#but also know no matter what I do I'm not going to be able to keep myself composed

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

big question. i'm cis (afab) and my gf is trans (amab) and i'm sorta having a hard time reconciling something. i've been a hard line feminist since i was about 8, by 12 i was a practical library on everything and anything womens lib. i'm spending a lot more time around trans people especially my gf now and i'm sorta struggling to reconcile the trans experience with my feminism. like- i'll see trans women being like "i hate my body :(" "my voice is awful" "i need [x thing to try to pass] ugh" and like my first thought is always "NO! THATS HOW THEY FUCKING GET YOU!!! THE PATRIARCHY WANTS YOU TO HATE YOURSELF SO YOU ENSLAVE YOURSELF TO CAPITALISM AND LIVE IN A CONSTANT STATE OF NEED FOR NEW PRODUCTS TO WARD OFF THE EVER PRESENT SELF HATRED BROUGHT ON YOU BY SOCIETY" and they go "well then how do i pass/transition?" and i honestly don't know and i also don't know how far it goes before its no longer dysphoria but instead the intentional subjugation of women by patriarchy for profit. i wanna help my fellow ladies but i honestly don't know how to like- apply the feminism i was taught as a child to trans women and i want to learn as soon as possible so that i can start doing it like yesterday

hi there,

I'll be honest: if it feels hard to apply the feminism you learned as a kid to your trans friends, that's probably because the feminism you were taught didn't have trans woman in mind.

luckily, the answer to this is something that I consider to be feminism 101: what a woman does with her body is, ultimately, her fucking business.

listen: I agree with you that the beauty industry(TM) is evil. it's misogynistic, it's exploitative, it thrives by making women feel bad enough about themselves to make them spend money on shit they don't need, etc. we all know this.

now, having said that: women who like makeup or wear heels or get laser hair removal or whatever other asinine thing are not my oppressor, nor are they my enemy. dare I say, we have bigger problems.

we also need to consider that many trans women are coming to these choices from a VERY different place than many cis women are. while I think my fellow cis women really benefit from reminders that they're allowed to stop shaving or wearing eyeliner or dieting or whatever, that's because most of us have had those actions forced on us from very young ages and may genuinely need a hand to feel secure breaking out of those behaviors.

the majority of trans women are not coming from a background where they were encouraged to partake in the same personal grooming habits and modes of presentation as cis women; many of them have, in fact, been ostracized, bullied, threatened, and otherwise hurt because of forays into forms of presentation that are considered feminine. no matter how good your intentions may be, approaching your advice indelicately can, unfortunately, make you come across as no different than any transphobe on the street trying to enforce cisnormative societal expectations. it also must be said that, for many trans women, the ability to "pass" is a matter of security - for having their status as women recognized at all, and to avoid harassment and abuse in public spaces. if you live in America, like I do, politicians in power currently have an extremely explicit anti-trans agenda that can make it harrowing to be visible as a trans person, and trans women in particular are frequently targeted for violence.

there are absolutely critiques to be made the way the many trans women are expected to perform hyperfemininity. the notion that someone is duty bound to drastically change their appearance in order to transition at all is itself extremely rooted in cisnormativity, and "passing" is often contingent on being young, thin, able-bodied, reasonably wealthy, and hewing as closely to Eurocentric standards of beauty as possible. that's not awesome! but that's also not the fault of any individual; no trans person asked to be born into a world where gender norms are so narrow and failing to pass can come with a very real risk of physical danger.

also, if I can circle back to this: again, women who participate in aspects of the beauty industry are not our enemies. there are always going to be some number of women who enjoy doing their makeup or like spending time fussing over their little outfits or want breast implants or whatever. some of those women are going to be trans. my official feminist stance on this is that I don't give a shit, because I believe in bodily autonomy even when it involves things I would not do personally and the choices that individual women make about how they want to style their little meat body don't even crack the top 100 things that I'm worried about right now. it's actually kind of vitally important, politically, that trans people be able to safely pursue their preferred gender expression; while it's not particularly revolutionary for a cis woman to go outside all dolled up, whether a trans woman can do that safely is a pretty basic litmus test for how safe a given space is for queer people. it's a ridiculously low bar, and many places will still fail to clear it.

so, yeah, I don't know, dude. be there to talk to your trans girlies if they want to start unpacking some of the pressure they feel to conform to a very rigid idea of womanhood, but whether or not they can walk down the street in your neighborhood safely is a WAY bigger issue than whether they decide to do voice training or not.

if you really want to cut to the root of the insecurity and vulnerability that the beauty industry thrives on exploiting, your time is much better spent working to ensure the trans women in your life feel safe and supported and have a community where they can find support regardless of how they look.

necessary disclaimer I'm a cis girl, any transfemme folks please share your voice here and feel free to clap my ass if I've said something out of line.

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 3 part 3

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2])

lilia: falling through time, desperately trying to help alice

agatha: bitch I'm trying to save myself!!!!! oh she's so awkward when she thinks lilia's going mad. she's a moment away from grabbing a broom and going there, there like in that 30 rock scene

I know they had a relatively low budget for this show and it was such a blessing in disguise. they invested in great sets and instead of cgi they relied on classic cinema tricks that I find so satisfying?? Idk if it's just nostalgia talking. here they simply move the camera away for a moment, lower the lights and move the actor in position, and it makes for an amazing jumpscare.

baby lilia asking 'vuoi vedere?' do you want to see? because it is a choice for lilia. for a long time she chose not to use her gift- she was simply too powerful, she saw too much, and the knowledge of the future scarred her and made her an outcast among others

alice's smile at seeing a vision of her mom T-T

why inconvenient? what was jen doing? she was an obstetrician and midwife. she was helping women out with herbs and pagan knowledge passed down from mother to daughter. Back in the day midwives were struggling to get their skills recognized in an increasingly male dominated field, they were advocating alternative treatments for women constantly humiliated by condescending modern doctors - from forced bed rest to insane asylums to lobotomy in worst case scenarios. think Charlotte Perkins Gilman's short story, The Yellow Wallpaper. think about everything that happened to Virginia Woolf.

we know that alice was a teenager when lorna died in a fire. she wasn't well, alice says, and we see now that she had a drinking problem. it's equally possible that the demon got to her or that she set herself on fire out of desperation. and if lorna could feel her own mother dying, alice could too.

daang great zombie makeup on the teacher lady

lilia when her incredible abilities made her able to see Death: burdened by knowledge way beyond the scope of humanity she goes into exile

agatha when her incredible abilities made her able to see Death: you know what I'm gonna tap that

I saw people saying that because the Road wasn't real nothing that happened in the show mattered, that they all died for nothing. I disagree completely, and not only because Billy's chaos magic is so astonishingly powerful that he can create a functional Road out of thin air. like, it wasn't a trick, he made it real. But more importantly, what happened to these women, their experiences, their growth on the Road is real. Even if Billy didn't do it on purpose, even if it's fucked up that a teenager can essentially go, you know what would be cool? if they all experienced their deepest trauma! but that's the point, that's the point, that's the whole damn point of the show. life is chaos and nonsense and heartbreak, it's up to you to find a meaning where there isn't any. look at lilia! the lesson is not that you're going to die, but what you choose to do with the cards that you're dealt, with the time that you're given.

while Patti clearly has an american accent, she is speaking correct sicilian, tutti morti su' - they could have had her talk in italian and hardly anyone would have noticed, but they went above and beyond with the details. the latin in the show is also rather impressive, like they actually hired experts rather than relying on google translate

agatha has gotten too used to run leaving a pile of bodies behind. not so easy to consider them just food when you have to live alongside them and witness their feelings, is it?? first wanda and now this!

@perpetualanon pointed out yesterday that agatha also had selfish reasons for wanting to save billy, i.e. she didn't want to risk him being poisoned because who knows what horrors a hallucinating billy could create. Yes! exactly that! it's always worth saying that when agatha has these fleeting moments of compassion and altruism it's in the context of a whole lotta selfishness. i think of her as that drawing of Stitch's badness level, her whole body is almost filled to the brim with awfulness and there's only a thin layer of goodness that she's constantly trying to smother. her actions on the Road are almost entirely selfish, but for the first time in centuries she's surrounded by people, like Lilia here and Jen and Alice and especially Billy, who are accidentally nurturing her almost atrophied good side. and lemme tell you she's pissed about it!

of course these two don't know what a sous vide is, one is dirt poor and the other eats people.

I'm gonna take a stand for zoomers here, he might have never learned what counterclockwise means, but millennials like me would also have hesitated and tried to picture it in our minds. because a lot of us lack spacial intelligence and are generally rather dumb

the shock and terror on her face when she hears nicky crying

another great special effect achieved only with lights and the cast shuffling out of frame

they show the darkhold because they need to mislead viewers and can't give nicky's story away just yet, but doesn't it make sense that agatha would see it? all these centuries blaming rio, and deep down agatha is haunted not by Death, but by her own actions and choices. the way she kept Nicky isolated and unsafe. the way she insulted his memory by going on killing sprees instead of letting herself mourn. the way she used the darkhold to corrupt her soul more and more, because she was never brave enough to confront her guilt.

kathryn hahn really said, do you want Emotional Devastation???? do you wanna see a woman SUFFER? do you want your heart put through a blender??? I can do that in TWO seconds

agatha wants to NOT DIE so badly that she has to drop the clown act and give jen a proper pep talk. because she knows what makes people tick and she can uplift just as well as she can destroy, she can help jen because she knows her so well. there's always that potential there, all of agatha's talent and her intelligence and experience could shape her into a great mother and sister in a coven. a potential that evanora refused to see and that will likely never be fulfilled.

and the irony, the irony of never wanting to hurt jen, to deliberately avoid going after her - because she's a midwife. because nicky was stillborn, because she had to give birth alone in the woods. agatha believes with all her heart that jen's work is fundamentally good and important. and yet she was the one who bound and tortured and violated her. she was so fucking focused on herself that she didn't even realize she was tramping and destroying everything in her path like a mad steamroller. she allied with the enemy, she went against her community's best interests. there's a lot to think about there, I really want to explore it more

patti during that hot ones episode

NOW YOU GUYS REMEMBER HER. and of course it's alice who does

your internalized stereotypes are really testing lilia's patience, billy (and while they consider the oven sharon is writhing and dying on the table)

how it started: jen pushing lilia out of the way

how it ended: "you are my sister in the craft" 🥲

I love you patti lupone

alice is strong! alice is noble! alice is pure of heart!

gee i wonder why

they had to add a goonies poster in billy's room because of this scene, but i guess disney didn't want to buy the copyright so the poster says "the goofballs"

agatha shoving everyone and then kicking jen twice for good measure

my guilty pleasure is watching reactors on youtube (don't judge) and everyone, everyone had my same reaction to sharon's death: she is not really dead. it was too unceremonious, too sudden. you cannot have debra jo rupp unconscious for half an episode and then get rid of her like that, she's too talented, too funny, how can they keep the humor up without her? if sharon is gone they don't want to watch anymore! no, they're gonna bring her back for sure, they're witches, they're going to find a way.

And then Alice dies, and it's unfair, it's too sad, she just had her big victory! that doesn't sit right with you, that the writers would do her so dirty. And then Lilia dies.

Wanda said it from the very beginning: we cannot reverse death, no matter how sad it makes us. Some things are forever. Sharon's death was horrible and uncomfortable and senseless on purpose, because these shows are about the exploration of grief. How can you make peace with the impossible? How can you reconcile yourself with a nice fun lady dying after losing her last shred of agency, scared and alone and forgotten? Didn't she deserve so much more than being just a casualty of witchfolk drama? And how can you reconcile yourself with someone as good and as wonderful as Alice dying in such a cruel way? What about the death of a parent? of a spouse? of a child? What about your own death, as inevitable and inescapable as your birth?

I'm posting this one early cos I didn't sleep last night and I wanna take a nap now 🥲 when I'm tired i ramble, I knew that already. sorry-y!

we get to episode four tomorrow, and y'all know what, or rather WHO, that means!

go to episode 4 part 1

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Given we have finally gotten news regarding the anime what do you think about it being an adaptation of the manga?

I have some mixed opinions since we'll be seeing the same story for the 4th time at this point (game/manga/novel/anime) but there does appear to be some differences with each especially with each unique Yuu. I do think the OBs and fight choreography is best animated over a slice of life show.

I'm not expecting any major changes from the manga if any at all but I'm happy to see it animated at all. I do hope it is successful so that the other books get animated. I feel like we are in a purgatory of early TWST with how often we go back to the earlier books in different mediums.

[Referencing this news!]

Gonna be honest with you, I’m kinda numb to getting yet another adaptation of the main story (a story that, mind you, we've already heard ad nauseum). At this point, it really does feel like a never-ending purgatory or time loop where we are forced to relive Heartslabyul over and over and over 😅 Of course, I'm still looking forward to seeing the anime and watching some of the more complicated scenes play out (fights, flashback sequences, playing magift/spelldrive, etc.). However, I think I would have preferred something new...? For example, vignettes, the event stories, etc.

The anime being an adaptation of the manga is... fine? But that means the anime may also have the same issues that I have with the manga. Those would be:

We will never really be able to fully bond with or know Yuu on a deeper level since Yuu is constantly changing between books/seasons. We won't get to see how the Yuu of Heartslabyul interacts with characters in later books, we won't get to see how the Yuu of Octavinelle handled the Heartslabyul and Savanaclaw conflicts, etc. We won't see any of them grow or change as a result of interacting with the NRC cast. This sucks particularly because if you really love a particular Yuu, you know they won’t be sticking around.

Despite the Yuus being designed as foils for the OB boys of each respective arc, no special meaningful interactions come out of it. The reader/viewer is just left to draw the parallels but there is never a moment where Yuu and the OB boy reconcile about their similarities/differences, which would actually justify the frequent changing of the POV character.

Barely any alterations are made from the game's story, since the manga isn't allowed to deviate in significant ways. No matter how different the Yuu is, they cannot ever make a decision or even have dialogue that would actually change the story in interesting ways.

General time constraints (manga arcs are 20 chapters, seasons have a limited number of episodes).

Limited showing/screen time of some characters. Because the adaptation will be of the main story, some characters that make very bad first impressions (hi, book 2 Leona… hi, Sebek without the vignettes…) will maintain those bad first impressions and won’t have a chance to redeem themselves simply because the bonus content (vignettes, event stories, etc.) aren’t adapted. Other characters won’t get as much focus simply because they aren’t the OB boys. The former would mainly be a concern for anime/manga-only fans.

Most of my disappointment comes not from reliving the same story, but that we are reliving the same story with minimal changes. I would enjoy adaptations more if they actually played around with the source material and explored new avenues! It feels like a missed opportunity, you know??

As I said earlier in this post, this is NOT meant to be overly negative; this is healthy skepticism. I'd describe myself as still excited, but not as excited as I would be if the anime were about something else set in the Twst world. Hope that makes sense 🙏

I would also caution readers to take my concerns with a grain of salt; for all we know, maybe the anime will add new scenes or fix some of the issues I pointed out. We should wait until the anime is out to judge its content and quality for ourselves.

On a positive note though 🤡 M-Maybe we will see. Shirtless L*ona animated… because… y’know… Episode of Savanaclaw technically canonized it… HAHAHAh JK… unless…? 🥺 ��👈

[pinkyqily]

LJ AND HER SUPER COOL GIRLFRIEND [Lauren.James x reader]

Summary: Your girlfriend asked you to help her braid her hair and who are you to decline.

A/N: finally putting out a fic after months of not writing this is a fic that randomly came to me and I had to write it, I plan on updating this fic from time to time so stay tuned for that,if you have any requests for this feel free to let me know in my inbox and I'm also taking new requests if you have any send them my way.

ALSO THIS A REPOST FROM MY OLD ACCOUNT

Contains: Lauren james x blk reader, reader is black but feel free to use your imagination, why is the title this you may ask because this fic is like those romcom with the werid ass name that aren't that werid but ppl don't get it, plus this was how the fic idea came to me lj had a really cool gf so yeah, there's no tw just a lovey dovey fic 💘.

To say lauren was obsessed with you was an understatement because if she could worship you from dusk till dawn. She would, without hesitation people always seem to be surprised that someone like her could end up with a woman like you.

You find it stereotypical stupid just because you're both two women in a relationship it shouldn't matter what your pillars are cause of the world difference.

But in all honesty, you couldn't careless especially when you're with the woman who fulfills every single one of your desires and loves you down to earth.

One thing you loved about Lauren was her hair and how she embraced it. Even though it was rare, she would let anyone touch it unless she was getting it done that was all.

So today, when she had asked you to braid her hair before the match against arsenal, you couldn't pass on the moment.

You were scrolling on your phone while you waited for your girlfriend to come join you downstairs so you could start. Unknowingly to you didn't hear Lauren heading downstairs as you felt two pairs of hands grabbing you by your waist.

"Hello to you too james". You told her

"Hey, my love." She said has her arms where still wrapped around your waist.

"So what hairstyle are you thinking of doing?". You asked her.

I was thinking about doing sum cornrows my love".she said while laying her head on your lap.

"Umm good choice".you told her before getting started on her hair.

In between doing Lauren hair you had to stop her from trying to touch you if not you wouldn't be able to finish doing it but knowing lauren you knew she wouldn't give up without a fight.

So that's how you ended on the floor on top of her instead of finishing the rest.

"Lauren, let go of me we can do this later I got have to finish braiding your hair". You tried telling her which was no use cause the grip she had on your waist was strong.

"How about you give me a kiss then we can continue."

"But I already did". You said while rolling your eyes at her.

"Lips and cheeks are not the same thing babe".all of a sudden, you felt a light smack on your thighs.

"Lauren." You yelled out her name after

"I love listening to the sound of my name coming out your mouth."she told as her thumb brushed your lips.

After your Makeout session with Lauren, you we're finally able to finish doing the rest of her hair without any disturbances.

"Baby I'm done doing your hair." You called out only to realize she had fallen asleep on your lap, not being able to do anything about it you grabbed the blanket that was already on the couch and layed it around the both of you.

[drdemonprince]

on the topic of your "bad gender" posts, the one you made mentioning sexual abuse (especially by mothers) is something nobody talks about at all and I'm glad you mentioned it.

My psychiatrist said I have CPTSD after I went through a huge breakdown after putting pieces together that I've been experiencing long-term sexual abuse from my mother (incredibly long story, but you get the idea). I still completely struggle with seeing what she's done and does as abuse, because it is totally buried in my mind that it is not abusive or strange because she is my mother. No matter how many times my friends and partner say it's wrong, or things like "imagine if it was your father", or my DBT therapist is straight up with me and tells me I was groomed by her, I just cannot get the idea that her being my mother specifically makes her behavior acceptable. (especially since I didn't come out as broadly transmasc until I was 18, and was thus seen as a complete extension of her and her body prior to).

I genuinely cannot comprehend where the line is between normal care and abuse because of what I've learned (from her or otherwise) maternal care looks like "compared to" paternal. And I just haven't found anything that's been able to really help me grasp what I've experienced because I just cannot understand why, or what I can do. The only thing I've found with others describing my specific experience is the MDSA subreddit, which is usually just extremely triggering for me to browse (obviously the content, but also the daughter framing and just the everything about it) so I don't go there, but it has shown me that many of us have lived very similar experiences, we just rarely recognized it as abnormal because it was our mother. Perceiving men as the inherently "bad gender" especially in terms of sexual abuse just makes me see red, and is a lot of why this can keep going on unnoticed. I don't really know what I'm trying to say, and I'm sorry to dump this here. It's hard to discuss the nuance of it without being kinda specific. I just saw you mention it and I rarely see the topic brought up, so I guess I just wanted to say thank you for doing so

Thank you so much for sharing this, anon. SO many children endure parentification, spousification, covert incest, and sexual abuse at the hands of their mothers and never get that mistreatment recognized as such because people view women as benevolent, passive caretakers rather than full human beings who are capable of harm. Adults wield immense power over children, particularly parents, and this power structure functions in much the same way men's power over women does -- it makes children into the property of adults, and facilitates abuse.

You are not alone in this experience at all. I'm sure you've heard all about Jeannette McCurdy's Memoir, but if you haven't read it, you might find it affirming. The poet Anne Sexton also sexually abused her daughter, Linda, who wrote a memoir about it called Searching for Mercy Street that is also a powerful read. The host of the podcast The Mental Illness Happy Hour is an adult survivor of covert sexual abuse at the hand of his mother, and he speaks about it quite frequently and thoughtfully on his show, and has interviewed numerous guests who have also survived covert incest. As a male survivor of sexual abuse at the hands of a woman, he's a rare, needed voice, and I've gotten a ton out of listening to it. There's also a self-help book on covert incest that I've read and appreciated called Silently Seduced. You may also find value in Issendai's analysis of estranged parent forums -- lots of documentation of abusive female parents and how they justify themselves to be found there, and the author eviscerates it expertly.

I hope that reading and listening to some of this material will help you to more clearly see the outlines of your own abuse and to recognize it as wrong and distinct from true maternal care. It wasn't my mom who was the chief boundary violator in my household, it was my dad, but a lot of what he did mimicked the traditionally "maternal" abuse profile, and all these resources helped me wrap my head around it a lot better. It's triggering stuff, but I think it is worth plunging these depths when you feel safe to do so, to what ever degree you can comfortably manage. You might want to dig up the Mental Illness Happy Hour episodes specifically about the host's abuse experience first, since that focuses on a man's experience of having been groomed by his mom.

Thanks for writing. My inbox is open if you wanna talk. This stuff was a foundational trauma for me that I have processed heavily and I'm always willing to discuss it more with people who have been there. <3

[clairedaring]

brief points from spare me your mercy press con interviews

disclaimer: with VERY limited thai comprehension skills and auto subs, here are the few points i picked up from two torjj interviews (one with director wo and screenwriter lux, one without them). if any kind fans would like to fansub interesting bits from the interview, i'd love to be tagged in (boop @recentadultburnout)

1. The TorJJ interview with Wo and Lux

it took them FIVE years to find the right cast for spare me your mercy. they bought the rights to the novel 5 years ago.

screenwriter lux says that it's less a matter of finding talented actors with capability to play the roles but rather finding the people with the right age, ability, same attitude, same passion to tell the story of euthanasia because it's a sensitive subject matter

director wo compliments saying that he met a lot of talented actors but it's by chance that they were able to get tor and jj who share the same passion in telling the story

tor jokes that it's not easy to get a compliment from director wo like that. tor says that the subject matter is what pulled him into doing this project and that if he's decided to do something, he's fully committed to it.

jj says he feels the same and hope that everyone follows the story because not just his and tor's characters but everyone else is great

tor says he had to do homework for his character too since dr. kan is not like the doctor we usually see at the hospital, but one that specialises in treating terminally ill patients.

jj says that he was nervouse since it's his first time working with screenwriter lux and director wo, first time leading a one31 original. he wants everyone to follow the story since his character wasan will face a lot of problems in the story.

jj says everyone already know his first work with tor is in family we trust and at the time they were still getting to know each other so there's a bit of tuning and adjusting to each other but coming into this work (spare me your mercy), it just flows and is already easy for him when paired up with tor since the chemistry comes easily.

(on the subject of a very experienced supporting cast ) director wo says it's like he didn't have to direct at all because it's really easy to work with these experienced older actors. he doesn't want to spoil anything but the supporting actors are really good.

screenwriter lux says that since the story being told is quite complex, it was established from the beginning that they would cast actors who have the capability of delivering difficult performances, even if they're not main roles

2. The TorJJ only interview

jj says the first challenge is that smym is a series that follows an ongoing investigation so it'll be interesting for viewers to follow what's going on with each timeline and each case

for tor it's the fact that its neo? suspense genre. at first he thought it wouldn't be that difficult but he's grateful to learn a lot from elder doctors for his role. so it's a new experience.

when asked about his character being the one taking care of terminally ill patients, tor says he thinks that's the secondary story because the main story is the suspense (investigation). tor thinks the beats of the suspense genre is hard for his style of acting

but you've done dramas like this before? tor says but he doesn't really encounter suspense (genre) very often. for suspense genre, it's like you know it in your heart but you can't say it at all (i'm guessing he's talking about his character). it's verrrry difficult for me.

jj jokes that it's because tor met him (re: tor got jj as a partner for this drama) that tor's good at it. "i'm just joking joking joking"

from tor perspective, dr. kan is a doctor that we don't get to meet very often, even for tor himself, he's also getting to know this character as he took on the role of dr. kan -> proceeds to talk about how his character doesn't really treat/cure patients but is more like a partner with them until they end their life peacefully

tor did a lot of research for this role, with real palliative doctors but he has to admit that even with his research he does draw a line and he can't interfere to research real terminally ill patients because it will involve with their family as well. so he did as much research as he could but to see things that will disturb the privacy of real families, he can't do that

tor says he can only make assumptions from what he's researched and he accepts criticism if ppl say "you can't understand fully like that", he admits he can't bc he can only do so much research without affecting real life people.

jj says that it's difficult for him as well (in the role of police officer) because when entering crime scene, there's a lot of details. and the timelines for the series is a bit confusing (maybe he's talking about non-linear narrative?). so wasan may not be done with one case yet we're already jumping into another plotline (ah maybe he's talking about there being many different ongoing plot threads) which makes it interesting to follow along

for jj's character, he says it's not difficult like tor's character because his character is a detective who doesn't have things to hide so the approach to their respective characters is not the same

jj says it's not just enough that each characters have their own self-conflicts but there's also conflicts between them as a couple.

who's the one playing with the other's heart? tor says "if you think jj's character or mine is playing with the other's heart then you're WRONG"

so no one is playing with the other's heart? no one is fooling the other? no one is using love to trick the other? tor "no, love isn't something to be played with. BUT… EVERYONE in this story will be playing/tricking on each other. everyone is playing the everyone else's heart in this series"

tor "you will be able to see it from the first episode, that our identities (he's probably referring to their sexualities?????) are already told/being shown"

jj "let's talk about the first scene, when we first met. i think everyone will be able to tell that there's "something" going on" 🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈????? "i hope everyone will follow the series, because if i reveal it then you won't be excited for it"

"oooh you're playing a couple. how do you level up?" jj jokes "are you excited? ����i'm excited too ☺"

tor "this one i can spoil for you. the chemistry in our relationship will develop naturally and smoothly. very normally, very smoothly. i believe that if the actors could feel [the chemistry] the audience who watch it will be able to feel it as well"

"how complex/confusing is the series?" tor says "oooh do i have to count/quantify that? hmm, if you ask me if it's confusing or not, i'd say that it's not confusing but it's the overlapping events/plot threads that makes it confusing"

is there pressure to work/act in this? (i'm guessing the interviewer is implying abt starring in a bl series 🙄) jj says not much pressure on the acting aspect because they can communicate and it's easy between the two of them because they're already close with each other

are you prepared to face what will come next like the sns discussions or questions about this subject matter "euthanasia?" tor feels like they don't have to prepare for it because even though it is a sensitive subject, the series doesn't point to what's wrong/right idea about euthanasia. if you look more closely, it's more like a series that presents clashing beliefs on the subject matter of "euthanasia" to stimulate this discussion/debate in society. we can't control what ppl say on sns but what we're clear about is that the series does not intend to "teach" anyone anything. it's not like we're forcing ppl to debate this question. if you finish the series and have questions, then we can discuss. if you finish the series and just enjoy it for the investigation/ whodunit story, that's good as well.

jj was happy that the series was filmed in his hometown chiang mai and praises the production team for being very professional, arranging travelling and staying very convenient and comfortable.

[burningcheese-merchant]

Sorry for deviating from the current Topic (and from the theme of the blog) but do you have any Shadowvanilla/Pureshadow hcs or ideas? They're my favorite Beat x Ancient pair and your mind makes tasty food

One more ask before I log off and go do my damn work like I'm supposed to lol

Don't apologize, I really don't mind questions about stuff besides Evil Spice Man x Pretty Cheese Lady 😅 I enjoy quite a few ships within these games, PureShadow included. They're actually my #2 Beast x Ancient pair! #3 is split between MysticCacao and SilentLily, with the latter having an edge over the former. I'd probably have a more concrete enjoyment of HollySugar if I had an idea of what Eternal Sugar is actually like (which is hypocritical of me since we don't know Silent Salt either but whatever leave me alone), and also if I didn't love HollyCacao so much (they were actually my #1 straight ship before BurningCheese completely destroyed my life. It's also what keeps MysticCacao lower down the totem pole, as well. I love Dark, Depressed Person x Ray of Sunshine pairs, same thing with AbyssEel)

Blue Discount Bill Cipher x Cookie Jesus, here we gooooooo

I imagine that Shadow would be quite touchy, and likely rather silly and dramatic in how he satisfies his want/need for touch. He'll pinch Vanilla's cheeks. He'll hug Vanilla tight, from any and all sides (and he will try to sneak up and hug him by surprise if he can, because he thinks startling Vani is funny). He'll fiddle with Vanilla's hair. He'll also try to have Vanilla touch him, in turn; like grabbing Vanilla's hands and placing them on his waist, or looping Vanilla's arms around his neck. Just a touch-starved clown goblin thing (but Vani thinks it's cute, so it's ok)

Many, many mind games - but not necessarily the sort designed to torment, the ones legitimately meant to challenge and sharpen one's wit. Shadow gives Vanilla riddles and waits to see when and how he'll solve them (when, not if, because Vani actually is smart and Shadow loves it). They compete to see who can complete a crossword first (extremely large and highest difficulty possible). Games of chess that last all day, with that day ending with an equal amount of victories and losses on both sides. Above all else - and there's a lot, don't you worry - Shadow loves Vanilla's mind. His know-how, his mental fortitude. He considers Vanilla his only intellectual equal. He likes to put Vanilla's mind under pressure just to see how Vanilla will perform. And Vanilla never disappoints.

Vanilla knows Shadow well enough soon enough to know when Shadow is lying, even without the Light of Truth aiding his perception in any way. Shadow has tells, however subtle and controlled they are - and Vanilla comes to know them well, to the point that Shadow well and truly cannot fool him no matter what trick he pulls. (But it's fine; Shadow actually enjoys the frustration that comes with not being able to fool Vani anymore. It only pushes him to practice lying better. To perfect his craft. Vani is doing him a favor, in a way. He'll trick him again one of these days)

Lots of pet names and terms of endearment from Shadow to Vanilla, of varying degrees of silliness (but all equally sincere). Above all else, he's "Vani" and "Silly-Vanilly", but he's also the sun to Shadow's moon, the angel to Shadow's devil, the butter on his biscuit, the award to his stageplay, the wind beneath his wings, the hand rocking his cradle (lol wtf), the kindling to his wildfire, his cutie, his darling, his muse (Shadow calls him this a lot, too). He says it all with all the grinning confidence an unapologetically flirtatious clown can muster... Until Vani calls him "dear", then he immediately melts into a puddle of blue goo lol

Though he insists that he's found joy and peace in the present, Vanilla does miss his old kingdom - and Shadow knows it, because he likes to waltz in and make himself at home in Vani's thoughts and dreams a lot lol. In a rare moment of genuine sympathy (because Shadow does care about him, he might be a menace, and he might have an... interesting way of showing it, but he does love and adore his Vani), Shadow will sometimes try to manipulate his dreams into ones about the kingdom. About that idyllic past that he misses so much. He'll try to draw from what he can see of Vanilla's memories (which isn't much, admittedly; Vanilla's mind is surprisingly guarded) and use those to paint him pretty pictures of people and places that don't exist anymore. He doesn't actually know if it helps, Vani won't really say anything about it (or if he even notices it's Shadow doing it), but... he tries anyway, because being sad when someone else is sad is a garbage feeling and he wants it gone. And he wants Vani to smile. Vani has a nice smile. The prettiest smile he ever did see...

Shadow is actually fun and interesting to talk to, if you manage to undo all the webs of lies and half-truths and ploys for attention cocooning his stupid ass. And Vanilla puts in the effort, out of a genuine want to get to know Shadow - the real one, not whatever mask Shadow puts on for every situation. Shadow never says so, but... he appreciates it. It's rather touching. No one's done that in a long, long time... (Not that Shadow likes to talk about that, or his past at all, even with Vani's gentle insistence)

Shadow will not leave Vanilla alone ever lol. Whether in his mind or in person. Shadow is clingy and an attention-seeker, and he craves Vanilla's attention above all others'. Vanilla doesn't mind, he likes spending time with Shadow, but he does worry about how healthy it is to only want one person in your life and tries to encourage him to also spend time with others (to varying degrees of success)

Shadow is probably into bondage and Vani probably indulges him occasionally, provided he remembers their safe word and still respects Vani's boundaries in general

[ijustloveobeymeok]

U should talk about mc's strength since u talked abt Levi's strength 🔥🔥🔥

Well I'm not sure how MC strength correlates to Levi's but I don't mind doing so! Sorry if it's not as good as Levi's one, I'm obsessed with him.

-So for MC's biggest strength, it would be their charisma. -All points into charisma and they probably roll a nat 20 every time they need to use their charisma skills too.

-They have all of the demon brothers on their side, as well the king of hell and his aide, and even some angels. -Oh, and Solomon too. -Do you know what this means? -MC has insane political strength. -They have many strong figures backing them and that's the main reason that makes them so powerful.

-This is because MC is considered trustworthy. -They have proven time and time again that they can be trusted and are loyal. -Loyalty and kindness is a strength of its own, although not physical.

-And then there are the pacts. -The fact that they have seven powerful demons on their side is already a good show of power, but that's not the point I'm making rn. -According to what we know of pacts from Solomon, the pacts Mc has made with the demons are quite unusual. -There were almost no trade offs, meaning MC sacrificed almost nothing that can make the demons hold any power over them -And they're able to control them at free will without any side effects -I've seen a lot of people complain about this fact, saying it makes MC a Mary Sue. -But Solomon has mentioned time and again that there was something special about MC's magical constitution, so them being able to do this doesn't really come off as a shocker.

-On that note I'd like to point out MC is physically very weak. -Which should be a given considering they're a human amongst demons. -But -their mental strength is off the charts, even for a human. -They woke up alone and confused in the demon world (twice), faced the strongest demons right off the bat, dealt with all sorts off monsters, curses, and even foods that could've killed them, died -Their adaptability and perseverance is indeed something worth respecting.

So to conclude! For a human, MC is indeed strong. Yes their life has been threatened multiple times, but like I said their strength is in their mentality and characteristics, not vitality and physical. This should not come off as a surprise to y'all, they're literally the main character of an otome game. Bro's gotta have some sorta special-ness to them. I would also like to point MC literally represents us and anything we headcanon for them can be considered canon. So make your stronger than average MCs! Go wild! As long as we have fun does anything else truly matter?

[rizsu]

ꪆ୧ ── HUSH-HUSH ┊ KEEP IT A SECRET ﹑ JJK ⤿ starring: g. satoru ◟ choso ◟ sukuna ◟ f. toji.

꒰ love simulation ﹢ headcanon-type · most to least likely to keep your relationship a secret!

𖧷 · love, ‘su: i have nothing to say here but I Need To have this here for layout purposes. it Bothers me if its not there.

most likely 𓂃 can hold themselves back. choso and somewhat toji.

( pda = public display affection. )

listen, CHOSO can keep a secret, but leave it up to him and he would've made it known you two were dating. he's only keeping it a secret because you said to. when it comes to you, everyone knows he never questions your words.

in terms of pda . . . he doesn't do it — actually, he does, but only you know the true meaning to his touch. it's a regular thing to have an arm wrapped around your friend's shoulder, standing close to them, blah blah blah. you get the point: he keeps it entirely friendly.

this doesn't mean he's not clinging onto you the moment your peers aren't around! once they're out of his view, choso will not waste time to satisfy the itch he's been feeling. either he buries his head in your shoulder, whining about not being able to touch you at least, or his hands are intertwined with yours.

in mr. TOJI FUSHIGURO's case, your words are law. he usually sits back and let you do as you please — obviously he'd go along with whatever scheme you planned. he doesn't mind keeping to himself at all; he's not one for much pda anyway.

there are times where he gets touchy, though. he tries to keep it at a minimum, but don't let him be near you during a dinner-out with friends or anything of the sort. if he's seated next to you, trust, his hand will find comfort sitting on your thigh, occasionally squeezing here and there.

sometimes — really rare times — his friends suspect him. they don't reach the “are you dating y/n?” conclusion, but do they reach the “you got a thing for y/n or what?” one. it's all due to the fact that he softens his language with you. he doesn't curse, tone lowers an octave, and has a slight smile. three things his friends will never experience. he doesn't deny it, but he also doesn't confirm; he simply shrugs at their questions and never satisfies their curiosity.

least likely 𓂃 sorry, he's a bit selfish. satoru and sukuna.

SATORU . . . yeah, no. there's no way he would've succeeded. that's like asking him to not breathe for a day. when you brought up the idea of keeping the relationship a secret, he tried talking you out of it. why are you denying publicizing his affection for you? you must hate him, or are you hiding the fact that you're taken? satoru's dramatic, and his favourite literary device is hyperbole. he will exaggerate.

at first he tries his best to keep it a secret, but old habits die hard. calling you names clearly reserved for someone's romantic partner, arm snaked around your waist all the time, glaring at anyone who tries to flirt, giving you quick kisses — yeah, no way.

but, satoru does apologize for failing to obey! if you're mad at him for outing the relationship, he'll spend days upon days begging for forgiveness in creative ways til you accept his apology.

SUKUNA does not give a fuck. he's lived long enough to not care about secrecy. it's cute that you want to keep it on the low, but he prefers letting it known. pair that with him disliking physical contact with anyone else and you've got yourself the perfect recipe for disaster.

whenever he's not with you and someone approaches him — no matter the reason — he's quick to ring up his favourite sentence: yeah no, i'm taken. either that, or he's holding his palm up to reject them. he does not wish to engage with strangers. even his own friends struggle to get him out.

when he's with you, however, he's clinging to you like a magnet. game night with friends/family? he's pulling you to lean on him, doesn't fetch drinks for anyone but you, gets revenge for you if you lost the game, demands that they “go easy on y/n.” the list goes on. it took everyone zero time to put the clues together and figure out sukuna and you are a thing. it's entirely out-of-character for him to be nice in the first place.

[luckyjak]

how I would fix veilguard

general note: I enjoyed Dragon Age: The Veilguard and it is very easy, post game release, for me (a person who doesn't work for Bioware and isn't the game's developers) to sit back in my armchair and go "This is what they should have done instead." That said, this is the internet, and I have opinions, so let's roll.

also, spoilers, obviously.

First, I would have made two games out of the material in Veilguard, not one.

Game one (which we will still call The Veilguard) takes place in Northern Thedas. The beginning of the game is the same: you interrupt Solas's ritual, and Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain escape. However, rather than taking over Thedas together, the two decide to divide and conquer: Ghilan'nain takes over the North, and Elgar'nan takes over the South.

Most of the game stays the same. You still play as Rook; however, the game starts with Varric recruiting you, so you get a chance to spend time with Varric before, you know, Solas. You still recruit your seven friends. For pacing purposes, romance and friendship scenes occur faster. This is because we're going to end the game sooner.

We're going to shave off all of Act 3.

Why would we do this? Ghilan'nain and Elgar'nan are both stand-out villains who deserve their own time in the spotlight. As it is now, we hardly spend any time with Elgar'nan other than the constant looming threat of him, and Ghilan'nain mostly comes off as his lackey as opposed to a full-fledged "mother of monsters" she deserves to be. By splitting them into two games, each gets to shine as a villain, and Rook doesn't seem like such a overpowered protagonist who is able to kill (potentially) three elven gods.

So, where does Veilguard end? Last mission of The Veilguard should be "Isle of the Gods" and it should end exactly as that mission ends: Ghilan'nain's death, the realization of where Varric has been all along, and Solas trapping Rook in the Fade. Rook is trapped in the prison of regrets, realizes they are trapped, and then bam, end credits.

but wait, doesn't Veilguard suck now then? Most people agree acts 2 and 3 are the best part! And they are! But I think with tighter pacing, the whole game is improved. Remember, we are moving companion's Act 3 moments up to the end of Act 2 as well. We won't spend quite as long wondering when Lucanis will ever talk to us if we have his romance happen sooner, and that becomes true of all the companions.

So does the "Hero of the Veilguard" thing matter? It does, but not until the next game! Hold your horses!

--

So, now we make Game 5: Dragon Age: Dreadwolf. At the end of the last game, Solas established himself as a villain (by putting Rook in prison) so now it's time to really mess with that.

For starters: Game 5 cannot happen unless world state is included, and I'm talking about most of the Keep. Game 5 takes place in Southern Thedas, with the focus being on Fereldan, Orlais, and the Free Marches.

You play as the Inquisitor once more. You get to decide what happened between you and your LI in character creation: are you married now? Did you break up post-game? The game starts with you saying goodbye to your LI (if you still have one) then getting on a ship. No need for dialogue from LI, so no excuses about hunting down voice actors. The game starts with you getting a spirit hand, so that you can once again be the hero of the land. The ship is your Lighthouse, your base of operations that is always moving.

Your companions are:

dwarven grey warden woman (warrior)

human or elven orleasian bard man (rogue)

qunari runaway saarebas woman (mage)

spirit of wisdom (mage) *this is Solas in disguise, spying on you.

human avaar man (warrior)

human woman who definitely killed her husband (warrior)

dwarven artificer who is making bombs and got exiled to the surface (woman, rogue)

elf man who used to work for Solas but deflected (mage)

DLC character: my son Kieran, who is customizable, and also a blood mage

All of them are romancable if your Inky is single except for maybe Kieran.

Don't worry, though: you get frequent letters from your previous LI's giving you life updates (except for Solas but like. you know)

The core gameplay loop is sailing the Waking Sea to defend people from darkspawn and try to find more info on Elgar'nan, who is definitely causing trouble.

Places you visit:

Highever (Fereldan): I have legit always wanted to go there. Saving my origin character's hometown that is currently being ravaged by darkspawn? Fuck yeah

obviously, the slaughter of Denerim (Fereldan). Bonus points if we save the life of King Alistair/Queen Anora

Ostwick (Free Marches)

Val Royeaux (Orlais)

Cumberland (Orlais)

Maybe also Orzamar?

Jader

Final battle at Halamshiral because we love a callback.

Essentially, all the stuff we hear about in Inky's letters about the south, we now get to experience in the game.

Elgar'nan has done something fucky with time magic and now Halamshiral is half modern Orlais, half ancient elven empire. He's trying to bring the veil down, and Solas is unsure if he wants to stop him, or wait until he brings the Veil down to stop him.

Inky requests Rook from the Fade. Rook tells Inky about Solas's betrayal. Double-team Act 3 time, where people may still die depending on faction strengths in Veilguard, and who/what Inky has managed to save in Dreadwolf.

Assume you manage to stop Elgar'nan, and then the question becomes:

Do you, the Inquisitor, stop Solas? Save him from himself? Or die trying?

[maleyanderecafe]

Jimi-Kare: My Quiet Boyfriend (Mobile)

Created by: SEEC Inc.

Genre: Otome

This one is the last of the SEEC Inc games that I'm aware of that have a yandere in it (though only in one ending). Personally out of the three games, this is probably the one I like the least, though I do really like one of the cross dressing endings. Still though, it's a fun short otome mobile game that has a nice story. If you don't want to play the game, you can view the game and all of it's endings here.

The story starts with a flashback of Nao being teased for being girly as a child. Fir protects him from the bullies and promises to always protect him no matter what. However, when they reach middle school, the two of them went to different schools and thus were not able to see each other until they went to high school. Nao has changed into a more gloomy and shy person as a result. During this time, Nao and Fir are recruited to be the class's representative for a beauty competition. To get back at an annoying classmate Ryu, Fir gets Nao to change his appearance for the contest, starting out with changing his hair, taking his glasses off and wearing his clothes differently. Fir, though a bit pushy, is able to get Nao to look more presentable for the contest. As the two of them prepare for the contest, they hang out more, reminiscing about their past, going to play at a claw machine.

As the story plays out, Fir can get Nao to decide what he wants to wear for the competition or make the decision for him. This can result in him becoming kind of like a play boy, him dressing up more cool like a prince or crossdressing as a princess and of course him becoming a bit of a yandere.

For the yandere ending, Fir forces Nao to crossdress and even walk around outside of school while crossdressing. This leads to Nao seeing on the TV that when another lady felt a bit jealous of the attention that her male friend was getting when crossdressing, leading Nao to question what he and Fir's relationship is like. When asked if Fir is just doing it to kind of make fun of him, Fir apologizes stating that she had gone too far. Nao gets annoyed, pinning Fir down and stating that he is a man and doesn't like crossdressing. Nao ends up disappearing for a while, leading to Fir getting worried and going to his house to check in on him. She seems relieved that Nao is there, though in a more depressive state than normal, wearing his hair back to the way it was and a hoodie. After bringing Fir into his room, Nao ends up pinning Fir down, believing that Fir doesn't see him as a man and therefore that she should have known it was dangerous to go into a man's room. The scene ends ominously with Fir unable to escape due to Nao's strength and Nao stating he won't hold back anymore.

SEEC Inc usually makes some pretty good but short mobile games as seem with The Search for Haru and My Puppy Fiance, but I honestly am not the biggest fan of this one. There are some good scenes in this one, especially the cross dressing ending, but there's also a bunch of things I just can't really vibe with. Fir, like the female protagonists of the other two games, is generally a pretty proactive female lead, but while the other two have a more likable personality, Fir is... very pushy. Granted, she does hold back on a lot of her pushiness as it goes on, but I feel like she often pushes Nao into things he doesn't really want to do, like change his appearance or in one branch force him to crossdress. Although Nao does consent to doing these things, it does feel like he just did them because he was pressured to and not so much because he wanted to. He does later admit that he did want to change his appearance and that he was trying to find an opportunity to, but it doesn't really seem that way when we are pushing him around. The other thing I'm not a fan of is mostly just a me thing that happens a lot in otomes, but the entire "Look at me as a man" and "You should know now to step into a man's room" kind of thing. Again, this is something that happens a lot in straight media, but I always found it pretty annoying since it implies that the guy is going to do something bad to you if you're not careful, which... don't do that? Why do we have to assume that? Anyways, Nao's entire yandere/dark route has this kind of vibe, which is partially why I'm not the biggest fan of it.

That being said it is interesting seeing how Nao's insecurities and envy basically consume his being in that ending. I think during the entire route where Fir gets Nao to crossdress, he more or less feels uncomfortable, not only because he feels awkward about it but also because he feels like she doesn't see him in a romantic way, something that eventually escalates when Fir apologizes and apparently when she goes to his house and doesn't feel awkward while in his room. Though this is a small event and we don't get to really see what happens after this encounter. I do think it is a nice setup for what could eventually come to be.

Personally I really like the Princess Ending (because of course I do), though I admit that the Prince Ending is also one that is pretty good. I think the idea of the two crossdressing and eventually confessing afterwards for the contest is pretty good and fairly cute.

Overall, My Quiet Boyfriend is a good game, even if it's not really my favorite of the series. While the yandere actions of this game are pretty light, it's still a fun thing to watch through to see just what will happen with Nao as the story goes on.

[mar3ggiata]

professional help, c33. Liquid dinner.

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT AT THE END, LOVE YOU!!

simon riley x original character.

trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault, mentions of rape, trauma, sexual themes, swearing, use of alcohol and drugs, EDs and death.

song to listen to when reading this: Like it tends to do, Lizzy McAlpine

abstract: This is a very sad chapter honestly. Close to the end also, don't get your hopes up cause I'm telling you, it's not ending well. I should know, I'm from the literal future. So yeah, messed up things. Jude's a liar man, I've always told ya. She might seem all confident, smart, sexy, funny… whatever...

'I fucking hate you so much'.

She spun in her chair, covering her face with her hands, while Honey giggled from his seat. It was three in the afternoon, the day after her chat with Simon. She was at the listening post, they had lunch together, her, Roman and Honey after working at the code all morning. She had to reveal she had a look at it the night before, they argued for the first ten minutes asking why she got to see it before the others. 'It's because I'm privileged, let it go.' She admitted, a small smirk on her lips. 'No seriously, why didn't we know you had it, how did you get it?' Honey asked. She bit her lip, thinking of what to say to make the matter sound somewhat legal. 'You know the guy with the mask?' She said.

'Yes, unfortunately I have seen him.' Honey.

'Scary dude, what about him?' Roman.

She crossed her arms in front of her. She was wearing a comfy sweater under her very elegant blazer jacket. 'He gave it to me yesterday.' She explained. 'We worked together before, we're friends.' She said. All true, no? They're friends.

Honey mumbled something under his breath. 'That's not fair!' argued Roman, he went on some more saying how unfair it was she could see evidence before them just because she was friends with that scary soldier. They resumed their tasks, trying their best at cracking the code. It took longer than anticipated. They removed all the letters from the paper and examined the back, what would have been at the back of the newspaper page. They moved them around in the large table that once was Roman's desk, trying to make out a message. After lunch, she felt tired, she wanted and deserved a nap. Her contact lenses burned her eyes, plastic wrappers and boxes of Chinese takeout were scattered all over the place. Roman was yawning from his side of the room. That was when Honey figured it out. 'I fucking hate you so much'.

She spun in her chair, covering her face with her hands, while Honey giggled from his seat. She approached his desk. 'I found it I think', he said. 'I divided the letters in diagonal like this…' He drew a line with his finger and parted two sections of the original code. 'And I switched them…' She helped him move the letters, until she started to see it too. Words were starting to form. They found a pattern in the setting of the letters, which resembled the choice of cutting capital letters and lowercase letters. They found some of the words were already in English, some needed translation. They were written in English letters, but were Serbian words. 'Novo…' she mumbled while setting the four letters aside. It meant 'New'. It was Roman who was sent to call Price this time. He ran through the corridors of the base, saying sorry to every person he bumped into while trying to get to Price's office.

Unfortunately for him, he found Ghost first. 'Oi!' He called out, making Roman stop in his tracks and turn around. 'You in a rush?' He asked, taking a few steps in his direction. The young linguist looked up at Ghost, his eyes piercing through his soul through the skull plate mask. He mumbled something about the listening post, which clearly interested Ghost in the conversation. Listening post meant Alba. 'We need Price, we figured it out. The code, you know...' He was able to breathe out while regaining his composure. 'She with you?' The other man asked, before starting to walk towards Price's office. 'What…' Roman struggled to follow Ghost's fast walking pace, 'Oh Jude? Yeah, why?' He was given no answer. They both urged Price to follow them and, once in the listening post room, they found Honey and Alba at the desk, hunched over looking at the characters scattered around.

'It makes total fucking sense!' Alba shouted at the door, before awkwardly covering her mouth with her hands, realising Price and Simon were there. Roman let out a loud laugh, joining his two colleagues, even Honey seemed happy and joyful more than Simon ever saw him. He watched Alba smile at her friends, moving one more letter on the table, writing the message on paper. 'S… T, E and R…' Honey whispered. Once they were done, Price and Ghost were allowed to look at it and read it. Alba's eyes encountered Ghost's. Just for a second. She was happy, she was proud. She was gorgeous, he liked how the blazer jacket fell gently on her hips, he liked the strands of hair that were covering the sides of her cheeks, rosy cheeks. He liked the fuzzy sweater she was wearing, a warm beige sweater. He could touch it, feeling the softness.

The message made, indeed, total fucking sense. It said Novo Groblje, which meant new cemetery, it said 'twenty one, one, two two three', which they supposed meant 21st of January of that year. Novo Groblje was a cemetery complex in Belgrade. She stood by the table while Price and Simon examined their work. She patiently waited for them to read the message and ensure they were satisfied with what they saw. It was Simon's look that gave it away. His eyes, his gaze immediately rose to meet hers, he looked at her with dilated pupils, his kind, chocolate brown eyes. He was amused. Price told them they did a good job and to keep up with the listening post for a few more days, just in case they needed any more information about the trafficking, but other than that, they were done.

She went out that night. She put on a dress for the first time in ages. There weren't many bars open too late, Honey suggested drinks to celebrate, Roman said yes, Gaz overheard and took it as the best opportunity to ask her to go out with them. She said yes, she went home and went on a run with Jinx. She was so happy she could't even manage to sit still. She was ecstatic, she had a drink before going out, she had gin hidden somewhere in her kitchen. She wore a dress, just below the knee, it was cold out. It was tight around the waist but fell gently on her hips. Black lace adorned her ribcage, a pattern that looked like flowers on the skin of her breasts. She curled her hair, she put on earrings that looked like pearly rain drops. She wore heels, and got a cab, she didn't want to drive. She intentionally arrived twenty minutes late, she found Roman and Honey at a table in the corner, they were drinking beer. Kyle and Soap were at the counter speaking to a man she didn't know. Kyle whistled when he saw her walking in. 'Look who finally decided to stop working…' He gave her a quick side hug, which she reciprocated, then said hi to Soap. 'What are you drinking?' She let Kyle buy her a beer, she didn't bother choosing, whatever he was having was fine. She noticed his eyes travelling on her figure as she leaned on the counter, she allowed it. They sat for an hour at the table with her two other colleagues, she dragged the soldiers towards Honey and Roman so they could be all together. The conversation was simple and easy, anecdotes and funny stories. She was hiding a yawn with her hand and debating on going home when Johnny gasped. 'Look who showed up…' He whispered, causing her to turn around in the booth, looking towards the entrance of the bar. At eleven in the evening on a Saturday, Simon Riley made his way inside the bar, a crowded bar even. Black mask, leather jacket and, something she had never seen before on him, sneakers. He looked in their direction, a nod of the head to signal that he saw them. He approached the counter to order a drink. Alba got up a minute after, trying not to make it seem too obvious. She said she was gonna get another beer, she asked the boys to watch her purse.

Her heart started beating at a much quicker pace upon seeing him. Did the others invite him, was he there by himself? Maybe he didn't want to be bothered. Was he there to see his friends? She approached him, walked behind him and stood at his right. He turned towards her, his eyes not even reaching her face, slowly making their way up from her naked calves to her chest. 'I wasn't expecting you to come', she crossed her arms in front of her chest, forcing him to look her in the eyes. 'I can leave if you don't want me here.' He replied, to that she smiled. 'Can I buy you a drink?' She offered, making his heart skip a beat. 'To thank you for stealing classified evidence for me.' She said. He allowed himself to stare at her for a few more seconds before replying. Her hair was wavy, falling gently on her shoulders, her makeup shiny on her eyelids. She had some kind of eyeliner on that made the emerald green colour of her pupils stand out. Her cheeks were warm from the alcohol. 'How many have you had?' He asked. He realised he was flirting without even trying, he felt like he was giving in this kind of sin. She was the sin. He felt like the setting, the bar, the fact they were surrounded by strangers, dressed differently from their day to day… It made him feel like he could speak to her that way. 'Just one!' She sat on the stool behind her, reaching his eye level. 'Do I look drunk?' He smiled and shook his head. While he ordered their drinks, she gave their friend's table a look, finding Soap and Kyle staring. 'You guys celebrating?' She concentrated back on Simon. 'I told you Honey would figure it out.' She replied. He didn't have a balaclava on, he had a black surgical mask and the hat she gifted him for Christmas. He partly took off the mask, letting it hang on his right ear, so that his uncovered side faced the wall. She watched him take a sip of his drink.

'They know you're Alba' He said. She nearly choked on her beer.

'I told them you're Alba… by accident.' He corrected himself, like he needed to get that off his chest. She went pale under the lights of the bar.

'What…'

'I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking and I let it slip. Johnny and Gaz...' He looked at her, suddenly apologetic, like a lost puppy. She swallowed a lump in her throat, her blood rushing to her ears. What a way to ruin the night. 'It's fine.' She managed to mumble.

She was still recovering from that information when he spoke again. 'How are… hum.. how are rehearsals going?' He tried to change the subject to make her forget about his terrible revelation. She looked at him appalled, her eyes wide. 'Uhm… good.' She replied awkwardly. He was terrified his attempt to change the subject didn't work. His expression made her giggle, that awful silence between them made her facade crumble. 'Sorry, I'm gonna have to stop speaking to you, you're terrible at keeping secrets', she commented. He seemed to relax, his shoulders less tense. He was really afraid he'd upset her for a moment.

'That's not true…'

'Ah, you told everyone my one secret...' She was smiling at this point, dimples forming in her cheeks. Her left canine teeth was chipped. He drank some more. 'So… rehearsals?' He asked again. Her chest tightened, he really wanted to know? 'It's been hard, there's this one lift which is pretty intense with my dance partner', she fidgeted with a napkin on the wooden counter… 'But the hard part is Snow Queen really, there are 16 fuettés at the end of my first entrance which I can't seem to get right, cause I jump a lot during that part and I get tired, I don't think my left foot is strong enough for those many turns, you know, 16 fuettés is kind of a lot…' she rambled, maybe talking more to herself than to him at this point. But he was there, and you best believe he was listening. 'And then I can kinda relax in the second entrance, but still I got very embarrassed the other day cause I could only get five or six before getting dizzy…' she seemed to suddenly realise he was there. She covered her mouth with her hand, almost self conscious she might have said too much.

'What is a fuetté….' asked Simon.

She smiled, she giggled. 'Sorry… it's a turn on pointe, you turn and then you open your leg to spin again, and again…'

'16 times?'

'16 times, yes.'

'Sounds like a lot. Can't you do less?'

Her smile grew bigger, she felt giddy talking about her dance routine with him. 'That's the choreography…' He nodded. 'Are you getting deployed to Serbia?' She asked, her tone soft, he almost didn't ear her over the music and the noise of chatter in the bar. He shook his head. He explained they had soldiers there already and him and his task force were getting ready for another mission, they were going to get briefed the day after. 'Maybe they'll call you for this one as well… help us out.'

'You finally admit I was helpful then', her pure, proud, cheeky expression made him smile a bit.

'I never said you didn't help us numerous times.'

'What's the mission?' She asked. He said he didn't know yet. They heard a whistle coming from the table where their colleagues were sitting. It was Kyle urging them to go sit with them.

'I made it pretty obvious I left them there to come talk to you…'

He felt like the people around them disappeared, the noise, the smell of booze. She sat beside him or rather in front of him, her heels propped up on the stool, her lacy dress flowing, she looked like a lily, the flower. It could not be real, he couldn't even remember the last time he felt like that, drawn to someone, wanting to get close, touch her arm, feel her skin against his own. And be touched, and be hugged by her, he wanted her attention, he wanted her to look at him, acknowledge him at all times, he was special to her and he deserved her special treatment. He got chosen, over all the others, she just said it, there it was on paper. He didn't imagine it. 'You wanted to talk to me?' He asked, a breath. She leaned into the counter, she heard him cause she was closer. She nodded. 'Why?' He asked.

She smiled. Without putting on a show, she let her hand travel on the counter, until the tip or her pointy acrylic nail poked his finger, wrapped around the beer glass. 'Is it so strange that I want to?' It's not? Did she see past it? The mask, his appearance, the scars, the trauma, his attitude? Or was he never really Ghost when he was around her? Of course he was, she was just so strong and clever to just… see Simon as well. 'I'm not really…', he tried. He didn't push away her hand, his fingers slowly intertwining with hers. Her hands were cold.

'I don't really do this? I don't know when was the last time I actually… you know…', he didn't need to finish, she nodded. She didn't look pitiful. 'Do you want me to tell you why?' She murmured. He didn't really think she had a reason. When he nodded, she started to speak. She looked down at their hands, her fingers brushing his, not really holding his hand, rather exploring the patterns in his skin, tracing them with her nails. 'I think you're kind. You've always been nice to me, considerate. I can tell you care. You know, after last year and Arash and all…' she stopped to take a deep breath, '...it felt nice to have you.' He felt faint. She wasn't done. 'At Christmas and New Years…I think we're different and there are many things you experienced I can't comprehend and stuff about me that you wouldn't get, but… I don't know, I like spending time with you. And speaking to you.' She looked at him with the end of the sentence. His mouth was dry, he felt a strange ringing in his ear. He debated getting out of there, it all sounded absurd, it sure didn't apply to him. She spoke again. 'Was it too much?' She asked.

He was quick to shake his head, but words were just not coming out of his mouth. She let go of his hand, taking a sip and finishing her half pint. He imitated her. 'I guess…', he began, terrified waiting too long to reply would make her think he didn't somehow feel the same. 'I don't know, would you want to… I…' he stuttered and stopped, like he was checking his surroundings, like he was bracing for impact, '…would you like to go out maybe, to eat…' She had this adorable upside down smile on her face, her eyes glistening. 'Yes, sure.' She said.

He stared at her for a few more seconds, to ensure she wasn't gonna spontaneously combust after saying yes to that date. A date. She looked even more heavenly now, like he saw her under a different light. A date. He heard Gaz's voice behind him, probably coming towards the bar to ruin the moment. There were two women dancing to the music and laughing loudly. He heard the noise fo glass shattering on the floor, as someone dropped his drink. He watched her fix a strand of hair behind her ear, he thought he didn't really care at this point. She was his date.

'Want another beer?'

notes: so so late at night for my standards, apologies if you see any mistakes!! happy chapter, I feel full of love after writing this, too bad I'm gonna start writing the last chapter soon... as I promised hell, hell I will deliver. I feel like now is a good time to announce the follow up series to professional help, THE NIGHT OF THE TARANTULA, which will be posted in the next few months, featuring alba, simon and many others!! can you guess what I will be about?

taglist: @random-fandom-smoothie

@ghostlythots @sweetfemmefatal @natxpat @chavarriakeren647 @ravenmoore14 @farther-than-pleiades @internallyscreamings @hwromi @atoxicrat @cuti3maddi3 @deafeningkittenblaze @its-celeste @serene-hills @lexidoll12 @poohkie90 @lunatiquess

@warmedbythebody @katzykat @iristhemuse @azkza @keiraslayz @abbyandermine @jennyjencakes @dest-nai @corset-briefs @nutze-kekse @ilytsukiw @b3anspr0ut

@pondsblog @missyouzoe @fallenkitten @bigauthorrascalturkey @bethtay @angelynn-nicole @starluv @stargirlisworld @giyuuslittleslut @impossiblecupcakelight

@rkrivees-blog @ghosts-hoe @kam1snotverysmart @gauky76 @freyjaaasstuff @spicyspicyliving @scottpilgrimvsmyfists @courtney0-0 @shinchanboi @darling006 @my-therapist-hates-me

[thezombieprostitute]

Dragonfly - Part 4

Summary: Steve has just about everything he could ever want in life. He's got you, a baby on the way, and a successful Family. No one would dare interfere with that. Right?

A/N: Reader is female, pregnant. No other descriptors used.

Warnings: Death threats, Implied violence, Pregnancy. Please let me know if I missed any!

Part 3 -- Part 5

Series Masterlist

Steve quietly approaches you as you're sitting on the couch, feet propped up, snacking on your favorite ice cream. You see him and smile, making him sigh, "how are you so damn gorgeous?"

You roll your eyes and chuckle. "So how was the meeting with Bucky? It felt pretty quick."

"That's because I may have figured something out," Steve hesitates. "I want you to know I'm already having everyone double check, triple check my idea but, I think I know who Dragonfly is."

That gets your attention. You set the ice cream to the side and sit up, gesturing for Steve to join you on the couch. He sits and pulls you into his lap.

"Do you remember the night we first met?"

"How could I forget?" you scoff. "Wait...what's his name? The guy who drugged Monica?"

"I think it's him."

"That would certainly explain why I was targeted."

"After he got caught, rumor has it Kent's men made an example of him. Left him permanently scarred and dropped to the bottom rung of the group. Used him as a courier. Serious cut to his income, among other things."

"And he got caught because of me," you whisper.

Steve nods. "And with Kent's estate in a kind of limbo, he can't afford to keep an eye on all of his underlings so Walker is taking advantage of the lack of oversight." You shudder at the thought of that man walking around freely and Steve holds you tight. "I promise I'll keep you and Jack safe. No matter the cost, you are my priority."

"Don't say that," you scold. "There is such a thing as too high a cost."

"Not for you and Jack," he asserts.

"I don't want to lose you," you argue. "I've made peace with the fact that your job is dangerous but this man isn't stable! Promise me you'll keep yourself safe as best you can! I know you don't always think before you act when I'm in trouble."

"Do you blame me? You're the best thing to ever happen to me. I'm allowed to go at least a little feral when it comes to protecting you."

"A little, maybe, but I need you to not rush into danger like a damn honey badger! We need you."

Steve deflates a little as he rubs your belly. You hate seeing his beautiful blue eyes so clouded but you're not backing down on this.

When he finally faces you he says, "I can't promise to not do anything stupid." You shrug and nod your acceptance of that. "But I promise I'll listen to the advice of others when it comes to getting this guy."

You hug your arms around his neck and bring him in for a kiss. "Thank you for that."

The next week is spent with focusing on the baby's arrival. It's coming up soon, just a few more weeks or so, and you're both relieved and scared.

It doesn't hurt that baby prep is also a good way to distract Steve. More than a few times Bucky and Sam have thanked you for keeping him busy so they can actually do their work and not have to worry about him personally following every lead. You're able to keep him distracted with setting up the nursery (he insists on painting and assembling everything himself) and with taking care of your physical needs. Ever since he learned how much it helps you to have him hold up your belly, alleviating a lot of the weight from your back, he's been willing to drop everything else to do it again.

For his part, Steve is also grateful for your distractions. Trying to keep his brain focused on all of the upcoming parties and meetings, your due date, security, not hunting down August himself, and more would likely leave him too frazzled to do anything. You help give him focus, directing his angry energy into productivity. He swears his admiration for you grows with each day.

He's in the middle of rearranging the nursery to your liking when Bucky knocks on the door frame, "we got the confirmation. August Walker is the guy behind the Dragonfly contract. Financials confirmed he'd wisely held onto his savings after his fall. Added to it hear and there. But then a huge chunk got spent. The amount is an exact match for the down payment on the contract."

"Do we know where he is?"

"Not yet," Bucky shakes his head. "But all soldiers have been notified that, unless he's in one of our legitimate businesses, he's shoot-on-sight. If he is in one of our legit shops, he's to be reported and either stalled or followed."

"Good call," you add. "Make sure Sam's side of things stays clean, doesn't get investigated."

"Exactly," Bucky gives you a thankful look. He knows Steve would prefer to just have the guy shot on sight. Having your backing will help temper Steve's response.

Steve grunts, "fine. Just make sure I'm kept informed of every sighting."

"Of course," he nods before heading out.

Stepping out of the rocking chair you go over and hold Steve from behind. "I'm proud of you," you whisper.

"For what?"

"For not immediately storming out and burning down the city looking for him."

Steve grumbles, "only because you don't want me to."

"I can still be proud of you," you smile. "And I know you can feel little Jack moving around. He's proud of you, too."

That gets Steve to chuckle and you feel the tension in his body ease up a bit. He gently breaks your hold on him and turns around to embrace you.

"What more could I possibly ask for than my wife and child being proud of me?" he gently asks with a kiss.

Part 3 -- Part 5

Series Masterlist

Tags:

@alicedopey; @aryhyuuga; @cynic-spirit; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @jamneuromain;

@jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory; @ktficworld; @leryg0; @rayofdawnworld; @rebekahdawkins;

@ronearoundblindly; @talesofadragon; @texmexdarling; @thiquefunlover63

[hollowsart]

Thaal Sinestro of Korugar

-cracks knuckles-

Here's ALL of his lore that I cooked up:

(warning for: the sheer ungodly length of this, mentions of death, and a low-key humorous mention of alien physiology at the end cuz I couldn't help myself--)

(Some of this might still be a slight work in progress and/or may be subject to change later on. I'm not sure yet.)

-----

Backstory:

It wasn’t supposed to end that way. He wanted her to be safe and far away from the threat of action. Unfortunately.. he had made a mistake and it cost him greatly. Both heart and mind.

The loss of his wife.. the loss of his best friend, Abin Sur’s sister.. it caused quite the disruption in their friendship.

Some time well after that horrible event, Sinestro and Abin got into an altercation. An argument while out on duty. Abin had heard of Sinestro’s plans, but he didn’t agree with them. Both men were already still rocky and broken from the loss of Arin. So, when Sinestro was plotting some way of utilizing his GL powers to enforce order and protection.. no matter how unreasonable. Abin Sur lashed out. Calling him crazy, delusional, that nothing will ever bring her back.

Sinestro.. well.. he wasn’t thinking and without any ill intention.. he attacked Abin Sur. He only wanted to try and reason with him. He didn’t mean to do it.. but a stray blast from his ring managed to wreck the ship they were traveling in.. and the blast severely damaged Abin Sur.

..Sinestro fled the ship in horror, not seeing the fate of his friend as the ship hurtled down to a particular blue planet. The thought of having presumably killed his own partner and friend on top of having already dealt with the loss of his wife.. well.

That absolutely destroyed him. Shattered him so deeply.. he’s grown distant. Disconnected and apathetic. Bottling up, locking away, and throwing the key away with his emotions..

This was the beginning of the end of his GL career.. and the lead up to him being picked up by the Yellow Corps. The immense fear and angst building up inside him being strong enough he found a new life with the Yellow Lanterns. However, he couldn’t take the life and went rogue. Taking the ring with him and starting his own little sect.

----

imagine. some late series episode that ends with a little close up of some guy who looks a bit like Vincent Price for some reason lowering his newspaper and staring in Guy & Feste's direction as they head back home for the day after having a chat at some outdoor cafe.

you don't know who this weird guy is until it's later revealed that it was Sinestro. He ALSO used his ring to go incognito and appear human so as not to attract any attention while he "stalks" Guy & Feste for some reason idk I didn't think this far.

---

it kinda adds weight to the act of killing him. but like.. it probably killed Sinestro, too.. to do it. maybe it was an accident..? unintentional… during a fight.. and Sinestro was hiding it. and although Guy reminds him of Abin Sur… he hates Guy because he reminds him of Abin Sur and what he did to him. like a weird sort of "reincarnation" thing?? if that makes sense??

Guy being so angry at Sinestro for what he did feels almost cathartic for Sinestro cuz he knows he deserves it.

---

Sinestro sees occasional visions of his wife and friend begging and pleading for his help that will never come. This fuels his fear to power his ring. he needs fear to wield it. and that is a big fear. the repetitive action of losing his wife and friend and not being able to do anything about it.

---

Miscellaneous:

Soranik Natu was given the Natu surname as she was raised by another family. whether on Ungara or Korugar is undecided, but she does keep it.

Sinestro was unable to continue raising her as he was in no condition to do so, and Arin was.. well. out of the picture.

Sinestro sees Soranik and hears her name and he knows that's his daughter and he feels sick. She looks like her mother, he can see it. There's the underlying fear of what she may think of him and how much she may take after him. He is very aware of the terrible things he has done but he is blinded, in a sense, thinking what he is doing is for the greater good. to protect people..

To protect Soranik.

From a fate that fell upon Arin Sur and many others.

---

Soranik is like a combination of the two. her horns are smaller and so are her ears. she has tiny "tusks" (fangs?) compared to her mom.

but she also has elements similar to her dad.

also I can't help but think about Sinestro saying he wishes for his daughter to not become like him, but to instead become more like her mother. honor her memory. it's a terrible loss for the universe for someone like Arin Sur to no longer be in it..

---

I 100% want there to be a moment in an episode where Sinestro's backstory is revealed. like… his life he had up to when Guy first met him. We get to see just how tragic his backstory is.

There's been some subtle little hints here and there before, like someone from on Oa hearing Guy make a remark about Sinestro's weird earring and they tell him what they know.. how it's actually something very meaningful, a combination of two races and their culture. how it is a show of respect and mourning..

the mourning rituals of both Ungarans and Korugarians came together when Sinestro lost Arin. The piercings worn by those who lost a partner from Korugar.. and the wearing of a specific flora from Ungara..

Sinestro's mournful earring has a unique flora depicted hanging from it. A custom metal made to resemble that flora from Ungara.. to honor the memory of Arin Sur. He wears it always except when bathing or resting, but he keeps it with him ever so close at all times.

Should he lose that earring at all… well…

we might just see Sinestro become a Red Lantern.

---

I do kinda like the idea that Ungara and Korugar are relatively close planets with their own races inhabiting them. and because of this, the two races are uniquely compatible, genetically speaking, which leads to how Soranik Natu was born at all when Thaal Sinestro got with Abin Sur's sister, Arin Sur. Sinestro & Arin were the first ones to discover this.

Also, Ungarans are taller than Korugarians. Soranik stands a little taller than Sinestro.

Sinestro is 5'5" (average)

Soranik is 5'9"

Arin & Abin Sur: 6'6" 6'8" (average)

---

(Warning for alien physiology talk & humor)

what if Sinestro has never seen a human before and the first time he sees Guy shirtless in the Oa locker room he notices Guy only has 2 n1ps and Sinestro is like:

"Only 2? However will you feed all your young? Surely they should starve with such a lack of bodily provisions."

And Guy stands there extremely confused. Asks him what in the ever-loving heck he's talking about. Sinestro responds by merely removing his own clothes and presents his 8 n1ps.

Guy is understandably disturbed by the implications now registering in his mind.

If Guy ever mentions pregnancy, Sinestro responds "The women carry the young and the men provide for the young. ..What does your kind do? Don't tell me the women do all the work and that you're utterly useless? You humans are quite the odd creature."

Guy is very much offended.

[vodika-vibes]

omg I can absolutely request something for kix, literally I'll take anything i love him so much

i'm not too fussy but maybe something hurt/comfort vibes with non-established relationship? if that takes your fancy, can be sfw or nsfw however it works out

love your writing sm :)

Watching Over You

Summary: ou know that Kix is “dealing” with his new truth by not dealing with it, and you know it’s only a matter of time before he falls apart. You’ll be there for him, until he no longer needs you.

Pairing: Pre Pirate!Kix x GN!Reader

Word Count: 1113

Warnings: Kix is straight up not having a good time.

A/N: So, this could be seen as platonic or pre-romantic, but I'm happy with it, but that might just be because it's Kix. Anyway, I hope you like it!

Click HERE to be added to my taglist

“Alright, we’re all set,” You say as you step out of the shop while tugging your new gloves over your hands, “You sure you don’t need anything while we’re here?”

“From Nar Shaddaa?” Kix asks, as he tears his gaze away from a stall selling, probably stolen, speeders. “Hard pass. How do you know those are going to be any good?”

“Leather gloves are leather gloves, babe.” You counter as you hold your, now glove-covered, hands in front of your face, “They don’t need to be the best leather gloves in the galaxy, they just need to be able to protect my hands from the cold.”

Kix huffs, “You should let me run some blood tests. There’s no reason for you to be cold all of the time–”

“Hard pass, Doc.” You counter, “If I’m dying from some blood disease, I don’t want to know.”

Kix sighs again, and finally focuses his attention on you, “You’re impossible.”

“And yet still so adorable.”

“You keep telling yourself that.”

“Thanks! I will.”

He shoots you a look, and you grin at him, “Come on, Kix. Let’s get out of here before the Hutts take offense at our presence.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He falls into step next to you, while you chatter his ear off about anything and everything that crosses your mind.

In the almost year that you’ve known, and traveled, with Kix, you’ve learned that he doesn’t like quiet. When there’s too much quiet he gets lost in his own mind, and starts spiraling.

And so, you fill the silence with stories, with mindless chatter, with music or movies or shows. Anything and everything you can do to make his suffering a little easier, you will do.

Honestly, you’ve never spoken so much in your life as you have in the past year.

You stop mid-sentence, when you glance to the side and realize that Kix is no longer walking with you. Quickly, you scan the crowd around you, and you quickly find him.

At first, you’re not sure what caught his attention, but as you approach him, you see what his gaze is locked on, and your heart sinks. He’s standing in front of an electronics store. An electronics store that has a massive holo showing a documentary about Darth Vader and his 501st.

Your jaw clenches and you slowly exhale, before you move to his side and wrap your arms around his arm, “Kix.” You keep your gaze on his face, on the pained, almost lost, expression that he wears when he’s lost in the past, “It’s time to go.”

He doesn’t react to your voice, but he also doesn’t stop you when you start tugging him away from the shop. And he doesn’t fight you when you walk him back to the spaceport and back to your ship.

In fact, in spite of your chatter, Kix is completely silent. 

He doesn’t say anything until you’re back on your ship. “Hey, can we wait a bit before we take off?”

You watch him for a moment, “Why?”

“I’d like a proper shower, and the water shower doesn’t work properly in space.” Kix replies.

“Mm, yeah. Okay.”

You pretend that you don’t notice him grabbing the portable holo as he heads into the fresher, and half an hour later, when you hear a quiet sob from the fresher, you turn on some music so he can have some privacy.

There’s no way for you to understand his grief.

Kix once had 2 million brothers…and now he’s alone in the galaxy. Only, he’s not alone, he has you, and he’ll continue to have you until he no longer needs you. And even then, you’ll stick around until he tells you to leave.

Personal loyalty to your friends has always been your fatal flaw, according to your old school teachers.

When he finally emerges from the fresher, his eyes are red and he looks exhausted. Bone deep exhausted.

You watch him for a moment, and then you sigh, “Kix,”

He glances at you, “I’m fine.”

“You’re not okay, Kix. And that’s okay.” You set the bowl that you were using to make some meatballs on the counter and walk over to him to take his hands in yours, “I...have given you your space, but maybe I shouldn’t have.”

“Listen, you don’t have to do this.”

You squeeze his hands, “Yes, I do. I…cannot even begin to understand the kind of loss that you suffered. I can’t. No one can. But you’re not alone in this.”

“My whole family is dead, cyare.”

“That doesn’t mean you’re alone.” You counter, “I will be here for you, for as long as you accept it. And probably longer.”

He stares at you, and then he sighs and drops his cheek on the top of your head while hooking his arms around your waist, “I don’t deserve you.”

“You’re wrong about that too, but I can be patient with you.”

The pair of you don’t say anything for a while, “What are you making?”

“Meatballs. We’re having pasta for dinner. With homemade noodles.”

“Huh. Have you made the dough yet?”

You smile at him, “Nope, I know you like that part. The ingredients are in the fridge.”

Later, as he’s kneading the dough while you sing along to the radio and form meatballs, he turns down the music and glances at you out of the corner of his eye.

“What’s up?” You ask, without looking at him.

“Can I sleep with you tonight? I don’t want to be alone.”

“Whatever you need, Kix. You just need to ask.” You reply, turning to look at him with a fond smile on your face.

He’s quiet for a moment, and then he sighs, “Also…?”

“Hm?”

“Do you think you can put me in contact with Luke Skywalker? I’d like to get to know him…and maybe share some stories about his dad.”

“Mm, I don’t know if I can get you in contact with Master Skywalker, but I can probably get you in contact with General Organa-Solo.” You reply lightly, “She might be able to get you in touch with Master Skywalker.”

“...thanks, cyare.”

“Like I said, Kix. Whatever you need. For however long you need it.”

The pair of you go back to your respective projects and as you finish forming the last meatball and pull your food prep gloves off, he reaches over and takes your hand in his, “Thank you.”

You grin at him and thread your fingers with his to give his hand a squeeze, “No worries, Kix. I’ll watch over you until you’re ready to look after yourself. And then I’ll keep doing it. That’s what I do.”

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[nerdylilpeebee]

Actually women aren't murdered en-mass, men make up most murder victims. XD women are very safe from murder in comparison. It's also not even close to even a majority of men that rape or murder women.

I'm not making anything up, nor am I licking men's boots or hating immigrants. XD but okay, Hun, pretend like even if I gave you a source you wouldn't immediately go "oh, but this is rare so it doesn't matter. UwU"

From what I have found on the Laken Riley case that is 100% your reasoning. There is nothing suggesting the killer specifically targeted her because she was a woman he wanted to violate. In fact, nothing in the case that I can find suggests he raped her at all. There is someone claiming he went "hunting for females" but nothing I can find says that was actually his motivation. The evidence that he did tho, is pretty damning given they found his DNA under her fingernails and have a video showing he tossed away bloody clothes and gloves that they weren't able to recover. So if they're right about his motivation, you could AT THE VERY MINIMUM be right that he targeted her because she was a woman (for once). As for why calling him an illegal immigrant is more relevant: he is from Venezuela. Like it or not, that information is far more of a defining feature than "he's a man." "He's a man" tells us nothing.

No, you're a sexist harpy who thinks women can do no wrong. If you had even basic pattern recognition skills, you'd know that sexist generalizations is not a conclusion that can be drawn from any kind of pattern. And again, I don't hate immigrants. XD Not wanting people to enter the country illegally because the people that do are often violent (there is literally a gang of illegal immigrants that took over an apartment building. Said gang runs a child prostitution ring back in their country. Tell me, are those people we should be letting into our country just cuz they're "immigrants"? If you answer "yes" or try to weasel out a different response, I'm going to just assume all this concern you have for women is fake).

I know more about how immigration works than you do, clearly. And it's not ad-hominem, it's pointing out your behavior is incredibly bigoted.

With the Laken Riley case, everyone is focusing on the wrong aspect of the killer’s identity. Republicans talk about the fact that he’s an illegal immigrant, and not the far more relevant fact that he is a man. Immigrant women don’t brutally murder US citizens, men do. Republicans want to hide behind the fact that he’s an immigrant to cover up the fact that this was an attack caused by misogyny, not immigration status