#but at the live conference hmmmm

[ham-and-cheese-studios]

LONG RANT ABOUT MORMON CONFERENCE FROM A NEVERMO

Went on a rabbit hole on the mormon conference, something I've never heard about before (I grew up in a mostly mormon small town)

First I went through the #exmo tag and it was sad to see so many people forced to listen to bullshit spewed by pathetic, fragile, old men but also inspiring to see exmos retaliate and call out that bullshit for what it is. I wish the very best to any and all apostates to they can make a life that's actually theirs.

Then I went through the #tumblrstake tag and some of the shit I read reminded me of being back in high school, listening to all the popular mormon kids gush and gasm about what the church was doing. Like hooray we're building more temples because that's what we should be doing with our ill-gotten money instead of HMMMM I DUNNO DONATING TO CHARITY OR SOME SHIT?!!

But then it became both funny and concerning when I saw some queer mormons confused about why the bigwigs weren't using they/them pronouns, why they weren't affirming lgbt identities, etc. My kneejerk reaction to this was "uh cuz they don't fucking care lmao" but then it reminded me of a post made by a queer exmo that basically gave hope that queermos would realize there's a bigger, happier life outside of the church.... which there is! Like what life would you rather choose: a life where you have to mask your identity and act like you'll be accepted by a religion that has a clear history of bigotry? Or a life where you don't have to hide anything and be the rawest you you can be, not the one everybody else wants you to be?

But then there's the kicker: choice. It's easy for an outsider to be like "omg why don't they just leave lol", and I used to be that kind of person too. But now I realize that not too many people have that choice, hence the whole PIMO thing. The mormon cult isn't something you just leave. It would be so nice if it was easy for the religiously prosecuted TO leave like "oh this church isn't gonna allow a gay wedding, fuck em" or "oh this church believes my skin color is dark because God cursed me that way".

So I'll say it again that I'm proud of the exmos and pimos for escaping and slowly undoing years of brainwashing and manipulation. This mormiecon can suck a fart out of a skunks asshole. And to those questioning their faith in this cult and are struggling, keep questioning. Keep asking questions. You are not a lamb, you're a fucking human being and I wish you the best of luck on regaining your independence.

Anyway, I'm gonna go make some shitty memes about the stuff I read today cause humor is my godawful coping mechanism for living in a small town full of shitty mormons.

[midnightshiftshenanigans]

*sees the end of Robin Lives*

Hmmmm..

Anyways, Knightfam headcanons 🫶

Natalia and Jason have their own little book club and will sometimes fall asleep together while reading

Charles sometimes sneaks Jason candy and other treats when Natalia isn't looking

Family trips to museums and the planetarium

Matching formal wear

Charles and Natalia always attend parent-teacher conferences

Natalia taught Jason how to apply eyeliner

Jason gets candy cigars so he can imitate Charles

That's all I got for now 😔🖤

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

hmmmm 🔥for ........ astronomy >:b

i had an incredibly, incredibly bad time in college with my department, but it is still one of the great griefs of my life that i cannot do the thing i trained for because i cannot make a living doing it. not even a comfortable living. any sort of living. if you don’t have money and a very supportive family who’s willing to really step up to support you through the unpaid internships and grad school and like three or four nonexistent-pay postdocs you can’t do astronomy in a professional manner. as much as i love scicomm i got really sidelined into it bc of being a woman at UMass. before i switched advisors my old advisor was really agitating for me to switch into the school of education.

and on top of that the field fucking hates women. nearly every woman in astro i know in real life has been sexually assaulted by a fellow student or professor at their school or at a conference. for every grad student i know, i know a least a dozen girls who switched majors in undergrad bc this shit isn’t fucking worth it.

i couldn’t ever go to grad school anyway bc i don’t have any publications or relevant internships and my grades were shit, but astro isn’t worth being fucking miserable for the rest of my life and i genuinely believe the academic field needs to be burnt to the ground and we need to start over. it is genuinely difficult for me to engage with astronomy now. it’s very raw and bitter at the same time. fortunately this is one of the fields where you can actually contribute to the scientific body of research as some guy with a telescope in your backyard (but again highly dependent on what kind of money you can drop on your telescope and backyard)

[mermaidsirennikita]

23- What is your longest friendship?

11- What were your highs and lows for this last month?

19- A time you told a lie

33- What's a pet peeve you have?

35- What kind of first impression do you think you make on people?

23. What is your longest friendship?

Hmmm, I have one friend from high school that I still keep in touch with, even if we aren't as close... My closest SUPER TIGHT friendships in ~real life are with two former coworkers I met at the same time. We live in different cities (only like an hour apart tho) and have very different lifestyles (they're moms, I'm not) so we have to really stretch to make it work but we do.

And my longest-lasting friendship with someone I met online is Amaya :)

11. What were your highs and lows for this last month?

Hmmmm.... My low was an anxiety attack I had when I was sure that I had a brain tumor because of vision issues I've been having (going to the eye doctor on Tuesday, but based on the fact that the issues are relatively minor and I have zero brain tumor symptoms and everyone in my family wears glasses... probably not a brain tumor? Let's hope?) and my high was a really fun work opportunity thingy I'm doing now.

19. A time you told a lie.

Lmao I told people in my life that I was going to NYC for a conference when in fact I was going to NYC because I was having a bit of a Restless Crisis and just needed to be away. I don't know why I told that lie; I have a hard time doing things Just For Me, there always has to be a justification.

33. What's a pet peeve you have?

I hate it when people blame their assholery on mental illness--and I say this as someone who has a srs (if not treated and regulated) one. It's a contributing factor; it's not an excuse.

35. What kind of first impression do you make on people?

I think that, depending on the setting, I can either come off as aloof and (I have been told) intimidating or MUCH more extroverted than I actually am, a chattery exuberant girly girl. I guess that's the bipolar energy lmao

[nalyra-dreaming]



I have a pretty crazy theory, stay with me. What if it was Marius who changed Daniel's memories? I was thinking about how the dynamic between him and show Daniel will differ from the books and I just don't see them living together with who Daniel has become over the years. I'm also pretty sure that Armand's suicide attempt and Daniel's crazyness will play out in flashbacks, and that Eric's Daniel won't ever go into full on shut down if turned. So the only time I see him going to Marius is when he is still a human. What if writers took the page from Sybelle and Benji turning behind Armand's back and did the same with him setting poor struggling Daniel free? It will also explain why Armand is in touch with Marius (if the painting is an indicator of that), and why he could want to lure Daniel back (I mean he would either way, but you know, if it wasn't his decision in the first place it could be worse).

Hmmmm, interesting!

It would definitely hit the level of betrayal I think, though I am not so sure if it is really Armand luring Daniel back - that said, he is protecting himself emotionally, so it might not matter much if it is Louis or Marius or whoever.

It would be an interesting twist indeed to have young(er) Daniel search for and find Marius, a parallel to what Lestat did, too... and we know how much these writers like parallels, right :)

So, yeah, that would be an immensely interesting way to bring in Marius, indeed... and should that come close to what's happened, then I guess that was Marius on the phone, too - which makes sense, since he and Armand cannot confer privately directly.

[the-marron]

🍌🫐😘

🥰🥰🥰

(yeah, I know, I am supposed to be sleeping, I am trying my best)

🫐 What’s your favorite underrated thing in your fandom? (A ship that only you seem to write for, a character there’s almost no fics about, a trope that criminally hasn’t been written yet, etc.)

Hahahaha, Luolin would be my answer a few months ago, but it got more popular and I am living for it 💕💕💕

I actually am with Vera on this one - canon is very often underrated and so many things that are *wonderful* about it do not appear in fics at all. As for the ship only I write for... Jing Ran/Jiang Yang, because really, it's as angsty as they come, just the way I like them.

🍌 what's your favourite joke/pun?

Arghhh, that's hard - the funniest bits I've ever written are in our joint projects and I cannot remember if they are mine or not. There is like, the entirety of the Mummy au to consider, and some scenes there are gold.

Hmmmm... Maybe the 'said with the confidence of a man whose ego required another room in the hotel' line from the Weilan conference fic? Idk, I think it encompasses my opinions of some professors really well 🤣

Thank you for the ask!

[staravya]

hmmmm thinking ab au where the altered reality has just a liiiiittle more defense, just a liiiiiiiiittle more controlling.

as in. akechi doesn't pull joker aside to confer about the abnormalities. instead, he pulls him aside to smile and ask if he's okay bc he looked pale and in need of fresh air. declawed. fangs filed down. nothing but that mask of a prince. sumi's eyes glaze over the palace like everyone else, and she doesnt call. joker walks back alone and struggling to keep his head above the water. the days tick past. he's lonelier than he's ever been.

BUT. akechi keeps dropping by. even though his stupid mask grates and annoys he just wont leave joker alone. and theres something about the way he talks over joker asking him to stop and something about the way some words twist out of his mouth is. suspicious.

pov switch to akechi, mentally screaming his head off bc hes living his worst nightmare being awake in a body that randomly betrays him at the worst moments. someone! is! controlling! him! and it SUCKS! tbh this whole thing is an excuse to have him play mental chess against reality to slip out words and warnings through the strings that hold him.

[sportsminorityreport]

Stanford, Cal, and SMU buy their way into the ACC.

OK, this may have been a forgone conclusion for most who follow college sports but I am legitimately shocked that this happened.

Now don't read anything into the headline --- I know a lot of people are losing their damned minds over this because SMU, which today has no athletic argument for inclusion, legit straight up bought their way in ....but see that's the thing. I am from Dallas and I LOVE that they did that. Who but SMU COULD have the brass to do that? As a DFW resident I am proud as shit of them.

Look, SMU donors have the money to allow SMU to financially compete with anyone. They want SMU to be fantastic at football again. SMU is located in the premiere football and basketball talent hotbed in the country. SMU invented pay for play. This is SMU's world ... We are just living in it. SMU playing an ACC schedule in basketball pushes them ahead of TCU in basketball recruiting. I think they will be a bubble tourney team each year, but I HOPE they will seriously invest in basketball. (I don't think they will, but they did hire Larry Brown a while back so....maybe?)

Football is not as promising. Most of SMU's conference schedule is frankly not exciting to metroplex viewers, but that's partly because SMU has just been OK recently, not great. But they just jumped from on par with Rice, UNT, UTSA, in recruiting and just ahead of UTEP and Texas State and Sam Houston to on par with TCU, Texas Tech, Baylor, and Oklahoma State.

Look the ACC doesn't suck in football, but it is a conference where most of the schools are not deep. This means that if you just take care of business in recruiting and hire a good coach, you should have years where you are in the title hunt fairly frequently.

What I am saying is that SMU is going to be average in both revenue sports in the ACC in this 9 year window.

Will Cal and Stanford? HMMMM.... I truly don't know. I THINK Stanford is going to do shockingly well. Stanford recruits good talent in basketball but can't seem to make it work and they frequently lose that talent after a year or two. I think being in a SIGNIFICANTLY better basketball conference is going to help get some of those talents to stick around. I would not be surprised to see them become an annual tourney team and their attendance to double. An ACC basketball schedule is sexy.

And in football I think this actually works for them. Stanford is a national brand. They had locked themselves into believing that a conference with a tiny footprint was ideal for them. That could not be further from the truth.

Now they can walk into any egghead football player's home in the eastern 2/3 of the US and say, "How would you like a free ride to Stanford AND to have a couple games a year your parents can see?"

Stanford is going to recruit better.

Stanford (and Cal) now have a crazy strong home field advantage in conference. Lets assume a base starting point to Stanford winning all their conference home games (except the occasional Clemson game) and losing all of the conference away games except Cal and SMU.

Now lets think about this. Lets guess Stanford tries to lock in a warm up with some local FCS like UC Davis or Sac State for recruiting. Then maybe they play San Jose State. OK. Maybe UCLA for LA exposure. (I think the former PAC Big Ten schools are all going to "Nebraska" --- fall off the cliff recruiting wise. USC has so much going for it that it will take a while, but I think UCLA will feel it shortly...)

Then maybe ASU for Arizona exposure. Look Stanford could EASILY be the most talented of those 4 schools every year. They could go 4-0 every year OOC and are LIKELY to go 3-1.

Lets say they play to form in conference...4 home wins + 1 road win over SMU or Cal. That is 5-3 in conference for a 9-3 to 8-4 record each year. Basically not as good as Clemson, but on par with that second tier.

Now Cal...Hmm. I think Cal will struggle because statistically, someone has to. I think Cal will be the same school they were in the PAC with a really good football year every 5 years or so. I would hope they really embrace basketball, because this is an opportunity for a MAJOR reboot of their basketball program. Cal has everything you need to succeed in the revenue sports, but I am not as convinced they will.

The bottom line is that this expansion doesn't project out poorly. Quit losing your damned minds.

[permanentmochakisses]

me, still awake at 3:30am watching the intense debate whether or not jungkook’s eyebrow piercing is real

[yuckydraws]

What are your headcanons for adult Aliza ?

Hmmmm, well you know? I’ve never thought about it before, but seeing as she’ll most likely make an appearance in my fic at some point I probably should! So here’s some general headcannons:

She, like the monsters had to, had to go through government mandated therapy. These therapists are part of the few people who are aware of how the underground was and have been trained to help both Aliza and the monsters recover. So, of course what happened down there still plagues her sometimes, but she’s mostly come to terms with it and has coping mechanisms for bad days.

She is the ambassador, has been since they all got out of there, so she took it upon herself to go to college and work towards getting a degree in communications and law. This is so she can better represent monsters as a whole and not rely so heavily on their team of lawyers anytime she needs to make a speech. If she wasn’t the ambassador? She would pursue art, she adores drawing and painting. She’s not forced into the position of ambassador, but she doesn’t trust anyone else to take over.

She did go back with her parents after breaking the barrier. They were filled in on what happened down there and they were very unsupportive of her being the ambassador. It was only when they saw how passionate she was about it, that they allowed it. They had never seen her so passionate about anything and willing to stray from her comfort zone that they often found her stuck in. Overall they’re very proud of her now and are a lot more relaxed with the whole situation now as she’s an adult.

She lives with Toriel right now as she attends college, given that Toriel lives close to the college and it helps with her workload to live with her.

She visits Undyne in prison every so often. She just wants her to have someone to talk to other than the guards and her therapist. Undyne likes her company.

Most, if not all, of the monsters have personally apologized to her in one way or another for all the things they put her through and thank her for her help in getting them out and integrated into society. She appreciated every apology and accepted them eventually after the first few years of therapy.

She often still wears her hair in pigtails, she likes how they look on her.

She loves reading, and when she has time she likes to curl up on the coach next to Toriel by their fireplace and read.

Her work keeps her very busy, and honestly? She doesn’t really have a lot of friends because of it. She feels isolated a lot, but she smiles through and continues. She puts a lot on her shoulders.

She never learned to drive. It terrifies her and she always has drivers and security guards so why should she learn, right?? Toriel just let her skip out on that milestone, with a smile.

She took in a feral kitten she found in an alleyway on the way home from a conference. She’s not sure what breed it is but she absolutely loves him and named him Casper.

[purvishraick]

A TALE OF ALWAYS AND FOREVER

CHAPTER 7

Fanfiction : Bloodbound (Choices)

Pairing : Adrian Raines x Amy Richard Parker (MC)

Warning : none

Rating: Teen

TAG LIST : @otherworldlypresents ​  , @evelynistic ​   , @silma-words ​ , @fireycookie , @lauren-raines-x , @nala-raines

If anyone wanna be tagged in future do let me know….

read previous chapter here ….. Chapter 1 , Chapter 2 , Chapter 3 , Chapter 4 , Chapter 5 , Chapter 6

So here i promised this last night but sorry it got delayed ...got stuck in some important work .... now here i am .... i hope u like it

Amy had to forcefully cut the call, in order to shut her brother and she new that this will make him angry. But she didn’t need a pep talk for not getting wasted in the club before her interview. She could handle her brother afterwards and the interview was important. She wandered here and there and settled on the bench. She felt like she is being watched from behind but didn’t find someone. Just then a stunning woman with an icy demeanor came towards her.

“Amy?” stern woman said .

“ yes that’s me “ she replied .

“I am Nicole Anderson, VP of operations at Raines Corp. I will interview you . “ she said .

Amy was surprised to see that she was going to be interviewed by someone so high at post but her queries were eased when she reminded her that they take their hiring process very seriously and she followed her in the conference room keeping her confident look .

“ now then. The Raines Corporation is a global leader in technology and innovation . Why exactly are you interested in being the executive assistant to our CEO ? “

“well…” Amy took a deep breath and continued , “ I’d love to help make the world a better place . what I admire most about the Raines Corporation is your dedication to global innovation and improvement. The clean – water initiative …the vaccine for the cerella virus …the green energy project… you guys aren’t just getting rich. You’re trying to help people, to make technology that’ll save the planet. I can’t think of anything better than being a part of that.”

“hmm……a good answer. A bit cloying , perhaps, but Adrian might actually like that “ Nicole said with an appreciative look.

Just as she was going to speak the next thing , the door at the back of the room swings open , and a handsome man in a perfectly – tailored suit strolls in.

Intelligence sparks through his eyes . He was extremely charming , with his black obsidian eyes assessing her , her already killer nervousness now peaked a whole new level.

“ Adrian I wasn’t expecting you…” Nicole asked unable to hide the surprise in her voice .

Adrian as in Adrian Raines …well all escalated very quickly for her .

“ I had a free minute. Is this the candidate ?” he asked taking the authority in his hands as he decided.

Professionalism and seriousness reflected in his voice .

“ yes …but I’ve just started the interview and—“ Nicole asked stammering .

“ I’ll take over from here “ he cut her off not wanting to take any excuses .

“……of course sir , go right ahead “ she surrendered .

Adrian sat across Amy , eyes burning right through her . He has never seen such a beautiful person in his entire existence , god knows how would she be as a person .

Amy’s nervousness grew even more when his eyes bore through her but she remembered once more , she is Amy Richard Parker and nothing in this world ever scares her , she remembered her brothers’ advices on professionality and confidence and recalled her dad’s proud thought about her and her mother’s loving smile . Now that was enough to calm her down , so she put on the brave and fearless smile again on her face and straightened her back.

“ Amy , is it ? “ Adrian looked at her and saw her hazel brown eyes which her so hypnotizing , with all his strength he prevented himself from being lost in them .

“ that’s right “ she said interrupting his thoughts .

“ tell me Amy , what do you desire ? “ he asked her and she was surprised at the question .

Amy was already so mesmerized from him that this question surprised her.

“ You mean ……why do I want this job ? Because I – “ but was interrupted by Adrian .

“ I didn’t ask why you want this job. I asked what do you desire . “ he asked seriously and professionally.

“ I desire ……PASSION “ she answered after thinking fir a while .

“ oh , really ? “ he asked , his brows raising , he was in true sense intrigued by her answer .

“Sorry , if that is too personal but I am just being honest . I want to feel deeply. I want to experience life , live every moment like my last. We never know when is our last moment , it is better to live our life to the fullest than to regret it afterwards . That’s what I desire “ she answered honestly and it was the true answer she saw what happened to her family everything was good and happy then suddenly they lost everything , she do not want to regret anything .

“ I can relate“ Adrian was impressed internally but didn’t expressed it. He supressed a smile to reach his face. He was truly impressed by her desire to live and feel and experience. He now looked at her resume .

“ lets see here … graduated college 3 years ago …masters in communication …interned at Mannon financial…volunteered in San Torbida and France abroad for a year “ he read out and again was impressed from her but wondered why it took her an extra year to sign up for this interview or for that matter any other one .

“ yep that’s right “ she said .

“ well , how was that tell me in three words “ he asked .

“ difficult. Enlighting. Rewarding. “ she replied easily .

“ good , this job can be challenging and unpredictable , are you comfortable running unusual errands ?”

“Absolutely “

I have been doing them since a long time now , she thought to herself , smiling .

“ Handling confidential information ? “

“ I can keep a secret “

You wont even realise how many I am keeping right now too , she thought again and smirked .

“ Working nights ? “

“ Always been a night owl “

Okay , I atleast told him one thing fully without strings attached , she smiled while thinking .

“ Good , Anything else I should know about you ? “

“ Hmmmm …… I have got WORLD CLASS people skills “ , she said with a proud smile .

“ Oh , really ? “ he asked with questioning eyes .

“ I was voted ‘ most likable ‘ in my high school class . Also ‘ most popular ‘ and ‘ best smile ‘ . Technichally you are not supposed to win in multiple categories , but I was able to persuade them . And also the cherry on the top I was the PROM QUEEN “ , she stated out all of her achievements proudly and remembered how happy and proud her father was to see her that day . She and her brothers has always been the brightest in the whole family , anyways. Suddenly feeling nostalgic and tears building in her eyes she averted her gaze on the floor.

“ Thus proving your point “ said a grinning and impressed Adrian , but he saw a glint of sadness in her eyes and he doubted that he saw tears too , and was unable to understand why counting her proud moments made her sad .

“ exactly” Amy said after controlling her emotions and forcing a smile.

“ one more question “ Adrian leaned forward hands folded on the table and with an intense expression , told her the story of a man who got a genie lamp and destroyed everything , and then finally asked her about what should his final wish should be .

“I think his final wish should be to undo his first two wishes “ she said after thinking for a while .

“because ?” Adrian asked curious to know her theory .

“ because he already had everything he could ask for a family and many friends …what could he ask for more it was more than enough …all he wanted or ever needed was right there in front of him …this is a story of temptation and greed …he should have never played this game …all now he can do is making things as they were before “

Her answer was something totally honest … Adrian glanced at her and then noticed how true each and every word was . she was not only beautiful but also quite intelligent …in true sense beauty with brains.

She was quite interesting too …Adrian personally never saw such a person in his entire life … and he needed to know her …he knew that it is a huge risk and a mistake but he already did that when he decided to interview her himself …now he couldn’t resist her … so then he does the only thing he could do …he knew that Nicole will be a big trouble after this but guess he was okay with that if it was what would keep this girl around .

Then he grins brightly at Amy and says

“ You’re hired “

“wait what ? …seriously “ Amy asked with wide eyes , she was surprised , how in world is it possible that someone gets hired so fast …this was weird to her … but of course she was happy .

Adrian left an inside giggle watching her surprised reaction …she looked adorable with those wide eyes …his smile grew even wider … and he extends his hand …which obviously she took .

‘ oh my god …his skin is impossibly smooth…and hold so firm …wow he is really handso-……no no no …stop brain stop thinking …no eyes …don’t look in his eyes for too long … fuck …, I am a disaster …stop cheeks don’t turn red …god please ‘ she thought .

Good god if god wanted to kill her please kill her in this exact moment …someone save her from this embarrassment …she was a disaster with wide eyes blushing cheeks …FUCK.

Adrian saw her flustered reaction which was by far the cutest thing he saw in his life … his vampire senses made her blushing cheeks clearly visible …the dark pink tint on her cheek made her impossibly adorable.

“welcome to Raines Corporation “ , he said with a bright smile

They made eye contact for just moment but everything stood still for that particular moment …it was mesmerising .

In that moment Adrian didn’t knew about Amy but he knew that they were going to go a long way .

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

@choicesficwriterscreations

[melk917]

Oooh, 6, 18 and 24 for the fanfic asks?

6. least popular fic this year

Oh, hmm.... I think Accidental Stimulation from Kinktober at 39 notes? I haven't checked all of them, but at a quick glance (and just by instinct due to the story of the fic itself), that would be my guess. I have to agree with the general reception... it's not my fav. But there's a few lines in it that I quite like. Mostly:

“You ok there, counselor?”

There was a thump followed by a muffled curse and he crawled out, sitting back on his heels to look up at you. He was in just his shirtsleeves, tie askew. “I dropped my pen and it managed to roll and get wedged between the corner and the shelf.”

You took in the massive shelf, weighed down with heavy legal tomes, the smear of dust on his cheek from rooting around behind it, and the impossible angle of space he had been reaching into. Raising an eyebrow at him, you leaned back on the conference table. “Seems like a lot of effort for a pen.”

He scowled slightly, mouth set in a frustrated line. “It was a gift,” he said shortly. Then his face softened and he dropped his gaze to the chair next to you, cheeks turning a bit pink. “From my grandmother. I’d rather not lose it.”

You cracked a smile. So the counselor was a mama’s boy. Or at least a grandmama’s boy.

18. current number of wips

Pls hold while I list them out vs just give a round number lol.

Nevada (Grinch for Holiday Bingo)

Some notes for a Nevada + DEA reader fic

Paul + baby fic with some "I'm too old" + Bridget soft angst

My long WIP, The Full Ratchet

Barba + gift wrapping smut for Holiday Bingo

A post-Undiscovered Country bit of angsty fluff that will probs never get posted but is a WIP

A filthy holiday party fic in the Full Ratchet universe

A silly 'matching Christmas PJs' for holiday bingo

3+ pages of notes for a very X-rated threesome with Rita + Rafa + Reader

A "how they go from just hooking up to an actual relationship" fic in the Full Ratchet universe that combines Donna's 30 day ultimatum to Josh from the West Wing with the drama of the initial William Lewis case

Honestly like 100s in the Full Ratchet universe... I literally have like 50 years of their lives in various fics planned out....

24. favorite fic you read this year

Ohhhhh hmmmm.... I've honestly read so, so many that are so wonderful, but one that I constantly re-read is a Barisi fic: 29 Songs. It's technically unfinished, but doesn't really read that way. It's SO hot and the feels that start to creep in.... God I love it.

[crystalwillow]

Forevermore

Pairing: Adrian Raines x Amy Brooks (MC)

Word Count: 2.3K

Summary: Adrian has been doing a lot of think about making things permanent between Amy and himself. Ever since they met, it’s like almost as if she’s become his life force and reason for living. He loves her too much to let her go, the thought terrifies him. So, he makes a proposition. But will she take it? (At the point this is written, Amy is still human.)

Tags: @kinda-iconic @adrianadmirer @sophxwithers @deansmyapplepie @rysandraines

==========================

It’s been 5 years now since Amy Brooks started working for Adrian Raines as his PA, and honestly? She’s loved every second. From the thrill of constantly being on the run from the danger his world brings for a whole year, to their last minute rendezvous moments on the rooftop of Raines Corp. she’s enjoyed every second. She wouldn’t change it for the world, and nor would he. Which is exactly what’s lead them to where they’re situated currently. In his bed, tangled in bedsheets as the cool spring breeze blows over them through opened air vents with the sun peeking just below the horizon, signaling that a new day would be beginning for them soon. As she turned to face Adrian, she found his beautiful greyish-blue eyes shining back at her as he smiled softly.

“Hey.” he whispers as he brings his hand to rest on her hip, their lower limbs tangled.

“Hey.” she whispers back, matching his smile.

The pair stayed like this for a while as Amy snuggled to Adrian’s chest, basking in his warmth and the smell of his cologne, it felt like home and it made her happy.

“We should get up soon.” he murmurs, breaking the silence between them as he traces patterns on her bare back.

“Mmm, do we have to?” she groans into his chest. “Can we not just stay here?”

Adrian gives a soft chuckle and presses a chaste kiss to her forehead. “As much as I’d also love for that to be an option, I do have meetings to attend.”

Amy shuffles so that she’s perched on her elbows, looking up at him wearing her best pout. “Please, Adrian. I don’t wanna move.”

“I know. I don’t either, this right here is perfect. But… Unfortunately, these meetings are important and cannot be missed.” he explains, shooting her a sad smile. “I’ll make it up to you later, I promise.”

She considers him for a moment before giving him a skeptical look “...and how would you do that?”    

“I’d give you all your favourite foods and watch whatever you want to watch on the television with you, the moment we get back.”

“Hmmmm.” Amy ponders, giving it some thought. “Okay,” she nods. “You have yourself a deal. Mr Raines.”

“A pleasure doing business with you, Miss Brooks.”

They shake hands before bursting out into a fit of giggles, Adrian pulling himself into a sitting position on the edge of the bed. “I’m going to shower now. Are you joining me today?”

“Mhm. Just call me once the water’s ready.”

“Alright.” he smiles, leaning back and sharing a brief kiss before reluctantly pulling away and slumping somewhat tiredly to the bathroom.

As she waits in bed, Amy decides to raid his kitchen for ingredients to make pancakes after they get out of the shower. Finding everything she needs, she groups it together on the kitchen countertop and makes her way back to the bedroom, climbing back into bed. It’s only a couple of minutes later Adrian is calling out that the waters read and he’s now getting in the shower.

“Coming!” Amy replies with a smile, clambering out of the sheets and entering the bathroom.

About an hour later the pair emerge from the bathroom, wrapped in towels and around each other.

“Are you okay?” Amy asks Adrian as he kisses behind her earlobe delicately.

“Mmhm.” he hums happily in response.

“You’re being more clingy than usual. Are you sure everything’s alright?”

“Everything’s fine. Why wouldn’t it be?” he asks in return.

“No reason,” Amy shrugs. “I’m just not used to you being extra clingy when we aren’t in the face of danger.”

“Still?” he teases, “It’s been 4 years, my love.”

Amy gives a chuckle. “Doesn’t mean I’m used to it.”

They spend a few more moments cuddling as Amy moves and sets out their clothes, then reluctantly, Adrian peels himself away from her long enough the pair can get dressed and have breakfast.

On their way into Raines Corp, they walk hand-in-hand sharing a comfortable silence, save for the moment Amy inquires as to why an owl is Adrian’s favourite animal.

“Because they’re like me! Soft and adorable to anyone. Scary and demonic to anyone who pisses me off.” he explained to which Amy laughed and gave a good natured eye roll before they let go of each other's hands, entering the building.

“What’s on the agenda for today?” Adrian asks as they step into his private elevator and get whisked up to their floor. When they emerge, they’re all serious business. A random passerby wouldn’t even guess they’ve been dating seriously for 4 years.

“...and then to round off the day, you have a meeting with The Council about the strange goings on in Japan.” Amy finishes as they stop at her desk.

m

“Thank you, Miss Brooks.” Adrian nods with a grateful smile.

“No problem. I’m literally just doing what I’m paid to do.” she salutes. “Speaking of which. I should get you your coffee. We would want deals falling through because you’re being a grouch now, would we?”

Adrian shakes his head bemusedly as he lets out a chuckle. “What would I do without you?” he asks, checking their surroundings before leaning down to press a quick kiss to her lips.

“Mr Raines!” she exclaims, “I don’t think it’s workplace policy to be randomly kissing your employees.”

“Mmm? I don’t kiss them all. Just one.” he grins, then heads into his office and with a final wave, closes the door behind him.

Their work day seems to drag on forever with them only having enough time to say a quick hello between Adrian moving between  his office and different conference rooms around he building. It always baffled her as to why he didn’t just use the one adjoined to his office all the time when it was nights they were working. After completing all her work 3 hours early, she entered Adrian’s office, taking his pens from the pot and stacking them with careful precision. Once she’d used all of those she rummaged through his drawers until she found a box full.

“AH HA!” she exclaimed to herself as she settled back in his plush office chair, concentrating to see how tall she could make her tower.

An hour and a half later, Amy was placing the final pen at the top of her tower when a voice sounded from the doorway.

“Ahem, Miss Brooks.” Adrian announces with a bemused smirk on his face.

“AH! FU-” she exclaims knocking all her hard work to the ground. “Adriaaaannn.” she whines, stomping her foot on his desk. “You ruined the towerrr.”

“Can I help you down?” he asks, stopping in front of his desk and extending a hand.

After a few silent moments of consideration, Amy grumpily placed her hand in his and he helped her down. “Why are you in my office, when you have work to do?” he asks, getting to work on picking up the pens from the floor.

“I’ve finished my work.” she pouts nervously.

“Already?” He asks with surprise.

Amy nods as he looks over at her. “I… I can sh-show you. If you do-don’t b-belive me.” she stutters.

“No. I believe you. You’re one of my most trustworthy employees.”

“I- I am?”

“Yep. Now, if you wouldn’t mind…” he says with a raised brow, pointing to all of the pens on the floor.

“Oh! Right.” she smiles, getting down on the floor, picking them up with him.

Later that day as the sun started to rise they re-entered their apartment, Adrian pulling Amy into a hug almost immediately after shrugging his jacket and shirt off, placing his shoes in the shoe rack on the wall by the door.

“Mmmm, so warm.” he hums appreciatively, “I’ve missed this.”

“Missed what?” Amy asks, feigning misunderstanding.

“Your body against mine. Our hugs. They’re the best hugs.”

“Really?”

“Mmmhmm.”

Amy spins to face him, wrapping her arms around him as she melts into his chest, she lets out a content sigh. “You’re right. They’re pretty awesome.”

“I’m always right. Well… Mostly.” Adrian says

The pair share a chuckle before Adrian gives Amy’s butt a soft tap as he yawns into her shoulder. “I think we should get some sleep.”

“Physically tired huh, Mr Raines?” Amy quips in question.

“I am, Miss Brooks. So do an old man a favour and come to bed.”

“What if I don’t want you to go to bed yet?”

Amy lets out a surprised yelp as Adrian picks her up and puts her over his shoulder, carrying her to their bedroom. Once inside, he kicks the door shut and sets her on the floor. Before she knows it, Amy is in her comfiest pyjamas and watches Adrian change into a pair of lounge pants. Once both of them are ready for bed, they climb in under the covers.

“This is so unlike you.” Amy comments quietly

“What is?” Adrian asks with a slight frown

“Getting into bed without having a shower.”

“Yeah, well… I’m too tired to stand any longer and I’m low on energy.”

He turns on his side facing Amy, she turns her back to him and shuffles back into his embrace.

“Mmmm, cosy.” Amy smiles.

“I should hope so.” Adrian chuckles in response, “Goodnight, my love.”

“Goodnight.”

---------------------------------------------

As the next few days passed, Adrian seemed the busiest he had been for a while. He was barely in his office and he was constantly clocking out to go to meetings outside of work. For a while Amy started to think that maybe he was cheating but she quashed that thought, Adrian loved her and had been loyal to her for 4 years, he wouldn’t start cheating now if it’s something he wanted to do. No, there had to be another explanation.

One night as Amy lounged at home waiting for Adrian to get back from work, her phone screen lit up on the bale in front of her. When she saw who it was, her heart dropped.

“Adrian? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. I just… could you come back to the office please? I need your help with something. It’s really baffling me.”

“Oh! Of course. Just give me a few minutes to freshen up and I’ll be there within the hour.”

“Great. Thank you, Amy.”

“No problem. I am your PA after all.”

No more than 58 minutes later Amy is knocking frantically on the door of Adrian’s office.

“It’s open!” his voice calls out.

When she steps inside her mouth drops open. “W-what’s this?” she stutters, looking around at the office lit by candle light and the table set for 2 with steaming hot plates of food.

“Please, take a seat.” Adrian says, pulling out her chair.

Hesitantly, Amy walks over and takes her seat and looks at the table as Adrian tucks her in. After joining her in the opposite seat, chuckling at her expression. “You seem surprised.”

“I- I am. When did you…” she trails off looking around in awe.

“Have time to do all this?”

Amy nods.

“After work hours of course.”

“So that’s why you were so desperate for me to go home?”

“...yes. It- It was.”

Amy smiles but it falters when she sees how nervous Adrian is. “Is something the matter?”

“Hm? … No. Well, yes. Maybe. I don’t know.” he shrugs.

“There’s a reason for this dinner isn’t there? Beyond just wanting to be the amazing boyfriend you are.”

Adrian shoots her a nervous yet grateful smile. “There is. I um… have been doing a lot of thinking lately.”

“You’re always thinking.” Amy chuckles quietly, trying to lighten the mood.

“No, about us.”

“Oh. Is… Is everything okay? Have I done something to upset you?”

“No! No, it's nothing like that,” Adrian reassures “I’ve been thinking about our lives and how if you stay human our time together is heading towards an inevitable end.

“Adrian I- wait… if I stay human?”

“The reason behind this dinner. I’ve spoken to your parents and they’re okay with it now. But whether I do this.” he takes a nervous inhale, taking her hand in his over the table, speaking his next words shakily. “Amy… with your permission, I would like to turn you. So we can be together forever.”

Amy sits in shocked silence for a long while as tears of mixed emotions well up in her eyes. “You.. you want to.. Turn me? Into… a- a vampire?”

Adrian nods, his own eyes now as teary as hers.

“Adrian I…” she hesitates. “Adrian… you know that I love you. And that I would do pretty much anything and everything to see you happy. But this… this is a big ask. A bigger decision to make. I can’t just say yes or no at the drop of a hat.”

“And I understand that.” he nods insistently. “I do. And I'm willing to wait for an answer. As long as you need to think it over and decide, I’ll wait. It’s not going to change how I feel about you.”

“Do you mean that though. I’ve heard similar things before, but it did change how those people felt about me.”

“I’m not those people, I’m me and I love you. Whether you’re human or vampire or… or a fish! I’ll always love you as you are. Because to me, you’re perfect and that’s all that matters.”

A silence fills the air as Amy looks at their hands as silent tears stream down their cheeks. Each for a different reason.

Eventually, Amy gives Adrian’s hand a reassuring squeeze, mustering up the bravest smile she can manage. “I… I’ll think about it. I promise.” she nods, voice quiet and higher pitched from the tears.

“Thank you,” Adrian sighs with a soft smile, shoulders sagging in relief. “That’s all I needed to hear.”

“Hey. I love you. And I admire you for asking. It’s a big ask.”

Adrian nods in agreement, the silence hanging between them for a moment longer.

“Let’s finish dinner, shall we?” Adrian asks, wiping the leftover tears from his face, handing Amy some tissues to do the same.

“Yeah.. I am.. Actually hungry.”

The pair chuckle and clink their wine glasses, settling into less serious and more comfortable conversation, Adrian smiling at his love fondly. No matter what her answer turns out to be, he knows he will love her deeply.

Forevermore.

[emachinescat]

Does It Count as Eavesdropping if You’re Comatose?

A Psych Fan-Fiction

by @emachinescat ​

@febuwhump​ day 28 / alt. 3 - coma

Summary: They say people who are comatose can still hear what is going on around them.  This is what Shawn heard.

Characters | Relationships: Shawn, Henry, Gus, Juliet, Madeline, Lassiter, Jack, Despereaux, Buzz, Woody, Chief Vick | Shawn/Juliet

Words: 3,898

TW: coma

Note: I really hope you enjoy this piece.  It was one of the most emotionally taxing, cathartic, and fulfilling pieces I’ve written in a long time.  I hope that comes across when you read it.  

Keep reading here, or on AO3!

If you enjoy, please consider liking, commenting, or re-blogging, and you can follow me for more content like this! :)

Shawn?

Where’s the doctor?  I need to speak to him.  Busy, my ass!  My son is in a coma.  I get that you’re just doing your job.  Just… find me someone who can give me an update.  …  Please.

Hey, bud.  I, uh – 

Shit.

Shawn, for the love of – what the hell did you think you were doing?  Going off on your own like that, not telling anyone where you were going or what you were doing.  You knew these people were dangerous, and you still… I know I taught you better than this.

Why, why do you never listen? 

***

Hey, Shawn.  Don’t think that just because you’re in a coma right now that we’re going to let this go.  You’ve pulled some stupid-ass stunts in your time, but this … this takes the cake.  And you know you’re supposed to share any cake you get with me.  Fifty-fifty split.

We’re partners, Shawn.  Why did you go in alone?

Well, all I have to say is that you better wake up soon.  The doctors say they are cautiously optimistic that you’ll have a full recovery if you will just wake up.  We’re all well aware that you are the laziest time-waster in Santa Barbara, but just this once, will you prove us wrong?

…

Please, Shawn.  You’re my best friend.  I … I can’t lose you.  Just.  Just come back, okay?

***

The doctors said that you might be able to hear what we say to you.  In my experience, doctors always say that, but, I don’t know.  It seems a little weird, don’t you think?  I mean, the thought of you lying there, so still that you might be … you know.  Anyway.  To think that you could actually be hearing everything I’m saying right now is…

It’s actually a little bit embarrassing.  Gosh, why do I always ramble like a moron when I’m nervous?  This is worse than the movie theater, the first time I asked you out.  Remember that?  Now that was humiliating.  

I know your dad and Gus have probably already given you enough lectures to fill up a novel, so I won’t yell at you for being an impulsive, stupid idiot.  Not yet.

For now, Shawn – his hand is really cold; is that normal?  Should I call the doctor?  No? – just know that I love you, with all my heart.

And that if you don’t wake up soon, I’ll kill you myself.

***

Mr. Spencer.  

Shawn.

I… I apologize for not coming to see you sooner.  It’s no excuse, but we’ve been really busy.  God knows how you did it, but you somehow managed to still get us the evidence we needed to take these guys down, even on death’s door.  These monsters have been tormenting a lot of very good people for far too long, and until you… did what you did, our hands were tied.

I suppose what I am saying is thank you.

It was incredibly stupid, and I – we all – wish you had never done it, but… thank you.

Wake up soon.  That’s an order.  

Oh, hi, Henry – I was just stopping by for a moment.  How are you holding up?  Yes, I – 

***

Hey, Goose.

I would have been here sooner, but I was stuck in New York.  I was in for a conference, and my flight got delayed because of snow, but… but you don’t really want to hear about that, do you?

You look good, considering.  From the way your father talked, I thought you’d be wasting away.  But your color is good.  You don’t have that gray pallor I’ve seen so often in those who have given up.  

That means you’re still fighting.  And that’s good.

If you’re wondering where your dad is, don’t worry.  Juliet and Gus dragged him to the cafeteria for some actual food – or as close as you can get to real food in a hospital.  Your father… That man, Shawn, I just don’t think you know how much he cares about you.  Not that it’s your fault.  Henry has never been good at showing how he feels.  

Sometimes I wonder if that’s why I married him, so long ago.  Maybe I thought I could fix him.  But you can’t really fix people, can you, Goose?  Not the way you’d like to.  

The doctors are doing everything they can to fix you, Shawn.  So don’t give up.  

Oh, here comes your father –

He’s fine, Henry – did you eat something?  Gus, did he actually eat something?  What did he eat?  Henry Spencer, coffee is not food!  Good grief, I’ll be right back...

***

Oh, Guster!  I… I didn’t know you would be here.  I’ll just… I was in the wrong room, that’s all.  Yeah, I was just visiting an old friend of the family.  Who?  None of your business, actually.  Just a friend, who is not Spencer.

What do you mean, I should stay since I’m already here?  Guster, I have important things to do, cases to solve, people to see!  Well, I suppose… Just for a minute, do you understand me?  This is ridiculous… Spencer butts his nose into my case, breaks the whole thing open, and damn near dies in the process…  

Guster – where the hell are you going?  You can’t leave me alone with Spencer!  …  What do you mean, talk to him?  Are you insane?  I don’t want to talk to him when he’s awake, why would I –?

You don’t have to shout.  I’ll stay while you step out.  

But I won’t talk to him.

…

…

Well, Spencer, this is a fine mess you’ve put yourself in.  

I mean sweet justice, man, do you ever think about what you’re doing?  About how it will affect other people?  The people who love you?

Not me, of course.  You know I could care less about you.  But my partner, your girlfriend, for some unfathomable reason, has chosen to be with you.  To like you for – man, this is hard to say – to like you for who you are.  I mean, have you met you?  That’s something that should never have happened, especially not after all the stupid stunts you’ve pulled over the years.  

But it did.  She… Juliet, she cares about you.  A lot.  If you could see just how much she’s hurting right now… 

Spencer, I once told you that if you hurt my partner, I’d kill you.  Well, you’ve gone and done it.  But I’m a fair man.  Well, I can be a fair man if given the right circumstances.  Okay, fine, I’m not exactly fair, but I do care about Juliet, so I will give you an ultimatum: If you go ahead and wake up, if you put a smile back on her face, then I will let you live.  But you’ve got to do it soon, got it?  No lollygagging like you usually do.  Just…

Guster!  You cannot just sneak up on a man like that!  No, I wasn’t talking to Shawn, don’t be ridiculous.  I’m on the phone with someone … Bluetooth.  

What?  NO!  My eyes are not “misty.”  Good lord, man, not everyone is a crybaby like you.  No, I’m not staying any longer!  Dammit, Guster, I don’t care – 

***

Hey, Shawnie!  

Look, this is a little awkward, I know, especially since I haven’t really been in touch since the whole Buchard’s treasure incident, but when your father finally got ahold of me, I rushed right over.  Bygones, and all that, am I right?  

Anywho… I brought you a penny.  I know it’s not much, but this one’s special.  It’s a 1943 bronze Lincoln.  One of the rarest out there.  I’ve been holding onto it for a while, but I thought you could use a little luck.  Well, a little more than a little, but…

Anyway, kiddo.  I hate seeing you like this.  I’m getting ready to go cliff diving in Peru, but I’ll be here with you in spirit, you got that?  Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone. 

Or do.  I guess if you’re doing something stupid, then you’re not sleeping anymore. 

Damn it.  I’m not good at this stuff.  

See ya around, kid.  

***

Hey, Shawn, my man!  Long time, no see, huh?  Do you mind if I eat something while we chat?  Want a bite?  It’s your favorite…

No?  Well, more for me, I suppose.

Hmmmm… your color looks less gray than last week.  Maybe the doctors are right, maybe you really are recovering, but… I don’t know.  Gah, I really wish they’d let me take a crack at you – ah, I mean, examine you, just in case, but… Apparently “someone who spends all day with the dead isn’t the right person to diagnose a living person, blah blah blah.”  Between you and me, friend, I think they’re hiding something from us.  It’s a conspiracy.  … Not like the Chief Vick is actually a time traveler conspiracy, mind you.  A real one.

Ah, whatever.  Whatever happens will happen, am I right, Shawn?  I have to say, you’re excellent company today!  I do miss your witty retorts, but you’ve got that comforting presence I’ve come to expect from my friends in the morgue.  They only get chatty when I haven’t slept for four days straight.  

Huh, you normally would’ve laughed at that.  

Anyway, keep on keeping on!  Whatever happens, whatever direction this thing ends up going, just know I’ve got your back.  And if you don’t make it in this world, well… let’s just say I picked out the perfect body bag to carry you into the next.  Spoiler alert: I embroidered this one myself!

Oh, and don’t forget!  I’ve called dibs on your autopsy, should it come to that!  Gosh, I can’t stop wondering if your heart really is going to be two sizes bigger than most.  I know it’s scientifically improbable, but you just love so damn much…

Ah!  Oh, Henry, you scared me!  I was just – no, I don’t have the body bag.  Promise.  Cross my heart and hope to – well, you know.  Little joke of the trade, hehe.  You’re not laughing – Shawn would have.

Okay, okay, I’m getting out, I’m leaving!  But if anything happens, you know that I – OW!  Okay, okay, yeah, got it.  Geez Louise, you’ve got a tight grip.  Did you arm wrestle in high school?  

***

Hey, Shawn.  How’s it going?

I mean, you’re in a coma, so I imagine it’s not great, but… I dunno, maybe it is.  Maybe it’s nice, wherever you’re at.

Say, I wonder if you’re in the place your psychic visions come from.  When you wake up, do you think you’ll be even more psychic than before?  That would be so cool…

Oh, Franny and Mrs. Pickles say hi.  She wanted to bake you a pie – Franny, of course, not Mrs. Pickles, he’s a cat – but I told her you were on a feeding tube, so she made me a pie instead.  It was blueberry.  One of the best pies I’ve ever tasted.  She told me to tell you that if, I mean when, you wake up, she’ll make you a pineapple upside down cake.  A whole one, just for you.

You’ve just got to wake up first, Shawn.

I … I really hope you wake up soon.  I miss seeing you around the station.  Heh, I even think Lassiter’s missing you.  He doesn’t say it so many words – or any words at all, for that matter – but he’s different.  Angrier, and I wasn’t even sure that was possible!  And he keeps glancing over at the front doors, like he’s expecting you to come waltzing in at any moment.  

Or, I dunno, maybe he ordered a pizza, but I’m betting he’s missing you, deep down.

We’re all missing you.  Get better soon, okay, buddy?

***

Well, kid.  It’s been five weeks.  You’ve always been a slowpoke in the mornings, but this is getting ridiculous.  

I’m running out of things to talk about.  Bet you’re not too broken up about that, huh?  Never did like to listen to what your old man had to say.  Still… you listened when it mattered.  Sometimes.  

I’m thinking about retiring again.  Karen’s trying to convince me to stay.  She says that she’s always got a place for me, that they may be bringing in a couple of temporary consultants in the next few weeks, to help lighten the caseload.  There’s a criminal profiler, a young woman who really knows her stuff, but Karen’s been holding off on hiring her.  Honestly, the girl’s good at what she does, but she doesn’t hold a candle to what you do.

Then again, she’s not an attention-seeking moron who runs head-first into danger without thinking of the consequences, but… she’s still not you.

Anyway, I told Karen I’d think about it, but I don’t know.  I’m getting old, kid.  I thought I wasn’t, I still felt pretty young, but recently… I don’t know.  The world just has a little less color in it than I remembered, and that’s what growing old looks like, isn’t it?  

If I retired, would you wake up?  If you didn’t have me “hovering” over you all day at work, would you finally come back?  I mean, I accepted the job in the first place to keep you safe, and that went to hell in a handbag.  Maybe I’m not so good at that job, after all.

Anyway, kid, you need to get off your lazy ass and wake up.

Believe it or not, I’m really starting to miss hearing your voice.

I love ya, kid.  And I want you back.

***

Shawn, you will not believe what came in the mail today!  

Seriously, guess.  

Come on… 

Dang it.  I really hoped that would get you curious enough to open your eyes.  

Anyway… something really did come in the mail.  Well, sort of.  I found it on your desk in the Psych office when I came in to check on things.  I’ve been advised that it might be a good idea to stop paying rent for an office I’m not using, but that feels like letting you go, like I’m giving up on you, and I’m not ready to do that.  So I’m going to keep paying that bill, okay?

But as I was saying, this envelope was just sitting on your desk!  Just your name on it, too.  At first I thought you were finally getting your Hogwarts letter, because it’s in a really fancy envelope.  It wasn’t, by the way.  Damn, I’m really rambling today.  Sorry.  I’m just … tired.  But I wanted to read you this letter before I head out to see a few more clients.  Here we go:

Dear Shawn,

It has come to my attention that you have been gravely injured and are in a coma in Santa Barbara Hospital.  My contact has informed me that you’ve been in this state for nearly two months now.  I am devastated to hear about this, and hope that by the time this letter finds you, you have awoken and are back to your normal self.  If not, then I can only hope that your friend Mr. Guster will be kind enough to read you this letter.

I regret that I was unable to visit you myself, but as I am currently wanted in no less than four countries, I thought it best to stay away from any place that is crawling with police officers.  I don’t know if you are aware of this, but between your lovely lady friend and her grumpy assistant, along with all of your other friends at the SBPD, you have an officer of the peace in your hospital room nearly around the clock.  And I know what you’re thinking – I made my name sneaking in and out of impenetrable places.  You would be right.  Perhaps I cannot face seeing you in such a terrible way with my own eyes.

You must recover soon!  I stole a lovely Van Gogh in your honor, but there was no way I could have mailed it to you without its being confiscated by the authorities.  I do think of you every time I see it upon my mantle.  

Sincerely,

Pierre Despereaux, Gentleman & Art Thief 

Did you hear that, Shawn?  Your iffy role model Despereaux is even worried about you.  I know that you would – for some reason – do anything to make that man proud.  So what do you say?  You ready to wake up yet?

…

Dammit, Shawn.  I don’t know how much more of this I can take.

***

Hey, there, Goose.  

I know it’s been a while since I’ve visited, but I’m actually on a conference tour right now, and your father is keeping me up to date on all developments.  You look nice today – your father just gave you a shave, and though it’s not the most even of cuts, it makes you look more like yourself.  

So, your father called me yesterday in near hysterics.  He said that you had shown the first signs of waking – when your nurse took your blood, you pulled away.  For the first time since all this started, you reacted to something in your surroundings.  Of course, I flew right in.

You haven’t responded to anything since, though.  Shawn, I –

You know I love you, right?  I realize that I’ve never been the best at this sort of thing – at being a mother.  I know I didn’t always make the right decisions.  Even now, I…

I miss you, son.  If you can hear me at all – and I know that you can – please, please, just… whatever is trapping you in your own mind, whether it is fear or trauma or pain or … please, just.  Come back to us.  I – 

Oh, Henry, when did you get back?  No, you don’t have to leave, I –  No, no, I’m fine, I told you I’m fine, I – 

��– It’s all right, Maddie.  I’ve got you.  You don’t always have to be strong, you know. – 

***

Okay, Shawn, I know I normally try to keep things light and positive, but I don’t think I have it in me to do that today.  I’m sorry, I just…

Today sucked, you know?  Like, really sucked.  Well, if I’m being honest, the past seven months have sucked.  But today was extra special.  

I won’t burden you with all of the details, but work was difficult today.  Lassiter and I got assigned a tough case, and, well, it didn’t end up the way we’d hoped.  Long story short, we uncovered a dirty cop.  It was, um… do you remember Lawson?  He worked in narcotics.  Turns out he’s done some things … hurt some people.  He wasn’t always accountable out in the field, and some things came to light.  Anyway.  It’s a mess.

And then there’s this whole thing with you.  I just … every time it looks like you’re making improvements, you just … you just retreat back into yourself, and I feel like I’m losing you more every day.  I promised you when this all started, on day one, that I would wait for you, that I would be patient, and I’m trying, but…

It’s not that I want to leave you or anything.  Not at all.  My patience is just wearing thin, and I can’t sleep and night and every day I wake up terrified to look at my phone, because what if I have a message that you’ve woken up, but that you don’t remember me at all?  Or worse, what if I get a message that you’ll never wake up again?  

Our bed feels empty.  I sleep with Mr. Snuggles every night, though – do you remember Mr. Snuggles, you know, the bear you won me at the fair when we started dating?  He’s soft, but he’s wearing a bit thin.  I guess holding a stuffed animal like it’s a lifeline every night for over half a year will do that, but I’m afraid he’s going to break soon.

I think… 

I think I’m already broken, Shawn, and I can’t – 

I’m sorry.  I’m sorry, I don’t mean to… I just miss you.

Did you know that I kiss you every night before I leave?  Nothing fancy, just a single, light kiss on the lips.  Sometimes I pretend that you’re the damsel in distress and I’m Prince Charming, and I almost manage to convince myself that when I pull back, your eyes will be fluttering open to look at me, like Snow White or Sleeping Beauty.  But every time, you stay asleep.

Maybe this time, you’ll wake up.  Can you do it for me, baby?  Please?

…

Well, it was worth a try.  I miss the way you used to kiss me back.  I’ll try again tomorrow.

I’ll never stop trying.  

I love you, Shawn.

***

I just don’t get it, Mr. Spencer.  The doctors say he’s recovered from his injuries almost perfectly.  Even the head injury, on the surface, has healed.  Why isn’t he waking up?  It’s been eleven months!

If I knew, Gus, I’d be the first to tell you, but I have no idea what’s going on inside that thick head of his. 

I’m sorry.  I know you’ve got a lot on your plate right now, too.  I shouldn’t be –  

Gus.  Just like I told Jules, we have to be here for each other.  That’s all we can do.  That, and be here for Shawn when he wakes up. 

If he wakes up.

Don’t say that, Gus.  You know Shawn.  He’s the most stubborn person either of us knows.  He’ll wake up.  He’ll make it through this. 

How long are we going to keep telling ourselves that?  He’s been comatose for almost a year, Mr. Spencer.  Every time he shows signs of coming back, he just… doesn’t.  How long do we keep waiting?  Two years?  Five?  How long until we’ve reached the point of no return?  Will we even know it when we see it?

Gus, the point of no return doesn’t happen until he stops breathing, and that’s not going to happen, okay?  We stick by Shawn until our prayers are answered or are no longer necessary.  Got it? 

You’re right, I’m so sorry.  Of course I’d never give up on Shawn, I’m just so tired –

Shhhh! 

I am pouring my heart out here!  I let you cry on my shoulder yesterday, and you won’t even let me –

First off, I wasn’t crying, and even if it was, I wouldn’t be doing it on your shoulder.  Secondly, I could have sworn I saw – yes!  He’s moving!  Do you see his hand, Gus?  Gus! 

I … I dunno Mr. Spencer.  Could be another false alarm.

Maybe, but… this feels different.  Shawn?  Shawn?  Can you hear me, bud?  Can you open your eyes? 

He’s stopped moving.  His heart rate’s normalizing.  I think –

“D-dad?”

Oh my – thank GOD, Gus, get a doctor, get a nurse – call Jules – Shawn, Shawn, can you hear me? 

“Dad?”

I’m here, Shawn, I’m here.  Open your eyes for me – there you go.  Gus has gone to get the nurse.  He’ll be back with someone in a second. 

“Jules?”

She’ll be here, she’s just outside.  Thank God you’re awake, I – 

“I h-heard, Dad.”

What? 

“I heard.  Everything.”

You did, huh? 

“Yeah… do you a-always sound like a dying lawn mower when you cry?”

Dammit, Shawn, can’t you let me enjoy having you back for one second before you ruin it?

“L-love you, too, Dad.”

…

Welcome back, son.  It’s good to see you smile again. 

“Yeah, you too, dad – weird… But good.”

[gustafsnightangel]

A Softer Side Part 2

Hunt and Strand lived, breathed, and ate the case until they had exhausted all avenues, only then did they decide to stakeout Donovan’s place.

“It’s like four days until his kids birthday and he’s still in town, what gives?” Hunt asked from the back of the van as he watched Donovan’s car pull up.

“A few options, he isn’t our guy, he’s snatching closer to home, or he’s paying someone else to get their hands dirty as he’s retired living the life of luxury.” Karl quipped sarcastically.

“In a run down duplex. Sorry, I’m not buying.” Jerry huffed.

“Me either. He’s dirty, we just gotta find the dirt.” Karl’s eyes narrowed as the trunk of Arthur’s car opened. Snatching the camera with the telephoto zoom lens he zeroed in on the shopping bags.

“You got something boss?”

“Shopping.” He stated and clicked away as Jerry watched the images come up on his laptop screen. “Hmmmm.”

“Hmmm indeed.” Hint said scanning the photos. “Why would a guy in his sixties, living alone need feminine hygiene products and diapers?”

“Damn good question.”

“He’s stocking up.” Jerry said quietly.

“He is, hey run the plates.” Karl smiled. “He’s changed cars, that’s not the same one he had last week when we came here.”

“Derek Strider, age 57, black hair, that’s dyed because it was a sandy blond when we met last week. Says here he’s a retired school teacher. Helps out at, oh fuck me.” Jerry said a moment later, and spun the laptop around for Strand to see.

Karl almost went nuclear. A fucking orphanage, is this guy for real? “Get Meekland on the phone, right the fuck now.” He snarled and Jerry opened a line.

Strand relayed the information and Jerry, wisely, kept his mouth shut.

“I’m not asking for a warrant yet ma’am, I’m asking for someone to go sit on the orphanage over the next few days to see what this guy does.” The line went silent for a few moments.

“You’re sure?”

“Somethings off Sarah, we can’t ignore it.”

“Very well, I’ll have someone assigned to you this afternoon.” She snapped.

“Thank you.” The line went dead.

“You guys really hate each other don’t you?” Jerry said quietly.

“No, just... we irritate each other, oil and water.” He chuckled, let him think they hated each other, it was better than I’m banging the boss. “What type of security do you think he has on that house?”

“Considering what he’s hypothetically hiding, I’d say a lot.”

“Hmmm.”

“What hmmm, I don’t like that hmmm.” Jerry said cautiously.

“He’s going to go out at some point and I want to have a snoop around.” Strand murmured.

“You can’t go in...”

“I didn’t say I was going in, I want to look around.” He shot back. “You knock on the front door while I wander around the back.”

“If we go in without a warrant.”

“I’m well aware of what happens, don’t sweat it kid, I’m not about to blow this lead by entering without a warrant.” Not yet he thought.

“Ok then, when?”

“Discretely call the orphanage and ask what time the volunteers come in, tell them your interested in helping out.” Karl lifted the camera back up as Arthur ventured out to the car again as Jerry made the call.

******

“He’s heading to the orphanage.” Jerry confirmed.

“And you know this how?” He asked sarcastically.

“Because Wainwright just texted me that he’s over there and our boy just got out of his car.” Hint smiled.

“Good, let’s go.” Karl stalked to the house with purpose, his long legs eating up the road. Signaling to Jerry, he went around the back. He heard the kid knock on the door and wait, the polite investigator just tying up loose ends. Strand committed the layout of the rear of the house to memory, the storm shelter door which was oddly out of place against the abandoned garden shed along the back fence. Glancing at the neighbors yard, their storm shelter was against the house. Hearing Jerry’s second knock and polite call of Mr. Donovan he ventured along the rear of the house, studying every weather beaten board, every window. Nothing out of the ordinary. Taking out his phone he snapped a few photos and walked toward the garden shed, now here was some security. “What are you hiding behind a rusty tin shed Arthur that needs a high end, high priced military security system?” He muttered to himself and snapped a few pictures of the lock and the storm shelter which also has a lock. The back entrance to the house was also tightly secured, he needed blueprints and a warrant.

******

Climbing back into the van Karl uploaded the photos from his phone to Jerry’s computer and gave him detailed information about the locks and where to find someone to break them. He also had him pull the county blueprints of the area.

“Ex military.” Strand said as if that alone explained everything. “They don’t ask questions and get the job done. It’s our last resort if we can’t get the warrant.”

“We’ll lose our asses if we go in without a warrant.”

“I will, you won’t be coming in if it gets to that point, because I won’t be arresting him.” He said darkly and let the kid see the rage and hatred simmering beneath the calm facade that was Karl Strand. “If it is who we think it is, I’m not letting him slip through again. This time I’ll end the fucker.”

“Fair enough.” The kid gulped.

“Set up one of the remote wireless cameras on the house and we can monitor from the office for the night. I want food and a fucking shower.” He was beat. They’d been jammed in the van for nearly a week but it was paying off, they had leads, they were following cautiously.

“Can do boss.” Karl climbed into the drivers seat while Jerry took care of the camera and they headed out once everything was online.

******

Strand went out for burgers again after his shower and walked into the conference room as Jerry was finishing up with Wainwright on the phone, the camera they’d set up showed Donovan’s car back in the driveway at the house.

“Our boy home for the night?” He asked placing food in front of the rookie and taking a seat.

“Yeah, got in about ten minutes ago. Wainwright’s gonna hang in case he scouts the orphanage out tonight.”

“Good.”

“He also setup a wireless camera so we can see the building, front and back.”

“Even better.” Karl studied the orphanage, entries, exits, windows. “Pretty secure.”

“Reasonably, the younger kid section more than the main building.” Jerry said biting into the burger.

“Begs the question of how? How’s he gonna do it Jerry?”

“How much does it cost to legally adopt?”

“Chump change to what he’s getting for them. But no, not legally adopt, too much of a paper trail, too many questions.” Karl chewed on that thought. “I wonder...”

“You wonder what?”

“I wonder if he’s visiting other orphanages.” Strand mused out loud.

“Fuuuck! I didn’t even think of more than one. It would be a bold fucking move to snatch them from the orphanage though.”

“Yeah.” Karl said wistfully as his brain ticked over each scenario. “I’d wait.” He murmured.

“Wait for what?”

“I’d wait for the kids to be adopted.” He sat up abruptly and started typing. “Cross check all the orphanages in the last few states he’s hit with parents that have adopted only to then have the child kidnapped a little while later. That’s going to be a short fucking list, at least I hope it’s shorter than the list we have.” They sat and tossed theories around as the computers churned through data. They both fell silent as the chime from the computer informed them of a hit.

“Shit.” Karl scrubbed his hand over his face. “I was hoping I was fucking wrong.”

“Me too, but it’s more weight for a warrant.”

“Ok let’s get to work.” He sighed as the hits came in, a slow trickle of more names he’d add to his list.

“He used more than one orphanage in New York State, Ohio, and Colorado.” Jerry said in awe at the amount of names popping up. “This is crazy.”

“It is, but what’s the bet you just found your milk money.”

“No we found their prime merch, the milk money will be the homeless that can be cleaned up and sold for a quick $20K.”

“Let’s get it together, I’ll call Meekland in the morning and disturb her weekend.” He grinned, in more ways than one.

“Oh she’ll love you for that.” Jerry said sarcastically.

“You sassing me boy?” Strand growled.

“No sir absolutely not.”

Karl couldn’t contain the chuckle, the kid was all right for a rookie.

******

It was 3 am Saturday morning when Strand called it a night. They were both wrecked.

“Go home, get some sleep Jerry. Good work these past few weeks.”

“Thanks boss but if you’re staying so am I.”

“I’m not, I’m heading out. We can’t help these kids if we’re falling asleep mid-takedown. Rest.”

“You too.” He said and collected his coat and headed out.

Strand was kicked back staring at his board when Meekland stepped in. “Making progress?”

“Slowly, but yes.” He eyed her carefully, damn he was in the mood to fuck her hard. “If he sticks to pattern he’ll move on the 17th kidnapping the first kid.”

“We can lockdown the orphanage.” She assured him and he smiled.

“He won’t take the kid from there, it’ll be from the family that just adopted their new baby girl.” He snarled.

“Oh fucking shit Karl.” She breathed. “Seriously?”

“That’s how I’d do it and there’s a pattern with previous states and families that have adopted.”

“Who’s he going to hit?”

“I don’t know. There are multiple adoptions each day and he visits more than one orphanage, each with a different ID. We’re still working that angle. It wasn’t until a few hours ago we were thinking it was just him and a lone operator, now I’m thinking mob or syndicate.”

“Jerry heading home?”

“Yeah, as am I. We need sleep. There’s nothing more I can do for her tonight.”

“You really think she’s still with him don’t you?”

“I heard her screaming when we were close fifteen years ago Sarah, I fucking know she exists.” He stood and pulled his coat on, jamming his hands into the pockets.

“Want to hit the bar?” Which was their code for take me home sir?

“I do, but I’m beat to hell. I need sleep.”

“Go and sleep, we can swing past after lunch.” And with that settled she turned on her heel and left.

******

He knew he should have said no to Sarah, but damn it a man has needs and she was more than a willing participant. The drive home to his downtown apartment was blissfully short given the time and for once the doorman wasn’t at his post to talk his ear off. He needed his brain to shut down for a good twenty four, a solid eight and a good fuck would suffice. Once inside he darkened the room, took a long hot shower and let the day and the case fall away. Crawling naked under the covers he let sleep claim him hard.

******

Her text tone woke him, Sarah was on her way. Slipping on a pair of lounge pants that hung low on his hips he padded out to fuel up with coffee and eggs he hoped were still good. He was clearing his dishes when Sarah knocked.

“You look like shit.” She said gruffly and handed him a bag of fresh bagels.

“Good morning to you too sunshine.” He chuckled and let her in.

“Eat your bagels.” She smirked.

“I’ll save them, I just had eggs. What is it you want Sarah?” He asked sternly.

“You.”

“I thought you had a someone special?” He joked.

“Apparently not as special as the blond bimbo on his arm last Thursday.” She snapped. Ahhhh he thought, that would explain the moodiness these past few days.

“I’m not relationship material Sarah you know that, this is just sex.”

“Sex is all I fucking want right now.” She spat and his eyebrow raised.

“On your knees.” He growled. “You forget your place little one.” She dropped to her knees, eyes never leaving his. “Bedroom.” He barked when she went to touch him, the slight flinch reigning her in. He knew what she needed from him, what she craved when she was like this. Watching her crawl on all fours to the bedroom he finished his coffee and devoured a bagel, she would wait, time it’s own restraint.

She was kneeling at the side of the bed, her usual spot, when he came into the room and shut the door. Belt in hand he stood behind her, looming, his presence enough to have her submit to him. When her head bowed he sat on the bed in front of her and hooked a finger under her chin forcing her to look at him.

“You know not to take that tone with me little one.” He growled. “Across my lap, you get ten.” He saw the realization in her eyes that they wouldn’t be a soft ten either. “Stand.” He commanded. Once she stood she kept her head bowed, hands nervously twitching in front of her. “Take your shirt off.” He purred, the slight smile tugging his lips as her hands shook while fighting the buttons. It was arousal over fear, Sarah had never feared him, nor should she. This was their game, mutually beneficial, equally satisfying. He drank in her curves, the swell of her breasts as she stripped the blouse from her body. “Now your skirt.” His voice husky with need of his own as his eyes followed the fabric down her legs to pool at her feet. She waited, knowing he was in control, he would tell her when to move.

“On the bed, across my lap.” He said after he took his time devouring every inch of her with his eyes. Holding out his hand she took it to steady herself as she got into position. “Hands.” He murmured, the command in his tone unmistakable. Binding her wrists with the belt he secured them comfortably in the swell of her spine. She’d come prepared with her hair already in a tight braid, the long rope like tail enough for him to wrap around his hand for a good grip when he was ready. “Count them out little one.” He soothed as his hand circled her ass cheek ready to strike.

He drew his hand up and back and slapped her hard. The crack of skin against skin echoed around his bedroom.

“One sir.” She said defiantly.

The second strike caused her to whimper, the large red hand print blooming on her skin.

“Two sir.”

With each strike she relinquished control, he could feel her submit to him further.

“Five sir.” She choked as the tears came. He didn’t hesitate, knew that this was what she needed. Wrapping her braid around his hand he fisted it and pulled her head back gently before striking her again.

“Six sir.” She sobbed, tears streaking her cheeks.

“Nearly there little one. He purred and brought his hand down sharply.

“Seven sir.” He felt her let go, the last of her stress and tension falling away as he soothed her ass cheek before striking again.

“Eight sir.” Her sob shook her body.

His fist tightened in her hair as he gave her the last two strikes, both harder than the rest of them.

“Ten sir.” She cried, as he released her hair gently and soothed the pain from her scalp and her glowing hot cheek.

“Will you talk to me in that tone again little one?”

“No sir.” She whimpered.

“Up you get.” He urged and he helped her up and into his lap, her wrists still bound.

“I’m sorry sir.”

“I know you are.” He kissed her forehead, the need for her to feel safe was as important as the release the rough session would bring her.

“Be a good girl now and hop up.” He said, his hand steadying her as she unfolded herself from his lap. Fingers stripped the remaining lace from her body, those curves enticing him to play. Once she was naked he cupped her face in his hands and devoured that beautiful mouth. “Such a good girl.” He purred as she stood there and let him take her as he wanted, touch her as he wanted.

He wasn’t a gentle lover, and never had been, he didn’t do it with the premise of intentionally hurting someone, but his handling was rough. Gripping her wrists he held them forcefully as he took and touched. Releasing them he positioned her face down onto the mattress, his huge frame towering over her. Nudging her knees to widen her gripped her hips hard to bring her up on her knees, that perfect ass presented ready for him to fuck. “Wider.” He growled and nudged her knees open, the whimper making him smile. She’d been begging for him to take her like this and hard for weeks. He left her there, poised for the rough hard fuck she’d asked for while he stripped, his cock aching to be buried inside her, to feel her. He opened the nightstand drawer and placed the vibe on the bed for later, she would come and come hard today.

She wiggled her ass as his tip pressed against her entrance and his hand coming down sharply on her ass cheek. “Don’t test me.” He snarled. He teased her, tormented her to breaking point, the tears and whimpers fueling his own lust. With a sharp thrust of his hips he buried himself deep, her body shaking with the force of their pelvises meeting. Hers was a guttural groan at finally being filled with him, his own grunt equally as loud as he held her hips painfully tight and began to take her.

Strand fucked her hard, his own tension and stress of the weeks past eager to find its own release, the need to fuck it out of his system taking over. Pounding into her he gripped the leather at her wrists and rode her, the sound of their bodies colliding mixing with the grunts and groans of fucking filled the room. He felt her peak, the tightness of her pussy caressing him. Just as she was about to shatter he pulled out, her release ebbing away. His throaty chuckle at her whimper of frustration only spurring him on. “I warned you not to test me.” He snarled, the slick tip of his cock pushing at her puckered hole. It wasn’t often he gave her this pleasure, knew she relished it as much as he did. “So wet for me.” He cooed, the spanking earlier doing its job, her heightened arousal obvious. “You want me there don’t you.” He teased. “Want me buried in that pretty ass.”

“Please sir.” She begged and pushed back slightly to try and force him inside her, desperate to feel him fill her again. The hard slap to her already red ass cheek made her yelp.

“Patients little one or you’ll get nothing.” He growled. “I’ll take my fill and leave you wanting.” She stilled and waited. “Better.” He stroked his engorged cock and made her wait longer, the game drawn out for her pleasure as well as his. Slipping inside her soaked pussy he gave her a few thrusts before pressing against her back door, the tightness around his mushroom tip making him groan. He fed her the tip, her muscles contracting around his head like a vice, her body trembling as she fought the urge to push back onto him.

“Please sir.” She whimpered.

“You want it all don’t you little one?” He inched into her slowly, her breath erratic as she struggled not to come.

“Please sir.” She whimpered.

Once he was seated in her tight ass he drew out and began to thrust, the ease of which he knew she’d prepared for the evening in advance. Working into a rhythm he plunged in taking her hard, the slaps to her ass adding to their mutual pleasure. Leaning over her he placed a hand either side of her head, above the shoulders and fucked her, that soft whimper making him lose his mind as he dominated her. In a swift move he straightened, wrapped her braid in his hand and pulled her head back so her body was bowed back, the other hand at her throat. She was at his mercy, bound and being fucked relentlessly.

His hand dropped from her throat momentarily and reached for the vibe he’d placed there earlier. Switching it on he held it over her clit, the cry of shock and extreme pleasure sharp to his ears. He slowed his rhythm as he eased it inside her pussy, the curved section long enough to sit against her clit. Taking a hold of her throat again he plunged in and felt the vibration ripple up his cock, the groan primal. He took her, hips snapping, pushing him deep into her ass, she was almost screaming in ecstasy.

Feeling her peak he pistoned his hips and fucked her like the primal animal he was, taking what he wanted, everything she had to offer him and more. “Come.” He snarled and squeezed her throat as she exploded. The feel of her milking him had him roar before he spilled his seed, his thrusts erratic and powerful. Both spent he pulled out and released her wrists, her body lax and unmoving as she caught her breath. “Color little one.” He said as he climbed off the bed.

“Green sir.” She panted.

They weren’t one for cuddles and snuggles afterwards, they both got what they needed out of this session and Karl headed to the bathroom to shower. She joined him as he was stepping out to take care of her own personal hygiene. With a towel wrapped around his hips he cleaned up and stripped the bed, virtually erasing the fact they’d fucked here at all.

******

“You know this can’t be a regular thing Sarah.” He said as she stood on his threshold, finger stroking down his crisp blue shirt. “I can’t go through all that shit again.”

“Pity.”

“Were no good for each other.” Except for a quick fuck he wanted to add but thought better if it. He needed to be clear with her again. They had rules and limits for a reason, especially after the crash and burn of their actual relationship years earlier.

“I know Karl, it’s just...” She sighed. “I know.” Leaning in she kissed him sweetly. “Thanks for the session, I needed it.”

“So did I.”

“You know it’s Sunday, you don’t have to go in.”

“I want to see what the our databases spat out.” He said abruptly. He wanted to chase down leads and get ahead of this fucker. “And I think better when I’m staring at the board.”

“I’ll see you around then Strand.”

“Yes ma’am you will.” He said softly and closed the door before she could worm her way back into his heart. He’d loved her once, if a man like him was able to love, but they were just fuck buddies now and it suited him just fine.

******

He didn’t expect to see Jerry at the conference room table, downing coffee and typing furiously.

“You look like a man possessed.” Karl chuckled softly as he shucked his coat and sat to look at the names the computer had pulled, he was loose and relaxed and ready to dig in. “And you shouldn’t be here on your day off kid.”

“You’re here.” He said flatly, continuing on his current train of thought.

“I’m on my own time Hunt, I don’t expect you to be.” Strand said gruffly, he wasn’t a complete asshole to drag the kid away from his scheduled time off.

“You’re here, I’m here.” He said simply. “I’m not looking for overtime, or a pat on the back. I want this prick.”

“It’s personal for you.” Karl said quietly, his gaze studying the rookie as he worked. “Not my business.” He added when the silence stretched. Yes, he thought, you’ll do kid.

“My sister.” Jerry said after a moment as he kept working, though Karl could see the pain and grief etched deep in the kids face when he mentioned her. It had aged him in a heartbeat. “Not this case.” He added quickly. “But you never know, this might give me answers into hers.”

“Unsolved?”

“Stone fucking cold boss.”

“Tell me.” He commanded, he needed to know where the kids head was at.

Strand looked at Jerry and rage looked back, that was something, Karl thought. Anger was good fuel when you had to push through the shit haunting your every step.

“Nutshell version. My sister, Eva, is 16, seven years younger than me, or she would be if she was still alive. I’m not sure she is. She ran away from home and or was kidnapped when she was 10. My mother was adamant she was taken. I’m more inclined to believe Eva took off on some hair-brained fantasy of a better life on her own, even at ten she was a hellion. Cops looked into it and shuffled it to a cold case after not so much as a we’re chasing all leads. They don’t give a shit.”

“Which is why you’re with this agency and not a cop.” Strand added.

“Absolutely.” He said vehminantly. “I’d like to believe she’s still alive, but reading this case and the possibility of her being sold, I’d rather she be dead.”

“Can’t blame you there.” Karl studied the rookie closely. “Is this going to be an issue for you?”

“No sir.” He said strongly. “These kids, the women they are now, deserve everything of me to catch this guy and nail his balls to the fucking wall. If it leads me to answers about my sister then great, if not, I’m ok with that too.”

“There’ll be other cases that blur the lines with your sister.”

“Yep, and it’ll be the same answer then too.” He said matter of factly.

“Good to know.” Karl was pleased with the rookie’s answer. A lot more grit under the shiny new investigator badge than there appeared to be. “What have you got?” He nodded at all the names and figures on the screen.

“I need to figure out what’s driving this and it’s usually money. I set up a phony encrypted account and signed up for all these websites that offer girls of all ages to be purchased. I needed to be in their system to have a snoop around. It’s my guesstimate of the different levels of, dare I call it, merchandise, and payments for each girl, for each username or seller.” He explained.

“You’re looking for a pattern.”

“Exactly.” He pointed at Karl and went back to the printed out spreadsheet in his hands.

“How far does this go back?” Strand asked, the cogs in his head turning with this new information.

“So far only three years. I can get more but it’ll take some time. I’ve already set my computer to pull data.” He turned the laptop around for Strand to see, numbers and names flicking past at an alarming rate.

“How may girls per year?” He asked softly.

“Per user or per website?”

“Both.”

“Gimme a sec.” Jerry’s brow knit in concentration as he fiddled with the spreadsheet on the big screen. “Holy shit!” He breathed out in disbelief.

“Yeah that sums it up.”

“130,000 plus girls a year over the site. 1 to 2 thousand girls, give or take per user. Some users rank higher than others.”

“We look into them all. Split the list of users in half, we run them all. Let’s build the case from our side so when we put these assholes in a cage they fucking stay there.” Karl growled.

“I’ll dig for personal information first to give you a name and username on the site.”

“Do that. I’m calling Meekland, we need more people on this. It’s not just our buddy boy Arthur, not just this handful of sites.”

“We going after them all?”

“We shut Arthur down first, that’s our priority, find the girl, his first girl. We can run the rest in the background.” Karl said as he got some notes together.

“I can set that up. Can I have Wainwright? He knows his shit when it comes to computers and hacking and tech.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” He looked at the kid. “I know you’re not in it for the pat on the back, but this deserves one. Good job.” He grabbed his phone and made the calls to Meekland, secured Wainwright for the support and began to dig into the usernames.

******

“Question.” He said into the silence, the hum of the computer fans the only other sound in the room a while later. “Did you cross the sell dates with anything?”

“Not yet.” Hunt answered. “The snatch date would be different to the sell date and we don’t know how long he keeps them.”

“Search for sell dates on our boys three anniversary dates.” He said on a whim.

“You got something boss?”

“A hunch maybe.”

Jerry ran the search on the sellers websites and the spreadsheet on the big screen. “That’s still a lot of girls.” He blew out.

“But look at the ages.” Strand grinned. “That’s the only thing that matches for three of the sellers. The girls are all 16.”

“So he keeps them from infants to 16?” Jerry’s voice choked.

“Grooms them from birth to be the whores they’ll be sold as.” Strand ground through his teeth. “Those are your prime merchandise.” He nodded to the screen. “Look at the price they were sold for.”

“3.7 mil, 6.2, 1.3, 5.4. Auctioned off, not just sold.” Jerry said reading the site.

“Can you find pictures of the girls?” Karl asked.

“They usually don’t have pictures up of prior transactions but I can look. You thinking these are Arthur’s girls?”

“That’s exactly what I’m thinking.”

“There’s three usernames though.”

“Oh I bet it’s all his, one for each anniversary.” Strand was deep in Arthur’s head now. “I wonder?” He whispered to himself and opened up his file on the wife as he scanned the account and username list.

“Got something boss?” Jerry asked and grabbed their cups to refresh the coffee that had gone cold.

“Maybe.” He mumbled, brain locked onto the current task. “Did you happen to glance around the inside of his house when you talked to him?”

“A little, I didn’t want to be too obvious.” Jerry sat the coffee in front of Karl and took his seat again.

“Were they’re any pictures or anything of his wife that stood out?”

“He had a portrait of her and a child, well I’m assuming it was his wife and a depiction of their child.” Jerry closed his eyes as if to bring the memory back. “Oh and a strange poem line under the portrait painted on the wall or something. You know how people have those chic signs and sayings and shit? He had one that said.... oh fuck me... wait.” Jerry’s eyes went wide and he scrambled forward to use his laptop. “Fuck! Fucking fuck I missed it before. NevermoreRaven that’s his fucking account username.” Jerry spat. “And he lists all three separate usernames under that one account name. Son of a bitch.”

“So our boy is into some Poe is he?” Karl grinned. “What was the poem line on the wall?”

“Sorrow for the lost Lenore.”

“The Raven by Mr. Edgar Allen Poe.” Strand stood and scrawled it across the board. “What’s the bet Lenore is his wife’s real name. Add an amendment to your report on the Peter Jensen case, tie it in. It’ll give us cause and a bit of weight.” It was a good solid lead and something he could now got to Meekland with to secure a warrant. “Damn good work Jerry.”

“I was stupid, I just thought it quirky and should have followed up, we could have known this earlier.” He spat, angry he’d made a rookie mistake.

“Live and learn kid. Without the website info it wouldn’t seem like much.”

“It would have to you.” He huffed.

“Kid I’ve got nearly twenty years on you.” He snorted as he pulled out his phone to call Meekland again, thing had just swung in his favor. “Run and focus everything on EvermoreRaven. We nail Arthur first, then we go after the others. Let’s not spread ourselves too thin and lose him.” Which is what had happened last time, Karl thought. History would not be repeating itself, his case, his op, this time around, his rules.

“When’s he due to strike again?” Meekland asked, annoyance in her voice at being disturbed again on a Sunday.

“Tomorrow is his kids birthday and the day his wife died. He’ll have his information on who he’s going to snatch and the 16 year old he’s about to sell.”

“Jesus Karl, this is a can of fucking worms.” Her sigh was one of frustration.

“Yeah and it’s going to get messy if we don’t do it right. As much as I want to bust in there and nail his balls to the wall we need to catch him in the act. The snatch and sell needs to go down, transactions completed for it to be worth anything in court, for us to dig deeper and get them all. I need to know where he’s getting all the girls and housing them. I need the warrants, I need a team.”

“You’ll have it.” She said without question. “Send me the list of who you want on this, hand pick the team. I know you Karl.” She said, that unspoken approval of they don’t all have to be department employees.

“Thank you ma’am.” He said gently, and he was thankful, she was giving him free reign which if the op went south it would be her ass too. He’d keep Hunt and Wainwright, the rest would be a team he trusted and knew wouldn’t let shit fall through the cracks. Time to color outside the lines a little, he thought as, he put in a call to Wainwright and was surprised when the guy walked into the conference room ten minutes later. “You working today?”

“I was yeah. Nothing that can’t wait. What do you need?” Karl liked Steven, blunt and no bullshit, much like himself.

“Get with the kid.” He nodded in Jerry’s direction. “He’ll get you up to speed, I have an op to plan.”

“Sweet.”

“You up for a tail?”

“On Arthur? Sure, where and when?”

“He’s going to leave sometime tomorrow for the snatch. I need you to follow him and get it on record, the snatch, the location he’s taking the kid to. It’ll be an infant going in and likely a 16 year old coming out.”

“I don’t think the teen will come out that day boss.” Jerry said softly not really sure if he should speak up.

@hausofobsession @ill-skillsgard @grandpa-sweaters @authentic90skidd @tuckersgirl @fairlyfallacy @flowers-in-your-hayr @raewritesfiction @stinkerbelle007 @kamie-b @mrsaugustwalker @skrsgardspam @loliwrites @trippedmetaldetector @lihikainanea @fay-walden

[wafflesetc]

I’ll be there for you II- Chapter 5 (previously)

A/N: It’s been a while. More like a hot second. It was much needed the time I took from writing some of my original stuff. I’ve been in a much better place and have been able to find my footing again. A special thanks to  @missclairebelle,  @kkruml, @walkinginland​ and @happytoobserve! Sometimes it really does take a village and I am so grateful to have them in mine. This chapter will be a two part arc, so hang on tight.  XO. 

The One With The First Fight Claire 

Late Tuesday Night

What was happening? I didn’t really know.

Was it something I could blame on the hormones? Probably. 

Was it something that was inevitable? Maybe.

Being with Jamie was something that was as easy as breathing. He was a missing half I hadn’t known I had even been missing. Our coming together was under less than ordinary circumstances, yet falling in love with your best friend-- that’s the thing I had heard about in movies. I had never seen myself falling for a red-headed Scot from the Highlands.

Truthfully, I hadn’t seen myself falling for anyone. Especially not when it came to the long haul. I had a plan for my life: medical school, residency, trying to save the world. I had always just had a plan for me.  I had never envisioned having to involve someone else in my hopes and dreams.

In retrospect, I had been self sufficient for so long that it almost hindered me. It was one of my greatest strengths, yet it was also my biggest flaw.  And while I had dated men off and on for long spurts, marriage had never seemed like it would happen for me. 

I also had not pictured myself becoming a mother, yet here I was. I had reached 17 weeks. The app on my phone said baby girl was the size of a pomegranate. I was starting to have some small stretch marks on my hips. My boobs were itchy and it seemed like every time I got on the scale the number just grew heavier and heavier. Not that I minded- because I didn’t. Our little lass was healthy, and that was all I could ask for.

So much had changed in my life in such a short amount of time. Things had been perfect… It was only right that something happened and a blow up occurred. The honeymoon phase couldn’t last forever.

My hand searched the vacant spot next to me. The sheets were cold and the lack of his presence set chills down my spine. He hadn’t come to bed yet- if at all. I reached for my phone and glanced at the screen - 2:08AM. No missed calls. No text messages. Nothing.

Hmmmm I mused to myself. Slowly, I got out of our bed and walked around our bedroom. No sign of the clothes he had been wearing discarded on the floor. It looked like nothing had been touched. I made my way through the living room and into the kitchen, no sign of Jamie anywhere. 

I could feel a sense of urgency and nervousness rising in the pit of my stomach. Surely nothing had happened to him- if it had, someone at the hospital would have called me.  They would. Geillis, no doubt. 

I took the plaid blanket from the edge of the couch and wrapped myself in it, waiting.

12 Hours Earlier (2:15PM) Jamie

“She hasna been home in almost 50 hours.” He looked to the right before entering the crosswalk. “I get she is a doctor, but it’s no’ just her she’s looking after now.  We have the bairn coming and I dinna think she should be on her feet this long.”

He heard John’s sigh through the phone and could picture the eye roll that went with it. “I heard you Jamie, but Claire is a smart woman. And she is a doctor… I highly doubt she would take any unnecessary risk that would cause harm to her or the child.” 

“Yer no’ helping me, man.” He clutched his phone a little tighter. “It’s my child too- I think I have some say.”

“I agree with you, friend. I think you have a right- as the father of the child- and as her boyfriend to have the discussion with her,” John let out a breath, “But remember it is her body and her career, ultimately she is the one who will make the final call.”

“I ken.” Jamie said, stopping in his tracks. He leaned against the wall behind him. “I just… I dinna want anything to happen to her or the bairn. When she’s home I can protect them but when she’s gone, I canna do a thing.” 

“That’s a natural response, Jamie. You two will find the balance- this has all been moving at a rapid pace and there’s been very little time for you or Claire to adjust.” 

“Aye” He mumbled, trying to listen to his friend. Logically he knew John was right but he was still slightly annoyed that his friend didn’t agree with him.” Weel, listen, I have to walk into a meeting here in a minute. I’ll talk to her tonight.” 

“Good luck.” John encouraged him as the call promptly ended. 

He gathered the last of his reserve, stashing his phone in his pocket and headed into his work meeting. 

                                                   ___________

He was tired- mentally, physically, emotionally. The work project he had on a deadline was wearing him out. It had been days of meetings upon meetings in person. It was late nights staring into his computer screen. 

And somehow, it was only Tuesday.

The start of the weekend hadn’t been bad. Claire had gotten home at a reasonable hour and spent the night lounging in his old shirt while watching medical documentaries on the TV. He had completed two work proposals with her feet in his lap. It had been decided they were ordering in- their favorite Thai place from right down the road. Later that night, she had fallen asleep in their bed with her head in his lap. The pressures from his job eased every moment he looked to find her presence close to his.

Saturday was a day she used to clean the apartment. Claire had turned on her 80s romcom playlist, still wearing his shirt from the night before. She hadn’t even bothered to wash her hair. He had set up camp on the dining room table. Papers and plans laid out all around him. There were no conference calls or videos to be had, but finalization of contracts and plans. 

His favorite thing about the day had been the sheer fact that Claire had decided not to wear any breeks. His shirt hung just past the bottom of her bum and every time she reached just up enough he caught a glimpse of her solid round arse. Her hips had been slowly changing becoming a wee bit wider. It was subtle and normal people wouldn’t see it- she was carrying her  pregnancy in her petite frame, yet with the changes there was just more for him to dote on.

“You like me just for my butt.” She quipped when she wiped down the last window. 

“Aye,”  He had said, closing his computer. “I am done for the day, Sassenach. It’s been the first real day we have alone and together. I dinna intend to spend it staring at yer arse, when I can fondle it.” 

“See if you can make me scream.” She challenged him. 

The next morning he woke to find her kneeling beside his side of the bed. 

“I don’t want to leave you,” She whispered, running her hands through his hair, “But I must. The hospital is short staffed and you,” she kissed the top of his nose, “Have some deadlines. I think we both are better off getting actual work done.” 

“Will ye be home, later?” His voice was husky with sleep. 

“I should be. I’m tired, I didn't really sleep last night thanks to you.” She smiled at him, her curls falling down the sides of her face.

“Mmmm, it doesna sounds like ye were complaining to me.” He reached his hand from under the covers and placed it on the small swell of her belly. “Take care of yerself, Sassenach.” 

“I’ll take care of the both of us, I promise.” She said in honesty. She placed a hand over his, squeezing it. “I know my limits.” 

The sound of her pager went off, reminding him of their goodbye. 

“I’ll call you on my break, love you!” 

It was the last thing she said as he turned over and fell back asleep.