#but bro you sure you don't want to marry instead?

[istharoth]

Sometimes I think of RuiEd angst and like Ed talking to the MC about Rui like:

"If I were a woman, I would've loved him by myself for a really long time."

IN FUCKING SHAMBLES.

Imagine Ed falling in love with someone, a human, after his previous human lover died. Vowing to himself that he would never love again, never go through the short-lived love ever again, then Rui comes into the picture and it's like spring has come.

(bonus if it's unrequited.)

[l4ndoflove]

dj got us fallin' in love

feat. ???

lyrics preview the saudi arabian post-race party gets you stuck in a love triangle with the infamous papaya boys

maddie this was requested by the lovely @littleemmi for the 100 celebration! i'm not telling you who the driver is so you guys can try and figure it out yourselves ;)

with @.haileesteinfeld

norrislando_fans

❤️ 76.3K 💬 11.8K

norrislando_fans lando celebrating in jeddah after the race 💜🎧

comments

user1 celebrating what exactly?

user2 finishing behind piastri again 😂

user3 his last race as the championship leader lol

user4 are you seriously still talking shit about him after he went from p10 to p4

user5 lando hate is so forced i swear

user6 louder please 🙏

user7 OMG DJ LANDO IS BACK

user8 YESSS I MISSED HIM

user9 who is she

user10 a misty memoryyyyy

user11 😐

user12 she's living every fangirl's dream

user13 no bc imagine standing this close to LANDO FREAKING NORRIS

user14 oh to be her

user15 luckiest girl alive 💔

user16 WHY IS HE STARING INTO HER SOUL LIKE THAT LMAO

user17 bro if lando ever looked at me that way i would pass out

user18 where i come from we call that foreplay ☝️

user19 guys please leave them alone they're eye fucking

user20 wait isn't that magui?

user21 clearly not

user22 how are you so sure

user23 fr she's not even showing her face

user24 SOMEONE PLEASE FIND HER @

user25 they definitely kissed after that

lando

🎵 dj got us fallin' in love • usher (feat. pitbull)

❤️ 1.8M 💬 17.3K

liked by youruser, oscarpiastri, maxfewtrell and others

lando sick party

comments

maxfewtrell damn mate chill

maxfewtrell is that even legal 😱

maxfewtrell i hope they kicked your ass out

maxfewtrell kids these days

maxfewtrell jeez

lando stop spamming my comment section you muppet

maxfewtrell i'm the only one acknowledging this dumbass post fuck off

user26 old married couple vibes

lando old 🤨

maxfewtrell married 🤨🤨

user27 didn’t deny the couple bit though

user28 bro was higher than the sky in the first pic

user29 how he felt after taking that photo: 😈🔥🗿

lando pretty much

user30 party lando is my favorite lando

user31 not him tagging a random girl instead of max 💀

maxfewtrell dickhead

user32 HE DID THE WORK FOR US HELP

user33 we're all stalking her profile now right

user34 thank god it wasn't magui

user35 you have no idea how relieved i am

user36 she's actually so pretty what

user37 okay i get why he went for her

user38 10/10 would smash

user39 WOAH BROTHER (me too)

user40 when will it be my turn 😫

user41 relax bro ain't nobody taking her from you

maxfewtrell yeah i wouldn’t be so sure about that

user42 wtf does this mean

user43 MAX TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW

maxfewtrell 🫥

user44 NO WE NEED DETAILS PLEASE

user45 sir??? the lip bite???

youruser

❤️ 34.2K 💬 3,156

liked by bestieuser, lando, oscarpiastri and others

youruser 5k new followers overnight... you guys okay?

comments

bestieuser WHO THAT IN THE BAAAAACK

youruser not you too 🔫😀

bestieuser yes me too

bestieuser girl i told you he was famous

bestieuser you know what they say "with great fucking comes great fame" or whatever

youruser OH MY GOD WE DIDN'T FUCK

youruser STOP SPREADING MISINFORMATION YOU SICK WOMAN

bestieuser you stop spreading your legs first 🙄

youruser i'm blocking you

user46 i was here for two minutes and i already love her

user47 so lando tagged her but she didn't tag him?

user48 probably didn't want the attention

user49 spoiler: she got it anyway because lando doesn't know what "privacy" means

user50 not to be weird but i'd let her step on me

youruser so this is what having a fanboy feels like

bestieuser thought you knew after yesterday

youruser what. is. your. problem.

bestieuser you. gatekeeping all the juicy gossip.

user51 i've never loved someone so much

user52 she's my new favorite person

user53 in my head we're best friends

bestieuser see @.youruser??? they love me 🖕

youruser guys please don't encourage her

user54 BOOO GATEKEEPING IS FOR THE WEAK 👎🍅

❤️ by bestieuser

youruser what did i do to deserve this

user55 that outfit is criminal

user56 what's criminal is that he didn’t take it off

youruser 😦

youruser should i be worried @.lando?

lando nah it happens

user57 THE MULLET IS FIRE

user58 meanwhile oscar chilling in the likes

user59 i wonder if he was with them too

user60 he won so probably yes

f1wags._

❤️ 61.8K 💬 9,416

f1wags._ lando sharing his private jet with a mystery girl in saudi arabia 👀

comments

user61 that ain't no mystery girl that's yn 💀

user62 SHE TROLLED US SO BAD

user63 and she was smooth with it too

user64 "we didn't fuck" well you're about to

user65 someone's joining the high mile club today

user66 DAMN

user67 same outfit, same car, same plane but no they're not together 👍

user68 MAKE IT MAKE SENSE

user69 TAKE ME WITH YOU 🛐

user70 if only i could be a fly on the wall

user71 i bet you'd witness unspeakable things

user72 why did we all collectively decide that they're going to do the nasty 😭

user73 what else would they do?

user74 idk maybe talk??

user75 isn't that a little bit excessive after literally one night of knowing each other

user76 that's how love at first fuck works ig 🤷‍♀️

youruser STOP IT WITH THE SEX JOKES

user77 there she is

user78 who summoned her

user79 hi bae we missed you 🫶

user80 bestie joined the f1 fandom and got traumatized in less than one day

oscarpiastri_fans

❤️ 48K 💬 6,121

liked by bestieuser and others

oscarpiastri_fans @.oscarpiastri and @.youruser today at the mtc!

comments

user81 ✨️what the fuck✨️

user82 did we miss something orrr

user83 that's where lando brought her???

user84 they're so soft couple coded aww

user85 oh okay i kinda ship this

user86 i can't tell if you guys are serious or not

user85 why wouldn't we be?

user86 you thought she was shagging lando until this morning

user87 shagging isn't the word i would've used but i agree

user88 THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HELLO

user89 she reaches his shoulder i can't 🫠

user90 i don't remember oscar being this tall though

bestieuser he's not but yn is short af sooo

youruser uh fuck you!?

bestieuser me too? isn't lando enough?

youruser everyday i wake up [crying]

f1gossippofficial

❤️ 98.5K 💬 11.1K

liked by bestieuser and others

f1gossippofficial lando and oscar brought a special guest to the paddock and spent the morning together in the mclaren garage 🩷

comments

user91 WHAT IS THIS

user92 are we witnessing landoscar happen in real life

user93 what in the wattpad love triangle

user94 i smell pr stunt

user95 if it is i'm sorry but they're not very good at it 💀

user96 lando should've just stuck with magui at this point

user97 you were all hating on her like two days ago pick a side

user98 what about yn picks a boy first

user99 girl really said: "lando or oscar?" "both. both is good"

user100 can't blame her honestly 🤷‍♀️

user101 okay but seriously who is she dating

user102 who said she's dating anyone

user103 DUDE AREN'T THESE PICTURES ENOUGH 😭😭😭

user104 there's something called "being friends" yk

user105 hate to break it to you but that's not what this is

user106 whatever floats your ship ig

user107 LMAOOO

bestieuser alright folks let's settle this down once and for all

youruser WHY ARE YOU EVERYWHERE

bestieuser shut up and let me do my job

bestieuser so who took my bitch:

bestieuser lando

❤️ 19620

bestieuser oscar

❤️ 10617

bestieuser i see you're all going for the safest answer

bestieuser interesting

youruser why tf did you turn my love life into a multiple choice question

bestieuser "love life" you say? 🧐

bestieuser sorry babe i think everybody saw that 😔🙏

user108 LANDO’S SMILE ❓️❓️❓️

user109 somebody's in looove 🤭

user110 i call oscar

lando youruser oscarpiastri

user111 HARD LAUNCH???

user112 SHE'S SO CUTE STOP

user113 big gremlin and tiny gremlin 💗💗💗

user114 THEY HAVE THE SAME SMILE I CAN'T

bestieuser blink twice if you were forced to do this

youruser 👁👁⚫️⚫️👁👁⚫️⚫️

bestieuser BRO WHAT IS THAT HAHAHA

youruser blinking duh???

youruser i was being held hostage 😰

lando liar

lando 🫵 you wanted this

user115 i'll physically fight anyone who dares to say they're not a couple

oscarpiastri ☝️😮

bestieuser speak up lover boy

user116 yeah girl we figured 🙄

user117 who are you actually going for tho

user118 i NEED to know who took that photo

user119 well we all know lando has a thing for photography

bestieuser fair but do you know who has a thing for the subject 🫢

user120 ???

user121 pretty 🥹

user122 this is too soft i'm gonna cry

user123 now say it with me: they! are! dating!

bestieuser yayyy 🥳

user124 GIRL IT'S TRUE???

bestieuser idk i just love saying random shit and watch you guys freak out ❤️

user125 you scare me

bestieuser yeah i have that effect on people

user126 THE SONG CHOICE AAAAAH

user127 you can't convince me that was casual

user128 THERE SHE GOES (my ship 🥰)

user129 help now i'm confused

user130 me too i have no idea what to think anymore

oscarpiastri

❤️ 1.1M 💬 12.2K

liked by youruser, lando, bestieuser and others

oscarpiastri yeah

comments

bestieuser MAMA Y PAPA 🦘🐨🫶

bestieuser fucking finally

bestieuser took you long enough

bestieuser btw where are my credits for the second picture 🤨

bestieuser my professional third wheeling ain't for free @.youruser

youruser wdym you love third wheeling us

bestieuser also true

user131 oscar what is that dry ass caption 😭

user132 might as well put bwoah

user133 LITERALLY THE FIRST THING I THOUGHT

user134 WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON

user135 proud to say i've been a ynoscar truther since day 1 💪

user136 now that i know i was right all along i can die peacefully

user137 WTFFF

user138 THEY LOOK SO HAPPY AND INNOCENT AND PURE I HOPE THEY NEVER EVER BREAK UP

❤️ by oscarpiastri and youruser

user139 if they do i'm suing

user140 new comfort couple

user141 am i the only one who finds this weird? i mean we all saw that photo of her flirting with lando a week ago...

youruser if you think asking a guy for his friend's number is flirting i have bad news for you buddy

user142 QUEEN BEHAVIOR

user143 i'm picturing her walking up to lando and him being all confident and shit and then she goes "your teammate's kinda cute"

bestieuser accuracy level: 100%

lando lowest moment of my career

youruser glad i humbled you then 😚

user144 i will never unsee this now

user145 DJ LANDO REALLY GOT THEM FALLING IN LOVE

❤️ by youruser, yourbestie, oscarpiastri and lando

© 2025 l4ndoflove. all rights reserved.

[peanutalergy]

child-free - s.r. × reader

reader doesnt want kids and thats the whole thing. hurt/comfort ? i think? i don't know sorry i'm a little drunk. fem!reader, husband!spencer, i imagined this as post-prison but i don't think it matters. i don't know. i hate this. sorryyyy

w/c: educated guess 950.

a/n: sorry i hate this i'm a little intoxicated and i have been since opening google docs. actually since before then. anyway requested here !! (lowkey recommend reading the request to know what this is about because i don't even think i know anymore) are the kids' names right? i don't know. idek what im doing with my life anymore bro.

a pair of baby boots at target.

this is the kind of thing you're supposed to discuss with your partner before even getting into a serious relationship.

you were sure you would've had the conversation with spencer before getting to this point. you had it all planned out in your mind, but he was down on one knee before you even brought up the idea of babies.

everyone knows he's great with children, and he never did much to hide how much he'd like to be a father. every day you've been with him, you hated that you could never give that to him.

maybe something within you hoped it would go away. maybe if you were married for long enough. maybe some second puberty would come to make you crave babies instead of just sex like the first one did. maybe you'd wake up some day and the feeling would be gone.

but seeing all of your friends give birth and tell their stories about it only made the fear worse.

now you have a husband who doesn't know about it.

maybe he has a feeling. maybe he can tell by the way you shut down whenever the subject is even remotely referenced. maybe he hears the subtle shake in your voice, the one you barely even notice, when you talk about jack, henry, and michael. he is a profiler, after all. maybe he knew it all along and he was fine with it.

no matter how much you tell yourself that, your heart drops when you see him being the way he is with kids.

a pair of pink baby boots, bunny ears and a red nose that make it almost a good idea. you're sure you would've loved them as a kid.

going shopping isn't a good choice if you're not in a good mood. from behind, his hands wrapping around your waist startle you just enough to get your eyes away from the boots that you wish came in a bigger size.

“they're out of the toothpaste we always get,” he rests his chin on your shoulder, “what're you looking at?”

you shrug. you try to ignore the hint of a smile you can hear in his voice when he spots the shoes in your hand, “these were just, uh… misplaced.”

“they're cute.” he nuzzles his face into the side of your neck (since when is he so into pda? since when does it make you uncomfortable?).

you try to let out a laugh, but all that comes out is a stiff huff of air. putting them aside, you grab whatever it was that you came to this aisle for, “the, uh… the other toothpaste is fine.”

he doesn't bring up your silence after that. not until nighttime, at least.

he wears the kind of t-shirts a (very nerdy) dad would wear to bed. not even the thought of him wearing them while making breakfast for the kids with his face makes it feel like a good idea.

“what's going on with you?”

“hm?”

“you've been quiet since the store.” and you stay quiet, now. “c'mon, angel. tell me, what's on that pretty head of yours?”

he can tell when you take a minute to think, and he gives it to you. warmer hands gently rub circles on your back as he waits for you to speak up, “i don't want to have kids.”

the silence makes you wonder if he's about to call a divorce lawyer. “okay.”

“okay?” you lift up your head from its designated spot, tucked under his chin, and you look at him with brows knitted together in surprise.

“yeah, okay.”

“you… you don't– i mean, you don't want to be a dad?”

“i don't have to be a dad.”

“spencer, you love kids.”

propping himself up on one elbow, he nods and looks at you with a reassuring smile, “i love you more.”

he lets out a small chuckle at your dumbfounded expression. there's another moment of silence, during which you examine his face and try to tell if he's lying, before he speaks up again, voice all love and honesty.

“i can't ask you to have children just because it's something i want.” kindly cutting your response off, he doesn't let you argue, “if i was so adamant on that, i would have made sure to talk to you about it before we got married. i'm not with you just because i want kids. i’m with you because of you. and i want to have the family you want. i don't want them, if you don't.”

foolishly, you didn't think he'd agree so easily. you find yourself stuck on trying to find something to say. what if you do, eventually? goes through your mind, but he's speaking again before you can even open your mouth.

“motherhood isn't the only part of being a woman, it's not even the biggest one. you don't have to be a mom, and i don't have to be a dad.”

how is he even real?

the lump in your throat, that is, for once, the good kind, makes it hard to speak. so, you wrap you hand around his neck and you kiss him in a way you can only hope expresses all the love you feel for him – you wouldn't be able to put it into words, anyway.

his warm breath brushes against the top of your hair, soft voice comforting all the fears that still linger even after you pull away.

finally, when he kisses your forehead, you don't get the bitter taste in your mouth imagining the disappointment he'd feel knowing he won't ever do that with your kid. you just feel the sickeningly sweet sensation of his skin on yours.

henry and michael don't get the friends jj said they would from you and spencer, but sergio surely does love the dogs and cats you both call your children.

[seobinghard]

𐙚⭑𓂃 LOVE ON THE STREET ✰

➤ you and wooyoung embark on a top-secret mission to stalk hongjoong on his date but find yourselves unceremoniously caught up in a scandalous street interview for a reality dating show. yikes.

pairing: best friend!wooyoung x fem!reader ⭑ tags: crack, fluff, wooyoung's the biggest flirt, hongjoong mentioned. ⭑ wc: 1k (i think) ⭑ tw: profanity, mention of d word in a sarcastic context.

"i'm telling you, they're like ninjas."

you and wooyoung are on a classified mission to stalk hongjoong on his first date and let's just say, it's not looking too good for you two nosy mfckers. you keep losing track of the couple, there's too many people at the plaza, and you're sweating your assess off under the midsummer sun trying to navigate your way through a sea of shoppers.

"woo, i think i'm gonna faint," you breath out. "like, actually."

"grab onto me," wooyoung tells you, tightening his grip on your interlaced hands as he leads you through the crowded square, unaware of the blush that's crept up your cheeks. "oh! wait, i see them! let's go!"

hand-in-hand, you sprint across the streets like two stray chickens charging at their prey—hongjoong and his date, chatting about outside a buzzling pizza stand with not a single clue they're being followed.

wooyoung spots a bush near a lemonade stall opposite the pizza stand. "there! let's hide. i need to know what the fuck they're talking about."

talk about nosiness—you got nothing on wooyoung.

you both scurry over to the bush, keeping your heads low. but just as you're meters away from your hideout, a group of people stops you on your tracks, shoving a gigantic microphone in your faces.

"what the fuck!" wooyoung hisses, eyes darting to the pizza stand only to realise hongjoong is gone.

"spotted! a cute young couple!" the street interviewer—a woman no older than thirty—chirps merrily, signalling her sound crew to come closer. "do you mind introducing yourselves and share with us how long you've been dating?"

you spot a pink logo on the mic—'LOVE ON THE STREET'.

oh my god. this isn't some lowkey tiktok street interviewer with 20k followers looking to grow her channel. no, this lady's an actual tv host with a whole production crew and you're on national fucking television for a reality dating show. oh my god.

your jaw is on the ground and wooyoung is pissed.

"we're not dating and we're not interested," wooyoung politely rejects with a frown.

he grabs your hand and attempts to make a dash but is blocked by the camera man who unabashedly zooms in on your interlocked fingers.

"ooooh, what do we have here—you're holding hands!" the host chimes cattily, sounding like one of those scandalous reality tv commentators; very 'gossip girl'-esque. "you guys sure you're not dating?"

wooyoung's patience is running thin. "alright, what do you want?"

"bro, we're on tv! don't be rude!" you whisper quietly.

wooyoung hasn't let go of your hand. instead, he looks straight into the camera with a deadpan look like a scene from 'the office' and says, "what do you want me to say, huh? that we're dating? oh! guess what? we're actually married. yes, yes, that's right. shocker. baby, show 'em your ring."

"what ring!" you hiss quietly in his ear.

wooyoung continues with the most serious face, lying straight through he teeth, "we've also got a golden retriever and three kids. a nine year old, a seven year old and a toddler—"

"wow you guys have been busy, huh? and um, a nine year old? correct me if i'm wrong but you both look so young!" the host laughs dramatically.

"yeah, we're high school sweethearts. got a problem?"

you want to die. he did not just insinuate you're teen parents.

"n-no, no!" the host corrects herself, "and are you two lovebirds on a date?"

wooyoung casts her a devilish grin, "yes, and if you don't mind, my wife is tired and we need to leave."

with that, wooyoung whisks you away as quick as he can into the ac-ventilated coolness of the shopping mall. he still hasn't let go of your hand.

a calm silence settles between the both of you. the air feels different. none of you brought up the whole interview and none of you seem like you want to continue mission 'stalk hongjoong' after running around town like headless chickens in the heat. so you decide to settle down in a baby blue booth at a japanese dessert cafe somewhere on level five by the wall-to-ceiling windows.

"you don't like the cake?" wooyoung asks before taking a long slurp from his strawberry milkshake.

you glance down at the strawberry cream cake, mindlessly poking the icing-dusted strawberry with your fork. "it's good."

"why aren't you eating?"

maybe because you just announced to the whole world we're married with three kids and a dog ??? — is what you want to yell at him but instead, you calmly lie, "i have ibs."

wooyoung lets out a verbal 'LOL' then proceeds to rake his bag for a familiar green bottle of ibs medication. you don't even realise he's been carrying one of those with him—he doesn't even have ibs. wooyoung coolly hands you a pill. "take this."

"thanks," you mutter, pretending to swallow the pill only to swiftly spit it back into your palm when he's not looking.

ugh, why does it feel so awkward all of a sudden. awkwardness and wooyoung has never coexisted, even during your most embarrassing moments like that one time in eleventh grade when he walked in on you with nothing but your spongebob underwear on. or that one time he farted in the car and you almost died from the fumes. it's always been fun and games with wooyoung. nothing is ever serious for the both of you—that's why you click.

until now.

"y/n, what's wrong? i can see it in your face so don't even lie to me," wooyoung threatens playfully as he steals a bite from your cake.

"i don't know."

what you do know is wooyoung looks so good today with his long black hair, slicked back in a half-up ponytail with the hair tie he stole from your vanity. a few loose strands of hair covers his eyes; eyes that are gazing into yours like it's harbouring something you don't know. his ears are studded with chrome hearts earrings and a matching necklace that dangles off his neck—his favourite. he's wearing the black tee you got for him last christmas. the thought makes you flustered and you can't help but look away.

and of course, wooyoung being quick-witted and sly, instantly catches the dust of pink on your cheeks and smirks, "holy shit, y/n, are you ... shy?"

"no, i'm not!"

"you are!" wooyoung laughs, "no way, is it because of that interview?"

"oh my god, stoppp," you let out a muffled shriek in your palms.

wooyoung is enticed. he's never seen you this shy around him and honestly, he could really get used to it.

"oh, y/n," he coos, drawling your name in a tone so sweet, so flirty it makes your stomach flutter. "if you wanna get married, you could've just asked, silly girl."

he leans in from across the table and whispers, "you want my babies?"

you gawk at him in horror and flick a strawberry at his face. "you perv!"

"ah—" wooyoung yelps, wiping off the smeared cream on his eyelid, "you almost made me blind! the fuck— wait, where are you going?"

you pick up your bag and hurriedly scoot out of the booth. "away from your stupid ass. i can't be in the same space as you right now."

"what, is it 'cause i'm too hot?" wooyoung grins, "just sayin', we'd make a hot married couple, you and me– baby, come back!"

[jetblack4realz]

better - jj maybank

summary - in between season 3 & 4 when they're building their lives with the gold and jj wants to get his act together for you

word count - 1.9k

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you were an artist. you always had been - whether it was drawing random doodles on the side of your worksheet in class, or sketching out the boys' names in fancy calligraphy, or coming up with a new layout and decorating scheme for the chateau when you deemed it bland (after john b refused to let you paint all over the twinkie), or even reworking furniture to flip and sell to make a few bucks, you were always artsy. it had begun to work out really well for them.

you designed the surf shop and all of poguelandia with the help of your uncle, who was a contractor by trade. you carefully curated the indoor and outdoor decor, picking out pieces unique to your friends and your story and making it a homely, pseudo-trendy little shop. only when that was finished and you had it running did you turn your attention to your guys' home.

jj loved watching you work. at the moment, you had sarah helping you finish up the paint for the main living room as you put a final coat of white on the shiplap accent wall you'd had jj install for you. you had him put a similar one in your shared room upstairs, but had yet to paint it, claiming that you'd rather have everyone's space finished before focusing on your own.

john b walked in the kitchen and spotted the boy seated at the bar, his fingers typing away at the laptop you had gotten from your parents when you were sixteen - you know, before you'd jumped ship and left home to find treasure with your friends. he grabbed a can of lemonade from the fridge as he furrowed his brows, coming up behind his best friend. he squinted his eyes at the screen.

"job listings? what are you-?"

the lid slammed shut on the computer, jj spinning around with a shake of his head.

"it's nothing, bro, okay? don't worry about it."

john b stared at him incredulously. "j you have a job here. we literally own a business now, what are you-?"

"outside," jj said shortly, standing and walking out the back door quickly, john b following after. you looked up from your spot in the living room, glancing back at sarah with a shrug once the boys slipped outside.

once they stood face to face again, john b gestured for him to go on. "so?"

"look," jj said with a sigh. "i know we've got this shop, and it's so great. but, i just keep feeling like it's all too good to be true. like, we have this money now, but it's all gonna be gone in a second."

"it will be if you're the one in charge of it," john b said offhandedly. jj sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"and i know that too, alright? which is why i need more," he answered.

"why? what's going on that you need more money - and money that's separate from us?" john b asked, staring the boy down in pure curiosity. jj's eyes weren't on him though, instead going through the sliding glass door that separated them from their girls right to where you were painting once more, bobbing your head to the rhythm of the music sarah had turned on. "oh."

jj let out another heavy breath. "you and sarah are like, married now, right? and i can hear you guys when you're talking about starting a life together and me and y/n have started talking about it too recently... just, when the time comes i want to be able to provide for us. i want to be able to go out and buy her a ring and a dress and marry her and never have her worried about finances ever again. we've both had to deal with too much of that."

"wow, jayj," john b breathed out, a soft smile pulling at his lips as he rested a hand on his shoulder. "i'm impressed. you're really pulling it together, aren't you?"

"i'm trying," he said with a sigh. "i've worked a lot of jobs before and i'm willing to do it again. anything to make sure she's happy."

"she'll be happy with you no matter how much money you make," john b promised as he smiled at him. "and we'll all always have each other's backs. even if when y'all decide you want to be together forever you don't have all the money you want, we'll help you buy that ring and that dress and get it done."

"thanks, jb," jj breathed out, but with the lack of a smile and the tenseness in his shoulders still, john b knew he wasn't going to be accepting handouts anytime soon. even if it was still shared money between friends and not just handouts.

you'd recruited him to help finish up a few things in your bedroom, managing to finagle a thrifted and refinished dresser up the stairs and below the tv you'd stolen from your old bedroom. jj began hanging curtains as you put both sets of y'all's clothes away, giving yourself one extra drawer for your extra clothes. he finished before you did, watching you with a smile as you tucked his shirts into the top drawer all organized by color, finally shutting it to be done with the task.

"last thing to do is the bed," you hummed as you turned to him with a smile. you moved to begin pulling the white sheets on, jj tucking the corners before you grabbed out the blue comforter with a simple white stripe pattern that alternated thicknesses. "i nabbed this from my grandparents - my nana always buys them when they're on sale for christmas and never does anything with them."

"i know," he said with a light laugh, grabbing the opposite edge from you and helping you pull it over the sides. "she gave one to me for my birthday once. didn't exactly know why."

"because that's what she had and she probably felt bad," you answered, laughing softly with him. you tossed the throw blanket kie had given you for your birthday a few years back onto the corner to add dimension to the look, finally placing the two throw pillows you'd let yourself splurge $30 on at kohl's at the center. you smiled, glancing around the room before looking back at jj. "there. our room is complete."

he sauntered around the bed with a grin, taking you in his arms and leaning in close to your face as he met your eyes. "our own room, with our things, in our house with our friends, on our land, with our business down the road by our boat."

"our boat?" you asked with a teasing smile, hands wrapping around his neck as he held you close to him. "it's mine too?"

"what's mine is yours, princess," he told you, pressing a short kiss to your lips.

"even the dirtbike?" you asked, a brow raised in jest as a teasing smile tugged one corner of your mouth up.

"well, sure. it's yours too, but that doesn't mean you get to ride it, sweet thing," he answered with an amused grin, pressing more kisses to your lips and jaw.

"our next purchase should be a car. or a truck. an old truck. i like old trucks," you told him as his lips trailed to your neck. he paused, bringing his head back up to meet your eyes again, though his grip tightened on you.

"me too," he mumbled. "but, i think there's something we need to buy first."

"what?" you asked, tilting your head curiously. he glanced his focus between your eyes, a soft smile pulling at his lips.

"well, actually... i already bought it," he hummed. you sighed.

"and how much was it?" you asked, raising a brow.

"does it matter?" he asked, raising his brows as his smile grew.

"jay..." you groaned, head falling back in exasperation. "we talked about budgeting-"

"hey, hey, hey, hold on," he said, pulling you closer to him and catching your eyes again. his smile was mischievous as ever as he turned slowly, turning you with him. "you don't even know what it is yet."

you sighed, a small smile sneaking its way onto your lips. "alright. what is it?"

"well, my first paycheck just came in from working with your uncle, and i thought i might as well get it now," he said, dragging his words in the suspense as you continued to eye him. he looked you up and down, his smile still wide as he winked. "have i told you how good you look in that dress?"

"every time i've worn it," you laughed. "reckon that's why you bought it for me."

"damn right," he said, pressing a quick kiss to your lips. you giggled against him before pushing him back, raising your brows.

"what is it?" you asked, almost eager now. "what'd you buy?"

surprisingly, he released you, stepping back as he shoved a hand in his pocket. his smile was wide, but his eyes softened as he brought his hand out in front of him. he breathed out his next words nervously; "i really hope you like it."

and then he was on his knee, and in his fingers was a dainty, gold ring with a small circle diamond on top. right there, in the room you'd just finished, the room you shared, in the house you and your friends rebuilt, with the shop you owned just down the beach - he was proposing.

"i really want to marry you," he breathed out with a nervous laugh, his fingers squeezing the ring tightly. "you're the love of my life, y/n. i really don't know what i'd do without you. being with you has been the easiest and best damn thing i've ever done and i want to be with you for as long as you'll let me. so, will you please marry me? i promise to provide for you and be there for you and-"

"yes," you said, beaming as you took his face in your hands. you laughed lightly. "absolutely yes, jayj."

he kissed you quickly, standing and wrapping his arms around your waist as he leaned into you. when he pulled back, he was laughing, causing you to let out a few giggles, wiping away a small tear at the corner of his eye. he kissed you shortly before bringing the ring to you, slipping it on the proper finger with a certain look of pride in his eye.

"it's uh, it's not much, it's not even a real diamond but i-"

"i love it," you cut him off, holding his hand as you glanced between him and the ring, beaming. "i love it, jayj. thank you."

he smiled, a breath of relief slipping past his lips as he gathered you in his arms again, spinning you quickly. he pulled back and pressed a chaste kiss to your lips again before stepping back away from you. he let out an excited whoop, grinning at you. he grabbed your hand and pulled the door open, dragging you with him down the stairs.

"she said yes!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

thanks for reading! leave a request in the comments or message me privately! i love writing, so if you've got an idea you need fleshed out on paper i'd love to be the one to do that for you

masterlist!!

[noodletime]

Idk if I just can’t find it on your blog, but I beg of you if you haven’t already, please post your wonderful Ken x reader here, too, because I want to reblog it to my own blog so badly but I can only spam hearts in the TGD community tab! You’ve got me crushing on a guy with a knife in his head, it’s just too good to not reblog, too!

OMG your right,,, im so sorry yall,,

HERES TO THE FOLKS WHO WANTED IT IN PUBLIC AND NOT ON COMMUNITY PAGE!!!!!!!!!

(inspiration/idea by @corni-the-flowercat)

Ken X Wife!Reader Headcannons

GIF by veelzebub-the-dingus

Ohhh, where to begin. First off, you have NO idea how you got into the situation of marrying a sadistic butcher and gaining both a yeast golem son and a *human* daughter. But who cares? You have managed to get by just fine, and that isn't a problem for you at all!

You and Ken were a PERFECT match. From the day you two locked eyes with eachother, he knew his future would become brighter from that day onward. And he was right! Ken has never felt lonely ever since, and neither have you!

You two often take turns running the shop while the other goes out on a mission. When you walk back into that shop with bits of purple blood on your clothes and hair he SWOONS at the sight of you. And he'll gladly help you clean up after yourself after a mission. Change of clothes? Hes got a folded pile ready in your rooms. Need a wash? Shower/bath has been made sure theres enough hot water. Feeling tense? You'd be surprised that his large hands can do a good massage!

When your not out on a mission and instead holding down the shop, your glad to do so! Especially with the kids, they wouldn't admit it but they adore you more than Ken..

Speaking of, you've never been happier to be the proud parent of Breadhead and Mel! Often helping them serve customers, wash dishes and cook up some recipies for the orders. Mel likes to play tiny tricks with you and often bets on random things. E.g. who can serve the most people before Breadhead finishes a song on the piano? And Breadhead certainly is a mama's boy when it comes to you. Any buisness you ask him to do WILL be taken care of, whether you ask him or not.

Oh, and you have a.."friendly" banter with Mud often. You'll catch him stealing a few scarab, so you go over and SLAM your fist into his stomach so he retches them all back up. You'll be serving up a customers order, and all of a sudden the plate is gone (and Mud has an awfully cheeky grin on his face).

But anyways, back onto Ken! When theres a slow day in the shop, and the two of you are alone, Ken would walk over to the record player and put on a song for you two to dance to! Often its a slow song, but if a slightly quicker song comes on? Ken WILL have to learn to match your speed quickly, or else!

Acts of affection are often acts of service or physical affection. If your standing near him you'll possibly find his hand your shoulder or waist. He'll go and gift you anything he thinks you'll like, from fancy clothes to jewelry and such -- he gets paid a good amount of scarab, so you don't have to worry about the costs.

DEFINETLY the big spoon, this man is so large he takes atleast more of the bed you two share (bro IS the bed 😭😭/j /j /j ). He'll be curled up around you while you rest in his strong grasp, his body protecting yours from the cold outside. It'll take a while for you to escape it, however. If you need to go grab something before you go back to sleep, you'll have to wake him up first, and hes a HEAVY sleeper.

When going on missions TOGETHER, you two are an unstoppable force. Tearing through anything you can see until you get to your objective. No opposing gang is safe from the smiling dead duo's grasp! Plus Ken LOVES the way you become so unhinged in the heat of the moment. Your crooked smile, bloodlustful eyes and crazed hair make you all so charming in a way Ken can't explain.

Although, such a relationship with a guy like him *does* come with its cons, especially with his mood swings. Your the one to try and make him calm down when he snaps, and for most of the time it works! Until it doesn't, and now your faced with a raging, monsterous tryant (who is also your husband) in front of you. When you two get into arguements, theres always two main factors: One, its about one/both of your kids health and safety. And two, it never goes and/or ends pretty. Lots of yelling, accusing and angry gestures all over. But don't worry, if theres anyone whos apologising first, it'll be Ken.

How he apologises is either him talking to you up-front about it, or leaving a few thoughtful gifts in places where you often walk to inside the shop. It might be on your shared bed, on the counter or maybe even in the freezer. Either way, he feels bad for yelling at you, and wants to make it up to you no matter what. How could you say no?

Overrall, hes a sweetheart. Your so lucky you married him out of all the rotlings out there in the Gaslight District. Your life has been crazy, but your glad that your darling husband will be there by your side no matter what, and the rest of your family too. <3

[cakeandpudding1]

I need a part 2 of Beelzebub x Arché! Reader. What if the gods held a court meeting to see the potential danger of the reader and Odin's goals. When Odin wants to evade the assumptions of the people in the congregation (or even to the point of telling the reader to kill everyone there), the reader instead says that he does not want to destroy the people of gods or humans because he plans to marry Beelzebub.

Or showing how he REALLY loves Beelzebub by fuckin him shamelessly infront of them all.

Tyy pookie!! ^⁠_⁠^

Bro I love this😭 primordial god reader is mad interesting.

Beelzebub × Dom!male!primordial god!reader

....

All eyes were on you, as you as you feasted on food, ignoring everyone's prying eyes. Man, food has really became tastier huh? It's been so long since you've eaten like this. Beelzebub just sat there uncomfortably, glancing at you a few times before returning his eyes down.

Everyone was suspicious of Odin, if anything bad was included in his plans that could potentially lead to the destruction of the gods, everyone knew they had to stop him.

Odin was obviously aware that there were too many of the strongest gods there, capable of ganging up on his ass. But, he knew that none of them combined, could leave a single scratch on you. But look at you over there, moronic and stupidly eating food without a care about giving respect. Hey, to your defense, you were alive before zues, and possible as old as the other primordials.

it should be THEM to pay their respects to you. But it was a little difficult to believe that you were older, looking at how young you acted. like a matured/(not really) matured young adult who probably eats pizza slices for dinner.

"Hey, old man. Are you sure you ain't up to anything suspicious? Things don't seem very 'normal' to me." Shiva spoke, two of his arms on his head while having his other two arms crossed. Odin closed his eyes, starting to get irritated, wanting to avoid anyone's assumptions and suspicions of his plans.

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"then what about the guy sitting in this room right now? Doesn't seem to me like he's anyone you'd just walk by." Loki teasingly joked, knowing he'd get on the old man's nerves. "I agree, seeing a primordial god...isn't something you'd just see out of the blue" Thor spoke, everyone gathering their assumptions and ideas for the so called "all-realm-altering god".

Finally, Odin's last nerve popped, before he slowly spoke. "(M/n), if you want to prove to them that you are really so powerful, why don't you just kill everyone here?"

Everyone's eyes popped open, immediately turning their heads to you, who stopped chewing, your eyes slowly darting up to meet their gazes.

"No."

"what do you mean 'no'? You don't plan on killing all the gods and ruling over all realms?"

"Its not that I can't. I'm simply uninterested." With one more chew, you continued "I plan to marry Beelzebub." And with that statement, everyone was speechless. Zues chuckling while Loki grinned, "my my, I didn't know that even an all powerful deity would be interested in such.. matters~"

"ooh! Ooh! I have a question! How strong are primordial gods? Can we fight? Please please please??" A hyper, dog like god spoke. His name was...Anubis? Right, that's his name. He's quite energetic, you only chuckled and shook your head. "No, not right now. Once I settle in, I'll give you a good fight, okay buddy?" He whimpered sadly at your response, sitting down with a huge frown.

Then, you suddenly got serious as you looked back to the others.

"now, speaking of our marriage. If any of you try to interfere with my plans, it will end in bloodshed. Every single one of you will have their heads displayed on a shelf. Do not test me."

That statement was enough to make everyone feel dread. They knew that no matter how strong or respected they were, they can not lay anything on you. You were far more than just powerful. An unmeasured type of power that many seeked to have, but could never get.

Your hands trailed onto Beelzebub's face, giving him a heated kiss, and a beast like grin. His pretty face was a huge turn on.

you felt lust grow when you eyed Beelzebub, before standing up and bending him over. Everyone's mouth dropped when you started brutally fucking him at an intense speed, as he just took it, whining and crying for you. His legs spread wide open, his hole already very agape, which was proof of your cock inside of him a little while ago before the meeting.

"still so wide and pretty for me..."

Everyone present just decided to leave, knowing that they couldn't utter a word in your presence. Beelzebubs moans the only thing that could be heard in the room while you put him in multiple positions.

Odin sighed, deciding that he'd just have to talk to you some other time. For now, everyone should just leave you to the poor god, who was bended over and now covered in kisses and hickies. Your wife, male wife, as you'd like to call it.

When I tell you all of Valhalla shook from the force and speed of your pounding, I mean it.

You couldn't wait for the marriage, you'd fuck him in front of everyone after you'd seal your kiss, and that was a mental note you made sure to remember. You wer gonna show everyone who your territory was. And how they couldn't do a thing about it. Man, he'd look so pretty in a wedding dress.

You couldn't wait.

[cerebralisis]

I decided to make my analysis of So High School into a separate post, because I can’t help but think of this song every time I see photos of Taylor at the games. And sure, it sounds like a love song on the surface until you remember that Taylor was bullied in high school and start to dig a little deeper. Feeling "so high school" is not something a 34 year old woman wants to feel.

Let’s look at the lyrics.

"I'm sinking, our fingers entwined, cheeks pink in the twinkling lights" = To me this sounds like drowning, embarrassment, and diving in with the sharks

"Tell me 'bout the first time you saw me" = You mean her first Chiefs appearance when they 'slid off in the getaway car' at the end? Nothing good starts in a getaway car, babes.

"I'll drink what you think and I'm high from smoking your jokes all damn night" = I mean...

“I'm watching American Pie with you on a Saturday night" = What do we know about this movie? We know that it is renowned for its high school immaturity and misogyny. It’s about a bunch of horny boneheaded men who treat women like sex objects instead of people. Sounds a lot like football culture to me.

"Your friends are around so be quiet. I'm trying to stifle my sighs." = I'm in the box with your friends and family. I need to hold it together so I don't offend them, but I legit hate this.

"Cause I feel so high school" = SHE HATES THIS.

"Bittersweet 16 suddenly" = I don't think she was a fan of high school, you guys.

"Are you gonna marry, kiss, or kill me? It's just a game but really, I'm betting on all 3." = A clear reference to that kiss/marry/kill interview with Travis, while also saying "we're gonna get together, put on a show for everyone, and I'm going to slowly die inside until we're done."

"Get my car door, isn't that sweet. Now pull me to the backseat" = All I hear with this is Movie Director Taylor giving instructions to her leading man so they can get a good reaction from the audience.

"You know how to ball, I know Aristotle." = You're a jock. I'm a nerd. We are not compatible.

"Touch me while your bros play grand theft auto." = The official song lyrics on Spotify put grand theft auto in lowercase the first time and capitalized the second time. The capitalized GTA could refer to Travis's friends playing the video game, sure. But also - you know who was arrested in August 2023 for grand theft auto? Bashaud Breeland, a cornerback for the Kansas City Chiefs who played with Travis in the 2020 Super Bowl.

"It's true, swear, Scout's Honor" = Look it up, I dare you.

And my absolute favorite:

"On the brink of a wrinkle in time" = This is TTPD, folks. Of course there's going to be a literary reference. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle. The main character is a girl named Meg who is incredibly bright but struggles in school because she doesn't fit in with the other kids. After meeting a trio of badass witchy women, Meg travels to far-off worlds (a sort of deep portal time travel, you might say) where she joins the battle of light vs. darkness. What do we know about Taylor’s usage of light and darkness throughout her discography? It's giving… Reputation vs. Daylight? Shrouded in secrecy vs. out in the open? Based on everything else that Taylor has been hinting at through TTPD (not to mention Evermore and Midnights), it sounds like she is on the verge of diving into a much larger battle. And if I had to guess, I would bet that this battle will start during the Reputation re-release. Around Halloween. 🎃 When exile ends. Almost exactly 2 years after the Bejeweled music video was released. Maybe the old Taylor can't come to the phone right now cause she's dead?

I'm just speculating, but I will add that the 3rd book in the Time series is called A Swiftly Tilting Planet. There is a poem referenced through the book that goes like this:

With Ananda in this fateful hour, I place all Heaven with its power, And the sun with its brightness, And the snow with its whiteness, And the fire with all the strength it hath, And the lightning with its rapid wrath, And the winds with their swiftness along its path, And the sea with its deepness, And the rocks with their steepness, And the Earth with its starkness, All these I place with God's almighty help and grace between myself and the powers of darkness.

The word ‘Ananda’ mentioned above is the name of a character in the book, which is significant to the story because it’s a Sanskrit word that describes the eternal bliss that accompanies the ending of the rebirth cycle. If this series is what Taylor is referencing then it’s sounding more and more like she’s going to kill off Taylor TM and be done with the games, done with the reinvention. The plot summary of A Swiftly Tilting Planet says that it’s a book about "going back in time and changing might-have-beens." What decisions would she have made differently if she could do it all over again?

I don't know, friends. Take from this what you will. All I know is, this woman and all her brilliant duality is going to send me to a padded room. ✌🏻

[kaqtusm]

Things I do instead of writing my fic aka the Domingo song but make it Jegulus

[Peter, Sirius and Remus]

The groomsmen wanted a celebration

So we took a trip, bachelor vacation

'Cause we know he needs one, a break from Lily

Just kidding, Lils, we're glad he has you

We're out, the shots are flowing, yeah

Guys on the dance floor grooving, yeah

We say, "No thanks, he's taken," yeah

Now he's with a hot guy, but he looks straight, heard his name is Regulus

Second location, maybe he's bi, still dancing with Regulus

Third location, fully gay, fully touching Regulus

"I can't wait to be married," he's pointing to Regulus

[Lily]

So quick question, who's Regulus?

[James]

Oh, just Sirius’ brother we randomly met at the club, I told you about him

[Lily]

I'm positive you did not

[Peter, Sirius and Remus]

In the bathroom, we take him outside

He says, "Don't worry, we won't cross the line"

"Think of your fiancé," he says, "Good reminder"

Hands me his ring, then we can't find him

[Lily]

You took off your ring? Is this true?

[James]

Well, I just didn't want to lose it in the hot tub

[Lily]

What hot tub?

[Peter, Sirius and Remus]

Now we're back in the house, in the hot tub, he's there with Regulus

Ask us to leave, get a hotel, he's vibing with Regulus

[Lily]

You asked them to leave and get a hotel?

[James]

Shh! You’re missing it

[Peter, Sirius and Remus]

At the Marriott, googling Regulus

Just to make sure he's not psycho

But he's actually a doctor and randomly a model

And he volunteers with weird, sick animals (Oh-oh!)

[Lily]

Is the point of this song just that James cheated on me all weekend?

[Peter]

No, the point is, it's Espresso

[Sirius]

You’re not even listening to the lyrics

[Lily]

That’s all I'm listening to!

[Peter, Sirius and Remus]

The next day, he said, "Nothing happened"

They talked all night about you, Lily

Then at brunch, he just starts crying

We ask him, "Why?", he says, "I'm just so tired"

We say, "Take a nap"

He says, "I'm not that kind of tired"

[Lily]

Okay, I need answers now about you and whoever this Regulus guy is

And not for nothing, but the rhyme scheme has gone completely out the window

[James]

Okay look, I'm sorry I met someone I connected with, but Regulus is in the past

[Regulus]

James, I'm here!

[Lily]

See now, if this is Regulus, I'm gonna be pissed

[Regulus]

Hey girl!

Came all this way, had to explain, direct from Regulus

James is a friend, he’s like my bro, but we did hook up though

[Lily]

What? Why would you guys tell me this through song?

[James]

I hope we can still be friends

[anonymouscheeses]

The Morningstar family :)

First off, king of hell himself, Lucifer! I incorporated all of the animals he transformed into in the battle with Adam scene(goat, horse, snake, and duck but i wont include duck since hes obsessed already) Because I kept looking up what animals lucifer has been depicted as and was like, yeah nvm let's jst use this one scene and call it a day. His wings are black instead of white with black tips to further imply lil bro is a fallen angel. Made him doll-like to be similar to his daughter a bit but also they aren't freaking carbon copies of eachother, she is unique I swear guys. He's also not an all powerful being, he has limits, he gets tired quickly and his physical strength is LOW ASF he cannot throw a punch for the life of him. Personality wise, he is judgemental, prideful, and neglectful. But it's okay cuz he's silly 😐 /j he is super different, and it takes years for Charlie and him to be on speaking terms. He's trying, but is that enough?

Lillith!!! The first succubi, from what I know. I didnt include succubi features because I'm an idiot and forgot that was a concept. Sure it may not be canon anymore, or at all maybe, but I would've liked to make it true ☹️ there's not alot known about her in the show and we don't know why she is in heaven (if that's even her tbh). So once we know I'll either rewrite that or keep it as it is, not sure. But this Lillith does own Alastor's soul, she knows that he is one of the most unusual and powerful sinner in hell, so once she flees to heaven she gains his soul to keep an eye on Charlie, in return she gives him influence over hell(being that she influences hell with her voice) The radio station and all, since that's pretty much all he wants. He gives her info on the hotel's progress and how Charlie is doing, she just wants to be there. Personality is uh, calm, ambitious, and generous, yet negatively she is strict and wants things her way. She is the one closest to Charlie and very dear to her, which is why Charlie always tries to call her instead of Eve or Lucifer. Even though Charlie knows now she won't pick up the phone anymore, maybe ever again. It still comforts her to call anyways.

Lastllyy, Eveeee!! She's a pretty silly lil gal. She ate the apple of knowledge, so she was cursed to forever be reminded of it when she sees her tail. Oh yeah, they are also all married! Lillith's ring is under her glove. Anyway, she is pretty powerful despite her having no demon form. She already looks demon enough to fit in. So she does, she goes into pentagram city often and creates bonds with the people. Some know she is Eve and some just see her as a friendly yet powerful individual. Her magic is similar to Charlie's, she got the fireworks coming out of her finger from Eve, and they both can heal their body parts. Charlie doesn't know it because she hasn't needed to yet. Eve uses her charm to be friends with the people of hell, Lillith uses it to gain an army for the fight against heaven, Lucifer couldn't care less and coops himself up in his castle. Personality wise, she is very golden retriever, peaceful, and honest, yet also neglectful being that she spends time with demons rather than her own daughter. (She's barely there with Charlie even before she disappeared along with Lillith. But when they moved to the hotel she tried to make up for it.)

She regretted the marriage. For years.

The potential of Lillith angst is immeasurable, it's painful. Imagine being the first woman, forced into a marriage with a controlling man, falling in love with an angel, the other angels forbidding that, you both try to get Eve to join your relationship, she takes the apple but evil and such take over the world, and then because of your lover's dreams you are all sent to hell. Freaking horrible.

Demon forms!! Charlie gained Lillith's demon form, but I may give her dragon wings to make up for it. Messy doodle I knowww *sob*. Eve doesn't have one because the elder angels stripped that away form her because they were terrified of all of them having stronger forms. They are also ALL cursed with different features. Soo uh, Lucifer has one red eye to remind him of his evil side, he also has all sort of animal details and doll features because he's a mess and a control freak! :3 Lillith has horns, hooves, and a tail because she joined the devil. Eve is blind, the angels ripped her eyes out because she dares to willingly see the devil and his bride, she has wings on each side of her head because she was also a fallen angel(it was hell, because she was unhappy in being Adam's wife, it was temporary as she made herself go to hell instead of being kicked out.) She has a snout and ears too, cuz goat, and a tail with a shape of an apple at the end. Eve was done the worse oh lawwdd 😭😭

BABY CHARLIE!! She at one point HAD to have worn overalls. Right? PLEASE?? I don't know how to draw toddlers bear with me here.

Emo Charlie! Yayy.... she got her period so now she's an adult. 💀 little does she know it's actually a trauma response to being neglected so she tries to get attention by being weird!! 😃👍 (I ruined emo Charlie now)

(I have no idea how to do aesthetics... I'm in pain.)

When I said Lucifer is judgemental, prideful, and neglectful, I meant it. He's a horrible person. But he's trying to be better. That doesn't make him good nor excuse his behavior, he deserves the consequences. Which is why I don't like Lucifer in the show. He is NOT a good person but in one episode he is deprived from the karma of YEARS of neglect and shame. He just says "oh ill support you now" despite two episodes later the message is that actions speak louder than words which only applies to Vaggie for some reason. Why is Lucifer all of a sudden the exception? Oh right cuz he's a silly dad with depression so it's fine(Sorry but this genuinely pisses me off). And people in the fandom have demonized Charlie for being "mean" to him, when she is honestly so valid for reacting like that. The thing is, I don't hate Lucifer. Which is why I hate him if that makes sense. I hate that I like a character that shouldn't be liked yet. This should have been an arc for season 2. This scene should have been the start of the journey. The scene I drew out above is in ep 5 and it's the only interaction they get (it replaces the more than anything scene)

Charlie has no idea how humans/sinners work. She likes to observe them but never quite gets the purpose of their actions. She's emotionally unintelligent like in the show. Which lemme just say, is a FLAW. Characters have FLAWS PEOPLE. If I see another person shaming her for indirectly hurting Angel in episode 4 I'm going to lose it 🥰 she doesn't get emotions, she doesn't understand how people work, because she's been in isolation her entire 200+ years of living maybe less. But still this is all new to her and she is not at fault at all for that (im projecting probably) 🙄 (this is before Vaggie is revealed to be a fallen angel ofc). She's so in awe at her people, it's like a new world and she just wants to understand. It's kinda creepy but y'know it's a Charlie thing. Vaggie also is emotionally unintelligent but that's because she never used to focus on relationships or bonding. Which causes bad communication and problems between the two, YAY DEVELOPMENT!!

Idk bro I just wanted to draw her full demon form again. Uhh from the last time I drew I gave her... a new outfit, darker fur to match her skin, uhh, and dragon wings. Ya thas all but I like this one so much more already lmao. I got the fire hair idea because when she gets angry in the show(+pilot) her hair would defy gravity and it would remind me of yknow.. fire.

They're first meeting went swell! Unlike Lucifer and Vaggie's... but that's for later. Emily grew up afraid of hell but especially Lucifef and turning out the way he did. She still is but she's getting used to having the monster of her bed time stories be a short gummy bear. (Takes place when Charlie and Lucifer are in... better terms I guess) Also, Vaggie and Lucifer's first meet? Not great. Let's just say... Vaggie replaced Alastor and it become "Hell's Greatest Pal" or somthn like that. But yeah, Lucifer didn't really like Vaggie, not because she's a woman n homophobia hellll no his wives are wives, but because he didn't think she was good enough for her. Being a sinner n all. He's a hypocrite like that 😭 plus, he knew Vaggie was a fallen angel but he's not a monster so he didn't say anything. Just passively jabbing at the fact she is in the song to make her scared.

And one last doodle before I sign off!

These six bro... my absolute favorites <3 if you want please send in a request of them and their relationships I'm so desperate I love them sm (especially chaggily butttt lucifers stolen wives(that's the ship name I made 😭) too)

I hope you liked my rambel... my rewrite.... my redesigns.... and my stupidness... have a great day lmao

[lets-just-daydream]

i wanted more to astarion's storyline at cazadork's palace so here we are with my overactive imagination. also a hug for astarion because bro needs it

Summary:

It's almost time. Beyond the large ornate doors you'll find Cazador; you steel yourselves but a whisper of your name catches your attention from one of the prisoners behind the gate. An old flame.

(aka imagine you run into an old friend instead of astarion running into sebastian)

"No really, tell me more," Astarion said, barking out a laugh.

You hid behind your goblet of wine and laughed at his curiosity. "Have I really never told you about him?"

You had offhandedly mentioned an old flame of yours from a couple of years ago and this piqued Astarion's interest. The two of you sat side-by-side in front of the campfire, the rest of your company already retired to bed and as per usual, you and Astarion were still up.

"No, you haven't. So go on, tell me everything," Astarion said.

How to explain your strange relationship with Xavier. "Well, he's from a more or less noble family in Baldur's Gate and his father never really approved of our friendship. You know, with me being not at all noble."

Astarion kept quiet, sipping his wine as you explained.

"We spent a lot of time together and one day, I stopped seeing him as a friend and I fell in love with him, I think. He felt the same, too. He was walking me home one night after we'd been out at a tavern and when he saw me to my door, he kissed me."

You smiled and your cheeks flushed slightly at the memory. Astarion raised a brow and felt an unfamiliar pang in his chest at your expression. He couldn't help but wonder. Who was this man? Why wasn't he around anymore? Did you still love him?

You cleared your throat and continued. "After that night… I never saw him again. I assume his father found out about us and had him sent off and married to some noblewoman."

"What? He kissed you and then he disappeared?"

"Yes. I still don't know what he's up to now but I hope he's happy and out of his father's clutches."

Astarion put his wine down. You had fallen in love, kissed him and he had disappeared after the fact and you weren't cursing his name to the hells and back? Astarion figured you'd be at least a little bit slighted but you only wished the best for this Xavier.

"Do you still love him?"

You looked up at the pale elf and let out a laugh. "No, that was a long time ago. I still get a bit sad when I think back on it because we were so naïve and full of hope for the future," you said, a wistful smile on your lips.

Astarion knew this man could still be out there. You could still find him and return to him and at that thought he felt his chest burn. He didn't want you to find Xavier. Astarion wanted to be the one you thought of when you had these small wistful smiles on your face.

Sure, the sex you two had a couple times since meeting was great and Astarion had told you that his feelings were more than superficial at this point. But in an act of self-preservation he hadn't told you just how intense his feelings for you were. He figured you felt at least a little bit the same but this Xavier revelation threw him for a loop.

The elf played it off and held his hand out to you which you took. "Still, that must have been awful for you."

You nodded and didn't much feel like reminiscing on the past anymore. Instead, you decided to look to the journey ahead and what you were doing tomorrow. The real reason Astarion was still up tonight.

"Are you sure you're ready for this, Astarion?" You asked as you stared into the flames of the campfire.

Astarion raised a brow at you in question.

You sighed. "Tomorrow. Cazador."

The vampire's gaze flicked to the fire then back to meet yours and he shot you a sure grin that you had learned to see right through a long time ago. "Of course I am. I've only been waiting 200 years for this."

You didn't have the heart to tell him off for the mask he slipped on. Normally you'd tell him that he didn't need to hide his true feelings from you, that you understood him and would never exploit his trust. And with time, he really had learned to trust you. You got to see a side of him he rarely ever showed and you were grateful. It made your heart beat for him in a way you had never experienced before.

But tonight, the tension and uncertainty in the air with how tomorrow would go down, you granted him this.

"I know you've been ready forever but, just know that if it gets too much at any point, I've got your back. We all do," you reassured him. "Just say the word."

Astarion gave you a rare, soft smile in appreciation and leaned over to drape his arm over your shoulders.

"I don't know what tomorrow will bring," Astarion said, his voice serious. "I don't even know if it will happen how I've forever dreamed it would. Pissing on his ashes, enjoying his screams as I tear each digit and limb from his body." Astarion sighed. "Maybe I'll die before I even get to lay a finger on him."

Your heart dropped. "Perish the thought," you said sternly. You turned to face him fully and you rested your hands gently on his cheeks. "I will never let anyone hurt you. Especially not Cazador."

Astarion's lip curled into a slight smile at the way you spat his master's name. You seemed like you hated Cazador as much as Astarion did without ever meeting the man. Not that you needed to. Astarion had told you countless horror stories of his life under his master that made your blood boil and tears threaten to spill.

You stroked his cheek with your thumb. "I'm sorry he took so much from you, I feel awful for what he did to you over these 200 years. I can't even begin to imagine it. And I… I feel strange to say it but I'm glad I met you."

Astarion's brows shot up in surprise and you thought you had gone too far. Too intimate. You dropped your hands but he grabbed one and brought it to his lips, kissing it softly before letting out a sigh. "I'm glad I met you too, you're remarkable and I sometimes feel…" he trailed off. Now it was his turn to get flustered.

"What?" You coaxed.

"No, it's stupid," Astarion muttered as he looked at the ground. A very rare moment of insecurity.

You turned his face back to you and held his gaze, your eyes boring into his. "If you don't want to continue, that's alright."

"It's just…" He struggled. "I don't know. There's some moments, when we're talking like this or even in the middle of our romps, I feel as though I've lived this long because I was meant to meet you."

His words caused you to still and you felt your eyes water as he held your gaze, unsure of how you'd react to his candor.

"Oh, Astarion," you gasped as you leaned forward and wrapped him in a hug.

He held you in his arms and buried his face in your hair, inhaling your scent, committing it to memory. He didn't know what tomorrow held. He didn't know if he'd make it out alive. But he had you and that was enough for tonight.

~

You awoke in Astarion's tent the following morning, his arms wrapped around you tight and one of your hands in his hair. Before he had even properly risen you could feel the tension in his body. You can't imagine the stress he must have felt all night. Today was the culmination of 200 years of misery, pain and torture and you meant to end it.

You stroked your fingers through Astarion's hair and he stirred, his eyes opening and landing on you.

"Good morning, beautiful," he greeted, his voice deep from sleep. "What a sight to wake up to."

You smiled and stroked his soft hair, wishing you could just… lean forward and give him a soft, loving kiss.

When you moved to get up, Astarion held you firmly in place, his eyes never leaving yours. Words on his lips that he didn't know how to formulate. Instead, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours softly. Soft enough that you could escape if he had misread everything. But he hadn't. You leaned into the kiss and slid your hand down to cradle his head as you pulled back. He chased you and held you firmly in place as he deepened the kiss, his movements almost desperate as he rolled you over and landed on top of you.

"Astarion," you breathed.

This was happening. Intimacy. Outside of just having sex. Or maybe this was leading to that but this kiss just felt different.

"Gods, I love the way my name sounds coming from your lips," he whispered against your skin before ravishing your lips once again.

He slipped his tongue inside your mouth and you granted him entry. You were mere putty in his embrace and you moaned softly as he cradled your head in his hand, his movements gentle but with an undertone of urgency. Like this would be the last time he would get to kiss you. You could understand the sentiment and tangled your fingers in his soft hair, pulling him close and taking his bottom lip into your lips, causing him to let out a breathy moan.

You had to eventually pull away to catch your breath, your heaving chest, flushed cheeks and parted lips made quite the sight and Astarion wasn't ready to let you go just yet. He leaned down to claim your lips again.

"Astarion, are you awake yet?" Gale called from outside his tent.

Astarion let out an annoyed huff before looking down at you, hoping that his actions could speak where words failed him today. He gives you one last soft kiss. "We'll finish this later."

You could only nod back dumbly as he stood and offered you a hand. Astarion stepped out of his tent and shot Gale a glare, holding the flap open for you to leave.

"Ah," Gale said to you. "Sorry about that, didn't realise that you were also in there…"

You waved him off and moved to your tent where you dressed and readied yourself for today's stomach-churning quest.

~

Getting into and around the Szarr's palace was surprisingly easy. Astarion charmed the guards on the way in and you were met with little resistance when you entered.

"Being back here…" Astarion shivered. "Can we just get this over and done with as quickly as possible?"

You made eye contact with Gale and Shadowheart and nodded.

You searched the palace as quickly as possible while Astarion sadly explained his memories of the places you wandered. You wanted to stop and give him a hug at every discovery you made but you'd be here forever if you did. You painfully kept your hands to yourself until you found an ornate ring that looked rather important.

After some more exploring, you found an elevator that even Astarion didn't know existed. But as soon as you all stepped in and started descending, he became even more nervous. His body stiffened and his eyes became steely. You stepped closer to him and offered him your hand which he took with a hint of a smile.

You descended into one of the most ornate but cold hallways you'd ever seen. It was grandiose, but uncomfortable and with a sense of foreboding. You all knew Cazador was somewhere down here preparing for the unthinkable. None of you could say a word. No funny quips about the architecture or loot you found.

You slowly descended the stairs and stepped towards the doors in front of you. Astarion's grip on your hand tightened slightly and you rubbed your thumb against his skin, trying your best to soothe him. You didn't think anything could soothe him right now.

Your heart beat intensely in your chest and you felt like you could vomit. You can't imagine how Astarion is feeling right now, about to walk back into the clutches of his master, not knowing if he would prevail. No. He would prevail and you would help him.

Astarion glanced around and you opened the doors, holding your breath and peeking through. You didn't see Cazador, but you could hear murmurs. Voices. You cautiously stepped through and were met with two large cells either side of the hallway, all filled with dirty, ragged looking people.

Astarion dropped your hand and it flew to his mouth. His eyes widened as he looked at the people in the cells. He recognised these people. He knew these people. These were people he had killed years and years ago. Or so he thought. He approached a cell and looked in at the countless people he had brought to Cazador. People he thought his master would feed on and then discard. But no. There were hundreds of ragged spawn.

"I… I don't believe it." Astarion gasped. "I never knew… Cazador was doing this."

At hearing Astarion's voice, the spawn in the cells turned to look at you and it was clear that a few of them recognised him. But to your surprise you heard a soft call of your name. The voice was vaguely familiar and your heart dropped.

You turned to the source of the voice and found yourself face-to-face with a haggard, red-eyed Xavier.

"X-Xavier…?" You asked, shocked. You felt like you were about to faint. "What are you doing here?"

You stepped towards the cell and he mirrored you, gripping the bars with his dirty fingers.

"What are you doing here?" He asked. "They didn't get you too, did they?"

You glanced at Astarion and if it were even possible, he was paler than usual.

"No, I'm– We're here to help you," you replied softly. You let your hand slide up the bar and come to meet Xavier's hand. Tears welled in your eyes and your voice became strained. "How long have you been here?"

Xavier's face scrunched as he tried to remember. "Hmm. I think… That night I walked you home and we kissed. I was so happy and unaware of anything around me. On my way home one of Cazador's spawn took me. It's all I've been able to think about. It's one of the only things I remember."

Your head spun and you felt like you could throw up. "No," you gasped. "T-Two years… You've been here all this time?"

The tears you'd tried to hold back fell all at once as you looked up at the man you once loved. "All this time," you sobbed. "I'd hoped your father had forced you off to marry some noblewoman."

Xavier smiled and rubbed your whitening hands where they still held the bars. "No. But even so, I would have come back to you. Somehow."

You stood back up and wiped the tears from your face. "I'm going to get you out of there, you're going to be okay."

Xavier nodded and looked over your companions gratefully until he landed on Astarion. "No…"

You sensed Astarion stiffen behind you and you hoped the dots you were staring to connect weren't true. You prayed, you hoped, you begged silently. But Xavier's next words pierced through you like an icy lance.

"You brought me here…"

You turned and looked at Astarion and he couldn't meet yours nor Xavier's gaze. He stared down at the floor and nodded, his eyes hooded and unreadable. He knew what he'd done. He knew what he'd caused you to lose. The words you spoke last night could only extend so far and now that you knew it was Astarion who had caused Xavier's disappearance. How could you forgive him? He couldn't bear to look you in the eye.

Shadowheart stepped forward and put a hand on your shoulder. "Come on, let's go deal with that monster and free your friend, okay?"

You nodded, your body moving in slow-motion as you approached the large ornate doors that held Astarion's fate on the other side.

~

It was a hard battle, made harder when you had to dodge through Cazador's minions to free Astarion from the binds of the ritual. The whole time you fought, you thought of the pain Xavier had gone through, the agony and torture Astarion had gone through and quickly enough, the pale elf had his master on his knees.

Astarion was right on the edge of having it all. Being an ascended vampire. He could walk in the sun after the tadpole had been dealt with, he wouldn't have to fear anyone again. He'd be a greater vampire than Cazador ever was. He asked for your help. But you know such great power never came free. There was always a cost.

What toll would sacrificing thousands of souls take on Astarion? Sweet, tortured Astarion who had been through hell and back and had made leaps and bounds to start becoming a better man. Someone you had grown to love. You couldn't bear to see him ripped apart like this.

But then again. You could help to give him this awesome power so few could ever be granted. You did want this for him, really, but your thoughts wandered back to Xavier and the countless other spawn who were waiting to be freed. Who you'd promised this to.

You looked back up at Astarion and shook your head. You imagined the life he could have. "Please don't do this, Astarion. Don't you want to live a life you can be proud of? I know you're better than him."

At your words, the fog in Astarion's mind cleared and he looked down at Cazador, blade in his hand. "You're right. I can be better than him." Astarion's gaze flicked down to a pleading Cazador. "But I'm not above enjoying this."

Before you knew what was happening, Astarion stabbed Cazador, hacking at him over and over until the former master was nothing but a lifeless, bloody corpse. You felt a fraction of the gratification Astarion must have felt as Cazador's screams filled the chamber before slowing into a gurgle and finally stopping. The pale elf dropped the blade and stepped back, a pained cry ripping through his throat. He'd done it. He was free.

He was free.

At this astronomical realisation, Astarion dropped to his knees and cried. He cried for the man he was when his heart still beat, cried for the centuries of torture he'd endured and cried for the life he'd had stolen from him. The culmination of 200 years of torture beyond belief and the aggressor was finally dead.

Astarion cried out again and you stepped toward him and knelt beside him. He suddenly felt warmth as you enveloped him in a hug and he held onto you, turning to face you and sobbing into your neck.

"My sweet Astarion," you whispered. "It's over now. I'm so proud of you."

At this, he sobbed harder for a moment and you ran your fingers through his hair and rubbed comforting circles into his scarred back. You didn't rush him, Gale and Shadowheart said nothing and let him take all the time he needed. After another moment, Astarion leaned back and caressed your face, his own face streaked with tears, blood and dirt. You saw how teary he was and the mixture of disbelief and hope for his future and your heart squeezed.

His brothers and sisters were freed from their magical shackles and one of his sisters approached, asking if it really was finally over.

"Yes."

Astarion then explained to his brothers and sisters what to do, where to take the freed spawn and wished them good luck. As they left, he stood and took Cazador's staff in hand, the following movements came to Astarion instinctively as he pressed it to the ground to free the thousands of trapped vampire spawn.

You smiled as you watched him. You truly were proud of Astarion, he would still be self-preserving and perhaps paranoid after you left but you hoped as time went by, he would be able to relax. Truly enjoy his freedom. You heard voices from the other side of the doors as Astarion's brothers and sisters greeted the other spawn. Your mind wandered to Xavier. At least he would have a chance at a new life, whatever that life may be.

"I think we're done here," Astarion said, tired. "Let's go."

You draped his arm over your shoulder and helped him up the stairs as Gale and Shadowheart led the way. They stopped at the top and shared a look before looking to you and stepping aside. The spawn had started filtering out but one remained near the cells. Xavier.

You approached him slowly, Astarion still hanging off your shoulders. Gale stepped forward and took Astarion off of you so you could have a moment. Astarion shot him a look but they lingered within earshot much to Gale's dismay.

"You did it. You freed us," Xavier smiled.

"Of course we did. I promised you that I would," you said. You swayed slightly on the spot and Xavier stepped forward, taking your hand in his.

"Will you come with me?" He breathed.

You almost weren't sure what he said but the way Astarion bristled and lowly hissed, you figured you'd heard correctly. Your blood ran cold and you were thrown back to 2 years ago, Xavier's kiss and the smile he gave before he left, promising to see you soon.

"Look, I," you didn't even know where to start. Your heart broke for him and the life you could have had together but you had closed that chapter long ago. You knew who your heart belonged to now, if the pale elf wanted it.

You tried to form into words your thoughts. How to explain that while Xavier's life was at a standstill, you continued living, loving and growing. Your heart ached as you tried to form the thought of, 'you know that vampire spawn who brought you here? Well I'm actually in love with him now, so…'

"Don't tell me it's him," Xavier gestured to Astarion who looked about ready to rip the former's head off. "He… he ruined my life, our lives."

You felt tears well in your eyes. You knew how hard this must be for him. He's thought of you nonstop for 2 years and you were about to tell him the man who ruined his life is the man you were choosing. But you knew Astarion. He wasn't that man anymore.

"Xavier, I can't go with you," you said. "I still have so much to do and… it is him." You sighed. This wasn't how you wanted to confess your love for the vampire spawn. You imagined it on a night you were alone and having a gentle moment. But here you were in front of your former love, your companions and the object of your affections all hanging onto your every word. "I know it's hard to come to terms with, Xavier… But it's always going to be Astarion."

You didn't see it but Astarion smiled and his face gained a bit of colour once again at your words. Xavier nodded and pursed his lips. He understood. He didn't like it, but he did understand and the finality in your voice told him that you weren't changing your mind.

"Well," Xavier said, lifting your hand and pressing a light kiss to the back of it. "If you ever do change your mind I'll be somewhere in the Underdark. I'll wait for you forever."

"Please don't do that," you whispered, your voice hoarse.

Xavier smiled and gently dropped your hand, turning to follow his coven of vampires to start a new life.

You sighed and watched as he left, years welling in your eyes. No one moved an inch until Gale and Astarion shuffled over to you and you felt a hand slip around your waist.

"Darling," Astarion breathed.

You could form no words and now it was your turn to cry in Astarion's arms. His skin was still caked in blood and sweat but you didn't care. He held you and stroked your hair as you sobbed into the crook of his neck.

"H-he was down here all along," you sniffed. "And I didn't know. I could have looked for him or… I don't know."

Realistically you knew you could never have done anything but you still felt like Xavier's fate was somehow your fault. Well, it wasn't your fault. Really it was Cazador's fault… Astarion's fault.

"Why him?" You asked, pulling back and looking up at Astarion with watery eyes.

He knew this was coming, honestly. You'd want to know why. How could Astarion pluck someone so innocent from the shadows who he knew was having such a wonderful night? You knew Astarion watched his victims, picked them carefully. He'd told you so himself. So, of course you'd want answers. And he knew that you knew it wasn't personal - he was doing what Cazador told him to. But it didn't hurt you any less.

"Let's get out of this dreadful place, clean ourselves up and we can talk," Astarion offered.

You nodded silently and stepped away from him, leading your small group out of the castle and to the tavern the rest of your group organised upon entering the city.

No one spoke another word the whole trek from the castle to the tavern. The rest of your companions swarmed you at the door but fell short when they saw your grief-stricken face, Astarion's unreadable expression and Shadowheart and Gale's awkward side-eyes.

You stepped past everyone, gathered some of your clothes and retreated into the bathroom wordlessly. Astarion watched you the whole time, wondering if this was it. Was this the straw that would break the camel's back? Would you send him away? He supposed now that he was free, he didn't really have anyone to fear anymore, he might be able to make it alone.

Alone. Not a feeling he was used to anymore. Not a feeling he wanted to experience, especially if it meant losing you.

In the bathroom, you were pleased to see that the bath was already filled with warm water, so you stripped your dirty clothes off and entered the bath. A sigh escaped from your lips and you let the water rush over your body, your thoughts stilling for a moment before you let out a choked sob once again.

You rested your head behind you on the tub and stared at the ceiling. What possible explanation could Astarion even give you? Xavier was one person in thousands that had fallen victim to Cazador's plot, Astarion included. But it didn't hurt any less.

The door to the bathroom opened slightly and you saw white curly locks poke through the gap. "May I come in?" Astarion asked.

"Sure," you said, your voice monotone. Flat. Not something he was used to hearing from you.

He stepped inside and shut the door behind him, standing in front of it. His movements were careful, unsure. He stood by the door with his hands clasped together as his eyes shot from the floor, to you, to his surroundings and back to the floor.

He took a deep breath. "I know there's nothing I can say to make this better. I can't take it back and I can't fix it."

You said nothing, waiting for him to piece his thoughts together.

"I've told you what it was like, being Cazador's slave. I did what I had to, to survive and that included bringing people to him that didn't deserve it," Astarion stepped towards you and knelt by the bathside, finally meeting your eyes.

You'd seen true sadness in people's eyes before and you had caught Astarion in moments of sadness previously. But this was different. He wasn't just sad, he was sorrowful, and fearful. You almost reached out to smooth out the wrinkles on his brow but he continued talking.

"I know he meant a great deal to you and I… ruined so much. I'll do anything to show you I'm sorry. And if that includes…" Astarion trailed off and gulped before continuing. "If that includes me leaving this camp, then I will. I'll leave and that will be that."

"No!" You cried, leaping onto your knees and wrapping your arms around him. "No, I don't want you to leave, ever."

Water splashed onto the floor and dripped all over Astarion but he didn't care. He wrapped his arms around your naked torso and held you close, squeezing slightly as if you might float away and disappear.

You craned your neck back and looked at him. "I am upset. And… It is sad to learn Xavier's fate, but I did mean what I said down in those dungeons," you whispered. "It's you. It's always been you and for as long as you want me, it's you I want."

You hardly knew what was happening before you felt Astarion press his lips to yours in a searing, passionate kiss. It took your breath away and he poured his love for you and fear of losing you into it, never had you ever been kissed like that and you couldn't help but return it. His lips captured yours and you felt his fangs nick your skin but you didn't care, you opened your mouth up to him and he didn't hesitate in slipping his tongue in, tilting your head back so he had complete control over you. It felt like if your bodies could meld together they would and your breathing turned heavy as you fought with not wanting to break the kiss but needing to pull away for air.

You eventually broke the kiss, your chest heaving as you gulped for air. You eyed the pale elf in front of you and looked like he was ready to pounce on you again. You let out a light chuckle and sat back in the bath again.

"Would you like to join me? I'll clean you up."

"My love," Astarion whispered as he stood, removing his clothes. "I'll join you anywhere."

[ednygmasbowlerhat]

I AM A QUEERPLATONIC BUDDIE TRUTHER AND HERE'S WHY YOU SHOULD BE TOO

first of all have you seen evan buckley? that man is the most aromantic bisexual human I have ever seen I will not be elaborating that is simply a fact. jkjk I could write a dissertation on this clearly the bisexuality is very much canon and we know he is sexually attracted to all genders but whenever he's in a romantic relationship he doesn't seem to like it. as an aromantic who has been in several relationships that i absolutely hated but didn't know how to express that or felt like i had to force myself to like it, maybe i'm just projecting, but i see that in buck. he dates so many people throughout the show but he never seems to want to be in those relationships. he moves them forward because of external pressures not his own feelings. even with tommy when he decided to ask him to move in for example he was doing that because that's what he thought he was supposed to do not because he was in love with tommy. i could say more but i digress.

let's talk about the most aromantic asexual firefighter the world has ever seen: edmundo diaz. this man doesn't like dating or sex or any of it. bro got married because he was supposed to and like i know there are people who say it's because he's gay and i'm pretty sure that's what the writers are going for. they're implying that he doesn't like women because he's gay and you can find a bajillion tumblr posts with all the evidence of the fact that he doesn't like women so i'm not going to present it all here. however, unlike buck, we never see him be attracted to men. we see so clearly that he doesn't like women but we never see him crushing on guys (unlike buck clearly thinking guys are hot even before he knew it btw we can see that for sure). for those of you who think he's just crushing on buck that's fine and i see that interpretation too i'm just saying i think he could also just love buck so deeply but not in a romantic or sexual way and to people who haven't experienced that (allos i'm talking to you) they might see it as romantic but it's different because i'm fully projecting onto him because he is me and i am him and that's just how it is broskis.

that was weird anyway buck and eddie are already in a committed partnership. buck is in eddie's will. buck literally broke off his lease to take subletting his apartment off of eddie's plate without even consulting eddie first because even though they were in a fight they have such a basis of trust that buck knows eddie wouldn't say no to him. they do everything together. they are attached at the hip. they facetime when they're apart even though they see each other every day. they're raising a son together.

i feel like if, instead of a romantic buddie confession, we had them talking about the nature of their relationship and recognizing that they were in some sort of non-romantic partnership and it was just explicit it would work so well in the story. it would also be amazing representation but that's besides the point because the point is that it's good for the story not that they should do it for any other factors. like i sort of picture that they have some heartfelt conversation about eddie leaving and then they're like "you know it's weird i don't like you in a romantic way but i feel like we're more than just friends" and it's just an acknowledgement of the fact that there are so many different types of relationships. i would literally die from joy.

[lozchi]

Taehoon Seong proposing to you(-ish) Headcanons~

A/N: I love him so much I have a whole Pinterest board of him and an album on my phone and he's set as my wallpaper and AND ANDDD DMSBFIANNDANDJ. Pairing: Taehoon Seong x GN!reader Themes: Fluff, fluff, I love fluff. Marriage, proposal, fluffffff Grgrgrghhh

-I have a feeling if he were to ever propose to you, instead of "Will you marry me?" He'll say "You will marry me."

-Like, bro already knows your answer anyway and wouldn't ask if he didn't think you'd agree.

-Pop the "question"? It's a demand.

-He'll be anything but romantic, but he means well. Do you really expect this nutjob to say a cheesy and heartfelt speech while clinging onto your hand while he kneels on the ground?

-If he did indeed pop the question, he'll still spare the sentiments or be completely awkward that he didn't say anything else afterwards.

-Then starts contemplating whether he should add more because you deserve better.

-But doesn't afterwards when he sees you're satisfied.

-Damn that look on your face tells him he's made the right decision.

-He'll just kiss you and do those touchy shit because physical touch is his love language anyway.

-He'll most definitely do it at the most unexpected times just to catch you off guard.

-Instead of going to romantic places or doing it on your anniversary, he'll do it when you're just chillin' or something.

-Either you just cuddling with him as he plays with your hair.

-Or playing Tekken, duh.

-Imagine him just opening the box and putting it near your face after you got mercilessly beaten up a round ago.

-If he wants to make it extra special, he'll probably propose in the dojo. XD

-Makes sure that Hansu isn't around though, otherwise it adds awkwardness.

-He will not propose when he thinks you don't want to.

-Discussed the idea of marriage at one point in your lives just so both of you would be comfortable.

-Married or not, he'll be fine with either.

-As long as you're with him in the end, that's all that matters.

[jessi4fanfics]

~Our New King~ (A Short Broppy Story)❤

I think you know what it's about already 😉

Branch stood at the base of the mushroom and laced back and forth.

He was worried. No, he was way more than worried. He couldn't think of a word to completely describe his insane emotions at the moment.

Branch was in a long leaf cape, a blue tux, and black pants. But his costume wasn't completed. Not yet.

Was he ready to complete his costume? This was an honest question. Did he want to go on with this decision. He didn't have to.

It wasn't that Branch didn't want to. He just didn't think it was something he would excel at. Heck, instead of being a help to Poppy, he might be a burden.

Was he ready to possibly become one of he didn't do this right?

"Ah, there's the future king!" A chuckle came from behind him, and he turned.

It was his brothers and Queen Barb of the Rock Trolls.

"It's about time you both got married, by gosh!" Barb scoffed. "And it'll be actually official after this coronation." 

"It's already official, Barb," Branch shrugged. "I just-- need to accept the extra duties that come with marrying the love of my life, that's all."

 Floyd smiled. "You make it sound like you want it to sound easy."

 Branch gave a nervous laugh.

 "Well, I've been waiting for you guys to tie the knot for years!!" Barb groaned.

 "I'm sorry we didn't go with your exact schedule, Barb," Branch replied sarcastically.

"I appreciate the apology," Barb smiled.

"Hey. You doing alright?" John Dory asked, nudging his baby bro.

"Yeah." Branch took a deep breath. "I think so."

"You are never gonna regret this decision, Bitty B," Bruce told him. "I know it."

Clay chuckled. "I'm just glad you're becoming king instead of me--"

 "Shut up!" The other brothers shouted at him.

Clay smirked and shrugged, and Branch rolled his eyes.

He knew he wouldn't regret the marriage part, but what about the crown part of it.

 "Where's my husband?!!" a sweet voice sang.

 Branch gave a sigh of relief as his new wife appeared and rushed to hug him.

 "Oh, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" Branch breathed, smiling at her.

 "You look amazing, Branch!" Poppy giggled giddily. "But I have an accessory that will definitely improve those amazing looks of yours."

She pulled out a case and took a green crown with some brown leaves stuck to a green base at the bottom as well, and showed it to him.

 "What do you think? I wanted it to match your style a bit..." She seemed unsure.

 Branch smiled. "I love it. Thanks, Poppy."

She smiled happily again. Then she frowned. "You're stressed. Oh, Branch..."

 Branch waved it off. "I'm about to become king. Of course I have stress. Not that big of a deal."

 She watched him carefully. "Branch, honey, you don't have to do this. I can call of the coronation with one word, I promise. You don't need to become king to marry me if you don't want to."

 "But I-" he groaned, confused. He leaned towards her and said, "I want to. I'm just....nervous. I might mess it up. I don't want to disappoint you and the village. "

Poppy smiled again. "Branch... You are everything I could ever want in a husband. And everything the village could want a king. You love us all and take such good care of us. You are brave, sweet, and wonderful, and I love you. So so much." She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed. "You will make an amazing king."

 "You're sure?"

 "I'm sure. You don't have to-"

His brothers grinned at him as Branch shook his head.

 "No. No, I am going to do it. I trust your judgement." He pecked her cheek.

 "Good."  She beamed. "Because the ceremony starts now."

 Branch didn't know how he got up to the platform. He didn't know how long he stood there, listening to his wife's speech, and other people's as well.

All he knew was that all at once, Poppy grabbed his right hand and reached up with one hand and placed the crown on his head gently.

She kissed his nose and smiled sweetly at him, her whole face exploding with pride.

Branch grinned back. It was happening.

She lifted up his left hand now and he faced the crowd. In a loud voice she announced, "Branch, Our New King!"

 The cheers and hollers of happiness, especially from their families, could be heard from miles away. But Branch leaned in to kiss his wife, his Queen, and Poppy happily accepted.

The king of her country, but also the king of her heart.

This was what she had waited for and wanted ever since he said those words, "I love you, Queen Poppy."

 Branch himself had told her in general that wishing for stuff was useless.

Yet, here they were.

It was a short one, sorry! Wanted to go to bed, hahaha! Love y'all!❤

[saltydogsmut]

Some People are going back to the comphet lesbian/Ace post as if Ashley engaging in sexual behaviour bc she thinks its the only keeping andrew from killing/leaving her, explicitly raping andrew and saying she didn't enjoy it anyway, and having the most dysfunctional married life where she always feels pain during sex (except one night when drunk) and Andrew doesn't care enough to do better....

Automatically makes her a heterosexual.

...

Like... how do you miss a point that badly. SHE'S NOT ENJOYING HERSELF?! Not that enjoyment necessarily means much for sexual attraction but oh my god.

Like, I just blocked immediately bc they don't know anything about the topic or just don't think women have internal lives outside of their actions but jesus christ. Neither is something i want to deal with.

Like, she's preforming heterosexuality, what the fuck did you think the Het was in comphet?

I'm willing to have Burial prove me wrong but y'know what? Im not sure it will. That's not what the game is about to begin with, but obviously the siblings are too emeshed in each other for us to ever see Ashley explore her sexuality. Even as a preteen she hated that her peers were boy obsessed but didn't have the vocabulary to express why forcing herself on a date felt wrong, untrue to herself. And sure, "loves andrew", but in the box ending its not like she's fucking him is it.

I didn't automatically take the scratches as something good the first time around in the burial vision scene and what do you know, it looks like it might not be. Wow.

--

Metaphor for those who need it under the cut.

To make things simple for other people: if you see me eating sushi you may think I like sushi. Instead it might be a friend's birthday and even though im not hungry or like it very much I'll tolerate it bc i love my friend and they like it. Or it might just be the closest food joint to my place of work so i just hork some down because im hungry.

Maybe I don't care what type of food im having. and maybe that's because i was never in a position to have food preferences to begin with and I'll develop them later. or maybe its because i always ignore the burning churn of my stomach and drooling as something that happens to everyone when they come across a perfectly seared steak. That everyone thinks seared steak is the most delicious looking food in the world and naturally pulls this result out of everyone. It's just not advertised to me and even if it was It's just so i know what my boyfriend would like.

Like, you have ppl in their 30's, with years of having enjoyable sex with men, finding out they're lesbians. Bc they've treated emotional intensity as a replacement for attraction and had good enough sex to not question the things they were told. Like that it's shallow for a woman to care about appearances, that all women generally find men gross, that women are the "fairer" sex. That women are naturally more reluctant and fridgid when it comes to sex. Etc etc.

But no. You had sex. With a man! You could never be not straight!

(For guys, that every guy doesn't really care what a woman looks like, guys will do anything. That every man desires an intense relationship with his bros that he never will with a woman. A bromance. That you get into a relationship just for sex and its only if she gets pregnant that you have to put a ring on it. No man wants marriage, its a ball and chain. If you don't want sex then its just because she's not hot enough. A woman should be okay with crumbs of intimacy and you shouldn't feel bad bc women don't expect emotions from a man and only want to own you, are only using you, and anyway they have lesser internal worlds and could never match up to a guy. Don't test any of these theories though, while they're super true and uncontestable they are mean to say. *fingers crossed* don't find emotinally resonant gay porn don't find beautiful gay porn...)

Like, i know tumblr is gay, but just bc they're having the wost sex known to all mankind, and not even trying to improve it, doesn't make them straight. Be nice.

[sehodreams]

ofc character toxification is fine! 💣

TW and Tags: toxic!conservative!riize, sexist behaviors and thoughts, don't know what else to put.

Thank you, this was interesting hahaha, it kind of became in a list of sexist ideas and behaviors, but still hope you like it.

From this question:

Most

Eunseok

Wonbin

Sungchan

Seunghan

Shotaro

Sohee

Anton

Least

Eunseok is definitely the kind of guy who wants his girl to be 24/7 for him, you have to be his good little doll waiting at home all the time, you have to look pretty, nod to everything he says and be dumb all the time, smart girls talk too much and he doesn't like that at all. Don't even think about working outside either, your place is right there cleaning his house and in the kitchen cooking for him. It wouldn't be a surprise that he's one of the guys who would actually talk to people about how they have to keep their girls in check, making sure they're not acting like little sluts out there and do their only job in this world, stay at home satisfying their needs, and he'd even preach about it in front of your face, you nodding after he brainwashed you.

Wonbin is such an asshole with all the female population, he thinks they all have to meet society beauty standards to deserve his attention and respect as human beings, and wouldn't say much in front of them, but behind their backs he'd talk about how disgusting they look if they don't shave, wore makeup or kept a neat look. Also, I don't know why, but if you were his wife he wouldn't care that you're in an important point of your career (he doesn't mind you working), if he wants you to stop and have his children, you will.

Sungchan feels like the bro that wants children from you yes or yes, he'd practically see you as his own incubator instead of his wife, and would also always talk about it, how many BOYS he wants to play with, and how a little girl would be perfect to complete the team (but just one, not more), he wants children so much that would forget that you're a person with feelings and that you should be the one deciding how many you want too. On top of that, he'd really complain about how low the birth rate is, saying how sad is that women have lost the desire of fulfilling their role in the world as mothers.

Seunghan is the kind of guy who wants his girl pure, and that means, virgin. Just the idea of you opening your legs for someone that's not him makes his blood boil, like, where's your respect to yourself? Oh, and don't even dare to tell him that he has to be a virgin too, he'd firmly affirm that it's not the same, even trash talking about divorced women because they're already "used". He'd also convince you, to not say gaslight you, into thinking men can't only be with one woman since it's in their nature to cheat.

Shotaro has this artsy vibe, he's a dancer, he's grown up in this free of judgment space, I just don't think he'd ever judge a woman about her career goals and her choices about family, unless she's his girlfriend. He'd pressure to look pretty and skinny, making you lose weight with sutil but hurtful comments like "uhmm, are you sure about dessert?", making you always judge how you look and compare yourself with the girls he works with. Also, like I said, he wouldn't mind if you worked, however, he'd totally hate that you didn't take care enough of the house if you worked too much, he doesn't care that the two of you have exhausting jobs, when he arrives he wants his dinner hot and his bath ready.

Sohee wouldn't have any problem with you working and not having children, but he'd support the idea of women taking care of the household, he'd wash the dishes and leave everything else to you (from buying the ingredients, cooking, to serving the meal), and he'd affirm to everyone that he's always helping around the house. It's not that he doesn't how to survive on his own, but if you were his wife, he'd just leave most of the work to you, and would probably choose to marry you with that in mind too (the idea of having practically a servant). Also, he'd hate if you earned more money than him, probably making you quit or convincing you to have an "easier" job that paid you less just to not feel his position as the house head in danger.

I don't feel nothing from Anton, he'd love a bad bitch with thick makeup, a different style, that felt passion for her career and never cooked. He's still dumb with household chores, he wouldn't be able to survive on his own, but he'd never pressure you into doing everything on your own, and he do wants children, but if you don't then there's no pressure neither, your body your choice.