#but both are starting off with basic clinical practices

[bbyboybucket]

I’m starting all the big girl stuff and learning how to do diagnostics and treatment methods. Way to make me equally terrified and excited 🥲

[harryspet]

Fic or Drabble whichever you wanna do.

Dark bsf Rafe taking advantage of vulnerable pregnant reader. Maybe her parents kicked her out? Or her baby daddy left her. Or whatever u see fit.

(Sorry if that sucks I just love ur work sm 🩷)

homestead | r. cameron [p.1]

[warnings] dark!rafe cameron x pregnant!reader, farmer!rafe, pogue!reader, implied jj x reader, kidnapping, future NONCON/DUBCON, little editing, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK 18+

word count: 3.6k

In which you reach rock bottom after JJ gets arrested and your first love returns to save the day.

main masterlist

A boy. 

You looked down at your eighteen-week ultrasound picture and smiled weekly. You and JJ were having a baby boy, and you’d found out completely by yourself. Pope had offered a million times to attend one of your appointments, practically begging a few times because he didn’t want you to go alone. You always rejected him, as the idea of going with someone else never felt right. 

The Heyward’s had already done so much for you by letting you live in their spare bedroom for, basically, your entire pregnancy. No matter how much Pope tried to tell you that they didn’t mind at all, you saw in their eyes that the last person they wanted their son to be friends with was JJ Maybank’s baby mama. You promised them you’d be able to save enough money to get your own place by the end of your pregnancy. 

So far, your day job at a retail clothing store and the late shift you worked as a waitress at The Wreck made you enough to keep you afloat. Pregnancy check-ups and ultrasounds were an expense you weren’t initially expecting and you hated that you were contemplating skipping the next few visits to save money. Besides that, appointments meant you couldn’t work and you needed all the hours you could get. 

The picture reminded you of how much hard work was left, but the feelings were bittersweet. You were so excited to meet your little boy, no matter how small he was at the moment. If JJ’s case would move a little bit faster through the system, he could be there for the big day too. Everyone in Kildare was biased against him, knowing his father too well, and you knew the system would be biased against him as well.  

You were grateful for Pope and for knowing someone else loved JJ as much as you did. JJ wasn’t hard to love, but he was a complicated person, and your relationship seemed to bring out the darkest parts of him. Pope saw his dark side, but …he wasn’t there the night he got arrested. 

You didn’t know someone could yell so loud or be so angry. The two of you were living with his Dad, and the first few months were relatively peaceful, mostly because Luke would usually go out at night, get wasted, and crash on some other part of the island. You and JJ usually played house, taking turns making dinner for each other and sleeping together side by side. 

A week before you realized you were pregnant, Luke came around asking JJ for money that JJ “owed” him, and of course, JJ refused him. You knew he’d been saving for months to take you off the island for your birthday, and he wasn’t giving that up. The fight escalated, with both sides verbally tearing each other down. As soon as Luke mentioned JJ’s mother, there was no stopping JJ. 

The fight had already moved from the bedroom to the kitchen to the porch, and then the men wrestled in the yard. JJ would’ve killed Luke if the police hadn’t come. When he got taken away in cuffs, he was a bloody, swollen mess that you didn’t even recognize. 

It became even messier when Luke decided to press charges against his own son even though they’d both been arrested. You then decided that Luke Maybank was heartless and wouldn’t ever see what you saw in his son. 

It was the weekend, your one day off, and you’d chosen to spend most of it walking to the nearby department store after your trip to the clinic. The Heyward’s wanted to spend the day out on the water but rides on the boat were starting to make you extremely sick. Besides that, you hated fishing and It was one of the hotter days of summer but you’d chosen a lightweight t-shirt dress. Well, dresses were starting to be the only thing that you fit correctly with your growing stomach. 

You tucked the picture you were holding into your purse as you made your way inside. For the past month, you’d been working up the courage to go down the baby aisles. Yet another thing that felt completely wrong doing without JJ. Cara had also offered to help buy you things but you told her every time that you were waiting until you were closer to your due date. You’d hold off from nesting until you were sure that JJ wasn’t getting out. 

Slowly, you looked over every item. Cribs, diapers, breast pumps, baby formula, bottle warmers, and bibs. It was all so overwhelming and you knew getting everything would be expensive but the price tag didn’t quite register to you until now. You had no idea how you were going to pay rent one day and afford all of the things your baby needed. 

You picked up the cutest crib mobile decorated with rocket ships, stars, and planets, and your heart skipped when you realized it was over a hundred dollars. You’d have to work an entire shift to earn that. 

“Y/N?” 

You turned towards the deep voice and the mobile tumbled from your hands, “Shit,” You cursed as you went down with it, hoping you hadn’t broken it because you couldn’t afford to buy it. Rafe Cameron pushed his cart to the side and hurried to help you, “I got it,” You said quickly as you turned away, handing it back on its display. 

Then you really looked at him. The boy you’d been so obsessed with in highschool was not a boy. His light brown hair was longer than you remembered but was tamed by a baseball cap. His white t-shirt and jeans didn’t match the version of him you had in your head, but, honestly, he looked better than you remembered. 

He smiled, rubbing the stubble on his face, as he seemed to take you in. If Rafe looked ten times better, you probably looked ten times worse than you used to. You felt huge although people just started taking note of your bump a couple weeks ago and your hair was messily gathered away from your face. Your dress was not name brand, in fact, you remembered buying it from the exact store you were standing in and you wore boots that used to belong to JJ now that your feet were starting to swell. 

“Hey,” He said.

You breathed out, “Hi.”

“Congratulations,” Rafe glanced at your belly and you wanted to crawl inside your own skin, “I guess?”

“Thanks,” You nodded, “It’s . . . complicated.”

The sad part about being pregnant, unmarried, with your child’s father sitting in jail was that people had no idea what to say to you. 

“How are you?” He asked after you went silent.

“I’m good,” You forced a smile, “How are you?”

“Better now that I’ve ran into you,” His smirk was the exact same as you remembered, “You shopping for the little one?”

“Browsing,” You said, “Didn’t quite realize how expensive all this stuff is.”

You looked at him for understanding before you remembered you were talking to – Kildare’s richest bad boy, “You still keep all your little friends around?”

“Yeah, we’re all a bit spread out now, though. I’m staying with the Heyward’s right now.”

You weren’t quite sure why you were exposing your life to him, but part of you wanted him to know that you were fine, that you had made the right decision choosing JJ over him, and that you were still figuring out life, but you’d be happy. 

“Oh, so it’s Pope’s baby?” The smug look on his face made you realize he was teasing you. 

“You know exactly whose baby it is, Rafe,” You shot back, your eyes rolling back.

You turned to walk away but he grabbed you by your arm, “Y/N, I’m kidding. I’m kidding. I’m sorry, Honey.”

You quickly pulled your arm away from him, folding your arms in front of your chest. You looked over his cart, seeing it was filled with miscellaneous things, but the only thing you could recognize was a massive back of dog food, “You got a dog?”

 “A few,” he said, placing his hands in his back pockets, “I use ‘em for animal herding. Wrangler, Sadie, and a few puppies.”

“Animal herding?”

“Yeah, I got this place on the mainland. I just came through to see Wheezie. I promised she could have one of the puppies before I sold the others.”

“You got a place on the mainland?” Your eyebrows raised, and you tried to keep your mouth from gaping, “Puppies?”

He nodded, laughing lightly, “Had to get my shit together after I got out of rehab and living with my Dad and Rose, it was just never good for me. Still working for him, but I’m just better on my own, you know?”

“I didn’t know you went to rehab,” You said quietly, still trying to process the information he was relaying. 

“A few times to be honest but I’ve been clean for a year,” He admitted while looking a bit closer at you, “Is there anything you need right now? I can help.”

“No, I couldn’t let you do that,” You shook your head quickly, “I’m fine.”

“You never like to accept help, do you?”

“I don’t need anything right now,” You assured him. 

“Hmm,” Rafe huffed, “Can I at least give you a ride, Y/N?”

“How do you know I don’t have one?” 

He gave you a knowing look that made you want to punch him. He was new and improved Rafe, but he was still an asshole, “Well, I also came to look for a new living room rug, and I could use a woman’s perspective. Help me, and I’ll give you a ride back to the Heyward’s.” 

“Whatever,” You shrugged before you began walking, “Fine.”

In his eyes, you could tell he thought he’d won. 

This was so wrong. So, so wrong. JJ would kill you. JJ would kill him. This wasn’t high school anymore, and you weren’t the insecure girl vying for the rich bad boy’s attention. Besides that, you’d always been an option for Rafe. JJ always chose you despite where you came from; now you might have a real chance of having a family. 

You blamed the way your body heated up when he spoke your name on your racing hormones and on the fact that you’d been separated from JJ for months. 

Rafe said he only came to main island to visit Wheezie, but as the weeks passed, you realized he’d found a new reason to visit. At least two times a week, he came in to the Wreck to order food and talk to you. Not only that, he practically texted you daily checking in on you. 

“Why the sudden change?” You asked him one night when closing time was closely approaching and you’d served all your tables, “I mean, I know you hated JJ but I didn’t think it would get in the way of, you know, us.”

“It’s my biggest regret after getting to know you again,” He admitted and the look in his eyes made your heart sink, “But I didn’t really know what I was doing when I was younger. I was so stupid, all I cared about was getting my Dad’s approval and I spiraled when that inevitably didn’t happen.” 

He had a way of making you question all of your own decisions. 

“Ward definitely wouldn’t approve of me now.”

“I told you I don’t care what he thinks.”

“Or what the entirety of Figure 8 will think?”

“Not at all,” He said.

“I care what my friends think.”

“You’re different than them now,” Rafe reached across the table to grab ahold of your hand as his blue eyes stared deeply into your eyes, “You have a great responsibility on your shoulders now. You have to do what’s best for you and the baby. That’s it, fuck what they think.”

“They do want the best for me,” You whispered, tears stinging your eyes.

“They want JJ for you. And he’s sitting in jail right now.”

You pulled your hand away, looking out the onto the dock and dark water. 

“You don’t even know how you should be treated,” Rafe said mostly to himself.

“What does that mean?”

“It means–” He stopped himself, but his skin was flushed with red and you sensed he was calming himself down, “I just think you deserve better.”

“And you’re going to walk into my life after all these years and save me? I can do this by myself.”

“You shouldn’t have to,” Rafe leaned in, “JJ’s going to get out but things aren’t going to get better.”

“Why would you say that?”

“It’s true, he’s a fuckup. He won’t get a good job and there’s a good chance he’ll go right back,” That tipped you over the edge and your chair scraped loudy on the ground as you stood up, ‘“I’m sorry. Look, I’m sorry. I can drive you home.”

“Pope is coming to get me.”

You didn’t spare him a second look as you walked to the back of the kitchen. Until now, he’d refrained from putting all the weight of his judgement on you but you knew all a long he thought you were making a mistake. He’d been through a lot but he’d never struggled like you and JJ had. At the end of the day, he’d always had Ward’s money to fall back on. 

He just hated JJ and he was doing his best to get in between the two of you. 

Two weeks later, you were standing outside the Kildare County Jail, not because you were visiting JJ but because he was being released. Luke dropped the charges against him, and they released lower offenders due to overcrowding. You watched a few reunifications and waited on a cold bench in the lobby; blue hydrangeas in a small bouquet sat neatly in your lap. Your dress was also blue and printed with daisies. He had no idea the two of you were having a boy, and it was your sweet idea of telling him. 

You’d blocked Rafe’s number just that morning after ignoring his messages and calls. He was wrong. Even if he was calling to tell you that, you didn’t want to hear it. They never specified how long it would take to process him but you started to doze off after waiting for two hours. An officer in beige uniform tapped your shoulder lightly to wake you.

You were still hopeful and you expected to see JJ right behind him, “Hello, ma’am. Unfortunately JJ Maybank cannot be released today.”

“What?” Your eyes widened, “Uhm, why?”

“I was informed that additional charges have been filed against him.”

“What do you mean additional charges?” You asked, concern raising in your tone, “Who can I talk to?”

You when through every channel of communication possible, searching for answers. They couldn’t possibly expect you to leave like nothing happened. You found out from another officer, after heavy begging, that they filed another battery charge against him involving another inmate. Somehow, in the two days that he knew he was getting out he managed to catch another charge. 

“Could I at least visit him?” You’d asked and they told you he was in a segregated unit now and not allowed visits. 

You felt your heart physically break. When it fully started to sink in, you left to get fresh air. You walked for a long while until you started to panic. You sat down on the edge of the sidewalk and through teary eyes you tried to search for Pope’s number. What would you do now? Go back to the Heywards and continue to accept their charity? You were kidding yourself thinking you could do this alone. 

It felt like a rejection. You’d never had a real family. JJ knew that and yet he’d left you all alone again. 

You let your phone fall to the side, deciding you wanted to be miserable by yourself and you didn’t want to burden his family any longer. You threw the flowers into the street before your head fell in your hands and you finally let yourself cry for the first time since JJ had gone away. 

The bouquet you’d carefully put together lay discarded in the street and you had no care about the mud that was probably staining your dress now. Just as your chest started to tighten unbearably, you heard the low rumble of car engine and a shadow seemed to drape itself over you. You heard someone calling you, telling you to breathe, but your body wouldn’t obey the instructions. 

Your baby needs you to take a breath, you told yourself but the thought of your baby only made your guilt worsen, “I’ve got you,” You heard that familiar voice say. Being in his arms was far from familiar but your body didnt protest when it felt itself lifted in the air and placed on soft leather. 

The next time you looked up, you felt the car moving, and you saw the sun setting through the window. You felt a hand on your thigh rubbing soothing circles but you felt more paralyze than anything, “Try to take deep breaths,”  You heard him say but your body wasn’t yours to control, “Everything’s gonna be okay now. I’m going to take care of the two of you.” 

You were not in the squeaky twin bed at the Heyward’s house when your eyes peeled open the next morning and you realized that quickly. You saw wooden beams overhead and walls painted a soft cream color. You turned your head to see sunlight coming through lace-curtained windows. As fast as you could move with the extra weight, you pushed the comforter off of you and moved over to the window. It offered a view of rolling fields and distant trees, the greenery stretching as far as your eyes could see.

Looking back around the room, you saw a sturdy, antique bed with wooden nightstands on either side. A handmade quilt with vibrant patches of red and blue sat on top of the bed. Plush pillows piled at the head of the bed. On top of one nightstand was a well-worn book and a framed photo of younger Rafe with a blonde woman beside him. 

On the other nightstand was a vase of freshly picked wildflowers. You remembered your blue hydrangeas, and yesterday’s events came flooding back to you, “Fuck,” You cursed, and your eyes found the bedroom door. Before thinking about walking towards the door, you caught a glimpse of yourself in the large mirror, sitting on top of a wooden dresser. You were dressed in a white silk pajama top and bottoms, a tiny sliver of your belly poked out the bottom of the shirt, but otherwise, they fit you perfectly. All you could do was curse, “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

You moved quickly towards the door, but it opened before you grabbed the handle. You covered your mouth as a shriek left your lips.

Despite your startled appearance, Rafe appeared calm. His hair looked like it had just woken him up, and he wore a simple T-shirt and gym shorts. He closed the door behind him, acting as another barrier to your escape, “What the fuck, Rafe?”

He shushed you, “You need to stay calm,” He warned you, “There’s no point in getting riled up.”

“I was having a panic attack and . . . and you–”

“You needed to get away,” He raised his hands as if to show he wouldn’t cause you harm, “I took you home with me.”

“You took me home with you?” You spoke back to him, “I have a home. Why didn’t you take me back to the Heyward’s?”

“That’s not your home, Honey, and you know that.” 

You shook your head, “You don’t get to decide that. Where’s my phone?”

“It’s wherever you left it,” Rafe shrugged, “You know, when you were having a panic attack on the side of the road. Alone and pregnant with absolutely no one looking out for you. Imagine if it wasn’t me who found you.” 

Rafe looked annoyed like it was you who was crazy in this scenario. You tried to ignore the thought of him undressing you and putting you in these new clothes. The idea of that became harder as you watched his eyes trail from your feet, higher and higher, “Jesus Christ, you don’t even know how precious you are,” He came closer until you were stumbling back onto the bed, “I want you to stay here with me.”

“And if I don’t want the same?” You looked up at him. 

“I’ll let you think it over. Give it some time,” He nodded to himself, “Are you hungry?”

You didn’t answer, only stared back, “I’ll make you something. I’ll be right back.”

He turned on his heel, and as you realized what he was doing, you hurried after him. He closed the door, and as you furiously turned the knob, you realized he’d locked it, “Rafe!” You screamed as you pounded on the door, “Rafe, please don’t do this!”

You felt your tough exterior melt away. This was serious. He was completely serious about keeping you here. 

You rushed over to the windows next, throwing open the curtains, and found that they didn’t budge even as you pushed at them. You kept yourself from another panic attack, knowing that Pope would be looking for you right now. You never told him about Rafe … you were so concerned about him judging you that you next rold him. But if someone found your phone, they would know … but you had no idea what really happened to it.

As you started to pace, you suddenly felt a fluttering sensation. You stopped as you felt a tiny kick inside of you, an unmistakable movement that echoed throughout your whole body. Gently, you caressed your stomach. “I hear you,” you said through heavy breaths as your eyes moved around the room. It’s okay. I’ll figure this out. Don’t worry.”

Please let me know what your thoughts and predictions are! Reblog with a comment to be added to my taglist!

[octalarium]

new fundraising post

the other one was getting confusing i think.

tldr: disabled (unemployable) british trans masc seeking private hormones. need of a minimum of £575 on gfm before the start of may in order to get just a diagnosis. £880 would allow me to start hormones. anything more protects me for longer. just under £2,500 would protect me for 2 years.

gfm: https://gofund.me/14fe333d

redbubble: https://www.redbubble.com/people/spearheadprints/shop

long version of my story below.

the long version

i'm a disabled british trans masc currently in university. my doctor told me i was put on the NHS gender clinic wait list in april 2019, but the GP practice never actually forwarded my referral to the clinic. i found out at the start of 2024. i am unable to re-obtain my original place as the referral was never sent (tavistock does honour original referrals if you can prove your GP sent it - i can't).

my disabilities mean i cannot work a "typical" job (as in retail, serving, basic office job) and i'm still working through getting onto Personal Independence Payment (disability benefit). i have no source of income except for Employment and Support Allowance, which is covering my basic living expenses.

my dysphoria has been getting worse over the last 5-10 years, and i fear i wont survive the current NHS waiting list of more than 5 years. in the best scenario, i won't have my first NHS GIC appointment until 2029. but the political climate in the uk is shifting - rapidly - and in 5 years there may not even be an NHS gender care pathway.

i want to have been on hormones for one year by the time i graduate university in 2027. i am going to have to go private: both to achieve this goal, and because i do not think i can survive waiting after already having been in survival mode for 5 years.

as i write this, the gofundme sits at £495. i have been adding my own contributions to the GFM where i can, but these are few and far between. my most recent addition of £200 was only possible thanks to backpay of my ESA and will not be repeatable.

if i want to have been on testosterone for one year by 2027, i need to start it in 2026. the waiting times at the private clinics (one for diagnostic, one for hormone issuing) are not specifically published but HSGC (diagnostic) say 8-12 weeks and GHC (hormones) say there's a 2-5 week wait between initial appointment and first follow up. 17 weeks (worst case) is just under 4 months - meaning i should try to get my first appointment in September 2025 at the latest. but these times haven't been updated in a while and i can see them rising along with uk transphobia, so i've set a deadline of May 2025 in order to cushion any delays.

i get sent the gfm money on the first of every month. meaning for it to be in my account by the start of may, i need to hit at least £575 on the GFM by April 30th. then i would need to hit £880 to actually get the hormones (that covers their initial appointment plus one month's prescription). i also dont get 100% of the donation from GFM - they have fees per donation plus take a percentage off the top. so the number on GFM would need to be just a little bit higher than these numbers.

i also set up a redbubble shop, but it might be too little too late. they only send money once you cross a threshold of £20 profit (i only get 25% of the listed price of an item!) but it is an option for you if a flat donation isn't enough of an incentive for you. i dont have much on there currently because uni work has been getting in the way.

i dont remember how quick RB is at issuing funds, but i'm gonna say the last effective date for RB purchases to help with the initial barrier is also April 30th. i'll be adding any profit i get from redbubble as personal contributions on the GFM for the sake of transparency.

i am running out of time. sharing helps just as much as donating.

[darthannie]

Raymond Leon NSF/W Alphabet

a/n: written from a “x f!reader” perspective. @lau219 requested this and thank you SO much for doing so. Smut under the cut!

AFTERCARE, what they’re like after sex

He’s quite doting but in a clinical way. He wants to make sure all of your needs are met first before he takes you in his arms and holds you. If you’re in bed he’s inclined to cuddle until one of you has to leave. To calm himself down after particularly intense moments, he likes to talk to you. He never has anything to say, but hearing your voice soothes him more than anything else could.

BODY PART, their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s

His favorite part of his body are his hands. His favorite part of your body is your hips, especially when he’s able to grab onto them. More specifically the part of your body that hinges when you bend over. He likes grabbing there a lot.

CUM, anything to do with cum, basically

He loves cumming inside you. It makes him feel closer to you. He feels deeply satisfied watching it drip out of you. He likes pushing it back in with his fingers and slowly pressing himself back inside you just to do it all over again.

DIRTY SECRET, pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs

He likes snooping around your underwear. Clean. Dirty. He’ll pick out his favorites for you to wear for him on special occasions. 

EXPERIENCE, how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?

Oh, he knows what he’s doing. When he was younger he was out a lot more, and more bold. Now, he’s settled down into his life. And with you in it, he feels truly alive again. He's putting all his experience into practice with you. And yet, he still learns new things with you all the time.

FAVORITE POSITION, this goes without saying

Anything that ends with you bending over. Doggy, standing, anything as long as you’re folded over and ready for him. The feeling of him pushing up against you makes him want to never stop. His favorite part is grabbing your wrists and pinning them to your back or your sides as he thrusts into you relentlessly. 

GOOFY, are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.

He’s rarely in the mood for a laugh and that is no different when he’s ready to do it with you. It’s a very serious endeavor for him. Especially when he decided to take your relationship seriously. Every time he has sex with you it feels like he’s on a mission to make you (and himself) feel as good as possible. 

HAIR, how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.

He keeps himself clean and trimmed. He’s quite particular about it and always has been.

INTIMACY, how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect

He can come off as pretty intense. It’s rarely lighthearted. The first time the two of you had sex was after months of seeing each other. He didn’t want to open himself up to someone until he was sure about him (his time is valuable to him and he didn't do much other than work).

JACK OFF, masturbation headcanon

He rarely does. The only times he finds his hand drifting down, down, down is when you’re away from him for too long. He starts slow and steady before losing himself in the moment. He grunts, moans, and bites his fist. He gasps as he cums all over himself and then gets annoyed that you're not there to help him clean up.

KINK, one or more of their kinks

He loves impact play and leaving marks. He makes you count out the times he spanks you. When you’re on your knees for him, he likes to give you light slaps on your face, enticing you to open up for him. He only gets rough and leaves marks when you let him. You have tiny welts where he lightly broke skin with his teeth. They’re only in places for you and him to see so you have little reminders of what he's done to you. They make both of you blush. He also has a slight breeding kink, mainly just so that you know that your his. 

LOCATION, favorite places to do the do

The bathroom. Not elaborating. Next question. 

MOTIVATION, what turns them on, gets them going

He loves it when you stroke the nape of his neck. It’s a simple, comforting gesture that reminds him to relax every once in a while. When you’re alone, he often uses it as an excuse to kiss your wrist, which turns into a kiss of your palm, and then a kiss on countless other places on your body.

NO, something they wouldn’t do, turn offs

He does not like it or find it endearing when you feign needy or act cutesy. He usually just rolls his eyes and ignores you. He can tell when you’re using it against him to rile him up. He’ll admit, he likes that part. 

ORAL, preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.

He loves feeling your lips around him. It’s his favorite form of stress relief. He’s good at giving head but it makes him nervous. Even after all his years, he still wants to make sure he’s “doing it right”. 

PACE, are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.

It depends on his mood. Hard day at work? Feeling unfulfilled? He’s going to use that as an excuse to fuck you relentlessly. However, he’s really good at noticing what your needs are, and sometimes you don’t want hard and fast. He loves taking his time to notice small things about you. He watches how your eyes squeeze shut as he enters you and how you run your fingers through his hair to pull him in...

QUICKIE, their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.

He’s not opposed to them, but due to the nature of his job that’s all he has time for sometimes. He’d much rather lose sleep while fucking you properly at night instead of just finishing for the sake of finishing. 

RISK, are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.

He usually likes to stick to what he’s used to, but sometimes you bring new things out of him and push him to his limits. He finds it liberating. He gives into the darker sides of him and it brings the two of you closer together.  

STAMINA, how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?

There are days where he feels he can fuck you for hours. The most you two have gone was three rounds but he made you cum five times. You were spent.

TOYS, do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?

He doesn’t own any. He finds them frivolous and would much rather have the real thing. 

UNFAIR, how much they like to tease

The only time he teases is when he takes his sweet time with you. He smiles at your reactions and how genuinely you need him. It makes him feel wanted.

VOLUME, how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.

He keeps it quiet for the most part. When he's about to cum he gets louder. His moans are soft and quiet. He saves his sweet nothings for afterwards.

WILD CARD, a random headcanon for the character

More fluffy than anything, but you make him want to quit his job. He’s devoted so much of his life to his work, he wonders what it would be like without it.

X-RAY, let’s see what’s going on under those clothes

He’s not one for showing himself off, but he knows how much you love his body. Lean, toned, and absolutely gorgeous. He's decently sized, more than enough for you to choke on and make you feel full.

YEARNING, how high is their sex drive?

Sex isn't his top priority ever really. However, he adores you and a kiss is enough to get him going. He adores you and you genuinely are the light of his life.

Zzz, how quickly they fall asleep afterwards

It doesn’t take him long to fall asleep afterwards. His days are exhausting, so falling asleep after isn’t an issue. He loves to wrap himself around you. He puts his guard down when he's in bed with you and he feels completely at peace.

[spectres-n-soap]

Times Long Since Past - Soap x You x Ghost

Content Warnings - Angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, therapy, pregnancy

A/N - Not gonna lie when I say I nearly cried writing this part.

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

The therapy office was located in a strip mall that had obviously once been a 1950s era housing estate in the past. You glance around the parking lot before Simon places a hand on your shoulder and pulls you from whatever pit you were trying to sink into. “Don’t stress.” He mutters and you roll your eyes.

“When in the history of the world did that ever make someone not stress?” You ask and he shakes his head but you can see his eyes crinkle just slightly. You sigh and look at the general area where the office was as your hand rests on your stomach. “Do you really think this will help?”

Simon nods, “It helps.” You sigh again before you nod and begin walking towards the office. A bell jingles over the door when you enter the office, Simon not far behind you and keeps the door open for you so it doesn’t bang into you. The receptionist smiles at you, a well practiced kind smile as she gestures for you to come forward. The waiting room was comfortable, only one other person sat in one of the chairs mindlessly flipping through the magazines. 

“Name?” The woman asks and you try not to let the happiness in her voice grate on your soul. Would you be happy like her again? You give her your name and she nods as she types it into the computer, “Date of birth?” You mindlessly rattle it off and give her the time of your appointment (in fifteen minutes) and she smiles at you, “Alright, if you could fill out these forms,” She passes the forms on a clipboard with a pen. “And take a seat. The doctor will be with you shortly.”

You waddle over to the nearest seat and sit down before you start to fill out the form. Its basic questions and you recognize them all from your psych evals in the military. You bite your cheek before you begin to fill them out truthfully. When you finish, you hand the clipboard back to the receptionist and sit back down. 

The therapist is nice. Clinically nice. You want to scream and rage as he calmly asks questions about what brought you here. His voice is perfectly level and you can’t even use it as an excuse for the reason you think he’s judging you. “It's not my job to judge, it's my job to help.” He says when you hesitate to answer.

“I lost someone very close to me.” You answer, picking over the words carefully because you and Johnny hadn’t put a label on it before he had died. Your stomach lurches at that sudden thought and you squeeze your hands into fists. 

“I see. Was this person the father of your child?” He asks and you nod tightly. The thought still leaves an awful taste in your mouth.

“He died in action.” You take in a shaky breath, “He didn’t even know.”

“Let's start there. If at any moment you feel uncomfortable we can stop this session.”

You leave not feeling better or worse but like a small weight had been lifted from your chest. As you walk back out into the waiting room with the therapist, talking about the date of your next appointment you see Simon. You freeze, having totally forgotten he had promised to wait for you the entire time. He inclines his head at you and you're brought crashing back into reality. 

You climb into his car and as he turns it on he offers to buy some lunch. “Got any cravings?”

“I’m pregnant. Of course I have cravings.” You grumble, “Mexican food. From this little hole in the wall place.” He hands you his phone, which is all kinds of busted up but the screen still works so he hasn’t replaced it yet, for you to type the address into.

You take a seat at one of the outside tables and a young man hands you both a small menu. The smell from inside the restaurant makes your stomach rumble and apparently the baby is into the smell too because they kick at your stomach. Hard.

You wince and bow your head a little as you hiss out a “ Fuck. ” You don’t see the way panic shoots through Simon but you feel his hand grab yours. You don’t pull away.

“Are you okay? Are you in pain?” He asks and you shake your head.

“The baby just decided to do some kickboxing, no big deal.” You let out a tight laugh that hardly seems to convince Simon. “Simon, I’ll tell you if it hurts okay? Promise.” Those words seem to put at ease and the arrival of your waiter draws attention from the way his ears turn pink.

Lunch is quiet between the two of you after that moment partially helped by the way you sort of shovel the food into your mouth. You can’t help the small moan that leaves you as you bite into enchilada and Simon coughs on the sweet soda he had been drinking.

You and Simon arrive back at your flat, takeout box in hand because your eyes were bigger than your stomach and you had ordered another enchilada and he places it in your fridge as you settle down onto the couch. Exhaustion pulls at you despite the good sleep you had gotten last night and you hardly notice when Simon places the throw blanket on your lap.

“You know… you still have some gifts to open.” Simon mutters and you look at him with bleary eyes and make a noise of confusion before you look at what he has in his hands. The gifts from the MacTavish family. Your stomach sinks and your throat closes up at the sight. You sniffle but reach for one of the soft green green eyes.

Inside the first one is a little soft green dinosaur onesie and a few baby books. One of the books has a couple of lullabies and nursery rhymes. The other is easy recipes to make during the first couple months with the baby. More onesies in the next one, soft blues, pinks and yellows, a teddy bear and a card with a heartfelt message from his sisters. Of course a few items such as a milk pump and a diaper bag are already filled to the brim with items.

Just as you think you’ve finished opening everything, Simon hands you a card and one more bag. “The cards from Mrs. MacTavish, the bag is from me.” He clarifies although he really didn’t need to. The bag was a soft gray. You open his gift first and genuinely laugh when it's a onesie with little skulls. You shake your head at his gift before you set it to the side. You carefully pull the card from the envelope it was in and open it. A couple pictures fall onto your lap but you read the message first.

My bairn was a lot of trouble during those first few months. I hope yours doesn’t come with the same mischief for the sake of both of you. I know there is nothing I can say to ease the pain or the hole that Johnny left in you but you’re not alone. You’ve been given a beautiful gift whether he knew it or not. You’ll always have a piece of my wee boy and you’ll always be welcome in my home. I’ve made a few copies of pictures of when Johnny was a wee bairn for you. Welcome to the MacTavish family.

You glance down at the pictures, tears in your eyes as you look through them. You couldn’t help the small laugh that left you at one of the pictures. Chubby baby Johnny pouting in his chosen outfit but the others make tears fall from your eyes. You rub your thumb over one of the photos of him smiling up at the camera, chubby hands holding his foot up.

[grannanna]

In Defense of Carlotta

So I was rewatching the Royal Albert Hall version of POTO and I kinda came to a realization: Carlotta didn’t entirely deserve what was going on.

I’m not saying she wasn’t a jerk. She is a primadonna for crying out loud. She’s got the ego of a peacock, but she’s still human.

At the beginning of the musical during her rendition of Think of Me and the bit between that version and Christine’s version, she gets attacked by the phantom. Of course everyone knows it’s the phantom but the managers all kinda just blow it off. We see her get upset and leave the opera cause she’s pissed.

You could frame this as her being a perfectionist OR you could see this as a woman finally breaking after years of abuse from a ghost of a man.

She says that “for three years these things keep happening” and that the previous manager never did anything to stop them. He simply paid the phantom and then kept casting her in the lead roles.

The phantom wants two things and that is to get Christine on stage and then into his arms. So, he sees Carlotta as an obstacle and has probably been attacking her for all those three years.

And what happens when she complains? When she gets scared and looks for someone to aid her? She gets either one of two responses:

The person is too scared of the opera ghost to do anything.

The person doesn’t believe in the opera ghost and acts like she’s crazy.

Both result in someone telling her “these things do happen.”

So can you blame her for leaving after she got close to dying AGAIN?

And then less than a week after leaving she finds out that they replaced her already? After all that talk about how she was the best of the best, the crème de la crème, her years and years of training, they replace her. And not only do they replace her, but they replace her with practically a teenager who has been getting trained by the very man that keeps trying to murder her?!

No wonder she was so angry when she stormed into the letters scene! Those she trusted had replaced her, sent her a taunting note, and then had the gall to ask her to come back!

I think this also recontextualizes the majority of Primadonna. These jerks are asking her to come back and of course she’s hesitant, she doesn’t wanna get almost assassinated again, but that tiny bit of vanity and pride comes up in the back of her mind.

Furthermore her “public needs” her. This could be the pride but I like to imagine her thinking of a little girl in that audience that wants nothing more than to be like her. Music was one of the only arts and ways to make money open to women at the time. Shes an example of how women can be independent in this world.

And ya know what? This man is trying to ruin her life. He doesn’t know her, but he keeps tryin to intimidate her and make her give up on something she clearly has a passion for. If you watch the recording of the 25th anniversary version of Primadonna, after the phantom gives his good ol “imma mess up the show” threat, she cocks her head and gives a little smirk. Shes saying “screw you. I worked hard for this. I spent years of my life, hours of my time, all of my energy, to be the best of the best and not you nor any spooky ghost can stop me!”

In the next opera, Carlotta and Christine are clearly having fun playing opposite each other. You could argue that this was just for the opera to go well, but I can tell you as an ex-actress myself that feelings towards your cast mates can get past you and the audience will see it.

(For instance, in high school I was playing opposite a guy I had a crush on and he had a crush on me, so when we went to a clinic (judges giving you advice on your show before competition) the judge basically told us to decide whether or not our characters liked each other or not cause it was making it too complicated for the stage. (For context we were playing Jo and Laurie. Laurie likes Jo, Jo doesn’t like him like that) Once the play was over we started dating. TLDR the audience will know if actors do or don’t like each other)

So Christine and Carlotta are having a good time because I think Carlotta realizes this isn’t Christine’s fault. Someone was going to have to take on the roll and it gave this young artist a start. Plus, it’s not Christine’s fault the Phantom became obsessed with her. He could have chosen literally anyone and Christine just happened to be the (un)lucky girl. I don’t see any evidence of Carlotta holding any grudges against Christine in this scene.

Also, this is just a minor thing, but I think that this was the right casting for this specific opera. Carlotta is much more voluptuous than Christine. She can’t exactly Mulan herself but Christine is younger and smaller and therefore can. This isn’t a talent thing this is basic casting. The entire opera is more important than the phantoms obsession. Also, the page boy is still a good role! If anything it seems like a pivotal role that just happens to be a mute one! The phantom should be excited that they’re not just throwing Christine back to the ballet dancers!

And then, when everything is going well, when she thinks that maybe the opera ghost has given up, that terrible voice announces that she and the mangers have pissed him off. You can see in her face she’s trying to be strong but she is scared. Shes not angry. She’s not petty. She’s scared.

She only gets mad at Christine when she reacts to the phantom. Yeah she acts like a jerk, calling her a toad. But the man trying to kill her is talking and the girl he is obsessed with his looking around for her “angel” which is Carlotta’s angel of death. So she’s gonna get mad. She’s gonna yell at Christine even during the show cause that’s her only outlet at the moment.

I would like to note here that that is a dick move on Carlotta’s part. However, we just had the two having a good time and we don’t know for sure that Carlotta didn’t apologize afterwards. We have a whole time skip between acts. The two could have made up.

But back to the show, the phantom seems to magically curse her to croak like a toad. In the version I saw in high school she took a sip of water that had something the phantom put in it to make her croak, but in the 25th version, you don’t see that. For all she knows this is no longer just a creepy guy but a literal ghost that just cursed her to sound like a frog! Getting rid of the thing she holds most dear! Her voice! No wonder she’s scared! Hell she starts crying! And Christine even tries to comfort her! Further proving that Christine is an angel and that the two could have developed somewhat of a working friendship/relationship.

And in her moment of terror what do the managers do? They replace her again! After all that talk about how they needed her the minute she becomes an obstacle they throw her out of the way.

She probably doesn’t have any time to process that before seeing that the phantom ACTUALLY KILLED SOMEONE! Any of that little hope she had that it was all just threats and taunts is out the window when the master of the fly ACTUALLY DIES! Hes killed and the phantom laughs and parades the corpse around like a piñata!

After that he manages to make a giant chandelier explode?!? If Carlotta doesn’t think that the phantom is an actual ghost before then she does now!

But a long while later, everything seems to go back to normal. We don’t know what happens in the meantime but we skip ahead to Carlotta managing to attend a masquerade party back at the opera. She’s all in black and back in her “don’t f with me I have the power of god and opera music on my side” vibes.

She doesn’t get much screen time here but we get three major lines from her.

“What a delight”

“Watching us and watching them”

“May its splendor never fade”

And “no more notes”

We can glean three things from this. Life has been good. The ghost has finally left her alone, and she’s got her art back. Her passion back! And I like to headcannon that she’s become a better person in this time and that’s why she’s dressed like she is.

If she was really still vain and conceited, she’d be wearing the most elegant angelic or queen-like dress she could find, but she’s instead a witch.

She’s dressed as who she used to be. She may have evolved and come to terms with sharing the spotlight hence why she says “watching US” She’s in a better place now that death isn’t breathing down her neck.

(Unrelated but also anyone notice Madame Giry with a young handsome dude? Is Giry a cougar and we just never noticed?)

And then, as everything is going good again, THE PHANTOM SHOWS UP AGAIN! And he’s literally LITERALLY dressed as the red death! A literal manifestation of Carlotta’s fears surrounding this monster of a man.

Yes Carlotta then becomes a jerk when she gets only a tiny part, which I will say she should have expected. The guy who wants you dead writes an opera and you expect him to give you a large role? Girl? You on the same planet as the rest of us? Once again, pride and vanity are kinda her big things.

Yet she still agrees to do it cause people are in actual danger now. And as she says “the things I have to do for my art!”

And yet she jumps back down the hole that she and the phantom are both in: blaming others for their problems. She thinks Christine is in line with the phantom and therefore blames her. She isn’t as… shall we say croaky about it but she still does point the finger. And yet she does seem to get a little worried when she thinks Christine is completely backing out. I mean after what happened last time Christine didn’t play the lead..

And then the phantom sends his note and once again you can see the horror and then also embarrassment when the phantom insults her acting.

Another headcannon is that yeah she does have an amazing voice there is no doubt about it, but she seems nervous about her acting. Maybe she knows her acting isn’t as good as her singing and realizes that if she messes up this time let’s just say she won’t get another chance.

(Also did the phantom really have to fat shame Piangi?)

And as the phantom addresses Christine in the note, I think Carlotta flops sides again when she hears that Christine has basically left the phantom. Hes not training her anymore. She had no idea of this. And if you can zoom in on her face in the background, you can see that Carlotta looks guilty for just yelling at this girl that’s just as terrified of the phantom as her if not more so!

And then she smirks again when Christine says no so then there goes that argument. And then again she goes back to pointing fingers but this time at Giry. Granted Giry does have some blood on her fingers so she has a point but once again EVERYONE IS SCARED OF THE PHANTOM! What makes Giry any different?! And when that pointing doesn’t work it goes back to pointing at Christine cause she can’t take into account anyone’s suffering but her own.

Then Christine had her break down and Carlotta comments “she’s mad.” But look at how she says this. Shes not making fun of her, she’s not belittling her, she’s worried about her. She sees the madness she’s experiencing is happening to others too. I think this is the final time she flips back to sanity. She realizes she’s not the only woman cursed by the phantom.

And while we can’t see much of her after Raoul’s solo we do see her almost run after a terrified Christine.

Yes she’s still jealous of Christine, we see that with the looks she gives during the rehearsal for Don Juan, but we also see something else I’ve been neglecting.

She’s an amazing friend to Piangi.

She gets upset when people correct him. He gives her support after almost being murdered and walks out with her. He pumps her up, she pumps him up. She compliments his skills and never once gets mad that he gets a role and she didn’t. I mean she’s mad she didn’t get a role but she’s still happy for Piangi! She’s willing to stand up to the phantoms writing not for herself but for her friend Piangi. And she backs down not for herself but for PIANGI. And she gets mad when he gets stressed and she gets stressed when he’s stressed and she’s a dick to everyone else but at least she’s a good friend to the few she has.

Which is why it’s probably for the best that we don’t see her react to Piangi’s death in this version.

Carlotta is definitely not perfect. But I don’t know if she’s entirely evil. She has been hurt by the phantom as much as anyone and deserves a future of peace just as much as anyone else does because that could allow her to grow.

Anyway rant over.

[saras-devotionals]

Quiet Time 9/10

What am I feeling today?

Pretty tired😅 I start nursing clinical again this morning and I didn’t get to sleep as early as I wanted to last night. But! That’s because my family wanted to celebrate my birthday🥹 they bought a tiny cake and made my favorite food and sang happy birthday to me. I felt a little bad bc I was practically gone all day with school and errands and only got to spend an hour with them and today I’ll be gone for a while too ☹️ but I love and appreciate them and honestly kinda felt a bit overwhelmed from all the birthday love yesterday😅

JOB 31 NIV

‭‭Job‬ ‭31‬:‭2‬-‭4‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“For what is our lot from God above, our heritage from the Almighty on high? Is it not ruin for the wicked, disaster for those who do wrong? Does he not see my ways and count my every step?”

Basically what Job is saying here is that God sees everything that we do and we cannot hide anything from Him. Therefore if we act in wicked ways (any way that goes against His desire for us) then the lot as a result is ruin and disaster.

Keep in mind this is Old Testament, but it still applies to us if we do not repent.

Practical: confess to sin to other people in your life to hold you accountable and repent of it!

‭‭Job‬ ‭31‬:‭5‬-‭40‬ ‭NIV‬‬

““If I have walked with falsehood or my foot has hurried after deceit— let God weigh me in honest scales and he will know that I am blameless— if my steps have turned from the path, if my heart has been led by my eyes, or if my hands have been defiled, then may others eat what I have sown, and may my crops be uprooted. “If my heart has been enticed by a woman, or if I have lurked at my neighbor’s door, then may my wife grind another man’s grain, and may other men sleep with her. For that would have been wicked, a sin to be judged. It is a fire that burns to Destruction; it would have uprooted my harvest. “If I have denied justice to any of my servants, whether male or female, when they had a grievance against me, what will I do when God confronts me? What will I answer when called to account? Did not he who made me in the womb make them? Did not the same one form us both within our mothers? “If I have denied the desires of the poor or let the eyes of the widow grow weary, if I have kept my bread to myself, not sharing it with the fatherless— but from my youth I reared them as a father would, and from my birth I guided the widow— if I have seen anyone perishing for lack of clothing, or the needy without garments, and their hearts did not bless me for warming them with the fleece from my sheep, if I have raised my hand against the fatherless, knowing that I had influence in court, then let my arm fall from the shoulder, let it be broken off at the joint. For I dreaded destruction from God, and for fear of his splendor I could not do such things. “If I have put my trust in gold or said to pure gold, ‘You are my security,’ if I have rejoiced over my great wealth, the fortune my hands had gained, if I have regarded the sun in its radiance or the moon moving in splendor, so that my heart was secretly enticed and my hand offered them a kiss of homage, then these also would be sins to be judged, for I would have been unfaithful to God on high. “If I have rejoiced at my enemy’s misfortune or gloated over the trouble that came to him— I have not allowed my mouth to sin by invoking a curse against their life— if those of my household have never said, ‘Who has not been filled with Job’s meat?’— but no stranger had to spend the night in the street, for my door was always open to the traveler— if I have concealed my sin as people do, by hiding my guilt in my heart because I so feared the crowd and so dreaded the contempt of the clans that I kept silent and would not go outside— (“Oh, that I had someone to hear me! I sign now my defense—let the Almighty answer me; let my accuser put his indictment in writing. Surely I would wear it on my shoulder, I would put it on like a crown. I would give him an account of my every step; I would present it to him as to a ruler.)— “if my land cries out against me and all its furrows are wet with tears, if I have devoured its yield without payment or broken the spirit of its tenants, then let briers come up instead of wheat and stinkweed instead of barley.” The words of Job are ended.”

Here Job is going on to list all these things and that if he ever committed a certain sin or didn’t act accordingly in a righteous way, then yes he deserves the judgment and punishment for those sins.

A list of what he spoke of that still applies to us:

Walk in falsehood and deceit

Stepping away from the “path”

Letting our hearts be led by our eyes

Hands being defiled

Heart being enticed by another woman

Denying justice to his servants

Deny the desires of the poor or let the eyes of the widow grow weary

Keeping bread to himself and not sharing it with orphans

Not warming the needy by withholding clothes/garments

Putting his trust in money

Worship the sun or the moon (astrology)

Rejoiced or gloated in an enemy’s misfortune

Cursing against someone

Concealing his sin

Using something without payment

Practical: to be mindful of all these things and to be sure that we don’t fall victim to these acts! We must act accordingly by God’s standard even though it can be incredibly difficult or desire to do the opposite 🙏🏼

[grison-in-space]

"that ability to just modify your perspective and step into the context someone else is wrestling with and listen, that's such an upsettingly rare skill for knowledge workers and healthcare workers... if you ask people why they're struggling, you can fix it and build a better process!"

You might be interested to know that when I was in pharmacy school, those patient interviewing skills mentioned by you and clockworkcrow in that reblog chain about provider burnout were taught to us as a set of techniques known as "motivational interviewing." It's not really in the scope of the personal vs systemic interventions that that reblog chain is about, but one of the revelational takeaways that I got from learning them was the idea that the healthcare provider cannot assume that their goals for care line up with the patient's; sometimes, the patient really doesn't care about the treatment or its outcomes because they have different goals of care in mind, and eliciting those goals during interviewing (because a lot of the time people are not at all articulate about what they want out of life) is a kind of ongoing step one.

I'm also curious if you or the MDs in this discussion have ever encountered ambulatory care pharmacists practicing the approaches that clockworkcrow talks about? I ask because listening to patients, identifying patient-specific blocks to care, and addressing them was something we were taught to do in pharmacy school (because our program pushed us toward ambulatory care). But since I didn't go into ambcare after graduating, I'm unsure both how much of an impact it has/how widespread such practices actually are, and whether ambcare practitioners actually, on the whole, put their money where the educators' mouths are. Can ambcare clinics actually make a systemic difference?

Oh! I had no idea they taught y'all those skills, but then I don't actually think I've ever had a conversation with a pharmacist about meds beyond a perfunctory question about whether I know what side effects there are. In general I am not used to pharmacists, doctors, or other medical professionals like psychiatrists taking a lot of time to really listen to me. Some of that is probably that all my main health complaints are things that feel normal to me and some is probably that I am a chronic minimizer--like I said in that discussion, it's a coping method.

I have never heard the term "ambulatory care" -- oh, it's outpatient care. Yeah, okay, let's use a specific physical issue: I can't run for more than about two to three without finding myself unable to breathe. This has been a thing for essentially my entire life, and in middle school we did running with heart monitors, so even apart from the physical experience of not being able to breathe and having to stop and take great heaving breaths of air, I was aware that objectively my heart rate was going up very fast no matter how hard I tried.

(We are talking "run until you start getting black spots in your vision, then walk until you can just barely breathe again, and then run, rinse and repeat. Literally the only kid slower than me was excused entirely from running because one leg was an inch shorter than the other.) No one around me seemed to think there was anything unusual about this or that I was anything besides just physically lazy, so I kind of wrote it off until my mid twenties. I mean, I'd been visibly struggling with extended physical exercise my whole life, and no one had called it remarkable yet, but friends were telling me it wasn't normal to experience those kinds of breathing issues, so...

I presented myself with this complaint to a nurse practitioner who basically told me I was just fat and needed to exercise more. I pushed past this and was grudgingly scheduled for an ecg (normal) and a peak flow test (astoundingly poor). There was no explanation presented for the peak flow except that I was out of shape and needed (guess what?) more exercise. Tried a pulmonologist, who confirmed it was not exercise induced asthma (which I had been sort of hoping, because there are fixes for that) and told me I was basically fine.

I more or less gave up until a dentist idly mentioned that my airway was very, very small and told me that micrognathia was something I should look into: my airways might be occluded. So I went to an ENT, who also immediately tried to tell me I was basically fine but did grudgingly agree to scope my airways... and discovered major blockages from my tongue (insufficient room in my jaw, so it gets shoved backwards over the airway), my nasal turbinates (swollen almost completely shut), and I forget what else. It was incredibly exciting to have a reason.

Okay, I say, what do I do with this? Exercise more? But I want to do that, I just can't breathe. I was aware that there is a surgery to artificially extend the jaw; it involves breaking the jaw and encouraging it to heal while maintaining space between the halves. So I brought this up. He was very dubious about this. I asked for a referral anyway and was referred to a plastic surgeon. The surgeon was perplexed by what I wanted to talk about and had clearly expected me to have come in for a cosmetic procedure like a nose job. Eventually I got too exhausted to follow up further; I've been meaning to resume this thing for like six years now.

Generally, my experience of doctors is that they have been trained to be suspicious of patient accounts that don't fit a very specific narrative, and that they are impatient to get on to the next thing unless you are very proactive about your own care. If you don't have a condition in mind that you can point them at without making them decide you're med seeking, they are quick to tell you that you are just making things up in your head. There are a few exceptions but I cannot underscore enough how rare I have found them to be.

And they will all tell you to exercise and lose weight as a first line of response. Not that I'm bitter.

Now, actually working in healthcare, @scientia-rex or @clockworkcrow might have more relevant commentaries than I do. But my experience in this field has not been, to put it mildly, great. Let's not even talk about my history of psychiatric care.

[prettyboykatsuki-moved]

ari other than obviously trusting & communicating with your partner do you have any nuggets of info to look out for or thoughts specifically wrt subspace and/or aftercare in bdsm—receiving or giving?

no pressure. im doing my actual due dilligence research its just some of these sites n sources sound hella clinical and robotic and ur an actual living breathing approachable sex-positive person in comparison so i thought to ask.

hello!! i want to start by saying im deeply underqualified for such an ask. i do play and have some experience but it is minimal imo given the fact i have 1. a long term partner and 2. have had like 3-4 subs in my life to play w otherwise + im very young. im not a professional so take my words as anecdotal / personal

but on an individual level im told im a good partner so here my person to person advice / things i do for aftercare to check in on people im having sex with

the cop-out answer is that every person is different and learning to gauge your partners needs is a matter of practice and patience. not everyone needs the same thing and that's alright. it's also something u should talk about before a scene!!!

this is a given but worth mentioning but the first step is always stopping any stimulation. turning off toys, untying your partner, taking out gags - things of that nature. changing the sensation slowly is important imo. after that check on any injury and see what level of care it needs. attend to these physical, immediate needs first.

now that that is taken care of this is my more personal thing

for me usually, there's a ten minute period of me simply talking my partner down from subspace. sometimes that's praise, sometimes it's idle talk and that depends on the person. but slowly letting someone down, assuring them that they're okay and you're with them. it's more about grounding really? the intensity of a scene can be jarring even it doesn't seem that way so for me this is like... a requirement. this includes some physical touch depending on who im with!! but i usually save that for the end. like post shower and shit

sensation check-ins come after. im a sadomasochist so in a lot of cases there is a fair amount of pain involved. i like to sit my partner down on the bed and sort of run my clean hands on an injury. i don't ask for pain scale on one to ten. i prefer to ask if they still feel mobile, if the pressure i put on the area is dull or sharp, how numb they are etc. this is smth you get better at slowly and u adjust to accordingly. if there's any injuries, i take note of them and care for them in the shower

basic hydration and sustenance. this one is important to me personally for a lot of reasons but you'll see it basically in every single bdsm aftercare advice things. normally i help my partner get down a bottle of gatorade and give them a protein bar. if someone is my established partner i basically always cook for them after we have like. sex sex djksdk but you don't always have to do all that lol. just make sure those basic needs are met for BOTH OF YOU!!!!! something light is fine just no empty stomachs it will lowk make u loopy and irritable

showering / cleaning up together!! wiping them down a warm towel, getting in the shower together stuff like that. i like having a little fun skincare routine if it was a super intense scene. but i think the act of helping your partner w that is always really nice and helps establish intimacy. i normally tend to wounds and such here.

as the domme aftercare for me is usually a lot of physical touch and being told my partner enjoyed what i did to them. it's also necessary for me to be able to dote on them in some way. it's hard to explain but being able to service my partner in an intimate nonsexual way is suuuuper necessary so i don't drop. i also love to be kissed.... some soft making out yk

it seems counterintuitive but it makes me a little anxious to not be able to do those things. helping w basic care and things like that are really important to me and someone letting me do that for me is also very important to me. i also like being able to stim afterwards w a chewy and zone out while my partners hangs out in my arms and we have like parallel play time.

i have different routines w every person ive ever been with but these are some of the more basic universals. again everyone is different. how intensive aftercare depends on how intensive a scene but i normally hit these four every time, just more or less in depth depending. i hope this helps you in some way!!!

[sanddusted-wisteria]

A Builder, a Researcher, and a Rooftop, Ch. 15: Literature Review

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Also on AO3

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Research Question (RQ) 1: What is the root cause of the following symptoms: accelerated heart rate (independent of physical or mental stress), unusual warmth in the general torso region, loss or redirection of mental focus?

Qi stared at his open journal, idly tapping his pencil on the table and propping his chin up with his free hand.

His visit to Dr. Fang had been fruitless. The doctor had insisted that he was perfectly healthy (though he firmly recommended that he sleep more). Aside from some odd squawking from the bird (“Oh, are you nervous, honey? Squark. It’s okay, don’t be scared. Awk! Just say it, dummy!”), he’d gotten nothing from the clinic. So he was back to square one, and without any help.

It had been at least two hours since he came back, and despite his usual morning dose of tea (plus an extra cup for good measure), he still couldn’t think of anything. He huffed a sigh, rubbing at his still-puffy eyes. Times like these weren’t uncommon; when he’d get stuck on ideas or designs with no discernable way forward. Usually he’d at least be able to walk away from the problem for a while and work on something else. But this time, getting stuck on a problem was causing a total mental blockade. His mind wasn’t able to produce anything, but he couldn’t bring himself to think about anything else, either.

At least the builder had picked up their blankets while he was out. Who knows how much worse his internal deadlock would be if he had to deal with them being here?

Qi sighed again and brought his pencil back to the page. He was hoping to tackle each of his questions in successive order, but perhaps with the mental block, he should consider multiple questions at once.

RQ2: How and why is the builder associated with the aforementioned symptoms?

Even though both his intuition and an overwhelming amount of circumstantial evidence pointed to them, he couldn’t just assume that they were the root cause. Needlessly blaming them for his problems would be poor practice and unproductive. Also, they would not take very kindly to that.

Perhaps, if he could aggregate any and all observational information he recalled about the builder, he could pinpoint something more specific that was causing his symptoms.

He drew a simple two-column table on the page, labeling the left side “Symptoms”, and the right side “Obs. abt Builder”.

The symptoms column was at least easy to fill out.

Accelerated heart rate (unknown cause)

Warm sensation in general torso region (esp. heart and stomach)

Unusual dreams?

Constant distraction

Disruption of normal thought patterns

Now for the harder part, the observation column. Not necessarily because Qi was lacking in information, but because he had absolutely no idea where to start. Well, maybe with the obvious ones…

Skilled, efficient builder

Regularly comes to research center for diagram requests, pleasantries, and stargazing

Semi-routine schedule; deviates according to demand

Amicable conversationalist

Willing to assist townsfolk for both large and small matters

Those were the basics; things that anyone with rudimentary pattern recognition could see. What about the less obvious things? Things that not everyone would be able to see, or at least not right away.

Skilled relic hunter

Shows interest in relics, science, and technology

Procures many data disks and power stones, often donates to research center

Proficient cook

Engaging storyteller

Creative thinker

His hand was moving faster now, coasted by momentum, writing out words before his mind could even process them.

Inquisitive

Observant

Generous

Proactive

Tenacious

Persistent

Courteous

Wonderful

Qi froze. What was that last one?

Wonderful

His eyes bore into the page, scanning the lines, seeing the grain in the paper where the graphite couldn’t quite mark. That was indeed his handwriting, calling the builder wonderful.  

He took his hands off the journal and reread everything he just wrote. The right column of the table trailed way past the end of the center dividing line, all the way to the bottom of the page and straight onto the next. He read over the extensive list from top to bottom, page to page, over and over. A frown grew deeper on his face the more times he read it. 

Maybe the problem wasn’t only caused by the builder. Judging by this list, perhaps it had something to do with Qi and his perceptions instead. This was getting complicated fast. Feeling a tad uneasy, he wrote down his next research question:

RQ3: What are my attitudes toward the builder?

Right as he finished dotting the question mark, his mind kicked into high gear, bringing forth memories of quiet nights and the smell of tea.

I find them reliable.

When they first arrived in town, they established themselves as a reliable builder within a week. Far more reliable than nearly every other member of the Commerce Guild. Even outside official commissions, he’d come to rely on them for other things, like relic excavation.

I’m curious about them. I find them intriguing.

They had always been a curious individual. How could he not be intrigued by someone who single-handedly managed to triple the output of the Commerce Guild in a month? That curiosity only grew when they started coming over to stargaze. He still had no idea why they decided to come. He’s not even sure if they knew, either. But what he did know is why he let them keep coming, week after week.

I enjoy their company.

Putting it down in writing caused an odd shift in his stomach. Hm. Qi quickly added that to the list of symptoms. But regardless, it was true. He hadn’t really spent too much time with anyone in Sandrock since he moved here, and what little time he did spend was usually limited to business. He thought that the builder would’ve just been another regular client to add to the roster. But soon enough, he found himself enjoying the company of another for the first time in years. So much so that…

I don’t want to inconvenience them.

The builder was always willing to do things for him. Building machines he designed for his own personal use, showing concern over his well-being, providing him with power stones and relics and nourishment, all without so much as a second thought. All of it was immensely helpful when added up over time. He wished there was a better way of expressing his thanks to them. The very least he could do was ensure their efforts weren’t wasted. The last thing he and his habits needed to be was an inconvenience.

I hope they retain a positive outlook of me.

Qi stared at the line. It shouldn’t have been a statement that dumbfounded him, but somehow, it did. It never really crossed his mind, he supposed. He was very aware of the last two statements, but for whatever reason, he never put two and two together. Indeed, he hoped that the builder thought well of him.

I feel at ease holding any conversation with them.

At first, he never cared much to talk to them beyond commission and research talk. But soon, they had started showing interest in astronomy, which gave him some motivation to converse more. He’d been more cautious when the topic of the Mobile Suit started to come up, nervous that he would be subject to mockery. But even with some light teasing at first, Qi quickly found himself comfortable talking to them about it. Not to mention how he so effortlessly divulged some of his earliest, most precious memories, something that he was pretty sure that no-one outside Mint and his family knew.

No matter what the subject was, even those that made other people’s eyes glaze over or those that were deeply personal, the builder always had an open ear and an open mind.

…But it wasn’t just in conversation, was it?

I feel at ease whenever I’m around them.

There were many stargazing nights where hardly any words were exchanged. A simple “hello,” maybe, but nothing else. Just the two of them, the stars, and the silence. And yet, he still felt the same way as he did when they were talking. Unrestrained and unrestricted. At peace and at rest.

Something clicked in Qi’s head. That felt…familiar, somehow.

His dream. He felt it there, too.

Because memories of dreams rapidly decayed soon after waking, he’d been mentally rehearsing the events in it ever since he woke up. But he hardly needed to struggle recalling that undeniable feeling of ease when they appeared. Not to mention, how it only managed to morph and amplify when they…when…

Qi swallowed.

RQ4: What kind of reactions do the builder and their behaviors trigger in me?

His heart pounded and his stomach churned. His grip on the pencil tightened, but still kept frozen in place. Somehow, someway, he knew the answer straight away without needing to put it into words. But nonetheless, the tip of the pencil met the page again and slowly wrote out the answer, plain and simple:

Ease

Fascination

Gratitude

Happiness

L

Qi furiously shook his head. No. Impossible. That wasn’t what it was. All these symptoms, these thoughts, it couldn’t be, they…

…were a perfect match, weren’t they?

With unsteady legs, Qi got out of his seat and numbly went over to his bookshelves. Shaky hands scanned the spines and flipped the occasional book open to check. Finally, he found what he was looking for: a medium-sized volume with a cool-blue cover: Refine My Heart, Build Our Love.

He’d gotten it a few weeks ago with his last book order. As for why he’d gotten it, he still wasn’t too sure. It was definitely for…research, though. Of course it was. He devoured the book in a single day when he got it. A perfectly decent novel, better written than some of the others he had in his collection (which were also purely for research, thank you very much). He’d hoped that through reading it, he’d figure out exactly why he felt compelled to get it, but no such revelation came.

He skimmed through it again, rereading different sections. As he relived the protagonist falling in love with their builder sweetheart, he caught glimpses of their thoughts and reactions. So many of them were similar to his symptoms: an odd fixation, funny feelings in the heart and in the stomach, bursts of exuberance… It was practically one-to-one.

And it didn’t stop with the protagonist, either. As his eye caught segments about their sweetheart, his mind couldn’t help but make some…choice substitutions. The attributes of the builder character started to morph in his head, transforming into features he was a little more familiar with.

Familiar bright eyes, familiar strong arms, the familiar curve of a familiar smile…

And a familiar voice, declaring their love to the protagonist in the sweetest whisper.

Qi snapped the book shut with clammy hands, heart pounding faster than ever.

But even so, that voice still echoed in his mind throughout the recesses of his memories, just as warm and honey-sweet.

“Aw, were you worried about me?”

“Hey. Thanks. That helped. A lot.”

“I know. But I wanted to.”

“It feels nice to know that you’re thinking of me.”

“I’m glad you let me share that joy with you.”

“I…I care about you, you know?”

Another jolt spiked through Qi’s stomach. Last night…

He’d been so preoccupied with trying to remember and analyze his dream that the hazy, sleep-deprived memories of their conversation just before had completely drained from his memory. But the echoes of their voice suddenly dredged them back up, bringing them back into alarmingly clear focus.

He remembered how unsteady he felt, waiting for the builder to arrive, the sound of their footsteps signaling that his efforts for them hadn’t been in vain.

He remembered how angry they sounded when he explained the situation to them.

He remembered the unsteadiness only growing as he laid down, head lolling to the side.

He remembered how the edge in the builder’s voice and the fog in his mind drove him to admit his worries.

He remembered their smile and the absolute sincerity in their voice. How they quashed his greatest worry with a few simple words. And suddenly being awash in an emotion he had no idea how to describe or name.

It had flooded his nervous system with a most exuberant sensation, tingling all down his spine and into the very tips of his fingers. It stirred his stomach and pulled at his heart, as if determined to change his very anatomy. It stoked that unusual warmth inside him again, almost like a tactile glow.

And then, having spent the very last of its energy creating that incredible rush, his body finally succumbed to fatigue.

The last thing Qi could remember was drifting off into oblivion, cradled by warmth from within.

All that…to lead up to the present moment. Where Qi could finally put a name to what that unknown feeling was.

RQ5: What is the answer to all of the aforementioned research questions?

Pencil met paper, and Qi’s eyes met his long-awaited conclusion:

Love.

With the word finally solidified both on the page and in his mind, Qi felt a sense of release, despite his pulse still hammering. The rush of finding a difficult answer, of making a discovery…he knew it well. Although this time, it was compounded with…something else. He didn’t need to think through what it was.

Now that he had his conclusion, Qi just had one last thing to consider to wrap up this study: further work.

There was only one follow-up question to come from such a conclusion, which Qi threw up his arms and shouted into the empty research center:

“Now what?!”

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[eurydiceauxenferswrites]

Anon Matchup Rules

If you prefer to stay on anon for matchups, I’ll need you to send me two asks.

(A) matchup(s) for me, based on the information below. You have the same options available for what I can give in a non-anon exchange. Since anon asks cannot include pictures, if you want a moodboard back provide me a link to them somewhere else.

Your own information (see the general matchup rules for what I’ll need) and what fandoms you want.

Sign both with the same tagline so I can keep track of who is who. I won’t start your matchup until you’ve sent me mine, as a form of guaranteeing both are done. If you have other questions feel free to send those to me as well!

My Information:

Basics: Hi you can call me Eurydice! My pronouns are she/her and I’m heterosexual on the ace spectrum!

Personality: I’m a major perfectionist, but I’m proud of how hard I work. I’m passionate about what I do, for fun or for work. Sometimes it’s healthy but sometimes it can spiral into self-hatred, or at least self-consciousness, when I don’t live up to my own high standards. I can be a bit obsessive, autistic hyperfixation go brr. I like to talk about the things that interest me. I talk a lot, I’m more than a bit socially awkward, I tend to ramble and I can be more than a bit oblivious to subtle social cues or the feelings of other’s. I’m very emotionally expressive when I speak. I have a temper, I’m impatient and stubborn and can get surly, but I’m working on it. I’m proud to say I’m actually really good in a crisis, something I’ve learned from first hand experience. Although I’m pretty ass at leadership, lol its a skill like anything else, and I don’t have a ton of practice (I tend to be a bit of a loner). My sense of humor leans on the drier, cynical, more British side (I make a lot of deadpan jokes and sometimes people take me seriously which is always an embarrassment). Also fun fact: I have sensory processing disorder, which leads to me having chronic insomnia, needing subtitles on everything and being a majorly picky eater (woo, fun). 

Love Language: My giving love languages are acts of service, physical touch and gift giving. My receiving love languages are acts of service, quality time, and physical touch (although I am stingy to whom I give physical touch to, I’m not a touchy person). I’m comfortable showing affection to my friends but when it comes to romance I’m way less confident. I don’t like admitting my feelings and I try to act more aloof and chill (although I am very much a secret romantic and absolutely never chill). I couldn’t flirt if my life depended on it I’m way too straightforward.

Hobbies/Activities: I’m pre-med and a chemistry major so a solid portion of my life is taken up in school and I also work as a volunteer EMS/at a free healthcare clinic/peer tutor (I do enjoy all of it but ngl it can be exhausting). In the spare time I do have I like to participate in theatre on and off stage (I take musical theatre and classical singing lessons! I’m actually really proud of my voice; I’ve even won competitions!), I can’t dance for shit though, three left feet. I also play D&D and other TTRPGs. I’m also a big nerd about history, American comics, and folklore, mythology among other things. For extra nerd points, I speak Latin! My musical tastes leans vintage like my clothing taste: I’m no genre snob but I prefer swing jazz, musical theatre, jazz standards, classic rock, etc (I also have a soft spot for classical). I also love whodunnits and Britcoms. 

Background: I’m an only child.

Preferences: (Keeping it vague because I want you to match me more based on who you genuinely think is most compatible rather than just pick my fave). I prefer nice guys/heroic types (kindness is nonnegotiable), and I also have soft spot towards former villains/douchebags turned heroes (self-honesty and active character development is hot tbh). Appearance-wise I prefer more masc presentation. I also really love Rescue Romance. 

Icks: I don’t like yandere/dubcon (except in the context of like, my real matchup rescuing me from such a scenario). I don’t want an abusive partner.

Categorization: ♉️ ☀️, ♈️ 🌕 ♑️ ↗️, ♈️ ♀. ESTJ/ISTJ (I’m hella ambiverted). My feminine archetype is The Boss.

Appearance: I’m 152 cm/5’0 and like 95 lbs soaking wet, my friends have called me “throwable,” which I’ll admit is pretty correct. I have big olive doe eyes, which I am very proud of, and a big Grecian nose, which I am very self conscious about. I actually find a lot of twins in classical Greco-Roman sculpture! I also have curly brown hair and fair (olivish?) skin. 

Aesthetics: My favorite color is red, any shade from carmine to burgundy. I’d describe my personal style as “Girl Reporter” because I wear a lot of vintage 40-60s pieces or inspired pieces but it’s also very academic and comfortable and practical for walking around all day (I basically think of it like “would a well characterized Lois Lane/ gender swapped Indiana Jones wear this?”). If you’re looking for aesthetic in a more generalized way though, this is a board of the stuff that vibrates at the same frequency as me.

Dream Vacation: I lived in Sorrento last summer for a few months for a classics study abroad and it was absolutely amazing. I love southern Italy, the food is incredible, the landscape and the architecture is gorgeous, the weather is perfect, the beaches are so refreshing and most especially I love all the history and the culture. Pompeii was absolutely incredible to see, I also got to see so much theatre and art and I adored it. I also went to Greece on a similar shorter trip with the same department that summer and enjoyed it too (even though I prefer Neopolitan food lol). I love the ancient world and I want to see the rest of it someday, and not just the Greco-Roman parts. I really want to see the Hagia Sophia and Ephesus and Petra and the Valley of the Kings (and I could go on like this for ages), someday! 

[meika-kuna]

Weight Loss Clinic Atlanta: What to Expect at Your First Visit?

Finding the right support for your weight loss journey can be life-changing, and it starts with knowing what to expect. If you're searching for a reliable weight loss clinic Atlanta, it’s important to choose a practice that combines medical expertise with a personalized approach. At Revive Atlanta MD, we focus on helping individuals achieve sustainable, healthy weight loss through physician-guided plans tailored to your body, lifestyle, and goals. The first visit to a clinic can feel overwhelming, but with the right information, you’ll walk in feeling confident and informed. In this article, we’ll guide you through exactly what to expect from your initial appointment and why this visit is a crucial step toward long-term success.

Comprehensive Health Evaluation at Your Initial Appointment

When you arrive at a weight loss clinic Atlanta, your first visit begins with a detailed health evaluation. At Revive Atlanta MD, our physician will review your full medical history, lifestyle habits, and any existing health concerns. This isn’t just about weight—it’s about understanding your entire health picture. You’ll also undergo basic tests like blood pressure, BMI, and lab work to check hormone levels, blood sugar, and more. These insights help create a personalized roadmap that prioritizes your well-being. Our team ensures that your plan is both medically sound and aligned with your weight loss goals.

Discussing Your Goals and Lifestyle Habits in Detail

One of the most important parts of your first visit to a weight loss clinic Atlanta is the goal-setting conversation. At Revive Atlanta MD, we take the time to understand what success looks like for you. Do you want to lose weight for health reasons, post-pregnancy recovery, or simply to feel more energized? We’ll also talk about your daily routines—work schedules, eating habits, sleep patterns, and stress levels. These discussions help us create a strategy that feels realistic and fits your life, not one that disrupts it. Clear, achievable goals keep you motivated and focused throughout your journey.

Creating a Personalized Medical Weight Loss Plan

Your first visit is where the magic of customization happens. At Revive Atlanta MD, every patient at our weight loss clinic Atlanta receives a unique treatment plan. Whether your plan includes nutritional counseling, appetite suppressants, hormone therapy, or metabolic support, we ensure it's medically appropriate and safe. We don’t believe in one-size-fits-all diets or quick fixes. Instead, we help you build a path that respects your body’s needs and addresses any underlying health issues contributing to weight gain. This approach gives you a strong, informed foundation to move forward.

Exploring Safe and Effective Treatment Options

During your visit, our physician will walk you through the available treatment options. A weight loss clinic Atlanta like Revive Atlanta MD offers evidence-based therapies that may include prescription medications, vitamin injections, or non-invasive fat reduction procedures. We’ll explain how each option works, what results you can expect, and whether it suits your body and health history. Understanding your options empowers you to make informed decisions and builds trust between you and your care provider. Safety and effectiveness are always our top priorities in every recommendation we make.

Nutritional Counseling That Supports Long-Term Results

Sustainable weight loss isn’t just about losing pounds—it’s about learning how to keep them off. That’s why your initial visit at our weight loss clinic Atlanta includes an introduction to nutritional counseling. At Revive Atlanta MD, we provide practical, science-based advice on eating for energy, hormone balance, and fat loss. Our physician can help you uncover dietary habits that may be sabotaging your progress and offer easy-to-follow guidance tailored to your body and lifestyle. Over time, you’ll build a healthier relationship with food that supports both your goals and your overall well-being.

Support, Accountability, and Ongoing Monitoring

A successful weight loss journey is built on consistency and support. At Revive Atlanta MD, your first visit sets the stage for ongoing success. One of the benefits of choosing a physician-led weight loss clinic Atlanta is that we monitor your progress closely, adjusting your plan as needed. Regular follow-up visits help ensure your body is responding well, and you’re staying motivated. We’re here not just for the beginning, but every step along the way—cheering your victories, fine-tuning your plan, and helping you overcome any hurdles you encounter.

What Makes Revive Atlanta MD the Right Fit?

Choosing a weight loss clinic Atlanta is a deeply personal decision. At Revive Atlanta MD, we stand apart by blending medical expertise with compassionate, individualized care. Our clinic creates a space where your health goals are taken seriously and addressed with evidence-based practices. During your first visit, you’ll feel heard, respected, and empowered. We believe real transformation happens when patients feel supported—not judged—and have access to knowledgeable professionals who truly care about their outcomes. That’s the difference we bring to the table.

Conclusion

Your first visit to a weight loss clinic Atlanta marks the beginning of a healthier, more energized version of yourself. At Revive Atlanta MD, we know how important it is to feel informed and supported from the start. Our physician-led team takes the time to understand your unique needs, develop a customized plan, and provide continuous encouragement throughout your journey. With the right tools and expert care, you can achieve long-lasting weight loss success. Book your initial consultation today and take the first confident step toward a healthier future—you deserve it.

[crnamentor]

How To Become A Nurse Anesthetist?

Are you dreaming of a high-impact, high-paying nursing career that combines science, precision, and purpose? Becoming a CRNA might be your calling, and CRNA MENTOR is here to help you every step of the way.

CRNAs are advanced practice nurses who administer anesthesia, monitor patients during procedures, and ensure safe recoveries. They’re essential in operating rooms, surgery centers, labor and delivery units, and more. But the journey to becoming a CRNA requires commitment, education, and a clear roadmap. That’s where we come in.

Let’s walk through the step-by-step process to become a CRNA—and how you can make it your dream job.

Step 1: Earn a BSN from an Accredited Program

Your CRNA journey starts with a Bachelor of Science in Nursing (BSN). This foundational degree prepares you for licensure as a registered nurse (RN) and gives you the skills to work in acute and critical care settings—both essential for aspiring CRNAs.

There are three main paths to a BSN:

Traditional BSN: A 4-year program for high school graduates.

Accelerated BSN (ABSN): For those with a non-nursing bachelor’s degree, completed in 12–18 months.

RN-to-BSN Bridge: For ADN-educated nurses, usually completed in under two years.

Look for a program accredited by the CCNE or ACEN, and focus on excelling both in class and clinicals.

Step 2: Pass the NCLEX and Become a Licensed RN

After earning your BSN, you’ll need to pass the NCLEX-RN exam to become a licensed registered nurse. The NCLEX tests your knowledge of nursing practice, patient care, safety, and clinical decision-making.

Once licensed, you're officially in the nursing profession—but this is just the beginning of your CRNA journey.

Step 3: Gain Critical Care Experience

CRNA programs require at least one year of full-time experience as a nurse in a critical care setting—most applicants go above and beyond this minimum.

The most common units to work in are:

Intensive Care Units (ICU)

Emergency Departments (ED)

Surgical or Trauma ICUs

During this time, focus on gaining strong assessment skills, mastering ventilator management, and becoming comfortable with high-acuity patients. Many schools also expect certifications like ACLS, PALS, and Basic Arrhythmia Recognition.

Step 4: Enroll in a DNP or DNAP Program

To become a CRNA, you must earn a Doctor of Nursing Practice (DNP) or Doctor of Nurse Anesthesia Practice (DNAP). As of 2025, all CRNAs must graduate from a doctoral program accredited by the Council on Accreditation (COA).

These programs are highly competitive and require:

A BSN (some accept MSN holders)

A minimum 3.0 GPA

Strong GRE scores (for some schools)

One or more years of critical care experience

Shadowing a CRNA (highly recommended)

The curriculum includes advanced physiology, pharmacology, pathophysiology, and anesthesia principles, plus extensive clinical rotations.

Step 5: Pass the National Certification Exam (NCE)

After earning your doctorate, you’ll be eligible to sit for the National Certification Examination (NCE) offered by the NBCRNA. This comprehensive exam tests everything you've learned in your doctoral program and clinical practice.

Once you pass the NCE, you can apply for state licensure as a CRNA and begin practicing.

Step 6: Maintain Your Certification and Licensure

To keep your CRNA license, you must complete the Continued Professional Certification (CPC) Program every four years and pass a recertification assessment every eight years. This ensures you stay up-to-date with the latest in patient safety, pharmacology, and clinical best practices.

CRNA Career Outlook: High Reward, High Purpose

CRNAs are not only among the highest-paid nurses in the U.S., but they also report some of the highest job satisfaction in the healthcare field. With average salaries ranging from $180,000 to over $220,000, the investment in your education truly pays off.

But beyond the salary, CRNAs make an enormous difference. They advocate for patients during their most vulnerable moments, from surgeries to emergency care, and ensure that anesthesia is safe and effective.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone – CRNA MENTOR Has Your Back

Here at CRNA MENTOR, we understand that everyone’s journey is unique. That’s why we provide more than just information—we provide inspiration, guidance, and mentorship from someone who’s walked the path before you.

How CRNA MENTOR Can Help:

Join our FREE Facebook Community to connect with other future CRNAs.

Book a 30-minute call with Tyler to ask questions and get advice.

Sign up for 1-on-1 mentorship to build your strategy and stay accountable.

Download motivational resources to stay focused and inspired.

Watch our video bank for tips, personal insights, and real talk from the field.

Final Thoughts

Becoming a CRNA is one of the most rewarding—and demanding—careers in nursing. It requires time, focus, and heart. But if you’re ready to take that step, we’re here to guide you every part of the way.

At CRNA MENTOR, we believe you can do more than just dream about your future—you can build it. And we’re here to help you make it happen.

[alicevgcna]

Open Your Future: How to Get Your CNA License Online in 2023

unlock Your Future: How to Get Your CNA License Online in 2023

Are you ready to step into a rewarding career in healthcare? Becoming a Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA)⁣ is ​an ​excellent way ‌to start your journey in⁣ the medical field.‌ In 2023, getting your ⁣CNA license online⁢ has become more accessible than ever. This comprehensive guide will cover everything you need to know about pursuing your CNA license online, including benefits, practical tips, and​ essential steps to get‌ started.

What is a CNA?

A Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA) plays a crucial role‌ in ⁣the healthcare system by providing basic patient care under the supervision ​of⁢ a nurse or ‍other medical professional. Some of the key ⁤responsibilities of a CNA include:

Assisting patients with daily activities such⁢ as bathing, dressing, and​ grooming.

Monitoring and recording patients’ vital signs.

Helping patients with mobility and physical activity.

Providing emotional support to patients​ and ​their families.

Why Get Your CNA License​ Online?

Choosing to obtain your CNA​ license online presents numerous advantages:

Flexibility:

You can learn at your own pace and schedule your studies around existing commitments.

Accessibility:

You can⁢ access ⁢courses from anywhere, eliminating geographical ⁤barriers.

Cost-Effectiveness:

Online programs often have lower tuition compared to traditional schools.

Comprehensive Learning ‍Materials:

Online ⁢resources‍ include videos, quizzes, and interactive modules to enhance your learning experience.

Steps to Get your‍ CNA License Online in 2023

1. Research⁣ Accredited Online Programs

To ensure the quality of your​ education,​ start by ​looking for accredited online CNA programs. Accreditation ‌guarantees that the program ​meets specific academic standards. Here’s⁤ how to research effectively:

Check for ⁣state approvals and⁢ accreditation.

Read student reviews and success stories.

Compare course contents‍ and costs.

2. Complete the Required Training Hours

In most states, you must complete a specific number of training hours, combining both theoretical coursework and hands-on clinical experience. ⁤Online programs will often facilitate⁤ clinical placements in your area.

3. Pass the CNA Exam

Once your‌ training is complete, you must pass the‌ CNA certification⁣ exam, typically consisting of a written test⁣ and a practical⁤ skills assessment. Prepare by:

Reviewing the exam format and types⁤ of questions.

Utilizing practice tests and study aids.

4.⁣ Obtain Your License

After passing the CNA exam, you’ll need to apply for​ your license with your state’s nursing board, fulfilling any additional state-specific requirements. This may include background ⁢checks or additional documentation.

Benefits of being a ‌CNA

Obtaining your CNA license brings numerous benefits:

High Demand: CNAs are in demand in hospitals, nursing homes, and home‌ health care.

Job Satisfaction: Helping patients leads to fulfilling work⁤ experience.

Career‍ Advancement: A CNA license can be a stepping stone to advanced​ medical roles.

Practical tips for Success

Making the most of your online ‍CNA education requires commitment and effective study strategies. Here are some practical tips:

Create a dedicated study​ space free from distractions.

Establish a study schedule and stick to it.

Engage with instructors and fellow students online for support.

Case Studies: Success Stories

Many⁢ students have successfully transitioned to a CNA career through online programs.Here are two short success stories:

Name

Background

Outcome

Jessica ⁢M.

came ​from a non-medical background

Now works⁢ in a busy hospital, plans to continue her education.

Mark T.

Recently laid off from retail

Quickly found a job as a CNA and enjoys the rewarding experience.

First-Hand Experience: ‌What to Expect

Those who have gone through the process often share immense satisfaction in their choice to become a ⁤CNA. The hands-on components of training are challenging yet invigorating, providing a glimpse into actual patient care. Here’s what a few CNAs report:

Strong sense of community among healthcare workers.

Gratifying moments watching patients recover.

Continuous learning and chances for advancement in the healthcare field.

conclusion

getting your CNA license online in 2023⁢ can transform your future, opening doors to a fulfilling career in healthcare. With flexible learning ‍options, supportive resources, and the ability to work ⁤in a high-demand​ field, taking the first step ‌toward your CNA journey has⁢ never been easier.⁢ By following the outlined steps and tips, you can unlock a ​world of opportunities and make‍ a meaningful impact in the lives of patients. Are ⁣you ready to embark on⁣ your nursing journey?

https://cnaclassesonline.net/open-your-future-how-to-get-your-cna-license-online-in-2023/

[sensitive-virgo]

Open Your Career: A Complete Guide to Obtaining Your Texas Dental Assistant License

Unlock Your Career:⁤ A Complete Guide to Obtaining ⁣Your Texas Dental Assistant License

Unlock ​Your Career: A Complete ⁤guide to ‍Obtaining Your Texas Dental Assistant License

Embarking on‍ a career as a dental assistant in Texas ⁢is an exciting prospect, filled with ‌potential for growth and skill progress. Whether you’re ‍just entering ‍the workforce or considering⁤ a career change,⁢ obtaining your Texas Dental‍ Assistant License is essential. In this⁤ guide, we will walk you through the steps required to ⁣secure your license and ⁣provide⁤ valuable insights into the​ benefits and practical tips​ for ​prospective dental assistants.

Understanding ⁤the ⁣Role‌ of a ⁤Dental Assistant

A ⁢dental ​assistant ⁣plays a‍ crucial role in any dental practice, supporting the dentist and ‌ensuring a smooth workflow. Responsibilities may include:

Preparing patients for treatments

Assisting ‌during dental procedures

Managing⁤ patient records

Sterilizing instruments and maintaining ⁤equipment

Performing⁢ basic administrative tasks

Requirements for Obtaining a Texas Dental assistant​ License

Before you can start your journey as a dental assistant in Texas,it’s essential to understand the requirements to obtain⁤ your license.Here’s a breakdown:

1.Educational ‌Background

To ‌become a licensed dental assistant,⁢ you must have:

A high school diploma or equivalent (GED).

Completion ⁤of a dental assistant program accredited ‍by the Commission ⁣on Dental Accreditation (CODA) is highly recommended.

2. Certification and Training

While certification is not mandatory, obtaining a Registered‌ Dental Assistant (RDA) certification from the Texas ​state Board of ⁤Dental Examiners can⁢ enhance your job⁣ prospects.

Complete a dental ⁤radiation safety course.

Pass the texas State Board’s written ‌and practical examinations.

3. Additional Requirements

You’ll need ‍to ‌meet specific health and background checks:

Submit a ⁢criminal background check.

Provide evidence of​ immunizations ‌as required (e.g., ​hepatitis B).

Steps ‌to Obtain Your‌ Texas Dental Assistant License

With a clear understanding of the ‌requirements, let’s⁢ explore the steps to secure‍ your ⁤license:

Step 1: Enroll ⁤in‌ a⁤ Dental Assistant Program

Research‌ and choose⁣ an ‍accredited dental assistant program in Texas.

Step 2: Complete Required Coursework

Engage fully in the program,focusing on both theoretical and practical coursework.

step⁣ 3: ⁢gain Clinical Experience

Many programs offer hands-on training in real dental settings, ‌which is invaluable.

Step 4: Register ‌for the⁤ RDA Examination

Once your training is complete, apply for the RDA examination through the ​Texas State Board of Dental Examiners.

Step 5: Prepare for and Pass the Examination

utilize available study materials and practice ​tests to prepare‍ thoroughly.

Step 6: Apply‌ for Your License

Upon‌ passing ​the ⁢examination, submit your application⁣ for​ licensure along with necessary documents and⁣ fees.

Benefits of Becoming⁣ a Licensed Dental Assistant in⁤ Texas

Getting ​your ‌Texas Dental Assistant License ‌brings multiple advantages:

Job Security ⁤and Demand

The dental ⁤field​ is expanding, leading to a consistent demand for dental ⁣assistants.

Competitive ⁢Salary

According to the ‌Bureau of Labor Statistics, dental⁤ assistants in Texas can earn a competitive salary, typically between $34,000 to $50,000‌ annually depending on experience and location.

Career advancement Opportunities

With your license, ⁤you‌ may have the‍ chance to pursue advanced roles, such as dental ⁣hygienist or ⁣dental ⁤office manager.

Practical ‍Tips for Aspiring Dental‍ Assistants

To enhance⁣ your path toward becoming a successful dental assistant, consider the following tips:

Network with professionals in the field ⁤to learn about opportunities.

Stay updated on ‍dental technologies and practices.

Volunteer⁤ or ⁣intern ​at⁣ local‌ dental ⁤offices for real-world experience.

Join professional organizations like the american Dental Assistants Association (ADAA).

Case ⁣Studies: Successful ‌Dental Assistants in Texas

To ‍illustrate how valuable the Texas⁢ Dental Assistant License⁢ is,​ let’s look at a couple of success stories:

Case Study 1: Samantha’s Journey

Samantha enrolled in a dental​ assistant​ program straight out of high school. After obtaining her RDA ‌and gaining hands-on experience, she secured a position at a‌ busy dental office.⁢ Within a year, ​she progressed to the ⁢role of head dental ⁣assistant, overseeing training for new⁣ hires.

Case Study 2: Michael’s Career ⁢Shift

Michael was⁣ a retail manager who decided to change careers.After enrolling in a ​dental ‍assistant program, ⁢he acquired his license. Today, ‍he ⁣enjoys not only a better work-life balance but⁣ also takes pride in⁣ making a ⁣difference in patient care.

Conclusion

Obtaining your Texas Dental Assistant ⁢License can be a life-changing decision,opening doors to​ a ⁣rewarding and‍ stable career in healthcare.By following the outlined steps,⁣ understanding the requirements, and⁤ leveraging the benefits,‌ you stand to unlock significant opportunities in the ⁢dental field.Take the first step today towards a ⁢radiant future as a licensed dental assistant in Texas!

https://dentalassistantclasses.net/open-your-career-a-complete-guide-to-obtaining-your-texas-dental-assistant-license/

[the-love-of]

There is this native man on tiktok I watch sometimes.

He honestly makes me feel closer to the traditions that I never got to learn.

For those of you who don't know me or my history. Here is a brief summary. I'm twospirit. Which is basically queer for native american people. We didn't used to have a name for it. People just were. Then colonial invasion and. Everything had labels now.

So native folks wanted their own. So... in tge 70s they coined Two Spirit.

I dont use it publicly anymore. Because often I would be asked where I'm from. And I would have nothing but a sad story to give.

My great grandfather was an orphan. He was adopted by a white family. He owned a construction company in Tallahassee FL. I spoke to his daughter. She described him as a very brown man. And said he knew he was "indian" but never talked about it with her.

So you might be wondering. "Aren't you Mestizo!?"

Yep. I have two parents I guess.

There's a lot of generational racism on both sides.

My mother and her mom both sharpe out "Mestizo " on their birth certificate. She never talked about it. When I grew up. I learned what it meants. And she lost her mind on me when I started asking about it. Like she was full on furious with me.

I didn't start using it until I met a man here in Ottawa named Tito. He was a revolutionary from chili. He sang for us songs about worker oppression. He explained to us about Mestizo. And that he was. And what it actually means.

So you know how everyone says the Mayans vanished? You know how alien worshiping weirdos say they went to space?

No. Tito is the world leading expert. We met him at a native art exhibit. And he spoke. He sang. And people danced. I sat with my stoicness and smirked (im really cool irl guys. Like you'd think I was spooky)

He basically told me that yet again... white folks oppression tried to erase our history. So we'd seem more like "Savages" who did blood rituals and killed eachother off.

But no. We just started living in small villages. Growing crops. Tending the land. We outgrew empires. We outgrew royalty. We became practical and community driven.

White folks fear a socialist.

Our people have revolution in our blood.

Do you know that?

Do you know who really owns the land you're standing on?

The fucked up thing? Landback? You know what will happen? What will happen to you when you give your land ownership back to the native people? Nothing. They won't take your home. They won't take your job. They won't run you out of the country like people fear.

These are oppressed people. Why would they oppress you?

This is a community.

There will always be enough if we all share.

Anyway!

Yeah I'm two spirit. And Mestizo.

I've learned that the land is spirit too. Nature and biology. They are the rocks and the trees speaking. We learned how to talk to the land by watching. By listening. Understanding beyond knowing.

Balance. We learned balance. Lots of native people are protectors of the land. Even after it was taken. Because she's still mother. And the land still needs people to speak for it.

Native tradition is practical.

There's something I learned from fis grandma and my time volunteering at the local native clinic.

When we eat.

We leave a plate for the people missing.

We put the same food on it.

And if the people missing don't eat.

We give it to nature.

I set a plate for you. Know that.