#but anyway im just saying i know he probably meant my as in mine as in my possession

[thanatoseyes]

I'm pretty sure if I count the amount of times Faust writes out Mephistopheles it will equate how many times a lover says their partner's name.

[cheryap]

ive gotten well damnginto this song

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Over here, laying in bed, wondering why the thought of driving is making me hyperventilate. Realized I haven't taken my anxiety meds today. Whoops.

[prince-liest]

Your last 666 series installment is the best thing that happened to me. Its full of gore, somehow fluffy and wait-.. do I finally see some FRICKING COMUNICATION between the two idiots!?!?!

Ngl, Vox's 'Alastor not being able to love' statement hurt my soul. Your writing is brilliant and and let's just see what ending ya wro-..O MA LORD IS THAT VAL'S LOVE POTION!?!?!?!?

Now I need to know what's next!!!! And VOX I SWEAR IF U USE THIS SITUATION IN ANY WAY IM GOING TO SKIN YOU ALIVE.

This series is a blast♡ love it!♡ makes me weirdly passionate and excited hah!

Some communication, and some communication failure, hahaha. They're going to be talking a lot more in the next one, actually, because I meant to write some NSFW and they had to go and attempt a healthy conversation instead. What can you do.

Thank you so much, I'm delighted that you're enjoying! :D

And: Way more anon asks about the latest 666 getting answered under the cut! <3 I combined a bunch from the last couple of days.

prince, I'm going insane over the latest fic. so we know from Alastor's inner monologue that he knows the roofie was an accident, but considering the super stressful situation, the fact that Vox was the one to ask for a kiss and the fact that Alastor accused him of wanting instead of loving him not a few minutes ago…. makes me wonder if Vox might not be at least a little worred that Alastor might think it was on purpose <3 gonna be rotating this in my head for the foreseeable future - ✨

I am so glad that these things are on y'all's minds, hahaha. Because you can bet they are on mine. >:D And THANK YOU, very pleased to be dragging everyone down into insanity with me.

“Should I stitch together the scars your teeth left in me in a mirror of my own signature on your body.” Fucking. POETRY. 🐈‍⬛

I am always so happy when I write shit like this and instead of everyone pointing at me and going, "Look, what an EDGELORD!" the response is you people being VERY nice and leaning into the feelsy fun! 💛

holy moly ??? i love the new 666 addition aaaah 😭🙏 the trials and tribulations of feeling scorned and ghosted by a loser who confessed his love to you and the next time you see him he’s holding your LITERAL heart in his hands by alastor ! OMFG this was too good esp the part where vox is like “bro why do YOU CARE ?? i thought you didn’t love me huh?” and alastor is like well. maybe i.do. 😐 LIKE CMONN this really played out like some soap drama and i loved the neat details on resuscitative thoroctomy (learned a new word too so double bonus) the fact vel was on the line w her and val’s apparent surgeon for val’a little ‘incidents ??? GOLDEN I SAYY hope we see more of ur oc … 🫣🫣 btw ofc vox would love to an end an argument with a kiss OF FUCKING COURSE HE WOULD 😭 thank u sm for this chapter princeliest my dear <3 hope life is treating u well too !! -🦌

Vox is ahead of Alastor in terms of effective in-the-moment conflict resolution, but goddamn if he isn't fucked up in his own fun little ways. They're so not done with most of these issues, but at least they're on they're way to maybe be able to have a real conversation about them!

You know. If they chose to do that kind thing. Instead of whatever they will probably do instead.

Anyway, THANK YOU!! I had a great deal of fun writing this chapter and digging into some of the issues that have been slowly collecting underneath the surface of kinky radiostatic, so I'm happy you guys are enjoying as well!! :D

AS FOR MY OC... I WILL POST ABOUT THEM SOON. I LOVE THEM A LOT AND IT EXCITES ME THAT PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW MORE OF THEM. Tysm for asking Q^Q

Just read the new addition to the 666 verse, and inside of me are two wolves: The first is saying: Immaculate, artistry of the highest form. We finally get Alastor’s own confrontation with his vulnerability and him trying to figure out what exactly the relationship with Vox means to him. Cannot wait for how this all is going to develop. The other part of me: THE BREADCRUMBS WORKED THE MUSE IS WRITING!!! Followed by this image (since tumblr won’t let me attach it while being anonymous) https://i.redd.it/hx2shk642vs71.jpg -🕊️

LMAO THAT PIC. Amazing, flawless, thank you. The breadcrumbs DEFINITELY worked, please keep feeding. Digging into Alastor's shit is bringing me life and I'm happy to share it, hahaha. We're swinging even harder on the introspection in the next one!

As a sucker for medical gore and aroace angst, I lack the words to express my love and appreciation for your most recent installment of 666, but your writing of radiostatic's dynamic was captivating and proved to be such a lovely read as always! I loved that you touched on Alastor's relationships with the women around him as that has always been such an interesting aspect of his character to me! I never really put much thought into how Vox's apparent avoidance of Alastor in the show could mirror Alastor's disappearance, and now it will Not leave my mind. My heart hurts for these two dorks, super looking forward to chapter 2!

"Medical gore and aroace angst" should be the title of my memoir. Honestly, this series has ended up a lot more edgy-bloody than I expected it to, since I usually tend to prefer to portray my whump/angst/violence/etc in a much more roundabout way, but it's actually kinda tipped over into, like... part of the point is how banal it is, how beside the point. The upsetting heavy-hitting bits aren't the blood, they're everything else that goes on around it. Anyway, thank you so much! <3 I think your heart will find some relief in chapter two, haha, I hope you enjoy!!

Meanwhile alastor, completely convinced that there’s no situation where vox actually loves him and is happy with the way things are—either vox wants more and is going to start asking for more, or he doesn’t actually love him and just wants to have sex with him and thus either way he is a Liar. They’re so fucking bad at this. No one is capable of being the adult here. I think they need an auspitice.

It's really funny that you said that, because that is kind of exactly the role that [spoiler] ends up playing, though in a more roundabout way, hahaha. They certainly need someone to, like, get them to be having the same conversation with each other instead of two parallel ones. I think the fun thing about writing Alastor reacting to his own feelings is just how much his reaction can change based on how things are framed for him, and it leaves a lot of wiggle room for how differently I've ended up writing him reacting to the season 1 finale in 666 vs in Happily Ever After, and Other Shit Nepotism Can't Buy.

But, god, you really nailed the description of what Alastor is feeling. <3

Vox in the latest 666, my ENTIRE HEART. Literally nothing about how he read the situation was a bad take or a leap to conclusions, but alastor constantly says the opposite of what he means and refuses to admit vulnerability or friendship and what the hell else was vox meant to do with that, of course he backed off, they need to have this talk so badly

YES, PRECISELY! Like, I hope it came through that really neither of them was completely crazy to react the way they did! It's a result of how much of their communication has been nonverbal, implied, and talking around things - they'd been doing so well up until this point, but there's only so far that can take you before you start thinking that you're on the same page when really you're reading two completely different books! Thank you sm! <3

‘But I am capable,” Alastor says gently. “I love you very much.” Vox gapes up at him. “...I. Fuck you.” His voice is tight, strained. “I don’t fucking believe you.” Alastor feels his smile thin. “Well. That’s just dandy, then, isn’t it?”’ I AM NOT OK GOING FUCKING FERAL

Probably one of my favorite lines to write, ehehehe. THANK YOU ANONNNN <3 It's kinda interesting to see how differently some people read this. Some folks thought Alastor was saying it to hurt Vox (which is how Vox read it). Some folks thought it was true (how Alastor intended it). Some folks thought Alastor was trying to fit into the mold that he thought Vox wanted from him (how I intended it). All of them make sense as readings! >:)

[leonscape]

i feel like we all perceive the suitors differently based on who we are and idk why or what compelled me to make this post but i’m sharing anyways

i’ve seen people hc sexualities and i feel like i have a unique view because im ace but i also don’t call characters gay just because? i have never developed feelings for anyone nor do i participate in discussions about who’s hot and who’s not. im kinda not wired that way so i feel like that makes my perspective different.

i think it’s interesting when people call the suitors gay and ship them because they’re actually straight, meant for a female audience. it’s not heterosexual content and i think it really comes down to how the characters are written, and the type of person viewing the characters.

disclaimer: this is my opinion you do not have to agree with it, but i do ask you to be respectful. you do not need to argue your opinion or against mine so let’s keep it chill

okay let’s start ^_^

jin is straight there’s literally no arguing this one. his love of women is very intense but he’s just being one of the bros unapologetically? i think everyone can agree on this one.

chevalier hear me out is ace. i bet he’s the type to read erotica with a straight face and it truly is for the plot. it doesn’t bother him and he doesn’t pay attention to that kind of thing. if we take out the otome aspect out of ikepri, he’d just be aroace fr. and i think this way because he tells emma to prove that romance and love has worth. so i don’t see him attracted to men and i don’t think he’s attracted to women either he just falls in love with emma because she’s the beauty to his beast romance?

clavis probably is also ace, gray ace. in my post about ace hc’s i said he’s probably ace and im pretty sure that was before his route came out and now after having played it, i still stand by that. i think sexual attraction isn’t important to clavis. i think he’s more worried about abandonment and figuring out if this person is his ride or die kind of person. i just think his priorities are different and maybe that’s why it seems like he comes off as ace. i do not see him being attracted to men.

leon is straight. maybe it’s jin’s influence and i see them as very similar. maybe it’s purely just my perception of him. i have heard that some people think his bi because everyone is charmed by him? but i just don’t see him reciprocating that kind of preference to guys. i think he also has a hard time reciprocating energy towards women too. idk i guess i imagined him talking to a nice girl, everything’s going well, but his stomach drops as he reminds himself that he’s a fake. he doesn’t let people get too close to him otherwise he will get eaten alive by the guilt from deceiving them but he’s also afraid to tell them. i mean how is he supposed to tell his partner when he hasn’t told his closest brothers? the brothers that he’s grown up with and grown close to? i also just think he’d be enthusiastic about being a dad and starting a family because he didn’t know his parents and he didn’t even have the luxury of having leon’s parents either so i think it would mean a lot to him to start a family and give his kids a mom and a dad. wait this isn’t a post about just leon i got carried away oops but does this mean i think leon is ace? nah he’s just afraid that his insecurity in his identity will damage the relationships he has and the illusion of leon.

yves is ace i don’t care what they say his spicy content feels very performative and fan service-y to me. i said he’s ace in my ace hc post too so i still stand by that. he gets embarrassed when he talks about it so i don’t think he’s really comfortable in his sexuality? me personally i project onto yves just a bit?? like im just gonna say that desire does not equal sexual attraction because i get confused and uncomfortable about it sometimes so i have to remind myself. i think he wants to participate in those types of acts but feels conflicted. also i know he’s the resident femboy and that’s more likely to get him labeled as gay or something but i actually don’t see him being into men but we know he’s an ally from that one bond story of his.

licht, i swear im not doing this on purpose because of my own biases, but he’s ace too bro. he doesn’t really pay attention to sexuality and attraction and stuff. or maybe the more traumatized or mentally ill they are the more i think they’re ace. wait that’s not true i’ll get to nokto after this. yeah idk licht is depressed af so he don’t have time to think “mmh men” or “mmh women” or “mmmhh both” there’s no attraction until after he established a relationship so yeah i guess he’s demisexual.

nokto is gay. okay fine i’ll say bi. weeell ok not naming names but kinda because it’s a small fandom and it’s not hard to figure out. but my perception of him has definitely been influenced by fandom. now i just think he likes men

luke is honestly i don’t know i guess he’s straight. he doesn’t do sus things and he just seems like what jin was like before his addiction to breasts and to “the sand in the hourglass” (assuming jin wasn’t always a pervert like that).

i do not have enough information on gilbert

keith is straight you cannot tell me he wouldn’t have a wife and 10 kids if he was born a commoner. he’d be a farmer just plowing the fields, growing medicinal plants, and providing for his family. he just seems like a straight up guy (see what i did there) making an honest living and obeying his wife who is in charge of the household.

silvio is another straight guy. attracted to women but doesn’t want to be because his money attracts the wrong kind of women.

rio also straight he’s probably only attracted to emma actually so yeah i know we joke about it but i think this guy really just only likes emma

finishing off the list strong with my sariel ace hc. yeah he’s giving the “i’m too busy with work/school” ace tbh. he’s like the professional guy that ignores the flirting but every once in a while it does affect him if he’s interested. but i don’t think he experiences much attraction and maybe he doesn’t have time either?

[taestefully-in-luv]

Love Again | PJM (Thirteen)

Summary: A friend of yours is eager to introduce you to her new man but what happens when Park Jimin, the man who broke your heart 5 years ago walks in through the door?

Pairing: Jimin x Female reader

Genre: exes au, exes to ???, fluff, angst, smut

Word Count: 18k

Warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, feelings of rejection, confrontation, mentions of sex, feelings everywhere, mention of pot brownie, very drunk reader,  accidental misunderstandings about possible suicide (but its not), cliches, classic miscommunication, some jealousy. 

Notes: im so sorry its taken so long! I am back from vacation now:] enjoy a long chapter to make up for it!  I hope you continue to enjoy this story. Love hearing from you guys<3  Send an ask if you want to be added to a tag list or just want to chat:) 

Previously on…in chapter 12 of Love again, you realize you and your friends have been getting busy—minus Taehyung…you and Jimin decide the night you shared was a one time thing, until it wasn’t. Hoseok and Dae. Naomi and Jeremy. It’s all a mess. Hoseok knows all the truths about Jimin now after Jimin confided in him. You tried to talk to Namjoon but failed. And now Jimin is telling you things that start making you question ‘feelings’. 

© Taestefully-in-luv

Previous --- Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What…what do you mean by that?” You ask Jimin as directly as you can muster, though your voice still sounds softer than you intend. He looks at you, brows slightly furrowed as he silently questions if you are really not understanding. 

Jimin finally tears his eyes from you, “I’ve had an interesting week,” He sighs, suddenly seeming more detached. “I was quick to want to talk to you about it because…well,” His eyes rise to your face again, “That’s what we’ve always done. But this isn’t the past. I’ve always told you all my thoughts and feelings as they were happening because it was easy with you—because I was yours. But I’m not yours.” He pauses, eyes lingering as he waits for you to say something. He’s not necessarily looking for a retort to his statement but…

“Anyway, you’re not mine either.” His gaze falls again, “Work things out with Namjoon, I guess. I still stand by what I’ve said. Your reasons feel…I guess it doesn’t matter. Since you’ve already decided, huh?”

You can’t really focus on Jimin’s face. Your eyes roam around the bar, your entire body feeling on edge as you try to create some sort of response. You aren’t sure what words to pull from thin air, good ones, bad ones, neutral ones. You aren’t sure what words are even considered good or bad. Hell, even neutral. 

Hoseok’s right though…you aren’t this dumb. You know deep down you have already pieced this together yet you continue to ask Jimin to clarify. Probably your own insecurities coming back to haunt you time and time again. You continue to look away from him, still debating in your mind how to go about this. He wanted to talk to you after discussing thing’s with Hoseok…your best friend even said there’s more Jimin needs to say. Jimin admitted he has selfish reasons for not wanting you to be with Namjoon and on top of everything, he told you he knows exactly what sex meant with you.

The sex you two shared is something he told you is rare—but what exactly did it mean to him? You can assume all day but your heart that guards itself, your heart that still drowns in a pool of fears, your heart that once belonged to him…is afraid and needing a clear answer. 

You bring yourself to take a deep breath and look at him again. You see he is already looking at you, his eyes studying you like he’s trying to rack your brain for your thoughts. There’s an uncomfortable atmosphere surrounding the two of you, air heavy with looming nightmares. Both scared and both hopeful—at least, you think.

“Jimin.” You say his name as you’ve always have but a hint of caution can be heard. 

“Yeah?” He swallows hard, heart thumping in nerves. 

“Do you…” You gaze at him carefully, unaware of how your pausing is making him lose his mind. “Do you still…” You pause again, once again careful as you approach this…Jimin swallowing once more but this time instead of spit it almost tastes like puke. “Do you still have feelings for me?”

No sudden wide eyes, no sudden lips parting in shock…instead you see the expression of a man who is experiencing something close to relief, like he’s been wanting you to ask this question. But then he’s trying to understand your question more and more…processing each and every word. 

“Still?” He asks, appearing almost thoughtful before he’s slightly shaking his head and looking into your eyes more seriously. And then you see the expression of a man who has come to his final conclusion and you see the heart of a man who lacks contrition. “No.”

~~~

Well, that scene from last night keeps playing over and over in your messy mind. You sit here on your sofa, staring at your black screen TV, eyes going in and out of focus as the scene starts over again—

“What…what do you mean by that?” You ask Jimin as directly as you can must—Well, you get it. 

It plays again and you wonder in this messy mind of yours where it all went wrong. You let yourself have a little confidence in what you thought you knew but you were so fucking wrong. You thought…shit, you were so sure that’s where everything was going—that’s what was adding up. Your gut told you he still had feelings for you and you decided to trust it…and wow, what a mistake that was.

Maybe you should have waited for an explanation of sorts, Jimin’s mouth opened again like he was about to tell you something and his eyes screamed that it was important but you never got around to it, your own reaction to his ‘no’ became overwhelming. But…what exactly were you expecting? For him to start nodding his head frantically with a giant smile on his face as he chants, ‘Yes, I still love you! I love you. I love you. I love you.’ 

Feeling embarrassed, you lean back onto your sofa, eyes still unfocused as your mind just shows you his face. When he said ‘no’ (a word you selfishly were not expecting) your body moved on its own. You almost felt the shock of his simple two lettered word—the word alone made you feel your heart drop down into your lower belly and you felt it begin the disintegration process. Your eyes repeatedly blinked at him, expression obvious that you were trying to process what he said—but how hard is to process one simple word like that?

Then boom. You were gone. Lost in the crowd as you slipped away from Jimin’s view. He didn’t go after you, running towards you in desperation. No, his feet stayed planted to the ground, eyes going to the bartender when he raised his hand for another drink. 

Do you feel silly? Sure, maybe, yes. Embarrassed? Maybe, yes, sure. For more than one reason…for asking the question to begin with and for also running away like a coward. But you aren’t sure what you were expecting from any of this—no matter his answer. You wish this was the only thing taking over your mind but somewhere else in the foreground is another face. Namjoon’s face. And speak of the devil (more like angel, let’s be honest) you can hear soft knocking on your front door—the moment has arrived—time to talk to Namjoon.

You’re debating now if you actually want to get up and answer the door—the door that he is on the other side of. You wish this conversation could have happened earlier, that last night’s events weren’t so fresh but unfortunately, this is the timeline. Reluctant, you finally rise from the sofa and go towards the door. You’re on deep breath number 16 before you finally reach for the door knob and open up for Namjoon.

“Hey, beautiful.” He greets you, voice sounding far because of the fat droplets of rain falling all around him. He stands here, hair still drying from his shower…or maybe it’s gotten damp again thanks to the weather. He is wearing a gray pullover wrapped around his torso and he looks so warm and cozy for this rainy day. “What a day, huh?” He glances around him, smile on his face as he admires the gloominess. Maybe you’re the only one who recognizes the gloom though.

“Yeah.” You offer him a weak excuse of a smile. “Come in, come in.”

“Sorry, it took me a little longer to get here,” Namjoon looks at you over his shoulder as he slips his shoes off, “I had to stop because there was a little row of baby ducks trying to cross the road!”

“Baby ducks?” You walk ahead of him now, finding a place on your sofa. “That’s cute.”

“I thought it was cute too,”  Namjoon grins to himself before he walks into your living room as well, “But I didn’t see their mom anywhere! So I got out and I tried leading them to the other side of the road…” He takes a seat next to you, leans in to plant a kiss to your temple. “But I must have startled them so they waddled back to the side they came from.”

You can’t help but snort, lips lifting into a more believable smile. “I wish I could have seen that.”

“I think the other three cars passing by and honking at me was enough.” Namjoon’s sheepish expression is enough to make you laugh a little. Settling down, you gaze at him for a moment.

“You seem like you’re in a better mood since the last time I saw you.” You tell him, eyes dressed in wonder. “Did some things get resolved?”

At this, Namjoon lips break apart, a look of surprise before he’s looking down at his hands with an interesting smile growing on his face. Interesting because his smile is always so genuine but this feels beyond that—beyond genuine—beyond happy, beyond peace, beyond fulfilment. 

“Yeah, I guess, I kind of had a bit of a break through with Emiko last night.” He says. “I told you that this past week was rough for me…for her, too. Her uh, her own personal stuff going on.” His eyes meet yours as he continues to explain, a softness in his irises. “She wasn’t letting me in and it was so…well, it was rough for me, you know? I’ve known her my whole life basically and it hurt that she was pushing me away.”

“I get that.” You lean back onto your sofa, back of your head melting into the cushion. “Sucks when someone you’re close to isn’t telling you everything.”

“Exactly!” Namjoon quietly blurts, “Anyway, last night I asked her to meet up and she did and we got to talking. She was having some issues with her boyfriend—ex boyfriend—and she didn’t want to involve me. I knew things weren’t great with them but she never gave up.”

“Sounds like a lot of couples, huh?”

“I guess so. But it’s important to know when to let things go.” He barely raises his shoulders for a shrug, “Human beings are brighter than we think,” He chuckles, “Deep down we are always aware of when it’s time to give up. But then it gets complex when we fight what we know…somehow believing we can change things. But we always know the truth.” 

We always know the truth, huh?

“Anyway,” Namjoon bows his head as he rests his hands on either side of this thighs, fingers lightly gripping the ends of the couch cushions, “After everything he did to her,” Your eyes fall to his hand closest to you when you see his grip tighten. “She just…deserves good things only. I hope she realizes that now.” He raises his head again to glance at you. “She told me so many things and I think she feels freer now. And it’s crazy,” He exhales a long breath as he chuckles, “So do I. Knowing she will be okay now.”

You study him for a moment, seeing how his body relaxes at his own words. You can’t help the unavoidable smile that spreads on your lips. He’s truly a gem in this world and no matter what happens between you both…knowing him is a gift. He’s a person worth knowing. And your years long crush on him has also been so worth it. 

“I’m glad things got better, Joon.” Your voice is sincere and he cracks another smile before appearing more satisfied.

“Well, and one of the ones who backed out on the summer book tour called yesterday and wanted back in—so I think that helps too.” He grins now. “Things are looking up again! Emiko sorted most the details but I’ll be busy here soon. We will be gone most of the summer. I even have a reading booked in September, the day of my birthday—the last one of the tour, too.” He laughs, “Emiko thought I would like that.” 

“It’s your birthday yet you’re the one giving a gift. The gift of your words.” You smile at him, “Emiko knows you well, that seems right up your alley.” 

Namjoon waves you off with a sheepish look, “It’s more selfish than that. It’s more like I get to force people to listen to me with no shame.” 

“Well, I’m proud of you, Joon. This is a huge accomplishment, really.” 

“Thanks, y/n.” Namjoon’s hand goes to your thigh when he offers a small squeeze in appreciation. “You’re one of the people who has motivated me so much. And your presence has been very needed in this time in my life.”

“H-How so?” 

“I can feel your support radiating off your body, you know?” Namjoon fights back a grin, “I see the way you look at me…I can tell you mean everything you say to me. I feel it when you give your support. You’re warm. You’re comfort, even.” 

You slowly lift your head from the couch cushion, eyes staying on his as you get hit with a pang of guilt. You called him here to tell him you want to be with him. You called him here to tell him the truth. You called him here to tell him everything. Come clean with it all before you see if he still wants you. But how could you be someone’s comfort if you’re ultimately their disappointment. Maybe even their regret. 

“I-I’m not any of those things, Namjoon.” Your voice is almost silent. Almost because there is technically sound but even if there wasn’t…your expression tells all. Namjoon scoots closer to you, his thigh meeting yours like it’s greeting it with a long kiss. 

“You are.” He tells you simply, “No use in telling me differently. Once I’ve decided something, that’s that. Emiko blames that mindset on me being a Virgo,” He shrugs. “Whatever that means.”

“Wow,” You respond in an airy chuckle. 

“So how was your week?” Namjoon’s hand slides into yours. “I know I went on about myself…”

“You didn’t.” You assure him, “My week was…something. Lots of weird stuff going around with my friends apparently.” 

“Like?”

“Like…” You nibble on your lips before your eyes expand comically, “Like holy shit! Apparently Naomi and Jeremy hooked up?! They were being so freaking weird at work and then last night so many bombs went off and—”

“You’re…” Namjoon blinks at you, eyebrows pinching together. “You’re surprised about that?”

“Wh…of course I am surprised about that?! Hoseok and I are shocked as hell. Like, you know them, right? Naomi. Jeremy. Picture them. Now picture them…together. Weird, right?!”

“Oh wow.” Namjoon breathes out, surprise lurking on his face.

“Oh wow is right, dude.”

“No…oh wow, because you are…how did you guys not know?” He starts laughing now, making you gasp out loud. “Oh come on, y/n. Wasn’t it so obvious?”

“How was that obvious?”

“Jeremy always hated Naomi’s ex—sorry, I forgot his name. And they’re always together. Like, always. Also, the way they bicker—isn’t that just  flirting?”

“No, this is a shock!”

“The only thing shocking is that they only now just hooked up.” Namjoon contemplates in deep thought. “You sure it’s the first time?”

“Pretty sure…” You slouch your shoulders, small pout forming. “The way they acted all week towards each other kind of gives away how new this is to them…”

“Ah, okay.” He nods, “So…then what?”

“Well, they’re fighting. Naomi apparently actually loves his cringey poetry. And somehow they related that to my shoulder dance…anyway, not entirely sure what’s going on there but…” You bite down onto you bottom lip, a sincere thought pouring out of your mouth so suddenly, “I hope they work it out. I know how important they are to one another. If it’s being best friends or if it’s being a couple…I don’t know, I just hope they come together whichever way makes them happiest.” 

“Hm. Yeah, I agree. I think what’s important here is that no matter the dynamic—they’re just in one another’s lives and are content with the place they’re in.” 

“That’s…” You glance at Namjoon and you show him an appreciative smile. “That’s the perfect way to say it.” 

Namjoon’s thumb starts stroking your skin as he nudges his shoulder with yours, “Well, anything else?”

“Yeah. You know Taehyung’s sister? Dae?” You wait for Namjoon to nod, “Well, Hoseok slept with her. They have a history though. And his dumbass bolted the morning after.”

“Ouch.” Namjoon cringes in his spot, “Not the best move.”

“Definitely not.” You snort. “He’s just afraid of too many things he doesn’t know.”

“Aren’t we all?” Namjoon ruminates. 

“But I think if he just talks to her…they could work it out and something nice could come from all of this.” You sigh out, now worried about your best friend and his love life—probably a great way to avoid your own. 

“Seems all your friends have been getting busy,” Namjoon jokes, “What about Taehyung?”

“Poor guy is the one most interested in finding the love of his life but not sure he’s gotten so lucky.”

“Well, sometimes we finally get the things we’ve been searching for if we stop looking so hard.”

“Tell him that.” You deadpan.

“I’ll try to remember.” 

“But seriously…he’s a saint of a person. He’s going to make someone so happy one day and my only concern is that whoever that person is deserves it and makes him just as happy…if not more.”

“We always wish that for the people we care about.” Namjoon whispers, his eyes falling to his legs as he thinks of those that applies to in his own life and then he clears his throat, eyes back on you. “So, anything else?” He asks with a smile, his interest still intact.

His smile…his genuine smile. It’s enough for your own smile to get wiped off your face as you feel the truth start rising like bile in your throat. Your hand escapes his as you thread your fingers together and you try to calm your nerves that are exploding one at a time inside your body.

“Yeah.” You admit softly, “There is something else. But Namjoon,” Fuck, your voice cracks just the slightest and he’s already shifting his expression into one of concern. “It’s not great. It’s bad, probably—no, definitely.”

“Okay…” Namjoon’s one word spills out of his mouth slowly. He’s always so calm and collected but right now, as you glance at him, you think you see an ounce of worry. This only makes you feel worse. 

“I have to tell you something. Something about me. Something that affects you.” You cower from his gaze. 

“Okay.” He says again, much more firm. “y/n, you can tell me anything. The important that is that you tell me…whatever it is.”

You aren’t sure how to say it. Do you just come out with the truth, ‘I slept with Jimin.’ Or do you start from the beginning of the story and lead up to the fact that is beginning to haunt you? Both feel like the wrong answer. Both feel wrong because it is wrong. Maybe you aren’t exclusive but emotionally it was still wrong and your heart is decaying in your chest as you realize this. It’s wrong because the aftermath is still the same—Namjoon will not be happy—and because you care about him because you do, it’s going to fucking hurt. 

“Namjoon.” You speak as if your own mouth is reluctant, going against you, even though telling the truth is the right thing. 

“Hey,” Namjoon’s large hand grabs onto your thigh. “It’s okay. Just talk to me. Just say it however you need to.”

“Okay,” You gulp, “But if I say it for what it is…no matter what it is…would you allow me to explain?”

“Yeah.” He assures you, “I wouldn’t rob you of an explanation, y/n.”

You chuckle humorlessly at this, staring ahead, “Sometimes I wish you weren’t so perfect.” 

“I’m not.” He sighs, but you hear the smile.

“I slept with Jimin.” You say, eyes focused on the TV screen. You don’t find the courage to glance at him to gauge his reaction but you do feel his hand slowly slipping away from your thigh and you’re left with a coldness where his fingers once were. “Last weekend.”

“Slept…with…Jimin…” Namjoon mumbles, more to himself, you think. 

You finally turn your body to face him more, “Yeah.” You own up to it, eyes observing Namjoon as you see his brain search for more of a response. “Can I explain?” You ask as softly as you can and he finally meets your eyes, confusion grown so heavily in them as he nods his head.

“Last Friday, Jimin and I were hanging out and it wasn’t anything unusual.” You gaze at Namjoon, apology evident on your features. “I promise it wasn’t unusual…I didn’t know…I never intended…” You choke a little on your words because you aren’t sure what to think of what you’re even trying to say. “We were just hanging out and things—things escalated, obviously.” You wince at your own implication, “But it wasn’t…well, we ate these brownies…um, you know brownies with weed.”

“You guys ate edibles?” He asks quietly.

“Yes. And it just heightened everything and I don’t know, things just grew into so much more than I was ever thinking it would and—”

“So, you guys got high and had sex.” Namjoon points out the obvious, but his tone is not anywhere near sounding condescending. He sounds like he’s just trying his best to piece things together. 

“Yeah.” You nod in agreement, “We did. And we also agreed it was a one-time thing…”

“And has it been a one time thing?” He gazes into your eyes, almost looking desperate for an answer.

“Mostly.”

“Mostly?” His brows pull together, “So, no?” 

“Just…mostly. Listen, it won’t happen again.”

“It won’t?” Namjoon narrows his eyes at you, his expression has hardened but there is still a softness to him.

“I’ve decided what I want, Namjoon.” You stare at him with an obvious vulnerability and he picks up on it instantly. You take a deep breath before adding, “If we can work past this…” You suddenly feel stupid for asking what you’re about to ask because how selfish are you?

“Tell me what it is you’ve decided.” Namjoon softens more, eyes losing their edge as he gazes at you. “I’m listening.”

“You.” You whisper, “You’re an incredible person and I enjoy being with you…I feel good when I’m with you and you…” You lose your words as you see a smile—his genuine fucking smile. 

“You’re wondering if we can still be together once we work past this, right?” His hands finds your thigh again, squeezing it. “But y/n…what exactly did you explain?”

“Huh?”

“You told me what happened, I guess. But where is the explanation for why—”

“The brownie!” You suddenly blurt. 

“The brownie?” He shakes his head, still trying to hold his smile but you can see it waver. “No, come on,” His eyes glaze over in a need for more. “Why did you sleep with Jimin? Brownie or not, why did you feel the need to be with him like that?”

“I…” Your mouth falls open pathetically as you try to force words to come out of it but you are only capable of making ‘I’ drip from your lips repeatedly. 

Namjoon tilts his head as he watches you, his once worried expression shifting into something more understanding. “Hey…” He squeezes your thigh again but you just blink at him, brain exhausting itself as you come up with your proper response. But his knowing smile is making your eyes sting a bit, thin layer of tears coating them and you choke on any letter that tries to make its way out of you.

“It’s okay.” He tells you, tender eyes on your face. “I get it.” 

Get it? He doesn’t get it. You want to scream at him that whatever he thinks he gets—he doesn’t. Does anyone get it? Your eyes burn, your throat burns, your heart fucking burns. You have so many things you wish you could say but you don’t know how. You don’t fucking know how. You drop your shoulders, feeling the weight of everything at once. You feel the shame weighing down your body, pound by pound. 

“I’m sorry.” Coherent words finally manage to leave you. “I’m so sorry.” 

Namjoon can feel his heart hurting as he stares at you, “It’s okay.” He whispers.

“It’s not.” You plead, “I know you’re so disappointed in me, or mad, or anything and I get it. I deserve that but please, Namjoon, I am so sorry. At least take that. Take my apology.” Your voice cracks throughout and you hate appearing this way but it’s just your heart speaking at this point.

“I’m not mad, y/n.” He tells you softly, “I’m not disappointed in you. I’m not.”

“Could we work through this and—”

“But…” He stops you from finishing that thought, his hands finally going back to his own lap. “I told you earlier that humans are brighter than we think…that we make things more complex for thinking we can change things that we can’t. I’d like to think I’m a little wise, sometimes.” He chuckles but his eyes are a little glassy. “I think I’m one who knows when to let things go and give up.” 

“Namjoon—”

“Hey,” Namjoon reaches for your cheek, his fingers brushing against it softly, “Stop looking so guilty,” He laughs. “It’s okay.”

Your body shakes from even more guilt, your eyes stinging as you’re dangerously close to actually crying. 

“Never feel bad for how you feel. Your feelings won’t align with every person. You can’t always please every person—because then you, the person who matters most, is the one who won’t be pleased.”

Your chest tightens and your face twists into something devastated before you finally close your eyes and let yourself cry. “I’m sorry.” You choke. 

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay.” Namjoon leans into you, his arms wrapping around your body as he pulls you closer to his chest. You were right, his gray pullover is warm and cozy. He gently removes himself from you and meets your blurry gaze. “No regrets, y/n. I’m glad we did this even if it’s over now…I still got to know you more and we’ve become closer. I’m grateful for that. We’re friends, okay?”

You search his eyes, your frantic, afraid ones looking into his so helplessly but you only see his sincerity. 

“I’m going to head home…if you don’t mind.” He tries to smile for you. 

“Of—Of course.” You swallow down the millions of things you want to say to him. The biggest thing being ‘Thank you.’

Namjoon stands from your couch and starts heading towards your front door to slip his shoes back on…you follow behind him quietly. He opens the door and the sound of rain pouring echoes in both of your ears. He turns around quickly to say his goodbyes, your red eyes making him feel sad but he remains strong as he finally takes his leave. You shut the door behind him and he flinches at the sound, even though the click of the door was as soft as you, but just like you, the impact is huge. 

He releases a long breath as his eyes study the gray sky. He’s starting to notice the gloom in this rainy day. The repetitive sound of rain falling from the heavens isn’t enough to drown out his current thoughts—his praise to himself that he remained strong even though his heart is feeling weak. But he wonders if being strong is what he did—maybe true strength is his own honesty. Suddenly, Namjoon twists his body in his spot and knocks on your door. His heart feels weak, heavy even but this sudden courage is the thing giving it new strength. 

“Joon?” You say his name in question as you open the door for him again, he doesn’t move from his spot. Just the image of him, standing at your doorway with rain falling all around him. 

“Can I vent?” He asks you, voice sure of what he wants to say.

You relax your body as you nod your head. “Of course.” 

“I’m not mad at you, y/n. I’m not disappointed in you.” He begins, his tone as soft as always. “But I am disappointed. I like you. I’m sad.” He admits almost ashamed. “I’m sad because you found what I wanted you to have with me…with someone else. But I’m not mad about it. No, in the story of your life this makes sense, I guess. And in the story of my life, I’m wondering what’s going to make sense for me. I just have to wait.” He shrugs shyly and your heart pinches. “To be honest with you…I thought this summer I was going to figure out how to make a temporary long distance work with you but instead I’ll be figuring out how to get over you.” 

“I’m sorry…” You feel yourself shrink. “I don’t want you to be—”

“You’re my friend, y/n. And I got the privilege of knowing what it’s like to have more with you. Just because this aspect of our relationship is over doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. I value you too much to let go of this all the way. But forgive me for a while…” He pauses, trying his best not to grow emotional. “If I bask in this time away from you. Maybe I’ll need it.” 

“I’d for—forgive you for anything, Joon.” You bite your bottom lip. “Take all the time you need. I’m here whenever you need me, please know that.”

“I do know that. Thanks for everything, y/n.”

“Thank you. Thank you, Joon. Thank you because I’m learning something even in this moment…” Your eyes water as you show him a shameless smile.

“And what’s that?” His lips curl into a small grin. 

“This experience has shown me I can love again. I can. Thank you. It might not be the way I thought but…”

Namjoon expression morphs into the perfect pity smile. “You’re on the list of people who I hope finds the perfect happiness, y/n.”

“You too.” You watch as he nods, turning around to take his leave and his broad back is in view. He stands here, eyes on the sky and you think he is finally recognizing the gloom of this rainy day. 

~~~

“Damn.” Hoseok says on the other line, “You know I want to, y/n. But I’m trying to sort out my own messy shit too.” He sighs, “I don’t know. Maybe I can just talk to Dae tomorrow…I just feel bad making her wait—”

“No,” You cut him off, “Don’t make her wait. I get it. I can handle one night on my own, you know, believe it or not.” You attempt laughing but Hoseok groans. 

“I do believe it and that’s the problem! You’re actually reaching out and I’m rejecting you.”

“You don’t have to make it sound that dramatic.” You deadpan. “Come on, it’s okay. We can celebrate the end of my life another time. I’ll just throw a pity party for one in the meantime.”

“And you call me dramatic.” Hoseok huffs out, “Listen, I would love to be with you tonight but Dae already said she would come over soon so we can talk and honestly? I’m so fucking nervous, dude.”

You start smiling to yourself, feeling proud Hoseok is going through with this. “You like her, right?”

He’s silent on the other end. “Come on, Hoseok.” You laugh. “Admit this one, won’t you?”

“Fine, yeah, maybe.”

“And doesn’t it feel pretty good that you have a pretty good idea how she feels? She’s not leaving you wondering. Now you’re the one doing that to her.”

“Shit…” He grumbles to himself. “I hate that you’re kind of right. Anyway, I’m just going to try and do what feels right. I’ll let you know later how it goes.”

“Good. So if Dae is going over then…”

“Taehyung is with him.” Hoseok’s tone is soft now. “After you left last night…Jimin seemed…well, he didn’t tell me what happened.”

“I already told you.” You hold the phone closer to your face, as if anyone else would hear you. “I basically got ahead of myself.”

“But what does that mean?”

“It means I’m back to my no luck streak.” You chuckle. “But it seems you might be starting a good luck one. Make things right with Dae, Hobi. Call me later, okay?”

“Okay. Bye, y/n. Love you with all my heart.”

“I know. Love you too.” You say before bringing the phone down to your lap and touching the end button. You check the rest of your notifications when you see a text from Naomi and also a text from Jeremy—separate chats, of course. 

Naomi 8:04pm

I’ll explain everything tomorrow. I’m visiting my parents right now but I’ll be home again sometime tomorrow afternoon. Also!! If Jeremy asks if you know where I am say you don’t know, I’m trying to seem like I mysteriously vanished. 

Jeremy 8:47pm

Have u heard from Naomi

Jeremy 8:49pm

I went by her place but I don’t think she’s home……

You read over the texts before deciding to just click your phone off and worry about your own problems—at least for tonight. You stand and walk towards your bathroom, flipping on the light switch and externally groan when you see your reflection. Swollen eyes and an exhausted expression written all of your face. You look like you’re on the verge of an emotional breakdown and maybe you are. What a weekend so far, you think to yourself. 

You don’t fix your make up or do anything with your hair or even change out of your clothes—an oversized t shirt with a picture of Shrek’s face and the caption ‘so shrekxy’ and a pair of comfy shorts. In your opinion, this is the perfect look to have an emotional breakdown in. 

You give yourself an encouraging nod and thumbs up in the mirror before you decide it’s time to get the party started—the pity party.

~

“You’re scaring away my customers, y/n.” Your old college pal Lorenzo tells you sternly as he dries yet another glass. “If you’re going to be a cry baby, go home.”

You lift your head from the bar top, tired eyes on Lorenzo. He isn’t actually kicking you out, you know this. You rarely get to come to his small bar across town since the last time you came, over two years ago, he and your dearest friend Hobi got into some ridiculous fight. Hoseok’s pride took over and swore he would never come back here again. You try to visit every now and then though even if it’s by yourself.

“A cry baby?” You mumble, eyes filling with tears again and Lorenzo rolls his eyes.

“Not again…”

“Excuse me miss—”

You whip your head to the left to see a man standing next to you, he’s probably around your age, probably not hideous looking but you’re in no mood.

“What?” You snap, a small hiccup leaving your mouth. “Want to buy me a drink?” You accuse him before running the back of your hand to wipe the snot at your nose. 

“Uh, I was—”

“I hate to break it to you, buddy.” You cut in, “Love isn’t real. Not sure anything is real. I think—”

“No…” The guy pales, his hands raised in surrender before he’s gesturing towards the chair next to you. “I was going to ask if anyone was using this chair…” Then he glances behind him at his group of friends at a table nearby. “We need an extra chair….”

You blink at him lazily, processing the situation before you nod along. “Right. Right. Whatever, take it.” You wave him off as if you shouldn’t be totally humiliated. You shrug to yourself before resting your head against the bar top again and mumbling to yourself about the concept of love. It’s been rough.

This is beyond moping. Namjoon ended things with you and Jimin doesn’t have feelings for you. Both suck. For different reasons. But the latter hurts just a smidge more. And you’re deciding if you’re a bitch for that. 

“Whatever’s wrong, y/n. Things will get better.” Lorenzo tries to comfort you but this isn’t his strong suit. 

“Whatever’s wrong, y/n.” You start to mock him, head lightly banging on the wood. “Things will get bet—when Lorenzo?!” You dramatically cry out, once again mumbling to yourself about love and all its hardships. 

“Hey man.” You hear a new voice on your right side but you continue to live your life. “The usual please.”

“Rough day?” Lorenzo asks the newcomer. “Don’t tell me it’s another disaster date, man.” He tells the new guy, “Two weekends in a row?”

“I remember those.” You mumble in your arms. “Then I had great dates—but I went and ruined that too!” You whine, head hitting the bar top again.

“Damn…” The new guy begins but pauses, you’re sure you feel his eyes on you. “Isn’t there like, a limit, dude? Where you cut people off?” You’re sure he’s asking Lorenzo this.

You lift your head and your swollen eyes find Lorenzo already staring at you. “I wish she was wasted, dude. This is just a mental breakdown. The glass is water.” He says with a straight face. 

“Mental breakdown?” The guy next to you repeats Lorenzo’s words thoughtfully, “Perfect. I will have a glass of water too then. I’m also ready for a mental breakdown.” 

Is he…making fun of you? You are in no state to get made fun of! You finally lift yourself from the bar top and turn your bar stool in this stranger’s direction. As soon as you face him, you lift your pointer finger up, ready to scold him. “I’ll have you know—” But you stop mid-sentence, eyes slightly expanding as you eye the man over. 

“y/n???” The guy looks at you wide eyed. You blink at him a few times before realization is actually hitting you. Your eyes scan him over and you’re comparing what he looks like now and over five years ago. Way more tattoos than you remember and hair shorter than it was in college.

“Jungkook?” You gape at him. “Jeon Jungkook???”

His surprised expression finally relaxes and his lips curl into a smirk, “How was the brownie? Jimin said he was going to share some with you and your friends.”

“Ah, yes.” You slump your shoulders, spinning forward in the chair again. “So you’re to blame. This is all because of the brownie…the brownie you provided.” 

“Huh?” Jungkook’s doe eyes look even larger as he tries to figure out how this turned into something bad that he did. 

“Maybe you are a girlfriend stealer.” You sniffle to yourself, “Thanks to that brownie you stole away my chance at being a girlfriend.” 

“I can’t emphasize enough how confused I am.” Jungkook turns towards Lorenzo, “But please make my usual and that water, I am also needing a mental breakdown. So,” Jungkook turns back towards you, “Rough day?”

“Rough life.” You murmur, head tilting towards him and he grins at you.

“Can’t be worse than mine.”

“You’re smiling about that?” You give him a disturbed expression, “But in the last 24 hours I’ve gotten dumped by two guys.” 

Jungkook nods along to your words as he sits down in the chair next to you, once he gets comfortable he offers some strange looking smile. You narrow your eyes at him.

“What?” You ask cautiously.

“I just fled a date—yes, fled—with a girl who psychoanalyzed me in the first 15 minutes,” Then he sighs, “What’s worse is everything she said was right.” He starts laughing now, his front teeth poking out between his lips adorably. “Before she even properly introduced herself she looked me over and goes, ‘mm, yeah, mommy issues.’” He says in a sassy, feminine voice. “Can you believe it?”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.” Jungkook agrees with you, “But it gets worse.”

“It gets…worse?”

“Not even 10 minutes later in she goes,” He gets back into his female persona, “Oh yeah, daddy issues too.” 

“Damn.” You can’t help but laugh a little. “She read you for filth, huh?” 

“You should have seen her face! It’s like when she made these realizations, I could see literal excitement behind her eyes.”

“She likes a boy with baggage.” You shrug, “Is there a kink for that?”

“Probably. Her porn search history is probably ‘boy who purposely seeks mental breakdowns’ or ‘boys with all the issues’”

You snort at this, “I’m laughing at the purposely seeking mental breakdowns one.” 

“Speaking of,” Lorenzo slides a mixed drink over to Jungkook. “Enjoy. And also, let me hook you up with my cousin already.”

“Your cousin is married, Lorenzo.” Jungkook rolls his eyes, shaking his head as he stares at you, silently asking if you believe this guy.

“Yeah but we hate him!”

“At least try to hook me up with y/n first.” He glances at you with a sly grin. “You are single.”

“Thanks for the reminder.” 

“Anyway, you’re not drinking at all though?” Jungkook asks you, “Want something? I’ll buy since I apparently ruined your life with the brownie I provided.”

“Ha!” You raise your arms above your head in a stretch, “My emotional state plus alcohol? That’s a recipe for disaster!” 

20 Minutes Later

“And yeah,” you lightly slam your now empty shot glass down to the bar top, it joins the other two empty shot glasses. “That’s how I got dumped by two guys in 24 hours.” 

“Damn,” Jungkook throws his shot of liquor back as well. “That is rough.” 

You ended up spilling your entire sob story to Jungkook and in return he complained about several things going on with him as well. You two talked and talked and eventually switched over to mixed drinks. He explained his strained relationship with his parents and his shitty luck with almost anything in his life. 

“But actually,” Jungkook slightly slurs before he grins proudly to himself, “I’ve actually taken a little opportunity to get away from my parents for a while.” 

“Really?”

“Mhm. Well, my dad’s company—where I work—wait, shit did I call it my dad’s company? Sorry, I meant my parent’s company.” He starts snickering, “My mom would kill me if I excluded her in that and only gave credit to my father. Not sure what she actually contributes though…”

“You mean besides the emotional trauma?” You drunkenly joke.

“You’re right.” Jungkook nods quickly. “How could I forget about that…so, she really does work hard.” He can’t help but break out into a deep, rumbling laughter that he feels in his entire body.

Your eyes widen a little, “Wait, maybe we shouldn’t joke about that.”

“Why not?” Jungkook reaches for his drink and takes a generous sip. “Joking is how I cope.”

“Ah, this is why we got along in college.”

“It was also because you were hot.”

“Anyway.”

“So, back to you.” Jungkook takes another sip of his drink.

“Me? Why don’t we get Lorenzo to tell us his life problems instead?” You whine, but you hear Lorenzo speak up immediately.

“Leave me out of your little sob fest. Some of us actually have serotonin running through our bodies.” He shakes his head at you and Jungkook but you can see a small, smart ass smile on his face. 

“Come on, y/n.” Jungkook places his drink back down, his head resting in his hand. “You’re sad about two guys right now, right? But let’s be real, one is making you a whole lot sadder than the other.”

You narrow your eyes at Jungkook before scoffing, “I mean, I guess. But I’m sad for different reasons.”

“Different reasons?”

“Namjoon…I’m sad because I feel bad. Like shit, actually. I feel like I disappointed someone so great and I don’t want him to hurt. I messed it up.”

“And Jimin?”

“I don’t know.”

“You do.”

You roll your eyes at this, “Okay. I’m sad because he doesn’t have feelings for me.”

“And why does that make you feel sad?”

“I don’t know.”

“You do.”

You glare at Jungkook now.

He laughs a little, “Listen, I don’t think you’re a bad or selfish person, y/n, right? You’re not so conceited that you’re sad about someone not having romantic feelings for you.”

You’re quiet.

“You’re sad because that someone isn’t returning your romantic feelings for them.”

You raise a brow at Jungkook, holding in another scoff, “Who’s psychoanalyzing now?”

“You’re avoiding.” He tells you simply. “Why?”

“Why…?” You repeat his question and your hazy brain is surprisingly capable of reminding you why.

“I told you that you’re afraid of having a love again like what you had with me and you said ‘maybe’ but I think the thing you’re afraid of is me.” Jimin’s eyes bore into yours, his gaze so intense as they gloss over. “And,” He gulps. “I fucking get it. Because I,” He pauses, gaze still set on you as he tries to push down his emotions. “I am also so fucking afraid of you.”

“I’m afraid.” You tell Jungkook, eyes ahead, unfocused as you stare at nothing. 

“Afraid? That’s it? y/n…” He drags out your name, almost in the tune of song you might recognize. “I have mommy and daddy issues.” He points out with a smirk, “If I can juggle two things and still get out there then you can handle your one.”

You keep staring ahead before you start chuckling, “Lorenzo,” You call out for your old friend. “Another round of shots!”

~

Jungkook’s loud laughter is ringing in your ears but your own witch like cackle isn’t any better. Lorenzo watches the two of you as he dries more glasses from the night, laughing to himself as you and Jungkook are both unaware that he switched you guys to water over an hour ago.

“But seriously, y/n.” Jungkook tries to calm himself from laughing about…whatever it is someone said that you two found hilarious. “After everything you’ve told me about this whole Jimin thing and all your fears and insecurities…doesn’t it sound like you should just,” He pauses to burp, “Sorry, but anyway, shouldn’t you just like, go to therapy?”

“Therapy?” You slur, “You’re one to talk!” You shove his shoulder with your hand. “I’ll go to therapy if you go to therapy for the fact that your dad didn’t talk to you for two years because you didn’t want to join his company!” 

“I went to my own brain therapy!” Jungkook sings out, “I’m basically cured.”

“What the hell is brain therapy?”

“The therapy in my own brain where I talk to Dr. Jeon.” Jungkook smirks at you, “He’s a sexy doctor.”

“He sounds made up.”

“He’s me?”

“Yeah.” You give a curt nod. “A you that doesn’t exist. Are you actually a doctor?”

“Well, no.” 

“Exactly.”

“Well, at least I’m trying! What are you doing to end all of those insecurities and fears you have?!” Jungkook drunkenly shouts at you, despite being a foot away. 

“Oh my god, you guys are so drunk.” Lorenzo shakes his head. “Order a ride soon, we closed 20 minutes ago.”

“I’m trying too!” You shout back, words slurred. 

“How?!”

“I don’t know!”

“Okay, okay.” Jungkook’s hand goes to the back of your chair, “You just, listen, y/n, you just got to like, listen, okay?” 

“Yeah.” You nod.

“Okay, great, listen, okay?”

“Exactly.” You say.

“Okay, so basically, like, just listen really quick, I have the answers—”

“Yes.”

“Okay, good, listen—“

“Tell her the fucking point already, dude.” Lorenzo drags a hand down his tired face. 

“Were you not listening?” You look at Lorenzo, “He was doing that.”

“I’m just going to order the ride for you guys.” Lorenzo nods to himself as he brings his phone out.

“y/n.” Jungkook gets your attention again.

“Hm?” You lazily blink at him, your eyes glassy and far away from this world. 

“You got to just really end all of these fears of yours. They’re holding you back and for what? Why do you, why do you, why do you….”

“Jungkook.”

“Right.” Jungkook nods. “Why do you want…honestly I forgot what I was saying.”

“Me too.” You tell him. “Wait, it was about me ending my fears. And you’re right.” You sigh out, legs swinging as you pout to yourself. “I’m letting all these bad things dictate how I live myself.”

“Exactly!” Jungkook yells out, “You’re afraid and insecure and not to mention apparently in a one sided love.”

“I don’t want to remember that.”

Lorenzo laughs at this, “Don’t worry, you’re drunk enough you really might forget.”

“y/n!” Jungkook grabs you by the shoulders and his eyes bore into yours. “I know everything inside your head now.” He tells you, “And I think you just need to make him fall in love with you! But first, allow yourself to love him too!”

“You’re crazy!” You start giggling. “But also, maybe you’re right.”

“End these insecurities! End these fears! End that voice in your head discouraging you! End it all!” Jungkook cheers loudly and you start feeling hyped up thanks to him.

“You’re right!!!! I’m going to end it all!” You start cheering along with Jungkook, both of you raising your drinks in celebration.

“To ending it all!!!!”

 As soon as you take a sip of your drink, giving a satisfied ‘Ahh’ even though it’s just….water. You pull out your phone and search for Jimin’s name in your text threads. You want him to know you can overcome this fear. You will end these horrible thoughts telling you that you could never be happy again. You press ‘send’ on the text you just wrote and slide your phone in your purse, feeling more than satisfied. 

“I’m going to overcome this,” you say a bit softer, “And I’m going to have Jimin fall in love with me!”

Sober you is probably going to really question where all of this is coming from.

“That’s the spirit!” Jungkook fists pump the air before he’s turning towards Lorenzo. “But if it doesn’t work out with Jimin, hit me up. Anywho, buddy, another round of shots, please.” 

“Another? Round of…? You know what, sure.” Lorenzo nods, taking two shot glasses and filling them with water. “Here ya go.”

“Cheers!” You and Jungkook shout in unison, clinking your glasses together and downing the shots.

“Ouch,” Jungkook rubs his throat before winking at Lorenzo, “This stuff burns! You’re not giving us the cheap stuff, right?”

“Totally.” Lorenzo nods his head with a straight face. 

“Party, party!” You sing to yourself, slurring every word.

“Party, party, yeah.” Jungkook nods in agreement. 

You and Jungkook talk and laugh for another 45 minutes before Lorenzo tells you both that it’s time to go home. He escorts the both of you outside and tells you a ride will be here for you soon. You sway in your spot, shoulder bumping into Jungkook every now and then and he giggles. 

“This looks a bit better than your mental breakdown earlier.” Jungkook tells you.

“Yeah.” You agree quietly, your eyelids feeling so heavy—along with every limb on your body. “I think you really helped me sort some things out.”

“It’s okay to be sad for a little bit,” Jungkook stares ahead at the empty parking lot. “But if there’s solutions, you should take some time to try to find them.”

“Hm.”

“And y/n?”

“Yeah?”

“There’s always solutions.” Jungkook chuckles to himself, “Whether it be your sexy brain doctor that’s just you playing dress up. Which would be really hot by the way.”

“Shut up.”

“Sorry.”

“But you’re right. Thanks, Jungkook.” You squint your eyes when you see a car approaching the two of you, the headlights almost blinding.

“Let’s get you home.”

~

The driver pulls up to your apartment complex and you struggle to open your eyes but Jungkook’s insistent nudging is enough to make you groan out loud.

“What?” You whine out, “What is it?”

“Is this the right address? This is your apartment?” He gestures out the window for you to look.

“Oh, yeah.” You glance around, “I live here.” 

“Okay, I’ll walk you to your door. Come on,” Jungkook opens the door and slides out, extending his hand for you to take it so he can help you out of the car. “I’ll be back, man!” Jungkook tells the driver.

“Home sweet home.” You slur, your arm wrapping around Jungkook’s waist as you try to walk forward. “That building is mine, I live like right there.” You point, “First floor.” 

“Cool.” Jungkook’s arm goes around your shoulder. “Don’t walk too fast, you’ll trip.”

“If I trip, you’d probably fall with me.”

“Exactly.” Jungkook shudders, “I can’t injure another ankle!”

“Ouchie.” You give him your sympathy. “Almost there.”

You walk towards your building and you see your door in sight and you have never felt more elated. You’re going to sleep so fucking good. As you two get closer to your door, you start to make out two bodies coming near you and possibly the sound of your name being said over and over. 

You raise a fist to your eyes as you rub them in hopes you’ll be able to see better, vision looking a little clearer as you realize two bodies are coming towards you.

And suddenly your face is being cradled by a pair of hands you instantly recognize, the soft feeling all too familiar. 

“Jimin?” You slur, eyes opening wider as you realize Jimin is in front of you, hands on your face as he inspects you from head to toe.

“Are you okay?” He breathes out roughly, “Are you alright? y/n?”

“Am I alright?” You tear your eyes off him to look around you, Jungkook off to your side when you see he’s talking to Taehyung who looks as worried as Jimin.

“Why have you not been answering your phone? I’ve been texting and calling you like fucking crazy.” Jimin’s hands haven’t left your face. His fingers brushing your cheeks in a repetitive motion. “You’ve had me so fucking worried. Where’s your phone?”

“My phone?” You blink at him in confusion. “Uh,” You lift your purse between your bodies. “In here.” 

Jimin exhales a deep, deep breath before his forehead sticks to yours. “Tell me you’re okay.”

“I’m…I’m okay.” You try to assure him. “What’s going on?”

“Your text.” He tells you, peeling himself away from you. 

“Huh?” You bring your purse closer to you, hand digging around to find your phone. When you grab it, you click it on and see…a lot of notifications. 

Jimin 

66 unread messages

Jimin 

34 missed calls

Taehyung

23 missed calls

Hobi:))

49 missed calls

Hobi:))

114 unread messages

You click your phone off, gulping as you stare at Jimin. “What exactly happened?”

“What happened?” Jimin looks at you incredulously. “You sent this fucking message and then went MIA! I had to call Hoseok and see if he’s heard from you or knew where you were…but shit, you couldn’t have checked your phone?!”

“What message?” You tilt your head, “Jungkook, you let me drunk text?!” 

“Jungkook?” Jimin squints his eyes at you before his head turns in Jungkook and Taehyung’s direction. As if realizing for the first time that Jungkook is even here. “Why are you with Jungkook?”

Jungkook comes next to you, “Hey man.” He greets Jimin with a drunken smirk, “What’s this about a drunk text?”

“This.” Jimin holds his phone out to both of you. You and Jungkook lean in and try to read the message.

y/n 🥰  2:22am

im gonna end it all

“Damn, y/n.” Jungkook looks at you, “That’s kind of dark.”

“Huh? No, I’m clearly talking about ending all the things we said.” You tell Jungkook, “Ending my insecurities and fears and stuff. I just wanted to give Jimin the good news…”

“You told him?! Wow, proud of you.” Jungkook grins, raising his hand up for a high five which you gladly give him even though you completely missed his hand. ”Look at us, maybe we don’t need therapy after all.”

“We’re basically each other’s therapists!” You squeal excitedly, “It’s better than your imaginary doctor self, right?”

“Hmm,” Jungkook nods but he’s contemplating. “I don’t kn—”

“What the hell is going on here?” Jimin cuts you two off from more drunken conversation. “Why are you even with Jungkook?”

“Why…?” You glance between the two guys, noticing how Taehyung has come to Jimin’s side. “Because we were hanging out.”

“Why?” Jimin looks between you and Jungkook, a concern look on his face.

“Because…” You start trying to think of your answer. It is kind of crazy how you and Jungkook ended up meeting tonight and hanging out. You both spilled all of your thoughts and feelings and it honestly has felt so liberating. It’s like Jungkook was inside your head all night, he was inside your heart, just so completely inside you, knowing everything about you. “He was inside me tonight.” You say with a soft, genuine smile while everyone else chokes on their spits. 

“W-What?” Jimin coughs, “Just…what?”

“It’s like…he came inside me…and…” And he understood every thought and feeling. 

“He what inside you?!” Taehyung shouts, his jaw threatening to fall to the ground. 

“Ya heard her.” Jungkook drapes an arm over your shoulder. “We’re connected now.” He smirks at Jimin and Taehyung, his head glancing behind him quickly before he looks at Jimin and Taehyung again—then his head whipping behind him again. “Wait, shit. The driver left.”

“I can give you a ride.” Taehyung shakes his head as a smile tugs at his lips. “Jimin are you…?”

“I’ll stay with her for a while.” Jimin’s eyes are on you only, his gaze as intense and worried as 5 minutes ago “That’s okay, y/n?”

“Hm? Yeah, it’s okay.” You nod, shrugging yourself out of Jungkook’s hold as you step closer to Jimin. “I—”

“I’m going to call Hoseok, hold on.” Jimin sighs out, tapping on his screen. “He was fucking worried too, y/n. He wanted to come here to find you but I told him I’d take care of it. But I also told him I’d keep him in the loop.”

“I don’t even want to know what his texts say.” You slump your shoulders. “But I know he called me a ‘dumbass’ in at least half of them.”

Jimin just looks at you, eyes still pooled with his concern but he tries to ease his worries since he sees you in front of him now. He brings the phone to his ear and waits for Hoseok to answer and on the third ring, he does.

“Hey. Yeah, she’s here. Yup, drunk off her ass.” Jimin’s eyes slide over to you again, “I know. Apparently it was a misunderstanding…I don’t really know. Yeah, yeah. Okay, I’ll tell her. Right now?” Jimin exhales a deep sigh, “Okay.” He nods before lowering the phone to his shoulder as he directs his words towards you now. “y/n.”

“Yeah?”

“Hoseok told me to tell you…”

“What?”

“That you’re a dumbass.” Jimin says with a straight face before bringing the phone back to his ear. “Yeah, I told her. She uh, kind of just nodded like she’s aware. Mhm. Okay, I’ll talk to you later man. Thanks. Yeah, thanks. See ya.”

“Well, I guess we’re going to head out then.” Taehyung says before coming towards you, scooping you up in his arms and squeezing you to his body. “Don’t worry us anymore, okay?”

“Sorry, sorry.” You mumble in his chest. Taehyung releases you and pouts. 

“If anything bad happens to you, you realize me and Jimin would physically feel it, right?”

“Huh?”

“Yeah, since we’re soulmates.” Taehyung says matter of fact. “Like, I’m pretty sure if you hurt your wrist, my own wrist would also start hurting.”

“I forgot how fucking weird Taehyung is about the three of you.” Jungkook stares at his friend with wide eyes. “Let’s go, dude. I need fast food before sleeping.” 

“Alright, alright.” Taehyung grins but then his expression grows soft as he leans into your ear, “And when your heart hurts, mine also hurts. Same goes for Jimin. Let’s be happier, okay?” 

Taehyung leans away from you and you feel your eyes water immediately and you drunkenly pout at him, “Taehyung.” You cry out dramatically. 

“y/n!” Taehyung dramatically calls out your name as well before crushing your body again with another hug. 

Jimin smiles a little at the interaction before trying to shoo his friends away.

“Bye guys!” Jungkook sings out, “Bye bye y/n!”

“Bye!”

~

You and Jimin sit on your couch, laying back on it as your eyelids feel so heavy again. Your entire body is ready to enter rest mode for at least a solid 15 hours. You’d fall asleep right here but you can feel Jimin’s worried eyes on you, his entire tense body is creating enough concern.

“Relax, would you?” You mumble quietly. “I can feel how on edge you are and its making it harder for me to fall asleep.”

“Sorry.” Jimin sighs, “I’ve just been…stressed.”

You lazily turn your head, cheek pushing up against the couch cushion as you crack open an eye to look at Jimin. He’s struggling to find a breath before he tries to give in, his back finally hitting the cushion. 

“Stressed?”

“Yeah.” His head tilts back and his eyes find the ceiling. “I was scared. How was I supposed to make sense of your text? Words like that aren’t that hard to decipher, right?”

“Jimin, when have I ever said anything to make you think—”

“I don’t know.” He slowly shuts his eyes. “Maybe my mind just assumed the worst and I just keep thinking about a possibility of losing you and…” He stops. 

“I’m here.” You drunkenly reach out towards him, your fingers brushing against his arm and he feels his heart starting to beat faster and faster. 

Jimin’s eyes open again and his head turns towards you. Eyes meetings yours and you swear if you weren’t ready to admit you might be in love with this man a few hours ago then you sure as hell would be ready to admit it right now. His heart is in his eyes. 

“Always be here.” He whispers. “I can’t lose you.” 

There’s a slight tremble in his voice as he does nothing to hide his own fears. Voice dripping in something pained and something vulnerable. 

“You won’t.” You assure him. Your heart feels weaker because you are 100% sure that at the end of his words, ‘I can’t lose you.’ There was a silent ‘too.’ 

Jimin keeps his eyes on you as he takes a deep breath, “I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have acted like that…I just…do what makes you happy. I’ll be happy as long as you are.”

You stare at him and you feel him. You feel his heart. And you’re so stuck. He cares about you and you’ll just have to be satisfied with that. Have you been a fool this entire time? A fool to think you wouldn’t be here again, staring in the eyes of the man you once wholeheartedly gave yourself to? That you wouldn’t be here…so willing to do that again. Maybe it’s just about time—maybe he needs time. Time to fall in love. Or you’re just drunk and getting ahead of yourself all over again.

“It’s okay.” You tell him, “We’re okay.” 

~

Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god. Who the hell is calling you at this hour? It’s way too fucking early to be receiving some ungodly phone call at some ungodly hour. You’re rolling around in your bed, sheets and blanket getting all tangled up as your hands roam the mattress beneath you. You finally feel the coldness of your cellphone, fingers grasping it before you hold it in front of your face, eyes squinting ridiculously as you see who the hell is calling.

Hoseok.

“What?” You grumble.

“Wakey, wakey!” Your best friend sings out, “It’s like 3pm so I think it’s time we get our lives together!” 

“It’s too early.”

“It’s never too early for me to scold you!” He continues to sing, “So, on that note.” He suddenly gets serious. “What the fuck were you thinking?! ‘I’m gonna end it all!’ Like, dude, let’s be serious real quick—”

“It made sense to me!” 

“In what world does that sound anything but—”

“I was…Listen, it was a whole conversation and I think I made majority of it in my head and only texted out the part I thought was most important…”

“y/n,” Hoseok releases a deep breath, “You scared Jimin shitless. Even me! I wasn’t too worried but then you weren’t answering.”

“I was so drunk, Hobi. I didn’t feel my phone at all!”

“Pretty sure you took like 10 years off Jimin’s life.”

“Shit…” You roll on to your side, cuddling with your pillow. “I feel bad, really. Last night was a journey for everyone.”

“Where did you go anyway?”

“Lorenzo’s bar.”

“Ew.”

“Anyway, I was there��sulking. And suddenly, Jungkook, from college was there!”

“I have no idea who that is.”

“…..Girlfriend stealer Jungkook.”

“Oh, the hot guy?”

“Yes, him. Anyway, we ended up just venting about our lives and got super drunk and then he was totally hyping me up about Jimin and—“

“Hyping what up?”

“Oh. Right. Okay. I should probably fill you in on some—wait, how did things go with Dae?!”

“Don’t change the…okay, hold on, because it’s actually a pretty big deal.” Hoseok tells you and you can hear the sudden giddiness in his voice. “We talked. And talked.”

“And?”

“And kissed. And kissed.”

“…And…?”

“And fucked. And fuck—”

“Okay.” You laugh, “So things went well?” “Way better than I thought it would. I was nervous as hell but once I kind of just tried explaining myself she was so fucking cool. Really understanding and I don’t know, she just…we just click, I guess.”

“That’s…” You feel yourself beginning to grin, you heart leaping in joy. “Hobi, I’m happy. That’s great. So what does this mean?”

“We’re going on a date today.” He tells you, giddiness still evident. “Her and Taehyung are leaving at like 8 tonight so I got until then. She’s actually in the bathroom getting ready.”

“How’s Taehyung taking it?”

“I talked to him on the phone before I called you to let him know and…well, he went on a whole speech about how we’re already brothers for life but now we’re brothers for real. I tried explaining Dae and I aren’t getting married but then he started shouting into the phone about how I should already be thinking about that if it’s with Dae…anyway, Dae hung up on him for me.”

You start giggling at this, “Classic Taehyung.”

“Anyway, so what’s this Jungkook guy hyping up?”

“Oh. It’s—shit,” You bring your phone to your face again when you see another incoming call. “Naomi is calling me. She’s supposed to come over today and fill me in on everything.”

“Oh yeah, Jeremy has been blowing up my phone.”

“It’s crazy, right? Everyone says it was so obvious?!”

“How the fuck was that obvious?! Next they’re going to say we’re going to hook up.”

“Please think before you speak.” You shudder.

“You’re right, saying that triggered my gag reflex.”

“Anyway, I’ll call you later or something. Let me answer this!”

“Okay, okay. Bye!”

“Hello?” You say as soon as you answer Naomi’s call, “What’s up?”

“Hey! I just got home so I could drop off Bacon but if you’re down I could come over now?” Naomi says on the other line, “I could be there in like 10.”

“Oh shit.” You mumble, trying your best to sit up in bed. “Okay sure but just know I’m hungover as hell.”

“Damn…” Naomi chuckles, “Rough night?”

“We can fill each other in when you get here.” You tell her before you’re both saying bye and hanging up. You throw yourself back onto the mattress, head feeling heavy and room not exactly still. Well, you’re not drinking again for at least a month.

After washing up and changing into some clean clothes, you make your way into your kitchen to make some tea. Your eyes land on a small pile of dishes in your sink and you groan. You’ll do them later. You plant yourself in one of the chairs at your kitchen island and start scrolling through your phone to get a look at all the unread messages from last night. There’s a lot but some stick out more than others. 

Jimin 2:36am

Please answer your phone y/n

Jimin 2:38am

Youre really driving me crazy please just look at your phone

Jimin 2:41am

Babe please

Taehyung 2:44am

My soulmate senses are tingling 

Taehyung 2:44am

Hey where are you

Taehyung 2:45am

Me and jimin are worried please call us back love you

Hobi:)) 2:50am

What the fuck y/n

Hobi:)) 2:50am

Is this just you being dramatic or should I actually be worried

Hobi:)) 3:01am

Answer me you dumbass 

There’s about a hundred more from Hoseok that are just yelling at you and then some are just texts with exclamation points, some texts are just him saying he loves you but mostly it’s a lot of yelling. You click your phone off and sigh to yourself, feeling bad about causing such a dramatic misunderstanding. It made sense to you at the time even though it’s all a little blurry—oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. 

Suddenly, you’re remembering more from last night and all your drunken venting and drunken confessions. You aren’t 100% sure but you think you gave Jungkook the impression that you are in love with Jimin. You’re starting to think that you gave yourself the impression you are in love with Jimin. 

You sit here, mind replaying different pieces of conversation and—

“Jungkook, seriously.” You slur, trying not to laugh at his silly faces. “Be serious!” You hit his shoulder and he relaxes, giving you his full attention again. “I really did like Namjoon, I swear.”

“But he’s not Jimin, right?” Jungkook smirks at you, “Come on, y/n. You guys were so in love back in the day.”

“But it’s not back in the day.” You frown now, “But that’s a good thing. We’ve grown up a lot and experienced new things and well, I don’t know.”

“Okay, so you liked Namjoon but….but what?”

“I don’t know. When I look at Jimin it takes everything in me to not just…” You look at Jungkook intensely with big, wonderous eyes as you clutch your chest. “He’s just so…” 

“Damn.” Jungkook shakes his head, trying not to laugh at your dramatics. “I don’t think you were even this whipped back then.”

“I’m…I’m not…” You quickly bring your hands back down to your lap. “He just feels so special, maybe.” You spin in your barstool to face the bar top again. “He’s my person.” Your voice is quieter and Jungkook gazes at you with soft eyes. He watches you sulk but he’s pretty sure he’s remembering Jimin saying something similar to this when he saw him last.

“Just admit you’re in love with him already.” Jungkook scoffs with a grin growing on his face. “That’s phase 1…after that, we can commence with phase 2.”

“W-What’s phase 2?”

“Leave that to the big boys.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing. Anyway, if things don’t work out with you guys, we can just get married. My parents are loaded, aren’t you ready to marry into a rich fam—”

“Jungkook.”

“Sorry.”

Your lips lift into a smile as you roll your eyes at Jungkook’s words but your heart does feel a pinch or maybe a tingle at the rest of the conversation you’re remembering. Wow, drunk you was so shameless last night. Shameless or just facing the truth and being honest about it? Your brain starts sorting through several different moments you’ve had with Jimin since he came back home. You’d be ridiculously stupid to deny that you love him. Of course you do. But being in love is different and so much more dangerous. Especially with him. Because he’s the most dangerous of them all. 

But if someone is that dangerous for your heart it means something, doesn’t it? If you can easily admit Jimin is the one who could cause you the most pain—again—it’s because he’s also the one who causes you to be…shit. You rest your head against the cold granite countertop and shut your eyes. You’re going to enjoy these last 5 seconds of ignorance. 5…4…3…2…1. 

You’re in love with Jimin. Again.

You lift your head again, eyes opening and staring ahead at the dirty dishes in your sink. Well, those 5 seconds were nice but now you live in a world where you are aware of your feelings. The same world where you have to clean dishes—the dirty dishes existed in your previous world too—the world where you weren’t hyperaware of your feelings. But this doesn’t mean they didn’t exist. Just like the dirty ass dishes.

Your body jumps a little at the sound of knocking on your front door…Naomi is here, you think. “It’s open!” You yell out as loud as you can, “Open!!!!”

Your head twists in the direction of the door, eyes wide as you wait for it to open but much to your annoyance…nothing. “I said it’s open…” You mumble to yourself before sliding off the barstool and going towards the door. You look through the peep hole and see Naomi standing on the other side, totally oblivious to your yelling. 

“Hi.” You greet Naomi flatly, “Welcome.” You open the door wide so she can step through but before she does she looks you over and nods her head enthusiastically.

“At least we both look like shit.” She sings out, walking inside your apartment. “I’m not saying I’m happy you look so totally and miserably hungover but I’ll admit it makes me feel a little better.”

“Hold on.” You tilt your head in confusion, eyes raking over her body. Her curls are perfect as always, her nails look like they just got done and her overall outfit almost looks Sunday brunch worthy. “This is you looking like shit?” 

“Dude,” Naomi gestures towards herself and then her hand gently lifts up the bottom of her blouse, exposing her jeans. “They aren’t even buttoned.” 

“Damn…” You finally shut the door and nod in understanding, “We really are going through it.”

Naomi exhales slowly, her eyes landing on you and a sudden softness enters them. “Seems we have a lot to catch each other up on, huh?”

“Seems like it.” You laugh a little before going towards your living room, body flopping onto your couch, quick hands pulling the designated couch blanket over yourself. “You go first though because my shit has unraveled like scenes in a predictable movie. You on the other hand…” 

“God, I’m probably not any better.” Naomi sits next to you, her own fingers tugging on the blanket as she urges you to share it with her. “Who knew clichés were this powerful?” 

“Guess they’re cliches for a reason.” You shrug, “So?”

“Right.” Naomi leans back onto the sofa, her eyes finding the ceiling and you watch her as she thinks. Funny how all your guests seem to take comfort in your ceiling. “Okay…I honestly don’t even know where to begin.” 

“Well, I already know the ending. What if you work backwards?” 

“Okay…” She starts nibbling on her plump lips, her lipstick beginning to disappear. “Me and Jeremy…god!” She suddenly starts chuckling to herself before throwing her face in her hands. “Why can’t I even say it?! I feel so embarrassed!”

“Well, it is Jeremy.” You joke but then quickly pretend to zip your lips closed when Naomi glares at you, “Sorry.”

“Listen, I know this is—this is weird. I know that.” Naomi takes her eyes off you and they go back to the ceiling. “Jeremy is our friend and the four of us…me, you, Hoseok and Jer…we’re…friends. I feel like this stupid thing me and Jeremy did might ruin the group.”

“Stupid thing?” You lean back onto the sofa, head digging deeper into the cushion. “According to everyone this was an expected thing.” 

“Expected or not…it was still stupid.” She murmurs, “I don’t want anything to change between us or anyone or—”

“Change isn’t bad.” You tell her,  your own eyes going to the ceiling now too, the place with all the answers. “I’m curious how it happened though…had this been building? Or was it out of the blue? Or—”

“Both?” Naomi sighs out, “It was out of the blue…but it also somehow felt like I was saying ‘finally’ the entire time…” 

“Oh.” You glance at your friend,  suddenly more worried than before. “You guys…you actually…oh.”

“He came over after his date and he was telling me all these exciting things about it…you know how he gets.” She says and you nod. “And I asked him why he didn’t actually look excited and then I asked why he was at my place if it went so well…”

“And?”

“He didn’t really have an answer for either.” Naomi tells you. You think you can understand why he didn’t—it’s because he did…have an answer, that is. “I let it be but it felt like after that things just changed.” She looks down now, eyes on her hands as her fingers play with the rings that are just loose enough. “He kissed me out of nowhere.”

“Bold.” You comment more to yourself.

“And he pulled away from me like he just made the biggest mistake of his life!” She pouts, “I felt so…I don’t know. But…we just kind of stared at each other and he kissed me again. And imagine my surprise when I was kissing him back. I was confused! Like, why the hell am I making out with Jeremy?!” She shakes her head dramatically, her curls bouncing on her shoulders and you can’t help but laugh at this. “But I was hit with even more confusion and also like,” She bites down onto her bottom lip as she searches for the right words. “Like…relief? Like kissing him felt confusing and also relieving? And that’s when the word ‘finally’ kept repeating in my mind!” 

“Damn.” 

“And we totally slept together.” She slumps her shoulders, “And it was good. Really good. But after…you know…we just got really awkward. So I made a joke about how we’re friends and he just kept it going! Friends this, friends that. And it went so far that we ended up steering away from everything and making it a point that we’re only friends even though I’m 100% sure I have a thing for him.”

“You realized that after sleeping with him?”

“No, I realized that on Friday when all I could think about was how I’m into the cringey things he does.”

“Ah.” Your mouth falls open as you realize. “The poetry.”

“It’s truly horrific and somehow I want him to share only that kind of thing with me.” She says with a straight face. “Gross, right?” 

You laugh at this, wondering how you and Hoseok have been so dumb about this but apparently Naomi and Jeremy are also dumb about this. When it doesn’t have to be dumb at all. 

“You know, talking to him could—”

“I think we both have silently agreed that staying friends is for the best.” 

“Silently?” You give her a pointed look, “It’s not a real agreement if it’s silent.”

“It’s just bad timing! I have reservations for Wednesday and it’s not like he’s not going to come…”

“Wednesday?” You squint your eyes at her before they comically expand, “Oh my god, your birthday dinner.” 

“Yup.” She responds dully, “He’s going to show up because we’re friends but…well, I don’t know why I’m saying ‘but’…if he didn’t show up, I’d be pissed.” She laughs now. “It’s just a weird situation that I’m hoping we will get over quickly. Plus, I’m sure he’s put together that I like him and he’s given me no indicator if he feels the same…so.”

“Aren’t you ignoring him?”

“He’s sent like a hundred texts and most are talking about the importance of our friendship.”

“Oh.”

“Anyway, give me your story now. You and Jimin, huh? Not surprised but with the whole Namjoon thing…so?”

~~~

Monday morning and you’re wondering if you’re still dealing with a hangover. Or maybe this headache is stress induced. Well, either one works, you suppose. You just made it inside your office, stopping for a cup of tea before settling at your desk. You see Hoseok, Naomi and Jeremy are already here. Naomi greets you with a small smile before she faces her computer screen again and Jeremy gives a noncommittal wave. Your best friend, who sits right next to you, hasn’t even acknowledged you yet. 

“What’s so important on your phone that you can’t even say hi to me?” You plop onto the office chair before turning everything on. Hoseok just continues to look at his phone, an undeniably giddy smile on his face. “Hm?”

“Oh, nothing.” He sings out, “Just that Dae just called me handsome and her boyfriend in the same text.” He says before holding his phone out to you. You narrow your eyes and read her message and it’s true, her text says, ‘how’s my handsome boyfriends morning so far?’ and you can’t help but grin and roll your eyes. 

“Boyfriend? The date went that well? You guys move fast.”

“I get some people like to take things slow and that’s cool but both of us know what we want so why prolong that? So yes, your best friend here is a taken man.” Hoseok brings his phone back to his lap, eyes on his screen as he smiles down at it. Then it drops so suddenly before he’s whipping his head up at you. “Shit. I forgot you’re sad.”

You snort at this, heading shaking. “Well, at least you’re honest.”

“I won’t rub my happiness in your face, I—”

“Nah,” Your face glows from the monitor finally turning on. “I will gladly let you rub it in my face.”

“Ew, what are you letting Hoseok rub in your face?” Jeremy suddenly blurts, teasing in his voice as you find an eraser to throw at him.

“Seriously though, Hobi. This is great and you shouldn’t have to feel like you got to hold back when you’re this excited just because my own love life sucks.” 

Hoseok studies you for a moment before he gives you a look of appreciation, “Thanks.” He smiles at you, “Also, we have a meeting in like 30 minutes. Got pinged like 10 minutes before you walked in.”

“A meeting?” You groan, clicking the computer mouse as you go to check your e-mails. “It better not last more than 5 minutes…I have so much to do today.”

“It’s just to meet our new temp boss.” Hoseok tells you, “Probably won’t last long.”

“Shit, I forgot about that.”

“Maybe this one won’t want to fuck you!” Hoseok cackles to himself and Naomi and Jeremy join but then they quickly make eye contact and stop laughing. You guess they’re still being weird.

~

The four of you sit in the meeting room, you and Hoseok in the middle with Naomi and Jeremy on either side of you. Awkwardness continues. The room starts filling up one by one as everyone talks amongst themselves as they wonder about Mr. Lincoln’s nephew. You grow bored waiting, clicking your pen in and out before the room finally goes quiet when someone walks in.

“Good morning, everyone.” A confident voice fills the room and you look up to get a look at the new guy who will be bossing you around. Your fingers quickly stop fidgeting with the pen when it falls to the table, loud clinking echoes in the room and everyone’s eyes go to you. 

“J-Jungkook?” You blink up at the guy standing front and center. His face looks as surprised as you’re feeling. He looks so different than what you’re used to…his tattooed arm completely covered by the long sleeves of his dark blue suit, his hair pushed back and there’s a strong, established energy clinging to him. 

“y/n?” His mouth falls open, doe eyes wide and set on you before he’s quickly clearing his throat and offering a gentle smile. “It’s nice to see you but…” He glances around the room before smirking at you. “At work, please call me Mr. Jeon.” You’re about to snort at this but he moves on from you to properly introduce himself to everyone else and you realize he was…serious.

“Jungkook?” Hoseok leans in, whispering to you, “Like…girlfriend stealer Jungkook?”

“Dude…he’s so hot…” Naomi leans in your other side, “This is the guy from Saturday?”

“Yes,” You lean into Hoseok before swaying to your other side and leaning into Naomi, “And yes.”

You cannot believe this…Mr. Lincoln’s wife’s nephew is…Jungkook? Well, Jungkook did tell you he recently took an offer elsewhere to get a break from his parent’s company…

~

After the initial shock of your new boss being an old college friend who used to give you pot brownies, you’ve gotten comfortable at your desk, working your ass off to finish a report in time. It’s not even lunch time yet but you can already feel the pained discomfort growing between your shoulders, realizing you desperately need a break—or massage. 

“Hey.” You hear a voice from behind you, a voice you know. You swivel around in your chair and see Jungkook standing here, serious look on his face as he hands you a packet of papers. “Mind if I go over something with you?” He glances down at the papers he just gave you. You knew he would eventually come find you…you thought to chat but looks like it’s about…work.

“Sure.” You tell him and he relaxes his shoulders before pointing at the packet.

“Page 4.” He says calmly, “There’s a mistake in your report. You got some of the information wrong…it’s not a huge deal but with eyes on us in this term it’s just best if we find even the smallest of mistakes. It doesn’t reflect on just you but our entire time and we don’t want that. Can you have it revised before lunch?” 

“Sure, I guess—”

“Thanks, y/n.” Jungkook straightens his back, “Other than that, really good work.” He nods at you before heading off to his office. You stare at the now empty space where he was just standing, truly wondering who the hell this guy is. Jungkook? There’s no way…this is like his long lost twin or something.

“He’s so…different than what you described.” Hoseok rolls his chair closer to your desk, “Not what I imagined at all.”

“Me either.” Naomi walks towards you both, hands cupping a mug. “He’s like so…” She waves her hands around, assuming you’re understanding what she’s saying.

“Dude, same.  But maybe he’s just really serious about work?” You wonder more to yourself, “He’s under some serious pressure so I guess it makes sense.” You say before groaning when you look down at a past report. “Well, looks like I’m working through lunch.” You glance at the current report on your screen that isn’t even half way complete. “Will you bring me something back?” You say to Hoseok and he agrees.

With the work day finally winding down, you grin in satisfaction; you completed what you were working on plus revised the report Jungkook brought to you. You feel accomplished and to be honest, the productivity was nice…focused on something other than your life’s woes. You stand from your chair, packet in hand when you’re heading towards Mr. Lincoln’s office—well, Jungkook’s temporary office. You knock on the glass door and wait for permission to enter. You hear Jungkook’s voice call out for you to go inside. 

“Hi, Jung—Mr. Jeon.” You crack a tight smile as you slip into his office. “I have the revisions done—”

“—Dude!” Jungkook ushers you to close the door behind you and when you do he does nothing but grin at you, “How crazy is this?! This is seriously, wow.”

“Wow is one way to put it.” You chuckle, dropping the packet to his desk. “You take your job seriously, huh?”

“Well, yeah. In this world…” He chews on his lips, hand brushing through his hair. “I have to be. No room for error and—”

“I get it.” You assure him, “I’ll try not to make anymore mistakes.” You joke and he only continues to grin at you.

“Good, because who knows what I’d have to do with you.” He sits down at his desk, cheeky smile on his face. “I’d be nice though, since we’re connected and I’ve been inside you.”

The sudden coughing thanks to choking on your spit does look a little dramatic but it only makes Jungkook grin harder. “Excuse me?” 

“What? That’s all according to you.” He tells you simply. “So, how was the rest of your night? Are you and Jimin madly in love now?”

“What?” You whisper shout, “No!” 

“Weird.” He mumbles, “I guess phase two will really be set in motion…”

“What?”

“Nothing,”

“Anyway, uh, so actually Wednesday is Naomi’s birthday and we’re going to a nice place for dinner and uh, you’re invited. Naomi says it’s cool. You don’t have to but you know, we’re technically friends and Jimin would be there too…”

“I’m there.” He smirks as he throws you some finger guns and then his face grows serious when his phone starts ringing. “Duty calls but good work today, thanks again. Go home and rest and see you tomorrow!” He quickly waves you off before answering the phone. “Jeon.” He says into the phone before smiling at you as you wave him goodbye.

~~~

Tuesday and it was another long day at work. The pain between your shoulders is driving you crazy and you really wish some expert hands were rolling out all the knots. It’s late, around 10 when you reach for your phone and find Jimin’s name.

y/n 9:44pm

hey just reminding you about naomis birthday dinner tmrw at 7

Jimin 9:44pm

I know

Jimin 9:45pm

Is Namjoon going too?

You read his second text and can’t help but dig your teeth into your bottom lip…he doesn’t know about Namjoon yet. And you don’t really feel like sharing it at the moment…who could blame you? Double rejection just isn’t a great look.

y/n 9:47pm

nope

Jimin 9:47pm

Am I supposed to bring a gift?

y/n 9:48pm

lol no I think its ok

~

Naomi’s birthday and this is getting ridiculous. Naomi and Jeremy barely spoke yesterday either but today Jeremy told Naomi ‘Happy Birthday’ and she only replied with a bland, ‘Thanks friend.’ And he dryly responded with, ‘What are friends for?’ and they’ve been back to ignoring each other. You and Hoseok give one another knowing looks before deciding today might not be the day to interfere. 

Jungkook—or Mr. Jeon as he has reminded you and your friends to call him—is as professional as always. He walks around the office, looking over many shoulders and you can tell people feel nervous but he’s kind when he points something out, he’s actually helpful unlike Mr. Lincoln. 

It’s funny…he told you how much he dreaded all of this, how he wanted nothing to do with this lifestyle and tried so hard to escape this path (a path his parent’s created) but he looks so confident and really looks like he’s in his element. You wonder how he feels. 

“Mr. Jeon is going to scold me.” Jeremy whines at his desk, “I’ve literally got almost nothing done today…” His eyes look distant as they slowly dance across the office and they land on Naomi. “Today sucks.” 

“Mr. Jeon is going to praise me!” Hoseok cheers much to everyone else’s annoyance, “I finished up plus I ended up doing some extra tasks. He said he would pay me over time!” 

“Good for you.” You gaze at your own screen, completely unimpressed with your own work. “Must be nice to be so perfect.”

“It is nice.” Hoseok sticks his tongue out at you before he’s straightening himself, “Oh hey, Mr. Jeon!”

You lift your head higher to see Jungkook standing to your side, “Hey. Mind helping Myra with some document conversion? Apparently you’re the pro.”

“Yes, boss.” You salute him before standing and he hands you a sticky note that you take. “What’s this?” You say glancing down, eyes reading Jungkook’s messy handwriting. ‘Can’t wait to fucking party tonight!!!!!’ you can’t help but chuckle at this, realizing you should probably tell him it’s just a nice, simple dinner. 

~

The restaurant Naomi chose is the same as last year, a nice enough place that offers insta worthy birthday photos and food that actually has decent portions. You get here the same time as Hoseok, both of you walking inside to find the table that Naomi is already sitting at—miserably, might you add. You’re about to approach her when you feel your entire heart start to dance wildly in your chest. Jimin walks closer, looks like he’s coming back from the bathrooms, when he spots you and smiles. He’s got his hair out of his forehead and an outfit that makes you feel suffocated. These pants and this jacket…they’re doing wonders on—and suddenly you’re having to snap your head up to meet his eyes because you were totally checking him out.

“Hey.” Jimin’s arms extend out and he surprises you with a tight hug. Maybe it’s just a surprise because you’re still processing your weekend. “You look nice.” He tells you as he pulls away, “New shirt?” 

“Not really.” You glance down, knowing damn well it is new. 

“So,” Jimin looks at you, eyes on yours and you can’t help but tear your gaze away from him…you suddenly feel nervous. “How are—”

“Yooooooooo.” You can hear Jungkook’s voice from behind you. You quickly turn around and greet your boss.

“Hey, Mr. Jeon.” You say as you take in his appearance. Unstyled hair falling in his eyes, loose pants and short sleeve shirt that exposes his tattoos. You forgot this is what he usually looks like. Feels weird to call him Mr. Jeon now.

“Mr. Jeon?” You hear Jimin, his shoes clicking on the tiled floor when he walks closer, coming next to you. “Uh?” He glances between you both, clearly wondering why you’re greeting Jungkook this way.

“Oh.” You realize immediately. “He’s my boss.” You gesture towards Jungkook who just throws up a peace sign and grins.

“The y/n I used to know was so hard to boss around but now she follows every order.” Jungkook winks at Jimin who is looking more lost. Clearly not taking this seriously.

“How did you agree to call him that?” Jimin raises a brow, his question directing at you.

“It’s because—”

“Hey Mr. Jeon!” Hoseok comes towards you all, “Wow, you look…” He motions towards Jungkook’s body and Jungkook only throws up another peace sign.

“You too, Hoseok?” Jimin blinks in confusion. “What kind of game—”

“Wow, Mr. Jeon…” Naomi comes now too, “I was not expecting all of…this.” She checks him out fully and Jungkook just…does another peace sign.

“Naomi too?!” Jimin’s mouth is permanently parted as he looks at all of you in disbelief. “Why—”

“Mr. Jeon’s here too?” Jeremy makes his way towards you guys, last one to show up. 

“JEREMY TOO?!” Jimin blinks at all of you, “Jungkook? Why—”

“He’s our boss.” Hoseok chuckles when he realizes Jimin is genuinely confused. “His uncle is our usual guy but he’s on leave for a few months so we got him.” He points at Jungkook who throws up two peace signs now. “It’s not some weird thing y/n is doing on her own.” He continues to laugh and Jimin relaxes a little. 

“Anyway, guys.” Jungkook finds a seat at the table. “Mr. Jeon is dead after work hours. Only Jungkook exists now. Don’t even think about talking about work because I will revive your dead boss—Mr. Jeon—and fire you. That or make you get drunk as fuck and you’ll have to deal with a hangover at work during our 8 am meeting.” 

“You’re evil.” You laugh, taking your own seat as everyone gets settled at the table. 

“That is evil.” Jeremy shudders before suddenly nodding in approval, “But somehow I respect it.”

“Thanks, dude. Should we take a shot to get this birthday dinner started?” Jungkook starts perusing the drink menu, “It’ll be on me.”

“He’s rich.” You quickly explain to the rest of your friends.

“Wow, you couldn’t have said ‘he’s generous’ instead?” Jungkook leans into your side, “Both are right so I guess it doesn’t matter.” Then Jungkook directs his words towards everyone else, “She’s really into the whole ‘rich’ thing, huh? I already told her I would marry her!” 

Jimin chokes on nothing when he hears this, his expression growing more annoyed. God, this is exactly how he acted years ago! Jimin didn’t call him a ‘girlfriend stealer’ for nothing. 

“Shut up. He’s also cheeky as hell.” You giggle, “Jungkook, we aren’t here to party. It’s a dinner!”

“No, no.” Jeremy starts looking at the drink menu as well. “Mr. Jeon has got a point. Let’s take shots.” 

“He’s dead!” Jungkook cries out dramatically, “Only Jungkook lives!”

“Oh, right.” Jeremy nods. “Jungkook.”

“Looks like it’s just you two.” You glance around the table…no one else seems interested in drinking.

“Cool.” Jungkook and Jeremy say in unison with a shrug to their shoulders. Jimin is on your left side and he’s quieter than it makes you comfortable. You catch his eyes on you every now and then but it feels strange. But this could just be you overthinking your recently rejected state. 

It’s around 9pm when Jeremy and Jungkook are throwing back another shot and talking about which super powers they would choose. Naomi is telling you about how her sister is still trying to convince her to work remote and visit her in Mexico City where she’s currently living for work. 

Jungkook stops talking to Jeremy to sip more of his water before he’s throwing an arm over you, “Ah, this was us just a few days ago, y/n. We really bonded, you know?” He winks at you before finding Jimin’s eye and offering a coy smile. “We just really get each other.” He says more to Jimin who just sips his own drink.

“Cool.” Jimin mutters before his eyes go to Jungkook’s phone that vibrates on the table. “You going to get that?”

“Oh.” Jungkook looks down and smiles in excitement. “It’s Taehyung.” He reaches for the phone and speaks into it, “Hey. Yeah. No worries, dude. I got this. Operation is in the works.” Then he looks over at you and Jimin, “Mhm. You’ll see, you’ll see. Kay, bye.”

“What operation?” You quirk a brow at Jungkook and he ignores you.

“He says hi!” Jungkook turns back to Jeremy, “Anyway, here me out…what if teleportation isn’t just through spaces but also through time? Imagine—”

“You guys seem close.” Jimin picks up his water again, “Didn’t know one drunken night made you guys the best of friends.”

“Well, I also see him at work now.” You grab your phone to check the time, “But I wouldn’t say we’re close?”

“Right.”

“Should we give our gifts now?” Hoseok shouts over the table excitedly. 

“I’ll go first!” Jeremy slurs a little but Naomi shifts uncomfortably in her seat, “Here.” He hands her a small box and although she looks hesitant, she takes it. “Open it!” 

“No, it’s okay.” She avoids Jeremy’s gaze, “I’ll wait for later.”

And you’ve never seen Jeremy look more offended.

~

Thursday 8am meetings are no joke. You’re tired even if you slept a decent amount…early is early. You set your bag down on your desk and you see Jungkook enter through, Jeremy’s eyes light up, excited to see his new friend.

“Sup JK!” Jeremy goes for a high five as Jungkook walks past him, completely avoiding Jeremy’s hand.

“We’re at work, Jeremy.”

Jeremy cracks a smile before high fiving his own hand, “Right.” But then his smile completely fades when Naomi walks in and they go back to ignoring each other. 

Before you left for lunch today, Jungkook asked you if you wanted to get some ice cream after work and you had no real reason to say no…so here you are with casual Jungkook at an ice cream place just a block from the office. 

“It’s a candid photo!” Jungkook tells you when you try to tell him to delete the picture he just took of you. “It’s cute!”

“Gross.” You roll your eyes, “Who are you sending it to anyway? Taehyung?”

Jungkook looks up from his phone, his big eyes looking innocent before he shows you his phone’s screen. An Instagram post. ‘I scream, you scream, we all scream at how cute y/n is.’

“What?” You look up at him, confused. “Why?”

“Just trust me. Plus, what’s the harm in posting my friend…” Jungkook smiles to himself, looking devious as the ‘likes’ start flooding in. 

~

It’s Friday night when you receive an interesting text from Jimin. An entire screenshot of Jungkook’s recent Instagram post with the caption, ‘is this really okay since he’s your boss?’

y/n 11:01pm

why wouldn’t it be

Jimin 11:02pm

Idk

Jimin 11:02pm

Not sure Namjoon would be okay with that? He’s a chill guy but even he has his limits, im sure

Jimin 11:02pm 

But maybe it isn’t my business, sorry

y/n 11:05pm

Namjoon wouldn’t even see it since he doesn’t know Jungkook 

y/n 11:05pm

but also it wouldn’t matter its not like were together

Jimin 11:08pm

?? you still haven’t talked to him?

y/n 11:09pm

we talked.

y/n 11:10pm

we ended things 

Jimin 11:11pm

Wait wait

Jimin 11:12pm

Wait what

Jimin 11:12pm

Ending things? You aren’t with him? You guys aren’t…? 

y/n 11:12pm

nope

Jimin 11:15pm

Why didn’t you tell me??

y/n 11:15pm

maybe its embarrassing lol

Jimin 11:16pm

How is that embarrassing?? You should have told me…this…we’re all meeting up at hoseoks tmrw right? 

y/n 11:20pm

yeah

Jimin 11:24pm

Good…I really gotta talk to you

~~~

Jimin is feeling nervous. So nervous that he even got to Hoseok’s place way before the meeting time. It mostly worked out since Taehyung and Dae just got here too, Dae is already in Hoseok’s arms, teasing him about not kissing her in front of Taehyung. And there’s Taehyung pretending to worship Hoseok for saving his poor eyes from seeing that. 

Dae laughs before giving bad news, “Movie nights are cool but I really hate to break it to you guys but Taehyung does not shut up during a mov—” “—It’s only if the movie sucks!” Taehyung pouts.

“No, if it sucks, you usually just fall asleep!” 

“Wait, I talk during movies too. y/n hates it.” Hoseok chimes in with a nervous smile. 

“Great.” Dae deadpans, “My whole life I had to deal with Taehyung’s annoying ass during movies but now apparently my boyfriend is just as annoying.”

“Life is cruel.” Jimin chuckles, “Speaking of y/n…is she almost here?”

“Oh.” Hoseok looks at his phone now, “She said she was on her way like 15 minutes ago.”

And with the magic of great timing, he hears Hoseok’s front door swing up and you’re yelling cutely to announce your arrival. Jimin’s insides twist in a nervous but exciting kind of way. He’s been desperate to talk to you but especially after finding out you’re not with Namjoon. He can finally say everything he needs to say. 

He mentally prepares himself, body turned towards the hall he knows you’re about to walk through but when he listens carefully he can hear how you’re talking—talking to someone. Maybe Naomi? Or Jeremy? And then he feels that ugly feeling in his gut that he’s felt for the last week. You walk through with Jungkook at your side, both of you laughing before Jungkook catches Jimin’s eye and he’s throwing an arm around your shoulder.

“Jimin!” He yells out, bringing you closer to his frame. “Tell y/n that she’s being ridiculous!”

Jimin feels that ugly feeling deep in his body start to twist and turn uncomfortably as he raises a brow at Jungkook, “About what?”

“I told her she looks so freaking pretty today! But she’s trying to deny it.” Jungkook smirks, “Isn’t that crazy? I have eyes, y/n. And you look so—”

“She’s always pretty.” Jimin cuts in, tone colder than he’s wanting. “Anyway, hey.” He says, more towards you. “Mind if we talk a bit before—”

“I’m here!” Naomi calls out as she walks through the house as well, “And Jeremy is parking. Let’s all pretend he doesn’t exist.”

“Naomi.” You give her a disappointed look. “Can you guys just talk already?”

“He’s being the way he’s being so I’m going to be however I want.”

“That’s mature.” Hoseok shakes his head as he comes closer to you guys, “Anyway, I ordered pizza!”

“Oh!” You cheer excitedly, completely forgetting that Jimin wanted to talk to you. “Did you order my usual?”

“Yes, I unfortunately know your personal order by heart.” Hoseok shoves your shoulder lightly before leading everyone towards the kitchen. “Anyone want wine?”

“Me!” Naomi sings, “Full glass.”

“Jungkook!” Taehyung comes into the kitchen too, “My partner in crime!”

“You mean partner in good deeds.” Jungkook corrects him, “Only crime here is how good we look.”

“Fucking facts, man.” Taehyung glances over at you and Jimin who is going next to you for a glass of wine as well. “So, how’s it going?”

“It’s going to work this time.” Jungkook whispers towards Taehyung, “For real.”

“You know,” A very cheesy, satisfied grin starts forming on Taehyung’s face, “What we’re doing is probably so, totally and completely unnecessary…but it’s probably going to encourage them to talk.”

“It’s definitely unnecessary!” Jungkook’s smirk grows, “After what Jimin said the other weekend when you guys visited me? But,” His eyes narrow as he watches Jimin talking to you but glancing at him every now and then, “This is so much more fun.”

“It’s a fucking blast.” Taehyung nods in agreement. “We failed last time but this time?”

“This time Jimin won’t be a dumbass and let her go.” 

~

extra a/n: only two chapters left~

[simplygyuu]

Cookies - Beomgyu x gender neutral!reader

synopsis ! : After a hard day at work Beomgyu comes home and gets showered with the love and attention he deserves.. plus a plate of cookies :)

notes : reverse comfort, hurt/comfort, gyu crybaby era, i love gyu

wc : 1887

my friend @ddenoudepression made another version of the same idea !!

her version! (read after mine tho keke😝)

---------------

The minute you saw Beomgyu walk through the door you knew he must have had a bad day. He had come in with his head hanging low, slowly toeing off his shoes and hanging his jacket up. His hair wasn't very long per say, but the way his head hung covered his eyes and all you saw was the line his lips were pressed into.

“Welcome back! How'd it go, babe?” You asked either way, walking over to the doorway so you could greet him properly. You had a clue that it probably wasn't any good news, but it didn't hurt to ask. Maybe he'd open up to you.

“Oh. They rejected it.” Beomgyu simply responded, sounding absolutely devastated and plain tired as he hung up his keys. “Now I need to start fresh.. I don't even know what to write.”

“Oh, I'm sorry Gyu. I know how hard you worked on that.” You frowned, feeling the sadness with him. You had watched him slave over that rough draft of a book for months. He had been nervous if not a bit excited to submit it today. You decided to lean forward and pull him into a hug, rubbing his back gently. He was taller than you so it was a bit awkward but comfortable anyways. After a few years of dating you were used to it by now.

“I tried so hard to get that one accepted yn and he just stomped all over my hard work.” Beomgyu cried softly and you felt your heart squeeze painfully. You used your thumbs to wipe away the tears under his eyes with an understanding look.

“I know baby, I know. Let it out, yeah?” You coaxed him carefully, leaning forward to press a gentle peck to his lips before hugging him once again. Just like you said Beomgyu let himself cry, laying his head down on your shoulder despite the bit of difficulty and wrapping his arms around you.

You had come to realize not long into your relationship that Beomgyu cried a lot. There was nothing bad about that, if anything it made you feel better knowing he trusted you enough to be so vulnerable. That also meant you've figured out some of the best ways to raise his spirits. You held each other until Beomgyu eventually pulled away on his own accord, wiping away the leftover wetness from his tears.

“I'm gonna go shower and get ready for bed.. wanna watch a movie when im done?” Beomgyu offered quietly, rubbing his hand up and down your waist gently. Nothing about it was suggestive, he was truly just a touchy person.

“Of course! Why don't you take a bath it'll be some self care time, hmm? Just relax and I can massage your shoulders later.” You offered, planning on a way to make him feel better. You wanted to bake him cookies, knowing he always loved when you made him anything but it was hard to surprise him with something so time consuming. “I know your achy, old man shoulders need it.” You teased with a smile.

Beomgyu let out a small huff of laughter, beginning to smile again as he playfully rolled his eyes. It was relieving to see him smiling again. Sure his eyes were still a bit red, his cheeks and nose now dawning a dusty red tint and a bit of reflective wetness left on his cheeks, but the small smile made up for it all.

“Okay, okay.” Beomgyu gave in with a smile. “Just know I'll be taking my sweet, precious time.” He chuckled before leaning forward to give you a sweet kiss on the lips before finally letting you go and disappearing down the hallway.

You waited until he slipped into your shared bathroom and closed the door before rushing over to the kitchen with a smile. Quickly you began to pull out all of the things you would need to bake cookies. Hopefully if you made this quick you'd finish before he noticed what you were up to.

You admittedly weren't the best baker ever, honestly you never got the chance to bake often. But you used to bake with your friends and knew a thing or two. You had cookies pretty much memorized, you only hoped you'd be able to pull it off now a few years later.

You began preheating the oven, fluttering around the kitchen easily. You knew the room like the back of your hand having lived here with Beomgyu for two years now.

It was much easier to move around and bake with Beomgyu distracted. He tended to like messing with you while you cooked, following you around and hugging you from behind. He would always just laugh as you complained about not being able to move enough, usually not letting up on his hold on you.

Sometimes though he would just follow you like a lost puppy, peeking over your shoulder to see what you were doing and what you were making. It caused you to bump into him a lot. Usually it ended in you banishing him to another room or you giving him something to do in the kitchen so he'd stay in one spot.

In the shy of twenty minutes it took for you to set everything up, make the dough, and wait for the oven to preheat, Beomgyu had yet to leave the bathroom. The time passed quickly since you were so occupied, so it honestly wasn't too bad.

In no time you were popping the cookies into the oven and setting a timer, smiling as it seems you've pulled off the surprise. Right afterwards though, you heard the click of the bathroom door opening. You peeked around the corner of the hallway to see Beomgyu walking out, a towel wrapped around his waist as he used another to aggressively scrub at his wet hair.

You paused for a second, just admiring him with wide eyes. Despite your five years together you still couldn't get over how hot he was. Sure he was usually a pretty sweet, cuddly boyfriend but god was he hot when he wanted to be. Beomgyu then turned his head to make eye contact with you, raising an eyebrow before realizing you were staring at him.

“Like what you see?” He teased, winking at you playfully before walking off to your bedroom so he could put on some clothes. You just felt your face heat up out of embarrassment and really just because of how attractive he was. Honestly, you really won the lottery with him.

Shaking your head at yourself you made your way into the living room to start setting up a movie like you had promised Beomgyu. You checked the timer on your phone, seeing that there were about eight minutes left. That was enough time.

You easily went through the familiar motions of setting up a movie, you two had frequent movie nights together. You also would watch shows together even if the other wasn't very interested. You decided to wait for Beomgyu before picking something. It would be best if he picked after having a bad day.

Once Beomgyu reappeared and made his way over to the couch you smiled up at him, scooting over so there was enough room next to you. He immediately flopped down next to you, an arm over your shoulder as he leaned into you as touchy as ever.

“Have you picked anything?” He asked, glancing over at you.

“Nope, I'm letting you pick tonight. You better remember this forever ‘cause I'm never gonna be this generous ever again.” You replied back cheekily, handing the remote over to him.

“Thank you oh so much my dearest yn.. how will I ever repay you?” Beomgyu played along with a chuckle, taking the remote that was handed to him.

“Hmmm,” You pretended to think, leaning into his side and resting your head on his shoulder. “Start by feeling better tonight and then we'll see.”

Beomgyu looked at you with that fond smile on his face, just nodding at you with a laugh before focusing back on the tv. Once he looked away, you felt a buzzing in your pocket making you realize that must be the cookies. Beomgyu glanced over at the sound and you faked a sheepish smile.

“Hold on, I'll make it quick.” You promised, pretending it was an important phone call before slipping back into the kitchen. As quietly as you could manage you pulled the cookies out of the oven and transferred them onto a plate. You couldn't help the soft hiss that left you since they were still hot but that was okay, that meant they would be good. You also quickly got a glass of milk for Beomgyu, knowing by now that that's how he preferred it.

Finally you walked back into the living room, Beomgyu looking over once he realized you were coming back before his eyes zeroed in on the plate of cookies you held in one hand and the glass of milk in the other.

“Surprise! I wanted to cheer you up and I know you like cookies.” You said as you walked in, setting the plate down on the coffee table in front of Beomgyu. He had yet to speak yet, just watching you with wide eyes. Despite his silence you couldn't bring yourself to feel nervous. Worst case scenario he said he wasn't hungry.

“You.. you made these just ‘cause I was sad?” Beomgyu finally asked and you immediately responded with a happy nod. With a soft hum you carefully choose a smaller cookie before blowing on it a bit and then dipping it into the glass of milk.

“Aaa~” You playfully said, holding the cookie up to Beomgyus mouth with your other hand underneath it to keep the milk from dripping. You enjoyed taking care of him on bad days like this. He easily accepted the cookie, leaning forward a bit to take one of his signature small bites. What you didn't expect was to see tears well up in his eyes once again.

“What's wrong, Gyu? Why are you crying? Don't cry..” You were a bit alarmed, setting down the cookie to wipe away the tears under his eyes yet again.

“No, no im.. im happy. I can't believe you cooked these just for me.. how did you even manage that.” Beomgyu delved into a wet laugh at the end of his sentence, sniffling again. He was so endearing.

“Oh, you worried me you dummy.” You giggled, leaning forward to press a soft kiss onto his forehead before sitting down next to him on the couch and pulling the table a bit closer to you two. He just chuckled with you, the two of you leaning into each other once you sat down.

“So, did you pick something out yet?” You asked while picking up a cookie of your own, watching Beomgyu lift up his abandoned one from earlier.

“Yeah! It's this movie about…”

--------------------------------------------------------------

notes ! : i hope you enjoyed this.. i liked writing it :)

replies and reposts are super motivating and appreciated !!

general taglist ! : @squiishymeow @beomnioa @jwnghyuns @ddenoudepression

if youd like to be added to my permanent taglist send me a message or an ask!!

[autisticempathydaemon]

hello everynyan :3 /ref

4 the redacted match-ups ! not sure if you're still doing these or not bc i'll be damned i'd give up after the first 3 🙌🙌🙌 power 2 ya ! (if you ARE, in fact, not doing these anymore pls ignore this. this never happened. kay.)

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

this was the hardest question bc i LOVEEMUSIC so bad i can never really pick ONE fav bc it changes every 2 seconds but !!! gun to my head as of rn i'd say -- "but not kiss" - faye webster

'i want to see you in my dreams,

but then forget.

we're meant to be,

but not yet.

you're all that i have,

but can't get.'

i chose this song primarily because of the aesthetics & instrumental,, + the feels - i love how the piano carries and portrays every feeling (dread? maybe?) alongside the vocalist ugh sick to my stomach /pos

as for the verses i've chosen i just. really like the way she sings them HA i guess depending on my current mood i might relate to the lyrics for .5 seconds due to a past relationship of mine that had me fuckedd anyway.

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

i WISH i could enjoy these as much as others but i have the attention spam of a fucking goldfish i need to be stimulated 24/7. i cannot stare at the same face and occasional photo/clip for over 10 mins.

i might watch more of em if they had like a satisfying slime video in the corner or smth. i find i only watch ones that have a topic/interest of mine that i am actively curious about/into????if that makes sense??

for instance, the only one that comes to mind rn is "in defense of chat noir" by toon ruins UGH ITS SO GOOD i used to be a huge fan of miraculous so that defffinitely takes part in why i rewatch it every few months.

What is your go-to way to fall asleep?

on my stomach. arms under pillows. one leg up. yo i bought these headphones made specifically for sleeping while listening to relaxing noises or smth & i kid you not i use them shits to listen to asmr/rp audios. sometimes it puts me to sleep other times i'm up all night tryna figure out what position the listener and 'character' are in. anyway!!!

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

first thing that comes 2 mindd for whatever reason is 'may' ?? possibly bc i really like my birth name already and 'may' is somewhat close to it already? also because i'd love writing it over and over in my handwriting . probably just an excuse to write the letter 'y' actually.

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why?

fav character changes ALLL THE TIMEE for no reason my fav is all of them rlly i just wanna love and be loved BUT when i reaaaally think about it ?? hudson. even though he's like. an easter egg. i cant have anything. wanna "D D D D DDDJJJ ANXIETY" into his pants. what. who said that. just got hacked wtff

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.)

a know a LOTT of ppl love david but i am sorry i just cannot. angel better than me idk how they do it. srry. my momma raised a bitch. i've never ever gotten to finishing any of his videos so maybe im the problem but from the get-go THIS BITCH IS SCARY BRO he's so damn intimidating . the fact that his voice is rlly deep doesn't help either :C ..& don't even get me started on early david.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

this is such a good question rlly makin me think . hmm . OK I FEEL LIKE A BASIC BlTCH BC PPL HAVE BEEN SAYIN THIS ALREADY BUT . hux. we like this 🤞 . as for why?? i feel like i need and would . honestly really appreciate more,, warmth and positivity in my life - and i def get that sorta 'aura' from him. & i know damn well he'd give the best hugs. and we could go to the gym together. it'd be so fun. so precious.

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

ok first of all #relationshipgoals that is so sweet awe :((

i wouldn't say i really 'ramble' per say -- i just talk. to myself. like a normal person. mhm. i struggle with sleep in general, so i'm usually up till like 5am. typically endlessly scrolling through my phone, or talking to the abyss about something personal that's been on my mind for a while. if it's really bad, i cry in my voice memos. if i just need to - refresh? get smth off my mind so i can sleep? i write songs.

...and then i record them on my $15 wireless headphones. onto that very same voice memos app.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

if im being honest,, depends on my mood . but god could i fuck up some strawberry milk and mini oreos right about now. . mind you i've had strawberry milk like once but it changed my life u dont understand

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.

i mean i don't listen to it 24/7 but man i outdid myself w this one. it's called "insanity" and every single song matches the vibe of . just straight up 'otherworldly' ?? if u catching what im throwin?? all songs r pretty 'out-there' - in terms of the vibes - at least i like to think so. for reference it has songs like "goth - sidewalks and skeletons" and "eternal youth - růde" . IDK i guess it makes me happy when songs from a playlist actually match up with one other

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why?

i listen to this japanese-kawaii-metal-based group called BABYMETAL and i loveee them soso much. a few "metal enthusiasts" go out and call their work 'not real metal' , which is why i guess you can technically call their music a pleasure media -- as well as the fact that whenever i put on one of their songs mfs r like ... what is this - cause its three young japanese girls talking abt bubblegum with the the most insane guitar riff in the back. their newer stuff is incredible. womanhood at it's finest. give them a shot plspls /nf

ALL DONE !! ty 4 reading & have a lovely day/night, wherever you may be <3

Oh, this one is perfect and required, like, no thought. Vibes-wise? Given your energy? It’s just gotta be Guy.

Building on that, I love that you write songs and he writes screenplays(?). I think it’s so cute to pair writers together so that you might inspire one another and be each other's biggest fans. I also like Guy for you because he strikes me as one of those people who calls themselves “polyjamorous”, listening to basically anything and everything. He loves all your songs and all your playlists, vibing along to all of it even if there’s no words or words in another language. He doesn’t care: he’s with you, so he’s having a good time.

I would predict a fun, artistic life for the two of you like parallel-playing co-writing sessions with the two of you having individual headphones on, making funny faces at one another when you catch the other staring. You take turns showing each what you’ve created and hyping each other up, offering critique. When the writer's clock keeps y’all up till 3 AM, he’s got leftover pizza and any snacks you could possibly want. (He strikes me as the sort of guy who always has junk food caches.)

Song:

It was just two lovers/ Sittin' in the car, listening to Blonde/ Fallin' for each other/ Pink and orange skies, feelin' super childish/ No Donald Glover/ Missed call from my mother/ Like, "Where you at tonight?" Got no alibi/ I was all alone with the love of my life

Given your passion for music, I tried to pick a love song for y’all that was emotionally evocative to the mind and the ear. I chose this one because I thought the piano instrumental and how it evokes that mental imagery of sitting with someone during the golden hour might resonate with you. I also like it for y’all because this song got really popular on tiktok, and Guy would probably know it from there.

Runner-ups:

Obviously, we have to have Hudson as a runner-up. As a DJ, he’d be so loving and so supportive of your craft, hyping you up on air all the time and playing your work whenever he can. He’d also make you really bomb-ass playlists. A less obvious runner-up would be Anton, but I really like this one. You’d be more of an opposites attract sort of pair, but I think it’d be cute, and listening to music would remind Anton of you while he’s away~

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[farolero-posting]

no but, like, Prototype is SO interesting when you think a little harder about him and I just want you to see my vision for a sec because im feeling normal. hiding this under a cut though.

I think the main line i wanna say is that yes we can easily see why Silver or The World Machine see themselves as flawed machines but I don't think that notion is too out of reach for him yknow? Like. He was built to "greet the messiah of the old world", which ended up not happening as it was supposed to. Worst part of it is that considering the lore Cedric provides, Proto was the one to figure out this quest for a savior was pointless. It's like predicting that his very existence is futile, and then just having to live with that?? Somehow?? Not only this, but the implied cultural shift that this event caused had to be considerable. People left their research, they changed their outlook in life, this action ended up changing the trajectory that people had. Hell, maybe some people took their own lives. I mean, that note in the Barrens had to be inspired by something.

Could you Fucking Imagine realizing that your actions had THIS effect? That you effectively have caused harm by sharing this knowledge, but this was either out of your scope, or it was something you were programmed to do from the start? That this is all out of your choice? What the fuck even. "OP it's not that deep" I know but it could be. Hello. I mean listen. if the Author hadn't known everything was going to end in the next few years, do you think he would've tried to create TWM?

And then, I guess. the simulation is created and as problems arise, the Author's children are tasked with a backup plan that could help them be tamed. There is no guarantee that whoever ends up with the simulation will attempt it, but they need to believe it's possible. And they all wait, and make sacrifices. Prototype not only hides in a corner that's harder to access but we find him without part of his memories, in such a way that he can't even introduce himself properly. The data is close to him, and yet body and mind and identity are kind of divisible. And there's no guarantee that his wait will amount to anything. Maybe he wouldn't even realize that, in that state though, I don't fucking know. Is it better to not know? Either way this sounds like quite the sacrifice to make, and I want that to sink in.

And sure, then the savior does show up, except the circumstances are different. This world is possible to save, this world is simpler, it's also just a simulation, and all of this is stuff he knows and has accepted. He doesn't even fulfill his purpose as he should because there's another robot taking that spot. And what he ends up doing, can be once again summarized as delivering information about things that he NEEDED to share for a greater good, and that causing a negative reaction of a magnitude that accelerates the corruption of the world, and his one chance to actually guide the savior ends up leaving them more confused, upset and doubtful that they can do anything. He tries to predict what could happen next, or at least, states he does and he is always too late. Too late to tell them of the corruption, too late to tell them that the mines will collapse, too late to react to make sure Silver and himself make it out alive. And yeah this event does make Solstice a far riskier route than intended. Did the Author and co. consider this possibility? Likely, did they THINK it would actually go that way? Probably fucking not.

It's fine, in the end. Robots can be repaired, and things did turn out okay, but the cost was still big, and no replacement can really make the consequences disappear. But time goes on, anyways. What else could you expect? What else can you do? Can you say you failed if it was out of your control? If it was never meant to be anyways? What did you make of the chance you did get?

And, in other topics, from where DO you draw your worth? What defines you? Where is "you"?

idk.

[cocozydiaries]

Can you tell me more about your mha dr please?

HIII tysm for the ask!!

noticed two mha related asks really close to each other? anon are you the same person twice🤨

okay okay if ur not new here u probably know i did post about my mha dr before BUT THAT POST WAS AWFUL so now it’s deleted and gone. sorry😞

Honestly with my updated version i’ve just kept most things kinda vague. Don’t get me wrong I love scripting, but i don’t do it that much anymore coz now i just let my subconscious handle it so my scripts are kinda empty.

I do still script, just less but dw i’ll share what i have!! I love over sharing🫶

be warned this is unorganised asf since i wrote it all at like 2am😭

My dr name (spoiler alert i don’t have one):

even tho i think names are very important I haven’t picked a name for myself in any of my drs💀. Partly coz I wanna be surprised but also partly coz just coz i’m lazy.

I did however script that my name suits me and has a nice meaning. I also scripted that my siblings and i all have the same first letter of our names (smth we have here!) but my parents also have different names for each of us, like a sorta nickname (mine is yara coz i have a love/hate relationship with butterflies)

Onto actual stuff related to my mha dr. Also probably the only thing you really care about smh. yeah ik your intentions anon🙄

Quirks!!

soooo basically quirk basically siren/mermaid irl?? tbh idk but the main thing (aside from occasionally cosplaying as ariel) i’m basically able to shape and manipulate water. Very korra coded of me ik but she has always been my favourite.

Me, some of my siblings, and parents mostly have different quirks tho due to that fact that my parents adopted us. That’s a whole different thing tho we can get into later.

I haven’t scripted my family’s quirks because again lazy asf and wanna be surprised. I’m assuming based on their jobs they’re gonna have either powerful or really useful quirks anyhow. Just makes sense

Anywhooo onto actual mha stuff like

UA:

Idk if i’m gonna get in lmao💀 all i scripted is IF i do i’ll end up in class 1A. I did that coz i wanna know if i can get into class UA without scripting it. I mean ik i will but idk funsies ig.

I also changed the uniform coz it’s ugly asf. Honestly i just think dark blue would’ve been so much better than that vomit izuku inspired green.

i also scripted that midnight and mineta are actually chill and normal people. IM SORRY GUYS💔 but mineta is lowkey funny when he isn’t a creep and midnight is so extra i love her. i just don’t like when they’re…. icky. so i scripted that out!

and i scripted that toru gets a proper hero outfit kinda similar to mirio’s thing. makes absolutely NO sense that his hero outfit was made to adapt to his quirk but they leave my girl to freeze? nuh uh

i’ve actually scripted quite a few minor difference or things i want to happen. let me know if that’s smth you guys are interested in!!

Anyways that’s kinda it coz idk what to say… I need y’all to ask me specific questions PLS😭 i suck at answering vague stuff💔

EXAMPLE: “coco” (or yara since you lot did technically unlock a new name) “exactly what are you gonna do when you wake up in ur dr at 5:21am because you heard one of ur rat siblings cluttering around outside ur door while getting ready for school.”

how i’m feeling after checking what other people’s dr intros look like and realising i was only meant to write a couple of sentences and not explain why i picked each thing i scripted for my dr in a stupid amount of detail: 😐

i can drive in my dr btw!! can’t do that here tho. thought you should know. IDK HOW TO

[my-castles-crumbling]

hiya cas! i hope youre well 😊

so, i have some medical issues (nothing serious!! probably - im still waiting for a proper diagnosis but ive had a few appointments and tests etc and have been assured its nothing to be concerned about) and so i obviously have to go to hospital appointments sometimes for the aforementioned tests and discussions. it was scary at first (i hadnt been in a hospital since the day i was born up until this point, and i was 18 when i had my first of these appointments) but its easier now, but im still a little stressed

im not technically estranged from my family - i still live at home with both parents, and we're on decent enough terms - but we dont really have any sort of important conversations. or any personal conversations either. so i guess we're just not really close? idk. anyway, this has meant i have absolutely no idea what any of my family medical history is. i had to find out through my older sister that my father was diagnosed with diabetes four years ago (and she only found out because she worked at the pharmacy where he got his stuff from), and my eldest brother was the one who told me my grandparents' causes of death (they died before my birth and my parents never mention them), but they dont know any more than that either

this hasnt been an issue for me before, because obviously ive never needed to know. ive never been asked about it, but now that my own health isnt right, i kinda need to know. in my first appointment i got asked about it, but i told the doctor i didnt know and would ask at home

i did ask, to be fair. i spoke to my mother and explained why i needed to know but she just kind of... brushed it off? idk if thats the right way to phrase it. she said there was some vague thing about heart issues but she didnt say anything specifically, or which side of the family it came from, or anything all thay helpful at all

its so frustrating because im not the first of their kids to need this information. my sister has medical problems too (different issues than mine though) and our parents were no help with her either

i spoke to a friend about it last autumn when i first went to hospital and he looked at me so oddly, it made me feel so broken, i guess. apparently discussing medical history isnt a taboo subject in most households, because he knew all of his and he's never been to hospital for anything. but the way he looked at me like i was weird or something for not knowing was awful. again, it made me feel genuinely broken and damaged. it was kind of one of those moments where you realise 'oh, my family isnt normal' and it sucked, because i thought id had that realisation years ago

its happened with some other stuff too (i.e. telling parents about a relationship, friends, interests, spending time with family etc) and it just... it really sucks. i dont know what else there is to say than that ig lol

i was going somewhere with this ask, but ive kinda gotten off track and now i cant remember, soooo.... have a good day! thanks for reading my ramble 🥰

Hi hon!

I’m so sorry, whose moments of realization suck, truly. Please know that you did nothing wrong <3 

Because this is a health thing, I do have some advice for you (ignore me if you want!) There are forms on the internet that have questions about family history. Print one out and just give it to your mom and dad. Don’t give them room to question it. Say your doctor needs it, and you need them to fill it out.

I wonder, though, if your parents don’t share their history with you, they might not know their parents history. A lot of times, these kinds of things that happen in families are passed down. 

But yeah. Just give them a form and make it a health thing. You deserve that info. 

Again, please know that you are NOT broken, and it has nothing to do with you <3

(naming you medical anon)

[aita-blorbos]

my friends directed me to this blog to see what people would think about my situation. theyre fully supportive, but wanna see what tumblr thinks, i guess.

aita for killing the person who murdered my family, and then killing my rich abusive adoptive father?

hi. im like, 19. or 20. i lost count. i dont care about gender, but i guess im male and use he/him. anyway. when i was around 10, there was a break and enter into my house. we were getting robbed. the robber killed my mom and dad, while i snuck into the kitchen do grab a kitchen knife. i stabbed him in the back and took his gun while he was stunned. i was scared to use it, so instead i just kept stabbing him until he stopped breathing. great childhood, i know.

anyway, after that, i was all alone. i didnt know where my brother went, and my parents were dead. we didnt really have an extensive family, so there were no funerals, and there was no one to take care of me. so for a while i just roamed the streets. some random guy saw me, and seeing a kid covered in blood probably isnt the most normal thing, so he ran up to ask if i was ok. he brought me to an orphanage, where i stayed for a while. eventually, my second "dad" (i dont even want to call him that. hes a disgrace compared to my real father, even calling him a parent feels disrespectful) came to the orphanage to adopt a kid. said kid was me. i was happy, cause id finally have a home again, and he was rich! i would be spoiled, and given a wonderful life for the trauma i had to go through.

i was wrong, though. the guy who adopted me was a prick. he was a rich scumbag who only thought about others if it meant he could say bad things about them. he was negligent, and would sometimes hit me. he got drunk all the time, and usually i was left alone in his huge house, only having the occasional housemaid to care for me. whenever i see pictures of the interiors of huge houses or mansions it gives me chills. anyway, after all this bullshit, i finally thought enough was enough. i still carried a few knives on me ever since the incident, in case something bad happened again. at night when no one except the two of us were in the house, i stabbed him in the heart while he was sleeping. i took all his money, and figured if worst comes to worst, i could pay my way out of being punished for murder. fortunately, that wasnt even necessary. when i called 911 pretending like i had no idea what happened, none of the officers even touched me. no one had a clue i had the weapon. it was eventually ruled down to a robber that got away, ironically enough.

after all this, i inherited all of his shit. all the money, the whole house, and all his stupid rich guy bullshit (think yachts, fancy cars). it was all mine. i turned the house into a housing unit, letting anyone who wanted to to live in it (like the homeless or people who needed to get away from an abusive household), given how huge it was. seriously, it felt like a palace in a disney movie. i sold all the shit he had that i didnt care about, or gave it away for free to others. i donate frequently to charity. i make sure i dont keep too much money for myself at a time, and i dont buy stupid things that i dont actually need. i dont want to become like him.

alright, so heres the final question. i know some people think murder is unacceptable, no matter how evil the victim is, that my parents may be watching me from the stars with hatred, and that rich peolle are assholes. but im trying my best to be a good person.

am i the asshole?

[callsign-bunnie]

I am here for that Nephilim!Ghost x Bunny!Rudy breeding kink! You know the one I am bribing you for.

Love you

Alright, I started out last Horror Night with a Ghost/Rudy kink piece, LETS START THIS ONE THE SAME! (Cannot wait for that piece of art)

--

Rabbit instinct told Rodolfo he was being stalked. A predator had picked up his scent. He knew who it was, too.

Ghost.

Ever since they'd met, he looked at him oddly. It wasn't quite like Rodolfo was food. But Rodolfo had something Ghost wanted. It'd honestly, for this reason, shocked Rodolfo when Ghost treated him with respect.

He'd expected Ghost to act like he was some ditzy prey omega, but no, Ghost listened to him. Took his words into consideration.

Maybe it was just part of the game. Maybe it was meant to draw Rodolfo in.

It'd worked.

Rodolfo had always had a stronger sense of self preservation. Keeping Alejandro alive was a full time job and he couldn't do that if he was dead. But... Ghost wrecked that. Something about him drew Rodolfo in and even if Rodolfo's instincts told him this was wrong, he didn't care.

Rodolfo took a deep breath when he looked to his left, seeing Ghost's hand right next to him on the desk. He followed the arm it was attached to up to Ghost's face. There was an intensity, there. But... despite the fact that Rodolfo couldn't see Ghost's mouth... there was a smile in his eyes.

Rodolfo barely suppressed his shiver and looked away again. "Ghost... What can I help you with?" He knew enough to know Ghost would not be coming to him unless he needed something. Not like this, anyway.

No, Ghost had always preferred to watch him from the background.

"Come to my quarters tonight. Or I can come to yours." It was a question, though it was not phrased as such. If Alejandro had spoke to him in such a way, Rodolfo would have had half a mind to yell at him.

But Ghost was different. Rodolfo couldn't find himself being too mad at the way Ghost just knew Rodolfo wouldn't say no. He'd accept the invitation, gladly. "Mine are probably bigger."

"Then I'll come to yours." Ghost left and Rodolfo tensed with anticipation. What the hell did Ghost want to do to him that night?

-

Rodolfo waited. He'd eaten a quick dinner and then realized he didn't know when Ghost was supposed to be there. He'd never said a time... Rodolfo just hoped he didn't mean super late. He had things to do in the morning, he couldn't be super exhausted.

Rodolfo jumped a little at the harsh knock. He all but rushed to it, pulling the door open. As usual, Rodolfo had to look up. Now, he had to crane his neck. Ghost felt bigger. It didn't... make sense. Maybe Rodolfo felt smaller.

Ghost stepped into the room, scenting the air a little. "You cooked."

"Yeah." Rodolfo flushed. "Traditional parents." He mumbled and backed up a little so Ghost had more room.

Ghost shrugged, looking around the room. Rodolfo closed the door behind him, locking it. It made a very audible click and Rodolfo winced. Ghost didn't verbally acknowledge but Rodolfo saw the amusement in his eyes.

"What does a little rabbit need all this space for?" Ghost asked, casually sitting on the bed. "You don't seem to know what to do with it."

"Ale... It's complicated." Rodolfo would rather not discuss that one.

Ghost snorted. "The fox is an interesting alpha. He seems to want you to fulfill all the roles of a housewife without the ring."

"He's not good with commitment." Rodolfo flushed, unable to help defending his friend. "You should be grateful. I wouldn't be willing to do this with the ring. Besides, I thought you two were friends."

Ghost shrugged. "You can be friends with someone and see when they're not doing something right. And, regardless, I could still take you. Even with the ring."

Rodolfo rolled his eyes at Ghost's cockiness. No, not with a ring. "He doesn't want people to talk."

"People are already talking."

Rodolfo winced. Ghost was right. He looked away. "Didn't you come here for something?"

"Come." Ghost gestured and Rodolfo immediately went over, standing in front of Ghost. Rodolfo shivered when Ghost pushed up his hoodie and Rodolfo raised his arms so he could pull it off.

Ghost shook his head. "He wastes you."

Rodolfo's skin turned red from the comment. He didn't have anything to respond with, however, and just started to work on finishing undressing. Ghost pulled him into his lap when he was done, his hands roaming Rodolfo's skin.

Rodolfo closed his eyes and pressed into his touch. His body felt warm with need, and he shivered. Fabric suddenly pressed around his eyes. A blindfold.

"This is for you. Your little bunny heart would give out if you saw what I really look like."

Rodolfo... decided to be grateful. It was a conscious choice. But, it was his. He straddled Ghost, wrapping his arms around Ghost's neck. A mouth was on his, a moment later, and Rodolfo pressed closer to Ghost.

There was a claim, there. Possession. "What are you going to do to me?" Rodolfo softened his voice, gasping when his hips were grabbed tightly.

"Give your body what it desperately wants." Ghost growled into his ear. His hand moved between Rodolfo's legs and Rodolfo flushed, feeling him swipe up the slick that was gathering. Then his fingers pressed in and Rodolfo gasped, grabbing at Ghost's shirt.

The fingers pressed deep and Rodolfo whimpered, nuzzling into Ghost's neck. They moved, slowly, carefully, and Rodolfo moaned, moving his hips to grind back down on them.

"So needy..." Ghost chuckled. He stood, suddenly, lifting Rodolfo with him. Rodolfo gasped as he was dropped on the bed. Before he even had a chance to do anything, though, Ghost's fingers were back, pressing deep inside him before curling, carefully.

Rodolfo arched his back and gasped, gasping at the sheets. It wasn't enough, he needed more. He whimpered and whined, bucking his hips a little. Ghost chuckled and the sound filled the room, despite how soft it was.

Rodolfo whined. "Please..."

"You're so tiny. I don't want to break you."

Rodolfo just whimpered. Desperation started to carefully build and he ground more onto Ghost's fingers, moaning softly.

Ghost pulled his fingers out, after a moment, and Rodolfo almost cried. "Calm the fuck down, I need to undress." There was amusement, not harshness. Rodolfo covered his face with his hands, Ghost was being so cruel.

Ghost's body covered his almost an eternity later, and Rodolfo shivered at how cold his skin was. It was nice, a pleasant contrast to the warmth in Rodolfo's.

Ghost's hands pushed Rodolfo's legs open and up before his cock was pushing in and- oh, oh that was why Ghost was being careful. Rodolfo whimpered and tensed as he realized he may have bitten off more than he could chew because Ghost may have almost been way too fucking big.

"See?" Ghost chuckled but didn't pull out. Rodolfo whimpered from pain and grabbed at the sheets.

Ghost kissed him a moment later, his tongue pushing into Rodolfo's mouth. It explored for only a moment and then the world was melting. That was the only way to describe it.

The pain dissolved into an intense pleasure and Rodolfo's mind went hazy. "What-"

"Don't worry about it." Ghost murmured, petting his hair. Rodolfo couldn't have, if he wanted to. He moaned when Ghost started to move, carefully sliding out and then pushing back in. It was almost too much but in a different way.

A much better way.

Rodolfo again started to get desperate and he was wiggling his hips and moaning, before crying out when Ghost bit into him. Ghost's teeth were way too sharp to be normal, even for most prey animals. It didn't hurt, though, it just shot pleasure through his body.

"I'm gonna breed you, bunny. Have you swollen with my pup. You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Ghost murmured when he pulled away before slamming right back into Rodolfo.

Rodolfo cried out before he could answer and arched his back. He could feel blood dripping down his neck from where Ghost bit into him and it was a fantastic new feeling. "Please..." Was all he could get out.

He was rewarded with Ghost quickening his pace. Rodolfo cried out and arched his back, throwing his arms over his face, as Ghost fucked hard into him. Something clawlike dragged itself down Rodolfo's side before the blindfold was practically ripped off his eyes, his arms dragged down and held to his chest.

Rodolfo whimpered at the sudden light before his eyes widened at the sight in front of him. Granted, it was hard to focus with each sharp thrust sending pleasure up his spine.

Despite a slight pink hue over the room around him, his eyes trailed over grey skin, coursing with black veins. Blood red eyes stared down at him with lust and amusement, and a tongue licked over sharp teeth, still red with Rodolfo's blood.

Whatever Ghost was should have scared him, but it only made him want to be taken harder, rougher. He arched his back and cried in pleasure as Ghost continued the harsh pace.

Ghost grabbed his hips, making sure every thrust slammed deep into him, and Rodolfo leaned his head back, almost screaming with pleasure.

"Such a perfect little omega. So tiny, yet you can take all of me." Ghost chuckled. He barely even sounded out of breath, yet Rodolfo felt like he was being torn apart in all of the best ways. "You're so neglected, bunny, aren't you?"

Rodolfo whimpered and just melted, nodding, before he was being lifted a little so Ghost could get a somehow even deeper angle. Rodolfo arched high with each thrust. Ghost's hand reached up, stroking over his ears, gently.

Rodolfo flushed dark and started to get close. "Knot me..."

"Can you take my knot? It won't break you will it?" There was no concern, only amusement. Ghost knew it wouldn't. Rodolfo whimpered and shook his head.

"Please... please I need your knot.. You said you'd breed me and I need it so fucking bad... Please, alpha..."

Somehow, Rodolfo had caught Ghost off guard. Ghost seemed shocked at the begging and his eyes darkened. A shadow started to seem to surround Ghost and he slammed deep into him, his knot forming immediately as he cursed loudly.

Rodolfo screamed, cumming from the sensation. Even still, Ghost rocked into him, making Rodolfo thrash a little from overstimulation. Ghost chuckled and slowly stopped moving, panting a little. "You're fully of surprised, little bunny, aren't you?"

Rodolfo laughed, breathlessly, and looked up at him. "What are you?"

Ghost seemed to hesitate. It was odd, seeing something so... monstrous as Ghost hesitate and seem almost insecure. "That's not important."

Rodolfo considered before shrugging and closing his eyes. "You know what they say about rabbits, right?" He wiggled his hips a little.

"Let my knot go down, jesus fucking christ. You're a fucking handful."

Rodolfo laughed again. He was excited.

[butchviking]

I miss the Hal who didn't care about celebrities and thought it was weird to care about that lame shit, now you're judging Frank Iero's outfit on the Internet. Not to mention the sexuality speculation - on the public Internet. All the while he's a straight but you as a lesbian were just saying how you're uncomfortable when your girlfriends talk about men they're attracted to. Sooooo.... they're opinions bother you and you can't have a conversation about that but public speculation about a straight man's fake homosexuality is OK because he can perform gay on stage... you can't have a conversation any friends should be able to have,, but you're wondering if those jumpscare ugly moids had sex or not... Got it. One rule for thee but not for me I guess... lame Hal

oh nooooo some anonymous weirdo on the internet misses the version of me they made up in their head 🥺🥺 as though i was not a fandom blogger for years before i ever heard of radblr as though i have not always been obsessed with some celebrity or other as though i have not been frerard speculating since i was 10. u dont know me. grow up.

u also obviously terribly misunderstood something about that little rant of mine the other day bc i was in fact not so much complaining that women in my life talk about men theyre attracted to. i was complaining that i as a lesbian feel left out and wish i could be part of those conversations and i still struggle with accepting that i never can be and it makes me sad <3 and i talked about how that very much relates to my interest in whoever my current Celebrity Guys are because i struggle to have conversations about them even with many other fans because they simply experience things that i cannot and it makes me feel terribly like im missing out on something and like im missing out on bonding moments w other female fans bc they say things and all i can do is wrinkle up my nose and be like 'um well thats nice'.

also yeah frank & gerard are both probably straight and almost definitely never fucked but their stage gay shit was an anti-homophobia stand and did in fact have a very significant impact on me as a child. its important to me. sorry if thats lame to you but yeah it shaped me as a person to see two guys kissing on stage and getting booed and bottled for it it shaped me as a person to experience the reaction i got in catholic school reading the download 2007 review with the frerard kiss image it shaped me as a person to see them get called fags again and again and to take this stand anyway again and again. im very very serious about this i genuinely do not take their stage gay antics lightly and i am forever and ever grateful. it meant a lot. gay people in my kerrang magazine..

[nocturnal-phantoms-fandoms]

okay i know you are on the same shack scene agenda as me and i need to dissect it even more so please tell me your thoughts about what remus is thinking/feeling when he sees peter on the map and decides to go after sirius 👀

What do we know? He finds out Peter is alive and he immediately finds it highly suspicious - nobody casually fakes their death after all. He goes straight to the willow and on his way he tries to make sense of it all. He knows that whatever he believed/was told is at least questionable. And the way through the tunnel is long so he has time to think.

I believe that Remus figured out what happened in October 1981 - more or less - the moment he entered the shack. When he asks how it is possible that Peter is alive, he is thinking out loud. He already went through every possibility, checking how probable each one was in the context of what was happening in the last couple months of the war and then he comes to the conclusion - you switched - and he is sure there is no other option. So when Sirius - who’s words he shouldnt really have any reasons to trust* - nods, he doesnt question it at all and gets straight to business to murder the rat. 

*That is, assuming he truly and fully believed Sirius to be the traitor.

I like to think that it took quite long for him to accept it and that it was mostly due to Dumbledore convincing him. He has no reason to doubt Dumbledore - and Dumbledore has no reason to think what he knows isn’t the whole truth - but what Dumbledore says doesnt make any sense (and even Rosmerta agrees!). But even if he doubs his words he has no means of going against him or proving him wrong so for the sake of his own sanity he has to accept it. 

And even then - when he was told Sirius was responsible for all those murders - he didnt think he deserved the Dementors Kiss. And we know that he holds James and Lily (especially James) in high regard and how much their friendship, support and acceptance meant for him bc of his childhood. Yet he is very quick to murder Peter - not even waiting for the kids to leave the scene jesus christ remus - when they find out he was the traitor. Yes, the point of his question for Harry about the Kiss was to show that it’s fate worse than death but come on - in front of my salad the kids?

Also Im not sure what to make out of his excuse of not telling dumbledore about the map/secret passages - that he convinced himself Sirius was using tricks he was taught by Voldemort and also that he is Dumbeldore’s doormat. Its a very very poor excuse  and. couldnt he just. show him an opened map and point to the secret passages and say they should be blocked/guarded? say he found this mysterious artifact of unspecified origins somewhere in the castle? anyways for me it doesnt make much sense until we consider that he had this thought - about sirius potentially maybe not being guilty - at the back of his head. maybe even subconsciously at this point. 

that or he was very gay for sirius. 

also I forgot to take my shipping goggles off, shit, my bad. 

I would love to hear your thoughts though, they happen to make more sense than mine >.<" 

[pjulian]

Lilac Patisserie - Aptly named for gay nerds

In the mood for some gay brunch and pastry, Saturday morning brought us to the ever fancy “lilac patassery,” as julian calls it.

Like many white people coffee spots in the area, I had been wanting to try it out for a while. A decently long line of people awaited as we got there.

They seem to have a large collection of cakes and tarts and things that made me want to pee myself or something. Truly tempted by the lemon cheesecake but the lemon merengue tarts captured me more. Lemon will always be seductive to me.

Anyways, a cute $80 pricetag for two mains, the tart and two lattes and we were seated.

A wonderfully gay man informed me and julian that he would “recommend that we cut the tart” after he watched us nearly break our forks trying to take bites. Tart pictured here, post destruction:

Things came out pretty quickly, lattes following soon after. I always enjoy cute latte art, although they gave me the GIRL design. Just kidding. The lattes were a decent size, julian’s was his coveted mocha, mine was a caramel latte.

Unsure if caramel meant sea salt caramel? A sip of mine tasted almost salty, however it was quickly fixed with a sugar packet. Very good afterwards.

Post-latte was only another few minutes until the food came out. I got the classic breakfast, something delightfully american. julian got his favorite french toast.

The breakfast was good. Being a bakery, they had some thick fluffy bread for toast which was its own experience. A little sugary for my taste but, good nonetheless. The potatoes were my favorite part, mostly nice and soft and well seasoned (with the exception of one half raw piece). That being said, Lilac makes an interesting decision to pair the potatoes with a sea of roasted onion and bell pepper. Honestly I didn’t even touch the onions, not wanting to deal with the monstrosity of onion breath for the rest of the year. The apple chicken sausage offered was a little bland, but good. Not an exceptional amount of flavor but I just love sausage. Overall the food was decent but not spectacular.

Most of the points for this place come from the atmosphere. Nice lavender walls and a really clean and dainty french feel. I don’t know how often i can justify a full breakfast at the price point but it’s definitely a place to return to. Campy and gay enough for me!

★ ★ ★ ★ / 5

Warm wishes,

pj

Read julian’s thoughts on his food below ⬇️

i was most surprised by the speed of the service as pj already pointed out, everything was delivered to us pretty quickly and paced out well. the tart itself i enjoyed but im also not really one for messy food and the gay guy telling me how to cut the thing was embarrassing so i cant really give it too glowing of praise but its also a pretty personal thing, if you like creamy desserts and gay men humiliating you then its probably great. the mocha was good just a little too sweet, i prefer it a bit more bitter but again thats personal taste it was still very good. i liked the leaf on it was very sad when i drank it to the point of complete dissolution.

the french toast was served with a cup of butter, syrup, and a side of assorted fruit. pretty average presentation but strawberries with french toast is like crack to me so i cant bring myself to care too much, dont need anything too exotic to enjoy the meal with.what definitely surprised me though was that i typically hate blueberries but the ones served here were actually great with a very consistent ripeness and sweetness to the point that it may have turned me around on the fruit a little. like sorry blueberries i didnt realize you could taste like that. the toast itself was pretty decent too although i wish it was served with a little more syrup, it was like a tiny cup i need the whole gallon.

despite lilacs pattassery not entirely aligning with my autistic inclinations id say it was a pretty good dining experience overall especially if youre normal. you got to hand it to white people. but only sometimes. id give it 3.5 stars out of 5.

best regards,

julian

Lilac Patisserie: 3.75 ★