#but at least im very close to choose a name for them!

[eldrtchmn]

Could you tell me 3 facts about your favorite oc?

Sure!

has red hair, can change their appearance, hard to kill

[schoenpepper]

Fishies

Intro: In your dreams, this eel merman loves to bother you the most.

Warnings: bad writing, awful grammar, Floyd is a warning in and of himself, mentions of homicide haha, reader is yuu, i dont think i followed the req very well my bad, u and floyd are like super totally normal besties i prommy ahaha no romance here nope no sir, not proofread im like super ded, the glitch text is funny to me, yandere floyd and reader if u like squint super hard

A/N: Updates are slowing down a lot, I know, I'm so so sorry. Unfortunately, my course and univ are kind of competitive, and as someone who hates studying, I've been forced to actually study. Gross, I know. This is for my 300 follower event, for @anonymousplant. I hope you like it.

Masterlist

You’re a pretty normal person, at least, you’d like to think so.

But starting from when you were 5 years old, you’ve had a permanent, recurring dream. You tell your parents of a rowdy merman that tends to linger in your subconscious: his sharp-toothed grin, his sparkly tail longer than his torso, his pretty fins that fluttered when you tried to touch them. They didn’t believe you when you said he really liked trying to squeeze you to death, though they comfort you when you break into their room in the middle of the night sobbing your little heart out.

Yeah, Floyd is an asshole.

That’s his name, or at least, what he told you. You’re not too inclined to debate him on that considering his fondness of wrapping his ridiculously long (and freakishly strong) tail around you, squeezing you at a moment’s notice.

You thank whatever deity is listening that you can breathe underwater in your dreams. He does not seem like the kind of guy who wouldn’t drown you. You know, for fun. Every night when you fall asleep, you ready yourself to meet with your imaginary friend (that’s what your parents called him, though you prefer the term imaginary acquaintance, at best).

“Shrimpy! You’re here, hehe~”

You look at him harshly with your arms crossed in front of your chest, “You’re never this happy to see me. What do you want, fishy?”

“Neh, shrimpy~” the sparkles in his two-colored irises bring about a sense of fear in you, “do you know what dreaming like this means?”

“That I made up a weird eel merman in my mind?”

“I’m not made up. Don’t be silly, shrimpy!” Floyd’s tail slithers in the water, coiling around your legs, “Jade and I learned about it yesterday. You’re my soulmate!”

Ten-year-old you woke up in a nervous start.

Ew!

Why would you ever, ever, be caught dead being with someone like Floyd?! He’s annoying, and a fish, and so if you got together you’d be a fish too! But you don’t want to be a fish!

Your parents are surprised to find you in a very snappy mood the following morning.

“You left so quick, shrimpy! You don’t wanna be my soulmate?”

You snatch an iridescent fish swimming by, turning it into a big plushie with your dream powers. “But you’re annoying,” you stick out your tongue, “so I don’t want to be your soulmate.”

“Eh…?”

You glance at Floyd. He doesn’t seem too happy with your words—in fact, his eyes are narrowed and he’s swimming slowly, closer and closer to you. “But I like you so much, shrimpy~” he says, but there’s no expression on his face. He’s so, so uncomfortably close that you need to lean back to avoid touching him, “you don’t get to choose your soulmate, y’know? So it’s not like you have a choice, hehe~ But if you really wanna be rid of me, I can always squeeze you ‘til your eyes pop! If you’re dead, you wouldn’t have a soulmate anymore. Shrimpy, aren’t I so nice?”

“You suck.”

You kick at the dream water and swim away from the giggling eel.

“Wanna play chase, shrimpy? Okay~”

He’s not too bad. At worst he’ll get cuteness aggression and suddenly wrap himself around you, but most times you’re just chatting endlessly with him about what he calls “weird human things”, and you pester him for details about “normal fish things”. He talks about his octopus friend that he refuses to call a friend, and how takoyaki is his favorite food in the same sentence. You talk about having to dissect a frog in science class which he found really funny somehow. He tells you about his twin brother and their shenanigans together. You tell him about how your parents, your friends—no one believes you when you say that Floyd’s real.

He says they’re lame.

You’ve learned to keep him a well-guarded secret lest your parents recommend a mental hospital again, but he must’ve stuck himself real close to your heart when he starts becoming inseparable from your mind.

He’s become a really good friend.

With Floyd, no moment is ever dull, even when you’re just sitting together on some dream-conjured rock, leaning on each other silently.

There is no second in a day in which you’re not thinking of him. Your favorite part of the day is going to sleep to see him each night, spending hours with his eccentric tendencies. The fish has become a very important part of your life.

(Your friends in school ask you who you like in a discussion about crushes. You ignore the fact that his name is on the tip of your tongue.)

He’s your best friend. There is no secret you can keep from him, because despite Floyd’s usual laissez-faire attitude, one change in your expression and he’s onto you. You’d thought you would go through your entire life with him as your constant, you really did.

On your sixteenth birthday, he’s gone.

Not that he disappeared, but rather, you can’t dream anymore. You wake up the next day with no memory of any dream, and it fills you with panic. Your stomach is churning like a void is forming inside—an integral part of yourself is missing and everything feels so, so wrong. You make your bed and head downstairs to eat breakfast. Your parents question your demeanor in concern for your well-being, and you force out a smile. You tell them you’re fine? There’s no need to worry them about the loss of your imaginary friend, right? You’re okay. Maybe this is the change you needed. You’ll be an adult soon, and you can’t dream of a weird eel merman forever.

No no n̷̥̜̐ơ̷͉̪ ̴̉��͚n̷͚̥͒̓o̵͍̾̆ ̵͍͑n̷̩̝͐ő̵̟ ̶̛̈́ͅn̴̟̣͝͠ȍ̴̢̜ ̸̳̾ǹ̷̳̮ö̴̠́

Where is he?

Where is F̸̛̛̛͇͉̳̝̫̹͒̏͒͊̐͜ͅļ̸̪͈̞̱͓̰̖͌̽̉̔̐̇̃̃̏ó̶̻̯̪̭̐͋̏͛͒̈́̇̽ͅy̶̟̳̬͉̙̖̫̙̻̑̏̌̔̇͂̋̌̕d̷̝͕̣͖̺̬̦̟̂͊͜?̶̧̛͕͎̼͔̈́̆ Ẅ̶̟̗́͠ͅh̶̦̞͚͙̣͛ỳ̴̢͓͓̗͔̗͓̀̉́͋͜͝ ̸̹́͐̿͛ī̵̡̛͎̪̭͉̫̋s̷̢͇͗̏̔͑̿́̚͜ ̵̡̟̄̀̈̆̎̓͝ͅh̵͕̓͂̍̀̔̊̏́ę̶̹̝̘̙̪̗͊̽ ̸̮̟̞͇̭͕̫́̆̀͑̓͗͜͠g̵̙̰̽̔̈́̃́̓̋̐o̸͚̱̟̳̘̦̖̊͐̓ñ̷̨͕͉͈̱̮̲̟ȅ̷͓͙?̴͖͎̳͚̟̲͚̂̔́̔͝͝

Why has he left you...?

Your vacation to your grandmother’s house does nothing to ease your worries (but if she ever heard you sobbing your heart out alone in your room, she never said anything about it).

There’s an old mirror in your bedroom in your grandmother’s house, owned by your late great grandparents. The floor length mirror is encased in an intricate gold frame, and it’s not too obvious until one night when you’d found yourself staring at it in a daze, but the reflection is off. It’s tinged with a layer of purple light, translucent and barely visible unless you pay attention. You try to sleep (it’s been evading you for three days, since the night of your birthday), cozy in your fluffy blankets and a blue unicorn onesie that your grandma had bought to try to cheer you up.

You’re woken by a bright light.

Careful, tiptoed steps lead you in front of the mirror. Your fingertips graze over its surface when a sudden force pulls you in—right in front of a crowd of a few hundred students.

So that was your first day in NRC.

You’d say it was nothing particularly remarkable considering everyone in this place has some sort of superpower, but to be honest, they think you’re so intriguing because you’re magicless. In their eyes that made you weak.

Helpless.

NRC is just filled to the brim with budding sadists.

Your first night in NRC goes a lot different.

It’s uncomfortable. The blankets and sheets are old and scratchy. The entire place is in disarray. It’s filthy and dusty and you’re sure you’re one step away from falling right through the floorboards because of how creaky they are. But tiredness makes for the best sleeping aid, and you’re prepared for another night of nothing.

You miss Floyd.

It’s a big shock when you’re met with your most beloved dreamscape instead of the void. Cold water that chills you to the bone, schools of colorful fish just passing by. There’s a long tail wrapped around a boulder, connected to a swaying half-human who’s blankly staring at the jellyfish. It’s all so familiar that your feet have acted before your brain has; you’re right next to him again.

(It’s where you should be.)

“Shrimpy!”

His voice is a welcome sound. His squeezing though, not so much.

“Floyd—ack! Ow ow ow!”

You almost swear you hear your ribs crack at some point with the way his tail and arms are putting pressure on it, but he only loosens his hold. He doesn’t let go.

You don’t mind that he doesn’t want to.

“Shrimpy’s so mean, why’d you gotta go no contact like that? It’s been so boring! I was super bummed, didn’t even wanna leave my room for that lame ceremony. Did you sleep when I was awake or somethin’?” he whines mournfully into your hair, “I thought… tsk, I told you soulmates aren’t changeable. Were you tryin’ to stop dreaming again?”

“No, the dreams just stopped,” you reply softly. It’s so oddly comforting to be in his arms, it makes you sleepy even in your sleep.

“Really?”

“Really.”

“You weren’t tryin’ to stop seeing me again?”

“I wasn’t. I promise.”

He hums, almost in relief.

(You don’t feel his lips gently, so gently, leaving a kiss on your neck where he’d buried his head. It’s so unlike him, but you make him act so weird.)

Grim wakes you up to look for breakfast in the cafeteria, and your time with your (platonic 💜) soulmate is over all too quickly. But something is stuck in your mind as you’re trudging through dimly lit halls with cat in tow. You knew the name Night Raven College rang a bell, but for it to be the very same school that Floyd had been ranting about for a year is just so unexpected.

(You’re finally in the same world.)

Then, is he here?

You didn’t manage to tell him about your most recent adventures last night. Maybe you should ask around and see if anyone can point you in the correct direction. At least, that was your original plan. Before an almost-burnt statue, a broken chandelier, two idiots who are actually really fun to hang out with, an abandoned mine with hostile ghosts…yeah. It takes you at least three more days before you remember to ask about Floyd in the school. You wanted it to be a surprise, so you kept it a secret from him. Though you probably should have expected that with all the mischief you’d gotten up to, your name was bound to reach his ears sooner or later.

“What the—?!”

“Ack!”

“Woah!”

Your first real meeting with Floyd starts with your cat and your friends being pushed to the ground in a pile.

“Shrimpy! You’re in my school! And you’re the funny student that’s been causing trouble? Now I’m annoyed I missed orientation for the freshies,” he does not hug any looser in his human form, “coulda’ seen you earlier. I coulda’ squeezed you earlier too~”

“Too tight, loosen up a bit please.”

“Okay~”

Ace and Deuce are looking up at you in shock with how casual you seem to be with him, but you pay their reactions no mind, only walking towards them with Floyd still wrapped around you, reaching out a hand to help them up.

(You don’t notice Floyd glower at the trio, or the way his hold tightens ever so slightly.)

They don’t take your hand, but you smile and introduce your best friend anyway. “Guys, this is Floyd. He and I have been in each other’s dreams since forever,” you pat Floyd’s arm that’s slung over your shoulder, “he says we’re soulmates but just ignore him, he’s kinda crazy. It’s probably some freak coincidence.”

“There you go again shrimpy, I thought we were over this? You still don’t believe me even now?”

“Soulmates don’t exist Floyd, don’t think about it too much. You know you’re still my best friend.”

(Ace and Deuce look at each other. Neither of them want to be the one to tell you—)

Soulmates are absolutely a thing.

And with the way that the big bad school bully, known for terrorizing at least half of the student population, is basically hanging off you, there was just no way that Floyd wasn’t completely and absolutely enamored by his cute, magicless little soulmate.

They should probably warn Grim that the eel merman wouldn’t be letting you sleep at Ramshackle tonight.

Or ever.

[bubjuice]

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡☆♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Felix Fickelgruber x fem!Reader HCS

!Warning(s)! Smut

(Also i wrote this instead of sleeping so im sorry if its crap)

♡~Romantic hcs~♡

- He is going to buy you expensive gifts whether you like it or not (man's is just extra)

- Every week he takes you to dinner with him at very fancy restaurants, so you can just chat, and have a moment to yourselves.

- He LOVES to spoil you, i mean the man has a lot of money to spend and a person that he loves so dearly that means he would buy the moon if you asked him to.

- With that in mind he just loves when you show him everything you bought ESPECIALLY clothes, he loves to see you trying it on for him and giving his on private fashion show.

- he is not a person very prone to cuddles but he finds it rather nice, so most of the time he just sleeps in his side of the bed and you would have to be the one to actually initiate contact.

- he definitely taught you how to dance at some point (totally not based out of that part in sweet tooth where dances with the policeman)

- He loves when you cook him homemade meals, makes him all fuzzy and warm inside, and even more if they are homemade sweets (for his massive sweet tooth)

- he gets so flustered when you call him a pet name in public, even more if its in front of the other members of the chocolate cartel, it's honestly adorable.

- Sometimes when he goes past some store and he sees a necklace, jewelry or even clothing that he finds strikingly beautiful, he just cant help it but buy it for you, and most of the time is something extremely expensive (I mean, he does have a refined taste but he probably also has a bit of a shopping problem...just a bit.)

♡~Smut hcs~♡

- Acts like he would be a top but in reality is a bratty sub

- I mean he can top if you ask him nicely (or push the right buttons...) but most of the time he just loves when you do all the work to make him scream with pleasure.

- But that doesnt mean he doesnt do anything in return, he would love to do anything you ask him to, but his favorite way of rewarding you is to eat you out like he's been starving for days on end (he just goes crazy when you ride his face)

- Loves to be tied with whatever you choose (Handcuffs, Rope, His own tie, doesnt matter)

- Loves to buy you expensive lingerie, he just goes wild when he knows you're wearing them

- one day after you two had sex in his office you ended up having to leave in a hurry and left your panties behind somewhere in his office and then just completly forgot about it, after that Felix developed an habit of always having at least one of your panties hidden in a drawer close by, so he can jerk off whenever he wants with the tought of you in mind.

- I just know this man whimpers during sex, i just can see it perfectly.

- If you tease him in public he just becomes a stuttering mess and can't even think straight, or form a coherent train of tought, he says he hates it (but secretly he doesnt)

- i feel like he would not be a big fan of hickeys or bite marks, due to the fact that it would be too noticiable and we all know how much he cares for his appearence so it deppends on where you would mark, but he's not totally against it as long as he can easily cover it up.

- he has an obsession with your legs, and he is easily turned on by it, loves to kiss them until he reaches your inner thighs.

[atlabeth]

i'm with you | nikolai lantsov

summary: everything is falling apart around you, but the world is quiet for a moment as you and nikolai share a sunrise together.

a/n: this is a lil sequel to bad luck! it takes place 3 years after at the beginning of siege and storm, after rusalye is killed and the darkling is mutinied off the volkvolny lol. idk where this came from but i really wanted to write something for nikolai because im done with finals and kept my 4.0 and he makes me happy! so i hope you enjoy this short lil thing

wc: 1.5k

warning(s): fem!reader, slight bit of angst, mentions of death and fighting, but this is very light hurt/comfort so nothing really bad goes on

“I should have known this is where I’d find you.” 

Nikolai’s voice rang out from behind you, clear and strong in the silence of an early morning. Nothing but you, him, and the sea, the way it had been for nearly three years now. 

You weren’t ready to lose it.

“I needed some time,” you said, gaze remaining on the horizon, sunrise on the brink. “A lot has been going on.” 

“An understatement,” Nikolai said wryly. His footsteps could hardly be heard against the wood as he walked over to you, choosing to lean his back against the railing in opposition to you supporting yourself with your forearms. He didn’t look at you, but his presence was more than enough. “How have you been holding up?” 

“Better than most can say,” you said. “Certainly better than our guests.” 

He chuckled. “I believe the Sun Summoner has wished death on me more than once.” 

“Have you seen the way her tracker looks at you?” you asked. “That man wants you dead.” 

You could see his grin out of the corner of your eye. “A spirited pair, to be sure. I’m lucky they haven’t actually made an attempt.” 

“As if I would let them get close,” you said wryly. “I take my duties as your second-in-command very seriously.” 

This time, you felt his eyes on you. “A misfortune you’ve been only my second for these past few weeks.” 

You sighed. The vast expanse of the sea, just beginning to glow with the light of the sunrise, seemed much lonelier. 

The past month had been… difficult, to say the least. And certainly lonely. 

The Darkling—General of the Second Army, Grisha of the greatest renown, and one side of the Ravkan civil war—had hired Nikolai’s crew to take him and his Grisha through the Bone Road in search of the mythical sea whip Rusalye. Nikolai decided to go along with it, but the plan he’d cooked up with you and the crew was something truly idiotic. If you all could pull it off, though, it would be the start of Ravka’s saving grace. 

The general was not a generous man beyond the coin he put up. He practically took over the ship, ruminating with an imposing power everywhere he went. You supposed it wasn’t difficult to lead an army when you could intimidate your way through everything in your path. 

And he recognized you. Looked you over in a way that made your skin crawl, greeted you by name, asked if your parents knew where you were. You resisted the urge to spit in his face—years of etiquette lessons worn into your bones were the only thing that kept a practiced smile on your lips. 

He just wanted to get under your skin, try to unsettle you, maybe hoped he could reveal your truth to anyone who still might not have known to sow division in the crew. You lied to his face and all he did was chuckle and move on. 

The Darkling left you alone from then on, but Nikolai refused to take any chances. He made the decision to hide your relationship, to hide any form of closeness beyond your being his second—”the last thing I need is you being targeted for any mistakes I make,” he’d said, and you had no objections. 

The Darkling had unnerved you since the first time you’d met him as a teenager. The insanity that flickered in his eyes any time his hunt for the Sun Summoner was brought up—the insanity fully displayed when he finally had her in his grasp—was enough to make you keep your head down wherever and whenever possible. 

That was not to say it wasn’t difficult, though. The first night you spent alone rather than in his cabin was difficult, and you’d wondered if the ship had truly always been this cold. Your finger felt bare without its ring, and you always worried the necklace would somehow slip into view. Your hands itched for your dagger each time the Darkling threatened Nikolai, and you were sure his calming words afterwards were the only thing keeping you from doing something truly foolish. 

And now he was fully your enemy, Rusalye had been turned to fetters, and the Sun Summoner and her mystical tracker were below deck in a very shaky alliance. 

Things were certainly never boring with Nikolai, at least. 

You were snapped out of your thoughts when he said your name, and you finally looked over at him. 

“Are you sure you’re alright, milaya?” he asked softly. “Tolya did patch up all your wounds, didn’t he?” 

“Perfectly,” you confirmed with a nod. “It’s just…” 

“Talk to me, my love.” Nikolai reached out and took your hand, the callouses from years spent as a privateer a comfort by now. “You know I’m here for you, more now than ever.” 

Your gaze dropped down to your joined hands, and you let out a loose sigh. “We’re going back to Ravka,” you finally managed to say. “Back to the noble world.” 

“It does feel strange,” he murmured. “After years on the sea, free from any expectations. Free from being a Lantsov.” 

“Years away from my parents,” you said quietly. “They probably think I’m dead.” Your gaze flitted back up to meet his eyes, and you were struck by the warmth in them. “And I would have been, had it not been for you. Dead or much, much worse.”

“You can’t think like that,” he urged, pulling you closer. “You made your choice—we both have. And they brought us back together. That means they couldn’t have been wrong.”

“I left them, Nikolai.” Your chest tightened and you looked back out to the boundless waters. “Without a single word.” 

“I did the same,” he said wryly. “You somehow managed to forgive me.” 

You huffed a laugh and shook your head. “I’m just not the same girl I was when I left. I don’t want to be that girl—that duke’s daughter that smiles and curtsies her way through everything. I’m worried that they’ll try and push me right back into that box.” 

Nikolai scoffed. “As if they could even try.” 

In your silence, he gently tipped your chin so you could meet his eyes. 

“You’re my second in command,” he said. “You’ve taken quicker to all of this than any member of any crew I’ve seen. And when you’re focused on something, you’re a sure sight to see. You’re not the girl that they raised—you’ve forged yourself into your own woman. If they have any sense at all, they’ll be the proudest parents in all of Ravka.” 

“I hope so,” you admitted, “more than anything. All of this— learning to sail and command and fighting by your side— it’s made me feel more alive in a few years than a whole childhood in Ravka’s court.” 

“And I consider myself immensely lucky that you somehow find enjoyment in all of this the same as I do,” Nikolai said with a slight laugh, taking his hand away from your chin. “Truly, I don’t know how I was fortunate enough to find you again after messing everything up once.” 

Your lips quirked in a slight smile. “And I consider myself immensely lucky that you stayed in love with me after all that time.” 

“The only thing easier than falling in love with you is staying in love with you,” Nikolai mused, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “I could sail the Bone Road for a thousand years and that would never change.” 

“That’s another reason I don’t want to go back to court,” you said, heat blooming in your cheeks. “You’ll charm every person you come across with those honeyed words.” 

Nikolai smiled. “And yet I could only ever mean them for you.” 

“I just don’t get how you’re still so confident,” you said. “We’re going back to Ravka in the midst of a civil war. The Darkling’s on our tail, and he won’t stop until he’s gotten his very bloody revenge.” 

“But we’re going back together,” Nikolai clarified. “As far as I’m concerned, anything is possible so long as we’re together.”

“How are you always so sure of yourself?” you marveled. 

He shrugged. “It’s very difficult not to believe in myself when I’ve got you by my side.”

“Saints,” you murmured, your smile growing, “I’ve missed you more than you know.” 

Nikolai pulled you into a kiss and your eyes fluttered shut as his lips met yours, your hands falling into familiar places on his body as you all but fell into him. It had only been a few days since your successful mutiny against the Darkling, and open affection still felt slightly strange. Any remaining qualms were fully kissed out of you, though, and when you pulled away, out of breath but glowing from the inside out, you could hardly contain your smile. 

“Trust me,” Nikolai breathed, “I know.” 

You grinned as you leaned against his side, and he pulled you in close with an arm around you. You rested your head on his shoulder, and for a moment, the countless voices of doubt inside of you fell silent as you watched the sunrise together. 

“We’ll figure it all out. I promise.” His voice was little more than a whisper in your ear, and yet it warmed your body just as much as his touch. “I’m with you until the end, milaya. No matter what.” 

And you believed him.

[real-fire-emblem-takes]

thinking about the fe games w/ routes (fates and three houses specifically but probably others idfk)

i think there needs to be more tragedy there. or opportunities for it i guess? or that fire emblem has to make unique death quotes for characters in general man

death in fire emblem feels so blah for me. more of an inconvenience than in other media. like when im playing DnD and an npc i love dies it isnt "man that sucks. anyway" but even w characters i love in fire emblem its just "man do i wanna reset the chapter for this that was so lame"

make death and especially betrayal related deaths Hurt More.

lets say youre byleth. youre teaching the black eagles, yay! but you have a b support with claude. you and claude are good buddies, maybe you just like claude as a character or its accidental because of x y z does Not matter. either way you are one of claudes closest friends. then the war starts, and you choose to side with a woman claude sees as a future tyrant (or at the very least a driven warmonger who might crush the alliance underneath her boot). imagine the hurt. the absolute fucking agony for claude.

and for byleth! byleth wakes up and their friend is gone. on another side, unreachable, 5 years of emotional distance *yawning* in front of them.

and then they reunite in the midst of battle, weapons drawn. theyve both come so far and have goals they *have* to achieve.

"I don't want this."

too bad. if you roll over, you get a game over because you fuckin failed the route. or you have to make someone else kill claude because sumn sumn mechanically you have a 0% hit rate bc of that b support. you cant do it.

too bad. claude cant run away, hes the last line of defense for a place hes responsible for. if he leaves what is he? a coward? a turncoat? would he have to believe in edelgard's future? would he have to slay his own allies, friends, the people who relied on him?

he cant. you cant.

he begs you to reconsider. you cant.

as he falls he reaches out a hand. you kneel beside him as he says a few things. calls this whole battle a clever gambit, praises your cunning in using effective weaponry, etc etc. but his voice is weaker. theres no option to spare him, you couldnt spare any *other* unit, could you? couldn't spare hilda. cant spare claude.

he mentions sometimes dreaming of the monastery. the food was good, right? hope the foods good in the future you build with edelgard. hope you name a town after him, thatd be fun. dont get stupid, teach, dont join him too soon. maybe he'll even wait for ya. keep a seat warm.

(fire emblem unit death sound)

then also: units in your own army.

lets say youre playing black eagles. its nearish endgame but not too close so i dont say any spoilers, but regardless bernadetta and yuri have an A support. they might get hitched postgame man, you havent done the A support of anyone else w those two. its a rough battle, your healer is severely low on psychic uses, you sold all your fucking vulneraries because you thought dorothea was more of a beast than she is. its dire.

unexpected sniper crit. yuri is on 0 hp.

bernadetta is within 5 tiles and instead of yuri's canned death quote, bernie interjects with one of the most well voiced anguished screams youve ever fucking heard. on the next turn, bernie gets +50 hit *and* crit on that enemy, and if she kills it the rest of the scene plays.

bernie is holding yuri, one of her few friends in her hellish fucking life. hes not gonna make it, she knows that, but shes still gonna try. shes wailing and begging him to stay like she wished she had all those fucking years ago, shes babbling about all the things he'll miss if he goes, all the things shes planned for them to do now that shes brave enough to leave her bedroom. he cuts her off to laugh. now is when she gets brave and honest with her feelings? when hes dying? oh bernie come on. he wraps an arm around her shoulders and pulls her in for a hug, kissing her temple like an old boyfriend and not a quiet yearning crush. he murmurs that hes glad she left her bedroom. that hes glad she can see the world beyond what abuse happened to her behind closed doors. that she'll find some other person to hold in his stead, one who wont so rudely get his blood on her battle leathers. one who wont leave her time and time again like he has. she wails into his shoulder as she drops the scraps of cloth she had been trying to use to stop his bleeding and just holds her dying friend.

(fire emblem unit death sound)

if death felt like An Event and not An Inconvenience i'd play with permadeath more man. make me sad fire emblem youre so shit at it

.

[feniksido]

For some reason my post about the Heist in the Hells has been getting some traction recently so I thought maybe it's time to talk about my actual thoughts on what I would like to see in the hypothetical Heist in the Hells DLC (my personal hell)

I was trying to figure out a whole bunch of stuff about Mephistopheles and the 8th layer of the hells! First, the vaults are in Mephistar, a citadel on top of a Glacier named Nargus, which is piloted by Mephisto all over Cania constantly on the move. Mephisto has his slowly melting throne at the very center of the glacier, and the rest of the city is like a mini-hell with 3 terraced levels where the lowest level is with “lowly least devils” and mid tier for mid devils i guess and then hellfire masters and nobles and the wizards on the third higher levels. It’s heated on the inside of Mephistar! It has baths and scented fires (not sure what they smell like but I assume something other than fire?)

The rest of Cania is just like barren wasteland full of just the weirdest left over arcane energy cus of Mephisto’s experimentation, its cold as fuck and it has constant surveillance against spies, mostly spies sent by Dispater, mr THE Arms Dealer of all the planes, so you know that motherfucker mephistopheles is very used to these types of people showing up and trying to go into the vaults and such

NOW Helsik very specifically used the words “I punched a portal into the Archdevil’s dusty vaults”, so I assume it was directly into the vaults that they fell into. I'm not sure how this is even possible but i'm not one to ask questions that i will never understand the answers to (lying, im seething) 

However, regardless of the fact that I don't know how Helsik the queen that she is did that, she did do it. I imagine the vaults are huge and incredibly elaborate and probably several stories? Layers? Deep. The items and scrolls and information must all be neatly cataloged and kept track of in the most particular way because Mephistopheles is nothing if not obsessively controlling of all his knowledge and information

However the whereabouts of the actual physical objects must be like.. Constantly changing or magically protected so that those with no authorization cannot find their way through the vaults

Mephistopheles’s filing system is… insane but i do think he would keep track. Or make someone else keep track. He’s very busy. He typically hands down experiments he ran out of time to deal with in his busy schedule to his lessers so I wouldn't put it past him to have someone else also take care of the cataloging. The Crown of Karsus is NOT high on his priority list so i understand how this was potentially feasible to Gortash and The Dark Urge

Actually Talking about the heist itself now: 

I imagine that if a whole heist dlc (don't think we’re getting one but a man can dream) did happen it would start with a bit of exposition. Probably explaining a little bit of the Letters between Durge and Gortash. Specifically these ones:

Then we cut to a scene where they’re already at Helsik’s place. They’ve discussed the plans in depth, they’ve been doing test runs for this in the House of Hope and now it’s time for the real deal. 

Helsik “punches” the portal into the Vaults and they jump in. The portal closes behind them, Helsik will not allow herself to be implicated in anything. They take in their surroundings; they have to be quick, although it is heated inside of Mephistar the frigidness of Cania cuts deeper than anything Baldur’s Gate could ever manage. I imagine that they, having never been here before, look for something that can help them navigate/orient themselves in the vaults. Perhaps that whole cataloging system I talked about earlier. You can choose to ignore it and just go straight forwards checking every room making it substantially harder and less efficient which makes Gortash a little pissy at you for not taking his advice and helping him look for that or you can look around for one but the actual system for cataloging is encrypted 

Maybe a mini puzzle game can take place here, like the one with the brain in Moonrise Towers 

The thingy would then lead deeper into vaults where they would fight Gelugons (the main residents of the 8th layer also known as ice devils) and other assorted devils including pit fiends and pain devils. Maybe a couple dire polar bears also who knows who Mephisto but on his security team

At one point i want to come across an ice devil that much like Yurgir in the house of hope in act 3, can be convinced to side with you and become a temporary ally (perhaps it holds resentment towards Hutijin, mephistopheles’ second in command, and just got sick and tired of the monotony and wants to stick it to the man, i just want a devil in my party even for a second) 

If you manage to successfully persuade this devil to join you, Gortash might be impressed and tell you about how tricking a devil is no easy feat, you can ask him to elaborate on that and he might tell you a bit about his time in the house of hope as Raphael’s unwilling guest Who knows

Moving on, I’d like several more puzzles to delve deeper into the vaults, some that lead nowhere some that lead exactly where you need to go, if you did the earlier puzzle Gortash will be able to guide you and say which ones lead nowhere and which ones are the ones you need to do 

Eventually I want a mechanically engineered door to be the next hurdle which Gortash takes upon himself to solve on his own since he’s more well suited towards this kind of thing, during this, rounds and rounds of incoming security swarm around you both, and Durge has to defend Gortash while he works on getting the door open. Much like the quest for Halsin looking for Thaniel in the Shadowfell, you gotta keep the portal open but instead of “keep the portal open” its “keep Gortash alive and not distracted”

When the rounds of enemies are done you get a little cutscene where you see Durge being overwhelmed by the many devils and it cuts to Gortash who has just opened the door and he takes less than a second’s pause before he decides that instead of going through the door and escaping to relative safety on his own, leaving durge to die he helps durge and they are both able to get through the door sealing it behind them, now in relative safety, they both take a second to breathe 

You as durge now can talk to Gortash and have the dialogue options to say Thank you, scold him for dragging you away from the bloody slaughter, or question his decision to come back for you

I THINK IN MY MIND that the response for all these options would basically be the same, because Gortash is a well practiced speaker and knows exactly what to say but his body language would sort of give him away for the way he’s feeling about the option you choose 

Thanking him would lead to a more defensive “pushing away” way of saying “I still require your assistance, we’re not done. Don’t expect it to happen again.” tsundere ass but like imagine that but better written 

Scolding him would get a sorta like “I cant fucking believe this” as if he expected durge to be a little more practical about things and not lose focus in the madness that was that slaughter and rampage, like i said still the same but just “Argh! I still require your assistance! We are NOT done. DO NOT expect it to happen again if you intend to act this way.” He needs you to focus, not lose yourself in blood

Questioning and challenging his decision but not outright saying you disapprove would probably be playing right into the whole “equals who challenge each other” thing that he likes to do so it’d probably make him slow down, talk slower, make him really think about why he did it and do the thing where while talking he can't look at Durge in the eyes so he looks off to the side or down at the floor “I still need your help. We’re nowhere near done. Let’s not expect this to happen again, yes?” Like acknowledging that yes that was in fact weakness that neither of their masters tolerate (because obviously the correct thing a baneite would have done is let the bhaalspawn die so that he alone already so close to the crown could take it for himself) and almost regretful that he didn't have a better excuse

You continue forward and finally come into the room with the Crown of Karsus and the portfolio labeled “Accelerated Grand Design”, there they encounter a boss fight, probably not mephisto himself cus they’d be dead tbh but maybe a simulacrum or something idk here things get a bit dicey for me cus what the fuck! How do they get out? I thought maybe they do the fight and once they grab everything they need or want they maybe have an enhanced cloak of dimension door or maybe a scroll of teleportation or something to get them out of the deep deep VAULTS themselves and into a place where they can “safely” create another circle on this side with the components and specific instructions Helsik gave them 

They’d arrive home back in Baldur’s Gate and celebrate their victory briefly and bada bing bada boom the dlc is over. If i had it my way at the end right there those two idiot geniuses would get so horny from the powerrush and bloodlust they just experienced that they end the dlc with durgetash fucking nasty 

[thegreatyin]

Your posts about Fallen London are slowly tempting me into playing it- do you have any tips to start or is it best to play it completely blind?

i have a few tips and tricks! mind you im far from a veteran and i basically got my hand held by tumblr for most of the game so take everything with a grain of salt. you can and should do whatever you want always. i don't personally play it blind, but you may get more enjoyment out of it if you do, and that's awesome and im super happy for you. this is what i can say from experience:

take your time with it. this is like. the numero uno fallen london tip. it's not a game where you rush to the end in a week. it's a game where you do 10-minute-intervals of a marathon to the end in maybe a few months if you know what you're doing. spending money on action refills usually isn't worth it when you can just mosey on through neathly life one storylet at a time. a vast majority of the game's content is completely free to everyone, and while the monthly subscription options are pretty neat and let you play some exclusive story stuff (that can be pretty fire- cricket anyone basically defined the scoundrel's entire character) none of it is required and 99% of the time you aren't missing out on anything by just taking your time and exploring the neath at your own pace.

you need to raise all of your skills eventually! this is, uh. something im horribly guilty of not following myself. you can (and probably should) pick at least two stats to focus on for your character (most of the time these will be your main ambition stats, aka the closest thing FL has to a main story questline) but eventually you Will be expected to have them all at around the 100 range, minimum. for certain Super Late-game Story Content, watchful 200 is mandatory to start it, so if you have trouble choosing i'd recommend leveling that bad boy first. don't neglect your other stats though!!! don't be like me. don't be like my poor poor neglected shadowy and dangerous. it's too late for me. save yourself.

friends are fun and free and you are legally mandated to exploit them for fun and profit. okay you really aren't mandated to exploit your FL friends list but you totally should anyway just for goofy sillies. to be less jokey about it, while fallen london is primarily a single-player gaming experience, the playerbase is super friendly and super open to helping each other out (especially new players!). go on reddit, ask around on tumblr, get yourself a few buddies and use them as resources to gain items and stats and menace reduction i mean. valued companions that im sure you will treasure forever and definitely not backstab to publish that inflammatory newspaper article you've been cooking up.

on a very loosely similar note, the fallen london wiki is your best friend. yes, we're following stardew rules with this one. this is the kind of game best optimally played with a wiki article or three open in the neighboring tabs so you can follow along and know what is what. there's tons of guides on basically every part of FL, and it's no shame at all to reach out to either it or the wider community if you get stuck or feel lost at something.

if an in-game storylet has bold text, it will never lie to you! except for when it does. but that's very very very rare. you can always trust the bold text. it is always your friend. i prommy. which brings us neatly into our next bulletpoint,

seeking the name is ill-advised because it's the only storyline that can permanently brick your account at its conclusion. don't worry, the ease at which you can avoid this is practically comical, and the game will Always give you multiple chances to opt-out if you somehow accidentally start it anyway. most people make a dedicated alt character entirely for the purpose of sacrificing them to the well of doom. unless you're playing with your eyes closed for multiple months straight, you'll never run into SMEN without deliberately chasing it, and if you somehow get to that point honestly man just ignore this entire bulletpoint and see how far the rabbithole goes. go on. it's friendly :)

batfucking is always the right answer to any problem ever

echoes/the game's standard currency should always be thought of as a method of gaining items rather than a strict hoard of video game dollars. money-making can be super difficult in the earlygame, but it gets exponentially easier as you go further on. you shouldn't be afraid to sell anything you don't need, though personally i'd recommend keeping an "insurance stock" of the most basic items just in case. this includes rostygold, moon-pearls, honey droplets, etc. by-and-large, these are the easiest items to get in a pinch, and it usually isn't worth buying them from the bazaar when you can otherwise get them naturally through other methods around london. once you've got a good lodgings setup and feel decently familiar with the earlygame zones and their options, you should aim to have at minimum 1,000 of these bad boys on hand at any given time, then feel free to sell any excess you make for some quick cash in a pinch.

menaces aren't as bad as you may think, but be wary of specifically suspicion! the four main menace qualities you'll encounter in the earlygame are nightmares, wounds, scandal, and suspicion. when one of these menace stacks reach 8, you'll automatically be trapped in a unique location corresponding to whatever menace you raised too high and will have to spend time working your way out. some (nightmares and wounds) tend to fly-by rather quickly, while others (scandal and suspicion) tend to take a bit longer to get out of. none of these mean the end of your playthrough or your character, and some quests even require you to visit certain menace-exclusive locations! there are tons of items and ways to reduce menaces and keep yourself out of Situations such as these, but suspicion in particular is probably the only menace you should avoid maxing At All Costs. when your suspicion gets too high and you get sent to its special menace zone too often, you build up a criminal record that makes it harder to reduce suspicion in the future. fortunately, suspicion is the only menace with this gimmick, and before this record gets too high it's just as easy to keep row as the rest of the lot. TLDR, death from wounds is easy to escape from, but avoiding the strongarm of the law is substantially more annoying and inconvenient.

or you could be like tumblr user @with-bells-upon, who's apparently avoided death at all costs and apparently hasn't died once in the entire several months they've been playing. i don't even know how they've gotten this far without doing that. it's kind of impressive, kind of funny. especially since their ambition is one the few requiring you to die to proceed. this isn't a piece of advice i just wanted to affectionately call them out because what the heck

speaking of ambitions, pick the ambition that's right for you! ambitions are the biggest overarching questline in the game, and their requirements and rewards span the entire neath and occasionally even beyond. all four ambitions are meant to be started early and last well into the mid and late game. outside of a certain special situation regarding the light fingers ambition (the only ambition that explicitly lies to you in-game when describing its premise) you can't change your ambition without spending money, so choose carefully and choose well. they're all (mostly) equally rewarding and equally fulfilling adventures that will define your player character and your journey through the neath. there's tons of advice and spoiler-free summaries of each ambition online, so i won't cover it all here. just do your research (or don't, if you prefer) and follow your heart. maybe playing the world's most high-stake poker game ever speaks to you. maybe you want to commit a murder. maybe you want to commit a murder in the name of justice and/or revenge. maybe you just want a really really big really really shiny rock. all can be found in the neath, and all shall (eventually) be well.

if you buy 400 lucky weasels you get a special achievement. i don't need to say more.

make up a guy. this is another legal mandate if you're a fallen london player. you have to make up your own little sicko victorian london guy and roleplay them while you play. trust me. it's fun. it's free. they're going to haunt you forever. the scoundrel got a nickname like 4 months ago and ever since my mind has never known peace.

and probably most important of all, fallen london might not be the game for you, and that's okay. it includes a lot of reading. and grinding. and i do mean a lot of reading and grinding. particularly the latter, which tends to throw people off the most out of anything. it's a very niche game for a very niche audience and getting into it can be an acquired taste at the best of times. but when you do get into it, it's some Really good writing and Really in-depth worldbuilding and the most fun you'll ever have imagining sicko victorian guys running around building train stations and railway tracks directly to hell. take your time, have fun, and most important of all, always look to love.

anyway yeah that's my fallen london tips and tricks list isn't it really short and comprehendible

[epicthemusical]

Killed for Mercy

WARNING THUNDER SAGA SPOILERS

blame the EPIC writing discord server for this-

“Choose, you or your crew.” Odysseus feels exhausted, the guilt dragging him down. He wants to be angry and scream at the gods for this but he doesn't have the energy anymore. In the end Eurylochus is right since he had all the power he must carry all the blame. He should have led them better. His arrogance in revealing his name to the cyclops caused 550 men to drown. He had failed to keep the bag closed. Then his first mistake of deciding to go to the cyclops cave caused Polites to die…Gods what would Polites think if he could see the monster he had become? Maybe he deserves to die and at least this way he could spare his crew. But then there is Penelope and Telemachus. He may be tainted in blood and death but he has to get home and keep them safe. He is the only one who can make sure they are safe.

“..Captain?” His brother begs for an answer just like he did after the lair of Scylla.

“Eurylochus.” That's right he's not the only one that could keep them safe…Eurylochus is his brother in law, surely he would keep his family safe for him. He has decided then but he has to apologize first, for failing as their Captain.

“Im sor-” Before he can finish he coughs up blood staring at the sword in his chest in shock. The sword is pulled out and he starts to fall. Before he hits the deck, arms wrap around him and hold him gently. He looks up and sees Eurylochus there, tears streaming down his face.

“I'm sorry Ody but I can't let you sacrifice the crew.” Odysseus feels the urge to laugh at the irony. He guesses this is a fitting way for him to die. Even if he may have deserved it he feels tears fall as the wound from the betrayal that had not yet healed is ripped open again. Still he doesn't want Eurylochus to feel more guilt than he already will.

“I forgive you. Can you take care of Penelope and Telemachus for me please?” His request is tinged with desperation as he waits for Eurylochus to answer

“Of course I swear I will keep them safe for you.” Odysseus nods and another cough, more blood lost.

“Hey Zeus, I choose to die in my crew's place!” A pause before Zeus replies

“Very well Odysseus of Ithaca. You will be dead soon anyway .” Zeus leaves and Eurylochus gently holds Odysseus close, both of them crying. Odysseus feels his vision turning black and he knows his time is almost out.

“I'm sorry Eury…for everything. I only hope that Polites will forgive me when we meet again…Thank you…” His final words said he goes limp in Eurylochus arms.

“No brother, I'm the one who should be sorry..” Eurylochus whispers as he sobs over Odysseus body.

[pumpkinsy0]

PUMPKIN I NEED YOU TO GIVE ME AS MANY REASONS WHY PURLY IS THE BEST SHIP!! MY FRIEND IS TRYING TO CONVINCE ME THAT IT SUCKS AND I NEED TO PROVE HER WRONG

-🍵🧊

this feels like the equivalent of giving the bat signal in the sky for me to come

ANYWAYS LETS GO🚨🚨🚨

shipping papercut is like making a sandwich at subway, u can say it sucks all u want, but my brother in christ, U made it that way, this ship is like one of thee “u can do whatever the fuck u want w these two and u can make it make sense” ship u can possibly have in this fandom, if u dont like papercut, maybe its just UR rendition of it u dont like, pick it up n try it again w different things added to it to see if u like it🙄🙄

this ship is literally at the VERY BASE of it, opposites that compliment each other attracting and high school sweethearts and ur telling me ur not at least a lil interested🤨🤨AND I WASNT KISSING W THE ARTISTIC LIBERTY U CAN TAKE W THESE TWO, they can literally be enemies to lovers, that aloof couple trope, fake dating that turned real, u can even make ur own way on how they got together, u can pick and choose its like an all u can eat buffet, ur not rlly “trapped by canon” here

these r literally two dumbasses together like all the time, just imagine the dumb but sweet things they find themselves doin, and the ppl they annoy, just have a heart

if u like angst, curly was in the reformatory for 6 months after ponys life was quite literally changed forever, curly doesnt quite understand his own emotions, pony tries to see the good in the world while curlys always in trouble, AND THERES OTHERS IF U JUST DIP UR TOES INTO SHIPPING EM, the angst potential is RIGHT there🗣️🗣️

at the very base of this ship, theres nothing wrong w it, theres no weird age gap, they wouldnt be abusive towards each other, and ik some ppl have issues w this but also, but its a rare “not dating within the gang” ship, so u would HAVE to go out of ur WAY to make it weird, literally nothing wrong w this ship

if u love the relationship pony has w the gang, this ship can definitely help u expand on ponys relationship w everyone as a whole and u can show off just how protective the guys can become when it comes to pony in his own romantic relationships, what other ship u know is doin that🤨🤨BARELY ANY OF EM IF U DID NAME SOME🗣️🗣️🗣️

honestly same thing goes w the shepards, theres no other ship where u have angela and tim’s relationships w curly being explored through any other ship

while pony and curly r friends during the outsiders, its obvious they arent THAT close to each other, and so what i find interesting about this ship is that u can imagine their own little relationship actually building up and the trust in each other growing, as time goes on, i just think its cool to see them actually flourish, just make something entirely new because of the other and with each other, in a different way from other ships in this fandom

im a literal suckerrrr for cultural hcs so i love when theres cultural aspects actually shown with this ship i think its so cool bc it can get pretty intimate, like curly showing and introducing pony to parts of his culture???? so intimate actually SO underrated, and thats rlly only something i see done w the shepards and it rubs off on this ship as well and i love it 1000/10 (while we here can i convince u of haitian shepards🤔🤔 /lh)

they have shared experiences!!! yes they r opposites attract but they r also just some guys who r put in the same situation, trying to navigate life and protect each other, together, and even in their personal lives, theres things that should push them away from the other but it doesnt, they r this fandoms ship equivalent of the indomitable human spirit and thats all bc they r stupid lil dudes together

are u not a sucker for a guy whos pretty much been closed off emotionally a good chunk of his life finding someone to share his life w and finally finding learning to chillax once in a while w that person and that person alone cause theyre special to em?? boooooo🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱thats such a good trope

this is like the only ship where u actually have “rival” gangs interacting w each other,,,WHERE IS UR SENSE OF ADVENTURE

every shipper of them is literally so cool, like literally, ive never met a shitty shipper of these two, shipping them is like having a vip pass, and its not even like a huge group of ppl, its a small community, we r like a quiet village, unlike SOME SHIPS HERE🙄🙄

ANYWAYS i rest my case, ur just bein a lil haterrrr

if this aint convince ur friend that they arent at least a lil good, the problem isnt the ship,,,its ur friend,,,drop em immediately, but if this did??? welcome to the cool club

[heelycular-manslaughter]

Hellbreak, the working title for one of my more "official" (very, very low bar for that term) TTRPG projects uses a modified version of Spencer Campbell's Lumen system that I havent thought of a good name for, but it started with my FPS-inspired game Luminous Vein, and focuses a lot on using actions, moves, and a third thing (in Hellbreak they're Casts) as resources for each turn in combat. Besides Lumen, my primary inspirations have been Hades and Kill Six Billion Demons. idk why i sound so official now the game is just a bunch of words on a text document i just think some of its kinda cool

In the last update I showed one of my gimmick weapon options, but this one is a little more conventional (or at least easier to write). Its similar to the Soul Daggers in Lumin. Vein and the Puppeteer class I made for Slayers and never mentioned before so idk why im bringing it up now.

Puppet Daggers

Used only by nameless ones throughout history. 

Twin Blades: You start with only two blades. Enemies attacked by Throw are tracked as having a dagger embedded in them. If there are 2 daggers embedded in enemies, you need to use Pull before you can make any other attacks.

Puppet Daggers Actions:

Slice: Can use a cast or an action. Deals 1 harm to a target in Close range. 

Dice: Deal 2 harm to a target in Close range. 

Throw: Deal 2 harm to a target in Near range. This action can be used twice before requiring the Pull action.

Pull: Bring a dagger within Beyond range back to you, dealing 1 harm to the target the dagger is embedded in. 

Puppet Daggers Aspects:

(Costs 1 Titan Blood) Aspect of the Puppet: Throw moves you with the daggers, moving you to Close range of the target.

(Costs 1 Titan Blood) Aspect of Thieves: All coin drops and rewards give you +5 coins.

(Costs 2 Titan Blood) Aspect of Mercenaries: Slice deals +1 harm.

(Costs 2 Titan Blood) Aspect of Assassins: Throw's range is now Near-Far. 

(Costs 2 Titan Blood) Aspect of Air: you can dodge one attack per turn.

(Costs 3 Titan Blood) Aspect of Puppeteers: Replaces the Puppet Daggers action list with the following:

Throw: Deal 2 harm to a target in Near range. This action can be used twice before requiring the Pull action.

Pull: Bring a dagger within Beyond range back to you, dealing 1 harm to the target the dagger is embedded in. 

Pierce: Deal 1 harm to a target in Close range.

Redirect: If an enemy has a dagger embedded in them, you can force their next actions to be directed wherever you choose.

Stop: If an enemy has a dagger embedded in them, you can make them not have an action on the GM turn.

I'm a bit less freakish about the themes of control than I am with other puppet-themed abilities i've made but dont worry im still a pervert about some of the other stuff in this game

vote for the next thing if you'd like

prev update (Plaster Yo-Yo)

[sm-writes-chaos]

I’m going to complain about Descendants rise of red because I’m so disappointed and frustrated with the writing and I need to talk about some of it. This will probably make no sense if you haven’t seen it. (It just came out today and it’s already the worst.)

Long Rant incoming

There's a lot of movies that are bad.
Usually because it's just not good, or it's 'meh', or not original or creative enough. 
But this, Descendants Rise of Red was DOWNRIGHT TERRIBLE. (NO IM NOT EXAGGERATING)


They didn't just not try, they didn't bother to put ONE SINGLE BRAIN CELL in it.
Everything down to the music, story, costumes, hair etc. 
But I'm not even going to touch on that because those are whole other cans of worms. I'm going to dig into the story can of worms because I'm more knowledgeable on that.

First of all the pacing was nonexistent. 
The beginning was messy and unfocusing, the middle was building up to many possible scenes but ultimately was proved useless by the anticlimactic and too quick ending.

They built up to settings and scenes like Castlecoming, but never showed it because the conflict was resolved before it could even happen.

Characters were wasted by being merely name drops and things to point out like 'oh look it's the young version of the character we know from when descendants at least had descent plot progression!'

And the character, oh the characters...it's a travesty.

(The plot is that the queen of hearts has taken over Auradon and her daughter and Cinderella’s daughter go back in time to stop it, back to a time before the queen of hearts become evil because she was pranked once.)

They build up (again!) a big horrible thing that happened to the Queen of Hearts and then don't even reveal it in an exciting way. Revealing it in two lines of dialogue almost at the very beginning. And it wasn't even that terrible, it's not enough to explain how her personality took a COMPLETE 180.

If they revealed later that there was more to it, then that reveal would've been fine! But they didn't!!

Bridget (the queen of hearts) mentioned she was homeschooled, as her daughter also is, so maybe there's some generational trauma there. But they never mention it again! They could've included the queen of hearts mom to explain her sudden shift in behavior but no, public humiliation is enough to MAKE SOMEONE BECOME A DICTATOR OBSESSED WITH CHOPPING OFF PEOPLES HEADS.

I thought maybe betrayal from a loved one would've been enough because she CONSTANTLY reiterates that 'love ain't it.' But guess what, NO.

It was an established bully that caused her public humiliation, when it would've made more sense for Cinderella to be the one to have been part of the prank because they were close. (A friendship they hardly bother to show by the way.)

And speaking of Cinderella, at first I didn't understand why we were choosing to focus on her abuse and why it was such a shock to HER DAUGHTER. Wouldn't she have told her??

But never mind that, it was shown and focused on because her daughter Chloe had to learn that everything isn't black and white. That bad things happen to good people and that good people don't always follow the rules.

A MINDSET THAT WAS NEVER PREVIOUSLY ESTABLISHED BY THE WAY

So I was very confused until another terrible song made me realize that's what they were trying to do, a very shoehorned in lesson.

Then there's the biggest plot hole to EVER PLOT HOLE.

They find out the bully gang is going to turn Bridget (the queen of hearts) into a monster during the dance (Castlecoming, which we never get to see!), using a spell from the 'Sorcerers Cookbook.'

They never explain that the bully gang is going to steal that cookbook because during (another terrible!) song they see the recipe, so I thought they already had it!

But when they steal the cookbook it curses them because it's 'in the wrong hands.' SO HOW DID THEY EVER USE THE COOKBOOK TO PRANK BRIDGET IN THE FIRST PLACE IF THE BOOK IS ENCHANTED???!?????

I thought this was going to be a plot twist where it turns out the bullies aren't actually the ones who pull the prank. No. Nope. Not at all.

It all ends there and every conflict is resolved and it ends with a reprise of another terrible song!

CAN YOU SEE HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS MOVIE?

(There's so many more terrible writing choices but I can't think to think another second about this movie.)

Actually never mind I have more

JUST. JUST SHOW THE FRICKING DANCE. Have the prank happen, have them see it. Have us learn why it specifically affects Bridget so much and have Cinderella be involved in the prank. (Or the head of it, why not.)

Bridget had planned a ‘signature dance’ for the dance, don’t let her do it because of the prank. Then at the end when everything is resolved and their back in the future HAVE HER DO IT THEN FOR CLOSURE.

MAYBE EVEN DONT CHANGE THE PAST SO MUCH AND RESOLVE THE LAST CONFLICTS IN THE PRESENT BECAUSE PEOPLE CHANGE AND YOU CABT PREVENT THAG AND MAYBE TOU SHOULD HAVE A NICE LONNG MOTHER DAUGHTER TALK

Maybe Cinderella was jealous of Bridget because she wasn’t frickin abused and maybe charming liked her so that’s one motivation for her to do the prank, albeit an overused one, or maybe she was just pushed so hard by her stepfamily that the bullies were able to manipulate her into doing it.

ANYTHING OTHER THAN EVERYTHING THEY DID IN FACT JSUT DELETE THE WHOOE MOVIE ITS A LOST CAUSE YOU EERE RIFHT RED

I’m going crazy save me please at this point I’ll just be rewriting the whole thing I’m like actually disgusted with this writing I don’t know how this got approved no I do it’s for MONEH THAT TERRIBLE MOUSE not to mention that it’s extremely disrespectful because they said they wouldn’t make any more descendants after Cameron Boyce died and they HAD THE AUDACITY TO SHOUTOUT CARLOS LIKE ‘this is what he would’ve wanted’ NO ITS NOT BURN IT

the best they did was cast Brandy as adult Cinderella just give her the rest of the movies run time PLEASE ITD BE SO MUCH BEGTER

[kiriwiwii]

pov: they're your deskmate ☆ KNIGHTS

♡ a/n: hey guys im not dead😭 i didn't have time to write, sorry. i hope yall enjoy this <33 and thanks for 50+ followers💕💕

♡ art by Shi_iK4 on twitter

tsukasa suou

sitting with tsukasa means you're gonna get a lot of free help with your lessons-

he wasn't really friendly when you first sat near him but you both started to get close as time passed.

you can constantly ask him for notes and even if he gets mad he still gives them lol

he has those colorful pens and he takes perfect notes HE'S SO NEAT it's unreal.

cheating on exams? no way. he would kill you.

he just studies all. the. time. you try to talk to him and hes just like "quiet, [name]!" and then he starts his speeches of course "you should study too, you know? there are upcoming exams-" blah blah and the exams are in like what- 2 months?

tsukasa is a very typical good student basically. and if you're like that too, you would get along well! but if you are not... you guys might get into lots of arguments lol.

leo tsukinaga

ok i mean,, where do i even start

he's. the craziest deskmate you could've ever had.

he's the class clown (did i even need to say this) i mean if you are also a class clown then good for you got yourself a friend

if you're not then i'm sorry. he will make you go insane.

but this goes only for the times when he ACTUALLY comes to school.

like on monday he's there doing his thing and all of a sudden he disappears. you won't see him for a week-

man just vanishes. if i did that i would be expelled

he doesn't usually give attention to the teachers, and of course he studies the night right before the exam...

i feel like he has very creative ideas on how to cheat but i dunno if he would put them into action. he says its a wrong thing but then he would help you cheat lol

there are music notes EVERYWHERE on the desk. like you're taking notes and you turn your head to look at your dear deskmate to see what he's up to but you see that guy composing. where tf did he get his inspirations from? math?

and there is also something called paper but no leo chooses the desk.

you both joke a lot tho. i said he makes you go insane but he's hella funny too. teachers get angry at you all the time since yall laugh every second-

izumi sena

he's just a. normal guy. but he is also not. i mean you know how he is

the first thing you noticed was how handsome he was when you first got to your desk to meet him- (or at least that's what i would notice idk)

i feel like he's between tsukasa and leo. like,, he is not weird and loud but he's also not a nerd. just somewhere in between.

whenever you get to your desk you see izumi just annoyed at something. nothing might've happened but he will still find something to be grumpy about-

he might get mad at you if you distract him in class or he might just not care at all. depends on his mood tbh...

he asks you for notes sometimes and helps you in return too. sure if you ask for too much he says "go study yourself, jeez-" but keep begging and he'll definitely help.

ritsu sakuma

hmm it's ritsu i wonder what can i say about him.. something very different,, something you never heard before...

can you guess it? nope never you CAN'T.

im gonna say it... are you ready????

he's SLEEPING.

bet you didn't see that coming huh

ok im sorry but that's just what he does

anyways, say hi to your sleepy little vampire friend. you are going to sit with him from now on.

he's a very cute deskmate actually.

you're paying attention to the class and all of a sudden you feel ritsu's head on your shoulder aaa he fell asleep!

not only on your shoulder but he sleeps on your lap as well. you wake him up when the teacher starts talking about something important tho.

you try to teach him everything after the class since he misses lessons most of the time :(( he's very grateful that you're helping him<3

it's really fun to study with him as well. yall joke around, but also take your exams seriously.

he would try to cheat sometimes i just know it. you guys call yourselves "partners in crime" but the only thing yall do is write some answers on the desk (and they're never useful lol)

arashi narukami

she's the sweeetest deskmate. the most normal person among the others above i swear.

she buys you coffee or some snacks before the lesson starts.

sometimes you get caught up in talking with her and just forget that you're in class lol. if the teacher complains then you both instantly stop and pay attention.

she is always willing to help if you couldn't take notes or didn't understand the lesson.

whenever there is an exam and arashi sees you're worried, she tries her best to calm you down and you study together.

i feel like she would also be organized and she has a very lovely feeling overall so it's really comfortable sitting with her.

[lepoppeta]

For the song asks: Charlestor

charlastor/radiobelle has the benefit of relating to a lot of tropes and aesthetics in media that i already really enjoy and have a lot of content for. that being said, the songs ive chosen for them relate more to the pilot versions of these two characters, where it was speculated that alastor was going to be more of a mysterious, unflappable background mentor figure. ive heard their relationship being compared to that of clarice starling and hannibal lecter from silence of the lambs and hannibal, and i think some of that can vibe definitely be used here.

the first song that ever came to mind for these two (in recent memory) was a dangerous game from the jekyll and hyde musical (sung by anthony warlow and linda eder).

at the touch of your hand, and the sound of your voice, at the moment your eyes meet mine - i am out of my mind, i am out of control, full of feelings i cant define.

its a sin with no name, like a tiger to tame, (and though no-ones to blame) its a crime and a shame, and the angels proclaim its a dangerous game.

im a bit of a sucker for melodramatic gothic musicals, and the vision this song brings to mind is charlie wandering the empty halls of her dilapidated hotel and cautiously dancing with alastor and his army of half-sentient shadows. it relates to charlies pov more than alastors (as in this case he would be singing about her) and how they would have to tread carefully no matter what kind of close relationship they choose to partake in.

next up is me and mr wolf (the real tuesday weld).

you have the thing i love but the fear in me is way too much. if i open wide one of us may get lost inside. me or you, one of us is going to need to die.

my favourite version of this relationship is them being mutually fucked - alastor has never really given much thought to romantic love and hes shocked that hes willing to break so many of his own rules for this silly little slice of heaven in hell; charlie responds well to alastor setting clear boundaries against her sometimes-invasive behavior, and, like any good theatre kid, he "yes-and"s her (instead of vaggies pretty consistent "no"s). however, this song also touches on the fact that charlie is (or should be) at least alastors equal in power, if not far beyond him, and its a warning that neither of them should overstep in either love or anger.

the last one ill leave you with is actually one that was made canon by helluva - its look my way (paranoid DJ, but the alternate version sung by bryce pinkham) and its a bit of an ooc situation from alastors point of view.

unless its me, and no matter what in this world i could give - its not enough to get through the walls youve conjured up to live. is this what you feel? scorned by a world that cannot comprehend what you are, so ill grant you this mercy - this bind on our souls needs to end.

this is taking into account the deal that charlie makes with alastor in the penultimate episode of the first season of hazbin. the idea is that alastor (or at least, the speculative pilot version of alastor) strongly admires charlies perseverance against her own people - the very beings shes trying so hard to save. while charlie is a relatively open book he knows that she probably doesnt let anyone, not even her own girlfriend/best friend, see the emotional toll this project has taken on her (again, this tying in more to the pilot personalities of these characters), and hes upset that her deal with him has only made things worse in that regard. he makes the choice, to his own detriment, to sever the deal without her knowledge, so that if she doesnt keep her end of the bargain it will be of no consequence to her.

[amourtoken]

AHHH HAII I’m so glad you enjoy the reaction pictures I send you because I choose the best for you ☺️💕

And a very simple thought popped into my head as I was strolling through the Halloween aisle at Walmart and I had to share it with you…what positions do we think would be Ari’s favorite, because I’m thinking some of them have to involve real intense eye contact because he’s an evil little shit that likes making you look at him as if he’s not fucking you within an inch of your life

U genuinely make my day I stg every time u show up I'm like YES GODDDDDDD 😩😩

BUT agreed for sure this man needs eye contact cause he needs that connection.

Im thinking firstly he's gotta be a missionary fan but he at least spices it up with a hand around your throat keeping your attention directly on him. It's a pretty versatile position honestly and idk why people think it's boring cause there's so much you can do with it. If you're feeling more vanilla that's fine, it fits in perfectly and you can just lazily wrap your legs around his waist while he rocks into you and presses kisses all over your face while complimenting every inch of your body n telling you how much he really loves you. On the other hand, he can shove your knees up to your ears and choke you out until black spots are flooding your vision and you're in tears from the way his cock is hitting all the right spots over and over and over. Either way, it's the perfect position for some lovely eye contact until your eyes roll back.

He strikes me as the type to loveeee cowgirl too cause he can hold you so fucking close. There's great opportunity for eye contact there too when your arms are around his neck and you're bouncing on his dick n whining his name when he sinks his nails into your soft hips. Usually he doesn't mind doing all the work but he'd be lying if he said he didn't think watching you fuck yourself on his cock while he leans back against the couch cushions with a blunt in his hand wasn't heavenly.

The position you two are in ultimately doesn't really matter to him though as long as you're as close as you can get. He needs to have his hands on you, arms around you, eyes on yours. Doesn't matter how. He hated going on tour without you cause sure he can fuck his fist and eventually get off but that'll never ever compare to burying his face in your neck and holding you as close as he possibly can while his cum drips out of you.

As an added treat lmao here's some links that remind me of him:

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[volivolition]

If able, could we get an update on any of your writings? I loved hearing about them (Not forcing, ofc!)

YOU SURE CAN ANON!! again, as with all of these asks, thank you so much for being interested in my work??? i LOVE talking about my silly fics <333

here's a rough timeline of all my fics btw!! i thought it'd be fun to visualize hkgj i'll be talking a little about all the ones i haven't yet talked about!!

Preface, here's all my fic wips as explained before!! and all my writing can be found in my #inland drabbles tag! ask 1, ask 2!

Message to All Bitches: Please Survive - This funny title has been the name for a while, but I think if I had to choose a serious one, it'd be "Should the Stars Go Out" :3 This is my most ambitious project of all my skill wips, I think, due to the medium i intend on telling it in (it is. technically not a fic?? hkjg) this is also my most secretive project hkgj <33 word count(?) is 2908!!

Meet the Parts that Make You - Kim meeting the Skills fic, though it's mostly been abandoned by now hkgj well, not abandoned, i still really love the concept? but I need to get a bunch of these other fics done first (Let's Make It a Home for worldbuilding, Swept Up for character studies) so I can get everything correct, before introducing it all to Kim hkgjg <33 Nevertheless, word count is 5459!

The Sunrise Momentum - Mostly abandoned, but i still froth at the fuckin mouth thinking about it RAUGHHH. HOLY VOWS. waking up, getting out of bed with depression, that part of you that wants you to live, caring about you so so so fucking much. this hypothetical fic hits very close to home <3 i promise i will keep you alive, as long as you're there to wake up every morning. willpower and devotion. volition is kind of everything to me did you know that? hkgjg current word count: 331 <3

Who Are You, If Not... - Esprit De Corps centered fic! i wrote a lot about it in this ask, but basically: hey, if Harry leaves the RCM, what the fuck happens to Esprit? i have some personal feelings about leaving a community that only used you for what you could give them. to keep going back, trying to check on them time and time again, even when they hurt you. it's cathartic to put it in the perspective of this fic, i think :] also i just think the psyche group is fun for discussions hgkjg esprit, my darling community skill!! current word count: 1497

When Two Skills Love Each Other Very Much - again, funny silly title hgkjg but i think its serious name would be, like, Summer Solace or something? brightest day of the year, sunrise parabellum. hypothetical child of volition and echem, she's hope, y'know? small and trying to grow. something to carefully tend to, to keep alive, and in turn she will keep you alive. this fuckin. symbolism raguguhh i love you baby solace you are MY ANGELLLLLLLLL!!!!!! <333

I THINK THIS FIC IS SO SWEET I LOVE THE SKILLS TRYING TO RAISE A KID HGKJG im so.. it's like how Let's Make It Home redux, the skills are kinda dysfunctional, but they've grown and they're getting better too and they're trying to work together towards a common goal, and together they can do it. i think they've gotten a lot better about working together!! and they all care for this kid a lot <333

Here's a snippet because oh my god i am fond of them (not in AO3 ready format though hkjg)

ELECTROCHEMISTRY presses a tentacle to his cheek to prop up the grin on his face - Hey, man, we've never raised a kid before. Give us *some* credit, at least. VOLITION holds Solace to his chest. She sleeps peacefully, starbright face pressed to his armor at his heart - I am. I think -- despite all the mishaps -- we've been covering all our bases surprisingly well. We wouldn't have been able to do this when we woke up in Martinaise, is all I'm saying here. VOLITION looks up and exchanges a fond glance with Electrochemistry - We've... all grown a lot, haven't we?

^ like hey. if you uh. compare that last volition line to the last volition line in the snippet i shared for unstoppable force? where now volition cannot only meet echem's eye, but LET HIMSELF FEEL AFFECTION FOR HIM?? oh my GOD the parallels, the character growth, i WILL PERISH.

i still do think this fic would be better as a comic hkgjg it feels like a good story to cap it off, and if i ever get the rest of these fics done, i'd want to end on it if i could hkjgg <33 LOOK AT THEIR CHARACTER ARCS. LOOK AT THEM FINDING JOY. GIVING THEM A HAPPY ENDING HKJG

that's about it, i think!! thank you for reading!! (and holy fuckin shit if you've read all of these i will. die for you now. i really appreciate anyone who takes the time to read my rambles, i love you hgkjg <33)

[scintillating-galaxias]

im so so intrigued by lettie and her winding up in the trinity batch, but also tending to be emotionally reserved from her squadmates and coming off as kinda blunt.

does she see hex squad as friends, or as patients? the dossier referring to them as 'the others' feels like it could be the latter, but could also be the author choosing not to make personal connections, as all the dossiers are written with a very obvious air of distance and observation and other dossiers (arthur's, as an example) also use the same phrasing when referencing the rest of hex squad.

tbh i think there's evidence for both, but my preferred interpretation is that she does want to be closer as friends, or at least coworkers on good terms, or at least attempt to help them beyond physical healing, but... it's just as the dossier says. she struggles to connect with them emotionally, so a lot of her lines regarding them come across with concern, but also a good deal of critique. she snaps at eleanor to get out of her head while she's reminiscing on love/hate feeling the same to her. she calls out to aoi to chill out and do something for herself instead of worrying about arthur all the time (while also calling her 'hermana' as a term of exasperated endearment). she seems especially short towards quincy*.

i don't think she intends to correct their behavior or something. it's possible from the perspective of a strategist who wants to stamp out and push aside emotional problems to focus on present. but i think it's a mix of that, her paranoia, and genuine concern. it's just, to me, her concern comes across a bit harsh. we know she's compassionate through her rat colony (which is also SO cute) ofc, which could also be her version of a trial run to start emotionally opening up to the rest of hex squad and connecting with them. i wonder what her rats will be named, if we get to know.

but all that being said, maybe she isn't harsh at all! maybe it just feels harsh to me as a white, english-speaking player with absolutely no hispanic background or cultural context; maybe her critique Is compassion and i just don't interpret it that way. i'd love to hear other approaches to her. or maybe she's just that emotionally blunted...? a low empathy medic would be a really, REALLY cool character type i don't think we see very often without it being turned into 'heartless mad scientist,' which lettie very clearly isn't, so i hope they explore that more if that's the intent. or maybe as the drifter and our own emotional woes with duviri, we get to help her open up some more.

*her line calling quincy "niño"/child being and clearly intending to be dismissive and diminutive... feels questionable, given the extremely prominent use of "boy" as a racial epithet towards black men in the US, whose racial charge only gained legal recognition in 2006 here. child isn't the same thing as boy, but i kind of feel like it scrapes a bit too close. dunno if anyone else feels the same.