#but also they have sensory issues and i have been paying so close attention to any sensory input these days

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

not sure if i'm projecting on my oc or if my oc is projecting on me

[amethystfairy1]

What’s your writing process? Like do you do outlines or just jump right into plot etc… I’m a young writer (14) and really admire your work and want to get better myself. Ty!

✨WRITING PROCESS✨

...

this.

this is my writing process.

OK TO BE REAL THO

Firstly, I don't do outlines.

I KNOW THAT'S BAD BUT I JUST DON'T

What I usually do is word vomit whatever idea I have for a fic into a notes file.

For example! Here's a little random nonsense I just copied verbatim from my notes file that might look familiar!

Tango and Z in sky, blue cracks, Z decides to drop a container with info and his phone number into the rift. He wants to talk to the hybrids, maybe he’s some sort of researcher, he went AWOL from the biotech Institute, something like that. But he is human. Then, tango finds it, or it is brought to him, because he is a direct aid to doc in the labs. Tango ends up deciding to call Z, and they end up becoming really good friends, but only over the phone. Have some fun stuff, where both Z and tango are getting a crush, but how can you crush on someone you’ve never even seen? Tango is freaking out, because he’s not the type of hybrid that can pass as human. he knows he’ll never be able to meet Z face to face. But Z is a little more determined that he gives him credit for. Also have X be a side character in the labs, voidwalker, something like that! Maybe Z is an AWOL scientist, and scar, picked him up to work in his hot guy lab, with cub.

This is the blurb that spawned the Zedango arc in TTSBC.

In case you can't tell I use the dictation function in notes because like 90% of the time I have ideas while I'm driving so I'll just tell my phone to write down whatever I'm thinking and then talk it out

So yeah! I do this, which I dunno is kinda like an outline? I do it for more or less all of my fics.

As far as other stuff, I think the best advice I can give about being a "better writer", which has to do with your question about 'jumping into plot' is to know about your characters and your world , even if you don't plan to share that information in the piece you are writing, or even like, ever.

It's the way you make your characters feel like people. I was actually talking about this with @honeylashofficial not to long ago! You should know why your characters make the choices they do, even if that information never comes up. You should know what they like and dislike and why, if they have traumas then how would those traumas affects them in small daily ways?

Jimmy in TTSBC grew used to being threatened for his wings, so now he has a love-hate relationship with them.

Tango spent a long time without a truly safe place to sleep as a child, so now he has insomnia because he has an internalized fear of falling asleep/being vulnerable.

Zed was treated very poorly at his previous workplace, and he had a terrible experience where his professional lifes work was torn to shreds in front of him, so his self-esteem is very low, and he tends to be very self-deprecating even in a joking fashion.

Cub has sensory issues that severely impact his mood because of his warden hybrid traits, so he typically keeps himself very low energy as a baseline to avoid seeming like he has mood swings.

Even little stuff like what characters notice about their surroundings! Again in TTSBC, Jimmy pays close attention to the weather and the sky, Scott notices people features and expressions, Cub has more detailed thoughts about sounds than he does about sights, stuff like that!

Also I'm gonna give ya the piece of advice no one wants to hear when they're just starting. Just write. Write a TON.

Write even if you only have half an idea. Write even if you think it's gonna be bad. Write if you have even the slightest smallest bit of a motivation to do so, just WRITE WRITE WRITE.

And I will say while I could just be one of the lucky ones, I have been posting on various fanfic websites since I was 13. And in all that time I can count on one hand the amount of hate/negative comments I have received. Over a DECADE of writing and posting and I’ve written and posted A LOT and I have only ever been met with kindness, excitement, and encouragement.

Also, the delete button exists for a reason. You curate your experience on these websites. Especially on A03, with the ability to reply to comments, you can make very clear very quickly what sort of comments you want, which ones you don't, and the vast vast vast majority will be people who are excited about your work and want to encourage you!

If you need a mood booster or some encouragement, you can find my old old stuff on FF.net under the same penname, Amethystfairy1. Just promise you won't come back over here and send asks laughing at me for how bad those stories are, ok? 😆

My point is, you learn best by doing. As you write you will get a feel for your characters, for how they interact and react, for what your specific writing style is going to be and what you enjoy writing the most. And write what you enjoy! Of course you should stretch your writing style, but also make sure you never feel like you're slogging through your writing, especially if it's for fun or creative!

OH ONE MORE THING! 👏

I HIGHLY RECCOMEND DOING A WRITING CHALLENGE!

Stuff like Whumptober, Febuwhump, Novemcomfort, AU-gust, or different fandom weeks that come up, you can find them all over tumblr! Try to participate in one of those and get in as many days as you can! It'll make you write a lot in a short period of time, and you won't have time to overthink it, which I believe is really helpful for finding your writing style and getting comfortable with writing and posting content! It'll also give you a connection to a community of other writers who are participating, especially if you plan to post your updates to tumblr like I do!

Whatever you do on your writing journey, I hope it brings you much joy, fun, and creativity! You'll create something beautiful, I just know it! 💖

[wake-me-up-inside-imagines]

This is one I've been wanting to do for a hot minute, so here we go...

The PolyTrio Boys and How They'd Treat Their Crush + How They'd Confess!

Gn! Reader (Implied male reader for Rain's segment)

Warnings: Mentions of heavy anxiety and sensory issues (Leo's part)

This isn't a yandere post, but I hope you enjoy all the same!

Micah King

For a guy as chill as Micah, he sure does get flustered around you. Not that he’ll let you know that.

There’s a good chance he began falling for you either before you even really knew each other, or early on in your friendship. He couldn’t help it though, you were just too beautiful! He can’t keep his eyes off you, it’s almost like you’ve got him in a trance. He tries to act natural, but every time he see’s you, he can feel his face heating up, and his tongue feels tied, and is it just him, or has he started to sweat a lot-

It’s funny, seeing a man as intimidating and nonchalant as Micah pine over someone he doesn’t really know. He prays that none of his friends pick up on his behavior, or else he’ll never hear the end of it.

Eventually, he’ll muster up enough courage to talk to you, and to his credit, he does a pretty good job of acting natural and normal. He doesn’t stutter once, his face remains its natural color, and he seems pretty calm throughout the whole interaction, as if it was just an average conversation with any random person. He walks away from that interaction feeling giddy and triumphant, happy he didn’t do anything to screw up your conversation.

Throughout your friendship, you remain blissfully unaware of Micah’s feelings for you, which have grown to him being fully in love with you at this point. He’s kind and chivalrous to everyone he talks to, so in your eyes, he treats you the exact same way as everybody else, but if you pay close enough attention to him, you may just catch the small blush that coats his cheeks every time he’s close to you, or how he trips over his words a little more often in your presence than with others. Not to mention, he does seem to do a lot of things for you…

Micah is a true gentleman at heart. He holds open doors for you, he carries heavier items for you, even if you can do it yourself, and he always lets you go first in everything you two do together. You think he does this for everyone, and to an extent he does, but he definitely helps you out way more than he does anyone else. It’s his way of showing how much he respects you, and him not so subtly proving how much he loves you.

He’s also extremely protective of you. If he gets even the slightest idea that you’re scared, uncomfortable, or in danger, he’s by your side in an instant. He wants nothing more than to wrap his arms around you, to hold you to his chest protectively and shield you from any harm in your vicinity, but he'll settle for pushing you behind his back, keeping you from view and reach of whatever the perceived threat is. As much as he wants to keep you close, he recognizes that you may not be comfortable with that kind of physical affection (yet), no matter the intentions. Still, he does his best to defend you, putting himself between you and the threat like an iron wall. He's like a scary guard dog almost, no one will dare mess with you while he's nearby.

On top of doing things for you and looking out for you, Micah loves to cook for you. He only does it when in a group setting so you don’t catch on to his feelings, but whenever he does, he always makes sure to make dishes he knows you like. You mentioned you had a craving for spaghetti? What a coincidence, that’s what he was planning on making tonight! You mentioned your favorite food offhandedly once? Hey, he was actually thinking about trying to make that later! You should come over and have some, no pressure tho, ahahahahaha….

The longer you're friends, the harder it becomes for him to hide his feelings. He still does a good job at remaining natural and unsuspecting around you, but it takes a lot more effort than it used to. He loves you so much, and being so near to you while not being with you is getting to him a little bit. It becomes a little more obvious when you catch him gazing at you for long periods of time, his eyes filled with love and adoration when he thinks you aren't looking, or when an uncontrollable smile crawls across his face when you say anything even remotely endearing to him. Still, unless you're very observant, it'll be hard to tell that his feelings towards you are anything but friendship.

When he decides to confess, it'll most likely be a weeks-long process. It's practically a secret admirer esque thing.

He starts by leaving little gifts for you in places that he knows you'll get them, like a mailbox or your front door. Stuff like snacks you enjoy, little knick-knacks he thinks you'll like, things relating to your interests, stuff like that. He'll even leave you some books by you're favorite author if you're an avid reader. He leaves small notes with his gifts just so that you don't think some rando is stalking you, but he never signs them off with his name, and he covers his tracks quite well, so you never realize it's him. He'll just sign it using some pseudonym he came up with so you know the gifts are from the same person.

He keeps this up for a couple weeks, until one day, you receive a rather large gift, one bigger than the rest you've been given. The gift is personalized to your interests, whether it be a more expensive item that you've mentioned wanting for a while, or just something he feels you would like, while also showing just how much he cares for you. Along with the gift, he leaves a long, detailed note explaining how much he likes you, and asks you to meet with him somewhere so the two of you can talk in person, probably somewhere you two go often. He signs it off using his pseudonym so you know it's the same person as before, and with that, he's ready to face you.

He arrives well before the arranged meeting time, spending most of it pacing around nervously and trying to hype himself up. He's scared of being rejected, but even worse is the terror of potentially losing you as a friend if you don't feel the same. He tries to reassure himself, but it's still obvious to anyone around that he's extremely nervous, which is a strange sight considering how chill he normally is.

You can see him the second you walk into your meeting spot, it would be kinda hard to miss him with how tall he is. He has an intense look of nervousness on his face, but as soon as he sees you it melts away, replaced by a warm, somewhat shaky smile. It's awkward at first, but he explains his feelings for you, how he's liked you for a long while now, and how he promised that if you were to go out with him, he'd be the best boyfriend in the world. He also assures you that it's alright if you don't share his feelings, and that he'd be ok with just being friends, if that's what you wanted. His voice sounds pretty level as he speaks, but you can tell just how nervous he is from looking at his body language.

He really hopes you like him. So for his sake... give him your answer quickly.

Rain Cantrell

Like Micah, there's a good chance you caught Rain's eye before you even became friends. Unlike Micah, he doesn't wait long to approach you. He doesn't even necessarily have a crush on you when he comes up to you for the first time, it's more like he thinks you're hot and/or cool and wants to get to know you a little bit more.

The first thing he ever says to you is probably some complement or a flirtatious remark. He makes his outlandish personality apparent from the get-go, so you know exactly what you're getting into when you continue to hang out with him. Although, to be fair, he's not gross about it. He loves to tease and he doesn't seem to have much shame, but once you get to know him, you find out that he's a genuinely sweet dude.

He probably didn't mean for it to turn into full blown crush, not at first, at least. He fully intended on just becoming friends, he didn't imagine he'd end up falling in love with you. But after a couple months of spending time hanging out with you, he can feel himself getting flustered in a way he never really gets around his flings, or people he doesn't really know. Once he's sorted out his feelings, he wastes no time in trying to let you know, he doesn't want to waste his time pining after somebody if they aren't interested in him. Better to find out now than wait and find out later, at least in his eyes.

He becomes very touchy with you. Like, overly touchy. He'll stop if you ask him to, but otherwise, he's draping himself over you, hugging you from behind whenever he gets the chance, holding your hand nonchalantly, cuddling up to you when you sit together, that kind of thing. He loves the feeling of your skin against his, it makes him feel happy to know that you're there with him, and that you don't mind being so close to him. He has a lot of insecurities about himself and his worth, so you just being near him helps him feel like he's appreciated.

He also compliments you a ton. He was somewhat flirty with you before, but now, it's amped up 10x. He has no filter, if he thinks something about you is beautiful, whether in looks or personality, he's gonna tell you, no matter how out of the blue it seems. He loves the small blush that coats your cheeks whenever he says something nice about you, although instead of saying that outright, he'll tease you for your flustered state. Bonus points if you're naturally shy, because he has even more ammo and incentive to fluster you. It's almost like a game to him, except he really does enjoy making you feel good about yourself.

See, the tricky thing about Rain's behavior is it's both obvious, and yet not so obvious that he likes you. He's very touchy and flirty with you, but he also appears to be that way with everyone, so you can't tell if he's being genuine or just being friendly like he is with other people. He hasn't outright said he likes you romantically at this point, so you really have no way of knowing if his actions hold genuine intent behind them.

It takes awhile for Rain to realize that his feelings aren't being clearly conveyed to you, but once he does, he makes a greater effort to show you that you're the only person he has eyes for. He'll be less touchy with people that aren't you, although he doesn't cut it out of his personality completely. He stops flirting with random people altogether, and while he'll still complement his friends, he does in in a much less flirty manner than before. If anyone asks about his shift in behavior, he'll be honest and explain it's because he "wants to woe you with his wits and charm" (his words, not mine), although as you can tell, he remains playful about the whole thing.

As for interacting with you, Rain begins taking his time with you more seriously. His complements become much more personal, almost sappy, leaving you confused and flustered as to why he's being so sweet. On top of that, Rain's touches become less friend-like and more tender, as if there's hidden intentions beneath the surface. He also begins opening up to you a little bit, which is a massive, massive step for Rain. He has a lot of painful memories and repressed trauma that he hates to dig up, but he hopes that by opening up to you, he's both showing you that he trusts you, and hinting that it's ok for you to open up to him as well.

It's around this time that Rain gets a little nervous about being so open about his feelings. He loves you dearly, but he's very afraid that not only do you not feel the same, but that you'll be disgusted that he's flirting with you. As previously mentioned, he doesn't think as high of himself as he likes to act, and if you've never talked about sexuality before, he's equally afraid that you'll be grossed out by a man liking you. He still presses forward with his displays of affection, but the concerns sit in the back of his mind, never leaving.

There's one of two ways things progress from here. Either you pick up on the hints he's dropping and confront him about it, or he gets tired of tiptoeing around the subject and just flat out tells you. If you confront him, he won't deny it, spilling his feelings to you in the most genuine way he can. He wants you to understand that despite his unserious personality, he truly means every word of affection he speaks, and that he wants to be with you.

If he decides to confess, the moment plays out almost the same way. He doesn't really do anything special to confess, he'll save that kind of stuff for actual dates if you start going out, instead just sitting down with you and blurting out that he likes you. He does the same thing as he would do in the previous scenario, speaking his mind about you and how he feels, and then asks you if you would like to go out with him. He stares at you, swallowing down his nervousness as he waits for an answer.

He hopes you won't break his heart. He hopes you feel the same. But no matter what your answer is, he'll respect it, so he hopes you'll be honest with him.

Leo Myers

It usually takes Leo awhile to start liking someone romantically. Sure, he'll see people he doesn't know and thinks they're attractive, but it takes time for him to have a genuine, real feelings for a person. Oftentimes, the people he likes are people he's been friends with for awhile, so needless to say, you two were probably friends long before his attraction to you started. Even then, it takes him a little bit to figure out his feelings towards you are romantic and not platonic.

During this time, Leo's brain is kind of in a state of thinking, hey, I really enjoy this person's presence. They're also really attractive and the thought of dating them makes me feel all fuzzy...surly this is platonic, right? They're just a really good friend... right?

Wrong.

Once he finally figures it out, he doesn't really act all that different. Mostly because he doesn't want to let you know that he likes you, but also, he just doesn't think he needs to do anything more. He doesn't believe he would ever have a shot at being with you, so he doesn't really bother trying to hint anything or act any different. He doesn't see a point in it, I guess? He doesn't know how he's supposed to behave when he has a crush, so he just remains normal. He also just doesn't like expressing more vulnerable emotions in front of others, so to everyone, including you, he acts the exact same as normal.

Well... for the most part. There are a couple of little signals he gives off when he really likes someone, but it takes a lot of observation to catch them, to the point that even he's not aware he's doing it. If you aren't paying close enough attention to him at certain moments, you'll probably also miss the signs. For example...

Leo has an iffy relationship with physical touch. He hates when people he doesn't know touch him, even if the touch is slight. it makes his skin crawl. If you're someone he knows well, than he's more receptive to it, but even then, it's only by a little bit. Small touches like high fives, using his shoulders as a booster, playful punches or nudging, and the occasional hug are ok, but anything more like cuddling or any type of prolonged touch feel kinda suffocating to him. It's not that he dislikes the people touching him, there's just something about physical affection that gets to him.

But with you... he doesn't mind your touch, no matter what type or how long you're touching him. In fact, he craves your touch, which is odd for him. Truthfully, Leo is pretty touch starved, but he can't really do anything about it because touch from ordinary people makes him want to rub his skin off. He really only enjoys prolonged and intimate contact with a partner or someone he really likes, and lucky for you, you've fallen under that category. It's not obvious because you don't touch him all that much in general, but if you're observant enough, you'll notice that whenever you do touch him, he waits for you to pull way instead of doing so himself. He doesn't actively seek out your touch because he feels like that would be weird, but he won't pull away if you touch him first, unless he's overstimulated.

Another example: He makes more generous offers to you. Things like paying for your food, buying you a gift every now and then, offering to help you out with something your struggling with, stuff like that. He does it to everyone so you don't think anything of it, but he does it more so to you than to anyone else. You'd have no real way of knowing that though, unless you somehow tracked every offer he's made anyone ever.

The only time he ever intentionally, outwardly expresses how he feels towards you is when he's alone. he may act normal in front of you and whoever you're with, but the second he's alone, he's kicking his feet and smiling uncontrollably, flapping his hands up and down while thinking about you and everything you did together that day. Though eventually, he'll try to distract himself long enough for his emotions to die down, because it gets to be very overwhelming, and he's not great with overwhelming emotions.

There is a very slim chance he'll confess to you without outside intervention. Either you confess to him first, someone finds out and they snitch on him to you because they can't take it anymore, or his friends that know bully him into confessing, which he very, very reluctantly does. He's absolutely terrified of rejection, to the point of rather keeping his feelings to himself forever, but the threat of his friends snitching also freaks him out, spurring him into action.

If he had to confess, he'd probably write you a confession letter. He's too much of a coward to do it in person, and he feels like he would have screwed up the confession by stumbling over his words or panicking in the moment anyway, so a letter is really the best option, in his opinion. He still tries to put a ton of effort into it though, he doesn't want you to think he doesn't actually care. He's not the best with words, but he does his best, expressing himself in the most heartfelt way he can manage. He signs his name at the bottom, leaves the note somewhere you'll receive it, and walks away, extremely nervous to a ridiculous degree.

During the time period where he's waiting for you to find the letter, he is in full anxiety mode. Like, shaking, tearing up, genuinely on the verge of a panic attack. Everything is overstimulating him, the smallest of sounds, the slightest uncomfortable texture, everything. He's terrified of your reaction, or ruining your relationship, and even if you do like him back, would he be a good boyfriend? He's scared for a lot of different reasons, and the anxiety of not knowing whether you've read his letter isn't helping. He hides from everyone and anyone during this time, he will have a meltdown if he has to face people when he's this stressed.

Please respond to him soon, because he's gonna die of a heart attack if you don't. Even a text will do, he's too stressed to care. Just please... please reach out.

I hope you enjoyed!

[wejusthereforthefanart]

I’m Going To Defend A Headcanon

More specifically, a headcanon that literally no one has criticized or judged me for. To be honest, I just want to delve further into it. 

So, there was a post I made a while ago about the other riders getting to know the twins better by observing their quirks and such, and I included a personal HC where Tuffnut has ADHD while Ruffnut is on the autistic spectrum. I think it’s fitting that the two closest people in the whole franchise are both neurodivergent, but with different types. As someone who’s neurodivergent herself, it’s the greatest sense of irony. 

But while they both get easily distracted or hyper, Tuffnut seems to struggle more with paying attention and remembering things, especially plans. Ruffnut, on the other hand, tends to exhibit her emotions differently from the rest of the characters, even her twin. I found this GIF above to be a good example, where she’s happy Heather is here, but doesn’t register the tension in the air as she welcomes her back in a way that can be interpreted as threatening. Hand on the wall and face up close, like she may have difficulty with personal space. 

Tuffnut is probably the most physically expressive character, if not second to Snotlout (the drama king we all love). He literally communicates with his body as much as he talks with his mouth, his hands move constantly and he likes to pace a lot when he has an idea. Speaking of ideas, he shows an impulse to share his own before they’re fleshed out, which while it adds to the comedy, also gives us insight that he has a hard time thinking things through when he’s excited. 

And Ruffnut has sensory issues, you can’t convince me otherwise. She stims with her braids by tugging on them or stroking them, and she’s been shown to enjoy pain more than Tuffnut, which may elude to harmful stimming. And even though she’s claimed to be allergic to fish, I don’t really believe her. I think that because sensory issues weren’t ever commonly discussed or studied in the era of the movies, her reaction to the texture could’ve been summed up as just a food allergy. Because, come on, if Ruffnut was actually allergic to seafood like fish on an island whose main agricultural resource is fish, uhhhh she’d be dead. Coincidentally, she admitted to not liking the idea of chewing her own food when she was twelve. It has to be a texture issue. 

This post is nothing short of a mess, but I had to type out these thoughts somewhere. If there’s anything else I didn’t mention, I’m totally open to hearing others’ opinions on this. The twins are just super interesting to me, is all.

[arecaceae175]

Authenticity Ch. 21: Soup

For the request @sonaiyas had a LONG time ago! I hope you enjoy!

Summary: Wild has a rough day with sensory symmetry and food texture. Time helps with both.

Warnings: issues with food texture, choosing to be hungry, issues with sensory symmetry

After a long day of clearing monsters from the area, the chain was finally heading back to the inn. Wild was looking through his inventory and frowning in frustration. His food stores were running extremely low. They had been in Hyrule’s world for a few weeks, then they were dropped in the middle of the ocean in Wind’s. Wild had a lot of food, but feeding nine people for three weeks with very little replenishing used up almost everything.

Wild took stock of his body and his mind, and sighed. He didn’t have the energy to go foraging, and he definitely didn’t have the energy to go into the town and buy food. The thought of interacting with other people tonight made him want to cry. 

We need to find food supplies tomorrow, Wild rehearsed in his head as he waited for an opening to speak. The group was chatting amicably, so Wild waited until the conversation stopped before he spoke up.

“We need to find food supplies tomorrow,” Wild said. 

“I could use some potion stuff, too,” Hyrule added. 

Time nodded, then looked at Legend. “Will we be able to restock in town?”

“Yeah, this place is pretty good. We’ll be able to find everything,” Legend said. He paused, then smiled and looked up at Wild.

“Champion, do you think you could take a break from cooking for one night?” Legend asked. 

Wild frowned, and he felt frustration bubble in his chest. He didn’t have enough supplies, anyway, so he would have to sacrifice his routine for one night. Wild allowed himself a moment to take some deep breaths before responding. He also pulled out the cube Four made him and twisted it in his hand.

“I’ll have to, I’m all out,” Wild said, shaking the slate lightly before hooking it back on his belt. 

Legend’s smile grew. He winked at Wild then shifted to face the rest of the group. “There’s a place close by that sells the greatest soup in all of existence,” Legend said. 

Wild’s eyebrows scrunched in confusion. Surely that wasn’t sarcasm, meaning Legend didn’t actually like the food. Perhaps he meant he was exaggerating. That made more sense. Legend wouldn’t be able to eat all soups in existence, so he couldn’t know that fact for sure.

“I don’t know about that,” Twilight said, crossing his arms. “I’ve had some pretty good soup in my day.”

“My Grandma’s soup is the best!” Wind said, pumping his fists in the air.

“Nope, nothing beats pumpkin soup back in Skyloft,” Sky said.

“No, no, trust me. This soup will change your life,” Legend said, gesturing wildly. Sky was already shaking his head.

Wind jumped to his feet. “How about a friendly wager?” Wind suggested, shaking his rupee pouch.

“I could use some rupees,” Legend said as he crossed his arms.

“If your soup is better than my grandma’s, or if Sky thinks it's better than Skyloft’s, or Twi thinks it’s better than his, you win. If we think it’s lame, we win,” Wind said. Legend dramatically rolled his eyes.

“There’s no way I’m agreeing to that. You’ll lie to win,” Legend said. 

The argument went on as they crossed from the dirt path into the town. The ground was made from cobblestone. Wild vaguely remembered Four saying how much he liked the artistry of the stone, but Wild couldn’t share his appreciation. 

The stones were all different sizes and orientations. It took all his concentration to find ones with similar enough shapes for him to step on so his feet would be even. Wild could still hear the voices of the other heroes, but it sounded more like background noise. He had to focus too much on his feet, so he couldn’t pay attention enough to understand the words.

Wild stepped on a stone that was pointier than expected and had to step to the side to find one to even out the sensations. He cringed, and shook his hands to get the feeling away.

“You alright?” 

Wild flinched. The voice was closer than he expected. He looked up and saw Time looking at him. The others were far ahead. Time followed his gaze then turned back to Wild.

“Don’t worry about it,” Time said. “They’re heading to get the soup while we get rooms at the inn. They’re going to bring it back and we’ll eat in our rooms.”

Wild let the words process through his mind. He appreciated Time’s explanation greatly, and he appreciated that he wouldn’t have to go to a public place to eat a new food. New foods were always scary, despite how much Wild loved food. He was tired from the battle and upset from the wrong feeling of the stones, so eating in a more private place would make the experience easier. 

Wild nodded and looked down at his feet. He was standing on two nearly identical stones, one foot on each. He looked around to find any stones that were similar shapes, but didn’t see any. A frustrated noise left him.

“You know, I’m pretty good at piggy back rides,” Time said. Wild glanced up at him. 

“You are?” Wild asked. 

Time nodded. “Do you want a ride to the inn? It isn’t far.”

Wild’s gaze fell back to the stones. He didn’t want to inconvenience Time, but he also really didn’t want to walk on the stones. It was stressful to try to find even ones. Plus, Wild figured, Time offered. He wouldn’t offer if he didn’t mean it.

“You don’t mind?” Wild asked softly, just to be sure. 

“Not at all,” Time said. He knelt down with his back to Wild. “Hop on.”

~ ~ ~ ▲ ~ ~ ~

“Your dinner has arrived!” Legend proclaimed as Hyrule threw open the door for him and bowed. He walked into the room proudly, while Wind and Four hummed a theme Wild thought was supposed to represent royalty. 

Wild giggled. Time rolled his eyes, but it was with a smile, so Wild knew it was the fond eye roll; Twilight told him it meant Time thought they were being funny.

Legend and Sky passed out the bowls of soup as they all pulled their spoons out of their bags. 

“They agreed to let us take it here as long as we bring back the bowls tomorrow,” Warriors explained as he sat on the floor with his bowl.

Sky handed Wild his bowl with a smile. Wild didn’t have the energy to return it, and his eyes were focused on the soup. The soup base was a light brown color. There was grated cheese on top and vegetable pieces floating in the soup, including onions. 

Wild felt nervousness tighten in his chest. He loved the taste of onions, but he could only eat them if he prepared them. He knew how to cook them perfectly; other people usually made them too crunchy or, worse, too slimy. These onions were slimy. Wild could always tell with one look.

Wild felt his stomach growl as he looked at the food. His hand hovered above the bowl, holding the spoon just above the soup.

“Wow! Lege, this is amazing!” Sky said. 

“See? I told you,” Legend said. 

“As good as Skyloft’s?” Warriors asked. 

“Hmm. I’ll get back to you,” Sky said as he ate another large spoonful of the soup.

Everyone else agreed that the soup was good. Everyone. Legend was smiling so much, too. Everyone was laughing and joking and chatting happily as they ate their soup. Wild didn’t want to ruin their good mood. 

He pushed his spoon around in the soup for the rest of the meal. Before the bowls were taken up to be cleaned, he covered his with a cloth. 

“I didn’t finish,” Wild said. 

“No worries. You can save it for later,” Legend said, then moved on to collect the other bowls. 

Wild didn’t want to save it for later. He didn’t want to eat the soup. He wanted to eat his own food, that he made, with his own ingredients. He didn’t want to break his routine, and he didn’t want to eat the slimy soup.

Wild’s stomach growled. He put the bowl down on the room’s table with more force than was probably necessary. He grabbed his toiletry bag and rushed out of the room to the communal bath. 

After his nighttime routine, Wild returned to the rooms. He heard laughter and talking still coming out of the first room, so he sighed and moved to the second room. He was tired, and hungry, and didn’t have the energy to interact after such a long day. 

Wild pushed open the door to the second room, and he paused. There was an apple sitting on the bedside table with a note below it. Wild glanced around the room, looking for anything amiss or any signs of bananas, but there was nothing. Hesitantly, Wild stepped into the room and walked to the note. 

Don’t go to sleep hungry

-Link

Wild felt a happy feeling loosen the pressure in his chest. He picked up the apple and bit into it. It was just the right amount of crunchy and deliciously juicy. Wild wiggle and made a little happy noise as he sat on the bed to finish the apple. 

Tomorrow, he will get more supplies and be able to resume his cooking routine. But for now, an apple would do.

[autisticpride]

once you start paying attention, it's really obvious how inaccessible places are

a while ago, i saw a post about public restrooms. i don't remember the post, nor everything in it, but since then i've been paying attention.

i often use the accessible stall due to claustrophobia, sensory issues, and the likelihood that i'll knock my elbows into something in the regular stalls. so i should be seeing restrooms at their most accessible. some of these examples i'm remembering from the post, some i've realized myself while i'm paying attention.

most single restrooms have no coat/bag hooks. many stalls also have no coat/bag hooks, despite having holes where the screws of the hook that used to be there was.

no restrooms i've seen have had hooks anywhere near the toilet (for medical devices, so people don't have to put their expensive medical devices on the dirty floor)

none have had an emergency pull cord (to alert staff that someone in the restroom needs assistance)

none have had sharps containers (for diabetics etc. also, no talking shit about addicts in the notes, safe sharps disposal is important for everyone who uses needles, regardless of reasons)

none have had grab bars on both sides of the toilet (only one on the wall side)

very few (or possibly none, it's hard to be sure as this is not a problem for me) have had unscented soap (allergies, migraine triggers)

very few have had hand sanitizer (useful for various reasons, including but not limited to the fact that the sinks aren't accessible to wheelchair users either). (those that did were single restrooms in restaurants, and they also stored some cleaning products there, which i think is funny but probably isn't great.)

multiple restaurants have had restrooms down narrow halls that have also been used for storage, making it completely inaccessible to wheelchair users

that's not even getting started on doors. heavy and sticking doors are way more common than they should be.

i don't think i've ever seen a public restroom with all of these, or even close.

if you want to be an ally to disabled people, start by paying attention to the bathrooms. they tell you exactly how often disabled people are considered in public spaces (almost never more than the law requires, often less)

[phleb0tomist]

Hi, I'm the one who sent the ME related ask, thank you for answering it. I finally found a specialist who works with CFS and hopefully they can help me soon.

Is it okay to also ask about asd/autism diagnosis process? I'm also looking for an evaluation for that too. Obviously I don't want to strain you or anything, so take your time answering! And if you don't want to answer, that's also okay :)

Really appreciate you, genuinely

hello again! thats great, i hope they help and give you a clearer idea of what’s going on! (this is unsolicited advice but if you get options, i view pacing/energy envelope as the safest way to manage ME/CFS. some docs still push exercise-related treatment but a lot of people with ME end up with long-term damage from it, like myself.)

as for autism i was diagnosed as a kid so i don’t know all the details. my mom told our doc her concerns, there was a referral, then a series of appointments over a year. they talked to my family and teachers as well as me. the main topics were social difficulty, sensory issues, repetitive behaviours/movements/stims, and any highly specific trait that impacted my functioning or was unusual for my age (i was like 10). since autism is developmental, adult assessments ask a lot about baby milestones and your functioning as a child, so you may want to make some notes! a lot of autistic people had learning or behavioural issues at school, or learned to walk or talk late (or never), so let the doc know if that was you. i didn’t have delayed milestones but i had executive functioning issues from early on which didn’t match my age. i had a good vocabulary but i just didn’t understand most situations. i couldn’t recover from small mishaps and would have ‘tantrums’ for hours after the problem was resolved. i would scream, hide, climb stuff, run away, self injure etc. I had continual trouble with basic things like hygiene, food & drink, sleep, bathroom stuff, touch,conversations, and i needed every tiny situation explained to me in detail daily. i needed an adult close by my side when other kids could do stuff alone. this was all stuff the assessors found notable, so jot down if you had any similar issues.

evaluators may pay attention to the way you move, tone of voice, responsiveness, word choice and how much you talk, whether your speech is ‘stereotyped’ (aka made of social scripts or soundbytes from movies), eye contact, your clothes (e.g. if they’re consistent with the weather), how reciprocal and ‘appropriate’ your responses are to the topic, and if you keep bringing up ‘unrelated’ topics like a particular interest. adult/teen assessments are different from child assessments and I gather it can be a lengthy process to be diagnosed late, and it can take a lot of work to get a referral. my sibling was diagnosed as a teen and it was more complicated for them. all i can say is do not minimise, and try to use concrete examples of things you’re unable to do or times where your life has been significantly impacted by processing or sensory issues, social struggles, repetitiveness/rigidness - whichever traits apply to you.

if anyone else wants to comment their experiences of teen or adult autism assessment, please do!

[marsiplant]

dirty boots, meet corporate ladder

past 50 floors of offices to streets pleasantly free of cars

midtown's not that busy on a saturday.

i'm introduced to a college sophomore who's already had 3 internships.

i learn she's double majoring in sociology and marketing

as she flashes me a syrupy smile more artificial than the lemonade.

she knows the rules of this game better than i do

tripping and stumbling over my own words.

why am i talking to her?

just for the sake of networking without connection?

i don't remember her name.

all i can think is i don't belong here

in stuffy glass houses with lawyers and marketing directors in pantsuits

who will tell them to give 120% because they need to hustle harder than the white kids with built-in connections and generational wealth

because that is what they need to hear sometimes.

because it's true.

i know it's true because i lived it.

just a slightly different version.

i hold my tongue when my colleague parrots the grindset

because i know the color of my skin will always give me a leg up.

but they also had access to things that i didn't even know existed

like these mentorship programs

and a community that accepts them

knowing they're not alone.

i think of paulo freire and the opposition to having his work read in a corporate environment

because it will encourage us to pay more attention to act with more solidarity, intersectionality, cooperation

when capitalism keeps us divided and pitted against each other in individualistic competition.

"when the deck is stacked against you, you have to make yourself stand out. go above and beyond to get your resume noticed for the content instead of having it put into the reject pile because of your name. that is how you win."

they will have to play this game and learn the rules until they have enough breathing room to afford bending and breaking them.

this is how it has always been.

does that mean that's how it has to be?

have we been tricked, conditioned to forget there are alternatives?

these glass walls are closing in and i don't know the right things to do or wear or say

i try to fake it until i make it

but i am reminded that my definition of "making it" is different because the standard doesn't include or consider people like me. there isn't a section in the store for "person with sensory issues and dysphoria aggravated by most professional clothing who doesn't have a desire to look professional in the first place because professionalism is rooted in classism, ableism, cisnormativity and white supremacy."

when expectations of how to look and behave are enforced through systems of hierarchy and oppression

no, i wasn't raised right, not by this definition.

maybe a different definition

one that values radical authenticity, curiosity, sensitivity

would be a more comfortable fit.

i am reminded that even when i try to fit in

to play by all the rules

there is always something that will cause people to say i "do things differently"

i am so used to taking it as criticism a warning that i do not belong that i will not be safe with the herd.

i learn from nature documentaries this will lead to exclusion and death.

i learn from the few remaining queer elders that silence also equals death

and we must be honest and loud if we want things to change.

trying and failing to do both is a silent killer

whispering that i will never be good enough

preying on my insecurities

until i have isolated myself enough for it to pounce.

i am torn and ripping apart at the seams.

i tune out of the small talk about private schools and luxury car payments.

this is not my world, and i don't want it to be.

but i know i am at the edge

a critical juncture

toeing the line.

i can't lose touch with where i came from

because then the voices of those still there aren't heard at all.

i would rather stare out at the city from this new vantage point

i have never been this high up before and i want to take full advantage of it.

they flock to me after the panels

my computer science ducklings hanging on to my every word.

they are also awkward and nervous and in search of answers

without knowing all the right questions to ask.

i tell them that yes, they can double major in computer science and creative writing or fine art or urban studies

and we want them and we need them in this new future we are building.

because the white and uncaring and unimaginative tech bros have locked the gate behind them once they got theirs

and they are no longer interested in disruption

because you will have better ideas than lazy new apps to shift old money around

because we are trying to break that mold.

i see hope for a better world in their eyes.

i remember all their names.

i did whatever it took to climb up to this point

pulling myself up by broken straps on mud-caked secondhand boots that never fit quite right.

now that i am here,

i am realizing that there is so much i missed out on.

we get used to the reality that surrounds us

and it was difficult to imagine a different way of being before i had access.

i know it's just as difficult for people who have always had this vantage point to imagine a better reality

one that uplifts everyone

one that does not pull up the ladder behind them. this version has kept them comfortable, after all.

when your identity is used as ammunition and ricochets around school board meetings

the personal is made political but somehow you must still remain professional.

when the bullet strikes true

these chambers rupture and spill over into each other.

my brain and heart and soul are not designed to compartmentalize.

i am messy and fluid and cannot be contained or confined

and my insides muddle together and burst out.

of course this was bound to happen.

of course my guts would be strewn across the road

on view for all who drive past.

i can't clock in and out of who i am or empathy and passion.

we don't even clock in and out anyway

and i am reminded when i call my dad after his shift at the chocolate factory

how much of a privilege this is.

sometimes he is working overtime

and the line keeps ringing from within his lunchbox

because he can't carry his phone on the factory floor.

sometimes he's out on a moonlighting job

fixing up someone's barn's electric in exchange for venison

or felling a tree on my brother's property

or volunteering at the women's shelter

or out in the garden digging up root vegetables until after the sun sets and his fingers are freezing.

whether or not he picks up,

i am reminded that there is always more i could, should be doing

especially now that i am here.

how can i best leverage this new position?

what's next?

what can i do more of?

what can be improved?

how can i climb higher?

i have spent so long being asked these questions

that they took the reins of my inner monologue and squashed any opportunity to settle for "good enough."

spurned onwards and upwards in perpetual motion

because i am afraid that if i slow down

maybe it's time to clear out the cobwebs,

make room for matters of living

rather than surviving and striving.

what do i need from you?

what do i want?

what if i can't trust myself to know the answers to your questions?

what if my answers are wrong?

what if what i think i want

is not what i need in the long term?

but if i don't give you an answer

(and even if i do)

how can i trust that you'll know where to go from there

that you'll act with integrity and compassion?

how can i know what your intentions are

when after a few drinks

you brush your shoulder against mine

and you say you will follow my lead

but i don't know where i want to go?

how can i trust that you are not a wolf in sheep's clothing

that you will not be like the others?

i want the chance to be reckless and bold and honest as i work through these things

and learn how to be a human being.

isn't that the point of being young and alive?

these things are new to me

please be patient

but not too patient

because i am trying not to take for granted

that there will always be time for these things later.

because i know by now that there hardly ever is.

i need to devise my own path forward

but i'm stuck in -

mired in the rumination of ambiguities

and it's hard to pull myself out

to the solid ground of clarity.

vision unfocusing

lines blurring

left to bleed out alone.

nobody is coming to save me.

i must learn how to save myself.

that is how i survive.

this is how it has always been.

i knew i couldn't last long within current structures and paradigms

as they are, as expected, maintaining the status quo.

but when we give ourselves and each other permission

to expand definitions and parameters

creating new ways of being, doing, relating

maybe, just maybe

there can be a place for me here.

i want to believe there is room for mistakes and missteps and oversteps

because i know they will happen.

help me correct course when necessary.

you may need to be explicit

because subtlety is not my strong suit.

i don't want to leave

because you're as good as they come

(at least as far as i can tell).

[princesscolumbia]

Important message for Alphas: Remember that depression is no one's fault, not even yours. Your instinct will be to dive in and Do All The Things™️ for your omega, but remember that they are in an emotionally compromised state. They will pick up on your anxiety over their depression and this will make the depression worse.

Think of the depressed omega as an immunocompromised ICU patient. Exposure to more of what made them "sick" to begin with will only make things worse. As with any "disease," sometimes all you can do is treat the symptoms and let the person's own defenses heal themselves.

The treatment protocol should be as follows:

You being your best self - Remember to manage that scent! Your omega may be experiencing stimulation/sensitivity issues with their depression, so regular bathing and clean clothes to keep your scent from being overwhelming will be a MUST. (You are using unscented cleaners for your body and your space, right?) Also remember that when an omega is feeling compromised they're also feeling threatened, so trying to 'confront' the problem like you'd confront an external threat will only stress your omega out more, which will make the problem worse. You need to be the loving, nurturing Alpha, NOT the dominant territorial Alpha. Manage your routine and stick to it! The more stability outside the omega's bubble of depression, the safer they'll feel about possibly leaving it.

Managing the space - Unless you're one of those Alphas that marks and polices their territory by cleaning and organizing (like me!) your omega is likely the one who manages the space as an extension of their nest. Unless you have been given specific instruction on how your omega likes their space cleaned and organized, stick to the absolute basics (dusting, sweeping, touch-up vacuuming, straightening stacks, and taking out the trash). Do NOT try to handle any of the major tasks yourself that you haven't been specifically taught how to do, your omega will perceive that as "being a burden" (it's not, you know it's not, when they're not depressed they know it's not, but for right now it's how they'll see it) and get more depressed, which will just frustrate you, which they'll pick up from your scent, which will make them more depressed, etc. The one exception to this would be the bathroom; NOBODY wants to be forced to use a dirty bathroom, depression or no. Make that bathroom the cleanest room in the house, replace the linens...wash the danged shower curtain if you feel so compelled.

Treating the Symptoms - This is where you get to actually DO something! It's also going to be a test of how much you pay attention to your omega when you're not in your rut.

Feed your omega - I don't care what the other Alphas tell you, sometimes it's up to you to coddle your omega! This means making and serving them THEIR comfort foods. If you aren't comfortable in the kitchen, time to get comfortable! (And if it's your omega's space, respect it! The last thing they need during their recovery from depression is to find their Alpha has completely obliterated their kitchen!) Make them the foods that they love the most and make sure they eat it. More "nurturing" Alpha behavior here, you can't conquer their hunger, you can only love them enough to make sure they feel safe and cared for enough to eat.

Mute their stimuli - You can't deescalate their emotions, but you can close curtains, turn off lights, shut off noises, etc. Wear a hoodie for a bit and then get them to wear it with the hood up, this will block out some sight and muffle some sound (not a lot, obviously) as well as regulate the scents coming into their sensorium. Consistency is key here, nothing too loud, nothing too soft, introduce a solid, familiar sensory foundation to what you can't eliminate entirely.

Bring in other omegas - Listen, I know you want to be all that and a bag of chips for your omega, but the simple fact is they need the love and support of other omegas. Maybe there's a family member they love and trust, maybe they have a friend group, maybe you spend the day out with your Alpha friends who are mated while they send their mates over for a big ol' omega cuddle puddle. However it gets to look like, make sure your omega never feels alone by letting other omegas into your territory to comfort your omega. They can provide support that you cannot except to make room for the other omegas to be there. (I don't care if the other omegas have another Alpha's scent on them, this isn't about you! Tough it up, buttercup, are you an "alpha" or an Alpha?)

Make sure your omega SLEEPS - This can be hard, because your omega will likely keep trying to climb out of bed to do things, suffer from severe depression-induced executive dysfunction, then climb into bed more depressed than before. This is where you climb into their nest, curl around them, and basically act like a weighted blanket. Consistency is critical here, you're climbing into the nest at the same time every night and getting out of it at the same time every morning. You're there to be a reminder that they are precisely where they need to be. This is the one time and place a little guilt-tripping is actually a bit of a good thing. If they try to climb out of your arms after you've cuddled up to them, play up how sad you'll be if they actually leave the nest for anything but using the bathroom. For most omegas this is pretty much their kryptonite and they'll settle right back into the nest.

Time is not your friend - This will take time. Unlike when you're dealing with another Alpha trying to grab some territory or one of your professional conquests, this won't just be handled with a decisive strike at the right place and time. Be ready to hunker down and stick with it for the long haul.

Get help - Last, but ABSOLUTELY not least, get some professional mental help. Depression is NOT just "a case of the sads," depression is a serious condition that can be treated. Sometimes the best thing you can do as an Alpha is to get your omega in contact with a depression specialist and let them do the work.

Visible symptom of depression in Omegas: nest is a fucking mess they have no energy to clean or organize at all. The mess is distressing them further but it makes them just want to stay in the nest more because it's still a comforting and safe place. Which doesn't really help with the mess at all.

[queenoftheyetis]

Stupid ass Splatoon idol headcanons that I think are funny.

Squid Sisters

•They live in separate houses, but Callie will walk all the way over to Marie's place, just to turn her lights off and leave all her doors open. Marie, in return, hacked into all of Callie's streaming services and music platforms to leech off of her and fuck with her playlists.

• Marie is surprisingly good at cooking, so long as she's following a recipe. She thinks of it like chemistry and can follow directions to a T. Callie on the other hand has blown up multiple microwaves. She forgot to put water in her instant ramen, on four completely separate occasions.

• If the two are bickering, they quickly turn into the most immature children ever. I'm talking "yo mama" jokes, the most school ground insults you can imagine, the "I'm not touching you!" Bit, the whole 9 yards. They also fight like kittens. Just eyes closed and flailing arms hoping to hit eachother.

Off the Hook

• Pearl can't flirt. Pearl cannot flirt to save her life. But neither can Marina. Pearl can say the weirdest shit, (ie "Your face is the gold dynamo roller of dips") and Marina is like "omg babe you're so sweet 🥰🥰" Pearl knows she can't flirt though, so she usually compensates by buying gifts instead.

• When Marina is stressed, she will dismantle every single piece of electrical equipment in a ten foot radius, and then put it back together. Her blender has been taken apart and upgraded at least twelve times. Pearl will come home and all of her gaming systems are gutted on the floor while Marina somehow makes the graphic chip better.

• The two's wildly different sensory issues, specifically surrounding food, lead to some... Interesting and expensive grocery trips. The two practically have their own pantries for their separate foods. Despite their bickering during the Splatfest announcements, they respect eachothers tastes and preferences. Marina often makes pancakes for Pearl.

Deep Cut

• The three use a series of whistles and clicks to communicate with each other while looting. It's practically a language at this point, and it gets so stupidly complicated that there's no way anyone else could understand them. At their day job, they use these clicks to make fun and of people and gossip without others knowing.

• There is not an ounce of common sense amongst these three morons. Shiver claims to be the brains of the operation, and then they'll turn around and walk straight into a wall. These three will make the dumbest decisions, not pay attention to their scripts, and forget to do their taxes 85% of the time.

• They are a nightmare blunt rotation. Like the worst you can think of. Big Man gets super paranoid and clingy to everyone near him, Frye will eat everything in the house (including sauces and things that should not be eaten on their own), and Shiver just spouts the most elaborate bullshit ideas. The reason Master Mega has a jetpack is because Shiver thought it was a killer fuckin idea while high.

[aggressive-positivity-network]

Do you have any autistic Scout headcanons? :P

Hell yeah!

I’ve actually thought about this a lot. A lot of people might think that Scout has ADHD, but I think he either has both ADHD and autism or just autism.

This is both because labeling Scout as having just ADHD is kind of a low-hanging fruit, and I also want to explore his symptoms a little more. So, in a word, I do, and thank you for asking about them!

*****************

Scout’s Spectrum:

So, where exactly does Scout fall on the autism spectrum?

First of all, he probably has both ADHD and autism, but wasn’t diagnosed with the latter until much later. This means that some of his symptoms were taken into account, but not all.

The ones that were paid attention to ramped up out of control, and the ones he didn’t hear about were stuffed away.

His ADHD symptoms include impulsiveness, need for stimulation, hyperfixations, forgetfulness, and insomnia; his autism symptoms include trouble with social skills, stimming, near inability to remember names and faces, lack of eye contact, hyperfixations again, and sensory processing issues, especially with noise and touch.

He used to have a lot of meltdowns when he was younger, usually about wearing new clothes and the amount of noise his eight brothers generated.

However, he was teased and pushed into masking nearly all the time, and made his whole personality about his ADHD, since that was what everyone accepted.

As he got older, he usually wrote off any autistic tendencies as either his ADHD or just “little habits” of his.

During his middle school years, he used energy drinks to bounce back from being exhausted every day after school. This would work, except those energy drinks would upset his ADHD, and would make it much harder to focus on even basic conversation.

After a while, he got such bad grades and had such a hard time making friends that Scout just stopped going to school altogether.

Baseball helped his focus, and the quick movement and thinking made a lot of sense to him. He never had to wait very long for the next development, and the instant gratification and community it provided supplemented what he never got at school.

With sports on his side, he rarely ever drank any energy drinks (the coach would never let them on the field), and he drank bucketfuls of water during every meet and game. Those teenage years were probably the healthiest he ever was.

However, with the amount of rumbles he got into with his brothers, and the turf wars that constantly raged in those neighborhoods, it was only a matter of time before his crime caught up with him.

After his first incarceration, he was booted from the team, which led to a downward spiral of unhealthy coping mechanisms - which included fighting someone tooth and nail whenever he could.

Even if he lost the fight, it not only catered to his impulsive nature and impatience, but also gave him roughly the same sense of friendship and camaraderie that baseball had.

One thing led to another, and by the time Mann Co. found him, Scout was a monster in hand to hand (and bat to bat) and had racked up quite the criminal record.

A perfect mercenary, ripe for the picking.

On The Team:

Scout very quickly adopted the “stupid, scrappy Boston boy” persona.

It was the only thing that made sense, and it kept him from having to try too hard in both the battlefield and socially.

Besides, that meant that he could be as silly, forgetful, and fidgety as he wanted, and no one would bat an eye.

And if he ever needed to take a break from the team, he figured everyone would appreciate the quiet.

The only thing that ever gave him away was him occasionally dissociating right when battle began, especially if the day had been stressful.

It was usually how he calmed down after a fight when he was young, but now he sometimes slid into that state when he was overwhelmed.

However, a yell from one of his teammates would usually snap him out of it.

Medic noticed this pretty early on, and wanted to look more into it, but Scout would keep making excuses not to get a mental examination.

He would blame it on zoning out, being tired, drinking too many Bonks - whatever it took for people to stop asking.

And, eventually, they did.

Even Medic stopped asking after a while - he couldn’t get a thing out of Scout.

This “try so little that when you do try it’s above average” charade worked for a long time. In fact, it went on for so long that Scout forgot how much he was actually capable of.

He began to internalize the stupidity, the exacerbation, the many comments on how dumb he was, everything.

The only time he ever gave his all was on the battlefield - moving fast, memorizing strategies, doing complicated footwork, knowing exactly how much force it took to crush someone’s skull with his bat.

That was one of the only things that he felt good doing, the only thing he could really work on without him being “found out.”

That and drawing, though he never showed the actual pieces to anyone. It was all stick figures and crooked lines with everyone else.

Sometimes, though, Scout wouldn’t be paying attention and he’d let something slip.

One time, Engineer was looking for his screwdriver, and couldn’t seem to find it anywhere.

Scout, not looking up from his comic, said, “Under the couch cushion, hard hat.”

Engineer bent down and reached into the couch, and his hand came back with his red and yellow striped screwdriver.

“Well I’ll be damned…”

At first Engineer thought Scout had just hid it, but Scout explained, still not paying attention:

“Last time we went out on th’ field, you had it on your belt, like always. But I was walkin’ by your workshop, you were usin’ a quarter to tighten a screw or somethin’. Your screwdriver had to be somewhere between the battlefield and your workshop. Engie, you’re like freakin’ clockwork. Every day, after a fight, you go to the kitchen, get a water, go to that couch, between the second and third cushion from the left, and sit there. Then ya go back to the fridge to get lunch and a beer, and ya go to your workshop until somebody needs you for somethin’. Your back loop in your tool belt is looser than all the others, ‘cause the screwdriver pulls against it when you sit down. The shank was probably in between the two cushions, and when you got up, it fell in. Demo, Pyro, and Heavy all sit on the second or third cushion at some point, so it got shimmied down. And since that’s the only time you sat down, ‘cause you woulda heard it if it dropped on the floor, and I…uh…”

“I’ll be damned,” Engie repeated, and felt the back tool belt loop. It was indeed loose.

Scout finally looked up, and realized what had happened.

“Uh, uh - l-lucky guess, huh Engie?”

Engineer squinted behind his goggles. “Yeah…real lucky…”

What ensued was Engie trying to get Scout to turn into a B.L.U Spy by chasing him around with his wrench. After a few good hits, though, Engineer saw that it was the teammate he knew and loved.

“But…how didja…?”

Scout threw his hand up, the other rubbing the back of his head where he’d been hit.

“I toldja Engie! Lucky guess! Jesus!”

Ever since then, Scout chose his words more carefully.

The Breakdown:

But, unfortunately, Scout could not pretend forever.

There was one week where Scout’s assignment count was so high that, if he wasn’t in a fight, he was on a mission.

Usually, Pauling wouldn’t trust him with so much, but no one else was available - or willing - to do the jobs.

Even when she was getting concerned about the amount of hours Scout was putting in, he blew it off.

“It’s no sweat, Miss Pauling! Their practically givin’ me the pay day. Those yahoos don’t know who they’re messin’ with.”

Over time, though, Scout had a harder and harder time staying focused and alert.

He’d sleep through alarms, stare off into space, zone out completely during briefing (not that he didn’t already do that), have a hard time hearing people in battle - even through his headset - ignore Spy’s taunts, and even forget to bring his bat onto the field.

Nothing seemed to help - Bonk!, warming up, stretching, cold showers, setting reminders, nothing.

And the team was starting to notice.

At first it was with the regular frustration - maybe Scout was just being lazy.

But as time went on, and his condition grew worse, their scorn turned into worry. They implored Medic to do something, but he had no way of getting through to Scout.

The doctor wasn’t above simply sedating him and dragging him into his lab for a check-up. However, he had a feeling that this was more than a physical issue.

The worst came when Scout was doing a routine battle with the B.L.U team on the field.

Everything had started out okay - he even remembered to bring his bad this time - but suddenly, everything was ear-splittingly loud.

He couldn’t focus on more than one sound at once, much less communicate the best course of action to his teammates.

He ended up hiding in a dilapidated shed, in a dusty, dark corner, somewhere between zoning out and panicking.

Scout’s head was in his knees, he was shaking, close to crying, when a sudden splitting of wood roused him.

A B.L.U Soldier had kicked his way into the shed, either having heard Scout or to hide from the other team.

Scout was stunned at first, but something of a blind terror filled him. He picked up his bat, screamed, and started pummeling the surprised Soldier.

At some point, he threw aside his bat and began to swing punch after punch, just like he did in his gang days when he had felt overwhelmed. Still screaming. Still crying.

By the time Scout had dissolved into a rocking, sobbing mess, the Soldier was long dead, with a gigantic pool of blood staining Scout’s shoes.

No one even knew where Scout was until a few hours later, when Spy heard a faint note of “Sexbomb” coming from Scout’s Walkman.

Scout had crawled into the shed’s framework, between the outer and inner wall, and was playing a specific verse over and over and over again, looking like he was on another plane of existence.

Spy immediately called for Medic, who had to lift Scout out by the underarms through a jagged hole in the side of the building. By then, the fight was over, so they could take him directly to the lab.

Medic’s Evaluation:

“I’m guessing zhis is your first mental breakdown?”

“Mental…doc, I ain’t crazy. Wait, you’re not goin’ to put me in a straight jacket, are ya?”

“If you’re not doing anyzhing later.”

Medic started to laugh, but quickly realized this might not be the time.

“No, Scout, everyvun has a mental breakdown at least vunce in their lives. It’s a…how do you say…a vake-up call of sorts. Vhen your body has no other options left.”

“Whaddya mean?”

“For zhe past few months, you health, both physical and mental, has been deteriorating. You eat less. You talk less. Your attacks are lackluster. You have bags under your eyes. You flinch vhen somevun yells for you. You stare off into space. Your routine, vhich usually has at least some changes, has become stringent, as if you can’t possibly expend any more energy into extra activities. You have avoided Demoman on zhe battlefield, even though you usually use him for cover.”

Medic flipped through his notes.

“I have pages and pages of your decline. However, as a scientist, I believe it is caused by zhe same source. And, though I usually respect my patient’s right to privacy vhen it comes to these sorts of matters, I believe you’ve been keeping something from me. Something that I should know as your general practitioner…your doctor.”

Scout shrugged, already shutting out the conversation.

Medic sighed.

“Maybe I tried to talk to you about zhis too soon. After all, you’ve just had a very sudden and exhausting episode. But…perhaps…”

Medic took a sheet of printer paper from his clipboard and a spare pen from his pocket.

“…zhere is an alternative.”

Scout was still unresponsive, but Medic continued.

“Zhere is a patient in my vaiting room vis a metal pole through the chest. It vill take me at least an hour to properly remove it, and a few minutes more to heal zhe area. Vhile I do zhat, vhy don’t you draw how you feel?”

Medic smiled.

“I know how much it grounds you.”

It wasn’t until Medic left that Scout actually picked up the pen, but he began drawing immediately.

For the first time in a while, he wasn’t trying to hide his strokes or scratch up the cleaner lines. No more stick figures. No more pretending.

Five minutes later, he was fully engrossed.

Medic started to walk in at one point, but, seeing how relaxed Scout was, decided to give him a few more minutes.

He deserved it.

[hannigramficrecs]

Newly Added Fics 5/16

Hello everyone, sorry again for the slight hiatus! I’ve replied to all the messages in my inbox (at least the ones that were sent to me before this past friday), so if you asked me something before that, be sure to check out my replies!

As usual, I’ve emboldened the fics I really liked and italicized the ones that are incomplete.

Looks Like Love by luvkurai [words: 5,987] — (AU)

After his sister's wedding, Will kisses his childhood housekeeper (and first love).

Betrothed by slashyrogue [words: 3,932] — (AU)

In one month he would marry a total stranger.

Titan Arum by ProxyOne [words: 64,614] — (AU)

Will is a botanist, working in the greenhouse of the local Botanical Gardens. He is getting his life back on track after his divorce, but he can't help but notice someone who keeps coming back to his greenhouse to draw, day after day. A man who seems to have been paying very close attention to him...

Find Me In The Dark by Rising_Phoenix [words: 40,131] — (AU)

After a fateful accident, the marriage of Will Graham and Hannibal Lecter has reached its end. Grief and the inability to stop them from falling apart has brought an irreconcilable distance between the formerly deeply devoted couple. While Hannibal is apathetic towards his husband, ignores him, and is withdrawn, Will has started an affair with fellow teacher Francis and drowns his desperation in more and more alcohol. 

Light of All Lights by whiskeyandspite [words: 20,377] — (AU)

Dracula-like fic without any of the vampires

The Stage Just For You by CarnivalMirai [words: 6,494] — (AU + Age Gap)

Will has landed himself the role of Odette for world-famous choreographer Hannibal Lecter's rendition of The Swan Lake.

There Will Be Bells by Entropyrose [words: 36,639] — (A/B/O)

In Georgian England, male omegas are very rare diamonds. Baron and Baroness Graham have a plan to build their wealth and social status by offering their son Will's hand in marriage to a mysterious older Duke, an Alpha named Lord Hannibal Lecter. Will's personal feelings need not apply.

Alpha Mart by slashyrogue [words: 63,164] — (A/B/O)

Will needs an alpha. After years of fake knots, half-assed suppressants, and his own damn hand during heats he’s reached the end of his rope. He doesn’t do dating so he decides to waste his life savings and hype with the current trend. Alpha Mart.

Enchanted By Your Name by CarnivalMirai [words: 9,207] — (A/B/O + PWP)

“Now, my husband would prefer it if I got the job done quickly.” He says, slashing down the back of each gag as he passes each man, watching as the silk falls gracefully to the floor. “However, I want to have some fun. Considering you’ve troubled my husband so much… it’s only fair, right?” One of the men whimpered fearfully. Or: The name "Will Graham" is a name you'll only ever hear once.

I've Been Building Black Ships by cloudsarefluffy [words: 8,116] — (A/B/O + AU)

Alpha Hannibal moves to the States with his sister Mischa after being overtly done with the fancy life of a count, and his blind omega neighbor gives him an insight into love that he never quite expected.

A Rare Find by hit_the_books [words: 5,379] — (A/B/O + AU)

Life as an omega bookseller can be quite lonely. However, as the owner of Graham’s Books, Will Graham is reasonably content. That is until he meets—long-time customer and crush—Doctor Hannibal Lecter in person for the first time. Attraction blossoming between them both, Will agrees to a dinner date with the good doctor.

We All Have a Hunger by 1ntothew1ld [words: 12,260] — (A/B/O + Age Gap)

Hannibal will ensure a properly slow and painful death for an alpha who allowed a beautiful young omega to go to waste as this one has. Too skinny for his own good, a stuttering and humble mess. The likes of the omega in front of him belonged at Opera houses and in million-dollar mansions, not scrounging for his next meal. Meek and afraid in some disheveled row house. When he finally looked back up the alpha had to conceal the utter punch to the stomach that meager glance was, blue eyes full of innocence but also hunger.

The Doctor Is In by Kummerspeck7 — (A/B/O + PWP)

Will nearly scoffed. "You can't expect me to believe you'd want anything other than a delicate flower to adorn your side, keep your ostentatious home, bare you the exact number of children you want--No more, no less-- all while being available at your whims." "Not at all." Hannibal disagreed. "I would no more put a wilting flower in my home than in a bouquet given as a gift. Tell me, Will, is that how you are treated? Forbidden from work, cloistered inside and used at Mr Brown's discretion?" "My Alpha's discretion." Hannibal looked pointedly at the curve of Will's neck, free from a single scar. "Not yet he isn't."

Teenage Wildlife by writtenbyizzy [words: 10,163] — (Age Gap + Sugar Daddy)

While reluctantly prowling Grindr for a sugar daddy to pay for his dog Bean's vet bills Will comes across Hannibal, and gets far more than he bargained for.

Just As Poised As I Remember by CarnivalMirai [words: 5,721] — (Age Gap + School)

When Will was in high school he had an incredibly handsome psychology teacher-- tall and sharp with a thick European accent. And now, a decade later, said psychology teacher-turned psychiatrist... just swiped right on him.

We Can Chase the Dark Together by K_R_Closson [words: 16,615] — (Fantasy)

Will tips him and Hannibal off the cliff. Instead of hitting the water, he wakes up in his bed, several years in the past. His first, and only, priority is to find Hannibal again.

We Killed a Dragon Last Night by inameitlater [words: 88,150] — (Fantasy)

Will remembers falling. He wakes up months before Jack got him to work for him. Months before he met Hannibal for the first time. Free from his past he decides to change events and meet Hannibal again.

My Only Constant Is You by TheSilverQueen [words: 25,369] — (Fantasy)

Hannibal Lecter is an immortal who can never die. Will Graham is a time traveler who can never stay in one place. Perhaps that is why they are perfect for each other.

Motinos Kalba by Lyla_Joy [words: 6,040] — (Fluff)

Five times Hannibal Lecter spoke Lithuanian on accident and one time he meant too.

You Make Me Feel (Good) by sourweather [words: 7,190] — (Fluff)

Will Graham has sensory issues. The world gets too loud, he gets overstimulated easily, but most of all he hates being touched. He never expected someone to work so hard to make him comfortable, to be so patient with him.

Pick Me Up by sourweather [words: 6,053] — (Fluff)

Will doesn't go to bars much. He doesn't end up needing a ride home much. But when he does get drunk, he always wants to ask Hannibal to pick him up.

Hard to Get by JSinister32 [words: 5,561] — (Jealousy)

Will and Hannibal had been broken up for six months. When confessions are made during a work function, can they find it within themselves to forgive?

Polar Opposites by Lyla_Joy [words: 19,513] — (Kidnapping)

“Says the cannibalistic serial killer who knocked me out and is now holding me hostage,” sassed Will. The Ripper didn’t smile but his eyes crinkled in the corner. “Please call me Hannibal.”

Fate Is A Keen-Eyed Hound by LydiaFearing [words: 5,890] — (Mischa)

Hannibal may be a successful, charming psychiatrist but Mischa worries that her brother is lonely so she gifts him a puppy. Hannibal reluctantly falls for his little dog but wants to get involved with time-consuming FBI work and not just anyone can be allowed to look after his pet. Luckily, Alana can recommend a boarding kennel in Wolf Trap.

The Significant Other: The Will and Hannibal Edition by house_of_lantis [words: 18,431] — (Murder Husbands)

After their terrible and abrupt break up, Will and Hannibal attempt to maneuver through their social circles, side step ongoing gossip, and deal with the fact that Will knows the truth of Hannibal. Through impossible odds, Will and Hannibal do find their way to each other again.

Dancing with the Beast by proser [words: 86,347] — (Murder Husbands)

In order to catch a mediocre serial killer, Will must pose as Hannibal's date for a series of pretentious social events. Hannibal is dramatic and jealous as ever, and Will is having a great time without the encephalitis. Of course, it's a love story.

Arriving at the Crossroads by HigherMagic [words: 7,558] — (Mpreg)

"You haven't been my psychiatrist for a long time," Will echoes. "But you've been my friend. You've helped me. With…" He gestures vaguely to his head. "When my brain was on fire. On consults. When it's dark and I need a guiding light." "It pleases me very greatly to be a source of comfort and reassurance for you, Will," Hannibal says. "I have wanted to be that for you, for a long time."

The Hanged Man by justhavesex [words: 13,076] — (Mpreg)

Will Graham had never wanted children before, but he had never considered it to be a consequence of his omegan brain not finding anyone worthy, but the moment he had met Hannibal Lecter he had been filled with want. In which a dinner party one-night stand results in a pregnancy that changes Will's entire life.

I Don't Even Like Lana Del Rey by perpetuallycaffeinated [words: 4,328] — (PWP)

The tension and low thrum of arousal were making Will speak impulsively. He knew this, but he’d just finished his drink. There was nothing he could use to stop the question, blunt and presumptuous and rude. “So, what, you’re my daddy?”

A Bad Combination In The Dark by perpetuallycaffeinated [words: 1,957] — (PWP)

When a nerve wracked Will Graham accidentally cuts his hand on Dr. Lecter's letter opener, things quickly get out of control.

The Best Bait by sourweather [words: 3,327] — (PWP)

Will is a good fisherman, he knows which bait to use for his catch. Will seduces Hannibal at a party by being sexy.

Whimsy by justheretoreadhannibalfics [words: 3,001] — (School)

Doctor Hannibal Lecter is standing in as a teacher while Professor Graham is out of town on a case. The students start to kind of like him, and become very invested in his love life.

Callipygian by ProxyOne [words: 2,260] — (Season 1)

Hannibal has a lot of sketches of Will, which he normally keeps safely away. One day though, Will shows up unexpectedly and Hannibal is caught unawares, and unprepared.

L'appel Du Vide by sourweather [words: 5,413] — (Season 1)

Will is hiding things from his coworkers. From himself. But Doctor Lecter knows.

Friends Don't Frame Friends: A Lesson for a Clueless Cannibal by LadyFelixTristis [words: 5,041] — (Season 1)

Ear? What ear? Will Graham doesn’t try to thwart Hannibal Lecter’s plans for him. He just does. By accident. And then on purpose.

For All My Pride, You Were the Fall of Me by nobetterlove [words: 13,212] — (Season 2)

After being released from the BSHCI, Will grabs the dogs he can't live without and leaves without a trace

Letters to God by CarnivalMirai [words: 4,698] — (Season 3+)

Will writes letters to Hannibal every day after his incarceration. But they never make it.

Blankets, Coffee Cups, and Christmas Morning by sourweather [words: 6,352] — (Season 3+)

Hannibal wants to enjoy the domesticity. The love, the closeness, the being Known. But something about his life with Will makes him want to lash out.

All These Fictionary Tales by ProxyOne [words: 18,492] — (Season 3+)

After the fall, Hannibal is presumed dead. Will has been declared dead. But Will isn't willing to believe that Hannibal would just abandon him like that 

Seduction by BloodunderMoonlight [words: 7,086] — (Season 3+)

“For fuck’s sake, Hannibal.” Will glared at him, brimming with wrath he had only seen behind Will’s gun. He had no doubt Will would draw out a knife from beneath the duvet or pillows, but clearly words were enough to make him gobsmacked—“Are you a fucking virgin or monk? If all these can’t get you to bed then I don’t know what can.” Hannibal stood gaping at Will.

Blood, Cedar and Dog Hair by sourweather [words: 3,351] — (Season 3+)

Something terrible happens while Hannibal is in prison. Something he never prepared for.

Hidden Potential by sourweather [words: 20,789] — (Soulmates)

The first time you make eye contact with your soul mate, you see a vision of their greatest accomplishment. They call it your Peak. Unfortunately for Will Graham, his soul mate's Peak is a vision of blood and horror. Fortunately for Hannibal Lecter, his soul mate's is too.

Karoliai by slashyrogue [words: 4,577] — (Sugar Daddy)

Will works at a jewelry store. He has worked there for three months and sold less than any other person there. His boss tells him to sell something by the end of the day or he may not have a job tomorrow. If there was one thing Will hated more than having to talk people into buying jewelry they didn’t need, it was trying to do it two days before Valentine’s Day.

[gazs-blue-hat]

okay! Finally getting back to this lol. Thanks Hal for the tag!! I'm changing the format a bit to make more sense to me but I like to share about me to my friends!

Appearance:

I am 5' 1" // I wear glasses // I have auburn hair // I prefer tight pants and shoes but loose shirts // I have both earlobes pierced and a failed daith piercing // I have four tattoos and am planning a fifth // I have hazel eyes // I have dyed AND highlighted my hair // I have had plastic surgery (Bilateral breast reduction and it was the BEST decision ever) // I have had braces // I sunburn super quickly like in five minutes // I have freckles // I don't usually paint my nails unless someone else takes me to the nail salon (and is paying. I'm in college lol and don't have money to spend on that) // I don't typically wear makeup (Sensory issues) // I LOVE to smile // I would say I'm relatively pleased with how I look now after my surgery // I don't care what shoes I wear really, if they fit, I'm happy // I don't like wearing hats (Sensory issues once again)

Hobbies + Talents:

I love to swim // I can sometimes play the piano // I like to write and I like the idea of drawing (I'm gonna start practicing soon) // I can use ASL almost fluently // I have won a trophy in swimming //I can cook and bake without recipes (love doing both) // I learned how to swim in the ocean // I love writing (Please send me requests I'm begging) // I can not do origami // I prefer listening to podcasts instead of watching things. I don't have enough attention for a TV show or a movie // I can still to a somersault // I like to sing but I never do it in public // I like to think I could survive in the wild on my own, but I would honestly die before I kill an animal to eat (I don't mind eating meat, I couldn't do it myself) // I have read a new book series this year! The first Mistborn trilogy // I like spending time with friends but not using my voice or anything. I prefer to type or use sign language when I can // I would travel during school breaks but money is an issue // I can and often do handstands

Relationships:

I am married ( 3 years in April) // I have a best friend I have known for over 14 years // My parents are together // I have dated (and married) my best friend // I confessed to my crush // I have been in a long distance relationship (hated it) // I love giving advice to my friends // I have made an online friend // I haven't met up with someone I met online YET. I plan on doing so sometime.

Aesthetics:

I love the ocean and everything in it // Sunrises are less important to me than sunsets // I enjoy the weather right before a big storm // I have slept under the stars // I don't meditate outside but I love being outside // I don't really like chiping birds but I like chriping crickets and cicadas // I LOVE the smell of the beach // I know what snow tastes like // I listen to studio Ghibli music to fall asleep // I can't stand thunderstorms (Trauma) // I don't enjoy cloud watching because the sky hurts my eyes // I have attended a bonfire // I pay close attention to colors // I would live in the ocean if I could // I like hiking and being out in nature but health issues stop me from doing that often // autumn is my favorite season specifically October

Miscellaneous:

I prefer falling asleep in a moving vehicle (I often ask my spouse to drive me around if I can't sleep) // I am the mom friend but I am also the big sister friend // I live by the quote from Jennifer Dukes Lee "In a world where you can be anything, be kind" // I really like the smell of sharpies and spray paint and most things I shouldn't like smelling // I am certainly involved in extra curricular activities (D&D being the biggest one) // I enjoy Mexican food, Specifically quesadillas and tomato rice // I know how to drive a stick shift IN THEORY // I believe in true love but not necessarily romantic love. I have a really good relationship with my little brother. We are for sure soulmates in the way that my soul and my being is directly connected to his // I make up scenarios to fall asleep and like listening to x listener audios (I accept full cringe, I don't mind. I like what I like <3 ) // I sing in the shower to keep time. I pick a certain song and try to be done by the end of the song to save on water (Currently it's "Dinosaur park" by Owl City) // Sometimes I wish I lived in a video game but then I remember how happy I am with my life here // I always wanted a canopy over my bed but the idea of it catching on fire is too much for me // I am Caucasian through and through // I have two cats living with me and my spouse but two dogs that still live with my parents

No pressure tags: @ghostlythots @plumteaa-remus @sprout-fics @siriusleee

rules: bold the ones that are true and tag 15 other people to do it too!

thank you to the beautiful @mvtthewmurdvck for the tag! 💜

appearance:

i’m over 5’5” // i wear glasses/contacts // i have blonde hair // i prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // i have one or more piercings // i have at least one tattoo // i have blue eyes // i have dyed or highlighted my hair // i have gotten plastic surgery // i have or had braces // i sunburn easily // i have freckles // i paint my nails // i typically wear make-up // i don’t often smile // i am pleased with how i look // i prefer nike to adidas // i wear baseball hats backwards

hobbies + talents:

i play a sport // i can play an instrument // i am artistic // i know more than one language // i have won a trophy in some sort of competition // i can cook or bake without a recipe // i know how to swim // i enjoy writing // i can do origami // i prefer movies to tv shows // i can execute a perfect somersault // i enjoy singing // i could survive in the wild on my own // i have read a new book series this year // i enjoy spending time with friends // i travel during school or work breaks // i can do a handstand

relationships:

i am in a relationship // i have been single for over a year // i have a crush // i have a best friend i have known for ten years // my parents are together // i have dated my best friend // i am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // i have a long distance relationship // i am an only child // i give advice to my friends // i have made an online friend // i met up with someone i have met online

aesthetics:

i have heard the ocean in a conch shell // i have watched the sun rise // i enjoy rainy days // i have slept under the stars // i meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // i enjoy the smell of the beach // i know what snow tastes like // i listen to music to fall asleep // i enjoy thunderstorms // i enjoy cloud watching // i have attended a bonfire // i pay close attention to colours // i find mystery in the ocean // i enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favourite season

miscellaneous:

i can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // i am the mom friend // i live by a certain quote // i like the smell of sharpies // i am involved in extracurricular activities // i enjoy mexican food // i can drive a stick-shift // i believe in true love // i make up scenarios to fall asleep // i sing in the shower // i wish i lived in a video game // i have a canopy above my bed // i am multiracial // i am a redhead // i own at least three dogs

np tags: @uselsshuman, @lunarvicar, @moriflos, @nightingale-ghost-writer, @sam-id

[zosonils]

adhd phineas content maybe ? pls ? :)

phineas has mixed adhd with a slight lean towards hyperactive!

he hyperfixates hard and fast. his hyperfixations are usually short-lived, but it’s more because he keeps latching onto new ones rather than burning out

he also hyperfocuses REALLY hard. he’d probably forget to eat most days if ferb wasn’t around to remind him to take breaks because he gets so wrapped up in what he’s doing that he can’t pay attention to anything else

he’s at his most functional during summer because he has the freedom to constantly engage with whatever interests him! during the school year he’s a lot foggier

generally when phineas is Feeling The Eighty HD he’ll just go tinker with something until he’s released enough energy to go back to focusing on what he’s supposed to be doing. inventing stuff is his most reliable self regulation tactic by a landslide and he gets antsy super fast when the option isn’t there for him

he’s almost constantly fidgeting because he’s so full of restless energy. he usually releases this energy by stimming! he’s super animated [pun kinda intended] when he stims, the funky little shape baby

it doesn’t take much to get phineas to hyperfixate on something, so he can fairly easily shift his focus for the day onto anything his friends need help with

he and ferb are an echo chamber of diverged neuro and constantly bounce their special interests and hyperfixations off each other! phineas makes sure that their projects revolve around ferb’s interests just as much as his, even if it means having to consciously shift his focus away from his hyperfixation of the week

danville is such a nice place and phineas is such a kind boy that he can evade rsd most of the time, but it hits sometimes and it hits really hard when it does

he isn’t well emotionally equipped to deal with mean people, so on the rare occasion that he does his rsd flares up a lot worse for a couple of days afterwards

candace can fairly reliably tell when phineas is feeling more sensitive than usual, and makes an effort to be nicer to him [or at least a bit less mean] when she can tell he really needs it

phineas doesn’t feel too many of the social hell side effects of adhd because he’s been raised in a very supportive environment, both from his family and from danville as a whole

throughout the series proper he’s unmedicated because his adhd doesn’t affect his life enough to really call for it. as he gets older the symptoms do start to hit a bit harder, so throughout m*ddle and high school he trials a few different medications before finally finding one that helps him concentrate without making him tired and cranky all the time

he likes sensory stimulation, but there’s a very fine line between Fuck Yes This Is Stimulating My Ay Dee Haitch Dee and Oh Shit I Just Remembered I Have Hella Sensory Issues that he can quickly trip over if he isn’t paying close attention [ie always]

i know i mentioned this earlier but god he is just physically vibing at all hours. movement gets his energy out and stimulates him all at the same time so pretty much the only time he isn’t movin’ and groovin’ is when he’s asleep [and even then he’s been known to twist and turn in his sleep]

bonus 2d headcanon: phineas2 has to mask a lot of his neurodivergent traits thanks to the far less forgiving nature of doof2’s tri-state area, but after seeing how openly his vanilla counterpart stims and infodumps and pours his entire heart into his interests he starts to break those mental blocks down and confidently express who he is. by the time doof2 has been out of power for a good while phineas2 is openly the same goofy little ball of adhd and love he is in the first dimension, albeit with much worse rsd because of the ~ t r a u m a ~

sorry this is kind of a wall of garbage hdnfkjnf i do not control the adhd any more than phineas does

[tamagiwa]

sunflower + salvia + oak + begonia for ushijima :-)

sunflower :   what brings your muse the most joy in life ?

victory, mainly. there’s an indescribable feeling of satisfaction after winning each game— which you think he’d get used to over time— that pleases him. he’s not the type of player who tracks his progress and thinks, ‘ i got this win because i worked hard for it and i grew as an athlete, ’ so his joy isn’t necessarily satisfaction as a result of hard work. it’s more that he likes the more readily available tangible/sensory details related to victory. he kind of takes a step back from the world of the court and feels satisfied by the feeling of strain in his muscles, the shout of a crowd ( not in an egotistical way, but in acknowledgement that he hadn’t really heard them before and now it’s like a new sense being unlocked to hear them again ), the smell of sweat, etc. he lives through volleyball going between two ‘ selves ’— the wakatoshi that plays like an animal, and the wakatoshi that becomes more in-touch with his surroundings when he lets loose after a match. so coming back after a victory/shifting between the two selves ... that feels great to him.

salvia :   is your muse possessive over people or things that matter a lot to them ? how do they express that possessiveness ,   or lack thereof ?

he’s not possessive over much. considering his upbringing, wakatoshi was very much put out on his own and forced to live independently ( or semi-independently ), with detached emotions. he applies that same upbringing to others and tends to think of other people and other objects as also being independent. when he speaks to his team, for example, he doesn’t belittle them for their performance but thinks of them as individuals responsible for their own abilities and duties. it’s not as if he thinks, ‘ shiratorizawa is my team and my family. ’ it’s just a combination of strong individuals who need to work themselves up to a higher level. in terms of his personal belongings, as well, he’s very lenient about sharing them and letting others use them. objects are just objects, and they’re independent— not necessarily ‘ his, ’ he thinks. if he has food and someone asks to share, he will. if someone needs a pair of shorts for practice, he’ll fetch some from his dorm. he takes the same kind of stance with other peoples’ belongings, like tendō’s magazines, and never sees any problem in asking to borrow them.

oak :   who would your muse consider the strongest person they know ?

coach washijō is almost like a second father to wakatoshi. i think he feels very indebted to him as a mentor and a ‘ friend ’ so to speak, since washijō recognized strength in wakatoshi even when his own family was divided over it ( it being his left-handedness ). tendō, similarly, noted that he liked washijō because he picked players based on strength and ability rather than background or personality, and wakatoshi probably appreciated that since his own background and personality were always ‘ lacking. ’ on a normal team, wakatoshi might be judged for his inability to socialize like the rest of the players, and he probably wouldn’t have been given the role of captain. but washijō never cared about that and accepted wakatoshi nonetheless. i think there’s a strange and unique relationship between the two— wakatoshi, although he’s not really aware of it himself, is glad to have someone who supports him and appreciates his ability. washijō, on the other hand, may not see him for his ( admittedly bland ) personality, but watches him play with the sort of intent that someone might have for a boy they’ve watched grow up, or for a boy who they want to see outgrow them when they were his age. they’re both very curt, so they’d never address it, but i think wakatoshi finds washijō comforting and suitable for his own personality as a mentor, and washijō sees wakatoshi as the son who is able to accomplish what he couldn’t as a teenager. they’re not excessively close, but they respect each other more than anyone else.

begonia :   how cautious is your muse ? are they prone to noticing red flags ,   or paranoid to the point of untrusting most everyone ? why or why not ?

‘ caution ’ is kind of a weird topic, because with wakatoshi i think that he’s not necessarily cautious, but he’s also aware that he’s probably not able to handle everything that comes his way. he’s self-assured in the sense that most things don’t bother him and he can slide through life relatively unscathed— when things come up, he either works harder to overcome them, approaches them with a flat/serious demeanor that tends to scare them off in some way, or doesn’t pay them enough attention to let them bother him. in that way, he’s kind of like the titanic, and just keeps chugging along without being fully aware of the ice he breaks up beneath him. things just tend to work out for wakatoshi, and because he’s self-assured and holds himself upright with his head forward, a lot of ‘ issues ’ that he should be cautious of never actually seem to touch him.

[yandere-daydreams]

I feel like if anyone had Thoughts about this it’d be you but : zodiac signs as yandere ?

I have so many thoughts on this!!! I’m assuming anon wants to know about sun signs only, so that’s what I did! Keep in mind that literally every single one of these will be biased towards how I view the signs, so if you disgree then.... sorry!! (This post also might be a little long because there are. Twelve signs.)

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Aries - Okokokok...... I would like to think..... an Aries would be a possessive, but in a very aggressive way?? Like if they’re jealous of one of your friends they will not hold back. If you wont get rid of them in your life, they’ll do it for you with little hesitation. I feel theyd be romantic and flirty, and refusing their advances just is Not an option. They’ll often lose their temper if you misbehave too much, and it wont take much to get them to that point. They’re very loud and headstrong, and will absolutely manipulate you into doing whatever they want. They aren’t very affectionate, but if you ask nicely enough they’ll begrudgingly cuddle with you (and secretly enjoy it but shhh) Their punishments: severe. Their amount of remorse: zero.

Taurus - Definitely a more submissive yandere!! Probably a delusional and when you disagree with them or tell them theyre wrong, that you don’t love them, they will probably cry so much and not speak to you for days at a time as opposed to physically punishing you. Will not get angry easily and will repress any anger they feel until one day they snap and go Crazy and break your legs or something. They will not take kindly to your nasty remarks or constant attempts to free yourself from their captivity, but they will generally react very passively because they love you and would never want to hurt you (unless they really had to, of course)!! 10/10 will make you nap with them. Constantly.

Gemini - They’re probably a little delusional, but also really obsessive and clingy!! They will force you to cuddle with them for HOURS AND HOURS and just... play with your hair... and babble about their day and the weather and whatever to keep you in their arms. It’s honestly pretty nice and relaxing, and perfect if you’re okay with lounging around all day. They’ll probably really half-ass everything too. Like yeah you’ll be in handcuffs, but if you really tried you’d probably be able to slip out of them because they didn’t bother getting ones that actually fit. Also, everytime you lash out at them they will completely brush it off and deflect everything. They will just pull you into their lap and coddle you until you’ve calmed down and stopped saying such ridiculous things to them. Will also make really dumb jokes in conversations they have with you, and you will have to laugh no matter how awful they are. I mean, unless you want to be punished (read: cuddled) more.

Cancer - A soft yandere, baby!! They will pamper the HELL out of you. They will deck your room out with the nicest furniture, get you the /softest/ handcuffs on the market, bake you your favorite desserts, the whole nine yards!! They will comfort you when you cry about your situation, but will refuse to acknowledge that they are the reason your crying. Very delusional and very manipulative, will guilt trip you into being nice to them. Very powerful puppy dog eyes. 10/10 will kiss you on the forehead and apologize for every bad thing they’ve ever had to do to you.

Leo - They were probably the popular kid in school and you probably had a massive crush on them. When u finally managed to get their attention they never stopped paying attention to you. The next thing you knew, you were locked in their attic. They are very ambitious, and once they had their eyes set on you, no one was going to get in their way. Very possessive, will cut off all of your friends for you and be very jealous!! When the roles are reversed, though, and you get jealous of their friends, it’s fine baby!! There’s nothing to be jealous of!! ^3^ Will probably spoil you a little bit, but only if you havent pissed them off recently. If you’re mean to them they will take it so personally and be so dramatic about it!!

“Can you say something to me it’s been three days.”

“I thought my voice was annoying you >:T”

“Oh my god-“

Virgo - Protective protective protective!! Will lock you in a room with absolutely no furniture with sharp corners or anything you could hurt yourself on. An actual perfectionist, will put makeup on you, do your hair so there isn’t a single strand out of place, and dress you in color coordinated outfits ONLY. Will literally take the best care of you, but it’s overbearing how much they worry about your safety all. The. Time. You will more than likely never leave the house without them, and never without at least SPF 50 sunscreen on. Will attempt to be your personal therapist, but has never properly processed and emotion before, so... they aren’t very effective. If you attempt to escape, they will punish you severely.

“Ayo I sure wish I wasn’t HERE right now ahaha sure wish I was HOME and not with YOU.”

“Oh? Ahahaha okay!” *literally breaks your fucking toes* “See! You have to stay with me!! You could get hurt much worse than this in the outside world, you have to be more careful!! :)”

Libra - Probably protective and obsessive to a certain extent. Will probably be really sympathetic?? But like in a “I cant let you go I’m sorry the world is bad and scary and I don’t want you getting hurt.” kinda way. They would want to give you a little bit of freedom, though, so they’ll let you go out with your friends occasionally, but they’ll be VERY cautious and, well, protective of you. They are very understanding and give you lenient punishments when you push them over the edge and theyre ‘forced’ to punish you, but will not comfort you afterwards to compensate for the lack of severity of their punishments. Balance, baby!

Scorpio - An obsessive for sure. Literally IN LOVE WITH YOU. Will instagram stalk you, your family, your friends, your neighbor’s dogs, ANYONE that has ever been in contact with you. They already know everything about you when they finally execute their plan to kidnap you. They’re very attractive and strong willed and will put you in your place with no hesitation, but afterwards will attempt to kiss it better because they feel sorta bad. They just want you to love them!! They crave so much attention constantly, and will want to cuddle with you and be close to you at all times. You will have to be an excellent liar, because they will be able to call you on your bullshit so easily!! They will absolutely not tolerate any lying, so it’s better to justbe honest with them, even if you think it will make them mad. 10/10 will probably stare at you for hours on end without saying a single word and then watch you sleep. All lovingly, of course.

Sagittarius - P o s s e s s i v e. Can and will beat the shit out of anyone that touches you and will beat the shit out of you if you mention someone other than them to teach you a lesson. They have very bad commitment issues because they’re afraid of the people they love leaving them, and they overcompensate for it a lot. Probably actually a little bit out of their mind beyond the whole “I have my love interest locked in my basement” thing. Will give you the bare minimum amount of the things you need to survive and will deprive you of food and water for days at a time if you say something a little too nasty to them. Is really good at saying the right things to talk you down when you’re upset after a punishment or something. Very good at making you laugh as much as you hate to admit it!! 10/10 will probably turn to sensory deprivation if all else fails just because they’re sadistic like that.

Capricorn - Very responsible, planned a lot for your arrival. Very smart, rational, and protective, they have a plan for literally any situation thrown their way. They’re very fragile but they project it all onto you, and as a result they take very good care of you. They’re kinda intimidating but actually very sweet, and they love you more than they love themself. Probably rich because they’re really good at saving money, and they’ll spoil you with every cent they have. Bossy, and if you choose to ignore what they tell you to do they will make your life miserable for the next few days. Again, they’re very serious looking and intimidating, but they have a playful and carefree side that only really comes out around you!! They love you a whole lot, and make that very clear through the gifts they give you constantly.

Aquarius - Hear me out. Remember that tsundere yandere post Daydreams made? That’s Aquarius. They are very mean and nasty!!! A true goblin, honestly. They’re totally head over heels in love with you, but they’ll make you work to earn that love, even though you didn’t ask for it. You want attention?

“Haha nerd, why would I come cuddle you?? That’s like... weird... You’re gross!!”

Do they hate you, or do they want to marry you and ride off into the sunset with you? You’ll never know, because they wont ever let you get close enough to them to figure out what goes on inside that crazy head of theirs. Overall will probably treat you well, if you’re okay with the constant bullying and berating that you’ll get from them daily, that is.

Pisces - Soft like Cancer, but obsessive like Scorpio!! Has very strong feelings for you, but doesn’t know how to manage them in a healthy way. They want you all to themself, and the only way they know how to keep you in their life is by taking you. Very manipulative and delusional.

“Haha fancy seeing you here babe!”

“I am locked in your basement and I have been for the past seven months-“

“Crazy how we just keep running into eachother! Are you, like, obsessed with me or something?”

Like Virgo, they’ll try to be your personal therapist, but Pisces is actually good at it. You can never hide how you’re feeling from them, because if they pick up even the slightest difference in your tone of voice they will dig through their brain for any possible event that could have taken place to make your mood shift even the slightest bit. Crazy, but in a very loving and wholesome way. 10/10 would take a bullet for you!!