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elstattoo · 15 hours ago

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Closet Fun: Vi x Reader

☆*:.｡.

MEN DNI, MDNI

Summary: A heated game of seven minutes in heaven with Vi.

WC: 3K

Warnings: fingering(r receiving), praise, pet names

Author’s note☆: This is my first time writing for Vi and I went overboard with this idea… lmk what you think and next is pitfighter Vi because I need her internally😋

The smoke from people’s cigarettes and weed made the air thick and heavy. You pushed past the sweaty bodies of ongoing partygoers making your way further into the party. Music roared through the speakers making it impossible to hear yourself think.

Vi was hot on your trail, having no interest in anyone but you at the party. “Fuck I could go for a beer right now.” Vi thought to herself as she followed you like a lost puppy. Her eyes immediately snapped down to your legs and ass when she noticed the view.

A low groan escaped her parted lips as she watched the sway of your hips as you walked. She couldn’t recall you ever wearing something like that to a party, let alone such a short skirt.

The more she stared, the more she felt her boxers lightly dampen, she shook her head slightly trying to snap herself out of the daze. It was hard to shake off your effect on her, she never could even if she tried.

But for both your sakes, Violet kept quiet about her feelings for you. She pursued nothing but a friendship with you, too consumed with the fear of losing you, the one person she cares about the most in the world.

She continued following you into the kitchen, both your eyes scanning the assortment of drinks left to offer.

Violet’s eyes practically sparkled as she saw beer tucked away in a red cooler. “Beer here I come,” Vi muttered, speed-walking over to the counter and grabbing a cold beer out of the open cooler.

A smile spread on your face, “Of course, that’s the first thing you drink. I’m doing vodka and soda,” you shrugged, grabbing an empty clean cup. Easily you poured yourself your drink and took a sip, and the tang of vodka a little too much. The alcohol washed over you, making you feel a little less jittery than before.

Vi let out a little scoff as she watched you pour your drink. “Of course, you’d go for vodka. Me? I’ll stick with the beer.” Her body leaned forward against the counter as you fixed more soda into your drink to lessen the amount of vodka. Her eyes roamed your body quickly again, taking in the way the skirt looked so damn good on you.

You smiled hearing Vi’s little complaints, shaking your head at her. As you mixed your drink to your liking, you caught Vi leaning closely towards you on the counter, beer in hand. “I think I’m ready to see what Jinx, Ekko, and everyone else are up to,” you said. You felt yourself grow hotter the more you felt Vi’s burning gaze.

“Sounds good to me,” Vi agreed with a smile, taking one last swing of the beer before holding it tightly in her hand. “Lead the way, cupcake.”

Your heart swelled a little at the nickname, she always called you different names. Each one makes your heart skip a beat, time and time again. Quickly you made your way towards the living room, the first area you hoped you’d find either Jinx or Ekko. Neither were in sight, you hummed, wondering where either of them could be. Vi reached out and grasped your shoulder.

“I think they’re probably in the next room huddled together smoking or something,” Vi snorted.

You giggled, the sound made Vi freeze for a second as if you two were the only ones in the room. Your laugh was genuine, one that rang throughout the room, and made others smile. Your smile was just one of the many things that made Violet fall so hard for you, not that you knew how you made her heart swell.

“Let me just text her, that's easier,” you said, your free hand already stuffed into your pocket and pulling out your phone.

As best as you could with one hand, you typed out a message to Jinx. It was very difficult, but you managed, too stubborn to hand your drink off to Vi.

You: ‘Where are you?’

Vi turned her head, watching as you put your phone away. “I shot her a text now to await her response, hopefully, it’s fast,” you shrugged, sipping away at your drink.

Violet hummed, “I dunno, sweetheart. My sister is an avid texting but probably wouldn’t be at a party.”

The phone vibrating in your back pocket would say otherwise, and you connected eyes briefly with Vi. A smile made its way onto your face, and swiftly you brought your phone out and read the recent notification. It was from Jinx.

Jinx: ‘Upstairs with a smaller group, meet us losers :P’

“You would be wrong, Violet,” you sneered, “She just answered.”

Violet rolled her eyes dramatically at your teasing tone, “Yeah, yeah whatever, sweetheart. Where are we meeting them?

“Upstairs! Let’s goooo,” you whined, grabbing for her hand after stuffing your phone away. Your hand met Violet’s, her colder hands a stark contrast to your warm ones.

Vi followed you, hand gripping yours as you led the way upstairs. The music drifted with you, people crowded the top of the stairs and chatted away. The pair of you squeezed past more people before reaching a room filled with more people, couches placed about, and a gigantic TV hung mounted on the wall.

You both paused for a moment, taking in your surroundings to look for a sign of Ekko or Jinx. A flash of blue crossed your vision, which had Vi groaning as you tugged her forward.

“Jinx! Over here!” You yelled, trying to raise your voice louder than the booming music throughout the house. Jinx’s head snapped from her conversation with Ekko, towards you, hearing your calls. Ekko himself sees Vi’s pink tufts of hair behind you, and the two of you, hand and hand. Not a surprise at all.

“Hey, you two!” Jinx waves, a grin cheekily on her face. Ekko follows behind her waving at you and Vi. “There’s some people back there playing spin-the-bottle but whoever it lands on goes into a closet for seven minutes and it's locked.” Jinx directed where the people were with the point of her painted fingertip.

Vi let go of your hand, moving from behind you so she can talk to everyone more closely. “Pardon?” Vi quirks an eyebrow, “Seven minutes in heaven and spinning the bottle combined? Alright, fuck it, what do ya say, sweetheart?” Vi’s head turned to you, she licked her lips anticipating your answer. She only would indulge in this silly game if you did.

At the sudden question, you felt yourself grow hot, “Sure! Let’s have fun, what do you guys think?” You ignored the creeping thoughts growing in your head hoping, somehow, that luck would be on your side for once. And… if you played this game, you’d end up, alone, locked in a closet with Vi.

“Hell yeah! I mean, I am the one who told you about it,” Jinx laughed, turning to playfully poke Ekko in the side. He laughed at her, shrugging off her antics.

You all politely asked to join the game, which had the people already playing, clapping, and nodding their heads excitedly. People muttered about restarting the game with the new addition of people, and so a new game began.

“I’m sooo excited,” Jinx whispered, bumping your side as you all watched the people fumble to reset the bottle.

“Wait! Let one of the newbies take a turn,” one guy insisted. His eyes landed on you, “Hey! How about you try it out?”

Your lips parted, not knowing what to say before you nodded. “Yeah, okay,” you breathed, leaning forward to spin the bottle. The time within you spinning the bottle, and then waiting to see who it landed on felt like a lifetime. You felt your stomach doing somersaults, you gulped, seeing the bottle beginning to slow and eventually come to a halt.

The air felt thick, as if time paused at that moment, the bottle stopped and pointed at Vi. A smirk emerged onto her face, your eyes falling from the bottle to her piercing one. Your eyes held contact for mere seconds, the chatter of people drowned out, and you zoned out and only focused on Violet.

Suddenly, you were snapped out of said trance when someone, Ekko, poked your shoulder gently. “Hey, you good?” he murmured, seeing you space out, only mere seconds ago.

You nodded, giving him a thumbs up to reassure him. “Yeah, just surprised. Guess I better go to whatever closet with Vi, at least.”

Ekko smiled, watching you get up as people muttered at you to “hurry up and go.’” Those people were the least of your concerns when you’d be locked in a closet with Vi. The fact it was reality and going to happen had your heart beating wildly out of your chest.

Vi was already standing up, waiting for you and someone to lead you both to the closet. “At least it landed on someone you know, sweets,” Vi added, poking your side. Your head snapped towards her, shooting her a glare.

The girl in front of you, the one leading you to the closet cleared her throat. “Are you guys ready to go now?”

“Yeah, sorry. Let’s go,” you shared a glance with Vi before the two of you followed after the girl. You were brought to a room only a few meters away, the closet tucked in the corner. The girl brought both of you right to the closet door.

“Alright, hurry in, the timer starts when the door closes,” the girl smiled, opening the closet door, and ushering the two of you inside. Vi snuck another glance in your direction, herself still not believing the situation. “Try not to be too loud!” She winked, closing the door, and fiddling with the lock.

The closet was small, the two of you huddled together, trying to sit comfortably within the small space. The darkness of the closet provided another challenge and made it impossible to see or navigate your surroundings.

“Shit, why couldn’t this stupid closet have a light?” Vi mumbled, blinking her eyes to adjust to the darkness. “Where are you even?” Her hand reached out into the darkness feeling for you, her fingertips met your thigh, your breath hitching at the touch. “There you are.”

You could imagine the stupid, cocky smirk on her face saying that. You were on the opposite side of the closet of her, body huddled together, knees against your chest. “Yep, here I am… Weird game for friends to end up in, right?” You joked, the word ‘friend’ making you feel sour.

Vi squeezed her hand against your thigh, the plump flesh squeezing in her firm grasp. You gulped feeling the grip. “Mhm, sweetheart friends are all we are,” she leaned closer, her grip on your thigh still firm. You made no effort to move her hand, which enticed her further and helped prove you did in fact like this. “I think we’re a lot more than friends, and it’s pretty clear at this point. So quit the bullshit and c’mere,” her voice was low and husky.

Her words put you in a trance, you leaned forward, scooting closer to her, to close the distance. Her hand lets go of your thigh, and before you can complain at the loss of contact she cups your cheek and brings your lips in for a fiery, hot kiss. It was messy and filled with passion, you immediately returned the kiss. Almost feeling greedy at how you nipped at her lower lip, gliding your tongue against it, before she eagerly opened her mouth allowing you to overtake her mouth. Your tongues lapping against one another, you moaned softly into Vi’s mouth feeling relieved to finally be kissing her.

Vi noticed your spread legs, allowing her to slot herself between your thighs, and forcing you to twist your legs around her. She mentally noted the time she had left with you, slipping her free hand in between your legs and going oh, so dangerously close to your panties.

Your hands were wrapped around her neck, you pulled away to breathe and felt Vi’s sneaky hand near where you needed her most. “W-what are you doing?” You panted out, still trying to catch your breath from the heated kiss.

“Wanna finger you, right here, right now. Can’t help myself, princess,” Vi admitted, chest rising and falling steadily. If you could see her right now you’d see the way her face was dusted lightly, lips red and blotchy from the kissing.

You whined, gripping the overgrown hair at the back of her head, Vi groaned softly loving the way your feelings felt gripping at her hair. “We can’t do it here..” you said in a hushed voice. You so badly wanted it, but here of all places?

“Please… want to please you, princess,” Vi pleaded, and she kissed your lips. Your panties dampened even more and you felt yourself let go, giving in to her frantic kisses.

You pulled back for a second, nodding, “Please… do it before they come.”

When those words left your mouth that was all Vi needed before she moved her hand to where you needed her. Her fingers moved your thong to the side, sliding two into your wet, aching hole. She cut off the loud moan that almost escaped your lips with her lips sealed against yours, you eagerly returned the passionate kiss.

Vi curled her fingers slightly, angling to get deeper inside of you, and hit the spot that felt so good. You needily swiped your tongue against Vi’s, the two of you exchanging saliva in between the messy kisses. Vi pumped her fingers faster, groaning at the wetness pooling around her sleek fingers.

The two of you only had a few minutes left, Violet pulled back. Hurriedly pumping her fingers deeper, before she stilled for a moment to slide a third one in. Feeling her insert the third finger, then pumping them in and out of you, curling to hit your g-spot, had you craning your head into her neck. You muffled the cry of pleasure, hands still gripping her pink hair, and Vi loved it.

The sounds you were making, the muffled sounds of the music playing outside the closet door were long forgotten to her by the smacking of her fingers drilling in and out of you. Along with your wetness squealing in the small space of the closet. She fucking loved it.

“God, pretty girl… you’re so wet just from kissing and my fingers? Gotta get you home after this,” she sighed, smirking to herself at the ideas popping in her head.

“Please, Vi only have a few minutes left and I’m close,” you mewled against her.

“Yeah? We gotta hurry then, pretty girl,” she pumped her fingers faster, if possible, her fingers hitting your g-spot over and over until you felt your stomach clench up, your vision went white, and you swear you heard yourself whine loudly like never before. Surely, the sound alerted people outside the room, but who the fuck cares? With how your muscles spasmed and clenched as the waves of the moment overtook you.

“O-oh my god,” you gasped, clutching onto her shoulders, pretty painted nails digging in as you tried to roll your hips into her hand to ride out the intensity of your orgasm. Vi softly kissed your neck, leaving small marks along your neck as you clung to her.

“Holy fuck, you just came all over my fingers,” Vi uttered with her fingers still curled tightly inside of your cunt. You whined at the sensitivity from your previous orgasm, Vi begrudgingly took her fingers out of you understanding you were sensitive. Her digits were coated in your slick cum, she brought her fingers to her mouth and moaned at the sweet taste of you. She cleaned the mess away off her fingers before pecking your lips. “You feel alright?”

Your chest swelled, your body still recovering from the post-orgasm. “Yeah, that was… Fucking amazing, Vi,” you smiled, your fingers coming up to cup her cheek and passing over the small tattoo under her eye. The one that marked her name… Vi. Your Vi, the one that you love.

Before either of you could say anything else, there was a knock on the door. “Time’s up, lovebirds!” You hurriedly pulled away from each other, you fixed your skirt, smoothing the material as Vi wiped her mouth and fixed her wrinkled clothes.

The door opened, Jinx being the one to open the door this time. She saw your appearance, both your lips red and swollen from the kisses. She smirked and wiggled her eyebrows, “You guys finally confessed and… did a lot more than that!”

You dashed up and playfully smacked her side, your face feeling hot. “Please shut up! And keep it down,” you pleaded. Embarrassment rushed over you, but Vi got up and coddled your side.

“It’s fine, pretty girl. Nothing to be ashamed of,” she shrugged. She acted as if her sister wasn’t right there and didn’t quickly infer what the two of you did. It also didn’t help that she confidently wrapped her arm around you, a smirk adorning her face as she pushed past Jinx and walked out of the room with you.

You were left speechless even when she led you out of the party and to her car.

“Wanna come back to my place or yours?” She whispered, eyes gazing into yours from the driver’s seat.

“Mine,” you grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “Please, I want you all to myself.”

Vi hummed, starting the car and nodding. “I know, pretty girl and you will, I promise,” she squeezed your hand in reassurance. “Wanted you… long before this.” Vi never thought she would admit it, but now she could care less knowing you both felt the same. She brought your hand up and kissed it.

Your heart swelled, your hand felt warm and clammy, and you almost felt like you were floating. “Me too, Vi,” you whispered. She put her hand back in yours and drove the two of you back to your closer apartment.

The two of you did a lot more than fingering for the rest of the night.

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Author’s note: I hope you guys enjoyed… please spare me

#vi arcane x reader #vi arcane x reader smut #vi i need you #arcane #arcane x reader #vi x reader #league of legends #wlw post #wlw #me need her now #next post will be more juicy #arcane x you #arcane x female reader #arcane vi x reader #arcane vi x you #lesbian

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oppysbabydoll · 1 day ago

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Heck yeah Ratchet fics

May I ask for a soulmate au fic about Ratchet from Prime and a human?

-🌱

of course! i know im a bit late on this request, so both of our sakes i am making these headcanons BUT!! if you want me to write a short drabble regarding my headcanons, feel free to send another request :)

ratchet (tfp) x reader soulmate au (sfw)

the most common soulmate au is where the first word your soulmate says to you becomes permanently etched to your hand. since bots don’t have flesh to necessarily have writing on them… imo, that version of soulmate au doesn’t fit. instead, i’ll be taking the countdown till you meet your soulmate

it seemed since the allspark gave birth to cybertron, bots always had soulmates. a timer is attached to every bot, symbolizing the amount of time left before they meet the one. myths surround soulmates, with the most famous soulmate tales becoming conjunx endura: forever partnered. ratchet too, has this clock. unlike popular culture, he doesn’t really believe in the one. that whoever he’s supposed to be is who he’ll be with. that they’ll become conjunx endura (married). especially since he’s had it… for millennia

everyone always jokes his timer was good luck, or a sign of age, because of how long he’d have to wait for his One. but honestly? he’s relieved. he isn’t being distracted by anyone else to do his job: heal people. his job gives him purpose, above all. to lose that to a person, a distraction, would be detrimental. he doesn’t believe in the fundamentalist crap of your alt mode defining your function but he’d be damned if anything stopped him from performing his duty

as the war starts, the dreaded date slowly feels closer and closer. 4 millennia is a lot. but as eons go back, so does the time. the timer slips to 3, than 2… when it becomes less than 1, he starts to fear soulmates. doing everything in his power to avoid it—ceasing soulmate talks, covering his timer, even refusing to be in the same room as conjunx endura when they’re being too affectionate for his taste. like he said, he doesn’t need any distractions. not where there’s so many bots to heal

when they arrived on earth, ratchet’s fear became all time high. he’s not stupid, after all. the more time they spent on this planet, with no means of escaping, the more he worries about the possibility: his soulmate is human. with his particular distaste for organics and their “inferior” culture, a human being his soulmate felt impossible. adding on the fact that humans… didn’t have soulmates. they had the conceptual idea but actual tangible soulmates? counting you down to your destined day? nada. zilch

it’s why when the day actually came, he was determined to ignore you. primus themself can try, but he won’t be bound by destiny. yet despite his best attempts, avoiding you when your job is a diplomat… is nigh impossible. he couldn’t get rid of you no matter what

you remain unaware of his inner conundrum. despite his obvious contempt of the situation, you stick to professionalism. but when you aren’t looking, he finds himself getting lost in your gaze. optics transfixed on the concentrated expression on your face. and maybe… just maybe… in the crevices of his processor, he thinks of them together

#ratchet x reader #transformers x reader #transformers x human #asks #anon #ratchet tfp #tfp ratchet #tfp #tfp ratchet x reader #soulmate au #lmk ur thoughts op <3 they genuinely mean a lot :)

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tickly-trashcan · 21 hours ago

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Hear Me Out Cake Event!!

This is the wildest idea for an event I've had but... HEAR ME OUT!!!

In this event, we'll be putting our own tickly twist on the hear me out cake trend!! For our hear me out cake, we'll put the characters we'd like to see get tickled on the cake!! >:) I'll explain more below the cut, but I'd also like to extend an invitation for other creators to jump on this event if they'd like!! :D The event will be starting next week on January 12, so keep an eye out for that!

Here's a quick summary of the event, but I will also explain more hehehe~ There are three stages to this event! The first stage is the Hear Me Out!! stage, where you'll pick out a character you'd like to put onto the cake! The second stage is where all of the characters on the cake are announced, which I'm calling the Big Slice or Little Slice stage! The final stage is called Serving the Cake, and it is where the cake is sliced and all the characters on the cake are given a slice of cake (in the form of tickles! >:D)

Hear Me Out!! Stage:

The first stage of the event! This will run from Jan. 12 through Jan. 18 and will be everyone's opportunity to submit a character for the cake! To submit a character, just send me an ask with the character you'd like to submit for the cake! Please specify the fandom as well :) If you'd like to go above and beyond, then feel free to explain why you want to put this character on the cake!! I'll be posting the asks as they come in before posting the final list of characters, so this is where we can all get silly and talk about the characters we love!

One note for this event: I'm really hoping the community gets together for this event, so if there's a character from a fandom that's not on my personal fandom list, still send them in!! I'll be writing for characters that I know about, but if there's a character that you love, you should send them in! If I don't know them, maybe someone else will end up picking them!

Big Slice or Little Slice Stage:

The second stage of the event! This stage will start on Jan. 20 when the full list of characters is posted! During this stage, any creator can pick out however many characters they'd like to write for and start creating whatever they'd like for them!! Art, fics, whatever you'd like to make! There's no limit on who you can write for or draw in this event but also don't feel pressure to create something for every character on the list!

Another note: The dates after the Hear Me Out!! stage are all pretty iffy just so y'all know! Ideally I'll have the list up on Jan. 20 but it could be later, and also the time frame for the Slicing the Cake stage is super flexible for creators! Don't feel pressure to stick within that time (I will for sure be posting outside of the time given haha)

Serving the Cake Stage:

The final (and most fun!) stage of the event! This stage will start on Feb. 3, two weeks after the full list of characters is shared! This is when anyone can start posting their slices of character cake onto Tumblr to share! You are also more than welcome to post before this time, it's just a rough time frame hehe~ If you're participating in this event, please use the tag #cakes and tickles so that everyone can follow along with the event! It's a terrible tag but it'll work haha! There's no technical time limit on the event, but I was thinking the posting period could be from Feb. 3 through Mar. 3 just for a fun little "month" of cake! But like I said before there is absolutely no pressure to do it within that time frame, just make sure to have fun if you decide to participate!! I'll try and reblog as many tickly creations as I can, so make sure to use the tag above hehehe :D

And that's pretty much it!! This is a crazy event and I'm really hoping that other people participate (if not that is all good there is NO pressure I just thought this would be a fun little community thing haha)! I'm looking forward to the best hear me out cake EVER!!!

If you have any questions about this event prior to it beginning, please don't hesitate to send me a message or an ask! I think I explained everything but there could easily be something that I missed! Thank you guys and look forward to this! :D

#hear me out cake event #tickle community #tfb community #cakes and tickles #event

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bbcreative-0 · 2 days ago

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Sonic Idea

Okay so I watch the Sonic 3 Movie like two weeks ago and I came up with an idea that I think is pretty cool. I will admit I’m surprise I haven’t seen someone else pitch this already.

Okay DISCLAIMER: This idea can ONLY apply to Sonic in the movie only. I haven’t been up to date with my Sonic lore so I apologize if I get some things wrongs. I’m only pitching this idea in the hopes people that actually do know what they are talking about can pick this idea up. Please feel free to use this idea all I ask is to be mentioned, tag me, or use the tag I will be using.

SHADOW AND SONIC ROLE SWITCH

Okay I will admit the details are still getting worked on but this basically what I have:

So Sonic ends up getting crashed on Earth, GUN takes him in, and Maddie and Tom take care of Sonic. (Maddie can like a doctor and Tom can be like a guard or something, what matters is they work there)

Maddie and Tom love Sonic like a son, and Sonic loves them like they are his parents. Gerald Robotnik can still be experimenting on Sonic that stuff stays the same. Gerald is very protective over this family because he lost his own so it’s why he is so invested in them.

Tom and Gerald find out what GUN’s plans and they immediately try to escape with Sonic. Maddie joining with them because she isn’t going to leave Sonic behind. They get chased but as they get to the explosion maybe Tom shields Gerald and Maddie try to shield Sonic.

General Walter tries to stop the soldiers and we know what happens. They kaboom, we know what happens. Extra flavor of angst have Maddie try to tell Sonic something but he doesn’t understand/can’t remember because trauma.

Maddie and Tom are dead, Sonic goes to put on ice, and Gerald goes to jail. That part stays the same. Now onto Shadow, he is found by Longclaw, she raises him and here is where Idk how exactly this would work but this is what I got so far.

So when Longclaw is raising Shadow and they get attacked. I think the attack should like people that are connected to Rouge is…IDK how to work that in, (maybe Rouge has a clan like Knuckles) idk but they are only after Longclaw in hopes to find the Master Chaos Emerald. Longclaw saves Shadow and that’s how the first movie plays out.

Shadow lives on Earth in hiding until he gets discovered by a woman named Maria. She takes Shadow in and the whole movie plays out with Shadow and Maria. I think it would be cool if Maria didn’t know who her family is so it will be a big twist when she learns that she is related to Ivo.

Anyways, Maria has Shadow will her. Mother-son dynamic happens and cue the second movie happening. Rouge is after Shadow to get the Chaos Emerald, and Amy is following Shadow around. Ivo and Stone are still the antagonist of everything, they get taken care, and movie ends with Shadow, Rouge, and Amy all becoming Siblings with Maria as the mom

Third movie happens Sonic gets free and is on a revenge quest with Gerald, Ivo, and Stone. We know what happened. It would be cool to see Sonic hurting Maria (By accident) and Shadow having the same mental down that happened in the movie. They fight, save the world, and everything plays out the same in the movie with the characters.

Maybe with the end credit scene it’s like Metal Shadow and maybe Knuckles attacks them??? Tails??? Idk one of them and that’s basically everything I have so far to this idea.

If anyone wants to change or tweak some of this around go for it!!! This whole post is just an excuse for me to ramble a Sonic Idea I have had.

BONUS IDEA: Have Sonic x Amy happen and Shadow is in the background being livid about it because protective big brother

Alright that’s it hopefully someone gets inspired or at least found this interesting (Use the “sonic and shadow role switch” if you’d like to expand on this)

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virtueofsanityx · 4 hours ago

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if dmitri were anyone else, reggie might have balked at being called princess, but it doesn't even phase him as the thick air around them seems to shift. one thing about reggie has always been true, and that's that he's a truely submissive man at heart. with his job being what it is, running into burning buildings, saving lives, living in a constant state of working out and keeping up his strength, the men he's dated in the past tend to assume dominance of him and let him take control. he can, it's not like it's an impossible task for him, but the longing to let himself be consumed, to lay down the power and let someone else pick it up while he enjoys whatever pleasure that might offer him, it's intoxicating in a way he can't describe.

dmitri is a powerful man, and knowing his tastes from their talks throughout their friendship, it's clear that he's going to be given what he wants. that nickname, and the teasing little comment after it, those are the first indicators. and the kiss granted to him is something he sinks into, a whimpering little moan slipping free of his lips and into his best friend's mouth. this might be a bad idea, they might be making a huge mistake, but right now it feels like they're doing everything exactly right.

reggie won't dare to dream for more. won't dare to assume they'll wake up in the morning and everything will change. maybe things will go back to exactly how they were before tonight. two friends who talk about everything, two best friends who can goof around and joke and drink together. maybe things will be more awkward, because reggie knows himself well enough to at least know that he'll be thinking about this night for a long time, and that it'll be harder to look at dmitri without thinking about the impressive cock under his hand, daydreaming about it splitting him open. maybe something else entirely will come of the night, and reggie can't even begin to imagine what that would be.

in any case, he's allowing himself to enjoy the moment without sinking into whatever dark feelings are coming behind it. his arms wind around dmitri's neck, and his legs squeeze the man's broad hips, holding tightly as he's carried upstairs, and letting his lips carve little trails of hot, open mouthed kisses along his sharp jawline, sucking salt and sweat off his skin and moaning against it until he's seated again on dmitri's lap.

there's not enough time to even take in the elegance and beauty of the room before they're kissing again, his body moving with the guidance on his hips, his own cock hard and weeping and begging for more. this would feel much better without the clothing in the way, and he almost says it, but there's barely a moment to catch his breath between kisses, hot and wet and passionate. desperate. the tight coil in his stomach wants to unravel desperately, and his well clipped nails are biting into the skin of dmitri's shoulders as his body continues to grind against the other man, enjoying his impressive girth under him and far too flushed and excited to have it buried inside of him.

there's barely a moment to catch his breath before dmitri is speaking, and his wide eyes, clouded over with lust, only blink once before he nods. "yes, sir." it slips out of him so easily, the words, that they feel natural, and as he slides from dmitri's lap, he doesn't hesitate to pull the tank top over his head to toss it somewhere in the room, moves quickly to his pants, the dark spot on the front a clear indication of how excited he is prominent as he slides them down his legs and steps out of them. his body falls gently back into the furs covering the bed, silky against his heated back, as his legs fall open and his hard cock bounces against his stomach, the sensation of it making him moan again softly. one of his hands move to rest against his stomach, just above the swollen head it, not touching but so desperate to, fingers flexing with the effort not to move down and grab it.

Since they've met. God, Reggie's been hiding his desires all this time? And Dmitri, fuck, he's been just as guilty, drowning in his own need, denying it, but never fully letting it go. He doesn't regret putting friendship first, not really... but he knows, deep down, that he'll regret this. He'll regret giving in. Regret the way he's about to break beneath the crushing pressure of everything he's been holding back. But it doesn't matter anymore. The dam's broken. He's past the point of reason. He needs Reggie----- like oxygen, like his next heartbeat, as if being inside him tonight is the only thing capable of keeping him from snapping completely. Nevertheless, Dmitri doesn't call him out, doesn't demand words or confessions, even when a part of him aches to. They're both caught in this unspoken agreement, shackled by the same fire. All secrets laid bare. No masks. No hiding. Just unfiltered, desperate need, and the silent promise that, for tonight, neither of them will judge the other for finally breaking.

In moments like this, Dmitri realizes this is all he’s ever wanted: Reggie near enough to steal his breath, that beautiful face tinged with a shy blush, their noses brushing in a tormenting almost-kiss... and Reggie's hand on his cock, stroking him through the fabric of his boxers. It’s a fantasy made flesh, so consuming it leaves Dmitri’s brown eyes blazing with lust and awe, pleasure spreading with thickly molten heat in his groin, pooling through his tense, muscular thighs in relentless, intoxicating pulses. But that's---- fuck, that's not what nearly undoes him. Physical touch is captivating, yes, but when Reggie's voice drops, needy and pleading? Saying Dmitri was unprepared would be a laughable understatement.

This time, Dmitri leans forward, his breath catching as he presses his lips to Reggie's in a slow, burning kiss, gentle and full of aching tenderness. Showing how grateful he is for Reggie's vulnerable pleas that shoot straight down to his cock, the impressive girth feeling all heavy against Dmitri's thigh, and twitching needily under the palm doing all the cupping and stroking. (A life like this, where kisses are soft, loving, and hands roam with intention, discovering and teasing each other's sweetest spots, would be incredible to come home to, time and again. Dmitri knows it can’t happen, that it's impossible, but for now, he feels as if he's stepped into the most euphoric, otherworldly dream.)

Let me show you how well I can take it. That, plays on his mind again and again. Makes his cock so unfairly heavy and hard and----- he'd always suspected, quietly, but he'd never known his friend could be so mesmerizing, like a force of nature, too powerful to resist.

"Mm," a low rumble vibrates from Dmitri’s solid chest, his muscles shifting with the subtle movement as his eyes flutter shut for a brief moment, savoring the heady pleasure of having Reggie this close, so vulnerable, so eager. ...But Dmitri wouldn’t be Dmitri if he didn’t bully him, at least a little. Not like he would with a faceless stranger who existed only to satisfy a physical need. No, Reggie deserves as much as he can bear, but Dmitri would never unleash his full force on him. The weight of their friendship holds him back, keeps him from giving in entirely to the darker urges that stir beneath the surface, the ones that could overwhelm them both. Despite everything, though, he can still indulge in a fleeting bite of his dominance, and watch Reggie respond to the subtle force of it. "I dunno, princess..." His voice emerges as a gruff growl rather than a whisper, cutting through the crackling fire before pausing as Dmitri presses another soft kiss to Reggie’s silky-smooth lips. His best friend's lips were definitely fucking addictive, and they probably shouldn't get used to kissing like this... but oh well. "I think you can beg better than that."

That devilishly handsome mouth curves into a satisfied smirk, enjoying every second of this, and then----- Dmitri's scooping those big hands beneath Reggie’s bottom, pulling him up with a strength that leaves no room for escape, urging him to hold on as Dmitri swings his legs over the edge of the couch and rises to his feet. As he stands, he cradles Reggie's clinging form effortlessly, his body a perfect blend of power and grace, the years of hard training not only shaping his physique but fortifying it with a strength that makes carrying Reggie feel like the simplest thing in the world. Every bit of that conditioning, every moment spent building his body, has thankfully led him to this, where handling Reggie is second nature. With that smirk still playing on his lips, and a warm, fond gleam in his eyes, Dmitri walks toward the stairs, feeling the pulse of Reggie’s arousal pressed against him, the heat of it burning against his torso as he carries him upward.

When they reach the bedroom, Dmitri kicks the door open with a force that sends a thrill through the air. He strides to the foot of the large bed and falls onto it with raw urgency; it's a masterpiece of opulence and power, black silk sheets stretched over the mattress like a dark embrace, their smooth surface inviting yet commanding. The furs on top are deep and rich, silvery greys and dusky browns, with matching silk pillows scattered across like darkened clouds. It's certainly a room suffused with a masculine elegance, the polished dark wood of the walls and floors gleaming with a subdued, sensual glow. On the walls, grand, framed portraits of legendary fighters and boxers stare down, and the air remains thick with the scent of wood and leather furniture. Dmitri pulls Reggie, possessive hands sinking into Reggie's supple hips, his touch hungry and firm as he keeps him seated on his lap. Strong digits stroke over the warm, smooth flesh of those hips, a heated sound of satisfaction rolling in his chest.

Their mouths meet in another frantic crash, desperate, starving----- tongues flickering and exploring again. The soft flesh of their lips have even started throbbing from the intense pressure, molding against each other in a fevered dance, pushing, pulling, and yielding, but it's just so fucking good that obviously they don't know when to stop, and it's hardly worth even trying to catch a breath. And, of course, Dmitri makes Reggie roll those fine hips, forcing him to hump down into his lap and provide his cock with that sweet friction that's only teasingly enough. After a while, Dmitri can't take it anymore, pulling away from the kiss with a sharp breath, his intense brown eyes locking onto Reggie, cutting through him with pure intimidation. Well, what would've made anyone else start to cower a bit, but probably not his best friend. "Let's get you undressed," he harshly rasps, and---- yeah, they're doing this. It's happening. And he keeps his gaze fixed on Reggie, searching for any hint of hesitation or fear, any sign that this isn’t what he wants. "Undressed... and on the bed. You got that?" His voice, low and strained, begins to take on some semblance of order as he lets Reggie slip off his lap. Then, Dmitri stands with a powerful fluidity, his form a looming presence in the dark as he prowls, lifting an expectant brow at Reggie. The silence stretches between them before he moves to light the vanilla candles on the wooden tables, the flickering flames casting shadows that seem to pulse with the mounting intensity.

#muse: peter #with: dmitri

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florelia12 · 2 years ago

Text

What If Scenario - Helia didn’t have feelings for Flora…at first.

An AU where its more of a friends to lovers for Helia and love at first sight for Flora. One-sided pining until it’s almost too late.

So, it starts with Flora and Helia and their iconic meeting. Flora falls for him but Helia’s just like “hm, nice girl.” He makes a habit out of drawing people/strangers and gives it to them. But, Flora starts to develop a crush on him because of the drawing and also because he’s hot.

They organically become friends, with Flora (retaining her wonderful season 1 personality) making an effort to get to know him. This happens because he is assigned to the squad and is having a hard time adjusting. At one point, Flora confesses to him she feels left out too because Aisha and her used to be close until Musa and Aisha became closer. She’s not jealous because she knows Aisha cares about her but it does make her feel a little bit like no one in their group really gets her.

Helia has trauma (ofc he does) and is hesitant to make friends. Why? Because his old squad were assholes to him and when a mission went wrong, a lot of people got hurt and they blamed it all on him thinking they’d get away with it since he is Saladin’s grandson. Did that happen? Ofc not. Helia being Helia didn’t argue and simply accepted his fate. Saladin kind of forced him to take a break from RF, go for therapy and try and get his shit together. Hence, the gap year at a local art school on Magix proceeded by him showing up again on Saladin’s doorstep and refusing to leave since he almost died at the end of season 1.

Helia tries to convince Saladin that he is ready to be back. Saladin has his doubts. He puts him with Sky’s team and Helia thinks its a test because who are these lovable dysfunctional idiots but really it’s because Saladin knows he’ll fit right in. Now he just has to convince Saladin (truly, himself) that he is meant to be a Specialist and so they go on missions and yada yada. Back to where I trailed off…

He’s truly not interested in relationships right now because he has way too much on his plate but he does grow fond of Flora and appreciates the efforts she puts in to make him part of the group. Even helps her out with her own insecurities and helping her gain her Charmix. They become close and the closer they get the more Flora is reluctant to ever confess.

The girls hound her about it, the boys assume Helia has any idea that Flora has a crush on him but nothing happens because angst is what keeps us alive. ALSO. Helia, Flora and Aisha friendship with Aisha being stuck in the middle of these oblivious idiots after Helia and Aisha bond over being the newbies —- something she was forced into after Flora pushing her but then ends up genuinely enjoy Helia’s friendship proceeded by Helia helping Flora get closer to Aisha again after they drifted for a while there.

So now Helia reaches a point around in season 3 right before Eraklyon’s Anniversary Party (i think we all know where this is going 🐉 ) and he realises when Sky invites him that he really is a part of the squad and that they are really his friends. Its like his moment of realising that hey he’s on the other side and reached the end of the tunnel. Like. He’s happy. He’s healthy. So, he agrees to go to the ball/party idk

Now. We love a little jealous moment during the pining stage. So, Stella sets Flora up with a date for the party — maybe Brandon’s cousin or Sky’s friend (she knows what she’s doing). Then, casually assigns Aisha as Helia’s date which he is fine about until he sees Flora in the ballgown ( cue that scene when Brandon’s jaw drops after seeing Stella at her Princess Ball ). Now he’s not too happy about Flora having a date to the ball. Does he talk to her about it? No. He sulks in one corner in true Helia style because hopping planets isn’t an option right now and his therapist told him no.

Aisha decides to give him a wake up call. Helia’s like pft no, Flora doesn’t like me like that she’s nice to everyone. Aisha tries not to hit him. At some point, Helia had told Flora he wasn’t looking for a relationship and wasn’t ready and she was like good for you I support you 100% bestie even though she was dying on the inside (haha wonder where that was inspired from, definitely not projecting what). So, Flora never made any move on him.

He asks if Flora still has a crush on him. Aisha refuses to tell him. He gets frustrated and then gets even more frustrated seeing Flora dancing with the other guy because what if she’s moved on which he would have appreciated before he had the epiphany at the worst time possible. Decides to impulsively cut in and Flora’s like huh but then stupid Sky (i love him) decides its the perfect time to announce his love for Blo- nope, Diaspro.

They all get distracted trying to run from certain death at the hand of their friend turned cruel prince (cardan my beloved but thats not relevant). Flora then gets attacked by Sky’s dragon.

Angst.

Helia finally realises that shit he loves her. She’s his best friend and he can’t lose her <\3 Tries not to breakdown and fails miserably. Therapist tells him its good he is feeling his feelings because they are annoying like that (the good ones are life-savers)

Flora doesn’t die and Helia was a little overdramatic because Magic makes healing faster and less painful. But, now he needs to deal with his feelings for his best friend which is what he calls her when she wakes up and shes like aw, same <3.

Flora senses the shift in him but remains oblivious to his awkward flirting and thinks he is being extra sweet since she was hurt. Aisha is trying not to pull out her hair.

Flora gets her Enchantix, Helia is still miserably in love but then starts to avoid her because he is so confused and he does not want to ruin his friendship with her. Flora is sad but she’s too busy saving the world so they stay quietly missing each other

Then Tecna gets sucked into the Omega portal. Helia is there for her again, no longer avoiding her and he helps her through it. She tells him she was afraid that another friend grew tired of her or bored and drifted away. She feels like she tries to be there for people and a shoulder to cry on but after a point its all she is. Sometimes she thinks that’s all she knows. She thought this time it’d be different.

Helia almost confesses but knows this isn’t the right time because she is grieving. But he assures her that she is not forgettable or replacable. Tries to make her believe it but she doesn’t seem so convinced. Internally beats himself up but his therapist assures him that healing is not linear (i need to text back mine)

They save Tecna, hurrah and now Nabu is in the picture. Hello, Aisha 😏

They go to the Red Tower looking for Water Stars. Riven and Helia stay behind, Flora sends the cute little video message and Riven sees Nabu and gets ready to throw hands

When Helia tries to stop him, Riven calls him out and says hey at least im fighting for the girl i like. Helia’s like da fuck? Does everyone know but me? Riven calls him stupid and then leaves him to his overthinking in his towel. (Yall know what scene im talking about)

Anyways, they get the Water Stars and they come back but Flora’s quiet again. Helia tries to get her to open up and she tells him her test in the crystal labyrinth was about her worst fear of being forgotten. That if she wanted the water stars, she would have to choose to be forgotten by everyone, that they forget they ever knew her. Of course she chose that path because the universe was more impt than that.

Even though the council of elders eventually restored the sacrifices, for a while no one remembered she existed and that’s terrifying.

Helia tells her he can’t imagine a world without her in it. Cue intense eye contact and then they kiss.

Finally. Cue Aisha’s florelia senses tingling like that Charles scene in b99 with peraltiago (please understand this reference)

Flora is the first to pull away thinking she kissed him even though it was very much a simultaneous effort from both parties. She panics and apologises. Helia is hurt that she looks like she regrets every decision she has ever made in her life but understands. She runs away. (Girl, same)

The last one of the gang turns 18 so they decide to go to the club for the first time. Since Aisha had Nabu now, Stella declares that Helia will be Flora’s date. Are they happy about it since they’ve been avoiding each other? Nope. Do they say no? Also no.

They sit awkwardly in the club once the pairs start pairing off. Not talking until Flora can’t stand the silence and apologises again. Says she doesn’t want to lose him as a friend. Helia agrees even though he wants to be more. They are okay for a bit before Valtor that diva sky-telecasts his challenge to duel the headmasters.

More angst and so this is why this will never be written out into a fic as my patience is a thin as my hair.

Helia is worried about Saladin but Saladin assures him Helia is ready to be on his own if anything should happen to him during the duel. He isn’t afraid to leave Helia behind because he knows he has his people now.

Then he tells him to tell Flora how he feels.

How does Saladin know? He gives some weird wise sarcastic answer like “I’m all-knowing” but really it’s because Faragonda told him. She’s the one that’s actually “all-knowing” aka invades the privacy of her fav students and ships them.

Final battle with Valtor happens. Flora returns safely and they do share the hug at the end of the episode. Helia decided to tell her how he feels but at a better time and they agree to sit down and talk about it once its all over.

Is it over yet? Haha no. Valtor is still alive, kidnaps the specialists and leaves Helia behind. On the way to save his friends, he walks off to the back of the ship and admits to Flora he feels like he failed to protect him. She comforts him and he tells her that he was so scared he wont make it out alive. That Valtor was going to kill him. She starts tearing up.

He tells her that all he could think about as he possibly faced his last moments was not telling her how he felt. She tells him she has feelings for him too. But, ofc the moment doesn’t last and they are pulled back into the cockpit.

Now. It’s over for reals. Stella throws another Princess Ball because I would too if i got turned into a monster halfway at my first one.

After all the intense moments and will they won’t they moments and pining and anticipation… they finally have a good, soft Florelia moment and they get together. The end.

#this #got out of hand #as usual #but oh well #imagine I dragged this on to season 4 #now that’d be fun #but yeah this never getting written #but anyone else is free to do so if they like the idea #if you have gotten this far into the post then here have a candy

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lucabyte · 5 months ago

Note

i'm so curious about your character gender reads now tho 👀👀

(You enter the kitchen and see me, eating shredded cheese out of the fridge by the handful)

(I turn around to face you.)

Hi. Do you want me to sell you on amab NB Siffrin? I'm going to try and sell you on amab NB Siffrin. And maybe even a little bit of tranfem siffrin and/or loop. as a treat. just for you.

So, (I put the cheese back in the fridge.)

This read of mine comes from a number of things, a lot of them to do with the game's themes, and to do with Siffrin being a narrative foil to the other characters. And Vaugarde as a whole.

(READMORE WARNING: THIS IS LIKE 6K WORDS LONG. YOU ALL SHOULD KNOW BY NOW I DON'T MAKE POSTS WITHOUT UNCONSCIOUNABLE AMOUNTS OF EVIDENCE AND EXPLANATION. IF ANYTHING I'M BEING RESTRAINED HERE. THUMBS UP.)

(Pre-readmore note: this is in response to me having given an analysis of how I personally percieve Sifloop in relation to asexuality and shipping. Which you can look at here. (x))

It is however, not what my like, no-holds-barred no-rules just-for-me headcanon for Siffrin would be. (which is intersex 'head empty no thoughts' siffrin, for the record). This is instead my close-reading-of-the-text-and-themes interpretation of Siffrin. This is why I'm gonna be saying Read and not Headcanon, to distinguish the two. (Anything I consider a little bit too much of a stretch vis a vis interpretive hard reads I will call a headcanon. But those are for the last bit of this post.)

Unlike *gestures at mass media* All That… ISAT is already packed to the gills with queer rep, to the point where I feel no need to grasp at straws and make overextended reaches into obviously unintended subtext. Like with, y'know, most media. Since here, the subtext isn't unintended. Like this isn't a Transfem Metal Sonic or Aroace Ash Ketchum situation where I know none of the evidence is on purpose and I'm just having fun making a conspiracy theory pinboard out of it. This is like… There's intentionality there. And I want to engage with it on its level, see what the text itself suggests. It's my personal preferred method of expressing deep respect to a text. (Not that it has to be anyone else's, obviously. This is just my way of showing I love a work.)

So yeah, I am, in general, very interested in hearing hard-fought arguments when it comes to interpreting texts. I'm glad ISAT has a lot to pick at here, and so, I will. (and since not a lot of texts ever have anywhere near this kind of depth in this arena, i don't wanna squander it… i'll try and keep my own biases as in check as i can, and already have done by hashing quite a bit of this interpretation out with two people of very different gender identities to mine. To put it mildly, binary-aligned or transfem I am very squarely Not.)

(Now that the cheese bag has been removed from the equation, I drop this framing device, sit you down at the table and begin to dredge up evidence from below it.)

Okay, so. What are my like… Core reasonings here? I think I can split it into three categories. Broadly, with an amount of overlap, so bear with me…

SIFFRIN AS A FOIL AND CONTRAST TO MIRABELLE, ISABEAU AND THE CHANGE RELIGION AS A WHOLE.

SIFFRIN'S HABITS OF CLINGING TO 'KNOWN QUANTITIES', SCAPEGOATS, AND THEMES OF RACIAL IDENTITY INTERSECTING WITH GENDER IDENTITY.

SIFFRIN, LOOP, DE-PERSONING, DEHUMANISING, APATHY AND SURVIVAL.

Okay so up top I'm going to split my argument for Siffrin's gender identity Present and Future here. This means, for now, I'm arguing for AMAB NB Siffrin alone. The transfem stuff is for later (and more for loop, in my mind, too).

I have a few direct observations of the text here that set things up. Here are the things in-game that make me assume that Siffrin, as of the start of the game, has not yet undergone any radical change to their identity in their life. Not on purpose, at least. These are ordered in a messy but logical flow, so uh, try and keep up. I'll synthesise at the end. I Prommy.

SIFFRIN AS A FOIL AND CONTRAST TO MIRABELLE, ISABEAU AND THE CHANGE RELIGION AS A WHOLE.

CHANGE & THE UNIVERSE: PERCEIVED OPPOSITES

When interacting with most objects in the Changing Room in the house, they express a genuine curiosity toward body craft. It seems they are legitimately unfamiliar with it on a deeper level than having simply heard of it.

Despite this curiosity (explicitly stating they've previously wondered about it), they dismiss it as too much work early on in the game. These points combined seem to suggest to me that they have never previously sought out any kind of real change to their appearance or identity. Either for gender reasons, or other body dysmorphia reasons. (Which, despite the dismissal, they do refer to their body as a 'meat prison', which is not particularly positive) However...

This changes in Act 3. In acts 3 and 4 they flatly state: "You're thinking about crafting your body. You seem to have all the time in the world now." While still never spoken aloud, their declining mental state corrosponds with a worn-down, almost nihilistic reckoning with the feelings they masked with the 'meat prison' joke in act 2.

[Image: Interactions with the change craft textbook in acts 2 and 3/4.]

In talking to Mirabelle, they are very self assured that one can stay the same/be comfortable with their born identity. They also seem a little unsettled by the change religion's flippancy in general, which makes sense, as they have been clinging to the famliar (even when painful) to cope with other traumas. (More on this later, section 2)

The Universe Faith appears to heavily disincentivise Wanting for oneself and other expressions of Free Will due to safeguarding against Wish craft. This seems to have impacted Siffrin's mental state majorly, even if they do not recognise it. The followers of the faith are (if Siffrin is to be believed) incentivised to 'go with the flow' and take paths of least resistance, and those that DO make big decisions will tend to justify things as being The Universe's Will. (See: The King's entire Modus Operandi, and the way Loop (and Siffrin) do the same rote actions, constructing worldviews (the play analogy, the Universe's Will) and justify that as what the Universe Would Want (despite a total lack of evidence to prove as such)) As such, it seems as if a follower of this faith as neurotic as Siffrin would be unlikely to act upon any Wants to Change Themselves without a lot of turmoil and backwards-justification. (Of note, Loop's forcible change coinciding with a dropping of pronoun. But that is again for later, section 3) As of the start of the game, they do not appear to have broached this kind of turmoil directly.

[Image: Act 5 interaction with the star journal, emphasis on it being a cautionary tale against reckless usage of wish craft, instilled so deeply to be a children's bedtime story]

Siffrin, in act 5, grows frustrated with both The Universe and The Change God, feeling abandoned by the former. They struggle with simultaneously anthropomorphising the Universe as a cruel onlooker, while also seemingly acknowledging them as a cold, almost scientific fact of nature. This would heavily imply that the 'blame' put upon the Universe by Siffrin in these moments is known to them, at least a little, to be potentially meaningless. It seems that somewhere in Siffrin's belief system is something, be it the core or merely a creeping worry, that the Universe is not a thinking, feeling, thing. And thus that their invocations of "The Universe's Will" are merely rationalisations of random chance and consequence. This is in DIRECT contrast to the Change God, proven to be an emotive sapient entity, who merely refuses to offer a helping hand. (Similar sentiments are, too, spoken by the Change God itself.)

[Images: Interacting with the window in the observatory in act 5, text from the change god meeting]

So. These are the bulk of my observations when it comes to how Siffrin is positioned in contrast to the Change Belief. It would seem to be that Siffrin, inkeeping with their role as an outsider, is a complete fish out of water in Vaugarde's change-centric world. This makes sense! It makes them a compelling foil to the Vaugardians in our cast, and allows the Vaugardians to challenge Siffrin's worldviews merely by existing. It also, more importantly, makes Siffrin an interesting lens through which to inspect our two most Change-driven characters. Mirabelle and Isabeau.

MIRABELLE.

Mirabelle and Siffrin's differing faiths are put on display the most frequently. Interactions like the circle key and the party's disbelief of Siffrin's facts about the stars make this clear. These interactions other Siffrin from the group further, and are another avenue through which Siffrin can ignore their own needs, not communicating with the party and allowing them to dismiss things he deems important.

Obviously, the friendquest is primarily about Mirabelle's struggle with her aromanticism and asexuality. But there's an implicit undercurrent of gender there too. Mirabelle has never made a big change, not like Isabeau. She has never 'changed completely', by her words. And Siffrin distinctly finds this an odd thing to be worried by. Whatever culture he carries has no pressure to explore these avenues, it seems. Siffrin is able to help her by sharing their honest opinions, that he's never felt the need to change these things, and he's happy (allegedly). Why should she?

[Image: Mirabelle's friendquest text] Siffrin is not thinking particularly hard when he first does the friendquests, they are just being themselves. By positioning Siffrin as this unchanged yet confident object, they are in the perfect position to help Mirabelle by being in her almost exact position, both sexuality and transgender status (albeit, with the caveats of potential alloromanticism, and a they pronoun), that they become her ideal foil. (And in fact, the subtle differences between their positions in canon add to this, showing a display of Perceived Genuine Truth, rather than simple in-group camaraderie)

Whereas…

ISABEAU.

When Mal du pays speaks as Isabeau, it says the following;

"I don't want to know someone who won't even try to change, who luxuriates in things staying the exact same like you do."

I don't want to know someone - Shame of being known, that's Isabeau's insecurity. Reflected back at Siffrin, who has become the worst thing imaginable to each of their friends, in Siffrin's own mind. He absorbs their insecurities like a sponge and incorporates them into himself. Empathy turned ill.

Who luxuriates in things staying the exact same - Now THAT'S interesting. This is not Isabeau's insecurity, it's Siffrin's own. But also, it appears as if, Siffrin, whom to Mirabelle was unflappable in that not changing was alright, has internalised some of her worry. That it is MDP's Isabeau saying this, though, shows this is about Personal Change, perhaps even Specifically Gender and Self Image, rather than Mirabelle's spiritual side.

Isabeau and his distinct change in personality and gender, to become someone who he actually likes… Diametric to Siffrin, who has been stagnant for a long time, presumably as far as they can remember. It would seem to imply they have no recourse against this argument. Siffin becomes, in his mind, the opposite to Isabeau, a man he deeply admires the bravery of when told the story of his Change. These are Siffrin's words against themselves, that they consider themselves to have never even 'tried' whatever it is they think Change to be.

So. These are my main points vis a vis: Siffrin as a foil. This reading would posit that Siffrin's He/They status is, well, almost accidental? Which I would imagine befitting of them. They are, at the start of the game, still the mysterious rogue who never elaborates upon anything. They aren't going to be correcting a they/them from a teammate who is likely far more cautious about assumptions.

Notably, Mirabelle excludes Siffrin from the label "man" in the bathroom monologues… But as does Siffrin when in the prologue poem room. Though one needs remember, Siffrin only expresses these thoughts internally.

[Image: Bathroom conversation featuring Isabeau identified as the party's singular man]

[Image: Prologue!Siffrin expressing that they are not a man in very certain terms.]

While I do wonder what Mirabelle's knowledge (or lack thereof, potentially! Did Siffrin actually divulge this to her, once? Or is she making assumptions again?) is here, this is pretty clear evidence that Siffrin doesn't see themselves As A Man. (that, and Adrienne's word of god "fella" comments). I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this… but.

The thesis here is, that Siffrin may want to explore their gender further; doesn't feel connected to Masculinity, and yet, keeps that He pronoun around? Well, the Universe does not, in Siffrin's mind, really allow for personal wants and desires. If their friends start they/themming them, then cool. They like it, but never requested it, so it's the Universe's will. But, asking? Making decisions and requests and rocking the boat? That seems to scare Siffrin a lot. It seems to scare them so much it causes a lot of, if not all of, the conflict in the game. I feel like it's a fair deduction that this aversion to humour their own desires pervades a lot of their existence.

Plus, I think there's meat there. By only allowing Siffrin to reckon with any potential desires to change only after growing closer with the family, you get to explore things like "How does Mirabelle feel that even the person who said she didn't have to change is changing." and the slightly less potentially harrowing (OR MORE, IF YOU WANT IT TO BE? IDK. I'M NOT YOUR BOSS.) "Isa's continued changing allows Siffrin a space to explore it, maybe even just by proxy, or maybe by joining them."

But mostly, this section is about how Siffrin not having Changed Yet makes them delightfully strong narratively; allowing them to relate to Mirabelle, and get cold feet when comparing themselves to Isabeau. I love this as a narrative strengthener. It's very rare in media that we get to explore a nonbinary character's thoughts and insecurities on whether or not they're "doing enough" to be nonbinary. Even less so Aligned nonbinary people. And reading that alignment and insecurity through the lens of a nonbinary person not fully disconnected from their assigned gender at birth? It's a very compelling exploration of a very common and raw and yet underdiscussed feeling, much like the rest of ISAT. I think this is an extremely potent element should it be read this way, and is only strengthened when taking Siffrin's other themes into account.

Speaking of which.

2. SIFFRIN'S HABITS OF CLINGING TO 'KNOWN QUANTITIES', SCAPEGOATS, AND THEMES OF RACIAL IDENTITY INTERSECTING WITH GENDER IDENTITY.

HOLDING ON TO WHAT YOU KNOW. (OR KNOW THAT YOU DO NOT.)

I explained above many of my thoughts on the Universe Faith, and trying to keep these two sections separate was difficult, but needed to be done for the sake of clarity. But this section and the above are deeply intertwined.

Siffrin… Holds on to the things they know. They do not know much. But man do they fucking hold. And yet, paradoxically, they are also avoidant about it.

It is made clear in the text, to the point where I really don't feel the need to rehash it here, that Siffrin's disconnection from their homeland is incredibly painful, but that they consider that culture utterly and irreplaceably important to them. They cannot face it, it is too painful. They cannot let it go, it is too important.

Knowing what we know of the Island's irl inspirations (though, word of god, the exact location is not supposed to matter, one can infer it from the text (and I did! within reasonable proximity!)), Siffrin is of an indigenous peoples of some description, more than likely. And at the very least, Siffrin carries with them inherent biases and ignorances that show that Vaugarde's conceptions of things don't quite mesh with their own. Bowing to the Vaugardian way of things could very easily be seen as assimilation, in this way.*

And identity? Gender? Presentation? Role? All of that has a cultural element. There's no telling what specifics Siffrin has lost in that arena, and that's the problem. Neither do they. How paralysing, the feeling, to know that should you change yourself you risk unknowingly erasing another piece of home? I wouldn't blame them for locking it off. Keeping their old clothes, keeping what little they can remember of themselves… It doesn't seem to me a conducive or safe mental space to get experimental.

And the Universe makes for a perfect scapegoat. As referenced in the section above, a lot can be justified should you call it "The Universe's Will", because who's there to call you on it? Hardly anyone. Your divine right to Freeze A Place In Time; Your Deserved Punishment for Wanting to be Loved: All of it the Universe-- If you want it to be. And thusly, if the Universe wanted you to be a certain way, wouldn't you already be? Wouldn't it make you so? (Wouldn't it take away your body, that which makes you human? If that is what it thought of you?) So best to put it out of your mind. Wouldn't want to accidentally wish anything.

But as the game itself puts it, personified by The King, you cannot stay mired like this forever. As Loop themselves puts it, they can "get so fixated, sometimes." At some point they need to allow themselves to grow in whatever direction they need, because in the end, they need to live their life. They don't need to abandon their country, their culture, but they can't let it restrain them either.

(* MASSIVE CAVEAT: im white as fuck boyyy. i cant say shit. im like technically Of The Land im like 90% pictish or something ridiculous like that so my particular line has never moved anywhere but. this is notttt something i have input or insight on. this is all gleaned from reading and listening to indiginous perspectives from wherever they may be. i am simply trying to infer from what the game gives us without inserting my own feelings on the matter.)

3. SIFFRIN, LOOP, DE-PERSONING, DEHUMANISING, APATHY AND SURVIVAL.

Alright, here's some less heady and purely-thematic points to round things out. And where we'll also address the fucked up star being in the room; Loop.

My last couple of reading points are the most potentially-transfem to me. Or at least the ones that really hammer home, to me, a seeming lack of want to be masculine-aligned.

ANOTHER NOTE ON THE 'NOT A GUY' THING.

Obviously, there is the aforementioned "Not a man/not that you're a boy" thing. This is rather straightforward, but also still pretty ambiguous. You can be masc-aligned and still Not A Guy. But it does seem to be of note that being a guy very much does not seem to be a goal of Siffrin's. I would posit this in direct contrast to… Isabeau.

But not Isabeau's masculinity. I would instead hold it up against Isa's femininity.

ISAT, as a text, has its characters have genuinely different levels of security in their gender identity, and Isabeau, despite still having insecurities, seems super chill on the gender angle specifically! Their internal strife comes not from their 'not feeling like a man enough' or 'hating being a woman', but instead from their self perception as a friendless nerd! Something that seems to be only tangentially related to Isa's gender, really?

The big dumb bruiser thing is certainly aided by being a dude, but Isa still seems completely comfortable referring to themselves with feminine language, calling himself a "mother hen" (prologue) and having "the heart of a fair maiden" (cookie snack time). (However, they also take being excluded from Mira's girly book club as a surprised compliment, implying they weren't expected to be excluded, and find it affirming.) And even further so, Isa states they want to continue changing further and exploring their identity more, being rather blatant that they might lean back into femininity (and more importantly, let themselves be outwardly smart again), since they're starting to feel hurt by everyone assuming they ARE genuinely stupid.

[Image: Prologue Isa calling himself a mother hen]

And man, this is such a breath of fresh air vis a vis representation. I don't think I really need to explain that. A character who's gender identity is driven by chasing euphoria, even if it started out by trying to drive out misery. Isabeau's character is so damn good. But this essay isn't about him, so get back in the crate, boy.

... So here we have Isa, who is genuinely comfortable reclaiming things about their birth gender, and Mirabelle who loves her traditionally feminine traits to the point where she feels a little guilty that she isn't rejecting them to foster change. And then we have Siffrin… who seems to reject masculine language…? Hrm… (… And then we have The King. A Masculine Title. Someone who Siffrin increasingly sees themselves in and deeply, deeply dislikes this.)

APATHY AND SURVIVAL

It should be clear by now that I see Siffrin's core character as being driven by avoidance and survival. This seems to lead to a lot of apathy, brushing off emotions that are too intense or events and occurences that are too painful. (See: just absolutely everything with Bonnie)

It's all Siffrin really seems to be able to do to Survive. They've travelled, seemingly alone, for what would be around a decade by what the game says about the island's disappearance. They've lived alone on the road as a traveller in a country that so openly welcomes strangers that THE KING and his whole motives can happen. Siffrin is avoidant and refuses to acknowledge problems or strive for help and comfort.

So. That line about the dress. Let's unpack the line(s) about the dress.

THE DRESS LINE, AND THE WAY IT CHANGES BETWEEN PROLOGUE, ACT 2, AND ACT 3.

Good god where to start with this. Full disclosure, the first draft here was way more vague in how I approached this line because I remembered it (and another line, I'll get to it.) way more tame, but going and getting the screenshots..... Siffrin. Buddy. We gotta unpack this.

In act 2, we have "You haven't worn a dress in forever!". This is a neutral, if seemingly a little joyous statement. All we really glean from this is the information that Siffrin at some point, wore 'a' dress. No real inferences there. (Maybe you could say that the singular as opposed to plural makes it more likely that they borrowed/only owned One Dress rather than owned several? But that's a massive stretch...)

Then, act 3/4 shuffles this off into a more general "You wonder if you'll ever wear different clothes again." Which is a more despairing and distant statement. Considering Siffrin seems to travel with only the items they can carry, and owns sleep clothes... It's unclear how many changes of clothing they have. The party seems to consider the cloak a pretty permanent fixture, anyhow. But this line doesn't really say much aside from 'oh god i'm losing myself to the time loop malaise'

NOW THE PROLOGUE. Prologue Sif, buddy, pal, Loop, if I'm allowed to call you that....

Thousands of loops in. We are wistful for specifically dresses. You've forgotten almost everything. You dream about someday seeing the sun again. To be anywhere but here. You want to wear a dress again.

I. Kind of do not know what to do here but point at it. Like I said, my first draft had me half-remembering the progression of this line and as such I was far more vague on what I thought it could imply. Instead this is just straight up yearning.

To, try and segue back to what I had initially written, we'll pick up here...

Siffrin expresses a want to wear other clothes, explore changing their body... But instead, they wear a ratty old form-covering cloak that keeps them warm and safe and is a last reminder of home. They are shapeless, formless, hiding their face under the brim of a wide hat. They do not voice their desire to wear a dress aloud. They once again, keep a desire to themselves, because they do not allow themselves to want publicly. Apathy is safer. Apathy and quiet means you do not risk retribution or hurt.

While I do not think the above is exclusively a transfeminine feeling, it really, really reads like one when taken part and parcel with assuming Siffrin has denied themselves prior exploration.

... And here I have to break my first draft again. I was being, once again, restrained in my reading when writing this. Because I had convinced myself I had maybe straight up imagined one of the lines I was basing my reads on, because I couldn't find it. Because it was a line that read so strikingly desolate to me that my brain had slotted it in during Act Five, meaning when I went looking for it neither me nor my friends could find it.

It's in acts 3 and 4. It's a line I already brought up.

"You're thinking about crafting your body. You seem to have all the time in the world now."

good fucking christ. sorry to break the academic tone but Jimminy Fucking Willikers, Siffrin. What's with that bit. The resignation and despair and guilty comfort we know the timeloop brings them, bleeding into the gender.

This. *taps my finger harshly on my desk* THIS, this feels transfem. this feels so wildly transfem to me. The knowledge that they've never changed before this line lends. The admission that they've been holding back because it's 'too much work'. I spent a lot of time during the game relating Siffrin not to myself but to my friends.

If I'm honest, really, truly, I'm not all too often in Siffrin's shoes. I'm the stable one, of my group. I'm the rock people ground themselves on. And I see so much hesitance, all the time. Denial of joy because what if it's taken away, again? Or futilely out of reach? It hurts more to try, and to fail, than to never try at all.

I wanted to shake Siffrin by the shoulders this whole game. Grit teeth beg them to accept help because for fuck's sake people are clearly offering it get it through your skull--

*coughs* Ah. Ahem. Right. The uh, academic tone.

Right. What I mean to say is, this read as transfem to me because of the way it relates to real-world experiences of denial. And this combo of the Dress line, and the progression of the Meat Prison line, the constant evidence of never having strived for what they want, and that insistance that you're not a man, seem to dislike being percieved as a man, but not being able to shed the outward signifiers?

Individually, yes, these points can be read in different ways. The total opposite ways, even, I'm sure! But as a gestalt it feels really, really transfem. Even if yeah, sure Vaugarde is a magical setting where being transgender is accepted, and this hesitance, specifically, around gender, might not 'make sense' in 'the lore'...

Diegesis isn't everything. Sometimes something that reflects a real-world feeling is important, even if it doesn't 'mesh' with 'the lore' of the world.

TANGENT: DIEGESIS AND READING INTO NON-REAL-WORLD-SETTINGS.

This is a Watsonian vs Doylist spectre that's been haunting this whole argument. In-universe (Watsonian), Vaugarde has seemingly no discrimination between genders, sexualities, and a lackadaisical approach to most things in the arena. Reading our own patriarchal/heterosexual/amanonormative/perisexist society unto it does not make sense, not in this context.

In the real world, however (Doylist), ISAT is a text made in our prejudiced society. A text that is distinctly flavoured by those bigotries which it is kicking back against. Because of this, it is not the whole story to simply read the text while discarding our real-world-informed inferences. Isabeau is a big example of this. While perfectly accepted in Vaugarde, he is very obviously a revolutionary character in our real-world space! He has so much to say, specifically BECAUSE things about him that are not readily accepted here, are accepted there! Same with Mira's struggles, and yes, Siffrin's too.

ISAT was written with the knowledge of how it would play against our real world in mind, we know this, clearly, from many an interview. This is most present in how it engages with asexuality and aromanticism (and immigrant identity), but make no mistake, it influences the Whole Text.

Ergo, just because I view certain writing choices here in the context of Our Real World Perspectives On Gender and not Vaugarde's In-Universe Perspectives, it does not make them an invalid read. They are simply a Doylist read.

There's been an admittedly loosey-goosey lack of delineation here between things I'm reading with either lens, because for the most part all of these points have been a vague synthesis of both that I can't quite decouple. Unprofessional, I know, but I'll admit to not having written my thoughts down like this in a good long while. Usually I just hash this out verbally over discord voice to a small number of weirdo literature and classics student friends who are willing to humour me. I'm an arts student too, but animation hardly required I actually write an essay to a literature degree's standard. Lol.

DE-PERSONING. AND LOOP. OH JESUS . LOOP .

Siffrin de-persons themselves a lot. I say de-person rather than dehumanise because, well, there's a subtle difference there. Siffrin doesn't see themselves as vermin or an animal or an object, but they do seem to see themselves as lesser, not requiring the respect they grant others. They aren't, you know, a 'real person'.

People get to have things like thoughts and wants and identities. Siffrin is, at best, Just Siffrin. They have what they have and they don't ask for more and they don't (CAN'T) feel too strongly on what they do have!

When Loop at first offers their pronouns they offer the Royal 'We'. This is at least a little bit, a joke. A nudge toward their true identity, a potential dig at themselves for becoming so understanding of The King. Mostly though, a joke on the first thing…. and a sign that they do not see themselves as a separate entity to the Siffrin stood before them.

When Siffrin rejects this, they settle for they/them. Loop drops the he/him, presumably partially to cover their tracks, but… They just showed their hand with the 'Royal We', and if you wanted to go even further with this, there's no way for us to know whether Loop is treating this pronoun as singular or not. They presumably are, but it is still a potentially plural pronoun.

Loop… Clearly does not see themselves as a person. It's, I would say, a completely reasonable assumption that the form they have taken reflects implicit feelings toward themselves as less than a person, an actor, a monster, a tool, a means to an end. They are rendered inhuman by The Universe, frivolous distractions removed. No mouth, inventory and clothes confiscated, nothing between the legs. Formed roughly in the shape of a person to allow them to do their only job: Help.

Loop's body does not make logical sense, given their continued ability to sleep, dream and their continued habit of deep breaths to self-soothe. It would seem to me, it was made in the image it was, with only the tools it needed to Help Siffrin. Why obfuscate their identity? Because giving the game away too early would likely make them lose hope. Why so deeply, thoroughly star themed? An instant signal, that even if a stranger, they are an ally. They are home.

[Image: Loop saying that they take naps and dream, and evidence of Loop habitually attempting to breathe in the twohats lose-to-loop ending]

And they… Degender themselves. No longer with any bodily signifiers of masculinity, and cruelly disallowed the ability to hide themselves beneath fabric, they are null. The spoiler Q&A (paratext, as it were) states that:

Q. Is Loop: 1. Actually comfortable with both he and they, but only gave the one pronoun to emphasize the distance? 2. Only using they/them because a large life event led to a shift in identity/ how they’d like to be perceived? or 3. time lops stole he from they they :( A. Mostly that first one. But all three of those reasons have a bit of truth to them.

While the 'mostly the first one' comment does imply that Loop would not baulk at being he/him'd (similar to how Siffrin does not), the other reasons, especially the second, having 'a bit of truth' does lend credence to this reading. That Loop's self-perception has shifted, and what I posit, is that this shift is in tandem with a disconnection with humanity. Due, presumably, to the dehumanising experience of the timeloop.

Loop has no biology to speak of, and yet they remain blind in one eye. I take this as an implication that they considered this so core to themselves, to who they could remember being, that it stayed. Even if they had forgotten their own face, trapped in a part of the house with no mirrors, they knew they couldn't see. They kept this, and yet seemingly they, or The Universe, or both of them in tandem, discarded all else.

This isn't like…. Healthy behaviour. That is for certain. But it is interesting that Siffrin and Loop seem to hold on to their masculinity by a thread, and that Loop, when actually given the excuse to make a choice, chooses the Neutral Option. Siffrin might de-person themselves, but Loop, Loop is absolutely dehumanising themselves. From Loop's own mouth (or lack thereof) do they call themselves a Corpse. That's… pretty damn bad.

TANGENT 2: POTENTIAL IMPLICATIONS OF THE JAPANESE TRANSLATION.

Did somebody say 'distance'? Yeah turns out that has some more potential evidence. In the form of First Person Pronouns. See, English, with its third person only pronouns relies on others to gender you. Japanese, you get to gender yourself. And Siffrin specifically has an interesting discrepancy in the way he refers to himself.

(DISCLAIMER: I . DO NOT KNOW MUCH ABOUT JAPANESE. THIS IS SECOND-HAND KNOWLEDGE. SOURCED FROM THIS TUMBLR POST AND OTHER QUICK SKIMS OF WIKIPEDIA)

Loop and Siffrin use the same, very neutral "mostly male but could go either way" pronoun of 僕 boku. Safe, soft friendly pronoun. Used by people on the younger side of adulthood, not so impolite that you can't use it in a formal setting. Such a neutral all-rounder that female singers in japan tend to use boku in their songs to relate to the audience with quiet confidence.

And in their internal monologue? Siffrin uses a completely different pronoun. In his head, for himself, he uses 自分 jibun. Now, this may be an artefact of the monologue's english second-person "You", since jibun can also be used to mean a very neutral "self". A "myself/herself/himself" type 'self'. But when used as a first person pronoun, it has a connotation of being… distant, introspective. Which is… a fascinating implication, if that was the intent.

But I don't know anything about japanese so ! If I'm off the mark, discard this!

LOOP, PART 2: MAYBE NOT A GREAT STATE TO BE IN.

While Siffrin I can comfortably argue that they can like, keep their current gender presentation, whatever you may perceive it to be, once the game is over, Loop, I cannot.

Siffrin's potential issues with their identity are ones that honestly feel like they would best be explored with gentle refinement and searching. They don't need to violently seperate themselves from what they are now, far from it, in fact. They need to learn to grow comfortable in their own skin, and with the people they love. To become open and trusting, with an open mind to where it may lead.

Loop has already lost this battle. They don't get to refine anymore, just pick up the pieces. While I don't necessarily think radical change is Good for Loop, I think they may Need It. For them, resting will probably become stagnation (see: napping all day under the tree, resigned, really, to the idea they're stuck there forever.), they need a shake-up in order to re-find their feet. Even if they end up right back where they started, they still need to do the actual painful process of soul-searching first.

Problem is, they're still rather avoidant. So it basically becomes a question of getting them into a situation where this exploration is forced upon them. At which point, that's a whole new plotline. This becomes fanfiction. Hence, why while I think Transfem-Egg Loop is a Valid Read when extrapolated from Siffrin… I must concede any actual adventures into them acting upon that as headcanon territory. I just do not know how you would get them there without making a whole new Thing, at which point it stops being Just A Read of the text haha. It doesn't help that Loop and Siffrin (grudgekeepers supreme) both have reason to spite the Change God after who was phone.

As for whether this egg-read reflects directly back on to Siffrin? Maybe! They are the same person. But I think that, especially with Vaugarde's lax views, and their actual differences (Loop's general worse mania // Siffrin's incentive to stay a reminder to themselves and Loop of their country) means they could easily go two different routes, along the road to becoming their own distinct individuals. (And in all honesty, growing into their differences is probably the more healthy option in the long run if you're keeping Loop around? But again, we are going so far into the future here this is no longer a read. And I am not here to dispense baseless headcanons without massive disclaimer, so…)

Tl;Dr:

Siffrin's Survival-Apathy and hesitance to change feels really thematic to their being 'what's left' of their homeland

They seem unsettled by the flippancy of the Change Religion at times, clinging to the familiar to cope with the trauma of displacement.

Mal du pays speaks of them that they have not 'tried' to change, showing an insecurity there, even outside of the literal stagnance of the loops.

They are self assured to Mira that one does not have to change, in a very genuinely personal impulsive statement.

They and others exclude themselves from being "A Man", but Siffrin keeps desires to explore their expression to themselves.

The Universe belief, seemingly in Siffrin's view of it, disincentivises Free Will and Wants very heavily. It is not hard to assume they extend this to all elements of their life.

They have self-admittedly never pursued tangible change, likely due to this aversion to choice. Despite this, they express interest in changing, seeming nonplussed with their body, and house at least some desire for more traditionally feminine expression.

Oh Good God. Loop Sure Does Not Treat Themselves Like A Person. Why Does That Come With A Pronoun Change? What Does That Mean?

But most of all:

It makes them such a fascinating foil and lens to Change and characters who believe in it! It makes them eerily similar to The King! It opens up such fascinating debate between characters like themselves and Mirabelle, Isabeau and Loop, on whether or not they want to change in future, or if it truly is okay to never radically change yourself! What genuinely fertile ground for dialogues. And man if I'm not heavily drawn towards dialogues.

(End of essay! Congratulations for making it the whole way! 🎉 I hope this nightmarish deep dive helps with understanding some of the ways I've been writing Siffrin and Loop too. Since while I've not ever focused on the gender side of it (and probably won't in comic form) this does pervade my view of the two, since it would be impossible for it to Not. As you can see, I do think it is pretty relevant to both their themes.)

(Now for some bonus material)

ADDENDUMS:

PERSONAL BIAS NOTE:

Not included in this analysis since this is more a Pet Theme of my own (usually kept quarantined to the realms of my OCs), but something else I see in Siffrin is a reflection of the Dude Issue(tm) of patriarchal irl society disincentivisng Dudes(tm) from ever fucking introspecting ever.

I'm curious about nonbinary/trans characters who have no idea they’re nonbinary/trans because they’ve been disincentivised from thinking/doubting their identity due to societal power structures or simply tradition. I dig around the themes of “a lot of guys are trapped in a societal prison without ever knowing and it makes them miserable but they can’t escape because they don’t even see the cage” like, a lot, in my personal work. It intrigues me. So bleh, cards on the table there. That mode of interacting with nb/trans characters is one I'm inclined to.

This kinda goes hand in hand with the watsonian vs doylist situation i took an aside to mention. But it is so far along the doylist side that I didn't want to include it, since it is a little too assumptive of the text for my comfort. I don't think the game necessarily has much commentary on this specific Societal Bind. But if it does, then hey, there's my thoughts on it.

STRAY SIDE NOTES AND HEADCANONS ABOUT OTHER CHARACTERS (AS A TREAT FOR GETTING THIS FAR):

MID-GAME OBSERVATION ABOUT BONNIE AND ODILE THAT I NEVER WENT BACK TO VERIFY:

I got the impression that Bonnie heavily favours they/them pronouns for Siffrin, and Odile he/him, as a bit of presumed character voice. I don't know that I am right, literally at all, in that observation, because it very well could've been confirmation bias.

BUT! It did give me the impression that one of the things Bonnie was idolising about Siffrin was a degree of "wow!! older person with my gender!! wow!!", which is just like, cute. I like it even if I don't have any solid evidence.

ODILE, WHAT'S HER DEAL?:

Oh she stays just as mysterious as she intends to be, huh? Even with her comments in the Changing Room alluding to knowing things about underground changing operations, you can't draw much of a conclusion about her. I appreciate verily that she's word-of-god unlabelled and also poly. That shit's great. Woman who has stopped drawing lines or caring what she's up against. Nice characterisation flavour I think.

Anyway, I do think that transfem Odile is a really, really nice take. I have no evidence in either direction for her in either direction, and her being a woman of any description makes her relationship with her absent mother something interesting to chew on, but the idea that she pursued womanhood intentionally lends an interesting texture. I've not much to say, but it's a thread to pull on. Makes you wonder what other female role models she had in her life instead. Anyway she's mysterious as fuck I can't extrapolate Jack nor Squat. Shrug! I'm also made curious by the idea of her potentially moving away from womanhood as she feels the weight of her history lifted. This goes either way, really. Diagnosis: mysterious.

HEADCANON NOTE: INTERSEX SIFFRIN

I don't have any in-text support for this so this entire thing is an unbased headcanon to me. but i DO like it because 1. fun and 2. potential for more thematic exploration

haha gotcha its fuckin themes again. its always themes with me.

But yeah. Not much to say here besides drawing a parallel (that I believe I've seen drawn elsewhere in the fandom already?) between ISAT's comments on how a society that values change would view Aroace identities, and how Mira feels about not wanting to change with the real world experiences of Intersex people having alteration and conformity forced upon them, saying the Change Belief would likely be just as bad for them as it is for aroace people.

So, adding it to Siffrin's situation further drags them into the opposition-to-change foil role. Which like I said, think has a lot to explore.

HEADCANON NOTE: A POTENTIAL METHOD FOR GETTING LOOP OUT OF THEIR GOD DAMNED COMFORT ZONE

I think utilising Loop's contrarianism is an effective and funny way to get them to explore their gender. I personally think running with them trying to hide their identity from the party is a hilarious way to do it. Having them try to position themselves in direct opposition to Siffrin to "throw the party off their trail" (not that i think they really need to?), going full feminine-revealing-clothing because it's NOT what a Siffrin would do and accidentally growing accustomed to it. Funny to me. Especially when the party eventually do find out who they are and go . "????? what was the girl stuff about ??? is that something you wanna do now ???".

[Isabeau] "Ohhhh it was a bit! Haha you really are Sif, still a jokester!" [Loop] "HAHA YEAH . JOKES. LOVE THOSE. LOVE TO MAKE JOKES!" [Isabeau] "Yep! Anyway. Tell me if you need anything!"

Bonus bonus:

[Siffrin] "Okay, so, if you're a girl. Does this reflect on like… me?" [Loop] "No doubles. Get your own gender, parasite~!"

#oh my god this is like 6k words what happened. well you can't say my claims are unsubstantiated i guess.#lucabytetalks #fuck dude i sure do !!!!#i have to assume a lot of other people picked up on exactly what i did too but i dont read other peoples meta very often so !!#i am simply shaking hands with anyone else who came to this conclusion. hi. sometimes its just fun to construct a small essay i guess #i have like no goal putting this out here other than like. For The Sport of Writing Out Media Analysis. so if it makes anything click #in peoples minds or actually sells them on this reading then that's just a bonus i suppose #in stars and time #isat analysis #isat meta #isat siffrin #isat loop #isat spoilers #2hats spoilers #lucabytewrites #welp. no idea what else to tag this. be free and into the wild my gigantic ass post.#is some of this redundant? probably! but cmon man its a tumblr essay i can't format it perfectly. sometimes points get repeated #anyway this post is lagging out my tumblr drafts now i have to post it oh god oh christ i hope nothing goes wrong #edit: i forgot i made the lucabytewrites tag a while back for purrgatorio this can go in there too

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necrotic-nephilim · 3 months ago

Note

ok ok but jayroytim😏

this feels especially funny if brudick happens in the background and oliver hates the fact he's now in-laws with bruce

so i have to regretfully admit i'm not really a fan of JayRoy, or at least i'm not a fan of the popular version of JayRoy. i think JayRoy could work and would be a lot of fun! but i have *zero* interest in New-52!JayRoy (or New-52!Roy in general) or rlly any version of Jason and Roy on the Outlaws together. both bc i'm a pre-Flashpoint stan at heart. usually i can stand newer content for ship fodder but for these two oh man it grinds my gears how badly Roy got fucked over-

BUT BUT. that doesn't mean i think the ship has *no* merit. because Jason and Roy *do* have some fodder in pre-Flashpoint. they meet briefly when Jason is Robin, and then again when Jason is Red Hood during that Outsiders arc where Black Lightning is in prison. so! there's definitely material to work with. especially playing into the more fucked up nature of Roy knowing Jason when he was Robin. i think it's cute if Jason had a childhood crush on Roy. and maybe Roy even thought Jason was kind of cute, a spunky kid with a lot of energy and passion. then with Jason as Red Hood, Roy openly doesn't trust him and doesn't like that they're working with him. Jason is just a run-of-the-mill villain with a nasty kill count. and sure, Roy's got a record of tangling with people more on the villain side of things, but even going near the Red Hood feels like a step too far.

adding Tim to the mix is really fun. bc honestly it gives Roy some kind of a fetish for guys who have been Robin and i find that to be delightful. like, even if Roy just sees Jason as the Red Hood, he can't *quite* let go of the image of Jason as Robin. like it just won't get out of Roy's system ever since Jason came back. i think, if i were to write these three together, i'd have Roy and Tim get together first of all people, just because Roy is trying really hard to stop thinking about Jason as Robin, especially now that Jason is older and a little meaner. he's full of guilt about it, and he can't talk to Dick because he's still not sure where Dick's feelings fall about the whole Jason thing so. he goes to Tim instead, thinking if he fucks a different Robin, maybe he'll get it out of his system. Tim's pretty and he's just old enough that it's not *too* morally questionable for Roy to seek him out. it takes a while for Roy to work up the nerves because he and Tim aren't particularly close, so how do you even approach that conversation to make it look organic. it's awkward and Tim can definitely tell something is up but hey, who's going to say no to Roy Harper offering sex? one of Dick's best friends? especially if we put this right after Kon and Bart's death where Tim is just. sort of lonely and seeking companionship. in some ways,, Roy would remind him of Kon, just a little. that sort of cocky attitude and snarky smile.

i would add Jason in by having JayTim happen alongside RoyTim. it's not like Roy and Tim are serious enough to be exclusive and Tim knows Roy is sleeping around, so Tim ends up in a weird hatefucking situation with Jason, which definitely was not supposed to happen. Jason just has a damning way of getting under Tim's skin and won't stop bothering Tim until he gets some kind of attention from Tim. and somehow Jason is interesting enough for Tim to cave. and he doesn't even think about the two relationships he's balancing until he happens to sleep with Jason after being with Roy the night before and there are still marks all over him and Jason does *not* like sharing. so when he interrogates Tim and gets nothing, he does the reasonable thing of stalking Tim to figure out who it is. and it just happens to be the guy Jason had a crush on as a kid.

i think Roy finding out he tried so hard to avoid Jason that he accidentally ended up with the same fuck buddy as Jason would be the funniest thing in the world. like it's not something he can run from anymore and he has to accept that. he tries to awkwardly ask what Tim even sees in the guy bc well, Jason's a killer and not known for being mentally stable. but he's also the guy who exonerated Black Lightning with no real motive besides just helping out. he's complicated and Roy doesn't know how to react. Tim just sort of shrugs bc how do you even explain Jason Todd and well, one thing leads to another and Tim ends up in the middle of the most emotionally charged threesome he's ever been in. love the idea of Jason and Roy using Tim as a toy while they work out their feelings for each other. to me that's the peak dynamic. Jason and Roy are pissed about liking each other and somehow, Tim got roped into things. their relationship is not healthy or normal whatsoever, but somehow, they end up balancing each other out nicely.

background BruDick is also hilarious tho. bc there is no one who hates Bruce more than Oliver and he'd be so annoyed that not only did Roy get tangled up with the Bats, but now everything is so weird their families are pretty tangled together and Oliver has to deal with Bruce a lot more than he wants to. and he's glaring daggers about it the whole time.

#necrotic answerings #jayroytim #jayroy #jaytim #roytim #brudick #i know melody-atlas has some great jayroytim stuff!!#and like to be clear i like the idea of jayroy.#i just don't like outlaws or red hood/arsenal. or any canon where roy is in a ten mile radius of jason except that outsiders arc #for me jayroy is fun bc of the fucked up angle of roy knowing jason as robin #but since most jayroy content is catered to new-52 characterizations i have a neutral leaning negative opinion on it #but that is *not* your fault anon this is a fun ship i totally get it!#i just don't think i'll ever write or read jayroy #so if anyone else wants to use this idea. feel free it's up for adoption idc #this shit has a “free” sign and is sitting on the side of my road for you to come pick up #the idea is super fun and i'm mildly tempted by it but yeah just not for me #but sometimes that's the fun! brainstorming for ships you don't ship bc you get to think outside the box #like shipping is just silly fun vibes and this was fun to think about how i would do this ship #bc it's a fun lil challenge #there are plenty of things i don't ship but i *could* enjoy if written write and that's where jayroy falls for me #usually not for me but the perfect fic could absolutely convert me

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bluebird8683 · 15 days ago

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RR is dead, Tim is not

Tim Drake stood on the rooftop of an abandoned high-rise, the wind pulling at his cape like it was trying to hold him back, as though Gotham itself were begging him to reconsider. He would miss this—the only home he had ever known. The city stretched out beneath him, its ceaseless hum a bittersweet symphony, a reminder of all the people who probably wouldn’t miss him, not really. And yet, the wind seemed almost alive, whispering doubts, pleading with him to stay, even as he remained steadfast in his decision.

They’d mourn Red Robin, perhaps. Maybe even Tim Drake, for a fleeting moment. (Tam is the only one he truly feels bad about leaving behind, but she has a life outside of him, friends who care about her. She'll be ok.) But eventually, they’d move on, the way Gotham always did. Would the family even notice his absence? A part of him whispered they might be better off without him. That they’d be happier, lighter, without the weight of someone they never seemed to truly see.

He’d made sure of it.

Tim looked down at the blood pooling on the cracked concrete, dark and glistening under the cold moonlight. The crimson trail spidered out across the rooftop, a macabre work of art he had painted with his own blood, painstakingly collected over weeks to ensure authenticity. Almost hiding the faint scent of ozone in the air from the rainstorm earlier today, the scent of iron, or blood, hung heavy in the air. The scene in front of him is a gruesome sight- one he purposely staged to be that way, but horrid all the same. The manikin he painstakingly ensured looked exactly like him (down to not having a spleen and that paper-cut he got earlier today in the office) was one that he had grown and made explicitly for this. It never breathed in life, but he had made sure all the muscles showed all the wear and tear his muscles likely had.

He arranged it to be crumpled near the roof entrance of the building, its fingers splayed unnaturally, some twisted and broken as though his attacker had tried to torture something out of him that he refused to give. One shoulder was visibly dislocated, the other broken in such a way that his bone was sticking out of his skin. The left leg bent as if he had somehow gained a second knee. The neck bore the telltale bruising of strangulation, the skin mottled with dark purples, a haunting testament to his fabricated final moments. (Though there is bruising elsewhere on the body, the ones on his neck were the darkest.)

The area around the manikin was a tableau of chaos: broken bits of his bo staff scattered like splinters of a shattered life, and tears in the suit—carefully slashed to match the grotesque injuries—added the final touch of authenticity along with the extra blood he had collected from himself in advance pooling and being poured from specific spots. He doubted anyone would be able to tell that he was still alive after seeing this. No one but him would ever see this as what it was, a staged exit. They might call it a tragedy (if they're feeling generous) or a lost fight. They would call it the curtain call of his life, but all it truly was is the end of Act I.

The stage was perfect. (Thinking of this all as a play had made him feel better about it, thinking of the clone as a manikin as he removed the spleen and injured it, as he put together the murder scene...)

Tim’s gaze swept over the rooftop one last time, cataloging every detail. The smear and drops of blood around the roof, the broken bits of his bo staff lying near the body covered in wounds, the com he placed in its ear. The entire scene screamed tragedy—a hero ambushed, overpowered, and left lifeless on a cold rooftop, the final act of violence etched around his neck in a black bruise.

It had to be convincing. It had to be enough to fool Bruce, Dick, Damian, and even Barbara. Tim could imagine the triumphant sneer on Damien's face, the satisfaction of no longer sharing the Robin title in any form. And Jason… Jason might raise a beer, toasting the end of the “replacement.” The thought hurt. (Thoughts of how they viewed him always did- it's why he tries not to let his mind wander... not that he can really do that- but that's part of the reason that he's doing this.) He’d run through every possibility, refining his plan with several contingencies he can switch to at a moment's notice. That was what he did. That was who he was. (Something that Bruce trained into him.)

His fingers trembled as he adjusted the position of the manikin’s arm one last time. Not from fear or regret—those emotions had burned out weeks ago. This was the final piece of a puzzle he’d been building for months. (He left a nice little case for the detective family to follow, if they decide to investigate his demise. All the leads would turn cold though, of course.) He should feel relief, maybe even triumph, but all he felt was a bone-deep exhaustion.

“This is it,” he muttered under his breath, his voice barely audible over the gusts of wind.

He stepped back, letting the scene burn into his memory. For a moment, he allowed himself to imagine what would happen next. The news would break—Red Robin, dead in the line of duty. (He knew his body would be discovered in the morning- the owner of the building liked to come up for a smoke every morning before going to work.)

The family might grieve, or maybe they wouldn’t. Tim wasn’t sure anymore. Would they even miss him, or would they be better off without him? Maybe they’d even be happier. Bruce would brood, sure, throwing himself into the case until he found just enough to close it. Damian, though, might sneer, claiming he saw it coming. Dick… Dick might actually cry. But eventually, they’d move on. They always did. After all, it had been months since any of them had really talked. How could they miss someone they never cared to know?

But eventually, they’d move on. They’d forget. It's not like it'll change much.

Tim swallowed hard, forcing the lump in his throat back down where it belonged. This wasn’t about them. This was about him. A chance to finally breathe without the crushing weight of their expectations, their demands, their indifference. All this without even a courtesy "thanks." He’d spent so long loving them, sacrificing his sleep, his time, his social life for them, and all it had earned him was emptiness. Exploitation masquerading as family.

He's had enough.

He turned away from the body, moving to the edge of the rooftop. His new gear was already packed, hidden in a secure location outside Gotham. His offshore accounts were loaded, his new identity (and several back-ups) painstakingly crafted. Every system he’d set up—from the programs helping Gotham’s homeless to the automated responses at WE—would run smoothly without him. He’d made sure of it. Everything major will be fine without him. They’ll be fine without him.

Tim took a deep breath, letting the cold air fill his lungs. His heart pounded in his chest, adrenaline coursing through his veins. This was it. The last goodbye.

He turned on the device that would hide his heartbeat from anyone with advanced hearing, stepped off the ledge and disappeared into the shadows, leaving behind all he had ever known, the fractured remnants of his life, and the only city he had ever called home.

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lemongogo · 2 months ago

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oo u want 2 draw soo bad..

#i hate that my ability to draw is so conditional #its soo frustrating but i dont know how to break it. this has been the one thing thats never changed.ill never be free #times like rn i just do studies but its soo fking BORINGGG euuhh...#but if i try 2 draw something for funsies i just stare at the blank canvas. literally immobile. & u know how people r like just draw #something anyways. a line. something. and its like no i cant do that oi cant even do that u underestimate my freak #i want 2attack myself from the pov of someone else #i think im having the realization tht i will never be able to do art stuff frls and its driving me crazy i think.#like im actually sick and unwell frm the thought of it.my friend commissioned me and im ab 2 send the money back #after two weeks bc i cant do it im literally frozen dude.i want 2 cry and die and explode into a million pieces #wait im back to add more.idk if anyone feels the same way but its like. i know its entirely a Me issue its a mental block issue #theres something thats not connecting in my head but its like.why is it so easy for everyone else ykwim...and thats a lie too right #like everyone else struggles w art and its not.it cant exist Without you struggling and practicing hard and trusting yourself #but in my brain im just convinced that like.i cant do this i cant do this like everyone else can do it like second nature and it freaks me #tf out #but also its the one thing i want to do more than anything else in my life and so like if i cant do it i dont know what to do.ughh.#not me freaking the fuck out rn lawl.lols.even #and on top of it i feel like i cant express myself well and i think my friend. < SOOO awesome and well meaning and NICE and legitimately #pushing me to try and believe that i can do this stuff but i feel like they wont understand the sort of like.mental block im struggling wit #like its less that i hate my art or something i dont its more like.i just feel soo physically restrained and incapable of doing it.suddenly #i cant think and i cant do anything.i have no creativity i have no ideas my mind is quite literally blank and empty

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the-girl-with-too-many-ideas · 8 months ago

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Does anyone else get the feeling that at their core, all of mxtx's works are about cycles of abuses.

#idea dump #ramblings of a sleep deprived girl #heaven official's blessing #tian guan ci fu #scum villian self saving system #mao dao zu shi #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #mxtx #mo xiang tong xiu #cycle of abuse #I don't only mean the passing down of trauma #I also mean the abuses of an established corrupt system #that systematically hurts people that are less fortunate than those who actively benefit from it #to me this one is more prevalent in mdzs and why jin guangyao downfall is so upsetting to me #because he was coming close to breaking the cycle of abuse of both the system and of his family #but unfortunately it was his past actions in service of perpetuating it that doomed him #if he had realized a lot sooner that his father was not worth it #and started pursuing his own interests from the beginning instead of his father's approval he could have changed everything for the better #not to mention that unlike his father he actually treats his spouse with respect and doesn't intentionally hurt her #emphasis on the 'intentional' part (if you know you know)#just like Jin Guangyao became the new wei wuxian Nie Huaisang became the new Jin Guangyao #so i'm of the firm belief that since the system is still in place the cycle will repeat again #and Nie Huaisang will replace Wei Wuxian as someone else becomes his Jin Guangyao #sorry for this long ass essay in the tags lol #it's 3am so I'll probably do the other two another time #also let it be known that I'm only running on spoilers/fanfictions/wiki when it comes to svsss and mdzs #so if anyone bothers to read my essay tags be free to correct anything if I get something wrong #side note why wasn't mdzs about breaking cycles???#why didn't yanli become sect leader. Jiang cheng remain coreless. or Jin Zixuan marry into the Jiangs to show worth outside the norms #you can be a strong woman without being cruel. cultivation doesn't equal worth. and powerful women are beautiful and should be respected

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fluffypotatey · 5 months ago

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Hopefully the Twister fandom grows for the sake of more people able to understand the fics you're writing because I love your stuff but I'm missing all the subjective love a fan of the series would have

same! both the 1996 and 2024 movies are so much fun and deserve all the love and fics and fanart and gifs

like it was only until last week I think since Twisters got an official tag on ao3 (which is just a combo between toy and a twister 1996 but still!!! huge props to all the fic writers contributing to the fandom) and i have found that the Jake “Hangman” Seresin & Tyler Owens (Twisters) tag is common enough to be included when typing for the relationship tag so 👀 we are definitely getting there!

#also thank you <33333 #i’m so glad you like my stuff 🥰#like the crossover i have for twisters rn is niche and is mostly bc both have Glen Powel lol #but i do wanna write some ot3 stuff for twisters #like the rivalry between Tyler and Javi before Kate joins their little drama #i read one fic that was all just comments on social media and this is a medium i crave to write in for fiction #like imagine the twitter discourse between storm par and the wrangler fandom #you’ll have accounts of people meeting Javi and his team where some ppl say they are nice or too snobby #and then the ppl meeting the Wranglers pre and post a tornado hits #maybe even a journey with Ben’s articles and how we see his attention shift to weather -> to the increase of storms-> to Tornado Alley #like my brain is firing over ideas and anyone else if free to use these #I’ll write my own version but it would be fun to read other ppl’s interpretations #asks #twisters #twisters 2024

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manasurge · 6 months ago

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1/3 of the way done of this last page, then I can finally post it all o|-<

#blabbering #idk who even cares or knows what I'm talking about; but I just wanna talk about what's on my mind somewhere; even if it's to no one #I just haven't had much confidence in art or gaming prowess lately; but I'm still trying #I mean I haven't had much to begin with; but it's just tanked worse lately bc I'm probably just burnt out from work and need a break #I just wanna do fun stuff with friends; but I'm constantly plagued with conflicting schedules (aka the quintessential adult experience lol)#but at least after I'm done this thing I meant to do simply and quickly (but wound up taking way longer than I thought) I'll be happy #i just can't make myself really do anything else until it was done bc it would keep looming over my head and I need it done for reasons #at least tomorrow is a nice short day in the timeframe I like; so I'll be in higher spirits #lol sorry I've been complaining so much lately alskjdflsf. I just don't have anyone to talk to about random stuff on my mind lakjdlf #anywho bed time and then short shift and then FREE FOR THE WEEKEND + Friday :catjam:#also I think I have seasonal allergies again (no idea what from lol)#and i also stubbed my toe multiple times last week and it's still a bit swollen and hurts to put pressure on one part (bone bruise maybe)#my life is an exciting adventure that's for sure (I guess yesterday absolutely counts for negating my sarcasm here lmao whoops)

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unproduciblesmackdown · 2 months ago

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among the boundless billions zaniness like laugh track as it definitely has that moment of expressing "rolling my eyes as The Left makes a kerfuffle of Acting like they have a stance as a veneer over the true belief that [xyz] is cool & chill actually" like what, approximate 0.000% chance wendy isn't, as usual, given the Objective Stance of "yeah yeah ohh we are cancelling involved parties talking about how we Don't watch this But. we all love this damn epic movie & already have it memorized so shut the fuck up, kids today" like. don't wanna really delve into how much billions thinks taylor or anyone is "really" trans / nonbinary like not too much benefit of the doubt in this material including what does provide info abt that specifically

& the general like [head in hands. what do you think any of this could possibly be about (you're the one that made your show at all about Power)] of "yes, it's bad/wrong to be someone that someone has done something to / victim of something" like that to be anti misogyny All Women Must Be Epic Winners b/c there's something to be proved: that they don't Deserve to be victims (of misogyny), not taken as a Given. while when we see some epic winner men stepping on other men (who need not all be guaranteed Winners so as to say misogyny is wrong), that's often Good, well beyond any assumption that various forms of basic disrespect / violation / patterns of emergent/entrenched power difference as Bad (for being things done to people, not for there being people they're being done to), & generally billions has to take an extra step when ppl get shitted on & tell us the Specific Cases when it was undeserved actually & someone was being mean to a specific person who didn't deserve that. & the specific cases when hey guess it wasn't that bad(tm) or when hey It's Okay that you're someone something was done to, in this case. & tell us what we were supposed to know all along like when someone who something was being done to (wrong Of Them, whether b/c they inherently deserve it no matter what, &/or b/c they failed to be someone who could make it Impossible to do anything to them, which, how do you do that besides being The Authority / Superior yourself, exactly? nonrhetorically? what if the in group vs out group / fascism / authoritarianism protected Me?) was actually being treated Too Well b/c ah well the abuse meant you were getting any attention, maybe it meant you were claimed as any superior's property, maybe it meant you weren't Already disposed of, as all Losers were in the end, You're Welcome.

obviously referring to winston where it's spelled out all the abuse towards him was deserved, & More than he deserved in the case of rian having more access & taking advantage of that, all for billions' enjoying its own sendoff there of, again, maximizing violation & violence short of [real violence is physical & leaves bruises / draws blood / Literally kills] which would be distasteful in general But doesn't it make wags look like the winner & winston the loser is that the former's completely unrelated completely impersonal ego blow gets way amplified taken out on winston, the most vulnerable recurring character when spyros as [first & ultimate Everyone Hates Him role] is more entrenched in there & billions still magnanimously pities tuk, as it does winston too, just not quite as much. again that like completely surface level realized power fantasy of forcing the mirror up to the Inferior so they're like nooo my inferiorityyyy & in doing so like, the projection in that lmao, we get it re: the valuing of & need(tm) for such Power Tripping & Reaffirming My Superiority & My Ego Restored; Everyone Claps like good god. & then for all ben & tuk are the slightly softer Two Too Nice Boys duo to the rian & winston quant duo, also like too nice i guess but not as much, ben is in charge of tuk but Any instance of rian being in charge of winston outstrips them in that "yay interpersonal abuse" dynamic, like then in the end billions may be like "yeah it's possible to be mean to them unlike how being mean to winston is actually Nice b/c he deserves everything he gets, we only vicariously enjoy it vs Feeling Bad for tuk & ben sometimes (still magnanimously & it's Not That Bad / just goofin)" like ben & tuk still Fail by not being people it's impossible to do anything to. & not Exceptions who anyone is really being Too Mean to. like if they were women, in which case, no problem surely with a "positive" kind of victim blaming where there is something Inherent that Will be victimized so hey how about to cancel that out there's this special Paternal Protection you Need always, Or Else? :) but instead they are men who are asian & is ben gay & w/tuk & winston nobody mentions glasses or fatness but billions doesn't really do much or very in depth textual mentioning of Anything, even w/nonzero mention that there may be gender & race in this world. a gay man, once. no disability. we just Know who are the inferiors who deserve it when they're treated inferiorly, or if they don't, they start deserving it when they fail to stop/avoid it, but if you start mentioning the factors behind who we all totally agree is inferior like whoa nobody was Saying any of that? being the real agent of oppression on the basis of the factors only You spelled out, much? nonbinary? i never say anything about the Gender Binary when i'm subscribing to it, sounds like You've created & enforced it. obfuscation & deflection onto [so Just Normal nobody has to label, explain, or argue it] couldn't serve a purpose & protect the existing power differences as they are. maybe You're the problem? perhaps you brought it upon yourself & now you're causing too much trouble standing up for yourself while everyone else's criticism is laser focused on you as the prior & continuing negative actions done to you are taken as a given / unquestioned / covertly protected to overtly encouraged?

anyway so wild if the Completely Normal(tm) Victim Blaming is uncritically recreated & oft embraced for "if you're watching this & don't wish you were axe / find him appealing" [billions as a sequence of vicarious power trips] purposes in this series....but a bit wild considering like this is your multiseason show that wasn't just purporting to be those power trips for [enough demographic & apparently specific personal tastes overlap w/creators] & was at all purporting to question the matters of power at play in the material, or yknow, at least to not be completely superficial material while said material is textually & thematically all about power difference being leveraged, how, the consequences, & so on. thus i will have to intermittently talk about it forever like this like lord unbelievable. & the funny little & sometimes less funny less little characters it has trapped in there so that those of us who were never meant to be in the audience can be cursed with this knowledge. like i have some feedback. "imagine not victim blaming" & "imagine adjusting your perspective can go beyond superficial layers added to politely defer to some other ppl while they're present but really like cmon do they deserve that. am i not just saying what we're allll thinking"

#another random night another Verbal Effusion of [forehead to hand]#winston billions #who needs actual questions about power or the consequences of getting to consider others Lessers & acting accordingly #when we can last minute be like uh wendy is god actually. take it away wendy (wait she just does whole other shit half the season)#okay Now take it away wendy i guess b/c the series is dead set on you being the Moral Center #if mostly b/c gosh everyone either loves owning you as pseudo wife or correctly recognizes & defers to your superiority #the scene i couldn't bear to sit through at the start of s7 way too long sequence of wendy Going To Work to the ''cuz im awesome'' song #i was like. lol. i was like okay that is wendy's mood / perspective then. Wrong. it was billions conveying Fact to the audience. rip #abt as great setup for ''the only other shoe that finally dropped was that of Yeah It's This Completely Surface Level'' as possible (:#prince has exactly the same attitudes & actions as wendy does? uh well you see. it's just bad when he does it #if only more wendys were in charge. if only we go ''well even if it's bad if wendy does it? or axe or whoever? Could Be Worse''#nothing to analyze in the [but at least it's not worse] dead end re: justification of Power Leveraging & minimization of its consequences #tl;dr just the victim blaming embraced everywhere & the idea that everything that Deviates from the Norm Too Ethically Mindedly #is just that veneer slapped on overtop of [haha but truly: the norm] like no but seriously we all know It's Not That Deep(tm)#even for the characters written to exercise this [my Extra Mile Ethics] trait regularly it's expressed as this Polite Addendum #to the [what's Really at play] normal. the And Enbies tacked on; that's that on that & it Is an extra veneer to the norm #prince asking if taylor's changing up their pronouns; no more Meant a red flag than him immediately shitting on winston i'm sure #yet yknow why tf suppose taylor more than anyone else would Change Pronouns. taylor who the series also only ever shows as being #misgendered As A Woman. whose drag / cisguise As A Woman is not treated in the same way a man's would be / is #whose emotive / expressive affect isn't either. billions like [the genders are m/f] to [perhaps also amab/afab] Tacked On #as something politely Extra you do to their face that doesn't actually change (threaten) your idea of what's just Normal & True #like it's normal & true that ugh god don't you hate the autistic people around you? don't you wish you could go sicko mode on them #so that they couldn't be around you anymore & they'd have brought it upon themself & really it was good of you b/c The Group Cohesion #thanks you & b/c you just gave them free ABA? yes yep Surely Unquestionably #problem isn't abuse & concomitant violation in & of itself. it's Bad to be someone that's done to. we will announce Exceptions #rest of you either you brought it upon yourself or you failed to Correct that you're not someone who inherently deserves it #that is: someone who just can & will Stop It if done to them. well so you see winston pushing back is ignored or treated to further #backlash & then he withdraws (expression of his experience / creation of a consequence which tells the other Stop Doing This)#&/or otherwise conveys displeasure / being hurt (same as before. ''uh well push back / express xyz'' ppl did & were steamrolled/ignored)

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