#but anyway I think you’re missing the point
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YOU DIDNT TELL ME YOU HAD OTHER GEORGE FICS I FEEL LIKE I WAS BAITED INTO GETTING INTO ANOTHER WEASLEY FOR NO REASON (I say as if I needed to be baited 🙄🤪)
An enormous Christmas tree hung upside down from the ceiling, decorated in orange, purple, and gold, with handmade ornaments over every branch and popcorn strings strewn around it.
OH! LOVELY not you making me want to rewatch the films (I won't I'm not a fan of reconsumption idk idk idk)
He had a bright purple handkerchief in his hand, the triple W embroidered on the corner.
Willy Wonka aahhh entrance. My beautiful beautiful boy
You knew about the death of his twin, Fred, everyone did, and now he knew your pain as well.
😃 oh. We're doing the death. 😃 Oh 👍
George’s smile widened, a flush creeping up his neck. “Well, ah, that’s really—” he scratched the back of his head, clearly flustered by the revelation. “That’s very kind,” he managed with a breathy chuckle.
“You’re my first priority today,”
Can I be your first priority everyday
At first, he seemed reluctant to talk about products with stories tied to Fred, like prodding a sore wound, but eventually he was telling story after story, grinning and laughing at the memories of their countless antics.
Wow I cannot express how absolutely unnecessary it was to kill Fred. Wow. This is supposed to be cute but 😃 I don't agreeeee 🙅♀️ NO MAAM
“Please, just—let me do this for your brother.” George’s eyes held yours, soft around the corners. “It’s what Fred would do.”
MY SHAYLAAAAAAAAA
“Would you want to, uh, maybe get a drink later? Or coffee?” He asked, rubbing the back of his neck, freckled cheeks flushing pink.
GASP. RIZZLER GEORGE. SEE 🫵 YOU'RE OUT HERE LAUGHING WHEN 🫵 YOU CONTRIBUTED TO THE CANON THAT IS RIZZLER!GEORGE
You hadn’t stopped thinking about George for a moment, so wound up that you started getting ready three hours early for a simple ice cream date. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt so giddy, so hopeful.
She so me. Icon
“It was worse when we first reopened the shop.” His thumb swiped back and forth across yours, soothing the irritation itching under your skin. “They would come in just to get a look at me. Like my grief was some kind of spectator sport.”
IM COMING GEORGIE! STAY BACK
(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง
George barked a laugh, his head falling back with the force of it, and you smiled. “Better, I suppose.”
... 🧍♀️ Miss ma'am what is the context of this I must have been hella cute ANYWAY IT IS I CAN SEE HIM LAUGHIN--- OH FUCK I REMEMBER NO IT IS HE TURNED WHATSHERFACE PURPLE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
You ordered your bowls of ice cream, Peppermint Marshmallow Mayhem for George and Gingerbread Dreams for you, and sat at a corner booth by the window, talking about nothing in particular for awhile while you ate.
Damn are those actual flavors in the series or did u just think of them. Slayed. Loathe to eat either tho HAHAAHA
“Good, I’m really glad to hear that. Now, let me try your ice cream.” He waggled his spoon and you laughed, sliding it towards him. He took the tiniest spoonful, flipping it over to lick it off, and your cheeks warmed at the way his tongue caressed the curve of the spoon.
?????? HELLO????. #1 ☝️ idc if ur brother died in not sharing my ice cream (JK JK WE COULD SHARE DNA AND MAKE A BABY I LOVE YOU) #2 ✌️ *inhale* WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
“Can you blame me? I’m sitting across from my dream woman,” he replied, grinning.
Case in point. Rizzler!George
Sugary peppermint and creamy marshmallow coated your tongue, and you moaned.
????? QUEEEE MAMACITA???? MOANED I mean sure but like??? IN FRONT OF GEORGE IS CRAZY (I understand you)
“I’ve been wanting to kiss you since I saw you watching the carolers,” he murmured, sliding his glove off and reaching out to cradle your face, his touch gentle, giving you every opportunity to pull away.
🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵RIZZLER!GEORGE WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT COME HERE GIMME KITH
He loosed a pleased hum, leaning forward to capture your lips in another, slower kiss. “Like hearin’ you call me baby,” he mumbled against your mouth.
I'll give you a baby
But then he withdrew what appeared to be a toy airplane that would in no way, shape, or form fit in that pocket without magic. Your brothers face lit up when George threw it in the air and it started to fly, ducking and whizzing around the room.
He pulled out a bouncing ball, then a rubber chicken, a set of chattering teeth, a stuffed teddy bear. Item after item came out of his pockets until your brothers bed was covered in toys and gag items, and a dozen nurses were watching in amazement from the hallway. You and your mom were fighting through silent tears, your heart so big you felt it might explode out of your chest.
I would NAWT be silently sobbing. I would be on the floor bawling
Most importantly, your brother was ecstatic, playing with this and that and chattering away at George about the different products and teaching him how to do magic tricks George himself had invented.
THEE George Weasely 😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹 lil bro will freak if they ever have a genetic collaboration (if he lives that long)
“I miss him,” George gasped like he was in pain, his grip almost bruising around your body.
🫵you🫵 meet me outside. Send your location. I just want to talk. Shhh shhhh don't fight it (fiGHT ME)
Id give you a 10/10 but you killed Fred so 0/10 I'm sorry I don't make the rules. Idc if this got me geeking. YOU KNOW WHAT ACTUALLY FINE YOU CAN HAVE 10/10 YOU MADE ME FEEL NOTHING. I FEEL NOTHING
A Christmas Gift | G.W.
“That's what happens when you love someone,” George replied, smiling. “You want to protect them from anything that might hurt them, even if you know you can't.”
feat. George Weasley x fem!reader
SUMMARY: You go to Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes to pick out a Christmas gift for your ailing little brother, who adored the shop (and the twins) before he became too ill to go. You find a gift and so much more than you ever dreamed of.
CW: this is really emotional, i’m sorry, but i pinky promise that it has a happyish ending. fred is dead, grief, hurt/comfort, hospital visits, sick sibling/children, some swearing, but also some fun and lightheartedness, plenty of christmasy fluff, first kisses
AN: last Christmas fic of the season!
The early morning snow buffeted at your back as you stepped into Weasely Wizard Wheezes. The store had just opened, you saw someone turn the sign as you finished your breakfast at the Three Broomsticks, but you wanted to beat the holiday rush so you could really take your time.
The smell of cinnamon and woodsmoke, plastic toys and what could only be described as joy, welcomed you inside. An enormous Christmas tree hung upside down from the ceiling, decorated in orange, purple, and gold, with handmade ornaments over every branch and popcorn strings strewn around it. Every shelf was stocked and festively decorated, and soft Christmas music played from the speakers.
You stopped in the doorway, tears welling in your eyes. Your brother would love this. You had hoped that he’d be having a good day today, that maybe, by some miracle, he’d be well enough to come with you. But he’d spiked a fever late last night, and was going in for some imaging today to ensure he hadn’t caught pneumonia…again.
“Morning,” a voice called to you, and you looked up, hastily wiping tears on your sleeve. George Weasley, a man you’d never met but would recognize anywhere, was halfway down the spiral staircase, a cup of coffee in hand. He was dressed in the iconic pinstripe suit, his copper hair a little longer than the last time you’d seen him two years prior, not that he’d remember.
The only reason you remembered was because of your brothers obsession with the Weasley twins. He’d asked to have his hair cut and dyed orange that same afternoon.
More tears welled up, and you cursed yourself, turning away to hide your face. “I’m sorry,” you sniffled, trying to take a deep breath. “I promise I’m not insane.”
You heard him move the rest of the way down the stairs, then approach you, his tall frame taking him across the store in a few strides. He had a bright purple handkerchief in his hand, the triple W embroidered on the corner.
“That’s okay, we like a little insanity around here. What’s your name?” he asked, his voice soft.
“Y/n.” You accepted the handkerchief with a watery smile and dabbed your eyes.
“George. Are you alright, y/n?” he asked.
You sighed, twisting the fabric in your hands. “The holiday’s are just hard.”
He nodded, his jaw flexing, eyes averting from your face to the floor. “Yeah,” he said, his voice rougher than it had been a moment before. You noticed then the dark circles under his eyes, the air of heaviness around his shoulders. “Can I help you find something?” he asked, pivoting quickly.
“Yes, actually. I’m, uh, looking for a gift for my little brother. But he—it has to be something he can play with in bed. Nothing too loud or messy.” Your heart ached as you said it, knowing he would actually love something loud, messy, destructive, as little boys do, but such things weren’t allowed at St. Mungo’s.
George raised an eyebrow. “Strict parents?”
You shook your head, swallowing around the lump in your throat. “He’s in hospital,” you murmured, hating saying the words aloud.
George’s face fell. “Oh—Merlin, I’m really sorry.”
A flicker of understanding passed between you, your broken hearts beating at the same rhythm for a moment. You knew about the death of his twin, Fred, everyone did, and now he knew your pain as well. That knowledge weaved an invisible string of connection between you, forged in empathy.
“We can absolutely find something for him,” George said, his voice painfully sincere. He offered you his arm and you accepted, needing a bit of steadiness. “What kind of things does he like?”
You started to walk through the store, looking around the towering shelves, at a bit of a loss. “Well, he loves Whizz-bangs, and your Pyrotechtrix.”
George smiled, chuckling to himself. “Fun, but not exactly suitable for a hospital.”
“Exactly. But honestly, anything you recommended, he’d absolutely adore, so long as I told him you recommended it.”
“Oh yeah?” George raised an eyebrow, glancing down at you.
Saints, he’s handsome.
“Yeah, he’s a big fan. He used to beg us to stop in every time we came to Diagon Alley so he could watch your demonstrations.”
George’s smile widened, a flush creeping up his neck. “Well, ah, that’s really—” he scratched the back of his head, clearly flustered by the revelation. “That’s very kind,” he managed with a breathy chuckle.
The door jingled as another customer came in and you tensed, George’s eye flicking towards the new customer, then back down to you.
You moved to slip your arm from his. “I can look around, you go ahead—”
“Oi, Ron!” George shouted, a hand cupped around his mouth, his arm tightening around yours so you stayed put.
“What? I’m sorting inventory!” Ron Weasley shouted back, appearing from the back of the store with arms full of boxes. His eyes quickly scanned over you, your joined arms, then back to George, who was nodding his head towards the door. “Welcome to Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes!” Ron turned greeted the customer, dropping the boxes where he stood.
You chuckled, leaning a bit closer to George, grateful that he didn’t abandon you.
“You’re my first priority today,” he murmured to you, close enough that you could smell his amber cologne, and you felt your anxiety unspool for the first time in weeks. For this one thing, this small, Christmas gift hunt, you weren’t alone.
You spent the rest of the morning with George, wandering through aisle after aisle as he talked you through every product you showed an interest in. At first, he seemed reluctant to talk about products with stories tied to Fred, like prodding a sore wound, but eventually he was telling story after story, grinning and laughing at the memories of their countless antics.
He encouraged you to share about your brother as well, and by the end, you were both in stitches from laughing, cheeks sore and eyes watery with tears. It warmed your heart to see him light up at the his brother’s memory, to see the love between them still very much burning, and soothed a bit of your fear.
No matter what happened, the love and the memories would remain.
You finally settled on an Aviatomobile and a few muggle magic tricks, nothing explosive, sticky, or illness-causing. George carried the items to the counter, setting them gently on surface, but hesitated when he reached for the register.
He turned, grabbing a gift box from beneath the counter. Carefully, he wrapped each item in branded tissue paper and nestled them into the box, then rearranged them once, then twice, before finally placing the lid and tying an orange bow around it. Then, he grabbed one of the paper ornaments from the counter, where kids could write little messages or drawings to hang on the gravity-defying Christmas tree, and scribbled something on it before securing it to the bow.
“There we go,” he said, pushing it towards you with a sheepish smile.
You reached for you wallet. “How much do I—”
He shook his head, waving you off. “It’s on me. Least I can do for an avid supporter.”
Tears burned behind your eyes again, caught off guard by his generosity. “George, I can’t—”
“Please, just—let me do this for your brother.” George’s eyes held yours, soft around the corners. “It’s what Fred would do.”
You nodded, unable to speak through the lump in your throat.
“Would you want to, uh, maybe get a drink later? Or coffee?” He asked, rubbing the back of his neck, freckled cheeks flushing pink.
You smiled, your heart flipping in your chest. “I’d love to. We could get ice cream at Fortescue's?” You offered.
He smiled back. “Perfect. 7 o’clock?”
“Perfect,” you repeated, fighting a nervous giggle. “I’ll see you later, then.” You hefted the box in your arms and waved goodbye, hurrying out before you said anything embarrassing, or melted into a puddle of goo on the floor.
Halfway down the street, you finally glanced at the paper ornament George attached to the gift.
Sorry, mate. No explosive’s. Sister’s orders. But I’ve got a stash in the back waiting for you when you’re ready. Merry Christmas. - GW
You were fizzing with excitement as you approached the ice cream shop, a soft flurry of snowflakes dancing int the twinkle lights strew across Diagon Alley. Vendors were at every corner, selling steaming beverages, candied nuts, and fried dough. Shoppers wandered from glowing door to glowing door, bundled in thick coats and arms laden with bags. A choir sang Christmas carols on the steps of Gringotts, toads wearing Santa hats cradled in their arms, and you paused to listen while they sang “Carol of the Bells”, trying to collect your scattered mind.
You hadn’t stopped thinking about George for a moment, so wound up that you started getting ready three hours early for a simple ice cream date. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt so giddy, so hopeful.
“I like this song,” a familiar voice murmured in your ear and you looked up, finding George standing beside you watching the carolers, the lights reflecting in his brown eyes. He was dressed in a brown wool coat with a Gryffindor scarf around his neck, a white, cable knit sweater and jeans underneath, patches on the knees.
“Me too,” you replied, biting your lips to stop the grin threatening to rise. “How was your day?”
“Chaos. I left Ron to deal with the stragglers. We were supposed to close around six…” he trailed off, his eyes catching on a group of wizards. You followed his eye, and were appalled to find them muttering and pointing at him. And when you looked around, you noticed several groups were doing the same.
Instinctively, you moved closer to him, as if you could shield him somehow.
His fingers twined with yours, warm and calloused. “It’s alright,” he said, turning you to face him. “M’used to it.”
“It’s not alright,” you said, raising your voice and directing a pointed glare at the noisy folks. “It’s rude!”
He chuckled, tugging you away from the carolers. “Easy, love. It doesn’t bother me much anymore. Don’t give them any of your attention.”
You sighed, falling into step beside him, hands still clasped together. “I’m sorry they treat you like that,” you said, glaring daggers at anyone that even glanced in his direction while you walked towards Fortescue's.
“It was worse when we first reopened the shop.” His thumb swiped back and forth across yours, soothing the irritation itching under your skin. “They would come in just to get a look at me. Like my grief was some kind of spectator sport.”
“I can’t imagine having that kind of loss broadcast to the entire world,” you said, glancing at a newspaper stand plastered in the Daily Prophet.
“It’s inhumane,” he replied, stopping in front of the ice cream shop. “But, I’m grateful for it too.”
You raised an eyebrow, facing him in the warm glow of the window.
“Everyone knows how amazing he was,” he murmured, his voice thickening with emotion. He looked down at your joined hands, playing with your fingers. “He’s a hero.”
You squeezed his hand, prompting him to look up at you. “So are you, George," you said, inflecting as much sincerity as you could into your voice. "Y’know, I was there that day, when you and Fred left Hogwarts?”
His eyes widened. “You were?”
You nodded. “I was two years under you, we wouldn’t have crossed paths,” you said, trying to assuage the needless guilt that crossed his face. “But I’ll never forget that moment, watching you guys reclaim the magic that makes Hogwarts, well, Hogwarts. You inspired all of us left behind.”
He gave you a sad smile, his eyes shiny with unshed tears, and brought your knuckles to his lips, brushing a kiss across them. “Thank you for telling me that,” he whispered. “You didn’t get burned, did you?” He asked, worry suddenly creasing his brow.
You giggled. “No, no. No one was hurt besides Umbridge's ego.”
He exhaled, flashing a relieved smile. “Okay, good. Because that would have been a terrible first impression.” He opened the door to the ice cream shop, gesturing for you to step inside.
“My first impression was when you turned Ms. Norris purple during the Halloween feast,” you said, stepping past him and into line, the smell of waffle cones and caramel wafting over you.
George barked a laugh, his head falling back with the force of it, and you smiled. “Better, I suppose.”
“It’s not like I made a great first impression on you, weeping like a sap as soon as I stepped into your store,” you joked, too busy gazing up at his smiling face to notice the line move forward without you.
He shook his head, still chuckling. “No, it was a perfect first impression.”
You ordered your bowls of ice cream, Peppermint Marshmallow Mayhem for George and Gingerbread Dreams for you, and sat at a corner booth by the window, talking about nothing in particular for awhile while you ate.
“So, how’s your brother doing today? You mentioned he had some imaging this afternoon?” George asked, genuine concern creasing his brow.
“He’s doing well, actually. No pneumonia, by Godric’s grace, and his fever broke this afternoon. Still not sure what caused it, but hopefully nothing of concern,” you answered, you heart lifting at his relieved smile.
“Good, I’m really glad to hear that. Now, let me try your ice cream.” He waggled his spoon and you laughed, sliding it towards him. He took the tiniest spoonful, flipping it over to lick it off, and your cheeks warmed at the way his tongue caressed the curve of the spoon.
You knew you were caught when he smirked around the utensil, but he let it slide.
“Here, try mine.” He dug a spoonful out of his bowl, holding it out for you to take a bite with a borderline sinful look in his eye.
“George Weasley,” you teased, shaking your head. “You are such a flirt.”
“Can you blame me? I’m sitting across from my dream woman,” he replied, grinning.
Now your cheeks were really warming, and you leaned forward to take a small bite off the edge of his spoon. Sugary peppermint and creamy marshmallow coated your tongue, and you moaned.
“Good?” he asked, raising a brow.
“Delicious,” you giggled, watching as he ate the rest of the spoonful, and wondered how it would taste on his tongue.
After ice cream, you continued wandering around Diagon Alley, peeking in all the shop windows and sipping warm butter beer, until your noses were pink from the chill, your hair full of glittering snow.
You stopped outside of his shop, the sign flipped to ‘closed’ and only a few lights on inside along with the exterior holiday decor, presumably left on for George.
“I have a confession to make,” he said, stepping a little closer to you.
Your heart pounded in your chest, a thrill of excitement pulsing through you. “What?” You asked, picking invisible lint of his lapel just to have something to do with your hands.
“I’ve been wanting to kiss you since I saw you watching the carolers,” he murmured, sliding his glove off and reaching out to cradle your face, his touch gentle, giving you every opportunity to pull away.
You leaned your head into his large palm, gazing up at him, freckled, flushed, and starry-eyed. You’d never seen someone look at you with adoration before, and it made your soul sing.
Instead of saying anything, you rose onto your toes and pressed your lips to his, a quick, airy peck. But when you went to move back, his hand held you in place, lips just barely touching.
“Again,” he breathed, his other hand coming around to rest on your lower back. “Please?”
You gave the tiniest nod, feeling like your heart might burst out of your chest, and his lips connected with yours again in a slow, languid kiss, the taste of ice cream and butter beer and him making your head go a little fuzzy, your right foot popping up behind you as you leaned into his embrace.
His tongue caressed the seam of your mouth, but he didn’t push further, just a small tease before winding the kiss down until it ended the way it started, with a few barely-there pecks in reluctant departure.
You sighed against him, lowering back onto flat feet, and he smiled, drawing you into his chest for hug. You slipped you arms under his coat, feeling the softness of his sweater and the warmth of his body envelop you.
“Thank you for this,” you murmured. “I really, really needed it.”
He pressed a kiss to the top of your head, his arms tight around your body. “So did I. Can we do it again tomorrow? Breakfast? Sunrise picnic?”
You chuckled, tilting your chin up to rest on his sternum. “Breakfast sounds great.”
George beamed, dropping a warm kiss to the frozen tip of your nose. “I’ll pick you up at nine?”
“It’s a date.” You stole one last kiss before slipping away, practically skipping.
You and George saw each other every day for the next week, whether it was to wander around Diagon Alley, looking at the lights and festivities, or grabbing a quick cup of tea between busy shifts. Neither of you could stand being apart for more than a few hours at a time.
Tonight, George invited you to his flat for dinner and muggle Christmas films, and you were dressed in the ugliest Christmas sweater you could find. With a timid hand, you knocked on his door.
It opened under you fist, revealing George on the other side, wearing a maroon sweater with a giant ‘G’ on the front of it and a sauce splattered apron.
“Hey, love.” He tugged you inside, pressing an eager kiss to your lips before ushering you down the hall, his deft fingers unraveling your scarf from your neck and peeling the coat from your shoulders. You laughed at his haste, spinning and hopping as he removed your boots. He stopped only when he finally saw your sweater. “Oh, darling. You look ravishing.” His hands fell to your waist and he pulled you into his chest, a mischievous grin on his face. “Very fashion forward.”
“Thank you, baby,” you giggled, wrapping your arms around his neck. You hadn’t called him that before, but it just rolled right off your tongue, natural as breathing.
He loosed a pleased hum, leaning forward to capture your lips in another, slower kiss. “Like hearin’ you call me baby,” he mumbled against your mouth.
The oven beeped loudly, startling you both.
“Hungry?” He asked with a shy smile.
“Starved.”
He showed you to the dining room, a round table with a vase of flowers at the center, candles strewn on every surface. He pulled a chair out for you and you sat, accepting a kiss on the cheek before he dashed back into the kitchen.
You looked around, having been too caught up in his frantic greeting to take in the space. The rest of the flat was sparsely decorated, purely functional, besides a sagging bookshelf in the living room, and a few photos along the hallway. Not a Christmas decoration was in sight.
George returned with two glasses of wine, the bottle tucked under his arm. “Here we go, a little Pinot Noir for my gorgeous girl.” He set the glasses down then finally sat down in his chair.
“Thank you, baby,” you teased, and he smirked, withdrawing his wand from his apron and waving it towards the kitchen. A moment later, a giant bowl full of pasta, a basket of bread, a salad bowl, and two plates came hovering out of the kitchen, arranging themselves neatly on the table.
“Bon appetite.” He raised his wine glass, a shy little smile on his face, and you raised yours to cheers, so charmed you could cry.
Two hours later, you were curled up on George’s couch, half enjoying Home Alone, half enjoying the feel of each other’s skin under your sweaters, the rich taste of wine on each other’s tongues.
“How come you haven't decorated for Christmas?” You mumbled between languid pecks, his soft lips moving to trail over your jaw.
“Didn't much feel like celebrating this year,” he replied, kissing down your neck, his tongue tracing your pulse.
“And yet here we are, watching corny holiday films,” you chuckled and felt him smile against your neck.
“Things changed.” He lifted his head, capturing your lips in a heavy, open-mouthed kiss that made your blood warm, your heart beat a little quicker in your chest.
Suddenly, something slammed against the window, a frantic scrabbling against glass that had George springing up like something electrocuted him.
“Errol?” George moved toward the window. “No, what the fuck—”
“Oh my god, what are you doing here?!” You cried, jumping up and throwing open the window. Your family owl flew in, landing on the back of the couch. Fear pumped through you and you snatched the letter from his beak, rougher than the poor bird deserved in your panic.
“What is it?” George rested his hands on your hips as you tore it open.
The words on the card made your heart stop.
Mungo’s now, Mum
“George,” you whimpered, sagging against him as terror rocked through you.
He took the letter from your hand and skimmed it. “Go get your coat on, I’ll take you.”
“I—” You were frozen, darkness pulsing at the edges of your vision.
His hands came up to hold your face, shaking you gently. “Honey, we have to go. I’m going to be right here with you, okay? We’re going together. But we have to move now.”
You nodded, clawing through the sludge of fear and clinging to the thread of stability he offered. He helped you into your coat and shooed the owl out, not even bothering to lock up before he was ushering you into his chest.
“Hold onto me,” he ordered, and you did, and suddenly the world was sucked away, a dizzying, horrible tornado of space, and then it spit you back out on the front steps of St. Mungo’s.
“Holy shit,” you gagged, clutching onto George and he held you upright.
“Sorry, love. Never apparated before?” He asked, rubbing your back.
You shook your head.
“Y/n!”
George stiffened, his hands tightening on you, and you looked up.
“Mum!” You cried, rushing to her.
“Oh, hun. I’m sorry to frighten you, he’s okay. Just a scare. I’m so sorry, darling,” she cried, clinging to you.
“Sh, no, it’s alright. I should be here,” you soothed, squeezing your eyes shut to stop the tears from falling. “What happened?”
“He couldn’t breathe, his lungs—pneumonia again,” your mom hiccuped, wiping at her cheeks. “Who’s that?” She asked, looking over your shoulder.
George was were you had left him, hands stuffed in his pockets, his eyes bouncing from you and your mom to the strangers mingling on the sidewalk. You could tell his hackles were raised, some protective instinct roused when he’d been startled by the owl.
You waved him over. “Mum, this is George Weasley. George, this is my mum.”
“Pleasure to meet you,” George said, offering her a hand and a shy smile.
She clutched his hand hard and you both winced. “I-you-Weasley—The George Weasley?” She gasped.
“Just George is fine,” he said with a nervous chuckle.
“Oh my, I just can't believe—”
“Mum, can we go see him now?” You interrupted, anxious to see that he was well yourself. “I promise you'll have a proper introduction later.”
“Yes, of course. This way.” She released George and grabbed your hand, pulling you towards the hospital.
George hesitated, until you reached your hand out to him. He immediately threaded your fingers together, falling into step with your frantic mother.
A few moments later, you rushed into your brother's room, finding him upright and smiling, some new tubes in his little nose, but all together looking well.
“Mum, I said to leave her alone!” He argued, crossing his arms over his reindeer pj's.
“Hush you,” you scolded lightly, wrapping him up in a hug and kissing his forehead, noting his lingering fever. “How are you feeling, darling?” You asked, pulling back to hold his face.
“M'okay. They let me have some ice lollies earlier!” He chirped, sticking out his neon blue tongue.
You grinned. “I see, that's excellent.”
He opened his mouth to say something else, but then you saw his eyes widen, mouth falling open in shock. You turned to see what he was looking at and realized it was George, who was loitering in the doorway.
“Is that—” your brother started, and George looked up. “Wizard—Wizard Wheezes!”
George’s solemn expression shattered into a wide smile as he stepped into the room, his energy shifting instantly. “Hello, mate! I’m George. Heard your not feeling so good?” George reached out to shake his little hand, and he took it, his fingers dwarfed by George's palm.
“No, no. I'm fine!” Your brother replied, shock melting into excitement. “What are you doing here?”
George glanced down at you. “Your sister has been telling me all about you, and how strong you've been lately,” he said, crouching down beside the bed. “She loves you a lot, y’know?”
You stepped out of the way, tears starting to burn behind your eyes. Your mother slipped her hand into yours, watching the interaction with a hand pressed to her mouth.
“I know, but she worries too much,” your brother answered, and George burst out laughing.
“That's what happens when you love someone,” George replied, smiling. “You want to protect them from anything that might hurt them, even if you know you can't.”
“I’m big like you, I don't need protecting!” He argued.
George nodded, pressing a hand to his chest apologetically. “I can tell. But that doesn't mean they don't want to try anyways. And big guys like us have to protect them in return, yeah?”
Your brother nodded, puffing up his chest. “I'll never let anything happen to my sister. I promise!”
You blew him a kiss, and George gave him a high five.
“That's my buddy. Now, let's see if I've got anything special for heroes like you.” George fished around in his pocket, making dramatic faces while he rummaged in what you thought was an empty pocket.
But then he withdrew what appeared to be a toy airplane that would in no way, shape, or form fit in that pocket without magic. Your brothers face lit up when George threw it in the air and it started to fly, ducking and whizzing around the room.
“Hm, that wasn't what I was looking for,” George said with a dramatic frown, and you giggled. He glanced over his shoulder at you, breaking his frown to smirk at your reaction, and started fishing around in his pockets again.
He pulled out a bouncing ball, then a rubber chicken, a set of chattering teeth, a stuffed teddy bear. Item after item came out of his pockets until your brothers bed was covered in toys and gag items, and a dozen nurses were watching in amazement from the hallway. You and your mom were fighting through silent tears, your heart so big you felt it might explode out of your chest.
Most importantly, your brother was ecstatic, playing with this and that and chattering away at George about the different products and teaching him how to do magic tricks George himself had invented.
But half an hour later, your brother’s nurse came in to administer some of his medication and get him ready for bed. He tried to protest, but his new best friend, George, managed to talk him into not only compliance, but eager acceptance of his medicine.
You stole George away into the now quiet hall, Christmas lights illuminating the dark corridor, and threw your arms around his shoulders, burying your face into his neck, needing to feel him close, to ground you through the onslaught of emotions.
He wrapped his arms around you, his head turning to kiss your temple. “Need some air?” He murmured, and you shook your head no.
“Just need you,” you whispered, holding him tighter.
He let you cry into his shoulder, rubbing soothing circles onto your back and murmuring reassurances into your hair. When you'd exhausted yourself, you pulled back and he reached up to hold your face, wiping your tears with his thumbs.
“Thank you for doing that,” you sniffled, sliding your hands down his chest, his sweater soft beneath your palms.
“It was my pleasure, love,” he replied, looking you in the eye. “You—him—this, I needed this. Needed you,” he breathed, voice tightening. “I forgot why we did it all, what all the sacrifices were for, and you reminded me. He reminded me.”
You rose on your toes to press a kiss to his lips, not knowing how else to express how you were feeling that wasn't, well, insanely soon.
He kissed you back, passionate enough to steal your breath, but released you when the door to your brother's room opened.
“Darling—oh, I'm sorry. Darling, would you like to come get a cup of coffee with me?” Your mother asked, clearly fighting a grin at discovering you.
“Sure, mum,” you exhaled, reluctantly stepping away from George. “You okay for a minute?”
“Absolutely, I'll keep an eye on him.” He pressed a kiss to your knuckles before releasing you to your mother, a soft smile on his face.
When you returned twenty minutes later, you found George stretched out in the arm chair pulled up right next to your brother’s bed, Rudolph on the television.
“—Fred managed to get the deer into the kitchen with some carrots and loaf of banana bread, and kept him distracted while I tied bells and ornaments—mom’s favorite’s, of course—to it’s antlers.”
Your brother was giggling, curled up with the stuffed bear George conjured earlier, his eyes heavy as he fought to stay awake to hear the story.
“But then we ran out of banana bread and Fred tried to give it some cookies, but by then the deer had discovered the Christmas tree in the corner, with the popcorn strings and cranberries and salt dough ornaments, y’know? So the deer started eating the bloody Christmas tree and we cannot get it out of the house now. It’s found the best sodding snack on earth. So by the time my mom get’s home, half the tree is gone, there’s shi—dirt all over the house, dishes are broken, holes in the walls—”
“What did she do?” Your mom asked, laughing. “I would have sent you out to live with the deer and it’s family.”
George grinned. “We ate nothing but carrots and banana bread for a week. Even for Christmas dinner. It was torture,” he chuckled, turning back to your brother, only to find him sound asleep. “That boring, huh?” He joked, rising from the chair so your mom could take it. But instead, she pulled him in for a hug, surprising him.
“Thank you for doing this, and I’m so sorry about your brother. But I know he’d be so proud of you today,” she murmured, and you saw George’s eyes well, his jaw flexing as he tried to fight it. Your mom pulled back, pressing a kiss to his cheek, then smoothing away her lipstick with her thumb. “You’re a wonderful, wonderful man, George Weasley. And I’m so glad you’re here.”
He nodded, a tear streaking down his face. “Thank you, ma’am. That’s very k-kind.”
Your mother passed him to you, his hand gripping your tightly as he fought to keep his composure. “Goodnight, mum. I’ll see you in the morning?”
Your mother nodded, waving you away while she kissed your brothers cheek.
You led George out of the room and down the hall, finding an empty room to slip into. As soon as the door closed behind you, he sank to his knees, great, heaving sobs wracking his body. You lowered yourself to the ground with him, pulling his head into your shoulder and rocking him back and forth, his tears soaking through your sweater and shaking your whole body.
“I miss him,” George gasped like he was in pain, his grip almost bruising around your body.
“I know, baby. I know you do,” you said into his hair, holding his head against your chest. Your own tears began to spill then, for him, for you, for your family, and his, and you clung to one another as the overwhelming grief took it’s pound of flesh.
Slowly, he began to settle, breathing labored, but his tears subsiding. He lifted his head, looking at you through tear-brightened eyes, his lashes dark and spiked with moisture. You leaned forward, kissing away the droplets on his cheeks and jaw, until you felt him start to smile.
“I-it’s been so long since I—” he cleared his throat, reaching up to cup your face, wiping away your tears with his thumb. “I was numb for awhile, so long I sort of forgot what anything else felt like. I meant what I said earlier, you reminded me of what I’d lost, but in the best way.” Tears welled up again, but he smiled through them. “He would have been so fucking jealous that I got you. But Merlin, he would have loved you so much.”
You huffed a laugh, lower lip trembling as your heart soared. “George,” was all you could manage, and he leaned forward to kiss you, rising onto his knees and pulling into into his chest.
Then, that wild spinning sensation enveloped you again, and in a blink you were back on his couch, exactly as you were before, the credits to the movie rolling on the screen, your glasses of wine exactly where you left them.
“Stay with me tonight,” he asked, trailing kisses down your neck as you reoriented yourself. “Tomorrow’s Christmas Eve, we could spend it together.” He lifted his head to look you in the eyes, and you nodded eagerly.
“Yeah,” you said, laughing as he rained kisses over your face. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Thank you so much for reading!
I hope you have the most wonderful holiday season and start of the new year <3
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*ੈ✩Sorry Bestie, I love you *ੈ✩
*ੈ✩Pairing - Han Jisung × Fem Reader
*ੈ✩Plot - After being stood up for the fifth time this year, you've had enough of serial date ghosting. Just when you were about to leave, your best friend Han, whom you vented to , texts back saying to wait because he's coming to meet you. But Han left for another city eight years ago and when he shows up, you're shocked to see your quirky best has turned into someone undeniably hot!
*ੈ✩Genre - Angst, comedy, fluff
*ੈ✩Warnings - Dramatic comedic duo, non idol au, best friends to lovers au, angst, hurt to comfort
*ੈ✩Word Count - 10.7 K *ੈ✩Screenshot Count - 4
*ੈ✩A/N - Episode 5 of Staymas is here! This best friends-to-lovers tale will have you laughing, crying, and dreaming. Dive into this heartwarming and classic tale, albeit a little cliché! you won’t want to miss it! ( This is just slightly proofread so apologies for any mistakes 🙂↕️ )
*ੈ✩ SKZ Masterlist *ੈ✩ STAYMAS Masterlist
The candle flickers, the breeze teasing its flame. You try not to look at the empty chair across from you, but it’s impossible to ignore. Five times this year. A record, really. Maybe it’s time to quit dating altogether.
You grab your bag to leave, but your phone buzzes on the table. Glancing at the screen, you see his name....
You frown at the screen. Typical Jisung...cryptic, over-the-top, dramatic. Your fingers hover over the keyboard, debating whether to humor him. But something about his insistence makes you hesitate.
After waiting 20 minutes you were about to respond when the café door swings open. The sound barely registers...it’s a busy place, after all...but then you see him.
And for a moment, your brain stalls.
There he is: Han Jisung.
But not the Jisung you remember - the nerdy kid with mismatched socks and perpetually broken earbuds. No, this version of Jisung looks… different. Sharper. His jawline catches the soft glow of the café lights, and his tailored jacket makes him look almost regal.
When his eyes meet yours, he grins, the same mischievous spark lighting his face. “Hey,” he says, sliding into the seat across from you. “Sorry I’m late.”
“Jisung,” you manage, your voice barely above a whisper. “What are you doing here? You live miles away in Busan!”
“I moved back to Seoul months ago,” he says casually, leaning back. “Didn’t I tell you?”
“No!”
“Oops,” he says unapologetically. “Anyway, I couldn’t let you sit here alone. You deserve better than some no-show loser.”
You stare at him, still trying to process. “You’re unbelievable.”
“I know. That’s why you love me.”
You roll your eyes, but your lips twitch upward despite yourself. “You’re insufferable.”
“And yet, here I am,” he replies, his tone light but his gaze warm.
“Why, Ji? You didn’t teleport just to crash my pity party.”
Jisung leans forward, a smirk playing on his lips. “When my best friend texts saying their night sucks, I can’t not show up. Besides,” he adds with a mock whisper, “it’s been too long since I’ve played knight in shining armor.”
You snort, trying to ignore the way your heart skips at his words. “If you’re the knight, I’m doomed. What’s your grand plan? Order dessert and roast my date?”
“First, dessert is mandatory. Second, roasting is a given. But I was thinking bigger.”
You arch a brow. “Bigger? Like what?”
He rubs his chin in mock contemplation. “Storm their workplace and give them a lecture on human decency? Or better yet, I’ll write a diss track. Something like, ‘Ghosted Five Times, but I’m Still Fine.’”
You burst out laughing. “Please don’t. The world doesn’t need a breakup anthem about my tragic love life.”
“Too late,” he says, pretending to take notes. “Verse one: ‘Left her at the rooftop café, but she’s too hot for your games anyway.’ Instant hit.”
“Ridiculous,” you say, still laughing.
“And yet, you’re smiling,” he points out, grinning wider.
You shake your head, but the heaviness you felt earlier is fading, replaced by Jisung’s familiar warmth.
“Okay, fine,” you say, gesturing to the menu. “If you’re the hero, you’re buying dessert.”
“Done,” he says, scanning the menu. “But we’re sharing.”
“Deal. But I’m ordering the biggest slice.”
“Bold of you to assume I’d expect less.”
As the waiter approaches, you realize something...this moment, sitting here with Jisung, feels better than any date you’ve had in years.
And that thought terrifies you.
----------------------------------------------------------
The waiter sets down the slice of tiramisu, its rich layers of cream and coffee-soaked cake practically glowing under the café lights. Jisung doesn’t even wait for the plate to settle before scooping up a massive bite.
“Hey!” you protest, swatting at his hand with your fork. “We agreed to share, not for you to inhale the whole thing!”
“Sharing is caring,” he says through a mouthful, utterly unrepentant. “Besides, you said you wanted the biggest slice, not the biggest bite. Details matter.”
You roll your eyes but can’t suppress the laugh that escapes. “You’re impossible.”
“And yet, you’ve kept me around all these years.” He winks, his cheek now smudged with a bit of whipped cream.
“You’ve got something on your face, genius,” you say, pointing vaguely at his cheek.
“Here?” He swipes at the wrong side.
“No, the other side.”
“Here?” He misses again, managing to smear the whipped cream further.
“Give me that.” You grab a napkin and lean across the table to clean his cheek.
Jisung freezes, his playful grin fading as you get closer. Your hand pauses, and for a brief moment, you’re hyper-aware of how near you are. His gaze locks with yours, the teasing light in his eyes softening. The sounds of the café blur into a quiet hum, leaving only the weight of the moment.
Then, just as suddenly, it’s gone.
“There,” you say, sitting back and tossing the napkin onto the table. “Crisis averted.”
“Thanks, Mom,” he teases, but his voice is gentler now, his smile smaller yet no less warm.
You look away, focusing on your fork as you take a bite of the tiramisu. The sweetness melts on your tongue, but the lingering heat of his gaze lingers heavier than the dessert.
“So,” you say, eager to steer the conversation back to safer ground, “are you going to tell me why you didn’t mention moving back to Seoul? Or were you planning to keep it a secret forever?”
He shrugs, casually taking another bite. “I wanted it to be a surprise. You know me...I live for dramatic entrances.”
“Mission accomplished,” you mutter. “I still can’t believe you’re here.”
“Believe it,” he says, leaning back and crossing his arms. “I’m not going anywhere this time.”
His words hang in the air, heavier than you expect. You glance at him, and for a moment, you see the boy he used to be...the one who chased you through the hallways, who promised nothing would ever come between you....
----------------------------------------------------------
It was a rainy Monday morning. The kind that begged you to stay under the covers and forget the world existed. But skipping class wasn’t an option when you were already on the brink of being dropped for "excessive tardiness." So, there you were, sprinting through the maze of your university’s sprawling campus, clutching your bag to your chest and praying you’d slip into the lecture hall unnoticed.
As you rounded a corner, moving far too quickly for the slippery tile floor, disaster struck. You slammed straight into something— or someone. The impact sent you staggering, and before you could process what had happened, books, papers, and color-coded notes exploded into the air, raining down like confetti in a very unfortunate parade.
“Oh my God! I’m so sorry!” you blurted, dropping to your knees to gather the mess. Your heart was pounding from the sprint...and now from the mortification. So much for keeping a low profile.
“It’s fine,” came a calm, slightly irritated voice.
Looking up, you froze. Of all people, it had to be Han Jisung, the department’s golden boy. His reputation as a straight-A student was almost mythical, the kind of person who turned in assignments early and still managed to ace everything. Even now, in the chaos, he looked annoyingly put together. His navy sweater was pristine, his hair somehow immune to the rain outside, and his expression was a mix of disbelief and mild exasperation.
“Maybe,” he said, crouching down to gather his notes, “you should slow down next time.”
“Right. Slow down. Got it,” you muttered, cheeks burning as you handed him a stack of papers. “I wasn’t looking where I was going. Sorry again.”
His eyebrows lifted slightly, his gaze flicking to yours. “Thanks. Wait… do I know you?”
“You should,” you said before you could stop yourself. “I’m the one who almost blew up the chemistry lab during first-year practicals.”
Recognition flickered in his eyes, followed by amusement. “Oh. You’re that person.”
You grinned sheepishly. “The one and only. In my defense, the safety instructions were... vague.”
“That’s a generous interpretation,” he said, the corner of his mouth twitching upward as he resumed organizing his notes with practiced precision.
“And you’re Han Jisung,” you added, as though it wasn’t obvious. “Everyone knows you. You’re basically the poster child for academic perfection.”
“And you’re the one who thought shaking the vending machine would make it dispense two drinks at once,” he countered, his tone dry but laced with humor.
“That worked,” you retorted, smiling. “It just wasn’t worth the bruises.”
To your surprise, he laughed, an unguarded, genuine laugh that softened his polished exterior. For a moment, the intimidating image of Han Jisung melted away, replaced by someone far more approachable.
“Here,” he said, standing and offering you his hand. His grip was steady as he pulled you to your feet. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, just my pride’s a little bruised,” you admitted, brushing off your jeans.
“Well,” he said, smirking, “maybe next time, your pride should walk a little slower.”
You laughed, the last of your embarrassment fading. “Duly noted, Han Jisung.”
He tilted his head, his curiosity evident. “You didn’t tell me your name.”
“Y/N,” you said, holding out your hand, which he shook with a small, genuine smile.
“Nice to meet you, Y/N. Try to stay out of trouble, okay?”
“Where’s the fun in that?” you quipped, grinning as you slung your bag over your shoulder.
He shook his head, an amused glint in his eye as he collected his books and turned to leave. “See you around,” he said over his shoulder.
And as you watched him walk away - posture perfect, demeanor unshaken despite the chaos...you couldn’t help but smile. Something told you this wouldn’t be the last time your paths crossed.
You had no idea then just how much he’d come to mean to you...or how much trouble the two of you would get into together.
----------------------------------------------------------
The first time Han Jisung saved you, you were knee-deep in a mess entirely of your own making. It had started innocently enough - just another one of your “brilliant” ideas. You’d overheard someone mention that the campus auditorium boasted the best sound system in the city, and naturally, your curiosity had gotten the better of you. The only hitch? You decided to “borrow” a key from the janitor’s office to test the claim.
Your plan seemed foolproof: sneak in, connect your playlist, and revel in the sheer glory of bass that could rattle the walls. What could possibly go wrong? Well, as it turned out, everything.
Barely ten minutes into your impromptu concert, the auditorium doors swung open, revealing a very unimpressed campus security officer.
“Who gave you permission to be here?” the officer demanded, his glare sharp enough to slice through steel.
Panic flooded your chest as you fumbled for an explanation. “I, uh… I was just...”
“Just what? Trespassing and breaking into campus property?”
The scolding was bad enough, but the real horror was the thought of being reported. With your already shaky academic record, one more misstep could mean suspension, or worse. As your mind raced for an excuse, a calm, steady voice cut through the tension.
“Actually, it was my fault,” said Han Jisung, striding into the room with a confidence you didn’t know he possessed.
You blinked at him in shock. Jisung, of all people? What was he doing here?
“And who are you?” the officer asked, narrowing his eyes.
“Han Jisung,” he said smoothly, as if his name alone carried authority. “I’m a student council representative. I was supposed to meet Y/N here to help set up the sound system for a presentation.”
Your jaw practically hit the floor. Presentation? Meeting? What on earth was Jisung talking about?
The officer frowned, unconvinced. “This doesn’t look like a presentation.”
“We were testing the system before the meeting,” Jisung explained with unnerving ease. His tone was so measured, so convincing, that even you almost believed him. “I take full responsibility for not getting prior approval from the administration. It won’t happen again.”
The officer eyed him for a moment longer, then sighed. “Fine. But if I catch either of you here without permission again, there will be consequences.”
“Yes, sir. Understood,” Jisung said, bowing slightly as the officer turned and left.
As soon as the door clicked shut, you turned to him, still reeling. “What the hell was that?”
“I could ask you the same thing,” Jisung retorted, arms crossed. “Breaking into the auditorium? Really?”
“I wasn’t breaking in! I just… borrowed the key,” you mumbled defensively.
“And you thought no one would notice?” He raised an eyebrow, unimpressed.
You opened your mouth to argue but quickly shut it. He wasn’t wrong. “Fine. It was stupid. But why’d you cover for me?”
Jisung let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair. “Because I didn’t want you to get in trouble. Again. Do you have any idea how close you are to being put on academic probation?”
Your eyes widened. “Wait! you keep track of my academic record?”
“It’s hard not to when you’re constantly finding new ways to get into trouble,” he muttered, though his tone was more exasperated than angry. “Seriously, Y/N, you need to be more careful.”
A strange mix of gratitude and embarrassment settled in your chest. “Thanks,” you said softly, looking at him with newfound appreciation.
“Don’t mention it,” he replied, his expression softening. “Just… maybe think things through next time?”
You grinned despite yourself. “What, and miss out on all the fun?”
Jisung groaned, shaking his head. “You’re impossible.”
“Maybe,” you teased, nudging him lightly. “But admit it...you wouldn’t have me any other way.”
He didn’t answer right away, but the faint smile tugging at his lips said more than words ever could.
Your friendship with Han Jisung was like an unpredictable storm meeting a steady anchor. Where you brought chaos, wild and unapologetic, he brought calm and quiet resilience. Yet somehow, the two of you balanced each other, your mismatched escapades weaving an unlikely but unshakable bond.
----------------------------------------------------------
Take the time you convinced Han Jisung to sneak into the art department’s studio with you. Rumor had it that the seniors had painted a massive mural on the back wall, and you just had to see it before the official unveiling.
“This is such a bad idea,” Jisung muttered, trailing behind you through the dimly lit hallway.
“You say that every time,” you whispered back, stifling a grin as you jiggled the door handle. “And yet, here you are.”
“Only because someone has to make sure you don’t get caught,” he shot back, crossing his arms.
“Relax, it’s just a mural. No one’s going to....”
The sound of footsteps echoed down the hallway, cutting off your reassurance. Your heart leaped into your throat as you instinctively grabbed Jisung’s arm and dragged him behind a stack of easels. The two of you crouched low, pressed shoulder to shoulder, holding your breath.
“I hate this,” he hissed, his voice barely audible.
“You love this,” you whispered, unable to suppress the mischievous smile spreading across your face.
When the footsteps finally receded, leaving the hallway silent once more, you turned toward Jisung, your faces just inches apart. For a brief moment, the world seemed to hold its breath. You could feel the warmth of his skin, the rise and fall of his chest, and the way his eyes searched yours, as if questioning what on earth he was doing here with you.
“Let’s just go,” he muttered, breaking the spell as he stood up and dusted himself off.
The mural, when you finally laid eyes on it, was breathtaking: a kaleidoscope of colors and intricate details that left you momentarily speechless. But the real highlight of the night wasn’t the art. It was Jisung’s deadpan commentary as he gestured toward the wall with exaggerated disbelief.
“You risked getting us expelled for this?” he asked, his tone dripping with mock indignation.
“It’s called appreciating art,” you replied, snapping a photo with your phone. “You should try it sometime.”
“Next time, let’s just visit a museum like normal people,” he said, shaking his head. But the small smile tugging at the corners of his lips betrayed him.
Your friendship with Han Jisung was a rollercoaster of shenanigans and shared moments that made life vibrant and unpredictable. The two of you were a duo nobody quite understood — him, the straight-laced, diligent student with his color-coded notes and perfectly maintained schedule, and you, the chaotic whirlwind who somehow managed to stumble your way through life with charm and luck.
Whether it was sneaking into the art department to see hidden murals or convincing him to ditch a study session for a midnight run to the nearest convenience store, you were always dragging Jisung into your world of playful mayhem.
And the most surprising part? He let you. He’d complain endlessly...“Y/N, this is the last time I’m letting you drag me into one of your dumb plans...,” But he’d always follow.
But your fun and games came to a crashing halt one fateful afternoon when reality smacked you in the face.
It started innocently enough. You and Jisung were sitting on the grass in the quad, eating snacks after one of your shared classes. He had a notebook balanced on his knee, going over notes while you dramatically recounted your latest “battle” with your statistics professor.
“Y/N, you can’t keep ignoring deadlines,” Jisung said, laughing as he stole one of your chips. “At some point, it’s going to catch up with you.”
“It’s fine,” you said breezily, leaning back and looking at the sky. “I always figure it out in the end.”
But you didn’t.
The next week, the results of your midterm exams came out, and the sinking feeling in your stomach as you saw your grades was undeniable. You were failing. And not just in one class;several.
You didn’t want to tell Jisung. Admitting it felt like admitting defeat, like proving to him that you were the chaotic mess everyone thought you were. But Jisung wasn’t the type to let things slide.
When he saw you sitting alone in the library, looking dejected, he plopped down across from you with his usual confident grin. “Alright, what’s up? And don’t even think about saying ‘nothing.’”
You sighed, burying your face in your hands. “I’m failing, Jisung.”
He blinked, momentarily surprised. “Failing what?”
“Exams,” you mumbled.
“Right, you're failing. I know."
"You know?" you asked, shocked.
"You bombed the last three quizzes, skipped half the study sessions, and I saw you playing games on your laptop during class last week,” he interrupted, his tone leaving no room for argument. “If you keep this up, you’re not going to pass the finals.”
You scoffed, running a hand through your hair. “Rubbing salt in the wound, much? Okay, I get it. I'm a horrible person… I don’t know how to fix it.”
“That’s what I’m here for,” he said, his expression softening. “We’re going to fix this. Together.”
And just like that, he took charge. Over the next few months, Jisung practically became your shadow. He made you a study schedule, sat with you during every session, and patiently explained concepts you didn’t understand.
“Focus, Y/N,” he’d say when he caught you doodling in the margins of your notes.
“You’re like an annoying older brother,” you grumbled one evening as he forced you to redo a particularly difficult essay for the fifth time.
“Older?” he repeated, raising an eyebrow. “I’m literally younger than you.”
“Then stop acting like my dad,” you shot back, sticking your tongue out at him.
“You’re lucky I don’t charge for all this,” he’d mutter, shaking his head but unable to hide his fond smile.
Despite the grueling sessions, you couldn’t deny that it was working. And as the exams approached, you felt something you hadn’t felt in a long time: hope.
The day the results were posted, you practically sprinted to the bulletin board, your heart pounding in your chest. Jisung followed behind, a calm presence as always.
When you saw your grades, you let out a gasp. “I passed!”
Jisung grinned, clapping you on the back. “See? I told you you could do it.”
You turned to him, your eyes shining. “I couldn’t have done it without you, Jisung. Seriously, thank you.”
He shrugged, but the smile on his face was genuine. “What are best friends for?”
And that was the moment you realized, once again, just how much he meant to you. He wasn’t just your partner in crime or your study buddy. He was your anchor, your constant, your safe place in the chaos of life.
----------------------------------------------------------
Next semester arrived before you knew it, sweeping you into a whirlwind of assignments, deadlines, and late-night cramming sessions. Somewhere amid the chaos of library study marathons and the steady comfort of early-morning pep talks, it hit you...you were falling for Han Jisung. It wasn’t the kind of love that blindsided you in a single moment, the way romance novels and movies often describe. No, this was different. It was a quiet realization, like the way dawn gradually paints the sky with soft, golden hues. Subtle, unassuming, but impossible to ignore once you noticed it.
You found yourself searching for his laugh in crowded rooms, a sound so infectious it felt like sunlight breaking through the darkest clouds. The way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled became something you looked forward to, a little beacon of joy in your long, exhausting days. Then there was the way he pushed his hair back when he was concentrating, his brow furrowing slightly as if he were trying to solve the mysteries of the universe. It was such a small thing, but it made your heart skip every time.
And it wasn’t just the way he made you feel; it was the way he cared for you, in a way no one else ever had. He had this way of noticing things about you...things you didn’t even realize you were doing. Like how he’d remind you to eat when you got too caught up in your work or how he’d send you a text late at night, a simple “You’ve got this” that somehow made everything feel a little more manageable. His care wasn’t loud or overbearing; it was steady and unshakable, like a constant undercurrent that you could always count on.
You didn’t know exactly when it started...when his presence began to mean more than just friendship. Maybe it was during one of those late-night library sessions when he stayed up with you until dawn, helping you with a paper even though he didn’t have to. Maybe it was the way he looked at you, his gaze soft and full of something you couldn’t quite name. Or maybe it was simply everything...every moment, every laugh, every small, thoughtful gesture adding up until your heart couldn’t hold it all anymore.
But falling for him was as terrifying as it was beautiful. Because as much as you wanted to believe there was something more between you, you couldn’t ignore the fear—the fear that acknowledging your feelings would change everything, that crossing that line might mean losing him entirely. So you kept it to yourself, letting your feelings grow quietly in the corners of your heart, where they were safe but painfully unspoken.
Instead of confessing, you did what you thought would save you from heartbreak: burying your feelings and making a choice that felt like the only escape at the time. You started dating someone else.
At first, it seemed like a solution, a distraction from the ache that tightened your chest every time Jisung’s warm smile was directed at you. Your new relationship kept you busy, giving you something else to focus on. But it didn’t take long for cracks to appear, tiny fractures that grew wider with every passing day. Your partner turned out to be toxic: controlling, dismissive, and quick to belittle you for things you couldn’t control. Every disagreement became a battle, every moment together felt like walking on eggshells.
And, of course, Jisung noticed. He always noticed.
“Y/N,” he said softly one evening, his voice cutting through the suffocating silence of your apartment. He was sitting beside you on the couch after you’d had yet another argument with your partner, your eyes red and tired from holding back tears. “You don’t have to put up with this.”
You shrugged, keeping your gaze fixed on your hands. “It’s not as bad as it seems.”
His hand reached out, brushing against yours as his voice took on a firmness that was rare for him. “It is that bad. You deserve better than this. So much better.”
You looked up at him then, his expression both gentle and resolute, and something in your chest cracked open. His words felt like a lifeline, a reminder of the person you used to be....the person you wanted to be again. Still, you didn’t act immediately. Breaking up was messy, painful, and terrifying. But Jisung’s unwavering support gave you strength.
When the breakup finally happened, it unraveled everything. The aftermath was raw, leaving you emotionally drained and questioning everything. You called Jisung in the middle of the night, your voice shaking as you choked out his name. And, like always, he showed up. No questions, no hesitation. He simply came.
He didn’t try to fix you or tell you to move on. He just sat with you, his arms wrapped around you as you cried, his presence grounding you in a way no one else’s could. His quiet reassurances weren’t grand declarations, but they were exactly what you needed: I’m here. You’re not alone.
And that was when you knew. You couldn’t keep pretending anymore. You couldn’t keep denying that he wasn’t just your best friend. That every time he laughed, your heart skipped. That he wasn’t the person you wanted beside you...not just in moments of crisis, but always.
It was terrifying to think about confessing. But the thought of losing him? That was even worse. So you made up your mind. You would tell him how you felt, even if it risked everything.
But reality always has other plans....
----------------------------------------------------------
“Earth to Y/N,” Jisung’s voice pulled you out of your spiraling thoughts. His hand waved in front of your face, his tone laced with gentle teasing. “Are you okay?”
You blinked, your surroundings coming back into focus. His face was mere inches from yours, his brows furrowed with concern. He looked at you the way he always did, as though he could see every unspoken thought you were too afraid to share.
“Yeah,” you lied, your voice coming out shaky. “I’m fine. Just… thinking.”
“Thinking about what?” His curiosity was genuine, his head tilting slightly as he studied you.
Your fingers tightened around your coffee cup, your heart hammering in your chest. What could you say? That you were thinking about how much you missed him? About how every moment with him only made it harder to keep your feelings hidden? About how terrifying it was to sit across from him, knowing your heart was an open wound he couldn’t see?
“Just... reminiscing,” you said finally, forcing a smile that you hoped hid the turmoil inside. “About how you’ve always had my back. You’ve saved me more times than I can count.”
He grinned, the corners of his eyes crinkling in that way that never failed to make your stomach flip. “What can I say? Someone’s gotta keep you out of trouble.”
You laughed, but it felt hollow, the weight of your unsaid confession pressing down on you. You couldn’t help but notice the way the evening light softened his features, the way he looked at you like you were the only person in the world who mattered. And yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to say what you really wanted to.
As the conversation drifted to lighter topics, you found yourself stealing glances at him, memorizing every detail of his face, every inflection of his voice. The thought that you might never be brave enough to tell him how you felt was unbearable.
And when he walked you home that night, his presence warm and steady beside you, you almost stopped him. Almost turned to him and let the words tumble out. But fear held you back...the fear of ruining what you already had, the fear that he didn’t feel the same.
As you stood outside your apartment building, Jisung smiled softly, his hands buried in his coat pockets. “Goodnight, Y/N.”
“Goodnight,” you whispered, watching him walk away.
You stayed there long after he was gone, the city’s lights blurring in your vision as tears pricked your eyes. Because no matter how much you told yourself it was better this way, your heart knew the truth.
You closed the door behind you, the sound of it slamming shut echoing in the otherwise silent apartment. Leaning against the door, you let out a breath, one you hadn’t even realized you’d been holding. Your chest still felt tight, and your heart raced uncontrollably,not from the cold night air that still clung to you, but from everything that had just transpired.
Best friends
That’s all you were to him, and that’s all you’d ever be. The bitter thought made your stomach twist as you dropped your bag carelessly onto the floor.
With each step that led you to your bedroom, the weight of it all pressed down on you. You peeled off your jacket, tossing it onto the chair in the corner, not bothering to hang it up. The soft glow from the city lights filtered through your curtains, casting delicate, fleeting patterns on the walls. You climbed into bed, the comforter enveloping you like a fragile shield. But no amount of warmth could ease the ache that gnawed at your heart.
Your mind, however, had other plans. It dragged you back, back to that cold Valentine’s Day years ago, when you’d finally decided to take the plunge, to confess, to reveal the feelings you’d kept hidden for far too long.
----------------------------------------------------------
It had been one of those early February mornings, the kind where your breath hung in the air in little clouds of mist, and the campus pathways were slick from the melting frost. You’d spent weeks wrestling with the idea, turning it over in your mind like a stone you couldn’t get rid of. Every shared laugh, every teasing nudge from Jisung, every late-night text that made your heart flutter, each small moment had added weight to the growing realization that you couldn’t ignore your feelings anymore.
Today’s the day, you told yourself. The words echoed in your mind like a mantra, but they didn’t feel as comforting as they should have. You couldn’t keep pretending to be his best friend, not when your heart longed for something more.
You had prepared for this moment, rehearsing your confession in front of the mirror over and over. It wasn’t going to be grand or dramatic, just honest, just the truth of how much he meant to you. It was going to be simple: "Jisung, I need to tell you something. I think I’m in love with you."
But just as you’d gathered the courage to leave your dorm, your phone buzzed. A call from Nari, a friend of yours since freshman year.
"Hey, can we talk? Meet me at the campus café around noon. It’s important."
Your heart skipped a beat. What could Nari possibly want to talk about? You didn’t think much of it at first. Nari was the kind of person who always seemed to know when something was off, and she had a way of making you feel like everything would be okay, even when it wasn’t. Maybe she’d guessed how you felt about Jisung and wanted to give you some advice—something to help ease the burden you’d carried for so long.
You agreed to meet her, nervous energy coursing through you. You picked out a small rose for Jisung, the perfect shade of red, and made your way to the café. When you arrived, Nari was already there, absentmindedly stirring a cup of tea. She looked up when she saw you, offering a smile, but it was the kind of smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.
"Hey," she greeted, her voice light but hesitant. "Thanks for meeting me."
"Of course," you replied, trying to sound steady despite the nervous flutter in your chest. "What’s up?"
Nari hesitated, her gaze flickering to the rose in your hand before meeting your eyes again. She took a deep breath, and you could tell something was weighing heavily on her.
"I wanted to talk to you about something... something important," she said, her voice quieter now, more serious.
Your stomach tightened with unease. "Okay?"
She fiddled with the edge of her sleeve, taking a moment before continuing. "I know how close you and Jisung are. And... I’ve noticed how you look at him."
Your cheeks flushed with heat, a wave of panic crashing over you. "W-What do you mean?" you stammered, unsure of what she was getting at.
"You like him, don’t you?" she asked gently, her voice almost apologetic, as if she already knew the answer.
You froze. There was no point denying it. Not when she’d already seen straight through you. The truth hung in the air between you, heavy and undeniable. You nodded slowly, the grip on the rose tightening as you spoke. "Yeah. I do."
Nari bit her lip, her expression softening with sympathy. "I figured. That’s why I thought I should tell you before you... before you do anything." She trailed off, clearly struggling to find the right words.
Your heart dropped into your stomach. "What about you and Jisung?" you asked, your voice barely more than a whisper.
Nari shifted in her seat, her eyes avoiding yours for a moment. Then, slowly, she met your gaze again, her expression filled with something that looked like guilt.
"We’ve been seeing each other," she said, her voice small but resolute. "For a little while now."
The words hit you like a physical blow, knocking the wind out of you. You blinked, trying to process what she had just said. This couldn’t be real. Jisung hadn’t said anything...nothing about her, nothing about being with anyone.
"You’re... together?" you asked, barely able to form the words.
Nari nodded, her face etched with a kind of remorse. "It’s still new," she said quietly, "but I thought it was better to tell you now. I didn’t want you to find out in a way that would hurt more."
Hurt. The irony of her words felt like salt in the wound. You couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. The rose in your hand suddenly felt like a cruel joke, its vibrant petals mocking you. The confession you’d been building up for so long, the one you’d been so certain of, had just become meaningless.
"I’m sorry," Nari said softly, her voice laced with sincerity. "I didn’t mean for this to happen. But... I really care about him."
You swallowed, forcing yourself to smile, even though it felt like it would tear you apart. "It’s fine," you said, though the words felt hollow. "Really."
But it wasn’t fine. Not at all.
The rest of the conversation blurred as she went on about how happy Jisung made her, about how she never expected this to happen, but how she had to be honest with you. Every word felt like a knife twisting deeper, but you held it together, nodding at the right times, forcing yourself to listen.
When you finally left the café, you didn’t even look back. The rose you’d clutched in your hand found its way into the nearest trash can, the delicate petals crushed under your trembling fingers, a symbol of everything you could never have.
---------------------------------------------------------
A few weeks after Valentine’s Day, life had settled into an uneasy rhythm. You buried your feelings deeper than ever, convincing yourself that it was better this way. You were still Jisung’s best friend, the one he turned to when he needed to laugh, vent, or just be himself. But each moment spent with him was a bittersweet reminder of what you could never have, an ache that lingered, stubborn and relentless.
Then, one evening, your phone buzzed with a call from him, Jisung.
“Hey, can we talk? There’s something I need to tell you.”
Your stomach flipped, unease settling over you like a heavy weight. His tone was more serious than usual, sending a chill through your body. Was he about to bring up what you had been trying so hard to bury? You hesitated, but finally replied, your heart pounding.
“Of course. What’s up?”
“Let’s meet on the rooftop of campus. I’ll be there in 20.”
A knot tightened in your stomach as you agreed.
The rooftop -yours and his safe place. It was the space where you had shared confessions, secrets, things that shouldn’t be seen by the world. You both had always come here to escape, to be yourselves away from prying eyes.
You arrived early, anxiety crawling up your spine with every step. The campus was eerily quiet at night, and you slipped through the building’s doors, heading up to the rooftop. The familiar view of the city lights was comforting, but tonight, it couldn’t settle your nerves.
When Jisung arrived, he was different. His playful grin was absent, replaced by a serious expression. His eyes, usually filled with warmth and mischief, held a weight you hadn’t seen before. Your chest tightened at the sight.
“Hey,” you greeted, forcing a smile that felt like a mask, as you turned to face him.
“Hey,” he replied, his voice unusually soft. He didn’t meet your gaze immediately, instead fiddling nervously with the hem of his hoodie sleeves...a habit you knew well.
“Everything okay?” you asked, trying to keep your tone light, even though your heart felt like it was going to explode.
He took a deep breath before lifting his gaze to meet yours. His eyes were steady, but there was something burdened in them, something he hadn’t said yet.
“I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and... I didn’t know how to tell you. But I have to.”
Your heart sank, the weight of his words sinking in before you could even process them. What was ge about to tell you ? That he and Nari were becoming serious? That he didn’t want to stay friends anymore?
“I’m leaving Seoul,” he said, his voice quiet but firm.
The words hit you like a physical blow, knocking the air from your lungs. “What?”
“I got accepted into a music program in Busan,” he explained, his hands clenching into fists. “It’s an incredible opportunity, like a dream come true. But it means... I have to leave.”
Your mind went blank, your body feeling like it was trapped in quicksand. Jisung had always talked about his passion for music, about creating something that meant something. You were proud of him, truly, but the thought of him leaving, of him being so far away, was unbearable.
“When?” you managed to ask, your voice barely a whisper.
“In a week,” he said, his eyes searching yours, looking for understanding. “I didn’t want to tell you until everything was finalized. I just... I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye.”
Your chest tightened as tears pricked at the corners of your eyes. You looked away, staring blankly at the city below. “A week? That’s... so soon.”
“I know,” he said, his voice tinged with regret. “But it’s something I have to do. You understand that, right?”
You nodded, forcing the lump in your throat down, even though your heart was breaking. “Yeah, of course. It’s your dream. You’d be crazy not to go.”
The rest of the evening passed in a blur. Jisung talked about the program, his excitement and nervousness spilling over as he shared every detail. You listened, offered words of encouragement, even joked with him to lighten the mood. But as soon as you were alone, everything you had been holding back came crashing down.
----------------------------------------------------------
The week passed in a blur, each day bringing you closer to the inevitable. And then, it was the day of his departure.
You met him at the train station, your chest heavy with the weight of goodbye. He was standing there, his suitcases at his feet, hoodie pulled up against the chill of the early morning. The finality of the moment was suffocating, the space between you growing with each passing second.
“Hey,” he said softly, his voice low as you approached.
“Hey,” you replied, forcing a smile that felt like it might shatter any second.
Neither of you spoke right away, the sound of the bustling station drowning out the silence that hung between you. Neither of you could find the words that needed to be said.
“This isn’t goodbye,” he said finally, his voice resolute, though there was a tremor of uncertainty in his eyes. “I’ll text you every day. I’ll call. We’ll stay in touch, okay?”
You nodded, the tears that had been threatening to fall finally escaping. “Yeah. We will.”
“Hey,” he said gently, stepping closer and pulling you into a hug. His arms were warm, steady, and for a brief moment, you allowed yourself to forget everything else. You breathed in deeply, memorizing the way he felt, the way his heartbeat synced with yours.
“You’re going to be okay,” he whispered, his chin resting on top of your head. “I promise.”
You didn’t trust yourself to speak, so you simply clung to him, unwilling to let go, as though by holding on just a little longer, you could freeze this moment in time.
When the announcement for his train came over the speakers, he pulled away, his hands lingering on your shoulders. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”
“Okay,” you whispered, wiping the tears from your cheeks.
He gave you one last smile: a small, sincere smile, before grabbing his bags and heading toward the platform. You watched him walk away, your heart breaking with every step, every inch between you and him.
As the train began to pull away, you told yourself it wasn’t the end. That you’d see him again. That things would go back to the way they were.
But deep down, you knew better. Something had changed, something unspoken, something that couldn’t be undone. And though you didn’t know what the future held, you knew one thing for sure,it could never be the same again....
---------------------------------------------------------
The sunlight poured through your window, bright and uninvited, cutting through the darkness of the room. You groaned, burying your face deeper into the pillow, desperate to escape the sharp ring of the alarm that sliced through the silence. The day ahead already felt heavy, as if the weight of the world had settled on your shoulders before it even began. The memories that had resurfaced the night before, memories you had buried for years...still clung to your mind, unrelenting and vivid. Jisung was back in your life, but the gap of eight years between you was an insurmountable distance...those unanswered questions, the unspoken truths, and the silent wishes hung between you like an invisible wall that neither of you could breach.
You dragged yourself out of bed, the grogginess still clinging to you like a second skin, your body protesting against the demands of the day. The kitchen greeted you with the comforting aroma of freshly brewed coffee, the scent wrapping around you like a brief respite from the chaos swirling inside your mind. You leaned against the counter, staring blankly out the window, watching the familiar morning rush of Seoul. People hurried past, weaving in and out of the crowded streets with practiced precision, their steps as frantic as your thoughts. The city felt different now, with Jisung back in it. Or maybe it was you who felt different...changed by the weight of the years that had passed and the memories that refused to stay buried.
It had been weeks since that fateful café meeting....the first time you had seen him again after so many years of silence. Since then, you and Jisung had slipped into an almost familiar rhythm, as though time had somehow softened the sharp edges of the past. Late-night texts, spontaneous meetups, shared laughter, it all seemed to flow with ease, as though no time had passed at all. But beneath the surface of every smile, every joke, every touch, there was something deeper—a shadow of the past, a lingering ache, a question that neither of you dared to ask. The years apart, the buried feelings, and the uncertainty of where you stood now,all of it hovered between you, a constant presence neither of you could escape.
You had resolved, at least for the time being, to keep things light. To avoid venturing into territory that might reopen old wounds. After all, wasn't it better to just be his friend than risk losing him altogether? The logic made sense, the choice seemed rational. But your heart, stubborn as always, refused to follow any kind of logic. It ached for him in ways you couldn’t control, pulling you in directions you weren’t ready to go. No matter how hard you tried to push the feelings down, to suppress the memories that wanted to flood back to the surface, they remained, relentless, unyielding, impossible to ignore.
And so, you stood there, staring out at the city that felt both familiar and foreign, wondering if the past was something you could ever truly outrun...
----------------------------------------------------------
That afternoon, you found yourself standing in front of the same café where everything had started—where you’d seen Jisung for the first time in eight long years. But today, it wasn’t a chance encounter. This meeting had a purpose, planned and initiated by him.
Jisung’s call from the morning had been simple and vague, yet it had thrown you off balance:
“Let’s grab lunch? I’ve got a surprise for you.”
A surprise. With Jisung, that could mean anything...something small and silly, or something that could shift the ground beneath your feet. Either way, your heart had been racing ever since.
Pushing open the door to the café, the familiar chime of the bell above welcomed you. Your eyes scanned the room until they landed on him. He was already at your usual table by the window, waving at you with that familiar boyish grin. His hair was slightly messy, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up casually, and he looked so at ease, so natural, that it was almost enough to lull you into believing nothing had changed.
“Hey, you’re early,” you said as you slid into the seat across from him, feigning nonchalance to hide the way your pulse quickened at the sight of him.
“Rare moment of responsibility,” he quipped, setting his phone down on the table. “Don’t get used to it.”
You laughed, shaking your head. “I wasn’t planning to.”
As the waitress came to take your order, you couldn’t help but sneak glances at him, trying to read the mood. There was a sparkle in his eyes, an almost childlike excitement, and you couldn’t help but feel curious and maybe a little nervous.
“So,” you started once the waitress left, “are you going to tell me what this surprise is, or are you just going to keep me guessing?”
Jisung leaned back in his chair, his grin widening. “Patience. Let’s eat first.”
You narrowed your eyes at him but played along. Lunch passed in a blur of conversation and laughter. He told you about his time in Busan, the struggles of chasing his dreams, the doubts that crept in on sleepless nights, and the small moments of triumph that kept him going. You shared stories of Seoul, talking about everything from the daily grind to the little changes in the city he used to know so well.
There was something comforting about it all, like slipping into a well-worn rhythm. But beneath the surface of your laughter and casual conversation was the unspoken truth, the questions, the what-ifs, the emotions that threatened to rise to the surface with every shared glance.
As the meal drew to a close, your patience finally snapped.
“Alright, spill it,” you said, leaning forward, your curiosity getting the better of you. “What’s the big surprise?”
Jisung’s grin turned sheepish as he reached into his bag, pulling out a small, neatly wrapped package. He held it out to you with an almost nervous energy.
“It’s nothing huge,” he said, his voice softening. “But I saw this and thought of you.”
You blinked, staring at the package in his hands. “You didn’t have to....”
“Just open it,” he interrupted, his eyes alight with anticipation.
You hesitated only for a moment before carefully peeling away the wrapping. What you revealed made your breath catch. It was a leather-bound notebook, beautifully embossed with intricate designs. But it wasn’t just the notebook that made your heart stumble.
As you opened it, the first few pages revealed doodles, small, playful sketches that were unmistakably his. Interspersed with the doodles were notes, scribbled in his familiar handwriting, filled with inside jokes and tiny fragments of your shared past. Flipping further, you found photos tucked between pages, memories you had long forgotten brought back to life in vivid detail.
“Is this…?” you murmured, your voice trailing off as your fingers skimmed over the pages, taking in every detail.
“It’s kind of like a scrapbook,” Jisung explained, rubbing the back of his neck. “I found some of our old stuff while unpacking and thought... I don’t know, you might like it. I started putting it together, and… yeah.”
Your fingers trembled slightly as you traced the edge of a photo - a candid shot of the two of you from college, your younger selves caught mid-laughter.
“Jisung, this is…” You looked up at him, your voice catching in your throat. “It’s amazing. Thank you.”
He smiled, the shyness in his expression softening into something warmer. “I figured it’s about time we started filling in the gaps, you know? From all those years apart.”
You nodded, unable to speak past the lump in your throat. “Yeah. It’s perfect.”
But as you stared down at the notebook again, a bittersweet ache filled your chest. Every page, every sketch, every photo spoke of a connection you cherished. Yet they also served as a reminder of everything you couldn’t have. For all the love and care that had gone into this gift, for all the memories it brought back, there was one truth that hung in the air, unspoken and unchangeable.
Jisung didn’t feel the same way about you.
And no amount of shared nostalgia could rewrite that fact...
Later, as he walked you home, the air between you was filled with the kind of easy conversation that came naturally with him, light-hearted jokes, shared laughter, and fleeting glances that felt like secrets. It was almost as if the years apart hadn’t happened, as if the weight of the past had somehow dissolved in the rhythm of your steps. For a fleeting moment, it felt like old times.
His presence beside you was a quiet comfort, grounding you in a way you hadn’t realized you’d missed. The sound of his sneakers scuffing lightly against the pavement, the soft hum of the city around you, it all felt familiar, like slipping into a favorite old sweater that had been tucked away for too long.
“Thanks again for the notebook,” you said as you reached your building, clutching the gift tightly against your chest. “Seriously, it’s the best thing I’ve gotten in… well, years.”
He turned to you, his grin widening as he shoved his hands deeper into his pockets. “You’re welcome. I’m glad you liked it.”
There was something about the way he looked at you just then, a flicker in his eyes, warm and unguarded, that made your pulse stutter. The city lights reflected faintly in his gaze, and for one impossible second, you thought you saw something there. Something deeper. Something more.
But just as quickly as it appeared, it was gone, replaced by his usual boyish charm. He smiled and took a playful step backward, rocking on his heels. “Goodnight, bestie.”
Your laugh came out soft and a little strained, the word bestie stinging in a way you hadn’t expected. It was a reminder of the line he had drawn between you, one he didn’t seem to realize you were desperate to cross.
“Goodnight, Jisung,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.
You stood there, watching as he walked away, his figure growing smaller with each step until he was just a shadow against the glow of the streetlights. Your chest felt heavy, the ache of unspoken words pressing against your ribs.
For a moment, the urge to stop him surged within you, stronger than ever. To call out his name, to tell him everything...
But you stopped yourself. And for the first time in years, you let yourself wonder: maybe it wasn’t about what you said or didn’t say. Maybe it was about what he felt or didn’t feel in return ?
---------------------------------------------------------
The days turned into weeks, and before you knew it, Jisung’s return to your life had started to take its toll. Spending time with him felt like walking a tightrope, balanced precariously between joy and heartache. Every laugh you shared, every inside joke that came rushing back, every moment spent together,it was everything you’d ever wanted. But it was also a cruel reminder of everything you couldn’t have.
The little things were the hardest to bear. The way his laughter still made your heart skip, the way he instinctively remembered your favorite snacks or noticed the smallest changes in your mood. The way his voice softened when he said your name, as if it was a word meant to be spoken with care. Every interaction felt like it was pulling you deeper into an emotional quicksand. No matter how much you told yourself to keep things casual, to not overthink, the feelings you’d buried years ago rose to the surface, stronger and more relentless than ever.
It was exhausting. The constant battle within yourself...the longing to be close to him and the fear of being hurt again. The more time you spent with Jisung, the clearer it became: your heart wasn’t built to endure this. Not again.
So, you did the only thing you thought might save you. You started to pull away.
At first, it was subtle. A missed text here, a vague excuse there.
When he asked to hang out, you’d claim you were busy with work or that you weren’t feeling well. You convinced yourself it was temporary, that a little distance would give you the time and space you needed to get your emotions under control.
He didn’t question it at first. When you started skipping out on coffee dates or responding to his texts hours late with apologetic emojis and half-hearted excuses, Jisung didn’t push. He let it slide, brushing it off as you being busy or caught up with work. “It happens,” he’d say with a grin, his tone light and understanding. That was just who he was, always patient, always willing to give you the space you needed.
But as the days stretched into weeks, the excuses piled up, and the distance between you became impossible to ignore. Every invitation was met with, “Maybe next time,” or, “I’ve got a lot on my plate right now.” You stopped lingering over late-night texts, stopped sharing the small details of your day that you used to send him without a second thought.
And every time you turned him down, every time you chose silence over connection, you felt the guilt clawing at you. It was suffocating, that constant push and pull between wanting to protect yourself and not wanting to hurt him. But in your mind, this was the only way. Keeping your heart intact meant keeping your distance.
Except, it wasn’t working.
Avoiding Jisung didn’t dull your feelings, it only made them sharper. Every time you ignored his text, you’d find yourself staring at your phone minutes later, wondering if he was thinking of you. Every time you saw something that reminded you of him.... a song you both loved, a stupid meme he’d laugh at, you had to fight the urge to send it to him. The more you tried to pull away, the more you missed him.
And it didn’t take long for Jisung to notice.
At first, it was subtle, small, hesitant comments when you did see him. “You’ve been really busy lately, huh?” he’d say, his tone casual but his eyes searching. You’d nod and mumble something about work, trying to avoid the way his gaze lingered on you, as if he was trying to read between the lines.
But Jisung wasn’t the type to let things go for long. One day, after you’d bailed on plans for the third time that week, he called and said something that stopped you in your tracks....
“Did I do something wrong?”
You stared at the screen, your chest tightening. The words were simple, but they carried the weight of everything you’d been trying to avoid.
“If I messed up, just tell me. I don’t want things to get weird between us.”
Weird. That’s what he thought this was, a misunderstanding, a bump in the road. He didn’t know how hard you were trying to keep your feelings buried, how every moment with him felt like walking a tightrope between happiness and heartbreak.
Your fingers hovered over the mute button, a dozen responses swirling in your mind. You wanted to tell him the truth, to spill everything you’d been holding back. But the thought of losing him, of ruining what you still had, froze you in place.
Finally, you answered back “It’s not you. I’ve just been overwhelmed with work. I’m sorry if I made you feel otherwise.”
He replied almost instantly.
“Okay. Just let me know if you need anything, yeah? I’m here.”
You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding, but the relief was short-lived. Because as much as you wanted to believe that he’d buy your excuse, you could feel the doubt in his words.
And you knew, deep down, that you couldn’t keep this up forever....
----------------------------------------------------------
It had been over a month since you’d last seen him when Jisung finally confronted you. The day had been long, and you were heading home, headphones on, the city noise muffled by a soothing playlist. The sun was setting, painting the sky in soft hues of gold and pink, and you were thankful for the solitude. That was until your name cut through the air, sharp and unmistakable.
“Y/N!”
You froze, your heart sinking as you recognized his voice. Turning, you saw Jisung jogging toward you, his expression a mix of determination and something you couldn’t quite place,anger, maybe? Concern?
“Jisung,” you said, pulling out your headphones, your voice tinged with guilt.
“What’s going on?” he demanded, his tone firm but not unkind.
“What do you mean?” you replied, feigning confusion as you shifted your weight nervously.
“Don’t do that,” he said, stepping closer, his gaze piercing. “Don’t pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about. You’ve been avoiding me, Y/N. For weeks. And I want to know why."
“I haven’t been avoiding you,” you lied weakly, looking anywhere but at him.
“Really?” he said, crossing his arms. “Because it feels like I’ve been chasing a ghost. You barely respond to my texts, you cancel plans left and right and when I try to call, it goes straight to voicemail. So, tell me....what’s really going on?”
Your chest tightened, and you could feel your carefully constructed walls cracking. “I’ve been busy,” you mumbled, knowing how hollow the excuse sounded.
“Busy?” he repeated, his frustration evident. “Too busy to even say hi? Too busy to talk to someone you called your best friend?”
The word “best friend” stung, and you flinched visibly.
Jisung noticed. “What is it?” he asked, his tone softening. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No,” you said quickly, the words spilling out before you could stop them. “It’s not you. It’s...”
“Don’t,” he interrupted, shaking his head. “Don’t say it’s you, because we both know that’s not true.”
You sighed deeply, your shoulders slumping. “Can we not do this here?”
He hesitated, then gestured toward a nearby bench under a line of cherry blossom trees that had already begun to bloom, their petals swirling gently in the breeze. “Fine. Let’s talk.”
The walk to the bench felt like an eternity, and when you finally sat down, you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him.
“I can’t do this anymore,” you said at last, your voice trembling.
“Do what?” he asked, leaning closer, his brows furrowing in confusion.
“Pretend,” you whispered. “Pretend like I’m okay just being your friend when I’m not.”
He blinked, clearly taken aback. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying…” You swallowed hard, your heart racing. “I’m saying I’ve been in love with you for years, Jisung. Since college. And I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to ruin what we had. But then Nari...”
“Nari?” he interrupted, his confusion stark.
“Yeah, Nari,” you said, bitterness creeping into your voice. “The girl you were dating. The one who told me you weren’t interested in me, that you only saw me as a friend.”
His face shifted from confusion to disbelief. “Y/N, I don’t know who Nari is.”
Your heart skipped a beat. “What do you mean you don’t know her? She told me...”
“I don’t care what she told you,” he said, his voice firm. “It wasn’t true. I never said that. And for the record, I’ve never dated anyone named Nari.”
You stared at him, the ground beneath you seeming to shift. “But she…”
“Y/N,” he said, his voice soft but resolute, “if you’re talking about that random girl who used to hang out at our college meetups, she wasn’t even my type. She was just… there.”
Your mind reeled, the memory of Nari’s smug smile flashing in your mind. “She lied?”
“Looks like it,” he said, his tone laced with frustration. “But that’s not what matters right now.”
“What does?” you asked, your voice barely a whisper.
“You,” he said simply. “And the fact that I’ve been in love with you since college, too.”
Your eyes widened, and you felt your heart stop. “What?”
“I’m serious,” he said, leaning closer. “I thought I was being obvious back then. I always made excuses to be around you, to make you laugh, to sit next to you in every class. But you never seemed interested, so I… I let it go.”
Tears welled up in your eyes, the weight of years of misunderstandings crashing down on you. “I thought you didn’t care,” you said, your voice breaking.
And I thought you didn’t,” he replied, his hand reaching out to cover yours. “But I’m done assuming.”
He leaned closer, his gaze searching yours. “Tell me I’m not too late.”
You shook your head, tears spilling over as a laugh bubbled out of you. “You’re not too late.”
His smile was soft, tentative, as if he couldn’t quite believe this was happening. And then, slowly, he leaned in, his hand cupping your cheek as his lips met yours.
The world seemed to still, the noise of the city fading into nothing. His kiss was gentle but sure, as though he’d been waiting for this moment as long as you had. Your hands found their way to his shoulders, gripping him like he might disappear if you let go.
When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, and he let out a shaky breath. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”
You laughed softly, your heart feeling lighter than it had in years. “Maybe I do.”
A loud meow broke the moment, and both of you turned to see a stray cat sitting by Jisung’s feet, its wide eyes fixed on him as if demanding attention.
Jisung groaned, though his smile never wavered. “Even the cats can’t leave me alone.”
You laughed, wiping at your tears. “Maybe it’s a sign.”
“A sign of what?” he asked, his grin turning playful.
“That you’re stuck with me now,” you teased, squeezing his hand.
“Good,” he said, his voice warm and certain. “Because I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
As the two of you walked home hand in hand, the stray cat trailing behind like a self-appointed chaperone companion, you couldn’t help but smile. For the first time in a long time, everything felt right....
*ੈ✩Tags - @atinyniki @writingforstraykids @yangbbokari @theo4eve @livelovelaughmiko @silverstarburst @galaxycatdrawz @skzoologist @shua-f4lmings @iknowyouknowminho @krisstheidiot @hyunjinhoexxx @gho-ster @ezlynkisses @elmoslungcancer @b1nn1e-1s-cut3 @seungseung-minmin @cuddlylonelyperson @jeonginsleftcheek @oreoqueen @freekyfangirl
Comment your @ If you wish to be added or removed from this list ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
*ੈ✩ENDNOTE - Everything Here is a work of fiction and my own imagination. This does not represent the real life characteristics of Stray Kids. Make sure to like, reblog comment, and follow me for new updates!
#Staymas#Stray Kids#stray kids reactions#stray kids imagines#stray kids scenarios#stray kids × readers#stray kids au#stray kids smau#skz#skz imagines#skz reactions#skz × reader#skz au#han jisung#han imagines#han fluff#han angst#han scenarios#han jisung × reader#han smau#skz fluff#skz angst#tumblr#fypシ
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I have no idea if this is correct based on the NSFW rumor post (so if it's not, I'm sorry!) but immediately I thought of Joe Velasco and Reader. I've got SVU on the brain atm due to my binging the whole show (can you believe there are some episodes I still haven't seen? It feels like a crime in itself) and I'm still in season 1, just finishing the episode that featured BDSM and other things. Anyways, I was thinking for the rumor, we know canon Joe is looking to make a connection with someone and how he would be most likely during a sexual encounter. But what if the rumor was that Joe liked things rough or had a kink or something like that?
Again, I'm sorry if I'm not doing this right or even if you would be interested, but I just figured I'd give it a shot. 😊
Tagging: @kmc1989 @plaidbooks @witches-unruly-heart @storiesofsvu @rosaliedepp
Babe don’t you worry! This is my first time doing it to so we will figure it out together or make our own shit up!
I have this seasons eps to watch and then I think I’m all caught up.
So here’s what I came up with regarding that rumour:
You’re getting coffee on your way into work when you hear the rumour about Joe. your phone chimes and you pull open your Bad Ass Bitchez chat you have with a few other women in the precinct and there it is sitting on your screen.
About how he likes to leave bruises on his conquests, that he tends to get a little rough.
You know where it’s coming from, the cousin of one of junior detectives had a couple of dates with him a few months ago but it didn’t go anywhere. She’d tried to start things up again recently after they’d run into each other at the gym but he’d told her he was seeing someone, that it was starting to get serious.
Your cousin has a history of making up stuff, You type back into the chat. Maybe remind her she could be ruining a good cop’s career with those half-truths of hers.
There’s silence after that but you know you’ve made your point.
When you lay eyes on Joe sitting at his desk, you know he’s heard it. His head’s bowed, his shoulders slouched as he focuses on the report in front of him, trying to make himself as invisible as possible.
Your palm comes to rest on the nape of his neck, your thumb tracing a soothing circle underneath that sensitive spot just underneath his ear. He sighs at the sensation, his muscles relaxing as he tilts his head up towards you.
“It’s bullshit.” He informs you, meeting your gaze. “You know me, you know I can’t stand the thought of hurting someone like that…”
You do know that, because you know Joe, his history, the type of man he is. You’re the one he spends his nights with, the one he makes love to in the early mornings as the sun starts to filter through the blinds.
“Keep your chin up.” You murmur, your hand shifting to his shoulder squeezing lightly. “The truth will come out, I’ll make sure of it.”
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Birthdays
Summary: Jimmy has never celebrated his birthday before. Grian and Joel change that.
Warnings: Crying
Word Count: 1404
AO3 Link
Surprise! I decided to write a little something because I'm currently in a birthday mood since tomorrow (the 5th) is my birthday! So I hope you guys enjoy!
______________________________________________________________
“Oh, shoot!” Joel suddenly exclaimed after having looked at something on his phone. They all sat around Joel’s desk eating, Grian and Joel were enjoying some burgers and fries while Jimmy was eating a chicken nugget and a single fry. Though, sometimes he’d have a second one if he was feeling extra hungry. Jimmy turned away from his food though to give Joel a raised eyebrow.
“What’s wrong?” Jimmy asked.
“I just remembered it’s my mom’s birthday today! I need to text her. And probably call her later…” He mumbled the last bit more to himself as he was already typing away on his phone.
“Wow, forgetting your mom’s birthday? That’s a new low.” Grian said, a teasing smirk on his face. Joel glared at him.
“Says the guy who forgot his sister’s birthday.” Joel retorted back. Grian’s teasing smirk was wiped off his face.
“I was 7!” Grian exclaimed.
“You’re twins!” Joel said and then laughed when he fully remembered the absurdity of it and the pout that had appeared on Grian’s face.
Jimmy took another bite of his nugget as he watched the familiar way his humans liked to tease each other. Though the topic of birthdays was one that hadn’t come up before. He had seen plenty of humans celebrate a birthday before. They usually threw a big party about it and opened a lot of presents. “Is she going to throw a party?” Jimmy decided to ask.
Joel wiped away the tears from his laughter and looked over at Jimmy. “Nah, she’d rather keep it casual, ya know? Her and my dad are probably just going to go out to dinner tonight.” Joel answered with a shrug.
Grian got a thoughtful look on his face. “Hey, Jimmy, when is your birthday anyway?” Grian asked, realizing that they never have. He hoped that they hadn’t missed it already.
Jimmy blinked. “Oh, uh…well, I don’t actually know.” Jimmy said, looking back down at his food.
Grian and Joel’s eyes went wide. “You don’t know?” Joel asked incredulously. “How do you not know?”
“Hey, borrowers don’t keep dates and time like humans do.” Jimmy explained, huffing a bit. “I’ve gotten a bit better at it, living in the college dorm and now with you guys. But back when I was a kid, there was no real way for my parents to pin the exact date I was born. Just that it was sometime in the spring.” Jimmy continued, thinking back.
“So, do you just celebrate it on a random day in spring then?” Joel asked again but Jimmy shook his head.
“No, birthdays aren’t really a…thing, for borrowers. I never even knew about birthdays until I moved here.” Jimmy said and then winced when Grian and Joel got those sad looks on their faces.
“So you’ve never celebrated your birthday.” Grian stated more than asked but Jimmy nodded all the same.
“I never really saw the point to.” Jimmy said with a small shrug. He didn’t even know what day his actual birthday was on, after all. And what could he have even done? Party, presents, and other people seemed to be the main things needed to celebrate a birthday and that had been impossible for Jimmy.
Grian hummed in thought and his gaze moved away from Jimmy. Joel looked like he wanted to say something more but Grian caught his eyes and shook his head. Joel sighed and took a rather passionate bite out of his hamburger. “I guess that makes sense.” Grian said, a bit too offhandedly for his previous reaction. “Anyway, Joel, did you see the test results for that math test the other day?” Grian said, changing the subject a little too suddenly. Jimmy looked at both of them suspiciously but didn’t say anything more, just continued to eat as he listened to them speak overhead.
He’s sure it was nothing.
***
Two days later and Jimmy had all but forgotten their conversation on birthdays. It was Friday afternoon and Jimmy was scrolling through Joel’s phone, waiting for his two humans to get back. Jimmy glanced at the time on the upper left side of the phone and frowned when he realized how late they were. Usually their classes on Fridays got out at 3 and it was already well on its way to becoming 5. Where could they be?
It was as if his thought summoned them because a moment later, Jimmy heard the sound of the door unlocking. He smiled and shut off the phone, turning toward the door. But instead of coming in normally, all of a sudden the door slammed open and Grian and Joel shouted in unison. “Surprise!”
“Ahh!” Jimmy screamed, almost falling over in how quickly he had backed up. He took a moment to recover but when he did, he noticed Grian and Joel were carrying things. Grian was carrying about three balloons of varying colors in one hand and a small box in the other. Joel had both his hands on a see-through container that was holding chocolate cake.
Grian bumped the door closed behind him and grinned at Jimmy. “Happy Birthday, Jimmy!”
“Yeah! Happy Birthday!” Joel also chimed in.
Jimmy blinked, looking back and forth between the two of them with wide eyes. “What?”
Joel chuckled and came closer after putting the cake down on his desk. He crouched down near his nightstand to be more eye level with Jimmy. “You said the other day that you’ve never celebrated your birthday before. So we’re here to change that!” Joel explained with a grin.
Grian came up from behind Joel, having put the box on the desk and the balloons tied to Joel’s chair. “We know it’s not spring anymore but we figured this could be a celebration of all the birthdays you���ve missed.” Grian said with his own grin.
They…wanted to celebrate his birthday? They had gone out of their way and bought things for him so they could all celebrate not just one birthday, but all the birthdays he had missed?
Jimmy could feel tears start to form in his eyes and he took in a shaky breath. He let out a little laugh as a few tears fell. “You guys…” He let out another laugh as he wiped away more and more tears.
“Oh, Jim.” Grian said softly but Joel was the one to reach forward and cup his hands around Jimmy, lifting him up and bringing him close, standing as he did so. Jimmy continued to wipe at his tears but moved his hands as Joel’s thumb came up and took over that job. Wiping gently at his face. Jimmy sniffed and leaned into the touch.
“You guys didn’t have to do this.” Jimmy said after a moment. Joel’s thumb lifted off his face and his tears were now more or less staying in his eyes.
“But we wanted to.” Joel said. “You deserve to celebrate your birthday just like everyone else.”
Jimmy sniffed and grinned. “Thank you. You guys are…you guys are the best.” Jimmy was so very lucky to have them.
Grian and Joel smiled down at him, their smiles soft and fond. “Don’t thank us yet.” Grian joked and moved out of Jimmy’s line of sight until Joel turned around, heading to the desk where Grian was pulling it away from the wall once again to use as a table. “You might hate the present we got you.” He continued to joke.
Jimmy rolled his eyes, his tears all but gone now. “I highly doubt it.”
“But, first things first.” Joel said and passed Jimmy over to Grian before he took the top off the cake. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a candle and a lighter. He put the candle in the center of the cake and then used the lighter to light it. “You gotta blow out your candle. Make a wish, Jimmy.”
Grian brought Jimmy closer to the flame and Jimmy looked at it for a moment before closing his eyes. Make a wish…
Jimmy smiled. He only really wished for one thing. That he, Grian, and Joel would continue to be friends for the rest of their lives. With this wish in mind, he blew as hard as he could and the fire went out.
As he opened his eyes back up and grinned at Grian and Joel, he knew without a doubt that his wish would come true.
#g/t#giant/tiny#borrowers#hermitcraft#hermitblr#hermitfic#hermitcraft g/t#borrower jimmy#tiny jimmy#bbbcau#bad boys borrower college au
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September
word count; 948 – f!reader
Autumn came suddenly, shaking everyone out of summer and sunshine and tucking them into warm coats, scarves and schoolwork. Hardworking students already started making their way to the library to work on whatever subjects they had that semester. Hirugami Sachiro was one of those students and had taken a seat by a table in front of a tall window looking out on the yellowing leaves of a tree. He was what you would call an excellent student, dedicating a lot of his time to school and sometimes even enjoying it.
On this particular day, however, he had a problem with concentrating. Another student sat by the same table, which wouldn’t usually be an issue, but the problem was that this person kept shaking the table by bouncing her leg and harshly erasing half of the things she wrote down. Hirugami didn't have to be a genius to understand your struggle. You looked like the classic stressed student who usually wouldn’t be in there before November. Hirugami has a kind soul, and a soft smile took over his face thinking that at least you were trying. "Tough subject or difficult chapter?" he asked, putting down his pen.
You looked up, startled. Hirugami noted your pretty features before his gaze fell on your notebook. He could barely make out the words. Feeling your cheeks heat up, you subconsciously pressed the back of your cold hand to one of them before chuckling half-heartedly down at the messy notes. "Both, unfortunately," you answered.
Hirugami moved his bag and scooted his books down the table to sit across from you. "I mean this with the best intentions, but do you need any help? I'm Hirugami," he introduced himself and held out his hand over the table. His calm expression and kind eyes somehow made a few of your worries feel smaller. You almost felt breathless looking at him, but being in no place to turn away help, you shook his hand with a grateful smile.
"Y/n," you said back before letting go of his hand to look over your useless notes again. Teeth chewing on a small piece of skin on your lip, you weren’t quite sure what to say. "I just never know where to start," you admitted, sighing apologetically. He gestured for you to hand over the course book, and you watched as his eyes scanned the first pages almost expertly. The fact of the matter is, you’re not stupid, just prone to getting overwhelmed.
After a minute or two, Hirugami leaned across the table and held up the book so you could read where he pointed. "You can start by reading through one paragraph at a time, then write down in your notebook everything you remember between each. After doing that for about two pages-”
He took a break to look up at you and you quickly nodded to show that you were listening. “Yeah?”
"You can grab a highlighter or something and go over to make sure that you've included all the difficult or important terms. If some are missing, that's no problem. You just have to rewrite, and then you'll hopefully remember it better anyway," Hirugami said, ending the monologue by taking a large breath and looking up expectantly. You were amazed by how he spoke so confidently and perfectly explained every detail.
"It's worth a try. Thanks, Hirugami!" you exclaimed gratefully. The way you said his name and looked so genuinely hopeful made butterflies flutter in his stomach.
"It's no problem, honestly. I'll be here if you need anything. Even a break." His voice went up in tone with the last part. With a warm smile in return before getting to work, you quickly decided that this Hirugami might be onto something.
You and Hirugami spent the rest of the evening in the library, whisper-talking every five minutes about someone doing something annoying or interesting topics in your course books. Eventually, the horizon swallowed the sun and the world turned dark outside the large window.
After several hours of productive studying, you could finally close your books for the day, yawning while Hirugami stretched his back. Looking around, you realised you were almost the only students left in the library.
"Hey, y/n?" Hirugami felt his stomach do flips when you rested your gaze on him. "Maybe we should get some food?" he asked, his voice not quite as confident as when he explained school-related topics. Your lips pursed together in a sympathetic look, and his heart suddenly plummeted.
"Sorry, Hiru. I have to go home now, it's late." Hirugami scratched the back of his head and awkwardly looked away.
"It's fine-" he was about to excuse himself, prepared to probably never talk to you again.
"How about tomorrow?" you asked him casually. He looked up again in surprise and you grinned hopefully. "We can meet for lunch!"
"It's a date." Hirugami quickly realised his mistake and stuttered a correction. "I-I mean not- not a date. Lunch." You chuckled at the cute man, how could you not? "When?" Nice save, Hirugami told himself, not believing it for one second.
"Noon?"
"Noon is perfect. Perhaps at this one place on the corner by the park?" Hirugami felt his heart beating so quickly that he wondered if you could see it. You were both rolling on the balls of your feet, clutching your books to your chests like a couple of teenagers.
"It's a date," you said and walked away after winking at him confidently, a stupid grin on your face when he couldn't see it anymore. Hirugami’s mouth fell open when he realised what you said, looking after you until you were out the door. A date.
The Schoolyear Series ║ masterlist
taglist: @cottonlemonade
#The Schoolyear Series#haikyuu#hq x reader#haikyuu x reader#haikyu x reader#fanfiction#hq#haikyuu x you#haikyuu fluff#haikyu#haikyu fluff#hirugami x reader#hirugami sachirou#haikyuu hirugami#hirugami sachiro x reader#haikyuu!!#hirugami#hirugami sachiro
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The First Taste
Roman offers you money if you just let him put the tip in. Just the tip, that's all (it's not all).
Tags - smut, loss of virginity, virgin!reader, virginity kink, big dick roman roy, dare i call that cock gargantuan, ludicrously capacious, even? Unprotected piv, fingering, blow jobs, cunnilingus, hand jobs, nipple stim, just the tip (it’s never just the tip) dubcon, manipulation, deception, coercion, betrayal, Roman solicits sex from reader and is also insensitive about stds, pay him no mind. I made myself soaking wet every day while writing this so. Do what you will with that information. 5.8k words. A/N - This is just...smut. Beginning to end. I’m gonna be working on stepdaddy after this, probably write a stepdaddy sick fic cuz I feel kinda like shit. Kisses to all yall sluts 😘
Finally, some fucking quiet. For now.
The couple in the hotel room next to yours has been going at it all night, a marathon of fucking. Endless moans, rhythmic squeaking of the bed becoming louder and faster, then quieter and slower. This couple makes you wonder if their room is the honeymoon suite or something, the way they’re fucking like a couple of newly-wed bunnies. You rest against the plush headboard, closing your stinging eyes momentarily.
You dipped from the wedding an hour or so ago, maybe closer to two hours at this point. It’s about midnight now. You’re alone in your room, crinkling the once neatly made bedding as you play a dumb little game on your phone. Your mind wanders as you mindlessly tap the screen, thinking about what the couple next door is doing. What he’s doing to her, what she’s doing to him. How good it all feels, probably. You wonder what it’s like.
Knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock–
Roman. You don’t even have to look through the peephole to know it’s him. Nobody else knocks like that, and nobody else would show up at your door at this particular hour. You sigh as you get out of bed, taking heavy steps toward the door before opening it.
“Evening, sexpot. You have something of mine and I’d like it back, please and thank you.”
Roman’s still wearing the outfit he wore during the wedding, though missing his suit jacket and tie. The sleeves of his white button down shirt are rolled above his elbows, there’s an extra button undone. Once neatly slicked back, his hair is now disheveled, a few loose strands falling over his eyebrows. His eyes are half-lidded, lips curled into that smug, casual, infuriatingly handsome smirk he always wears. He looks gorgeous.
“I do?” you ask, thinking before remembering quickly. “Oh, shit. Yeah, I do.” You open the door wider and make space to allow him to follow behind you, Roman first closing the door. You unplug his charger from the wall outlet and wrap the cord in a figure-eight around your fingers, some habit you’re not sure where or when you picked up. Roman holds out his hand and you place the charger in his palm. “So is the wedding finally over?”
“Mhm. You vanished on me, though, Cinderella. I thought I’d get at least a dance out of you but you stood me up, you heartbreaker, you. Felt like a virgin on prom night,” Roman laments with a dramatic flair, no real hurt in his tone. “But I’ll live. Me and some bridesmaid-chick totally dry humped on the dance floor, so it all worked out.”
You know he’s teasing, probably lying. Embellishing the truth. But it makes you squirm just the same, and you’re not totally sure why. You could be a little jealous, maybe. But there’s another reason, too.
“Anyway, uh. Thanks. I’ll leave you to it,” Roman says, toying with the charger cord.
“No, thank you. Came in hand–”
“Oh, fuck, like that. Just like that, harder, harder, fuck, ohhhh!”
You’re interrupted by the sounds of your temporary neighbor’s moans that you’ve become very well-acquainted with. “Oh my god,” you mumble, rolling your eyes.
Roman’s lips curl into an even wider smile, his eyes lighting up as he raises his eyebrows. “Oh, nice!” he says, giggling, “Man. That’s awesome. Lucky you, with your front row seat to the show. Maybe there’s a hole in the wall behind this mirror or something. You should see if you can watch.”
“They’ve been going at it for hours,” you deadpan.
Roman nods in approval, that big, stupid smile still on his lips. “Awh, fuck yeah. Good for them. You should ask to join. We both could, actually. Let’s go knock.”
Your cheeks heat up at the idea, even knowing Roman’s not serious. Probably not serious, at least. Roman notices this, takes mental notes of your flustered expression, how you look anywhere but at him. The shifting of your feet, the unnecessary movements your body makes as you squirm. “Ahh, too shy. I get it,” Roman says. “So you’re just - you’re…what, jerking off to it in here, all by your lonesome? Fuck, did I interrupt? How rude, let me get out–”
“No!”
“No? You want me to stay?”
“No - you - I–” you huff, closing your eyes as you inhale and exhale a deep breath. “I meant that I’m not…you know. Doing that.”
Roman’s eyes sparkle. “It’s okay, you can admit it. I know you ladies are more, you know - audio than visual.” He wiggles his fingers by his ears as he paces slowly around the room, inspecting the slice of cake you brought back with you from the wedding, swiping a bit of frosting off the plate with his finger before sucking on it.
“Stop it, Roman.”
“I think I’m gonna stay a while, if you don’t mind. Listen to the music.”
“Whatever, knock yourself out. I’m not sleeping as long as they’re still doing it.”
True to his word, Roman listens intently to the sounds of the couple fucking. You wouldn’t expect anything else from him. He makes little faces of intrigue or surprise at the noises, the extra loud moans or the occasional smack. You regret allowing him to stay. This is so fucking awkward, so you distract yourself by tidying up your already-pristine hotel room. Rearranging some glasses that haven’t been touched, then pouring yourself another glass of water even though you’re not actually thirsty. Roman notices all of this, too. At some point his attention shifts from the muffled noises coming from the other side of the wall to you, how you nervously flit around the room. He decides to up the tension, to make it all worse for you.
“We should fuck,” he says plainly. “You know, louder than them. Establish our dominance. There’s a bed right there.”
It takes you a second to reply. “Funny,” is all you say, your voice coming out quietly and not very confident. Fuck.
“You’re very shy about it, you know that?”
“Shy about what?”
“Oh, fucking - c’mon. You know what,” he deadpans. “Sex! Coitus. Fornicating. Love mak–”
“No, yeah. I got it–”
“Fucking,” Roman interrupts. “So why are you all shy about it?”
“I’m not - I’m not shy,” you stutter.
“But you are. Because you don’t talk about it, ever. You like, clam up, get all fuckin’ weird and quiet,” Roman says, gesturing to you. “And like right now, you won’t even look at me. It’s almost like you’re nervous or something. Are you?” he pauses, “Nervous, that is?”
You’re feeling defensive now, cornered, as Roman’s wedged himself deep under your skin. “No, I just - what does it matter, Roman?” you snap. Sighing, you sit on the edge of the bed and cross your arms.
“I just wanna know, that’s all. Just curious,” he replies, tempering his tone to be much less pointed, less mocking. “You know me. No judgement here.”
“I just…don’t feel the need to talk about it, I guess.”
“You can’t even say it,” Roman digs, crossing his arms. “Are you a prude? Is that it?”
“No, Roman, I’m not a prude. It’s just a very personal thing for some people.”
“Naturally.”
“Not that you’d understand,” you bite.
Roman presses a hand against his chest, pretending you’ve just shot him. “Ouch. But yeah, no, I get it.” Roman pauses, then joins you on the bed, the mattress dipping under his weight. “Is it herpes?” he whispers. “It’s herpes, isn’t it? You know, there’s no shame in it. I’ve actually created new strains of STDs myself in the course of all of my sexcapades. And look at me, I’m not ashamed,” he smiles, stifling a giggle at his own joke.
“If that’s true, Roman, you really should be. And don’t be facetious. That’s not something to laugh about.”
“No, you’re right, I’m sorry,” he concedes, the apology devoid of any sincerity at all. “So are you saving it for marriage, then? Gonna give Mr. Right your most precious gift?”
You freeze then. Roman’s getting warmer, burning hot. It’s not the truth, but it’s not…not…the truth. An inch away from uncovering your big secret, that you’re a virgin. Never had sex, not once.
It must be written all over your face in big, bolded letters or something, because Roman’s face twists in realization. His eyes are sparkling, jaw dropped in an open, wry smile. “Holy fuck,” he scoffs. “You’re shitting me. Virgin?! You’re a virgin? Oh my god, gross. Ew,” he laughs, turning your cheek to force you to look at him.
It makes you feel bad inside. Insecure. Your bottom lip quivers a little as tears well up in your eyes, that awful feeling of embarrassment taking over every one of your senses. Face hot, ears pounding, the walls closing in. “Roman,” you whisper, tilting your chin down to hide yourself.
“Hey - heyyy. Don’t fuckin’...don’t be like that,” he says, tilting your face back up. Roman laughs, then makes a sympathetic expression as he pulls you close, wrapping his strong arms around you in a tight hug. Some of your tears soak the collar of his shirt as he presses your face into his shoulder. “I’m very sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I took it too far, that’s on me. I’m sorry. Hey–” Roman nuzzles your hair, “I mean it. I’m sorry.”
You don’t say anything. You’re too pissed to speak but even if you weren’t, you’re not sure that you could conjure up any sort of response to…whatever the fuck just happened.
“It’s not so terrible, being a virgin.” Roman offers, rubbing your back soothingly as he kisses the top of your head. “There’s worse things to be.”
“Yeah? Like what?” you ask, voice muffled as you mumble into his shirt.
“Like…fuckin’ dead, I guess.” Roman thinks for a second, “Or ugly. And you’re not that, so…”
“Thanks, Rome,” you reply flatly.
“And guys like virgins,” he adds. “Like, do you know how much some creeps would pay to fuck virgin pussy?”
“Uhh…”
“Millions. They’d pay millions,” Roman says, taking note of how your ears perk up at the statement, the incredulous look you give him. “Yeah, now that’s interesting to you, isn’t it? Shit, I’d pay you for it. Let’s skip the middleman, huh?”
“What? No.” You pull away from Roman’s arms.
“Yes. Why not?”
Why not? Just the littlest amount of pushback from Roman and you’re already questioning the lines you’ve drawn in the sand for yourself. For a moment, you contemplate the idea of having sex with Roman, and you’re tempted - his naked body on yours, pleasuring you in a way you’ve never felt at the hands of someone else before, his attention all on you. His perfect, soft lips on yours as he swallows your moans, loving you the way you deserve. But ultimately you decide no, it’s not happening. It can’t happen. Not like how he’s suggesting. He doesn’t have the capacity to handle something like this with any amount of respect or tact.
“I don’t know, Roman. I guess that I always envisioned my first time having sex being with someone that I love. Or trust, at the very least.”
“And you don’t trust me?”
You scoff “Fuck, no.”
“Yeah, that’s smart,” Roman nods. “Okay, fine. I won’t pressure you. You save that special little gift of yours for someone who deserves it.”
You nod as you look down at the floor, tracing the pattern in the carpet with your eyes, gasping when you feel Roman touch your bare knee. “Or…” he murmurs.
“Or?”
Roman’s had the idea of screwing you in his head for a while now, and by his own admission, is especially turned on at the prospect of being the first one to fuck you. It fills him with a primal sort of feeling, knowing that at least for a moment, you’d be his. Your first lover’s name you’d moan would be his, your first orgasm at the hands of another will belong to him only, forever. There’s something about taking your virginity that fills him with a sickening, all-consuming sort of need. He’ll do it, too. By any means necessary.
“Just the tip,” he whispers, his warm hand sliding up your thigh to toy with the edge of your pajama shorts. He wriggles them even higher, not stopping even when you hold your breath and grab his wrist to keep him from traveling further. “Chill. I’m not doing anything,” Roman mumbles, sliding his hand out from under yours to take your hand and put it flat on the bed. He holds your thigh again and speaks slowly, quietly, “You just let me put the tip in and I’ll pay you the same. Whatever - whatever fuckin’ number you want, alright? Put however many zeroes at the end, and it’s yours…if you just let me put the tip in. Sounds easy enough, right?”
“Just the tip,” you repeat quietly, thinking…thinking that it sounds like bullshit, and yet, you’re kind of falling for it anyway. He makes you feel stupid, even when he’s not insulting you.
Roman speaks again before you can talk yourself out of it. “Just the tip,” he lies. “So long as I don’t - you know, fully penetrate you - technically, you’d still be a virgin by the end of our little thing.”
“You’re saying it wouldn’t count?”
Roman nods his head. “Wouldn’t count at all. It’s…a loophole of sorts,” he says, tracing his fingertips up and down your thigh, inching closer and closer to where he wants to feel you the most. “Virginity stays intact. C’mon,” he urges.
You’re fighting yourself. Roman can see the temptation and the self-preservation fighting each other in your mind, and he can’t let the smarter, safer side of you win this.
“You’ve got nothing to lose,” he adds. And he’d get to satisfy a curiosity, but that’s not something he needs to tell you.
“I don’t know, Rome. It - something about it makes me nervous.”
“I know. But I’ll be gentle with you, alright? I’ll take it nice and fuckin’ slow, walk you through the whole thing. No surprises.” Roman shifts a little and reaches into his pocket for his wallet, then pulls out a stack of bills, all hundreds, and places them on your nightstand. “There. Call it a fuckin’...deposit or whatever, I don’t know. Now do we have a deal or not, virgin?”
You bite your lip as you think - or do something resembling thinking, rather. You can’t think clearly, not with Roman’s hands now on your waist. He doesn’t have to touch you anywhere private or sensitive - just his hands on your body is enough to make your brain fucking melt, you poor thing. Don’t even know how badly you need it, need him. Roman will make it all better. Fix you.
“C’mon, baby,” he whispers, his hot breath tickling your ear. He presses a couple of kisses against the side of your neck, feeling your pulse beneath his tongue as he licks you there. You let out a broken moan in response, nodding urgently. Roman smiles against your skin in satisfaction. “Attagirl,” he murmurs, then pulls away from you. Your pupils are blown wide, lips parted. Perfect.
He dims the lamps around the room and turns off the overhead lights, casting the room in a warm, orange glow before joining you on the bed again. “Let’s fuckin’ do this thing. You ready?”
“I don’t - I don’t -”
Roman calms you down before you spiral. “Shh, relax. Relax. We’re going slow, like I said,” he reminds you. “God, you’re so fuckin’...c’mere.”
Roman puts both of his strong hands on your face, thumbs on your jaw, the rest of his fingers firmly pressing into your neck. He pulls you close and kisses you, and his lips feel even better than they look. You let out a little noise that Roman doesn’t acknowledge; he only continues to move his lips tenderly against yours, deepening the kiss when you begin to reciprocate.
He’s an excellent kisser. The way he uses his tongue makes you feel dizzy and sets your whole body on fire, and you feel his hands everywhere. Your face, your neck, your waist, digging his fingers into you and squeezing you like he loves you. “Gimme these.” Roman takes your hands in his own and puts them on his own shoulders, his silent way of showing you how it all should be done as he inches closer to you.
He’s warm, warmer than you imagined. Warm in a comforting way. He smells so…him. Slightly sweaty, but not in a bad way, with his cologne worn down to its base notes. He tastes good, but you couldn’t even begin to describe. You’d be content with just this tonight, really.
Roman deepens the kiss and lays you down gently, caging you in with his body. You’re still feeling out of your depth, unsure of where or how or if you should even touch him, though Roman doesn’t seem to mind. Of course he doesn’t mind. He’s got only one thing on his brain, and that’s ruining you. Touch him however you like or don’t touch him, he doesn’t give a fuck.
His fingers crawl beneath your shirt, climbing up your body until he’s squeezing gently at the flesh of your breasts. You gasp when he rubs his thumb in circles over your nipple, feeling it harden with his touch. “Rome-” you breathe, clutching his bicep.
“It’s okay,” he tells you, repeating the action with your other nipple, causing you to writhe beneath him. “I gotta get you ready for it, sweetheart.”
Roman pushes your shirt up as high as it’ll go, and kisses your neck, dragging his tongue down your skin. He uses the muscle to tease one of your nipples, putting to use his lips and teeth as well. His hands travel down your body, fingers passing over the neat little bow at the front of your pajama bottoms as they slide down towards your center.
You gasp when you feel him touch you there, just over the fabric. Roman groans as he rubs his fingers, feeling how you’ve soaked yourself. “Yeah, you weren’t fuckin’ lying, were you? Made a goddamn mess down here,” he mumbles, pressing little kisses against your neck.
“Lying about what?” you breathe.
Roman has to stifle his laugh so as not to embarrass you, but you are such a cliche, absolutely drenched from a bit of kissing. Too easy. “Shh, nothing,” he says. “Nothing. You’re fine.” Roman pulls your panties and shorts to the side, exposing your cunt to himself. “Has anyone ever touched you here before?”
You shake your head. “Mm-mm.”
Roman only nods as pulls your thighs apart, and your heart pounds hard. He traces your lips only momentarily before diving between your folds, feeling the pool of arousal he’s caused.
“Fuck,” you moan, eyes squeezing shut as you arch into his touch. “R-Roman, Roman…”
“Ohh, man, you’re sensitive,” Roman laughs quietly, rubbing lazy circles over your clit. “Holy fuck. That feel good? Huh, virgin?”
“Yeah,” you whimper, squeezing his forearm and bicep with your hands as if to anchor yourself or something. You feel like you’re gonna break. Everything feels heightened, but sort of sharp and fuzzy at the same time. Your head spins, and you can’t keep track of your thoughts.
You whine when Roman pushes his middle and ring fingers into your pussy, pumping them in and out slowly. “How does that feel?” he asks.
“Good, kinda - uh…kind - kind of hurts.”
“You gotta relax,” he tells you, “ It’s okay.”
Roman shifts a little and smiles at you before curling his fingers, stroking that special, sensitive little place deep inside your cunt you’ve probably never found on your own before. By the way your eyes roll back into your head and how you squeeze your legs shut around his arm, Roman guesses he’s right. “Oh my - fuck, Rome, that - you–” Your voice comes out in broken, breathy moans and you don’t bother finishing your sentence. All you can do is bury your face into his neck and try not to shatter into a million pieces.
Roman fingers you like that for a minute or two longer, listening to those wet noises your cunt makes for him, then slows down his movements before pulling away. “You’re ready for it,” he tells you.
“I am?”
“Absolutely.”
Roman leans back and sits you up, then pulls off your shirt without saying so much as a single word. He does the same to your shorts and panties, tossing them into a crumpled pile on the carpet. The way you squirm and hide yourself makes Roman smile. “Don’t be shy. I need to be able to see what I’m working with, right?”
“Yeah, no. That makes sense.”
“Hold on.” Roman unbuttons his shirt and shrugs it off, pulling off his undershirt too. His bulge is sizable in his black slacks, and when he unbuckles his belt and pulls the rest of his clothes off, his hard cock slapping against his tummy, your eyes widen. His dick is massive. The tip reaches his belly button, and it’s curved beautifully, slightly to the right. Roman wraps his fingers around it and squeezes, knuckles whitening a little.
“Y-you’re fucking huge,” you stutter.
“I know, right? It’s Roman Roy’s best kept secret.” He smiles wide, pleased with himself as he winks at you. “Alright. Spread those legs and let’s fuckin’ party.” Roman reaches for your ankles and pulls them apart, eyebrows raising when you fight to keep them closed.
“No! No, don’t.”
“...No?” Roman drops your ankles and sits back, eyeing you. “Scared?”
“Very.”
He chuckles. “You’ve never even felt a cock before, have you?” Roman asks, stroking his cock slowly. You shake your head and he nods in understanding. “Wow, it really is all new to you. That’s my bad, sweetheart.”
Roman lays down next to you again, this time flat on his back. He shifts a little and grabs your wrist, guiding your hand to his cock. “Get to know it a little. Just touch it, however you want,” he instructs. Roman waits for you to touch him, but you’re frozen. He raises an eyebrow, “It’s not gonna bite you.”
“I know, I just don’t know…don’t know what to do.”
Roman says nothing, only presses your fingertips against the large, blunt head of his cock. “Like this,” he says, dragging your fingers down his shaft. He wraps your fingers around his length, then lets you go. Your turn.
You slide your palm up and down his dick, just…taking it all in. His cock feels heavy in your hand which doesn’t surprise you, but you’re struck by his warmth, the heat radiating from him. You trace his veins, then squeeze him slightly in your fist, feeling him throb a little.
Roman patiently lets you explore, despite it being an excruciating tease, groaning softly as he tilts his head back. “Now when you do this for real, with your Mr. Right or whoever,” Roman says, “Don’t just tease him like this. You’ll piss him off,” he warns.
“I will?”
“Oh yeah. No, you’re even pissing me off a little bit. Like, if this weren’t a teaching moment, I’d fuck you in two for this shit.” Roman words scare you a bit, and you stop touching him. “Relax, will you? It’s not gonna happen. You’re in good hands.”
“Okay.”
“Let me show you what to do instead.” Roman takes your hand again, this time spitting in it. “You grab it like you mean it,” he says, wrapping your fingers tightly around his cock, tighter than you would have done yourself. “And–” Roman slides your palm up and down his length, helping you to maintain that firm pressure, “You go all the way up, all the way down. Like - fuck - yeah, like that. You’re a fuckin’ natural, virgin, look at you.”
Roman lets you work him on your own, simply enjoying the feel of your hand on his cock. He thinks it’s cute when you circle his tip with your fingers - it’s not something he taught you to do, but he doesn’t mind it.
“Does this feel like, good?”
“Feels awesome. But,” Roman purrs, “You know what’d feel even better?”
“What?”
“You gotta be brave, sweetheart. Do you want to be brave for me?”
You’re not feeling very brave or adventurous but you nod a little anyway, and Roman jumps at the opportunity. He moves you down the bed, sitting you down between his thighs that are spread wide. “You’re gonna suck my dick,” he tells you, grabbing your face with one of his hands. “Don’t freak out, okay? You’re gonna be fine. Open your mouth.”
Roman holds his thick cock between his thumb, middle, and forefingers. He taps the head against your bottom lip, encouraging you to open wider. When you open your mouth more, Roman lowers your head and fits himself between your lips, simply letting you get used to the feeling of him there. It takes a lot of patience on his part, to not fuck your mouth here and now.
You’re not sure what to do, and Roman knows this. Tangling his fingers in your hair, he bounces your head just a little on his cock, your tongue sliding over his weeping slit. The taste of his precome surprises you - it’s a salty, warm, masculine sort of flavor that you don’t really mind. You’re pleased by how soft his skin feels, how he smells. Gaining confidence, you take him deeper into your mouth.
If Roman were a better man, he’d stop you - he’d warn you that you’re going to choke on his cock, that it’s gonna be too much too quickly. But that’s not Roman, not by a long shot. He inches you further down his cock with each bob of your head, grinning at the way you gurgle and sputter a little. “Little more,” he says. “Keep going.”
Cock in mouth, drool dripping down your chin, you look at Roman, searching for some sort of approval or encouragement. “You got it. And use your tongue, sweetheart. You can make a mess on me. You should, actually.”
You move your tongue in inconsistent patterns, swirling it around his length as Roman moves your head. “Breathe through your nose,” he instructs. “You’re doing so well.”
He lets out soft little groans and his eyes shut for a moment, lips parted. Saliva is running down his cock and your jaw is beginning to ache from his girth, but Roman ignores your noises of discomfort and the tears in your eyes. He fucks himself deeply into your mouth, pushing you far past the point he should. Then suddenly, you gag and cough harshly, pulling yourself off of him. “Oh, fuck. Fuck,” you spit.
Roman rubs your back and stretches across the bed, reaching for your glass of water. “You’re good, you’re alright,” he says, pressing the glass against your lips. “Have some water. You’re not supposed to take me all at once, virgin. That’s how you choke,” he taunts.
After finishing the water, Roman takes your glass and sets it back on the nightstand. “Alright. Back to you, sweetheart. Lie back and spread your legs for me.”
You tremble a little as you lie down, parting your legs only a little. You feel the bed shift with Roman’s moving weight and close your eyes, nervously anticipating the inevitable.
Roman pushes your knees toward your chest and lowers himself, smirking at how tense you look with your short breaths, your fingers fidgeting with the comforter. He could warn you of what’s to come with a couple of kisses pressed against your inner thighs, but it’ll be more fun to surprise you.
He licks your sex from bottom to top with a flat tongue, dragging it slowly through your folds. “Roman,” you gasp, hands darting for his head. You tangle your fingers in the sleek strands of his hair, tugging on them tightly. “You - you’re–”
“Shh,” he interrupts. His stubble scratches your inner thighs as he teases you, tongue circling your clit. Roman buries himself in that softest and most private place on your body, rubbing the tip of his perfect nose against your clit as he tastes you. He circles your entrance a couple of times before dipping inside, tasting your arousal right from the hole it trickles from.
You’re babbling incoherently, whimpering his name as he then drags his tongue up and down your folds. He circles your clit once, then twice, then pulls the hood back and laves over the sensitive bud repeatedly, forcing you to lie still with a strong hand holding you down. He savors you like this, how you shudder and shake, muscles tensing as you fight to close your legs, not used to a feeling so intense. Roman fucks you with his tongue, guiding you through the first orgasm you’ve ever shared with another as you gush into his mouth, clit throbbing under his tongue.
When Roman pulls away, you feel like you could cry. You bite your bottom lip to keep it from wobbling and try to will away that pressure building behind your eyes, but it’s hard. You wonder if Roman notices.
“Now you’re really fuckin’ ready,” he tells you.
“Okay,” you breathe, voice shaking. “Just the tip?”
“Mhm. Just the tip,” Roman confirms. He hovers over you and reaches between your legs to gather your arousal on his fingertips, then coats his cock in your slick. When he presses the thick head of his dick against your pussy, your heart races. You can’t conjure the words to tell him what you need, and urgently take his free hand in yours.
“You wanna hold my hand?” Roman smirks and laces his fingers between yours, pinning your hand against the bed. “We can hold hands, sweetheart.” And then, in one swift, brutal motion, Roman fully buries his cock fully inside you.
It sends you reeling. He’s so huge, it feels like he’s splitting you in two. You feel betrayed and try to squirm away, but Roman forces you to stay down with a hand on your ribcage. Forces you to take it, to feel it all. “Shhh, shh. You’re - hey - you’re fine.” Roman catches the free hand you use to try and shove him backwards and pins it to the bed with the other.
“Y-you–” you sob, unable to form a sentence.
“Ohhh, I know, I know, I know,” Roman coos mockingly. “I played a dirty trick on you, huh? Wasn’t very nice of me, was it?”
You look at Roman and cry, tears falling down your temples and into your hair. With his hand still clutching yours, he uses your own knuckles to wipe some tears away. “Poor thing. You’ll get used to it.”
“But you said–”
“I know what I said,” Roman interrupts. “It’s never just the tip, baby, you know that. Or–” Roman pauses, thrusting into you deeply, “Maybe you really don’t know that. But this is real life, sweetheart. It’s a cruel fuckin’ world out there.”
Roman sets a pace then, drawing in and out of you. Not particularly harshly or quickly, because the penetration alone hurts enough. He rocks his hips, pulling out of you and filling you up all the way with every stroke.
“Roman, stop–”
“No. Fucking take it.”
Roman ignores your sounds of discomfort, going so far as to cover your mouth instead. Your sobs are muffled under his palm, skin dampening with tears and saliva. Roman builds the tempo, lips curled into that awful, lopsided smile. “Listen to yourself. You’re fuckin’ soaked, do you hear that?” he taunts through a strained breath.
The pain is utterly blinding, until it isn’t. You almost resent the way the hurt is replaced with pleasure now, because the betrayal is still there. Betrayal by Roman, and now by your own body. This…this isn’t what you were promised. You trusted Roman and he exploited that, but you’re fucking enjoying it.
Roman’s palm tastes salty over your mouth. When he removes it, a moan slips past your lips, and Roman grins. “Yeah, there it is. Not so terrible, huh, baby?”
You free your hands from his grip and wrap your arms around his shoulders, which is the only thing that feels right. You don’t entirely know why, you just know that you need him close. Roman pulls back a little to watch you, his greenish, hazel eyes darkened with something primal as he pulls out of you and pushes into you, again and again and again. You bury your face in his neck as he fucks you, and one of his hands slide up your torso to grope your breast and tease your nipple.
“Your pussy feels so fuckin’ good,” Roman grunts, rutting his hips into you. He’s in love with all of this, in truth. Addicted. How soft your body is for him, for his hands to squeeze and his fingers to dig into. He could fucking eat you.
He fits his hand between your bodies, the heel of his palm pressing into your pubic bone. He rubs your clit in circles, thrusting into you harder, faster, deeper. “Look at me. Right here” he pants, using his free hand to hold your face. “Come on my cock. Come for me, sweetheart.”
He pulls your orgasm from you effortlessly. Roman’s name spills from your lips in choking sobs as you come on his cock, feeling impossibly full as your cunt pulses around him. It’s the heaviest, most overwhelming feeling, washing over you in waves, muscles spasming and twitching. Roman’s thrusts turn frenzied and frantic, and there it is - he’s coming too. Milking himself inside you, spurting thick, hot ropes of his come, and you take all of it.
Roman pulls out of you then, and uses two fingers to push his escaped spend back inside your poor, raw, throbbing cunt. This time, you do cry. “Ohh, come here,” Roman says softly. He scoops you up into his arms and holds you tightly, stroking your hair. “You okay?”
“No,” you sniffle.
“No?” Roman repeats, momentarily moving you to lean over the bed. He reaches for his pants and grabs his phone out of the pocket, then takes his place next to you again, pulling you into his side tightly. “You’ll get over it. Watch,” he murmurs, unlocking his phone and opening Venmo. He pulls up your profile and shows you the screen, the little blue cursor blinking. You type in a number, then give the phone back to Roman, who adds an extra zero before tapping Pay.
If you enjoyed, please lmk ♡ i love when you reblog and send me asks. It means the world to me ♡
romey tags
@goldenispunk @littlevenicebitch69 @gaeela-6 @bean-is-reading @slutsoutgutsout
@galarian-weezing-on-prep @cum-a-calla @pastelpinkflowerlife @kolsmikaelson @moth-maam56
@kothku @cult-of-escapism @swiftiegirliepop @bluecookies-and-ink @romanarose
@kappasbbgirl @magpiepills @highinmiamiii @verstappensrealwife @thesummerpetrichor
@lilipads @luiscarrutherss @baronessvonglitter @myromeow
@ovaryacted @doll-0f-flesh @always-andromeda @causesimmer @pedropascalbabygirl
@baloobalee @slimybeth69 @pearlstiare @romanisbrat @callsignwidow @ziggymars
#roman roy x reader#Roman Roy x reader smut#Roman Roy smut#roman roy x you#Roman Roy/reader#Roman Roy/you#roman roy#Kieran Culkin#succession#succession fic
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You just don't think antis are a problem because they're not in your fandoms. Once they start making posts with thousands of likes accusing you of being a pedophile and threatening to find out where you live and work so they can report your pedophilic tendencies because you ship teenagers (shounen characters), you'll start caring very quickly. Not in favour of that happening to you? Cool, you're a proshipper.
The fuck
#just woke up to get a glass of water#checked my phone and saw this#took me a whole minute to figure out what was going on lmao#it’s way too early to argue and also I don’t care enough at five in the morning#I just want to ask since when the fuck does teen wolf not have antis#holy shit the amount of antis in this fandom even years after the dumb show is over#but anyway I think you’re missing the point#there shouldn’t be proshippers or antis cuz it’s so pointless#pretty sure that’s what op meant#and nobody should care so much about it that they’re attacking ppl over it like you said#cuz don’t like don’t read is like basic decency and common sense#and most ppl have a lot more real life problems to deal with#than caring about what someone else thinks about character A going down on character B or whatever the problem is#but literally nobody is saying antis aren't a problem#we're actually saying antis are ridiculous for making such a big deal about sth that really doesn't matter in the greater scheme of things#that’s my 5am contribution I’m going back to bed
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something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.
“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”
#makoto naegi#Danganronpa character analysis#Danganronpa#danganronpa thh#danganronpa future arc#I fucking love Makoto Naegi man.#I think there’s a fine line of nuance to Makoto that’s easy to miss bc he doesn’t really make it known#he’s not a pushover and he’s not overpowered. he’s a people pleaser but he will say what needs to be said#he’s an immovable object and the exact opposite of Junko but he’s also just a normal guy who’s optimistic and (un)lucky#he isn’t invincible but he has immense power to his words the same way Junko did#if anything his superpower is being kind above all else. he’s compassionate to some of the worst people in the world.#he was even conpassionatr to an extent to Junko. he didnt want her to kill herself despite everything she’s done#and he still acknowledges that for years she was a classmate and friend.#I do think the more he learned abt what she did the more he’s come to actually hate her though#post the first game he always refers to her without a suffix to her name which is one of the most subtle rude things you can do#it means you have zero respect for the person you’re referring to#and he speaks about her with some venom he doesn’t use for anyone else in the future arc#he’s not incapable of feeling negative emotions#I really liked the future arc scene bc it showed that Makoto DID experience enough despair to have overcome him if he didn’t refuse#and that it still affects him deeply. people treat him like he’s either this perfect ideal Chad or this baby chick who’s so delicate#and no one really focuses on how makoto shoulders so much and yet is still vulnerable.#honestly that guy was DUE for a mental breakdown even without the tape. it would have happened eventually#I actually wrote one based on him finally hitting a breaking point after giving so much of himself away and keeping nothing for himself#that his issues that he shoves down constantly finally can’t be held down anymore. Hajime helps him bc he knows how that feels#it was a LONG time ago that I wrote that but honestly if I can remember where i was going w it I might finish it#it was initially an rp but I could make it a fic#anyway. the point is Makoto is SO much more complex than people give him credit for#the most fundamental thing about him is that he’s normal and that’s ok! that’s what helps him rise!
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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#I hadn’t posted about this but last night I found out that my cousin’s kid had gone missing while travelling with friends in Barcelona#they’d lost contact with him 24 hours earlier#and couldn’t find him anywhere#and my mum was with my cousin at the police station for a few hours while they launched an investigation#that basically went from the Victoria police > Australian federal police > interpol > Barcelona police#nobody had any idea where he was and it was genuinely terrifying#anyway I just woke up to a message from mum#saying that they found him and he was okay#his phone and wallet had been stolen#and the poor kid had been wandering around Barcelona for almost two full days trying to find the airbnb#what a massive relief#we were all so worried about him#I guess he was initially a little drunk and shaken up by having his stuff stolen#so didn’t think to wait in the last place he’s seen his friends#and by the time he sobered up he was dehydrated and exhausted and hungry so wasn’t thinking any clearer#especially seeing as it’s been pretty hot there#anyway let this be a psa reminder that if you’re visiting a country where you don’t speak the language#ALWAYS make sure you have a planned meeting point that you know how to find#in case you get into a situation like this#and at the very least learn how to ask for help in the language the locals speak#god he’s so lucky he didn’t end up passed out from heat stroke#or worse
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i love complaining so here’s my complaint of the day! people who watch horror movies and their only takeaway, when prompted by somebody analyzing/understanding part of the film, is “well it didn’t have to result in murder/they didn’t have to do that/that scary thing was unnecessary” are SO fucking annoying. you watched the horrifying movie full of dramatized realities and thought the horrifying things were unnecessary? why even bother with horror at all. go home and turn on gilmore girls and titanic you’ll be alright. those will be easy for you to digest since clearly you can’t think deeply about anything that isn’t completely down to earth and rational
#people who think pearl who just wanted to be understanded didn’t need to kill people to get that… hello?#that’s the point. the murders are meant to show how deeply she feels#how the hole in her chest gapes#how much she feels like she’s missing#what would drive her to commit such acts#it’s not meant to be realistic or reasonable but by seeing her struggles you’re meant to sympathize anyway#when you think deeply about it. you know#because so many actual non-murderers feel that way#and everything people say about pearl is just incorrect to be honest#they all just see surface level when it’s much deeper than that. the movie is an art. it contains multitudes#not to sound like a four eyes but like… yeah??!#her mom neglected her she was completely abandoned her husband at war she had no friends couldn’t leave her farm bc of the pandemic and her#father was practically comatose and he was the parent she loved the most. how did you expect her to react in a horror movie no less#you’re meant to think about her character… and you don’t even have to try very hard in this case because she has like a 7 minute monologue#explaining everything she feels and why#and how she knows it’s wrong or off putting#like be so seriousjxkxhdjshf#i love pearl.#SORRY FOR BAD LANGUAGE I AM REALLY SICK RIGHT NOW#LIKE BEDRIDDEN#crazy ass fever shaky and Ugh Oh God#so anyway i meant *understood not understanded
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y’all learned the term “media literacy” and have not shut the fuck up since
#rant below#but omg#It’s such an important term and topic of discussion and also a genuine concern within our society YES.#but some people are using it in such a pseudo intellectual pretentious way that they’re not even using it correctly anymore#they just wanna act like they’re intellectually superior to others when they’re really just putting down different interpretations and#mindlessly defending their fav media without actually being willing to hear the other out#Like just because I have a different interpretation to you or like or dislike something that doesn’t mean I’m illiterate. What#“Hey I actually think th” “ERMMM WELL MAYBE YOUR MEDIA LITCHRUSSY-🤓🤓🤓🤓” THIS IS HOW YOU SOUND😭#Media literacy is not about what to interpret in a work#And if you’re using the “bad media literacy” argument to slam down well thought out interpretations that just happen to be different#then I think that only goes how ironically enough YOU lack media literacy for not understanding and/or missing the point of the discussion#don’t get me wrong bad media literacy definitely does exist and is a problem#like I’ve genuinely heard some ASS takes that are clearly due to bad media literacy#but they’re not the source of every bad take. God#hell it’s not even just bad takes that get slammed with this label like I said it’s just a difference in opinions#like just because I don’t like your fav it doesn’t mean I don’t understand them or am mischaracterising them??#that also leads into the issue of people defending their favs no matter what and having a weird sense of loyalty to them even if there is#valid crit against them#but that’s a whole can of worms I don’t wanna get into rn#anyways#my post#yapping#yapping in tags#TLDR a genuinely important discussion and term is being turned into a pseudo intellectual buzzword. Nothing new on the internet tho
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what if i wrote wildly ooc cell/roommates au comfort fic. what then.
#i mean it’s in-character in my heart#i just still need to watch more felpsvods to like you know. properly understand his characterization. bc im winging it.#anyway i am just having a night ykno#and i think the canon non-compliant world’s most unconventional enemies-to-besties duo would help#but first i gotta actually finish studying 0(-(#man mini side tangent but oh my god the pressure i feel to make everything I write ‘in character’ is so overwhelming holyshitttttt#‘you have to be true to the characters else you’re Missing The Point’ vs. ‘it’s fanfic it’s not that serious just have fun!’#chrissttttttt#ugh don’t get me started on this i rly gotta get some work done#this is already a borderline vent post we can’t get into that rn lmao
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extremely frustrating situation
#overly long winded explanation incoming#so i’m gonna be living with two friends starting this fall#my parents bought a little townhouse and we’re renting from them#so they’re getting all of the paperwork and contracts and leases figured out#and these two friends are just. awful with deadlines. horrific. just the worst.#my dad has been flexible but he’s had to keep nagging them again and again to get these forms signed and whatever#and one of them finally finished the whole process and she’s good to go#but the other one still just needs to get the lease signed/notarized with their dad. like. asap. like within a few days.#and i’m trying my best to be like heyyyy sorryyyy not trying to nag or anything but we do need that ASAP…. it should be quick and easy…#i know you’re working double shifts every single day and your dog just died im so sorry#but my parents say you should be able to just go to the bank during a lunch break to get it notarized…..#please don’t be mad at me or my parents for saying we need this Now…… i’m sorry i know you have a lot going on but we do Need that done#right away….#anyway i don’t want you to be mad at me or think i’m just nagging so here’s a topic change! oh you didn’t respond to the topic change.#fuck me then. god. i can’t tell if you’re mad at me or not but i have the suspicion you Are. and that’s making Me mad at You#like god man just come the fuck on already you’ve missed every other deadline up to this point too. can you please just FUCKING get#everything submitted so we can stop worrying about it and just get excited to live together!! because it’s gonna be fun!!#but it’s worrying me too bc like… if this is how they’re acting before we’re even living together#and they’re missing all of these deadlines#am i gonna have to nag them to pay their rent every month?#it’s just frustrating bc it feels like they’re taking advantage of the fact that it’s my parents and not some other landlord#so they don’t think the deadlines my parents set are like. actual deadlines#meanwhile if it WASNT my parents they’d literally be out of a place to live because the housing market is so fucked there#and if you don’t get everything submitted within The Day then you’re no longer a candidate to rent the place#if you can even get to that point in the first place#so like. my parents are being exceptionally flexible and obv i can’t really know what this friend’s thought process is#but it feels like they’re just kinda taking them for granted and taking advantage of their kindness#like fuck dude just please come on
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Back in university I tried to get into makeup because I wanted to feel pretty and feel as if I were trying, ya know!!! Boost the self esteem!! But mostly because everyone around me wore makeup and I felt like I wasn’t progressing enough?? I has a HUGE aversion to makeup being put on my face by family and I didn’t like the way it felt. But I wanted to try cause I was getting older and again ✨insecure.✨ And my cousin tried to help me buy stuff but she only took me into the store and told me to pick stuff out. The issue she didn’t seem to understand was I didn’t know how to start.
I’d seen a few videos of beauty gurus doing very beautiful makeup but the first step always confused me and I didn’t WANT a super fun unique style I just wanted to be done up a little so I wouldn’t be lost when I had to do it in the future. I left with maybe a lipstick or two and gold eyeshadow. 🥹 she seemed so irritated with me and I felt so bad.
So the first time I wore the eyeshadow I didn’t know how to apply it and I just smeared it on my eyelids because who was going to show me. 😭 and i felt like I was being stared at the whole day. Eventually I wiped it off out of embarrassment and also because I didn’t want my mom to know. I felt like she’d tease me for NOW wanting to try makeup when I claimed to hate it so much before. I snuck it into a drawer in the bathroom. It was eventually found by my sister who asked where it came from but when she never received an answer she kept it 🥹
And similarly, the two lipsticks I bought. I carried them in my backpack because I didn’t know where else to keep them. I fell in love with this dull pinkishy shade. I always applied it at school and took it off before going home. Sometimes I’d reapply it in the bathrooms in the science (math) building and honestly!!! I felt beautiful!!!!! Except I still didn’t like how it felt too much when I applied it bleh, and I felt like people were judging me for not applying it well. 🥺 eventually those too got tucked into the drawer and were found by my sister who was still confused by this lost makeup and decided to keep them.
#melifails#i saw a post about lipstick shades between red and pink and it sent me back to the science bathroom#when I’d gleefully pull out that pink tube look in the mirror and put it on#i miss that feeling#the quick little boost of confidence of feeling like I was finally like other girls#i still feel weird about it like I’m not aging fast enough#and so i have to compensate somehow ?? right?#but I’m not doing a very good job to be honest I don’t dress special and when I do I think I look very comical like what you’d expect a#child to wear or an older person just trying to be comfortable#so I’m nice and I’m sweet and I speak with a high pitched voice hoping that’s enough but I think it just makes it worse somehow#It’s me but is me enough?#i find it very funny that I’m shedding tears over lipstick#anyways that’s it that’s all I’m sorry if you read all that#it actually started off fondly and quickly went down into my insecurities but hey!!!#we embrace our insecurities here were honest about them 👏🏽👏🏽 because whats the point in hiding how we feel#besides this is my diary and you have the key to read it#okay lov e u you’re beautiful/handsome/spiffy
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(quite possibly) going to change my username when i come back from my hiatus >.<
#♡ jordy is thinking ♡#this (semi) hiatus was unintended#mini story:#there’s been a lot of stress these past couple of weeks#an incident happened at home n the police were/are involved#we’ve had a lot of measures put into place to maintain our safety#but the last few weeks have had me paranoid n my anxiety has been up n down a lot#i had wanted to come back to tumblr much sooner but i feel like i’m all over the place rn#it doesn’t help that i’ve also had a lot of stress at work too#(bc our class teacher is making our work life hell)#n i just haven’t had the chance to catch a break#on the plus side#i’ve been going to the gym regularly#n i’m finally starting to see some changes#(n may have accidentally developed a crush on one of the guys who work there)#hhh#anyways#i think a new name is needed bc i don’t particularly feel anything towards this one anymore so i’ll try to think of something cute#i hope things will settle soon n i hope to be back to writing/posting at some point in the near future#missing everyone n i hope you’re all safe n doing well#<3
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