#but as i mentioned in the past this game was a huge inspiration and influence to me

[bluestreel]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT THE FINAL UPDATE IS REAL

[nightly-valkyrie]

'In the Shadow of Sierpinski' post ACT-1 writer's rambles

Forgive me, I'm so brain-rotted about my own fic that I can't help but talk about it even down to the design decisions and process of writing?

Mostly to cover some influences, inspirations, reasonings, and concepts I wanted to carry on into the narrative as it developed from early drafts into what was posted in the fic. Most spoilers for the fic and the game will be kept to below the cut:

Influences & Inspirations :)

>So of course a big influence on the fic was Signalis itself, I could talk on and on about what I did and didn't want to expand on for the purpose of the fic. However, for the sake of brevity I will be kinda short for this part at least. The melding of technology to this point of advancement well beyond what humanity is capable of today, and yet seemingly also stuck in the past is such an appealing look. An almost 'Alien' movie approach that really makes it stick out. That was a feeling I wanted to capture, not just because of a desire to stay faithful to the source material, but also because of my own affections for the cyberpunk genre which 'Signalis' also seems to share a love for. I will get into this later though. One of the biggest tones I wanted to carry over was this glazing over of some of the more dystopian aspects the game carries, Rose Engine leaves a lot of hints toward the state of the in game governments, its beliefs, and its inspirations (East Germany etc...). What they don't do though is ever quite dwell on a lot of the implications the notes and dialogues carry. It was, that, which I wanted to emulate. I tried to make clear in the text many things, but leave what exactly that implication is up to the reader to determine. I hesitate to mention these moments because I really do feel like they're better noticed on your own.

>Another really big inspiration this fic had, and I'll keep this next one shorter, is the cyberpunk genre. The idea of human robots, retro-futuristic technology, and even gifted individuals with telepathic powers all feel pulled straight from the cyberpunk genre and media related to it. And that is just things shown in game (I am also aware of the game's anime inspirations 'Evangelion' and 'Blame' but as far as I'm aware those do have some cyberpunk dna in them as well, i just have much knowledge in the realm of anime). For this fic, I really felt compelled to include the influences of these stories to write this fic. 'Blade Runner 2049' especially had some influence over concepts like Replika identification being linked to the eye/optic.

This detail along with some of the tone is a just small parts that show how it was an overall inspiration. The tone especially in some of the general treatment/attitude toward Replikas by those in power will also give that sense.

>The second to last inspiration I really wanted to mention here was 'Alan Wake 2' and whether or not that is a surprise may depend on your personal familiarity with the game/series. This inspiration is a smaller one but in some of the more dream like confusing parts of the story, the way the wording is meant to loop and double back in a way that feels almost poetic was a huge part. Warning for an early 'Alan Wake 2' spoiler (Intended reading for manuscript page written in alt):

Another inspiration that may become clearer later is the general dealing of how a dreamlike perception over reality. Images like this one from the early game live rent free in my head and help me think about how to describe certain abstract things:

Remedy's general handling of this form of weirdness in a visual medium truly is pretty genius and the work of reinterpreting it into writing has been and will continue to be very enjoyable as i expand more on it in the future.

>Final inspiration I very quickly wanted to touch on is 'The King in Yellow' another fairly obvious one, I have an excerpt in the prologue, it appears in the story and in 'Signalis'. The game especially has a lot of references to it. Ahead of really starting writing I read most of the way through the collection of stories, and finished it while I was writing the first couple chapters. I knew from the start I wanted to really lean into some of the general themes of the anthology and though not obvious as if the end of ACT-1, I will continue to. I highly recommend reading it if only to get a greater understanding of some of the ways 'Signalis' references it. I really feel like it puts a lot in perspective. 'The Demoiselle d'Ys' especially, the latter half of that story really gave me a sense of the love and devotion that is put on display in game.

Okay because describing my decisions behind certain concepts and reasonings requires me to go more in detail I'm putting it below the cut because it carries a bit more spoiler-potential than mere inspiration talk. So if you haven't read the fic please go enjoy it here, beware heavy 'Signalis' spoilers though.

Concepts & Reasonings (Beware Spoilers)

>One of the main things I set out from the start to include in the fic was a lot of the 'weird' things that happen in the game. Moments like when you open the butterfly box and suddenly you're on a mountain top, or when you leave the Penrose for the first time at the beginning of the game. This moment, as well as whenever you first encounter a corrupted Kolibri unit always stuck with me as some of the most memorable moments off the game. That's why I wanted to go out of my way to include them, or moments like them. The first was in the second chapter where Falke uses her bioresonance to infiltrate Tempo's mind and is mentally assaulted in a moment where the narrative intentionally twists and loops over itself which ends with this image:

The image is one of the 'Isle of the dead' paintings overlaid with a German translation of an excerpt from the beginning of the 'King in Yellow'. If you want to read you can refer to this post which has the entire excerpt in full in English. This image was one I made in Krita by of course editing the original and mostly adding details to it to fulfill the vibe that is given when you walk into a room with a corrupted Kolibri and it starts getting bad and you can barely see anything, etc... When it came down to actually including it in the text I was a little on the fence, I for one think that images used sparing enough can really emphasize a moment. Much like some of my other decisions, I know it won't work for everyone, but given the intentionally jarring nature I do feel it fits.

>As for how I went about including the vibe of those first person sequences, I wanted it to feel just as alien and initially sudden as the game handled it. This was done by the use of second person, present tense. As I think was beautifully pointed out in a comment on AO3 by @lopadopalis

The intent was exactly that. To contrast not just in perspective but also subtly in tense as well. To give this almost dreamlike quality I think the first-person sections of the game nailed so well. It's enough that if you glaze past it, you won't pick up on it but it may still leave you that off feeling. That in mind using second-person present tense is likely going to be my way of handling these types of moments going forward, as for the same reason as the image in the text, it gives that slight jarring feeling that is exactly what I'm going for. Hidden in here though is a kind of secret influence I didn't mention before and that is 'Harrow the Ninth'.

While its not so much an influence in terms of content, it is an influence in terms of feeling. This books is in my mind the gold standard of second-person narrative, and it's done so well that no other book was able to make me feel as insane as the first few chapters of this book did. And I say that as a compliment. Go read it (after you read the first book in the series ofc).

>Another thing that was mentioned in the comment from Lopadopalis was the death of the Sierpinski survivors. And that is something I do on some level feel the need to explain. In deciding to kill these characters even as most of them are not shown, I felt a great need to do it well. From the start, I knew I wanted to have them decommissioned, and a big part of that was to really show Dr. Lee's true colors even after they made it clear what stance they hold in regards to Replika life. It was startling to have characters that-were they shown in detail-would have been recognizable to anyone who had played the game, and many did seem to recognize the Ara as she appeared. What worried me was that I would accidentally sweep past it too fast. And I hope that isn't the case. Even if mostly referred to as opposed to shown, it carries some impact and does on some level respect them as legacy characters.

>I feel like I keep giving tanks a million times but I really can't stress how much I appreciate @lynxfrost13 for not just allowing me, but also helping me in including the HOPR who I don't know how to link perfectly so I am linking a lore post that was made: here. Please check it out, and also follow Lynx, genuinely without them I'm not sure I would have made my personal deadline. More generally about the HOPR reference around the middle of Chapter 5; I knew I wanted to include other original Replikas as the ones shown in the game aren't the only ones to exist. However, I'm lazy and didn't want to keep coming up with a ton of Replikas that would end up under-cooked because I couldn't give them each the time they deserved. So I made a post and that's when Lynx reached out and we coordinated a way to include the HOPR as a part of the story not just as a character who will be seen more later, but a part of the lore, connections to existing characters and all. I was (and honestly still am) honored to have have been trusted to write with this unit as a part of my story and I'm so glad Lynx had been available to answer any questions and to check over anything and everything to make sure I'm doing their creation justice. ALSO, that need for original Replikas is still ongoing by the way, if you have one and think it may be cool to have it included, send me a DM or ask! I'd love to try and come up with something, the only one that would probably not work is a Schwan Replika, as the Schwan is the one I've planned for the story (if you did do the same as me though still tell me about it! I'd love to hear about your original Replika types!).

>As one of the last things I very briefly wanted to touch on the relationship as it is portrayed in the fic. One of the things that really pushed me past the 'wouldn't that be neat?' stage of planning this fic and into the 'oh shit it's happening' was the kind of lack of very many Falke/Elster/Ariane fics out there. It was my want to see more that partially caused me to start writing. Many other reasons too, but godddd I have to mention that one. Those 3 make me so ill. It was also partially out of wanting to make a work that will get a lot of eyes on it that kinda presents my interpretation of the Sierpinski S23 Falke having Ariane's memories in addition to Elster's. And thus loves Elster as she does Ariane. It just seems like a thing that isn't necessarily a deep-cut theory, but one that is also at least in my opinion not talked about as much as it should be. Though I do feel like it's picked up a lot of traction very recently. I did write a post on this, most that are willing to read this far into this post have probably already read it but I am gonna link it here anyway.

>Okay, this last part is maybe the most interesting section for the purpose of understanding the general scope of ACT-1 and what changes were made in writing that made it what it is now. To anyone who followed me prior to the publishing of ACT-1, maybe even around when I first started talking about the fic, they may know the intent was for this first part of the story to be much bigger, or maybe a better way to say it is more condensed. ACT-1 was meant to encompass nearly all the time the story spent in the Sierpinski facility. The starting intent was to end with the finalization of the new Replika line teased at the end of Chapter 5, and also in the summary. Overall, things would have been pushed together and likely less time given to characters like Dr. Lee to grow into what they eventually became. The decision to change this scope actually came much later prior to posting than is maybe expected. It was around 2 weeks prior to the 27th, I decided (helped along in the decision by my girlfriend) to make the first ACT what it is now, and expand what was initially 3 chapters into a whole 4 then but now 5. This decision was made not just due to the anniversary growing closer and my concern about missing it, but also because I kept wanting to add more. Chapters began to balloon in length as they became closer to what they now are. It hit a point that, eventually, I had to look at what I had and admit it had far outgrown the initial scope. Deciding then it worked better as the new ACT-1 than all of the time in Sierpinski together. Looking back having posted it, I stand by this decision. This allowed Dr. Lee to bloom into a the character they are now and make the reveal that was their change in demeanor better overall. It also allowed me to expand on some of the aforementioned weirdness moments, the entire section with the Falke looking into Tempo's mind in Carcosa was only a few sentences in that first draft. Lastly it also allowed the build up to where Falke ends up this first draft to feel much better telegraphed and overall better earned; her situation is more believable when more is shown and what that extra space allowed me to set up makes for better moments in the future too!

AND THAT'S THE POST! It's a fuckin big one, but then again there was a lot to talk about. Hopefully this really shows that I mean when I say how much love went into this fic, and how much continues to as it goes on. From fanart (some that's even yet to be released), to incorporating my own enjoyments and personal writing inspirations, even just making the hard decisions so what I make is something I'm proud of. If you read the fic, thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart. And if you read all the way through this monster of a post, then I really appreciate your dedication to my brain-rot.

[fereldanwench]

WIP Wednesday

I was tagged by @wanderingaldecaldo to share some stuff I'm working on so AU rambling it is!

(Also I just realized that I am once again so behind on keeping up with my mentions and asks. I need more hours in the day. 😭)

So as some of y'all know, I am a long-time Tomb Raider super fan, and facets of OG Lara Croft almost always influence my OCs because she is just goals. Valerie was no exception here--Her canon street style and effortlessly cool and tough yet elegant vibes were very much inspired by the one and only Lady Croft.

When I realized that across these three mods (one, two, three) I could make a Tomb Raider Underworld-inspired outfit for Valerie, that just became my sole reason for living for like six hours.

Initially, I wasn't planning on delving into a story or anything with the shots--I just wanted to play with some Tomb Raider-esque settings to get a little break from the high-tech/low-life urban setting to refresh the muse--But then I realized this could actually be the perfect setting to explore another idea I had been sitting on for a while.

I had wanted to play with a Yakuza!Goro AU for some time now (turning to a life of organized crime if Arasaka hadn't picked him up has always seemed like something that could have been in the realm of possibility based on the little bit he shares about his childhood), and Lara does get tangled up with some Yakuza shenanigans in some storylines so 💡💡💡 Treasure Hunter/Yakuza AU: I Only Play for Sport (based on Lara's iconic one-liner in the intro of the 1996 game) was officially born!

Work has been nuts the past few weeks, and I didn't really feel like trying to figure out how to mod tats on Goro myself, so I asked the wonderful @86maylin if she was up for a private commission. Luckily, she was. 🙏🙏🙏 (Thank you again, May!)

This has also been another journey into building with AMM--I have a few very specific scenes in mind, and I wanted them to be in totally original settings created specifically for this AU instead of defaulting to my usual locations (like Hanako's estate).

To kick that off, I decided I wanted to make a little living space for Goro. I got a lot of good practice building a stage, essentially, when I did the little villainess shoot a little while ago, so I felt pretty confident that I could put together something loosely inspired by the Tokyo penthouse Lara visits in Tomb Raider Legend.

That game is almost 20 years old now, though, so the assets there were obviously very limited, and I wanted to make something a little more complete and cozy for Goro's home base, as it were. I'm still not finished with it (maybe like 75% of the way there), but I'm pretty happy with the progress:

And another huge thank you to @bnbc and @arasakas-ronin for y'all's prop packs because they have done a lot to add some of that cool-artifact-treasure-hunting goodness to the scene. (I've used a lot but I think this toy set and this decor set were most prominently used.)

And as for the story itself?

Well, no one's here for the plot, right? 😅

I am slowly working on a couple of photostories inspired by some scenes in the Tomb Raider movies and games, and I have a general gist of the premise: Valerie is a wealthy heiress with a fondness for adventure and recovering lost artifacts with presumed supernatural abilities, and Goro is the right-hand man of a Yakuza boss who has a similar interest in such artifacts. They end up having their sights set on the same artifact (currently unknown to me, lmao, although I am very aware of the issues with the genre when it comes to, yanno, glorifying white Westerners stealing shit from other cultures so I want to be mindful that I don't fall into that same pitfall) and sexy rival treasure hunter shenanigans ensue.

So this is what I've been working on! It's a total pet project, I'm so excited about it, and I figured the time between now and Phantom Liberty coming out would be the best time to just go ham with photomode and mods and create a totally self-indulgent crossover that combines my great video game loves.

And one last thing before I shut up, because I wanna share how Tomb Raider has always been a part of Valerie's background: her surname, Powell, was inspired by Manfred Powell, the antagonist in the 2001 Tomb Raider movie. Bonus fact: I used the name "Nishimura" in this photo story, which is also the name of two characters in the Tomb Raider universe (Lara's friend Toru Nishimura in Legend and her girlfriend Sam Nishimura in the 2013 reboot.)

Okay, if you read all of this, you're now legally obligated to share something you've been working on, too. 💙

[autumnslance]

Hi Autumn/Lyn! First things first, as someone who's embarrassingly into WoLcred stuff, I wanted to say that I love your writing and I'm a huge fan! Thanks for sharing your work with us!

I really relate to your WoL Aeryn (I too am Thavnairian irl Indian, in love with Thancred, love reading, main RDM, etc etc), which is super funny to me because I don't identify at all with my own WoL, who was originally meant as a self-insert, even (I didn't know what an "OC" was so I just made myself but in-game?), but then had her own ideas and went and became her own person (example: she has dyslexia and hates reading). No clue how this happened, and I still love my daughter OC dearly, but… you see why I also love your Aeryn. Lol.

I wanted to ask, did Aeryn inherit her grey eyes from her father? Or does the Thavnairian side of her family have a tendency towards grey eyes too? Does she have any relatives other than Zaine who have grey eyes?

I'm not sure why, but I got fixated on this one little thing because I've always loved grey eyes (especially described in literature) and the idea of a South Asian fantasy-equivalent with grey eyes fascinates me. Anyway, apologies in advance if this is too weird and/or offensive! Also sorry about how long this ask got! Thanks for reading, and I hope you have a great day!

Thank you so much, what a lovely ask to get! And funny how our WoL kids just do their own things, huh? Can't stop won't stop the WoL, not even their own writers. 😉

Aeryn did indeed get her eyes from her father (and it is mentioned most strongly, I think, in Bearing Sins of the Past), though there's probably some predisposition in her mother's side; her mom's eyes were very dark blue. I lean into the fantasy world's idea of "similar, inspired and influenced by, but not 100% the same" for the setting and characters, and am pleased Thavnair ended up labeled by the devs explicitly as a "melting pot" society (which makes sense for such a centrally located trade hub). Since I had Aeryn raised in Thavnair, with her reasons to return to Eorzea as an adult, but this was back in late Heavensward/early Stormblood before we had it in game, I had her mother's people be a more "recent" immigrant group (within the last couple hundred years) so they have mostly assimilated into Thavnairian culture, while maintaining some of their own traditions to give myself leeway, not knowing how the devs would go into the South Asian influences when we eventually got there.

Also I am very white, and know there's nuance I'd be missing, so while I wanted it to be a part of her character, and be respectful, I'm not trying to write about an Indian experience I have no inherent connection to, but a character whose upbringing includes similar influences to shape her. It's a weird and fine line when writing characters different from oneself.

There's also the meta where I based Aeryn's appearance roughly on the unused CGI Midlander woman model, though Aeryn's darker skinned (I'm still not sure if I want to adjust her facial features post-graphics upgrade or not, I might need to play around a bit). I wanted her to do some dragoon stuff for HW, but not just cuz "she's the WoL" so that got some of the backstory in there, which also worked with "she left as a kid and is now returning as an adult." And the idea that 1.0 WoL, based on Meteor (with some color shifts again), was her lost brother and it gave her a weird tie to Ardbert (before Shadowbringers even came out!).

Even the skintones for my FF14 characters are meta, as having played in earlier versions of World of Warcraft where the natural skin color options for humans/dwarves/gnomes/blood elves were "different shades of white", and my priest glowed like a lightbulb under Ashenvale's bloom lighting, seeing the sheer variety of the palettes in FF14 back in HW was a delight, and so Dark Autumn ended up brown cuz it wasn't an option at all in the other game (at that time). Even C'oretta's in the middle of the options for Seekers as my lightest OC...and Iyna being darkest Rava was playing in the Benchmark while annoyed at the examples shown by the devs at that FanFest.

What a character looks like, either in a visual video game or in a piece of writing, often comes early on to me, and in Aeryn's case, there was an appearance I wanted to adjust and build off of, and then went "OK, so what's the reasons for not only her looks, but also X and Y things I want to do with her story, and how would that work and shape her, and let's use the devs' trick of being a little vague here and there for now until the lore updates, and...."

I do fret sometimes, about how my characters look and how I portray them, especially with Thavnair having such a strong inspiring influence. But I mostly follow the game lore, fill in some gaps with light research, make up a few of my own things and remain consistent with them, and try to be true to the character and story I've written, and let the rest sort itself out. I can't and won't please everyone, but I'm always glad to hear from those who love my girls and their stories.

[idolatrybarbie]

Hey darling, these questions please

10, 11, 12 from personal asks

18, 19, 20 from the writing asks

skyeee ! thank you 🥺 you are always so cool and it always makes my day when i see you around 💕

10. last movie you watched?

Five Nights at Freddy's (2023) !!! I have been following the production of that film since January of this year (I love Josh Hutcherson.) It was so dope to see in theaters as a childhood fan of the game and a huge fan of both Matt Lillard and Josh Hutcherson. Also wanted to lick JHutch's face the whole time. That's my girlfriend. Have I mentioned how much I love him?

11. last book you read?

oh girl...uh. not counting Shakespeare it's been...a minute. probably Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes by Suzanne Collins. no I didn't finish it.

12. last show you watched?

criminal minds is my comfort show, unfortunately for everyone, and also unfortunately for everyone i have been needing a lot of comfort this past month. idk if falling asleep to the serial murder show or the silent hill 3 OST is worse. you decide!

18. when do you get most of your ideas and inspiration for writing?

honestly when i'm doing fuck all is the best time for my brain to create things. high fever brought me the idea for revisionist history as it currently is, and having this cold now (one month later) has me co-writing a mad men au 🤠 and finishing a marcus pike oneshot. not getting any scripts done for class but whatever lol

19. describe your editing process

honestly...bad. ok well no. let's go with light. lighter than it should probably be. I edit in chunks as I write, then I'll leave it and specifically go back in to edit. Then I'll make some more tweaks and although I know it isn't perfect, I post and then usually ~the next day-ish I go into the post (on ao3 or Tumblr) and find any typos once again.

20. music, ambient noise, or silence when writing?

music always unless it's a specific scene that I can pull up specific youtube soundscapes for ...like a zombie apocalypse for example *cough*. anyway— the world tipped on its side and subsequent chapters are named after songs/lyrics, music heavily influences what I write and how I write it. with my place on the spectrum, it's really hard to function without music - it's kind of an integral part of my existence at this point. that's why my headphones look like shit 😭

questions!

[curedeity]

If you’ve got any, 17 for the fanfic ask?

17. Do you have any other writers or works that inspire you (i think that was the question i didnt copy paste)

Yes always and inspo is one of my favorite things to talk about!

One of my first writing inspirations was the Percy Jackson books, and that phase of my life still kind of influences the genres im interested in writing and the like. I read a lot more novels when i was younger so i remember having more distinct favorites back then. As for novels right now, Id say Kelly Barnhill is one of the bedt authors ive recently read. Her narrative style is quite captivating, her chapters are short, and there is always a slightly different progression than i imagine there being. Ive only finished "the girl who drank the moon" but i started both "iron-heart(ed?) violet" and "when women were dragons". I wish i still used goodreads so i could go theough a list of what books id read recently, but i wanna quickly mention ve schwab. Her books are hit or miss and not always the best but damn sometimes she puts out a banger, and when she tries she can have an impeccable narrative style that leaves me breathless. Sometimes i also like reading neil gaiman works. They both intrigue and inspire me somewhat but i dont think to the same extent other authors have

Now that was JUST novel inspos!

A lot of my main writing inspiration actually comes from podcasts. Welcome to Night Vale was a huge early writing inspiration for me, introducing me to a surreal style of writing that i love getting to develop. Wtnv and other productions by its team are often so stylish that it is impossible to not be inspored listening to them. I think wtnv and within the wires are my faborites on a writing level.

Cant forget the magnus archives, the narration is very slick and the interconnected plot growth so well done, along with really good and intriguing inpersonal dynamics that never failed to offer something intriguing. I never finished season 5 but i remember listening to just some of the first episodes and being awestruck at how stylish the writing was.

Then there is unwell podcast! One of my favorite pidcasts to discuss on a writing level, it has so many ups and downs, but one thing i will give it is having great character voices! There is not a single character that doesnt speak distinctly and the dialogue flows so well, being one of the best parts of the show. Id love to be able to write character voices as well as they do.

For tv shows now!

Madoka Magica has squickly become a huge writing inspiration for me. Honestly, more like the crown jewel of great writing. I cannot praise madoka magicas writing enough. Its thematic unravelling is so layered, its character writing gripping, its way of writing narrative parallels and foils impeccable, and just. God. Incredible. I cannot explain how much i want to be able to write on madoka magicas level. But madoka magica is the only show ill mention bc the other stuff i watch is often shit.

Uhhhhhhh for video games... i havent played that many yet sorry. While i love pokemon, it isnt a writing inspiration, and most games i play dont speqk to me like that.

And then comes the format thet is probably most applicable... fanfic...

Ill admit i read a lot of fanfic, but i dont actually think that many inspire me writing wise, so ill take a second and just focus on beyblade to say Val was my biggest inspiration to write beyblade fanfic in my fandom early days. I was inspired by some of the stuff she did, and especially some character dynamics (madoka and yuki) but realized i wanted to do incredibly different things. So i think her inspiration wasnt so much of "oh god i love this idea and characyers and synamic and plot" but just like, more of a realization of what i might be able to do with the characters as a whole?

Also wanna drop that Sadie has an impeccable writing style omg im literally eating it up i need it. Sadies art is also a huge inspiration for me to the surprise of no one who has seen Hikarus Adoption Agenda.

[caffeinatedowlbear]

Hi! I'm a big fan of your work! I really love lost and found (so far, I'm 75% done with the first book, so you still have ample time to hurt me with later plots lol) and I especially love your writing style. It feels so human and beautifully contrasts with Jack's most in human moments, which end up standing out and being some of my favorite moments.

I would love to be able to pick around in your brain real quick.

First: What do you read? Since most writers are inspired by what they read and get alot of the foundations of their writing style from it aswell, I was wondering what built those foundations for you. Childhood books? Maybe you read something that sparked your interest in writing?

Second: Could we maybe get a peek into your writing process at some point? How you plan or dont plan chapters? How far ahead do you plan? Do you set any particular goals?

Thank you for any answers you give me and also for inspiring me to take my own writing a little more seriously than I did before! You've really inspired me, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. :)

Hi! Thank you for the ask, and for your patience. This year so far has been a bit chaotic, and I wanted to set aside the time to answer properly. :)

First of all, I'm so glad you've been enjoying Lost and Found! This fic, as well as Rhack in general, have been a huge part of my life for the past few years, and I've been blown away by the reception of what started out as a very personal and niche project. 💛

Now, for the questions.

1. Reading and inspirations / style foundations

I've got an interesting relationship with reading, in that I've read a tremendous amount as a child/teenager, but some time during the past decade (I'm in my 30s), my brain has developed a bit of a block for reading fiction (I blame a combination of neurodivergencies). Every now and then, I'll get stuck in a book or a fic, but these days, I mostly experience stories in other forms than prose, with my favorite options being long-form tv (i.e. netflix series and such) and games (both story-oriented ones that tell you the story as you play or have your choices shape the story (like Stray, Tales, DBH), and open-world ones that combine plot quests and environmental storytelling (like Fallout and Witcher 3)).

Although I have a bit of internalized shame about not reading much prose these days ('you can't be a good writer if you don't read', etc.), I also maintain that Writing and Storytelling are two distinct skill sets. And while reading is obviously important to develop the Writing skill, Storytelling can be learned from so many places! If anything, I strongly believe that every writer can benefit from experiencing stories in every medium available to them, be it movie and tv, video and tabletop games, concept albums, etc.. Heck, the core plot of L&F grew out of a Borderlands-inspired D&D campaign, so...

That said, I do have favorite writers: Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman, Chuck Wendig, Andrzej Sapkowski, Becky Chambers. I may be bold enough to claim that all of their influences can be found in my work, be it in writing style or in the way I approach storytelling.

I also would like to credit a writer who went by Rhetor in a fandom that must not be named, whose fic Counting to Five Thousand upended my entire understanding of fanfic some 15 years ago, showing me that fic can be used to tell beautiful and powerful stories. Your mentioning that my work inspired you to take your own writing more seriously reminded me of them. I remember what it's like to be inspired by a writer in a fandom, and I'm honored to have provided some of that for you. 💛

2. Writing process / planning / goals

I normally think of myself as a pantser (or, to use the fancy term 'discovery writer'), but for long works, especially ones published as they're being written, there has to be at least some degree of planning involved. By the time I start writing, I usually know the general shape of the plot, i.e. what are the characters trying to do, how they're going to try and achieve it, whether they will succeed or fail, and some of the stuff that might happen along the way. I should point out, though, that I always let the characters drive the plot, as opposed to wielding my authority to decide 'this should happen next'. Which means that sometimes, when I get to a certain point in the story, things unfold differently from what I'd been expecting.

For the above reason, I've also found it counter-productive to have too-clear plans of future chapters. Almost every time I'd do that, I'd find myself trying to railroad the characters into doing/saying what I had envisaged, instead of what was organic at the time. Almost invariably, the resulting scenes were stilted and disjointed, and I'd have to scrap them and try again.

I think the best analogy for my approach to planning as a writer is planning for a long walk or a road trip. You can map out the route, aim to hit certain waypoints, get a general idea of how long it will take... but you don't know the details of every bit of the journey until you're actually traveling. The only way to really know the road is to travel it - and for me, the only way to know the story is to write it.

That's on the story/chapter scale, anyway. When it comes to individual scenes, it's a bit like scrying into a crystal ball. I get a glimpse of what the scene is going to look like, or a few lines of dialogue, and use those as a hook to pull myself into the scene. And then the same rule as before applies: the details become clear once I'm writing it down or talking through it with my story accomplices. (I always do need to get it out of my head, though. There are people on here who say they can daydream their entire fics: that's not me. I need to get the story out, otherwise I'll just keep circling the initial 'preview' of the scene and not get any further. )

There are, of course, rare and precious times when plotting and pantsing align just so, and I end up with something that feels organic while cleaving to a structure. My favorite example of that is the L&F chapter The Man Who Isn't Jack, in which AI Jack's existential journey follows his journey through different parts of Opportunity while also tentatively mapping to the five stages of grief as he grapples with human Jack's legacy and his own status as AI programmed to act human. Not gonna lie, I'm damn proud of that one.

...Now you see why I needed to set the time aside to answer. Once again, thank you for reading, and for asking, and feel free to ask more, because I could talk about this stuff forever. And last but not least: I wish you the very best of luck with your own writing! 💛

[beardedmrbean]

Now a game im interested in is assassin creed title that will take players to feudal Japan. Here the announcement video they did for the franchise 15th anniversary https://youtu.be/gD_DemeUuy8?si=oFcOY8AW_uHmo4N9

Now leaks revealed we are going to play as two characters, a female Shinobi who in the trailer named Naoi/Noae Fujibayashi, a daughter of a famous ninja. And African samurai who will slowly join the order that Naoi is part of the assassin brotherhood.

As you probably guess the African “Samurai” is very likely to be or based of the famous Oda Nobunaga retainer Yasuke https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yasuke

In the story leaks in reveals that Naoi and Yasuke will start out as fierce rivals/enemies as historically Nobunaga constantly tried to wipe out the ninja clans. But will later become close allies in their desires to unify Japan

Now I did my research on yasuke, he never joined the samurai class and such. I have theory when Japanese were reviewing their samurai ancestors. They made Yasuke a “honorary” samurai but Afro centrists twisted it

Now for the game they changed Yasuke backstory where he was a slave on a slave ship that was attacked and he was the only survivor. And he eventually end up under Nobunaga learning the way of the samurai

Now some people think Yasuke is as just Nobunaga pet…though it stated he was 6’2 and I can’t really believe didn’t trained him in at least the bushido code.

Now in assassin creed settings, human history was influence by mainly two secret orders and their incarnations. The assassin brotherhood (Free Will) and the Templar order (social order)

Now as I theorize about how ac red could use Yasuke, I realize that they could do a story where Yasuke joined the assassins and goes into the shadows and protect and unify japan so they don’t suffer the same hardships as him. Basically an immigrant protecting his new home.

Now it caused a shitshow on twitter when the leaks came out as they thought it was form of Afro centrism after you know the Netflix cleopatra thing. Mainly because the headlines forgot to mention he was one of the two playable characters

Now for me, Yasuke help inspired one of the first seinen anime’s my father introduced me to being Afro Samurai which the titular character was voiced by Samual Jackson.

Now we probably won’t get a proper reveal of the game until April or May as that when the company Ubisoft like to do such a big reveal. But I know he going to very likely be in the announcement trailer. So prepare for the shitshow

Sorry for these long anons, yes people pointed out ac could done a game set in Africa

But I think Yasuke fine, as 1. The Japanese has references him several times and been used as inspiration. 2. Help this feudal era game stand out from the many ones

And of course the Europeans will play important roles in red. Can I please get a historical black project that isn’t “Fuck white people!”?

I’m so starving I’m taking a video game with a huge Illuminati war and I’m leaving out the crazy scifi part

Sorry for ranting these past days. I feel like you’re one of the few tumblr people I can truly talk to

Still remember how incredibly blown away I was when I saw the first videos of the first AC game. I could never play them I knew that way the camera moves gives me vertigo and a splitting headache if I try and play games that do that for more than a couple min, never could play DooM for the same reason whole 3D thing caused actual physical pain.

Still these are beautiful looking games, *personal tangent over*

Not at all sure how accurate the stories about Yasuke are, guy absolutely existed and as thing go this is still a work of fiction so that'll be less important imho.

I'm sure we'll get people saying that if he's not chosen to lead the shogunate it's racist but those people we point and laugh at.

Now it caused a shitshow on twitter when the leaks came out as they thought it was form of Afro centrism after you know the Netflix cleopatra thing. Mainly because the headlines forgot to mention he was one of the two playable characters

Nothing like incomplete information to start a fight, you just reminded me I haven't seen anything about the Hannibal thing they're doing in a while, gets all kinds of free advertisement when the angry mob starts up and the people with the full information start responding. Do they do that on purpose as a form of viral marketing that they don't need to pay for, probably.

I know I've played a few Ubisoft games, can't remember what they were, looked at their list and it's too long so I'm letting it be.

And of course the Europeans will play important roles in red. Can I please get a historical black project that isn’t “Fuck white people!”?

Probably not, maybe they could do something where the British fleet is enforcing their blockade they set up in order to stop the ocean going transport of slaves to the Americas, or maybe French or British army going in and going to war with the various kingdoms and such in Africa that were still trying to keep the slave trade going after they were told to knock it off and stop selling their fellow Africans.

But that probably wouldn't go over too well in certain communities. The discourse would be delicious though.

Sorry for ranting these past days. I feel like you’re one of the few tumblr people I can truly talk to

you're good, it's why I leave anon on even when I'm getting attacked I like to be available for people that need a place to vent or anything really, other than the weak ass threats some of them send, if they could actually do what they say they'd do it instead of whining in my inbox

[ramyeonguksu]

Hillevi is such an interesting character, I remain curious. Do you habe some bullet points on her other relationships within the House of the Black Eagles?

CRIES THANK YOU SO MUCH I'm glad people are interested in learning more about her I HAVE SO MUCH TO SHARE UGH

And yes I do! Not all of them are fleshed out but I have ideas as to where their interactions/support conversations would go!

Long ass post so details under the cut!

For Edelgard, Hillevi finds a bit of herself in her. From a glance, she could tell that there's a lot lurking beneath what Edelgard allows herself to present to others. While she doesn't know what kind of stuff she's hiding and would like to know, Hillevi respects that since she too has baggage that she doesn't like sharing with others. Despite that, she would probably be nosey and subtly try to get more out of Edelgard. I feel like they'd have a nice conversation about their opinions on the church as well. Hillevi agrees with a lot of Edelgard's motivations for the war but if she was recruited to another class/game is Silver Snow she would mention that Edelgard's methods are a bit too extreme.

Obviously I talked about Hubert here, but to summarize it he has some knowledge of Hillevi when she was younger, so to see what kind of person Hillevi was when she arrived at the monastery, which was a huge difference. Because of his experience with Arundel, Tomas, and Monica, he assumed that she was the same, thinking she was another TWSITD pawn that he wasn't made aware about. Hillevi finds him somewhat intimidating at first due to his interrogative approach to her but once after they hit their B support she becomes more openly cocky around him, trying to catch him off guard at times. I also feel like her interacting with Hubert could help Hillevi be a bit more apathetic and care less about what others would think about her.

Of all the Black Eagles students, Ferdinand was the one who "knew her best" prior to the academy. He's interacted with her frequently when they were younger because Baron Vogel took her to Enbarr frequently in order to get her exposed to "high society", especially House Aegir, and try to raise his own status. With their entrance to the academy, Ferdinand gets surprised at Hillevi's sudden coldness towards him, a sharp contrast to their past interactions. The reason behind it, he has to find out. Once she opens up a bit and gets misunderstandings cleared up between them, she awkwardly starts warming up to him. House Aegir and House Vogel both have centuries-long history together, but me going into detail about it would make this too long lmao (but I shared some information here).

Hillevi can't help but have an extremely soft spot for Bernadetta. They both had somewhat similar upbringings, albeit Bernadetta has a Crest and she doesn't, and both share a good amount of anxiety, but Hillevi is acutely aware of how different she is to her. While Hillevi developed a stone wall to hide herself, Bernadetta chooses to literally hide herself. It's two different results of similar upbringing. I think the two of them would find solidarity and grow a friendship from it.

Linhardt notices that Hillevi seems to be extremely tense all the time and he tries to figure out the reasoning behind it, and once doing so he does his best to help her relax a bit more. Hillevi admires his apathy towards things around him and how he just does whatever he feels like and wishes to take a leaf out of his book. She's very jealous of how he straight up doesn't care about how people think about him.

Hillevi likes spending time with Caspar, given how his carefree and boisterous approach to life is something she wants to try imitating. She finds inspiration in his somewhat brutish manner of fighting, believing it to be a testament of one's own strength. He also influences her to be a bit more honest about her own feelings and "not think" too much, but it has led her to some trouble as a result.

Hillevi is somewhat of an appreciator of the arts, and opera is certainly no exception. After watching her perform at Enbarr's Mittelfrank Opera Company, Hillevi developed a bit of a celebrity crush on Dorothea and longed to be able to get to know her. With the academy allowing them to meet, Hillevi gets the chance to get to know Dorothea on a more personal level and finds that she shares a similar disdain for nobles. They both believe that they only cared about them for what they presented outside and never cared enough about who they were inside. This opinion made Hillevi want to get closer to Dorothea as a person rather than just admire her as a songstress from afar. Dorothea would try to get Hillevi to express her femininity a bit more, which makes Hillevi very uncomfortable at first but she grows to accept it a bit more.

Hillevi is very interested in foreign cultures, so once she learned that Petra, a Brigidian, was going to be in her class, she got super excited and wanted to learn about Brigid as much as possible. She does try to be as respectful as possible, considering Petra's situation, but she sometimes accidentally comes off too excited. It's a rarity for her actually; the usually reserved Hillevi gets enthusiastic when it comes to these topics. Honestly though just imagine Hillevi as one of those white girls who's too interested in POC stuff and comes off as overbearing sometimes that's the best way to describe her HJDKSF

I have supports written for Hubert, Ferdinand, Dorothea, and Caspar while some of the other ones are either in progress or still brainstorming!

[moodymakeshifter]

Just played Afterlife Archive, and here's the Case File that came of it~ ;)

Case File # 4

Manner of Death: The tragedy surrounding this spirit is huge, and I don't doubt that it has left an indelible mark on this otherwise breathtaking property. The pond, and garden by extension, is an area of particular interest. Whilma Curtis is the victim of a horrid accident, and, apparently, parental neglect. Though, taking into account Whilma's mother's response to the death of her daughter, I don't believe she bore her daughter any ill will. In fact, I think it's evident that she loved her daughter very much, and was destroyed by Whilma's passing.

Phenomenon: I was in what were once Whilma's playroom and bedroom. A pencil was picked up off a desk only two feet from me and sailed across the vast room to strike the far wall. While I was examining it, a miniature globe toppled off that same desk. The thing's weight was reminicent of a large grapefruit. This spirit has deep energy reserves and, therefore, substantial power. I wasn't hit by any of these objects, but I can't say if that was or wasn't the spirit's intent. Could it be that Whilma is merely playing, oblivious to my presence? Or is she upset by my intrusion?

Severity: Miranda, the psychic I called in, noted a faint presence. I did direct her to the upper rooms I'd experienced phenomenon in during my own investigation. Her mention of the cold meant something to me; when I'd touched the objects affected by the spirit, they'd felt chilly, as though they'd been in a fridge. I, of course, trust Miranda's assessment, but I must come to my own conclusions. Maybe Whilma's spirit has stirred in response to my client's arrival at the estate. It could be that the spirit was long dormant, only a reminder of a past death, but has now reawakened with significant influence over this physical realm.

Entity Type: Based on the evidence I've assembled, I rule this entity a Phantom. But I do not believe it will remain so for long. This spirit has the potential to develop into an Imp, if not a Poltergeist. Whilma was rather young when she passed, which leads me to suspect that she didn't have time to develop a potential for deadly violence. But her spirit has lingered on this plane for almost two centuries. In that span, it could have cultivated some level of understanding as to the accute unfairness of its fate, which might inspire it to lash out at the living whom it envies. Ah, this is a tricky case.

Advice: There are a number of mostly uncertain factors in this case. On the one hand, the spirit hasn't proven dangerous yet, but it's potential for violence can't be overlooked. I suggest that the property be cleansed by a white witch and that the spirit be subdued before it feeds on the energy of the estate's new inhabitants and grows in power. Additionally, I believe it would make sense to drain the pond  which was the site of Whilma's untimely death, and fill it with earth. I think doing this may bring the spirit some satisfaction, or peace. Perhaps the spirit will even vacate the property in response, and move on.

This game can be downloaded Here~

[flamingeaux]

Pokemon SCVI Lengthy Ramble

Pokémon Scarlet and Violet have been released for a while and I wanted to share some rambling thoughts

These are just personal thoughts and stuff, and if I got something wrong, let me know

Also I haven’t seen anyone else mention these, so I might be the only one who feels like this lol

Also haven't managed to get the game yet, but from what I’ve seen through screenshots, clips, and play throughs, it feels so phoned it. Forget about the bugs and glitches, it's Theming is supposed to be based on Spain, but I hardly get that impression at all. 

Maybe I’m the only one feeling that the theming is lacking I haven’t seen anyone else mention it. Now I’m not from Spain, nor have I had the chance to visit, but I love learning about other cultures. Personally I just don’t get the vibe that it’s supposed to be Spain. They did such a good job with the Alola region. The Galar region being based on Britain (also I’m not from there, nor have I visited) but I at least got an English vibe from it. 

But here are a few references I have caught on to- 

The Academy being based on the Sagrada de Familia in Barcelona:

The Academy courtyard also looks inspired by Park Guell (pictured later)

And then the starters: 

Meowscarada likely being based on the "Vijanera Festival," as a Trapaion. I think it’s name is also a play on the word,” Masquerade.” I’ve also seen people compare it to a magician, but personally I don’t see it. Maybe more of a court jester, but I could be not understanding a reference.  

Skeledirge likely being based on the mosaic lizard in Park Güell, in Barcelona. Could also possibly have some Opera influence due to its move, “Torch Song.” Or maybe it’s just in reference to Latin singers and songwriters in general.

Quaquaval likely being based on traditional Spanish dancers and the dances themselves. Those I’m not too familiar with so my best guesses would be Flamenco, Salsa, or Fandango. It’s big tail design also feels very much like a peacock, but that feels strange since the Peafowl bird is native to India. 

I’m most likely missing a lot of name references too

Other Paldean Pokémon:

I love the Smoliv line, I know Olives are a huge part of the food culture

Bramblin- I want to hate this line, but at the same time it’s so comical and genius. Just a possessed tumbleweed

The Maschiff line is based on the Spanish Mastiff which was both a guardian and herding dog 

There’s likely more Pokémon that are based on customs and maybe even folklore, but I couldn’t find it, or I’m just unaware. 

I like that they Included Tauros, since Spain is known for its Matadors (bullfighters), and the summer festival, “Running of the Bulls.”

However, I am aware of the controversies of these cruel practices and I get why Game Freak wouldn’t want to include them. 

If you’re not aware, both of these practices involves the death of the bulls at the end. 

But if they weren’t going to make a kid friendly version of those events, then why include Tauros at all, or even give it a region form. 

Again, maybe I’m not understanding something.

-

For the past few years they’ve been implementing and pushing new food mechanics: Pokepuffs, Pokebeans, Curry, and now the Sandwhiches.

But I don’t understand the Sandwhich aspect at all, why not go for a traditional Spanish dish? But then again I can also see that like with the curry it’s easier to make variations of one food, rather than explore completely different dishes. But if that’s the case, why got go with soups or stews instead??

Considering how sports (Futbol) is just as popular in Spain as it is England, I’m surprised we don’t see too much of that. Yes there’s the gyms and you have the rival Nemona to be your competitor, but it doesn’t feel quite there. 

In Galar of course the pokemon challenge took the role of these sports, and I can see that it would feel repetitive if they did it again. But it feels like they just missed the mark.

-

Other miscellaneous things I feel could have brought some neat inspiration:

Picasso’s birth country is Spain

Spain is the setting of the comedic story of “Don Quixote”

I kinda wish there was more Spanish based music: like the inclusion of guitar or castanets

13 is the unlucky number certain flowers are seen as bad luck too 

Giving a gift is common place when invited to a home for dinner 

This is all I can think of off the top of my head, again I’m not a Spanish Local so I obviously don’t have a professional first hand view on the country history and culture, but I feel like there’s was just so much missing, and more that could be done, and just so much wasted potential.

If any of my notes need correcting don’t be afraid to chime in and let me know, or feel free to give your two cents on anything I mentioned. 

[roseonthewindow]

I am going to anger some of the worst people over this I know it... but Its Aztec inspired not African derived.

I been looking through natlan and I have yet to see any "Dark age" or even renaissance African mosaics in fact most of the architecture is Aztec inspired, the strong boxy angles and even the past archon imagery paired with a winged snake are all Aztec not African in origin. one could make comparisons to ancient Babylonia but still not African or at least not strong enough to be more than a slight mesh of cultures. Please note I use the word inspired for a very good reason Hoyoverse has already said multiple times, Including in countless developer notes, Genhisn's seven nations are fictional and inspired by a mix of cultures. If one were to compare what the individual Natlan tribes resemble it would be as follows. Mualani = strong Hawaiian inspirations; more specifically its big island with the huge hotspring resort which I'm surprised they didn't shove more foreign nation NPC's wandering about to be fair. Kinich = Must you ask his necklace gives him away as one of the many Aztec references in the game. I am glad to see they did opt to pass on the more brutal references thou given the Aztec habits of human sacrifice and all. Even thou his attire is slight modern flare you still see the heavy Aztec influence in the colors and jewelry. Large earrings, elaborate necklace (which would be a sign of status of sorts or should to an extent even what lore we have on him confirms this.) now that one looks at it the Pilgrimage can be considered a human sacrifice of sorts since the people are risking it all to fight the Abyss. Kinich even references that he had to be resurected once before and "death" was not pleasant at all. This dude is definitely going to be a key character in the future Main quests for sure.

Kachina = Oh here it comes the hate bombs Australlia yep British outlaws area... again we see the wardrobes are slightly more modern in this area almost as if the world was modern at one point than devolved into the state its in currently. Here is the thing thou, she's a burrowing marsupial type creature. That's correct NOT EVEN HUMAN! she reminds me more of a wombat mixed with a Galago humanoid. I can't quite put my finger on the creature but this means the only two humans(?) in the group are Kinich and Mualani. All this aside thou Again I will reintegrate that hoyoverse has mentioned multiple times in official channels that Genshin's Seven regions are inspired by a mix of cultures SPESFICALY TO CREATE A FICTIONAL ONE. However if one would have to guess what ancient culture inspired Natlan.... its Aztec no question the architecture the pilgrimage the landscapes the murals the adornments on the characters of high stature. So ya I'm gonna tick you guys off with this but to the whiners; you need to stop with the "they need to be black" bullshit. hoyoverse is the one making the story let them cook. don't sit there and shove you rebaiting race-hustler cards in their face they are just gonna find a excuse to "kill the only black man" just to tell you no. So keep the activism to yourself and let people enjoy the dammed game without your toddler whining!

[lizzygrantarchives]

The Guardian, September 4, 2011

After posting one song online, this 24-year-old American singer sold out a London gig in half an hour

We crave a popstar who is authentic, who thrives because of their talent, not PR. So when you stumble across someone like Lana Del Rey – her popularity apparently born online and growing per YouTube click – it's hard not to be sceptical as to whether she's actually too good to be true. Surely it can't be that after posting just one song online, this brand new artist sold out a London gig in half an hour?

"I just put that song online a few months ago because it was my favourite," the 24-year-old American explains. "To be honest, it wasn't going to be the single but people have really responded to it."

"Video Games" – languorous, sinister and cathartic – nails that awful feeling of being ignored by the person you love. "I get very sad when I play that song," says Del Rey, explaining that the inspiration came from more than one past relationship. "I still cry sometimes when I sing it."

"Video Games" also crystallises Del Rey's overall appeal: a doll-like creature, all dark lashes, huge pout and bouffant hair, staring into the camera and singing about undressing for a man who treats her like crap. But somewhere under the vulnerability there is a look in Del Rey's eye that suggests whatever happens to her from now on isn't half as bad as what's happened to her before. Both the song and the hit YouTube video are chilling.

Lana Del Rey – also known as Lizzy Grant –was raised in Lake Placid, a town in New York state close to the Canadian border, which she describes enigmatically as "the coldest place on earth" and which sounds like somewhere David Lynch, who she cites as an influence, would set a TV series.

She is politely reticent about her childhood, mentioning two younger siblings and parents who are "fine" with her being a professional musician. A self-taught guitarist, Del Rey says that hip-hop was her first musical love, specifically Biggie Smalls and Eminem. Later, when she moved to New York to study metaphysics at college – she specialised in "working out whether we could mathematically prove God's existence" – she discovered Bob Dylan and Leonard Cohen. After striking up a friendship with the Spanish Harlem-based rapper Princess Superstar and moving to a trailer in New Jersey, Del Rey developed a love of Nirvana, an enthusiasm she still has today.

But her loner status seems to have been shaped at 15, when she went to boarding school. "As a teenager, to be in a place you can't leave is dangerous because if people don't like you, you can't get away from them. Then you might start to think that's the way the world is [always] going to be."

Del Rey reveals herself to be articulate, smart and insightful. But "likes" pepper her sentences; she describes melodies as "super pretty" and her eyes flit girlishly downwards when she talks. She seems to be playing up her youth and describes herself as "Lolita got lost in the hood". Her music does have an innate childlike melancholy to it. But in person the popstar she is most reminiscent of is Lily Allen.

She has been in the music business for a while and previously made an entire album with mega-producer David Kahne, shelved for reasons unclear. Del Rey found success when she started writing her own pop songs, though when asked if she writes alone her voice goes hard and she says: "If there's a man in the room when you write he gets 50%." It's a nearly true indictment of the frosty world of music royalties, but also an indication of her steeliness.

Lana Del Rey isn't exactly garrulous, but always says just enough; though our interview is long and uninterrupted, she raises far more questions than she actually answers. She leaves the impression of someone both shrewd and vulnerable, which combined with the quality of her songs, is not only an intriguing concoction, but feels like the embodiment of genuine star quality.

Originally published on theguardian.com with the headline One to watch: Lana Del Rey.

[imonthinice]

The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 20/?

Word Count: 2.2k

Author’s Note: Y/N - your name

***IMPORTANT*** The Criminal Psychology majors will be taking a temporary hiatus as I’m getting my second dose of the vaccine today<3 I don’t know when I’ll be coming back because I don’t want to burn myself out on this series just to give content while I’m gone, yknow

Warnings: Swearing, Forgetfulness, No beta bitch we die like Jason Todd

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)

They danced and sung the night away at the Gala. It ended at around 2:00am and everyone went back to the Wayne Manor. 

Somehow it came out that they should play Uno of all things. Uno is known for being the “Friendship Ruiner” or the “Relationship Ruiner” of the world. So, of course, they played it. Why wouldn't they?

Y/N dealt the cards. She was not quick about it. At all. She really struggled to deal the cards to the entire group, but she still tried. It was the thought that counted. Or at least she thought it did.

But no one seemed to mind she was a little slower with her cards-dealing. Which was different to the up-beat, face-paced life all of them lead. One would have expected that they would want a crazy fast dealer, but no one cared.

They played well into the night, with Jason ending up tapping-out and laying in Y/N’s lap. She played with his hair and leaned down to show him the good cards she got, at least until he fell asleep. She spent the time bonding with his family. 

They had always liked her. From the first time they all met her, they knew she was going to be something real. They were even impressed that Jason and her hadn’t fought yet. They were both hot-headed when they wanted to be, so when it was obvious that they put the relationship ahead of their own prides, it was something else.

They knew of the first time they had one of these moments. Y/N was at a dance competition, but Jason had to dip because of “Family Issues”, she was upset. Of course, she wanted him there and it looked like they were going to get into a huge spat about it. But, when she won that competition, she got up there and she said,

“This one is for my family, my friends, the extension of my family,” she paused, “And my boyfriend, Jason.” She smiled, “He isn’t here right now because of family issues, but he told me to follow my dreams, and here I am,” she said while raising her medal slightly, “This one was for you, baby.”

And that’s when his family knew that pride was stupid to them. Relationships are growing, changing together. And while they both stayed hot-headed, they changed that slight detail in themselves to be better partners. It was admirable.

Y/N ended up winning the last game. Half of the Waynes were sleeping, either at the coffee table where they were playing or in their rooms. She glanced over to the clock, 6:00am. She knew her parents were getting up soon, so she texted her mom,

Hey mum! So do you still want Jay and I to come over for the barbeque? 

And she nudged him a little. Everyone else had left the room, so she was trying to wake him up. So they could go to his room. He groaned.

“Baby, do you want to sleep in your bed?” she whisper-asked him, leaning down to his ear and stroking his hair. He groaned and got up, started walking to his room. She followed suit. He was on his bed and passed out before she even got up there.

She laughed and walked over to him, fumbling with his suit jacket. He mumbled something about taking him on a date first, and she laughed again.

“C’mon, work with me here, you’re going to be uncomfortable if you sleep in your suit, my love.”

He groaned and took off his jacket before unbuttoning his shirt, while she got his belt undone.

“God, take me on a date first,” he mumbled.

“Shh,” she said, placing a finger over his lips, “Just go to bed, Jay.”

He sloppily kissed her neck before she cupped his face and used her position to straddle him to the bed. She kissed his forehead before getting off of him and going through his clothes. She needed something, a shirt, pants, anything she could wear.

She fumbled with getting her own dress and gloves off, ending up throwing the dress over his desk chair, hoping it would minimize wrinkling. She undid her corset and threw it on his desk. Her heels were sitting at his desk chair. The gloves on his desk.

She crawled into bed with him, being the big spoon, burying her face behind his neck. She pulled out her phone to look at her texts. One from Artemis,

Hey, dude. That dress, oh my God?

She laughed into Jason’s shoulder and sent back,  I know. I know. I know. I killed it. You can’t say I didn’t.

You’re literally so right because again, oh my God. You did NOT need to wipe the floor with the rest of the guests. I mean, Selina was there and you were on her level.

That’s impressive. Selina is stunning. But I’d argue I was just below every Wayne lady.

Well, eventually you’ll be a Wayne lady.

C’mon. It’s been 6 months. 

You say that like the thought hasn’t crossed your mind at least once.

Yeah, but I don’t talk to anyone about it. 

You should start talking about it. Most people think about their weddings.

Okay, anyway. Why are you up so early?

I was studying most of the night with Wally.

Ah, “Studying”. Nice.

I wish! No, we were actually studying. Not like you and Jay at your little Gala. Actually had to study.

I have to study too, but exams are like next week.

Wish I could relate. Mine are today. 

And you didn’t sleep? Dude.

Shh, you’re not my mom.

She laughed and fell asleep cuddling Jason. Her phone was opened, so it died. 

----------------------------------

Jason woke up first. Looking at the time, it was 12:00pm. Y/N was sleeping behind him, still loosely holding him. He smiled. He hoped that the night before had fixed some of the issues between them. Well, he hoped there was no issues.

He didn’t want work to be more stressful than it already was. But, they were having issues. He thought it was because of finals, but he feared there was more to it. Maybe it was the fact that he’s famous. Maybe it was the fact that she couldn’t handle the fame. He hoped it wasn’t anything to do with the fame.

But the comment about the people with daggers at her throat obviously wasn't about anyone else. It was the press. He knew she had issues with the press. He always would. She always would.  He wouldn’t blame her if she walked away from him because of the press. Break up or a break, she was allowed to give up because of the press. He hoped she didn’t. He hoped she never would. He didn’t want to jinx them, but he really, really, hoped that this wouldn’t end in flames.

He looked at her. He remembered the first moment he knew he loved her. They were having dinner at this hole-in-the-wall restaurant that he had seen on patrol one night. She was scarfing down the food, and he wiped away the mess on her face with his thumb. He knew then. He knew in that moment that that was it. She was it. 

He was whipped and he knew it. But every time his siblings or dad brought it up, he mentioned current or past relationships they had. The only people who weren’t whipped in the Wayne household were the women.

Or maybe the all were, they were just good at hiding it. He turned around and cuddled her back He stroked her hair. He ran his fingers through her hair. 

She did it to him a lot. Physical affection was something that he was used to at this point. He still didn’t know how to feel about it, but he had ended up letting Dick hug him more often. He didn’t say it was because of her, because she didn’t outright run up to him expecting hugs, she was okay with hand holding and small touches of affection. It wasn’t because of her that he started letting people in.

But he did think she was a turning point for him. For his affection. His love style. She gave a damn about him and made it clear. It wasn’t like love he was used to, but it also opened his mind to people trying to love him.

She shifted around a bit. She ended up turning her back to Jason so he became the big spoon, and he buried his face in her hair. She groaned and tugged at the blanket on his bed, pulling it onto the two of them. He helped her get it on them. She groaned again.

“You up?” he whispered.

“No... I’m in deep sleep,” she said with a slur to her speech.

“My mistake, really.”

“It is.”

He pulled her closer, “Can you wake up?”

“No.”

“That’s sad. I wanted to talk.”

“You can talk.”

“Okay so,” he said, “I realised something. Some people would say you’re changing me, that I’m becoming someone else because of you,” he paused, “I’d have to disagree. You’re not doing anything.”

“Uh huh.”

“You’re just inspiring me to do better. You influence me. You don’t intentionally go in and change me, I change because I love you.”

“That’s nice honey.”

“You could pretend you’re interested in what I have to say, my love.”

“I’m tired, Jay.”

“I danced you to Hell, I guess.”

She groaned, “I guess I can’t go back to bed, now,” she flexed her wrist, “You’ve interrupted my sleep.”

He cuddled in closer to her, “I am not sorry.”

“Of course you’re not, why would you be?” she said while she turned to face him, “You just want to see me.”

“Damn, you got me.”

She yawned, “We need to study eventually.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“I just did.”

“School’s annoying. It’s on every last never but also none of them. It’s stressful but I also met you from it. It’s something I excel at but also causes me pain.”

“I know, babe. I know,” she said as she searched for her phone, finding it, dead and under her leg. “Fuck, killed my phone.”

“Where did you even have that all night?”

“Dress has pockets. But I didn’t bring my charger,” she sighed. “I had texted my mum too.”

“Texted your mom about what?”

“She wants us to go to a family barbeque after exams.”

“That’s so suburban of your family.”

“Yet they live in a massive city. I guess you'll see my family? you like them, don't you?” she asked. 

He had met her family in January of that year. He got along with her mom and dad, in spite of the language barrier between him and her dad. There was difficulty understanding each other, but they got along in their love for rock music. It warmed Y/N’s heart.

Her mom liked him just because he made her happy. They didn’t really need to get along, but they did. They both cooked, and her mom had dragged him into helping her when Y/N was watching figure skating with her dad. Apparently they hit it off.

“I have literally no idea,” he said.

“How do you not know?”

“Your sister has something off about her.”

“You know, that’s fair. I don’t blame you for that one.”

“Yeah, have you noticed she’s very... obsessed with vigilantes?”

“And you thought I was obsessed,” she joked, “Yeah, she takes it a little too far. The whole, “I want to marry a vigilante to infiltrate and kill them” thing was obviously a joke, but I feel like there was some truth to it. That scares me.”

“Thank God I’m not the only one.”

“If you don’t like her, don’t worry about it. i don’t care if you like her.  We’ve had  a difficult relationship all or lives. If you can be civil, it’s a win.”

“Did you have an ex openly hate your sister?”

“Yep. And he’s an ex for a reason.”

“That’s fair. I would hate it if someone openly hated one of my siblings.”

“Unless it’s Dami.”

“Unless it’s Dami, that’s very true.”

“Still don’t know what you have against that kid, he’s very sweet.”

“That’s what he wants you to think.”

“Well, then its working.”

“What a master manipulator,” he laughed. “It’s the principle of the matter, Y/N.”

“It’s the principle of the matter, Y/N,” she mocked.

“Okay listen,” he laughed, “It is. He’s a menace.”

“But you love him.”

“It’s unfortunate. He's my brother, but he is also whatever. I don’t know. He’s amazing, he’s a genius, but who knows. Maybe one day we won’t fight all the time.”

“Imaging hoping you don’t fight with your sibling.”

“Family issues, amirite?”

She groaned and got over him, “Where are you going?” he asked.

“Fuck, I don’t know. Just need to get up, to be fair.”

“Coffee?”

“Eh, probably not.”

“That’s new.”

“You betcha. I don’t feel the affects of caffeine withdrawal yet.” She looked at her dress, it was wrinkled. Which was whatever. She knew it was going to happen. She went searching for all her stuff and put it on his desk. It was spread all out over his room, she didn’t know how it happened.

“How did your shit end up everywhere?” he asked.

“Probably the same way that all your shit ended up everywhere? I have no idea.”

“What, did we fuck?”

“No!” she laughed, “Do you not remember?”

“Days are blurring together, so.”

“Well that’s not... normal?”

[imagines-r-s]

sticking it

chapter 9 

a/n: idk why this chapter took so long, but here it is. for reference - in gymnastics, US Championships are the last meet before Olympic Trials, they’re a two day competition. any feedback is welcome. i’m kinda upset that this series (or at least this part) is almost done, but there is more to come with this series i promise. also had to repost bc it wasn’t showing up in the tags 

taglist: @butgilinsky @barbienoturbby @sunsetholland @lovenhlboys @sortagaysortahigh @hockey-racing-fubol @oopsiedoopsie23 @iwantahockeyhimbo @dreamsndior @itsurgirlgracie @heartshapedkissxs @lwstuff @handwrittenheroes

warnings: uh, i don’t think there’s anything, but if i miss something just let me know (the jamie mentioned is jamie oleksiak, not j b*nn)

sticking it masterlist

wc: 5.8

(not my gif)

“Are you sure that you have everything?” Joel asked for the twentieth time in the past hour, “we can run back to yours if you need anything else”

“I feel like you’re just trying to get me to stay with you longer,” you said, skeptically.

“Is it working?”

“No, Bee, I have to leave at some point,”  you said, putting another bag of yours in his car,”I won’t be gone long.”

“Yeah, but you’ll be closer to the Stars and that has me worried,” he said, causing you to chuckle. 

“You worried about Seggy? Or Roope? Or Big Rig? Or Mi-”

“Okay, I get it.”

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about it, I love you and only you, shawty. Besides, I can only tolerate Texas weather for so long,” you said, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek.

“I love you, too, shawty,” he paused,”Wait,- that was rude.”

After packing the last of your bags into the car, you made your way to the airport to meet Marcus and Michelle. Once you arrived at the airport, Joel parked the car before the two of you headed into the airport. The four of you caught up for a while before Marcus suggested giving you and Joel time to say goodbye. 

“Is this how it feels when me and the guys leave for the road?” Joel asked, softly. 

“Yeah,” you said, smiling sadly. 

“Well, good thing I’m the one on the road all the time, I mean, I don’t like leaving you, but when I’m leaving it’s a different feeling, you know.”

“Well glad it makes you happy, buddy.”

“Did you just buddy me?” Joel asked, incredulously. 

“Did I?” you asked, laughing as Joel gasped in shock.

“Wow, I see how it is. I’ll remember that.”

“Go ahead, babe. Remember it however you want,” you paused when you saw the sad look on his face, reaching to hold his face in your hands, “hey, I’m only a text away, I might not be right here, but I will answer as soon as I can and we’ll facetime as much as you want these next few days.”

Joel nodded before looking up and seeing Marcus and Michelle headed your way, “we hate to cut this short, but we have to get going pretty soon.”

“I know I asked, but do you really have to go?”

“Yeah, Bee, I really have to go.”

“You better kick ass out there or else you’re just leaving for nothing,” he said, jokingly, “but honestly, I wish you the best of luck - I know you don’t need it, but I’ll say it anyway. Make sure to tell Nicole I said good luck and please make sure to wipe that smug look off Kathryn's face. Okay?”

“Yeah, of course,” you said, wrapping your arms around him as he pressed kiss to the top of your head. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you, too, but if you don’t go, the only thing you’ll be missing is your flight.”

“Wow, Bee, you are so funny.” 

“Well, one of us has to be the funny one in the relationship. Your mom jokes only get you so far far in life, babe,” he said, causing you to elbow him in the stomach. 

“I’m leaving now. I love you and I will text you when I land,” you leaned up for a quick goodbye kiss before grabbing your carry-on bag and heading to your gate. You avoided looking back, knowing that if you did, both of you wouldn’t let the other leave. 

“I think you chose a good one,” Marcus said once the three of you had sat down. 

“What?” you asked, shocked. 

“Joel. He seems like a good guy. He clearly cares about you and I can see that you care a lot about him, too. He clearly makes you happy,” Marcus added. 

Heat rushed up your face, to which you simply looked out the window, “yeah, he’s a good guy.”

“A cute one, too,” Michelle interrupted. 

“Yes, that too. But Michelle, you better lay off,” the three of you laughed as the flight attendants started to announce the safety procedures for your flight. The three of you did your own thing the rest of the flight: Marcus planning out how podium training would go, Michelle analyzing your routines, and you sleeping.

“Alright, so as soon as we land, we get luggage and go to our hotel. There is a small media event tomorrow morning before podium training, then podium training, then probably some more media. You will have the rest of the night to do whatever, I know you’ll probably go see your Dallas friends and that’s fine, just make it back in time. Then, Friday is the first day of competition, Saturday is the second day, then we have some free time Sunday,” Marcus read off to you, even with you half asleep. 

“Sounds lovely,” you grumbled. 

…..

“So, y/n, with your injury being a top priority, how different have practices been since you are still somewhat in recovery?” one of the journalists asked. You had stayed prepared for a multitude of questions having to do with your injury, so this question had an easy response.

“I would say, it’s definitely a totally new experience. I’ve had to tailor my focus to other aspects of this sport since the start of my recovery, whether that be drills, more conditioning, or changing up my routines. My team and I definitely have figured out what things work and what doesn’t and we continue to learn as I continue training,” you answered, swiftly. 

“Now obviously, you were the highest scorer in most of your competitions, even before your injury, how has competition changed for you? And what has inspired you to train harder?” another journalist asked. 

“I have to say, competition is slightly more nerve-wracking than before. I mean getting injured at a major competition definitely changes perspective for all aspects of it. I feel that I have to be more cautious when performing, whereas before I would just go with the motions. Something that’s inspired me has been that my competitors have continued training, I have a fair amount of competition - all of which are excellent athletes - which has helped motivate me a lot, but I also have an amazing support system back home who have made sure to give me that extra motivation when I need it,” you smiled. 

“Now, having to deal with that support system at home, who and how have they influenced your decisions of your journey through recovery?” which was the first question that made you smile. 

“Well first, a huge shoutout to my family, especially my cousin, Kevin. Without his support, I wouldn’t have ever tried to get back in the gym, he’s been there this whole time and I couldn’t be more grateful. Um, my coaches were so supportive of my comeback; my physical trainor, Adrian, who told me all the doctors were wrong and gave me the reality checks I needed; the whole Philadelphia Flyers roster and their families cheered me on the whole time, especially my boyfriend, Joel Farabee. My friends, my teammates, all of them pushed me where I needed to be,” you said, gratefully. 

“Thank you for your time, y/n. We wish you the best of luck this weekend,” the main announcer said to you before you went off to podium training. 

Marcus and Michelle had both told you only to warm up simplified versions of your routine, so that you could bring shock factor when you were actually performing. You had upgraded almost all of your tumbling back to where it was before injury, but no one needed to know that besides you and those in your gym. Podium training had gone very well, better than you had anticipated, so you were looking forward to how championships would go. 

As you packed up your gym bag and grabbed your phone, you saw all the messages you had from the Flyers group chat you had somehow found your way to. 

Bee: did you guys see that too?

Tiki Bar: if we are talking about the same thing, i think we did.

Patti Lapone: did she actually say nice things about us?

Kev: i really think the texas heat is getting to her already

G: she’s probably just feeling under the weather about competition, otherwise we might want to check if she is okay

Scotty: i think i misheard or i got hit in the head and didn’t realize it

Frosty: hell has frozen over

Bee: haha. frost. frozen. get it

Tiki Bar: beezer. 

G: i’ll make you do laps if you make another frost joke

Laughing at the texts in the group chat in reaction to your interview, you simply typed up a simple response: this is what i get when i’m nice, now you know why i’m not like this all the time. 

Luckily for you, you didn’t have to do any media after podium training, so you were able to leave whenever you wanted to. After checking with Marcus and Michelle, you made sure it was alright that you went off to go see Tyler and the rest of the guys. Assuming that they would be at practice, after changing out of your leo, you took the drive to the Stars practice facility.

Having come to Fort Worth so much for gymnastics and Dallas for a few hockey games, you had run into some of the Stars roster on multiple occasions. By the third time you had ran into them, and this time ran into was a very literal statement, you had exchanged social medias and most of the roster kept an eye out for any updates in your gymnastics career. During your recovery, the whole team constantly asked for updates about how you were and how gymnastics was going. 

Once you parked, you quietly made your way inside - not wanting to interrupt the practice. There were a few officials walking around, but most either paid you no mind or recognized you from times before you had been here. Walking towards the rink, your eyes settled on the boys doing laps for the last part of practice. It wasn’t until most of the guys were only talking and about to get off the ice that they noticed you. 

Tyler was the first to notice you, smiling and waving towards you, which caused most of the team to follow where he was looking and notice you. As the team headed to the locker room to change, you simply waited on one of the benches for them.

“I feel like you only came all this way to see my dogs,” Tyler said, making his way towards you. 

“No, I would never do such a thing, I obviously came here to say hi to you,” you stood up to give him a hug. 

“Mhm, whatever you say. Didn’t you have podium training today? How’d it go?”

“Well, it went pretty well actually. I did a few of my dismounts, but kept most of my landings safe just to be careful. But other than that everything went well.”

“As long as you kick ass tomorrow, I’m fine,” he said, honestly, “do you have anything else to do for the rest of the day or did you just come to say hi?”

“Well, I have no plans for the rest of the day, but I don’t want to intrude on any team plans.”

“You know you would never be intruding on anything with us, even if you are dating a Flyer,” Jamie O said from behind you. 

“God, Jamie, what the fuck? Where’d you come from?”

“Your mom’s house,” he said, earning a fist bump from Tyler. 

“I can’t even be upset, that was a good one,” you smiled as Jamie hugged you,”and don’t bring Joel into this.”

“My condolences.”

“Condolences? No one died?” you questioned.

“You are dating someone that plays for the Flyers,” Tyler said. 

“Damn, that’s harsh,” you replied. 

“Anyways, moving on. Me and a few other guys were coming over to mine for lunch and to hangout, if you want to come you are welcome to,” Tyler said to which you simply nodded. 

“Is that who I think it is?” another familiar voice rang out, causing you to whip your head around to see Roope and Jake heading your way. 

“Well, if you thought it was me, then you would be correct, my friend,” you retaliated. 

“I’m surprised they let you in here, considering you are dating a Flyer,” Otter said, jokingly. 

“Quit bringing the fact that I’m dating Bee into the conversation.”

“At least Nicole is in the safe zone,” Roope said, causing your eyes to widen, “y/n. What was that?”

“What was what?” you questioned as Roope simply narrowed his eyes.

“You did the thing.”

“What are you talking about, bestie?” 

“Oh, you have a habit of your face changing when you know something that will ruin the whole perspective or something or if you know a secret that will change the entire story. Very entertaining and concerning that you didn’t know,” Tyler added. 

“Um, well, didn’t expect to be psychoanalyzed by a bunch of hockey players today, but here we are.”

“Ok, I think we should head to mine and then, we can continue psychoanalyzing you,” Tyler suggested to which you all agreed. Roope, who had gotten a ride from Tyler in the morning, immediately hopped into your car as soon as you unlocked it. 

“What’s up with Nicole?” he asked as soon as you started driving. 

“What happened to hello? How are you?” you joked. 

“Listen, I’m asking now because I don’t want to talk about this with the guys there. But what did you mean?” he said, causing you to take a deep breath. It wasn’t like Roope and Nicole were ever together, but it was always an unspoken fling of sorts, that they never made official. 

“Look,-”

“Please, just tell me what’s happening,” he pleaded.

“Nicole and Nolan are sort of together,” you rushed out, causing a moment of silence to break out. You didn’t know what to expect as a reaction, considering they weren’t official and hadn’t really talked since the last time you and her were in Texas.

“Is she happy?” 

“Yeah, she’s happy.”

“Okay, that’s all I care about,” he said simply, which made your heart almost break for one of your closest friends. 

…..

Being able to spend time with some of your close friends that you hadn’t seen in a while was just what you needed to destress about championships. Maybe an intense game of uno with five of the most competitive people was exactly what some might call a destressor, but here you were. 

Tyler threw down his cards as he stood up dramatically, “no, because there is no way that a.) she already has an uno and that b.) all of you used your draw two cards against me.”

“Don’t be upset, Ty, that’s just how the game of uno is sometimes,” you replied, hiding a laugh. 

“Oh, shut up. I think you guys cheated,” Tyler accused. 

“I think you just don’t know how to play uno,” Jamie mumbled.

“Oh, yeah, real funny. I think you all teamed up against me and Jake dealt that way on purpose.”

“And we all think, you just can’t accept a loss in uno,” Roope added. 

“Fine, let’s settle this like men,” Tyler grabbed all the cards, attempting to shuffle them before accepting he couldn’t shuffle and handing them over to you to shuffle, “I’m watching you.”

“Oh, wow, so scared,” quickly shuffling them, doing a little bit more than usual to get Tyler off your case, you handed them back to him, “there you go.”

Another final round of uno, which ended up with you and Roope head to head as far as who would win, while Tyler had ended up with at least 15 cards to which Jamie was the first to speak up, “I think we should end here before someone gets hurt.”

“No, no, we’re fine. It’s fine. y/n, take your turn,” he said, eyes narrowing as he watched from beside you. Even if it was your last card, you dropped the draw 4, which made Tyler draw more cards. 

“Damn, that sucks,” you said, hiding a laugh. 

“What was that, y/n?” Tyler said.

“I said, damn, that sucks,” you repeated, watching Tyler closely as he stood up quickly once again, before practically chasing you. “Tyler, it’s just uno. Stop chasing me.”

“Oh, wow, ‘damn, that sucks’” Tyler mocked. 

As the other three watched, Jamie just grabbed the bowl of popcorn as they watched their friends running around chasing each other. “I see why we don’t play uno much,” Jake said. 

“Yep. Exactly. But no one listened when I advised against it,” Jamie said, taking a drink of his beer. 

“Tyler, watch yourself,” you said, as he stood on the opposite side of the couch. He started running one way, as you ran the other to avoid him, but he quickly sidestepped and caught up to you. Practically throwing you over his shoulder, he made his way out to the pool, “Tyler, let’s not do anything crazy here.”

“Oh, you mean like hold a draw four card until the end of the game,” Tyler said, as he tossed you into the deep end of his pool. 

“Children. Literal children,” Roope said, shaking his head, going to grab you a towel. 

Rising up from the water and quickly moving the hair out of your face, you swam over to where Tyler was, “hey, can you help me out?”

“Nah, I’m not falling for that one,” he stated. 

“Seriously, I won’t do anything right now, I promise,” you said, as you saw him reach his arm out to which you quickly grabbed and stood out of the pool. Walking towards Roope, who had grabbed you a towel, you turned back around to see Tyler still walking near the pool. Using this to your advantage, you ran and pushed Tyler into the pool. “Sorry, bestie,” you said, running to get the towel from Roope and running back in the house. 

After getting changed into one of Tyler’s extra shirts he had lying around, you were just hanging out with the guys when a familiar contact flashed on the screen to FaceTime, Jake who was right next to you immediately noticed, “ooh, better go talk to your man, y/n.”

“Shut the literal fuck up,” you called back, standing up to go the kitchen for privacy. Answering, you noticed that Joel was at Nolan and Kevin’s apartment, “were you that lonely without me, babe?”

“No, well maybe, but I’m helping them set up for the watch party tomorrow,” Joel said, taking a seat at their kitchen island, “how’d podium training go?”

“It went really well actually, I didn’t work the 3.5 just so that way I have something over their heads, you know. But other than that, it was all good. How are things at home?”

“Well, I mean no one is dead, which is always good. Um, debated getting a dog, my mom called, I told her about you. Uh, already told you about the watch party. I don’t think anything else interesting happened,” he said, shrugging as if he hadn’t just mentioned bringing you up to his mom. 

“Wait, you told your mom about me?”

“Well, she does follow me on Instagram, so after seeing the post she texted me asking and then she asked while we were on the phone. She wished you good luck, by the way. She’s  also visiting here with my dad in a few weeks and I’d really love it if you would meet them,” he said, shyly.

“Uh, yeah, yeah, of course,” you rushed out, hoping you didn’t sound as nervous as you were. 

“That sounded very unsure.”

“No, it’s fine. I just have never been at the spot in a relationship where I meet the parents, I’m just nervous. I don’t want to mess it up.”

“Babe, my mom already loves you, she was getting on my case about not telling her, but she already thinks very highly of you and I definitely hyped you up a little bit. You have nothing to worry about,” he reassured you, which made you smile. 

“Hey, y/n/n,” Kevin yelled. 

“Hey, Kev.”

“You were very nice in your interview today, it had all of us worried,” Kevin said, which caused you to roll your eyes in response. 

“Hey, I can be nice sometimes.”

“On very rare occasions, yes,” Joel added. 

“Whatever.” As you talked a little while longer with the guys, eventually Roope and Tyler had come in to say hi to everyone as well, which had you dying laughing as both of them gave the ‘you hurt her, we fly to Philly and hurt you’ talk that almost everyone had given him. 

Telling Joel you would call him back whenever you made it back to your hotel, you stayed with the guys for another couple of hours before heading back to your hotel. Nicole had spent most of the day after podium training resting and had met you in the hotel lobby when you got back.  

“So,- “ she didn’t even have to finish her sentence before you knew what she was saying. 

“Roope is doing good, he said he hopes things are going well,” you said, watching as a small smile crept up her face. 

“Well, good to know. Did you know KD is also staying at this hotel?”

“Well, considering this is the host hotel and most competitors are here, I am not all that shocked.”

“Yeah, but you probably didn’t know she’s legit a few rooms away from us, did ya?”

“No, guess not,” you said, “how’d you find that one out?”

“Well, let me set the scene for you. I go to get ice and then I hear her talking with, uh, whatever her name is, Callie or Carly, it starts with a C. Anyways, they were talking about you and me and how our skills have been less than recently and all this stuff about you not catching up to where you were - which I found so fucking funny because who has won gold at the past few meets? Not her. Anyways, all is fair in the sport of gymnastics, but I’m just excited to see her reaction to you doing the 3.5.”

“Damn, no pressure there, Nic.”

“Okay, but the thing is, you have the skill,” Nicole said, as you got into the elevator. “You have it down. It’s all up here, in your cranium,” she said, pointing to your head. 

“Alright, let’s just go to bed now,” you said, slowly removing her hand and opening the door to your hotel room. 

…..

“Hello everyone and welcome to Day One of the 2021 US Gymnastics Championships. We are very excited to see how today’s competition goes as this competition will decide who makes it onto the National Team and who will qualify for Olympic Trials,” Joel heard the announcer say as he made his way to sit with everyone in the living room. 

“Did you talk to her this morning?” Claude asked from beside him. 

“Yeah, usual pre-comp anxieties. Nolan talked to her and Nicole to give the usual pep talk and then we talked for a while on their way to the arena,” Joel answered, looking back to the TV to see you prepping for bars, “she said podium training went well, but Kathryn was talking shit, so all I know is she better kick her ass.”

“You know she will, it happens everytime. She gets in her head and still does amazing, just a casual Tuesday,” Scott added. 

“It’s not Tuesday?” Travis questioned.

“Yes, I know,” Scott said, confusing everyone. 

“Alright, moving on,” Joel reiterated. 

“And starting on bars, we have y/n y/l/n. Now if you remember, less than a year ago, y/n was injured at another competition doing a beam dismount that she might be competing in today’s competition. She is definitely one to watch as she has a reputation of scoring high in these meets, before and after her return. Her teammate, Nicole Carter, will be following up.”

Joel watched as you stepped away from the chalk box to start your routine, he watched intently as you jumped from the springboard to reach the high bar. He watched intently as you went through your routine. Release skills. Giants. Pirouettes. More release skills. More giants. Dismount. Stuck landing. 

“A great start to Day 1 for y/n, who seems pretty proud of how that routine went,” the announcer said, “rotation two will be beam, where we might see that 3.5 twist, which is currently in the process of being named by Kathryn Davis, who was the first to compete it at a major competition. Now the question everyone is wondering is will we see this skill from y/n today?”

“She’s doing it. Fucking dumbass,” Joel grumbled at the announcer. 

“Damn, Beezer, tell them how you really feel,” Travis replied, as everyone else laughed at Joel’s behavior before watching Nicole compete. Nicole’s routine ended with a stuck landing, the camera following her as she made her way off the platform and hugged you before the two of you did your secret handshake.

Knowing the next event was beam, Joel waited as other competitors did their routines as you were warming up. He knew this moment would make or break how the rest of the meet went and with this only being your second event, it needed to go well. 

Everyone watched anxiously as you saluted the judges, shaking your hands out before you reached to mount the beam. You took a deep breath before actually starting your routine. Starting the beginning choreography, you kept your movements sharp and clean. All the skills in your routine were sharp - doing this so if the dismount didn’t go well, it hopefully wouldn’t affect your score too much. 

Joel had memorized your routines, knowing you were approaching your dismount, he saw your movements become slightly hesitant. Watching as you did a quick pivot on the beam to prep for the dismount, he watched you take a deep breath. 

“C’mon, babe. You got it,” he said, and by whatever power was listening he watched your lips twitch up to a smile as you started your dismount. Going for the round-off and starting the twists, you did the three and a half twists, opening up to find your landing, and stuck your dismount. Joel’s smile grew even more when he saw how happy you were with your routine.

The rest of Day 1 of Championships went well for both you and Nicole; the two of you ending in the first and place spot in all around, with Kathryn following close behind. After the competition, both of you had your media conferences before you made your way back to the hotel. As both of you checked your phone, you saw the multiple notifications from various social medias.

“Dude, did you see what Ryanne posted?” Nicole asked, a look on her face that you couldn’t easily recognize. 

“No, hold on,” you opened Instagram to see she had tagged you in multiple posts on her instagram story: starting off with a picture of all the guys wearing a jersey with your and Nicole’s name on it, a picture of all the guys watching warms ups intently, a video of Joel and Travis debating the name of a skill from Nicole’s routine (Travis was right), a video of Joel watching you do your beam routine and cheering you on right as you go for your dismount, and then a video of everyone cheering as you and Nicole as they announced the end of day 1.

…..

After falling asleep with Joel on FaceTime, you woke up to your 6am alarm to get ready for Day 2 of championship, Joel - who had told you he would wake up with you - was still sound asleep. Getting you and Nicole an apple from the lobby, you talked to a few of your competitors and a few fans before heading back to yours and Nicole’s room. 

“Wake up, bitch, it’s Day 2 of Championships,” you said, jumping to lay next to Nicole on her bed.

“Leave me to die here, I don’t want to go. USAG can suck a homeless man’s dick,” she mumbled into the pillow. 

“That’s truly something, wait til the media teams hear about that one,” you joked, only to get a glare sent your way. 

“You know what? You can suck on one, too,” she responded, pulling the blanket over her head. 

“Well at least, there's less competition,” to which she quickly peaked out of the blanket.

“Oh, you wish. We’re neck and neck this time, so we’ll see who gets bragging rights.”

“Well if you don’t get out of bed, then we’ll never know,” you said, to which she only sent a glare your way. 

“Do we really have to get up and compete today? Do you think we could petition to reschedule?”

“I mean, I’m sure if we talked to people, we’d get a lot of signatures, but I don’t think it would go over well,” you said, grabbing your garment bag that held your leo for today, “I’m going to go get ready because I know if we end up talking to Joel and Nolan first, we won’t be ready in time.”

After you got ready, both you and Nicole got your pep talk from Nolan and Bee. On the way to the arena, both of you got a bunch of good luck messages - not just from your friends and family, but also from teammates and even some from most of the Stars roster. You had a feeling in your gut that today would be a good day. 

….. 

“Alright folks, Day 2 of Championships have been off to a great start and are about to come to a close. With Nicole Carter in first with a 57.605 All-Around score and Kathryn Davis in second with a 57.1, Cassie Riley in third with a 56.2, it comes down to the final rotations. y/n y/l/n is one of the last to go on floor today, who will need a score of at least a 13.5 to get first,” the announcer said. 

“And compared to her average score, this will be easily attainable. If she scores at least a 14.5, she’ll be first overall for both days of competition. She already has a for sure spot at Trials, even when you don’t consider scores. As long as she is able to hit all elements of this routine, she’ll be fine,” another announcer said. 

“Ok, you’re good, you just have to hit this routine and there’s no doubt you’ll make it to where you want to be. Deep breaths, Twinkle Toes,” Marcus said. 

Walking up the platform to get up to the floor, you took your spot at the edge of the floor, ready to salute the judge, and get the last meet of championships out of the way. After anxiously waiting, the judge finally saluted. Entering the floor with a determined walk, you took your spot waiting for the familiar sound of your floor music to ring out.

That familiar feeling of doing the sport you loved, once again, rushed through your veins. Block everything out and complete the routine, that’s all you had to do. Going to your starting pose, the music started. Going through the familiar motions of your routine, you stuck your first tumbling pass. Then came the leaps and jump sequence and all that was in between, with the additional three tumbling passes. 

You didn’t give yourself a chance to overthink about your routine, you knew that it wouldn’t benefit you in any way, but as you stepped off the floor you knew that you did what you could. As soon as you made it back to where Marcus and Nicole were sitting, you waited to see what your score was. 

Joel and everyone watching at home watched as you sat down to see what your score was. He had this dopey grin gracing his features from the amount of pride he felt in that moment. He didn’t care what your score was, he knew you had put whatever you could out on the mat. He listened to Travis for a moment until the announcer started up again for scores and awards, “and y/n y/l/n pulled through with the score that she needed, a 14.9 on floor. She placed first in All-Around, Carter following right behind, and Davis in third. If all goes this well at trials, I’d say we have a lot of good representation for the Olympic Games.”

…..

After the meet and countless amount of interviews both you and Nicole were extremely worn out and had both passed out on the flight back. As you and Nicole stepped out of the terminal, you were met with the familiar faces of your friends and family. You smiled as you saw Bee for the first time in a few days and despite how tired you were, you couldn’t stop yourself from running to him. 

He immediately caught you and did the cliche spin (the one you swore you would never do) before pulling you into a regular hug, “I’m so proud of you, babe. You have no idea.”

“Thank you. I surprisingly missed you,” you joked, laughing harder when Joel pulled you away slightly to catch a glimpse of your face. 

“Wow, aren’t I glad I was blessed with such a nice girlfriend? It’s crazy.”

“Absolutely insane.”

“Preposterous.”

“Can the two of you shut the fuck up?” Kevin asked, coming over to give you a hug, “you did good out there, y/n/n. You also kept all your bones intact, I’m proud.”

“Shut the fuck up, Kev.”

“Okay, aside from you getting onto Kev and Bee, I missed you, too,” Karly said from beside Travis. 

“I kinda did, too. You did amazing though, y/n/n. I’m proud,” Travis said. 

“Thank you, thank you. All in a hard day's work,” you said, shrugging. 

“Dude, you might want to go back to Beezer, he looks like a lost puppy watching you talk to us,” Travis pointed out, nodding in Joel’s direction who smiled when you caught his eye. 

“Yeah, not a shocking development,” you said, before walking back in Joel’s direction, “hey, Bee.”

“Hey, honey,” he said, wrapping his arms around you again, “you ready to go home?”

“Yeah, of course,” you leaned up to kiss his cheek. 

“Ew, guys. Get a room,” Kevin called out, fake gagging.