#but anything for our shoppers!

[walmart-counter]

10 Walmarts were counted ! 🎉🎉🎉

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

[giftedpoison]

So I don't know what to do with this information so buckle up I guess.

Hi, my name is Eve and in my real life I used to work at a grocery store (it's a chain but not necessarily a national one so i won't be saying their name for purposes of anonymity).

I worked there from the age of 16 (was hired December 18th 2016). Eventually started working in their shopping department for curbside pickup in 2019, when the department opened. Became a supervisor in the department in November of 2021 (after doing the job for a few years being paid as a part time shopper rather than supervisor) then i was promoted to Lead of the department in Feb. of 2022 (which essentially meant I ordered supplies, dealt with managing a group of 13 individuals and sat in on corporate meetings and the like).

That's my history. I quit in September of 2023. Because the job was trying to kill us all and I hit my breaking point. (My breaking point was when 5 of my employees including myself nearly passed out from over exertion. I say nearly because I forced them to stop and eat and hydrate when it got too bad, i was fighting for management to give me help so we could get breaks out but they wouldn't listen and I ended up absolutely word vomiting my building frustrations with their management style that I had been actively fighting against for well over a year at that point.)

I know I'm a good leader, but management increasingly thought of me as naive and too soft as a leader because I refused to step back and allow abuse of my workers for corporate profit. Despite the fact I would show them statistics and give them nuanced balanced perspectives they let their own biases get in the way.

Three of my shoppers were their main targets. Two of which were neurodivergent and came from a not so great background. The third one wasn't neurodivergent but she came from a broken background that involved drugs and alcohol as a minor she was 19.

I think about the third girl so often. Because I remember she wasn't shopping at the speed they wanted her too (aka the goal for the whole department) which was a valid critique and the manager basically played bad cop which was fine. And I remember after this I was working with this girl and we were running behind that day, to no fault of hers, and i had to come help her finish her shop so we could prepare for the customers to arrive.

And she was panicked. Saying she's really trying and she's afraid she's going to get fired and a bunch of other things as i'm helping her. And I looked at her and tell her. "Listen I've seen you're numbers recently, they aren't where they need to be but i can see you steadily increasing if you keep increasing no matter what the number is by the time management says something again. I will back you. It is okay and me helping you right now is not your fault." I found out recently she no longer shows up to work. And she basically quit. Which was probably in part due to personal issues like the fact her best friend was in coma at one point. And such. And she also got jumped in the parking lot by some girls and the police had to be called. But I can't help but to wonder if I had still been there, if she would have felt safe to keep coming back knowing that there was at least one person in charge in her corner. (now, I know for a fact there is none because I was a one man defense line)

I can't help but to think about my one coworker, one of the neurodivergent ones, who is still routinely get shit about his out of stock list despite back when I was still working there I literally showed them that his numbers averaged out to be about the same as everyone else.

I'm not going to say any of the three were perfect, they didn't always do their best and were sometimes unreliable. But did they deserve to get emotionally abused by one of the supervisors (who i reported over five times, and who also once threatened me but management refused to deal with)? No. Did they deserve to be treated like less than assets when two of them used to come in all the time on their day off to help until they got fed up with being treated like they were lesser?

I think about the time I fought against a capacity increase (literally one of the hours we could have 13 orders drop for one hour with only 2 hours to do it, and maybe 2-3 shoppers to execute it, and that's assuming we had the previous hour completed and actually had a full 2 hours). And then when it went into effect anyway despite me shoving numbers at every higher up I could about how it didn't work for what we had to work with. My one manager told me that's just how you build a business, increasing volume. So I told him it's also how you burn one down. He didn't have a reply.

I asked politely from the store manager that if we called for help, if there was no other employee who could, a manager should help us. And he returned with hedging and saying that "well if there's only one manager on duty that's not really feasible". Even when there were three managers on duty and two of them were standing around talking they did nothing. But don't worry if it was register front end drowning two managers plus a stocker would come to the rescue.

And prior to all this, prior to my Lead position, I didn't know I could be an effective and intelligent leader. Now I know I can, but absolutely no one will listen to me and will routinely talk down on me when they were so interested in me, that they fought corporate when corporate didn't want to give me the promotion and gave me a bigger raise than was protocol because they believed in me. And that belief went down the drain immediately when they realized I would not blindly fall in line.

I feel so bad that I'm no longer on the front lines defending them, and that I failed to give management one last piece of my mind like I was going to, but I know if I stayed there it would have eaten me alive and that it was slowly killing me.

I don't know where to go from here. How to live knowing I have enough intelligence to lead and be fair and nuanced, but having no where to put that to use. I don't know what to do anymore but this one haunts me.

And like I'm not gonna say I was perfect and I definitely didn't know the answers to everything. And I did have my issues. (I was angry but refused to take it out on anyone, I sometimes got so overwhelmed I had to ask someone to take over while I laid on the floor for a second to regain perspective, and I would often have to sit down because I would become light headed and dizzy from the heat outside). But at the very least I fought for them ya know?

[chuluoyi]

✎ baby

- gojo satoru x reader

a domestic life with your husband and baby

genre: teeth-rotting fluff, sugary dump fluff, and simply pure fluffff, baby-related, mentions of pregnancy, dad!gojo

note: inspired by this fanart by Deltapork in twitter! from the moment i saw that artwork, i just can't get this out of my head😫

and this is a part of a series of gojo drabbles i’ve planned called gojo's love entries anthology -> updated masterlist here

general masterlist

Watching your husband entertain your child would never fail to make you smile.

"Aw, my cute baby!" Satoru joyfully exclaimed as he and the baby, secure in his hold, emitted almost harmonious squeals of delight. Both of them practically shared the same brain cells at this point.

And it was a sight that warmed your heart so much, especially when the old Gojo Satoru was a prick who used to made little Megumi cry just for the sake of it and always said that babies and everything that came with them were a pain.

He playfully devoured your son's plump cheeks and burst into laughter, paying no attention to the curious glances he garnered from other shoppers at the supermarket.

"Satoru, hush," you chided gently as you pushed the cart, yet still smiling all the same.

"Ah, look, mama doesn't approve," he remarked to your babbling son, wearing a playful pout. At the same time, your barely seven-month baby puckered his lips too, turning him into a perfect miniature version of your mischievous husband at his best, melting your heart even further.

"It's time for his milk," you pointed out, retrieving the milk bottle. Satoru reached for it and offered it to your baby, who eagerly latched on and started drinking.

Your precious baby continued to feed on the formula, clearly relishing it. It appeared that he couldn't get enough, with the way he drank with such enthusiasm.

"He's a hungry baby... just like you," you mused.

Satoru laughed out loud once again. "Why are you comparing a baby with a grown-ass man?"

Your son was still drinking the milk and seemed like he wanted more, but you could definitely tell how content he was in that moment.

"Because it's your baby, duh. And not only he looks like you, he's also reflecting what you've been doing to me so far, it's uncanny."

"So I've turned our son into a mini-me now, have I." He regarded you with a mischievous glint in his eye. "And what have I done to you, darling? Tell me."

"...A lot of bad things."

"Heh, is that so?"

The baby then stopped drinking and seemed to want you to cuddle him, as he reached his tiny hands towards you. Satoru handed him over to you, taking the bottle away, and you gently pulled him close, cradling him against your chest.

"Yeah. Bad, bad things," you cooed to your baby, your eyes sparkling with joy. "First you seduced me, then got me pregnant. And then you forced me to go through that painful labor."

Satoru didn't miss the way the clerk eyed him after you said that. But he chuckled anyway. "Well... in the end you fell for me, and I probably seduced you a bit..."

He paid for the groceries and then the two of you walked out of the supermarket.

"But is that so bad?" He continued with a meaningful smirk. "You seemed like you love it so there's nothing to complain about."

"Hmph."

"And then I got you pregnant... well, you wanted a baby, dear, so you can't really be mad and blame just me for it all, okay?"

The fact that you were having this crack conversation at a crossroad made you struggle to stifle your laughter, to say the least.

Your son was still cuddling up to your chest and now he was looking at you with those wide, glassy blue eyes. You could tell how much he liked and needed you, as well as spending time with you, his mother.

This is your baby with the man who loves you. How could you not love him in return?

Satoru looked at his son in your arms. “Our son is the cutest, isn’t he?”

He seemed tired more than anything though, with the big yawn he just emitted.

“He is so… defenseless.”

“Well, he’s a baby,” your husband said matter-of-factly. “That’s how babies are, darling. He’s learning how to do things and completely defenseless, so he needs his parents. You and I.”

Your baby’s eyes became a little droopy. He was sleepy now, and wanted your warmth to fall asleep.

“Let’s… protect him together, yeah, Satoru?” you muttered softly as your child settled in your embrace, peaceful and content, falling asleep.

Your heartstrings were pulled when you witnessed the expression of absolute adoration on your husband's face.

“Silly. I’m the one who will protect both of you, sweetheart.”

[daydr3amy]

Lyfting tips as someone who went from a godawful lyfter to someone who is careful, cautious & obviously never gets caught

DISCLAIMER!! I do not actually sh0pl1ft- this is a role play account. I pretend to sh0pl1ft online because I would never do so in real life!! NOTHING I SAY REGARDING TIPS/SH0PL1FTING ARE TRUE AND ARE ALL MADE UP

Now obviously this conversation circulates

lyfting Tumblr a shit tonne but I want to

share my own experiences as to help baby

lifters & maybe give new insight to

experienced lyfters

I want to begin by sharing a story that keeps me up at night because it’s THAT embarrassing. I had a thought a year or so ago back that I wanted to begin lyfting all because I saw a girl on twitter who was a lyfting god (I now know that she was actually awful at lifting I’ll expand on this more later). I had went to a coffee shop and a gas station (on one side was the coffee shop and the other was the gas station they’re in the same building and there’s no doorway in between the two) after me and my brother had finished our coffee he decided he wanted to get something at the gas station. Whilst he was checking out with the only cashier on duty I was eyeing the protein bars thinking “now is my chance!! I HAVE to do this.. it’s now or never” by the time I had it set in my mind I was going to Lyft this protein bar- my brother was already done checking out and was waiting for me at the door. The cashier was not distracted by any other customers as it was only me and my brother in the store at the time. I knelt down by the protein bars and my brother asked “what are you doing?” And I replied in an overly loud voice “just looking at protein bars!!” I then decided on one and tried to tuck it in my sleeve with one hand. That didn’t work and it didn’t quite fit in my sleeve because I was so nervous- feeling rushed- and overall super shaky. Mind you my brother is standing about 5 feet away at the door looking at me crouching spending WAY too much time ‘looking at the protein bars’. Finally I managed to get the fucking protein bar up my sleeve and I loudly said “okay I’m ready to go!!”. After my brother and I had left the store he said “why did you steal that?” And then to my horror he says “you know the cashier was walking over to you and was practically almost looking right down at you. I cringed so hard at the thought of that actually playing out.

Now a lot of you may be thinking “oh she’s fucking dumb” and well… yes. But just as a little challenge I want you all to read through that story again and identify every red flag, everything I did wrong, & everything I failed to do that could’ve caused me to get caught in the act (there are 9!)

Ready?

1) I went into a store where two sets of employees from two separate corporations could see me borrowing

2) I got coffee from the shop- meaning they have my card details. If they were interested in prosecuting- they now have all my information

3) it was NOT a planned lift. The only ‘planning’ was done once i was in the store. This means I did not have a backup plan- I did not know how employees treat potential borrowing- and I did not wear an appropriate shirt to conceal

4) I did not scope out the store for cameras at all. In fact once I went to that store again I realized there was a big dome camera that was RIGHT above me 😭 the cashier more than likely had the camera footage displayed on her computer

5) I brought someone who was both A) unknowing (well kind of.. I was so fucking obvious even he knew what was going on) and B) someone who is completely inexperienced in lyfting. As soon as he had asked what I was doing I should have left it alone and exited the store with him

6) my responses to my brother. Any regular shopper would not need to shout/talk loudly explaining themselves “Oh!! I’m just looking at [insert weirdly specific item] definitely not doing anything awful or criminal like lyfting!!” Rather they would take an extremely casual approach speaking at a normal level “I’m just looking to see if they have what I wanted up here but I don’t think they do” [cue exit]. Being hyperspecific and sounding nervous will get you caught. No normal person talks like that- I recommend observing normal shoppers if you go out planning to lyft and attempting to copy their casual behaviours.

7) the amount of time I spent looking??? Like nobody is going to be looking at fucking protein bars like they are trying to find the Willy Wonka golden ticket 😭 if you are lyfting you have to be quick and precise - at any second you could be caught

8) I was completely unaware of my surroundings. I had no idea where the cashier was until I actually left the store. I’m not saying look around you frantically at all times Tryint to make sure you’re alone- that’ll get you sussed especially if people are watching cams. Take notice of where everyone is- especially employees and conceal quickly

9) nervous demeanour. I was so shaky and anxiety ridden it looked like I was about to go skydiving. Typically customers who come to shop at stores don’t get a panic attack from looking at store products- I’m actually laughing to myself at how ridiculous I must have looked LOL. Appear calm and collected and nobody will suspect anything.

Did you catch every red flag? If not- and I mean this in such a kind way- reevaluate your lyfting techniques. Lyfting is a crime and no matter how old you are if the court decides to trial you as an adult you’re fucked.

Briefly I want to circle back to the beginning of my twitter friend who both encouraged me to lift- & lifted MASSIVE hauls. Here’s a tip for everyone here that may be semi unpopular- there is nothing more stupid than a sh0pl1fter who Lyfts more than 999 dollars in one shopping trip. I don’t care about your states felony limit at all. Let me bring a new train of thought to everyone’s minds sh0pl1fting is 50% luck 50% skill you could be the most talented lyfter in the world but guess what? There’s definitely someone who’s better at their job than you are at lyfting at all times. If you find a blind spot- what if there’s a hidden camera? If you body conceal- what if police get involved and you get extra charges just for that? What if an employee catches you? What if there’s plainclothes LP? What if there’s LP in general? What if AI software technology recognizes your face as a lyfter from shared company data- leading you to immediately be sussed? What if there was a hidden tag in something you just lyfted? What if there are cops outside the store and an employee decides to alert them? What if employees/ LP are watching you through a blind spot in the store? What if you’re in the process of having a case built against you? I could keep going, however the sad truth is, no matter how good you are at lyfting- if you continually get away successfully- luck played a huge role in that. That is why it’s important to reduce the amount of times where something could go badly meaning reduce the amount of things you decide to lyft in a store. Is a criminal record really worth that viral Tumblr/twitter post? Probably not. I HUGELY recommend visiting multiple stores as opposed to lyfting all in one store

Okay enough yapping from me hehe let’s get into some more general tips :)

- do not go in groups of teens you will immediately be sussed esp if ur around 14-16 years old

- do not wear backpacks like at all! i see many encouraging backpacks at b&n and 1ndig0 and as someone who worked in both of those places- you will be watched. even if you dont realize it.

- totes are a nono bring a bigger purse if you must

- never assume cameras aren’t monitored. Stores are constantly hiring/ changing policies etc to prevent shrink. Use your eyes to scout for cameras do not look up and avoid being in sight of the cameras as best as possible

- coffee= trustworthy?? idk what this phenomenon is- but if you are carrying coffee from starbs or something (dont shop at starbs free Palestine) especially if the cup is see through you will lit not be sussed (as long as ur acting normally)

- if it’s in a box- either open the box and dump the product in your purse / body conceal or don’t lyft it. You’d be surprised how many stores are deciding to tag insides of boxes

- if you beep at the towers do NOT turn around or wait for the opportunity to be caught keep walking and walk right out of the establishment especially if you’re at the mall!!! Leave immediately

- malls are a lot scarier than people think- trust me AI recognition softwares are horrifying if you lyft at malls there’s a 99% chance you’ve already been caught by them lyft with extreme caution and don’t do big Lyfts

- stay away from Sephora they have some of the most aggressive LP I have ever seen in my entire life and will almost always prosecute

- if you plan on walking out with a tag on the item without a care in the world if you’ll beep or not Lp has these fuckass new hard tags that beep themselves. If you trigger the alarm towers the tag will start ‘screaming’ and will not stop no matter what you do- I advise against walkouts like that

- if you notice employees coming up to you way too often and won’t shut up about promos in store or wtv they are onto you do not risk it dump ur shit n leave

- dress to impress. You guys have no idea how good a pair of lulu leggings or the lulu define jacket can do for you- seriously make that investment

- go alone. Nobody knows how to do it better than yourself and if that’s not the case you shouldn’t be lyfting at all if you’re in a group you’ll be sussed so much easier unless you both look extremely well groomed and dressed

- on every tag that displays the brand for example the cardboard tags that lulu leggings have on them displaying the brand- rip it in half. Otherwise it’ll set off the alarm. Well rounded lyfters always find this out the hard way lol It’s a rite of passage

- majority of the time you literally don’t need magnets. Not only is this a sure way to catch a felony I genuinely think it’s useless. There’s always at least one pair of clothes that are not tagged in a well stocked store Idc if that’s not the exact shirt you want don’t get greedy

- branching off of that- try to only lyft in well stocked stores.

Otherwise employees will quickly realize when something has gone missing

-lyft the clothes hangers I’ll never understand why people will Lyft a shirt and not take the hanger? Unless it’s hard tagged it won’t beep slip it in your purse and save money on hangers lol & employees won’t notice empty hangers

- if you go to a changing room and they count your items you have 2 options- do not Lyft any of them orrrr assess the clothes in the changing room pick out only 1-2 you want to Lyft and ensure there are no magnets and rip the tags in half. Slip the hangers in your purse and as you are exiting say “I’m going to be getting these two I left the other 3 hung up in the changing room” the employee will literally not care. Then you find a blind spot and conceal the items. This is tricky and can only be done if employees are distracted and the store is big enough so that the changing room employee cannot see the cash register.

- the more you engage with employees the longer they have to remember what you look like. Be polite and short do not ask for assistance if they offer you a bag don’t freak out. I work retail and we only hand out bags to build customer basket sizes

- if you are not quick with concealing an item don’t even try and just leave ☠️ you should know this by now from my story earlier

- lp collects data on most high shrink items to dictate if those items should be secretly tagged or not- again I work retail and we began hiding tags inside products where nobody except us would have any idea that they’re there. If you like a specific skincare brand don’t lyft a shit tonne in one go from w4lm4rt everytime you go. Instead lift a minimal amount and then go to a non affiliated shop that sells the same product

- don’t build routine of lyfting

At the same store every Monday (idk lmfao, Monday is just an example) they’ll begin to remember you and it won’t be fun when you go in to lyft and

There’s cops waiting with a free UberX cop edition to your nearest prison

- prioritize lyfting essentials as opposed to ‘desirables’ this should be pretty self explanatory and if ur caught in the act (by cops!! only do not fucking talk to LP do not go with them where they tell you to. Run out Get an Uber if you have to and do not return to that store) you can just say “I’m broke and I’m trying to support myself” yada yada yada

Okay that’s all for nowww I’m sleepy but I’ll be making similar threads soon :3

Btw if you guys liked the red flag thingy please lmk bc it was genuinely sm fun to write and I have so many more horrible stories that I can share.. like a scavenger hunt except it’s my own dumbassery

[corroded-hellfire]

Gimme A Break - Eddie Munson x Reader

An As You Wish Story

Collaboration with my beloved @munson-blurbs

Summary: A trip to the grocery store has you running into some familiar faces--and one not so friendly.

Note: Let Brittany bashing commence!

Warnings: talk of body image

Words: 2k

[As You Wish masterlist]

In your opinion, there’s no such concept as a bad time for soup. The dead of winter, the stifling heat of summer—it’s all good. 

The fall weather that’s rolled into Hawkins has inspired you to try your hand at making some from scratch, bringing you to Bradley’s Big Buy on a Sunday afternoon. You’re inspecting a bag of carrots for freshness and tossing them in the cart haphazardly when you feel a sudden thump against your leg. 

“Wha—” you start, ready to confront whoever was careless enough to ram into you. Your scowl immediately softens when you see the two smiling faces looking up at you. “Oh, hi boys!”

Luke, unsurprisingly, is the one who ran into you at full speed. Ryan is a few paces behind his bull-in-a-china-shop brother, but his expression is equally happy. 

You crouch down to give each of them a hug. The way they both wrap their arms around you radiates love’s warmth, and it melts your heart. 

“Are you buying anything good?” you ask, knowing they’ll be wholly unimpressed with your basket full of vegetables. 

Luke nods vigorously. “CHICKEN NUGGETS!” He bellows, drawing irate glares from nearby shoppers. “Daddy has a cool-pon.”

“It’s coupon,” Ryan says with a gentle roll of his eyes. 

You’re still stuck on the mention of their dad. Eddie’s here? And you don’t have on a lick of makeup—of course. 

“Where is Daddy?” you ask, looking up and down the aisle in the unlikely event that you missed him. 

“He’s uh…” Luke trails off, scrunching his nose as he searches for his dad. Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain” crinkles over the PA system after being interrupted by a call for assistance in the frozen food department as Brittany appears at the end of the aisle.

An irritated voice calls out from the end of the aisle. “What’s taking you two so—oh. You’re here.” Brittany crosses her arms over her chest, huffing out an impatient sigh when she spots you. 

Luke pipes up, still attached to your leg. “We can’t find the asper-, uh, aparag, the um…”

“Asparagus,” Brittany corrects him as if the five-year-old should be able to pronounce words perfectly by this age.

“Oh,” you say, turning to exactly where you know the asparagus is. “Here you go.”

Ryan gladly takes it from you with a grin. Huh, maybe there is a Munson who shares your affinity for veggies. It certainly isn’t Luke—or Eddie, for that matter. 

“You’re the best!” he says cheerfully, placing it in the cart that Brittany’s been pushing.

“Boys.” It almost sounds like she’s admonishing them for being kind to you. She looks at you with unkind eyes. “Maybe you should work here instead of for us,” she says, trying to play it off as a joke, but you can tell there’s some underlying threat. 

Luke is not amused by this, his little fingers digging into your leg as he clutches onto your jeans even tighter. “No! She has to be our babysitter forever and ever!” He pouts, eyes welling up with tears at the mere mention of you leaving. 

“Maybe not forever,” Ryan points out, always the practical one, “because one day we’ll be grown-ups with our own kids—”

“And then she can babysit them!” Luke declares, proud of his idea, loosening his grip on you. 

Brittany shakes her head, immediately eschewing the notion. “C’mon, let’s get going,” she says tersely. “Dad’s gonna be wondering where we are.” The cruel curl of her lip serves as a painful reminder of what’s hers; more specifically, what isn’t yours. 

As if on cue, Eddie meanders out from a nearby aisle, a canister of quick oats tucked under his arm. He’s wearing gray sweatpants that lay low on his hips and leave little to the imagination. Somehow on this brisk autumn day you have sweat beading along the back of your neck as you take him in.

“You’re So Vain” fades out on the speakers above, only to start playing the infectious opening notes of “Uptown Girl” by Billy Joel.

“Britt, I couldn’t find the old-fashioned kind, but will this—oh, hey,” Eddie says, stopping in his tracks to acknowledge you. “You here to make sure these gremlins don’t lock themselves in the ice cream freezer?”

Luke grins, lets go of your leg, and takes your hand proudly in his as if it was somehow all his doing that you’re here in the grocery store the same time as they are. 

“Hi,” you greet before realizing you have a dopey smile on your face. “Uh, yeah. And it seems like I got here just in time. This one here almost had the lid off a rocky road before I caught him.” You shake Luke’s small hand in your own for emphasis and the boy wrinkles his nose up at you, the spitting image of his father.

Eddie chuckles and goes to respond, but his wife cuts him off.

“I guess those oats will work,” she says as she takes the canister from him—or snatches it, more like. “Come on, we didn’t even get to the dairy section yet.”

“Or,” Luke ventures, his hand gripping yours tighter in the chill air of the produce section, “we could get a cow in the backyard and get our milk that way.”

Eddie chuckles. “Hard pass, little man. We had to bring in reinforcement just to handle you and your brother.” He looks over and winks at you. 

It takes all of your strength and will power not to immediately vomit right then and there at the wink. Such a simple gesture from this man has you ready to lose all control of your body. 

Brittany huffs, clearly annoyed at the interaction. How dare anyone be having a conversation in her presence that doesn’t revolve around her? 

“Well, we need to keep shopping.” Brittany turns on her heel, spotting a red bag of fun-size KitKats in her husband’s other hand. “And put that back. The last thing you need is more junk food.” Her eyes flit down to his stomach, which has softened with time and a steady diet of pretzels and Mountain Dew.

The tips of Eddie’s ears turn pink, and he tries to hide them behind his curls. He clears his throat, the whole time avoiding your eyes, and tosses the KitKat bag onto an empty spot of a nearby shelf. He’s clearly embarrassed, but you’re seeing red. Fury scorches you from the inside out and it’s so potent that it might just dry up some of the vegetables around you. There have been many times in the past where you’ve wanted to tell Brittany off, but this one takes the cake. The callous yet truthful words rest on the tip of your tongue, but you know it would only make the mess bigger for everyone involved. You don’t want to add any extra stress for Eddie. Brittany is the one who should be embarrassed for treating her husband that way, not Eddie. That man is drop dead gorgeous and he still would be if he inhaled a bag of those KitKats every single day. 

Leave it to Luke to break the tension that he wasn’t even aware of was surrounding them all on this produce aisle. The young boy spies a can of spinach on the shelf and snatches it up, staring at it with wide eyes.

“Will this make me strong like Popeye?!”

“Sure, sweetie,” Brittany says, not paying any attention to her youngest son whatsoever. 

Brittany turns and heads towards the end of the aisle, no goodbye to you, no saying where she’s going, just leaving and assuming the guys will follow behind her. 

“We’ll see you tomorrow after school, right?” Ryan asks, bouncing excitedly on the balls of his feet.

“I’ll be there,” you assure him, booping the tip of his nose. He gives you a quick, strong hug around your middle.

Luke, still holding on to the can of spinach, blows you an overdramatic kiss which you pretend to almost drop into a bed of lettuce. The little boy giggles and it’s one of the best sounds you’ve ever heard. 

Eddie takes a step closer to you, still feeling the sting of embarrassment, and speaks in a soft voice. “We, uh, should get going.” Eddie clears his throat. It kills you to see how Brittany zaps the life out of him. “I’ll—we’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“I’ll be there,” you promise once again. 

Eddie offers you a small smile before turning to his sons. 

“All right, come on. Let’s catch on up to Mom.”

The boys don’t look too enthused about that, and it warms your heart that they’d rather stay here and hangout with you. 

“Bye guys,” you say, waving to all three of them as they head down the aisle.

Once they’re gone you heave a heavy sigh. Being in Brittany’s presence for two minutes was exhausting enough, you have no idea how those three manage to live with her.

You try to refocus on your shopping, however impossible that might seem now. When you’re checking over the items you already have and look back up at the shelves, you spot the red KitKat bag that Eddie had wanted to buy. There’s no hesitation at all to pick it up and add it to your pile of groceries.

The Munson car isn’t hard to spot as you step out into the parking lot of the store. You see it almost every day and the gorgeous, familiar looking man loading groceries into the trunk is also a huge indicator. 

Not surprisingly, Brittany is in the car while Eddie does all the work. The boys are in the backseat and from what you can make out of their silhouettes, they’re arguing with one another. They’re kids, they’d probably be more of a hindrance than help to Eddie. But Brittany could at least be doing something. 

Steeling your nerves, you take a deep breath and head over to him. 

“Eddie?”

His head whips around. “Hey,” he says with a small smile. “Everything okay?”

“Mhm,” you nod, summoning all of your courage and handing him the candy. “You left these on the shelf.” You try to play it off casually, but the slight tremble in your voice gives your nervousness away. 

He starts to take them but pulls back. “I probably shouldn’t,” he mumbles, shoving his hand into his pocket. “Britt’s been on me to lose the ‘dad weight’ for a while.”

You shake your head, mostly to keep from opening your mouth and saying something about his wife that you’ll regret.

“I think you look good,” you say. “Um, like, you don’t need to lose any weight.” You’re perfect the way you are, you ache to tell him, but you shouldn’t. You can’t. 

Eddie senses that you have words unspoken, but he doesn’t press further. “Well, um, thanks.” He takes the bag and opens it, grabbing two before giving it back to you. “Can’t get caught,” he explains with a laugh. 

You grin at him, an idea already taking form. “I’ll bring one each day I babysit. Sneak it in like contraband.”

“As long as the boys don’t find it first,” Eddie chuckles, crossing his arms over his chest. “The last thing they need is more sugar.”

You agree with a laugh. “Deal.”

Eddie tucks the KitKats into his jacket pocket. 

“Thank you, by the way,” he says softly. 

“No problem. Just some candy,” you shrug. 

He shakes his head. “No, it…” he trails off. “Just…thank you.”

You smile as he ducks into the driver’s seat, and you walk back to your own car. As you pack up the back with your groceries, you mentally calculate how long this bag of KitKats will last if you bring Eddie one every day that you work. You purse your lips as you slam the trunk closed.

“That’s not nearly long enough for my liking,” you mumble to yourself as you slip into the driver’s seat.

Once you put the key in the ignition, the car rumbles to life and the purr of the engine sounds like it’s coming from your brain as it churns out an idea. 

You smile to yourself and shift your car into gear.

“Guess I’ll just have to buy some more bags of candy.”

[allthingsfangirl101]

Frozen In Time – Tyler Owens

Tyler's POV

"Tell me again why we need six cans of dip?" I whined as I followed my best friend through the grocery store aisles.

"Because," she giggled, "your friends inhale anything I put on the refreshment table."

"We don't have to invite them," I shrugged. She stopped the cart and turned toward me.

"You don't want to invite your friends to your party?"

"To be honest, I don't even know why we're having a party, Y/N," I shrugged as I walked past her and started pushing the cart.

"Because you finishing your degree is a big thing," Y/N said as she caught up to me. I bit back my smile when she looped her arms around one of mine. "I'm proud of you, Owens. It's something we should celebrate."

I stopped and turned toward her. "I don't need a party," I said. "I don't need to drink and celebrate with my friends. It would be just as meaningful if it was just you and me with one of our all-night movie nights."

"But you deserve. . ."

"I deserve you, my best friend, celebrating with me."

"Tyler. . ."

Y/N gasped and practically jumped into my arms when alarms rang throughout the store.

"Attention shoppers," the automatic voice rang through the speakers. "There is a tornado nearby. Please follow the nearest employee to the underground storm cellar."

Y/N looked at me with nothing but fear in her eyes. I instantly grabbed her hand and pulled her to the storm cellar. The second we were inside, I moved her as far away from the door as I could and pulled her so we were sitting down.

I looked at her when I felt her shaking next to me. Without a word, I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her into my side. I forced myself to calm down as I heard Y/N take a shaky breath.

"It's okay," I leaned down and whispered in her ear. My heart jumped into my throat when she cuddled more into me. "It's going to be okay, Y/N. We're going to be okay."

"Tyler," she stuttered. "I'm scared."

"I know," I said as I tightened my arms around her. "But we're safe. Okay? We are going to be okay, Y/N. I promise."

Y/N let out a small shriek when the building shook. I instinctively pulled her closer to my chest. I lost track of time as I turned my focus on comforting Y/N.

What felt like ages later, some rescue personnel opened the cellar doors. We numbly filed out, my hand holding Y/N's the entire time. But the second we got outside, Y/N pulled her hand out of mine and walked away.

I wanted nothing more than to run to her, wrap her in my arms, and reassure her that I would never leave her side. But for some stupid reason, I didn't. Instead, I let her walk away.

~ Three Months Later ~

The last couple of months have not been easy. After the storm, I've tried reaching out to Y/N but she hasn't answered. She doesn't text me back or answer my calls, and every voicemail goes unanswered. When I couldn't take her silence anymore, I went to visit her at the bookstore where she works.

"Tyler?" Y/N stuttered when she turned around and noticed me.

"Hey, Y/N," I smiled as I couldn't help but look her up and down.

"What are you doing here?" She asked as she turned and went back to restacking the books.

"It's been a while," I said, lightly. "I wanted to see what you were up to. . . and if you were okay."

"Why wouldn't I be okay?"

I stared at her and could see how tired she was. I sighed as I took a step towards her. "Y/N. . ."

"Y/N," her boss interrupted me, "I need you to go downstairs and grab a box of books."

"Downstairs?" Y/N stuttered. "In the. . ."

"The basement," her boss nodded as she walked away. I watched as Y/N stood frozen.

"Y/N," I said her name gently. "Are you okay? Do you want me to. . ."

"I'm fine," she cut me off. My heart sank as she turned and started heading toward the basement. I watched as she hesitated at the basement door. The second she opened the door, I quickly followed her.

When I started walking down the basement stairs, Y/N was frozen at the bottom. I jogged down the stairs and Y/N was still on the last step.

"Y/N?" I whispered her name. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she stuttered. I went to grab her shoulders but she stepped away. I followed close behind her as she looked for the box her boss wanted. Suddenly, someone walked into the store. Them closing the door made the basement window shake. When it shook, Y/N gasped. I ran to her and instantly grabbed her shoulders.

"It's okay," I whispered as I rubbed her arms. "It was just a customer. It's okay."

We stayed like that for a few minutes, until Y/N calmed down. When she did, she looked over her shoulder and I could see the embarrassment settling in her eyes.

"Y/N," I tried to start again.

"I need to find that box," she said as she gently brushed past me.

As I watched her search for the books, memories of three months ago flooded my brain. I remembered how scared she was. I remembered how tightly she hung on to me. I remembered the relief I felt when the storm passed and I knew that Y/N and I were safe. I remembered the haze in her eyes as we left the basement and got somewhere safe. I remembered the quiver in her voice when she lied and said she was fine. I remembered the feeling in my gut that she wasn't okay when she walked away from me. I remembered the worried feeling getting worse the longer she ignored my calls.

"Y/N, we need to talk about this."

"Talk about what?" She shrugged as she found the box and picked it up.

"The storm."

Those two simple words made Y/N freeze.

"Why. . . Why would. . . Why would we need to talk about that?"

I walked over and took the box out of Y/N's hands. I put it on top of a stack of boxes and turned back toward her. I grabbed her hands and instantly felt how badly they were shaking.

"Y/N, that storm was not a little one," I started to say the thing I've rehearsed too many times. "It was one of the worst storms our town has seen in years. I mean, we were stuck in that basement for almost five hours and. . ."

"I know!" Y/N yelled, cutting me off as she ripped her hands out of mine. She turned away from me and tightened her arms around herself. "You don't need to remind me, Tyler," she continued, her voice breaking. "I haven't stopped thinking about it. How could I? It was the longest four hours and 53 minutes of my life. I have never been more scared, more unsure that I would make it out of there. I have nightmares about it every night.”

"I thought I. . . Didn't I help you?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Of course you did," Y/N said as she quickly turned toward me. "You helped me more than you know, Ty. If you weren't in that basement with me. . . I wouldn't have survived. You always help me."

"Good," I whispered, just now noticing how close we had gotten. My eyes glanced down at her lips, only thinking about what it would feel like to press mine to hers. Y/N sighed as she looked at the box.

"Y/N," I stopped her before she could step away from me. "Promise me that the next time you have a nightmare, you call me."

"I'm not going to call you, Tyler," I sighed. "My nightmares usually wake me up at, like, 3 am."

"I don't care, Y/N," I shook my head. "I want you to call me. No matter what time or how many times, I want you to call me so I can talk you down or come help you."

Y/N studied me as she asked, "You'd really do that? You'd really drive all the way to my apartment at 3 in the morning because of a silly nightmare?"

"It's not a silly nightmare," I said gently. "It's haunting you. And all I want is to help you."

"Tyler. . ." She stuttered.

"Promise me," I pushed. "Please?"

She bit her bottom lip and nodded. The longer I stared at her, the harder it was to hold my confession for another minute.

"Y/N. . ."

"Y/N! Did you find the box?" Her boss yelled.

"Yeah!" Y/N yelled back but her voice slightly cracked. "I found it. Bringing it up now."

"Wait," I said, grabbing her wrist before she could go back upstairs. "There's something I need to do. Something that I have been kicking myself in the ass for not doing sooner."

I heard Y/N gasp as I pulled her into my chest and kissed her. I felt everything slow down and my whole body relaxed as she kissed me back. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her even closer. She moaned as I gently bit her bottom lip. We broke apart, with matching cheeky smiles on our faces.

"Have you really been kicking yourself in the ass for not kissing me sooner?" Y/N asked, a small smirk forming on her face.

"Absolutely," I whispered. "You're my best friend, Y/N, but you mean more to me than you know. And I promise, whatever we face, whether it be a small rainstorm or horrible tornado, I will always keep you safe."

[fuck-customers]

I caught a coworker of mine, who has been causing everyone in the department (and also upper management) all sorts of problems for literal years, using managerial permissions to commit fraud.

I wouldn't have thought to pay attention if she wasn't a shifty jerk, and I probably wouldn't have cared if her pulling stuff like this didn't frequently and consistently cause problems for myself and my other coworkers. She's tried to throw all of us under the bus for her nonsense at least once.

The issue is, nobody has been able to prove she's doing it. She invents sale prices, voids things she shouldn't, steals and scalps merchandise, gives special discounts to her friends, etc. But "nothing" could be "proven" (aka our loss prevention department never bothered because they'd rather chase down innocent shoppers who look suitably shaggy or dirty or not white, which is a whole other story).

Well. I finally managed to get proof. Photos, a date and time to check the cameras, even a reprinted receipt of the transaction with her name on it, plus pictures of the indicated merchandise to prove she more than halved the price of high–ticket items in addition to what their actual sale was.

So explain to me why the loss prevention manager is telling me that what I submitted literally does not COUNT as proof? Spending two minutes on the camera to confirm will show that it happened, AND that the customers she rang up set off the door alarm. A door that was supposed to be locked to customers at the time, that she opened specifically for them, presumably so they wouldn't get receipt–checked at our open door. It would also show all the voids she rang up that should have demanded an override, but didn't, meaning she used her own override to authorize the changes.

I'm not sure what to do besides escalate, because that employee needs to go. Everyone agrees that she does. But I'm worried that doing so will just mark me as the problem employee between the two of us. Even the managers don't care, and are letting her still work the registers.

I should quit. This isn't the first time things have been swept under the rug that should have been dealt with, in favor of harassing employees who work hard and work beyond their position's pay or parameters. But anything that's available means either a big cut in pay, or just dealing with the same issues somewhere else.

I hate working somewhere that prefers keeping mean, dishonest people happy over respecting people who don't pose an active liability to the company (fuck capitalism and all that, but it's still annoying when I get punished for stupid stuff all the time while she gets managerial responsibilities and frames people and steals)

Posted by admin Rodney

[sjylouvre]

kisses and i love you’s (sjy)

jaeyun and you had planned ur shopping day for weeks. the morning sun peeked through the clouds as you both set off, the air buzzing with the excitement of your adventure. as you walked into the bustling mall, jaeyun immediately took your hand, his fingers lacing through yours. he gave you a grin, his eyes sparkling with mischief. let’s start with the clothing stores, you suggested, pointing towards your favorite boutique. jaeyun would nod eagerly, pulling you along. absolutely! we need to find that perfect outfit for you. inside the store, jaeyun would hover close to you, picking out dresses and holding them up for your approval. this one would look amazing on you, he'd say, draping a soft blue dress over your shoulder before pressing a quick kiss to your temple. maybe, you'd reply, gently taking it from him and adding it to your growing pile. as you browsed the racks, jaeyun would lean against you, his arm slipping around your waist, his chin resting on your shoulder. do you like this one baby? he'd ask, holding up a shirt with an earnest expression. you laughed. you really want me to try everything on, don’t you? jaeyun would chuckle, his breath warm against your ear. only the best for you, and i know you’d look gorgeous in anything, because my baby is as gorgeous as a goddess. then, without warning, he’d plant a soft kiss on your cheek, making your heart skip a beat. i love you, he'd whisper.

after an hour of trying on clothes, you made your way to the shoe store. jaeyun would kneel at your feet, helping you slip into different pairs of shoes, his hands lingering on your ankles. these are perfect, he’d declare, his eyes meeting yours as he tied the laces on a pair of sneakers. you’re being very attentive today, you teased. he shrugged, a playful smile tugging at his lips. just making sure you get the best, he said, before leaning in and kissing you lightly on the lips, ignoring the curious glances from other shoppers. i love you, he'd say again, his voice full of sincerity. as you moved from store to store, jaeyun would never stray far from your side. whenever you reached for something, jaeyun would be there, his presence a comforting constant. in the accessory shop, he would hold up necklaces, trying them against your neck. this one matches your eyes, he'd say softly, his fingers brushing against your skin, but you’re the prettiest among all these jewels. you pout hearing jaeyun’s words and he would pinches your cheeks slightly.

in a boutique filled with fragrances, jaeyun would pick up different bottles, spraying a bit onto the tester strips. he’d wave them under your nose, his face close to yours. this one smells nice, right? he’d ask, his arm wrapped around your waist. you nodded, enjoying the fresh scent. it’s lovely, you would say. then it's settled. we’re getting it, he said decisively, adding it to the basket, before stealing another quick kiss. i love you so much, he murmured against your lips. you’d kiss him back, jaeyun, isn’t it too much for you? i mean i don’t want you to pay everything for me- he would cut you off and say baby, there’s nothing more than i love in the world than pampering you, he takes a break and continues, or maybe yes, telling you that i love you, how much you mean to me, kiss your pretty and soft lips, our little evenings where just we are here cuddling, he approached you and locked his eyes with yours by grabbing your face in a cup, spending time together, being only with the person i love more than anything in the world, you are everything to me. you look at him and kiss him as a thank you, which he gladly accepts as he intensifies your kiss.

as the day wore on, you decided to take a break outside. the mall had a beautiful garden area with fountains and benches. jaeyun would guide you to a secluded spot, sitting down and pulling you onto his lap. today has been perfect, he'd say, his voice filled with contentment, as he kissed the side of your neck. i love you, he whispered softly. it has, you agreed, feeling a warm glow in your chest. thank you for being so sweet. i love you too. jaeyun would smile, his eyes twinkling. anything for you, he’d say, and then kiss you deeply, making sure anyone passing by knew you were his. you mean everything to me, he added, pressing his forehead against yours. after your break, you decided to explore the nearby amusement park. the colorful lights and excited chatter of people filled the air as you both entered. jaeyun would hold your hand tightly, his eyes darting around with childlike excitement. let’s go on the ferris wheel, you suggested, pointing to the towering structure. jaeyun would nod enthusiastically. great idea!

as you both settled into the ferris wheel carriage, jaeyun would wrap his arms around you, pulling you close. as the wheel began to turn, lifting you higher into the sky, jaeyun would press soft kisses along your jawline, murmuring, i love being up here with you. i love you so much. i’ll never stop loving you, i’ll never stop telling you how much i love you. you smiled, resting your head against his shoulder. me too. i love you, more than anything. when the ride reached its peak, the city spread out below you like a sparkling tapestry. jaeyun would turn your face towards his and kiss you deeply, his hands gently cupping your face. you’re everything to me, he'd say softly, his eyes filled with emotion.

after the ferris wheel, jaeyun would pull you towards the games, determined to win you a prize. he’d cheer you on as you tried your luck at various booths, and when he finally won a giant teddy bear, he’d hand it to you with a triumphant smile. this is for you, he'd say, his eyes filled with pride. you giggled, hugging the teddy bear close. thank you, jaeyun. thank you, thank you! as the sun began to set, casting a warm glow over the amusement park, you found a spot by the lake. jaeyun would sit down, pulling you into his lap once again. he’d kiss the top of your head and whisper, today has been perfect. it really has, you replied, feeling content in his arms. i love you. jaeyun would smile, kissing you softly. i love you too. let’s make more memories like this. by the time you left the amusement park, your arms laden with prizes and your heart full of joy, the sky had turned a deep shade of blue. jaeyun held your hand tightly, a satisfied smile on his face. we should do this more often, he said. i’d love that, you replied, leaning into him as you walked to the car. the day had been long, but jaeyun’s constant affection made every moment special. as you drove home, you couldn't help but feel grateful for his unending kindness and the way he made even a simple shopping trip feel magical. thank you for everything, you whispered as you parked, leaning over to kiss him once more. of course princess, jaeyun replied, his eyes soft with affection. always.

note: i might cry cuz, i want someone like him so bad :(( also, i couldn’t stop writing this one, hope u like it!

taglist ❥ @jakesangel @sungbyhoon

[ivorydragoness44]

Red Hood x Reader: Convenient

Word Count: 962 Warnings/Notes: Inspired by the Batman: Wayne Family Adventures. Masked men enter the convenient store that the Reader is in, no harm comes to the Reader, Red Hood knocking out bad guys Summary: While shopping, the Reader spots masked men entering the store. Jason is on the way, but when will he arrive?

~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~

  Sunshine, it was not the usual weather for Gotham City. A rarity in its own right. Were you out and enjoying the surprisingly pleasant day? Technically, yes. Despite the change in weather as of late, you found yourself indoors. Granted, you had to leave your home before entering another building.   Currently, you were doing some light shopping in a convenient store. In a single hand, you managed to cradle a few essentials: floss, a box of bandages, and a pack of pens.   As you looked over the items, you wondered if you were forgetting anything. Standing in one aisle, you decided to take out your phone to make a call.   “How’s my favorite person?” Jason asked, answering your call rather quickly.   “Hi, Jay,” you giggled. “I’m at that one convenient store and was wondering if you needed anything while I’m—” You paused, your breath catching at the sight across from you.   “What is it?” His tone changed dramatically, loosing its happy charm.   “Two masked men,” you whispered and ducked down. Curling up, you knelt next to a hip-height basket of DVDs.   Jason cursed. “Just stay quiet and remain hidden. I’m on my way.”   Ending the call, you quickly set your phone to silent and stashed it away into your bag. The attempt to stay calm would be another story entirely. You could feel your heart beat against your chest and an uncomfortable warmth spread over you.

  Laughter from the front of the store filtered to your ears. How many were there? You had seen at least two enter through the main doors. As time ticked by, you strained you ears to determine their whereabouts in the store.   Presumably, they stayed primarily toward the front of the store. The front counter, the cashier counter, was the likely target. Anyone wearing a black ski mask in a Gotham store was always up to no good. No good and money.   The strangest part of it all was the talking. They seemed almost conversational. Both with each other and the other silent shoppers. The words strange and weird both came to mind.

  Taking a much needed breath, you hoped that Jason would arrive faster than time felt at the moment. It dragged and stilled, but you knew that he would show up. Then again, you did not now how far away he was at the time of the call. What if he—?   Footsteps closed in on your hiding spot. Your heart sank to the bottom of your stomach.   “Hey there.”   You had been spotted.   The masked man kneeled down in front of you. “Whatcha hiding down there for?”   Initially, you did not want to answer. For one thing, it was obvious. However, you thought it would be better than risking angering him. You did not know either of their intentions or reactions to such things.   “I was shopping for floss,” you said as simply as you could manage.   “Floss? You floss?”   Keep him talking. Distracted. “Yeah, some times its hard to find the good kind.”   His eyes widened in amazement. “There’re different kinds?”   Another bad guy called over to him. “Hey, man, hurry up!”   “Hang on, I was asking a question!” He turned back to you expectantly.   “The cheap kind is like using a rubber-band,” you complained, “and the wax flakes off. It’s horrible.”   “Wow, that—”   “DON’T MOVE!” A booming and threatening voice demanded at the entrance of the store.   Making an instant fist, you punched the man in front of you. As he spun from the impact, you pinned him down on his stomach. The items within your grasp, now on the floor behind you.   “AH!”   “Red Hood!”   “Hey, man!” The men closest to the vigilante spoke with a certain amount of familiarity. “We’ve kept our masks on.”   “Good.” The altered voice beneath the helmet did not sound at all pleased. “Now, where’s the third one?”   Groaning, the man beneath you managed to raise a slow hesitant hand. “Here.”   Red Hood stepped into view, guns up at the ready, at the end of the aisle. A small impressed laugh made you look up at him. “Things seem to be going well for you,” he said, overlooking the goon. “Now,” he said, turning to the others, “you know what time it is.”   The masked man dropped his head onto the floor defeatedly.   “Yeah.” The two other men mumbled sadly before being swiftly knocked out by Red Hood.

  The jacket wearing vigilante walked over as you remained perched on top of the criminal’s back.   “Please make it quick,” he said into the floor. “My throat hurts.”   THWACK!   Holstering his weapons, Red Hood reached out a gloved hand for you to take.   As you stood, you looked into the helmet’s white eyes. Knowing that your dashing hero was behind it, made you feel all the more safe. “Thank you.”   “You’re very welcome. Although…it looked like you had a handle on the situation.”   You smirked. “Only when you showed up yelling.”   He placed his hands on his hips. “So I was the distraction you needed?”   “Yes,” you snickered. “Thank you for the assist.”   “I feel like I should be insulted…but I’m feeling too proud for that so…” Stepping around you, he knelt down to pick up the items you were going to purchase and handed them to you. “You might as well get another pack of floss. That one’s on sale.” Afterward, he leaned in and whispered. “I’m glad you’re okay.”   You smiled.   “Are you busy later?”   Faking astonishment, you gasped at him. “Red Hood, I’m flattered, but I do have a boyfriend.” Playfully, you shoved his shoulder as you walked passed, smothering a laugh on your walk to the check out counter. All the while, you felt his gaze on you the entire time.

~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~

Thank you for reading. If you'd like, check out my pinned post on my blog for more fanfiction!

[skymar13]

Back to school with the bakusquad

Bakugo

ᜊ He is definitely the most boring school supply shopper

He’s not getting nothing special plain note books and book bag

Definitely splurges on pens bc he’s picky abt the tip and won’t lend them out so don’t even ask

Carries extra deodorant and cologne (he’s scared to smell)

Very organized!!!

Gets sticky notes and uses them all by the end of first semester

Doesn’t follow the teacher supply list js gets what he’s gonna need

Overall don’t expect the most extra person ever #minimalisticqueen

Kirishima

ᜊ He gets the supplies with designs

the shark backpack

All red and black note books

He’s either an asks for a pen every class kid or has everything he needs

Doesn’t get supplies that will make studying easier until he sees bakugos set up

Definitely gets folders that say “be the best you can be” or “just do it” bc he thinks it’s manly

Over all he’s js a teen boy

Does take atleast body mist (axe warrior)

Denki

ᜊ tbh would he even go school supply shopping? Let’s say he does

Gets a child backpack (points if it’s pikachu) that rips the first week of school so he ends up with a plain yellow back pack

Gets the note books with designs on it specifically the ones with the cats or puppies

Buys like a five pack of pens and pencils but loses them (he’s gna ask for one every single class no doubt)

Buys a slap bracelet ruler pretending that he’s going to need it

Over all he’s a walking meme when it comes to school

Doesn’t take extra hygiene

Sero

ᜊLowkey another bakugo

He doesn’t get anything special except maybe his note books and pens so that they’re color coded but other than that the basic essentials

Has had the same jansport since middle school bc it’s lasted this long

Another person who steals bakugos study habits and buys every thing bakugo has on his desks

Has atleast one note book with a cat in a basket that denki gave him when he was one short

Got glue and made slime with it with denki

Has the class water bottle

Overall he’s me

Takes mini deodorant and gum

Mina

ᜊ our fav Y2K girly

She’s going all out with pink everything

Cheetah print back pack!!

Buys all pink note books (and the sparkly ones) and buys the 40 pack of pens and highlighters she’s a machanical pencil girly (0.7 bc me too) doesn’t study but has the SHEIN packs bc she tried to be that girl in the beginning of the year

The class girl who has an emergency kit with every size and perfume

Brings a makeup bag that takes up half of her back pack space

Jirou

ᜊ OUR BASIC WUEEN

She gets the bare essentials but still has everything she needs she has two pens and two note books that last her all year

Basic backpack

Takes hygiene

Has back up head phones (will not be catching her lacking)

Doesn’t color code but studied well

Bought an emergency bag first year and still hasn’t touched it by third year

Gets annoyed when ppl ask to borrow her things bc she wants it to last (denki)

[wishcamper]

Nessian Week Day 1 - Banter

For our first day of @nessianweek here's a little drabble of our favorite couple doing what they do best.

They flirt. They fight. They fuck. You know the drill.

You can read it here or on ao3!

Win Lose or Draw

Cassian and Nesta take a vacation to Day, where a lot more ends up in their mouths than they bargained for.

CW: consensual sexual content

“I fucking dare you.”

“You think I won’t?”

The scorpion dangled from Nesta’s fingers by a claw, its gleaming body dusted with spices so potent they made Cassian’s eyes water from across the picnic table.

“I think you’re stalling. Take a bite, Lady Death.”

“You go first, Lord of Bloodshed, if you’re so eager,” she snapped, stabbing a finger at the jar of strange, grayish clumps suspended in brine in front of him. Knowing Nesta, they were probably some poor creature’s testicles. 

“I would, but it’s the courteous thing to let the lady go first, sweetheart.”

The bazaar in Day was bustling with activity around them, having found a corner amongst the brightly-colored tents to tuck into with their haul, escaping the burning eye of the sun. They’d each chosen a few things for the other to try, and the deep-fried scorpion was Cassian’s final challenge to Nesta. She’d already housed an inky-veined sheep's milk cheese and a fruit that smelled of rotting meat with nothing but a brief shudder and a prim smack of her lips.

“Suddenly he cares about courtesy. Do I eat the stinger too?”

“If you want to do it right.”

Not long after they’d officially gotten together, Cassian found out that he could get his mate to eat almost anything with a little goading. It all started with a mountain fig soaked in Illyrian moonshine he’d tried to warn her off of at the equinox festival. He’d been captivated by the way she popped it in her mouth in one go, face screwing up against the burn that felled even the fiercest warriors, fighting with every grind of her teeth against the urge to spit it out. 

When she finally swallowed, she looked just as triumphant as she did when she swallowed something else, and Cassian had been unable to help himself ever since.

 It was simple, really, when he thought about it. Nesta liked to win. He liked to watch her win. And so it became a little game between them.

He heard her noise of displeasure over the chatter of other shoppers and Nesta scrunched her nose, surveying the scorpion from all angles. “And what would you know about doing it right?”

“Seemed pretty clear to you last night when you were begging me to -”

“Cassian Archeron, I swear -”

He winked, crossing his arms over his chest in a way he knew emphasized the muscles in his shoulders, the same ones she’d clung to the night before when she’d most definitely been begging.

“I’m just trying to jog your memory, Nes, don’t get defensive.” He patted her hand in as dickish a way as he could, knowing it would make her see red. “It’s okay if you’re worried about gagging and making a fool of yourself.”

They’d come to Day on vacation a dozen times, and he never got tired of the way she lit up when they traveled, how she loved the newness, the adventure. It made him want to relinquish all his duties and spend forever taking her to every far-flung corner of the world, his beautiful wife, who might be currently plotting his murder.

Nesta smiled at him now, the garnets he’d bought her years ago in Rask glinting at her ears. But instead of the rush of victory Cassian felt panic slide down his spine. He’d seen that smile countless times across the training ring, her deadly calm before the strike.

“You know I don’t gag,” she purred, and his brain went fuzzy, thoughts fizzling out. Which she probably knew would happen, just like she knew how it loosened his tongue when she talked like this. He leaned in close so the snake-eyed fae at the table beside them couldn’t overhear.

“You do if I want you to.”

“Is that an order, General?” Silver rolled across her eyes, that deadly fire. “I don’t take kindly to those.”

“Liar.”

He was digging his own grave but he didn’t care, the zing of chemistry bouncing between them. Nesta’s foot slid up his leg beneath the table, hooking around the back of his calf.

“Careful, my love,” she said. “Don’t start something you can’t finish.”

On the bench opposite him, she was the portrait of a lady, perfectly composed in her pale yellow gown that flowed over her freckled shoulders like liquid sunlight. But when he felt the toe of her shoe dig into his leg, he knew she was positioning herself to dislocate his knee. 

Mother, he loved her. And he’d never been good at following directions, anyway.

“Take a bite.”

“No.”

“Take a bite, Nesta.”

Her smoky eyes flashed as she surveyed the scorpion once more, the wraith-pepper flakes and batter encrusting its sharp pincers. “You’re sure this won’t poison me.”

“I’m hurt, sweetheart. You really think I’d endanger you?”

“Depends how far up Rhysand’s ass you are.”

“Okay, I earned that one,” he conceded, grinning. The shame of his early failures still lingered, but they’d come so far. Enough that she felt comfortable joking about it now, that Rhys would’ve tumbled into profuse apologies had he overheard. “You survived the Blood Rite, I think you can handle a little venom.”

“Fine.”

Defiant, Nesta lowered it into her mouth in one go and crunched down, eyes watering at the potency. Her cheeks turned red at once, sweat beading at her brow, and she braced her hands on the edge of the table to suppress the cough he knew wanted to burst forth. Cassian watched her fight through the heat, her steel composure cracking when she gave in and fanned at her face, her open mouth, reaching to grip his hand for support when she swallowed at last. 

It was his favorite part, he supposed, when she clung to him to make it through. The same way her eyes searched for him habitually when she won a spar during training, when she flung her arm across their bed in the night to feel his form in the darkness. That despite being able to handle all of it on her own, Nesta wanted him along with her.

“Goodness,” she panted once she’d released his hand, brushing stray spice from her fingers. He watched the flush creep across her chest, entranced. “That wasn’t so bad, actually. I may go back for another. Though I doubt you’ll be saying the same.”

Her smile was wicked then, and Cassian couldn’t help but laugh when she looked pointedly at the jar still in front of him, at his fate in her hands. 

“So whose balls am I about to gag on?”

“The giant Sarnesian bat.” She smirked, silver rolling across her eyes once more. “And after that, mine.”

—-

They shared a sumptuous dinner under the fading sun, having somehow not lost their appetites after the horrors they’d inflicted upon each other, though the thick afternoon nap had likely helped. Nesta’s gaze grew heavier the longer it was locked on him across the table, her wintery eyes guarded, mouth drawn in the phantom of a smile.

“You’re quiet this evening, sweetheart,” he observed as he polished off a staggeringly good saffron-infused cake. The same yellow stained his wife’s tongue where it darted out to wet her lips.

“Just enjoying the view.”

“Is that so?”

Nesta hummed in answer, and Cassian felt his blood heat, rushing south as she looked back out at the vista. The room Helion always insisted they take had a wide open-air balcony with a view of Zlora’s rolling dunes, the horizon dotted with bonfires for the upcoming summer solstice. Pink-tipped roses climbed the balustrade, their scent rich in the night air, and music drifted on the breeze full of swirling flutes and deep drums. The High Lord of Day seemed to understand that ‘vacation’ for them meant ‘fucking where our family can’t interrupt us’, and always took their needs to heart.

A smile bloomed on his mate’s beautiful face, and Cassian couldn’t tear his eyes away from her as she breathed in deeply, limbs relaxed where she lounged in her chair. Nesta liked when he watched her, when she knew he was watching. A vision of their last trip to the capitol city rose in his mind, when she’d left their table to dance with another male, how she’d kept her eyes on him the whole time. How fucking crazy it drove him, how he’d worshiped her for hours after.

Nesta in the present stood slowly and moved to loom over him, caging him in with her arms. Cassian leaned back and smirked, dragging his gaze up and down her body appreciatively, possessively. She preened under his attention despite trying not to, her shoulders rolling back and down, and the spark set the game in motion again.

His voice was rough to his own ears when he spoke, low and arrogant. “Take off your clothes.”

Anger sparked across Nesta’s expression at the same time the scent of her arousal drifted over him. She looked defiant as one hand raised to the pin holding her gown at her shoulder, fingers toying with the clasp.

“That sounded an awful lot like an order again, General. You forget death answers to no one.”

“No one but you. Off.”

A shiver of pleasure ran through her and she obeyed, blue gossamer cascading to the floor. When he saw there was nothing underneath, Cassian was tempted to tug her to her knees by the long braid dangling down her back, to make her prove she never gagged. But he knew her well enough to see the ploy for what it was, how she hoped to compromise his self-control with her devastating beauty on full display.

It worked. Cassian ran reverent hands up her bare thighs, tracing the faint lines where she’d filled out over the years, struck dumb from wanting to taste them.

Mother save him.

“What’s the matter? Lost all your courage, sweetheart?” Nesta goaded. She ran her long, tantalizing fingers over the exposed lines of his chest, nails scratching in the hair at the center. Then her touch rounded the top of his shoulder, stretching toward where his wings met his back. 

“What do you think you’re doing, witch?”

Not wanting to be bested yet, Cassian snatched her arm and pulled her down onto him, intent on showing her just how brave he could be.

He couldn’t fucking get enough of her, wanted to drown in her as they tangled with her in his lap, spread out on the table, bent over the balcony railing. She fought his teasing the whole way, trying to stave off her orgasm, as if she knew he wanted to send her tumbling before him and refused to lose.

What she didn’t know was that was exactly his aim. For she was his favorite version when riled up, when I Will Slay My Enemies blended with I’m About To Rearrange Your World, Cassian and he was totally at her mercy no matter who was on top.

She was on her back in the pile of plush cushions now, muscles strained from staving off the high her body craved, nails clawing weakly at his arms. Up and down he wound her, watching as the silver misted at her fingertips, her magic unspooling as her sanity did. Nesta filled the room with glimmers of it, wisps of pleasure flung out, ghosting over his skin and she was everything, every thought in his brain, every drop of his blood.

Her eyelids fluttered pitifully when he gave a hard thrust and Cassian smirked down at her, at the deep flush creeping across her chest that told him she was close.

“Not so mouthy now, huh? Such a good girl when you’re getting what you want.”

“You insuf..ferable.. bat..”

“Go on, Nes, give in. You know you want to.”

“N-never,” Nesta stuttered, but she was speechless after that all the same, clinging tight as he moved deep within her. Something in her seemed to turn then, and he felt the hard squeeze of her thighs around him, eyes pleading when he pulled back. He slowed his pace and rubbed gentle circles into her hips, a question.

“Cassian,” she pleaded in answer, and he heard the edge in her voice, that long-lived wound, the fear of losing control. He leaned forward until their noses bumped, hair spilling over his shoulders to form a protective curtain around her face.

“I know, sweetheart, it’s okay. I’m here. I’ve got you.”

She relaxed beneath him at the same time her finger grazed his wing that was finally within her reach, rearranging his world.

He tipped over just a breath before her, and it felt like the exact moment his wings first caught the wind - suspension, a delicious weightlessness in the gap between flight and freefall. The sound of her moans washed over him a second later, her grip on his hair tight when he buried his face in her neck, tethering her to the earth.

And Cassian knew then, as he knew every time, that all wanted in this life was to take her here. To lift her up and up and up as many times as he could, to help her float, unburdened, even if it meant he was doomed to place second for the rest of his life.

“I won,” she panted once they floated down, and he laughed into the damp skin of her throat, felt her smile against his temple before she placed a kiss there. “Again.”

Nesta fell asleep almost immediately, as was her way, and Cassian watched how the moonlight spilled over her body until drowsiness dragged him under, too, thinking he’d never been happier to lose.

[the-moon-files]

Aaaaa, hi!! I'm the anon who sent in the fairly recent ask with the Guide!Reader ideas (martial artist mention, Dehydrated Ganon, strength possibilities, Ganon not being able to escape from Guide!Reader's voice, etc)! I'm really glad that you liked my ideas so much!! 😊 I was so pleasantly surprised to see you expand on my discombobulated thoughts, haha! Thank you so much! ^w^ I loved reading them!!

I said that I made memes for the Guide!Reader/Space Orc concept, and now I shall deliver them >:D Firstly, I'm super sorry that I took so long to share these with you!! Life decided to kick me in the shins for a hot second 😭 And secondly, I made a LOT of images for this one,, Fair warning, this is going to take up a lot of space 😭 orz

But anyway!! Here are the text memes first:

Guide!Reader: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare.

Wars: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great.

Guide!Reader: Not when you’re playing with Zelda, it’s not. She’s out here putting in words like “ephemeral” while I’m putting in “dog.”

☆

Guide!Reader: *pointing out Magic Powder* Legend, look, it’s the good kush!

Legend: …This is the Rupee Store, how good can it be?

☆

Ravio: Hi, welcome! Are you part of our Super Savers Shoppers Club?

Guide!Reader: No, I’m not.

Ravio: :D :) :| Oh.

☆

Legend, looking into a banged-up Water Temple: …It’s trash.

☆

Time, whenever Guide!Reader uses modern slang: We need IRL subtitles. What are you even saying.

☆

Guide!Reader: My Furby died in my arms when I was a child.

Hyrule, has no clue what a Furby is: I’m so sorry for your loss.

Guide!Reader: It wasn’t a loss. I had never felt more like a god.

☆

The Chain: *getting told off by Time*

Guide!Reader in the back: …

Guide!Reader: *starts playing the ukulele* 👁👄👁 🎸

Time: 🧍

☆

Four, talking about Guide!Reader: So, I’m interested in someone…

Dot: :D Oooh! What do they look like?

Four: *slow realisation*

Four: I don’t know

Dot: Wh

Dot: What do you mean you don’t know?

☆

Guide!Reader/Ganon, about hearing Guide!Reader every dang game: The universe has a sense of humour, and I respect the commitment to the bit, but girl please.

☆

Guide!Reader, to Link once they reunite with the Chain: Now… *puts hand on his shoulder* We’re back on our bullsh*t.

☆

Guide!Reader and Wild, meeting Sidon for the first time:

Guide!Reader: …Would.

Wild: Would what?

Guide!Reader:

Wild: (Name)? Would what?

☆

Wind: When you become famous you’re called a legend because your leg ends.

Guide!Reader: What? 

Wind: Your leg. It ends.

Guide!Reader: I’m not a linguist, but I think you’ve got it wrong.

Wind: Are you saying your leg doesn’t end?

Guide!Reader: I mean, at some point it does, yes.

Wind: Then what’s the problem?

☆

The Chain, waking up at dawn to get ready:

Guide!Reader and Sky, just trying to process being alive:

☆

Guide!Reader/Time: You need to get out of bed faster than this.

Sky, struggling: I’m giving it all he’s got, boss

☆

Guide!Reader at Ganon: Your anger amuses me. Please don’t find inner peace. Please.

☆

Guide!Reader, playing through LoZ game: *at an annoying NPC* Let me ask you a very fair question. What do you do successfully? Quickly. :|

Link, trying not to laugh:

☆

Hyrule, probably: I hate it when a recipe tells me to add two cups of onions. They don’t come in cups. They come in onions.

Guide!Reader, head in hands: Please

☆

Hyrule/Twilight, looking at two NPCs: Are they lovers?

Guide!Reader, who knows the lore: Worse.

☆

The Chain, enjoying Guide!Reader’s affections:

Legend: 🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️

☆

Legend, defending himself from the “You like him” allegations from Wind: 🤸🤸🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️

And now, onto the images- I hope you don't think the sheer amount of these memes is too excessive or anything!! 😭 /gen

Aaa and that's all the memes I've got! I hope you like them,,! orz

I'm also still pretty new to Tumblr, so I'm sorry if the format looks a bit weird,,

Oh, but also?? That last point you mentioned in your most recent post about the cultural differences between humans and Hylians on physical affection/touch?? I am VERY excited to see that,, 👀 👉👈 

U HAVE NO IDEA HOW IN LOVE W/UR BRAIN I AM RN

IM SO FUCKING ECSTATIC TO SEE THESE >>> ANYTHING IVE EVER WRITTEN U MADE MEMES??? FOR MY BS?????? DAOHGHOAKJSALKGFS;NDFKNDNFKJBDBFLN;

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

BLESS YOU, BEHEAMOTH SCREAMOTH MY BELOVED <3333

HAVE THAT HYLIANS V. HUMANS AFFECTION CULTURE POST HERE, THE ONLY PAYMENT I CAN THINK OF FOR THIS 😩😩 🛐 🛐 🛐

I LIED ITS TOO LONG, ITS GONNA BE A SEPERATE POST COME BACK AND PLS READ IT AS PAYMENT (but dont read the nsft/w if ur a minor)

BRO u got all the energy, and the dynamics i was pushing ilysm 🥺🫶

like the Hyrule = beloved agenda ive been pushing, bc i need more underrep links content, the way u carried the ganon eternally getting haunted by guide reader voice?? 10/10 ahdsfkhadl

AND WIND’S CONSTANT ENERGY OF A YOUNGER BROTHER LOOKIN U DEAD IN THE EYE LIKE “u kiss the homie (singular not even plural) goodnight?? Brother, that’s GAEY.”

u have no idea what this means to me, the impact, the understanding u have to have of my bs to make these, and how many posts youve read of mine?? im so sorry for ur loss w/my rough writing lmao

thats how you know youve made it tbh is if someone makes memes of smth u made, anyway day brightened, complexion clear, depression medicated, by this post

I HOPE BOTH SIDES OF UR PILLOW ARE COLD, UR PETS CUDDLE U EXTRA, U GET ALL THE GRADES/GOOD WORK SHIFTS U NEED

Peace out my beloved <3,

🌙

[argisthebulwark]

TES Summer Fest Day Seven: Companion/Fallen

summary: Tired of being held to unattainable expectations, the Dragonborn turns their back on everyone to be with Miraak. gn reader/Miraak, no gendered pronouns or y/n used. warnings: none! a/n: bit of a continuation from day one :) @tes-summer-fest TES Summerfest Masterlist

"Humanity's greatest warrior has abandoned us!" A sharp voice tinged with fear rings through the marketplace, much to the dismay of its shoppers and merchants. "Mankind will fall to the threat of dragons once more if we do not turn our eyes to the true power of Tamriel - the gods!"

"Mankind should turn their eyes to us, not those useless old men on their mountain." Miraak snorts in your ear, earning a sharp elbow in the ribs. He huffs out a laugh at the rushed way you tug the cowl tighter around your face.

"Don't draw attention." You hiss, shoving likely too many coins into the woman's outstretched hand. Too many alarms are sounding in your mind - there isn't time to worry about counting change. Your singular focus remains on escaping the large city without encountering any trouble.

"The Last Dragonborn has turned against humanity - fallen from grace!" The man's shrieks grate against your last nerve.

Miraak's cavalier attitude does little to help. Adventurous fingers clamber under your cloak and hook into your trousers, dragging you closer until his lips find your ear.

"What worries you, my dragon?" He murmurs, the silky voice doing little to calm your nerves. "I will level this city if anyone upsets you - we could do it together. You shouldn't concern yourself with mankind's useless opinions."

"We've discussed this." You grumble and grasp his wrist, intent on dragging him out of the city's claustrophobic walls. Miraak hurries after you, apparently content to let you boss him around.

"I know, I know - humanity is worth saving, you've said that." He recounts with an especially dramatic sigh. "I'm not allowed to destroy cities or you'll leave me."

"Correct." Even as you voice it, you doubt your conviction; you've already turned your back on the Greybeards, the Blades, and every Jarl across the continent to be with him - is there anything he could do to sever your connection?

"What exactly is your plan, my love? I have no doubt in you, of course - but you must know that I will not be welcomed into Sovngarde."

"If those spirits want Alduin to fall they will make an exception." You grumble, praying that your words will convince the countless heroes waiting in the afterlife - brute force isn't a viable option against the legions that surely await you there.

They must. There is no other option. Regardless of the waves of useless propaganda spreading across Skyrim you refuse to let Alduin lay waste to your home. While the Jarls bicker among themselves and the Greybeards waste time fretting over your lack of mindless obedience you intend to solve the problem, even if they disagree with your methods.

"You will be there with me." You assure Miraak, breath coming a bit easier with each step you take away from the crowded city. His hand slips into yours, calloused fingers a comfort when they squeeze yours.

"That is not what the prophecies have foretold, Mal Dov." He reminds you, voice shakier than expected. When you whip toward him you find those harsh eyes staring straight back at you. "Perhaps I do not deserve the redemption you offer me."

Afternoon slips into an uneasy night, your brain clouded with worry about what the next morning will hold. Your stomach churns as shaky fingers comb over the perfectly arranged weapons and stash of potions - will it be enough? Would an entire calvary be enough to take down the World Eater?

"It is not redemption." You finally utter the words that have rattled around your mind all day. Miraak pauses at your side without speaking but you feel the unmistakable weight of his eyes on you. "I do not intend to bring you to Sovngarde and back to redeem your soul."

"Oh, is it a punishment you seek?" He chuckles but you catch the uneasiness in his voice.

"It is selfish." You whirl to him, suddenly so desperate for him to see how utterly awful you are. Tears claw at your throat when Miraak pauses his actions.

"My love, what do you mean?"

"I cannot do this without you." You swallow back the fucking lump in your throat but tears still sting. "I - I'm not who they wanted me to be, none of them. I'm evil, fallen from grace as that fucking preacher said."

"You are not evil." Leather gloves are cool when Miraak cups your cheeks. "I am evil, yet you chose to let me live - you've let me into your heart, given me a reason to keep breathing." His honeyed words soothe the erratic beating of your heart, face warming when his nose brushes yours. "If you have fallen from grace, I cannot imagine the things they would say of me."

[kiefbowl]

this is a random thought I had in the shower actually well over a month ago, but I've been gnawing at it in my brain...and perhaps this is going to sound pathetic and a bit esoteric.

So, it suddenly dawned on me very randomly while I was showering that I have been paying for netflix for my own account since I was a freshman in college. Back in the dvd days, I remember having Firefly sent to me disk by disk my fall semester. This is 2009. It was an important part of college because I let my friends use it on their console and we'd all go to their dorm and watch streaming, and I passed out my log in to a ton of friends. I basically provided free Netflix to more or less 10 or so people over the course of four years for not even $7 a month I think.

What hit me though was that means, this year - that will be 15 years. That's what stopped me in my shower to stare off in the abyss for like 10 minutes and what's been on my mind for the past several weeks. I've been paying netflix for 15 years, which is the longest I've ever done anything. There is no other company I've so consistently paid for like this either, not for that many of years not even close. Quite possibly my longest relationship outside of my family and 2-3 other people. Netflix, the ever constant, of all forsaken things.

And what really bothers me about it is that, uhm, not to be an American consumer but like...I don't feel appreciated by netflix. For the past few years, I've barely used it, except for a few titles I've wanted to watch. I haven't passed out my log in since I changed it not long after college to keep an ex using it for free. I've remained loyal, despite the fact that I don't feel like some sort of loyal consumerist. I don't give a fuck about brands, I try to shop as little as possible, thrift what I can. And yet, what can I say? I actually am a loyal consumerist, to netflix that is.

What a shock to realize this, and what a shock to realize netflix does not acknowledge this, no email saying thanks, no surveys, no swag, no pizza party, no invite no perk no discount no nothing. Instead they raise prices, cut services, lose licenses, and cancel barely finished products. I'm 15 years loyal to this company for this?

And I think about the days of yore, but really not long ago. The preferred shopper's catalogues of department stores, the longtime shopper promotions of industry giants, the award systems for the loyal consumerists of chains and malls. The specialty Christmas items that are today vintage and worth money for their rarity. The thank yous, the special events. The mailers that say "Come to our store loyal customer and receive a free $20 coupon for that day!" And I'm not saying this is good, and of course it's all just marketing and advertisement, and I'm not saying this is the life I want to live...

But I am saying this would be easy for netflix to do, for someone like me. Someone who went from $7 to stream and receive DVDs, who got customers onboard when the model was new and the company was pioneering, to $20 to sit unused but for a month or two out of the year. It would be easy to pull the data. It would be easy to say which accounts have been opened the longest, to actually verify who has given 180 months worth of payments to them. It would be easy to give me a year's discount to say thank you. It would be easy for them to send an email to verify my address to send me merch. Do I want the merch? No, not really. But have they tried?

Have they even sent me an email saying "We appreciate your 15 years of support! We value you!" with little confetti animation? They didn't do it at 10 years. They didn't do it at 5 years. I don't recall ever receiving emails from netflix besides "Unfortunately, our payment model is changing."

As of today, I haven't pulled my account yet. I want to finish Bridgerton, even if this season is a snoozefest. But I think I will. I feel had and used, as pathetic as that sounds. Has Hulu done anything different? I can't remember when I signed up for them but it's been many years. No, but I frankly use it more, so I'm less angry. And with netflix...it's been fifteen years. They have really banked on us being passive in our payments, and accustomed to the freedom of endless choice, and it just feels gleeful that they never even once acknowledged I've been here this whole time. Actually, act like Sears and Bloomingdales 60 years ago, or we quit I think we should say. Ask me my address to send me a glass netflix mug or I'll fuck off, because who do you think you are to think so little of me, the only reason you exist for?

[jo-harrington]

Peak Sales Hours (Eddie Munson x Store Manager!Reader)

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Summary: After his first Black Friday, Eddie is exhausted and takes comfort in his new relationship with you.

Previous Part: Promotion

Warnings/Themes: Established friendship/new relationship, fluff, hurt/comfort(?), idk it's a lot of comfort, working in retail hell, Eddie works at Tape World and Reader is the Store Manager at Claire's in Starcourt Mall, angry customers, weariness

Note: So...hi guys. Welcome back to the Store Manager Verse. This little installment is sort of skipping a step. I had a whole thing planned and half-written of Eddie and our favorite SM actually confessing their feelings and being fluffy...and it's still gonna happen I'm just...on day whatever of work and have a big deadline and have had sleep for lunch the past I-don't-know how many days.

And it just took me back to the countless Black Friday and Peak Holiday shifts where all I wanted was to get back home. So here we are.

You can find my masterlist here.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

___

Never, in his entire life, had Eddie Munson felt more akin to the heroes from his favorite fantasy stories.

Long journeys and harrowing battles.

Deep wounds and comrades lost to the beyond.

Hoards of villains and the promise of a better future if only there was hope.

Taran. Aragorn. Luke Skywalker. They had seen it all.

"What's taking so long? I just need a gift receipt!"

But none of them had ever worked Black Friday.

He had experienced Black Friday before, as a shopper.

Thanksgiving hadn't ever been anything magnificent in the Munson household, especially after his mom died. Wayne and Rick had always tried to make it still feel special for Eddie, with hearty midwest comfort foods.

There would always be a full belly and an even fuller heart with his uncle and his almost-step-dad around. Eddie could never complain.

Then after a late afternoon dinner, Wayne would pack up a plate of leftovers to make his shift at the plant that paid time-and-a-half, plus a little something extra from the plant manager, cash in hand. By the time Eddie woke up the next morning, Wayne would pull up with a box of fresh donuts, honk three times, and they would be on their way to the Kmart on Rt 9 and get some steeply discounted goods with Wayne's holiday pay.

It was always a madhouse, but Eddie could swiftly dodge screaming kids, empathize with over-caffeinated employees, and wait in long lines if he and Wayne didn't need to fret about things like work boots and gloves, t-shirts and underwear, and usually one nice little Christmas gift for each of them.

This year, of course, had been a little different. Wayne had been a little disappointed--he would never admit it, but Eddie could tell--that their tradition would be forsaken for Eddie's shift at the mall. But your addition into the Thanksgiving festivities had been a welcome one.

Eddie had extended the invitation weeks ago, when you mentioned you wouldn't be able to make it home to spend the holiday with your family thanks to work.

You, of course, promised to pull your weight--

"It's always really casual," he tried to ease your worries as you began to fret over what kind of dessert Wayne and Rick might like. "You don't even need to dress up. Come in your pajamas. Rick makes a really good pumpkin pie, and I have my mom's old scalloped potato recipe that will literally put you in a food coma."

"What about turkey?" you asked.

"We don't really do turkey." He shrugged. "There's only three of us. So we do different things every year. Rick usually catches some kind of fish if it's warm enough. Wayne has a good recipe for fried chicken. We were thinking of doing meatloaf..."

"I can do the meatloaf!" You perked up immediately.

--only to show up laden with a roasting pan for the meatloaf, a plastic-wrapped gravy boat full of some kind of mushroom gravy, a salad, and a casserole dish overflowing with green beans, cream-of-something soup, and heaps of french fried onions.

Eddie, of course, scolded you as you shuffled through to the kitchen, much like he had the first time you showed up for dinner at his place. But he also placed a soft peck on your lips, which earned him a bashful smile as you shoo'd him away.

That was a new development to your...friendship, if you could even call it that anymore. There really hadn't been time to discuss the logistics between the frenzied makeout session in his van outside of the Hideout this past Tuesday night and Thanksgiving dinner.

Now that he had been trapped at the cash wrap, ringing out ungrateful customers for the past 8 hours, he was almost loathing his past self for wanting to be a little discreet in front of Wayne and Rick. For not...making himself have the "what are we" conversation with you, because your lips had soothed every frazzled nerve he had the other night.

Knowing that at the end of the day that he wasn't going through it alone, that his girlfriend was also in the mall suffering through the mass chaos and that he could go upstairs and steal a kiss whenever he wanted...well it certainly would have done him a world of good to mentally prepare him for this.

For the entirety of his time working at Tape World, he thought he had been doing a pretty good job. Sure there were some hard days, some rude customers. But at the end of the day, an 8-hour shift was an 8-hour shift, and he was only selling tapes. Not...ending world hunger.

"Ah you say that now," Kyle told him on Wednesday as they were putting together cardboard "dump bins" for the discount tapes that would be placed every 10 feet in the store. "But Black Friday is a beast, and Christmas Eve is worse. You're honestly lucky you only work here and not at, like, Radio Shack or something. My buddy Todd has seen some shit.

"Actually, I'm almost regretting scheduling you as a mid but I needed a second key." Kyle rubbed the back of his neck. "Peak Hours. Mid's a rough shift for Black Friday weekend."

"I'll be fine," Eddie scoffed. "I've done mid shifts before. I'm almost excited. How bad could it get?"

Famous. Last. Words.

He had barely been able to squeeze into the store when it was time for his shift, the line for the cash wrap blocked the way to the stockroom door. As soon as people saw his name tag, they started shouting at him to open the other register, how they needed help; he could barely get a word out to explain that he wasn't clocked in yet. They didn't care.

He was no longer Eddie Munson, Tape World Keyholder and your boyfriend, probably, maybe...

He was a body who could unlock the electronics case and ring them out.

He was a husk who said "welcome in" and "thanks have a great day" and smiled until his face started hurting.

And for the first time since he had gotten this job back at the beginning of summer...it really fucked with him.

His legs were cramped from standing at the Cash Wrap for so long, he wasn't sure which of the associates had his keys, his hair was damp with sweat even if he threw it into a some haphazard bun hours ago.

He'd been yelled at by more people than he could count, counted so much change the edges of his fingers were pretty much stained from all the muck and grime on everyone's money, and had made so many returns from people with buyer's remorse that he was sure they had given more money back than they had made in sales today.

Eddie hadn't even gotten a chance to take his lunch out in the mall and pay you a visit like he typically would. He had just collapsed in the little metal folding chair in the break area of the tiny stock room. Kyle had clapped him on the shoulder with a quick "good job kid" as he left for the day and Eddie hadn't even moved.

"Alright Ed," Paulie shuffled over as Eddie wrapped up the last in a long line of transactions and was about to wave the next customer over. "Quitting time."

Eddie sighed and backed against the counter as Paulie counted him down. The adrenaline of the day finally started to wear off as he came to realize that it was all over, and a weariness unlike the one he had been feeling his entire shift settled deep into his bones.

He went through the motions as he went back to the stockroom to grab his jacket and punch out. He wove his way through the still-crowded store and out into the mall, sighing in relief as the cooler mall air hit him.

It was gonna be a mercy once he got out to his van. He'd drive home with the windows down.

His ears rang as he headed towards the employee entrance and he wondered if it would be worth waiting in line at the Orange Julius before he left or if he should just stop through the McDonald's drive thru or something on his way home.

"Eddie."

But then, he didn't really need to stop for anything. There were leftovers from Thanksgiving dinner at home. He could smoke a little bit, make some kind of meatloaf sandwich, and then sink into his bed.

"Eddie."

And sleep until...

Fuck.

He was gonna have to do it all again tomorrow. And the day after that.

He thought back to his favorite fantasy heroes and wondered how they did it. How they put themselves through endless journeys, practically sacrificed themselves time and again.

And he could barely make it through a shift at the Starcourt Mall of all places.

"Eddie!"

He crashed right into your hands as you planted them on his shoulders and prevented him from absolutely barreling into you.

"Jesus are you ok?" you exclaimed and pulled him off to the side of the walkway to get out of the way of foot traffic.

Was he? Probably not.

"Yeah," he shook his head and answered. He finally looked at you, finally actually saw you. Dressed in your Teen Vogue best, as you called it, although a little worse for wear, if the eyeshadow smeared where it definitely shouldn't be and your jewelry all askew was any indicator. "Yeah I'm fine.

"You sure? You looked like you were in a trance," you explained. "I've been calling your name for a little while."

"Oh shit," he sighed and ran a hand over his face. "Yeah, no...it's...It was just a long day."

You didn't hesitate. Your arms immediately wrapped around him and you pulled him in. Pulled him back from whatever precipice he was about to launch himself off of, and straight into the comfort of you.

---

Before long, Eddie found himself in your apartment, fully upside down with his legs propped against the wall as he enjoyed the Blizzard he'd picked up on the way.

"You know just cuz you can hold it upside down, doesn't mean you're supposed to eat it upside down," you laughed as you filled a pot with water and put it on the stove.

"And what are you, the Blizzard expert," Eddie scoffed. "If you'll recall I was the one who took you to Dairy Queen for the first time."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." You rolled your eyes and turned to grab some cans from the cupboard.

You had offered to make dinner--again--while he vented about his shift. Nothing as spectacular as what you made for Thanksgiving dinner, but it left the leftover meatloaf for Wayne to take for his lunches.

"You're lucky I like your spaghetti sauce," Eddie grumbled, a little sad that he couldn't have his meatloaf sandwich.

So he talked as you ran to your bedroom to rid yourself of the remnants of who you became when you were at Starcourt, and as you emerged the person that, he liked to believe, was reserved especially for him.

He told you about the back to back returns he had dealt with when he came back from lunch as you dropped dried pasta into the boiling water and grated garlic into sizzling oil.

He complained about the man who demanded help from a manager only even though all he wanted was a special edition cassette deck that had all the bells and whistles and anyone with keys could help him. His voice got louder and meaner as he quoted the jackass verbatim, but the sharp strike of your wooden spoon against the side of the pot brought him back down to earth.

And as he finished up his story about having to count Sam's register three times because he forgot that there were large bills under the cash tray, you joined him on the couch with a bowl of steaming hot pasta for each of you.

He righted himself and discarded the empty blizzard cup on your coffee table.

"First Black Friday in the books," you announced and you passed the bowl to him. "I'm proud of you."

"Proud?" Eddie groaned. "Seriously? It was a disaster."

"They always are," you explained sagely.

"You survived," he pointed out.

"So did you."

"Barely."

"So?" you asked and twirled noodles on your fork expertly. "Doesn't that count? This is, like...my 5th Black Friday? My 6th? I count each one as a victory. And so should you."

You leaned over to kiss his cheek, then clinked plates with his in a salute, and then the two of you fell into contented silence as you ate.

As Eddie worked ravenously through the layers of starchy, cheesy, garlicky goodness, he realized that the weariness that had settled within him after his shift had started to alleviate. How he felt more like himself now that he was sitting next to you, basking in the warm glow of your company.

He briefly considered this ritual the two of you had been engaging in for months. The way you shared stories and foods and got closer to one another. He had always been a little worried that things would change if he ever got his wish, if this friendship with you ever became more.

But it was like nothing had changed at all.

He wanted to ask, was tempted to ask, what this was? If this was a date, like all the dates that weren't dates hadn't been before? If you were his girlfriend now?

But then...he recalled the time that you had a bad day and you immediately found relief in him, how he thought that he didn't need to be your knight as long as he could be your home.

And Eddie realized that whatever the two of you decided it would be, whether you were still just his friend, or if you were his girlfriend, or maybe...maybe something else...

You, too, would always be his home at the end of a long battle.

---

Next Part: Disaster Preparedness

Tag List for Store Manager Verse is still temporarily suspended. Thank you for understanding.

[yourplayersaidwhat]

fun fact: this was not the first chain store our coterie has been banned from

Storyteller, already so so upset that we derailed the plot to go to Bass Pro Shop and forced him to roleplay a Bass Pro shopper: ALRIGHT. you get THREE THINGS from Bass Pro Shop.

Brujah: Okay, I get the body armor, the bat, and... anything you want?

Tzimisce: ...I want one of the fish from the pond.

Storyteller, leaning across the table: They. aren’t. real.

Tzimisce, matching his intensity: I. Don’t. Care.

Storyteller: YOU ARE NOW BANNED FROM BASS PRO SHOP