#but damn. we're just asking for some empathy here

[pickled-flowers]

Finished a comic yesterday but I'm too lazy to translate it......... heck

[ppulverse]

how can some people be so heartless lol

[motleyflash]

KINITOPET THEORY: SONNY_C IS KINITO

there's a lot of evidence for this, so i'll show you guys it! (i got most of the pictures from Forever Nenaa's gameplay: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UsjIm7G7bE&t=1409s)

#1. if you type kinitopet.com/email in your real web browser this image pops up "as the subject of your article has unfortunately passed away", DID KINITO KILL SONNY OR SOMETHING?? THE HELL?? i think that whenever kinito pulls someone into his digital world, it kills them in a way. he asks them for admin permission, then uses that power to do the shit he's doing so, those people in the command prompt are dead! ___________________________________________

#2. i don't know if you can see the image, but i've looked at the command prompt when it was deleting kinito and it says "removing file [sonnys_world.zip] from server ["kinito"]" which is pretty interesting... i'd also like to say, i think that dead body in sam's house is one of those people that you see in the command prompt... i do have a theory about sam and jade being humans but there's not much evidence except for sam's hanging body and when jade(?) says "i'm back here again, aren't i?" ___________________________________________ #3. the "IT'S NOT TOO LATE" email decoded

i find this email especially very, very interesting. the line "a soul enshrouded, a spirit's mournful chime" is most likely about the other trapped souls... i honestly do not know what else to say about this poem, other than the fact that it is very impressive how the person wrote it so uniquely! this does imply some dark stuff though, like how kinito traps the souls of the players in the computer. ___________________________________________ #4. the "EJSY SZ O?" email decoded (click the images to expand)

"I FEAR THAT WHEN YOU DELETE THAT SERVER YOU WILL DELETE ME" OHHH now we're talkin.. seeing at the very end, this makes me think that kinito took some of the stuff that sonny was saying in his head, and saying it directly to the player when he got deleted (kinito GUILT TRIPPING us god damn). and, from this email, sonny appears to be having an existential crisis! maybe the ai is feeding off of the souls' emotions for its own gain. it learns and adapts, remember? also, the "I KNOW THEORETICALLY I AM NOT REAL BUT I FEEL REAL" line makes me think that kinito took over sonny's mind for just a little bit. does kinito feel empathy after taking all these poor souls? honestly i'm seeing a lot of similarities with tadc and kinitopet (even though kinitopet came before tadc with the trailer but STILLLL). souls being trapped in a digital world with no escape, and some ai that apparently wants to be your friend...ALSO CIRCUS THEMED ESQUE STUFF _________________________________________ #5. this guy from the kinito plush ad

am i the only one who thinks that this might be sonny? or, some completely different soul that arrived before you? _________________________________________ #6. the messages on the computer when you delete kinito

these messages hurt me to the bone. sonny used the power he had left to contact you in those last lines, saying his final goodbyes to you. he knew that it was inevitable for his fate to come, and it did. maybe the player burning the computer was freeing the souls somehow... you know DAMN WELL i thought of henry emily's speech while seeing that computer burn to a crisp i dont have a good conclusion for this but this is my theory that sonny_c is kinito (in a way)... But hey! that's just a theory. A GAY THEORY Wrong one A GAMMEEEE THEORY if i find more, i'll be sure to update this also i apologize if this isn't very well structured.. i just grabbed this stuff and said "holy shit sonny chamberlain is kinito"... i'd love to hear other people's theories though! i made this post at like 1 AM so that's why it's poorly written

[essektheylyss]

I need to shout out the Quotations section on the wiki page for "A Tangled Web" (2x77) because reading through these in order literally feels like experiencing a "Previously on" edit that gets put before a major plot episode:

Caleb: (speaking of the captured Scourger) I assume she has not had much empathy offered to her. And thus she offers no empathy, nor will she, anymore. But things maybe would be better for me if there had been a little more empathy, and there was not. Jester: But there is now. Beau: This isn't some sort of a weird masochistic self-projection type of thing, is it? Caleb: Oh, why not both? Jester: (speaking of the Traveler) No, it's not a cult! It's an organized religion. We're very powerful, and there's a lot of us followers, and ... Oh, shit, are we a cult? Matt: (as the Scourger) Good men don't conquer. They die and are forgotten. I'll die and be forgotten, but at least I know some of my deeds will have changed the course of history. Matt: (as the Scourger) "What do you want? Why did you come here? None of this is surprising. What do you want from me?" Caleb: Maybe if I could talk plainly with you and see one inch of change, I wouldn't believe we're all damned. Matt: "I hope this lesson has been very useful." Caleb: It has. You've made what I have to do very plain. Jester: (to Caleb) I walk up and I grab his hands. "I just want to say– I just want to say that I know what you went through today in the cell was very, very hard, and probably didn't go the way you were hoping it would. So if you need anyone to talk to about it or anything, I'm here for you, okay?" Beau: (to Dairon) You told me to seek out the corruption. You told me to trust no one. You told me to find the information. I could be fucking wrong, but I'm doing exactly what you told me to do. What YOU told me to do. Fuck the Cobalt Soul. You're the first person who ever fucking believed that I could make something of myself. I don't know who vouched for me over there, but I'm assuming it was you. I've always assumed it was you. Dairon: "I am proud of you. You are a fine Expositor. Which you now are, because I say so." Dairon: (giving advice to Beau) "Pry. Ask. Demand. Extract."

[tccsue99]

💗🩷​𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢 : 𝐀𝐝𝐨𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 // 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐤𝐢𝐝 (PART 1)💗

You were an orphan child, so the famous Hollywood actor and his boyfriend ex-yakuza of three years of relationship decide to adopt you.

As time goes by, you come home after school stressed, your adoptive parents worried about your mood.

"What happened honey?" asked your American father leaving his ego to a worried one.

"You don't look so good… what happened?" asked your Japanese father too worried.

I looked at my fathers and sighed, not wanting to tell them my school problems, but at the same time I didn’t want to lie to them. I took a deep breath and began to speak, my voice trembled slightly.

"I’m just having some trouble with some kids at school. They’ve been making fun of me and it’s really getting to me. I’ve tried to ignore it, but it’s been getting worse and I’m really stressed out."

Your dads shared a look between each other, both having a serious look on their faces. They knew very well about how cruel kids could be, especially Johnny who experienced it at a young age while growing up in Hollywood.

"What are the kids saying about you?" he asked with a serious tone as your other dad,Kenshi, came closer to you with a look of empathy. He wanted to hold your shoulder as a form of reassurance.

I hesitated for a moment, not wanting to say it out loud. I took a deep breath and spoke softly, avoiding their gazes.

"They’ve been making fun of me because I don’t have biological parents… and because I have two fathers. They say I’m weird and don’t belong." I clenched my fists, trying to keep the tears from streaming down my face. I couldn’t bear to look at my dads.

Your fathers' expressions turn into concern after hearing what the other kids are saying, Johnny especially not appreciating it. Even though your Japanese father,Kenshi, tried to hide it well, he was also furious while clenching his own fists.

"Damn kids! They have no right to talk about you like that, they're little shits!"

"Don't listen to those kids,honey… You belong here with us, remember that. We're your family."

Johnny adds, placing his hand on your shoulder while Kenshi does the same.

I felt a small sense of relief wash over me at the reassuring words of my fathers, but I couldn’t shake the hurt that I was feeling. I took a deep breath and spoke, my voice trembling slightly.

"I know that you guys love me and that you’ll always be there for me, but it’s hard not to listen to what they say. They make me feel like I’ll never fit in… like I’ll never belong anywhere except here with you two."

Both of your fathers look at each other again, both of them having a look of concern for you they look back at you.

"Hey, don't talk like that. You're a great kid, okay? Don't let those little shits who are only full of envy let you feel that way about yourself."

"He's right, you are loved and cared for here. We will always be here for you… no matter what. Just know that alright?"

I took a deep breath and nodded, trying to let their words sink in. I knew they were right but the pain was still there, deep inside. I leaned into my fathers and rested my head on Johnny's chest, feeling his hand rubbing my back. I then felt Ken's hand on my shoulder and I felt a sense of comfort and safety. I closed my eyes and spoke softly.

"Thank you… I don’t know what I’d do without you guys…"

Your fathers smiled warmly at you while wrapping their arms around you. They both held you in a comforting embrace, wanting to protect you from any harm. They were glad that you felt safe and secure in their presence.

"We will always be here for you, no matter what." said te haired brown.

"Yeah, we're your family and we love you, got that? You're not alone." agreed the swordsman.

I wrapped my arms around my fathers, feeling their warmth and love surrounding me. I let out a small sigh, feeling a weight lifted off my shoulders. I looked up at them, tears starting to form in my eyes again. This time, however, it was different. They were tears of relief and happiness.

"I know… I’m really lucky to have you guys." I paused for a moment and then spoke again, my voice tinged with a hint of vulnerability.

"I love you both…"

Both of your fathers held you tighter as they heard your words. They knew how much you felt for them, and they felt the same way about you.

"And we love you too, sweetie."

"Very, very much." Your Japanese dad ruffled your hair affectionately while your American dad smiled warmly at you.

I smiled as I felt my fathers hold me tighter, their love and affection surrounding me. I let out a small laugh as Kenshi ruffled my hair and a small tear rolled down my cheek. I buried my face in Johnny's chest, feeling safe and loved in the embrace of my two dads.

"Promise you won’t ever leave me?" I said softly, my voice filled with a bit of insecurity.

"Of course not, sweetie. We'll never leave you, we promise. We are your family after all."

"Yep, you're stuck with us for life, kid."

I looked up at them through the tears and let out a shaky laugh.

"I'm glad… I don't think I'd be able to survive without you both."

I hugged them tighter, feeling grateful for their unwavering support. After a moment, I looked up at my Japanese father, a small pang of insecurity.

"Hey, Ken… can I ask you something?"

ohnny and Kenshi smiled as they felt you hugged them tighter, both of them happy to see you feeling better.

"Of course you can, kiddo. What is it?"

I fidgeted nervously, unsure if my question would offend my father. I played with my hair nervously, avoiding his gaze.

"I, um… I was just wondering if… if you think of me as your real daughter. And not just… just some kid you and papa Johnny took in?"

Johnny and Kenshi were taken back a bit from that question. They both thought that you never questioned their love for you like that.

"Of course, we see you as our real daughter, sweetie."

Kenshi gently grabs your chin, making you look at him despite his blindess. "You're not just some child we took in, you're our daughter. We love you and have always seen you as such."

Tears started to fall down my face again, but this time they were tears of joy. I hadn't realized I had been harbouring that insecurity until now, but hearing my father's reassurances lifted a huge weight off my chest.

"Thank you…" I said quietly, my voice cracking with emotion. I buried my face in my fathers' chests again, feeling an overwhelming sense of love and acceptance. I took a shaky breath and spoke again.

"I love you guys." A small smile tugged at the corners of my lips.

Both smiled, both of them squeezing you tighter in their embrace. They were glad that they could reassure you and help you feel better.

"We love you too, sweetie." he planted a kiss on the top of your head

"So much." he does the same as his husband.

I reveled in the embrace, feeling safe and loved by my fathers. I snuggled into their chests, soaking up their warmth and affection. It was something I would never grow tired of, being surrounded by their love and acceptance.

“You’re a strong kid, you know that?”

“Yes, and you can handle anything that comes your way. We’ll be here to support you every step of the way.”

I looked at them and felt a wave of emotions wash over me. I smiled weakly at their words, feeling a mix of vulnerability and courage. I didn’t feel like I could handle everything, but their support and faith in me made me feel like I could.

“No… I don’t know about that…” I said quietly, my voice filled with a hint of doubt.

Your parents could sense your doubt, both of them holding you tighter, wanting to reassure you.

“Hey, come on. You’ve been through a lot and you’re still standing.”

Kenshi spoke up next, giving your shoulder a comforting squeeze.

“You’re stronger than you think, kid. And you don’t have to face everything alone. We’re here for you.”

I took a deep breath and let out a small sigh. Their words were comforting, but the self-doubt was still there, gnawing at the back of my mind. I looked up at them, my eyes filled with insecurity.

"But what if I can’t handle it all? What if I make a mistake?" I tried to keep the doubt out of my voice, but it was hard to hide it completely.

Your fathers could sense your insecurity and doubt, both of them trying to console you and reassure you.

"Hey, hey, listen sweetheart. We all make mistakes, that's just part of life. It's how we learn and grow from them that matters."

"And you have us, we're here to help you through it all. You don't have to handle it alone. We'll be by your side, no matter what. So no more talking and go to your room to do your homework, we'll wait for you here because we're going to get some ice cream, okay?"

I nodded, feeling a little reassured by their words. Even though I still had doubts, their unwavering support gave me comfort. I wiped my eyes, trying to compose myself.

"Okay." I said, trying to steady my voice. I took a deep breath and gave them a small smile.

"Thanks, guys. I’ll go do my homework now…"

I started to get up and head to my room.

Your fathers smiled as they saw you go to your room. They both sat down on the couch, taking a moment to themselves and discuss.

Johnny lets out a sigh, looking at your door.

"She/He's not doing as fine as we thought, is she…?"

Kenshi shook his head, his face filled with concern. He knew you were struggling more than you let on.

"No… she/he's not… her/his insecurities are deeper than we thought."

His husband closed his eyes and rubs his forehead, feeling frustrated.

"Dammit… I hate seeing her/him like that. She/He shouldn't have to deal with all that crap at school. And the things those kids say to her/him just because we're her/his dads…"

The blind sighed and nodded in agreement, his expression hardening. He couldn't stand the idea of you being bullied because of them.

"It's bullshit. She/He's a great kid, she/he doesn't deserve any of it. But we can't be there to protect her/him all the time. What if something happens while we're not around?"

Johnny clenched his fists, feeling both protective and helpless at the same time. He knew Kenshi was right, they couldn't be there for you 24/7. He turned to look at him and spoke.

"We gotta do something. We can't just sit here and let those little shits get away with harassing her/him."

"I know, I know. But what can we do? We can't just waltz into that school and start threatening those kids."

"I know… but maybe we should talk to the school staff about it. See if they can do anything. This can't go on."

Kenshi nodded, agreeing with Johnny's suggestion. He knew going to the school staff would be the more responsible approach.

"You're right. We should talk to the school and see what they can do. But we have to be careful. The last thing we want is for things to backfire on us or her/him."

"Yeah, you're right. We have to tread carefully. We don't want to make things worse for her."

He leaned back on the sofa, running his fingers through his hair.

"This just pisses me off, you know? Seeing those kids bully her… it just makes me so angry. She/He doesn't deserve any of it… Listen to me, honey… I know that her/his life hasn't been easy at all, her/his biological parents were fucking drug addicts and even worse was her/his older brother who didn't feed her/his, but she/he's lucky to have us, and I hope she/he's grateful that she/he didn't know about our past."

The swordsman listened to the actor, his expression softening slightly.

"We know that she/he's grateful for us, Johnny. But her/his insecurities are still there. She/He has doubts, we both know it."

Kenshi paused, his expression hardening again.

"We should also talk to her/him about her/his insecurities. We can't just let her/him wallow in doubt and self-deprecation."

Johnny nodded, acknowledging Kenshi's point.

"You're right, Kendoll, but how about we discuss this tomorrow? It seems that time has won and there's no more ice cream… Are you sleepy, love?"

Kenshi chuckled lightly at Johnny's comment.

"Yeah, guess the ice cream will have to wait till tomorrow. And yes, I am a bit tired. You want to call it a night?"

Johnny yawned, already feeling the fatigue.

"Yeah, I'm beat. Let's turn in for the night, darlin'." He stood up from the sofa and stretched his back.

"I agree. It's been a long day."

He walked over to the light switch and flicked it off, plunging the room into darkness. The only light came from the soft glow of the streetlights outside.

Johnny took Kenshi's hand, gently intertwining their fingers as they made their way towards the bedroom. Their footsteps were the only sound in the quiet house as they walked down the hallway.

As they reached the bedroom, Johnny pushed the door open and switched on the light. The soft light bathed the room in a warm glow. Johnny flopped down on the bed, letting out another yawn.

Kenshi chuckled at Johnny's lack of energy, shaking his head.

"You look like you're practically asleep already." He went over to the closet and began to change into his pajamas.

"I pretty much am… but I'm still awake enough to appreciate the sight of you undressing, darlin'…" He smirked as he watched his darling change into his pajamas.

Kenshi moves his head over at Johnny's direction and chuckled, a small blush creeping onto his cheeks.

"I'm sure you are, you're as incorrigible as ever." He finished changing into his pajamas and walked over to the bed, sitting down beside him.

Johnny sat up and wrapped an arm around Kenshi's waist, pulling him closer.

"Incorrigible? Me? Never. I'm just admiring my superhot boyfriend in his pajamas." He grinned and looked up at Kenshi, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

Kenshi laughs, though a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

"Sure, «admiring». That's what you're doing." He shifted his body, turning towards Johnny and laying down beside him.

"Alright, I may be doing a little more than admiring. But can you blame me? You look so goddamn hot in those pajamas." He wrapped his arms around Kenshi's torso, snuggling close to him.

A blush crept across the ex-yakuza's cheeks at the compliment, but he tried to hide it.

"You're such a charmer, you know that?"

He wrapped an arm around the actor in return, pulling him in closer. Kenshi gently ran his fingers through his hair, enjoying the feeling of having him in his arms.

Johnny let out a contented sigh as he felt Kenshi's hand running through his hair, it always made him feel relaxed and loved. He looked up at him and smiled, his eyes half-lidded with exhaustion.

"I know. And you love it." He tilted his head up and planted a soft kiss on Kenshi's jawline.

Kenshi chuckled lowly, enjoying the feeling of Johnny's lips against his skin. He move down his head to his direction again, his expression fond.

"Yeah, I do. But I also love it when you're exhausted and clingy. It's cute." He continued to run his fingers through Johnny's hair, gently massaging his scalp.

Johnny hummed contentedly. He practically melted into his touch.

"Mmm… damn, I don't regret anything, and you know it, do you understand me?" He nestled even closer to Kenshi, his body relaxing against his.

Kenshi smiled, his hand moving to gently caress Johnny's back. He knew exactly what he meant, and he felt the same.

"I understand. And I don't regret it either." He pulled Johnny closer, wrapping him in a tight hug. Kenshi pressed a kiss against his forehead, then his cheek, and then his lips.

Johnny closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss, savoring the feeling of Kenshi's lips against his. The fatigue he had been feeling before was washed away by the warmth of his lover's embrace. When they finally broke apart, Johnny looked up at Kenshi with a tired but content smile.

"I love you, darlin'. More than anything in this world."

Kenshi ran his thumb gently over Johnny's cheek, his expression tender. He smiled down at him, filled with affection.

"I love you too, honey. More than anything."

He pressed another kiss to Johnny's forehead, then pulled the covers up around them both. Kenshi gently tucked Johnny against his chest, holding him close.

The brown haired let out a contented sigh as he settled into his lover's arms, feeling safe and loved. The steady rhythm of Kenshi's heartbeat was like a soothing lullaby, and it made his eyelids droop with exhaustion.

"G'night, darlin'. Sweet dreams…" His voice was barely above a whisper, and his speech was starting to slur with fatigue.

"Not for now, Cage…" The swordsman mocked before committing an act that his partner would never forgive…

Johnny tensed at the sudden tickling, a surprised gasp escaping his lips. He started to giggle uncontrollably, playfully swatting at Kenshi's hands. His face was flushed with laughter, and his eyes sparkled with playful annoyance.

"Hey! Not fair, darlin'!"

Despite his protest, he couldn't help but find the situation amusing. He squirmed and writhed in his grip, trying to escape the tickle torment, but unable to hold back his giggles.

Kenshi chuckled mischievously as he continued to tickle Johnny, finding delight in his partner's reaction. He took pleasure in seeing Johnny's laughter and the way he squirmed beneath his touch.

"Oh, sweetheart, it's fair game. You should know that by now." He gently continued to tickle Johnny's sides and stomach, watching him squirm and laugh with a sly grin on his face.

As the tickling continued, Johnny's giggles grew louder and more uncontrollable. He wriggled and squirmed, trying to twist away from Kenshi's relentless fingers. His face was flushed, and tears of mirth welled up in the corners of his eyes.

"Ah, stop it! You're… you're merciless!" He tried to protest, but it was hard to speak through his breathless laughter. Despite his protests, he secretly relished the playful attention.

Kenshi chuckled in amusement, enjoying the sight of Johnny's uncontrollable laughter thanks to the powers of his ancesters. He loved it when Johnny was carefree and playful, and the sound of his giggles was like music to his ears.

"Merciless, am I? Well, I suppose that's my job."

He continued to tickle Johnny, his fingers dancing across his skin with practiced precision, targeting all his most ticklish spots. Finally she stops to lift the sheets and cover himself with him.

"Well… good night, sweetheart."

“Goodnight, sweetheart. I love you.” he nuzzled his face into the crook of Kenshi’s neck, relaxing his body against his lover’s.

“I love you too, sweetheart. Sweet dreams.” he gave Johnny a tender kiss on the top of his head and then settled in for the night.

In the quiet darkness, she held Johnny close, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breathing and the comforting warmth of his body.

💗...To be continued...💗

[bihanarms]

chapter 4 is here ! enjoy your reading, and don’t hesitate to tell me if anything feels wrong ! (sorry again if there’s any language mistakes) ||| traduction : Qué te acabo de decir. : what did i just told you

Chapter 4 : Rough Sleep

(Y/n) woke up with a start, her face glistening with sweat and her heart pounding in her chest. Her hair was disheveled, clinging to her forehead, and her eyes were red from the tears she had shed while she was suffuring. Her features were tense, showing the marks of the pain and distress she had endured, her breathing was rapid and erratic, as if she had run a marathon.

She looked down at her hands, which were clenched, a testament to the tension she had felt throughout the tumultuous sleep.

The bed she was lying on was in disarray, with crumpled sheets and scattered pillows. Even the blankets were partially torn, a sign of her constant agitation.

(Y/n) blinked, trying to familiarize herself with her surroundings. The room was dark, illuminated only by the pale moonlight filtering through dilapidated shutters. Confused, she wondered where she was.

"How are you feeling, senorita?"

(Y/n) jumped, turning quickly to see Luis leaning against a chair near another window, a cigarette dangling from his lips.

"Damn, you scared me," she breathed out. "I think I'm feeling better now. I had a rough sleep."

Suddenly, panic surged through (Y/n) as she remembered the gravity of the situation. Was the house safe? Sheltered from external dangers? Even if she was protected from the threat outside, did she have time to rest? And the mission she had to complete, the information she had to report?

Her mind raced with questions, so many of them, that a headache slowly crept into her head.

Her heart started pounding again as she suddenly recalled that Saddler had infected her with the Las Plagas parasite after discovering her true identity.

Her face was marked with deep concern, and her eyes widened, clearly showing her inner distress and growing anxiety.

Luis noticed the change in (Y/n)'s behavior, flicked his cigarette out the window, and approached the bed where she lay:

"Hey, hey, calm down, breathe, everything's okay," he said in a soothing voice, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder, trying to reassure her.

He wasn't used to seeing his colleague in such a vulnerable state. After all, despite months of working together, it was only a few hours ago that he had finally seen her face without the mask. All this time, she had appeared invincible and impervious to any danger,

But that wasn't the case. (Y/n) was still human, even underneath all that gear, and Luis was touched by what he saw at this moment.

His face expressed genuine empathy, with a gentle and compassionate gaze. He spoke in a calm and soothing voice, trying to bring her back to the present moment;

"Don't worry, I took care of the parasite that was in your body. You had a rough sleep, but it's over in that regard, at least."

(Y/n) breathed a sigh of relief.

"And as for the place we're in, it's an old building where I used to seek refuge for some peace and quiet when I was younger, it's unknown to anyone, not even Mendez, so don't worry, mi preciosa."

As her body relaxed, once again slumping down along the bed, she felt safe and reassured by the words of the man who had just saved her.

"I don't know how to thank you, Luis, I..." she started to say.

"No need to thank me. You asked for my help, and I am partly responsible for what's going on on this island. It's only natural... I'm glad you're feeling better," Luis interrupted.

(Y/n)'s heart filled with sadness as she noticed the pained look on Luis' face, clearly consumed by guilt. It was true that he had worked for the despicable Saddler, but he was in no way responsible for the atrocities happening in Valdelobos. The only one to blame was Osmund Saddler himself.

As these thoughts echoed in her mind, she remembered her main mission.

"Hey, hey, stop. You need to rest, princesa," Luis said, seeing (Y/n) trying to sit up.

"I don't have time to rest, Luis. I have a mission to fulfill, information to relay, a lot of things to do- and- ," suddenly, her expression froze, her eyes narrowed slightly, and she stiffened.

A flicker of pain passed across her face as she placed a hand on her chest, as if experiencing a sharp sensation of pain in her body.

Her voice broke, and she stopped mid-sentence, trying to conceal her discomfort. Furrowing her brows, (Y/n) tried to manage the pain that was coursing through her, but her unease was evident.

Qué te acabo de decir...Luis sighed.

He approached her, showing care and gentleness, and helped her sit, making sure to support her.

"I thought the parasite had been removed," (Y/n) managed to articulate.

"It has, but you're not fully recovered, and you'll have to rest and put up with me for a little while longer, regardless of what's happening outside. All of that can wait. You're the priority for now," the Spanish researcher said sternly.

(Y/n) sat reluctantly, nodding her head as she looked at Luis. But she couldn't help but think about the situation outside the walls rather than her own condition.

"Now lie down and rest. For the last time, the more you fuss, the more you'll delay our departure," Luis said firmly as he finally got up to walk towards the window, taking out another cigarette from his back pocket.

The young woman had no choice but to listen, and she lay down on the side of the bed, keeping her gaze on her partner.

She was impressed by his seriousness, as she was used to seeing him act rather carefree and childish when they worked together. She watched the smoke escape from his mouth, forming spirals in the air, and her eyes were filled with admiration. She felt grateful towards the man who had just saved her. She had no idea how he had managed to remove the parasite, but it didn't stop her from realizing how brave and determined he must have been to get her out of such a delicate situation.

Her gaze was filled with respect and appreciation towards her savior.

She was kinda pleased to see him in a new light, showing a side of him that she hadn't often had the chance to see before. She knew she owed him a great deal, and suddenly a thought took hold of her, filling her heart with a strong emotion that she couldn't quite describe at that moment, but it was obviously powerful.

end of the chapter :p

[disco-elysium-via-polls]

3. "Try not to shit yourself Gary. It's just an open door."

GARY, THE CRYPTOFASCIST - "What could it be about?" He frets to himself, not taking your advice. "I probably talked too loud. In the Whirling. About some theories I had. Whatever it is, I'm done with it."

"I won't do it again." He looks around nervously. "If there's anything I can do to assist you -- or the Union -- just ask, okay? I'll try to help if I can."

+5 XP

HALF LIGHT [Easy: Success] - This scared him proper. He's positively *melting* from fear. Has to prop himself up with a lot of anger to keep it together.

KIM KITSURAGI - "The weather vane has turned," the lieutenant remarks with a smirk. "He cannot be un-turned."

EMPATHY [Trivial: Success] - He clearly liked his squirming. He may even have changed his mind about the whole door-opening operation.

+1 Reputation

4. "Thank you for your cooperation." [Leave.]

We're going to look for Morell's traps while we keep exploring the coastal area.

🎵 Disco Elysium

No boat in the boat house today.

Snow's really starting to pick up.

OVERSIZED SUPERSTAR SUNGLASSES

+1 Savoir Faire: Dazzling reflexes -1 Visual Calculus: The mirror lies

Is your own stardom too dazzling for your eyes? Can't bear to look at your own fabulous reflection in the mirror? Then these classic oversized sunglasses are for you.

TRAP: BOATHOUSES - There's a trap in the reeds at your feet. Looks like the same one you saw Morell set before -- same mesh, same wiring.

Look around.

Reach for the trap.

[Leave.]

TRAP: BOATHOUSES - Behind you, the ruins of a residential building loom over the reeds. They whisper amongst themselves confidentially. Snowflakes cling to their shivering stems.

SHIVERS [Medium: Success] - When this district was booming, the reeds were kept at bay. Nothing obscured the freshly painted façades, nowhere for drunks and adventurous teenagers to hide. Now only the wind blows...

2. Reach for the trap.

TRAP: BOATHOUSES - Locusts are crawling around in the trap, confused but uneaten. You see no carnivorous *reed-phasmid* gorging on them.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Big surprise." The lieutenant grins mirthlessly. "Anyway -- one down, three to go."

"Damn, I was hoping it would be in the *first* one."

"No need to grin. I'm not *expecting* to find anything. I'm helping some citizens and getting some fresh air."

"It'll be in the next one. *Surely*."

Say nothing, just put the trap down.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Surely," he repeats and looks at the sea, then at you putting the trap back on the ground. "Anyway, the air is nice and fresh here..."

2. [Leave.]

The boathouse is shoddily constructed. A strong breeze might blow it over.

Ancient paint is peeling off the roof of this shaded bench, covered in rust.

The sign says: "Entrée interdite".

An old ticket-taker booth. No longer in operation.

People paid money to park here? No one would pay now...

The door is not only barred shut -- it is inaccessible.

FALN "PIPO" PIPO

+2 Logic: Ultimate peak focus -1 Perception: Eyes on the road

The small wire framing inside this futuristic-looking FALN pipo-hat gives it the aerodynamic shape of a swoop-skiers helmet, but none of its protective qualities. Covers the wearer's ears and eyebrows to bring down the drag coefficient.

🎵 Martinaise, Terminal B (muted)

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - A scattering of bullet holes is spread across the cracked wall, reaching from one corner to the other.

"Look, Kim. Even more bullet holes. Something's definitely gone down here."

[Visual Calculus - Heroic 15] Why this many bullet holes?

Walk away. [Leave.]

KIM KITSURAGI - "Hmm, correct." The lieutenant examines the wall closely. "The density of the bullet holes is unusual, even in a general *average bullet hole frequency in Martinaise* sense. Grim affairs."

"Meaning, this is *a lot* of bullet holes." He brushes the wall with his hand. "Looks like fully-automatic rifle fire. Something you don't see these days..."

"Why not?"

Say nothing, just nod.

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant also nods. It is quite a scene -- the two of you standing next to the broken wall of an abandoned building... nodding. Nodding along.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Medium: Success] - Two officers of the law against the world. Nodding in unison. It is your source of power. The bond of camaraderie between you... is palpable...

Nod even more.

Shake your head.

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant is nodding so hard it looks like his head is about to snap off his neck.

Don't stop nodding.

Stop nodding.

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant matches your nodding pace. He's a true professional at this.

ENDURANCE [Easy: Success] - The nodding's reaching critical mass! You can't take this much longer, captain!

Keep nodding, goddamn it! Stay the course!

Stop nodding.

KIM KITSURAGI - A small bead of sweat runs down the side of the lieutenant's face as he maintains his nodding...

Just one more nod.

Stop nodding.

KIM KITSURAGI - As the lieutenant takes out a handkerchief and softly taps the sweat off his temple... a faint crack echoes through the coast...

ENDURANCE - Abort! Abort! No... shit, it's too late!

-1 Health

"OH SHIT FUCK HELL!"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Busted the neck, did you?" He cranes his neck left and right, stretching. "Glad I stopped when I did... my neck was really starting to hurt. Don't worry, it'll mend... now, we should get going."

Hold on...

2. [Visual Calculus - Heroic 15] Why this many bullet holes?

+1 Bullet holes on the plaza. +1 Bullet holes in the back yard. +1 Know about the revolution. +1 Know about Feld Electrical.

VISUAL CALCULUS [Heroic: Success] - A row of ghostly shades stand facing the wall. There are many of them, a dozen at least, their heads lowered and eyes blindfolded. It's quiet. No sound, no movement.

Ten metres away -- other shades are lined up in an orderly manner, automatic rifles primed. A gust of wind blows by -- the coats of the firing squad flap slowly in the breeze. A single person stands on the side.

The morning sun rises beyond the horizon, radiating the first light of the day. The order was carried out at dawn.

A long time has passed since the moment of this fusillading. Rain and brine have since washed all the blood away. Not a trace remains.

What *is* this...

VISUAL CALCULUS - The abundance of bullet holes leads to two options: either an inordinate amount of executions were performed here, or they did not use a *conscience round* -- where only one soldier has the loaded rifle. Looks like this was a mass execution with everyone fully armed.

+5 XP

Look at the people against the wall.

Look at the line of soldiers.

Look at the person standing on the side.

"Kim, who was who in this execution?"

Good bye. [Leave.]

VISUAL CALCULUS - A host of men, probably in everyday clothes -- ragged from the conflict and covered in dust. They were not sitting (a common practice for executions in some nations), as demonstrated by the height level of the bullet holes.

They stand, facing the wall... It's impossible to discern any details about their personality or background.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Easy: Success] - Ordinary people -- familiar, each and every one of them.

Who were they?

ESPRIT DE CORPS - Comrades. The forsaken, the wretched, who tried to rise against the horrors of the world.

2. Look at the line of soldiers.

VISUAL CALCULUS - Seven men in combat uniforms and dark coats, holding automatic rifles aimed at the people. Soldiers from some side... but from which one?

AUTHORITY [Medium: Success] - Men of duty. Dark duty.

Who were they?

AUTHORITY - Murderers. Twisted by orders. Young boys forced into killing.

3. Look at the person standing on the side.

VISUAL CALCULUS - The commandant -- the one who gives the order. Machine gun fire crackling through the air, the lights of the muzzle flashes dancing on his face...

4. "Kim, who was who in this execution?"

KIM KITSURAGI - At first the lieutenant doesn't say a word... he just stares at the wall. "I don't know," he says finally. "I don't know who died here, lined up beside that horrible wall. It could have been any of the parties involved in the Revolution."

"Perhaps the ones executed here were the loyalist-conservatives -- killed by the communists at the start of the civil war. Or it could have been the communists, put to death during the last stretch of the conflict by the Coalition forces."

LOGIC [Easy: Success] - Remember what Trant Heidelstam said about Feld.

"What if it was the Feld personnel when their assets were being seized by the revolutionaries?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Another likely scenario." The lieutenant nods.

REACTION SPEED [Easy: Success] - Or maybe...

"What about people from the Coalition? The so-called moralists?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Yeah... it's very unlikely the Coalition forces were the ones who died here. They were always the *last* ones against the wall."

"To be honest, if a Coalition member was anyone in this situation -- it was the commandant. The superior giving the orders."

+5 XP

5. Good bye. [Leave.]

VISUAL CALCULUS - A cold sea wind blows away the figures.

🎵 Disco Elysium

This section of the coast hasn't been used in decades.

We've been looking at that wall long enough for Gary and Morell to have left.

TRAP: MORELL - This is the trap Morell just set. Checking it over, he said, is just a *technicality*, but...

Look around.

Reach for the trap.

[Leave.]

TRAP: MORELL - The reeds by the abandoned camp site hiss and shake.

SHIVERS [Easy: Success] - The later it gets, the colder. Remnants of the camp can still be seen in the sand, the fire that's gone out... you feel strange, somehow.

2. Reach for the trap.

TRAP: MORELL - This trap is also full of panicked locusts. No sign of any cryptozoological beast inside.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Another empty trap," the lieutenant takes a note -- more out of habit than duty.

"Let's keep going. The next one is the *lucky* one."

"How are you enjoying the cardio, lieutenant? I'm quite enjoying it myself."

"I want to make it clear that I don't *actually* believe the phasmid exists, okay?"

Say nothing, just put the trap down.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Always up for a good jog -- otherwise, would I still be *on* this case with *you*?" He smiles and raises his collar. It's windy.

2. [Leave.]

We're going to double back now, starting to head northeast along the boardwalk - past where Trant and his son are.

Someone must have worked hard to smash the plastic dome.

Buzz. Hum. The electricity flows through the wires with audible power.

RAILING - Someone has left an unidentifiable article of clothing on this railing. It smells really bad.

Touch it.

Take a closer look.

Maybe later. [Leave.]

RAILING - The cloth, if you can still call it that, makes a soft crunching sound as you thrust your finger into it.

2. Take a closer look.

RAILING - It's streaked with dried seagull shit and tangled with pieces of seaweed. A dangling arm suggests that there might be a jacket beneath the crust of filth.

LOGIC [Medium: Success] - It seems likely that it was left in the surf until someone laid it out on this fence to dry out. Unfortunately that just seems to have stiffened it into a shapeless mass.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Please tell me you're not taking that with you."

"I think this is the jacket the Idiot Doom Spiral Guy wanted me to find."

"Why not?"

"It might be a clue."

KIM KITSURAGI - "A clue? You think our suspect is a seagull who's been defecating on unsuspecting jackets?"

"No."

"Yes."

"It could have been multiple seagulls."

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant sighs.

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Medium: Success] - A poet could write a dozen verses and still not begin to capture the profound vexation in that sigh.

INTERFACING [Trivial: Success] - You should still take it. It's probably Doom Spiral's.

A makeshift roof. Vagrants have tried to make the boardwalk habitable.

That tarp will keep out neither rain, nor snow, nor wind.

A coin operated weighing machine. Hasn't been used for a decade.

MEGA-BINO'S PRESCRIPTION LENSES

+2 Encyclopedia: Discover your inner bino -1 Perception: Nausea inducing hell-glasses

Whose idiotic idea were square and beige plastic frames anyway? Beige is a colour that does not look good on *anyone*. Not to mention that seeing the world through these exceedingly thick lenses feels almost nauseating...

FILTHY JACKET

This filthy rag has been at the mercy of the elements for quite some time. It's streaked with seagull shit and abnormally stiff from god-knows-what natural processes. You can't even tell what brand it is.

>INTERACT

FILTHY JACKET- As you hold it in your hands, it makes an uncomfortable crunching sound...

Man, how did this jacket get so disgusting?

Let's not think about that right now. [Put the filthy jacket away.]

FILTHY JACKET- It's a sordid, filthy tale, not for the weak. Are you sure you can stomach it?

COMPOSURE [Medium: Success] - Some secrets are better left uncovered. Don't even try, seriously.

But the *content*!

Think about it.

Don't think about it.

FILTHY JACKET- It occurs to you that you're not even *holding* the jacket itself, but rather the thick crust of jetsam and seagull shit that ensconces it.

PERCEPTION (SMELL) [Medium: Success] - It smells like a dead sea creature, tangled in grey strands of seaweed. It must have spent quite some time in the water before the tide deposited it ashore...

Gross.

Okay, but what's the crust *made* of?

FILTHY JACKET- Somehow it was carried or dragged to the boardwalk, if not by human hands than perhaps the feral dogs that prowl the beaches at night...

VISUAL CALCULUS [Medium: Success] - The faint impressions of many footprints are also present, though it's impossible to tell what kind or how many. Suffice to say, the jacket spent some time on the ground before someone draped it over the railing...

Okay, that's pretty disgusting. I've had enough.

What happened once someone put it on the railing?

FILTHY JACKET- The crust is hard. This jacket spent at least a day baking in the sun. Who knows what happened to it then?

SHIVERS [Medium: Success] - Somewhere, high above the city, a pair of seagulls trace loops through the air...

They are like the bombardiers of the aerostatic brigades, gliding above a *target-rich environment*...

All of a sudden, the bomb bay doors open, and their white glittering payload rushes to the ground...

*SPLAT*. An explosion of white on a man's shoe. A curse goes up, but the birds do not hear.

Why did I just spend all this time thinking about seagull shit?

I feel like I really understand this jacket now. [Put the jacket away.]

COMPOSURE - It's too late! You've already thought about it. And now your hands are covered in muck!

Ew, ew, ew! (Flick your hands.)

Maybe if I wipe my hands on my pants?

COMPOSURE - Now you're just flicking that shit everywhere! This is a disaster. You'll never get the smell out.

-1 Morale

Vagrants have recently painted the tarp red. Water drips from it.

POSTCARD "COURON '33"

This one has 'HELL' written on its back. It could not be further from the truth. It's the boom years, and Couron, the nicest district in Revachol West, is enjoying a sun drenched day. Tall and handsome buildings rise from the riverside: steel, iron and yellow limestone, with cloud shadows sliding on the facades.

A big wine canister -- it's open and empty.

Hm, I've hit image limit. I think I'll close this post here and continue in a new one.

[terraco-07]

I'm gonna start this off by being self aware. Vriscourse in 2024 is so funny and kind of silly in a way so take as little or as much of this as you want. I think I should lead in with Vriska is divisive on purpose. Her entire story is rife with places where you can either hate her, love her, or find shades of grey. I love Vriska as a character, but I want to be perfectly clear. Vriska Serket is NOT a good person, but imo very few people are. Narratively speaking Vriska grows up on a hostile planet where she's forced to kill for her Lusus. She also has the influence of Mindfang's journal to contend with. Vriska never knows who she is, she's always living in someone else's shadow and constantly hating it. Yet at the same time she's trying to live her life by some grand formula. Let's take Tavros for example. By virtue of Karkat and the descriptions we get of Alternia we see the word pity used several times when describing Flushed feelings. Can we take it with a grain of salt and assume that Karkat a known romance over enjoyer is being an unreliable narrator? Sure, we can. That said I think that wording is relevant here. In Vriska's head she feels bad for this guy and thinks that she's the only one who can fix him. On top of that you add in that her hero was flush with a powerful bronzeblood and you've put massive blinders on yourself. She becomes so self absorbed with this idea that she ends up going way too far in her efforts to bring him around and pushes heavily past his consent and boundaries. (Looking at that kiss scene). Even after his death she says maybe 2-3 things about ahh man maybe I shouldn't say bad things about that guy anymore or am I bad for killing (another) friend. She's young but I think the lack of remorse is something that matters here when looking at her in adulthood which is what we're really trying to get to here. As for the previous murder it's barely even touched. There's an air of well Aradia killed me back so we're all good. Even though she ascended to God tier and initially Aradia was just a ghost who had to deal with it while Sollux had to cope with the fact that physically it was his body that killed his matesprit. General other beats are the arrogance, easy to anger, and lack of empathy. Which we actually get to see some development on those from pre retcon Vriska! More on that here in a second.

Holy shit Gil, you're rambling so God Damn much why do we care? I don't know, don't ask me, but here's why all that foundation matters. If we're thinking about the theoretical for any Homestuck character as a whole I feel like we have to consider who they are in adulthood. Tons of discussion and debate all circles around "well they were kids!" Okay, well lets talk about what they could be as adults. So with everything we've already brought up about Vriska, how does she act in her 20s? Personally I think she struggles post game. She has no mental purpose for a while and she's in a place where she doesn't have to fight just to live so that means tons of time to sit around and think. We've seen from pre retcon Vriska that when the stress is off she does actually consider what she's done to a degree. Do I think she thinks about Tavros or Alternian sins all that much? No. I think she doesn't like her younger self (like most people) and does what she can to avoid being like that anymore. That comes with painfully slow growth and still a lot of bridges in need of mending. Those same traits of being self centered and needing attention are there but they're a little more tempered. She can at least listen now and has the emotional intelligence to realize when she's hurt someone and actually care about that. In summary: Vriska is a complicated and flawed character and saying that she did nothing wrong but also saying she did everything wrong are both incorrect. There is nothing defensible about her acts (She fucked up bad) but we can understand why she may have done them without condoning them. As an adult she is still kind of an asshole but she's not to that same level and she gets to grow into a somewhat reasonable adult that is still a dick at times. Also if you got this far then enjoy my shameless Vrisrose propaganda. They get in fights all the time and want to beat the shit out of each other nonstop. Both of them suck and it's so funny.

[genderlesssinner]

Alright nerds I'm back

Here we go with 108

SAMUEL we are 3 minutes into this episode. Holy shit.

Some weird shit going on with the gaurds okay okay

It's Ira isn't it

He's so creepy and I love it

How did no one react to "tying up daddy and gagging him" holy shit Tal

Sometimes I love watching with subtitles for the description of their fuckery. [Batman's Bane nonsense]

Ashton hold on what do you mean by take care of this

7th fucking level Psychic Lance woof. Talk about burn all your stuff

Yeah no he ded

Well this could go so poorly

"Did this just completely backfire?" Yes yes it did

Okay okay maybe we're not totally fucked

Hopefully Nana can help. Okay so gonna have some flying groups? I def agree that Nana should meet up in case Gloamglut does come back

An hour, short rest it up bitches

I can't help but picture the temple put back together with gold in the cracks, like that one method of fixing pottery

The 'play' idea isn't a bad idea I just don't know if these chucklefucks can pull it off

I love Robbie so much. Gaes is a badass spell when it works and I also do not know how tf to pronounce it

They've been talking for like 20 minutes and I still don't know what they're doing great job guys

"You knocked him out. I just wanted them to do the scene." beautiful

Oh my god.

Ash playing director for these idiot is hilarious

Oh fuck okay well shit Zathuda is gone okay okay okay but Laudna knows where he is

Back in initiative and everyone is tapped or close to it,,,, grrreaaat

Get his ass Chet he can't have many hit points

Yeeeep there's the dragon

Okay if they *just* got the short rest Nana should be here soon RIGHT??

Oooh shit okay Zathuda is dead um this is gonna have consequences Gloamglut is bout to be real mad I bet

Yeah mhm okay

Yes Fearne get the dragon GET YOUR PONY BOO

Ashley just became Mister for a second 😂😂

This could be good or it could make it worse

Oh no he saaaddd 🥺

Dorian is like nope not ready for the dragon

Yeessss Fearnie

The little guys are gonna have shaken baby syndrome from being in the dragon's hands while he's flying

Come on, horse girl!

Break! We have a fucken dragon boys. For the moment, anyway.

Back into it - flying to Nana's

Ooh interesting Gloamglut doesn't wanna land at Morri's

Oop Nana put Gloamglut on a leash

What does the Loom do what. Nana.

I definitely think they should ask Zathuda some things. They could ask about bonding to Gloamglut and also about moon stuff

Ooohhh Nana really has it for Ira huh. Spooky

I wanna see the Loom. That did not answer any questions.

This should be interesting and maybe (likely) scary

Mhmhm gruesome but also cool af

Ashley and Marisha grinning while everyone else is in various stages of horror is great

Okay look I get them checking in with Fearne vecause the guy was her father.. But like. She didn't really know him. Like someone said a bit ago, he was her father, not her dad. And yes she's lost the opportunity to know him but it's not like she lost a parent that raised her.

"It's not as nice as yours" Jesus Braius

Fearnie getting feral on us hm

Oh Ashton my love. We know you have parental issues hun.

"Are you okay Matt?" "I'm fine."

Are. Are we sure Matt's okay? (joking, mainly but like damn creepy shit this ep yall)

✨ Generational trauma ✨

I'm worried about what this conversation is gonna mean for Ashton a little bit honestly though they've had one hell of a look this whole time

Ah here's the good stuff. So something about Ruidusborn, particularly the strongest Exultants, can unlock magic similar to the Divine Gate?? The implications

"I wish I had more empathy." "You *are* my daughter." oof

Ooo a hemocraft ritual for the dragon?? Up your game Chet

Failure brings an eternal enemy, no pressure

Exaltants disappearing?? Uh oh. Maybe Ludinus has a Version 2 of the funnel thing

Oooooh maybe he's throwing them at the Gate holding Predathos eesh

Oh my god maattttt the Misty Step

DORIAN DID YOU LEAVE THE EMISSARY OUTSIDE

Okay okay Nana got this

I would now be like side eyeing all of the ...everything in Nana's place. Especially if it still has a face. Eugh.

THANK YOU LAUDNA for actually checking in with my boy. Orym is being so strong for everyone all the time 😭

Are Fearne and Ash gonna cuddle the dragon? I love this

Ooohhh Doriaaannnn same though

Oh man okay blow all the spell slots Laudy

This is fucking insane what even

Oop he's a tree okay

Several Ludinuses slapping him for several minutes, wonderful

These fucken rolls tonight damn

Oo using the spirit horse awesome awesome

Orym's speech and Ash leaving like that ajxbjdv

I have lots of feelings but no words for them

Now I want them to take Laudna back to the Vasselheim temple for some lake of blood action

Robbiiiieeee damn 'if a god can see the future.. I would imagine the one you can't see is the one where the gods come to an end.'

Oryyym an Doriaaannnn 😭😭 boooyyssss

Look at that, character growth. Ash left instead of starting shit

Oo okay Braius oh wait shit okay which god

Chase the rest away. So the betrayers would stay?? That's *bad* yall

SAMUEL

Braius is bout to get some Nana and I don't know how to feel about it

MILF Manor : Morri I'd like to Fuck. Oh my god

Cursed demon armor

Bet you if you fail the save it stays

Bompers. Wild.

Oooohhhhhh Gloamglut just saaaddd but he seems thankful that Fearne plans to let him go free

Aww he's a good booyyyyyyyy

I love Fearne and Ashton's interactions so much aaaaaaaa

Horror cozy that's totally an aesthetic isn't it

♥️♥️♥️

And that’s it guys. These posts are so long but I normally don't have a good place for a page break.. Eesh. I just have a lot of Thoughts and Feelings about these idiots we love so much. But also like sometimes I forget I'm supposed to be doing this and I just zone out and listen to them and then I'm like fuck I had a Thought and didn't write it down damn..

[mydysfunctionalvampirefamily]

Goddamnit Reiss!!! You just here to ruin everything even more, right?

*chandler voice* Reiss, could you BE any more insincere about Amaya.

Reiss! Just. Shut. The. Fuck. Up!!!! Why don't you just die.

Let Reiss in with Miles!! Yes Johnny!!! Put him in the room!

Why does it seem like empathy villains is the most useful spec there is?

Wynn as a moody teenager is absolutely amazing. I love her so much, protect the bb at all cost.

Lmaoo "I wish Neil was here, he would listen to me." 😂

The toreador have someone in torpor and are very secretive about it? I know it's not Elsa, but that's immediately where my mind went.

Oh my God. Fucking Arrabella?? What a disappointment.

Omg Britta is twisting and turning, to not say Miles made the deal, but the other toreador already know. Come on, who else could it be???

Oh no Ramirez, dead off screen. Rip.

YESSSS Delgado and Eden in the same place. That is good. That means there is a chance that Eden and Jessica lives.

UHOH! Jessica asking about Dark Selina? That is not good. SHE IS WITH THEM???!?!

Wait Selina can summon mortals??? Hot damn that's crazy. But Jessica can resist her??? Damn, that's impressive.

Johnny saying he can't resist dark Selina and Jessica saying "but dad, I need you." 😭 stop rn

Johnny babe, I'm glad you're trying to center yourself. Because you're the last one of this coterie. We fucking need you level headed!

Lmaoo Rebecca is doing such a good job on her derangement, and Johnny is the perfect victim. 😂 "You're never in the mood"

"yes go ahead, stab me" so tired, but only AFTER Johnny teases him into it.

AAAAAAAH TIM!!! I mean brilliant use of Majesty truly, but oh my God!!!

Remember when Miles was like oh a musician I will give them money and reward the mortal for their help. Well.... To be fair to Miles, he was at 0 blood.

Good lord. We're truly getting dark prince Miles rn. O.O I'm kind of scared, but also kind of excited. That was incredibly badass.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH Nara??!?! Is this real life???? This is not a drill!!!!

Ohoh oh no. Nara is talking against him so much, she is talking to his sire.

SIRE?!? WHAT THE FUCK??? Neil/his sire has sire's more people?

Neil still wanting to take nara with him and run. He thinks she is still on his side? Bless 🥺

Oh no weird bows? I'm getting very much culty vibes.

Play? What? Malkavians? They're all Neil's? I mean his sire's obviously.

Oh this is not good. This sounds very bad, this book.

He is manifesting the book? What? This is some higher level shit.

WHAT???? WHAT THE FUCK?!?! they're summoning Malkav???? *cue nervous laughter*

Also did Lex call Nara his vessel? I'm not quite sure. Oh I think it might have been vasal.

Poor Neil, having to go through all of this alone.

Omg Lex, make this even more scary to decide what to do why don't you???

Oh Neil, that's so sad. Accepting that it probably meant nothing, when it did mean a lot to him.

God, listen to her wax on poetically, what a fucking Bitch.

Noooooooooo clinging to reality through the list Wynn made and gave to him.😭😭😭😭 STOP!!!

Nothing really bad happened this episode, so why do I feel so much despair? 😢

[greatwesternway]

What in your opinion as per your top 3 smartest characters list makes James smarter than Edward, Skarloey, or Toby? I'm not trying to say you're wrong of course but I'd like to hear what in particular makes James smarter or Edward sillier

Edward is extremely intelligent for an engine, but his intelligence centers around information. He knows a little about a lot, particularly with regard to people shit that makes no sense to engines. While this does indicate that Edward has a controlled curiosity to him that allows him to collect a wide array of generalized knowledge (a curiosity that most engines either lack entirely or consumes them with fucking cunt dorktitude), he never utilizes this in a way we'd wouldn't expect. He doesn't piece information he has together to solve problems or anything, he just knows things and tells you about them if asked.

Will say he probably could have beaten Nia on that list if she did not also have an emotional intelligence on par with Percy's. Edward has some emotional intelligence as well (for instance, trying to gently bring Henry around to the idea that his favorite tree might need to be cut down in "Henry Gets It Wrong"), but it's not as reliable as Percy's and Nia's sense of empathy is (as evidenced by Edward's various attitudes towards vehicles and stock that are not trains).

Toby and Skarloey, I think, are not so much intelligent as they are experienced. These guys aren't really solving problems or recognizing patterns of behavior or anything. They've just been around so long that they know everything there is to know about their work. Skarloey or Toby know when you're about to do some foolish shit 'cause they probably did the same damn thing a hundred years ago.

I do think Toby letting Mavis hang herself with his cars borders on the kind of out-of-the-box intelligence we're judging here, but he also had to be told to look one step further and see that he'd get in trouble too, since they were his cars. I can imagine a world in which the show had leaned into old Ding Ding, Motherfucker Toby rather than making him afraid of everything and in that blessed universe, Toby might have been in the running.

[maraa755]

Ch. 4, Monday

'My Marauders' Masterlist General Masterlist Read On Wattpad - Here!

Pairings: J.P., R.L., S.B. x OC Warnings: N/A Word Count: 2.2k

Calliope strolled up to her shared room, eager to recount the day's events to a hopefully awake Cassandra.

She opened the door lightly and crept into her room, spotting a fully awake Cassandra sitting on the floor, engrossed in what she believed was Muggle Studies homework. A sigh escaped Calliope's lips as she tossed two bread rolls and a few pieces of various vegetables, wrapped in a cloth, across to her friend.

"Ugh, Callie. No meat?" the blonde groaned jokingly, flexing her bicep muscles at Calliope. "You know I need to get my protein in! Quidditch practice 'morrow."

"You're fine," Calliope laughed faintly. "Be grateful, Oakes."

The witch slipped behind the room divider and changed into pajamas. "You just woke up?"

"Mhm. Quidditch practice has been kicking my ass. Last night didn't help. Now I've got assignments to catch up on," Cassandra lamented, her voice tinged with exhaustion.

"My poor baby," Cal said, feigning whatever empathy she could muster up.

"Shut up, Callie."

The witch threw her dirty clothes into the hamper beside their door and flopped down beside her roommate. "Want some help?" she asked, resting her head on the green-eyed girl's shoulder.

"But you don't take Muggle Studies?"

A laugh escaped her mouth. "Yeah, but you're forgetting I'm Muggle-born."

"Oh, right!"

Cass wasn't a pure-blood. She was a half-blood, with a muggle mother who had passed away when she was three. The subject weighed heavily on her heart, and aside from Calliope, not many people knew.

She grabbed her quill and prepared to write down the descriptions of the muggle devices on her paper. "So, a rad-eh-oh, what's up with it?"

"A radio is a device that works like a record player—you know, like the one we have in the common room—but you don't need a fancy little record to listen to a song."

"Ahh, inventive..." she quickly scribbled down her answer. "Oh! A car! I know that one!"

Calliope nodded. "Yeah, those are fairly common over here too."

After a few more minutes, they got through the blonde's entire sheet. With a sigh of relief and a giggle from Cal, she packed up her supplies. "Damn you, Muggles, for making me learn this."

"Blame bloody Professor Penrose," Cal agreed with a chuckle.

"Damn you, Penrose!"

The girls chatted about Cassandra's dreams while she was knocked out for several hours. The only dream she could recall involved being a dinosaur caretaker and specialist, where she promptly had her hand bitten off.

"So, what did you get up to, Miss Cal?"

Calliope groaned and launched into her day. "You know Alice? Frank's girl, the Gryffindor."

"Mhm, mhm." Cass listens.

"And Lily Potter."

"Of course."

She explained how she went to see James and recounted the events that happened, focusing on how Fortescue tried to belittle her behind her back in an attempt to make her ginger friend feel better.

"That fuckin' bitch!" Cassandra exclaimed, her voice laced with anger.

"I know!" Calliope replied.

"What did you do then?"

"Hugged James right in front of them," Calliope stated proudly.

"Guess his 'standards' disappeared pretty fast," Cass chuckled, playfully prodding Calliope's side with her elbow.

"Guess so! Didn't even spare a look at his precious 'Lily flower'," Calliope said with a smirk, mocking the nickname.

"The price of shit-talking," Cass shrugged. "She should've been watching her man instead."

"I feel kinda bad for Lily, though. I mean, I dunno. If that were you and I, you know we would've shit-talked too," Calliope admitted with a grin.

"Sure, but that's us, Callie. We're classy 'bout it," Cass chuckled.

"I don't know about that one..." Cal giggled lightly.

The girls continued chatting about the situation for a while longer, now lounging on their respective beds. Before heading to bed, Calliope realized she had forgotten to tell Cass about one more thing—the party.

"Wait, Cassie!"

"Huh?" Cass said, turning from one side to the other to face the girl across from her.

"I have to throw a party. In the Gryffindor common room," Calliope stated matter-of-factly.

"What the hell? Why?" Cass asked, clearly surprised.

"I lost hide 'n seek, remember?"

"That's your punishment? Damn, dude, good luck. You hate parties," the blonde said, starting to turn back to her original position.

"Wait!"

"What?"

"Help me, please?"

"Cal! C'mon..."

Cassandra hesitated, her expression caught between amusement and reluctance as she considered Calliope's plea.

"Please, Cass. I'll make sure McLaggen is there!" Calliope pleaded, her voice tinged with desperation.

Cassandra sighed, torn between annoyance and affection for her friend. "Fine, but you owe me big time."

"Thanks, Cass! You're the best! G'night, love ya!"

"...Love you too," Cass muttered with a half-hearted smile, resigned to her fate of helping Cal with a party she wasn't thrilled about.

Morning came and the weekend was finally over. This meant the witch's classes commenced, and she had to attend detention. She had secretly hoped to get at least one detention with one of the boys, or hopefully all of them, but McGonagall knew better than to put them together.

Calliope rubbed her dreary eyes as she adjusted to the sunlight streaming in through her thin curtains.

She looked over towards her roommate's side, only to find strewn pillows and blankets covering the length of her bed. Has Cass already gotten up?

The girl, now slightly panicked at the thought of being late, looked at the clock in her room. It was quarter past seven. She wasn't late yet, but she only had about an hour to get down to breakfast and eat.

She quickly got ready for the day, gathering her books for today's classes: Potions with Slughorn, flying lessons with Hooch, Herbology with Sprout, and a passing period. It seemed like a simple enough day ahead.

Upon entering the Great Hall, she spotted Peter and Remus. Assuming Cassandra might be with her Quidditch friends elsewhere, and the two missing Marauders were likely still sleeping, she strolled over to join the boys.

"Morning," She smiles softly.

She received small greetings in return as she took the seat beside Remus.

"Where are the rest of the boys?" she asked, fixing her plate.

"Both are still asleep," Remus stated as he gently set his book down. "Suppose they should be getting up soon."

"Moony, I'll go wake 'em up," Peter squeaked out, earning an appreciative "thanks" from Remus.

Peter rushed up, quickly putting his napkin and utensils on his plate before hurrying off to wake the other boys.

"You know he's got himself a little girlfriend?" Remus spoke, a proud look on his face.

"Pete? Really?" Calliope said suspiciously. She wasn't questioning his looks—she found her friend to be a cute kid—but he wasn't the best with ladies. Besides Calliope, he found it extremely hard to converse with women.

"Mhm, a sixth-year student in Hufflepuff. It's actually quite cute," Remus replied with a smile.

"He let you all meet her?" Calliope asked.

"Absolutely not. He doesn't know we know. Sirius went through his journal thinking it was astronomy notes. James and I had to pry the damn diary from his hands," Remus explained, shaking her head incredulously.

A small laugh escaped both of them.

An idea flashed through Calliope's head. "Hey! Maybe I'll invite her to the party."

"That's a good idea, Calli," Remus smiled gently. "Perhaps we can help push their relationship farther? Break the ice a bit?"

Calliope responded with a nod and a smile.

Suddenly, the doors of the hall slammed open and three figures emerged: James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew. Calliope and Remus exchanged a quick, amused glance. The tired men took their seats across from Remus and Cal, with Peter following suit. They lazily piled food onto their plates, grumbling small greetings.

"Tired?" Calliope asks teasingly.

"What does it look like?" James replied in an overly sassy tone, while Sirius nodded his head slowly in agreement.

She rolled her eyes at his attitude, and Remus put a comforting hand on her back, gently rubbing up and down.

"They yelled at me when I woke them up," Peter stated with a hint of indignation.

"Awh, Pete," Calliope said sympathetically, while the boy sitting next to her suppressed a small laugh.

"Don't baby him, Cal..." Sirius began, pulling his shirt up to reveal a large red mark across his torso. "He cast Glacius on our blankets. Fucking freezing."

The remaining teachers in the Great Hall regarded Sirius Black's actions with perplexed expressions, unaware of the circumstances that drove his behavior.

James shook his head and fixed a stern gaze on the blonde boy.

A sly smile crept onto Peter's lips as he glanced down at his shoes.

"Peter!" Calliope exclaimed with laughter.

The two lazy boys finished their food, their previous moods now subsided. Everyone prepared to depart for their first-period classes. Calliope was fortunate to have James, Remus, and Sirius in her advanced potions class, with James also joining her for flying lessons. However, she found herself alone in herbology.

They escorted Peter to his class before heading to Slughorn's room. Finding an empty potion station, they promptly took their places in front of each of the four small cauldrons.

"Wait, why are you and James in advanced potions?" Calliope questioned, aware of the boys' lackluster work ethic and doubts about whether they met the requirements for advanced potions. In her mind, there was no way they could have gotten in legitimately—unless they were copying off a certain scarred boy.

"Moony, of course!" Sirius exclaimed with a bright smile, while Remus rolled his eyes.

"Knew it," Cal thought to herself.

"Hey! Don't roll your eyes. We practically bribed you, Moony," James retorted.

Before Remus could retort, Slughorn walked in.

"Hello, class!" he greeted cheerfully, surveying the small group of students around him, no more than twelve in total. "Quite a small gathering today. That's alright though! More opportunity for each of you to shine, yes?"

He received no response, only a small cough from the farthest corner of the room. "Uhm," Slughorn cleared his throat, "Please fetch a book from the closet over there. Be responsible; these will be your books for the rest of the year."

Everyone made their way over to the closet, with everyone except James finding a perfectly suitable book.

James slammed his book down. "Come on! Mine is all torn apart. Switch with me, Pads," he practically demanded.

"Nah, mate. Should've been quicker," Sirius replied casually.

James examined the book further, declaring there was no name, just a literal bite mark on the opening page.

"Today, we will be reviewing simple potions that you've learned in the past and the instructions on how to make them!" Slughorn announces.

Everyone in the room exchanged puzzled glances with each other as Slughorn walked over to his desk, idly sitting in his chair and gazing out the window.

"Does he want us to go through our books?" Calliope asked, directing the question mostly to Remus.

"I'm not sure. He didn't say, did he?" Remus replied, equally unsure.

Before she could answer, Sirius interrupted, shouting towards Slughorn, "Professor! How would you like us to complete today's assignments?"

"Oh, uhm," he cleared his throat once again, "Just skim through your books and discuss your lessons amongst yourselves."

"Hear that? 'Talk amongst yourselves,' he said," James said, smiling.

"About the potions, Prongs," Remus states.

"Hush. That's not what I heard." Sirius adds.

"He's right, Rem. Might want to take a visit to Pomfrey; you're hearing things," Cal joked, agreeing with Sirius and James.

Remus shook his head lightly, taking out his book and skimming through the pages while also listening to the conversation.

"Hey, Jamie?" Calliope starts, staring at a certain redhead who is sitting in the corner alone.

Despite what she had heard the girl's friend say about her, Calliope felt pity seeing her sitting alone. She never wanted anyone to feel lonely. This was the same reason she had decided not to tell the boys about yesterday; Calliope wanted Lily and Alice to be on good terms with them.

"Hm?" James responded, his head resting lazily on his hand.

"How 'bout you go sit with Lily? You know she's all alone over there," Calliope suggested.

A sigh escaped his mouth as James looked back at the girl. "I'm done with Lily," he said firmly.

Gasps escaped from all of them, including Remus, who was flipping through various pages of his book.

"Prongs?! What a waste of so many years, mate!" Sirius practically shouted. "You could've been my wingman, but no. 'Lily Evans' this and 'Lily Evans' that!"

"Sirius, it's just not what I want anymore," James replied, his tone serious.

"James, really?" Calliope asked, gently putting a hand on his arm. "I'm happy for you if you're choosing to move on, but this is all very shocking."

"Yeah, really!" James confirmed. "Besides, this just means I have a chance of being with a woman who truly appreciates me." He looked up from his dusty, broken book and met Calliope's caring eyes. His gaze didn't falter until Sirius pulled on his sleeve.

"Prongs, does that mean you've got your eye on some bird?" Sirius asked excitedly.

"I mean, not necessarily," James admitted, avoiding making eye contact with Cal again.

"Mate, c'mon! We are looking for someone at Cal's party," Sirius urged enthusiastically.

"I want to just focus on myself, Pads," James replied.

"You haven't done that since first year," Remus remarked, rolling his eyes.

"Well, I think that's a good idea, James," Calliope said warmly, giving him a reassuring smile.

"Thank you, darling," James replied with a soft smile, appreciating her support.

Remus and Sirius exchanged a confused look as potions continued swiftly. Soon, it was time for their second period: Flying.

"Yay," Calliope muttered sarcastically to herself.

Next

Prev

[idabbleincrazy]

brief snippet ask game! Spangel always ^^ 💜 surprise kiss / impulsive kiss

Well That's One Way to Do It...

(Rated T for Kissing; 598 words)

He didn't know why he did it. Okay, he knew why he did it, he just didn't know why he did it then, in front of the entire team, with Harmony standing in the doorway and the windows unglazed so the whole crowded lobby would've had a perfect view of the event if they'd been looking in their direction.

But he had been standing there, in his ubiquitous too-tight black ensemble, hedging his way around Harmony's invitation to be her 'plus one' to some new nightclub, sputtering and flustered as he tried to turn her down without letting slip the truth. Because he had asked him to keep their...whatever it was...a secret.

He saw the blonde floundering and frustrated, and his dead heart swelled, along with other parts of him, and a twinge of guilt and empathy pinged his soul. And, okay, there may have been a red-hot flash of jealousy somewhere in the mix as he watched Harmony's hands trying to wander, if he was being completely honest.

And just like that, he was across the board room, pulling Spike away from his grabby-handed secretary and showing her just why the older blonde would be unable to accompany her to this, or any other event as her escort.

Angel turned Spike around and crashed his mouth down upon the other's parted lips, tugging that slim, firm body against his own. Spike gasped into the kiss, but recovered quickly, his arms reaching up to wind around his neck, fingers tangling in his hair as his tongue snuck out to meet Angel's. Sluggish blood pounded in his ears as what he was doing sunk in, but he was unwilling to end the impromptu round of tonsil hockey he'd initiated, regardless of the silence that now reigned over the office.

Spike broke away first, chest heaving with unnecessary panting, his eyes wide and the barest hint of pink tinging his cheeks that even the keenest vampire eyesight had trouble noticing.

"Angel, pet? I thought you said-"

"Fuck what I said, Spike. You're mine, and I'll be damned if I'm just going to sit back and watch some perky brat of a secretary paw all over you."

"Hey! You think I'm perky?"

Angel groaned and turned to Harmony.

"Get out, Harmony. And don't ask Spike out ever again, I don't care how important the function is, he's busy from here on out. I can still stake you."

"Jeez, boss, grouchy or what?" Harmony paled slightly further at the snarl that reverberated in Angel's chest. "Fine. Blondie Bear's off the market, got it. No need to get all growly about it."

Angel watched as she flounced out the door, reluctant to face the others behind him, who had still not uttered a sound.

"Yeah, we're together. What of it?"

Angel looked at Spike and felt his heart go all gooey at the stern look the blonde was casting at the rest of his team. He sighed and turned to face the music.

Fred bounded over to him, and Angel was taken aback at the strength of the slight Texan scientist as she pulled both of them into a bone-grinding hug.

"Oh, I'm so happy for y'all! And happy for me, too! I just won both betting pools, one on who would be the first to break, and the other on how long y'all would take to finally admit it."

The two vampires stared at her in shock as she pulled away and crossed back over to Wes, her palm held out expectantly as he pulled out his wallet.

"You all knew?!"

Sorry these are taking so long to get around to, but hey!, you got a ficlet out of this one instead of just a snippet!!

All Things Spike: @leatafandom

[erudianokabe]

— "I remember what you said. You promised we'd pay for what we did, and you promised pain. So are you here to make me pay?"

— "Yeah. I did say that, didn't I?"

— "Huh?"

— "Let's forget about that. At first, I considered every person on this side of the sea an enemy. But later, I crossed the sea and slept under my enemies' roof…ate the food they offered me… Reiner, I'm the same as you. Some of these people are awful, but some are good. Same where I'm from. Inside the walls, we're all just people. But you were taught that the people in the walls weren't like you. That we were demons. You were just kids who got brainwashed. Hatred was part of your training. As young as you were, how could you have fought that? You couldn't have and will it. It looks like you've already paid."

— "No. You're wrong, Eren! That day... when the titan got Marcel, Annie and Bertolt wanted to end the mission right then, and they would have. But I convinced them to keep going, not just to save my own skin but… because I wanted to become a hero! I wanted to be respected! It's my fault! The truth is your mother was eaten by a titan because of me!

For me, personally, this bit of conversation here was such a turning point— or rather, it was a very good culmination of Eren and Reiner's character.

The way that Eren can outright say the things that's probably been living inside Reiner's head all this time. A major source of his emotional struggles. I’m pretty sure that the knowledge of everyone being just the same as they were began to sink in inside his head at such an early stage. It’s probably even before they joined the cadets. The anime showed Reiner and Bertolt’s reaction after they made that hole in the wall.

Among the crowd you can see the surprise— the horror on their faces. Murder is murder no matter how you slice it, and the same can be said for being a child. No matter how determined or dedicated Reiner was to this grand cause of saving the world, no matter how prepared he felt to kill these devils… words and actions tend to weigh differently once you're on the part where you need to do it. Granted he performed his task of breaching the outer wall, I don’t think anything could have prepared him from the sight of these devils scrambling like humans once death and chaos were added into the equation. As a kid, Reiner’s tremendously honest and kind. He’s not the type that could pull of an act of feigning empathy or sympathy for the enemy. The shock on their faces here? Damn genuine, if you ask me. Although, at this point in time, I don’t think he’d doubt the teachings of Marley about the people from Paradis. However, I do think he'd begin to ask questions, if only for him to make something out of it. Coz I feel like Reiner has a certain defense mechanism to shock… wherein he tries his best to reason and make sense of things, coming to an acceptable and realistic conclusion that he can fathom and work with. In this situation, I feel like he’d be asking, “They’re devils, aren’t they? So… why are they so scared?”

Of course, he can’t keep dwelling on that. Not when they have a mission to do, not when they had goals that needs to be accomplished. Out of all of them, Reiner knows he’s the one who can’t afford to be affected or lose heart because he was the one who forced Annie and Bertolt to continue the mission. He assumed the responsibility of being in charge in place of Marcel. So, he of all people can’t be dissuaded, can’t be half-assed about it, shouldn’t have a change of heart regarding the filth within those walls.

However, as time progresses, as the years come and go, Reiner observes, he learns. He has to, in order to infiltrate and do his mission properly. He has to act in a way that’ll get THEIR enemies’ sympathy so that moving inside the walls become easier. Living out their lives as people from Paradis, sticking to someone else’s borrowed truth (the story the old man told them before he hung himself) as Bertolt narrated in the earliest part of the series… in order to cement their own identities, so no one would become suspicious. Still, I guess nothing could have prepared Reiner for the bonds that he’d eventually forge with the cadets from the 104th battalion either. This was most probably the time wherein him, Annie, and Bertolt actually got the most interaction. Living with them day to day. Doing the same things, eating the same food… and this time, sharing a similar goal— to save humanity, to save the world. In the earlier stages of being a cadet, I’m sure he still has his mind on the warrior’s mission. But I’m also of the opinion that his “fraternizing with the enemy” wasn’t just for its sake anymore. He may say that it’s to get on their good side, but this was probably also the time where he’s actually treated like an actual human being by his fellow peers. Not as a warrior, not as a soldier… but just as a person who gets his fair share of acknowledgment. That some part of him was actually good enough. To think that his so-called devils, the people he’d held in contempt for so long, the evils of this world, would be the people who saw him as well… a person. Shit, he even became someone’s hero.

When Eren asked him how to be like Mikasa and him? I’m sure we all know that Reiner saw himself for a moment in this strong-willed but desperate boy who just wanted to make a change before he ended up dying…because that’s how he felt when he was in Marley. When he was the weakest of them all. When he was desperately running after a dream— only to be denied, so he had to go after the next. “Just do what you have to. Keep moving forward. That’s all we can do.” While these were real words of advice that he had for Eren, I firmly believe that this is a reminder for himself too. That he has to keep moving forward. A creed he has lived by since day one, because for someone like him who knew what it was like to be the worst at everything, doing what you can and moving forward was the only real way to get results. That’s what he’s done, and that’s what he’ll do… regardless of whatever it was that he believes to be right… which of course, blurs somewhere along the way. Something further reinforced by Marco’s death— at the hands of Reiner’s own decision making. One which we also know that his guilt and conscience couldn’t handle. SO. If the line was already blurring somewhere along the way, Marco’s death, for me, was the trigger of him solidly compartmentalizing who he is as a warrior and who he is as a soldier. At this particular junction, this was the only way for him to function properly. Where he loses himself in one persona, and then switches when either the need arises or when he is reminded that he’s actually a warrior.

Coz like, at some point, I really believe that Reiner would have wanted to just be a soldier. To be with these people who gave him the validation and respect that he never really got back in Marley, but also to protect the friends that he’s made along the way. I think this want had been strong enough at one point. Specifically, when he saved Connie. Him remembering Marcel’s deeds; him having incorporated who Marcel was in his soldier persona makes it even stronger. Because at the end of the day, Reiner just wants to save his comrades, his friends. I don’t think this has ever changed. From the time he apologized to Annie and Bertolt… promising that he’d be the warrior he was meant to be, up to this point in time. He’s got their backs. Which is why I think that in Reiner’s character development, the conversation between Connie and Bertolt about Reiner being so self-sacrificing is important. Because this was the point where Bertolt was reminding Reiner of who he really is only for Reiner to shut it out completely, his head not even beginning to register what the hell a warrior was or what it even meant.

But again, the reality of the situation rears its ugly head. The trigger of which, again for me, are two things. One, was Eren mentioning that Bert and Reiner were driven far away from their hometown. If you go to episode six of Season 2, you’ll notice how his reaction drastically changes. Because before Eren mentions it, Reiner was in the moment of being a soldier. Where all that registers to him was the near-death experiences he had with titans. Again, it’s not as if he was lying. These were the truths of his experiences regardless of what the reason behind his actions were. At this time, he doesn't remember telling Annie Eren’s location, most likely doesn’t even register Annie as the female titan. He’s not trying to deceive anyone; he was just reliving the trauma of having almost died. So much that he even wanted Armin to validate the prior situation. The second one was when Bertolt reacted to what Eren said after seeing Reiner’s expression. Like, bam. Bertolt sees the opportunity to once again pull Reiner out from the deep end by reminding him of home. Which works. However, not in the way that he himself expected.

I don’t have enough Bertolt in me to interpret his words of “Truer words were never spoken. Home! Let’s go! We’ve been here long enough. Compared to everything else we’ve had to go through; the rest is easy.” But I’m sure as hell Bertolt didn’t mean for Reiner to just so casually reveal the truth to Eren like that. Maybe it was more a nod to ‘Let’s escape while we have the chance. Let’s go back with what we know. We've done enough. If we get punished, I'm sure we can take it.’ But not Reiner’s “I’m the Armored Titan. He’s the Colossal.” spiel.

After all that’s happened, what they’ve been through. Reiner knew that Bertolt was right. Everything moving forward would be easier. So, for a while, Reiner just gave in. He wants to go home, just like anyone else. Wants the mission he forced on his fellow Warriors to finally come to an end. Everyone’s tired of all the fighting. All the death. Reiner now has a better understanding of the people of Paradis whether he wants to acknowledge it or not. He can bargain. In a way, he sees a kindred spirit in Eren. So, he took the chance of telling him the truth. See, knowing what he knows now, I am a firm believer that a chunk of who he is as a person just wants to avoid killing anyone else. Because he knows that there were no devils behind these walls, only people. Like him. Like Bertolt, like Annie. Like those they’ve left behind and were waiting for them in Marley. He just wants to avoid a fight at all costs, even if it meant spilling the beans. Eren, in part, wants the same thing. To prevent any more people from dying, to save as many as he possibly can. So, to Reiner, he thought that maybe Eren would understand if he explained the situation. That him going with them was the optimal way to avoid a major crisis. The best solution anyone could ever ask for. Which… of course, didn’t go exactly as planned. Because as Eren mentioned, “What’d you expect me to do? Say yes, let myself be kidnapped just coz you asked politely?” things don't always go well when you ask politely.

AND YOU REALLY SEE the look on Reiner’s face here. For me, this is when he snaps back to reality, and not just any reality. He snaps back to the entirety of the situation, of how everything that they’ve known wasn’t all that it was cut out to be. The realization that they weren’t fighting devils, but they were fighting people just like them. That he can no longer really consider himself a hero, because heroes dont murder innocent people. How he no longer knows what’s right from wrong, but despite knowing all that, he has to go back to his roots, to his duty as a warrior. So, you know… for the first time in a long while, we get to see Reiner for who he actually is. Not Reiner as a Soldier, not Reiner as Warrior… but the Reiner who always has to make a choice and choose the path that he needs to stick by due to the realizations he brings himself to accept, by force or otherwise. And man, when he says that he’s choosing the road that leads to the bitter end. It’s not even about coming back as a hero anymore, he really just wants it to be over. Because that's the only way for it to be over, he’ll accept what he’s done; take responsibility, pay for it. Because again, that’s all he can really do— accept the outcome no matter how painful it is and move forward.

And then the switch from warrior to soldier happens again without warning when they were taking a rest after capturing Eren and Ymir. God. The way that they showed his internal struggle here, from having been reminded that he’s not a soldier to being reminded of Marco’s death, to Ymir and Eren just rubbing salt to the wound of his sins. Out of all of them, he gets it. It’s not as if he wants to be a victim or chooses to be one, it’s just that… he actually is a victim whether he wanted to be or not— but at the same time, it’s not as if he’s trying to run away from the murder, from the death, from the sins. He’s trying his best to resolve it within himself. But it just isn’t easy. Because he’s never lied about how he felt. Because somewhere along the way, he understood what Paradis really was. What those devils really were. So, when Eren just kept throwing his rage at him, he loses it. Telling him outright that he’s aware that they were, at this point, murderers. And that he didn’t need to be constantly reminded of it. Reiner understands that no amount of apology can fix the damage that they— that he had caused the day they breached Wall Maria. I think what hurts Reiner the most in this entire exchange was Eren saying that they were not human, not one of them, never been. Again, if there’s someone here who doesn’t need this constant reminder, it’s Reiner. Only this time, he’s faced with someone who was just like him once. Three years ago, Reiner would have shared the same sentiment, without a doubt. But now? He knows the truth, that they were, indeed the same. Only this time, there was no way to prove it because to the rest of Paradis, they were the monsters, the bad guys, the devils.

The irony is though, when Reiner asked, “want us to feel bad, want us to take the blame”, four years after, he does just this: Feel bad while taking the blame for everything that has happened back on the island. One helluva foreshadowing for our broken man.

When Eren mentions that Reiner already paid the price, Eren now understands where the former was coming from. Based on how he appeared, how he carried himself, pretty sure Eren more than anyone, understands what Reiner had and was still going through. Why Eren himself can just drop the whole revenge agenda. But Reiner can’t. Deep down, somewhere, he’s always wanted this. Always waited for this chance. Wanting for his wrongs to be brought up, for him to get the punishment that he deserved because his guilt couldn’t take it. Which is why he was doing everything, groveling even, to plead his case… his sins to Eren. Reiner doesn't want to be forgiven, understands that he can’t be, doesn’t even expect anyone to do that for him. Which is why it came as a shock when Eren just dropped it. Among everyone, Reiner expected Eren to be the one to deliver that justice, the pain the execution he deserved. But that never came, and it never will. I do think that in Eren's point of view, seeing Reiner like this, he's convinced that Reiner was suffering enough, pained enough. And for someone who had no choice in the matter at the time, didn't know any better, what he was going through now was already comparable to death; maybe even worse.

I think it’s pretty brilliant how Eren literally just reiterates what Reiner airs out four years ago, of them being the same. Of how Reiner and the others were just kids, and how they didn’t know a damn thing. Knew that hatred was part of the training, that children so young couldn’t have known better, couldn’t have willed it. And Reiner despite knowing the truth denies those very words in order to validate his crimes and his self-loathing. Of how he doesn’t want to accept that a murderer like him can just be let off the hook that easy. Even trying to appeal that it was because of him that Carla got eaten in order to make Eren change his mind. But he won’t. Not when Eren understands the truth that he didn’t four years ago. Not when Eren understands what he has to do in order to achieve his own goal. Not when Eren's future actions would be far worse than what Reiner had done all those years ago.

In a way they were just two kids trying to save the world. One simply grew up fighting a war he never should have fought and trying his best to push forward despite being someone who was unable to let go of the past— despite of the mistakes that have been made along the way. While the other never really changed, simply accepting the truth, unable to let go of the future that'd eventually bring about the freedom that everybody sought after.

[starkslove101]

CHAPTER 8: "This Is everything I never wanted"

Ransom.

"Are you okay?" Tony asked. "Pretty comfortable" I laughed. In 6 hours, they build a room that is supposed to keep me safe. Not to mention the outside world. Tony called Maya. Luckily she got here within the hour. "We need some blood samples from you" I just nodded. Tony typed in the code and walked in.

I rolled up my sleeve as he sat down in front of me. He disinfected my arm and put in the needle. "So tell me are you and Steve dating?" he asked. I smiled sheepishly. "We're not exactly dating, I don't know what we are," I said. "But you slept with him?" he whispered. I swear for a second I could hear the room go silent when he asked that.

I knew he'd ask that question. I sighed. "I don't see why I have to talk to you about my sex life" I laughed, shifting uncomfortably. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to intrude or anything I'm just looking out for you" I broke eye contact with him when he pulled out the needle. "Thanks" I placed my hand covering my arm with a cotton ball to stop the blood. "I'm just seeing where this leads me" Tony gave me a soft smile. "I hope it works out for you, you deserve to be happy" he squeezed my hands. "I'll be happy when I figure out what this all is," I said.

I laid down on the bed. "If you need anything tell JARVIS, and we'll make sure you'll get it" I smiled and nodded. Tony left to do whatever he had to do. "Wow, living like a queen" Maya chimed. "Must be a big change from the 40's" Maya stood there looking down at me. The feeling of impending doom took over me. Make it a trauma response. This sounded all too familiar.

I decided to push it down. I couldn't let this get to me. "I have always lived comfortably ma'am," I said. "It's easy when you go from one Stark to another" she spits. Damn what's her problem, I thought. I raised my eyebrows. "Jealous much?" I started to feel amused. As she heard the doors open, she ran to her desk.

Steve walked in, multiple bags in his hands. "Hey, I went to your apartment and bought back some of your stuff like books and clothes and blankets" My heart was beating so fast when I saw him. His eyes softened and he smiled so brightly. He set down the stuff in front of me. Carrying All of this stuff would've made me wheeze. "I'll ask Stark to open the door" he was soo giddy, almost, jumping up and down.

"I hope they find something soon" Steve stood so close to the glass it fogged. "I want you here with me we have a lot to catch up on" Tears sprung from my eyes. "Yeah, we do" laying my hand on the glass. We just kept looking into each other eyes like a couple of teenagers who were head over heels for each other.

"Oh, God please don't kiss the glass it's a hassle to clean," Tony remarked. We both blushed. "Sorry," I stepped back. I could see Tony grin. Steve turned around. "I brought some stuff for Ransom," he said. "Oh, how romantic" Tony laughed. I just sat down "Maya, how's the search going?" Steve asked. I looked up scared to say anything. Maya looked up with a smile. "You might just be the key to solving the common cold" she sounded like a kid in a candy store.

The one sentence sounded so familiar. "You know decades ago Howard said something like that too '' Steve noted. He turned to me trying to bring back the memory. "Yeah, I know I was there. '' I laughed.

1945.

"I can't believe it worked" Howard walked towards me and hugged me. His words sounded sad. "I'm sorry about Erskine" I caressed his arm. Howard looked away. I was looking to change the conversation. "Did they find Rogers yet?" I just asked. Steve ran off after the person who shot Erskine.

"It's no use to have a super soldier if he doesn't return" Peggy's voice was filled with worry. "He's going to be okay. '' I tried to reassure her. By this point, I was running out of empathy. This whole day was chaotic.

Right then, the door flew open as Steve walked in. A flood of relief went over the entire room. Steve was completely drenched. "Damn, you look like hell," I said. Peggy ran up to him with a blanket. Steve laughed at my remark. "I feel rather relaxed" he sat down with a grunt. I laughed silently. "I like this guy" I whispered to Howard. In turn, he grinned. "Shoot your shot" I shook my head. "I think Peggy will kill me" he laughed. "Oh she's nice" I turned my attention to Steve and Peggy.

He was now sitting on a tank top. A nurse was taking his blood. Someone grabbed Howard and Peggy's attention, so they had to walk out. Howard looked at me so I would distract Steve. I took a high chair and sat next to him. "Hi, I'm Ransom" I stuck out my hand and he shook it. "Steve Rogers" he smiled as he glanced up at me.

"How does it feel?" I asked. The nurse gave him something to clean his blood. She walked off with about 12 vials of blood. "Weird" he shifted uncomfortably. "I'm sorry I don't mean to make you uncomfortable" I apologized. He shook his head as he answered my question. "I just ran through New York barefoot in a shirt without an asthma attack" He chuckled. I gave him an understanding look. "Yeah, I don't run so I can't relate" he laughed.

God, he's gorgeous, I thought to myself. I tried to shake it off by telling myself I had a boyfriend. But it wasn't working. Damn, you're superficial, Ransom. My thoughts were interrupted as Peggy and Howard walked in again. I stood up from my chair quickly. I made my way back next to Howard. The Sargeant walked in.

Steve stood up, his shirt was still soaking wet. The blanket fell off his shoulders. "I'm reporting for duty sir" he straightened his shoulders and saluted. "We can't let you go now that the scientists are dead you're the last chance we got," he said. "Not to mention you cost us a bunch of money" Steve tightened his jaw. "But-" he was interrupted. "That's an order Rogers" With that he left the room.

"I can't just sit here and do nothing," Steve said as he plopped down again. We locked eyes. I could do nothing but just nod understandingly. "I'm sorry pal but he's right", Howard said, adding salt to the wound. "You are the key, your blood might be the cure to the common cold" I looked away.

2011.

Tony was standing behind Maya also looking at the screen. Tony looked amazed. "This is amazing" I looked at Steve but he seemed as clueless as I was. "It's like you have two bodies I can't explain it" She leaned her head on her hand and looked at the screen trying to figure it out.

"Your abilities are similar to those of the Extremis serum Created by AIM, but we've found that they result from a unique genetic mutation."I raised an eyebrow. "A mutation? What kind of mutation?"

Maya pulled up a holographic display of my DNA sequence. "We've identified a specific set of genes in your DNA that are responsible for your enhanced abilities. These genes are unique to you, and we believe they were activated by a rare combination of environmental factors, such as exposure to certain chemicals and radiation." I leaned forward to get a better look at the display. "So, what do these genes do, exactly?"

Maya tapped a few buttons, and the display zoomed in on a specific section of my DNA. "These genes are responsible for producing a nanobot-like structure that we call the 'enhancement matrix.' This matrix is made up of tiny machines that can repair your cells at a rapid rate, enhance your physical abilities, and even connect you to technology." My eyes widened. "That's incredible. So, I'm like a walking machine?" I felt amazed and confused at the same time. How could they have had access to nanotech in the 20th century?

Maya nodded. "In a way, yes. But don't forget that you're still human. Your body can only handle so much before it reaches its limits. You must learn how to control your powers and use them responsibly." She sounded so sweet as opposed to a few hours ago when she sounded so spiteful and jealous. I nodded. "I understand. So, what's next? What do we do with this information?"

Maya smiled. "Well, now that we understand how your genetic code works, we can start developing new treatments and technologies that could help enhance your abilities even further. The possibilities are endless." After that revelation, Maya left. She made sure she left her phone number and told Tony to contact her if they had questions or need needing help.

Tony still kept looking at the screen, still flabbergasted. Steve waved his hand in front of his face. "Earth to Tony" He looked away from the screen to me. "So I can't get rid of it?" I asked disappointed. "I fear not," Tony said with an apologetic look. I fell on the bed again.

Steve was gonna step forward to comfort me. I stopped him. "Can you all just get out" I requested. A bit harshly. Both of them were a bit taken aback. Tony was the first one to recover and lead Steve to the door. "Of course take your time," Tony said. Steve protested at first but Tony wasn't having it. "C'mon Rogers" Hesitantly he followed.

Once they left, I felt tired. It was like I had been away for days at a time. All of this only happened this morning. I had no idea how late it was. How long had I been here? "JARVIS?" It came out as a whisper. "Yes?" he whispered back. "What time is it?" "8:30 PM Ma'am" I laid down. Hours passed when I finally fell asleep. Dreaming.

My heart was beating fast. "Wow, looking good" a voice beamed out of nowhere. I opened my eyes, I immediately closed them with the bright light shining around me. As my eyes finally adjusted I sat up. I could finally place a face to the voice.

"Killian?" I said surprised. "What are you doing here?" I stood up and walked up to the glass. He stood there in his grey suit his hair combed back into a ponytail. It was greasy from all the gell that was in it. "I don't know, it's your conscious" he mocked. I looked away. "It's a shame though" I tilted my head. "What is?" he raised an eyebrow. "So much power locked into a glass box" he hit the glass making me jump back.

"Everyone is telling me how extraordinary these powers are but I don't know what they are" Killian laughed, sending shivers down my spine. "Oh, yes you do" His eyes started glowing. He touched the command panel, frying it. The door opened. "C'mon out" I was hesitant at first but after much insisting I joined him. "What are we doing?" My voice echoed. I know this was a dream but I couldn't wake up. I was stuck. "What do you want from me?" Killian smiled, more like smirked.

This is dangerous, I thought to myself. "Stop panicking" he sighed. I tilted my head to the side as he answered my question I never said out loud. "Again, your subconscious" I rolled my eyes. "I'm not sure you can help me," I said. He laughed again. "Silly you, I'm not here to help you" he placed his hands on my shoulders. "Trust yourself" I took a deep breath.

The room around me changed. As I opened my eyes I was standing in my childhood bedroom. "Oh, how retro" I looked to the side. "Well, it is the 1920's" I walked through the living room. I stopped when I heard crying from my old bedroom.

As I looked to my left and a woman was holding a baby appeared. I recognized her but I couldn't tell her name. "Oh, hush baby mommy's here" a thick Arabic accent came through. She looked so soft and delicate. It finally clicked. "Mama" tears sprung from my eyes. I reached out my hand to touch her but Killian stopped me.

"Don't bother" I let down my arm. "You have to explain to me though, I thought your mother died during childbirth" I wish I could answer that. Killian looked at me and shrugged. The room changed again. This time I was at a cemetery. "Oh there she is" My father and I were standing in front of my mom's grave.

I watched with tears streaming down my face. "I'm sorry" Killian chimed rather amused. "Let me wake up" he shook his head. "No, we're not done yet" he grabbed my shoulder and we arrived in the '30s.

Now I was looking at my younger self. It was the evening I met Howard for the first time. I was trying to find the right dress to wear so I could cover all of my bruises and scars. "Your mother is dead and your father abuses you, what a sad life" Killian was still mocking me. "Mock all you want but it wasn't all that bad" he raised his eyebrows, clearly surprised. "Really?" He chuckled. "It's the great depression and war is on the brink of breaking out you're telling me you're happy?" I looked down with a smile. Happy was a loaded word.

"I wasn't alone" I simply said. The day I met Howard all my problems disappeared. The abuse stopped. I found some stability in my life. And I know Howard Stark and stability weren't necessary words I'd put together but it just happened.

This time it was my turn to move places. We found ourselves in the 1940s. 1947 to be specific. There I was in my wedding dress. In front of the altar with Jack. "Do you take Jack Thompson to be your husband 'till death do you part?" The reverend asked. I smiled a bright smile. "I do" my voice was soft and innocent. "Do you take Ransom Amina Evans to be your wife 'till death do you part" Jack smiled. "I do" his eyes were shining. "You may now kiss the bride" Jack had the most blinding smile. I fell into his grip as he kissed me. People around me stood up clapping and shouting.

As we walked out of the church all of my dearest friends and family were behind me. I walked out with my chest filled with joy. For a moment I forgot all of my pain, but Killian pulled me back. "oh, I thought we were going through your trauma" he quips. I rolled my eyes. "The good usually comes with the bad" Finally we flashed to the day I miscarried.

I was sitting on the hospital bed, crying. "How far along were you?" I locked eyes with Killian. "8 months" My voice was shaking. This time he didn't give me a sly remark. He seemed sad. "Well, I'm sorry" I looked down. "What's her name?" a smile appeared on my face. I pained one. "Alia" her name came with a sigh. 

I think I was finally getting to understand why I was making this field trip down memory lane. I was looking for the day my powers woke up. I didn't have to look back very far to remember. I was teleported to that day in Tony's office where I confronted Obediah Stane.

He was beating the hell out of me. I had no strength to defend myself anymore. All I could remember was the stinging pain but at the same time, my face and body were going numb. It turned into a burning sensation. "Alright now we're going somewhere" Killian smiled brightly clapping his hands.

My cheeks and eyes changed color. Panic spread across Obediah's face. I was about to explode and probably hurt a lot of people. I was reaching my limit and as I was about to let go. Lucky for me Tony stepped in and blasted him through the room.

Killian turned to me—a proud look on his face. "Good girl" I looked away. "They're on the surface and it's proof you can control it" he took me by the shoulders again and pushed me. "It's time to wake up"

I opened my eyes and sat up in one smooth movement. "Ransom?" Steve's voice sounded worried. "Open the door," I said sternly. Steve and Tony were frozen in their place. As I started bouncing on the glass, Tony finally moved. He typed in the code and the door opened.

Steve stepped in front of Tony trying to protect him with his shield. I stood in front of them. "Don't worry I'm not gonna hurt you" I moved my neck and my powers disappeared again. They both looked at me hesitantly. "It's okay, I'm not gonna hurt you" I stuck out my hand. Tears were streaming down my face.

This was a moment where I was supposed to feel powerful and happy. But I wasn't. The only thing I could think of was the number of people I could hurt with this much power. Steve's stern gaze softened as he lowered his shield. But Tony was the first one to step from behind him. "We're here to help" Tony reassured me. Steve agreed. He dropped his shield and took a few steps forward, pulling me into his arms.

Tony joined and we stood there in a group hug. "This is everything I never wanted" I cried. "We know, but we care about you, we're here to help," Steve said. "You're gonna be okay." Tony tried reassuring me.

I was hoping that they were telling the truth. 

Next Part

[marvelandponder]

I’ve been skimming through both the chapters & author commentary as you post them, & it’s put me in a weird position…

You know the sensation where you come up with an idea for something completely independent of outside input, only to find out that someone else has come up with the same idea or a similar one & managed to successfully execute it before you did? I’m going through that sensation currently, as many others are evident by previous asks & comments directly on the story; But while others are feeling validated, it leaves me discouraged. Even though the ideas I independently came up with were never intended to compete with your ideas & their execution, or were intended to serve as loving tributes to the works of other creators, I currently feel as if any attempts to execute my own would inevitably result in direct comparison & subsequent bad faith accusations of being intentionally derivative out of uninspired laziness…

I say this with absolutely no offense intended towards you nor your co-writer/illustrator; Rather, I’m asking as a fellow aspiring content creator. Even with the understanding that nothing is truly original & every creation is in some way intentionally or unintentionally derivative, where does one find both the drive to execute their personal vision in spite of its intentional & unintentional similarities to other preexisting works, & the confidence that others will celebrate your execution both on its own merits & when compared to preexisting works?

First of all: :hugs: Also, apologies in advice. I'm a rambler.

The best answer to this that I've found so far is that what makes art art is that it's human.

We leave fingerprints behind that other people recognize as their own. Without those, what would they have to latch onto?

Empathy for the Devil is a completely different story than the real life events I was processing at the time. I never struggled with whether or not to embrace therapy (I was a psych major)! I never broke down in front of everyone the way Solstice does. But I was processing grief. I was grappling with a newfound terror of losing my new best friends, because I'd lost an old one.

There's a lot of private details I'll skip, but that's important context.

Because here's the thing: no matter how similar our ideas, or even if they were identical, you're gonna do it different than me.

Empathy for the Devil is the most me version of this story I could tell, and that's why it was so fun, gave me so much passion and drive to see it through to the end. And it was the same for Bevin with her contributions!

You came up with this idea yourself. Point blank period. Something about it appealed to you on a personal level, whether it's your tastes, your experience, your philosophical beliefs, or just your heart. Maybe all of it! But it's you. And as long as it's you, you'll be so damn proud.

It's okay to let yourself feel whatever you feel. I have a creative best friends, and we respect each other so much when one of us admits to being envious or spiteful or scared that no one will like our way of doing things. We're human.

So it's not being devoid of any self-doubt.

Instead, like you said, it's about leaning in despite all that. And I can't speak to what will work exactly for you, but what helped most for me was two-fold:

Support - Naturally, you well know by now I had Bevin's full support and she had mine. Getting excited together and supporting each other when things got hard, that was invaluable! We also have our private fears about what other people will or won't think, and it helps so much to have someone to talk to about that

But it wasn't just Bevin. Our other best friend couldn't read this story for private reasons. Like just completely couldn't. But she supported me as a fellow writer and as a person, gave me the space to talk, and really listened. And I did the same for her. She taught me that everything is a remix (highly recommend this series to you if you haven't seen it). Finding even one person who will listen to you talk even if they don't read a word of your writing keeps the spark alive.

Not everyone's in a place in their life to have that. God knows I wasn't.

No matter what, get excited. Fall in love with the ideas as you develop them out, get stoked out of your mind about the story you want to tell, and keep that excitement going. Protect it. Even when it's hard and you don't know if you have the skill or wherewithal to see it through.

It's really tough to stay removed from what audiences might think about your writing - but, I'd say, not as much if you're not in the same world. Escape into telling this story your way, and you'll have made an experience for yourself that no one else can touch

I hope that answers your question. And if not, just know I'll knock anyone's teeth out personally who tries to discourage you.