#but anyone else is free to do so if they like the idea

[meelusinee]

A WHIMSICAL DEAL ✩ T.N NOTT X READER

in which theodore meets you at a Slytherin party and can’t get you out of his head

pairing: theodore nott x whimsical!reader

word count: 1.6k

warnings: none!

author’s note: double post day today!!! major note here is that the formatting is just a wee bit different because i will be publishing this from my phone rather than my laptop like i usually do. it died and i left the charger at a friend’s house, but i shall be back up and running to my full aesthetics and work by tomorrow morning! other than that, enjoy!

A WHIMSICAL DEAL | THEODORE NOTT X READER

Theodore hasn’t set up a Slytherin party in almost a month because of exams.

That was something that had to change.

He and Mattheo had snuck into Honeydukes through the Hidden Eye passage, The barrel was hard to lift, but easy to sneak into the dorms under a simple Illusion Charm.

The tables were hidden in a small hole in the wall Lorenzo made, his expertise in bartending coming in handy as he set up a minibar for the party. No free drinks would ever pass under his eye, not unless either him or his friends wanted a good lay-in for the night.

For the most part, it was Slytherins at this party. Either that, or houses that were in the know.

Luna Lovegood was the most recent addition to the Slytherin’s main party squad. Ever since her and Blaise began dating, she started to visit the parties more and more to help set up and clean. While Mattheo and Theo weren’t so sure about it at first, the drink combinations she ended up making had gotten at least 20 more party-goers.

One of them being you.

Theodore had noticed you almost as soon as you entered the Common Room. You had a certain aura about you that he just couldn’t not notice, elegance he had never seen in anyone else he ever met in his life.

He had almost dropped his drink right then and there, quickly regaining his composure as he approached you. Enzo was going to have a field day with him. “Can I get you a drink, lovely?”

“A drink?” you giggled softly, hand resting on your hip. You looked so magical within the Slytherin lighting, something almost ethereal or radiant shining off of you. “I believe that you have Whorpflasters whispering in your ears.”

“Whorpflasters?” Theo asked incredulously, voice coming out more nervous than he intended.

“Yes, Whorpflasters!” you repeated, nodding slowly. “They’re very rude. Usually they whisper insecurities in your mind, especially around settings you’re not particularly comfortable with. Are you okay with being at this part?”

“Uh,” he whispered, a small blush creeping on his face. “Yeah, I’m good here.”

“Perhaps it’s exams.” you nodded, patting his head. “I think that you passed them with flying colors, if the Querbs following you are any tell.”

Theo nodded incredulously at that, watching you smile that whimsical smile before you walked off to get a drink. Enzo had winked at him when he saw you walking over, pointing his head to Blaise and Luna standing over his shoulder.

“Theodore, hello!” Luna said to him. She had whimsy about her too, though it just wasn’t the same as yours. Nothing he could think of seemed to compare to you.

“Hey there Luna.” he nodded, swallowing a bit of his drink before looking back at you.

“Have you met Y/N?” Luna asked, waving to Blaise as he walked off to talk to Mattheo and Draco.

“Uh,” he whispered, staring at you before looking back. “Yeah, yeah I met her. She said that I have Whorpflasters in my ear from exams, and Querbs following me around.”

“Well, do you?” Luna asked, her head leaning back and forth as she seemingly examined him.

“I have no idea what Querbs even are.” Theo whispered, hopelessly looking back at you again. You were standing at the end of the bar waiting for your drink, completely out of place yet fitting in all at the same time.

“They’re spirits attracted to intelligence.” Luna said to him simply, taking a small sip of her drink. “Though it seems that you’re also being visited by their cousins, Uerbs. Rather recently too.”

“The difference being?” Theo asked, looking at Luna incredulously.

“They follow people who have fallen in love.” Luna smiled, raising her glass slightly before walking over to where you were standing at the bar.

Theo was screwed.

“Luna said that you wanted to talk to me.”

Theo turned around as soon as he heard your voice, blinking in confusion when he saw you.

The both of you were currently in the library, Theo standing by one of the windows while he waited for Blaise. Blaise, who was supposedly meant to be meeting him for a small party reconstruction.

He quickly realized that this meeting was not about party reconstruction. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t take advantage of it though.

“Oh,” he muttered, clearing his throat. “Yeah, I wanted to ask you about Querbs.”

“Oh, Querbs!” you said, clasping your hands together. “Yes, they’re creatures from intelligence. They’re said to come from Phoenixes, their ashes are full of life and often produce a spark of it. It’s very miniscule and hard to detect, especially with the increasing levels of Phoenix endangerment.”

“That sounds very dangerous.” Theo agreed, subconsciously pulling a chair out for you before sitting down himself. “Why is that?”

“Well, that’s because of their feathers.” you explained to him. “Poachers love the fire they create, oftentimes a small lint from the feather can be used in extremely dangerous bombs. Two single feathers could blow up half of Hogwarts if the bomb is made correctly.”

“That’s,” he paused. “Really powerful.”

“Very much so.” you nodded. “Querbs come from those small sparks that feather lints leave. Of course, there’s also Uerbs. And then there are Xuerbs, but those are rare.”

He had heard about Uerbs, and quite frankly did not want to approach that topic. “What are Xuerbs?”

“They’re like baby Dementors in a sende.” you hummed. “Like Whorpflasters, but worse.”

“That doesn’t sound pleasant,” he said. “Is it?”

“No.” you shook your head. “But, there are much more pleasant creatures out there. Liborati are rather unique, they feel off of herbal plants in a way that is often rather good for them.”

Theo smiled softly as you explained how Liborati helped plants develop magical energy, and eventually went into more details about Querbs. He watched as you pulled out small books and read him passages, clearly very enthusiastic to explain this all to someone.

Theo questioned whether anyone else had ever bothered to listen, though he felt his brain short-circuit the moment your hand met his.

Maybe Uerbs weren’t so bad after all.

Theo and Luna currently were at the linrary together, both of them having been sent on a mission to get snacks for a sick Blaise. Why Theo was invited, he wasn’t sure.

“How are you and Y/N coming along?”

Now he was sure.

“What exactly is meant to be coming along between us?” Theo asked curiously, his hands in his pockets as he walked.

It had only been a week since he met you at the party, but he had already fallen head over heels. It was absolutely impossible to hide from anyone who truly knew him, especially since he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you.

No matter where he went, he couldn’t not think of you. Drinking, partying, sleeping, or doing schoolwork, you were always there on his mind. Sometimes he’d pretend that he was talking to you in order to keep himself sane, repeating your ramble on Uerbs and Querbs and Whorpflasters in his mind for hours at a time.

Even still, he hadn’t particularly asked you anything. Just about things you liked.

“You have more Uerbs developing by the second whenever you hang out with her, I found an infestation of them near your pillow.” Luna said. “Do you dream of her that often?”

“What is it with you two and being able to read people through creatures?” Theo groaned, looking down at the floor as he spoke. “Me and her are, well, I’m working on it. I can’t see things like you do, so you’re going to have to give me a moment.”

“You are quite lost.” Luna said calmly, her hands moving to open the door to Honeydukes. “I felt you’d want to know she has Uerbs following her around too. They’ve grown quite fond of you.”

Theo sighed softly as he stomped his foot a bit impatiently, hoping that nobody else would walk out of the tower but you.

He was currently standing in front of the doors of the Ravenclaw Tower. Or at least, what would be a door. It was a statue of a bird which obnoxiously asked riddles he didn’t have any time for, so he offered to stand and wait for you.

Though that idea seemed to be wearing off completely. That was until you walked out

“Theo?” you asked, your eyes darting up and down him. He had done his hair just a bit nicer than usual. He was wearing a suit, albeit rather tame, with a bouquet of your favorite flowers in hand. Along with all of that, he somehow seemed to find a limited edition of the book you had been wanting to read for ages, a signature from the author directly on the cover.

“I want to take you out on a date.” he whispered, holding the objects out to you. There was a large blush covering his face, eyes darting to the floor. “Will you, maybe, go on a date with me?”’

“Theo, I,” you whispered, looking at him incredulously before giggling softly. “Have you noticed my Uerbs too then?”

“I,” he whispered before nodding as he remembered what Luna said. “Yeah, I did.”

“I would love to go out with you.” you smiled, that whimsical smile that he couldn’t seem to get enough of. “Where did you want to go?”

“I made a dinner reservation, about two hours from now.” he whispered, smiling genuinely once you said yes. You had said yes. You had said yes.”

“Let me get ready then. Give me just twenty minutes or so.” you smiled, before turning back around to get ready. Theo chuckled at the sounds of your small yet excited squeals.

AUTHOR’S NOTE

guys. i don’t have. my fancy smancy dividers.

for some reason my phone hates downloading transparent pngs from tumblr and aleays adds a white background, which is absolutely not tolerable at ALL, and managing these lines were also really hard as well for some reason? the images always summon at the bottom so you have to drag them, which wasn’t easy with the size.

but we pulled through guys. GUYS WE DID IT YAYAYAYAYYYY

AS ALWAYS, please like, comment, and reblog! i hope you lovelies had a fantastic day, and i shall write to you some other time. bye guys!

[pinkaditty]

HI i love your works sm ,,, and i really love the way you write it just brings out soemtnhign in me ,,, but hear me out on leo kurosagi angst where leo keeps insulting pc and pc just took it well until he said something sensitive (maybe sth ab the way she eats? or sth abt her face etc etc) and hurt pc's feelings and he didnt feel bad when pc cried , but when he saw pc going over to sho and sho giving him dirty looks he feels remorseful but he didnt want his pride to crack so he blamed pc , and then when pc started avouding him he started mocking her but in the inside it hurt him and his pride slightly , afterwards he found out he actually has genuine feelings for pc but denies it , until he found out pc is now his bff's gf WOW i NEED him humbled 🤗🤗🤗

Pavlov's Ghoul (Leo Kurosagi x Reader x Sho Haizono; Tokyo Debunker)

hey anon this existing is UR FAULT. (ilysm ty 4 the idea) and i hope u don't mind that I added my own little twist 2 it... hehe! even if u didn't expect me 2 write anything u can't drop a fresh, juicy steak of an idea like this and expect me not 2 salivate and tear it 2 shreds via writing it out.

OMG also TYYYYYYY IM SOSO GLAD U LIKE MY WRITING YIPPEE!!!!!!!!! i hope this is up 2 ur standards anon

a/n: why does this exist? blame anon and my inner need 4 a bitchy boy 2 be humbled amen! also i feel like i've completed my tokyo debunker rite of passage... ive finally written leo angst... nirvana at last.

summary: leo gets fuckin pavloved LMAO! considered calling this "ecstasy" or something bc of the pill line but ohh my god "pavlov's ghoul" hit too hard i fear.

cw: this isn't dark imo but be warned as this is just a little bit crazy, the most insane kind of yearning ive ever written maybe. implied sexual encounters, multiple sexual innuendos, and some odd behavior. MINORS DNI AS PER USUALLLLLL!

Sho's kind, reasonably so. Leo knows this. Sho also has an infinite store of deeply repressed anger. Leo also knows this. It's the reason he's in Vagastrom, after all. A deep, roiling anger that seems to eat at him if he doesn't have an appropriate outlet to balance his mood. That's why he's such a good cook, why he's so good at fighting, why he's got an excellent sense of balance and rides his bike smoother than anyone else he knew. He's using these things as outlets for his anger. It's not Leo's fault that the occasional outing to trick and deceive another sexually repressed rich old man for money is something else Sho seems to derive stress relief from. And it's not Leo's fault that Sho continues to stick around with him after those jobs are done. It's never been a problem for either of them, as far as he can tell. At least, there were no problems until Little Miss Inspector showed up.

Suddenly, Sho didn't want to lie anymore. Suddenly, Sho wanted to go as far as to address you with the proper honorifics, ask for your help with setting up his food truck, and even generally spend time with you outside of that. And for what? Some trembling, scared, pathetic girl that knew nothing of the world of anomalies prior to her curse? Some girl doomed to "die" in less than one year, no less? He couldn't understand the kindness Sho showed you. It made no sense, nor any difference. You'd be dead soon, so what did it matter?

It's got to the point where he's begun to randomly put you down with petty insults and biting remarks. They usually consist of things like "Oh my god, even preschoolers know Anomalous Biological Basics! Come on Inspector, is your head screwed on right? Not even the Captain is this stupid." or "You remember your ability is useless when we need it, right? You'd be nothing more than a burden on missions if you can't even control this power. " or even "God, you're such a basic loser. Can't you find something else to do with your free time instead hang around Sho like a lovesick puppy? You're starting to look like that dog that's always around Kagami." and worse insults. He gets the occasional sidelong disapproving glance from Alan or even a slight furrowed brow from Sho, but it didn't matter to Leo. So long as he could slowly plant seeds of doubt in his fellow ghouls and put you down to satisfy his ego, even an odd look was negligible.

He couldn't even stand looking at you. The uniform they'd chosen for you was awful, didn't even highlight your curves. He hated the way you styled your hair, and always thought he could totally do it better. The way you seemed so relaxed around other ghouls pissed him off, why couldn't he be good company? He found you repulsive, unable to resist glaring at you from the corner of his eye whenever he could. He had to get rid of you somehow. He would never admit to feeling threatened by you; instead choosing to focus all that energy into believing you were simply throwing a wrench into his plans to live an easy, get-away-with-anything university life.

It's all come to a head today. Leo thinks he's had enough of seeing you at the food truck after hours, chatting it up with Sho. It's like he can't even catch this guy alone anymore. Before he knows it, he's made a beeline for the truck. His brand new shoes scuff on the brick path in his rush, and eventually begin to stain green on the grass, his brisk stride tearing through the verdant lawn. He tries not to let his anger show on his face, but it's evident in his posture and pace. He forcefully sidles himself into the conversation, leaning on the service counter next to you, not even waiting for you to finish speaking before he pipes up. "Wow, here again, huh? And here I thought a basic bitch like you would know her place! That mouth of yours must be good for something if he keeps a chatterbox like you around."

The chill settles into the air almost immediately despite his candid tone and relaxed, smug smile. He's so focused on your reaction that he hardly notices the look Sho gives him, twisted with displeasure and confusion. He watches as you visibly falter, your lopsided smile fading into a barely-there frown. He stares, unrepentant, laughing internally. This was the reaction he wanted.

He turns towards Sho and raises an eyebrow at his look. "What? She can take it." Sho's expression visibly wavers, and Leo fully expects him to back down, as he usually does. But instead, Sho turns to you and his face grows pale. Leo rolls his eyes, assuming Sho is totally overreacting, and turns to you. He stiffens at your visible tears. Okay, totally not what he expected, but come on. This was the insult that made you cry?

Leo notices Sho is at your side in record speed, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, and gently drawing your hunched form away, giving Leo a harsh look. Leo simply scoffs. As far as he was concerned, your reaction was pathetic. It wasn't going to stop him from having any fun.

This. Under no circumstances should this hurt. At all.

Leo had noticed you'd been avoiding him. You would slink away if he so much as entered the same room as you. You wouldn't look him in the eyes if he approached, keeping your expression impassive. Sometimes you'd just outright ignore him. It was beginning to become a bit of a nuisance. He couldn't properly mock you if you weren't there to witness it happening, or didn't give him the reaction he wanted. It was odd. When he faced these feelings head-on, it almost felt like he wanted your attention somehow, even if he didn't quite want it to feel like that. A nagging feeling told him that maybe he went too far with his latest insult. He didn't want to admit that, but something told him he did. It was in the way both you and Sho acted around him.

Sho was missing a lot of Leo's calls lately, sometimes not even bothering to call back. Leo partially understood, what with the food truck business booming and all, but he didn't appreciate being made to wait for his own best friend who's usually at his beck and call. Not to mention the flat, terse responses he would get from Sho more often than not nowadays. Leo knew Sho was miffed with him from last week's incident, but as far as Leo was concerned, things still ended in his favor. He hadn't seen you around Sho much anymore, which means he could go back to how things were. No more pesky little honor student to reign upon his days any longer! Sure, there was the biting underlying feeling that maybe he'd screwed things up, but one ride on the back of Sho's motorcycle, going wherever Leo wanted as per usual, and he was living the dream again. No way everything would change over a silly, insignificant insult.

For a short while, he begins to get bolder, openly mocking you when he does come across you. His originally surface-level remarks become rather personal, even using your eventual death as a way to tease you. From "You know, I'm surprised you haven't done anything to change up that unflattering look, considering you're dying soon. Ever considered dressing up a little? You might get some attention before you die." to "Hey, Little Miss Inspector! With the number of men you talk to around campus, I'm surprised nobody's written you off as a whore yet!", and worse, of course. He continues to get no such reaction out of you, and it frustrates him to no end. Why couldn't you just frown? Shrink away? Or even retort something just as scathing back to him? Your lack of entertainment towards his endless ridicule reduced his motivation, and slowly, it ended up dying off. Soon, he left you alone altogether, not talking to you unless necessary, mimicking your actions. In a way, some part of him hopes maybe this will be what gets your attention. Even if he can't quite admit to himself that your attention, regardless of whether it's positive or negative, is what he wants.

It's late, but Vagastrom students don't go to bed until far later. And Leo needs a favor.

His crushing lack of success in garnering any sort of attention or reaction or rise from you had driven him to a point. He didn't want to apologize to you or anything, but this new habit of you ignoring him was beginning to stoke his displeasure. In his pondering, he remembered how easily Sho captured your gaze and wondered if maybe he'd have any idea of what Leo could do to at least put an end to this stalemate.

Leo's reluctance shows in the way he drags his feet on the path to Sho's room, less than eager to confront him for his opinion on something so shamelessly trivial. Why was he wasting his time with this anyway? Surprisingly, the lack of a solid answer to that question did not stop his trek. A twinge in his chest told him he knew exactly why he was "wasting his time".

In the month it had been since he'd made you cry, the nagging feeling had only gotten harsher. His mind kept flickering back to the shock of your tears and how he'd not bothered to consider it much further. An uncomfortable guilt had made itself known starting then. He never really expected you to cry; he just wanted a mild reaction. He wanted your eyes on him, flashing with anger, just for a moment. Your ire was a saccharine pill laced with ecstasy that he'd gladly crush with his teeth to speed up his high. Maybe it'd be too much to say he got off on it, but he enjoyed the way you used to roll your eyes at any comments from him a little more than he cared to admit. Now, he wouldn't even get that. It'd be rare for you to so much as make fleeting eye contact with him, not that something as small as that would be enough for Leo. Part of him was willing to accept that maybe, he'd gone too far. Maybe. But how else was he supposed to monopolize your attention when you give that out so freely? To his best friend, even?

He didn't know it was possible to covet something so terribly. He found himself wondering why he couldn't catch your attention in the same way as the other ghouls? In his quest for the same attention you gave so freely to the kinder, softer ghouls, he found another version of your attention. It was negative, but it was attention nonetheless. Your sweet, honeyed rage seemed to fill his cravings and then some, so he continued to devour it under the guise of "chasing you away" or "putting you down" or "satisfying his ego". In truth, for whatever reason, there was a rather bothersome and persistent envious longing, a covet, for your attention. Leo wants to vomit. A part of him denies it still, pushing his needless feelings to the back of his brain. He had something to do, and he ought to focus on that. What good would mere wallowing do?

He makes it to Sho's room and almost considers turning back. He stares at the door, his expression morphing into a complicated look. He shifted his feet, his slippers sliding against the floor. It was quite clear he really did not want to do this. At all. He sighs and grumbles indignantly, putting his head in his hands in an attempt to gather some courage. This couldn't be that hard, right? Just in, ask Sho a question, get an answer, then out. The only reason this was easier said than done was just because it could potentially show Leo was capable of feeling remorse, which would make this conversation leagues harder than it needed to be. He shakes his head and straightens up, preparing to knock, when he notices something.

Sho's room was... unusually quiet. Usually, Leo almost always heard some loud music or a cooking show running in the background, but he couldn't hear anything this time. Sho couldn't possibly be asleep. As late as it was, the only person who Leo knew for a fact could stay up past him was Sho, regardless of how much sleep he had gotten. There was no chance Sho was asleep. Believe it or not, Leo doesn't like to spy on Sho. But curiosity overwhelms him. What could he possibly be doing that would render the whole room in silence?

"Haxs," he whispers, listening closely.

The first thing he hears is the cling-clanging of Alan hard at work on a car in the garage. Not the sound he was meant to be focusing on. Then he hears endless jeering and loud insults shouted, though they're all muffled like they're underground. Another pit fight? Still, not the sound he's looking for. He sifts through the sounds he hears before he settles on the one coming directly from Sho's room.

Voices. Groaning, strained voices. The sound of wet skin against wet skin. Panting. Sho's panting, specifically. He could tell by the slight nasally tone of it.

Leo felt his face gradually warm. Christ, of course it'd be this he'd be up to. Leo muffles a laugh into the collar of his pajamas, keeping his hand clamped over his mouth as his body shook with mirth. When he finally calms down, he slinks off to the corner down the hall, and hides himself there, shamelessly still listening to it. Sho's a sly dog. Leo certainly didn't expect him to be getting up to anything this soon. He leans his body against the wall, crossing his arms and drumming his fingers on his arm, waiting for Sho to finish. He smirks to himself, as though enjoying the vocal show.

...

He had to admit, whoever he was with had gorgeous moans. He'd have to ask Sho if he'd be willing to pass this girl's number. He could use a couple things to get his mind off of you.

...

Okay, he had to stop listening to this now. He lifts his stigma and holds his hands over his ears for good measure, partially trying to hide the furious red blush across his face. As pretty as that girl's moans were, he was not going to listen to his best friend's climax. No thanks. He huffs out an impatient breath as his cheeks cool down, leaning his back against the wall, leaning his head back until it hit the wall with a dull thump. Now he just had to wait it out. He knew damn well Sho would never let a girl stay over. He'd never hear the end of it from yours truly, Leo.

Leo's right. It isn't long before he hears the door to Sho's room click, and hears murmured voices travel down the hall. He smirks, rushing down the hall in the opposite way, so it doesn't look like he was listening the whole time. He listens, waiting for a cue of some sort.

"Shame you have to go, you know." Sho's voice. Laced with relief, pleasure, and a thick tiredness. Leo's skin crawled. He could practically feel the smile in Sho's voice.

"It's not so bad." The girl responded with a light and playful tone, her voice seemingly much more put together than Sho's despite all that moaning. The voice sounded oddly familiar, but Leo brushed it off. Must be someone he shares classes with. "I've got things to do anyway. But it was nice to spend some time with you, Sho." Eagh. Leo internally hopes this girl isn't the type to get easily attached.

"...Yeah. Same to you. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Finally, he heard the girl's footsteps trailing down the hall, heading in his direction. Leo hurriedly pulls his phone out of his pocket, making sure the screen was bright as he flipped through the latest trends. He made a point of not looking up until he heard the footsteps nearing him.

He looks up, prepared for a simple glance, but ends up being rooted to the spot.

It was you. Of course, it was you. Who else would be taunting enough?

Despite himself, his gaze remains glued to you, his head turning as you walk past him. For a moment, Leo thinks you're just going to ignore him again. Then, suddenly, your gaze meets his in a flash, and he stiffens, almost out of fear. The way your eyebrows crease and the way your lips twitch downward almost makes him salivate. You were clearly displeased to see him. Even so, he notices you don't slow down, continuing your way down the hall, not bothering to crane your neck to look at him.

Leo remains rooted to the spot, watching your figure as you leave. His jaw hangs open slightly, his chest heaving with shocked breaths. His eyes are wide open, pools of gold reflecting your retreating form. His hand trembles as he holds his phone, the latest trends left neglected in the wake of a single mean-spirited glance from you. He feels his heart pound mercilessly in his chest, as though confirming what he'd tried so desperately to deny.

All at once, anger and arousal seem to grip him simultaneously. Anger at himself for feeling arousal from a mere negative glance from you. He couldn't possibly have craved your attention so viscerally he'd happily accept mere scraps. And yet here he was, a lap dog, watching you as you leave as though silently begging for another glance, another chance to watch your eyes burn with that familiar, delicious anger, another meal to satisfy his starved heart.

For a moment, he would have gladly followed you, and pestered you to death, just to irk you and become a willing victim of your wrath. Anything... just for that attention.

a/n: wow. no stop why am i kind of in shock at the poetic lines i kinda think i did a great job! but 4 whatever reason it's always the writing i think was total shit that does actual numbers *sob*

aghhhh in any case. no i don't have an excuse 4 this. my requests are still technically closed. i just... couldn't help myself... so consider this a freebie. regardless though if u like my writing feel free 2 fill the fuck out of my inbox idnc i love hearing from y'all.

also TUMBLR KEEPS TURNING OFF MY REBLOGS!!!! GRAH!!!!!! tumblr hates me y'all they keep catching on2 me 4 writing porn :( so please if u really wanna show appreciation and tumblr won't let u reblog, leave a comment! those make me happy :)

anyways. usual note that i adore likes, comments, and tagged reblogs!! please tell me how much you like my writing, i love to hear it and it keeps me going! until next timeeeeeeee!

EDIT: I FORGOTTT QUICK EXPLAINATION: im assuming everyone knows pavlov's dog and the whole classical conditioning theory. this story is basically that mixed with the mere-exposure effect.

neutral stimulus: mc's presence

natural response: leo's arousal/excitement

response-producing stimulus: mc's anger

mere-exposure effect: psychological effect in which a like or dislike of things is developed merely due 2 familiarity.

[district4loading]

One of your girls

Twice Sana!Sub x Female Reader!Dom

5k Words

Content Warning: smut, fingering, oral, strap-on, slight possessive/jealous reader, breeding kink, hair pulling

Minors DNI

A/N: This isn't my first time writing, I have a bunch of other random stories and smuts in my drafts. Feel free to ask me anything and request stuff. When I have the time I will work on introducing you guys to me and the things I will/won't write along with the groups I stan.

With that being said, please enjoy! It's mostly smut

-

“So then, am I one of your girls?”

-

"You know, I saw a headline the other day titled 'Sana of Twice rumored to have been in multiple relationships with women'" You spoke softly, still hearing whines and whimpers coming from the girl above you as you slid the pad of your middle finger through her slick folds "Well, it wasn't like an established article or anything, more so a Tik tok video with rumors that saesangs—"

Sana sighed desperately, she honestly didn't give a fuck about whatever you were on about now. You were laid flat on your belly between her legs, face and fingers oh so close to where she needed you to be right now and you were talking about one among her many gay rumors. How could you possibly be thinking about anything else right now but getting her off? It was really all you were good for anyways. As you kept on speaking, explaining how the rumors were basically baseless claims she cut you off "Uh? Y/n.. can - fuck - can you just.. please"

You stopped speaking, considering the idea that you really could've been doing something better with your mouth right now. So you hummed "Yeah sorry, I just thought it was funny because it's true and nobody believes it... some even say that you're the straightest member" You snickered, finding that term being associated with Minatozaki Sana—of all people—to be humorous.

Sana more so huffed, the noise coming out of her mouth bubbling with impatience "Well that's no mere coincidence, i'm careful and I know how to pick my girls... now please just - Ah Fuck!" The girl's sentence was cut off by a guttural moan which tore from her lips because like the asshole you were, you decide to actually do something while she was speaking. Sana would never complain about that though, the moment you finally slid your finger past her folds and into her hot entrance she was inexplicably satisfied by the sensation.

Her legs tried to close a bit but they ended up only squeezing you because you were in the way. "So then, am I one of your girls?" You questioned her. Now, it wasn't like you didn't assume that Sana probably had some sort of roster, how could you not? The girl was one amongst the most attractive k-pop idols in the industry so of course she had options.

You just wanted to be her best one.

"You know you are - mmh" Sana's eyes clamped shut the moment you curled your finger. You feared to push another in because of the way her hot walls hugged you. She was so tight, like she hadn't been fucked by anyone else before this in a while. Which made sense because the last time you saw her was maybe a month ago? You slowly pumped your fingers in and out, allowing her to feel the stretch of the digit as much as she could.

You merely hummed in response to what she said, "When was the last time you've had sex?" It probably wasn't wise to ask her questions like this when you were two knuckles deep inside of her but you were curious and it's sort of relevant.

"Fuck- I don't know... whens the last time you were here?" She managed to say the words properly without breaking or moaning which was impressive considering that each time you made it to the hilt, your finger brushed passed her g-spot. Another thing you noticed, that quite frankly made your ears perk, was that Sana hadn't had sex with anyone but you in the past month. "I haven't had much time to - God - you know... because of work" Her hips began to squirm.

You couldn't help but smile as you slid your ring finger inside, eliciting a sharp and higher pitched moan from Sana. "Is it because of work or the fact that nobody can fuck like me?" You teased picking up the pace a bit. Sana just threw her head back, struggling to tell you to shut up as she arched her back while you continued to stretch her out.

Then finally, it was the time you decided to actually put your mouth to a much better use. You dipped your head down and stuck your tongue out, flattening it against Sana's warm clit feeling it pulse and throb like an irregular heart beat. Now your head was really being squeezed between her slim thighs as she keened, a cute noise escaping her lips.

It was obvious she hadn't done this in a while and if you couldn't tell by what she said or how tight she was, you would've known by how reactive she had been. So sensitive and needy, twitching - hips bucking at every graze and eventual touch you offered to any part of her bare skin. You swirled your tongue around the bundle of nerves "Fuck - just like that - Ah! - don't stop, baby" Sana gasped with her hands fondling her own breasts, tweaking her stiff nipples which were still glossy from your saliva.

You hummed, sucking the warm bud in, taking care of her properly like you always did. With your fingers still repeatedly hitting her g-spot you knew she had to be right there. You made a mental note as her breathing increased and she began cursing over and over again. Small phrases like "Fuck" and "Shit" but in different combinations. Sometimes she would chant them one after the other or she'd just stick to repeating one. "Fuck - If you keep - oh God yes - You're - You're - shit - gonna make me fucking -"

Her eyes were wired shut now, just after she had gathered up the courage to raise her head to watch you. Now she was about to cum all over your fingers and in your mouth and you couldn't wait for it. Her taste was delicious in only the most filthiest ways. Since Sana had to take care of her body, being a k-pop idol and all, she loved to eat fruit which is why she always made for the sweetest meal. You were more so doing it for your pleasure and hers rather than just hers.

"Cumming... Cumming... I'm..." Sana was heaving now, words she tried to say not being able to come out. Instead she mouthed them, it was the best she could do. From what you could make out she was only just repeating the audible words she last uttered. Cumming. Then in the blink of an eye, her back was arched the highest it could go, her body shuddering and shaking as she moaned the loudest she has tonight. Well it was more of an adorable squeal, which you noticed by now that she only did when she was cumming hard.

She began to leak all over your fingers as you slowed them to help her ride out her orgasm. When her body collapsed back onto the bed, you knew she was done. So you withdrew completely, sliding your fingers out and crawling up her hot body. She smiled lazily, allowing you to leave kisses on her lips that she couldn't even begin to reciprocate. Sana tried though, kissing you back just enough to satisfy the both of you. "Satisfied?" You questioned Sana as you stared into her still lust filled eyes.

"mm-mm" She shook her head, you knew she would. There was really only one way that she could be truly 'satisfied' by you and that was when you were 6-8 inches inside, hitting all of her deepest spots. You dipped your head into the crook of her neck, leaving kisses and small sucks on the warm flesh. The salty flavor was intoxicating. "Get the...mm, in the drawer" She told you.

A smirk grew on your face, you knew exactly what she needed right now and after a month with no sex you couldn't blame her. All the more you were glad that the first person she called over when she finally had time was you. So you left one more kiss on Sana's neck and went into the bottom drawer by her nightstand. "Which one?" You questioned her, seeing that there were a few new additions to her collection of toys.

"Your choice"

That was all she said and it made a giddy feeling emerge inside of you. Sana wanted you to choose a toy to ruin her with. She should know not to put that kind of power into your hands. You were no sadist, but if she gave you an inch, you wouldn't ever hesitate to take a mile. So you picked up the black strap-on, the biggest one in the collection. Maybe almost the length of Sana's forearm with a girth that made the silicone look all too intimidating.

Sana's eyes widened, pupils blown as she saw what you picked and sure enough, a smirk grew on her face."You know, you look the prettiest like that" You told her as you put the attachment on. She was just watching you, sitting naked on her heels as you got ready.

"So i'm the prettiest when i'm about to get fucked is what you're saying?" She teased, faking as if she was offended. "Not when i'm on a magazine cover or performing or modeling? You know, that's crazy because those times are when I actually try to look pretty"

You shook your head after finally working your way through the straps "mm-mm, because all those things are for everybody else to see. I mean sure, you are drop dead gorgeous no matter what" You paused then climbed onto the bed and on top of the idol to which she gave no resistance to lay down and let you in between her legs. "But nothing compares to the complete and utter... raw... lust and desire in your eyes right now. The one that you only look at me with." You kissed her neck once "That along with that sexy smirk of yours... makes for the prettiest face ever"

Sana hummed ignoring the part where you said that she only looked at you with lust and desire. It wasn't true, but she decided to let you have that one. "I didn't think of it that way, why are you so poetic?" She giggled a bit.

You just shrugged your shoulders "No idea... you ready?" You asked as you lined the head of the toy up with her entrance.

"mm-hm, just be careful. It's been long and you decided to pick the biggest one" You nodded, then pushed your hips forward a bit and fuck - it's in. You heard a sharp wince escape Sana's lips and then a delicate moan followed it as she shut her eyes. So you leaned down, allowing her to wrap her legs around your waist and her arms around your back as you went further... deeper.

The way her face twisted up, eyebrows knitting together, pouty lips almost frowning. You didn't know what you were thinking before because this was indeed the prettiest she's ever looked. You didn't say it though, you just called her name softly, not moving any deeper "Sana?" Her name escaped your lips so easily. She opened her eyes and looked deep into yours "You okay?"

Sana nodded, humming in response "Yes, please keep going" She gave you the green light verbally so you pushed your hips forwards some more. Sana was making that face again and god you wished you could feel her inside. She probably felt so fucking good, you envied any man she's ever slept with because it had to have been a life changing experience.

You sighed "I wish I could get you pregnant" It really just came out, you didn't even realize you said it out loud until Sana started to giggle.

"Wait" She stopped you just to laugh a little harder. "You're about to fuck me and you're thinking about getting me pregnant?" She asked, still not believing the words that just came out of your mouth.

"Well, yeah. Isn't it fitting?"

"Yeah except you can't"

"I know, that's why I said it... well, I thought it, I didn't even mean to say it out loud" You muttered, causing Sana to laugh even harder at you. Another sigh falls from your lips, you felt a bit embarrassed by your sudden expression of affection. You knew Sana found it funny because that wasn't at all what this was. She wasn't yours, you weren't hers and it bothered you, a lot. So you decided to shut her up, fully bottoming out without warning.

A scream tore from her lips, the loudest of the night at the sudden assault. "Oh my god" She squeezed your body harder "I told you to be careful" She complained, knowing that she was gonna be sore later. You didn't care though, you were pissed because she was laughing at you.

"Shut up" You muttered before drawing back and sliding all the way back in. She moaned loudly, her eyes rolling back as you began thrusting your hips hard and deep at a steady pace. She was struggling to get a grip while you changed angles.

"Fuck" Thrust "You're" Thrust "Hitting my-" Thrust "Ah! Fuck." You did it on purpose, fucking her like this just to make her a dumb mess while she spoke. There was something uniquely satisfying at the way each of your thrusts pushed a single word out of her throat. It made you so wet, having this exceptionally beautiful girl under you like this. You felt the slick arousal collecting between your thighs - Fuck and not to mention the way the seat of the toy brushed up against your clit each time you made it to the hilt. 'I could cum like this' You told yourself, feeling butterflies erupting in your belly with another surge of arousal.

You leaned forwards, putting your mouth on hers as you kept moving your hips, thrusts still hard and deep. She loved it this way and you knew it, you knew her body so well by now. You were catching her enthusiastic moans and swallowing each wonderful sound with your mouth as you kissed her more. As expected you did most of the work, licking, sucking and biting at her swollen lips. You couldn't get enough of her and it seemed like she felt the same way about you with how she squeezed her legs around you.

'This has got to be my favorite toy' You thought to yourself, sighing as you felt the slippery friction attacking your sweet spot in all the right ways. Sana couldn't even tell that you were feeling it because she was too fucked out and dizzy to notice your irregular breathing or your pleasureful grunts. It was all a blur in her mind right now as she carved sweet red marks into your back.

You pulled back a bit, now she was holding onto your biceps as you looked down to watch where your bodies met. She was clenching, you could tell because of the slight resistance you felt upon drawing back. You leaned all the way back down, your lips next to her ears. "You're about to cum aren't you?" You teased "Bet you've been waiting for this - God - you've been waiting for me to come over and fuck you dumb"

"Ah- yes, yes, yes, yes" Sana chanted, gasping as she felt that hot coil in the pit of her stomach, a feeling that she'd been craving for so long and God it was happening—and it was happening while you were between her legs. "Pl-Plea-uh Please!" She began begging, what for? Your permission of course but you were feeling generous this particular night.

"Go ahead baby, be a good girl and cum for me, Sana" You used the term she loved to be called. It only got her that much closer as you rolled your hips in a rhythm, the same one that kept her legs shaking and her walls fluttering. "Fuck - look at you, so fucking pretty while you're getting ruined"

"I...I-I can't... I'm cumming, I'm cumming, I'm cumming—" Sana repeated the words over and over like a broken record until one more "I'm" and before she could even continue, the coil snapped and she was orgasming with her back rising to form a wonderful bow shape. As if she was being summoned by God himself and well—it definitely felt like she was. Her body shaking and stuttering as you kept the same pace which if you knew Sana you knew it was crucial in helping her ride it out.

When she stopped moving, and her moans and gasps reduced to tired whimpers you took it as a sign that her peak had tapered off. You kissed her sweetly on the lips as you slid all the way out, but you weren't done yet. "Roll over" You asked softly, noticing that look in her eye. She was so down for more—another thing you really liked about Sana. The girl could go rounds and rounds and rounds without being boring or getting tired.

Sana slowly but surely turned over so that she could be on all fours—or at least try to be—she lazily allowed her upper body to rest on the mattress and she was just how you liked her to be, face down ass up. You positioned yourself behind her and took the toy into your hand. Once hand squeezing her ass cheek while the other was dragging the tip up and down her messy cunt.

Needy whimpers escaped her lips and she was already trying to push back to achieve some sort of penetration, pressure—anything. This surprised you because you didn't expect her to be so needy for it this soon, but then again it's been a while so you couldn't blame her much. But goddamn she was so sexy when she got like this, the noises she made, the needy movements... all of it so, so sexy and it was all for you. "So needy" You smacked your teeth and let your hands rest on her slim waist, squeezing it for a moment.

"Y/n~" Sana whined your name and it sounded like music to your ears. "Please... Please do something" She begged. You found it so hot, you hadn't even asked her to but she was already begging for you to take her again. You slapped her ass, hard, watching the flesh jiggle while she moaned in response. She loved the stinging pain, as a matter of fact, she got high on it.

"You've got to be specific to get what you want.. Princess" You muttered, knowing it would make her gush and clench over nothing. It was embarrassing how well you knew her body and all the things that made her tick after what? just a few months of hooking up with her. So easy.

"Please—Please" Sana took some time to raise her head and turn back. The sight was one you could only thank God for giving you the eyes to witness. Her eyes were dark and hooded, pretty pink lips swollen, brown hair stuck to her face with the sweat. "I want you to fuck me with that toy, fill me up, pound me, use me... and don't stop until we're both finished" Her words as well as her tone was nothing short of filthy lust, the kind that you would only hear in a porno. You fucking loved it.

Smirking, you took the toy into your hand and nudged the tip into her entrance. She was still looking back and when your eyes met hers, you pushed your hips forwards nice and slow. You watched as her eyebrows began to knit, mouth forming an 'o' shape as she took the girthy toy inside. When you made it to the hilt, Sana's upper body collapsed back into the bed and the seat of the toy pushed against your clit in a way that made you gasp. "Fuck... this toy is gonna be the death of me" You almost whimpered out loud, the burning pleasure being way too much to handle.

"Yeah? I knew you'd like it" Sana mentioned, causing you to quirk your eyebrow.

"What? you've used it on someone before?" You questioned her, knowing that she was a bottom that only occasionally liked to switch depending on who she was with. But Sana mostly was the type to seek out dominant women so you were a bit confused.

"mm-mm, i spent the night with a friend a bit ago and she told me all about it" You tilted your head, remembering that she said she hadn't been fucked in a month, and the last time you were here this toy wasn't in the collection.

"That doesn't make sense, Sana"

"What?"

"Earlier you told me that it's been a month since you had sex"

Sana stammered a bit before actually responding to you with words "I mean like it was 3-4 weeks ago so it's basically been a month since then"

You slapped her ass again, this time a bit harder causing a strangled moan to escape her lips. "Was it three or four Sana?" You were beginning to get possessive, knowing that you had no right to but she'd still allow it because she thought it was hot when you got like this.

"Ow- Fuck Y/n does it matter?"

"Yeah, Four weeks is a month, three isn't, so which one is it?" You said lowly.

In reality it's been four weeks, but Sana liked where this was going so she lied. "Three" She stated, closing her eyes as she bit back a smile, bracing herself for a slap that never came. Instead she felt your rough hands gripping her waist, causing her to whimper a bit. Then you began to fuck her, listening to her moan uncontrollably and grip the sheets as you began at a pace way too fast for the small girl to handle. "Y/n! Baby- Fuck... I'm sorry" She whined, getting off on this more than you could ever know.

You paused for a moment and reached over, gathering up her wavy brown hair in a ponytail. You pulled her head up then began fucking her again, her body jolting forwards come each thrust. It was so easy, the way the silicone just slid in and out but you weren't thinking about that, your mind was plagued with a complete jealous anger that burned in your stomach. You were near to her ear at this point "I didn't fucking hear you" You gritted through your teeth.

It was difficult to stay dominant cause - fuck - this toy was really rubbing you in the right places and it felt amazing. But you needed her a sobbing fucked out mess under you before you even thought about cumming so you had to hold it all back. "I'm - Fuck... I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm—" She kept on apologizing in that whiny tone you loved. She repeated the apology so many times that it was almost comical.

"Sorry for what?"

"Sorry for lying" You hummed as if you wanted her to continue and when she didn't, you slapped her ass again, hard. It seemed to knock some good sense into her because she managed to find the words herself. "Sorry for being a dirty, lying, slut" She specified, absolute filth dripping from her words. You felt that same resistance inside again and that’s what told you that she was getting off on this. You didnt think it'd turn her on that badly but... shit it did.

"You're so fucking filthy, you know" You muttered, letting go of her hair which allowed her to collapse as she wanted to on the bed. "I know you're getting off on this... you probably lied on purpose, knowing that i'd fuck you like this, because you love it, you love the way I fuck don't you?"

"Fuck - yes!" Sana began gripping the sheets once more, leaking and gushing at how aggressive you were being right now. "I love how you fuck me - so hard, so deep - I can - fuck - I can feel it in my fucking guts the way you — god yes right there" She was an utter mess, mumbling and muttering random broken words as you pounded her into the bed.

"Yeah? Who's the best fuck you've ever had?" You were just stroking your ego now, knowing that it was you.

"Y-You, baby... you!" She admitted vocally, moaning loudly as you continued to utterly wreck her. "Just like that baby - Just like that - Just like— Ah!"

You leaned over, pounding your hips into Sana's ass until she lay flat on the bed, your fists pressed into the mattress near either side of her head. Her ass was so soft it felt like you were thrusting into a soft pillow. "Keep fucking — you're fucking me so good - ah - i'm - so fucking close"

"Hold it"

"I-I I can't" She whined, this wasn't good. Sana would normally try to be a good girl, cum when she was allowed to. But tonight you were fucking the absolute shit out of her, hitting spots that she didn't even know existed. She was seeing stars as the pleasure overtook her so she had absolutely no control when it came to holding it this time. When it was happening, it was happening and there was no stopping it. So the best thing she could do? Beg. Beg like the neediest slut in the world so you would give her permission in time.

"Please! Please! Let me cum, please baby" She whined, feeling her legs begin to tremble on their own. Oh God this isn't good- you were merciless, pounding into her just right. Even if you weren't, she beilieved that you had to be some kind of sadist. You knew that she wouldn't be able to hold it when you were fucking her like this but you still told her to. Only a sadist would.. "Fuck- wait... please - it's - it's - it's coming!"

This whole time, you've been holding it too, you were so fucking close. The thought that you were going to cum while you were inside of her, made everything feel ten times better. You began grunting louder and animalistic "Fuck- I'm right there baby" You moaned, feeling it coming.

Sana gasped at this, the noise coming out of her mouth filthy as she realized it, you were going to cum inside of her. That made butterflies erupt in the pit of her stomach where she was oh so close to letting go. "Pl-Please! Breed me - Breed me.. please - w-want your babies..." The poor girl was sobbing now, she was only doing her best to keep up.

But the words she was saying, begging you to breed her. "Fuck - You can cum" You muttered and just like that, with one more stroke and a strangled moan you were cumming. You were cumming while you were maybe 9 inches inside of her. To ride out your high, you kept grinding and then Sana was cumming too, screaming into the sheets as her body shook so recklessly.

Eventually you ground to a stop, leaning over Sana to leave sweet kisses on her sweaty shoulder, then down her spine. You were both out of breath but you loved to worship her perfect body any chance you got. "Y/n?" Sana called your name softly so you hummed in response, your tone gentle as well. "Let me buy you dinner some time"

[twilightkitkat]

Dude check this out. My first prompt!:

It takes place during Origins where one part, Logan returns to the camp to pack up (after tossing his dog tags aside) and Wade comes to see why he's leaving. (Maybe he had said to the others he'll talk to him.) Logan gives a reason and leaves. Then, it goes like the movie but just after Logan is told the story of the wolverine and the moon, there's a knock. It's Wade (which would take place just before his disapperance and Kayla's "death" I think) and he comes in for a drink. Kayla meets him but heads to the room to sleep and letting the guys talk. They sure did talk and end up sleeping together. Dun dun dunn but then Wade leaves and that's the last time Logan sees him. Unsure what else but yeah. I had a daydream of that. There's prob a fic already like that but yeah.

That's actually a really interesting idea. I headcanon that while Wade and Logan never got together, there was a definite underlying attraction even in Origins. They're the only members in the team who somewhat care about what they're doing, and they have complementary personalities.

I think that the main thing that held them back was Logan being much more closed off and trying to still have faith in his brother. He was in denial and trying to convince himself he could be okay with a life like this, so he didn't push to get close to anyone else. Regardless, Wade still found him and wormed his way into his life by talking his ear off.

So for Wade to chase after Logan after he made his new life means that he thought about it for a while. He stared up at the ceiling at night and remembered Logan and missed him. He tossed and turned because the idea couldn't leave his head until he finally said "fuck it" and decided to go after him because if wouldn't get any better.

When Wade comes by, it's like a punch in the gut to Logan. It's a direct reminder of the past, of what he ran away from. He still feels guilty for abandoning his team even if he knew it was the right thing to do (by team he means Wade and Victor, but the second one is complicated). So he lets him in warily, expecting sharp jabs and mocking quips.

But Wade doesn't blame him. He talks with him like an old friend, like he just retired peacefully from his office job. It makes Logan relax, it makes something deep inside of him unfurl.

Kayla goes upstairs to sleep for the night and Wade and Logan keep talking. Until the sunset fades and it turns dark out and suddenly hours have passed and it's 3am. And Logan... can't remember the last time he felt this good. This free.

So when Wade trails off and leans in, Logan doesn't protest. He doesn't remember Kayla. He doesn't think about the fact Wade's a guy. Those are issues for later.

For now, Logan kisses back.

[crazysodomite]

what is it like to be kind of popular/getting people interested in your own ideas and not fan art?

I don't think I'm popular *looks behind my back fearfully* 😨

Here's the thing. A lot of people post things and just expect people to find them and interact with them. To some people it works. But a lot of the time there's no way for people to even find your stuff or engage with it.

A lot of people go into fandom tags to look for art and writing, but not a lot of people just scroll the "oc" or "art" or "writing" tags aimlessly.

I'm not like. A social media expert 😼 or whatever. I don't know anything about anything ♥️ I literally just do whatever weurd things i want and that's it

Here's some things I can advise:

If you have ocs.... Please feel free to actually talk about them in detail, share your thoughts on them in detail, write actual info and profiles on them. Don't be shy to do this bc there's no way for someone to engage with your ocs if they don't really understand who you're talking about except the names 😭... Feel free to like link their info in your pinned or their toyhouse profiles or whatever... !!!! A lot of the times I follow someone and they ask to engage with their ocs, and I want to, but I literally just don't understand who they're taking about... Or I see someone talking about their ocs in very vague terms but I can't actually find who they're talking about.... (Not that you have to do this do whatever you want ... I'm not the boss of you ♥️ it's just something id like to see) And also don't be shy to actually remind people who you're talking about bc people who haven't been following you for a long time won't know. I think this is simpler for me because my concepts/characters are very basic/shallow and easy to understand. Taur who is a bee, taur who is a bath, etc... Is Inherently understandable and doesn't have any deep lore

👆 this applies to everything in general not just ocs. Talk about art. Talk about your own art. Talk about what you love in the art of others. Talk about your plans and concepts and ideas. Talk about your projects. Share with the world 🌍 🌍 🌍

Don't be shy to talk about your things. I think some people are anxious about seeing people unfollowing them. I personally use xkit to hide my followers on pc and actively avoid looking at my follower count on mobile... Because idgaf ♥️. If someone doesn't like what I post they're Nothing to me. I post about taurs and weird things basically every day. What do I have to lose? My dignity as a Tumblr blogger? Genuinely like just share whatever thoughts or concepts or doodles or drawings you want without being like "aww nobody wants to see this". Honestly I also do this because I don't have friends to talk about concepts and stuff with so your mileage may vary. Maybe you don't want to post. Maybe you worldbuild with your friends. Then maybe you can share the results of that worldbuilding and thoughts, that's good too.

Self reblog your stuff 😭 even old stuff. Self reblog your stuff and then elaborate on it further with your thoughts. Dig up old concepts and do things with them. Its okay to do this. Not everyone sees your stuff when you first post it... !

Actually engage with others. Others are more likely to see you and engage with you when you do the same to them. If you never interact with anyone else's art why would others interact with yours. And unfortunately posting stuff and expecting people to just stumble upon it is not a very good strategy...

[iloveelvisss]

I would love to see more yandere elvis, maybe him blowing up at the mafia for getting to "close" even if it's not really anything besides politeness. (All the requests are yandere)

Or, (This is seasonal) elvis and reader going over a christmas list for reader.

Maybe even elvis tells the reader he wants kids(Vegas era)

Elvis tells the reader what to wear for a party.

Reader cleaning graceland and elvis gets breeding urges (smut)

Reader getting concerned about elvis in the late years of the 70s, and helps him get off the drugs, why? Because he does what she wants (yandere behavior)

Anyway, some ideas for possible one shots. You can ignore this ask if you want, but I wanted to give you a few ideas :)

Okayyyy so eventually I’m gonna try and do all of these… maybe? But I really liked the one about him getting upset at the Memphis Mafia for ‘looking’ at his girl, so I’m gonna go with that one for this. Thank you soooo much, and please feel free to request more😙😙!! Also, thank you, because these are such good ideas!

Lookin’ (Elvis oneshot)

Correlates to Lovestruck and goes along with that storyline (which will hopefully be getting a second part sometime soon).

Pairing: yandere!Elvis x Fem!Reader

Summary: Sometime after everything is settled and Elvis has married Y/N, he feels as though a member of the Memphis Mafia is getting too close to his ‘angel’. And he won’t stand for that.

Warnings/Triggers: yandere fic, so expect delusional, obsessive, compulsive, manipulative, crazed, and possessive behavior. Elvis gets very angry and possessive. References to drug use. References to forced marriage, breeding, and the colonel.

In hindsight you should’ve known better. It had only been a month since you had to marry Elvis, and he was still very much in the honeymoon mindset. He wanted you pregnant— another way to make his claim on you a known thing to anyone else.

You somehow got to walk to the bar without him going with you. Most likely because he had a clear view of you from where he stood talking to Sammy Davis Jr., who had come to watch his show. You poured yourself a water— just to be safe, and then you went on your way back to him at a leisurely pace. You stopped to admire the painting he had hanging on the suite’s wall. It was very pretty. A large landscape of gorgeous purple flowers that were blowing freely in the wind. Such a cruel difference to your current life.

That’s when it happened. Sonny came up beside you, holding a beer. “Nice, ain’t it? Me and Red bought it for ‘im before you came along.”

You smiled politely, making sure to not make eye contact. You nod and take a drink of your water, which was now halfway empty. “S’ very pretty. Bet it makes him miss simple life sometimes,” you sigh, knowing that you’re really referencing yourself. You missed simple life. Nowadays you wished you would’ve said no to the job offer and stayed in California with the trust fund kids.

Sonny noticed your drink and offered to refill it, to which you politely declined. But it was too late. His hand touched yours and Elvis saw.

You made eye contact with him from across the room and you saw his jaw clench. His eyes darkened only slightly, and nobody other than you saw it. But the whole room stilled and watched with bated breath as he dropped his conversation with Sammy and stormed over to you. The crowd parted for him like the Red Sea, and he looked as if he was a predator stalking his prey with his eyes narrowed and his nose flared. His shoulders held back to make them come off as more broad. He was downright angry— scary angry.

You knew you were in trouble, and you held your breath as he made it to you. He grabbed your arm and dragged you into the bedroom portion of the suite. He locked you in it, and you could only imagine the shit he was giving Sonny.

“That’s my wife! My goddamn wife! Ya stay away from ‘er, or I’ll break yer goddamn neck!”

And then the door reopens and he comes storming in, his anger pouring off of him in waves. You take a large step back and then you fall backwards onto the small chair by the window. He leans down into your face, grabbing your jaw. “Ya like humiliatin’ me, angel? Huh? Ya like makin’ it look like my own wife don’t want me at my party?”

You fight back the tears that are trying desperately to fall. You shake your head as best as you can with his grip. “Please… Elvis, I didn’t mean anything by it. I- I was just talking to him.”

He stares into your eyes with a heated gaze for what feels like hours, and then he seems to remember himself, and he takes a deep breath. He loosens his grip, his eyes softening just a bit. “I don’t like it when those… those pigs talk to ya, Y/N,” his hand moves to caress your cheek and clear your tears that managed to fall, “Jus’ promise me you’ll stay by my side, yeah? Don’t let those suckers talk to ya?”

You quickly nod, just wanting him to stay happy. You shakily reach up and put your hand over his, holding it to your face. “Y- yeah, baby, I’ll only talk to you. Promise.” You say as firmly as you can manage in your slightly shaken state. He then nods, seeming convinced and content enough.

Elvis reaches down and pulls you up by the arm. He pulls you into an embrace, his fingers gently trailing through your hair. He kisses the top of your head, whispering, “Mhm, angel, s’ jus’ you and me, okay? Forever. Yer mine.”

Okay, so this is ACTUALLY shit. I’m so sorry, please forgive me😭. But I wanted to get at least one of your requests out for you. Enjoy…?

Tags: @queenstarlight (lmk if you wanna be added)

[umbracirrus]

WIP Wednesday-!!💛

It's Wednesday again! I swear it was only just Wednesday... But anyway! This is a two part WIP, both a sketch and some writing. The writing can be described with a single sentence - Elyse is in Denial™️. The drawing is an attempt at designing a new outfit for Balgruuf - one that seems fancy and formal but isn't as difficult to draw as his usual clothes.

I've been tagged by @hircines-hunter and @skyrim-forever and I will be tagging @thequeenofthewinter and anyone who wants to share a wip (I'd tag more people but I'm absolutely exhausted and not many names are coming to me right now... But if anyone wants me to tag them let me know-!! ;u;)

So first of all, the drawing! It's a partially coloured drawing of an outfit I've started designing for Balgruuf... I wanted to have him wearing something other than his usual outfit, but still has some similarities (it's such a hassle to draw what he wears on his torso aside from the fur over his shoulders!). You get some of my little notes too :) I've not settled on the remaining colours aside from there being a yellow accent somewhere, hence why only part is coloured. I think it's going to be what I'll have him wear in The Perfect Storm when he marries Elyse ;3

And now, the writing-!!! >:3

------

“Is that all of them?”

“I... I think so?” Elyse let out a quiet sigh as she leaned down and placed her hands on her knees as she attempted to catch her breath. “By the Eight, I’m more out of shape than I thought I was.”

“You still did well though, even if you have spent most of winter hibernating in Dragonsreach.”

Her eyes darted up as she glared at her friend, who was now quietly laughing at her reaction. “I swear, that is what – the third time you’ve brought that up today?” Elyse stood up straight and folded her arms over as she raised an eyebrow. “Why do you keep trying to tease me about staying there, Lyd?

Lydia walked over to her and placed her hands on her shoulders. “Please don’t tell me that you’re blind to it. Please.”

“Blind to what?”

“The Jarl has eyes for you!”

Elyse frowned at that statement, before tutting and shaking her head. She then broke free from her grasp. “He’d do the same for any other Thane if they were in a situation like mine.”

“But those Thanes aren’t the Dragonborn. Those Thanes aren’t you,” Lydia grinned, which just made Elyse scoff and turn on her heel. “Come on, you can’t be that naive-“

“I love you Lydia, you’re like a sister to me, but by the Divines, you are annoying when you get these sorts of ideas in your head.”

“Jarls wouldn’t just get expensive jewellery for the birthday of any old Thane, you know. Nor would they shut themselves away when they upset any old Thane either. Invite them to join them at a festival. Or throw everything down when they hear that they’ve ended up under the care of the Temple of Kynareth! Divines, Elyse, he’s trying to court you!”

Elyse momentarily tensed as her face heated up, then shook her head. “No... That- He isn’t-“ She clenched her fists. “He isn’t... Couldn’t. Not me...” She then began to walk away. She didn’t want to handle any of this, not right now.

“I served Jarl Balgruuf for a few years before he assigned me to be your Housecarl... And trust me when I say that he acts different around you, in a way that he does nobody else.”

Pursing her lips together as she continued walking away, she tried her best not to dwell on what Lydia was saying. They were friends, of course she liked to tease her – though it was normally over her abysmal cooking skills, or how easily she got drunk... Not this.

But at the same time, did she have a point? She couldn’t possibly count the number of times he had sat with her to have tea, held her close, or wiped away her tears-

“Elyse!” The sudden yell from behind her made her flinch, before she quickly turned around and gasped.

[frowerssx2]

I agree Star is utterly pointless. Adorable yes, but pointless. In fact, it literally almost gets Asha court (twice?) during the song: "is this the thanks I Get?!". I hate how it didn't lead Asha, like why couldn't it have it own thoughts and feelings beside being sad, confused and happy? Why didn't take control up in the wish chamber and be all like "nah, I'm going to float ALL these wishes out of these windowless arches and free them all and not only the two you selfishly told me to get".

I personally think that Disney should have kept star as a Magical shape-shifting being. Or kept it as Asha's grandfather coming down to help her free the wishes from her evil parents (can you imagine Sabino/Star floating in a window ot at the final battle and being all like "Oh, Magnifico, my son what have you turned into?" (None of this romantic stuff, I personally can't ship star with asha after leaning that one of the original ideas was to make it her Grandfather)

But, doing whatever Asha wants is a flaw every character has in the film. No one questions her or tries to take over the situation. Not even Amaya (who is a reasonable adult who has spent YEARS supporting Magnifico's wish system) maybe Daliha does it a little when she's all like "Wait, you questioned the king???" And "you want to steal your grandfather's wish?" But she is very easily dismissed by Asha and I hate it. Why can't anyone just tell Asha that what she is doing is wrong? That the people of Rosas literally already agreed to let Magnifico protect their wishes and decide whether or not they get granted and it was a decision they were perfectly fine with until Asha twisted things.

Also, also future note here. But, just like you said we are told that Star can't grant wishes. But it can free then? Which was technically Asha's wish so it's literally granting her wish even though we were told it couldn't do that (because unlike what other people might say, it wasn't Asha who returned and freed the wishes from their orb forms, Star did)

I didn't realise that Asha also broke the rule about not wishing until 18. But now you mention it, I hate it. It shows exactly why Magnifico wanted to wait until people were that age as they would be an adult and not a hormonal teenager who couldn't take a very reasonable no as an answer. Asha is so selfish and naive it's ridiculous.

This movie has so much potential to be so much better than what it is. But now it feels too rushed and Asha seems too selfish and arrogant (in my opinion) everything had to be done her way and nothing else.

One of the problems I personally have with Asha is that she asks Magnifico to return ALL the ungranted wishes and gets angry/upset when he refuses. But yet, at the first opportunity she had to do that herself (which is what she kinda wished to do) she only asks Star to free her Saba's and mother's wishes. She only thinks about freeing the other wishes when Magnifico gets corrupted by the evil book and begins to destroy them. So, why couldn't she and Star free all the wishes when they broke into the Wish Chamber? Why did she say she was only going back for her mother's at her house and not all of them now she knows she can free them? She even says that Star won't go back to the sky until all the wishes are free so why didn't she do it in the first place?? She had all that time Star was looking for the two wishes she specifically wanted, to free them all. So why didn't she?

[florelia12]

What If Scenario - Helia didn’t have feelings for Flora…at first.

An AU where its more of a friends to lovers for Helia and love at first sight for Flora. One-sided pining until it’s almost too late.

So, it starts with Flora and Helia and their iconic meeting. Flora falls for him but Helia’s just like “hm, nice girl.” He makes a habit out of drawing people/strangers and gives it to them. But, Flora starts to develop a crush on him because of the drawing and also because he’s hot.

They organically become friends, with Flora (retaining her wonderful season 1 personality) making an effort to get to know him. This happens because he is assigned to the squad and is having a hard time adjusting. At one point, Flora confesses to him she feels left out too because Aisha and her used to be close until Musa and Aisha became closer. She’s not jealous because she knows Aisha cares about her but it does make her feel a little bit like no one in their group really gets her.

Helia has trauma (ofc he does) and is hesitant to make friends. Why? Because his old squad were assholes to him and when a mission went wrong, a lot of people got hurt and they blamed it all on him thinking they’d get away with it since he is Saladin’s grandson. Did that happen? Ofc not. Helia being Helia didn’t argue and simply accepted his fate. Saladin kind of forced him to take a break from RF, go for therapy and try and get his shit together. Hence, the gap year at a local art school on Magix proceeded by him showing up again on Saladin’s doorstep and refusing to leave since he almost died at the end of season 1.

Helia tries to convince Saladin that he is ready to be back. Saladin has his doubts. He puts him with Sky’s team and Helia thinks its a test because who are these lovable dysfunctional idiots but really it’s because Saladin knows he’ll fit right in. Now he just has to convince Saladin (truly, himself) that he is meant to be a Specialist and so they go on missions and yada yada. Back to where I trailed off…

He’s truly not interested in relationships right now because he has way too much on his plate but he does grow fond of Flora and appreciates the efforts she puts in to make him part of the group. Even helps her out with her own insecurities and helping her gain her Charmix. They become close and the closer they get the more Flora is reluctant to ever confess.

The girls hound her about it, the boys assume Helia has any idea that Flora has a crush on him but nothing happens because angst is what keeps us alive. ALSO. Helia, Flora and Aisha friendship with Aisha being stuck in the middle of these oblivious idiots after Helia and Aisha bond over being the newbies —- something she was forced into after Flora pushing her but then ends up genuinely enjoy Helia’s friendship proceeded by Helia helping Flora get closer to Aisha again after they drifted for a while there.

So now Helia reaches a point around in season 3 right before Eraklyon’s Anniversary Party (i think we all know where this is going 🐉 ) and he realises when Sky invites him that he really is a part of the squad and that they are really his friends. Its like his moment of realising that hey he’s on the other side and reached the end of the tunnel. Like. He’s happy. He’s healthy. So, he agrees to go to the ball/party idk

Now. We love a little jealous moment during the pining stage. So, Stella sets Flora up with a date for the party — maybe Brandon’s cousin or Sky’s friend (she knows what she’s doing). Then, casually assigns Aisha as Helia’s date which he is fine about until he sees Flora in the ballgown ( cue that scene when Brandon’s jaw drops after seeing Stella at her Princess Ball ). Now he’s not too happy about Flora having a date to the ball. Does he talk to her about it? No. He sulks in one corner in true Helia style because hopping planets isn’t an option right now and his therapist told him no.

Aisha decides to give him a wake up call. Helia’s like pft no, Flora doesn’t like me like that she’s nice to everyone. Aisha tries not to hit him. At some point, Helia had told Flora he wasn’t looking for a relationship and wasn’t ready and she was like good for you I support you 100% bestie even though she was dying on the inside (haha wonder where that was inspired from, definitely not projecting what). So, Flora never made any move on him.

He asks if Flora still has a crush on him. Aisha refuses to tell him. He gets frustrated and then gets even more frustrated seeing Flora dancing with the other guy because what if she’s moved on which he would have appreciated before he had the epiphany at the worst time possible. Decides to impulsively cut in and Flora’s like huh but then stupid Sky (i love him) decides its the perfect time to announce his love for Blo- nope, Diaspro.

They all get distracted trying to run from certain death at the hand of their friend turned cruel prince (cardan my beloved but thats not relevant). Flora then gets attacked by Sky’s dragon.

Angst.

Helia finally realises that shit he loves her. She’s his best friend and he can’t lose her <\3 Tries not to breakdown and fails miserably. Therapist tells him its good he is feeling his feelings because they are annoying like that (the good ones are life-savers)

Flora doesn’t die and Helia was a little overdramatic because Magic makes healing faster and less painful. But, now he needs to deal with his feelings for his best friend which is what he calls her when she wakes up and shes like aw, same <3.

Flora senses the shift in him but remains oblivious to his awkward flirting and thinks he is being extra sweet since she was hurt. Aisha is trying not to pull out her hair.

Flora gets her Enchantix, Helia is still miserably in love but then starts to avoid her because he is so confused and he does not want to ruin his friendship with her. Flora is sad but she’s too busy saving the world so they stay quietly missing each other

Then Tecna gets sucked into the Omega portal. Helia is there for her again, no longer avoiding her and he helps her through it. She tells him she was afraid that another friend grew tired of her or bored and drifted away. She feels like she tries to be there for people and a shoulder to cry on but after a point its all she is. Sometimes she thinks that’s all she knows. She thought this time it’d be different.

Helia almost confesses but knows this isn’t the right time because she is grieving. But he assures her that she is not forgettable or replacable. Tries to make her believe it but she doesn’t seem so convinced. Internally beats himself up but his therapist assures him that healing is not linear (i need to text back mine)

They save Tecna, hurrah and now Nabu is in the picture. Hello, Aisha 😏

They go to the Red Tower looking for Water Stars. Riven and Helia stay behind, Flora sends the cute little video message and Riven sees Nabu and gets ready to throw hands

When Helia tries to stop him, Riven calls him out and says hey at least im fighting for the girl i like. Helia’s like da fuck? Does everyone know but me? Riven calls him stupid and then leaves him to his overthinking in his towel. (Yall know what scene im talking about)

Anyways, they get the Water Stars and they come back but Flora’s quiet again. Helia tries to get her to open up and she tells him her test in the crystal labyrinth was about her worst fear of being forgotten. That if she wanted the water stars, she would have to choose to be forgotten by everyone, that they forget they ever knew her. Of course she chose that path because the universe was more impt than that.

Even though the council of elders eventually restored the sacrifices, for a while no one remembered she existed and that’s terrifying.

Helia tells her he can’t imagine a world without her in it. Cue intense eye contact and then they kiss.

Finally. Cue Aisha’s florelia senses tingling like that Charles scene in b99 with peraltiago (please understand this reference)

Flora is the first to pull away thinking she kissed him even though it was very much a simultaneous effort from both parties. She panics and apologises. Helia is hurt that she looks like she regrets every decision she has ever made in her life but understands. She runs away. (Girl, same)

The last one of the gang turns 18 so they decide to go to the club for the first time. Since Aisha had Nabu now, Stella declares that Helia will be Flora’s date. Are they happy about it since they’ve been avoiding each other? Nope. Do they say no? Also no.

They sit awkwardly in the club once the pairs start pairing off. Not talking until Flora can’t stand the silence and apologises again. Says she doesn’t want to lose him as a friend. Helia agrees even though he wants to be more. They are okay for a bit before Valtor that diva sky-telecasts his challenge to duel the headmasters.

More angst and so this is why this will never be written out into a fic as my patience is a thin as my hair.

Helia is worried about Saladin but Saladin assures him Helia is ready to be on his own if anything should happen to him during the duel. He isn’t afraid to leave Helia behind because he knows he has his people now.

Then he tells him to tell Flora how he feels.

How does Saladin know? He gives some weird wise sarcastic answer like “I’m all-knowing” but really it’s because Faragonda told him. She’s the one that’s actually “all-knowing” aka invades the privacy of her fav students and ships them.

Final battle with Valtor happens. Flora returns safely and they do share the hug at the end of the episode. Helia decided to tell her how he feels but at a better time and they agree to sit down and talk about it once its all over.

Is it over yet? Haha no. Valtor is still alive, kidnaps the specialists and leaves Helia behind. On the way to save his friends, he walks off to the back of the ship and admits to Flora he feels like he failed to protect him. She comforts him and he tells her that he was so scared he wont make it out alive. That Valtor was going to kill him. She starts tearing up.

He tells her that all he could think about as he possibly faced his last moments was not telling her how he felt. She tells him she has feelings for him too. But, ofc the moment doesn’t last and they are pulled back into the cockpit.

Now. It’s over for reals. Stella throws another Princess Ball because I would too if i got turned into a monster halfway at my first one.

After all the intense moments and will they won’t they moments and pining and anticipation… they finally have a good, soft Florelia moment and they get together. The end.

[lucabyte]

i'm so curious about your character gender reads now tho 👀👀

(You enter the kitchen and see me, eating shredded cheese out of the fridge by the handful)

(I turn around to face you.)

Hi. Do you want me to sell you on amab NB Siffrin? I'm going to try and sell you on amab NB Siffrin. And maybe even a little bit of tranfem siffrin and/or loop. as a treat. just for you.

So, (I put the cheese back in the fridge.)

This read of mine comes from a number of things, a lot of them to do with the game's themes, and to do with Siffrin being a narrative foil to the other characters. And Vaugarde as a whole.

(READMORE WARNING: THIS IS LIKE 6K WORDS LONG. YOU ALL SHOULD KNOW BY NOW I DON'T MAKE POSTS WITHOUT UNCONSCIOUNABLE AMOUNTS OF EVIDENCE AND EXPLANATION. IF ANYTHING I'M BEING RESTRAINED HERE. THUMBS UP.)

(Pre-readmore note: this is in response to me having given an analysis of how I personally percieve Sifloop in relation to asexuality and shipping. Which you can look at here. (x))

It is however, not what my like, no-holds-barred no-rules just-for-me headcanon for Siffrin would be. (which is intersex 'head empty no thoughts' siffrin, for the record). This is instead my close-reading-of-the-text-and-themes interpretation of Siffrin. This is why I'm gonna be saying Read and not Headcanon, to distinguish the two. (Anything I consider a little bit too much of a stretch vis a vis interpretive hard reads I will call a headcanon. But those are for the last bit of this post.)

Unlike *gestures at mass media* All That… ISAT is already packed to the gills with queer rep, to the point where I feel no need to grasp at straws and make overextended reaches into obviously unintended subtext. Like with, y'know, most media. Since here, the subtext isn't unintended. Like this isn't a Transfem Metal Sonic or Aroace Ash Ketchum situation where I know none of the evidence is on purpose and I'm just having fun making a conspiracy theory pinboard out of it. This is like… There's intentionality there. And I want to engage with it on its level, see what the text itself suggests. It's my personal preferred method of expressing deep respect to a text. (Not that it has to be anyone else's, obviously. This is just my way of showing I love a work.)

So yeah, I am, in general, very interested in hearing hard-fought arguments when it comes to interpreting texts. I'm glad ISAT has a lot to pick at here, and so, I will. (and since not a lot of texts ever have anywhere near this kind of depth in this arena, i don't wanna squander it… i'll try and keep my own biases as in check as i can, and already have done by hashing quite a bit of this interpretation out with two people of very different gender identities to mine. To put it mildly, binary-aligned or transfem I am very squarely Not.)

(Now that the cheese bag has been removed from the equation, I drop this framing device, sit you down at the table and begin to dredge up evidence from below it.)

Okay, so. What are my like… Core reasonings here? I think I can split it into three categories. Broadly, with an amount of overlap, so bear with me…

SIFFRIN AS A FOIL AND CONTRAST TO MIRABELLE, ISABEAU AND THE CHANGE RELIGION AS A WHOLE.

SIFFRIN'S HABITS OF CLINGING TO 'KNOWN QUANTITIES', SCAPEGOATS, AND THEMES OF RACIAL IDENTITY INTERSECTING WITH GENDER IDENTITY.

SIFFRIN, LOOP, DE-PERSONING, DEHUMANISING, APATHY AND SURVIVAL.

Okay so up top I'm going to split my argument for Siffrin's gender identity Present and Future here. This means, for now, I'm arguing for AMAB NB Siffrin alone. The transfem stuff is for later (and more for loop, in my mind, too).

I have a few direct observations of the text here that set things up. Here are the things in-game that make me assume that Siffrin, as of the start of the game, has not yet undergone any radical change to their identity in their life. Not on purpose, at least. These are ordered in a messy but logical flow, so uh, try and keep up. I'll synthesise at the end. I Prommy.

SIFFRIN AS A FOIL AND CONTRAST TO MIRABELLE, ISABEAU AND THE CHANGE RELIGION AS A WHOLE.

CHANGE & THE UNIVERSE: PERCEIVED OPPOSITES

When interacting with most objects in the Changing Room in the house, they express a genuine curiosity toward body craft. It seems they are legitimately unfamiliar with it on a deeper level than having simply heard of it.

Despite this curiosity (explicitly stating they've previously wondered about it), they dismiss it as too much work early on in the game. These points combined seem to suggest to me that they have never previously sought out any kind of real change to their appearance or identity. Either for gender reasons, or other body dysmorphia reasons. (Which, despite the dismissal, they do refer to their body as a 'meat prison', which is not particularly positive) However...

This changes in Act 3. In acts 3 and 4 they flatly state: "You're thinking about crafting your body. You seem to have all the time in the world now." While still never spoken aloud, their declining mental state corrosponds with a worn-down, almost nihilistic reckoning with the feelings they masked with the 'meat prison' joke in act 2.

[Image: Interactions with the change craft textbook in acts 2 and 3/4.]

In talking to Mirabelle, they are very self assured that one can stay the same/be comfortable with their born identity. They also seem a little unsettled by the change religion's flippancy in general, which makes sense, as they have been clinging to the famliar (even when painful) to cope with other traumas. (More on this later, section 2)

The Universe Faith appears to heavily disincentivise Wanting for oneself and other expressions of Free Will due to safeguarding against Wish craft. This seems to have impacted Siffrin's mental state majorly, even if they do not recognise it. The followers of the faith are (if Siffrin is to be believed) incentivised to 'go with the flow' and take paths of least resistance, and those that DO make big decisions will tend to justify things as being The Universe's Will. (See: The King's entire Modus Operandi, and the way Loop (and Siffrin) do the same rote actions, constructing worldviews (the play analogy, the Universe's Will) and justify that as what the Universe Would Want (despite a total lack of evidence to prove as such)) As such, it seems as if a follower of this faith as neurotic as Siffrin would be unlikely to act upon any Wants to Change Themselves without a lot of turmoil and backwards-justification. (Of note, Loop's forcible change coinciding with a dropping of pronoun. But that is again for later, section 3) As of the start of the game, they do not appear to have broached this kind of turmoil directly.

[Image: Act 5 interaction with the star journal, emphasis on it being a cautionary tale against reckless usage of wish craft, instilled so deeply to be a children's bedtime story]

Siffrin, in act 5, grows frustrated with both The Universe and The Change God, feeling abandoned by the former. They struggle with simultaneously anthropomorphising the Universe as a cruel onlooker, while also seemingly acknowledging them as a cold, almost scientific fact of nature. This would heavily imply that the 'blame' put upon the Universe by Siffrin in these moments is known to them, at least a little, to be potentially meaningless. It seems that somewhere in Siffrin's belief system is something, be it the core or merely a creeping worry, that the Universe is not a thinking, feeling, thing. And thus that their invocations of "The Universe's Will" are merely rationalisations of random chance and consequence. This is in DIRECT contrast to the Change God, proven to be an emotive sapient entity, who merely refuses to offer a helping hand. (Similar sentiments are, too, spoken by the Change God itself.)

[Images: Interacting with the window in the observatory in act 5, text from the change god meeting]

So. These are the bulk of my observations when it comes to how Siffrin is positioned in contrast to the Change Belief. It would seem to be that Siffrin, inkeeping with their role as an outsider, is a complete fish out of water in Vaugarde's change-centric world. This makes sense! It makes them a compelling foil to the Vaugardians in our cast, and allows the Vaugardians to challenge Siffrin's worldviews merely by existing. It also, more importantly, makes Siffrin an interesting lens through which to inspect our two most Change-driven characters. Mirabelle and Isabeau.

MIRABELLE.

Mirabelle and Siffrin's differing faiths are put on display the most frequently. Interactions like the circle key and the party's disbelief of Siffrin's facts about the stars make this clear. These interactions other Siffrin from the group further, and are another avenue through which Siffrin can ignore their own needs, not communicating with the party and allowing them to dismiss things he deems important.

Obviously, the friendquest is primarily about Mirabelle's struggle with her aromanticism and asexuality. But there's an implicit undercurrent of gender there too. Mirabelle has never made a big change, not like Isabeau. She has never 'changed completely', by her words. And Siffrin distinctly finds this an odd thing to be worried by. Whatever culture he carries has no pressure to explore these avenues, it seems. Siffrin is able to help her by sharing their honest opinions, that he's never felt the need to change these things, and he's happy (allegedly). Why should she?

[Image: Mirabelle's friendquest text] Siffrin is not thinking particularly hard when he first does the friendquests, they are just being themselves. By positioning Siffrin as this unchanged yet confident object, they are in the perfect position to help Mirabelle by being in her almost exact position, both sexuality and transgender status (albeit, with the caveats of potential alloromanticism, and a they pronoun), that they become her ideal foil. (And in fact, the subtle differences between their positions in canon add to this, showing a display of Perceived Genuine Truth, rather than simple in-group camaraderie)

Whereas…

ISABEAU.

When Mal du pays speaks as Isabeau, it says the following;

"I don't want to know someone who won't even try to change, who luxuriates in things staying the exact same like you do."

I don't want to know someone - Shame of being known, that's Isabeau's insecurity. Reflected back at Siffrin, who has become the worst thing imaginable to each of their friends, in Siffrin's own mind. He absorbs their insecurities like a sponge and incorporates them into himself. Empathy turned ill.

Who luxuriates in things staying the exact same - Now THAT'S interesting. This is not Isabeau's insecurity, it's Siffrin's own. But also, it appears as if, Siffrin, whom to Mirabelle was unflappable in that not changing was alright, has internalised some of her worry. That it is MDP's Isabeau saying this, though, shows this is about Personal Change, perhaps even Specifically Gender and Self Image, rather than Mirabelle's spiritual side.

Isabeau and his distinct change in personality and gender, to become someone who he actually likes… Diametric to Siffrin, who has been stagnant for a long time, presumably as far as they can remember. It would seem to imply they have no recourse against this argument. Siffin becomes, in his mind, the opposite to Isabeau, a man he deeply admires the bravery of when told the story of his Change. These are Siffrin's words against themselves, that they consider themselves to have never even 'tried' whatever it is they think Change to be.

So. These are my main points vis a vis: Siffrin as a foil. This reading would posit that Siffrin's He/They status is, well, almost accidental? Which I would imagine befitting of them. They are, at the start of the game, still the mysterious rogue who never elaborates upon anything. They aren't going to be correcting a they/them from a teammate who is likely far more cautious about assumptions.

Notably, Mirabelle excludes Siffrin from the label "man" in the bathroom monologues… But as does Siffrin when in the prologue poem room. Though one needs remember, Siffrin only expresses these thoughts internally.

[Image: Bathroom conversation featuring Isabeau identified as the party's singular man]

[Image: Prologue!Siffrin expressing that they are not a man in very certain terms.]

While I do wonder what Mirabelle's knowledge (or lack thereof, potentially! Did Siffrin actually divulge this to her, once? Or is she making assumptions again?) is here, this is pretty clear evidence that Siffrin doesn't see themselves As A Man. (that, and Adrienne's word of god "fella" comments). I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this… but.

The thesis here is, that Siffrin may want to explore their gender further; doesn't feel connected to Masculinity, and yet, keeps that He pronoun around? Well, the Universe does not, in Siffrin's mind, really allow for personal wants and desires. If their friends start they/themming them, then cool. They like it, but never requested it, so it's the Universe's will. But, asking? Making decisions and requests and rocking the boat? That seems to scare Siffrin a lot. It seems to scare them so much it causes a lot of, if not all of, the conflict in the game. I feel like it's a fair deduction that this aversion to humour their own desires pervades a lot of their existence.

Plus, I think there's meat there. By only allowing Siffrin to reckon with any potential desires to change only after growing closer with the family, you get to explore things like "How does Mirabelle feel that even the person who said she didn't have to change is changing." and the slightly less potentially harrowing (OR MORE, IF YOU WANT IT TO BE? IDK. I'M NOT YOUR BOSS.) "Isa's continued changing allows Siffrin a space to explore it, maybe even just by proxy, or maybe by joining them."

But mostly, this section is about how Siffrin not having Changed Yet makes them delightfully strong narratively; allowing them to relate to Mirabelle, and get cold feet when comparing themselves to Isabeau. I love this as a narrative strengthener. It's very rare in media that we get to explore a nonbinary character's thoughts and insecurities on whether or not they're "doing enough" to be nonbinary. Even less so Aligned nonbinary people. And reading that alignment and insecurity through the lens of a nonbinary person not fully disconnected from their assigned gender at birth? It's a very compelling exploration of a very common and raw and yet underdiscussed feeling, much like the rest of ISAT. I think this is an extremely potent element should it be read this way, and is only strengthened when taking Siffrin's other themes into account.

Speaking of which.

2. SIFFRIN'S HABITS OF CLINGING TO 'KNOWN QUANTITIES', SCAPEGOATS, AND THEMES OF RACIAL IDENTITY INTERSECTING WITH GENDER IDENTITY.

HOLDING ON TO WHAT YOU KNOW. (OR KNOW THAT YOU DO NOT.)

I explained above many of my thoughts on the Universe Faith, and trying to keep these two sections separate was difficult, but needed to be done for the sake of clarity. But this section and the above are deeply intertwined.

Siffrin… Holds on to the things they know. They do not know much. But man do they fucking hold. And yet, paradoxically, they are also avoidant about it.

It is made clear in the text, to the point where I really don't feel the need to rehash it here, that Siffrin's disconnection from their homeland is incredibly painful, but that they consider that culture utterly and irreplaceably important to them. They cannot face it, it is too painful. They cannot let it go, it is too important.

Knowing what we know of the Island's irl inspirations (though, word of god, the exact location is not supposed to matter, one can infer it from the text (and I did! within reasonable proximity!)), Siffrin is of an indigenous peoples of some description, more than likely. And at the very least, Siffrin carries with them inherent biases and ignorances that show that Vaugarde's conceptions of things don't quite mesh with their own. Bowing to the Vaugardian way of things could very easily be seen as assimilation, in this way.*

And identity? Gender? Presentation? Role? All of that has a cultural element. There's no telling what specifics Siffrin has lost in that arena, and that's the problem. Neither do they. How paralysing, the feeling, to know that should you change yourself you risk unknowingly erasing another piece of home? I wouldn't blame them for locking it off. Keeping their old clothes, keeping what little they can remember of themselves… It doesn't seem to me a conducive or safe mental space to get experimental.

And the Universe makes for a perfect scapegoat. As referenced in the section above, a lot can be justified should you call it "The Universe's Will", because who's there to call you on it? Hardly anyone. Your divine right to Freeze A Place In Time; Your Deserved Punishment for Wanting to be Loved: All of it the Universe-- If you want it to be. And thusly, if the Universe wanted you to be a certain way, wouldn't you already be? Wouldn't it make you so? (Wouldn't it take away your body, that which makes you human? If that is what it thought of you?) So best to put it out of your mind. Wouldn't want to accidentally wish anything.

But as the game itself puts it, personified by The King, you cannot stay mired like this forever. As Loop themselves puts it, they can "get so fixated, sometimes." At some point they need to allow themselves to grow in whatever direction they need, because in the end, they need to live their life. They don't need to abandon their country, their culture, but they can't let it restrain them either.

(* MASSIVE CAVEAT: im white as fuck boyyy. i cant say shit. im like technically Of The Land im like 90% pictish or something ridiculous like that so my particular line has never moved anywhere but. this is notttt something i have input or insight on. this is all gleaned from reading and listening to indiginous perspectives from wherever they may be. i am simply trying to infer from what the game gives us without inserting my own feelings on the matter.)

3. SIFFRIN, LOOP, DE-PERSONING, DEHUMANISING, APATHY AND SURVIVAL.

Alright, here's some less heady and purely-thematic points to round things out. And where we'll also address the fucked up star being in the room; Loop.

My last couple of reading points are the most potentially-transfem to me. Or at least the ones that really hammer home, to me, a seeming lack of want to be masculine-aligned.

ANOTHER NOTE ON THE 'NOT A GUY' THING.

Obviously, there is the aforementioned "Not a man/not that you're a boy" thing. This is rather straightforward, but also still pretty ambiguous. You can be masc-aligned and still Not A Guy. But it does seem to be of note that being a guy very much does not seem to be a goal of Siffrin's. I would posit this in direct contrast to… Isabeau.

But not Isabeau's masculinity. I would instead hold it up against Isa's femininity.

ISAT, as a text, has its characters have genuinely different levels of security in their gender identity, and Isabeau, despite still having insecurities, seems super chill on the gender angle specifically! Their internal strife comes not from their 'not feeling like a man enough' or 'hating being a woman', but instead from their self perception as a friendless nerd! Something that seems to be only tangentially related to Isa's gender, really?

The big dumb bruiser thing is certainly aided by being a dude, but Isa still seems completely comfortable referring to themselves with feminine language, calling himself a "mother hen" (prologue) and having "the heart of a fair maiden" (cookie snack time). (However, they also take being excluded from Mira's girly book club as a surprised compliment, implying they weren't expected to be excluded, and find it affirming.) And even further so, Isa states they want to continue changing further and exploring their identity more, being rather blatant that they might lean back into femininity (and more importantly, let themselves be outwardly smart again), since they're starting to feel hurt by everyone assuming they ARE genuinely stupid.

[Image: Prologue Isa calling himself a mother hen]

And man, this is such a breath of fresh air vis a vis representation. I don't think I really need to explain that. A character who's gender identity is driven by chasing euphoria, even if it started out by trying to drive out misery. Isabeau's character is so damn good. But this essay isn't about him, so get back in the crate, boy.

... So here we have Isa, who is genuinely comfortable reclaiming things about their birth gender, and Mirabelle who loves her traditionally feminine traits to the point where she feels a little guilty that she isn't rejecting them to foster change. And then we have Siffrin… who seems to reject masculine language…? Hrm… (… And then we have The King. A Masculine Title. Someone who Siffrin increasingly sees themselves in and deeply, deeply dislikes this.)

APATHY AND SURVIVAL

It should be clear by now that I see Siffrin's core character as being driven by avoidance and survival. This seems to lead to a lot of apathy, brushing off emotions that are too intense or events and occurences that are too painful. (See: just absolutely everything with Bonnie)

It's all Siffrin really seems to be able to do to Survive. They've travelled, seemingly alone, for what would be around a decade by what the game says about the island's disappearance. They've lived alone on the road as a traveller in a country that so openly welcomes strangers that THE KING and his whole motives can happen. Siffrin is avoidant and refuses to acknowledge problems or strive for help and comfort.

So. That line about the dress. Let's unpack the line(s) about the dress.

THE DRESS LINE, AND THE WAY IT CHANGES BETWEEN PROLOGUE, ACT 2, AND ACT 3.

Good god where to start with this. Full disclosure, the first draft here was way more vague in how I approached this line because I remembered it (and another line, I'll get to it.) way more tame, but going and getting the screenshots..... Siffrin. Buddy. We gotta unpack this.

In act 2, we have "You haven't worn a dress in forever!". This is a neutral, if seemingly a little joyous statement. All we really glean from this is the information that Siffrin at some point, wore 'a' dress. No real inferences there. (Maybe you could say that the singular as opposed to plural makes it more likely that they borrowed/only owned One Dress rather than owned several? But that's a massive stretch...)

Then, act 3/4 shuffles this off into a more general "You wonder if you'll ever wear different clothes again." Which is a more despairing and distant statement. Considering Siffrin seems to travel with only the items they can carry, and owns sleep clothes... It's unclear how many changes of clothing they have. The party seems to consider the cloak a pretty permanent fixture, anyhow. But this line doesn't really say much aside from 'oh god i'm losing myself to the time loop malaise'

NOW THE PROLOGUE. Prologue Sif, buddy, pal, Loop, if I'm allowed to call you that....

Thousands of loops in. We are wistful for specifically dresses. You've forgotten almost everything. You dream about someday seeing the sun again. To be anywhere but here. You want to wear a dress again.

I. Kind of do not know what to do here but point at it. Like I said, my first draft had me half-remembering the progression of this line and as such I was far more vague on what I thought it could imply. Instead this is just straight up yearning.

To, try and segue back to what I had initially written, we'll pick up here...

Siffrin expresses a want to wear other clothes, explore changing their body... But instead, they wear a ratty old form-covering cloak that keeps them warm and safe and is a last reminder of home. They are shapeless, formless, hiding their face under the brim of a wide hat. They do not voice their desire to wear a dress aloud. They once again, keep a desire to themselves, because they do not allow themselves to want publicly. Apathy is safer. Apathy and quiet means you do not risk retribution or hurt.

While I do not think the above is exclusively a transfeminine feeling, it really, really reads like one when taken part and parcel with assuming Siffrin has denied themselves prior exploration.

... And here I have to break my first draft again. I was being, once again, restrained in my reading when writing this. Because I had convinced myself I had maybe straight up imagined one of the lines I was basing my reads on, because I couldn't find it. Because it was a line that read so strikingly desolate to me that my brain had slotted it in during Act Five, meaning when I went looking for it neither me nor my friends could find it.

It's in acts 3 and 4. It's a line I already brought up.

"You're thinking about crafting your body. You seem to have all the time in the world now."

good fucking christ. sorry to break the academic tone but Jimminy Fucking Willikers, Siffrin. What's with that bit. The resignation and despair and guilty comfort we know the timeloop brings them, bleeding into the gender.

This. *taps my finger harshly on my desk* THIS, this feels transfem. this feels so wildly transfem to me. The knowledge that they've never changed before this line lends. The admission that they've been holding back because it's 'too much work'. I spent a lot of time during the game relating Siffrin not to myself but to my friends.

If I'm honest, really, truly, I'm not all too often in Siffrin's shoes. I'm the stable one, of my group. I'm the rock people ground themselves on. And I see so much hesitance, all the time. Denial of joy because what if it's taken away, again? Or futilely out of reach? It hurts more to try, and to fail, than to never try at all.

I wanted to shake Siffrin by the shoulders this whole game. Grit teeth beg them to accept help because for fuck's sake people are clearly offering it get it through your skull--

*coughs* Ah. Ahem. Right. The uh, academic tone.

Right. What I mean to say is, this read as transfem to me because of the way it relates to real-world experiences of denial. And this combo of the Dress line, and the progression of the Meat Prison line, the constant evidence of never having strived for what they want, and that insistance that you're not a man, seem to dislike being percieved as a man, but not being able to shed the outward signifiers?

Individually, yes, these points can be read in different ways. The total opposite ways, even, I'm sure! But as a gestalt it feels really, really transfem. Even if yeah, sure Vaugarde is a magical setting where being transgender is accepted, and this hesitance, specifically, around gender, might not 'make sense' in 'the lore'...

Diegesis isn't everything. Sometimes something that reflects a real-world feeling is important, even if it doesn't 'mesh' with 'the lore' of the world.

TANGENT: DIEGESIS AND READING INTO NON-REAL-WORLD-SETTINGS.

This is a Watsonian vs Doylist spectre that's been haunting this whole argument. In-universe (Watsonian), Vaugarde has seemingly no discrimination between genders, sexualities, and a lackadaisical approach to most things in the arena. Reading our own patriarchal/heterosexual/amanonormative/perisexist society unto it does not make sense, not in this context.

In the real world, however (Doylist), ISAT is a text made in our prejudiced society. A text that is distinctly flavoured by those bigotries which it is kicking back against. Because of this, it is not the whole story to simply read the text while discarding our real-world-informed inferences. Isabeau is a big example of this. While perfectly accepted in Vaugarde, he is very obviously a revolutionary character in our real-world space! He has so much to say, specifically BECAUSE things about him that are not readily accepted here, are accepted there! Same with Mira's struggles, and yes, Siffrin's too.

ISAT was written with the knowledge of how it would play against our real world in mind, we know this, clearly, from many an interview. This is most present in how it engages with asexuality and aromanticism (and immigrant identity), but make no mistake, it influences the Whole Text.

Ergo, just because I view certain writing choices here in the context of Our Real World Perspectives On Gender and not Vaugarde's In-Universe Perspectives, it does not make them an invalid read. They are simply a Doylist read.

There's been an admittedly loosey-goosey lack of delineation here between things I'm reading with either lens, because for the most part all of these points have been a vague synthesis of both that I can't quite decouple. Unprofessional, I know, but I'll admit to not having written my thoughts down like this in a good long while. Usually I just hash this out verbally over discord voice to a small number of weirdo literature and classics student friends who are willing to humour me. I'm an arts student too, but animation hardly required I actually write an essay to a literature degree's standard. Lol.

DE-PERSONING. AND LOOP. OH JESUS . LOOP .

Siffrin de-persons themselves a lot. I say de-person rather than dehumanise because, well, there's a subtle difference there. Siffrin doesn't see themselves as vermin or an animal or an object, but they do seem to see themselves as lesser, not requiring the respect they grant others. They aren't, you know, a 'real person'.

People get to have things like thoughts and wants and identities. Siffrin is, at best, Just Siffrin. They have what they have and they don't ask for more and they don't (CAN'T) feel too strongly on what they do have!

When Loop at first offers their pronouns they offer the Royal 'We'. This is at least a little bit, a joke. A nudge toward their true identity, a potential dig at themselves for becoming so understanding of The King. Mostly though, a joke on the first thing…. and a sign that they do not see themselves as a separate entity to the Siffrin stood before them.

When Siffrin rejects this, they settle for they/them. Loop drops the he/him, presumably partially to cover their tracks, but… They just showed their hand with the 'Royal We', and if you wanted to go even further with this, there's no way for us to know whether Loop is treating this pronoun as singular or not. They presumably are, but it is still a potentially plural pronoun.

Loop… Clearly does not see themselves as a person. It's, I would say, a completely reasonable assumption that the form they have taken reflects implicit feelings toward themselves as less than a person, an actor, a monster, a tool, a means to an end. They are rendered inhuman by The Universe, frivolous distractions removed. No mouth, inventory and clothes confiscated, nothing between the legs. Formed roughly in the shape of a person to allow them to do their only job: Help.

Loop's body does not make logical sense, given their continued ability to sleep, dream and their continued habit of deep breaths to self-soothe. It would seem to me, it was made in the image it was, with only the tools it needed to Help Siffrin. Why obfuscate their identity? Because giving the game away too early would likely make them lose hope. Why so deeply, thoroughly star themed? An instant signal, that even if a stranger, they are an ally. They are home.

[Image: Loop saying that they take naps and dream, and evidence of Loop habitually attempting to breathe in the twohats lose-to-loop ending]

And they… Degender themselves. No longer with any bodily signifiers of masculinity, and cruelly disallowed the ability to hide themselves beneath fabric, they are null. The spoiler Q&A (paratext, as it were) states that:

Q. Is Loop: 1. Actually comfortable with both he and they, but only gave the one pronoun to emphasize the distance? 2. Only using they/them because a large life event led to a shift in identity/ how they’d like to be perceived? or 3. time lops stole he from they they :( A. Mostly that first one. But all three of those reasons have a bit of truth to them.

While the 'mostly the first one' comment does imply that Loop would not baulk at being he/him'd (similar to how Siffrin does not), the other reasons, especially the second, having 'a bit of truth' does lend credence to this reading. That Loop's self-perception has shifted, and what I posit, is that this shift is in tandem with a disconnection with humanity. Due, presumably, to the dehumanising experience of the timeloop.

Loop has no biology to speak of, and yet they remain blind in one eye. I take this as an implication that they considered this so core to themselves, to who they could remember being, that it stayed. Even if they had forgotten their own face, trapped in a part of the house with no mirrors, they knew they couldn't see. They kept this, and yet seemingly they, or The Universe, or both of them in tandem, discarded all else.

This isn't like…. Healthy behaviour. That is for certain. But it is interesting that Siffrin and Loop seem to hold on to their masculinity by a thread, and that Loop, when actually given the excuse to make a choice, chooses the Neutral Option. Siffrin might de-person themselves, but Loop, Loop is absolutely dehumanising themselves. From Loop's own mouth (or lack thereof) do they call themselves a Corpse. That's… pretty damn bad.

TANGENT 2: POTENTIAL IMPLICATIONS OF THE JAPANESE TRANSLATION.

Did somebody say 'distance'? Yeah turns out that has some more potential evidence. In the form of First Person Pronouns. See, English, with its third person only pronouns relies on others to gender you. Japanese, you get to gender yourself. And Siffrin specifically has an interesting discrepancy in the way he refers to himself.

(DISCLAIMER: I . DO NOT KNOW MUCH ABOUT JAPANESE. THIS IS SECOND-HAND KNOWLEDGE. SOURCED FROM THIS TUMBLR POST AND OTHER QUICK SKIMS OF WIKIPEDIA)

Loop and Siffrin use the same, very neutral "mostly male but could go either way" pronoun of 僕 boku. Safe, soft friendly pronoun. Used by people on the younger side of adulthood, not so impolite that you can't use it in a formal setting. Such a neutral all-rounder that female singers in japan tend to use boku in their songs to relate to the audience with quiet confidence.

And in their internal monologue? Siffrin uses a completely different pronoun. In his head, for himself, he uses 自分 jibun. Now, this may be an artefact of the monologue's english second-person "You", since jibun can also be used to mean a very neutral "self". A "myself/herself/himself" type 'self'. But when used as a first person pronoun, it has a connotation of being… distant, introspective. Which is… a fascinating implication, if that was the intent.

But I don't know anything about japanese so ! If I'm off the mark, discard this!

LOOP, PART 2: MAYBE NOT A GREAT STATE TO BE IN.

While Siffrin I can comfortably argue that they can like, keep their current gender presentation, whatever you may perceive it to be, once the game is over, Loop, I cannot.

Siffrin's potential issues with their identity are ones that honestly feel like they would best be explored with gentle refinement and searching. They don't need to violently seperate themselves from what they are now, far from it, in fact. They need to learn to grow comfortable in their own skin, and with the people they love. To become open and trusting, with an open mind to where it may lead.

Loop has already lost this battle. They don't get to refine anymore, just pick up the pieces. While I don't necessarily think radical change is Good for Loop, I think they may Need It. For them, resting will probably become stagnation (see: napping all day under the tree, resigned, really, to the idea they're stuck there forever.), they need a shake-up in order to re-find their feet. Even if they end up right back where they started, they still need to do the actual painful process of soul-searching first.

Problem is, they're still rather avoidant. So it basically becomes a question of getting them into a situation where this exploration is forced upon them. At which point, that's a whole new plotline. This becomes fanfiction. Hence, why while I think Transfem-Egg Loop is a Valid Read when extrapolated from Siffrin… I must concede any actual adventures into them acting upon that as headcanon territory. I just do not know how you would get them there without making a whole new Thing, at which point it stops being Just A Read of the text haha. It doesn't help that Loop and Siffrin (grudgekeepers supreme) both have reason to spite the Change God after who was phone.

As for whether this egg-read reflects directly back on to Siffrin? Maybe! They are the same person. But I think that, especially with Vaugarde's lax views, and their actual differences (Loop's general worse mania // Siffrin's incentive to stay a reminder to themselves and Loop of their country) means they could easily go two different routes, along the road to becoming their own distinct individuals. (And in all honesty, growing into their differences is probably the more healthy option in the long run if you're keeping Loop around? But again, we are going so far into the future here this is no longer a read. And I am not here to dispense baseless headcanons without massive disclaimer, so…)

Tl;Dr:

Siffrin's Survival-Apathy and hesitance to change feels really thematic to their being 'what's left' of their homeland

They seem unsettled by the flippancy of the Change Religion at times, clinging to the familiar to cope with the trauma of displacement.

Mal du pays speaks of them that they have not 'tried' to change, showing an insecurity there, even outside of the literal stagnance of the loops.

They are self assured to Mira that one does not have to change, in a very genuinely personal impulsive statement.

They and others exclude themselves from being "A Man", but Siffrin keeps desires to explore their expression to themselves.

The Universe belief, seemingly in Siffrin's view of it, disincentivises Free Will and Wants very heavily. It is not hard to assume they extend this to all elements of their life.

They have self-admittedly never pursued tangible change, likely due to this aversion to choice. Despite this, they express interest in changing, seeming nonplussed with their body, and house at least some desire for more traditionally feminine expression.

Oh Good God. Loop Sure Does Not Treat Themselves Like A Person. Why Does That Come With A Pronoun Change? What Does That Mean?

But most of all:

It makes them such a fascinating foil and lens to Change and characters who believe in it! It makes them eerily similar to The King! It opens up such fascinating debate between characters like themselves and Mirabelle, Isabeau and Loop, on whether or not they want to change in future, or if it truly is okay to never radically change yourself! What genuinely fertile ground for dialogues. And man if I'm not heavily drawn towards dialogues.

(End of essay! Congratulations for making it the whole way! 🎉 I hope this nightmarish deep dive helps with understanding some of the ways I've been writing Siffrin and Loop too. Since while I've not ever focused on the gender side of it (and probably won't in comic form) this does pervade my view of the two, since it would be impossible for it to Not. As you can see, I do think it is pretty relevant to both their themes.)

(Now for some bonus material)

ADDENDUMS:

PERSONAL BIAS NOTE:

Not included in this analysis since this is more a Pet Theme of my own (usually kept quarantined to the realms of my OCs), but something else I see in Siffrin is a reflection of the Dude Issue(tm) of patriarchal irl society disincentivisng Dudes(tm) from ever fucking introspecting ever.

I'm curious about nonbinary/trans characters who have no idea they’re nonbinary/trans because they’ve been disincentivised from thinking/doubting their identity due to societal power structures or simply tradition. I dig around the themes of “a lot of guys are trapped in a societal prison without ever knowing and it makes them miserable but they can’t escape because they don’t even see the cage” like, a lot, in my personal work. It intrigues me. So bleh, cards on the table there. That mode of interacting with nb/trans characters is one I'm inclined to.

This kinda goes hand in hand with the watsonian vs doylist situation i took an aside to mention. But it is so far along the doylist side that I didn't want to include it, since it is a little too assumptive of the text for my comfort. I don't think the game necessarily has much commentary on this specific Societal Bind. But if it does, then hey, there's my thoughts on it.

STRAY SIDE NOTES AND HEADCANONS ABOUT OTHER CHARACTERS (AS A TREAT FOR GETTING THIS FAR):

MID-GAME OBSERVATION ABOUT BONNIE AND ODILE THAT I NEVER WENT BACK TO VERIFY:

I got the impression that Bonnie heavily favours they/them pronouns for Siffrin, and Odile he/him, as a bit of presumed character voice. I don't know that I am right, literally at all, in that observation, because it very well could've been confirmation bias.

BUT! It did give me the impression that one of the things Bonnie was idolising about Siffrin was a degree of "wow!! older person with my gender!! wow!!", which is just like, cute. I like it even if I don't have any solid evidence.

ODILE, WHAT'S HER DEAL?:

Oh she stays just as mysterious as she intends to be, huh? Even with her comments in the Changing Room alluding to knowing things about underground changing operations, you can't draw much of a conclusion about her. I appreciate verily that she's word-of-god unlabelled and also poly. That shit's great. Woman who has stopped drawing lines or caring what she's up against. Nice characterisation flavour I think.

Anyway, I do think that transfem Odile is a really, really nice take. I have no evidence in either direction for her in either direction, and her being a woman of any description makes her relationship with her absent mother something interesting to chew on, but the idea that she pursued womanhood intentionally lends an interesting texture. I've not much to say, but it's a thread to pull on. Makes you wonder what other female role models she had in her life instead. Anyway she's mysterious as fuck I can't extrapolate Jack nor Squat. Shrug! I'm also made curious by the idea of her potentially moving away from womanhood as she feels the weight of her history lifted. This goes either way, really. Diagnosis: mysterious.

HEADCANON NOTE: INTERSEX SIFFRIN

I don't have any in-text support for this so this entire thing is an unbased headcanon to me. but i DO like it because 1. fun and 2. potential for more thematic exploration

haha gotcha its fuckin themes again. its always themes with me.

But yeah. Not much to say here besides drawing a parallel (that I believe I've seen drawn elsewhere in the fandom already?) between ISAT's comments on how a society that values change would view Aroace identities, and how Mira feels about not wanting to change with the real world experiences of Intersex people having alteration and conformity forced upon them, saying the Change Belief would likely be just as bad for them as it is for aroace people.

So, adding it to Siffrin's situation further drags them into the opposition-to-change foil role. Which like I said, think has a lot to explore.

HEADCANON NOTE: A POTENTIAL METHOD FOR GETTING LOOP OUT OF THEIR GOD DAMNED COMFORT ZONE

I think utilising Loop's contrarianism is an effective and funny way to get them to explore their gender. I personally think running with them trying to hide their identity from the party is a hilarious way to do it. Having them try to position themselves in direct opposition to Siffrin to "throw the party off their trail" (not that i think they really need to?), going full feminine-revealing-clothing because it's NOT what a Siffrin would do and accidentally growing accustomed to it. Funny to me. Especially when the party eventually do find out who they are and go . "????? what was the girl stuff about ??? is that something you wanna do now ???".

[Isabeau] "Ohhhh it was a bit! Haha you really are Sif, still a jokester!" [Loop] "HAHA YEAH . JOKES. LOVE THOSE. LOVE TO MAKE JOKES!" [Isabeau] "Yep! Anyway. Tell me if you need anything!"

Bonus bonus:

[Siffrin] "Okay, so, if you're a girl. Does this reflect on like… me?" [Loop] "No doubles. Get your own gender, parasite~!"

[necrotic-nephilim]

ok ok but jayroytim😏

this feels especially funny if brudick happens in the background and oliver hates the fact he's now in-laws with bruce

so i have to regretfully admit i'm not really a fan of JayRoy, or at least i'm not a fan of the popular version of JayRoy. i think JayRoy could work and would be a lot of fun! but i have *zero* interest in New-52!JayRoy (or New-52!Roy in general) or rlly any version of Jason and Roy on the Outlaws together. both bc i'm a pre-Flashpoint stan at heart. usually i can stand newer content for ship fodder but for these two oh man it grinds my gears how badly Roy got fucked over-

BUT BUT. that doesn't mean i think the ship has *no* merit. because Jason and Roy *do* have some fodder in pre-Flashpoint. they meet briefly when Jason is Robin, and then again when Jason is Red Hood during that Outsiders arc where Black Lightning is in prison. so! there's definitely material to work with. especially playing into the more fucked up nature of Roy knowing Jason when he was Robin. i think it's cute if Jason had a childhood crush on Roy. and maybe Roy even thought Jason was kind of cute, a spunky kid with a lot of energy and passion. then with Jason as Red Hood, Roy openly doesn't trust him and doesn't like that they're working with him. Jason is just a run-of-the-mill villain with a nasty kill count. and sure, Roy's got a record of tangling with people more on the villain side of things, but even going near the Red Hood feels like a step too far.

adding Tim to the mix is really fun. bc honestly it gives Roy some kind of a fetish for guys who have been Robin and i find that to be delightful. like, even if Roy just sees Jason as the Red Hood, he can't *quite* let go of the image of Jason as Robin. like it just won't get out of Roy's system ever since Jason came back. i think, if i were to write these three together, i'd have Roy and Tim get together first of all people, just because Roy is trying really hard to stop thinking about Jason as Robin, especially now that Jason is older and a little meaner. he's full of guilt about it, and he can't talk to Dick because he's still not sure where Dick's feelings fall about the whole Jason thing so. he goes to Tim instead, thinking if he fucks a different Robin, maybe he'll get it out of his system. Tim's pretty and he's just old enough that it's not *too* morally questionable for Roy to seek him out. it takes a while for Roy to work up the nerves because he and Tim aren't particularly close, so how do you even approach that conversation to make it look organic. it's awkward and Tim can definitely tell something is up but hey, who's going to say no to Roy Harper offering sex? one of Dick's best friends? especially if we put this right after Kon and Bart's death where Tim is just. sort of lonely and seeking companionship. in some ways,, Roy would remind him of Kon, just a little. that sort of cocky attitude and snarky smile.

i would add Jason in by having JayTim happen alongside RoyTim. it's not like Roy and Tim are serious enough to be exclusive and Tim knows Roy is sleeping around, so Tim ends up in a weird hatefucking situation with Jason, which definitely was not supposed to happen. Jason just has a damning way of getting under Tim's skin and won't stop bothering Tim until he gets some kind of attention from Tim. and somehow Jason is interesting enough for Tim to cave. and he doesn't even think about the two relationships he's balancing until he happens to sleep with Jason after being with Roy the night before and there are still marks all over him and Jason does *not* like sharing. so when he interrogates Tim and gets nothing, he does the reasonable thing of stalking Tim to figure out who it is. and it just happens to be the guy Jason had a crush on as a kid.

i think Roy finding out he tried so hard to avoid Jason that he accidentally ended up with the same fuck buddy as Jason would be the funniest thing in the world. like it's not something he can run from anymore and he has to accept that. he tries to awkwardly ask what Tim even sees in the guy bc well, Jason's a killer and not known for being mentally stable. but he's also the guy who exonerated Black Lightning with no real motive besides just helping out. he's complicated and Roy doesn't know how to react. Tim just sort of shrugs bc how do you even explain Jason Todd and well, one thing leads to another and Tim ends up in the middle of the most emotionally charged threesome he's ever been in. love the idea of Jason and Roy using Tim as a toy while they work out their feelings for each other. to me that's the peak dynamic. Jason and Roy are pissed about liking each other and somehow, Tim got roped into things. their relationship is not healthy or normal whatsoever, but somehow, they end up balancing each other out nicely.

background BruDick is also hilarious tho. bc there is no one who hates Bruce more than Oliver and he'd be so annoyed that not only did Roy get tangled up with the Bats, but now everything is so weird their families are pretty tangled together and Oliver has to deal with Bruce a lot more than he wants to. and he's glaring daggers about it the whole time.

[lemongogo]

oo u want 2 draw soo bad..

[cuubism]

hello friends. despite my 9 million existing dreamling wips i'm feeling the need to branch out a bit for the sake of my mental variety. what pairing other than dreamling should i write a little something for? could be romantic or platonic

other way of phrasing i guess: any pairings you really want to see more fics for in the fandom?

[fluffypotatey]

Hopefully the Twister fandom grows for the sake of more people able to understand the fics you're writing because I love your stuff but I'm missing all the subjective love a fan of the series would have

same! both the 1996 and 2024 movies are so much fun and deserve all the love and fics and fanart and gifs

like it was only until last week I think since Twisters got an official tag on ao3 (which is just a combo between toy and a twister 1996 but still!!! huge props to all the fic writers contributing to the fandom) and i have found that the Jake “Hangman” Seresin & Tyler Owens (Twisters) tag is common enough to be included when typing for the relationship tag so 👀 we are definitely getting there!

[manasurge]

1/3 of the way done of this last page, then I can finally post it all o|-<

[the-girl-with-too-many-ideas]

Does anyone else get the feeling that at their core, all of mxtx's works are about cycles of abuses.