#but coding is genuine real magic

[megalunalexi-aesthetic]

Hmm.....

Gods, posts like these really make me want to make my own AI (I'm an artist and amateur coder, bear with me)

The thing that makes me saddest is that I think AI could be really fun and creative and collaborative. It can also absolutely be art and take effort, in that the coder creates it with effort and skill.

Imagine an AI which had an attached gallery to every image, so you can go see what it referenced. Imagine everything in it - art, photos, the descriptions - was all donated voluntarily, with credit every time it made something. Imagine if it was allowed to create the weird shapes AI is prone to, rather than being shoved closer and closer to realism.

If it stays small, then it makes no impact, completely harmless. If it gets bigger, it would potentially introduce people to new artists, combine things which never would have been combined by a human, and genuinely make art a human is incapable of making (I fucking ADORED the weird shit the early AIs were coming up with!!)

The saddest thing about AI is that it COULD have been actually cool, it WAS cool for a long time (VQGAN+clip, anyone?), and like everything else capitalism ruined it.

It doesn't HAVE to be nothing, it's just had the soul sucked out like everything else seems to.

ai generated images make me increasingly sad and tired the more i see them in more and more casual contexts. i dont know how to explain, but it just fills the world with a bunch of nothing. no matter how visually stunning the pictures might be, there's nothing behind it for me. no dedication, no emotions, no feelings, no hard work or creativity, nothing i can truly think about, admire or enjoy. i dont think thats how art is supposed to be

[salemlunaa]

｡o○ it’s just meditation ○o｡

you’re not getting what you want because you don’t understand that

no, it’s not magic. no, it hasn’t been unheard of before the days of social media. no, it’s not role play. no, millions of people, some of which don’t even have social media, aren’t coming together to lie. no you’re not a loser because you haven’t shifted yet, you have time. no, you’re not going anywhere. no, your soul isn’t lifting to the higher place of power. no, it’s not a dark place where a genie is in the corner doing your bidding.

it’s just meditation

its a meditative state that you induce: a state of consciousness you reach through meditation. you are just setting intention’s without the barrier of the 3d, that’s it, you aren’t conjuring any thing up with magic, you are setting intention. And when you leave this state of pure consciousness those intentions will come into fruition, and stay that way.

Let’s say your life is a game, and in this game you have a certain body and you want a new one, you want your avatar to change. You’re not conjuring up a new body out of nowhere, you go to the game’s coding space and you moderate things, you set an intention for it to come out in the game. You aren’t leaving the game, you aren’t going to a whole new computer, you aren’t making a new body out of thin air, you’re just setting intention, in this state of total control.

And the only, quite literally the only reason that some of you can’t wrap your heads around how easy it is to induce this is because of society, that’s the only reason, for so long you get told that you must work for all you have and that life isn’t fair and that if something is illogical (by society’s measure) it isn’t real, and i say by society’s measures because inducing a state of consciousness with meditation can be backed up by logic so quickly but people hear the word “manifestation” and decide to write it all off as a joke or unreal.

But let me tell you that resistance, created by what you’ve been taught is the only reason you’re finding it hard, not because the void works for everyone else but you. Not because you keep falling asleep, not because you “just can’t”, it’s because of resistance.

you could have everything you’ve ever dreamt of right now because a meditative state of pure consciousness is all it is, and it’s so easy to induce.

If you go into it with this mindset that you need to put in effort, you will sit there for 20 minutes with your “instant method” wondering why you’re “trying so hard” (immediately no) and nothing is happening. If you go into it with a mindset that when you shift consciousness you get all these symptoms and it’s this whole extravaganza where your soul lifts out of your body, you’re going to be sitting after the 30th minute repeating the same tired affirmations wondering why you just can’t do it.

you don’t need effort, breathe, affirm “I AM” or daydream, or just focus on the darkness of your eyelids and you’re good to go. you’re doing everything right, don’t double check, why would you need to? you’re a god and you’re doing everything right in your reality.

your mind is genuinely an amazing place that makes all these things possible, it’s sounds too good to be true for you and that’s where you go wrong. you don’t have to spend weeks reprogramming your views on pure consciousness, just trust that you are that powerful and you can do those things. because you can, whether you like it or not your mind just is that powerful. No one’s mind is more powerful than someone else’s just because they managed to induce pure consciousness earlier. Your mind is just insanely powerful, that isn’t up for speculation or debunking, it’s just fact.

remember there’s no trial and error for a god, you just do and you just be. you succeed at everything,

go in there with that confidence.

🩰🍵 it’s nothing special, when you get that, you’re good to go.

[nianeyemystic]

💕Lovergirl(boy) Astro Observations💕

These will be aspects, and placements that I've noticed in natal charts. I loooooove a real romantic, someone who yearns, is devoted & deeply feels love in all things.

Venus in Pisces 🥰

Venus in its exaltation is dreamy, romantic, and selfless in love. W this placement, you will embody unconditional love and often romanticism, and idealize your partners. The women I've seen with Venus in Pisces are literally lovers personified. They will find anyway possible to love you downnnn!

Moon in Libra💋

Libra , mm mm mm! Everyone loves a libra. With the moon here you have loves for harmony, balance, and partnership. The Moon here makes someone emotionally fulfilled by being in a loving relationship. You could feel like you're always longing for love, or wanting to be love by somebody.

Venus in the 7th House😘

The love of my life has this placement. Very ideal romantic person to be in love w . Courtship, super sweet gestures, omg & soooo charming. A real flirt too. Venus loves being in the house of partnerships,7H. Having this placement will indicates someone deeply committed to love and romantic connections, prioritizing their partner's happiness.

Neptune in the 5th House💛

This placement gives meeeee, an idealistic and almost cinematic approach to romance. Like think Movie scene, the most romantic movie you've ever seen type of romance. you might fall in love with the idea of love itself. a real lover girl/boy if you will.

Sun or Moon Conjunct Venus❤️‍🔥

Whewwww ! ✨ This aspect is almost always a loving, charming, and affectionate person. My man has this one in Capricorn & it’s so 😍🥺 he literally just loves to be so genuine & cute all the time. I melt all day long being w him. Somebody who is just all around a sweetheart, and can charm the socks off of you lol. They thrive in relationships and tend to attract love easily.

Venus in Cancer💌

Another fav of mine. This placement clearly is a nurturing, protective lover. Being in cancer, Venus will seeks emotional security and closeness in relationships. They adore being needed by their partner. Like I want to be needed by you, is a love language.

Juno in the 1st or 7th House💜

Made to be a wife, wet wife coded energy. Or husband energy. Since Juno, the asteroid of commitment and marriage, in these houses suggests someone who naturally prioritizes long-term partnerships.

Venus Trine Neptune 💞

This aspect is so damn cute to me. It creates a hopeless romantic who views love as magical and transcendent. I loveee seeing this in charts. They’re likely to idealize their partners and put their all into relationships. All or nothing type lovers.

Moon in Taurus💖

The Moon is exalted in Taurus, these natives who seeks stability, sensuality, and comfort in love. They're devoted and loyal to their partner. Grounded lover girls/boys.

Venus Conjunct Mars❤️‍🔥

Last but not least, my fav one. I have this natally & when I say love is alllll I think about. I mean it. I just love love in a sense that consumes me, it drips down my aura. You can quite literally squeeze love from outta me. Such a passionate aspect that combines love and desire. someone who puts their heart and soul into their romantic pursuits. They often have an irresistible charm and thrive on intimacy.

Do you have any of these ? What does love do to you?

@nianeyemystic

[hedwig221b]

Hi! May I ask for stereo fic recs? I am looking for same, where derek doesn't know stiles knows about werewolfs and supernatural world (can be magical or not) and starts dateing him anyway. Thanks a lot!

Hello! Okay, full transparency: I read the ask wrong and found you the reverse trope, where Stiles doesn't know about werewolves, but Derek dates him anyway... Only after the fact did I realize my mistake, then went to search for the fics, and didn't find any... So, if anyone knows any of them, please, rec them in the replies or reblogs!

I'll post these ones anyway, maybe you'll forgive me 😭

This I Can Handle by stileskolpath

"Stiles had to admit, there was something off about his boyfriend. Derek was quiet, brooding, and built like a greek god. Seriously, Stiles questioned every dating choice he had ever made just by simply watching his shirt ride up his back, revealing a tract of flawless skin, pulled taut over ridges of muscle. It made Stiles want." aka that time when Stiles didn't know that Derek was a werewolf and was angsty about it.

I Was Enchanted (To Meet You) by linksofmemories_archive

Stiles turned around, grabbing a tiny pretzel sandwich before looking back to the floor, and locking eyes with someone across the room. This was fine. Things like this happened. You locked eyes and then you quickly looked away and pretended that the other person didn’t exist. Except Stubble McDreamy with the gorgeous green eyes wasn’t looking away and Stiles couldn’t bring himself to look away either.

Did I mention (that I'm in love with you) by dearericbittle (dutchmoxie)

Stiles is pretty sure that Derek Hale hates him, judging by the way he disappears from the room the second Stiles enters. Derek is pretty sure that the entire world knows about his crush on Stiles Stilinski, and that’s why he has to avoid him. For once the werewolf thing isn’t even his biggest secret.

Returning the Favor by aurevell

When Derek peers down into the dark, he finds the worst thing imaginable: his boyfriend, scaling the side of the house like some deranged cat burglar. "What are you doing here?" Derek hisses. Stiles pays a nighttime visit to his boyfriend in secret, or so he thinks. Unfortunately, the Hale family has keener ears than he realizes.

(Mates Are) Magical Bullshit by TheRealDanniX

Derek hasn’t felt his wolf in years. Stiles doesn’t know werewolves are real. Mates are a thing and the Hales are super protective of their Stiles.

Hide by dr_girlfriend

Stiles has been rejected so many times that it doesn't really surprise him when it happens again. Hurts, yeah, because dammit — he'd thought Derek was the one. Heartbreak sucks, and he's not so sure he's going to get over it this time.

Dress code violation by Marishna

Derek wanted to let his head fall back, close his eyes, and drift off into an easy, brain-meltingly amazing orgasm. But Stiles was knelt between his spread legs and was slurping on his cock, making the most indecent noises with his mouth as he sucked and rolled the head of Derek's dick like a lollipop. Derek couldn't look away even if he wanted to.

Bait by CelestialVoid

Stiles is kidnapped as bait for Derek, but when Derek comes to save his boyfriend, he reveals something—something big.

A Treatise on the Importance of Not Ignoring Your Date by LadySlytherin

A tumblr-post-based fic, wherein Stiles and Derek have a meet-cute at a baseball game. Involves a kiss-cam, Stiles' date being an ass, and a hot stranger. Basically, Peter doesn't survive the fire so Laura and Derek never go back to Beacon Hills, Scott's never bitten, Stiles doesn't know about the supernatural, and he goes to NY for college. Go, Mets!

and one of mine,

Wait For Me

"Stiles, we know about your Spark,” Scott looked at Stiles with desperate eyes, trying to convey something. “He is the Werewolf who's been chasing you. You must run. We’ll help you…” Stiles stared at his friend, genuinely concerned for his sanity, because the nonsense he was sputtering was really fucking confusing.

Other fic recs: angsty fics + pt2 + pt3 | possessive Derek | historical AU | baby/mpreg | outsider POV | smut | mafia | hurt/comfort | magical!Stiles | Stiles gets kicked out of the pack | BAMF!Stiles + pt2 | omegaverse | witch!Stiles | creature!Stiles + pt2 | oblivious Stiles | oblivious sterek | bad friend Scott | pack mom!Stiles | unrequited love | werewolf!Stiles | dark sterek | single parent!Stiles | feral Derek | feral Stiles | arranged marriage | Stiles is underestimated | mpreg w/o abo | accidental knotting | jock!Derek | jock!Stiles | alive Hales | spanking | royal abo au | longfic | void!Stiles | sheriff dissaproves | Stiles doesn't know about werewolves | soft fics | hales love stiles

[golvio]

I think the reason why the Utena finale always kills me is because that sweet, helpful, selfless little girl who gave her life for her brother without hesitation, even if she didn’t understand what that actually would mean for her for the rest of eternity, had been in that coffin the whole time.

Anthy insists that she’s soiled and ruined because of her abuse at Akio’s hands, and she genuinely believes it. She sees herself as a wreckage of that past innocent self, who lived when things were Better and died when they stopped being Better, and now what’s left is unsalvageable junk. A “fallen woman,” only capable of acting selfishly and cynically in the service of a man who no longer loves her, who deserves to be hurt again and again for her impurity and her foolishness in clinging to him, who cannot survive in the world outside.

And yet, upon waking up, the very first thing her “true,” unguarded self does is scream at Utena to run, to save herself, to leave her behind.

That selfless little girl never left, not even when she grew up into a jaded, tired young adult. She was always there. All the swords in the world couldn’t kill her. Akio couldn’t kill her. Not even Anthy herself could kill her, not with all the denial and repression and magic in the world.

And in the end, that little girl finally experienced the unconditional love she’d always been hoping for, the kind she’d always deserved but never received from the one she’d sacrificed herself for. And that tiniest glimpse of real love and real happiness was enough to help her escape from the prison she’d been trapped in her whole life, join hands with that tired and jaded old witch who’d spent what felt like eternity trying to bury her, and walk free.

All girls are like the Rose Bride, sure. Some boys are, too. Touga shared enough of Anthy’s trauma at Akio’s hands that he eventually got a sword pulled from his own chest, even if he was forbidden from wearing the bridal outfit because a boy wearing a suitable gown for the role would be against the Ohtori Academy dress code. However, the flipside of that is that if there’s hope for even the most hated little girl in the whole world, there’s also hope for the rest of us.

[zorlok-if]

would love to hear more about your process! i also have insane adhd brain but i Hate coding and im always like how do i unlock the forbidden enjoyable coding experience..

Well then, welcome behind the curtain! (Sorry, it's a fucking mess back here.) Can't promise that this is a magical coding panacea, but it's what helps/works for me. 😊

An Exploration of How Albie Codes:

So, for my particular flavor of ADHD brain, my biggest issue when coding is keeping track of my variables. Gods, I love a variable, but I'll quickly and easily lose track of what I called my variables, where I called them, why I called them, and what I intended to do with them after calling them. My brain also tends to jump between hobbies/special interests/projects. Between that and a busy job, I might leave code unattended for a while. When I come back, I have to make sense of what schemes my brain concocted.

So, to help with these things, I have one spreadsheet per game where I track every variable that I set. That isn't hyperbole. For every single variable I track what I called it, where I set it (especially if it can be in multiple places), every value it can have, and what I intended to do/signify with it. I'll go into detail about this spreadsheet below and share a template version later. First, I'll explain my usage of objects and arrays (because they feature heavily in my spreadsheets).

When I started coding IF, I'd just set a bunch of unique variables. To cut down on variable/system bloat and keep myself more organized, I devised a system reliant upon objects and arrays.

Object variables—if you don't know—are variables that can have numerous properties (so, in effect, it's variable inception). Each main character and section of the story gets its own object variable ($dev, $dog, $har, $pro, $ep1, etc.). The rest of the cast's info is held in one object ($x, which breaks down into properties like $x.elena, $x.jin, $x.sally, etc.). This means that almost all non-object variables are temporary. So, when I'm testing, if I see that a temp variable is active, I know it needs to be unset or that data needs stored in an object. Like, if $brokeArm is true, I'll do $pro.mem.push("brokeArm"), unset $brokeArm. This stores a memory of the fact that Z broke their arm in the prologue-memory object and eliminates that unique variable.

To demonstrate, in Zorlok the MC's data is all stored in the $z object. Tommy's is stored in the $tom object. This is what they look like in the StoryInit passage (notably, with extensive notes in the Tommy one, I leave a lot of notes for myself in my code):

So, when I'm writing about Zorlok, I'll type $z.they and that will print Zorlok's subject pronoun. If I want to know if Tommy believes in God or not, I can say <<if $tom.thinks.includes("realGod")>>God's real, folks.<<else>>God is a lie.<</if>>

This gets into my next main strategy: Arrays. I use arrays to store collections of data instead of having a bunch of unique variables.

The hellhound's unique stats? $dog.tags (values can include: mammal, fly, teeth, bite, scary, cute, fluffy, etc.)

The things that happened in the prologue? $pro.mem (values can include: tomPassive, claraHair, noTea, believedHar, gotSlimed, demonAttack, etc.)

The information that Zorlok has unlocked? $unlock.info (values can include: vesselTerm, noEatSleep, hellBroken, cannotDie, susDemManip, susKilledVessel, etc.)

This is a lot to keep track of, and it would be impossible to keep track of without my spreadsheet (aka, my beloved). Forewarning, these are a real chore to setup if you are trying to create one for a story you're already working on, but they are so helpful! I genuinely don't know what I'd do without it. If you are working on a big Twine game, you don't have to follow my method, but I promise that keeping track of your variables in some way will make your life so much easier when coding.

This is what my spreadsheet looks like:

This is the sheet tracking my StoryInit values. You'll see that I have a column for what the variable is called, what type of variable it is (not really necessary, but I do it anyway), all the values it can have, and the purpose of that variable. For variables with really expansive values, you'll see that I have links to other sheets within this spreadsheet that go into further detail. Now this is the sheet that tracks all of my prologue variables:

Here I track the variable, the type of variable, whether it's permanent of temporary (with temporary ones highlighted in yellow), the values it can have, the meaning, where it first appears, and where it's unset. In this sheet you can also see one of my favorite temp variables, $react, make an appearance. $react is quite simply for temporary reactions. It can hold any number of values but it normally doesn't last or stay the same over multiple passages. This is how I do a lot of flavor text/minor choices (though sometimes the link that will set which reaction the game shows on the next passage will also push a memory into the prologue array, in those cases it's cause not all of the choices have lasting consequences/impressions).

Now, what you may have been waiting for, how do I do character customization? Objects and arrays, you are correct. Let's take a look.

Oh, do my eyes deceive me, $z.hair? Is that an object within an object? Indeed, it is. The chaos grows (as it always must). It isn't really necessary for me to do objects within objects (within objects, in some cases). I could use individual properties like $z.hairStyle instead of $z.hair.style, but having the $z.hair object helps me keep it more organized in my head.

Anyways, you can see just how minutely I have tracked every value, and (in the cases of integers) what the integer values indicate. By doing them as integers, it allows me to do things like <<if $z.height gt 3>>You duck as you enter the room. <</if>> or <<if $z.str gte 1>>The door gives way.<<else>>The door holds fast.<</if>>

By having multiple arrays for things like prosthetics and gender affirming procedures, it allows me to easily check what prosthetics or procedures the vessel has, <<if $z.prost.includes('ra') or $z.prost.includes('la')>>, but then I can print the prosthetic without having to write it out or do extra coding. <<print $z.prosthetic[0]>>.

Now, remember how I mentioned the $dog.tags? Let me show you how I keep track of something like that (this is stored in the Hellhound Information sheet):

So, if I want to know if the Hellhound can fly, I can just go <<if $dog.tags.includes("fly")>>. If I want to know if people are gonna react to it in a significant way, I can go <<if $dog.tags.includes("cute")>>"Aw, $dog.name is adorable! I love <<print $dog.breedName>>s."<<elseif $dog.tags.includes("scary")>>"Shit, seriously?! That's your //pet?// You have a pet //$dog.breedName?"//<<else>>"Oh. Cool."<</if>>

The way I see it, this is the simplest way to do all this stuff. It's just a matter of keeping track of it and keeping my records up to date (which has become habit at this point, I never have Twine up without having my spreadsheet up).

Here are some other notable sheets:

With the $pro.mem values in that third screenshot, this is the main way that I keep track of what happens in the prologue. If I want to know how Tommy reacted to Harlow and entered the summoning scene, I just go <<if $pro.mem.includes("leftSure")>>Tommy believed Harlow and knows that the ritual is going to work.<<elseif $pro.mem.includes("leftUnsure")>>Tommy isn't sure whether this ritual is going to work.<<else>>Tommy and Harlow didn't part on good terms, but he's going to give this nonsensical "ritual" a try.<</if>>

That's all I can think to say right now. I hope all of this makes sense. If you'd like to know more/if I haven't explained something well, let me know. Like I said, I'll share a template version of my variable tracking spreadsheet in a reblog, so look out for that! 😊

[claraswritings]

Reader opens a bookshop opposite the Bear. Her and Carmy meet and she holds back cook books for him and he cooks her food 😭

Omg cute 🥰 I put a bit of a twist on this one I hope you don’t mind but blurb btc

No TW just fluff

You’d been in the city for a little over two months when had met him. Carmen Berzatto.

He’d stumbled in, slightly pink in the cheeks looking for a book about a ‘magical pony’.

You’d given him a smile, small and tweaking at the corner of your mouth and pointed off to the colourful section down around a corner

“First display in the kids section. If you get lost it’s directly under the inflatable unicorn”

“Thanks” he ran a hand through a mess of curly hair and took off.

“It’s not for me” he told you when he’d returned with it in hand, some of the glitter from the cover now stuck to his patchwork jacket.

“I’m not one to judge.” You stated matter of factly. Even if it was for him, a grown man buying a unicorn book would not be the weirdest thing you’d seen.

“I promise it’s for…my cousins kid. I mean he’s not actually my cousin…but he’s…”

You looked amused.

“Okay, I believe you. Thousands wouldn’t” you teased as you slipped the pink sparkly book into a bag and handed it over.

“Is this place new?” He asked as if it had just dawned on him this was no longer the carpet shop it used to be and you raised your eyebrows.

“About two months.”

He let out a low whistle and nodded “I’m…Carmen, Carmy…I own erm…” he stopped and gestured out of the window hoping he sounded better out loud than he did in his head.

“The Bear?” You asked and when he tilted his head in confusion “I know. I’ve seen you come and go. It’s a big window.”

He winced even though it didn’t sound like a dig.

“Sorry, I would have said hi sooner, I’ve not…I’ve not been with it. Busy getting ready to re open.”

He winced again. You’d obviously not long since opened too.

“It’s okay” you said in the same way you’d said ‘I’m not one to judge’ and Carmy weirdly liked that. “I had a sandwich there a while back…when I was viewing this place. Maybe I’ll come in sometime.”

The way you said it was genuine. Not in the placid, token sentiment way people said it. You sounded like you mean it

“I’ll, uh, lemme know and I’ll sort you a table.”

****

It went on like this for a little while.

He’d started coming in every few days, mostly following Eva and Richie in.

“Ah, the cousin and his daughter are real.” You’d quipped the first time. “See I held back the new unicorn book thinking this guy was a secret fan…” you winked at Carmy before pausing “Guess I’ll have to give it to this little lady!” You passed Eva over a book which she ran off excitedly with

Richie had given you a nod and a “Thanks sweetheart” before slapping Carmy on the back and following his daughter off to the kids table.

The look he gave Carmy did not go unnoticed by you. Almost as soon as they were out Richie had turned to him with this shit eating grin

“Wonder why you wanted to go in. Real obvious cousin.”

“What? Was I?? Do you think she noticed?” Suddenly Carmy felt about sixteen and awkward again, as he glanced over through the window at you.

Richie clipped him around the head with the book “Just ask the nice lady out, fucko”

***

“Carmy!” You’d grinned when he’d come in a few days later. “I kept you a present”

He raised an eyebrow “Uh, yeah, you mentioned something about…” you paused not wanting to butcher the French pronunciation. “A French evening? At your place?”

You ducked behind the counter and picked up the hardback book, placing it on the counter with a dramatic drop.

“Here.” You pushed it towards him

It was a famous chefs latest book. Full of recipes and inspiration from his upbringing in Marseille and about his three star restaurant in Nice. “This is signed.” Carmy’s eyes widened

“Yes. I know” you tilted your head to the side and watched him flip through it. “Is that like…against some kinda chef code or something.”

“Chef code?” Carmy raised an eyebrow “Like scouts honor?”

You shrugged “I dunno. Just you look confused by the prospect of a signed book.”

“No…it’s just…I can pay for it” Carmy started looking around in his wallet and you raised your eyebrows

“Don’t worry about it”

“Are you sure? It’s signed. This is like having a…book signed by…”

“By him?” You tapped the cover.

“By like…Tolkien or something” Carmy continued “Shit analogy I know.”

“No I get it. He’s like some type of chef Tolkien”

“Yeah.” Carmy nodded

“So he’s good?”

“He���s one of the best. This is the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me. You know he never signs right? I think he’s uh… like a recluse?” Carmy held up a hand“Hold on okay? I’ll be right back”

Right back was twenty minutes later. He entered holding out a plastic carton

“It’s the… I brought you some?” He ran his hand through his hair wondering if it was weird. “It’s not how I’d usually plate it.”

“I know. Thank you” you said and he noticed your slow reassuring tone and in his mind he heard Richie again, berating him for not asking you out

“Uh next time…How about I don’t bring you food. How about I take you out. Properly.”

“I think I’d like that”

[ckret2]

What’s ur favorite GF character you almost never see mention/art of?

Lately as I've been digging more into Gideon's character in order to write him, I've actually been getting genuinely fond of that kid.

There's a lot to work with! He's the season 1 main villain and the villain with the most appearances, he does real magic, he's right on the cusp of forming a full cult around his fake magic, he's been earning his family's money since age 9 at least, he bonds with Mabel because they both like beautiful sparkly things—there's a side to him that vibes HARD with Mabel that she felt too that gets buried when he romance zones her, and it's a huge loss for both of them—he had the exact same "found a Journal and got obsessed with its magical/paranormal secrets and went to extremes trying to dig to the bottom of this mystery" story as Dipper but we never SEE that story because it's all offscreen and that's a WILD plotline for a kid coded as (Raised To Act Like) A Good Little Conservative Christian Boy, he's as much Ford's indirect protégé-in-absentia as Dipper was,like, he has nearly as much to flip out about re: the Ford reveal as the actual Mystery Shack household does, he's the only other person in town who understands the gravity of that, AND HE'S ALSO Stan's nemesis, which is WILD, they BOTH look goofy for considering the other their nemesis—he's summoned and betrayed Bill Cipher TWICE and lived to tell the tale, he went to WHOLE ADULT JAIL as a TEN YEAR OLD and formed a BIKER GANG that follows him just because they adore him and he brightens up their lives... There is so much! Going on with this kid! He's SUCH a fun & fascinating character, he can be an interesting foil to ALL the Pines in different ways and he's got the second deepest relationship with the main villain out of the whole cast just in terms of how much we can assume they interacted with each other...

But for a main villain and one of the most frequent recurring characters, Gideon gets next to no fandom attention. When I search his tag, nearly every post is about the whole ensemble cast with Gideon just happening to be included too; i can scroll for pages and only see 2 or 3 posts that are actually about GIDEON.

I'm assuming it's because he's chubby and has a goofy pompadour.

[siswritesyanderes]

i mightve asked this before, in which case go ahead and ignore this lmao. which characters would be the best vs worst when handling an autistic darling?

Oooh, this is a cool question! I would say it depends on the particular symptoms the person has, so I'll go over some symptoms and which yanderes would respond best vs. worst.

avoidance of eye-contact

Obviously, shy, autistic, or autistic-coded yanderes would work really well with this (and other) symptom(s). Your Donatello's, your Newt's, arguably your Peter Parker's. Also, yanderes who are able to sense when their darling's attention is on them supernaturally or just out of sheer social aplomb. Elves, for example, would be great with someone who doesn't like eye contact, because their body language conventions differ as a result of being able to communicate mentally.

Roxanne Wolf would be distinctly bad for this, based on her need for attention as demonstrated in Help Wanted 2. But she's also not beyond reason when it matters, as we've seen in Ruin DLC, so I'm sure communicating about it is on the table.

sensory reactivity

Okay, I think Dr. Strange would very specifically be bad for this, because his movies are all swirling kaleidoscopes of magic that would definitely be sensory overload in real life, and I have mentioned before that I don't see him as a considerate yandere. If anything, he might enjoy inducing sensory overload for the express purposes of making his darling require comfort, care, and isolation from others.

On the other hand, and maybe a weird pull for this, but Zafrina from Twilight would be great. Alec, too. Both have powers that would be super helpful when darling is overwhelmed.

Druig is able to just make everyone nearby shut up, which he would employ liberally.

food sensitivity/pickiness

Yanderes who enjoy cooking could go both ways on this. I could see some being offended by negative feedback and some taking it as being gifted with the challenge of meeting their darling's standards. Teruteru from Danganronpa and Esme from Twilight would both probably be good about receiving feedback and making changes. Super eager to please. Esme more so than Teruteru; he might get offended at first.

Rich and royal yanderes would delight in someone picky. They would love to be able to send food back with new, highly specific orders because darling doesn't like grapes with soft spots. Your Tony Stark's, your Byakuya Togami's, your Toph Beifong's, your Coriolanus Snow's.

Ralph from DBH would be a problem. He has a very weak grasp on what humans eat and a very high sensitivity to negative feedback. (Wait, he's just like me...)

resistance to changes in routine

This one would be a problem for yanderes who feel a need to go on adventures and trips with their darling. Which isn't necessarily the same as adventurous yanderes. Some adventurous yanderes might enjoy the idea of their darling staying behind at home keeping to a comfortable routine. But the ones who want their darling along on the adventure would be problematic. The Doctor, for example. Especially Eleven; he gets bored easily.

Whereas I think a lot of superheroes would like the idea of keeping their darling sequestered away, living predictably and comfortably. Clark Kent, Steve Rogers, Druig...The only catch is that some of them (Druig) would probably be a bit condescending about it.

I think Daycare Attendant would be great for routine. Coloring time, snack time, naptime, same time every day, sign them up! Also condescending, but they genuinely can't help it because it's how they're programmed.

Technically, Phineas and Ferb keep to a very specific routine, albeit a pretty tiring/potentially overwhelming one.

sorting things

This would be great for the disorganized genius character type. A Bruce Banner, if you will. An organized genius probably already has a system and might have trouble with someone sorting things differently than they have them. A distinctly slovenly character probably wouldn't mind either way.

hyperfixation

Yo, Queen from Deltarune would be the best for this. She would create an inescapable palace of the thing darling likes. Swatch and the Swatchlings would be involved.

stimming

There might be a problem if the yandere is easily distracted and needs to focus on something else. The main one I can think of who fits that description is Percy Jackson. That's not a distaste thing; just a pragmatic issue. Yanderes who experience sensory overload might also have an issue with it. My first thought was Queen Elsa.

On the other hand, Leo Valdez would love to make little stim toys for his darling. Donatello, too.

[museofthepyre]

Thinking about character analysis lately and I really wanna talk about the themes of privilege prevalent throughout CHNT... I wanna talk about how they're core to SO MUCH of the series imo, especially in relation to Jedidiah and Elijah's actions and similarities. With that, I wanna talk about the transfem Elijah hc- and explain why personally, I stand with the whole “let’s maybe not do that” thing.

But I don't want my nerdy character analysis ramble to feel... inflammatory? This is nothing more than my own personal takeaway from the series, and as always, I have nothing against the individuals behind these hcs (especially if it's a self-projection!). I just have a contrasting perspective, and a tendency to over-analyze media lol.

I'm not as interested in discussing morality as I am narritave congruency, just since many have said it before... that being, something something "out of all the characters to hc as transfem, let's maybe not hone in on the guy who's notoriously predatory and creepy and invasive and stalkerish. Let's just be mindful of the insinuations that come from pointing at him specifically and going "omg so transfem coded". Theres something to be said about how so many ppl neglect the transfem rep we actually have in favour of it — yeah, ykwim..." something something.

But I digress— I wanna talk about the narritave!!!!!

To contextualize my thoughts: I believe Jedidiah and Elijah are meant to be parallels. I believe neither of them are ill-intended or evil. I believe they both genuinely thought they were doing "good", but their respective worldviews were uniquely distorted. One of the things warping their perspective issssss: privilege!

Privilege (and the subsequent ignorance it fosters) is a large theme I’ve noticed throughout CHNT, a theme which both Elijah and Jedidiah's characters explore.

For Elijah, this comes in the form of... his apparent obliviousness (or disregard) towards just how scary his behaviour comes across to Sydney. He just doesn't seem to realize it at all— how his actions, regardless of their intent, are threatening and frightening and creepy as hell. Elijah is a very physically capable cis white man, and considering that, it makes sense that he's never had to adapt the unique kind of hyper-vigilance that women (both trans and cis) and transmascs all learn at some point in their life experience. That being… an innate weariness of cis men.

I don't think it's any coincidence that Sydney and Marisol (and Salem!!!) were afraid of Elijah— but Jedidiah, another cis white man, just couldn't wrap his head around why they were scared. Why they share an instinctual fear of this random sketchy human man, and why *this* freaks them out so much more than the whacky magical anomalies they encounter daily. He, like Elijah, lives in a totally different world, one where he's never had to be hyper-vigilant in that way! He's completely detached from Sydney and Marisol's perspective. He cannot sympathize, because he’s never had to. Both Elijah's behaviour AND Jedidiah's dismissal of it share the same root— a privileged perspective that they can't (or refuse to) see beyond.

Something I love about CHNT is how it explores real world issues in a heightened reality. Nobody is a cartoon villain here, their actions come not from evil, not from malice, but plain ol’ ignorance.

With this understanding... and the understanding that trans women ABSOLUTELY adapt this hyper-vigilance the very same way cis women and transmascs do (as Marisol stands to demonstrate)... the notion of a transfem Elijah becomes an entirely different character, because she would know!!!!! She would not share that privileged ignorance!

A character who is scaring Sydney, knows it, and continues that behaviour with no regard for his suffering... vs a character who is so detached from Sydney’s reality that they’re completely ignorant to how much suffering they’re causing him in their blind attempt to “help”. One is knowing and malicious— one is catastrophically ignorant.

WHCH IS STILL BAD- but it’s consistent with those themes of ‘no evil cartoon villainy’ and 'character is doing what they think is right. they do not know what is right'. Elijah’s goal seems to be earning Sydney’s trust… and making Sydney fear him directly sabotages that pursuit, so I don’t think he’s doing it with real awareness/ intent. I also don’t think he had ulterior motives, in case that needs to be clarified. I think he (like Jedidiah) truly wanted to do what they thought was “right” for Sydney…

… Doing what they thought was right, all the while being completely oblivious to the suffering they're causing him inversely— because (say it with me now), they're detached from his reality, they cannot sympathize, they've never had to! Well, they COULD sympathize... but in order to do that, they’d have to sacrifice the bliss of that ignorance, which neither of them seemed ready to do. Not until the last episode when Jedidiah… maybe took his first few steps. Maybe. Hopefully.

Anyways yeah. This specific facet of Elijah's identity (cis guy privilege) feels crucial to his character, and contextualizing why he acts the way he does. Same goes for Jedidiah tbh. I think showcasing, acknowledging, and breaking down the harm of that ignorance is part of the story's message (in so many more ways than just this one example) (I have a whole other ramble locked and loaded about why I think Jedidiah is very intentionally written to be a wealthy healthy skinny cis white guy and how that impacts the narrative lol)

In case it needs to be stated I'm not asserting this as any One True Way of interpreting the characters, it's just what I got from the series ;3 and I wanna share because I like to yap! Sidenote here, we should pay more attention to Marisol. God, I love Marisol.

[littlefoxwithbighat]

10(ish) Deltarune theories and lore to catch up on before Chapter 3 & 4

As someone who has been deep (AND I MEAN DEEP) in the trenches of Deltarune theories and analysis, I thought I'd share a few ones that you might want to catch up on before Chapters 3 & 4 drop for real, so we can be on the lookout for more secrets! There is so much thought and love and secrets inbuilt into the series, so its really fun to learn about this stuff!

Bolded videos are the ones I would highly recommend watching before Ch3 and 4 drop.

"Everything to look out for in Chapters 3 and 4 of Deltarune" by KazooCat covers most of the lore we are expecting to see in these chapters from the previous newsletters and special events. If you just want a quick recap of what's coming and where we're at, this is a great resource.

2. "The Burgerpants Conspiracy" by cammyboiG is a bit of a crack theory and a very silly video, and it isn't something I necessarily subscribe to, but it does cover some big theories and important ideas, such as chess theory, several candidates for the knight and some general lore, and it's all around a good time with a genuine love for the source material. Go check it out!

3. "The Importance of The Dreamurr divorce in Chapter 3" by StuffedAlpaca discusses the Dreamurr family throughout Undertale and Deltarune with some really insightful and empathetic analysis, very good video for any Kris fans and will almost certainly be relevant in Chapter 3. All around lovely video and a great channel.

I would also recommend Stuffed Alpaca's video on:

A) "Susie and Ralsei's relationship will be more important than you think" discussing how their opposing relationships with both Kris and the player might affect the storyline

4. "Why is Kris so weird?" by HalfBreadChaos. This is a must-watch in my opinion, although I am a bit biased because I absolutely love this channel, it's incredibly smart. Covers some really important elements of Kris's characters and their relevance to magic and ocean and death imagery, and absolutely opened my eyes to some deeper lore within the game. Also, HBC uses a TTS due to their disabilities, so if thats a no for you, thats fair, but please don't hassle them or their community for it, they aren't a bot!

B) "Why is Berdly in Deltarune? An (Over)Analysis" A beautiful character analysis of Berdly for his fans to celebrate and his haters to learn a little bit more about him.

I would also really recommend HalfBreadChaos's video on:

A) "Who is December Holiday in Deltarune" A MUST WATCH if you are behind on Dess lore, or you still don't know who she is. This is your best resource to learn about her.

B) "Don't forget, who is with us in the dark?" discussing potential candidates for the singer of the main song of the series, including taking apart the japanese characters and their significance to each character.

C) "What the Four Shadows Foreshadow" discussing the foreshadowing of the shadow puzzle in Queens mansion in Ch.2.

D) "Puppets and Cats: Elements Revealed in The Spamton Sweepstakes" discussing the element system in the pvp, which will probably become increasingly significant in later chapters.

E) "Who is the Man With The Egg in Deltarune?" discussing the secret egg room and its significance to Gaster and the knight as well as other easter eggs.

F)The smile motifs in Deltarune, which as you might guess, covers the way smiling is used in UTDR universe and why.

Honestly, just go watch all HalfBreadChaos's videos if you want to learn Deltarune lore in full, they use code and translations and previous lore expertly to flesh out theories. But these are my favourites/ the most important ones to know.

5. "Noelle's mother worries me" by Dorked. Covers a bit about what we know about Noelle's family relationships and how it relates to Noelle's personality. Will also probably be relevant in future chapters.

I would also recommend from Dorked:

A) "Ralsei and The Player's concerning relationship." What it says on the tin, but incredibly important for any Ralsei analysis.

B) "The Sans & Ice-E Conspiracy, and Deltarune Papyrus Mysteries" maybe a bit out there, but it does provide a lot of insight into ICE-E and its relevance.

C) "Toriel and Asgore's parenting problems." Like Stuffed Alpaca's video, this covers how Toriel and Asgore's parenting issues affect their children. A lovely character analysis.

Again, a really lovely and insightful channel. These are just a few picks and I would highly recommend you check out more of their videos.

6. "The Universal Mother Theory" by Kooki914. Explores how Queen's relationship to each of the characters resembles their relationship to their mothers. Chapter 2 specific, but I do think it's interesting to consider for other chapters, especially when we begin to learn more about the characters families.

From Kooki914, I would also recommend:

A) "Snowgrave: An exploration of relationships" which explores how Kris and Susie's relationship in the snowgrave route is likened to an abuse marriage.

7. "I think I know what Ralsei is" by SonsaKay." I don't know if I fully subscribe to this theory but O.M.G. I had SO MANY revelations and jaw drop moments watching this video. If you are at all interested in Ralsei's character you MUST MUST watch this.

8. "A Thematic Analysis of Darkness in Deltarune" by Virat Veritas. Just a nice old fashioned thematic analysis; what is says on the tin.

9. "Names, Endings, Prophecy, Power" by Snarlinger. Explores the significance of character names in the UT/DR universe, and links them to religious themes within the text.

Related to this video:

10. "I know what the angel's heaven is & how Deltarune will end" by Black Chesnut and "The Religious Symbolism of Deltarune" by Detective Mar. Grouping these together because they're both good insights into the religious symbolism in Deltarune, which is shaping up to be a really prominent theme, and worth knowing a little bit about.

A. In this video, Snarlinger mentions, "Deltarune's story is strongly tied to the Book of Revelation" by Doom64hunter. This is a brilliant in-depth read about how the story of deltarune mirrors the end of the New Testament and so smartly put together.

and a bonus

11. "Who Dr. Gaster Is and Why That Matters to Deltarune" by Mystic Sparkles. Come on guys, we had to have ONE big gaster theory in here and I DID save it to the end. In all seriousness, if you are behind on Gaster lore, or you don't understand why people are using him in Deltarune Analysis, this is a really great resource, and Mystic Sparkles is a delightful commentator.

NOW LISTEN GUYS. I AM TRUSTING YOU TO BE NICE AND RESPECTFUL TO THESE CREATORS, EVEN IF YOU STRONGLY DISAGREE WITH THESE THEORIES, OK? DON'T MAKE ME REGRET SHARING THESE, I'M TRUSTING YOU ALL TO BE GOOD. Now have fun theorising and analysing mwah <33.

[springofdrownedmillenial]

***This post contains heavy spoilers for the Ryugenzawa Arc and the Nodoka storyline through Chapter 384. English scans read left-to-right and Japanese scans right-to-left. Sorry!***

In chapter 275 of Ranma 1/2, Ranma tells a rival for Akane's affections to "take care of her" before leaping to almost certain death. Pretty standard stuff, a staple scene of action movies everywhere, right before the hero sacrifices himself to save the girl he loves. Except that the macho bravado of the moment is subverted by the fact that Rumiko Takahashi renders Ranma's physical form, in this scene, as a beautiful, sorrowing girl.

Sapphic overtones aside, this moment has stayed with me because it holds the series' ideas about gender conformity, and specifically masculinity, up for inspection. Throughout the series, Ranma is preoccupied with being a "real man" and is famously out of touch with his emotions. Most of the time this character trait is played for laughs, but the series does hold a fair number of moments when Ranma expresses genuine vulnerability, and oftentimes Takahashi draws Ranma going through these scenarios in his girl form.

Before I go further, it is worth mentioning that I am by no means claiming Ranma is in his girl form any time he displays emotion or moments of vulnerability, or that vulnerability is the only kind of emotion girl-Ranma displays. Rather, I am saying that Takahashi, as a storyteller, often makes use of the gender swap device to heighten the emotional impact of a scene and that, moreover, the emotions that Ranma bodily expresses as a boy often differ in their association with gendered attributes than the ones he expresses as a girl. As a boy, Ranma expresses anger, belligerence, confusion, comically rendered fear - all "active," masculine-coded feelings. On the other hand, during moments of sadness, uncertainty, acquiescence, or some sense of loss, when they are not played for laughs or as a setup to a gag, he is often drawn as a girl. Even though Ranma is constantly trying to return to being a "real" man, Takahashi repeatedly undercuts the idea that this is a good and worthwhile thing to aspire to.

I won't get into what makes a "real man" here, but it's pretty easy to pick up on; as it turns out, the rules of heteronormative Japanese masculinity are a lot like the American ones: boys don't show weakness, boys don't back down or admit when they're wrong, boys don't show sadness or fear, and above all they don't eat girly stuff like yogurt parfaits.

Takahashi gets around the rules of masculinity by having Ranma embody vulnerability in a female body. This is both a loophole and a subversion. As a girl, Ranma is now "allowed" to show certain emotions, just like he is "allowed" to eat parfaits without inviting social judgement when in his female body. But since his gender identity remains male, he is still a boy eating the parfait, having these emotions. What makes his female-bodied vulnerability interesting is how it later affects his ability or willingness to express "un-manly" emotions while in his male body.

So, to return to Chapter 275: The thing is, Takahashi could have easily drawn Ranma as a boy in this panel. It would have been easy to insert a shot of him turning back into a boy via a Magically Appearing Kettle. As I stated earlier, this scene could have played like a macho action movie, with one guy "handing over" his girlfriend to another guy before sacrificing himself. And if Ranma were in his boy form when saying this line, it would definitely strengthen that read. You can easily imagine him delivering the line with a kind of macho stoicism and fortitude. But he doesn't. He delivers the line in his girl form, and what’s more Takahashi ramps up the ante here and draws him as downright beautiful. His features are exaggerated to emphasize femininity, with a small, rounded face shape and a delicately pointed chin. Ranma's eyes are huge, and light reflections take up most of the pupils, giving them a luminous appearance. This panel directly follows two shots of Akane and Ranma gazing at each other without speaking, and because the line is delivered so quietly, paired with Ranma's hyper-feminine appearance and expression, it locks the reader into the emotional intensity of the moment. In this moment, we're not thinking about Orochi. We're looking at Ranma mourning the loss of his relationship with Akane.

Remember that Ranma is under the understandable, if mistaken, impression that Akane has effectively tossed him over and chosen Shinnosuke as her new beau. This scene is not subtle about reinforcing the misunderstanding. Shinnosuke kept pace with Ranma in rescuing Akane from Orochi, he's sitting right next to her as she wakes up. In this panel Ranma is accepting and respecting what he thinks is Akane's decision to be with someone else, and this setup makes Ranma and Akane's reunification in the next chapter all the more impactful and romantic.

 Without this panel, would we have gotten that final scene – surely one of the loveliest in the whole series – of Ranma mentally rehearsing all the things he wants to say to Akane and reaching for her hand? I would argue no. While Ranma was plenty upset after Akane first slapped him and shedding his feelings all over the place, in his boy form he expressed himself angrily, petulantly, and childishly - and that was when he wasn't repressing his emotions altogether. That's not the behavior of someone who possesses great emotional maturity. It is only after this scene that he is able, as a boy, to speak sincerely. And I would argue that it's largely because of his vulnerability in this scene that he’s eventually able to at least try to connect emotionally with Akane without hiding behind a lot of bluster and insults.

The tug of war between machismo and vulnerability comes to the fore even more strongly in the long Nodoka subarc that runs through the second half of the series. In a nutshell, Ranma's long-lost mother reappears in his life and is eager to reunite with Ranma, but with a catch: if Ranma hasn't grown up to be a "completely manly," then both Ranma and Genma will be held to a promise to commit ritual suicide. By conventional definitions, Ranma, obviously, is not 100% male and, faced with the prospect of literal death, meets with his mother as Akane's made-up cousin "Ranko," all the while dreaming of the day he can reunite with Nodoka as his real self.

The chapters involving Nodoka are gag-based and comical, and largely turn on ever more preposterous scenarios in which Ranma must constantly switch between his male and female bodies. One of the more serious arcs in this subplot involves Kumon Ryuu, a boy who impersonates Ranma and moves into Nodoka's house after convincing her he is her son. Ranma, of course, fights Ryuu in order to reclaim his name and identity. This arc is poignant and, unlike most other Nodoka arcs, played mostly as a dramatic storyline, because Takahashi makes no bones about how much Ranma loves his mother. This is the one relationship that Ranma wants and pursues without any kind of bluster or contrariness. He doesn't pretend that he doesn't want to see Nodoka. He doesn't rebuff her with rudeness or insensitive remarks. Ranma makes it clear that his mother is important to him and that he will go to extraordinary lengths to be in her life and have a connection with her.

Although Ranma ultimately defeats Ryuu in combat, there are two panels show how much of a pyrrhic victory this is. After the battle, Ranma get punted into a water trough (as one does) and, in his girl form, hides behind a pile of rubble while Nodoka confronts Ryuu.  We see clearly how dejected Ranma is in this scene. Even though he is drawn in the foreground, Takahashi makes him look small next to the mound of dirt, and the way he is positioned, hunching down, hugging his knees, makes him look even tinier. He just looks really lonely and really sad, listening to his mother speak so gently to a boy who is not himself.

In the second panel, Ranma, still sitting in the same position, now looks even tinier, as the panel is drawn from an aerial perspective with Ryuu in the foreground and Ranma in the middle ground. Ryuu advises him to tell Nodoka the truth before departing for good. This is such a heartbreaking conclusion to this arc: Despite the physical and inner ordeals he has endured for his mother's sake, in the end he is reduced to hiding himself away, unable to either reveal himself or speak the truth. Emotionally, this is one of Ranma's lowest points, and once again, because the rules of masculinity preclude Ranma from expressing sincere dejection in a male body, Takahashi makes use of his female body and emphasizes his smallness to visually convey his emotional state.

Unlike in the Ryugenzawa arc, Ranma's display of vulnerability in his girl form doesn't lead to an emotional breakthrough in his boy form, as he remains a girl for the rest of the arc, which concludes on the next page. But it is striking that Ryuu, an antagonist and total outsider to Ranma's long-running drama, should be so insightful into the whole situation. He doesn't tell Ranma to 'man up' or to find a cure. He sees what is outwardly a forlorn girl and says, simply, 'tell the truth.' Whatever beliefs Ranma has about the "right" way to present himself to his mother doesn't matter. The truth is what matters. For his part, Ranma absorbs Ryuu's advice without a word, and it is perhaps telling that although it will take another 85(!!) chapters before the Nodoka subplot is finally resolved, Nodoka only appears in three more storylines in between. This moment is really the beginning of the end for this whole rigamarole.

This scene also shows how exhausting it is to keep up the ruse. It is stressful to have to pretend to be someone else in order to keep a relationship with a loved one. It must also be so emotionally taxing to be thwarted every time you work up the nerve to tell the truth, just as it must be to have terror of the consequences of outing yourself almost involuntarily override your desire to connect.

And indeed, it all comes to a head in the subplot's concluding arc. Ranma, in his girl form, finds himself continuously confronting Genma, who as usual wants to prevent him from revealing the truth to Nodoka, and running away from Nodoka herself. Finally, Genma knocks him out, and when he regains consciousness he hazily sees Nodoka bending over him, holding a water kettle. Instinctively, Ranma splits the kettle open with a leg slash, only to discover it is empty. Ranma and Nodoka face each other for a moment before Ranma runs off.

The only way I can describe Ranma's expression in this panel is "devastated." The position of his eyebrows really makes this a unique expression. Whatever boy Ranma's mental state, be it confusion, smugness, or shock, his brows are usually furrowed downwards, suggesting dominance, control, and assertiveness. Here, however, they're arched much less sharply, opening up his whole face.

As he runs away, Ranma expresses fear that his mother has discovered the secret to his transformation. That's certainly a reason to be devastated. However, I also read this moment as being the horrible, worst-case culmination of all the stress Ranma has been under so far. He has become so panicked and worn down that he is lashing out, however inadvertently, at the one person he is desperate to please, and once again Takahashi uses his female form to visually communicate that Ranma is at his lowest emotional point.

But all is not lost! Somewhat beautifully, Takahashi shows that girl Ranma is also a conduit of positive vulnerability. In the next chapter, Ranma (still in his girl form) wakes up from a nightmare and immediately has to evade an attack from Genma. Genma reminds him that if he tells Nodoka the truth, both of them will have to commit seppuku. It's the same old go-around; we have seen this exchange before, and we know what's coming next: Ranma's going to declare that he's going to meet his mom anyway, and Nodoka will show up, and Ranma will reflexively chicken out and turn into his girl form.

This time, however, Ranma does something unexpected. He says, with a smile on his face, "Dad...I wanna stop lying already." He looks completely at peace, and it's clear that following the harrowing confrontation with his mother, Ranma's outlook has irrevocably shifted. His desire to reunite with Nodoka is finally more powerful than his fear of death, and he will accept whatever consequences may come, so long as he can meet with his mother honestly.

In contrast to how he is drawn in the Ryugenzawa arc, Ranma's face here is almost a blend of masculine and feminine features. His jawline is stronger and his eyes sit higher on the face, giving him a less exaggerated, delicate look. If his boy and girl forms were combined into one body, this is how he might appear, and his harmonized features reflect the resolution of his inner turmoil.

Once again, in a world where kettles of hot water can and do appear out of thin air, Takahashi could easily have had Ranma deliver this line in his male form. I think that she doesn't because it is important to show Ranma breaking the cycle of deception and evasion that Genma has trapped him in up until now. He's not responding with aggression this time, but rather with peace and acceptance and a new-found moral conviction. He dials down the energy; he's not doing this anymore. This is, as much as anything, an assertion of independence from his father's influence: Ranma has found his own way forward and is no longer going to let the terms of his relationship with Nodoka be dictated by fear and cowardice.

The payoff comes in the arc's climactic scene when Ranma, now in his male body, rescues Nodoka after she falls off a cliff. Mother and son are finally reunited face-to-face and, in a really touching detail, Ranma's long-awaited reunion plays out totally differently than how he has fantasized. Instead of being a cool and composed tower of manly virility, welcoming his mother into his manly arms, Ranma starts to cry and clings to Nodoka while burying his head in her shoulder. It is a pure, cathartic, completely unmanly display of emotion, and this time Ranma does it all while in a male body.

Amazingly, Ranma goes even further in trying to express himself. We see his inner monologue as he urges himself to tell Nodoka that he was Ranko, and even starts to say so out loud before he is stopped by - of course - Genma. This is a critical character development moment because, having just performed a heroic rescue, he quite honestly doesn't have to tell the truth. He could have hustled Nodoka back up to safety and just tried extra hard to remain male for the rest of the day. But he commits to his own words: He wants to stop lying. He wants to present his whole self to Nodoka, and that includes the non-masculine parts of his identity.

In the series, so much of the characters' time is preoccupied with policing gender conformity, which is not unsurprising for a gender-bender series. Ranma is inundated with comments about how a man should behave and he shouldn't behave, how he should think and how he shouldn't think, which emotions are appropriate and which ones are not. Ranma puts himself into a bind because for the most part he subscribes to this model of masculinity, and indeed until relatively recently he was nearly the perfect embodiment of it. But being "100% manly" just sends Ranma into a vicious cycle of misunderstandings and arguments and isolates him from the people he loves. The hard lesson he learns is that when he actually taps into "weaker," "unmanly" feelings, he's able to break out of this unproductive cycle and move forward to achieve his goals.

Although Ranma’s quest is to regain his manhood, we are not meant to cheer on Ranma's displays of machismo. The takeaway from Ranma's moments of vulnerability is not that it's ok to show emotions so long as you appear to be a girl. It is that heteronormative masculinity is so restrictive and so repressive that it cuts off outlets of healthy, human emotional expression. It is both futile and harmful to keep chasing after a type of masculinity that isn't really realistic to embody and still retain a sense of an emotionally whole self. Ranma isn't just a tough guy. He has deep reserves of sensitivity. He is sad sometimes. He feels heartbreak deeply. He is a boy who just wants his mother.

[mangaloversolar2000]

Enemies to Lovers or Red Flags in Pastels? — A Critical Look at Lumity’s Foundations

Lumity is iconic. It gave us one of the first queer WLW couples in Western animation with actual screen time. But sometimes, people forget that just being queer doesn’t make a relationship automatically healthy—or narratively sound. And when you actually look at the foundation of Lumity, it’s kind of… full of red flags that get painted over in soft lighting and cute banter. (Not hating on Lumity btw, this is completely opinion based with reasons why Lumity seems kinda...complicated in my eyes.)

1. Amity Didn’t Bully Luz—But She Did Try to Get Her Dissected

Yeah. Let’s not sugarcoat that one.

In Season 1, Amity literally tries to have Luz dissected by Principal Bump. All because Luz embarrassed her in front of her Abomination class. That’s not petty teen drama—that’s dangerous.

Sure, it’s played for laughs, but if the roles were reversed, people would be furious. This moment is brushed aside because Luz is so endlessly forgiving and the tone is whimsical. But realistically? That’s not just “tsundere behavior.” That’s genuinely disturbing.

2. Amity Bullied Willow for Years and Never Properly Apologized

Let’s talk about Willow. Sweet, awkward Willow who was Amity’s best friend until Amity cut her off to climb the social ladder (with pressure from her parents but still...). Amity not only abandoned her, she actively bullied her. (though for some reason it seemed like this retconned even though in one of the first episodes we see Amity bully Willow) She let Boscha and the others mock Willow constantly while standing by—or even participating.

Later in the show, the story implies that Amity feels guilty and is trying to reconnect. But the apology scene? It never happens. She gives a vague “I wasn’t strong back then,” and we move on.

Meanwhile, Willow is just… okay with it. Like years of emotional damage can be patched over because Amity looks sad. It’s not fair to Willow, and it reflects a pattern in the show where Amity’s emotional arcs are prioritized over the pain she caused others.

3. Luz Never Challenges This Behavior

This is where it gets extra complicated.

Luz, bless her, is a people-pleaser. She just wants friends and adventure and sparkly magic. But that also means she never actually calls Amity out—not for bullying Willow, not for trying to get her dissected, not for anything. She just rolls with it.

Luz’s entire relationship with Amity is built on her always giving grace, always understanding, and never asking for real accountability. In a way, that makes their romance feel unbalanced. Amity gets the space to grow and cry and be soft. Luz? Luz becomes a side character in her own emotional arc.

4. Trauma Bonding Is Not a Love Story

Another point worth mentioning: a lot of Lumity’s deeper moments come from shared trauma. Whether it’s dealing with their families, Belos, or the Collector, they get closer through chaos. But trauma bonding isn’t inherently romantic—it’s survival. And the show leans on it to create intimacy, instead of giving us scenes where they talk about what they want, what they need, or what they like outside of danger.

What do they have in common, really? Aside from magic and angst? The relationship often feels more like a narrative reward than a fully developed emotional connection.

Conclusion: Cute, Important, but Narratively Messy

Look—Lumity matters. It opened doors. It showed queer girls being brave and awkward and in love. But that doesn’t mean we can’t critique how messy it is under the surface.

Amity hurt people. Luz never processes it. Willow gets sidelined. And somehow, it’s all swept under the rug for the sake of a shippable couple. Queer rep shouldn’t mean excusing harmful behavior just because it’s pastel-coded and soft-spoken.

We deserve better storytelling, not just representation.

tbh I kinda prefered Willuz but I don't hate Lumity, I'm fine with the ship but I felt like it was rushed and could have been better developed.

[reguluskeys]

Silly Marauders Headcanons

i posted all of these to my tiktok a while ago, felt like reposting them here !!

click keep reading to see them all <3

James Potter

Cannot spell at all, gets points docked off essays all the time for lack of proper spelling

Writes reminders on his arm and STILL forgets them

Very interested in muggle things, constantly asking Lily, Mary, and Remus how muggle things work

Sirius Black

Loves to scared Filch by running around as Padfoot and randomly barking

Can’t swim at all, refuses to learn because it would mess up his hair

Loves to sit outsides and watch the stars, it was what he planned for his and Remus’ first date

Remus Lupin

“Casanova of Gryffindor Tower” but he has no idea, thinks everyone is looking at him because he’s weird

Sits in the most uncomfortable positions known to MAN. nobody understands how he is comfortable

Very fidgety, always doing something with his hands, his favorite it playing with Sirius’ hair

Peter Pettigrew

Incredibly smart, just doesn’t know how to apply the information he knows

Has an irrational hate towards Pandora because she beat him at chess once

Loves to collect interesting looking leaves

Lily Evans

Loves braiding people’s hair and adding ribbons or other hair accessories to them

Has always enjoyed fantasy books since she was really little and was absolutely ecstatic when she found out magic was real

Loved to dance, doesn’t matter the music or if there even is any, will dance basically anywhere

Mary Macdonald

Loves doing people’s makeup, her favorite canvas is james because of his long eyelashes

Genuinely loves quidditch and finds it very interesting, but doesn’t want to play even if she’d probably be good at it

Absolutely beautiful singing voice, has sung Marlene and Lily to sleep many times

Marlene Mckinnon

Absolutely adores animals, has always thought very hard about what her animagus would be

Also shit at spelling but better than James

McGonagall’s favorite because she was so sweet her first year (Marlene has a crush on her and didn’t know)

Regulus Black

Very sentimental, has a box of things with his most important memories

Loves swimming, makes him feel more calm

Jealous of how smart Sirius is because unlike him he has to actually put in the work to get good marks

Dorcas Meadows

Loves making jewelry, will make them for her favorite people

Loves writing short stories and poetry, doesn’t have the patience to write for very long though

Casanova of Slytherin Tower. I will not be elaborating.

Barty Crouch Jr.

Incredibly good at reading people, to the point it’s almost scary

Very clumsy and on many occasions has woken up on the floor without realizing he fell

Very advanced vocabulary but doesn’t use proper grammar because it pisses everyone off

Evan Rosier

Very clean person, showers every night, incredibly organized, etc.

Not a very touchy person but gives the best hugs when he knows they’re needed (or unless it’s Barty.)

Hates reading, absolutely DESPISES it, no real reason he just can’t bring himself to enjoy it

Pandora Rosier

Loves making code languages; Regulus, Dorcas, and especially Evan understand them but Barty doesn’t and it pisses him off

Her favorite pastime is walking around outside barefoot by herself

Loves climbing on things; trees, people, counters, doesn’t matter, the higher the better

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Keepsafes

Fandom: Batman, DC Comics

Summary: AU where Martha and Thomas survive, and they adopt the batkids.

Chapters: 42/?

Characters: Bruce Wayne, Thomas Wayne, Martha Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Harvey Dent, Dick Grayson, Cassandra Cain, David Cain, Talia al Ghul, Damian Wayne, Jason Todd, Tim Drake

Relationships: Thomas Wayne/Martha Wayne/Alfred Pennyworth, BruHarvey, BruTalia

Additional Tags: Canon Divergent AU, Hurt/Comfort, Bruce Wayne is Not Batman, Angst, Alfred Pennyworth Knows All, Bruce Wayne Only Has One Child, Bruce Wayne is Not An Only Child, Bi Bruce Wayne

Chapter Forty-Two: Giselle

Thomas sat beside Cassandra at the ballet, watching in silent anticipation as the curtains parted. A man in a princely costume danced across the stage, and Cassandra leaped out of her balcony seat and stared intently at the dancer. The spotlights reflected in her eyes, accentuating her excitement. Without turning around, she reached behind herself for Thomas’ hand. He smiled, warmly indulging her by standing beside her and peering over the balcony’s edge. 

It reminded Thomas of one of his favorite memories. It was the post-World War II age of jazz music and luxurious dress codes. It was a cold time for his mother, but he remembered it as the first time they truly understood one another. It was the first time he’d truly felt different. The dazzling long silk cape belonging to his mother, pooled on the floor, the folds in the elegantly patterned silk danced as she walked. The click-clacking of her heels joined the symphony of women’s heels. In all her beauty and elegance, Thomas felt she was untouchable. Perhaps perfect. 

She turned around and with a cool-headed yet puzzled look, extended a gloved hand to him. He grabbed her hand, his eyes studying the carpets and velvets of the house as she let him catch up. The real magic didn’t start until the ballet did. Giselle. It was the first ballet he’d ever seen, and in almost the same exact spot, he stood, clutching his chest with one hand and a pair of opera glasses in the other. He didn’t dare cry. Not in front of his mother, but his heart was so deeply touched that he eagerly turned to her, stumbling forward with a lump in his throat. And with nearly perfect composure and a tear streaming down her cheek, she blew him a kiss. It was his happiest memory of his mother. 

His breath caught as he watched Cassandra’s eyes bounce along with the dancers. Giselle. It was the perfect moment between the two. The spark in her was different than the one he had as a child, though. It meant something different. She turned her head to look at him, and she tugged his arm until he bent forward allowing her to kiss his cheek. “I love you too, Cassie,” Thomas whispered. 

**

Harvey laid on Gilda’s chest as he slept on the couch. Gilda didn’t have the heart to wake him. It was the best sleep he’d gotten in months, and he’d been so affectionate lately. Fear Factor played in the background while she listened to Harvey’s steady breaths, reaching up to play with his hair until he stirred. She froze, calmly waiting for him to settle back in, and he nearly purred. “Don’t move yet,” Harvey whispered. 

“I’m not,” Gilda chuckled. 

“You smell so good. Genuinely. It’s that new perfume… It smells like you feel,” Harvey complimented her, “Am I heavy?” 

“Yeah, but it’s nice… Are you comfy?” Gilda questioned. Harvey pushed up onto his hands to kiss her. “Harvey? Did you dream?” 

His lips gently brushed hers as he slid his hand along her thigh. “A little… Not bad, though,” Harvey whispered between kisses. “Dreamed about you… I think I wanna—.” He turned his face so that their cheeks touched. “Gilda, I just wanna—. Just a little bit. If you’ll let me.”

Harvey reached underneath the t-shirt she wore, and she stopped him. “Condom?” Gilda whispered. 

“Do you want me to wear one?” Harvey asked. Gilda blinked hard. 

“You don’t want one?” Gilda asked. Harvey shook his head. “Are you sure? What if you—?”

“Do you not want me to do this?” Harvey asked in a soft tone of voice. 

Gilda kissed him hard and propped her foot up while she let Harvey inside her. “I want you,” Gilda replied. “What’s gotten into you lately?” 

Harvey tried to focus between thrusts, but he didn’t hear her question. “Huh?” Harvey asked.

“You’re different. Why are you different?” Gilda asked in reply. 

“Therapy stuff,” Harvey answered as he kissed her neck, and she nodded as he thumbed at her clit. “We had—. We had a kind of break—.” Gilda bit down on her lip as she pushed against his hand. 

Harvey put a little more pressure on, listening for the change in her breathing between pumps, and Gilda grabbed his arm. “Wait,” Gilda moaned as she grabbed his hand. He pressed down on her stomach as he rolled his hips and sped up. “Jesus… Right there. Right there. Right there.” She grunted as her whole body tensed and trembled. 

“Oh, fuck,” Harvey mumbled as he tried to slow down, but Gilda kept pushing against him, using the couch as leverage. “I can’t—. God.” Harvey came inside her and hiccupped as he pulled her closer. 

Gilda chuckled as she wrapped her arms around him. “Did you hiccup?” Gilda asked. 

“I—.” He hiccupped. “I did. The first time I ever cum inside somebody, and I get the hiccups.” Harvey hid his face in her shoulder, and she rubbed his back. 

“Why didn’t you say the first time you came inside me? Wait, you’ve never—? Not even—?”

Harvey hiccupped and shook as he lay there. “No. Just you… Gilda, I was so scared that I didn’t deserve to be a father. I mean—. I have these thoughts all the time. Violent thoughts, and I—. I feel so sick about them sometimes. I—.”

“You hate violence. Those are just thoughts, Harvey,” Gilda reassured him. Harvey hiccupped a little more, and Gilda made a sweet noise like a hum. “You are so gentle and thoughtful… Those thoughts aren’t reflective of you as a person. You’d be a wonderful father. I wouldn’t want to have a child with anyone else.” 

He nudged her collar out of the way with his nose to kiss her bare shoulder. “I grew up in a really unstable environment before I went to live with the Waynes… I don’t want to repeat that cycle with our kid,” Harvey whispered. 

“You’re nothing like your father,” Gilda reassured him, “Apollo?” 

Harvey chuckled and shook his head. “Don’t do that,” Harvey smiled. 

“It’s cute… But I need you to get up. I have to go pee,” Gilda chuckled. 

**

Bruce sat across from Dick at the table, splitting the last piece of his graduation cake. “How many days does it take to sail that far?” Dick asked. 

“Maybe twenty. Why? Are you gonna miss me?” Bruce teased. 

“You wish. I’m going to a gymnastics camp,” Dick replied. Bruce raised his eyebrows. “What? You don’t think I’m good enough?”

“I think you’re too good. If you weren’t so young, you’d be running your own camp,” Bruce replied. He took a sip of champagne out of a SpongeBob cup. 

“Yeah but at least I’ll get to be around other gymnasts. I don’t mind being treated like a freak at school, but it’d be nice to finally be around people like me,” Dick replied. 

“They still treat you like a freak at school?” Bruce asked. 

“Yeah, but I don’t want you dealing with it. The last time you helped me out, you convinced half the sixth grade that they were cursed. And you still won’t tell me what you did to freak everybody out like that,” Dick replied. 

“Leave it alone,” Bruce warned him. Dick crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. 

“Are you gonna say goodbye to Harvey?” Dick asked. 

Bruce leaned forward and chuckled defensively. “Yeah. I’m gonna say goodbye to him tomorrow,” Bruce answered. 

“All night?” Dick questioned. 

Bruce’s jaw tightened. “We can talk about it, but I won’t say a word if you’re gonna be a jerk,” Bruce muttered. 

“I just want to know,” Dick whispered. 

“Not a game, Dick. Not a game. You can be upfront or you can leave it alone,” Bruce whispered. 

Dick softened once he noticed the distress written all over Bruce’s face. “It’s not a question about you being gay or not. I just wanna know why you didn’t trust me enough to let me in on the secret,” Dick explained, “I thought you would’ve told me by now.” 

“It wasn’t that I didn’t trust you. I just—. How do I explain what I have with Harvey? I’m in love with him. Gilda’s in love with him. He loves us both, and we have an arrangement,” Bruce whispered, “And it’s deeply personal… It’s the only serious relationship I’ve ever been in for good reason.” 

Dick cocked his head. “Like Mom, Dad, and Alfred?” Dick questioned with a much gentler intent. 

“That’s an even longer story in itself… But the short answer is no. It’s not like that. The friendliness and friendship are there, but Gilda and I are just friends,” Bruce answered, “Did you figure all of this out by—?”

“They told me a long time ago. I think I was maybe twelve or thirteen. You do know that I’ve been all over? I’ve met a lot of people… You’re my brother. I’m sorry for hurting your feelings. I shouldn’t have been ribbing you like that. I forget it doesn’t feel the same as it would if you were—. It won’t happen again, Bruce,” Dick promised. Bruce shook his head. 

“No more secrets?” Bruce suggested as an olive branch. Dick reached across the table and shook his hand before flinching away.

“Tony Zucco,” Dick whispered. Bruce opened his mouth to speak. “I remembered hearing his name… But I—. I didn’t want to wake it up again. I’ve known for a while now.”

“I know… Dick, we’re gonna talk more about this when I get back. I wanna talk about this with you,” Bruce replied as he continued to eat. 

“Are you gonna—?”

“No… But I want you to promise me that you’ll sit on this until I get back. Can you do that?” Bruce asked. Dick nodded.

[charmedreincarnation]

hi i’m sorry for this small rant. i really hope you reply to it because i’m spiralling so bad. i have been listening to v powerful luckiest girl and get all your desires instantly forced subs and i had two really bad days and overall my life feels so shit and i feel like nobody gives a shit about me feel left out with my friends and am really regretting some past choices i have made as in subjects i chose to study. why do subs not work on me ever? i detach but subs just don’t work for me idk what should i do i want to enter the void and live my better/dream life but i keep failing and i’m so spiraling so hard rn. i am not even seeing small success i can’t even manifest my acne away or to grow a few inches how will i enter the void and magically change my life entirely. please help me out. how do i manifest or enter the void as soon as i can. i am being delululu living in 4d but yes ik if i am truly living in the end i shouldn’t have doubts but it’s been so many months when will i see results in my 3d. manifestion should be instant right. i’m sorry for my negativity i hope you have a great day

Hi love! I feel like any of this could be answered in another ask, but you seem really worried, so I'm going to answer it anyway!

First and foremost, you are allowed to have doubts. Just because you have doubts doesn't mean you're producing those thoughts. From a psychological perspective (which aligns with LOA), our thoughts are not entirely our own. This is a scientific truth, whether you believe in LOA or not. Scientists say that our thoughts are influenced by external factors such as our environment, upbringing, and the thoughts of others. Sound familiar? They also claim that we have the power to change our thoughts and create our own reality by consciously choosing the thoughts we entertain. So, just know that you're going to have doubts until the end, but as long as you categorize them as random thoughts and not your own beliefs, they don't matter! For example, if someone dressed as Chucky the doll jump-scared you and you started having "scary" thoughts about it, that doesn't mean you actually believe Chucky is real and coming to get you. You have psychological responses to certain things that have been ingrained and coded in you for a while now. What LOA does is help us intercept these false messages and reframe them as "useless" instead of messages we encode in our mind and assumption.

I've always been interested in psychology and neurology, and even though it doesn't directly relate to your question, it's important to mention that you do have a brain, and your brain is wired to act in certain ways. Once you're aware of why you're acting and believing certain things, it becomes way easier to understand that the 3D world is malleable. I really suggest reading books by authors like Joe Dispenza so you can understand yourself better. Also, watching YouTubers who explain anxiety and reading self-help books can provide helpful ways to manage your own anxiety.

The second thing is, if you don't believe in subliminals, I don't know why people do this, but if you don't have faith in something or assume it doesn't work for you, just use something you have a little faith in. For example, maybe you're more logical. You can read about brain waves and then listen to binaural beats for anxiety,manifesting, and faith. Have faith in it, because you'll understand and know that those waves genuinely change your brain's alignment. That's just one example, but subliminals are not the only type of audios out there. There are many other methods to explore.

Also, meditation is very helpful. Not just to reach the void, but do you know how many conscious thoughts we have in a day? On average, it is estimated that a person has around 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts per day. These thoughts can range from conscious, deliberate thoughts to automatic, repetitive thoughts. That doesn't even include the number of unconscious thoughts we have, which is probably 100k+. You constantly have these little things running around in your head, trying to keep you alive, keeping you repeating the same thought patterns, beliefs, and assumptions. You can't consciously control them most of the time, but your brain and mind are working overtime 24/7. It's not your fault, so that's why meditation can help you. Not just to reach the void, though you can tap into that using some form of meditation as well, but to clear your mind and then it’s there it will be better to affirm and believe you can do whatever you desire. If you're not truly embodying the desired state, which you're not because you sent this ask, do you think a few measly affirmations can counteract the hundreds of thousands of thoughts you've been having every day since birth, most of which you don't even know exist? Affirmations do work, but trust me, I've been where you're at and worse. This is not the state to solely rely on "miracle affirmations" because you won't believe them, and when something doesn't happen, you'll just want to give up and confirmation bias will make you subconsciously think, "Well, see? I knew it. It isn’t real" But in reality, your mind is just looking for proof to align with your negative beliefs.

I know you say you haven't manifested anything, but can you really think back to something you thought was a "coincidence" or something you didn't really ask for but it just appeared? We usually brush those off as just the world at play or a small world, but nope, that was you. Maybe you don't have clear skin or whatever your desire may be, but as you probably know, that's because you've put it on a pedestal compared to all the other "small" but great things you've manifested

I know you probably wanted me to tell you exactly what to do, but I genuinely don't know you the way you know yourself - your own self, mind, and behaviors. You know best, fr! I could have said anything I've said before, like imagination is the real reality, the 3D being malleable, if you can see and feel it you can manifest it, try SATs or lucid dreaming lalala. But I've learned that you know what you have to do. Sit and meditate to learn about yourself and your mind, and why you think what you think. What past experiences do you still hold onto, reliving them in your mind and creating assumptions that no longer serve you? They can still affect you, we are humans and emotions cling to us like bees to honey, and that's okay. But we need to start moving those experiences into the past and start creating with what we are now, which is the present. Any given moment is a time to say, 'Okay, this doesn't serve me anymore, and this does. I don't want this life anymore, I want this type of life,' and consciously start creating with those desires instead.

Acknowledge your doubts, they're just doubts, and they're really just an extension of life factors that have been slowly consuming your mind. You may have them, but as a god, do you have them? No. But as a human, you are influenced by them, and who cares? You know who you are and your power now, so if you disregard them, work around them. But I can't tell you what to do because I'm not you! I wholeheartedly believe that you will get through this because I have as well and the lows are just apart of your journey as the success as corny as it sounds. But when you do succeed I promise you’ll back to this movement and just be very happy you didn’t give up despite how hard it was 💝