#but depending on tests I might swap a few things and might cut some basic lands

[neotula]

finished a magic game today by doing 142 damage in one turn. more testing required to see if I’ve fixed the ratios in the deck, as I either flatten everyone in sight or spend half the game manascrewed.

I finally went through and sleeved everything and that seemed to fix my. Uh. Shuffling issue. Because that might have been causing my mana problem. More tests will tell!

[irrelevant-iguanadon]

Doing some concept doodles rn... franziska von karma you would LOVE the threaded cane

Anyways au rant under the cut

Okay so basically it's bloodborne but I'm swapping in ace attorney characters and changing a few things around so uh here are hy silly ideas/thoughts and feel free to dm me or reply with more ideas/questions if you wanna yap with me lol

Anyways

Things aren't going to play out 1-1 with the game just because the ace attorney characters and their relations to eachother make that uh kind of difficult. For example, instead of the mentor & apprentice/ father & daughter relationshipof Gehrman and Maria (thats how I interpretit anyways), Pheonix is going to be Mia's apprentice, and he learned everything from her instead of the other way around. That's a relativelylight example but there will likely be more extreme examples. There will be something there that fills a similar role but not the exact.

Anyways, the major character swaps right now are:

Good Hunter (protagonist) -> Maya & Franziska (they're going through Yharnam together bc I want them to lol)

Gehrman -> Pheonix

Plain Doll -> Trucy (also fills messenger role)

Laurence -> Edgeworth

Ludwig -> Blackquil

Lady Maria -> Mia

Father Gascoigne -> Gumshoe

Iosefka & Imposter Iosefka -> Iris & Dahlia

Alfred the Executioner -> Diego

Martyr Logarius -> Manfred

Master Willem -> Misty Fey

Eileen the Crow -> Apollo

Vicar Amelia -> Ema

Simon the Harrowed -> Athena

Micolash -> Kristoph

Saint Adeline -> Lana

Djura -> Klavier

Those are the ones I have thought out but they are also subject to change. I'm undecided on what to do for the Chapel Dweller and the rest of the Oedon squad, the suspicious beggar, Rom, and Valtr for Bloodborne characters (as well as others I mightve forgotten), and I want to try and include Pearl (might swap her w/ trucy for the Doll role, still thinking on that one), Kay, and Sebastian if I can find a place they fit well, as well as some other side characters like Will Powers, Adrian Andrews, etc etc. We'll see what fits where though.

Certain human (or once human/human like) characters will likely remain the same like Queen Yharnam and Queen Annalise because it would be weird to change them, and all the great ones would stay the same as well.

As for weapons & outfits, most NPC's will keep their normal weapons and clothes (with maybe some small tweaks & color changes to match them a little better) with the exception of trucy if she stays as the doll and Maya & Fran, who each will have their own player character builds (who I might go through the game with to test out if I get bored lol).

Franziska: she's going to have the Old Hunter's outfit (with a few minor swaps & the hat switched to the Yharnam Hunter gear). Her weapons are going to be the Threaded Cane (obviously) and hunter pistol at first but she might switch to the Evelyn or another gun later (idk though I never mess with the guns much lol). She might also grab another weapon as her secondary (maybe beasthunter Saif or Rakuyo) but I'm not sure on that yet. If she uses any hunter tools it'll probably only be Old Hunter Bone & Beast Roar. Basically primary dex build with a small risk of beasthood (bc werewolf Fran.... 😳).

Maya's is going to change a little more with her having a strength/arcane build (I feel like it makes sense with the spirit channeling stuff lol). She's gonna start the classic Sawcleaver until she gets Ludwig's Holy Blade later and eventually the Holy Moonlight Sword (might completely skip the holy blade depending on how I decide they progress). She's not really going to have a left hand weapon but instead is going to have a lot of the arcane hunter tools, specifically ones like augur of ebrietas, call beyond, etc (she will get them in like their normal places though). I'm still thinking on her outfit in the beginning but I think eventually she picks up the Choir Set or Executioner Set (leaning towards Choir atm though).

I have a bunch of like other plot things I'm thinking about (why they're in yharnam, great one interference, how the doll happened w/o it being mia, you know).

Anyways this was a lot of yapping that I'm probably just gonna talk about again if I post the doodles so yeah. May the good blood guide your way squad.

[murasaki-murasame]

Thoughts on Higurashi Sotsu Ep6

Let’s just file this one under “top 10 shittiest anime deaths” *badum-tish*

Thoughts under the cut.

I feel like in a lot of ways this episode kinda highlights the highs and lows of the new series, and how it feels like it’s trying to be like three different stories at the same time and usually only succeeding at being one of them.

This episode, and this arc in general, as a standalone part of the franchise was actually really good, and delivered on the promise of ‘what if Mion actually became the culprit in one arc’, but as part of the answer arcs for the new series it just continues to feel kinda pointless and predictable. I still think that a lot of this has to do with them trying to be both a sequel and a remake at the same time, but unlike with the Rena answer arc, I honestly feel like even new fans could have guessed everything that happened in this arc, since it didn’t actually go into anything that wasn’t already discussed in Gou. So even on that level it doesn’t really feel like it’s providing essential answers that couldn’t have been worked out in advance.

It’s kinda weird how little this arc actually explored anything about Mion and Shion that wasn’t already shown in Gou, considering how much stuff from the VN related to them hadn’t been covered. A lot of their backstory stuff ended up not exactly being relevant to how this arc played out, but it just feels like a weird thing to gloss over when they’ve spent so much time going over stuff from the VN as it is.

Though on that note, I’m really curious about how they’ve made absolutely zero reference to the fact that Mion and Shion swapped places as kids, or anything about Mion’s tattoo. At this point I have to wonder if maybe Ryukishi just doesn’t actually like that plot point in hindsight, and is choosing to effectively write it out of the story here. I can see why, though, since from what I remember it kinda verges into being a twist for the sake of having a twist, and doesn’t actually do much for them as characters that wouldn’t have happened otherwise.

The lack of basically anything to do with Shion’s backstory and her relationship with Satoshi still feels a lot more iffy, but at least some of this stuff feels like intentional revising on Ryukishi’s part. Which I think is a really interesting aspect of the new series as a whole. It feels like he’s taking the chance to look back on the VN and show us how he feels about it after all this time. The stuff with characters like Teppei and Rina seems to be his way of making up for them being shallow villains in the VN, and Satoko being evil here seems to be in part inspired by how little agency or control she had in the original story. I guess the big issue here is that a lot of people probably just straight up disagree with the things that Ryukishi thinks of as being problems with the VN that he’s trying to ‘fix’ here, but I think it’s really interesting to see him do this sort of thing, even if it’s messy and overly ambitious and doesn’t fully work.

For the most part I agree with all the criticisms about these arcs feeling like a bit of a waste of time as we wait for the story to eventually loop back to the Nekodamashi cliffhanger. Even from the perspective of this being mainly for the sake of new fans, it feels kinda strange to see such straightforward ‘this is what was happening behind the scenes in the question arcs’ style answers, with lots of reused footage and basically zero twists or reveals. The VN’s way of designing separate arcs that provide answers for the question arcs was more satisfying, and Umineko went even further with that by just vaguely going over the basic keys to figuring out all the how-dunnit mysteries of the question arcs, and everything else about the answer arcs there was just a continuation of the meta plot. So it feels kinda weird to see him loop back around to the opposite end of the spectrum here.

It makes me wonder if there’s some sort of larger meta mystery going on here that’ll become more apparent in the next arc, and will reveal that we didn’t actually know everything that was going on like we thought we did, but at this point I feel like it’ll probably all end up being a lot more straightforward than we predicted. But there’s still the looming specter of the meta plane stuff, the hints dropped about where this series fits into the wider WTC universe timeline, and the fact that the whole point of the new series in the first place seems to be guiding Rika and Satoko down the path toward becoming their Umineko counterparts. So all of that stuff makes me think there might be some curveball twists going in the future that expand the scope of the story, but I have no real idea what to expect from that, and if it’d even feel satisfying. As much as I’m a diehard Umineko fan who loves the idea of this being a Lambda and Bern origin story, I still worry that the execution might not work once we get to the end. I also don’t really think that anything the series does in the final arcs will completely make up for how predictable these first few answer arcs have felt on a week by week basis, lol.

In general it gets me thinking that in spite of how predictable the answers have been thus far, I’m largely clueless about how I think they’ll actually wrap up the overarching story with Satoko and Rika. It feels like there’s still a lot of different directions they could take it in, and a lot of it depends on just how far Ryukishi wants to go with tying this into other WTC works.

For one thing, I’m not even sure how to expect them to follow up on the Nekodamashi cliffhanger. It’s at least hard to imagine how they could stop Satoko from shooting Rika then and there, considering how this episode in particular went. And one way or another, we’ll have to see how Rika and Satoko handle being in a situation where they both know what’s going on with each other. I think it’ll then just depend on what Satoko’s mental state is like at that point, and also what they plan on doing with the whole looper-killing sword thing. I think Ryukishi’s implied multiple times now that the next arc will start to test Satoko’s resolve, and going by her attitude during the infamous gut-ripping scene, as well as her traumatized reaction to the punching glove box prank, I think she’ll be much less confident in her goals by that point, and probably more willing to talk about what’s going on.

I don’t think it’ll be as simple as ‘she just gives up and everyone forgives her’, or even ‘Rika beats up Satoko while everyone cheers and they all move on and abandon her’, though. I think there’ll be some kind of balancing act between redemption and punishment, but I also think that ultimately it’ll also tie into the Lambda/Bern origin story stuff they seem to be going for. I think I’ve said this before, but my best guess for how this will end is that the looper-killing sword will be used to separate their ‘meta selves’ who are aware of the loops and stuff, while leaving behind their regular physical selves who thus lose most/all of their memories of the loops. At least that way they can have their cake and eat it too by showing how Lambda and Bern became witches, while also having separate versions of them that get to stay behind and mend their relationship or something. But I’m not even confident about all of that, lol.

It’s also worth noting that the key visual for Sotsu features Satoko and Rika as teenagers, and the OP also features that pretty heavily, along with an ominous scene of the other main characters as teenagers. So that makes me think that the story will somehow get back to that whole time period, which makes me a bit more unsure how the last arc will go. One option is that the final Nekodamashi arc will just keep going until they become teenagers again, but the way those scenes are presented in the promo material makes it seem like Satoko and Rika’s relationship is still bad then. So maybe on the other hand we’ll just go back to the original Matsuribayashi timeline where Satoko first met Eua, but I feel like that’d probably be the happy ending where everything goes back to the original timeline and they all end up reconnecting again, so I’m still not sure how the ominous presentation of the teenage characters might play into that.

Either way, I think all of that stuff will probably just come up in the final arc. The next one will probably be covering Tataridamashi and Nekodamashi from Satoko’s perspective. The next arc should be where things start to shake up, but I still think they could easily cover both of those arcs in just five episodes. Nothing much seemed to be happening with Satoko until the final days of Tataridamashi, and I can’t imagine there being much to explore with how she set up the rapid-fire loops in Nekodamashi.

With what’s been hinted at about the next arc not going according to Satoko’s plans, and her resolve being tested, I think that this will probably be where things go entirely out of her control and she starts to doubt whether or not she should continue with her plans. Specifically I think that being in a new loop with Teppei being nice to her, and watching everyone else try to save her from her [perceived] abuse, will start to sway her toward thinking that maybe that sort of timeline is worth staying in, even if it means giving up on controlling Rika.

One way or another I think Ooishi went crazy all on his own. I think Ryukishi explicitly said in an interview that Ooishi went L5 naturally, and I think the manga version of Tataridamashi made it clear that Satoko was genuinely thrown off by how things went there, so she probably didn’t want Ooishi to kill anyone. I can see how he might have gone off the deep end by interrogating Teppei and realizing that there was basically a witch hunt going on against him, but I’m not sure how he would have ended up specifically blaming Rika unless Satoko pushed him into it. Either way, Teppei probably really did attack Keiichi at the end of the arc, and we know that Satoko just has one syringe to use, so at most she probably injected Teppei and then Ooishi went L5 naturally.

I’m also curious to see if/when Satoko learns about Rika being given the power to remember her deaths, since that’d also go a long way toward explaining what her intentions might have been with how that arc ended. I think Satoko is at least aware that Rika doesn’t remember how she dies, so I’m at least not sure what she’d try and accomplish by setting up a loop that only goes to shit at the very last second. It feels like it wouldn’t do a whole lot aside from making Rika confused in the next loop. But Rika only gets her ability to remember her deaths after that loop already ends, so Satoko could have only known about it if there’s some sort of conspiracy going on about Hanyuu. Which there probably is, since her whole presence in this is weird and her deciding to give Rika a new set of powers was always super suspicious, but still.

I’m also curious to see if we get any real payoff to the idea that Satoko’s looping is causing more and more people to remember past loops. Especially when it comes to the main club members, since there’s various moments in Tataridamashi and Nekodamashi, both in the anime and manga, that seem to imply that most of them are starting to remember things.

Even though the execution of this whole new series makes me a bit more wary about how any sort of new anime for Umineko along these lines might pan out, I can’t help but still really hope this is leading to something like that. For one thing I just think that if he’s going for a Lambda/Bern origin story with this, at the risk of alienating lots of existing fans, I think there should at least be a more concrete payoff to that than just ‘ok now you can go back and read the Umineko VN’. But I think there’s a lot of potential to be had with some sort of remake or sequel to Umineko where he gets a chance to revisit it after more than 10 years. One of these days I should still just make a whole post about my hopes and predictions for what could be done with any sort of new Umineko anime, lol.

Anyway, this got longer than I planned, but all in all I enjoyed this more than it probably comes across like I did, lol. Even if the plot’s been kinda boring, I think Sotsu has done a great job of elevating it with good direction and visuals. The moment to moment pacing can still be kinda choppy, and sometimes the presentation of flashback scenes is confusing and ambiguous, but in general it still feels entertaining to watch unfold, and the brutality has a lot of impact. I’m just hoping that the rest of Sotsu is more ambitious and surprising than these first two arcs have been.

[telekinesiswrites]

Matthew Taylor Relationship Headcanons

You meet him at one of the college football games. You’re sitting in the stands, spectating, and he’s on the sidelines, waiting to be swapped in. It’s when he looks up into the crowd, he spots you. He doesn’t know why, but you drew his attention immediately. But after you gift him with a shy smile and hesitant wave, Matt knows he wants to meet you. 

So after the game, he finds you at the gates. Que the awkwardness as you and Matt attempt small talk and try to avoid eye contact. After a few minutes of stumbling over each other, Matt finally manages to ask you out.

Matt is a gentleman, through and through. He opens the door for you, pulls out your chair, thanks you for every little thing you do; he loves you with all his heart and wants to show you how much he cherishes you. 

He loves it when you wear anything related to the sports teams he plays for. You’re his #1 Fan!

Out of all the Until Dawn guys, Matt is the cleanest. He hates mess, disorganization, and he’s never understood the concept of “organized chaos.” He also likes to split up chores, like you cook and he does the dishes or you clean the toilet and bathtub and he cleans the sink, mirror, and sweeps and mops the bathroom floor. One, it lessens the burden of cleaning an entire room yourself, and two, it makes you and Matt feel like equals. It’s nice to know that you’ll never have to worry about cleaning up after this man.

Study dates are very common. Though he doesn’t like to admit it, Matt isn’t the smartest person and struggles in most of his classes, and knows that he needs decent grades in order to play sports. Scenery varies, depending on both your moods; sometimes you huddle up in the corner of a coffee shop, or a secluded table in the library, or maybe just in your dorm, dressed in your comfiest of clothes. Matt is always appreciative of your help, always making sure to thank you afterwards.

Matt can’t help but compare you to Emily, who he broke up with after the events at Blackwood. While Emily could be outwardly mean and condescending to him, a revelation Matt didn’t have until after he started dating you, you were always patient and kind to him, always so happy to see him and never cruel. You didn’t put him down for his poor grades, something that Emily always jabbed at, but instead you always helped him. And he didn’t hate any shopping trips you went on because you always involved him, asking his opinion on clothes and whatnot and sometimes finding things for him to try on and never mocking his choices. Anytime he was left to his thoughts and started comparing you and Emily, he would always smile knowing that he was in a much better, healthier relationship. 

If you wear his signature Letterman jacket, this boy will die of cuteness overload. He can’t handle seeing you in his jacket.

Communication is something that Matt has to work on. He’s a pushover and all his past girlfriends used this to their advantage; he would much rather let his partner have their way than have to deal with confrontation. Not you, though. It’s awkward and uncomfortable, but you always have to sit Matt down and talk out whatever problem you two have. After a couple successful conversations, Matt isn’t so opposed to the idea of bringing up any issues he has about the relationship, knowing that you’d rather find a solution than talk over him. 

Matthew absolutely loves massages. He works out a lot so he tends to get sore, especially if he pushes himself. Lay this boy down on the bed and rub all the knots out of his back and he’ll be putty in your hands. And...it might just lead to something a little more intimate.

If you start showing interest in his hobbies, Matt will be absolutely elated. Go to the gym with him and let him show you how to work out properly so that you don’t hurt yourself. Attend all his sports events so you can cheer him on. Shoot hoops with him down at the rec center on campus or go to the batting cage at the baseball diamond. Emily was always dismissive of his interests, so he’ll be so happy if you ask him questions about anything he’s interested in. And don’t worry, this is not a one-sided thing. Matt will support you in whatever you’re interested in as well. If you like to paint, he’ll take a painting class with you. If you like to write, he’ll ask so many questions about your stories. If you participate in a sport that he doesn’t, you bet that he’ll be out there on the field trying to learn the basics. Matt just loves spending time with you.

Matt is actually a decent cook. He’s a pro at meal prepping and reserves Sundays for cooking. As mentioned in a previous bullet point, Matt doesn’t like mess and is very organized, and this reflects in his meal prepping. The fridge is stocked full of healthy foods, with all the fruits and veggies cut up, all the meats seasoned well and cooked perfectly, and any condiments you need poured into little individual dipping containers. He has all your breakfasts and lunches neatly packed so you can grab them on the go. All your co-workers are in awe at how colorful and delicious your lunches are and you can’t help but brag that your boyfriend made them for you. It fills you with such pride when they all tell you Matt is a keeper.

Somewhere down the line, you and Matt bump into Emily, who Matt hasn’t talked to since Blackwood. At this point, you and Matt have been happily dating for almost a year, but yet, Matt hasn’t mentioned Blackwood to you, in hopes that he can just forget it and move on with his life. You both run into Emily at the grocery store and Matt knows that Emily is going to say something awful to you just by the way the woman looks you up and down in disgust.

“Jesus, Matt, you really downgraded, didn’t you?”

You’re honestly shocked and are speechless and Matt steps in between you too, holding up a hand to Emily. 

“Please, Em, don’t start anything.”

“What? Scared that they’re going to find out what a douche you really are? Are you going to leave them for dead too?”

You’re tugging on Matt’s sleeve. “Matt, what is she talking about?”

Emily smirks. “Wow, Matthew, keeping secrets? Figured you would be too cowardly to tell them all the shit you pulled back at Blackwood.”

Before Emily can continue, Matt pulls you away, ignoring Emily as she continues to taunt him. Both of you wander to one of the registers, bringing your shopping trip to an abrupt end. At this point, Matt doesn’t even care if you haven’t gotten everything on your list; he just wants to go home. Once you both get home, Matt doesn’t say anything, and just goes to the bedroom, shutting himself inside. You know not to push, knowing that Matt would just shut you out even more. You go about fixing dinner, constantly looking over your shoulder at the door of your shared bedroom, worried. 

“Matthew, dinner is ready!” 

No response.

You eat dinner alone, forcing yourself to eat, but eventually giving up since you don’t really have an appetite. You try to distract yourself by cleaning the dishes from dinner, on homework, on anything, but you find yourself pacing outside the bedroom door, internally debating on whether you should go in and confront Matt or let him come to you instead when he was ready. 

You decide on the former. Testing the doorknob and seeing that he never locked it, you push the door open, met with darkness. You feel your way towards the lamp that sits on your nightstand and flick it on, light flooding the room, and illuminating your boyfriend, who was curled up on the floor with his knees pulled to his chest and face buried in his arms. Kneeling beside him, you contemplated on how to start this conversation, before gently reaching out and touching his arm. 

“Matthew, please, talk to me.”

“You’ll hate me if I do,” he said, voice muffled.

“No, I won’t. Just please, speak to me. I don’t like it when you shut yourself out to me like this.”

Matt was quiet for a moment before lifting his head from his arms. That’s when he tells you everything: the prank he and his old friends played on Hannah, resulting in both her’s and Beth’s deaths; going back to Blackwood with Emily as his girlfriend and seeing her and Mike hugging through the telescope, causing him to be salty toward her for the rest of the night; rushing to the fire tower after Chris and Ashley told them about Josh getting killed by some psycho wandering around the mountain; the fire tower falling through the mines, trying his best to save Emily from falling, but only causing the tower to shift, resulting in her fall anyway; being grabbed by the Wendigo and only managing to escape because Emily had given him a flare gun she found at the tower; leading Jessica out of the mines and escaping with their lives. He poured his heart out, expressing his guilt in not trying hard enough to save Emily, remembering how scared he was that he had possibly caused her death.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell all of this to you sooner. I just...didn’t want you to think I was crazy or something and...I didn’t want you to think I was a horrible person. A failure because I couldn’t save Emily when that tower was falling.”

You’re quiet and the silence kills him, twisting his insides into a painful knot. He knew this was going to happen. He knew you would break up with him for being a failure, a horrible person, a-

“Matthew, there is no way in hell that I would ever think of you as a terrible person.”

Matt stares at you, stunned. “W-What?”

“You’re a good person, Matt. While I’m a little disappointed that you went along with that prank, you didn’t know what would happen to those two girls. If you had known, I know you wouldn’t have gone through with it. As for Emily, I know you tried your damnedest to save her. I didn’t believe her for a second when she said all that about you. Because I know you, Matthew, and I know you’ve got a big heart.”

Matt just looks at you, tears welling up in the corner of his eyes. That’s when he grabs you, pulling you close, burying his face in your chest, letting the tears fall. You hold him close, running your fingers through his hair, rubbing soothing circles into his back. 

“Thank you.” He tightens his hold on you. “I love you so fucking much.”

“I love you too, Matthew.”

[ohmrlove]

Heya! Could I please ask for headcanons from each of the boys dealing with a situation where the MC has been kidnapped and held hostage for 3 days, and they themselves are being demanded to hand something over (e.g something material/a specific person in high power)? The MC suffers something from minor to severe injuries. Not life-threatening but enough to hurt.

Interesting and dramatic! (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

Warning for mild violence. Nothing too descriptive, I think.

Also, it’s kind of long.

🍷 Victor 🍷

Being who he was, Victor fully expected the ransom to be money-related. It was.

He’d gotten the money together within hours of the first email showing you chained up in some dingy stone-walled cell.

He gave a press conference that said he was ready to hand over the money, to just contact him again. That had apparently spooked your captors; they didn’t contact him for two AGONIZING days.

He was collaborating with LPD as quietly as possible, afraid a strong counterattack would convince them to kill you

Victor had more enemies than he could count, and he had no clue who was behind it

That was the farthest thing from his mind as LPD fitted him with a bullet proof vest, a mic, and camera before sending him to the designated site

The briefcase was rigged with traps set to go off when too much money was removed. Things like dye packs and a nasty shock mechanism an engineering company was happy to supply

Victor walked through an old stone building--a fake castle?--and stared down the little bug that tried to intimidate him

Victor felt his face and neck grow hot with rage, Evol pulsing in his fingertips as he debated letting time slow down so he could beat this scum within an inch of his life

How had they found out about you? He worked with so many people! Why not take Goldman?

The businessman in him was begging to be sensible but Victor could never be very sensible when it came to you, could he?

Using his Evol to slow down time, Victor rushed the creep. It was a full-on scuffle, Victor quickly getting the upper hand when he used that briefcase full of money like the brick it was

Cuff link missing, blood on his suit jacket, and some buttons hanging limply from his shirt, Victor sat back to catch his breath. He wiped blood from his lip.

The guy was out cold; he’d probably broken some bones. He looked robbed, himself; Victor was very thorough--and angry--as he practically maimed the cretin to check for an ear piece or extra weapons

The assailant didn’t have time to contact friends and that made Victor feel a little better. Maybe it was a smaller operation than they assumed

He called for police backup to help sweep the place and found you in a cell at the back. It looked like something used for photographs, like a fun zone.

The chains from the picture were cheap and fake; they broke easily as he forced them open. The zipties around your wrists were much harder to get off, and Victor apologized as he wedged his big fingers between the plastic and your wrists to snap them.

It took effort, to the point where he had to brace a foot against the bars, but he got them off and that’s all that mattered.

You were very dehydrated--your lips and skin told him that. You felt like you had a fever, and your skin was raw and tender from fighting the binds. One half of your face was bruised and Victor choked with tears as you practically peeped his name, your voice weak and dry.

“It’s okay,” he held you in his arms for a minute, supporting your neck. You’d probably been in that same position for three days. It probably hurt like hell!

How was he even holding you? He was shaking so much...

“You’ll be okay!” Victor was rambling now, afraid to run to the entrance in case he hurt you anymore. “You’ll get the best care, I promise! Just hold on.” he rearranged you to let you rest against his shoulder.

 “And pudding?” he barely heard it.

Pudding? At a time like this? Maybe it’s because you were starved. But, then again, you were always going on about sweets.

“Of course, dummy...” Victor bumped his head against yours and carried you out. Once at the hospital, he didn’t leave your side. When you were discharged, he stuck to you like glue for the next two months.

📢 Gavin 📢

This is a situation they were all trained for, something they were cautioned could become a reality because people were sick and cruel. They were dirty, willing to do anything to get the upper hand.

Why wasn’t he ready? Gavin almost felt sick. It’s like what victims always say ‘Well, that could never happen to me!’

But it did, and now he was desperately trying to get his head on straight so he could coordinate with the negotiators. He’d almost been taken off the mission, as it was so personal, but he agreed to go in under a different captain to avoid conflict

He expected a prisoner swap or further negotiations on a trial, but this guy was just ranting on and on about how LPD backed a conspiracy instead of the facts. They’d tried the wrong person (according to the rant).

They did it wrong, didn’t look at it enough, missed the clues...

Sources were still out on whether this was a legitimate mental break.

Gavin hadn’t slept since he’d seen you on the news report. The standoff was on day three and he couldn’t even remember how many shift changes there’d been between snipers and others waiting to finish the situation

So far they’d brought in three different family members to try and calm the guy, but he wasn’t having it.

His adrenaline kept him from being tired and he tried to use that energy to playback HOW this guy could have gotten you. Did he just have bad luck? Were you just in the wrong place at the wrong time? Had this guy been stalking him...or you?!

He listened to yet another screaming match between a relative and the suspect. Gavin’s heart beat in his ears as the negotiator kept the phone call on blast for everyone to hear. Something set him off and suddenly you were sailing over the building like a rag doll

Gavin felt his Evol explode, bowling over the cluster of people around him as he shot off to catch you.

He don’t know if he caught you or if you hit him, but Gavin held onto you like your life depended on it (it did)

He hovered there for a few moments, unable to do anything but laugh as you whined about smacking into him. You had some cuts and bruises, and one of your eyes was black but you were okay!

Gavin took a big, shuddering inhale as he pressed you to his body, fingers tangling in your hair

He probably hugged you way too hard, but he’d apologize later

He received clearance from the captain to ride in the ambulance with you, and he did. You were really disoriented as they took your vitals and figured out what drips to give you but you still reached for his hand.

Gavin wrapped both hands around your battered one. “I’m here.”

🔬 Lucien 🔬

There was no witty remark or playful sarcasm. Just burning rage and a cool calculated feeling.

Lucien wasn’t usually the self-absorbed type but he knew he could outsmart whatever idiot took you

He wasn’t surprised that they wanted top-secret research. Most evil entities do for one reason or another.

Lucien was more than ready to hand over gibberish copies that looked like the real thing but wouldn’t have any critical information. Things that, with the right graphics, would look like what they wanted. A bunch of scientific bullshit, basically.

They were after a few specimen, too, and Lucien had a near-impossible time convincing himself not to straight-up poison them with some toxic bacterial strains. Engineering bacteria was within his skill set and he’d love to see them suffer slowly

Forgeries take time, especially the types they were asking for. The three days past unbelievably slow--Lucien could hardly focus. The end goal of protecting you and making these look realistic enough to trade helped him pull through

Meeting at the docks was a bit cliche, something he’d only seen in the movies, but that further confirmed his suspicions that the info needed to travel and would be used for something big

He’d made LPD aware of the situation, the two parties agreeing not to broadcast any information. They could have the fanfare after catching them in the water.

Lucien adjusted the folder, jostling the pages so the hidden scalpel slid into the sleeve of his lab coat. There were only two men for the small boat, and you were sitting tied up on the edge of the dock. A cinder block sat nearby, undoubtedly tied to you.

All it would take is one nudge and--Lucien focused on the guy speaking, handed over the folder with an empty look, and stabbed him as hard as he could when the cool metal hit his palm.

The first guy got three or four stabs in the gut, Lucien swinging the scalpel up as the second one came at him. He definitely sliced him. Lucien was foggy on the rest.

He threw an elbow and lunged for you as that block slipped off the dock. Lucien hugged it to his chest, pulling with all his might to keep you dangling over the dock. Time seemed to drag forever as he curled his head and waited for the second guy to start stomping his back out--something

All of a sudden lights were thrown--big spot lights used in sea searches. Engines roared to life as LPD boats flooded the docks. One came to rest beneath you, and they coaxed him into letting go. He fell with you; he’d never forgive himself if something happened to you.

Drowning would be a terrible way to go, and you didn’t deserve it.

The fall would give you more bruises and you were already covered in them. Your throat was a little dark, like they’d grabbed you at one point, and Lucien had never wished so hard to return the favor.

He gave up trying to test your pupils with the pen light because all he could see was sheer hysteria. Lucien cradled you in his lap as they cut the block off, rocking you back and forth. “It’s okay, I’ll take care of you.” he smoothed out your hair.

🎤 Kiro 🎤

If any big scandal were to happen, he expected it to happen as Kiro the idol, not Key.

The ultimatum was quick to trend on social media--someone was calling Key out and they had a hostage.

A grainy video was attached and Kiro’s heart nearly stopped when he saw it was you.

He went to great lengths to conceal his identity as Key, so how did they know? He’d been pretty excited about that Key exoneration segment when it aired; maybe they considered him a VERY popular Key sympathizer. Someone who had influence over the real Key.

He was just starting to introduce you to his fanbase as his most favorite, his love, his Miss Chips. Maybe it was his fault...

His manager and the others were also shocked, and there was little to stop him when he left in a panic

It was quite traumatic, seeing your loved one held hostage. No one expected him to cooperate with his schedule after that.

Kiro barricaded himself at home, working feverishly in all the back channels as Key. He wouldn’t stop until you were safe!

You were probably being held by a criminal organization, as all the ‘tests’ revolved around funneling money and getting them air time.

It was difficult work, setting up paths that couldn’t be traced while dropping anonymous hints to LPD. Kiro was trying to make it seem like your kidnappers were arrogant enough to play a cat-and-mouse game with LPD.

After almost three days, he found their location. They could hide things with temporary blocks and back doors, but Kiro wasn’t your average hacker. They made a mistake to call out one of the best. Especially when they couldn’t compare.

These people were dumb enough to stream from a computer, and all it took was sending the coordinates to the LPD after stripping some protections. He even attached a few screenshots of the live stream for proof, and he got to watch in real time as they busted the place and got you out of there

Kiro didn’t know if he wanted to cry, collapse, or sleep

All three, really.

He changed into ‘Kiro’ clothes, made several phone calls to hospitals in the area, his manager, and even chief of police so he could figure out where they’d taken you.

Kiro’s adrenaline was back, the only thing saving him from falling asleep during the ride. He made it all the way to your hospital bed, unable to comprehend how you could look so pale and beaten up

It nearly broke his heart to see you like this, and he hated that he couldn’t use his Evol on himself to calm down.

“Kiro? You found me?” you were so drugged and tired you probably didn’t know what was happening.

“I’ll always find you!” Kiro scrubbed tears from his eyes with one hand, the other refusing to let yours go

Seeing you was so relaxing. He could hold you and feel your pulse beating in your wrist and he was so relieved!

Kiro could finally rest, and he did. He woke up right beside you, in a bed of his own, being treated for exhaustion and malnutrition. Your hand was still in a death grip and he couldn’t be happier.

Wow, this was super long! I hope you liked it! I tried to make them all original :o

[prurientpuddlejumper]

Custom Funko Pop Tutorial

@xirayn asked for a tutorial, so I made one! 

Tools you’ll need:

Craft paints 

Paint brushes (small)

Primer 

Sealant 

Sandpaper (400 - 800 grit, sold in hardware stores and automotive)

Sculpting tools 

X-Acto blade

Milliput (epoxy clay) 

* Airbrush

* Masking tape/painter’s tape

* Dremel

* Acetone (nail polish remover)

* Optional 

Make sure you buy small detail brushes. The largest I use are about the width of a pencil eraser (though slightly larger ones are good for big fill areas like hair).  For the finest lines and details, look for brushes specifically made for painting tabletop miniatures. 

For paints, any acrylic hobby paint will do, but I am hugely fond of Formula P3 paints (the kind made for tabletop minis). They’re heckin’ expensive, but they come in a million shades so you don’t have to mix colors and then later find a spot you missed but the original color you mixed has all dried and you’ll never be able to get the exact same shade again x_x And I really do think they don’t chip/scratch as easily as other paints. 

...but I started out painting Warmachine minis so I might be a little biased.

Step 1: Choose Base Model

Think about the character you want to make. What is the closest existing Funko Pop model you can find? The closer you can get, the less work you’ll have to do! Sometimes a simple head-swap or re-paint is all that’s needed. 

When you look for base models, look at things like pose, expression, and unique features (like bared teeth). Look past the character a model represents, and think of how you could transform it into the character you want to make. The bubbliest, cutest Pop could be the ideal base model for your horrifying monster custom! 

Kurama will become Yoko Kurama

Ghost will become Wash the cattle dog

Step 2 (Optional): Decapitate

If you’re doing a head-swap, this step is critical. If you’re just sculpting and painting, this is still a good step to make your life easier (just try sculpting in the crevices of a character’s shoulders underneath their hair!)

Put a small pot on the stove, filled with enough water to cover the head and neck when you dunk your pop in upside down. Bring the heat up to not-quite boiling, and drown the *#$%er gently bathe it in hot water. 

The rubber will soften and make it easier to pull off. Use a hand-towel to grab the head (it will be hot), and pull until it comes off. Some are easier than others. Some people skip the heating step altogether and just yank the head right off! 

Step 3: Sculpt

Wash has floppy ears, and there are no Funko Pop models with ears quite like his. So, to get the angle right, I cut the model’s ears off with an exacto knife, then re-attached them at a floppier angle. 

I worked one ear at a time on Wash, letting the first ear harden in place first, because I am extremely clumsy. 

Kurama needed a significant amount of material removed for his straighter hair, bare arms, and short pants. I used an X-Acto blade and Dremel with a sanding bit.

Depending on your project, you may need to use acetone to remove paint (ex. facial hair).

After you’ve carved everything down as much as you need, and finished prepping the basic shape, it’s time for additive sculpting! I use Milliput, but you can also use Apoxie Sculpt, or air-dry clay. I’ve even heard of people using polymer clay and hardening it carefully with low heat, but an epoxy clay will give the most durable and detailed result.

 Wash needed floppy ear-tips to complete the look, and Yoko needs robes. Again, I work a section at a time, letting each section harden before continuing. 

Step 4: Sand

After the sculpting has hardened, sand any imperfections. The Dremel is your friend when taking off lots of material. For less extreme sanding, I use 400-grit and 800-grit sandpaper. You may need to add fresh material to fill and smooth any gaps.   

Step 5: Prime

Once you’re happy with how your model looks, it’s time to paint! I mix Golden Adhesion Medium with black or white paint if I’m hand priming, or use a spray primer, but you can use whatever you prefer. 

For an aerosol primer, choose a ventilated area (I like to work outside in the summer), and place the figure on top of a cardboard box for height, and so you can rotate it easily. If you’re inside, you should also set up a back-splash so you don’t paint the walls.  

Do a few test sprays on the cardboard first to make sure it’s spraying evenly. Then spray in light coats following the instructions on the can, rotating to get all angles, and letting each coat dry before putting on the next coat. 

(Here’s a good tutorial just on priming!)

Step 6: Paint

You’ll never get as smooth a finish as using an airbrush! A decent airbrush kit and mini air compressor aren’t too expensive, and a great investment if you want a professional-looking finish! (I was afraid of the airbrush for a long time and now I hate working without it!). 

Get some painter’s tape or masking tape, cover every part of the model you don’t want to get paint on, then airbrush in your color! 

You can also do cool tricks with the airbrush, like reducing air pressure to create a stippled effect!

When hand-painting, make sure you thin your paints and apply multiple thin coats instead of trying to get full coverage in one thick coat. You’ll reduce visible brush-strokes that way, and the paint will adhere better, too.

Even if you have an airbrush, chances are you’ll be doing some hand-painting anyway. I did Wash’s brown spots, inner ears, and Yoko’s entire body by hand, because masking all those tiny details would be a pain in the booty.

Step 7: Seal

Once you’re done painting, a good sealant will prevent your work from chipping, or from fading in the sun if you use a sealant with UV protection. It can also hide imperfections in the finish (ex. I spot-painted a few areas the airbrush missed, and even though it was the same color, you could see the difference in texture. Matte sealant made it look completely uniform again!) 

Sealant can also be used in between coats of paint when masking if you’re worried about the tape pulling paint off.

I use Golden Archival Varnish - Satin Finish, Testor’s Dullcote, or Mr. Super Clear. They’ve all worked well for me (though Mr. Super Clear is the most expensive and the most aggressively matte). Apply the same way you would a primer. 

A thin layer of Mod-Podge adds shine back to the eyes after applying a matte sealant. 

Finished!

[whstletomyheart]

Why YG TREASURE BOX is a complete mess and YG is playing with us. (A rant?)

First, its important to understand what or YGTB is and how it was promoted for this we should understand the events that happened before.

NOTE: YG will be referred to as a they since there are other people besides YHS Making the Decisions.

All of YG’s boy groups were made through survival shows.

BIGBANG=BIGBANG DOC

WINNER=WIN

IKON=WIN/M&M

So it was pretty obvious that they would reuse this concept for their new bg.

Now its safe to assume that the group was set to be made around Bang Yedam, he’s popular in Korea plus that he was the moat famous trainee .

Now this is the general assumption that the original silver boys lineup ot11 were the lineup set up to debut. This is the reason why they were promoted through Mixnine (GonSukKyu) and Stray Kidz (YG vs JYP). But we all know Mixnine failed and that some trainees left making YG To rethink their concept and lineup.

Now we must remember that prior to the show starting YG teased that Yedam, Hyunsuk and Raesung were basically confirmed members.

Raesung, due to personal reasons decided to not participate in the show (the best decisions honestly).

Currently YG as a company is at a point were every fandom in it has problems with the company. This is all due to the amount of mismanagement towards the majority if not all the groups and artists. YG despite being the house of great and unique artists doesn’t know how to mange them which leads to long hiatus, less music and cbs,etc.

Now lets analyze the problems with the shows format. Moat idol survival shows have the same format. Which is simply individual competition. This means that the contestants will be evaluated and the voting will be individual or 1 pick (produce 101).

YGTB showed the beginning to be more a team survival show in other words a group compete with other groups (Win). But around the second and third episode its revealed that the show will be individual, shifting the format. This is first seen strange since a consistent theme in YGs previous groups is their teamwork but this is because since predebut the trainees are grouped into groups.

In the show we are never truly explained about how the show works and if it is its vague and very contrictdactory. Plus a lot of unfair and frankly weird things are shown ( compared to other survival shows)

Examples of this are:

• Number of final lineup is always changing: from 7 to 9 to 7 to 6 to 5 to 7 it would change depending the mood od the ceo.

• YHS changes rules at whim: YHS changes or adds rules

• Missions: the missions to compete against the treasure team were barely explained. Winpink came to the show mostly just for name Dropping cause they didn’t show why they chose who they chose. The ep were winner 2seung was going to examine their performances was cut to almost nothing more than click Bait.

• The rounds or missions made little sense , at the beginning it 1:1 , then 2:2 (duo), then team genre(?)/concept (in my opinion they weren’t that different in my opinion to be a concept eval but oh well)and putting a position battle at the end ……makes little sense

In Produce and other shows its usually a cover, position, concept and then original song evaluation. Showing the growth.

• Lack of original ygtb songs most survival shows make their own songs fir the concept and final evaluations (example Mixnine). YG is company that prides on self production but not once was this used despite various trainee being able to ( Yedam, Hyunsuk, Byounggon, Asahi, Yoshinori, etc.) . Even if the boys couldn’t yg producers could’ve made songs just like in Mixnine.

• Lack of fan events besides liking a trainees video and channel there weren’t chances for the fans to feel really close to them. With the individual channels they could’ve done random lives but no. Or fanmeetings.

Despite this the show did release a series of interesting content that honestly saved the show.

• Not letting all the trainees participate in the treasure swap and cutting and not airing the performances certain trainees made. Leaving the fans to have to watch fancams.

Now to explain the real mess, throughout the whole show fans were confused on how they could help their faves in terms of voting. YG opens voting till the last 2 episodes and makes it a group voting meaning you have to vote for a group of trainees. According to fans this means that the lineup with most votes will have an advantage to debut. On the last ep its revealed that Isn’t case at all. The trainees only got extra points depending on how many ranks or lineups they were in. In other words again it was individual voting. They didn’t explain this till ep 10 when the voting’s was done. Along with this they added the final nail to the coffin. These online votes were only worth 20% of the final score. With onsite votes at a 30%. But YHS gets 50% of the score, so basically YHS gets to choose at the end od the day so fan votes mean close to nothing. If a trainee did well on votes but isn’t YGs fave they wont pass and vice versa.

On top of all of this YG makes sure fans aren’t in the recording of the ranking to obviously avoid discord and only announces half the lineup for what we can only assume is for drama. Only YG and some staff know the lineup. Instead of releasing it all its adding more anxiety and desperation . Which can be seen in the fighting, the rumors and spamming.

Now that we’ve established that YGTB is a mess of a show that makes Mixnine look good, lets talk about favoritism and screentime. And why I don’t understand YGs intentions and the lineup.

Ok let get this out of the way YG/YHS always plays favorites, this isn’t new at all. We can see in the show that there are trainees YHS likes way more compared to others. In other words he tends to be very biased. On top that he likes to brag. The first ep is basically look at all the visuals I got.

All it takes is to watch the show to know who Yg/YHS like more baaed on screentime and arcs made. Lets Look at the confirmed members most got solid screentime. Yedam is pushed from the get go to being a super star trainee that is basically god where other trainees don’t want to be against him. Junkyu is cute and talented a good future asset, we see how he gets screentime from the start with his confidence arc. Plus its important to note that in Mixnine YHS’s fave was Junkyu . Haruto from the start was the Japanese trainee YG was interested in and he Gets the most screentime from the Japanese trainees. Jeongwoo was promoted through his vocal and how yg likes him, he gets attention. Junghwan On the other hand gets way less screentime then the other member but still way more than other less known trainees.

That being said a lot of the team b, team c and team j trainees get very little to no screentime. Jongseob who won Kpop Star didn’t get much screentime and performance was cut. Mashiho’s screentime is mostly reactions or being a friend.

Silver boys got the most screentime overall they focused a lot on their teamwork and bond giving fans the hope that they would debut. Which is were im frankly confused and would love to understand the why.

Why make silver boys participate in this show and emphasize so much on them for basically nothing?

Why bring Jihoon back?

Why bring Seunghun back?

After hours and hours of thinking and reading opinions. I came to a few theories:

A) YG wants to debut a fresh, young and visual new bg. For whatever reason, so choosing the younger trainees makes sense. Probably modeled around Yedam for a more pop sound in comparison to WinKon Some accounts state that a lot of kfans were pushing yg for a younger and visual group. Basically discarding the older trainees. Also this lineup has YGs faves who were the younger ones. If this is true YG will debut Yoonbin and Masiho or Yoonbin and Jaehyuk (his screentime in the last episodes makes me think so). Basically in this theory YG had an idea from the get go and they only used the silver boys for clout. This is the theory that makes me the saddest tbh. But still it doesn’t explain why yg would care so much about silver boys. Like bringing them back and emphasizing so mucho on how they’re a team. Plus it discards the power Hyunsuk has with one of the most stable fandoms.

B) The theory before the lineup was dropped was that yg Is testing the silver boys for the last time which made sense till the last episode. But SB stans have been very loud and spammed his Instagram, trended a hashtag and are contacting companies. This means they have a strong fandom so this might help.

C) YG will add more members to the lineup I think 9 is more realistic than 11. Based on screentime maybe Hyunsuk + Seunghun.

D) YG will debut all of ot13, doubt this since YG hasn’t have that big of a group and I don’t think YG can handle it. If it was SM yeah but not this. (I like this one tho )

E) YG will debut ot13 but in 2 teams a pop team and hip-hop team. Pop=treasure7 Hip-hop=silver boys +a member (I love this)

F) YG will debut SB but under the black label.

G) YG wont do anything except debuting the og treasure7 . And the sbs will leave the company and split up.

These are all the theories I have.

Tldr: YGTB has a lot of flaws as a survival show being extremely unfair and the situation with the lineup is the most chaotic thing ever. Whatever yg does will make people mad.

The worst part is that it worked as always YG doing the minimal manages to pull us in just to disappoint us. Just that he managed to drag more people this time.

At this point I’m done with the guessing and the rumors, I just really want to know what’s going on and the security that my faves are ok even if they’re in or not in the group. Cause not debuting in the group isn’t the end they can debut with another group or go solo. My point is that it isnt the end for their careers.

[survivorgalaxysedge]

Episode 6 | Your Social Game Is On 0! - MJ

WHOOPS I KINDA DID THAT, SORRY KEEGAN, YOU DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG I JUST NEED EVERYONE ON THIS TEAM TO BE BFFS WITH ME

also just realized that at final 13 i know well over half of the people in the game..... love that for me!! -close with ali, jonathan, and zoe over here both separately & together -mj obvs -cindi and jay are known quantities -jules is great too -so only ones i don’t know.... silver, zach, asya, nathan & jessie i know i can work with at least half of the ones i know, probably more - only real question mark is cindi cuz she was a little sus originally, and jay i hope is still good but i think he and keegan were close so might have to work on explaining that one. but overall, i feel pretty well set for merge whenever it gets here, and hopefully the next couple votes can get rid of some of those ones i don’t know. onward and upward! we’ll see!!!

I don't really do much text confessionals but I just ranted in my host chat so I'm sending it here. ~~This Round~~ this round is gonna be fun, so much fun, and I won't have to do like any gameplay because I think regardless the trian tribe is going to tribal and I wanna see how that plays out, and then if my tribe goes to tribal I'm gonna dip out using my safety without power and let silver kill an og circi since he's gonna pull out that extra vote however, if asya or jules have an advantage / if mj flips that's fine with me too. I'm still debating playing the solar eclipse. I want to cause chaos, and for what? For no reason. *Moments Later* I spun a wheel to determine what I will do this round, and it landed on not playing the solar eclipse and noping out. that's what I'm doing. now you may ask for the strategic value of letting a circi die? Well, if a Circi goes (or two circis go if it's an andro/circi tribal), I'm suddenly 1/2 of my OG tribe left. People may want to pick me up and use me as a number since I will have no allegiance to anyone. This puts me in a lowkey kind of decent position if I lie and say I was gonna be voted out if I didn't safety w/o power. Also playing a safety without power and claiming the magnet would statistically mean I am less likely to have other advantages since other people had searches stockpiled for the swap I'll probably test the waters for a bit after immunity results and then play the magnet to make it look like it wasn't planned and I just got a bad feeling. In other words: I'm turning the crackhead dial-up, it's time for fun! I swear to god if we don't merge after this round I will scream. ~~Planning for the Future~~ oh my god it could be a 10 person merge. because the merge episode is usually episode 8. we're on 6 but that wouldn't make sense to prevent a 5 > 1 person tribe from occurring and 5 votes in a swap seems like a bit much. I feel like at this point I know I probably won't win this game but I'm gonna give them hell while I'm here playing well is boring People on this cast that will probably try to kill me: Cindi, Jay, Nathan, Maybe Jesse? I haven't really spoken much to MJ or Silver, chances are my closest ally is going home this round, Zoe Jonathan and Ari may pick me up if I'm from a minority tribe but dump me very quickly. From my POV the cards are not in my favor, all I have are my advantages so the path of chaos is more beneficial plus I'm sure it's spread I'm pretty good at immunities in merge so they're gonna try to take me out early on like round 1 or 2, So if I want any chance I need to play the following way Since I cannot depend on social connections as much as I normally would 1. Make sure my existing social connections are voted out so that I am not in the group where I don't have the best social connections but I have enough that it is worrisome 2. Play my advantages early in merge if I don't win immunity, cementing myself as a big target 3. Convince people that nobody will take me deep into the game because I have placed myself in the position of a big target 4. Try to get the people that would be 100% against me voted out, while also watching Andro tribe majority. Basically making Andro and Trian fight each other 5. Win immunities near the end and somehow make it deep??? That's my best case scenario at this point in my opinion.

So like we won immunity . Wow see what happens when we actually try? Isn’t that nice . Idc who goes really I can make new bonds or whatever with people if silver goes but in the ideal scenario he will stay. But tbh I have no power over what happens tonight so I don’t care. Hoping merge happens next 

ok so i have a little cute vote chat for me jules and mj. mj is spilling EVERYTHING abt his OG tribe including how they blindsided my wife pippa... rude. also abt his idol searches. he's a smart cookie and one to watch for but i also like him and need friends so<3

THIS SUCKS SO MUCHHHHHH ALI I AM SO SORRY

Having to remind myself that is entirely okay to be vengeful and even be blinded by revenge in these games. I've become way too soft for these things in the past couple of years. As of right now, tonight's tribal council should be 2-1-1, since Zach is skipping -- 2 votes for Silver (Asya, Jules), 1 vote Jules (Silver), and 1 vote Asya (me). If Silver's 50/50 coin lands on SAFE, the it’ll tie between Aysa and Jules and I think I’ll get auto-eliminated if it’s rocks instead of a 1v1 tiebreaker, and I’m OK with that I think! If it lands on NOT SAFE then Silver is leaving, period! And Silver deserves to leave, and I shouldn't feel nervous about taking this shot, no matter if it backfires or not. It makes me feel icky to think that Nathan, Jessie, and Silver were in cahoots from the very start and I didn't care enough to control my own game because I've become too accustomed to jellyfishing my way through ORGs to avoid being pinpointed as a leader or strategist. I'm putting my foot down tonight. I'm taking this shot and if it works, then it's merely the beginning of the end for half of the remaining cast as far as I'm concerned. If it backfires, then oh well, at least I tried something here. NO REGRETS! Anyway, just had the first alliance call with Aysa and Jules and it was great! Good vibes! We just chit-chatted and discussed strategy and previous dynamics. It will be a shame if we don’t get to push forward together after tonight. I’m also telling Silver right now not to play the 50/50 befcause if it doesn’t land on safe then the vote will be 3-2 if Aysa is lying; and if Aysa is telling the truth then he’s wasting a power that he could have later on. It kinda makes no sense for him to use the 50/50 considering the information he’s being told. I’m fine with pitching this to him because he said he was 100% gonna use it anyway, so me telling him not to will either leave things the same or result in him not using it at all. There’s no losing there. The only way to lose is if it lands on safe. The savage in me is saying, no MJ don’t let yourself get auto-eliminated if things go south, CUT JULES! And I realize that that’s exactly how I should be thinking given the first two lines of this confessional!!! But I wanna be a risk taker. I’m fine with this blowing up because the potential reward is greater than me being auto-eliminated. + Jack was rocked out last season so it would be cute to match that if it comes down to it! I hope it doesn’t, but it’s fine either way. I feel like this game owes me. Silver's 50/50 will not land on safe.

ALSO on this alliance call, I was informed that the adventure reset?!?!?!?! AND I HAVEN'T DONE THEM IN A WEEK???? LMFAOOOOO anyway.

AHHHH why did I volunteer to go first in the challenge ugh I remembered the wrong shit lol. But this tribal I dont think I have to use my 50/50 since asya doesn't wanna go to rock so she'll vote Jules with us. So yeah I think I'll be ok. Asya told me Jules is voting MJ. I'm just hoping this isnt gonna be a big blindside towards me but yeah wish me luck 

okay, here's the plan. silver has the glowing orb 50/50 coin thing. i expect him to play it. silver's voting me. im voting silver and so is asya. mj is king of the key here. if mj votes silver and the orb makes him safe, then im gone. if mj votes asya (hang on, ive just had a realization and just had to sit in silence for a while whilst i process it.) okay. if mj votes asya and the coin makes silver safe, it'll be 2-1-1, with a tie between me and asya. which im just now realizing could send it to rocks where mj would be the one leaving............. boy howdy, sure wish i knew how to count. okay, yeah. we'll just hope that the coin lands on NOT SAFE -or- he doesnt play it at all. mj and asya are telling him that they're voting me out, so maybe he'll feel comfy enough not to use it. i dont WANT asya to be voted out, but it's better than me or mj being the vote. if mj gets rocked out by default because i didnt realize how to count....... oops!!! but silver has a bunch of advantages, so him getting voted out would flush those out. asya has an immunity shard and id like to think that she'd will it to me if she gets voted out, but eye dee kay!

AHHH sorry this is coming so late but I've had a busy busy few days, and luckily I've avoided tribal during this time lol So before I was feeling a bit shaky on this tribe, I felt like everyone was more connected to each other than to me. But as it turns out, that's completely untrue and I feel very at the center of this tribe. Nathan and I have had multiple long talks recently where we've decided that we want to stick together deep into this game, and he's given me some info about how he and Silver gave up their immunity shards to Jessie, so she has an idol now. Cindi and I have a connection from our original tribe too and I've been keeping up on that relationship too. I gave her a clue I found during an expedition but nothing really came of it since it's, as far as I can tell, impossible to decipher. If we did end up going to tribal, I would have made a push to take out Jessie TBH, even though she has the idol. I feel like even if Nathan wasn't for it, they'd go for Cindi and not me. But luckily that doesn't matter because we're immune and likely heading for a merge in the next 30 minutes. And if not a merge, than another swap bc I think y'all hosts anticipated that one tribe could have lost all of the last 3 immunities and I don't think you want a 2 person tribe at the f11. But yeah I feel really good about my place in the game, I want Nathan to be my shield for the time being bc he's so vocal and strategic that he will always be a target ahead of me.

I have put so much work in to stay

I BETTER STAY

All this fighting for nothing smh <3 it is not looking good

[pierrehardy]

Until We Meet Again, Globalization

A globalized world is one of those concepts that economists would see as an ideal world—a world with less friction in doing business. Globalization removes the friction made by countries' borders: people can work anywhere, products can ship anywhere, businesses can set up anywhere, capital be yeeted anywhere, and supply chains be set up anywhere. It comes with costs, but its benefits outweigh it: it makes products cheaper, innovation faster, and workforces more talented, to name a few.

Sadly, over the last decade, globalization has been taking hits, and the final blow is made by COVID-19. This write-up is about how we can expect deglobalization. We'll talk about what caused it, what will replace it, and what will be the consequences. We will also touch upon how different supply chains will look like because of the COVID-19.

TL;DR

First blow to the chin: the 2008 financial crisis. The second blow is to the body: The sino-American trade war. The winning shot: the COVID-19. And down goes globalization.

With the pandemic exposing how chaotic countries bicker, people are understandably uncomfortable because their safety relies on cooperation and intricate supply chains. Nowadays, countries refuse to play nice and supply chains are too China-dependent, a country that won’t hesitate to coerce anyone critical of them. Plus just the fact that everyone’s eggs are in one basket. This triggers a trend away from globalization and towards self-reliance. As an economist, this is not ideal.

First of all, what is globalization anyway?

The idea is a more global world. Cheesily, this means a world with fewer borders. This means supply chains can cross countries with ease, and so can goods (with trade), money (capital), and people (as workers or citizens). 

Okay, so what's replacing it?

As I mentioned, self-reliance. This means supply chains will be rejiggered (this deserves its own bullet point further on) and the flow of capital will be more controlled. National champions (aka local firms) will be prioritized. Doesn't sound so bad, no? But it kind of is. 

See, restricted capital flow means the money can't freely go where it needs. Without restriction, money naturally goes to where it is most efficient (Mind you, efficiency is not always humane. But that’s a discussion for another time. But just take it from me for now: it’s a good thing). Restrict that, and you miss out on better investments and businesses miss out on capital. 

National champions are also known to have a high chance of being zombie firms. If your local company is the best at what it does, that's alright. But if it's not, then you're getting the short end of the stick by either getting an inferior product, or a more expensive product or maybe both. 

Travel in all forms will be politicized: for tourism, for business, and for migration. Trade and tourism will have to deal with travel bubbles and copious amounts of testing and quarantining when arriving and leaving. Meaning, there will be a lot of friction. 

Immigration will be more restrictive. With unemployment surging everywhere in the world, governments will be more protectionist. 

Let's talk about supply chains. Here are some educated speculations on what will change. In general, though, the trade-off is between safety and efficiency, with the pandemic calling for more security.

Things will be less "lean" as inventories get fuller. One part safety against supply chain disruption and one part because of the accelerating trend for e-commerce. Online shops need 3x more inventory space than physical shops. 

Supply chains will move away from China. But just as you can't spell Supply Chain with China, it'll be more of a China+1 sort of deal. Having all chains in China is the opposite of diversification, after all, so this spreading out may bring some benefits. We have a chance to make a safer chain, albeit not as cost-effective. 

Those hoping that this may bring back jobs might be disappointed. First, offshoring some administrative tasks may be a trend. Managers realized that telecommuting works and may want to cost-cut and outsource some more administrative tasks to remote workers from cheaper countries. 

The trend towards automation is also accelerating. They're cheaper and more efficient in the long run and plus, they don’t get sick.

Ultimately, deglobalization will make us worse off.

Recovery from this crisis will be slower. Self-resilience will result in more expensive products, especially in wealthier countries, hurting consumers. Developing countries will also find it harder to progress since we will get less business and less collaboration to catch up technologically. 

The world will be geopolitically more unstable. You only need to read the news to see that this is already happening. A world order worth maintaining requires international cooperation, and the same goes for solving global problems like climate change. A more disconnected world will not help. 

Less globalization is literally the opposite of diversification. This will make economies more fragile and vulnerable. Globalization, like capitalism, isn't perfect, but instead of throwing it away, fixing it is still the best thing to do.

Was the TL;DR still too long? Ah well. Don't want to rewrite it. It'll do.

What brought it down?

To be clear, globalization wasn't knocked out by the virus single-handedly. Instead, it's been beaten down for more than a decade now, starting with the 2008 financial crisis. This was the last recession we had before this bastard of a year that is 2020. A housing bubble and lousy loaning practices brought down the world's financial system, with Lehman Brothers being the most famous victim. This spooked the world, stagnating trade and foreign investments. But that much is understandable.

After that, globalization would pick up again, but never back to its previous levels. Then came the second hit: Donald Trump. He waged a full-on trade war against China and basically anybody. This hastened the decoupling of the technology spheres between China and America, making for a world with less innovation.  Add Brexit to the mix, and you can see that the 2010s weren't a good decade for economists.

Then finally, the pandemic. Aside from the apparent effects of the whole world going into lockdown and businesses closing, there are two other things that the virus exposed that would turn people off from globalization: a Chinese supply chain and the truth behind global cooperation.

When China went into a harsh lockdown at the beginning of the pandemic, it paralyzed so many supply chains. This paralysis in businesses shocked people into realizing that they've been building supply chains all wrong: a global supply chain purported by globalization was, in reality, more of a Chinese supply chain. This goes against the idea that globalization promotes diversified supply chains, which would be safer.

The pandemic, which needed global cooperation, exposed that countries are barely capable of it. Globalization, it seems, did nothing to bring the countries closer. It showed how France and UK bickered on health protocols to China bullying naysayers like Australia to America too busy with internal conflicts to assume leadership (though their establishments of trade swaps with central banks around the world was commendable.)

All the chaos that was unveiled frustrated as well as scared the public: why do we have to rely on cooperation with uncooperative countries to survive? People will understandably demand their governments to be more independent and resilient. People are not comfortable with the fact that a bulk of medical supplies come from China, a country that won't hesitate to coerce anybody critical of them. And what the public wants, the public (usually) gets. Bye for now, globalization. 

 What will replace globalization?

In general, the world will be a more unfriendly and disconnected place. There will be three primary outcomes: politicized migration, politicized travel, and a rise in self-reliance. That last outcome may sound like a good thing, but it's not. I'll explain more a bit later on but a quick summary is basically that cheesy quote: united we stand, divided we fall.

Migration is an issue that has been very political recently, especially in the US. Now that Trump has a valid excuse, he's sure to use it. The pandemic did cause an all-time high in unemployment rates. Restricting new workers and citizens into the country is a solution that many Americans will find sensible: fewer newcomers and less competition for scarce jobs. But this is horrible to businesses that rely on highly skilled foreign talent. 

Travel will be trickier since not all countries are fighting the virus with equal levels of competency. Some states are either unsafe to travel to or ban foreigners from entering to keep the 'rona out. This doesn't just affect tourism but also traveling for work and for goods.

Businesses that span borders rely on travel to get going. This is the most obvious impact of travel restrictions to the unraveling of globalization and international business. 

Goods would ship much slower due to added restrictions and stricter border checks. 

As for other forms of travel, talk of "travel bubbles" is something I've heard lately. Basically, it's when countries form groups of free travel among each other. The formation of such bubbles would depend on how integrated their trade and workers are and their infection rates. This will also require trust (already a dealbreaker to most) or plenty of testing during departure and arrival. 

Governments around the world are already taking action or voicing sentiments (like India and Japan) to be more self-reliant. For example, America urged Intel to bring supply chains closer to home and the EU has drafted plans to back up their supply chains and mark some strategic goods that should be made closer to home. Defenses against predatory buying of foreigners to weakened local companies are also being set up. What else can happen?

The first thing that may occur is that the public may become more nationalistic when it comes to which companies to support. This may partly be because so many local companies are propped up by their own tax money. 

Another possibility is restricted capital outflow, keeping investments at home. This can lead to less return on investments for locals and less capital for poorer countries.

The most interesting outcome would be how supply chains will change because of this. This warrants its own section.

Supply chain regionalization

Fundamentally, when trying to speculate on which direction supply chains will change, it's a trade-off between safety and efficiency. The corona thing gave the urge for more security while sacrificing some efficiency and cost savings. Here's a list of educated speculations.

Inventories will grow.

The way of working that prizes efficiency the most is anything with "lean" slapped in the title. So we can expect that there will be a downtrend for lean manufacturing. Still, I also anticipate this to be temporary. People are generally myopic and short-minded, and when things stabilize, the hunger for efficiency will return. But for the short term, inventories shall be fuller. 

If history is a guide, [1] investors will reward businesses that will moderately increase their stocks for safety in a time of crisis.

When lockdowns forced shops to close, this boosted e-commerce. Additionally, weakened firms may also close more shops to save money on rent and instead, rely on e-commerce more. This expected growth of e-commerce will require more inventory since online shops need three times the warehouse space than physical ones.

Companies will indulge in short term ways to increase safety.

One way to increase safety is to raise cash on hand for companies and to have enough buffers to withstand tough times. 

Now a bit contrary to the previous point, which is about saving money to be safe, another way is to spend money to be safe. Basically like paying insurance for when things go south. This need is more apparent now, during a crisis. During good times, companies will usually drag their feet to spend on something that's not immediately and obviously needed. But at least for now, they will. 

Reduce payables and pay a premium for safer and more redundant suppliers. Also, to help the suppliers out and cultivate a good relationship with them because if they go down, they will drag you with them. 

Reduce product margins in favor of less efficient but safer practices. Good luck convincing investors with this plan, though. 

Supply chains will shift away from China… a bit. More plausible is this China+1 policy that's been floating around. China will still be a significant supplier to the world because they're still cost-efficient. Still, some links will be regionalized, depending on the market and the product. This can be a good thing because it will diversify the global supply chain, making it safer. How to know if a particular link is worth shifting? Here are some factors.

First, it depends on the product. If it's complex products with plenty of parts that go back and forth between borders, keeping the supply chains closer together and closer to home will be simpler and more resilient from shocks, even though it may be a bit more costly. 

Is the country a dependable place to do business in? You can use their response to the pandemic as a guide if they are.  

People who complain "they took our jobs!" will be hit with a double whammy. The first one is that probably, even more work will be offshored, which includes some administrative functions. Why?

It is cheaper. 

The whole sudden push to remote working made managers realize that it is possible to manage people remotely and still get the job done. 

The second one is that this will likely increase the trend of automation. Businesses are weak right now, and cost savings will be a priority. Plus, robots don’t need breaks and don’t get sick.

Figure 1 [1]

One point of the possible dilemma are companies that were saved by governments using taxpayer money. This may become a thorny issue because these are companies that failed to invest enough to keep themselves safe and resilient and yet were saved anyways. It's like rewarding someone who didn't do their homework. This may disincentivize companies to spend on insurance to keep themselves safe during a downturn and instead rely on government rescue. This will set a bad precedent.

The world less connected

What does a deglobalized world look like? As an economist, my answer is that it's worse off. 

The world right now is badly hit, and because of deglobalization, recovery will be slower.

A less global society is a more expensive world, especially for richer countries that benefit from the cost savings of offshoring.

As for the poorer countries, they will find it harder to catch up economically (because less business will be made with them) and technologically (the more connected we are, the more we learn from each other.)

A geopolitically unstable world. A less connected world is a more uncooperative world. This makes big problems that require global cooperation to solve more daunting. It will also be more challenging to maintain the current liberal world order. Just read the news, and you'll see the cracks already deepening as I type this.

A more economically vulnerable world will result if global supply chains start to untangle. Aside from the rude realization that a global supply chain was apparently just a Chinese supply chain, deglobalization is not the answer. Deglobalization is literally the opposite of diversification. The solution is in fixing it, not throwing it away. The exact same thing can be said about capitalism and society in general.

References

[1] Chen, H., Frank, M. Z., & Wu, O. Q. (2007). US retail and wholesale inventory performance from 1981 to 2004. Manufacturing & Service Operations Management, 9(4), 430-456.

A note on how I reference: if you always read my blogs, you'd notice that today's reference list is… short. Let me explain myself. See, most of the time, I don't keep logs of things I read. When I write, I have to do the chore of tracking down what I read in the past. This is not very fun. I thought to myself, why am I writing a thesis right now and end up writing another mini-thesis on my downtime? So for the sake of keeping blogging relatively more fun for me, I decided to be less stringent. Besides, if you don't believe what I write, you can always Google and confirm it, which is something all of us should practice anyways. 

[cutsliceddiced]

New top story from Time: A Guide to Expert-Tested Cooking and Baking Substitutes if You Can’t Find Your Usual Ingredients Anywhere

As we enter the second month of stay-at-home orders across the U.S., the strain on the home kitchen is already clear; stores and vendors are adjusting to changing food demands and the supply chain has been impacted.

Certain ingredient shortages we encounter while managing with limited grocery shopping runs make cooking dinner — and breakfast, and lunch, and snacktime, and dessert, and midnight snack — all the more difficult.

For those battling food insecurity, school meal services and food banks are working overtime to help provide necessary meals and supplies. But for those looking at empty pantry shelves while delaying a grocery trip to stock up further on in-demand items like beans and oat milk, a few innovative swaps can mean that a missing ingredient here or there won’t throw off your meal planning. For advice, TIME turned to Alissa Wagner, chef and co-founder of the popular downtown New York City restaurant Dimes and co-author of the recently published cookbook Emotional Eating, as well as baker and Great American Baking Show winner Vallery Lomas, who’s popular on social media as the “Foodie in New York,” and pastry chef and Milk Bar founder Christina Tosi, who has been teaching fans with daily live Instagram tutorials.

Wagner called from her restaurant’s associated market, which is still serving prepared foods — and remains busy and well-stocked. “Start simply and play around with things,” Wagner says. “You really can look at cookbooks and recipes and try not to be intimidated and enjoy it.” Lomas, meanwhile, has been testing out simplified recipes from her studio apartment in Harlem that are “fuss free” and work for smaller crowds — or even portioned just for one. “Don’t let fear of failure stop you,” she said. Tosi keeps things interesting by playing music themed to match her culinary pursuits (like a “queens of pop” playlist while making popovers) — and sharing what she makes, as much as she safely can. “Kitchen time never feels like a chore when you approach it with a generosity of spirit mentality,” she says. “Now is the time to spread the love more than ever.”

Here, Wagner, Lomas and Tosi share their suggestions for what to do when you run out of some of the basics. And while this guide doesn’t cover everything you might need to make your preferred dish of the evening to the recipe’s exact specifications, it might help you come up with some creative solutions. “I like to look at my pantry with a sense of imagination,” Tosi says. “Approach every ingredient with a ‘What does this typically bring to the dish or snack I use it in?’ Write it down and come back to it when you put your apron on.”

Egg Substitutes

Lon Tweeten

Eggs are a refrigerator staple, but once you’ve worked through your regular dozen, you may find yourself uncertain of what to use as a replacement. If it’s a breakfast protein you’re in the mood for, Wagner recommends turning to tofu, which can be prepared as a scramble and lasts a long time in the fridge.

Although eggs are hard to match in taste as a standalone food — and Tosi cautions against trying to replace them in a recipe if it calls for more than a few — there are a number of workable stand-ins. If you’re baking, do as the vegans do: consider swapping in apple sauce or another fruit you can cook or puree, which provides the same binding properties in baked goods as eggs. (Mashed bananas are a common option, too, and very cost-effective if you buy bunches in bulk. They can also be frozen for later use.) Tosi says a neutral-flavored oil could also help provide structure and moisture.

Lomas and Tosi also recommend the “flax egg” — letting a tablespoon of flaxseed meal soak in a few tablespoons of water for a few minutes. The resulting jelly-like concoction will work in lieu of real eggs, and is “every vegan’s favorite trick,” Tosi says.

If you’re looking for egg whites, the water in a can of chickpeas, called aquafaba, will suffice. Meringues, mayonnaise and cocktails like a pisco sour can use aquafaba instead of real egg whites. Vegans have been using the replacement source for years.

Milk Substitutes

Lon Tweeten

When dairy supplies run low, fortunately there are plenty of milk substitutes that are more shelf-stable than perishable dairy. Wagner particularly likes coconut milk, which you can keep in your pantry and will work as a replacement for regular milk when thinned with some water. (“It’s a lot fattier than regular milk,” Wagner explained.)

“Match your milk sub with the flavor profile of what you are baking,” Tosi says. So for bundt and loaf cakes, for instance, she sometimes turns to sour cream and Greek yogurt.

If you have nuts lying around, making your own nut milk is also a possibility: Wagner recommends a three-part water to one-part nut ratio, soaked overnight and blended. A clean t-shirt will do as a strainer, she says. Wagner likes cashew milk, which has a “really nice sweetness — and it’s a little cheaper than almonds,” making it a more cost-effective option. Almonds and oats also work, and Tosi says nut milks are a good option for pancakes, crepes and bar cookies. “I’m not above melting down vanilla ice cream to sub in for milk, either,” she adds. “Embrace all the milky things,” she said. Yes, even whipped cream.

If you don’t have milk, Lomas suggests simply using water instead of milk for a substitute in baking. “And when all else fails,” Tosi notes, “don’t underestimate the power of milk powder,” which you can mix with water, too.

Cheese Substitutes

Lon Tweeten

There is an almost infinite variety of cheeses on the market. But when it comes to the cheese that we use most often, it’s generally as an additive on other dishes for that umami kick. Nutritional yeast will work as a substitute in many pasta dishes, Wagner says. Or for saltiness, you can try out capers and olives, which last in the pantry and fridge and bring in the “salty brininess” you might be missing when you run out of parmesan, notes Wagner.

For Tosi, the pantry or snack cabinet could also hold answers. “I’ll take the flavor packet from my mac and cheese to make my own Cheez-Its, or use a box of cake mix and some cream cheese for a gooey butter cake,” she says.

Butter Substitutes

Lon Tweeten

For cooking, oil — olive, canola or even grapeseed or avocado — can generally be used as a butter substitute, provided you select an oil with a flavor that complements the rest of your ingredients. “It depends on the recipe as to how well this swap will work,” Lomas says. Coconut oil, for instance, has a flavor all its own. Used in a cookie recipe, canola and vegetable oil will result in a “sandier textured cookie,” Tosi says. The conversion is also not a direct one-to-one swap between butter and oil, since butter also has milk fats that an oil may lack; you might need a few tablespoons fewer of oil than butter for a cake, for instance.

Then there’s old school shortening, which Tosi says is a “best bet” for matching butter’s flavor and structure; margarine is another option, although not as flavorful. If the butter is being used as an especially creamy component, like in a risotto, you could try a heavy cream.

Bread Substitutes

Lon Tweeten

If you’re craving homemade carbs — perhaps inspired by the proliferation of amateur baking projects you’re seeing on social media — there’s plenty to choose from. Amid flour and yeast shortages, there are still breads you can make that don’t require yeast.

Cornbread, Wagner says, should fit the bill — provided you can find cornmeal. Simpler bread recipes like focaccia are another option, as it is made without yeast. Tosi turns to her “fool-proof beer bread,” since beer already has yeast in it. (Her recipe: 1 beer, 3 cups flour, 4 teaspoons baking powder, 1 teaspoon salt, ½ cup butter melted.) She also recommends adapting bread recipes by cutting “all but one tablespoon sugar out” and throwing spices and seed in, like za’atar or curry powder, for a more aromatic loaf.

Lomas has been baking basics like wheat bread from scratch using whole wheat flour. Other alternative flours, like rice or chickpea, are common in gluten-free recipes and can be used widely. Wagner likes chickpea flour which is less “gummy” than rice flour and makes “really good savory pancakes.” Tosi suggests cake flour, which has a lower protein content. Nut flours — nuts ground up in a food processor until they are “sandy,” with a few tablespoons of cornstarch to encourage the binding — are her recommendation for cookies. Oat flour (ground up oats) also can work: 1 ⅓ cups oat flour for 1 cup all purpose flour, says Tosi. Lomas is also a proponent of oat flour, which works well in her cookies and is a decently affordable option.

Even beyond the expected flour alternatives, Tosi suggests turning to other dry ingredients that can grind down into a flour-like consistency, like popcorn and pretzels. (“Popcorn flour is fire!” she says, but keep an eye on the overall salt content if you use pretzel flour.)

Sugar Substitutes

Lon Tweeten

When running low on sugar, look to other sweeteners you have at hand: maple syrup and honey, both of which are actually lower on the glycemic index than regular processed sugar, Wagner says. Plus, both maple syrup and honey last a long time without going bad. Lomas even uses honey in her homemade whole wheat bread recipe. Agave is another natural sweetener option.

Tosi suggests thinking even further beyond the basics when it comes to bringing sweetness to a recipe. “Most things you crave late at night can work, too: marshmallows, chocolate, white chocolate chips, peanut butter, sorbet melted down, and candy.”

Brown sugars can also be whipped up at home if need be: light brown sugar can be concocted by adding a splash of maple syrup to granulated sugar, while to mix your own dark brown sugar you can add molasses. And powdered sugar, to top things off? Blend granulated sugar with a pinch of cornstarch. “In the baking world it’s called 10x, in reference to it being ground down 10 times,” Tosi says of powdered sugar’s origins.

You can also look beyond sugar for flavor in your baking. “If you like a salty-sweet combo, throw potato chips, pretzels, butterscotch chips — you name it — in your cookie dough or loaf or pancake batter,” Tosi says.

Keep up to date with our daily coronavirus newsletter by clicking here.

Meat Substitutes

Lon Tweeten

Alternatives to meat — like plant-based brands Beyond Meat or the Impossible Burger — are buzzy, but can get pricy. To fulfill the central protein portion of a meal, Wagner looks farther afield to vegetarian staples like tofu, which can be bought in bulk for a more cost-conscious solution, or chickpeas. “They’re very filling and versatile; they take to spice and herbs very well,” she says, suggesting a simple preparation with olive oil, fresh lemon juice, sea salt, chopped cilantro and red pepper flakes (or Aleppo pepper if you have it).

Or turn to canned goods. Canned fish — like sardines, anchovies and tuna — is shelf-stable and stores well, and works as a meal centerpiece. Wagner suggests a spin on the classic French Niçoise salad, featuring a canned fish and “any vegetable” you have on hand, or you can serve the fish on toast.

Greens and Vegetable Substitutes

Lon Tweeten

By the end of two weeks without restocking at a grocery, vegetables may have wilted. But Wagner reminds us that “any kind of soft herb” or the green part of a vegetable can be used as a base for a salad or a green addition to a meal, including parsley, basil, cilantro, kale or chard. “Carrot tops, beet greens, even fennel fronds — anything like that you can use, instead of throwing it out,” she says.

And don’t overlook your onions. “One thing people always have lying around that can upgrade anything are onions. You can pickle them easily and throw them into a salad; you can fry them and throw them in with beans, or sauté them into your eggs. It adds a ton of flavor in a really easy way,” she says.

Pickling is a helpful way of extending the lifespan of leftover vegetables, too. “All you really need is vinegar, salt and sugar. Everything else is a bonus,” Wagner says of the pickling process.

Please send any tips, leads, and stories to virus@time.com.

via https://cutslicedanddiced.wordpress.com/2018/01/24/how-to-prevent-food-from-going-to-waste

[drferox]

20 Questions with Dr Ferox #13: Euthanasia

There are lots of questions you Vetlings have wanted to ask about euthanasia, and a few added comments. I don’t know how long you’ve been holding onto your questions or fears but I do think it’s a good idea to talk abut this topic occasionally. In day to day life we’re fairly removed from the reality of death, but talking about it before hand often smooths the was when the time comes for our own pets. For those that have recently witnessed euthanasia for their pet, talking about it after the fact can help too.

If you don’t want to touch this topic, check that you’re blacklisting ‘pet death’ and don’t read below the cut.

Anonymous said: Do you know if it's scary for an animal when it's being euthanized?

It's unlikely that animals feel any particular fear about the euthanasia itself. The solution used for euthanasia is an anaesthetic overdose, an anaesthetic that used to be used on humans, but with a non-lethal effect. Humans describe becoming briefly light headed before falling unconscious. Our pets are likely to experience the same thing, only they don't wake up because we use a massive overdose.

The car ride might be scary. Being on the table might be scary. Touching the animal's feet often upsets them more than the euthanasia itself. It should be no more stressful than any other vet visit.

Anonymous asked: Can you describe how does an animal respond to euthanasia/what signs do you look for to see if it's working?

The euthanasia solution, which is an anaesthetic overdose, is administered intravenously. Some animals just drop dead in as little as ten seconds, the so-called 'falling off the needle'. Some animals lick their lips before they fall unconscious, and it's possible they somehow 'taste' the solution in their blood stream, but this is only for a few seconds before they become unconscious. Sometimes an animal will shiver as it falls unconscious, and occasionally we will see hackles rise or tails fluff up. Their eyes generally stay open. I can usually see them stop breathing within the first 20-30 seconds.

Sometimes they will let go of their bladder or bowel. Sometimes we will see an 'agonal gasp', which is a series of sudden, sharp, deep breaths that occur as the heart stops. If this happens the patient is definitely dead, but it startles owners.

Then I check the heart beat, because it will have stopped by now. Sometimes I check the corneal reflex, but I often don't need to do that in front of owners at that stage.

@raxacoricofabulous said: Euthanasia question: how do you handle it when something goes wrong? ( like solution going outside the vein and is painful or the animal spasms - basically what do you say when the procedure is not as peaceful as the clients expected). Thank you so much!

I pre-warn clients about the agonal gasp. Then if it happens I can simply say “That’s the gasp I warned you might happen, and is completely normal.”

I routinely test the vein before injecting, a touch of paranoia is always worthwhile, but if solution is injected outside the vein I will usually withdraw, explain the patient’s vein isn’t very good and their blood pressure is low, and that we need to swap sides/veins. If the animal is inclined to freak out anyway a happy dose of sedatives before hand is very useful.

Paranoia and double checking is highly recommended to prevent this, so it’s very rare for something like this to happen.

Anonymous said: Question about the euthanasia. My teacher said that sometimes it's possible that the animal and moan and twitch after being injected. Is that true as well, or do I have a dud of a teacher? (Well, he's getting fired after this semester so we know he's a dud....)

Some animals with a good set of lungs with moan or groan softly as part of their agonal gasp, especially if they had laryngeal paralysis of any kind. It's very awkward when this happens, but the animal is already dead and not conscious in any way. You can also get some muscle spasms, twitching or hair standing up on end, though this is usually subtle.

You should not have an animal paddling, this is a possibly conscious reaction. They should not be vocalising either, both of these symptoms suggest that at least part of the brain is still doing its thing, and the animal is actually either in stage 3 anaesthesia, the excitement phase, or something else is wrong. More green dream required.

@ mystidarkness said: For your euthanasia question list:   How do you go about euthanizing small animals such as mice/rats?   How about reptiles? And birds?

Small and exotic animals can present a challenge for euthanasia, because they are difficult to gain intravenous access to for administration of the anaesthetic overdose. Generally speaking, is an animal is so small they are too difficult to get a vein on easily, they are anaesthetised first with a gaseous anaesthetic, and then administered the euthanasia solution either into the heart, kidney, liver or peritoneum depending on the species. Some species may have an easier accessible vein once they are already under anaesthetic, particularly wildlife, so sometimes this is used. Once they're already under anaesthesia, they're not going to feel any pain from an injection outside the vein.

Reptiles can be a bit funny because of how much they can slow down their metabolism. Some clinics will elect to pith reptiles after they're anaesthetised, which destroys their brain stem, in order to be certain. They will also often not chill or freeze the reptile initially, because you can't be certain that it's definitely dead if it's cold.

Anonymous said: My question on euthanasia is based on reptiles. How do vets decide its time for something that doesn't really present emotion like big mammals, or even rodents? We didn't see much change in our beardie before she passed and I wanted to know what signs you guys look for?

It is very challenging in species with no behavioural queues, or which have queues which are difficult to interpret. We have to rely on medical indications. If it has pathology that would be known to be painful or sickening in a mammal, assume the reptile feels the same. If they are losing weight, less active, exhibiting less of their normal behaviour or stop eating, they all may be signs that euthanasia is indicated.

@fkphotos said: Euthanasia question: why do some vets not allow people to be with their animals when they're doing it, is it a personal thing or is there some logistical issue with having owners present at euthanasia? I've had two pets put down due to severe incurable illness, one hedgehog and one cat. I was with the cat when she passed, but my hedgehog vet would not let me be with my hedgehog. It's something I've never quite forgiven myself for, that I wasn't there for him.

While I have not treated or euthanised a hedgehog (Australia. Illegal), they do not strike me as having any easily accessible veins in a conscious animal, and so may need to be euthanised by gaseous anaesthetic, followed by an intra-cardiac injection. The anaesthetic gas is a bit of a health and safety risk, and watching your pet get an injection into the heart is... uh... kind of not great for most people. While I give my clients the option to stay, most leave after the pocket pet is unconscious, since that’s the part that matters anyway. It still all happens very fast, they don’t know why they get light headed and then sleepy.

Anonymous asked: Is euthanising a bird the best thing to do for it? I've seen chickens and pigeons euthanised on a number of occasions, and the bird was injected intracranially each time. I think I remember you saying that euthanasia solution was highly irritant to tissues, so would injecting the animal in this was cause unnecessary pain and suffering, or is it impractical to inject a bird intravenously?

There aren't any sensory nerves inside the brain, there's not actually the receptors there to feel anything, and barbituate straight into your brain is going to render you dead fairly rapidly.

That said, it's not my preferred method of euthanasia for birds.  I prefer to use anaesthetic gas, and then either an intravenous injection in larger birds or intra-cardiac in smaller birds once they're unconscious. I am not personally comfortable with intra-cranial anything.

@cellmemebrane asked: Sorry is this is a little morbid but do rat guillotines actually exist? I read it in the guide but im not sure if people (probably just labs) actually use that

They do exist (you can google them if you’re curious), but they are basically for laboratory medicine only, when rats and small animals need to be killed without damaging tissues. This is laboratory equipment, not part of veterinary practice and while death is rapid it’s...well... literally a guillotine.

Anonymous asked: i have a question about euthanasia. i had an old cat put down, and i've always been worried that she was in pain. They injected her in her heart because there were no usable veins. Are animals in pain when they get euthanized?

If she was fully conscious, then an injection passing through your chest wall and into your heart is expected to hurt. Not so much the euthanasia solution itself, but the needle track. If her consciousness was altered or if she was sedated or anaesthetised, she is unlikely to have felt anything.

@ destiny-n-chicken asked: First year vet student here. I recently read your post explaining euthanasia solution, how it is an extreme tissue irritant and how it hurts. I've known this but before now I've never considered it past making sure the catheter is in correctly. We were taught how to do intrahepatic and intrarenal injections of euthanasol as other options for euthanasia, and I was curious if these would hurt the animal like it hurts if you aren't in the vein while attempting to euthanize IV.

It can a little bit, but both of those organs are so vascular that induction of anaesthesia is likely to still be quite fast, and most of their sensory neurons are located in the capsule, not the parenchyma of the organ. It’s not a bad second or third choice. Diluting the euthanasia solution can reduce the potential sting.

Anonymous asked: Hi Doc, I wanted to ask--how often are at-home euthanasias performed? What are the criteria? I was thinking about it because one of my cats is always really afraid when I take her to the vet. She's young and in good health but I had a terrible vision of taking her in for euthanasia when she gets old or if she gets really sick and of her being terrified until the end.

For our clinic an at-home euthanasia has to be organized ahead of time, not last minute, not an emergency and not with a super aggressive animal. We have to make sure we have enough staff working so that there are at least two people free to go on the house call, and at least two remaining in the clinic. So for us, weekday appointments booked a few days before are what we require. We usually require pre-payment too because the absolute last thing you want to do after having your pet put to sleep at home is to call the clinic with your credit card details.

Anonymous asked: I'm not sure if this is what you're looking for in terms of the euthanasia questions, but I was just wondering if, as the vet, its ever okay to cry/be emotional while euthanising an animal? I'm a vet student in year 2 of 5 so haven't yet had any teaching on the matter but I was wondering about your opinion? I can see it depending on the client as some may see it as wholly unprofessional while others may appreciate that you feel their loss too maybe? I'm not sure!

My personal rule is to not be more emotional than the animal's own humans. It's okay to feel what you feel, but you can't let your emotions become the most important ones in the room. You, we, are here to do a job. That's taking care of the animal first, the people second, and yourself third. If you can just keep your emotions from taking over for ten minutes, you can handle them all then.

It's important to feel, you don't want to become dead to emotions. That's not good for your brain. But you do need to learn to reign them in for short periods of time. This isn't just limited to sadness, but everything else veterinary medicine makes us feel: Anxiety, anger, fear and sorrow.

Anonymous asked: How do you cope with euthanizing animals, especially when that animal was someone's pet? We recently put our dog to sleep and it was a really traumatic experience for us and I'm just wondering how you cope with seeing people mourn and how you frame euthanasia in your mind. Love the blog!

It's always sad, but I remind myself, and sometimes the people, that the reason this event is so sad is because they loved their pet so much. The sadness is only here because the life of that animal was full of love, and that's the important part. Yes, it sucks, and it's going to feel bad, but only because something wonderful was here in the first place.

Anonymous said: A shy vetling has a euthanasia question if you have time. I am a current vet student, and I handle PTS with other vets alone very well, it's easy to be calm and professional when everyone around you is. But I find PTS with the owners present very distressing. I have a pragmatic view on life, and I even fight furiously that euthanasia is a very good option in many cases. But when the owners are crying I stop seeing the patient and start feeling their loss. How did you control that as a student?

Hello Shyling. I don't recommend trying to not feel. I recommend trying to let yourself feel, but later. I find it helps to focus on the disease/pathology early on, but at this stage of my life I have a mental script I run through for euthanasia. I can basically do a euthanasia consult on auto-pilot if I need to, I can just default to my mental script.

If you're having trouble try not to look at human faces. Focus on the patient, on the illness. Especially don't look kids in the eyes if you think you're about to break, because crying children will get you every time. Remember that you only have to hold yourself together for ten minutes to get the job done, then you can go feel whatever you were going to feel without interfering with the owner's own grief.

@cscorlis said: Re euthanasia: In your experience, how often does an animal survive the first dose of drugs? When we put down my family dog years ago, she still had a heartbeat after the first dose and the vet had to go out of the room to get another vial, so I'm curious as to whether it's common for them to react differently to the stuff. (Question tax: My headcanon is that you never play healers in D&D because it's too much like your day job).

Not often with me because I am overly generous with the death juice. Sometimes the very old, very sick, very frightened or otherwise cardiovascularly compromised patients will only be anaesthtised, not euthanised, on a standard dose. Sometimes they will pass on their own after a few minutes, sometimes they need a few extra milliliters of euthanasia solution. Most animals are at least peacefully anaesthetised by this stage, and if you were willing to wait hours would probably then pass on their own, but that’s not ideal.

I try not to play healers, but when I do I twist them in some way. You can do some evil things with healing.

Euth question: I've heard that horses will fight the "green dream", and that a shotgun is quicker and less painful. I know horses aren't your area, but what are your thoughts on this?

Shotguns are fast, if the shooter has a clue what they’re doing. I do not recommend the inexperienced shoot a horse because it’s not as simple as ‘in the head’ for a clean death.

It’s not so much that horses always ‘fight’ the green dream (euthanasia solution), it’s just that they’re so big, and dangerous when they fall or trip out, that’s it’s physically difficult to give them the solution rapidly enough to make them just drop and not paddle those dangerous legs of theirs. You are basically racing to pump the drug in before the horse gets high. This is easier in older or sicker horses, but is still not as controlled as a smaller animal.

Anonymous asked: Euthanasia Q: Why do some animals have body movements (wheezing, limb twitching, urination/defecation, etc.) after death, but others don't? I think I vaguely know why it happens when it does happen, but wondering why some cases don't experience this at all.

The answer depends on the body activity. All animals let go of their bladder and bowels when they die, it’s just that many of them are already ‘empty’ when they do so, so there’s nothing to come out. Most animals twitch or shiver a little bit, but it’s subtle and easy to overlook.

Whether you get agonal gasping or larger twitched basically depends on  how rapidly the euthanasia solution went in and reached the brain. Animals with weak hearts, who have been very sick, or who are in a panic often redistribute a smaller percentage of the solution directly to their brain, and are more likely to show these movements. They’re not conscious movements though, they’re only reflexes. Obese animals often require a higher dose to get the same effect too, because the euthanasia solution likes to dissolve in fat.

Anonymous asked: I have...a question...i keep rats and plan to keep them for a long period of time, so i will likely see many deaths. I have come to peace with this bc i know im giving them the best life. My issue is what to do with the body. It feels wrong to just throw them away, and i dont really want to donate them to universities bc i dont think that would give me enough closure. But im in college and will likely move around so i have no yard for burials. Can you think of any other options? Have a great day

If you don’t want to bury them at home, a vet clinic can arrange burial with whatever company they use, or private cremation if you want to keep the tiny little ashes of your rats with you. Many companies here have little miniature urns, hearts and lockets for pocket pets for this purpose.

Anonymous asked: If the owner doesn't want the body or there is no owner, what happens to the animal after euthanasia?

This will depend on the crematorium company the clinic uses. If there’s no owner we usually wait a few weeks, just in case someone comes forward, and if the animal was microchipped every effort is made to contact the owners. Failing that, bodies are either sent for communal burial (unmarked graves) or group cremation and scattering.

[anneedmonds]

3 Useful Things To Know If You Have Very Slow Internet…

Hurrah! I finally have internet speeds that are faster than the ones that we had back in 1999! And all it took was Mr AMR hanging precariously out of the top window, holding a 4G router above his head like a possessed telecommunications engineer. It’s the same router I’ve had for a while, but we had never tried positioning it 80cm outside the house before – more fool us!

Only others with painfully slow internet will share my joy in finally finding a workable solution to the problem – if you have internet, and it’s fast enough to do basic things such as watch a film on Netflix, then my revelation (indeed this entire post) will hold no interest for you. Move on, smugly, knowing that the next page you click to will take approximately 2.1 seconds to load and not fifteen minutes.

A bit of background, for those who are still with me: I live in a rural hamlet and we don’t have high-speed broadband. Our download speed with BT is around 5MB, upload speed is about 0.8. Netflix can be slow to respond, large files are impossible to upload and, if we have an important email to send with attachments, we find that it’s easier to dictate it to an aged monk and then summon a messenger on horseback to deliver the manuscript directly into the hands of the recipient. Godspeed, Cedric, Godspeed.

When we bought the house, we knew that the internet speeds were dire but the owners had installed satellite internet. Which seemed like a good fix. It really wasn’t – it was temperamental, didn’t like cloudy days and was very expensive to run. I think we kept it for a couple of months before realising that it was a complete waste of money and barely any faster than the bog-standard BT line. This might not be the case for everyone – it can very much depend on geographical position, whether or not you’re in a valley, for example – but the overall feeling about satellite internet, when you read online, seems to be that people aren’t overwhelmed with enthusiasm for it.

So what was my next line of attack? Well, I’ll admit that I was a bit stuck. The residents of my hamlet had been promised Truespeed, which is one of the providers trying to bring FTTP (fibre to the premises) to people in areas without any high speed broadband. They quite literally build the network, from scratch, and connect each home to a network that’s often higher than you’ll even find in the cities.

I have a love-hate relationship with companies such as Gigaclear and Truespeed and also quite a lengthy relationship. The village I lived in just outside of London didn’t have fibre (more forgivable in 2014, I suppose) and one day a meeting was held in the village hall about a high speed network that would be put together by someone called Gigaclear. So we all duly signed up and those of us who were desperate for it (freelancers, mainly, and people running businesses from home) even took it upon ourselves to go out personally and get new sign-ups. Everyone had to give their bank details, sign the forms – we were at 99% they told us! Only less than one household to go! – and it looked like a done deal. But nothing materialised. Even by the time we moved, in 2017, there was no Gigaclear. And I’ve just checked online now, in 2020: still no Gigaclear.

It’s the same with Truespeed. Promised it way before we bought our house in Somerset and for almost two years we’ve been receiving updates but there’s always one more barrier, one more problem that needs to be overcome.

So I had to put aside my hopes of getting Truespeed for now (fibre speeds of up to 200MB!) and seek other remedies. Thankfully, the best one – and I shall be eternally grateful – came from one of my neighbours, Adam, who had beaten us to Somerset by around four months and had therefore exhausted most internet-improving avenues. Now I must be clear, before you get overexcited: this method of gaining miraculously high speeds does depend on your 4G reception. I’ll admit that many rural places have crap internet and barely any 4G coverage, but for those luckily enough to have good phone signal, you’re in for a treat.

4G coverage is ever-improving, so it’s worth checking coverage maps for all providers, not just the one you happen to have stuck with for the past fifteen years. See who comes up trumps on the coverage maps and then get hold of a pay as you go SIM card for that company and test out the 4G reception in all areas of your house.

The areas of the house thing is incredibly important, by the way; in my office, my 4G router gives me download speeds of 6.8MB and upload speeds of 0.98. If I shunt the router forwards into a front bedroom and balance it on the windowsill (or, even, out of the window on the end of Mr AMR’s arm) then I get a ridiculously speedy (for here) 12MB download speed and 26MB upload. (I have no idea why the upload speed is faster, I suspect it’s not a good sign but quite honestly I can’t be bothered to rock the boat when I finally have a workable connection!)

But I’ve gone too far ahead and missed out important information here: neighbour Adam had been experimenting with various internet things and had settled on the very satisfactory method of using a 4G data-only SIM with a router he had bought on Amazon. He was getting fast, reliable internet and paying around £25 per month.

I immediately ordered the router (this one here* (AD/affiliate link) in case you’re interested) and went for the same data SIM he was using (Vodafone, 50GB limit) and the next day slotted everything together and crossed my fingers. I couldn’t believe my eyes when the speedtest came back with 25MB download and 8MB up. Hurrah! All of my work (and Netflix) problems had been solved!

Huawai Router* + Data Only SIM + Reasonable 4G Coverage = Rural High Speed Internet

There was one more twist in the tale, though. Left to its own devices, my Macbook Pro was a champion devourer of data. It chomped its way through data like one of those people who eat hot dogs to break world records; the remaining gigabytes dissolved in front of my very eyes as my iCloud synced the ten thousand daily photos that I took on my phone and my iPhoto uploaded all of my DSLR photos to the iCloud and my iTunes did things that only iTunes really understands, because who can actually access any of their music anyway? It’s all locked up in some virtual shipping container somewhere and you can only play it if you ask really, really nicely, even though you spent forty-nine days importing all of your CDs into your iMac in 2004. (What a bloody waste of time! I swear, the number of weeks I’ve spent copying records onto tape cassettes, tapes onto CD, converting CDs to MP3s. Oh! And the brief yet painful era of the mini disk. Remember those? You couldn’t even buy music on a mini disk, so you had to make the world’s most labour-intensive mix tapes and the whole set-up only lasted for about a year anyway! Which meant that my in-car mini disk player and my mini disk walkman were both an epic waste of hard-earned cash…)

To cut a long story short, my 50GB data was lasting for around two days if I left my MacBook running. So I had to turn off iCloud, which meant I couldn’t sync my photos and I couldn’t see my emails either because they were burning up data like psychopathic data fire-starters. Unlimited data SIMs weren’t yet a thing, so I had to try and find another way to limit my usage. Firstly I bought two SIMs so that I would never run out – I just swapped them over when one ran out for the month. But then I looked into how to manage my usage and found a very handy app called TripMode. I can’t really rave about this app enough; it’s inexpensive, it works, it will probably save you tens of pounds each month, especially if you work from home.

TripMode automatically limits your data usage by blocking things on your computer (or phone) that are data hogs. So iCloud, for example, and Mail, and even iPhoto if you tend to take a lot of video footage and photos with large file sizes. You can preset which apps to block and toggle TripMode on and off so that if you do need to quickly email or sync something it’s easy to do. It also monitors usage and can set data caps – all for about six quid. (At last glance.) Find that here, it’s an absolute must if you don’t have unlimited data.

Luckily, more and more data providers are now doing unlimited data SIMs that you can slip, with an almost sexual level of pleasure, into your router slot. Oh, the thrill of knowing that you’ll be able to load a page on ASOS without getting the spinning wheel of doom! Oh, the sparks of passion that will fly as your fingers caress the keyboard and open New Tab, New Tab, New Tab, as you frantically absorb all of that internet information and even play a Youtube video in the background! Stick a fork in me, unlimited data SIM, I’m done.

Virgin do an unlimited data SIM for those who are already customers, SMARTY have one that’s very cheap and doesn’t have a contract (I found this the slowest for speeds in my area so cancelled), 3 have one, Vodafone have an unlimited SIM but they say it’s just for phones. I have yet to test this. For many, 3 will be the best bet – they have exemplary coverage when you look at their maps. I think that 3 own SMARTY, but I found speeds higher with 3. Go figure.

I hope, sincerely, that at least a few of you that have been struggling with rural – or just plain bad – internet will find this useful. Some will be eye-rolling and saying “duh, like I hadn’t thought of that!” but at least a dozen people in my immediate geographical vicinity hadn’t known about the router + 4G sim option, so I’m going out on a limb and putting it out there.

And at the risk of being even more obvious, I’m going to precis my rural internet findings below, with the Three Useful Things You Should Know If You Have Very Slow Internet. You’re welcome.

1 You can easily find out whether you’re in an area that’s being considered by providers such as Truespeed and Gigaclear. Just type your postcode into their websites (linked above) and it’ll tell you whether there’s a build in progress or any interest at all in your area. You can also (actually is maybe a better first call) check on Open Reach to see whether fibre is coming to your area, or whether your cabinet (not like a kitchen cabinet, it’s bigger and further away) is due to be upgraded. Check that info here.

If your community isn’t eligible for any sort of network building scheme then you could also look into Community Fibre Partnerships, which is when you all get together and basically foot the bill. I’ll side-step the politics on that one, because it seems slightly ridiculous that a community should be having to raise massive funds for something that others get for free… Trying to be all zen at the moment.

2 If you can get 4G signal then you are massively in luck, because you can try the Router + 4G SIM method that works so well for me. You can find 4G coverage maps for most providers here. If you have a reasonably strong 4G signal with one of them then you can buy a 4G router here (that’s the one I have) and data SIM cards from most mobile phone providers. If you want unlimited data (why wouldn’t you?) then try Three (here) and EE have literally just launched theirs onto the market, the deal is £34 per month here. (Please do your own checks as to suitability for your router and so on!)

3 If you don’t get any 4G reception then all is not lost. Though it may be a matter of doing some heavy research and/or digging a little deeper in terms of costs. If you want to try satellite, because you’re desperate (I found it twitchy) then try a larger provider such as Avonline. I also found this website incredibly interesting: ruralinternet.co.uk. You can also contact Open Reach and see how much it would cost for fibre to your premises privately – ie, the road gets dug up just for you, the price depends on how far you are from the nearest cabinet. I don’t need to tell you, I’m sure, that it’s probably going to be really, really expensive. There’s a rudimentary price list here if you can get your head around it…

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[koreanpike3-blog]

Real Women Approved: 30 Tried and Tested Fall Recipes You’ll Love

Velvet leggings: Spanx–one of my favorite pairs of pants in the winter! I never take them off! They run true to size–such a fun alternative to regular leggings, and so warm! Turtleneck: J.Crew’s tissue turtleneck…duh..when am I not wearing one? I own one in every color (and pattern!) They run true to size! (I always get asked what size I wear–the one I’m wearing here is size small, but I also have them in XS…it just depends on how you want them to fit!) Cardigan: this one is old from last year, but similar here, here and here! 

What are you cooking this fall?

Happy Friday, guys!

I can’t believe it’s already been a YEAR since I originally published this post! With so many amazing recipes, I decided I had to refresh it for 2018 again! So–that means, even MORE recipes to make this year!

I asked for your submissions on Instagram and got sooo many incredible recommendations! I tried my best to include as many as I could! This post (originally published last fall) was actually my second installment of my “Real Women Approved” series (where I round up YOUR recommendations on varying topics) and it was really fun to see how many more posts we’ve published since then! (Find them all right here!) These are some of my favorite posts to create because I think the best ideas come from you guys, and I have so much fun collaborating all together!

A change in seasons always re-ignites my excitement to get back into the kitchen (I’m always partial to warm winter recipes! I think everything tastes better roasted, braised, or cooked in a dutch oven!) I’m always on the hunt for new recipe ideas (aren’t we all?) so I figured this would be an awesome topic for my next reader favorites roundup!

I might be a little biased, but I think you guys have the best recommendations around! 😉(Like your book recco’s for example? LIGHTS OUT! Or your most praised all-purpose totes for work and travel? AMAZING.)

Personally, one of my favorite things to make in the fall and winter is lentil soup–it’s so simple, rustic, and delicious.

The best part about lentil soup is that you can really go any way you’d like with it–I always start with this classic base recipe and then riff off of it based on what I’m feelin’ that day. (I love to finish it with a squeeze of lemon and freshly grated parmesan cheese!) Lentils are so good for you, so I love this soup when I want a detox but want something heartier than a salad. Despite the fact that it doesn’t have meat in it, it’s one of Neal’s favorite soups! (Sometimes I add kale as well!)

If you’re feeling a little indulgent, add bacon when you’re sautéing the veggies, and a bit of wine while the soup is cooking. You could also give it an Eastern twist adding spices like tumeric or curry powder, and a splash of coconut milk. It’s so easy to make your own and is perfect for a cozy night in!

Now, even more fun–below are LOT’s more fall recipes recommended by my favorite gals–you guys! Get ready for pumpkin and butternut EVERYTHANG. (And make sure to follow along on Insta stories so you can weigh in on our next reader roundup topic! I always love to hear all your opinions!)

Fall Recipes

TJ’s Cauliflower Gnocchi Hack:

Melissa says, “I’m obsessed with this TJ’s Cauliflower gnocchi hack from Kai and the Kitchen! It’s a bag of frozen gnocchi, rotisserie chicken, mushrooms (I buy them pre-sliced, obvi), butter and sage. Best weeknight hack that is good enough for the weekend!” 

Fall Chicken Skillet

Jean says, “You have to try the Fall Chicken skillet from Well Plated! SO good with apples, sweet potatoes, Brussels sprouts yummm!” 

Veggie Fall Casserole

Reader Molly loves this broccoli cauliflower brown rice casserole for fall! She says,“it’s great for when you need to use up extra veggies or want something meatless!

“Pumpkin Stuffed with Everything Good!”

Suddin says, “We make ‘pumpkin stuffed with everything good‘ every fall. It’s bread, cheeses, herbs, etc stuffed into a pumpkin and baked. I look forward to it every year. I usually grab a small pumpkin from Trader Joe’s and it’s the perfect size for two!” 

Roasted Tomato Soup with Everything Grilled Cheese

Tina, who also has a great food blog, Shredded Sprout–says soup is her fall go-to, especially roasted tomato soup with everything grilled cheese. YUM!

Oven Roasted Chicken Shawarma

R says, “Just made this oven roasted chicken shawarma last night and it was super simple, but so easy and so tasty! The notes at the bottom give good tips on what to include so I added bell pepper along with the chicken as well as homemade pita and rice pilaf! 

Autumn Glow Salad

Kimberlyn says, “This is a delish salad perfect for fall. It has sweet potatoes and apples (AKA the Fall faves!) and keeps well for 3-4 days in the fridge so it’s perfect for meal prep. I usually make one big batch on Sunday and eat all week!”

Chipotle Pumpkin Soup with Chorizo

Laura is hooked on Halfbaked Harvest’s has chipotle pumpkin soup with chorizo! She says, “It has all the warming fall flavors you need and you can use soy-rizo/cut back on the cheese to make it healthier! I am obsessed with it 🔥”

30 Minute Thai Peanut Chicken Ramen

Carly says, “I made 30 Minute Thai Peanut Chicken from @halfbakedharvest via Cooking w/ Liz (@lizadams) last week and it was delicious! Plus, it was also quick, easy, and such a cozy meal.” Side note, if you don’t follow Liz, you definitely need to! I know you will love her–she does an Instagram live series called “Cooking with Liz” and it’s always so much fun!

Creamy Squash Rigatoni

Hannah says, “This pasta recipe has been my go-to fall recipe for YEARS! It’s basically like an inside out butternut squash ravioli! I’ve started using canned pumpkin (not the pie filling–the plain, unsweetened kind) instead of roasting the squash when I don’t have time!” 

Chicken Chorizo Chili

Karen describes this yummy Chili as “Spicy, easy, and a different take on chili. Such a cozy dish for a cold weeknight. And anything topped with cheese and sour cream is a MAJ victory IMO.” 

Salted Caramel Apple Pie

Cat says, “Okay, so this recipe takes some work, but I kid you not, everyone in my family is now OBSESSED with this pie an dI HAVE to make it every Thanksgiving! All of Sally’s recipes are so great because they give you small tips that you wouldn’t otherwise realize so just be sure to read the entire thing before baking!” 

Spiced Pork Tenderloin

Kathleen says, “For the past couple years when the weather gets juuust crips enough, my husband and I have a lightbulb moment: ‘IS IT SPICED PORK TIME?!’ We use this recipe just as a guide and basically dump tons of the spices onto the tenderloins for maximum fall flavor. It’s very quick easy, and low cal for a busy weekenight, and it’s absolutely delicious!” 

The Best Creamy Chicken Soup:

Helen says, “For this recipe, I use leftover rotisserie chicken and substitute half and half for heavy cream but it smells amazing (thank you, celery!) and it freezes wonderfully so you can eat it later in the season. My boyfriend and I love to eat it with crusty bread or homemade grilled cheese!” 

Panko Crusted Chicken Thighs:

Emma says,  “Right now, my favorite is this Bon Appetit Panko Crusted Chicken with carrots. It’s UNREAL. So fast, so easy, so cozy on a cold night. It’s comfort food for me, plain and simple. And pretty inexpensive. Usually I use chicken breast instead since that’s my go-to. Whatever floats your boat!” 

One Pan Autumn Chicken Dinner

Bethany says, “I love the One Pan Autumn Chicken Dinner by @cookingclassy ! It’s easy, makes the whole house smell amazing, and goes perfectly with a glass of 🍷!” 

Instant Pot Short Ribs

Clementine loves Tyler Florence’s ultimate short ribs with parsnip purée. “Omg so good “ she says, and shared her time-saving hack: “I did it in the InstantPot in under an hour last week if you aren’t into using a Dutch oven!” 

Thai Butternut Soup

Charmain says, “this is my favorite go-to recipe for those comfort food days and it’s really so simple to make. Everyone I’ve made it for always raves about how tasty it is and then is shocked at just swapping out milk for coconu tmilk and adding a few unexpected spices turns ordinary butternut soup into something amazing!” You can see the recipe posted on her instagram right here! (Plus, her feed is so pretty, too!)

Crock Pot Zucchini Lasagna

Do you follow my friend Lauren from Lakeshore Lady? She shares TONS of amazing recipes–but her crock pot zucchini lasagna is one of her go’to’s for Fall! “Super cozy, and once everything goes into the crock pot, you can forget about it until it’s time to eat! Stress free!”

Quick Apple Turnovers

Whitney says, “These apple turnovers are SO simple and made with ingredients that most people have on hand during the holidays. They taste best when hot from the oven and served with vanilla ice cream!” 

Winter Vegetable Chowder

Katie loves Rachael Ray’s Winter Veggie Chowder–she says, “I made it in a Crock-Pot on high for four hours. It’s easy but there’s a lot of chopping–just throw veggies in the crock and heavily salt. HEAVILY. )You think it’s too much but it’s not–because it will draw the liquid from the veggies, which is where your borth comes from!) I just let the veggies sweat it out in there, and then add the remaining ingredients!” 

Skinnytaste Pumpkin Chili

Lee recommends this pumpkin veggie chili from Skinnytaste–“My husband who is a total meat-a-tarian (you know what I mean?) even says this is his favorite chili. Seasonal, delicious, lower guilt, even more delicious as leftovers with some shredded cheese and tortilla chips.”

Pumpkin Spice Latte Protein Smoothie

Do you guys follow Morgan on Instagram? She’s a Chicago fitness and health blogger and she’s my go-to for EVERYTHING healthy and workout related! I might be her most annoying follower with how many questions I ask her on a weekly basis. Example: she actually didn’t SUBMIT this Pumpkin Spice Latte Protein Smoothie recipe for this post roundup, I saw her post it on Instastories and pestered her for the link so I could include it 😂 I’m really lazy so let’s be honest I probably won’t ever have Medjooll dates or multiple kinds of nut butter on-hand so my version will likely never be quite as healthy or as delicious as Morgan’s, but hey, include what you have and I’m pretty sure it will be fantastic.

Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Muffins

Haley says, “I LOVE pumpkin muffins, we use the yellow Trader Joe’s pumpkin dry mix and add in chocolate chips. Voila! Muffins!” 

Winter Corn and Squash Veggie Chili

“This is my favorite plant based chili,” Allison says! “It’s healthy (from my favorite magazine, Cooking Light) easy (either slow cooker or on the stove), flexible (you can throw in whatever you have around.) I always add in some cinnamon, because I don’t think you can have chili without it! It’s also freezable (because making soup for one person is difficult!) I swear by the recipe and make it several times each fall. It pairs amazingly with homemade corn bread!” 

Roasted Brussels Sprouts with Cinnamon, Butternut Squash, Cranberries and Pecans

Jessie calls this roasted brussels sprouts recipe “the most delicious fall dish EVER!” If you’re in charge of bringing a side dish for Thanksgiving, I think this one would be such a great one to try out! Different than every other Brussels sprout recipe I’ve ever seen, but still with traditional fall flavors. Yum!

“Too easy” Pumpkin Waffles

Nina shared the most genius hack EVER. “My newest fall thing is pumpkin waffles. I make them the easy way. I follow the directions on a regular box of waffle mix and then add in pumpkin puree! It’s so easy it feels like cheating!” HAHA I like Nina’s style!!

Spiced Pumpkin Coffee Cake

Lindsey raves about this recipe for pumpkin spiced coffee cake (UM. YUMMM?) because it’s 1. Idiot Proof. and 2. Uses a boxed cake mix, but tastes completely homemade! Sign me up!

She says “I took it to a weekly group meeting and received so many compliments! Also, I live on a TINY island in Washington state and none of our grocery stores had the pumpkin spice pudding mix, so I used regular vanilla pudding and added a tablespoon of pumpkin pie spice! Delish!” 

Butternut Squash and Bacon Soup

Carley says, “this soup is so flavorful and delicious! It’s my husband’s favorite dish and I took it to Thanksgiving last year and it was a hit! If you enjoy this, her blog has a ton of great recipes as well!” (Jess’ note: I agree–Damn Delicious is one of my favorite food blogs!)

Pumpkin Alfredo

Rachel recommends Pinch of Yum’s Pumpkin Alfredo! “It’s definitely indulgent (not healthy at all) but it is so so yummy. It’s rich with lot’s of flavor. Also, surprisingly, it only has 5 ingredients and is ready in 20 minutes! It’s the perfect weeknight meal when you’re craving pasta!)” 

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies

Laura’s go-to recipe for fall is this one for pumpkin chocolate chip cookies! “They are super easy and always fly off the plate,” she says. “My friends and family love them!” 

Pumpkin Maple Pecan Granola

Kaylee says “this pumpkin maple pecan granola tastes like fall and is super easy to make! I love eating it on Greek yogurt with a little bit of honey or even just a snack on its own! It’s delightful!” 

  Bon Appetit! What have you been cooking lately? I would love to hear your reccos! Tell me about your favorite Fall recipes below (links are even better!)

Shop my outfit: 

Source: https://thegoldengirlblog.com/what-are-you-cooking-this-fall-13-reader-approved-fall-recipes-to-try-this-season/

[artsoccupychi]

Green Smoothies for Diabetes: Mistakes, Tips, and Recipes

The latest statistics on diabetes1, 2 from the American Diabetes Association are startling:

1 out of every 4 health care dollars is spent on people with diabetes.

Diabetes is the most costly chronic illness, at a cost of $327 billion in 2017 alone, up 26% from 2012.

1.5 million Americans are newly diagnosed with diabetes every year, with nearly 10% of the population suffering from this condition.

25% of adults over 65 have diagnosed or undiagnosed diabetes

Diabetes is the 7th leading cause of death in the U.S.

The most disheartening thing of all about diabetes is that most of these cases can be prevented with simple lifestyle changes to whole foods, shifting away from the processed, sugary foods in the Standard American Diet — but too many people believe these changes are too difficult to make.

They may be addicted to the sugars and additives in the foods themselves, or dependent on the ease of prepackaged or drive-through convenience. Or they may think a high-protein diet is the answer, which has been proven false. Or that all carbs and sugars are the same, which is also not true.

Sugary treats and snacks might seem hard to cut down on, but green smoothies are a solid alternative.

One of the easiest ways to make the transition to whole foods is with green smoothies. They are simple to make, convenient to take on-the-go, and flood the body with disease-preventative fiber and nutrition.

In this article:

Mistakes People Make with Smoothies for Diabetes

What Nutrients Will Help Diabetes?

3 Smoothie Recipes for Diabetes

In my 450-city lecture tour over 6 years, one of the most-reported benefits attendees would tell me was that replacing one meal each day with a green smoothie, and making a shift to a whole-foods, mostly plant-based diet reversed or even eliminated their need for diabetes meds, often within one month.

Interestingly, this diet is fairly high in carbohydrates (sugars and starches), but the fact that the sugars are in their whole-food form, including many nutrients, and lots of fiber, make them unlikely to be any kind of contributing force in the slow progression towards a diabetic condition.

Ready to give smoothies for diabetes a try? Here’s what you need to know:

Mistakes People Make With Smoothies for Diabetes

When people are new to smoothies, they tend to think about a “yogurt-plus-fruit” concoction. A green smoothie to avoid diabetes or improve blood sugar levels for someone already diagnosed will look very different! My own green smoothies have minimal fruit, low-sugar fruits, and no dairy products at all, including yogurt.

Here are some common mistakes people make when turning to smoothies to treat diabetes:

Too Much Fruit

Many people start off their foray into smoothies by going with fruit… and only fruit. While the advantage of smoothies is that you’ll also get the fiber from the whole fruit to slow down the natural sugars’ effect on your blood sugar, you’re better off keeping fruit to a minimum, or even eliminating fruit in your smoothies at first if you’re a full-blown diabetic. Maximize your greens instead.

Fruit is a delicious part of any smoothie, but they’re best used in balance with greens and veggies.

Adding Sweeteners

Without much fruit, you may be wanting a bit of  sweetness, but those with diabetes need to be mindful of any sources of sugar, even natural (healthier, more nutritious) ones like honey, maple syrup, and raw, organic agave.

Artificial sweeteners are far worse, though, because they are neurotoxins and also alter the gut bacteria, among other unacceptable side effects. Avoid these chemical sweeteners like Splenda, Truvia, and Nutrasweet (aspartame) completely!

I also don’t recommend the sugar alcohols like erithritol, sorbitol, and xylitol.

Instead, try a few drops of liquid stevia or monkfruit, which are natural sweeteners that won’t affect your blood sugar. These are still concentrated sweeteners, however, so start with just a drop or two and adjust.

One tip I like is for sweetness is to add in a high-quality protein powder that is sweetened with stevia or monkfruit–it has the added benefits of slowing down the sugar absorption and of helping you feel fuller longer.

[Related article: The Good, Bad, and Ugly of Sugar Alternatives]

Not Including Fat or Fiber

If you’re making a smoothie for diabetes correctly, the fruits and vegetables you use will have plenty of fiber that will help slow down the release of glucose into the bloodstream.

Fat is another way to help slow down that process, and it’s an important component of making a smoothie into a meal that lasts till your next scheduled meal. You can incorporate good fats in the form of nuts and seeds, nut and seed butters and oils, coconut and avocado (or their oils, though the whole food is always best), etc.

Not Checking Blood Sugar

After checking with your health care professional to determine your proper blood sugar levels, it’s important to keep an eye on your levels before and after your smoothie. This monitoring will help you be more aware of how certain ingredients affect your glucose levels, and you can adjust the recipe accordingly.

What Nutrients Will Help Diabetes?

Make sure to include foods with these nutrients in your smoothie:

Chromium

This micromineral is a critical part of glucose tolerance. Without enough chromium, glucose can’t get into your cells to be used or stored properly, and a deficiency can lead to both hypoglycemia and diabetes. Some smoothie-ready ingredients that contain chromium include romaine lettuce, apples, grapes, basil, oranges, and bananas.

Sulfur

Sulfur is an important nutrient for insulin synthesis, or how insulin is generated in the body. A sulfur deficiency can contribute to diabetic symptoms, but proper levels can be restored by supplementing your diet with foods like kale, cabbage, avocado, bok choy, sweet potatoes, peaches, apricots, watermelon, and many nuts.

Vanadium

Vanadium is another micromineral important for combating diabetes, which is why it’s key that we get a variety of mineral-rich fruits, vegetables, legumes, and more whole foods in our diets. Vanadium is a significant factor in blood sugar control, and can be found in oats, parsley, spinach, and more. Fulvic acid is also a great source of microminerals.

Probiotics

Diabetes has been associated with poor gut flora³, so to help balance the good bacteria in the gut, incorporate fermented foods that are rich in probiotics.

Rejuvelac is a great fermented base for a green smoothie, but I usually ferment coconut water because it’s so easy and I can do it overnight to be ready for my morning smoothie. All you have to do is put water kefir grains in coconut water, and let it ferment in a jar overnight. I drain the liquid off into my smoothie in the morning, and add more room-temperature coconut water to the jar, for tomorrow.

Other fermented foods that are good in smoothies include unsweetened yogurt, kefir, and homemade kombucha. (Dairy products are mucous forming and not helpful for diabetics, so you can make yogurt from nut or seed mylks as well.)

Fermented foods provide beneficial probiotics and are a great addition to any diet.

Be careful blending kombucha––depending on how fizzy yours is, it may bubble up a little too high! Start on a low speed in the blender then increase the speed slowly. Note: kombucha is my least-favorite fermented food, nutritionally, because of its high sugar content.

3 Smoothie Recipes for Diabetes

These smoothies contain all right ratio and quality of protein, fat, and fiber needed to maintain stable blood sugar and serve as a proper meal replacement. (Though individual needs vary, so please measure your blood glucose to test whether these recipes work for you, and modify as needed.)

The recipes make several servings, so make sure to have mason jars or other containers available to portion out each serving for later (or serve to a crowd!).

Jade Green Smoothie

1 apple

1 celery stalk

10-12 pieces of parsley

1 big handful spinach

1 large carrot

1 thumb ginger root

⅓ cucumber

1 avocado

1 cup water (or fermented coconut water)

Blend all ingredients in a high-speed blender til smooth.

The Umbrella

1 carrot

1 celery stalk

1 banana

1 roma tomato

1 granny smith apple

3 handfuls spinach

1 cup water

1 cup ice cubes

½ cup berries (your favorite kind)

Blend all ingredients in a high-speed blender til smooth.

Green Oats Smoothie

½ cup rolled oats, soaked overnight

½ avocado

1 handful mixed greens

1 cup almond milk

1 tbsp flaxseed oil or sprouted flaxseed

1 tsp vanilla extract

Water, as needed

Blend all ingredients in a high speed blender til smooth.

I’m also partial to the green smoothie recipe I almost always use, because it is infinitely versatile and easy to adjust the greens up and fruits down as needed. You can print out this free template that will give you good suggestions for switching out and combining ingredients in my basic green smoothie recipe.

Read next: Need a Healthy Treat? 6 Easy Swaps for Your Favorite Recipes

  Robyn Openshaw, MSW, is the bestselling author of The Green Smoothies Diet, 12 Steps to Whole Foods, and 2017’s #1 Amazon Bestseller and USA Today Bestseller, Vibe. Learn more about how to make the journey painless, from the nutrient-scarce Standard American Diet, to a whole-foods diet, in her free video masterclass 12 Steps to Whole Foods.

Sources

“American Diabetes Association® Releases ‘Economic Costs of Diabetes in the U.S.’ Report at Annual Call to Congress Event Urging Legislators to Make Diabetes a National Priority.” American Diabetes Association. March 22, 2018.

“Statistics About Diabetes.” American Diabetes Association. March 22, 2018.

Vrieze, Anne, et al. “Transfer of Intestinal Microbiota From Lean Donors Increases Insulin Sensitivity in Individuals With Metabolic Syndrome.” Gastroenterology. Volume 143, Issue 4, October 2012, Pages 913-916.e7

Disclaimer: This article may contain affiliate links, which allow you to support our mission without costing you extra.

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Hands on with the Echo Dots Kids Edition

New Post has been published on https://latestnews2018.com/hands-on-with-the-echo-dots-kids-edition/

Hands on with the Echo Dots Kids Edition

Earlier this year, Amazon introduced an Echo Dot for kids, with its $80 Echo Dot Kids Edition device, which comes in your choice of a red, blue, or green protective case. The idea is to market a version of Amazon’s existing Dot hardware to families by bundling it with an existing subscription service, and by throwing in a few extra features – like having Alexa encourage kids to say “please” when making their demands, for example.

The device makes sense in a couple of scenarios – for helicopter parents who want to fully lock down an Echo device before putting it in a kid’s room, and for those who were in the market for a FreeTime Unlimited subscription anyway.

I’ve been testing out an Echo Dot Kids Edition, and ran into some challenges which I thought I’d share. This is not a hardware review – I’m sure you can find those elsewhere. 

Music Filtering

As a parent of an 8-year old myself, I’ve realized it’s too difficult to keep her from ever hearing bad words – especially in music, TV and movies – so I’ve just explained to her that while she will sometimes hear those words, that doesn’t mean it’s okay to say them. (We have a similar rule about art – sometimes people will be nude in paintings, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to walk around naked all the time.)

Surprisingly, I’ve been able to establish a level of shame around adult and inappropriate content to the point that she will confess to me when she hears it on places like YouTube. She will even turn it off without my instruction! I have a good kid, I guess.

But I understand some parents will only want kids to access the sanitized version of songs – especially if their children are still in the preschool years, or have a tendency to seek out explicit content because they’re little monsters.

Amazon FreeTime would be a good option in that case, but there are some caveats.

For starters, if you plan on using the explicit language filter on songs the Echo Dot plays, then you’re stuck with Amazon Music. While the Echo Dot itself can play music from a variety of services, including on-demand offerings from Pandora and Spotify, you can’t use these services when the explicit filter is enabled as “music services that do not support this filter will be blocked,” Amazon explains.

We’re a Spotify household, so that means my child’s favorite bedtime music playlist became unavailable when we swapped out her existing Echo Dot for the Kids Edition which had the explicit filter enabled.

Above: Parent Dashboard? Where? Maybe a link would help?

You can disable the explicit filter from the Parent Dashboard, but this option is inconveniently available just via the web. When you dig around in the Alexa app – which is where you’d think these controls would be found, there’s only a FreeTime On/Off toggle switch and instructions to “Go to the Parent Dashboard to see activity, manage time limits, and add content.”

It’s not even hyperlinked!

You have to just know the dashboard’s URL is parents.amazon.com. (And not www.parents.amazon.com, by the way. That doesn’t work.)

Then to actually disable the filter, it’s several more steps.

You’ll click the gear icon next to the child’s name, click on “Echo Dot Kids Edition” under “Alexa Settings,” then click “Manage Music.” Here, you can turn the switch on or off.

If you don’t have a subscription music service, the Echo Dot Kids Edition also ships with access to ad-free kid-safe stations on iHeartRadio Family.

Whitelisting Alexa skills…well, some skills!

Another issue with the way FreeTime works with Alexa, is that it’s not clear that nearly everything your child accesses on the device has to be whitelisted.

This leads to a confusing first-time user workflow.

Likely, you’ll start by browsing in the Alexa app’s Skills section or the Skills Store on the web to find some appropriate kid-friendly skills for your child to try. For example, I found and enabled a skill called “Math Facts – Math Practice for Kids.”

But when I instructed “Alexa, open Math Facts,” she responded, “I can’t do that.”

She didn’t say why.

As I hadn’t used FreeTime in quite a while, it didn’t occur to me that each Alexa skill would have to be toggled on – just like the third-party apps, videos, books and audiobooks the child has access to that didn’t ship with FreeTime Unlimited itself.

Instead, I mistakenly assumed that skills from the “Kids” section of the Skills store would just work.

Again, you’ll have to know to go to parents.amazon.com to toggle things on.

And again, the process for doing so is too many clicks deep in the user interface to be immediately obvious to newcomers. (You click the gear by the kid’s name, then “Add Content” – not “Echo Dot Kids Edition” as you might think! Then, on the “Add Content” screen, click over to the “Alexa Skills” tab and toggle on the skills you want the child to use.)

The issue with this system is that it prevents Echo Dot Kids Edition users – kids and adults alike – from discovering and enabling skills by voice. And it adds an unnecessary step by forcing parents to toggle skills on.

After all, if the parents are the ones signing in when visiting the Skills store in-app or on the web, that means they’re the ones choosing to enable the Skills, too.

And if they’re enabling a skill from Kids section, one would assume it’s for their kids to use on their device!

The problem, largely, is that FreeTime isn’t really integrated with the Alexa app. All of this – from explicit content filters to whitelisting skills to turning on or off calling, messaging and drop-ins – should be managed from within the Alexa app, not from a separate website.

Amazon obviously did minimal integration work in order to sell parents a pricier Echo Dot.

To make matters more confusing is the fact that Amazon has partnered with some kids skill publishers, similar to how it partnered with other content providers for apps and movies. That means there’s a list of skills that don’t appear in your Parent Dashboard that also don’t require whitelisting.

This includes: Disney Stories, Loud House Challenge, No Way That’s True, Funny Fill In, Spongebob Challenge, Weird but True, Name that Animal, This or That, Word world, Ben ten, Classroom thirteen, Batman Adventures, and Climb the Beanstalk.

But it’s confusing that you can immediately use these skills, and not others clearly meant for kids. You end up feeling like you did something wrong when some skills don’t work, before you figure out this whole whitelisting system.

In addition, it’s not clear that these “Premium” skills come with the FreeTime subscription – most are not available in the Skills store. If your FreeTime subscription expires, it seems you’ll lose access to these, as well.

Overall, the FreeTime experience for Echo feels disjointed, and there’s a steep learning curve for new users.

Your FreeTime Unlimited 1-year Subscription

It’s also frustrating that there’s no information on the FreeTime Parents dashboard about the nature of your subscription.

You can’t confirm that you’re currently subscribed to the paid product known as FreeTime Unlimited. You can’t see when that subscription expires, or when your first free year is up. It’s unclear if you’ll just be charged, or when that will take place. And there’s no toggle to turn the subscription off if you decide you no longer need it.

Instead, you can only “modify” which credit card you use with Amazon’s 1-click. Seriously. That’s it.

Above: want to manage your subscription?

Below: hahaha, good luck with that!

I still don’t know where to turn this subscription off – I guess the option to disable it doesn’t even appear until your free year is up? (Even clicking on “FreeTime Unlimited” from Amazon.com’s subscription management page routes you back to this useless Parent dashboard page for managing your 1-Click settings.)

So, ask me in a year, maybe?

That said, if you are in the market for both a FreeTime Unlimited subscription and an Echo Dot, you may as well buy the Kids Edition.

FreeTime Unlimited works on Fire tablets, Android devices, Kindle, and as of this month, iOS devices, providing access to over 15,000 kid-safe apps, games, videos, books and educational content. On Amazon devices, parents can also set screen time limits and educational goals.

The service by itself is $2.99 per month for Prime members (for one profile) or $4.99 per month for non-members. It’s more if you buy the Family subscription. Meanwhile, the regular 2nd gen Echo Dot is currently $49.99. So you’re basically looking at $50 + $36/year for FreeTime Unlimited if you bought these things separately as a Prime member.

The Echo Dot Kids Edition comes with one year of FreeTime Unlimited and is $79.99. So you’re saving a tiny bit there. Plus, you can always turn FreeTime off on the device, if you’d rather just use the kids Echo Dot as a regular Echo Dot – while still getting a free year of FreeTime for another device, like the kid’s iPad.

Still, watch out because Echo Dot often goes on sale – and probably will be on sale again for Prime Day this summer. Depending on the price cut it gets, it may not be worth it to buy the bundle.

Other Perks

There are other perks that Amazon tries to use to sell the Echo Dot Kids Edition to families, but the most notable is “Magic Word.”

This feature turns on when FreeTime is enabled, and thanks kids for saying “please” when they speak to Alexa. Yes, that seems like a small thing but it was something that a lot of parents were upset about. They thought kids were learning bad manners by barking commands at Alexa.

I don’t know about that. My kid seems to understand that we say “please” and “thank you” to people, but Alexa doesn’t get her feelings hurt by being told to “play Taylor Swift.” But to each their own!

This feature will thrill some parents, I’m sure.

Parents can also use FreeTime to pause the device or configure a bedtime so kids don’t stay up talking to Alexa, but honestly, LET ‘EM.

It’s far better than when they stall bedtime by badgering you for that extra glass of water, one more blanket, turn on that light, now crack the door…a little more…a little less…Honestly, escaping the kid’s room at bedtime is an art form.

If Alexa can keep them busy and less afraid of the dark, I’m calling it a win.

FreeTime with the Echo Dot Kids Edition also lets you set up “Character Alarms” – meaning, kids can configure Alexa to wake them up with an alarm click featuring characters from brands like Disney and Nickelodeon.

This is hilarious to me.

Because if you have a kid in the preschool to tween age range who actually requires an alarm clock to wake up in the morning instead of getting up at the crack of dawn (or maybe one who has gone through years of training so they DON’T ALSO WAKE YOU UP AT THE CRACK OF DAWN OH MY GOD) – then, I guess, um, enjoy character alarms?

I’m sorry, let me stop laughing….Hold on.

I’m sure somebody needs this.

Sorry for laughing. But please explain how you’ve taught your children to sleep in? Do they go to bed at a decent hour too? No seriously, email me. I have no idea.

The Echo Dot Kids Edition can also work as a household intercom, but so do regular Echo devices.

You can turn off voice purchasing on the Kids Edition, but you can do that on regular devices, too (despite what Amazon’s comparison chart says.)

Plus, kids can now control smart home devices with the Echo Dot Kids Edition – a feature that shamefully wasn’t available at launch, but is now.

And that cute protective case? Well, a regular Echo Dot is actually pretty sturdy. We’ve dropped ours probably a dozen times from dresser to floor (uncarpeted!) with no issues.

I like how Amazon tries to sell the case, though:

I guess if your kid plans to do CHEMISTRY EXPERIMENTS by the Echo Dot, you may need this.

In reality, the case is just cute – and can help the Echo better match the kid’s room.

The Echo Kids Edition, overall, is not a must-have device. You’ll have more flexibility with a regular Echo and a little old-school parenting.

[theinvinciblenoob]

Earlier this year, Amazon introduced an Echo Dot for kids, with its $80 Echo Dot Kids Edition device, which comes in your choice of a red, blue, or green protective case. The idea is to market a version of Amazon’s existing Dot hardware to families by bundling it with an existing subscription service, and by throwing in a few extra features – like having Alexa encourage kids to say “please” when making their demands, for example.

The device makes sense in a couple of scenarios – for helicopter parents who want to fully lock down an Echo device before putting it in a kid’s room, and for those who were in the market for a FreeTime Unlimited subscription anyway.

I’ve been testing out an Echo Dot Kids Edition, and ran into some challenges which I thought I’d share. This is not a hardware review – I’m sure you can find those elsewhere. 

Music Filtering

As a parent of an 8-year old myself, I’ve realized it’s too difficult to keep her from ever hearing bad words – especially in music, TV and movies – so I’ve just explained to her that while she will sometimes hear those words, that doesn’t mean it’s okay to say them. (We have a similar rule about art – sometimes people will be nude in paintings, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to walk around naked all the time.)

Surprisingly, I’ve been able to establish a level of shame around adult and inappropriate content to the point that she will confess to me when she hears it on places like YouTube. She will even turn it off without my instruction! I have a good kid, I guess.

But I understand some parents will only want kids to access the sanitized version of songs – especially if their children are still in the preschool years, or have a tendency to seek out explicit content because they’re little monsters.

Amazon FreeTime would be a good option in that case, but there are some caveats.

For starters, if you plan on using the explicit language filter on songs the Echo Dot plays, then you’re stuck with Amazon Music. While the Echo Dot itself can play music from a variety of services, including on-demand offerings from Pandora and Spotify, you can’t use these services when the explicit filter is enabled as “music services that do not support this filter will be blocked,” Amazon explains.

We’re a Spotify household, so that means my child’s favorite bedtime music playlist became unavailable when we swapped out her existing Echo Dot for the Kids Edition which had the explicit filter enabled.

Above: Parent Dashboard? Where? Maybe a link would help?

You can disable the explicit filter from the Parent Dashboard, but this option is inconveniently available just via the web. When you dig around in the Alexa app – which is where you’d think these controls would be found, there’s only a FreeTime On/Off toggle switch and instructions to “Go to the Parent Dashboard to see activity, manage time limits, and add content.”

It’s not even hyperlinked!

You have to just know the dashboard’s URL is parents.amazon.com. (And not www.parents.amazon.com, by the way. That doesn’t work.)

Then to actually disable the filter, it’s several more steps.

You’ll click the gear icon next to the child’s name, click on “Echo Dot Kids Edition” under “Alexa Settings,” then click “Manage Music.” Here, you can turn the switch on or off.

If you don’t have a subscription music service, the Echo Dot Kids Edition also ships with access to ad-free kid-safe stations on iHeartRadio Family.

Whitelisting Alexa skills…well, some skills!

Another issue with the way FreeTime works with Alexa, is that it’s not clear that nearly everything your child accesses on the device has to be whitelisted.

This leads to a confusing first-time user workflow.

Likely, you’ll start by browsing in the Alexa app’s Skills section or the Skills Store on the web to find some appropriate kid-friendly skills for your child to try. For example, I found and enabled a skill called “Math Facts – Math Practice for Kids.”

But when I instructed “Alexa, open Math Facts,” she responded, “I can’t do that.”

She didn’t say why.

As I hadn’t used FreeTime in quite a while, it didn’t occur to me that each Alexa skill would have to be toggled on – just like the third-party apps, videos, books and audiobooks the child has access to that didn’t ship with FreeTime Unlimited itself.

Instead, I mistakenly assumed that skills from the “Kids” section of the Skills store would just work.

Again, you’ll have to know to go to parents.amazon.com to toggle things on.

And again, the process for doing so is too many clicks deep in the user interface to be immediately obvious to newcomers. (You click the gear by the kid’s name, then “Add Content” – not “Echo Dot Kids Edition” as you might think! Then, on the “Add Content” screen, click over to the “Alexa Skills” tab and toggle on the skills you want the child to use.)

The issue with this system is that it prevents Echo Dot Kids Edition users – kids and adults alike – from discovering and enabling skills by voice. And it adds an unnecessary step by forcing parents to toggle skills on.

After all, if the parents are the ones signing in when visiting the Skills store in-app or on the web, that means they’re the ones choosing to enable the Skills, too.

And if they’re enabling a skill from Kids section, one would assume it’s for their kids to use on their device!

The problem, largely, is that FreeTime isn’t really integrated with the Alexa app. All of this – from explicit content filters to whitelisting skills to turning on or off calling, messaging and drop-ins – should be managed from within the Alexa app, not from a separate website.

Amazon obviously did minimal integration work in order to sell parents a pricier Echo Dot.

To make matters more confusing is the fact that Amazon has partnered with some kids skill publishers, similar to how it partnered with other content providers for apps and movies. That means there’s a list of skills that don’t appear in your Parent Dashboard that also don’t require whitelisting.

This includes: Disney Stories, Loud House Challenge, No Way That’s True, Funny Fill In, Spongebob Challenge, Weird but True, Name that Animal, This or That, Word world, Ben ten, Classroom thirteen, Batman Adventures, and Climb the Beanstalk.

But it’s confusing that you can immediately use these skills, and not others clearly meant for kids. You end up feeling like you did something wrong when some skills don’t work, before you figure out this whole whitelisting system.

In addition, it’s not clear that these “Premium” skills come with the FreeTime subscription – most are not available in the Skills store. If your FreeTime subscription expires, it seems you’ll lose access to these, as well.

Overall, the FreeTime experience for Echo feels disjointed, and there’s a steep learning curve for new users.

Your FreeTime Unlimited 1-year Subscription

It’s also frustrating that there’s no information on the FreeTime Parents dashboard about the nature of your subscription.

You can’t confirm that you’re currently subscribed to the paid product known as FreeTime Unlimited. You can’t see when that subscription expires, or when your first free year is up. It’s unclear if you’ll just be charged, or when that will take place. And there’s no toggle to turn the subscription off if you decide you no longer need it.

Instead, you can only “modify” which credit card you use with Amazon’s 1-click. Seriously. That’s it.

Above: want to manage your subscription?

Below: hahaha, good luck with that!

I still don’t know where to turn this subscription off – I guess the option to disable it doesn’t even appear until your free year is up? (Even clicking on “FreeTime Unlimited” from Amazon.com’s subscription management page routes you back to this useless Parent dashboard page for managing your 1-Click settings.)

So, ask me in a year, maybe?

That said, if you are in the market for both a FreeTime Unlimited subscription and an Echo Dot, you may as well buy the Kids Edition.

FreeTime Unlimited works on Fire tablets, Android devices, Kindle, and as of this month, iOS devices, providing access to over 15,000 kid-safe apps, games, videos, books and educational content. On Amazon devices, parents can also set screen time limits and educational goals.

The service by itself is $2.99 per month for Prime members (for one profile) or $4.99 per month for non-members. It’s more if you buy the Family subscription. Meanwhile, the regular 2nd gen Echo Dot is currently $49.99. So you’re basically looking at $50 + $36/year for FreeTime Unlimited if you bought these things separately as a Prime member.

The Echo Dot Kids Edition comes with one year of FreeTime Unlimited and is $79.99. So you’re saving a tiny bit there. Plus, you can always turn FreeTime off on the device, if you’d rather just use the kids Echo Dot as a regular Echo Dot – while still getting a free year of FreeTime for another device, like the kid’s iPad.

Still, watch out because Echo Dot often goes on sale – and probably will be on sale again for Prime Day this summer. Depending on the price cut it gets, it may not be worth it to buy the bundle.

Other Perks

There are other perks that Amazon tries to use to sell the Echo Dot Kids Edition to families, but the most notable is “Magic Word.”

This feature turns on when FreeTime is enabled, and thanks kids for saying “please” when they speak to Alexa. Yes, that seems like a small thing but it was something that a lot of parents were upset about. They thought kids were learning bad manners by barking commands at Alexa.

I don’t know about that. My kid seems to understand that we say “please” and “thank you” to people, but Alexa doesn’t get her feelings hurt by being told to “play Taylor Swift.” But to each their own!

This feature will thrill some parents, I’m sure.

Parents can also use FreeTime to pause the device or configure a bedtime so kids don’t stay up talking to Alexa, but honestly, LET ‘EM.

It’s far better than when they stall bedtime by badgering you for that extra glass of water, one more blanket, turn on that light, now crack the door…a little more…a little less…Honestly, escaping the kid’s room at bedtime is an art form.

If Alexa can keep them busy and less afraid of the dark, I’m calling it a win.

FreeTime with the Echo Dot Kids Edition also lets you set up “Character Alarms” – meaning, kids can configure Alexa to wake them up with an alarm click featuring characters from brands like Disney and Nickelodeon.

This is hilarious to me.

Because if you have a kid in the preschool to tween age range who actually requires an alarm clock to wake up in the morning instead of getting up at the crack of dawn (or maybe one who has gone through years of training so they DON’T ALSO WAKE YOU UP AT THE CRACK OF DAWN OH MY GOD) – then, I guess, um, enjoy character alarms?

I’m sorry, let me stop laughing….Hold on.

I’m sure somebody needs this.

Sorry for laughing. But please explain how you’ve taught your children to sleep in? Do they go to bed at a decent hour too? No seriously, email me. I have no idea.

The Echo Dot Kids Edition can also work as a household intercom, but so do regular Echo devices.

You can turn off voice purchasing on the Kids Edition, but you can do that on regular devices, too (despite what Amazon’s comparison chart says.)

Plus, kids can now control smart home devices with the Echo Dot Kids Edition – a feature that shamefully wasn’t available at launch, but is now.

And that cute protective case? Well, a regular Echo Dot is actually pretty sturdy. We’ve dropped ours probably a dozen times from dresser to floor (uncarpeted!) with no issues.

I like how Amazon tries to sell the case, though:

I guess if your kid plans to do CHEMISTRY EXPERIMENTS by the Echo Dot, you may need this.

In reality, the case is just cute – and can help the Echo better match the kid’s room.

The Echo Kids Edition, overall, is not a must-have device. You’ll have more flexibility with a regular Echo and a little old-school parenting.

via TechCrunch