cinder-pelts

[jakeperalta]

walked to the bank in the pouring rain because i had some stuff that needs sorting asap but turns out my local branch is one of only three in the entire country that can't do what i needed so i figured to make the outing less of a waste i'd treat myself to one of the new christmas drinks at costa but idk if they forgot to actually add the syrup or it's just always flavourless but either way i've gone out and got soaked and all i have to show for it is a shitty overpriced latte that doesn't even taste like christmas

[f1goat]

more than friends ; lando norris + part seven

In which your best friend is going to help you to gain more sexual experience and say goodbye to your insecurities, but he's quick to discover that he never wants to share you and your new experiences with others - the only problem being, him having to confess his feelings.

masterlist - playlist

fem!y/n x lando norris

warnings: smut with a plot. minors dni! probably grammar or spelling errors due to english not being my first language.

requested: yes, based on this request: something with a driver sister that’s still a virgin & lando (her bestfriend) suggests to teach her things

part one / part two / part three / part four / part five / part six

Lando almost spits out the sip of his drink he just took. Did he hear that correct? It can’t be, right? His face fall flat when Pierre looks al him while waiting for his answer. Does he really need to answer this? Pierre just asked him if you’re - or in Pierre’s words: his friend, still single. Oscar is also looking at Lando, waiting for the boy to react. The boys are having dinner with each other to end this race weekend and chat. You’re still at the hotel, not wanting to interrupt Lando his boys night. He did however try to get you along with him. He should have stayed with you.

“Lando?” Pierre asks.

“Uh, which friend do you mean?” Lando reacts. He knows for sure it’s about you, but he hopes it’s not. He can’t even imagine who else Pierre could mean. There aren’t more female friends of his who are joining him to the races often. It’s always you. Fucking Pierre.

“The one who is with you almost every race,” Pierre says, “What’s her name again?” 

Great Pierre wants to know if you’re single, but he doesn’t even know your name. It annoys Lando already. Before he can answer his question, Daniel is already speaking. 

“You mean Y/N,” Daniel interrupts. Pierre starts nodding right away, “Yes! Is she still single?”

Oscar stares at Lando. He wonders how Lando is going to react to this. Whatever will happen next can’t be good. It doesn’t surprise him when Lando takes a big gulp of the strong drink in front of him before looking at Pierre again. Oscar lets out a small sigh, this can’t be going well. 

“Yeah, she is,” Lando eventually answers. It pains him to have to say those words. Why are you still single? Why isn’t he making sure that you’re his? Then all this problems would have been solved. He only has to confess that he has been in love with you since he was ten or something, totally easy to do. Fuck.

“Great,” Pierre replies happily, “I’m thinking about asking her on a date soon.”

“You want to date Y/N?” Max asks confused, “Do you even know her?” 

Lando is glad about Max his reaction. He wonders the exact same thing. Oscar is also happy about Max asking questions instead of Lando. Since his teammate is sending angry glares towards the Alpine driver, he almost looks like he wants to kill him. Oscar wonders what’s going on in Lando his head right now, but he’s pretty sure that it’s the same thing as when he told him about Logan wanting to date Y/N. He doesn’t understand why Lando isn’t already dating you.

“Don’t know her yet,” Pierre says with a small smirk.

“I don’t think you’ll match with her,” Lando states. Before Pierre or anyone else can question his statement, Lando already continues to talk. “You’re not her type and I don’t even know if she’s yours when I look at your exes. Y/N doesn’t like to go out all the time, she wants someone to settle with her instead of some meaningless relation which will last a couple months.” Oscar can’t withhold a small laugh, his friend really is the worst.

“I’m changing,” Pierre states, “I want to settle as well and with her.”

“Why her?” Max butts in.

“She’s really good looking,” Pierre answers without even thinking about a better answer. It causes Lando to let out another sigh. Does Pierre only want you for your looks? Doesn’t he even realize what you have to offer beside them? Lando thinks about all you actually have to offer beside being beautiful. He loves how smart you are, but how you can also match his dumb questions sometimes. You can read multiple books on a day, but have trouble with pronouncing the most simple words. Or the way you -

“So do you have her number for me?” Pierre interrupts his thoughts.

“My phone is empty,” Lando quickly replies.

Oscar notices the next big gulp Lando takes from his drink. He also notices the sad, annoyed look on his friends face. Maybe Lando thinks nobody is paying attention to him when he whispers again, but Oscar hears it perfectly. “Fuck,” Lando grunts annoyed, “”Why does everyone want her.”

The night doesn’t continue smoothly like before. Pierre makes multiple remarks about you, which causes Lando to get even more annoyed and to drink even more. The people who are a bit closer with Lando and know him pretty well - like Oscar, Max and Daniel, are quick to notice to jealousy which doesn’t leave Lando his mind anymore. He can only think about Pierre who wants to date you. When Daniel starts to order multiple shots in order to help Lando ‘forget’, Oscar is already afraid for the outcome. Lando is getting more drunk with the second. This can’t go well. 

When almost everyone has left, Oscar is the one who still pays attention to Lando. He doesn’t dare to leave his friend alone like this. He wonders how Lando will ever get back to the hotel without any help. Eventually he takes Lando outside with him, walking towards a taxi with him. He sighs when he thinks about the other drivers who already left without even thinking about their drunk friend. 

The taxi driver is glad to bring them back to the hotel, the only problem seems to be Lando. He doesn’t want to get in the cab. Oscar realizes that Lando is even more drunk then he already thought. He curses Pierre for his god awful remarks about you but also curses Daniel for all the shots. He’s all alone with Lando, who doesn’t want to get in any cab right now. 

“You don’t understand, I want Y/N to come pick me up,” Lando states drunkly when Oscar asks him about his reasons to not want to take the taxi. 

“If you’re getting in the cab you’ll be with her sooner,” Oscar states.

“I want her to pick me up,” Lando slurs.

“I can’t call her awake for this,” Oscar argues.

“Yes you can,” Lando argues back, “She’ll come.”

The taxi driver is already focusing on other people, who are actually getting into the car instead of arguing next to it. Eventually the taxi drives away. Oscar curses Pierre again, this is all his fault. Okay and maybe partly Lando his fault. Why isn’t he just honest about his feelings for you? The two of you should be dating already. How hard can it be.

“Are you going to call her?” Lando asks. It causes Oscar to snap back into reality. He looks at the hopeful eyes of his drunk friend. Eventually he shows him a small nod. Maybe when Lando realizes that you don’t want to pick them up, he’ll get him in a cab. He searches for your contact in his phone and presses the call button. When he hears the phone goes over, he thinks that it might have been smarter to call you with Lando his phone. Before he can change anything, you already pick up the phone. 

“Hi Oscar, what’s up?” You ask him with a surprised tone in your voice.

“Hey, sorry for calling you this late. I hope I didn’t awake you?” Oscar says with a guilty feeling.

“Oh no,” you’re quick to reassure him, “I was still up, I’m waiting for Lando to get back. I can’t sleep peacefully when he’s still out.”

Oscar really wants to slap the both of you until you’re dating each other. Why aren’t you dating yet? He’s getting more tired about the obliviousness between you two with the day. 

“Uh, okay,” he reacts, “Listen, Lando is really drunk and I can’t get him in a cab. He wants you to pick us up. Sorry. I already tried to get him into multiple cabs but with no succes.”

He doesn’t get a quick response this time. Oscar does however hear some vague sounds on your side of the call. Are you actually getting ready to pick them up? Oscar doesn’t believe it. It would be more logical for you to ask to speak to Lando and tell him he needs to get into the cab. He waits for you to say something. 

“Can you text me the location?” You ask Oscar eventually, “I’m already walking towards the car.” 

Oscar doesn’t know how to react at first. He feels extremely confused. Are you really this quick to drop everything so you can come pick up Lando? He now knows for sure that Lando needs to question himself. Lando should ask you to date directly. The two of you should be dating already. This is just plain stupid.

“Yes, yes!” He says to you, “Thank you so much.” Even with all his confused feelings right now, he’s still glad that you’re already getting into the car. You’re making his night a lot easier. 

“Okay, I’ll see you in a bit,” you tell Oscar before ending the call. Oscar is quick to send you his location and sits down next to Lando on the pavement. Lando sends him a hopeful look. 

“She’s insane,” Oscar tells his friend, he’s still confused by your simple reaction. “You really need to ask her on a date soon mate, because why on earth is she coming to pick us up at this time if she isn’t feeling anything for you?”

“That’s our friendship,” Lando answers, “don’t look into this too much.”

“You’re stupid,” Oscar sighs annoyed.

“But she’s coming?” Lando asks. His drunk mind isn’t active enough to realize that this means that you’re coming to pick them up. “Yes,” Oscar replies.

It doesn’t take you longer then ten minutes to arrive at Lando and Oscars location. When you park Lando his rental car on the sideway next to them, they’re quick to step in. Or better said, Oscar is quick to help Lando up and to get into the passenger seat next to you. After that he takes place on the backseat. In the mean time Oscar thanks you multiple times for picking them up this quick.

“Oh it’s nothing,” you shrug it off, “but why is Lando this drunk?” You could have asked the question to Lando himself, but he hasn’t said anything since he’s seated next to you. He is however quite touchy. His hand has found it’s way to your thigh. 

Oscar doubts about his answer, he can’t really tell you about Pierre his statements right? Eventually he just tells you that Lando took to many shots. He doesn’t say anything about the earlier conversations with Pierre in which Lando drank away multiple strong drinks. You chuckle after hearing Oscar his explanation. 

“He really can’t handle his shots,” you joke.

“I noticed,” Oscar sighs, “He kept asking for you though, is that normal when he’s drunk?” Oscar hopes you understand the hint. Since Lando isn’t doing anything about his crush, Oscar decides to help his teammate a bit by dropping some hints. 

“Oh I normally pick him up after he drinks, so I guess it’s out of habit,” you tell Oscar without even thinking about it. Oscar realizes that you don’t get it as well. You’re just as clueless as Lando himself. “But I don’t get why he is this silent,” you continue, “normally Lando is rather talkative when he’s drunk.”

Oscar doesn’t think about his next words. “I think he’s a bit busy with staring at you,” he states. You let out a soft laugh and let go of the steer with one hand, softly giving Lando a small squeeze in his hand before returning to the steering wheel. Lando shows you a small grin. You realize that Oscar is right, Lando has been staring at you since he is in the car. That’s not his normal drunk behavior. You wonder where this is coming from. 

When you’re back at the hotel, you start to realize how drunk Lando is. He’s barely getting out of the car by himself and he can’t walk without almost falling over every time. Oscar and you are both supporting Lando by a side while walking towards the elevator. Lando leans a bit onto you, causing you to almost fall over as well. 

“Do you want to bring him back to his room together?” Oscar asks you. 

“Oh it’ll be fine, we’re sharing a room,” you quickly answer, “You already did enough.”

Oscar shows you a confused look. He didn’t realize that Lando and you shared a room. Is this something that you do every time Lando takes you with him to a race weekend? Is this normal for the two of you? Everything about it screams ‘dating’ but Oscar doubts that either of you knows about that. 

“You’re sure that you two aren’t dating each other?” Oscar asks even confused.

“Can I be honest?” You ask. Oscar is quick to say yes. “Sometimes I think we’re dating as well,” you tell Oscar honestly, “but to answer your question, we’re not dating.” 

Oscar decides to push his luck with his next question. He needs to know it for sure. “Do you want to date him?” He asks you. You look at Lando before answering Oscar his question. It seems like Lando is in his own world right now. He isn’t paying attention to your soft conversation with Oscar. Something that causes you to have to opportunity to be honest with Oscar right now.

“Yes,” you confess, “Why would I otherwise drop everything to come with him to every race he wants me to? And why would I drive late at night in an unknown city to pick him up while he could easily take a cab?”

“Maybe you should tell him that,” Oscar says softly, “because I’m pretty sure that Lando feels the same about you. Don’t you think?” 

The elevator makes a loud sound to tell you that you’re on the right floor. “Oh I need to get out here,” you tell Oscar, “See you later!” 

Oscar sighs. “Yeah,” he says, “Thanks for picking us up again.”

When you finally reached Lando and yours hotel room, it’s another job to get Lando into the bed. You’re glad that you have seen him naked before, because this would have been the first time other wise. Lando is undressing himself, but almost falling over a couple times while doing so. You decide to undress yourself as well, it doesn’t take long before you’re only wearing Lando his shirt and a string. 

Lando is quick to grab you and drag you into the bed with him. He pushes his body against yours, causing you to feel his member against your ass. Lando plays with your hair in the mean time. You notice the smell of alcohol every time Lando breathes. You stay silent about it. 

“Babygirl,” Lando eventually says with a soft voice. It’s the first thing he has said since you have picked him up. He doesn’t continue with his question. You move yourself around, causing you to face Lando. “Yeah?” You ask him. 

“Would you date Pierre?” Lando asks you without giving it a second thought. He’s annoyed about his own bluntness right now. You on the other hand wonder about his question, where did this come from? 

“No,” you answer Lando without really thinking about it, “Pierre seems a fuckboy. He isn’t my type.”

“Thank god,” Lando whispers relieved. 

Before you can say anything else, Lando continues to ask questions. 

“What about Logan, would you date him?” Lando continues. 

“No,” you answer rather quickly. “I don’t think that I’m made to be an American,” you joke. 

Lando asks you another question. You can barely hear him. To be honest, you wonder if you did hear him correctly. Is he really asking you this? 

“Would you date me?” Lando asks you as soft as he can manage. This time he really curses himself. Why did he just ask that? He doesn’t even want to hear your answer. You’re going to say no - just like you don’t want to date Pierre or Logan, you also don’t want to date him. “Just joking,” Lando says quickly, “I’m going to sleep. Goodnight baby.” 

You’re confused by Lando his question, but even more confused by him stating that it was a joke. Nonetheless you wish Lando goodnight as well. You even press a soft kiss against his cheek. It doesn’t take Lando long before he’s deep asleep. Just to be sure, you listen to him snore a couple times. While laying with your head on Lando his chest and listening to his restful heartbeat and deep breaths, you answer his earlier question. 

“I’d love to date you Lando,” you softly whisper, “You only have to ask.”

+++

The following morning Lando awakes with a massive headache. Memories of last night are quick to return to him. It doesn’t take long before he starts to feel ashamed. Why didn’t he just take the taxi? He is ashamed for his own actions, the whining until you picked them up but also the questions he asked you in bed later. The only feeling he can’t shake off is that he feels loved by you. He feels loved when he thinks about you actually picking him up that late in an unknown city. However when he realizes that you hate driving in unknown cities, he’s quick to replace the loved feeling for more shame. Why did he ask that from you?

He also feels ashamed for the questions he asked you before falling asleep. The shame is getting to him. But on the other hand, his questions did cause him to know for sure that you wouldn’t date Pierre or Logan. But still. There are many other boys with interest in you. 

Lando moves a bit away from you to grab his phone. He notices that it’s on the charger, he probably didn’t do that himself. He grabs his phone and reads the texts he got. The first one causes him to already feel bad once again.

Pierre Gasly: Send me y/n her number?

Lando doesn’t even react to the text. Of course he’s not going to send Pierre your number. He’s not an idiot. He ignores the message and continues to read the texts Oscar has send him.

Oscar: you better remember what y/n did for you last night

Oscar: and you better think about a way to thank her for it

Lando is quick to reply to the texts from his teammate. 

Lando: ofc I remember

Lando: how can I thank her? 

Oscar: idk, thats up to you mate

When Lando feels you moving next to him, he realizes that you’re getting awake as well. He looks at you when you slowly open your eyes and adjust them to the bright morning light in the hotel room. You let out a small yawn. The tiredness hasn’t left your body after sleeping, maybe it’s caused by the lack of sleep from last night. 

“Hey Lan,” you softly greet him, “How are you feeling?”

“Terrible,” Lando confesses, “Sorry for last night princess.” 

“It’s okay,” you quickly tell Lando, “you always pick me up as well when I’m drunk, so I could finally do something back for you.” 

“But I could have gotten into the cab,” Lando sighs while feeling annoyed with himself once again, “I know you hate driving in unknown cities and certainly in the night.”  

“Lan,” you softly say while grabbing his hand and drawing small circles on it, “It’s fine, really. I don’t mind it.” 

Lando shows you a boyish grin. You wonder what his next actions are. What is he going to say? His following movements cause that you can already guess it. Lando slowly drapes himself on top of you. He presses soft kisses on your face before lowering his face to other body parts of you. He toys with the waistband the waistband of your string. Happy that you’re not wearing anything else then that string and his shirt. Eventually Lando pulls away your string and throws it onto the ground. 

“Maybe I can thank you like this?” Lando mutters. After saying those words, he’s already pressing kisses against your more private parts. When he presses a soft kiss against your clit and he hears a moan coming from your lips, he feels his own boxers tighten as well. He slides his finger through your slit. It doesn’t take him long to notice that you’re already getting wet. He makes sure to ignore your clit for now, just licking around it slowly. He know he’s a terrible tease, but he can’t help himself. He loves hearing you whine and beg for him. 

“Lan,” you softly whine when he lets his finger enter you, but still uses a slow pace. It’s making you feel all kind of things, but not enough. Lando shows you another boyish grin. “Teasing me isn’t thanking me,” you tell him when his pace keeps unchanged. 

“Patience babygirl,” Lando tells you. You let out a moan when he finally presses his lips onto your clit and softly sucks it inside his mouth. He adds another finger inside your pussy, causing you to let out hard moan. “Fuck,” you mutter. Lando increases his pace with his fingers. You can properly say that he’s finger fucking you right now. He is more aggressive then normal, but in a strange way you like this only more. 

“Fuck Lan,” you let out when he adds another finger. 

“Who’s making you feel this good babygirl?” Lando asks you. He doesn’t know where it’s coming from, but he feels the need to hear you say it’s him. Now that he thinks about it, he knows pretty well that this is happening because of (mainly) Pierre. And all the other boys that have showed their interest in you. 

You show Lando a small smirk, “Hm, I don’t know,” you joke. 

“You don’t know?” Lando asks you with a raised eyebrow. He didn’t expect this answer from you. Since when can you act bratty like this? He shows you a stern look, but increases his pace in the mean time. He’ll show you who makes you feel like this. Lando feels you clenching around his fingers. He sucks harshly onto your clit before releasing it to look at you. 

You haven’t said anything again, the only sound leaving your tongue are moans. While looking stares at you and thinks about his next action, you feel your orgasm reaching. This time Lando decreases his pace. He removes two of his fingers and is barely doing anything that the finger that stays inside of you. 

“Fuck Lan,” you whine, “Why did you stop?”

“That’s what you deserve for that answer,” Lando simply states. He knows that he should be a bit more patient and calm with you, not showing you all of his dominant side - but right now, he can’t really help himself. You show Lando a desperate look, “It was just a joke,” you tell him. 

Lando removes his last finger as well. You can’t even help yourself and try to move yourself closer to him. Fuck, you want him to continue. 

“Funny,” Lando remarks sarcastically. 

“Sorry Lan,” you whine, “Please continue?”

“No,” he states sternly, “You can work for it yourself now.”

Lando pulls you onto his thigh. Making sure that your pussy is right on top of it. He feels your wetness on his thigh on only seconds. “Want to orgasm?” He asks you. You can only nod. “Then help yourself on my thigh.”

“How?” You ask helplessly, you have no idea what Lando means. 

“Grind on it,” Lando explains with a softer voice then before, “move your body and you’ll notice what feels right for you.” 

You try to act out Lando his instructions. It takes you a couple movements before getting what he meant. Now that you know how to do this right, it’s making you feel good. Really good. But not good enough for your orgasm to get closer then before. Lando continues to tease you into the mean time. His hands wander over your body while you keep riding his thigh. He finds your tits and starts to knead them. Suddenly he pinches your nipples, both of them at the same time. You let out a surprised squeak. You feel them burn a bit because of the pinch, but in a strange way it makes you feel even more horny. You try to ride his thigh faster then before. Lando watches your reactions closely, when he pinches your nipples again he can safely say that you like the feeling. He knows for sure when he does it a third time and it causes you to let out a hard moan. 

“Feels good, doesn’t it princess?” Lando asks you. 

“Yeah,” you tell him.

Lando knows you want to say more, he knows this isn’t the same as what he was doing to you before. And maybe, really maybe, that was exactly his plan. “But?” He asks you.

“It’s not enough,” you confess with red cheeks. 

Lando lets out a deep chuckle. “That’s what you get after your bratty joke,” he tells you sternly. You show him the most pleading eyes you can manage, but Lando shakes his head at you. “Why do you deserve my help?” He asks you. 

“Please Lan,” you whine, “I can’t do this myself.”

“Do what?” Lando knows perfectly well that you’re talking about reaching your orgasm, but he wants you to say it for yourself. 

“Orgasm,” you whisper ashamed. 

“What do you want me to do?” He asks, “And make sure that I understand how much you need me.”

You ride his thigh even faster then earlier, but it’s still not enough. “Help me Lan,” you softly beg him, “Please?” Lando doesn’t reply. You continue your pleas. “I need you,” you whimper, “can’t come without you.” Even when those aren’t causing him to help you, you keep continuing. “No one can make me feel like you can,” you tell Lando without giving it a second thought. “Need you to make me feel good.”

That causes Lando to finally land his hands on your body. His ego is almost getting to big for himself right now after hearing all your pleas. He grabs your hips and helps you with your movements. For a moment he wonders if you can come undone just like this, but he decides he doesn’t want to find it. At least, not today. You deserve his help. Lando feels the wetness from your cunt dripping onto him. His thigh is unbelievably wet right now. 

He removes one of his hands from your waist. You directly look at him, wondering if he’s going to stop again. But Lando lets his hand wander to your clit. He starts to stimulate your clitoris, pulling out multiple moans of you. He notices that you’re coming really close right now. His thigh is even getting more wet because of you. Before you cum, he takes a moment to take it in. You look so beautiful riding on his thigh like this, making it wet without feeling ashamed about it just for your own pleasure. His boner is almost bursting. He should picture you like this and show it to every other boy - that way they would know that you’re his. Not that you are. Maybe if everyone smelled his thigh right now they would already get it, since he doesn’t want anyone else to see you like this. 

Fuck, he needs to make you his. Why aren’t you his already? 

When you let out a loud moan, Lando realizes that you are getting awfully close to your orgasm right now. “Ask me,” Lando instructs you. He doesn’t even need to specify himself, you’re already asking him exactly what he wants.

“Can I come?” You ask him, “Please Lan?” 

“Yes babygirl,” Lando answers, “You deserve it.”

That’s all it takes for you to come undone. Your orgasm is crashing over you. Lando pulls you into his arms and lets you fall down over his body. 

“Fucking hell,” you mutter after a bit, “it’s actually insane how you can make me feel.”

“It wasn’t too much?” Lando asks you. Looking back at it, he did go further then he wanted. He stresses that he was a bit too dominant for you. 

“No,” you reply without even thinking about it, “I don’t think it was even close to ‘too much’,” you add honestly. 

“I can push more?” He asks you surprised. 

“Yes,” you state, “I think I’d like that.”

Lando lets out a soft chuckle and shakes his head. He really can’t believe it. You’re actually perfect. He really needs to tell you about his feelings. Maybe now is a good timing? In the mean time you grab your phone and look at it. Lando notices your surprised face.

“Any idea why Pierre Gasly is texting me?” You ask Lando confused.

Fucking hell. Lando lets out an annoyed sigh. Fuck. He shakes his head to answer you. You open the message and start to read it aloud to Lando.

“Hey,” you start reading, ��Got your number from Daniel. You’re really hot. Let’s get to know each other on a date?”

Hot? Lando cringes by the words of Pierre. He doesn’t even know how hot you can be. In the mean time Lando also curses his former teammate, why did Daniel send him your number? 

“What are you going to answer?” Lando asks you quickly. He can’t even help himself and starts to talk badly about Pierre. “You know Pierre is a terrible player right?” He realizes that his jealousy is showing, but he can’t help it. He needs to know that you’re not going to date Pierre. 

“I told you yesterday that I wouldn’t date Pierre,” you tell Lando, “so that’s still the answer.”

Lando doesn’t react verbally. He pulls you back on top of him and presses kisses against your every inch of your face. Lastly putting his lips on your mouth. Thank god. He realizes that the universe is sending him all the hints he can get about needing to ask you to be his girlfriend instead of friend. He really needs to tell you about his feelings. But how? And when? 

part eight

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[januaryembrs]

tea!! anything bugsy and spencer

the one with the surfboard | Spencer Reid x Prentiss!Reader

description: there's only one person who could ever get Spencer Reid in the ocean and that's Bugsy

length: 1.6k

warnings: mention of sex, swearing, Penelope and Reid being thirsty for Morgan and bugsy. Pen calls Derek chocolate thunder but this is nothing new! set at beginning of season six.

part of the trouble almost all my life universe

Spencer settled his feet into the warm sand, trying his hardest to make sure the grain didn’t stick to the thick layer of suncream he’d applied not even five minute earlier, his sunglasses hanging on his nose as he watched Morgan and Bugsy hit a ball to one another over an invisible volleyball net. 

“You not going to take a swim, pretty boy?” Emily asked, basking on her back in a red bikini, soaking up the sun they rarely got so clearly stuck in their office. His face scrunched up, shaking his head until he remembered Emily had her eyes closed, and it only took one look at where JJ was laying incredibly still to know she’d already dozed off on the sun lounger. 

“One litre of ocean water has about one billion microbes of bacteria and around ten billion viruses, so,” He shuddered, his lithe fingers gripping the arms of the chair as he tried not to think about every single one of them entering his mouth if he were to even get close enough it could spray on his face, “No thankyou,” 

“Not even if Bugsy asked you?” Penelope pointed out, a sex on the beach she’d ordered with a giggle and a ‘if Morgan gets lucky.’

His lips twitched, feeling his neck grow hot in a way he told himself was just the sun, and he glanced at the technical analyst with something fleeting, “She did ask me, I told her the exact same thing I’m telling you guys,”

“And?” Emily asked, sensing that hadn’t been the end of the conversation because her sister knew exactly how to get her way when it came to men, Spencer specifically. 

Rubbing under his nose with his knuckle, Spencer downcast his eyes to the beer Bug had handed him, sand sticking to the green, frosted glass as the liquid bubbled freshly inside the bottle, “She said I owed her an hour of fun,”

Penelope’s face lit up at the innuendo of it, nudging him lightly with her shoulder, “Hell yeah, you’re such a stud, Reid. An hour?” 

Emily winced in grotesque, “That’s my sister you’re talking about there, Pen. A sister is very much present here,” 

The blonde shrugged, sipping through her pineapple decorated straw, “Not my fault you have a hot sister, Prentiss,” 

“Can we stop talking about this? Please?” Spencer floundered, his fingers wrapping over the edge of the seat, his jaw tensing as the words hot, hot, hot, smeared all over his brain like a stamp. And everything he’d tried to deny for months bit at his neck so much so he was quickly fiddling with his shirt collar. 

“Agreed,” Emily seconded, taking a long drink of her mojito, and Penelope saw it as a chance to lean in close to him, a smirk on her clementine scented lips.

“Don’t you think watching the two of them play together is like something out of Baywatch,” She murmured, her eyes locking on the two agents that seemed to be on their longest streak yet judging by all the laughing and shouting going on in between hits. 

Spencer had never tuned into Baywatch, nor did he have any intention of doing so. But he did have to admit that watching Bugsy jump around in the ocean, her hair clasped back in a claw clip away from her face, her skin practically glowing from the vitamin D both on her face and on her obscenely beautiful body that was free to see in those bikini shorts and mini top, was more captivating than any tv show he could imagine.

He swallowed, shaking his head, “I think you spend too much time with Derek,”

Penelope held her chest in mock offence, her glass empty in her hand as she looked at him with teasing eyes, “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that, Reid. There’s no such thing as too much chocolate thunder time.” 

Spencer smirked, chuckling to himself and he barely even noticed the two people that were the hot topic of conversation had left the sea until a plastic, bouncy ball went hurtling at Emily’s forehead and rebounded clear off her hairline. 

“FUCK,” The woman cursed, opening her eyes where a few rogue droplets of sea water dribbled down her cheek, her peace and serenity completely wiped away where her little sister stood with a hidden smirk, Derek biting his knuckle to hide his laugh, “You fucker, what was that for?”

“Just making sure you hadn’t cooked alive, you looked very still,” Bugsy held her hands up in innocence, even though Emily stood with a vengeance, rolling her eyes at the cheeky grin she got back. 

Emily muttered something about her being a childish shrew, before she huffed, shoving past her sister and heading towards the beachfront bar, Derek and Penelope in tow. Which left the two of them, and a sleeping JJ, on their tiny corner of the beach. 

“You sure you don’t want to come in?” Bugsy asked, trails of salt water sliding off her hair and down her stomach, the sight of them making Spencer’s mouth dryer than the sand beneath them, “I saw a jellyfish, or at least I think it was, it may have been a condom,” Spencer gagged inside his mouth with an incredulous look on his face, and she chuckled, dropping the ball to his feet, “Relax, I’m kidding. I’m going back in if you want to join, promise I won’t splash you or nothing,” 

“I’m good, you go have fun with your new pal; the condom,” He said with a grossed out pull of his lips, though he smiled when she did and she grabbed the surfboard stuck in the ground beside him, trotting off back towards the ocean, “Remember to reapply soon!” He called, and she flicked a look over her shoulder.

“You're as bad as Emily,” She yelled back, taking off towards the waves with a chuckle, the sea breeze blowing tiny shrapnels of sand against her calves.

Spencer shamefully felt his eyes drop to her butt, and as fast as he did, he looked away, because that was supposed to be his best friend. She’d certainly never made it seem like they were going to be anything else. Perverts watched pretty girls running, perverts watched how their skin lit up with the rays of lights bouncing off the water and their hips swung with every step, and he wasn’t a pervert. 

He was just… human. And who could ever resist her. 

He watched the sea spraying out beneath her feet as she ran right in, and she waded out deep enough that he lost sight of her stomach, the board skirting the surface of the water for a moment. 

She was possibly the coolest person he’d ever met, and she was his best friend. 

He watched her hop up onto her stomach, keeping an eye on the horizon for a big enough wave rolling in. Deciding on an incoming ripple gradually gaining traction, she paddled out towards it, her arms strong and focused from what he could see where he was sat, nursing his bottle of beer. 

“Baby Prentiss got moves,” Morgan whistled as they returned back with drinks cold enough Spencer saw the condensation gathering on the glass already, though that was the only time he actually tore his eyes away from her as she got further away from the safety of land, the black band attaching her ankle to the board the only thing he could really see of her. 

“She talked some bar boy into teaching her the Summer she spent in Mexico with my mom,” Emily shook her head as they watched her jump up into a steady stand, the rip gathering under her surfboard and soon she was floating over the water, the concentration evident on her face as she held her arms out to balance. 

She went a few more times, the group settling into the quiet they had whenever she was busy, because she was not exactly known for her calm nature, yet Spencer’s eyes were the only ones glued to her figure the entire time, ever the worrier when it came to her daredevil side. 

And it was like he was watching it in slow motion; on her fifth turn riding a particularly quick rip her balance got thrown off. Nothing serious, it was only a few ten yards out offshore, and she was a strong swimmer, he’d seen it. She quickly lowered herself back into a straddled sit, only for the wave to gain traction before it fizzled out, crashing into the side of her board right as she was about to take a breath, and he watched her flip sidewards into the water, the tide bringing her close enough he knew she’d be able to stand.

But she didn’t come up for a few moments, and it was enough that Spencer was out of his seat, taking off jogging towards the ocean, every statistic that had been whizzing through that big brain of his about how filthy the water was suddenly evaporating as he watched her throw a hand up to the surface, her board skirting above her being the only pointer for him where to go. 

By the time he made it over to her, he was knee deep before he thought of the consequences, the cold hitting him like a freight train, and she was already dragging herself towards land on her hands and knees, her hair stuck to her face, her claw clip ripped out by the current.

“Are you okay?” He asked, but she didn’t respond, only to cough up sea water with a screwed up expression that told him just how horrible it tasted. 

“I need a beer,” She wheezed, as he lifted his hands under her arms, tugging her to her feet, his entire torso getting drenched as she clung onto him for safety, still spluttering ocean out of her lungs. 

And he shook his head with a smile, brushing her hair back enough for her to see, her eyes sore and red with angry blood vessels where he imagined it stung to get the salty water in them, and all but dragged her back up the rest of the beach where Derek and Emily were laughing at her fail so hard they’d woken JJ up. 

“Yasmine Bleeth never ate seawater, Bug, what happened?” Morgan jeered, earning him a middle finger to the face as Penelope offered her a nice big gulp of a margarita to clear her taste buds. 

And for the first time all day, Spencer wasn’t even thinking about how much bacteria was all over his skin if it meant she was alright.

[ripdragonbeans]

You Win Epilogue // modern!Aemond x Reader

Summary: You and Aemond have always had a solid relationship built in trust and love. All that is challenged when Aemond has to take a class led by Professor Alys Rivers. Once she's gone, though, how do the two of you heal?

TW: p in v, oral (m and f receiving), manipulation, indefinitely

Part 1 • Part 2

It has been two months since you and Aemond have reconciled, for lack of a better term. Things were not great but they weren’t terrible either. Alys still haunted both of you. For you, those images she planted in your head as well as ones that you made up yourself. For Aemond, everything about her haunted him. He desperately wanted Alys out of his head, out of his life, but she lingered like a scent that wouldn’t go away. Every time you touched Aemond you couldn’t help but wonder if Alys touched him the way you did.

Sex was off the table. Aemond had tried, but you had denied him. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him like that, all vulnerable, because he had been vulnerable with Alys. It disgusted you, how he let her touch him. Not only was she his professor, but there was at least a fifteen year difference. And of course, the face that he betrayed your promise of being faithful.

When Cregan and Jason came out with their own encounters with Professor Alys Rivers, everything became clear. She preyed on other students just like she had with Aemond. A manipulator was what she was.

On one hand, knowing Aemond was not the only one made you feel better, but on the other it made you see red with anger. How dare she use students for her own entertainment like that? The fact that she was only fired was a mercy to her. In your opinion, her whole career should be upended.

“How are you feeling, Pri-” Aemond stopped himself before he called you the once cherished name.

“I’m feeling okay. Just lost in my thoughts, I guess.”

“Can I sit down?” He gestured to the empty seat on the couch.

You smiled at him. “Of course.”

Silently, Aemond took his seat and the two of you sat there in the nice quiet. This was how most of your time was spent now. No touching, no kissing, just being in each other’s presence was enough for now.

You wished things could go back to normal but you know that is impossible. There will always be the memories and knowledge of what happened in the past; something that cannot be undone.

“I miss us,” you whispered.

Aemond gently reached for your hand and when you didn’t pull away he let out a silent sigh of relief. “I miss us, too. If I could do anything to take it all back, I would.”

“I know you would. It’s just all fucked up, huh?”

“Yeah.”

You rubbed your thumb against his knuckles and held on tight. While you couldn’t have everything right off the bat, at least you could still have this.

Three months have passed and slowly but surely things were getting better between the two of you. Physical contact no longer felt tainted and you could hold his hand in public without being afraid.

Alys has been less of a menace in your mind, which you have been grateful for. You moved back in with Aemond but haven't slept in the same bed as him. That's still too much, too intimate for you.

“Do you think we're getting better?” You asked Aemond one day. You were sitting at a cafe table.

“I like to think we are,” he replied. “I'll do whatever it takes.”

“What if it's not enough? What if we can never be happy together again?”

You began to worry. You couldn't imagine a life without Aemond, can't imagine sharing your life with anyone else.

“We are going to make it. I promise, I swear on my mother’s life that we will be okay.”

A single tear ran down your cheek.

Aemond was quick to wipe it away. You leaned into his touch. He was so warm, so familiar, so comforting.

“One step at a time,” you reminded yourself.

Six months had passed and there was laughter again. Laughter and smiles and hugs and kisses. Alys was a dissipating thought to both of you. She wasn't around so she couldn't hurt either of you anymore. Until you ran into her.

 Finally, you and Aemond were going on steady dates at least once a week again. Back at your usual park, it felt nice to return to some sense of normalcy.

“Did you really say that to your professor?” You giggled. “Aemond, that's terrible!”

 He shrugged. “He's a professor, he should have decent knowledge of the subject he's teaching.”

You bumped Aemond with your shoulder and continued walking until he grabbed your hand to stop.

 “She's here,” he whispered. “Why the fuck is she here?”

 You gave him a confused look. “What are you talk - oh.”

 Across the other side of a little bridge was Alys. She was on a run, just like last time. Seeing her made you tense up. Not again. This can't be happening again. Aemond’s hands began to get sweaty and you looked at him with a broken look. You two were doing so well.

 “Oh, the lovely couple,” cooed Alys when she crossed the bridge. She put her hands on her hips and leaned backwards to stretch, extenuating her chest. “I've missed you, Aemond. I'm sure you've missed me. Though I will say I'm surprised to see the two of you together.”

“Shut up, Professor Rivers,” Aemond ground out.

Alys walked up to Aemond, completely ignoring you. “Don't ‘Professor Rivers’ me now, babe. We both know where your true loyalty lies.” She went to touch him arm but Aemond yanked back and stepped closer to you.

“You fucking ruined me.”

“No, babe, you did that yourself.” Alys winked at him then turned to you. “Poor thing, choosing to be with the one who broke your heart. You're such a desperate little thing.”

“Get away from us,” you growled.

Alys cocked her head to the side. “Hm. I see the pup has some bite. Okay, I'll leave you two alone. But don't be surprised when he comes running back to me.” With one last wink to Aemond she was back to her jog.

Silence.

“I hate her,” he mumbled.

You looked down at the ground, too scared to see Aemond’s face. Alys’ taunt played in your head. He wouldn't go back to her. No.

“Is it true?” You hesitantly asked. “Would you go back to her?”

Immediately, Aemond turned to face you and grabbed your other hand. “No. I will never go back to her,” he swore. “Not only did she ruin us and you but she ruined me as well. I refuse to go back to her. You are all I want, all I need.”

Taking a shaky breath, you squeezed his hands. “I believe you, but it's sometimes hard to wrap my head around that.”

“I understand that you wouldn't trust me, and that's okay. I'll wait for you.”

Nine months had gone by and Alys has not shown up again, thankfully. Kisses, hugs, laughter. It was all back. Your trust has grown and your bond has become strong again.

Moving into the same room as Aemond was daunting but you knew it was time to be together again.

“Aemond,” you breathed against his neck. “I need you please.”

You were rocking yourself against him. He was hard underneath and feeling it was glorious. How you had missed this.

Aemond wrapped his arm around your waist. He kissed you back with passion and gentleness. “You will have me, I promise.”

With one smooth movement he locked your ankles around his waist so he could move you to the bedroom. With a flop you fell into the bed, arms open wide for Aemond to lay on top of you.

“Take it all off of me. Please,” you whined.

Without saying anything, he was quick to help you undress and then undress himself. You ran a hand down his chest, loving the feel of him under your hand. Lower you went, grabbing the thickness of his cock.

Aemond groaned as you bent down to give his head a small lick. He moaned as you took him all in your mouth. It felt great to make him feel this good again. You bobbed your head up and down, getting into a steady rhythm. Whatever you couldn't fit in your mouth you use your hand. Droll was dripping from your mouth but you didn't care. When Aemond started shaking, you released him with an obscene pop.

“My turn,” he growled.

Aemond pushed you back on the bed and spread your legs open. He kissed the inside of your thighs before slowly making his way to your core. You clenched around nothing as he began to kiss and pick and suck your clit. He had you arching your back into his touch. He had you moaning his name as he brought you to your first climax. At one point he removed his mouth and replaced it with his fingers, pumping in and out of you. He licked your clit while hitting that special spot inside you over and over again.

“Please, Aemond, I need you inside me,” you mumbled.

He was quick to stop and position himself in front of your entrance. Before he went any farther he asked if you were sure.

“Yes, I'm ready for you,” you told him. “All of you.”

In one swift motion, Aemond sheathed himself inside you. It felt so right like this. You and Aemond were made for each other. There is no other person for either of you.

Together you found a good rhythm, your hips rising up to meet his thrusts. He hit that special spot inside you each time and it had you clenching hard around him.

“Fuck, I can tell you're close,” he rasped. He bent down to capture your lips in a searing kiss. “Will you come for me?”

You nodded your head weakly.

“Good girl.”

Aemond picked up the pace, rutting hard into you. You soon became limp with pleasure, losing the energy to do anything except lay there as Aemond pounded his cock inside you. It was the best thing you have felt in months.

“I'm going to come!” you cried.

“Come for me. Holy fuck -”

Aemond’s thrusts became erratic as you fucked you through your orgasm. All you could see were stars. You vaguely remember him finishing inside you but you were so wrapped up in your own pleasure it was only secondary to you.

He collapsed on top of you, careful not to completely squash you underneath him. Kissing you cheek gently, he rolled over to be next to you. Before he could pull away, you cradled his face and caught him in a passionate kiss. When you broke apart you looked in his eye and saw love.

“I love you, Aemond. And I don't want to let go. Ever,” you almost began crying.

“I love you too, and I promise I won't leave you again,” He pressed another kiss to your forehead. “My Princess,” he murmured.

And for the first time in nine months, your heart filled with love.

[lady-djarin]

home

joel miller x f!reader (one shot)

warnings/tags: sickening fluff, established relationship, no outbreak, sarah’s alive and well, some touching and kissing between reader and joel, still adult content but no p in v. mdni

word count: 2.6k

a/n: not edited much (that’s my motto) but i just kinda dumped this out in one go so it could be bad. who knows.

* ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

“Dad!”

Ever since Sarah entered middle school she has become quite loud.

“Dad, there you are,” she barreled into the living room where you and Joel sat on the couch. “I need you to sign this.”

She pushes a piece of paper into his face along with a pen. He quints at it to read the small print. You grab it out of his hands when he tries to locate his glasses that are nowhere in sight.

“Oh the dance! How fun,” you handed it back to him and made sure he signed it as you shot Sarah a wink as she bounced happily on her toes.

You have been dating the single dad for around six months and you have grown quite close with Sarah. Joel has expressed how nervous he is about his baby girl getting older and all the things that come along with it. More than anything else he hates the idea of her dating. He signs the paper with his usual grumpy frown but does it nonetheless and in turn Sarah squeals and jumps up and down in excitement.

“Can you take me shopping tomorrow, I only have a week to shop for a dress,” Sarah put on her best puppy dog face that usually works on her father.

“I’m sorry angel I’ve got a job tomorrow,” he did look genuinely upset that he couldn’t spend the time with his daughter.

“I’ll take you, we can have a girls day,” you had been wanting to spend some one on one time with Sarah and this was the perfect opportunity.

“Oh my god, thank you!” She squealed again and jumped on you and wrapped you in a tight hug. She ran up the stairs talking mostly to herself about what kind of dress and makeup she was planning for her first dance.

“Thank you darlin’, you didn’t have to do that.” He rubbed your leg with his large warm hand and the other came up to hold your face as he kissed you tenderly.

“Oh please, I love that kid. Plus, I don’t think shopping is your forte,” you both laughed at how true that was.

Even though you’ve only been seeing Joel for a few months, you have never felt so at home. He and Sarah have welcomed you in like you were always meant to fit in their little family. You knew you were never one to have kids of your own but the young girl makes you feel more maternal than you ever have in your life.

~

You and Sarah spend the day in the mall finding stores to invade and try on every dress possible. She finally settled on a beautiful deep purple shimmery one that made her look way older than she needed to, but it was appropriate. Afterwards you found the food court and dug into some pizza and garlic knots.

“So… since your dad will never bring this up… are you going with anyone to the dance? Like maybe a boy? or girl, I don't judge.”

You knew she probably didn’t want to talk about it as pre-teens never do but you wanted to make sure she wasn’t going to do anything stupid. Her cheeks blushed a deep shade of crimson but she giggled slightly, telling you there was someone.

“I mean… I’m not going with anyone but my friends but…”

She was avoiding telling you the truth, maybe because she thought you’d rat her out to her dad.

“Look Sarah… I'm not asking to be a snitch, I just want to make sure you’re being safe and smart, that's all.”

She looked up at you with shyness but trust in her deep brown eyes.

“There is this boy… Ben,” she had the most radiant smile on her face telling you about her crush. He’s a little older than her but in the same grade and apparently very sweet and has blue eyes and dark blonde hair. You can imagine her sitting in class staring at him instead of listening to the teacher.

“So, are you going to meet him at the dance?”

“I mean we haven’t made plans but… I told him I’d see him there, and he followed me on instagram!”

It all reminded you of the days before adult pressure and complicated feelings. You smiled as she continued to tell you about him and the things she found endearing.

“Ok now, I have to ask and be the annoying adult but have you, you know… done anything with boys before?”

While she was only just under thirteen you still had to make sure, kids do anything these days.

“Like what?” She gave you a scrunched confused face then slowly realized what you were asking. “Like kissing?! Oh no that’s gross, boys smell anyway…,” she seemed to maintain her innocence for a while longer.

Thank god.

“Well that’s fair, but just remember, if a boy ever tries to do anything you don’t like, you can always say no. Don’t ever feel like you have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

She looked a little confused at your instruction but nodded anyway. She’s a very smart kid and strong willed, you have full faith in her.

The rest of the day was spent wandering around the mall and you both finally decided to end up getting your nails done.

~

Joel came home to find you both cooking dinner, a hoard of shopping bags littered the house.

“There’s my girls,” he ruffled his daughter's hair and covered her eyes jokingly as he kissed you deeply. “How was shopping? Successful it seems like.”

“Very…,” Joel’s eyes kept flicking down to your lips, as they often did when he got home from work.

“Dad, look! We got our nails done!” She splayed her fingers out so he could inspect her manicure. You let her get some slightly ‘grownup’ nails, small extensions with french tips. She said she’ll be the talk of the dance.

“Oh look at that… my little girl is all grown up…,” he looked a little queasy and you both laughed at his reluctance to let her grow up.

“Sarah, why don’t you put these bags away and I'll finish dinner, ok?”

She hugged you tight around your middle and mumbled about a million ‘thank you’s into the fabric of your shirt before grabbing her bags and darting up the stairs.

As soon as she disappeared Joel grabbed your hips as he stood behind you and pulled you into his hard chest. He attached his lips to your neck and ran his hands over your curves.

“Have I told you how much I love you?” His voice was low and gravely in your ear.

“Mmm, not today…”

He pulled you impossibly closer and nuzzled his mouth against your neck. “Well I do, I love you so damn much,” he continued kissing down your neck and any skin he could reach. “Sarah loves you too you know, she’s always talking about you…”

It felt like he wanted to talk about something else, something more. Your relationship has been going so well and it kind of feels like it’s time to take the next step. While you both know that this is it, there’s no one else for either of you, it might not be exactly time yet to tie the knot. However you have talked about sharing a space, the idea of living together is exciting to both of you.

“Well I love her, she’s a great kid, because you’re a great dad.” You turned in his arms and returned the kisses along his jaw. Just as you slid your hands into his back pockets, loud very teen sounding footsteps came racing down the stairs. You pulled away from each other but Sarah was too busy looking at her nails to notice. The timer on the oven beeped and as Joel and his daughter set the table you gathered the rest of dinner.

You sat around the table like you always did on Saturday nights and talked about the plans for the next week and the dance. You really did love your little found family.

~

The following Saturday you sat in Sarah’s room with her and a couple friends of hers, helping do their hair and makeup. Joel happened to have a poker game tonight with Tommy so he said bye just before the teen girl screaming got too loud. So here you were, a fully grown woman essentially playing dress up with a few 13 year olds. But you couldn’t be happier.

After the girls were ready and a lengthy photoshoot ensued, you were off. Four screaming voices all trying to harmonize to some pop song over the radio made your ears ring but seeing Sarah so happy made it worth it.

The plan was to pick her up around 10pm when it ended.

So you were super confused when you got a call from Sarah around 8:30pm.

“Hey girl, what’s going on? You ok?”

All you heard at first was a sniffle, then a deep breath before her wobbly voice came over the speaker. “N-no, not really…”

Your heart stopped for a second but you tried to stay calm.

“What’s wrong?” You tried to hide the urgency in your voice.

“Ben… he—“ hiccup “He was a… a total jerk!” Her voice was strained and scratchy like she had been crying for some time.

“Oh honey, I’m so sorry… You know what, you stay in the office, ok? I'm going to come get you.”

She only mumbled a quiet ‘ok, bye’ before you slammed the phone down on the receiver and grabbed your keys. You shaved off probably five to ten whole minutes speeding through the streets to the school.

You quickly make your way to the office and find her with mascara running down her cheeks. She hiccuped and sniffled when she saw you before sluggishly standing and wrapping her arms around you. She sobbed slightly into your sweatshirt and you wrapped the one you brought her around her shoulders. After the teacher who waited with her waved you out, you gathered her into your car and made your way home.

But before reaching the familiar street you had an idea. Sarah had been slumped in her seat with the sweatshirt wrapped tight to her form until she saw the neon lights. You swore you saw her eyes light up when she saw the ‘Dairy Queen’ sign and it warmed your heart.

She got her usual birthday cake flavor of course, and you got your favorite. Before now you tried to let her have a few breathing moments but as you settled in the parking lot you tried to get some information from her.

“Are you ok?”

“Boys are so stupid…,” another tear slipped out of her eye.

“I know… I hate to say it but they don’t get much better.” You managed to get a laugh out of her which was an improvement. “What did Ben do?”

She spooned the thick ice cream into her mouth and tried to talk around it. “H-he was with that girl Rebecca all night and I tried to say ‘hi’ but he ignored me and pretended I wasn’t there. They were laughing at me…,” She resolved into sobs again and you rubbed her shoulder to try and comfort as best as you could.

“Oh god I’m sorry that’s so… shitty.” You never really cursed around her as she’s still young but this felt appropriate. It also helped draw out a laugh again, which made you both smile. “Look, boys like that are not worth your time. He’s playing games and you don’t want a boy who plays games. If anyone ever talks to you like that, it means they don’t respect you. You should only be friends, or more, with someone who respects you. Does that make sense?”

She looked at you with her red-rimmed and puffy eyes and you knew she got it. Of course she got it, she’s a smart kid.

“Yeah, I think so. Thank you… I'm sorry I freaked you out.” The light returned to her eyes as she giggled at her own words.

“You didn’t freak me out… too bad.” You were both laughing now, recalling the way you sped over to the school. “Look we can talk more if you want but I think you need some ‘you’ time tonight. Let’s get you some of my nice bath stuff and we can do a little spa night?”

“That sounds nice… thank you.” She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around your neck. On the way home you told her stories of things boys had done to you in the past. You did make sure to let her know that her dad was not one of them, he was the best kind of guy. Once you arrived home you gave her some bath stuff and gave her a clean towel and told her you’d wait downstairs for her.

You made some tea in the meantime and shortly after, Joel got home. Before he said anything he looked towards the stairs and heard the shower running. He gave you a quizzical look and you sighed, knowing he wasn’t going to like it.

“So Sarah had me pick her up early…”

He already looked concerned.

“She’s fine… it was boy drama. We talked and she’s still upset but she’ll live.”

He breathed out a dramatic sigh and you welcomed him into your arms.

“This is what I was worried about,” he sounded so defeated.

“Joel, it’s bound to happen. Every girl gets her heart broken, it’s inevitable unfortunately.” You rubbed your palm over his stubble and looked over his tired features. “She’s smart and strong willed. Boys will be intimidated by her when she realizes it.”

He softened at that. “Thank you for helping her so much, she really has opened up since knowing you.”

“She’s really something, just like her dad. He’s not too shabby,” you giggled as he pinched your waist.

“I’m not too shabby? That’s sweet.”

You mirrored his smile as he boxed you between himself and the kitchen counter. He kissed you deeply, pushing his tongue between your lips, tasting every inch of you. Your hum reverberated through your chest into his and your skin lit on fire from the inside out. Desire instantly pooled in your lower stomach and you ground your hips into his. This only resulted in his hard, jean clad thigh slipping between yours and pushing against your clothed sex. You moaned into his mouth and just as you felt like you were going to lose it, Joel pulls away and then you hear descending footsteps.

Sarah reaches the bottom but doesn’t come down, “I’m going to go to bed, I’m really tired. Sorry dad.”

“That’s ok angel, you sleep good. Love you.”

“Love you guys,” then she’s gone.

“‘Love you guys’?” you look at Joel with surprise. “Did she just say she loves me?”

He just stares down at you with this tender look, unresponsive for a few moments.

“Move in with me.”

It wasn’t a question but a plea. Like he couldn’t imagine you’d say no. Because why would you?

“Really?” Your heart raced.

“Yes really, we both want you here. More than anything.”

“Of course, I’d love to!” You squealed like Sarah did earlier tonight and launched yourself at him. He caught you around the middle and pulled you up, sounding giddy as you did while he spun you around.

You spent the first night in your now full time shared bed after Joel showed you all the ways he truly, passionately loved you.

You knew you were finally home.

[ohtobeleah]

Secret Sacrifices // Jake Seresin

Chapter One: [Mermaids Don’t Exist]

Summary: Jake continues to plays your knight in shining armour when tensions rise between you and an overly intoxicated patron. Bob brings up a mutual memory.

Warnings: Jake Seresin x F!reader. Witness Protection F!reader. Sexually degrading comments made towards reader. Sexual tension, trauma. Mentions of death & violence.

Word Count: 3.5k

Author Note: Still not writing as much as I once was but I’m getting back into the swing of things. Any comments, thoughts or concepts are welcome!

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Dreams mainly occur when the body falls into a stage of sleep referred to as R.E.M. Rapid eye movement occurs when the brain and body are finally able to completely rest. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that when your body is able to rest, it allows you to do so. 

“We’ll find you, Y/n!” 

Nightmares are typically thought to be an evolutionary conserved trait. Some researchers believe that nightmares provide a rehearsal for life-or-death situations. Before you lived one? You would have said something along the lines of ‘that checks out.’

“No no no no please, Patrick, stay with me—“ 

Some researchers believe nightmares to be a practical experience for many people as it allows the brain to run through multiple different algorithms to find the most desirable strategies, and solutions to often critical and complex situations. 

From a procedural standpoint, simply imagining doing an action can improve your performance.  

“I love you—take Charlie.”

This applies when we simply imagine doing an action such as playing the piano or running for your life after being run off the road, it activates something called a mirror neuron. 

“You have no idea what you’re dealing with here, girly.” 

In theory, the more nightmares you have, the more of those algorithms your brain is able to run, and the more prepared you’re likely to be for the daily struggle of survival. 

But evolution herself is seen by the scientific community more so as a tinkerer than as an inventor. 

“Oh god—please, not my baby, please! Someone! Help us!” 

So, that’s probably why you have the same nightmare over and over and over again every single night. 

Every morning you wake in the same way, with your face pressed into your pillow and your chest sinking into your mattress. Secretly, every morning you wished that your pillow would have suffocated you in your sleep so that today would forever be unobtainable. But you couldn’t do that, no. Not when the only way to bring a sense of worth to your life was to keep putting one foot in front of the other. 

With a groan and a look that spoke volumes to your lack of self-esteem, you rolled onto your back and let out a heavy sigh. Your hands were quick to shield your eyes from the mid-afternoon rays beaming into your bedroom via the slightly cracked windows. 

“Your name is Y/n Y/l/n, you are doing the right thing.”

Guilt and grief aren’t linear emotions. They don’t have a perception of how much time has passed. Realistically it had been three years, six months, and two days since your entire world had been flipped upside down. But every morning, after seeing your husband bleeding to death as he sat pressed against the steering wheel, and having held your five-year-old son in your arms while he took his last breath, the wound was reopened.

And the clock always resets.

“Ah, there she is.” You couldn’t help but hang your head in shame almost. Penny’s glare from behind the bar was as piercing and sharp as it was endearing and playful. Like a woman who took no shit from no one. “You know, you’d think management would be here on time more frequently than whatever the hell this is.” All you could do was take the semi-serious scattering from the owner of the bar you’d been lucky enough to be set up with a pretty good gig at. “Get over here and give me a hand will ya?” 

“Sorry, Penny—” There wasn’t much more you could say to justify yourself. You woke up late, got ready slowly, and got lost in the steam of your mid-afternoon shower as you fought off the existential dread that was your current situation. “Flat tyre,” You shrugged like it wasn’t that big of a deal that you were currently twenty-three minutes late for your shift, “I’ll make it up to you.” 

“Yeah well, you can start by clearing off the table by the piano,” Penny smiled as she nudged her head in the direction of the unruly table of patrons that had surely had far too much to drink. “Think Rick’s had a little more than his liver would care to admit.” 

“Yeah righto,” you sighed as you came behind the bar, doing up your apron as you looked around at the utter mess that had become the place. “I’ll sort him out.” 

North Island wasn’t somewhere you ever saw yourself living, but that was the real kicker in all of this. You didn’t mind the picturesque town with clear blue skies and water that mirrored it. But being the outsider, being the new resident, being the Hard Deck’s newest manager was all some of these people saw you as. Six months in a small Naval town was barely a dint in the years some of these families had been living here. 

“Aw hello, Brewer!” Rick Spencer, the resident rioter, cooed as he beamed your way. For someone in their mid-sixties, he surely went alright. “What brings you in on this fine Saturday afternoon?”

Typical - If you could have, you would have rolled your eyes so far into the back of your head you would have fallen over. Instead, you chose to smile and settle into the nightlife festivities with a can-do attitude and a rather cheeky smile. 

“Came to check on you, Spence? How’s everything over here boys?” It wasn’t uncommon for you to entertain the banter most of the patrons would give you. Most of the locals had caught on quickly that you enjoyed a good laugh every now and again but also knew how to handle your own. 

But there's always one in every group, isn’t there? 

“Would be a hell of a lot better if the barmaid was a little more topless! Right boys!?” A man you hadn’t seen before interrupted before a roar of ‘yeahs’ and agreements were made. Fists and beer bottles along with spirits alike slammed against the tabletop. “Come on girly—” The man continued as you stood there holding the empty bar tray, ready and waiting to collect the empties that littered the table. “Get your kit off.” 

“I don’t think so, boys,” You politely declined the offer of public indecency. “Perhaps in another lifetime.” 

“Sorry about him, Brewer,” Rick explained as he shook his head and stood from his seat at the booth. “My nephew’s here for a few days.”  

“Yeah well, so long as he remembers I run the joint and can have him tossed any time,” You replied sternly. “Keep him in line, Rick.” 

“Oh come on now, sweetheart, I was only joking!” The man you only knew as the nephew chuckled as he overheard your comment. “It’s slim pickings around here anyway, you just look like the best of a bad bunch is all.” 

“Hey!” That voice, that far too familiar voice echoed through the crowd. “You speak to her, or any woman for that matter, like that again? So help me god I’ll punch your teeth right through the back of your skull.” Jake snarled as he came to stand in front of you with his back nearly pressed right into your chest. “Got it!?” The close proximity, the overwhelming aroma of the familiar cologne, and the notes of burnt orange and bourbon made your heart warm. It all had your heart beating against your chest with a force so intense you thought it might break through. 

“Yeah right,” the man only known as the nephew agreed. “Sorry, sweetheart, I’ll get on the waters for a while.” 

“That and a pretty big tip should call us even,” you added with envy conviction laced in your voice that you even had yourself fooled that everything was alright. “Let me just grab these empties for you fellas.” 

You didn’t mess around with it, you simply let the group fall back into their regular chatter as you filled your tray. 

Jake stood with crossed arms a little off to the side, eyeing off all the men who sat idly. Fucking pricks. 

“Been here all of five fucking minutes—” Jake could sense your frustration as you turned into him. At first, he didn’t move, he simply stood there drinking you in as you held the now full tray of dirty glassware. 

“You didn’t have to do that for me,” was all you said. 

With wandering eyes, Jake didn’t miss a single inch of you. 

“I know,” Jake smiled softly as he reached around to lead you back to the bar for a moment to decompress. His hand gently fell to the small of your back as you walked side by side, “I know you’re capable of taking care of yourself, but just because you’re capable? Doesn’t mean you have to go it alone.” 

Alone, that’s all you’d ever been for the last three years. 

“Yeah, yeah I guess you’re right,” the sigh that left your body allowed your shoulders to relax as you placed the tray onto the bar and slid it over for Penny to take. “Thanks, Jake, I owe you one.” 

Jake Seresin had never been the kind of guy who saw himself settling down. But when he first saw you, that thought hadn’t left his mind. 

“Name a time and place,” Jake teased as he sent you a wink. It didn’t take Jake long to find himself at home up by the bar, perched on one of the bar stools as he entertained his favourite bartender. “I’ve always wondered what our first date would be like.” 

“Do I look like I came down in the last shower, Seresin?” You knew Jake had a thing for you, it wasn’t all that hard to put together. But it could never work, not in a million years. Not when you were playing pretend on a professional basis.

“What’s that even mean?” Jake asked as he leaned his elbows on top of the bar, grinning ear to ear as he pressed your buttons more. 

“It means—“ You cooed as you leaned into his space, making it known that the flirting was welcome, but the end goal wasn’t in sight. “I know you’re just trying to get in my pants.” 

“Pretty good-looking set of pants if I do say so myself,” Jake teased as his eyes trailed down the expanse of your body, then back up. Those emerald cities of his were full of complex wonder and undoubtable loyalty. Something you could never give back. “But despite the fact I think you’re pants would look a hell of a lot better in a pile on my bedroom floor, I’m not just doing any of this for a chance to, well, you know what I mean.” 

You did know what Jake meant, and for all intents and purposes you could admit to yourself that it sounded very tempting. But you knew what the repercussions would be.

“Jake, that’s all very sweet of you,” you felt as if you had this very conversation every week. The gentle let down. The kind-ish conversation where you reminded the overly-confident and somewhat self-assured Aviator that you weren’t looking for love or lust, or anything. Besides, there were already too many people looking for you. “But you know, as much as I think you’re a good guy and friend, I’m not interested.” 

Jake stood silently before you, drinking in all that was you. From the lines etched into your forehead to the small scar that ran through your left eyebrow. He wasn’t listening, there was just something about you. Something so intriguing that he couldn’t stop trying to win you over. He couldn’t stop trying to get you to give him just one chance. One chance was all Jake wanted to convince you he wasn’t everything he knew people had told you he was. 

“What would you say if I asked you to–” Before Jake had a chance to finish his question, the echoing sound of a glass shattering into smitherings against the wooden flooring, interrupted his train of thought. 

“OOOIII– TAXI!” It was almost as if all the patrons, besides Jake that was, had all congealed into one as they yelled shouted and cheered towards the man who had dropped his glass. With a heavy sigh and a quick roll of the eyes, you knew you would be the one who ultimately had to clear the mess. 

“I should probably get back to work.” The silence that came from Jake was deafening as you pulled away from where you had been standing far too close to a man you thought you didn’t want. A man you couldn’t have even if deep down you really wanted. Life was unfair like that. You couldn’t have anything you wanted, anything you loved. Anything that made you happy in the smallest of ways. 

“There’s really no chance of getting you to agree to just one date, is there Brewer?” Jake watched as you made your over to where you kept the cleaning supplies in a small section behind the bar. 

“If you already know that then why do you constantly make such an effort?” It was the look on your face that told Jake everything he needed to know. There was no chance in hell he was ever getting that date. 

But Jake Seresin never gave up without a fight, and he sure as hell wasn’t about to now. 

“Because you gentled me, Brewer,” Jake Seresin had never been the type of person who wanted to settle down. He was always so content with the relations he chose to have and the way he chose to have them. Short simple quick flings. Girlfriends who lasted no longer than a year and one-night stands he’d promise to call but never got their numbers. But then there was you. “No one’s ever done that before.” 

“Please don’t put that on my shoulders, Jake,” You weren't sure how to respond to that, how to process that kind of admission. “Just lay off the heroics for a while alright? I don’t want people getting the wrong impression.” 

“That impression would be?” Jake questioned like you’d just insulted his very being. That it would be a crime to love him. 

“Jake, I have a job to do alright,” It wasn’t that you were angry or upset that Jake cared for and about you. It was more frustration on your part for not being able to act on your own feelings towards him. It had been three years since your husband died. Three years since you felt the loving embrace of another human being. That alone was enough to frustrate anyone. “Please, just–just, I need to get back to work.” 

The thing about nightmares is that they often don’t stick to their own parameters. Sometimes, you end up living a nightmare more often than you dream one. Right now? As Jake looked at you like you’d just shot him through the heart, you knew you were wide awake. Living a nightmare that continued to punish only the good. 

“You’re untouchable,” Jake sighed to himself softly as he shook his head in defeat. “The untouchable woman who won’t let anyone in, you’re too proud or something aren’t you?” 

“It’s just–” All you wanted to do was explain yourself, pull Jake aside and let him in on why you couldn’t allow him to love you the way you wanted him to. But no words came out as you stood there holding the old dustpan by your side. 

With every blink, you saw flashes of Patrick. The love you lost too soon, too suddenly. He made sure to haunt your dreams to keep you safe. For a brief second of all-consuming anguish, you saw him too. Standing right behind Jake, warning you not to. “I need to get back to work, I’m sorry.” 

“Right,” Jake clenched his jaw when he felt the word vomit about to spew from his lips. He wasn’t mad, rejection just wasn’t something he was familiar with. “When you get a chance, put a Budweiser on Bradshaw’s tab.” Jake pressed his lips together into a fine line of regret, instantly kicking himself for pushing. He knew he shouldn’t have, but the chase was as addicting as it was thrilling. With a simple knock of his knuckles on the bar before, he turned on his heels. Leaving you to stand there in your own self-loathing. 

Your heart sank as you watched Jake shove his hands into the pockets of his jeans with a head that hung so low you almost wondered if his neck would be sore. Guilt, shame, it all felt the same. But you couldn’t let Jake in, you couldn’t allow him into your life more than what you’d given him over the last six months. 

You’d tangled yourself in barbed wire so you couldn’t be reached by anyone. Unknowingly bleeding when as it digs into you more and more. You would think the touch of skin on yours wouldn’t be so terrifying, but you’d been bruised before. You couldn’t allow Jake to fall into your web of lies that kept you safe from harm’s way. If hurting him was the only way to keep him safe, you’d hurt him twice over every single day.

Perhaps it would be safer to stay the untouchable woman. 

***~***~***~***~***~****

As a child, there was magic in the mundane. You often found yourself missing the mermaids among the koi in the pond, their glittering scales reminiscent of a childhood fairytale. Summer mornings you’d make bouquets out of the same flowers adults would now mow away while wrinkling their noses at the weeds. 

You often wondered to yourself when the awe of the day-to-day faded away and when you stopped believing in your ability to see mermaids in the momentous world around you. 

“Another round fellas?” You tried not to think too much about the way Jake’s eyes burned into you like a fiery sunbeam as you stood behind Rooster. “Same old same old? The usual orders of Bradshaw’s table?” The squad, affectionately known as the Daggers erupted into laughter all the while Rooster remained silent and brooding. 

“You are all bleeding my dry,” Bradley sighed as you made the rounds and collected all the empties onto your bar tray. “Seriously, I know you aren’t all working for free, cough up.” 

“You could– just apologise for being a Neanderthal and I’ll close it out?” Your statement left a bad taste in Rooster’s mouth, he wasn’t one for apologising for things he didn’t think he’d done wrong. 

“I could,” the brooding moustache-having man replied. “But it’d be an empty lie.” There was something about Bradley Bradshaw that made the hairs on the back of your neck stand to attention. He wasn’t necessarily a bad person, he was–an only child. He probably never imagined mermaids among the koi.  

“Appreciate the honesty there, Bradshaw,” you chuckled deeply as you finished you collecting all the empty glasses and beer bottles. “Guess the next rounds on you.” 

“Here here,” Coyote chimed in with a Cheshire Cat grin. “All in a hard day��s work there Rooster, you always know how to piss off the barkeep.” 

“Works out in our favour,” Bob smiled as he passed you two empty glasses. “I don’t think I’ve paid for a drink of my own in a few weeks now.” 

“No, you just keep trying to convince everyone Brewer here was your first kiss,” Phoenix smirked as she finished off her beer. 

All the air inside your lungs felt like they had been sucked right out. The chills that ran down the expanse of your spine made your blood run cold. You stood tall with your now full tray of old beer bottles and empty glasses and sent a polite smile Bob’s way. 

“You still riding that wave?” 

“You just really look like Y/n from Nurellun Public,” Bob countered with an almost pleading tone. “She was my first kiss by the sandpit and I remember she had a little yellow dot in her right eye.” 

“Brewer has a yellow dot in her right eye,” Jake decided to enter the conversation from his place in the corner of the booth. “Tell you what Floyd, you must have been one shocking kisser if you got Brewer here to change her damn name.” The table erupted into a loud boisterous laugh as the Weapons System Officer sunk a little lower into his seat. 

You felt for Bob, being the butt of the joke was never a good feeling. But when your case officer relocated you to North Island, he didn’t bank on one of its locals being your first snog. You hated gaslighting the guy, but you had no other choice. Bob Floyd had to stay in the era of Meridamis and weed bouquets. 

“Like I told you last time Bob, you’ve got the wrong girl,” It was as nonchalant as it was dismissive. “My first kiss was with Johnny Bennett out at some random guys shed.” You had gotten used to lying about your life and who you were. At the very beginning it was almost impossible, but three years on? You’d gotten pretty good at playing pretend. 

Only you wished it could be with the mermaids in their fairytales. But much like all those mermaids and all those fairytale stories……you didn’t exist. Much like Johnny Bennett.  

***~***~***~***~***~ 

Tags: 🏷️ @a-reader-and-a-writer @xoxabs88xox @hiireadstuff @buckysteveloki-me @athenabarnes @els-marvelvsp @blindedbythelightt @tayl0rhuynh @na-ta-sh-aa @kmc1989 @sunlightmurdock @mamachasesmayhem @jaxfart @lauenderhaze @sugarcoated-lame @maisie-rebloging-blog @captainmoonknight @seitmai @shanimallina87 @kajjaka @imnotcreativeenoughforthisblog @imladrisofabookdragon @buckysteveloki-me @mrsevans90 @allepaula @els-marvelvsp @djs8891 @paperbag33

[sparklefangs]

my library is saving my mental health

I was diagnosed with epilepsy in January and am no longer allowed to drive.

I live in the ass-end of nowhere - my town has about 1600 people in it according to the last census - and all the third spaces in a 45 minute drive radius, every single one, have been shut down by landlords who kept driving the rent up. (Seriously - a gaming cafe that had been there for 11 years and was always packed, a local institution, just closed a couple months ago because they couldn't afford the rent anymore.) I also can't walk anywhere at all because the roads have no shoulders, and locals in unnecessarily massive pickup trucks drive as though coming 3 inches from hitting pedestrians is their favorite sport.

Over the last 7 months I've felt my soul slowly leaking out like a nosebleed. There's so much I can't do. I can't go anywhere. I don't have friends or family to visit. Have you ever had a mental breakdown because you physically couldn't go buy a half gallon of milk? It's not great. I mean, obviously, a fair number of people experience that, but if you haven't, and suddenly that's your reality, it's pretty jarring. Even if you're an introvert, you still have the option available to you. Now imagine you don't anymore, even if you feel like you could. You just legally and by circumstance of location cannot leave the house unless someone takes you.

So, once a week, my partner drives me the half hour to our tiny little library and drops me off. It's not in walking distance of anything, so I sit there for six hours reading. Just chilling out in my favorite chair with a book. It's great.

I'm not the only person who does this. No matter what day of the week I'm there, I see the same people sitting in their favorite spots, doing the same thing I am. It's mostly older people, but also younger folks with various visible disabilities, and I assume others, like me, who probably have less visible disabilities and nowhere else to go.

This is an extremely conservative area but the staff managed to find a corner of the YA section for a tiny little pride-themed book display. I thought it was just for June, but it's mid-July and the display is still there.

I'm so grateful for this library. Even if you buy a lot of books or mainly use audible or kindle, go visit yours from time to time. Check out books, even if you don't get around to reading them. Sign up for events they might have - ours does a monthly "blind book date" thing where you tell them what you like to read, they pick out a couple books for you, and give you a few little themed extras in your box. Show that they're important so they can keep getting funding.

They need to stick around and you might not even realize how important they are until, like me, you have nowhere else to go. I've always valued libraries but now I find myself one of the people who actually really, truly needs it in a very personal and immediate way.

PS - And tell the library staff how much you appreciate what they do. They get yelled at all the time by jackasses who probably don't even use the library but are mad because they heard there are rainbows on some of the books.

[dnpbeats]

OKAY i need to speak on the interactive christmas adventure and how it's a full circle moment, but at the same time so indicative of what dan and phil have created together (retroactively saying, strap in because this got long)

so, to begin with, i can't imagine how it must have been for dan to be making that video with phil. six months prior dan was a fan among many, commenting on phil's videos and tweeting at him. and then this interactive space adventure drops on his birthday. and dan loves it so much he comments on every single path! and tweets phil about how much he loves it!! (okay not the point of this post but i also just need to sneak this in: i just know deep down part of dan felt so special that this was posted on his birthday. and the fact that phil used a song from ff7 and dan commented on it... anyway!) so, needless to say, dan was really into this interactive adventure thing.

so then we all know what happens after that, but fast forward to december. dan, who has been talking with phil for a few months now, who has known him in real life for barley over two, is not just with phil but is collaborating with him. and they're making something that, honestly, for the time was a pretty big production! it's obvious when you watch it that they've sunk so much time into it. there are parts when they talk in unison so you can just imagine them sitting there with a little script practicing it 😭 so think about what a full circle moment it is, that the first phil project that dan profusely expressed his enjoyment of was an interactive adventure, and here he is half a year later making that very same thing with phil!! and also, the fact that it was truly a joint project, even though it was going on phil's channel. in the last scene of the adventure, dan sacrifices himself.

dan: i have to sacrifice myself phil: no dan, please don't! there must be another way dan: but phil, this is not my channel, i'm not even meant to be here phil: don't say that, dan, think about what you're doing

and like, yes obviously this is scripted! but even in the script, when dan says "this isn't my channel," phil says "don't say that." because this was 100% a joint effort. a year and a half later dan stated it was the best thing he's contributed to the internet. idk i just love the fact that one of the things dan really appreciated about phil early on was his interactive adventure, and then six months later they got to make one together, and dan obviously has a very soft spot for it :,)

okay so that's how it came full circle for dan in 2009. but secondarily i want to talk about the fact that i truly think the interactive christmas adventure is the cornerstone of everything dan and phil have accomplished together. "but emma, what about pinof?!" okay yes. pinof my beloved... but also, at the end of the day, pinof was basically just dan and phil shooting the breeze. don't get me wrong, it is foundational as well! the fact that it got so popular really highlights that dan and phil's natural chemistry is a big part of them being a duo and their popularity. and i love a good video that's just dan and phil riffing off of each other.

however, dan and phil have done SO MUCH with their careers that is so much more than just their base level chemistry. SAP, the radio show, books, TWO WORLD TOURS, movies of said tours. because besides the fact that they have a dynamic that's enjoyable to watch, they also create so well together. even their solo things, we know they help each other behind the scenes. they just get each other creatively. but aside from that, all of the aforementioned things they've accomplished together really paved a way for other people in the industry!! other creators (vlog brothers iirc?) have talked about the fact that tatinof was the first Big Youtube Tour and the fact that it was so successful meant that other creators were able to do the same.

dan and phil as people aside, i don't think there will ever be another professional duo like dan and phil. like they ARE the blueprint. and i think that's because they care so much about putting out content that they're proud of, but also because they enjoy what they do. the reason why the interactive christmas adventure was so great was because they put in a lot of effort, but also bc you can tell that they were having so much fun making it. at the end of the day it was just two boys making something together because they could! and they wanted to! and i think their mentality for creating things today is still the same. so yeah, i think the interactive christmas adventure is so so important in terms of d&p as a creative duo. it's the first project in a long long list of amazing things dan and phil have created together, when no one else was doing what they were doing. and the fact that almost 15 years later they're still here, making content together, having a whole career together... oh yeah and also a whole life!! just absolutely wild, and i'm so grateful we're all here to see it

[hypostatic-oath]

OVERSEER BRAINROT

(This is like. Me rambling. This is poorly explained and my grasp on the canon lore is iffy but this is just how I imagine/will write the Overseer - aka the player - in SAGAU. This perspective will likely change as I understand more of the lore, but for now, here's some crumbs.)

Overseer whose role is, more than simply observing, to keep the canon going.

Experiencing the story, and that includes collecting characters and learning of their lore, exploring the world, building our teapot, etc is our reward for playing our role - and our role is to push the story forward. It doesn't progress without us. We're not Teyvat's creator, but we are the one making each of our worlds move (we're the mover we're the shaker we're the headline maker). If we did not take action, the twins never would've been separated - they would've stayed forever in that choosing screen, held permanently in that moment. If we had not chosen to walk forward and touch the statue, the Traveler would never have gotten the Anemo elemental powers. Would've never helped Dvalin. Signora would've never taken Venti's gnosis. Rex Lapis would never have "died". Every single other major event wouldn't happen.

The player is the being that makes the Canon Events happen - not directly, but through making sure that the story progresses. (Miguel O'Hara theme plays in the background.) And this can happen at whichever speed we decide.

Now, while the fact that we are the ones making the story go by could be used to argue that the Overseer would be the one to make the passage of time, that is not quite true. The days in Teyvat do not depend on the story progression. Months can pass before those two Fatui in Mondstadt (I love them) have any new gossip to share about current events, or they can pass through five new topics in a span of days, depending on how fast the player runs through the quests. Time is not the deciding factor in these characters' fates. It doesn't matter how long it's been since Signora died - Viktor (the Fatui guy at the Cathedral) will not be stationed at his new post unless the player finishes his comission. Teppei's condition won't worsen with time, either. If we don't continue the quest, we can stand next to him for weeks in game before he passes. Thus, I propose that the Overseer is more of a god of Fate (not to mention, the god of time position is taken). To add to this, the things we use to pull for characters are called Fates. Intertwined Fates, Acquaint Fates, both circle back to the same idea. Hangouts can be seen as a sort of exploration of this power - with the ability to choose one of five or six fates for that character (if only Character Quests had that too). It is, however, one of the few times we have control over which version of the story is told. Otherwise, we are mostly the energy that moves it along.

It's not just that it's a canon event and we cannot interfere - it's that it is literally our purpose to make sure it happens, even if we don't like it. We're here to witness and progress the story - and bad things can happen in stories, regardless of what the characters in it want. So right now I am having some Villain Overseer brainrot, not because they want to be evil on purpose, but because some character decides to pull a Miles Morales and say "I'mma do my own thing" and mess up the story's flow. For someone trying to change the course of the story, the force that pushes events forward is obviously Not Good. I can see Fontaine characters seeing the Traveler's arrival as an ill omen, a sign that the prophecy will come true. They're divided, because on one hand, the Traveler has a good reputation, someone helpful, kind, a hero. But the Overseer's attention signifies that events will inevitably unfold. So Lyney invites them to be part of a show. Furina threatens to arrest the Traveler. Navia asks them out for tea. As long as they can keep the Overseer's attention on other matters, the event they dread won't happen. (I won't talk much abt Neuvillette rn becayse spoilers)

Enter eventual Arlechinno boss fight (it hasn't happened yet, but I do hope we get one) - she's the one who tries to fight the Traveler head on, to personally put a stop to it once and for all. Perhaps the Overseer has no ill will, but that doesn't matter. Not when their presence means that the clock is ticking faster and faster every day.

Now for a more lighthearted thought, Isekai'd Overseer who doesn't really have a concept of urgency. No important event will occur without them present, so they have no qualms in arriving on the day after the scheduled date, confident that as long as it is between 18:00 - 23:00 the reservation will still be placed and people will be at their seats as if it was always meant to be that way.

So the Overseer walks into a bar, with a face too fresh for someone who hasn't slept in what the people of Teyvat percieve to have been months, just coming in from the Spiral Abyss, and asks the bartender where their friends are.

"I don't know? Master Kaeya usually shows up at this hour, but the rest of your usual group is probably tending to their affairs."

"Odd. They were supposed to be here by now. We had a big dinner planned." The person in front of him, who Charles is more and more sure definitely looks somewhat off in a way he can't quite pinpoint, seems confused. "There was a reservation and everything. In Kaeya's name, I believe."

"Well, I'm sorry, but the last reservation Master Kaeya placed here was a month ago."

"Again, weird. He said he was going to place one. Oh, well. When the others get here, just let them know I'll be on one of the big tables upstairs, alright? And you can put everything on my tab."

[gabessquishytum]

i was thinking about that reddit post about the guy who married a friend out of mutual convenience and came to reddit asking for advice on how to start actually dating his husband (twitter link because the original is deleted, https://twitter.com/redditships/status/1241613092875841536?s=20) and you know what. dreamling au? dreamling au.

like. just imagine? prince dream who's being pressured constantly to marry, every single time someone high-enough ranking visits the palace he's dragged off to be introduced to their daughters, he's so tired of it. hob's parents are the king and queen of a neighbouring kingdom, dream's parents have been trying to get a solid treaty established for years, so when they make an offer that includes a generous trade deal and the marriage of dream to their daughter? it's agreed on before dream even has a chance to argue.

dream's fully prepared to have a loveless marriage that's amicable at best, but when he meets his new "wife", well... hob's hardly what he expected. he's very clear on the point that he's not a woman, for one. he's prepared to pretend in public if he absolutely has to but he's not and won't pretend he is in private -- and he doesn't seem to quite know what to do with himself when dream tells him that he's really very fine with that? he's not sure how much he can do for hob at court, he only has so much power as a prince, but he promises he'll do what he can to let hob be comfortable in their private lives.

turns out, dream can do a lot more than that. the king and queen die only a few months after dream and hob are married, and dream promptly sets about revising a few marriage and gender laws. and when hob can finally come to court and present himself as dream's husband... he's so happy, dream's never seem him smiling so much, and dream looks at his husband who's finally able to be himself and dream realizes he is. maybe having. some feelings.

-🐈‍⬛

I’m so in love with Hob “call me a girl and I will cut your dick off” Gadling.

He’s terrified by the prospect of this marriage and has very low expectations of his future husband. Dream is a very pleasant surprise, considering what Hob was imagining! He can use his proper name, he can dress as he likes, he can be a man! Finally! It’s a life he never dreamed of having, even if it can only happen in private.

And then Dream actually changes the world for him, and Hob can’t quite believe it at first. He thinks it must be a joke when Dream asks him to help ratify certain new laws. But Dream doesn’t make jokes like that, and he wants to be sure that he uses the right words and that these laws will last forever. And of course Hob does his best to help and offer up his own opinions on how things should be changed. Dream listens to him carefully and it’s like he’s making Hob’s dreams come true all over again. All he says is that Hob is his husband. Of course he wants him to be safe and happy.

How can Hob help falling in love with Dream? This man has gone above and beyond what’s necessary to make him happy. He’s accepted Hob for who he is, and he’s made damn sure that everyone else accepts him too. Hob wants to kiss his perfect, serious little mouth every hour of the day. He’s never been in love before, and now he’s falling more in love with his husband as every day passes.

They sleep together in same bed (it’s big enough for at least six people), and although they start out on opposite sides of the massive mattress, every single morning Hob wakes up with Dream in his arms. Somewhere along the way in the night, they gravitate towards each other and end up snuggled in one little ball of repressed feelings and not-really-unrequited love.

It’s only a matter of time before Dream leans up and kisses his husband good morning. It happens accidentally, when he’s still half asleep, but it finally breaks the seal on their mutual pining. Hob smiles and pulls the covers up over both of their heads, making a cozy little nook in which he can press Dream backwards and finally kiss him properly.

(Hob was always terrified by the idea of consummating a marriage. But now Dream calls him Robert, beloved husband, it doesn’t seem quite so scary anymore.)

[phoenixyfriend]

Another Guideline for Tumblr Usage

Hi! I've seen a bunch of posts going around recently with tumblr etiquette rules, but a certain account's recent activity (receiving 20-30 Recent Meme asks per hour after asking people to stop) has led me to realize that a certain element has been missing.

Specifically, ask and tagging etiquette when it comes to famous/popular blogs.

Step 1: You see something cool. Really cool. 'Sweeping tumblr, has tens of thousands of notes' cool. You want to show it to someone. Your immediate circle is not enough. Your groupchat is not enough. You want to show it to One Of Those Blogs, the ones with follower counts in five or six figures.

Step 2: You go to their blog, to double-check their username. You open the ask box. You--

Stop. Close it. You need to do something else first.

Step 3: Go to the search bar. Do a search for a keyword relating to the thing you want to share. If nothing comes up, try doing it as a tag (replace '/search/key word' with '/tagged/key-word' in the url).

Step 4: Nothing came up? Great. Proceed to send the ask. Try to be polite. Do not act entitled to their time.

Alternate Step 4: Actually, you didn't want to send an ask. You wanted to tag them in the post. There aren't any asks about it yet, so it's fine, right?

Go to the post notes. Check the replies. Check the reblogs with the filter set to "comments only." Make sure nobody else has tagged this person yet. If they have, and it's not an old version of the post (e.g. the thing you want the famous blogger to see is a reply that was added in the last two days, and they were tagged on the original version a few months ago), go ahead and tag them.

Why is this important?

Think of it this way: imagine if you got so many text messages about the same three-word joke from strangers that you could no longer see if your friends (they're chill, you love them) or your mom (she's important) were messaging you. Your friend wrote you a sonnet! They put a lot of time into it!! And you didn't see because three hundred people you've never met were texting you a single pogchamp image. The exact same one, every time, no edits, or only edits that were the same joke as fifty other people's edits.

Imagine how annoying that would be.

Now, the next time you try to let someone know about something they are very likely to have seen already, please do them and yourselves a favor and just... check to see that you are not the fiftieth person to do so in the last day.

[troius]

Six Hearts vs. Fullbringers: Rukia vs. Tsukishima

Yeah I’m legit mad this isn’t what we got.

Tsukishima isn’t the main villain of the story, but he pretends to be for a good portion of it, and he’s got an absolutely terrifying power that drives directly at the heart of the arc, the relationships between Ichigo and his friends. Tsukishima slowly tears them apart, first by participating in the assault on Uryu, and then by brainwashing every single human in Ichigo’s life, until he’s in a murderous state and actually fighting Chad and Orihime.

And then, in the semi-main event of the arc, he fights...Byakuya. A person who Ichigo has barely spoken to, and could probably go very happily his entire life without speaking to again. The guy who has spent this whole arc winning by subverting interpersonal relationships winds up failing, ironically, because Byakuya doesn’t actually value those relationships as much as he values abstract ideals, and so blasts his chest out without hesitation. It makes sense, I guess, but it doesn’t really do anything in the context of the story.

To the extent the Byakuya-Tsukishima fight does have symbolic relevance, it’s in regards to Ichigo’s relationship with Soul Society. Soul Society (and Byakuya) were going to execute Rukia. Ichigo fought to stop that, and reminded Soul Society that principles are more important than process, that governing isn’t just a mandate to preserve one’s government, but also a responsibility to do right by others. Rukia being sacrificed at the altar of justice would have perverted the very concept itself.

Which, cool and all, but if Rukia is the central character in all that...why isn’t she the one in this fight? If we’re going to test Ichigo’s relationship with Soul Society, shouldn’t it be through his oldest and closest ally? It’s a subplot that’s present in the earlier parts of the arc, though it gets forgotten. Keigo specifically brings up Rukia not being in touch as a reason Ichigo’s being such a grouch. He remembers her when thinking on his past pride as a Soul Reaper. He hears her voice when generating his Fullbring.

And in this final battle, especially when Ginjo is revealing how Soul Society was less then trusting of Ichigo, this should all be paid off! After all, Rukia might not have known about the badge when Ukitake gave it to Ichigo...but she’s Ukitake’s lieutenant now! I’d find it hard to believe she wasn’t told at some point in the last 18 months. So this fight should thematically not just represent Ichigo’s trust and relationship with Soul Society writ large, but also his friendship with Rukia specifically.

So much work has already been done to set it up! Rukia has probably the most well-developed past out of all the characters in the story-- we’ve seen flashbacks to her childhood, her academy days, and her time with Squad 13, and she’s been in the story since the very first chapter. So unlike Byakuya, we’ll have a wide range of old scenes for Tsukishima to insert himself into, to really scare the reader with how essential he can make himself to her life. Imagine Tsukishima giving her Kaien’s speech on heart, or Ukitake’s speech on honor, or saving her from Aizen on Sokyoku Hill. We were already a little worried about Rukia’s feelings toward Ichigo given her lack of communication, and what Ginjo has revealed about Soul Society...now that Tsukishima’s the most important person in her life so far, how could she possibly win?

Well, because of the Heart, duh. Tsukishima pretty consistently shows that he doesn’t understand or practice two-way relationships-- he was dependent on (and used by) Ginjo, something he reproduces with Moe, but there isn’t a sense of mutual support for either of those relationships. It’s one-way fealty. And he does the same thing when he paints himself into the pasts of Ichigo’s friends: it’s always as the provider, the beloved mentor, the patron.

And so in rewriting Rukia’s past I don’t think he’d bother to change her relationship with Ichigo much. Sure, he’d make it so that he came to Soul Society and stopped the Sokyoku, but all that stuff that happened before? Where it was just Rukia giving her power to Ichigo, and teaching him how to use it, and guiding him through this new life he was completely ill-equipped for? Why bother?

Well, because that’s where the bond was formed. Because personal relationships aren’t a transactional, tit-for-tat exchange of goods and services. Rukia might have had the power vis-a-vis Ichigo in those early days, but by being that person for him she grew, taking on a responsibility that allowed her to feel for the first time in decades like she was a strong, independent person. And this, combined with Ichigo time after time proving himself worthy of her powers and guidance, created such a trust that no pilfered monologue can shake. We saw it when Aaroniero was cosplaying Kaien back in Soul Society-- yes, he meant something to Rukia, but Ichigo means something to her today. She trusts him implicitly, because he earned it. And this fight is where that becomes explicit.

So yeah, this fight would have a whole lot of cutting Rukia without bleeding, and a whole lot of Tsukishima-insert flashbacks, and would maybe be intercut with Ginjo expositing to Ichigo about Soul Society’s nefarious spy device. And while Ginjo is trying to convince Ichigo that Soul Society (and by extension Rukia) are evil and out to get him, Tsukishima would be trying the reverse, avoiding Rukia’s established powers before trying to convince her that, considering Ichigo’s done nothing for her in her life, she should really be fighting him instead.

Rukia admits that Ichigo hasn’t done what Tsukishima has done for her. Then she blasts him through the chest with Soren Sokatsui, without the incantation. Something she admits to Tsukishima that she’d never even attempted before. But she believes in herself. Because she believed in Ichigo. And that’s why she still believes in him.

[cleoselene]

the top 5

So I'm not really a film buff. I like a lot of movies, but I'm a tv person. TV is my love, TV is where my passion is. And I've been mulling over the question of what are my actual top 5 favorite TV shows of all time?

I can tell you the top three easily:

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine - uncontested favorite show of all time. Perfect characterization. Covers nearly every genre you can think of. Intricate, deliberate, patient storytelling. Gets a reputation for being the "dark" Star Trek but is still loads brighter and more hopeful than anything labeled "Star Trek" after 9/11. The writing is so strong, the characters are so lovingly crafted, there are over 100 incredible episodes to dig into. It doesn't overwhelm you with anything, when the story is very serialized, it gives you a break. When the story gets too intense, it takes a turn and gives you something lighter. I have SO MANY OPINIONS about how fandom kind of lets me down in its appreciation of this show but my appreciation of it is perfect.

Six Feet Under - beginning to end, uniformly wonderful quality. Claire Fisher and I went through a few too many of the same experiences as young women in the early '00s. I think if we're lucky, we find a television show that portrays experiences in a way that are true to us, and Six Feet Under speaks a certain kind of truth for me. Claire and I had the same cynical views, the same confusion in early adulthood, the same flirtations with sinister older men, the same asshole artist boyfriend who got us pregnant and then acted like when she/I had to get an abortion it was all about HIM. That complicated, painful relationship a young woman has with her mother, that's fraught with fighting and pain and a fierce kind of love. And the most perfect, beautiful ending in television history. My only complaint with SFU is that Nate Fisher is an incredibly difficult character to sit through on rewatch (and on first watch honestly) but I forgive it because through Nate we get Brenda, who is the Difficult Woman that fandom always claims they want to have to love but always hates when they get her. Brenda is amazing. I love Brenda.

Twin Peaks - a multi-decade obsession that I don't think I need to get into too deeply here because I have been fawning over it on this blog for months, but a few notes: This show takes a single tragedy and doesn't allow you to get over it, in a television landscape that encourages you to consume a new violence every week and then forget about it, Laura Palmer's death has lingers with us for over three decades because it should. It should be terrible and awful and painful. Twin Peaks also came about when crime media like Silence of the Lambs was telling us that the true evil scary bad guy was a crossdressing serial killer, when television soap operas coded crossdressing as a deviant, evil behavior, and said, "one of our explicitly coded good people is transgender." Twin Peaks told us that the killer is not some weird other, but as it is in reality, someone more familiar and mundane that we try to imagine is a terrifying monster to cope with the brutal mundane reality. And that's just the tip of a massive iceberg when it comes to what this piece of interpretive art is tackling. The wonderful thing about Twin Peaks is that you can read a million theories trying to define exactly what it's about and they can all be correct, because it's not just about consumable tv violence or trying to make monsters out of the mundane, it's about how we perceive our realities and so, so much more. The iceberg's depth is endless.

and then after those top three, I struggle to round out the top five. I have other shows I LOVE, but hesitate to put in with these elite three, for a variety of reasons. I love Star Trek: TNG and Voyager, but the uneven quality I think kicks them off the top five. Voyager has brilliance but some really dog bad episodes, TNG has some whole bad seasons.

HBO's "Rome" is an obsession that was so potent while it lasted that I am tempted, but it was a 2 season show and the quality fell off badly because the plot was majorly rushed in S2. I don't think it qualifies for top five, either.

My most recent sci-fi obsession is The Orville in that it really comes close to hitting the sweet spots the 90s Treks hit within the limitations of shorter modern television seasons, but I don't know if it's a complete work yet. I HOPE NOT. Season 3 was as beautiful and wonderful as modern television gets. It's got major top 5 potential.

Legend of the Seeker is up there with Rome in that the obsession was potent but way too brief: a 2 season affair. It's tempting to put this one in the top 5 because honestly I had almost no complaints about it. It adapted absolutely dog-awful atrocious shit source material and Raimi/Tapert gave it the same magic they infused into Xena to make it a really fun, progressive show. I want to give it a top 5 spot just because IT DESERVED BETTER AND EVERYONE ON IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL. Also the fandom was super fun and I made really good friends in it and it was just a really joyful show to watch. It made me feel happy. TV doesn't make me feel happy enough anymore. Usually it makes me feel depressed *cough all the new Star Treks, cough* but Legend of the Seeker just lifted me UP. It was syndicated and I worked graveyard shift and I would get home after working all night at 7am and watch the new episode before bed and it was just. Such a boost of happiness.

Finally, I think Farscape deserves a slot. I don't know where. I am WAY overdue for a Farscape rewatch. After the roommates and I get through DS9 (one of them has never seen it!!) we are going to Farscape next. I always love telling people that Farscape is like Star Trek if Star Trek allowed itself to be kinky. What was that one TWOP description of Farscape? "American man lost in the Australian S&M scene." Roflcopter. Also, John/Aeryn is one of the more epic ships of all time. OF ALL TIME.

[everythingunderthestarsthings]

Domestic life with the Lyoko Warriors

Note: All characters are aged up. Also, all of these imagines are happening in the same universe. Which means that Aelita's partner, Jeremie's partner, and every other Lyoko warrior and their partner, have met up. For the sake of writing for them individually, I've decided that Jeremie-Aelita and Ulrich-Yumi are not couples.

Headcanon about how mostly-general and domestic life with the Lyoko Warriors would be. I'm writing this with a gender-neutral reader in mind.

Aelia Schaeffer:

Post Lyoko and post college, where she was definitely a Computer Science major, Aelita meets you in her classes with Jeremie. The two of you hit it off pretty quickly, being interested in music and computers, and she finds your presence to be refreshing. Of course, she loves the Lyoko gang -- they're family! But, meeting someone new, and away from all that chaos just brings so many new things, new perspectives of life, and she's there for it.

For the sake of writing for Aelita, let's say that she and Jeremie broke up at the end of freshman year in college, because Jeremie's concern for her -- however heart-warming and welcome -- got overbearing and she felt as though she was just an object to be constantly fretted over. So, she called off their relationship and things were just weird between the two of them for a while after that.

It is during this while that Aelita grows closer to you, and finds herself falling head over heels for you within the next six months. But, it takes her until the middle of senior year -- after she's got things sorted out with Jeremie, and then you meeting all her other friends and them giving her approval, and then her meeting all your friends -- that she confesses to you, only to find that you've felt the same way about her all along!

The two of you move in together after college, with you working and her immediately applying for a masters degree in Artificial Intelligence.

Domestic life with Aelita:

Out of the two of you, you're the more domestic person.

Of course, Aelita is an angel, but she has no experience keeping a home.

By the way, I don't think Aelita would have told you about Lyoko -- as much as she's excited for the new life she's got with you, she wants to keep that part to herself. You know about her parents passing away and how much of a help her friends have been, but not a single bit about Lyoko.

Aelita helps with the cleaning, once you show her the ropes, but you're the one who cooks and buys groceries. Our little angel tags along, but it takes her about two extra years before she's even got the basics of cooking down.

You love listening to Aelita's remixes. They're always playing somewhere in your house, regardless of whether people are there or if it's just the two of you. You're her hype buddy -- her music is your ringtone and everything.

While Aelita does her masters, you're the sole breadwinner, and Aelita's royalties from her published music also contribute to finances.

Aelita's great at coming up with budgets. She's also a savvy when it comes to stock markets and investments. You're so in awe.

Aelita loves giving you back hugs when you're doing the dishes! If you're about her height, she would press kisses to your neck. If you're taller, she would nuzzle into your back, and if you're shorter, she would rest her chin on your head.

You eventually trust Aelita more with cooking as time goes on, and you get hearts in your eyes when you watch her prepare simple meals with an apron on.

Besides her own music, the two of you dance to Ariana Grande and Taylor Swift music as well.

With regards to cuddling, AELITA IS A HUGE CUDDLEBUG. She loves cuddling with you and would do it forever if she could.

You feel the same way.

Watching TV? Cuddle! Doing dishes? Cuddle! Standing together in an elevator? Cuddle!

Weirdly enough, Aelita might like being the big spoon more than the little spoon! She just likes hugging/holding on to you in any form.

Aelita has a lot of PTSD. You figure that out early on, and even though you don't know much about Lyoko, or anything, you're a huge comfort to her. You always know the right things to do, and even if you don't, you're willing to learn, and she falls in love with you all over again.

You have friends from school come over, and so does she (and eventually with their partners too)! Both sets of friends love the other person immediately (except Jeremie, for whom it took a while to warm up to you, considering how he used to date Aelita).

Odd is Aelita's cousin (according to the stuff they had to tell at Kadic Academy), so Odd is what you consider to be Aelita's family equivalent.

You introduced Aelita to your parents within a year of living together, and your mother pulled you over and nearly demanded you to propose to her that instant cuz your family was blown away by Aelita!

Your parents might have mailed over the ancestral family ring to you about a week later

But you two are all about just living your best cozy life.

After Aelita's masters, she probably starts work as a Reserach and Development Engineer in AI and she also contributes a lot more to your shared income.

That's when you think about the next stages of your life.

You might have brought out said ancestral family ring and she definitely said yes

Jeremie Belpois:

Same as Aelita's story. Jeremie and Aelita break up in freshman year of college. Both of them are doing computer science.

Jeremie sulks around for a while after the break up, and that's when Odd offers to set him up with someone. The first person was ridiculous, and so was the second and third, and Jeremie nearly gives up hope and resigns to a life without a life partner.

And then, one day, while he sees Aelita hanging out with her new significant other, he sulks and goes to a random cafe and orders a whiskey.

That's when he meets you.

You work part-time in that cafe to have a little extra cash in hand while you study. You're a year younger than him and you study in a different university/college, but something about you gives Jeremie the kind of butterflies that he hadn't felt -- for a while now -- even with Aelita. The more and more he gets to know you, with your sickeningly sweet smile, the more and more he falls, but he wants to see how well the two of you work as friends, first.

You definitely are into him too. Blonde, glasses, and the way he knew everything about everything was a huge turn on for you.

It's only after he graduates and gets a research fellowship in his university that he confesses and asks you out. The two of you start dating, and two months in, you need to find a new place and that's when Mr. Belpois just goes, "Why not move in with me?"

Domestic life with Jeremie:

Moving in two months into a relationship was definitely a first for both of you.

His own friends were very skeptical. Like, they knew that you've known him throughout your whole college life, but you've only just started dating, and it's weird, in Ulrich's thoughts, to move in with your partner of two months, but Jeremie found that he couldn't care less.

Jeremie, after his breakup with Aelita, has had a lot of time to think things over. His perception of certain things have changed, and he's a slightly reinvented version of himself.

Also, equally weirdly, Aelita is the first person to come to Jeremie's defense and say, "It's not weird that he's moving in with someone if he feels that it isn't weird!"

Coming back to you and Jeremie.

In my mind, Jeremie's new partner is someone who isn't from a tech background. I imagine that someone with a literature degree of sorts would also match up with him.

You want to publish your own writing one day.

And Jeremie's very supportive of that!

Coming to your dynamic, Jeremie earns more than you, owing to his affliation to tech, while you're a literature graduate who's getting short stories and news articles out. You also freelance, so on the whole, your income isn't fixed.

There have definitely been some misunderstandings between the two of you because of the money, but you work on it. Plus, Jeremie is very supportive of you and just loves you.

Jeremie's love language is always being able to help you in some way. You're searching for your scarf? He knows where it is. Your spacebar key is faulty? He can fix that for you. You want someone to offer feedback on your work? Jeremie will do it.

As for you, you're very physically affectionate. Hugs, cheek kisses, neck kisses, throwing Jeremie's glasses away while you climb on his lap for a makeout session. It takes him a while to get used to it, but he's not complaining.

Odd can't believe that Jeremie's intimate life is far more developed than his own.

He's told you about Aelita, of course, so you're happy to let him work that situation out on his own. You're sweet to Aelita, her partner, and the rest of his friends and he loves it!

The first time they hosted a get-together after moving in, he saw how sweet and affectionate you were with his friends and decided right then and there that you were the one.

You love cooking! You're an amazing cook, and that won over not only Jeremie, but also all of his friends, and their partners!

So you guys host dinner once a month for your friends.

Also, I don't think any of the Lyoko warriors' partners are ever told about Lyoko. That's just an adventure for themselves.

Jeremie's parents have met you and they love you! His dad, especially. And Patrick, too. Same goes for your parents and siblings.

Also, the two of you have an aquarium of fishes together. I feel like Jeremie's allergic to cats, and you're allergic to dogs (you only found this out after meeting Kiwi; you would have never known otherwise). So you bought an aquarium and learnt all about fish!

The two of you are very open about money, work and where you see yourselves in the future. This openness came after your first few fights about the money earning situation, and has led you to be more open with each other since.

You made it very clear that you'd only be ready to marry later on in life, after you've published your first book.

And that's exactly when he proposes.

You say yes, of course.

Your wedding happens a year after Aelita's wedding.

Odd Della Robbia:

Now, Odd!

Odd strikes us all as a player. He's not that bad boy player, but the cute, fun person everyone wants to date at some point. So, he's got his fair shares of partners throughout school life as well as college life.

You come into his life when Kiwi dies, actually (I imagine that this happened a year after Jeremie's partner met Kiwi). Your dogs, Otto and Goober had also died within the same week that Kiwi passed away, and both of you were looking at good spots to hold a funeral for your dogs.

The two of you bond over your dogs, how you both snuck your dogs into your schools, and how your dogs were very important to you, and you keep in touch even after the funerals.

He takes you as his plus-one to Aelita's wedding, and asks you out the same day. That's when you start going out. You have a standard relationship, and Odd decided after the second date that you're the one.

It takes you a while to, though, because you know about Odd's dating history, and also, in my head, Odd's partner might be a year or two older than him, so you're very level-headed and guarded.

So, when he asked you if you were cool with moving in about two years after you start dating, you were skeptical. He was okay with it, respecting your space, but he find sout about your apprehension regarding his past relationships and why you're so guarded, and he promises you that it's not like that with you, and that you're different.

Domestic life with Odd:

Odd actually moves in with you.

Your place is much bigger, and he slowly adds elements of him to that space, and the two of you make it your own.

Having grown up in a joint family, Odd is pretty good at keeping his house clean. He's good at chopping vegetables and doing the laundry when it needs to get done, and you're fairly surprised.

I imagine that Odd majored in theatre in college, and has his own stand-up shows. You, on the other hand, are probably a doctor, or lawyer, or a private business consultant of sorts. I think that would suit Odd well, but sometimes, you might have fights because of your individual career struggles.

But you love comedy, and you love Odd's brand of humor. It's one of the things you adore about him. Regardless of your schedule, you help him write bits, and always attend his shows.

Odd is so grateful.

Jeremie is so shook that Odd managed to find someone level-headed. Also, out of all of Odd's friends, you're the closest with Jeremie, which was very surprising because Ulrich and Odd are top-tier besties.

You spruce up Odd's life. Like, his old apartment was messy and cheap, but your place -- now his place as well -- is full of plants, full of life!

Odd, much like Aelita, likes to give you back hugs when you're doing the dishes.

The two of you get a dog about a year after you officially move in together, and you name him Scooter (I couldn't think of any other names).

With both of you having very different careers, you guys dedicate one weeked every month for netflix and chill, and another to date night.

I think the two of you just fall asleep cuddling during netflix night, tho. It's cute.

You've met all of Odd's sisters, and his parents, and he's met yours. His family loved you at once, but your family is skeptical, even after the two of you get married (which, I think, happens a little later down the line).

Odd might feel slightly insecure because of this, but you love him, and you assure him that though you love your parents, you won't let them give him a bad time because of his career choices. You love him for him!

Ulrich Stern

By now, dear reader, you've probably realized that I made specific scenarios for each Lyoko warrior. I hope you're liking this so far.

We all know Ulrich and Yumi's dynamic. But, for the sake of writing for Ulrich and Yumi seperately, let's say that Ulrich and Yumi decided to stay friends. Their relationship dissolving seemed like an inevitable thing for them, contrast to how things between Jeremie and Aelita went slightly awry when they broke up.

I think Ulrich just took some time to figure out what sort of person he was during his years after Kadic.

His father then sets him up in an arranged marriage.

Naturally, he's pissed, but he's a mature man. He doesn't like the idea of an arranged marriage. But he goes to meet the person because his father and your father arranged a meeting, and Ulrich's mother convinced him to at least meet you before rejecting you, if he was really so averse to being set up.

He goes to meet you. And he is absolutely floored.

You are the most gorgeous person he has ever met, and you have a very corny sense of humor in a way that's adorable! The two of you have so much fun and he saves your number, hoping to meet in the future.

You're actually the one who proposes moving in together before marriage, and he's fine with it. One part of him is scared, because he could see that things were moving too fast, but in comparison with his relationship with Yumi, he thought things were considerably better with you.

Domestic life with Ulrich:

For you and Ulrich, there's a timeline of events. The two of you move together two months before you were set to get married (which is, roughly speaking, after three years of dating/engagement).

You're very open to communicating, and your love language is basically every form of affection. For Ulrich, this is different and new, because his parents have never really openly communicated like this, but he's learning and he loves it.

You help him become more open!

Much like Odd's partner, you also love keeping plants and taking care of plants. The two of you (you and Odd's partner) talk about plants for hours when you first meet while Ulrich and Odd are just staring like 'O.O'.

I imagine that you would be a nurse/paramedic, while Ulrich's an electrical engineer (flying by the seat of my pants here, bear with me, but you can imagine yourself to be in any occupation you want. this is just what makes sense in my head). So your working hours are very demanding, and you function on coffee.

You always fall asleep when you and Ulrich are cuddling. He loves it! He carries you to bed if it's late, or if it's an afternoon, he'd take pictures of your face with doodles.

Both of you cannot cook to save your lives, so for about six months after you moved in (and four months after marriage), you survive on takeout or Yumi's cooking.

But then you learn to cook together and its still a work in progress.

Speaking of, Ulrich thought that things might be awkward between you and Yumi and was downright nervous about introducing the two of you, but then, after ten minutes of knowing you, Yumi is the embodiment of "if you break their heart, i'll kick your dick, ulrich."

Yes, you're basically corny sunshine.

Ulrich, I imagine, is the first person to end up as a Dad in the group.

Also, his relationship with his parents has improved after your marriage! You encourage him to be more straightforward and honest with them about his struggles during school and you're all a big happy family!

Ulrich teaches you penchaksilat.

You teach him how to take care of plants. Y'all have a garden.

The two of you are very cute.

William Dunbar

Now, remember where I said that all of the Lyoko warriors never told their future partners about Lyoko? William's partner is kind of an exception to this rule.

The truth is, you were also a student at Kadic Academy. You were in William's class, too.

Remember how sometimes people don't forget X.A.N.A. attacks even after a Return to the Past? That's how William actually got even more suspicious about Lyoko, remember?And Laura too! You, my dear, are also one of those people who don't necessarily forget X.A.N.A. events after a Return to the Past.

You just thought it was a case of deja vu.

William in my head will always be a secret agent. Or someone who likes extreme stuff. Let's just say he's a police officer/FBI/top secret agent and he was actually assigned to a case involving you receiving death threats. You're a successful author, by the way. Your stories may or may not revolve around your deja vu.

William read your books while he was on your case. He also got to know you and realized that while you were basically perfection with legs, you also went to Kadic Academy and had been his classmate for a long time, and it was him who never really noticed you.

He also realized about your deja vu problem and knew that you, like him, were kind of immune to Return to the Past.

After the case was closed, he asked you out on a date, though. You always did have a crush on him from school, so you thought, why not?

And the rest is history.

Domestic life with William:

So, you two don't really in together until marriage.

William's away for work and you keep a private life as an author, so most of your relationship is long-distance.

But when you stay with him, and he stays with you, it's basically flufftown.

William enjoys cuddles. He also enjoys reading your novels and your drafts and even gives suggestions (based on X.A.N.A. fights, shhhh).

You think he's very creative. He doesn't tell you about X.A.N.A. though. He'd thought of it several times, but he never tells you.

He sometimes does your chores for you, and you appreciate it, because you don't like doing chores.

William does those chores shirtless and often encourages you to join. You're only too enthusiastic.

You never really get a lot of cleaning done.

The two of you love planning two-day and/or week-long getaways to different places.

You often take trips with William's parents too. They adore you.

Because of your unpredictable work schedules, you two don't go to many of the Lyoko warrior gatherings. Sometimes, you do. Sometimes, he does, and the event of the two of you checking in on the gang together is always a blue-moon day.

All of them love your books.

Jeremie is a little wary of the things you seem to recall from X.A.N.A. days, so he's very cordial with you. His partner loves your books and has merchandise signed by you.

William proposes with a very expensive ring. The two of you have a very lavish wedding and that's when you move in together.

William's a very easy person to live with. The two of you are very touchy-feely and emotionally compatible, so there's no big problems between you two.

Yumi Ishiyama

You and Yumi met through a dating app.

She was looking for casual relationships then, but very quickly found herself falling head over heels for you.

Yumi's relationship is the one that moves very fast. She meets you, you get together, and you're moving in together after three months.

She has never felt this with anyone else. You're a wild soul, always craving adventure, craving fun, and you have such positive energy around you that just pulls her in. With you, she feels understood. She craves your energy, your enthusiasm, and your curiosity.

Domestic life with Yumi:

Yumi was brought up in a traditional household and I like to think that you're the opposite of that. You might be non-traditional, but you respect her beliefs, and love to hear about her childhood and culture.

You're a very extroverted person. You love trying new things -- food, clothes, bars, talents -- and you believe that life is for exploring.

Both you and Yumi are workaholics. You believe that, in order to have the lifestyle you want to, you must also work hard. Yumi is of the same belief, and the two of you appreciate each others' work ethic. You and Yumi keep your finances seperate, but also do talk about your money.

Yumi is a mean cook. You worship her cooking and always compliment her on things she makes.

Yumi's so glad she sat through her mom's cooking anecdotes.

You and Yumi have very similar music tastes, and bond over that the most!

Yumi loves that you have a strong set of morals, and a defined way of living, but also that you're open to other perspectives.

Her parents are very skeptical of you because you're so non-traditional, but once they see how honest and hardworking you are, they eventually warm up to you.

You destroy that when they find out that you're not willing to get married.

In reality, you've had this conversation with Yumi before. You're not exactly open to marriage, because of your childhood and the trauma you faced, being a child of divorce. You're not very close to your family, either.

Yumi figured that out even before you moved in together, though, but she was cool with it. Still is cool with it.

But as time goes on, you're open to marriage. With Yumi.

You figure out that if Yumi was accepting of your wishes, you could atleast be open to trying to work through whatever issues you have to acknowledge hers.

But, overall, you have a very respectful, healthy relationship.

[lordisitmine]

TTNBD BLOG: PART ONE

I'm doing something different with this story. I always have much to say in the notes of my fanfiction and I'm usually bursting to talk about behind the scenes/commentary stuff, so I've decided to do blog posts to correspond with the updates of this story. I don't know if I'll do one for every single chapter, some of them may be grouped, but I hope people will find them interesting just the same! This post is to cover the first update, that being the prologue and the first chapter. Obviously, spoilers for those if you haven't read them yet.

INTRODUCTION

My writing process for a fic usually starts with the nagging vision of a single scene. It might be an ending, a beginning or a middle, but if it burns in my mind long enough that I have to write it down, that usually means that it will continue to stick around until I've done something about it.

Such was the case with To the End of Everything. In the late summer of 2014 (August I believe), I was on the bus, going to work, day dreaming (I can't read or watch videos in a moving vehicle, I'm very prone to motion sickness). I had recently been re-reading the first few arcs of the Kuroshitsuji manga and had finally gotten around to season two of the anime. Seeing Ciel as a demon gave me about six hundred thousand emotions, and so it was on my mind at the time.

Suddenly, a scene started to play out in my brain, and it was genuinely like watching a movie. I could see it all clear as day. It was Sebastian and Ciel, both demons, in twenty-first century London, standing at the grave of Ciel himself, on Ciel's one-hundredth-and-something birthday. Sebastian was holding a giant bouquet of roses and Ciel was rolling his eyes and pretending not to be totally charmed by the gesture.

This, of course, is the epilogue of TTEOE. That one scene dug its claws into me so completely that I spent the next four years writing an entire novel to explain how it was that the two of them ended up in that situation in the first place.

Fast-forward to the fall of 2018. It's almost Halloween, and I'm finally, finally, putting the finishing touches on the final chapter of TTEOE. Ciel and Sebastian are standing in the ruins of Phantomhive manor, which has been destroyed (again). The man who killed Ciel's parents has been defeated. The great evil has been vanquished. The contract between Ciel and Sebastian has come to fruition, but instead of Sebastian consuming Ciel's soul, he has transformed it. Ciel has been transformed into a demon, and he and Sebastian are even more irrevocably bonded than they already were (more on that later).

There were, however, still a few loose ends. No ending is ever truly clean, not in real life. And sure, this was fiction, but I like to leave room for my readers to imagine what might happen next for themselves, and also give myself a little bit of breathing room as an author, in case I ever do decide to write a sequel. But when I wrote the lines about Sir Arthur's followers still being out there, I didn't have any concrete plans to do anything about it.

Until about ten months later.

August, 2019. What is it with me and August? Well, whatever it was, it got me again. The same cemetery, the same grave. Only this time, it wasn't the twenty-first century. Ciel's death was still fairly recent in the grand scheme of things. And instead of Ciel standing in front of his own tombstone on his own birthday, it was Lizzy, bundled up in the cold, carrying out her grieving ritual, even still, visiting Ciel in order to wish him a happy birthday and to tell him she hoped he was in a better place.

And then an immediate hard cut to Ciel and Sebastian in Paris having wild sex. Here, let me quote my own outline document, which is the first thing I write for any fic, the place where I messily scribble down everything I want to happen in order to then break it down into scenes and fully write it later. I wrote this back in 2019.

"Lizzy visits Ciel’s grave. She tells him about her latest life update, how med school is going, how her friend Sybil has invited her to go to Paris for the holiday, and how excited she is that her parents said yes, on the condition that she take the servants with her to keep her safe. They've become super extra protective ever since the business of Ciel’s death and all that. Lizzy seems to be doing better, as the last time she visited Ciel’s grave was months ago, and we are led to believe she used to come here all the time. She ends the visit by telling Ciel that she might not be back for some time, and that she truly hopes he’s in a better place.

Cut to Ciel, who is indeed in a much better place- namely Paris, in some ridiculously lavish bed in a ridiculously lavish apartment, getting his ass eaten and his back blown out. It’s his birthday after all, and Sebastian won’t let him forget it, even if Ciel thinks birthdays are a foolish thing for demons to celebrate. It’s also their anniversary though, of the day they made the Bond, and Ciel doesn’t mind celebrating that one so much."

So, yes. I've been sitting on this sequel for some time.

The problem this time, unlike with TTEOE, was that I had no idea what to do with these two scenes. They were obviously the beginning of something, but the beginning of what, I had no idea. With TTEOE, I had elements from canon to draw upon, and an obvious goal- tell the story of how Ciel got his revenge and became a demon.

But here, any conclusion I might have was more vague. The cult was still out there, so maybe something happens that brings Ciel and Sebastian back to London? But to what end? Ciel is supposed to be dead, so it's not like he can just re-enter his old life.

I knew for sure I wanted the story to focus on Lizzy as well, to give her a narrative arc of her own, and maybe a romance (a sapphic one, obviously, because that's how we do things in my house). Would she know Ciel was still alive? Would she be a victim? And who would be the villain? Who had taken over in Sir Arthur's stead, and what was their even worse, even bigger plan that the gang would have to foil?

Obviously, I now have answers to all of these questions. But of course, those answers are for me to know, and for you to find out.

So, over the course of the last few years, I've been coming back to this story, adding random pieces in by bursts of inspiration, building a Frankenstein's monster of sorts. Trying to create life. And then a year ago in December of 2022, I decided I was ready to flip the switch, summon the lightning, and actually sit down and write this son of a bitch.

I really did intend to have it done a lot sooner than this. I was, in retrospect, a bit premature in announcing my intentions. However, one of an author's biggest motivations is their audience, so I think it was good that I knew people were waiting for me to do it, even if it did cause me to stress myself out more than a few times. But that;s completely on me, not on you, the reader.

I won't get too much into my personal life, but a number of things happened this that contributed to creative drought and periods of business that prevented me from writing. But I had encouragement from you guys, and I'll always be grateful for that, because it got us all here!

PROLOGUE: COUP DE FOUDRE

TTEOE had an epilogue; TTNBD has a prologue. There are several through-lines in this story (and oh boy has that been a BITCH to plot out, I hope it will be worth it) and a couple of those through-lines start years and years before the rest of the story, so I sectioned them off like this. Also, having a prologue makes me feel a little fancy.

Original characters are a touchy subject in fanficiton for some people. I personally don't read a lot of fic with OCs, which is wild because I'm currently writing one. But whenn they're executed well, some of the best fics I've read have had OCs play a major role. Of course, self-insert OCs are their own sub-genre, but that's not what is happening here. There were holes in the story I wanted to tell that needed characters to fill them, and none of the existing characters could reasonably be stretched to fill those holes. So original characters it was!

There are three original characters in this story; Sybil, who plays the most major role, who you met as a baby in this chapter and who you'll see as an adult in the next one. Then there's her father Simeon, who you've met as well, and another character who I won't mention by name yet because they're going to be introduced in next week's instalment! Both Simeon and this other person play lesser parts in the story, but they're important. I will be doing drawings of them this week, so you'll get to see what I picture them like alongside their descriptions.

EDIT: December 19/2023. I realised a couple more things I forgot to mention when I was chatting with my translaor van_Dort, for whose work I could not be more grateful! Simeon's name comes from the Bible, specifically the Simeon spoken about in the New Testament book of Luke, in Chapter 2, during the story of the birth of Jesus.

In Luke CH.2, Simeon was an old man living in Jerusalem at the time of Jesus's birth; he had been told by the Holy Spirit that he would not die until he saw the Messiah. When Jesus was brought as a baby to the Temple in Jerusalem to be blessed, Simeon got to hold him, thus fulfilling his life's purpose.

The parallels between this Simeon and mine aren't meant to be super direct, but in TTNBD, Simeon's purpose was to father Sybil, and in holding her when she's born, he sees that purpose fulfilled. Also, as Van_Dort said, having a demon with a biblical name is just pretty cheeky and fun :>

Alois and Claude are here too! Season two of the anime is so juicy, with so many good elements to it, I just couldn't resist bringing these characters out to play. I can't wait to get into Alois's absolutely busted head and his wicked toxic dynamic with Claude. I feel like their relationship is a great foil for Ciel and Sebastian's, especially in this fic with the tone I'm going to take. I'm excited for you to see my representation of some of the events of the anime's second season.

CHAPTER ONE: A FAR, FAR BETTER REST

Ten or more years ago, when I was very, very involved in this fandom, much more than I am now (I'm like, here lurking but I wouldn't call myself active) I came across a piece of fanart of an older Ciel and Sebastian, and Ciel had this long hair, and it was so beautiful, and it changed my brain chemistry forever. I've never forgotten it, but I've also never been able to find it again, much to my chagrin. Maybe I'll try to recreate it now that I have the will and the skill to do so.

NEVERMIND! I just took a break from writing this to go search for it one more time and I actually found it! This is a repost on DeviantArt, The notes on the post say it was taken from 4chan but I can't seem to find the original source which sucks but I found it! I've been thinking about this picture for years!

So yes, this specific picture is 99% of the reason why Ciel has long hair in TTNBD. If anyone by some miracle knows the original source, please do share. That and growing out one's hair is symbolic of starting over or time passing or whatever thing you learned in your high school language studies/literature class. Also I think it looks pretty. This is exactly how I imagine him, I've been trying to capture this hairstyle in my drawings, I need to tweak his bangs a little I think.

Also, kudos to those of you who noticed that Ciel's fake name- Gespenst- is German for phantom! I couldn't resist the fun little reference, both to the name Phantomhive and to the fact that Ciel, for all intents and purposes, is a dead man. Also it sounds cool! Bonus!

ANYHOW, onto other stuff. Namely, let's talk about the telepathy thing.

My guilty pleasure is those middling to badly written romance fantasy novels where a nineteen or twenty year old girl gets taken away into a fae realm and falls in love with some hot strapped fae prince or whatever and then finds out that he's her Mate *gasp* and they're *bonded*. If you're reading this and thinking about A Court of Thorns and Roses, then you're thinking of the exact series I was obsessed with when I was writing the end of TTEOE.

In ACOTAR, Feyre and Rhysand have a mating bond that includes a telepathic link. I already knew I wanted the ritual that turned Ciel into a demon to form a tangible bond of some kind between him and Sebastian, and I was reading those books at the time and it just struck me upside the head. Mating bond! Duh! It plays perfectly with the possessiveness that's already inherent in their relationship and the fact that they're supernatural beings with supernatural abilities- and I also happen think it's pretty ~hot~ oop.

To be fair, it's not just ACOTAR's fault: I've been big into Star Trek since I was a teenager and if you know what T'hy'la means and the absolutely legendary fandom mythology that surrounds it, you know where all of my obsession with mates and bonds and stuff really comes from.

I hope I've done a good job of laying out sort of how it works between Ciel and Sebastian, but just to be clear- I don't see it as being like, the ability to read/hear every single one of each other's thoughts. it's more like a link that they can use to sort of "speak" directly to each other, or if one of them is thinking about something very intensely, they can pick up on it.

To me, the vibe of these two has always been "power couple in a crowded room at a party, having a silent conversation with their eyes about how they're better and prettier than everyone else here" and I guess I wanted to make that a reality.

Also it's a great trick to be able to use during sex scenes.

Which brings me to my next point: as you will see, there are a lot more sex scenes in this fic than there were in TTEOE! And they're a lot more... how do I put this... graphic? That's Partially because Ciel and Sebastian's relationship is established, and they're demons, so they're just horny most of the time- and partially because it's been so many years since I wrote TTEOE! I'm just more comfortable with this stuff now and I know my way around it better from a writing perspective.

I wasn't even twenty years old yet in 2014 and now I'm staring down the barrel at thirty, so I've just grown up a lot and developed more as a person, as well as a writer. I feel like I've gotten better at writing in a lot of ways and one of those is definitely my ability to write porn. Not to brag or anything. I know it's a weird skill to be proud of, but in fandom it's a skill that's kind of worth its weight in gold.

Speaking of writing improvement, the honest-to-God biggest challenge for me this time around has been matching the cadence and tone of the writing in TTEOE. Having taken such a long break, and my writing voice having shifted like it has, I have to be deliberate about keeping it all coherent. I hope I'm doing an okay job.

Last but not least, Abberline's back! It's everyone's (my) favourite oblivious detective! I love outsider POVs and so I had a hoot and a half writing him in TTEOE, so of course he's back to investigate crimes and always be about one or two steps behind until the truth turns around and backhands him in the face! What will he do, where will he go, who will he see? Who knows! It's always an adventure!

Like Lizzy, Abberline has had his own response to what happened to Ciel. He's changed in his own ways and his place in life has changed as well. You'll be seeing more of him soon, along with everyone else.

Okay! I think that's all for now! Thanks for reading this... very long post! Feel free to ask questions, I'll be camping out near my inbox, and I'll see you again next week!

-lord_is_it_mine

[hullomoon]

hullomoon's 2023 works: part six

it’s the end of the year, which means it’s time for a work round-up! i had a pretty busy year so i didn't post as much, but i also know i did more longer works. so it probably balances out in the end. if you haven’t yet, check out my 2019 roundup, 2020 roundup, 2021 roundup, and 2022 roundup! all works are ordered in chronological posting order.

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six

[podfic] last night, i dreamt i still knew you | Stranger Things | Tommy & Steve, Steve/Eddie | 0:23:33

He imagines a happy Steve, a jealous Steve, a down on his luck Steve; but every single one misses him. Every Steve has the same empty and wanting space in his heart that Tommy used to fill. Armed with a million maybes and what if’s Tommy still had no intention of doing a thing. He’d spend his time in Hawkins, with his family, and when the summer came to an end he’d tell his mom it was just such a shame that his old friends were so busy. But Hawkins is a small town, has always been a small town. And even with hours of late night imaginings that all hinged on small town coincidence, he wasn’t prepared for Steve Harrington outside The Hawk with a gaggle of high schoolers and Eddie the Freak.

[podfic] (take these) chains | Stranger Things | Explicit | Steve/Eddie | 09:10

Steve is Eddie's greatest work of art.

[podfic] when i don't touch you it's a mistake in any life, in each place and forever. | Stranger Things | multivoice | Steve/Eddie | 05:21:00

If Eddie didn’t know any better, he would think that he’d slipped into an alternate dimension. A dimension where he was happy and not dead. A dimension where Steve Harrington sleeps in his bed—or maybe where he sleeps in Steve Harrington’s bed. OR: Eddie dies. But then he wakes up next to a sleeping Steve Harrington.

[podfic] A Promise of Sunshine | Stranger Things | Mature | Steve/Eddie | 02:01:56

Eddie had always expected that he would find his soulmate through the snap of a broken guitar string, or the needle burn of his tattoos. Instead, Billy Hargrove breaks a plate over Steve’s Harrington’s head and Eddie finds himself tied to a boy he knows only through the lens of the high school hierarchies. Almost a year later, Eddie has spent time learning everything he can about Steve - the way he thinks, the things that send him into a panic he can't - or won't - explain, the look in his eyes before he says something heinously bitchy and devastatingly funny. He and Uncle Wayne have found themselves permanent seats at Victoria Harrington’s Sunday Dinners, and Eddie can almost ignore the rabbit pace of his heart when Steve smiles at him. Except that Steve has gone missing, had bailed on their plans for the Fourth of July weekend without a word and this would be fine, really, except - Eddie’s getting bruises that aren’t his own and Victoria hasn’t seen her son in days. While Eddie's injuries get steadily worse, he and Victoria scramble across town to try and find Steve and save him from whatever nightmare situation he landed in before it’s too late. Project 40 of the Steddie BB 2023

[podfic] Grey Matter | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie, Steve & Robin | 03:17:43

In the fall of 1983, Nancy Wheeler rejects Steve Harrington, thus sparing him from the terrifying world of the Upside Down. Until Summer of 1985, that is, when what was supposed to be mind-numbingly boring two months of slinging ice cream promptly turns into a task of decoding a secret Russian message with his two closest friends and a strange kid that never shuts up. Or, an alternative universe in which Steve Harrington gets to live his normal life for an additional year and a half, grow as a person, make new friends and fall in love along the way.

you've got a smile that could light up this whole town | Stranger Things | Explicit | Robin/Chrissy, Steve & Robin | 10k

It's the Hawkins Tigers 1985 football season and Robin can't stop staring at Chrissy Cunningham

[podfic] Realizations: Grief & Fortuitous Outcomes | The Adventure Zone | Duck/Minerva | 12:25

The week after the last battle, there’s a moment that all of it slips his mind entirely. or Introspection, Sadness, Comfort, & Realizing You Love A Big Beautiful Alien Woman