#but back to topic. i have to save them. there must be at least something to salvage. im so--

[avocado62524]

[kaisacobra]

Deal - Tara Carpenter

Summary: After a long time apart, you and Tara have to figure out if you can still save what you had or if you are too broken to be fixed.

Warnings: A bit of angst (maybe)

Word Count: 3.9K

a/n: This is officially the end of the whole "second best" saga! Thank you so much for everyone who read it till here, it was really fun to write. I hope you guys don't mind the open ending 🤭

Fourth part/Alternate ending of Second Best

Tara couldn't remember the last time she felt this nervous. She stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror for what must have been the hundredth time, adjusting her bangs again, sweeping them from side to side until they looked almost the same as they did initially. The bright light in the room highlighted her freckles and wide, brown eyes filled with anxiety.

It had been a little over a year since she last saw you, since you accepted a spot for a study abroad program after recovering from the injuries caused by the last ghostfaces attack. You went with Kate, and as far as Tara knew, you and the girl spent that time living together.

She vividly remembered the day you left, as everyone else bid you farewell at the airport while Tara drowned in her own misery in her room. She wanted to go, say something, maybe even plead for you to stay, but she didn't have that right. She had sworn not to get close to you again until she knew she had her emotions under control.

Still, she allowed herself to be a bit more flexible when she noticed that her contact was no longer blocked by you. She let her fingers type an honest and heartfelt message about her mistakes, how sorry she was, and her plans to become a better person in the future. You responded with a heart emoji and nothing more. Nevertheless, it relieved the weight on Tara's chest just to know that you didn't hate her as much as she feared.

Tara remained true to the promise she made, a kind of devotion to you and what you represented in her life. She continued her therapy sessions regularly and decided to set aside some of her pride when trying to find new coping mechanisms, even if some of them required the help of others.

Writing remained her favorite, and she had hundreds of pages to prove it. She would be lying if she said you weren't the most mentioned topic in her journals, but over time, she started expanding her writing, and it became common to see her with a small notebook in her bag at all times, ready to express her opinions and feelings when necessary.

But she didn't have the notebook in hand that day. It was Mindy's birthday, and Tara wanted to be 100% dedicated to her friends, actively participating in games, conversations, and any other activity they needed. She knew she had been a bit absent-minded since you moved away, and it made her friends uneasy, not knowing exactly how to deal with the situation and with Tara herself.

But the day was supposed to be happy and carefree, so that's what Tara was going to appear to be.

Or at least, that was the plan until Tara arrived at Mindy's apartment and heard from the birthday girl herself that you would be arriving any moment. From that point on, Tara only remembers feeling her heart almost leap out of her throat and rushing to the bathroom in a failed attempt to prevent hyperventilation.

She sighed again and gripped the sink so tightly that the knuckles of her fingers turned white. She was anxious to see you, but she had no idea how you would react to the encounter. What if you looked at her with distaste? Or if you didn't even want to look her in the face? Tara knew she would deserve that kind of treatment, but it didn't mean it would hurt any less.

Because the truth is, all this time, Tara just wanted you back in her life.

---

Ringing a doorbell should be a simple task, but still, you couldn't help but stand in front of the door, second-guessing before pressing the simple buzzer.

"You know, if you want, we can turn around and leave, but we both know that's not what you want."

You sighed, turning to look at the girl beside you. Kate Bishop had her hands in the jacket pockets and displayed a fond smile on her face, which you imagined was an attempt to make you feel better.

"I hate it when you're right," you scoffed, but both of you knew your indignation was just a joke, having spent enough time together to read each other's reactions like a book.

This wasn't what you expected when you accepted the offer for a year-long study abroad program at Cambridge, but you also couldn't say you weren't satisfied with how things turned out. You didn't even know you needed this change of scenery, but it made sense after everything you had been through. You needed time away from painful memories.

The British air provided a calmness you hadn't felt in a long time, without fear of seeing familiar faces on the streets or places that would remind you of certain memories or people. Of course, good company also played a significant role.

You could hardly believe it when Kate offered to share an apartment with you near the college. She had already done so much for you, being by your side and supporting you throughout your rehabilitation process after last year's attack. You didn't want her to feel obligated to continue taking care of you.

But Kate barely listened to your concerns, saying that she needed to go to other countries to try to expand her company's contacts and that it would be good to have a roommate to share expenses (even though you were pretty sure Kate had enough money to buy three apartments in central London if she wanted to).

It was one of the best decisions you had ever made, and quickly you and Kate fell into such a comfortable rhythm that it felt like you had always lived together. Your relationship even turned romantic for a while, but it only lasted until you both realized that you were better off as friends, which was agreed upon between the two of you.

"Come on, ring that doorbell already! I'm starving!" Kate lightly pushed you, and you rolled your eyes with affection, feeling a bit less tense with your friend's moral support.

"Starving," you laughed and actually pressed the doorbell, taking a few steps back to wait for the moment the door would open. Your hands were trembling, and you felt as though you were about to sweat even though it was quite cold in New York. Of course, you missed your friends, your family, but that wasn't enough to ease your anxiety.

When the door finally opened, you were faced with Mindy Meeks-Martin, with her signature sarcastic smile and her short, curly hair reaching her chin, much longer than the last time you saw her. "Well, well. If it isn't our new European! Do you only speak with an accent now?"

"You're ridiculous." With a smile, you advanced and enveloped Mindy in a long hug that she quickly reciprocated, both feeling the longing emanating through the touch. The contact lasted for a few long seconds until you both untangled yourselves again. "I hope it's not a problem that I brought Kate along..."

"Pfft! Of course not!" Mindy waved her hand, indicating that she didn't mind the newcomer. "It's even better you brought her because I needed to thank her in person for taking care of you." She looked at Kate with a playful smile. "I think we all know our y/n is too kind to be alone in a distant country. She would try to help a stranger on the street and get kidnapped for sure."

"Hey!"

"Wow, have you heard about the time she took the wrong subway, and then..."

"Okay! Enough about my misfortune! Can we go in?" You interrupted Kate, feeling your cheeks flush a bit. Despite being slightly embarrassed, you were still happy that two important people in your life had the potential to get along, and that was all you could ask for.

Mindy made room, and finally, you entered the apartment. It was new, considering the twin and Anika had recently moved in together, and it was sparsely furnished but beautiful and comfortable enough to feel like a home. You and Kate approached, she with her hands on your back as a silent support, and you greeted your friends with enthusiasm and a longing to catch up.

Chad looked stronger than ever, and he seemed excited about both college and his part-time job as an assistant at a gym. Apparently, he got a discount for training and using the equipment and was clearly taking full advantage of it. He and Kate engaged in a conversation about diets, weights, and workouts that you honestly couldn't follow, but you were satisfied to know that they had gotten along well enough to plan to train together someday.

Anika was happy and radiant, making you laugh as she always did. She wore a cropped top, revealing the huge scar forming a line in the center of her stomach, something she seemed to wear with pride. You never expected this reaction from her; on the contrary, you had imagined that she would want to distance herself from the group, out of fear or trauma. Still, it was reassuring to see that she had stayed for Mindy. They were the kind of couple you hoped would last forever.

Sam seemed somewhat lighter since the last time you saw her, as if a huge weight had lifted off her shoulders. She was smiling, albeit not very widely, and welcomed you with a warm hug that almost made you cry with relief. Part of you always wondered if Sam was glad with your departure because of... well... your conflicts with her sister, but she seemed so happy with your presence that it was almost embarrassing that you had that thought in the first place.

And then, she came. A pair of bright brown eyes that haunted your sleep without permission. It was unfair how she looked as beautiful as the last time you saw her, as if time worked differently for her, and only for her. Your breath caught in your throat, and your heart seemed to beat so fast it was about to explode.

How could it be possible that your entire system changed just by her presence? How was it possible that, with a glance, she could change your heartbeat and make your head spin like a carousel? Maybe she didn't even know she was doing it, but you couldn't comprehend why, even after so many years, your body reacted so instinctively around her.

It was almost humiliating to realize that your efforts seemed to have been in vain. You had gone to another country, met new people, explored new horizons, even had a girlfriend for a brief period. During this year, you had thought so little about Tara that you almost thought you could leave her in the past, that you had overcome your feelings, so pure but so conflicting. All of this, all this effort to come back and realize that you seemed to still be stuck in the same place, like the same foolish girl who would do anything for Tara Carpenter against your better judgment.

You could still hear her screams on that last night you had together when you thought you were going to die, and your biggest concern was that Tara had to leave that room alive. You still remembered the conversation you had before, Tara begging for your forgiveness and saying she loved you multiple times.

Those were memories that left a hole in your chest. You knew Tara had her problems, but you always lost so much when she distanced herself.

She raised her hand in an awkward greeting, and you think you gave a half-smile in response. It was too much. You were still feeling too much, and it drove you crazy. Still, you pretended everything was okay for a few moments, just not to create an uncomfortable atmosphere at the party. You talked to the others, sharing a bit of your experience in England, but your mind always unconsciously turned to Tara, analyzing her reactions and trying to read her thoughts.

Tara was quiet, maybe even quieter than you had ever seen her. You couldn't read her expressions very well, straining to see her only from the corner of your eye, but you could feel her attentive gaze on you, as if nothing in the world was as interesting as you.

Finally, you stopped talking for a while and found an excuse to leave and try to restore some of your sanity. The door to the balcony was open, and even though the view was nothing but New York's industrial buildings, the cold wind on your face helped alleviate some of the nervousness you were feeling.

A gentle touch reached your shoulder, and it was familiar enough for you to recognize the owner. Kate's image appeared by your side as she leaned on the railing, looking directly at your face in deep thought. "So?"

"I thought I had gotten over this. This is ridiculous." You responded with your head down, feeling ashamed to continue in this cycle of liking Tara Carpenter.

Kate shook her head and held your shoulder again, silently asking for your attention. "You can't control these things, you know." A second of silence passed, the faint sounds of the city serving as a soundtrack to your emotional confusion. "If it helps, she spent the whole time looking at you. She seemed... I don't know, regretful, maybe? I don't know her as well as you do."

"I don't even know if I still know her." It was a true confession. Even after everything, even the attacks and the message Tara sent you when you were leaving the country, you still weren't sure if she had the capacity to return to what she was before everything went wrong. You were afraid, and honestly, who could blame you?

While you were away, sometimes you checked your friends' Instagram, just to see what they were up to. Multiple times, the posts contained photos with Tara, and she seemed happy, maybe even lighter. You even wondered if the two of you were just destined to be apart, like a more brutal version of Romeo and Juliet.

"You're not obligated to anything, but don't you need some sort of closure?" Kate advised. "Just to move on, if that's what you really want."

"What do you mean by that?" You retorted defensively.

The blue-eyed girl smiled and shook her head slightly, as if dealing with an irritated child. "I saw how you looked at her when you arrived. I'm not saying you should do anything, especially because I have my doubts if she could really be good for you, but it's clear that you feel something for her that's bigger than you can control."

"Yeah, and that's pathetic."

"Don't be so hard on yourself. I understand that your situation is complicated." Kate placed her other hand on your shoulder, now holding you face-to-face with her. "But you know you'll have to face this someday, right? Whatever the conclusion may be."

"Yeah, I know." You sighed, but eventually a smile broke through, lighting up your expression. "When did you become so wise, Bishop? Last time I saw you, you were trying to put aluminum in the microwave."

"Shut up." She grumbled while also having a smile on her face and pulled you into a hug that you didn't even know you needed. That was Kate, a warm person who always gave her best to the people she loved. You couldn't be more grateful to still have her in your life, even though your relationship didn't work out. 

The affectionate moment almost made you forget your conflict. Almost.

Until the reason for all your doubts appeared standing in front of the door, staring directly at you.

_

Tara regretted going after you.

She should have expected, especially since you came to the party with Kate, especially because you spent this whole year living with her. But that didn't mean it hurt any less to see you embraced with her, looking so comfortable that you wouldn't need anything else in this world.

Especially if it was someone known for hurting you and breaking your heart repeatedly.

She stood there, rooted to the ground like an idiot, until you two separated and noticed her presence. When your eyes met, she looked like a deer in the headlights and immediately started stepping back, embarrassed to have been caught like that.

Tara was already planning how to hide from you for the rest of the party when Kate stopped her. "Hey! No need to leave."

The Latina girl halted her route and looked suspiciously at both of you. You didn't seem to understand the situation, just like her, but Kate seemed sure of what she was doing because she continued. "You two need to talk once and for all. No imminent death or text messages, just eye to eye."

"Kate." You called her, grabbing her arm as a form of protest. Tara couldn't help but wince when she noticed how just how much you were against the idea of being alone with her. Not that she could blame you for it.

"Thank me later." That was all the other girl responded, and with a short nod towards Tara, she returned to the living room, leaving two tormented souls by themselves on the balcony.

Tara took a few small steps forward, analyzing what your reaction would be to the proximity. You seemed to be doing your best to ignore her, looking into the distance as if there were something interesting in graffiti-covered billboards and dimly lit lamp posts. She leaned on the railing, trying at least to have a view of your face. "Sorry if I interrupted your intimate moment; I didn't mean to."

You released air through your nose, but Tara couldn't tell if it was a laugh. "You talk as if Kate and I were dating."

"And aren't you?" The younger Carpenter replied, trying to contain some of the excitement she wanted to show. That had been one of the best news she had received in a long time. 

"No, not for a while. I thought you saw it on my Instagram; I unblocked you." You finally looked at her, and Tara could see that you were analyzing her, as if she were a puzzle to be solved.

"Yeah, I stopped checking a while ago. Thought maybe it would bother you."

"And it wouldn't bother me for you to say you love me and not visit me in the hospital once after almost dying in front of you? It wouldn't bother me that the only news I had from you after that was that message before I boarded the plane, since you didn't even bother to show up at the airport?"

Tara felt the anger in your voice, and she accepted each of your frustrations as a penance. God, she would probably accept a punch from you if that would make you feel better. "I had promised myself that I would only get close to you again when I was better, okay? When I sought help and there was no risk of being an idiot with you again. I didn't lie when I said I love you, and it's because I love you that I knew it was better to stay away until I could be a version of myself that would be better for you."

A minute of pure silence passed, and Tara almost thought the conversation would end there until you spoke again. "And did you? Get better, I mean."

She sighed and crossed her arms as if that made her less vulnerable. "I think so. I don't feel as much uncontrolled anger as before; I also don't feel the need to take out my frustrations in drinks or parties. It's been a while since I argued with Sam, and I think that's good for both of us. And my therapist is nice, even though he's old enough to not know what Twitter is." Tara laughed, even though she was full of anxiety bubbling inside her. "But he advised me to write, and that has helped me a lot."

You looked at her with curiosity. "Write? About what?"

"About everything." Tara shrugged, almost as if she were relaxed. "My day-to-day life, college, my friends... you. Writing makes what I feel not stay trapped inside me, so I have no reason to explode. Everyone wins with this, and I must say that my essay grades even increased after that."

A short laugh escaped your lips, and the sound made Tara minimally satisfied with herself. "You write about me?"

"Yeah, actually, most of my journals have something about you. Memories of our childhood or what I feel for you." Tara admitted, feeling her own face blush with embarassment. You didn't seem to notice, or just didn't care, because you continued to look at her very carefully. "But most of it is about things I regret. Things I said, things I did... I'm really sorry."

"I want to believe that. I mean, I believe you, I know you're not lying, but..." You placed your hands on your head and closed your eyes, your elbows resting on the railing. It seemed like you were trying to block your own thoughts. "It's all so complex, and I feel so much... pain."

"I understand. I don't expect you to forgive me, and I'm willing to spend the rest of my life apologizing if necessary." Cautiously, Tara took a few steps towards you. "But if you want me to stay away, just say the words, and I'll go."

You sighed with evident exhaustion. "Of course not, Tara."

She took a few more steps, and now her arm almost touched yours. "I know I have no right to ask this, but... do you still love me? Or do you think you could love me again someday?"

"Of course, I still love you, Tara! Don't you see that's the problem?" You moved away from the railing, raising your voice as the conversation stressed you. "I shouldn't still love you! I shouldn't still want you around! What does that say about me?"

Tara waited a few seconds until you calmed down, keeping the distance between you to avoid making you more irritated. When your breathing started to slow, she continued in a weak voice. "I hurt the person I loved most in this world. What does that say about me?"

You didn't say anything in response. She spoke again. "Why don't we make a deal?"

"A deal? About what?" You replied with sarcasm dripping from your voice.

"Let me prove that I've changed, that I've improved, that I deserve a place in your life again. We can start slowly; I won't force anything and will respect any boundaries you want." The girl pleaded, almost clasping her hands and kneeling at your feet. "And if I do anything, anything at all, that makes you uncomfortable and hurts you, I'll leave you alone forever."

"What's the point of that?"

"To stop this doubt that I know we both have. Stop us from wondering about the 'what ifs' and really put to the test if I've changed. That's what you want, isn't it? To know if there's any chance the old Tara can come back? Well, that's all I want too."

You stared at her, clear doubt and apprehension in your eyes as you thought about the presented arguments. Tara's foot tapped rapidly on the floor, demonstrating her nervousness.

A few seconds passed until you spoke again. "What does this mean for us?"

Tara's expression softened as she understood your caution. It was understandable, your fear. "I don't know, but we can find out together. Do we have a deal?"

A few more seconds, and then, a nod.

"Deal."

[pepsiconcoction]

Bathroom Breakdown | Bang Chan x Reader

pairing: bang chan x fem!reader

tags: insecurity, comfort, fluff, chan is so sweet y'all, minor explicit language

requested? nope, this was all me baybee!

wc: 1,450

If you had to say, getting in your own head was probably your strongest skill. You do it a lot, more than most people, but the funniest thing is, you don’t even realise you’re doing it half of the time. The thoughts in your head are so common that you truly believe them now, they’re just facts!

The recent topic of discussion inside your brain has been your love life. Specifically, your wonderful boyfriend, Chan. He really is wonderful, he’s kind, generous, funny, smart, and handsome as hell. You consider yourself lucky to be his girlfriend for the past six months. Insecurity has been slowly eating you recently, gnawing at you in the back of your head. You know everything that it’s saying is wrong, and that he loves you, and he’s lucky to have you too, but there’s just something convincing you he’s lying, that one day he is going to turn around and decide to leave.

Sniffling, you fold up a wad of toilet paper and bring it to your face, wiping your eyes one last time. You throw it into the toilet from your place on the cold tile floor and grab onto the edge of the sink to help hoist yourself up. You see your reflection in the mirror and let out a long, shaky breath. You were seemingly done crying, using the last 45 minutes as a good release, and your legs wobbled as you stood. 

You turned on the tap, feeling the cool water on your fingers. Gathering some water in your hands, you bring the coolness up to your face, gently pressing your face, and massaging around your eyes, attempting to wrangle the puffiness of your post-sob face. The cold water was refreshing and helped to bring you back to reality.

A few minutes later you were ready to face the world again, the world inside your apartment at least. Unlocking the bathroom door, you take one final deep breath. You swing the door open and nearly scream. There, leaning against the wall opposite, is Chan. 

“Jesus Christ.” You clutch your chest.

“Sorry, I did text you but,” he trails off. Oh, right. You didn’t have your phone on you, you had left it in the living room.

“Oh, sorry, yeah, it’s in the other room. How long have you been here?” You ask. He must have let himself in with the spare key you had given him.

“Uh, not long, maybe 15 minutes?” He stands up, awkwardly. You think he’s lying to save you the embarrassment.

“Oh,” you say, neither of you really knowing where to go with this.

“I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Are you okay?”

You speak at the same time. Your eyes widen at his question, and you think for a second that you look like a deer in headlights.

“Ah, yeah, I got a free evening so thought I’d come over,” he explains. “But maybe I should’ve waited for a response.”

“No it’s okay, I was just, thinking too much.” You don’t know what to say. He opens his arms and you fall into them, wrapping around you gently.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” He speaks softly into your hair.

“I think I’d cry again.”

“That’s okay, you’re allowed to cry.”

You take a deep breath hearing his words and you feel everything coming back.

“Hey, let’s get you somewhere comfy first, sofa or bed?” 

“Bed,” you mumble into his chest. He’s wearing a soft, black hoodie that smells just like him, the scent of his cologne faintly clinging to the material. With ease, he guides you to your bedroom, and you get into the safety of your covers. He excuses himself for a second, and leaves the room, returning a few minutes later with a few things. Your phone is one of them, your heart crying a little as you read his texts from earlier on the lock screen. He climbs into bed next to you and gets comfy. You keep him at a distance, thinking it would be better to put space between yourself. He insists on at least holding your hand.

“Okay, tell me everything.”

“I’m just feeling insecure. It’s stupid, but I can’t stop thinking about it. I feel like I don’t deserve any of this.” You begin to put it into words.

“This?” he asks, gently.

“You, Chan. I don’t deserve you, and I know I do, I know you’ll say I do, but my brain is so good at convincing me, and I don’t know how to get her to shut up. Like, I look in the mirror and I don’t understand why you love me, like look at you, you’re perfect, I’m not.” You see his eyebrows furrow but you don’t give him a chance to say anything.

“I just feel so fundamentally unlovable, which is stupid, but there’s just something in my head. And I’m so scared, I’m scared that I let you in fully, and get so comfortable with you, and one day you decide I’m too much, or not enough, or too weird, or too something, and you leave me for some stupid or shallow reason that I was a fool to think wouldn’t happen.” The tears are flowing now, not as hard as before but you wipe at them. You’re no longer looking at Chan, but down at your hands where your fingers are pulling threads from the bed sheets. 

“So I guess my head has just decided that you’re better off without me, and I want  to disagree so badly, but she’s so fucking convincing, Chan, I’m sorry.” You wipe at your tears roughly, but Chan quickly replaces your hands with his own, taking your face in his hands gently. His thumbs are wiping at the tears still slowly falling.

“Hey, it’s okay. Just breathe.” You do as he says, and your tears begin to slow down even more. 

“Can I say something?” Chan says after a minute. You nod, preparing for the worst.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Your eyes look up and meet his, a look of sincerity in his own glassy eyes.

“I could never leave you, not as easy as you seem to think. No part of you could be too much or too little, or too anything for me. I love you. I love all of you. I love the parts of you I’ve seen, and I can’t wait to see the parts I haven’t seen yet so that I can love them too. I know this isn’t easy, I feel the same things sometimes, but you just have to believe me, and if you ever doubt me, I will fight you.” He ends with a chuckle. 

“Okay?” He runs his fingers through your hair gently. You nod, smiling.

“Also, who are you to decide who I love, hm?” he asks.

“An idiot,” you mumble, making him chuckle.

“I decide who I love, got it? I am choosing to love you.”

You nod your head, utterly defeated, and fall into his chest. He catches you swiftly, rubbing your back with one hand and petting your hair with the other. After a few minutes, you pop your head up to look at him. He looks at you questioningly.

“Be honest, how long were you here before I came out of the bathroom?”

“Oh, I, uh, think I heard most of it,” he says sheepishly. You groan, burying your face into his chest once more. You feel him laugh more than you hear it. 

“Thank you,” you say.

“For what?”

“I don’t know…” you trail off. “Loving me? Letting me cry? Being here? Something like that.” You play with one of his hoodie strings, avoiding his intense stare.

“Something like that,” he repeats quietly, half chuckling at your words. “Of course, I'd do all those things, I love you.”

“I love you too,” you say, finally looking up at him. He’s smiling at you, eyes soft. You lean up and press a kiss to his soft lips. He accepts it, indulging you for a few seconds until he pulls back. You’re about to pout but he catches you off guard by planting kiss after kiss on your face. Your cheeks, nose, forehead, and finally your mouth once more. You’re giggling by the time he’s done, and he pulls back, eyes sparkling. 

“Feeling any better?” he asks.

“No, I think I need one more.” You giggle up at him. He rolls his eyes but leans down, capturing your lips in a soft kiss that the both of you are smiling into. The kiss feels right, and for the first time in a little while, the voice in the back of your head is quiet.

taglist (lmk if u wanna be added!): @lethallyprotected

[fayesia]

Day 2 - praise

"Babysitter" - Sub!Mike x reader

ִֶָ𓂃˖ ִֶָ✰࿐ warnings - sex replacing money, dry humping, whiny!Mike, dom!reader, praise (duh)

ִֶָ𓂃˖ ִֶָ✰࿐ wc - 985

Babysitting was one of the highlights of your week. Going from numerous kids a week, you now only babysat one alongside your new part-time job.

Abby was your favourite by far. Her overjoyed personality was easily enough to raise your spirits whenever you felt like life wasn't going your way. Just a few hours a week with her allowed you to balance out the draining days of work.

Hearing her talk about each drawing she had done without you, the details of the specific colours used and the arrangement of each figure on the paper was a topic you listened to her excitedly talk about for ages.

You knew that's something she needed. Having only mentioned her brother a few times, you gathered that he was her sole caretaker and worked night shifts.

Recently Abby changed her hour long talks from her drawing to the nights spent at her brothers work place, you've now been told that Mike works as a night security guard for a place that shut down years ago.

Explains why he didn't hire you for every night.

Normally, the money owed was on the living room table, stamped onto it by a mug filled with the remnants of what looked like morning coffee. Yet tonight, as you grabbed your bag after putting Abby to bed, the money was nowhere, just the lone mug.

As much as you did this job for Abby, you also really needed the money. So you waited. Mike would probably come home soon, or so you thought, and within a few minutes of waiting on the couch, it seemed the tiring day had caught up to you.

Your head hitting the arm rest with your bag still hanging off your shoulder.

You're startled awake, the feeling of a hand quickly moving off your shoulder waking you.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you"

Meekly looking down at you was Abbys brother, Mike, his hands awkwardly shifting in his pockets.

"No, it's fine I should be on my way, must be pretty late"

Nodding his head he watched you stand ready to walk you to the door but you stopped.

"Hey uhm I didn't notice any cash on the table, just wondering if you mightve forgotten...or something"

You're friendly tone faltered as you saw the small smile drops from Mike's face.

"Yeah, sorry about that. i-its just that, I just got the new job, and they haven't given me my first pay cheque. I can check if I've got any cash saved in my room -"

You cut him off grabbing him by the hand as he turned to the direction of his room.

Holding onto it your thumb stroked the back of his hand, your eyes raking down his frame and back to his eyes full of stress and exhaustion.

"Listen it's fine, I work a part time so I can do without the pay for this week, at least."

You observed the breath of relief as he thanked you, a sudden urge of confidence rushing through you.

"Maybe you could pay me another way though..?"

Mike quizzically looked down at you, confusion soon erased off his face once you took another step forward now chest to chest with him.

Your lips quickly met his while you dragged him back to the couch, climbing onto his lap to straddle him. Parting from him a strand of spit connecting your lips to his, Mike's eyes were blown wide his pupils filling a large part of his brown iris'.

"Shit..this is..we can't your Abbys babysitter..fuck - wait keep going."

Mike's contradicting words were easily swayed to those of agreement as your hips dragged forward and backwards against his growing erection.

"You like that don't you, hm"

"Fuck yes please-please don't stop"

His hands had a tight grip on either side of your hips, you swiftly pulling them up and under your shirt, letting him explore your bra covered chest. His hands ferociously moved at the access to your skin, one travelling under your bra to caress the supple skin and growing bud.

With his head tilted back, you easily leaned forward, biting and kissing at Mike's neck, bruises had already begun to form. The soft pink hues were sure to transform into dark red bruises by morning.

He lets out whimpers at each of your movements, his hips now thrusting upwards to match with your own rhythm.

"Such a good boy" breathlessly you remove your shirt and unclipped your bra letting it fall to the floor, your pants joining the building pile of clothes.

Now, just in your panties, you straddled Mike again, but this time his dick was out, hard, wet, and thick. You rubbed against his erection, now it was just a thin piece of material separating your soaking pussy from Mike's cock.

He reacted even more needy to this, whines and pleas coming from his mouth.

"Please, wanna cum- please let me cum."

Panting out you placed your hand on his shoulder for balance, your hips moving more erratically.

"Wait baby, just a bit more-oh my fuck..I'm gonna come"

Looking into Mike's eyes, his Adams apple bobs up and down, they trail down your body before making eye contact again. A dazed look across both of your faces.

"Too much-im gonna cum"

Shaking your head side to side you crashed your lips against his, the wet saliva coating both of your swollen lips. Your tongue easily dominates his and its like he's become putty, you could make him do anything right now.

The kiss sends you over the edge, the coil snapping inside you, and you no longer hear Mike's whiny whimpers while your eyes are shut so tightly all you see are white flashes.

Coming back to reality, you feel thick, gooey liquid seeping into the material of your panties. Stroking the side of Mike's face, you head rest against his shoulder,

"Good boy did so good f'me"

Kinktober Masterlist

[queenshelby]

Chemical Reactions (P. 6)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy as J Robert Oppenheimer x Student Reader

Warning: Smut, Age-Gap, Infidelity

Words: 4,905

Note: The fic is spoiler free and my own fantasy and imagination. It is not historically and scientifically accurate.

Previous Parts: 1; 2; 3; 4; 5

“You really want to have this discussion now?” you sighed before reaching for the packet of cigarettes which you kept on the ledge of your chalkboard while leaning back against it. You were still half naked and your bare breasts were exposed.

“Considering the circumstances, I think that we must talk about it now. I understand if you would rather save yourself for someone who…” Robert began to say as you handed him your cigarette and before you interrupting him.

“Listen Robert, the fact that you are married doesn’t bother me and, clearly, it doesn’t bother you either as, otherwise, you wouldn’t have kissed me” you said before snatching the cigarette from his hand again, causing Robert to furrow his eyebrows.

“Now that, too, is presumptuous” he ought to point out in respect of which you laughed.

“Is it though?” you chuckled before expanding on the topic of fidelity. “I suppose your reputation precedes you. Despite, I know about Jean Tatlock and your affair with Ruth Tolman” you told him, causing Robert’s chin to drop. He sighed again and then he asked “how did you know?” to which, of course, you had already formulated a response in the back of your head.

“Women talk. Barbara Chevalier and Ruth Tolman are friends and I have overheard a few conversations between them since living here” you admitted to Robert before handing the cigarette back to him.

“Well, for the record, my affairs with these women are in the past. I have ended them both” Robert explained before inhaling the smoke of the cigarette without realising that, for you, the fact that he had ended those affairs, did not make a difference.

“Dr Oppenheimer, with respect, none of this really concerns me. I am not your wife” you chuckled, causing Robert’s eyes to widen. He was surprised by your attitude towards this topic and now regretted the fact that he had spoken up about it before he even had the chance to be with you, at least that once.

“I suppose we have officially passed the need for formalities, don’t you think?” Robert asked. “So please, call me Robert” he then said and you took him up on his offer while still standing there with the fabric of your dress stacked up over your hips and your bare nipples pointing right at him.

“Alright, Robert” you said before giving him a cheeky smile. “Now, let me tell you something about myself” you then told him and, sure enough, he was keen to hear about your thoughts on the current situation.

“I am a woman who does not believe in love or marriage, both of which are social conventions invented by human kind without any scientific backing whatsoever. In my opinion, questions concerning marital fidelity are minuscule in today’s society where one race is trying very hard to destroy another. We have bigger issues to worry about than our own emotions” you began to explain before snatching the cigarette from Robert’s hands again and continuing with your explanation. “What I do, however, believe in is physical and intellectual attraction giving rise to a connection between two people. I believe that we have such connection but, if you do not feel the same way, then perhaps you are right and this should stop now” you then said before disposing of the fag and stepping towards Robert again who looked both, stunned and confused.

“I haven’t met anyone quite like you and I am astonished by how mature you are at such a young age” he said in an almost whispering voice while caressing your face again gently. He was looking at you with desire and need again before, somewhat expectedly, pressing his lips onto yours for a split second before you pulled away from him once more.

“Unfortunatly maturity doesn’t necessarily translate to experience, as you will soon find out” you blushed, causing Robert to look at you in awe.

“I am sure you will do just fine” he teased, causing you to chuckle and roll your eyes all at the same time before you reached up and pulled his mouth to yours again.

The touch of his warm lips brushing against yours caused a thrill of excitement to rush through you. Robert’s kiss was soft, gentle, and then became more urgent as you opened your mouth to accept his tongue. Even though this was not your first kiss, you almost felt as if it was. This would be a night of firsts for both of you and your heart pounded so hard it hurt as you kissed him back fervently

“Come on” Robert then whispered after pulling away from you and guiding you towards the bed, which is when you quickly shuffled your dress down over your hips and disposed of it on the floor.

“Robert?” you then said with a husky voice before laying down on your back and looking up at him nervously as he disposed of the rest of his clothes as well, expect for his briefs.

“Yes? What is it?” he asked before joining you and hovering over you while caressing your face gently. He looked at you in awe and his eyes were reassuring.

“Take it slow, please” you whispered nervously before reaching up to run your hands through his hair.

“Of course. That goes without saying” Robert reassured you before he kissed you again and, this time around, he was deepening and lengthening the kiss, showing you just how much he wanted and desired you.

As you were kissing passionately, his hands reached around to caress you, causing your mostly naked bodies to rub against each other. Your bare breasts were now trapped against his chest and the feel of his warm body atop of yours caused shivers run down your spine.

Coming up to breathe, Robert eventually pulled away from you a little and, when he did, the tingling sensation he left behind on your lips made you smile.

Robert returned the smile you gave him and the smile that crossed his face warmed your trembling limbs and hid your excited nervousness. Despite the fact that you wanted this man more than anyone you had ever known, you felt somehow unstable when finally being faced with the idea of being intimate with someone else for the first time in your life.

The bravado you usually wore like a shield around him seemed to desert you, and even though you he couldn’t see much more than your face in this position, you felt naked under Robert’s heated gaze. You suddenly worried about your inexperience and you wondered whether this was actually a good idea.

Robert saw the panic of insecurity rise in your eyes, and he reached out to gently push a stray strand of hair behind your ear and grazed your bottom lip with his thumb before bringing his mouth to yours again. It was a slow kiss, deepening as his desire built even further. He knew he needed to go slow with you, take you gently and he hoped he could.

A hot rush travelled through your body as you responded to his kiss and felt his body shift, now enabling to graze his hands over your breasts.

“You are so beautiful” Robert then whispered before allowing not only his hands, but also his lips, to travel and you gasped as, eventually, you felt him nuzzle into your neck and trace your collarbone with his lips.

“That feels nice” you acknowledged as Robert was trailing his fingers over your skin and then you even moaned somewhat inadvertently when he brushed his fingers across your nipples. They surged under his caress and sent piercing streaks of arousal to your core. His caress was like a hot spark, and his touch excited you like you had not believed possible. You did not know how you could withstand his hands on the naked skin of your breasts for long but you knew that you had to try.

As Robert gazed over your naked flesh, you felt a blush creep up your neck. His eyes were so dark and full of lust, unlike anything else you had ever seen before and, just when Robert noticed your nervousness again, he pulled his hands away slightly, giving you some more time.

“Am I moving too fast?” he asked but you shook your head.

"No!” you groaned. “Touch me and kiss me again, please" you begged and you hoped that your voice would sound strong and self-assured. Unfortunately, you could not pull it off, and it shook with pure anxiety.

"As you wish” Robert chuckled before finally cupping one of your breasts and leaning down to slowly and gently swipe his tongue across one hard nipple.

"Oh my god" you whimpered as Robert teased the hard, little bud with his lips and rolled the other stiff nipple between two fingers.

“God, huh?” Robert teased. “I never expected to ever hear this word coming from your mouth…how unscientific of you…” he then joked just as you watched him lean over you.

“Just shut up and keep doing whatever you were doing to me. I am begging you, Robert” you joked for a moment while trying to pull his lips closer to your breasts again, which is when he took your thus-far neglected nipple into his warm mouth. He licked and sucked, alternating between the two stiff peaks, until you trembled and gasped on the edge of something you had never experienced before.

“Fuck, Robert” You felt feverish with excitement. Your mouth was dry, but your body was more alive than it had ever been before. Without him having even touched your mound, it was wet, yet felt as if it was on fire and throbbing with need. Shivers of anticipation shot up your spine, and you sucked your breath in raggedly as Robert dragged his insistent tongue down, letting it trail over your belly and to your navel.

“So perfect” Robert then murmured against your skin as he took his time exploring your body, trailing his fingers and mouth over your belly and thighs, before running them teasingly over the lace of your panties, making you moan loudly.

“Jesus Christ” you cursed, moaned and groaned in pleasure, causing Robert to look up at you and furrow his eyebrows.

“Don’t stop” you demanded as he was looking at you now with a cheeky smile having formed across his face and you tried to squirm up against him to simply gain some friction.

"I won’t, but I want to see all of you before I continue” Robert then said as his voice was thick with longing.

“Okay” you murmured in response, sounding desperate and anxious all at the same time. Your panties were moist, evidence of your excitement, and you were certain that he could smell your arousal as you hooked your thumbs inside the waistband of the lacy panties and wriggled out of them. You felt exposed, vulnerable, but also incredibly excited by the expression on his face, as he watched you offer your body to him. His expression showed eagerness, pleasure and even greed, you thought. There was no sign of the trepidation you had expected to see there.

“Now you” you then winked and, without taking his gaze from you, Robert stripped his briefs off quickly, throwing them to the side of the bed.

When you saw his erection, your breath caught in your throat. This was the first time you looked at a man’s most intimate body part, and in your virgin mind, it appeared impossibly thick and long. Your mound throbbed at the sight of it, but your stomach churned in repressed fear.

Eventually, you decided to proceed and Robert’s hands moved slowly and tenderly over your body again, pushing the anxiety from your mind as they wandered over your contours and cupped your mound gently. You groaned softly as his fingers caressed the lips, wet with your arousal, and then slid between their moistness into the entrance of your pussy.

"You are so wet” Robert then said as he buried his face against your neck while probing your entrance some more.

“Uh huh” you moaned in response as you moved your pelvis in time with his probing fingers. They were curious and insistent and were creating marvellous sensations in your core.

“Oh god Robert. This feels so nice” you eventually groaned as you spread your legs wider but your voice faded as Robert took immediate advantage of your pleasure, dipping his finger deeper inside your wetness. Your hips jerked suddenly at the unfamiliar sensation of being penetrated.

"I am sorry. I will go slow" Robert said, realising that this was too quick and too soon for you and, just as he let his thumb circle and caress the hood of your swollen clit, he could feel the heavy beating of your heart. Its rhythm matched his own, but the throbbing in his groin was wilder than he could remember.

“This feels incredible” you spoke with laboured breath and took every ounce of Robert’s willpower to restrain himself and not plough into you immediately. The scent of your mound was driving him wild, and it looked so good. All soft, swollen and slick with your excitement. It was the most welcoming sight he had seen in a long time.

“I want to taste you. May I?” Robert then whispered and your eyes widened. You knew what this meant and the thought of it alone aroused you incredibly.

“Yes” you thus moaned and, unable to restrain his need to taste your properly, Robert kissed down your body again so that he could let his tongue slide through your glistening labia and taste your delicious essence as his lips sought out your fleshy clit.

"Oh, fuck! Robert. Oh my god!” you moaned, squirming under his mouth. Your nails dug into his scalp to hold him there. You did not want him to ever stop. His tongue was creating sensations in you that you had never experienced before. Masturbation had always been good for you. You knew how to use your fingers expertly to bring yourself to climax, but this was different. It was warmer, wetter and more teasing, with an intense build up that made you want to thrash around and cry out in pleasure and frustration. You rocked your pelvis against his mouth, your inhibitions fading into the background of the sensations he gave you. You moved with him, demanding more as he licked and explored you.

Eventually, a squeal of pure pleasure tore from your lips as your spasms started deep inside. You trembled and gasped at the sensations that raced through your body exploded in a wave of pleasure that radiated back throughout your body again. As the waves of sensation crossed each other, you swore you would pass out. You held on to the here and now, enjoying the wild ride, and when you opened your eyes at last, you found Robert smiling at you.

"Fuck Robert, that was amazing. I had no idea! Is that how it feels for you? I mean, would it work the same way if I did this to you?" you asked, boldly reaching out to caress the rigid cock pressed into your side, eager at the thought of giving him the same pleasure he had just given you. It was hot and hard in your hands, and a small trickle of precum dribbled from the darkly coloured tip.

“Properly” Robert acknowledged and you moved to a better position and bent your head to tentatively stroke the velvety shaft against the side of your soft cheek, before dragging the tip of your tongue over the crown. Very gently, you drew it into your mouth and sucked slowly, lovingly, savouring his meaty thickness. You were surprised by your own enjoyment of this. You had never even contemplated it before.

"Fuck, I won't be able to hold out for too long, if you do that for much longer” Robert groaned after fifteen minutes or so as he watched you latch your soft lips onto his throbbing hardness. You moaned, overcome with the sensation of having him in your mouth and the taste of his excitement.

"Then don't. Cum in my mouth. I am curious about what it tastes like” you said quite honestly after lifting your lips from his cock and looking up at him through hooded lids that only served to stoke the fire of his desire to even higher levels.

"No. I don’t want to cum. Not yet" Robert groaned nonetheless before he gently pulled you from his cock before pushing you back onto your back playfully. "The first time I cum tonight will be inside of you" he then grimaced and a rush of adrenaline shot through you as he moved between your thighs.

“If this is still what you want…” Robert then ought to confirm and you nodded eagerly.

“Yes. It is what I want Robert. I want to feel you inside of me” you told him just as you felt the heat coming off his body when he nudged himself against the moist outer lips of your pussy. You spread your legs, and he rubbed the head of his cock over your slickness. He hesitated for a second before, eventually, leaning forward and supporting himself with his arms.

He then pressed ahead, pushing himself into you slowly and carefully while looking for cues of any discomfort on your face. His attention was focused on the warm, wet feeling of your lips surrounding his cock. They opened slowly to him, and he slowly pushed himself into the velvety depths of you with a pleasurable groan. He hadn't been sure if he had been expecting the barrier of a hymen, given the fact that you admitted that you masturbated, but there was only a small amount of resistance to overcome as he continued to push into you with slow, gentle thrusts.

“Robert! Fuck!” you moaned eventually while digging your nails into his arms and shoulders. Your voice was tremulous and shaky as he filled you and stretched you beyond what you had known.

Hearing your tremulous moan, Robert thrust forward sharply now and groaned as he slid all the way up inside you. You winced and bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from crying out. Your breathing was fast and shallow as your channel opened and stretched to take all of him. Despite the soreness and feeling of being overfull, it was a wondrous moment for you, finally knowing what it felt like to have a man buried inside you.

"You are so incredibly tight” Robert gasped at the snugness of you, barely holding onto his self-control. Now that he was in deeper, surrounded by your wetness, he was careful not to move, to let your get used to the feel of him inside you. It almost killed him not to plunge repeatedly into your pussy. His cock felt harder than it ever had and your cries of pleasure, knowing no one had ever made your feel like this, made him feel more virile, more potent than he ever had.

"You don't have to hold back Robert" you breathed into his neck as you clung to him. You wrapped your legs around his hips and raked your nails down his back as he sunk deeper into you. The eyes looking down at you were tinged with concern and fire, but you wanted his desire, his passion, to feel beautiful in his arms. You wanted him to make love to you, but you also wanted him to fuck you. You wanted to experience everything you had heard others talk about over so many years, all at once, even though you knew it was unfair to expect so much from this one man alone.

He moved his hips slowly, sliding his cock back and forth inside you, letting your get used to the rhythm. You moved with him, intuitively pushing your pelvis upwards as he slid into you. Each time he buried himself inside of you, your clit was trapped against the upper side of his shaft. You moaned loudly at the exquisite sensations and ground your mound up against him even harder, pumping back faster, until the sounds of your bodies slapping against each other and the squelching sound of their passionate fucking sent a wave of need and pure lust through him.

"Oh god. Keep going" you gasped, licking his neck and biting at his shoulders. "Don't hold back. Please, I need you to take me” you gasped again, unbelieving that you had said the words that chased around your brain out loud. You felt confident now. You felt safe. And you most certainly felt incredible.

Your words caused the blood to rush through Robert’s veins. He stared into your desire-filled gaze but, when his eyes locked with yours, a deeper connection hit him with more force than he had ever known with another woman before.

"Y/N. Oh god. I want you so fucking much” Robert groaned and since he didn’t usually swear or use the name of the holy lord, his very own words surprised him. Your name tore from his lips as he plundered your body, changing positions twice, before finding himself atop of you again.

His tongue drove into your mouth, sweeping inside, tasting, commanding, and taking what he needed. He could no longer restrain himself and he let himself go, fucking you the way he had wanted to ever since you had appeared in his life. With a growl of pure lust, he pumped his hips, plunging into you over and over. He could not get deep enough.

"Oh god, Robert. Take me” you moaned over and over again as he drove into you. Your body arched and undulated under his fevered lovemaking. The muscles of your channel clenched and spasmed around his length as a great bubble of pleasure rose up from your toes, engulfed you and burst into shards of explosive release that had you shuddering and sobbing.

"Let go for me Y/N” Robert groaned while he pinched your nipples, and you cried out again.

Your face and torso were flushed, your breath raspy, as you writhed beneath him and clawed at him while your body peaked again. You then cried out once more, and he lost it. A roar exploded from him as his body crested and he toppled over the edge. His length throbbed and pulsed, spilling his anguish and a steady stream of cum into you. He collapsed on you gasping, trying to regain his breath.

"Don't move, please" you said, your face still flushed with your excitement. You stroked his hair lovingly. "I like the way you feel inside me” you said while enjoying the little ebbing ripples from your tight walls against his cock. He smiled and kissed your lips softly and you continued this for a while until, eventually, he pulled out of you which caused some of your combined juices to leak from your slit and on to the sheets.

“So how did I do, Robert? Just fine?” you then asked just as Robert rolled to his side, facing you and caressing your face while you thought about this incredible explosive feeling he made you experience just moments ago.

“I actually cannot recall the last time I had sex that good” he gasped. His breath was still laboured as he looked at you and smiled.

“I am sure you say this to everyone” you joked after pressing a quick kiss on to Robert’s lips and before sitting up straight when, suddenly, it hit you and you came up with an idea.

“No, actually, I don’t” Robert said as he watched you get out of bed abruptly. “What are you doing?” he thus asked while you tippy toed across the room before standing right in front of the chalkboard in order to ask him a question.

“Have you figured how to get your hands on enough uranium yet? Because, going by my estimates, I believe that the US will never be able to secure enough for more than one bomb unless they work with their allies?” you then said somewhat suddenly, causing Robert to sit up as well and furrow his eyebrows.

“You know I cannot talk about this Y//N” he told you as you picked up the chalk and began to write down a formula.

“Alright, you don’t have to tell me anything. I do the talking and you take away what you want from it” you said as, still in your naked form, you wrote down a few calculations from your head.

“Y/N, your calculations don’t make sense…” Robert interrupted you until he realised that you were talking about two entirely different substances now.

“We aren’t talking about uranium anymore, are we?” he thus ought to clarify, causing you to chuckle.

“Well, you aren’t talking at all Robert. You can’t tell me anything, remember?” you teased before telling him that it was plutonium which you based your calculations on rather than uranium.

“Plutonium is too fragile” Robert pointed out which is when you dropped the chalk back on to the ledge of the board and shrugged your shoulders.

“Yes it is fragile, but it is powerful and you can extract more” you pointed out while, elegantly, crawling back into bed.

“It’s impractical nonetheless. It will be much more difficult to build a bomb using plutonium” Robert said while sill glancing at your calculations.

“Probably, which is why you need a bunch of people as smart as you are to figure out a way to make it work” you told him, causing Robert to pull you atop of him and kiss you again.

“There is something incredibly sexy about watching you calculate a reaction, completely naked, while talking to me about atoms” he then determined, earning him yet another quiet chuckle.

“If you say so” you teased while giving in to his many kisses and caresses.

“How do you feel about moving to the dessert with me?” Robert then wanted to know, causing you to pull away from him.

“You want me to come on to the project with you?” you asked somewhat surprised seeing that you were not even a postgrad student yet which, in your mind, made you unqualified.

“Yes. In fact, I think I need you” Robert told you nonetheless and with a great sense of determination, causing you to shake your head.

“You don’t need me Robert” you chuckled, seeing that he probably already had a group of well-known scientists on board, none of whom you could compete with.  

“But I do need you and it would just be you and me, working together during the day and then doing this at night” Robert responded to your statement while gently running his hands over your bare skin again in a suggestive kind of manner.

“Just you and me, huh?” you moaned before pushing Robert’s hand out of the way. “What about your wife?” you wanted to know, seeing that, no doubt, she would be there too.

“She has no desire to live in the middle of nowhere for a year or two, because this is how long it will take to make this bomb. She is not coming” Robert informed you while caressing your skin again, teasing you and making you ache with need and desire for him.

“Robert…” you gasped before his lips silenced you gently, kissing you passionately.

“Just think about it” he then told you after your lips drifted apart, causing you to nod.

“I will think about it and, maybe, there is a way you could make this proposal a little more appealing to me” you suggested just before you pushed Robert beneath you and assumed authority over him.

“How?” he asked while feeling your hand gently wrap around his hardening shaft.

“Well, for starters, you could fuck me again” you teased while stroking him.

“Right now?” Robert groaned while, again, you lined the head of his hard member up with your entrance, causing you to nod.

“Yes, right fucking now” you determined before sinking down on his cock, engulfing him completely, which was something you continued for a quite some time.

In fact, you made love for what felt like hours, up until one or two o’clock at night, following which Robert stayed with you, sharing a bed just like any other ordinary couple would until, suddenly, at 6 o’clock in the morning, you were startled by the arrival of someone unexpected, barging into your room.

To be continued…

Please comment and engage. I love getting comments and predictions pretty please!

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@lost-fantasy

@tiredkitten

@sidechrisporn

@smallsoulunknown

@charqing-qing

@hopefulinlove

@aporiasposts

@shycrybaby

@me-and-your-husband

@hjmalmed

@lacontroller1991

@galxydefender

@aporiasposts

@multifans-things

@galxydefender

@hunnibearrr

@saint-ackerman

@raineeace

@lunyyx

@gentlemonsterjennie1

@littlewolfiieposts

@ihavealotoffandomssorry

@tn22220-blog

@nadloves​

@lost-fantasy​

@noluces​

@mcavoy-girl​

@hjmalmed​

@yogurt567

@bloodybagels​

@obeyme4life​

@richiesgroupie​

@blushykiss​

[brunossan]

About Syir, from Pokemadhouse

TW: Mentions of R4pe and Abu53

If you follow me for a while, must have seen my Pokemadhouse rage about Syir The Gardevoir.

But unfortunally i never explained WHY i hate her so much and why my blood boils when i talk about her.

So, here is the big explanation, in topics.

1-So, who is Syir and what did she do?

Syir is a character from Poke Madhouse, a now deleted pokemon comic made by Lily and Mikaila Orchard that talks about a pokemon world and the lives of their ocs and their pokemon in a house.

In this world Gardevoirs are the most dangerous and powerful species of pokemon, and Syir is a Female Gardevoir whose trainer is nothless than Diantha, The Kalos Champion.

And not only that, she and Diantha are implied on being in a relationship, wich in Poke Madhouse world is seen as the worst crime a person can do, even if its consensual. Gardevoirs are the biggest victims in this, as Lily even said People call them "The Waifu Pokemon", and doesnt help they do a thing called Mating Bond, where they use their psych powers to fuse their lives together.

And in this case, if you think they have a very good relationship...

ITS NOT WHAT HAPPENS HERE.

Diantha in the comics is coerced by her Gardevoir into sexual relationships, even using her psych powers to rape her. And she cant escape or cut the bond, as Syir use it to control and track her, like a leash. Also, Syir kills anyone who discovers about the True nature of their relationship, and its implied in some comics that everyone knows the nature of their relationship but dont do anything in fear of getting killed next.

2-Why no one tried to stop her?

A thing from Poke Madhouse is that Gardevoirs are in risk of extinction and have very short lifespans because of excessive breeding to get perfect Gardevoirs and shinies (Basically Lily dissing People who do this). So they are an endangered species. Also, this was Lily decision, without any reason besides "why not?"

There were at least 3 People who gave reasonable plans to defeat her. Poison, Guns, attack with pokemons with type advantage. All good and reasonable things within pokemon universe. However, all Lily answered them was a meme.

This meme

Basically, the answer to everyone wanting to defeat Syir. Literally a "You cant" in form of a bad meme.

Lily says that Syir is too powerful and evil to be defeated, to the point there's nothing anyone can do. Even G and C!Lily couldnt. Hell even Bonnie cant stop her, lily said that if they met Bonnie would cry and hide.

Actually, this will be the final topic, the reason i hate her.

3-Snitches get Stitches

In 2020, Lily added a thing in Madhouse wikia Page of Syir, currently deleted by her. She added a small lore info about Diantha and Syir.

Diantha one day managed to escape Syir and tried to find Help on the last person who tried to stop her Gardevoir: C!Lily.

C!Lily was an enforcer, a kind of pokemon cop, who really tried to stop Syir. However, Syir almost murdered both her and G, wich made C!Lily abandon all investigation she made, and made her terrified of Syir.

Diantha begged her for help, to find a way to save her. But C!Lily didnt wanted to help, because Syir threatened to kill everyone who she loved if she tried anything.

So what C!Lily did?

She gave Diantha back to Syir.

She GAVE. AN ABUSE VICTIM. BACK TO ITS ABUSER.

Now you get it why i feel so much hate towards her?

I dont care about any drama of hers, i cant EXCUSE THAT SHE WROTE SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND WANTS ME TO LIKE HER CHARACTERS.

TO LIKE G, C!LILY OR ANYONE ELSE.

She May have deleted the original pages and only left the nuke attack she gave to Syir.

But i will never forget what she did.

And i will never forgive.

[sunfish-studies]

Small Talk

✄・・・ Crisp Leaves [Aoba Johsai Manager Series]

➜ Pairing: Aoba Johsai x Manager! Reader

➜ Warning: none

➜ Notes: Manager in this story will be portrayed as a girl. She will be tall, around 170.5 cm.

↷ SUMMARY ↶

Yes, they were wondering about your almost nonexistent love live.

“Hey, [Nickname]-chan, I’ve been thinking about this really hard,” Oikawa drawled after swallowing his favorite milk bread, cheek resting on top of the desk.

“Knowing Oikawa is thinking hard, must be something stupid,” Hanamaki commented.

“Why did you say that so casually!?” sure enough, the slander managed to revive the captain from his slump–shooting out from his seat almost instantly.

Currently, it was lunch and the third years were hanging out at Iwaizumi and your class–pushing your desks together and pulled up a few chairs to accommodate five people at the same time. While you packed your own lunch and Oikawa brought his milk bread, the rest was taking a short journey to the cafeteria for food.

“I couldn’t help but agree,” Matsukawa added, hurting the boy’s pride even further.

“[Nickname]-chan!” of course, the best way for him to be out of this misery is to call out for your help.

“What is it?” you decided to indulge him this time because the captain seemed to be invested in this certain topic each minute passed.

Oikawa pointed at you before moving to gesture Hanamaki, Matsukawa, and Iwaizumi along with him including. “You are surrounded by boys.”

Furrowing your eyebrows in confusion, you answered nonetheless. “…I can see that.”

“A lot of boys for more than three years!”

“Well, I am the manager of the boys’ volley club if you forget.”

“What are you on about?” Iwaizumi deadpanned, not liking how this certain topic stretched out–the ‘ridiculous alarm’ in the back of his head was ringing, signaling that indeed this conversation went from least normal to weird in an alarming rate.

“Don’t you see, Iwa-chan!?” Oikawa gasped dramatically, pointing towards you in earnest. “[Nickname]-chan is surrounded by boys for more than three years! You bound to like some at some point! Why have I never heard about this!? I thought I’m your best friend!”

There’s a pregnant silence before Hanamaki broke it by remarking, “You really are a moron.”

Oikawa pressed a hand upon his chest, faking as if an arrow just stabbed through his heart–not believing this sort of betrayal. “I’m hurt Makki!”

“But he does have a point,” Matsukawa, with his saving grace, decided to take this into his account for once. He looked at you for a moment and hummed. “I mean, everyone has been through that phase somehow. Wanna share?”

“Thank you for making my point valid!” Oikawa harrumphed in triumph, which earned him a disgusted gaze from Iwaizumi.

You sighed in resignation, finally getting into conclusion. “To put it simple, you want to know about my nonexistent love life?”

“I’ve seen you getting confessed to by a senior so it’s not really nonexistent.” Hanamaki commented, pulling up a lazy smirk as he rested his chin on his palm–successfully dragged out another resigned sigh. And how did he even know that was beyond you.

“Well, what do you want to know?”

“Did you have a crush on someone during middle school!?” Oikawa exclaimed–the ruckus he caused managed to gather pairs of curious eyes diverting their gaze towards their table, and received a heartful smack on the back of his head courtesy of Iwaizumi.

“I did.” Your quick answer without a hint of hesitation made the four taken aback–definitely not expecting it. They were more ready with lots of stutter, reluctancy to reply, and flaming red engulfing your face as you confessed to them–the usual routine if someone ever dug other’s deepest secret.

“That was fast,” Matsukawa remarked, shoulders eased up a little. True, even though you’re practically under the spotlight of sudden interrogation you didn’t feel the need to be nervous or flustered–which kind of intimidated them a bit. Contrast to it, they were actually the ones who were tense with whatever answer you had in store–maybe this is what you called an anticipation.

They would declare themselves a hypocrite if not once they thought of you as someone who’s not attractive–considering you were getting attentions from others especially during official matches. They’re the opposite gender so of course they took it to their mind at some moment.

“So, who is it?” Hanamaki asked, rising a brow.

“Tooru.”

“…Please tell me you’re joking.” If short-circuiting is capable to happen in one’s brain, then Iwaizumi had that undoubtedly. You? Had a crush on Oikawa during middle school? At this moment, snowing in tropical regions would likely be more possible than your statement. Even Hanamaki and Matsukawa found themselves rendered speechless by your revelation.

“Sadly not,” all of his hope was crushed in an instant. You then directed a bored stare towards the said mentioned person. “To be honest, I’m questioning myself too. Do my taste really stooped that low?”

“Y-You’re mean, [Nickname]-chan!” Oikawa protested. “But it’s nice knowing my charms works on you!”

“Thank goodness you’ve opened your eyes for the truth, [First Name],” Matsukawa sighed in relief, incurring another series of protests from the brunette and a satisfied firm nod from Hanamaki.

“I’m assuming you’re not currently?” the pink-haired boy added which earned him a nod.

“I’m over it, it’s an old story after all,” You took a short second for swallowing before continuing, smiling playfully. “Knowing he’s vowed his unending loyalty to volleyball, I know when to back off.”

“You are a good person,” Hanamaki hummed in understanding. It’s difficult to recover from heartbreak or backing down from a certain feelings, you managed to do that for Oikawa earn another respect point from him. You thought of the brunette thoroughly unlike the girls he’s been with, you respect and fully support him instead of telling him to tone down his ambitions for aiming higher in volleyball.

“That, I can agree.” Unexpectedly, it came from the mentioned captain. His playfulness vanished as he moved to rested his chin on top of the desk. There’s solemn reflected on his eyes which you couldn’t quite decipher; was it guilt?

“If you’re thinking on apologizing then don’t,” Stating firmly, you placed your chopsticks down to emphasized. Because there’s nothing for him to apologize. Not with things which wasn’t in his control to begin with. “I can’t choose to who to like, and it’s my own decision anyway. If I felt hurt, it’s on me. You’re not responsible for any of it, Tooru. Besides, either it’s romantic or not, I still love you.”

People would take it as cringe worthy or too dramatic in modern era such as currently. However, that’s how feelings worked; sometimes extremely hard to put into words, sometimes it didn’t even need to be vocalized. Your words held honesty–no matter what, you cared for Tooru, Hajime, and the others immensely.

“[Nickname]-channn!!” As usual, there’s fake waterworks involved as soon as Oikawa successfully comprehended. As usual, he bolted from his seat to threw himself on you. Though, you keep it to yourself when you took a notice on how his hug was firmer than the usual playful ones.

Then there were more hands joining in; one settled on your head, one resting on your shoulder, and a little finger intertwined itself with yours. It was quite a sight to see, but you couldn’t care less.

You love your boys.

[powluna]

Hello, I absolutely adore the clothing you make for children, infants, toddlers, they are so cute!

However, I am aware of the fact that you do post your CC on Curseforge in addition to your own website and Patreon and given that the company that owns Curseforge, is them is an Israeli company that did a crowdfunding campaign for the IDF which supports the ongoing genocide against Palestinians, I want to ask if you could remove your downloads from Curseforge entirely. I hope this doesn't come off as demanding or aggressive in any way, but by divesting from Curseforge, we also divest from Israel's economy completely and perhaps it seems small in comparison, but it would be a small way to show support for Palestine. Thank you for listening, and again, I hope I don't come off as impolite in any way.

Hello to anon and everyone who might have been waiting for a response from me. I want to thank you for treating me with respect and that I have not (yet) received any threatening messages or similar. It is very difficult for me to write the following message in my native language, let alone post a translated version of it. Everything I write here comes from the heart and merely describes my personal situation.

First of all, I want to express that I, personally, and my internet persona "PowLuna" in no way stand for oppression, violence, exclusion, or worse. The situation has certainly not passed me by—quite the opposite. The discourse on the topic has caused me to engage deeply with the subject, keep myself regularly updated, and talk a lot about it in my personal environment, educating others. Due to experiences I had as a teenager, I no longer express my opinions regarding a lot of topics on the internet. However, I must do so now because it is very important to me and it currently affects my daily life significantly in terms of depression and existential fears.

I want to express my sorrow for all the suffering that people in Gaza and all Palastinians endure daily. The things one encounters on the internet are cruel and heartbreaking, and denying that something terrible is happening there is wrong. I feel the same about all atrocities happening anywhere in the world, whether far away or in my neighborhood. I hope every day for peace throughout the world. A utopian wish, I know.

Now to what might be controversial: I will not participate in the boycott against CurseForge. At least not as far as requested. I no longer actively promote the links for it; that was a kind of compromise I could make. You can judge me for this or not. But let me first describe my situation. I believe that pressuring individual small creators is not the right way in this situation, as you can never guess who is behind the internet personas and what stories they carry with them.

I come from a family that has always lived in poverty. After finishing school and completing an apprenticeship, I thought about studying so that I could do more with my potential. I moved away for my studies and had to stand completely on my own feet. I had saved a little money. For the rest of the support and because a part-time job would have hindered my ability to perform well, I applied for financial aid from the state. This is possible here in Germany. I can keep half of the money, and the other half I have to pay back after my studies. All well and good. While studying, I found a great interest in creating custom content and sharing it with others. I taught myself more and more skills and gradually shared them with others because I really enjoy to help people.

In 2022, I decided to make money with what I do. So, I had to register a business. That's mandatory here. I started with Patreon, where I gathered some subscribers who believed in my potential from the start, for which I am very grateful. I always appeal to the good in people, worked "hard," uploaded more and more stuff to convince people, and get more voluntary subscribers. This didn’t work out as expected. So, I switched to an early access model, which actually brought more subscribers, but I wasn't really happy with it, so I moved away from it a few months later. I lost more and more subs over time, while still giving the same effort as before.

Shortly after, I was invited to the CurseForge project, to which I confidently agreed because I already knew CurseForge and saw a lot of potential for the Sims area. I also find the platform really good and many changes I wished for were implemented. And yes, CurseForge has given me a steady income since then, sometimes more, sometimes less, but still far from what I made with voluntary subscribers on Patreon. I felt really proud because I suddenly earned good money with something I am passionate about. And I did it all by myself!

But this income brought new obligations: I have to pay taxes. Additionally, I no longer receive financial support from the state and won't be able to get it again.

The whole discourse has shown me that self-employment always carries a risk when you rely on a platform, so I switched back to the Patreon early access model for more security. However, I still can't live off that alone. Therefore, I continue to host my creations on CurseForge. Considering their statement from a few months ago and because I believe in the good in people, I don't see a problem with it. Of course, the economic aspect plays a role, but I am also not "clean" when I pay my taxes here in Germany, which are then used for the same purpose.

To demand that I delete all my stuff means taking away my livelihood and existence. I don't think that's fair. And yes, I know this is privileged, and my fears are not comparable to the fears of people in Gaza. Never.

All this does not mean that I am indifferent. As I said, I talk to other people about the topic, I inform myself, and as soon as I am able and have saved some money, I want to support the children in the region with donations. This has always been my approach to conflicts and crises around the world.

It is important to keep talking about the topic so that hopefully, one day, it will reach the people who can put an end to the horror.

Thank you for reading. If anything is unclear, please feel free to ask.

PowLuna

[sweettoothbadger]

DAY 1: Breaking bad habits - A quick snack - RATCHET

The undisturbed whirling of the alien technology met you as a welcome while the certain medic did not even glance in your direction as you came to. Though nothing unusual. Maybe before it would hurt you, make angry, but after so many cycles spend side to side with the old medic, you've learnt that it's just how he was. It was deep in his plating. The desire to put his all into something that might help autobots. Might save their lives in the crucial moment of distress.

Well that hurt. Really did. And he saw it immediately as your face distorted for a second with a grimace. He didn't mean it. You know he did not. But it sure sting.

-Hm, decided to pest me now in the unusual time?

-You have to sustain yourself with proper food. It's not healthy.

-Like you are the one to talk.

-Don't- huh. No, you're not distracting me from the topic. Humans must eat on a regular as well as rest!

-Yeah, though when we are stressed we tend to forget about it, doc.

Ratchet furrowed at the nickname.

-And what, may I ask made you so stressed, huh? It's not like you are in danger of being diploid to the battlefield any time soon.

-Little one, I-

-I am worried because one of the most important to me bots is killing himself stubbornly, refusing to rest even for a second! I am worried every time I see this bucket-head of a bot ignoring the obvious tremors in his hands! I am worried sick after I notice that he didn't even take an ounce of energon during another 40 or more hours of work! 

At the end of your rant you had to pause to get some air in. The anger was now cursing through your whole body, anxiety straining your voice. You were stressed he was right, but not for yourself - it was relatively safe and rather easy to forget especially with the kids causing mischief with the scouts around on the base.

You were worried sick because there was no guarantee of any of them returning back from missions, making it back injured but at least alive. And, as if he could see through you strange optics your peculiar human spark, burning and hurting for him too.

Old medic huffed gruffly with no real intent to argue. You were right, everybody needed a break, even him. And. maybe, just maybe, with you by his side it would be easier to let go of the worries twisting his spark. Even for a little bit.

-I… I am sorry. I did not intend on hurting you.

-… I know, Ratch. - You shoulders easing down just as his frame relaxes a bit too. - Just let's grab something? A snack together?

-Yes, sure. - He gently picked you up to position on his shoulder. - Though non of those dry salty poisons, we will warm you a warm cut of this soup you left in the refrigerator. I don't have time for your human stomachaches.

[kitthepurplepotato]

Chapter 13 - You are my Number One.

Summary: Katsuki is more freaked out about Y/N’s appointment than Y/N herself.

Warning: Swear words, nothing too cheeky this time!

First Chapter Master List

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

It’s 5AM in the fucking morning but Katsuki is already freaking out.

He’s not worried. He has no reason to be; he’s not a fucking doctor but he knows there is no way Y/N’s appointment will bear anything but good news; she’s healthy and full of energy, her movements are back to normal even without the meds, so really, there is no reason for him to be a big ball of anxiety right now.

No reason.

But… he still can’t stop spiraling about the ‘what if’s.

What if she only looks fine and after a few tests the doctor decides to put her back on the meds? His woman is strong, the strongest person in the world but she would break down to hear that after all the work she’s done to get better.

What if the doctor tells him to wait another year before she goes back to actual hero work? Again, she would loose her shit. She would probably burn the whole hospital down out of frustration. Katsuki is not a big fan of rescue missions and it’s also way too fucking early for that shit. He does miss the adrenaline of being on the field but he definitely does not miss the smell of burnt flesh and he might be the number two hero, but he definitely can’t save more than 3000 people in one go, especially as at least half of them are disabled and incapable of running.

“Woman.” Katsuki shakes his still sleeping girlfriend with a manic face. “Whatever happens today you can NOT burn the hospital down.” He yells with a serious face but his woman only snorts at him.

“The fuck, Katsuki?” She laughs and oh god, he absolutely fucking loves her sleepy little laugh. “Why are you the one freaking out? You look I just went into labor.” Honestly, Katsuki wishes that was the case. Even though, now that he said that, Y/N would probably burn the hospital down due to her frustration from being in so much pain for so long. Okay, no kids for Katsuki then. It’s a small sacrifice for the greater good. “What the fuck are you muttering about?” She giggles at him so Katsuki decides to change the topic by pushing a big cup of coffee into his girlfriend’s hands. It works every time. Nothing is more important than a morning coffee. Not even mass murder. Good.

Katsuki feels like he’s about to throw up. His face must be really pale as the Menace looks at him with worry etched into her features.

“We need to leave in twenty minutes, hurry up.” Katsuki makes a hard turn and stomps towards his dresser to find something normal. What do people wear to hospitals at all? His usual attire in a hospital usually consist of a hero suit soaked through with his own blood. Or ridiculously oversized trousers and a hoodie three times the size of him topped up with a cap and a face mask or at least that’s what he used to wear when he was forced to go to therapy.

This time, Katsuki wants to look… well… proper. He’s not going there alone, he’s going with his partner, his future wife (probably?!), the woman he’s so fucking proud of; he wants her to be proud of him too. It’s stupid, he knows, but somehow, it feels like this is important; this is the first time they attend an important appointment together. This is the first time he’s going to be seen as Y/N’s boyfriend. Katsuki feels like he’s about meet her parents or some shit.

“You don’t need to come with me, I’ll be fine alone.” She mutters, but that’s the last thing Katsuki wants to do.

“Do I fucking look like I’m capable of sitting on my ass right now, you idiot?” Katsuki lashes out. “I want to be there, I want to hold your hand and shit. I want to… fuck, I want to be there with you. I want to share the burden. You see, I’m already freaking out so you don’t have to. You can just giggle and be fucking adorable while I shit my pants. I’m perfectly fine with that.”

“Katsuki, you don’t make any sense but… thank you?” She giggles again and Katsuki swears he would be able to survive without water and food and get his nutrients from Y/N’s laughter instead. He’s so fucking fucked, isn’t he?

“Put some clothes on and let’s go.” Katsuki takes a plain black T-shirt and some tight jeans out of his dresser and makes a beeline to the bathroom. “If you don’t have proper clothing on by the time I come back you are going to the hospital in your pajamas.” Katsuki threatens but it doesn’t have an edge.

“Roger that, boss!” Y/N salutes before Katsuki slams the bedroom door aggressively.

~•💥•~

“Keep your eyes on the road, Kats, I won’t disappear.” You smile at your boyfriend who’s absolutely freaking the shit out right now, for no reason at all. It’s a little bit endearing.

You always knew he cares so much more than he’s willing to admit; he’s secretly a big softie for all his friends, even though he does nothing but yell at them all the time, but this is the first time Katsuki feels safe enough to actually show his affectionate side to anyone else and it makes you so fucking proud to be on the receptive side of it even if it’s a tiny bit annoying.

You don’t want to know how has Katsuki felt when you were gone for a day of this is how he reacts to a doctor’s appointment. Maybe you should thank Todoroki and Midoriya for keeping him alive while you were away back then.

“Technically…” Katsuki is about to give you shit and go all nerd on you, but you don’t let him finish.

“Technically, I can disappear, yes, but it doesn’t matter if you stare at me or not, I can literally do that anyway.” You retort scoldingly.

“Sorry, I’m just really fucking worried.” Katsuki sighs, his eyes finally back on the road. You sigh and move your your hand to caress the blond’s thigh, drawing soothing circles on his jeans to calm him down.

“You have no reason to be. It’s over, Katsuki. I’m over it and I know I won this fight, I just need a stupid paper from the doctor that makes it official. I trust my gut and my gut tells me I’m good. Don’t you trust me, KitKat?”

Katsuki visibly shakes at the new nickname you just gave him; thank god you two were waiting for the light to turn green, otherwise he would’ve caused an accident by stepping on the brake so suddenly.

“What’s with you and your stupid nicknames?” Katsuki mutters with the most adorable pout on his flushed little face.

“I can’t help it, you are so fucking cute.” You giggle and Katsuki is about to explode out of embarrassment when a loud honk coming from behind startles you both; the light turned green and you didn’t realize. Oh fuck.

“You are insufferable.” Katsuki mutters in front of himself and the rest of the ride is silent. You know your boyfriend well enough to know that nothing will calm him down right now anyway, so you just let him mutter to himself for the rest of the journey.

For your surprise, Katsuki intertwines his fingers with yours right when you stand by his side after the ride. His hold is downright painful, but you decide to not speak up about it; Katsuki clearly needs this right now and seeing him so stressed about something that doesn’t even affect him in any way makes you realize how important you are for him. Bakugou Katsuki can’t seem to stop surprising you these days, in a good way.

“Hello.” Katsuki mutters at the entrance; it looks like it literally pains him to be nice to someone else for once, but he does it anyway. Why? You have no fucking idea. Katsuki looks at the amused lady at the front desk with a constipated face. “Appointment. For Y/N.” Katsuki mutters again, his face red as a tomato. You don’t have the heart to tell him that he doesn’t need to do this at all as everyone knows your face by now.

“End of the hallway, right side, 235. Good luck!” The lady gives you a thumbs up and you can barely smile back as Katsuki is already pulling you towards the fore-mentioned door. He knock three times aggressively and the door opens; the nurse’s face pales at the sight of the number two hero towering against her at 6AM in the fucking morning.

“Ahh, Y/N! Come on in, your guest can wait in the waiting room until we finish!” The nurse gives Katsuki a forced smile, already knowing there’s gonna be drama.

“I’m not a fucking guest, I’m her boyfriend! I took care of her fucking ass this whole week! I should be allowed to come in!” Katsuki almost yells at the poor nurse, but his voice gets quieter as he finishes his sentence. Fuck, he’s trying so hard.

“Sir, I understand but we need your girlfriend’s full attention. We need to do some tests as well today. Please, take a seat outside.” She points at the bench on the hallway. “Would you like some tea, or some coffee? We have some pastries as well if you are hungry!”

Wow, you do get a different treatment when you are the number two hero in the country.

“Do I look like I need caffeine, woman?” Katsuki mutters under his nose, his hands still in yours. “Just fucking… go…” the blond mutters, slowly letting you free from his grasp.

“I’ll be fine. I love you.” You hug your boyfriend tightly, hoping he can feel how grateful you are for everything. The nurse steps back into the office and leaves the door open for you to come in when you are ready. You didn’t miss the tiny fond smile on her face as she left.

“You are invincible. Whatever fucking happens today… you are… you are my number one.” Katsuki’s head is about to explode. Your heart skips a beat.

“I’m the luckiest fucking bitch to walk this Earth. Fuck, Katsuki.” You can’t stop yourself from jumping on him and kissing him fiercely in the middle of the thankfully empty hallway like your life depends on it. It takes him a few seconds to reciprocate but when he does it gets even harder to let him go; he kisses you with the same fervor, his touches hot and full of desire. He pulls away rather abruptly, takes a few deep breaths then he finally speaks up:

“Go before I devour you in the middle of this stupid hallway that smells like cheap bleach.”

“I’ll be out before you know it.” You smile and leave a last, lingering kiss on the blond’s lips before you close the door on his cute, anxious face. You’ve never been into the whole marriage thing but you kinda want to elope with him right here, right now.

“Let’s get this over with.” You sigh as you sit down in front of your doctor, who can’t hide his amused face as he takes in your red lips and disheveled hair.

“I really want to tell you off for coming to my office looking like that but I’m actually quite impressed. So who’s the lucky guy?” The doctor smirks at you; your cheeks flush, making you look like a ripe tomato but he only laughs at that.

“See it for yourself after we are done here, sir.”

This is it. This is fucking it.

Oh shit, you haven’t been anxious at all before but now it kicks you in the face as you take in your doctors office, the white walls and all the equipment he’s about to use on you.

“Whatever happens, you are my number one.” Katsuki’s words play in your head like a mantra as your body slowly lets go of all the tension that suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

It doesn’t matter what the doctor says; it might sound super cheesy but even if you can never be a hero again, having Katsuki by your side, saving people for the both of you is more than enough for you.

So this is what people call “love”. It’s so powerful it changes even the strongest, most determined people.

You can’t help but giggle to yourself from your own silly thoughts.

You really are the luckiest person in the world, aren’t you?

… Next chapter!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Potato ramble:

- This story is about end in a few chapters. I gave this a lot of thought and I realized I don’t need to write down every single idea I had for this one otherwise this story will never end and I have so many other stories in my head I want to share with you all, so I made the executive decision to try to finish this in 5 chapters (you guys know me though, that will be 10 lol).

- My plan is to finish this one, take a bit of a break and continue posting only the Deku one for a few weeks then come back with the Kirishima spin-off and then later with a new Katsuki x Reader series. I already have a few chapters ready for both but I’m trying to aim for having almost the whole thing written out before I start posting to not overwhelm myself but I might change my mind about that as I really enjoy to hear your thoughts and add some things you want to see and I absolutely love to listen to your feedback and make the next chapters more enjoyable. It’s hard to be an adult, I just wanna write and read your comments 24/7 😂

- Ah, also! I got over excited and I already have edited the header for the Kirishima spin-off! I hope you like it!

Yes, there is a typo in it, I’ll sort that out later shut up 😂

- I hope you guys had a lovely week and sorry for being so late; I got some bad news from the doctors and it messed up my head a little bit, I also did several extremely early shifts in a row and was dead tired in the afternoon so I had a hard time writing this week. Next week will be even worse so yeah… sorry in advance 😂

TL: @sixxze @iwannahaveaprettyaesthetic @hanatsuki-hime @cloroxisadelectabletreat @cheesenmax @coffeent @smolsleepybat @therealpotatobish @qardasngan @canarystwin @unofficialmuilover @nanamomo1 @mikestuffffs @p4ndawrites @yao-ai

[igglemouse]

It's only the first trimester but this pregnancy thing is already a bit rough, at least more than I imagined. I never expected it to be easy but I do get tired of having to run to the bathroom. Yeaaa, lets not talk about that!

Instead lets talk about waffles, more specifically, chicken and waffles! My appetite has definitely started to change as I find myself more likely to completely clean a plate but I don't think I've had any specific cravings yet? I mean, right now I'm craving golden waffles and slightly crisp fried chicken drenched in sweet syrup, does that count?

Naturally the scent of waffles wafting waffly through the house is enough to draw Pascal down to the kitchen. I'm pretty sure waffles are his favorite food and the way he lights up before digging into them tells me that I might be right.

He takes a few bites, makes a groan of approval, then turns his attention to me, a bit of concern on his face. "You okay?" He asks with his mouth half full. "You spent a lot of time in the restroom this morning and-"

"Yeaaah, just one of those things I guess?" I say trying to pass it off casually. The constant nausea is common during pregnancy, right? Probably nothing. "It'll be okay!"

"Yeah," he mumbles, getting right back to his meal.

That reminds me, Pascal hasn't really talked much about this whole 'we're going to be parents' thing too much and by too much I mean not really at all? He's told me that he'll be there for the baby and for me and that matters but I do wish he was a little more involved.

I think he saves most of his enthusiasm for mud baths. It's a ritual for him, I think. I can understand why, it can be very relaxing sinking yourself into a puddle of earthy mud and letting the world melt away. I understand he kicks a ball around for a living but it does take a lot out of him. Athletes really push their bodies past limits. It must be a ritual of his at this point.

As for me, I find my own way to unwind. Grooving to Latin pop, the infectious beats fill the room and gets my feet to move but not too much. Sure would hate to trip or something buuut I'm hoping my little one is vibing to the music too!

Doing laundry isn't in any way more fun than dancing but it has to get done. Even if the sun is bearing down on you, making you sweat, and...why doesn't Pascal have a washer and dryer again?

But I wasn't going to spend my entire day under the sun, especially when Sara decided to drop by again. She's been coming over more and more lately, I don't mind, but as I've mentioned before she's a bit nosy. Always asking questions and trying to pry, just a touch annoying actually, but there's something endearing to it? It's almost like little sister energy, if that makes sense? Maybe that's just me wishing I had a little sister.

She does remind me of an old friend I had back home, in Selva. A softer version of her, a less confident version of her, but a version of her all the same. Candela was her name but that's a story for another day.

As soon as we sit down Sara dives right into the topic of Pascal. Completely expected, remember, she's the nosy prying type after all but I decided to turn the tables back on her and ask her about her own love life.

"Umm, remember, I'm not so fortunate," her reply is hesitant and her voice cracks a little, letting me know this is more of a sensitive topic for her.

"Sara, you're way too hard on yourself! I know you've had some luck-"

"What's luck if I'm sitting here single," she interrupts, set on putting herself down I guess.

"Sara, you're young, we all are," I say, wanting to defend her from herself. "It's really not that big of a deal being single. Sometimes, it's better than being stuck with someone that's abusive."

"Yeah...well, for now, I'll live vicariously through your relationship so lets hear about it." The smile on her face is forced but I agree. I don't want to force her to talk about her.

So I tell her about Pascal and me but there really isn't any excitement because there isn't much to go on about? We are just sort of...living together? No big adventures or vacations, nothing overly romantic, we've just been sharing a space and going through life day by day I guess.

"You're going to have to pull him off the pitch long enough for you two to do more together," Sara suggests. It's a good idea. The SPL, which stands for Sims Premier League, has an offseason doesn't it?

After Sara leaves the house feels a little quieter. That's alright because I'll always have ice cream! It's the sort of thing that can bring joy to any evening and so I step right over to the kitchen and pull out my nifty ice cream making machine and make me a bowl of it. because, why not? Feels like a butter pecan kind of day to me and it's feeling like I'll be needing two bowls!

One thing I think I have to consider when it comes to living with Pascal is that I've been doing most of the chores. Whether its scrubbing countertops or washing the dishes or doing laundry out in near 100 degree heat, it's me doing it all and here I am vacuuming so that we're not inhaling dust. Makes me wonder how he was keeping this place clean before me? I'd ask Pascal to do it for tonight but...

The mechanical whir of the treadmill and the pounding of his feet had told me he was busy. I quietly slipped inside of his workout room, which, now that I think about it, looks like it would be better suited for a child but maybe that's a discussion for another day.

I have to squeal out a hello to get his attention and once I do; "Does the offer still stand?" I ask, voice raised to be heard of the rhythm of his workout.

"Huh?" He kinda shouts back, a little out of breath.

"Moving in, does it still stand?" and I shout right back.

"O-oh! Yeah! Of course! Of course it does!" He stammers back and gives me a smile. I'll leave him alone for now I guess.

So yeah, it looks like I've mad my decision or rather, fate has made it for me.

I do have some concerns but that's expected, right? No one is perfect.

Honestly, if I were not pregnant with his child I do not think I would have made this decision but now that I am I want to do everything right. That includes raising a child the usual way. Mother, father, a house, a family, that kind of thing. It's at least worth a try, it's more than what was done for me growing up.

I'll miss this place. I wasn't here for long but that's the story of my life. I don't tend to stay in places for too long. The universe always nudges me on to my next chapter and on to the next episode..

Frida Varela Index ~ Next Episode 6 'Familiar Connections'

[artsygirl0315]

"Guilt, Dread and Shame" | Mourning AU Fanfic

(Warning; Angst, Mentions of cause of death)

In the midst of looking through documents and files for the organization, Tyler couldn't shake the lingering feeling of a forced emotion welling up inside him.

As if the tears that left his face were pouring out his eyes by it's own will and his heart ached despite his own clear mind.

The staggered images and blurs of purple and green, they flow through his mind like an unrelenting wave of.. Dread? Sadness? Guilt?.. Whatever that was, It's not leaving.

Unbeknownst to him was his hand, it gripped on the pen he was using tightens as each tear drops down to the papers beneath his gaze.

Then a sudden feeling of distress passes through him, the flashing images of his friends.

Their separate unmoving bodies lying in hospital beds.

How he dreaded that sight for all his living years..

His body suddenly acted out, his hands turning to fists as they slammed on the table and his teeth gritted with frustrations, all the while, the tears poured out his eyes like waterfalls and his breathing became rapid.

Why couldn't he save them? Where was he when they needed him? What is he even doing? WHO IS HE?!

Who is he if not a leader.. A brother.. a friend?..

What was his purpose now?..

The door slowly opened behind him, the light emitts through the dark room that it's only form of light was the lamo beside his desk and the one that came from behind the door.

His eyes didn't need to glance at the one behind him, already knowing who it must be as the heavy footsteps came closer and halted a few feet from him.

"Ty? You good, bud?.. I heard something break and thought I'd check up on you.." One of his dear friends, Jeremiah, spoke from behind him with a familiar aura of worriness and curiousity coming from his companion.

Tyler only realized in that moment that a picture frame had fallen from his desk, his eyes wandered to the shards of broken glass and inside the frame was that familiar photo taken on a warm spring day.

His friends, his sector, were on a picnic that day and he himself took that photo. His eyes stayed on those two familiar faces, enough for the tears to continue down his cheek.

Mella, Evan, what could he have done to do you justice?

"I'm fine, Jer.. I'm just.. really really tired right now, I'll clean it up..", He says that but even he knew that it was another made up excuse, He never found the time to clean up in here.

Not after what happened, even then, he couldn't find it in him.

Jeremiah noticed the broken shards of glass on the floor and was contemplating whether or not to prod and poke on the topic further until he realized that he can't get through to Tyler, Not yet at least.

The large boy looked at his leader before a low hum escapes his lips, turning around as his hand reached the doorknob, pausing for a second to make one last remark for his friend.

"You know that we're still here for you, right? Me, Phoebe, Carol, Aiden, Gianna, Reyna, and everyone... All of us.. We're still here for you, and I think it's time we start seeing that.."

Tyler found himself listening to Jeremiah's words and contemplating, he didn't much care for the large boy's tone of warning but..

Maybe he was getting somewhere.

It had been weeks now since they left, since he's last seen their bodies lying on different grounds.

One's skin was filled with burnt scars while the other was covered in red and full of bruises.

He was the first of his sector to witness the aftermath of the crimes committed on his two members, their bodies laying unmoved and their eyes show no more signs of life.

And he was the first to feel the dreadful guilt, the piercing resentment and the weighing sorrow that filled his heart.

He remembered having to be held back by the doctors and nurses as he tried to reach out to them, begging and pleading as his eyes poured down tears and his body shook, watching them being taken from him before he could even reach.

And till this day, it haunted him.

Till this day, he felt nothing but guilt and shame.

When Jeremiah had already left his leader's disheveled room, Tyler could only ponder on the good old days.

Back when they were so happy, so free and careless of what the future held for them.

He wished he had done something to prevent what happened, to save his friends, to find a way to get things back the way they were..

But that was a long shot, an unattainable means to an end.

He can't bring them and he hated that.

He hated himself..

"If I could turn back time, I would've taken that opportunity to see you two smile again.. Maybe I would've had the better strength to give you the life you deserved.. I'm sorry.."

(Almost forgot, shi—)

Mentions of moots!!💙

Carol and Aiden- @kandykatz

Gianna- @numbuh-72

Reyna- @numbuhinfinitys

(Hey guys, Blue here! Sorry for not posting for a little since I've got lots of project and assignments need to be done but I'll try my best to get a few things in the works for the meantime! I made this comic a means to show Tyler's perspective as he is seen to be quite a big jerk nowadays in the AU but he's got heart! There'll be more about this AU soon. Until then, Have a great day, everyone!!💙)

[soft5ku11]

Whats 1 piece of advice you'd give to a beginning artist looking to get into drawing big guys/girls etc ? Anything beyond the typical 'practise' or 'run your art by someone you know' like you already said before? sorry if this comes across rude I'm actually just curious and seeking something a lil bit more insightful was wondering if you had something to help me out?

It's totally fine I get you - I guess I have one thing that I see that really makes me uncomfortable that's sorta a moral thing? Take it or leave it, but:

If you look back at your drawings or your writing or whatever and the majority or all of it is just fat people suffering because of their weight or things related to it, maybe zoom out and take a long think about how that comes across.

I don't mean this with malice, nor am I saying you are doing it, anon (obviously I couldn't know or accuse you of that bc you're anonymous, duh) but what I am saying is, I see some artists or authors out there that just depict people... miserable. Just plain old fuckin suffering; and I find that really sad - cause it makes me think does the person see worth in fat people or fatness (or what have you) beyond a "they suffer and i get off to them being ruined and completely beyond saving" context?

It's just a bit icky to me, so I urge anyone getting into the weight gain art sphere to just be conscious of that and be somewhat mindful of how you use fat people in your works. I'm not saying ask every fat person you know if your work offends them or to be scared to draw fat people having any problems at all, by no means that's not what I'm talking about. But I just hate to see people falling down the hole of exclusively depicting fat people suffering. It just feels disrespectful.

Whenever I'm getting up to that point in my art, it's usually coated with a bit of silliness or humour to lighten it up, because I don't want the focus on that particular aspect, y'know?

SO sorry for rambling so much but I just wanted to cover my bases and articulate the best I can without going TOO deep into this because it's such an articulate topic and I don't wanna come across as a preacher being like "fOrcEd PoSiTiViTy wOOo you MUST do this or you're evil" but I hope I've cultivated a following that at least somewhat understands what I'm trying to say. This is all a personal preference I guess but I really do believe it helps to not just focus on the most awful stuff and the morbid parts. Bring some damn joy or silly to the world LOL

TLDR: be mindful about what you're making and be conscious of if you're just depicting suffering and immense struggle. Weight gain can be depicted in a light other than ruination or misery.

[roses-bel-air-darling]

In one way, at least Touya’s end is kind of ambiguous so we can make our own ideas! I mean yes, there are the implications of him dying and such. I won’t deny it still sucks considering Endeavour and all. But, in one way at least he will be able to talk with his family, reconcile with them. I like to think (might be wishful thinking on my part) that eventually he gets better and maybe lives with his family again, or something, to give him a chance at normal with his family. He might be under house arrest or something, unless he still stuck in a tank after all those years, or did die. But if he did, I like to think he and his family made peace before he did.

Idk, it’s just unfortunate how the Todoroki plot wrapped up, but at least his family didn’t push him away. Honestly I’m probably in denial with it all because maybe he is dead considering he wasn’t shown in the flashbacks, but who knows?

Toga and Shigiraki’s deaths were unfortunate, HK really fumbled on the end. Honestly I dipped when the last chapter released, and when I came back, I realized that a lot of people/blogs didn’t have many thoughts on the end. Almost unanimously it seemed everyone was in radio silence 😅

I am so sorry that this is long!

That's the tiny bit of hope I have for touya. Although, I'm trying not to be a negative nancy. There is the last volume and the official fanbook both coming out this December. We could possibly get a final update on touya. Good or bad.

Hori confirmed that he forgot to draw a few things in the final chapter and is going to put it in the final volume.

I'm not going to be cautiously optimistic. I'm just going to expect something.

Personally, before the manga ended, I was on the villain trio big save train. I was so sure they were going to get a 'happy' ending and heading towards their bright futures as it was intended to throughout the story. (Note: I won't elaborate on the whole villains bad, must die arguments. It's tiring and gets old super fast the moment those sentences are used to justify the deaths of toga, shigaraki, and touya. Different topic, different day.)

Now, looking back, I just want him to have a peaceful death with his mom and siblings there by his side and knowing he's not alone and loved. I don't want him to be alive and be a part of the society that still rejects someone like him, toga, and shigaraki. You must be a good victim to be accepted back into said society, and bad victims don't deserve a second chance, sympathy, or to be heard. Doesn't matter how much pain and abuse you have been afflicted. No redemption. Death is the only option.

Onto the last parts, with the todoroki family plot. I hated that dabi, shouto, and the rest of the family became plot devices for endeavor's "redemption."

Shouto and dabi's moments are being overshadowed by endeavors, constant apologizing, and yapping. Over and over.

Hori didn't know what to do with endeavor and it showed.

Poor shouto's arc being ruined.

The unnecessary parts of the final todoroki chapter of endeavor's talking as if touya is still a villain by accepting his invitation to Dabi's dance and natsuo's comment about that was the only time he thought his dad was a badass. It felt so off and OOC of natsuo to say that.

I lost interest during the entirety of the ACT 3 of the manga. I only cared about the villains at the time. I think hori in the end. He just wanted to end the manga. There were a bunch of breaks during Act 3 due to his health and stress, and it affected the story. Hori deserves a long, long vacation as being mangaka is draining. I also hope he recovers as well.

I'm sorry for yapping, but I felt the same that I wish we didn't get these endings for the todoroki family and the villain trio. I would say more on toga and shigaraki's outcome, but I would make this reply WAY too long. Almost a 20-page essay. 😂

Lastly, with the blogs I follow on tumblr and Twitter on the reactions I saw to the last few chapters. It was mainly negative. And yet other bigger blogs in the fandom it was crickets. I agree I think the silence was loud and clear too. I'm like... 😬

I don't go on the BNHA reddit as the posts call the ending bad cause people's ships didn't become canon. Which with shipping vs. story arcs, themes, and narratives. I only care about the story in general when I read. Shipping? Nah.

For real, tho, I just wish the manga ended on how it was originally going to.

My headcanon is that the league is in an island somewhere, just soaking in the sun and having fun. Spinner and shigaraki brought a whole TV and gaming consoles to the beach, toga swimming and teaching twice how to swim, dabi cooking some BBQ while texting shouto asking how's he's doing. Compress is getting a tan and scolding shigaraki and spinner for bringing electronics to the beach. Big sis magne is not with them as she modeling in a big fashion show.

Just a happy little misfits being a family. 💗

Sorry anon! For the long reply! I wanted to share my opinions on the ending as well. Take care!

[mariabtsos]

Unsinkable ||j.jk|| - Chapter 2

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Description: The 1910s are the peak of passenger ships, it was also the peak of classism, Jungkook is a third class immigrant from Korea, and you are a first class “prisoner” not wanting to go back to a life of strict standards. Once you meet Jungkook, life seems worth living, but when tragedy strikes, will you guys make it out to live the life you planned?

Genre: One-shot, Titanic AU, poor/artist!JK x rich!f reader, angst, fluff, very slight smut, forbidden love.

Warnings: classist remarks toward Jungkook.

Word Count: 1.6k+

A day later, you managed to find Jungkook, and you decided to go for a stroll on the first class deck. You must have walked around for at least an hour or so, and your conversation was mostly redundant, the weather, how the waves broke off the bow. Jungkook was getting a bit tired, the conversation was not going anywhere, he felt that you were dancing around it.

“So, Miss Y/N, we’ve done at least 2 laps around the boat, we’ve exhausted all small talk topics,” he said, “what do you actually want to talk about?”

You hesitated to tell him, but only for a second. “I wanted to thank you, not only for saving me, but for your discretion.” He gave you what you thought was the brightest smile, you couldn’t not smile back, he looked so endearing.

“I know you are probably thinking something like ‘poor rich girl, what does she ever have to worry about’” you sat on a nearby lounge chair, him following close behind.

“Actually,” he plopped down on the chair, “I was thinking ‘what happened that she thought jumping was her only option?’” Jungkook looked at you, eyes squinting due to the sun.

The air was suddenly growing thicker, after trying to convince yourself to not look at his lips you decided to snatch the small leather booklet he was carrying, “what’s this anyway?”

You spent the afternoon looking at Jungkook’s drawings, he told you all about his adventures in France, it was lighthearted, and then he explained the story behind each one, who his subjects were. You told him they were wonderful, and he smiled at you with that same dilly smile.

(...)

The hours leading up to the dinner, Jungkook was nervous, he considered himself charming for sure, but he had never mixed with the upper class folk. He was able to distract himself a bit with you, teaching you some “non-lady-like things” and talking about how your life would look if you were to go with him once the ship docked.

That’s when your mom came by with Molly Brown, you introduced him to them, and your mom immediately took you away, giving Jungkook a nasty look, as if he was trash under her shoes, but all Jungkook did was bow his head with a smile, there wasn’t a person yet that had take that away from him, at least not from what you had seen. After you left Jungkook kept staring at the hallway you had walked into, when all the sudden he felt something hit his shoulder.

“Yah, who?!-“ he stopped when her turned around and saw the older woman in front of him.

“Tell me son,” she started, with a bright smile and looking Jungkook up and down, but she didn’t have the same disgust your mother did, “is that what you’re wearing to dinner?” Jungkook simply shrugged, those were his nicest clothes. The older lady shook her head and giggled. “Well we can’t have that, walk with me Jungkook,” she put her arm out and he took it like a gentleman.

“You can call me Kook,” he gave her a small smile. She looked at him briefly.

“You can call me Ms. Molly!” She smiled back.

Jungkook was confused on where she was taking him, until they made it to her cabin, she asked him to come in whilst she went I to her closet, brought out a dazzling suit, and insisted he try it on. Just as she thought, it fit him like glove.

“You and my son are the same size, I knew it!” She said excited, as Jungkook checked himself out in the mirror. Ms. Molly ended up gelling Jungkook’s hair down so he’d look more like “them.”

The fancy staircase with its golden banister was spectacular. There was a tiny clock on the wall that led down to its fancy marble flooring. The Titanic was beautiful all around, but he could tell this was a place where if it weren’t for his fancy tailored suit, he’d be immediately kicked to the curb and probably searched just to ensure he hadn’t stolen anything.

“Jungkook!” The young man turned immediately as he heard your voice, to say he was astonished would be an understatement. Your beauty was incredibly mesmerizing, your dark purple evening gown had a trail and tiny details in black and white that made your skin pop in the most wonderful way, you had elbow length, white satin gloves, your hair was done up with a few strands out by the sides of your face, and your lips were tinted in burgundy, making them look absolutely delicious.

Jungkook immediately bowed, almost as if you were royalty, you giggle and offered your hand as a joke, and were immediately bashful when he kissed it delicately, looking up at you with what could only be described as stars in his eyes, which you were sure had as well.

Ms. Molly had taken Namjoon with her, whilst Jungkook offered his arm, which you took happily. You started putting him up to speed on everything, who the people you were dining with were, how they got here, what they liked and didn’t like being brought up in conversation. When you made it to the table you left his side to go sit next to Namjoon, whilst the younger man pulled out a chair for Ms. Molly, quickly taking a seat next to her.

“We have our guest joining us today,” you announced as you sat down, Namjoon looking back between you and your savior. “Mr. Jeon Jungkook.”

“Jeon?! Huh, I must say you clean up well, I almost didn’t recognize you,” he said, it almost sounded rude if it weren’t for the smile he flashed after.

The night went on, they asked him a ton of questions, and if he was nervous, he didn’t show it, and he answered back with charm and class.

“So, Mr. Jeon, forgive my candor but how does someone of your…resources travel so often?” Your mother asked, always with the snarky remarks and the judgmental looks, but Jungkook handled it well.

“I work everywhere I go, ma’am,” he stated politely, “I don’t need anything other than the air in my lungs, and my sketchbook, I enjoy not knowing where I’ll be the next day, who I’ll meet, or what’ll be doing,” he scoffed, looking at his glass of champagne, “I mean the comparison between just yesterday and today is mesmerizing.”

Everyone chuckled along “Life’s too short, so I take the cards I’m dealt and I make each day count!” He smiled brightly.

“Well said Kook!” Ms. Molly said proudly. Leading the charge by lifting her own glass for a toast, “make each day count!”

Soon enough everyone followed, you smiled happily, excited at the idea that the man you liked was welcomed into your "part" of society.

As the men left for the smoke room and the women stayed to gossip, everyone looked at Jungkook to see where he would go, he simply took your hand and kissed it, sneakily putting a piece of paper in your hand.

"I'm afraid I've overstayed my welcome, I shall head back to my quarters, I hope you all have lovely evening," he bid everyone adieu and walked off, everyone else started going their separate ways, so you decided to look at the piece of paper Jungkook had slipped into your hand.

The room was bustling with music and laughter, all the passengers were having a dilly old time, you could feel the laughter bubble up as you avoided bumping into dancing couples all around you, whilst looking for the young man that had your heart.

Jungkook had been waiting for you, and to kill some time — and his anxiety — he decided to accept a young girls request to dance, he had her feet on top of his and danced with her until he saw you, you would think because he had just seen you the shock wouldn't be as bad, but the lights and the pretty color of your dress against your skin had his stomach turning into knots.

"How quickly you've forgotten about me," you said dramatically, causing him to giggle in the most wonderful way you had ever heard. "I'm not sure what you mean!" He replied with a dreamy smile, still holding onto the little girl's hand, he took your hand and kissed it, then he got down to the little girl's level and whispered something in her ear, to which she looked at you with a smirk and walked off.

"What did you say to her?" You asked as he took your hand, dragging you to what had been designated as the dance floor.

"That's a secret that will die with me," he winked.

He started to dance to the lively music played by a variety of musicians. You felt lost, as you had all kinds of waltzes and dances committed to memory, and you didn't know this one.

"I don't know what I'm doing!" You spoke loudly so he could hear you over the laughter and music. He kept dancing around, "don't worry, just have fun!."

You felt blissful with him, your world and its issues did not matter, so you took up his offer and had fun, because you didn't know when you'd be able to do this again, because as much as you wished to leave with Jungkook, you knew what Namjoon would do if you did.

Unfortunately, you weren't thinking about that in your bliss, so you didn't notice your fiancé's valet walking down the stairs and seeing you there, having the time of your life, he scoffed and went back upstairs, ready to inform Namjoon of your little escapade. Some may think him a snitch, but Namjoon was not only his boss but his best friend, and he was not going to let him be hurt.

[prod-ddeonu]

TIGHTY WHITIES | p.js

episode 11: put my sneakers on!

pairing: college! Jay x fem! reader

CW/TW: enemies to lovers, smau, angst, fluff, smut, horrible comedy, slice of life, jay gets exposed BAD, kys jokes, assault, drinking, flirting hehe, NOT PROOFREAD!!, chef Jay, the note is a sort of vent and mentions death, skip to tl;dr if uncomfortable with those topics as it is important

synopsis: You and Park Jongseong have been enemies for years. Heck, the two of you grew up picking fights with each other. A hateful war of tricks and deceit turns from bad to worse, however, when you finally trump him. Nobody can come back from having a photo of themself in tighty whities sent to the entire school, right?

status: ongoing!

taglist: open! (fill out the google form to be added! your user should be tagged on the masterlist and the next chapter after you submit!)

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You and your entire gaggle of friends were sitting around your apartment, save for Soobin nervously tidying up your counter for alcohol and setting the chairs neatly in the living room.

You laughed at the way he brought out your mini-duster from the pantry. "Soob," you called out. He turned to you with his brows creased. "You're freaking yourself out again."

He sighed and put the duster back down, rubbing the side of his face with his open palm. "I know, I know," he mumbled, "I'm just so scared of his friends not liking me."

"Soob," Keeho smiled happily, "If his friends love him, they'll trust that you're a good person and like you. It's how we feel about Heeseung, at least."

Soobin smiled even bigger and came to sit back down on the couch next to you. "Thank you, guys!" He hugged the two of you.

Beomgyu cleared his throat. "I'm here too, y'know," he jokingly rolled his eyes.

"I wish you weren't," Soobin joked back, opening his arms for Beomgyu to join the hug (which he did).

You sadly turned the TV on to play an old ITZY song. "I wish Chae and Yuna could have been here, they were so excited when you told us. They just had to have practice tonight."

"I know, but I'll take Heeseung to their comeback stage!" Soobin stood up and danced to the song. "I don't wanna take them away from making these good songs!"

You all stood up and began to have a small dance party together, easing your friend's nerves further before the doorbell rang.

It was around seven o'clock in the afternoon at this time, and the boisterous laughter outside told you that it was Jay's ensemble. "Late as usual," you tsked to yourself, swinging the door open with a big smile and holding your arms open to Heeseung.

He bent down and gave you a hug, confusedly, before standing up and greeting you. "Hi, you must be Y/N!"

"Yes, I am! You never figured that out after all the years of being friends with Jay?"

"No, I did, I just wanted to seem like we never laughed at Jay getting his ass handed to him everyday," he laughed. "You're much more welcoming than I thought, I honestly expected a box of snakes or something."

"No, of course not! This is a celebration, this isn't about Jay. And, plus, I only do that kind of stuff to Jay," you beamed, stepping to the side to allow them in.

They all introduced themselves as they walked in, and it shocked you how tall just all of them were.

Jungwon, the boy who seemed to have his wits together the most, pointed his thumb out the door as he began to speak to you. "Also, Jay is here, but he stopped and got some extra stuff for the party so he's trying to get it out of the car, if you were wondering."

You looked up and saw his form hunched into the backseat of his car, pulling out item after item. "I'll go help," you sighed.

You excused yourself from the apartment, going down the stairs and bouncing a little with every hop down.

"I didn't tell you to buy that much booze, Jay Park," you sighed with a small smile as he pulled out bags and boxes of alcohol.

He turned around with a smile, his hands on his hips in a mock defense. "I actually recall you saying to get lots of alcohol, Hwa Y/N."

As he faced you, you couldn't help but examine him. He wasn't in his usual all-black clothing, which took you by surprise. He was in jeans with a simple white tee and a light sweater, making him look softer and sweeter than the usual Jay. You had to admit, your enemy was very handsome and fashionable.

Jay felt your eyes on him as he spoke. He felt the way they checked him out. He couldn't be mad, though, because he'd done the same thing. The second he first turned around, his eyes were immediately oggling your own jean shorts and white tee, a dainty necklace around your neck. However, he could only notice the familiar jacket over your shoulders.

"You wore that jacket for me?" Jay asks, making it sound like more of a statement. He doesn't miss the way you get flustered as he laughs. "I actually bought food for all of us, too. I was gonna cook something so nobody got too sick in your apartment."

You reached into the car next to him, brushing your side against his and sending him into a flurry of warm cheeks and pounding heartbeats. He stepped to the side, giving you space.

You pulled back out with the bags of chicken and tteokbokki, holding them in your hands as Jay held the alcohol. The two of you made your way up to your apartment, stopping just outside the door.

"Jay, can I talk to you right here really quickly?"

He turned his head to you, putting the alcohol down outside the door as you put down the food. "Yeah, what's up?"

"I'm really sorry," you looked into his eyes. "I've wanted to apologize for pushing your buttons on purpose that day since it happened, you never would've did what you did if I hadn't, and I realized that you were the only one trying to make an effort when you came by the other day," you spewed the words out, rambling in a sense. Your head fell to the ground.

Jay grabbed your hands quickly, his eyes wide and a small glimmer in his eyes. "Y/N, you don't have to apologize. I was really in the wrong, I don't blame you for anything. I'm happy you enjoy the gifts, but that wasn't me trying to make you feel like you had to make any type of effort to apologize. I don't want you to think I need to forgive you for anything, it was a two-way street with out fighting. If anything, I should be asking for your forgiveness, still-"

You squeezed his hands, shutting the man up. You looked back into his eyes with a smile. "Jongseongie, I forgave you a long time ago."

You pulled him into a hug, his arms around your waist and yours around his neck. The two of you stayed like that for a few seconds, before Jay pulled back as the two of you stared at each other.

"I like when you call me that," he breathed out in a slow sigh. You felt your face heat up in a foreign, fuzzy way.

There was a similar beating in both of your hearts. If it hadn't been for the tight hug, the two of you would never have felt it. There was an invisible line between the two of you, but it was being erased further by the second. Every second you stared into his eyes, you felt your resolve grow weaker.

Jay's hand went to your chin, his thumb lightly stroking your cheek and tilting your head upwards. His other went to your waist, holding you steady as the two of you began to close the distance.

His face inched nearer, your eyes never leaving his lips. As they got closer, your eyes closed with anticipation. "Y/N, can I k-"

"Put my sneakers on!" Chaeryeong cheered loudly as she walked up the stairs with Yuna.

Both you and Jay shoved off of each other, awkwardly grabbing the bags, bottles clinking against one another in Jay's hands and a bright red blush on both of your faces.

The two girls made it to your door at the same moment that you two had decided to look away from each other in embarrassment. "What's up with you two?" Chae questioned.

You both mumbled, "Nothing." They shrugged and held out a similar bag to you.

"Look, babe! We got some liquor for tonight, too!" Chae smiled wide.

You hugged the two of them once you pulled yourself together. "How did you guys even make it? I thought you had practice," you giggled.

Yuna held a hand around her mouth to whisper, "We snuck out!" She laughed. "Ta-da! We weren't going to just stay in the dorms when we needed to celebrate Scooby Soobie finding a boyfriend! Especially not when his boyfriend also seems really sweet," she crossed her arms.

Chae nodded in agreement, a triumphant hand flying into the air. "And two beers, a whole lot of convincing, and I guess a romantic moment ruined later, here we are!"

Jay finally spoke after standing, gobsmacked. "Aren't you two from that girl group?"

They glanced at him, their faces going pale. "This may be a problem," Yuna stated.

"No, it's not," you smiled. "He's not going to ruin his friend's party or your image, right?" You turned to Jay.

He nodded. "I'm just very confused on why there are two idols here," he added.

Chae scoffed. "And idols can't be friends with their old friends from before they debuted? We've all been best friends for years," she jokingly rolled her eyes.

Yuna clapped her hands. "I'm getting thirsty. Let's drink!" She walked into the apartment without any other instruction, everyone following her.

Jay had finished cooking the meals rather quickly, as everyone challenged Chaeryeong and Yuna to dance battles and bullied Niki and Beomgyu. The latter had formed a small bonding over being the self-proclaimed "punching bags" of their friend groups.

The entire household was now closer to shit-faced than sober, save for Beomgyu and Niki.

"Why don't you drink as much, hyung?" Niki asked Beomgyu.

He held his glass of water up. "Last time I was drunk, I tried to beat the shit out of a cardboard cutout for looking at me funny. Then, I found out it wasn't a cardboard cutout."

"Woah, hyung," Niki gasped. "You couldn't waterboard that information from me, that's so embarrassing."

"Why, you!" Beomgyu went to flick the boy, who dodged quickly.

Heeseung and Soobin had been long asleep, both falling asleep on top of your bed. Everyone was told to stay over since they were "capital-F Fucked up", but the men of the night were given bed privileges.

Keeho, who had sat out after leading his fifth round of karaoke and stand-up comedy specials, looked around and pointed at the small futon he'd pulled out of his room for the night. "Dude, look at that," he gawked.

The two boys followed his finger and locked their eyes on his target of interest. "Someone take a picture, she's going to be so pissed," Beomgyu struggled to not laugh.

Keeho and Niki took their phones out, both taking a photo.

There you and Jay were in the photo, you asleep across his lap as his hand sat where he had been playing with your hair, and him asleep with his head against the top of the seat.

Maybe there was something that invisible line had been holding back all these years, or maybe there was something the two of you had refused to admit was there the entire time. Something fuzzy and warm, something that tinted the world pink around each other, something that felt like home. It was a force much too strong to accept in the moment, but the slow steps were enough to you.

notes: hey guys, this isn't a note I want to leave. I'm sorry it took this long to get this post out, I was intending on proofing this tomorrow and posting it but I decided to do it tonight due to unfortunate circumstances. I drove two hours out from home for the week for a job that I cannot leave on a whim, and my family notified me today that both my grandmother was brought to the er yesterday and that she passed this morning. I understand why they held off on telling me, but I cannot fathom why they felt that telling me everything at once and robbing me of my last chance to tell her goodbye and that I love her would have been better for me. I lived with her for ten years and decided to become her neighbor, so although I've been letting my family think I'm taking it better than everyone else I actually can't even look at a single thing without feeling my body shut down a little and think about how I'm coming home to a house without her. I feel guilty, I feel like shit, I feel like an awful grandkid because I was one of her only two and I wasn't around to help or say goodbye. I feel guilty for enjoying my time out of town still, and I feel even guiltier for sometimes letting her passing slip my mind and forgetting she's gone. I haven't had motivation for anything since I found out, and I feel I won't have the motivation to continue this smau for a few days. I'll be taking some time away due to this unforeseen circumstance, maybe a few days, maybe a few weeks. Please forgive me for this, I know people enjoy the story and this isn't me discontinuing it!! It is still ongoing, however it may not be updated soon. Thank you for reading, I'll make the rest of the story very worth everyone's wait!!

TL;DR: Due to unfortunate circumstances, I won't be able to update this smau for a few days to a few weeks. Please forgive me for the sudden announcement, the wait for this chapter, and the possible wait for future chapters! This smau is NOT discontinued, only on a slight pause. Thank you for reading, enjoying, and supporting, and thank you for your patience and kindness as well!

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