#but boy am I not really looking forward to going back to the car crash of a country that America currently is

[labec99]

Went to check in my suitcase on Iberia airlines for a flight from London to Madrid, and they offered to check my second bag (that I was planning to carry on so I didn’t to pay for it) for free so “it would free up your hands.” 😍

Airlines in America could never.

I’m 4 weeks into a 7 week trip out of the states and have been on 2 continents so far and man the rest of the world makes travel so much more enjoyable (delay that fucked up my connection yesterday notwithstanding).

[7s3ven]

DRIVING LESSONS. luke (pjo)

Normal! Au

( master list )

IN WHICH… Luke attempts to teach Percy how to drive and, in the process, almost crashes into Luke’s long time crush. But maybe he can spin it in his favor.

—

Luke was like an older brother to many. He had warm and comforting aura that people seemed to gravitate towards.

“Don’t get hurt, seaweed brain.” Annabeth warned Percy, pointing a stern finger at him. Luke chuckled as he leaned against the hood of his shiny car. Percy needed driving lessons and Luke was more than happy to help. Though, he knew he was going to regret it. Annabeth and Sally were both too terrified to teach Percy but Luke was up for the challenge.

“Turn on your blinker, Percy.” Luke reminded the teenage boy for the fifth time.

“My what?” Percy only stared at Luke in utter confusion.

“Your turn signal. And keep your eyes in the road!” Luke exclaimed as another car whizzed past, narrowly avoiding crashing into them. Percy immediately glued his eyes back to the view in front of him, sheepishly smiling.

"Sorry." He whispered.

“Turn slowly here.” Luke instructed, nodding when Percy finally remembered to press his blinker. Percy turned painfully slow, matching the speed of a sloth, and Luke held back an annoyed groan.

“So, when did you start driving?” Percy asked. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Luke shrug.

“I’m not sure. Around your age or a little older.” Luke was in his twenties now, already having secured a well-paying job which helped pay for half of Annabeth’s tuitions. The other half was paid by a scholarship she earned.

“Have you met any cute girls?”

Luke lightly snorted, grinning in amusement. “Why are you asking me that, Percy? You know I can see how you look at Annabeth. I should be asking you how it’s going with her.”

Percy and Annabeth had always been stuck between friends and lovers and it was driving Luke insane. He wanted to shove the two of them together and demand they admit their feelings.

“Okay, but have you met any cute girls?” Percy was persistent, which suited his given name. Luke scoffed, tilting his head back. He had but he didn’t want to admit it to Percy. How was he supposed to tell Percy that he was still in love with the same girl from high school?

He thought he was over his feelings but he saw her in a coffee shop one day and everything came flooding back. Their playful flirting, their late night rants as they lay in each other’s arms while listening to Luke’s playlist, and that kiss they shared in their last year. Annabeth was already calling Luke a loser for liking her again, he didn’t need Percy doing the same.

“I guess.” Luke finally answered. “I’m not really attached to any of them, though.” Because his mind was always on Y/N, his high school sweetheart.

“Are you gay?” Percy asked out of the blue, causing Luke to choke in surprise.

“Am I- No! I’m not gay, Percy! I like girls but I wouldn’t date any of the girls I meet!”

“Is it because you’re still obsessed with her?”

Luke knew who he was talking about. He clicked his tongue, giving Percy the indirect answer that he needed. Percy wasn’t so clueless after all.

In all Luke’s years of babysitting Annabeth and Percy, he had only brought one girl over, who happened to be Y/N. They were working on a school project but Annabeth still liked to tease him about the way he gazed at Y/N.

Percy made the mistake of tearing his eyes away from the road again. “Percy!” Luke shouted as soon as he spotted someone walking across the pedestrian crossing, “Eyes on the road!” Percy, in a panic, slammed his foot against the break. The car screeched to an abrupt halt and both boys were sent flying forward. If it weren't for their seat belts, they would've crashed through the windshield.

There was a soft knock on Luke’s window and he turned his head, mortified to see the very girl he was just thinking about. The brunette slowly rolled the window down, thickly gulping.

“Hey.” Y/N greeted him, resting her arms on the sill, “You know, people usually stop at the crossing. They don’t almost run someone over.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. It’s his first time and he’s still pretty nervous.” Luke jabbed a thumb in Percy’s direction. The blond boy was sweating, gripping the steering wheel tightly. He sent Y/N an apologetic smile.

“Oh, Percy. I haven’t seen you in a while.” Y/N grinned at him, “You’ve grown up so fast. Last time I saw you, you were smashing into walls.” Percy’s cheeks heated up at the memory. “Glad to see you still have that habit. Though, instead of walls now, it seems you like to crash into people. You weren't thinking of committing a hit and run, right?"

“How have you been, Y/N?” Luke changed the subject to spare Percy from the embarrassment of Y/N’s teasing remarks. “You disappeared after high school. And the last time I saw you was in a cafe. I barely had time to ask.”

“I went to university in Europe.”

“And you got your law degree, I assume?”

“Conjoint, actually. I majored in law with a minor in psychology.”

Luke whistled, impressed. He barely passed university. “So, what are you doing now?”

“Well, I was taking a calming walk before I almost got killed.” She chuckled, an amused glimmer flashing in her eyes. Percy sank deeper into Luke’s leather car seat. “If you need help with teaching Percy to drive, I’d be happy to help. You look like you need it.” She fished out a card from her purse, handing it over to Luke. “I changed my number, by the way. That’s my personal one. Feel free to contact me, Luke.”

She bid the pair farewell and once she was out of earshot, Percy and Luke turned to face each other.

“Oh my gosh, she gave you her number!”

“Bro, I got her number!”

It was safe to say that Luke spent the rest of the terrifying car ride feeling elated despite being tossed around in the vehicle with Percy and almost throwing up once or twice.

Luke was dreading the next day with Percy because the young boy was not a good driver. At all. Not only had Percy narrowly avoided crashing into a pole and took off one of Luke’s mirrors in the process, but they also got chased by the cops for going over the speeding limit. Twice. And he couldn't forget how they almost killed Y/N.

Luke was thinking of ditching Percy but he was technically Annabeth’s boyfriend, even if she didn’t want to admit it.

His phone buzzed and his eyes darted to the screen for a split second. He looked back at the road, quickly stomping his foot onto the break. His heart sank for the second time this week. This was not how he wanted to meet Y/N again.

Y/N was teasingly grinning as she made her way over to his window. She knocked on it, bending down to match his height. “Hey, Luke.” She uttered, clicking her tongue. She playfully pursed her lips as she watched Luke sigh, his head resting against the wheel. “You and Percy seem to have one thing in common. Almost crashing into me.”

Luke’s cheeks flushed bright pink. “I didn’t mean to… I swear.” He uttered.

“It’s fine, Luke. As long as you don’t actually hit me. Because if you do, I will run you over too.” Y/N smiled, acting as if she didn’t just whisper a threat in Luke’s ear.

“I’m actually going to pick up Percy right now. Do you want to, uh, join me? I might throw up less with you around. Partly in fear of embarrassing myself.” Luke chuckled to himself while Y/N huffed in amusement.

“As long as I don’t land in hospital, I’m up for it.”

“No promises.”

Y/N climbed into the passenger seat, shutting the door behind her. She tilted her head to the side as she picked up a Lancôme lipstick. “I never took you as lipstick person, Luke.” She joked, holding up the tube.

“It’s Clarisse’s.” He said. Despite their differences, the two were quite close in high school. And they still were.

“You two dating already? Everybody shipped you two.” Y/N chuckled, turning her head to look at Luke.

“We’re just friends.” Luke said.

“Oh, come on. You must like a girl. Who’s the lucky one, huh?”

You, Luke almost said.

“I’m not interested in any girls right now.” He said instead. Y/N quirked an eyebrow.

“Are you gay? Wait, I kissed you while you were gay?!” Y/N gasped while Luke wildly shook his head.

“Why does everyone think I’m gay?!” He exclaimed.

"You've never dated anyone, Luke. It makes people think things." Y/N chuckled as leaned back in her seat. "I remember when everybody thought you and Chris were an item. Your fangirls were devastated. It was hilarious."

"What about you?" Luke asked, "How did... you feel?" Y/N faltered. She slowly turned her head to look at Luke before shyly diverting her gaze.

"I was more preoccupied with laughing over the sad girls with my friends." She uttered, "But I had a feeling you weren't gay. Your fashion sense back then was a dead give away that you were straight."

Luke clicked his tongue, "Was that meant to be an insult or a compliment?"

Y/N silently shrugged, flashing him a small grin. "A bit of both, I think."

Silence eventually settled between the pair. The car engine quietly hummed and Y/N glanced out the window as the radio played a soft melody. She thickly gulped as Luke pulled into Percy's driveway, a little disappointed they'd no longer be alone.

"Y/N." Luke quickly turned to her as soon as he pulled the keys out of his car. She met his gaze, confused as she gestured for him to continue. She watched as Luke took a deep breath. "Do you remember when I asked you if you had a partner for prom?"

"Of course. I went with Jake."

"I know that. But do you remember when you told me about Jake and I looked a little sad?" Luke was usually straight-forward with his sentences but he couldn't find the right words in this moment. Y/N slightly tilted her head.

"Yeah... you looked crushed." She said in a joking tone, causing Luke to gently chuckle.

"I looked sad because... I wanted to ask you out. Because I liked you. And I didn't ask anyone else out or accept any other offers because you were the only person I wanted to go with. And when you kissed me in our senior year, I couldn't feel happier, even if it was only because you wanted to feel a teen romance. And when you left... I didn't leave my room for ages. Annabeth had to drag me out. I was scared that you would find another person and I didn't want you to leave me behind."

Y/N gazed at him in silence. Luke cleared his throat, nodding his face. "I shouldn't have said anything... sorry. All those things were ancient history. I don't even know why I brought it up."

"What about you?" Y/N breathed, "Is there anyone else in your life?"

Luke pressed his lips into a thin line. "No... To be honest, I still haven't moved on from you." He turned his head to face Y/N, taken aback when she pressed her lips against his.

"I didn't find anyone else, Luke. I wanted to come back from university and run into your arms again, like old times." Y/N uttered as she pulled away. Luke cracked an ecstatic grin, pulling her back.

"Are you guys seriously making out in front of my house?"

Y/N and Luke jumped apart at the sound of Percy's voice. The younger boy was staring at them through the tinted window, face wrinkled up in disgust.

"I'll, um, get in the backseat." Y/N said, smiling before she switched seats, allowing Luke to sit beside Percy. The brunette gave the boy a subtle glare.

"Can I turn on some music?" Percy asked as he drove down an empty road. Luke had switched off the radio to allow the blond to concentrate.

"Only for a little while. Keep your eyes on the road so you don't almost kill anybody else." Luke snapped. From the backseat, Y/N lightly laughed.

Percy pushed a button and with a quiet click, Olivia Rodrigo started playing. "Really, Luke? Your sad playlist?"

"It's the only other tape in my car."

"I got my driver's license last week"- Percy sang along but he was cut off by Luke's stern tone.

"Percy, you won't be getting your license for ages if you don't focus on the road." The brunette warned. Percy frowned, going silent for a few moments before he parted his lips again.

"He used to listen to this playlist in his car while it rained. He was probably thinking about you." Percy said to Y/N, looking at her through the mirror, "I think he even cried at some point. Annabeth and I saw him one night, just sitting in the car and banging his head against the wheel."

"Percy!" Luke hissed, trying to shush the boy. But the damage was already done as Y/N diverted her eyes to look at Luke.

"Really?" There was an amused edge to her voice.

"Stop the car." Luke demanded, glowering at Percy. The young blond nonchalantly pulled over and stopped the engine. "You're dead, Percy. I'm going to tell Annabeth how you still drool in your sleep." Luke pulled out his phone, causing Percy to panic.

"I told her I stopped!" Percy reached for Luke's device but the brunette quickly stepped out of the car. He held the phone up high, away from Percy's grasp. Y/N watched as Percy chased after Luke, desperate to hide his drooling problem from Annabeth.

Luke turned his head to scowl at Percy. "It's your payback for telling Y/N that!"

idea from @emiliehornby !!

PJO TAG LIST : @lostinhisworld @julielightwood @outerbanks-stuff @jennapancake @csifandom @evrybodydies1 @kkrenae @s0ulsniper @annispamz @justanotherkpopstanlol @soraya-09 @simpforeveyone @papichulo120627 @corpsebridenightamare @lilacspider @prettylilsimp @urmomsbananabread @ur-lacol-dsylexic @hottiewifeyyyy @kamiliora @be-bap @finnickodaddy @th0tblckgrl @shoyofroyoyoyo @uniquely-her @imafrkinsimp @syraxesrevenge @ahh-chickens @dracoslovergirl @midnightstar-90 @8812-342 @liv1104 @krkiiz @arialikestea @ch16rles @lizziesliz @maryclx01 @lukecastellandefender @yuminako @coryoskywalker @julielightwood @crybabysbakery @jsbabyyy @liviessun @p3pperm1nttea @angie-esc @purplerose291 @prettylilsimp @10ava01 @froggiesstalks @happy-jj @czennieszn @gisellesprettylies @loveyava @csifandom @luvvfromme @mashiromochi @kamiliora @yorksyree @mqg125 @jamesmackreideswife @niktwazny303 @2hiigh2cry @user021099 @living-in-my-imagination88 @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @randomgurl2326 @niktwazny303

[godhandler]

“It’s just… it’s been 16 years since…” Yuuji finds it difficult to put it into words.. “... since he last saw Divine Dog White…” 

[when your kids inherit the Ten Shadows, Megumi Fushiguro gets to meet a long lost fluffy friend again]

[1.5k words   |   fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, post-canon   |   part of Obeisance to The Arrow universe]

“Hito, Kiko, don’t.” Noritoshi glares at the twins who have been caught red handed trying to ride atop the pair of dogs. In fact, it’s the 4th time they’ve been caught. They refuse to stop trying. “Just sit, okay? Just sit down for a bit. Let dad make his call.”

Noritoshi Kamo is tired. Truly, soulfully, tired. His day began at 5 am today, because you had to go to work earlier than usual, and are still not back yet. Handling 4 kids and their own separate timetables all day, while working as a teacher for Jujutsu High… at 34, he’s not old, but goddamn does his body ache like it is. And now, when he was looking forward to putting the kids to bed and waiting for you to come back and uncork this good vintage and maybe wear that nice lingerie you bought last week and be asleep by 10 pm, when tonight was supposed to go like all other nights, he’s got a huge fucking emergency on his hands. Not that he can show it, of course, in front of the kids. 

“C’mon, pick up, pick up. Asahito! I swear, if I see you– Tsukiko! Tsukiko, hands where I can see them! Good, okay, now sit down and count till 100.” Noritoshi is doing his level best to maintain any semblance of calmness. It isn’t working. Naomi and Chihiro, the older two kids, are terrified. Their usually monk-calm dad is frantically calling people, while his Flowing Red Scale is on, as are two discs of Slicing Exorcisms, ready to strike at the slightest provocation. Not at them, of course, but still. The twins, Hito and Kiko, are too young to realise the gravity of the situation. 

Click. Finally.

“Hey Noritoshi, it’s me, Yuuji. Megumi’s driving right now.”

“Yuuji!” Damn, Yuuji thinks, the man seems out of breath. “Give the phone to Megumi, quick.”

‘But he’s driving, we were playing basketball and now we’re coming ba–”

“Put it on speaker then! Yuuji, it’s urgent.”

“Huh? Wait.” Yuuji puts him on speakerphone and gasps. “Oh my God, is y/n pregnant again?”

“What?” 

“Damn, that’s your fifth one.” Yuuji chuckles. “You must really like being a dad.” 

“It’s not–”

“Five is a lot though –”

“MEGUMI!” Noritoshi shouts out. “Are you there?”

“Yeah” Megumi leans towards the phone that Yuuji is holding out. “Congrats, Noritoshi.”

“Oh, Megumi, thank God.” Noritoshi’s voice is palpably more stable. “y/n isn’t pregnant. The twins’ cursed technique showed up, about 5 minutes ago. Megumi, they have the Ten Shadows.”

Megumi almost crashes the car.

—------- 

“Noritoshi, love, I’m here!” You’ve run all the way from the parked car to your drawing room. It’s bursting with people: Noritoshi (battle-ready), Naomi and Chihiro (hiding behind their dad), Yuuji (fascinated), Megumi (teaching the twins to release the large black dog that’s running amok amid your fragile china-display and Edo era vases), and your little twins (actually listening to their uncle, surprisingly). 

“Mom!” “y/n!” “Honey!” 

Half an hour ago, you had been working on a new telecom venture when your assistant rushed in, claiming an urgent call from your husband: “Love, it’s the twins, Hito and Kiko- cursed technique- unstable control- dinner- Ten Shadows!” It takes a while for you to piece together the information, but when you do, you turn pale as death. 

The twins inherited the Ten Shadows? Together? They share one cursed technique? They share the fucking Ten Shadows?

—------- 

The black divine dog was sent back, thanks to Uncle Megumi Fushiguro. “The other one was already gone when we got here.” Megumi says, leaning back as everyone sits in peace around the low tea-table on the ground. Yuuji is playing cards with the boys, Tsukiko sits in Megumi’s lap, steadily stealing extra cookies from the table, and Naomi is quietly talking to her dad. “They summoned the Divine Dogs by accident, don’t punish them for it, okay?”

“I know.” Noritoshi sighs. “I didn’t even know two Ten Shadows users could exist at the same time.”

“It’s very rare.” Megumi replies. “But rare things are common nowadays.” Since the Culling Games. Since it all got messed up. 16 years ago. 

“It’s so dangerous for a 6 year old to have the power to accidentally summon Mahoraga. Megumi-chan, what did you do at that age?” You still haven’t kicked the habit of calling him Megumi-chan, even though he grumbles about it a lot, especially since the twins are starting to call him that too.

“Well, I had Gojo-sensei to show me the basics, and then I figured it out myself. But I was a very different 6 year old than Hito and Kiko.” He looks down at Tsukiko who’s trying to hide her growing bundle of cookie-loot. “Maybe it’d be safer if I stay with the kids for a bit…”

The kids are delighted to hear this, of course, Uncle Megumi who lets them get away with anything, and buys them whatever they want, he’s their favourite. (Uncle Yuuji is very hurt by this proclamation).

“Yeah, that’d be great, Megumi-chan. Thanks.” You yawn. 

“Say, Hito, Kiko!” Yuuji says. “You called both the dogs? Can you call them again?”

“Now, Itadori?” Noritoshi is still wary. When he first saw the dogs, he almost killed them on the spot, thinking that someone had sent them there to hurt his kids. It had taken a second for light to enter his head: Ah, these are my children’s shikigami. They inherited the Ten Shadows…. Oh my God- my kids inherited the Ten Shadows. “Take the yard outside then, not in here.”

Except for Megumi and the twins, who are working on calling the dogs in the middle of the yard, all of you stand in the veranda. Noritoshi’s Flowing Red Scale is on, ready, just in case.

“It’s just… it’s been 16 years since…” Yuuji finds it difficult to put it into words.. “... since he last saw Divine Dog White… back at the detention center....” 

The shadows under the twins have definitely started to hollow out choppily. Megumi shouts out words of encouragement, telling them to “steady, keep steady!”, while you can tell that Noritoshi is growing more agitated by the second. The volatile control over their shared cursed technique seems to shift between the twins randomly. The shadows underneath, like turbulent sea-water, split.

Megumi Fushiguro is no stranger to loss. It’s a fact of his life. He hardened his heart to this a long time ago, he's bid his good-byes properly in private. He’s done his due mourning when Divine Dog White died over a decade and a half ago. 

Why does his throat feel tighter? Hito and Kiko are making the huge dogs shake hands with a delighted Yuuji. Why does he remember the damp walls of that old apartment, where his dad left him and Tsumiki? Why does he remember Tsumiki’s laugh when the white dog, invisible to her, tripped her as she walked? Those snowy walks with Gojo-sensei, when he brought all three of them mochi, and an extra one for the dog? Those tired midnights in Jujutsu High when the dog curled around him in his sleep? Nobara and Yuuji, back in their teenage years, begging him to summon his precious dog? Nobara who still remains 16 in his memories. Gojo-sensei. Tsumiki. The White Dog. 

If anyone notices a tear stuck in Megumi’s lashes, they don’t mention it. They let him sit on the grass, keeping watch. The overprotective parents have loosened up, allowing Naomi and Chihiro to pet the dogs too. It’s nice, he thinks, everyone getting to enjoy a night like this. It doesn’t come by often. These small moments like playing with the dogs, eating meals together, hanging clothes to dry, taking walks in the setting sun, these are privileges they've earned with blood. Families, especially happy ones, are rare; Megumi’s proud that you and Noritoshi have managed to create one. As for him, he’s content sitting on grass and watching. 

“Megumi-chan, come play!” Tsukiko beckons him. “Shiro, go jump on him.”

“Shiro, no–” But these aren't Megumi’s shikigami, they don’t listen to a word he says. He’s immediately tackled on the soft ground by the weight of the white furball, who’s wagging his tail and licking him all over, as excited as the kids to be summoned. They even smell the same, Megumi remembers. Still, mine had softer fur. 

Naomi valiantly comes to his rescue. Noritoshi offers him some tea before bed. Him and Yuuji are staying the night, you’ve declared, and keeping watch over the twins. Despite all the loss he’s endured his whole nightmare of a life, at the end of the day, there’s still a family he’s part of. There’s still hope, there’s still love, there’s still soft white dogs. 

—------- 

The battle is over: all 4 kids have been put to bed. Yuuji whistles softly, complaining that Hito wheedled five stories and three lullabies out of him. That reminds him: “y/n, you know when Noritoshi called us, he seemed so stressed, I thought that you were pre-” but Noritoshi whacks him on the head before he gets to finish. Megumi isn’t done entertaining the twins yet. 

a/n: timeline wise, this work is set faaar in the future, when the Kamos have returned to and established themselves in Japan. Regardless of the merger, the amount of cursed energy cultivated from the Culling Games have GOT to have fucked up effects on the kids born afterwards, like the remains of nuclear bombs. Naomi is the oldest kid at 13, Chihiro is 10 and the twins are both 6. reader would be 30, noritoshi 34, yuuji 32, and megumi 31. if it was unclear, Asahito and Tsukiko are nicknamed Hito & Kiko

[elvisbdoll]

Blue moon…

50s!Elvis X Black!OC

Summary: In the 1950s, a forbidden love blossoms between Elvis Presley and a young Black woman, but racism and segregation force them apart. As Elvis is sent to Germany, promises of reunion fade amid growing fame, leaving her alone to face police brutality and heartbreak. Torn between love and reality, she’s left to wonder if their connection could ever survive a divided world.

TW: racism, (it was late 50s) angst, fluff, Elvis being Elvis, colonel, police violence. (pls let me know if you see more)

Blue moon

you saw me standing alone

Without a dream in my heart

Without a love of my own…

You felt your heart pounding in your chest, the adrenaline pumping in your veins, you looked at the note in your hands looking around to see if anyone had seen you. Slowly you got into the hidden place, your hidden place- special and secret. It was a little dark, but you could see a figure standing there. “Elvis?” you whispered and the figure immediately turned around,walking forward. It was him, a soft playing smile on his lips.

“Darlin’ I’ve been waiting for you…”

His voice was almost a whisper, getting closer to you, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“I had to run from my parents…they..”

You trailed off, your gaze lowering to the ground.

“Shh I know, I know…”

He soothed, pulling you closer and hugging you. It was like your bodies were made for eachother, fitting together perfectly. You held him for a minute, he was just humming softly, his arms wrapped around you. Only if the world knew… you wanted to be with him, not be separated by others. Not separated by laws and expectations. Elvis didn’t see any skin color, he just saw you. He saw the lovely, compassionate, funny girl that you are. You tried to silence those thoughts, feeling tears prick your eyes. You focused on the only thing that mattered and kept holding him.

You knew just what I was there for

You heard me saying a prayer for,

Someone I really could care for

—

“I don’t see the problem?” Elvis said looking into his manager's eyes, “I-I don’t see a skin color… she— she likes me from what I am…” he explained, pacing around the room, running his hands through his hair. His emotions stirring, his expression anguished. . Why couldn’t he just be with her? “My boy… you have broken the segregation laws, it is either the army… or jail.” Colonel Parker advised, and Gladys shook her head “There’s no way that my son it’s going to Germany for two years!”

Elvis slammed his fist onto the piano keys, a discordant crash ringing out in the leaving room. “I don’t care about the law, Colonel!” he snapped, his voice trembling with raw emotion. “She’s the one thing in my life that feels real. The music, the money—it’s nothin’ without her.”

Colonel Parker leaned back in his chair, his calculating gaze locking onto Elvis. “You think the world’s ready for you and her, boy? You’re America’s sweetheart. You get caught with her, you’ll be ruined. And worse, she’ll be in danger.”

—

Blue, blue

Without a love of my own….

Blue moon

The night was humid, the thick air clinging to your skin as you made your way home from the diner. The streets were quieter than usual, the glow of the streetlights barely illuminating the uneven sidewalk beneath your feet. You kept your head down, your bag clutched tightly to your chest.

Then you heard it—the low rumble of an engine behind you. You didn’t need to turn around to know it was a police car.

“Hey there, girl!” a voice called out, sharp and mocking. You stopped in your tracks, your breath hitching. Slowly, you turned to see two white officers stepping out of the car, their faces already twisted with disdain.

“Out pretty late, ain’t you?” one of them said, sauntering toward you. His partner leaned against the car, arms crossed, watching you like a hawk.

“J-just heading home,” you stammered, willing your voice not to shake.

The officer stepped closer, invading your space. “Home, huh? You sure you’re not sneakin’ off to meet someone? Maybe that fancy boy everyone’s been talkin’ about?”

Your heart sank. You knew exactly who he meant. The rumors had spread further than you’d realized. “I—I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said quickly, hoping your denial would satisfy them.

But it didn’t.

The officer grabbed your arm, his grip tight and bruising. “Don’t lie to me, girl,” he hissed. “We’ve seen you. Walkin’ around like you don’t know your place.”

“I didn’t do anything!” you cried, trying to pull away, but his hold only tightened.

“Didn’t do anything?” the other officer sneered, finally stepping forward. “You think we don’t know what happens when girls like you get ideas? Thinkin’ you can mix with folks you don’t belong with?”

You struggled harder, panic overtaking you. “Please, just let me go!”

The first officer laughed, a cruel sound that sent a chill down your spine. “You think you can just walk away from this? Nah, we’re gonna teach you a lesson.”

The next moments blurred together—shoving, shouting, and the sharp sting of pavement against your knees as they forced you down. Your cries echoed into the night, but no one came to help.

When they finally let you go, you were left bruised and shaken, your dress torn, your dignity shattered. They drove off with smug grins, leaving you crumpled on the side of the road.

You stumbled home, your legs trembling with each step. Once inside, you collapsed onto your bed, the tears coming in waves as the reality of what had happened sank in.

You heard the soft crackle of the record player as Blue Moon filled the room, Elvis’s voice wrapping around you like a bittersweet memory. A faint smile tugged at your lips, remembering all the times he had sung it just for you. But the warmth of the moment quickly gave way to a sharp ache in your chest. The smile faded, and a quiet sob escaped your lips.

You’d never be with him—not in this life, not in this world.

Blue moon…

Without a dream in my heart

Without a love of my own

Blue moon…

Without a love of my own

Blue moon…

Without a love of my own….

Hiiii! This is my first time writing fanfiction in tumblr, I know it’s a little short, but bare with me I struggled like 4 days to get this done 😭 I hope you guys like it and if you guys like it, I can do a part 2! (If you like to be in the tagged list, please fell free to comment! Love ya!

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[lynnbanks]

Jet lag and brunch

(Would like to add this before you read that y/n (ivy) has Pernicious anemia and you will probably more about it in later stories. I would also like to add I'm not completely sure what this is just wanted to get it out there if there are any mistakes let me know hope you enjoy)

Our first morning/afternoon back at the lake house and if we don't hurry we will be late to brunch with luke parents and jack

Luke is still pretty jet-lagged so he is struggling to get up. “ lukey it is time to get up,” I say while rubbing his bare back long forgotten where his shirt and pants were the second we got to our room at the lake house before crashing onto the bed taking me with him.

“Lay with me for a second please.” we don't have time but I indulge already having myself ready knowing he would likely brush his teeth put on anything he can find at the top of his unpacked suitcase with a hat and be out the door.

“ ok sleepy butt we have 20 minutes to be out the door so in five minutes you need to be up and getting ready” he dismissed me by pulling me into bed with him and onto his chest mumbling “You smell good baby” voice still deep and gravely from sleeping 10 hours straight “ hmm thank you” while I run my fingers through his unruly curls “you ready to eat” I ask in a whisper as to not disturb the calm air around us seeing as we haven’t had a lot of alone time in awhile with all the crazy schedules “mmh yes very ready” “ok then let’s get this show on the road.”

Jack meets us downstairs and we all loaded up into the car, Quinn won’t be in till next week and we will probably do a fancy dinner to celebrate all of us being together and all the boys have accomplished this year.

When we get to the restaurant we meet up with Jim and Ellen in the parking lot, before we go in give a hug to both me and Luke after not seeing us for a while, we walk in and the conversation starts flowing.

Luke has his hand running up and down my leg, with the occasional squeeze, we talk about what we want to eat and enjoy each other's company, our server comes and takes our order not without giving Jack a few long stares and some flirty giggles, while we wait for our food I scoot closer to Luke and lay my head on his shoulder while he wraps his arm around me and kisses my head

“ y/n when are you free next maybe we can go get our nails done for the start of summer” “ I am free Sunday I was also thinking of getting my hair cut and finding a new swimsuit along with the other things we will need for the house we could make a day of it” luke perks up “ you have infusions tomorrow baby you should probably take it slow; don't worry about the other stuff I've got the rest.”

Luke gave me a soft squeeze on the arm to let me know he was still there with me, and all I can think now as I look up at him and smile is I love him. The rest of lunch goes pretty well me and Ellen walk out arm and arm talking about the rest of the details for our “girls’ day”. Me and Ellen have always been very close so I am looking forward to it

when I get to my car Luke is holding the door open and before I get in he pulls me into his body and gives me a soft kiss on the lips his constant need to touch me has always been something I love about him my little luv bug; instead of pulling away fully I lay my head on his chest and look up at him “Hmm I love you” he smiled “ oh really well I am IN love with you so” I laugh “ stop being so competitive Warren”

Back at the house Luke and I decide a nap would be how we spend the rest of the afternoon, so we make our way to one of the larger hammocks we had put in last year for this exact reason.

As I lay with half of my body on top of Luke he plays with the fingers on the hand that isn't playing with his curls we talk about nothing and everything; conversation had always been so easy for us never seeming to get tired of what the other has to say.

“I have missed this with you,” Luke says softly almost like he is saying it to himself; still very tired from the time change and travel that comes with the job on top of all the physical parts of the game.

I just want to rap him up and keep him in my pocket “Well you are about to see a whole lot more of me so be prepared to get sick of me” I say with a slight chuckle “ I don't think I will ever get tired of you” he says with a smile in his voice “ glad to hear it warren”

[nyoomfruits]

Oh ! For the Fanfiction Trope MASH-UP, would you be willing to write about number 2 Royal AU, with number 98 curses for lestappen please 🙏

listen i was thinking about different curse ideas and then i suddenly remembered charles's monac curse and well... then i couldn't not write that. so!!!! driver!charles/prince!max au it is :)

prompt taken from this list, feel free to send me one!

royal au + curses

When you ask a driver what the best race to win is, they will give one of two answers; either their home Grand Prix, or Monaco. For Charles, these have always been one and the same.

And yet, he has never won.

A curse, they call it. Just dumb luck, Charles like to say.

But it still weighs on him, every year he DNF’s, every year he crashes into the barriers instead of crossing the finish line. At least he’s managed to do at least that, last year, in 2022. But this year, this year he’s determined.

He’s going to break the curse. He’s going to win.

He’s so laser focused, so all in, that he misses all the whispers around the paddock about important visitors until he slams head first into one of those visitors outside of the Ferrari motor home.

“I am so sorry,” says none other than Max Emilian, crown prince of the Netherlands.

“Oh,” Charles says, because well. He’s seen pictures of the man before, but it turns out they really don’t do him justice. Prince Max is gorgeous, with piercing blue eyes and broad shoulders and a very, very kissable mouth. “I mean, uh, I’m sorry. Your, uh, highness?”

Max laughs, the hand he used to steady Charles still on his shoulder, burning into Charles’s skin. “Please. Call me Max.”

“Right,” Charles says, nodding a little too enthusiastically. “Right, yeah Max. I can do that.”

Max sends him an amused look. “So, are you looking forward to the race?” He asks, and his hand slips off Charles’s shoulder. Charles immediately misses its warmth.

He pulls a face. “Sort of? I’ve not had the best luck in Monaco.”

“Ah, yes,” Max says, thoughtful look on his face. “The curse.” When Charles doesn’t say anything, just pulls a face, Max continues. “But you shouldn’t be worried. You’ve been driving well all season. Plus, you have pole. That’s already half the race.”

“You follow F1?” Charles asks, a little surprised. There something about Max, beyond the pretty eyes and the nice body, that is almost regal. Ethereal. It feels weird to picture him sitting on a couch in his sweatpants and a sweatshirt on Sunday’s, watching a race.

“Obsessed with it,” Max admits, almost a bit sheepish. “Begged my dad to let me drive kart when I was a kid. But apparently that wasn’t very appropriate, so,” He rubs the back of his neck, and gives Charles a ‘what can you do’ look. “Anyway, I like watching races a lot. The fast cars, the pretty boys,” He leans forward a little, and there’s suddenly an almost mischievous smile on his face, like he’s challenging Charles.

Charles blinks. Opens his mouth. Closes it. If he knew better, he’d say the crown prince of the Netherlands is currently flirting with him. But he knows better so that can’t be it. Right? Still. Can’t hurt to try. “Pretty boys, huh?” Charles says leaning back against the wall of the motorhome. “And do you have a favorite?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Max eyes are twinkling, and he’s leaning forward, his arm suddenly right next to Charles’s head, his face inching closer and closer.

Charles opens his mouth to say something, anything, but then suddenly there’s a pair of lips on his, hands on his waist gently pressing him into the wall, and he forgets how to breath for a second.

His hands shoot up to land on Max’s arm, his bicep, and for a moment he lets himself be kissed, loses himself in the moment. But then Max is pulling away, smiling softly at him.

“What was that for?” Charles asks, eyes wide and mouth kiss swollen.

Max shrugs. “Good luck charm, I guess.”

“Oh,” Charles says. Wants to say more. Wants to do it again. But then a harried Ferrari employee is rounding the corner and spots them, and starts yelling at Charles in rapid Italian about how he was supposed to be in the garage like ten minutes ago, and Max is being pulled in another direction by his security detail, and the moment is broken.

(It’s not until later, much later, when he’s on the top step of the podium, hoisting the trophy in the air, that he remembers.

The thing about curses, is that they can be broken. And the most common way, the best way, is true love’s first kiss.

Charles is feeling very excited about the Zandvoort Grand Prix, all of a sudden.)

[kaseylynnwriting]

First Meeting- Finn and Yvette

“I think you’re just being pa— FINN, stop!” I slammed on the breaks, sending us both lurching forward into the dashboard.

“What the hell was that for?” I demanded. Before she could answer, something hopped up on the hood. A slender orange and white cat peered at me through the windshield, it’s dark eyes narrowed. I felt a chill go down my spine and spread through my fingers.

She unbuckled and threw open her door.

“Stupid cat—”

Before it could make a move, Adalie had it by the scruff of its neck and brought it back into the car.

“You almost got hit. You got a death wish or what?!” She demanded, holding it out and scolding it as though it had any earthly idea what she was saying.

“Put it down before it scratches you.” I hissed. From the way that it’s fur’d started to fluff up along its tail, I knew that it wasn’t thrilled with being manhandled.

I won’t scratch her. I’ll just bite the end of her nose off.

The voice came from inside my head. I froze, my fingers tense against the steering wheel. With a shaky breath, I pulled up to the exit and started to watch for an opportunity to make a left turn. No way. There’s no way. I imagined it. It was just… my subconscious. Intrusive thoughts. Maybe I’ve been playing too many video games. I leaned forward to see past a line of bushes that blocked the view of the road. One car to the right, three left… Turning was always a bit of a risk, but most students learned how to time it correctly without causing a massive pile up. A few honks were commonplace, but there hadn’t been a wreck since the first day of school- and that was remarkable. I managed to turn and ignored the warning beep from the Jeep Wrangler I’d somewhat cut off.

“We can’t take it all of the way home with us,” I said. Adalie relinquished her hold on the cat, and it had bounded into the backseat.

I hate to break it to ya, but it looks like that’s exactly where I’m going. I watched, in the rearview, as it circled a few times, its claws digging into the faux leather with tiny popping sounds.

You aren’t speaking. I know that. It’s just my subconscious.

I’m glad you’re already sitting down, because I am most definitely the one speaking. Just stay calm. We don’t want you to crash or almost hit any other cats, do we?

“Hey, don’t forget about the Panera order…” Adalie said, motioning to the street ahead. I pulled over into the right turn lane and waited for the cars on the other side to finish crossing over.

This isn’t possible. I gotta be losing it. That’s the only explanation.

Maybe we should start with introductions, first. My name is Yvette and I am your guardian.

What, like guardian angel? I snorted. Adalie turned to look at me, her brow furrowed.

“Are you okay? You got randomly, weirdly quiet all of a sudden. Is it the cat? I don’t think its gonna attack you. We can let her out once we get home. I just don’t want it wandering around near such a busy road where she absolutely will get squashed.”

“Yvette.” I said reflexively. “Her name is Yvette.”

“You named her?”

“It just…feels like a good name.”

“You don’t know if its a girl, anyway. Aren’t most orange cats boys?”

“I just know that she’s a girl, Adalie. I can’t really explain it. I just know that’s what she wants her name to be.”

Her mouth curved into an amused little grin. Turning in the seat, she reached her hand out towards the back. Yvette huffed, her tail swishing back and force as she eyed her fingers with what I could only describe as complete and utter disdain. With a scowl, she pulled her hand back. With a purr, Yvette settled into the seat, curling her paws in under herself. I turned into the parking lot.

“Are you planning on keeping her?”

“I don’t know. We can figure that out later. Go get our food.”

“Why do I have to get it?”

“Because I paid for it, I drove you here. I picked you up from school.”

“You go to the same school. It’s not like it was out of y-”

“Just go and get the damn food. Please.” She mumbled something under her breath, mocking me, no doubt, but got out of the car and slammed the door behind her.

“Okay,” I spun around in the seat. Yvette popped open one eye and stretched out before hopping up onto the center console.

“You’ve got until she comes back to tell me what’s going on. What are you? Why are you hear?”

I can’t answer every question you have right now.

[haunted-plush]

pov

Spoilers for chapter six of my Cars fanfiction!!

Mater's pov :]

---

They sat side by side on the roof of his truck, stargazing each with a beer in hand. He'd brought a case with him, even though he wasn't sure if Lightning was allowed to drink since he was technically under arrest.

He seemed to have issues with that anyway... but Mater figured it might make him happy. It seemed to work.

But overall he felt like he could sense McQueen just... *wasn't* happy. He sure had a lot of nice things, sure, but... he'd been nothing but angry since he'd crashed into town. Mater hoped his friendliness would thaw out the ice Lightning surrounded himself in. It seemed to be working.

They talked for a while, about Lightning's life mostly, how he had so much, fancy things and girlfriends and money... but Mater didn't see the point in all that if you were all alone on the inside.

A silence fell between them, and Mater heard Lightning sniff as he avoided his eye. He decided not to mention it. But...

"...I'm sorry if you're not really happy," he murmured.

"S-stop it. Stop doing that."

"What? What am I doin?"

“I-I don't- that!! Stop… being so nice. I can't stand it.”

“Oh… sorry.”

“Stop it.”

“...sorry.”

Mater wasn't sure what he wanted from him. He was just trying to be... well, he'd asked him not to be nice. Why? He just wished he could understand Lightning. See what was going on in that city boy's head.

“I'm sorry if I overstepped somewhere or-”

“Stop!! Just don't say anything else. I don't wanna hear you anymore…”

Lightning surprised him by shouting in protest, and Mater looked down at him to see him gripping his sleeves and staring at the ground. Was he trembling, or was that Mater's imagination...?

Then Lightning looked back up at him, a pained expression on his face.

Gosh, his eyes sure are blue, Mater thought as the moonlight illuminated the blond.

How pretty.

“Why are you so nice to me?” Lightning whispered.

“After I've been nothing but an asshole.”

Mater sighed softly.

“Cause you're my friend.”

“Don't say that.”

“Why?”

“You don't… you wouldn't understand.”

Mater tilted his head a little like a dog.

“You're right… I don't understand.”

And he didn't. He just wanted to know what in Lightning was hurting so bad. So he could help him. He wasn't sure just why, but he wanted to help him so much. It hurt his heart to see Lightning this way.

Lightning seemed to search his face, and Mater looked back. What was going through his head right now? Was there something he wanted to say but just... couldn't?

Oh, I wish them eyes wasn't so distracting...

And suddenly he felt himself being pulled forward, his jacket grabbed and pulled in by Lightning... their lips meeting, startling Mater. But it wasn't unwelcome, surprisingly.

Oh, Mater thought.

This ain't so bad.

He started to lean in, pulling Lightning close.

---

Hope you like this Tetris :3

[damelucyjo]

Okay. I think I’ve calmed down enough. I’ve done the ironing listening to Films To Be Buried with. I’m in a better mood. So let’s give this rewatch a go so I can pretend most of it never happened!

Episode 12 - So Long, Farewell

I will say, one thing I love (as a Brit that has to be involved in football in some way) is that this show got so many ‘real’ football people involved. It’s a shame it was all men though…

Ooo Rebecca, looking for as always 😏 that robe is a gorgeous colour

Is that headline indicating Bex kicked Rupert out?? Good on ya, girl! 💪🏼

Exactly. Shut up Thierry

‘Morning, Rebecca’ ‘Morning, Ted’ WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO US 😫😫

Heavily implying they slept together. Why else would they be so awkward around each other?? 🤔

The fake out was cruel, but the introduction of Beard is brilliant

And what the actual fuck are you wearing Brendan?! 😂 To be that comfortable around your boss 😂

Okay but now I really want to see what the night before was like. Also why are Beard & Jane at Rebecca’s? Why not go to Jane’s?? 🤔

Also was there really an emergency? Or does Beard know there could be something between Ted & Rebecca and needed them to spend real time outside of work together??? If so you’re a genius, my friend!

Yes, Rebecca. Don’t talk about it. That way it’s not happening 👍🏼

GET YOUR BARE ARSE OFF HER COUNTER!! 😂 it’s kinda like a car crash; you know you shouldn’t look but you can’t look away either 😂

Poor Mina 😂 Rebecca, I hope you pay her a ridiculous amount of money

‘Those ropes are not garbage. Some of it’s dirty on purpose’ they sure are an interesting couple 😂

God Hannah’s pretty. And Jason looks very cute 🥰

YYEEAAAHHHH!

I absolutely love how over the top all these boys are with things

He’s the assistant kit man 🥺 I actually love that. Not so much that this is the first times it’s mentioned though…

‘I was just the only one that was snoring’ 😜 Jamie putting extra money in the box, how far you’ve come 🥰

Okay the tears have started again. I’m gonna miss these boys so much!! 🥹🥹🥹

I wish they had shown Keeley scaring Roy. That’d’ve been hilarious

‘… stuff’ 😂😂😂

She shredded his passport 👀

‘I won’t take it out, but I’m happy to tell you you’re wrong’ love the confidence, Trent 👌🏼

It’s a real shame it’s taken until the last episode to see Keeley doing press for the club again 🙁 I’ve missed the scenes between these three

‘Juicer, the better. Safe save’ he’s such a gossip 😂

Exactly. Fuck Rupert. Why waste breath on him

She truly is living in denial! She’s finding it very hard and everyone knows 🥺 Poor Rebecca

WE’RE NEVER GOING TO GET TO SEE THEM ALL BEING SILLY TOGETHER AGAIN 😫

The shock on their faces! 😮

Final spit take & ‘fuck me’ call back 🫡

Nobody is handling them leaving well 🫠

This is incredibly cute though 🥹 their little smiles

ROY MOUTHING ALONG!! My heart 🥰🥰

Everyone in the stands joining in on the final goodbye 🥲 I’m fully crying

Oop a ‘perfect’ call… forward? Foreshadowing?? 🤔

So who told everyone ‘Now react as if we’ve just won the whole fucking thing’ 😂

‘Love those boots’ cause we need to stereotypically remind everyone Trent is gay 🫣

Just call back after call back in this episode 🫡

They’re friends now 🥹 my little heart

‘I really am exceptional’ yes you are, Deborah!

Rebecca, even your mum knows it’s more than a big deal to you that Ted is leaving. So much so that he’s equating it to him dying…

She just wants her daughter to be happy 🥲🥺 am I crying again? Have I even stopped??

See, I love their relationship now! Another thing we’ve not gotten to see much of 😢

Deborah & Mae bestie era WE NEVER GOT TO FUCKING SEE. I’m gonna flip a table 🫠

These three have been amazing to watch too. They so easily could have been throw away characters, but they’re not. They’re wonderful

But she ain’t your mother, boys 😂

Oh she did not like being called their grandmother 😂😂 Harriet, nicely done

So we’ve been cheated out of seeing Dame Harriet Walter skateboard. Rude.

The outrage!! 😂

He’s proud of him 🥹 here comes the tears again

Mentioning the video was a low blow, Jamie

‘If you go, I go’ 🥺🥹🫡

She truly thought about what they could do to get him to stay. Told him if he goes, she goes. That if she sells 49% of the club she could pay him a lot more, but nowhere near what he’s worth… fully outright asks him to please stay… and he gives her nothing. Certainly was a choice, Jason 🙄

Hannah is giving a masterclass in this scene, though

And he couldn’t even tell her she shouldn’t sell?? Wtf is up with that??

‘More like Drink, Sleep, Fuck’ 😂 I wanna watch that show!

Of course they beat the shit out of each other over Keeley. Good on you girl for sending them both packing!! 💪🏼 at least they know they’re idiots 😂

I actually love this scene between Nate & Ted. It felt like a great ending to their story. He’s getting to see Ted’s forgiveness first hand. Beautiful.

Oh, look! The rom-com couple 👀

A call back to the tickets under country women 🫡 My Wynonna Judd loving heart is soaring at this mention! A lovely nod to her for her contribution to Thundergong. Also this episode (if it hadn’t been pushed back 3 hours) would have been released on her birthday! 🥳

And I am happy to see whatshisface back too… genuinely can’t remember the characters name… JOHN! 🫣😂 also he’s not a Richmond fan. Why is he there??

Shut up, Jake

SHARON!!!!!!!!!!! 🥰

Yes, Ted, it doesn’t make sense. But we don’t question it!

‘You’re stuck with us, buddy’ but not really, cause you’re leaving. Arsehole.

‘Can I be a diamond dog’ 🥺 boys, he really needs help 🥺 and he’s actually asking for it for once 🥹 well done, Roy

I’d have liked just one scene of the guys in the changing rooms reaction to that lot barking 😂

You’re still you because you don’t need to change, Roy. You don’t need to be someone better. You just need to learn to speak up more. Talk about things with others. That’s it, babes!

Okay, now that shimmy was also kinda perfect 😂

Of course he got George to be his new coach.

Okay, question (if you read this); why now all the negative press against Rupert when it’s nearly the same as when he broke up with Rebecca?? Is the fact that the affair came out as sexual misconduct instead the only real difference? Why such a shock when he’s been in the press for the same thing before?? Another thing that doesn’t make sense to me 🤷🏻‍♀️

Tony showing wonderfully that being Rupert in public is him ‘playing a part’. God, I love this man

Good on you, Rebecca, for showing him he really doesn’t get to you anymore. I’m so proud of you!

And Ellie Taylor 🫡 I do not like Sassy, but you’re amazing, babes!

I completely missed Barbara holding up her hand for a high five and Rebecca just waving at her the first time I watched this!! 😂😂😂

She’s into violence, and I think that’s perfect. Barbara is possibly the only addition to this season that they got spot on. I love her!! How of that is down to Katy though, I don’t know…

😂 Mary’s reaction

Why bring up Zava again? This really wasn’t needed 🫢

‘Zorro’ was too easy 😂

As an ex Irish dancer of nearly 29 years I’m going to take that Michael Flatley mention purely for me. Sorry guys ✌🏼😜😂

Yes, this video made me as much of a mess as it made the 😫😫😫 oh, shirt indeed

SHUT UP, JAKE!

Another nice callback to Nate knowing what the notifications means 🫡

Nice goal, Chip 😉😂

‘Shut your butts and sit your mouths down’ made me chuckle both times I’ve seen this now 😂

Another tear inducing speech 🥲 I’m gonna miss you too, Ted

I know it’s to make a point, but how did he forget the sign wasn’t there?? You just had a conversation about it, man. Are you really that for gone?? 🫣

It had to be either Sam or Jamie to start off the Believe sign pieces 🫡

And they were all in the most perfect of places! Behind Sam’s inspiration, in Jamie’s book, Issac’s armband, Colin’s shinguard 🥹🥹

Another sweet moment between Nate & Ted

So is number 4 that their belief can be broken, but together they can put it back together again?? If so it’s brilliant! (I can’t remember what 1, 2 & 3 were 😂)

‘I know folks like to say ‘There’s no place like home.’ That’s true. Man, there ain’t a whole lot of places like AFC Richmond either’ SO DON’T LEAVE THEN, TED!! 🫠

Miss after Miss after miss 😂 this game would go fine in history if it were real! 😂

Sharon is me throughout this match 😂

Ooo Rupert is falling apart 🫢😏

Allowing Issac to take the penalty, showing they all know it’s just a game. Like Colin said ‘it’ll be fun’ 🥹

SHUT. UP. JAKE! 😂

He broke the fucking net!! 😂😂 nice one, Issac!!

Oh he’s really mad!! And Rebecca is confused… why is she paying him any attention, honestly!

Sharon really is me watching football 😂

Hitting John in the face - brilliant. But as I said before, since when has he been a Richmond fan?! Am I forgetting something?? 🤔

Fucking Barbara absolutely loving it 😂😂😂

Here he comes, Emperor Palpatine 🫣 and he is not happy!

Another callback!! Someone get this man some longer shorts! 😂

Dude… to fall apart like that in front of that many people 🫠

I’ve already written about this, but Rupert walking off the pitch breaks my heart. Tony made Rupert so human 😢

Ted just now knowing the offside rule enough to pick up on it when both Beard & Roy don’t?? YOU SHOULD NOT BE LEAVING, TED!! How many more times do I have to tell you?? 🙄

And an offside payout callback 🫡

Had to bring it full circle by asking Nate for his opinion and using his play 🫡

A hilarious call back for Jamie too!! 😂 bet Phil had fun with that

And the quiet mention of Barbecue Sauce 🥹🫡

Of course they won right at the last moment

Sharon! 😂 glad we got to see something more from Sarah! We’ve never seen Sharon this animated!!

And a jump into the arms! 🥲🫡 As a solid lover of the callbacks I’m incredibly great full for the amount we’ve had this episode

Have the fans storm the pitch but don’t use it as an excuse to get Rebecca down there? Huge wasted opportunity!!

Colin kissed his boyfriend!! 🥹🥰

And he did his celebration dance from the pilot 🥹🫡 we love to see it

Oh she’s so emotional 🥰

Had to pause of this Sun cover - Rupert’s out, Kakes is going on Lust Conquers All and Bex got a book deal 👍🏼 nice one, ladies!

Of course he had to grab a copy of the paper that had her photo on it 😏

Then we get a Zava returns, Shandy’s doing great, and a Marcus Rashford Beano 🥹 the work that goes into this show is incredible!

And a rule of 3 with the ussie kid! 🫡 but did he forget he’s met him before or??

‘Wicked’ ‘Kinky Boots’ 🥺 I’m gonna miss these

So was she not going to make a fuss if he hadn’t happened to have seen her?? And why have her turn around right as he notices her?? Why do they do these things?! 😫

She’s sticking around because you told her without words you don’t want her to go with you, mate. She didn’t want to talk about it before, but apparently neither did you!

Not the ‘club matriarch’ 🤢

Like… I really am confused. There’s so much Jason & Hannah put into their performances that speak volumes, and yet the words they speak contradict it all. What I get from this ‘thank you’ moment is that both of them have so much they want to say but won’t. Or can’t. Kills me

And those tears are purely Hannah. You can’t tell me otherwise 🥺

MAYBE I AM STILL ANGRY ABOUT THINGS! How can you have a woman in front of you, holding back tears as fiercely as she is, and not say anything. If you’re so confident you’re making the right decision why aren’t you trying to reassure her. Comfort her. I-

Good God Hannah is so pretty when she cries 🫠

He’s on the plane asking his best friend if it really was the best decision to leave. Showing he’s really not sure if he’s making the right choice. Beard got off the plane, Ted (award worthy performance I might add) and so could you.

A great fake out would have been if it seemed like he was leaving, but didn’t. Cut to him in the airport watching the plane take off. Or he arrives in Kansas but tells Henry he can’t stay. Yes, I’m bitter. Leave me alone.

How long was she in that airport for her to be completely fine now??

Baby Rebecca!!

And Boat Man! Who I will admit looks great in that pilot uniform 😏 Well done, Rebecca 😂

He gets her name but we don’t get his? Rude.

Omg she gifted them snow gloves! The Barbara effect!! 🥰

KBPR… Keeley Barbara Public Relations?? I like it!

Roy as the new manager, as he should 🫡

Aww, the little photo and sign from Phoebe 🥰

Sam on the Nigerian team is a little wtf. Did Edwin change his mind about Sam? Did the breakdown of the Super League make him wash his hands with football completely?? THESE ARE THE THINGS I NEED ANSWERS TO!! 👀

Aww, Jamie & his dad 🥰

Everyone at the Higgins’ for a BBQ 👀

Dutch man’s daughter and Phoebe playing together is cute, though

The boys having one share in the club 🥰

Mae having a whole stack 😂

Hey, it’s Shannon! Nice callback to have her be the one to show at Trent’s signing 🫡

‘The Richmond Way’ 🥰 ‘A very brief forward by Roy Kent’ 😂

AFC Richmond Woman’s Team 👀 This is the spin-off!! it’s not a want, it’s a need!!

And Sharon’s back at the club?? SINCE WHEN?! I just-

But Roy getting help from the Head of Mental Health & Emotional Well-Being. Well done, Roy. 🫡

I’m also incredibly happy Beard is still with the club, too 🥰

Nate on Roy’s shoulders 😂 made me chuckle

The fixed sign 🥹

COULD HAVE ENDED THE SHOW THERE!! Just saying

But no, had to show Beard marrying his abusive, pregnant girlfriend 🙄 I really hope for his sake they just didn’t show that she’s really calmed down and we just didn’t see it. LIKE SO MUCH ELSE! 🫢

WHY WASN’T TED AT HIS BEST FRIENDS WEDDING?!?! 📢📢📢

Everyone with their partners 🥹 or both partners in Dani’s case 😂

And how wonderful to see the couple who helped Beard on his crazy night out with their baby 🥰 I actually love that he apparently kept in touch with them 🥰

But Ted’s asleep on the plane… 👀 Ted doesn’t sleep on planes… was that montage all his dream?? SO MANY UNANSWERED FUCKING QUESTIONS!!!

Henry & Michelle didn’t go get him from the airport?? Thought his son was desperate to have his dad back??

So are they implying he’s back in his unhappy life he left?? Okay…

He basically became one of the biggest names within English Football for what he did, and now he’s just coaching his son’s soccer team?? Like…🤷🏻‍♀️ more questions for my list…

That did not seem like. Happy guy at the end… 🫤

Okay, apparently Dutch man is called Matthijs and his daughter is called Jelka. Good to know! Would have been nice if it wasn’t left to the credits to teach me that… 🫣

Woah. Okay. I honestly don’t know that I’ll ever be able to watch that episode again in it’s entirety. There were many things I loved about it, but also things that I didn’t. And whilst I felt the same about many other episodes, I did expect more for the season finale. Why did him leaving seem to everyone like they were never going to talk again?? Did they all agree to never stay in contact??

But I do know that it didn’t ruin the show as a whole for me 👍🏼 I’ll just stay living in my delusional TedBecca fantasy land they built for me 😉

[buddiex911]

I am the biggest fan of the dramatic shooting/car crash buddie nde theories going on rn BUT I have an alternate proposal that I would love to see.

a quiet, sneaky, intimate nde where they are trapped in a tight space and running out of air or there’s a gas leak or some sort of imminent threat to their lives but it’s not shocking or violent and they have time (minutes) to really sink into the reality of their deaths and they have just long enough to panic and there’s angry fists banging on walls and sobs of but what about chris he can’t loose us both and there’s buck trying to break the door down because there’s not a locked room anywhere that with enough time and the right tools you can't break into but he has no tools and is running out of time and wasting strength and wasting air and eddie knows this and he knows that he loves buck he knows he knows he knows so he stops him and grabs his face in his hands so he can see his eyes one last time and buck is twitching under his gaze not ready to accept what eddie already has and eddie is whispering to buck i’m here i’m here we’ll be okay baby just stay with me please just be here with me and buck is becoming delirious so he just nods, eyes brimming with tears that mirror eddie's already leaking ones and as their weakening bodies slide down the wall to land in heaps on the floor eddie never lets go and buck whispers it’s okay i’m not afraid anymore because I’m with you because it's always been you because it’s actually all a call back to the only thing more painful than living alone is dying alone and they never say the words but they look into each others eyes and it’s enough but it’s not enough because they missed out on so much time together and buck just gently pulls eddie’s hand from his cheek and intertwines their fingers like he’s always dreamed of and he’s crying now but before eddie can gently thumb away his tears and before buck can bring their interlaced fingers to his lips they pass out, slumped on each other and the camera pans down to their hands still joined in death before it cuts to black.

then after the commercial break we see a montage of the rest of the 118 breaking in because of course bobby kept his promise and we see hen and chim and bobby and athena (because of course she’s there too) staring dumb founded at the scene they stumble into because their boys who are so big and full of life are now lifeless and there’s no screaming partner to shake them out of their stupor until bobby rushes forwards to buck’s lifeless form and from there we see flashes of them being resuscitated, of silent tears streaking down cheeks and someone’s radioing to dispatch so josh can bring maddy to the hospital and hen and chim are hooking them to monitors and loading them into separate ambulances because they’re chasing each other to the hospital this time. then we see the entire family in the waiting room standing and helplessly watching as both boys are rushed into the hospital and they don't know what to do because they’ve never had to deal with this before. then eddie wakes up in a fit of panic believing his buck is still lying dead and cold on the floor and he’s writhing in his bed muttering no no no why not me why didn’t he take me instead and nurses rush in alerted by the sounds of his alarms and bobby is hot on their heels not wasting a second to breathe before the words eddie eddie eddie tumble out of his lips he’s okay he’s alive he’s here he’s just down the hall and eddie is ripping his ivs and nasal cannula out and pushing his way out of the room and it’s one final call back to the shooting but this time it’s eddie running into buck’s hospital room and he’s not awake yet but maddy is there holding his hand and the mid season finale ends with one final shot of eddie breathing out a sigh of relief because buck is still here and he’s alive and holy shit I think he might love me too.

[soodoonimin]

An exercise in heartbreak

It's very freeing to know that when I post this you won't see it. You see, I don't know if I considered myself a bit an optimist but for the last six years I thought I was married.

Six years ago I met this boy during a great upheaval of my life, I was just about to start a daunting new adventure and I've never like going on those alone so I asked you to join me; even if it was you who made the formal gesture. It was exciting, we were excited and every day you promised me, it would last forever.

I think I used to be an optimist because it was easy to ignore the cracks that weren't cracks, they were chasms and the red flags that weren't just red flags but full banners.

I think a cartoon owl once said something about rose colored glasses and red flags.

So when reality came crashing down on me, I didn't know how to deal with it, so I did the only thing I knew how to do, I kept being an optimist. I realize now that you’re not special in this regard, I've given so many people too many chances they probably didn’t deserve.

Looking back, the issue was, you weren't the only reality crashing down on me and unlike the other bitter things in my life, you could be sweet, you were mostly sweet.

People rightfully blame the lockdown for a lot of things but I think for me that was when I finally had the chance to look at myself and see who I was and who I wanted to be. I told you as much but you didn't listen to me. If I had know that then, I think might have been the one to leave.

But you were great at pretending, so I kept moving forward, making strides in discovering who I was and for a little while, I was finally able to achieve something that looked like complete happiness.

Unfortunately, that’s when I began to notice that you never shared those victories.

I think I still had some of that optimist in me because I told myself the glass was still half full despite the fact that it was cracked and leaking.

I'll stop mincing words here, because here is where it becomes a lot more real. I got a surgery that I knew was going to change my life for the better. You never gave me an indication that you were unhappy with this decision that I was making for my mind and body. And if you had, how would I have known? You were always so miserable already.

I don't think of myself as a martyr, I think of myself as someone who does nice things for the people I care about and some times even the people I don't care about, because its the right thing to do. Because it makes them happy. Because I like seeing people happy.

So I thought I earned the right to do some good for myself, to give myself something that was going to make me happy.

But I guess you didn't think the same thing.

There's something I left out.

See, that boy I met six years ago, during all this time, I was starting to realize that I was still married to that boy; he'd never grown up. Even if he paid his bills and drove a fast car, he was still a boy.

And even though everyone around me tells me I shouldn’t be, I am sad that you're gone. I am sad that you left. I do cry some nights because I miss you and maybe if we're really being honest, I cry because I still loved you despite the fact that you never changed but you couldn't find it in your heart to love me even though I had.

So maybe I'm not so much of an optimist anymore and maybe I should be angry at you for that but then again old habits die hard because despite how much you hurt me, I can only think to thank you not just for the genuinely beautiful moments we shared but because you also helped me memorize a lot red flags and I know for sure that the next person I share those moments with won’t have any.

[mattscoquette]

staying at bf!matt's house during a storm

the sound of the soft pitter pattering of the rain against your apartment window, along the occasional thunder rumble, filled the background noises while you laid in bed, wrapped in your comforter as you tried to calm yourself down from the podcast you had just watched. lately you’d been on a true crime kick, indulging in at least three episodes per night, sometimes even more. the last few you’d watched, though, had really shaken you up. the fact that there was a massive thunderstorm rolling through los angeles right now wasn’t helping either.

your room lit up from the flash of lightening, followed by a large crash of thunder that practically shook your whole building. you wrapped the covers around you tighter, as if the fabric would somehow protect you. you reached for your phone on the night stand next to you, scrolling through your recent phone calls until you landed on the familiar name. the phone rang twice before the sound of your boyfriends voice flooded your ears though the phone speaker.

“hey love, what’s going on? you good?” matt spoke, his voice sounding as if he just woke up.

“sorry, did i wake you? it’s nothing really..” you started, instantly feeling bad. you were an adult, you could sleep alone for the night.

“no no, you’re good. what’s up?” matt assured you.

“i watched a scary true crime podcast,” you admitted, laughing a bit at yourself, “can i sleep at your place tonight?”

“of course, i’m on my way right now,” he replied, the sound of him shuffling around and grabbing his keys could be heard from his end of the line.

as he promised, not even ten minutes later, matt was parked outside your apartment complex, keeping you on the phone until he saw you come outside. upon entering the car, he pulled you into his embrace, burying his face in your hair while kissing your temple. “you alright baby?” he asked you, pulling away to meet your eyes.

you nodded, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek while you buckled yourself into the passenger seat. “i am now, thanks again for coming.”

“anything for my girl.” matt smiled, placing the car into drive and bringing you back to his house.

જ⁀➴

when the two of you arrived at matt’s shared apartment, he quietly let you both in, trying not to wake up his brothers as they were sound asleep. you made your way back into matt’s bedroom, changing into a pair of his boxers and an oversized tee as he insisted you needed a new set of pajamas because the ones you were wearing had gotten a little damp from the rain. you slipped underneath his silk sheets, waiting for your boyfriend to join you in bed. sure enough, you heard the door creak open as you were met with the sight of the brunette haired boy. he padded his way over to the bed, laying down and pulling you into his chest as his hand went up to rub your back underneath your shirt.

“you feeling better sweetheart?” matt asked you, tilting his head down to get a better look at you as your tired eyes looked up to meet his gaze.

“yeah,” you replied, feeling bad about how childish you were acting over this, “could you maybe turn the tv on before we go to bed?”

“of course baby.” matt told you, leaning forward slightly as he reached for the remote, scrolling through netflix until he stopped at your favorite, ten things i hate about you. he clicked play, setting the volume low as he re-situated himself so you were snuggled into his body as your head lay in the crook of his neck. he began toying with the ends of your hair, pressing soft kisses to your head every so often, whispering sweet nothings to you.

you were barely twenty minutes into the movie, and your eyelids began to feel heavier and heavier with each blink. soon enough, your soft snores echoed throughout the room as you fell asleep entangled with matt, the podcast episode now long gone in your mind.

© mattscoquette | taglist

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬. ⋆˚꩜｡ inspired from this post and this post in my inbox!

[visible-buttholegirl]

hello! i had a draft started for this post but i just accidentally deleted it!! ugh. whatever, it was basically just about how i'm doing better this week and i hope to keep things up (eating better, exercising and being active in general, having time to be creative/learn things/play video games, etc) moving forward since this was my goal for the year in the first place. for instance, i'm finally taking my temps test on Wednesday so hopefully i can actually achieve my goal this year of getting my license FINALLY and also saving up enough for a car! i'm also taking a trip soon which is small (and part of it was to see Madonna live but well... you know) but it will still be fun to go somewhere i've never been before and take a break from normal life.

i am here to update that post and say that i am feeling SO happy right now. i don't wanna get carried away only to come crashing down, but i want to capture this moment in time to look back on in the future and hopefully help motivate me in inevtible times where i don't feel so good.

this week i have eaten almost all meals at home and they've been healthy, and i've worked out and felt good after each time doing it! i was a little social, getting ramen with my friend at our favorite place before it closed for good 🥲, and then tonight was the second year in a row of running a 5K with my dad as part of one of my city's summer street festivals! we run through the downtown area in the street at night and its so fun to run among hundreds of other locals and do so in the street of the city i grew up in! afterwards we had a beer and got some food from this local African restaurant, and then biked home! it was such a great time, like not to be gay but i am filled with joy right now 🥰

this weekend will be pretty packed too but i'll try my best to be reasonable so i still have money saved for the trip and also for my future car! and i see myself continuing on this path of exercising and continuing this casual meal plan i have put in place last week (basically fancy chicken and rice bro). as this all becomes easier and second nature i will try to implement more things like extracurricular activities and maybe even attempting to date more! i'd love to kiss a boy before the year is out. but one thing at a time!!!

i have been so negative on here in the past and i have just been in a dreadful flop era, but i'm ready to overcome it now. i'm so happy right now and i know what i need to do to keep this feeling going and crawl my way out of that hole i dug myself into since the pandemic started. life is good and feels really worth living 💗✨ i hope i can continue to feel this way (and feel even better over time) and i hope that anyone that reads this feels this way about life too.

[dromjournal]

Jan 22nd

I'm at a farm, the kind that's very Austen-esque mansion like with a pond and open grass areas. The pond is overflowing somewhat due to a period of rain.

We (me and a heavily pregnant woman and a young child) need to get to the train station to go back home, but it's a long way from here and there's no cars or anything, therefore we need to borrow some horses and a carriage. We are allowed to do it as we have paid for it, but the farm owners- workers?? Still seems sort of passive aggressively trying yo dissuade us.

The owner is a middle-aged woman and she has a lot of people around her that acts as if she's a small king with a whole political party behind her. I assume that isn't too far from the truth? Though a lot of her fame is connected to this farm she is some sort of politically important person.

We drive off but very soon we realize we are tailed by another more or less identical carriage. In good faith we don't do anything about it until the wheel on our cart breaks out of nowhere. It's as if it's been tampered with. The other carriage stops too to reveal the owner and a few workers. They get out and tell us they will take the carriage and horses back, but it's okay, because the road is flooded just right up ahead and they have a large boat that they will take us over on. Okay, we don't have much of a choice really. I go ahead to check the boat and road. I'm not gone for long, s few hours at most.

When I get back I find my wife(?) had gone into labor and died shortly after together with the child. The older child had also died in some freak accident that he had caused himself, like being trampled by the horses. This is the story I'm told, although no one seems particularly upset about it. Rather they joke about how it'll be much easier to move now. Something is wrong. I am overcome with grief, and that grief turns to anger.

I just want to crash the whole thing, which I also do. I get out on the deck of the boat while the others mainly stay inside. A few of them comes outside though to smoke or just to be assholes. I kill several of the employees that had been left with my wife after they taunt me about her death. On the ferry there's a huge buffet, but I'm locked out of it on the deck (which, fair enough, I did kill the people that came outside), exposed to the weather and cold. I can't find a way in and I can only sometimes see the owner through a window, looking down at me smirking. She don't even seem to care about the employees, she just enjoys my misery.

We dock after some time and I immediately start following a stamped dirt road, the only road there is so logically the one to the station. The others follow behind me but doesn't make any attempt at catching up or talk to me. They seem in good spirits. I don't have any way to tell time because of the thick fog by the water and woods, but I haven't had anything to eat or drink for days, being "locked out" of everything on the boat and provisions long gone. I just keep thinking we are so close now, we must be there any day now. I'm stubbornly hanging on to get away.

Then suddenly the woods clear up a bit around us and I see the water close to the trail. It's the pond. Across it, just a few kilometres away, is the farm. We've been going in a circle. I fall to my knees, exhaustion taking over my body as hopelessness washes over me. I had never been close to getting out. It was all for nothing. The group behind me laughs loudly and scornfully as they walk past me, leaving me with my spirit broken on that road without a second glance. They had known, of course. I fall forward, cheek against the dry dirt, until I can no longer hear them talking and laughing in the distance. I lie there as the night grows cold and I am sure I will freeze to death. I lie there as the morning comes around and the dew melts on my skin. I am little more than a ghost, a living dead.

Then suddenly a boy on skates crashes into a tree and fall down unconscious just a few hundred metres from me. I get up, paternal worry cracking through the hopelessness and giving me enough strength and motivation to move. I can't tell much about the person because they're all dressed up in ski wear head to toe, I can just tell they're small, unconscious, and about to be dead if they don't get medical help quickly.

With powers I didn't know I still had in me I get walking,carrying the child on my back. I walk towards the only place I know there will be people. I walk despite my body being famished and exhausted, because this kid needs me.

I come up to the farm, where the owner is now busy entertaining dressed up guests. It's not like the last time I was here when it was just my family, this time the place has a lot of strangers around just looking and admiring the place. I probably make quite a sight.

She goes white when she sees me. She thought I was dead and now I'm there, which is dangerous for her both because I have reason to and might attack her directly, and because if what she did to my family got out she would be ruined. She was a politician. Her reputation was everything.

However I ignore her and call for help. Protecting comes before punishing. People are immediately filling in around me to help with the boy.

[ashey-did-owt-wrong]

@twilightarcade 's:

I was walking home from being at the cinema with mates(oppenheimer. meh not great movie) and halfway home, in the centre of town egg boom! Next to me on the floor

Antother egg right after actually hits me (I AM SO LUCKY. it bounced off and splattered on the floor i am SO LUCKY. It somehow hit me probably the only place it wouldnt go splat everywhere it hit where my hoodies hood on my back so ljke 3 layers of fabric not 1

It hurt dude. For just an egg why did it hurt

They yelled 'fucking tr.nny' which like. Im 9999% sure is a slur and they i dont think they meant it nicely. Im sort of not the target audience but like. Its not okay. Like at all

The cars (two of them. What the fuck) drove past forwards and lobbed two more eggs but they missed im so lucky

They came round past a second time i think they went around the block and threw one at me and two at this mum with a baby in a buggy. Like whaf the fuck.

I fucking WISH i had a rock. Just from anywhere small enoigh i can throw big enough to damage their cars smash a window i would fucking throw it so hard and then leg it the other way i wishhh. I need to start carrying around rocks or soemthing

I am quite proud of how i reacted. I just didnt at all i hipe they got absolutely nothing out of me. Even when they hit me i didnt even turn or look at them. I didnt stop walking or change or do anything percievable i hope i hope. I so hope they got nothing out of me at all they dont deserve anything at all i hope they crash and die and fall off a cliff and burn in hell and fail at samsara and get reborn as a fly or whatever religions punishment for being an utter cunt to decent people around you

Im really more bothered about the baby in the buggy. What if they hit the baby or the mum that would actually be awful they were doing literally nothing at all whatsoever. The six boys in the car deserve to fucking . Crash and burn and everything bad

Im so popular that people threw eggs at me from out of a car whilst yelling slurs!!!!!!!!!!

[memes-saved-me]

"I'm not blind, Steve. You just need to go for it and stop dancing around the fact you miss Nancy," Robin rolled her eyes as she boosted herself up onto the counter to swing herself around and lock the front door. 

"Well, you must be," Steve snapped under his breath. 

"What?" Dustin asked walking over from the horror section. 

"Doesn't matter," he groaned and finished logging off the computer, head down looking at the keyboard. 

"It's so obvious you still love her. All the moping and avoiding dates with super hot girls," she continued. "What else would it be?" 

"It doesn't matter," Steve grabbed the safe keys and the tray from the register. "Both of you in the car when I get back or you're locked in for the night." 

With that, he walked into the back office and sure enough when he locked the back door and walked around front they were leaning against the Beamer waiting but the second they drove out of the parking lot they started again. 

"Dustin these girls are like better than small town hot. We're talking top of the tier hot but little old Steve is too busy yearning after Wheeler to even consider accepting their dates," Robin dramatically told the boy in the back seat. 

"Wow," Dustin laughed. "Now come on you can't get more obvious than that." 

"That's what I'm saying!" 

"Will you two just stop!" Steve threw on the breaks making them all jolt forward. 

"What the hell?" they both exclaimed as they sat in the middle of the road nearing midnight. 

"I don't still love Nancy. Haven't in a long time and no I do not miss her. Happy now?" 

"Woah, calm down," Robin said. 

"I'm sick of being calm. I'm sick and tired and pretending that I don't wake up every morning with a pain in my chest because he's gone," he choked back tears. "Then I have to come to work and listen to you two talk about Nancy and how sad I am or how quiet I've been. I'm sick of it." 

"Steve," Dustin leaned between the seats slightly. "What do you mean?" 

He took a deep breath and stared out at the empty road, fear suddenly kicking in as he realised he just yelled his most protected secret. Reality crashing down on his tense shoulders. 

"Who's gone?" Robin asked quietly. 

"Shit," Steve sighed and with his chest tight he answered. "Billy." 

"Billy as in Billy?" she looked at him concerned yet confused. 

Steve nodded but she titled her head still not clicking what he meant. "Robin," he said with tears welling in his eyes. 

"Oh," she breathed. "Is that why he used to-?" 

"Yes." 

"What?" Dustin asked not understanding what was going on. 

"Steve misses Billy," she answered for him. "Billy and Steve were..." 

"Dating," Steve filled in for her. "I lo...we were together for a bit but....he's gone now so it doesn't matter." 

"Oh," Dustin said sitting back in his seat and going silent which scared Steve more than he thought it would. 

"It does matter, Steve. I'm sorry," Robin tried to talk to him but he was already driving again and not fully listening. "I'm sorry." 

The car went silent but soon enough they pulled up at the Henderson home and Dustin opened his door but paused. "I'm sorry, Steve." 

Steve nodded and waited until he was inside to continue down the road. 

"Why didn't you tell me," Robin asked after a few minutes. "You know I wouldn't have said anything." 

"He didn't want anyone to know so I kept my promise until now," he replied. 

"How long were you two...?" 

"March 3rd. Well, that's when it started but we never really talked about it. Things just happened and then we agreed it was something." 

"Right," she nodded. 

"I loved...I still love him, Rob. I wish I didn't because no one gives a shit about him anymore. There was a few weeks after Starcourt happened that people mentioned him and told Max they were sorry but then nothing." 

"I'm so sorry. If we'd known we wouldn't have said all that." 

"I know. Sorry I snapped but I'm just so tired of hurting," Steve stopped talking to hold back the tears for as long as he could, the plan to drop Robin off and cry on the way home was about to fail. "I know heartbreak fades. It did with Nancy but this...this is something else." 

"Steve," Robin wiped at her face. "You've never talked about this? Ever?" 

"No, I thought it would just go away and I'd find a girl or something. We always joked about running away but now I don't think I can ever leave because he's here. I just miss him so much," that was when the tears finally gave way and began streaming down his cheeks to the point he had to pull over. 

"I'm so sorry," Robin kept repeating, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders as he cried into the steering wheel. "You're not supposed to have to deal with this at nineteen, Steve." 

"He deserved to be saved and I wasn't there to do anything. I was down in that stupid Russian base thinking about if I survived I was going to get him away from here. Take him home," he was sobbing at this point, hands clutching the wheel as he let it all out for the first time. 

"Can I do anything?" she asked moving back to her seat as he sat up and wiped his face with his sleeves.  

"There's nothing to do really. I just miss him and I don't know when I'll stop and the stupid thing is I don't want to get used to him being gone. I hate the fact he's gone. I didn't even get to say goodbye and if I ever lose this feeling it's like he's actually gone. I can't even say that he's..," he sighed and looked up. "For so long I hoped he was stuck somewhere like Will was. That he would give me a sign but no...he's not stuck in the Upside Down, he's dead." 

"Does Max know?" she asked which distracted him enough to calm down slightly. 

"I don't know," he replied taking a deep breath and checking the time. "I saw her at the cemetery a few weeks back but I didn't say anything." 

"You should. Maybe you can talk about him or something because if anyone else knows what it's like, she will." 

Steve nodded and pulled back onto the road with a twisted feeling in his gut as he continued towards Robin's but before he let her get out he thanked her to which she replied with another apology. One she refused to take back before closing the door and heading inside. For a moment he sat there with one of those headaches you get after crying a little too hard and thought about all the what-ifs he usually did late into the night but this time it was focused on Robin and the group. 

What if Billy had known about everything before he was flayed? What if he had joined the group in fighting that thing and survived to hang out with him and Robin? What if he had the chance to get out of Hawkins like he always talked about instead of being stuck? But the worst one he always brushed off was, what if they had never met at the Quarry that night in February and shared a cigarette over an understanding conversation that led to spontaneous sex on the 3rd of March after he went in for a kiss after Billy turned up at his house late at night? What if they hadn't whispered I love you under the covers of Steve's sheets on the 12th of May? What if this tight painful clutch those moments had on Steve's heart had never happened? 

Except, Steve knew he would rather deal with the pain than have never gone through what now caused it. The happy moments which were bittersweet in the present, memories of the past he clung to. He knew that if he could go back, he'd do it all again without hesitating because missing Billy Hargrove was better than having never known him in the first place.