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prorevenge · 4 years ago

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Bridezilla Karen ends up looking like a pauper at her own wedding.

I (F48) have known “Pat” (F48) for decades. As far as I can remember, she was fixated on having 5 children and a picket fence dream life. I slowly cut ties with her in college because she was an opportunist and I didn’t trust her. She is both manipulative and forceful. Her idea of cute rubs me the wrong way. Pat likes to walk like a penguin when she wants to elicit pity, and she usually does this when she wants to evoke the underdog narrative. I’ve never seen someone act so despicable and ridiculous at the same time.

I moved on with my life. Happily got rid of her for years. Pat eventually found me on facebook. I accepted her friend request out of politeness.

Pat has become the epitome of a permissive mother. Her (5) kids do as they please and she never calls them out. She tried to force a relationship between me and her daughters and made them call me Auntie. Pat tried to drop them at my house uninvited. Her phone calls were insistent, she tried to monopolize my time and she began to show up at my job. I created some boundaries so she tried to find loopholes. It was a nightmare.

My husband and I hosted a party for the community center (not the real name) new members. The community center is actually a very informal initiative and my husband and I mainly serve the homeless population. We prefer to help strangers instead of catering to potentially narcissistic acquaintances. We don't mind lending a hand but we have encountered truly dishonest choosing beggars.

There are other services, like one of the members who helps women get their wedding and prom dresses for free.The community center location “headquarters” is actually a farm owned by an elderly couple. There is a barn, a venue and a very nice green field with an artificial lake and some fowl. They charge for the use of their facilities (weddings , etc.) but not for community oriented stuff.

Pat had always been salty at her husband for demanding that she go back to work after baby #3. In the meantime, he worked three jobs. She demanded he get her pregnant to fulfill her dream of having 5 kids. He didn’t agree, because he was already nearly 45 and felt like he might never be able to retire. She got away with bringing new babies into this world anyway. Her fascination with being pregnant comes from all the attention she gets. She had at least one miscarriage in between each kid.

Pat latched on to our group. She never missed any of our activities. I hated having her in my house, but it was an open invitation that included virtually everyone and she was very active as an event organizer. I didn’t like the way her kids behaved. We have a designated area for parties and entertainment, but her kids ended up inside my bedroom. We ended up having to keep watch of them and enjoyed zero of our own party.

I called her days later to get my point across (regarding their overall behavior) but she completely cut me off and began talking about herself and said her kids wanted to come visit again and use our pool. I never answered that. I didn't want to say “no, I will not have your brats over”.

She also called me as summer was approaching specifically to let me know her middle daughter was bored and wanted to spend a WEEK at our home. I politely declined, citing that me and my husband have to work and cannot entertain guests. .

Pat paid no heed. Her kid called me on the weekend,calling me “auntie” and attempted to coax me by saying “Mom says you invited me to spend SUMMER with you”. I quickly clarified, and offered an explanation to avoid hurting a kid’s self esteem. Nevermind. Her daughter just hung up on me.

Pat’s facebook also showed some red flags. Some cryptic rants here and there were visible, along with friends’ comments and complaints on how she asked a particular person to watch her kids only for a couple of hours and ended up leaving them all day. Another of her friends criticized her “girls night out “ because Pat had just asked them to be patient and wait until she could pay back some money that she owed them, yet she had money to spend on Friday night outings. I thought those very public comments on private matters were more like a cry of lost patience.

Unpleasant things began to happen. Like the time she volunteered to wrap the Xmas presents for underprivileged kids. We all wanted to create a mix of less costly gifts with really nice ones. Surprisingly, some nice and eye-catching toys and games went missing but turned up under her Christmas Tree (courtesy of her mother in law’s FB posts). No one could prove anything but it was hate-inducing. Or the time my daughter called me in tears to pick her up after she attended Pat’s daughter’s birthday (Casey). My daughter had been ignored all night because she didn’t gift her the expensive gaming stuff Casey practically demanded. My daughter did ask, but I said no. We would buy her a very nice and thoughtful present according to her taste. So when I went to pick her up my daughter was sitting alone in the living room while Casey and her friends stayed outside.

Stories about Pat and her family multiplied. The owners at the farm (community center) decided keep their their gates locked unless they had guests or events because Pat got in the habit of driving in whenever she pleased and it was either her kids screaming and disturbing on-going weddings, throwing rocks at the koi in the lake or harassing the geese in the yard. Or how she stiffed another soccer mom with the lunch bill and then pulled the struggling financially card. Or how other parents hated her because she created unnecessary hostile competition.

When my daughter turned 13, I allowed her to wear my grandma’s ring. It's not an expensive piece of jewelry, but it's vintage and girls nowadays wanna look boho. My Granny gave it to me when I became a teenager so I passed it on to my kid so she could wear it on her birthweek.

It was weird that she became quiet and distracted after that. She also didn’t want to go to school and my husband and I became suspicious. She never opened up, and my other kids had no clue.

We went to her school but her teachers assured us nothing had changed in her environment. My husband and I suspected she was being bullied but our kid gave us no tools to support her. My kid is very sunny, and very compassionate. She has never had any problems with other kids. I called her best friend’s mom. Natalie, my kid’s BFF, told us what was going on. Casey (Pat’s eldest) and my daughter had become “close”. I knew this and wasn’t too thrilled. I found the age (Casey was 17) gap not exactly inappropriate but I’d rather see my daughter spend time with friends in the same age range. Casey is very beautiful and a gifted student. She is also very conceited. To make this story short, she asked my daughter if she could try on the ring and refused to give it back. She later claimed that she lost it but “would look for it” so my daughter was distraught. My daughter kept asking for her ring and as a result, Casey shunned her and spread the word that my kid was trying to steal HER ring. Some kids at school took Casey’s side. So now Casey just wore my kid’s jewelry to school like nothing happened. If that doesn’t qualify as taunting I don't know what does.

My guilt comes from not being able to get my daughter to open up and feel safe telling me the truth. I talked to her and she burst into tears. I was both pained as a mother and furious that some teenage b!tch was doing this under our noses.

I went straight to Pat’s car after school. I asked to talk as Casey was about to go in. So I grabbed Casey’s hand and asked to see her jewelry. Casey froze and she tried to make a fist, so I became relentless. Casey yelled “Mom!” and Pat struggled to get out of the car. I slid the ring off (Casey has tiny hands and wore the ring on her index finger). First Pat yelled at me. After I confronted her with the engraving on the band (my grandma's maiden name), she argued it was loaned to her daughter by my kid. Then she said she bought it. I paid no heed. I did warn them that I knew Casey had become an abusive friend to my daughter.

Pat called me to tell me off. She said she was trying to raise an assertive young woman and I had just messed that up by being “overbearing”. She never apologized for her thief of a child.

Pat's husband ( Hank) is what can be described as a doormat. Pat wore him down to a knob. He had no choice but to “obey” her to keep the peace. She was a bully who actively withdrew affection when he didn’t follow her wishes, even in public. So she got kids #4 and #5 after a relentless campaign that included leaving him for two months. Her pregnancies were a nuisance because she expected to be treated like the only lady who has even been pregnant. She strolled around in a wheelchair almost immediately after getting pregnant and she would “get very sick” on weekends, so her kids were often sent to friends and family so that she could “rest”.

Pat systematically bullied Hank. She would leave town and take the kids with her. Poor Hank would look distraught, drinking on his porch or just looking really lonely. This is how she got off the hook and was able to leave her job. Hank had virtually no voice, so he struggled to keep the marriage together. Everyone liked him, but hated her equally. Hank loved to talk to other people but seemed concerned that Pat would be upset. Over time, according to my husband, Hank began to show signs of depression and mental distress.

Our friend, Lenah, runs the wedding/prom dress initiative. It's not complicated. Dresses are sourced from donations, ebay, trunk shows, etc. Unusually beautiful dresses are retained so that more than one bride gets to wear them. In some cases, a bride will pay 50 bucks, but most of the time, the dresses are donated to the bride.

Pat was involved in this. Lenah kept her in because they never had any issues and her task was limited to just shipping the dresses out.

Pat decided to renew her vows and her bridezilla Karenzilla attitude became the icing on the cake. For starters, she bullied another couple into giving up their wedding date at the farm because she “needed her renewal to match her exact wedding date”. They were not impressed with her harassment, so they booked another venue. As a result, the farm owners were pissed because Pat was already costing them money after she had successfully negotiated a cut in their rate “because she couldn't afford it but will repay by doing maintenance work around the venue” (she never made good on her word).

Pat became attached to a particular dress that was already assigned to another bride. Lenah made it clear that she would need to pay for her own dress. So Pat played it cool and shipped the wrong gown instead. She was adamant that it was the right dress, despite all the notes on Leah’s agenda. The other bride was truly gracious about it. She was obviously disappointed, but never made a scene.

What bothered me most is that I picked that dress and bought it for 40 bucks at a garage sale (not my money, Leah’s money). It was a vintage dress, ankle length, white with lots of lace and a huge bargain. Again, when confronted, Pat “did a Casey” and used the “this is mine” strategy. We felt so bad for the other bride that we did our best to get her something nice to wear. The other bride was a true fighter, she had pulled out of welfare, earned her high school diploma and was working to get on her feet by trying to earn a certificate as an acrylic nail technician. So, her reward was to have some Karen steal her dress? Pat never admitted to messing up, but just by the fact that she claimed it was her dress, we knew.

Lenah never allowed her in her warehouse again. Their last phone fight ended with Pat bringing up the other bride’s past (like it mattered) and “this conversation is over, it's my dress and you are mistaken”. That was weeks before the other bride’s wedding.

Pat went all out on her wedding decor. She spent way too much. She hired a caterer for some food (mainly mimosas and appetizers), but the wedding invitation included a request for specific dishes for her Sunday brunch wedding. Either she ran out of banquet money or was on a complete moocher mode.I picture the penguin walking upon practically asking everyone to supply her wedding reception grub and I cringe.

There is nothing wrong with potluck weddings. In fact, they can be a nice addition to a very cozy and family oriented wedding reception. But, don’t you need to at least be close to your guests in order to ask for such a thing? Even I got an invitation. I told everyone I wasn’t going because I was very uncomfortable being told what to bring and was probably expected to give them a cash gift on top of that. Some of the older ladies in our group agreed. Some said they would not decline in advance because she is a bully and they didn’t want a confrontation.

Lenah called me the night before Pat’s re-wedding. Lenah was there to close the Saturday night bingo and Pat was awfully friendly, but that’s what she does whenever things are going her way. Lenah peeked into the garment bag and saw the exact same dress while Pat was caught up supervising the wedding decoration.

The thing with Karens is that they expect everyone to suck it up, or make their dreams come true, or they simply underestimate everyone and think we are all fools.

Lenah is a very straightforward person with a “so sue me” attitude. She told me she would just ruin the dress. After all, it was hers, so she could do whatever she wanted. If Pat wanted to take legal action, and should things get ugly, she needed to prove ownership. However, the dress was the same, the marks inside the hem and the tags were the same. Even the tag numbers that were punched to identify each dress for logistics purposes matched.

Pat had the dress altered, with some extra beading and dyed to a deep cream color. But it was obviously the same garment. Lenah and I snuck in before the venue was closed for the night. All brides are allowed to stay in a small bedroom for a small charge, so that they don’t need to drive in on their wedding day. Honestly, the makeshift chapel was gorgeous, I don’t know how she paid for it but it was full of flowers and presumptuous details. I naively brought in some ink to spill on the dress, but Lenah said she wanted “something more awful, like a nasty surprise”. Ink would be too obvious and if she saw it ahead, she may be able to snag another gown from somewhere. No, the ideal thing was to have her trust the dress was fine. So Lenah locked herself in a bathroom stall and completely cut out the back panel. She patiently put it back on its hanger and zipped the bag. We left through the emergency door with the back of the dress stuffed inside Lenah's purse. I completely hate people who target and steal from anyone they (Pat and her kid) calculate to be in a weaker position.

The wedding was scheduled at 9 AM. Pat called me at 7 AM, but I ignored her calls. I picked up by 8 AM, both curious and wondering if she suspected anything. Pat was frantic.She was crying that her dress was “missing by half”. I purposely made her explain, being annoyingly dense and continually interrupting like she does, and stalling the conversation. She asked me if I could lend her my wedding dress. I said no, sorry. She then asked me if I would help her get a dress. I was satisfied to remind her that the town's bridal shops were closed on Sunday and the others that would open were almost an hour away. The farm is already almost one hour away from our town.

If Pat could get a shop to rent a dress, she would need to try the dress on, and get it steamed. Even if the dress was ready to wear, it would easily take more than two hours (roundtrip). She tried to ask me to go pick a dress (who would pay for this??). Even if a shop were open and brought her a dress, it would add to the cost. Also, these shops open at 10 or 9:30 at earliest. By time they got to her, it would be time to wrap up the wedding because she needed to clear the venue by 12:00 for the next event.

She broke down and mumbled some stupid stuff I didn't understand. So Pat hung up on me and called Lenah instead.. She asked Lenah to bring her “anything she had available”. Lenah and I ended up delivering the most outdated, moss smelling, oversized dressed. Pat’s disappointment was a mix between angry and emotional. She also tried to wear her knee length silk bridal slip as a wedding dress but it was too obvious and it really looked cheap. She tried to get her daughter to give her her own dress to wear with an open back zipper (due to fitting issues) but Casey refused, asking if she was supposed to attend the wedding naked (she got a point, plus Casey is petite).

The dress needed a petticoat to plump up the skirt, which wasn’t available. So it dragged all over the floor and Pat had to keep pulling it up. Pat walked down the aisle with one hand on her bouquet and another one grabbing her dress. The dress looked limp and weird with the arrangements of pins (they didn’t show) that caused the sleeves and neckline to pucker into messy rims. She spent the ceremony looking uncomfortable and out of place. Very few people attended but that was not part of any revenge, that was just how people reacted to her entitled attitude.

The dress looked awful. The reception portion of the wedding had all this princely decoration, a very nice cake and a bridezilla with a dress from hell. I didn’t stay, but I was told, she was so disappointed she spent her wedding sulking. There was no dance, no actual speech. She had to change into a shirt and leggings because the dress was too uncomfortable. Everyone talked about how Pat put on her flip flops and walked around aimlessly until she ordered the ushers to start folding up the chairs within one hour of the reception. So she practically kicked everyone out and the cake was never cut.

Pat wasn’t the same after this.She was not as loud and avoided everyone. I think she was disappointed that nobody ran to her rescue, not even her family who came from out of town.

Her husband finally cracked under all the pressure and sought some help. He was slaving away and coming home to clean the house while Pat used her kids as an excuse to spend like crazy. Hank also had to do kid homework because Pat never had time or never had patience. She also refused to get a partime job so her kids could attend an afterschool and get help with their school stuff. Therapy seemed to help Hank because the last time Pat left with her kids, he didn't seem distraught. He would be riding his bicycle and could be seen more relaxed while mowing his lawn. Hank told my husband that he had contemplated suicide after their third kid. When Pat returned, he maintained the routine but was interested in going out by himself and doing things for himself. We began to see Pat alone all the time. Hank was seen less and less in the same car and eventually moved in with his parents. He filed for divorce on the grounds of emotional cruelty and I don't think he won. Instead (I’m not sure of this because this is what I was told) there was some sort of a settlement or agreement that she would not get close or interact with him unless it has to do with the kids).

I also don’t know if Pat even actually suspected who/what happened to her dress. She slowly pulled away from the community center and became less active in social gatherings. Pat also removed me from her facebook as well as mostly everyone else from school and the center.

TLDR

Bridezilla stole a wedding dress from an underprivileged woman. The actual dress owner destroys her big day.

(source) story by (/u/forestcabin123k)

#prorevenge #by /u/forestcabin123k #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #last10

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isa-ghost · 5 years ago

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Achievements Unlocked?

The last decade has COMPLETELY shaped who I am now and the fact that it ends today and essentially sends me off into the next one where turning 30 is the end is something I can’t wrap my head around and not just bc it’s barely 9am as I’m writing it. Ten years hasn’t felt like ten years and all the shit that’s happened during those ten years feels like it’s happened in the last like,,, 3.

Basically this is just me going How The Fuck Did All Of This Happen In A Decade and highlighting the big things that shaped who I am now.

Uhhh this is long I’m gonna-

2010/2011 (Shit’s A Blur):

I started noticing aesthetic interests I had.

I developed my love for the outdoors and exploration.

I started realizing vaguely spooky things were really intriguing to me.

I got SUPER into Harry Potter.

Which lead to me creating my first two Ocs.

I started switching from drawing animals/landscapes to drawing people.

I made my first cluster of friends I hoped I’d have forever. (Spoiler alert: only still have one of em).

2012:

I started identifying with punk rock & emo culture/aesthetics.

I made my first cluster of online friends (Spoiler alert: don’t talk to any of em now)

I got into YouTubers.

I got into anime.

I made my first “blog.” It was a Facebook page for a fictional character.

I discovered my favorite band.

I made my first online friend I hoped I’d have forever (still have em so far!)

I met my future wife.

I started roleplaying with Ocs.

Which lead to making more.

I started drawing digitally using bases. Which started my improvement.

I made my own first little community via my FB page.

Which lead to an rp group of more friends I hoped I’d have forever (still got a handful of em!)

I discovered my other favorite bands.

I started using Skype.

I got into more anime.

My parents were officially fully separated.

Which began the very start of realizing my dad was verbally abusive.

Congrats Isa, You Need Glasses You Dumb Fuck. Hooray astigmatism.

I graduated 8th grade.

2013:

I was essentially forced to move in with my dad for high school.

I started high school.

Officially became total anime trash and started watching them like crazy.

I THINK I hit 100 Ocs at some point this year. Just kept makin them from here.

Met my first cluster of irl forever friends (spoiler alert: only have 1 now).

Learned having Ocs was Not Just An Isa Thing, Holy Shit I Thought I Was Just Weird.

Promptly fell in love with learning about other people’s Ocs.

Realized Wow, I Kinda Can’t Stand My Dad And I Don’t Trust Him.

Had my first boyfriend. *gag* He was nasty.

Experienced my first long distance relationship. It lasted 3 days.

2014/2015 (Shit’s Also Blurry):

Got another long distance boyfriend. First relationship I genuinely liked the person.

I realized talking multiple people through the lowest points of their lives and keeping them from harming themselves was a sign I should maybe get into psychology and do that as a job.

I started getting interested in researching mental disorders.

Realized Okay Yeah, I Lowkey Hate My Dad

Realized I had A Concerning Amount Of Symptoms Of Depression. Fuck.

Realized Huh, Girls Are Pretty Too,,,

My friend taught me about bi and pansexuality. Casually started identifying as pan. Didn’t know shit about LGBT+ stuff.

Was shown a video by my friend. Decided Wow I Really Like This Screaming Potato Guy.

Acquired one more forever friend I still have.

Got slapped in the face by Gravity Falls.

My mom moved out of the rural town I just spent the last like 8 Years Of My Own Character Development In, Dammit

I realized money and finances Fucking Sucks.

Had the,, probably worst year of my adolescence. Angry, depressed, sick of my dad. It was Not Great. Almost started self-harming, only didn’t because I’d be a hypocrite if I did after helping my friends stop doing it.

Homestuck invaded my life around here I think.

Decided I’m Gonna Live With My Online Friends One Day! (spoiler alert: nope).

Was kinda forced by my dad to move out of the apartment I lived in and therefore forced to transfer schools.

Got to meet my future wife irl for the first time. Wow that was,, so gay before we even realized.

Okay Hold On, This New School Is,,, Really Nice.

2016:

New school. New me. New friends. New everything. Fuckity shit fuck.

Okay wait they have an anime club like my other school did we good.

Met another two forever friends that I think really are forever friends now.

Angry Shitty Depression Time Died Down A Little.

Somehow learned about evilsonas. Huh, Does Jack Have One? ... Ok Cool, They’re All People’s Ocs. Meh.

Started learning how to drive. Oh My God This Is Fun.

Lost my second ever pet and was... very confused when I wasn’t as traumatized as I was the first time I lost a pet.

Boyfriend kinda Thanos snapped from existence bc his irl life was hectic.

Experienced what it’s like to have a friend that died.

Wow my irl best friend is hot. ... Okay I Think Boyfriend’s Absence Is Bothering Me. *proceeds to ignore that*

Gets into some more bands.

Knock Knock, You Have Separation Anxiety, Isa.

Finally decided to try out high school things like homecoming. Ooh That Was Actually Fun.

The beginning of the worst end to a friendship I’ve ever had starts. Not Handling It Well.

Discovered Fooster. Cue hyperfixation on new favorite YouTuber and more new friends.

Wait What The Fuck What Just Happened To Jack’s Camera,,,, OH MY GOD HE ISN’T-

HE IS. OH FUCK HE IS. MMMMHELLO KNIFE MAN.

Totally forgets he exists for the next like 10 months.

Realization I Really Fucking Love Halloween.

Discovered what asexuality is and immediately identifies because I thought I was just weird.

Hmm maybe I should start watching this Markiplier guy

Big Sad Times, My Friends Graduated. Next Year Gonna SUCK.

Tried out Dungeons & Dragons. Fuckin loved it.

2017:

Ah fuck I’m a senior in high school this is gonna be a trip.

Discovered I like photography.

Literally where did this school year go it’s so blurry.

Was convinced to end the relationship with boyfriend. He’s still a good bean.

Hey uhhhh online best friend do u big gay.

WE big gay.

Found a book I really like that isn’t Harry Potter, damn it’s about time.

Ok But This Book Really Fucked Me Up, I Love It.

OH FUCK WAIT I’M GRADUATING HIGH SCHOOL.

Oh that wasn’t so bad.

Actually had to be PUSHED by my friends to have my first kiss with my girlfriend at my graduation party because I was too busy going [dkasjdjf] about having her physically in my presence at all.

First super memorable vacation. Wow I Fucking Love Traveling.

Got to meet another online friend!! I am,, incredibly lucky about being able to do that, this was like the 4th friend I got to meet.

[That one motion blur conspiracy theorist meme] SABRINA IM TELLING U JACK IS UP TO SOMETHING HIS TWITTER IS FUCKY

Gets punched in the throat with Kill Jacksepticeye on the way home from vacation and remembers how much I fucking love Anti

TIME FOR COLLEGE. I made a mistake.

TIME FOR COMMUNITY COLLEGE. Much Better.

Friend I Still Have From High School 1/2 introduced me to Bendy and the Ink Machine. HYPERFIXATION TIME BABEY.

Let’s,,, lets try Tumblr. Jack exists there a lot. And so does good art of everything I’m interested in.

Wait Who’s This Baby With The Mustache, JACK EXPLAIN

Okay there’s More Going On Here, lets get active in the community.

WHY THE FUCK IS THERE SECURITY FOOTAGE. THIS IS SKETCH. THIS ISOH MOTHERFUCKER ITS ANTI

Isa: Become Theorist

The rest is history, really, all stuff I’ve posted about on here. xD

And knowing me I’ve left out other highlighted bits but remembering all of this is,,, really exhausting lmao, I’m surprised I jotted down as much as I did in Relatively Chronological Order.

#happy 2020 new year

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szopenhauer · 5 years ago

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If your ex suddenly kissed you right now, what would you do? I’m dating my ex lol What are your parents views on your relationships? my mom thinks it’s a sin because she’s religious and church is against homosexuality

If you ran into your current boyfriend/crush in 10 years, would you marry them? lmfao Is your best friend dating anyone? I’m dating my female friend and my parents are dating each other :D Describe the shirt you’re wearing? it’s pop art by Andy Warhol (campbell soup) from Pepe Jeans London that I bought in second hand in childrens’ section Could you go out in public without wearing make-up? always Would people describe you as happy? hell no Does it bother you that pretty much every survey you take asks if you’re single? that’s why I delete questions that are common

Have you ever babysat before? many times and for free, ugh... Is there a teacher who you absolutely hate? from what I remember? If your current boyfriend/crush suddenly moved away, what would you do? I could do long distance but she probably wouldn’t be able to so I guess it ends with break up If your best friend revealed she was a homosexual, what would you do? I know my partner is gay but my dad? not even bi What are your views on sex? unecessary, not for me Does it bother you when people TYpe 1yk dis’? very Do you delete pictures of you and your exes off of Facebook? yes How many friends do you have on Facebook? less than 20, I know plenty of ppl but I don’t want them on my list, I plan to delete even more as nobody talk to me anyway, why collect human beings from your past or who only write when they want smth or just say HI and send wishes during Christmas time? following that logic I could add all of my neighbors, doctors or teachers too and cashiers from local stores as well

Ever been requested by some old guy from another country? they weren’t old but more than once, especially muslim guys You’re offered free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert. What do you do? sell it or burn/trash/rip it Would you rather spend the day at an amusement park or a water park? amusement park Been to Disney world? never Ever had a boyfriend? sadly

Ever had a huge crush on someone who still doesn’t know? I’m not sure if Z.B. knew What do you think of short shorts? I don’t wear shorts Does it bother you if people swear around you? if too often/much Would you consider yourself popular and outcast or somewhere in the middle? I was the most popular outcast, so called królowa marginesu as I representatively been bullied for everyone who wasn’t liked by queen of school/class, I felt like I should protect weak as at the beginning I was only turning the other cheek (my mom thought that if I ignored and avoided enemies I’d be safe but she was wrong - I had to finally stand up for myself at least a little bit), they were kinda using me as a shield at times Ever been stabbed in the back by a close friend? sure Ever watched porn? didn’t like it Do you wake up with an alarm clock? alarm doesn’t wake me up, my parents have to Do you prefer Wednesdays or Thursdays? Thursdays Ever performed in a talent show? yeah which was stupid of me as I have no talent whatsoever Have you ever cried in public? yup How many celebrity crushes have you had? didn’t count as they were minor anyway, tried to make a list before and maybe I will do that again sometime How many non-celebrity crushes have you had? more but 90% of them weren’t anything deep, I might also write them down Ever been compared to a celebrity? movie/show characters likely Have any embarrassing pictures on Facebook? I’m embarassing in general so it’s not hard to post such pics Do you think spending 20$ on lipstick is a waste of money? absolutely :o Are you opinionated? I consider myself What’s the longest period of time you’ve been away from school? as in a way of being ill or graduating? because if first then about a month and if second then over 5 years Does it bother you when people have cats as their profile picture? I had one myself in the past, why not? Do you text in class? basically never Ever seen a therapist? had few, it doesn’t help Ever purposely ignored a text/fb message? obvi A friend request? that happened indeed Do you have a “fun friend?” (A friend who you have tons of fun with but you never really have deep conversations?) we have both fun and deep conversations Ever been called a bully? I was a victim Ever purposely hurt yourself? yes If you turned out exactly like your mom would you be pleased? noooo Let me guess… You have brown hair? you guessed right!

Are you Cute or Gross? either :P Would it bother you if you found out that your mother was pregnant? she’s too old Do you edit your profile pictures before posting them? nah Does it bother you when Surveys ask “Did you like this survey?” I never answer that What is one thing someone could say to you right now that would make you cry? ...

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volgotha · 5 years ago

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Holy shit I just read your text post I'm so sorry! How are people so easily sold on bullshit??? What happened that lead up to all that?

Okay, strap yourself in. I’m only typing this mess up once more and then I’m never mentioning it again as long as I live. I’m not going to tag it with anything relevant either so once its posted, i’m letting it get lost in the sea of reblogs. Here we go, warning; this is gon be long.

In 2006 I went to college. From 2006 to 2009 I hung out with 5 friends and my bf at the time, Andre. It was in 2007 that we started to poke our heads into the 2C11 room (the clubspace room). Matt and his best friend Jogn Carlo started coming with us to Rocky Horror, a thing only myself and two of my 5 friends would do together, along with ppl they knew from their old highschool. By 2009, we had formed a big gang of friends from the clubspace, and we all started going to movies and sushi together. One of my friends organize panels for Otakuthon, where we’d all meet up.

But in 2009, two of the 5 ppl I hung out with had a falling out. They stopped being friends. One went to university, the other was around for one more year then she went to university in 2010. That’s when the old group began to change from a family to a clique: In 2010 new members joined the club, and became new staples in the old group–most importantly, a guy named Tin.

It used to feel like a big family, but when the new semester started in September 2010 and new members flooded the club, everything changed. Tin instantly gave me a strange feeling in my gut, like there was something off abt him I couldn’t articulate. Shannon was dating Alex, the then club president, who stepped down in disgrace after I and one of those 5 friends went to the student union to complain abt him being the Harvey Weinstein of the club,. He wanted to permanently ban her from the club bc that summer when he was making a shitty youtube movie, he asked her out and she said no. The only reason he stepped down is bc I helped her take it to the student union and took him down. So when 2010 came along, Tin swooped in and became Alex 2.0, and when I warned ppl abt him they didn’t listen.

Fast forward a year to 2011, and the shitstorm happens; My mom had bvee battling with cancer since 2009. She had a hysterectomy but it didn’t work, and the cancer came back with a vengance.

January 15th 2011: My mom comes into my room and tells me her doctor doesn’t give her 1 year left to live. A few minutes after she leaves my room, Tin talks to me on Steam. He starts trolling me, I exploded on him. I felt bad about it so I tried to apologise to him, and I wrote on my facebook wall a message: “Just found out my mom has a year left to live, not in my right head, plz stay away from me for a while” so i wouldn’t explode on anyone else. I said I tried to apologise to Tin on steam, because him being an abujsive sociopath, instead of just accepting the apology or not like a normal person, instead he starts demanding that i admit to being a shitdisturber. I ignore him at that point, tell him im sorry, wish him good night and then sign off steam, and go to bed.

The following day, Shannon heads me off as I’m in the 2C11 hallway heading to the clubspace room; she warns me that Kelly is having a shit fit and screaming about how much of a horrible person I am, that apparently Kelly thinks my facebook post is me using my mom as an excuse to get away with being a bitch. I run to confront her, because excuse me, no it fucking wasn’t yknow? and whatever trauma she hasn;’t resolved yet doesn’t give her the right to twist my meanings and paint me as a monster. Thats when she goes into the Oliver’s caf so I follow her, and she screams at me calls me pathetic and heads back into the clubspace, and everyone followed her and left me in the caf crying with Shannon and Alex. :/

The situation was made ten times worse later that night by a certain person named Mathew, remember him? He was supposed to be my friend. Instead, he took the opportunity to write a huge post on fb tearing me down, on which everyone else joined in taking a public jab at me. Matt was seen as the community leader at the time. He could have used his power to calm the situation down, instead he made things worse. To this day, I suspect that troll Tin is the one who twisted my words to trigger Kelly and cause all of this, and that he also had Matt in the palm of his hand, but i digress; Matt’s post convinced most of them to ditch me. That devastated me in an already overwhelmed state, and I attempted suicide a few nights later.

That summer, I saw that my former friends were all having a big party, “What Killed the Dinosaurs? The Bad Movie Night.”, and I wasn’t invited. Shannon saw how much it hurt me, so she invited to her bf’s party instead, and that’s where I met Paul.

The following school year of 2011-2012 went by without much incident. The people who had ghosted me slowly added me back, Matt even apologized for his shit, and things seemed to be on the up and up. It looked like all this drama was behind us. I was wrong.

After I graduated, I decided to go visit the club in Fall 2012. Big mistake.

I saw someone I knew, Sarah, crying on someone’s lap, and asked her what was up. She told me she was in an abusive relationship with Tin. For giving her the advice to leave him, Tin came at me on steam again, and I told him that he was an abuser, that he would not intimidate me and to go fuck himself, and I blocked him. Suddenly, Matt was trying to extort 100$ from me for 2 locks I had broken the year before, which should’ve only cost 42$. Where did that come from? Well, Tin was the club’s Treasurer that year. He was trying to get back at me for standing up to him and helping his victim escape, and he was doing it through Matt, who was going apeshit on me on MSN for refusing to pay 100$. I insisted I should only have to pay what I owe, which was 42$. He kept freaking out on me, so finally I threatened to get a lawyer involved, and that’s when he backed down. I still paid the money I owed for the locks I had broken but I blocked Matt, having had enough of his bullshit, and that’s when suddenly a bunch of ppl from the group ghosted me for good.

Why was I ghosted when Matt was clearly the one in the wrong? Because Tin. They ghosted me bc Tin told them to. Tin and Matt told them all sorts of shitty things about me and they believed them. They don’t hold Tin or Matt to any of their shitty actions though bc they don’t want the same abuse that happened to me to happen to them. They turn a blind eye to every shitty thing Tin and Matt do. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand there’s an extremely toxic abuse dynamic at play in that group.

But the story doesn’t end there. Remember that party I went to with Shannon, and that guy I met named Paul? From november 2011 to march 2015 we were together. I was isolated from whoever was left, only hung out with him and his friends. In 2014, I became close friends with a girl name d Ariel, a member of that old groiup who ghosted me. But that was probably a manufactured relationship manipulated into existance by Paul, so he could jump to her when he was done with me.

Paul was extremely abusive when no one was around. The night he left, we had a huge fight. I tried to escape the situation by running upstairs. He chased me and when I ran into my TV room and closed the door behind me, he started pounding on it and trying to push his way in. When he did manage to get through the door, I panicked, picked up a glass bottle and threw it at him, and then slammed the door again when he backed out. The bottle broke, and cut his finger very deep. He used that cut to get everyone present during the situation on his side. Nevermind all the crazy abusive stuff he had just pulled in front of them, no, I was the bad guy, and once he had them convinced, he left to my then bff’s house, who later became his new gf.

He posted a picture of the wound on facebook, and because of that and previous drama from years ago that never really went away, most of the friends I had left from Dawson believed him, and ghosted me. I couldn’t tell them that a week earlier he had raped me, and that’s why I was scared enough to throw that glass bottle at him.I filed a police report, I warned everyone who would listen to me about him, and I warned her. I did all I could.

I was too scared to tell this story for such a long time, because if asking for understanding while my mom was dying was twisted into me using my mom as an excuse to get away with being a bitch, then asking for understanding for the outbursts I had after being raped would just be twisted into me using my rape as an excuse to get away with being a bitch. I couldn’t handle the idea of my rape being trivialized as just some excuse–and Mathew is in part responsible for it all, because of that fucking post he made publicly tearing me down. Had he not posted that, I would’ve never lost my support system, I would’ve never gone to that party with Shannon, and I would’ve never been raped.

So I spent the better parts of 2016-2018 telling those involved off for their part in my current situation and blocked them, and the rest rebuilding what I had back in 2009, with resounding success.

So, there you have it. That’s what happened. Fuuuuuuuucking insane isn’t it. Its over now, none of them can hurt me anymore and Ive once again surrounded myself with friends I can actually trust, so everything’s good now. I still have my low days bc this was yknow, a lot, but I’m doing much, muuuuch better now.

#T-Abyss

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minimonojoon · 7 years ago

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so i was tagged by @kyut-tea (thanks, thanks a lot <3333 i love these games dfkjndgkjdn so much fun dfjgndf) and also made a banner (kyu you inspired me!). i’m tagging @94hixtape , @sleeepysugaa , @wildbeest55, @lady-shurley if you want to do it of course!! if you don’t want to, that’s completely fine <3

last

- drink: water

- call: 4 missed calls from my dad lmao

- text: a friend on our gc where she showed me her cat (so cute dkgjndf)

- song u listened to: thunderclouds by labyrinth, sia and diplo (my current obsession bye)

- time u cried: this afternoon after a fight w my mom but couldn’t relish all the tears lmao

have u ever

- dated someone twice: nope

- kissed someone & regretted it: no

- been cheated on: no

- lost someone special: yes

- been depressed: yes lmao i am right now, but trying to figure things out

- gotten drunk & thrown up: yes but let’s say i tried to threw up to feel better but didn’t succeed lol

favorite colors

1. all pastel colors, no matter what

2. warm colors

3. ok yes basically I love all the bright colors ok

in the last year have u

- made any new friends: yes!!

- fallen out of love: nope

- laughed so hard that u cried: oh yes fjgfd

- found out someone was talking abt u: no

- found out who ur friends were: meaning the ones who stick with u no matter what? well yeah

- kissed someone on ur fb friends list: ahah no

general

- how many ppl from ur fb friends do u know irl: most of them?? I only have ppl I know irl there

- do u have any pets: not right now

- do u want to change ur name: no, not really

- what did u do for ur birthday last year: last year was pretty chill, i went out with some friends in our favorite Korean restaurant and then we bought some useless shit in tiger; dfjkgndf sorry but this year was amazing bc I like had three birthday parties in a span of a week and couldn’t be happier, one of the three was a surprise birthday party and my non kpop friends blasted bts for me :’)

- what were u doing last night at midnight: I was watching just between lovers before miserably falling asleep lol

- what time did u wake up today: 8.07 am

- what is something u can’t wait for: get back w my friends, graduate, to move abroad (japan or australia lmao), to lose all the weight I need to, to finally be able to be happy and peaceful with myself

- have u ever talked to a person named tom: uhmmmmmm no

- something that gets on ur nerves: definitely being ignored/not listened when i’m trying to talk directly to you

- most visited website: tumblr, twitter, wordreference lmao

- hair color: brown

- short hair or long hair: short (or medium long lmao)

- do u have a crush on someone: raw nerve djkgdnf but yes

- what do u like abt urself: my eyes and being honest w others lmao

- want any piercings: no, i don’t particularly like them

- blood type: zero negative

- nicknames: let’s say on tumblr my nickname is liz

- relationship status: single

- zodiac sign: taurus

- pronouns: she/her

- fave tv shows: the 100, games of thrones, the good place, basically all the good historians tv shows and comedies along the way lmao

- tattoos: I don’t have one yet, but be sure I already have three I want to be tattoed on my skin eheh

- right handed or left handed: right handed

- ever had surgery: no

- sport: when I was younger my mom always convinced me into doing some sports, I did swimming, gym activities and idk like running and other stuff, but always left then I did dance and now I’m a runner (and I love it!!)

- vacation: everywhere, where there’s something to visit, to discover, to know about that I didn’t before. definitely best place so far visited was netherlands

- trainers: I want a new pair of shoes for running but I have to wait until December for them sob

more general:

- eating: nothing, i fucked up my diet (again) today bc first me and my family went to the beach and eat watermelon then decided at 3 pm that typical southern italian food (which is not light lol) was the best choice for a late lunch ajfknsdfj

- drinking: water

- i’m about to watch: nothing right now, but surely just between lovers or some anime late in the evening

- waiting for: losing all the weight I need to, be self-confident, be happy, to find inspiration again, see my friends

- want: read above lmao plus exercising and finish writing all my wips and post something I (might) slightly like instead of getting angry with myself and quit everything bc it’s bullshit badly written, but also (this stupid but whatever) talk to ppl here and struggle together for anythink, being bts related or writing

- get married: if it happens, yes. marriage isn’t easy and strong and healthy relationships require patience and willpower (and lots of other things), but I’m willing to do it for the right person.

- career: i’m already struggling right now, i still don’t know what i want to do and that’s making me nervous for when i’ll have to choose my master degree but I JUST WANT A COOL JOB AND MAKE MONEY

which is better:

- hugs or kisses: both, but only from people i really feel comfortable with

- lips or eyes: eyes, if it’s kim seokjin also lips

- shorter or taller: both :’)

- older or younger: don’t care

- nice arms or stomach: idk??

- hookup or relationship: i’m too shy and socially awkward to have a hookup w someone, so…

- troublemaker or hesitant: dkjgnd forever hesitant

have you ever:

- kissed a stranger: HAHAHAHAH nice one but no

- drank hard liquor: yes

- lost glasses: not yet (…)

- turned someone down: yes

- sex on first date: no (and i don’t want to)

- broken someone’s heart: no

- had your heart broken: yes

- been arrested: no

- cried when someone died: yes

- fallen for a friend: uhm, no, not really

do you believe in:

- yourself: working on it, but currently… big fat no

- miracles: yes!

- love at first sight: i can believe you like someone at first sight for their appearance, but love?? nah

- santa claus: wish i still believe in him :(

- kiss on first date: yes and no? idk, depends on how long you know the person you date

- angels: idk, but if they do probably mine is currently having a break down and any other laughing bc of what i do lmao

other:

- best friend’s name: i’ll say in my native language corresponds to the english daisy (yup, the flower)

- eye colour: brown

- fave movie: harry potter series, back to the future (only the first not the saga!!), the holiday, Dunkirk (I loved that movie), basically any historian well made movie, batman trilogy (directed by Christopher Nolan), marvel movies

- fave actor: BOB MORLEY OWNS MY HEART, also ELIZA TAYLOR my babe, but also Christian Bale, Hugh Jackman and idk, no other name came to my mind

#tag game #omg kyu thank you so much I WAS WAITING FOR THIS SINCE I JOINED TUMBLR DGJKDNFGKJDFN #i love asking game they're so fun skjgndkgjdn #also i'll tag random people bc i literally have only mutuals i don't talk to here except for two ppl #liz chitchat #ask game

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overlyzealousegg · 7 years ago

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Recently someone I know on shared a video on facebook of some woman, who I promise is not qualified to be talking about ADHD, saying it wasn’t real and I forced myself to watch the whole thing and it was filled with ignorance and misinformation and I was fucking pissed off, which usually is what fuels my long ranty posts on my fb. Anyway I made a list of things I go through because I was so mad. ANYWAY HERES MY LIST.

Know what having ADHD is like?

-It's interrupting people all day because your brain can't sit on something for too long bc it'll forget and you have literally no control over it. -It's having to ask someone to repeat what they said eight times only to slowly have to piece it together an hour (or days) later. -It's reading something over and over wondering if you're not understanding or if its really that weird of a sentence. -It's talking when you have nothing to say and wishing to the adhd gods above that they'll finally let you shut up. -it's learning to say nothing because you hate yourself for talking too much. -It's being in the *middle of a sentence* and forgetting what you're even talking about. (this is the worst I do it so freaking often) -It's going quiet and spacey and thinking about everything all at once, which feels like thinking about nothing at all because you can't focus even in your own head. -It's hating yourself. -It's having friendships that feel like they mean *nothing* to you, although you try to convince yourself otherwise. (This one confuses you because you know its a meaningful friendship and you try your hardest to be a good friend always but you also know you struggle with *feeling* like its meaningful) -It's hyperfocusing until your eyes go fuzzy you're so exhausted. -It's not being able to solve a really simple puzzle because your brain sees the right answer but also its convinced theres a different way to do it. -It's feeling like your chest is going to cave in because you couldn't be perfect, which you know is unreasonable but you feel it anyway. -It's failure to control and regulate your emotions at random. -It's not being able to eat certain foods because the texture makes your skin crawl and you can't even chew it it's such a strong repulsion. -It's having sensory overloads. -It's getting up at 2 am because you cant sleep and cleaning, organizing, and rearranging the space under your sink in the bathroom instead. -It's having no self worth. -It's thinking about something for so long that you pick it a part and rationalize every aspect of it until you can understand wholly or firmly decide it's a good decision or mind-frame or whatever because you have an unwavering NEED to find rationality and logic in everything. -It's hating the way sheets feel on your toes and sleeping under blankets only for your whole life. -It's being hungry because you haven't eaten anything in almost 24 hours and pacing around the kitchen thinking to yourself "I'm not really that hungry" just because you can't decide what to eat. (This is how you got here in the first place.) (Sometimes you settle for a soda instead but since the headache is bad enough you usually force yourself to make a decision.) -It's having people who know nothing about adhd saying that "its not real" and thinking its an illness only children can have. -It's not knowing for 15 years that you didn't 'figure it out' but that you were on medication and it was helping you, you didn't know that you don't out grow it- the symptoms just change.

It. Is. Real.

Here have some more, Tumblr.

-It’s going to class and doing the best you can and still failing the class three times in a row, even if you do tutoring, study with the aids, and try everything to be prepared. -it’s knowing exactly what you want to say but never being able to put the pieces together to accurately convey the concept. -It’s rewatching an episode several times because you’re watching it but your brain is 900 lightyears away. -It’s wandering aimlessly around your house for and hour and fourteen minutes and thirty two seconds. This includes: sitting in your room for two minutes, getting up and walking into the living room and watching the news (standing 3 feet from the tv) with your mom for five minutes, going into the kitchen for twenty minutes (still watching tv as you try to decide if you’re hungry or not), going into the laundry room to get soda, walking back upstairs to sit in your room for three minutes, getting up and doing your hair in the mirror 11 different ways before deciding this was a waste of time (why did you do it anyway?) effectively throwing away eight minutes, sitting in your room for six minutes then getting up and sitting in your nieces room, where you sat all day babysitting, and look at the guinea pigs for two minutes, going back upstairs and sitting in your room for twelve minutes, walking around doing nothing for one minute, going back into the kitchen for another ten minutes, going to stand in the room with your mom, looking around for something to ??? you’re not even sure why you’re there, for three minutes, then you turn and take five steps in the direction of the stairs and stop again for another minute, finally you walk up stairs and back to your room and stay there. -It’s getting caught in a loop of thinking about the same thing at the same time every day for days on end, you pick the thing apart and figured it out (mostly anyway) almost on the first day so why you’re still thinking about it is a mystery.

I think that’s all I’m going to add, but yeah these are me-things that I consider related to my adhd.

But go ahead and tell me adhd isn’t real.

#adhd #my adhd life #add #long posts #attention deficit hyper disorder #combined type #peer sharing #attention deficit disorder

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reksekhet-blog · 5 years ago

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I became angry at Facebook this morning. People in a group I’m in were talking about how FB often takes down groups and removes posts for stupid reasons while they turn a blind eye to actual abusive and bigoted content. My frustrations with the site had been growing and this was a breaking point. It made me want to find a new social media site and just ignore FB altogether while maybe occasionally checking in for messages from people I only have a connection with through there. But then I of course felt sad about this because I really do want to keep up with what my friends are doing and many of those friends ONLY use Facebook. Moving to another social media platform that they’re not on will of course do nothing to fix that. So I had a conundrum.

I went to work. While at work I chatted with my coworker (a Jehovah’s Witness) my whole shift about Christmas stuff and how it’s annoying that the holiday has become completely inextricable from commercialization, how much I hate the music, etc. Her husband arrived to pick her up and briefly joined in on the conversation. After she had left the sales floor to clock out, he took the opportunity to mention he had been raised Catholic (I told him I also was) and then veered off into anecdotes about how they didn’t really celebrate Christmas in Cuba and he only got to have one American Christmas before his mom – who had been “searching for God” and exploring other denominations – found the JW. He then went on about how much love and peace he remembers feeling when they first entered a Kingdom Hall and how it was this wonderful place of Biblical study blah blah blah. I felt like I was hearing part of his “JW pitch” but completely out of context. I’m sure he uses that when “witnessing”.

Anyway my coworker came back and they left. I started working again by myself and thinking about his SU (subjective universe) and the JW CSU (collective subjective universe). And I thought about what I would say if the conversation ever came up about MY beliefs, about how we live in a multiverse and it is the combination of everyone’s SUs plus the OU (objective universe). But then I really got thinking more on CSUs. And I realized just how many CSUs there are. They aren’t all just religions. They are any “belief systems” that are agreed on by multiple people, including politics and lifestyle.

I suddenly realized that childhood is a period of CSU “colonization” in a person. Our conscious mind “agrees” to a CSU belief and it becomes part of who we are. And I thought about Facebook again and suddenly realized my problem with it above all else – I’d “subscribed” to too many CSUs and it had begun to upset me. My subconscious was nudging me toward minimalism, but not in a material OU way. In a CSU way.

I came home and opened Facebook and started scrolling. Any “pages” or “groups” on my feed, I immediately Unfollowed every single one except for a handful. I had NO IDEA I had been drowning out my friends so much – the people I had originally used FB to keep up with! Now it’s literally just my friends and some Special Effects Makeup/Creatures groups and a few pages of local businesses. So then I refreshed and started scrolling again. Wow! Pretty much 90% actual updates from my friends, yay!

Then I realized something else.

Most of my friends were just… sharing links/images from pages or elsewhere on the internet. There was very little actual original content from them. As much as I’d removed the deluge of non-friend news, I kind of still wasn’t getting the kind of friend updates I had hoped for. I was getting mostly a bunch of people regurgitating stuff from all the pages THEY are following. And I realized with horror that’s exactly what I’d been doing before also.

This experience with Facebook is a metaphor for CSUs. Most people’s consciousness is simply a vehicle for CSUs to infect via agreement, replicate inside via acceptance and incorporation, and attempt to infect others via regurgitation… just like viruses.

I believe that Xeper therefore begins via a form of minimalism where the awareness is willfully used to, one by one, identify the CSUs that were formerly indistinguishable as “parts of us”, reassess them, and in most cases to “Unfollow” them, thereby further distinguishing ourselves, broadening our awareness and strengthening our will. Xeper seems to be a gradual process of separation in this way, as Set is the “alone and apart” neter. The ultimate separation being, of course, from the OU upon death.

I got thinking again about my coworker’s husband’s (most likely unintentional) subtle attempt to tell me how wonderful JW is, and I realized how I’d respond to someone obviously trying to convert me… Once you see how the magic trick is done, you can’t “unsee” it! That is to say once you are able to truly observe (not “believe”) a CSU, you have at that MOMENT become outside of it. Once you are outside of a CSU, getting back into it is a lot like trying to “re-believe” in Santa Claus. This is where most atheists land. But atheists approach this stance as a “disbelieving” stance. They are simply applying the feeling on non-belief they had for every other religion to their own. Hence the common atheist phrase toward monothiests “I simply don’t believe in one more god than the ones you don’t believe in.”

I have always been mindful of using labels. They are useful to communicate concepts but often people simply “become” their labels and that is just another CSU virus. It’s totally possible to be in major agreement with a CSU but to still be aware of it as a CSU. Most people are way beyond that point – the point where your SU is so merged with the CSU and you can no longer see it as a belief but actually something which is an indistinguishable part of your “self”. Hence why people who are completely merged with their religion CSU usually don’t talk about their beliefs as “beliefs” but instead as absolute truth.

A Setian perception, I think, is to be able to entertain these various other CSUs at will. It’s less about belief but rather exploration, curiosity, and understanding – to understand that ALL religions are in a way TRUE as CSUs. To see the CSUs for what they are is to be outside them. Which leads me to think that the ultimate state of Xeper is to be outside of ALL CSUs. Exactly as Set is.

But shouldn’t recognizing and talking about Set mean he’s in our CSU/SU? Well no, what’s actually in our CSU/SU is our concept of Set. Hence the box-eared, dog-like creature of the "Sha" beast. A fantasy creature is our best symbol of a concept that is meant to be the epitome of “unbelonging” and “alien”. Set is That Which Is Not Like Anything Else.

At least, that's my current conclusions. I sincerely hope I am on the right track. A few more books yet to read before I apply to the Temple of Set.

#xeper #setian #subjective universe #objective universe #collective subjective universe #facebook #set #setian aspirant #left hand path

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if-immortality-unveil · 8 years ago

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Get to know me tag

Tagged by the lovely @hanseintheair, thank you for the interest

�RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

THE LAST:

1. drink: milk tea

2. phone call: my nana

3. text message: my brother, he was offering to beat someone up for me

4. song you listened to: Tomorrow, today by jjp

5. time you cried: literally last night

6. dated someone twice: in my first relationship right now, so no

7. kissed someone and regretted it: yes, once. It was cause he had a crush on me and I felt bad for him. Still a bad idea.

8. been cheated on: no

9. lost someone special: yes, I mean who hasn't

10. been depressed: tell me about it

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no, I don’t drink

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14. Purple, White, Grey (ace colours whaddup)

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. made new friends: yes! I made a friend in class! A real friend. Also, and I can't believe I almost didn't mention, a girl I met at a rest stop in the middle if nowhere new york had become someone I text everyday and love very much. She’s great

16. fallen out of love: hmm, no

17. laughed until you cried: yes 1

8. found out someone was talking about you: in the general sense that people talk about other people

19. met someone who changed you: yes, my current roommate is an amazing woman who has been through so much and has really helped make this place a home

20. found out who your friends are: yes, with moving away I’ve been given the distance to realize what friendship means to me and who’s important

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: does this mean someone you’re facebook friends with? Then yes, my bf and I are fb friends.

GENERAL:

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: i used to use my facebook friends list as a way to archive everyone i’d ever known, and while I don’t do that anymore because that’s stressful as heck and I never posted anything it’s still influenced by that mindset. Short answer: yes

23. do you have any pets: I have a pupper named Abbie, Chow mix

24. do you want to change your name: no. Like i’m not terribly pleased by how common it is, but I like it

25. what did you do for your last birthday: my friends and I went out to lunch and then one of my best friends took me to an amusement park

26. what time did you wake up: 9:34

27. what were you doing at midnight last night?: hmm, midnight. Like this sounds so melodramatic but crying in a storm. I was outside waiting for my friend to be done with a meeting and it started raining around me, it’s not like I planned for pathetic fallacy.

28. name something you can not wait for: Naomi and Kat to get back from South Korea so I can see them, (but also I can wait because i want them to have a nice long trip)

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: 2 months ago?

30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: magically have a lot of money appear in my bank account? Be bffs with BTS? Both are good

31. what are you listening to right now: the producer cypher from smtm6

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: A youtuber named tom replied to my comment, does that count?

33. something that is getting on your nerves: close-minded, entitled, ignorant people

34. most visited website: tumblr, youtube, and vlive

35-37. Free space

38. hair color: blond with blue tips

39. long or short hair: long hair

40. do you have a crush on someone: well i’m in love, that’s like crush extreme version

41. what do you like about yourself: my ability to empathize, my aesthetic

42. piercings: ears

43. blood type: O

44. nickname: Em, Emmy, Mom

45. relationship status: taken

46. zodiac: Virgo

47.pronouns: she/her

48. favorite tv show: allow me to be trash a second (alright, i’m trash all the time shh) Sherlock, Supernatural, Hannibal -all of them before they went on too long and became shitty

49. tattoos: no

50. right or left handed: right

51. surgery: no

52. piercing: still just my ears

53. sport: ???? What is??? Sport??? I’ve never heard of that word

54. vacation: My favourite vacation was when I went with my history class to Spain

55. pair of trainers: Keds

MORE GENERAL:

56. eating: Just had mochi, my favourite food however is my mother’s spaghetti

57. drinking: earl grey tea

58. I’m about to go: nap, I slept 4.5 hours last night

59. waiting for: i am in the odd space of not waiting for anything

60. want: everyone I love to be happy and healthy

61. get married: Honestly, I don’t care. If I find the right person I will, I won’t if not. Except We’re not married by 40 Bonnie said we could have a wedding so that I could wear a huge princess dress

62. career: GET OFF MY BACK MOM, IDK

WHICH IS BETTER:

63. hugs or kisses: hugs

64. lips or eyes: eyes

65. shorter or taller: could not matter less

66. older or younger: maturity is a must, but more often than not means older

67. nice arms or nice stomach: stomach

68. hookup or relationship: relationship

69. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER:

70. kissed a stranger: no

71. drank hard liquor: no, no drinking for me

72. lost glasses/contact lenses: 20/20 vision suckaz

73. turned someone down: a bunch

74: sex on the first date: no, ace life

75. broken someone’s heart: probably, but they got over it

76. had your heart broken: yes

77. been arrested: no, i have an inherited fear of breaking rules

78: cried when someone died: 100% yes, both the real and fictional kind

79. fallen for a friend: yeah…

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

80. yourself: i try my best to

81: miracles: yes

82. love at first sight: my demiromantic ass could never, but I believe that it may be true for others

83. santa claus: no

84. kiss on the first date: probably not

85. angels: I can’t make up my mind

OTHER:

90. current best friend’s name: Bonnie

91: eye color: it does the thing where it is never consistent, but usually I just say blue

92:favorite movie: Oh god, I have no idea.

i tag @siboire, @naomi137, @myforevermoment, @justforjunmyeon, @bonjaminfranklin, @atalantarising, @itsjacobigotthis, @lucyrue, @berri-uqam, @hehaihohum. Let me know more about y’all :)

#about me #my thoughts #i'm always up for answering questions about myself ;) sorry that this post is so long

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shaynetopps · 8 years ago

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my new bff @scisaacs tagged me in this recently and that'll probably be the end of this friendship bc I'm so boring lol

Your Last: 1. Drink: i some orange juice for breakfast 2. Phone Call: i answered a unknown phone # on tuesday that turned out being a machine 3. Text message: a potential crush that'll probably never progress *laughs with tears in my eyes* 4. Song I listened to: Hey Violet: All We Ever Wanted 5.Time I cried: I think on monday when I saw a sad commercial on tv (I'm a softy, don't judge) Have You Ever: 6. Dated someone twice: haven't even dated someone once lol 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: haven't even kissed someone lol 8. Been cheated on: nope 9. Lost someone special: yeah before I started middle school 10. Been depressed: the question should be when HAVEN'T I been depressed hahaha *looks at the floor awkwardly 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: never 3 favorite colors: navy, black, and gray In the last year have you: 12. Made new friends: @scisaacs obviously! and some other ones at school 13.Fallen out of love: lots of times 14.Laughed until you cried: oh yeah like two weeks ago with friends 15.Found out someone was talking about you: not that I know of 16. Met someone who changed you: yeah basically all of the new friends I've made 17. Found out who your friends are: yep also found out who's a fake ass bitch 18. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: hahahahahahahahahahahaha General: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: maybe half but I don't really use fb anyways 23. Do you have any pets: no I can't even take care of myself let a lone a animal lol 24. Do you want to change your name: no bc it was a bday present *laughs at my own joke for the next hour* 25. What did you do for your last birthday: other than have my friends sing happy birthday to me nothing much 26. What time did you wake up: 9ish 27: What were you doing at midnight last night: dreaming 28. Name something you can’t wait for: finish a new chapter of the fic I'm working on 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: when I woke up today 30. What are you listening to right now:a buzzfeed video playing in the background as I'm typing 31. Have you ever talked to a guy named Tom: nope 32. Something that gets on your nerves: ignorant people that spread hate 33. Most visited website: tumblr to get inspo for writing, spotify to get me in the writing mood, and youtube for my inevitable 2 hour break 34.Hair Color: black/ dark brown 35. Long or short hair: short 36.Do you have a crush on someone: *hides in the closet* pshh what? no 37. What do you like about yourself: uhh what is this 'like myself' you speak of? lol I'd like to think I have pretty good taste in fashion, music, and tv shows 38. Piercings: none and never will. the only way I'll let someone put a whole in me is if they shoot me 39. Blood type: uhhhhhh...the red kind? 40. Nickname: Mercutio (yes like the 'Romeo & Juliet character) bc when I started high school people couldn't say my real name 41. Relationship Status: emotionally unavailable/ needy 42. Zodiac: cancer 43. Pronouns: he/ him 44. Favorite TV Show: Andi Mack, Teen Wolf, The Bold Type, and more that I don't remember rn 45. Right or left handed: right 46: Surgery: never *knock on wood* 47: Sport: the one with the teams and the balls 48: Vacation: Spain has always been my dream and the rest of Europe would be cool 49. Pair of sneakers: I love these green ones I bought at Van's a while ago 50. Eating: pizza always which is why my face looks the way it does 51. Drinking: um maybe water 52. I’m about to: do research for a english assignment that's due the first day of class (SOS!) 53. Waiting for: to be alone in my house so I can be "wild" and listen to my music WITHOUT headphones 54.Want: happiness, true love, fulfillment with my life. Also food 55. Get married: hopefully one day 56.Career: I really want to be a writer or journalist which is tough bc I'm literally so shy and never post anything Which is better: 57. Hugs or kisses: kisses 58. Lips or eyes: eyes 59.Shorter or Taller: definitely taller 60. Older or younger: older bc I don't want to deal with childish bs 61.Nice arms or a nice stomach: arms 62. Hook up or relationship: relationship 63. Troublemaker or hesitant: usually hesitant but if someone pisses me off I'm a troublemaker Have You Ever: 64. Kissed a stranger: nope 65. Drank Hard liquor: no 66. Lost glasses/contacts: don't even wear glasses but if I did I would 67. Turned someone down: no 68. Sex on the first date: lololololololol 69. Broken someone’s heart: no I don't think I have 70. Had your heart broken: oh yeah 71. Been arrested: never 72.Cried when someone died: yeah 73. Fallen for a friend: several Do you believe in: 74. Yourself: not yet 75. Miracles: yeah 76. Love at first sight: absolutely 77.Santa Claus: not since I was 6 78. Kiss on the first date: yeah if I ever go out on a date 79. Angels: not really sure yet Other: 80. Current best friends name: Sam and Bryan (and some others I can't think of) 81. Eye color: brown 82. Favorite movie: idk I have a lot of favorites but the one I just rewatched is "Cruel Intentions"

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ourlittlebitofnothinguniverse · 8 years ago

Note

Hey for the ask thing, all the questions you're comfortable with answering

oh boy!!! heck yeah fun shit thanks my dude! little did u Kno…… I LOVE oversharing !!! lmao muahahahahaha i’m probably gonna answer all of them thank u for enabling it lmfao

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

yah on Rly Bad days

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

like… 3.5? i like the dark but,,, ‘m Scare,,,,,

3. The person you would never want to meet?

Orange Turnip

4. What is your favorite word?

it changes tbh,, hm but i can’t think of any rn!

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

i’d be….. a nice oak! thicc and full of secrets

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

i didn’t lmao reflection what’s that

7. What shirt are you wearing?

i’m wearing the dress i wore to work

8. What do you label yourself as?

annoying or boring lmao but also the Goblin King and that is Good

9. Bright room or dark room?

i still don’t know if this is referring to like paint shade or like the amount of light it gets or like if i sleep in a bright room or dark room so like??? *shrug emoji*

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

i was?? drawing i think

12. Who told you they loved you last?

i think it was @wrenn-frug 💕💖 lov u fren!

13. Your worst enemy?

dunno man probably myself but that sounds cliche so like??? the sun bc it always burns me

14. What is your current desktop picture?

a screenshot from song of the sea!!! lOVE that movie!!!! i’d post it but like?? i don’t think i have it saved anymore or if i do i don’t feel like looking but it’s that one scene where they’re walking thru the pretty field towards the trees and there’s foxes in the corner and she’s playing the shell it’s so pretty,,,,,

15. Do you like someone?

uh yah my cat

16. The last song you listened to?

Young God - Halseygood song lov it,,,,

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

oraNGE TURNIP

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

orange turnip my dude i Hate

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

uh nobody ????

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

my squishy thighs and my fantastic stretch marks (which have taken me YEARS to accept)

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

????????????? secret???? talent?????? lemme check, ,, , , *reaches into a bag* nope bitch empt y aint got No Talent lmao

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

okay so like this is really dumb and i partially answered this in this ask abt the flushing toilets @ night thing but like to elaborate and make it even more dumb not only am i afraid to flush toilets @ night bc it’s just rly creepy and loud to me (esp if i’ve been asleep) but like,, , sort of in the same vein of fear is that when i was little my older sister told me that there was a ghost in the toilet and if i don’t flush it’ll get me and like i kno it’s not tru but like,,,,,, Sometimes,,,,,, (i must clarify i’m not scared of toilets themselves but like flushing freaks me out sometimes like @ night or if i don’t flush fast enough lmao don’t look @ me i’m a mess)

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

Excuse? is this like that i can ONLY eat this sandwich or is it that this is the only sandwich i can ever eat or like i can only ever have one last sandwich bc honestly i’m Not Okay with any of those scenarios no matter how many ingredients i get for the initial creation

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

Dream daddy dating simulator lmao uh?? also probably more food for archie bc he is Expensive

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

Ireland probably. always wanted to see ireland

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

“Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out” like???? no???? if u don’t drink alcohol why would u want a lifetime supply??? unless i could like…. sell it??? whats the Most Expensive kind i’ll just get an unending supply of heavenly Expensive Alcohol to sell for incredibly inflated prices to the rich bc it’s From Heaven and give the money to the poor bc like,,, why not

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

bitches gotta keep they damn opinions to themselves if they can’t respect somebody’s life based on factors they can’t help (race, religion, orientation, gender etc) also no money like We Don’t Need It i’m so tired of Needing money

29. What is your favorite expletive?

Fuck bc u can use it in So Many situations

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

o shit probably the twenty dollar metallic watercolors i got bc shit son??? actually probably like my laptop or smth idk

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

my childhood thx

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

this is.. not a questionalthough it is a wonderful scenario

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

none of them bc if the celestial gates of the beyond is real then all the people i’d want to bring back are probably in a Better Place or something and why would i want to drag them to Hell?

34. What was your last dream about?

Cannot remember to save my life altho i kno it was rly weird and convoluted

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

u did not put anything Here so i will Ignore

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

Nope

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

yAH it’s fun!

38. What is the color of your socks?

not wearing any

39. What type of music do you like?

A Lot

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

Sunsets,,, evening is so nice mm m

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

chocolate ayyyy

43. Do you have any scars?

a couple but like for Dumb Reasons

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

I’ve graduated hs but i wanna be an animator when i decide which college to go to

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

my brain pls bartender can i have a Healthy One (correction to favorite word #4: fav word currently is deign)

46. Are you reliable?

i would like to think so

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

are you happy?

48. Do you hold grudges?

YAH but only if i’ve been Pushed Too Far which is Pretty Damn Far by most ppls standards

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

none I am Not a God

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

i have had So Many???? the most recent one was two times in a row random ppl i barely knew asked me for my netflix account bc they didnt have one and like…. bro what who R U,,,,, (i had literally only talked to the first guy once for ten minutes on fb)

51. Are you a good liar?

is the sky green? don’t think so

52. How long could you go without talking?

Very Long but like Only on Bad Weeks

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

None my hair is Magnificent (idk)

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

like birthday cake? never but i lov to bake cakes so like i bake myself cakes all the time

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

i am so bad @ accents i can’t even Read in my Head in accents even though i know what the accent Should Sound Like

56. What do you like on your toast?

peanut butter and banan slices

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

working on a picture of a tiger redraw

58. What would be you dream car?

a Bike bc i Do Not Like cars

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

i only sing in the shower when nobody is home (which is infrequent bc my mom is Always here) bc i am self conscious around most ppl but like Music,,,,, also when i was little i would pretend that i was standing in the rain all sad like in movies lmao

60. Do you believe in aliens?

yah

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

i follow an astrology blog and i read homestuck i mean,,

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

i??? A maybe bc there are a lot of ways to write it pretty idk but like specifically capital A ig

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

Dragons they’re fire-breathing friends and i love them

64. What do you think about babies?

Gross

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

U Didn’t put anything Here either so like how abt i give u a random fact abt myself that seems good my favorite bird is the lammergeier bc they’re basically irl dragons and they’re so pretty??? love them??? also i hate monkeys and apes esp chimpanzes bc they are scary and too much like humans to me i don’t like them

BOY that took way longer than i thought bc i had to feed my cat halfway thru and everything and like this is a Long Post sorry guys but ayyyyy this was fun thanks ari

#ask meme #i think i asked all but like three

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symplegades · 8 years ago

Text

i’m gonna do one of those old facebook note quiz things from 2010

Are you ready to answer these questions honestly even if it starts to get hard? ya How old is the last person you kissed on the lips? 27 Who was the last person you had a face to face conversation with? my best friend from undergrad What were you doing at 12 am last night? getting into bed/falling asleep Does the person you like, like you back? um i hope so!!!!!!! we share a bed????? Have you ever walked away from someone who was yelling at you? unclear. maybe but i think i’d be too squeamish to do that, i’d just stand there and cry Do you ignore people when you're mad/upset with them? nah i always have to talk it out either with them or someone else, and both options usually end in me getting over it/getting closure and going back to normal Did you kiss or hug anyone in the last 48 hours? yep When you say you don't care do you mean it? i don’t say i don’t care very much, so i guess when i say it i do mean it? i’ll have to pay attention next time Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow? yep Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed? nah i kissed mike while he was still covered in shaving cream it was yikes Have you ever cried cause you were so mad? oh absolutely, like 100% of the time What's your favourite color? cool colors. <-- what i wrote in 2010 but still true What color is your shirt? grey with purple lettering What do you hear? netflix, i’m watching this movie ~out of the dark~ Last person of the opposite sex you gave a hug to? actually my friend kevin from grad school! i just ran into him at work Are you sitting or standing? sitting. <-- also written in 2010, also still true Are you keeping a secret from anyone? um probably Have you ever kissed someone in the rain? ya Have you kissed someone with braces? yes. <-- i don’t remember that but apparently yes Are you short? ok in 2010 i wrote yes but i think i’m actually pretty average or even taller than average. maybe i was shorter in 10th grade What would your last name be if you were married to the last person you texted? ok i just texted like 3 people at once. i guess velez Last picture comment was from? did this mean, like, on myspace or facebook? idk who was the last person to comment on my fb photos. oh actually you know what a friend of a friend went through all my public posts including photos and commented on all of it and it was rly offputting, so that’s who How was your day overall? p good, i applied to 2 jobs and got called back for a second interview for another job (FINALLY) Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now? probably SOMEONE in the world. maybe my ma Have you ever kissed anyone within an hour of meeting them? ok mike tried to kiss me after our first date but i was like no that is creepy. and looking back i’m like aw so sweet we shoulda kissed! but no it was still uncomfy that he was trying to kiss me a very short time after we first met Are you anyone's first love? pls. sure i guess, people in high school. Could you handle living together with the last person who texted you? lol maybe? i’ve never considered it. prolly we could find agreements/common ground So, the person you like, their name starts with a B, doesn't it? it does not. <-- still true Is the person you last texted single? negative. <-- also still true Do you think age matters in relationships? i mean it’s totally dependent on context. we talking about 16 and 18 year olds or 16 and 32 year olds? i guess it always MATTERS it just depends on how it matters, like being similar ages kinda matters bc you’ve had similar life experiences at similar points in history and being very different ages matters bc you gotta wonder what’s going on. but once you’re over like, 25 i feel like bigger age gaps are more acceptable depending on what’s going on in folks lives. idk. How is your hair right now? it’s okay, up in a pony. actually i thought it was in a bun but i just touched it and it is a pony, usually it’s a bun when i’m home Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? nah he’s cool, although sometimes i have trouble following his thought process Where was your default picture taken? my prof pic on fb was taken at columbia Who's the last person you took a picture with? yikes, ahhhh... probably mike. Are you waiting for something? a job!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How did you get your last bruise? who knows. <-- still true. i’m not sure i currently have any bruises? Do you believe in love? yes. <-- still true What are your plans for the summer? ikea with sami tomorrow, permit on monday, kate's birthday party monday night, possibly beach with em sara hayley + meg on tuesday, dermatologist on wednesday, california with sami from friday to tuesday, one week home, to maine for 2 weeks, one week home to schedule driving time and finish summer reading and find a job. wooo!

^^^^^sorry i just wanna preserve that 2010 message bc it’s so wholesome and high school-ish and carefree.

my actual summer plans are just intense job hunting and getting a job. then maybe planning a trip home or to maine, then planning a china trip but probably won’t happen this summer. What was your first thought this morning? wa wa why is my alarm going off Have you kissed anyone this month? ya Could you date someone taller than you? sure Is there anything in your past that you'd like to try again? uhhh. yeah i’m sure there are things i didn’t do great. idk? Have you ever gotten butterflies from someone? oh yes. <-- lol wtf? “oh yes”? ya sure idk Do you like waking up in the morning to find that you have new texts? sometimes. i think when i was younger it was more exciting but now i’m kinda relieved when i wake up and don’t have notifications. Ever had braces? nope. <-- still true Do you enjoy Taco Bell or McDonalds? i haven’t eaten either in ages even tho i want to but i know i’ll just get diarrhea. but i’d probably get mcdonalds given the choice Have you ever walked on the beach at night? oh yes. <-- oh yes?? anyway the most prominent “walking on the beach at night” story was when i was on spring break with my friends in ghana (or maybe we were in togo?) and we got stuck in this beach house like a mile down this deserted beach and it was like 2am and we’re walking and all super scared bc we’re a bunch of american girls in a foreign land and then 2 random dudes come out of nowhere and we’re all like NO LEAVE US ALONE and they somehow follow us to our house? and like try to come in? and we’re all f r e a k i n g out bc we’re afraid they’re gonna attack us but then my friend who is naive and trusting opens the door and we’re all screaming like DON’T OPEN THE DOOR but then i guess he just asked if we like... needed matches or something. anyway it was a lot What were you doing at 2AM this morning? sleeping. <-- still true Let me guess, your last incoming call was from the opposite sex? nope it was mike’s mom Has a girl sat on your bed before? yes although actually i don’t think that has happened in this apartment? no one ever really goes in the bedroom except mike and me. but maybe in the old apartment girls had sat on my bed before. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? chatting with my friend and getting my thread organized Ever kissed anyone 18 or older? lol ya Math or English? womp. english? i’m poop at math now i haven’t taken it since i was a freshman in undergrad Do you have any twins in your family? i don’t think so, which is surprising bc it’s a pretty big family Are you shy? depends on the setting and how comfy i am feeling Are you close with your siblings ? meh depends on the day. i think sometimes my middle sister mom’s me too much/nags me/treats me like a baby. You'd say "Fuck you" to your ex, ain't I right? which ex? i mean probably not, what’s the point? How you feeling? kinda hungry Will you ever run away and get married in Las Vegas with no notifications to either of your families? lol nooooooooo What do you think of boyfriends/girlfriends calling each other by food names? i think it is hilar and i wish mike and i did it If you're single, then why don't you get a boyfriend/girlfriend ? not single but also this question unnecessarily adheres to the gender binary also even if i was single i don’t need a partner heck! When was the last time you were craving to get drunk? wah not in a while, i can’t hold my alcohol and mike doesn’t drink so it’s not very fun I don't know about you, but I like saying "fuck" a lot. Do you? not like a LOT. when appropriate Do you think you'll be one of those people that will get a divorce in the future? eep i hope not? does anyone consider themselves “one of those people”? Who did you last hug? my best friend from undergrad Have you ever done something that was really bad for yourself? dur Is it worth crying over a guy or a girl? i mean... crying is crying. it’s not a question of worth it or not. if you wanna cry then cry Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you? ya but we’d need to do a lot of emotional repair Has the last person you texted ever been mad at you before? oh absolutely i was trying to pretend that i wasn’t running horribly late but i was and i made her stand around for so long and she was pissed Has someone ever called you at midnight on your birthday? probably Are you wearing pants? shorts. does that count? <-- same Would you date someone twenty years older than you? womp not right now i’d feel a bit yikes. maybe if i was like 60 and they were 80 or something. it feels better to me if we’re both old lol Is your birthday in less than 6 months? nah Would you ever quit a bad habit for someone? i did actually! i was still smoking a bit when mike and i got together and he really hated it/asked me to stop Have you ever felt guilty about something you didn’t do? oh absolutely lol i feel lots of emotions about everything Do looks matter the most to you? nah Are you looking forward to tomorrow? meh Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? yeah! What are you doing after this? probably gonna make french fries Is something bothering you? unemployment ;( Three days from now, will you be in a relationship? i don't even know if i'm in a relationship NOW. <-- o shit 2010 alicia??? wyd?? you good???

anyway ya i hope so Has someone ever made a promise with you and broke it? i’m sure Will your next kiss be a mistake? hope not! Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months? we goin on 3 years here so Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? mommy. <-- still true!! we literally talk every day if not multiple times a day. Are you trying to avoid liking somebody at the moment? nope! What are you doing tomorrow? sigh probably clean... apply for another job. cross stitch lol What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? he still likes me (: <-- i’m so sad for 2010 me. what is going on? i’m so sad.

and i have no clue what my last thought was, i think i was wondering if mike wanted me to stop leaning on his arm Do you get along more with girls or guys? girls are beautiful and perfect and guys are yikes until proven otherwise next Do you remember who you liked on New Years? lol ya this same guy Have you ever intentionally pissed someone off? probably? Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be? nah The person you fell hardest for calls, what do you say? hey!!! how's phoenix?! why are you talking to me and not your arizona brethren? <-- ooooooooooh it’s when i dated this white missionary boy who i loved so much but he def did not love me but i was like, just totally infatuated. my best friend from high school refers to this boy as my renaissance bc i after dating him i started dating much cuter people lol

um anyway it’s hard to quantify who i fell hARDEST for i guess? i mean i’m currently in the process of marrying mike so i think he wins. if he called i would ask how bar night was and when the transformers movie is starting bc he got free tix from work Do you think someone has feelings for you? lol he better Have you done anything sneaky lately? hm hm. i don’t think sneaky. Do you find smoking unattractive? sigh i shouldn’t but i do think it makes ppl look sooooo COOL Do you still talk to the last person you kissed? ya we like live together How many cigarettes have you smoked today? zero. <-- still true! Kissed someone who's name started with an N? hmmmmm. when i studied abroad i kissed a LOT of people so i’m sure one of their names started with N When was the last time something bothered you? lol what? constantly? Was last night terrible? nah it was good just a quick turnaround of getting home and going to bed. i ate a lot of watermelon which was gr8 What does your hair look like right now? pony-ish First person to speak to you in '09? lmfao damn i’m dating myself. idfk. Are you afraid of losing the last person you talked to? i mean, i’m not worried about losing them, but yes i’d be afraid or upset if i lost them Are you basically a happy person? i hope so! Do you wish you could take things back? meh. no regerts and all that Have you ever wondered what life would be like without your best friends? omg what?? no?? it would be terrible?? Last person to make you seriously mad? prolly bigots Be honest, are you starting to gain feelings towards anyone? i’m like 3 years in so Do you think relationships are even worth it? well fuck i hope so lol Does anyone completely understand you? i mean no one will ever ~~completely~~ understand me but ya i have lots of people i am close to and whom i trust a lot Did you hug anyone in the last 48 hours? yep! Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot? lol yes smh Where do you see your ex in 5 years? sigh i have a lot of ex’s don’t put me on blast like this. a few of them are already married so. idk. employed? Your ex runs into you and hugs you, what do you do? which. one. actually it doesn’t rly matter bc if any of them did that i’d be like wat Who was your last missed call from? my dad, we were playing phone tag on father’s day Did you have any unread text messages this morning when you woke up? yeah one from my best friend from high school saying “wtf” bc i told him about how rats can eat snakes if you’re not paying attention when you feed your snek When you and your friends are out and about do you usually get dirty looks? wut? i mean no but probably when i was a teen or preteen we were annoying and did get dirty looks Are you easily scared by horror/thriller films? i lOOOve these films but if it’s about like home invasions i get scared, or like things that live in your house Favorite fruit? god i love fruit. raspberries, applies, cherries (but i’m allergic now :(((((((( ), melon, oranges, the whole shebang. When someone says "we need to talk," what runs through your mind? yikes.com What are your chances of getting with your crush? smh i think they’re pretty good Who did you talk to on the phone last, and why? mom bc i was walking home and wanted to chat with her Do you always answer your phone? yes always Ever worn something of the opposite sex's clothing? dur Which do you enjoy more, to eat or sleep? lmao ahhhhhh i guess eat. Is there a member of the opposite sex on your mind? i mean, yes i have a partner who is a man who i love dearly but he’s not like ALWAYS on my mind, like rn i’m not rly thinking about him but i do care for him a lot and think of him often/want to share most things with him Do you believe your latest ex thinks about you? who??... is my latest ex...... either that aaron guy from okcupid or -- omg CONNOR sigh omg poor boy i hope he’s okay. i hope he doesn’t think about me omg Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? mike Do you know anyone who would just drop everything to come see you? i mean what’s EVERYTHING... like within reason yeah Your best friend tells you, you have a drug problem, you say? ah i love you and we will get through this lets research our options together

#WEW THAT WAS SUPER LONG #enter at your own risk #smh that was soooooo long #did people actually read these when i did them in 2010?

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streetcornertwoam · 8 years ago

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oh dear...

so I had mentioned on here the other day that getting in touch with an old high school friend can sometimes be nice

...and it still is, but it’s getting vaguely more...real now

real now as in...exchanging phone numbers and talking about hanging out

which is fine...except I just...don’t do that anymore...

I’ve become so closed off from people that I just...don’t go out or do anything, which is...fine

mostly

I’m more fine with it than I used to be, I think

but then I’ll get to talking with someone, and talks of getting together and hanging out happen and like...I’m always torn

‘cause yea it would be nice to see them, to talk, catch up...etc

but...then I just become overwhelmed with anxiety...and I don’t really know why

I never was like this...

sure there were times I would perhaps ignore or y’know...drop out of hanging out whatever, but I would always still really want to

and then it became just..wasn’t ever invited, which...fair, but it hurt ‘cause y’know...I don’t know...I’m a person and even though we’re complicated af and I would have said no to going anyway...lol

and then it just kinda...I don’t know, became easier to not see anyone for long stretches of time...so I got used to being at home and doing whatever

so now it’s like someone wants to do something and for a minute it sounds nice, but mostly it’s just terrifying

I did this sorta a few summers ago with another friend from high school

also started off messaging on FB, then switched to texting...like all the fucking time...hung out a few times...aaaaaaand then we ended up like...hardcore make out session in a cemetery...yikes lol

reason for the cemetery...lol...it’s...like right behind my house...there’s a church behind my house and then it’s just like...right there cemetery

and when I was a teen me and my friends used to go walking through it and it shit all the time ‘cause it was just...near and y’know whatever

so basically it was a more or less private place near by and...so that happened

...i don’t remember if we managed to hang out again after, i know we texted a few more times and talked about hanging out...but then I think I just felt...really weird? so I kinda blew him off...’cause I’m super mature and awesome obvs

and...I haven’t talked to him really at all since lol

and y’know....we were close in high school...we never ended up dating, ‘cause his track record with girls was horrible, and I remember telling him that one time when he asked if I’d ever date him. And I straight up said no, ‘cause you end up dating a girl for a few days and then it’s over and then you aren’t even friends anymore...so no

......buuuuut that obviously never stopped from y’know...the occasional kiss action lmao

i was also the first person he ever made out with, so there’s that lol

it’s just...I don’t know, it’s weird lol

I feel like...we could have maybe had...something

but there (for me) was just...nothing when we were kissing

and I don’t know that there ever really was much, but I feel like there used to be...more I don’t know

........

not that I really think anything like that would happen with this guy......I mean...I suppose it could

I’m fairly certain he always had a bit of a crush on me

which is sweet, he was always really nice....but I just never felt the same back

I don’t know

I’m probably gonna end up having to tell him some version of this. At least the bits about I’m terrible when it comes to people anymore, and regardless of how much I may want to see and hang out I’ll probably always bail last second ‘cause I’m just...incapable of being around people apparently

I just don’t want him feeling badly ‘cause I’m such a shit person

he said he really misses me and always really loved and admired me in high school ‘cause my personality and I could always make him laugh/smile

and I’m just like...fuck that’s so goddamn nice, but honestly dude I’m such a fucking mess anymore

you want to know what I’ve been doing since high school? fuck all

dated a guy I’d known my entire life basically for 3 1/2 yrs, thought it was gonna be a forever sorta thing, ha! Jokes on me...turns out he was a fucking asshole and I should have ended after oh...2...2 1/2 yrs? but did I? NOPE

so that was fun...and that fucked me over pretty good when he did finally end it....and then strung it along by every few weeks texting me and shit until I found out what a real piece of work he was, and that was the final straw

and then I started getting back out into the world...met some new people, reconnected with my best friend, and for a couple yrs it was pretty great....

then parents place closed down, new friends i made started heading off to college, I started babysitting my nephew, lost touch with friend....

I mean this all kinda happened at the same time...I had been babysitting nephew when I was still hanging out with people and parents place was still open but still that’s basically how that went...

saw them a few more times, but then I just...by that point reached where I am now....

maybe if I got back out there after a while it’d be different, I don’t know

for all that I’m still the same person, I’m vastly different than I ever used to be

and I think that’s simply from all the time that I’ve spent on my own...so I’ve been in my head a lot and been able to think about things...sometimes over think....obsess about it...but y’know...it did at least lead me to one positive thing...figuring out that I’m not nearly as straight as I always thought I was...oh hey turns out Kels that you’re bisexual...who would have thought

well me for one, if I had ever just...thought about some of the shit I finally thought about, instead of just....fucking denying it and burying it

....I don’t know how different things would be had I realized it sooner, and even though I’ve never told anyone in my real life...I do feel better

it’s more freeing...it’s nice

and there are times...that I’m just...sitting with my parents or just my mom...and I just wanna be like ‘so...I’m bisexual’

tbh I don’t think it’d be a big issue...sometimes I think ‘they must know...’ or ‘they must suspect...’ just ‘cause...of the things I say sometimes now but I don’t know...

...I at least know my mom would be ok with it, since her older brother...my uncle...was gay

and even though he never told anyone, she said she knew...and that’s why he moved away from here so he could be himself

and I so get that...but I just really hate that he never felt he could share that part of himself before he passed

y’know...what if I had realized about myself sooner...I could have told him and we could have had that connection

...I say he was gay, but I honestly don’t even know if that’s right...I remember growing up he had girlfriends, or at least...said he had girlfriends...but I know when he died him and an old friend of his were together...so...I don’t know

I was only 18...27 now...but...I had enough information about myself to have figured out...or at the very least questioned things about myself at that point

guess it’s sorta pointless to think about things like that...can’t change the past, no sense dwelling over it...just something I got to thinking about

....this post has gone a bit off the rails lol

sometimes I forget how good i feel after I do long posts like these

I know that no one reads ‘em, or at least I suspect no one does

but I do it for myself...get thoughts down and out

it helps...a bit

I’ve been starting to think maybe I should see a therapist or something...

mom always said she was gonna send me to one when I was a teen ‘cause of my....habits

it’s one of the many things we’ve never talked about, and she never...really knew 100%, but I do know that she at least once saw scars on my arms

....and got a call from the school I think once my freshmen year after my classmates died

‘cause someone had told a counselor that I was...a bit not right and I remember getting called down once in class...and she (or was it a guy...I don’t totally remember ha) asked me if I was doing ok etc etc etc....I of course lied, and they told me that a friend had said otherwise (never did find out who that was) and they gave me a suicide hotline card and said I could come talk whenever and...then I went back to class

....sometimes I think that’s why Mr. Emery took such a shine to me...’cause it was in his class...and he got the call that I needed to go down...and then I got back and he asked if everything was alright and I just said ‘yea fine’

and y’know...he did looked...concerned but he didn’t push...I don’t know

I never got called down again...and then it just kinda...fell by the wayside I guess I don’t know

it’s weird thinking back like that...like...I can remember his face when he answered the phone and...the look...when he heard what was said...he just looked...taken aback

...fuck

I need to stop thinking about it ‘cause it’s just...yea

haven’t thought about it in ages and it’s just...a lot

for anyone that has read all this...mass of garbage and is..maybe worried about me...regarding all...that

it’s fine...I’m fine...haven’t done anything like that for...10 or so years maybe?

...thoughts is a bit different, real serious thought...still been a few years probably

those creepy intrusive thoughts that happen sometimes? yea...but it’s usually just more simply a ‘what if I died’ or ‘what if I were dead’ sorta thing...

...so admittedly yes, probably unhealthy...should really think more about a therapist or something but...oh well

ok...gonna wrap this up now I think

gonna have a queue going later today/tomorrow fyi...don’t worry haha

#personal bs #lots and lots and LOTS of rambling #as usual just done to get thoughts out #feel a bit better now

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seokjinchuriki · 8 years ago

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82 Truths

rules: once you’ve been tagged you’re supposed to write a post with eighty-two truths and then tag twenty-five people.

tagged by the lovely @mochiminii thanks honey WARNING: yo this gonna be long af so like feel free to ignore/skip

name: linh blood type: i don’t know, so i’m just going to say gold nickname(s): rin, log r/s: dating park jimin. nahhh, single and don’t want to mingle. zodiac sign: taurus pronouns: she/her favorite tv shows: fixer upper, triple d (with guy fieri), kitchen nightmares, and iron chef long or short hair: to my shoulders height: 165cm do you have a crush on someone: park jimin what do you like about yourself: my love for food and my heart of golf right or left handed: right handed list of three favourite colors: black, gray, and white

right now: eating: cheesecake w/ strawberry syrup drinking: soy milk i’m about to: shower for like an hour listening to: btob - movie on Mnet kids: probably never get married: i’d hope so career: as a pharmacist or the proud owner of a dog cafe

most recent: drink: soy milk from a box phone call: my dad bc his car ran out of battery song you listened to: do u dirty by kehlani

have you ever: dated someone twice: yes i have, i was a naive little shit been cheated on: yes lmao, still was a naive little shit kissed someone and regretted it: i suppose so lost someone special: unfortunately yes been depressed: yeah been drunk and thrown up: i’m always the designated driver™ kissed a stranger: ew stranger danger had glasses or contacts: i wear glasses and i look damn good in them

had sex on the first date: nope nope ( i don’t know why there are large ass spaces ™)

broken someone’s heart: noo i dont have the heart to do so turned someone down: i don’t have the heart to do so cried when someone died: yeah, for someone i was really really close to fallen for a friend: i guess

in the last year have you: made a new friend: yep! fallen out of love: no how could you fall out of love with park jimin?? laughed until you cried: i laugh all the time at my own damn jokes met someone who changed you: yeah i guess found out who your true friends were: yeah found out someone was talking about you: i literally dont care kissed someone on your fb list: lmao no

which is better: lips or eyes: eyes but have you seen park jimins lips??? hugs or kisses: hugs. i love hugs shorter or taller: taller romantic or spontaneous: both pls sensitive or loud: a good balance hookup or relationship: relationship troublemaker or hesitant: good balance

first: best friend: my old guinea pig surgery: none sport i joined: tennis vacation: the philippines

do you believe in: yourself: sometimes miracles: a little? love at first sight: not really heaven: feels like only hell exists sometimes

extras: how many people from your fb list do you know irl: a lot i guess do you have any pets: yes, my boy King Mickey™ do you want to change your name: nah i like my name what did you do for your last birthday: ate three cakes what time did you wake up today: 10:43 am what were you doing last night at midnight: laughing at my shitpost something you can’t wait for: for jimin to buy me a Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise last time you saw your mom: just now what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: nothing, i like it rn have you ever talked to a person named tom: yeah what’s getting on your nerves: rude and ignorant people

i tag: @tr4sh-s0ci3ty @parkjiminbiased @emjooni @hipsterminseok (sorry if you guys have done this already) and whoever else wants to do it!

#tagged #personal

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custompotato · 8 years ago

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(My first one! Ahhh! Im So excited!) Thank you, @lovelylangst, for tagging me!

Rules: Write 92 truths about yourself then tag 25 people (I dont have 25 people But imma try anyway!!!)

Long ass post.

LAST… [1] drink: Coffee [2] phone call:My mom [3] text message: Sent? My mom. Received? One of my WoW friends (whom i love) [4] song you listened to: She Keeps Me Up, by Nickleback. [5] time you cried: Last night.

HAVE YOU EVER… [6] dated someone twice: I dont think so. [7] been cheated on: Probably tbh [8] kissed someone and regretted it: Nope. [9] lost someone special: Do... Do pets count? [10] been depressed: Yes, but I’m getting a lot of help from the fambam [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope!! Dont drink too much, and I cant remember the last time I threw up involuntarily.

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS: [12] Dark Blue [13] Orange [14] Red

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: Yup! And I’m so, so happy! I love them! [16] fallen out of love: I can’t say I’ve ever romantically *loved* someone, just kinda liked them, and that’s still going strong so. [17] laughed until you cried: ...We do not mention that night. [18] found out someone was talking about you: In what way? Like. meanly? Nicely? I dont think anyone would tbh I kinda suck [19] met someone who changed you: Read: The Fambam. [20] found out who your true friends are: Uhhhh. Nothing like... Super cataclysmic clued me in? [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: ... I dont think so? My memory of time is pretty shit tbh.

GENERAL… [22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: All but like. 4. [23] do you have any pets: 54: 3 dogs, 8 cats, 3 goats(babies incoming), 12 ducks, 24 chickens, 2 pigs, 1 snake, 1 goose [24] do you want to change your name: Not to anything specific?? I just like using alias [25] what did you do for your last birthday: Do people celebrate those? ;;;; haha... ha. Im a lonely, old gremlin. [26] what time did you wake up: 6:53 [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping. [28] name something you cannot wait for: S3 of Voltron, more wonderful angst of any of my favorite characters, happiness without worry, being 18 so i can do shit, retirement, bedtime. [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: 3 seconds ago when I looked over to make sure she didnt know I was on Tumblr. [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: My insecurites and general disgust and hatred for life. [31] what are you listening to right now: One of the freaking chickens laying eggs outside. And the pig playing with her food toy. [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: ... Prob, tbh, but I dont know their names. Only their groceries. [33] something that is getting on your nerves: My family [34] most visited website: Tumblr/Ao3 [35] elementary: Coal Creek [36] high school: (i dont understand the context.) What year im in? last. One i go to? Connections Academy. Favorite year? Junior [37] college: I do intend on going? To Aims [38] hair color: Natural? Brown. Current? Brown with the underside a dark red(really pretty red) [39] long or short hair: Long <3 [40] do you have a crush on someone: No comment... *sweatdrops* [41] what do you like about yourself: Uh... Um... I am the reincarnation of Happy Bunny, as said by my coworker. [42] piercings: A helix. I want my tongue done though [43]blood type: Hell if i know. Red. Prob... kinda salty-sweet, for you vamps out there. I dont taste good but youre welcome to try. [44] nickname: Carrie/Path [45] relationship status: Single. [46] zodiac sign: Virgo. [47] pronouns:She/her [48] fav tv show: Too many to list, but current is Voltron [49] tattoos: I wanna get one. Several, really. [50] right or left hand: Right

FIRST… [51] surgery: Idk, maybe? Prob not though. [52] piercing: Ears [53] best friend: Irl? Ruby/Bo. Online? the Fambam in its entirety. [54] sport: To do? Ick. To watch? Basketball, i guess Favorites to watch/read about: tennis, basketball [55] vacation: Vegas, 7th Grade [56] pair of trainers: Those are shoes right?

RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: Nothing! [58] drinking: Nothing! [59] i’m about to: Finish this up, read some langst, and go to work! [60] listening to: Nothing, rn [61] waiting for: Happiness. And my later doom. Screw work. [62] want: Happiness. And a nap. [63] get married: Only for tax benefits [64] career: Divorce Lawyer! (dreams of little girls, right?)

WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: both. Fight me. [66] lips or eyes: Eyes, because they dont mock me verbally. Also i can actually draw them so. [67] shorter or taller: I like tall people. I wish I were short. [68] older or younger: Should I care??? As long as I’m not breaking laws, well. [70] nice arms or nice stomach: Stomach. And arms. Crush me against your nice stomach with your nice arms. [71] sensitive or loud: I am loud to cover up my sensitivity [72] hook up or relationship: ... depends tbh. If i were more confident in my body i would totally lean to hook up though. But also, cuddles are nice? I want cuddles. [73] troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant. I am the most timid potato.

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? Nope! [75] drank hard liquor? Yup! [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? Dont remind me. [77] turned someone down: Yup! [78] sex on first date? Haha. Me? Sex? (im not confident enough for sex. also. No dates) [79] broken someone’s heart? ....If i think really hard and ignore the part of me saying noone could love me like that, I actually... Have? Several times? FML IM SORRY SIT! [80] had your own heart broken? You cant break what I have already crushed! Haha! [81] been arrested? Almost, but not really. [82] cried when someone died? Do pets/videogame characters count?? [83] fallen for a friend? ... No comment. (looks away shiftily)

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? I thought we established the extreme no-ness of this? [85] miracles? Why should I? They’ll never benefit me. [86] love at first sight? Lust, yes. Love? Doesnt exist. [87] Santa Claus? No. [88] kiss on the first date? Who is the date with? [89] angels? Nope!

OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: Ruby/Bo/Ro/Entirety of Fambam [91] eye color: Brown [92] favorite movie: uhh... Kung Fu Panda 2 I guess.

Tagged peoples:

@moriatake @hubbletuff @redmullets @strifingkind @ghost-toaster @vivelavoltron @rubatosisopossum @kaxpha (you dont know me but I love you) @appsa @baked-mashed-potato @daddyshiro @aquabutterfly @demiquaver @lance-lance-revolution hnnnn how many more to go idont want to just tag random people ahh plz dont hate me, @bext-k because. youre like a queen. we need to know things. @lolygothica bc youre pretty much the reason i have tumblr thank you for all your fake fb posts and texts ilysm, @moroseconcept @prince-lance-of-altea cant wait for the Secret Circle au, ily for that, @sniperlance bc im running out of people and ily too even if we never talked before, @the-blue-artemis at this point half the people here i know from their langst. pretty sure im doing this wrong is it supposed to be just mutuals?!?! okay im done its not 25 people but i cant.. figure out... who else. (Please dont hate me T-T)

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