#but also shut the fuck up; just fucking let people live their lives
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Okay so I'm been having this shit brewing in my head for a while and I keep coming back to it. I want to be like G1 but also a mix of other continuities as well Like TF Prime, TF One, Etc.
This is my shitty writing, I'm sorry if it's bad I just want to put it out there. If you have any ideas of what I should call this au please comment.
So Imagine this, we know that Megatron is like the leader of the decepticons right? He’s the founder so just like what if Orion becomes the leader of the decepticons instead?? Hey, it is a thought. I'm not saying he is the founder. Like how the normal story goes Orion pax the archivist meets Megatronus the gladiator, they talk about ideas and the future, Megatronous constructs the Decepticons, Orion joins him. ( I always liked the thought that Orion was one of the first decepticons of Megs group before becoming prime.)
They have two different perspectives. Orion thinks that they can peacefully have an audience with the Council/Senate (idk which one to use.) to take down and rebuild this terrible system they live by while Megatronous on the other hand thinks that they won’t listen to words and only by action (VIOLENCE!! ETC.) Btw of course this is an OpMeg so yeah they are together, there so trusting in one another and collaborate so well. Big Gladiator Mech and Lil Archivist bot
So to make this hurt, Orion was able to get an audience with the Council/Senate by the help of Sentinel “Prime”. And after convincing Megs to go see them to present his dream to dismantling the oppressive caste system. But of course the Naive Orion didn’t know that the Council/senate was using him to lure the Leader of the decepticons into a trap. They didn’t want him to spread anymore of these ‘ideas’.
(I want sentinel to be a part of this cuz I love and hate that bastard.)
Orion comes with Megatronus to speak with the senate and Sentinel.
(Okay so I'm still having Orion become prime but not like how the Senate will make him prime. Sentinel Took the matrix for himself but the Matrix doesn’t respond to him, so it is just a piece of junk without a Worthy Mech to attune to it. He still uses it as a way for publicity, it's not like citizens really knows how the Matrix works anyways.)
Orion is standing next to him as he backs up Megatronus words as he explains to them.
After this the Senate mocks him, Sentinel Truly explains to them why Lower caste should stay below them. They are born to serve the superior and die when useless, it is their Primus given purpose. Orion interrupts the Sentinel as he is shocked and angry at his words, “any bot can be more than what they're supposedly ‘born to do’.”
He uses Megatronus as an example, how he became more than a Miner, a Gladiator, he learned how to read and write, wrote literature that moved people, that anyone is the same at spark no matter their frame type. In a quick swift movement Sentinel who had enough of the words of this archivist went to silence him.
As he grabs him by the throat and throws him across the room. Megatronous tried to stop him but was then restrained by Guards. Sentinel tells them both how stupid they are. That what he says is right, that he is a prime and there not and the people will listen to him and not some nobodies. ( Basically Nuh uh Im prime so i get to do what ever da fuck i want , you poor ass bitches)(dude not even a fucken prime like brother shut the fuck up)
Orion coughs as he slowly rises up from the ground. He wobbles a bit before speaking. “You may be a prime but I won’t let you mock him or put anyone beneath you anymore. Freedom is the right of all sentient beings. They are more than their function!” As he finishes that statement a low rumbling sound emits from Sentinel's chest and a low blue glow seeps out. The Matrix recognizes a worthy mech to attune to.
Sentinel baffles tires to keep the relic inside as he panics. The relic bursts out his chest as it makes its way towards Orion. He grits his teeths in pain as he orders the guards to terminate him to keep him from getting the relic. Shots fire as Orion tries to run, the Matrix stops and floats waiting for its chosen welder to claim it.
His left arm is shot off his body and he takes a hit at his knee. Orion cries out for Megatronous as he falls to the ground again. Megatronous finally gets out of the guard's hold, tearing them apart and runs towards him. Sentinel huffs in pain as he slowly walks towards Orion who is crawling pathetically to the Matrix.
With a blaster ready he points it towards the crawling mech. “ why couldn't you be a good lil mech just stay ignorant”. As he fires Megatronous throws Sentinel taking the shot. Orion shouted in horror. Megatronus collapses as smoke emits out a gaping hole near his spark.
He bleeds heavily as Orion crawls towards his injured beloved. A large servo goes up to cradle his face “ Please, don’t leave, I can't lose you!” Orion begs. Megatronous wipes his tears as he speaks “Do not cry my little one, I will not leave you. I will always be with you my spark”. Megatronous gives him one last kiss as his frame slowly grays. “ No Nononononono, no please my champion please” he cries.
Yeah again this is just an idea of how Megatronus is going to die, I might change it, who knows. So then Orion filled with resentment towards Sentinel. Like how D-16 became Megatron due anger building up inside as he was lied to slave away his entire life, for Orion it is more of him believing in something, that there is good in people and no need to lean towards violence but to be betrayed by the system that he relied on, he experience a violation of trust. Especially when the person he idolizes hurts the ones he loves. Pretty much breaks you and how you see the world around you.
I want Orion to feel terrible, just terrible, to blame himself (which isn’t new) for the death of his beloved champion, for killing the mech that people look up to, the mech that people put their faith in, the one who united everyone to strive for more.
After Megatronous dies, he takes the Matrix and feels a sense of duty to fulfill their dream as he feels the need to redeem himself. Then he'll step up and take the role as the leader of the decepticons, he believes he needs to bear this responsibility all to himself, to punish himself for his actions for leading him to his death due to his naivety.
If you have any questions don't be afraid to send an ask, I can elaborate if you like.
#transformers au#transformers maccadam#maccadam#transformers megatron#transformers optimus#transformers orion pax#transformers fanfiction#transformers fan continuity#megatron#optimus prime#orion pax#transformers one sentinel prime#transformers sentinel prime#sentinel prime#deception Optimus
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ToA, but the A stands for Ares
Bc I think many have questioned why Ares wasn't (noticeably) punished for helping steal the Master Bolt and Helm of Darkness. He's already the Olympian pariah of sorts, a major punishment shouldn't be out of the question.
So he spends about a year in limbo before being dumped in Manhattan as a ball of immortal rage confined in a tiny mortal body. Haven't decided whether he's in his early or late teens, but regardless, he is smol with like. Toothpicks for arms.
He does not initially intend to head to Camp. He intends to squat at some fighting ring or something until Zeus gets bored. Anything to keep others, especially his siblings, from seeing the state he's in.
However, he has no weapon and nobody is particularly intimidated by a roughed-up, dirty kid, regardless of the inferno raging in his eyes. So, off to Camp he goes, just in time for The Sea of Monsters.
He. Does not know that a mortal immortal's services have to be claimed. He would've made one of his kids do it, if he had. Instead, he gets caught off-guard and Annabeth gets him. He hates it. Not only has he lost all control over himself, but he lost it to a child of Athena, to a friend of Percy's. He has a rough time with it.
Iiiiiiii don't know how Clarisse gets her ship without Ares as a god. Maybe he can summon it without his powers because the soldiers owe a debt to him regardless of his mortality? Sure, let's go with that.
(Also! Disregarding the "abusive father" characterization of PJO Ares. If there is one thing that man loves, one thing he will never be violent against, it's his kids, fuck off, Rick. He may not be a great dad (as all gods), being too rough and overestimating his kids' capabilities and being bad at emotions/empathy, but he is never raising a single finger against his kids. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean they don't have some degree of fear about not living up to his expectations)
He goes with the trio on their secret quest because he's. Kind of tied to Annabeth, at the moment, and also because it's a chance to fight and hopefully regain the shred of his Father's favour he still had before TLT. Percy hates it and they fight constantly; Ares spends a good chunk of the quest muzzled with Annabeth's "Shut up!" commands. He's not having a good time.
Clarisse is pissed that he came because she thinks it means he doesn't trust her abilities and thinks she's weak. This is Not True but Ares really fucking sucks at communication, emotions, and relationships in general, so she stays pissed at him.
His temper gets even shorter than it already was when he, Annabeth, and Percy get separated from Clarisse because he's worried and wants to hurry up and find her. Percabeth don't realize that's why, so it ends up as a huge mess. Ares is trying to rush through everything by immediately attacking while Annabeth and Percy are actually trying to plan some things out, so he ends up being kept on a really short leash. Like, "Don't do anything but follow us" short. It's almost enough to get him to spill his worries; alas, he cannot speak.
(Honestly, that probably ends up as a huge part of the story; his arc would probably essentially be to get him to open up and help him understand and deal with his emotions, but he keeps pissing people off which makes Annabeth make him shut up so he can't talk shit out like he's supposed to. The first proper steps of his character development have to happen away from Annabeth, which means it's really convenient that she gets kidnapped in the next book!)
Anyways.
Annabeth lets up on the commands when they get to Polyphemus's Island, with the caveat that he doesn't rush into anything. He wants to absolutely decimate the Cyclops for daring to capture and think of marrying his daughter, but unfortunately, he does not have the ability to do so, even with a godly power up born of his protective rage. He absolutely vows to take care of it when he regains godhood, though, regardless of Poseidon's potential wrath. This also further cements his hatred for Poseidon's children, which is honestly very impressive because they're probably already one of the things he hates the most.
His reunion with Clarisse is. Well. It certainly is. Unfortunately, they are both allergic to admitting how worried they were. Instead, Clarisse just gruffly thanks him for his help and Ares says that no one is allowed to touch his kids (which Clarisse takes in a possessive/neg way, of him sort of taking ownership, as gods are wont to do. This doesn't get rectified for. A while). They both want a hug, inexperienced as they are with them. Neither will get it.
That's about it for SoM. It'd be more about him learning about his limits and getting a better idea of his kids' limits than proper Emotional Character Development. That'd start in TTC, kind of like how Apollo really started growing after TBM.
Ares absolutely has his own flavour of trauma; more "typical" soldier PTSD and stuff about being the hated Olympian than past lovers, tho. A good bit of his arc would probably be something about learning what healthy relationships look like, how to manage his feelings in a non-destructive way, and that he doesn't always need to be "the strong one" and should be protected sometimes too. He doesn't get the same speedrun as Apollo, since he'd be mortal for a few years (until TLO), but considering his thing is more about learning how people and relationships work while Apollo's was a bit more about his ego and actions getting checked, I think that can be justified. This man has been ignoring emotions other than rage for millennia, it'll take a bit more than six months to get him to open up.
(Mortal Ares in TTC)
#pjo#rick riordan#pjo hoo toa#hoo#pjo fandom#pjo series#pjoverse#pjo ares#pjo au#toa#I've been in an Ares mood recently#and I know there's AUs about Ares joining Apollo as a mortal#so I thought. why not#why not give him a separate journey#Ares is a Dad™. not a very good one yet but a Dad™ nonetheless#he is not genuinely threatening his kids. ever#accidently? in a non-serious manner that they take at face value?#perhaps#he shall be horrified when he realizes his kids fear him#trials of ares
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I think there's a lot of people who equate aversion of disgust on their part to meaning something is morally wrong, and it's so blatantly not how the world works
Colonoscopy bags and feeding tubes make me uncomfortable (tubes going into the skin make me uncomfortable, honestly even IVs make me kind of uncomfortable), but that doesn't make them immoral. It's obviously just up to me to be polite and deal with my own shit in my own head rather than being rude for no reason... which is exactly what I do
I'm not gonna be weird towards someone who needs that stuff, and honestly if I weren't saying this here to make a point you'd probably never know I felt that way cause it's just my job to suck it up and move on cause it's not actually a big deal
Yet so often people basically use their gut feelings of something being yucky as the beginning, middle, and end of their argument for why it's wrong and should exist
Sorry, come back with an actual argument
Be an adult, grow up, and come back when you have actual proof of harm or else shut the hell up (and honestly if it's about how someone else is living their own life, I kind of don't care what proof you think you have, still shut the hell up)
#you know; like one example I very much can give about this is the way people will be like 'being fat is unhealthy' and it's like cool...#but also shut the fuck up; just fucking let people live their lives#like even if you're right; you're still being a huge asshole to that random person for no damn reason; shut your stupid mouth#frankly it's like... lets say someone pours bleach on their eggs every day#after I've made sure they understand how wildly fucking dangerous that is; if they're like 'I know; but I like it'#...you know... what else can I do?#yeah they're probably gonna end up real fucked up or dead; but if they're an adult living their own life...#you know... how do I get to enforce how they live it?#unless they have dementia or something; unless I have reason to believe they are incapable of understanding...#I mean... people are allowed to make harmful bad decisions#so long as they're not bleaching anyone else's eggs... I kinda gotta just piss off no matter how I feel about it#and this is an extreme hyperbolic situation I've picked just to show where the line is drawn#that even in extreme cases of undeniable harm... do I really get to stick my nose in?#the shit people are actually sticking their noses into other people's business over are way more minor shit#where even more it's like how bout you fuck off and let that person do what they want with their life#I don't have to approve; frankly I don't even need an opinion#unless they're hurting someone by being like a tiktok prankster... not my business
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[PUT INTO PLACE, TIED DOWN AND ARRANGED, AND IS NEVER THE SAME, AGAIN.]<-listen to my favorite songs. VAMPIRES ARE WONDERFUL ARENT THEY. THE FLESH IS SO MUCH MORE DURABLE. SO MUCH STRETCHIER THAN HUMANS. THE STRESS DOESNT KILL A VAMPIRE THE SAME WAY IT DOES A HUMAN. YOU CAN TAKE THEM APART THREAD BY THREAD AND LEAVE THEM WIDE AWAKE WITHOUT WORRY OF THE BRAINMATTER SPOILING UNDER VINEGARY AGONY.
#cw gore#WEEEE WHIPPING OUT ALL MY BELOVED PIXEL HORROR GAME SOUNDTRACKS FOR THIS ONE#STILL A WIP#SORTA. FORKSFORKSFORKS INSPIRED ME TO START WORKIN AT IT AGAIN. AND NOW IT LIVES. IT LIIIVEESS!!!#MOSLT.Y ATLEAST. I MIGHT MESS W IT MORE LATER. WE SHALL SEE. ANYWAY GABRIEL MONTEZ HUH. WOW POOR GUY#THERES A FASCINATING FEELING THAT COMES WITH BEING ON A OPERATING TABLE.AND BEING IN IMMENSE PAIN#ONE OF MY FONDEST MEMORIES IS LAYING ON A DENTIST CHAIR. SHAKING AND INVOLUNTARILY CRYING AFTER MANY MANY#NEEDLES TO MY THE MOUTH. I METABOLIZE THE NUMBING STUFF QUICKLY APPARENTLY. THEY NEEDED ALOT OF NUMBING SHOTS#BUT I WASNT AFRAID OR DISTRESSED. THE DENTIST WAS VERYVERY NICE AND ALSO UH. PRETTY. BUT THATS BESIDE THE POINT#THE POINT IS. THAT IT WAS FASCINATING TO REALIZE MY PHYSICAL RESPONSE TO PAIN UNDER A CONTROLLED ENVIRONMENT#I DIDNT KNOW HOW EASY IT WAS TO SHAKE AND TO CRY PRYVIOUS TO THAT EXPERIENCE.MY DENTAL ADVENTURES CONTINUE#THEY CONTINUE TO HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHAT ITS LIKE FOR PAIN TO BOIL AWAY THE TIME. TO DISTORT THE PASSING HOURS AND CONSUME EVERY THOUGHT#DO YOU REMEMBER PAIN? THE MOST SEVERE PAIN IN YOUR LIFE? NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE RED LIGHTS? RED LIGHTS AND SHIFTING FIGURES#NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE PAIN UNRELENTING.PAIN WORLD SHATTERING.PAIN IMMORTAL.CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING PULLED APART#THE HUMAN MIND CAN ONLY WITHSTAND SO MUCH PAIN BEFORE IT SHUTS DOWN AND HIDES.IT NEEDS TO PROTECT ITSELF AFTERALL. PAIN CAN ALTER#PAIN SHIFTS THE CHEMISTY OF THE MIND OF THE FLESH OF THE SOUL. FOR HUMANS ATLEAST. BUT YOU ARE NO LONGER HUMAN#YOU CHOSE OTHERWISE DIDNT YOU BOY.BECAUSE YOU WANTED MORE.STATUS.POWER.APPROVAL.SECURITY.SAFET.Y.#OHHH YOU CAN WITHSTAND THE PAIN FOR THAT. FOR ALL THAT. YOU WERENT TOLD THERE WOULD BE PAIN BUT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WERE PROMISED.#ITS ALL WORTH IT IN THE END. NOW LETS JUST HOPE SOME BLONDE TWERP DOESNT PROVE TO BE STRONGER THAN THE STRONGEST PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE#LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. I LOST MY TRAIN O THOUGHT#anyway dawww poorr gabeee that shit probably huuurrrrtttss but so much time has passed that your body got tired of screaming and squirming#why havnt you passed out yet? maybe you might as well have at this point. like sleeping with your eyes open and your nerves awake#OH HEY FUNFACT ABT THE ART. I FOUGHT W IT ALOT. TOOK A LONG WHILE FOR ME TO BE REMOTELY HAPPY W THIS.#i was thinking abt pixel horror video games when i made it.just as i do with all great things ofc ofc#i love you pixel horror game i love yooouuuuu.i struggled so much w the colors for so LONNGG UHGHGHGH but im finally happy...im finally fre
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every time i see someone shit on the xianzhou story quest on twitter i die a little bit inside.
#narus' corner#SO LET'S TALK ABOUT HOW EVERYONE HATED XIANZHOU BECAUSE EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHERS AND ANCESTORS HAD PULLED UP THEORY AFTER THEORY#AND WHEN SAID THEORY DID NOT FCKING GO ALONG WITH WHAT THE ACTUAL WRITERS HAD IN STORE HELL BROKE LOOSE#ion think u understand#maybe im biased. i probably am but the way hoyoverse tackled immortality with xianzhou is quite bittersweet honestly#YA'LL WANTED UR DOOMED YAOI AND YURI AND TBH ME TOO BUT THEY ARE STILL FCKING DOOMED EVEN IF SOME THEORIES DID NOT GO AS MOST SHIPPERS WANT#THEY STILL DOOMED MILADYS AND GENTS AND NONBINARY PEEPS DAN HENG IS SUFFERING FROM PTSD AS WE SPEAK.#u look at xianzhou and see predecessors suffering the consequences of what their ancestors wanted because of immortality and vow to stop it#because they been fighting people against GALAXIES who wants a taste of that immortality who also don't KNOW THE CONSEQUENCES OF IT WHICH I#LITERALLY GETTING MARA-STRUCK WHENEVER UR MEMORIES OVERLOAD FROM LIVING TOO LONG AND GO: damn this was shit writing cause i didn't understa#IMMA AAAH#eternal wars where when u find peace after winning you DON'T BECAUSE YOU TURN MARA-STRUCK FROM THE AMOUNT OF TRAUMA U HAVE#when immorality isn't immortality in a sense u can't be killed but long lifespan but then u can't even live said long lifespan#because u get mara-struck from participating in wars to protect AND YA'LL COME OVER HERE AND SAY BAD WRITING?!#and don't come with what the fuck is phantylia doing#ion think u understand how fucked we would've been if phantylia managed to actually absorb that ambrosial arbor AS A GODDAMN EMANATOR#OF DESTRUCTION OF ALL THINGS?! YA'LL WANT INFINITE HEALING WHILE GETTING BLASED OR SMTH!?!#and the aftermath which was probs the most hated on#imma just.#imma shut up LMFAO
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I am so unbelievably pissed off. FUCK HOAs
Oh, my trash/recycling bin can't be visible except on pickup day? Ok whatever fine I hate you but I can deal with this
Weekly inspections?????? FU FU FU FU FU
SECOND NOTICE ALSO WE'RE CHARGING YOU MONEY TO SEND YOU CERTIFIED MAIL OF THIS TOTALLY LEGIT TOTALLY SECOND NOTICE OF WHAT IS ACTUALLY A VIOLATION cue me: checks notes. Hmm. My recycling bin was. on the curb. on recycling pickup day. You know. The day it has to be out. The day it is motherfucking ALLOWED TO BE FUCKING OUT AND VISIBLE.
so. 1) not a violation
I have sent them the trash AND recycling pickup schedules, which are DIFFERENT, btw
I have disputed the fact of the violation
I have disputed the linking of this "violation" to a previous violation MONTHS AGO--their "first notice" in this case was a "Courtesy Notice" LITERALLY 5 MONTHS AGO and they've done so many inspections since then and my bin CLEARLY WASN'T OUT IN THOSE INTERVENING MONTHS so WTMFH
So I am posting like a crazy person here instead of sending the absolutely deranged email I almost sent (I did send a slightly less deranged version with the disputes, and requesting a hearing)
OMG. It has been. Less than one hour since I learned this fun fun news. My bin was out YESTERDAY, y'all. YESTERDAY. I am going to blow a gasket
#it's a relatively privileged problem to have (omg i have a home truly i am grateful) but it's still a goddamned problem and i'm allowed#to fucking complain about it#in case it needs to be said#*rolling my eyes*#i advocate for free/actually affordable housing for everyone who needs it because we ALL deserve a safe secure stable home#whatever type of home that may be#it is absolutely goddamned ridiculous that megacorps can buy all the housing#rent it out at extortionate rates and evict people willy nilly#and we're talking about a “housing crisis” and not a “STOP LETTING CORPORATIONS AND BILLIONAIRES HOARD ALL THE HOUSING” crisis#goddamn.#ha elect me president (ahaha don't do this i am not a good public speaker) and I'll push congress to pass some really neat legislation#hey be more direct: elect me to congress (ahaha don't do this) and i'll WRITE some goddamn nifty legislation and yell about it as long and#as loud as i can until people start to just fucking say yes to make me shut the fuck up#(i know that's not how it works. again. don't actually elect me to a government position)#exemplia gratis:#No individual person shall own more than 6 homes UNLESS they pay a Housing Market Shrinkage Fee for removing viable housing from the market#why 6 and not 2? 2 is a lot! it's excessive! but having A vacation home shouldn't be a crime. Having 5 vacation homes is ridiculous and#awful and whatever but it's not likely to be the source of all our greatest “housing shortage” problems. no. I'm aiming for the absolutely#monstrously greedy and egregious motherfuckers who---ok#hang on. how many homes does the average min and max homeowner own? I would like to see data on that. but anyway#the next part of the legislation:#Homes owned >6 shall be charged X% Housing Market Shrinkage Fee UNLESS they are rented for affordable (15% or less than renter net income)#housing and are actively occupied by said renters. Rented out and charging more than 15% of renter's net? still gotta pay up.#EMPTY housing >6 shall be subject to an additional Y% Housing Market Shrinkage Fee (tax? should I call it a tax?) which increases with ever#month that the housing goes unoccupied. no one living in it? sell it rent it or pay the fuck up. and still pay the fuck up if you rent it#for way too goddamn much money#but like. less. we only REALLY hate you if you sit on empty houses that you don't even let anyone use#ok that's individuals. now onto BUSINESSES#ok so immediately it gets a little complicated cuz like presumably there's rental management businesses that don't own the rental propertie#that they manage BUT there are also companies that just outright own a shitfuckton of housing and THIS is the truly egregious monstrous sid
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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the MW fandom so bad on Twitter that fuckin. jimcurly shippers say their ship is ok cause “they deserve each other” but then think youre a terrible person for suggesting that anya and curly like. cared about each other deeply and fucked up. i hope this fandom dies soon dear lord.
Jesus Christtttt I hope the yaoiheads die forever. Like. What the hell is it with people wanting to ignore everything there is to be said about Curly and Anya's complicated ass relationship in favor of painting Curly as a cartoonishly bad person and Anya as someone who didn't volunteer to take care of him in fucking terrible condition Despite Everything. There's so fucking much to say about Anya and Curly as people who were hurt by the same person and watched the other be hurt by the same person and ended up stuck together at rock fucking bottom in that nurse's room but nobody wants to talk about that because there's "good" abuse victims and "bad" abuse victims and they can't have any attachment to each other even if they do in text despite ultimately failing the other because uhhhh no they didn't. I fucking guess.
#asks#anon#like the recurring pattern of people ignoring Anya's stated feelings about shit in text presumably for “her own good” or whatever makes me#fucking lividddddd like why can't you fucking let her have complicated feelings about things why do you boil her down to an angry girlboss#to live out your own fantasies through like you're killing her fucking agency even outside of the game Jesusssss. and the way people are#about shipping Jimmy and Curly is like. insane. “they deserve each other” even before the crash that was textbook emotional abuse. doesn't#excuse shit but it's fucking important context I think. also the fucking feast scene has always read as like. a parallel to sa to me.#forcing something down his throat when he can't do anything about it plus the whole “someday he'll thank me” shit like that was cannibalism#as an act of violation. before it blew up in his face Curly was blind to Jimmy's shit but it was all Anya could see. like there's so much to#say about Anya and Curly in terms of narrative as well as how they actually were about each other but those conversations get immediately#shut down with just “Curly was an enabler” because nobody likes to entertain the idea that there's an actual person behind the mistakes.#and that's the fucking thing about mouthwashing! at the end of the day they're all just people! but nobody wants to accept that! they just#want them to be the victim the guy we dont talk about the innocent one the dad and the stupid fuck who let it happen. & it makes me violent.#anyway.
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Oh now the villagers know..... and arlong burned the town to punish her..... for some reason
#WHY DID THEY PUT THE VILLAGE GOING AFTER ARLONG AFTER NAMI HURTS HERSELF???? HUH???#also the concept of money being important is lost... arlong wants money too thats why he does certain things... and it contrasts#with namis want for money which is for survival.... but alas...#i wont let you do that 🥺🥺 AHDKAHSKSJKQ#nami doesnt decide what people do thats why she was stabbing herself... and why she controls herself... literally let herself be taken....#also nami just being there to do fuck all cause she isn't fighting..... and that is alright do they know that.....#johnny and josuke....... miss you.... also luffy not wanting a cook on his crew ever since they ran out of food akdjsksj#why did they focus on the fishman racism is what i dont understand. whats the point. this story is not about that.... we get that later lmao#'everyone should be free to live as they choose' SHUT UUUUUUUP!!!!#like he didnt get nami as a slave bc shes a human.... and hes not playing by human rules he found a loophole in their pact ajdhaksjs#and the could you use her so effectively doesnt hit without luffy saying he doesnt know how to do anything and all that....#luffy should be saying like 50% of what he says.... he says fuck all all the time#and why does sanji care about luffy literally what did he do for him....#usopp gets fuck all.... he literally cries and throws up on this fight... why did they skip thag#'zeff was mean to you... boohoo' TELL HIM ZORO!!!!#sanji fueled by love for nami yeah.... but he looks so ridiculous fighting with that suit ajdhakshsjs#also such a shame he hasnt been crushed dramatically.... how would usopp now if he is alright or not#no sun shining behind luffy as he comes out of the rubble like he is the second comong of jesus christ.... 0 stars#the fact that it took them nothing to beat them is kinda shit. like zoro gets wrecked and sanji nearly drowns... luffy gets also wrecked...#and no usopp songs back to back til sunrise.... tragic#usopp getting rewarded for what... he wasnt even scared#YEAH GARP PUNCH HIM!!!! COME ON!!! WHO DARES DISOBEY YOU???!!!#'i dont want to fight you grandpa' BOOOOOO TOMATO TOMATOOOOO#'you're on your own now....' HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN THATS THE POINT!! AND YOU DIDNT FUCKING HELP WITH THAT!!!! we are just saying things now....#'i know what it means to fight for your family' whejdja??? whats that supposed to mean??? did bellemere not fight?? she literally did???#*melania trump hello???* whats this about... namis story is not about fighting for your family her mother literally dies for that ajdhajab#and why did they put a tattoo on top of the other in the manga she gets a scar from removing the arlong one and then gets the other one.....#luffy hugging koby.... he didnt hug nami then for what???#do you guys think they will cast someone really ugly as dragon...#watching opla
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i lost the post but i saw someone talking about how some of y’all act like being weird is a choice and like. YEAHHHHHHH.
that’s fine, it might be for you. but i just live like this and don’t know any other way. like yeah i’ve worked customer service, i can do innocuous small talk, but anything beyond that, i don’t understand what i’m missing. and it’s frustrating to see the tonal disconnect especially from people who are like “uwu embrace weirdness!!” where they’re like. dressing quirky and talking about bugs and listening to obscure music and eschewing small talk to ask Deep Questions on the first date and unlearning their tendency to not infodump. and generally have an idea of what Weirdness is supposed to look like. idk man some of us wake up and get out of bed and can’t figure out why the rest of their coworkers chitchat with each other but when they join the conversation it dies.
weirdness is value neutral. let’s stop trying to turn it into a badge because quite frankly, it’s not a choice for everyone. it’s fucking exhausting to never be on the same wavelength as other people and they’re going to react the way they do and label you the way they will without any conscious actions on your end. it’s difficult to talk about this without feeling like you’ll be dismissed as immature, a teenager whining “no one understands me” but the thing is. sometimes you don’t grow out of feeling alone and different, and there’s no good way to talk about it without feeling like people will think you’re just fishing for pity.
#most of it is stuff i can’t help like!!!#coworkers and i don’t share a lot of interests so i’m always like. yes i’ve heard of that show but haven’t seen it. no idk that band sorry#and they’ll like. talk shit abt other people who share my interests without realizing that i also like those things#so i just have to sit there and take it#i feel like i don’t have a lot in common with my friends even. a few shared interests but very different lives#in my experience the conscious choice has been to try to keep up with what’s popular but it’s just. not interesting to me#i got bored and forgot to finish s2 of stranger things and never picked it back up#even alt subcultures have gone kinda mainstream and i never quite slot in#let’s not even touch the gay culture ‘flags’ that are extremely online and unrelatablr#and the most frustrating thing. every time i try to talk about myself and my interests i feel people shutting down#one person i know. open mouth sighs in exasperation when i open my mouth#i don’t know why you’re making it my problem that we’re different#i know there is supposed to be a niche out there for everyone but some of that feels like#those niches are falling prey to marketability. if you’re too far out of the mainstream. too out of touch. it can’t be helped#a lot of messaging online is like. embrace weirdness but only if it’s subversive in a very specific way#too normal to hang out with self-proclaimed proud weirdos. too weird to hang out with normies#like i thought the thing was to disavow performativity. i’m sorry i don’t find the same things interesting#i don’t care about the office and you don’t care about the hundred years’ war. that’s fine. why is that seen as a personal fault of mine#i feel like some of the reaction i get might be bc it comes across as hipster shit. idk#i’m literally just oblivious and looking for any kind of indicator for social interaction#but so often it feels like the onus of finding common ground is on me. i have to listen abt things idk but no one cares what i have to say#i think what makes it more frustrating is this reaction from people who claim to not care. do their own thing#and then get annoyed when i do mine and it’s. different#instead of being like ‘fuck the mainstream! conformity is bullshit! be yourself!’ it’s like#‘fuck the mainstream because it doesn’t appeal to me personally and i’ve made my own club!’#and this is not going to come out right because i’m just at my limit and venting and don’t know how to say things the right way#so people don’t misunderstand me#i just happen to never like the Right Things and know the Right Things and act the Right Way and idk how else to say it other than#can we be more normal about weird people#idk it’s hard to talk abt this without sounding like i’m just complaining but i’m more bewildered and trying to state things as i see them
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I keep wondering if I’m having like. A normal amount of struggle with this ulcer diet situation or if I’ve tied way too much of my mental stability to Little Treats That Taste Good because like fuck. Is this supposed to be this hard or is it my problems of the brain again, idk idk
#tbf I am not always the best at eating and shit#because of the problems of the brain#but this is like. it is nightmarish. I don’t know how people live like this#it is genuinely so fucking hard and I’m so tired and grumpy all the time#and I have just Become Bitch because it’s so awful#and all I can do is whine and hope my stomach wound heals soon#another week and a half or so of the pills…#(and please let it be healed by then I want to eat good things and also not have to go to the doctor for potential tube situations pls)#text#misc#shut up nerd
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BROTHER WHAT DO YOU FUCKING MEAN RTGAME WAS IN A FUCKING MCC WITH TECHNOBLADE I THOUGHT HE WAS A FUNNY HAHA VARIETY STREAMER WHO DID MINECRAFT COMMUNITY BUILD STREAMS I WAS ALREADY BLOWN TO SMITHEREENS SEEING HIS ASS IN AN MCC WITH FUCKING JAMES MARIOTT AND JACK MANIFOLD SMACK IN THE MIDDLE OF A PERSONA 5 VOD NOW YOU'RE TELLING ME HIS ASS PLAYED THE FUCKING THIRD EVER MCC ON THE SAME TEAM AS FUCKING TECHNOBLADE WHAT DO YOU MEAN HOW IS HE EVERYWHERE I DON'T UNDERSTAND
#YOU'RE LETTING THE FUNNY IRISH GUY BECOME TOO POWERFUL#FUCK HE WAS TOO POWERFUL LONG BEFORE I KNEW HIS NAME#AND BY LONG I MEAN ABOUT THREE MONTHS#also there's another guy who i'm less than thrilled about on that team but i may stomach his bullshit just to see even a little bit#you are fucking KIDDING though I THOUGHT RT AND THE OTHER DUDE WAS A CRACKSHIP#YOU'RE TELLING ME THEY'VE ACTUALLY SPOKEN#my sibling was fucking flavbergasted when i was like 'OH SO THAT'S WHY PEOPLE SHIP THEM'#(to be clear this is not rt and techno it's some other guy on that team)#LMFAO THE TRIVIA ABOUT THE DRIFT KING IS ON HIS MCC WIKI PAGE GOD OF COURSE#LONG LIVE THE DRIFT KING LMFAOOOOO#WHY WAS HE ON A TEAM WITH SAP NAP#FUNNY IRISH MAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE???????????#HE PLAYED WITH FUCKING TOMMYINNIT. BROTHER HE PLAYED WITH GIZZYGAZA THAT GUY'S OG#FUNNY IRISH MAN HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET HERE#WHAT IS HAPPENINGGGGGG WHY ARE YOU EVERYWHERE#shut up vic
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The Hearts of Darkness crew from my earth, btw.
#francine castle#fran castle#the punisher#logan howlett#Wolverine#danny ketch#ghost rider#Lucy#E-1815141425#ron’s art tag#shut in the fuck up ron#they actually go across America to follow Blackheart to beat his ass in this earth#and they take Lucy because Logan’s attached and fran….doesn’t wanna leave her with the cops…..#“SHE DOESN’T KNOW YOU PEOPLE. COME ON SWEETHEART. LET’S GO.”#also Logan’s Inuit in this earth!!!#idk I just….liked the idea…and want an excuse to ask questions….:)#Danny’s half Mexican [he doesn’t know this and does not find out until years later but it’s on his father’s side]#and Francine is a trans lady#because I just…wanted to.#I thought trans lady punisher would be cool as fuck and I was right#Logan’s also trans!!!#they’re best friends actually#but like they make each other so fucking mad here 😭😭😭#he knows her deepest darkest secrets and vise versa they can ruin each other’s lives#😭😭😭#oh Fran’s fucked up haircut is micro’s fault btw#he convinced her he could cut it for her and….she just couldn’t give enough of a fuck. there are missions to be had. 😭
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if i have to see one more post about disney from people who don't work here or at least live in the area i'm gonna lose it
#saw a post that was talking about how disney doesn't actually care about queer people#and while like. yeah. i mean. i guess sorta that's true? but also they do pay for trans healthcare#for employees. btw. no other employer i've ever had has explicitly covered that in my insurance#also working here has EASILY been the job where i feel the most comfortable being trans since i came out#and where i get misgendered the least. it still happens and it's been an issue but like#overall it's better here. disney also lets me use my preferred name on everything#universal did not do that btw at universal i was forced to display my deadname to everyone at my location#so it's not as black and white as 'disney hates queer people' and i'm not trying to be a bootlicker i'm just stating these facts#that people probably don't know? at least people don't seem to know this?#but it's easily the most supportive work environment i've ever been in#and yeah a LOT of that depends on location and leadership and other things. i have trans coworkers who have struggled more than i have#but like. overall. i don't think people realize that it's actually a pretty halfway decent place to work#and yeah there's some HUGE issues but it's an oversimplification to say that it's just The worst and should be burned down etc.#and it's like yeah i KNOW it's the bare minimum but it's still more than i've gotten anywhere else i've worked#and yes a lot of it is also due to the union's hard work here and not the company itself but still#the fact that the people making posts like that clearly do not actually live here or know anything about how things work here#i'm just like. please shut up you don't even know what you're talking about#this post i saw earlier had people in the replies STILL spouting the 'disney will just pack up and leave lol and then where will the florid#economy be?' and they sound so fucking stupid like what the everloving fuck do you mean move somewhere else#people think it's a little theme park as if it's not the literal size of san francisco???#anyway i'm just in general begging people online to shut up about things they don't know shit about.#like. you don't have to have an opinion on everything. you can just. shut up.#anyway that's my ranty tags post for the day bye#win rambles
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#also like i was a kid. i was by definition the smaller person. letting other people abuse you without ever being held accountable#isn't a noble thing#nate postlethwait#actually ptsd#actually cptsd#actually traumatized#living with cptsd#living with ptsd#i would like to amend my first tag. nobody 'allows' themselves to be abused#what i meant was more like#expecting survivors to never hold abusers accountable isn't a noble thing. pressuring survivors into shutting up and staying small#for the sake of the abuser's feelings or comfort or convenience is just enforcing the abuse and retraumatizing the survivor#just like expecting the survivor to jUsT fOrGiVe#that whole fOrGiVeNeSs Is FoR yOu shit is so fucking stupid. no the fuck it's not! it's just so everyone can go on ignoring what's happening
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Just absolutely incredible how bad YiiKs writing is
#We need to find this record guys.....im not gonna you know...read it to find out who made it or when its coming out until weve been#Searching for it for like 3 days or something#Also establishes a character as living in a bad part of town but also having a lawyer mom and a dude who works for the governor as parents?#Thats just...not...really the people living in poorer neighborhoods guys...#Also yeah lets shut up a character who voices her complaints about true crime when her brother literally went missing and shes traumatized#By it because obviously!!!!! But then have an entire off topic conversation about anime for like 5 minutes real time#And thats just like...the tip of the sexist and racist writing in this fucking game
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