#but anyway I feel pretty motivated to get back into at home workouts

[rainia]

I kinda miss going to the gym imma be honest. I fucking loved working out there and having my own space.

then I remember that a instructor called Reginald of all fucking names used to try flirt with me and it was super fucking uncomfortable but I couldn’t avoid him because he was always hanging around the gym entrance (and obviously worked there), but I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it so I just felt incredibly annoyed every time. yeah.

[bigification]

Spiked

Friday,

I feel strong, but these protein shakes haven't been helping my bulk as much as I want. I'm still too skinny. Maybe I should give them more time though, I've only been taking them for a couple weeks after all. I'll try bumping it up to two a day, and I'll eat more, that should help.

I pick up my phone as I leave the gym and stare at the Grindr app. Should I? Is it fair to Dean that I keep bringing back guys to our place. This would be the fourth time this week, I think I can hold off for his sake. Anyway, I put away my phone and head back to my apartment.

"How was the workout?" Dean asked when I got home. I'm shocked, he's never really been interested in my workouts before. We used to go together before we were roommates but now that we live together, the gym is a rare activity we do apart. Besides, he hasn't really been going that much recently.

"Oh, it was good... I'm just not bulking as much as I want to." I reply.

"That must be why you got those protein shakes, huh?"

Why is he taking so much notice of this stuff now? We can share the shakes if he really wants to, he might just be trying to motivate himself to get back in the gym. But he could just ask if that's what he wants. "Ya, I'm gonna try to drink more, maybe that'll help." I say as I go to the fridge and grab one.

"That's good." Dean says in a flat tone, he usually does this when he's lost interest in a conversation.

I get distracted from the conversation anyway as I drink the shake. Something seems different about it, it's got a bit of a bitter aftertaste now. I figure it's probably just me getting tired of the taste and shrug it off.

Saturday,

I wake up in a cold sweat. This was unusual given that I get up every day at this time to go to the gym. I look to the clock and it's... 10 o'clock. Holy shit, I slept in. I'm usually at the gym by 8. I calm down a bit when I remember it's Saturday, so I have nothing to do anyway.

I roll out of bed and hobble my way to the bathroom. My head is spinning and my stomach is growling, I felt hungover. I didn't drink last night did I? I don't really remember. However, all of that leaves my mind in an instant when I look in the mirror. I rub my eyes and look again. Where do I even begin. An itchy beard now covers my face, despite the fact that I shaved yesterday morning. My sweat glistened on my distended stomach, my six pack buried under a soft bloat. My pecs are swollen and slightly rounded.

What the fuck. My mind is trying to process what's happening, but it can't. I turn to the side and see the subtle S shape in my stomach and my ass. Was it the shake? It couldn't have been, it hasn't done shit for me in weeks and now it does this! You know what, this is fine. I pinch my stomach. It's mostly bloated, just a small layer of fat, nothing I can't work off in a couple weeks. If anything this will give me a head start on my bulk.

I throw on some of my loose gym clothes that do a decent job at hiding my physique, but I still look different. I grab my gym back and try to sneak out, I don't want Dean seeing me like this. I quickly try to rush out the door, but I stop dead in my tracks when I hear Dean.

"I didn't know you were still home, you usually leave before I get up." He says nonchalantly.

"Oh ya... I just decided to sleep in today." I pull my bag to cover my stomach.

"Okay, have fun at the gym. Nice beard by the way, when did you decide to grow it out."

"I've just been a bit lazy with shaving it, that's all." I'm sweating buckets.

"Well it looks good, you should keep it." He smiles at me.

I can feel myself blush, so I smile and get out as quickly as possible. I chug a protein shake on the way to the gym, noting that bitter aftertaste again. It's probably nothing, I have bigger issues to deal with.

Once I start my workout, I feel pretty self conscious about my body. I know no one else could know that something is off, but I still feel off. But as the workout goes on, I start feeling more and more comfortable. I start hitting more reps than I ever have before, though cardio is a bit of a slog. It doesn't matter, I feel surprisingly great. I finish off the workout great, and flex in the mirror for a bit of a confidence boost.

I drink another shake on the way home. As I get home, Dean seems to be waiting for me. He asks how my workout was again. He's acting so weird again. I decide to spend the rest of the day out, drinking the night away. I am bulking after all.

Sunday,

I wake up feeling like I got hit by a truck, with no memory of how much I drank last night. I've never felt like this after a night out though. The more I think about it, the more my mind points me to the shakes. They have to have something to do with this. I don't have time for this right now though, I have to get to the gym.

I brush my teeth and shave, I'm shocked at the beard I grew in just two days. I try throwing on some clothes, but I feel some resistance. My largest gym shirt no longer fits, there's always a sliver of skin showing and it goes past my belly button when I reach up. My shorts fit a bit better, but they hug my ass very tight. I think I'll have to buy some new clothes on the way home.

The workout goes similarly to yesterday. I start self conscious of the fact that my belly is showing and my shorts look like they're about to rip. But the worry escapes my mind when I destroy my routine. I feel so strong.

I feel great by the time my workout ends. I head to the locker room and take off my shirt. Yeesh, I have a full on beer belly now. This is no longer just a bloat, my stomach is covered in a thick layer of fat. I didn't even know you could gain this much fat in only a couple of days, and I'm not even eating that much. And what's with the beard, I shaved this morning and it's already coming back in. Although my arms are looking massive, I could even feel my sleeves stretch from my biceps when I was working out. I stare at my belly a bit as I think about what to do.

I throw on my shirt again and head out. I pull up to a clothing store and pick out a few loose gym clothes that should fit me if I bulk even more.

"Hi, where are the change rooms." I ask an employee.

"Oh.." he pauses for a moment, looking at my belly. I notice that my shirt is riding up more than it was this morning. I instinctively cover my exposed belly with my arms and shrivel up in embarrassment.

"Just over there sir." He awkwardly points to the back of the store.

I grab a few larger clothes on the way out and leave the store as fast as humanly possible. I instinctively down another shake on the way home. Dean didn't say anything to me when I got home, but he glanced at me and then looked away. He is acting so strange.

I woke up in the middle of the night, there was a rattling coming from the kitchen. I walk out to investigate and see Dean doing something with the protein shakes. Is he secretly drinking them at night? He could just ask and I would give some to him. But I see him pour something into the shake and then close it back up again before putting them back in the fridge. What the hell? I try to think of what he could be doing. He stashes something away in the bottom of the cupboard and starts walking back to his bedroom. I quickly hide in my room until I hear his door close, and then I go back to the kitchen to investigate. I look at the protein shakes in the fridge and notice their seals have been broken, I can't believe I never noticed that. I move over to the cupboard and find a small bag with white powder in it. It looks like coke, but why the fuck would Dean put coke in my shakes. And besides, I don't think fat, muscle, and hair growth are symptoms of coke. Maybe I'll give him a taste of his own medicine. I go back to the fridge and pull out the jug of orange juice that Dean drinks every morning. I have no idea how much he put in my shakes, so I just pour a bunch in. I kind of feel like a secret agent, sneaking in a mysterious powder into his drink. I would feel worse, but he already did this to me so I'm fine ignoring my morals this time.

I head to bed, lying awake in my bed for a while. Thinking about what I just did, thinking about the results. It's making it hard to fall asleep, but I eventually do.

Monday,

I wake up feeling better than I had the past few days. I go through my normal routine, throw on my gym clothes, and grab a bite to eat. When I open the fridge, i see the orange juice and protein shakes and I'm reminded of my situation. Every morning I get a few moments of blissful ignorance before it's ripped away. I think for a bit, then grab a couple shakes and put in my bag. I'm kinda liking this new me, the strong me, and the belly is definitely growing on me. I catch my reflection in the mirror as I head out, I'm really committing to this aren't I? I ask myself as I look at the bushy beard that has engulfed my face and the belly and moobs that are unmistakable under my shirt. I smile and then head to the gym.

Every day that I spend at the gym, I get less self conscious. I almost forget about the fact that my hairy gut I exposed to the world whenever I reach up. I only care about the fact that I have been increasing the weight on my workouts every day and it feels amazing.

I take a shower and get dressed for work... Oh shit. I never bought work clothes that fit me, I'm reminded when I try in vain to button up my dress shirt. I stop by the store again and grab a couple shirts and pairs of pants. The thought of the protein shake in my car makes me think of the future, so I buy a few clothes in larger sizes too.

I barely make it to work on time. The day went by fast, but all I could remember were the stares and the comments from coworkers. "You forget to shave this morning Santa?" "Might want to lay off the doughnuts in the break room buddy." "We're concerned about your health." "Did you forget to stop bulking?" That was all I heard today. It was embarrassing at first, but it soon turned to encouraging. Each sly comment just makes me want to grow more. It honestly makes me realize how much I'm enjoying growing, and makes me even more excited to see what happens to Dean. It was hard to keep my dick in my pants today, I think the only reason no one noticed was because they were too busy staring at my gut.

I make it back home after work and dress down to my underwear first thing. Damn I am getting hairy, I run my hands through the forest of hair that has grown all over my body. As I'm doing so, an amazing idea runs through my mind. I'm gonna surprise Dean. There's no way I can hide the changes in my body regardless of how baggy my clothes are, so I'm just gonna show it off. I lay down on the couch by the front door, still only in my underwear, and I wait for him to show up.

"I'm hom- Oh hey..." Dean stutters as he sees me.

"Hey bud, what's up." I say nonchalantly.

"Just tired from work, where are your clothes?"

"I had a crazy workout today, just figured I'd air out a bit. Ever since I started this bulk, things have really taken off for me at the gym." I say while I rub my gut. In trying my best to make him uncomfortable and it seems to be working.

"Okay, well if you need me I'll be in my room." He quickly scurries into his room.

I just chuckle to myself and continue rubbing my belly. I wonder if there's any leftovers in the fridge?

Tuesday,

Same old same old. Get out of bed, get dressed, shave, grab a shake and head to the gym.

I feel so imposing at the gym now. I think I've gotten taller, because I look down on almost every now. I have a beard and a deeper voice than I used to, and not to mention the big gut and strong biceps. I'm like the biggest guy here, and people treat me like it. Women and men stare, and people tend to let me use the machines I want. I also notice myself grunting when I work out, I wonder if the entire gym can hear it. Anyway, the point is I feel amazing. This is the first day I dropped cardio because who fucking needs it, I sure don't. Now I focus purely on mass gain. I'm tired of holding back and I don't care what other people think, I want more.

I arrived at work, rocking far more confidence than I did yesterday, and people noticed. I don't care if they stare or comment, and I don't care that my dress shirt is already too small for me. People even asked me how I gained as much muscle as it did that fast. I just tell them to eat a shit ton and drink protein shakes, but maybe once the jig is up with Dean I'll ask him how to get the powder. I certainly wouldn't mind seeing some of the men at work blow up like I did. This is not the time to think about it though, it's getting hard to hide my boner at work. The only thing hiding it when I sit down is my gut.

I get home and notice Dean is home too. He must have stayed home, I wonder if it's because of the powder. He won't seem to leave his room though, so I'll have to wait until tomorrow to see the results.

I just decide to change into some comfortable clothes and eat my heart out. Though I'm shocked at how small my once 'baggy' clothes are. They barely fit past my stomach, and they ride up past my belly button when I lift my arms.

Fuck I'm getting fat. There is nothing hotter to me right now than the thought of my body growing. I make my way to the kitchen and grab a few more shakes and start chugging, feeling my dick harden with each gulp. I feel like a fucking pig, what has come over me. The shake is dribbling down my beard and onto my shirt, but I can't stop. Once I've had enough protein shakes for a lifetime, I stumble to my room and promptly fall asleep.

Wednesday,

I wake up in a pool of sweat, similar to a couple days ago. My mouth tastes awful and my body feels heavy. I question what happened last night as I roll myself out of bed. I drag myself to the bathroom and freeze in shock at my image in the mirror. Holy shit. I pull up my shirt to see a massive ball belly, covered in a thick layer of hair. I pull my shirt up further and see a pair of soft man tits that now lay on my gut. Every part of my body looks swollen, my arms, my hands, even my face looks puffy.

I let out a loud burp that reeks of protein shake, and suddenly I remember last. I walk to the kitchen and see six empty protein shakes on the table. I chuckle in a surprisingly deep voice before opening the fridge and grabbing a shake. I down it before getting ready to head to the gym. I put on my largest gym shirt and it only reaches halfway around my gut, I try to put on my shorts but I can't get them to cover the top of my ass crack. That's alright, I don't particularly care if anyone sees, it's their fault for looking.

I spend the day at the gym enjoying all the attention from shocked gym goers. They watch in amazement or contempt as this fatass walks around like he owns the gym.

I go to work with a similar energy, though I do have a dress shirt that still barely fits me so at least I'm not half naked going to work. My clothes still leave little to my coworkers imaginations, as I confidently strut my fatass around the office.

I get home and stand in shock as I walk through the door. Is that Dean!? Across the living room stands a morbidly obese man wearing nothing but boots, a baseball cap, and a ripped towel around his waist.

"You did this to me!" The man yells in a gruff southern accent.

"Dean, is that you?" I respond.

"Yea, you dumbass! You gave me some of that powder didn't ya." He turns to face me and reveals the damage the powder did to his body.

"Hey you did it to me first! I was only returning the favour."

"I only put I bit into your shakes, how much did'ya give me!? Look what it's done to me!" He grabs a handful of the fat on his belly, and it jiggles like jello.

"Well I didn't know how much to give you."

"And you're only s'posed to take it when you're workin out, otherwise it only grows fat and not muscle. Beside, why d'ya keep drinking it after you knew?" He asks

"Because I like me this way, it just felt good to get revenge. Why did you even do it in the first place?" I ask in return.

"Because I thought if you got fat you'd stop hooking up with so many guys, and you'd notice me. It was only s'posed to be a bit, but then you started drinkin the shakes like crazy and now look at ya." He responds in a genuine voice. I don't know what to say, so I stand silent. He grabs his phone and approaches me. "This is what I looked like 2 days ago!" He shows me a picture of himself. "I was so happy that I could finally grow a beard. Little did I know why."

"This is what I looked like yesterday." He shows me another photo. "My hair was falling out and my hairline was receding. I woke up looking like I was pregnant, and my pants couldn't fit anymore."

"I was so scared that I ate some of that powder, but I didn't know what to do, so I stayed in my room all day and drank nothing but orange juice. Then I woke up this morning as a bald 350 pound man. That's when I knew you put that powder in my orange juice." He seems frantic.

I didn't know what to do, so I grabbed him and kissed him. "I never realized how hot your accent is until now." I say as I pull away from the kiss, he smiles in return. In the moment, another terribly amazing idea comes to my head. I grab the bag of powder he had left on the table and pour some of the powder into his mouth before snorting some myself. He looks at me in shock for a moment before swallowing it. I smile before dragging his fatass to my tiny king sized bed.

Then next Monday,

I just hit 300 today. I still go to the gym everyday, so that keeps my gut from growing out of control. Though I have had some interesting conversations with my family since. But the shocked faces of my family when they see me and their concerned comments if my weight gain only fuels the fire. Though my dad seems to be the only one who says he likes the new me, says I look manlier. It's funny coming from the next fattest man in the family, only behind me of course.

The scale stopped working on Dean after last Thursday, but he has to be pushing 500. I really gave him an insane dose of that powder, and the more fat he got the less capable he was to workout and thus reduce the fat gained. He just sits around and pigs out all day now, and I wouldn't want him any other way. I usually bring home a few meals from a couple fast food restaurants for his first dinner, and when I feel up to it, I'll add a little bit of powder to his meal.

I'm also enjoying work far more. I told all the men at my work about the powder, and within a few days I was seeing results. Some became as fat as Dean by the end of the week, clearly they neglected the part where it said to workout while consuming the powder. Some look like me, with big arms and an even bigger belly. And some have just become muscle beasts, almost like they spent hours a day at the gym. I also feel more imposing at work, people respect me more, even if half of them are bigger than me now. It even helped me get a raise, which funds all of the fast food trips for Dean and I. One day I hope to be the big boss with a silver bushy beard and hulking gut that spills out of my suit.

[elfhunk]

hi! i just wanted to say that all of your stuff on exercise and having a good relationship with your body has been really nice to read on my dash.

i've been trying on and off for the last few years to get myself back into a consistent exercise routine that i enjoy (COVID happened, stuff in my life happened, etc.) and i think that both your perspectives + obvious love of the gym are really helpful as motivation.

if i can ask a question: do you have any advice on developing a consistent, realistic schedule and sticking to it? (of course, while still being okay if things come up and change what you can do.) for me, i think one of the reasons i fell out of my routine is that my work/social/life obligations have changed a lot in the past few years. so i've been struggling to figure out where to slot in time for exercise when it feels like there's always something else i could or "should" be doing.

also, thanks for all the fun warframe stuff! i haven't played in ages because of the aforementioned obligation time crunch, but it's also really cool to see what you're doing in the game. my playstyle and preferred warframes were pretty opposite to yours, so i really had no clue that you could do a lot of the things you've shown off.

thank you! i'm glad it's having the desired impression on the other side. i used to think posting about it or deigning to enjoy brief moments of self-indulgent flexing was gauche when i've only put in the bare minimum of effort since i started lifting in 2020... but... uh...

when we only see images of people who have been kissed by perfectly specialized genetics and have dedicated a huge amount of their time, money and resources to it and have these immaculate perfectly proportioned bodies?

that only makes the body dysmorphia madness worse for all of us? especially when so many of those images aren't given context... or disclosing who is and isn't using certain drugs. 🫠

anyway, my handy tool in all of this is a thing i picked up as a habit from sexologist and all around wonderful woman dr. lindsey doe a long, long time ago:

a want, will, won't list.

although in this instance of teaching it was being used to discuss sexual activity, it's how i end up thinking about basically any major decision or lifestyle change.

time just is not infinite! you cannot do it all! there is going to be compromise!

these kinds of tools are a great way to help your brain organize your conflicting thoughts and set boundaries for yourself.

so, i don't know your brain or what accommodations you need, but i hope this framework might help you start figuring it out?

how many hours, total, do you want to spend a week?

how much time on strength training?

how much time on cardio?

how many individual days a week?

what are you willing to change about your existing schedule?

what won't you change under any circumstances?

would you be willing to buy some home equipment?

pay for a different gym that's closer by?

would you want to take a class or pay for a trainer?

do you have friends who would want to pursue this with you?

there's a ton of resources published by actual personal trainers on how to structure a full body workout into a given week for people with every possible permutation of schedule availability if you look for them.

as mentioned before, i've actually been having a horrible time at the gym this year. my appetite is shot, my energy is gone, and i've just been unable to prioritize it. part of my own journey with this has been acknowledging where there's necessary compromise. i've had to spend more time working on my brain than my body this year, and that's okay.

i can show myself kindness while still trying to problem solve. i can make cooking meals easier, i can budget for more accessible options, i can go maybe 2-3 days a week instead of 3-4 like i used to.

to facilitate this, i've also been trying to focus even more on the immediate benefits of this work.

focusing on minor aesthetic differences you won't see payoff for months or years just isn't particularly motivating?

but when i've had a long day and i just desperately need an hour or two to focus on something physically demanding that requires my full attention? where i get to walk away feeling physically exhilarated and accomplished, even if i was no where near my PR?

that's self care, baby! we all understand how important that is!

your body is truly just too stupid to care about the long term goals. it will just feel really good, and much better than it did an hour before even if the actual performance of that session was mediocre.

apologies for another full essay a response!

again, i truly just don't know your life or your circumstances, so i can only provide broad strokes... but i hope this at least gives some scaffolding to begin tackling the issue with some kindness to yourself as you re-calibrate.

[miekasa]

M-mie could we get some athlete boyfriend eren hcs too if you don’t mind, please and thank you😩

He is: my boyfriend, and I love him dearly. Perfect amount of himbo and athlete without being a jock, everybody give it up for Eren for being my dream boy <3

Eren plays sports year round, with the exception of maybe one or two winter seasons, just because his school/work/home life was too busy for athletics at those times. Otherwise, he’s always go something to practice for: soccer in the fall, hockey in the winter, and his choice of baseball or basketball in the spring.

He’s not a varsity athlete; that is, he’s not “committed” to any one team, so he’s not tied to playing one sport every year, nor are his academics linked to his athletics, or vice versa. He’s just a pretty athletic guy, and he’s got a lot of energy, and he enjoys sports, so naturally he plays whenever he can.

As it turns out, it does help him with his academics. Knowing he’s got practice the majority of the week forces Eren into building a schedule that prioritizes both schoolwork and sports so he can enjoy them equally. It teaches him to be independent in a way that he wasn’t expecting, but he’s come to really love.

And because he loves it, he doesn’t mind working hard for it. Liking the way he’s set it up for himself encourages him to do his best in both areas. It’s really just good for him all around: a good outlet fo his energy, a good way to spend his time, a good way to keep his grades in check, and a good way to keep himself comfortably happy and busy.

His appetite is insatiable, so it’s only dramatized when playing sports. He takes the all you can eat in all you can eat sushi a little too seriously.

The thing is… he’s a shit cook, too, so it’s not like he’s meal prepping to make sure he’s satisfying his appetite. He just buys a shit ton of food whenever he’s hungry. He’s always asking you if you wanna grab food, and part of it is to ensure that you’re eating—not as much as him, but eating nonetheless—but part of it is that he just likes sharing meals with someone.

He also doesn’t like to eat alone, so even if you only have your ten California rolls to his forty six spicy tuna rolls, that’s fine; he just wants the company.

That’s also why even if you say you’re not hungry, he’ll drag you out to eat with him anyway. And you’ll probably get fed some of his food even if you don’t order anything and insist that you’re not hungry because, “It’s really good, baby, just try it—just one bite, it’s okay I’ve got plenty left!”

He usually keeps a few granola bars and chips and other snacks of his liking on him. But because of Eren’s nature, he keeps them on you, too: in your car, in your backpack, in your apartment/dorm. You’ll meet him after class and he’ll kinda just start walking behind you, and you realize he’s opening your backpack, and you don’t even have time to question him before he’s pulling a bar out of the smallest pocket with a smile and munching on it.

Sometimes you come home and see his little protein shakes in your fridge. You definitely didn’t put them there, but you don’t move them, either. When you stock up on more when they’re running low, Eren contemplates marrying you.

If it’s been a hard week of practice or school, he tends to get sleepy when studying (usually when studying for his least favorite class, no coincidence there). He’ll close his laptop, put his hood up, and scooch his chair closer to yours before leaning his head on your shoulder.

He gets increasingly clingier the longer he naps; hand wrapping around your waist, nose poking at your neck. He’s not so subtly trying to hint that he wants you to quit studying and take him home to cuddle instead. If you don’t get the message, expect him to shut your laptop for you.

When you protest, Eren just looks at you with pouty lips and tired eyes, “Chemistry sucks anyway. Wanna nap, and also wanted you to do that thing with your hands when you massage my back for me.” (He then promptly falls asleep mid-massage on your bed).

He’s actually got a waiver to see a physical massage therapist because of how frequently he’s exercising. On occasion, he goes, but he claims he likes your massages much better. Also because he’s hesitant about a stranger touching him and once he moaned when the guy was working on his back and Eren swears it was one of the most embarrassing moments of his life.

He doesn’t get upset if you can’t make it to every game, but he does like it when you show up. Gets all cheesy and cocky with his arm around your shoulder, going on about how, “You’re my good luck charm, baby. I play better when you’re watching, you know?”

He has so much team clothing, from sweats to hoodies to t-shirts to socks. All he asks is that you wear something on game days, even if you can’t be there to support him while he’s playing. And that you keep one or two things for yourself anyway. He’ll put them in your closet for your if you don’t take them yourself <2

Because seeing you in his hoodie is always great, but his team hoodies are extra special, because they’ve got his name and his number on them. Whenever you’re wearing one, he trails just a half step behind you so he can see JAEGER printed on your back while you walk. Something about you wearing his last name around is… enticing, to say the least.

Even if it’s not the clothes branded with his name, Eren’s got a thing for you in sweats and/or workout clothes, so he’ll toss them at you whenever you sleep over. He’s always handsy, even if you’re just wearing an Under Armour shirt with the school’s logo on it; the material of it, and knowing that it’s his just makes him want to keep his hands on you.

Truthfully, he doesn’t workout all that much outside of practice. Occasionally, he’ll go to the gym with some of his teammates if they need a buddy, or go himself to stretch or take one of the free classes, but he doesn’t have a strict schedule for it. If you go to the gym, he’ll follow you if you ask, tho.

Turns out something that he does like is yoga. He’s not particularly flexible lmfao, but the stretching helps with muscle pain and tension, and he kinda finds the whole atmosphere of it relaxing. He’s still not so great at the meditation part of it, but he’s getting there.

(Actually, it’s pretty cute because on Tuesday and Thursdays, the yoga classes at the gym on campus are open-level and beginner friendly. That’s when the majority of the athletes show up, and you see people like Eren, Jean and Connie holding tree pose in the back room).

This, of course, makes him think that couples yoga is a great idea. Let’s just say, you’re lucky that Eren is strong enough to catch you and has sharp reflexes, because he’s certainly not the most balanced partner for this activity.

Game days are fun for him, and usually even if his team loses, he’s still so pumped up on adrenaline that he’s pretty happy. He only gets moody if he thinks the other team is playing dirty, or the refs are unfair, or he’s just been in a bad mood because of something that happened in his personal life; sports are an outlet for him, not his drive in life, so losing a game doesn’t take a huge toll on him.

Usually, even if he is upset about something personal, he’s able to funnel it into his game play. Small things used to make his whole sportsmanship sour, but overtime, he’s really gotten better at using his energy to fuel the right things. However, one thing that makes him foul (emotionally and literally; as in he might foul out of a game), is if he’s been fighting with you.

Sometimes it works in his favor—using the game as outlet, like usual—but it goes south pretty quickly. Because instead of using his aggression in a productive way, he gets distracted and easily pissed off, and it’s no good for anybody, especially himself. Because if he fouls out, or the coach takes him out for doing too much, then he can’t play; and if he can’t play then all that pent up frustration has no where to go; and then he’s forced to just sit with himself and his thoughts, but usually he starts deflecting and telling everyone else to piss off. Truly a no good, very bad box he’s put himself in.

You guys don’t fight that often, and it’s rare that it drags out for an extended amount of time when you do; but as with any relationship, it can happen. And when it does happen, if Armin doesn’t get to you first, expect one of Eren’s teammates to come groveling at your feet.

Or, rather, two. Because when you and Eren were fighting for over two weeks about god knows what at this point, it was Connie and Jean who ambushed you in the library. Jean had some pride to keep, but Connie was practically begging you to make up with Eren: “Look, I know he’s probably the one who said or did something to piss you off, and I’m not saying you gotta forgive him, but please just talk to him. I can’t run anymore extra laps because of him, and it’s gonna be so embarrassing if we lose to a C-list team on Friday because Eren’s funking up everyone’s attitude. PLEASE!”

Jean is more interested in the tea between you guys, but he also wants Eren to go back to being his normal hotheaded self, and not his current moody self. “He’s been playing like a bitch baby all week, and I’m gonna knock his skull in if he doesn’t fucking get his act together,” Jean rolls his eyes, “So just show up on Friday, alright? Do it for me and Connie, at least.”

When Eren does see you in the crowd at the game, it’s not a Troy and Gabriella moment, but when he sees you he feels so much relief that he’s physically calmer and way more mentally relaxed—because at this point Eren wasn’t even mad, he was just scared you might break up with him, and that fear brought out the worst in him. Seeing you in the stands, even if you didn’t wanna speak to him, was reassurance that you still gave a damn about him, and that was motivation enough.

He rushes to you after the game, wanting to make sure you don’t get swept away or leave with your friends. He’s smiling and so happy to finally see you that he almost forgets that you’re mad with him; hugging you and grinning ear to ear. When the reality kicks in, he kinda steps back at bit and rubs at his neck, embarrassed, but at least he knows he still has a chance to make things right with you.

(When you do make up, you’re surprised to find flowers and $10 coupon for your favorite pizza place in your mailbox a few days later. They’re from Connie, and his poorly handwritten note thanks you for “saving the team” and “curbing Eren’s temper).

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

best laid plans, m | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: It’s the middle of the night. You’re asleep next to your model boyfriend, Jeon Jungkook, who is jacking off while touching your tits. Wait. Hold on a second. What? (He is still your model boyfriend though, even after all that.)

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; established relationship; playful banter and shitty jokes; actually low-key crack and fluff; smut (fem reader, m-masturbation, handjob (while sucking on JK’s balls, lucky guy), tiny bit of nipple play and pussy slapping, edging, cowgirl, penetrative sex); non-idol!BTS; the parenthesis are the reader’s inner thoughts and i did make a Dynamite lyric reference with JK’s dick and you can’t stop me

yes, the title is a pun, channeling my inner seokjinnie it’s what you think it is and it’s also not

–

Your dreams were always vivid and intense. 

Was it normal to have movie-level, hyperdetailed, sometimes not even involving you or anyone you knew (at least consciously), insane storyline dreams on a constant basis (without medication causing them)? You know, maybe not. You should get that checked out. But not today, because this is not the story about that (you really should get that checked out).

This is the story about you dreaming about your boyfriend jacking off next to asleep you and then realizing it was not a dream. 

At first you were like, man, that sure sounds like Jeon Jungkook breathing hard. Was he working out? Why are you having dreams about Jungkook working out? That's literally the most pointless, mundane dream you could ever have. Also, you weren't seeing anything, just blackness. What was the damn point of this dream you couldn't even look at him?

(To be honest, that’s very rude of you, brain.)

Jungkook always asked you to work out at home with him but, one, he was annoying as fuck to work out with because all he did was stare at you ("oh yeah, my bad for thinking you're sexy, holy shit, what a crime to think my girlfriend and future wife is hot!"); two, you literally had zero motivation to work out (not lazy, just, you know, didn't give a shit and Jungkook called that your great flaw of being his perfect girlfriend – but he loved all your soft bits so he was sending you mixed messages, tsk tsk); and finally, three, it always led up to fucking, so why go through all that trouble hyping yourself up in your leggings and sports bra, only to spend five minutes in them and forty-five doing a whole different kind of workout that didn't require clothes?

Exactly. 

Just skip that shit and get to the naked part. 

Oh, right, back to the whole deep-breathing Jungkook and you seeing darkness thing. 

Sometimes you had dreams with only sound and very little visual. It was disorienting, giving you the feeling of being trapped in a maze with no way out (dream analysts would be all over that shit) and once the images returned, you were usually naked (psychologists would have a field day with that). But this time, you were unmoving. Listening to tense inhale, drawn-out exhale, over and over, and you only recognized it as Jungkook because he did that thing where he sucked on his teeth a little, making that almost inaudible hiss noise. 

You felt heavy, tired, sluggish, as if you were dragging yourself through mud, in between the brink of conscious and subconscious, in that brief moment where you could control the dream but not your body, that little pocket of utopia. You searched for Jungkook in the darkness, curious to find him, and you couldn't, but he seemed to be beside you, to your right, where he usually was when you slept. Next to you, sometimes snoring so you'd have to smack him in the chest and he'd snort and stop (for a hot second, then you'd roll him to his side so at least he wouldn't be snoring in your ear). His pectoral muscles were bigger lately (you hated working out but you sure as hell didn't hate Jungkook working out) and the slapping sound was pretty satisfying now, palm to hard muscle. 

Kind of like the sound right now. 

Wait. 

You weren't slapping Jungkook's pecs.

You furrowed your brows. Huh? Why were you hearing that soft smacking sound over and over, Jungkook's low hiss and then your name in a deep hazy whisper and why was your front cold? You usually slept with only panties, no bra, but you weren't usually cold up top – that's what the linen duvet was for (you paid way too much for that, but you saw it on Instagram and, hey, it's your money, go off) and, to be honest, you used to be a cute pajamas person but, ever since you started living with Jungkook, he wanted you to wear as much as he did when he slept (read: literally only his boxer briefs). Lots of begging (and him being on his knees for you) later, and now it was your habit to strip before sleeping.

Anyway, back to being cold. 

You scrunched up your face and listened to the labored breathing in your right, a hand drifting on your stomach, tracing your bellybutton, moving up, light, delicate touches, the sound of skin on skin. A gentle fingertip brushed your nipple. 

You cracked your eyes open.

There was a tiny bit of light from your computer, the RGB keyboard casting a faint rainbow. You shifted your eyes to your right.

Jungkook's left arm was in an awkward position, softly caressing your nipple as he violently pumped his dick. 

On the bed. 

Underwear gone.

On the floor? Probably. 

He looked pretty damn hard. (Nice.) 

Your eyes floated to his face and his eyes were closed, mouth open, trying not to make any noise, gasping your name. Shapely jaw, soft cheeks, dark lashes, ash blond hair framing his handsome features, so beautiful it was unreal. His head turned towards you and his dark brown eyes slowly opened, purring your name lovingly. 

"Yeah, Jungkook?"

You saw the single blissful second it took for Jungkook's brain to catch up. 

Then he choked.

On air and his dick by squeezing it far too hard in complete and utter shock. 

"HOLY FUCK!"

He yanked his hand back, off your chest (feels bad man) and released his cock, causing it to bounce a little in the air (kind of sexy, not gonna lie), both of them shooting up to cover his rapidly reddening cheeks, one tattooed, one not, his inked right arm tense and his hand glistening with points of pre-cum.

You blinked innocently at him. 

"Oh, shit, fuck, I'm so sorry, um, l–listen," he sputtered, dick still sticking straight up, completely oblivious to Jungkook's embarrassment (ignorance is bliss). "I... I have a good reason, I s-swear."

You rolled onto your side and squished your tits together. Jungkook's brain seemed to implode a little, staring at your squashed breasts and hard nipples like it was the first time (even though you knew he literally sees them at least once a day).

"You're horny?" 

Your voice cracked a little from sleep and you coughed to clear your throat (not sexy, but such is life). 

Jungkook's shaking pupils were too busy staring at your titties. "Y-Yeah, I just woke up randomly horny as fuck, but I know how much you hate having your sleep disturbed so I was just going to edge myself a little... well, maybe finish…"

"You masturbating while touching my tits is not going to disturb me?"

"I... I've done it before..."

???????

???????

"Uh..."

"I don't touch you very much!" Jungkook blurted, grabbing your hands. "P-Please don't be mad! I only touch you a little and always very carefully! I never try to take advantage, I'm just horny, please, please, please don't be mad!"

He grabbed you by the shoulders and hugged you tightly. You grimaced, not because of the hug (Jungkook’s hugs were top tier), but because his hard dick jammed right into your thigh and smeared a giant line of pre-cum onto your skin (a little cold and not nearly as sexy as internet smut stories make it out to be, but maybe that was because you literally woke up to Jungkook jacking off without giving you so much as an invitation, rude). You gasped and retreated a little, but that made Jungkook try to grab you tighter and his cock bent upwards and jabbed you in the lower belly. 

Still leaking everywhere, by the way. 

"Oh shit–"

"Look here Excalibur, I'm not the stone waiting for the king," you winced, swiping your hand across your skin and wiping it on the side of his ass (hey, it's free real estate). Jungkook yelped, letting go of you. 

"Hey!"

"If you're horny, let's fuck, not joust. I don't have the proper equipment for that and I'm not an undercover Lancelot, as dope as that would be."

"I should be turned off by now," Jungkook muttered under his breath (probably cursing your poorly timed King Arthur jokes – you did have a tendency to wear your mind on your sleeve). "But I'm not because, fuck, look at this body..."

His hands were already running all over your skin and, if there was one thing Jungkook had an extra zest for, it was fucking you – all the time, twenty-four seven, rest in peace responsibilities if you ever decided to become a nudist, but thankfully you had self-control (not when it came to terrible jokes at inappropriate times though, that was your vice). However, sleepy you had less self-control and let him do whatever he wanted, running his fingers all over your chest, making you shiver and slide closer to him, rubbing your thigh against his length and he sucked in a breath, whispering your name hotly against your cheek.

"S-Stop, I'm going to get horny..."

"You're already horny," you hummed into his chin, running your fingers through his blond hair, closing your eyes again, listening to his soft moan against your cheek (he always sounded so good, so fucking sexy, it was sinful), your left hand sliding down between you both. his palms pressed into your breasts, squeezing them roughly as you cupped your hand around his length and balls (Jungkook was really warm and your hands were kind of cold, this turned out to be a win-win situation, sweet). You wound your fingers around his length with two fingers hooked around his balls, bouncing them lightly as you rubbed his velvety skin, sighing against his neck.

"Pog."

"Do not Twitch chat talk to my dick," Jungkook muttered. "Also, what kind of weak-ass handjob is this, are you just warming your cold-as-fuck fingers–" (well, shit) "–oh, fuck!"

You gripped his cock with your left hand and buried your fingers in his hair, tongue between your lips as you roughly stroked his length, making Jungkook squirm and gasp above you, jerking back. You kept your hold on him, tighter, feeling him swell and get harder, grinning, your eyes still closed, working him fast and firm.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Jungkook swore repeatedly, pinching your nipples and rolling them between his fingers (damn, he was making you work to keep this smirk on your face, but it was worth), tendrils of pleasure snaking through you. You bit the side of your lip, increasing your pace, squeezing just under the head the way he liked, pre-cum pooling around the pocket of your index finger and thumb, adding lubrication.

"Stop, s-stop, I'm gonna e-explode," Jungkook moaned, planting his hands onto your tits and sinking his fingers in the softness once more (hello? where's the titty love, this ain't all about you, Jungkook). 

"I like dynamite," was you answer, cracking one eye open. "Light it up." 

Jungkook growled in his throat, glaring at you. "I swear to God, if you weren't so fucking hot, I'd be so fucking limp right no–aah, d-don't, oh fuuuck, please..."

You slid down the bed, switching hands, attaching your mouth to his balls (he was probably grateful for that, can't talk with a mouthful of nuts, sad) and put your breasts on his thigh, rubbing your nipples all over his hard muscle as you sucked, starting off slow, then faster and faster, one to the other, tongue all over, Jungkook loudly rambling nonsense above you (you weren't paying attention, you had a dick to jack off and some balls to rearrange with your masterful tongue) until Jungkook squealed at your firm grip on the head, cutting off his orgasm once again.

"Stop edging me," he hissed angrily above you.

You blew a raspberry on his nuts.

"A-ah, fuuuuuuuuck!"

Oh, that turned out to be more pleasurable than either you or Jungkook imagined, because his eyes were gigantic and his hips were furiously humping your hand, but you weren't holding him tight enough for him to cum. You raised your eyebrows at him and Jungkook gave you the most displeased expression he could muster (he looked cute as fuck, a complete fail), ash blond strands clinging to his forehead, nose scrunched up.

"That was for jacking off without me," you tutted.

"You would have gotten pissed if I woke you up to fuck," he pouted.

"I need beauty sleep to be beautiful."

"I hear facials actually help quite a lot."

You burst out laughing and Jungkook followed suit, his rich, full, almost wheezing laugh, until he realized you had swiped a condom from the nightstand (yup, they were casually in a little moon-shaped dish by the bed next to the chap stick and phone charger, says a lot about you two), fitted it on him, and then you sat on his dick.

"W-Wait – oooooooh, fuck!"

You waited a second for your body to adjust, forcefully stretched out by his thick girth, but it wasn't that bad when you were controlling your muscles and expecting it, so you started rocking your hips after the second, sighing in satisfaction. Jungkook's eyes rolled back into his head, his long fingers bunching up on his chest, raising his ass to get deeper with every slap of hips to hips, your body talking to his, heat rising through you, branching out your spine and to your limbs, the best kind of workout (your only workout, be honest here), clenching your core, making Jungkook snap his head back in panic, shaking his head furiously.

"I'm g-gonna cum if you keep going l-like that..."

You leaned down, brushing his hands away and spreading your fingers over his pecs, running your nails over his hard nipples. Jungkook whimpered, chewing on his lip, you turning the tempo from a fast one to a longer, slower, more complete stroke from head to base, soft ass smacking his soft balls. He looked up at you, moaning softly, pupils blown wide, rainbow shadows over his face (damn, he's pretty, eleven out of ten, for sure), gasping your name, his hands finding your forearms and caressing them, eyelashes fluttering.

"O-oh, fuck, p-please... faster... wanna cum... you're so fucking sexy... ah, fuck, wanna cum for you..."

No one could say no to that, especially not you.

You slid your arms down to the bed, right beside his head, and increased the force, intensifying it all, Jungkook's fingers flying up and holding onto your nipples, the sheer wildness of your own pace tugging and pulling on them, your breathing deepening, panting hard, wispy and hot, his name on your lips, pleasure all over, passionately fucking him into the bed, and him jutting his hips back into your soaked walls, throbbing against the tightness, so hot, fire coursing through you, your juices soaking his crotch and balls.

“Jungkook, oh, fuck, yes...”

You squeezed him hard and Jungkook thrust into you with a groan, all hardness and thickness violently burying itself into your overwhelming heat and you moaned lustfully, pussy shuddering around his wonderful cock, feeling it shiver repeatedly, his orgasm filling up the condom so much that you felt the latex stretch inside you, jarring jerks with each of Jungkook's soft cries, his head shoved into the pillows, blond hair fanning out like a halo and practically wearing out your name with how many times he was chanting it.

You reached and held down the condom as you unsheathed (the beast), collapsing against the bed and laying down, wheezing a little, greatly satisfied at your work.

"Boom."

You weakly reached up and mimed a firework with one hand.

"Like dynamite."

"Oh, my fucking God," Jungkook muttered, peeling off the condom and immediately snatching the towel next to the bed (also says a lot about you two) and another condom, yanking off the other one (trash can next to the bed already, again says – never mind, you get it) and cleaning himself off before putting on the new one. "On your back."

You rolled on your back, snickering. "Three parts dynamite, with a nitroglycerin cap–"

Jungkook clapped a hand on your mouth and it smelled a whole lot like his cum. "This is not the time to be quoting the Addams Family, you animal."

You nuzzled out of it, grinning. "I'm just saying I want an orgasm equivalent to blowing up a small house."

"Oh, you'll get it," Jungkook growled, yanking your hips to the center of the bed, pushing your legs up to your chest, almost bending you in half. "You ready?"

You bit your lip, still grinning. "Of course."

One hand left your leg and you were confused for a split second.

The next you were gasping, Jungkook rapidly smacking his hand into your clit and pussy, not hard, but constant, swift smacks that got you wetter and wetter, quivering and struggling for breath.

"J-Jungkook, oh f-fuck, Jungkook..." you whined, fingers digging into the sheets, twisting them, bouncing your hips towards him. He inhaled sharply, fitting his finger onto your clit and raising himself.

"W-wait – oh fuck!"

Jungkook chuckled and thrust into your wet warmth, rubbing your clit at the same time. Your body squirmed, trying to alleviate the sudden high rush of pleasure, but Jungkook was stronger (was this the reason he worked out? no complaints here), his free hand pressing your leg down into your chest, your other leg crammed against his shoulder, his hand snaking in between and stimulating your clit, not having to move because you were moaning helplessly, rutting against him repeatedly, pulsating all around him, so good, so good, throbs of desire against his callused fingertip, eyes rolling back. Hard cock, engorged clit worked into a frenzy, your own hips fucking him back so hard that Jungkook was moaning with you, your name tumbling out from those pink lips.

"Cum for me, fuck, you sound and look so sexy, come on, come on..."

You would have praise for him too if you could breathe, but you couldn't, pleasure so overwhelming that your eyes closed, getting there, getting so close, and Jungkook he kept going until you wailed his name, back arcing, your tits hitting your thighs, forearms taut and straining, lower body lurching towards him and leaking out slick juices all over his crotch and yours, so much so that his finger slipped and his nail nicked your clit, turning your moan into a howl of ecstasy.

"Oh, shit, are you ok–"

You grabbed his hips, ignoring whatever the fuck he was saying, and slammed him down into your pussy, making Jungkook lose his balance and put his hands on the bed, yelping, and you hissing in his face, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, please, Jungkook, give me your cock, and Jungkook was saying something but your body gave no fucks, ears mysteriously broken at that specific moment, raising your hips to meet his as he sank down, Jungkook's face scrunching up and his pleas finally reaching your ears.

"H-Hold on, I want to last, stop, stop, stop..."

"Who cares about that, I need dick," was your very impatient response, but Jungkook grabbed your thighs and pinned you down, stopping you and him from moving, you whining and clenching around him.

"This is not p–"

Jungkook immediately fitted his hand over your mouth, narrowing his eyes at you. "No. Bad. Shush."

(How did he know you were going to say 'this is not poggers'?)

You wiggled your ass and Jungkook growled, pulling out and slamming back in, not fast, but powerful, cock getting harder and harder with your whines and cries behind his palm.

"This is what you need," he panted, deep and gravelly, one hand on the bed and one on your mouth, fucking you so hard that your ass was bouncing on the bed, creating a wet spot on the sheets with how drenched you were for Jungkook's lust-filled, husky voice. "Need me to fuck you silent, fuck, you're so tight and wet, come on, cum for me, cum for me, you sexy, sexy woman..."

Your body was already complying, pleasure wrapping all around, body so hot from the fire within, tongue pressed against his palm, moaning lewdly around his fingers as you came again, and he was so hard, fuck, Jungkook was so fucking hard right after he woke up, always, (a fucking mystery and eighth wonder of the world and your pussy was thoroughly investigating), so deep and so thick, your muscles clutching him tight, sucking him back in. His fingers separated a little, loosening his grip, and you heard your needy whimper mildly muffled by his digits.

"You're so good Jungkook, I love you, fuck, I love your cock, Jungkook..."

You looked up into his eyes, at his long hair hanging around his face, jaw clenched, smirking as he saw your gaze, biting the side of his lips in concentration.

"I love you too," he breathed. "You're the sexiest, most beautiful woman in the world."

You clamped around him and Jungkook groaned, eyelids fluttering, grunting as he forcefully thrust into you, your name mixed with a moan as he came again, fully sheathing himself in your quivering, abused heat, warm pulses soothing him and you all over. The sheets stuck to your ass, covered in your sweet-smelling cum.

(Good thing that was on his side of the bed.)

His hand glided up your face, pushing back your hair, shuddering as he rutted into your core a few more times, savoring your tightness.

"You alright, my dude?" you whispered nonchalantly, gasping slightly.

Jungkook cracked one eye open. "Yeah, I'm fucking fantastic, bro."

"Pog-"

Jungkook shoved two fingers into your mouth and you choked a little, pouting around his fingers (you weren't surprised though, you knew it was coming).

"I will whip this dick out and slap you in the face with it."

"That's kinda nasty, but also sounds kinda hot," you gargled around his fingers.

"... You're right. Damn, he's asleep. Shit."

Jungkook pulled his fingers out and wiped them on the towel, frowning as he glanced down.

"Only him and not us, something seems a little inverted here."

Jungkook chuckled and leaned down to kiss you (another reason why he was the perfect partner, still being affectionate, regardless of your loony antics).

"I love you."

-

in which you anger jjk by being annoying - wait, that’s every day well, he still wants to bang you counter point

--

masterpost

[sylvie-writes]

Fighting For You

word count: 1530

request: Hi! Hello! Hey! I saw part of your conversation with the girl that is dating a cop and I was wondering if she’s okay with it of course, if you could use the “I’m fighting to come home to you” thing in a Steve x Reader thing?

a/n: this is part 1 of (undetermined) of me trying to finish requests that have been sent in ages ago. IM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT AND THE QUALITY. it’s been hard to write but hopefully these will do. this was originally at 100 words, so i added some random subplot to bring up the count and I tried to make it relevant to the story. anyways, this isn’t proofread much so please excuse any mistakes.

It had been weeks of radio silence that often left your mind pacing while you tried to go through the day. Everything was gonna be fine.

Those five words became a mantra for the time being since Steve left and while he had warned you that no communication was a possibility on this mission, you still couldn’t help but feel anxious that something had gone wrong. Steve was never one to give up. 

It was a solo mission meaning Natasha, who you trusted to babysit Steve, was currently not with him. Instead she was playing babysitter for you and had now lured you into a personal “mission” at the orphanage. The redhead had recently divulged the secret that every Thursday afternoon when she disappeared for hours on end that she wasn’t out for a workout regime, but instead visiting the angels who so badly needed some adoration.

That night Steve left for his mission, Natasha had taken you out to dinner and a few drinks led to cries of sorrow and laughter. Tears pricked at her eyes and your own, when Natasha revealed that she didn’t want these kids to have an experience such as her years as an orphan. Somehow your conversation of the awful nachos on the bar counter had transferred into what your friend did when she disappeared midweek. When the words spilled from her mouth and she immediately apologized for oversharing, you were quick to reassure her with a fast and unexpected hug that almost knocked over the unsuspecting coffee mugs that had been sitting between you both. The mugs were empty from trying to sober you both up but they seemed to be doing nothing but getting in the way. Natasha never really opened up to you about her past despite almost knowing her longer than Steve, so this little exchange was a milestone in your friendship. 

Since that crazy dinner, you have been spending your Thursdays with the kids and Nat, putting on a fake smile that would turn genuine just at the sight of the children getting excited to see you. It took your mind off Steve, albeit for a few hours, but that was better than none. The kids always seemed to know what to say to cheer you up and you did the same for them. 

Last visit, you and Nat were given the privilege of speaking with the teens and this week you were given the opportunity to visit the little ones. More specifically, it was arts and crafts day and only seconds after walking in the door were you elbow deep in macaroni noodles and colorful string. 

About ten kids clobbered to sit around Nat as she demonstrated the making of macaroni noodles when you noticed a young girl in the corner and a social worker crouched on the ground with her, a lollipop in hand to coax the child. You could see the fear in the young girl's eyes as she clutched the tattered blanket to her chest. Those sweet brown eyes were so sparkly you were sure you would’ve remembered her which drew you to the conclusion that she was new. 

You directed two other children to Nat who was currently playing art teacher as you slowly approached the scene in the corner. The social worker looked up at you with a hopeful smile and held out his arms as if saying “all yours.” He handed you the lollipop and quickly explained that she was new before dashing off to help another worker. 

“Hey girly, what’s your name?”

You opted to sit criss cross on the floor, showing the girl that you planned on staying. She didn’t speak but instead turned to the wall. Silence filled the corner and you decided to speak up once more. 

“My name is (y/n), and I come here with my friend Nat. Today we were invited to make macaroni necklaces with you! Do you like crafts?” 

Some progress was made when you said Nat’s name and pointed her out to the child who had now turned to see what you were talking about. She softly shook her head when asked about arts and crafts and you gave a soft smile. Her hand quickly reached up to brush back a strand of short, black hair and you noticed the bracelet on her hand. It was a simple multi colored beaded bracelet that spelt out “VERA✿”

You reached out to grab her wrist and she complied, placing his arm in your hand. 

“Wow, this is so pretty! Did you make this, Vera?” She nodded her head and quietly began to speak. At this you internally jumped around with joy at such progress. 

“I like to make bracelets. My mommy used to make them with me, but then she left. Now I’m all alone.”

Her happy tone had turned dismal and a few tears crawled out of her eyes. Words never seemed to mean much to you, but her story made you choke back a sob. It seemed that the young girl hadn’t intended to spill the information, but she did, and now she was vulnerable. 

“Oh Vera, I understand it’s no fun to be alone,” You squeezed her hand lovingly and offered a comforting smile, “My friend, Steve, he had to leave a few weeks ago and I feel lonely, just like you, but you know what?”

She cocked her head at your question.

“I have other friends who take care of me and don’t make me feel lonely. So Vera, why don’t we go out and make necklaces. We can go make some friends who will always be for you, hon!”

She was apprehensive to agree but slowly stood and dragged behind you. Nat saw you come over and waved you and Vera to come join the little boy beside her who looked in need of a friend.

-

Macaroni necklaces were a success and so was getting Vera to socialize. She made friends with the little boy, Liam, and the two were the chattiest out of the whole bunch. In fact, they both talked so much they tuckered themselves out that you and Nat brought them back to their sleeping quarters with the rest of the children. Natasha stood in the hallway as Vera led you to her cot and proudly showed off her teddy bear that sat in the middle. From a distance Nat could see Vera placing her macaroni necklace around your neck as you crouched down. Vera stood back and proudly eyed her creation before giving you a tight hug.

“Don’t worry, your friend will come back.” This statement caused you to be taken aback and luckily Vera was too busy climbing into bed to notice your shocked expression.  “You told me you will come back and you are my friend, so I think he will too.”  Vera continued as she pulled her teddy bear close and you covered her scrawny shoulders with the same fleece blanket that was once used as a makeshift shield. Walking out the darkened room, Vera’s words left you wondering if Steve would ever really come back. 

-

As you and Nat drove home, all thoughts of Steve had momentarily dissipated leaving you with a second of bliss. 

Not even a moment after your laughter ceased at Nat’s story of Liam trying to eat raw noodles, the ringer designated for Steve rang and your shaky hand voluntarily went to answer.

“Steve?”

“Hey, love,” Steve’s voice came out in a hushed whisper but a rough chuckle tumbled out with it, “You sound surprised to be hearing from me?”

“I thought something had happened to you. I-”

You were at a loss of words and Steve seemed to know this. 

“(y/n), I’m fighting to come home for you. Never doubt that.”

His words seemed so sweet yet cringe so you could help but make a joke, “Wow, I didn’t know you were a motivational speaker on the side.”

Steve’s familiar laugh came through the receiver, “See, that is another reason I want to come home, so I can listen to your terrible jokes!”

Playfully offended you added, “Hey! They aren’t as bad as yours. I mean dad jokes, c’mon you can do better than that Rogers.”

“Yeah, yeah. We can settle this debate when I see you tonight.” You could practically hear the smirk in Steve’s voice because he knew darn well that he had just shocked you with this revelation of information. Your silence confirmed this for Captain and he proudly continued on.

“Well, I gotta finish cleaning up here, so I’ll see you for dinner, doll. Love you!”

All you could do was return the affection before hanging up and allowing the enormous smile to finally take over your face as it had been waiting to do so for so long. 

“So, what should I wear?” Natasha took her eyes off the road and looked at you with a cheesy grin of her own. For a majority of the ride home, the two of you babbled about Steve like middle school girls on a first date.

Steve never failed to keep a promise to you and he wasn’t planning to do so now.

[urslasherbaby]

Michael Myers NSFW Alphabet

(Obvious NSFW warnings: smut, blood kink, choking, cock warming, etc.)

Do we really need yet another Mikey NSFW alphabet? Yes, yes we do.

(Also I am sorry for not posting, I kept second-guessing myself)

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

After the assuredly rigorous workout he just put you through, he usually leaves you to recover. After he assumes you’re okay, he’ll wrap his big arms around you and hold you there until the morning. After that? Well, he’s got people to kill… so he’ll be back for you later tonight…

B = Body Part (Their favorite part of their own body and their S/O’s)

His favorite body part on him is definitely the hands. They help him do his best work, but most of all he loves watching them curl around your neck. He savors every moment of you struggling against him until he can’t take it anymore and slams you on the bed. Don’t think he’ll let go either… choking you while he’s pushing inside of you is the fastest way to get him off.

His favorite body part on you, however, are the legs. You have a bad habit of not wearing pants around the house when you’re alone, so when he comes back from a spree and sees you curled on the couch in just your underwear… it’s on. Not to mention when you two roleplay as stalker and victim: seeing those legs run away from him, grabbing them and pushing you to the ground, lifting them above his shoulders so he can go down on you. It’s the fastest way to get you off.

C = Cum (Anything to do with it really… I’m a disgusting person)

Absolutely LOVES cumming inside of you. Especially while he’s on top and can see your face as he fills you. Once during a particularly long session, he came inside of you, pulled out, and started licking the cum out of your hole. That only marked your third orgasm of the evening.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Cuddling. Bastard can’t get enough of it. Given most of his life has been spent in a cold psych ward, he can get pretty touch-starved. He has a habit of coming home and just wrapping himself around you until you eventually have to pee or eat… and even then he’ll still hold you for at least ten more minutes. Cock warming goes pretty much hand-in-hand with this. He once stayed inside of you for a whole HOUR.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Like I said… most of his formative years have been in captivity. You had to make the first move, definitely… but Michael is a very fast learner. The first time you asked him to go down on you, he pulled your legs apart right then and there and started practicing. So long as it makes you moan and scream his name, he’s ready to try and master it.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying, will probably include a visual)

Any position where he can see your face will turn him on the most. On the good days, he’ll stroke his tongue over your pussy while making you look into his eyes and caress your face while he enters you. On the bad days, well... prepare for bruises the next morning. Michael will take you by the throat and shove his cock so deep into you you could see the lining of it through your stomach bulge. He’ll take your hips and piston into you at a grueling pace, all while keeping the mask on and staring into your eyes.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

While Michael does, in fact, have a sense of humor (Fuck you, Loomis), he’s just as stoic in the bedroom as outside it. One time after making you cum an impossible number of times, you could have sworn you sensed him smirk through the mask.

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Michael doesn’t really pay much attention to the amount of hair he has down there, however, he knows you do. You had the courage to bring it up one night, but he just gave the same dismissive grunt he always made. The next morning, however, he was freshly trimmed and groomed. You didn’t dare mention it of course, since you knew as soon as you did he’d stop. 

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect)

Surprisingly, Michael does have a tendency to get lost in the moment before he finds himself and snaps out of it. It’s the little things: the cuddling, the soft touches before he enters you... he even brought you a gold necklace once. It was covered in blood, but it's the thought that counts.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation head canon)

He doesn’t really enjoy it as much as he does with you. In fact, it’s rare that you find him touching himself at all. You assumed he had to at one point, but given the number of times he’s just pulled you down to his crotch for a blowjob... you suspect not so much.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Besides the cock warming, the choking, and dominance... Michael has a huge blood kink. You found out when you cut yourself cooking in the kitchen and started sucking on your finger. You looked up and saw Michael already bounding towards you. Now on very special occasions, you know that a well-placed nick or a subtly moving his knife to the dresser will initiate some very long nights. He also has a pretty big size kink. The man dwarfs most people, but he loves how tiny you look compared to him, especially while he’s on top in the bedroom.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Michael won’t really leave the bedroom unless it’s an emergency. Wearing one of his shirts with no panties while lounging on the couch? He’ll pull your legs right back and get to work. Leaning over the counter with your ass out cooking? He’ll grab onto your hips and grind against you right there. Heading to the shower? Hope you like the company. Okay, okay, okay... so maybe “emergency” is pretty loosely defined to him. You don’t really mind.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

It really can be the smallest thing, but Michael’s biggest turn on? Teasing. This man can not handle even the tiniest poke of the bear without going feral. For instance, calling him “Mikey”? Fifty-fifty chance of you getting murdered or fucked into a mattress. 

N = No (Something they wouldn’t talk about, turn-offs)

Teasing him too far without any pay off will definitely piss him off more than turn him on. It’s a very delicate balance that could either have you riding him all night long or pinned against the wall with a knife to your throat. Another big no-no would be the family. Michael’s not a big talker in the first place but mentioning Laurie will start a full-on killing spree with you as the final girl. 

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

You’ve only seen Micahel without his mask a handful of times, most of which were either him asleep or coming back from “work”. However, one night, after a particularly long dry spell during your period, he came home heaving and covered in blood. You could see the predatory look behind the mask and quickly prepared yourself for a long night. He pushed you onto the bed, ripped your pants and underwear off, and went down on you for the first time. It was clear that he was new to this kind of thing, but like everything else he did, he took an enthusiastic first try. His tongue had gone over your clit, around your cunt, and inside you so many times you were cumming in less than a minute. His mouth and face covered in blood as he got up made him look even more feral before he grabbed your hips, flipped you over, and started pounding into you from behind. It would hurt like all hell the next morning, but it was so worth it.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Michael’s pace matches whatever will ruin you in the moment. Feeling frisky and can’t wait for a rough, hard fucking? He will pick you apart methodically, almost clinically, so slowly so you’ll be begging him the entire night. Michael will pin you down onto the bed and deliberately ease himself into you while staring directly into your eyes. Whimper and beg all you want; his only goal is to slam into you while pulling all the way out to make you cum, over, and over, and over again. Then on the next night, when you least expect it, he’ll bend you over the nearest flat surface and finger your cunt until you explode... the best of both worlds.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

As much as Michael loves hovering over you, watching every second of you falling apart, he’s very much aware that you two don’t need to have proper sex to make that happen. Not to mention how often he goes out or “work”. More often than not, however, it’ll be you kick starting things since you know how much your teasing affects him. One day when you heard his heavy boots walking up to the door, you took off your clothes as quickly as you could leaving yourself in your bra and panties and waited. As soon as he stepped through the door and saw you, he locked the door behind him and grabbed your hair by the scalp. The moan you let out only encouraged him as he unzipped his jumpsuit and pulls out his cock...

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risk, etc.)

As previously stated, Michael will do anything to make you squirm. Your whole existence to him at this point is a walking, talking fuck toy. However, he’s still dead set on keeping you from the rest of the world, so no exhibitionist-esque escapades for you, sorry. He does get more and more bold with his blood kink. Sometimes a simple prick will do, but before you know it, he’ll have plunged the kitchen knife into your side. He knows not to hit anything vital, obviously, and you’ll heal up in a couple days anyway. Be pissed at him all you want: that’s the deal.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last)

Oh... Michael can last. He has an absurd amount of control and go as long as you need and then some. You figure its a mix of pent up energy from the psych ward/lack of entertainment in general as well as that whole making you suffer thing he has. Overstimulating you is practically his end-all-be-all goal, so make certain you can handle cumming multiple times any time he’s feeling up to it.

T = Toy (Do they own/use toys? On themselves or their partner?)

Michael hates toys and in fact threw away your vibrator when he found it in your underwear drawer. He’s the only thing that’s going to make you writhe and scream, dammit. He won’t use toys, but he’ll still tie you up with your own scarves or anything handy. Just because he hates the mechanical stuff doesn’t mean he won’t play around a little...

U = Unfair (How much do they like to tease?)

Michael? Tease? He’s not really the subtle type. More like the, walk through the door, lift you up by the ass, and take you to the bedroom type. However, one day after doing some handiwork around the house, he came into the kitchen with a sweat drenched t-shirt and took it off right in front of you. You couldn’t help the blush crawling over your face and you definitely couldn’t hide it from him. All he did was give you half a smirk and slowly walk into the bedroom where he knew you’d follow.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make )

It’s no secret Michael’s the quiet type. Same way in the bedroom: heavy breathing, grunts, and the occasional deep growl that drips down your spine. Honestly getting him worked up to the point where he can’t help but spill out those low, guttural noises just makes you even hotter. 

W = Wild Card (A random head canon for the character of your choice)

Michael’s favorite pass time is watching you masturbate. He’ll pretend to leave in the morning but sneak back through the bedroom window and hide in your closet. Sometimes it’ll take hours, but he knows eventually you’ll spread yourself onto the bed and start roaming your hands all over your body. You always do it just like he would: starting with the nipples, rolling over and pinching them so they get nice and hard. Then move down to your clit, rubbing it in circles gently at first, then furiously while sliding in a finger, then two. It only takes a few minutes before you cum completely undone. His favorite part is when you taste your fingers afterwards. It’s almost enough to make him burst through the door and give you another.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what going on in those pants, pictures or words)

Michael sports a fair five and half inches flaccid, seven inches hard. Not too girthy, but still thick enough for you to have to use two hands when you want to jerk him off.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Seriously? Years in a psych ward combined with meeting you and learning some all new tricks? You’re surprised he hasn’t put you in a wheelchair yet. The dangerous thing is that he can control it. The same amount of libido would bring a man to his knees, but not Myers. He will fuck you for hours and still be ready for another round at the drop of a hat. 

Z = ZZZ (How quickly will they fall asleep afterwards?)

He’ll always wait for you to sleep first, which isn’t a long wait by any means. As formidable as he is, he won’t take off his mask around you if he doesn’t need to. Sure, he’ll let you catch him without it a few times, but that’s only because he knows you won’t say anything either way. After you’re down however, it still takes him a good amount of time before he can get himself to sleep. It’s a predator thing.

[thunderheadfred]

Good and Bad things about getting healthier

Under a cut since not everybody wants to hear about this stuff.

Since about February, I’ve been gradually making healthier lifestyle changes. 2020 being what it was, my therapist and I mutually agreed it wasn’t a great time to do anything major until Trump was out of office and (some) of my severe anxiety about social collapse was assuaged. I say “some” for reasons that should be obvious, but, whatever. This is about personal and not global health. I’ve got to start somewhere.

side note: it’s also gonna look like I have more bad things than good, but that’s mostly because the “bad” require a lot of explaining, haha.

It’s definitely more good than bad.

The Good:

more energy*

mood regulation**

better sleep

overcoming addiction behaviors

GOALS???? I remember YOU

oh yeah, maybe I do have a future after all

no longer too depressed/tired to leave the house

confidence boost that comes from living in alignment with my core values

buying myself stupid nerdy graphic tee-shirts on sale just so I can wear them while I work out

when I work out my dog hangs out with me and jumps around imitating me and it’s the cutest fucking thing I’ve EVER seen

* = I have CFS, so the “more energy” thing comes with a heavy caveat: as long as I don’t overdo it. I’ve introduced exercise SLOWLY. Like, over a few months. First I moved around the house more, then I started walking the dog, then I started doing some extremely low-impact beginner home workouts (WITH PAUSES/MODIFICATIONS). Even then, I had a 3 day crash after my first week of “real” exercise; on one of those days I barely got out of bed. I’m back at it now and feeling better, but. Like. I just have to be constantly aware of my energy balance.

** = I’m also adjusting medications for depression and PMDD, so there’s been some mood swinging that has required a lot of awareness and mindfulness, but overall the trend has been very positive

The Bad

Guilt This is... a big, complex issue I’m not smart enough to tackle here but basically... it’s a mix of my own lifelong baggage AND that unique late-capitalism feeling like our society is falling down and I don’t have any right to “improve” myself in the meantime. There’s a lot of legit social issues to unpack in that line of thinking, and I’m not going to dig into it here because... I just don’t have the mental capacity, (and also it doesn’t actually fix ANY of those issues) but yeah, that mindset severely hampered any personal progress in 2020 and I’ve just had to kind of... put it aside this year. Put on your oxygen mask before helping others and all that.

Body Positivity This is another huge and complicated topic that I have no desire to fully unpack here. But basically: there is a toxic side to “body positivity” that ignores the health risks of obesity AND the emotional problems that can lead to excessive weight gain. I believe everybody deserves respect and compassion at any size, period, and yeah, there’s some equally toxic diet culture bullshit that is ALSO best avoided. But the whole fatphobia mania has made me afraid to even talk about my weight loss publicly. I am not happy at my weight, for reasons far deeper than “conventional attractiveness.” I’m not about to pretend my current body is anything other than a result of disordered eating, alcoholism, and depression. Honoring my body means doing things for it that can be difficult, but are based around recovery and self-respect. Anyway. A rant. This shit is tiring.

Focus I have a hard time focusing on more than one thing at a time. Tackling exercise and cooking at home, doing all the workout scheduling and meal planning, basically the adult shit I forgot how to do in the midst of severe depression... it’s taken a huge chunk of my mental real estate. So I haven’t gotten to make progress on other things I wanted to in 2021, (friendships, art, writing, reading, Japanese) and it’s hard not to beat myself up about it. But. One thing at a time. And health needs to be the most important, so everything else can come back in healthier ways. Sigh.

Deceptive Non-Results To get back to a healthy body, I have about 100lbs to lose. I’m so tall that it doesn’t really look like it, because I distribute fat over a large area. I had NO IDEA what a scary amount of weight I’d gained last year. Plus, now that I’ve lost some weight, there is pretty much no discernible difference. Definitely reinforces the need for intrinsic motivation and healthy non-weight health goals cuz.... yeah. this shit is not happening quickly or dramatically.

[clunelover]

Today everyone at work is off for a “thank you day” (and if it was already your flex day you got to also take Thursday off which is how they handle all flex days that fall on a holiday)

Anyway I’m a genius because I got dressed in workout clothes before taking the kids to school/daycare so I’d have no additional excuse not to work out, and I am now going to test out a recently developed dream that I haven’t had time for yet - what if I ride my bike and then do yoga right after?? I bet it will be awesome. And then I’ll foam roll and do my PT exercises. I’m not positive because I have been trying to just do the work and not think about it, but I think the state of my pelvic floor etc seems improved, even though I’ve only been doing foam rolling and a little bit of ab work (but honestly I often forget that part and it’s still hard to feel “connected” to my low abs). It’s pretty fascinating how everything is connected…so now I feel much more motivated to pick yoga back up and get more mobility in my hips. I bought a bolster on cyber Monday sale (ugh) so I can try to do yin yoga at home without having to pay $20 a pop to do it at a studio wearing a mask.

[boogiewrites]

No. 9: The Body Ch. 7

Characters: Diego Hargreeves & OFC Eve Corpuz

Summary: Eve and Diego get closer, leading to the inevitable confession of attraction. Eve’s powers grow to make some new very interesting connections.

Warnings/Tags: Flirting. Dancing. Training. Sexual Content. Masturbation. 

Click on my icon then go to my Mobile Masterlist in my bio for my other works and chapters. Please like, comment and reblog if you enjoyed it! It helps out us writers A LOT! If you’d like added to the tags, just let me know. This is a multi-chapter fic.

Their lives had become a new normal the past few months. Training had become a welcome escape and focus for them both. Eve had slowly been getting stronger in physicality and her powers. She and Diego were also undoubtedly getting closer as well. 

It wasn’t just physical closeness, although there was plenty of that. Like the time she got a weird hip cramp from doing too many kicks and he had to put her on the floor and stretch her leg up and lean in. If she hadn’t been in pain she would’ve noticed the hip to hip placement and how the sounds she was making could be interpreted wholly differently. 

Eve was very busy, work picking back up and her trying to manage it all. She found time to still be with Diego on occasion. 

He’d wanted to introduce her to what he did. He called them patrols, and she called them looking for trouble. He’d help thwart muggers and she’d heal him up. She’d offer to help heal at the homeless camps and he’d be her bodyguard. They were finding they had a lot of similarities. That need to prove that they were good and make themselves useful. Despite the drastically different childhoods they’d had, they still seemed to get out with the same sort of hang-ups. It made for a deeper connection as anytime they tried to defend their decisions, the other would simply nod and say, “No, I get it.” And mean it.

This connection not only afforded them someone to share their seriousness with, their passions and motivations, it also allowed for more room in their lives to let their guards down with the built trust. It allowed them both time to do something they rarely did with others, be silly. 

She’d made him give into using her playlists since she was the one paying, she stressed. He’d not teased her too much about her music. But what he didn’t know is she had multiple ones for when she was alone. Eve loved to make a list, and playlists were no exception. Her workouts at home on her days off consisted of her dancing. Nothing fancy, just freestyling like she was back in her club days and music video choreography like she was a teen again. She still knew every move to Oops I did it again and that was a secret she’d take to her grave. 

So in the transition between takedowns, when The Weeknd comes on with his synthy beat for Blinding Lights, Diego is confused like a puppy as the single tone plays for a moment before realizing it’s something he’s heard on the radio before. 

“I like the 80’s vibes but I’ve never fought to anything this… dancey.”

“Yeah, this...isn’t the right playlist. This must be my dance workout one. I’ll change it.” she says wiping her face off with her shirt and walking over.

“You have a dance workout? Like that.. zumba stuff?”

“No.” she shakes her head and laughs. “On my days off I do cardio to music just... dancing around. Y’know a solid beat to do reps to.”

“Show me.” he says with a big teasing grin.

“Ugh.” She makes a disappointed face.

“You’re never shy, c’mon.” he motions to the center of the mat to give her the floor. 

“Put a girl on the spot.” she mumbles and starts a basic hip moving beat. “This one’s got a lot of The Weeknd on it.” she grins almost bashfully. She stretches to the beat, squats, and simple body weight reps. “See? You just do some reps and then dance when you want to.”

He comes in line with her and starts copying her. “So you start with the Carlton dance?”

“Shut up!” she laughs and claps her hands at him. “It is NOT the Carlton dance you asshole.” she laughs and gets back into her one-two-step sway to the beat that isn’t enough to wear you out but enough to keep your heart rate up.

“Nah, I’m pretty sure it is.” he says with a boyish persistent nod. 

“You want me to really dance? Like I do at home? I’ll fuckin’...twerk all over this gym, Diego.” she says it like a threat and he gives her a full chested laugh. “You want a choreographed routine?” she busts a move from an old routine from her stage days when she was younger. 

“Yeah! What you got?”

“Fine, next song…” she waits for the song to shift. Earned It begins to play and she rolls her eyes. “This isn’t a…” she snorts. “Not what I meant. Not really a workout song.”

“Then why is it on the playlist?”

“Because it IS a routine but not…” she twitches her nose. 

“I am intrigued. Understandably.” he crosses his arms feeling the upper hand. 

“You’re a dick, you know that?” she sighs and goes and grabs a fold-up chair from the edge of the room. “If I do this, you have to dance for ME. Fairs fair.”

“Oga for oga.” he nods

“What?”

“Nothing. It’s Swedish.” he grunts out with a showy shake of his head. 

“I was dancer. So this is… a routine we would do…” 

“You don’t fight like a dancer moves, no offense.”

“Not the same kind of dancer…” she grins before it comes apparent just what sort of dancer she meant. “Never done this for free. Consider yourself lucky.” she laughs as she flips her hair over in her high pony and continues spinning and straddling the chair. 

“I do. I am very lucky.” he grins and thumbs his lip. Giving her a cocky nod and up and down.

“I’m only doing this on the basis of double dog dare rules.” 

“And I respect that.” he continues his big grin and nod as he judged her playfully without a word. 

“That’s all you get for free.” she rises out of an almost split on the floor. “Fuck. Need to work on my splits.” she gives a good stretch after moving the chair. “Your turn. Better make this Magic Mike worthy.” she demands with a pointed finger to the floor. 

“Maybe not Magic Mike…” he shrugs as another song plays in, I Feel It Coming playing through. “This new?”

“New-ish.” she answers. He casually keeps his eyes away from hers as his hands move confidently to her body and yank her close, a formal stance as he finds the beat with a bobbing head. “Follow my lead.” he connects his eyes and takes her in a waltz light stride across the floor.

“What is this? Am I suddenly a duchess being courted in the 1700s?” she teases and he throws her out to spin her.

“No, because she’d know how to do this.” he taunts before dipping her. 

“I’m sorry I’m not that fancy!” she laughs with messy hair as he pulls her back up quickly.

“Oh, you think it’s fancy?”

“Yeah because it is. This is 4 different kinds of forks at dinner fancy.” she mocks. “I gave you grade A… okay grade B exotic dancer vibes and you give me Mr. Darcy who will faint if he sees my ankles.”

“Fine.” he rolls his eyes and pulls her back to his chest. Hands hard on her hips make her blush immediately, a quick beat hip sway catches her off guard. “Better?”

“Yes. Give me modern. Give me it’s early 2000’s and you’re shaking it like you don't wanna go home broke that night.” she demands playfully and they share a laugh, feeling the nostalgia for a moment and falling into a comfortable, borderline not appropriate dancing for middle schoolers. They gave over for a minute, hips and hands and him using his intense eyes that had gotten him what he’d wanted when he was younger. Eve could dance, she’d made a living out of it before and during school before things got too hectic to keep up work and study and residency. She’d danced before that with fake ID’s in clubs, she’d been around plenty of people and places, and she hated to admit that the man could move. With his almost pitbull puppy appearance she could forget that he was very in tune with his body when he wanted. She was reminded of it when she would watch him fight someone else. And she was reminded of it as he had his hands around her waist and hips with no hesitation, a confidence his usual demeanor with her lacked. They came together to sway, eyes locked and subtle smiles with competitive dark eyes watching the other.

“Eve?” 

“Hmm?” she asks with a pleasant smile as she looks up to him in the reverse embrace. 

“Would you-” he begins, his head tilted to her shoulder. He takes a low key deep breath and swings her away, taking her hands back into a much simpler embrace. “Would you wanna go out sometime?” His voice didn’t exactly crack but there was a fleeting moment of him losing his suave exterior to show the unsure boy with a crush underneath. 

“Go out?” she asks rhetorically. “And do more of this?” she asks with a playful inflection to show he didn’t need to be nervous. 

“I mean, if you want me to keep making you look bad…” he smirks and she steps on his foot and they share a hushed laugh. “We could go dancing.” he offers.

“We don’t have to,” she answers quickly and quietly. “It’s not something I do much. Well, in public anyway.” they continue a slow PTA approved slow dance stature together. 

“Yeah me either.” he chuckles back. 

“If not dancing..then what?”

“We could, uh, have drinks.” he offers with a thoughtful pursed mouth. 

“We could eat.” she offers with a wide grin.

“Always with you and food.” he teases

“Always. I’ve never seen you turn it down anytime it was offered.”

“Touche.” he narrows his eyes. “Food and drinks. Alright, we’ll go to a place that has food and drinks.”

“....a restaurant?” she asks with a bubbling laugh.

“Yeah. One of those.” he breathily laughs it out and looks away for a moment. 

He was awfully cute when he was dumb. 

“I know this place. Good burgers.” he nods. “There’s a bar and you can get food. It’s small… not very busy. Mostly working-class people y’know. Easy to have some privacy.”

“You make it sound like we’re going on a stakeout.” 

“Old habit I guess.”

“So it’s not in fact, a stakeout?”

‘No. No stakeout.” he answers enthusiastically and feeling her playful energy. 

“Promise?”

“Pinky promise.”

“Deal.” she doesn’t break from the sacred finger hold, and neither does he. “So if it’s not work…” she begins with an animated move of her neck. “Does that mean this is a date?” 

He pauses for a moment and lowers his chin to face her more head-on, speaking more quietly. “Yeah. A date.” she sees that flash of fuck boy, she’d named it. You know the lip-biting, the fingers through the hair and doing that nod your way like they know you want them. Tik tok fuck boys, the ones with 90’s teen heartthrob hair. While Diego’s hair wasn’t quite to that length yet, she wondered for a distracted second how it might look on him, or if he’d had that hair when they were that age. 

“Was it the Carlton dance?” she asks with wiggling eyebrows and he breaks his suave demeanor. “Or was it the chair dance?” she gives a goofy wiggle in his arms. 

“It was more the chair than the Carlton…” she feels that shift, his hand a bit more demanding on her lower back, keeping her close. “But I wouldn’t turn down that Carlton dance after a few drinks.” they both fall into a  shared bubble of laughter as she ducks her head to his chest and her shoulders shake. 

“I’ll be sure to wear a pastel sweater and some pleated khakis on the date.” she says with a sly grin that he answers with crinkled eyes of amusement. 

“The chair dance in THAT? Now THAT’s sexy.”

“Oh yeah, catch me three drinks deep and grinding in my fuckin’...Tommy Bahama dress slacks.” she moves her hips grinding on his thigh to call his bluff and before he can break his sarcastic bitten lip to show excessive interest in the idea - a voice breaks their bubble of intimacy they’d been working on all night. 

“Do we need a separate license to teach dance?”  The voice breaks a cozy moment between them. They both freeze and Eve blinks curiously at the short teenager with the angry face. Oh yeah, that had to be his brother.

“We have that license. And the one for the use of the songs.” Diego’s hands move away without much rush from Eve, his smile fading almost instantly. “What do you want?” 

“A word?” a cocked eyebrow from the pale and strong-jawed young man.

“We were kind’ve in the middle of-”

“In the middle of -what- exactly Diego?” Five’s head cocked the side. 

“It’s fine. I can go. It’s near the end of my session anyway.”

“Oh.” Five mumbles. “Didn’t realize you were a paying customer.”

“Yeah. Hi. I’m Doctor Eve Corpuz.” she reaches out her hand after putting on a hoodie. 

“Doctor, eh? What kind?”

“ER Doctor at Calvary.” 

“MMph.” He gives a respectful nod. “Wouldn’t be where you met my mess of a brother would it?”

“It would be actually.” she gives a warm smile as she stuffs her things into her duffle. 

“Pleasure to meet you. But I do need a word in private with my brother.”

“Family stuff. I get it.” she nervously laughs. “I’ll see you on Thursday?”

“Uh...yeah.” Diego shakes his head, obviously flustered and glaring at his brother.

“Okay. See you. You boys have a good night!”

Eve pulls up her hood to cozy against the blustery spring night. 

---------------------------------------------------

Eve had received a smattering of high energy texts from her friend when she sent, ‘I think my trainer just asked me out?😏’. 

With playful accusations of what a harlot Eve was planning on being she was also met with a new nervousness. Now the way her coworker was seeing it, her hot Personal trainer asked her if she wanted to go out. As opposed to how Eve saw it, her mentor Diego seeing if she wanted to do something besides train for once. But he loved training. Yeah, she couldn’t lie to herself. It was a date. 

Once the revelation hits her she keeps a sly smile on her face as she goes about her evening in her apartment. It WAS a date. And he HAD had his hands all over her tonight. Not that it was unusual with their new ventures into MMA, but this was different. That was for fun. Not for training purposes. They’d just been two people dirty dancing. At least for what action Eve had gotten lately, it was considered dirty. 

She turns her playlist to the one from the gym earlier over her speakers. She finds the same sultry song, the one she’d used in her VIP room lap dances. She’d loved the video for the song and made up a routine based on it. She wasn’t a fan of the movie or book it came from but it was a moody vibe setter and that’s what she liked in her work. She takes a chair from the corner of her room, in just her panties and paper-thin t-shirt, and channeled that part of her that’d been bubbling beneath the surface ever since she’d met Diego. That part of her that kept in touch with her sexuality every day. The part of her that loved moving her body to the music, audience or not. 

She admires herself in the dresser mirror for a moment. Something she hadn’t done in a while beyond the quick double-take of having her butt look good. She felt like herself, the Eve she was without all this worry about powers and careers and responsibility. That girl that loved dancing. The girl that went from town to town, loving and leaving and never staying long enough to take root. Being led by nothing but her heart. Not a thought to the future.  It was easy to miss that version of herself, but she knew she was better for having gotten her shit together. But it was nice to romanticize from time to time alone. 

He could just be a guy at a bar, and she’s an eager woman looking for something that burns so hot it couldn't last. It doesn’t take long for her to fall into her fantasy, recalling his hands on her, sweat dripping onto her collarbone from his damp hair hanging across his forehead over those dark eyes. She could smell him, feel his hands on her she knew when she kissed him she’d taste the salt of his sweat. She was in deep, just like her fingers between her pussy lips. She’d have a spicy little daydream, cum nice and hard, and fall into a heavy sleep. That was her plan for the evening.

Across town, in his apartment, Diego’s night was just getting started. He was looking over documents Five had given him, something he thought he might need to know about. But he was finding it hard to concentrate.

He thought he was past this sort of thing, some adolescent reminiscent sudden sexual urge that made its way into your head and wouldn’t get out. As his fingers fidgeted and his leg bounced, he took a deep breath and he felt his body getting warm, the blood flowing and him seeing the straining against his gym shorts. He took another deep breath and this one felt more like a sigh, a slump onto the desk in front of him as he looked down at his twitching shorts. 

“Really? Now?” He mutters to himself as he looks around as if someone could be watching, making his way to his bedroom. Wasn’t going to chance anyone interrupting him again. 

He sat on the bed, kicking off his bottoms and tossing his shirt aside. But as soon as he gave into it, it was like he could feel her hands on him, and there was only one woman on his mind. It’s like she was in his arms again, her strong hips in his hands, he could feel her hand creeping up around his neck, nails raking on his scalp and making him shiver. 

She didn’t waste much time, her clit already throbbing and aching for attention. In her mind, she finally brings those full lips to her own, hand into his pants and happy with what she finds there. 

It was as if he could feel her mouth around him, his hand and hers one of the same, her imagining him in her throat and nice and wet before abandoning the laws of physics and then suddenly laying down and her slipping him inside. 

From her leisurely position on the bed she moves on her hands and knees, a pillow a poor stand-in, but her imagination makes up the rest. She wanted to feel that broad chest under her hands and the slap of skin to skin. She felt the slip of sweat on her palms and held him by the hair as she rode and kissed him.

Diego was sprawled in his bed, hand around his cock, and pumping to try to satisfy himself. He could feel her grinding against him, that delicious weight of a woman on top of you, taking what she needed. He very easily imagined it, finally seeing her tits bounce as she moved and the never-ending expanse of her tattoos without the interference of clothes. He was happy to take a back seat for a hot creature like her but he grew hungry, nearing his end faster than he anticipated. 

Eve was at the desperate stage. So close to reaching the peak. Everything sensitive and flushed and wanting to lay back and take it. She grabs a dildo from the bedside drawer, a quick stick to the headboard, and Eve was moaning out his name to an empty room. 

With a hand hard on the headboard, his body taught and almost angry at the tension, he feels the bounce-back of her ass as he drills into her. Hands fast to her hips and back, holding her down. He let out a frustrated growl as he felt his own orgasm about to rise.

With a moan, she begs for him to go deeper and she feels the release through her body. Hands on her tits and moaningas she convulsed, imagining his cock inside her instead, his hands tight to her hip and breast just as she was envisioning. He collapsed into the pillow beneath him, panting. 

“That was… intense.” They sigh. 

Apparently, Eve’s powers growing stronger was creating some interesting connections. 

 @jaegeeeeer​ @diegos-butt​ @anglovesthis @likedovesinthewnd​

[kirishwima]

Sorry I sent you the same ask earlier but I'd rather it be anon! How about RFA + Saeran headcanons with a professional dancer MC? Like dancing that's a bit more "close" like tango. How do they feel about her career and do they ever get jealous? Or do they just see it as her job? How do they feel about her dancing partner? (Assuming her dance partner is just a really cool standup guy who respects his partner's relationship)

so, quick funny story: i signed up for a dance class last semester as an EC, thinking it’d be fun workout dances like zumba...turns out no,  me and my other 3 friends signed up for a classical dance class where each girl had signed up with her boyfriend, so people just assumed we were 2 lesbian couples for the whole semester lmaoanyway that’s just to say-i got u covered with this headcanon lmao

YOOSUNG:

* When MC told him about their profession he was really excited! He immediatly went to youtube to watch some of MC’s competition videos, ready to whole-heartedly support her work

* Even though MC told him she focused more on latin and classical dances, and that she had a dance partner, Yoosung didn’t really put two and two together until he clicked on a video of her performing a waltz with her dance partner

* Seeing her so close to him, his leg nearly slipping between her thighs as he held her close by the waist and whirled her around the stage...Yoosung couldn’t help the jealousy churning in his gut, but more than that, he couldn’t help but compare himself to MC’s dance partner-imagining how different it’d be if he were the one dancing with her, his guilty jealousy mixing with his insecurities into a sticky concoction that made his chest heavy.

* He wouldn’t upright tell MC he was angry or jealous-but MC’s no fool. If she came home to Yoosung giving her the cold shoulder, she’d understand where that’s coming from and sit down with him to talk.

* Honestly, all Yoosung needs to hear is that she and her dance partner are simply good friends and colleagues, and that she’s in love with Yoosung, no one else.

* Having Yoosung meet her dance partner would also help-and whilst Yoosung’s jealousy may never fully go away, it’ll mellow out, and he’ll simply be glad to see MC enjoying her work, and you can be dang sure he’ll be there for her 100%, supporting her in each competition and recital.

ZEN:

* Whilst he’s a very, VERY jealous guy, he’s also a professional, so he’s actually quite calm when MC explains her profession and how she has a dance partner.

* Zen would insist on meeting this guy, wanting to be certain he has no ulterior motives dancing with MC-he’d never be rude to the guy, but he’d be a little stiff at first.

* Once he understands that he’s a standup guy that simply views MC as a friend and colleague, Zen will be more than satisfied. After all it’d be ironic for him to make a fuss when MC never fusses over him having romantic scenes with other actors, now wouldn’t it?

* He’s very supportive, and actually helps MC practice some dance moves whilst at home!

* He doesn’t really know much about classical dances, but he’s had some lessons before so he knows the basics at least, and if it comes to alternative dances or latin ones, he’s definitely good at them

* Besides...he’ll never pass up on an opprotunity to hold MC close to him, sliding his hands onto her hips as they sway together along to the music *wink wonk* 

* Just a supportive boyfriend really, plus, he’d totally gush about his fantastic dancer girlfriend on his social media lol~

JAEHEE:

* She’s honestly probably the only one to not be jealous...at all

* She finds MC’s profession wonderful, and is super supportive-as much as she is with Zen’s carreer!! Will never miss a competition or show if she can help it, and will even help MC practice at home as much as she can-even though when MC gets super close to her to practice some moves she’ll get really flustered about it lol

* The only thing that might bother her is that MC seems so graceful thanks to her years of dance training, that Jaehee wonders if MC feels that she’s too ungraceful. When she brings that up to MC though and MC furiously denies it, saying she loves Jaehee as she is and that she’s wonderful, then even that worry completely disissipates, and all that’s left is genuine excitement and support.

* She does want to meet MC’s dance partner eventually, if only to also congratulate him on their successful career; and if she finds out he’s a nice and kind guy she’ll be happy he’s MC’s friends (and hopefully hers too!)

* Honestly though...just imagine a lazy afternoon with Jaehee, the sun’s lower in the sky but still peeking through the curtains, illumianting dust particles in the air, Jaehee’s brewing coffee as MC chooses a dance track to play on her phone connected to a speaker, and as the music starts she sneakily comes up behind Jaehee, wrapping her hands around Jaehee’s waist, swaying them both to the beat. Jaehee laughs, her cheeks red as she turns around to kiss the corner of MC’s lips, when MC finds the opprotunity to take Jaehee by the waist and swirl her around, dancing with her in the living room, only instead of proper dance steps they just sway each other around, giggling every time they step over one another.

* im sORRY im a useless bisexual that dreams of having a girlfriend to do this with ok, let me live T-T

JUMIN:

* He’s actually a very posessive guy, and has been fully trained in classical dances, so when MC tells him about her profession and her dance partner, he sits there with his arms crossed over his chest, a frown on his lips.

* “And this dance partner of yours...how did you meet him? How long do you know each other? Is he in a romantic relationship? Has he ever expressed interest in you that goes beyond friendship?”

* It’ll take a while for MC to calm him down and will require yet another discussion about boundaries and posessiveness-while it can be cute to be jealous sometimes, obsessing over the other person isn’t, and Jumin never wants MC to feel that he’s pressuring her or being over-protective; so he’ll apologize, but ask to meet this dance partner, if only to ease his worries.

* Turns out the guy is not only a really respectful dude, but he also has no romantic interest in MC, and clearly says so to Jumin-mainly bc the poor guy’s terrified of the cold stare Jumin pins him with lmao

* Other than that, Jumin is fully supportive, and will never miss a show MC puts up for anything in the world-though sometimes he’ll bring Elizabeth the 3d with him so she too can experience the grace of dance lol

* He’ll oftentimes ask MC to dance with him, be it in buisness parties or simply during lazy mornings at home, happy for any excuse that lets him hold MC this close to him. 

* He’s actually an amazing dance partner, and MC will ask him to help her practice new steps from time to time when he’s at home

SEVEN/SAEYOUNG/LUCIEL:

* Of course he already knew about her profession since he did a background check and all, and he knew about her dance partner too-he even did a background check on him, back when he was trying to figure out who the hacker is, in case he might be the guy they’re looking for.

* He finds MC to be so, so graceful, and seiing her dance up close is a blessing; he really thinks she looks weightless in those moments, even more beautiful than usual as she seems to genially enjoy her time dancing

* He’s not of much help, but he loves grabbing MC and twirling her around when music plays, and even with no music playing, he’ll hum a tune himself, relishing in MC’s giggles as he holds her close to him

* They’re that adorable silly couple that dances around in their pyjamas whilst making breakfast, ending the little dance session with a kiss and the sound of laughter echoing across the house. 

* He can’t always make it to MC’s shows due to his job, but he’ll hack into the cameras of the theatre later on to make a DVD out of her preformance to watch at home later on-sometimes MC will join him in watching so she can take note of things she’d like to change or improve.

* When it comes to jelaousy, it’s true that Saeyoung does feel a pang of it when he sees the chemistry she and her dance partner have when they dance; but it’s not hard to notice when Saeyoung feels this way, and a kiss to his cheek followed by an ‘I love you’ can melt the negative feeling straight off of his body.

V/JIHYUN:

* He too finds MC being a dancer amazing, and is absoloutely supportive-he honestly not once even felt a tange of jealousy at her closeness to her dance partner, he was simply and whole-heartedly supportive and excited for her carreer. 

* He’d shyly ask if he could observe some of her practices to draw some sketches-it’s the best chance to study things like the line of action, and how a motion sketch can then be transferred into a full proper painting.

* Even though he’s pretty much given up on photography and switched to painting instead, he’d love to sneak some photographs of MC when she’s practicing her steps around the house; if MC notices him and asks him to join her in dancing he’ll turn bright red, insisting he can’t possibly match her, a professional dancer, when it came to dancing

* And yet he’d be yet again underestimating himself; he’s had dance lessons ever since he was a kid up until his late teens, so sure, he’s not a professional or anything, but he’s no novice either, and with some effort he can absoloutely keep up with MC

* This leads to frequent impromptu dance sessions around the house-Jihyun hates silence so there’s always music playing across the house, and MC will never waste an opprotunity to take a hold of Jihyun’s hands, prodding him to move forward and dance with her; she’ll have to guide his hands to her hips as he’d be too shy to do it himself at first, but once she gets him into it he’ll let himself relax, holding her close as they move to the beat, smiling as he leans his head to the crook of her neck.

* Just picture this: It’s early morning, Jihyun’s wearing his hair in a low ponytail as he’s setting down cups of coffee on the kitchen table, when a song MC loves comes up on the radio. He turns to her with a sheepish smile, knowing exactly what she’ll do-still in their pyjamas, MC runs around the table to Jihyun with an excited grin, grabbing his wrists as he lets her take the lead, letting her pace their first steps before he gets the hang of it and starts leading the dance instead; his movements are smooth and effortless, and he even dips MC down at the end, his hand on the small of her back, his one leg between her thighs as he supports her weight with one hand. He’ll smile, big and toothy and so unlike the usual poised Jihyun, giving MC a quick kiss before laughing and getting back up to give her her mug of coffee, taking a long sip from his to hide his blush in the bitter flavor.

* I have Big V Feels I’m Sorry :’)

SAERAN/RAY/UNKNOWN:

* He too knew all about MC and her profession from his background check before he brought her to Mint Eye; he didn’t think much of her dance partner at first, but as he started to develop feelings for her this jealousy grew and grew in him.

* While at Mint Eye he’d constantly ask MC questions about her dance partner, if they were close, if she liked him e.t.c.

* But everytime MC told him she likes Ray/Saeran, the jealousy would melt away, replaced by a deep infatuation instead

* After the whole Mint Eye ordeal and during his recovery, he’d love to watch videos of MC’s past competitions, and would never miss the chance to watch her dance up close; he’d never ask himself, but if she invited him to come to any of her practices he’d be more than thrilled, quietly observing her movements with an excited interest.

* It’d take a LOT of courage from him, but he’d eventually come up to MC, his cheeks red as he looked down and away from her. “I um-I’ve never-I never learnt to dance. And seeing you look so graceful I-”

* “Of course I’ll teach you Saeran!” she’d giddily agree before he could continue, and he’d be so shocked but happy-he genially wants to learn!

* She’d teach him some of the basics at first, but then during off season she’d bring him with her to practices so that her dance partner can teach her some things too since the steps are different for men and women in classical dances.

* He’d furiously blush everytime he danced with MC, biting his lip when she’d tell him to move closer to her.

* “Saeran you chest has to be as close to mine as possible-no, closer than this. Closer!” she instructed as she held his hands in hers, her chest flush to his as he slowly backed away embarassed.

* As he got bolder though....

* “Saeran, come closer than this.” 

* Well MC, if you insist...he took a hold of her hands, tugging her forward to him-before she could tumble over he slid a leg between hers, letting her head fall onto his chest, and before she could look up and speak, he’d lean down to kiss her.

* “Is this close enough?” he asks with a smirk and at that moment MC knew. She knew she’s created a Monster

* But she wouldn’t have it any other way ;)

-send me mystic messenger headcanons for character reactions!-

-masterpost-

[artificialqueens]

Level Up, Chapter Seven (Branjie) - Holtzmanns

“Mom, I’m not going on a date with your financial advisor.” Vanessa has to resist the urge to roll her eyes, knowing that her mom won’t hesitate to rip her a new one for it if she catches her.

“He’s young and tall and wears a suit.” Vanessa’s mom points the spatula in her hand in her direction. “Don’t you wanna date a suit?”

“I’m pretty sure it’s you that wants to date a suit.” Vanessa raises an eyebrow as she hops onto the counter, her legs dangling.

AN: New chapter time - thank you guys for being so patient and waiting for this one. Writing is going a bit slow for me these days, which means slower updates. To anyone who’s left a review on this story, hi I love you, thanks for being great and giving me even more motivation to write. Seeing people are actually reading and enjoying a fic because they say so is a good kick in the butt for any author’s muse. Let me know what you think of this chapter, too. As always, thank you writ for betaing <3

“Absolutely not.”

“Why not, he’s cute! And polite too, you know how much I like that.”

“Mom, I’m not going on a date with your financial advisor.” Vanessa has to resist the urge to roll her eyes, knowing that her mom won’t hesitate to rip her a new one for it if she catches her.

“He’s young and tall and wears a suit.” Vanessa’s mom points the spatula in her hand in her direction. “Don’t you wanna date a suit?”

“I’m pretty sure it’s you that wants to date a suit.” Vanessa raises an eyebrow as she hops onto the counter, her legs dangling.

Vanessa’s mom shrugs her shoulders. “Just tryna help you out, baby. You haven’t dated anyone in a while, have you? Who was the last one? That ugly looking-”

“No need to roast my exes.” Vanessa makes a face when her mom snickers.

Vanessa appreciates her mom’s intentions, but sometimes they’re a little off the mark. Or a lot off the mark, from the guys that she’s tried to set Vanessa up with lately.

It’s not as if Vanessa isn’t out to her mom. She is, or rather, has tried to be. Multiple times. The first time was in high school, when Vanessa had kissed her best friend and cried about it to her mom after her friend had started to avoid her, and her mom had told her that it was a phase that she’d grow out of. And then there was college, where Vanessa’s mom would meet her various girlfriends with brightly coloured hair and piercings and eclectic fashion senses, only to call them her close friends. It’s the difference in how Vanessa’s mom has treated her ex-boyfriends versus ex-girlfriends, paying way more attention to the boys even when they hadn’t been anything to write home about.

Vanessa’s tried. But it’s hard to make the point stick when her mom laughs off the idea of having a girlfriend, changing the subject a little too quickly. But hey, it’s better than her mom wanting to disown her. Vanessa will take it.

A knock on the door gets Vanessa out of her head and she hops off the counter to pull it open, as her mom sets the dishes on the table. The pastry box in Alexis’ hands makes Vanessa light up and she grabs it, bringing it to the table while Alexis follows her inside.

“Nice to see you, too, Vanj.” Alexis sits down across from her, sticking out her tongue.

Vanessa sticks hers out right back. “I saw you earlier today at our place, chill. Didn’t even have time to miss ya.”

Their mom, at the head of the table between them both, waves her hands. “Shh. Don’t ruin the family dinner ambiance.”

Alexis snickers. “As if we don’t get into at least two arguments every time we all have dinner together.”

The monthly dinners remind Vanessa of a simpler time when the three of them were always under one roof. Her mom would make an extra effort to get home from work on time, cook them something that they could all eat together rather than something for Alexis and Vanessa to reheat when they got home from school. It’s nice that no matter how old they get, the dinners have stayed the same. The dishes are the ones that Vanessa’s enjoyed since being a kid, ones that she’s tried to replicate in her own kitchen with little success. But at least she still gets to enjoy them now, as an adult, at her mom’s.

“Pass me the rice.” Alexis holds her hands out, wiggling her fingers, and Vanessa’s about to reach for the corningware before noticing the glinting on Alexis’ wrist.

“Where’s that bracelet from? Damn, Rob splurged. Good for him.” Vanessa has to admit, Rob doesn’t have bad taste. The bracelet on Alexis’ wrist is delicate, the stones on it sparkling under the light.

“It’s from dad.” The nonchalant tone of Alexis’ voice makes Vanessa’s fork clang harder on her plate than she intends it to.

She has to resist the urge to roll her eyes. “Really? He’s buying your love now? That’s what it’s come to?”

“Don’t be jealous that he’s buying me gifts and not you.” Alexis sniffs, before taking another sip of her drink. “At least I’m making an effort with him.”

“I’m not jeal-”

“Stubbornness doesn’t get you anywhere. He says he misses you, ‘cept you won’t give him the time of the day.” Alexis shrugs, and Vanessa can feel her hands balling into fists.

“‘Cause he doesn’t deserve it, that’s why.”

“Not that he’d want you around with that attitude anyway.” Alexis raises her eyebrows, and Vanessa’s seeing red, she really is, because fuck her sister-

Vanessa’s mom’s hand is up at her shoulders, blocking her from standing up before she can do so. “Don’t punch your sister.”

“I’m going.” Vanessa growls out, trying to scoot her chair back because she hates it, the smugness radiating off of Alexis for absolutely no reason. When she has nothing to be proud about.

“No you’re not. Sit down and eat your food.” Their mom looks tired as she takes a drink of her wine, nearly draining the glass.

Vanessa scowls. “How do you not care about this? Doesn’t it bother you?”

Because heaven knows, it bothers Vanessa. It doesn’t make sense, their dad wanting to connect now after not giving a shit for so long, and why is Alexis playing right into it? Why should their dad just get whatever he wants whenever it’s convenient for him?

Their mom sighs. “Because I am an adult, and so is Alexis. And so are you, if you’d mature a bit. It’s not a bad idea to give people second chances.”

“He’s not buying my affection back. Fuck that.” Vanessa crosses her arms. “How’d he even afford that bracelet, anyway? He’s never been the type to be financially stable.”

“If you’d ever talked with him, you’d know he’s turning his life around. He’s doing better.” Alexis’ smug tone is nauseating, enough to make Vanessa’s skin crawl.

It all sounds so fake, so put on. Like their dad’s trying hard to impress them and the fact that Alexis is buying into it? Pathetic, in Vanessa’s opinion.

She can do better. They all can. Not that Alexis seems to want to do so.

Vanessa’s brain feels like it’s floating inside of a dark cloud as she leaves her mother’s apartment with Alexis. The subway is only a few blocks away, but it feels so much longer to Vanessa while trying not to talk to her sister, as to not give her the satisfaction she wants. Because she knows Alexis thinks she’s in the right, and that she always is, as the older one. That Vanessa’s eventually going to give in and follow her advice.

Her phone buzzes as they wait at a busy intersection, and Vanessa almost misses the signal to cross when she sees the picture that pops up on her screen.

It’s a cat so fluffy that it’s reminiscent of a mountain lion, and Vanessa can’t help but squeal. Brooke’s mentioned her cats before but Vanessa’s never seen pictures of them, because she’d definitely remember such a sight.

The cat in the picture is stretched out on a couch, his paws up in the air as he sleeps. Vanessa hits the text notification that follows, trying to ignore the smile growing on her own face.

BLH: Henry’s as excited for our practice tomorrow as we are. His hands are already protecting his face.

VVM: WHY IS YOUR CAT SO CUTE

VVM: sorry no caps lock

VVM: but also yes caps lock

BLH: You should meet him and his brother sometime!

VVM: PLEASE

“Alexis? We should get a cat.” Vanessa nudges her sister as they descend the steps towards the subway.

Alexis rolls her eyes. “Oh, so you’re talking to me now?”

Vanessa doesn’t respond right away, in favour of looking at the second picture that pops up on her phone, the grey cat sleeping on Brooke’s coffee table. “Bet Rob would like one.”

“He already gets enough p-”

“Don’t complete that sentence, ew!” Vanessa pretends to dry heave as her sister cracks up, the ice that has been building up between them the entire evening breaking into pieces.

Vanessa knows Alexis and her will be fine because they always are, for how much they bicker. It would just be easier if neither of them were so stubborn. Not that Vanessa’s going to be the one to give in this time.

Brooke’s already in the gym when Vanessa pushes her way in the next morning, trying to hide the yawn behind her hand that betrays the fact that it’s 6:45 and the sun still hasn’t risen outside. Vanessa’s eyebrows push together when Brooke spins almost comically to face her, coffee in one hand and breakfast burrito in the other.

“Why are you so perky this morning?” Vanessa herself isn’t, that’s for sure. Not when she’s used to pressing snooze on her alarms until the last possible moment before she has to get up for work.

Brooke shrugs, though her energy is nervous, her foot tapping on the floor. “This is our first training session.”

“You’ve been training me for months.” Vanessa replies, raising an eyebrow as she does, and Brooke shrugs.

“Yeah, but this is the first actual session. I’m coaching you. Trying to get things into your brain.”

“You’ve done that plenty with your terrible singing. There’s no way I can get that belting out of my brain, ever.” Vanessa snickers, reaching out to pat Brooke’s shoulder as she pouts. “Kidding.”

“I’m a great singer. I got the gumption,” Brooke sniffs, “I can’t help it when Celine is on.”

“Is that why your workout playlist has so many ballads?”

Vanessa ducks out of the way when Brooke grumbles, reaching over to shove her shoulder. “Tell me why I should coach you again?”

“‘Cause I’m a delight, and you know it.” Vanessa grins, batting her eyelashes, and Brooke rolls her eyes.

“Go get changed, you delight. We have stuff to do.”

Vanessa pauses at the locker room doors once she’s in her workout clothes at the sight in front of her. There’s a mosaic of pages ripped out of notebooks scattered along the floor, interspersed with diagrams drawn on chart paper, all neatly arranged while Brooke sits in the middle.

“Wanna explain?” Vanessa’s not sure if Brooke hears her at first, from the way she’s furiously scribbling on the page in her lap, but then Brooke’s head comically bobs up as her fingers tap on her knee.

Brooke shifts in place. “Okay, so I didn’t exactly know where to start. I mean, I was thinking I could try and think back to how my dad used to coach me but that’s not a box worth opening right now, y’know? I mean I could, but repression is way more tempting. So then I was looking up coaching methods and what works for one person may not work for another, and then I started thinking about how I really didn’t know what style worked for you best and what would be the most effective way for us to collaborate and…” Brooke cuts herself off as she takes a breath, weakly pointing to the mess around her. “So we have this.”

Vanessa whistles, crouches down beside Brooke while trying not to rustle any of the papers. “There’s a lot to untangle here.”

“We can’t go wrong with being too prepared, right? At least we can try everything and then maybe one thing is going to work and I’ll actually be useful as a coach.” Brooke shrugs sheepishly.

“What are you out here talking about, useful as a coach? You’re plenty useful. Look at how much I’ve improved over the last few months.” Vanessa throws a look at Brooke, who for once, looks slightly self conscious, from the way she fiddles with her sleeves. “You’re telling me our practices together haven’t made a difference in my fighting skills?”

“Maybe a little,” Brooke admits, “but how do you know any of it was me? You’re taking classes at the same time, you’re building that muscle memory. That plays a big part.”

“And how would I build muscle memory if it wasn’t for our practices?” Brooke looks unconvinced, so Vanessa carries on. “Look. I ain’t asking you ‘cause I think you’re an Olympic champion boxer, or anything like that. I’m asking you ‘cause you know your shit and you can handle me in the gym and know how to get me to cool down. I need that.”

Vanessa thinks back to their last practice, when all Brooke had to do was hand Vanessa a granola bar to give her some sugar and Vanessa found herself able to focus, less frustrated during their drills. It’s almost like Brooke is learning the little parts of her that don’t necessarily come up in conversation, more so the ones that only become obvious when you truly pay attention.

She nudges Brooke’s side. “I don’t care if you haven’t coached before. I’ve never been a boxer before any of this shit. You think I know what I’m doing? I don’t care if you don’t know what you’re doing.”

“Okay, but I really, really, don’t know what I’m doing-”

Vanessa shrugs. “Well then, we make a good team. If we’re gonna do this blindly, at least we’ve got each other for the journey.”

Brooke gathers up some of the papers around her, holding them out in front of Vanessa. “We won’t be doing it completely blindly, though, I was thinking we could try out methods that are evidence based and see what works the best and what leads to carryover-”

“I don’t know why you’re bringing up some academic shit right now, in a gym of all places, but what we’re gonna do is try shit until something sticks.” Vanessa grabs the pile of papers in Brooke’s hands, smoothes them out.

Brooke snorts. “That’s basically what I said.”

“Be less boring about it, then.”

It’s enough to get Brooke smiling, though, reducing the nervous energy that is radiating off of her in waves. “Get your gear on. We’re going to get to work.”

“That’s more like it.”

And so it begins. Vanessa’s alarm clock is set an hour and a half earlier every morning, the sun rising in tandem with her body heat during her first workout of each day. Brooke doesn’t pull any punches with the conditioning routines that she drafts every morning - Vanessa had thought in the past that Kameron was bad with the cardio and strength outside of the ring, but Brooke’s making her feel like she’s a beginner again, from how much her muscles are complaining with every move she makes.

Take today, for example. The circuit that Brooke’s written out on her clipboard is torturous, positively torturous, and Vanessa knows that she has to get through it eight times, but she’s only on her third round and she’s already about to collapse, never to get up again. She wipes the sweat off of her forehead before resting her hands on her knees, bending over in half to try and catch her breath, before Brooke’s voice behind her rings like a bell.

“Mountain climbers, let’s go! No stopping.”

“Bitch, do you want me to die?” Vanessa pants out as she gets on all fours nonetheless, her arms shaking as she presses her palms into the ground.

“No. But what I don’t want is for your endurance to putter out during a match at the worst time. You’re gonna have to build it, and not only that, but learn to push through when it feels like you can’t.”

Maybe if Vanessa wasn’t currently dripping sweat onto the mats below her, her arms about to give out, then she’d be moved by the almost poetic words. But she’s too out of breath to care, especially when all she can focus on as she stands back up is the way her legs feel like jelly and her arms like anchors that are about to break off.

Brooke’s look is sympathetic as Vanessa rolls out her shoulders, preparing to do her set of burpees next. “It’s not always going to be this difficult. Your body is going to build and build and build that strength and endurance and soon, you’ll be able to do all of it without breaking a sweat.”

Vanessa has to pause as she crouches down to shoot Brooke a look. “See, I’d believe that, pants on fire, if you weren’t making the circuits longer and more intense every damn session. How’s it gonna get easier if you keep upping the difficulty?”

“You haven’t died yet, have you?” Brooke sips on her iced coffee almost languidly, not a hair out of place, and Vanessa has to hold back a grumble.

She’s going to kill Brooke one of these days, she really is, if Brooke doesn’t kill her with these workouts first.

But Vanessa does trust Brooke, and so keeps pushing herself, follows each routine as best as she can and not skipping reps if she can help it. Sure, she can’t move her muscles without pain, and Silky and A’keria look at her funny even though she swears that her waddling isn’t because she’s getting some good dick, she’s just working out, that’s all, but…it’s worth it. It has to be worth it, Vanessa isn’t going to allow herself to believe anything else. She’s pushing her body to the limit for a purpose, and that purpose is to kick some ass in a boxing ring and feel good about it.

That’s what Vanessa tells herself at least, as more and more of her hours not spent at work become dedicated to training, going for massages for her sore muscles, and watching old boxing matches instead of Netflix whenever Brooke gives her boxers to research. It doesn’t feel like it’s a drastic change because it’s still fun to Vanessa, pushing her in ways that she’s never expected.

A’keria gives Vanessa an apprehensive look, though, when she hides one too many yawns behind her palm one day at work. She’s not necessarily falling asleep as she does the client’s makeup, but her morning workout today had been more grueling than usual, and having to stand for hours on end at the moment isn’t doing her sore limbs any favours.

“Can I ask you something, Vanj?” A’keria’s eyes remain on the client in front of her, the comb in between her fingers expertly parting the woman’s hair.

Vanessa squints her eyes as she blends the shadows on her client’s crease, trying to get both eyes to match. “Yeah, what?”

“Why are you doing all of this? The boxing, the gym?” A’keria looks up at Vanessa, the motions of her hands stalled. “What’s the point?”

“Didn’t I tell you at the beginning? Alexis made me so I’d stop blowing up in her face.” It may be the short answer, Vanessa knows, but it works for now.

A’keria sighs, and her eyes are too knowing, too willing to look into Vanessa’s soul. “Sure, I get a couple of classes here and there. But you’re running yourself ragged.”

Vanessa scoffs. “Am not.”

Because she’s not. It’s just what she needs to do, and how’s she going to get anywhere if she doesn’t? The next tournament is coming up soon, and if she does well in this one at the higher level then hey, maybe she can compete even more regularly and maybe have a proper match and-

“Just promise me that you’re taking care of yourself. And I don’t want an empty promise of you just nodding your head and saying yes, Kiki, I will, I want an actual promise that you’re gonna put yourself first.” A’keria points her comb towards Vanessa and she feels like she’s five, being reprimanded by her kindergarten teacher.

“I am putting myself first. Have you seen my guns? That’s self love, baby.” Vanessa flexes her bicep, pretends to give it a kiss and it’s worth it when the client in front of Vanessa lets out a giggle, and even more so when A’keria rolls her eyes.

“Tell me why I still care about your stupid ass.”

Vanessa doesn’t miss a beat. “‘Cause you love me.”

“Somehow.” A’keria mutters, turning back towards her model. “But if you don’t take care of yourself while doing this boxing nonsense, I’m gonna have to whoop your ass.”

“Duly noted.” Vanessa snickers, and it’s enough for A’keria, whose frown lines smooth out between her eyebrows. “Didn’t know you were so worried ‘bout me.”

A’keria shoots her a look. “Why wouldn’t I be? You’re one of my best friends. And who else would listen to me griping about my man? You think Silky pays any attention to anything but Jerry Springer on the TV?”

“You’ve got a point there. So, update me,” Vanessa leans towards A’keria, a conspiratorial tone in her voice, “are y’all back together yet? Or are you still leaving him on read for exactly seventy two hours before texting him back? Which, by the way, makes no sense as a strategy.”

“It’s kept him for this long, hasn’t it?” A’keria shrugs her shoulders, a proud smile playing on her lips. “He always comes back. It’s like I have him on a rubber band that always snaps back into place. Never fails.”

“That makes no damn sense, and you know it. But men never do.”

Vanessa’s glad she’s not with a guy for now. She’s always found it so confusing, with the games and the signals that inevitably get crossed and the misunderstandings and it’s much easier, really, hearing about it secondhand from her friends.

Not that being interested in girls can be any better, from what she notices at their next practice before the next tournament. Vanessa had her session with Brooke in the morning and she’s back now hours later in the gym, a place that she feels like she never leaves anymore, curled up on a bench in the locker room and watching the scene that’s unfolding in front of her.

To any ordinary bystander, this scenario would be representative of any millennials - a girl swiping through Tinder with her friends providing commentary beside her. But what Vanessa really sees is Monique showing off the various pictures that pop up on her phone, while remaining completely oblivious to Monet sulking on the bench that is perpendicular to her. Sulking may be a stretch, but Vanessa can tell that the force with which Monet tugs on the zipper of her gym bag isn’t typical - it’s a sign that she’s unhappy with the situation.

“What about this girl? She put a quote from Shark Tale in her bio. And she lives on the east side. Imma swipe right.” Monique holds up her phone, and the brunette on her screen is cute, yes, but Monet’s shoulders slump a little and it becomes just a little bit harder to react in a blase way.

“Uh, yeah. Super cute. Love that.” Vanessa gives Monet a thumbs up, and she can feel Asia’s elbow in her side because of how unconvincing she is but hey, she’s trying.

She scoots down slightly on the bench, leans over to whisper. “What do you expect me to even say?”

“I dunno, but flashing a thumbs up ain’t gonna do the trick.” Asia mutters under her breath, jerking her head towards Monet, who’s begun to braid her hair with a scowl on her face.

Vanessa shrugs her shoulders, trying to keep her voice from exploding as much as it wants to. “So what the hell do we do?”

“What do you mean, what do we do? We don’t do anything because they’re adults, and they can sort it out themselves.” Asia’s look is pointed, one that Vanessa delicately chooses to ignore.

“We can’t do that. They’ll be miserable. Neither of them even realizes how much they like each other, and they’ll just keep doing this stupid dance.” Vanessa chances a glance towards Monique, who’s slowly lowering her phone back towards herself after Monet turns away with a curt nod. “This is ridiculous.”

Asia sighs. “You think they’re gonna hear a word we say? Hey, dumbasses, you both have a crush on your best friend, spoiler alert, it’s each other. They’re gonna tell us that we’re being silly and they’ll be in even more denial.”

Vanessa bites her lip, because the jealousy that’s radiating off of Monet is hard to miss, except apparently for Monique, who shuts off her phone and sighs as she stands up. “Ugh. You’re right. Doesn’t make this shit easier to watch.”

Vanessa keeps an eye on them throughout the class, nearly catching a jab in the face from Asia in the process. Monet and Monique seem to be back to their normal selves, bickering as they practice their drills but Vanessa doesn’t miss the lingering glance from Monet as Monique fills up her water bottle, or the way that Monique opens up her mouth to say something, eyes wide, as they finish an exercise before abruptly closing it. Vanessa feels like she’s watching a movie where she just wants to yell at the main characters to kiss already, except it’s two of her friends who should be together but are only now beginning to realize how much they like each other.

“Don’t do it.” Brooke’s holding back a smile at her desk when Vanessa falls into the chair across from her once the class is over, after regaling Brooke with Monique and Monet’s situation.

“Not doing anything. But I want to.” Vanessa slouches in her seat, resting her cheek on her palm. “Those two clowns are perfect for each other. Hell, I thought they were already together when I first started here.”

It’s not a lie. Vanessa remembers the way that Monique and Monet would always finish each other’s sentences, and be holding on to each other in some form or another. They still do, though Vanessa does notice more hesitancy lately in the way they reach out, more tentativeness in their words.

Brooke shakes her head, leaning forward on her desk. “You have to let them work it out themselves. Forcing something between them when neither of them seems fully ready is only going to lead to a mess.”

“You say that as if we’re all not already a mess.”

Brooke snorts. “True. You most of all.”

“Rude-”

“Kidding.”

“Good, you better be.” Vanessa sniffs, though she can’t keep a straight face for long, not when Brooke’s already holding back a laugh.

Brooke shrugs, thumbing through a pile of papers on the corner of her desk before pulling one from the stack, turning it towards Vanessa. The flyer for the upcoming tournament is a bit of an eyesore with the neon colours, but Vanessa tries to ignore the attempts at graphic design as Brooke points at the upcoming date. “Isn’t the tournament that you all signed up for coming up soon, anyway? It’s at least a three hour drive to get there. Maybe the two of them will talk it out during the ride.”

“Or they’ll ignore the huge elephant in the room and just pretend like absolutely nothing is going on.” Vanessa shrugs. “I feel like it could go either way.”

“Sooner or later, they’ll reach a point where they have no choice but to confront it. And when they do, they’ll see what’s been in front of them this whole time.” Brooke leans back in her own seat, and Vanessa can’t help but raise an eyebrow.

“That’s somehow the sappiest thing I’ve ever heard you say. Are you a secret romantic?”

Brooke makes a face. “Most definitely not. I’ll take a comedy over watching something like The Notebook any day.”

Vanessa’s mouth drops open. “You take that back. That’s my favourite movie!”

“The Notebook? Really? You can’t call me sappy if that’s your favourite. Do you cry every time you watch it, too?”

“Maybe?” Vanessa raises her hands in surrender. “I can’t help it! It just tugs on the heartstrings.”

“Why watch it if it just makes you sad?” Brooke has confusion written across her face, and Vanessa has to pause while she thinks of an answer.

“I dunno. It’s sad but it’s a good sad, y’know? The kind that makes you feel something ‘cause even if there’s loss they still had so much love, and those moments are the ones that make everything else worth going through.”

Vanessa can’t help the longing in her voice because as silly as it sounds, she wants something like that. Something worth fighting for. Maybe it’s cliche, maybe it’s the thoughts of a teenage Vanessa from all those years ago who’d watched the movie for the very first time, but she still wants that feeling.

But who knows. Teenage Vanessa had also wanted a perm back in the day, and that had been a mess that had taken years to grow out.

“You’re the secret romantic between the two of us.” Brooke tilts her head and Vanessa shrugs, because she can’t deny it, not really.

“Who said it was a secret? I got taste between the two of us.” Vanessa can’t help but snicker at Brooke’s mock offended face.

“Just for that, we’re starting half an hour earlier tomorrow for training.”

Vanessa though, is unperturbed. “Liar. You hate waking up early as it is. I know you too well.”

“Maybe.” But the way Brooke’s eyes are glimmering, the way she has a grin of her own, somehow makes Vanessa want to know her even more.

[secretlittlerandezvous]

Parting The Ways - Jake Debrusk

Summary: Jake breaks up with the reader. The breakup takes a hard toll on them and they’re unable to move on. David Pastrnak and his girlfriend Rebecca plan a way to make Jake and Y/n meet again and to ease the pain.

Words: 2096

Jake took a deep breath and gathered all the courage and strength that was left in him to finally say the words he had on his mind for a while now. “I think we should break up.” He whispered.

Y/n nodded and nervously played with the ring on her finger and as she looked down at her hand, she tried to fight back the tears so he wouldn’t see them. “Maybe we should.” She agreed although it wasn’t what she thought. But she wanted to make it easier for him. It was just something that came naturally to her to help him and to make everything as easy as possible for him and even know when he was breaking up with her, she couldn’t help it.

Y/n wanted to kiss him goodbye one last time, but she couldn’t, and he expected to get a kiss too but understood why she couldn’t do so. He couldn’t wrap his hand around her waist, and she couldn’t bear to look at him for any longer than a few seconds. They stood in front of each other for a few minutes in complete silence and neither one of them wanted to leave because they knew it would be the last time, they see each other.

...

Y/n was in her bed staring out of the window watching the sun rising slowly but surely. She occasionally heard her phone ringing somewhere in the distance, but she couldn’t care less about it and she certainly didn’t want to bother with getting up and answering the phone to whoever was disturbing her this early. She couldn’t move or speak anyway and after crying all night she couldn’t even cry. All that she could do was to stare out of that window thinking about all the people who were in the same situation as her feeling just as lonely and heartbroken. Her body was in pain, aching so overwhelmingly that she felt herself getting number with each second. Y/n tried to close her eyes and get some much-needed sleep but whenever she closed her eyes, she saw his face and heard him say “we should break up” over and over again. The memory of yesterday broke her heart a little more each time she thought about it. She was filled with loneliness and her mind traveled back to him whenever she stopped focusing on something else. His face, his smile, his voice, and his arms spread wide open for her to hide inside them. Y/n missed everything about him. The weight of reality sat on her small shoulders and the whole situation was becoming confusing to her. She knew Jake and she knew that at one point he did love her, and they were once a happy couple. And that’s why she couldn’t figure out why it ended so suddenly.

The bed was exceptionally empty without him there now when she knew he wouldn’t come home eventually and lay down next to her. Y/n looked over at the side where he always slept and grabbed the pillow. She held it tightly to her chest and buried her face in it taking in the smell of his cologne that still lingered on it. Her mind wandered back to him again and she started hoping he would call and come around to tell her he was wrong and that he wants her to forget everything he said. She didn’t feel like herself at all because the happy girl who was madly in love was gone and instead, she became a total wreck. All she wished for was to melt into the sheets and disappear to be free from all the pain and confusion.

The following weeks passed quickly and Y/n felt like she was slowly becoming able to leave the house for longer than a few hours to go work and she stopped avoiding all her friends she previously pushed away because of the fear of having to explain the breakup and she didn’t want to face the sympathetic looks and motivational speeches and useless advices. She knew she had to get over it by herself but god it was hard. There were moments when she forgot all about him and had fun and laughed and smiled without him. She experienced moments where she was so happy that it seemed like her heart would burst. But then she heard his name or saw a post about him because he scored, she saw his picture and all the pain came back as if it never left. And she cried for a week straight, every night until the early hours of the morning. She cried because she missed him because she was angry at him and whenever she went out for a walk every corner reminded her of him. Y/n tortured herself by looking at their pictures and wore his shirt to bed almost every night and she was not willing to throw away all his stuff he left at her place or all the gifts he gave her. Everyone advised her to do so but she refused. Y/n wanted to keep it as a reminder that everything they had truly happened.

Now she was able to look back at their relationship and she realized there were signs that things weren’t quite alright, but she was a fool and didn’t notice them right away. Small hints and signs she ignored because she thought they weren’t important. She was so in love with him that in her eyes everything was perfect and nothing bad could possibly happen between them. Now she felt stupid and her heart was shattered to tiniest little pieces. Insecurities and doubts took over her and messed with her head. Was she ever loved by him? Maybe she never had his heart and it was all just a beautiful dream or a foolish idea to think a guy like him could love her. But whenever things started getting bad again, she caught herself, kept her mind busy and she knew she would be okay one day. Y/n understood that repairing from so much pain and from all the bruises would take a while, she knew she lost a piece of herself when she lost him, and she kept hoping that in time he would be out of her mind for good.

Jake although he felt pretty much the same, he kept his cool and focused on hockey even more than usual. He spent every free second at the ice rink or at the gym where he let out his anger and pain. The boys asked no question as they were aware of what happened, and they decided it was only for the best to let Jake take his times and because they knew he would open up eventually by himself without the unnecessary pressure.

When Jake woke up in the mornings, he had no sense of time and space. His eyes were fixated on the picture hanging on the wall right in front of him - the picture of him and her at their friend’s wedding. His eyes felt heavy and he felt a pain in his chest as if someone stabbed him in the heart and repeated it every once in a while. His hands and legs were sore from the excessive workouts he was doing every day to keep himself busy and he felt like not moving for the rest of the day. Staying in bed seemed like a much better idea although he refused to do so for most days as he believed that working hard was better for him than crying. He released his anger and pain through the hard work and as a bonus he got to practice a bit more than usual. Somewhere in the distance, his phone buzzed but he didn’t even acknowledge it and decided it was one of the boys anyway making sure he was alright.

Jake was drowning in his own thoughts for the past few days, always coming back to the night he and Y/n parted their ways and cursed himself forever saying the words out loud. He himself couldn’t understand why it even crossed his mind and what led him to make such a decision but at that moment it felt right to him. He knew how hard it was for her to deal with being apart all the time, how sad she was when he canceled dates because he was too tired although she always insisted that it was okay. He knew he wanted to make anything he could to make her happy and that’s why he probably decided it was only for the best to break up with her. She could walk free, stop stressing about everything, and though Jake couldn’t imagine seeing her with anyone else it was a chance for her to find someone else. Someone who would have more time for her and could be with her whenever she wanted or needed. Maybe he should’ve been a little more selfish and keep her no matter what.

When he wasn’t on the ice or at the gym he usually went out with the guys and he drunk until the early hours of the morning to forget all about her. However soon he realized it was just making things wrong especially when he caught himself turning around and opening his mouth to tell her something. She was never there and that broke his heart. He noticed her absence a little more when he was with people and he saw her in crowds and heard her voice calling his name on the street. Sometimes he woke up in the middle of the night and intuitively reached out for her only to find out her side of the bed was empty. And it was a big mystery to him if he would ever get over her.

...

Jake and Y/n reunited together at David’s birthday party. Neither one of them planned to go if the other would be there but after they were assured that wouldn’t happen, they agreed on going. Rebecca, David’s girlfriend invented Y/n promising her that David and the boys will celebrate later, and this was just a little party she was throwing for him. Jake on the other hand was invited and assured by David as well as Charlie and Matt who confirmed everything David promised. “Don’t worry Jake it’ll be just us,” David said dozens of times and eventually Jake started to believe him.

In reality, the group planned this. It was the only way they could get Jake and Y/n to the same spot and force them to talk to each other. Everyone noticed how heartbroken they were and even people who knew them shortly could tell that the two belonged together. No one understood the sudden break up as they always seemed to be madly in love and they never heard any complaints. So, David’s upcoming birthday seemed like the perfect occasion to invite the two, make them go out, and hopefully mend their hearts and save their relationship.

“Since it’s my birthday and I should get everything I ask for,” David started his speech, and everyone gathered in the living room to listen to him. “I would like to ask my buddy Jake and this amazing girl Y/n to finally talk together because we are all tired of listening to your constant whining.” Everyone in the room laughed while Jake seemed embarrassed and Y/n went to gather all her stuff and quickly ran to the door.

“Y/n wait!” Jake called behind her and followed her outside the building where he found her standing by the sidewalk and wiping away the tears. “He was right. Everyone except me was right.”

“What do you mean?” She whispered and looked up at Jake bravely though it hurt to do so.

“The breakup? It was bullshit and I shouldn’t have said that. I regret it from the second I said the words out loud!” Jake admitted and grabbed Y/n shaking hands into his. “I was so wrong baby, and I know that. I thought you would be better off without me but I can’t stand the thought of not having you.”

“Oh Jake,” Y/n cried out and smiled immediately after that. “I love you. You don’t deserve it but I love you.” She laughed.

“I know I don’t, and I promise if you give me a chance, I will do better.”

“Take me home then,” Y/n said and hugged Jake tightly.

He did the same and as he planted a kiss on her forehead he whispered, “Let’s go then.”

[turquoise-stones]

Edge of Insanity Pt. 2: Talk to Me

yandere!Todoroki x fem!reader

Previous Chapter

. . .

"And tonight's homework will be to read the next two chapters. Oh and don't forget the comprehension questions too!"

The bell rang and you jolted up, completely disoriented before you realized that you must have dozed off in class.

"Ah and there's the bell. Class dismissed."

Your classmates started packing, and excited chattering filled the room. You sat there tiredly for a second, blinking numbly before gathering your materials. Your muscles were already feeling sore from your workout earlier today, and you were just so exhausted. But as much as you wanted to just go home to your safe warm bed, your part time job required your presence.

"(Y/n)!" Uraraka called, already up and ready to go. "We're gonna go study after school together. Want to come?"

"No thank you!" You called back, a little disappointed that you couldn't go but happy that she cared to ask. "I'm busy, sorry!"

She gave you a sad pout before waving goodbye and exiting the classroom with the group of friends you had sat with at lunch.

You made your way to your locker, briefly entertaining the idea of calling in sick to work before deciding resolutely that such a thought was solely motivated by laziness. Glancing around quickly, you made sure that a certain… "distasteful person" wasn't lurking around before sorting away all the books you wouldn't need that night. Closing the locker door, you shut the lock and pulled your backpack on…

"(Y/n)."

You practically jolted out of your skin. Whipping your head in the speaker's direction, you were more than ready to escape. But instead you were pleasantly surprised by a pair of sleepy purple eyes instead of the steely gray ones you were expecting.

"Christ… Shinsou don't do that, you scared me!" You sighed, placing a hand over your suddenly racing heart to calm it. You realized that he must of been hidden behind your locker door.

"Mm sorry." He grumbled, not looking especially apologetic. "I was walking by and wanted to check in on you."

"Oh." You said nervously. Much like earlier today, you weren't sure how to talk to him. "I'm doing fine."

"Really?" He raised an eyebrow at you and suddenly you wondered if something was up. You nodded as sincerely as you could at him.

"Cause I saw you… chatting with Inomata."

You froze at the name, but kept your mouth shut. Inching away, you tried to leave the conversation but Shinsou merely followed you.

"Don't think I don't remember what happened."

You cringed, trying to suppress the feelings and thoughts pouring into your head. "If this is your idea of 'checking up' then you and I have a problem…" you hissed.

"Listen, (y/n). And stop walking so fast." You stopped to glare up at him. What did he even want? To dig up the past you tried so hard to leave behind? To make fun of you? To embarrass you?

"I just want to give you a piece of advice alright?"

You squinted up at him in confusion, biting back your anger. Advice? On what? His appearance softened a bit and he let out a sigh.

"I know you worked so hard to get to this class to escape her. But running from our old class won't stop her from hurting you, you know."

You bit your lip, recognizing the fact that you were still in denial. It did hurt to hear him say it though. "That's not even advice…" you grumbled.

He rolled his eyes but continued on. "I'm not going to say I have a solution for you cause I don't. But I guess… if an issue arises, I'm here to help you."  He said, dead serious, before he seemed to process his own words and turn a little pink.

The conversation had definitely not gone in the direction you thought it would. You sputtered for a moment before taking a calming breath, letting your anger dissipate.

"Thank you Shinsou. I appreciate that… I really do."

He nodded, face serious again. Giving him a slight smile, you were about to leave before he coughed to stop you.

"Also… I'm sorry. For not helping you back then."

Now that was surprising. You had thought that Shinsou was completely ambivalent to you, but here he was admitting his guilt. Maybe in apologizing, he was clearing his conscience more than he was trying to make amends with you.

"It's alright Shinsou. There's nothing you could have done." Giving him a sad smile, you left with a small wave, knowing full well that that wasn't the answer he was looking for.

. . .

"Fuck I'm late."

You trundled along, sprinting off the bus and winding your way up the library steps, knowing that your excursion with Shinsou had made you more than a couple minutes late. Steadying your breath, you went in to find your boss and manager, Ms. Youko.

"Hi Ms. Youko, sorry I'm late!"

The lady in question merely waved away your apology, giving you that endearing old woman smile.

"No worries no worries Miss (y/n). I'm glad you're here. Oh goodness, catch your breath now. You must have run a long way!"

You let out a breathy laugh and nodded in agreement, feeling so grateful that Ms. Youko was always so kind.

"So today I need you to…

With Ms. Youko's instructions in mind, you weaved your way through the bookshelves, feeling more at peace than ever. You normally didn't get assigned to this section of the library, but either way you were calmed. Something about the undisturbed rows of books, the muffled noises, or maybe the familiar old book scent just made you feel so safe and secure.

A cold breeze curled past you and you heard the whoosh of the library door closing, followed by friendly chattering. Peeking around the corner, you spotted Urakaka and her group of friends coming in. No way… did they actually choose here of all places for that study session? Spotting your movement, Tsuya's eyes widened happily and she waved, and suddenly all eyes were on you.

"Oh hello (y/n)!" Midoriya called (or as loudly as one could call in a library). "What're you doing here?"

Ashamed that you were caught peeking, you reluctantly made your way over, and were greeted by many hellos. It wasn't that you didn't want to see them, it was just a bit embarrassing to be seen at work by your… friends. Were they your friends?

"Hi guys… I'm not- well, I work here."

"Ooh I see!" Midoriya said excitedly before Urakaka interrupted, bounding forward to inspect your librarian lanyard. "Ooh so you have a part time job? That's cool! I should get one too…"

"Ah, that's very becoming of a hero!" Iida announced. "Time management and hard work are both very essential."

Tsuya nodded happily in agreement, and you were overwhelmed by their excitement to see you.

"I wonder how I've never noticed you before." A thoughtful voice came out from behind the huddle of people, and you realized that you hadn't noticed Todoroki hidden in the back. He looked good without his blazer on.

"Oh yeah huh, you always come here after school don't you Todoroki?" Urakaka asked.

"I normally work in the kid's section," you explained, "so I guess it makes sense that I haven't seen you before. Or any of you." You added hastily.

"Well anyways, we shouldn't distract you from your work." Iida said sternly, nudging them away from you.

"Wait wait wait wait!" Urakaka rushed out, swatting away Iida's hand. "When do you get off work (y/n)?"

"Umm…" you glanced at the clock. "In about two hours. Why?"

"Let's all go out to a cafe or something!" The others chimed in with affirmations.

"O-oh. That sounds nice." You said softly. Uraraka and co. beamed at you (some beamed more strongly than others) before Iida ushered them away.

. . .

"I'm surprised they let you transfer so late." Midoriya said thoughtfully. It was a couple hours later, and you found yourself squeezed in a bakery booth with everyone, with a cup of coffee you were sure you didn't buy placed in front of you.

"Me too honestly…" you replied. "I had to go through so many tests and so much training… but I'm here now."

"Did you ask to transfer? Or did they nominate you or something?" Ochako asked, before taking a sip of her drink and casually propping her elbow on the table.

"I asked. But my teacher said that asking wasn't enough and that I had to prove that I'm… um… class A material."

"From what I could tell when we sparred today, you definitely are." Tsuya ribbited out. You gave her a thankful smile. From what you could tell so far, Tsuya was honest in the best way possible.

"You asked? You can do that?!" Midoriya asked excitedly, bumping into you and startling you. Uraraka brushed down his excitement and the buzzing chattering rose up as everyone started theorizing about class switching criteria.

Todoroki tried his best to keep his mind focused on the conversation but his thoughts were definitely directed elsewhere. He wouldn't classify himself as easily bothered, but he was acutely aware of the way your arm kept rubbing against his, and the way your knee softly knocked into his thigh whenever Midoriya bumped into you. And being next to the wall, he couldn't very well move away. He knew it wasn't your fault that all six of you decided to squeeze into a booth definitely made for four, but good god you were just so close.

He couldn't understand why he was so damn infatuated. Being around Uraraka or Tsuya didn't affect him this way. Was it because you were pretty? Was this an issue of him being shallow? Or was it just because you were new? You laughed softly next to him, and a warm tingle threatened to spread to his cheeks. He just wanted to bury his face in his hands and release a frustrated groan. But of course he couldn't, so he just sat there quietly fuming.

...and well, the class environment was very toxic as well."

Todoroki let out a small sound of confusion as he snapped back into reality.

"Everyone was so competitive… and they tried to be the best and just pulled each other down."

"Oh no that's awful… I didn't know general studies was like that." Uraraka said sadly.

"What do you mean by 'pull each other down?'" Iida asked.

"Um… there was a lot of talking behind people's backs, no one was really friends with anyone else, and sometimes people fought…" your voice trailed off as you tried not to dredge up too many bad memories.

"Fought? Like physically?" Midoriya asked, completely shocked by the ugly truth that you had revealed. The whole group was rather shocked that general studies was so vastly different from their class.

"No… no. But there are much worse ways of harming than physically..." You said softly, and Todoroki couldn't help but notice your voice catching at the last couple words.  

"What… does that mean?" He asked quietly, and you looked at him with surprise. He has been a bit quiet during the conversation and you had thought he was tuning you out.

"Um… sometimes-" you were abruptly cut off by a loud ringing. Jumping, you turned around to see Iida whipping his phone out of his pocket. He made a couple quick remarks while everyone watched curiously.

Hanging up, he said, "I'm sorry everyone, I'm afraid I have to get going now." Uraraka stood up to let him out of the booth, but hesitated when she went to sit down again.

"Hm… wait up I'll go with you too since we take the same bus." Grabbing their backpacks, the two of them readied to go.

"Bye guys! It was nice meeting you today (y/n)! See you all tomorrow!"

"Yes, it was a pleasure to meet you (y/n). Get home safe everyone, goodbye!"

You waved them goodbye, a little sad to see them go. Uraraka had been your safety net the entire day, and it was the first time you were with your classmates without her around. But nonetheless, the conversation continued, before Tsuya left to get home from dinner, followed closely by Midoriya. If Uraraka was your safety net then Midoriya was your backup, and now they were both gone, leaving you alone with Todoroki.

An awkward silence settled between the two of you after Midoriya left, and you took the opportunity to drink a bit of the coffee you hadn't touched yet. The two of you were awkwardly close, next to each other in the booth, and you wondered if it would be rude to scoot away into the space Midoriya had freed up.

"Ah it's gone cold…" you said sadly.

"Are you a big coffee drinker?" He asked. Now that he didn't need to be heard across the table, his voice had quieted.

"Mm no… I'm more of a tea person, to be honest."

"Me too," he said, leaning his back against the wall to face you better. The sun was starting to set, casting a warm orange haze of light onto your face. "It's the only thing that keeps me alive in the morning."

"That's very relatable!" You laughed, "I need that caffeine… or maybe I just need more sleep."

Small talk was never your strong suit and neither was it his, and the conversation trailed off again. You wanted to talk to him, you wanted to know him better, but your shyness and awkwardness were creeping up on you.

"(Y/n)... you didn't finish your sentence earlier."

"Hm?"

"When I asked you what was wrong?"

Did he ask you what was wrong? You couldn't quite remember what he had said when Iida's phone rang. There were things that were wrong of course, but nothing that you felt comfortable sharing with him yet.

"Nothings wrong." You said quietly. His eyebrow twitched upwards in disbelief and a small frown tugged at his lips. He looked so concerned that for a split second you wanted to suddenly spill everything to him, but he was still practically a stranger to you.

"...are you lying?"

You were caught off guard by his question. He stared at you unwaveringly, and your mind raced for the correct answer. You must have spoken too freely earlier or he caught on to something you said. Either way, the casual nature of the conversation had suddenly to something more personal. What was up with him? What was he trying to get at? Why did he even care?

"I…"

Something about him made you want to trust him.

"I am." You practically whispered out. The two of you looked at each other for a long moment before you abruptly scooted away, stuttering out some excuse about needing to get home. Grabbing your bag, you shot out the door with the faintest goodbye.

. . .

Todoroki sat there trying to collect his thoughts, staring at the practically untouched cup of coffee you left behind. He didn't know what compelled him to press you. Of course, he felt guilty for making you run away like that, but he knew you were probably just overwhelmed.

He mulled over what you said--you had confided a hint of something tragic to him. Your expression was just so sad and so lost… and after living with his father for so many years, he had come to recognize the tired ache in the eyes of those who were in pain.

. . .

You could smell the smoke from your front porch and it only worsened when you stepped inside. You would've thought you'd be used to its nauseating scent by now but it burned your lungs.

Flicking on the lights, you wandered into the kitchen, grabbing some crackers for dinner. You didn't really have the energy to cook.

Trudging up the stairs, you passed your mother's room, where the smoke seemed to seep out of the cracks in the door. Her loose, drunken laughter echoed outwards, along with the voice of a man you didn't recognize. You jumped as glass shattered, followed by delirious shrieking and cursing.

You didn't want to listen anymore. You pushed into your room, closing the door behind you and collapsing onto your bed. You wished that your mom would ask you how your day had been. You wished that you could tell her about this boy you had met today. You wished that you had someone to talk to. Your muscles ached and your eyelids were heavy... it had been a long day.

Next Chapter

[btssunnyboy]

And They Were Roommates - Jeon Jungkook

Just a few little blurbs about being roommates!

Word Count- 1,870

Warning- honesty just profanity and maybe a few awkward moments.

My request are open darlings!

Masterlist

———————————————————————

MY SHOWERS BROKEN, SO MOVE OVER

The thought of having that soothing, warm water cascade down your body was huge motivation to get out of bed. Even though the soft blankets smothered you in the same feeling, you needed to wash away the previous day’s pain. After having discarded the matching pajamas set, you wrapped the fluffy towel around your body. In a hurried pace you whipped open the bathroom door.

“Oh no!” You protested while giving a harsh shove to Jungkook’s chest. This was you bathroom, what the hell was he doing here! “Get out!”

Jungkook held back at laugh at your desperate form. His eyes traveled up and down your body and watched with even more amusement when you tried to cover up. Instead of leaving the room like a decent human being, Jungkook began reaching into the shower and letting the steam fill the room. When he turned his body back towards you, he bunny like smile was shinning even brighter. “I think I’ll stay. Besides my hot water isn’t working.”

“Oh my fucking god, that’s the fourth time in two weeks!” You whined and ran a hand through your hair. An over exaggerated huff passed though your lips while you continued to glare at the boy.

A suggestive smirk overtook his features when his eyes shifted between you and the scolding hot water. “You know, you could always join me. I mean we’d be saving water.”

You felt your eyes widen in disbelief, and you slowly backed out of the room. The thought of being that close in proximity to him made your body shutter. Begrundly , slamming the door shut you turned around and shouted though it, “Don’t use up all the hot water you Jackass.”

“My offer still stands princess, you know I could always use some help to wash my back!” He suggestively spoke.

“Jungkook, I’m going to physically heave, shut the hell up!”

—

ALARMCLOCK MADNESS

It was like clockwork, both figuratively and literally, when it came to Jungkooks six am routine. The blaring sounds reverberating through the whole apartment. Even after a year of living together you’ve still never grown used to. The temptation to smother him with the covers was becoming very tempted, as you stalked towards his room.

“Who doesn’t have pillows?” You asked yourself while staring at him. You shook your head in amusement while turning off that stupid alarm clock.

His mouth lightly twitched when you began to shake him awake. Talking quietly about him having to get up and do is supposedly mandatory workout. All he did was groan while leaning into your soft touch, and mumble incoherent words. Bringing your ears a bit closer to understand his jumble more was a good idea in hindsight. A shocked squeal left your mouth the mouth his muscular arms latched around your waist and pulled your body towards him.

“You do this all the time,” You smiled wrapping your around his neck. You playfully rolled your eyes when he dug his face deeper into your shoulder and let out a soft sigh while you were playing with his hair. “Sleepyhead, it’s time to get up.”

“Please, just five more minutes.” Jungkook spoke his hands rubbing up and down your back. Jungkook held you up up and placed his arm under your head to act like a pillow. Before settling back down he sat up and pulled the heavy duvet over the both of you. He would never admit it to, but he absolutely treasured these moments.

You’d never admit it either, but in all honesty you’d deal with the alarm clock madness everyday if it meant he’d always hold you this close.

“I’m beginning to think you’re letting this thing wake me up on purpose.”

“Think whatever you want, princess, but we both know I never get up on time anyway.”

—

WHY DID WE HAVE TO GET THE SHITTY NEIGHBOR

3 weeks. 3 damn weeks both Jungkook and you have complained about those horrendous neighbors. The amount of caffeine you’ve had to ingest definitely exceeded the healthy amount, but if you wanted to get to work then that’s what you had to do.

“Just because he’s the landlords son that shouldn’t mean he gets to do whatever he wants!” You exclaimed while covering your ears to block out the obnoxious music. “Besides who has parties this late on a Thursday?”

“I’m still pissed that fucker let some of his friends get so messed up and vomit all over my car!” Jungkook fumed as he bounced his leg. The anger was practically exuding from his body as he spoke. His eyes held fury in them the longer the music blared. “I’m gonna beat the shit of them!”

You bolted upwards the moment he left his spot on the couch. It took your entire body weight to even make him stop for a second. “Jungkook we’ll get eveicted, we know from the last time we tried to handle the situation.”

“Y/n, I can see the dark bags underneath your eyes and they aren’t getting any better. These stupid parties are interrupting something you desperately need.” Jungkook tried to reason with you. He held your face in his hands and gently glided his fingers over your cheeks. “I’m just looking out for you.”

“Jungkook, we both need sleep, but going over there and beating him to a pulp isn’t gonna solve anything. We might as well just suck it up.” You grumbled out at the thought of having to deal with this even more. You gave a tight lipped smile and grabbed his hand leading him away from the door.

“My room is a lot further away from the door, do you wanna sleep with me? Just for a little while?” He suggested while motioning towards the far back room.

“If it lets me get some rest for the first time in a while, sign me up.”

“Can I borrow some pillows then?”

—

YOU’RE WAY TOO DRUNK

The amount of peaceful sleep you were getting was starting to get a bit suspicious. Considering it was Saturday night, for once the idiotic neighbor wasn’t having a party at all. You were basking in the glory of this much deserved sleep.

“Jesus Christ.” You heaved out the moment a heavy body slammed into your door. Sitting straight up in your bed you stared at the door with drooping eyes. The golden doorknob was shaking violently every few seconds. Now, you would’ve been worried, but the fact that Jungkook likes to have more them one bottle of wine on Saturday stuff like this was a usual occurrence.

“Well hi, there!” Jungkook spoke, a small amount of enthusiasm sprinkled within it. Every step he took his body swayed from left to right. The amount of times he’s almost knocked over your lamp is more then both hands can count.

“Come here, you big baby.” You yawned and pulled his body down on the soft bed. You got down and began to pull of his boots.

“Wow, h-hey now, listen you seem like a nice girl, but I can’t do that!” Jungkook slurred and began to lightly shoo your hands away. “I’ll be betraying, y/n!”

You wee honesty too tired to try and ask the meaning behind him apparently betraying you. You hastily removed the left boot and started on the laces of the right one.

“You should meet her, I swear she’s absolutely so beautiful and amazing and I wish she was mine!” He giggled while grabbing your face and turning it towards him. “Woah, oh my gosh! You two could be twins!”

Those words kept echoing through your head, beautiful, amazing and I wish she was mine. Shaking the thoughts from your head, it was too late to be deal with this. You lightly pushed his shoulders back on the bed and watched as he went out like a like.

“ I think you’re pretty amazing too, Jungkook.”

—

WASH THE DAMN DISHES

The patience you had was astonishing, especially since you lived with him. Although, just because you have a lot of it doesn’t mean it’s long lasting. You gripped the end of the sink with a scowl plastered across your face. These dishes have been sitting in this sink for a total of five days. You would have done them, but you’ve had family matters to attend to and couldn’t be home.

“Oh my god it’s not that big of a deal!” Jungkook argued the moment he saw your pissed expression.

The tongue pressed against your cheek was a major indication of how pissed you were. “That sink fucking stinks.”

“So then wash them!”

Breathing in a slow breath you calmly stated, “I’m gonna throw fucking hands! If those aren’t done by the time I get back I will deadass evict you myself.”

Just because you liked the boy doesn’t mean you were gonna overlook his habit of leaving the sink so full. Well maybe that was a small lie. You’ve overlooked many things including things like this.

—

GROCERIES

You huffed while looking in the freezer for something to eat. You had originally thought you all were only low on water, nope. Going further into inspection you were practically low on everything. It was a miracle you two were still alive.

“Please!” You smiled as you slid beside Jungkook on the cough. A hopefully gleam was shining in your eyes as you batted your eyelashes at him. “I’ll shut up about the dishes incident!”

Jungkook rasied his eyes in suspicion, wondering if you were being true or not. “Promise?” He held out his pink and immediately your painted nail was looped around his.

Upon arriving at the grocery store you made a b-line for the chips as fast as you could. With Jungkook trailing hot on your tail. Happily tossing chips and cakes into the baskets as you walked deeper into the aisle. Stopping in your tracks as you contemplated on which ones to grab.

“Ew those pockys are nasty.” Jungkook laughed as he walked up behind you. He smiled slightly when he wrapped his arm around your waist and felt you lean in just slightly.

“What? I like the strawberry kind!” You protested as you held up the chocolate and strawberry side by side.

“Well, I like chocolate.” Jungkook shrugged as he yanked the box from your grasp and more then a few off of the shelf. He gave a mock nod and started off on his own path.

You couldn’t help the small smirk that came to your face as you watched him. You were finally coming to realization that you may have a small crush on the pocky obsessed boy. Maybe you should have to him up on the offer to join him in the shower.

Unbeknownst to you, Jungkook was feeling those butterflies in his stomach as well. A light blush dusted his face the moment you came up behind him and placed a small kiss onto his cheek. “What was that for?” He asked, but before you could even answer he swiftly caught your lips. A sweet kiss it was.

“Now that we’re on this kissing stage, maybe we can finally play the pocky game I’ve always suggested!”

[searchforthescars]

amanda, do you have any advice for someone who's just moved out for college? i moved out 2 weeks ago (i was supposed to move in the fall when school started but covid) & idk i feel so?? lonely? or sad, i guess? i'm a freshman & i was super excited leading up to it, but i got here & i'm in an apartment with 5 strangers & i'm overwhelmed with how many adulting things i need to do, like groceries & laundry & cooking. i always thought i was pretty independent at home & i've also been away for 1/?

summer programs or events for a week, 2 months, etc. so it's not like i've never been away from home before & don't know how to cook or do laundry or stuff like that. idk. i don't get why i feel like this & so overwhelmed (also, i think now i get why most freshman move into the dorms instead of going straight to an apartment haha). my roommates seem nice too, i just don't know them that well yet. i feel kind of silly & pathetic & baby-ish about this since i know i'm so lucky to be able 2/?

to move out, but mostly i just miss home & wanna go back to my parents & siblings & cats, especially since i don't have any friends here yet & can't meet any cause of covid. i'm 18 but i feel so much younger & it's kind of hard to believe that i'm 18?? like ahhhh i'm an adult??? when did that happen?? anyway, i'm sure it'll get better (or at least i'm telling myself it will), but idk what to do in the meantime. any advice?

Hey, kiddo!!

First of all, congrats on moving out -- I’m really proud of you for taking the next right step toward your future. You’re doing great <3

Second, don’t you dare think this is something you’re alone in experiencing; although it can feel incredibly isolating and terrifying, I promise that everyone has felt this way the first time they moved out of their parent’s/guardian’s home. I sure as hell did, and I was 20 with a college degree!!! There’s no shame in it, and I’m proud of you for being able to verbalize your struggles and reach out for help.

These are a few things that helped me when I was living on my own for the first time -- if I had known all this going in, rather than learning as I went, I would’ve had a much better time of it, so I hope these help <3 But if you have any questions or thoughts, my DMs are seriously always open to you, on- or off-anon. You deserve help and support and I’m honored to be trusted <3

Get yourself on a routine. Tbh, half of the reason why things feel daunting (at least in my experience) is that they feel nebulous. To combat that vis a vis household tasks like cooking, cleaning and laundry, I’d recommend setting up a weekly or monthly schedule. Look at your class schedule and any other commitments and figure out which weekday is best for you to do laundry, which nights you could meal-prep for the days ahead, and which weeks you’ll be cleaning your areas of the apartment. Jotting those down or putting some notifications in your phone calendar will help you a) remember to do those things and b) rest in the knowledge that you’ve given yourself some structure. If you feel you’ll struggle with actually doing those things, ask a roommate to be your accountability partner! They live with you, so they likely have a vested interest in you doing those things, and will certainly be happy to help out!

Give yourself something to look forward to. Missing your family is so hard, so plan when your next trip home will be. Plan a movie night or another activity with your roommates (in my opinion, PowerPoint Night is an absolute winner -- y’all can take turns presenting about literally any topic you want and it’s a great way to get to know people and what they’re passionate about (or passionately against).) 

Get a tiiiiny bit social. It’s really hard with COVID, and I know it’s also anxiety-inducing to be The New Kid, but even something as simple as attending a Zoom event hosted by a campus organization can give you a little bit of social engagement -- if nothing else, you’re hearing voices outside of your own and your roommates’! There are also a lot of Discord servers out there for video game friends, students, fandom folks, pretty much anything; the platform offers a streaming function, which many people take advantage of and can be a great way to engage with other people around something you both love. Having that little bit of enrichment is really helpful and goes a long way in making you feel less isolated.

Do something with your hands. Find a tactile sort of hobby - drawing, painting, bullet journaling, digital art, collaging, etc. - and do it regularly. I bullet journal, make stickers, and collage the New York Times Sunday paper once a week. Doing something with your hands regularly is a good way to get your creative juices going and help the time go by, and it often is therapeutic as well.

Exercise regularly. I can’t tell you how helpful it is to get moving. It seriously is good for your mind and body, and you’ll feel motivated to do other things once you work out. I didn’t exercise for the first three months I lived alone and lemme tell you, when I started again, there was a marked difference in my mental health. Go for regular walks around the neighborhood, or if there’s space in your apartment to do some simple bodyweight workouts, the Nike Training app has great free guided workouts under 20 minutes. There are also workout videos free on YouTube, everything from strength training to cardio set to popular Tik Tok songs. I like to exercise about 30-45 minutes a day but YMMV

Treat yourself. I ran myself hard and ragged when I lived alone because I didn’t have anyone to encourage me to do otherwise. Even though you have roommates, it can still be easy to feel like you’re just ships passing in the night and that the accountability they provide extends to chores or other space-sharing ventures. So hold yourself accountable for doing one kind thing for yourself every day. Eat a piece of chocolate. Splurge on a coffee once a month. Buy a book you want to read. Do little things to treat yourself because you can, judgement-free! You’re your own boss now!

I hope these help a little bit!!! It can be really overwhelming and scary to be where you are but I promise, you are farther along than you think you are, simply because you can recognize and articulate these feelings and are reaching out for help. I’m proud of you and sending you all my love -- if you need anything, you got it. I’m here for you <3