#but also. like. i'd die to be in this show. it's one of my ultimate dream shows.

[fanganfessions]

I personally don't like Project Eden's Garden, and I feel like it's trying far too hard to not be Dangan Ronpa to the point that it seems frankly embarassed about having any association with it from its writing and its consistent attempts to try and subvert DR writing, from the characters to even the execution we've seen (that IMO, lacks the kind of "style" canon executions have in an attempt to be far more brutal and drawn out without anything actually interesting to it in an aesthetic sense. It feels gory for the sake of being gory, even moreso than another execution I'd criticize like V3-2) and like it's trying too hard to subvert the series it's inspired by to the point it genuinely doesn't feel all that fun to engage with.

Things like the idea of a character presenting themselves as an "Ultimate Liar" just feel, for lack of a better word, fanfiction-y. A lot of the actual meat of the project feels amateurish to me, likely a result of the project changing hands due to the fallout between the old director and the original writers parting ways due to abuse 3 years ago or so, like old plot points were left behind and people tried to make them work rather than scraping things that I personally think go against his attempts to make its characters more grounded or realistic.

I don't enjoy any of the characters as they are and feel no attachment towards them or their designs, and I think the decision to replace the mascot with a guy in a mask was a poor one in a somewhat misguided attempt to make the game feel more, I dunno, mature? But to me it just comes off as another attempt to distance itself from DR, which the game fails at anyway because the twist of "characters who seem important both die chapter one" is very much a DR-esque move, for example.

There's a lot I could get into, and these are just mismanaged thoughts, but I feel like the project lacks style and any affection for the original series, and also comes off as exceedingly pretentious at times. (I personally hate the orchestral soundtrack, and I feel like something like "here's a real life orchestral composition of our theme" feels a lot like showing off at that point) I also just don't see the project being sustainable, especially with the prediction of it taking another two years for the second chapter.

All in all, though, I just can't enjoy it personally because it comes off as a very generic Fangan dressed up with high production value that people aren't willing to criticize both for fear of being attacked by an honestly rabid fanbase, and because it's definitely the big kid on the block and it can be hard to criticize a fan project being done for free. I just find it to be, well, not that good, and unworthy of the massive amounts of praise it's been receiving, but I'm biased to finding it kind of irritating due to my own personal tastes and the large amounts of praise its been receiving I personally disagree with.

But beyond that, it just feels like it doesn't want to be Dangan Ronpa, and maybe it shouldn't be, and its attempts to distance itself from it while still being clearly derivative of it (SHSL talents, the artstyle, the format) come off as more irritating to me than anything. I just don't think it's that good or the second coming of Dangan Christ or whatever, and it falls into the same trappings I'd criticize pretty much every other Fangan, and even the official series for, but it sticks out even more due to how desperate it is to be not Dangan Ronpa, or more than just Dangan Ronpa. This one just has more budget.

⠀

[youremyonlyhope]

.

[usuallydyinginside]

"No One Mourns the Wicked" is about Glinda, not Elphaba

Okay, but hear me out. Wicked songs are so good at saying one thing and meaning something entirely different once you have more context. For instance, "I'm Not That Girl" is Elphaba singing about Glinda initially, then in Act 2 flips to Glinda singing about Elphaba. Because it turns out, Elphaba IS that girl and Glinda is not. When we meet the Wizard, he sings about how he always wanted to be a father. When you get to Act 2, you get the sad little reprise in the background music as he realizes that WHOOPS, he was one and he destroyed his only kid. "Defying Gravity" starts with "I hope you're happy" in the sarcastic sense and ends with them both using the same phrase to genuinely wish one another well.

"Thank Goodness" is set up as a cheerful engagement song where Glinda genuinely means "thank goodness for how great my life is" and ends in a place where she's insisting that she IS happy even as she realizes her engagement is a sham, her best friend is gone, and she's left with the Wizard and Madame M, who she doesn't even like.

You get the picture.

Basically, the whole musical is about subverting what you expect, starting with the base premise of "what if the Wicked Witch was the hero of the story" and digging in from there.

Honestly, I'd never paid much attention to the first song. It's a good opener, sets things up well, but it has some big competition with later songs. However, in the movie the staging and camera choices made me really notice it for the first time. Because you know what? Someone DID pay attention to that song, and you can really really tell.

For those who need a refresher, the lyrics to the chorus Glinda sings are: And Goodness knows The Wicked's lives are lonely Goodness knows The Wicked die alone It just shows when you're Wicked You're left only On your own I was always so busy noticing Glinda's grief over thinking Elphaba was genuinely dead that I failed to notice Glinda's grief over her OWN fate. The movie did such a good job with this because every time we get to the pink lines about being alone, Glinda IS alone. She is standing apart from the crowd who adores her. Standing above them. Standing at the center of a bunch of people yet still, isolated.

Because in the end, we know that Elphaba DIDN'T die alone. We know she wasn't on her own. We know her life WASN'T lonely ultimately. She had her flying monkey and animal friends. She had Fiyero.

And who does Glinda have?

Everyone, but realistically, no one. She is an ideal, not a person to most of Oz, just as much as Elphaba has become the token scapegoat. Where Elphaba is the "Wicked Witch," Glinda is "Glinda the Good Witch" - she is literally supposed to be the embodiment of goodness.

And what does Glinda have at the end of this whole thing (as of this song at least)? A disastrous end to her engagement, the death of her best friend, a sorceress who has hated her, demeaned her, and dismissed her from the start, and a con man who is also just a symbol more than a person.

I think it really hit me when Glinda throws the fire on the giant effigy of Elphaba. Ariana's acting was SO good there, because I'd expected us to see that private moment of horror or regret. What I didn't expect was the sort of determined and almost angry glare at the effigy.

But it makes sense. At this point, Glinda has realized that she lost everything and everyone she actually cared about.

As she so aptly puts it in "Thank Goodness"...

Though it is, I admit The tiniest bit Unlike I anticipated. But I couldn't be happier, Simply couldn't be happier, Well, not "simply" 'Cause getting your dreams It's strange, but it seems A little, well, complicated.

There's a kind of a sort of cost. There's a couple of things get lost. There are bridges you cross You didn't know you crossed Until you've crossed!

And if that joy, that thrill Doesn't thrill like you think it will Still-- With this perfect finale, The cheers and the ballyhoo! Who wouldn't be happier? So I couldn't be happier, Because happy is what happens When all your dreams come true.

Well, isn't it?

Happy is what happens when you're dreams come true.

It's not Elphaba's fault that Glinda has ended up this way. Glinda chose it every step of the way. Yet, if Glinda had never met Elphaba, (if she'd never known her, you could say), she might have stayed shallow and vain. She might never have been challenged to look deeper and realize how empty it all felt.

So as Glinda sings "No One Mourns the Wicked," she realizes that even if the Munchkins are singing about the "Wicked Witch," she's not.

She's singing about herself.

The one who traded her morals, friendship, and love for a taste of the admiration and power over those who don't really know her. The one who was so worried about being likable that she herself doesn't like who she's become.

Even after she makes things better for Oz and herself by sending the wizard away and getting rid of Madame M, it just leaves Glinda by herself as the leader and source of goodness in Oz. It leaves her on a pedestal she can never step off of.

It leaves her lonely.

Entirely alone.

[pinkeoni]

Will is Going to Die by Sacrificing Himself

...and come back to life. To me, it seems pretty obvious, but I'll explain why.

Will has been characterized as someone who puts others before himself since season one, even if it means costing him his life. The entire series starts off with Will casting fireball instead of protection during their Dungeons & Dragons game, putting his character in danger for the sake of the rest of the party.

This self-sacrificial nature is echoed in season two, but two a much more extreme end, when Will instructs everyone to close the gate to stop the Mind Flayer, despite knowing that doing so will kill him.

While we don't see this same self-sacrifice from Will in seasons three and four, we do see two related characters make their own sacrifices, possibly hinting at Will's future fate.

First we have the other character named William, Billy, sacrifice himself at the end of season three in order to stop the meat flayer.

Then in season four, we have Eddie sacrifice himself while the same song that played for Will after he came back to life in season one plays in the background— "When It's Cold I'd Like to Die" by Moby.

There are also little ways that we are told/shown of Will's selfless nature, such as giving a girl his tonka truck because she was sad, or giving Mike his painting under El's name. While this trait could be seen as admirable, I think it will ultimately be his undoing.

But why would Will need to sacrifice himself?

Well, we know that despite all of this time, Will still holds a connection to Vecna, and likely to the Mind Flayer and the Upside Down himself. Putting a stop to all of these things is going to be intrinsic to Will's arc next season.

I don't know how many people know about Noah's letterboxd, but he has been rewatching the Harry Potter movies.

Perhaps for personal enjoyment, or perhaps to study for his character?

The comparisons between Will/Vecna and Harry/Voldemort have been made before, and the Duffers are derivative of other sources if anything.

I think that this could be likened to a horcrux situation. At the end of season four, we saw Vecna be totally flambéd by the older teens, and yet, he's still kicking, and Will is the one to tell us this.

If the brain dies the body dies, but also, could the brain latch on to another body in order to keep it alive? Similar to how Harry had to die so that Voldemort could be defeated, I believe Will might have to die (at least temporarily) in order to take down Vecna/MF/UD.

We know that the show is bringing back "Should I Stay or Should I Go," which is going to prompt an important question that Will needs to find the answer to, should he stay or should he go? While this could also relate to his romantic endeavors for the season, I think that the song could be alluding to Will's choice to sacrifice himself in order to save everyone else.

What I think will probably happen is this: At some point in the season, Will is going to learn what has to happen, and he is going to go off to sacrifice himself without telling anyone so no one can stop him. (I'm guessing that Will can't just off himself, there's probably a specific way that it needs to be done).

Something I realized while making this post is that Mike is always the one who figures out what needs to be done, or brings up Will's sacrifice to others. My guess is that Mike is going to find out what Will is up to, and try to stop him. Emphasis on try, because I think this death is inevitable. However, bringing the show back full circle to season one (and because ST can never keep a main character dead), he will come back to life.

[raayllum]

Sometimes it hits just how tonally different The Dragon Prince is from virtually every other kids show on TV and I lose my mind. I'd argue something like Infinity Train gets closest with its emphasis on psychological horror and morality, or even Transformers: Prime (if you know, you know) with its severe focus on war (aka one of the more lowkey episodes is a main character having a suicide bomb forcibly strapped to their chest). Steven Universe Future and Jurassic World: Camp Cretaeceous/Chaos Theory are also probably honourable mentions.

All of these shows have mature content in them, which isn't different from more popular shows like Owl House, She-Ra, or even ATLA, but often times in aforementioned three that content is presented in lighter ways and/or interrupted by bathos (this is true for She-Ra in particular). Most of TOH's heaviness is reserved for S2 Hunter or S3 Luz; ATLA has some episodes that particularly emotionally heavy (The Southern Raiders, Zuko Alone, the Southern Air Temple) or are quite hitting in exploring themes of colonization (Imprisoned, City of Walls and Secrets, Northern Air Temple), but a good deal, I'd say even the majority, are also pretty fun shenanigans, too. To be clear as well, a lighter tone is not a Problem never mind a negative (ATLA has a very strong thematic point to its own about the sanctity of children and childhood amid the horrors of how imperialism strips it away), but it is a tonal difference.

And it's not as though TDP doesn't have episodes where there are fun shenanigans (Callum and Rayla's initial exploration of Xadia in 3x02 is nothing but fluff, Soren and Corvus are a more gay comedic duo in 6x02) but the series more or less operates like "What if every episode was The Southern Raiders?" due to its consistent emphasis on grief and morality. They use words like kill and death and murder all the time.

From the pilot / opening episodes

and to when characters are having breakdowns because they murdered someone (and we're still supposed to like them) or have done horrible things, with the show's heaviness ramping up particularly from S4 onwards.

When loved ones die (and the show has a body count of 20+ named characters who have died, six seasons in, some even being children) the show depicts mourning in all its stages and ugly glory. The sadness, the anger, the revenge, the desperation, shifting blame and cognitive dissonances, thinking you had moved on only for that wound (which never fully healed) to be ripped wide open again.

Characters get tortured by being electrocuted or having their blood frozen in their veins or beaten up (5x08). There are successful assassination attempts (1x03, 3x02). People, even children younger than the main cast of characters, are put on trial with the death penalty (4x06, 6x09). Within the first three episodes, a character is running down stairs and tripping over dead bodies.

Sometimes three different characters in one episode will be having a breakdown or dealing with something absolutely devastating to their emotional state (2x08, 3x07, 6x01, 6x09, 7x01). The magic system is a trolley problem on steroids. Do you kill a monster to feed starving kingdoms, or to save yourself, or to save someone you love? What makes it a monster? What if the monster isn't a monster? What if you have to kill a child? What if it means killing your child? What if it means killing yourself?

There are two characters who canonically have cannibalized other people, one being a blood-drinker / vampire variant.

This doesn't mean the show isn't fun or funny. One character consistently thinks bathroom humour is funny (while being one of the most tragic characters in the entire show). The characters cheer each other up, take care of each other, are goofy, etc. The show is ultimately hopeful.

But the emotional weight afforded to the choices the characters are making, even good-intentioned ones with unforeseen disastrous consequences, the way show focuses on their emotional processing (or lack of) is very unique in the landscape of western animation, especially to this degree, I think. Never mind the increasing amounts of blood. Nor does this make the show inappropriate for children! Tiny me was morbid as fuck at 7 years old, I would've loved it, and I know many kids from ages 7-12 who do in my work as a tutor. But when people say "TDP isn't like most kids shows," I think what that means is sometimes lost in translation in conflating it with what people usually say aren't 'just kids shows,' when TDP... really, really isn't.

The show begins with assassins sent by a grieving mother to execute a father and his child in revenge for the father killing her partner and child, and it never lets you forget it.

[stumpyjoepete]

Thinking a bit more about Megalopolis (see prev post). It's not really the case that the script is as disjointed or schizophrenic as my post makes it out to be. The central plot is pretty simple: an egotistical city planner has an ambitious and futuristic vision for redeveloping the city, and he butts heads with the Mayor and others who oppose him in this. He ultimately succeeds in building his utopian "megalopolis". Everyone is happy, the end.

And yet.

There's this... intense centrifugal force that prevents everything from cohering into a unified whole. It's like a puzzle where all the pieces are cut from the same picture, but upon closer inspection, no two pieces quite fit together. Or like that collection of nonsensical objects. A fork where the tines and the handle are connected by a chain. A watering can with the spout facing the wrong way. A quick glance leaves you confused, and that confusion is only deepened by further contemplation.

I think this is especially clear in the pseudo-intellectualism of the title cards, narration, monologues, and quotations/references:

Laurence Fishburne does this heavy-handed narration at the beginning and end of the movie (and several random points in between). And there are these associated title cards that look like they were made by applying an "Ancient Rome" theme to some PowerPoint slides. "Or will we too fall victim, like old Rome, to the insatiable appetite for power of a few men?" My brother in Christ, you are making a movie where the hero is named Cesar, and the happy ending is when he successfully pulls a Robert Moses. This is not a story about power corrupting or good intentions going awry. What are you doing???

Cesar Catilina interrupts Mayor Cicero's speech (where he is introducing a plan to build a casino) in order to lay out an early plan for "megalopolis", which is an ambitious and long-term alternative to the (short-term) casino plan. He prefaces his megalopolis pitch by reciting the Hamlet soliloquy. What exactly does Coppola think "To Be Or Not To Be" is about? He must thinks it means, "I am a dark and brooding bad-boy intellectual", since it's hard to see how "I'd like to kill myself, but I fear death" fits into an argument about the importance of long-term thinking in urban planning.

Cesar says several negative things about "civilization". "[Imagine] humanity as an old tree with one misguided branch called civilization... going nowhere." (Shot of notebook shows an illustration with 'war' and 'cruelty' offshoots from said branch.) "Emerson said the end of the human race will be that we'll eventually die of civilization." (Note: unsourced, probably fake quote.) "Civilization itself remains the great enemy of mankind." Umm... you're an urban planner! You're doing a high modernism. What exactly does it mean for you to call civilization the enemy? Is "megalopolis" somehow anti-civilization because it looks like a Georgia O'Keefe painting instead of a bunch of straight lines and right angles? Will the "war" and "cruelty" branches wither and die when buildings have labia?

Also, there's this amazing line read that completely inverts the meaning of a fake Marcus Aurelius quote (the quote was attributed to him by Tolstoy but is not actually something he said). "The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape... finding yourself in the ranks of the insane." Why did you put in that pause??? Fake Marcus Aurelius is turning in his grave! You're supposed to be fleeing FROM the ranks of the insane! I suppose this isn't really inconsistent with the characterization of Cesar, it's just such a fucking batshit thing to say.

All of the cargo-cult intellectualism listed above could perhaps be excused if the vision that the film is supposedly about had any content whatsoever. Or, alternatively, if the movie was about something more substantive, and the vacuous megalopolis vision took place off-screen in an epilogue, like the "happily ever after" of a children's story. But no! The movie repeatedly interrupts the plot to grab you by the shoulders and scream in your face: "I have a vision! For the future!". And then--now that it has your undivided attention--it shits the bed like a man who has just polished off an entire bag of sugar-free gummy bears and washed them down with a fistful of Ambien:

"Conversation isn't enough. It's the questions that lead it to the next step. But initially, you have to have a conversation. The city itself is immaterial, but they're talking about it for the first time. And it's not just about us talking about it. It's the need to talk about it. It's as urgent to us as air and water."

"Mr. Catalina, you said that as we jump into the future, we should do so unafraid. But what if when we do jump into the future, there is something to be afraid of?" "Well, there's nothing to be afraid of if you love, or have loved. It's an unstoppable force. It's unbreakable. It has no limits. It's within us. It's around us. And it's stretched throughout time. It's nothing you can touch. Yet it guides every decision that we make. But we do have the obligation to each other to ask questions of one another. What can we do? Is this society, is this way we're living, the only one that's available to us? And when we ask these questions, when there's a dialogue about them, that basically is a utopia."

After the revolution, we won't have conflicts anymore; we'll have dialogue instead. We won't have a need for the "jobs" and "sanitation" of "now"; we'll have the "imperishable" "dreams" of "forever". We won't have problems that need solving; we'll all be too busy asking each other questions. Now, if everyone could just shut up and get the hell out of the way and let Cesar implement his vision, then "everyone" will soon be "creating together, learning together, perfecting body and mind." A chorus of children's voices gradually morphing into Laurence Fishburne's, chanting, "One Earth, indivisible, with long life, education and justice for all." It's eschatological anti-politics made entirely from cotton candy. Please, for the love of God, stop making Adam Driver monologue at me! Let's get back to Aubrey Plaza stepping on horny fascist Shia LaBeouf!

The incoherence of Megalopolis's vision is compounded by how anachronistic its depiction of our fallen world is. There are some half-hearted (and ham-fisted) gestures in the Clodio sub-plot towards the dangers of Trumpian populism, but the script was first written in the 80's, and it's extremely obvious that Coppola is writing about New York City in the preceding several decades. The city's finances are in dire straights. (There's literally a "Ford Tells City: Drop Dead" reference!) The city is full of slums, the streets are full of crime, and the elites are all decadent. (For Coppola, decadence means that ladies are doing cocaine and smooching each other in the cluh-ub.) The main character is Neo-Roman Robert Moses, and the conflict of the film is about urban renewal. In case you, like Mr. Coppola, have not been made aware, slum clearance is not a major political issue in 2020's Manhattan.

Two thirds of the way through the movie, a falling Soviet satellite provides a deus ex machina, blowing up the financial district and clearing space for megalopolis to take its place. Ironically, a previous attempt to produce the film came to its abrupt end when two planes flew into some buildings in the financial district. Perhaps you heard about it. The financial backers of the film at the time considered Megalopolis's plot a bit too close to current events for comfort and withdrew their support.

But Coppola's depiction of Manhattan was already decades out of date by then. Moses stepped down in '60. Jacobs' book railing against urban renewal came out in '61. The Power Broker came out in '74. One presumes popular opinion of Robert Moses soured in the following years. The crisis of the city's finances that peaked in '75 was over by '81 when NYC balanced its budget and reentered the bond market. The crime wave of the 70's and 80's had receded by the year 2000. The demand for housing in NYC proper is as high as it ever has been, and it's only getting higher. Megalopolis imagines America as an incoherent mishmash of several decades of mid-century NYC, dressed up in the toga of the late Roman Republic, calling out for (Robert) Moses to part the slums and take us into a promised land that is literally beyond any description, and whose only concrete feature seems to be glowing people-movers.

A Robert Moses with the power to stop time, at that!

Oh, did I forget to mention that part? Cesar discovers he has the power to stop time in the opening scene of the film. I forgot because it's literally irrelevant to the plot. Time stops a few times, and then it starts back up again, and the events of the film just plod inexorably forward. For a movie as temporally dislocated as Metropolis, perhaps that's just as well.

[pharawee]

I usually don't do yearly recaps because my memory sucks December is one of the busiest months for me and I'm lucky if I get to gif at all but this year I thought I'd take a look at all of the gifsets I did in 2024 and see which shows, pairings and moments I liked the most.

✨FAV BLS OF 2024

1000 Years Old: 2024 was supposed to be the year of vampire BL (going by all the announcements and pilot trailers) but in the end only this one aired (edit: wait, I forgot about OMG! Vampire to protect myself 🥴) - and it was neither spicy nor particularly spooky. Instead, it was all heart and quirkiness and when it was over I cried for a week because of the bittersweet ending.

Playboyy: This show is truly a masterpiece, with layers of subtext and social commentary. Also, it's fun and camp and sexy and ridiculous. I'm so glad it's going to get a second season.

Caged Again: How come that a little show about a penguin and a panther is legit one of the best - if not THE BEST - Thai BL of the year?

Knock Knock, Boys: I came for Best and Seng and Pak but then Almond and Latte bewitched me body and soul. Kongthup now owns me.

Every You, Every Me: I don't know what I was expecting (well, okay, a whole lot of Mick & Top - which is exactly what I got) but it surely wasn't crying my eyes out for two episodes right in the middle of the show.

Spare Me Your Mercy: Long awaited and currently still airing - I actually love this show a lot because it reminds me of all the detective dramas (esp Endeavour and Grantchester) I used to binge. Morse but make it queer is actually all I ever wanted.

7 Days Before Valentine: This show's depth and artistry and stageplay-like character absolutely blew me away.

I Saw You in My Dream: WeTV absolutely blew it out of the water this year with their many diverse productions, and this unassuming and charming little show with a supernatural twist (love me one of those!) was no exception.

Monster Next Door: Big Thanakorn in his first main role with his first acting partner in an extremely fun and all around lovely Kongthup/WeTV production. And I just love how nuanced it was when they could have just stuck with the whole introvert/extrovert cliché.

✨FAV PAIRINGS OF 2024

Hope x Save (Jack & Joker): These two completely took me by surprise, especially because I had such an intense reaction to Pee Phiravich's character in La Pluie. I had originally set my eyes on PromMark and while I definitely ate up their crumbs, HopeSave just checked all of my boxes: morally grey antagonists (at least for a while there), doomed by the narrative (until they actually got their happy ending, yay!) and ride and die for each other.

Pete x Kenta (Pit Babe): I'll be a PeteKenta truther until the day I die (see all of the checkboxes above), and if Change2561 didn't subscribe to the branded pair model, they'd agree with me. As things are I'm actually kind of meh about Pit Babe 2. I bet KentaKim won't have knives at each other's throats!! (PeteWay is delicious though.)

Prom x Nont (Playboyy): Uhhh, that's a lot of the same checked boxes. So maybe I have a type. Thanks 2024 for making me realise. Also, I hope these two make each other worse in season 2 (before they get their HEA because ultimately I'm vanilla like that).

Latte x Almond (Knock Knock, Boys!): Oh God, these two. I was prepared to be ride or die for Thanwa and Peak but then LatteAlmond barged in with a pink sex toy and it was over for me. They just have so much heart and so much sincerity between them (and while their dynamics are different in Caged Again I'm really enjoying Nokia and Jaonine there too for pretty much the same reason + their incredible comedic timing).

X x Namping (Every Me, Every You): It's probably a good thing we got these two for two episodes only because we might not have survived a whole 8 or 10 or even 12 episodes of them. Plus, the anthology-like character of the series made a sad ending possible in the first place, and I really appreciate it - even if it almost destroyed me.

✨FAV MOMENTS OF 2024

Twins: For a moment there we had FrameRyan and it was beautiful.

The Sign: Chalothorn stole the whole show for me and then when he inexplicably vanished I kind of stopped watching. Whoops.

Deep Night: I have seen the throuple light thanks to SeijiPanKen.

The Rebound: Frank Thanatsaran's acting (but also that scene...) overshadowing pretty much everything else (and now he's with Star Hunter which... you know... ehnnnn 🥲)

To Be Continued: Fluke Pongsapat and Junior Khajbhunditt starring in a way underrated 8-episode netflix show with one of the most beautiful love scenes ever, and I've been wanting more of them ever since.

Two Worlds: Kongthup giveth and Kongthup taketh away (aka for one and a half episodes I had Phupha and Khram and now I will never know peace).

Century of Love: Offroad Kantapon as a sultry fox spirit.

Sunset x Vibes: When Star Hunter remembered Fong and JJ exist and then they stole the whole entire show (there really wasn't much to steal though...).

The Sign: Whatever was going on between Heng Asavarid and Nat Sakdatorn in this scene BUT I NEED MORE (pls Idolfactory I'm begging you release Heng from his solo actor prison).

Two Worlds: Kongthup choosing violence by giving Pak and Mon one of the spiciest love scenes of the year.

The Rebound: THESE TWO (boxes checked!! But also I need more Nammon in my life).

Kidnap: GMMTV's strategic placement of Papang in a suit.

The Hidden Moon: Whenever that tiny low-budget show got surprisingly deep and artsy (and also spicy).

My Stand-In: When I watched a whole show for one (1) character that wasn't really a character at all. Oh, the tragedy of it all (and yes, I'm still scared of Ming).

Pit Babe: When I made several posts about the Pit Babe novel but then I actually ended up loving the villains more than the main characters. I'm watching Pit Babe 2 for them and them only. Winner of my heart here I come!

Aaand that's it, my first ever yearly (Thai) BL recap - which actually ended up way longer than planned (guess my memory isn't as bad as I thought. Then again, I had my gifs to fall back on).

2024 was an amazingly diverse year for Thai QL (along with the wonderful news of marriage equality in Thailand finally becoming a reality) and looking back I now realise (not that I was ever seriously worried) that gmmtv's monopoly is actually way more of a blessing than a curse because not only did it cause WeTV to heavily invest in their own productions, it also leaves more than enough room for innovation and creativity via smaller and indie companies (along with the truly big players finally paying more attention - see: Spare Me Your Mercy). Innovation which in turn enriches gmmtv's portfolio as well (judging by their line-up for 2025 the years to come). In short: the Thai BL ecosystem is truly thriving.

And with that, may 2025 be even queerer than 2024 with tons of marriage proposals and actual marriages (PorschArm here we go!), and a favourite little (or in gmmtv's case not so little lmao) BL niche for everyone.

I hope you had as much fun with BL in 2024 as I had. I really appreciate everyone's commentary posts and meta and fanart and gifsets and tag games and reaction posts, even if I didn't spend as much time on my dashboard this year as I wanted to. I'm so glad tumblr BL fandom exists. ILU guys. Only the bestest and kindest things for you in 2025!🌈✨

[axellis]

good morning im politely requesting people look at my post abt how the ancients see each other

under the cut some closeups + a ton of additional thoughts

hollyberry + golden cheese are also part of the crew of 'thinking pv is a bit naive', but he's also the most emotionally intelligent out of all of them and incredibly empathetic and thats something they both respect a whole lot .

dark cacao on the flipside can see how much of a mental toll being empathetic can be

white lily seems to have the most "whole" thought of pv - which would make sense, she's been with him the longest and has seen every facet that is pv. but even still her worries that he's too trusting of her are eating away at her thoughts- as such a pv shapeshifter made of her subconscious Would be way more naive .

in my head white lily's pv would be the last shapeshifter and in order to tell the difference between them white lily would ask if he ever doubted her . the real pv would say that he definitely struggled and had been lost and confused- but ultimately trusts her above all else . vs the shapeshifter who would just say "no I'd never doubt you" .

i didnt have room for it but i think dark cacao also recognizes hollyberrys seriousness . if you get drunk with someone enough times you'll start to piece together the really vulnerable moments you had with eachother . i think hollyberry and dark cacao have the closest relationship and im not saying this because im in love with both of them

golden cheese has a bit of a recollection issue and you can see that with hollyberry + cacao the most. golden cheese reminisces a Lot and that affects how she remembers the othera . hollyberrys is a bit of a trickier thing but in this instance golden cheese doesnt remember the braids. she knows hollyberry has a different outfit than before but doesn't pay it much mind

you might have noticed the pattern at this point of pure vanilla having a bit of a cutesy interpretation of all the ancients. he loves his friends so much that he has a bit of a harder time being critical of them. he thinks dark cacaos seriousness/grumpiness is endearing. to be honest its partly an inverse of shadow milks interpretation of the ancients (simple and positive vs simple and negative) but that wasnt entirely intentional. just interesting to notate now that im thinking of it

hollyberrys dark cacao is a bit of an inverse also to what i was talking about with dark cacaos hollyberry . shes seen the sweeter more heartfelt side of dark cacao and that shines through to her

if it wasnt for the outfit + hair, golden cheese's dark cacao would have probably been the last shape shifter standing

and i will stand by the dragon cacao headcanon till the day i die

golden cheese's was fun to think about bc of the little details that are different between the different shapeshifters- specifically in the neck area (bc thays the only portion you guys get to see) . dark cacaos is a bit more of a hanbok style, white lily has a turtleneck thing kind of happening, etc etc. i think pure vanilla has the most accurate idea of what she looks like .

i think white lilys interestingly enough would be the last one standing because i honestly dont think her golden cheese would even be talking with her :(( so we'd only really find out the difference when white lily's gc is forced to talk to her . white lily thinks that gc hates her and wants her gone but golden cheese's feelings are wayy wayyy more complicated. golden cheese doesn't want white lily gone she Is glad that she's back but its also hard. everything she loves is gone right now . but she's going to find a way to get it back- and if white lily can help than maybe that'll rekindle their relationship.

the cuteification beam still reaches for white lily despite how much pv knows her . i doubt this would help with white lilys feelings that pv is being naive bc shes looking at a shapeshifter based off of pvs subconscious and that subconscious is showing so mucy nostalgia it probably hurts

hollyberry in the past probably really babied white lily + pure vanilla because she Knows theyre not eating . shes observant as hell and will always demand they have at least one bite of something in order to figure out if they're Really "not hungry".

the last one would probably land on golden cheese's bc again . her feelings are complicated and as such her subconscious would showcase that multifaceted issue of "knowing this is your friend and also knowing your friend is responsible for your kingdoms destruction".

[tiredandoptimistic]

RvB tarot cards

I have once again cooked up a hypothetical tarot deck for a show I enjoy. I didn't make any art because I refuse to attempt Halo armor, but here's my pitch for which RvB character I'd assign to each of the major arcana.

0-The Fool: Franklin Delano Donut. The fool symbolizes new beginnings, and someone who is so excited to be on an adventure that they stop paying attention to the dangers around them. Donut is of course known for his vibrant enthusiasm, but he may not be the most mindful person. Despite all the dangers and near death experiences he's faces though, this plucky private just keeps on being fabulous.

1-The Magician: Frank "Doc" Dufrense. The magician is a powerful character because he stands outside the limits of the four suits, much like Doc's place beyond the constructed binary of Red vs Blue. He doesn't belong wholly to any group (and his mind doesn't even belong wholly to himself), but that won't stop him from showing up every day to make people more comfortable while they die. He is an outsider who comes to help others; it's just a question of whether he can live up to his own good intentions.

2-The High Priestess: Agent North Dakota. As an almost parental figure, the high priestess is often sought for advice and encourages cooler heads to prevail. North's place amongst the Freelancers was often defined by his role as a peacekeeper, serving as an advocate for calm and reasoned thinking in the face of bizarre circumstances. It's because of this logic and empathy that he was able to recognize Freelancer's corruption and ultimately defect from the project.

3- The Empress: Agent New York. The empress is a leader not through force but through nurturing. This suits York, who was consistently one of the highest ranked and best beloved Freelancers, in large part due to his amiable personality and willingness to listen to others. He often acted as a more passive or supportive member of the group, but his defection from the program proved that he was still an independent thinker and a leader in his own right.

4- The Emperor: Agent Carolina. In contrast to their counterpart, the emperor is the leader who maintains control through strict discipline. Carolina was the head of her squad in Project Freelancer due to her raw strength and combat ability, but she often allowed this reliance on rules and structure to go too far. She not only allowed the ranking system to control her life, but she expected her place as #1 to allow her to control the lives of others. After her time with the Reds and Blues she allowed herself to loosen up a bit, but she still maintained her domineering personality and commitment to victory.

5- The Hierophant: Col. Sarge. The hierophant is another leadership card, this one coming from a person who is entrenched in a place of authority and perhaps a bit too reliant on rules and history. Sarge is certainly a creative leader in many ways, but he also depends upon the army as the arbitrator of right and wrong; focusing heavily on receiving orders and passing them on to his subordinates. Sarge isn't completely unchangeable though, and we see in season eight onwards the sort of wild maneuvers he'll cook up on his own time.

6- The Lovers: Lopez and Sheila. This card is fairly self explanatory, I think. Two people in love! It just so happens that in this case, the happiest and most functional relationship is between a robot soldier and the enemy tank.

7- The Chariot: Agent South Dakota. The chariot is all about go-go-go. It's a card of action and movement, much like South's fiery and passionate personality. Though her impulsivity often got her benched, the limitations placed on her by the Director only added to her frustration and prevented her from getting any of that energy out in a healthy way. After Project Freelancer her main mission was always to keep moving and keep finding something new, no matter what destruction she had to leave behind.

8- Strength: Michael J. Caboose. While Caboose is of course strong in a physical sense, that's not exactly the meaning of the strength tarot card. Strength is the lion, but it's also the young woman who fearlessly scratches the lion's ears. Caboose can lift a tank, but his real power comes from the strength of his friendships and his willingness to trust anyone who comes his way. This endless optimism and determination to keep seeing the bright side of everything (even a killer robot) is what led the Reds and Blues out of many tough scrapes.

9- The Hermit: Dick Simmons. The hermit is a guy by himself, plain and simple. While Simmons craves the company of others, he often finds it easier to keep himself isolated than to deal with the complexities of humanity. If the Reds don't respect him he'll simply join the Blues and take over an empty base. He's smart, yes, but he sees his own powers as ultimate and doesn't want to be on the team if he isn't seen as essential.

10- The Wheel of Fortune: Agent Florida. As a symbol of fate and destiny, the wheel of fortune is suited to a character like Florida who may appear chaotic but ultimately pulls the strings of Blood Gulch. His personality can be a bit unpredictable at times, but Flowers is still completely in control. It's just a question of whether you've figured out his plan yet.

11- Justice: Agent Connecticut. While all the members of Project Freelancer were supposedly fighting for peace, CT is the only one who took it upon herself to keep their agency in check. The others followed of course, but she was the first whistleblower to really challenge Freelancer and uncover the twisted secrets of their organization, and she was more than willing to sacrifice her life if it meant getting that information to the right people. Though it didn't come to pass until after his death, CT was still the one who brought Project Freelancer to justice.

12- The Hanged Man: Lavernius Tucker. While the hanged man isn't exactly a cheery sounding card, what it's really about is looking at difficult situations from a creative perspective. Tucker was constantly tied up in the schemes of others (The Director, the Sangheli, Felix), but he always maintained his distinctive attitude and determination. While he would have preferred to stay the same guy he was in Blood Gulch, he proved again and again that he was more than able to adapt and evolve; thriving in lethal conflicts and becoming a hero unlike any other.

13- Death: The Meta. The Meta, like death, is not cruel or sadistic. It is simply coming for you, and you will not escape. Looking deeper though, the death card in tarot symbolizes the end to old systems and the transition to something new. The Meta was once Agent Maine, until is underwent a transformation more horrible than simply dying. It went through a metamorphosis, and in the process brought about the end of Project Freelancer and the beginning of a new era.

14- Temperance: Locus. This card is one that symbolizes balance more than anything else. As a man desperate to become a machine, Locus tried to maintain perfect control over himself. He wanted to appear solid and unshakeable, up until the bedrock of his partnership with Felix was shattered. After he turned on his partner, Locus struggled to maintain a different kind of balance; between the man he was and the man he wants to be.

15- The Devil: Felix. Well this one is pretty simple. The devil as a card is about evil, yes; but it's also about control and creativity. Felix found joy in his ability to wrap the people of the New Republic around his finger, and he thrived in command of an army of space pirates. More than that though, he had fun with it. He always came up with innovative ways to destroy his enemies or intimidate his allies, and he was completely free of guilt the entire time.

16- The Tower: The Director. While death and the devil sound scary on the surface, the tower is really the most powerfully negative card in the deck. Much like Dr. Church, the tower brings misery and despair to everyone associated with it. More specifically, the screaming people falling from a lightning struck tower symbolizes divine retribution for humans who saw themselves as gods. The Director spent his later years trying to build a program that could win a war and bring back his lost love, and his favorite tool was manipulation. He always wanted nothing more than to establish his own power and prove that he could maintain complete control over the world and people around him, but it was only a matter of time before his ship crashed into Sidewinder and his bitter children found his hiding place.

17- The Star: Dexter Grif. The star is another symbol of balance, though this one is more about fairness and hope. Grif is someone who may act discontented but clearly cares deeply about the people around him, and his unshakeable demeanor holds the Reds together (as much as Sarge would hate to admit it). While he doesn't literally nourish the land and water like the star, he stays calm amidst a team of fiery tempers and is able to keep the warthog running if they ever need a getaway vehicle.

18- The Moon: Agent Washington. The moon is all about changes and illusions, perfect for someone like Wash who spent so much time blending into different personas. While Wash, like the moon, can appear dark and mysterious; he's ultimately a force for positive change amongst the Reds and Blues, who in turn inspire him to change into the best version of himself.

19- The Sun: Kaikaina Grif. Simple joy, that's what the sun is all about. In a canyon full of shitty people and a show full of angst, Kai is one of the only characters who's just here to have a good time. As crazy as things get for her brother and his friends, she'll always be waiting back at Blue Base with enough music and glowsticks to keep the party going.

20- Judgement: Agent Texas. Much like the angel on this card descends to judge mankind, Tex was dragged from the afterlife to separate the worthy from the corrupt. While she was created as a sort of toy in the Director's grief, she quickly established her own sense of identity and justice. She saw the truth of Project Freelancer and made it her mission to destroy it, doing her best to free the Alpha. In Blood Gulch and beyond she acted as a sort of avenging angel for the Blues, swooping in to save their asses and punish whoever she deemed to be worthy of punishment. In the end they all learned something from Tex and her fierce determination. Church became his own protector, and he could finally let Allison rest.

21- The World: The AI fragments. The world is a card of ultimate completion. Much like the many fragments who came from a more powerful AI, many symbols surround the vast and vibrant landscape of this card. Delta, Theta, Gamma, Omega, Beta, Sigma, Eta, Iota, Epsilon, and Alpha are all characters in their own right; but they're also pieces of a whole. They were never able to reunite fully in Red vs Blue, but they live on in the memories of Epsilon and all of us who return to the show year after year.

[muffinrecord]

Also I'm a little harsh on Magia Record's storyline being a little... soft? On the hostilities between characters. But I also understand why things are resolved the way they are.

Magia Record is ultimately a story about characters coming together and saving each other. It's baked into the gameplay-- the connect was a big feature that even made its way into the anime.

You can tell the vibe of the game just by comparing it to the anime in fact. In the anime, a ton of characters die. Iroha is unable to save Kuroe, Mifuyu and Momoko have to die as penance in exchange for saving the ones they mislead, Homura fails to save Madoka (and possibly other PMMM original characters) and rewinds time, Ui dies, Touka dies, Nemu dies. Alina dies. Alina's interactions with Karin amount to mostly fan teasing. We see magical girls in the background who are working together against Walpy, but Kanagi is barely present, which means she doesn't have her moments of grouping up with Yachiyo (and all that represents for the east versus west conflicts).

In the anime, the girls fail.

In the game, they succeed. Characters like Mifuyu, who lead others astray, try to kill themselves for redemption but are prevented from doing so because her friends love her and want her to stay with them. Kanagi gets to work with Yachiyo, showing that they have bonds and similarities beyond their differences. Momoko's group never fractures and joins the Wings of Magius, so their friendship continues to keep them propped up and saved. Kuroe is introduced late in the game but she obviously survives and learns to live on. Homura gets to save Madoka and stay her Glasses self, continuing to deepen her friendships with the rest of the gang. Ui, Touka, and Nemu get to be friends again. Touka and Nemu are put on trial but still get to work to try and save humanity. Alina fails to kill people and has Karin more prominently present to remind you of her softer sides, Nemu fails to get herself killed, and blah blah blah, you get my point. This isn't even getting into arc 2, where characters start off very hostile to everyone but smooth at towards the end.

I've got my own personal dislikes of how conflict ends in Magia Record sometimes-- I feel like it takes the easy way out and ignores more interesting routes. I think ending a story so that everyone gets along can be boring and lazy sometimes.

At the same time, I do respect the writing direction for it. I think there's value in saying that everyone (or damn near everyone) can be saved, that people ultimately want to help each other. People want to connect with other people. Friendship can save all. Your friend might be going down a dark path but you can save them through the power of subtextual yuri companionship, compassion, and understanding.

Like, it's a fantasy because you shouldn't be burning yourself to help others, but also fantasy isn't always bad. Sometimes it's nice to have stories where things work out for the better.

I do think though this is why the darker stories in the game really stand out as fan-favorites. Glasses Homura failing to save Kuro is such a gut punch because it feels like that should be impossible in the world of Magia Record, where you can march into a cult and make the leaders into good guys again. Mikoto's pain and suffering stands out because Hanna is never coming back and Mikoto isn't going to get better again. Ryo and Ikumi stay dead. Jun stays dead. Sakuya stays dead. They don't come back.

I'd wager that one reason the story "Girls in the Hood" and its follow up "Dependence Blue" are so popular (besides good writing) is because the fantasy fails and has painfully realistic outcomes in it. Jun isn't able to prevent Mitsune from contracting, despite trying her best to show that you don't need magic to be strong. The two struggle with communicating with each other, despite how much they care for one another. And Jun dies without their feelings being resolved. In a story where so many characters get happy endings (or learn to accept their circumstances), stories like this stick out and have a painful resonance.

I'm meandering again, but yeah. I wish Magia Record was more brave with its writing and that it wouldn't chicken out on pursing conflict at the expense of making characters unlikeable, but I also feel like that wasn't what it wanted to do either. We can say that it's because they wanted to keep their characters as loveable as possible given that it's a gacha and they need to market it to you, but it's also just a storytelling direction that they preferred at the end of the day. I don't have a link but I remember hearing that the writers wanted to keep the game light, that they didn't want people to log in and feel miserable playing a phone game (I could be very badly remembering this).

And you know what, sometimes that kind of cozy friendship-defies-all was very comforting. I dunno. Yeah.

[lavender-butterfly-cookie]

I literally made a post on Tumblr about this idea but thought I'd actually share it here but decided to make a more special version:

The y/ns one day going into a throw down to see who is the best y/n...the superior y/n...like the embodiment of the song 'the ultimate showdown'...Or, if you want another version I think is also super fun...'the ultimate smash bros' lol...

And can imagine the cookies standing idly by in shock as they see things like streamer cookie throwing a left hook at alien y/n or entity y/n going John Cena on timid y/n...oooor the cookies, when they notice the y/n show down, start trying to stop it, loving all the y/ns and not wanting them to destroy each other lol!

Decided to write this bonus with the version where cookie are trying to stop the fight...just various scenarios that are happening all at once because of the number of y/ns lol:

Entity, in a tree about to jump from it elbow first onto timid y/n: AND THEIR NAME IS ENTITY Y/N COOKIE!

Regular, seeing entity jump right at them: OH DEAR WITCHES-

pure vanilla, quickly running up to push timid y/n out of the way and then catch entity so they don't take fall damage: BOTH OF YOU, STOP! WE LOVE YOU EQUALLY!!!

Meanwhile:

Streamer, holding a modified keyboard to work both as a keyboard and a blunt weapon in their hands: LET'S FUDGING DO THIS!

Alien, with a blunt alien weapon: COME AT ME, YOU COWARD!

Caramel arrow: OK, BREAK IT UP YOU TWO!

Meanwhile:

Timid y/n and shy y/n...really not wanting to fight but know this is a free for all and both immediately think the other is gonna kick their butt: .....

Both immediately start crying.

Cream ferret rushes up, trying to calm them both down: shh shh it's OK you don't have to fight, let's go for hot chocolate instead...doesn't that sound nicer?

They both go off with cream ferret.

Just pure chaos heh...sorry if this idea sounds stupid just with the y/n tag having so many different kinds of y/n cookies...having a creative mind and listening to these songs all combined really makes ya think XD

Let's- Lemme just list how many Y/N cookies I've made just to be sure what I'm getting into=

Ancient Y/N- virtue of patience

Beast Y/N- Shadow of wrath

Child ancient Y/N- Virtue of innocence

Child beast Y/N- Shadow of grief

Male batman Y/N

Entity Y/N

Alien Y/N- (No stories on them yet)

Robot Y/N

Streamer Y/N

Timid Y/N

Shy Y/N

Ghost Y/N

Merchant Y/N

Isekai'd Y/N

Baker Y/N

Tarzan Y/N

Child of White Lily cookie Y/N

Yeah- I'm gonna figure out how to do all of them T T oh boy-

Y/N cookie showdown!

On a random day of a random week on a random month in a random year, the Y/N cookies found themselves in a predicament. They wanted to be the best Y/N cookie. But what happens when everyone wants to be the best? They argue and fight to claim that title. And unfortunately for the cookies, these 17 cookies were no different.

Ancient Y/N cookie and Beast Y/N cookie are trying to stangle each other

Ancient Y/N: DIE, FOWL BEAST!

Beast Y/N: TASTE MY WRATH, STUPID COPY!!!!

Pure Vanilla cookie and Shadow Milk cookie are tying their hardest to pull the two apart.

The Children aren't exactly any better, even if they aren't fighting physically since Mystic Flour cookie and White Lily cookie are holding them back.

Ancient child Y/N: Crybaby!

Beast child Y/N: Goody two shoes!

Both stop talking for a moment, before crying to the adults.

Both: They were being mean to me!

Mystic Flour cookie: There there,

White Lily cookie: It's ok little one.

Male Batman Y/N: *Holding merchant Y/N in a choke hold* Admit your defeat!

Merchant Y/N: *Wheezing* Over my dead body!

Male Batman Y/N: That can be arranged!

Black Raisin cookie: *Trying to push them apart* No! Stop fighting! I love you both too much to lose any of you! Stop!

Streamer Y/N: *Hitting Alien Y/N with their keyboard* Be gone!

Alien Y/N: *Behind a shield* Like your father?!

Caramel Arrow cookie: No no- no insults! Stop fighting before any of you get hurt!

Robot Y/N: *Trying to shoot entity Y/N* STOP MOVING SO I CAN ELIMINATE YOU!!!

Entity Y/N: *Moving in all kinds of inhumane ways* MAKE ME, METAL HEAD!

Agent Jjajang cookie: No- don't taunt each other! Just behave for witches sake!!!

Baker Y/N: *The only sensible one at the moment* Guys- there isn't a best Y/N, stop fighting-

Ghost Y/N and Isekai'd Y/N: SHUT UP!

Isekai'd Y/N: I'm about to exorcise a stupid ghost!

Ghost Y/N: Not if I hit you with another truck first!

Pumpkin pie cookie: No! Stop fighting! You'll end up hurting yourselves! Please stop!

Tarzan Y/N: *Casually holding child of White Lily cookie (COWL) Y/N by their ankle* Hahahahahaha

COWL Y/N: Put me down you brute! Put me down right now!

Cherry Blossom cookie: Aye! put them down!- put- Hey! Put them down and stop fighting this instant!

Shy Y/N: *Thinking they're done for*

Timid Y/N: *Thinking it's over for them*

Both begin crying and Cream Ferret cookie rushes to them both.

Cream Ferret cookie: Hey hey, it's ok. You don't have to fight. You're safe. Come on, let's get you some ice cream and candy for the other two crying over there.

Both nod as they follow Cream Ferret cookie.

[howtofightwrite]

Are horned helmets actually a thing? How would a fantasy race that has horns... compesate for them?

Only in the sense that people do make them for various reasons. There are ceremonial and ornamental horned helmets dating back into the bronze age. There's a famous example that was gifted to Henry the VIII in the 1500s.

As I said, some were made for religious ceremonies. Usually for priests of horned deities (there's a bunch of these.) In these cases it could be made from either metal or actual animal horns. I'm not familiar with much beyond that in these cases because archaeology and anthropology are a little outside my area of expertise. I'm not aware of any religions that still use horned helmets, but it really wouldn't surprise me if it pops up from time to time. I'd also categorize head gear with attached antlers in the same range here. It wouldn't surprise me if it exists, or existed, but, I'm not aware of any examples.

We have depictions of horned helmets from knights at tourney in the 14th century. (And at least one surviving example.) This is probably legitimate. At least, in so far as that the knights may have worn horned helmets to show off. Though, this head gear wasn't something that a knight would wear onto the battlefield.

The modern image of the horned helmet (and the association with Vikings) has a lot more to do with Wagner's The Ring Cycle, and particularly stage performances of that opera. (It's not technically original to that, but the horned Viking was a 19th century German invention.) This also the source for a lot of novelty hats and helmets that you can readily obtain today.

The problem with horned helmets on the battlefield is that it gives your opponent something to grab in a tight melee. And letting someone get control of your head in a fight is a very bad thing. This is made worse with a helmet, where the foe could easily unseat the headgear, potentially blinding the wearer long enough to kill them.

There are historical examples of horned helmets intended for use on the battlefield. The Japanese are probably the easiest example to reference. However, in these cases, the horned helmets were worn, specifically, by officers, and communicated their authority to their soldiers, so they could more effectively issue orders. Somewhat obviously, that's not someone you're going to see in the meat grinder of the front lines. (Also, in most cases, these horns were oriented vertically, and were probably too small to grip. The surviving knight's helm, mentioned above, also featured vertically mounted horns.)

Similarly, if you had examples of horned cavalry helms (particularly vertically mounted horns) used by late medieval or even early modern cavalry, that wouldn't surprise me. Especially if that was part of their parade dress. While it's not horns, the winged hussars come to mind as another example of absurd ornamentation on cavalry, and they continued operating until the late 18th century.

Now, as for a fantasy race, I could see grabbing their horns being a very, very, bad idea. This is somewhat informed by the fact that the first example that comes to mind is the minotaur, where grabbing their horns is probably a pretty good way to ensure you're going to get a horn run through your chest. Ultimately though, it becomes a bit like grabbing someone's hair. You've just committed a limb to limiting their head's range of motion, while leaving both of their arms unfettered. On the battlefield, that sounds like a great way to get stabbed in the armpit and die.

So, they are real in the sense that they existed (and still exist), but their actual use in warfare was extremely limited due to practical considerations. That said, people have thought they looked cool for thousands of years, and they're around. Though the Viking helmet is a complete fabrication by 19th century Germans trying to make the Vikings look cooler.

-Starke

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[beifong-brainrot]

your analyses of Lin came to mind the other day when I saw someone post about how “Lin should be able to smack Korra at least once.” And like. It’s not just one post, it seems to be a common ‘jokey’ attitude in the fandom, and…it’s really interesting how much the fandom loves Lin acting violent and aggressive towards everyone - particularly against Korra, who acts in a similar “aggressive” manner but not nearly as shitty (imo), but the fandom seems to despise her for it.

So I was wondering if you have any thoughts specifically on Lin and Korra’s relationship? Both in canon and how the fandom treats them?

Oh yeah, I think I've seen that post! I've honestly been wanting to do more Lin metas but have been holding off because back when I posted a lor of Suyin defences I got a not insignificant amount of nasty anonymous asks, and I know that Lin is beloved by the fandom so while I make my passive aggressive comment from time to time, actually dwelling on the subject is a bit of a gambit.

Honestly, it's not even that I dislike Lin. I actually enjoyed her character a fair amount when I first watched the show and was totally on board with the fandom loving this character. But eventually I got so tired of the constant takes about how everyone in Lin's life is soooo mean to her and how she never did anything wrong and she's secretly just a lil bean , she's just a biy grumpy guys.

And, oh, the jokey comments about how Lin should be allowed to smack Korra, a teen, who, in my opinion gets smacked around fairly enough in the show. Or how she should be allowed to curbstomp Tenzin, despite us knowing very little about their relationship other than the fact that Lin atatcked his house and misused her power as a police officer to terrorise his new partner. Or how Suyin, a woman who has gone through so much to change and become a better person and still keeps ger heart open for those who hurt her, should die or be killed.

Like yeah, they're jokes, but they speak to how the fandom quickly takes Lin's side in most situations, even when there is more nuance to the situation. I think taht due to tlok having such a large amount of violence and fight scenes ans perhaps due to the personality of Korra herself, the fandom has normalised Lin's aggressive and often physical behaviour. And because most of the characters are teens, Lin's immaturity as a person doesn't stick out too much.

But Lin isn't a teen, like Korra or Mako. She's a 50+ year old woman and a fucking cop at that. She should know better. I think one of my favourite questions Lin's character mames me ask is: "how long can you cling to your trauma before its your responsibility to strive to do better?".

This isn't to say that Lin is a horrible person. I'd actually say she's a pretty good person. It's obvious she cares and she can try to be empathetic when the chips are down. But her lack of emotional maturity makes it difficult for her to actually act on her feelings when not in a life or death situation.

Ultimately this is what I like about Lin as a character, her duality. A very protective and thoghtful person, who has stagnated in a shell of anger and aggression.

And I think Lin's relationship with Korra ilustrates this duality perfectly.

I do enjoy Lin and Korra's arguments due to their chemistry and the excellent voice acting. But like it is still an adult yelling at and holding an actual grudge against a 17 year old. Who is already under a huge amount of stress.

I also think that we often forget that in her tiffs with Lin, Korra often starts off with a suprising amount of calmness and grace. She often attempts to actively connect with Lin and express her point through conversation, despite this being sonething Korra markedly struggles with.

Korra : But there were some thugs threatening a helpless shopkeeper, and I had it ... Lin: [Aggressively.] Can it! You should have called the police and stayed out of the way. Korra: [Slightly pleading tone.] But I couldn't jut sit by and do nothing. It's my duty to help people. See, I'm the Avatar.

[...]

Korra: Wait, Beifong? Lin Beifong? [Excitedly.] You're Toph's daughter! Lin: [Seriously.] What of it? Korra: [A hint of amusement suppressed in her tone.] Well then, why are you treating me like a criminal? Avatar Aang and your mother were friends. They saved the world together.

Through the first season, we're lead to infer that Lin's unfounded animosity towards Korra has something to do with her grudge against Tenzin. I can see this not only due to Tenzin's association witg Korra as her teacher and the son of the previous Avatar, but also due to some similarities between Korra ans Tenzin. They're both people saddled with a major responsibility and legacy, who struggle with forming their own identity due to that legacy. Plus, the comic we got about young Tenzin is essentially 1 to 1 Korra's first day in republic city.

Side note: can we stop demonising Tenzin for leaving Lin? I'm pretty sure it's not confirmed that Tenzin left her purely because he needed to have children. And honestly if after he broke up with Lin, she damaged his home, used her posution to terrorise his new partner, and held a grudge for 11+ years, I'm honestly not to sure what to think about their relationship pre breakup. ESPECIALLY with how willy nilly tlok plays with female on male abuse. No, I'm not saying Lin is an abusor, but there may be other factors we need to consider. I mean Lin does outwardly laugh and sympathise with Korra throwing Mako's desk across the room which is the Makorra abuse moment ™️

Though I also adore the implication in B3 that Lin is also reminded of Suyin by Korra. This also is a comparison that makes sense. Korra and Su were both young, rebellious women who had to leave home to find themselves. Both had tendency to be sarcastic and were opinionated and had a habit of defying authority etc.

And I think this may be even more of a reason why Lin has such an aggresive vendetta against Korra and also why she's so controlling in the later seasons. Particularly when she gets on Korra's ass at the party and says that Korra is "nothing special" feels targeted towards Lin feeling like Suyin got special treatment.

Lin being controlling towards Korra can also be seen as her trying to compensate for when she tried to similarly control Su, but Suyin ended up defying her. (While I see a lot of people bring up parentification between Lin and Su, I'll lean more towards it being a very intense rivalry)

Either way, Korra reminds Lin of people who have hurt her and the hurt she seems to cling to in some parody of comfort in familiarity.

This is one of the most visible patterns in Lin I see. Her absolute abhorrence of changing her mindset. She holds a grudge against Tenzin for over 11 years. She holds a grudge against Su and Toph for longer than that. She is so horrifically resistant to even touching the idsa that Suyin had changed as a person. And even after her and Su make up, the moment the opportunity arrises, Lin is back to typecasting Suyin as the bad guy.

People say that Korra was too harsh in The Metal Clan when she called Lin out.

Korra : Su's right. You're never going to change. You're always gonna be a bitter, lonely woman.

And yeah, it was objectively an incredibly mean thing to say and Korra was quite out of line. But she's not wrong. We see Lin struggle with making human connections, we've deduced that her grip on the past makes her hold grudges against people she's never met. We see her be immature, aggressive and emotionally closed off. If she were a healthy individual outside of Zaofu, I would encourage her distancing herself from Suyin. But clearly whatever coping mechanism Lin has is leaving her pushing people away and treating teenagers like her peers.

Like something clearly needs to change.

And I think that's another reason why Korra and Lin are such a fun duo. Because Korra goes through so mucuhchange herself. She shanges the world, she changes the lives of her friends, she changes herself.

And that's something Lin desperately needs and yet fears all the same. This also makes it even more interesting that Aiwei, a member of the Red Lotus who embody that "change" concept was a vital part of Lin and Suyin begining to reconcile.

And I think Lin knows this, to some extent. She knows her coping mechanisms are flawed, but she doesn't want to acknowledge this. But I need to talk about Lin's babystep trail of an arc in a different post.

I was gonna say that Lin and Korra are also similar but honestly other than their tempers and tendency to terrorise their tallass ex boyfriends, there isn't much there.

I still find Lin and Korra's relationship to have some sweet moments. I loved Lin and Korra's moment of kinship afterthey both lost their bending, how gently Korra grabbed Lin after she passed out in Zaofu, how Lin helped Korra get up the stairs after she was paralysed.

I think that one of the reasons they argue so much in B3 partocularly is because they care for each other quite a bit. They just embody two polar opposites. Korra- change and danger. Lin- stagnation and protection. Of course they'll fight.

----

I don't exactly like how fandom treats Korra and Lin's relationship because it always feels ao watered down. This kinda extends to the entire Krew too. The 'Lin is like the Krew's mom' thing. Because on the jokey surface, yeah, i see it. Female authority figure who makes sure they don't get into trouble. Plus fandom has a tendency to forcefully assign cishet traditional family dynamics to found family.

But on a deeper level, acting as if Lin were a mother to the Krew is in my opinion, a bit of an insult to mothers everywhere. Because Lin acts less like an adult and more like a... slightly older teen? Which makes sense, we see that very little has changed in how Lin approaches young people since she was 22. She treats the Krew like peers, bickering with them and making snide comments, but then pulls the authority figure when she wants something. That's like the worst type of adult.

[This is ironic because my mom is actually very much like Lin and this is probably why I gave her so much of a pass when I watched tlok the first time]

Lin is a big sister/aunt figure to most of the Krew at best. Maybe except Mako but he has his own demons and is making himself a son figure whether Lin likes it or not.

But Korra is basically Lin's stand-in for her sister and they both act like it too. They act like me and my sister tbh. And Asami and Bolin barely interact with Lin anyway. There's more ground to posit Su as Bolin's potential mother figure!

Lin is a fascinating character to me, but fandom tropes have sorta ruined her for me. I came into the fandom really liking her character but ended up sorta jaded to seeing the same questionable takes about her over and over again. It just makes me see how little her potential is explored in the show. The writers failed Lin, not by not allowing her to 'win' against Su and Korra and Tenzin and whoever. They failed her by not giving her the storyline she needed. The storyline for which the main catalyst, Korra already was at the centre of the board. They half assed Lin's storyline and now literally every character who so much as looked at Lin has to pay the price.

[Ooh wow symbolism Lin glaring at Zaofu, Suyin's home, but actually glaring at her own reflection.]

I now realise that I have gone on for way too long and got hotrifically off topic, but I hope I have explained at least a few if my thoughts?

[biggie-chcese]

Why I think Yomi Hellsmile should've died in Chapter 4

(this essay isnt what you think it is. spoilers for the whole game btw)

Alright so let me preface this by saying that this is not a Yomi Hellsmile hate essay. I like Yomi. He's my favorite peacekeeper. He's funny, he's entertaining, and he makes for a very effective antagonist. So why have him die? Well, for the same reason I wouldn't have Yakou live: I think it makes for a better story.

So here's the true title of my essay: A Critique of how Rain Code's Narrative Handles the Peacekeepers (and by Extension, Yomi) and their Downfall

Let's start with Yomi's downfall in canon. Yuma and Vivia find out his role in Huesca's murder and, ultimately, Yakou's death, and are angry beyond belief. But they're also helpless to do anything as they escape the labyrinth with vengeance on their minds. Of course, this gets shut down immediately, and then Makoto ex machina comes in with Martina in tow to arrest Yomi for his money laundering and bribery. And right then and there, in one fell swoop, the peacekeepers are completely eliminated as a threat in the story to be replaced by Makoto.

But okay... isn't that super underwhelming? The peacekeepers and Amaterasu corp have been the main driving force of the game's primary conflict, and yet somehow they are completely eliminated as a threat because Makoto grabbed a few files off screen. And also, this brings me to my first major issue I have with this ending:

Part 1: Why the fuck do they care?

No I'm serious. Why do the peacekeepers care? So what if Yomi bribed his way to the top? You mean to tell me that the cops who spent the entire game assaulting and antagonizing civilians give a shit? They're never shown to have any sort of problem with their corruption. They send people to be executed on whims and knowingly, regularly falsify evidence on murder cases. At best the peacekeepers are indifferent to the suffering they cause, and at worst they are gleefully complicit in it. So, again, why do they care about Yomi's money schemes? In fact, they only benefit from Yomi's rule because he gives them the power to freely instill fear in Kanai Ward's citizens. The game never, at any point, has an "are we the baddies?" moment from them nor does it ever even try to have at least one peacekeeper question Yomi's authority, even when he's throwing them under the bus. Throughout the whole game, they stand as a completely one-note, cartoonishly evil representation of police corruption.

So why the sudden heel turn? The resolution of chapter 4 feels so jarring to me because the game has zero buildup to it. This also applies to Martina's return. Actually let's also talk about her.

Part 2: So... Martina's return lowkey is kinda lame

Don't get me wrong, I was pretty hype when she came back. But also, the magic wore off pretty quickly for me because I didn't understand why she was suddenly a whole different character. I suppose her brush with death gave her some time to contemplate her actions, or perhaps she felt indebted to Makoto and asked him what she should do, or maybe Makoto held her life over her head and told her to change her act or he's letting her get cubed. Who knows? We get nothing expanding on this so it could be anything.

I feel like people kinda forget that Martina was just as corrupt as Yomi? Like, she is not his helpless victim. I'd even argue that their relationship isn't abusive. Martina is in it with her own interests in mind in addition to just being a massive sadomasochist. I cannot stress this enough: whatever tf she and Yomi had going on, she was completely into it. Even at the end of chapter 2, she was drooling over him and the idea of punishment... until Yomi crossed a line.

Y'see, Martina thought she was special. She thought that whatever punishment Yomi had for her Aetheria Academy blunder, she'd come out of it alive, because she's his beloved right hand. Yomi then showed her that she's just as disposable as the rest of his underlings by ordering her to be brutally executed. That is when she becomes a victim.

Anyway, I'm saying all this to make a point that Martina hasn't shown any interest in being an honest cop until chapter 4. It's completely out of nowhere, just like with the other peacekeepers.

"But Biggie," you may be thinking, "why would Yomi dying fix these issues?" Well I'm so glad you hypothetically asked!

Part 3: We love missed potential, baby!

Kodaka sometimes does this thing where he introduces an interesting concept that plays with the rules of the game... and then doesn't commit to it. Think like the double murder clause in Danganronpa V3 chapter 3, where they mention that if two separate murderers act in the same day then only one of those murders counts. Then they do nothing with this, and instead create a very weak chapter.

This is a similar problem I have with the tail end of chapter 4's mystery labyrinth, which is a really amazing labyrinth that introduces a really amazing concept: taking down a secret mastermind. After reaping the culprit's soul, they have this cool, brand new secret area that... does nothing. No, I'm serious. Nothing happens. All it does is piss Yuma and Vivia off and waste everyone's time. They find out Yomi's involvement in the case, but they still don't do anything with that. Sure it brings a whole new feeling of hopelessness, but doesn't that make Yomi's downfall literally five minutes later through the mundane actions of someone else off screen seem all the more underwhelming? From a gameplay and storytelling standpoint, I think this is just... a cop-out. I think it'd be cool if he was involved enough in Huesca's murder to count as an accomplice, then with Vivia and Shinigami at his side, Yuma reaps Yomi's soul. It's a decent payoff for the NDA and the player while supporting the game's message about the importance of finding the truth. And god does the game need support in that regard, because the Mystery Labyrinth almost never helps and Yuma instead gets saved by someone else (which would've been nice to expand on if we go this route bc there's something interesting about Yuma calling for the labyrinth to kill people for ultimately no reason, but they don't do anything with that and that is a WHOLE other essay lol).

But this is not my main reason that Yomi should've died here. I wouldn't feel so strongly if that was the case. No, my problem lies with a character that isn't Yomi, and what is part of the entire reason Rain Code's plot exists.

Part 4: Is Makoto fucking stupid?

"/lh" by the way. Makoto is my second favorite character in this game behind Yuma, and I adore him. His story, his motivations, his undying will to be a protector of a people that no one else will protect, by any means necessary... he is such an incredible character and antagonist and I genuinely adore him. But I have one eensy weensy, teeny weeny little issue with him:

Why did he need the detectives to oust Yomi?

Makoto claims in the ch 5 labyrinth that the reason the detectives were brought over was to oust Yomi, which leads me to believe the command for the detectives to come to Kanai Ward was his work, not Number One's, then Number One simply caught onto this and took advantage of the situation to sneak in. Though, that's just a guess on my part, mind you. So I suppose he was just desperately hoping at least one of them would take care of Yomi, but isn't that weird?

The detectives don't ever find the evidence of Yomi's money laundering and bribery. Makoto does. The detectives don't ever bring Yomi's corruption to light. Yomi... already does that without their help. Actually, why didn't he secretly team up with the Resistance for that? Too busy ignoring Dohya District's glaring issues, Makoto? Too busy turning a blind eye to your people's suffering?

Uh. Anyway, the only detective that actually does something beneficial for Makoto and kills Huesca is Yakou, who was already in Kanai Ward. And don't tell me that Makoto accounted for Fubuki and Desuhiko's fortes here because that part of the plan was all Yakou's idea. If Makoto could've predicted this, he would've just called the detectives necessary to this plan instead of luring in a bunch of them at once to get slaughtered.

Tons of detectives died coming to Kanai Ward to do... what? Distract Yomi? Could the World's Greatest Mind truly never come up with a better distraction for a guy who didn't even realize his Martina Cube™ order never came in? Yomi isn't shown to be some sort of hypervigilant supergenius nor is he nearly on Makoto's level. Could he truly not have outsmarted Yomi and led him astray long enough to grab a little binder of paper?

So, once again, you may be wondering how Yomi's death would fix this. Well, Yuma, a detective, is the one who kills Yomi.

Makoto is well aware of Yuma using the Book of Death at this point. So what better way to get rid of Yomi than to carefully manipulate the detective who has the Perfect Criminal Murder Tool™? Makoto can't just assassinate Yomi himself- that would make him the main suspect and he'd have to do a lot of PR maintenance to get the rest of Amaterasu Corp off his back. But Yomi mysteriously dying of a heart attack while Makoto isn't anywhere around... well, that's different.

"But wait," you may be thinking, "doesn't Makoto want to keep Yomi alive because he's a Kanai Ward citizen, and he loves Kanai Ward?"

Good point! But doesn't that also apply to Yakou, whom he also had a hand in manipulating into that crazy sui-homocide of Dr. Huesca? Or, what about Fink? Remember him? Makoto killed him for "knowing too much." I know that information is missable, but it's there. And don't tell me it's just because he's a hitman and has killed other Kanai Ward residents, because Yomi has sent many residents to their deaths without trial... not a huge difference. So a body count isn't really on Makoto's "should I kill them" conditions, it seems.

If Fink gets killed for "knowing too much," then Yomi shouldn't be exempt from this, especially when he was leaking homunculus information to the outside world. That goes far beyond "knowing too much." It just doesn't make sense.

But you know what does? Makoto actually using the detectives to wipe his hands clean of Yomi's mess. Yakou is used to take care of Huesca, Yuma is used to take care of Yomi, and Makoto gets to sit back, relax, and watch everything play out just as planned.

And later, in the next chapter, when Yuma learns about Makoto using him like this, he realizes that he's truly been had.

Part 5: How I think it should play out

I'm not being a hater. In fact, I deeply love this game and have a lot of respect for Kodaka and the writing team, so please don't take my little rant as some sort of effort to bash on my favorite video game because that's not what this is. I'm not gonna prop myself up as a better writer than anyone on the team because I'm not, but I'll still try my hand at rewriting this scene to fit my personal taste. So I would like for you to imagine with me, the end of chapter 4...

Yuma and Vivia find the secret area of the labyrinth and find out that Yomi has been masterminding Huesca's murder. Shinigami points out that, hey, that's why the labyrinth is falling so slowly: we haven't finished it off! Vivia stands by Yuma's side, and all of them, driven by their rage and desire to see justice be done, reap the soul of the true mastermind through one final strike of the solution blade. Labyrinth collapses, snap back to reality, oop there goes gravity, oop there goes Yomi, who collapses on the ground.

The peacekeepers are surprised and approach the body. They find that Yomi is dead. They're shocked, and as this is happening, Yuma isn't sure what to feel. Is he glad that he managed to avenge Yakou? Not quite, because Yakou is still gone, the hitman is still out there, and everything still hurts. But a part of him feels... vindicated. Vivia seems to have equally complicated feelings about this. For once, it was... kind of worth it to find the truth, even if a bit messy.

Well now the peacekeepers confirmed Yomi is dead, but now they're accusing the detectives of this. And they're honestly kinda right. Yuma and Vivia realize that they're in kind of deep shit, but the sound of Martina's voice comes from off screen asking what on earth is going on here, making everyone freeze.

Enter her, Makoto, and Seth (I'll say why he's here too in a moment). They're surprised at the sight before them, but Makoto only pretends to be. Then you see it... Martina and Seth go from visibly suprised... to relieved. And there's something oddly triumphant, yet a bit chilling about Makoto and the two people we've witnessed Yomi throw under the bus standing over his corpse. It feels thematic now, as if righteous judgement has come. And... it also solves the "what happened to Seth" question, lol.

Makoto shakes his head and sighs, stepping over the corpse and approaching Yuma and Vivia as he comes up with an excuse: "I always told him that those temper tantrums weren't good for his blood pressure. I guess his heart couldn't take it anymore."

He then nods to the others. Seth instructs the peacekeepers to clean up the body, as they rot quickly in this city. There's this foreboding feeling in the peacekeepers' obedience and efficiency, and Yuma begins to wonder if he did a good thing. Did his actions change the peacekeepers for the better, he asks himself, or did he simply shift the power over to someone worse? Shinigami tells him she doesn't know.

Makoto approaches them with good news: they found and arrested the hitman! Yuma, frightened, does not address that and instead asks him why the other high ranking peacekeepers are here. Makoto says that they... owe him a favor. Martina expresses her gratefulness for him stopping her execution order and asks if they can do anything else, to which Makoto replies telling her no, they're doing an excellent job. After some more conversation, Seth, Martina, and the peacekeepers then leave with Yomi's body to let Makoto talk privately to Yuma and Vivia. Makoto apologizes for their loss of Yakou and offers some faux sympathy. They're both... still conflicted about this conclusion, but Makoto tells them they're free to go, so they'll think about it later. Oh, but before they leave, he gives Yuma a little gift: a suspicious black box. Of course, Yuma can't open it just yet- it's a surprise!

Then the rest could play out pretty much normally (though an encounter with zombie Yomi chapter 5 seems inevitable and also awesome).

I think this alone would solve every issue I addressed before. The peacekeepers do not change out of nowhere. They simply reallocate power and there's still this feeling of them being a threat as they're now directly connected to the game's true antagonist. There's now a theme to Martina's return with Seth's presence as well. There's now a narrative purpose to that final section of the mystery labyrinth with proper payoff. And, most importantly, Makoto's motivations to use the detectives make more sense.

By the way, if any Yomi lovers think that he should stay alive for a potential return in the sequel... isn't it such a blessing that Yakou's DLC introduced this pretty neat little pill that could still make that possible? Just saying.

So yeah. Yuma, for the sake of narrative payoff and character writing consistency, please kill this clown. Thanks for reading <3

[rockybloo]

With it nearing the end of the year, I feel like it's a good time to just have some real talk about why I create art.

At some point during in high school, during those years where you are pressured to figure out what you want to do when you grow up and what you want to major in when you go to college, I had wanted to go to art school after high school. I decided against it ultimately because I just didn't see a true appeal for me. I started to realize that I enjoyed my art so much more when I didn't have the pressure on me to create something for a fancy final product. Yeah, I could go but then I'd have to change aspects of myself I didn't really want to change but had to because that's what the world says I gotta do if I want to be a good artist.

And that's the thing I sort of hate the most about being able to create anything. You have to be good. Otherwise you are wasting your time. You aren't allowed to just make stuff for fun and for a hobby - you have to constantly be striving for improvement at a pace others have set for you. You can't just have it as a hobby. If you make art then it's expected that you make good art.

You're not allowed to be satisfied with being mediocre.

I've been actively posting my art online since I opened a Deviantart account way back in middle school. I'm 26, on my way to becoming 27. And as someone who has spent a solid decade online, I feel more certain than ever that I am a hobby artist. Having a fulltime job DEFINIATELY has helped me come to that conclusion but even before, I knew I liked to draw for fun. I don't like to stress about what I am sharing to cyberspace, I like just having this digital archive of stuff I've made and stories I've written.

I call myself a self indulgent artist because I'm incredibly selfish draw things I want and write stories I'd enjoy.

That's not to say I don't care that people enjoy my work and feel represented at times. I love it when people share how happy they feel when they see my OCs and read my stories. I'm happy I can fulfill some niches for people. Honestly, it'll always be crazy to me when I make something so damn specific that I wanna see and share it just for some other people to get excited. There are benefits to having a public digital archive your art and reactions people may have are one of them.

But ultimately I don't create to make others happy. If I did focus my art on just doing that, I promise you that my online presence and art would look DRASTICALLY different.

I share my stuff online because it's a whole lot easier to archive all my art as well as being able to share my stuff with the world and occasionally make some friends. Posting my art shows I was alive so MAYBE JUST MAYBE I will not be watered down when recalled in memories and people will always know I was insane about my OCs.

I'm pretty satisfied with be a mid artist. My finished work makes me happy, and what I care about is managing to create something of the fellas that reside in my head because seeing my OCs makes me happy...AND I'M THE ONLY SOURCE OF CONTENT FOR THEM SO I GOTTA COOK MY OWN FOOD AND EAT IT TOO--

ANYWAYS I am in no rush to level myself up. I'm 27 and human lifespans are pretty long. Even though it's slow and subtle, I have def been making improvements in my work...but mainly because there are aspects about my OCs that I occasionally realize I am struggling with and pull a "Do it for her" as I work on what I am having a hard time with. SURE they might not be improvements others would like to see but they are improvements that make me happy. And I am excited to see how my art develops over my existence on this planet.

.

.

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...I am also excited to see if my black ass can finish any of my webcomics before I die. I KNOW I CAN DEF FINISH ONE OF 'EM I JUST DUNNO WHICH ONE IT'S GONNA BE! IT'S A RACE TO SEE WHO MAKES IT TO THE FINISH LINE BEFORE I KEEL OVER

[talistheintrovert]

Hi, Talis! I have a bit of a random question - do you have any sort of 'starter pack' recommendations for Chinese dramas? (I've really been enjoying Mysterious Lotus Casebook, but haven't been sure where to go from there.)

oooooh, EXCELLENT question!!

If we're going via "these men are in love but [CENSORSHIP SIREN RINGS LOUDLY]" then I'd go for

Guardian: semi-modern sci-fi/fantasy featuring a chaotic bisexual detective and the all-powerful god-like uptight professor he bothers into loving him. 10/10, bonkers CGI and ridiculous side characters only add to the enjoyment

2. Sound of Providence/Ultimate Note (really any of The Lost Tomb series but these are my personal favourites). Three idiots that call themselves The Iron Triangle (said idiots are a genius, a wiseguy, and a semi-immortal amnesiac) and their various tomb-raiding adventures!

Also has iconic side characters, might I add. The chronology of this whole series is so baffling and ridiculous I may have to make a video about it, but these two series hold a special place in my heart - they came out within weeks of each other, but in one the characters are in their 40s and in the other they're like... 22? at most? ICONIC, BEAUTIFUL, SHOWSTOPPING-

also the genius and the immortal amnesiac are in love, and the wiseguy is basically their third, it's a whole thing

3. Under the Skin

modern day crime series, featuring a detective and an artist. The artist is a SAVANT who can basically draw ANYTHING he puts his mind to, but in the past it meant he accidentally got an undercover cop killed without knowing. A few years later, he decides to become a police sketch artist as repentance. Said cop was our detective's mentor, and he's still salty about it but OH LOOK, THEY'VE BEEN PARTNERED UP!

4. WORD OF HONOR

my favourite of the fantasy homoerotic dramas, and the one that inspired me to start writing a video essay about them. Two soulmates meet who are destined for nothing but misery - one is trying to destroy the entire martial arts world for revenge and the other is an ex-assassin who's chosen to die slowly as penance for his murders. Through each other (and their idiot adopted son) they find happiness, kinda. This show is part of why I liked Mysterious Lotus Casebook so much - very similar found-family vibes, except they start out as enemies in MLC, whereas in this they start out as reluctant allies.

non-extremely-homoerotic recs:

Love Story Between Fairy and Devil

Evil being who has been trapped in a magical prison escapes said prison by accidentally body-swapping with an innocent fairy, but even after they swap back, he's tied to her (feels pain when she does, etc.) and so has to keep her around against his will. Enemies to lovers gorgeousness.

2. 19th Floor

fantasy/sci-fi drama where a group of strangers get thrust into an AI world (in a good way, the way AI ACTUALLY MEANS) where if you get hurt in the game, you go into a coma in real life. Every level has a different extremely fucked up mechanic to solve, and the cast are an absolute delight, also the main male lead is played by one of my favourite actors, so I'm slightly biased. Extremely cuntslay show.

3. My Journey to You

A group of female assassins go undercover in a kingdom to apply to be wives to the royals in order to take them down from the inside but OH NO, MIGHT THEY ACTUALLY FALL IN LOVE WITH THEIR TARGETS???? Also the female assassins are weirdly sapphic with each other, which I thoroughly enjoyed, and Esther Yu is one of the hottest women to ever exist and you may quote me on that.

gif from here: https://talistheintrovert.tumblr.com/post/730663645629054976 because it wouldn't let me do it properly (credit: @xiaolanhua )

4. You Are My Glory

dorky romance between two of the most stunningly beautiful people I've ever seen in my life, seriously, it's ridiculous. Their chemistry is good, the story is easy, and it's generally a fun, romantic watch.

5. Love You Seven Times

two gods(?) forced to live seven different lifetimes together because of a mishaps, it's glorious, it's gender envy, it's enemies to friends to lovers to enemies to lovers to friends to lovers excellence.

6. Till the End of the Moon

Did you like Love Between Fairy and Devil? then you'll LOVE this show, which has functionally the same plot, except that the female lead KNOWINGLY tries to seduce the future evil villain in order to either assassinate him or stop him from becoming evil, it's a coin toss for her. A brilliant show with fantastic performances and some of the best costume design on this list (which is a high bar, the costumes in all these shows serve unbelievable amounts of cunt).

I hope those are enough to keep you going for a little while! I'm always here to answer rec asks fr, it's one of my favourite things.

Anyway, I'm off to cross the nullabor, so I'll be out of range for the next few days, I hope you enjoy this nonsense!