#but can she cook?who knows? but shes doing a shit job of convincing that she can

[sleepyminty]

My favorite death mark headcanon michiho is the type of person who mixed food into one cursed enity. Like ramen chocolate or rice cream just so that she could petrified himeko cuz why not

[heavyhitterheaux]

Steady Love (Slight NSFW)

Synopsis: After Joe learns of a secret that you've been keeping from him, he has a big decision to make on whether the relationship is worth saving and if he can accept it

Pairing: Joe Burrow x Reader

Do not engage if underage

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

Joe was deep in thought as he was on a popular restaurant's website looking at their menu to see everything that they offered. He knew that you, his girlfriend, was extremely picky and had a shit ton of allergies and had to make sure they had options that you could pick from.

He was convinced that your diet consisted of chicken nuggets and iced coffee and got on you all the time about it. His goal was to take you there for date night seeing as you had both been busy all week and now you were going to spend the weekend with him before going to his game on Sunday.

The restaurant had amazing reviews and the person who had told him about it and also made the reservation for it was Ja'Marr who was also on the phone, as Joe had put it on speaker so that he was able to talk to him and look at the website at the same time.

“I think Y/N is hiding something from me.” He blurted out as it had been on his mind for the last few days and he thought that he was going to explode if he didn't say anything to someone soon. He figured that telling one of his best friends was a good choice.

“Wait, what? That was random. Why do you say that? Your girl literally worships the ground you walk on and you do the same thing with her.”

“Something just seems off. I find her sometimes going to a different room to answer her phone, which she protects with her damn life by the way.”

“Don't we all? That doesn't mean anything.”

“No, not like she does. And do you know that I've never stayed at her place before?”

“Huh? The two of you have been together for what seems like forever.” Ja'Marr asked as he was moving around his kitchen and trying to find something to snack on.

“A few months but it's weird. Whenever I propose the idea, she immediately shuts it down. Claiming that my house is closer to her job, which is true but I don't know.”

“I think you’re paranoid and probably thinking too much into this. Y/N is amazing and she can do no wrong in my eyes.”

“Because you love whenever she cooks and tells me to invite you over too, but what if I'm right?”

“Hey! That just happens to be a plus but if you're right then confront her about it and the two of you act like adults and go from there. Just keep in mind she's making me salted caramel cookies next week. Don't mess up my supply.”

“Your supply? You act like we're talking about drugs when we are literally talking about cookies. And she just seemed so stressed out this week so the last thing I want to do is send her over the edge.”

“When it comes to her cooking, it might as well be crack! It's addicting! Look, if it comes up then you two talk about it and if it doesn't just wait for the right time. I'm sure that there's a good explanation to all of this.”

“I'm ignoring the part about the crack.”

“But you didn't ignore it because you just mentioned it.”

“Talking to you should not stress me out as much as it does.” Joe replied as he rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair.

“Keep in mind, YOU called me and I made the reservation for you so be nice!”

“Mm hmm.”

“Look, just let me know how it goes once you talk to her.”

Later on that evening, the two of you were now sitting across from one another in a secluded corner of the restaurant sharing the dessert that you had picked out. Joe wasn't one to eat a lot of sweets during the season, however for you he'll always make an exception.

You held your fork up to Joe's mouth and was encouraging him to take a bite but he was looking at you suspiciously before looking at the dessert and then looking back at you.

“Joey! Open!”

“Um.. what is this again?”

“It's a pistachio cheesecake. It's good, come on taste it.”

“It looks weird. And wait! Aren't you allergic to pistachios?”

“No, I got an allergy test done recently and apparently I'm not allergic anymore.”

“How reliable is that? The last thing I need is your throat closing. Do you have benadryl just in case? I'm about to call 911 so that they can be on standby.”

“I planned for my throat to close around something else tonight, but yes.” You told Joe as you winked at him.

Being caught off guard by your comment, his eyes went wide but he quickly recovered as he sent a smirk in your direction.

“Oh, is that so?”

“Mm hmm, I haven't seen you all week so I'm excited to spend the entire weekend with you which also includes plenty of activities that do not require clothes. This week was a lot and I really needed to be around you so this was absolutely perfect. Did you pick the place or did Ja'Marr?”

“We'll definitely get to that later. I know this week was a lot for you and there were a lot of things happening so I'm happy you're spending the entire weekend with me. And yes, it was Ja'Marr’s idea. I had never been here before and he recommended it.”

“Doesn't surprise me since you're such a homebody. I'm going to have to make him more cookies for that one.”

“All of my snacks and streaming services are at home. What do I need to leave for? And no, absolutely not. He's starting to stalk me just for your cookies. Any time he calls me now it's about you and your cooking. First thing out of his mouth is if you were at my house and if you cooked anything and if he can come over.” Joe told you as he laughed with you joining in with him.

“Okay, now open.”

“This better not be nasty.”

“Joey! Stop acting like you're five and open!” He did as he was told and slowly started to chew with his head nodding in approval.

“It's not bad, but I know something that tastes even better and I've been craving it all week actually.”

“What? You said you had never been here before.”

“I was talking about my girlfriend sitting on my face.”

—

“Get over here and stop running from me.” Joe told you as he pulled you back onto his California king bed since you were literally about a few centimeters from hitting the floor.

“I am nowhere done with you. Keep in mind you talked all that shit in the car on the way back and now look, a whimpering dripping mess underneath of me. So wet for me.” He whispered in your ear as he once again inserted two of his fingers into you, pumping them at an even and slow pace knowing that it would get you that much closer.

His fingers slipped out and he held them up to your mouth as you opened and sucked on them.

“See how good you taste?” Joe asked as he leaned down to place several kisses on your lips and slipped inside you at the same time making you gasp and quickly wrap your arms around his neck.

“Look at my pretty girl, she's taking me so well.”

He placed his hand around your neck and slightly squeezed, but not too tight as he increased his pace moving in and out of you.

Your moans were the only thing that you could get to come out of your mouth because of how much pleasure that you were in and knew that you being sore later was inevitable.

“Taking me so well that she can't even utter a single word, huh? This dick got you speechless?” Joe laughed, but was caught off guard when you suddenly flipped him onto his back and began to ride him.

“Damn, wasn't expecting that.”

“Not quite speechless, but you're about to be once I finish riding you.” You explained to him as you smirked with him taking hold of your hips in order to help guide you.

“Come on then, princess. Let's get to it.”

It was now three in the morning and you were wrapped into Joe's tight embrace when your phone began to vibrate violently on the nightstand.

Quickly picking it up to look at it, you were startled go see that it was Jayson, your daughters father and slowly moved from Joe in order to hopefully not wake him up and went into the master bathroom and closed the door behind you to answer it.

“Jayson, what's going on?”

“It's Nalanie. She won't stop crying and she's simply asking for you. She kept asking me to call you and wouldn't take no for an answer.”

“Just hand her the phone.”

“Hello?”

“Mom! I…” She started to say, but couldn't continue her sentence without crying.

“I'm coming, okay? Be there soon.” You comforted her and quickly hung up as you made your way back into the bedroom to still see Joe resting peacefully.

You quickly started moving around with the use of the flashlight on your phone to be able to see and this made Joe wake up and he quickly sat up to reach over to turn on the bedside lamp.

“Uh? Baby? What are you doing?”

“Looking for my clothes, I need to leave.” You told him as you had discovered your outfit that you had worn earlier all the way by the bedroom door suddenly remembering that Joe wasted no time in taking it off of you.

“Why? What's wrong? Did something happen?” He asked while you were hurrying to get dressed and you ignored his question. Not on purpose, but because you had no idea what you were about to walk into once you left there and went and got Nalanie.

Seeing how frantic you were, Joe pulled you over to him since he was sitting on the bed still to try and calm you down.

“Joey, I...”

“You need to breathe for a second and then tell me what's going on with you. You have me worried. What can I do to help you?”

“Just…. let me go please. I want to tell you but…”

“But what? You tell me everything. Or at least I thought you told me everything.” He replied as he took your smaller hand in his large one.

You hesitated before you answered him and it was clear by the look on your face that you didn't want to. The man in front of you had always been honest with you since the two of you had gotten together and it was necessary for you to do the same thing in return. He never deserved to be lied to despite your reasoning for it.

In your mind, you didn't necessarily lie to him, but you definitely didn't tell him the truth either.

“I just got off the phone with my daughter. She was crying and scared and I could barely make out what she was saying. I need to go get her from her father's house. I promise to explain more after I know that she's okay.”

“Wait, what? You’re joking right? Since when do you have a daughter?” Joe asked dumbfounded and he was waiting for the punchline of the joke that just came out of your mouth.

“Since I got pregnant when I was a teenager. Joey, I promise I'll explain but not now. Move so I can get up.” You said as tears were threatening to fall down your face.

“So you mean to tell me that you lied to me? And you've been lying to me this entire time?! I knew that something was off with you and I was right! What else are you hiding?! Are there more kids that I don't know about? Why would you lie about something like that?”

“Nothing. I'm not hiding anything else, I promise.” You said as you slipped on your shoes.

“Hmm, your promises have now been proven to come up empty so I don't want to even hear it. Just do what you have to do.”

“Joey…”

“No, I don't want to hear it. I hope your daughter is okay, but….”

“But what?”

“How am I supposed to be with someone who lies to me? Especially something as big as that?”

“It’s not that simple. I'll explain if you just give me the chance.”

“Oh, but it is. Get your stuff and you can leave.”

“I… fine.” You told him as you grabbed your overnight bag from the chair in the corner and your cell phone that had been placed on the nightstand after you had gotten that frantic call.

You looked at your keys and quickly took the key to Joe's condo off and left it on the nightstand that was closest to his side of the bed.

Without another word, you walked out of his bedroom and down the steps to eventually make it to your car. Once your belongings were in the backseat, the water works that you had been trying so hard to hold in, made themselves known and it was like a dam had broken.

After sitting there for a few minutes and giving yourself a pep talk, you made your way to Nalanie's father's house to make sure that she was okay.

It didn't take long before you were knocking on the front door and it was whisked open by Nalanie herself who then placed you in a bone crushing hug as tears were still streaming down her face. You rubbed small circles along her back as you kissed her cheek in order to get her to calm down.

“Lady Bug, are you going to tell me what's wrong? I'm here now and you're okay.”

She slowly nodded her head and broke her embrace from you and moved to the side so that you would be able to come into the house. Once she did, you were greeted by Jayson and his wife Sabrina who had come from the kitchen in order to greet you.

“Hey, she’s been like this for the past hour. Won't say anything to us. All she wanted was you.” Sabrina told you as she hugged you.

You nodded your head before also hugging Jayson, but Nalanie stayed quiet.

“Lady Bug?”

“Can we just go home?” She quietly asked and the first thing you did was nod.

“Go get your things and meet me back down here.”

Nalanie took the steps two at a time before Jayson looked at you and sighed.

“I was trying to handle it without us calling you, but I didn’t know what else to do. Anddd I just realized I ruined date night for you. How's you know who by the way?”

“Very upset with me because he found out about her like this before I could tell him properly and I think we just broke up? I had literally planned on telling him in the next two weeks or so and I was going to tell her too. But it's not important right now. What is important is my daughter so, if he can't accept her then he's not the one for me.”

“He's probably more upset about finding out in the way he did and not the fact that you have her.”

“Either way, we're probably done, so…”

“Don't give up on him so easily, he may surprise you.” Sabrina said before walking back into the kitchen.

“Just see how it plays out. This is the happiest that I've ever seen you and I would hate for you to miss out on that. Just give him time to process.” Jayson told you and you simply nodded as Nalanie reappeared with all of her bags in tow.

Nalanie said her goodbyes to her father and Sabrina and you picked one of her many bags up off the floor to carry outside. You never understood why she needed so many bags for a three day weekend, but then again she was your child and simply took after you when you thought about how you would do the exact same thing.

The two of you were now home and as soon as you opened the door, you wasted no time in asking her what was wrong.

“Okay, out with it.”

“I got my period and got really scared.”

“Oh, Lady Bug, that is nothing to be scared about. It happens to everyone that has a uterus.”

“I know that I could have asked Sabrina, but I just wanted you. I remember you telling me about what to do if you weren't around and it happened so I took a pad from underneath the sink. I'm sorry that I took you away from whatever you were doing.”

“Don't apologize. You needed me and never ever apologize for needing me. So, how about this?”

“What?”

“Take a bath, put on pajamas and we'll sleep. When we wake up, I'll do your makeup and your hair while we watch Mean Girls?”

“Ooh, deal! Can we make popcorn too?”

“Of course we can and then we're going on a snack run. You can't be on your period and not have a supply of chocolate and ice cream in the house.”

It had been almost an entire two weeks and Joe's finger kept hovering over your number as he debated on calling you while he sat in his living room.

This had happened ever since he had told you to leave that night. The guilt crept in not too long after he had heard you close the front door and he debated on running after you, but decided against it.

He admits that he should've given you a chance to explain everything, but in that moment he was too mad to even listen to one. He couldn't begin to wrap his mind around how you have a daughter.

His mind kept going to you and quickly decided that after practice was over and he was home that he would call you and hopefully you wanted to talk to him, but he honestly wouldn't blame you if you had told him no.

Thinking that it was now or never, he pushed down with his thumb on your number and the phone began to dial.

It rang for a while and Joe was about to hang up, before he heard your soft voice come through the phone.

“Hello?”

“Um, hey.” Joe responded hesitantly.

“Surprised to hear from you. Did you dial the wrong number by chance?” You curiously asked as you were fumbling through your kitchen cabinets looking for ideas on what to make for dinner for you and Nalanie.

“No, I wanted to talk to you. Are you busy right now?”

Startled by this, you placed the box of macaroni noodles on the counter and sat down at the island, trying to take in what he had just asked you.

“No, not at the moment. I'm free to talk.”

“Uh, can we do this in person? I would rather do that than talk on the phone.”

“Sure, I can be over there in 15 minutes.” You told him as you glanced down at your watch. After going over there to see him, you would have to go straight to Nalanie's middle school to pick her up from practice.

“Okay, I'll leave the door open for you.”

It didn't take you very long to get there as you had anticipated, but the anxiety of seeing Joe again after the two of you had left things was starting to kick in.

Maybe this was a formal break up?

No, he probably just wants an explanation and as far as you could tell he was long overdue to hear the truth from you about everything.

Reaching his condo, you pulled into the driveway before getting out of your car and walking up to the door. Turning the handle, it was open just like Joe had promised and a deep breath escaped your mouth before turning it and walking inside.

You found him in the living room and he gave you a small smile before getting up to hug you which caught you off guard. You tightly hugged him back just in case that was the last time that you were able to do it.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

The two of you were now sitting next to each other and Joe was the first to speak.

It was time to get it over with. Now or never.

“Y/N, why would you keep something like that from me? And you've done it for MONTHS. I'm just trying to understand.” he asked you, trying to make sense of the situation. He simply couldn't believe that you lied to him and lied to him about something as big as this.

“I wanted to tell you when I felt that the time was right. Please understand that. I had actually planned on doing it soon, but then everything happened so…..” You quietly said, but all he did was shake his head.

“And when did you exactly plan on doing that? At this rate, you probably weren't about to tell me until we got married.”

“That is not fair and you know it!”

“I knew something was up when you would go to another room to answer phone calls, never let me stay at your place with you and always shut down the idea when I asked, leaving early from date night. I care about you, so you could at the very least let me know what was happening. Even if you weren't ready for me to meet her.”

“I just didn't want her to get attached to you just in case we didn't end on the best terms. It's happened before in the past and I don't want her to be disappointed again. And I also didn't know how you were going to take it.”

“Hmm, I would have dealt with it because I love and care about you. But I see that you obviously don't give me enough credit. If something or in this case, SOMEONE is important to you, they're important to me too. How old is she anyway?”

“She just turned thirteen.” You quietly said and Joe's eyes went wide.

“I still can't believe you tried to hide the fact that you have a child from me.”

“Like I said, I was going to tell you. If you don't want to be with me anymore because I kept this from you, I get it. I think you made that pretty clear two weeks ago. I ultimately was just trying to protect her.” You quietly said feeling defeated.

Even though Joe was definitely upset with you, he moved closer to you and took your hand in his and started rubbing small circles on the back of it.

“What's her name?” He asked and from that point on, the light in your eyes returned.

“Nalanie Rue. But I've always called her Lady Bug. When I brought her home from the hospital and we were walking outside with her to get into the car, one landed on her nose and it's been her name since. I never call her by her real name unless she's in trouble, which isn't often. She's a really good kid and I honestly couldn't have asked for more. I'm really proud to be her mom.” You confessed as you told Joe about your daughter.

“I see the way you lit up when I asked you about her.”

“I got pregnant when I was 15 and was obviously scared out of my mind. I tried to hide it from my parents for a while but then my mom noticed that I wasn't using the tampons or pads she would put in my bathroom every month for me and she confronted me about it. They’ve always supported me even though I know deep down that they think that I robbed myself of my childhood, which is fair in a sense. I couldn't really go out with my friends unless I took her with me.”

“And you get along with her father? I'm assuming he is in the picture since he's the one who called you first?”

“Yes, he was there from day one when I told him and didn't back down. He's a year older than me. He got a job and would buy her as much as he could. Jayson. He's amazing to her and they have a good relationship. We're still close and he’s married now. But his wife treats Nalanie like she's hers and that's the best thing I could have asked for. I really lucked out because I know a lot of other people aren't as fortunate. My only prayer was that whoever he decided to marry would do right by her.”

“When did she meet his wife?”

“Literally right before he proposed to her and that was something that we both agreed on, but she did know about her. We never bring anyone around her unless we're absolutely sure that they'll be there for the long haul because both of us have messed up in the past with that. We want to protect her like I said before.” You honestly said and Joe was taking in everything that you had told him.

“And I told Jayson about you, but not Nalanie. From his perspective and the way that I talk about you he's really happy for me and all for it. But he did say that he wanted her to meet you. It might also help that you're his favorite player but who knows.” You said to Joe and a small smirk broke out onto his face.

“You're the one calling the shots here. I just want you to do whatever you're comfortable with. I would love to meet her whenever you feel that the time is right. But Y/N….”

“Hmm?” You asked as you turned once more to look at him and he sighed before answering you.

“You can't keep things like this from me. We've been together for a while and you know better than anyone how much I'm going to be there to support you with whatever is going on in your life, just like you do for me. No more secrets. Promise me. I get your reasoning behind it, but you having a daughter was not going to be a dealbreaker for me.”

“Promise. No more secrets from here on out.” You replied back to him as he leaned over to place a kiss on your forehead. He relaxed into the couch as you brought your head slightly to the left to be able to lean against his chest as he wrapped his arms around you.

“Do you want to see what she looks like?” You asked Joe at the same time that you had reached for your phone, not really waiting for an answer.

You never wasted an opportunity to show off your daughter and let people know how proud you were of her.

Joe nodded as you went to your gallery and pulled up the most recent photos of the two of you and moved it closer so that he could see it.

“She literally looks just like you.”

“My little twin. Everyone says the same thing when they see her except she's a little taller than me. She is literally my baby. I cried when she turned thirteen. I can't wrap my head around me now having a teenager.”

“And you’re going to do such an amazing job with her. I can see that you already are.”

“Well if you're ready to meet her, we can do it tomorrow. It's Thursday and she likes football just as much as her parents do.”

“How about football and an ice cream date? Does she like ice cream?”

“She does. Mint chocolate chip is her favorite and I always tell her how weird she is because I never met a kid that said that was their favorite flavor. Oh, and I should tell you something….”

“That's wild that she likes that flavor, but what is it?”

“The Bengals are her favorite team and for good reason but…”

“But what?”

“Ja'Marr is her favorite player so she is going to interrogate you about him.” You confessed as you stifled a laugh and Joe held his hand over his heart pretending that he was hurt.

“But I think the two of you will get along just fine.”

“Oh, and I think you'll need this back.” Joe told you as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the key that you had left on his nightstand.

Staying over with Joe lasted around forty five minutes until you told him about going to get Nalanie from practice. Once you had picked her up and the two of you were eating dinner and watching Netflix, you figured that it was a good time to tell her about meeting Joe tomorrow and nudged her to get her attention as she was sitting next to you on the couch.

“I have something that I want to tell you.”

“Okay, I'm listening. Is everything okay?” She replied as she turned to look at you.

“Everything's fine. I want you to meet someone really special to me tomorrow after you get home from school. We're going to get ice cream and…”

“MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP!”

“Yes, you can have that disgusting flavor and we'll watch Thursday Night Football with him.” You told her as you turned up your nose and she promptly stuck her tongue out at you.

“That is literally the best flavor of ice cream, you are such a hater. But wait a minute… him?”

“Yes, him.” You replied as you nodded your head.

“Hmm, I have to approve. I need to make sure that he's good enough to be in a relationship with my mom. If the two of you are in a relationship that is.” She said as she narrowed her eyes at you suspiciously.

“We are and I forgot how overprotective that you can get but I definitely think that the two of you will get along really well. You two like a lot of the same things including football.” You said as you thought about her probably wanting to go to every Bengals game once she meets Joe.

“In my eyes, only very few people meet my expectations of being good enough for you. And I want to see you happy, but you look happy so I guess he's doing something right so I'm okay with it. And I know he must be important because I never meet anyone that you date.”

“And be nice. No interrogating.”

“No promises.”

You and Joe agreed to meet at one of your favorite ice cream stands that wasn't too far from your job and you found yourself going there sometimes when you got a break to destress by eating a treat that you knew was going to satisfy your craving. It also had a small park nearby and that's where you planned on meeting him.

Nalanie was actually bouncing off the walls and very excited to meet the mystery man, or it was the fact that she was going to get ice cream in the middle of the week.

It was probably the latter.

The two of you were in line and you were about to pay for your ice cream as well as Nalanie's when you felt a presence behind you. You got a whiff of the cologne that you grew to love so much and knew that it was your boyfriend. Joe then slipped the cashier his card as you shook your head and smiled while Nalanie was looking around confused.

“Wait, mom, where's your man? Is he late? I thought he was supposed to be here already. And why is Joe Burrow here? Wait! Is Ja'Marr here too?” She asked as she was looking around to see if she could spot her favorite player.

“Lady bug, this is my boyfriend Joe and Joe this is my daughter Nalanie.”

“It's nice to meet you Nalanie, your mom has told me all about you.” Joe told her and she slowly nodded her head up and down indicating that she was still taking everything in.

At that moment, her eyes went wide.

“I.. wow… It's nice to meet you too. I had this whole speech in my head to interrogate you with but now I can't remember a word of it.”

“Nalanie! I said NO interrogating!”

“He seems like he would be able to take it anyway.” She told you and you shook your head at her.

“I didn't bring Ja'Marr, but maybe next time. Since someone did tell me that he was your favorite player.”

“Don't be jealous, you're a close second.” She replied as she smiled.

Over the next several months, you watched as Joe and Nalanie grew closer and was happy that they were building such a good relationship with one another. There were even a few conversations that had happened regarding the two of you moving in with him and of course Nalanie was all for it, but you on the other hand wanted a little bit more time before you came to a final decision about it. Joe told you that there was absolutely no rush and that the offer would stand.

It was currently Friday and you were stuck in traffic due to an accident as you were on your way to get Nalanie. You didn't want to keep her waiting and since it was her weekend with you instead of spending it with her dad, you quickly asked Joe if he could get her for you.

You- Joey, I'm stuck in traffic, could you go and get Nalanie for me? But only if you aren't busy. I owe you for this.

Joey- You don't owe me anything and of course I'll go and get her. We'll wait for you before we decide on dinner.

You- Thank you, I love you 😘💕

Joey- I love you more and be safe.

Nalanie was surprised to see Joe instead of you as he pulled up in his Porsche, but quickly slipped into the passenger seat as Joe had leaned over to open the door for her.

“Hey, where's my mom? Not that I’m not happy to see you or anything.” She told him as she brought the seatbelt across her body.

“Stuck in traffic so she asked me to come and get you. We'll decide on dinner once she gets back. How was your day at school?”

“Hmm, it was okay, but this boy Cody is convinced that girls don't know more about football then boys so we got into an argument at lunch about it.”

“Did you know that there are more women who actually watch it then men do?” Joe told her and she quickly nodded.

“See!? And that's what I told him. I was firing off all these stats about my favorite players, you were included, and he was just looking at me like he didn't know what I was talking about.”

One thing Joe knew Nalanie was passionate about was football and sports in general and that you and her were never one to back down from an argument or discussion regarding it.

“He sounds like he talks a big game, but can't back it up.”

“I'm convinced that his head is full of air instead of a brain.”

“You literally sound just like your mother.” Joe told her as he laughed and came to a slow stop at a red light.

“I have a question. Well, two actually.”

“Ask away.” Joe told her as the light turned green.

“Well first, when are you going to marry my mom? She's really happy with you and I can tell.”

Hearing Nalanie ask this caught him off guard, but he quickly composed himself.

“Hmm, funny you should ask. Can you keep a secret? And I also wanted to ask you something.” He said and she quickly nodded.

“I already got her ring, just have to plan when I'm going to do it. And I wanted to ask your permission too, because I feel that it's important.”

“Really!? Well you already know that my answer is yes. I already consider you my bonus dad and that's a plus. This is the happiest that I've ever seen her. What does it look like? Can I see it?”

A million thoughts were running through Nalanie's head about how excited she was about the entire thing. She finally felt that now her family would be complete.

“I have it hidden in my room, hoping she doesn't find it but I'll show you later. What was your next question?”

“Are you two going to have a baby? Or babies? I like the idea of at least three. I want a sibling or siblings to play with.”

“I… you are so full of questions today.”

“I only asked you two questions and you are definitely stalling. I guess all that media training has led you to be able to learn how to dodge questions.”

“I'm not dodging the question!”

“Lies! Then answer it!”

At that moment, Joe's phone rang indicating that it was you and quickly answered it as Nalanie made a face at him.

“Saved by the phone call. But I'm definitely going to ask again later.”

It was around eight at night when you were painting Nalanie's nails on the floor in the living room while Joe was sitting on the couch behind both of you and she noticed that you kept glancing at her.

“Uh, mom? Everything okay? You literally only do that when you have something that you want to tell me.” She asked as you were now painting a second coat. This also caught Joe's attention and he quickly looked over at you.

“Well there is something….” You said as you gestured for her to put her hand in the nail dryer.

“What is it?” She asked as she looked between the two of you and you looked at Joe to give him permission to tell her.

“I think that the role of being a big sister is going to look pretty good on you.” Joe told her and her mouth was now hanging wide open.

“Now I see why you didn't answer my question earlier.”

“Wait, what question?” You asked her and she sent a smile in your direction.

“I asked him when the two of you were going to give me a sibling, but I see that was clearly already in the works. I want at least three by the way.” She told you as she pointed to your midsection.

“Umm, we'll have to see about that and we wanted to make sure that everything was okay before we said anything about it.”

“Well I'm excited for that obviously and now I guess there's only one more part left.”

“And what part is that?”

“The part where you two get married and then we'll be a family for real.”

Taglist:

@hoodharlow

@a-moment-captured

@wickedfun9

@dandelionwrites8

@keiva1000

[girlwtdragontattoo]

headcanon: how some of the bg3 camp members cook

wyll and karlach always cook together, karlach heats up the pan or sears fish and meat with her hands while wyll gleefully cuts up veggies. he‘ll usually tell some story while karlach listens like a little kid. they make decent food, camp is usually quite content with the quality. astarion will always say „a la karlach“, when he eats a piece of grilled meat or fish. they really enjoy each other’s company and karlach likes to learn new things. halsin favors natural stuff. he’ll start off with glazing figs or dates in honey or just cutting veggies and fruit in cool shapes. but then: the raw meat shit starts. he’ll talk your ears off about how nature intends meat or fish to be eaten raw bc otherwise it eliminates all the vitamins and nutrients. tav will initially try and have to stop themselves from gagging, while halsin watches excitedly. camp usually tries to plan vegetarian options, when it‘s the bear‘s turn to cook. gale THINKS he can cook. like is truly convinced he‘s a master chef. he refuses to use magic since he „knows what he‘s doing“. this is a man who will destroy any piece of fish or meat he has in front of him bc he has no idea how to debone or cut meat properly. he thinks some mushrooms aren‘t poisonous when cooked to smithereens (even though they def still are). he will slave around the pot and think he made the best thing ever only for tav to have to stop laezel from spitting it out in front of the poor guy. it‘s usually mushy, unseasoned (or undercooked) and gives camp a stomachache. jaheira always volunteers to make something in addition, a salad or a dessert so at least something is edible. jaheira actually knows what she’s doing. cooks very homely and keeps giving people more food than they need. “you’re too skinny”, she says as she plops another portion onto astarion’s half-eaten plate who’s already extremely full. she’ll scold karlach for ignoring her veggies, but will sneak a lot of them in the sauce. she’ll secretly find out what the groups’ favorite meals are and surprise them with reminders of childhood or home. while she’s cooking, everyone has a job. wyll cuts veggies, shadowheart washes dishes, laezel helps tenderize meat, she’ll send gale on a useless errand so he doesn’t screw anything up in the kitchen, tav makes the plates, halsin picks flowers and makes sure gale is busy, astarion makes sure the wine is airing properly, karlach helps with dessert. shadowheart is the ultimate almond mom. her meals are always a protein with a heap load of salad and an apple as “dessert”. the portions are tinyyyyyy and she will say she’s full after two bites. no one is really that full after she cooks, but it’s definitely healthy and tastes decent. could use some seasoning. astarion cooks very well, but is a massive diva in the kitchen. he will shoo everyone away or hiss when someone touches a kitchen utensil he just put there on purpose and it needs to stay there so he knows where it is. he’ll keep mumbling “no one ever helps me”. it’s usually super fancy and he will explain in detail everything he did and how he achieved the specific aroma or aftertaste no one can actually taste. it tastes amazing though. after he cooks, he sleeps like a log. laezel cooks essentials, like very „it’s all you need“, and it looks like it too. plating is not a thing for her, she will plop it onto a plate and basically throw it at you. if some things fall off…that’s a you problem. it's usually very protein heavy with just a whole paprika or onion on the plate. what she will make is a spicy as fuck sauce. it tastes amazing, but some members in the camp won’t be able to handle it well. her typical “tchk” will sound through the camp when shadowheart complains about the heat.

i will add more upon request and with ideas :)

[alaskan-wallflower]

what each of the boys major/minor in

note i have my own version of post covid. it’s an AU and I recognize that. What I’m doing is an AU. so. keep that in mind.

Cartman

Cartman majors in business

i mean-look at how he was in Dikinbaus. He would be really good at business. He’s really good at bribing people to buy his shit

He’s also smarter than people give him credit for. He just has no motivation.

He minors in food science.

I like to headcanon that once Liane realized she was spoiling Cartman she kinda locked in (like she did in HumanCentiPad) and teaches him how to cook.

He actually comes to enjoy it and he seemed to have some knowledge of food science beforehand so

Stan

Animal science major. You can’t convince me otherwise.

He becomes a veterinarian in the future. He works with pets, though he got a job at a zoo at some point (he hates putting animals down)

Hes really gentle with animals. He’s one of those people that thinks dogs are better than people/hj

He minors in biochemistry

I already know some of you are thinking ‘Oh WhY nOt MuSiC?’ but like…realistically I don’t think science and music would really clash together when it comes to jobs

I think he recognizes that. So he does Crimson Dawn on the side when he’s free.

Kyle

This was the toughest ngl

He majors in Psychology

I like to headcanon he becomes a therapist. He likes helping people. Hes compassionate. And no, I don’t wanna hear the ‘Oh He DoeSnT UndErStAnD dEprEsSiOn How CaN hE dO pSycH’ like he was nine at the time

I think he would be the type of person to do research on the side about mental diseases because he wants to learn

And hear me out on this. He originally wanted to major in law. I feel like his dad would be big on ‘having his oldest son carry the family name on’ but Kyle ends up not enjoying it so he drops out

He double minors in political science and philosophy

He seems very high on his morals, so I think he would find interest in philosophy, a place where he can express his moral opinions

And he’s great at debate. So I like to think he would go into political science. Not just because he likes debate but also so he can say he’s ’qualified to talk about this because he’s a minor in political science’

Kenny

Okay okay but imagine Engineer Kenny

He’s creative. He has the ideas. He has the ability. I like to think he worked a lot of odd jobs and got really into building things. And he decided he wanted to do that in his life.

I like to think he’s actually really smart. He just doesn’t really have the best home situation so he isn’t given as many opportunities as he would’ve liked.

Although I also like to think that he would buckle down in high school and actually gets into the top five for his class. He applies to pretty good schools and gets a near full ride for some of them. But anyway, I’m yapping too much

As for a minor, he, like Kyle, double minors. in accounting and math.

He wants to make sure nobody has economic issues like he had. And he has a leg up in what he does because he’s dealt with money his whole life practically.

He’s fairly good at math. Plus he’s already got a leg up, like I said.

ahe really pushes himself in college to become someone who can help people who were in the same situations as him. So he works hard and actually does good.

[mybeautifulwifegojo]

fuck it, vampire au where Satoru was the brightest star of Japan's monster-hunting society and then he got turned by some rando and in a fit of rage killed him and nearly 200 civilians. For this unspeakable act Gojo Satoru was bound and gagged and sealed in a cave behind a waterfall that used to be a holy site.

400 years later, Sasaki and Iguchi have a semi-popular YouTube series about scary places in Japan, and Yuji is their Resident Skeptic who really does want to support his friends, but like. ain't no way there's ACTUALLY a demon sealed in that old cave that's been cordoned off since the 80s. no fucking way. but the three of them go in, Yuji taking point as usual, and find that the cave is.... way deeper than reported.

weird.

there's whispering in the dark, and strange scuttling noises, but nothing they can see. and nothing comes at them. there aren't even any spiders or bats in here--like animals won't come here.

...even weirder.

and then. just as Yuji is about to suggest turning back. the flashlight beam lands on a body that's been strung up, bound, sealed, and ritually drained of blood.

the body's eyes are open, and he's furious.

so anyway after Sasaki and Iguchi stop screaming, Yuji unties the guy because clearly something illegal happened here and holy shit the guy is so cold but he's still moving and breathing and talking??? it's a weird, old fashioned dialect but Yuji understands enough to convince the man to come with them to the hospital. the man seems weirdly fixated on Yuji, asking his name and who his parents are and if he's a "sorcerer", but really he has so many wounds and they're all dry and crusty and smell like rot and Yuji just really wants to make sure he's not dying.

as soon as they exit the cave, there's like five sorcerers already there ready to fight Satoru. he's weakened, now, surely they can kill him.

except Yuji is hurt trying to stop the violence, and Satoru gets a whiff of his blood, and knows.

"Heir of Sukuna, please forgive me for this."

Three drops of Yuji's blood is all Satoru needs to subdue the enemy.

Fast-forward three years, 18yo Yuji moves to Tokyo and gets a job in the kitchen of a incredibly fancy bathhouse (mostly for sorcerers and hunters but also a genuine business), because he brought kikufuku and hotpot he made at home for the interviewer and staff to try. Nobara, charged with showing him the ropes, asks how long he's been cooking; he tells her most of his teen years, but the kikufuku is because his wife has a sweet tooth and begs him to make it a lot.

"Wife?? Aren't you only eighteen??"

"Oh--yeah, we're not actually married yet. He just likes being called my wife, and I like being his husband. It makes it easier to wait for the law to change. Plus it's fun to introduce him as my wife because homophobes don't know what to do about a tall, buff dude enjoying being a housewife."

Nobara meets Yuji's wife that night. He is very tall and buff, and also clearly adores Yuji in a way that makes the fact that he's the legendary vampire Gojo Satoru slightly less horrifying. Like, it's very hard to imagine the man currently whining about not having a 'proper' garden anymore here in the city as covered in blood and viscera. Especially since he keeps swinging his and Yuji's clasped hands like a restless child and dropping absent kisses on Yuji's head, and Yuji is obviously so pleased by all these little displays of affection. It is sickening how cute these two are.

.......Nobara decides not to report Satoru's presence to the council yet. She has a very hard time believing this puppy-dog of a man is dangerous to humans.

(she's right. Satoru is utterly uninterested in hurting people, now that he's calmed down and learned that he only needs a few ounces of Yuji's blood once a month to stay alive. It does piss him off that monsters and other creatures of the night keep trying to seduce Yuji into following Sukuna's footsteps and becoming the prophesied Demon King who will destroy all of humanity. Who will make Satoru kikufuku if Yuji goes bad??? AND WHY DO ALL THESE OTHER VAMPIRES KEEP TRYING TO DRINK HIS HUSBAND'S BLOOD??????)

((Yuji just thinks it's funny that they keep trying, because Satoru is clearly the reason dead vampires keep turning up with "homewrecker" carved into their foreheads. when will they get the message that Yuji's a one-wife man?))

[iriswestallenn]

This season was a mess

Season 1: My brother took his life and has left me his restaurant. Do I deserve this? Do I take this on? How do I navigate this grief?

Season 2: We found a shit ton of money plus uncle Jimmy is lending us more. We decide to tear down the beef and build The Bear. There is a deadline, we need to get it together, and we need to make this deadline.

Season 3: ...???? The restaurant is up and running. They are digging a bigger hole for themselves. Jimmy is broke now? Carmy is hung up on Claire. Everyone keeps bringing up Claire. Carmy and Syd have zero communication. They barely speak. Not even as friends- keep that. AS BUSINESS PARTNERS. Not once does Carmy ask why Syd hasn't signed the fucking contract that HE brought up to her. This season started off strong but wow wtf happened.

I wanna focus on two examples that I think illustrate how off this season was: I loved the standalone episodes. I cried during the Nat and Donna one. They were wonderful episodes that did not tie back into the plot because there was none. Season 2 we have a Marcus standalone right? Why did that one work whereas I feel these two didn't? (Again, I really enjoyed these episodes. This is about nothing flowing well) Because Marcus was sent to Copenhagen to become a better pastry chef. He was a cook in a sandwich place who did desserts on the side! He traveled to learn from Luca so The Bear could have a pastry chef. Woo! It all ties in.

Next, a flashback in S2 that worked. The Christmas episode. We meet their mom, Carmy brings up the restaurant idea to Mikey. We see Mikey's state of mind, we get background on Sugar's nickname/how she got it. We see how the family treats Carmy. We get a bunch of them asking Carmy if he's gonna ask Claire out. We get Richie and Tiff still together in contrast to present day Richie dealing with his ex getting a fiancé. Almost every single thing we got in this flashback related back to present day concerns. We touched so many corners. Mikey, Donna, Richie, Sugar. In ONE flashback.

Whereas, Tina's (bless her she's a doll) did nothing for the present day story. We see Tina struggle, we never get to hear the exact reason why. Does she hate this new environment? Does she wish she was just making sandwiches with Ebra? Is Carmy getting on her nerves? Sure, that could be a given but they never let her say it. We get her flashback that focuses on finding a new job, and the convo she has with Mikey. The convo is mostly about dreams, wants. I saw someone say that Tina's episode was an ode to everyone just trying to try. Not looking for a title, not competing, just trying. I agree and I love that. Why did it not relate to whatever she's going through in present day?

The rebuttal for my critiques could be, not everything has to tie in. Some things can be standalone. That's true but in my opinion... it shouldn't be done for a 40 min 10 episode show. Esp not one that tied in the flashbacks and standalone episodes in previous seasons. Why did we suddenly stop doing that this season?

This season felt aimless. Let's talk about Claire lmao when Tiff brought up Claire on that bench with Richie, I went huh??? TIFF is bringing up Claire now? WHY! I had to remind myself that she is literally a family friend they've all known for yeaaars. But me? We, the audience? We don't fucking know Claire! "She's his peace." His WHAT? When??? Stop trying to convince me of this and show me in season 1 and 2 that this woman is his peace.

If you decide to drag this Claire shit out for the entire season, oh bby, you're gonna need the audience to feel the same anguish Carmy is feeling. We should be thinking, fuck, Fak is right she is his peace because remember when she pulled him out of x y z? But at the same time they're not good for each other right now because of x y z. We have so little to go off of with these two and they made Carmy hung up on her the whole season lmaoo please.

I'll end with that, actually. You mean to tell me that the entire restaurant let Carmy act like that for months and NO ONE- not even broke ass Jimmy, told him, you need to stop. It took "Computer" coming in to get them just a little bit together? And even then? Still switching the menu, still not listening to Syd, still butting heads with Richie? You shitting me? And does Carmy know he's a fucking uncle now? DOES HE CARE? Oh fuck me this season was ass.

[boringbluebitch]

SlenderDad Headcanons

————⦻————⦻————⦻————⦻————

“Slenderman wouldn’t be a father figure to the pastas, he’s manipulative and that’s unrealistic/not canon-“ Anyway here’s some of my random headcanons of Slender being a father to the creeps cus it’s fun :3

————⦻————⦻————⦻————⦻————

- He’s the type of parental figure who tries too act like he’s “cool” and “nonchalant” and thinks he’s doing a good job at it but he actually isn’t and is TERRIBLE at it because he cares too much.

- Absolutely a girls dad 100% idc what anyone says. Jeff got stabbed? eh, he’ll be fine its not the first time EJ will fix him up. But Sally got a paper cut? You better get out the way cus he’s rushing to make sure she’s ok and he WILL trample over anyone in his way.

- Sally is in fact his number one favorite and no one can convince me otherwise. He lets her get away with pretty much whatever and treats her like a princess. (as everyone should)

- Going alongside with the point above this, Lulu is his second fav. (no I’m not projecting just because she’s my fav why would you think that..)

- He knows some basic sewing and mending skills so he “secretly” patches and fixes the creeps clothes for them. (they’re running through the woods, killing people, and doing crazy shit like 24/7 so ofc they constantly mess up their clothes) I just imagine Toby coming back after a long mission to find all his socks that once had holes in them no longer do. Or Nina complaining to Clockwork that she ripped her favorite skirt and being so sad about it, but when she comes back from a small spree the next day it’s sitting on her bed as good as new.

- He likes to give the creeps small “gifts” every once in a while. He’s never up front about it though he’ll just leave it in their room mysteriously (unless it’s one of the girlies) which sometimes comes off a bit ominous and creepy but it’s just him trying to make a sweet gesture and they recognize that.

- Idc what anyone says he cooks for them sometimes. He had no idea how to cook before, but the more and more creeps that started to pile up he became interested to learn. He’s not a master chef or anything, but he can make some basic stuff and it’s actually not too bad. They don’t have family dinners though imo, I don’t think they would ever sit together around a big table or anything, he just makes the food and says “eat when you want cus it’s here” and then leaves them too it.

- He’s such a proud LGBTQ+ supporter/ally guys don’t even play with me on this one. And the following is a situation I imagine happened (idc how unrealistic it is, it’s silly in my head therefore it’s true to me):

Slenderman: Hello Jane. I want to discuss a very important matter with you if you have the time.

Jane: …yes?

Slenderman: Well, I over heard the other day that you fancy women and I just wanted too let you know that I support you and I am a fellow LBTGQ+ ally.

Jane: …uh…thank you?

Slenderman: You are very welcome.

————⦻————⦻————⦻————⦻————⦻————⦻————

A lil bonus doodle cus why not ^_^

[mana-jjk]

BEATS VIOLENTLY ON THE SITE

i think toge was so happy to have the first-years join them 🥺 after yuuta left, i think he feels a little empty not being able to take care of him. so when the first years join they might not fill that void but they definitely act as a bandaid I PROMISE YOU

megumi likes to say that the only upperclassman he can openly respect is yuuta, but i think he has a soft spot for toge. he’s silly, and sometimes megumi has to do that emo kid thing where he forces himself not to smile because that would be losing the war. but more than anything, i think toge is one of the few that actively shields the first-years and tries to protect them. he tore his throat to shreds trying to protect megumi from hanami, but he also immediately stepped in when todo was giving him shit. and the fact that megumi is fluent in his safe words and understands him so well tells me that he’s known him for a long time so i just think !! little kid megumi practicing sign language by himself and then acting like he’s known it forever and it’s just by chance really ! but toge knows <\3

we haven’t gotten much yuuji and toge interactions but i INSIST they are cooking buddies who delight trying new recipes together. everyone else? incapable in the kitchen. yuuji and toge? certified chefs that have repeatedly talked shared recipes and methods together. i also think yuuji reminds toge of yuuta if yuuta was somewhat mentally stable, could sleep for more than 30 minutes, and wasn’t the shyest boy you’ve ever seen. knowing what it feels like to be a danger to your loved ones is so awful but it’s something they can share. plus toge cares so much about not letting yuuji know about his arm it makes me so ☹️ he’s so caretaker coded it physically hurts. but yuuji also sees him as so reliable, just like yuuta in his first year. i can imagine sometimes he sounds just like him when he’s gushing and praising toge during training that it almost feels like he’s there. toge is also a good source of physical contact. the other first-years ‘tolerate’ him (they love him but can’t show it) and maki would sooner kick him. panda is tolerant but it’s like hugging a stand-up mascot. so toge who ruffles their hair, bumps their shoulders together, and gives them gentle high-fives is like a balm over an open wound.

nobara… do not get me started here i swear to god they are so bestie coded and i died reading the light novel. i think they get so excited about fashion together because everyone else is boring and they make maki and yuuta come to dress them up, clap over their fits, and carry their bags. nobara always says that toge can do better than eyebags, but inwardly she’s just happy to see him happy and secretly looks up to yuuta too. she cares so much about toge’s opinion and he hypes her up and looks after her self-esteem. she felt so guilty getting toge hurt but he didn’t even hesitate !! she also started off not understanding a thing he said but ended up understanding him so well that everyone was surprised 🥺 and it always tears me apart that he stopped her from killing that guy so she wouldn’t have to live with it. especially with little hints from canon that suggest he’s either hurt or killed someone before. maki is 100% her favorite person ever because they’re girlfriends and they kiss, but toge is a close second because they’re besties. they gossip together and are on speed dial and watch crappy reality shows. toge is one of the first people she was vulnerable with and i think he reminds her a lot of saori and it GUTS ME.

then yuuta comes back and after spending so much time thinking about him as a first-year and then taking care of the other first-years, toge expects everything to go back to how it was. except it doesn’t, because yuuta is not only bigger now but he’s stronger too. he comes back, a head and a half taller and it’s a struggle to convince him that no toge doesn’t need to be taken care of that’s his job ?? toge stumbles and suddenly yuuta’s hand is on his arm, toge cooks dinner and yuuta already put his plate on the table and washed the dishes, toge takes a hit for him and not even a breath later he’s being carried like he weighs nothing. and it’s hard to deny him and it’s hard to push away because no one has ever treated him that gently before. like he wasn’t dangerous, like he was something precious. he still has the first-years to take care of, and yuuta was still the same pathetic boy in a lot of aspects. but when he was awake with phantom pains and nightmares, yuuta was there to soothe the worst of it and remind him that there was still a future for him, that he was worthy of being cared for, worthy of living, worthy of being happy.

y’all i have so many thoughts it HURTS someone ask me something before i explode

[direwombat]

Why not Syb dive into a zombie AU 😱 With Jacob or Eli... Or both 👀 They would make an excellent team of survivors 💪

Send me a potential AU and I’ll tell you five fun facts that would happen in a story

oooooh i'm not super into zombie stuff, so i'll do my best here but...

there's still the whole divide amongst the townspeople of hope county and the project at eden's gate. joseph claims that the zombie plague is a sign of the end times and only his followers will survive society's inevitable collapse. meanwhile the people of hope county are just trying to get by, but that ideological divide is enough to make it so they're competing for the same resources, all while trying to stave off zombies the entire time.

i think i'd set this up as syb being an enforcer/peacekeeper in her little community (ie, she's breaking up fights and helping resolve any disputes that arise) and her brother is a hunter/forager who knows the terrain and local flora/fauna enough to find food. but one day he doesn't return home and syb is determined to find him. with eli (another hunter/forager) as her guide, of course <3

shit goes down that leads to the two of them being captured by jacob and they're taken back to the project where they're hiding syb's brother. only, because augustine was sympathetic to the project, he's allowed to do the "easy" chores, cooking and cleaning, and generally being accepted into the cult, while syb and eli are handed over to jacob and conscripted into doing hard physical labor and other dangerous jobs (like clearing out zombie nests).

now. i can see things going two different ways from there. first is that something really bad happens that involves syb, eli, and jacob all ending up stranded together and they have to rely on each other to survive (ot3 good ending <3)

OR, jacob takes an interest in syb and wants to have her integrate into the cult, but he also sees that eli has feelings for her as well. only, instead of killing eli himself or sending him on a suicide mission (like a normal bad guy would do), he manages to gaslight syb into believing that eli was bitten but was hiding it and convinces her to put eli down like a rabid dog </3

[femme-from-hell]

𓆩♡𓆪 More Lupin III HCs 𓆩♡𓆪

More Thoughts On Lupin & Co. (This one is a little long)

lupin is super picky about his coffee and WILL get pissy if he doesn't get it how he likes it.

Fujiko made Lupin coffee for the first time along time ago after their first night together when they started their little situation-ship and Lupin has drank his coffee like that ever since.

Fujiko drinks energy drinks and Lupin is repulsed by them. Lupin caught her drinking one but she’ll deny it until the day she dies.

Jigen drinks his black because he can't handle too much caffeine. (for context, black coffee has a pretty low caffeine content for those who don't know.)

Lupin was a track and field kid. As seen in the events in Lupin Zero -sorta spoiler warning for those who haven't seen it-, his dad wanted him to live a normal life, so he convinced his son to do something normal kids do to get his energy out rather than stirring up shit. Lupin was reluctant but fell in love with the sport.

Jigen has really pretty hand writing but Lupin’s is shit, so Jigen writes all of Lupin’s cursive calling cards, but Lupin signs them. Sometimes Lupin just makes Jigen write things for him when he doesn't need it because he just really likes his hand writing.

Lupin likes drawing doodles on all of his notes, letters, etc. Without fail, Lupin's papers are littered w drawings of him, his friends, sometimes Zenigata, or whatever treasure they're after.

Zenigata doesn’t cook often, nor is he the best at it, but he really enjoys doing in nonetheless.

If Lupin doesn’t get his ‘beauty sleep’ he just turns into a full blown bumbling idiot, like I’m talking walking straight into door frames, tripping over his own feet, all of it

On top of that, if someone interrupts his sleep, he gets incredibly pissy and short tempered.

^^Jigen kept blasting opera over the radio once in the hideout, resulting in Lupin being woken from his nap. Without even a second thought, Lupin rolled over on the couch, shot the radio, and rolled back over.

Lupin has A LOT of scars, it comes with the territory of nearly dropping dead with every job he takes on, and he uses his skills as a disguise artist to cover them up because he feels self conscious about them.

I feel like he's a perfectionist so he would see these scars as reminders of how he could have done better or could have done more.

Fujiko is a big spoon and you can pry this thought from my cold dead hands.

Lupin has a little collection of those 3d puzzles, even rubix cubes, and he fiddles with them to keep his mind working during stretches of travel or when he can’t think

Both Goemon and Jigen have tried to use said puzzles out of curiosity but got frustrated when they couldn’t figure them out

Because Fujiko rides motorcycles a lot, I like to think she has a lot of automotive knowledge and has tinkered with the Fiat once or twice.

Lupin doesn’t let her near it often because she isn’t afraid to sabotage the car if she plans on double crossing them.

Lupin is great with kids, but is incredibly irresponsible. He isn’t a big fan of dealing with them but once he’s got attached to them, all hell breaks loose. He is the kind of person that if they asked for ice cream for dinner he would absolutely respond with “WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT”

Goemon rarely sleeps on missions, in part because he always wants to be alert but also in part because he sleeps like a rock. Like, if a shoot out fight started right over him he would be snoring on cloud 9.

Goemon tried smoking like Lupin and Jigen once but he coughed everything up for a solid minute and hasn’t touched another cigarette since.

Lupin will borrow Jigen’s suits once in a while when he needs to tone down the color a bit but Jigen refuses to touch Lupin’s stuff with a ten foot pole no matter how much Lupin insists he would look good with a pop of color.

Jigen has perfect pitch, which is one of the main things that plays into his taste in music.

Lupin has trash taste in music, like absolutely horrid and he is banned from touching the radio in the car or the portable one on look outs.

The gang will regularly play cards together, and of course Lupin, Jigen, and Fujiko are cheating but Fujiko will actively sabotage Jigen and Lupin if Goemon starts losing really bad. Goemon knows how to cheat, he just refuses to.

Based off that one McDonalds commercial with Goemon ordering ahead on his phone, I like to think that when he discovered he could order food over his phone he went a little nuts ordering his favorite food from the local Japanese joint down the street. Like, I'm talking several hundred dollars worth in a day.

Lupin and Fujiko aren’t the best at apologizing when they get into a fight with someone, but I like to think that when they try and apologize, it's sorta just a thoughtful gift they’ll slide to the person they were arguing with.

Lupin has never once forgotten Pop’s birthday and leaves him a little something every year. It's never anything stolen because he knows Zenigata wouldn't accept it if it was.

Lupin’s fur coat from his green jacket days (the one he was wearing in TWCFM) was one of the first extravagant things he bought with money he stole.

Lupin writes everything down, he’s the kind of person when presented with a riddle or a puzzle, he needs to do a hand full of scribbles that only make sense to him and then he’s got it solved. More specifically, he writes in his grandfather’s journal he found in the movie Blood Seal of The Eternal Mermaid.

Lupin has a pretty high pain tolerance but when he so much as gets a small cold, he’ll moan and groan about it.

Yikes, this got long! But I still have so much more, what is a little guy like me to do! Guess ill just have to actually post more rather than just rebloging stuff at 2 am...

[elocinnicole]

Hey! I love your writing so much can you do a Snowpiercer fic? 👀👀👀 Andre and Reader used to be a couple instead of him and Zarah

1,001 Cars 

Rating: M 18+ Minors DNI

Paring: Andre Layton x OFC Black!Reader (Paige Knight)

Summary: Paige and Andre see each other for the first time in years.

1,001 cars wasn’t long enough. It’s been four years since Paige has seen Andre. She didn’t even want to be on this God forsaken train but Andre insisted and back then she did any and everything for him. Well, now it was her turn to be selfish and fuck anyone who had a problem with it. 

She was probably the most hated person in the Tail behind Wilford, but she did what she had to do. A decent job in Third Class was enough for the two of them, it was far from the glamours lifestyle in First or even Second Class, but her small restaurant was better than fighting for small scrapes in the Tail that wasn’t what she imagined for them. 

Paige remembers the day clearly when they heard there was an opening in Third Class cooking. This was it. Their chance out of the Tail. Or at least she thought, when she told Andre of the news she hoped he would be excited to get ahead even if it’s just a little bit. Andre immediately shut her down, told her it was betraying the Tail and everything they stood for to leave it all behind.

“You really want me to turn my back on everyone back here. Just for some funky ass job in Third? Come the fuck on Paige.” Andre whispered loudly, so as not to wake the other Tailies trying to get their rest.

“We’re not turning our back, we—talked about starting a family before all this train shit. I don’t want to have a child in the Tail. I don’t want them growing up like this. What’s wrong with giving a child a better life?”

Andre sighed heavily, “We’re not leaving, not when we’re so close to this rebellion.” Now it was Paige’s turn to sigh

“Come on Andre, you’d rather risk your life for a rebellion than to better ourselves. First, it’s Third Class and then maybe I can finally get a teaching job in Second Class, and you can convince them to give you a job, you used to be a detective.” Paige pleaded, desperately wanting Andre to see her point of view. “Hot food, a shower, God knows how long it’s been since we’ve had good food.”

“You’d give up everything we’ve stood for, for food?” Andre asked, disappointed

“Andre, I’m tired. I didn’t even want to get on this fucking train, but you promised me that we’d get good tickets and look at us. Eating God damn rats!”

“Shush!” Someone whispered loudly

“We’re not leaving, end of discussion.”

“That’s it?”

“We’re on the brink of something here Paige, we can change how this train is run. Just believe in it, us, me. Change is coming to the train. I promise.”

Exhausted with the conversation, Paige merely nodded her head. There was nothing else to talk about.

“Do what you need to do, Andre.”

With that Andre kissed Paige before turning over to go to sleep. That would be the last time she would feel Andre’s lips on hers.

Paige can still hear the insults and the feel the judging eyes on her as she made her last walk in the Tail of the train to move to the Third Class. She remembers Andre not even saying goodbye to her or even being within eyesight. Paige held her head high despite the insults thrown at her, not even giving them a second glance, she left with Ruth forever leaving the Tail behind or at least she thought.

What started off as a job in Third Class led her to teaching the children of the Second Class. Paige started tutoring some children when she closed the restaurant in Third and word traveled that Paige would host weekly sessions with the children. Word moved throughout the train, and she was offered a job in the school which she graciously took. Paige missed being in the classroom, she was a second-grade teacher before Snowpiercer and is what she originally applied for when Andre suggested they get tickets for the train.

Life was going well for Paige until tragedy hit Second Class. A coworker of hers was found dead in her cabin and her right arm frozen solid. Paige found her body when she opened the school that day. She instantly knew there was foul play involved and immediately went to the police.

Paige was supposed to be interviewed by the new train detective after the school day. She had been on edge since finding the body, who could’ve done such a thing and why? Is this what Andre was talking about? The sound of knocks rapping against the door sliding open pulled Paige out of her thoughts. She straightened out her clothes and slide the door open, not prepared to the man standing on the other side.

“Paige Knight?”

“Um, yes.”

“I’m Bess Till and this is Detective Andre Layton. We have a few questions to ask about the death of Ciara Young.”

“Please, come in.” Paige couldn’t bear to look Andre in the eyes. The past couple of years haven’t been kind to him, she could see it all on his face.

“So, here’s how this is gonna go. Detective Layton is going to ask you some question and you’re going to answer those questions truthfully.” Paige nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

“Great, I’ll be standing outside the door while Detective Layton conducts his interview.”  Till removes the handcuffs off Andre’s wrist, before giving him a stern glance and leaving Paige’s suite.

“So, this is what selling out gets you.” Andre lamented as he rubbed his sore wrists.

“Just ask me your questions so you can get back and tell everyone how much of a traitor I am. I’m sure, Josie will love to hear that.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Whatever you want it to.”

“Let’s just cut to the chase, when was the last time you saw the victim—”

“Ciara, her name was Ciara Lane.” Andre looked up and saw that she was struggling to hold back tears.

“Sorry. When was the last time you saw Ciara alive?”

“Yesterday evening, we were having drinks in my suite and she left around 11:00 at night.”

“Was she intoxicated?”

“No, we only had two glasses of wine. We’re teachers, it takes more than two glasses to get us drunk.”

“Did she mention anyone else when she was leaving. Did she give any indication that she wasn’t going back to her suite.”

“No,” Paige answered quickly which Andre noticed but decided to leave it alone...for now.

“So, when did you find her?”

“Around 7:30 in the morning. We usually walk together, but she wasn’t in her suite. So I assumed she got an early start, that’s not uncommon. I can in her classroom there she was at her desk…strangled and her arm had been frozen and cut off.” Andre frowned.

“I would like to ask more questions but let’s go to your suite. Since that was the last place you saw her.” Andre suggested

Paige frowned, Andre motioned to the corner of the room where a security camera was watching and listening carefully.

“Okay, we’ve canceled school for the week, we need to find a new teacher. Do you need to ask permission or…?”

“I’ll handle it.” At that moment, Till entered the classroom.

“Finished?”

“I would like to visit Ms. Knight’s suite, as it was the last known location of the victim.”

“Very well,” Till roughly handcuffed Andre, Paige growing angry at the way she was treating Andre.

“I think they’re tight enough.” Till gave Paige a sarcastic tight-lipped smile. It was a silent walk from the classroom to Paige’s Second-Class suite.  Upon entering the room, Andre could smell lemongrass. Paige’s favorite scent, he remembered her apartment always smelling like lemongrass.

“I know all about your history with Mr. Layton here. So don’t try any funny business.” Till said before stepping out of the suite.

“No one’s been in here since the murder, right?” Andre asked, searching her living space.

“No, not that I know of. What are you looking for?”

“Anything that could point me to where Ciara might’ve gone.” Andre noticed an outplace vase on the mantle.

“Have you always had that?”

“Hmm, I’ve never noticed it, no I don’t remember getting that.” Andre grabbed the glass case and found a microphone inside.

“What the fuck—” Andre held up a finger to his lips, signaling her to not speak.

“Can I get some water please?”

“Sure,” Paige quickly poured Andre a glass of water he then put the microphone in the glass.

“Someone’s been listening to your conversations. Do you have any idea why?”

“No, I don’t all I do is go to work and come home.”

“Withholding information can land you in serious trouble. Who knows what fucked up ways they have of making you talk. If you know something you gotta tell me.” Paige sighed as she plopped down on the sofa.

“Ciara was talking about a Rebellion; she had a contact in Third Class. I told her to be careful,” She lamented.

“What happened the last time you saw her?”

“She came over after school and she was talking about the Rebellion finally starting. She said she was getting notes at her door…warnings. She was going to meet her contact in Third and I told her to be careful, there are eyes and ears everywhere. I begged her to stay the night, said she would be fine. When she left a man was waiting for her outside, her contact from the Third class.”

“Did you get his name?”

“Cole. Cole Peterson. That was the last time I saw her.” Andre could see the sadness on her face and couldn’t help but feel bad for her.

“I promise Paige, I’m gonna find her killer and make sure that she gets justice.” Before Paige could answer, the door burst open.

“Ma’am you can’t go in there.”

“Ma’am I told you I’m dropping her daughter off.” A girl no more than three years old, came running into the room. A head full of curls bouncing with each movement.

“Mommy!” the girl said, launching herself into Paige’s arms.

“What happened?” Paige asked looking at the woman.

“She got sick and then I went by your classroom…” while the woman whom Andre assumed to be a daycare worked explained the situation all he could do was stare at the young child and realize how much she looked like him. She couldn’t be, could she? It’s been almost four years since he’s seen Paige, this little girl could very well be his daughter.

“Mommy, who’s that?” The little girl asked, Andre locked eyes with Paige, one question on his mind. Knowing what thought loomed in his head, Paige nodded in confirmation.

“Thanks for bringing her home,” Paige said to the daycare worker.

“No problem, let me know how she’s feeling.” Once again they were alone, the tension in the air thick.

“Mommy, who is that?”

“He’s your Daddy. Andre, meet your daughter, Aaliyah.”

Tagging: @nikole-witha-k @iknowthekoolaidflavor @ramp-it-up @wreakhavoconmacroissantdiggs @blackpinup22 @chrisevanswife0405 @mellie-teh-goblin-queen @azxulaa@luckyfriess @thatdamnlyssa @endless-romantic-stories @daveeds-wife @emilia-i @gothic-slaherfan-weeb@slashersluxsworld @chattykathysquietsister @aliyahsomerhalder @crystalannetem @tuhnayshuh

[tobiasdrake]

An audience in the sky. We've done weirder things, to be sure.

Their feet look like shoes. Are they wearing bodysuits or are they just... like that? Are they statue people? I have so many questions.

Do you want to do the talking, Garl? I might just wind up making offensive inquiries if I do it.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN YOUR CHEST

Oh shit, that means they can hear me muttering too. >.< "Boy, these weird-ass bodysuit cloud giants and their confusing architectural choices sure are very normal and fine!"

There you go, buddy. The Oracles already know it, but we gotta make sure everyone far and wide hears the legends of the greatest Warrior Cook who ever lived. I want people reading your fable and being inspired to master the frying pan long after you're gone.

...okay, the last time someone singled out one of my friends for an attribute like this, I wound up threatening to drown a fish. I hope we're not about to go down that road again.

Because I'm protective of Serai, but I am very protective of Garl.

Is this a big request? Gonna be honest, the answer to that question is no. We have no idea what we're asking. We just know that we need to do it so that I can strangle an asshole with his own tendrils.

Please, wise council, assist me in carrying out retaliatory violence against a godlike entity who was, himself, simply taking fair compensation for the incredible amounts of cheating we were doing!

Does. Does the goddess Luana not count or something? I'm pretty sure I just vouched for him a moment ago and we're all pretty convinced that I'm Luana. I might even actually be, who knows? So.

MIC. DROP. That's right, we speak with HIS authority!

Resh'an: She does not speak with my authority.

Garl has a full-ass god squad plus whatever Serai is! Truly, there has never been a mortal being in this or any timeline more blessed than he, so clench up your colossus-holes and sit up straight! You are in the presence of greatness.

Hold up, what?

Huh. We didn't even know the Vespertine was important. I guess we're just.... very prolific looters....

You got any other trials to obtain shit I've already swiped?

*proudly* We got so pissed off one time that we turned into balls and flew away. We have not been able to do it again, nor do we have any idea how we did it, but we DID and that makes us pretty awesome.

I'm. Not sure. Why that's an answer to the question but apparently it is. Good job, Serai. Fantastic job of doing whatever it is that you did.

I'm curious about that myself. Garl, you said you had some idea of a thing you could offer but this was all coming straight out of your visions so... how's this going to work?

And does your Borrowed Time expire once we get the approval, or after we do whatever we have to do to get the approval approval? I need to know if you're going to suddenly drop dead and flip over that railing the second this conversation's done.

(Which, also, by the way: Railings. See, Moraine? Was that so hard?)

I REGRET EVERYTHING WHY ARE WE DOING THIS

Garl's Elder Mist prophecy did say he would soothe a long-tormented soul. I wrote it off as referring to Malkomud but if it's still in effect, then that's another one he has to complete before he can die.

Yeah, that one. That's the one.

He also told you to be mindful of your limitations but you still insisted on getting shot for me, you selfless fuck. T-T

I only about 80% understand what they're talking about (Thanks, Teaks! It was in the Sleeper's fable!) but this is the boldest thing we've ever done. And we've done some bold-ass shit.

I love it. I'm excited to be a part of it. We should probably let the molekin know that we may or may not be about to wreak utter annihilation upon their entire civilization and they do not get a voice in the matter.

[armoricaroyalty]

Theo would be working most of the time she was in Uspana: her schedule was packed solid with meetings, tours, and late-night networking events. She was tagging along on the trip as part of Rosalind's entourage, there to support her agenda and make connections with Uspanian organizations working toward the same goals. She tried to convince herself that it'd be good to stay busy, but she suspected that what she really needed was time to think.

Previous | Chapter Start | Beginning | Next

Transcript under the cut!

Theo's Townhouse // Pearl District, Breizh, Armorica

THEO | Rob? Are you home? ROB | [offscreen] Yeah. In the kitchen! THEO What are you cooking? Something smells gooooooood∼ ROB | Heh. Thanks, babe. ROB | [offscreen] It's a new special we're trying this week. It's a western-style gumbo with andouille and crabmeat, but the roux has a coconut milk base. THEO | Oooooo— THEO | But wait, I thought L'Ostrica didn't do fusion cuisine. ROB | They don't, but I'm hoping I can kind of open the door with this special. If it sells and I can impress the sous chef, I might finally get off the line... THEO | That's great, babe, but...is that still what you want? ROB | ...what d'you mean? THEO | If you don't get promoted, do you want to keep doing this? ROB | ...what else would I even do? THEO | I dunno! There's tons of jobs in hospitality besides cooking— ROB | But I want to cook. It's all I've ever wanted. THEO | I know you love it, but you have to be serious. I grew up in my auntie's restaurant. It's not sustainable. The pay is shit and the hours are terrible. I don't want to start a family with someone who's never around— ROB | ...is that what you want? To settle down, start a family? THEO | ...is that not what you want? ROB | ...I dunno. Honestly...I haven't thought about it. It's just not on my radar. THEO | Ohmygod. Rob, you cannot be serious— ROB | I haven't thought about it because I've been focused on my career! Just because you gave up doesn't mean I have to, too. THEO | Okay, you need to leave. ROB | Theo— THEO | I will not be spoken to like that in my own home. Leave, and call me once you've figured out what you actually want from this relationship. ROB | I'm sorry. THEO | Goodnight, Rob. ROB | I am, though... THEO | ... ROB | ... THEO | [sighs]

[bugflies00]

RIGHT so the pirate au

well it's nothing very original don't get your hopes up or anything BUT. basically it's mainly lmancrew (with a crimeboys focus) and tntduo centered and it's set in like a medieval-esque fictional setting like basically six of crows minus the magic. like i literally typed six of crows into pinterest to get good images those are the vibes

wilbur's captain of this ship called the l'manberg (ok no but i hesitated between naming the ship or their og town lmanburg but i ended up naming the ship that because i just think it's such a good ship name like . she/her in a boat way. does this make sense) and the crew is niki, jack, eret, fundy and tubbo (well obviously theres more people cause how would a ship Function but the rest of those are Unnamed background characters).

wilbur's also a pretty high ranked official like idk general or captain of the guard idk how the military works i would have to figure that out, but basically he's kinda famous and so's his ship. they aren't participating in a war it's more of like an explorer position because wilbur's known for being a brilliant cartographer and so the previous king just kinda appointed him to this new position to let him fuck off & do his own thing mapping the whole world with his crew. the issue is the old king died with no heir and replaced by his nephew (dream) who's much more controlling and power-hungry than he was and who doesn't want to waste money & resources on some bs like maps. this will create Conflict (im so good at narration guys. Help)

tommy's like a homeless orphan (as he alwyas is) and really needs a job and money and all that and he hears the l'manburg isn't at sea for once and wilbur & his crew are taking a rest at the capital for a couple days before sailing back off again. naturally he sneaks in, lives in the storage room for like a week or two, surviving off scraps of food . then tubbo stumbles across him and almost reports him, but tommy convinces him not to and so tubbo helps him for a couple days. then someone else finds him, and he's brought to the captain and they all threaten to throw the stowaway overboard (they wouldn't actually they're all kinda softies) and tommy's like pissing himself from how scared he is especially cause wilbur's like . this really famous general who's had books and songs written about him and shit (he doesn't know yet hes just an annoying pretentious prick (/lovingly)) so he's like Ohmygod im dead and then wilbur's like . "Can you cook" "erm no" "can you clean" "yeah ig" "Can you fight even somewhat decently" "yeah bitch me and my knives are the best they call me th-" "Ok you're hired" AND THUS tommy joins the crew

and so they keep on sailing with their mission yadda yadda and WHAM they encounter the most notorious pirate crew of the continent, named, you guessed it, las nevadas. and tommy's heard a lot of proper horror stories about them and he's terrified but the crew have fought them off a bunch of times before so they're mainly annoyed because they're gonna have to deal with the frankly disgustingly homoerotic rivalry that their captain and the pirate captain have been passionately engaging in for several years now. THATS RIGHT TNTDUO BABY oh they are so pathetic and so gay it's actually embarrassing they'll have like sword duels . wilbur's the uptight, bitchy, and somewhat pretentious general with perfectly styled hair and ornate coat always huffing and puffing and waxing poetry meanwhile quackity's the fuckin bad boy stereotype with like a half unbuttoned poet or blackshirt (slut) (wilbur cannot stop staring its embarrassing) and he's always hanging off ropes and shit and doing sick acrobatics and taunting wilbur GOD they're so. and yeah they have sword duels where all they do is "distract the opponent" in order to "efficiently win the battle" which is code for "practically make out while hurling insults at each other"

also crimeboys is like "in awe of the legendary general" "who is this child on my boat" >>> "oh my god the general's a prick" "oh my god the child's a demon" >>> "maybe he's not that bad but i would rather die and curse his entire family line than admit that" >>> "that is my brother i would die for him and if you lay a hand upon him you won't have hands anymore" (the funny thing is they both end up with that same level of protectiveness and making the same threats despite wilbur being a like Adult and high ranked official with power and influence and decades of training of elaborate swordsmanship behind him . and tommy is a stowaway fifteen year old orphan with three knives and teeth and a whole lot of anger . but they're both like "no i must protect and die for the other" im sorry i just love them ok theyre so stupid) i just LOVE crimeboys having to go through begrudging bonding instead of instantly being ride or die brothers GIVE ME TO MORE ENEMIES TO FRIENDS TO BROTHERS anyway

also we also get emerald duo in the form of them being co-captains (please pretend that is a thing i know Nothing about anything ever) of this other ship and they're like independent merchants or whatever idk i have not figured out that whole bit yet MY POINT IS they're not affiliated with anyone they just sorta do their own thing and only help people if they want to or are indebted . they help out wilbur sometimes cause he's a dumbass

speaking of wilbur like i said he's had books and songs written about him (his age is kind of a grey zone like on one hand he's pretty young for a general but he's also had time to become this like famous and mysterious figure so can't be Too young . so i think probably like 27-29? smth like that) and one of them was a legend about how he fell in love with a mermaid . yes she had red hair and teal scales and her name was sally BUT SHE'S STILL AN OCEAN MERMAID I KNOW SALMONS LIVE IN RIVERS anyway . also for little tntduo crumbs he's called quackity a siren multiple times (in his mind he's insulting him like "ooh you manipulate people" and everyone around him is like "that is the Gayest thing you could possibly have said") and quackity's like "didnt you date a mermaid" "yeah but sirens are like evil mermaids" "so you want to date me" and then wilbur stabs him

ALSO more about wilbur's character development (this is a bit spoilerish but also it's not like im ever writing this full fic so you're not exactly risking much but just be warned) he starts out like i said as this really uptight military official who started when he was really young and trained really hard and flew through the ranks really fast because he worked his ass off . And so he's Very protective of his rank & title & prestige not so much because he's snobbish but because he worked so hard for it but so it often comes across as him being this like pretentious fuck (well he's also pretentious but thats just wilbur) . also he originally dreamed of being a cartographer and he spent his whole childhood drawing up maps but then he realised he couldn't make a living out of that so he decided to work hard enough to be at the top and then do what he wanted. and so he wears like his tricorn hat with a feather and his ornate coat and neatly tucked in shirt and everything cause for him it's like Proof that he Did it yknow . but then as time goes by, especially in the presence of quackity (who's very antihero-esque and so does not give a shit about ranks or whatever he's a pirate he does his own thing) and also a bit tommy (who was literally dressed in rags until they clothed and fed him but still behaves like a street rat on the most famous ship of the country) he slowly loosens up and he ends up ditching the coat and the hat and instead wears more stuff like loose poet shirts (open because he's a slut) . and so yeah character development through clothing and whatnot

ok so YEAH those are the tidbits that were plaguing my mind the most but there's definitely a whole lot more in my head like ive got a pinterest board and shit

[yuukei-yikes]

Do you have any headcanons about Hibiya's relationships with the rest of the Dan after the series? I was always a little disappointed we didn't really get to see him interact much with anyone besides hiyori, konoha, and momo. I would have loved to see him properly integrated as a member of the group and hanging out with them 🥲

YESSSSS I'VE ACTUALLY BEEN MEANING TO DRAW HIBIYA HANGING OUT WITH EVERYONE SEPARATELY TO LIKE POINT OUT DYNAMICS but then i never did 💔 i still will at some point

hibiya is the mekakushi dan's little brother.

0. ayano's big sister radar goes off incredibly fast when meeting hibiya. she spoils the hell out of him because hibiya is largely independent and already has momo as a big sister for emotional stuff so when ayano's like WANT ME TO PATCH UP THE HOLE IN UR SHIRT hibiya's like what. i know how to do that myself. and ayano's like fine i will buy your love if i must. so she's always taking him shopping and asking if he needs anything new. he comes back every summer to the city with broken ass sandals and ayano's always sending him back with shiny new ones. he still rly enjoys having her around but he looks at her more in a motherly light than sisterly. he'd DIE before admitting it tho

1. srry to play the cooking card with kido again but. hibiya and kido cooking together :) i think kido is very impressed with hibiya's cooking and hibiya is SUPER used to being taken for granted so when they point it out to him he almost bursts into tears. i think hibiya is always looking for compliments from kido bc kido is super cool and The Leader and they kinda have a teacher's pet dynamic LMAOO hibiya is always asking kido if he can help with any chores so of course it works and he's kido's favorite student. if this was a class which is not. so he's just a rly helpful kid kido enjoys having around and hibiya loves that kido is really normal. also kidomomo. yeah. hibiya and his lesbian moms. also kido teaches hibiya how to bind. ratio

2. with seto... i remember reading this fic in ff/net back in the golden days of kagepro (so like. 10 years ago) that was like hibiya resenting seto bc he was still hurting abt hiyori and while everyone died with a loved one seto lost a DOG. i thought it was so funny bc it's so immature but seems so in character for hibiya. also in the novels when hibiya is unconscious he's taken to seto's room. i think hibiya thinks the whole dan act like fools (bc they ARE) but kind of respects and looks up to seto because hibiya is 12 and according to my intensely calculated family headcanons was raised in a toxic masculinity household so he sees this Buff Guy getting up at 5am everyday and holds more than one job for his family...he's like (nod nod nod) and he also really respects how seto refuses to use his eye power because of its. erm. unethical nature. hibiyas like UGH SETO IS SO COOL SUCH A MAN'S MAN. seto is mostly oblivious to this and always always always ruffles hibiyas hair. everyone does this but seto is the only one hibiya doesnt yell at

3. i think kano would go easy on hibiya cuz he's a kid but not entirely bc if kano isnt totally insufferable to everyone he knows at least once a day he gets sick and dies. i think kano tries to do the big sibling thing abt convincing the little brother of a total bullshit lie like basically his hobbie is gaslighting hibiya for fun. hibiya goes screaming for kido to make him stop lol. also kano's the one who's always saying shit like hibiya is 8 years old. even when hibiya's an adult kano's like how old are u again. u turned like 15 right

4. man mary tries acting SOOOO GROWN UP to hibiya she's like desperately trying to seem like a cool older sister but on purpose. with everyone else it's kind of natural but she is actively trying. momo bestie so also around a lot and sees how momo (hibiyas big sister #1) acts around him and tries doing the same and hibiya's like. this is pathetic. but still endearing and accepts it LOL he's also respectful of mary bc he's well aware of her role in their survival so he's like SIGHS okay

6. takane is everyone's demise because she introduces hibiya to smartphones and gaming. like hibiya rly wanted a smartphone right and then he makes all these friends and has to go back to the village so he takes an intensive course ran by takane abt how to use a phone. which is all good. but the thing is she is ALSO like ur so weird kid. here. play some amongus. this is how amongus hibiya can still win. everyone like vinnie hibiya cant be a fortnite kid bc he has no idea abt gaming he doesnt even have a phone WELL i got news for u buddy my fave character is takane and im also totally delusional. she is the reason hibiya is texting the gc in total typos asking if anyone wants to among us. and he's so thankful to her he expresses his gratitude thru sending her amongus and minecraft memes he finds around that she's seen a thousand times but it's rly endearing. also hibiya is shintaro coded so takane knows how to handle him sorry im so delusional abt their friendship (holds their chapter together from novel eight close to my chest)

7. eheheheheh. like i said. hibiya is shintaro coded like in canon both momo and takane say hibiya reminds them of shintaro like he's a little shin. and momo adopting hibiya means shintaro gets little brother by default too. his ass is always at HIS HOUSE!!!! i talked abt this in a post once abt how seeing hibiya and momo together makes shintaro want to try a little harder at being a big brother. i think they like each other and shintaro always lets hibiya sit in his room if momo is being too insane, and hibiya sometimes is like well shintaro's actually pretty normal!! (immediately sees him act a fool bc ofc he does) eugh. also shintaro helps hibiya with his summer hw, i think hibiya's a good student but appreciates the help and tells shintaro he thinks he'd make a rly good teacher and continues writing down on his hw all casually while shintaro has to act like he didn't get all choked up hearing that

9. i've talked abt the haruka and hibiya shitshow lol but again i love the idea of hibiya just totally refusing to acknowledge konoha's gone and keeps kicking and screaming abt it. bc if konoha is rly gone then it means he regrets everything bc he was so mean to it and its bc of it hiyori is alive (hiyori doesnt act this way bc she's well aware of it) and that SUCKS. so hibiya largely avoids haruka and isn't all that into how hiyori is really accepting of him and all. and haruka is also like. awkwardly trying to approach him because it's the least he can do in konoha's memory but hibiya's like hissing at him. eventually hibiya would accept it after a couple breakdowns. i think momo also punches some sense into him. i want hibiya to lash out at haruka and scream all sorts of things at him abt how it's not fair konoha is gone and like who even is he and just overall say all the things haruka is already super insecure about but then it ends on hibiya sobbing in his arms abt how much he misses konoha. and haruka can only hug him back and apologize :(

[softquietsteadylove]

What about a summer camp story?

Gil is the new head of the cafeteria. He's cooking for the children and camp supervisors. One time he asks one of the supervisors, Sersi, why this beautiful, statue like woman never eats. Sersi tells him her name and that she never eats in the cafeteria because the food was awful before Gil came. One Day when Gil meets Thena personally for the first time, he can convince her to try his food in the cafeteria.

✨🖤Hugs and Love🖤✨

"There's nothing in there but flour and cornmeal."

The statuesque woman startled, rushing to pull her head out of the pantry like a camper trying to sneak a snack back to their bunk.

Gil chuckled, "everything that's already made is either in the fridges or in the cabinets over the flat top."

She nodded silently, no apologies to be made over being caught red handed, "well, I'll-"

"You can have whatever you want," Gil rushed before she could make her escape. "Anything you like--just tell me."

She cleared her throat, maintaining what dignity she could after being found out. "I was looking for any tortilla chips leftover from chili night."

"Right," Gil nodded, looking down at the late night prep he was getting done. He set down his knife, "because you don't eat the cafeteria food."

He had noticed, of course. It would be hard not to notice the one face who never, ever entered the lunch line. Even the busiest counsellors like Dane and Sersi still had to sit down for dinner at some point. But the elusive activities director always walked around with a power bar or a protein shake in hand, it seemed.

Sersi had told him that the food was particularly horrid before he came to be the camp cook. Many of them had their reservations, and Thena wasn't one for dining communally anyway! He shouldn't take it personally, was her point.

But he was more than curious about the reclusive creature who took the kids on hikes and helped them with archery and volleyball and soccer.

She gave him a more standoffish look, still keeping her hands clasped behind her in her camp t-shirt and white denim shorts. He had never seen her in anything else, even early when the counsellors might grab breakfast in their pajamas before the rambunctious pre-teens rose for the day.

"I hope you won't take offense."

Gil swiped his hands on the towel tossed over his shoulder and faced her more fully. "You say that, but I'm pretty sure you won't even try a bite of anyone else's food."

She shrugged, "I'm not a food sharer."

Gil nodded, "right. That scared of it?"

Her shoulders rose faintly, like a cat arching its back for a fight. "You didn't have to sample the food of your predecessor. You would swear off the stuff as well, I think."

He snorted, "that bad?"

Thena gave him the driest look he had seen from her yet, and that was really saying something. "I brought enough power bars to sustain me for months."

Gil rolled his eyes, although he had to admit, she had one hell of a resolve. "You would rather survive on dry, crumbly protein bars than even try my food?"

"They are not dry."

"Crumbly though," he countered, and she accepted the rebuttal. He walked closer, "there must be something you'd be willing to try. Doesn't have to be anything the truck drops off, although I'll have you know that I don't make shit that comes frozen in a plastic bag."

Thena eyed him in return, still cautious but obviously too intrigued - or hungry - to avoid it. "You don't?"

Gil huffed, snapping his towel off his shoulder and tossing it onto the counter, "not on my life! I refused to take the job unless they changed their supplier and I was allowed to use real food. That shit's not good for kids anyway."

That seemed to sway the obstinate woman slightly, who at least drifted closer to the end of his prep counter. "Well, what do you make, then?"

"Do you not even pay attention to what's on the board?" Gil sighed, although he could guess the answer already. He crossed his arms, "of course not."

"I have other things to do," Thena crossed her arms as well, "I don't just have one age group to manage. It is, in fact, all the little devils who do the activities."

Gil smirked; she called them 'little devils' but here she was, same as the rest of them, spending three whole months at some camp in the woods so the kids could have some outdoor enrichment and three meals and a bed while school was out.

"So?" she prompted, her eyes flicking down to the green onion he was chopping. "What is that for?"

"Well, these are for something else," he shook his head at her prickly demands. "You can freeze them while they're fresh so they stay firm as a garnish for some crunch. But I can make you some eggs if you want."

"Eggs?"

"Eggs," he nodded, "y'know, usually a chicken lays 'em but you can get other-"

"I understand the concept!" she bit at him, although maybe it wasn't as scary if you weren't under the age of 13. "I'm asking if they're real!"

"Real eggs," he vowed, moving to the fridge as if she were holding a weapon for him to produce the evidence. He pulled out two from the wholesale flat he had in the fridge. "See?"

She pursed her lips at his demeaning demonstration.

"Okay, okay," he chuckled. At least she was fun, this Goddess of War he had heard so much about. "You want something to eat or not?"

He wasn't sure, but he would bet that her stomach was winning the argument against her head.

She relaxed her stance slightly, fingers tapping against the end of the counter. "Could...scrambled, please?"

He knew there had to be a human under that shell. And she was hungry, "yes, ma'am."

Now she was the one to roll her eyes.

Gil turned the burner on, though, tossing a little nob of butter into the pan.

"The food truly was horrid, last year," Thena began her confession as he waited for his pan to reach an appropriate heat. She looked down at her hands. "It disagreed with me on several occasions."

That was what made her so much more resistant than the others. Gil smiled, "and here I thought you were being shy."

She scowled, "I'm-"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," he waved it off, cracking his eggs and scrambling in the pan with chopsticks, "sorry. The last way I would describe you is shy."

Thena relaxed somewhat, and he discovered that it was possible for those sharp little shoulders to slouch. "I know I'm the only one who feels so strongly about it."

"I think that mass produced, bagged and canned shit would turn anyone's stomach," Gil offered more gently, keeping his eggs moving on the heat--her eggs. He smiled, "I don't blame you."

Thena drifted a little closer still. "I'm sorry, Gilgamesh, for being so unfair as to not even try anything you've made."

He shrugged, only looking at her briefly while working on her eggs, "hey, it's okay."

She paused, maybe not having expected her forgiveness to come so quickly.

"Also," he chuckled, pulling her very soft scramble out and spiralling the sheet of eggs onto a plate. He added a few of his green onions, just for the sake of it, "it's just Gil."

She pursed her lips at him again, but accepted the plate of eggs, swirled into a peaked cyclone. She gave him a slightly less unamused look, "showing off?"

He gave her his most charming grin, "gotta impress first time clients."

Thena rolled her eyes at him, cutting off the smallest piece possible with her fork.

"Oh, come on!"

She glared at him for interrupting her snacking, but took the small bite for what it was. Her eyebrows raised, and he noticed their darker colour in comparison to her almost white-blonde hair. "Hm...not bad."

Gil kept his eyes on her as he reached forward with his chopsticks. She didn't stop him--even moved the plate back closer to him. He took a bite for himself, "not bad--they're good!"

Rather than argue with him again, the statue of a woman took another bite, with another smile, "fine, they're good. Happy?"

Gil smiled as well, watching as Thena took larger and larger bites, probably starving for decent nutrients after all her smoothies and power bars. At least he knew what to make for tomorrow morning's breakfast. "I'm getting there."