#but anyone who is aware of the situation SHOULD be able to make sense of why it MAY have been up to the individual

[outrunningthedark]

@ anon (you'll know who you are)

[animeyanderelover]

May or may not write in the next few days also some poly!relationship with Morticia and Gomez Addams (as portrayed in the two movies in the early 90s). For now I would like to try my skills with my currently other hyperfixation. We're talking about the Wolverine version as portrayed in the first 3 X-Men movies.

Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, stalking, overprotective behavior, death

Wolverine Hc's

The situation would be quite difficult and most definitely unexpected for Logan. He has spent years just aimlessly wandering around with no clear recollection of who he is and how he came to be, spent years just getting by somehow before Professor Charles and the X-Men offered him the closest thing to a family he has had since he came to be. He's loyal yet still sees himself as a loner who prefers keeping to himself. He's very conscious of his own feelings above anything else and even though he's known for his short temper and crude attitude he is by no means a bad person which is why he tries to put some distance between the two of you, fully aware that you shouldn't associate with him. At that point it is most likely too late already. For Logan to get so attached to you to the point of obsession it's likely that the two of you have known each other for a while now and that you've opened his heart up without even being aware of it. You've essentially just gained yourself a guard dog who will take any physical harm for you all too gladly.

Whilst Logan can be very possessive, especially in an established relationship, above all he is very protective. He spends most of his days just watching you from a distance, usually able to track you down by scent and sound alone. Normally his days do not require him to be overly busy unless Professor Charles needs something from him so he has a lot of time on his hands which he gladly devotes to you. All too often you have him always a few feet away from him, watching over you and willing to interfere as soon as anything or anyone should pose a threat to you. As someone who doesn't like when his own freedom is limited Logan at least gives it a try to not be too protective yet the fact that his senses are so much keener do not make this task easier. Never think that he isn't good in noticing your current mood. He hears it when your heart starts racing and his elevated sense of smell makes him very sensitive to changes in your body odor as he's able to detect the chemical changes when your emotions change. This plays a role in how he reacts and if his darling is highly emotional or on a more anxious Logan will be naturally more protective.

Your existence is a blessing as much as it is a curse for him simply because you make Logan aware just how painfully lonely he feels now that he has started yearning for you. You make him miserable in more than one way. Somehow he makes the situation even worse for himself though whilst being your devoted watchdog from the shadows. He's usually there when you spend time with friends or family outside, observing from a safe distance all whilst feeling a strange sensation tugging at his heartstrings, a strange sensation edging between warm comfort and cold loneliness. He'd like to be by your side too but knows that there are things he still has to work on. Jealousy is one of a few emotions that tends to make you aware that there is in fact a man following you around and the first time you hear that guttural growl from behind you you believe for a short moment that a beast is standing right behind you. One may call him too protective but he isn't irrational when he's jealous for neither his nose nor his ears lie to him. He knows exactly when you feel attracted to someone or vice versa.

People have insulted him more than once as being no better than an animal, a beast with no mind of his own. That is not true as Logan doesn't blindly attack people but killing others he will do if it guarantees your safety. There's a difference between arrogant stupidity that some may put up for show and the genuine bloodlust , the will that it takes to kill someone and Logan is able to tell the difference which often spares idiots their life as a few simple threats with his adamantium claws are more than sufficient enough to have grown men running away like little kids. Anyone who really comes for your life though will be met with the beast he has been called he is. Logan is fully prepared to murder anyone who would even dare try to lay a finger on you and his regenerative abilities tend to make him very reckless, fully prepared to use his own body as a shield and endure all injuries if it means that there isn't a single scratch on you. The one mistake someone could make though is triggering him to go berserk by hurting you, leaving him attacking and hurting anyone around him blindly, his mind clouded in red rage as he tears through blood and flesh.

In all the years since he has awoken without any memories of his previous life he has never been able to settle down once as a unease deeply rooted within his soul kept him moving from place to place, too restless to ever allow himself to sit still for even a moment. He has no place where he could keep you and Logan knows that yet strangely enough the longer he starts spending time near you the more he feels a previously unfamiliar ease washing over him, one that motivates him to give a permanent stay in a place a chance, something that previously used to be unimaginable for him. Even if he were to actually take that step and buy a small house he would still refrain himself from kidnapping you unless his trauma that lays dormant somewhere in his mind would resurface when he has to witness the heart-shattering situation of almost losing you, a vice on his mind that would taunt him forever that you almost lost your life because he couldn't protect you. The guilt will most likely only serve as an additional shackle around his soul yet his paranoia would ultimately outweight his guilt.

You may fall in the same trap as others do when they initially lay eyes upon the wild-looking man. Whilst Logan is gruff, crude and quite aggressive at times he is not only that. He's more but that is a side he only reserves for the people he trusts and you figure out that there is far more beneath his hardened surface. He's kind, he's loyal, surprisingly gentle and downright flirty once you get to know him better. He's usually careful with his touches, aware that his grip may hurt you more due to the adamantium that coats all of his bones. Your scent usually manages to calm him as soon as he gets a whiff of it unless it would be tinged with distress in which case his own emotions would quickly start stirring up with worry. There are still occasionally moments where he appears more uncertain and hesitant, moments where he questions just how much he should indulge in all of this and to a degree even how much he deserves it. At that point he's already aware that it is far too late to recover though as he'd leave half of his heart with you if he were to distance himself from you now, doomed to always live only half the life he could have if he were to have you.

[chronicbeans]

Queerplatonic Alastor x Reader Headcanons

Hehe my plan of writing headcanons for various Aroace-spec identity Alastor headcanons has begun. This one is with a cupioromantic and asexual Alastor in mind. I haven't seen enough of them, and as they say! "If you want it done right, you gotta do it yourself."

TW: Frustrations regarding romantic identity, complete unawareness of certain LGBTQ+ topics (my man's from the 1920's, he's almost completely in the dark), slight yandere behavior? (I feel he's just obsessive by default, regardless of the relationship type)

• So, this man has never necessarily identified himself with any sort of LGBTQ+ labels. Back in his day, there weren't any terms to use for being asexual or aromantic. At least, not any that he knew of. He's always been comfortable with his sexuality, though! His main thought process was always "I'll probably find someone that I'm attracted to at some point, and if I don't, that's alright." That thought process has also followed him down to Hell, and stayed the same for all these years.

• However... Whilst he's very comfortable with his sexuality... His romantic feelings are very complicated, now. He's always desired to have one, and he's very confused as to why he hasn't felt any romantic attraction, yet. It makes sense that someone who wants a romantic relationship to be able to feel romantic attraction, yes? He's very much in the dark to the complexities of how these things really work, mostly due to him being from the 1920s-30s. He's caught up on slang and technology, but he hasn't bothered to keep up with sexualities and romantic identities, as he doesn't think about them much.

• So, does he ask any more modern demons and sinners for help? Ha! No. He's too prideful, and simply assumes that there probably isn't much of a difference in knowledge on romantic attraction as compared to his day. Yes, he's aware that there's way more identities for sexualities. People talk about them often, and he hears terms thrown around here and there as he walks through Hell. He never hears anything in regards to romance, though. It's simply not talked about as often, from his experience. So, he's completely in the dark. If anything, he's probably completely unaware that there are identities for romantic attraction.

• He does what he can to cope. This whole situation is very frustrating for him. However, at the same time, he thinks that it shouldn't be so frustrating. So, it's embarrassing to him, and he doesn't tell anyone about it. Instead, he does what he believes everyone who is single and ready to mingle does: reading romance novels. More specifically, he flips to parts where said attraction is described, or little scenarios that he wants is going on. Restaurant dates, walking through the park, dancing, holding hands and cuddling. Those sorts of things! Things nobody would ever expect someone as unhinged as him would want...

• The most frustrating part, however, is that he feels he should already be feeling such an attraction to you. You, being his most close friend. You're the one he trusts with certain secrets, one of the few people he doesn't mind touching him unprompted (besides, say, Niffty), and probably the only person he lets his smile down around. Though, he rarely does so, as he doesn't want to worry you. Unlike Niffty, who he sees as having a more familial feeling towards, he sees you as a close friend. His closest friend, but just a close friend, which frustrates him to no end.

• It takes him a long time to even think of mentioning it to someone. However, when he does, he'd feel too awkward to bring it up to you. So, he decides to speak to Charlie about it! After all, she has one of the more "modern" relationships. So, she probably also knows something about whatever is going on with him! And after the long and grueling process of talking to her? He comes out even more frustrated than before. Being unable to feel romantic attraction, but still want romance? Cupioromantic? It is all so confusing. However, he won't question it. He's clearly out of his zone, and he was horribly wrong when assuming the world of romance hadn't progressed...

• You, however, are his most trusted friend. His closest friend. So, he decides to waste no time in deciding to propose an idea to you. He's heard of these things called "queerplatonic relationships", and his understanding is that they are like friendships, but with some more traditionally romantic interactions involved. Which, whilst his understanding of the nature of queerplatonic relationships may be a bit off, he's trying his best. Once you explain it a bit further, emphasizing that they're closer relationships than friendships, but not romantic and can vary widely in affectionate interactions, he is immediately is set on trying to start one with you. Luckily, though, you agree rather quickly.

• Despite him wanting many of your interactions and ways of showing affection to be more traditionally romantic, such as cuddling or going out on friendly dates, he won't cross any boundaries. Both because you're his closest, most prized relationship with another person, and because he can't think of many other people who would even be willing to enter such a relationship with him if he ever asked. Not that he'd want to ask anyone else. There's a reason why he immediately went to you. It's hard for him to describe it, though. Despite being a man of words, whenever he tries to explain why he feels like you are the perfect person for him to enter this queerplatonic relationship with, he stumbles heavily.

• His little ideal for this relationship is, essentially, the types of things he's read in the romance novels he has. Sure, a little bit of a twisted version of it, but at it's core it's the same. He wants to cuddle in a nice, safe, and warm room (while there's probably the screams of an extermination going on the background). He wants to go to restaurants (this man's a cannibal so check your food). He wants to do the cheesy move of handing you red roses and candy as a gift (do not ask how he was able to buy such an expensive brand, or where the two large, heavy trash bags came from or what they are filled with).

• He's going to be very, VERY protective of you. Almost, if not completely to an obsessive degree. He knows how Hell is. People want power, and he's powerful, and you are close to him. He's sure many people are going to go after you, in order to get to him. So, your little relationship is going to be as well protected of a secret as it can be, at first, until he believes he can properly protect you from any danger. And after the secret is out, he's going to be right by your side the entire time. Literally. Whenever he can be, he's next to you. Nobody, except maybe Vox or another pesky overlord, is going to try to hurt you as long as he is there. Even then, he could completely destroy them, anyways!

[crispywaffles2]

Hi I have a request! How about macaque and wukong (separate) acting over protective after if finding out their (female) s/o is pregnant? And how would they act throughout the whole pregnancy?

Please and thank you!

Hi! Of course I can, thank you so much for requesting! I'm not really versed in this particular field of romance or the struggles that it comes with, so I apologize if a lot of these seem out of character or unbearably tropey!

Overprotective Macaque & Wukong with a Pregnant!S/O

Macaque:

The moment it's revealed that you're pregnant he's tweaking out

He doesn't know how to be a dad what the heck

But he also can't deny that he is kind of excited at the prospect of being able to take care of your child!

Or children?

Oh my gosh what if it's twins-

He's seen mortal babies and toddlers walking about in the streets with their parents, and he's well aware of how.. tiny... and stupid... and vulnerable they are

He never much cared for it, thinking that mortal children were weak for not immediately coming into the world with powers or some sense of right and wrong

But it's different with his child! He can't let the tiny, stupid, vulnerable kid in your stomach get hurt!

Rest assured that he's rearranging furniture to make it easier for you to maneuver around

He insists on going out with you everywhere, and if you were to ever voice that you were getting tired of it, then he'd eventually relent...

Maybe send a clone or two to watch you in the shadows without your knowledge, but other than that he'll leave you alone!

He will glare at anyone who's eyes linger on your growing belly bump for too long, giving them a silent warning not to come to close

He'll throw down his cape over a small puddle, gesturing for you to safely cross. He says it's a joke, but really he wants to look like a gentleman in front of you

Despite his overprotective nature, he will not fulfill your cravings without question

"A what?? Why on Earth would our baby need to eat that?? They probably don't even like it!"

Other than your strange food requests, he's happy, eager even to help fulfill anything else

Worried about the stretch marks forming in your stomach? He'll tell you about how they remind him of battle scars and shows off his scars to you to make you feel better

"See? We're both warriors."

In pain from bad cramps? He's secretly panicking and making bad jokes while tending to you because he's nervous.

Stays by your side all the time just in case you start feeling pain. He wants to be there for you

Secretly reads books and looks up videos for first time dads when he thinks no one is looking

He's a warrior! A master of the shadows!

Sly, cunning, teasing, playful, sure!

But a father?

He couldn't even picture himself holding a baby

When the delivery finally happens he is such a Karen

Might as well hire him as a doctor, considering how he practically tried to deliver the baby himself

Eventually though he composes himself and stands in the corner fidgeting nervously

He's never been one to cry, not even in his brotherhood days, but the tears that welled up in his eyes when he held your child couldn't be helped

Instinctively starts trying to groom the baby

It's all over now. You're not pregnant, and the baby is finally here

He's still pretty protective of you, and his child even moreso

All that he could think as he looked into the eyes of your writhing, still slightly damp, baby was those nine months of making frankly disgusting foods were worth it

Wukong:

Absolutely flips when the bomb is dropped that you're pregnant

He genuinely doesn't know what to do

He's not sure if he should be excited that he's going to be a dad or worried that he's going to be a dad

We all know Wukong is protective of those he loves and carries a guilty conscience about including them in his messes

He knows that pretending he knows what he's doing won't get him out of every situation. He knows how many messes he pulls people into. He knows that his lingering 'do now ask questions later' mentality can put those he loves in danger

And now he has a baby too??

It takes a bit, but he eventually starts to warm up to the idea

He's the monkey king! And he'll teach his child to be better than him. Stronger, smarter! Well, not that much stronger because then he wouldn't really hold the crown the one of the strongest beings and he would not be able to handle that

Still though, he'll raise this baby and change his ways doing so

He's cartwheeling all over the place after a while just from pure excitement

Trust and believe this man is NOT reading any baby books or watching any videos. He doesn't need some mortal telling him how to raise his kid. He's the Great Sage

Whether that's a good or bad thing is up to interpretation

He'll rant to his monkeys about all of the things he'll teach the child, and he does it with so much excitement that even they get pumped up

Will try to speculate it's gender and appearance with you

"Maybe it'll have your pretty eyes and my handsome jawline! Or maybe it'll have your hair and a little tail like it's dad!"

Makes little baby toys out of sticks and leafs

He is actually super overprotective of you, but tries to pretend he's just being casual

"Where are you going? Not that I care or anything... You're trying to go to the store?? Babe, you should totally just.. stay here with me. I can make one of my clones do the shopping."

Will furiously stammer and insist that he's not worried about you if you ask

He knows you can handle yourself! It's just... You're all pregnant and vulnerable and round and he's such a worrywart about you!

He thinks that if anything even gently bumps your tummy the baby won't grow or something, so he's constantly paranoid

Rearranges furniture so it's easier for you to get around

He even cleans up just to lighten your load a bit! He must really love you!

He's actually super eager about people looking at your belly bump in public and will absolutely go off on a tangent about how his beautiful partner is about to have a beautiful baby and it's going to be beautiful

But if someone gets a little too close to you he will not hesitate to push them down or maybe accidentally give them a broken wrist if they reach out to touch your stomach

Is confused about why everyone isn't literally bowing to you while you're walking the streets

Genuinely got upset when you two were walking through a crowd and he had to hold you because people wouldn't just part for the pregnant woman walking through

"What?? Ten dollars for this? You do know my partner is pregnant right? This should be free for her! Everyday is a struggle for her! You'd have no idea what she's been through and you're charging her ten dollars-"

He's an absolute Karen

Suggests putting a pillow over your stomach

"That way you won't bump into anything and our child can be cozy!"

Because Wukong is an absolute hazard in the kitchen, he's concocted a crazy amount of different foods

He has no problem fulfilling your strange food requests and even eats them with you

"Oh my goodness! I love crab cakes with syrup!! I'll make some for both of us bud."

Has like three different emergency plans for when you're in pain

The moment you lurch forward or let out a groan he's on it

With a snap of his fingers his monkeys are all marching over to help you sit down in a single file line

He sits there and soothes you as best as he can while his monkeys scamper around trying to get anything you request

When it's finally time Wukong is genuinely confused, thinking that it's just contractions or something, but you keep yelling at him and saying "IT'S TIME!!"

Time for what?? Lunch or...?

Thinking the baby is talking to him through you, he hoists you up on his somersault cloud and zips off

When the doctor gives him a strange look and tells him you're just about to have your baby he freaks out

He tries to help in any way he can, holding your hand, breathing with you

Offers to help with the delivery of the baby

"Oh, looks like it's a bit stuck. Need a little help there bud?"

Losing his mind in the corner of the room but trying to play it cool for you and the doctors.

"Why is it slimy?" Are quite literally the first words that come out of his mouth when the baby is delivered

When he finally has his child in his arms he's all over it

Kisses, cooing, holding, hugging or even just staring at it

He may not know much about being a father, but he will try his best to teach his child not to go down the path he did because he already loves it to the moon and back

[thurio-edau]

SBG GANG MENTAL ANALYSIS

yup, him for part two. funny thing despite Aiden being my favourite character I'm most excited for the other three posts I'll make, especially the last one. there's a lot to unpack here so

also im writing this with a migraine pls read it-

Part 2: Aiden Clark

ah, yes. the obviously-mentally-ill from the start fan favourite Aiden Clark. let's go.

first, I want to start with something I find really important about his character, what makes him heavily mischaracterized in the fandom. the 'psychopath' cliche.

the terms 'psychopath', 'insane' and 'unstable' are often confused with each other due to media stereotypes, such as Aiden here. one, he is not a psychopath. psychopath literally means a self-centered person who lacks sympathy, affection and care; making them far from most other characters in their franchise. their lack of sympathy/empathy often makes them criminalized, here

disturbing content warning, for an example of a psychopath.

let's take Gressil from Homesick for example since a lot of SBG readers also read Homesick. so, here, Gressil is a perfect example of an actual psychopath. his lack of empathy makes him torment others, he's very self-centered. and when asked why he's doing this? he says he was bored. let's look at Aiden here. what does Aiden do when bored? probably dumb ideas or annoy Tyler. not torturing people for fun. Aiden is just a boy who likes thrills, but he has a sense of empathy, care and justice.

you wanna see a psychopathic Aiden?? the canvas is it

(our local Logan hater is publishing the canvas eps go checc beachy out)

but that's him, not our Aiden. canvas does not equal originals y'all

alright, now since we got that cleared out!! firstly, ADHD.

I think everyone in the fandom is already aware that Aiden is ADHD but I'm still going to talk about it just like Ashlyn's autism. Red has also said that she wrote Aiden with ADHD in mind but hadn't canonically confirmed anyone as neurodivergent. let's start with the main symptoms of ADHD, also known as Attention Decifit and Hyperactivity Disorder.

I know about 5 different ADHD people myself and did some research, it probably won't be extremely accurate since I'm not ADHD myself, but I'll try to do whatever I can. first with the AD part, Attention Decifit.

now as seen, he doesn't exactly have any problems with theorizing itself. but the problem is that his attention just goes away easily.

i mean cmon bro was making memes on the job

he tries to do work, but can't. he has a low attention span which makes him not able to concentrate. he can't keep it up for long, he'll get distracted or bored too easily about things that doesn't interest in specially.

it's just distracting. what his attention is on constantly changes, there's more to that after the ADHD part but we're here for now.

the hyperactivity... it's a lot more apparent. but I should explain the insane-unstable thing before that.

insane means that someone's mental health is not in an okay situation, where it prevents the person from thinking normally, acting rationally, very often found together with delusions. the person is seriously mentally ill where it might count as a disability.

unstable, however, where someone is prone to psychiatric problems, has moodswings etc. they're not exactly the most sane person, but they aren't insane either. Aiden here, obviously falls on the unstable side. maybe just a little bit insane if you squint. this will be brought up later too, but it mixed well with his hyperactivity too.

and as we all know, our boy isn't exactly the most stable person. (sorry for the collages, but since there is a tumblr picture limit i have to keep on collaging. yes i learnt from the last time) his hyperactivity mixes with his unstable mindset which makes him incresingly vulnerable to danger- which he likes. from when the first shift happened, he's been really careless about stuff but it's been all about his love for thrill.

and it irritates Tyler, too.

the main subplot about his character is that he's a person of excitement. guess what? ADHD people like the excitement, they like new things, they like the adrenaline and thrill. now, Aiden's main characteristic of being unstable mixed with ADHD makes him an even more reckless person. another thing mixing with the hyperactivity, is boundaries.

this part will mostly be about Ashlyn since the boundary issue only happens with her.

I talked about this on Ashlyn's side on my Ashlyn analysis, now it's time for Aiden's side.

he's really annoying to her at first. Ashlyn is someone with lots of boundaries, like high walls. and who tries to climb them with his dumbass? Aiden of course.

she kept rejecting his efforts to befriend her for some time, until the night they stole the jeep. then she managed to actually bring the walls down, and accept them all into her life. but damn was she blunt.

felt that honestly

and Aiden understands her that night, too.

Ashlyn was hesistant to hug him, yes, he was aware. but she still did which made him realize she was also trying. i have to tell you, people with ADHD and people with autism either have trouble getting along, or go perfectly well. my ADHD sibling for example, I have to push them away for a lot and tell them to lower their voice. but once they remember my boundaries it actually becomes a normal, even pleasant hangout. which, Aiden realizes and tries to get along with. he tries.

seeing his efforts on her boundaries makes something click in her mind. and she starts to be a lot nicer when they hang out in the arcade.

Aiden eventually learns and remembers what she's like and what she loves to do. he already tried to watch her ballet sessions once -got slammed-, he's been to her room where he remembered the mat from and her fighting makes it obvious. I'm sure he knew he'd get cooked by betting that. but he still did,

because he knew it'd interest her. which he succeeded, he saw her smile again. the arcade day went great until Barron and his gang pulled up, but if we ignore that part it all went well. Aiden started to understand and respect her boundaries.

anyways then Tyler fucking dies

he knows that Ashlyn feels guilty. Aiden wants to comfort her through it, but also do it correctly. without going over any boundaries. which makes him really,

really,

really surprised when she responds.

also including this pannel cause its hilarious

here we see that he's still trying. hell, I'm sure he spent minutes thinking if he should come close physically to help her. that's probably why he just nudged her softly before anything else. he's not used to it, he has to conciously make an effort to not cross said boundaries. keeping his voice lower, try to not be so reckless, not doing anything physically close unless she reciprocates. wow how i wish another someone i knew irl tried that hard instead of blaming it on me cOUGH COUGH COUGH

also other small things to include

he's yapping a lot

he has a comically large amount of puzzles in his backpack for one single trip

and sticks his head into lamps for some reason

but that's just Aiden and his little neurodivergent brain for ya.

now the part I wanted to get to the most.

Borderline Personality Disorder.

first, what is Borderline Personality Disorder?

shortened as BPD, borderline is when someone's mood is inconsistent and swinging. think of it's name; the person's mental state is in the border, in the border line, switching up fastly. the most easily understood and common type is when the person goes from a depression to a happy state. but no matter which state they are in and/or go to, one thing stays the same: it is unstable.

one thing about borderline is that it is frequently mixed with bipolar. however bipolar is a neurodivengercy which means it is what someone is born with and cannot be changed. but borderline is obtained later in life. it usually happens with depression. bipolar is much more random and the episodes last longer in comparison. it may last up to hours, and the person's memory might have trouble remembering their episodes. borderline, on the other hand, is a short-lived mood swing.

now here. here's the catch; people with BPD during mood swings can have reckless behaviour, suicidal thoughts -in his case as far as we know, lowered sense of protecting himself- or a loss of understanding danger. sounds familiar?

borderline's recklessness and dangerousness, sometimes self-destructive acts combines with ADHD's love for thrill and excitement, combined with Aiden's own personality all make up for a great condition of instability.

Aiden's behaviour constantly goes crazy, I think his most frequent mood swing might be his normal self (at least, as normal as he could be) to this more maniac way of acting. I noticed it from his eyes, when he's in a more calm-ish normal state his pupils are a bit more dilated. in the pictures above, you can clearly see that he's still in the episode; filled with the adrenaline, the unstable way of thinking.

but, what causes that? surely a mental illness such as borderline doesn't happen on it's own.

right?

cause it didn't.

it never works that way.

but it can get better.

eventually.

but what happened to him?

personally, as much as a large amounnt of people seems to believe it's something like family abuse I don't think so. maybe neglect, maybe withdrawal, maybe maybe. but we've seen his parents. I don't think they would hurt him like that. I can't put any more pictures, but this is the last part anyway. his parents seem to be kind and gentle, despite that picture in his house. I'm thinking the picture was only for the dramatic effect. his parents said that he used to be really calm and quiet during Lily's birthday, and both Aiden and Ben seem comfortable around them. they were happy taking Ben in too, any kind of abusive parent wouldn't do that at least that's what I believe. also there is that Aiden got serious and concerned when he learnt that their parents were also in the facility, most likely worried for his own as you would have thought.

there was a post that I've been trying to find for like half an hour, I commented on it but I can't find the post now. the person talked about their own theory. if I remember correctly it was that when Aiden was depressive as a child, his parents took him to a thrilling activity like the ones he's been talking about (bungee-jumping, skydiving etc.) and the thrill made him actually get excited. which is why his parents allowed him to go even more reckless, because they are aware of how prone their son could be to the depression.

what happened? let's ignore the parents factor. someone can have a loving family and still be traumatized, someone can be taken care of and still feel abandoned, someone can never have confronted a situation they are terrified of.

one of my theories is that, the loneliness. it must get to a child heavily considering children need to not be left alone, but Aiden was. he didn't have any actual friends since they always moved from one place to another from his parents' business, and they might have not had enough time to make for him (which I believe is bullshitting, every child deserves to be taken some time out for. some people quit their jobs entirely for their child.) and be unaware, and that doesn't change that he was still depressed and alone. his depressive state was seemingly before Ben was taken in. now here one thing with borderline, at least from my experience, is faking actions. smiles, laughs, friendships, conversations... almost as if there's two different lives; one fake, and one real. you keep on switching, you keep on swinging between the sides where you're yourself and where you're just mimicking 'normal human behaviour'.

it starts from faking a happy state during their depression, and by time you're faking it it becomes an automatic adition to your personality. to your mind. once it furthers, it becomes the disorder. Aiden we see is always smiling. it becomes a habit that only breaks sometimes. now, I'm not saying his smile is fake- I think his face is literally just stuck like that. it breaks ever so slightly sometimes. fake it till ya make it yanno? that kind of thing. and when he swings from his calm mood to his borderline-d mood, his pupils get small and his smile gets worse. noticably worse. I'll be rereading the series (AGAIN) and this time look at all the small details since Red loves putting them and I love theorizing so

which, wraps up the Aiden thing! im actually really proud of how i could put my thoughts into text which i never could. i'd love any additions because i love other opinions as well.

and you know what? im glad Ash and Ai are out of the place because the rest are what I'm actually looking forward to >:)

...and i should sleep. really.

(wow sorry yall i finished this hours ago and said 'alright reread to make sure its good before sleep' and fell asleep through it lol sorry for 4 hour delay ig)

(leaving for school rn see yall 8 hours later 🫡)

[witchhazelevesque]

I often see Calypso’s curse described as ‘she’s forced to love anyone that comes to her island’ but that’s not exactly what happens:

“You asked about my curse, Percy. I did not want to tell you. The truth is the gods send me companionship from time to time. Every thousand years or so, they allow a hero to wash up on my shores, someone who needs my help. I tend to him and befriend him, but it is never random. The Fates make sure that the sort of hero they send…” “They send a person who can never stay,” she whispered. “Who can never accept my offer of companionship for more than a little while. They send me a hero I can’t help…just the sort of person I can’t help falling in love with.” … “The Fates are cruel. They sent you to me, my brave one, knowing that you would break my heart.”

Battle of the Labyrinth, 223

The most pertinent bits are in color.

It’s not that she’s magicked into loving someone against her will, it’s that the Fates handpick people she would have loved anyway. As in, they have qualities she admires/values and finds herself able to love (big asterisk here). And the Fates make sure that of those people she could love, they pick ones that can’t stay with her.

This isn’t exactly retconned in House of Hades, but she does shift the blame more to the gods and doesn’t mention the Fates in this exchange:

“They were all the same! The gods send me the greatest heroes, the ones I cannot help but…” “You fall in love with them,” Leo guessed. “And then they leave you.” Her chin trembled. “That is my curse. I had hoped to be free of it by now, but here I am, still stuck on Ogygia after three thousand years.”

House of Hades, 378

But the focus is still on the fact that the people who come to her island can’t stay. The way it’s phrased here, it does makes sense how it could be taken as ‘she’s forced to love anyone’, but that’s not what’s happening.

Her curse is centered around being abandoned while stuck on her island. It’s only a curse because she’s imprisoned. She cites that as the reason she isn’t free from this curse. It’s not a set-and-forget work of magic that controls her emotions. It’s more of an active situation for the gods or Fates, where they orchestrate the delivery of the source of her pain each millennia, and then the rest comes in Calypso dealing with the aftermath of her companions leaving.

That big asterisk: Percy and Leo should not be included in this category. They’re children.

So, why is any of this even happening?

Blame Riordan and his weird, failed attempt to depict Calypso as a teenager; he did a horrible job.

Granted, it wouldn’t have worked no matter what he did, just by the nature of immortality. But he, for some reason, keeps shooting himself in the foot by hammering in her age. I don’t have access to the ToA books but some examples: Apollo saying she was old enough to be his babysitter, the way she got dreamy eyed at remembering things that happened before her imprisonment, the fact that she was there when Zeus was a child (by immortal standards).

Calypso is aware of time passing, and she retains all her memories of the thousands of years she existed, both on and off Ogygia. Time is weird on her island, but it does still move forward. She is literally, emotionally and mentally thousands of years old.

The only leg work RR does to depict Calypso as a teenager is to make her look like a teenager and then try to set up romantic situations with actual teenagers. For comparison, RR has Hestia take the form of a child, but no one acts like she actually is a child.

Later, RR has Calypso do things like want to go to high school and band camp, but that doesn’t make sense. Her wanting to have new experiences does, yes, but not ones that are for teenagers. That’s not indicative of her being a child, it’s more of RR’s lukewarm effort to make her a teenager.

I don’t have some hard hitting point to this distinction, I just think it’s important to know what’s actually being portrayed and how it’s being done. Calypso isn’t forced magically, in universe to fall in love, but she is forced to narratively.

My overall point though is, as usual, be critical of Riordan’s choices. He set up this thing where he wants the audience to believe that Calypso is so compatible with Percy and Leo that even the gods take notice, but it doesn’t work because she isn’t a teenager like they are.

[dbnightingale24]

React

A Stepcest Love Story About Jim

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Chapter 1, Chapter 2

Trying to decide if I should do one update or two this weekend. Either way, I hope you all enjoy it!

Word Count: 4,963

Warning(s): SMUT (MINORS DNI), Swearing, Family Drama, Infidelity, Step-Daughter/Step-Father relations, Emotional Cheating, Drinking, Arguing, Forbidden Love, Lying, Self Loathing, Sneaking Around...I think that's it.

Summary: This is the final straw that breaks the camel's back.

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I do not give permission/consent for my stories/works to get posted elsewhere. I do not condone this type of relationship/behavior, this is for entertainment purposes only.

~~

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Chapter 3

2 Weeks Later...

Ever since you and Jim fell asleep holding each other close on your bed, you’ve done your best to stay away. Coming up with any excuse to reject any invite your Mother extends. It was silly of you to think that she wouldn’t ask Jim to text you on her behalf. 

Unknown Number: Y/N?

Y/N: Who is this?

Unknown Number: Uh, it’s Jim.

Y/N: How did you get my number?

Unknown Number: Your Mother.

Y/N: Of course. Of course.

Unknown Number: She thinks you’re mad at her because you won’t come over, and thinks you’ll talk to me.

Y/N: I’m not mad at anyone, it’s just better for me to stay away.

Unknown Number: We don’t think so.

Y/N: Jim...don’t.

Unknown Number: Nothing happened.

Y/N: Did you tell her?

Unknown Number: No, because there’s nothing to tell her.

On the one hand, you know that the both of you know that’s total bullshit. On the other hand, technically, nothing did happen. Plus, you know the more you stay away, the more she’s going to bother you and Jim which wouldn’t be good either. So, you explain everything to Ciara, and while she gives you a stern talking to, she agrees to accompany you to whatever your Mother invites you to.

“So, are you two a thing now?” she scoffed once she poured the both of you a cup of coffee.

“That’s not funny.”

“You’re the one who cuddled him-”

“We were both just drunk and overwhelmed. You know how I get when I’m drunk, and you know I only drink like that when I’m around her, Rose, or the both of them at once.”

“Fair point. Well, how do you feel about him?”

“I don’t know? Nothing. He’s my stepfather-”“Yeah, cause that matters.”

“Ci, I’m sitting here asking you to be my decoy. I’m very much aware of what can’t happen.”

“It’s not like you need someone to play devil’s advocate in this situation, but she did go out of her way to keep him a secret and make you the bad guy.”

“He’s good for her and I don’t need her thinking I took someone else from her-”“You’ve never taken anything from her.”“You and I both know that’s not how she views any of it. She had no problems until she got knocked up with me.”

“I hate your Mother.”“Yeah, I know,” you laughed. “Just gotta get through the Summer,” you smiled weakly.

The plan worked well enough, because whenever Ciara didn’t feel like being there or could sense that you were feeling uncomfortable, she could easily say- 

“Darragh needs help with Nora, she’s become really fussy lately. I’m sorry, but we have to go. Y/N is always our last hope if we can’t calm her ourselves.”

Well, apparently that excuse was working too well, because two nights ago you got a call you’d been praying to avoid.

“Jim’s children are coming over this weekend! You’ll be able to make it, right?” your Mother beamed as soon as you picked up the phone.

Jim had to be standing right next to her. 

“Oh...why would I be coming?”

“To meet them! They’re your step-siblings!”

“Uh...Ciara and I made plans with Darragh, cause he’ll be dropping Nora. We figured we all go out.”

“That’s even better! We can all hangout together!”

“Mum, why not-”

“Y/N, it’ll be good for everyone. They need to meet you. We’re all a family now.”

How the fuck is this your fault?

“Yeah, you’re right. Fine.”

“Why are you upset?”“I’m not upset about anything. I’ll see you then-”

“You don’t know the time-”“Just text it to me,” you bit before hanging up.

All of this leads to why you’re currently pacing around in your childhood bedroom. You don’t even know why you’re flustered. You already knew he has children, so why does it matter so much? Why do you care if they like you? It shouldn’t make a difference whether they like you or not. It’s not like you’re going to be hanging around much, especially when you go back to school, so why it driving you mad now?

“Hey, you okay?” Jim asks softly as he makes his way into your room, closing the door behind him.

You just glare at him as you continue to pace.

“What? This wasn’t my idea. We got to talkin’ about doin’ somethin’ small for the weekend, and she realized that my children haven’t met you, and decided to put this together.”

“You don’t want me to meet them?”

“It’s not that.”

“Well, what is it, then?”

“I don’t want them to meet you like this. All flustered and mad-”

“I’m not mad.”

“Don’t be a liar.” “I shouldn’t even be here. What the fuck?!”

“Calm down,” he begs softly, placing his hands on either side of you.

God, you hate how much you’ve missed his touch.

“They’re going to love you, today is going to be fine, and it’ll be done with before you know.”

“How do you know they’ll love me?”

“I know my kids.” “Jim-”

“Don’t stay away anymore.” “God, I can’t have that talk right now.” “What talk?”

“Don’t make me feel stupid on top of everything else!”

“We didn’t do anything-” “Jim, you flirted with me that night. We were standin’ outside my room, you flirted with me, and I liked it. I liked it a lot. Then, we stayed up talking and fell asleep holding each other...I shouldn’t be here.”

“Angel-” “You’re married to my Mother, Jim! My Mother! I can’t...we can’t-”

Taking a deep breath, he releases you and looks down at you. His eyes search the features, while you get lost in his ocean blue eyes.

“I don’t want...we just get along,” he smiles softly at you. “Aren’t we supposed to? I’m not trying to be some sort of father figure in your life, because you clearly don’t need one. If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll only speak to you when you’re here-”

“It won’t, Jim. That’s the problem. It will just-”

“Here you two are!” Ciara whisper yells as she makes her way into your room. “Lover boy, I’m gonna need you to get down there and rein in your wife.” “What do you mean?”

“Her nerves are winning the battle and shes started drinking.” He scowls as he storms out, “fucks sake!”

You finally feel like you can breathe again. 

“What the fuck was that?!”

Shaking your head, you make your way over to your bed and sit, “I shouldn’t be here.”

“You tried to get out of it-”

“Ci, I shouldn’t be here. I should be as far away from him as possible, and-”

“Why...you don’t...Y/N-”

“It’s just a crush,” you quickly defend, but the scoff that leaves her mouth lets you know that she doesn’t believe you at all. “It is!”

“Your stepfather?”

“I haven’t even known him that long! Okay, this is exactly what I mean. I shouldn’t be here.”

“Alright, his kids aren’t here yet. Darragh is already fed up with your Mother, so it shouldn’t be hard for us to get out of here.” Grabbing your hand, she quickly leads you out of the room, “lets go.”

Ciara and Darragh exchange a look as he bounces Nora in his arms, and as  soon as her foot hits the bottom step, and he’s instantly getting up, Nora giggling at his fast movement. They decided to bring her last minute, and it honestly brought you more comfort than you thought it would. 

“Y/M/N I just remembered, I told my parents we’d come by today with Y/N, and it’s too late to cancel-”

“Nonsense!” your Mother slurs as she appears with a smile painted on her face, as an exasperated Jim follows behind her. “The kids are excited and almost here-”

“I figure we can leave now and just come back tomorrow for lunch or something. They’re here for the-”

He’s cut off by the doorbell ringing, and you close your eyes in defeat. Fuck.

You muster the best smile you can as you make your way to the front door, “Hi, I’m Y/N.”

His ex-wife has mixture of irritation and anger on her face, but she does her best to hide it with a smile. 

“You must be the stepdaughter,” she smiles bitterly, and you force yourself to swallow down your irritation.

You still don’t even know how you ended up in this situation.

“I’m Y/N,” you greet as the two children run towards Jim, who’s more than happy to greet them and give them bear hugs.

You hate how much it pulls on your heartstrings.

“Hey Danielle!” your Mother slurs and Danielle looks completely taken aback.

It’s not as if you can blame her.

“It’s been a while!”

“I’ve been so busy,” your Mother laughs, engulfing her in a hug.

You just want the ground to swallow you whole. 

You shake your head and offer a kind smile towards Danielle before telling her, “my best friend, her boyfriend and child, and I will be here all night.”

“Glad to hear it,” she laughs awkwardly, once your Mother finally lets go of her.

“Thanks for bringing ‘em, Danielle,” Jim offers softly as he comes up behind you, mindlessly resting his hand on your shoulder.

The look on her face lets you know that she thinks this is Peyton’s Place, or something close to it. Once again: you can’t blame her.

“You’ll give me a ring if something happens, yeah?” she asks Jim.

“Of course,” he promises with a small chuckle.

Danielle gives your Mother one last look before looking at you and nodding, turning, and leaving.

“Who’s up for a movie?!” you ask excitedly, turning around and making your way back into the house, being met with cheers.

God save you from the hell that’s about to reign down on you.

**

“It’s like your Mother constantly goes out of her way to be a bitch,” Ciara scowls and you laugh.

You’ve done your best to keep your Mother at bay, but it’s been useless. You gave the children (your “siblings”) a choice between ‘Shrek’ and ‘Robots’, and you were so happy they chose ‘Robots’. Your Mother always hated Shrek (for reasons forever unknown to you), and you were afraid it would’ve pushed her further into whatever anxiety depressed state she was in. Turns out, no matter what, she was determined to push herself further into her stupor.

“They really seem to fuckin’ love you,” she slurred as she plopped herself down on one of the kitchen chairs, drink in hand. 

“Mother, stop,” you snapped, “these are your stepchildren! Get it together!”

“Why did ya even have to come home?”

“You invited me for the Summer!”

“Ya just had to-”

“Go to bed,” 

“Is everythin’ okay in here?” Jim asked softly as he made his way into the kitchen. 

“As if you give a fuck,” she mumbled before she took another sip of her drink.

“Stop it!” you snapped again in a hushed tone. “Go upstairs and sleep it off.”

“I’m your Mother!”

“It’s a shame you’ve never acted like it. Now go!”

She mumbled something incoherent as she grabbed her glass and got up. She glared at you before got on her tiptoes and kissed Jim on the cheek, then finally made her way upstairs. You wanted to throw the bottle against the wall, but you knew it would only make things worse for everyone involved.

“Angel-”

“You sure picked a real fuckin’ winner,” you scoffed humorlessly as you started to pace.

“Just calm down-”

“Are ya okay?”

“I’m fine, just take a moment,” he begged as he stood in front of you.

“This was her idea and...I’m leaving tomorrow.”

“Don’t do that.”

“Why not? Me being here only makes things worse. Only makes her worse.”

“I want you here.”

“Once I’m gone, she’ll be back to the way she was before. You’ll be living in wedded bloody bliss again in no time.”

“Angel, you don’t get it,” he chuckled humorlessly as he cupped your face and looked down at you.

“Fuck.”

“Yeah.”

“Jim...no. If anything, that means that I really need to leave.”

“I won’t...I can’t. We can’t...right?”

“Of course!”

“Then why are you lookin at me like that?” he asked softly.

You should’ve moved away from him. You should’ve said ‘no’, but you just stood there like deer stuck in the headlights.

“Tell me you’ll stay.”

“Jim I...”

“Say it, Angel.”

“It’s not right.”

“I know, but I can’t stop it. I don’t want to.”

“I’m your stepdaughter, Jim. This can’t happen.”

“Do you really feel that way? Do you look to me as a Father figure?”

“You know I don’t, but...you’re married. To my Mother.”

“Angel, I have tried so hard, but this...this feels right. Doesn’t it feel right to you? Like it should’ve always been like this?”

“Jim-”

“Doesn’t it feel right?”

You inhaled deeply before you closed your eyes, “yes.”

“I want to be yours, Angel.”

“Jim...stop it. We can’t do this. You’re just mad at her right now, and you have every right to be. You’ll feel differently in-”

“It’s never felt like this with her. Even before you, I’ve never felt the same towards her as I do for you, or for anyone for that matter. I didn’t know I could.”

“Please don’t tell me this. I can’t hear it, Jim.”

“Then let me show you.”

He didn’t give you a chance to even think before he crashed his lips into yours. You hated how natural it felt, because it was wrong. It was wrong on so many levels. The kiss was gentle, but desperate, like he knew it wouldn’t last long. Like he knew it couldn’t last long. Instinctively, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer, loving the way your bodies meshed together as you tried to sear this moment and feeling into your brain. 

You knew this could never happen again.

He backed you against the kitchen wall and gripped your ass tight, before he hoisted you up and you wrapped your legs around his slim frame. The man didn’t look it, but he was stronger than you imagined.

And you’d imagined a lot.

You moaned as he started to kiss down from your jawline to your neck, “Jim...please.”

“I’ll do anything you want, Angel. Just tell me what you want.”

“You,” you whimpered as you ground yourself against him.

“Fuck!”

“I just want you!” you assured him as quietly as you could. “I just need you!”

“Can’t wait to-”

“Dad! Do you need help with anythin’?!” his son called from the living area, and it pulled you both out of your trances.

“No, I’ll be back with the popcorn soon!” Jim called as he looked up into your eyes. 

When the hell did he even start making popcorn?

He slowly put you down as he let out a heavy sigh, “I’m sorry, I just couldn’t...we shouldn’t keep dancing around this.”

“I’ll leave in the morning-”

“I don’t want that at all. Stay tonight and we’ll figure this all-”

“Jim, this can’t happen again. Ever again.”

“We both want it to-”

“This will fan out before it even has a chance to turn into anything-”

“I love you.”

“Stop it, Jim.”

“I love you. I’m in love with you.”

“I’m just a nice vacation from my Mother, and you’ll-”

“You think that’s all I want? Close your legs to me forever, I’ll still want you, Angel.”

“Jim-”

“We can figure this out.”

“We have! We can’t do this ever again.”

He chuckled humorlessly as he pressed himself against you, “is that what you truly believe? That this is the end of it?”

“Jim-”

“Dad!” his son yelled, which only made him chuckle softly.

“I’m comin’” he called back. “This isn’t done,” he promised before he walked away.

Since that little incident in the kitchen, you’ve avoided all eye contact with Jim, as well as any close encounters. You feel like everyone will know if you two lock eyes, and you truly can’t deal with that right now. You can’t deal with any of it. How the hell did it even get this point? Just this morning, he told you that there’s nothing to be worried about, and now...?

You can’t do this. You can’t fall for this trap. He’s just hurting, and it’ll all go to shit. How can he be in love with you? He barely even knows you, but he claims to be in love with you? How would it even work? It can’t. Your Mother will hate the both of you, and she’d have every right. This is so-

“Babe, did you hear me?” Ciara laughs softly, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“I’m sorry, no, I’m so drained,” you chuckle softly, shaking your head.

You’ve got to stop.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna stay over tonight?”

“I should stay. Who knows what she’ll be like in the morning, and I don’t want the kids dealing with her with just Jim. If the day needs to be saved, I’ll be here.”

“Well, aren’t you noble? Well, that and I’m sure you want to continue what you and Jim started.”

You can feel your blood freezing.

“What...how...?”

“Besides the way you avoided him like the plague, I was going in there to check on you, and saw you up against the wall, and him being the reason for it.”

“Oh my God!”

“I’m not going to say anything and I’m not going to judge you. However, you two do need to figure this out, and figure it out soon.”

 “I don’t even know how it got to this point. He claims he’s in love with me, but how can that be? Besides, there’s no way we can actually be together,” you groan, dropping your face into your hands. “The smart thing to do is to leave, isn’t it?”

“It is.”

“Then why is so damn hard for me to agree to leave?”

“Because you like him...a lot.”

“I’ve barely even spent time with him.”

“But the time ya have spent with him has been intimate. You both got to know each other in a personal way.”

“He’s my stepdad!”

“It’s not like you’re a child. You’re a grown woman.”

“He’s married to my Mother.”

“Because that’s goin’ so well.”

“She was fine until I came home.”

“She invited you home for the Summer! She has no reason to act like this, besides, if you didn’t set her off something else would have. She can only hide her real self for so long.”

“What if he’s actually good for her?”

“You think she can come back from this? Babe, even if he doesn’t end up with you, he’s never going to stay with her. Especially after that spectacle tonight,” she scoffs while placing her hands on her hips. “In case you forgot, she didn’t tell you that she got married.”

“C, this isn’t right.”

“I never said that it was. It’s backwards as shit, but I’ve seen the way you two look at one another. The way you both try not to look at one another. There’s something between the both of you.”

“There shouldn’t be. There shouldn’t be for so many reasons,” you sob as tears fill your eyes.. “God, maybe I’ll just head back early-”

“And go where? Do what?”

“C-”

“Just talk to him. He clearly has some things he needs to say so, at least, clear the air.”

“I can’t think when I’m around him.”

“I don’t think he’s much better, love,” she giggles softly as she gives your hand a gentle squeeze.

“I shouldn’t be this torn up about this.”

“The heart wants what it wants. Like I said, just talk. See what happens,” she smiles reassuringly before wrapping you in a tight hug. “It’s gonna be okay.”

“I don’t see how it can be.”

“Just give it time. Everything in life requires time,” she assures you, letting go as both Darragh and Jim walk in. “Tell me how it goes.”

She gives you a quick kiss on the cheek along with a reassuring nod, before making her way over to Darragh, taking his hand, and walking out. You hear Nora coo softly when Ciara lifts her up, and a small smile comes to your face.

You’d choose her life over yours any day, honestly.

The door closes and you know you’re alone with Jim which, in some ways, is the last thing you want.

“Where are the kids?” you ask softly, avoiding Jim’s heated and heavy gaze.

“Everyone’s asleep, Angel,” he promises as he corners you.

That nickname is gonna drive you insane.

“Then we should be too.”

“We’re not done-”

“Jim, I’m just a welcomed distraction. You’ll get over this. Over me.”

“I don’t want to-”

“Jim, we can’t-”

“I know your heart rate speeds up when we’re alone, Angel. Mine does too. You want me the same way I want you.”

“Sex and intimacy are not the same thing.”

“And I never said that’s what this is.”

“Jim, this can’t happen anymore-”

“You don’t think about me the same way I think about you? You don’t want me in the same way I want you?”

“She’s my Mother, Jim.”

“Do you think of me as your Stepfather? As your Father?”

“You know I don’t.”

“Then what’s wrong?” he asks as he cups your face.

“This can be the only time we do this,” you breathe as he closes the space between the both of you. “Fuck.”

“There’s my good girl,”

“Jim...we can still stop.”

“We don’t want to.”

“We shouldn’t in here,” you breathe, mind foggy as you feel his breath on your neck.

“Anything and anywhere you want,” he husks before planting feverish kisses along your neck.

Fuck, is this really going to happen?

“Maybe...maybe we should wait-”

“I can’t wait anymore, Angel.”

“What if she wakes up?”

He’s quicker than you ever imagined as he stands up straight and leads you through the house. Almost in an instant, he’s leading you downstairs and into the spare room your grandparents had made for you to hide in when their arguments with your Mother got to be too much for you.

“Problem solved,” he husks before crashing his lips into yours.

It’s wrong, on so many levels, but it feels so good. He feels so good.

“Tell me this isn’t just sex,” you moan while he kisses down your body.

“Angel, this is so much more to me,” he promises, unbuttoning your shorts and pulling down. “I love you so much,” he groans, taking in your scent.

“Jim!”

“Been dreamin’ of this cunny, Angel. Let Daddy have a taste.”

You bite down hard on your bottom and swallow down your moan as he starts to suck on your clit. Lulling your head back, you close your eyes and grip his hair tight, quickly forgetting about all the guilt you felt only moments ago.

You gasp when you feel two slender fingers push their way inside, “fuck! You’re so....ahh fuck!” you whimper as quietly as you can.

Feeling the vibration from his moaning, has you ready to cum on the spot, but you’re not ready for it to end so fast.

Jim isn’t having that.

“Don’t make me beg, Angel,” he growls, looking up at you, fucking you faster with his fingers. “Give it to me.”

“I fucking...don’t wanna...fuck!”

“C’mon, Angel. Give me what I need,” he begs, using his thumb to massage your clit. 

“Fuck!”

“You sound so beautiful,” he groans doubling down on his efforts .

Your legs almost buckle as your orgasm washes over you, your desire soaks his wrist, and he fucks you through your high.

“You’re really somethin’ else,” he smirks as he slowly stands up, looking down at you with love and adoration in his eyes, while he slowly removes his fingers. “So lovely and all mine,” he whispers before delivers another soul stealing kiss.

You can taste yourself on his lips, and it only turns you on even more. Wrapping your arms around him, you let yourself get lost in him, almost completely oblivious to the fact that Jim is moving you both back towards the bed.

“Stop,” you breathe, forcing yourself to let go of him once you feel the back of your legs against the bed. “Take your shirt off.”

Lust floods his eyes as he takes a step back and slowly takes off his shirt. 

If you’re going to Hell, you may as well enjoy the ride.

Your hand lightly traces over his chest as you marvel, “you’re beautiful.”

“You’re one to talk,” he chuckles softly, caressing the side of your face. “If you want to stop-”

“We’ve already started,” you giggle softly.

“I love you, Y/N. I don’t want this to be over after tonight.”

“Lets just be here tonight, my love,” you smile weakly.

It’s not like you can blame alcohol, because you haven’t had a drink all day. This is a choice you’re making all on your own. You can’t even find it in you to feel bad right now because, with how he’s looking at you, the only thing you feel is love.

“Show me how much ya love me tonight,” you whisper as you undo his jeans. “Show me how much you need me.”

In no time at all, you’re both naked and under the covers of your long forgotten “emergency” bed. A very small part of you is still in shock over what’s about to take place, but as worships your body with his tongue, you instantly realize that it’s not enough to call it off and pretend it isn’t happening.

When you feel his tongue massage your right nipple while he sucks on it like it’s the world’s best lollipop, all regrets and guilt go out the window. 

“Angel?” Jim breathes, propping himself and looking down at you.

“Yeah?”

“Say it,” he pleads, slowly spearing into you.

“Oh fuck!”

“Please...fuck!” he grunts, gripping the sheets a bit tighter. “Please...please fuckin’ say it!” he begs desperately as he starts to pick up his pace.

“Fuck, I love you! I love you so...oh God!” you groan as he starts to pick up the pace. 

“You’re perfect.”

“Jim!”

“I know, Angel...just...Jesus, ya grippin’ me so tight!”

“Fuck...so close!! Right there...ahht!!”

“C’mon, Angel!”

“Jim...oh...OH!!”

You both go right over the edge at the same time, with Jim dipping down to kiss you in a weak attempt to silence your moans.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Give me a second,” Jim laughs softly, resting his head in the crook of your neck, while softly resting his body on top of yours.

“We’re fucked. We’re so fucked,” you laugh humorlessly.

“Angel, we’re going to be together-”

“Jim, it’s not like this is some regular affair. You’re married to my Mother. You’re my Stepfather. No matter what happens, this can only end poorly.”

“Then why did you do it?” he questions, pushing himself up a little.

You cup his face and caress the right side softly, “because I love ya, Jim. I’m in love with ya.”

Jim says nothing, he just dips down and kisses you passionately, and you feel him come back to life fore you.

His thrusts start off slow as a smirk comes to his lips, “I think we should have one more go, yeah?”

You dig your nails into his shoulder blades as you arch your back, “please!”

You and Jim spend the next hour or so getting tangled in your sheets, with you two mainly telling each other how much you both love and need one another. Yes, you don’t know much about the man, but you know that you’re drawn to him in every way that a person can be drawn to someone. Your heart, soul, and mind, has never reacted to someone in this way.

He is the missing piece you’ve always been looking for.

“Jim?” you question softly, laying your head on his chest and softly playing with his chest hairs.

“Yeah?”

“We can’t do this ever again. Ya know that, right?”

“We’re gonna figure this out-”

“Jim, ya married her. My Mother. Ya can’t-”

“I’ll figure it out-”

“There’s nothing to figure out, and you know that. You’re married to my Mother and this...this is for tonight only. She may not be a good Mother, but she is my Mother. At one point, you loved her and when I’m gone, you will again. You’ll see-”

“I loved a version of her. This isn’t just some fling with you-’

“She’s my Mother, Jim! I know that I love ya, and I believe that you love me, but this can’t happen. She’d never forgive me and I wouldn’t blame her. God, if she had any idea...Jim, it can’t happen again.”

“I don’t want that.”

“I don’t either, but it’s for the best.”

“If it’s what’s best, I’ll do it,” he sighs heavily, pulling you closer to him.

“I love you, Jim.”

“I love you too, Angel.”

“You can’t be here in the morning.”

“Just let me hold you a bit longer,” he begs softly.

You nod your head softly as you blink back tears. You know that this is the right thing to do. Yeah, your heart is breaking, and you know this isn’t something you’re gonna get over over night, but it’s what needs to be done. Tonight is all you two have, but what a night it was. As you slowly start to drift off to sleep, a small smile comes to your face. For just a moment, you two had each other. You had it all.

Tomorrow, you’ll wake up and all of this will be a distant memory, and you’ll be strong enough to move on.

...right?

~~

[thatfrailsoul]

_

Slow down for a moment. Allow your heart to guide you, to tell you if there is really a message here for you and behind which image it hides... And whatever the answer is, feel free to listen to it or to let go. Remembering that when you will be ready or will have the need, your true message will find its way to you.♡

_

_

_

You have still so much to experience and live through, so many moments to create and feel... And yet what you got through until now left you already with so many scars and so much knowledge about how to heal and take care of ones tired heart and soul.

It's not an easy awareness to have within you. It makes your own feelings be overwhelming, so clear and much stronger then many people could bare and feel. It makes you unable to look away when others feel something, when they are the ones to feel turn apart and filled with pain. It makes you feel responsible, for you, for others, for this world... Even if you are not at all the one who causes this pain and despair around you. And it makes you hate this part of you, this gentleness and care that makes you so easy for others to use...

But while so many might have turned their back on you after using your strength and support to live through a moment, leaving you hurt and drained, sad of how often it happens again and again... Your readiness and willingness to feel so much, to understand so well and to find that one thing that could help others, is not at all something bad, a curse on your soul. It's an incredible gift, a natural call that you feel each time and can't resist. Something that so few in this world can do and really handle. Something that you should be proud of, regardless of the way others thank you or decide to take it for granted and to ignore. Because even if they are not with you, even if they might not understand or appreciate what you did for them, perhaps even misunderstanding it and feeling somehow hurt... They still live. They still overcame that storm. Healed that wound. They are still able to make further steps in this world. All thanks to you and to your gift of knowledge and feelings, and your courage to share it with others. To help through such powerful love and gentleness, that not anyone has the strength to embody and carry in this world.

_

_

You just can sense it. You can feel it under your skin... The moment something shifts and hides a danger, a truth that for anyone but you is hidden in plane sight.

So often you try to shake it off, perhaps thanks to so many advices and kind and helpful" opinions of others that convince you that its simply all your mind... But it never goes away does it? Even when you try so hard to not listen, your heart continues to whisper and warn you, guide you, past many situations and people that don't have at all your best in mind.

Some call it overthinking, trauma, deep fear and negative expectations about the way this world can treat you. Ohters call it intuition, inner knowledge, angels guarding you behind your back... But the truth is much deeper and sweeter. Hidden in everything you overcame all on your own, the battles you won not against the others, but against your own mind that was so mean to your poor heart. You protected it your protected your self every single time, no matter how hard it was to be able to see the truth and work on the subtle ways others and even your own self tried to manipulate you and hurt you. And now... Tha part of you knows and remembers it. Giving you back that love and care, that protection that you had the courage to give yourself, by guiding you thanks to an incredible power. The power that you on your own created and gifted to yourself.

_

_

It is not at all easy to deal with one's tired, confused, sometimes angry and furious mind. It's not at all easy to face it, try to calm it, looking for something positive, something that is worth to keep going, each time your mind screams how it's all useless and wrong. It's not easy to speak it's language, to be courageous enough to look each time deeper and be willing to understand where all that hate comes from... But you did it, again and again. Standing up for yourself, fighting, even when your worst and strongest enemy was your own insecure and vulnerable mind. You found, you find, again and again the motivation, reasons, to go further. To continue this life, these journeys, even if it means doing it one slow and challenging step at a time. You face it all and you overcome it.

Demonstrating each day to your mind how there is no need to be so scared and loud about it. That you can, indeed, have faith in yourself and be proud of each day that you live through moving forward. It is not easy. But you are able to do it again and again, despite it all. You are able to tap into the incredible power of your heart, of hope and faith, of the courage, and use it to help yourself. And to remind your mind and others that nothing is impossible. And that even the scariest and darkest nights can be faced with the light of our soul and the love for our own selves, that deserve to come out of it and experience all that this world and life has in store.

_

_

[orginllazyblog]

Where Are You?

Summary: Yuu stopped showing up in the HoM mainly because of the canon story still processing. This took place before and during Book 7.

Note: Gender-neutral Yuu (can use your Yuu oc for this)

It has been an exhausting day in school for Yuu. They just dealt with Idia's and Ortho's overblot a few weeks ago, and now Yuu has started to gain awareness. They notice how each overblot resembles the Great Seven's by the vivid dreams they are having, and now worrying for the next one. 

"*Sigh* I need to get ready for work. Just need to rest for a while before dinner." 

As minutes went by, Grim woke up Yuu to remind them that it's about to be dinner time, well, mainly to remind them of his tuna. Yuu couldn't blame Grim for this one, he did get kidnapped and probably never eaten his favorite food. 

"Sure, Grim. Let's go to Mr. Sam's shop. Maybe get more than three this time."

"Fnagh? You will?"

"Yes, I have been saving up from my job. Remember?"

"Oh yeah."

"Well then, let's go in a hurry as I have to go to work in about an hour."

*

*

*

In the House of Mouse, Yuu serves the food to the great sevens as they are the only waiter who wasn't afraid of them. Also the fact they can handle it. Yuu also knows about their evil deeds from their vivid dreams, but after dealing with the OB boys, they kind of got used to them and see the similarities between them. 

After their work hours, they are on their break so they went to the seven's table to chat with them.

"So Yuu, how's your day in Night Raven College?" (QoH)

"Busy as the upcoming exams are coming next month." 

"If you need help, you can ask one of your classmates. Why not ask Azul? I'm sure he'll help you without paying any debt." (Ursula)

"I'm pretty sure they'll ask Riddle as they are not what they call "shady" Ursula." (QoH)

"Aren't you forgetting that Leona is wiser than those two. He's even older than those brats." (Scar)

'Oh boy, here we go.' 

"Oh wait! I forgot to mention that I won't be able to come back to work."

"So when will you be back from your exams?" (EQ)

"I would say about a week or two. I'm not sure how long it'll take considering it's a different school system from my home world, but I know it won't take long."

During the conversation, Yuu didn't bring up another overblot incident, which happened to be the shroud brothers. They didn't want to make them worried, but Yuu still needs to tell them about their vivid dreams and know the truth about them. They just need to wait until the time is right. 

After hours pass, the clubhouse is about to close. Yuu farewell to the great sevens and the other disney characters as they left. Mickey congrat them and gave them their paycheck of 5,000 thuamarks. 

"Thank you, Mickey."

"No problem, Yuu."

"By the way Mickey, I won't be able to work in the next couple of weeks. I have an upcoming exam so I would need time to study and a small break as well."

"Oh okay, thank you for reminding me, Yuu. Remember to take it easy. I'll have to tell the other staff about it."

"No worries, I also told the great sevens about it. I'm sure the rest will understand my situation."

"Okie dokie! Good night, Yuu." 

Little does Yuu know this might be the last time they see the rest of the disney characters again.

________________

After a couple of weeks, Mickey and the staff were able to work knowing Yuu is busy with their education. There was some mischief going around, but it was only from Pete, and one of the great seven's shows up one time only. So far, everything seems normal. Nothing can go wrong… right?

It's been about a month, and the whole House of Mouse Club was panicking. Yuu should have been done with the exams. Where are they? Did something happen to them? 

Of course it wouldn't make sense, Yuu wouldn't just quit their job as they need money to buy their needs or send a message to Mickey or anyone to let them know. 

Even the great seven's were wondering what happened to them. Someone like Maleficent, who has access to travel to Twisted Wonderland world only to find out she can't.

 As if there is a barrier that she can't enter. That's when things are going downhill.

Mickey and his friends try to calm everyone down, but nothing seems to work. Until the lights went dim, the front stage, the screen went black. Then the loading screen started, which is not just any loading screen but the twisted wonderland loading screen. Everyone then quieted down as they sat down at their table as they watched how book 7 started.

*

* half an hour later…

*

With all there is, the screen went black again. With half of them, questions to what just happened and the sleeping beauty cast, now know what's going to happen next. 

Then again, 2 months later, the theater screen went black and the twst loading screen play. Now playing Book 7, chapter 2. 

"Hey Mal, do you know what's going on?" (Hades)

"How I'm I supposed to know? I can't enter Twisted Wonderland because the canon story is happening so I can't interfere." (Maleficent) 

"But do you know what will happen? This is where he will began to overblot." (Jafar) 

"Let's just watch it. There's no way my descendant won't-" (Maleficent)

*Malleus OB by end*

"..." (Maleficent) 

"You were saying~?" (Scar)

"Shut up." (Maleficent)

_______________________

Knowing there's like 5 chapters in Book 7, I have no clue for how long will I continue writing. So I just stop at where chpater 2

[gofancyninjaworld]

Blast is a mediocre hero

Talk about a controversial opinion! Well, I intend to defend it! With thanks to Eldrich_Void, who heard my rantings out.

This is not an opinion I rushed to. However, it has bothered me a lot that Blast seems to have a real track record for fucking things up. Almost all his endeavours seem to end up cursed in some way.

His evil partner, the ninja village horror he set up, and the way he seems intent on protecting the guy. His estranged son. The two heroes he saved both having serious complexes as a result. The monster he couldn't subdue.

Now that we get to see how he saw the situation on the ground, I think that Flashy Flash's accusing him of being unconscionably hesitant is right.

Under the circumstances, if I were Flash, I'd not trust that pressing that button would summon Blast in a manner timely enough to matter to me.

So, shall we see below the cut?

Before...

So, let's wind back all the way to chapter 165, back when Cosmic Garou landed. Remember then? He had time to pose for the benefit of the heroes gathered...

…then to look at himself, look at the heavens, and thank God for this gift of power.

Then Bang crawled up to Garou to try calling him back to his senses.

It took a while for the situation to ripen.

It's only in the next chapter, with Bang continuing to plead futilely with Garou, that Blast showed up.

Looks like he showed up as soon as he could.

So far, so good. It seemed that Blast came as soon as he could, given whatever else he was busy with. In the current timeline, Saitama came back from the future and punched Garou right when the latter looked up to thank God, so we thought, reasonably, that Blast never had a chance to appear. Case closed.

And looks like he didn't have an opportunity to show up.

But now we see more...

Several chapters have come and gone, and now we have a fuller picture of the event. And now we know that Blast was aware and on scene when Garou unleashed his gamma-ray burst:

Oh, so you were here.

We know too that Blast was on scene when Saitama appeared to punch out Cosmic Garou, before Bang even had a chance to crawl to Garou.

And there!

So Blast had had an opportunity to intervene earlier but did not take any action until after everyone was dropping dead and Bang was using the last of his energy to plead with Garou to come to his senses.

Okay, there's a place for observing the scene before you wade in so as not to make matters worse. As Drive Knight points out, rushing into things without proper analysis is a foolish thing. However, there's one thing I can't overlook. Even if Blast did not want to carelessly jump into a fight, the fact that he was able to reroute Garou's cosmic rays away from the heroes on the ground -- but had not done so originally... that is borderline unforgiveable.

Damn, if you could always do that, you should have done it earlier!

Let me be extremely clear. I don't hold Blast wholly responsible for restoring Empty Void. Yes, his rerouting the now free-floating 'God' powers as well as the cosmic rays to another dimension accidentally fed Void. That was careless, but not incomprehensible: thinking that one's evil ex-partner whom you left more dead than alive 15 years ago might be camping his nasty half-starved body on the other side of the dimensional hole you opened up in order to receive God's powers is not at the top of anyone's mind. What I am holding him responsible for is failing in the first duty of a hero: HELP PEOPLE!!

Now, let's go back to the original timeline. Even before he stepped up to support Bang, he could have rerouted those cosmic rays and saved most of the heroes. But he did not. I don't think he thought of it. Not a good hero instinct. But it gets worse.

Once it was clear that Garou had no intention of leaving the planet or ceasing to kill with his very presence, Genos stepped up, risking his life to buy Blast an opening.

Being a hero to the core. When people are in need, he is there.

However, when he was in danger and it was clear that Garou was fixing to kill him, did Blast step up? No. He just stood there, opened his mouth and bleated 'No.' [1]

And it gets worse still. It's not like Garou ripped Genos's head off to kill him instantly. Garou punched Genos through his center of mass. That was really bad: his upper torso is heavily protected for a reason, but that is not what killed him. We find out afterwards that Genos remembers seeing Garou pull his core out. Even that did not kill him: we've seen from back with the Giant Meteor that while losing his core's functionality will stop him being able to move his body, Genos's life support systems run independently of it. No, what killed him was Garou smashing him down so hard that his head and armor shattered and his blood splattered and ran into the ground, some of it being washed into long runnels by the fallout rain. So Blast stood there and watched while Garou not only struck Genos critically, but mutilated and maimed him to death. It was as if Garou was taunting him to try something heroic. And when Saitama finally arrived on the scene, Blast was just standing there. Uselessly.

Blast does not have the instincts of a hero.

Saitama rightly criticised himself for losing sight of what a hero's true duty was. I remember back when Sonic asked him who he was, he defined himself as the person who helps people when they are in trouble. [2] And he knows he fell short.

Blast appears to have totally lost sight of this fact. That's why his work is cursed.

A Hero Is More Than Mere Works

Without any doubt, Blast is strong. He is righteous but he's not looking at situations the way a hero should. He looks at things more as a warrior -- and it's not really helpful. He's forgotten the need to actually *be* a hero.

If I think about it a bit more, Blast was concerned for the health of the heroes on the field. Yet he did not protect them, even though he could have. He did not move them out of the way, even though he could have. He did not call on the rest of his compatriots to help him accomplish these goals, even though he could have and they would have helped.

I don't think that Blast is in danger of being deposed as the number 1 hero any time soon but man, it's as Flashy Flash says, his conduct is disappointing.

It's an insult to the heroes we've seen. I can't begin to imagine how bitterly Tatsumaki would be if she could have seen him. As the narrator said, she puts him on too high a pedestal. When I think of how hard she fought while never forgetting the helpless child, the civilians at risk, the rest of the strike team, and taking care of them even as it reduced her fighting efficiency, it's everything Blast ought to be. We saw so many heroes risk their lives to help others, even when they weren't of any strategic value.

Tatsumaki's determination to throw nobody under the bus, no matter how expedient, is the soul of heroism.

A hero is not merely their works. A hero is also what they symbolise. Amai Mask gets it: that's why he goes on and on about a hero being a beautiful symbol of peace. Saitama gets it: that's a big part of why he refused to out King because he symbolised being a hero so well. Mumen Rider lives it: even though he's not strong (by hero standards), he's greatly respected and people are inspired by him to do better in their lives.

What a hero is: someone who saves from danger, someone who reassures, someone who inspires.

Blast doesn't get it. When he had an opportunity to mitigate Garou's cosmic radiation and save lives, it did not occur to him. When he could have swallowed his pride and called back up to help him subdue Garou and save hero lives, it did not even cross his mind: he only saw a fight.

Since when was justice a matter of who can hit who harder?

And when he didn't prevail, he just stood there. When it was time for him to step up as a hero and actually take on some risk to try saving a life, he stood there, as hapless as any civilian. Even when it was hopeless, we didn't see the likes of Tank Top Master giving up. We didn't see Genos giving up on Tatsumaki, even when they were swarmed by Black Sperm. You don't give up on people.

No wonder his works are cursed.

How might the curse be lifted?

Some thoughts.

Never mind Tatsumaki: it's a rare hero who wouldn't be appalled. They all look up to Blast as the ultimate hero.

Fortunately, the only person who knows is Genos: it takes knowing how else things would have played out if Saitama hadn't arrived in the nick of time. Genos has no interest in trying to run down Blast: what little credibility he's got, he's used to tell Sicchi to ensure that Saitama got called up if Blast came up with anything.

Unfortunately, Sicchi hasn't passed on that message to Blast and Saitama's been allowed to go dawdling away. Even more unfortunately, what Sicchi has told Blast about Genos is that he's a terror who impedes access to Saitama. This may have terrible consequences down the line.

Talk about leaving out the important part. That 'is that so?' gives me chills.

You know how some readers are disappointed that the MA arc did not end with Saitama lecturing Garou about the importance of not compromising one's goals? It seems to me that Blast needs that lecture a lot more badly than Garou ever needed it in any version. He's forgotten that the point of heroism is the people you help *first* before it is about glorious fights. Important as it is to fight, losing sight of the human need in front of you is a hiding to nothing.

Or, if you want to put it differently: Saitama is likely to have a reason to confront Blast in the future.

Someone needs to hear this message and it's not the truculent teenage tearaways.

I am going to be there for it with a giant tub of ice cream!

Asides

[1] What was it that Awakened Garou said back in the WC: 'When facing an imminent threat against a monster, all you do is open your mouth and start babbling. It's an easy kind of job.'? (ch 85). It has applied very brutally to Blast here.

[2] In case you need a reminder:

That's the right thing to be. Saitama's been struggling since he forgot the brief a bit.

[gay-dorito-dust]

Reptile/Syzith hc with a gender neutral partner who can respawn after death and he's not aware when it hoppemd? Like it's not something they told him be sure they didn't anticipate to die but one day they die in an accident. They stay dead for a bit but eventually 'load' back in and respawn completely unharmed as if nothing happened like it's a video game.

Gifted with an ability to seemingly never stay dead might’ve been a power many would make a wish for, but you would always say it was because they were looking at it from a surface level, seeing it as something for what they wanted it to be rather then acknowledging it for what it actually was; a curse. They’d never be able to comprehend the catastrophic consequences that comes with the ability, nor would ever understand how much it takes away from you until it was far too late.

Not to mention the toll it takes on your mental psyche.

To you, it wasn’t necessarily something you’d boldly put out there in the open nor admit to having pride in, for upon every time you’ve come back from the dead, it had left you feeling less and less human in every sense of the word.

You did feel some guilt when you actively decided to not tell Syzoth about your powers, seeing as you weren’t put in a situation where you could demonstrate actual proof of your ability. Yet due to this lack of foresight and preparation, it made the accident all the more heartbreaking for your reptiloid lover, who felt as though his last chance to being happy was ripped away from him in a violent manor; that of which left him feeling a sense of desperation to save you anyway he could.

Syzoth felt as though he was the one who died the night of the attack, he wasn’t that far away from the scene when it happened, but then why did Syzoth felt as though he were miles away as he watched with vengeful eyes and his heart in his throat. He tired to close the distance between him, you and your supposed killer but as he managed to make it to your side, the kill had cowardly ran off into the shadows; leaving a poor weeping Syzoth to pathetically scoop you up into his arms, cringing at how cold you were within his arms that felt all forms or wrong to him.

He didn’t want to believe it, not one bit. Someone or something out there didn’t want him to be happy and wanted to see how far they could break him. So to test that theory, they just had to take you from him didn’t they? Syzoth wished he had died instead and would probably ask for someone, anyone to kill him so that he may be with you in whatever afterlife you were currently residing in, waiting for him.

However those who were made aware of your abilities from firsthand experience should try and hold Syzoth from doing something rash before you returned. They’d look out for Syzoth on your behalf, much to his distain, but none of them were willing to risk the reaction you’d have should one of them ever have to tell you that Syzoth died to join you in the afterlife. After all it was only a matter of time before you’d respawned and it was up to them to keep Syzoth moving until then.

Unfortunately for them and Syzoth, it would be a long while before you finally managed to respawn again, meaning that you were genuinely dead for a bit and at first you thought that your powers had been taken from you, but it wasn’t long before you found out that was completely and utterly not the case as you found yourself with a face full of life and no visible wounds that you could see. So naturally you went to find Syzoth and tell him the truth.

Now imagine Syzoth’s surprise when he caught sight of you, alive and unharmed. The poor guy thought he was seeing your ghost or believed that his mind was messing with him into believing his most deepest of delusions. So right off the bat he was both startled and skeptical at the sight of you, thinking it was some darker forces at work who wanted to use your death as a way to manipulate him. His hurt was still fresh and Syzoth would very much like to not be reminded of his losses, especially during the times where he is most vulnerable and susceptible for manipulation.

Syzoth: who are you and why do you wear my lovers face?! Are you the one who took their life?!

You: woah Syzoth! Allow me to explain-

Syzoth: there is nothing that is needed to be explained! Reveal your true self before things gets messy! For I will avenge my lovers death.

You: I will not fight you Syzoth!

Syzoth: that’s too bad because I’ve been needing an excuse to start one.

You: you liked being cuddled up against me at night because you say I make the nightmares go away, that I make everything okay by putting you back together again piece by piece. You’d like to tell me that I’m your better half but i would always counter and say that you’re my better half.

Syzoth: …y/n?

You: You’ve always have been my better half Syzoth because ever since we’ve been dating I’ve been hiding apart of myself from you that I am ashamed of.

Syzoth: and whatever could you ashamed of, my love?

You: my power, my power is what I am ashamed of my beloved, for I can’t stay dead not matter what for I always seem to wake up with no dire wounds to speak of. Which is why you can see me as clearly as you do now.

Syzoth: you’re actually alive?

You: yeah. I’m sorry for lying to you my sweet.

Syzoth: you need not apologise my love, to know that you are still will me is all I ever wished for nowadays.

That night and every other night after Syzoth clings to you just that little bit tighter and stays by your side, refusing to ever part from you for long periods of time.

[parachutingkitten]

Jay = High Intelligence, Low Wisdom

Kai = Low Intelligence, High Wisdom

Essay about this concept below the cut

Now these are all just my interpretations of the characters, I don't necessarily have hard evidence on hand to back all this up, but here we go:

I've been trying to put my finger on the Kai smart/dumb duality, and I think I can finally somewhat make out my thoughts. Kai is not smart. Book smarts don't come easily to him, he's not great at math, he's not great at overly complex stratagizing- but he's got a LOT of great knowledge in him.

Take the dragon healing in DR. He might not intuitively know how different medicines work or why, but he's got injured enough that he knows that type of information is important to know, and so he's forced it into his head. He couldn't tell you why the blue goop helpped the dragon, but he knew that it would, and that it would be important to remember that it would.

He's pretty good at navigating complex social situations, because he's good at reading people. Having had a history with extreme emotions, he knows how to take them into account, and knows how important it is to do so, even if it's not necessarily logical. I hate to say this, but he's very emotionally intelligent, which sounds kinda like an insult but is actually insanely valuable, because humans are inherently emotional creatures.

He's got a solid basis of common sense, and is constantly looking at the bigger picture. That's why he can come up with the best outline for a plan, because he can not think through the details. Now, if he tries to implement a plan of his without consulting others, he's probably going to miss some very important details, and screw himself over. But, he's most likely to have the best basic premise for an effective plan. This is why his intuition is usually correct. He's not logically thinking through the most likely scenario given all available factors, he's looking at every problem from the birds eye view, and is easily able to fill in the blanks, because he sees the whole picture. You can not tell me this kid knew Lloyd was the Green Ninja because he used logical deduction to eliminate all other possibilities, he had a gut feeling based on realizing the value of human life.

Now, sometimes you need details. And Kai is not good at those. He sucks at those. Big time. But he's self aware enough to know when those times are (most of the time, sometimes he wastes all his lives in a video game before talking to anyone else).

The thing all of these points have in common is that he's lived a very full life while making very many mistakes, and he's learned from all of them. He learns from his dumb mistakes, and is wise enough to know which lessons are worth holding on to.

Jay on the other hand... does not learn from his mistakes. He's got a real thick skull.

Inside that skull is a really smart guy who intuitively latches on to engineering and science concepts. He's got a whole heck of a lot of information that his brain is holding onto simply because it can. This man is all about the details. He gets hyperfixated on details to the point where it's a problem. He's the most likely to solve the intricate problem facing the team, forget that they need to stay hidden, and yell "I did it!". Good at details, bad at big picture. This is also why he usually gives up hope so easily compared to the rest of the team. He can not think long term, he can not see the bigger picture like Kai can, so road blocks in the current plan seem insurmountable.

Sure, he might have rigged an old sailing ship with rocket boosters, but he couldn't unscramble "darnagom" his logical problem solving skills are not what's carrying him.

My standby for the Jay dumb/smart duality is that he should have a significant amount of William Osman energy to him. He's very smart, and can work out how to solve intricate problems and make insane builds, but if making said things is a dangerous or dumb idea has never once crossed his mind, and if it has, he has actively chosen to ignore it. Jay's intelligence is much more creativity based than I think a lot of people like to think. Engineering is about slapping crazy ideas together which barely hold together at first- and that's Jay's brand of smarts.

If you compare this to Zane, that's the vital component that his intelligence is missing- the creativity. He is VERY good at assessing options, but not so great at coming up with new solutions himself. He's running on pure logic and tested successes. He's also missing that social intelligence that Kai has. I'd venture to say that Zane is, by far the most gullible member of the team. If there is not a solid logical reason to doubt something, he is absolutely going to take it at face value. Point being, all the ninja have different smarts, and stupidities, let's not try to conflate them too much.

[animeyanderelover]

I am back once again in my Twilight mood and thought that I would write some poly!relationship with my 2 favorite vampires from the Cullens.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, manipulation, gaslighting, threats, stalking, overprotective behavior, isolation, death

Sharing a darling

Alice has definitely caught glimpses of you already in her vision. She knows that Jasper and her have another soulmate somewhere in the world but it is only when your parents decide to move to Forks that she is able to see the bigger picture of everything. She is certainly surprised to find out that that she and Jasper have another soulmate but she doesn't ponder too much about it. Instead she just feels very happy to know that you exist. Edward probably finds out before Jasper but only because he read Alice's mind. He also gives her an astonished look but soon cracks out a small smile as he knows that Alice feels happy about it. She tells Jasper as soon as she has had her vision and it is Jasper who is a tad bit more hesitant to fully grasp the situation. He has been with Alice for such a long time and he loves her so much so he has a hard time fathoming how he could possibly love someone the same way he adores her. He senses her happiness though about the situation so he silently accepts the future.

There is time to prepare for your arrival and it is time that passes by far too slowly for Alice. She's definitely giddy whilst thinking about your arrival and her joyous mood eventually also gets through Jasper who starts looking forward to seeing you, even if he is still a tad bit cautious about all of this. Alice loves telling him what she has seen in her vision and even draws you so that Jasper can see just how cute you are. Alice makes sure that Jasper and her dress up especially well as soon as she knows when exactly you will arrive and where exactly both of them will meet you. She's so eager as she drags Jasper with her on that day and whilst Jasper isn't exactly feeling as optimistic as she is, he doesn't have the heart to deny her what she wants. Both of them don't have to look long for you as their enhanced senses aid them in spotting you quickly and in that moment they really feel like you have been missing all along.

If Alice would still have a heart, it would pound so wildly against her chest right now as she just looks at you and takes in your every curve and feature. She's already mentally gushing over you and can't wait to do everything with you she has already been planning in the months before you moved to Forks. Jasper's doubts completely fade away as soon as he spots you too as he instantly feels the connection. His eyes also observe you with a warm glint in your eyes but differently from Alice, he is also being much more strategic and especially more overprotective. Suddenly he becomes even more aware of his surroundings and if anyone is looking funnily at you as his mind instantly switches to a protective mode, especially since you are a human. Alice notices his more rigid and alerted gaze and nudges him playfully. He can worry later. Both of them should now meet their soulmate.

Jasper takes the backseat for quite a while as he just lets Alice do the job. Not only because he knows that Alice is far more easily approachable than he is since he has a colder appearance but also because he is worried that he might be tempted by your blood. You have a very sweet smell around you and he has still very vividly in mind what happened when Bella cut herself on paper during her birthday. He could never imagine hurting you, his soulmate, yet he knows that it might be more realistic than he might want to admit. It almost feels like he is a thrid wheel for a while and even if Alice tries to include him more since she just knows that he's silently suffering from not being as involved and as close with you as she is already, she respects his wishes. Your joyful appearance in their lives actually motivates him to work harder on his self-control since he would never be able to forgive himself if he would hurt you due to his own lack of self-control.

Alice is a refreshing breeze that just enters your life as she approaches you with confidence and from that day on is always involved. You might be a bit startled by her bold approach but she is surprisingly good in sensing how far she can go from now. She takes the pleasure of being your guide you can run to in search for help since you are new here. Her goal is to be the first person you are really close to because she knows that if she is someone you already know better than others, you will gravitate more to her and rather search for her than ask new people for help. Especially if you are on a more introverted side. In either case, Alice seemingly adjusts flawlessly to your own vibe which allows you to feel more comfortable when around her. Jasper due to his more quiet nature initially spooks you out a bit but she reassures you that her lover is deep down just a big softie. You'll see that soon enough.

If Alice is the one who is visibly present in your life and always makes sure to tell you about the newest fashion, rumors and stories in this small town, Jasper is the one who is always watching over you behind the scenes. He is definitely too protective over you for his own good and that is made all the more worse since you are still only a human. He's the one who is always a few steps behind Alice and you when she excitedly shows you a great shop for clothes or a nice place to consume some beverages and some cakes, even if she sadly can't share the joy of eating and drinking as you do which is why she tries to avoid dragging you to such places. His eyes always seem to scam your surroundings and the people passing by as if he is always prepared to hear something or see something that will indicate that your life is in danger. He is the one who at times even stalks you just to quench that overprotective duty that he feels now that you are part of Alice's and his life.

Edward and Alice, and by extension also the rest of the Cullens, is aware of the tiny bit more illegal activities that Jasper is doing and they definitely have a small talk with him about it. Edward probably can't lecture him too greatly about it as Jasper is quick to remind his adoptive brother of the way he behaved around Bella when she was still a human. He's definitely getting more defensive and even mildly aggressive if someone wants to have a discussion with him about his stalkerish and overprotective tendencies. A tiny part of him might be able to rationalise why they tell him that he is overdoing it but the major part of him just can't think of what he is doing as wrong. He only has your good intentions in mind after all so he is definitely the type of delusional man who will justify some of his more questionable behavior with his feelings and your safety in mind. Alice is the only one who can talk to him without him instantly getting defensive and for her sake he does try to tone his behavior down a bit. Next to his struggles to control himself around human blood though, he seems to have unlocked a new urge he can't quite control.

Jasper only really allows himself to interact more with you when he has more confidence in his skills to control his lust for blood and only then will you finally get to know him so much better. He has always held himself back before out of fear that the scent of your blood might tempt him and you have always interpreted that as him not liking you. Now he proves you wrong though and actually turns out to be much more mellow than his exterior might let on. You are surprised to actually find out just how sensible he seems to be as he always seems to guess your current mood accurately. Whilst Alice seems to be more outgoing and bubbly, Jasper is more introverted and shockingly soft and mellow around you. He always seems so careful around you and sometimes you feel like he is talking to you like one would talk to a baby deer in order to not scare it away. At the same time you also realise that he doesn't seem to be comfortable around other people. He always appears to be slightly more tense and you always notice the protective step he seems to take as soon as someone he doesn't know approaches you.

Honestly though, the combination of their abilities is kind of scary. You essentially have someone who is able to feel and influence your emotions in Jasper and someone who can see the different outcomes of your future in Alice and whilst both of these abilities would be already quite scary by themselves, combined this makes for an even more dangerous mix. You aren't able to hide stuff from both of them because whilst their enhanced senses would probably already allow them to notice that something is wrong, Jasper can additionally sense it in your feelings. Honestly, Jasper can be a bit overbearing due to this strong need he feels to keep you safe and to protect you so as soon as he senses that you are scared, he automatically enters this overprotective mode where he is ready to scare anyone and everything away that frightens you. Additionally he just feels better if he knows where you are and with whom you are at the moment if neither Alice nor him are with you and not knowing your current location always has him worried.

Alice with her ability to see different scenarios of the future also are in the longer run very scary and useful. Whilst it of course allows both of them to prepare and keep you away from potential danger, it also completely enables her to watch over decisions you make and which impact they might have on your future. If she ever has a vision that would show her that you would have to leave Jasper and her, whether this decision was made by yourself or is the result of someone else, she and Jasper always come up with plans to cancel your departure from them. Neither one of them can just allow you to leave them like this, not now when you have become an official part of their lives and hearts. So whilst Alice always has a watch over your future, Jasper can influence your presence directly by controlling your emotions a bit. Neither one of those would ever dare to take it as far as inducing you with false feelings for both of them but at times Jasper just influences your feelings enough to not have you take any rash decisions.

Alice and Jasper have to compromise on how they spend their time with you. Whilst Alice enjoys going shopping with you and dressing you up all cutely, Jasper just prefers to just have the three of you doing something by yourselves. He always feels uncomfortable and pressured when he is around people he doesn't consider his loved ones and that has become a tad bit worse since you have come around. He wants to show you his love and that isn't as possible when he is constantly alerted due to everyone around you. He is already at times a bit more protective around Alice but that is much worse with you who is only a human. He's much more loving and at ease when it is just the three of you. Alice often plans everything though and Jasper lets her. She is creative with her plans and always comes up with something that will be fun and exciting but that doesn't mean that she doesn't consider Jasper's more simple desires to just hang out with only the three of you.

Both of them start planning relatively early on how to tell you about what they truly are. In fact both of them have been considering this as soon as they knew that you exist. Whilst Alice could have done fine without instantly going over how to tell you that they are vampires as carefully as possible, it was probably Jasper who wanted to start thinking about it at such an early stage already. Of course both of them were only able to really start properly planning as soon as both of you started knowing you better. Jasper has always seen him as the biggest risk to spoil the secret so he has been up until now tried his hardest to not slip up with anything. The closer you get to both of them and also by extension the rest of the Cullens, the bigger the chances are that you start finding out. Edward tells both of them after a visit where he also met you that you are already suspicious. Their eye colour, their cold skin and the fact that you have never seen them eating or drinking anything has already roused your suspicion.

Both of them already suspected as much as Edward tells them but hearing it just confirms their suspicions. Both of them know that they should tell you their secret now sooner than later. Alice tries to be more optimistic about everything whilst Jasper is more worried because he fears that you might see Alice and him as monsters after finding out that both of them are vampires. This is probably one of the prime examples of how Jasper uses his abilities though. He makes sure that he influences your emotions and calms you down when the time comes where Alice and him inform you about their true identities so that you don't freak out and allow Alice to calmly explain everything to you. This might be the moment though you silently realise that you probably have little chances to escape as soon as you finally know the truth but weirdly enough don't feel scared or freaked out. Well, thank Jasper for inducing you with such calm and serene feelings to keep you from feeling scared.

[coldresolve]

Hi, I'm Elias, I'm a 26yo trans guy from Denmark. I write shit, I draw shit, and I get into unneccesarily tedious arguments with anons about torture apologia in fiction. I think that sums up my vibe

I've made a few posts about this already, but tl;dr: the Danish NHS has been refusing to treat me for gender dysphoria for the better part of a year now because they've deemed me "unstable." Unstable how, you ask?

I have depression.

No, that is quite literally it. Full context under the readmore.

Fighting to be heard and having the door repeatedly slammed in your face sucks peak ass, and I'm done now. The NHS is so lackluster when it comes to trans people, all of a sudden, it makes perfect sense to me why 31% of transgender Danes get HRT outside of the NHS.

And I'd rather not have to turn to the black market, so rn I'm hoping to get a prescription with GenderGP. The issue is, I'm poor as fuck and can't afford the start-up fees for the forseeable future - unless I do something like this. I hate asking others for money, and I hate it even more if I'm not in a place where I can give anything in return. But I also recognize I'm in over my head with this, so. If you've got a cent or two to spare, I'd be grateful as hell.

I've mathed it out, and my best estimate is that I need around 3500,- DKK / $500 USD. Again, this is just to cover the initial subscription as well as mandatory consultations/blood tests. I should be able to cover the prescriptions on my own, as well as further tests/consultations down the line, so I'm hoping this is a one-and-done sort of thing.

paypal: elimunpau@gmail.com

Also, important note. We're in a global cost of living/housing crisis and this isn't a strict life-or-death situation. If you're in a tough spot right now, don't send me anything, that'd just make me feel worse about asking. I appreciate the thought but you gotta take care of your own needs first. Peace and take care ✌️

So I've been dealing with major depressive disorder since I was 11. It runs in my family, and as you might imagine, after 15 years of living with this thing, I've learned how to manage it pretty well by now. I know what it's like to genuinely be unstable - and if I were in a place like that, no problem, I'd be open about that. I wouldn't be making decisions like this. I know myself. You kind of have to when you're dealing with a chronic mental illness.

Here's where I am right now: I've got no suicidal ideation, been clean from self harm for four years, no psychosis, no inpatient admissions for the last five years. I live on my own, take my meds, and I'm keeping my life in order. Depressed, yes, but about as stable as someone with my history can get, and ask anyone who knows me, me wanting to get on HRT isn't some spur of the moment decision. I've done a fucking decade of soul searching, and a few years ago, I finally (duh) reached the conclusion that living as a woman isn't something I can even fake being content with - believe me, I've tried. I'm well aware of the scope of medical transition, but I'm settled in who I am. And I just want to live like me now. That's the only thing I want.

If it counts for anything, my partner and family have supported me through this, which has been priceless obviously, but it also goes to show that me saying "I'm capable of making medical decisions" isn't purely a personal assessment. I'm pretty sure they'd speak up if they thought I was being unstable about it or whatever

But the CPH clinic for sexology, who have consistently refused to listen to me telling them all this, have somehow magically aquired divine knowledge on my capacity to make adult decisions about my own body, and on the basis that I have MDD, they're refusing to even set me up for a preliminary interview - one that would preceed a 6 month full-team psych evaluation before the prospect of HRT would even come up. They said in their latest refusal that they wont accept another referral from me until a year after my last in-clinic conversation with them, which happened on October 24th, 2023 - meaning that with the NHS, if they accepted my referral come October (which I don't have much faith they will), the earliest I could possibly get on HRT is April 2025. Arguing for my own sanity would've sucked enough as is, but it's made harder by the fact that they won't even talk to me. You're a trans guy who would like healthcare, but you have a mental illness? Good luck, you're on your own. Long live the Danish bureaucracy.

Dysphoria makes me fucking miserable. I'd rather not have to write a sob story here, and tumblr is like 80% trans people so I guess a good portion of you can imagine why waiting another year for the possibility of maybe-perhaps-if-all-goes-well getting on HRT would not actually make me less miserable about it.

So. I'm sitting down next week along with my mom to file a formal complaint with the patient's rights committee. I don't know what to call this other than some form of discrimination on the basis of mental illness, because nothing in my current situation would prohibit me from making medical decisions for myself. And I honestly don't think that a complaint is going to do much, but I intend to make it obnoxiously long, because by law, a specialized doctor and an attorney have to read through the whole thing. If you can't beat 'em, make 'em read 50 pages of you going into detail about why you think they suck, right

And yeah, like I said, in the meantime, I'm trying to go via GenderGP. It'd be nice if my poor ass could get HRT via the NHS instead of having to pay out of pocket, but apparently the bar for entry requires that you 1) have gender dysphoria to the point where it impedes normal function and 2) somehow aren't mentally ill. Who wrote these rules? Some 60yo cis guy in a suit in Christiansborg, I imagine.

Feel free ask about anything relating to this whole situation, I'll be as open as I can about it, cause I understand that if you're going to give money to someone, you want to know what it's going to. Though I hope you understand I'm not going to doxx myself more than I already have now, or give you my entire medical history - only what's relevant to my current situation.

I know Denmark is a welfare state and on a global scale we're doing alright, but I hope you don't mind if I say this: This shouldn't be happening as often as it does. Fuck the Danish NHS.

[cocogum]

Eliatrope Goddess immediately gives off shady vibes and here’s why:

Eliatrope told Yugo, Adamaï, and Nora that there would be plenty of time for these three to talk together but that there are bigger things to address right now. So Adamaï asks her if she was the one responsible for the Inglorium’s destruction and this chick straight up tells him that this topic will have to be discussed later while then adding that he should trust her since she hates violence.

‼️ SHADY ASS BEHAVIOR ‼️

Even though the leaders of the World of Twelve were a bit harsh towards a freaking GODDESS (these ppl are saying this is the first time they’re in the presence of a deity and yet they had some balls of steel talking to her like that), Eliatrope did not see any issue with telling them that she’d be surveilling the world and infusing vigilantism.

That almost sounds like she doesn’t really understand what freedom truly is. Keeping people under a good watch to preserve peace is not freedom but rather just plain control.

‼️ SHADY ASS BEHAVIOR ‼️

Now that I’m mentioning controlling, didn’t the Eliatrope goddess already do that before? She had one entire planet for her children and just kept watch over them which is why they were able to live in perfect peace and harmony (while the minor problems were solved by Mina. And by “minor” I mean minor problems that aren’t severe ones like poverty, pollution, etc.). The eliatropes didn’t see anything wrong with what she was doing because that’s all they’ve ever known. The eliatropes were practically doing the same thing every day over and over again without being aware of it all. This incessant repeat is also supported by Qilby saying that everything was always the same cycle back in his home planet and he was just witnessing the same history repeating itself.

‼️ SHADY ASS BEHAVIOR ‼️

She was perfectly fine letting Adamaï go because she claimed that his mistrust towards this entire situation was perfectly normal for him since he’s someone who mistrusts things in general.

But like-

Adamaï is still her kid, and yet, she just lets him go just like that after being away from him for all these millennials.

But then again, he was the same person who pointed out the question: “Are you the one responsible for the destruction of the Inglorium?” And she wasn’t able to answer him properly. When someone asks you uncomfortable questions that you know the answer to, you usually try to make them leave, no?

‼️ SHADY ASS BEHAVIOR ‼️

For someone who’s nicknamed “the goddess of love”, she brought Qilby back and even told Yugo that she’s fine with keeping the traitor around since he at least goes on missions to help IF IT BENEFITS HIM IN SOME WAY.

What kind of “goddess of love” is fine with letting a child of hers continue this bad habit of helping others to benefit them???

‼️ SHADY ASS BEHAVIOR ‼️

Where is Balthazar? No seriously where is he??? If the Eliatrope goddess has the children of Emrub with her, then surely Balthazar has to be around in the area somewhere or maybe with the goddess surveilling the children but he isn’t.

‼️ SHADY ASS BEHAVIOR ‼️

She doesn’t know what the hell the Lokus is supposed to be or what it was even “guarding” her temple for but she did not tell anyone about this??? About the fact that she didn’t know? Did she tell Nora or Qilby?? Or even the other eliatropes???

Also, she apparently knows that its heart can help fend off the necromes and yet hasn’t told this to Nora and the others. Maybe she forgot to tell them but like- HOW DO YOU FORGET when you’ve been into contact with them??

‼️ SHADY ASS BEHAVIOR ‼️

When she wanted to leave the world with her children at the very moment she heard that the necromes were coming, she did not even once mention bringing Chibi and Grougaloragran with her despite being able to sense their wakfus.

‼️ SHADY ASS BEHAVIOR ‼️

She tried to cut off Yugo’s friends from him so she could leave with him and the other elite eliatropes. So when Yugo tells her he wants to stay and the other eliatropes side with him, she just leaves.

She left. SHE JUST LEFT THE WORLD AND LEFT HER KIDS BEHIND-

‼️ SHADY ASS BEHAVIOR ‼️

[lu-is-not-ok]

Let’s talk about K Corp Hong Lu

Look. He got me. He got me bad. I can’t explain just how badly he got me. There is so much I want to dissect about him. So you know what?

This is going to be my first Identity Analysis. Fuck it we ball.

Before I get into it though, let me make myself clear: unlike E.G.O Analysis, I will not be taking Identity Analysis requests. This is because Identities inherently come with A Lot more content to analyse, and it’s not really something I’m willing to sit down and do at the whim of anyone and everyone. E.G.O Analyses already take me a while to do. I hope you guys can understand that.

With that out of the way, let’s get into it. Cue Game Theory intro or some shit.

Let’s start with the obvious, K Corp Hong Lu’s uptie story and his dialogue lines.

While his uptie story serves mostly to introduce more lore about Class 3 Excision Staff, it does provide some additional context to Hong Lu’s situation in this specific Mirror World.

To summarize, Class 3 Excision Staff are effectively K Corp branded super soldiers, whose main trait is nigh invulnerability due to extremely heavy dosage of K Corp ampules. However, this comes at a rather ironic cost - this same dosage could instantly kill them if something within their bodies changes just enough to make them no longer compatible, rendering them extremely fragile to even something as mundane as dreaming. As such, they have to be kept in complete stasis when not deployed, to ensure their state is constantly stable and so that they don’t accidentally get fucking gooped from thinking the wrong way.

Effectively, they are forced to not exist outside of their purpose, as trying to could lead to their death. They have no freedom by nature of what they are.

Besides that lore dump, we also learn some interesting things about Hong Lu in that Mirror World.

For one, it’s his family who got him into this job. Specifically, his grandmother directed him here, stating she wanted Hong Lu to see more of the City and experience new things. A rather... odd motivation for putting your grandson in a position that stays stuck in a tube in suspended animation 90% of the time.

This is something the scientist in charge of waking Hong Lu up doubts it as well, wondering if Excision staff truly is the right position if that’s what she actually wanted for Hong Lu. Hong Lu, for what it’s worth, doesn’t seem to actually care about her motivations, claiming he’s fine with his situation as long as he gets to have new experiences. Put a pin in that, I’ll try to remember to go back to this.

Another thing we learn is that Hong Lu seems to react oddly to being put into complete stasis. It’s noted that he doesn’t seem to suffer from any side-effects upon waking up from suspended animation, and that him being able to immediately talk up researchers for attention is in no way expected behavior. However the process is meant to work, it’s implied to not be as simple as pressing the pause and resume button on a person.

Likewise, it’s noted as odd that he seems refreshed upon being woken up, implying that, again, this is not how it’s supposed to work, as Class 3 Staff doesn’t seem to be able to “rest” in the traditional sense of the word.

In fact, there’s something weird about him that I myself noticed that doesn’t seem to be directly pointed out. Hong Lu notes that he feels extremely bored when not deployed, saying that relieving that boredom is his reason for constantly chatting up researchers whenever he’s woken.

The thing is... by all means, Hong Lu shouldn’t be feeling bored. Being put into suspended animation is outright stated to put one’s consciousness into stasis as well, as subconscious thoughts are one of the things that could destabilize one’s ampule compatibility. Hong Lu, by all means, should not be cognizant enough of his surroundings and time spent in stasis to be able to be aware of how unoccupied he is during that time.

While it could very well be just a figurative figure of speech he uses to carry his point across (as Hong Lu isn’t exactly the most honest person in any Mirror World), the fact that there is Something Clearly Off about how he experiences stasis means there very much could be something more to it.

There is a chance that odd trait of his could be connected to the SP restoration abilities of his alternate versions. While K Corp Hong Lu is the second Hong Lu to not have any mechanics tied to restoring SP (Kurokumo Hong Lu being the first), it’s not impossible that for him specifically, they translate into something not applicable to combat.

Could it be that whatever is able to keep most other Hong Lus’ Sanity up is what’s causing him to potentially stay semi-cognizant in stasis? It might be a stretch, but I feel like the fact that it’s something that’s partially pointed out to us means there’s something more to it.

It would certainly explain a lot of his oddities. Why he’s able to so quickly bounce back upon being woken, why he seems to actually rest when in stasis, and why he seems to be aware enough of his time spent there to feel bored. For whatever reason, his consciousness seems resistant enough to not let itself be fully put into suspended animation.

Remember how I mentioned how Class 3 Staff has no freedom because of the nature of what they are. Well, I think this applies even more for Hong Lu in this specific case. Because of something inherent to him, he can’t be put into full stasis. Whereas other Class 3 Staff are able to stay blissfully unaware of their time spent stuck in their glass coffins, Hong Lu can’t. He perceives it, whether he wants it or not. In a way, he’s even less free than those who already have no freedom.

When it comes to K Corp Hong Lu’s dialogue lines, there’s something I want to note about their delivery. It seems to me that, in general, his dialogue lines carry notably less energy than the dialogue lines of his other Identities. There are a lot more lines where his voice is lowered, or in some way faltering, compared to other Hong Lus.

While most of the actual content of his dialogue lines is hinting at info we learn through the uptie story, there is some interesting things to note.

One - Hong Lu feels like it’s been a very long time since he began his job at K Corp. Hearing about daytime makes him reminisce about how he used to drink at that time of the day, and being asked why he joined K Corp he notes how it feels like it’s been ages ago, and even seems to be slightly unsure about it in fact being his grandmother who sent him there. ...Just how long has he been working there?

Two - Hong Lu’s desperation. It’s clear Hong Lu much prefers actually doing his job to sitting in a glass tube for days on end - he expresses excitement at the idea of being deployed more often, and takes joy in being able to breathe fresh air after a long while. He’s also notably down when he realizes Dante won’t talk to him anymore. However, the one line that stood out to me the most here is his Ex-Clear victory line, where he hesitantly pleads to have just A Little Bit of free time before he has to go back into stasis.

Now, time for the Fun Part. Time to look at the Sin affinities and try to dissect what the fuck they mean on IDs.

Before we talk about what Sin affinities K Corp Hong Lu has, let’s talk about one he doesn’t have - Lust. The Sin representing actions done to indulge desires or seek personal fulfillment.

I feel like this is extremely important, as every other Hong Lu ID has some Lust affinity in one way or another, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this specific one lacks it.

As a quick recap: Kurokumo Hong Lu has Lust as his Skill 1, Tingtang Hong Lu and Liu Hong Lu both have Lust as their Skill 2, and Base Hong Lu has Lust as his Skill 3.

To briefly summarize what I think this all means for each Hong Lu without getting into full Sin affinity analysis for all of them:

Kurokumo Hong Lu’s Lust represents how his actions seem at first glance. He’s acting according to his own desires and whims, not caring to follow other people’s orders if he doesn’t want to.

Tingtang Hong Lu’s Lust presents as a slightly deeper motivation. He seeks out a dopamine rush at every opportunity he has, diving head first into gambling and murder just to satisfy his desires.

Liu Hong Lu’s Lust is similarly a deeper motivation. He likewise seeks to indulge himself, though in his case it’s him fully leaning into the comforts his rich family enables him to enjoy, like the incredibly expensive tea he seems to be obsessed with.

Base Hong Lu’s Lust is what I’d like to call his Core Sin. At their very core, Hong Lu’s actions are driven by his need to have his desires be satisfied, whether it’s his curiosity, his wish for comfort, or his need for attention. That’s the main driving force behind who he is and what he does.

As one can see, Lust is Incredibly Important to who Hong Lu is as a person in every Mirror World. So, what does this mean for K Corp Hong Lu?

It’s bad. It’s Bad? It’s really not good.

Because this means that in his current situation, K Corp Hong Lu does not care to have his needs satisfied. In fact, I don’t think he’s even in a position to be able to care about that. He’s reduced to only truly existing as a tool, a weapon for K Corp to use, and when he has no purpose to fulfill he’s put into stasis that doesn’t even seem to fully work on him.

How would he even begin to try to fulfill his desires in such a state? He’s barely able to resolve his own by-now-probably-chronic boredom, to the point he actually enjoys his job. Hong Lu, whose Mirror Identities consistently mention either not liking to do what other people tell them to do or simply finding it more tiring to do something as a job than doing the same thing off-the-clock? You’re telling me That Hong Lu is actually enjoying his job?

Can you see why this Identity has been fucking with me so much?

But oh wait, we’re not done. Oh hell no we’re not done. We actually have to analyze the Actual affinities K Corp Hong Lu has, cause hoo boy they tell a story.

The Affinity of an ID’s Skill 1 usually represents what Sin that Identity’s actions present as upon first glance. In this case, K Corp Hong Lu’s actions present as Pride, as actions done purely for their benefit while the consequences are ignored.

This, I think, fits what we know about him pretty well. He finds delight in deployment regardless of the harm he has to inflict as part of his job, simply because it provides momentary relief to his boredom. Likewise, one could interpret the action of becoming part of the Excision Staff as prideful. Hong Lu remains in his position for the sake of “new experiences” (and because Granny said so), all the while ignoring the way he suffers because of it.

The Affinity of an ID’s Skill 2 usually reflects a Sin corresponding to an Identity’s deeper motivation behind their actions. For K Corp Hong Lu, this is Gluttony, representing the motivation of hunger, whether in the form of hunger for survival or hunger for more.

In this case, I think we can firmly place K Corp Hong Lu on the Survival part of the Gluttony duality. As I laid out way earlier, Hong Lu here has no choice but to do as K Corp tells him, as otherwise he will literally die. There’s also a way we can interpret it as part of his motivation for joining K Corp in the first place. If his grandmother wanted him to work here, did he really have a choice, or would the consequences of disobeying be far worse than what he has to put up with in here?

Then, there’s Skill 3. I interpret the Affinity of an ID’s Skill 3 as the main driving force of that Identity, their Core Sin, so to speak. For K Corp Hong Lu, this is Sloth, the Sin of apathy, resignation, and inaction.

This, I think, is where K Corp Hong Lu’s deal is truly revealed. He is fully resigned to his fate as a Class 3 Staff. It no longer matters to him to do anything but follow orders without question, because what else does he have left? Staying half-asleep in a glass tube for the rest of his life? Dying? No wonder he’s finding delight in deployment, he has literally nothing else. The only reason he’s not outwardly hopeless is, well, because he’s Hong Lu. And a Hong Lu will try to smile through everything, no matter how badly it hurts.

I also think it’s important to note that there is only one other Hong Lu ID right now that shares K Corp Hong Lu’s Skill 3 Affinity - Kurokumo Hong Lu. This might seem weird, considering Kurokumo Hong Lu’s whole thing is being staunchly against being ordered around... Except this quickly falls apart when you actually look at his actions. Yes, he complains and doesn’t respect his superiors, but. He still follows orders. He’s still good at following orders. As much as he hates doing it, he has no choice but to do it. And so, he’s also just as resigned to his fate at his core as K Corp Hong Lu is.

Now, with all of that being said, there’s one more thing I want to talk about here. What does this mean for Base Hong Lu. Our Hong Lu.

While Dante’s Notes very directly point out that Mirror World versions can be nigh unrecognisable in personality to their Base counterparts, I think it’s a mistake to fully dismiss them.

I think, in one way or another, the alternate Identities of Sinners are meant to tell us something about the Sinner in question, whether by implying something that they may be hiding, or by paralleling the Sinner’s situation in a more symbolic manner.

Remember that part I said to put a pin in? How K Corp Hong Lu doesn’t care for his grandmother’s motivations for making him take this job, since he’s getting something out of it?

That. That feels extremely important to me.

While you could definitely make the argument that in general K Corp Hong Lu’s whole situation could be a symbolic parallel to how his family treats him as nothing but an object that ceases to matter once its purpose is fulfilled (which I think still applies as well by the way), I think there is something more important here.

The idea that as long as Hong Lu is being cared for by his family, as long as he benefits in some way from having to bear the pain, he will not question their motivations and goals.

In a way, we already knew that. We already knew from Base Hong Lu’s dialogue that he still views his family positively despite the abuse he very likely went through at their hands. However, I think K Corp Hong Lu’s attitude here further confirms that idea. That as long as his family shows Some form of love towards him, he won’t question how horrible they have been to him.

Because if they love him, there’s no way they’re Actually being that bad towards him, right?

...

God Canto 8 is gonna hit way too fucking hard for me and not even deep-diving into Hong Lu can prepare me for it.