#but at least make them fucking stop killing us instead of “that's just their government” justification

[beastblade69]

I see a cool artist who is not russian: ✨✨✨😘😘😘☺️☺️☺️

they repost posts made by russians (who aren't even hiding the fact that they're russian): 🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮

[decolonize-the-everything]

Ok, you seem to basically be saying project 2025 is inevitable so don’t vote because Joe Biden is evil. So then, how do we survive when contraception is made basically illegal, lgbt people are outlawed and possibly murdered, etc? Or are we supposed to just lie down and die?

These are two extremely specific scenarios that heavily play into self victimhood and narratives of powerlessness and frankly, I don't have the energy to pretend it's something else when there are a handful of rebels with literal fucking sticks fighting against a genocide being carried out by the world's richest powers.

You are neither a rebel nor are you fighting the world's richest powers with makeshift weapons or your bare hands. You are stressing about which box to check off in November, so my genuine advice is take your head out of your privileged asshole and consider that you have way more options than "vote" or "die" and lying to yourself about those being your only options is only gonna help you sleep for so long.

There are people like you and me literally fucking fighting for their right to live and exist, for their homes, for crumbs of food, dying for water, etc.

And you with your little American ballot in your hand have the audacity to say "should I just lay down and die" cuz I don't think you should check the Genocide Joe box???????????? And then you ask ME what IM going to do about it if cops possibly murder you when Trump is elected?

And you ask like that isn't ALREADY a daily reality for anyone living under Biden in the USA!!!!! We had protests for a whole fucking summer about police brutality cuz cops won't stop killing Black people! And they haven't stopped, you know.

So what was your answer when they asked us for our intersectional solidarity to save their lives? How much effort did you put in? Did you learn about mutual aid or direct action or how to protest? How to organize or draft demands so you can effectively make change year-round?

Cuz I remember how often those posts were going around. I know you saw some of them at least.

Did you make the effort to save someone besides yourself? Or did you think it was all unnecessary because you were fortunate to be wrapped in privilege?

You know, I didn't see one viral post from any white queer ppl saying "WE NEED TO (x) YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!" about defunding police departments or masking 🤧

What did you expect Black people to do when you didn't care enough to listen? When BLM stopped trending? What about Palestinians? Did you expect them to lay over and die? Did you think about what would happen if you abandoned them? Did you care?

But it matters now that you're on the other end, don't it?

ANY singular marginalized, oppressed group on earth can tell you letting them kill you has never been an option.

Stonewall didn't happen in a voting booth. Neither did the civil rights movement. Nor did our treaties. Even suffragettes committed arson and bombing campaigns.

We have never just laid down and let them kill our community or treat us like we are lesser. We have always taken what was ours because the nature of oppression is that you will never be given what you deserve, even if you vote for it.

"do we just lay down and die"

Liberation doesn't have a manual so I can't give you the step by step. But I assure that we will not find it through a bureaucracy and government built to silence, erase, and oppress us. And it sure as hell won't be found in a boomer that sleeps peacefully at night after killing children and denying genocide.

And the only fucking people that use others as stepping stones for their own comfort and well being are oppressors and fascists.

So additionally if you're sitting there upset because my morals don't bend for the privileged and you're thinking about how awful I am cuz I can't be convinced to justify killing people from Sudan and the DRC and Palestine instead of queer Americans then get fucked. Cuz you would be the EXACT type of person I loathe.

We are all in this together or you are with the oppressors. No more in between. We don't have the luxury of having the time to pretend there's any good reason to be a fascist apologist.

At this point, you're either fighting for progress and human rights or against it.

"are we supposed to just lay over and die"

If I die it'll be a warriors death and I think every single person on earth who has asked me "so what are we supposed to do?!" should work on having the same answer.

[skzhua]

We Going For the Win

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Bang Chan x Female!Reader

Genre: Zombie Apocalypse!AU, fluff, bit of angst. (The Last of Us vibes)

Word Count: 9,982

Warnings: Violence, swearing, mentions of sex/death/killing, drinking. (Not proofread yet!)

Summary: While being in quest of finding your childhood friend you have lost contact with ever since the start of the infection, your ex fling and ex smuggling partner involves you in a difficult situation. New friends and difficulties are waiting for you.

A/N: Might do a part 2 or leave it as it is... I don't know yet.

"Here." the man simply said while dropping the bag on the table in front of you.

He gestured at his men to open the door behind you as a way to inform you this little meeting was over. However, you didn't budge.

Instead, you took the bag to see the content of it, and frowned. "The deal was 10 silvers and a pack of cigarettes."

"No, no. The deal was 10 silvers and a pack of cigarette if you did the job correctly."

"Which I did."

He started to laugh before taking another shot of whiskey. "I asked you to steal the radio and get SKZ's location from them. You only got the radio. Therefore, you only get the cigarettes."

"You're kidding, right?"

He shrugged, fiddling around with his glass. Not answering your question, he poured himself another drink. Before he could bring it to his lips, you took his glass harshly from his grasp and threw it accross the room.

"What the fuck, woman!" he shouted angrily.

"You fucking asked me an impossible task, plus bringing you a most likely broken radio from the restricted area, made me infiltrate a fucking government base to steal infos and you're thanking me with fucking cigarettes." You slamed the bag in front of him, giving him a glare. "The deal included 10 silvers. I want them."

"Sweetheart, you know it doesn't work like this." he chuckled with a smug smile on his face.

You shut your eyes in disgust of the infamous nickname he gave you. "Don't fuck with me, give me the silvers."

He got up from his seat and signaled to his men to shut the door. The already stinky room was filled by the alcohol's odor, making you want to puke. How could this man drink so many shots without being dead already?

He paused a moment, looking at the ground, before he spoke again. "Do you want to find your little friend or not?"

"What does this have to do with this?"

"Y/N, I know you want the silvers to go across the country to find your friend. That is if he isn't infected yet, of course. What I'm saying is, there is a reason I'm not giving you those silvers."

"That's what this is about? About you not losing your best dealer?"

He laughed, again. "At least you know you're the best. Not only that but we have helped each other so much in the last six years. You're like a daughter to me, I'd hate to see something bad happen to you."

You smiled sarcastically. "And yet, you've sent me away to die thousands of times just so I could do the job for you."

"Because you are the best I have." he pointed out again.

You were getting tired of this. Frankly, you just wanted to get the damn silvers and go to bed. However, you knew the man and he wouldn't let you have what you wanted so easily. With that in mind, you seemed to have only but one option to get out of this.

"Alright then. I guess I'm not leaving today." you sighed, standing up from your chair. "I do want one thing if I don't get the money." He stepped closer with a curious look on his face. "I want to know if Changbin ever sends something on this radio."

He smiled. "Done deal." You nodded before heading towards the door. "And Y/N?"

You stopped on your tracks, rolling your eyes. "What?"

"I better see you tomorrow morning, I have another job for you."

Ignoring him, you resumed your way to the exit. Once outside, the sirens couldn't be any louder. In all of places, you had to be at the worst safe haven of the country where only dealers, smugglers, thiefs and many others lived. You were grateful your uncle was renowned enough for the other rebellious groups to leave you alone, but that also meant you had to do all of his work for him. If not, you were dead meat for sure.

When you arrived at your half torn down apartment, you jumped as soon as you walked in, as you were welcomed by an unannounced man sitting on your couch.

"Yeonjun, what the fuck?" you shouted, closing the door behind you. "I told you to not fucking burst into my place randomly like that."

"I know, but I kind of had nowhere else to go."

This was enough said for you to know he got in trouble, again. "Who was it this time? Beomgyu? Taehyun?" you asked while serving yourself a beer, offering one to your former partner.

He took the bottle and drank from it before talking. "Soobin."

You frowned. "I thought he was off to the west zone."

"So we thought, but turns out he had an encounter with SKZ, and he's been taken hostage. We tried to free him, but fucking stupid Beomgyu crashed into a pole and now all of them are taken away."

"And why are you here?"

He rolled his eyes. "To ask you for your help, obviously."

"No, I know that. But why are you not with them?"

"I jumped out of the car before it crashed. Hid until they all left and came here as soon as it was clear."

You shook your head in disbelief. "No matter how much I'm trying to cut you off from my life, you're still going to involve me in your stupid schemes."

"You're quite literally the best fighter, sniper, liar and also the prettiest I know."

You almost choked on your drink from his words. "We're not going to fuck again, Yeonjun. Stop with the flirting."

He held his hands up. "It was just a joke, relax. But for real, I really need your help."

"I don't deal with SKZ."

"They're just another gang, what's the big deal?"

"They're not feared by the whole country for no reason. I support their whole rebellion shit, but they're taking it a bit far."

SKZ were an anonymous group of rebels. When more people were starting to get infected, the government put the country in war mode. They established curfews, safe zones, duties, everything they could have control on anything that you could think of. As the years passed, they started to like this kind of power, meaning they did close to no research on a cure. Groups against the new regime started to form, but the most well-known of them was SKZ. Apparently, they were formed in the south part of the country, the area with the most infected. They ravaged headquarters, gathered information about the virus so their team could study them in order to find a cure. They had great intentions, but anyone on their way would be one of their victims. And that now included your ex-fling and smuggling partner's own gang.

"Y/N, please."

"No, I saved your butt enough times." You walked to your room and he followed you behind, still bombarding you with 'help me', 'this one time', 'please'... "I said no!" you grunted, closing the door on his face.

You dropped on your bed, sore from your morning task. As you were already starting to doze off, a creek from your door did not allow you to go to sleep just yet.

"Yeonjun, go away." you mumbled, eyes still closed.

The man didn't listen and sat next to your laid down body on the bed. "What if I say I can help you find Changbin?"

Your eyes shot open and you stared at Yeonjun. "Don't." you warned.

"Y/N, I swear I'm not kidding. I know where he is."

"How? You barely go outside of the limits."

"Just... Trust me on this one." he spoke softly. "Look, we've had our ups and downs and I understand how unreliable I am to you. There is one thing that I can assure you, and that is I never would mess with you with this. I know how much it means to you."

He took your hand in his and gave you one last pleading look. You were hesitant. You didn't know if you could trust him, but at this point, who could you really trust? Plus, Yeonjun has always been around. Even if he was a pain in the ass, he might be the only recurrent person in your life other than your uncle and his deals.

"If I learn this is a whole fucking joke-"

"I swear it's not!"

"But if it is... you owe me 1000 silvers, a car and your dead body." you smiled.

"So, you're going to help me?" he stared at you in shock.

"Yeah, sure. As if I have anything better to do."

As you were making your way up the ladder, you couldn't ignore the undistinguished noises Yeonjun was making as he was following you closely.

"Can you shut up?" you half-whispered.

"I didn't know you were thinking of leaving during the night. There is a fucking curfew, Y/N. You know what that means? Agents everywhere and going against the law!" he whispered back quite aggressively. "Also, how the fuck do you know the way to the other side from the sewers?"

"Okay, first of all, a curfew means no one's outside. Less chances of getting spotted. Second of all, we've gone against the law so many times, I don't get why you think it's a problem now. And third of all." you stopped climbing and stared down at him. "I've been outside the limits a few times. Now, are we done? Can we just move and get there before it's morning?"

Yeonjun's eyes went wide as he shook his head in yes. "My bad..."

Satisfied, you continued to climb up. When you finally reached the lid of the manhole, you pushed it up carefully, staying alert in case there would be agents on duty close by. Once you made sure it was clear, you pushed the lid so you could get out. You helped out Yeonjun and you both pushed the lid back into its place.

"Alright, so are you sure they went to District 9?" you whispered.

"For the nth time, yes." he said with annoyance.

"How are you so sure?"

"Dude, I heard them loud and clear."

"They might have said this to trick you?"

"Y/N, focus!"

You tried to remember the quickest way to the fences. Agents were everywhere, and what bothered you the most was Yeonjun not being the most careful, as he kept questioning you on why you knew how to get out.

Finally, you reached a part of the fences that surrounded the city. Yeonjun gasped in amazement, much to your discouragement. Sighing, you headed towards the underground tunner that some kids had dug a few days ago.

"Go first."

Nodding, Yeonjun followed your orders. Once he was on the other side, you copied his action and, soon enough, you both had crossed the limits. Once you got to the other side, you could already feel how different it was from the build closed community. The air was much heavier and actual forms of life were rare. There was already an infected who spotted you, who signaled to his other infect friend there was a meal for them.

"Shit." you muttered.

The monster was already running in your direction, and fast. You took a bar of metal that was randomly (and conveniently) lying at your feet, and you ran to it before swinging your weapon to his head, ripping it off its body. The second infected was next to head toward you and you instinctively pierced the bar through it, making it drop on the ground. When you turned back to check on Yeonjun, he could only stare at you with wide eyes and his breath unsteady.

"Now what?" he gulped.

"Follow me." you said, running towards an old building, visibly abandoned.

Only, it was just that. Visibly abandoned. As soon as you turned the corner, you were met with a bunch of men, four of them, masks hiding the bottom half of their faces while pointing guns at you.

"Fuck." Yeonjun said in a low tone while holding his hands up in the air.

"We were waiting for you." one of the men spoke.

"Oh, so them saying they would be in District 9 wasn't a trap?" you sarcastically asked Yeonjun, pettiness overflowing.

"I was convinced they didn't see me." he said in defense.

"We didn't." the man talked again. "But we knew you were there. Now, mind to follow us?"

"Okay, so now y'all are being polite?" Yeonjun scoffed and you kicked his leg. "Fine, let's follow them bluntly, I guess."

The men led you inside the building, holding onto your arms with guns still pointing at you. This was the exact reason you wanted nothing to do with SKZ, they could catch anyone and they were not afraid to use the weapons they had.

After walking endlessly in a hallway, you reached an elevator. You were surprised it was still functional, as most of the things in the infected zones were destroyed. Once the doors shut, one of the men pushed the button to the basement. Of course, it was the basement. You would've thought they'd be more original with where they kept their hostages.

"Are we meeting your big boss?" you asked in a joking tone.

"You're joining your friends." one responded.

When the doors opened, you didn't waste a second to take the gun from the man who was grabbing your arm, twisting it so he would let go. Hitting him on the head, he fell onto the ground. Meanwhile, Yeonjun copied you and also managed to disarm two other men. As for the last one, he held his gun to you.

"Don't waste my time, give me the gun." you said boringly.

He glanced at his friends on the ground, who were massaging their heads from the hits, and they all seemed to be in agreement to just let you be. They knew the others would take care of the both of you, anyway. You took the gun and didn't hesitate to give him a good punch in the face, making him fall next to his friends.

"Let's go." you nodded your head to Yeonjun.

As he was walking by your side, he started rambling again. "That, right there, was fucking awesome! There was a reason why I came to you for help. If it was someone else, I'm sure I'd probably be-"

"Dead? Yeah, well, you'll be if you don't shut up." you whispered loudly.

By the end of the hallway, you could see a large closed door that was seemingly locked. Pretty convinced it was where they detained the others, you made your way to it.

"I guess that's it." you mumbled.

When you reached it, you searched in your bag to see if you had anything that could help you open the door. Noticing you were short in terms of tools, you figured Yeonjun brought something that might be useful.

"Got something?" you asked, but when there was no response, you looked around and Yeonjun was nowhere to be found. "Jun?" you called out.

Just then you were suddenly tackled onto the ground. You met eyes with a young man with freckles.

"You don't look like an SKZ member to me. Who are you?" he asked, restraining you as you tried to push him off.

"Doesn't matter." you managed to breathe out.

"It does to us."

"I guess you'll have to find out another day."

Kicking him in his lower abdomen, you freed yourself and grabbed your knife from you bag. When you were about to throw it to the boy, a hand grabbed your arm, stopping your motion. The stranger twisted your wrist, loosening your grip on the knife. He took it from you and inspected it for a bit.

"Felix, go see if Minho, Jeongin, Hyunjin and Seungmin are fine." he said, his voice low.

The freckled boy, now up onto his feet, nodded and headed to the elevator you were previously coming down from.

"I didn't expect Yeonjun to bring a friend." he said, now talking to you.

He led you to the door you were trying to open not even 2 minutes ago. In contrary of what you thought, it was a simple empty room with a single lamp as its source of light. He threw you to the ground and closed the door behind him. He sighed loudly before walking to you, crouching down to be at your level.

"Now, as my friend asked. Who are you?" You only stared at him, not a sound slipping from your mouth. "Do you know why we took your friends?" No answer. "Why are you here?"

"For no reason, just to enjoy a different environment I guess, just like y'all do."

He didn't expect you to answer this time. "Looks like you don't know much about us, sweetheart."

You cringed at the nickname. Hearing it from someone other than your uncle was odd. Even just hearing it from your uncle was uncomfortable.

"Maybe I don't. Honestly, I don't give a fuck about who you are." You crossed your arms and gave him a bored look.

"Maybe you don't. Still, I think a little introduction can be helpful. I'm Christopher Bang, leader of SKZ." Unfazed, you were still staring at him. "And you are?"

"Tired and annoyed."

He chuckled at your answer. "I like you." He stood up and started to walk back and forth in the room. "I shall contimue then. SKZ is a group of rebels, as people call us, whose purpose is to take down the government's new policy in order to restore some sort of purpose among the population. We're also trying to find a cure for the infection and we, as you might have seen, have many people against us. Your friends were trying to get to our secret base to steal a drug we use during our experiments. They wanted to sell it to make profit off of it."

"Sounds like them." you huffed.

He smiled at your comment. "We've dealt with TXT before, but you're a new one. I've never seen you, I believe."

"Like I said, I literally don't give a fuck about y'all. I just do my thing on my side."

"Then, why are you here?"

"Ask Yeonjun."

Sighing at your lack of engagement in the conversation, he stopped walking around to turn his body to face you. "You took out half of my squad back in the elevator, I want to know who I'm dealing with."

Half? All this time, you thought SZK had hundreds of members around the country. There were eight of them? This new information was surprising, to say the least.

"Sweetheart?" he called out since you were not answering him.

"How-"

You were interrupted when the door opened. When your gaze shifted towards the door to see who had joined, your met eyes with the person you least expected to see. For a moment, you felt as if time had stopped as you exchanged looks.

"Bin?" you breathed out, your heart pounding.

There stood, alive and well, Changbin. "Holy fuck! What are you doing here?" he exclaimed, running to hold you into his arms.

His embrace was warm and felt like home. After so many years, you felt at ease and tears were streaming down your face.

"Where the fuck were you? I searched for you everywhere." you cried out.

"I'm sorry, baby. I'm here now, it's all good."

When you finally let go of him, he turned to Chris, who was clearly confused on what was happening. "Care to explain, Changbin?"

"She's her. She's Y/N."

Holding the ice pack to his head, Minho was mumbling some curses, still sore from your attacks.

"I'm sorry." you said shyly and he nodded his head in acknowledgement.

"So, Y/N." Chris started. "Can we do this interrogation again, please?"

You had moved to a small office, Minho tagging along. With knowing that Changbin was there, you felt more relaxed. However, it didn't stop you from being on your guard. Changbin might be a friend you've been looking for in the past 6 years, but him being part of SKZ changed things a little. You couldn't fully trust those men.

"Sure."

"Good. Who are you?"

"I'm Y/N. Been pretty much alone since everything started. I was a neighbour of Changbin and we grew up together. He was my closest friend. I've been trying to find him ever since the walls have been put up." you said, keeping it honest, but short.

"What I'm getting from this is that you're against the government as well?" he asked and you nodded. "Why were you with TXT?"

"I'm only here because Yeonjun quite literally begged me to help him get his friends. I didn't ask questions, I just wanted the job done."

"There was something in exchange?"

You paused, hesitantly, but nodded. "He said he knew where Changbin was."

From your answer, he got up and walked out of the room, leaving you and Minho alone. You smiled awkwardly at the man, who gave you a glare, still pissed at your previous encounter.

Outside, Chris had joined Changbin and Felix to talk. He didn't know what to do with you, and something was stopping from either releasing you, or finishing you off.

"Changbin." he called out and the man immediately focused his attention on his leader. "You know her. So, what's her deal?"

"I can't know for sure, I haven't seen her in years. She is colder than before, for sure. I doubt she is lying, though, but I can't be certain."

"Okay. What do I do with her? She might be lying and has tried to steal something from us."

"Honestly, Chan, I'd give her the benefit of the doubt." Changbin said.

With that, he went back to the office, encountering a rather uncomfortable silence between you and Minho. He coughed a bit before sitting back in front of you.

"Do you have any reason we should believe you?" Chan asked, continuing the interrogation.

"I'm repeating myself, but I quite don't care about what y'all do, and I am not fond of the authorities either."

"A reason we shouldn't believe you?"

"There are many, but one is that you don't know me."

"Your relationship with Yeonjun?"

"He used to work with me... and sleep with me."

"Have you crossed roads with any infected?"

"Two on our way here. I killed both."

"Did you get bitten?"

"Do you see a mark?

"No..." he trailed off.

This kept going for while, and Chan was strarting to be very precise with his questions, as he was wondering why you were on your own and why were you looking so desperately for Changbin. Until then, you were short with your responses, much to Chan's dislike. After a while, Minho, who had been observing the interraction this whole time, stepped forward to take the seat next to you.

Interrupting the conversation, he grunted in annoyance. "Chan, she seems fine to me. Can you just let her go? We're wasting time here."

"No wait." Chan paused, inspecting your traits. "I have some questions, concerning your skills."

"My skills?" you said, confused. "I think you saw them."

"I just know you knocked out my members, killed two infected, do some stupid deals in the city and fucked Yeonjun." he summed up while giving you a blank stare.

"Fucking is a skill?" you scoffed.

"I'm just repeating what you said, sweetheart. Now, skills?"

"I fight, I kill, I spy, I steal, I negociate and I lie." you listed and your last point seemed to grab Chan's attention. "Also, I don't owe shit to anyone."

"Have you thought of joining a group?"

"I told you, I'm on my own."

"But do you like it this way?"

You thought for a moment. Did you? "Yes."

Chan laughed and shook his head. "You're not so much of a good liar there, sweetheart."

You rolled your eyes. "Let's say I do fine alone but being alone can be rough at times."

Minho whined loudly once more. Not only did he have to listen to this whole pointless conversation, but he had to suffer from the tension happening between you and Chris, and he had to see his leader ask a hundred questions before getting to the point. It was very unlikely him, who would usually not bother talk and kill those who are on his path. With you, however, it seemed more like a game. It might be a fun one when in it, but Minho was done observing.

"He's asking you to join SKZ." Minho spilled out, going straight to the point.

"Thank you, Minho." Chan said, giving his friend a death stare.

Thinking about it, being on SKZ's good sad wasn't too bad of an idea. They are great fighters and took care of their business quickly, from what you've heard. Nonetheless, you still had your friends in mind, who remained detained at the moment. If joining the infamous rebels meant you could get them out, you might be able to help them out, after all.

"What do I have in exchange?" you asked, which took Chan by surprise.

"You would join us?"

You shrugged. "Depends on the offer."

"Of course, you'd ask something in return." Chan shook his head. "What do you want?"

"Release my friends. And give Yeonjun 1k silvers, he needs it. Also, I want to choose my own weapons and I still want to be able to do my uncle's deals. Last thing, I want to talk with Changbin, alone."

Chan looked at you curiously. You didn't ask anything for yourself, except talking with Changbin. For a world nearing its end, you were surprisingly selfless.

"Deal."

Yeonjun came to visit you a few days after. He thanked you a thousand times for what you had done for him but you weren't so happy with how things turned out. While you were close to punching Chan in the face, your friend had been nothing but grateful to the man.

"He really wanted to kill us, you know?"

You rolled your eyes while sharpening the knife you were gifted earlier that day. "I'm literally the one who saved you, but sure. Thank Chan for being such a good person."

Yeonjun frowned, hearing your tone. "You don't sound too fond of him."

"I asked for a moment with Changbin, and he still hasn't allowed me to stay in a room alone with him. It's almost been a week."

"You tend to be impatient-"

"I've waited for six years, Jun." you cut him off, pointing the knife at him. "I am patient, but I have limits."

He lifted his hands up in defense and sighed as you went back to sharpening. The building was so quiet, it was almost sickening. While you thought there would be more action in the group, there was almost nothing to do. Seungmin and Minho were in charge of looking into a cure and the remaining of them were mostly simply guarding the place. As for Chan, he and Changbin were nowhere to be seen.

"Do you know why he joined them?" Yeonjun asked.

"That's exactly what I'm wondering myself."

Just then, Felix walked in the room and took the seat next to Yeonjun, waving at you two. You nodded your head at him and focused back on the blade. Twirling it around, you sighed in boredom.

"Doing some training?" Felix asked.

"No, there's just nothing to do in this shithole." you deadpanned at him. "Weren't you on the lookout?"

"Changbin took over."

You huffed in disbelief. "It's as if Chris is doing everything in his power for me to not meet him."

"He will let you two talk eventually." he assured. "He's still on his guard with you, that's all."

"Sure." you spat out as you got up on your feet.

"What are you doing?" Yeonjun frowned, Felix having the same expression.

"I'm going to talk with Chan." you declared, walking towards the exit.

The boys didn't seem opposed to your idea, so they let you leave, although Felix did look more concerned. You had no idea where Chan could be. The building was so huge, you were barely starting familiarize yourself with the ground level. You soon spotted Hyunjin from afar and didn't waste a moment to run to him.

"Hey, Y/N." he smiled, his eyes almost closing.

"Do you know where Chan is?"

Startled by your lack of courtesy, he nodded his head nonetheless as he pointed to a door nearby.

"Thanks." you said as you left him there.

"He's with Seungmin, just saying." he yelled out but you ignored him.

You stormed into the room and the two men at your sudden entrance. While Seungmin got up with his gun pointing at you, Chan reached his hand out to him as a way to tell him to lower his weapon. You stared at him, unimpressed. He motioned for Seungmin to leave the two of you alone. As the door closed, he invited you to sit with him.

"What is it?"

You looked at him, baffled. "That's it? What is it? I know you know."

He nodded. "Changbin, isn't it?"

"Obviously..."

He shrugged. "What about him?"

"Stop messing with me, Chris." you warned, getting up to lean on the desk to get closer to him.

Sighing heavily, his shoulders dropped in defeat. Without adding another word, he stood up and gestured for you to follow him. You were skeptical of how easy it had been to convince him but didn't say anything about it. If you were just about to get what you wanted, there was no way you'd complain.

Chan made you follow for a good ten minutes. Turning left and right, going up and down the stairs... you were almost scared of getting lost. It was all worth it in the end, though. As soon as he opened the door to the rooftop, you spotted Changbin who wasn't doing much other than playing around with his gun.

"Bin." you called out and the man in question turned around, seemingly taken aback from your presence.

You mouthed a small "thank you" to Chris who answered with a quick nod before leaving, closing the door behind him. You let out a sigh of relief and went to go hug your old friend. As Changbin was still on duty, he returned the embrace coldly as he was watching around the building.

"What are you doing here? I thought Yeonjun was visiting you today." he asked.

"Fuck Yeonjun, I've seen enough of his face. What about you? I've nearly said a word to you since I arrived."

He chuckled, visibly still fond of you. "You haven't changed."

You shrugged, fully knowing you weren't the same person he once knew. "I guess I kept some of my old mannerisms."

He nodded slowly before looking to the view of the city you had. A moment of silence felt both good and torturous. He was right there, just next to you, and you weren't talking still.

"So? How did you get here?" you said, breaking the ice.

"Wow, going straight to the point." he laughed. "I don't know. After the evacuation, I was pretty much on my own. I still have no idea where my family is, if I'm being honest. About five years ago, I had a quibble with Han. It was over some food or whatever, I don't remember. Anyway, I beat him but it was cold that night so he offered to go back to his hideout. And that's when I met Chris. The guy saved our lives, I've never met someone quite like him."

You hummed as he finished. You were as much worried as he was about finding family and such. And that's what he was to you, family. The exact reason why you've been wanting to find him for so long. He was your comfort place, your home. Someone who had been there for you far more than your actual family.

"No." he spoke again. "He actually reminds me of you at times."

Seeing the knowing smile on his face, you cleared your throat as you grew uncomfortable. "So you thought of me..."

"Obviously. You were my closest friend."

Nostalgia hitting you right in the face, you smiled sadly to yourself. "These were the good days."

"They were. How did you even survive on your own, anyway? Six years alone, it must have been rough."

You could hear the worry in his voice which you almost took as an insult. You are small and lanky for sure, but you have always managed to do everything by yourself and with success.

"I was with my uncle for the first year before I ran away. I believe I was alone for about two years, which wasn't that hard. I made contacts everywhere and it became pretty handy. Then my uncle found me and we've been having this thing going on ever since. I do his deals and he pays me." you explained.

Changbin scoffed. "He's still around?"

You nodded. "After my dad got infected, he was pretty much all I had left. Except for you, who I have tried to contact for the past couple of years." you said, sending him a glare.

He held his hands up in defense. "It's not my fault SKZ is a secret organization. I would've put the whole team in danger if I answered your radio signals."

You crossed your arms on your chest. "A little sign of life would've been nice, though."

"Please, Y/N. I'm sorry, okay?"

A loud explosion nearby cut the conversation short. Looking to where it came from, you saw Felix and Jeongin hiding behind a wall while a crowd of infected people ran towards them. They had seemingly threw a bomb at them but it was clearly uneffective. Instinctively, you took Changbin's gun and went ahead with shooting the monsters who were the closest to the boys. Jeongin took a moment to spot you before nodding his head as a sign of thank you. While you continued to shoot, he grabbed Felix and rushed him to a building further away.

"Changbin, Y/N!" Yeonjun's voice said as it came from the door Chris had previously gone through. "The building's not safe anymore, come with me."

You rushed to follow him and walked down the stairs to get to a level where you could jump to the building beside. Changbin took his gun back and made sure to beat any infected with whom you'd come upon.

"Are Seungmin and Minho alright with the cure? And Chris-"

"They're all fine, now's not the time." Yeonjun shut you up.

A couple of levels later, you left the staircase to go find a window wide enough to go through. As it seemed to be a quieter place, you allowed yourself to calm down and take a look around. It resembled an old office room where workers would type all day about whatever.

"I never came here." Changbin informed.

"We didn't necessarily need this space anyway." Chris said as he walked in the room, limping slightly. "I've gotten everyone out, it's just us now."

"Where are the others?" you asked.

Chris let out a grunt from the pain his leg was causing but still took the time to answer you. "I don't know but we have a meeting point. We'll find each other again eventually. It is a shame, though, this place has been the longest settlement we've had so far."

"Oh, fuck." Yeonjun cursed before running to the doors, shutting them closed. "We don't have much time and the way to the next building isn't that simple."

"What do you mean?"

Changbin pointed to the hole in the wall. "It leads to a balcony. The plank of wood there can be our bridge."

You went ahead and helped him get the piece of wood, trying your best to get it out as soon as possible. Meanwhile, Yeonjun was trying his best to keep the door closed but as more infected came, it became harder. Chris wanted to help but his leg wasn't letting him. Helplessly, he watched Yeonjun struggle and you and Changbin doing everything to get out fast.

In his mind, he was already dead. He thought about Minho for a moment, hoping he had taught the younger man everything to take over his place as leader. He truly hoped he did. Because he wasn't going to make it. He would only slow everyone down.

"Man, come here." Changbin yelled at him.

"You'll have to go without me." he declared, feeling defeated.

This caught your attention and you went back to Chris. Seeing him so vulnerable, your heart sank. If he was like Changbin had described him, it would be a waste for him to die. With a determined walk, you went to his side and put his arm around your neck to be his support.

"What are you doing?"

"Saving your ass." you rolled your eyes before looking at Yeonjun. "Jun, we can go now."

Your friend's face was fully red, a result of his entire strength used to keep away the monsters. Even if he wanted to, he wasn't going to have the energy to join you and leave. And one glance at each other was everything it took for you to understand that.

"You've been great, Jun." you smiled sadly, not even feeling the single tear that left your eye.

He gave you a small smirk, the best he could give you given the circumstances.

With a heavy heart, you grabbed tightly onto Chris and dragged him all the way to the hole in the wall, and then to the improvised bridge you and Changbin made. The latter was already on the other side but he crossed back to give you a hand with Chan. You sat the man down so he could slide instead of walk. Once safely arrived, you hurried to join them and throw the plank down, preventing the zombie-like creatures to follow you.

Out of breath, the three of you dropped on the floor. You couldn't believe it, you had just lost Yeonjun. Sure, he wasn't your favourite person on Earth but he had never left your side for years. In a way, he was your safe space. An annoying one for sure but it hurt nonetheless. And without saying a thing, you let one more tear drop from your eye while being totally unaware of Chan's gaze on you.

Normally, you would have left the neighborhood entirely. But because Christopher was having an issue with his right leg, this was not an option. Staying at the highest floor of the building next to the old SKZ headquarters, you were pleasantly surprised by the arrangement of the space. Someone had stayed there for a bit but left their bedding as well as their canned food and magazines. Maybe this person died but it didn't matter to you at that moment. You were just grateful to have access to such a luxury.

You all had a long day and deserved a rest, and Chan needed it the most. You had bickered beforehand about who was going to stay awake in case of anything but you inevitably won the argument.

With the light provided by the lamp in the middle of the small room, you read out loud the words written on the pages. Boring was one way to describe the texts but it was better than nothing.

"-the release of the movie had been much awaited by fans from all around the world. At its first screening in theaters-"

"What movie?" Chris cut you off.

"Avatar 2."

He chuckled. "It was a big thing, wasn't it?"

"Movie theaters..." Changbin said dreamily. "Will we ever be able to have this kind if experience again?"

You could only roll your eyes. "This is mothing compared to our movie nights."

"Gosh, I forgot about those!"

Chan frowned. "You two were pretty close, yeah?"

Changbin grinned. "My whole childhood was with her."

"At its first screening in theaters, many complained about-"

"Let's do something else." Chan cut you off, snatching the magazine out of your hands.

"What else do you suggest?" you sighed, knowing there wasn't much to do.

"We can chat a bit, learn about each other."

Changbin shook his head. "We already know each other."

"I don't know her, and you might not be aware of some things about her too."

"Fine. Y/N, how's your uncle doing?" he asked, not expecting much of it.

"Head of the bounty group in the city. He's enjoying power and abusing people but at least he gives me some money from time to time." you answered.

"Let me guess, when you do the job for him."

You nodded and that pretty much shut the whole conversation. Well, for the two of you. Chris' mind was going through a whirlwind of questions to ask. He was fascinated by your ability to remain calm and unfazed but it surely meant you had gone through something that made you this way. He wanted to know what happened. He wanted to dig into your mind to find the troubled girl. He wanted to help her.

"Your parents died, no? How did you deal with that?"

Your jaw clenched and you noticed Changbin was ready to throw some fists. Surprisingly, you weren't mad that he dared to mention your parents. In some way, you had beeb waiting for an opportunity to think of them. Ever since they died, you didn't let yourself take a moment for them.

"I coped the best way I could. I mainly tried to forget about it but I miss them still, you know? And my uncle has always been an ass so it didn't help much that he was still alive, let's say. He's family but I would've rather not if I'm being honest."

Chan chuckled. "He seems like one hell of a persona."

"Believe me, he is."

"It reminds me of my own parents."

You frowned, intrigued. "Are they..?"

"Dead, yes. My sister too. I don't know where my brother is but he most likely didn't make it. I miss them too but I made my own little family now. And I won't lose them."

Your gaze softened at his words. Scary is definitely a good word to describe Chris but deep down, he was a simple guy wanting to do good to protect his friends.

"You're part of it now, you know?"

You cleared your throat, uncertain on how to react. "Right... Uhm, it's getting late. You two can sleep, I'll be on the lookout."

Changbin took the gun from you before you could stand up, sending you a look that said plenty to you. He was going to watch first. You let him do and looked at his back while he went to sit next to the closed door.

"I get why you took Bin with you." you said in a low tone to Chris while settling down on the small blanket next to him.

He laid on the mattress himself as he replied. "Why?"

"He's built like a bodyguard, mentally and physically."

"He is, but he was so vulnerable when I met him. I was in a similar headspace and with Han being the anxious guy he is, we were a unique trio."

You didn't expect him to open up like this about the past, especially not the beginnings of SKZ. The organization might be small, as you know now, but the power they hold is something. Knowing the slightest information about them could ruin their doings. But since you were a member, you guessed it didn't matter now.

"We had a different name back then, 3Racha. We thought we were clever but when the other guys joined, it wasn't a good fit anymore."

You laughed. "Good call on changing the name. Why SKZ, though?"

"Stray Kids, a good representation of us I think. We're wandering around with a purpose but, in the end, we're all children still."

You liked that way of thinking. You were about to ask more in terms of the formation of the group but Chris' grunt took you off guard. Wincing more as he wiggles around more, you sat up and leaned towards his body to check where the pain was coming from. From the way he was holding onto his leg, you could tell this was the issue.

"Can I take a look?"

While panting heavily, he nodded in a hurry as if he was begging you to make the pain go away. Carefully, you pulled the blanket off him and went ahead with rolling his pants up to above his knee. That part of his body had clearly gone through a slight fracture.

"Gosh, what the hell did you do?" you mumbled more to yourself than to him.

"I was pushed down the stairs by an infected, no bites though."

You started to massage his knee a bit but the wince he let out was enough to make you stop. Instead, you ripped a piece of your shirt, one long enough so you could wrap it around his leg.

"I don't know if this will help for sure but it will keep it stable for a bit. The more you move, the more it'll hurt and worsen." you explain was tying it all up.

Chris watched you in admiration. There was something about you that he hadn't seen before, softness. There was worry and care in your touch.

"Thank you."

You gave him a small smile. "We don't want our leader to suffer now, do we?"

"Suffering is part of the equation, Y/N. The sacrifices I make are for the others."

"For tonight, it might be good for you to feel at peace. We don't know what will happen tomorrow."

You said this as if this had not been the case for the last six years. Every day was an adventure with risks. However, now that the team no longer had a safe space, it was much more dangerous to be out in the forbidden zones.

"Sleep well, Y/N." Chan finally spoke up, laying down again.

"You too."

It took two weeks for Chris to be able to walk in some way. In that time, your trio grew to have a routine. You and Changbin would switch places every night for the lookout but he was most often out to get the food and such. That left you and Chan alone together for the majority of the time. You didn't mind, Chris was fun when he wanted to be.

You grew closer which made you both glad. You didn't feel like you were walking on eggshells every time you were around him anymore. Instead, you felt safe. He had the trick with words so he could tell you anything in the wisest way possible. That, or he was flirting.

Maybe it was due to his lack of action in the love department, but he would make flirty comments nonstop.

One time, Changbin left to see if he could get a hold of some medicine for Chan's leg. The moment he left, Chris was at it again.

"Now that he's gone, that leaves us alone again." he had said with an eyebrow raised.

This had to stop, now that you were on the move again. The sole focus had to be finding the other boys, and only Chris knew where to find them.

On the run again, you left your little temporary hideout that morning with only a couple of belongings with yourselves such as food and weapons. You were far away from the city now, leaving you wondering where the hell Chris had planned to go.

"Are we there yet?" you asked with a whine on purpose.

"No, I've told you." he answered calmly.

His patience was impressive but you were testing his limits. "How long do we have still?"

"More than expected if you continue complaining like this."

Changbin held back a laugh. For him, seeing the new dynamic his friends had was entertaining. The growth from being distant to joking around all the time was the last thing he would've expected from the two of you.

A couple of miles later, you settled down in an abandoned convenience store to take a small break. To your luck, some snacks were still intact as well as some beverages. This brought back memories from when you would demand sodas from your father and he would repeatedly tell you how bad it was for your health. Let's say it didn't matter anymore. Food was food.

"Look! They got ramen." Chris said, bringing a box full of them.

"Jackpot." you cheered, taking one pack for yourself.

"If only we have boiling water." Changbin pointed out but Chris coming from the back of the store with a boiler shut him off real quick. "Nevermind."

"It almost feels like we're robbing someone's safe place, this store has everything."

Chris shrugged. "We're not staying for long, just to refill our stomachs. We'll continue after."

Your eyes widened. "You mean we won't sleep?"

"Not tonight, we slept plenty last week. What, did you want to cuddle with me?" he winked at you.

"As if." you scoffed.

Changbin, feeling slightly uncomfortable by the tension, started to get the food ready. In the meantime, you and Chan kept an eye outside just in case. In no time, the three of you were on the ground, slurping on your noodles loudly. This might had been the first good meal you had in a long time. You really took instant noodles for granted back when you had easy access to it.

"Are you done?" Chris asked as he finished his bowl.

You and Changbin hurried to finish and you were back to walking again, not forgetting to pack a couple of items from the store.

It felt like you had been advancing for eternity without getting much closer. You were mostly silent, that didn't help. You were growing more and more bored by the minute and, visibly, both boys felt the same.

"Truth or dare?" you suddenly spoke, startling the guys.

"Uh, Y/N?" Changbin said, confused.

"Might as well make the most of this trip." you shrugged. "Truth or dare?"

Chan was the first to answer. "Truth."

"Do you really think we'll find a cure?"

He gave you a look, as if to tell you that you were being weird. "I think so, but it won't be a thing done by the snap of my fingers. Bin?"

"Dare."

"Hum the hapoy birthday song."

"Boring. Y/N?"

"Truth."

Changbin smirked at you, a sign he was uo to no good with his question. "Who's the most handsome in SKZ?"

You cleared your throat, keeping your eyes in front of you. From the side, you noticed Chan looking at you as he expected your answer more excitedly than he should.

"Uh, do I have to say?"

"Yes." both men answered.

You breathed out loudly and stopped on your tracks to look at them both. "You're all good-looking in your own ways but... uh... Chan is pretty nice to look at." you mumbled quickly before walking again.

Chan's smirk crept on his face before he jogged to catch up with your speed. Meanwhile, Changbin proudly tapped his own shoulder to congratulate himself.

"What did you say? I couldn't hear properly." Chris questioned, though you knew he had heard it perfectly.

"Don't make me repeat it."

"I'm pretty nice to look at? This might be the best compliment I have ever received." he snorted in a sarcastic way, earning a glare from you. "If it can help your case, you're pretty cute too, you know?"

If you could control it, you wouldn't blush. Never would you accept a compliment from Chris, even less after you were forced to give him one.

"Let's go back to walking in silence, shall we?" you suggested, ignoring the man completely. "Changbin, can I walk with you?"

He shrugged. "Nah, I'm good in my bubble."

You wanted to rip his head off at this instant but refrained yourself from doing so. Evidently, you had no choice but to continue to trip with Chan next to you.

"Ignoring people is rude."

"I'm not ignoring you." you defended, although it couldn't be any more false.

"It's not such a good look on you, baby."

Your eyes went wide immediately. In the spur of the moment, you shoved him to the side and fastened your speed of walk. You weren't even mad at the nickname. In fact, you kind of liked how bold Chris was. Anywho, you had no time to flirt, even less with the SKZ leader. Trying to recollect yourself, you focused on your breathing to being it back to a normal pace.

Only for Chan to show up again.

"It was a joke, I'm sorry."

"Uhm." you hummed, still not acknowledging him.

"Y/N..."

"It's fine, don't worry."

Feeling defeated, he didn't push it further. So you continued to walk, only hearing the wind and the sounds from your footsteps.

The warehouse was most likely a place they had previously chosen as a base. The equipment was still functional and tons of weapons had been hidden in a safe place under the floor of the basement. Heavy barbed wire all around on top of high fences, you wondered why they even left this place to begin with.

"Not discreet enough." Minho answered your question, which you had seemingly said outloud. "With all the heavy security mesures here, we are easily spotted by enemies. Sure, it's safer but we prefer places where we can work hidden from anyone."

You were glad the whole group made it to the safe meeting point. Jisung immediately went about taking care of Chan's injury while everyone gathered to figure out what to do next.

"We can always travel to the east part of the country?" Hyunjin suggested.

Seungmin, however, disapproved. "With an injured leader and a newbie on the team, we might want to stay close to the city."

"There's always TXT's hiding place." Jeongin shrugged.

It pinched inside to hear that group. You missed Yeonjun, more than you would have imagined.

"It's too small for you all." you argued.

"Yeah, I need the equipment for the research." Minho added.

"We'll stay here." Chan announced as he came back with Jisung. "We are almost done with the formula, we need a couple more weeks and it should be ready to test. I doubt we'll have issues until then."

"I added traps all around the base while we were waiting for the threesome people, we should be safe." Jisung precised before slumping down on a couch.

"Threesome people?" Chris repeated in a mumble.

"Yeah, like how Changbin was surely going to sleep with Y/N and Y/N and Chris keep eye-fucking each other nonstop."

"We got the point, thanks Jisung." Jeongin stopped him, which you were grateful for.

"She's like a sister to me, that'd be so wrong." Changbin continued.

You sent him a glare but he ignored it. "No one's slept or will sleep with anyone."

"Hmm, you'd be surprised." Hyunjin argued.

"I don't want the details."

Chan clapped his hands together, shutting the conversation. "Can we get back to work?"

Everybody went to their position: Felix and Jeongin on the lookout on the roof, Changbin at the entrance, Jisung and Hyunjin in training, Minho and Seungmin on the cure...

You were left alone with Chris in his new office. With a radio at hand, you were trying to catch any signals of new research found about the virus of potential visits from enemies that you could prepare for. It wasn't that exciting other than hearing people talk.

"Y/N L/N... works for... reward of..." you heard while tuning in the radio.

You had completely forgotten about your uncle, even more the load of work you still had to execute for him. In a moment of panic, you stood uo and paced around the room, looking for your stuff.

"Woah, Y/N." Chris said, standing up as well.

"I have to go back." you announced, breath unsteady.

"What?"

"My uncle, he's gonna kill me if I don't finish his deals."

He frowned. He had tried to understand why you were so insistent on continuing to work for that guy. From his point of view, nothing beneficial for you. You would receive much less than what you deserve, get treated like shit and live in a shitty torn down apartment.

"You don't have to-"

"You don't understand." you interrupted him. "That man is the reason why I'm still alive. I did all of his work and he allowed me to get by in exchange. I let him down, he can ruin my name. He has contacts, I know he will kot hesitate to-"

"You don't have to." Chan repeated. "You're not there anymore, you're not trapped. Look, I don't know what happened with the two of you but I think he might have manipulated you. Telling you that you owe him for what he did for you? You don't owe him anything, he's the one who owes you. You do all of his dirty work for a few silvers and do it all again the next day. And what if he ruins your name? You can't be found with us. Well, your chances are low let's say. You're safe."

You hadn't noticed he had taken your hands in reassurance until you felt his thumbs rubbing against your skin. This might had been the first time someone had touched you like this, so intimately. As much as it was a foreign sensation, you felt as if there was nothing else but you and him. As if a bubnle had created around you. As tears dropped from your eyes, you took in what he just said. For years, you believed you had no choice but to give back to your uncle for lpoking after you, when in reality, he had never done anything but use you. Chan was right.

You let out a chuckle. "In a way, you saved me. By recruiting me."

"In a way."

You stepped forward, getting closer to him. So close that you could smell him. He smelled fresh and new, nothing like someone who spent years being a rebel. Looking up to stare back at him, his gaze had moved down to your lips. So you looked at his lips too and, slowly, you moved closer to each other until you kissed.

It was nothing like you had experienced before. There wasn't just lust and want in the kiss, there was anger, sadness, relief.... It wasn't a clear mix but it felt good.

"I'm sorry, I don't want to seem to take advantage of the situation or-"

You shushed him with a small peck. "You're not, I swear. Look, I don't do great at relationship stuff but-"

It was his turn to cut you off as he let out a laugh. "There is no pressure."

For a moment, you could only smile and stare at one another. This was simple, easy. You loved it, actually.

"... vaccine in development..." the radip glitched, grabbing both your attention. "... no cure found... coming from yeast... mores tests..."

Chan took a deep breath. "I think the guys are going to like that information."

"What do you mean?"

His smile grew bigger. "We know the source of it now. If the guys can combine the source with the developped molecule, we might find a way to prevent it from evolving."

"So..?" you asked again, still not fully understanding.

"We're near the end of it all, Y/N."

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[newnlovesjennie]

one piece au where literally nothing went wrong everyone is alive and happy hc's

nami

belle mere is still alive obvi

the attack on her island was less of an attack and more of like a alliance? like the fishman pirates pulled up and were like hey we need a hideout can we pls use ur island. and they were like yeah offer us protection and in turn u can use our island! no violence no blood nothing!!

in this au fisher tiger is still alive and the fishman pirates are still what he envisioned before his death, so he’s the captain, not arlong

speaking of arlong he’s like hella toned down. he got the jinbei affect in the sense that koala changed him and showed him humans aren’t all bad. yeah sure he’s more radical and unhinged than the other pirates but he’s just like the weird conservative uncle you tolerate at thanksgiving not a real threat

hachi and nami bonding!!!

nami never develops an obsession with money, she gets to put her full effort into map making and exploring that talent

she makes maps for the fishman pirates completely out of her own free will

she joins the movement for fishman human equality woohoo!!!

yeah in this au that movement actually gets taken seriously instead of played off and the fishmen actually make progress in equality 

koala visits sometimes! koala and nami bonding time!!!

law

doflamingo is toned down like 1000% in this au he’s not a family killer in this one he’s just odd

like seriously idk how the logistics would work but maybe somehow after the whole “doffys family becomes human” thing the humans don’t persecute him? so in turn he just kinda is pretentious and misses being rich instead of holding a particular grudge against humanity?

either way he’s also just the weird conservative uncle you see at thanksgiving 

corazon is number one dad ever did he offer law henny for his 8th birthday yes does he know how to do laundry or cook not at all but he is trying his best!

LAW BABY FIVE AND BUFFALO AS COUSINS. PLEASE!!!! dellinger too maybe idk if he’s a kid or not tho

the executives like trebol diamante whatever the fuck also aren’t as evil either they just tryna do their own thing yk just black market deal in peace but no unnecessary killing 

donquixote family stays pirates instead of going and trying to take a whole kingdom (took a shit ton of convincing for doffy to accept that)

the whole pirate warlord thing gives doffy enough prestige he don’t need to be a king necessarily 

law eats the op op fruit, doffy tries to get him to make him immortal, corazon slaps him, doffy changes his mind

(i am taking so many liberties in this au omg)

zoro

kuina didn’t fucking fall down a flight of stairs!! yippee!!!

their whole competition abt who will be the greatest swordsman is still on

they venture outside the dojo and become pirates

both bounty hunters maybe

kuina is so so gay

hear me out…. kuina x tashigi? LET ME COOK

yeah zoros just there

they find their way to mihawks island without the whole kuma blasting zoro to a random island thing

they beg mihawk to train them but he’s like wtf get out of my house but they show potential and he’s like ok fine ill train y’all 

persona is also there bc i said so FUCK MORIA ALL MY HOMIES HATE MORIA she left him and somehow ended up with mihawk he also let her stay for some reason (he needs to stop adopting kids)

hear me out…. perona x kuina? or at the very least they become besties

once again zoro is just there

robin

olvia and saul are still alive

all of her island is still alive, don’t ask why the world government is ok with that they just are shhhh shhhhh 

robin grows up an archeologist but decides she needs to find the poneglyphs and discover the truth of the world

so she becomes a pirate and joins baroque works, led by crocodile

he respects her (WHAT) doesn’t try to kill her (WHAT) and they actually have a fun friendship a friendly lil boss secretary relationship its adorable

she helps crocodile get with doffy because god knows he couldn’t do it himself

ok if this is how this au is going robins gotta be besties with bon clay come on. mr three hello?? 

[marley-manson]

Crusader is SO good, god.

Like it's a tragedy that Najara's second appearance was such a character-assassinating downgrade, instead of her becoming a recurring antagonist and foil to Xena, posing difficult to answer moral questions and tempting Gabrielle. But this episode in and of itself is easily one of my faves.

Like first of all it's a fantastic gay love triangle. it's poignant, with Xena sad but willing to leave Gabrielle with Najara at first, because she thinks Najara will be better for Gabrielle. And she might not be wrong! Like not only do we have the vision of Gabrielle's death at Xena's side to contend with, but Xena tried to murder Gabrielle once before, and this episode brings that up. Xena has had other moments of losing her shit and hurting Gabrielle too, physically and emotionally - The Reckoning, The Price, as well as at least one future episode. Najara, as seen in this episode, is the safer choice of girlfriend, even with her own moral ambiguities. It's emotional, it's interesting, it kicks ass when they beat the shit out of each other over Gabrielle... A+

And as a foil for Xena, Najara is fantastic. I love that this episode ends on an ambiguous note. Xena and Gabrielle aren't fans of Najara's executing people if they don't repent thing, and it is morally quite dark. But Najara isn't wrong when she points out that Xena kills people constantly herself, and that local justice systems leave something to be desired. You can't turn a slaver over to a government that supports slavery, and most "governments" in Xena's setting don't seem to be the fair trial type anyway.

Like yeah Najara's methods are fucked up and I personally think killing in the heat of battle is more justifiable than executing prisoners, but it's a worthwhile discussion.

I love that it ends with Najara steadfast, pointing out that the slavers Xena delivered to "justice" will probably get off with a bribe, and denying that she massacred a village, the thing Xena turned her over to the authorities for (and considering she tells the truth about everything else this episode, even the less savoury things, I think we're meant to believe her.)

And I loooove that the episode really leans into Xena's moral ambiguity. The scene where she returns for Gabrielle is set up to hide the fact that Gabrielle's endangerment at Xena's hands is a ruse from the audience as well as Najara. We can figure it out ofc, partially through LL's slightly hammy performance lol, but the possibility that she has legitimately snapped is left open for a while, and it's not completely impossible to believe after the episode has just reminded us that Xena once tried to murder Gabrielle. We know Xena can go to some pretty dark places, and this scene is a great reminder of that, to keep us on edge, and make us wonder for a moment who Gabrielle is better off with.

And then imo the best moment of the episode: Xena has defeated Najara, she's dangling by her fingers off the edge of a pit, and Xena looks down at her and then steps on her fingers. Not a threat, not a mean 'gotcha,' but a full weighted step before Gabrielle tells her to stop and Xena relents and pulls her up. Like, after making a whole moral issue over Najara executing helpless prisoners instead of turning them over to the local authorities to be tried, Xena then proceeds to actively attempt to murder a helpless Najara in cold blood, because - one assumes - she's still jealous of her bond with Gabrielle.

I love it so much.

Honestly if Najara was actually Middle Eastern rather than the show just appropriating the aesthetic for a white woman (and if the camera wasn't bizarrely zoomy during the fight scenes lol) this would be a perfect episode imo.

[excessive-vampires]

Dealing With Demons Chapter 15: Raising the Stakes Part 2: Cee

Masterlist with CW

Taglist: @demyxdancer @softvampirewhump @d-cs

A little ways away from me, Riley called a bunch of different very official people and told them that we needed all the help we could get. 

Chewing my bottom lip, I wondered if Cliff had been trying to kill me. He knew that Riley’s team had been the ones to drag me out of his weird evil ritual basement, so my being at the Bureau base was a safe assumption. Hell, I had been there just a few minutes before the explosion. Cliff had said that my existence would make whatever he was trying to do easier, but that didn’t mean that he couldn't perform the ritual with me dead. Maybe he had decided the risk outweighed the reward. 

I wasn’t scared of dying, not since meeting Avi, though I definitely wanted to stay alive for as long as possible. But I was afraid of Avi being destroyed somehow. If I died then we lost my body and the life we had worked so hard to build which would be a real fucking bummer, but if they died, though, I would lose them. I couldn’t lose them. I couldn’t do this on my own, it was why I had summoned them in the first place. 

I felt panic starting to rise in me and made myself take deep breaths. The last thing I needed was to spiral into an anxiety attack. Especially while I was alone. 

Avi wasn’t going to die. That’s what I told myself over and over again. Riley and a team of government agents, and me if I could help it, were going to storm into Cliff’s house and save them and Dezi and Clara and Maximilian and Andrew Bell and Ceasar and everyone else. Everything was going to turn out fine. It had to. I sold my soul and my body for a chance at happiness and like hell was I going to let one power-hungry man take it away from me. 

Riley walked over to where I was standing. 

“A joint task force will be ready in twenty-four hours.”

“A day? We don’t have a day!” 

“You don’t know that.”

“Oh right, because Cliff would definitely give the organization trying to stop him time to recover before enacting his evil plan.” 

“Well, it’s not like I can do anything to make them get their shit together faster.” 

“Then we’ll have to do this ourselves.” 

“How the hell are we supposed to do anything to stop Mason? Neither of us can even cast spells!” 

“What about your amulet? You can use artifacts!”

“This amulet was enchanted for me by my grandmother, even if we could get to the Bureau’s vault somehow any other artifact would be useless in my hands!” 

“Whatever! You’ve been studying magic your entire life, and my body has been used as a conduit for magic for five years, we can figure something out!” 

“No! This is crazy!” They started to turn to walk away. 

“Riley! For once in your life, step off the sidelines!” I threw my hands up in the air in anger and for emphasis. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Riley turned back to face me. 

“You’re passive! You just let things happen to you without taking an active role in your life!”

“I’m passive? You sold your agency to a demon because you were too lazy to fix whatever was wrong with your life the right way!” 

Anger flared up within me like the start of an inferno. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Oh really, when’s the last time you actually tried to repair any of the relationships in your life instead of running away?”

“When’s the last time you talked to your parents?” 

Riley took a step back. “That’s not fair.”

I took a step forward. “Isn’t it?” 

“You’re telling me there was no one in your old life who truly cared for and understood you?” 

Bev’s face filled my mind, I felt nauseous and turned away from Riley. “This is pointless.”

“No, get back here.” They grabbed me by the shoulder and turned me around. “So there was someone important to you that you just left? Did you even say goodbye? At least I’ve never been that cold.”

I punched them in the gut, and when they bent down in pain I punched them again in the face. 

I felt the small bones in my hand crunch as sharp pain lanced up through my arm. I didn’t scream though, I made no sound other than a harsh hiss. As far as I could remember I’d only ever screamed in pain once, as a teenager, after tripping and landing on my elbow when I fell. And that was met with a scolding about how the neighbors would call the police if I didn’t quiet down. Since then all the screams inside me always got stuck behind the fear of being innapropriate. It hurt just as much as the broken bones to know I still had that fear. 

“Shit, what is your problem?” Riley straightened up, rubbing their face. 

“Don’t you dare think you know what I’ve been through!” The tightness in my throat almost strangled my voice.

“Okay, I’m sorry.” They seemed surprised to see me close to tears. Then they saw me clutching my hand. “Great, now I have to take you to the hospital.” 

“No.” I had an idea. 

“No?” 

“I think… I think I can heal it.”

“Cee, healing magic is the most complicated magic there is, you could seriously fuck up your hand by trying this. Besides, how would you even draw the rune?” 

“I don’t need a rune.”

“Fantastic, you’re delusional.” 

“Listen! I remember how it felt when Avi would heal me. I remember the feeling of tapping into the mana of a soul and bending it into the shape it needed to be with just a thought instead of a rune. I just need to do that with my soul, and then I can heal my hand.” 

“So you’re raising the stakes from fucking up your hand to killing yourself.” 

“I can do this! I know it. Just shut up so I can concentrate.” 

“Cee—”

“Shut up, Riley!” 

I shut my eyes and focussed until I could feel the mana radiating from my soul. I remembered the way it felt for my skin and bones to knit themselves back together in seconds and I remembered the pathway the mana took through my body to make that happen. Then I took my soul into my metaphysical hands just like I remembered Avi doing with the souls of others and molded it to fit my needs. 

The bones in my hand snapped back into place and the pain faded. I opened my eyes and immediately the world started spinning. Suddenly I was on the ground and Riley was kneeling in front of me. 

“Cee?! Cee, are you okay?” 

I held up my healed hand and wiggled my fingers. “I did it!” 

“Holy fuck.” Riley helped me up.

“It just took a lot out of me. But this proves my point! We don’t have to wait for everyone else to come save us! We can stop Cliff ourselves!” My success had just strengthened my determination to save Avi. 

“No. It’s still a suicide mission. And one that we’ll fail.” 

“But we have to at least try!” I begged. 

“Why? What good will trying do if we know we can’t win?” They sounded as if they’d already been defeated. 

“We won’t know we can’t win unless we try! Would you rather spend the rest of your life regretting not doing something just because you’re afraid of the outcome?” Maybe that was hypocritical, but I didn’t care.

“Okay, you can do magic, but what about me? I’d just be a burden in a fight.” 

“You’ve been around magic your whole life, you know the theory and the runes and the process. You should be an incredibly powerful caster, we just have to figure out what’s holding you back.” 

“There’s nothing holding me back, I just can’t do it!” They tried to walk away again but I stepped in front of them and got in their face as much as I could considering the height difference between us. 

“Everyone can do magic! I never even knew magic existed before I found a spellbook and I still managed to summon a demon!” 

“Well, I’m not you.” Riley frowned and looked away. 

I huffed. “Alright. You’ve tried spells before, right? What went wrong?” 

Riley looked like they were going to try to change the subject, so I gave them my best glare. They relented. “I draw the rune, I picture what I want to happen, I try to bring forth my mana, and I can feel it. I just can’t do anything with it.” 

“Why not?” 

“I don’t know!” 

“Yes you do!”

“No I don’t!”

“Think!” I grabbed Riley’s shoulders. “What’s stopping you from taking that last step?!” 

“I’m scared, okay!” They pulled away. “It’s scary to take what you are and try to shape it into what you need it to be! What if something goes wrong? What if I get hurt? What if… what if I’m not enough?” 

“Riley…” How should I word my response? “Do you really want to spend your entire life hiding because of a problem that might not even exist? You are enough. Whether you can do magic or not. But that won’t matter if you don’t even try to do your job! Help me save everyone!” 

���You’re being selfish, you know. I’m just a researcher, it’s not my job to risk my life and no one I love is in danger.” 

“What if Sil dies? How will you feel then if you didn’t do everything possible to stop the man that killed her?”

For a second I thought Riley was going to return the punch I’d given them, but then they deflated. I decided to keep pushing.

“Riley, you’re a good person, I know you are. You know Cliff is hurting people and you want to help stop him whether he hurts your loved ones or not. So help me. Please.”

Riley looked down and for a minute I thought I’d fucked up and said the wrong thing. I thought I’d have to try to rescue Avi alone. Then they looked back up, their face a mask of grim determination. 

“Okay, I’ll try. And if I can manage to cast a spell, I’ll fight him with you.” 

“Yes! Thank you!” I almost laughed in relief. “Okay, do you have something to draw with?”

They pulled a washable marker out of their pocket. “I keep an extra, for Sil.” 

“Good. Now, what’s the easiest spell you know the rune for?” 

“I think…” They uncapped the marker and drew on their palm. “There. Light.” 

“Okay, now cast it.” 

Riley held out their arm, clenched their jaw, and stared intently at their hand. 

“Riley, if you’re trying to copy Sil this won’t work, you have to cast it like you.” 

“What does that even mean?” 

“Whatever you think it means.” 

Riley sighed. They held their hand in front of them, palm up, and closed their eyes.

“You can do this, Riley. You just have to trust yourself.”

They took a deep breath, and another, and another. They held their breath for a moment, and as they exhaled their palm began to glow. 

“Riley, it’s working!” 

They opened their eyes and started laughing. “Oh my god! I just did magic! An actual spell!” The light went out as their concentration broke. 

I was overjoyed that I’d have help, but I needed to focus on the mission for now. 

“Alright, no time to celebrate just yet, wipe that off your palm and let’s get you runed up with spells that will actually be useful.” 

[paperstorm]

I don’t feel comfortable coming off anon cause honestly some parts of this fandom have been fucking brutal if you express anything outside of falling exactly in line with how they think you should feel. Zero nuance allowed. My ask was in response to you referring to the “Isreal propaganda machine” as one of the “biggest in the world” and that just felt really close to another form of the “Isreal owns the media.” antisemitic tropes I was referencing. I don’t think you meant it that way but other people certainly do. and what I meant by sources about the human shields is that I genuinely haven’t seen anyone explain how that is propaganda? I’ve seen very reputable info about how Hamas does in fact store bases and supplies nearby and beneath places like schools and I haven’t seen any good information or sources explaining how that isn’t true (sources other than “Hamas spokesperson said this”)… and I was just asking for sources to link to if you had seen that information somewhere so I could be better educated. But almost immediately after I sent that I went and did my own research. I don’t think I have the same conclusion as you but maybe we’re taking “human shields” to mean something different. (but also I’m not saying this would excuse any kind of violence btw. human shields or not, the air strikes need to stop)

Ah okay, that may have just been unartful language on my part and I will be more careful with that.

I don't have specific links on hand because this is an opinion I have developed over many years of reading on this issue but I will explain what I mean about the human shields thing, so at least you know where I stand on it.

Israeli leadership often claims that they have no choice but to bomb hospitals and schools and residential buildings because Hamas is hiding in them, that is the essence of the ‘human shields’ claim. And as far as I know, it is a factual claim that Hamas militants are in those kind of buildings. But there are two points I think are important to contextualize this claim.

The first, is that Palestine is not a real independent state. It does not have sovereignty in any of the ways we use that word. It doesn’t have a capital city. It doesn’t have an elected central government or an independent judiciary. It has no control over its own resources (the mere fact that Israel can cut off fuel and water is deafening evidence of that, because what other country has the ability to cut off water to another state?) Where this comes into play in this conversation is that Palestine has no military, due completely to the occupation and Israel not allowing it to be a sovereign state. This is not in defense of Hamas. They are not defensible and any leftists pretending they’re freedom fighters immediately lose any credibility in my eyes. But it is factual that Hamas operates in residential areas instead of military bases because military bases have not been allowed to exist.

The second, and more important, point, is that I don’t accept that a terrorist potentially being in a residential building is justification for dropping a bomb on it. Extrapolate that logic to any other situation. Let’s say the FBI thinks Ted Bundy is maybe hiding in a 20-storey apartment building. They don’t know this for sure, but they claim to have intel (which they refuse to make public) that shows he’s in a unit on the third floor. Does that give them permission to drop a bomb on that building and kill all 300 people who live there? If it turned out they were right and Ted was among the lifeless bodies they pulled from the rubble, would they be allowed to say “see we got him, so we made the right call and had no other choice”? I would argue, fuck no. Tbh I kind of don’t know how to empathize with someone who would argue yes. But that is the argument the Israeli government is making when they cry human shields. They’re saying they have to slaughter thousands of children, because a Hamas militant might be hiding in that elementary school. It is my opinion that that’s indefensible, regardless of whether they’re right about the presence of Hamas.

[party-gilmore]

Check ALL The Warnings In The Tags If You’re Ducking Below The Read More.

DISCLAIMER: This is a post about me specifically and my broken fucking brain. I am not trying to make any sweeping statements about colonizer guilt or “activism burn-out,” of which others have made EXCELLENT points and i am not trying to draw away from those conversations at all. This is specifically about how my panic disorder and suicidal ideation are making it difficult for me to safely manage my level of involvement and interaction online, at the expense of the ability to actually put in the work for change out in the real world.

OKAY.

Last post on mobile. Tumblr is officially deleted from my phone. we are on Set Amount Of Time A Day - PC/Desktop only for a while.

To be very clear the point of this is not looking for sympathy or trying to be guilt trippy, just trying to get a hold of where my head’s at and let y’all know I’m not gonna be around so much but that I’m okay. Or least, this is me TRYING to be okay.

i CANNOT let the doom-scrolling keep affecting my ability to actually do anything that might actually help. The way i’ve been interacting on this site, trying to Stay Informed but blurring that line and crossing into constantly seeking more and more details that i NEED to admit i can’t handle, whether it’s the level of detail or the constantness of it or both…

the paralysis and anxiety and panic and - there’s an actual word for when you keep vividly imagining the absolute worst possible outcome but i can’t remember what it is, probably something else starting with “doom” - anyways the point is i clearly don’t have the ability right now to:

a) have any kind of ready access to The Horrors without making it… LITERALLY constant in my life. i don’t have the control to take it in measured doses, i need to recognize that if i have any kind of access all the time it WILL be a 100% deep dive nothing but the fucking trauma and abominations being inflicted on others in detail from the moment i get up until i finally clear my head enough to sleep for a few hours. which yeah i KNOW Palestinians in Gaza don’t GET that luxury it IS 24/7 all the time for them and I wouldn’t be complaint about that at ALL honestly if it weren’t for the fact that right now CLEARLY i do not have the fucking ability to

b) stop that from paralyzing me from any Real Action. It just locks me up. It SHOULDNT i should be able to compartmentalize that shit because physically for now i am fine my family is fine but instead i just fucking sit there , blankly staring as I scroll through atrocity after atrocity after atrocity that powerful governments are supporting, feeling like i cant do shit cuz it’s just getting worse and worse, then guilty that i feel like giving up, then GUILTY that i feel guilty because who am i trying to guiltrip here who CARES if I feel guilty when i’m not in the same situation they are they have it so much worse and they keep on going what would YOU do in that situation huh if you can’t even handle THIS - then that kicks of the vivid imaginings of me and my family experiencing that kind of slow death and dismemberment and being crushed by rubble then of course because we’re in america close to dc my brain jumps to nukes and how we’re in the zone JUST far away enough from DC for it not to kill us outright it would be slow and horrifying and painful and could i bring myself to at least get in the car and make it up to them so we could at least die together or would it be alone and afraid like all these people around the world are going through, that Palestine is going through, that my government is putting them through -

anyways it’s that spiral that keeps me sitting and scrolling and sitting and scrolling and wallowing in - what i genuinely thought was me just being a shitty fucking person but i realize now was actually genuinely - an anxiety attack (that’s the one that’s slow and creeping, right? panic is the fast sharp one) like an actual physically can’t shake myself out of “i forgot my brain was fucking broken, the adhd meds aren’t gonna magically fix everything” anxiety attack. Every goddamn day.

And let me be very clear again about my point here my point is not to try and guilt trip or garner sympathy my POINT is -

I cant do the kind of shit that actually helps anyone, in real fucking life, if I keep sending my brain into lockdown panic “All Is Lost, You Suck, Just Fucking Die” mode.

I want to be better, do better, be stronger, not have to look away at all. But I can’t trust myself not to fucking…. wallow in the goddamn despair of it all right now. So I need to take that option away.

Because who’s it really for, honestly? All the sharing and the posting? There’s a limit to what actually helps. The people following me have already made up their minds, one way or another. Sharing more of the same old shit isn’t going to actually CHANGE anything. Once youre through the new information of the day, the shit people actually need to know that they might not already… it feels like it’s just fucking… performative bullshit. like it’s all about making sure people SEE you still sharing all of this stuff. Oh look i’m still involved see how involved i am see how i’m still reading and sharing and posting all this stuff arent I a Good Activist?

What does any of that matter if it’s breaking my brain so much I can’t actually do any activism???

I would rather be considered weak and selfish by strangers on the fucking internet who don’t see me sharing as many posts as they think I should, but who ACTUALLY KEEPS WRITING the emails and MAKING the calls and SEEKING OUT events and disruptions and protests that maybe i can actually PARTICIPATE in

Than to keep showing off how i’m not “Looking Away” online but then spend every night sitting on my couch doing Fuck All about it, locked in a perpetual doom scroll through my For You page, imagining my flesh slowly burning and melting off as I hoist my whimpering dying dog’s body into the back of my car and desperately try to reach my parent’s house in time to say good bye and all go together, then shoving all that down into a flimsy box at the last minute to be able to smile at my mom and act like I just swung by to help with the floors instead of absolutely needing to see her and my father alive right now and touch them and fucking hate myself for indulging in that when Palestinians can’t so much that i force myself into an even deeper doom scroll next time as penance because how dare i look away for a MOMENT i can see them i can live i NEED to MAKE myself look at what’s happening-… rinse and repeat.

[weepingpussywillowtree]

petty rant about the state of discourse around USA politics under the cut. I'm pretty sure this is a hot take so I'm prepared to delete later

this is very niche and petty but USA online leftists who think voting is bad and that if you can't find the most morally pure candidate that aligns with all of your values you shouldn't vote, or that voting is a waste of time and we should all just mutual aid and revolution more instead just seem incredibly short-sighted and terminally online to boot.

what mutual aid and revolution, I ask you??? Is it here in the room with us??? hate to break it to y'all, but the people who are actually out there volunteering or doing charity drives or whatever are mostly conservative christian grandmas and *gasp* the dreaded libs, at least from my experience in the northeastern USA. vermont, where my extended family lives, flooded this summer and guess who was out there wearing PPE and helping people recover their stuff, clean up, and distribute supplies?? my TERF ass mother and a bunch of other older white ladies. I'm sure there were other groups doing it too, but you know who wasn't out there?? my terminally online leftist cousin, who also lived in vermont but would rather post angry stuff that makes them look clever and cool all day than doing something boring like hand out essentials to people who had their homes destroyed by climate change.

also, an actual revolution would most likely just kill a lot of people and make the material conditions in this country worse, at least in the short term. y'all just sit inside and tweet and post discourse and be mad online and then get mad at other people for spending a few hours voting to try and at least stave off full blown authoritarian fascism in this country for another few years. you don't know that they aren't also organized in other ways. you are getting mad about something that takes less than one day every two years.

not to mention, the vast majority of your country is not nearly as left wing as you are. a third of americans are Christian nationalists or Christian nationalist sympathizers and that's about as right wing as it gets. you are living in an online bubble.

Idk what kind of history education y'all got, but the USA has been a warmongering genocidal shitstain for pretty much its entire history. not that what's currently happening isn't incredibly awful, inhumane, and disgusting. It absolutely is and we should try to do everything we can to help, including donating, boosting, protesting, and harassing the hell out of your representatives.. But this is far from the first time the USA has participated in and funded horrific acts of cruelty. and no, I am not saying "vote blue no matter who". especially when it comes to local elections, do a bit of fucking research and voting could actually affect your life for the better.

it's just frustrating when I feel like people can't have any nuance about this. voting is harm reduction, not moral posturing. even when I vote for obscure local candidates or for a third party candidate I usually disagree with them on at least one major issue. this is a problem that comes up with representative governments (and also the diversity of human opinion, to be quite frank. I promise you agree with your progressive friends on fewer issues than you think), but that's what we've got so maybe it'd be more productive for everyone if you stopped throwing a hissy fit about it.

[dontpetmeibite]

Ravage, how did it feel seeing Tarn perish at Megatron's hands for...literally ripping you in half? Or at least a version of you, I should say.

I know that wasn't the main reason, but I feel like it was what drove o'l Megs to go "fuckit mode" and kill Tarn like the mistake he was.

I have actually not seen that, and I don't want to. Is this the manner in which you normally ask people you've just met about their traumatic experiences?

If I put myself in the position of that Ravage, seeing that incident, I think it would piss me off, because it would have been better for me if he'd chosen to do that before I died, not after.

But I don't know. And I don't know what any of those people went through, whether it was the same as me or not. I mean that Ravage was still using he/him pronouns and maybe he liked them, maybe he was a masculine person instead of a person who didn't want all her enemies to know she was a girl until the war was over.

Here is what I do know based on what happened in my own timeline.

Megatron was subjected to a partial "personality adjustment" on Messatine. At first I didn't know that and I was pleased to see my amica finally accepting that we were not going to be able to go to Iacon and politely ask the Senate to vacate the premises and allow us to craft a functional and just government without giving a few people Rossum's three shots.

But it just kept getting worse and worse. Soundwave and I were never accused of treason or taken out and shot because Megatron loved us as people, but he also stopped listening to us when we said we thought things were going too far.

Then we had

(yes glit I borrowed your gif)

and at the end of it he went Autobot and abdicated and abandoned us and that totally aided the cause of peace because Galvatron and Soundwave coming to blows was not anything that anyone could have ever seen coming given their respective personalities, and I ended up on the Lost Light for reasons and you know.

After I left the LL, Megatron got attacked by a rogue mnemosurgeon who could fuck with people's brains without touching them and mysteriously recovered the pacifism of his early youth. Which would have been very convenient for that guy (seriously, fuck that guy) if Tailgate hadn't ruined his day by dropping a shuttle on him.

Shortly after this completely normal and unforced moral 180 Megatron tried to bash his brain into a wall and told his doctor that he'd never been happier with a huge grin on his face. Because that's not suspicious or anything.

So far as I can tell the only purpose my death served in that timeline was to make Soundwave utterly miserable (and result in him ending up with that idiot Cosmos) and make Megatron get up off his aft and blow up the guy he turned into a raving mad serial killer at least partly on purpose with antimatter. But I don't know. I didn't live that life.

Charlie, Marissa and Miko told me that this is called "refrigeration" when it happens to female human characters in stories and that if I were a fictional character they would be pretty mad about that.

My point is I'm not judging anyone here in this scenario because Trepan and Sunder both fucked with Megatron's head and in the intervening time period Megatron fucked with Glitch's head and made him into Tarn, although I do not think we can blame all of that on Megatron because the guy was the commandant of Grindcore at one time, while my brother was there, so.

Our history is enough of a sideshow in the timeline I'm actually in. Would I be glad to know I was avenged? I guess so. But on the other hand if I died because of his fucking vow of pacifism and he didn't keep it that's not exactly wonderful either. And on the third one (good thing I have four paws) maybe it's really the fault of all those needlefuckers who thought they had the right to open up his cranial vault and redecorate!

I'm not blaming a Megatron I never met for the exigencies of a situation I was never in. Megatron is my amica, Soundwave is my conjunx, Tarn did horrible things to people in my universe too, I just wasn't one of them. and it didn't happen.

My point is, you're asking me how I feel about people I don't even know that are actually NOT the people I love the most in this universe. They look and act a whole lot like those people but I have no idea if they're the kind of people they were in my own universe.

I mean I could also say "Minimus Ambus needs two whole sets of armour so that nobody catches him impersonating a vertebrate" which is a thing that I actually said in my own universe once.

But if I did say that, I would be talking about the one in my universal stream. And that would cause no end of needless offence, because there could be five different people reading this post who are also named Minimus Ambus, but none of them did any of the shady shit the Ambus brothers I knew in my own universe did.

Or maybe they did but since I don't know them I'd possibly rather not know.

[decolonize-the-everything]

If Americans shouldn't vote for Biden what should they do instead? Vote for trump? Vote third party? Not vote?

(I know most people would probably ask you this in bad faith but I'm just really distraught at the state of politics and keep hearing people say "don't say he's the only option and don't support him" but there's never alternatives given and I don't know what an effective alternative could even be)

I think a good place to start that a lot of people are comfortable with is probably volunteering and petitioning for 3rd parties to make sure they Do have ballot access next year. So that ppl Can vote for someone else next year.

And yes, vote 3rd party this election. Or don't vote at all.

Besides that? Learn some basic defense and join protests. Support encampments and do things leftists say like join a union and organize your own community whether it be your schoolmates, coworkers, or all your friends and their friends.

Y'all see the news right?

Censorship and propaganda are rampant right now, along with transphobia and racism and even Nazis are back. Tensions are high to say the least and everyone is worked up about the election and Israel.

Figure out what you wish someone else would do and then do it. Is that de-arresting protesters? Organizing a bail fund, fighting cops and throwing tear gas back at them when they make things violent?

There's a lot to fight against and even more to fight for. Find what's worth fighting for (to you) and actually start fighting for it. Don't let cops or your principal or boss or anyone else stop you.

I think one of the most important things we can do right now is remind the government and those that serve the government that they won't take our rights so easily. That if they want to silence us then we're gonna make sure it'll hurt more than it'll help. That we can and will fight back.

And that's why it's so vital that we show them we won't settle either. We won't vote for Biden.

We settled for Clinton and look where that got us.

Does it feel like voting for more and more conservative blue candidates actually helped prevent harm? Or does it feel like you were manipulated and lied to?

Gonna be real, it feels like the government is a manipulative abuser and we're all it's gaslit victims who don't want to believe things are that bad just cuz he killed someone else instead of us.

Which is like...it doesn't mean good things for us that our government could do that and we'd rationalize it, you know?

How we want to get out of this fucked up dynamic is up to us. We work, we pay taxes, we listen to the governments rule of law, and still our government won't codify rights, our trans friends are being abused by the government, or it's banning apps with censorship. And the whole time it's telling us to shut up and be grateful it isn't worse.

Abusers never ever tell you that it could be better too. And they don't want you to know that. Cuz then you leave. And if you leave then they can't manipulate and abuse you.

So yeah. They'll shit on us for doing Anything that doesn't result in us staying, for doing anything that results in us choosing our own well being instead of theirs.

But that's what we need to do.

And you need support before you do that. That's what organizing is. It's like calling the besties who hype you up to leave your shitty ex. Except it's a bunch of people agreeing to support each other when they choose to stand up for something. Organizing is making sure there are people watching back and making sure if one of you is harmed or arrested that there'll be someone there to help bail you out.

The more people you have to bail you out, the less you have to worry about being outnumbered, spoken over, or physically stopped with force.

So yeah. Do that.

Organize. I hope I stressed that enough. The people on our front lines need us to be there for them as much we need Them to keep fighting for us.

Also since I'm here: make sure you and your friends don't talk shit about protesters even when they get violent and break shit. It's not abuse when the victim finally hits back at their abuser, it's self defense.

[coffeewhiskeysleeprepeat]

I don't want to talk about the situation in the middle east. The situation is fucked, no matter how you slice it, and I have seen a hundred people try to slice it at least a hundred ways.

I will say I have seen far, far too many people saying that Israeli children deserved to die because they were "complicit" in the actions of the Israeli government. I have seen too many people saying that women deserved to be raped.

So I want to take just a second to talk about the kind of Judaism I grew up with. So, for those who don't know, on Passover Jewish people read a haggadah (basically the story of how the jews were freed from slavery in Egypt). My family created their own, and as near as I can tell, large parts were lifted from the 1969 freedom seder

(See: https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2015/04/04/397323302/in-freedom-seder-jews-and-african-americans-built-a-tradition-together

and: https://jwa.org/teach/livingthelegacy/documentstudies/1969-freedom-seder-it-would-not-be-sufficient)

I will simply say that I grew up with a Judaism with this spirit.

The word Dayenu means- It would have been sufficient. If g-d had only freed us, it would have been enough. If g-d had only fed us in the dessert, etc. That's the traditional prayer. I grew up with a version of this instead, where the bolded sections are spoken by everyone and we go around the table with each person reading the first part:

"For if we were to end a single genocide but not to stop the other wars that kill men and women as we sit here, it would not be sufficient;

If we were to end those bloody wars but not disarm the nations of the weapons that could destroy all mankind, it would not be sufficient;

If we were to disarm the nations but not to end the brutality with which the police attack black people in some countries, brown people in others; Moslems [sic] in some countries, Hindus in other; Baptists in some countries, atheists in others; Communists in some countries, conservatives in others, it would not be sufficient;

If we were to end outright police brutality but not prevent some people from wallowing in luxury while others starved, it would not be sufficient;

If we were to make sure that no one starved but were not to free the daring poets from their jails, it would not be sufficient;

If we were to free the poets from their jails but to train the minds of people so that they could not understand the poets, it would not be sufficient;

If we educated all men and women to understand the free creative poets but forbade them to explore their own inner ecstasies, it would not be sufficient;

If we allowed men and women to explore their inner ecstasies but would not allow them to love one another and share in the human fraternity, it would not be sufficient."

I mean this sincerely. My Judaism is rooted in standing up for people. In volunteering to plant a community garden and the only other folks who showed up are there because our synagogue called for people.

I don't want to talk about the situation in the middle east. But- its not right to wish harm upon children, or rape of women. It breaks my heart, and it is not sufficient.

We have to get better about nuance people. I beg you.

[tea-cat-arts]

For today’s late night vague posting about a critique I’ve been seeing and happen to disagree with (also, usual disclaimer that I’m more defending the concept than I am the execution): the Flame Chasers becoming a found family is actually thematically consistent with Honkai’s story

Just for a quick run down of what this trope is so we’re all working from the same definition: A found Family is a group who are united by similar experiences and interpersonal understanding. Characters being in the same found family doesn’t inherently mean that they like each other. If you’ve ever seen shows like Glee or Firefly, you’ll have seen groups that argue all the fucking time but are still considered found family.

The flame chasers are kinda in a similar category of found family in that they don’t all love each other. With the exception of Elysia, it’s more like they have 3-4 people in the group they love and the rest they watch out for for varying reasons (friend of a friend, enemy of my enemy, simply because they’re a human being… they each got their own reasons). As far as fitting the basic definition goes- they have the shared experience of having to deal with the whole “either the Honkai will kill us all or the government will” situation, and by the end of the previous era, they can at least understand the others thought process, even when they don’t necessarily see eye to eye.

Thematically, them being a found family makes it so that even though the PE’s cold logical attitude lost them their war against the Honkai, the small faction that acted out of love and chose to sacrifice themselves instead of others were the ones who were able to give the next generation a fighting chance. I think this angle gets a bit lost in story due to the game’s over focus on the flame chasers themselves and an underdevelopment of the moths as an organization. Because we see so little of the moths themselves on screen (outside of Sakura’s introduction and Rin’s death), it’s easy to think that the flame chasers are the norm rather than the exception if you don’t read the manga/flame chasers files (which is like… Mihoyo- stop making your players do homework to understand your plot).

Anyways, my purposed solution given the limited screen time they’re allowed is just to make Dr. MEI explicitly a villain. Like, I do think she could be rewritten as a more tragic fallen hero type character (heck, I think it’d be alright to make her a sympathetic villain) and y’all are totally valid if you choose to take that angle, but she has the very convenient position of being a government leader and in a position of power. Not sure if it’s ever said how high ranking she actually was, but she was selected to have that power, it’s not something she sought out herself. I think it could be even more interesting if she was elected by the common populous in some way. Have her purpose a bunch of detailed, easy sounding solutions and have them win each battle, but cost so much that they’re slowly loosing the war. Idk, I have been working on a more extensive rewrite pitch, so I’ll probably go more into it later

Anyways, sometimes the images I post just straight up don’t show up in the tags, and that can get kinda frustrating when I spend 20+ hours working on a drawing, so I’d really appreciate it if any of you checked out my pined art list (there’s a Honkai sub-category if that’s all you’re interested in, but I do have other things there too)

[sevilemar]

As a first-time DM, I am not sure if this is normal, or if I have somehow managed to land myself in more trouble than I need to. I am currently world building at so many fronts, and it's both very creative and rewarding, but also quite stressful. These are the things I'm world building atm (please tell me if that's a normal amount, or if that's just a newby thing because I don't know the ropes and all the tricks yet):

- Fleshing out NPCs for the upcoming session, what they know or don't know, what they are willing to tell or do, and for what price.

- Designing a surprise encounter that is a consequence of one of the players deliberately flashing dangerous knowledge around in an attempt to draw out the bad guy. It has to be threatening, but probably should not result in them being dead or captured. Because if they get captured, there is no reason why they would not either be killed instantly, or used in the bad guy's necromantic experiments. Maybe some kind of mind battle, the important psychic attack with detect thoughts disguised by physical attacks? Or maybe I really do try to capture them, or at least some of them, and split the party? Because that's what my bad guy would go for, if I'm really honest.

- Designing an evil lair under the location the players are currently in, and coming up with a way to let them know it's there without being too obvious about it. Incidentally, coming up with security for the place that would hold up to strong magical government forces and oversight, but can be breached by our heroes if they put their minds to it.

Which is fucking difficult, let me tell you. My current idea is to create a disturbance in the lair, to let them see security rush in there without being able to do anything about it, but also let them see the devices that allow security to teleport there. Maybe there is also a way for them to find an in with the security personnel? Have to think about that. I want to use the players special abilities for this more, make it so that it's only because they combine different skillsets that they can succeed, but I'm not sure how to do that.

But maybe I just actively try to capture them instead, and it becomes a jailbreak story? Ugh, too many possibilities! How do you decide what is the best course of action for the story and to make player choices matter? If I leave it up to how the story goes at the table, what the fuck do I prep for, all of it??

- I am trying to keep the motivations of the different factions in mind, but they are shifting quite a bit. I designed it like a kind of cold war between two powerful factions, both of which operate in the criminal underground and sort of keep each other in check. One of them is looking to make an army of modified warforged who would be loyal only to them, the other is a criminal syndicate that dabbles in necromancy who threatens to raise an army of undead. Both things are illegal, and the law is strong in the country, so they can't just openly fight it out.

Oh, that's giving me ideas. What if they are kind of in the middle of negotiations, and it's the player's task to stop this unholy alliance? I like that, I like that a lot. It's an achievable goal for 2nd level adventurers, I think, and they already have the first part of some critical information that would disturb those talks, they just don't know it yet.

- Coming up with at least a half-way believable economic system that feels coherent and helps players with immersion, or at least doesn't put them out of it, is not really fun for me. I want it, because since they are 2nd level adventurers it should still feel like an important thing that they can't buy certain things yet, but I don't want to design it.

- Coming up with ideas on how to get players to engage with the world, and get deeper into their character. I think I'm gonna do a flashback for one of them, make them actually feel what they have lost when their mentor died, instead of it just being words on paper. I'm gonna give another an NPC rival, since they have given me nothing much in their backstory to hook them in. And I'm gonna design an artificer convention for our artificer, that can also be the place where the final negotiations take place. Of course it's gonna go horribly wrong one way or another, and I feel like it might be the showdown for their first arc. How much time do I give them until the convention? Also, fuck me, that's a lot of work!

- My players are currently investigating the necromantic crime syndicate, but one of my players is also secretly investigating the warforged faction as a part of their warlock pact. And as an added difficulty, is doing so for the necromantic syndicate, but thinks he's doing it for the warforged faction. I have no idea when and how I let him find out, and how it will impact the story. At the moment, I'm just keeping that plate spinning as best I can, tbh.

- One of my players is designing a dungeon and wants to DM it soon. I work with him to find a way to put it into the story, even if only superficially.

Is it normal to have so many fronts to work on? I have never build a story or a world before, so is it normal to leave things kinda vague like this, and basically come up with new story beats, or flesh out old ones, after each session and depending on what the players do? It feels a little dangerous to me, like there's a good possibility that I'm not gonna be able to tie it all together and give them a satisfying conclusion. At the same time, if I define it more in advance, I feel like I'm gonna take away their agency. I don't just want to guide them from beat to beat, I want them to be able to influence what beats there are, and when they hit them.

[needstobehelped]

Trying to wrap my head around this so it makes sense but. I'd like to give most people the benefit of the doubt and say that they're on the same page as me for this

It frustrates me to no end both irl and online that for every piece of media saying something negative about Biden there's at least 10 commenters going "Yeah But Trump"

Yes. But Trump. Who for the last 8 years has been terrorizing the political landscape with his abhorrent behavior and irreversible damage to the American Federal Government, who rallies supporters like they're cultists and sits on a Pedestal of So What If I'm Convicted, I'm White And I Have Money And Power And Will Face No Consequence. That Trump. We fucking know he's awful, he should have no place of serious power in this country, anyone who votes for him is severely ignorant and privileged at best and a sycophant with a gun collection at worst. These are not points that need to be rehashed, rammed down our throats at every turn. We know. We remember. Why bring up points that have been said ad nauseum?

What bothers me is not Joe Isn't Being Very Nice Guess I'll Vote For Trump, cause I cannot fathom how that pipeline exists for most people. It's watching in real time as the choices this November have shifted from 2020. Joe won the election 4 years ago by being the blandest, most broadly appealing candidate with the best chances at shutting Trump down. He labeled himself a Democrat, held pretty Moderate beliefs, and had to be pushed with every drop out to at least say some left leaning talking points. honestly, it was an upsetting pick for me back then, too.

There is, however, a gaping chasm of difference between "more out of touch and moderate than I'd like" and "actively participating in genocide despite every sign being thrown in your face". I am horrified every day that passes, every picture and video of children getting slaughtered with unimaginable brutality and apathy, every report that says America's participation is only getting more active. Joe Biden is directly causing murder in the thousands, all in the name of keeping our political footing in the Middle East, if there's any reason to be found at all. And while I understand that a lot of spending must be passed through Congress, and that the Senate in particular is just as fucked up, it does not erase the direct calls, the purposeful misinformation, the silencing of people willing to stand up that all came directly from him.

And the worst part? He still gets my vote. Because while there is no avenue to stop the horrors in Palestine, while both candidates will continue arming Israel with no regard to the people it will kill, there are marginalized peoples in this country whose lives and freedoms hinge on this election. Because my options have become a war criminal who still believes in the supposed democracy of this country, or a felon who has publicly said he will turn our government into a fascist, autocratic state. Our political climate has become one where voting for the democratic party, regardless of whose on the ticket, is the only way to at least hold on to the basic human rights still afforded to us.

Trump is the best thing to happen to the Democratic Party, because in his abhorrence and blatant disregard to any human decency, he has given them the perfect opponent. Why would they need to discuss their views and opinions? Why would they need to convince the American People that they will fight for their rights and protections and freedoms? Why would they need to do any political legwork, when their campaign strategy has already fallen into their laps: I'm Not Trump. Why should anyone care about their Libertarian ideals, their corporate payouts, their dedication to the rich instead of the few, when they can hold onto the bare minimum of Not Being Trump. Hey, I may be selling your rights to the Evangelicals, and your personal information to Big Pharma, but I'm not a Fascist so Vote For Me.

And we have to! Because the alternative is That Fucking Bad! I am seething with rage at how far we've fallen, that "Free Choice" and "Fair Elections" have become even bigger jokes than they already were, that we are stuck in a downward spiral no matter who we pick, the only choice we get is how fast we move. I'm angry. I'm terrified. I'm so fucking tired. The only way to get my frustrations out, and I imagine it's this way for a lot of others, is to vent about how fucking awful Joe Biden is, to keep a record on everything this man has done in the name of Zionism, of Imperialism, to try and hold anyone accountable, cause there is sure as shit no accountability to be found in a voting booth. Who knows if there ever will be again.

[mortilith-parade]

Dear internet diary

It's been awhile since I've done this. Just write how I feel with no real plan or goal. A fucking vomit shit storm of the mess that's happening in my head. Last time I did this I was 16 I think. I think I started out trying to write a suicide note before it turned into a angry storm of everything that is happening in my head.

I look back on life. I'm 23 now. Weird I somehow never thought I would make it but also thought 23 was achievable at the same time. I am in debt. So much debt for a degrees that are either useless or are looked down upon and spat on by not only people but the government when they decide how much they should pay me.

I look at world and once I thought that we could change it. Turn it around and make positive changes if we all just worked from the bottom up. But now I can barely afford to live. Butter is 5 bucks. I've been living on plain crackers and instant noodles and even then I feel selfish to complain cause I know there's people worse off.

Statistically if we just look at historical trends everything that is happening is over due. But by saying that shouldn't we as a society learnt by now to to prevent such things from happening again. I try to distract myself with pointless videos of cats or I try to drown out my own screaming thoughts with robotic Reddit videos but that never works. A video that smashes me back into reality will always pop back up on my feed.

I'm aware how selfish I am. How selfish I am becoming. I am pushing away those that I love with it. I'm also holding on to people I know don't care about me, or treat me well because I am afraid to be alone. I don't want to kill myself. I am confident of that. However I also feel like I wouldn't be upset if one day I just didn't wake up. I don't want to die but I find myself relying on old self harm replacement tips that I used to do on loop as a teen. Eating sour candy till my brain goes tingly, scrubbing on my hand, counting back from 100.

Im 23 shouldn't I be happy. Or if not happy at least content. Shouldn't I be able to at least fake it till I make it. I know people don't like me, and this isn't some depression paranoia. I know. I've heard it. I'm not so delusional that I don't see the looks between people when I say something, or the laughter when I leave. However as I write this I am just realising that it does sound like God damn paranoia.

Fuck. Maybe I am.

Five years of being in this town that I honestly hate and I don't have anything to show for it. Nothing. Except having to stay here for god knows how much longer. I was asked why I get so angry recently. My brain just skittered and shook with different flashes of reasons.

The fact that I hate the direction of my country

The fact money, or rather the lack of has made me turn down a once and a lifetime dream opportunity

The fact the man who assaulted me still walks around town

And the fact his face still makes me break down into a panic attack

The fact I don't really trust anyone to be honest with

I couldn't respond to them. I think I laughed it off but then I got home and had to cover my mirror.

I used to end these ranting posts with a quote. But I used to read for fun more back then. Instead I will just end it as the words stop pouring out .