasn't a good memory.

[One second I was just the town weirdos' completely human kid, the next I had most of the city's power grid electrocuting me to death while a portal to the infinite realm opened on top of me, flooding me with ectoplasum, that revived me. Over and over and over and over again til suddenly I was able to escape, but the damage was done. I was suddenly something called a Halfa. Not truly a human, nor truly an ecto entity. Both and neither.]

"Damn, I'm guessing neither party accepted you."

[Not at first. When "ghosts" started escaping and hurting humans, not always realizing that's what they're doing, I was the only one that could do anything. So I did. I became a vigilante. It didn't go smoothly at first, but eventually I understood them and property damage decreased drastically. Only the script flipped and suddenly there was a government agency and my ghost hating parents hunting all ghosts. Nothing and no one was safe and I had to step up again to keep people who hated me safe.]

"They caught you." It wasn't a question, but Danny nods all the same.

[I got caught. I had less rights than a lab rat. I don't want to think about all that happened there, but they eventually slowly started cutting away my human body. But I'm a halfa. I need a human body and my core was a mere infant. That's when Clockwork finally found me. He apologized over and over to my core while trying to find me a new body that was soulless. He told me he'd find somewhere I'd be safe. And next thing I know I was in this body, in an entirely new dimension, and being told to KILL my template?? I was really relating to Dani (my clone sent to kill me) on the way to that roof. I knew I couldn't kill Damian, I never want to kill anyone, but I was still curious enough to go looking. And you know the rest.]

"I'm sorry about how hard your life has been. You didn't deserve any of that. It's okay to be absolutely wrecked after everything that happened."

[Thanks]

"One last question. What was that form earlier?"

[It's new. I guess I have 3 forms now? There's this one obviously, but I also have one that looks like how I used to look. It has all my scars, but is more powerful. I don't like looking at it. Too much hurt. And now I have the one you saw. It felt like a physical manifestation of my obsession of space and my need to protect. Obsessions can influence how an ecto entity looks. A ghost's obsession is everything to them and can get depressed or violent when denied fulfilling it. Indulging in it heals, sooths, and powers them.]

"Not hard to guess yours." Tim teases before pushing the iPad away and putting Danny's cup of tea in his hands. "Thank you for telling me. I know it was hard for you."

Danny shrugs. They drink their tea is silence for a while before Danny yawns, making Tim yawn.

"Guess this means naptime." Tim puts the cups up before burying them both in Danny's fluffy space themed blankets. They're out in moments.

The next day, and with Danny's permission, Tim explains to the rest of the batfam what Danny told him. They fret over and reassure Danny they aren't scared of him, they're not sending him away, he's staying with them as long as he wants. The whole situation is a big step back in their progress in making Danny feel safe, but they all work through it. And Danny starts to willingly share more of his past and "ghost"ness.

They do have to explain to the police that, yes, Danny has a second scary form, and yes, Tim knows how to shoot a gun, but it was self-defense. There's a security video of it all, so it's all indisputable. Everyone is pissed when the video is leaked despite the Waynes best efforts, so the family gets even more protective of Danny.

Damian goes full guard dog when they return to school. Growling and snapping at anyone who so much as looks at Danny funny.

Tim is just relieved he can honestly tell Danny no one died during the mall incident. Sure, more than a few of the goons are crippled in some way, and the Joker is paralyzed from the neck down, but no one died. Danny still feels bad about it, but that's because he's a genuinely nice person who didn't have to be domesticated into not using excessive force.

[twstfanblog]

Heya can I get a Housewarden reacting to a male! reader that hides whatever injury he got form them when they overbloted but shrugged it off once they found out " hey worth it!"

Boys React to Injured Reader

Overblot Boys x Reader

A/N: I know the ask said male!reader but nothing really shows it to lean male or female aside from two uses of male pronouns.

Riddle

You got some pretty bad gashes on your arms from rose bushes being thrown at you going mach 4. They are decently heavy and though they didn't look it, had some pretty nasty thorns on them.

After Riddle's overblot, you had your arms wrapped up for a good few weeks afterwards from how deep they were. He wouldn't notice them since the uniform is long sleeved. But if you modify your uniform to be shorter, they'd be easier to notice.

Once he does notice them, he asks what you, Ace, Deuce, and Grim got into that left you so injured. Then he feels AWFUL when you tell him the gashes were from his overblot.

He's babbling out apologies, insisting that he takes you to an actual doctor to get properly healed and checked for infections. You live in an abandoned building and you have open wounds for the sake of the Seven.

Gets so quiet when you manage to tell him you don't mind the gashes. Yeah, they're annoying, doing anything has become a chore because of them. But, they're like a trophy for helping save him.

Becomes so aware of your arms now, manages to get some advanced medical potions to decrease chances of scarring. Also, would you...maybe join him in the garden? For tea? Alone?

Leona

All of that sand whipping around was not good for anyone, and it definitely wasn't good for you. It managed to burst a blood vessel in your eyes, which isn't so bad. What was bad was that your cornea was scratched.

It was pretty easy to notice you were hurt in the aftermath, with everyone being in the infirmary when you woke up. Leona asked what the eyepatch was for, seeing how you've never worn one before.

The sigh he does once you explain that it was from sand whipping around during his overblot. Wants to see the damage even when you tell him it was really minor and set to be healed within the week.

Everyone kinda freaks out seeing your eye. It's very much still a mess even after the first dose of treatments to make sure you don't get an infection. But even with it being such a mess, you're all smiles because it doesn't mean anything to you. Leona is safe and sound and that's all that matters to you in the end.

Plus, if you did go blind or something, wouldn't it be kind of cool? You and Leona can have matching eye injuries!

Leona doesn't think that's funny and tells you as much. But for the next week, he's suddenly always around when you need to put your drops in. He'll do it for you since he claims you're squeamish and doing it wrong.

Azul

Azul is very strong in his mer form, he also has a lot of arms for grabbing people he was planning on maiming. He only had a grasp on you for a few moments, but it was enough focused pressure to crack a rib.

You only took notice once you went back to the Coral Sea Museum. The change in pressure makes your ribs ache even more than they were before. Azul took notice and tried to find the cause of your pain. But in the end he and the group made way to an underwater clinic to get you professionally checked.

The guilt he feels hearing your rib was cracked is enough to make him want to go back into his pot. Once back on land, you go straight to the infirmary until further notice.

He won't come visit for a while, sending the twins in his place to deliver you food from the lounge and to help with your breathing exercises. They're the ones who tease him about how you want to see him, to check up on him.

Jade all coy saying 'He was quite concerned about your well-being.' Floyd chimed in 'Lil Shrimpy says his messed up ribs are a good trade if it means you're ok~.'

Azul starts to show up instead of the twins at the tail end of your healing period. He's made you a study guide and gifted you his past notes to help you catch up on the classes you've missed. He also doesn't want to this to be...something that he owes you for. So maybe, once you're all healed, you can come to the lounge office to have a private meal with him. On the house.

Jamil

Your arm had a hairline fracture once you landed in the sand. Nothing too bad, adrenaline was pumping and you barely even felt it. After Jamil's overblot, it felt more sore than anything so you ignored it again.

But when Ace and Deuce show up, Deuce gives you a too strong of a high-five and suddenly, your arm is completely snapped. The party screeched to a halt while Jamil and Kalim quickly check you over.

Jamil is confused on how your arm is broken. Everyone else is completely fine and he doubts Deuce is that strong to break your bone through a high-five. Then Azul points out that you possibly landed on it wrong in the fall from...being flung across an entire desert.

Congrats, you are now an honorary Scarabia member! Because neither Kalim nor Jamil are letting you just go back to Ramshackle with a broken arm. Jamil's running himself even more ragged tending to the Kalim, the dorm, and now you.

You stop him, reminding him you broke an arm, not a leg. If he thinks this is a debt thing, you're not mad, or expecting him to pay you back for being the reason you broke your arm. You're just happy he's ok.

Jamil stops appearing around you for a while, well after your arm is healed. But you keep getting Tupperwares of dinner from Kalim. He states 'Jamil made too much'. Which we all know is a big fat lie.

Vil

(Gonna just pretend Idia doesn't kidnap them like a day later)

Magical smug had to have some type of ill effect other than the poisoning, and it did. The others were able to deal with the after-effects of Vil's overblot via magic immune systems, you are not so lucky.

What started off as a simple cough slowly progressed into hacking and shortness of breath. You had avoided Vil because you just thought it was a simple illness, and the last thing the starlet needed was getting ill. Only for him to be the one to find you on your knees, coughing and struggling to breathe.

Carried you to the infirmary where you're diagnosed with a form of magic-based pneumonia. Blot-based mucus was wreaking havoc in your lungs and it was only going to get worse without proper treatment.

Vil stayed by your side until you fell asleep that first night, then you didn't see him for a week. There'd be little gifts on your nightstand from him; throat-soothing candies, sinfully soft luxury brand tissues. So he was visiting but only when you were asleep.

You see him again when it's the middle of the night and he wakes you up to take a potion he's spent the past week crafting with Crewel's help. He hasn't been sleeping and it's noticeable. Scolds you when you state you're worried about him. Barely lets you semi-confess and is instead force-feeding you the potion. You can declare your admiration once you're well.

Idia

It shouldn't have happened the way it did. Appendicitis normally takes longer than what it took for you to be curled over in pain. Luckily, you were a top-grade science facility surrounded by geniuses. They put you in a full body scanner and quickly saw you had an infection in your stomach.

Even with everything that just happened, you were prepped for surgery in a matter of minutes. They barely got the confirmation from you that the little organ wasn't a necessary part of your digestion system. So it was coming out before it got any worse.

After the surgery, you're able to tell the doctors that an appendix can become infected and burst, but you were completely fine beforehand, so you're not entirely sure what happened. It was revealed your appendix was already infected before you entered STYX and the mild exposure to the Gates sped it up to the point it was ready to burst.

Idia is about to cringe so hard that he travels dimensions. He wants to fling himself off the edge into the Gates like Vil did. This is his fault because he can't just go to fucking therapy like a normie. No, he had to try to do global genocide.

You calm him down, stating it's not as bad as he's making it out to be. And if anything it kind of helped? your ailment was still bound to happen and instead of it happening on campus with no one really able to help, it happened at a cutting-edge science facility. Plus, he's still there with you, that's what's important.

So Mama Shroud has already added you to the family registry, you get a monthly allowance of 10k, and added to the Shuroud family weekly video calls to check up. Idia can still barely look you in the eyes because what do you MEAN being together is what's important? what kind of fucking friends to lovers ass dialogue choice was that? That was so cringe, you should be embarrassed. He says as he fumbles his words now every time he sees you.

Malleus

All you knew was that something was wrong. Dealing with all of the other's dream shenanigans, you could feel in the back of your mind, your body was trying to alert you to something. You only realize when everything is over and everyone is waking up

You are barely able to open your eyes, your head is pounding and it feels like you have water in your ears. Everyone is concerned, Lilia manages to get them all away so he can look you over himself. Checking behind your head only to feel blood and that your ears are leaking a clear type of fluid. When Malleus put everyone to sleep, you fell and literally bounced your head off of the stone floor of Diasomnia.

He was already embarrassed and ashamed of himself, one for overblotting and now for hurting his dear friend. He pays for you to be taken to a hospital and tended to properly. Visits every day while you sleep and just watches you. Leaves you blessed fruits for a speedy recovery.

Is so relieved once you're on the better side of healed, you look much less corpse-ish and have more pep in your voice again. Apologizes, offers a life debt, swears if you wish it he'll never show his face around you again. His actions nearly got you killed and the longer his overblot lasted the more likely it would have been too late no matter what happened.

Actually starts crying when you tell him the injury doesn't matter to you. That fact your 'dear friend' Tsunotaro is ok is all you need to feel well and at peace. Now there's a dragon in the bed with you, no the doctors can not get him to move. They can work around him.

[demon-at-peace]

DC+DP Demon twins

Damian had hated Danyal after he left, hated the fact he'd abandoned him. yet he knew he hadn't. He still remembered that night with utter clarity, he'd been nine, and in a year he would meet his father. And he would realize that Danyal had been right to leave.

The night had been calm, nothing unusual, the two of them alone and then Danyal had started to talk. He'd spewed traitorous words, and his eyes had shone with such enthusiasm as he talked about leaving. His eyes bright blue, the only difference between the two of them.

He remembered screaming at him, and remembered his bitter smile. That was the last time he saw his brother. Back then he couldn't picture leaving, nowadays he knew if he'd left then he might have been happy.

That the family he'd broken might have still been fine. But he hadn't, and now he has a new family. Yet they were like Danyal in their own odd way.

Father had his eyes. Richard had his puns. Todd had his rage. Timothy had his dedication. Cassandra had his silence. Brown had his laughter. Thomas had his compassion. Sometimes he'd forget, and he'd feel like he was there again. Like it was Danyal telling the pun, or comforting him.

He never was there, and he had a family, but they would never be Danyal. Ever. He didn't look for him. He was probably dead, and if he wasn't Damian knew he'd hate him.

He was sixteen when it all changed. It was normal a late night patrol, the lab however was unordainary. It made him sick, the expirments on creatures, people who clearly felt the pain. They'd reached a room, it felt like it was calling to him.

He knew he shouldn't have opened the door, but he did. And he found himself staring into Danyals eyes. They were the same after all these years. The same soft blue, the same mischievous twinkle, the same broken look.

He stumbled back, and Danyal stared at him. Confussion clear on his face. "Whoa," someone held him, "You good?" he knew who it was, he trusted them. but all he could think about was Danyal, his eyes, Danyal was here.

"Dami?" he heard the soft whisper, questioning yet familiar. he looked up, they had to be him. They had his eyes, hiss expressions, his features, they had the scar above his eye. It had to be him.

"Danyal?" he croaked, hoping wishing, maybe, just maybe it wasn't a cruel joke.

"It's Danny," he smiles at him, and Damian doesn't know what to say. Danny, it's normal, simple, everything his brother is not. Everything his brother wanted to be.

"It's very you?" Damian lies staring at Danny with a lost expression.

"I suppose it is? Robin's very you," Danny replies, and they both know the other is lying.

"You're here?" Damian asks.

"I wish I wasn't," and suddenly Damian is reminded of the situation. It's a lab. His stomach churns as he stares at his brother, what had happened to him? Then he looks at Richard, who's looking at him with such confusion it's rather bewildering.

"Who's this?" He asks, and Damian remembers his promises to his mother. His silent mourning. And after that he remembered how Father had turned Todd's death into a lesson, so he kept his silence.

"Someone I thought was dead," he breaths.

"Trust me," Danyal speaks up, eyes flashing lazerous green "I am."

"But who?" Richard he glances between them, taking in their identical apearance.

"You have a...?" Richard asks quietly.

"Brother.." Damian confirms absentmindedly.

"Why wouldn't you tell us?" his voice is hurt and Damian stares at him.

"You never knew him, why would it matter?" Damian glares,

"He would have been my brother," Richard snaps.

"He wasn't though, you never knew him, he was my brother," Damian hisses glaring at his brother.

"Still am, Dami," Danyal's voice is soft, warm, and Damian feels stuck. Like he's in a memory, but he isn't.

"Right," he swallows, pretending the Senate doesn't erase the worries, he'd thought Danyal would want him. He stayed after all.

"You thought we wouldn't be brothers just because I left?" Danyal's smile is wild mischievous and so very familiar. "As if you could escape me that easily!"

"Of course not," Damian grins.

---

Hi! So anyhow demon twins with a good relationship? Yeah I didn't really want to deal with complex stuff, so fluff, (sorta fluff), also if I wrote a fic would anyone read it? cause I'm sorely tempted to write one.

Bye :)

[hurtspideyparker]

Tony doesn't tell the Avengers about Peter's secret identity, but Peter starts coming over constantly and chilling around the tower, helping Tony in his workshop or eating dinner with everyone.

Since Tony is weirdly secretive about who the kid is, and the fact that Spider-Man is still a small unknown (presumably adult) hero who isn't on any Avengers radars, they all collectively come to the conclusion that he's Tony's illegitimate child.

Bruce: They do have the same eyes...

Steve: This is an inappropriate conversation to have. If Tony doesn't want to tell us then we shouldn't pry

Natasha: Tony doesn't even like kids. There's no way he would tolerate one if it wasn't because of his guilt complex. I'm surprised there isn't more little Starks running around considering his previous lifestyle

Clint: *cough* drunk slut *cough*. Oh excuse my throat, I meant to say he was a drunk slut

Natasha: Steve they're the exact same. Talk too much, too fast, genius brains that go right over our heads, stubborn, like to cope with humor, same body language. They'll have the same smile lines when Peter grows into them. The only difference is that Peter was raised with manners

Steve: I'm not saying I don't agree, I'm saying it's none of our business. Anyone with basic observational skills can tell they're desperate to fill father and son roles in each others' lives, but Tony's really weird about it, so we should let him keep it private

Clint: We probably make him nervous

Bruce: Because he thinks he's a bad dad?

Natasha: I think he's kinda good at it. Which is extremely unnerving

Steve: Honestly out of all of us I had bets on Bruce having a secret wife and kids hidden somewhere. Tony stepping up to be a father was lower on my list than Nat

Natasha: You have a list?

Bruce: You think I pull?

Steve: That's irrelevant. I think it's nice that they're so close already, but we don't need to press. It might mess up a good thing

Clint: Wait can we go back to this list business. Are these like pragmatic, military leader lists, or are these for pleasure? What other kinds of lists do you have? What about which one of us is most likely to turn on you. Or what you'd turn for. Oh! What about a list of all our weak points based on accessibility and intensity, with contingency plans in case of defection or aliens or brainwashing or alien brainwashing causing defection

Steve:

Natasha:

Bruce:

Steve: This is why Tony won't share his personal life with us.

They last another week before Clint, Natasha, and Bruce team up to steal a strand of Peter's hair and test it for paternity. Steve knows something is up, and follows Clint to Bruce's lab.

Steve: What are you doing...

Natasha: Admit it, you know exactly what we're doing and you want to see the results

Steve: I... well if you already have them there's no point keeping it from me

Clint: Tony Stark is not the daddy!

Tony: Which of my exes have you been talking to?

Clint: AH oh hey Tony didn't see you there

Steve: I'm not apart of this

Tony: Is this about Peter? He told me something plucked his head when he was walking down here. Which of you murder twins was hiding in the rafters

Natasha: Y'know he's not your kid, whoever told you he was lied to you and I hope you get your child support back

Tony: My kid? He's my intern. What funky kool-aid have you all been drinking, that boy is sorting my tool drawer right now. He has slightly better dexterity than Dum-E, it's been quite helpful

Bruce: You have really poor professional boundaries if he's just an intern

Tony: Okay fine. He's actually Spider-Man. I didn't wanna tell anyone cause the Accords were still fishy, but everything should be good now. Anyways, he really wants to train with you guys so you'd have to know eventually

Clint: Who the hell is Spider-Man?

Steve: That guy in Queens who helps bring in peoples' groceries?

Tony: Well, yeah—listen, he's like 14 and he just got his powers. I'm not exactly sending him to fight armed terrorists yet. He'll grow into it, but trust me, there's potential. I'm kind of like his mentor

Steve: You really don't need to do that

Bruce: Yeah we'll all help out from now on

Natasha: Don't take too much responsibility for the boy

Clint: Oh god what have you been teaching him?

Tony: Thanks for the vote of confidence guys. Whatever, now that you all know he'll be hounding you all day for advice anyways. Good luck with that. Friday tell Pete to come down here, the Avengers are gonna train with him

Tony leaves them all, snickering to himself as loud footsteps come crashing down the hallway. If they didn't know any better they'd say several elephants were tripping down the stairs. Then, the doors burst open, Peter's mouth already running a mile-a-minute.

Peter: Really, you guys know, you guys will teach me? Can I use the shield, Ms. Romanoff can you show me how to kick, show me with Mr. Barton, or, or Mr. Rogers. I can take down someone bigger than me, I'm actually really strong. Wanna see? Why are we in Bruce's lab, is that my first lesson! Can I touch this? What are you making here, how long has this been distilling, what about my webs, have you ever seen my webs? I did them myself, but I bet we could make them even better, watch out it's really sticky—

Steve ends up with webs all over his face, several of Bruce's beakers broken from the white spray, one reacting poorly with it and exploding all over Clint and Natasha. Bruce immediately shoves them into the decontamination shower, leaving them as two drenched rats wearing skin-tight combat gear. Natasha is already fuming at the thought of trying to peel it off.

Peter: I'm really sorry, I didn't know it was on ricochet... the splitter webs were just 'cause I panicked

Steve: This is why I told you all to leave it be.

"Noted," they all say in unison.

[jinwoosbabyboo]

𝚆𝚒𝚜𝚍𝚘𝚖 𝚃𝚎𝚎𝚝𝚑

How the LADS Men take care of you when you get your wisdom teeth removed. A/N: Slightly w/ MC timeline, but it’s mainly just you reader ……. & Get your wisdom teeth removed [Requested by: kookieluvs]

𝚉𝚊𝚢𝚗𝚎

he doesn't like the dentist telling him what to do, but expects you to follow all of the dentist orders

submits a Leave of Absence to your job for you

has a timer set for your pain meds

will not give you extra no matter how much you pout & beg

holds your chin while he switches out your gauze for you

comments on how cute you are with gauze filling your cheeks

brings you all kinds of soft food soups, smoothies, etc and makes sure your fridge is stocked so you have something to eat while he's at work

removes all the straws from your place so you don't even get the chance to use one

will still continue to indulge in all the sweets he wants even though you can't have any

he promised to take you to eat all your favorite foods as soon as you're healed up

buys new pillows incase you bleed on your current ones

𝚁𝚊𝚏𝚊𝚢𝚎𝚕

the type to giggle at your swollen cheeks

has you stay with him while you heal up saying "I'll safe guard you for now until you're healed Miss Bodyguard"

keeps a tea towel within arms reach to catch your drool and/or blood

helps you change your gauze, basically just there to hand you the fresh gauze

calls you a chipmunk for sure

sketches you while you sleep emphasizing your chubby cheeks

hides your pain meds so you dont take extra

makes you paint to take your mind off the pain

is bouncing off the walls at the fact that you'll be with him 24/7 while you heal up

cuddles, cuddles, cuddles he'd hold you while you napped and while you complained about the pain

𝚇𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚛

paging nurse Xavier, paging nurse Xavier

this man wouldn't let you do a damn thing by yourself

right after the removal he's getting you home stripping you down and getting cozy pajamas on you

sections out your pain meds and makes a schedule for when they need to be taken

took a leave of absence from work to take care of you

"Xav I got my wisdom teeth removed I can still function" he's not hearing that he's showering with you, moisturizing you, skincare routine and putting lip balm on you

you would think you were in a full body cast the way he wouldn't let you lift a finger

changes your gauze for you

spoon feeds you even though you can feed yourself

Princess treatment like a mf

he’s sitting you on the bathroom counter and let’s you rest your head in his hands while he gently brushes your teeth for you

𝚂𝚢𝚕𝚞𝚜

internally bouncing off the fucking walls that you're staying with him while you heal

keeps having to remind the twins that you can't eat solid food

puts your pain meds on the highest shelf or space he can find so you can't get to them

has his chef prepare the finest menu of soft foods just for you

carries you wherever you need to go

lets you lay on him during your naps and doesn't care if you get blood or drool on him

puts the pain meds in your mouth and holds the glass for you while you drink

wipes your tears when you start crying from the pain but you can't have more for another 4-6 hours

uses his evol to hold your head up and switch your gauze out

doesn't want you doing anything alone so he's showering with you, towel dries you, moisturizes you, and sits you on the counter to gently do your skincare routine

"the kitten has morphed into a chipmunk"

has the twins keep an eye on you when he has to step out

Luke & kieran freak out when you start crying asking for pain meds because only Sylus knows where they are

[asidian]

Dead Boy Detectives does a lot of things very, very well, but one thing I haven't seen touched on very much is set design. It is phenomenal, and the amount of detail that's gone into literally every scene is truly mind-blowing. I'm going to do a couple of posts breaking down the setting details in various locations I think, but I wanted to start with one that does an incredible amount of storytelling in the tiny understated details.

So let's talk about Charles' room from when he was still alive.

Some of the details are quite small, but I've circled and numbered them so that I can discuss them more easily.

First up, and this one doesn't have a number because it's the entire room, but. They have this boy down in the basement. In a cramped little space that looks like it's twice the size of a twin bed.

Then we come to all the little things that make it so much worse:

1: Charles' room is covered with band posters. If you look closely though, these aren't the kind of posters you'd buy in a store. These are the sorts of posters that they display at venues when a band is in town. Every one of them that's readable has locations/dates/sales info. These aren't someone buying Charles something of his own, to decorate his room with. This is Charles "My smile is pretty convincing" Rowland going to venues after the band has finished its run and asking for the posters to take home.

2: It's hard to tell from the angle, but it looks like he has a couple of model airplanes up on the ceiling. Okay, this one's kind of cute.

3: Again, hard to tell from the angle, but it looks like he has a shelf of sports trophies tucked away back there. This boy tries so damn hard.

4: A dart board. Huh. That's funny. Where are the darts?

5: Oh, here they are. They're outside the room! Like his asshole father! Stole his darts! And threw them at the door!!

6: Probably a boombox, presumably the one that he used to play the tape mentioned in the Devlin house episode. Notably, there are no tapes in sight. Did his father break his only tape?

7: The world's saddest bed, with a ratty old pillow and one (1) single sheet.

8: And as if we needed any more heartbreak in this scene, that's Charles' cricket bat there in the corner. His weapon of choice? The thing he picks up to defend Edwin, over and over, episode after episode, for the entire series? He's cowering practically on top of it while his father beats him. He didn't so much as touch it when it was himself that needed defending.

You're welcome. If I have to be heartbroken over set dressing, I'm dragging you all with me.

[imoncloud7]

suna rintaro headcanons

general:

has a meme folder in his phone with over 2000 pics & videos and uses them as reaction photos frequently

some are even of the twins LOL

has a google drive of all the school fight videos and charges people for them

hes actually really smart but chooses not to try in school?

suuuper close with his little sister

she calls him all the time when hes away at school (since hes not from hyogo)

they play roblox together every night

they play those princess roleplay games (fantasia) and a lot of dress to impress

hes literally a top model by now

he really like indie films esp horror movies

has never picked up a book in his life

he owns wired apple headphone for the "aesthetic"

the twins clown him for them and flex their airpods

hes an avid wearer of the uniqlo airism tee

has a silver chain he never takes off

lowkey would be a stalker and have burner ig and tiktok accounts

nonchalant king

literally hes so mysterious and girls looove that

he ran an anonymous account on instagram rating all the water fountains at school

had a lot of followers ngl

he takes his bed very seriously

like weighted blanket, silk sheets, the weighted dino stuffed animal from target, fresh water by his bed, magnesium and melatonin at night

doesn't let anyone sit in it with outside clothes on

neevvverrrr lets the twins sit in it

definitely uses "yh" when hes texting (absolutely tf not)

as a boyfriend:

he was plottin on you since the start

but bc hes nonchalant af you had no idea

hes really perceptive so he could kinda tell you reciprocated those feelings

so he took that as his sign and he confessed first

he was super casual about it

you guys were walking back to the dorms after his practice one day and he just kinda dropped it on you

"yo can i tell you something"

LMAOOOO

he was kindddd of awkward about it

but its ok!! now youre dating!!!

his love language is def physical touch

this man takes his cuddling time SERIOUSLY

youre one of the only people he frequently lets in his bed

you guys stay up till 2 am cuddling and giggling with one another about stupid shit

so many sneaky sleepovers (the dorms dont usually allow opposite genders in the same room)

yall r one of those couples that sit in the corner and talk shit about everyone in the room like whispering in each others ears and laughing

esp about the twins

you two have a very long streak of word hunt going back and forth

you guys also send a lot of voice memos ranting back and forth

his sister loves you!! she doesn't have an older sister, so you fill that role. only so much that suna can do for her

she texts you a lot too lol

you join them in playing roblox every night

so many 2 am convenience store runs

[yusiyomogi]

i think that kui portrayed kabru's mental health issues in a very interesting way, but it's what makes it subtle to some readers. the fact that he seems so functional to the readers, especially in the first few appearances, not to mention that a lot of his problems and symptoms are not obvious and can only be seen in additional materials, seems like an intended choice from the character writing perspective.

the way kui constructs his character centers around the idea of duality. he switches between two "faces" in the story constantly, he uses two speaking styles (and two pronouns indicating them), he's a tallman who lived with elves for a long time and carries both cultures, he's caught in the conflict between long-lived and short-lived races, he's constantly stuck between two choices in his inner conflicts (what to think of laios? should he prioritize preventing another tragedy or taking away power from long-lived races?), he's bisexual. kui also made him a gemini, yknow, a zodiac sign associated with twins and duality.

there's a certain theme in this and it does affect the way we interpret his personality and choices and it goes beyond text, it's metatextual too. it's a sway between what's hidden and what's shown to the readers about him.

the thing is, i think his mental health issues are meant to be downplayed and hidden, because it's true to his character. what do we notice about him in the main story and what's hidden? well, one of the first things we see is that he's not great at fighting monsters, he suffers from ptsd that makes him basically freeze up just from thinking about them. images of dead people turning into monsters, tearing each other apart and eating each other haunt him, making him feel ill from monster food. he downplays this a lot, hides it from other characters, straight-up lies about it, but at least readers got to see it.

with a keen eye you might notice that he doesn't eat enough food, almost never eats anything on-screen. he mentions that he's never cooked food in his life: wait, kabru, don't you live alone? in that sense "don't you wanna eat?" moment reveals two details of kabru's character at once: we got to see his aversion from monster food related to ptsd, but also his inability to notice his own hunger in general. he's strong and he almost always wears armor, but we know that he often dies in the dungeon. the armor hides that he's pretty scrawny for someone who fights physically, again, something that we can only notice after he takes off his armor (symbolism!).

funnily enough, here we have our first glance at this through additional materials: in the info page about the importance of calories and fat, kui mentions that kabru has lost a lot of weight since he started exploring the dungeon, because he died a lot. what it means is that he doesn't eat enough to cover the loss of weight. subtle, but clever detail.

speaking of him not knowing how to cook, this is another clever detail that hides bigger truth: kabru doesn't know how to do chores, he doesn't take proper care of himself. extra materials reveal to us that kabru lives in the basement, lacking light and clean air and he doesn't know how to clean his room or how to iron clothes and simply... never cared to learn? this is mostly omitted from the main story, even if it does have a place for it: for example, his journey with mithrun becomes infinitely more fascinating, when you know how little kabru cares about himself. but since those chapters are told through kabru's pov, he basically "hides" this from the reader, takes control of the narrative in the same way he tells a polished version of his tragic backstory.

he talks about mithrun's story like there's no connection, like he's not literally looking at the dark mirror of himself. and, ironically, he chooses to not be vulnerable in front of the readers just like young mithrun wouldn't. extra materials give us a glimpse again: when in the main story mithrun said "i can't fall asleep without spell or potion", in the extra comic (literally behind the scenes) kabru says "i use alcohol to help me fall asleep". there's a connection and kabru sees it, but he's not telling it to us. (and yes. there's evidence that kabru is an early-stage alcoholic. we can see bottles under his bed and what he says basically imply that he depends on alcohol: he's not using it for recreational purposes, he's using it as a substance to make himself sleepy and, probably, less anxious. when that dependence turns uncontrolled, it often leads to full-blown alcoholism).

bigger connection to mithrun is of course kabru's refusal to accept his own humanity, to see that he's alive, that he has his own needs and desires. he's suicidal in the same way: he can only see his goal, he doesn't care about his life, he only sees the value of his life in relation to that goal and he never think what's gonna happen to him after he reaches this goal (because he unconsciously believes that "the after" wouldn't happen to him). and he doesn't reflect on it, again, until he's met with a question "what do you want to do?". the way he doesn't see himself as alive is omitted again in the big portion of the story and only really comes up in the end, when he asks "what was the point of my survival?", in a basically joking moment.

but we can see it through the symbolism, through his connection to death in the story, through his eagerness to sacrifice his life for the idealistic goal in his mind. and of course, we can see it clearly through his mirror: there's a strong parallel between kabru almost committing double suicide while chasing his goals and mithrun literally getting himself killed while chasing his own.

what i'm trying to say, it's interesting that kabru uses his control of the narrative to hide his own vulnerability from the readers. maybe mithrun sees himself as leftovers and it's something cathartic for him to admit in the end, but kabru really doesn't want you to see that he feels the same way. that he's also "leftovers". but you see, they are standing together in that panel. as kabru continues to try shielding himself from your view, kui puts the mirror next to him, revealing what's hidden.

[cressidagrey]

Such A Mystery - Part 12 - The End

Pairing: Max Verstappen x Colette Leclerc (Original Character)

Summary:

Max Verstappen fell in love at the ripe old age of 12 and never looked back.

Colette Leclerc really regrets posting that particular Taylor Swift Lyric to her private Instagram account, because it made George Russell go insane.  

The rest of the world has absolutely no idea that the Dutch Lion and Charles Leclerc’s twin sister have been a couple for 15 years and are expecting a baby. 

Warnings: 

Pregnancy, Mention of multiple miscarriages, Pregnancy complications, George Russell Bashing (he's probably really nice in real life but in this, he's the bad guy, sorry), Jos Verstappen, We have apparently now reached the time where I also bash Ferrari. I am sure they are super nice in real life too. They are not in this.

Author Notes: Huge thanks to @llirawolf for holding my hand through this. Chapter 12 of 12!

They were alone. Just the three of them.

Colette had never felt so exhausted in her entire life. But she had also never been so happy. Charlie had been fed once more and had then fallen back asleep, curled up on her father’s chest. Colette herself could barely keep her eyes open.

And she should be sleeping, but she could only watch her daughter curled up against Max's chest.

"How did we manage to create something so perfect?" She asked him softly.

Max let out a tired little huff of laughter, not bothering to open his eyes. “She is perfect, isn’t she?” he murmured quietly.

Colette felt a smile tugging at her face. “Perfect and absolutely beautiful,” she agreed quietly, shifting a little to get a better look at the two of them. "So perfect it almost hurts to look at her."

Max smiled at her. "I...There is this thing you should know," he said hesitantly.

Something about his tone, the hesitance in his voice, made Colette pause. "What is it?" she asked curiously.

"I may have told the whole world about us? On Instagram?" he admitted with a grimace.

She could only snort at that. "I think your father made sure that that cat was out of the bag," she told him drily. "What did you say?"

"That we have been a couple for 15 years. That I couldn't be happier with you and our little family," he said simply. "I wanted everybody to hear our truth," Max said softly. "Not what other people write."

"There is a romantic inside you after all," Colette teased him softly.

"You aren't angry?" Max checked.

Colette sighed. "Not at you," she said simply. "I can't be angry at you. You just want people to know how happy we are together. We kept it quiet for years for me," Colette said, staring at her daughter. "Is it weird that it feels like she put everything into perspective?" she asked him, nodding towards Charlie. "I just...I don't care anymore,” she admitted.

Max stared at her, blue eyes wide, but Colette just shrugged. “I was terrified for so long what people were going to think about me once they knew about us...but now...I don't care. What does it matter?"

Max reached over and laced his fingers through hers. "It doesn't," he promised her. "I'll start screaming it from the rooftops tomorrow, if you'll let me."

A laugh escaped her before she could stop it. "I think the media already knows," she teased, squeezing his hand. "We can just put my Instagram on public and let them eat their heart out," she suggested. It wasn’t meant seriously. Not really. 

But the more she thought about it, she wondered if that was what it was going to take. Opening up the digital scrapbook of her life. Letting anybody have a peek at their relationship. Hoping that finally they would understand.

"We'd break the internet," Max retorted, grinning at her.

Colette laughed. "We really, really would. Reason enough  to do it?" she teased him.

"And give my PR team a heart attack? Absolutely,” Max returned immediately. “Tell me when.” 

"I love you," she told him seriously. "And I am ready to love you in public too."

She had done it from the shadows for 15 years after all.

He stared at her. "Are...Are you sure?"

"I am very, very sure, mon coeur," Colette told him softly, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. "The only opinion that matters to me is yours - and my family's. I don't care what anyone else thinks," she added, glancing down at Charlie again, who slept blissfully on, cuddled against Max's chest.

"If people want to call me an attention whore or a gold digger, they are welcome to it," Colette said quietly. "I don't care. I'm happy and you're happy and our baby is happy. Let them write whatever they want."

***

"Marry me," Max blurted out.

His words came out of his mouth before he had even realised what he was saying. The room suddenly became very quiet, as if all the oxygen had suddenly been sucked out of it, and Max suddenly realised that he had just blurted out the question he had been meaning to ask for months, at a time that couldn’t be further from ideal.

Colette was staring at him, her eyebrows raised and a look of surprise on her face. She seemed frozen and totally caught off guard by his question. And he didn’t blame her for that. She was exhausted, and had just given birth, and here he was, bombarding her with questions as if this was the perfect moment to do it.

But then she smiled at him. 

"Yes," Colette said simply. "Always yes. You know that.”

Relief surged through him so strongly, Max thought he might just about collapse. She had said yes.

Granted she had said yes the last time as well. 

He remembered that day like it had been yesterday…remembered coming home that May evening in 2016…Fuelled with adrenaline from his first “proper” win. Remembered the trophy that still had a place of pride in their living room…the bottle of champagne, the Pirelli cap…and the ring that he had bought after that race. The celebratory crepes for breakfast the next day where still a tradition they kept with. 

Max felt like he could have exploded there and then, just from happiness. He couldn’t believe that he had just asked her, that she had just said yes. It didn’t feel real. It felt like something out of a dream.

"Yes?" he repeated incredulously, just to make sure he hadn’t actually dreamt it. "You’ll marry me?"

"Properly this time," she teased him, with the most beautiful smile on her face, as she leane up to press a kiss against his lips. “I’ll marry you, Maxie.”

He couldn’t stop himself from laughing, the sound breathless. It wasn’t just exhaustion that made him sound like that, it was disbelief, a sort of giddy lightness.

"Properly this time," he echoed back to her, his words soft. "You’ll marry me properly."

He couldn’t actually believe she was saying yes. "I do have a ring," he assured her. "It's at home. I hid it in the trophy."

Colette laughed. "Of course, you hid it in the trophy," she repeated, her voice warm and amused."Of course you did."

Max gave her what he hoped was at least a resemblance of a sheepish look. “Where else would it be safe?” he said defensively. "And I know you wouldn't look there," he added.

"A perfect place to hide something you don't want me to find," Colette agreed.

Max grinned at her. "Exactly," he said happily, gently brushing her hair from her face.

"Which trophy?" she asked him seriously.

"Spain 2016," he answered honestly. His first one. The one. 

"You hid it in the 2016 trophy?" Colette repeated, her smile widening into a grin. "Really?"

"Just felt appropriate,” he answered honestly. He still remembered handing it to Colette for the first time, the ring that he had bought clanging around in the bottom of it. 

"It is," she agreed softly, leaning up to press a kiss against his lips.

Max smiled against her mouth, his arms tightening around her, pulling her a little closer. He couldn’t believe they were having this conversation. He couldn’t believe he had just blurted out the one question he had been wanting to ask for ages, and she had actually just said yes.

"You’re really going to marry me," he mumbled against her mouth, unable to help the words. "You’re actually going to marry me."

"I had your baby, but this is what shocks you?" Colette asked him with a laugh. 

He laughed, pulling her closer again and nuzzling his face into her shoulder, her words causing him to blush faintly. “I love you,” he mumbled against her skin quietly.

"I love you too," she echoed back quietly. "And yes, I will marry you. As many times as you’ll ask."

"I am the luckiest man in the whole world," he said softly.

"No, I’m the luckiest," she told him gently, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him close again. "To have you, and this, and Charlie, and all of it. It’s everything I ever wanted.”

[pretty-little-mind33]

Pietro Maximoff x stark!fem!reader

Summary: You've always hated Pietro for his player tendencies—turns out he's never hated you at all.

Genre: Fluff, hurt and comfort (enemies to lovers)

Warnings: implied fuck-boy!Pietro, reader is Tony Stark's daughter (no physical description), reader hates Pietro in the beginning, mentions of blood and gun wounds, swearing, because Sokovia isn't real- I used Czech as Pietro and Wanda's language (i don't speak Czech so i used translating sites…if it's wrong, pls tell me)

~ thank you to the anon who requested this! this is my very first time writing for Pietro, please tell me what you think! ~

PIETRO MAXIMOFF MASTERLIST

Your father has always been overprotective of you. 

He usually doesn't involve you with his affairs when you're with him and not at Mom's, choosing to have your room as far from any Avengers as he possibly could. At sixteen, you didn't like this—you felt like you deserved to live normally in your own home—so when he asked you to become friends with his newest members, Twins from Sokovia who also happened to be sixteen, and make them feel welcomed, you were more than happy to do so.

You liked Wanda Maximoff from the first moment you met her. She seemed quiet and shy in the beginning, but she also has this fiery side to her that you admire. She never took shit from anyone, including her brother. 

Pietro Maximoff was very different from his sister. You remember standing in your room, your dad by your side, with an unamused Wanda in front of you as a blue blur sparked across the room, occasionally skidding to a stop and knocking over some books or picking up some trinkets and making unnecessarily judgmental and overly excited comments.  

"Pietro," Wanda hissed, "Přestaň (Stop it)."

His sister's warning had only made his grin widen, his silver hair falling over his strikingly blue eyes as he returned next to her, his arms crossed. "Promiňte (Sorry)." You didn't know what he'd said, but it didn't sound like he meant it. 

"Wanda," he pointed to his sister as he introduced her, and then his grin turned into a smile. "Pietro," he said, pointing to himself, and then he outstretched his hand with no awkwardness or hesitation. You looked down and then up at him again, turning to your dad with an unsure expression but when he nodded, you shook Pietro's hand.

"Y/n," you whispered with a smile, and as you shook his hand, what could have been the start of a wonderful friendship, should have started that day. 

Should have.

In the beginning, it was childish teasing—which involved stealing things from your room and hiding them around the tower because it made Pietro laugh, running past you in the halls so quickly you'd almost fall over, or jokingly ruining any chances with any boys at school because he'd stick his nose in business that never involved him. 

Most of the team and your dad found your banter funny—encouraging the same boys will be boys' bullshit that meant that as the years passed, your dislike for Pietro only worsened. 

It especially didn't help when, by seventeen, he'd found out he was pleasant enough to look at and that girls seemed to adore his boyish charm. So, any chance he had, he'd either heavily flirt with girls at school, or find excuses during missions to pick up any pretty girl he came across. 

Of course, this behavior only increased in his twenties and made him all the more annoying—especially since you began working the coms and the computer for when the team was out on missions. Ever since Ultron, your dad now trusted you more than a robot. 

You're curled up in your chair, your headphones on as you watch the multiple screens in front of you. Some have news outlets playing out the scene while others have the biometrics of Iron Man's suit and the others' suits to make sure all is well. You also have every member in your ear as your fingers glide over the keyboard.

"Dad?" you switch the coms and touch the microphone. 

"Yes, Y/n?" Tony Stark's voice echoes in your headphones and you smile. 

"I can try and hack into the network of that bastard's suit if you want?" 

"Actually, Y/n, can you locate Quicksilver for me? He was supposed to evacuate all the civilians but I can't reach him anymore. Could you try? He always answers you,"

Great, Pietro duty—again.

"Can't I do something more useful?"

Tony chuckles, making you glance at one of your computer screens where you can see him hovering in the air, protecting the civilians on the ground from some shit-bag escaped prisoners who had taken over some secret government-type weaponry and causing all kinds of havoc.

Steve and Natasha seem to be handling the situation with some tact, while Wanda looks like she's having fun crunching the weapons in the men's hands with her mind. All in all, the team seems like they're handling things just fine without Pietro around. 

"Quicksilver is useful to me, darling. I know he's not your favorite person right now, Y/n, but he's a valuable member of my team and I need you to find him for me."

You huff. "He was never my favorite person," you whisper roll your chair over to another keyboard, and disconnect Tony from your headphones. You bite your cheek and hit enter. "Pietro? Hello?"

No answer. 

You change the signal. 

"Wanda?"

"Hello!" Wanda answers and you hear some commotion in the background. 

"Where's your brother?" you ask, "he isn't answering me."

"I don't know," Wanda says and after a moment she adds, "I can feel him though."

"Thanks," you say, although she'd been completely unhelpful. All you'd learned was that Pietro was definitely alive—which wasn't really a concern of yours since you hadn't assumed something happened to him. You just assumed he was missing.

"Y/n?" 

You hear him in your headphones and you quickly change the channel again, pressing your lips closer to your microphone. "Pietro," you say.

"Yeah?" Pietro sounds like he's running, "What's up, Princezna (Princess)?"

"Don't call me that," you say, knowing damn well he'll call you that anyway. He always has. "Tony wants you. Where have you been?"

Pietro laughs. "I got a little distracted, Moje srdce (My heart)." You hear what sounds like another pet name—he calls you that from time to time you just refuse to ask him what it means.

You want to ask him what he means by distracted, but you assume it has something to do with him getting some girl's number so you don't want to know anymore. "I'm on my way back now so no need to worry your pretty head about me."

"I wasn't worried about you," you say instantly, "I was ordered to find you. Very different."

"Sure, Princezna, sure," Pietro says, his voice husky as he stops and takes a breath. "When are you going to fess up and admit you like me, hm? This cat-and-mouse game has been fun and all, but c'mon, what will it take for you to understand? Tady mě zabíjíš (You are killing me here)."

"Understand what?" 

"Understand that I–" Just as he speaks, you hear more familiar voices and shouting in the background and you look to one of the screens from a news outlet where you can see that Pietro is back with the team, only he's not running anymore. No, he looks like he's swaying. You stand to look closer at the screen. 

"Pietro?" you call into the mic, trying to understand what happened until you see him fall to the ground, clutching his side as his blue suit stains red. He must have stopped running for a moment and one of the fucking assholes dressed in machinery must have shot him. You panic and run to an opposite computer and change the channel one last time. 

"Wanda?" you whisper, your voice hoarse and shaky as you look back at the screen and see that Clint has found Pietro, and Wanda is running up to them too. "W-Wanda?" you try once more, watching her on-screen as she tends to her brother and ignores you.

You feel completely powerless.

* * *

When everyone comes home, you feel stupid as you greet them. Most of the Avengers send you sympathetic smiles as Tony walks up to you. Clint, Wanda, and Pietro aren't with them. You look up at your dad, feeling embarrassed that you're worried for someone you claim to hate.

Tony's expression softens as he hugs you stoically, he's not much for this type of affection but he can see you need this as you bury your nose into his shoulder. 

"He's being checked now but nothing serious," your dad sounds calm, "he's fine, darling."

You pull away, forcing a look of nonchalance as you. "I- I know that I- I didn't care either way," you lie shamelessly.  

Tony shakes his head, sounding exhausted when he says, "You're so stubborn, just like your mom." He ruffles your hair and kisses your forehead. "You can see him in a bit, I'm sure. I'll tell Wanda to come find you when he can have visitors."

You nod and spend the next few hours pacing your room, nibbling at the skin around your nails until you taste blood and finally, someone walks into your room—only it isn't Wanda. It's Pietro himself. He's wearing a slightly wrinkled tank top and a pair of slacks hung loosely around his hips. It's almost sinful. He grins cockily and runs a hand in his hair, his shirt riding up to expose his stomach. You stare at him, wide-eyed and your hand drops from your mouth. 

"What are you doing out of bed?!" you say, sounding more worried than you'd intended.

"What are you? My máma?" Pietro laughs and leans against the edge of your vanity. "I heal quick," he shrugs and looks around your room. He hadn't been in here in a while. He smirks. "Still sleep with Teddy, hm?" he hums. 

You feel warmth in your cheeks and you send your poor beaten-up-with-love Teddy-Bear a glare as if it was his fault you still slept with him in your arms at twenty-four. "Ha ha, funny," you mumble and move to stand in front of Pietro so he can't make fun of any more of your belongings. "No– I don't. Can you leave now?"

Pietro crosses his arms and tilts his head, his blue eyes piercing into yours. "Stark said you wanted to see me." 

Of course, he did. 

You narrow your eyes. "Well, I have seen you and I see you're fine so now I've changed my mind," you say with a shrug and point to your door, waiting for him to make the decision and leave. 

"You don't even wanna ask why I was distracted out there?" Pietro says and a smirk curls his lips.

"No–"

You feel the wind in your hair and in a blink, he's standing much closer to you with a slight pant—as if he'd just run—and he's holding a small bent bouquet of roses in his hands. He holds them out for you and you stare at them in disbelief. 

"What are those?"

"Roses."

You glare at him. "I know that but why?"

"I saw them and thought of you," he says so nonchalantly you almost don't believe him.

"What? When?"    

"When I was helping the civilians," Pietro shrugs and his eyes are intense. He pauses after a moment and raises his hand, his knuckles skimming your cheek. You freeze, warmth spreading all over your cheeks as you panic internally. "Saw them in the park and I wanted to get them for you."

Your eyes widen. "Isn't that illegal?"

Pietro smirks. "Not if it's done in the name of love, Princezna."

"I don't think that's how that works—" Realization dawns on you and you feel like you're spinning. "Wait, wait, what did you just say?" 

Pietro laughs and his hand moves to tuck some hair behind your ear, smiling. Maybe he's excited but you can feel his skin vibrate on yours. Your heart is pounding so heavily and your mind is screaming at you that this is all a trick and this is what he does with girls. He throws around the l-word and expects women to fall at his feet. He's a player.

"What I was trying to tell you before I was rudely shot, is why haven't you caught on and understood that I'm madly in love with you?"

What?!

You blink at him and then take a step away from him, shaking your head as you force a laugh. "Pietro, this isn't funny. It isn't funny to mess with me like this. You know how I feel about you playing with my feelings—"

Pietro frowns. "Playing with you?" 

You roll your eyes. "Please, it's just not funny, okay?"

"You think this is a joke, mé srdce (my heart)? Ach, můj drahý (Oh, my dear)," Pietro says in a whisper and moves closer to you again, his hand reaching for yours as he hands you the roses.

"I'm not messing with you. I tease you sometimes, but my feelings are real. I haven't messed around with any women in years—minus that mistletoe kiss—" he rubs his nape, mentioning the time you'd caught him and an office girl kissing at last Christmas party. He didn't mean for that to happen, and even less for you to see him. 

You're really trying to understand him now but nothing is making sense. "You have feelings for me?" You whisper, your eyes wide. You feel like you've entered some alternative reality. "You can't just say things like that now, Pietro. It's not fair."

His expression turns more serious than you've ever seen him. "I'm not saying this lightly, Y/n. I know I've been a jerk to you, but I was a stupid kid who didn't know how to express his feelings and then it was too late because you hated me. But, I have always cared for you, miláček (darling). I really have."

You move back, your eyes round, processing his words. All those years of childish teasing, all those petty arguments you'd had, and all the jealousy you've felt suddenly hit you like a train and you're left broken and bruised. He had feelings for you? You've been pushing him away because you were scared of how you felt about him.

"Why now? Why did you choose to tell me all this now?" you ask, shaking the roses in your hands as your voice trembles.

Pietro exhales. "Because when Wanda mentioned me how worried you were about me, I realized how much I need you in my life. Need you beside me. I didn't want to hide my feelings anymore— and I picked those flowers wanting to confess anyway. I want to be with you, Y/n. No more games, just us."

You feel a mix of relief and fear. Deep down, you've wanted to hear this for so long, but it's as terrifying as you'd imagined. You look up at him, walking in closer and you can hear your heart in your throat when you run a hand in his silver hair, holding him and pulling him down to meet his lips.

You've convinced yourself this would be confirmation. Confirmation that this was a bad fucking idea. Instead, his kiss is intoxicating and it makes your mind go all fuzzy. Of course, he'd be good at this, he'd been quite the whore—your thought is interrupted by Pietro pulling you in closer and deepening the kiss, his hand finding your hip. 

You gasp, leaning up into him as the world as you'd known it crashes around you. 

"Sakra, Princezna (Damn, Princess)," Pietro murmurs into your lips, holding you close. "This is so much better than I imagined."

"You imagined this?" you say, sounding more teasing than you'd anticipated as you're left breathless from his kisses. 

Pietro hums. "All the damn time," he admits and kisses you again.

After more kisses, he finally pulls away. "So, is that a yes? You want be with me too?" he asks hopefully and you look into his eyes, taking in his excitement. You don't dare even think of breaking his heart as anyway, your swells at the mere thought of being his. 

You nod but then smirk and pull him back in for a kiss, your hand fisting his shirt, "Kiss me some more and then I'll tell you."

And he does just that.

[keitorin3]

Short: Finding Merlin

Arthur: What do you mean you can't find Merlin?

Leon: I mean we can't find him, Sire. We've asked all the servants and before you ask, yes we've checked the Tavern.

Arthur: *Paces* Then search the forests I want him found understood!?

Leon: Yes Sire. *Walks out the door but hears the King mutter*

Arthur: *mutters* Idiot thinks he can escape this marriage... Ha just wait until I show him his wedding robes, he'll look like a noble and absolutely hate it. 👰🏻‍♂️

Leon: *suffers and leaves quickly*

Gwaine: So what did the princess do this time?

Leon: Apparently he gave Merlin his mother's sigil awhile back and Merlin only just found out, thanks to Gwen, what a noble offering a sigil means to their intended.

Gwaine: No way! The princess proposed marriage to Merlin without even telling him?!

Leon the long suffering: Indeed. Merlin is a commoner and while he has improved since he first arrived here, he still doesn't know all the intricacies of nobility.

Gwaine: So Merlin got mad and went off to who knows where?

Leon: It would seem.

Gwaine: How long do we have before his royalness starts going off to find Merlin himself?

Random Servant: *Shouts* The King is gone!

Gwaine: ... 😅

Leon: ... 😭

Merlin: *Returns dragging an unconscious and dirty Arthur on horseback*

Gwen: Oh, what happened? Did you get attacked? Are you both OK? Where have you been Merlin? Everyone has been looking for you.

Merlin: I'm ok Gwen, I went to talk about something important. Nothing bad happened, I left a note with Gaius on where I went.

Elyan: Ah, he got called on an emergency birth with one of the down town ladies, hasn't been back yet.

Merlin: *Huffs* And so that was reason for this idiot to go off and start a kingdom wide hunt for me? The Dollphead...

Gwen: *sigh* We did try to tell him he was being a bit paranoid. But he thought after your argument on the sigil he might have scared you off... *Looks to the unconscious King resting on the horse* What happened to him?

Merlin: Pfft, *smirks* the King fainted.

Elyan: He... Fainted...

Merlin: Yup. I found the idiot riding like a madman and when he finally calmed down enough to actually listen to me I told him I just went off to talk with Kilgharrah and Aithusa.

Gwen: Ok, that explains where you went, but then what happened to make Arthur faint?

Merlin: Aha, well... 😅

[BEFORE, IN THE FOREST]

Arthur: So what was it that you need to talk to dragons for? Did you get your answers? *Trying and failing not to stare at Merlin while walking beside him*

Merlin: Hmm I did *Reaches out to grasp Arthur's hand and paused their walking*

Arthur: Merlin?

Merlin: *Breathes deeply before taking something from his pocket and into Arthur's hand*

Arthur's heart dropped when he felt a round shape of a coin and it showed in his eyes what he believes this to be.

Merlin: *Noticed Arthur's sudden sad mood, rolled his eyes* Dollphead, opened your hand before jumping to conclusions! 🙄

Arthur: *Opens hand* Wait, is this...

Merlin: *Squirms and fidgets* I wanted to ask Kilgharrah about Dragon Lord Courting triditions. And well, he wasn't too informed in that but knew of Dragon Lords giving a Dragon scale as gifts and I asked Aithusa for one of hers, being her Dragon Lord after all... And well he said I could shape it, so I used my magic to carve it and well, being a dragon lord and you a Pendragon I thought why not Twin dragons?

In Arthurs hand was a white-silver sigil that shines faintly with Twin dragons circling each other and behind them he recognises the druids triskel symbol.

Arthur: *In Awe and too speechless for words*

Merlin: It also is embedded with my magic and acts like a... Connection between us. I'll be to find you as long as you have it and you'll be able to find me. My magic would guide you. Maybe then you won't have to go on a kingdom wide search for me. *Laughs*

Arthur: *Smiles* Heh, so a Merlin Finder? About time, do you know how hard it is to find idiot warlocks lately?

Merpin: *Smiles fondly* Prat.

Merlin: *Looks serious* That's not all either. Arthur, your a prat and a dollop head. I know I tell you you're always a bit thick in the head but I never knew how much until I realised the significance of your mother's sigil. You had to go about proposing to me in the most infuriating way without even telling me.

Merlin: But I know more then anyone how good of a man you are, how much you work to be fair to your people. And the thought of you having those kind of feelings for me was too good to be true. Because I would have said yes. Always I'd say yes. I feel like I was born to love you Arthur. Prophecys and destiny may play a part, but I would always chose you.

Arthur: *Dumbfounded*

Merlin: *Rolls his eyes* I'm proposing cabbagehead. I'll marry you. ❤️💍

Arthur: ... 😳🤯💞 *Faints and falls into a puddle*

Merlin: ...

[END OF FLASHBACK]

Merlin: *Blushes with a laugh* I accepted his proposal. He ended up going into shock after and fell over into a small puddle.

Gwen: Oh! 😃 Merlin I'm so happy for you!

Elyan: Yeah, cheers mate. *Mutters to himself* Thank god all the pining is over.

Arthur: *Wakes up* I had the most fantastic dream! Merlin gave me a sigil and accepted my proposal~!

Merlin: *Speaks from the fireplace* It wasn't a dream Arthur!

Arthur: 😍 You love me! 💖

Merlin: 🙄❤️ *Walks up and kisses Arthur* Yes I do.

Arthur: 💘🥴💕 Merlin Loves me~! Merlin will marry me~

Merlin: *Fond and in love* 🥰

The (Merlin's) Knights: FINALLY!

Castle Servants: FINALLY!

All of Camelot: FINALLY!

Kilgharrah: The two halves have finally become one.

Aithusa: *Chirps*

[ckret2]

Chapter 94 of human Bill Cipher having been the Mystery Shack's prisoner UNTIL NOW:

At long last—Bill's finally been paroled.

Bill sauntered into the living room. "You summoned me?" He looked at Ford and Stan, sitting together on the sofa, and asked, "Are you my parole board?"

Stan said, "Keep mouthing off like that and see if we reduce your sentence."

Bill cracked a grin. He sat in one of the armchairs, laced his hands behind his head and crossed an ankle over his knee, and said, "Finally lightening up a little?"

Ford grimaced. "Well. We had to trust you with the agent, and you didn't blow it, so I suppose we don't have a choice."

"Awww. Don't sound so grateful."

"Can we get this over with before you two start bantering?" Stan asked. "Okay. As of now, you're allowed to go out and do social things with people in town. Or invite 'em over, just—get permission first before you haul someone home."

That immediately threw Bill off his game. His smile dropped, he sat up straight, and he put his hands on the armrest, as if he was already on the verge of jumping out of his seat and bolting for freedom. "Wait. Really?"

"But only if one person from the household is with you at all times," Stan said. "Except for Dipper. Because we both think you'd be willing to kill Dipper to escape."

Bill laughed. "That's fair! That can't be everything, though. There's a catch, what's the catch?"

"Restrictions," Ford said. "No trying to manipulate the townspeople, no trying to turn them against the rest of us, no tricking them into restarting Weirdmageddon—and in case I missed any loopholes, no doing anything you know full well we wouldn't want you to do. If we even get a hint that you're trying any of the above, the game's over and we tell the town who you really are."

"Oh, really." Bill slowly sat back, eyeing the twins calculatingly. "People in this town love me! If you try to lock me up again, I have friends in town hall who will get worried and come looking. Try to tell them I'm Bill Cipher, and I'll tell them you're crazy and they'll believe me." He propped his cheek in a hand. "In fact, this whole week I've been behaving myself for your benefit. As far as I'm concerned, I can do just about anything I want now—so the real point of this little meeting is deciding whether you'll give me what I want the east way, or the hard way. So maybe cool it with the threats you can't back up! You can't prove I'm anything but what I look like."

He said, "Why are you two grinning like that. Stop grinning."

Ford stood to push a video tape into the VCR. Stan turned on the TV and hit play.

The screen opened on a shot of the living room sofa, where Bill sat cross-legged and grinning next to a large easel pad. The first page of the pad was covered in drawings of cute animal faces, birds, fish, and (closer to Bill’s side) skulls, lightning, and triangles.

From behind the camera, Mabel said, "Welcome to Mabel’s Guide to Local Animals—"

"I’m helping."

"—featuring Bill Cipher as my cohost!"

Stan paused the video. He and Ford grinned at Bill.

Bill gaped at the screen. "Well—I—that doesn't prove anything. It's just a wild accusation by a child! It's not like I confirmed—"

Stan hit play.

On screen, Bill said, "That’s me!”

“Yes it is. Lots o—"

Stan paused the video.

Bill buried his face in his hands. Why. "Mabel's not even on screen! I could have been responding to something else and you dubbed her lines in later! You don't have any footage that directly connects that human on screen to Bill Cipher!"

Stan fast-forwarded the tape.

"Oh boy."

Stan hit play. Mabel smiled at the screen. "Welcome back! My co-host has been banned from the rest of this episode so he can reflect on his behavior."

Behind her, Bill, one hand bandaged and face covered by a paper bag that read "PLAYED WITH FIRE," said, "It was worth it!" He’d persuaded Mabel to draw his triangle face over the text.

"WHAT!" Bill jumped to his feet, didn't know what to do next, and turned around to kick the cushion off his seat. His cheeks burned at the Stans' laughter. "Unbelievable! This is ridiculous! This is all—" He couldn't admit it was his fault. He wasn't about to blame it on Mabel. He whirled around to point at Ford. "Your fault."

"Wh—" Ford flung his hands into the air, "What did I have to do with it?!"

"I don't know yet! I'm still figuring that part out!" Bill dropped back into his seat, then had to half stand again to straighten out the cushion.

"Think the cops'll buy that?" Stan asked.

Bill slouched back in his seat, elbow on the armrests, hands laced in front of his mouth. He mumbled, "I'll behave."

"Good."

"And... we'll make a deal with you," Ford said.

Bill shot him a burning glare. "I'm listening."

"Kitchen access. We're still figuring out if there's anything we can do about the fridge and the microwave—for now, at least you have the freezer chest Soos provided—but we'll give you access to the cabinets and everything in them, the cans, the can openers, the glass jars, and the stove, if you can identify five parts of the house we can't remove that you could kill somebody with."

Bill narrowed his exposed eye. "Why."

Stan said, "Because we're only making this offer cuz we figure you've already thought of plenty of ways to kill us, so it doesn't make a difference if you can slit our throats with an aluminum can lid. You want the goods, we want a warning about what else you could be planning."

Bill's eye narrowed further. "Throw in the knives."

"We'll get you plastic knives," Ford said.

"Deal. Garroting you with my clothing. Breaking the banister and stabbing you with the splintered wood. Snapping off a metal chair leg and stabbing you with that. Punching through a windowpane and using the broken glass as a knife. Unplugging an appliance, chewing halfway through the wire, plugging it back in, pouring water on the floor around the exposed wiring, and waiting for someone to use it. Pulling threads out of the upholstery to make tripwires across the stairs. Doing something to encourage Dolores to try to poison me again, then switching my plate with someone else's when she's not looking. Not to mention all the objects I can use for blunt force trauma: chairs, Questiony's piano, the lid on the toilet tanks, the coat rack, the metal trash can in the kitchen, the..."

Unnerved, Stan said, "That's a lot more than five." Ford elbowed him.

"And you owe me for the rest. We'll work out the details later."

"Did you say punching through a windowpane?" Ford asked.

"Sure, it's glass, it's not that hard. I just need to wrap a shirt around my fist so I don't bleed out before you idiots do."

"Has it occurred to you that punching out the glass could... yield any other results...?"

Bill looked at him blankly. "Like what. Creating a walking hazard?"

"Never mind."

"Okay," Stan said, "I'm convinced that the only thing stopping you from murdering us is the fact that you can't murder allof us. You can have kitchen access. Anything else?"

"Daily sunlight," Bill said. "Not sunlight filtered through a window—actual sunlight. Open a window for me, let me sit in the yard, whatever, I don't care! I just want sunshine. I feel like a starving sunflower."

Stan snorted. "What's a starving sunflower feel like?"

"Like it's only photosynthesized for a combined ten hours over the last month and a half, is that a trick question?"

Ford asked, "You photosynthesize?" He slowly reached for his coat pocket pen. Stan pushed Ford's hand back down.

"Course I do, how did you think I eat?"

"I didn't think you eat. You've claimed to be a being of pure energy enough times."

"I am a being of pure energy. Did you think that means I violate the laws of thermodynamics? I've got to get more energy from somewhere, don't I?"

"I suppose that makes sense..." Ford slowly reached for his coat pocket pen. Stan decided to just hold his hand.

"I'd be happy to explain how it works sometime! Maaaybe over a game of chess?"

Ford scowled at him.

"That's what I thought." Bill rolled his eye. "Fine. Then you can ask Mabel. She knows all about it."

Sensing a brewing argument, Stan cut in, "Okay, daily sunlight, we'll figure that out. Is that everything?"

"Phone rights. The Rainbow Club gang wants to know how to reach me, I can't keep telling 'em I broke my phone and haven't replaced it."

"Is the phone you stole not enough?" Ford asked wryly.

Bill grinned. "Oh, Mabel mentioned that, huh?"

"Where is that phone, anyway?"

"Threw it away." At Ford's glare, he said, "What, don't believe me?! Fine! Search my cell, officer! You won't find squat!"

####

A squirrel, returning to its hole in a tree with an armful of nuts, stared in dismay at the brick of plastic and metal that had been hidden in its home.

####

"Fine, phone access," Stan said. "But under supervision only."

"Fine. And I want TV voting rights."

"What?"

"You—" Bill turned his gaze back to Ford "—told me that everyone else in the house gets priority over me when we choosing what we watch. I want an equal TV vote. You know—like a person who has opinions that matter!"

Stan and Ford exchanged a look. They wanted to say no, because Bill was Bill, and it didn't feel like he deserved that.

But. By this point—after multiple rescues thanks to Bill—that was almost starting to feel petty.

Sweetly, Bill said, "Come on, Stanford, don't you want someone else in the shack who's willing to vote for the parascience documentaries? You need every vote you can get! You and your little clone are already outnumbered!"

"Stop," Ford said. "Fine. Equal TV rights. Not because you tried to bribe me."

"You're making the right decision," said Bill, who was fully planning to throw his vote behind whatever Mabel wanted to watch at every opportunity possible.

"Is that it?" Stan asked tiredly. "We're debating TV rights now, you can't want anything else."

"Just one last tiny minor little detail," Bill said. "When are you setting me free?"

Stan opened his mouth, held up a finger, lowered his finger, and looked at Ford. "Uhh..."

"Because you are going to set me free," Bill said, "right? You're not planning on keeping me here forever. If you've agreed you aren't executing me, then there's no way you could think you have the right to keep me locked up!" He favored them with a threatening fake smile. "I could call my lawyer. Do you want me to call my lawyer?"

"What are you talking about," Stan said, "who the heck is your lawyer."

"Do you want to find out."

Stan paused. "No."

Carefully, Ford said, "We haven't... discussed... our long-term plans for you."

Bill's smile faded. "Well. Discuss them. And let me know." He stood up. "Are we done here?"

"I suppose so," Ford said tiredly.

"And uh," Stan said, almost inaudibly, "thanks. I guess. For getting those agents off our tail."

"Suuure, any time." Bill gave them a wry grin. "It figures I'd have to sleep with a federal agent to get my sentence reduced."

Stan cracked up. "Hey, you know what? You're almost all right, Cipher." Ford didn't want to think it was funny, but a snort and a crooked grin escaped him anyway.

And Bill's gaze immediately latched onto Ford's face. Look at that. Bill almost got a smile. He was getting better at that lately. Heck, they'd nearly had fun at the museum, hadn't they? They'd had some banter. And Ford had actually acknowledged Bill as a teacher! In a way. Bill might be making some progress with him. Maybe...

May his name be erased.

No. He reminded himself not to get his hopes up. Ford had made very clear that he didn't respect Bill, he never respected Bill, and the only reason he suffered Bill to live was because Mabel liked him.

And, because Bill had potential. Because part of him was already what Ford wanted him to be.

Bill mentally kicked over the seesawing scale in his mind on which he was weighing Ford's worth. Don't pour your water in a leaky bucket, Cipher; if Ford's gonna come to you, he'll come to you. Don't chase him.

"You know, Stanley, I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said about me!" Bill swept out of the room. "Now, if you mortals will excuse me, I have some supervised calls to make. I'm going out."

"Oh yeah? Already?" Stan asked. "And doing what?"

"Don't worry about it, you're not coming. Neither of you would be able to keep up with the wild time I've got planned." He took a deep breath and shouted up the stairs, "Hey, star girl! Call up Candy and Grendo! We're hitting the town!"

####

"It's just as beautiful as I remember," Bill said, surveying the mall with a beaming smile. "And this time I'm allowed to talk to people." He poked Mabel, "Promise not to kung fu flip me this time?"

"Pshh. Only if you promise not to shoplift anything."

Bill considered that, considered what kind of budget three 12-to-13-year-olds had at their disposal, and said, "If you break my neck when you flip me, call Ford instead of 911. I'll take his interdimensional MacGyvered first aid over a trip to the doc any day." Mabel socked his arm.

Candy said, "No shopping or shoplifting! We have more important business!" She hefted her backpack up in one hand and jogged past the rest of the group. "To the food court! I brought a special present for your first day of freedom. Mabel said you might like it."

Bill glanced at Mabel. She just gave him a secretive smile.

####

With all four crowded around a table in the food court, Candy pulled a Magic Vision book out of her backpack.

"Here." She lay the book of autostereogram pictures open in front of Bill. "This is my favorite page ever. The best to start on."

Bill stared at the page, eyepatch flipped up, both eyes wide open and slightly crossed.

"Well?" Mabel asked. "What do you think?"

He didn't answer. He was staring at the book as though he was looking at a brand new color.

A single tear slid down his cheek.

Candy patted his back. "It's like that the first time."

####

"Hey there!" The makeup saleswoman smiled as Grenda approached, flanked by Candy and Mabel. "Can I help you with anything?"

"Hi! Are you the one who gives out the makeup samples?"

"Um..." She gestured at the mirror next to her station. "Yes, you can try out our products here, but if you're under sixteen, you can only try on the makeup samples with an adult's authorization."

All three girls turned to Bill.

He was ignoring them, focused intently on a display of eyeliners.

"A-HEM!" Grenda said.

"What? Oh! Yeah, yeah, sure." Bill made a gesture like a benediction toward the group. "I grant my authorization."

"Great," the saleswoman said. "Then if there's anything you want to try out, I can help you apply it."

"Awesome!" Grenda dropped a couple dozen different lipsticks (half of them loaded with glitter) onto the counter under the mirror. "I want to try all of these!"

The saleswoman's smile faltered. "Oh—sorry, but there's a three product limit for free samples. To try on any more, you'd have to schedule an hour-long makeover session."

"Aw, man! I can't pay for that."

Bill looked at Grenda and the saleswoman, looked at the display of eyeliners, and leaned toward the saleswoman. "Hey, everyone gets three freebies, right?"

"Um—yes! That's right." She nodded.

"Great! Then I'm donating my three to the kid."

Grenda's face lit up.

The saleswoman grimaced. "I'm... not sure I'm allowed to—"

"I'm donating mine too!" Mabel said.

"Me three!" Candy said.

The saleswoman looked at them helplessly.

"Hey." Bill grabbed a passing customer's arm. "Wanna make a donation to a good cause?"

While the saleswoman tried to carefully draw two dozen separate strips of color on Grenda's lips and Mabel and Candy shouted their opinions, Bill surreptitiously slipped several eye products in his hood.

####

"Hey!" Bill shouted, leaning over the balcony around the mall's mezzanine level. "Everybody! Spontaneous dance party! Right here, right now, let's go!" And then he started dancing to the mall's faint background music.

A security guard shouted up from the ground level, "Ma'am? Ma'am! This isn't the appropriate place to— I have to insist you don't—"

It was too late. Whooping and cheering, Mabel, Grenda, and Candy had joined him to start dancing.

When they saw the security guard coming up one escalator, they hustled down the other and escaped.

####

"Not many people take Psynosaur's backstory seriously," Candy said, flipping through a 200-page notebook with densely-packed handwriting. "But when you think about the implications, it's really tragic. His species went extinct 70 million years ago and Professor Kagakusha cloned him from a fossil—he was not meant to live with modern Monster-Mon! Everyone thinks he destroyed the lab because he's inherently bad, but if you think about it, the last thing he knew was the primitive jungle and then he wakes up without his family in a cold, metal room. It's like he was abducted by aliens! He was not mad, he was scared."

"Okay," Bill said uncertainly, watching over her shoulder. He looked around for Mabel and Grenda, but they were off in the another section of the book store, vandalizing books on unicorns with the real facts.

Candy flipped another chunk of pages to an illustration she'd sticky note bookmarked with two dragon-like and dinosaur-like monsters attacking each other, one roaring a stream of 0's and 1's and the other with wavy circles radiating from its forehead. They were both crying. The pencil lines had smeared from opening and closing the pages so many times. "And when you think about it that way, it completely reframes his rivalry with DigiZard! They are not just enemies because Psychic elementals and Digital elementals are mutually mega-effective against each other and they are both Hyper Ultra Rare Monster-Mon. They also represent different eras. DigiZard represents the future, and fears the world that came before his creation, which is why he tries to upload everyone's brains onto the MonsterNet. Psynosaur represents the past and wants to destroy the scary new world he has been forced into."

"Sure," Bill said, perfectly lost.

"And yet, he and DigiZard share a common enemy: they are both the product of human science. DigiZard is coded from the DNA of a dozen Monster-Mon and Psynosaur was mutated when he was cloned. They were never meant to exist. And I think, deep down inside, feeling like they should not be alive is what drives their cruelty. Like they need to do something big to earn the right to exist, because they are such—"

"Freaks," Bill said.

"Yes! Exactly! But even though they have so much in common, they cannot see it. They just fight instead. They need to be put in a situation that forces them to see their shared trauma. Only then can they heal." Candy flipped to the front of the notebook, where she had an illustration of the two monsters wearing aprons. "Which is why I'm writing an AU about them running a coffee shop/cupcake bakery."

"Right," Bill said, lost again.

####

Glaring at the children climbing all over the Kidz Zone rides, Bill said, "I'm never gonna get a turn on that coin-operated helicopter. It's been taken every time we've gone by!" He shot a dirty look at the giggling child currently occupying the helicopter.

"Fight him," Candy said solemnly. "He is the enemy. You must destroy him completely and take what you want."

"You're right, but I'm a foot taller than him and twice his weight. Everyone's gonna assume I'm the bad guy."

"What use is there in being the good guy when goodness doesn't bring you glory."

Bill gave Candy a surprised, impressed look.

"It doesn't get us kicked out," Grenda pointed out.

"Hmm..." Candy's eyes narrowed. "Then perhapssss... there's another way."

####

As they hid in an out-of-order restroom waiting for the mall to close, Grenda experimented in the mirror with her new lipsticks, Mabel edited the drawings in a coloring book she'd picked up at the book store, and Bill sighed in boredom.

He looked at Candy, engrossed in a new notebook and flipping through her deck of Monster-Mon cards looking for reference art. 

"Hey. Sooo," he said. "This joint business venture DigiZard and Psynosaur start—how's that shake out? Do they telekinetically burn it down for the insurance money? Do their friends stage an intervention and insist they need real therapy? Tell me they don't, I hate stories that end like that."

"Oh! They win a prize from the local newspaper for best new small business in the neighborhood," Candy said. "And then, they kiss."

Bill's brows went up in surprise. "Oh. Huh," he said. "Good for them."

Candy slowly pulled the notebook out of her backpack again. "Do you... want to read it?"

He squinted at her like he knew he'd just walked into a trap; then accepted the notebook. "Okay, fine—but only because I want to know how they get around DigiZard being a hologram."

####

Half an hour after the mall closed, Mabel stuck her head out of the bathroom and looked around in the dim nighttime lights for any sign of other people. "Okay, coast is clear." Candy, Grenda, and Bill crept out after her, giggling quietly.

Mabel consulted a mall map. "Okay, to get back to the Kidz Zone we just need to make a left, and..."

Bill glanced down the main hall, and sucked in a gasp that made the girls look over.

Just in time to see a slender humanoid being—super smooth and so pure white it stood out even in the dim light—walk in stiff, jerky steps out of one of the dark stores.

The girls let out quiet gasps, grabbing onto Bill's hoodie for protection; and then Grenda loudly said, "Phew! It's not a security guard!"

With a sickening crack, the bare clothing mannequin snapped its featureless face toward them and went perfectly still, like a predator trying to fool its prey into thinking it was part of the scenery. A couple other mannequin heads curiously peeked out of another store.

Mabel hissed, "What are those—"

"Shhh! Let me do the talking." Bill pushed the girls behind himself, smiled disarmingly at the mannequins, and said, "Heeey! Sorry for the intrusion—Saturday, right? Arcade game night? Our bad, totally forgot!"

The first mannequin tilted its head quizzically. It signed a question at Bill.

"Yeah, no, not us, we're going the other direction from Hoo-Ha's," Bill said, gesturing behind them. Another few mannequins had emerged farther ahead; the tap of plastic feet on tile came from the stores behind them. He swallowed nervously. "We won't get in your way!"

Grenda whispered, "But the coin rides aren't—"

"Shhh." He signed another apology to the mannequin and said, "We'll just see ourselves out! Have fun, tell Slim I'm sorry I missed him, byyye!"

He turned around, scooping his arms around the girls to take them with him. "Walk toward the fire exit," he hissed, "don't run, and do not make eye contact." 

Candy glanced back over her shoulder. "How can we? They don't have eyes."

Bill wrapped an arm around her shoulders to block her view, power-walked a little faster, and said through a gritted-teeth smile, "By the time you find out, it's too late."

Once they were past the mannequins, Mabel asked, "But where'll we go now? The mall's closed, what else is open this late?"

Grenda's eyes lit up. "Hey! I know where!"

####

"It's okay, Mabel," Candy said, "Just concentrate. You nearly got your second dart in the double point ring. Third time's the charm!"

"You got this, girl!" Grenda said.

Bill squinted at the dart board to check how Mabel would do in the future, and lied, "You'll do great."

"Thanks, gang. Here we go." Mabel squinted an eye shut, carefully aimed her third dart, and flung it at the board.

Just as she did, one of the bikers sitting at Skull Fracture's front bar smashed a glass bottle over another's head and the second biker tumbled off his stool. 

The dart went wild. It hit dead in the middle of a section in the double point ring. Unfortunately, it was in the 2 point area of the ring. "Aw, nuts!"

From the table where the Discount Auto Mart Warriors were waiting for their turn, Ghost-Eyes said, "It's all right! You're already playing better than you were just a few darts ago!"

"Thanks, Ghost-Eyes." Mabel pulled her pins off the electronic dart board, plopped down at her table, and drowned her sorrows in cherry limeade.

Ghost-Eyes got up, took his darts, threw them at the board in rapid succession—bullseye, bullseye, double bullseye—and sat down. His teammates hooted and hollered in congratulations as they clapped him on the back: "Three in a row, again!" "Way to go, man!"

(Sitting at the bar, splitting his attention between the brawl breaking out nearby and the dart game, Mayor Tyler Cutebiker cheered, "Get it! Get it!" He turned beet red when Ghost-Eyes subtly flexed in his direction.)

"All right," Bill said, "everyone move aside for a bar game pro." He finished off his drink—the only one at their table that wasn't a soda—cracked his knuckles, grabbed three darts, and stepped in front of the board. He saw several very strong, very clear futures where his darts hit the lower point zones around the edge of the board or didn't hit it at all, and an extremely faint implausible future where his first dart gracefully sailed straight into the double bullseye. He focused his complete attention on that future, ignored all the possibilities around it, and...

Threw a dart into the 1 point area.

"No!" He chucked his second dart at the board, stepping over the faded duct tape throw line on the floor in the process. Nobody called him out for it because his second dart missed the board completely. "No!"

He chucked his third dart at the ground. "I want a do over! It wasn't supposed to go that direction! The air conditioning must be blowing them off course or something, this isn't fair—!" He flopped into his seat, hands covering his face. "Ugggh!" And then slid off his seat to lay on the floor. "Uuuuugh!"

Mabel turned to Candy and Grenda and whispered, "Maybe we should strike darts off the list of stuff to do with Goldie." They nodded.

"So what else can we do?" Candy asked. "The creepy pool guy is still staring at the pool table. I'm not sure he understands it's a different kind of pool."

Mabel gasped. "I've got an idea."

####

In the dark backroom of a closed store, a door clicked open. "Okay, I got the lock," Mabel whispered, pocketing Dipper's president's key. "Everybody inside." Candy and Grenda tiptoed in after her, eyes wide and nervous; Bill came in last, walking backwards so he could keep an eye outside as long as possible, checking for any future signs of pursuit.

"Are you sure about this?" Candy whispered.

"Yeah!" Grenda said. "We do illegal things sometimes, but I think this is more illegal than usual."

"It's fiiine, don't worry about it," Bill said. "Nobody's coming."

"Even staying at the mall after closing was a victimless crime," Candy added. "I'm not sure this is."

Mabel said, "Trust me, this'll be great." She tiptoed into the front store and flipped on a light, revealing row after row of snoozing pets in cages. A couple of animals blinked sleepily at her. Mabel set her backpack down in the middle of the pet shop and started rummaging through it. "Okay, round up all the puppies with light fur. And anything else you can find. Kittens, hamsters, bunnies..."

Within a few minutes, they were seated on the floor in a circle with a small collection of wiggly, mostly white-furred animals. A kitten tried to climb onto Candy's shoulder. Bill had two bunnies in his arms and was rubbing one's head in utter fascination.

Mabel was in the back room filling several spray bottles in a sink. "This is gonna look so cool." She carried the bottles into the store, set them down in the middle of the group, and pulled out a pack of food coloring bottles. She dripped several drops of purple dye into one bottle, fastened on the sprayer, and held out a hand. "Okay! Now hand me a puppy!"

####

"I'm just worried Bill will talk them into doing something criminal," Ford said as he paced. "His only supervision is a handful of kids. What if he's up to something?" He reversed direction and paced the other way. "But no, he's been remarkably well-behaved and helpful recently." He turned around again. "But what if that was all just a ruse to lower our guards?" Turn. "No, no—he's already had opportunities to stir up trouble when we weren't watching, and he hasn't taken them. " Turn. "But what if he's just been waiting for this specific opportunity—"

"Dude," Soos said. "I'm getting kinda dizzy watching you."

"Sorry." Ford stopped pacing and compensated by bouncing a foot. "I just wish they'd get back before anime night." They'd had to reschedule their last anime night due to dealing with a government investigation. Fiddleford had asked if Soos and Ford could come over a bit early, he wanted to talk to Ford before the show; and they'd put off leaving just about as long as they could.

"I'm not worried about them," Dipper said. He was watching TV sprawl out on the living room sofa—which was cushioned for the first time all summer, now that Bill was no longer sleeping on the floor. "I thought letting Bill outside would be stressful. But actually? It's a huge relief, knowing he's out of the house for a bit—"

The door banged open. "We're back!" Candy and Grenda were wielding sleeping bags and backpacks.

"Nevermind," Dipper sighed.

####

(I don't think any of this chapter was influenced by TBOB. Bill seeing an autostereogram picture the first time was written before TBOB came out; in TBOB Bill says he thinks people who claim to see magic eye pictures are lying, and I think that's sour grapes. I wanted to make a comic of Bill seeing a magic eye picture for the first time and weeping at the beauty, but it turns out that autostereogram images that don't look crappy are hard to make. Crappy ones are easy though.

Anyway!! hope y'all enjoyed Bill's 😎✨first taste of freedom✨🌻, I've basically spent the ENTIRE fic waiting to get to the point where Bill can go outside and do stuff.

As well as waiting to make chapter 18 come back to bite him in the butt lmao.)