#but anything for our shoppers!

[walmart-counter]

10 Walmarts were counted ! 🎉🎉🎉

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

[giftedpoison]

So I don't know what to do with this information so buckle up I guess.

Hi, my name is Eve and in my real life I used to work at a grocery store (it's a chain but not necessarily a national one so i won't be saying their name for purposes of anonymity).

I worked there from the age of 16 (was hired December 18th 2016). Eventually started working in their shopping department for curbside pickup in 2019, when the department opened. Became a supervisor in the department in November of 2021 (after doing the job for a few years being paid as a part time shopper rather than supervisor) then i was promoted to Lead of the department in Feb. of 2022 (which essentially meant I ordered supplies, dealt with managing a group of 13 individuals and sat in on corporate meetings and the like).

That's my history. I quit in September of 2023. Because the job was trying to kill us all and I hit my breaking point. (My breaking point was when 5 of my employees including myself nearly passed out from over exertion. I say nearly because I forced them to stop and eat and hydrate when it got too bad, i was fighting for management to give me help so we could get breaks out but they wouldn't listen and I ended up absolutely word vomiting my building frustrations with their management style that I had been actively fighting against for well over a year at that point.)

I know I'm a good leader, but management increasingly thought of me as naive and too soft as a leader because I refused to step back and allow abuse of my workers for corporate profit. Despite the fact I would show them statistics and give them nuanced balanced perspectives they let their own biases get in the way.

Three of my shoppers were their main targets. Two of which were neurodivergent and came from a not so great background. The third one wasn't neurodivergent but she came from a broken background that involved drugs and alcohol as a minor she was 19.

I think about the third girl so often. Because I remember she wasn't shopping at the speed they wanted her too (aka the goal for the whole department) which was a valid critique and the manager basically played bad cop which was fine. And I remember after this I was working with this girl and we were running behind that day, to no fault of hers, and i had to come help her finish her shop so we could prepare for the customers to arrive.

And she was panicked. Saying she's really trying and she's afraid she's going to get fired and a bunch of other things as i'm helping her. And I looked at her and tell her. "Listen I've seen you're numbers recently, they aren't where they need to be but i can see you steadily increasing if you keep increasing no matter what the number is by the time management says something again. I will back you. It is okay and me helping you right now is not your fault." I found out recently she no longer shows up to work. And she basically quit. Which was probably in part due to personal issues like the fact her best friend was in coma at one point. And such. And she also got jumped in the parking lot by some girls and the police had to be called. But I can't help but to wonder if I had still been there, if she would have felt safe to keep coming back knowing that there was at least one person in charge in her corner. (now, I know for a fact there is none because I was a one man defense line)

I can't help but to think about my one coworker, one of the neurodivergent ones, who is still routinely get shit about his out of stock list despite back when I was still working there I literally showed them that his numbers averaged out to be about the same as everyone else.

I'm not going to say any of the three were perfect, they didn't always do their best and were sometimes unreliable. But did they deserve to get emotionally abused by one of the supervisors (who i reported over five times, and who also once threatened me but management refused to deal with)? No. Did they deserve to be treated like less than assets when two of them used to come in all the time on their day off to help until they got fed up with being treated like they were lesser?

I think about the time I fought against a capacity increase (literally one of the hours we could have 13 orders drop for one hour with only 2 hours to do it, and maybe 2-3 shoppers to execute it, and that's assuming we had the previous hour completed and actually had a full 2 hours). And then when it went into effect anyway despite me shoving numbers at every higher up I could about how it didn't work for what we had to work with. My one manager told me that's just how you build a business, increasing volume. So I told him it's also how you burn one down. He didn't have a reply.

I asked politely from the store manager that if we called for help, if there was no other employee who could, a manager should help us. And he returned with hedging and saying that "well if there's only one manager on duty that's not really feasible". Even when there were three managers on duty and two of them were standing around talking they did nothing. But don't worry if it was register front end drowning two managers plus a stocker would come to the rescue.

And prior to all this, prior to my Lead position, I didn't know I could be an effective and intelligent leader. Now I know I can, but absolutely no one will listen to me and will routinely talk down on me when they were so interested in me, that they fought corporate when corporate didn't want to give me the promotion and gave me a bigger raise than was protocol because they believed in me. And that belief went down the drain immediately when they realized I would not blindly fall in line.

I feel so bad that I'm no longer on the front lines defending them, and that I failed to give management one last piece of my mind like I was going to, but I know if I stayed there it would have eaten me alive and that it was slowly killing me.

I don't know where to go from here. How to live knowing I have enough intelligence to lead and be fair and nuanced, but having no where to put that to use. I don't know what to do anymore but this one haunts me.

And like I'm not gonna say I was perfect and I definitely didn't know the answers to everything. And I did have my issues. (I was angry but refused to take it out on anyone, I sometimes got so overwhelmed I had to ask someone to take over while I laid on the floor for a second to regain perspective, and I would often have to sit down because I would become light headed and dizzy from the heat outside). But at the very least I fought for them ya know?

[chuluoyi]

✎ baby

- gojo satoru x reader

a domestic life with your husband and baby

genre: teeth-rotting fluff, sugary dump fluff, and simply pure fluffff, baby-related, mentions of pregnancy, dad!gojo

note: inspired by this fanart by Deltapork in twitter! from the moment i saw that artwork, i just can't get this out of my head😫

and this is a part of a series of gojo drabbles i’ve planned called gojo's love entries anthology -> updated masterlist here

general masterlist

Watching your husband entertain your child would never fail to make you smile.

"Aw, my cute baby!" Satoru joyfully exclaimed as he and the baby, secure in his hold, emitted almost harmonious squeals of delight. Both of them practically shared the same brain cells at this point.

And it was a sight that warmed your heart so much, especially when the old Gojo Satoru was a prick who used to made little Megumi cry just for the sake of it and always said that babies and everything that came with them were a pain.

He playfully devoured your son's plump cheeks and burst into laughter, paying no attention to the curious glances he garnered from other shoppers at the supermarket.

"Satoru, hush," you chided gently as you pushed the cart, yet still smiling all the same.

"Ah, look, mama doesn't approve," he remarked to your babbling son, wearing a playful pout. At the same time, your barely seven-month baby puckered his lips too, turning him into a perfect miniature version of your mischievous husband at his best, melting your heart even further.

"It's time for his milk," you pointed out, retrieving the milk bottle. Satoru reached for it and offered it to your baby, who eagerly latched on and started drinking.

Your precious baby continued to feed on the formula, clearly relishing it. It appeared that he couldn't get enough, with the way he drank with such enthusiasm.

"He's a hungry baby... just like you," you mused.

Satoru laughed out loud once again. "Why are you comparing a baby with a grown-ass man?"

Your son was still drinking the milk and seemed like he wanted more, but you could definitely tell how content he was in that moment.

"Because it's your baby, duh. And not only he looks like you, he's also reflecting what you've been doing to me so far, it's uncanny."

"So I've turned our son into a mini-me now, have I." He regarded you with a mischievous glint in his eye. "And what have I done to you, darling? Tell me."

"...A lot of bad things."

"Heh, is that so?"

The baby then stopped drinking and seemed to want you to cuddle him, as he reached his tiny hands towards you. Satoru handed him over to you, taking the bottle away, and you gently pulled him close, cradling him against your chest.

"Yeah. Bad, bad things," you cooed to your baby, your eyes sparkling with joy. "First you seduced me, then got me pregnant. And then you forced me to go through that painful labor."

Satoru didn't miss the way the clerk eyed him after you said that. But he chuckled anyway. "Well... in the end you fell for me, and I probably seduced you a bit..."

He paid for the groceries and then the two of you walked out of the supermarket.

"But is that so bad?" He continued with a meaningful smirk. "You seemed like you love it so there's nothing to complain about."

"Hmph."

"And then I got you pregnant... well, you wanted a baby, dear, so you can't really be mad and blame just me for it all, okay?"

The fact that you were having this crack conversation at a crossroad made you struggle to stifle your laughter, to say the least.

Your son was still cuddling up to your chest and now he was looking at you with those wide, glassy blue eyes. You could tell how much he liked and needed you, as well as spending time with you, his mother.

This is your baby with the man who loves you. How could you not love him in return?

Satoru looked at his son in your arms. “Our son is the cutest, isn’t he?”

He seemed tired more than anything though, with the big yawn he just emitted.

“He is so… defenseless.”

“Well, he’s a baby,” your husband said matter-of-factly. “That’s how babies are, darling. He’s learning how to do things and completely defenseless, so he needs his parents. You and I.”

Your baby’s eyes became a little droopy. He was sleepy now, and wanted your warmth to fall asleep.

“Let’s… protect him together, yeah, Satoru?” you muttered softly as your child settled in your embrace, peaceful and content, falling asleep.

Your heartstrings were pulled when you witnessed the expression of absolute adoration on your husband's face.

“Silly. I’m the one who will protect both of you, sweetheart.”

[theemporium]

thankkk you for the icymi because i did in fact miss the celebration. how about some holiday shopping dates for norstappen?

i hope you're doing well!!!

-🌠

thank you for requesting and thank you for letting me just do this with max!!🫶🏽

.

“I understand why people have personal shoppers now.”

You glanced over at your boyfriend in the driver seat, his eyes shut closed and his seatbelt still not clipped in, like he needed a moment before he even started the car. 

“Victoria would give you so much shit if you used a personal shopper,” you teased, leaning back against the headrest as you let yourself appreciate the sight of your boyfriend unashamedly. “So would I.”

Max’s lips twitched up with a grin as he turned to look at you. “What happened to being a supportive girlfriend?” 

“That ends after the season is over,” you explained. “I will judge all your choices until March now.”

Max’s eyes crinkled as he smiled. “Sounds hot.”

Your nose scrunched up. “Ew, don’t ruin it.” 

But Max only laughed, reaching across to take your hand in his and intertwine your fingers together. “I’m serious though,” he said eventually. “We should do the rest of the shopping online. From the comfort of our bed. Preferably when we are wearing no clothes.” 

You rolled your eyes, but it was fond. “It’s either Red Bull merch or no clothes at all with you.” 

“You say it like it’s a bad thing,” Max retorted. 

You shook your head, turning your attention back towards your phone. “Well, the nudity will have to wait because we still have a bunch of people we need to buy gifts for—”

Max opened his mouth.

“—in person,” you quickly added.

“Our dates used to be about being nude in person,” Max muttered, smirking a little when you let go of his hand to smack his arm. “Kidding, schatz, I love doing anything with you.” 

“This is just you trying to butter me up so you can wait in the car,” you snorted.

Max smiled innocently. “Did it work?” 

“Not a chance, baby,” you grinned back, leaning over the console so you could press a kiss against his cheek. “I need someone to hold all the bags.” 

“Hm, you’re lucky you’re cute,” Max murmured, catching your face in his hands so he could lean in and press his lips against yours. “Plus, I’ve already sorted the kids’ presents so we can cross them off the list.” 

You pulled back, lifting your brows in surprise. “Oh yeah?” 

“A full set of instruments,” Max grinned happily.

You snorted. “Victoria is going to kill you.”

“You would protect me.” 

“Not against her, you are on your own, babe.”

.

[allthingsfangirl101]

Frozen In Time – Tyler Owens

Tyler's POV

"Tell me again why we need six cans of dip?" I whined as I followed my best friend through the grocery store aisles.

"Because," she giggled, "your friends inhale anything I put on the refreshment table."

"We don't have to invite them," I shrugged. She stopped the cart and turned toward me.

"You don't want to invite your friends to your party?"

"To be honest, I don't even know why we're having a party, Y/N," I shrugged as I walked past her and started pushing the cart.

"Because you finishing your degree is a big thing," Y/N said as she caught up to me. I bit back my smile when she looped her arms around one of mine. "I'm proud of you, Owens. It's something we should celebrate."

I stopped and turned toward her. "I don't need a party," I said. "I don't need to drink and celebrate with my friends. It would be just as meaningful if it was just you and me with one of our all-night movie nights."

"But you deserve. . ."

"I deserve you, my best friend, celebrating with me."

"Tyler. . ."

Y/N gasped and practically jumped into my arms when alarms rang throughout the store.

"Attention shoppers," the automatic voice rang through the speakers. "There is a tornado nearby. Please follow the nearest employee to the underground storm cellar."

Y/N looked at me with nothing but fear in her eyes. I instantly grabbed her hand and pulled her to the storm cellar. The second we were inside, I moved her as far away from the door as I could and pulled her so we were sitting down.

I looked at her when I felt her shaking next to me. Without a word, I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her into my side. I forced myself to calm down as I heard Y/N take a shaky breath.

"It's okay," I leaned down and whispered in her ear. My heart jumped into my throat when she cuddled more into me. "It's going to be okay, Y/N. We're going to be okay."

"Tyler," she stuttered. "I'm scared."

"I know," I said as I tightened my arms around her. "But we're safe. Okay? We are going to be okay, Y/N. I promise."

Y/N let out a small shriek when the building shook. I instinctively pulled her closer to my chest. I lost track of time as I turned my focus on comforting Y/N.

What felt like ages later, some rescue personnel opened the cellar doors. We numbly filed out, my hand holding Y/N's the entire time. But the second we got outside, Y/N pulled her hand out of mine and walked away.

I wanted nothing more than to run to her, wrap her in my arms, and reassure her that I would never leave her side. But for some stupid reason, I didn't. Instead, I let her walk away.

~ Three Months Later ~

The last couple of months have not been easy. After the storm, I've tried reaching out to Y/N but she hasn't answered. She doesn't text me back or answer my calls, and every voicemail goes unanswered. When I couldn't take her silence anymore, I went to visit her at the bookstore where she works.

"Tyler?" Y/N stuttered when she turned around and noticed me.

"Hey, Y/N," I smiled as I couldn't help but look her up and down.

"What are you doing here?" She asked as she turned and went back to restacking the books.

"It's been a while," I said, lightly. "I wanted to see what you were up to. . . and if you were okay."

"Why wouldn't I be okay?"

I stared at her and could see how tired she was. I sighed as I took a step towards her. "Y/N. . ."

"Y/N," her boss interrupted me, "I need you to go downstairs and grab a box of books."

"Downstairs?" Y/N stuttered. "In the. . ."

"The basement," her boss nodded as she walked away. I watched as Y/N stood frozen.

"Y/N," I said her name gently. "Are you okay? Do you want me to. . ."

"I'm fine," she cut me off. My heart sank as she turned and started heading toward the basement. I watched as she hesitated at the basement door. The second she opened the door, I quickly followed her.

When I started walking down the basement stairs, Y/N was frozen at the bottom. I jogged down the stairs and Y/N was still on the last step.

"Y/N?" I whispered her name. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she stuttered. I went to grab her shoulders but she stepped away. I followed close behind her as she looked for the box her boss wanted. Suddenly, someone walked into the store. Them closing the door made the basement window shake. When it shook, Y/N gasped. I ran to her and instantly grabbed her shoulders.

"It's okay," I whispered as I rubbed her arms. "It was just a customer. It's okay."

We stayed like that for a few minutes, until Y/N calmed down. When she did, she looked over her shoulder and I could see the embarrassment settling in her eyes.

"Y/N," I tried to start again.

"I need to find that box," she said as she gently brushed past me.

As I watched her search for the books, memories of three months ago flooded my brain. I remembered how scared she was. I remembered how tightly she hung on to me. I remembered the relief I felt when the storm passed and I knew that Y/N and I were safe. I remembered the haze in her eyes as we left the basement and got somewhere safe. I remembered the quiver in her voice when she lied and said she was fine. I remembered the feeling in my gut that she wasn't okay when she walked away from me. I remembered the worried feeling getting worse the longer she ignored my calls.

"Y/N, we need to talk about this."

"Talk about what?" She shrugged as she found the box and picked it up.

"The storm."

Those two simple words made Y/N freeze.

"Why. . . Why would. . . Why would we need to talk about that?"

I walked over and took the box out of Y/N's hands. I put it on top of a stack of boxes and turned back toward her. I grabbed her hands and instantly felt how badly they were shaking.

"Y/N, that storm was not a little one," I started to say the thing I've rehearsed too many times. "It was one of the worst storms our town has seen in years. I mean, we were stuck in that basement for almost five hours and. . ."

"I know!" Y/N yelled, cutting me off as she ripped her hands out of mine. She turned away from me and tightened her arms around herself. "You don't need to remind me, Tyler," she continued, her voice breaking. "I haven't stopped thinking about it. How could I? It was the longest four hours and 53 minutes of my life. I have never been more scared, more unsure that I would make it out of there. I have nightmares about it every night.”

"I thought I. . . Didn't I help you?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Of course you did," Y/N said as she quickly turned toward me. "You helped me more than you know, Ty. If you weren't in that basement with me. . . I wouldn't have survived. You always help me."

"Good," I whispered, just now noticing how close we had gotten. My eyes glanced down at her lips, only thinking about what it would feel like to press mine to hers. Y/N sighed as she looked at the box.

"Y/N," I stopped her before she could step away from me. "Promise me that the next time you have a nightmare, you call me."

"I'm not going to call you, Tyler," I sighed. "My nightmares usually wake me up at, like, 3 am."

"I don't care, Y/N," I shook my head. "I want you to call me. No matter what time or how many times, I want you to call me so I can talk you down or come help you."

Y/N studied me as she asked, "You'd really do that? You'd really drive all the way to my apartment at 3 in the morning because of a silly nightmare?"

"It's not a silly nightmare," I said gently. "It's haunting you. And all I want is to help you."

"Tyler. . ." She stuttered.

"Promise me," I pushed. "Please?"

She bit her bottom lip and nodded. The longer I stared at her, the harder it was to hold my confession for another minute.

"Y/N. . ."

"Y/N! Did you find the box?" Her boss yelled.

"Yeah!" Y/N yelled back but her voice slightly cracked. "I found it. Bringing it up now."

"Wait," I said, grabbing her wrist before she could go back upstairs. "There's something I need to do. Something that I have been kicking myself in the ass for not doing sooner."

I heard Y/N gasp as I pulled her into my chest and kissed her. I felt everything slow down and my whole body relaxed as she kissed me back. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her even closer. She moaned as I gently bit her bottom lip. We broke apart, with matching cheeky smiles on our faces.

"Have you really been kicking yourself in the ass for not kissing me sooner?" Y/N asked, a small smirk forming on her face.

"Absolutely," I whispered. "You're my best friend, Y/N, but you mean more to me than you know. And I promise, whatever we face, whether it be a small rainstorm or horrible tornado, I will always keep you safe."

[corroded-hellfire]

Gimme A Break - Eddie Munson x Reader

An As You Wish Story

Collaboration with my beloved @munson-blurbs

Summary: A trip to the grocery store has you running into some familiar faces--and one not so friendly.

Note: Let Brittany bashing commence!

Warnings: talk of body image

Words: 2k

[As You Wish masterlist]

In your opinion, there’s no such concept as a bad time for soup. The dead of winter, the stifling heat of summer—it’s all good. 

The fall weather that’s rolled into Hawkins has inspired you to try your hand at making some from scratch, bringing you to Bradley’s Big Buy on a Sunday afternoon. You’re inspecting a bag of carrots for freshness and tossing them in the cart haphazardly when you feel a sudden thump against your leg. 

“Wha—” you start, ready to confront whoever was careless enough to ram into you. Your scowl immediately softens when you see the two smiling faces looking up at you. “Oh, hi boys!”

Luke, unsurprisingly, is the one who ran into you at full speed. Ryan is a few paces behind his bull-in-a-china-shop brother, but his expression is equally happy. 

You crouch down to give each of them a hug. The way they both wrap their arms around you radiates love’s warmth, and it melts your heart. 

“Are you buying anything good?” you ask, knowing they’ll be wholly unimpressed with your basket full of vegetables. 

Luke nods vigorously. “CHICKEN NUGGETS!” He bellows, drawing irate glares from nearby shoppers. “Daddy has a cool-pon.”

“It’s coupon,” Ryan says with a gentle roll of his eyes. 

You’re still stuck on the mention of their dad. Eddie’s here? And you don’t have on a lick of makeup—of course. 

“Where is Daddy?” you ask, looking up and down the aisle in the unlikely event that you missed him. 

“He’s uh…” Luke trails off, scrunching his nose as he searches for his dad. Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain” crinkles over the PA system after being interrupted by a call for assistance in the frozen food department as Brittany appears at the end of the aisle.

An irritated voice calls out from the end of the aisle. “What’s taking you two so—oh. You’re here.” Brittany crosses her arms over her chest, huffing out an impatient sigh when she spots you. 

Luke pipes up, still attached to your leg. “We can’t find the asper-, uh, aparag, the um…”

“Asparagus,” Brittany corrects him as if the five-year-old should be able to pronounce words perfectly by this age.

“Oh,” you say, turning to exactly where you know the asparagus is. “Here you go.”

Ryan gladly takes it from you with a grin. Huh, maybe there is a Munson who shares your affinity for veggies. It certainly isn’t Luke—or Eddie, for that matter. 

“You’re the best!” he says cheerfully, placing it in the cart that Brittany’s been pushing.

“Boys.” It almost sounds like she’s admonishing them for being kind to you. She looks at you with unkind eyes. “Maybe you should work here instead of for us,” she says, trying to play it off as a joke, but you can tell there’s some underlying threat. 

Luke is not amused by this, his little fingers digging into your leg as he clutches onto your jeans even tighter. “No! She has to be our babysitter forever and ever!” He pouts, eyes welling up with tears at the mere mention of you leaving. 

“Maybe not forever,” Ryan points out, always the practical one, “because one day we’ll be grown-ups with our own kids—”

“And then she can babysit them!” Luke declares, proud of his idea, loosening his grip on you. 

Brittany shakes her head, immediately eschewing the notion. “C’mon, let’s get going,” she says tersely. “Dad’s gonna be wondering where we are.” The cruel curl of her lip serves as a painful reminder of what’s hers; more specifically, what isn’t yours. 

As if on cue, Eddie meanders out from a nearby aisle, a canister of quick oats tucked under his arm. He’s wearing gray sweatpants that lay low on his hips and leave little to the imagination. Somehow on this brisk autumn day you have sweat beading along the back of your neck as you take him in.

“You’re So Vain” fades out on the speakers above, only to start playing the infectious opening notes of “Uptown Girl” by Billy Joel.

“Britt, I couldn’t find the old-fashioned kind, but will this—oh, hey,” Eddie says, stopping in his tracks to acknowledge you. “You here to make sure these gremlins don’t lock themselves in the ice cream freezer?”

Luke grins, lets go of your leg, and takes your hand proudly in his as if it was somehow all his doing that you’re here in the grocery store the same time as they are. 

“Hi,” you greet before realizing you have a dopey smile on your face. “Uh, yeah. And it seems like I got here just in time. This one here almost had the lid off a rocky road before I caught him.” You shake Luke’s small hand in your own for emphasis and the boy wrinkles his nose up at you, the spitting image of his father.

Eddie chuckles and goes to respond, but his wife cuts him off.

“I guess those oats will work,” she says as she takes the canister from him—or snatches it, more like. “Come on, we didn’t even get to the dairy section yet.”

“Or,” Luke ventures, his hand gripping yours tighter in the chill air of the produce section, “we could get a cow in the backyard and get our milk that way.”

Eddie chuckles. “Hard pass, little man. We had to bring in reinforcement just to handle you and your brother.” He looks over and winks at you. 

It takes all of your strength and will power not to immediately vomit right then and there at the wink. Such a simple gesture from this man has you ready to lose all control of your body. 

Brittany huffs, clearly annoyed at the interaction. How dare anyone be having a conversation in her presence that doesn’t revolve around her? 

“Well, we need to keep shopping.” Brittany turns on her heel, spotting a red bag of fun-size KitKats in her husband’s other hand. “And put that back. The last thing you need is more junk food.” Her eyes flit down to his stomach, which has softened with time and a steady diet of pretzels and Mountain Dew.

The tips of Eddie’s ears turn pink, and he tries to hide them behind his curls. He clears his throat, the whole time avoiding your eyes, and tosses the KitKat bag onto an empty spot of a nearby shelf. He’s clearly embarrassed, but you’re seeing red. Fury scorches you from the inside out and it’s so potent that it might just dry up some of the vegetables around you. There have been many times in the past where you’ve wanted to tell Brittany off, but this one takes the cake. The callous yet truthful words rest on the tip of your tongue, but you know it would only make the mess bigger for everyone involved. You don’t want to add any extra stress for Eddie. Brittany is the one who should be embarrassed for treating her husband that way, not Eddie. That man is drop dead gorgeous and he still would be if he inhaled a bag of those KitKats every single day. 

Leave it to Luke to break the tension that he wasn’t even aware of was surrounding them all on this produce aisle. The young boy spies a can of spinach on the shelf and snatches it up, staring at it with wide eyes.

“Will this make me strong like Popeye?!”

“Sure, sweetie,” Brittany says, not paying any attention to her youngest son whatsoever. 

Brittany turns and heads towards the end of the aisle, no goodbye to you, no saying where she’s going, just leaving and assuming the guys will follow behind her. 

“We’ll see you tomorrow after school, right?” Ryan asks, bouncing excitedly on the balls of his feet.

“I’ll be there,” you assure him, booping the tip of his nose. He gives you a quick, strong hug around your middle.

Luke, still holding on to the can of spinach, blows you an overdramatic kiss which you pretend to almost drop into a bed of lettuce. The little boy giggles and it’s one of the best sounds you’ve ever heard. 

Eddie takes a step closer to you, still feeling the sting of embarrassment, and speaks in a soft voice. “We, uh, should get going.” Eddie clears his throat. It kills you to see how Brittany zaps the life out of him. “I’ll—we’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“I’ll be there,” you promise once again. 

Eddie offers you a small smile before turning to his sons. 

“All right, come on. Let’s catch on up to Mom.”

The boys don’t look too enthused about that, and it warms your heart that they’d rather stay here and hangout with you. 

“Bye guys,” you say, waving to all three of them as they head down the aisle.

Once they’re gone you heave a heavy sigh. Being in Brittany’s presence for two minutes was exhausting enough, you have no idea how those three manage to live with her.

You try to refocus on your shopping, however impossible that might seem now. When you’re checking over the items you already have and look back up at the shelves, you spot the red KitKat bag that Eddie had wanted to buy. There’s no hesitation at all to pick it up and add it to your pile of groceries.

The Munson car isn’t hard to spot as you step out into the parking lot of the store. You see it almost every day and the gorgeous, familiar looking man loading groceries into the trunk is also a huge indicator. 

Not surprisingly, Brittany is in the car while Eddie does all the work. The boys are in the backseat and from what you can make out of their silhouettes, they’re arguing with one another. They’re kids, they’d probably be more of a hindrance than help to Eddie. But Brittany could at least be doing something. 

Steeling your nerves, you take a deep breath and head over to him. 

“Eddie?”

His head whips around. “Hey,” he says with a small smile. “Everything okay?”

“Mhm,” you nod, summoning all of your courage and handing him the candy. “You left these on the shelf.” You try to play it off casually, but the slight tremble in your voice gives your nervousness away. 

He starts to take them but pulls back. “I probably shouldn’t,” he mumbles, shoving his hand into his pocket. “Britt’s been on me to lose the ‘dad weight’ for a while.”

You shake your head, mostly to keep from opening your mouth and saying something about his wife that you’ll regret.

“I think you look good,” you say. “Um, like, you don’t need to lose any weight.” You’re perfect the way you are, you ache to tell him, but you shouldn’t. You can’t. 

Eddie senses that you have words unspoken, but he doesn’t press further. “Well, um, thanks.” He takes the bag and opens it, grabbing two before giving it back to you. “Can’t get caught,” he explains with a laugh. 

You grin at him, an idea already taking form. “I’ll bring one each day I babysit. Sneak it in like contraband.”

“As long as the boys don’t find it first,” Eddie chuckles, crossing his arms over his chest. “The last thing they need is more sugar.”

You agree with a laugh. “Deal.”

Eddie tucks the KitKats into his jacket pocket. 

“Thank you, by the way,” he says softly. 

“No problem. Just some candy,” you shrug. 

He shakes his head. “No, it…” he trails off. “Just…thank you.”

You smile as he ducks into the driver’s seat, and you walk back to your own car. As you pack up the back with your groceries, you mentally calculate how long this bag of KitKats will last if you bring Eddie one every day that you work. You purse your lips as you slam the trunk closed.

“That’s not nearly long enough for my liking,” you mumble to yourself as you slip into the driver’s seat.

Once you put the key in the ignition, the car rumbles to life and the purr of the engine sounds like it’s coming from your brain as it churns out an idea. 

You smile to yourself and shift your car into gear.

“Guess I’ll just have to buy some more bags of candy.”

[carefreecoffee]

Fluffmas Day 11: Holiday Shopping w/Bakugou Katsuki

Word count: 2k, Gender-neutral reader

Bakugo was walking beside you through the mall, keeping a hand on your waist, while the Bakusquad followed behind you and him. "Why do we have to come here again?" Bakugo muttered to you.

“It's christmas time, duh! Gotta find presents for family and stuff” You look around tentatively at the stores around you, trying to find a good starting point.

Bakugou rolled his eyes, but said nothing, as he continued to walk with you, keeping close and glancing around at the other shoppers, as the rest of the baku squad talked together, trying to decide on what stores to go to first.

Kirishima finally spoke up, his eyes on the many different stores ahead of them. "Guys look! The new Crimson Riot merch came out today!! we gotta go see it!!" He exclaimed, before he immediately started to rush off and towards the merch store.

You watch him rush off. “I guess a bit of pro hero merch wouldn't be a bad gift.” You take Bakugou's hand into your own, guiding into the store as the others follow. Bakugo allows you to take his hand without any complaints, letting you drag him towards the store.

He glanced around at the other Pro-Hero merchandise being sold, his eyes stopping on the Crimson Riot merch. Kirishima was staring at the collection of merch, like a kid in a candy store, his excitement level off the charts. He quickly rushed forward, grabbing a new Crimson Riot plushie and a hoodie off the shelf.

Mina, Sero and Denki slowly dispersed throughout the shop as well, picking up a few pieces of merch that they wanted, while Bakugo stuck close to you, his hand still holding yours. He glanced down at the items you were picking up and looked at you. "Who's that for?" He asked, gesturing towards the collection of merch in your arms.

“I've been meaning to pay Mina back for a favor, i think she'd like some new merch for her collection” You grin, holding a Midnight plushie in your hand along with a Ryukyu keychain.

"Of course you're getting Raccoon Eyes something..." He said with a small sigh, shaking his head slightly. "Can you at least get something for someone else before you get Raccoon Eyes somethin’?"

“Hm?” You tilt your head, glancing at him. “Oh! Well i can't get you anything yet since you're with me” You playfully nudge him, scooching the items into your arms.

Bakugou rolled his eyes, but a small smirk tugged at his lips. "I meant other people, idiot..." He said, using his free hand to ruffle your hair gently.

“Orrrrr maybe I already have” Giggling as you look over the multitudes of hero memorabilia. Bakugo's eyebrows furrowed slightly, and he looked down at you with a surprised expression. "You actually already got me a present? When the hell did you even do that?" He asked, looking quite surprised.

“Can't tell, it's a secret!” You say, eyes scanning for a present material. Katsuki picks up an Endeavor plush, smirking. "What if I got this one for icy-hot?" You look at the plush in his hand as your eyes widen. “Now that's just mean! He’d probably burn it on the spot.” 

Bakugou grunts in agreement. “Yeah, probably a waste of money, not that I'd spend any on that half and half bastard.” 

You chuckle, knowing this is just how he was and that he was picky about who he’d actually spend his money on. You pick up random merch ranging from Mirko and Best Jeanist to Fatgum and Gang Orca. You pick up the plush material, looking at it longingly in thought. Bakugou’s focus shifts to the plushie in your hands. "What exactly are you staring at that plushie for, idiot?" He asked, nudging his elbow against your side.

“Oh- nothing just...just thinking about how when we're pros, we'll have plushies of our own” You grin, setting it down. He thought about that for a moment, his eyebrow raising in slight confusion.

"It's a bit weird thinking about having plushies of ourselves, isn't it?" He said, pausing for a moment, before a sly grin spread across his face. "Although, I bet my plushie will look damn better than yours."

You shove his shoulder, “Oh shut up” You head over to the register, ready to check out. Bakugo rolled his eyes once again, but smirked back, enjoying your banter, as he followed after you. "Don't get mad just cause you know my plushie will look better." He teased.

The two of you check out, getting out of the store before the others. You look at Kirishima with a wave, “Hey! We're gonna go look around the mall more, guys” Kirishima looked over at you, and nodded with a smile. "Alright! We'll let you know when we're done, okay?" He said, waving to you, before the rest of the bakusquad returned their attention to browsing the collection of Pro-Hero merch.

Once the others' attention was off of you and Bakugo, he turned back to you, still grasping your hand on his own. "So, where the hell are we heading off to now?" He asked. You shrug, “Wherever you want, we've got time”

He glanced around, thinking for a moment, before he shrugged as well. "Come on..." He tugged on your hand, before he started to stride off, pulling you along with him. Bakugou led you through the mall, weaving through the other Christmas shoppers. His pace was a bit faster than normal, causing you to almost have to jog to keep up with him.

He didn't say anything, just held your hand, and kept walking. It seemed like he had a destination in mind. Every now and then he would glance back to make sure you were keeping up. Eventually, you both come to a stop in front of a jewelry store. They had a large variety of different types of jewelry, from necklaces, to rings, and even hair clips.

Bakugo turned back to look at you, a slight look of uncertainty on his face, before he reached out and grabbed your other hand as well, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles. "I want you to pick something out." He said, his tone lacking much of his normal gruffness, instead replaced with a slight hint of softness.

You raise your brows skeptically. “What? Are you sure?! This is like....the most expensive place in here!”

Bakugo rolled his eyes, shaking his head slightly. "I'm sure. I want to get you something special for Christmas, I won't take no for an answer." He said in a firm tone, his expression set in a determined glare, that only showed he had made up his mind. “Why not give it to me for Christmas then?” You grin, heading toward the glimmering cases.

Bakugo followed after you, a slight pout forming on his face as he shook his head. "No way in hell I'm gonna wait that long, and I want to see you wear it as soon as possible."

“Touché” Your eyes rake over the amalgamations of diamonds and rhinestones, eyes in awe. Bakugo stayed beside you, looking at the various jewelry with an almost blank expression. He glances at your face, noticing the awestruck look in your eyes. He smiles softly, glad to see you happy like that. He gently squeezed your hand, before he spoke. "See anything you like yet, idiot?"

You shake your head, “What do you think would look nice?” Bakugo thought for a moment, he tilted his head, before speaking. "Gold. It looks better on you than silver." He said, before he looked back down at the jewelry. His eyes glanced over the necklaces and bracelets, trying to think of something that would look good on you.

"Maybe...a necklace...or a bracelet?" He mumbled softly. He called over a worker to take out a set of jewelry, his fingers gently wrapping around a thin, gold chain, the chain attached to a small, gold heart.

Bakugo carefully picked it up, looking at it for a moment, before he grabbed a matching bracelet. He looked over at you, holding out the items. "Try them on." He said, with a small commanding tone. You tilted your head before letting him put on the bracelet, lifting your hair up for easier access to your neck. 

His movements were surprisingly gentle, as he placed the necklace around your neck, before carefully fastening the clasp and laying it against your skin.

He ran his fingers over the necklace once, before he stepped back, admiring you for a moment, before gesturing towards the mirrors. "Go look at yourself, idiot." He said, a slight smirk on his face.

You turn to look toward the mirror, seeing the charm on your necklace glimmer in the bright lights of the shop, eyes in awe at the sight of it on your skin.” 's really cute!”

Bakugo watched you admiring the jewelry in the mirrors. His smirk widened as he watched a smile spread across your face. He crossed his arms over his chest as he spoke. "Told you it would look good on you." He said, an almost proud tone in his voice.

You hum, moving toward him once more, having him take off the necklace and bracelet for him to purchase, “Guess I should trust you more often, Blasty” He rolled his eyes, but chuckled back nonetheless as you handed him the items, his hands wrapping around them.

"You definitely should, idiot." He said, before he turned and walked over to the cash register. He spent a few minutes paying for the items, the whole time, the grin never leaving his face.

Your eyes widen a bit as the items are rung up, the amount more than you could imagine. You mutter softly, “Kat’s thats- thats a lot of money!”

He gives you another eye roll as he turns back to you. "I know it is." He said bluntly, his voice showing off his lack of concern about the price. As soon as the items are safely in the bag, and he has a hold of the bag, he is suddenly tugging your hand again, pulling you out of the shop and back into the rest of the mall.

He comes to a sudden halt right outside of the shop, before he turns to you, a firm look on his face. "I'm putting the necklace and bracelet on you, and you're gonna wear them right here. No arguments."

Bakugo gently removed the items from the bag, with the same gentle demeanor as before. He reached up and unfastened the necklace, then carefully wrapped it around your neck, before he refastened the necklace, the small charm laying against your skin, in the center of your collar bone.

He then does the same with the bracelet, a look of concentration on his face, as he fastens the buckle, before gently wrapping his hand around your wrist, admiring the sight of the bracelet on your wrist. He slowly lowered your hand back down, and his small smirk returned once again.

You look at him, cheeks warm and face gleaming with joy. “Thank you, Kats! Really” Bakugo's smirk softened as a hint of a blush appeared on his cheeks as you thanked him. He gave your hand a small squeeze, before he spoke up.

"It's Christmas you idiot. Course I'm gonna get you something. I would have anyway even if it wasn't Christmas..." He mumbled softly, glancing away, an almost sheepish look on his face. You smile and lean up, pecking his cheek and taking his hand into your newly decorated one. “Love you, dork. Now c'mon we gotta find the others”

Bakugo's blush darkens at your comment, his eyes widen slightly. Though he doesn't pull away or protest. Instead he gives your hand another squeeze and intertwined his fingers with yours. "I love you too, idiot."

He glanced around and sighed heavily, his expression becoming slightly annoyed again. "Yeah yeah, we've gotta go find the dipshits..."

Please request! <3

{Taglist: @staygoldsquatchling02}

[fuck-customers]

I caught a coworker of mine, who has been causing everyone in the department (and also upper management) all sorts of problems for literal years, using managerial permissions to commit fraud.

I wouldn't have thought to pay attention if she wasn't a shifty jerk, and I probably wouldn't have cared if her pulling stuff like this didn't frequently and consistently cause problems for myself and my other coworkers. She's tried to throw all of us under the bus for her nonsense at least once.

The issue is, nobody has been able to prove she's doing it. She invents sale prices, voids things she shouldn't, steals and scalps merchandise, gives special discounts to her friends, etc. But "nothing" could be "proven" (aka our loss prevention department never bothered because they'd rather chase down innocent shoppers who look suitably shaggy or dirty or not white, which is a whole other story).

Well. I finally managed to get proof. Photos, a date and time to check the cameras, even a reprinted receipt of the transaction with her name on it, plus pictures of the indicated merchandise to prove she more than halved the price of high–ticket items in addition to what their actual sale was.

So explain to me why the loss prevention manager is telling me that what I submitted literally does not COUNT as proof? Spending two minutes on the camera to confirm will show that it happened, AND that the customers she rang up set off the door alarm. A door that was supposed to be locked to customers at the time, that she opened specifically for them, presumably so they wouldn't get receipt–checked at our open door. It would also show all the voids she rang up that should have demanded an override, but didn't, meaning she used her own override to authorize the changes.

I'm not sure what to do besides escalate, because that employee needs to go. Everyone agrees that she does. But I'm worried that doing so will just mark me as the problem employee between the two of us. Even the managers don't care, and are letting her still work the registers.

I should quit. This isn't the first time things have been swept under the rug that should have been dealt with, in favor of harassing employees who work hard and work beyond their position's pay or parameters. But anything that's available means either a big cut in pay, or just dealing with the same issues somewhere else.

I hate working somewhere that prefers keeping mean, dishonest people happy over respecting people who don't pose an active liability to the company (fuck capitalism and all that, but it's still annoying when I get punished for stupid stuff all the time while she gets managerial responsibilities and frames people and steals)

Posted by admin Rodney

[skymar13]

Back to school with the bakusquad

Bakugo

ᜊ He is definitely the most boring school supply shopper

He’s not getting nothing special plain note books and book bag

Definitely splurges on pens bc he’s picky abt the tip and won’t lend them out so don’t even ask

Carries extra deodorant and cologne (he’s scared to smell)

Very organized!!!

Gets sticky notes and uses them all by the end of first semester

Doesn’t follow the teacher supply list js gets what he’s gonna need

Overall don’t expect the most extra person ever #minimalisticqueen

Kirishima

ᜊ He gets the supplies with designs

the shark backpack

All red and black note books

He’s either an asks for a pen every class kid or has everything he needs

Doesn’t get supplies that will make studying easier until he sees bakugos set up

Definitely gets folders that say “be the best you can be” or “just do it” bc he thinks it’s manly

Over all he’s js a teen boy

Does take atleast body mist (axe warrior)

Denki

ᜊ tbh would he even go school supply shopping? Let’s say he does

Gets a child backpack (points if it’s pikachu) that rips the first week of school so he ends up with a plain yellow back pack

Gets the note books with designs on it specifically the ones with the cats or puppies

Buys like a five pack of pens and pencils but loses them (he’s gna ask for one every single class no doubt)

Buys a slap bracelet ruler pretending that he’s going to need it

Over all he’s a walking meme when it comes to school

Doesn’t take extra hygiene

Sero

ᜊLowkey another bakugo

He doesn’t get anything special except maybe his note books and pens so that they’re color coded but other than that the basic essentials

Has had the same jansport since middle school bc it’s lasted this long

Another person who steals bakugos study habits and buys every thing bakugo has on his desks

Has atleast one note book with a cat in a basket that denki gave him when he was one short

Got glue and made slime with it with denki

Has the class water bottle

Overall he’s me

Takes mini deodorant and gum

Mina

ᜊ our fav Y2K girly

She’s going all out with pink everything

Cheetah print back pack!!

Buys all pink note books (and the sparkly ones) and buys the 40 pack of pens and highlighters she’s a machanical pencil girly (0.7 bc me too) doesn’t study but has the SHEIN packs bc she tried to be that girl in the beginning of the year

The class girl who has an emergency kit with every size and perfume

Brings a makeup bag that takes up half of her back pack space

Jirou

ᜊ OUR BASIC WUEEN

She gets the bare essentials but still has everything she needs she has two pens and two note books that last her all year

Basic backpack

Takes hygiene

Has back up head phones (will not be catching her lacking)

Doesn’t color code but studied well

Bought an emergency bag first year and still hasn’t touched it by third year

Gets annoyed when ppl ask to borrow her things bc she wants it to last (denki)

[ivorydragoness44]

Red Hood x Reader: Convenient

Word Count: 962 Warnings/Notes: Inspired by the Batman: Wayne Family Adventures. Masked men enter the convenient store that the Reader is in, no harm comes to the Reader, Red Hood knocking out bad guys Summary: While shopping, the Reader spots masked men entering the store. Jason is on the way, but when will he arrive?

~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~

  Sunshine, it was not the usual weather for Gotham City. A rarity in its own right. Were you out and enjoying the surprisingly pleasant day? Technically, yes. Despite the change in weather as of late, you found yourself indoors. Granted, you had to leave your home before entering another building.   Currently, you were doing some light shopping in a convenient store. In a single hand, you managed to cradle a few essentials: floss, a box of bandages, and a pack of pens.   As you looked over the items, you wondered if you were forgetting anything. Standing in one aisle, you decided to take out your phone to make a call.   “How’s my favorite person?” Jason asked, answering your call rather quickly.   “Hi, Jay,” you giggled. “I’m at that one convenient store and was wondering if you needed anything while I’m—” You paused, your breath catching at the sight across from you.   “What is it?” His tone changed dramatically, loosing its happy charm.   “Two masked men,” you whispered and ducked down. Curling up, you knelt next to a hip-height basket of DVDs.   Jason cursed. “Just stay quiet and remain hidden. I’m on my way.”   Ending the call, you quickly set your phone to silent and stashed it away into your bag. The attempt to stay calm would be another story entirely. You could feel your heart beat against your chest and an uncomfortable warmth spread over you.

  Laughter from the front of the store filtered to your ears. How many were there? You had seen at least two enter through the main doors. As time ticked by, you strained you ears to determine their whereabouts in the store.   Presumably, they stayed primarily toward the front of the store. The front counter, the cashier counter, was the likely target. Anyone wearing a black ski mask in a Gotham store was always up to no good. No good and money.   The strangest part of it all was the talking. They seemed almost conversational. Both with each other and the other silent shoppers. The words strange and weird both came to mind.

  Taking a much needed breath, you hoped that Jason would arrive faster than time felt at the moment. It dragged and stilled, but you knew that he would show up. Then again, you did not now how far away he was at the time of the call. What if he—?   Footsteps closed in on your hiding spot. Your heart sank to the bottom of your stomach.   “Hey there.”   You had been spotted.   The masked man kneeled down in front of you. “Whatcha hiding down there for?”   Initially, you did not want to answer. For one thing, it was obvious. However, you thought it would be better than risking angering him. You did not know either of their intentions or reactions to such things.   “I was shopping for floss,” you said as simply as you could manage.   “Floss? You floss?”   Keep him talking. Distracted. “Yeah, some times its hard to find the good kind.”   His eyes widened in amazement. “There’re different kinds?”   Another bad guy called over to him. “Hey, man, hurry up!”   “Hang on, I was asking a question!” He turned back to you expectantly.   “The cheap kind is like using a rubber-band,” you complained, “and the wax flakes off. It’s horrible.”   “Wow, that—”   “DON’T MOVE!” A booming and threatening voice demanded at the entrance of the store.   Making an instant fist, you punched the man in front of you. As he spun from the impact, you pinned him down on his stomach. The items within your grasp, now on the floor behind you.   “AH!”   “Red Hood!”   “Hey, man!” The men closest to the vigilante spoke with a certain amount of familiarity. “We’ve kept our masks on.”   “Good.” The altered voice beneath the helmet did not sound at all pleased. “Now, where’s the third one?”   Groaning, the man beneath you managed to raise a slow hesitant hand. “Here.”   Red Hood stepped into view, guns up at the ready, at the end of the aisle. A small impressed laugh made you look up at him. “Things seem to be going well for you,” he said, overlooking the goon. “Now,” he said, turning to the others, “you know what time it is.”   The masked man dropped his head onto the floor defeatedly.   “Yeah.” The two other men mumbled sadly before being swiftly knocked out by Red Hood.

  The jacket wearing vigilante walked over as you remained perched on top of the criminal’s back.   “Please make it quick,” he said into the floor. “My throat hurts.”   THWACK!   Holstering his weapons, Red Hood reached out a gloved hand for you to take.   As you stood, you looked into the helmet’s white eyes. Knowing that your dashing hero was behind it, made you feel all the more safe. “Thank you.”   “You’re very welcome. Although…it looked like you had a handle on the situation.”   You smirked. “Only when you showed up yelling.”   He placed his hands on his hips. “So I was the distraction you needed?”   “Yes,” you snickered. “Thank you for the assist.”   “I feel like I should be insulted…but I’m feeling too proud for that so…” Stepping around you, he knelt down to pick up the items you were going to purchase and handed them to you. “You might as well get another pack of floss. That one’s on sale.” Afterward, he leaned in and whispered. “I’m glad you’re okay.”   You smiled.   “Are you busy later?”   Faking astonishment, you gasped at him. “Red Hood, I’m flattered, but I do have a boyfriend.” Playfully, you shoved his shoulder as you walked passed, smothering a laugh on your walk to the check out counter. All the while, you felt his gaze on you the entire time.

~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~

Thank you for reading. If you'd like, check out my pinned post on my blog for more fanfiction!

[wishcamper]

Nessian Week Day 1 - Banter

For our first day of @nessianweek here's a little drabble of our favorite couple doing what they do best.

They flirt. They fight. They fuck. You know the drill.

You can read it here or on ao3!

Win Lose or Draw

Cassian and Nesta take a vacation to Day, where a lot more ends up in their mouths than they bargained for.

CW: consensual sexual content

“I fucking dare you.”

“You think I won’t?”

The scorpion dangled from Nesta’s fingers by a claw, its gleaming body dusted with spices so potent they made Cassian’s eyes water from across the picnic table.

“I think you’re stalling. Take a bite, Lady Death.”

“You go first, Lord of Bloodshed, if you’re so eager,” she snapped, stabbing a finger at the jar of strange, grayish clumps suspended in brine in front of him. Knowing Nesta, they were probably some poor creature’s testicles. 

“I would, but it’s the courteous thing to let the lady go first, sweetheart.”

The bazaar in Day was bustling with activity around them, having found a corner amongst the brightly-colored tents to tuck into with their haul, escaping the burning eye of the sun. They’d each chosen a few things for the other to try, and the deep-fried scorpion was Cassian’s final challenge to Nesta. She’d already housed an inky-veined sheep's milk cheese and a fruit that smelled of rotting meat with nothing but a brief shudder and a prim smack of her lips.

“Suddenly he cares about courtesy. Do I eat the stinger too?”

“If you want to do it right.”

Not long after they’d officially gotten together, Cassian found out that he could get his mate to eat almost anything with a little goading. It all started with a mountain fig soaked in Illyrian moonshine he’d tried to warn her off of at the equinox festival. He’d been captivated by the way she popped it in her mouth in one go, face screwing up against the burn that felled even the fiercest warriors, fighting with every grind of her teeth against the urge to spit it out. 

When she finally swallowed, she looked just as triumphant as she did when she swallowed something else, and Cassian had been unable to help himself ever since.

 It was simple, really, when he thought about it. Nesta liked to win. He liked to watch her win. And so it became a little game between them.

He heard her noise of displeasure over the chatter of other shoppers and Nesta scrunched her nose, surveying the scorpion from all angles. “And what would you know about doing it right?”

“Seemed pretty clear to you last night when you were begging me to -”

“Cassian Archeron, I swear -”

He winked, crossing his arms over his chest in a way he knew emphasized the muscles in his shoulders, the same ones she’d clung to the night before when she’d most definitely been begging.

“I’m just trying to jog your memory, Nes, don’t get defensive.” He patted her hand in as dickish a way as he could, knowing it would make her see red. “It’s okay if you’re worried about gagging and making a fool of yourself.”

They’d come to Day on vacation a dozen times, and he never got tired of the way she lit up when they traveled, how she loved the newness, the adventure. It made him want to relinquish all his duties and spend forever taking her to every far-flung corner of the world, his beautiful wife, who might be currently plotting his murder.

Nesta smiled at him now, the garnets he’d bought her years ago in Rask glinting at her ears. But instead of the rush of victory Cassian felt panic slide down his spine. He’d seen that smile countless times across the training ring, her deadly calm before the strike.

“You know I don’t gag,” she purred, and his brain went fuzzy, thoughts fizzling out. Which she probably knew would happen, just like she knew how it loosened his tongue when she talked like this. He leaned in close so the snake-eyed fae at the table beside them couldn’t overhear.

“You do if I want you to.”

“Is that an order, General?” Silver rolled across her eyes, that deadly fire. “I don’t take kindly to those.”

“Liar.”

He was digging his own grave but he didn’t care, the zing of chemistry bouncing between them. Nesta’s foot slid up his leg beneath the table, hooking around the back of his calf.

“Careful, my love,” she said. “Don’t start something you can’t finish.”

On the bench opposite him, she was the portrait of a lady, perfectly composed in her pale yellow gown that flowed over her freckled shoulders like liquid sunlight. But when he felt the toe of her shoe dig into his leg, he knew she was positioning herself to dislocate his knee. 

Mother, he loved her. And he’d never been good at following directions, anyway.

“Take a bite.”

“No.”

“Take a bite, Nesta.”

Her smoky eyes flashed as she surveyed the scorpion once more, the wraith-pepper flakes and batter encrusting its sharp pincers. “You’re sure this won’t poison me.”

“I’m hurt, sweetheart. You really think I’d endanger you?”

“Depends how far up Rhysand’s ass you are.”

“Okay, I earned that one,” he conceded, grinning. The shame of his early failures still lingered, but they’d come so far. Enough that she felt comfortable joking about it now, that Rhys would’ve tumbled into profuse apologies had he overheard. “You survived the Blood Rite, I think you can handle a little venom.”

“Fine.”

Defiant, Nesta lowered it into her mouth in one go and crunched down, eyes watering at the potency. Her cheeks turned red at once, sweat beading at her brow, and she braced her hands on the edge of the table to suppress the cough he knew wanted to burst forth. Cassian watched her fight through the heat, her steel composure cracking when she gave in and fanned at her face, her open mouth, reaching to grip his hand for support when she swallowed at last. 

It was his favorite part, he supposed, when she clung to him to make it through. The same way her eyes searched for him habitually when she won a spar during training, when she flung her arm across their bed in the night to feel his form in the darkness. That despite being able to handle all of it on her own, Nesta wanted him along with her.

“Goodness,” she panted once she’d released his hand, brushing stray spice from her fingers. He watched the flush creep across her chest, entranced. “That wasn’t so bad, actually. I may go back for another. Though I doubt you’ll be saying the same.”

Her smile was wicked then, and Cassian couldn’t help but laugh when she looked pointedly at the jar still in front of him, at his fate in her hands. 

“So whose balls am I about to gag on?”

“The giant Sarnesian bat.” She smirked, silver rolling across her eyes once more. “And after that, mine.”

—-

They shared a sumptuous dinner under the fading sun, having somehow not lost their appetites after the horrors they’d inflicted upon each other, though the thick afternoon nap had likely helped. Nesta’s gaze grew heavier the longer it was locked on him across the table, her wintery eyes guarded, mouth drawn in the phantom of a smile.

“You’re quiet this evening, sweetheart,” he observed as he polished off a staggeringly good saffron-infused cake. The same yellow stained his wife’s tongue where it darted out to wet her lips.

“Just enjoying the view.”

“Is that so?”

Nesta hummed in answer, and Cassian felt his blood heat, rushing south as she looked back out at the vista. The room Helion always insisted they take had a wide open-air balcony with a view of Zlora’s rolling dunes, the horizon dotted with bonfires for the upcoming summer solstice. Pink-tipped roses climbed the balustrade, their scent rich in the night air, and music drifted on the breeze full of swirling flutes and deep drums. The High Lord of Day seemed to understand that ‘vacation’ for them meant ‘fucking where our family can’t interrupt us’, and always took their needs to heart.

A smile bloomed on his mate’s beautiful face, and Cassian couldn’t tear his eyes away from her as she breathed in deeply, limbs relaxed where she lounged in her chair. Nesta liked when he watched her, when she knew he was watching. A vision of their last trip to the capitol city rose in his mind, when she’d left their table to dance with another male, how she’d kept her eyes on him the whole time. How fucking crazy it drove him, how he’d worshiped her for hours after.

Nesta in the present stood slowly and moved to loom over him, caging him in with her arms. Cassian leaned back and smirked, dragging his gaze up and down her body appreciatively, possessively. She preened under his attention despite trying not to, her shoulders rolling back and down, and the spark set the game in motion again.

His voice was rough to his own ears when he spoke, low and arrogant. “Take off your clothes.”

Anger sparked across Nesta’s expression at the same time the scent of her arousal drifted over him. She looked defiant as one hand raised to the pin holding her gown at her shoulder, fingers toying with the clasp.

“That sounded an awful lot like an order again, General. You forget death answers to no one.”

“No one but you. Off.”

A shiver of pleasure ran through her and she obeyed, blue gossamer cascading to the floor. When he saw there was nothing underneath, Cassian was tempted to tug her to her knees by the long braid dangling down her back, to make her prove she never gagged. But he knew her well enough to see the ploy for what it was, how she hoped to compromise his self-control with her devastating beauty on full display.

It worked. Cassian ran reverent hands up her bare thighs, tracing the faint lines where she’d filled out over the years, struck dumb from wanting to taste them.

Mother save him.

“What’s the matter? Lost all your courage, sweetheart?” Nesta goaded. She ran her long, tantalizing fingers over the exposed lines of his chest, nails scratching in the hair at the center. Then her touch rounded the top of his shoulder, stretching toward where his wings met his back. 

“What do you think you’re doing, witch?”

Not wanting to be bested yet, Cassian snatched her arm and pulled her down onto him, intent on showing her just how brave he could be.

He couldn’t fucking get enough of her, wanted to drown in her as they tangled with her in his lap, spread out on the table, bent over the balcony railing. She fought his teasing the whole way, trying to stave off her orgasm, as if she knew he wanted to send her tumbling before him and refused to lose.

What she didn’t know was that was exactly his aim. For she was his favorite version when riled up, when I Will Slay My Enemies blended with I’m About To Rearrange Your World, Cassian and he was totally at her mercy no matter who was on top.

She was on her back in the pile of plush cushions now, muscles strained from staving off the high her body craved, nails clawing weakly at his arms. Up and down he wound her, watching as the silver misted at her fingertips, her magic unspooling as her sanity did. Nesta filled the room with glimmers of it, wisps of pleasure flung out, ghosting over his skin and she was everything, every thought in his brain, every drop of his blood.

Her eyelids fluttered pitifully when he gave a hard thrust and Cassian smirked down at her, at the deep flush creeping across her chest that told him she was close.

“Not so mouthy now, huh? Such a good girl when you’re getting what you want.”

“You insuf..ferable.. bat..”

“Go on, Nes, give in. You know you want to.”

“N-never,” Nesta stuttered, but she was speechless after that all the same, clinging tight as he moved deep within her. Something in her seemed to turn then, and he felt the hard squeeze of her thighs around him, eyes pleading when he pulled back. He slowed his pace and rubbed gentle circles into her hips, a question.

“Cassian,” she pleaded in answer, and he heard the edge in her voice, that long-lived wound, the fear of losing control. He leaned forward until their noses bumped, hair spilling over his shoulders to form a protective curtain around her face.

“I know, sweetheart, it’s okay. I’m here. I’ve got you.”

She relaxed beneath him at the same time her finger grazed his wing that was finally within her reach, rearranging his world.

He tipped over just a breath before her, and it felt like the exact moment his wings first caught the wind - suspension, a delicious weightlessness in the gap between flight and freefall. The sound of her moans washed over him a second later, her grip on his hair tight when he buried his face in her neck, tethering her to the earth.

And Cassian knew then, as he knew every time, that all wanted in this life was to take her here. To lift her up and up and up as many times as he could, to help her float, unburdened, even if it meant he was doomed to place second for the rest of his life.

“I won,” she panted once they floated down, and he laughed into the damp skin of her throat, felt her smile against his temple before she placed a kiss there. “Again.”

Nesta fell asleep almost immediately, as was her way, and Cassian watched how the moonlight spilled over her body until drowsiness dragged him under, too, thinking he’d never been happier to lose.

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

Our non-marine heroine Karleeen McQueen

You know what, you already know lots of stuff about Ahti II, I’m now going to tell you about Karleeen the spidergirl, Ahti’s best friend and the protagonist of a story I’m writing! A quick information sheet:

(+ Art reference)

Karleeen (with three e’s)… well, who doesn’t know about Karleeen! Probably not by looks, but you could read all about her on the papers some years back. It’s been a while, you'd hardly recognise her if you saw her now! Especially among the other jolly beachgoers, joggers, shoppers and summertime tourists; Karleeen lives in Naantali after all, with her single father on the coast of southwest Finland. In the summer it's busy, in the winter it's very quiet, all year round it's a very appropriate place for Karleeen, she thinks.

Now in her mid-teens (the Sirpaverse “starting point” is 2021), Karleeen is a most open and jolly girl! She loves socialising and chats with just about anybody she has a chance to interact with for more than five minutes. She’s always planning outings and looking to spend time with her best friends, too! She enjoys being silly, making wordplay and coming up with puns with ridiculous set-ups. Karleeen is a sensitive soul, she feels all of her emotions very strongly and shows them strongly, too. She sometimes has trouble regulating her emotional reactions and has a tendency to spiral. It's very difficult for Karleeen to lie, her feelings will be very clear from her facial expressions and body language no matter how hard she may pretend to feel otherwise. Not that she'd even lie! It would make her feel too bad.

Karleeen has loved nothing more her whole life than making "thingamajigs" — you know, machines, things that move, little inventions! It's so fascinating to her, how pieces that are little more than scrap on their own weave together into intricate creations that are far more than the sum of their parts. When she was a young kid she'd make things out of twigs and rocks and rope, but in her teens she's now moved onto more sophisticated methods, legos and actual robot-building sets. She's also dipping her toes into coding, so far it seems fun and it offers an additional medium for making things (only digitally this time). Karleeen would love to study mechanical engineering when she's old enough to go to a university, but it'll be a while until then! Besides for robotics Karleeen enjoys hiking in the outdoors, climbing trees, basking, collecting fun and/or useless trinkets of various kinds and strawberry-themed items, playing platformers and action-adventure games and doodling.

Karleeen’s a smart girl, but she struggles a lot with languages. Or, well, don’t let me entirely misrepresent her: she does have the achievement of knowing some ASL signs. Still, Finnish is the only language she speaks fluently and it’s her own mother tongue! She can’t quite get anything else stuck to her brain, speaking Swedish or Surish or even simple English feels like a chore. Like stated above Karleeen’s body language is very clear, one of the more common actions Karleeen does when she’s nervous, scared or sad is holding her hands and arms close to her chest.

Karleeen's favourite genre of music is classical, but she can't listen to it casually because it makes her very emotional. She likes pop, rock and soundtracks when it comes to just playing music in the car or with friends. Her favourite animals are elephants, and her favourite fish is the electric eel. Her favourite meal is minute beef steak with seasoned butter and chanterelles, but her actual favorite singular food item in general and favourite snack is wild strawberries. Her favourite drink is tap water. Her favourite flower is fireweed.

(Nowhere else to really mention this but Karleeen is also asexual and biromantic, it took a long while for her to figure out because her relationship with having human connections is rather complicated and unusual but she’s comfortable in that identity and doesn’t really overthink it, she has a lot of love in her heart for so many things so it’s only natural she would have a lot of love for many people too, she thinks)

[the-moon-files]

Aaaaa, hi!! I'm the anon who sent in the fairly recent ask with the Guide!Reader ideas (martial artist mention, Dehydrated Ganon, strength possibilities, Ganon not being able to escape from Guide!Reader's voice, etc)! I'm really glad that you liked my ideas so much!! 😊 I was so pleasantly surprised to see you expand on my discombobulated thoughts, haha! Thank you so much! ^w^ I loved reading them!!

I said that I made memes for the Guide!Reader/Space Orc concept, and now I shall deliver them >:D Firstly, I'm super sorry that I took so long to share these with you!! Life decided to kick me in the shins for a hot second 😭 And secondly, I made a LOT of images for this one,, Fair warning, this is going to take up a lot of space 😭 orz

But anyway!! Here are the text memes first:

Guide!Reader: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare.

Wars: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great.

Guide!Reader: Not when you’re playing with Zelda, it’s not. She’s out here putting in words like “ephemeral” while I’m putting in “dog.”

☆

Guide!Reader: *pointing out Magic Powder* Legend, look, it’s the good kush!

Legend: …This is the Rupee Store, how good can it be?

☆

Ravio: Hi, welcome! Are you part of our Super Savers Shoppers Club?

Guide!Reader: No, I’m not.

Ravio: :D :) :| Oh.

☆

Legend, looking into a banged-up Water Temple: …It’s trash.

☆

Time, whenever Guide!Reader uses modern slang: We need IRL subtitles. What are you even saying.

☆

Guide!Reader: My Furby died in my arms when I was a child.

Hyrule, has no clue what a Furby is: I’m so sorry for your loss.

Guide!Reader: It wasn’t a loss. I had never felt more like a god.

☆

The Chain: *getting told off by Time*

Guide!Reader in the back: …

Guide!Reader: *starts playing the ukulele* 👁👄👁 🎸

Time: 🧍

☆

Four, talking about Guide!Reader: So, I’m interested in someone…

Dot: :D Oooh! What do they look like?

Four: *slow realisation*

Four: I don’t know

Dot: Wh

Dot: What do you mean you don’t know?

☆

Guide!Reader/Ganon, about hearing Guide!Reader every dang game: The universe has a sense of humour, and I respect the commitment to the bit, but girl please.

☆

Guide!Reader, to Link once they reunite with the Chain: Now… *puts hand on his shoulder* We’re back on our bullsh*t.

☆

Guide!Reader and Wild, meeting Sidon for the first time:

Guide!Reader: …Would.

Wild: Would what?

Guide!Reader:

Wild: (Name)? Would what?

☆

Wind: When you become famous you’re called a legend because your leg ends.

Guide!Reader: What? 

Wind: Your leg. It ends.

Guide!Reader: I’m not a linguist, but I think you’ve got it wrong.

Wind: Are you saying your leg doesn’t end?

Guide!Reader: I mean, at some point it does, yes.

Wind: Then what’s the problem?

☆

The Chain, waking up at dawn to get ready:

Guide!Reader and Sky, just trying to process being alive:

☆

Guide!Reader/Time: You need to get out of bed faster than this.

Sky, struggling: I’m giving it all he’s got, boss

☆

Guide!Reader at Ganon: Your anger amuses me. Please don’t find inner peace. Please.

☆

Guide!Reader, playing through LoZ game: *at an annoying NPC* Let me ask you a very fair question. What do you do successfully? Quickly. :|

Link, trying not to laugh:

☆

Hyrule, probably: I hate it when a recipe tells me to add two cups of onions. They don’t come in cups. They come in onions.

Guide!Reader, head in hands: Please

☆

Hyrule/Twilight, looking at two NPCs: Are they lovers?

Guide!Reader, who knows the lore: Worse.

☆

The Chain, enjoying Guide!Reader’s affections:

Legend: 🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️

☆

Legend, defending himself from the “You like him” allegations from Wind: 🤸🤸🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️

And now, onto the images- I hope you don't think the sheer amount of these memes is too excessive or anything!! 😭 /gen

Aaa and that's all the memes I've got! I hope you like them,,! orz

I'm also still pretty new to Tumblr, so I'm sorry if the format looks a bit weird,,

Oh, but also?? That last point you mentioned in your most recent post about the cultural differences between humans and Hylians on physical affection/touch?? I am VERY excited to see that,, 👀 👉👈 

U HAVE NO IDEA HOW IN LOVE W/UR BRAIN I AM RN

IM SO FUCKING ECSTATIC TO SEE THESE >>> ANYTHING IVE EVER WRITTEN U MADE MEMES??? FOR MY BS?????? DAOHGHOAKJSALKGFS;NDFKNDNFKJBDBFLN;

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

BLESS YOU, BEHEAMOTH SCREAMOTH MY BELOVED <3333

HAVE THAT HYLIANS V. HUMANS AFFECTION CULTURE POST HERE, THE ONLY PAYMENT I CAN THINK OF FOR THIS 😩😩 🛐 🛐 🛐

I LIED ITS TOO LONG, ITS GONNA BE A SEPERATE POST COME BACK AND PLS READ IT AS PAYMENT (but dont read the nsft/w if ur a minor)

BRO u got all the energy, and the dynamics i was pushing ilysm 🥺🫶

like the Hyrule = beloved agenda ive been pushing, bc i need more underrep links content, the way u carried the ganon eternally getting haunted by guide reader voice?? 10/10 ahdsfkhadl

AND WIND’S CONSTANT ENERGY OF A YOUNGER BROTHER LOOKIN U DEAD IN THE EYE LIKE “u kiss the homie (singular not even plural) goodnight?? Brother, that’s GAEY.”

u have no idea what this means to me, the impact, the understanding u have to have of my bs to make these, and how many posts youve read of mine?? im so sorry for ur loss w/my rough writing lmao

thats how you know youve made it tbh is if someone makes memes of smth u made, anyway day brightened, complexion clear, depression medicated, by this post

I HOPE BOTH SIDES OF UR PILLOW ARE COLD, UR PETS CUDDLE U EXTRA, U GET ALL THE GRADES/GOOD WORK SHIFTS U NEED

Peace out my beloved <3,

🌙

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

A House, the Puppy, and Everything

This is the fourth entry on my 2024 @jacklesversebingo card. It will fill the Character A loses Character B in a Store square.

Summary: Dean's frantic when his baby brother slips away from him.

Pairing: No romantic pairing. Sam x Dean (weechesters)

Warnings: None. Some angst.

Word Count: 1,174

A/N: As soon as I saw that square on my bingo card, I knew this was the fic I wanted to write. Our poor baby boys. I hope you enjoy this sad little moment from their early years.

Dean One Shots || Dean Master List || Main Master List || Tag Lists

“Sammy!” Dean spun around frantically, the world around him twirling kaleidoscopically as his gaze refused to focus on anything that wasn’t his six year old brother.

He pushed through spinning racks of comic books, and ran past shelves filled with video games, bending to look beneath display racks to see if Sam had hidden himself under one of them. But Sam’s dark brown hair and big hazel eyes were nowhere to be found. Dean’s heart was slamming against his ribs so hard he was scared it was going to burst out of him like a Looney Tunes cartoon.

“Sammy!” Dean yelled again.

As he continued to panic, a kind-faced elderly lady approached him from the front of the store. “What’s the matter honey? Who are you looking for?”

Dean opened his mouth to answer, desperate for help. But then he snapped it shut. He knew better than to trust someone just because they looked innocent and safe. Most monsters disguised themselves that way, especially the ones who went after kids. It was part of their hunting method - find desperate kids and pretend to be their salvation.

So Dean ignored the old lady and moved away, but kept her safely in the corner of his eye. What’s an old lady doing in a comic book store, anyway? He thought.

But as he watched her suspiciously, she shook her head and shuffled back out of the store. He saw her slowly approaching one of the mall security guards and Dean panicked anew. 

She’s gonna tell the guard I lost Sam. They’re gonna try to get a hold of Dad. What’s gonna happen when they find out he’s not even in this state? 

Terrifying visions from after school specials, of shady foster homes and orphanages, filled his mind; they were gonna shove them someplace far away from each other and he’d never see Dad or Sam again. Who was gonna protect Sam if he wasn’t there beside him?

Dean gave himself a mental shove. “Who the hell is protecting him now, dumbass?” He mumbled to himself. He couldn’t believe he’d let him out of his sight. 

Sam hadn’t even wanted to come in here, Dean thought angrily. He should have known the kid was gonna wander off. Dean had all but dragged his resisting little brother into the comic book store; Sam wanted to go to the pet store further down the mall, but the puppies in cages always made Dean sad and he hated that.

Wait! His brain zinged with realization. The pet store! 

He bolted out of the comic book store, and through the crowded mall, hiding amongst the patrons as he escaped the gaze of the security guard who was headed towards him.

The other stores slid past him as he ran to the pet store at the end of the hall, annoying the slowly browsing shoppers on either side of him. He got to the pet store and skidded to a halt, checking over his shoulder for the guard or the old lady, but he couldn’t see them anywhere. He stepped inside the store and inhaled the slightly briney smell as he walked past the wall of fish tanks towards the back where the puppies and kittens were kept.

As he rounded the last corner, he felt his heart leap into his throat and then squeeze painfully. Sam was standing happily in front of one of the cages with his hand out so the fluffy white puppy inside could lick him through the bars. 

“Sam!” Dean yelled at his little brother, relief making his tone angry. “What the hell is the matter with you?” 

Sam turned to look at Dean, his little chin set stubbornly. “I wanted to see the puppies.”

Dean came close to him so he could hiss angrily at Sam and not be overheard. “And I wanted you to not wander away and be kidnapped, you little idiot.” Sam still knew nothing about monsters and how much very real danger existed in the world, and Dean wasn’t about to tell him the truth. But his little brother's lack of fear made Sam roll his eyes and turn back to the puppy. 

“I was gonna come back after.” He said simply, completely oblivious to Dean’s slowly receding terror. He turned his big hazel eyes on his brother. “But look at how cute he is?” 

Dean sighed and shook his head. “Yeah, Sam. He’s cute. Now let’s go. We weren’t even supposed to leave the motel. We need to get back in case Dad’s calling the room.” It wasn’t likely, John rarely called until he was on his way back, and that wasn’t likely for a couple days. 

But Sam’s lip jutted out and he stepped closer to the cage. “I wanna take him.”

Dean frowned. “Don’t be stupid, Sammy. What the hell are we gonna do with a dog?” Fat tears welled up in Sam’s eyes and slid down his chubby cheeks, making Dean instantly contrite. 

Sam’s voice trembled. “I don’t wanna leave him here. He’s gonna be lonely again.”

Dean squeezed his little brother’s shoulder. “Aw, come on, Sam, don’t worry about him. He’s really cute, so some family’s gonna come along and take him home really soon, I bet.”

“But I wanna take him home.”

“To where, Sam? The motel?” Dean snapped and then sighed deeply. “He wouldn’t have fun there; he’d be trapped inside all the time. Better to let some family with a big house and yard buy him. Think how much more fun he’ll have running around in a place like that.”

Sam was quiet for a minute and then nodded sadly. “Yeah, m’kay.” He mumbled. He gave the puppy a few more pats through the cage and then let Dean lead him out of the store. 

Keeping an eye out for the guard, Dean quickly maneuvered them out of the mall and onto the busy sidewalk. As they approached the slightly rundown motel half an hour later, Sam stopped out front, forcing Dean to stop too.

Dean pushed on his shoulder. “Come on Sam, let’s go. I’ll get us some root beers from the lobby before we go back to the room.”

But Sam stayed in the same spot. “How come we don’t have a house and a backyard, Dean? How come we can’t have the puppy and everything?”

Sam wasn’t pouting or sad, just genuinely curious and Dean wasn’t sure how to answer him. He couldn’t tell his baby brother that a house and a puppy and a yard was just something normal people had. Sam didn’t know yet that they weren’t normal, and he wanted to keep him from knowing that for as long as possible. 

So he just shrugged and lied. “We will one day, Sammy. One day we’ll have a big house, with like twenty bedrooms, and a swimming pool, and a huge yard with so many puppies.”

Sam looked unsure, but soon he let a smile create deep dimples in his cheeks. “And kittens too?”

Dean tousled Sam’s dark brown hair. “Yeah, kiddo. Kittens too.”

@lyarr24 @lacilou @deans-spinster-witch @globetrotter28 @suckitands33

@alwaystiredandconfused @jzackles @jackles010378 @impala67rollingthroughtown @krazykelly

@candy-coated-misery0731 @envyaurora95 @spnwoman @deans-baby-momma @luvr4miya

@arcannaa @viviwatchestv @winharry @ladysparkles78 @kr804573

@whimsyfinny @roonthelittlespoon920 @slamminmine @zepskies @safiyas-world

@aylacavebear @kazsrm67 @slut-for-evans-stan @sexyvixen7 @nancymcl

@hobby27 @waywardcheshire @livya99 @k-slla @leigh70

@eevvvaa @kickingitwithkirk @foxyjwls007 @roseblue373 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess

@avanatural @mrsjenniferwinchester @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @deangirl96 @stoneyggirl2

@fanfic-n-tabulous @traiitorjoe @lastcallatrockysbar @b3autyfuld1sast3r

[argisthebulwark]

TES Summer Fest Day Seven: Companion/Fallen

summary: Tired of being held to unattainable expectations, the Dragonborn turns their back on everyone to be with Miraak. gn reader/Miraak, no gendered pronouns or y/n used. warnings: none! a/n: bit of a continuation from day one :) @tes-summer-fest TES Summerfest Masterlist

"Humanity's greatest warrior has abandoned us!" A sharp voice tinged with fear rings through the marketplace, much to the dismay of its shoppers and merchants. "Mankind will fall to the threat of dragons once more if we do not turn our eyes to the true power of Tamriel - the gods!"

"Mankind should turn their eyes to us, not those useless old men on their mountain." Miraak snorts in your ear, earning a sharp elbow in the ribs. He huffs out a laugh at the rushed way you tug the cowl tighter around your face.

"Don't draw attention." You hiss, shoving likely too many coins into the woman's outstretched hand. Too many alarms are sounding in your mind - there isn't time to worry about counting change. Your singular focus remains on escaping the large city without encountering any trouble.

"The Last Dragonborn has turned against humanity - fallen from grace!" The man's shrieks grate against your last nerve.

Miraak's cavalier attitude does little to help. Adventurous fingers clamber under your cloak and hook into your trousers, dragging you closer until his lips find your ear.

"What worries you, my dragon?" He murmurs, the silky voice doing little to calm your nerves. "I will level this city if anyone upsets you - we could do it together. You shouldn't concern yourself with mankind's useless opinions."

"We've discussed this." You grumble and grasp his wrist, intent on dragging him out of the city's claustrophobic walls. Miraak hurries after you, apparently content to let you boss him around.

"I know, I know - humanity is worth saving, you've said that." He recounts with an especially dramatic sigh. "I'm not allowed to destroy cities or you'll leave me."

"Correct." Even as you voice it, you doubt your conviction; you've already turned your back on the Greybeards, the Blades, and every Jarl across the continent to be with him - is there anything he could do to sever your connection?

"What exactly is your plan, my love? I have no doubt in you, of course - but you must know that I will not be welcomed into Sovngarde."

"If those spirits want Alduin to fall they will make an exception." You grumble, praying that your words will convince the countless heroes waiting in the afterlife - brute force isn't a viable option against the legions that surely await you there.

They must. There is no other option. Regardless of the waves of useless propaganda spreading across Skyrim you refuse to let Alduin lay waste to your home. While the Jarls bicker among themselves and the Greybeards waste time fretting over your lack of mindless obedience you intend to solve the problem, even if they disagree with your methods.

"You will be there with me." You assure Miraak, breath coming a bit easier with each step you take away from the crowded city. His hand slips into yours, calloused fingers a comfort when they squeeze yours.

"That is not what the prophecies have foretold, Mal Dov." He reminds you, voice shakier than expected. When you whip toward him you find those harsh eyes staring straight back at you. "Perhaps I do not deserve the redemption you offer me."

Afternoon slips into an uneasy night, your brain clouded with worry about what the next morning will hold. Your stomach churns as shaky fingers comb over the perfectly arranged weapons and stash of potions - will it be enough? Would an entire calvary be enough to take down the World Eater?

"It is not redemption." You finally utter the words that have rattled around your mind all day. Miraak pauses at your side without speaking but you feel the unmistakable weight of his eyes on you. "I do not intend to bring you to Sovngarde and back to redeem your soul."

"Oh, is it a punishment you seek?" He chuckles but you catch the uneasiness in his voice.

"It is selfish." You whirl to him, suddenly so desperate for him to see how utterly awful you are. Tears claw at your throat when Miraak pauses his actions.

"My love, what do you mean?"

"I cannot do this without you." You swallow back the fucking lump in your throat but tears still sting. "I - I'm not who they wanted me to be, none of them. I'm evil, fallen from grace as that fucking preacher said."

"You are not evil." Leather gloves are cool when Miraak cups your cheeks. "I am evil, yet you chose to let me live - you've let me into your heart, given me a reason to keep breathing." His honeyed words soothe the erratic beating of your heart, face warming when his nose brushes yours. "If you have fallen from grace, I cannot imagine the things they would say of me."

[kiefbowl]

this is a random thought I had in the shower actually well over a month ago, but I've been gnawing at it in my brain...and perhaps this is going to sound pathetic and a bit esoteric.

So, it suddenly dawned on me very randomly while I was showering that I have been paying for netflix for my own account since I was a freshman in college. Back in the dvd days, I remember having Firefly sent to me disk by disk my fall semester. This is 2009. It was an important part of college because I let my friends use it on their console and we'd all go to their dorm and watch streaming, and I passed out my log in to a ton of friends. I basically provided free Netflix to more or less 10 or so people over the course of four years for not even $7 a month I think.

What hit me though was that means, this year - that will be 15 years. That's what stopped me in my shower to stare off in the abyss for like 10 minutes and what's been on my mind for the past several weeks. I've been paying netflix for 15 years, which is the longest I've ever done anything. There is no other company I've so consistently paid for like this either, not for that many of years not even close. Quite possibly my longest relationship outside of my family and 2-3 other people. Netflix, the ever constant, of all forsaken things.

And what really bothers me about it is that, uhm, not to be an American consumer but like...I don't feel appreciated by netflix. For the past few years, I've barely used it, except for a few titles I've wanted to watch. I haven't passed out my log in since I changed it not long after college to keep an ex using it for free. I've remained loyal, despite the fact that I don't feel like some sort of loyal consumerist. I don't give a fuck about brands, I try to shop as little as possible, thrift what I can. And yet, what can I say? I actually am a loyal consumerist, to netflix that is.

What a shock to realize this, and what a shock to realize netflix does not acknowledge this, no email saying thanks, no surveys, no swag, no pizza party, no invite no perk no discount no nothing. Instead they raise prices, cut services, lose licenses, and cancel barely finished products. I'm 15 years loyal to this company for this?

And I think about the days of yore, but really not long ago. The preferred shopper's catalogues of department stores, the longtime shopper promotions of industry giants, the award systems for the loyal consumerists of chains and malls. The specialty Christmas items that are today vintage and worth money for their rarity. The thank yous, the special events. The mailers that say "Come to our store loyal customer and receive a free $20 coupon for that day!" And I'm not saying this is good, and of course it's all just marketing and advertisement, and I'm not saying this is the life I want to live...

But I am saying this would be easy for netflix to do, for someone like me. Someone who went from $7 to stream and receive DVDs, who got customers onboard when the model was new and the company was pioneering, to $20 to sit unused but for a month or two out of the year. It would be easy to pull the data. It would be easy to say which accounts have been opened the longest, to actually verify who has given 180 months worth of payments to them. It would be easy to give me a year's discount to say thank you. It would be easy for them to send an email to verify my address to send me merch. Do I want the merch? No, not really. But have they tried?

Have they even sent me an email saying "We appreciate your 15 years of support! We value you!" with little confetti animation? They didn't do it at 10 years. They didn't do it at 5 years. I don't recall ever receiving emails from netflix besides "Unfortunately, our payment model is changing."

As of today, I haven't pulled my account yet. I want to finish Bridgerton, even if this season is a snoozefest. But I think I will. I feel had and used, as pathetic as that sounds. Has Hulu done anything different? I can't remember when I signed up for them but it's been many years. No, but I frankly use it more, so I'm less angry. And with netflix...it's been fifteen years. They have really banked on us being passive in our payments, and accustomed to the freedom of endless choice, and it just feels gleeful that they never even once acknowledged I've been here this whole time. Actually, act like Sears and Bloomingdales 60 years ago, or we quit I think we should say. Ask me my address to send me a glass netflix mug or I'll fuck off, because who do you think you are to think so little of me, the only reason you exist for?