#but also more of the interesting plot stuff happens with lark so

[ancientmyrddin]

doing 1st run editing on fne (may change to See No Evil?) because i did decide to split it into two parts, with the second being primarily from Lark's perspective

[triviareads]

This month was a bit of a hit-or-miss in terms of books I read. I took the opportunity to revisit an old favorite Tiffany Reisz and reread her entire Original Sinners series plus a good chunk of her novellas. I also knocked out a few ARCs (I'm very excited about KJ Charles's upcoming book in particular). I'm hoping July will be a better month, but here are the books I enjoyed the most this June:

Minx by Sophie Lark Holy shit. I don't think I've read a sexier book in a long time and I JUST finished it at 1 am today. Blake is a high-class escort, and Ramses is a billionaire investor who not only wants her, but also wants to be her exclusive client and is willing to go to great lengths to make that happen.

I'm restraining myself from listing every sex act but here are the most pertinent ones: pet play is a big part of this story (if the title is any indication...), there's some really hot exhibitionism, role-playing, the rare period sex (like he fully goes down on her and everything and afterwards, they're shrugging like "we're all animals aren't we?"), and I'm actually surprised to see this again so soon after finishing the Kingmaker series— butt stuff during a blowjob.

The romance was also stellar— I appreciate how unique Ramses and Blake's brand of emotional intimacy is: Intimacy for them is him opening up his trading books to her and her accepting investing advice from him. It's her getting the information he needs to financially fuck over his terrible stepfather. It's when his estranged mom is being The Worst in public so she flashes her pussy at him to buck him up just before he has to deliver an important speech. For two characters who tend to play a lot of power games, this is very gratifying to read. They're wholly unrelatable in the best way— too hot, too rich, too smart— and we're just here along for the ride.

An Island Princess Starts a Scandal by Adriana Herrera Stunning. Gorgeous. Here are my thoughts as I was reading it. Manuela is a Venezuelan heiress who is set to marry as soon as she returns from Paris. So she understandably wants to make the best of her time in Paris. And because of her immediate on Cora, she makes a deal with her: in exchange for a parcel of land Cora needs for the railway project she is heading, she will show Manuela around all the lesbian haunts in the city.

Manuela is such a bright, effervescent heroine. And dare I say a bit of a brat? There was this scene where she purposefully told Cora she'd be at a more *risqué* party and swanned around until Cora stormed in and was like "fetch her and have her brought into my carriage At Once". Cora is a classic older heroine: worldly, confident, a silver fox(!!), and she's guarding herself from loving again. But when these two collide.... fireworks. No other way to put it. I said this when I just finished reading it, but I truly hope this will be a classic historical romance in another decade or two because it has all the beats while providing much needed queer and POC rep within the genre.

Heartless by Elsie Silver Small town romances are very hit-or-miss with me so I don't recommend them lightly lolol. But Heartless was a standout for me among the few Elsie Silver books I tried. Will is a fun, bratty heroine (wow there's a pattern here) who is panties-optional (which is a bigger plot point than you think, and the culmination is very fitting in a very hot way— at least I thought). Cade is a gruff silver fox rancher. Really, what more do you need?

Sidenote: Since a lot of the plot is about Willa nannying Cade's son, I will say, I'm fine with kids in romances as long as they're not weirdly precocious or actively trying to shove the love interests together. Which didn't happen here.

The Chateau by Tiffany Reisz One of the only Original Sinner novellas I hadn't read: What held me back was that the cult in this story is based on the Story of O so... I wasn't too enthusiastic about reading a cult centered around that book. But when I started it, I was surprised to see it really isn't like the Story of O? Apart from the setting and a few other references. Certainly not sadomasochistic to that degree, and it's about male, rather than female submission. It's a fun read. Young Kingsley being unrepentantly horny and having zero limits really comes in handy now that he's a spy (assassin?) assigned to infiltrate this sex cult and get his boss's nephew out. You also see his desire for a family manifesting, but his ultimate (and at this point kinda tragic) devotion is to Søren. Would recommend for anyone who wants to read about male subs.

The Return by Tiffany Reisz Søren and Kingsley return to the sex cult chateau. I'd say The Return is entertaining in a different way from The Chateau; Now that Søren and Kingsley's relationship is more secure (aka Kingsley isn't trying to torture himself about how Soren doesn't love him lol), you really get to see their fun side. And by fun, I mean, Søren being hella bitchy to the women that fucked Kingsley over like 2 decades ago ("only I get to hurt him") and then proceeding to make good on that promise. Anyway, would not recommend having a pissed off sadist and a perpetually down-and-ready Frenchman has houseguests. There will probably be come stains on the rug.

[doods-eye]

Okay, so I thought about it and I hope it will help? The thing you are doing is mostly assigning the roles based on the large personality vibes-

Like Normal as Mabel, because he's peppy and chipper and optimistic or Glenn as Stan because he's chill with kids doing illegal shit.

But the way I see it, it makes more sense to assign the roles based on overlapping details like relationships and motivations, which means that inevitably some characters are gonna share roles and/or work differently plot/lore-wise than the actual characters in Gravity Falls.

Here's what I'm thinking:

1. Henry Oak as Stanford Pines and the Oak twins as Stanley Pines. Listen, hear me out. This is the only DnDads relationship that canonically went from closeness to being as tense, if not more, as the Grunkles. It's also the only relationship within the podcast where one family member hurts the other on purpose and then spends years trying to resolve the consequences that followed after. The reasons for why it happened obviously would be different than in Gravity Falls, but it's the only relationships that I can see result in the portal incident. Additionally Lark and Sparrow both possess the chaotic traits to make a Mystery Shack work as well as Stanley Pines made it work and Henry hopped the dimensions on accident just like Ford did and has a culty relationship with his dad (does that imply Barry Oak as Bill Cipher? Idk)

2. Normal Oak as mostly Dipper Pines with a side of Mabel and Hero Oak as mostly Mabel Pines with a side of Dipper. The reasoning is as follows:

-Normal as Dipper is due to his generelly more active role in the plot progression, social awkwardness and need to prove himself. Also, insecurity. Sparrows dissapointment also overlaps greatly with Grunkle Stans 'tough love' thing, where the Gravity Falls cast enters Stans mind. Additionally if Normal would find a journal with a vanished, mysterious author he'd be the more likely one to get invested in it, because of his big desire to help others (and also help the author, who he suspects went missing due to investigating the dangerous paranormal activities).

-Hero as Mabel is due to her generelly more passive role in the plot progression and interest in paranormal, unapologetically being herself and want to be normal aka have new social relationships. Plus, the ambition to achieve her personal goals. Hero simply is as interested in investigating weird stuff as Mabel is, meaning it's mostly her just stumbling into paranormal stuff because of 1. Normal dragging her into it 2. Trying to be social as herself and it just being there and 3. it being interesting to her only if its related to her personal interests (Mabels interest in timetravel because of Waddles, volunteering to get Unicornhair because she likes Unicorns as a concept, the big interest in twillight-esque vampires being real because it seems romantic to her)

Now, the sides of Mabel and Dipper is each because their actual surface personalities do actually match the opposite of what I assigned them, meaning that in certain plot points they would basically switch whos Dipper and Mabel. Like, Normal would be more likely to trust Lark/Sparrow when they open the portal and Hero would be more likely to be Dipper during stuff like Summerween. You cant really clearly cut it. It just so happens that plotwise Normal is a more active character than Hero.

3. Wendy and Soos as Scary and Linc, with Scary being more Wendy and Linc more Soos, but they also would switch a lot. Just smush their roles together and assign parts of them to whoever fits it more, like for example Scary being both the cool girl and the one with an absent father like Soos.

4. The Closes/Swifts as the Northwests. LISTEN. They simply occupy the same space, they are not as abusive as the actual Northwests. But the neglect and pressure to be cool and Mabels rivalry with Pacifica translates well into Taylor having Pacificas role. To be clear, he's only nasty to Hero and only because she outcools him in their shared interest department (anime). The way the Closes/Swifts got rich I imagine is due to their ties to the Likely-Unworthy-Fosters.

5. The Likely-Unworthy-Fosters (Scam, Jodie and Hermie) as Gideon. I don't think I need to explain this much, it just makes sense. Gideon is a Scammer. Hermie scammed Normal. Scam scams. Jodie is kinda there like Gideons mom. Hermie would not be the brains of the operation, but hed defo would be the face. It works.

And

6. Glenn Close, Darryl Wilson and Ron Stampler as Fiddleford McGuckett, to various degrees. Yes, it would be more complicated. No, idk how they ended up working with Henry. It probs was something along in the name of protection from the paranormal, supporting a friend and shits and giggles. Yes, I think they all worked on the portal while being parents. Yes, they did not know all the details. And yes, they all erased their memories, Darryl only once, Ron a couple lot times more and Glenn probs got addicted to it. Yes, one of them is a blind eye founder. I think Ron probably founded them on accident and Glenn probs only worsened the issue. I can vividly see that.

Hope this made sense cause thats all about I got lol

im still thinkin about gravity falls, im always thinkin about dndads, but ive run into a barricade thinkin about an au

i like the idea of hero as dipper, normal as mabel, and glenn as grunkle stan [leading towards jodie as ford??]

but then came the thoughts of lark/dipper, sparrow/mabel, glenn/stan. then hero/dipper, norm/mabel, LARK/stan [sparrow/ford???] and so on so on

what do yall think is the best combo pls help i wanna draw a bit from scary-oke but cant figure out whos who

[hyrule-kingdom-updates]

writing question: how do you structure each arc esp in terms of the grand story? i’ve tried to write big fics before but despite my dramatic plans for the beginning and end, i only have overarching ideas for in between with no clue abt the nitty gritty. how do you turn “x should develop across the story”, “y should be foreshadowed early on” etc. into a proper series of events?

BIG SPOILERS FOR HKU UNDER THE CUT

Ok so first, pretend you are writing the shortest fic in existence. That way, you lay out ONLY the most essential features of your main plot.

Then lay out ONLY the essential details that connect these important plot points

That’s pretty much the basics of what you need to figure out before you start anything else. If you don't have that figured out yet, work on that before anything else.

So the inbetween stuff is basically how you keep the audience intrigued between these parts of the story. You can use different plot points or "twists" to create a system of highs and lows, like a wave. That way, the story is dynamic, people are interest, and it's not boring.

It’s not about being unpredictable, but you just gotta go through trial and error with finding out where to place what details when, so that you can have adequate pay off. 

Generally the rule of thumb is, the bigger the ultimate reveal, the earlier on you should lay clues and foreshadowing. Obviously try not to do it to a point where it’s too obvious, as the tool of a plot twist is mainly to get the reaction of “I SHOULD have seen that coming, but I didn’t!” instead of “I would NEVER have seen that coming!”

If you got all that, just place it in your brain for later as we add more to our little diagram.

So let’s structure where we place our “plot twists” and important beats. These have to be essential to connect your bigger plot, or developing one of your character, otherwise they’re just useless and you should cut it. I’m gonna start with the stuff that affects the plot. (Again, trying to be as simplistic as possible.)

So these beats in the story are essential to connect the main plot points, if you take them out, it doesn’t make sense. The specific cosequences for these “plot twist” are the connective glue that you wrote down earlier. For example, the consequence of Siv protecting Zelda is him solidifying his trust and love for her in that moment, thus his relationship with her develops him into a caring protagonist. The consequence of Zavis being revealed as a spy is Siv starting to question the relationships he’s made, and they start to break down over time. The consequence of the fourth tie being revealed is that it leaves the only intact and ultimately consistent relationship in Siv’s life to be Calamity canon.

Also you might notice that I redaced one of the plot twists for spoilers. BUT, I think this is a good moment to point out that you don’t necessarily need to reveal the information that your characters learn as they happen, because I think setting up forshadowing for the twist itself AFTER it happens can be pretty interesting. The reader knows that something has happened, but now the mystery of exactly WHAT it was can drive the plot further. Anyways.

You have these point, and now you have to figure out what to put inbetween. Again, you have to create highs and lows, and general your twists are your highs (points of extreme action and tension for the reader), so now we establish your lows (points of comedic relief and relaxation for the reader).

But, SURPRISE! You already did that! Your lows of the story are determined by the areas inbetween your plot twists!

Now if you don't like where your highs and lows are, that's alright, you can move stuff around, again it's a process of trial and error. But the name of the game is pacing, but that's like a WHOOOOOLE OTHER essay about how to pace things, but we're here for deciding where to put arcs so we'll just breeze by that right now.

You also might notice in my badly drawn diagram that the height of the crests of each wave are different, and you'd be right to notice that. It's because I'm assigning a sort of "value" of each plot twist, as as the writer I know how important the impact of wave one is. Generally the rule is the further along you go, the more value ro tension a point has to offer. It'll kinda look like those five act structure graphs your english teacher showed you in fifth grade.

So now FINALLY, you can get a general sense of where to have arcs in your story.

Not every arc is gonna be the same, that's just a given, but you can get a general sense of where certain arcs are based on what you made.

Maybe if you're going for a lighthearted tone, you want every arc to start on a low, and end on a low, like an episodic format. Or maybe if you're going for a tone that's more serious or myserious, you'll be more prone to end arcs on highs. You can problem guess which one I lean more towards.

Quill Boys and co arc: Start on the low of Siv and Zavis hanging out, being pals, end on the high of Zavis' reveal as the spy

A lark flies into the woods arc: low action as Siv and Astor talk, the high of Larc's decision is revealed.

Hollow knight but not that hollow knight arc: The tension continues to rise in the battle, and then a low after the battle is won, but then the high of Link's truth is revealed.

That's how I write my arcs, but sometimes depending on where I want the tone to be, I'm stretch out multiple low-high-low arcs to give the reader a break. But you'll notice as we approach closer and closer to the climax, the frequences of the waves increases, and the length of the breaks decrease. So when that happens, you might need to break your arcs in highs and lows that art part of a bigger wave, similar to how i did #a lark flies into the woods and #Hollow knight but not that hollow knight.

For another example of breaking up arcs to show part of a wave, I did #sibling fights hollow knights and destiny rewrites and #long ago and long away, with the "high" of Zelda's plan being what splits them down the middle.

AGAIN. THIS IS ALL TRIAL AND ERROR AND WILL NOT WORK FOR EVERY TYPE OF STORY. THIS WORKS FOR ME BECAUSE MY STORY IS BASED ON THE IDEA OF UNSEEN INFORMATION AND ULTIMATELY BEING "UPDATED" ABOUT IT, SO THE REVEAL OF INFORMATION PROVIDES A CONCLUSION TO AN ARC

BUT JUST ENDING AN ARC WITH A PLOT TWIST DOES NOT AUTOMATICALLY MAKE IT GOOD. TRUST ME I'VE MADE THAT MISTAKE SOMETIMES [BUT I AM ALSO STARING INTENTLY AT TV SHOWS LIKE SHERLOCK AND LIKE 60% OF DISNEY]

Now, on that final point about foreshadowing. Let's look at those values again?

So, the more impactful you see your plot twist or development, the earlier you should set it up (generally, anyways. there are exceptions)

This is an example for the Zavis, Zelda, and Fourth Tie twists. I value the fourth tie as the highest, so I establish it subtly very early. I also value Zelda's plan as pretty high, so I establish Terrako pretty early, and her reveal gives an explanation as to why she's so focus on fixing Terrako, and also explains her reaction to Zavis' reveal. Zavi's twist is important, to who he is, so I set him up right by his first introduction

Link's twist is important, but I personally wouldn't value the tension and high of it as much as Zavis'. In addition, I already have a long establish plot twist revealed with Zavis, so I think I want to surprise my audience a bit more by foreshadowing Link's tie only a few arcs before the reveal. Astor's impact is almost better if there's nearly no foreshadowing to him at all, (especially on a meta level) so I think I'll make one off hand mention to him existing and leave it at that.

I think for the most part, the more impact the event has on the development of your story/character, the earlier on you should foreshadow/hint at it.

And I breezed by a lot of shit, like I didn't even TOUCH the character related twists like Sooga and Revali. And there's shit about pacing and timing and conclusions and beginning to arcs and their relations...but I think that's a good enough starting point for your ask.

So keep your arcs dynamic do follow the highs and lows of your story. Make sure they end conclusively (cliff hangers are ok, but don't assume a plot twist in of itself is a conclusion) and foreshadow shit earlier depending on how big of a twist it is

[walkwithheroes84]

Saved By the Bell (2020) Thoughts

 When the original Saved by the Bell ended in 1992, I was still in elementary school and certainly hadn’t watched it’s first run. But over the years - via repeats - it has become something of a comfort show for me, that I turn to when I’m feeling down or just need something cheesy to chill out to. So, hen I heard about a reboot on the Peacock network, I was unsure. 

Now, having finished the ten episode season in just two days, I’m really hoping people give this show a chance. It knows what it is and what it is the child of and it lovingly pokes fun at and embraces it. All while actually showing real issues that people are facing today.

Here are my real-time after thoughts on each episode. Warning for spoilers. 

1.01: Pilot

Zack becoming Governor to get out of a parking ticket and then having no idea what to do is a very Saved by the Bell plot line. But, I love that he's not getting away with doing a bad job and the people of California actually seem to be upset with him. Also random, but - I wonder if Kelly is a doctor and why she hasn't kicked Zack to the curb if he's become such a skeevy person? I guess it is true love.

Jessie and Slater and still adorable, even as platonic friends. However, it's sad that she's kept her son so dependent on her and that it appears that Slater peeked in high school.

Lexi and Mac would be completely unlikeable if played by anyone other than Josie Totah and Mitchell Hoog. Right now, they are just unlikeable, but could grow as the series goes on.

Devante and Aisha are good and I look forward to their characters being explored more.

Daisy is fine, but I don't think she's a strong enough character to be the "lead". Many reviews have called her the "lead" and the "character viewers follow the most" and I'm not sure the character is strong enough for that. Haskiri Velazquez is capable in her role and is doing fine, but the character is a bit bland at the moment.

Principal Toddman: finally a principal that is trying to make a difference and isn't bumbling around and letting the students get away with anything.

The "running for school president" story felt straight out of the old series, with Lexi and Mac doing it for a parking space. But, I liked that in the end (it was 2 days show time and just 30-something minutes our time) they only let Daisy have the job because they didn't want to give up their spring break - not because they learned any sort of real lesson.

From previews I was a little worried that they might try and go with a Mac/Daisy pairing, and I really glad that it doesn't look that way. Yes, it feels like they might pair them down the road (if the show gets a season 2 and beyond), but for now Daisy seems more annoyed with him and Mac seems indifferent to her. It looks like the show might go with Jamie/Aisha, which could work.

1.02: Clubs and Cliques 

The theater clique is basically so cliché that its amusing. I love that they were all desperate to get Devante involved and keep him in the group chat, but he was just so disinterested. Lexi's line that she would fall for him if he kept ignoring her? Ha.

Jamie's inability to basically function as a normal fifteen/sixteen year old is alarming. The fact that he couldn't tell he is bad at football and that he makes raw food? Like, Jessie, who did you raise? That said, the football team having a "Feelings Helmet" was just amusing to me. The Bayside students are just so over the top insane.

There is a large part of me that wonders what the heck happened in the raising of Mac. Kelly had six siblings. She was raised in a working class family. I can't see her raising her son to be this entitled brat who apparently calls her stupid. And, I honestly can't see Zack allowing his son to end up an idiot who just floats through life.

But, I guess that's the point of the series: the Bayside students are all clichés and over the top archetypes of rich kids. None of them are really all that likeable and I find myself rooting for Devante, Daisy, and Aisha while wanting Mac, Lexi, and Jamie to grow up.

1.03: The Bayside Triangle

Knowing that Jamie and Lexi have been friends since they were little kids and she now has a crush on him and doesn't know how to handle it? Very relatable and makes me like her a bit more. She's right - for a lot of reasons, it can be weird to have an old friend like you.

Aisha trying so hard to fit in with the Bayside students is a bit sad, actually. It feels like she's giving up a part of herself to be who they think she should be.

Mac and Jamie's fight felt like it was straight out of the original series.

It's sad to know that Zack and Slater are no longer friends. I wonder why.

Devante is totally my favorite at this point. He just wants a fresh start and it's sad that Aisha and Daisy suspected him of wrongdoing because of his past.

Again, the fact that the students do all this weird stuff and no one at the school seems to notice or care . . .I feel that is purely making fun of the original show, but I love it.

1.04: The Fabulous Birchwood Boys

Lexi and Devante need to become best friends and stay best friends forever. Let's keep it platonic and fabulous. Also, his friends from his neighbor? I need to see more of those boys.

Jamie and Mac Freshmen year? Dorky as all get out. Lexi's fear that no one would like her. So heartbreakingly real.

Daisy having access to money for one day and becoming an entitled monster...that also felt very real. And, I'm really glad that she didn't take the easy way out and said she was sorry to the other members.

Since Mac never even asked Post Malone and since he got the other kids back - I'm starting to think the kid has more depth and empathy than I originally gave him credit for. That or Daisy is rubbing off on him. If they did Daisy/Mac down the road, I think it could work.

I felt so sorry when Lexi realized that Jamie had asked Aisha. I think they are headed for a Lexi/Jamie/Aisha love triangle, and I have to say that while I see Lexi/Jamie (because of her crush), I don't see Jamie/Aisha just yet.

Finally, Slater obsessing over the gym floors? He really did become a stereotype of a gym coach.

1.05: Rent-A-Mom

Jessie still having anxiety about caffeine and knocking what she thought was caffeine pills away from Mac was great.

Speaking of which - poor Jessie and her marriage. :( How did she end up with such a wishy-washy husband?

Slater and Aisha bonding while trying to making the team tougher was great. I cannot believe Jamie gives heartfelt speeches before games. What the hell, man? They really are pushing Jamie as the "sensitive man-child".

Jamie also mentioned that he was starting to like Aisha, but I still don't really see it. Am I alone in this? A start of a friendship, sure. But, a romance within the next few episodes - that would move too fast. Then again, it is a "teen show" and romance on those tend to move quickly.

Lexi and Mac trying to help Daisy was kind-of sweet in a weird sort of way. I like the looks into the home lives of the gang. It gives us a better understand of who they are as people.

1.06: Teen-Line

DeVante clearly facing racism and even classism at Bayside was really well done. I love that Lexi was ready to help him, because he has become such a great friend to her. Those two have really bonded and I love it.

Mac becoming a payphone, but not realizing it kind of made me smile. But what was even better was the way the school completely went into chaos after the students lost their phones. It couldn't have been more than three hours and the school already looked like a deleted scene from a post-apocalyptic film. Oh, and Mac using the rope to get in and out of the room, while the rest of the group used the door. . .loved it.

Aisha and Jamie. . .I feel like she's with him because he's attractive and sweet. There doesn't seem to be any real depth to their relationship. Though to be fair, there isn't much depth to Jamie's character - he's a satellite love interest to Aisha and Lexi.

1.07: House Party

Lexi finally seeing that she is a good (or at least better) person? I like that she is growing. Out of all the characters, I think she has gotten the most character growth (out of the kids) this season.

So. . .Mac does all his schemes because he's scared of being abandoned by the people he cares about and feels neglected by his parents? It's cliché, but. . .okay.

I'm still not really feeling Aisha/Jamie, but I'm not hating it. The relationship lacks depth, so I'm not terribly invested. But, I'm sure if I went back and watched any of the TNBC shows (without my nostalgic glasses on) those romances won't have much depth either.

Daisy trying to go wild, but instead having to be locked in a closet and making out with a coat? Eh, I get that they were poking fun at the darker and "edgy" teen soaps, but, eh.

Slater really grew during the episode and realized that it's time to leave high school behind and start acting like a real adult, and I'm proud of him.

1.08: The Todd Capsule 

Lark looked amazing. I'm so happy that she is doing so well these days.

So now we know where Screech is: on the Space Station with Kevin the Robot.

I was actually sad to learn that Kelly didn't follow her dream of becoming an actual doctor and is instead selling a fake wellness brand or some nonsense. Though, I will admit the Zack/Kelly scenes had me giggling a bit. They have become so shallow and weird, but I'm living for it. And when Zack said she was the only woman he's ever been with? That was a great jab, at least to me, at the way teen shows always do the "one true pairing" thing.

So glad Jessie now knows that Slater still has feelings for her. Can't believe her husband is having an emotional affair with one of his characters. This show can be so ridiculous.

The time capsule was a great addition to the episode, especially as they remembered all the plots that didn't make sense or were just weird: Jessie's caffeine addiction, putting on a ballet so Zack could graduate, saving a hotel in Hawaii.

How dare the gang (expect Lisa, who is a Queen) not remember Ron-Ron!

I hate - hate - that the PTA basically went behind everyone's back and is going to use the money to send the Douglas children back to their school. Yes, they can use the money to buy new things, but they will still have issues in that school. It's pure racism and classism.

Devante having a crush on Nadia (I think that's her name?) is super cute.

Loved Lexi and Daisy bonding and Lexi seeing that sometimes guilting people into things works just as well as being fake-nice. Though, you think she would have learned that by now.

So, Mac has always struck me as a character that is straight out of a 90s teen sitcom, and he still acts that way. But, I love that the show is trying to show some depth to him: he's acting out for attention from his dad. He has modeled his whole personality after his dad's high school personality in order to get attention. It's a storyline that has been done a million times (and will be done a million more times), but it fits his character.

1.09: All in the Hall

The Douglas principal saying that every few years people try and come in to "save" the school ,but than get bored and leave, because they've already gotten what they want - to feel good about themselves? Yeah, I felt that. It was so true to life, the way people rush into some new cause and than abandon it once they have gotten praise or its no longer trendy.

So happy to see Principal Toddman standing up Jade and sticking up for his students. He and Devante should have more scenes together. I like how they play off one another. I really just love Devante - he's probably my favorite.

Aisha finding a way to stay at the school via sports was very smart, but I can also see how Daisy would see it as selfish. Aisha does have a way of thinking about herself first and than others after. I think that has to do with her ultracompetitive nature - she wants to win, even if it mean leaving others behind.

Jamie got a bit more depth in this episode - finally. It was sweet that he wanted Aisha to stay, despite only having dated her for six weeks or so. He went about it completely wrong, but it was sweet. It's good that he sees that he's more emotionally intelligent than anything else.

The Aisha/Jamie stuff - eh. I never felt it to begin with, so it was no big. I'm glad that they sort of acknowledged that while he loves her, she just likes him and it was a relationship built more on physical attraction and sweet moments than anything else. I mean, they are fifteen.

Mac and Lexi feeling empathy and trying to help Daisy was nice. It's clear that they have both grown to care about Daisy (and Devante and to a lesser degree Aisha). I also enjoyed the small tease of Mac/Lexi with them both agreeing that they would totally hook up, because they are both so hot. Who doesn't love two shallow people admitting they are shallow? Though, I still think the writers are slowly - maybe - setting up something with Mac/Daisy. Maybe. Possibly.

I laughed out loud when Daisy ran into Jean (or is it Dave?) at city hall and he just kept denying that they had met before, but they clearly had.

Daisy's breakdown and her nearly doing drugs and the group hug - complete with Jamie discussing some random talent show we never saw (a jab at the original show airing episodes out of order?) - was just so classic teen sitcom. I loved that they pulled back from that by showing Mac reaching for the joint during the group hug.

1.10: Showdown

Overall the season was much better then I thought it would be and I'm really hoping that they are able to work in a season 2. I don't know if they could do several seasons, but I think they could probably do 2-3 more seasons of 8-10 episodes each. They still have a lot to focus on: relationships, class differences, the fall of the Morris family, Jessie's marriage breaking down and how that plays out with Jamie and even Slater, etc.

I really liked the two throw away lines of: Zack asking "Remember Tori?" and Kelly responding with a confused: "Huh?" and then Kelly quickly telling Mac that his father is not Jeff.

I wouldn't say Zack learned a valuable lesson, so much as he realized that he only wanted to stay Governor because he didn't want to be a loser. Which I guess is a lesson in a way, but he's still a bit of a slime ball.

I'm so glad that Slater told Jessie he was sorry for teasing her in high school because she protested and that he's happy today's teenagers are more willing to speak out about their beliefs. And, I'm even happier that Jessie stood up to her stupid and selfish husband.

Aisha and Daisy ganging up on Devante and than realizing that the clicks at school need a common enemy was great. What was better was Lexi, who has had the most character grown this season, willingly becoming the scapegoat.

Mac still needs to work on his daddy issues, but he's getting there. Hopefully he and his parents can really bond during quarantine.

Jamie telling Lexi that the only reason he wasn't sure if he wanted to date her was because she's been mean in the past was very sweet. Do I think the show is headed for Lexi/Jamie? Yes. Do I think it will last? No.

I still have a feeling that, at some point, they will do a Mac/Daisy pairing. Or at the very least have Mac develop a crush on Daisy, which will be interesting to see.

Other thoughts: I love that the show was able to poke fun at the clichés, corniness, and weirdness of all the late 80s-early 00s teen sitcoms/dramas that people my age grew up on; while at the same time exploring current day issues, without getting too preachy or pushy. They used pop culture well, without it feeling overly done. Someone else has mentioned in several threads that the show reminds them of the show Community, and I have to agree - it really does have an "early" Community vibe to it. I know a lot of shows are being cancelled or not renewed due to Covid, but I really do hope they give this one a second season. I really want to see where they go next.  

Cast List:

Main Haskiri Velazquez as Daisy Jiménez Mitchell Hoog as Mac Morris Josie Totah as Lexi Haddad-DeFabrizio Alycia Pascual-Peña as Aisha Garcia Belmont Cameli as Jamie Spano Dexter Darden as Devante Young John Michael Higgins as Principal Ronald Toddman Elizabeth Berkley Lauren as Jessie Spano Mario Lopez as A.C. Slater

Recurring Mark-Paul Gosselaar as Zack Morris Tiffani Thiessen as Kelly Morris Ed Alonzo as Max Cheyenne Jackson as René

Guest Lark Voorhies as Lisa Turtle

[theseerasures]

Conspicuous Media Consumption, 2020

it’s that time of year again! *saddest toot from the party horn*

for those of you just joining us: it’s a “consume a different content every week for 48 weeks of the year” challenge. for a longer explanation, check out last year’s write-up here, and as always, feel free to pop in and ask questions about any and all of this content.

(same disclaimer as last year too: content for this project ONLY here, and not certain...*looks at my billion Sad Cop Lady posts*...hyperfixations.)

(man remember when i was big into X-Men comics earlier this year? better times than these, if only because no one's discoursing about Emma Frost’s woobie/war criminal ratio anymore--her w/w, if you will)

(...i swear at one point i didn’t exclusively like platinum blondes but alas)

Bitter Root (comic, 1 issue finished 1/1/2020): still very cool on a basic concept level, but runs into the Image Comics problem of just not having enough content to keep my interest beyond that. part of that is on me, for picking it up again BEFORE the second arc rolled out, but the first five issues didn’t really follow (or resolve) any cohesive story either, so...meh.

Immortal Hulk (comic, 3 trades finished 1/17/2020): still not gonna be something i care deeply about (maybe one of Bruce’s Hulksonas dyed his hair???), but i do want to give kudos to Al Ewing for sheer consistency in terms of sustaining this level of quality storytelling month by month for more than two years now. working with the dense archive of the Hulk mythos and managing to make it interesting and thoughtful is impressive even if i personally would not expend the same effort.

Disco Elysium (game, finished 1/18/2020): honestly i should have twigged onto what this year was gonna be like when the third thing i drew from the barrel was pure uncut Eastern European flavored depression. i faintly recall people ragging on it for being pretentiously cynical, but i actually thought its core slid more towards idealism than people give it credit for. also gratified that i haven’t heard anything about Robert Kurvitz using slave labor to finish it, which is a thing we have to say about our video games now!!! fun.

Watchmen (TV, 7 episodes finished 1/27/2020): i am a fool who wants to believe in Damon Lindelof and I WAS RIGHT!!! honestly still cannot believe that he pulled off this highwire act with such deft aplomb. might be my favorite TV this year, which is a pretty high bar given how much TV i ended up watching.

On a Sunbeam (comic, finished 2/1/2020): Tillie Walden rightly deserves all the praise for inventive queer storytelling, but i will say that on reread--since i first read this as a webcomic--there ARE some issues with pacing here that clearly come from the foibles of its original intended medium. still just excellent, even if after some plot significant haircuts i was having trouble telling a few folks apart.

Lazarus (comic, 1 trade finished 2/8/2020): it’s so good and i want moooooorrrreee--though obviously Rucka and Lark have the right to take all the time they need. the newer longer issues work really well with the epic prestige drama vibes of the story! i’m into it.

The Good Place (TV, 4 seasons finished 2/18/2020): i’m gonna be super honest: i actually wasn’t a big fan of the finale, nor the last season as a whole. it felt like all of Eleanor’s flaws vanished for a majority of the season, and the Chidi-centric episode where they tried to give a legible justification for why he’s Like This was...i didn’t care for it. still, it’s so good and unique on the WHOLE that we’ll literally never get anything like this ever again, and that counts for a lot.

The Old Republic (game, finished 2/21/2020): it’s an MMO so it will never actually Be Finished so long as the servers aren’t shut down, but i caught up on the content i’d missed in the intervening months. Onslaught thus far has mostly been...kinda bland tbh; going back to Imps vs. Rebs after all the shakeups in the previous expansions feels like a waste.

High Road (album, finished 2/22/2020): someone should tell Kesha not to say that word!! otherwise i was very happy with this album, and happy FOR her even though we don’t know each other. being able to find joy again in the same genre of music you made while you were being horrifically exploited is very cool.

Young Justice (TV, 13 episodes finished 2/28/2020): given how much the middle stuff dragged--STOP KILLING YOUR HIJABI CHARACTER IN HORRIFIC WAYS--i was...actually kinda mad by how the end managed to stick the landing anyway. the day being saved by Vic’s self-acceptance and Violet’s sublime compassion was A+, and even the Brion/Tara switchup was a pleasant surprise, though it relied on me caring about Brion MUCH MORE than i actually did.

Manic (album, finished 2/29/2020): do people still care for/about Halsey? i feel like even That One Song that was on every tumblr gifset ever has kinda faded into obscurity at this point. this album was...okay. i feel like people give Halsey a pass for extremely obvious lyrical turns that they wouldn’t for other folks because of her subject material--which is fine. not really my cup of tea, but i also listened to lots of Relient K this year, so that’s probably a good thing.

Jade Empire (game, 3/10/2020): the only 3D-era Bioware game that didn’t franchise out, and for good fucking reason!!! the Orientalism and appropriation really haven’t aged well, and even beyond that the story was...standard Bioware faire. even my usual “my wife’s a bitch i love her” Bioware type didn’t do it for me, and i just ended up romancing no one. it did make me think a lot about what level of cultural borrowing is accepted nowadays, and why: people still look fondly at Avatar and talk about how ~accurate and respectful it was, for example, despite it being staffed almost entirely by white folks, and the Orientalism ALL OVER the monk class in DND is still fine for some reason.

Alif the Unseen (book, finished 3/31/2020): interesting to have read this AFTER reading The Bird King last year, because it highlights how the intervening years have shifted G. Willow Wilson’s thematic interest and improved her craft. i’m actually quite fond of how her characterization work is rougher here--Alif is extremely flawed to the point of being insufferable, but it makes his development by the end more satisfying. Dina is also just good and i love her

Baldur’s Gate (2 games, finished 5/31/2020): well, having finally finished the series i’m happy to say that it...still doesn’t really do it for me, sorry. any awesome story moments were overshadowed by the EXCRUCIATING inventory management system and the combat (i still don’t know what a THAC0 is and at this point i’m afraid to find out). these games crucially lack the Home Base that later Bioware games were so good about, and that (coupled with the huge cast of characters you can drop off and never see again) really hurts the intimacy for me. by the time we finally did get one it was the Hell Dimension in Throne of Bhaal, and i was just...trying to get through it. (yes, i did just say that about one of the most beloved expansions ever to one of the most beloved games ever.) THIS particular iteration of “my wife’s a bitch i love her” was very good, but the game wouldn’t let me romance her :(

The Underground Railroad (book, finished 6/19/2020): honestly what is there even left to say at this point! it was exactly as good as every critic on the planet said it was, even with my usual aversion to hype. draining and horrifying in turns but still insistent upon a future for Black folks.

Steven Universe (6 seasons and a mooooooviiieeee, finished 7/11/2020): yes, i DID finish the show and almost immediately begin a rewatch. this series is now one of my top five most formative things, and the amount of love and respect i have for it is incalculable. that said: i once again did not love how the central conflict of Future was resolved (just the resolution--i loved the finale just fine). for all of Steven’s breakdown was built up, resolving it with “EVERYONE HUG HIM UNTIL HE CRIES” felt...cheap, especially since up until this point the show had been so good about treating trauma and mental illness with the respect and nuance it deserves. it made me wish some of the earlier, less substantial episodes had been cut so we could spend more time at the end.

What It Is (comic, finished 8/19/2020): y’all i love Lynda Barry SO MUCH. for the longest time i was worried that One Hundred Demons was more a lightning in a bottle situation but every book of hers i pick up makes me feel obscure emotions i didn’t even realize existed. the compassionate way she’s able to describe her child self and how weird and fucked up she was (and still is) is honestly aspirational.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (TV, 5 seasons finished 9/26/2020): so here’s a reversal of what i’ve been complaining about with other shows: i was mostly lukewarm-to-warm about She-Ra, but the later seasons and the finale made me much more into it as a whole. more shows should improve in stakes and overall quality as they age tbh!! i still don’t actively love Catradora (my sole quibble with season 5 actually has to do with the way Adora kept backsliding as a character to make certain Plot/Relationship things happen), but i’m very happy for them nonetheless. i can certainly appreciate a show that will go for High Feeling over tight plot. dark horse standout moments: trees growing everywhere proving that Perfuma Was Right, and Hordak and Adora seeing each other--that weirdly intimate moment of recognition.

Fetch the Bolt Cutters (album, finished 10/7/2020): again i find myself not having much to say that no one else has said. it’s good! once again love it when an artist reclaims something they’d attached with negative affect (anxiety, depression, disordered eating) for better and brighter things.

Solutions and Other Problems (comic, finished 10/25/2020): i was very into Allie Brosh’s ambition with this book, which feels weird to say but i stand by it. it’s cool to see an artist try to make a new medium work for them instead of just sticking to what already works. not all the experimentation was 100% effective, but it was still delightful and occasionally devastating to read, so.

Legend of Zelda (3 games: Ocarina of Time, Majora’s Mask, Link Between Worlds, finished 11/1/2020): this was the third time i’d played Ocarina of Time, which made it the nice, comforting groove i settled into before Majora’s Mask blatted me in the face. i’m not usually a completionist Zelda person because...the gameplay in Zelda is bad, do not at me it just is, but i really felt like i HAD to be one for Majora’s Mask since the whole point is to get attached to the banalities of the town. i’m sure nobody’s surprised that i loved it, even if it gave me an existential crisis about how life goes on in the game for NPCs when you’re not there to save them from it, and there’s not enough time to save them all all the time (also not a surprise to anyone: Romani and Cremia gave Personal Feelings). Link Between Worlds...bad. not like in a “this is a bad story by every measurable gauge” way, but i was already struggling with the 2D playstyle shift enough that for the whole story to end with some “yes it’s v sad that Lorule is Like This but trying to steal Hyrule’s privilege is Even Worse Actually” noblesse oblige bullshit left a VERY poor taste in my mouth, this year of all years. i did audibly gasp when Ravio took off his mask, though. i’m currently playing Breath of the Wild in cautious increments; it’s the first time i’ve enjoyed early Zelda gameplay, but if they wanted fully voiced cutscenes i wish they got voice actors who...knew what words sound like.

folklore (album, finished 11/6/2020): my belief that Taylor Swift is Just Fine continues, i’m afraid. i LIKED this album, don’t get me wrong, and respect her constant drive to innovate, but i didn’t love it substantially more or less than any other Taylor Swift album. mostly i’m just tickled by how she thinks leaning into the indie aesthetic means borrowing Vita Sackville-West’s entire wardrobe, though i will admit to feeling Something when she swore in a song. i think it was like. savage vindication?? you go ahead and swear, Taylor Swift. you deserve it.

Shore (album, finished 11/19/2020): do people still care about the Fleet Foxes? i think there was some Drama with Josh Tillman a while back but i don’t remember where the discourse landed with who was being more problematic. it was nostalgic for me to listen to their new album--made me remember being an undergrad who exclusively listened to men who mumbled and played acoustic guitar all over again.

Star Wars (3 movies: original trilogy, finished 11/27/2020): there is So Much bad Star Wars these days that every time i rewatch the original trilogy i’m afraid that they will suddenly be bad, but guess what! they’re not. i love these children and their hot mess stories, i love that Lando doesn’t know how to say his best friend’s name. what stood out to me this time was the way Obi-Wan described the Force in A New Hope, which strongly implied that ANYONE can be Force Sensitive; that obviously faded with each subsequent movie, but part of me does wish they’d kept it.

X of Swords (comics, 22 issues finished 12/5/2020): i am enjoying Hickman’s X-lines!!! not so much here for the Grand Conspiracy or whatever, but the character work and highkey weirdness is fabulous--they FEEL like X-Men, despite all the shakeups in-universe. this crossover is a nice microcosm of all that: grandiloquently all over the place, but still full of cool standout moments and genuine hilarity. ILLYANA DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO SPELL MAGIC.

Fire Emblem (4 games: Sacred Stones, Path of Radiance, Radiant Dawn, Awakening, finished 12/14/2020): this was the thing that i was closest to giving up early on, but i ended up hyperfixating on it instead. that’s a credit to what the gameplay does to my lizard brain more than anything else, because the story and character writing is...insipid. it was very bizarre to witness this franchise blunder around with its animal-people racism allegory around the same time i was getting back into RWBY, and ITS animal-people racism allegory blunders. Awakening was the first time i felt anything for the franchise beyond “teehee red units disappear make exp bar go up and brain go ding,” so i’m excited for more mature storytelling in subsequent games (they MUST get better. they MUST). the child husbandry thing is...very bad tho, and Apotheosis being “challenging” entirely through the game changing all the rules is also bad.

once again no vidya games that came out this year--i’ll probably pick up Spiritfarer or Hades after the New Year, though (or maybe TLOU II! but probably not. sry Laura and Ashley). more TV and franchises this year, which made me feel In Touch with the Children but was also kinda exhausting. nothing was so egregiously terrible i dropped it without finishing! in a year like this that feels almost like an accomplishment

[lassostark]

Witcher!AU

hey, guys! this is gonna be a bit lengthy, so please bear with me. i’ve been working on a Witcher!AU fic this past week. been writing non-stop and so far i’ve written almost 18k+ words.

before i continue, i want to point out that i’ve gotten a bit obsessed with Taylor Swift since listening to her “Lover” album and watched “Miss Americana” at the beginning of the year. that said, everyone knows the highs & lows of her journey. Then it got me thinking of other musicians who had it good for a while until Something Happened in their lives/careers and it caused a major setback (i.e. Britney Spears, Robbie Williams, Gary Barlow to name a few).

going back to my Witcher!AU, a plot bunny started to form around roughly two months ago about a story of a Musician!Jaskier who became famous at a young age after forming a band with his siblings called Modern Minstrels. They started with covering songs of famous artists until Jaskier wrote his first song. Fast forward to a few years and our favorite bard ends up with a highly successful solo career. until, y’know, Stuff Happens.

my fic is basically a cinematic-like approach of storytelling detailing the life & career of Jaskier. and yes, he IS going to meet and fall in love with one Geralt of Rivia. from what i’ve written so far, you guys are in for a treat. 😉the fic is also going to feature some original songs. i’ve already written a few and i’m excited and terrified to share it. if one good thing can come out of this fucking pandemic, it’s having the luxury of time to sit and create.

also some stuff to consider: Triss Merigold as his long-suffering publicist, social media content, Found Family, Mutual Pining, UST, Jaskier being a little shit basically, Valdo Marx, The Countess, BAMF!Jaskier, Soft!Geralt, and more

now, if anyone’s interested, i would really, REALLY LOVE AND APPRECIATE it if you could share your thoughts. i know the info i’ve given isn’t much, but spoilers, darlings. 😀

tagging my fav witcher blogs: @witcher-and-his-bard @korrmin @wicked-game-black-butler @lutes-and-dandelions @dandeliongeralt @jaskieriest @witchersjaskier @jaskier-wearing-dresses @jaskierisbaby @mydarlingwitcher @the-winter-witcher @love-and-larks-and-white-wolves @witchernonsense @marvelousmaize @jaskiersvalley​ @merthurlocked​ @sapphicwitcher​ @lankygeralt​

[deltaengineering]

Fall Anime 2019 Part 4: also, he has a gun for a head

Beastars

So here’s the CG anime that everyone for some reason decided way in advance would be the best show of the season, more or less by default. I was very skeptical of this for a multitude of reasons. First of all, that is a bad name for a show and you can’t convince me otherwise. It’s actually even worse because you’re supposed to write it in all caps, but I refuse. Second, it has a terribly on the nose conceit in which all sorts of animals live together in a high school setting and it’s all metaphorical ‘n shit. The main character is a wolf but get this, he’s actually all sensitive and quiet! Yeah, this is definitely rated D for Deep. And finally it’s by Orange, the CG studio that got an inordinate amount of acclaim for making Houseki no Kuni, the show that everyone thinks looks great and finally made CG anime worthwhile (actual real fact: HnK does not look great most of the time and CG anime was worthwhile well before it). 

But enough about my preconceptions since Beastars is... pretty good, actually. If you ignore the setting, which is indeed terribly on the nose. And there’s not much else to say about the story so far besides it. However, it looks significantly better than Houseki no Kuni because it actually has really good character animation throughout instead of a one-minute action scene with flashy spinny camera tricks every other episode. The directing’s strong too, even if the show conspicuously mainly consists of obvious manga panels. I’m still not too hot on the animal stuff but the general writing seems to be sufficiently competent it would work simply on a character level. So I don’t love it, but it seems solid enough to see if it goes somewhere with its “Zootopia but also Beverly Hills 90210 but also they eat each other sometimes″ plot.

Rifle is Beautiful

Remember the whole “anime about some assorted anime girls joining a club doing an oddly specific activity” thing? This is another one of those, and now it’s about air rifle sports shooting. Except it’s not about air rifle sports shooting because that’s apparently way too violent, so they use rifles that look like exactly like air rifles but are actually based on lasers or really bright flashlights (they can’t keep their bullshit straight between scenes, sorry) instead. I just don’t think “girls doing activities” anime should blatantly misrepresent their subject matter like that, you know? With the possible exception of idol anime that is, ain’t nobody who wants to hear about that shit. Apart from that it’s nothing special, so if you are really into air rifles and wish to watch an anime that’s not about those, knock yourself out. It goes through a whole “club needs 5 members” arc in the first half of the first episode, so I really can’t say where it goes next. Nowhere much, I would guess.

Oh right, there’s one more thing: They frequently render the bodies in CG and the heads in traditional drawings, and they do it every time when they’d actually have to draw a rifle otherwise. It’s a weird effect that I think I haven’t seen anywhere else before, and it’s not great but also not terrible. And it’s the most interesting thing about the entire show.

Kabukicho Sherlock

“Let’s take a bunch of public domain characters and put them into a hip modern setting” seems to be its own genre at the moment, and not only because the BBC did that with S. Holmes, Esq. already. Obviously this show is influenced by that (besides other public domain namedroppers like Bungou Stray Dogs), mostly in Watson and his relationship with Sherlock, but Sherlock-san is rather different here; he’s neither the classic Victorian bohemian nor the abrasive sociopath of the BBC version, and tends more towards a bumbling 90s pop culture version of autism and/or general wackiness here. These two are surrounded by a bunch of campy transvestites for some reason, and I’m not quite sure whether I’m supposed to find this particular stereotype offensive or empowering this week, but it sure is annoying. And it has the same character designer as Joker Game, so if you like chiseled, angular anime men, you’re in for a treat here - even if they tend to wear a lot of makeup and dresses sometimes. I don’t know man, it seems sort of okay-ish for the most part but it’s neither as funny as they think, nor as weird as they think, nor is the murder of the week intriguing at all. Oh yeah, he’s hunting noted public domain character Jack the Ripper. Because of course he is.

 Shin Chuuka Ichiban!

I am told this is the sequel to episode 19 of a 52-episode anime TV show from 1997. Okay. I am also told to not dare watch this without the important setup therein, which makes me think I should pay less attention to what I’m told because understanding Shin Chuuka Ichiban and its backstory is not hard at all. Kid is superawesome cooking champion in ancient China and goes around clowning on lesser cooks, got it. It’s not a complicated setup and it’s not a complicated genre either: This seems to be mostly about sick shounen cooking duels. Besides the setting, the main difference between this and Shokugeki no Soma seems to be that SnS goes for ridiculous and Chuuka Ichiban goes for epic - which is to say that it fancies itself emotional as well. Apart from that it’s what you’d expect from a cooking shounen, big moves, big reactions, huge twists and so on. One notable thing is that this show looks really, really nice. Production I.G seems to be establishing a sideline in taking stuff from the 90s and updating it with smoother animation and shinier lighting, while keeping the overall look intact; They did it for Mahoujin Guru Guru, and this looks much the same. Still, I’m just fundamentally not really interested in what appears to be a very straightforward cooking shounen from the 90s.

Assassins Pride

Straight from the Department of Chuuni, we have this light novel masterpiece about a cool as fuck teenage assassin who teleports behind u and nothin personells fools all day. He then meets a princess he’s supposed to off but just kinda decides not to, probably because she seems to be smitten by his m’lady act. Now he has to use his sick skillz to keep them both alive. It’s awful and terrible and no good and also kind of adorable. This truly is the most 13 AND A HALF MOM years old anime in a while, and it’s not even isekai! The writing’s just so amateurish and corny you can’t help but smile when princesses exposit their backstory for no reason while being accosted by pumpkin monsters (without knowing that Awessassin McCooldude happens to be listening in, which is certainly convenient). Or when the episode ends with the man just reading the synopsis of the show out again, in case you were too fascinated by this plot to pay attention to what it’s about. Yeah I’m not going to watch this in a thousand years, but it sure made me chuckle. Your mileage may vary.

Mugen no Juunin - Immortal

Speaking of 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔢𝔱𝔦𝔢𝔰 𝔢𝔡𝔤𝔢, another anime adaptation of Blade of the Immortal appeared! You know, the manga for the cultured and historically minded guro fan. The first episode of Blade of the Immortal runs with this and is an arthouse production that someone most definitely directed the shit out of. I don’t think I’ve seen this much directing since, well, Sarazanmai, but “Ikuhara amounts of directing” is pretty much the idea here. And most of the time it even works! The quickly edited, disorienting style gives episode 1 a feeling closer to horror than to a cool swordmen action show, and that really brings out the best in the material, which is grotesque splatter bordering on the comical - It’s somehow a better Junji Ito anime than the actual Junji Ito anime. I think it tries too hard in a few places, but at least it does try.

But then I watched the second episode and that one’s a fairly conventional splatter-comedy swordin’ anime. I am not at all pleased with this development. The third episode was better again and seemed to split the difference between 1 and 2, even if it mostly uses the tricky editing to save on effort in the action –  I would much prefer actually readable fights and the wacky mannerisms in the more psychological stuff, thank you very much. Based on episode 1 I thought we might have something special here, but as of episode 3 I’d already merely call it pretty decent. I guess I’ll still stick with it but man, that’s a real bummer.

No Guns Life

No Guns Life is a neo-noir thriller about a guy who has a gun for a head. That’s fuckin rad and exactly the kind of silliness I am totally down for. He also has a gun for a hand, and there’s also some battle nun’s who carry revolvers with two cylinders, so in short I think the title is false advertising. This sounds very wacky (and it is), but it also takes its noir very seriously, down to details more wannabe neo-noirs tend to neglect (like being set right after a big war). The look and feel is pretty excellent, with sharp design and high-contrast artwork, and the music goes all in on the moody saxophone as you’d expect. And there’s some really adorable “look mom, I’m writing” stuff about how Man With Gun For A Head really “needs someone to pull his trigger” and so on (which is, as the astute reader might remember, at the back of his head). It feels like a throwback but then I can’t really think of many 80s/90s shows like this, so it’s actually more like the sort of faux-retro idea Trigger/Imaishi would come up with on a lark. Trigger/Imaishi would, of course, make a far worse anime out of it, so it’s all good. Well, it has some pacing problems and as always it’s a fine line between amusingly camp and not so amusingly camp anymore, but No Guns Life seems to have enough real qualities that it can probably stand on its own even when its conceptual gimmick eventually doesn’t suffice anymore. I give it a two gun’s up.

Hoshiai no Sora / Stars Align

And finally, here’s an anime about middle schooler softboys playing a tennis just as soft as themselves, while being henpecked by the elites on the girl’s team. This is not an “actual” sports anime though: for starters, it’s not based on some shounen manga and is an anime original with quite some staff pedigree instead. It’s also more of a character drama that already goes to some surprisingly real places by the end of episode 1, reminiscent of the recent and quite good Run with the Wind. Furthermore, it looks delicious, with minimalist but distinctive and varied character designs and animation that’s both extremely detailed for a TV anime and also not trying to shove that fact into your face with flashy stunt cuts. In short, this show seems very simple at first glance but every aspect of it just oozes quality. If nothing else, it’s already worth watching just for the excellent ending sequence where the characters show off their “best” dance moves and the chunky student council president dunks on everyone. This one caught me by surprise and it’s an easy pick for most promising show of the season.

[pellicano-sanguino]

There’s a small movie theater in my parents’ home city that shows recordings of operas and ballets. Went to see a Dracula ballet there yesterday with my mother. It was...   an interesting experience.

This is the same ballet but the characters look different, so maybe this was a different casting than the one we saw.

Dracula isn’t an easy story to tell with just mute dancing. I should have sat next to my mother so I could have whispered to her plot explanations along the way. It was also a bit hard to tell all the male characters apart, they all dressed the same and looked equally bland and ugly (with the exception of Dracula and Renfield of course. They were ugly too, as they should be, but they were very recognizable). I was sad they left out Quincey (what do people have against him, he’s always left out). Come on, why would you miss an opportunity to have a ballet cowboy?

The dancing was very beautiful and imaginative. I was especially impressed with all the clever, athletic, almost acrobatic lifts. I wish I could see more lifts like these in zuka, instead of the same old pick-you-up-and-twirl-around lift, but I understand why they probably don’t want to try these. Despite many zuka actresses having history with ballet lessons, professional ballet takes the dancing to a whole new level and requires such extraordinary muscle work and precise skills, actresses in zuka simply can’t put that much time and energy to perfect their dancing when they also have to take care of acting and singing.

Which brings me to the unintentionally comical side of this ballet. The acting. Or more honestly, the lack of acting. The same problem I’ve had with the few operas I’ve seen. Opera singers are singers first and foremost, they are not actors. Ballet dancers put all their energy to perfect their dancing, they don’t do acting. The dancing was incredible and the body language was very expressive at times but if I happened to look at the dancers’ faces, they tended to have silly, exaggerated expressions or a dull, soulless, blank stare. Jonathan in particular was like a lifeless puppet all through his visit to Dracula’s castle, staring into space, very much Not There. The opposite of the soulless stare was the Temper Tantrum. Whenever a character was angry, scared, anxious etc. they twisted their faces into grotesque grimaces and wrung their hands like a toddler having temper tantrum. I know it was supposed to look dramatic but seeing an adult behave like an infant was just silly.

They had two separate guys performing the old-as-a-mummy Dracula and the rejuvenated-by-blood-drinking Dracula. The first one was impressive for his lively dancing. He jumped and leaped and climbed and crawled all around the floors, walls, furniture and Jonathan like a rabid squirrel. It was cool to see the scene where Dracula lizard-crawls down the castle wall, I’m always disappointed when the movies leave it out (which they do way too often). I suppose the latter must be sexy by het standards (I don’t see the appeal, but they make him remove his shirt quite often and I’m sure that’s for fanservice reasons). 

My favourite in this show has to be Lucy. She is an amazing dancer and gets some really cool numbers. In many adaptations Lucy becomes bedridden once infected by Dracula’s bite, but here she remains active while slowly transforming into a vampire. And that means her dance style changes. This version of the story has a rather sexist view of the curse of vampirism, that the proper, graceful and dainty ladies will be corrupted by it and become fierce, strong-willed and arrogant (god forbid women be anything but silent, sweet little decorations). Lucy’s new dancing causes quite a scandal in the ball room. Eventually she does calm down and fall ill, and the gentlemen try to save her by blood transfusions. I really like that they included Lucy’s blood transfusions, those get cut in many versions and it’s a shame because it shows the compassion Lucy’s suitors have for her (trying to save her even though she turned them down) and it makes Lucy’s death so much more sad and hopeless (they give her new blood again and again, getting their hopes up for her recovery, but the parasite preying on Lucy is insatiable). 

As usual they try to set up a romance between Dracula and Mina. I’m sorry but this just doesn’t work, ever. I mean, yes, you can definitely see some kind of chemistry between them, a fascinating relationship between a brave heroine and a heartless villain, but trying to make it romantic kinda doesn’t work when Dracula just murdered Mina’s best friend. Mina is just not the kind of person to overlook all the horrible shit Dracula has done, excusing everything just because he’s sexy. The only way for there to be a romance between them would be for two reasons - 1. Dracula brainwashes Mina by vampire hypnosis. Not very romantic. 2. Mina is actually a horrible person willing to throw all of her friends and loved ones and all of humanity under the bus just to bang a handsome vampire. 

This stupid romance feels especially wrong when they turn the scene where Dracula drinks Mina’s blood and then violently forcefeeds her his own into a consensual and sexy bedroom scene. In the book, it was a terrifying and disturbing scene, but every adaptation wants to make it romantic. I don’t mind them making it sexy, let’s face it, vampires today are sex symbols and blood drinking has been used as a sex metaphor for ages, so I don’t mind that, really. But why must there be romantic music playing while it’s happening, as if this is a “It’s a nightingale, Romeo, not a lark.” type of scene. The music used was actually the same music that plays in Lucifer’s Tears when Lucifer dances with Lilith (it’s some classical song, don’t remember its name) and that distracted me greatly. 

I was also disappointed that they made Mina suicide herself after Dracula has been killed. Mina’s recovery, the return of her humanity, should have ended the story with a hopeful note, that though some truly scary things exist in this world, it is worth to have courage and fight the monsters who seek to prey upon innocents. With Mina dead, it all feels hopeless and meaningless. Sure, they saved Dracula’s future victims by killing him, but the monster’s corruptive influence reached Mina even after his death, convincing her that she can’t live without the monster than killed her best friend. Dracula dies, but he still wins, taking both Lucy and Mina down with him.

Yes, vampires can be romantic heroes. I am a huge fan of romantic vampire stuff. But Dracula is not one of them. I’ve said it before and will say it again; Dracula does not aishiteiru.

[christinaroseandrews]

How Line Editing Can Make Your Story Stronger -- From a Line Editor

Hi everyone! If you follow this blog and read our book reviews then you know a lot of times one of our big complaints is the story could use a better editor. We don’t often state what kind of editing is needed (unless it’s a proofreader/copy editor), but a lot of the time what’s needed is a line edit.

So what is a line edit?

A line edit is where an editor (or an author if they aren’t too close to the writing) goes through the text with a fine tooth comb looking for things that bog the text down. Things like repetitive phrasing, weak verbs/words, similar sentence structure. Line edits look for overused words, cliches, and telling vs. showing.

A line edit is not a content edit. It is not a developmental edit. It is not a sensitivity edit. It’s not a proofread/copy edit.

Its purpose is to make your prose stronger. More interesting. While leaving the core plots, words, and ideas.

So how does it work?

Well... I’m going to show you using a U.S.A. Today Bestselling author’s opening 300 words. This is not my writing. I am using a very small sample as an example for educational purposes. 

Now that the fair use jargon is out of the way. Here we go.

----

I happened across this while trying to find something to read. I didn’t like the opening, and I couldn’t figure out why. So I took off my reader’s hat, put on my editor’s hat, fired up google docs, and got to work.

When I was done, I had a document that looked something like this:

Let’s break this down. (You also get to see my fandom name, which I am very open about so if you like reading Hunger Games AUs or Soulmates stuff or a diary fic where Tom Riddle gives Ginny Weasley the facts of life you can hunt me down!)

First Paragraph:

The opening starts in the wrong place and doesn’t flow smoothly.  And I noticed pretty early on that this author (assuming it isn’t a ghostwriter which is possible considering the author’s release schedule of 10+ books a year) has very repetitive phrasing. 

Now onto the second paragraph of my edit.

One of the first things I noticed were the weak verbs. The repeated “Walk” permutations. And, of course, the similar sentence structure. I also wanted to break it up. Add some drama. Heighten the tension. And you can do that with short paragraphs and even one sentence paragraphs. Here are my edits and rationales.

All of that I parsed from the original first paragraph. The words are still mostly Croix’s (or her ghostwriter’s), I just moved a few around, tightened a few verbs, and got rid of what looked like unintentional repetition.

Now we’re onto the original second paragraph which has a lot going on with it. Like the original first paragraph, the second needs a lot of work to make it flow nicely. (It also needed a proofreader, but we’ll get to that.)

It may not look like I changed much, but I what I did change mattered.

the last two edits are technically a sensitivity edit, but it’s a very minor one. It’s more about making Harper a little more real.

The last tells me this wasn’t proofread. There’s more wrong tenses in this.

And there’s two more grammar errors and another mistake that tells me that the person writing this wasn’t British and didn’t use a Brit-picker. When editing, any editor worth their salt will ask you what vernacular you’re going for. While technically not part of a line edit, most line editors will point this kind of thing out. And this is where I get annoyed -- if fanfic authors (particularly in the Harry Potter fandom) who write for fun are expected to have Brit-pickers (and vice versa) the same should be expected for published works. *gets off the soapbox*

On to the why I stopped for a grammar lesson about commas... Basically if there is only one of something be it a book, a brother, or a fiancee as is the case here, commas need to be used to set them off because it is considered non-essential information. There’s a really good guide HERE that explains why - just jump to rule 6.

Continuing with this paragraph.

I want to point out, the way this author did the flashback wasn’t bad. It just needed to be set off more and put in the right tense. People do have flashbacks. This is how you do them.

To finish up we have this.

That’s the first 300 words of J.H. Croix’s Big Win.

So what does the finished line edit look like?

I think it’s tighter. More dramatic and a better hook. The words are still mostly Croix’s (or her ghostwriter, I’m not judging) but they’re now stronger. I took out the unintentional repetition. I hit a few grammar problem spots (right now this book would be heading toward losing a star for the grammar errors alone).

It may look like I rewrote the thing, but I didn’t. I used what was there. These aren’t my words. Sure I added a sentence here and there, but mostly for clarification or to combine two clunky sentences into one.

Also with line edits, most of the suggestions are just that -- suggestions. It’s an opinion. If the author decided that they liked the wall of text and subject-verb-direct object sentence structure, then that’s okay. They don’t have to take the changes. However, what is important is that the author looks at them. Thinks about them. In many cases a line edit can help pinpoint what I call ‘crutches.’ Every writer, EVERY SINGLE WRITER, has a go-to sentence structure. Every single writer has a favorite rule they like to break. Every single writer has words they default to or use as filler. And most writers don’t have the distance to see these things.

That’s why you need a line editor. It’s a huge eye-opener. Even I, a line editor, still get line edits done for my work.

Also a few final notes: you’ll notice I did some proofreading and sensitivity editing in my line edit. That’s because I tend to see them as going hand-in-hand. They don’t always, and it can vary from editor to editor. Line editing is also more in-depth than proofreading for most editors so will take longer.  A good rule of thumb is that a professional editor can edit approximately 5-9 pages an hour for copy editing or 1500 words/hour. Content editing tends to be 1-5 pages an hour or about 750 words/hour. This will also vary from editor to editor. Here’s a good guide... no matter what do not expect someone to be able to turn around 50,000 word manuscript in a week that may be approximately 34 hours of work, but most editors have other jobs, other clients, and may need to pause to research something... especially if your editor is fact-checking for rooting out anachronisms (which we do in the line edit phase).

No matter what, you should always have another set of eyes do one last proofread/copy edit after you do a line edit. And it shouldn’t be your line editor. They’re too close to the text, and it’s not their job to go that granular.

I hope that helps! 

If you like more posts like this, consider buying us a coffee. If you want to look into hiring us to edit your work, you can visit our website.

Later!

--Lark/FanficAllergy/One Half of Christina Rose Andrews

[thisonesatellite]

Fic: a life more ordinary -- CH 5

...is it me, or is every time you post something you write a little bit like offering up a piece of yourself on a chopping block? Most of the responses i get are truly lovely, and yet i still feel like that. Every. Time.

Well, here goes nothing.

@profdanglaisstuff - i am finally getting around to the interesting stuff, plot-wise.  i guess.  Took me long enough.  Have i thanked you lately?  Because i SHOULD.  This has been such a loooooooooooooong long road...

CH 1 & 2  |   CH 3  |  CH 4  |  AO3  

CHAPTER 5

The owner of the white Ford checks his phone and grimaces. Then he types another message.

Not yet. Can’t get her alone.

It’s the same message he has been sending the past few days, and he’s getting impatient. His employer is getting impatient. He growls in frustration and goes back to watching the sliding glass doors of the clinic.

  When they exit the hospital Emma feels a thousand pounds lighter. Killian next to her is actually whistling. On a lark she folds her hand into his, holds it as they walk – for all the world to see.

He doesn’t look at her, but he holds her hand back, and the left corner of his mouth quirks up.

That’s how they arrive at the diner.

And of course that's where everything falls apart.

It happens as they open the door.

A jolt goes through Killian and he stops dead in his tracks. When Emma looks back at him, he has gone pale. His eyes are riveted to a point over her right shoulder.

So she turns around. And sees. A booth with four occupants.

A tall man with close-cropped dark hair is in the process of getting up. Next to him is a woman, laughing. On her lap is an infant. And a blond man with his back to them is starting to turn his head.

Killian is rooted to the spot as the diner door closes softly behind him. He’s staring at the dark-haired man as if they were the only two people in the room.

The man simply nods at him and says, “Killian.” It’s quiet, and yet Emma can feel the reaction ripple through Killian. Tension pulls back his shoulders until his whole body feels brittle and taut. Emma tries to pull her hand out of his grasp, but he won’t let her. If anything, his grip becomes tighter.

It matches his voice when he starts to speak. “Liam,” he says. Just that one word. But it seems to carry unspeakable weight.

So this is Liam.

When Killian starts to walk over to the table, he just pulls her along with him.

The woman looks at Killian with a smile and sparkling eyes and also says “Killian!” but it’s in an entirely different tone of voice. She is happy to see him. Her smile is lovely and welcoming. When Killian looks at her, his face changes to match her warm smile. He even waves at the boy on her knee, before his gaze once again locks with his brother’s.

“What are you doing here?” His tone is not welcoming. It is GoAway in a nutshell. Emma tries to extricate her hand one more time, but Killian’s grip has turned to iron.

Liam raises an eyebrow. “I called Ed and he said you've been here a week. Started your new job. So I thought we’d come down to see you.”

There is a wealth of accusation in that statement. The subtext between the brothers is so loud, it might as well run as closed captioning.

The woman breaks the tension. “Liam,” she says, “please sit down. And Killian, I’m so happy to see you. I’ve been telling Dylan all about you.” With that she lifts the child off her lap and holds him out to Killian. The boy opens his arms and the tension in Killian’s body melts away. He looks at Emma and squeezes her hand before he lets it go and then crouches. His smile is genuine as he says, “hi, Wendy, I missed you.”

And then holds out his finger. The newly-introduced Dylan grabs it immediately and then gurgles and smiles; and Killian’s voice goes soft as he says, “so you’re Dylan then, are you? How are you, my boy?”

Then he winks and the boy sputters a laugh and Emma’s chest tightens as something warm and wonderful tugs at her insides. Killian reaches out and picks up his nephew as if he’d never done anything but hold children his entire life and Emma can’t breathe for a second.

He turns to her with the child on his hip and leans over. “Look, Dylan, this is Emma,” he says. Then he looks at her, and again her breath catches. “Emma,” he says, “meet my nephew.”

Emma freezes on the spot like a deer caught in headlights.

Panic now spreads up her spine and all she can think is, PleaseDon’tMakeMeHoldHim .

She forces a smile and grinds out “nice to meet you”, and Killian’s eyes scan her face like he’s tracking something elusive. He makes no move to hand her the child.

Instead he leans over and whispers into her ear, “please don’t go.”

How did he know Emma was about to bolt?

But there is no way she is leaving now.

She nods at him, and suddenly lots of things happen. Killian hands his nephew back to his mother; and Liam sits down; and the blond man starts to get up, but Liam tells him to stay; and Wendy asks Killian and Emma to please sit and join them; and then Ruby shows up with a tray full of plates.

Killian pulls up a chair for Emma and sits down next to the blond man, who introduces himself as David – the local chief of police and a college friend of Wendy’s – and Emma sits down awkwardly at the head of the table as Ruby hands out plates. Ruby pats Emma on the shoulder before she leaves and Killian’s hand settles on her knee.

“Emma,” he says, and it sounds like he’s girding himself for battle. “This is my brother Liam and his wife Wendy. And you just met Dylan. Liam, Wendy, and… David, was it?” the blond man nods, “this is Emma.”

The way he says Emma feels like a hug. She wants to wrap it around herself like armor.

Then she nods at the table’s occupants and does a little wave. Wendy beams at her. David nods and smiles.

Liam looks her up and down like he’s checking for holes in a second-hand coat.

And then he dives right into it.

“So, Killian, I went down to the harbor earlier, only to find out you weren’t at work today.” A high-profile prosecutor could not have put more accusation into that sentence. Killian’s hand on her knee tightens.

“It’s the off season.” Killian manages to keep his voice steady, but Emma can hear anger vibrate beneath it. “There’s not much to do, and I can make my own hours.”

“You thought it best to start off a new job by playing hooky?”

Killian’s hand on her knee tightens to a near painful squeeze. Emma lays her hand on top of his, rubs her thumb slowly across his knuckles. Killian’s grip lessens a fraction.

“Nobody says hooky, Liam.” The undercurrent of anger is rapidly rising. “What are you, twelve? And although I don’t owe you an explanation, Emma had a doctor’s appointment and I chose to go with her.”

The way he says ‘chose’ is an open invitation for Liam to pounce. Which he does.

“I’d love to have the kind of job where I can just choose to take a day off.”

Killian smiles, and it looks lethal. “Quit the Navy. Become the harbor master of a small tourist town. You’ll be able to take off all the days you want between late October and early April.”

“This is what I get for getting you a job?” Liam leans forward, and there is menace in his bearing. “Attitude? From you?” He spits the last part as if Killian weren’t worthy to be dragged along the soles of his shoes.

“I never asked you to get me a job,” Killian replies, and the anger has finally bubbled all the way to the top. “And if memory serves, all you did was give me Ed’s number. I interviewed for it. Twice. And got it on my merits.”

Liam draws breath, but his wife lays a hand on his arm. “Liam, stop it,” she says. “This is not why we’re here.” She turns to Killian and Emma. “It’s very nice to meet you, Emma. How did you two meet?”

From out of the corner of her eyes Emma can see Killian start to answer, and she just knows he is going to be chivalrous and prevaricate. For her. But she doesn’t want to hide, and she doesn’t want Killian to have to bend the truth on her behalf, so she squares her shoulders, and answers before Killian speaks.

“I hitched a ride with him, back in Tallahassee. So I guess we met on the side of a road.” Under the table she squeezes Killian’s hand. He squeezes her knee back. Then she smiles at Liam and thinks, bring it.

Liam does not disappoint. “ What? ” He seems to grow in size, the way he straightens up and puffs out his chest, like a bird ruffling its feathers. His next words are directed at Killian, not Emma, whom he spares not a glance.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Killian?” His voice could easily cut glass. “It’s not enough that you get yourself kicked out of the Navy because you have less impulse control than my son, no– the first thing you do is go out and hook up with a transient?” It’s painfully clear that he doesn’t mean ‘transient’. He means gutter trash.

“Just you wait,” he goes on, his voice brimming with disdain, “a few weeks from now she’ll claim you knocked her up and you’ll be paying child support for the rest of your life. And be well and truly screwed.”

Wendy’s breath catches and she hisses, “ Liam! ”

Emma’s whole body snaps taut like a wire. That last poison arrow Liam shot hit her square in the chest.

David looks like he wants to disappear into the back rest of the booth. Emma feels bad for him for the briefest of moments, because if she’s mortified – and she is -- it must be so much worse for him. He looks like a nice guy, except for the stunned expression on his face; the kind of expression a person can get when they just wanted to spend some time with friends and instead suddenly find themselves stuck in a Lifetime Family Drama.

The muscles in Killian’s jaw jump and his hand folds around Emma’s. He turns to her and gives her a small smile for comfort and then looks back at Liam; and even in profile Emma can hardly believe the way his face changes. It’s suddenly made of granite and steel.

“Liam,” his voice is quiet and dangerous, “insult me all you want. All day, every day, to your heart’s content. I never get tired of you expounding upon what a disappointment I am.” Killian’s voice drops even lower, and menace starts to drip from every word like blood from an open wound. “But if you ever say anything derogatory about Emma again, anything at all, I will not speak to you again. For the rest of my life. Is that clear?”

He is deadly serious. This is not a bluff. Emma shudders.

Then he stands and pulls Emma up with him. His smile turns cordial but genuine as he nods at David.

“I am so sorry for my part in this uncomfortable situation. I’m sure you were looking forward to a friendly meal. I’m afraid I may have ruined that, but I will come see you at the station later this week, if that’s OK? I’ve been meaning to stop by and get to know the local police force.”

David manages a smile. “Please do. Happy to meet you.”

Liam seems to have gathered his wits again and cuts in, “oh please, Killian.  Stop the dramatics and sit down already. Nobody cares. You’re acting like a spoiled child. We can just---”

Killian looks at him and Liam breaks off halfway through his tirade. Emma can’t see Killian’s face, but Liam actually blanches.

Then Killian looks at Wendy and Dylan and his face becomes wistful, and not a little sad. He bends over and kisses Wendy on the cheek. “I am so sorry, love. But it’s best to leave now, before I say something I cannot take back. Take care, OK?” He runs his knuckles down Dylan’s cheek. “You be good to your mother, hear me?”

Then he straightens back up. “Liam, I wish I could say this was a pleasure. But we both know what this was, so let’s not pretend. Have a safe trip home.”

And with that he turns and leaves the diner towards the back staircase, dragging Emma behind him.

In Emma’s room Killian collapses into the arm chair and pulls Emma down on his lap. His breath comes in stuttering gasps, and his eyes are squeezed shut. Emma runs a hand up the back of his neck, massaging his scalp. Her other hand rubs up and down the arm that is wrapped tightly around her waist.

They stay like that for minutes, before she gathers herself and quietly says, “I’m so sorry.”

His eyes snap open.

“Emma.” His voice is unsteady. “Please don’t. This is not--- none of this is your fault.”

“I can’t help feeling I started it. I should have kept my mouth shut.”

“You told the truth. That’s not--- that’s never the wrong thing to do.” He sighs. “It’s a good thing you did. I wasn’t going to. And I would have been wrong not to.”

“But I caused a rift between you.”

He laughs. It is bitterness made sound. “Love, that wasn’t you. That rift started a long time ago. You had nothing to do with it. Nothing at all.”

But the fight is not the only reason Emma is sorry. And the other reason weighs more.

“I almost left,” she whispers. “I almost left you with them, with him. I’ve done nothing but lean on you since we fucking met, and then--- and then----” She has to take a deep breath. “And then you had to ask me to stay. I’m the worst person ever.” Hormones have nothing to do with her eyes getting wet. Emma is well and truly ashamed.

“Oh, love,” he says, and then they both hear a voice hesitantly calling “Killian?” from the hallway. It sounds like Wendy.

“Number 8,” Killian calls out. “Come on in!”

The door opens slowly, and it is Wendy who enters, Dylan on her hip, her eyes large and sad.

“So,” she says, shaking her head, “that went well.”

Killian makes no move to get up, nor to displace Emma from his lap, but he motions for Wendy to take a seat on the bed. She sits on the edge and lets Dylan go; and they all watch as the boy starts to chew on a fold of the comforter.

Killian’s hand moves from her waist and settles on Emma’s belly. It is a completely unconscious gesture. It’s not until he hears Emma’s sharp intake of breath that his gaze snaps to hers. He starts to pull back immediately, but Emma stays his hand, and the look in his eyes becomes soft and he smiles.

“How far along are you?” Wendy’s eyes are on Killian’s hand.

“Sixteen weeks,” he answers, “and before you ask, I met Emma not even ten days ago. You can do the math.”

Wendy nods and Killian shakes his head. “God, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude. I shouldn’t take my issues with Liam out on you.”

“It’s quite alright,” Wendy’s voice is warm, and free of accusation. “It’s not like I have no experience with the Jones’ brand of stubbornness.” She holds up a hand, stops Killian’s reply in its tracks. “Don’t. Today’s mess is all on your brother, and he knows it.”

Killian quirks an eyebrow. Wendy smirks. “Or rather, he will know it. Soon.”

Killian laughs, and then Wendy laughs, and then Emma cracks a grin; and suddenly the air in the room seems much lighter than before.

And then Wendy grows serious again. “Please don’t cut us out of your life.” She picks up her son, walks over to them. “I have no desire for this one to grow up without a fun uncle.” And in one fell swoop she deposits the boy on Emma’s lap.

Emma goes stiff as a board. She feels as if she would honestly be more comfortable with a live grenade in his place. Whereas Killian reaches out immediately, and tickles his belly. The boy gurgles happily and raises his arms and then falls against Emma’s own belly, laughing.

Emma is still wishing for a live grenade. Seriously.

Wendy crouches down next to her and takes her hand.

“This a bit much for you?” She asks gently. Emma can’t even look at her. All she can do is nod. “Don’t worry about it.” Wendy sounds calm and assured. “It’s alright to be apprehensive. But that’ll change with your own little one, you’ll see.”

Emma can’t breathe. The small human on her lap is blowing spit bubbles and smiling at Killian, holding his finger.

“And Killian is a good man,” Wendy continues. “I can see that neither one of you planned any of this, but--” she picks up her son and swings him back onto her hip—“that does not mean it was not meant to be. Do yourselves a favor.” She looks at both in earnest. “Don’t let anyone tell you what you ought to be. In life, and to each other. You get to decide that. Nobody else. Just you.”

Try as she might, Emma can’t hold back her goddamn tears, again . Killian buries his nose in her hair, and from the way he is breathing she can tell he’s just as moved by this as she is.

“Also,” Wendy winks at Emma, “there is absolutely no winning against hormones, so cry all you want. You on the other hand,” she points her chin at Killian, “have no excuse. Other than being the sap that you are.”

Killian barks a laugh, and so does Emma, and she suddenly feels loose and buoyant and--- happy .

Killian’s hand settles back on her belly, and it feels good there, and right. Like it belongs.

“Thank you so much.” Emma cannot put into words how grateful she is, so she leaves it at that, and hopes the look she gives Wendy conveys enough. Killian echoes “thank you” in a husky voice, and Wendy turns to go.

“We’ll head back now,” she says, turning in the doorway. “But I’m expecting you both for Thanksgiving dinner. No excuses. Is that understood?”

Killian nods.

“That’s an order, lieutenant.”

He smiles. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Good,” she says. “It was lovely to meet you, Emma. You both take care and we’ll see you soon.”

She closes the door softly behind her.

  “So…..” Emma breaks the silence long moments later. “I’m thinking there is a whole lot of backstory I might be missing here.”

Killian grins at her. “Just a tad. Not nearly enough to fill a Greek Tragedy.”

“How boring. And here I was hoping Euripides himself could have borrowed your plot.” He laughs out loud and then his eyes turn thoughtful.

“Did you finish high school, love?”

Emma shakes her head no.

“And yet you throw Euripides around like it's part of casual conversation?”

“Let’s just say that the reason I didn’t finish had nothing to do with my grades,” she says. “And you’re a clever one, trying to avoid the subject. Which you can’t.”

She gets up and pulls Killian with her. Walks over to the bed and pushes him down, until they are both lying on top of the blankets, facing each other.

“Now that we’re more comfortable, Mr. Jones---“ she smirks at him, “do you think you may want to talk to me?” Her eyes grow serious and her voice drops to a whisper. “It might help.”

“There’s really not much to tell,” he sighs. “Our mother died when I was very young, and my father did not take it well. He managed to drink himself to death a few short years later.”

Emma puts her hand on his side, but his breathing is calm and measured. This is not a bleeding wound, not anymore.

“Liam was almost eighteen when he died, so he got custody of me. I was thirteen and angry and Liam was totally unprepared for the kind of resentment I dished up. He really did his best, and I owe him. So much.” He sighs again, and Emma tightens her hand on his hip. “But somehow our relationship changed from brothers to--- well, more like father and son. And it stayed that way even after I grew up. Even after I joined the Navy. He could never let go of that, and I guess at some point this became a real problem.”

His hand wanders down her arm, folds into hers.

“So you see, this rift has been decades in the making. He thinks he has to keep taking care of me, and he resents me for it. I think he still sees me as the thirteen-year-old fuck up, and I resent him for it. And getting cashiered didn’t help. It just confirmed all his suspicions.”

He exhales, long and exhausted. “I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know if I want to.” He looks tired and worn and hopeless, and Emma moves on instinct.

She leans forward to kiss him, slow and soft and tender. Because she wants to. And she means it. He responds in kind, languid and warm and unhurried. His hand wraps into her hair, pulls her closer, and she goes willingly.

When they break apart, his eyes are wide and dark, and she smiles.

“I know it's not time, yet,” she whispers. “Not for either one of us. Not yet. But soon.”

His smile may be the most beautiful thing she has ever seen.

“Now turn around.”

He looks at her in confusion as she sits up and starts to draw the blanket out from under them. When she sees his questioning eyes, she grins.

“It's your turn for some comfort,” she says softly, and pushes back on his shoulder until he lies down with his back to her.

She wraps herself around him for a change, pulls up the covers and kisses the back of his neck.

“Go to sleep,” she says. “The answers will come in time.”

She doesn't know what makes her so sure.

But she knows she is right.

She wraps her arm around his middle, and he takes her hand, and that's how they fall asleep.

   Nothing? Says the message.

Not a chance. He texts back. Not like this.

Fine. Comes the reply. Then it's time for Plan B.

Will take a little while to set up.

Do what you have to.

The man smirks and turns over the ignition and the decrepit white Ford makes its way out of Storybrooke. But it doesn't go far.

   “Tell me you were not going to lift that.”

Emma looks up, biting her lip; but all he can see is her hand, wrapped around the handle of the heavy mop bucket in front of her, filled to the brim with dirty water.

“No, don't worry,” she says, and starts to roll the bucket, “there's a drain in the back.”

It is three weeks later. Halloween has come and gone, Ruby has returned to New York, and the last of the tourists have left Storybrooke. The town has changed; its pace even slower, now that the residents are back out. They have had a wonderfully relaxed, leisurely time; with Killian spending his days at the diner and his nights wrapped around Emma, kissing and cuddling and taking their time.

It's a lovely new experience, not having to rush, although waking up is getting harder. And harder.

“Here, let me help you.”

Emma straightens up and gives him a pointed look. She has a definite bump now, her T-shirt stretched across her middle, and her expression is firm. “I can tip over a bucket myself.”

He bites down on the grin threatening to split his face, because she's formidable when riled up like that, and that's half of the reason he does it.

She bends down towards the bucket and then suddenly goes, “oh.”

He's by her side in an instant. When she straightens up there's an odd expression on her face; but she doesn't seem to be in pain. It's more of a figuring look.

Then a small shudder goes through her and again she says, “oh!”, and starts to rub a spot on her side. When she turns to look at him her eyes are wide, and full of wonder.

“I just felt a kick,” she whispers.

His breath catches. “For the first time?”

“I've felt flutters before,” she says. “But nothing like this.” Her smile is wide, and she pulls his hand towards her belly. “Here,” she says. “Maybe he'll do it again.”

He raises an eyebrow. “He?”

“I just have a feeling,” she answers. “That first time I saw the monitor, I just got this feeling that it was a boy.” She looks down. “I know it's silly, but---”

And then he feels it. It's slight and tenuous, but it's there.

Life.

“Killian,” she says, and it's a tone of voice he has not heard before. She is looking straight at him, eyes still full of wonder--- and something else altogether. Something hungry. “Killian, it's time.”

“Time for what, love?”

She just looks at him, as if he is being very, very stupid. And then she launches herself at him, her lips crashing down on his, her hand fisting into his hair, and she kisses him and kisses him and kisses him until his brain catches up to what is happening. Oh, he is so very, very stupid.

He pulls back, and he wants to ask if she's sure, but the look she gives him removes all doubt.

Then he picks her up and her legs wrap around his waist; and he stumbles them all the way up the stairs and down the hallway and into her room. He puts her down on the bed and she leans back in invitation and god--- he has never been so ready.

Her hair is tangled and her lips are so red and her eyes are so dark and she just smiles at him, waiting.

With a growl he pushes her up towards the headboard and lies down beside her. He runs his hand over her swollen breasts, teasing the nipples until she moans and writhes and pulls him in for another blistering kiss.

His hand wanders down the swell of her belly and then cups her mound and her back arches up.

She's as ready as he is. More, even.

She sits up and he pulls off her T-shirt and he has to stop for a moment, because she looks so, so beautiful.

But then her hands grip the hem of his sweater and the rest of their clothes come off in record time, and her fingers run up his spine, and her mouth trails down his neck, finding his pulse point and biting down hard, and he groans and has to grip the pillow for dear life.

His fingers start to tease inside her, and god – she's so so so ready.

She bites his earlobe, stutters “please, Killian, please”, and he enters her in one swift motion. And nearly loses it right then and there.

He has wanted this for such a long time.

Her legs wrap around him and pull, and pull; as he finds a rhythm, as she matches his thrusts, as she pulls him in tighter and higher and higher; and she bites down on her fist as her back arches off the mattress; and she swallows her scream, her eyes closed, her mouth open; and right there, right there, right there----

He lets go.

It hits him like a ton of bricks, white light explodes behind his eyes, and he has never, he has never...

When he comes back to himself, he's draped halfway across her, boneless and sated and thoroughly spent.

And happy.

Just. Happy.

She looks up at him, disheveled and oh so lovely and just as spent as he is. And smiles. “Oh, we are doing that again.”

“As soon as humanly possible.” He slides to her side and starts to rub her belly. “Was it OK? I wasn't too heavy?”

“You were perfect.” Her eyes are shining, and then her grin turns wicked. “And there are so many more things we can try.”

He knows he is not eighteen anymore, but he swears he can feel parts of him try to twitch again.

“We definitely, definitely will. Try everything. Preferably on every available surface.”

She smiles. “I'm so glad we agree.” Then she shudders. The room is chilly and they're both cooling fast.

He pulls the covers up over them both and then they just lie there – their legs tangled, their fingertips slowly whispering across warm, naked skin.

A feeling of contentment such as he has never known spreads warm through his chest, and he realizes right then and there that he is falling in love.

 The next morning they are late coming down to Granny's, and she holds out the phone to him as Emma puts on her apron.

“Someone on the line for you,” she says, trying to sound disapproving, but failing. He knows the feeling. No one, no one could possibly look at Emma's shining face and disapprove. Not even Granny.

Emma is in the middle of making cappucinos when he returns to the counter and hands Granny the phone.

“I have to go down to the harbor,” he says. “Seems there is a dispute over moorings. Last night a boat with no slip permit came in and just dropped anchor, so I have to get some actual work done.”

“That's a shame,” Emma says, licking her bottom lip. She has the definite potential to be the death of him someday.

Granny rolls her eyes. “Shoo,” she waves at Killian. “Go and get. Maybe that way we can all get some work done.”

It takes him most of the day to sort everyone out.

When he returns to the diner it is past 5 pm and darkness has fallen. He catches himself whistling as he walks back, and he doesn't even try to hide his smile along the way.

Granny is alone behind the counter when he enters, and this time her look is definitely disapproving.

“Listen, bucko,” she says, giving him a stern once-over, “I'm happy you two lovebirds are finally getting along.” There is absolutely no mistaking her meaning, and he has to bite down on his grin. “But that's no reason to blow off an afternoon.”

The words sink in slowly. It takes him a minute to catch up to them.

“What do you mean?” He finally hears himself asking.

“Your bird went to see you on her lunch break and never came back. And I want to make it perfectly clear---” Granny's voice trails off when she sees Killian's face.

He can't move.

Can't breathe.

Because something is very, very wrong. He can feel it in his bones.

“She never came to see me.”

He leaves Granny's stunned face behind and runs. Through the back, up the staircase, down the hallway, IWasJustHereLastNight, EmmaInMyArms, and then he bursts through her door.

The bed is made.

Her clothes are neatly folded in the dresser.

Her bag is half filled with laundry, stored under the desk.

Everything is exactly like they left it that morning.

Exactly.

And Emma is gone.

[class-wom]

What if the story of FX's Legion, created and scripted by TV writer (Fargo) and novelist (Before the Fall) Noah Hawley, is less about the story arc of the series itself and more the story about how and why it got made in the first place? Hawley had improbably turned the brilliant Coen Brothers movie, Fargo, into the acclaimed, separately realized vision of a TV series. So what if Legion was a lark from a prestige cable channel rewarding a very smart writer, and the extended generosity ends up being that Hawley, no fan of superheroes, wants to make a Marvel superhero story about mental illness rather than superpowers? And he also wants to mess with the notion that the hero in question has to be heroic at all.

I mean, if you're FX, with a long history of taking chances on exceptional talents, you probably say, "OK, sure, let's see what you come up with." Which is exactly the answer you want if you love television as a creative exploration rather than predictable, formulaic movement from episode to episode, season to season.

It would certainly explain the triptastic, visually stunning first season of Legion, which was basically a more coherent exploration of weirdness than Twin Peaks. And then the perception-changing second season (Jon Hamm as a narrator that didn't exist before!), which seemed intent on taking a Marvel vehicle (that will unlikely be tampered with again) and giving it a kind of Breaking Bad halo, disconcertingly telling its audience that the person at the center of the story, the hero they were rooting for, was in fact pretty awful.

How else to explain the fact that, by the end of that second season, anyone tuning in for a typical Marvel series was probably tuning out. Legion was seemingly moving from oddball project for Hawley into an experiment that wouldn't likely hold, given how busy he was and the inherent limitations of Marvel-centric superhero stories inside the mind of someone not particularly interested in those limitations or the expectations for that genre.

Translation: You probably wouldn't be too far off assuming, at the end of Legion season two, that Hawley's mindset was: "OK, that was a cool experiment but I'm over it." Of course, that assumption could be way off, and the third and final season of Legion was planned as the end all along (that's certainly the narrative) and all that's left is a pro forma wrap-up where the main character, David (Dan Stephens), course-corrects his Walter White excursion and the series closes with everybody doing the moral and ethical thing and putting the world right.

Sure, maybe, I don't know. I'd probably watch that.

But instead, what looks to be happening after last season's experimentation is that Hawley is once again having a blast reimagining a Marvel superhero show. He is tripling down on the visual gymnastics and mind-altering aspects, but with the kind of narrative focus that will culminate in a three-years-is-ideal big picture analysis, lovingly concluding that he got it all right, or at least right enough to be riveting.

I hope that's true, but without the full season to examine at length (eight total; I've seen four), who knows what will happen. But I'm loving the direction the third and final season of Legion is going in because the journey has been less about Marvel and more about Hawley and, given the television track record of each, I'll take the latter every time.

There's an unmistakable creative energy about each episode of the third season, as if Hawley, his writing staff and collection of directors all gathered around and said, "Let's go out on fire." I'd argue that the second season, which simultaneously seemed to annoy fans of the comic and fall short of satisfying some critics, did its job of upending the narrative built in season one. But it also perhaps had to come to terms with the fact that its weirdness was vast, like its stable of excellent actors, and if the third season was really going to be the end, some snipping would have to be done. It wasn't perfect but it was unfailingly creative, funny and risky, which is often more than enough to overcome quibbles.

Look, Legion was doing most things remarkably well — notably giving people like Aubrey Plaza, Navid Negahban, Bill Irwin and Jemaine Clement, to name a handful of random examples, room to explore and crush the acute weirdness of their characters in a way that few series ever do. (There are 10-minute scenes in every episode of Legion where I'd take just that and only that over a full episode of something else.) And while the work of Stevens' David and Rachel Keller's Syd is the no-doors, no-safety-belt rollercoaster car that fuels the Legion story, at least half the fun of the show is watching other actors run around the theme park with their hair on fire.

Which is to say, sure, if you really want to focus on the plotting, that can be your hill to die on. But all this other vigorous exploration of the mind's infinite possibilities (especially for a mutant) is pretty damned intriguing on its own.

I'm assuming but neither hoping nor demanding that Legion will end with a plot arc that feels satisfying. Season three could end with former hero David dying as the villain at the hands of new hero Syd, who saves the world. It could be David coming back from the depth of madness and harnessing his powers (whatever those really are) and there being some kind of interior peace for him. It could (and likely will) end... differently.

Viewers often come to the realization, after several seasons of a drama, that it's not the thing they'd hoped it would be. This is especially true for genre series like fantasy and sci-fi and superheroes. It seems as if more people should know when they sign up that their results may vary (spoiler: most don't know and thus are disappointed). But with Hawley's Legion, if you were expecting something predictable or literal, well, you weren't paying attention from the very first frame.

The journey is the joy here, and if you want yet another confirmation of that, watch the first episode of season three and look what director Andrew Stanton (all things Pixar) does with the material that Hawley and co-writer Nathaniel Halpern give him.

Season three adds David's real father, Charles Xavier (aka Professor X, leader of the X-Men), in the form of Harry Lloyd (Counterpart, Game of Thrones), and his mother Gabrielle in the form of Stephanie Corneliussen (Mr. Robot), who sheds some light on "The World's Angriest Boy In the World," plus an essential new character, Switch (Lauren Tsai), who is a time-traveler.

If the Professor X revelation pulls back in fans of the comic book or X-Men, it probably won't end well for them. Hawley doesn't seem to have particular interest in the franchise or superheroes in general, and was at least partially attracted to the idea so that he could portray mental illness in a different way — while also having a hell of a time with mind-bending visuals, tricky editing and now, in the final season, hallucinatory drugs adding to the fugue state effect.

Maybe, as someone not particularly interested (fine, not at all interested) in X-Men stuff, I fall into that weird subset where Legion is the perfect series. I just go with what's on the screen, revel in the conceptual ideas and applaud the acting turns, willingly negligent about Marvel-universe connections and never expecting — as others seem to be demanding — that this show, of all shows, be more concise, more linear, more understandable.

Cast: Dan Stevens, Rachel Keller, Aubrey Plaza, Jean Smart, Jeremie Harris, Bill Irwin, Amber Midthunder, Jemaine Clement, Hamish Linklater, Navid Negahban, Lauren Tsai, Harry Lloyd, Stephanie Corneliussen Created and written by: Noah Hawley First episode directed by: Andrew Stanton Premieres June 24, 10 p.m. FX

If I had to pick one single sentence from this review to summarize my current admittedly tortured state of mind regarding this show, it’s this:  “Viewers often come to the realization, after several seasons of a drama, that it's not the thing they'd hoped it would be. “  But there are those who already knew this about Yours Truly, whether they needed to or not!  😏  (Also love the unwritten “I’m looking at you, fans of Game of Thrones!”-implications here, lol)

[olivia200312]

Jealousy~ TFP! Optimus x Human! Reader *Request*

Requested by the lovely Shoto1wifey

Plot: Optimus caught Y/N hanging out with a friend of hers who's a guy, causing him to feel jealous since she is his sparkmate but he has no idea that Y/N's friend is gay.

A warning to everyone and including to the user who requested this: don't ask too many times for the same request or else I will not do it. I'm glad that there are users out there who respect this. I apologize if this sounds rude to anybody but I don't have 100 hands to complete many one-shots. I do not mind seeing the request 2 times, because I can help remind them that they requested it 2 times while they don't realize it, but if I catch the same request the 3rd time, I will give you a warning. If I see it for the 4th time or more, then the request will be canceled, unless your request with a VERY interesting plot will sound interest me, then I will do it. This warning is also on A/N and on the description.

Enjoy!

Head area:

Brain: Processor / Brain Module

Head: Helm

Face: Face plate

Ears: Audio receptors / Receptor Orifice / Audials

Nose: Enstril / Olfactory Sensor

Eye brow: Optical Ridge

Eyes: Optics

Mouth: Intake

Lips: Dermas

Teeth: Denta/Dentas

Tongue: Glossa

Chest area:

Chest: Chassis / Thoraxal Cavity

Back: Hexa-Lateral Scapula

Spine: Bipedalism cord / Back Strut

Chest and back armour:

Chest plate

Back plate

Mid-section plating

Neck guard

Side plating

Arm area:

Arms: Arms / Restarlueus

Forearms: Bitarlueus

Hands: Servos

Fingers: Digits

Arm armour:

Gantlets

Shoulder pads

Arm guard

Lower area:

Pelvis: Pelvis

Butt: Aft / Skid-Plate

Thighs: Tibulen

Calves: Cadulen

Feet: Pedes - the high heel bits are called Struts or Heel Struts.

Lower armour:

Skirt plates

Aft plate / Skid plate

Thigh guard

Ankle guard

General/Internal components:

Muscles: Cables / Pistons - It depends on the area in question.

Veins: Fual lines

Stomach: Tanks

Lungs: Vents - used to stop the con/bot from over heating.

Heart: Spark

Tattoos: D-con/A-bot Insignias and the lark

T-Cog: The thing that allows all Cybertronians to transform, be that their arms or their whole body.

Bonus:

Penis: Spike

Vagina: Valve

Body: Frame

-----------------------------------------------------

Today was a hot sunny day in Jaspar Nevada. There's an 18-year-old girl named Y/N. She's friends with the Autobots in secret together with some humans like Jack, Miko, Raf, Agent Fowler, and June Darby. When the Autobots arrived, they had to hide immediately to not get caught or seen. Let's just say that Y/N has seen them fighting against the Decepticons when she took a walk. It nearly killed her! Especially when there was like throwing, punching, kicks, flying... They are huge like holy shit! Optimus was fighting against some Cons together with Bumblebee and Arcee. Optimus took Y/N to the base and that's where she got a big long explanation...

You know the story... Y/N met the kids a few days later. She became good friends with them! Time passed and the certain leader of the Autobots started crushing on Y/N. He didn't know or how he got attracted to her. It just... happened. He always kept a close optic on her and protected her from any dangers. He even is her guardian! He offered to become her guardian when they met. Do you know what's romantic? Every time when Optimus and Y/N made eye-to-optic contact close, they get lost. Optimus' optics are blue, blue like the ocean where you can get lost while staring that the ocean water.

A few weeks later, Optimus officially asked Y/N to be his sparkmate and she said yes! Whenever they were alone, they kiss, cuddle, and even make-out. Everyone knows about their relationship and they are happy! But Miko literally took many pictures, even when they kissed. She sends it to Y/N and to Optimus' link so they can keep the pictures.

But today, Y/N was very surprised and even teased her boyfriend at the end. Do you know what happened? Jealousy (lol). So the day went like this:

"Hey, Y/N!" F/N (that's a guy) said with a smile upon seeing you.

"Hey, F/N! How are you?" She gave him a quick hug and then let go of him.

"Doing good! Me and R/N (Random's name who's dating your guy friend) are happy together!"

"I'm glad to hear that! Let's hang out!"

Y/N and F/N went to hang out at different places. Like at McDonald's, at some shops, and at other places. Park for an example. But what Y/N didn't know was that Optimus was around at the time, patrolling around with Bulkhead and Arcee. He caught his sparkmate together with a human mech. He felt then jealousy. He's not surprised since Y/N is his lover after all.

Still, he felt jealous, a lot. He knows that she's not cheating on him. He decided to ignore it and continue with the patrol while he'll talk to Y/N when it's over.

Later~

Y/N was now at the base, laughing with Miko while she told her about her day with F/N. Miko is also friends with F/N and she knows that he's gay. Jack and Raf were gaming while Bumblebee was busy with his stuff. Ratchet, being a grumpy doc he was, just ignored everyone.

That's when Optimus, Arcee, and Bulkhead drove in and transformed. Y/N smiled upon seeing her lover. She stood up and ran to the rails (?). Optimus smiled but Y/N saw something in his optics. Something she never saw before... There was something bothering him. The Prime let his servo out for her to climb on. He watched how she crawled carefully on his servo and that's when he took Y/N out somewhere. When they were alone, he finally started to speak.

"Y/N, who was that human mech I saw with you?"

Y/N was confused until it clicked into her mind. "Do you mean F/N?"

"... What were you doing with him?"

Y/N then burst out laughing. She heard jealousy in his voice. She clutched her stomach while Optimus was embarrassed. He felt his cheekplates heating up. When Y/N was done laughing, she cupped them and giggled. "Is the mighty Optimus Prime jealous?"

"... Yes."

"Aaaw, you're so cute! Don't worry! F/N is gay. It means that he likes guys."

"Oh..."

Y/N laughed again and kissed his dermas with passion. She felt him kissing back. "I love you and only you, my Prime."

"I love you too, my dear." Now he felt much better.

[vera-invenire]

VnC Liveblog - Chapter 4

.All chapter liveblogs are linked HERE.

The Case Study of Vanitas, aka, It’s Probably A Really Bad Idea To Get Into  Fights With People Called ‘Hellfire Witch’, Boys, I’m Just Saying

Not much to note in the cover art this time -- we’ve got Vanitas’ standard imagery in blues and blacks, with emphasis on the hourglass earring and his eyes. And the gears, through after the airship we haven’t really had much else that was very steampunk-ish in the story. Maybe that’ll change in later chapters.

Re: the eyes -- we know that most vampires have eyes that glow red when they drink or use their powers (I think that’s how it works?) and they have a link to the crimson moon, but Vanitas is human, so even though he’s got a connection to the Vampire of the Blue Moon, his blue eyes might just be a coincidence. (re: for the  a e s t h e t i c) (though the color matching with that hourglass is a bit suspect on the symbolic level, so who knows)

We get a bit of a peak at the dynamics in Dante’s crew before we jump back into the action --

Johann is very camp. I wonder if the matching suits were his idea. I like his relationship with Dante, though. Riche seems to be their junior member -- at least Johann is looking out for her.

Uh-oh. Luca’s heading back into the fray.

Chapter title: Memoire 4 Love Femme Fatale

Well, ‘femme fatale’ is Jeanne, that’s pretty clear. But ‘love’? Eh? Are we introducing a romance? Or is this the protective love between Jeanne and Luca?

So, Jeanne’s chasing Noé down the back-alleys of the -- was it the riverfront district? Warehouses, we’re surrounded by warehouses.

She catches his foot!

Noé intercepts! \o/

(’may i throw you back’, pfff)

But Vanitas is no slouch himself, even if he is back to being carried like a kitten.

We already knew that Vanitas was aware of Jeanne’s reputation, but this exchange makes me think he knows a bit more than surface level rumors. But he doesn’t seem up-to-date with the no-killing influence Luca has on her.

Vanitas tells Noé to follow the plan (which we are not privy to) as Jeanne finds them again.

'No’, ‘I refuse’, must be Noé‘s favorite words, he says them so much.

(Can you imagine baby Noé just constantly saying ‘i refuse. i refuse.’ all serious-like whenever someone tried to make him put down his blankie, cuz I’m imagining it, lmao.)

Note: Noé‘s teacher is a scary badass. (also what’s he holding? a cane? a switch?? oi, what was Noé‘s training like)

Meanwhile, Noé feels like he’s finally getting the upper-hand --

Uh-oh.

Pride goeth, etc etc

*sports announcer voice* That’s gotta hurt.

But why’s he looking at his hand? I didn’t notice him holding anything before.

“Now... let’s see.” He and Vanitas still have a plan to enact. Also, hi Riche!

So we haven’t had much time with these three yet, but I’m starting to get a feel for their priorities. Dante would never, ever in a million years admit to anything like fondness for Vanitas, or vice versa, but underneath all the mutual sniping I think there’s a small bond there. A teeny tiny one.

Whereas with Johann -- he honestly doesn’t care about Vanitas one way or another. If V were to be killed in front of them, I think Dante would be shocked and frozen for at least a second while Johann would say, ‘welp, it’s been a lark, toodle-loo’, grab his Two People, and get them all the hell out of there, not bothering to look back.

Riche, I don’t know enough about yet. She mostly registers to me as the rookie of this trio, tbh.

Yes, antagonize the massively powerful warrior who just threw Noé through a brick wall. That’s a good plan. (is this the plan, that would be a terrible plan)

Ooo, history, I love history. I especially love MochiJun’s history and how layered and batshit it can get once the reveals start to hit.

So the vampire-human war happened a long time ago -- how long ago, we don’t know. We know that BlueVampire!Vanitas was alive during that time. We know that Jeanne was alive during that time, but was then put asleep.

(Why? Some thoughts: she was a weapon of war and put away when peace came; she went off the rails and had to be subdued; her being put asleep was a condition of some kind; she wanted to be put under, etc. There’s no way to know what really happened yet, but it’s interesting to think about.)

We also now know that BlueVampire!Vanitas used to tell Vanitas stories about the war that clearly didn’t leave out many details. But that wording...honestly, it sounds like maybe Vanitas was a kid when he heard this? Telling stories is something you usually do with a kid, which might make sense because.human!Vanitas doesn’t look that old. Anything that happened more than a few years ago would slide into ‘kid’ territory.

Which makes me wonder...did BlueVampire!Vanitas raise human!Vanitas? Or teach him, at least? I’d be a neat parallel to Noé and his teacher.

(what if they’re the same person, bwahahaha)

Anyway, back to Vanitas taunting the highly aggravated weapon of mass destruction.

Oooo, he’s about to pull out a special move. And he -- dropped the book?

is that thing really there, or is it, like, symbolic

oh shi-

The gloves are literally about to come off...!

That kid’s got horrible timing.

Ohoho, someone woke up from their nap. Was this part of the plan or is it an interesting complication?

Ow.

...IT WAS A TRICK, you sly dog.

also vampires are monsters, huh? or just curse-bearers and bourreaus? i think this distinction may be a biiiiit important. (is this why you’re always so shocked when Noé does/says something decent, oh boy)

LMAO, oh god, I hope this Greek chorus follows Vanitas around all the time just to drag him, wouldn’t that be amazing

Damn, boy -- he really knows how to work the superior disdain, doesn’t he?

I’m still shaky on how these true names work. Do vampires just fall into types, and that’s what gets warped? You’d think something called a ‘true name’ would be more individual than that.

Oi, Jeanne, you aren’t watching? Though I like Dante being all, ‘whatever, I’ve seen this show before.’

ahahaha, OOPS.

That’s what happens when you let your grandstanding get away from you, bb.

oh hey, look who was lurking nearby and NOT HELPING AT ALL.

“...you must be joking.” in this kind of context is like, one of my favorite lines.

Also damn, Jeanne is a badass.

Yeah, saw that coming.

She really shouldn’t have let Vanitas see how distracted she became when Luca wandered into danger.

*snorts* The Greek chorus doesn’t lie.

It’s a bluff, though; no way would Noé agree to harming the kid.

oh my god.

(”don’t forget to cover his mouth as you would a hostage, like so” akfdsajkfhkjf)

Noé, you are too innocent, too pure.

And she folds like a house of cards.

I don’t think even Vanitas expected this plan to work so well.

Oh, a little bit of crazy eyes there. This is gonna be a Thing, isn’t it? Vanitas, who, as far as we know, owes his loyalty to nothing and no one uses this to kick Jeanne while she’s down.

Heh, wonder what’s gonna happen when Vanitas finds something he wants to protect.

That is definitely a plotting look in his eye. He just saw how to use this to his advantage.

1. um what

2. hey, is this the first time we’ve seen him bare handed? It’s nice to know he doesn’t have actual claws under those gloves.

3. speaking of which, is that ‘my strength is suddenly gone’ bit because there IS something magic-related about his hands, or is she just in shock?

4. that is a very unnerving look. Vanitas, what are you doing

...holy crap, whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat??

Vanitas what are you doing

Shit, this is why the chapter was called “Love Femme Fatale”, oh geez.

dante, why do you look the most freaked out out of everyone?

Alright, I know Vanitas has been set up as being utterly unscrupulous, what with the lying and taking a little boy as a hostage and using a bloodthirsty monster to do his dirty work, etc, but seriously, someone needs to introduce him to the tenants of the #metoo campaign. Sure, fine, she tried to kill him two minutes ago, but this feels like a line too far.

...

Yeah, this ain’t real. The disdain, the fear, the calculation from before -- that was genuine. This is another bluff.

And I think I know why he’s doing it. Fighting Jeanne made it very clear that she is waaaaay out of his league, strength-wise. He only won through guile, and it’s a trick that might not work again. This woman has a well-earned, blood-soaked reputation, and she was gonna walk away from this fight seeing Vanitas as an enemy to herself and Luca.

But Vanitas saw her weakness -- she lets her bonds with those she cares about distract her. She’s a killer, but she’s sentimental. Emotional.

So, if you’re Vanitas, how do you deal with this, knowing that Jeanne the Hellfire Witch might become a problem for you down the line? How do you plan to defeat a potential foe who is so much stronger than you, someone you could never hope to defeat in a fair fight?

Apparently, if you’re Vanitas, you try to seduce them.

Even if the actual seduction part doesn’t work, you can still mess with her head just enough to make her confused, maybe make her a little more likely to hesitate when it’s time for the gauntlet to finally come down.

And a split-second’s hesitation could be all Vanitas would need to make his counter.

(sidenote: i still think it’s  h i l a r i o u s  that Dante is the most outraged about all this kissing and love declaration stuff. Noé apparently can’t hear any of this at all, which I think is very convenient. We don’t get to see his reaction to this kind of game until later, apparently.)

Uh-oh. Looks like this kid is powerful and very, very pissed.

“A large-scale “formula” revision” mmhmm, okay, what’s that supposed to mean? Am I getting an explanation for the magic system yet?

Looks like it’s not just Luca keeping Jeanne from going off the rails -- she does the same for him.

Look at that. She’s throwing death threats but now she’s blushing, she sure as hell wouldn’t have been blushing before he kissed her, the stupid plan is working.

And honestly, aggravation and confusion are probably going to work better than actual tender feelings in this seduction. He’s going to play this role to the goddamn hilt.

Look at that face, the jerk.

Alright, that’s a better face.

Noé has no idea what he’s getting into, the poor soul.

(he didn’t have much of a presence in this chapter, did he. maybe Jeanne is mostly going to be a Vanitas subplot instead of a Vanitas-and-Noé subplot)

Apparently we’ve traded one killer on the streets for another. And even more intriguing -- he recognized this killer. ‘Course, now he’s dead, so I don’t know how useful that’s gonna be.

Whimsical creature of darkness! I did not miss you.

The true threat is revealed with a name -- “Charlatan”. But, you know --

(Charlatan: a person who falsely pretends to know or be something.)

-- which makes me think there’s proooobably something else behind this guy. He is a fake, after all. (Though, hey, ‘charlatan’ is a nice contrast with Vanitas the doctor, don’t you think.)

That’s all for chapter 4! What a night, eh?

Next, CHAPTER 5.

[janeaustentextposts]

Have you read/seen The Jane Austen Book Club? I read it for school and I really quite enjoyed it, but when I went back to, like, analyze it I realised I didn't remember any of the plot, and mostly what I remembered was just reading other people's interpretations of Austen (which is also why I read this blog, lol). So have you read this particular Austen-inspired story, and if so, what did you think of it? Also, if I enjoyed it what else should I try, Lost in Austen or Austenland or...?

I’ve seen the film, but not read the book. (Likewise for Austenland.) The two films and the miniseries all comment to a certain degree on the culture of reading and adapting and appreciating Austen, but all in very different ways, so it depends on what you’re looking for. (Spoilers below!)

The Jane Austen Book Club (at least in the film,) has some jokes about Austen, but is very much rooted in the real world and ultimately an ensemble dramedy which weaves allusions to Austen’s characters and narrative into the personal lives of each of the individuals involved in this titular book club as a means of bringing very different people into contact with one another and providing a common-ish thread to connect them and their experiences.

But as this is arguably a more conventional ensemble piece there’s much more to compare when looking at Austenland and Lost in Austen: a woman, dissatisfied with modern living, indulges in escapism with varying degrees of extreme immersion in the world of the Regency and her encounters there prompt her to examine the direction she wants her own life to take in true heroine style. Ends up smooching a reticent and conventionally-attractive white man which indicates she has found fulfillment, at last.

Lost in Austen runs more along the lines of magic-realism and trends towards the humour in its situational conflicts rather than trying to justify plot-twists and character-choices. Love conquers all in the end, I suppose, but for myself I wasn’t able to entirely applaud the end of Amanda’s arc, because to me it felt hollow. My suspension of disbelief didn’t go far enough to allow me to feel it was right or good that Amanda would give up everything in her ‘old’ life for the Great Love she’s always idealized in literature. It all feels too good to be true, and I feel like a reasonable woman would question that...and possibly her sanity, given the meta-commentary on the blending of ‘fictional’ history and modern ‘reality’. I know there isn’t enough time to explain how or why any of this is happening, and so it’s all handwaved and people just accept it and move forward with the hijinks and fun, which...okay. It’s a lark. A merry romp through literature.

But then...Amanda decides to stay. I don’t know what she’s leaving behind--of course we’re shown that she isn’t satisfied with her job and her friends and romantic interests don’t respect her in the way she wants to be respected. But does she have any family? Any friends besides her roommate who is implied to be kind of a shitty person because she’s just enjoying life in her own way and not out to find a Rich Man and Settle Down? The thing about shitty jobs and friends and boyfriends is...you can leave them. You can find something new. And as this blog rather proves, there are plenty of folks to bond with over Jane Austen, if that’s what’ll fill the gaping hole in your life.

So, okay, Amanda’s all-time fave happens to fall for her and it’s amazing and her weird-ass dream about a fictional man is coming true. So...she decides she wants to ride this train for however long she can and just...be Mrs. Darcy? Mr. Darcy seems nice and all, and I’ve never been in love enough to want to marry somebody so maybe I don’t know shit, but my cynical inner monologue would have zero chill at the prospect of living permanently in a time with no suffrage or antibiotics. Even if one would be living at Pemberley and married to Mr. Darcy. With no birth control. Or germ theory. Amanda’s in control of her hair--great--what about her uterus? Lost in Austen, in the end, leans a little too heavily on the necessary suspension of disbelief in all this and just ends up snapping me back into an uncomfortable place with a lot of questions as to why they feel True Love is all an ending needs to justify it. Perhaps I’m expecting too much of a four-parter that wants to skew rom-com-fantasy rather than question the conflicts between the position of women in the past and the present as well as examining the romantic glorification of era which, despite their Aesthetic, were deeply entrenched in patriarchy and a toxic class system.

I know I’m over-thinking it, and there were things I definitely enjoyed about Lost in Austen once I just...let all that shit go; but there’s also a reason I haven’t felt the need to go back and watch it again and again.

Austenland kind of falls somewhere between the other two, I find. There’s no attempt to drag things into a complicated morass of Which Reality is Superior if Indeed Both Even Truly Exist--it’s like Lost in Austen got given a grounding which helped to take the pressure off justifying anything and just let the fun bits happen without sweating too much over how. Of course there’s an Austenized recreational hotel experience somewhat in the style of those murder mystery parties where everyone takes on a character to play. Of course there is. Done. Moving on. The comedy of a modern woman pining for The Gracious Past is allowed to unspool when she gets the chance to Live It (albeit in a comedic, ever-so-slightly-wrong way that totally feels plastic and even a bit cheap, but that’s part of the fun--during the first dinner scene just pause it on the wide shots and take a look at the prop food on the table, it’s a SCREAM,) and through this discovers that what she had idealized was not all she had cracked it up to be, in her mind, but that the stuff she still truly loves about it aren’t things that are lost to her, in the modern day. The character of Jane has this growth arc where she stops trying to fill her dissatisfaction with her life with fictional ideals, and forces her to really consider what she wants and to go after it. It’s bittersweet, because we know what all the Austen stuff means to her. It’s hard to put away those dreams, but she knows it’ll be worthwhile. And she has the support-network which Amanda lacks--her friend is, again, bemused by her Austen obsession, but ultimately supportive. Jane has to deal with gross modern dudes, but then...there are gross dudes in the ‘past’, too. Gross dudes are everywhere, is my point.

So Amanda and Jane both find the romantic wish-fulfillment they’re looking for, in the end; but apart from the messiness of Lost in Austen’s blurry stance on what the fuck is going on with spacetime and fiction, exactly, Jane has an arc, which Amanda does not. Things happen to Amanda. I remember watching and being entirely shocked when Darcy declares his love for her...maybe this is supposed to be a shock twist much like Darcy’s proposal to Amanda is a shock twist, because he’s supposed to loathe her for her weird ways like he supposedly loathed Lizzy for her low connections and ridiculous family...but here’s the thing...Amanda Price is not Elizabeth Bennet. It’s like all the writers took away from the dynamic was that Darcy loved Elizabeth because she was Different, and therefore Any Different Girl Will Do. Which...eeeeeeeh, no. Not exactly.

Darcy’s tortured avowal of his love feels like a Thing That is Happening to Amanda, not something which is occurring naturally due to clear signs of accord between Darcy and Amanda’s characters. Even Austen gives us some hints from almost the beginning of their acquaintance that Darcy wasn’t entirely cold towards Elizabeth--but Elizabeth certainly perceived him to be so. His proposal is a surprise to HER, but not to us as readers. When the plot-twist of Darcy’s feelings for Amanda are as much a shock to the audience as they are to the protagonist it’s...kind of cheap and out of left-field. It’s a bold move to try and write an original character who is literally there to take the place of Elizabeth Bennet, so Lost in Austen hasn’t made things easy for themselves by any means by dropping their girl in the midst of these iconic characters and situations, and I guess I applaud them for trying, but...eeeeeh, no.

Amanda is trying to be everything and nothing. She’s the Everywoman the audience can project itself onto, and so she has very few defining character traits to help her drive her own story. She’s an exercise in meta, which is fun and has its positives, but doesn’t result in a cohesive and compelling narrative arc anywhere near to the original Elizabeth Bennet’s. Amanda Price is the Bella Swan of an Austen fanfic come to life. Jane of Austenland is...well, very much like that, too, only she spends more time grappling with questions about what she’s looking for in her life and why, rather than “lol Darcy is casually racist on a London bus” (I appreciate that they tried to address that, except they didn’t address it so much as make a YIKES face and move on.) Lost in Austen becomes a pile of gimmicks and meta-moments with one woman along for the ride and romantic reward at the end rather than Austenland’s woman who is in a more toned-down variation of the same situation confronting the unsatisfying stasis of her adult life and realizing she’ll have to make some proactive choices, including leaving behind unhelpful aspects of her idealism and escapist fantasies in order to forge something with deeper meaning for herself.

Basically, sure, there’s things to enjoy in Lost in Austen and Austenland; but for my money, Austenland is the worthier and more well-executed story, especially when compared against similar elements in Lost in Austen, where the pursuit of meta-jokes overwhelms any attempt to actually give us characters to care about in a world which is too eager to dismiss realistic concerns and issues.

[elizabethrobertajones]

I stumbled across my own old post from when I ranked all spn seasons in order of my favorite to least and realized I need to figure out where to add s12... was wondering if you had such a ranking and what it is?

Oh no :P That’s a tough one. I’m still thinking about what @k-vichan said on @superspecpod about liking the emotional/motw stuff of season 12 a LOT but ranking the overall plot really really low. (And I just watched 12x15 so I’m freshly annoyed about this exact thing because Perez tried SO MUCH HARDER than he needed to to make the Crowley and Lucifer stuff interesting and to make it go somewhere - anywhere other than 2 more episodes of Lucifer sitting around chained to a chair in a boring room exchanging the same old samey dialogue - so the rest of the Buckleming episodes after just make it like a lesson in not trying so hard because you can coast by on about 3% of the effort >.>)

Maybe it’s time to start getting more nuanced because it’s really hard to decide and there are other seasons which aren’t so starkly split but still have an imbalance in my eyes. I’ll rank them out of 10 for those categories.

So I guess season 12 is 10/10 for motw, probably like 9/10 for emotional arcs and 1/10 for plot, no offence to Berens and Dabb but… Yikes. 12x13 retroactively ruined 6x04 and somehow 9x21 as well and I didn’t think 9x21 was a strong episode to start with… Other plot episodes in the same season don’t stand a chance. I’m putting the good work into “emotional arcs” from those episodes and backing off, although I’ll allow stuff like the good parts of the plot stuff that affected the emotional arcs some leeway into being enjoyable, like all the times the BMoL were used WELL for family drama. (I did also just watch 12x16 after all.) Overall 20/30

Season 11 I thought had some great motw but also some more average ones… Nothing terrible but there were several which were quite rote, so maybe like 8/10, average lifted by Robbie and Nancy Won specifically for 11x04 and 11x19 :P The emotional arc was fairly simple and stretched waaay too long and some parts not resolved, and the whole ikkiness of 16 year old looking Amara hitting on Dean which even when I didn’t think they’d use it as a proper romance arc was horrendously off-putting for the things we SHOULD have cared about, so maybe 5/10. The plot I think was good despite the emotional arc it created being a drag so 9/10 because I really enjoyed watching along with it for the basic drama and twists like Casifer and the hands of god to fill space with decent pacing in the middle, because it generally tied into interesting episodes, and bringing Chuck back and wrapping up was a nice way to raise the stakes and finish the story. Overall 22/30

Season 10 didn’t have any stellar motw except 10x05 - the rest were mostly tolerable-to-good but I can’t give it over 5/10 for the experience because many were plagued by… The emotional arc, which through sheer attrition ends up at like 2/10 and the only redeeming episodes on that were 10x14 for the plot and 10x22 for remembering Cas had a point to be in the season even if it was horrific to watch. But this is the plot that “went where the story took them” so ick, 3/10. Also, the demon!Dean stuff is great but in a bang your fork on the table and yell for more way, which means it’s the only reason I changed this from a 2 to a 3 because I literally forget 10x01-3 aren’t a mini season all on their own, but they still had Cole in them so it’s not going higher than that :P 10/30

Season 9 I literally quit watching over the MotW and the sort of sticky, itchy feeling they have is even worse than season 10 throughout the season, buuut 9x06 and 9x19 are in there. But Bloodlines was a motw. Let’s call it 4, give Berens a consolation cookie, and move on >.> The emotional arc is very strong and I love it a lot even though it’s all angsty and miserable, mostly because I skipped from 9x05 to 9x18 with a quick easy marathon through the Gadreel fight instead of watching along, and then read all the meta on it at once, and it’s got an excellent Destiel plot which a huge amount of the season rides on, so 10/10 because I said so. The plot, as well, flounders in the middle a bit for the angel wars but I think the Mark of Cain is a GOOD part of THIS side of the season and the demon!Dean build up and reveal was excellent, so I’d say 9/10 because once you apply the “Metatron wrote everything the angels do” theory it mostly all scrapes by. Ignoring the MotW, I usually put this as one of my favourite seasons despite the fact I ragequit it once. Overall 23/30

Season 8 has good MotW for the most part but there’s some eh ones and there’s ones I skip so hard I forget they’re part of canon, like the other weird dog episode, so maybe only 6/10. Robbie has another good year. I like Bitten, fight me :P Emotional arcs are much more painful - I’ve read all the meta on the Sam hit a dog fight but unlike the Gadreel one which I find interesting and complex, it bums me out AND feels manufactured, so 8x17 has got to prop the whole thing up to 5/10. The main plot is good. I love Kevin and the trials and Metatron’s introduction and Crowley as a main antagonist. 9/10 with a point deducted for letting Abaddon out and leaving the hell/purgatory portal open. Overall 20/10

Season 7 is a sneaky fave of mine as well because I’m awful :P Buckleming return and write MotW but Robbie arrives on the scene and I think bats a perfect game on his first try. So 7/10 because the other writers also weren’t awful and Plucky’s happened this season. I also think the emotional arc is harrowing but because I mostly remember this season through rewatches where it was all okay and I never knew Cas wasn’t supposed to be gone for good so his return seems waaay more Destiel to me than it might if you didn’t think the entire season was just manufactured to make Dean sad about Cas then give him back, 8/10. And the Leviathan plot was really nicely handled as a season-long big bad who caused a serious and damaging effect to their lives but then they scrounged up all their resources and killed Dick and also the main plot was a series of Dick jokes. so 10/10. 24/30

Season 6 on the other hand… 2/10 for MotW because this was just a resounding failure to make the MotW part of the main plot on the Eve arc but then make it all low budget dragons and spider dudes and mannequins and what have you. UGH. But there IS the fairy episode and it’s the one dang episode with no relevance to anything at all that season except Sam happens to be soulless in it which just adds to the fun. I am a bit uncertain about the emotional arc - it’s miserable for the most part and I am sad about Dean and Lisa being a disaster and going through all the steps of it being terrible. Dean is *buried* in everyone’s angst and problems and it doesn’t even really serve a purpose or let him break. The light in the dark is 6x20 which is going to haul this all the way up from what would have been like a 2 to 5. The plot is also a disaster and VISIBLY a disaster and even 6x20 has some tiny holes and stretches that can’t make it ALL work, though Edlund gives it his best. On the other hand “plot episodes” include Weekend at Bobby’s, Appointment in Samarra, The French Mistake, My Heart Will Go On, and Frontierland, and I am DYING for another season which delivers its main plot through crack episodes of utter gold star nonsense quality. I begrudingly give 7/10 but it’s marking up from like… 3 or something, instead of down from 10 :P Overall 14/30

Season 5… has awful MotW. I’m sorry, it does. All the ones that look like MotW but then turn out to be plot episodes are great (well, except for 5x09), but all the ones that stay MotW are like… Curious Case of Dean Winchester. Swap Meat. Blaaaaah. 3/10. I skip everything that isn’t about the apocalypse properly when I watch - thankfully there aren’t a whole lot of them. Emotional arc is the pay off of 5 years work and it doesn’t make me cry but it is a pretty great heaping of good emotional arc tying up and probably why a lot of the following seasons are wonky or go for manufactured drama to boot up the story properly. 10/10. Plot is almost omnipresent, mostly well-delivered, and although it is too melodramatic for “we literally knew we had a season 6 lined up” with a side order of “it definitely was meant to look like this all the way through and we didn’t cram in any last minute retcons or deuz ex machinas ha ha” *sweats nervously*, at least the original watch was a MEMORABLE JOURNEY so I give it 9/10 with a side-eye for rewatching and also with hindsight attempting to finish the story 1 or 8 seasons and counting from a reasonable place. Overall 22/30

Season 4 is my favourite but it has 4x11 aka “we want to intentionally write an episode so bad they’ll never air it and no one will watch it haha isn’t this a lark” right in the middle, so 9/10 for motw, 10/10 and 10/10 for everything else. Can you even explain season 4 to people who don’t get it? :P 29/30

Season 3 has the best motw to plot episodes ratio aside from season 12 probably. A WHOLE bunch of classics and only really 2 I dislike in it so I’d give it 8/10 because it is allowed to coast on those, and it’s about to take a hammering for emotional arc, because like season 10 it’s got a simple purpose that Dean Is Not Okay And Sam Wants To Save Him, which combines the same angry, reckless Dean and desperate miserable Sam, only then gets a writers’ strike bang in the middle so they’re even more frustrated and miserable and to no good end so 1/10. And I have a personal grudge against the show for ending forever after sending Dean to Hell because it got cancelled after the strike and I had to live with that for nearly 3 years before it turned out this was not, in fact, what had happened. 1/10 for the inevitable tanking of what looked like a strong start and just no way to salvage it but admit defeat and wait for season 4. Overall 10/30 

Season 2 is just 10/10 for motw, 10/10 for emotional arc and … maybe like 8 or 9 out of ten for plot. Let’s go with 8 with hindsight that season 4 and 5 trashed Azazel’s hard work so hard I see all the time people wondering “why did he have to go to SO MUCH trouble” and the only conclusion I got is “for shits and giggles” or to waffle about how no one knew anything for certain. (The other problem is that so much of what happens isn’t explained, and it saves a point because Croatoan finally got an answer *3* years later.) But I love season 2. Simple and gets the job done and hollows you out along the way and the much stronger follow up to the first season to really explore the characters and their trauma with a much better understanding of them. Overall 28/30.

Season 1 is more mixed for motw. They’re almost all of the episodes but Bugs and Racist Truck deserve the slamming Word of God keeps giving them in the story because they ARE racist and poorly plotted and relying on chance resolutions. I like the urban legends and the different feel it has to any other season as they find their feet with easy hunts but I don’t think a lot of them are classics in the same way season 2 episodes feel much more firmly covered in the show’s fingerprints because these are the patterns they go on to subvert or explore in much more abstract ways. Maybe 8/10. Characterisation is shaky and one note compared to later on some things, and the emotional arc is simple but also relies on John just not talking to them to the point of frustration and Sam and Dean are so isolated it’s claustrophobic at times. 7/10. But plot is simple and works and is the best hook to watch all the rest so 10/10. Overall 25/30

…

and yeah, adding up reasons I like the season against reasons I don’t, season 12 is way more watchable to me than season 10 even though they literally committed the same off-putting crime in the 21st episode both times. Other seasons score much worse for just being kinda meh or having two out of the three main reasons I enjoy something be really bad, like season 3 or 6, so even though there’s stuff I love in them, I think they’re worse overall seasons… 

I don’t know why I spent so much time on this. :P Lack of will to do anything else. Thanks for letting me ramble at you if you read this far :P