#but at the same time it doesn’t feel like a final series honestly- i’m so torn hhh

[forestofmemories]

small rant but. the more info we get about the new pokeani series the more upset i get,,,,, like. the chara designs look rly cool and so far it seems interesting enough that i might actually check it out at some point but all of that is overshadowed by the fact that satoshi and pikachu will no longer be the main charas of the anime and i. hate that so much bc honestly i don’t feel jn did them proper justice? “but satoshi became a world champion!” yeah but the way the whole series was executed doesn’t make it feel satisfying enough, to me at least. i’m rly rly proud of him and how far he’s come and all that he’s achieved and i’ll boast about him anytime but looking at jn as a whole….. yeah

[candycandy00]

someone said filthy and raunchy reqs for ume???? say no more !! what abt both of you eating at pothros and this random guy gives you his number, now ume isn’t used to this as everyone knows you’re bofurin’s leader gf, and at first he’s confused so he doesn’t react jealous, so that somehow makes you feel uneasy, like, why isn’t he getting jealous??

anddd when you both get home, he pushes you against the wall and absolutely PROVES how jealous he is and how disrespected he feels that you think he didn’t care enough 👀 so he shows you he does care ANSBDNFNS i’m such a sucker for him.

thank you so much in advance, if you do this req!!! 🤍✨ if not, thanks either way jsjs!

Lose Your Composure - An Umemiya x Reader Fanfic

Smut. 18+. Rough sex. Fem Reader. Ume is in his 20’s here! Divider by @benkeibear. Any and all feedback is adored!

You blink up at the man holding out a napkin to you, a series of digits scrawled on the paper. Making no move to take it, you glance over at your boyfriend for his reaction. 

Umemiya is looking at the man with the same confused expression you’re wearing. 

You laugh nervously. “Uh, I’m flattered, but I have a boyfriend,” you say, gesturing toward the very tall and recognizable man sitting beside you at the table. 

Honestly, what is this guy thinking? He’s been staring at you from the counter ever since he walked in. Does he not know who Umemiya is? And even if he somehow doesn’t, how brazen do you have to be to give your number to a woman while she’s sitting with another man?

He’s still holding it out to you. “Take it anyway,” he says with a smarmy grin. “You might get tired of this guy sooner than you think.”

You narrow your eyes. You were trying to be polite at first, but this guy is pushing it! “I’m not interested,” you say with a firm tone. 

The stranger shrugs and finally pulls his hand back, shoving the crumpled napkin into his pocket and walking out of Pothos. 

You sigh and look over at Ume, curious to see his reaction, but he’s already gone back to eating his food, a pleasant smile on his face. 

Damn. You were sort of hoping for something else. 

You’ve never seen Ume jealous before. Maybe it’s because he’s used to seeing you surrounded by other guys, and those guys are his friends who would never dream of being inappropriate with you. To be honest, you’d like to see him get a little possessive, just once. You love that he trusts you and respects you, and you love how sweet he is, but is it wrong to want to see your boyfriend a little jealous? A little riled up? 

Just the thought has you getting heated. You’ve never seen Ume in a fight before, though you know he’s strong. He’s made sure to never expose you to violence, and you appreciate his efforts. But it also means you’ve never seen him being serious or angry. You’ve been together for months now, and you’ve only managed to catch brief glimpses of his firm, dominant side. It peeks out every so often in the bedroom, so quick you almost miss it, and always followed by an apologetic look from him. 

Once it was his hand on your head while you were sucking him off, pressing your head down just before cumming in your mouth. Another time it was him gripping your wrists above your head while you laid on your back, his body above yours. He’d seemed to feel guilty about those instances, but you found them extremely hot. 

Now, you were expecting him to have some sort of reaction to a random guy hitting on you right in front of him, but he didn’t. He didn’t even seem to care.  

You finish your meal in silence, occasionally nodding along as your boyfriend talks about his garden or the crazy antics his friends got into today. You’re not mad, but you are a bit disappointed, and you’re afraid that will be obvious if you speak too much. 

After leaving Pothos, Ume walks you back to your apartment. He practically lives here too, but he hasn’t mentioned staying over tonight. Usually he just does as he pleases, so it’s not like he needs an invitation. Still, he seems a little awkward as the two of you ride the elevator up to your floor. Has he noticed the shift in your mood? 

“Is everything alright?” he asks as you step out of the elevator. 

“It’s fine,” you say as you make your way down the hall, digging your key out of your bag. The response came out a bit sharper than you’d intended. 

“Are you upset?” 

The question makes you feel a surge of guilt. Ume has done nothing wrong. But you still feel the way you feel. You should at least explain that. 

You stop in front of your door, unlocking and opening it. You can’t bring yourself to look at him as you say, “I’m not upset. I just expected you to have a bigger reaction to that guy trying to give me his number. It almost feels like you don’t care if other guys hit on me.”

Walking inside and dropping your bag and keys on a nearby table, you still don’t look at him. You hear Ume follow you in and shut the door behind him. When you flick on the light and finally turn to face him, your blood turns to ice. 

Your sweet, adoring boyfriend who is always smiling at you, who always looks at you with the kindest expressions, now looks like an entirely different person. His smile is nowhere to be found, his lips a hard line. There’s a fiery intensity to his eyes that almost scares you, a look in them that you’re certain has made many men quiver in fear. Before you is not your doting lover. It’s the Bofurin boss that has crushed every enemy who dared to challenge him. 

It’s the hottest thing you’ve ever seen in your life. 

“Ume?”

He doesn’t say anything, only moves toward you at a speed you didn’t think possible and presses your back against the wall. Not hard, but firm. 

You look up as he towers over you, his big hands on the wall beside your head. Looking down at you, a few strands of hair slide down around his eyes, and you feel like a helpless little bug. 

“H-Hajime?” You don’t call him by that name often, so used to calling him Ume even before you started dating. His eyes seem to glimmer when he hears it. 

“Do you have any idea how hard I’ve been holding back?” he asks, his voice uncharacteristically low. “How much I wanted to break that asshole’s neck for even looking at you? How I wanted to take you right there on the table so the whole town knows I’m the only one who can touch you?”

Your heart is racing, your breaths coming quicker as you stare up at him. You’re already getting wet. 

“And you think I don’t care?” His voice goes even deeper as he leans in, his beautiful face tantalizingly close to yours. “I’ll show you how much I care.”

He kisses you, not in the usual sweet and gentle way, but with his mouth claiming yours, stealing your breath, his tongue pushing in to taste you. 

Your arms automatically move to encircle his neck as you kiss him back, suddenly feeling like all these clothes you’re both wearing are in the way. He fixes that quickly, shrugging off his coat and letting it fall to the ground, then tearing your clothes off so aggressively, he rips your pretty new underwear. 

This is a side you’ve never seen of him. And when he pulls his white T-shirt over his head and looks at you with that burning expression, his hair slightly disheveled, you nearly buckle right there. 

You stand on your tiptoes, leaning up to kiss him again, but he suddenly grabs your shoulders and turns you around to face away from him. You hear him unbuckle his belt, then he’s pressing your upper half against the wall, slightly bending you over, and forcefully spreading your legs. 

His fingers slide down, dipping between your slick folds, feeling how absolutely drenched you are. When he finds your clit, circling and rubbing it with one finger, you moan against the wall. 

He leans over you, his bare, toned chest pressing into your naked back, and says, “That fucker at Pothos put me in a bad mood. You’re gonna have to fix that.”

A shiver runs down your spine. Ume rarely ever uses coarse language, at least in front of you. To hear him saying such things right in your ear as he plays with your throbbing clit is driving you mad. 

“Now spread wider and take my cock,” he says, nearly pushing you over the edge.  

You scoot your feet a little wider apart, as much as you can with your legs trembling, and then his hands are on your hips, grip firm, holding you in place. You gasp as you feel his entire length shove inside you, filling you up to the brim, stretching you to your limit. 

Before you can even adjust to his massive cock, his hands lift your lower half up, so that your legs are dangling above the floor, your upper half wedged against the wall. And just like that, he takes you. His thrusts are deep, powerful, making your helpless body jerk with each one. 

You whimper out his name as your hands press into the wall, trying to take pressure off your face. You were already on the edge of climax before he even started fucking you, now you’re about to explode with pleasure as your kind boyfriend rails you. 

Is this even Ume? The difference in his very aura makes you shudder with delight. How did he figure out this is what you’ve been craving? 

He slams in deep, hitting a sensitive spot that makes you crumble. Your orgasm ripples through you, bringing tears to your eyes as you moan incoherently. Your hands lose all strength and slip from the wall. You think you’re going to fall, but then Ume’s strong arms wrap around your torso, holding you up. The embrace is gentle, even as he continues pounding you with his cock, and you can feel his overwhelming love radiating through his arms, through his heartbeat against your back. 

Then, he stiffens inside you, pushing in so deep it feels like he’s inside your womb before shooting his thick, hot cum into your core. He stays buried that way, still holding you close, until he’s completely empty. Then he gently pulls out and sits you back on your feet. 

Your legs feel like they’re made of spaghetti as you struggle to turn around and look at him. He’s panting, his face red, his hair wet with sweat. And he’s wearing that cute apologetic expression. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he asks, his voice sounding almost sheepish. 

You feel like laughing, but you don’t have the energy. Instead you collapse against his chest. “Ume, you just made me cum harder than I ever have in my life.”

His hands are rubbing your back. “So… you liked that? Me being more forceful?” 

You look up at him. “Yes, but not all the time. I don’t think I could handle that every night!”

He bends down slightly and scoops you up in his arms. “I just wanted to show you how I felt. When that guy offered you his number, I saw red. But I try to keep my composure in front of you. I don’t wanna scare you away.”

You lean up to kiss his cheek. “Every now and then it’s exciting to see you lose your composure,” you say as he carries you toward the bathroom. 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he says with his sweet smile. 

[seongclb]

— enhypen reaction to waking up from a nightmare where they lost you !

bf!enha x gn!reader, angst kind of and fluff, established relationship au & warnings of allusions to panic attacks in hoons

req. by anon

N ! hi guys shameless self promo but please show my series some love :(

♫ you’re the only good thing in my life by cigarettes after sex

𖠗 이희승 | lee heeseung.

when he suddenly jumps in his sleep, calling for your name in cries

you jolt awake and immediately pull him into your arms

rather than forcing him awake, you stroke the sweat beads forming on his forehead away, hushing him which brings him to feel a lot safer and calmer

when he wakes up, he rests in your arms for a bit while his fear dissipates

“don’t ever leave me,” your boyfriend suddenly says

“hee, why would i ever leave you? did you dream that i would?” you ask, softly, rubbing his arms to comfort him

he nods and you frown, kissing his forehead which causes his eyes to flutter close

he doesn’t speak much for the rest of the night, just laying in your presence

that is, after all, the only place he’ll truly ever feel comfort.

𖠗 박종성 | park jongseong.

he sleeps his best when he’s with you

like he sleeps like a baby when he holds you to sleep

which is why after an argument, and you both are sleeping in the same bed but forced to not hug one another

he gets this idea that he’ll lose you forever, and it even invades his dreams

jay wakes up so suddenly, a loud half cry leaving his lips which causes you to wake up

“are you okay?” your hands go immediately to stroke his back, comfortingly

he leans closer in your touch before he decides to nuzzle his head in your neck, “i’m so sorry, y/n. please don’t leave me.”

your heart would honestly break at this, “why would i ever leave you jay? we work through our arguments, okay? we don’t leave over them”

he nods into your neck and stays there until he regains his assurance

𖠗 심재윤 | sim jaeyun.

even though you and jake are literally attached at the hip

he still gets these random thoughts that tell him he’s not enough or that you’ll leave him for something better one day

he can’t help but he insecure yk? you’re his most prized possession and he knows how valuable you are to other people

so when you both are sleeping and suddenly he gets these images of you leaving, he wakes up screaming “NO”

you jolt awake to see his hands on his chest and him frantically panting

as soon as your hands meet his, he seems to immediately calm down while he looks at your teary eyed

“bad dream?” you frown, squeezing his hands tightly

he nods, ���i dreamt that you were leaving me”

you hug him immediately, “i love you so much, jake. i cant leave you, it’s not physically possible”

these words are enough to make him feel better

𖠗 박성훈 | park sunghoon.

as much as he expresses how lucky you are to him, hoon often wonders how life would be without you

this leads to him spiralling and panicking

but he never voices it to you

today, it must have gotten too much for him since he starts muttering in his sleep “don’t leave me” along with calls of your name

hoon wakes up to see you’re not in your bed and he feels his chest tighten and his throat close up

he calls your name several times and finally, you appear out of the darkness

to which he jumps out of bed to hold you close to him, “don’t scare me like that, again”

“i went to get you a glass of water, babe. you were talking in your sleep”

now that you finally know how he feels, you can fix his insecurities and make him feel more assured <3

𖠗 김선우 | kim sunoo.

sunoo has always been worried that he’s not enough for you, each time he mentions his concerns, you’re there to help make him feel better

so this time, the horrid thought seems to invade his sleep

he calls out your name several times before beginning to sob entirely

his sobs must also wake him up as he jumps to sit up, clutching his chest

you’re quick to follow him and immediately wrap your arms around him, saying “it’ll be alright”

once he calms down, he doesn’t talk about it as just how you’re there for him now is enough.

𖠗 양정원 | yang jungwon.

everyone gets insecure or jealous in the relationship

maybe it was something won heard or saw that caused an insecurity to bubble up within him

either way, he won’t mention it because he thinks it’s silly

the only way you find out is when he screams it in his sleep

after hugging him and telling him it’s okay, he asks if you heard what he dreamt about

you nod yes and he sighs but you begin to talk about how he’s feeling

and then you tell him, “won, you’re the only guy for me. the only one i love; i’d never leave you.”

𖠗 西村力 | nishimura riki

you’re his first love, all these feelings and stuff are new to him

he doesn’t expect himself to feel like he’s not enough for you, especially when you’re literally dating him

but he can’t help it

niki won’t tell you what’s wrong either, but it’s obvious that somethings on his mind

you drop the matter until bed time when the thoughts he has been hiding all day became evident in his unconscious muttering

once he wakes up, you’re at his side, “this is what was bothering you?”

his eyes are rimmed with tears as he nods

“awww, baby you should have told me. look, now they’re even in your nightmares,” you immediately hug him. “nothing would make me leave you, how can i? i love you the most.”

[p0orbaby]

Sinners | Pride

summary: leah had a good game, you show her how proud of her you are

warnings: SMUT 18+, soft sex, too much talk of cabbages…

a/n: the final part of this silly little smutty series, hope you enjoyed !

word count: 1.4k

Lust | Gluttony | Envy | Sloth | Greed | Wrath

-

You’re barely through the hotel room door before Leah is tossing her keys on the dresser like they’ve personally offended her. It’s one of those tiny hotel rooms where you can practically wee while brushing your teeth, and somehow the décor manages to look both clinical and like someone’s grandmother’s living room at the same time. You’re trying to figure out how that’s possible when Leah lets out a dramatic sigh.

“Today was a day,” she says, flopping onto the bed like she’s auditioning for a life insurance advert.

“You were brilliant,” you say, but it comes out flat, like you’re just trying to move the conversation along so you can get to the part where you finally make her feel good. The truth is, she really was brilliant. Like, once-in-a-lifetime brilliant. But the moment feels too small for that much sincerity, so you settle for plopping down beside her and patting her thigh like she’s a good dog.

“Yeah, well,” she says, staring at the ceiling like it’s going to give her all the answers to life. “I’m exhausted”

You turn to look at her, trying to read her expression. She looks tired, sure, but also like she’s carrying the weight of the world on those very capable shoulders of hers. You think about saying something profound, but then you remember you’re you, and instead, you blurt out, “Did you know you talk in your sleep?”

She blinks, turning her head to look at you. “What?”

“Yeah,” you say, as if this is the most normal thing to bring up after an award-winning performance. “Last night, you mumbled something about… cabbages?”

She laughs, the sound catching you off guard. “Cabbages? Really?”

“Yep. It was riveting. You were really passionate about it, too. I was half-expecting you to wake up and start giving a TED talk on the virtues of leafy greens”

She rolls her eyes, but there’s a small smile tugging at her lips now, and you feel like you’ve won some kind of prize.

“And you didn’t wake me up? What if I had important cabbage-related things to say?”

“I’m sure they were life-changing,” you say, “But honestly, you were so cute, I didn’t have the heart”

“Cute,” she repeats, like it’s a foreign word. “I just played ninety minutes of some of the best football of my career and you’re calling me cute?”

“Hey,” you shrug, “I can multi-task. Appreciate your talent and your cuteness all at once. It’s a gift”

She raises an eyebrow. “And what exactly is your plan for this so-called ‘gift’?”

You smirk, leaning in closer, your lips brushing her ear as you whisper, “I’m going to show you just how proud I am of you. And if you’re lucky, I might even throw in a lecture on the superiority of cabbages”

Leah snorts, but you can feel the way her body tenses under your touch, anticipation thrumming just beneath the surface. “You’re ridiculous”

“And yet, here you are, fully consenting to be seduced by said ridiculous person”

“Fully consenting?” She repeats, amusement dancing in her eyes. “That’s some confidence you’ve got there”

“I prefer to call it optimism,” you say, sliding a hand up her thigh, fingers brushing the waistband of her joggers. “But call it whatever you want. Just as long as you let me take care of you”

She doesn’t say anything, just watches you with that intense stare of hers that always makes you feel like she’s stripping away every defense you’ve ever had. It’s unnerving, but also hot as hell, and you’re about three seconds away from ripping her clothes off just to make the feeling stop.

But you don’t. Because this isn’t about you. Not tonight.

“Let me,” you murmur, your hand already slipping beneath her waistband, fingers brushing against her bare skin. “I want to”

Leah sighs, and it’s the kind of sigh that says she’s giving in, but she’s going to pretend like she’s doing you a favor. “Fine. But if this is some kind of elaborate ruse to get out of listening to my cabbage TED talk, I’m going to be really disappointed”

“I promise,” you say, leaning in to kiss her neck, “No vegetables”

She laughs, and it’s the best sound you’ve heard all day. You take that as a win, pulling back just enough to slide her sweatpants down, leaving her in nothing but that damn sports bra that’s seen better days.

“You really should get a new one of these,” you say, fingers tracing the edge of the fabric. “It’s practically a relic at this point”

“Are you seriously going to critique my sports bra right now?”

“I’m just saying,” you murmur, kissing your way down her stomach, “It deserves to be retired. Maybe hung in a museum”

Leah opens her mouth to respond, but whatever sarcastic retort she had dies on her lips as your mouth finds her hip bone, teeth grazing the skin there. You feel her shiver beneath you, and you smile against her skin.

“Relax,” you say, your voice low, soothing. “Let me take care of you”

Leah’s hands find your hair, her fingers threading through it as she pulls you closer. “You talk too much”

“Maybe,” you say, your mouth moving lower, “But I’m really good at other things”

“Prove it”

You smirk, because that’s exactly what you plan to do. You take your time, kissing your way down her body, hands roaming, exploring every inch of her like it’s the first time. Leah’s breath catches when you reach the spot between her legs, and you can feel her anticipation like a tangible thing, thick and heavy in the air.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” you murmur, your breath hot against her skin.

“Shut up,” she mutters, but there’s no heat in her words, just a soft, almost embarrassed laugh.

“Make me,” you counter, and before she can come up with a witty retort, you dip your head down, your tongue slipping between her folds, tasting her for the first time tonight.

Leah’s response is immediate, a sharp intake of breath, her hands tightening in your hair as she arches off the bed. You don’t let up, your tongue teasing her, tasting her, taking in every soft sigh and quiet moan that escapes her lips.

You keep your movements slow, deliberate, teasing her just enough to keep her on edge, but not enough to push her over. She’s trembling beneath you now, her body tense with anticipation, and you know she’s close, so close, but you’re not done yet.

“Please,” she breathes, and it’s the closest thing to begging you’ve ever heard from her.

“Please, what?” you ask, your voice muffled against her.

“Just… please”

You could make her say it, make her beg properly, but you’re not that cruel. Instead, you give her what she wants, what she needs, your tongue moving faster, more insistent, until she’s gasping, her body shaking with the force of her orgasm.

You don’t stop until she’s pulling you away, her breath coming in ragged gasps, her body spent and trembling. When you finally pull back, she’s staring at you with something that looks suspiciously like awe, and you can’t help but feel a swell of pride in your chest.

“Good?” you ask, because you need to hear it.

“Good?” she repeats, her voice hoarse. “I told you you’re ridiculous”

“Ridiculously good, you mean”

Leah just shakes her head, a small smile playing on her lips. “Get up here”

You oblige, crawling up the bed to lay beside her, your arms wrapping around her as she buries her face in your neck. For a moment, there’s nothing but the sound of your breathing, the feel of her body pressed against yours, and you think this might be your favorite moment of the day.

“Thanks,” she murmurs after a while, her voice muffled against your skin.

“Anytime,” you reply, kissing the top of her head. “I’m so proud of you, Leah. You were amazing today”

She doesn’t say anything, just snuggles closer, her hand resting on your chest as she drifts off to sleep, safe and warm in your arms.

You lay there for a while, listening to the sound of her breathing, feeling the rise and fall of her chest against yours. And just before you drift off to sleep, you can’t help but whisper, “I really hope you dream about cabbages again”

Leah doesn’t respond, but you like to think that if she was awake, she would’ve laughed.

[7ndipity]

How They Would Confess To Their Crush

Ot7 x Reader

Summary: How they would confess to their crush. In connection to the Secret Crush HCs series.

Warnings: Swearing, slightly suggestive moments, not proofread

A/N: Thanks to the lovely anons who requested this! This kinda feels like a conclusion to the secret crush HCs we’ve been working on for a while(tho I’m sure we’ll come up with some more ideas like first dates or smth, lol) Hope y’all like it!

Masterlist

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Jin:

I think he would want to plan out some elaborate scene and make it romantic with flowers and music or smth, but in actuality he just ends up blurting it out as you’re hanging out one day.

He’s almost done it so many times, the words literally always on the tip of his tongue, so when they finally do come out, he’s almost as surprised as you are.

He immediately turns anxious bc “Oh shit, that was out loud, what do I do now?!”, but when you say you love him too and kiss him, his mind just goes completely blank and he leans in more, following your lead.

It might not have been how he imagined confessing, but the outcome is better than anything he could’ve dreamed up.

Yoongi:

He would probably end up quietly confessing during one of your late night hangouts where you’re both so tired but not willing to say goodnight, the conversations getting deeper the later it gets.

He thought it would take a lot more to make him finally confess, but something about the way you sleepily smile at him made it so easy, the words rolling off his tongue with almost no effort.

Even though you may have already had your suspicions that you were into each other, it still comes as a slight shock to hear him say it, your startled expression making him fear for a second that you’ll reject him, but then you say you feel the same way and it’s like he can breathe properly for the first time in forever.

You end up talking till you fall asleep tangled together, happier and more content than you’ve both felt in a long time.

Hobi:

He would go all out, surprising you when you come over to hang out with flowers, candles/fairy lights, music, the works.(It almost looks more like a proposal than a confession, but he really wants to impress you and show how much you mean to him)

He would be so nervous, even if you both kinda already knew how the other felt, he can’t help worrying about what if he’d misread things or if you said no.

Luckily, his fears are completely unfounded, bc as soon as you walk in and he starts the speech he’s prepared, you nearly burst into tears before tackling him in a tight hug, saying you love him too.

Most of the evening is spent curled up together on the couch, fessing up to all the times where you fell for each other.

Namjoon:

It would probably happen after a fight or smth when you’re not talking to each other, forcing him to realize that he can’t keep lying to you about his feelings or pretending that nothing else is going on and still expect things to work out between you in any form.

He would probably either ask to meet up for coffee so you can talk things out or just show up at your house, depending on how brave he was feeling in the moment.

Has this whole ass speech prepared, but he doesn’t manage to get through even half of it before you’re pulling him into a kiss, effectively shutting him up for the next few minutes.

When you separate to breathe and his brain starts working again, you talk things out and admit how you both felt the whole time. It’s kinda messy and chaotic, but that’s how things have always been between you, why should this be any different?

Jimin:

I think he would take a semi-serious approach to confessing, almost in an attempt to counteract his normally aloof, flirty energy with you, sitting you down to talk about everything. His sudden shift in behavior would honestly make you kinda nervous, worried that something’s wrong.

He would definitely be slightly nervous too, even if he knew that you liked him too, since liking each other doesn’t necessarily mean that you want to be together.

Once he starts to tell you how he feels tho, it’s like he can’t stop, everything he’s been feeling pouring out until he catches sight of your teary expression. Before he can ask if you’re okay though, you tackle him, saying that you feel the same way about him before connecting your lips with his.

Not much else is said for the next little bit, finding much more, *ahem, inventive ways to express your feelings to each other.

Taehyung:

Similar to Jin, I think he would want to make some sort of elaborate romantic gesture, but it would end up just slipping out one night during a quiet moment together when he just can’t stand not being able to be close to you in the way he wants.

He would state it so simply, as if it was already obvious, trying to keep his voice calm despite the faint anxiety that began to creep through him the longer the pause between his words and your response stretches on.

When you smile and say you feel the same though, he could’ve sworn he was floating, quickly pulling you onto his lap and claiming your lips just like he’s always dreamed of.

You spend the rest of the evening tangled together, sharing kisses and talking until you drift off, at peace in your newfound home in each other's arms.

Jungkook:

Similar to Joon, I think it would happen after a fight or one of his moments of jealous possessiveness, when he realizes that no type of relationship between you, romantic or otherwise, will ever work unless he’s honest with you.

And even if he fears you might reject him(tho, he tries not to think about that), he has to get this off his chest, for both of your sakes.

Would probably just show up at your door and blurt everything out in an only partially thought-out speech that he came up with on the way over, barely giving you a chance to say anything until he runs out of breath, still talking even after you try shutting him up with a kiss.

Once he finally calms down, you’re able to talk things through more coherently, somehow still managing to surprise him when you say you want to be with him too.

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz

[srjlvr]

SEVEN ROYALTIES

“once upon a time there was a prince, who did anything he could to be with the love of his life” — park sunghoon.

park sunghoon x fem!reader genre: childhood friends to enemies to lovers , one sided love somewhere into the story , heavy angst , fluff ! warnings: character’s death (not a main character) , curse words. (lmk if i missed something pls!) || NOT FULLY PROOFREAD!!

WORD-COUNT ; 5.5K+

NOTE. wow i dont even know where to start! it’s been a real while! i think like more than a month, i’m extremely sorry for being gone, school is so stressful, but i got some time to write now and honestly? i missed it so much!! hopefully you’d like this part and don’t let it fool you, just because i’ve been gone for a while doesn’t mean i’m not continuing this wonderful series!! it was also supposed to be enemies to lovers but i honestly failed miserably and idk how to define it- some mentions of sunoo’s story are dropped here too :)

“why do you always look at me like that?”

“like what?”

“like i’m the most precious thing you’ve ever saw”

a few years into your childhood and you were already been told that you’re going to marry off to someone as soon as possible.

you, being the second princess and the least favorite one, had to deal with a lot of struggles through your childhood.

everyone loved your older sister more, praised her, cherished her, spoiled her, gave her whatever she wants.

you, on the other hand, had to work hard in terms of getting what you wanted.

you always looked up to your older sister, you can’t lie, you definitely understand why she’s getting all the attention to herself without even trying.

your mom is your favorite person, she’s actually your best friend.

some kids have hard time deciding what to answer when they’re being asked who’s their favorite parent, but you definitely know the answer already.

it’s your dad that never bats an eye to you, your mom however always tries to maintain her attention to both you and your sister. you’d do anything for your mom.

as much as you’re happy that you’re at least not a second option in your mom’s perspective, the king is the one who’s more dominant.

you’ve always tried to get your father’s attention, even for a mere second, but he always pushed you away, making you feel unworthy and sad.

at age six, you were forced to go with your mom to one of her friend’s kingdom, your neighbor kingdom.

everyone in royalty knows about the good friendship your kingdoms have, and they’re all surprised it still keeps on going.

royalty comes with a dangerous risk, people will always look at anything you do, and will not hesitate to attack if you happened to do something they’re not a fond of.

your kingdom suffered lots of wars, but won almost all of them.

at the very same day you were forced to go with your mom, you also met the person who finally had all their attention on you, the person who you could rely on no matter when.

“i’m y/n!” you extended your hand out with a smile.

“i’m sunghoon” he whispered and you tilt your head. he wasn’t shaking your hand and you couldn’t even hear him.

“what?”

“i’m sunghoon”

“i cant hear you!!” you shout and put your ear really close to his mouth.

“i’m sunghoon!” he shouted into your ear and you fell down while holding your ear.

“you did that on purpose didn’t you!” you pout and he laughed.

that’s when you realized his cute smile and the little dimples that grew on his cheeks.

he was cute, a cute and shy prince, you could get along perfectly with him.

and you actually did. you spent the rest of your visit just roaming around their castle.

he introduced you his six brothers, they were all very nice and funny, but only sunghoon interested you.

he told you about his interests and you told him about yours.

“i want to learn how to skate!” he said and you noticed his eyes growing in excitement while talking about it.

“it sounds really interesting!” you smiled and cheered him.

“what about you?”

“i actually don’t know” you sighed, “i want my father to pay more attention to me”

“who needs your father when you have me? i’ll be always here for you” he smiled.

“really?” you asked and he nodded, “really”

“promise me!” you held out your pinky and he locked his with yours, “i think promises are stupid, but only for you i promise to never leave you side”

“why are they stupid?”

“because sometimes you regret them, or even forget them, and you cant keep them forever”

growing up with sunghoon was something you could never explain.

having to suffer your father’s comparisons between you and your sister was something, but having to see sunghoon going through puberty was something else. scarier indeed.

the both of you were inseparable, to the point where your parents even started talking about marriage between the two of you when you were twelve.

every now and then in your teenage years, you’d come around his castle, your second home.

whenever you were pissed off with your father or just wanted some quiet, you’d find yourself going back to sunghoon, only he knew how to make you feel ten times better.

“what are you reading?” he asked you.

you were laying your head on his lap as he sat under a tree, it was a peaceful day and you wanted to enjoy some time with him.

“just some fairytale stories” you put your book on your stomach and looked at him who was already looking down at you.

“wishing it was you?” he teased.

you rolled your eyes and smacked the book on his head, “fairytales are the best!”

you returned to read the book while he kept staring at you.

“read for me” he asked and you looked at him, sharing an eye contact.

“hey”

“hm?”

“why do you always look at me like that?”

“like what?”

“like i’m the most precious thing you’ve ever saw”

sunghoon coughed a bit and looked away, “just start reading please, im interested”

“the princess then took the prince’s hand and held it tightly, slowly closing the gap between them and leaning in for a kiss—“

“never mind! i’ll just go sleep” sunghoon threw you off him and laid down next to you.

“you could’ve done that nicely!” you scoffed and he laughed.

he can’t explain it, but something about you makes him feel warm and comfortable. he loves your company more than anything else in this world and there’s nothing he loves more than staring at your gorgeous face.

spending a few years together made him long for you more and more every day that he’s not next to you.

he fell in love with you, and he fell hard.

you weren’t better either, every day without sunghoon for you felt like eternity.

he’s the only person you can see your future with, the only person who loves you for who you are and the only person that has his full attention on you.

you trust him more than you trust yourself and you family members.

on royal events, you’d be acting like a married couple, shooing away the singles royals that wants to catch you.

you belong to sunghoon and sunghoon belongs to you.

“it’s nice to meet you prince sunghoon” one filthy princess introduced herself to sunghoon while you stood by his side, holding his arm.

“likewise, meet my wife, y/n” he said, clearly uninterested in the princess but as soon as he looked over his side and met your eyes a smile formed on his face.

the princess scoffed and went away, finally letting you and sunghoon laugh it off.

“did you see the way she looked at you when you said you have a wife?” you held a hand over your chest, out of breath because of the amount of air you let out.

“please, it was so funny i’ll remember it for long” he nodded and you continued making jokes about everyone around you.

you shared your first kiss with sunghoon when you were fifteen.

“i love cherry blossoms” you said as you walked together with sunghoon under the cherry blossoms.

it was one of your favorite things to do with him, walking through the long road, hand in hand.

“and i love you” he let out.

“what?”

“what?” he repeated after you.

“what did you sa-“

he cut you off with a kiss, your first kiss.

cherry blossoms fell from the trees and the wind caressed your skin.

his lips were soft, locked with your lips. it was perfect, the kind of fairytale you were always wishing you could have finally came true, with the person you loved the most.

when you parted your lips to get some air, both of you giggled and he put his forehead against yours.

“i said i love you” he smiled.

“i love you too”

regardless of the sudden confession, you decided to stay as friends, and when the both of you will feel ready, you’d try it out.

at age sixteen, your mother’s condition started to go downhill. she got sick and had to take medical exams every now and then, ever since then, you decided to spend time with her as much as you could.

“good morning mom! how are you feeling today?” you asked with a huge smile on your face when you saw your mother.

“feeling as usual, nothing new” she gave you a weak smile, “have you eaten yet?”

you shook your head, “i was at the garden after father had his daily complains over me, i needed to take some breathes”

your mother nodded and hugged you, “i’m sorry your father is like that, if being a selfish father was a competition he’d definitely win”

both of you giggled and spent a few hours together.

you never told sunghoon anything about your mother’s condition, every time he’d ask about her well-beings you’d say she’s doing well but she’s too busy with duties, and he’d suspect nothing.

at the age seventeen, your mother’s condition worsened, she had doctors around her all the time.

“hello mother” you smiled.

“y/n! good morning” she tried to smile back.

“how are you—“

“i must ask you something before it’s too late” she cut you off.

“what is it?”

“i’ve been thinking about it for a while, and it might be silly and selfish of me to ask you to do that” she sighed, “please promise me you’re going to marry sunghoon”

“what?” you asked confused.

“he’s treating you well y/n, i don’t think i’ve ever seen you happier than when you’re with him. you’re perfect for each other” she nodded, “i don’t have much time left, hearing you promising you’d marry the man who makes you the happiest, would help me leave peacefully, to know that you’re going to live the life you deserve”

“i promise mom, i promise i’ll marry him but please, you have much time left, don’t say such nonsense!”

your mother hugged you and thanked you. guess it wasn’t so well-hidden that you were in love with sunghoon.

on one of the days your father called you. before walking inside his room you rolled your eyes, what kind of a complain he has now?

“hello father” you looked at him coldly.

“y/n,” he called, “i need to ask you to do something”

“huh?” you looked over him confused, “you never ask me for favors”

“your sister is too busy with her duties, so i trust you with this one” he shortly explained.

“okay,” you nodded, “what is it?”

“i need you to come with me to visit the other neighbor kingdom—“

“but we were never on good terms with them, they’re hybe’s kingdom biggest rivals too!” you cut him off.

“they’re the only ones that can help us with your mother’s condition. we must do anything we can to help her” your father sighed, “they have a son who’s interested in you, they requested to see you too”

you shook your head, “i’m not interested in him—“

“this is the only way to help your mother!” he shout and you backed away.

“what about hybe kingdom! can’t they help in any kind of way?” you argued.

your father shook his head, “they can’t do anything about it, and they must not know about your mother’s condition”

“so going to the rival kingdom and risking your good friendship is better?”

“you’re coming with me and it’s final”

a few days before your visit in your neighbor kingdom, sunghoon came over.

before he went to search for you, he heard two servants talking about something that drawn him to it.

“did you hear about y/n’s mother’s condition?” one of them said.

“it keeps on getting worse, poor y/n! i heard she has to go to the other kingdom to ask for their help together with the king” the other replied.

“i heard they’re the only ones that could help! hybe kingdom knows nothing about it because they don’t want to bother them too much, i also heard the son of the other kingdom is interested in y/n, what about prince sunghoon!”

“poor them, i just hope she won’t end up with their son. i was rooting for y/n and sunghoon endgame”

“agree, i also heard their daughter is interested in sunghoon! this is risky” she shook her head.

“y/n is strong, she won’t marry the son i just know it” they both nodded their heads and sunghoon slowly walked back.

he refuses to believe what he just heard. y/n’s mother’s condition worsens? y/n marrying someone else? he’ll never let that happen.

“sunghoon!” you called and hugged him, “i was searching for you instead of you searching for me”

sunghoon was not responding, he was too deep in thoughts and didn’t know how to stop them.

“sunghoon?” you waved your heads in front of him and he finally came back on track.

“i was just thinking about something” he smiled.

“would you like to talk about it?” you smiled warmly at him.

how could you smile so widely when youre going through all of this?

“it’s not something that should bother you” he smiled and kissed your cheeks.

you spent the rest of the day looking out for sunghoon, he was different today, as much as he didn’t want to show it, you noticed.

the next day sunghoon found himself standing in front of his biggest rival kingdom. he never thought he’d have to step his leg into this kingdom, but he’d do anything for you as long as he could.

“park sunghoon! i’ve never thought i’d witness a hybe royal inside my kingdom!” the king teased.

sunghoon closed his eyes and clenched his jaw, “i need your help and you’re the only one that can help me” he said firmly.

“we’re rivals, why would i want to help you?”

“because i have something you want” he sighed, “i’ll be getting my kingdom sooner or later, i’ll give it to you together with my crown”

“you’ll lose your crown for something possibly stupid?”

“i need you to help princess y/n’s kingdom. the queen’s condition is getting worse. i heard you gave the best doctors that can help her”

the king laughed, “you’re doing this for y/n and not for yourself? what a stupid prince you are!”

sunghoon looked away, fighting the urge not to stab the king and fight him.

“very well, i will help in exchange of your crown”

their agreement was that the king will send his best doctors to help your mother, and as soon as sunghoon will get his crown, he’ll give it to the king. if one of them breaks the agreement, it’s off.

a few days passed, and it was supposed to be your visit day in the other kingdom, except that it got canceled.

“did you tell anyone about this visit?!” your father shout at you and you shook your head.

“how come he sent me this stupid letter saying that if we step into his kingdom he’ll declare a war!”

“i don’t know! i did nothing!” you argued.

“something stopped him, more like someone! i’m going to find out who did this!” your father roamed outside his room, slamming the door harshly and you flinched.

a week passed and your mother’s condition wasn’t doing any better, the doctors told you it was already time to say goodbye but you refused to do so, you refuse to believe you won’t be able to see your mother everyday soon.

everything was too overwhelming and stressful, you decided to go to your second home, you needed some comfort and it’s been a while since you saw sunghoon anyway.

“what are you up to?” you found him in the castle’s garden, deep in thoughts.

“just thinking about something”

“by something you mean me?” you teased and he smiled, not answering your question because the answer is quite obvious.

you then hugged him tightly, and sighed deeply as you rest your forehead on his shoulder.

“is everything okay?” he caressed your back slowly.

“my mom isn’t doing well lately” you finally confessed. you had to let it all out and tell sunghoon the truth.

“she’s sick, too sick. and the last week was such a roller coaster, her condition isn’t getting better and it’s our time to say our final goodbyes, i’m not ready for that sunghoon” you sobbed, “i’m sorry for dumping it all on you and telling you all of this now when it’s late i just—“

“it’s okay” even though he already knew about your mother’s condition, he was so glad that you finally opened it up and told him, “i’m here for you”

he held you tighter than before and whispered sweet comfort words that always knew how to calm you down.

right after you left he thought about what happened.

he made a deal with the other kingdom, the king was supposed to help your mother, how come her condition worsened? something didn’t make sense to him at all.

“sunghoon!” his father called him and sunghoon rushed to the king’s room.

“yes father?”

“you’re getting married to our biggest rivals daughter and didn’t even tell us? are you out of your mind?” he shout.

sunghoon could’ve swore that in that moment his heart stopped beating, “what?” he asked in disbelief.

“the other king sent us a letter! inviting us to your wedding with his daughter! we’ve never been so humiliated, how could you betray your family?” his mother interrupted.

sunghoon shook his head, “there must be a misunderstanding—“

“how come?” the king asked, “your name is written on that letter! and it was probably sent to all the other kingdoms!!”

“what about y/n?!” his mother asked and his eyes widened.

“y/n…?”

“how do you think she’ll feel receiving that letter? huh?”

“no, no! none of this is true! you must believe me!”

“explain yourself then! we’re here waiting!” sunoo, one of sunghoon’s brother argued.

sunghoon sighed, shutting his eyes tightly and clenching his fists, “y/n’s mother, the queen, her condition is getting worse. she’s been awfully sick for a few years already, i overheard their servants talking about how only the other kingdom could help her because they don’t want to bother us. so i went to them myself, i made a deal with the king that he’ll help the queen in exchange of my throne—“

“are you out of your—“

“jay! let him talk” the queen shushed him.

“yes! i was ready to give up my crown if it means i can help her in any way!” sunghoon sighed, “the king obviously did nothing and lied to me! and now apparently im ‘marrying his daughter’ you know damn well that’s never going to happen because i want to marry y/n!”

sunghoon’s mother wiped out her tears and hugged sunghoon, “i’m sorry you had to go through this, you could’ve told us—“

“i didn’t want to bother you too, this story is complicated than you think”

“what about y/n’s mother’s condition?” the king asked quietly.

“y/n said it’s been getting worse, they started to say their final goodbyes” sunghoon whispered and the room became quiet, as a respect for the queen.

“you should go to her, to check on her” heeseung suddenly spoke.

“yeah, i bet she needs someone by her side right now” jungwon added.

sunghoon nodded and with his parents’ approval he went to your kingdom.

he searched for you around and saw you staring at your garden, he smiled for himself and tapped your shoulder.

“hey” he said.

“what are you doing here?” you asked coldly.

“what?” he tilt his head, “i’m here to visit you”

“don’t you have a wedding to go get prepared to?” you scoffed, “go away park, you’re not welcomed here anymore”

sunghoon had been stabbed a few times in his life, but your words hurt him more than ten stabs at once.

“you have to listen to me i—“

“there’s nothing to explain! i got the letter, saw your name on it and it was enough for me to understand this was all a game for you” you shout, “i can’t believe i actually believed your bullshit”

“i hate you, park sunghoon” you spit out, nothing but hate is in your fierce glance at him. he just chuckled, “you don’t mean that”

“oh i do,” you nodded, “and to think that i actually promised my mom i’ll be marrying you” you chuckled in disbelief.

“looking back at that promise, i realize why you used to believe that promises are stupid” you added.

“i’m sorry” he apologized, “sorry isn’t going to change anything, is it?”

“y/n—“

“just get out, please” you were being nice, asking him to leave and pointing your hands to the door although he already knew where to go.

sunghoon didn’t want to bother you, he thought you’d probably relax in a day or two, and he’d be able to talk it out with you.

you can’t just erase all your feelings and delete all your memories after so many years, right?

as soon as he got out he went to the other kingdom, to finally get some sense into that stupid, useless king.

“park sunghoon! so nice to see you my son-in-law!” the king said and sunghoon only wanted to punch his face.

“wedding? with your daughter? son-in-law? you’re out of your fucking mind!” he spit out.

the king only laughed in his face, “why? wouldn’t you like to be my son? i’ll take good care of you”

sunghoon rolled his eyes, “the deal is canceled, you won’t get any crown or another kingdom, fix whatever you did, you ruined my life anyway and you never even helped y/n’s mother”

“oh but i feel like i haven’t ruined your life enough”

“cut it off, we both know my kingdom will finish you once we’ll declare a war”

“what makes you think that?”

“i did” another voice was heard in the room.

sunghoon’s father stepped in and put his hand on sunghoon’s shoulder.

“and i’m afraid i also know too many secrets about you, old friend” he teased, “leave my son alone, and don’t you dare ruin his life again. he did a mistake asking for your help but he did what he had to do”

sunghoon’s father then dragged him out of the kingdom back to theirs.

right after sunghoon left your room, you went out to breathe and relax your brain a bit.

how could sunghoon do this to you? everything he ever said to you, every hug, every joke, was it all a lie to him?

there must be a reason behind it, but you’re too hurt to even care about it. no reason could be enough for you right now.

you decided to focus on being next to your mother, spending her last days together and showing her the brightest side of you, you didn’t tell her anything and she didn’t suspect anything so you just left it be.

three days passed ever since you last heard from sunghoon.

you miss him, you miss everything and anything about him. you needed his comfort the most right now, but you couldn’t bring yourself to see him.

“y/n, sunghoon is here to pay a visit” one of your servants informed you.

“tell him i don’t want to see him,” you sighed, “and tell him to take care” you whispered that line.

you refused to see him in any cost. you’re too angry to even care about his feelings right now. all you could feel is betrayal, and hurt.

in one of the next days, you went out to the garden to read some books and write on your diary.

when you got back inside the castle you saw your mother’s doctors standing with their heads down.

“we’re sorry your highness, we did everything we could” they said and couldn’t even make eye contact with you as their eyes were full with tears.

you froze there for a few minutes, you knew this day would come but could never prepare yourself enough for that. you didn’t want to believe this day would come so fast.

“please tell me i’m dreaming” you told them but they shook their heads, “we’re very sorry your—“

they got cut off when they saw you falling to the ground, sobbing and covering your eyes.

you were crying like a little child who lost their ice cream, refusing to get up and screaming at everything.

the last few days were just about you and her, she taught you everything you needed to know about life and royalty.

“you need to be a good wife to sunghoon!” she smiled.

“mom! he has to be a good husband before that!”

“you’re right! if he’s being mean tell him you’d leave him and take all of his money” she joked and you giggled.

“i don’t need money”

“you don’t, but you do need to annoy him and help him realize he’s nothing without you!”

all of those memories past by your mind all day, thinking about your dear mother, who was there for you when no one else was.

“who’s going to be by my side now, mom?” you asked quietly, “i already miss you so much”

it was dinner time in hybe’s kingdom, all seven brothers sat together with their parents.

“sunoo, we’ve found the perfect wife for you! you’re going to meet her at the ballroom on ni-ki’s birthday!! isn’t that exciting?” the queen clapped in excitement.

“yeah, very exciting!” sunoo tried to sound cheerful, but failed miserably in sunghoon’s eyes.

he pitied his younger brother for being the only one who’s being forced to someone he doesn’t even know.

sunoo explain multiple times to his parents that he wants to marry someone out of love, and that he believes that when it’s time, he’ll meet the one for him. but his parents turned deaf to his thoughts.

“i already met her once, she’s really pretty! the perfect pair for you!”

“your highness” a few servants came into the room and interrupted the dinner.

“is it important? we’re having dinner right now—“

“queen (name) of (name) kingdom is no longer with us” the servants lowered their heads as a respect and the king got up from his seat instantly.

sunghoon’s eyes widened, he was left speechless and froze in his place.

“we’ll be going to pay our respects tomorrow morning together, prepare yourselves” the king said and left the dining room.

sunghoon didn’t know what to do. it has already been a week and he’s been trying to reach out to you, but you rejected him every time.

he sent you letters but didn’t get any back. he was hopeless.

what is he supposed to do now? he didn’t even say his last goodbye to his mother-in-law.

the next day, you received loads of letters from loads of kingdoms, thanking the queen for her service and mourning her death.

hybe’s kingdom however, came personally to comfort you and the rest of your family.

the king and the queen, and six of their children. yes, only six of them. one of them was missing.

park sunghoon didn’t come to comfort you.

“we’re very sorry to hear the devastating news, the queen was the kindest soul we’ve ever got to meet” the king shook your father’s hands and pat his back.

the six sons came to you and hugged you. you hugged them back and broke down. the six sons already became your brothers long time ago, you felt safe around them.

“we’re sorry y/n, we’re here for you now” heeseung, the oldest one said with a comforting smile.

as much as you were thankful for them, you were hoping to see a certain person, a person who didn’t even bother showing up.

it only added up to your anger on him, how could he do that? what happened to always being there for you?

“sunghoon felt a bit sick and unwell today, he couldn’t get up from his bed, he really wanted to come” the queen smiled weakly at you and you returned the smile.

you spent the rest of the day with your six brothers, completely forgetting about your father and sister, they were here to comfort you and be with you.

“sunoo,” you called out, “hm?” he answered quietly.

“is sunghoon really sick?” you asked and he nodded, “i think the news about your mother caught him off guard, he couldn’t even speak after he heard the news”

you pressed your lips together and nodded, “please wish him well, i hope he’ll get better as soon as possible”

“i will do that” he smiled warmly at you.

just because you’re hurt by him, doesn’t mean you don’t care about him. he still holds a big place in your heart.

the next days passed by slowly, you spent most of your time in your room, sometimes even refusing to get out for a whole day.

sunghoon crossed your mind every day. your last words to him crossed your mind every day too.

you said you hate him, but you lied. you love him, you love him too much that it hurts.

you feel too betrayed and hurt by him but it’s somehow the last thing that interests you.

you just need to see him and hug him. but your ego wouldn’t let you.

so you waited for him to fight for you, you knew he’d try again, and again, and again, that’s just the person that he is.

after a while of isolating yourself in your room, you decided to get out and read some books.

that’s what your mom would want you to do, to move on and start a new life.

as you were reading your book, you heard a familiar voice calling you.

“y/n,” your heart skipped a beat. you were too scared to turn around and see the person you were so hoping to see for so long.

“please tell me you’re not who i think you are” you breathed slowly.

“i’m sorry” he let out.

you finally decided to turn around and you met his eyes. it’s been a while since you last saw him, you missed staring at his beautiful face, and his beautiful moles that made his face look ten times better, his kissable lips that always felt soft against yours, you missed everything about him.

“please,” he whispered, “please hear me out this time”

you blinked a few times, still not believing that he’s actually in front of you.

“you didn’t show up when i needed you the most, you betrayed me and lied to me, why would i listen to any of your excuses now?” you argued, but deep down you wanted to hear him so badly.

“y/n please” he pleaded, “just listen to what i have to say, and it’s up to you wether to believe it or not, just please, i don’t want us to break apart without you hearing the reason behind it”

you let out a few tears to fall and slowly nodded, he was right, you never let him to explain himself, you were too selfish and cared about your feeling that you didn’t even care about his.

he told you the whole story from the start, and you were sobbing your heart out.

“i’m sorry,” you let out, “i’m sorry for refusing to listen to you, i’m sorry for rejecting you so many times, i’m sorry for telling you that i hate you—“

“stop apologizing stupid,” he chuckled, “it’s over now isn’t it? we’re even now right?”

“it’s over now, promise me you won’t ever hide from me something like that again” you extended out your pinky.

“but you said that promises are stu—“

“not when it comes to you” you smiled.

instead of locking his pinky with you he cupped your face and pulled you into a kiss.

“i love you y/n, i’m sorry it took me a while to get back to you” he whispered.

“i love you too sunghoon, im sorry for rejecting you multiple times” you giggled.

“finally! get married already and leave this kingdom please!” you heard your sister in the back.

“i’m sorry that my sister can’t be a bit more like your brothers” you awkwardly smiled and sunghoon laughed.

“she’s right though, let’s get married as soon as possible and get our own kingdom” he pecked your lips.

“IN TWO DAYS??”

“well you said you wanted to get married as soon as possible! i already planned everything!” sunghoon’s mother smiled and hugged the both of you.

“can’t say i’m not biased, i’ve been shipping the two of you ever since you both met” the king added.

“are they gonna have babies as soon as possible now too?”

“NI-KI!!!!”

TAG-LIST ; @jaeneohee @hsgwrld @enhastolemyheart @enhacatalog @kaykay11sworld @ipoststuffandyeah @beomsbeanie @queestionmark @ineedsomezzz @yenqa @nshmrarki @asteriaskingdom @ikayyyyyy @mrchweeee @artiiistyxoo @6yulight @woncoree (bold means cannot be tagged)

PERM TAG-LIST ; @sungwhoonz @ohdudehesflirting @unlikelysublimekryptonite @deobiis @manooffline @miumiuoi @in-somnias-world @lovelovelovebts @filmofhybe @wonbinsnovia @daegutowns @aurumiee @soobywon @dhriti-stories @ariadores @firstclassjaylee @watamotee33 (bold means cannot be tagged)

••• copyright © srjlvr all rights are reserved.

[asbealthgn]

(part one here)

Steve drives over the Munson trailer first thing in the morning after spending the night at Robin’s. He feels a little bad since he knows that Eddie doesn’t like getting up early, but Steve’s pretty desperate to talk to him. Now that he knows he has feelings for Eddie, he doesn’t want to waste a second.

Wayne’s truck is parked outside the trailer, meaning he’s home from work, but he’s probably in bed by now. All the same, Steve goes around to Eddie’s window instead of the door. He kicks a crate over to stand on to reach the glass and raps his knuckles against it. After maybe thirty seconds, Steve hears motion inside and sees Eddie appear at the window. Steve can’t quite figure out what his expression is—some mix of apprehension and embarrassment and hope.

Eddie slides open the window. “What do you want, Harrington?” he asks. 

“Can we talk?” Steve asks. Eddie stares back at him for a long moment.

“What about?”

Steve curls his hand around the window sill. “C’mon, you know what about.”

Eddie is silent for a long moment before shaking his head. “Can we just forget it ever happened?” he asks, “Pretend you never heard anything?”

“Eds, please,” Steve says, ready to start begging. “Will you just let me in? Or come out here so we can talk?”

He’s afraid Eddie’s going to shut the window. The way he’s eyeing it is definitely concerning, so Steve puts his other hand on the window sill as a deterrent. Eddie looks down at his hands and then sighs. 

“Meet me out front on the couch,” he says. He backs away from the window and disappears to where Steve can’t see him. This is progress though. 

Steve makes his way back around the trailer. He skips up the porch steps and settles in on the couch. A few seconds later, Eddie emerges wearing a hoodie, his hands inside his sleeves and arms crossed. It’s a little cold out here, but not freezing. Steve thinks it’s more a defense mechanism than a response to the temperature. Eddie sits down on the couch, leaving a couple feet between them. 

“Eddie—” Steve starts.

“Listen, I’m really sorry,” Eddie says, squeezing his arms tighter around himself. “I didn’t mean for you to hear that.”

“It’s okay, I—”

“I get it if you don’t want to be friends anymore, seriously,” Eddie says, “I know I made things weird—”

“—no, Eddie—”

“—but I do really want to be friends with you,” Eddie says, plowing over Steve. “Our friendship means so much to me, and I don’t want to do anything to fuck it up.”

“Eddie—”

“So please, please just pretend like I never said anything. I can get over it, I can—”

“—Eddie, will you please—”

“—I get that you’re straight, I know nothing will happen between us, I don’t want to ruin—”

Clearly this approach is not working. If Eddie isn’t going to let Steve get a word in edgewise then he’ll just have to resort to more drastic measures. And maybe this is really stupid, but it’s honestly the only thing Steve can think of to shut him up and get his point across at the same time.

He grabs Eddie’s face in both hands and kisses him.

If Steve still had any doubts about his feelings for Eddie, then this puts them to rest. He feels warmth spread out from his belly through the rest of his body. God, he likes kissing Eddie. It takes a few seconds for his brain to catch up and realize that Eddie is completely frozen against him. 

He pulls back. Eddie’s eyes are wide, mouth falling open. The seconds stretch without a response, so Steve speaks. “You didn’t ruin anything,” he says, brushing his thumbs lightly over Eddie’s cheeks. “And I don’t want to forget what you said. It’s what made me realize that I have feelings for you.”

That finally gets a reaction out of Eddie, a series of quick blinks. “You…have feelings for me?” Eddie asks, voice almost inaudible.

Steve nods. “I do,” he says, “I really do.”

“Kiss me again,” Eddie whispers. 

So Steve does, leaning forward and pressing his lips back to Eddie’s. This time, Eddie kisses him back, and fuck. This is everything Steve could have hoped for and somehow so much more. It’s only been about seven hours since he figured out he likes Eddie and he already doesn’t know how he’s lived his whole life without kissing him. He doesn’t know how he’s ever going to stop.

“Steve,” Eddie murmurs, pulling back slightly. Steve can’t quite hold back the whine that starts in the back of his throat, which makes Eddie smile. “We should go inside,” he says, glancing around. It’s not like there’s anyone else out here, but they’re still pretty exposed. 

Steve gets up and follows Eddie inside. As soon as the door shuts behind them, Steve grabs Eddie again and pushes him up against it, kissing him. Eddie starts to say his name, but Steve swallows the sound, desperate to never let go of Eddie again. 

From the direction of the kitchen, there's the sound of a throat clearing. 

Jerking back, Steve looks over and sees Wayne standing by the counter, eyebrows raised over the edge of his Garfield mug. His eyes are sparkling. 

“Mornin’, Steve.”

tagging: @bisexualdisastersworld @cr0w-culture @axl-is-online @awkotaco24 @justforthedead89 @bumblemyrtle @justmiiriam @brassreign @beautifulphantomstarlight @croatoan-like-its-hot @cosmicanamnesis

[pearlescent-poppies]

I’m sick and tired of the Flower Husbands discourse. Like really truly it is just making me so upset now. They are my comfort ship. They are. My first tattoo is a poppy with the ESMP1 quote. I want to hold them in my hands and give them all of the good things in the world. When I see people calling them toxic and abusive, it really hurts me. And there’s not a tag to filter out all of it, not all of them tag “toxic flower husbands”. I get it, okay? I do. I get why you might see them like that. But if anything? If we’re going to see Flower Husbands as the most toxic duo, take a look at every other relationship Jimmy has in the Life Series (with the exception of Tango) and you’ll find the same thing. He’s the butt of the joke. He’s the canary they all poke fun of in his cage. He doesn’t care. But Scott does care. If Desert Duo never left the desert, Scott never stopped crying at Jimmy’s grave. Did you watch his series all the way through? Did you see his ideal afterlife? That Jimmy welcomed him home because that is what they had together? Did you hear the way Scott’s voice got sad talking about how quiet and weird it was not to have Jimmy with him? Have you not watched as Scott uses every single opportunity possible to bring up Flower Husbands? He misses Jimmy with every fiber of his being. Jimmy misses Scott too. Did you watch Last Life? Do you know what Martyn did to make Jimmy give him back the life? He promised a life together, Martyn says it himself! That it was all romantic promising to run away just the two of them. How Jimmy was so hopeful. So naive because this was the beginning, he’s not got all of the hope anymore. Jimmy has had to move on. Jimmy made himself move on. 30 seconds. Do you not imagine him turning away from that interaction resigned to his choice a single tear rolling down his face before he rejoins his boys in their shenanigans? Cause I do. That was a man he had devoted his life to. And yeah, maybe it was because of a joke and a silly a poppy. But do you know what a poppy means? Remembrance, dreams, death, and hope for a peaceful future. Do you know what the white daisy, blue cornflower, and red tulip meant at Jimmy’s grave? Purity, life, reanimation, hope, and true feelings. Do you think a character who conveys a message like that capable of the abuse you accuse him of? Scott’s general air of cattiness is just his character. Hard edges that once you’ve chipped away at, reveal someone who is extremely dedicated and fiercely loyal even and especially to his own detriment. Scott will make jokes about finally being free once his husband dies to the war, but I really think that’s just him preparing for the inevitable. Jimmy was going to die. Canary or not. They all were. So why not make a joke out of being lambs in a slaughterhouse. Isn’t that one of the main ways people cope? Scott loved his husband. Still does and will continue too. Jimmy is the same. But he let go. Had to. He would never have forgiven himself for dragging Scott down with him. How many times do you think that man apologised to Tango for dying first. How many times do you think that man apologised to Tango for dying first before they even lost their third life in the first place? I honestly think Scott himself sums this up best: “I don’t always put myself first and sure I’ve made plenty of mistakes and I’ve hurt people. But I’ve always done my best.”

So next time you wanna call them toxic, rewatch the series and think about this post.

[nonuify]

Just jeonghan sending a video of his hands like this (https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6C2y6bJ-Uu/?igsh=MWhlaGhtOG40N2h1Yw==) while he's on tour for you and then calling you and making you masturbate imagining those fingers

ᝰ.ᐟ ☕️ — Y.JH ; ! such a tease

nsfw is included ! minors do not interact 18+. [ smut ] ꩜. | part of the jeonghan hands committee 🫡

“ missing your boyfriend while he’s on tour one day he sent a video, you thought it was just another video of him. oh how you were wrong. ”

it was just another boring day without your lover, lounging at the comfort of your bed since it was nighttime there was nothing to do honestly but to sit & watch some series on your laptop.

honestly you missed him even tho he left a few weeks ago but a person can miss him the yoon jeonghan especially his fucking sessions with damn, it was the best.

twisting & turning on the duvet the currently warmed your skin, you were getting bored really fast, needing entertainment quick, suddeling a ping! from your phone erupting, it was an amusing coincidence, of course you checked your phone, quickly smiling realizing it was a message from your boyfriend.

hannie 🩶 / hello doll, how are you, missing you </33

you / hiii !! I’m missing you so not good :(((

hannie 🩶 / it’s only a couple months, sweets I promise then I’ll never leave you alone like ever 💯

you / yeah I know but… what about now

hannie 🩶 / I’m sorry baby:(

you sighed, you didnt want to make him feel bad but at the same time you missed him so much truly, I mean everyone missed their lover when they are gone right?

returning to the misery of watching a romcom which you quite literally don’t understand it, you just put it on to wash away your sadness of missing jeonghan.

suddenly another ping!.

hannie 🩶 has sent a video.

when you opened it your jaw was widened, that little fucker you thought, he knew you had a thing for his hands, sending a video while he was away just made it worse.

you looked at how his hands moved wishing it was playing with your cunt that was now wet.

you whined pressing your thighs together to cause friction, to ease the feeling.

you / ???

you / what the fuck are you doing?

read.

he really left you on read? right now? in a life of crisis where you needed him to plunge his fingers in & out your cunt till you came a million times.

“that’s son of a !-“ you yelled, but got cut off quickly by a ring erupting from your phone.

hannie 🩶 is calling.

answering the phone quickly, praying that this phone call would turn into a steamy masturbation session.

“hello?” you spoke up first, needing to know why he would tease you.

“you loved the video i assume” he jumped right into it, with a teasing laugh following through it

“shut up you idiot, you know how I feel! especially that your away, dumbass!” you whined.

“awh my baby misses me so much doesn’t she?” he teased more not caring about the need you so much had.

“please just… just don’t tease anymore” you said more quieter then a few moments ago

“tell me baby, what are you thinking about?”

“your hands, hannie” you pouted, looking at yours, wishing it was his about to play with you instead.

“my hands?, well doll what are my hands gonna do you for you hm?” he asked once more, wanting more answers uttering from your mouth.

“you know what I mean han” you mumbled but he catched you hearing that.

“no baby I don’t know what you mean” he said, voice hinting with amusement.

“your hands in me, okay??” you finally confessed. the not so innocent thoughts about his fingers.

“you’re so cute when you act like that, how about you imagine my fingers in your pretty little cunt hm?” he said you but you knew well it was anything but a favor.

“now listen doll, i want you to play with your clit slowly how does that sound?” he continued.

you obeyed, slipping your fingers inside your soiled panties, till they came in contact with your clitoris, you pressed on it firmly, a sigh of relive coming out then continuing to rub it in a circular motion, with quite subtle moans following.

jeonghan tensed to your lewd sounds, his member hardening more than a few moments ago, his hand slipping down to press on his raging cock reliving the pain, he groaned a fuuck lowly, “cmon now sweets slip in a finger for me, go in & out shit” he cursed out as you followed his every word.

your finger met with your wet hole arousal dripping out of it, slipping it in quite easily then out shortly, you continued to this routine till you started to beg for more, “please hannie I wan’ more please” you whined tears threatened to spill down your eyes, jeonghan had always teased you during sex calling you his crybaby, which turned you on immensely.

“my baby slut already crying huh? you’re so pathetic” he laughed out, “cmon you can add a finger then scissor them baby, want you to stretch you out you can do that” he followed up.

you added another finger plunging them into you going them in & out in a rythem then eventually parting them inside of you, you rolled your eyes loving the feeling of it, a loud moan escaping your pretty lips with a bunch of curses, jeonghan began palming himself to your sounds, groaning as he imagined you giving him a handjob.

you sped up your pace, wanting to catch your orgasm, not knowing you slipped a third trying to imitate his hands knowing you could never feel the same with his hands “thinking bout me fucking you open with my hands baby hm? my dumb fuckin’ baby such a whore for just my hands god” he threw his head back.

feeling the knot thing inside your belly you fasten the pace once more, desperately needing to cum, & jeonghan’s dirty talk helped a ton of lewd imaginations of you & him.

“fuck, fuck, fuuck hmphh!!” you yelled as cum gushed through your hole, panting heavily.

“mm that was good hannie” you spoke out barley.

“yeah? shit you should’ve heard how you sounded like” he chuckled a bit.

“thank you hannie I love you” you shyly spoke

“mm love you too baby, you should sleep it’s quite late there isn’t it” he said, you defended yourself saying you weren’t sleepy but he knew you well, you would wake up grumpy, sooner or later you wished him good night as he did so too.

in the morning ᯓᡣ𐭩

hannie 🩶 has sent a photo !

you woke to a message sent from your lover.

smiling as you opened it, but quickly fading away as you realized it’s a dick pic. not just any it was his dick with your cum filled panties with it.

! ����𝜚˚⋆ thank you for reading >ᴗ< !! hope you like this anon !!

[bring-backup-99]

Before It Gets Too Late

PAIRING: tech x fem reader

SUMMARY: You spend a fun and special day with Tech, starting with a flying lesson that takes an unexpected turn. There’re fluffy times but mostly sexy times. (I’m trying to support and comfort my Tech people during this dark period.)

WORDS COUNT: 1926

RATING + WARNINGS: 18+, very spicy, porn with minimal plot, PiV, rough sex, probably bad flight mechanics

NOTES: This is installment twenty-two of my reverse harem “Bad Choices” smutlet series on Ao3, but I think it’s also a nice stand-alone Tech story. Although it’s written in second person, my heroine has a very established relationship with the Batch.

Everything was going fine until a large flock of flying creatures shot out of the canopy in a wide column directly into the ship’s path. You were too close to simply fly around them, and every other usual option you could think of would leave hundreds of them dead and the ship with possible light damage.

So without a second thought, you killed the thrusters while sending the ship in a tight turn, the nose pointed at the column. A quick tap of the port thruster has you cleared of the animals, with what you hoped were minimal casualties, then you reinitialized the main thrusters and resumed your disrupted flight path.

For a full minute, there was silence to your left. Finally, “It appears that flying lessons were unnecessary.”

“That was never the question,” you hedged. “You asked if I would like you to give me lessons. You didn’t ask if I knew how to fly. I answered honestly.” And this was your third time out.

“But with a glaring omission,” Tech huffs at you.

“Don’t be angry at me. I was very curious as to how you would be as a flight instructor, and I would not have received the same response if you had known.” What you do know is that this is logic he won’t be able to argue with.

He hmphs at you again, but you can tell he’s not really upset.

“That was an interesting maneuver you performed.”

“A modified ‘Tech turn.’ Seemed like the best option for minimizing death and destruction.” You pause for a moment, then you look at him. “It can’t be, right? The ‘Tech turn’…” You trail off as you see the corners of his lips turn up to an actual smile.

“That is not what it is called.”

“I’m going to fuck your so hard as soon as we land.”

“I was contemplating something similar.”

He doesn’t take the controls from you, but you sit quietly for a while.

“I’m not great at mechanics. You could teach me that?” you offer.

“Specifically define ‘not great’,” he asks.

“I definitely couldn’t fully repair this ship, but I am unable to give you a rundown of which systems I am deficient in. That’s the best I can do.”

“That…is acceptable.”

*

Almost as soon as the ship touches down in the tree-lined clearing, you are on each other. He lets you push him back down in his pilot’s chair, straddling him while your lips devour his with kisses. You groan in frustration as you try to divest him of his various layers of clothing, but you’re too eager and your fingers can’t find all the buckles and straps.

Want. Need. They course through you. You need his skin against yours. Finally, he takes pity, gently stops your fumbling, and slowly removes all the items covering his torso, your desperate whimpering doing nothing to hurry him. Then he lifts off your shirt. Your bodies crash together again. He kisses along your neck, down to your breasts, cupping them, licking your nipples. You throw your head back and cry out, your hands stroking over his head and neck; then fingernails scrape down his back, feeling his taut muscles.

“Against the wall,” you groan. Moments later, you’re both naked, and your back is to the one bare metal plate in the cockpit. Tech drops to a knee in front of you, places your leg over his arm, and targets your clit in a focused and aggressive attack.

“Fuck! FUCK!” you scream as, mere minutes later, you come. And then he lifts you, burying himself deep inside you, pounding into you, your pussy still twitching in pleasure.

Every rough, hard thrust is accompanied by his grunts, and you loudly proclaim your satisfaction, your voice echoing through the ship. You want Tech to do this, need him to do this, to take his pleasure from your willing body. He captures your wrists, pinning them above your head with one hand, his other hand gripping your ass, fingers pressed into your flesh, pinching, bruising. He kisses you, mauling your lips, and when he breaks away, you sink your teeth into his shoulder.

He gasps, releasing your wrists, and takes a strong hold of your ass and thighs, angling you for deeper, feral thrusts. Your arms encircle his neck and shoulders. You want him like this, desperate for you, as if no one else could give this to him. An animalistic groan emanates from him as his cock ravages you until finally a full throated cry signals his climax and he holds himself deep inside of you, and you feel his hot cum pump into you.

Neither of you move, the only sounds your gasping breaths as you each try to take in enough air.

“Mmmm,” you finally manage. “That was excellent.” You smile, then lick a drop of sweat from his neck.

“Yes,” he says, a slight gleam in his eye, “Quite satisfactory.”

* You lie in a bunk together, your head on his shoulder, a hand idly stroking his chest.

“Why did you not disclose to me that you did not need flying lessons? Your skill level is clearly quite adequate.”

You suck in your breath. I wanted to spend time with you outside of my bedroom. I wanted to know who you are when we’re not fucking. I wanted to be on this ship with you when you could be focussed on me. I wanted… So many wants, as if you can’t be happy with what you have.

“It’s been a long time since I flew. I wasn’t sure that I didn’t need them…at least as a refresher.” You hesitate. “Are you angry at me?...slightly perturbed?

“I am not. And at least they were not a waste of time.” His fingers run up and down your arm.

“No,” you agree.

Tech looks down at you, watching your hand move along his skin. You have not asked him why he offered to teach you, which is for the best. Tech is worse at articulating his wants than you are.

*

You wake up alone in the bunk. It’s been awhile since the person you’d fallen asleep with wasn’t still beside you. The ship is dark, so it must be night. You get up, the floor cold under your feet, expecting to find Tech in the cockpit.

Instead, a drop-ladder is down from the midship overhead storage space.

“Tech?” You call up.

“Ah, you are awake,” you hear him say. “I was just coming down to collect you. Come up here.”

“Um, I’m naked?” You look around for your clothing and see nothing.

There’s a long pause. “It appears that I am nude as well…I do have blankets.”

You sigh and tentatively climb the ladder, then follow Tech’s voice to a maintenance hatch with another ladder that lets you out onto the ship’s fuselage. He takes your hand and leads you to where he’s laid out a large blanket over the cockpit. You feel awkward even though the warm night air is quite pleasant on your skin.

“What’s this all about?”

Tech helps you down onto the blanket, then points up. “The moons have just set, so we should have quite an excellent view of the Quadrillen meteor shower. I believe you expressed dissatisfaction with your ability to see this from the city.”

You look up and, after a few moments, you watch a meteor blaze across the sky. You hadn’t mentioned that you wanted to watch this to Tech. You and Crosshair had been discussing it. You hadn’t realized Tech was paying attention. You lie next to each other, mostly in silence, watching the light show.

“I must admit, I was skeptical at first, but this is quite a pleasant experience.”

“Skeptical? Why?”

“I have seen many natural phenomena during my travels in space. I did not think that the debris from a comet entering a planet's atmosphere would be particularly visually stimulating in comparison to what I have witnessed. But taken as a whole, this is quite an excellent experience.”

You laugh. “I suppose.” Smiling, you continue to watch as the little streaks fill the night, when suddenly three meteors scorch their way across the sky. You sit up excitedly and point. “That was amazing.” You look down at Tech. He has a slight smile on his face, then he pushes himself up and presses his lips to yours. His arms gather your body to him, one hand stroking in your hair, one at the small of your back. He takes your breath away with his kiss, drawing you down onto him.

This feels insane. Are you really going to fuck on top of the ship under the night sky? Turns out, yes, yes, you are.

You lie on him, enjoying the feel of his hot skin along your body. You kiss for a long time, until you can’t take it anymore, and whisper, “I need you. Please.” He helps you slide onto him, both of you gasping. You whimper; you’re a little sore but the sensation is too sweet. You lean forward, pressed chest to chest, as he pivots his hip to help you fuck him gently.

And when he carefully rolls you both so you can watch over his shoulder as the stars cascade out of the sky, you can’t help but think that this is all a little too ridiculous. He moves above you, long strokes that make your breath catch, and you cry out because sometimes he fits inside you perfectly.

You wrap your legs around him. “Yes, I like that. It feels so good. Just like that, Tech. Mmmm, just like that.”

Stars keep falling as he takes hold of your legs, angling you so his cock can thrust deeper. Your cries sound small as the trees surrounding you consume them.

You move together, one being working toward the same goal. Each stroke sends shivers through you until you feel your body full with warmth as a soft climax overtakes you, not nearly as intense as the one earlier, but somehow more satisfying.

He holds your hands, fingers intertwined, as he watches your face while the orgasm washes over you, drinking in those little noises you make that he so enjoys. He moves carefully as you finish, knowing you must be sore already, wanting you to still find pleasure as he nears his own climax.

And then you start whispering to him, “Come in me, Tech. I need to feel you inside me. I need it. I need you to come for me.” You move under him, insistent, demanding, so he has to surrender to you. He stiffens and gasps, his hot cum emptying in you. You wrap yourself around him as he collapses onto you, finally spent. You watch as the stars continue to fall through the blackness of the sky.

“We shouldn’t fall asleep up here.”

“Yes, that would be unwise.” He gingerly lifts himself off you. You roll and lie on his shoulder, watching the stars fall behind the trees. The air is cooling and you shiver. “Let us go back inside. You can continue watching from the cockpit, if you wish.”

“Tech.” He looks at you, while collecting the blankets. I wanted to spend more time with you, that’s why I lied.

“Thank you for tonight.” This was really special to me. I hope it was to you.

“Yes, this was very enjoyable.” He watches you as you climb down the hatch. I wish to do this again.

* But wait, there’s more:

The rest of the series can be found here.

Warning: It gets kinky

[ryuichirou]

I saw your recent Riddle x Floyd pic on kofi and I was wondering, what kind of drunks do you think the twst boys are? Like flirty drunk, sleepy drunk, crazy drunk, etc. Also, what do you think their alcohol tolerance is? Like, who’s a lightweight and who can down shots like there’s no tomorrow?

Anon! I’m finally replying to your very fun ask. But actually, even though that comic was posted on kofi ages ago now, it actually makes sense for me to post it today of all days… 👀

Still, sorry for the wait! This is honestly a very good question, and a very interesting one to think about.

Also also, I keep thinking about a series of drawings+hcs that this jp artist drew, and I loved their hcs a lot! But I haven’t looked at it ever since they were posted, so I hope they didn’t influence my own hcs too much lol I don’t think they did, but…

Riddle – surprising no one, he gets drunk instantly even if you just put a drop of whiskey in his tea. He is the lightweight with zero experience with alcohol, and he swore to his mother that he would never drink it, even after he turns 18. But life had other plans for him… I feel like drunk Riddle gets giggly and unexpectedly playful, even slutty, he really is the ultimate “homeschooled virgin goes ham at his first college party and sucks someone’s dick”. He can’t stay awake for a long time though, so he’ll fall asleep somewhere in the corner after half an hour or so. He also won’t remember anything about the next day.

Ace – he gets drunk too easily for his own liking, he really wants to get better at it. He tried drinking a couple of times even before enrolling to NRC: one time he stole his mom’s vanilla liqueur and threw up, the other time he sipped on his brother’s beer while he was in the bathroom, and then got smacked for that. Out of the first years, he is the one that gets the most excited about stealing booze, and whenever he is drunk, he is obnoxious. He yells, fights, pranks, does stupid shit and lives his best life…

Deuce – he also gets drunk easily, but not as easily as Ace. But this is because he already had his “gets drunk and acts obnoxiously” phase: he and his delinquent guys used to drink a lot. Deuce liked drinking more than he liked smoking… He doesn’t want to drink now because he is afraid that his “bad self” will come out, but unless Ace is around to keep him heated, Deuce is likely to just get sleepy and mumble nonsense quietly to himself.

Trey – he is good with alcohol. Well, he feels super drunk whenever he drinks, but you would never guess it: he doesn’t look and act drunk at all. Well… He starts looking scary and intimidating after a certain point. Regardless, he prefers to pull a “well, one of us has to stay sober and make sure everyone is okay, right?” and just sit there watching everyone get drunk.

Cater – a big enjoyer of cocktails (as long as they aren’t extremely sweet). He also likes straight-up whiskey, but never drinks it in front of others. He doesn’t drink often, but he started drinking when he was pretty young. He is very good with alcohol, but sometimes he really wants to get tipsy, relax and have fun, so he is probably the one to drink more than some of the other boys.

Leona – loves alcohol but very capricious about it: it has to be expensive and rich in taste. He doesn’t like mixing stuff, but when it’s mixed with milk he actually doesn’t mind it. He prefers to drink alone, or in a company of one other person. And he would get a bit flirty and provocative, but actually, for the majority of times he’d just suddenly start snoring and purring at the same time.

Ruggie – he doesn’t like drinking, but he loves when others drink because this is an opportunity for him to showcase his cocktail-making skills. He knows a lot of cool cocktails and is very good at identifying expensive booth… not based on taste though, it all tastes the same to him. When it comes to drinking, he would just drink homemade beer that his grandma makes. He doesn’t get too drunk, but he laughs at everything whenever he does. And also starts stealing shit just for the sake of it.

Jack – oh pupper. He doesn’t like drinking at all: he gets hot, sweaty and confused immediately. He starts panting, sometimes even with his tongue out. Then he gets restless and starts pacing around the room, either whining or growling quietly to himself, looking as if he would pounce if someone was to poke him even a little bit at this state. But if he pounces, he’ll just lick that person’s face and neck all over… and maybe get inappropriate?? But he bounces back pretty quickly, after like 2 hours he’ll be completely sober. Keep making him drink!

Azul – he used to dislike the taste of alcohol (and was very self-conscious about it), but now he loves it. As long as it’s good, of course. Unlike Ruggie, Azul can take one sip and tell you everything there is to know about this specific vintage. He is an elitist and hates on a lot of alcohol brands though, even some high-end ones if he doesn’t like the taste. He is absolutely going to have a proper bar once he graduates. If he good with alcohol though? Not really… Azul has stages when he drinks: at first he just gets more talkative, then he gets giggly, then he gets openly aggressive, then he gets very sad. He tries not to drink up to that point…

Jade – another one who prefers to watch people drink rather than to drink himself. He doesn’t get too easily drunk himself, but he gets hiccups sometimes, and it’s embarrassing. He is also extremely good at making cocktails and experiments a lot, making both Azul and Floyd drink his concoctions, and it’s always a gamble whether he’ll make something extraordinary or will make you throw up.

Floyd – he flip-flops. Sometimes he could be that one sour sober face that doesn’t want to drink with everybody, sometimes he randomly drinks a couple of bottles because he wanted to see if it would make him pee harder. He hates the taste of alcohol (any alcohol!), he hates getting headaches and throwing up and feeling like shit in general, he hates not remembering stuff, but he loooves spinning when he is drunk. And causing destruction. He is all over the place when he’s drunk, even more-so than he usually is.

Kalim – he has some experience with alcohol! It’s not like he used to drink all the time when he was a kid, but whenever they had any kind of celebration, his dad would give him one sip of the wine (or any other thing rich friends brought to them that day). So Kalim actually likes wine quite a lot, and was genuinely surprised when he realised that he can’t bring bottles of good wine to NRC to celebrate with Jamil and the other students. All of that doesn’t mean he’s good with alcohol, mind you, because he gets drunk very easily. But it’s like his “kalimness” just enhances, and he gets even more clingy and wants to dance a lot. And also touch and kiss a lot… He is also super lucky and never gets hangovers.

Jamil – now this is someone who always gets hangovers and it always hits him like a truck. In Jamil’s perfect world, if he would have nothing to worry about, if he could just relax for one evening without worrying about doing 1000 things the next day, and if he was in good company (preferably on his own), he would love to have a good drink. But the majority of times he gets drunk it’s because Kalim makes him drink. Or Kalim drinks 5 different kinds of wine, and Jamil has to taste every single one before giving it to him (and also try it from Kalim’s glass every single time because you never know when someone might put something in the bottle). So he just gets gradually more and more drunk… Jamil is surprisingly well-composed even when he is drunk, but he gets hot. Literally and figuratively, he is suddenly more seductive and even horny… but it never ends with anything good.

Vil – he enjoys the taste of good alcohol, sometimes would even have wine mom moments and just pour a glass for himself for no reason, just to unwind. But this is a very rare treat: he is aware that alcohol is bad for your body, so he prefers to drink a smoothie instead. He is a social drinker though, so he would drink sparkling wine on parties. I feel like Vil doesn’t drink too much and is good with alcohol in general, but he does get flirty… and more reckless as well. Wink.

Rook – doesn’t get drunk at all, no matter how much he drinks. It is almost unfair because he doesn’t have to avoid drinking like Trey and Jade do to watch the others get drunk: oh he drinks with them alright, he thinks it’s polite to drink just as much as the other person does. But he doesn’t get drunk miraculously… but if someone would to ask him, he would say that he is very drunk!

Epel – loves alcohol. He is right there with Ace when it comes to the first years that are always excited to drink. He loves to brag about drinking with the men of his village all the time… which is kind of true, but also kind of false: it’s not like he chugs moonshine with them. He is allowed to have apple cider though, so he is actually probably better with alcohol than both Ace and Deuce… he is still bad at it though lol, he gets either clingy or aggressive or aggressively clingy, depending on how much he drinks. His little body punishes him with the biggest hangovers.

Idia – hates it, bad with it, feels like it’s torture. He is one of the most capricious ones because he hates the taste, the smell, the burning feeling, everything, but then again, it’s not like he tried all the options available: he might have actually enjoyed something sweeter or even just whiskey+coke combo (if there isn’t too much whiskey there). His first stage would be to become very talkative and start complaining about everything, having even less filter than usual, but then he would start getting red, breathing heavily, moan quietly and hug his own knees, as if he is in the biggest agony in the world. His hands and legs also start shaking crazily when he is drunk.

Ortho – human!Ortho of course: he is better with alcohol than Idia; in fact, he would be the one to insist that Idia should try different kinds of alcohol just to see if he likes the other ones better. Ortho used to hate booze as well, but as he got a bit older, he got more interested in it, so these days he doesn’t mind a bottle of beer. But he is a social drinker, he never drinks alone. it’s more about hanging out with friends for him. He also doesn’t get super drunk, he is like the opposite of Idia. Maybe he just never drinks too much…

Lilia – this man used to chug gasoline from the car pipe. This man used to shotgun vodka from a glass bottle. This man is a legend and he can outdrink almost everyone in this school. But that doesn’t mean he won’t get drunk because hoo boy will he get drunk. Sometimes he gets as obnoxious as Ace, sometimes he just wants to have fun like Kalim, sometimes he gets aggressive like Floyd… but there is also this secret 4th type of Lilia drunk that is too creepy, hungry and sexual to describe. Also! He used to never get hangovers, but he does now. Getting old sucks.

Silver – it would be funny if Silver was the type of drunk to get energized and more awake, but I feel like he just gets even more sleepy, but also clingy. In terms of stamina, I’d say he’s a 3 out of 5… He doesn’t get drunk immediately, but can’t drink more than two glasses. Also, he was 3 years old when he drank alcohol for the first time, thanks Lilia. Well, it was just a little sip..!

Sebek – he has a big future ahead of him and good potential, but for now he is pretty bad at drinking. He doesn’t like it because the taste is usually too bitter (he’s a baby…), plus, he feels dizzy afterwards. He doesn’t like not being in control of himself, so sometimes he freaks out when he is drunk, but sometimes he just sits there with his head in his hands and tries to concentrate and undrunk himself. When he is drunk he is either aggressive or aggressively horny…

Malleus – it feels like it’s impossible to get him drunk, but in actuality it is possible, it’s just that he has to drink a lot for that. Even if he is very drunk, it’s difficult to tell that he is for anyone other than people who are the closest to him (or someone very perceptive like Rook), but he gets extra playful, pouty and really wants to dance and show off. He is very dangerous when drunk because he can burn down the entire house just for shits and giggles… and if he gets angry while drunk, it’s extra dangerous.

[ham1lton]

The prompt idea is so cute💕. I'm giving you 4 options, choose the one (or ones) you like the most, if you feel like mixing and/or matching them it's also fine☺️. 011. Oscar Piastri 013. Charles Leclerc 019. Lewis Hamilton 047. Carlos Sainz - 🪻

011. a university lecture hall during a class w/ OP81.

— part of a series of drabbles! <3

professor hamilton’s creative writing classes were usually incredibly full. he was a very popular lecturer who managed to inject life into all of the older books that he would discuss. you had to wait at the sign up page like ticketmaster to get a spot in the limited class, but you managed it. so now you had your designated lecture seat, in the sweet spot of the hall. not too far up but not too close.

“excuse me?” the boy next to you whispered. “do you have a pencil?”

you frowned. who doesn’t bring a pencil to a lecture? especially one as good as professor hamilton’s. you rummage around in your bag and manage to come up with a biro. you hand it to him.

“thank you.” he smiles, and that’s the end of your conversation.

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

next week, the same thing happens again. you sit in your designated seat. he sits next to you and asks for a pen. then he hands it back after the lecture finishes. this routine happens every week for the next six weeks and honestly, you’re kind of annoyed. who forgets a pen to their lecture every week? so by the seventh week, you say something.

“hi, again.” he smiles. “do you have a pen i could borrow?”

“do you not have one?” you ask. “it’s sort of imperative you bring your own materials to class. you can get free ones from the library.”

he looks taken aback, a flicker of embarrassment crossing his face. "i know, i'm sorry," he says, running a nervous hand through his messy brown hair. "i do have pens, i just... well, i thought it was a good excuse to talk to you."

you blink, caught off guard by his honesty. "an excuse to talk to me?"

he nods, a shy smile tugging at his lips. "yeah, i guess it's a bit stupid. but you always seemed so focused, and i didn't know how else to start a conversation."

you feel a mix of irritation and something softer, perhaps flattery, creeping in. "so, you’ve been bothering me for six weeks just to talk?"

he grins awkwardly, the tension in his shoulders easing. "pretty much. i'm sorry if it annoyed you. i'll make sure to bring my own pen from now on."

you pause, considering his words. "well," you say finally, "y’know if you wanted to talk, you could have just... talked. no need for this pen charade."

he laughs, a genuine sound that makes you smile despite yourself. you can hear an accent in his voice, australian? "noted. so, can i make it up to you? maybe over coffee after class?"

you hesitate for a moment, then nod. "sure. but only if you promise to bring your own pen from now on."

"deal," he grins, holding out his hand. you shake it, and for the first time, you notice how warm his hand is. maybe this pen-forgetter isn't so bad after all. “i’m oscar.”

“y/n”

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

author’s note: i chose the oscar one!! but someone else actually asked for the same charles prompt! so that should be posted soon <3

[canary-curse-57]

At long last, I would like to present you all with a 2000+ word ramble about

WHY I THINK JIMMY SOLIDARITYGAMING COULD WIN THE LIFE SERIES

This WILL be long, this WILL be rambling, and I WON’T always get info correct, but I’m very passionate about the fact that Jimmy really is a good player, but happens to be an even better content creator (I’ll explain what I mean by this later!)

To start, I will analyze every death of his (although I will be excluding many from Limited Life for time reasons) because I believe that most of them can be categorized as some mix of Bad Luck, Accident, and/or Silly Decision. Then, in a different section, I’ll focus mainly on the Silly Decision deaths/explain why I don’t think he will win even if he could! I’ll also add in a TLDR section at the very end to try and summarize the big points I made. Anyways, let’s get into it!

3RD LIFE:

First death - Dare To Flare - Silly Decision

Ah, Jimmy’s first death. This is one of the Silliest Decisions of all, but it also demonstrates a characteristic of Jimmy’s playstyle that we see very frequently throughout the rest of the series: when presented with a high-risk high-reward situation, he almost always attempts the situation, even if the chance of success is negligible. There was never really that much of a chance to win Dare To Flare without cheating, and others had already died trying, but he still gave it a shot!

Second death - TNT Minecart - Accident/Silly Decision (I can't find yellow so I guess orange will do,,)

Our first multi-category death! To me, this one ultimately feels more like an accident than anything else, due to Jimmy not knowing how exactly TNT minecarts worked at the time, but I also have to qualify it as partly a silly decision because Scott did tell him not to touch it. 

Final death - Arrow - Bad Luck

This is honestly one of the more unlucky deaths for Jimmy across the whole entire life series! Ultimately, being unable to get down the ladder properly is what did him in, and I honestly believe that Jimmy might’ve been able to avoid dying first had he just not gotten unlucky with the timing of the shot/getting down the ladder. Oh, how different things could’ve possibly been,,,,

LAST LIFE:

Before I analyze the deaths for this series, I want to talk about why, to me, this is Jimmy’s best season ever in terms of results!! He was one of 5 people to start the season off with 2 lives, but unlike three of the others, he never gained another life (shoutout Ren, the other one who never gained another life!! I think this was his best season so far too!!!). Sure, he tried stealing one from Martyn, but he didn’t get to keep that one! Every other person (again, except for Ren!) that started yellow died more than 2 times over the course of the series, but not Jimmy!!! He also didn’t have his 1st death until the 6th session!! 13 other players had already died at least once before he did!! He also went to risky places where other people died (the Nether/a bastion where Mumbo died!!) and survived!! So while he had two rough deaths in back to back sessions and still went out first, this still remains his best season in my eyes, and it also is a great representation of the fact that he’s still a good Minecraft player!! He can survive really well when he minimizes Silly Decisions/doesn’t have to deal with bad luck, but minimizing Silly Decisions won’t be a frequent thing for him (more on that later) which is why I think that he could win but probably won’t. 

First death - Explosion - Accident/Bad Luck

While digging the dirt that set off the trap could add a Silly Decision category to this, I won’t be adding it because really, who would expect a random piece of dirt blocking an entrance to be trapped? (Not me, that’s for sure - I probably would’ve done the same thing) Honestly though, I feel like if this was a different type of death, Jimmy might not have gone out first. The explosion absolutely obliterating all of his stuff makes life much more difficult, and definitely impacted his season ending when it did. 

Final death - Fall/Grian - Silly Decision/Accident

The main reason that I categorize this one as a Silly Decision is because technically, Jimmy started it. Out of everyone on the server, Grian feels like the most likely to retaliate against a red, even if all they did was punch him, so it definitely wasn’t a good idea to instigate here. I also qualify it as an Accident because he says it (specifically falling off the edge of the building) was (*insert clip from Evil Anvil song here*). 

DOUBLE LIFE:

Before I start this section, I have something devastating to admit; I’ve never actually watched Double Life (I know, I know!! I’ve been meaning to for so long but just haven’t gotten around to it,,,,) I did go in and watch his deaths, so I at least know how they went down, but everything I know about the rest of this season is from the fandom.

First death - Soulmate - UNCATEGORIZABLE

Now, I know you could technically qualify this as a Bad Luck death, but I really really don’t think it fits at all!! Essentially every person in Double Life died because their soulmate died at some point, so saying that Jimmy just happened to have the Bad Luck to be paired with Tango doesn’t feel right. This death was totally and completely out of his hands, so it becomes the only one to truly not fit into any category. 

Second death - Falling/Hit By Arrow - Silly Decision/Bad Luck

Genuinely how did that arrow manage to hit Jimmy?? Bad Luck for him for sure, but ultimately standing as far over the edge as he was when people are firing up at you is a biiit of a Silly Decision. There’s also even more Bad Luck factored in when it comes to the timing of the whole thing - him and Tango just happened to be enchanting with Scar and Grian when the whole server decided to go after them! Jimmy wasn’t really even the main target here!

Final death - Enderman - Accident/Bad Luck

Ah yes, the Enderman death. I know I’ve said this multiple times already (and I’m sure I’ll say it many more), but this has gotta be one of Jimmy’s most unlucky deaths ever. With the combination of being low on food (so he can’t heal), the shield being about to break, and the tree he hides under not properly blocking the enderman, this was a recipe for disaster from the moment he accidentally looked into its eyes. Definitely a death that’s almost impossible to avoid.

LIMITED LIFE:

While I won’t be going through each and every death Jimmy had during this season (since Oh Boy there were a lot more than 3), I’ll focus on 3 that I want to point to that feel very very important to me!

Digging straight down with Joel - Silly Decision (Doing It For The Bit)

What’s this? A subcategory? Well yes, yes it is! This is a subcategory that we really only see in Limited Life, since people could die much more in that series due to the mechanic. So while this was still a Silly Decision, it was one made for fun and for The Bit! I’ll go into more depth as to why later, but this death is the ultimate example of why Jimmy probably won’t ever actually win a Life Series; he is in it 1000% for the fun!

Falling into trap because Grian pushed a button - Accident/Bad Luck

This is one of those deaths that is just so unlucky for Jimmy! Of course Grian didn’t mean to kill him, making it an Accident, but it really just feels like such Bad Luck overall! He honestly had a lot of these deaths the closer he got to the end of Limited Life; another one that comes to mind is the pufferfish death that happened while he was leaving the Nosy Neighbors’ base. These types of deaths are unfortunately completely unavoidable because they are almost completely unpredictable.

Final death - Falling - Accident/Bad Luck

This death is clearly an Accident, but it’s also an example of Bad Luck because of the placement of the minecart/the fact that he was shifting but seemingly un-shifted at the last second. Really though, this death feels like the world just making sure he died, since he should’ve been out with Etho’s boogie kill. 

SECRET LIFE:

First death - Drowned/Trident - Bad Luck

I’ll be honest, I had to go back and watch this death- but it really was another case of Jimmy just having the worst luck with this game! His health was already SO low (and sure, I could technically qualify this one as a Silly Decision in terms of him deciding to go outside when it was dark out while being so low on hearts, but it doesn’t feel quite right for some reason), & to have a trident drowned just decide to spawn in that area is awful luck! 

Second death - Ender Dragon - Bad Luck/Silly Decision

Ah, the Ender Dragon death. Yet another example of a high-risk potentially-high-reward situation that Jimmy went into despite a low chance of success,,, personally I think that if he avoided the End, his second death would’ve come much later & his chances of making it even longer would’ve increased drastically. 

Final death - Warden - Silly Decision/Bad Luck

While this death definitely has Bad Luck as a secondary factor, Silly Decision is the main one here by a MILE. Deciding to help fight/stay in the area of a Warden and a Wither while being a red life with just over one row of hearts remaining?? One of the Silliest Decisions of all! Anyways, this death also has a Bad Luck component to it because of the Warden deciding to focus on him instead of Mumbo even though they were both really close to it & also with some of the long distance shots from the Warden actually hitting.  

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, I know that was a lot of rambling, but there’s a really big thing about these deaths that made me want to categorize them; very few of them have anything to do with pvp fighting! Most of them are environmental deaths (deaths to mobs/fall damage) or deaths indirectly caused by another player (traps that Jimmy himself had to trigger) instead of ones directly caused by a player!

Of course, every player in the life series has had environmental/indirectly caused deaths, but the winners/the people who place really high? They have more deaths directly caused by a player than anything else!

Take someone like Impulse, who consistently has a very high placement in the life series, but hasn’t won one (yet!!). A vast amount of his deaths are kills directly caused by other players! Same for most of the winners!! (Scar is the outlier here, although he only died due to direct kills by other players in the season he won, sooooo)

So, here’s what I’m getting at: if Jimmy can cut down on his environmental deaths, and avoid triggering traps/aggravating other players, I think he could survive much longer than he has so far! He would go from someone who dies without others needing to have much of an input, to someone that people would have to intentionally try to kill because he’s one of the final greens/yellows! We already know from Last Life that he can go a TON of episodes without dying, so if we combine that ability with more than two starting lives, then I think we have a recipe for a potential winner on our hands!!

However. Despite my belief that Jimmy is a much better player than anyone gives him credit for, I also don’t think that he will win a life series. And this is gonna get a little over-analyze-y, but I think that he won’t win because of who he is as a person and as a content creator.

He’s always willing to take risks for friends, do something for the bit (as seen by his lava death with Joel in Limited Life), and generally put himself in risky situations. He knows what makes a good video, but he also just genuinely is having fun with his friends! I think Jimmy could win a life series if he took it really really seriously, and put a ton of time and focus into staying alive and making it far, but I’m not sure that would be very fun for him. He seems like the kind of person who is just in it for a good time. And I’m not saying that he doesn’t want to win, or doesn’t take the series seriously at all - I think he definitely does, based on his reaction to his final death at the end of Double Life & Limited Life - but he’s not gonna go out of his way to win or do the ‘smart thing’ when he can just keep enjoying the series. 

(Eugh, that felt a little too personality-analyzing/parasocial and weird for me, but I do think it’s true.)

ANYWAYS, that’s about it! 

So TLDR: Lots of Jimmy’s deaths aren’t directly caused by players, and if he can avoid those types of deaths, he could survive long enough to have a real shot at winning! He also is much better at being able to survive a long time than we give him credit for, as we see in Last Life. However, while he still takes the life series seriously, he’s ultimately in it for the fun, making it less likely that he pulls off a win. 

Thanks so much for reading, and feel free to ask questions/share your own thoughts!!

[hippolotamus]

another installment of what I'm calling the cleopatra series. this time from Eddie's POV because I got in my Buddie feels. part 1 here 💙

late for the love of my life | 7x06 Coda | 912 words | G

“Hey, how was it?” Marisol wraps her arms around his waist, giving him a peck on the lips. 

Eddie barely suppresses the urge to flinch and turn away. Which is maybe a tad dramatic, except for the way it isn’t. Because the past 24 hours have held more than a few revelations. None of which Eddie is ready to share. 

Despite the layers of clothing between them, his skin tingles and crawls where she touches him. If he didn’t have years of experience being exposed to fluids, substances and people he didn’t want anywhere near him, he thinks he would have wrenched away from her by now. No, he definitely would have. But he’s a professional at hiding his personal reactions, both on and off the job. 

Yes, he’s made progress in therapy, but the instincts to hide himself, to put up walls and masks, are still easily activated. Handy for moments like now, when he can’t escape his girlfriend. Or when he has to smile big for the crowd and pretend the perpetual feelings for his best friend don’t exist when said best friend barrels back into the room all lovestruck and covered in soot from his boyfriend. 

“It was good. Really nice, actually.” That much is true. Because it was. Honestly, the whole hospital room chic was perfectly Maddie and Chim. 

“Nice?” She asks in a teasing tone, squeezing tighter and clinging to his torso like a koala. 

His breathing is acceptably even but the urge to peel her off, to tell her that she should probably go home because his heart rate is skyrocketing, his fingers and toes are tingling, and he’s beginning to feel claustrophobic is anything but. His built in panic mode suspects there isn’t enough Jell-o in the universe to undo this. Again, dramatic, but he thinks he’s within his rights to think so right now. 

“Yeah, I-” He pinches the bridge of his nose, squeezes his eyes shut and inhales as deeply as he can manage. “Y’know, I’m, uh, still feeling a little worse for wear from last night. I should-” He doesn’t even finish the sentence, just points vaguely in the direction of his bedroom. 

Marisol’s relaxed ‘welcome home’ look turns concerned as she furrows her brow and holds the back of her hand to his forehead. “Are you okay? Do you want me to stay? I should probably stay over in case you need–” 

“Really,” he interjects, backing out of her hold, “I’ll be fine. Just need to sleep it off, I think. You should go. Home. To your place.” Smooth, Diaz. “I mean, because I’ll probably be restless, y’know?”

“I can sleep on the cou-”

“No,” he says more forcefully than intended. He should be grateful she wants to stay and take care of him. He should. He is. But not the couch. Not… Buck’s bed. His place. Their place.

“Oh.” She takes a step back and he should probably feel worse about the way she looks so dejected. “I, um, I understand. Talk tomorrow?”

“Yeah, talk tomorrow.” 

Tomorrow when I’ve had a chance to reset. When the twin alcohol and love hangovers have hopefully, finally died off. When I’m not seeing an endless mental projection reel of reminders like Or, y’know, you could have mine. Then why are you in hospital jail? Stay with me, Buck. Him choking on blood. You saved him. Abby. His fiancee is Abby. Showoff. My blood on him. Hey, Buck. You think you’re expendable. They’re all dead. I, uh, misunderstood the assignment. Three minutes and seventeen seconds. She sees me. It was a date. 

The front door clicks in the latch and he immediately turns the deadbolt, noting how his pulse drops to a debatably more normal range. He wants to settle on the couch, under the covers in his bed, both and neither all at the same time. In the end he migrates to the kitchen, which really shouldn’t surprise him. 

He runs his fingers over the backs of the chairs, circling around until he’s standing between the table and main counter. Am I one of the things that makes you sad? So now am I allowed to ask how you are? But you do eventually - you process it? 

Eddie turns toward the fridge, drawn to Shannon’s photo. He plucks it from under the magnet, running his thumb over the glossy print. 

“Can never quite get my timing down, can I?” He huffs out a wet chuckle. “God, I wish you were here right now. I could really use someone to talk to.” 

If it wasn’t after midnight he would probably drive himself to the cemetery to sit on the stone bench. To talk to someone that can’t talk back but would nonetheless tell him what an idiot he is. To unfairly water her grave with tears shed because he always thinks he has more time. You might have noticed I almost died. Again. And then I thought, this is it. This is the last day of my life. We’re all going to die alone. That’s what she said to me and Hen. 

Truthfully he’s not sure who he’s thinking of more — Shannon or Buck — as he slides to the floor, still clutching her picture, beginning to sob and shake as the words I love you so much flash like a neon reminder of his poor timing. Does it really matter? Because either way he’s missed his chance. 

But I guess it’s your mess now. 

Part 3 (Buck's POV)

[thewritingmagician2022]

Hey! I just found your blog and I've read through your work and I love it 💗 can I request MC trying to talk the brothers out of confessing to them?

(Perhaps taking place towards the end of season 1, beginning of season 2)

The brothers tell MC they love "LOVE" them and MC thinks they're joking and when they finally realize that the brothers are being serious MC's like "I thought you had better taste... are you sure you're not just infatuated with an idealized version of me that you created in your head? I mean you can do better, besides what would the people of Devildom think? Honestly, I didn't really get the impression you liked "liked" me in that way... I think you should think it through, maybe it's because I'm a novelty that your interested in me?" Or something along those lines? The point is that MC doubts their feelings and thinks they can do better.

Thank you so much! 💓

This is one of my favorite prompts because it’s so realistic and human and authentic. Which is terrifying too because I know I’m not gonna do it justice and I’m so freaking late on this. Back on topic - what makes us special to these brothers? Is it going to last? How long until we’re nothing new? (starts playing Taylor Swift in the background while I contemplate these)

Lucifer: Lucifer is vaguely insulted by the implication that you don’t trust him to know his own feelings. Yes, he understands your self doubt because he’s the high level demon Lucifer, the best of the best, and it makes sense that you would feel intimidated by that. But to doubt his feelings is to doubt Lucifer’s judgement and that won’t stand. He knows who’s worth his time and affection (no one) and he is not willing to open himself up to such a state of vulnerability without absolute certainty. So when he says he loves you, it’s true. He’s been around a long time and you’re the only person who has been able to capture his attention and heart in such a way; he isn’t worried at all about the feelings fading or being an illusion. He is under no delusions of who you really are - the person who doesn’t listen to him and runs wild with his brothers and causes so many problems in the Devildom and also the person who brought his family back together again and who reminded Lucifer of who he used to be and could still be. He will provide you reason after reason to back his point if you need it but he really feels he should only have to express his feelings once to make it clear.

Mammon: Mammon’s feelings are definitely hurt when you question him, even if it’s coming from a good place. He knows he’s not the most serious demon and maybe he’s a bit of a tsundere but he doesn’t understand how you can doubt him after everything you’ve been through together. He’s your first man, you’re his best-friend. Mammon is no stranger to romance and flirting over the millenia; demons, angels, witches, humans, etc. He’s got options, almost as many as Asmo, but you are the only person who has ever made him feel this good, this special and loved and in love.It breaks his heart a little every time you doubt his love for you. He might not be the best at talking about his feelings but he promises that he will spend the rest of his life showing you exactly how much he loves you for you, the same way you love him for him - the good and the bad and the weird. He is yours until the end of time, whether or not you’ll ever actually be his.

Levi: Of all the brothers, Levi is probably the most understanding of your doubts - not regarding him, that’s super crazy and he doesn’t understand how you could ever think he could do better than you. He does understand how self-doubt doesn’t always follow logic so he actually does well not taking it personally when you ask him those kinds of questions. He’s a man of many hyperfixations but they’re lasting. Have you seen him with his favorite series or Ruri-chan? This man is dedication personified. He’s already added you to his list of hyperfixations and, okay, maybe he does idealize you a little but he’s not as deluded as you think. He knows you have weird, messy bits of you - just like him - and he loves that so much about you because he’s able to actually be comfortable with you. He loves you and trusts you and respects you, which is more than he can say about anyone else in his life, and he is going to be your simp long after the series finale and he only hopes you’ll agree to let him stay in your life and worship you the way he knows you deserve.

Satan: That line of questioning makes him angry, shocking. He hates that you’re doubting him and his feelings. Satan is the intellectual of his brothers (if you ask him). He’s smart enough to know that there’s a difference between lust vsinfatuation vs love, and he’s considered it for a long time before he came forward with his feelings. He knows they’re genuine and lasting; he even avoided you in the beginning to avoid catching those kinds of feelings but it happened. Satan knows maybe he can romanticize things a little, like in the romance novels that he secretly loves, but he doesn’t think it’s to an unhealthy or unrealistic level - no more than a general man in love might do. He’ll sit and discuss all of this with you for as long as necessary, reigning in that anger that stems from feeling rejected, until you finally realize that he’s genuinely in love with you.

Asmo: Okay, so Asmo gets it, you know? He’s most beautiful being in three realms and charming and funny and sweet and basically everything good wrapped into one wonderful, sparkly, good smelling package. It would make sense that any human he pursued felt a little insecure about his feelings and their worthiness. But like…it’s you! You’ve seen Asmo at his worst - the days when he’s not as beautiful or kind, when he’s selfish and cruel and narcissistic - and you’ve stuck by his side the whole time. He is going to do the same for you. He sees your inner (and outer) beauty every time he looks at you and he falls a bit more in love with you every time. He knows what lust and infatuation feels like - he feels those every day and has them reflected right back at him tenfold. You are not those things. There’s still the passion and longing and affection but it’s so much warmer and steadier, like the warm sun that Asmo used to see in the human realm. You make him better (a hard task considering how close to perfection he is) and he won’t stand for you having any kind of doubts. He’s going to love you into loving yourself until you’re unable to doubt him or your relationship ever again.

Beel: That’s…not unfair to ask him. Beel may not be the smartest brother but he’s not as stupid as others make him out to be. He is the only brother who is going to hear you out and actually take the time to think about what you’re saying. You are the first human he’s ever had these kinds of feelings for, the first person actually. Beel is not used to romance at all and so he really needs to think about the line between romantic and platonic and familial; he doesn’t want to mess up the relationship by defining it incorrectly and breaking both of your hearts in the process. He doesn’t agree that you’re not good enough or interesting enough to inspire those kinds of feelings in him; he thinks you’re the most wonderful being he’s ever come across and anyone would be lucky to know you, let alone be loved by you like he is. It doesn’t take him too long to come the conclusion that no, he is in love with you. He would choose you over food or sports or even some of his brothers; hefeels empty without you in a way that even Belphie can’t compare to. He wants to kiss you and hold you and keep you around forever to share in his food and laughs and affection. Once Beel makes his decision, it’s completely solidified. Beel is a ride or die kind of man and you know you’ll never have to doubt him once he tells you he loves you.

Belphie: Belphie is torn. He understands why you may question his love for you. He did betray you and literally kill you in another universe; he would be more concerned if you weren’t skeptical about him. However, you feeling not good enough? Absolutely absurd. You need therapy ASAP. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to him and his family, even if you are a human. He never wanted these feelings; he loathed you at first but, over the months and different experiences you’ve shared, those feelings have grown to respect and trust and love. He couldn’t stop himself from loving you even if he tried (and he’s tried). He can understand your nerves but he knows down to his very soul that he loves you and that he will always love you. If you can’t accept his feelings, he’ll be the most accepting of it, especially because he doesn’t think he deserves you at all but he will never back down from his claims and he will continue expressing his love for you until the very end.

Diavolo: Of them all, Diavolo most understands why you may doubt the longevity of this relationship. He’s the demon lord. He’s the top choice of the realm, and everyone is scrutinizing him and his choices. He gets why you might be afraid of that and what comes with it. However, he wouldn’t be choosing you if he hadn’t thought long and hard about it to make sure his feelings for you withstood all of those doubts and fears. Diavolo does not lovely easily or lightly; he’s been offered companionship from more people than he could ever care to count but he’s never seriously considered any of them. You are the first and only person to have made him fall so completely head over heels in love that he’s able to get out of his own head which is so often filled with those some kinds of doubts and questions. He may not make every decision in his life with 100% confidence but this is one that he feels so sure of that he’s willing to stake his entire future and reputation on it. He loves you and he will do everything in his power to prove that he loves you and will stay by your side as you both rule the Devildom together, putting you at the top with him - exactly where you belong.

Barbatos: Barbatos is efficient, if nothing else in the world. Do you really think that he would pursue you if he wasn’t completely sure of his feelings and your future together? This is the man who has spent his entire life dedicated to Diavolo; he’s turned away from every and any meager temptation that’s come his way. No one has ever caught his eye like you have and certainly no one has ever made him question where his loyalty lays. Of course he is still Lord Diavolo’s servant and he serves the Devildom to the best of his ability but his heart isn’t in it the same way and that’s because he’s given it to you. You are what consumes his every thought and feeling; he’s broken the rules and used his powers for you, he’s gone against Diavolo for you, he is willing to do anything so long as he can be near you and make you happy. You don’t even have to accept his love or love him back, if you really can’t or won’t, but he’s seen you in every timeline and loves you in all of them. Nothing in this world or any of the others will change that and, if you give him the opportunity, he will dedicate his every moment to proving to you why you can put your full faith in him. After all, Barbatos has never failed at an assignment before.

Solomon: Solomon can understand insecurity on your end. It’s hard to consider yourself special enough to last for someone who has seen everything. Solomon has lived thousands of years, visited the three realms, love and lost time and time again. It’s hard to imagine that you’re anything more than the next shiny toy he’s got his eye on. For someone who can never die, what is this love other than a small blip on his radar one day? Solomon can’t stop you from feeling that way because, in a way, it’s true. You can’t be a permanent fixture in his life because you’re human but he can certainly be one in your life. Solomon would argue that he’s seen so many people and places over the millenia and he has lived long enough to know himself completely, and he knows that he loves you. He knows that no matter what happens or changes, his feelings for you will never waver. He will carry his love for you until the ends of time itself. It’s his curse to bear and the only thing that would make it bearable is being able to love you directly for as long as he’s given the chance.

Simeon: Simeon is the most patient and sympathetic as you ask him these questions. He would never invalidate your fears but he will confront them with you and break them down and banish them. Simeon is an angel who has watched over humanity for as long as they’ve been around. He has seen the best of the best and the worst of worst and still he’s never been tempted to turn away from his Father for one. At first, he could have explained it as curiosity and then fondness but it blossomed into the deep, unwavering love that he feels for you now. He sees your flaws and humanity and loves you all the more for it. You have become the new object of his worship and affection; he would fall from grace if it meant being able to hold you in his arms and shower you in the love he so truly believes you deserve. He will remind you every day of why you deserve to be happy and loved; he will tell you everything he loves about you from your smile to your kind heart to your most selfish desires. So, please, just put the same faith in him and his feelings that he puts in you and let him love you.

[lainiespicewrites]

I just want to feel safe - Walter Marshall fanfic. Part 1?

Okay. Preface. This story has mentions of sexual assault. This is a personal story. But I've changed a lot of the names and some of the actual story to fit the fic. I think that I've decided this is going to be a series. It's taken a lot out of me writing this but. I really love Walter and I can see this relationship growing into something more than what is here. I also think that from a healing standpoint, I'm gonna write the story I never gave myself the chance to have. Anyway. That's enough from me. I'll let you guys read the story now. I know this is a heavy topic and situation but I'm still always open to comments and feedback. Thank you guys for the support in posting this <3

Plot: OFC reports assault after 2 years and Detective Walter Marshall is assigned to her case. He will stop at nothing to help her feel safe again.

Warnings: Panic attacks, mentions of sexual assault (retelling the story of what happened.)

Unbeta'd Mistakes are totally my own and I own that. This might be a mess because honestly I was super emotional writing this but it felt good to get it all down.

Please don't share without crediting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m not sure what I expected a police station to be like. Frankly I’d never really imagined myself in one. Kind of funny how things can change like that. All of a sudden you’re doing things you’d never imagine. That’s how I ended up here. In this strangely familiar looking police station. I guess maybe that’s the one thing movies and Tv got right. Police stations for the most part look exactly the same. This whole night started from a list of  “Fuck it why not’s” that spiraled out of control. But that explanation alone was not enough to help the officer help me. I looked back at the petite woman in front of me. I’m sure she was a good police officer. I wasn't trying to doubt her skill. But her overly sympathetic nature and deer in the headlights look on her face was making me feel worse. 

“I know this is hard.” She spoke softly, placing her hand over mine on the table. She didn’t know. She had no idea what this was like. Being attacked like this. Letting yourself become vulnerable because ‘why not’ I’d known those boys my entire life. When my brother invited me out for drinks with his friends, I didn’t have a reason not to trust them. Not to trust… him. My brother didn’t know. He couldn’t have known. He was betrayed too. “But I need you to tell me what you remember, what happened to you, so we can help you.” I looked around again At the empty gray walls. Out the window into the dark cloudy night sky. It must be almost midnight now. Anywhere but at the woman in front of me. What did she say her name was? Rachel? I focused on the empty desk chair behind her when I finally spoke. 

“It doesn’t matter. I remember all of it. Every detail. But we have no case.” I muttered I looked down playing with my hands again. 

“Alayna,” She said my name softly. I met her eyes again for the first time since we sat at her desk. “You don’t know that. You did the right thing coming here and reporting it. I need you to talk to me.” She pleaded with me. She didn’t understand. 

“No,” I said again. “I do know.” 

“How do you know we can’t help you?” She asked her eyes boring into mine. I know she wants to help. I know that but I just don’t see how they  can. not after it’s been so long. 

“There’s no evidence.” I said. 

“Sweetheart, with all due respect you aren’t a police officer we may be able to find something you wouldn’t think to look…”

“It was two years ago.” Rachel paused then. She took a deep breath and sat back in her chair. 

“2 years ago?” she repeated. I nodded. She let out a soft sigh. “Sweetie, Why did you wait so long to tell somebody?” She asked. This felt more manageable. This I at least knew the answer for. It was logical. It made sense. Well it doesn’t really make much sense but when you’re bargaining with yourself it does. 

“I didn’t think it would matter. I’m still not sure it does.” I said. I swallowed hard. Now or never Alayna. You didn’t walk 3 miles to the police station, in the cold, after a panic attack to not give yourself some kind of peace. I let out a long breath and started again but then the door of the squadroom opened. A tall figure walked in. I couldn’t make out much of him at first. Just that he was very tall, 6,1 or something and had a full beard. He was wearing a heavy winter coat and beanie. I tensed a little when  I watched him walk from the entrance to the desk next to Rachel’s. He shrugged off his coat revealing a thick gray sweater. He draped his coat over his chair and pulled off his beanie. His hair was a mess of dark curls. As soft and cozy as he should have looked…Something still felt intimidating about him. Maybe it was because he hadn’t spoken a word since he’d walked in the room. None of us had actually. 

“Alayna,” Rachel said my name, getting my attention and finally breaking the silence. “This is detective Walter Marshall. He’s going to be working on your case.” That’s right. When I came in to report, the officer on duty at the station had to attend to a call. When I told them I wanted to report an assault, they told me that they’re psychiatrist was still in the office.  I  could talk to her until one of the detectives was available. I think they were afraid if they told me to come back later… I wouldn’t. They were probably right. Although I’m not quite sure if it would be because I’d lost my nerve or dying of hypothermia on the walk home.  Rachel wasn’t even a detective. Was I really that out of it? Why didn’t I remember that until now?

“Okay,” was all I managed to say. 

“I can stay,” she said. I'm not sure if it was for me or the detective. Maybe both. “If you’re more comfortable. If it’s easier for you. Ya know?” she asked. I shook my head and I watched as the detective…Walter, put his hand on her shoulder. 

“Go home, it's been a long day,” he told her. His voice was deep but he spoke softly. And surprisingly he had an English accent. “We’ll manage,”  his eyes were tired and heavy when they met mine. He offered a gentle smile. I nodded. 

“You’re sure?” She asked. 

“I don’t want to keep you Rachel. I can talk to the detective.” I said. She nodded. 

“Okay, wait right here, just a moment while I catch him up okay? And then you two will get started.”  I gave her a slight nod and just stared out the window again. Rachel and the detective went off into a side office somewhere to discuss what I’d already mentioned. This was sure to be quick now. As soon as she tells him how long it’s been, he’ll dismiss me. This was so stupid. I’d kept this to myself for this long. I knew this was a bad idea. Just as I had convinced myself to get up and leave the office door opened again. 

“Thank you,” Walter’s voice said from across the room. “Get home safe.” he told Rachel as she waved goodbye. I gave her a small wave. I sat back in the chair trying to relax. But I knew I couldn’t. He came back over to the desk leaning his hip against it, crossing one foot over the other. “Are you comfortable out here or would you like to talk in my office?” He asked. “There aren’t too many people still around this late but, it would offer a bit more privacy than the open squadroom. It’s up to you.” He stated. I thought about it for a moment. Finally, I  pulled my eyes from the window to look up at him. 

“I think I’d feel better with a little more privacy,” I said. He gave me a sympathetic smile. 

I stood up from my spot next to the desk.  Then he led me out of the squadroom and down the hall to a small office. There wasn’t much, just a large desk with nothing but a computer and a travel coffee mug on it. The walls were bare other than a standard wall clock. He motioned for me to take a 

seat in one of the chairs in front of his desk as he shut the door behind us. He circled around to the other side of the desk, setting a file down and taking a seat across from me. 

“You’re reporting  an assault, is that right?” He asked. I nodded. 

“Yes, not a recent one. I’m sure Rachel informed you.” I said. I felt so ashamed of myself. I was wasting his time. Detective Marshall’s eyes met mine. I didn’t find the same overly sympathetic look in his eyes like I did with Rachel. He wasn’t pitying me. He wasn’t trying to psychoanalyze  me. At the same time, it wasn’t cruel or harsh. Not even annoyed. Just open. 

“She did,” he spoke after a brief pause. “But I’d like to hear the information from you myself. If that's alright with you?” He questioned. I swallowed hard. I leaned forward and folded my hands on the desk. 

“I can do that.” My voice shook when I spoke. “Will I need to write a witness statement too?” I asked him. Telling this story once was going to be hard enough. Seeing it written on paper was going to be gut wrenching. 

“Let’s just get through this conversation first. We’ll talk about the rest later, "he said. I nodded. He sat with his forearms leaning on the desk and his hands folded together. He pursed his lips into a tight small smile and nodded toward me. “Whenever you’re ready.” He stated. I swallowed hard. Of course it didn’t necessarily mean that. It was after midnight now. This guy probably wanted to get home. I had to get this out. 

“November 12th, or well 13th I guess. It was around 1:30 or 2am so the 13th. My brother, his friends and I had gone out for his birthday. It wasn’t his birthday though, we had to wait until the weekend to celebrate because it fell during the week.” I was rambling. He needed details. I need to stop rambling. “Uh anyway, We were at a bar, earlier that night on the 12th, but I got kind of tired. The boys were picking on me for being a lightweight and leaving early. I left the bar at 11, got home at like 11:15. I went right to bed. I was really tired. The boys were all gonna come back to the house when they were done at the bar. I woke up to the bedroom door bursting open at like 1 am and someone yelling my name. I screamed. It was my brother's friend. Um.” I paused for a second, starting to feel uncomfortable. Did I have to describe it exactly? What did I have to say? But Walter spoke, easing the tension a bit. 

“And what’s his name?” He asked me. 

“His name is Justin, uh Justin Veach.” I responded. Walter nodded for me to continue as he wrote a note in his folder. He put the pen down and looked up at me again letting me know he was listening. 

“Uh He said, ‘It’s okay! Don’t freak out, it's just me! We’re back, come hang out with us!’ Then he came over to my bed and kissed my face which was weird but he was an affectionate guy and well they were still drunk. I didn’t think much of it. He’d known me since I was a baby. He and my brother had been best friends since kindergarten. They were ten years older than me and he watched me grow up.” I shuttered a little thinking about it. “Um so after that he left. After telling me to come down stairs to talk with them again. And I did. We sat in the kitchen. I just sat there sleepy and confused. The boys were talking and eating drunk snacks or whatever,” I kind of chuckled a little. “It was nice. But we were talking about how it’s so funny that I’m old enough to go drink with them now. And Justin kept making these comments about remembering when I was born and that I was such a beautiful baby. It seemed so weird. But looking back. He knew. He knew what he was planning on doing…. We all said we were gonna go to bed. Blake, my brother, told Justin he could sleep on the couch or they could share his bed or whatever. But Justin was coming up the stairs with us and he said ‘I wanna cuddle’ to me, and he was still drunk and I thought he was joking so I laughed it off and said ‘yeah sure’ I let him lay in my bed. But I put myself on the inside. I thought he was just gonna lay there a minute and like it would be a joke. Blake did too. He asked if I was okay before he went to his room. Because he was still kinda drunk and ready to crash. I said. I was. But Justin didn’t just lay  there. He took off his pants before he got into the bed so he was just in boxers and his shirt. And,”

 I was shaking. I couldn’t do this anymore. I was gonna cry. I didn’t know this man. He was surely annoyed by me and. God he probably thought I was lying. That’s what Justin would tell him. When he confronts him. That I’m lying. Or maybe that's what I wanted. This was so stupid  I shouldn’t have come here. I swallowed hard again. I looked back up at walter. I could feel the tears in my eyes. 

“Take your time.” He said softly. “Is this when he hurt you?” He asked.

“I can’t,” my voice was trembling now. “I’m sorry I’ve wasted your time, I can’t do this.” I sobbed. I stood up to leave his office. Walter stood and walked to the other side of the desk gently reaching out and putting his hand on my shoulder. “There’s nothing you can do, I know that. I wasted your time detective. I’m so sorry.”

“Hold on,” Walter’s voice was low. “Sit back down, and breathe for a moment. If anything else I can’t let you walk out of here and drive home in this state.” I looked at his face. He was concerned. Worried about me. About my safety. I sat back down in the chair. I took a deep breath trying to compose myself again. But I couldn’t seem to catch my breath. “It’s okay, You’re safe in here. I’m going to do everything I can to help you Alayna.” Detective Marshall said, crouching down in front of me to meet my eyes again. I nodded. “Do you think you can keep going?” he asked. I nodded again. He stood and leaned on the edge of his desk. His proximity seemed to help keep my calm. I don’t know what was so different between him and talking with Rachel. But when he said he could help, I believed him. Maybe it was the sheer size of this man. Or the gun on his hip. Or maybe there was something in his aura or some other bullshit I didn’t understand that was protective and made me trust him. Fuck maybe I’d gone to far to turn back now and I was too emotionally exhausted not to lean on anyone who would listen. Whatever it was, I continued. 

“At first I was just laying next to him. Like I was saying, I thought it was a joke. But he wrapped his arm around me to make me cuddle him.. I guess. He started rubbing my back. I froze up. I started to recognize that his hand was lingering where it shouldn’t but I couldn’t say anything. And this guy he’s .. he’s huge. I mean like 6 foot and like 400 lbs when he rolled over on to me and started touching me I felt paralyzed I couldn’t move but… I couldn’t have pushed him off if I’d tried. I just felt hopeless. That’s when everything happened.” I sniffled softly. I hiccuuped catching my breath. “It was like I was outside of myself watching it all happen…I .. I don’t know if that makes sense? But I couldn’t do anything. All I could do was lay there. I don’t remember if I said no. But,

“You didn’t consent. That’s no. This was not your fault. You’ve already tried to blame yourself. It’s a really common thing, unfortunately, that you can’t react. But that doesn’t mean that you let it happen. Or that you wanted it to happen.”  Walter said softly. I nodded at the ground. 

“Afterward he, he fell asleep and I showered, I had to get rid of the feeling of him. I slept on the couch, Well I tried to. The next morning he was came down and sat with  all of us like nothing had happened. I had mentioned that my back had hurt the night before. And he moved closer to me and rubbed it for me. I couldn’t move. I didn’t react…again. I just. I don’t know. All I could think was, I didn’t wanna start anything. But I also couldn’t make sense of what happened. When he left I changed the sheets. I threw them away actually. My clothes were washed. But eventually I couldn’t look at them anymore. I threw them away too.”

“Why do you think it took you so long to say anything?” Walter asked me. 

“I wasn’t even sure it happened. I wasn’t sure I could call it what it was. I mean he was drunk, I just… Just laid there. It took me over a week to tell my best friend. But It took almost 4 months after talking it out with her and one of my other friends for me to face it and call it what it was. But I still can’t say it.”

“And why are you here now? What made you report it?” He raised an eyebrow. I took a deep breath. This has been eating at me so long but. This month. This 2 year “anniversary.” If you could call it that. Has been terrorizing me. 

“It’s all I could think about the last couple of weeks. I started having nightmares. Seeing him in my dreams. Before when I dreamt about it, I always got away. Someone always stopped him. But now. Now I’m trapped all overagain. It happened in my childhood home. In the room I grew up in. I’ve moved out since then. I live alone. He doesn’t even live in that town anymore. He lives 3 hours away from me. The chances that I’ll run into him are slim. And I don’t have any 

reminders of it anymore. But Sometimes if I wake up and I’m laying next to the wall it sends me into a panic. If I see someone with a similar body type or with a similar voice it shut down. He’s over a 100 miles away. But I don’t feel safe. I’m losing my mind! I’m getting up to check the lock on the door like 10 times before I can go to sleep. What if he just walks in like he did then. He doesn’t even know where I live. But I’ve never confronted him. And he has a wife! And Kids. He did when he did this to me. I can’t get over that. She needs to know but … I don’t, I don’t know what to do! That’s why I’m here, I had another panic attack, I didn’t trust myself to drive. So I walked. ” I was in tears again. He must think I’m so weak. So stupid. What an idiotic thing to do. 

“I understand, and first I want to say, I’m sorry that you went had to experience that. It’s a good you were able to tell your friends, but you were seemingly dealing with this alone for a long time. I’m sure that’s taken a toll on you. The next thing I need to ask you, is what you want to do now that you’ve told me.” I took in his words. He was right. This has been so heavy. And I’ve carried it alone for so long. But now that I’m here I never thought there would be options. 

“What can we even do? It’s been so long?” I asked. 

“Not too long though, if you want to press charges, and see him convited for this, that’s still on the table. If that’s what you want to do then yes, I do need you to write a witness statement. There will be a lot of other legal things that need to be done and signed. Then we can start an investigation. I know you think there isn’t anything here. But well do you trust me?” He asked. Did I? I didn’t know him. But Rachel seemed to. And he had his own office. That must mean he’s some high status detective right? And there was just something about him. Why did he feel so safe. It wasn’t the gun. It was. It was him. I did trust him. 

“I do,” I spoke finally. 

“I’ve put people away, on much less than what you’ve given me tonight.” He said. That felt good. To know he could lose everything. Like he made me lose my sense of security. But then my stomach dropped. 

“W-would I have to see him?” I asked meekly. 

“In court yes, possibly in a line up. But definitely in court. We would need your testimoney,”

“I- I don’t know if I can do that, I don’t know if I can face him.” I shook again. 

“There will be officers in the court. You won’t be near him. He won’t be able to get to you.” 

“Will you be there?” I asked suddenly. 

“If you’d like, yes, I can be there.” He said giving me a soft smile. 

“Can I think about it?” I asked meeting his eyes again. 

“Of course,” He stood and walked back to the other side of his desk. “It’s been a long night emotionally for you, if you’re ready tomorrow to make a decision you can come back in the morning.” He said typing a something quickly on his computer. “If you’ll wait just a few minutes I can gladly give you a ride home. It’s far too cold for you to walk, even it’s a block away.” He offered. I nodded. 

“Thank you, I appreciate that. It’s, well its actually 3 miles.” I stated biting my lip awkwardly. He let out a soft chuckle and smiled. 

“Well, I surely can’t let you walk that far this late. I’ll get you home safe.” He said. He finished typing whatever it was he was doing on his computer. Then he locked the file in his desk. He stood and gestured for me to lead out of the office. He turned the light off and locked it behind him. Oh God I’d kept him after his shift. 

“I’m sorry for keeping you,” 

“Oh, no don’t appologize, this is common practice for me. This is honestly the earliest I’ve left in weeks.” He said as we walked back to the squadroom. He grabbed his coat from the desk chair. “Do you have everything?” He asked. I nodded. 

He led us out of the station and to his truck in the parking lot. Once we were settled in, I gave him my address so he could drive me home. I watched out the window as he drove down the familiar streets. The drive was silent. The closer we got the more I got this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Back home. Back home to be alone again. I was so scared. What if he knew where I lived. I didn’t feel safe. It wasn’t long before the detective was pulling up in front of my building. 

“Thank you,” I spoke breaking the silence for the first time since we’d left the police station. 

“Of course,” He reached into his pocket pulling out a business card. “Take the night and decide what you’d like to do.” He said and then handed me the card. “That’s my cellphone number. If there’s anything else you need call…”

“Would you come in?” I cringed the second the words left my mouth. 

“I, I can search the place, If you’d like. If it would make you more comfortable.” He offered. 

“I mean, could you…” I can’t believe I was asking this, “Stay?” the word came out barely above a whisper. I sighed. I turned toward the window squeezing my eyes shut. “I’m sorry that was stupid, You probably have a wife, and a family to get home to. That was so inconsiderate. I just. I was afraid and I… I’ll just go.” I opened the door. 

“You don’t feel safe, do you?” He asked. I paused and shook my head. I didn’t. I hadn’t for weeks. But I couldn’t ask this guy to give up his time for me. 

“I don’t but, It’s okay. It’s just that there’s only one deadbolt lock on the door. And I don’t know sometimes that doesn’t feel like enough. And I can’t seem to get any sleep. But that’s not up to you. I have to figure this out. You’ve done so much to help me already detective.” I rambled. Walter let out a long breath. 

“You’ve got a lot on your mind right now and a lot to consider.” He said. “I’m sure the lack of sleep isn’t helping at all, You could use a good nights rest.”  He stated. 

“But it’s not you’re responsibility and I don’t want to take you away from your family.” I said. 

“I, well I live alone actually.” He bit his lip awkwardly “Why don’t you stay with me for the night? I’ve got some work to catch up on anyway. I probably won’t be getting much sleep. You wouldnt’t be putting me out.”

“Are you sure?” I asked raising an eyebrow. I’d given this poor guy enough trouble. And he was being so kind. Walter nodded. Honestly. The way I was feeling I didn’t have the energy to consider it any longer. I shut the door and walter put the truck in drive. 

It was almost 2 am when we walked into his house. 

“I can just sleep on the couch I, I really don’t want to be any trouble.” 

“You aren’t,” He assured me. “And please, you can sleep in the bedroom, I rarely sleep there anyway. It’d be nice to know someones getting use out of it.” He smiled. I nodded and he showed me to the room and left me to get comfortable. He said he’d be down stairs likely working in his office if I needed anything. I took in the room everything seemed to be a dark navy color the comforter, the curtains the sheets. I chuckled to myself. That made sense for him. 

I slipped off my shoes and slid under the covers. This should feel strange. And it did. But I was safe. And I hadn’t felt that way in a while. I let that feeling take over as I tried to fall asleep. But my mind started to wander again. What if he found out I reported it. What would happen. Or What would he do when they arrested him. What would he say about me. Would he say I wanted it. Tell them I didn’t push them away. Try to convince them that I was lying somehow? He was good at that. And he had a friend from college that was a lawyer. Surely he already had a story. Maybe he’d been prepared since it had happened. I started to shake again. I could feel my heart rate speeding up. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t hear the footsteps up the stairs. I didn’t see him come in. I didn’t even realize that I’d started  to cry again until I noticed he was next to me saying my name. 

“Alayna. Alayna. It’s okay. You’re okay. Take a deep breath.” He soothed.

“I can’t, I can’t… what if he tries to come after me. What if.. What if he tells them… what if tries to tell them I wanted him to…I don’t think I can do this.” I sobbed. Walter wrapped an arm around my shoulder. 

“He can’t get to you. We’ll be sure of that. All that matters, is that you’ve told us the truth. As long as you have, and as long as you confirm that in court. No matter what he says or what anyone believes, it won’t matter. I want to help you. I want you to feel safe again. I think the only way we can do that. Is to put this guy away. I’m not gonna stop until we do. I won’t let him hurt you again.”  He said.  Pulling me closer to him. 

“Do you have a sister?” I asked after a brief pause sniffling softly. 

“No,” He shook his head and leaning back against the headboard letting me rest my head against his shoulder. “But I have a daughter.” He said. 

“Is that why you do what you do?” I asked. He smiled. But he was quite for a moment. 

“Not at first. When I was younger and I first started out, it was just something that I liked. Something I was good at. But when my exwife and I had our daughter, a lot of that changed. It became personal. To an unhealthy point honestly.” He chuckled at himself. “I guess to my own detriment.”

“Is that why you’re still working even though you clocked out hours ago? You could use some good sleep too detective.” I stated. Starting to relax. 

“I haven’t slept well in ages,” He said. “Focusing on the job, oddly enough, keeps my mind off everything else. There are some horrible people in this world. I don’t have to explain that to you. I get so in my own head about how, it could be her. If I spend anymore time considering the what ifs I’d keep her locked in a tower,” He chuckled. 

“I understand that. But surely, If she was raised by you, she’s a smart girl. But.. well I guess,” I sighed. “Nevermind.” Walter squeezed my shoulder softly. 

“Thank you, I know what you mean.” He smiled sympathetically. 

“I’m going to do it.” I said suddenly. “Press charges, I mean. You’re right. Knowing can still get to me. Knowing he’s out there. That’s what’s causing me all this stress and …I can’t keep going on like this.” I stated. 

“I can take you back to the station tomorrow.”

“Thank you,” I whispered. “Walter?” I asked nervously biting my lip. 

“Yeah?” 

“Will you stay here? I don’t know what it is I just feel.. Safer when you’re here.” I blushed softly. Walter adjusted so that he was lying on the bed. I moved and laid my head on the pillow. 

“Get some sleep darling. I’ll be right here.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay that was part one❤️ let me know how you’re feeling about this guys!

Tag list: @summersong69 @carrie80reads @caramariehurst @redheadrouge @warriormirkwood @gummydummy19 @deandoesthingstome @shellyshellshell @mary-ann84 @starfirewildheart @foxyjwls007 @alwayzmsbehavn @toooldforobsessions@mishkatelwarriorgoddess @henryownsme @identity2212

Part 2: