#but also just like not what i'm used to with piano you know

[chenlezip]

haechan, the notebook ♡

⤷ summary : haechan, a poor man, falls in love with y/n who comes from wealth. they are forced to keep passion for each other aside due to societal pressure and a difference in the social stature of their families.

warning : smut, bit of angst, mentions of arguing - i uh.. don't know what else to add. annas note : the fourth of the movie series i'm doing for the dreamies !! and we have the notebook which healed and hurt me (i am currently rewatching it while writing and i'm sobbing while writing this) .

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haechan was infatuated with you ever since he first saw you at the carnival. he had to go after you, it was love at first sight. he couldn't let you go.. he had to have you. he had begged you for a date and you reluctantly agreed. your friends had dragged you and him to go see a movie, they just ended up making out and you both decided to walk home afterward.

after that day, you both got closer and spent nearly everyday together. grabbing ice cream, riding the bike down the road while you're sat on the front, going to the movies, meeting his father and gifting him a beautiful painting. you also went to the beach with him and spent a nice day bathing around and swimming in the ocean together, sharing loving kisses and soft touches between one another.. at the lake with your friends, him teasing you because you were too scared to swing into the water. "get in the water baby. baby.. would you get in?" he smiled, speaking to you with that oh so soft loving tone of voice he only used with you.

despite all that - you two were different, arguing nearly all the time but you both were so in love it didn't matter.

dinner with your parents seemed to go smoothly, you did wait until night to escape the house and spend some time with haechan. he brought you to an empty house, teaching you about how old it is.. full of cobwebs, how he wants to buy it one day and redecorate everything in it. "i want a white house with blue shutters.. and a room overlooking the river so i can paint." "anything else?" the male looked at you as you walked toward him, grinning.

"yes. i want a big old porch that wraps around the entire house. we can drink tea.. and watch the sun go down." "okay." "you promise? you ask with puppy eyes and of course he can't help but melt at the look on your face. "mm-hmm, i promise." he speaks quietly.

after a couple minutes of investigating the house, haechan left soft kisses trailing down your neck as you sat against the piano that was left. you both undressed, you felt nervous in front of him as you kneeled down in front of him, he joined you. you both shared soft kisses, "hae.. i know i said i wanted you to make love to me but i think you..." "yeah?" haechan asked as he looked at you, pulling apart enough to look at you. "you're gonna have to talk me through this." you pant out.

"did i hurt you?" "no no.. i'm just having a lot of thoughts.. like what are you thinking about right now? did you know this was gonna happen when you brought me here? uh- i'm talking too much.. mums the word."

haechan nodded, "okay, you alright though?" he whispers before you speak again, "i just don't understand how you're so quiet like.. you don't have one thought?" you ask. "i'm going crazy over here but no, with you, everything's fine. you don't have a care in the world?"

you sat up as you stared at him, he seemed.. annoyed. you apologise, "i wanted this to be perfect but i can't shut up." "i love you, did you know that?" tears well up in your eyes as you nod, "i love you too."

"you don't have to do this if you don't want to." but you both got interrupted by one of your friends, jeno, who let both of you know that your parents had called the cops to look for you seeming as it was 2am..

but after that day - after haechan heard your parents shouting that he's trash and not suitable for you, things between you both suffered.. he left you and you were going back home.

time skip a couple years after everything had gone down and you had visited the old house where you and haechan had went that time in summer a long time ago. he walked outside, a drink in hand as he stared at you, visibly shocked. he had grown and become more attractive - floppy hair, a little facial hair and more tanned. he had built the house you talked to him about.. white, blue shutters, a big porch.

"hello.. i uh, saw your photo in the papers. the one with you and the house.. i just wanted to see if you were okay." "do you wanna come in?"

you got accustomed to each other again - it felt familiar. spending time in a boat again, surrounded by swans, feeding them and talking about life.. how different the two of you are. "you did everything.. the house. it's beautiful what you did." "i promised you i would."

you both got out of the boat after he pulled it back up from the river. you couldn't help but run over to him and ask why he hadn't written to you. you had waited over 7 years. "now it's too late!" you shout, the heavy downpour making it hard to hear your normal speaking voice.

"i wrote you 365 letters. i wrote you everyday for a year."

"you wrote me!?" "yes! it wasn't over. it still isn't over."

haechan pulled you into a harsh kiss, all those pent up feelings for you coming back into it. you couldn't help yourself - you melted into it as he picked you up and held you against him tightly. he takes you inside the house, still holding you against him and kissing you. you couldn't help yourself, undressing him and yourself as he hurriedly took you upstairs to his bedroom. he pinned you against the bed, soft whimpers leaving your lips.

you both shared an intimate moment together, your moans and pants coming out laboured as he fucked you gently, passionately, the way he wanted to all those years ago. "lets do it again." you beg as you climb on top of him and lower yourself onto him.

your mum had visited and gave you the letters she had hidden from you. you sat down beside haechan in the porch. "so.. what are you going to do, y/n?" "i don't know.."

"we're back to that? are we back there? what about the past couple of days? they happened, you know!" haechan sat up a bit, leaning his arms on his thighs. "i know they happened and they were wonderful, but they were also very irresponsible! i have a fiance!"

haechan gets up from the chair, running a hand through his hair as he kicks it back away from him. "so you make love to me.. and then you go back to your husband!?!" he sounds so destroyed. "was that your plan!?"

you both get into a heated argument, arms flailing. "you're bored and you know it!" "you son of a bitch.." you shout as you walk back to your car. "look at us - we're already fighting!"

"thats what we do! we fight! you tell me when i'm being an arrogant son of a bitch and i tell you when you're being a pain in the ass - which you are.. 99% of the time! i'm not afraid to hurt your feelings."

he slams your car door shut and leans against it, you walk over and groan, "so what?"

"so what? it's not going to be easy, it's going to be really hard and we're going to have to work at this every single day but i want to that because i want you. i want all of you, forever, you and me. everyday." he has tears in his eyes and you can't help but break into a sob.

he continues, having a go at you and trying to make you decide who you're going to choose. "what do you want?" "it's not that simple-" " god damn it - what do you want?" he strains out.

you tell him you have to go. he walks away from your car and you immediately get in and drive away as he watches you, arms behind his head. he watches you go and that breaks your heart. you sob to yourself in the car, not watching where you're driving before swerving off the road and taking a breath. you just nearly crashed..

you decide to read the letters that haechan had wrote for you before continuing to drive off and wanting to leave him behind. maybe it was for the best.

tags : @injvns @polarisjisung @mejaemin @ayukas @hyckvr @yizhrt @blondemrk 

[halfdeadwallfly]

guys i want to learn how to play bass guitar so bad

[instantpansies]

and honestly, can i even call myself an artist? or a musician? when i have never had the passion or the dedication to work until ive mastered the techniques and honed my eyes and ears and connected with the paper and the piano? i dont want to do this forever. my art is only sometimes meaningful, my music is only sometimes moving. i am stranded in the space between obsession and apathy. if i think about what i will become i get nauseous. i'm no performer not really, the talent the teachers and relatives all pointed to is good, certainly, but not juilliard good. not concert pianist good. not international gallery good. and that's okay, you know? i don't need to be the best there's ever been. but i want to at least be good at something. jack of all trades master of none better than a master of one but i don't know, sometimes it would be nice to say i want to be a master of this. i want to devote my life to this. i won't get tired of this and grow to hate it. will i teach children piano in five years? will i spark in them an unwavering drive for music if i never felt it myself? how can i call myself a professional, how can i identify with my field of study, when i can't even promise to love it? and when my mentors say you have to be willing to devote yourself to the study, you have to be able to work at one small piece one tiny detail until it's beautiful, you have to become part of your instrument and never practice in front of people, never perform like you don't know what you're doing, never call your work good enough before you have wrung every drop of artistry out of it. when they say all that, i feel nothing but guilt. not motivation, not passion for the study. just another thing i can see in my future, another job i'll like enough but only be adequate at, another field i'll have proficiency in--but not mastery, never mastery. jack of all trades master of none better than a master of one but when they ask me what do you live for i cannot tell them

[astonmartinii]

(piano) keys to your heart | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem fan reader

who knew the fan stages could be so romantic?

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

f1

liked by liamlawson30, yukitsunoda0511 and 1,340,667 others

tagged: charles_leclerc, georgerussell63, lewishamilton, oscarpiastri & landonorris

f1: it's always chaos at the fan stages

view all comments

user1: what is in the air today?

user2: i think it's so early in the season that they haven't lost the will to live yet

user3: there's still light in their eyes LMAO

lewishamilton: let me just say... that was an experience

georgerussell63: i wish all media commitments were this entertaining

lewishamilton: we can only pray

user4: wait i'm so lost what happened at this damn fan stage

user5: there was a girl with a baby toy piano who played one of charles' songs for him 😭

user6: and he was SO IMPRESSED

user7: he was impressed? I WAS IMPRESSED like it sounded so good and it has five keys that make ANIMAL NOISES

user8: aniMAL NOISES???

pierregasly: i think i watched that man fall in love in real time

charles_leclerc: are you not also enchanted?

pierregasly: by animal sounds? no?

charles_leclerc: so rude! you wouldn't know real art even if it hit you in the face

pierregasly: nuh uh !!!

user9: girlies i do think he might be in love what is going on?

user10: has he even spoken to her other than through hundreds of people on a microphone?

charles_leclerc: can a hopeless romantic live ?

user11: yeah it's terminal people

user12: well i'm not gonna lie if someone learnt my music on such an esteemed instrument i'd also be flattered

charles_leclerc: EXACTLYYYYYY

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc and 12,309 others

yourusername: got to play a pretty boy piano this weekend, what about you?

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user15: PIANO WOMAN MY QUEEN

user16: you have a real piano?

yourusername: where do you think i honed my skills in order to play it on such a crazy model

yourbff: MAMA THERE'S 12,000 PEOPLE ON YOUR POST 💜

yourusername: act natural

yourbff: how can i ACT NATURAL BABE THE HOTTEST MAN IN THE WORLD IS IN YOUR LIKES

yourusername: as he should be

yourbff: i know for a fact you are not that chill rn ... i can hear you screaming from my house

yourusername: *harmonising

user17: we're all stalkers for being here but i'm pleasantly surprised with how funny she is

yourusername: damn ask me out on a date first

user18: so you are single queen?

yourusername: chronically so ...

charles_leclerc: i FOUND YOU

pierregasly: * i found you

oscarpiastri: not that i want the title of chief stalker but it was me (you have very niche mutual friends with my sisters)

yourusername: OMG OSCAR !!!!!!!!!!!! (tell hattie i said hi and take me to the next kpop concert)

charles_leclerc: so fuck me i guess

yourusername: i would love to fuck you, yes

charles_leclerc: oh hehehehehehehehehe

yourbff: for a man who is the sexiest in every room he's in, you're embarrassingly easy to please

lewishamilton: he's not the sexiest in every room, that is lewis hamilton erasure

yourbff: WHAT THE FUCK

user19: so is like all of the current f1 grid here?

maxverstappen1: i'm just here to watch charles embarrass himself

danielricciardo: i am retired but i must be interested in the exploits of my countrymen

pierregasly

liked by yukitsunoda0511, charles_leclerc and 885,489 others

tagged: charles_leclerc & kika.c.gomez

pierregasly: he's making us take a flight on our one week off

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user20: deadass if they're going to australia

user21: these are levels that i would actually completely expect from charles

user22: pierre and kika are better than me because a flight to AUSTRALIA oh no baby

maxverstappen1: well this is an update that SOMEONE (i'm talking about you pierre) forgot to put in the group chat

pierregasly: i'm kind of in the middle of a flight and sat to the nosiest motherfucker in the world

charles_leclerc: what group chat?

georgerussell63: nothing!

oscarpiastri: nothing!

landonorris: nothing!

alexalbon: nothing!

maxverstappen1: we're laughing about how down bad you are behind your back 👍

charles_leclerc: thanks max!

charles_leclerc: WAIT?

user23: oh charles how can you be so smart yet so dumb

user24: all brain power goes to f1 and piano

user25: and piano girl now apparently

yourbff: you're not being serious ....

pierregasly: deadly

yourusername: this is so charming

yourbff: this man is flying 24 HOURS TO SEE HER ???

yourusername: i'm not appreciating your tone rn

yourbff: oh no you're more than worth it pookie but DAMN the air miles

charles_leclerc: i chartered a private jet :D

yourbff: you're crazy

yourusername: i'm in love with you?

user26: guys i think they're just as insane as each other

user27: a match made in heaven i fear

liked by charles_leclerc & yourusername

yourusername

liked by yourbff, charles_leclerc and 41,298 others

tagged: charles_leclerc, pierregasly & kika.c.gomez

yourusername: guys there's a cute guy at my door (and a guy with a bad hairline but he doesn't matter (i love you kika))

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user29: chat - it's never been so over i fear

user30: we've lost him

yourusername: :P

user31: she's so unserious i love her

user32: i know every other wag wants to be this in our face so i respect it

charles_leclerc: i'm very happy to be the cute guy at your door

yourusername: you best be :)

charles_leclerc: i'm here to swipe you off your feet

yourusername: believe me you won't have to do much

charles_leclerc: i saw you have a proper piano ...

yourusername: you don't want to serenade me with my animal noise piano ???

user33: so like this is real? how did this actually happen?

user34: like surely they had met before this - it can't be the animal sounds piano of monaco that did it

user35: have you ever considered that maybe someone doing something as ridiculous but as time consuming as that is incredibly endearing

charles_leclerc: my love language is acts of service :)

pierregasly: i am sat in your living room and you're blasting my hairline on instagram?

yourusername: yes!

pierregasly: you know what? you two are perfect for each other

yourusername: i know :D

user36: oh to be a girl who has charles flying across the world for her

user37: if we get a video of them playing piano it might just kill me

maxverstappen1: interesting.... very interesting....

yourusername: can i help you?

maxverstappen1: just observing ....

yourusername: you're observing very loudly

charles_leclerc

liked by maxverstappen1, alexalbon and 1,894,300 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: obviously we had to take the real piano for a drive

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user38: killing myself <3

user39: the most rational reaction

user40: THEY'RE SO FUCKING CUTE (i want to die)

yourusername: as if you needed to be any more handsome

charles_leclerc: i gotta match your beauty some how

yourusername: SHUT THE FUCK UP

yourusername: YOU'RE SO CUTE

yourusername: and also objectively the most beautiful man in the world

lewishamilton: once again, stop lying to him please 🙏

yourusername: okay queen..... whatever you wanna hear

user41: lewis not being in the GC but always being here to stunt on charles is killing me

user42: getting in the psychological warfare for next year

yourusername: lewis hamilton psychological warfare (immovable object) vs sleep deprived y/n y/ln (unstoppable force)

lewishamilton: YOU'VE KNOWN HIM MAX A WEEK ???

yourusername: there's no set timeline for love girlypop

maxverstappen1: piano? this is boring

yourusername: i would post me treating him the way he should but that would violate instagram's guidelines sorry!

charles_leclerc: no !!! i don't wanna share you with anyone

maxverstappen1: i don't wanna see all that anyway

charles_leclerc: don't lie buddy

yourusername: you're just intimidated :P

user43: couples who bully max together, stay together

maxverstappen1: it seems that way ...

yourusername: omg we're so couple goals

charles_leclerc: we so are <3333

user44: CONFIRMATION???

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, yourbff and 68,309 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: guess i'm a recording artist now? oh and i have a bf, he's there i guess?

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user46: oh they want me dead

user47: ignoring this for my mental health

user48: they're 😭 so 😭 cute 😭 i'm 😭 so 😭 happy 😭 for 😭 you

charles_leclerc: no one i'd rather work with!! we've been in a whirlwinf but i'm glad i have you

yourusername: you have had the (piano) keys to my heart long before we met

charles_leclerc: i still had to charm you though ;)

yourusername: oh i was smitten straight away i was just trying to play it cool

pierregasly: you weren't very convincing

yourusername: i was ???

yourbff: the day you found out he was flying over to aus you did 20,000 steps just pacing in the living room

yourusername: well...

charles_leclerc: i found it very cute no worries

user49: they're so hilariously embarrassing for each other it's so cute

user50: i mean they're both insanely attractive so yeah i'd be just as nervous around them

user51: everyone is just hating on their whimsical love

arthurleclerc: so you're official and you've still not met us 🤨🤨🤨

yourusername: well............. i'm in aus what do you want me to do about that?

arthurleclerc: charles irresponsibly uses a private jet - i expect to see you for dinner this weekend ! (that's an order from maman)

yourusername: CHARLES I CAN'T LET YOUR MUM DOWN

maxverstappen1: does this mean i might get air max back in europe?

yourusername: you've been hating this whole time but it was YOUR JET THAT GOT CHARLES HERE?

maxverstappen1: and what?

yourusername: i'm just observing, loudly

charles_leclerc: he loves me really <3

yourusername: but not too much 🤨

charles_leclerc

liked by maxverstappen1, yourbff and 2,398,099 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: i am never complaining about media again

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user52: so when i do an interpretative dance as a cat to seduce max then what?

maxverstappen1: if you dare do that anywhere near me i am getting a restraining order

user52: anyone tell you you're no fun?

maxverstappen1: all the time, i'm still not going to fuck someone dressed as a cat 👍

yourusername: loving you is the easiest thing in the world

charles_leclerc: the most natural thing in my life - we were made for each other

yourusername: forged by the gods for each other and they decided to give me the prettiest boy in the world

yourusername: @lewishamilton i dare you to say otherwise

charles_leclerc: she's so protective 🤭🤭🤭

roscoelovescoco: ...

yourusername: i'll still fight your dog i have no shame when it comes to defending my man

user53: see this ^^ is appropriate action for wags i too would fight a bull dog to defend charles' honour

yourusername: it's the least i can do

charles_leclerc: i will literally run someone over with my ferrari

yourusername: considering i've seen your road parking - that's a real threat, so romantic

pierregasly: so i really am stuck with this for the rest of my life?

yourusername: it doesn't have to be a long life

pierregasly: you're breaking up with charles ???

yourusername: i'm threatening your life 👍

pierregasly: oh!

charles_leclerc: so romantic

user54: childhood friends being thrown under the bus? this is real romance

user55: and this all started with an animal sounds piano?

yourusername: i owe my baby cousin everything

charles_leclerc: does she want a ferrari?

fin.

note: HAPPY CHARLES LECLERC BIRTHDAY DAY TO ALL WHO CELEBRATE

[usuallydyinginside]

TLDR: Francesca Bridgerton is Autistic. Fight me.

Okay so I did not go into Season 3 of Bridgerton expecting to have any feelings about Francesca Bridgerton. We have seen her only in glimpses in the show and I have not read the books, so I knew basically nothing about her before binging the first four episodes.

But guys. GUYS. I will die for this autistic queen.

Okay, so starting with first impressions. We know that on her big day, Francesca went out of her way to avoid her nosy, loud family by having a very early, quiet breakfast by herself and then calming down via playing the piano (clearly a special interest of hers).

In her first balls, we see Francesca light up any time she talks about music (clearly her current or forever special interest) but as soon as men try to take it to a flirting place she IMMEDIATELY shuts down. It's clear that even as she states very matter-of-factly that she plans to marry this season, she also is baffled and uncomfortable any time someone tries to actually, ya know, court her.

At one of her first shindigs, she got attention and then went up to her brother and (while making almost no eye contact) told him (rather than asked him) that she needed a sec.

She then sat by herself in the side of the ballroom.

Later on, she left a ball in search of quiet and solitude to fix her sensory overload, so she went outside this time. (A thing that we know from pervious seasons is a HUGE no-no, particularly unchaperoned. But she was very respectfully near the door so maybe that's fine?) The point is that she cares very much about staying respectable so she can get this marriage thing over with and get people to stop perceiving her, yet she risks some scandal by going outside just so she can be somewhere quiet alone.

Enter: this absolute (also autistic) Prince Charming.

He says hello (so she knows he's not like trying to sneak up on her in the dark like a creep) and then just stands there. 10/10, no notes, best way to flirt I have ever seen in my life.

Seriously just look at this. I'm in love. Never before has there been a greater sign of love at first sight than in this "standing politely five feet apart in total silence in the middle of a ball and enjoying each other's company."

I need to go watch these first four episodes about a hundred more times, but I THINK this might be the first sincere smile we see from Francesca??!? I at least got the impression immediately that this is the first time she's felt genuinely comfortable and happy while not entirely alone this season.

Like, these nerds did not even exchange names. They barely exchanged a word. Yet you can see them falling head over heels in love right there in that moment. I don't even LIKE love at first sight tropes and they have my whole heart. They are the only exception.

Then, of course, you have this second absolutely iconic Scene of Silence where the entire Bridgerton family stares in neurotypical confusion a these two amazing weirdos. The way these two do not know each other but they DO know each other. The way they are both so happy and so comfortable but also still playing the whole society game the way they were told they had to?? I just don't have words right now.

LOOK AT HER SMILE, GUYSSSSSSSS.

Look how happy this tiny, silent moment is making her. How she understands immediately what he's doing and is absolutely delighted to participate too even knowing her entire family is hardcore judging them from not that far away.

And then you get this smug little look from him and it's like you can see his autistic ass thinking, "Yes. I calculated correctly. This was the correct romance option. Gold star to me." (Okay, maybe that's just how my brain works but shhhhh)

Which, of course, brings us to this absolutely hilariously awkward ND attempt at flirting. We start off with some fairly normal "whoops, I'm flustered cause you make me nervous" sort of moments, but notice how little eye contact she makes. How she only looks in his eyes very briefly and it seems like she almost has to remind herself to do so when she's doing the "polite" answers (OR later when she's genuinely interested in a topic).

So as soon as Francesca is like "oh shit, I ruined it. I forgot how to neurotypical. It's over" then she loses patience with the practiced social niceties.

I spent like 30 minutes trying to find a GIF and I should already be asleep so I'm not going to go learn how to make one BUT I needed to look up exactly what happens next cause it's basically the most autistic thing I've ever seen.

WHICH IS that in response to the second awkward silence after Francesca shares all of this, John's response is, "That is helpful. If you'll excuse me."

Then dude bro just WALKS AWAY WITHOUT ANOTHER WORD.

Like it would be awkward anyway but now Francesca thinks she misread a social cue so she's feeling sad, and meanwhile this absolute king is over here on a romantic mission no one asked him to do because he is that set on showing her he's listening and cares.

The man shows up at the ball and as soon as he had a paper we were all screaming "he wrote her a song!!!"

Again, notice the eye contact (or lack thereof). I think with period dramas and women, it's easy to just go "oh she's just shy" or "she's just being demure like she's supposed to" but like NO. This girl does not want to meet anyone's eyes.

Until she does. Because in moments where she's talking about music or enjoying quiet, it's worth it to purposefully meet his eyes and see how he's feeling too. To make sure he can see she's happy.

ANYWAY, it was so much better than him writing a song for her.

SO. MUCH. BETTER.

Because he didn't just give her any ol' music. He sought out the music they'd specifically heard in the street, and he took her exact specifications on what was "wrong" with the music, and he FIXED IT. He then put the whole thing on sheet music and handed her a copy with no further explanation than this.

Our autistic lass was so excited she basically sprinted out of that ball so she could find a piano. (Which, the fact that she does this rather than try to stay and flirt/dance with the man who just gave her this incredible gift ALSO says a lot, just saying. Daphne could never.)

So our girl finds a piano and GUYS. LOOK AT HOW HAPPY SHE IS.

I'm pretty sure this woman would accept a proposal right this second. Maybe make one herself. She is so head over heels in love with this man that it's absurd. We have watched her mask in these first four episodes, but the last two where she's interacting with John are the first times she seems genuinely happy and like the real her is shining through.

Like, does she enjoy her family? Sure. But it's obvious (and she even tells us) that she finds them overwhelming and generally to be A Lot. But these scenes? This gesture?

You can just get how seen she feels. How weird and wild and amazing it is to her that this man can see who she actually is and wants to join her there instead of making her play some part of the perfect Bridgerton who likes to be the center of attention.

(And even here - the EYE CONTACT. She glances at people when she's talking to them, but the way she looks at the sheet music is so much more intense and intimate and personal than anytime she's looking at the average person in the show. She still even in places she's most comfortable, such as sitting at the piano, makes very little eye contact and only at very specific moments.)

Anyway I'm going to sleep now but I'm sure I'll add more thoughts as they come to me. Feel free to add your own case for why Francesca is autistic and/or otherwise neurodivergent. I want to hear allllllll the thoughts.

[inkskinned]

i was raised by a catholic deacon so as a kid - maybe ages 7 to 14 - i would have told you that abortion was only okay in exception cases like rape. i didn't even really understand any of the terms at play here, only how to parrot that there were "few and far between" exceptions, but abortion-as-a-whole was irresponsible and evil. i believed it was a bad form of birth control.

for context's sake - i still had a flip phone. google wasn't really a thing back then. the whole narrative was akin to the apostle's creed: i don't know that i ever thought about what the words meant, only that this was what i was supposed to say when asked. i remember being in 4th grade and having it down pat - abortion is evil, except in cases such as rape. my father wasn't insensitive, after all - he acknowledged there might be medical necessity to end a life.

what changed was that at 14 i learned how hard it is to prove that a rape has happened.

it was a boy, actually. and his piano teacher. and him telling me, crying, that nobody believed him that he didn't want it. and what if she gets pregnant?

this is the mark in a lot of our lives: at some point, someone will confide in you, and then you see exactly how often it happens. how it happens so fucking loudly, and nobody says anything. how often your friends, nervous, will shakily admit that while they love their partner, there are a few times that they didn't really consent, that they didn't really want it. for others, there are nights half-remembered in bars. for others, they married their partner at 15, so now it's "fine", legally. for others, there are yes moments that felt like a no. there were no moments that were never acknowledged. you say no but are told you actually said yes because of what you were wearing or because he is good at swimming and his life would be ruined or because he's a nice guy or -

in the last 8 years, my father has become radicalized. he now believes in "no exceptions".

but the truth is that there was never going to be a true "exception" clause. there was never going to be a grey area. i am not even really sure they believe in the concept of rape. and if they did - how would you ever prove it? in the six weeks you have to state your case - when it takes years in a court of law - the "rape exception" would simply evaporate under the continued pregnancy. you were never going to have a moment where you could privately tell a doctor - it's because of a rape. there was no box you could check. there was no form you could file. it was always going to be assumed consensual until proven malignant. it was always going to be your fault.

they also knew they couldn't actually sell the rest of us on this idea of it's always blessed. they knew in their hearts that every pregnancy should be wanted. they knew going in that plenty of us - even raised catholic, even having had this shoved down our throats - plenty of us still had too many questions about what ifs.

it's just they just didn't want to come off as monsters. they patted our heads and taught us they weren't insensitive. they just had these beliefs. and then they put their hands on our bodies. and said if you don't listen, i'm going to force them.

[harrysfolklore]

charles leclerc answers the internet’s most searched questions

gif by @countingstars-17 <33

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

"Hi I'm Charles Leclerc and today I'm going to be answering the web's most searched questions about me."

Charles said to the camera, he was wearing his typical media day outfit, a Ferrari half zip up jacket and his baggy jeans, ones that no matter how hard his girlfriend tried to get rid off it was just impossible because he liked them too much.

"First question, what is Charles Leclerc's number?" he read on the iPad the Sky Sports team had given him to read the question, "I hope we are speaking about the driver number, because my girlfriend won't like that people are searching for my phone number on the internet and I'll be very worried if you can find it," the crew laughed at his comment, "But it's number 16."

"What is Charles Leclerc's favorite song?" he read the next question, "I think overall, it's Where is the Love by the Black Eyed Peas, but recently I've been loving Sabrina Carpenter's songs, and that's thanks to my girlfriend."

"Did Charles Leclerc retire?" he couldn't help but let out a laugh at the question, "Are people really asking this question? The answer is no, I'm not that old and I hope I don't look that old. I've still got many years in me I hope."

"Did Charles Leclerc win in Monaco?" a small smile played on his face, "The answer changed just a few weeks ago but yes I did. It was a really special moment, my mum cried, my brothers cried, my girlfriend cried. It was beautiful."

"Did Charles Leclerc adopt Oscar Piastri?," he couldn't help but laugh again, "That answer also changed a few weeks ago and yes I did. He's one of my sons now."

"Does Charles Leclerc speak Italian? Yes I do."

"Does Charles Leclerc have a sister? No I don't."

"Does Charles Leclerc have a girlfriend?" he could feel his cheeks blushing as he read, "Yes I do. And as you can tell, I talk a lot about her, so much that there are compilation videos of me just talking about her, I've seen them."

"Will Charles Leclerc win a championship?" he made a thinking face, "I'm curious to know what Google says about that one, but I'll say yes. At least if I work day and night for that, so I hope it will happen one day."

"Is Charles Leclerc good at cooking?" Charles chuckled. "Well, I like to think I'm decent. I can make a mean pasta and I really enjoy it, but my girlfriend is the real chef in our relationship. She loves baking, and her cookies are the best."

"Can Charles Leclerc play the piano? Well I'm not a pianist but I have enough skill to really enjoy it. So yeah, I can play the piano.

"Does Charles Leclerc have any pets?" he smiled warmly, "Yes, my girlfriend and I have a dog named Leo. He's a an absolute sweetheart. He even comes to some of the race weekends with us."

"What is Charles Leclerc's favorite date night activity?" he chuckled, raising an eyebrow, "Did my girlfriend search that?" the crew laughed, and Charles continued, "If she did, she knows I love our cozy movie nights at home, eating whatever we want and just chilling on the couch."

"Alright, last one," he said, looking back at the iPad, "What does Charles Leclerc do in his free time?" he read, "When I'm not racing or training, I enjoy spending time with my family, friends and my girlfriend of course. I love going to the beach, traveling or just relaxing at home."

He set the iPad down and looked directly into the camera. "Thank you for all the questions! I hope you learned something new about me. Until next time, ciao!"

did i reference my own fic here? anyway i hope you like thisss

[inbabylontheywept]

Weird Grandpa Story #2

I remember asking my mom once, if her dad had gotten ornerier as he'd gotten old. I'd heard about that happening, and it would've made sense for him. He was already the orneriest old cuss I'd ever met. Couldn't even imagine him being grumpier than he was.

Instead of answering the question directly, she told me about what it was like going to church with him as a kid. Their church was a small Mormon ward out in the sticks of Colorado, and he served as their Bishop - mostly by virtue of being the only one willing to do that much unpaid work. He was also the ward pianist. He actually liked playing piano, and he liked having an audience, so it was more or less understood that he was willing to be the bishop in exchange for being the pianist. 

Which could've been a good trade, but there were a few problems.

The first problem was that Grandpa Dale played every song at about triple speed. He was a deeply impatient person, and that extended to how he played music. The second problem was that he had a bad habit of cursing under his breath. That would've been a scandalous  enough habit for a Mormon bishop, but was made much worse (and also much funnier)  by him being pretty damn deaf. So what he thought of as "quiet" cursing under his breath was more of just a verse hoarse way of yelling. I only visited him for a week or two every summer, and I still learned most of my bad words from him. 

So every Sunday would start with a quiet prayer, and then Bishop Grandpa Dale would go to the piano, sit down, and play the nightcore version of Praise to the Man. He would occasionally play other hymns, but he really, really liked that one. This would continue until he hit a wrong note, which was basically inevitable because his music philosophy was that if he could play a song flawlessly, it was time to play it faster. So he'd play until he hit that wrong note, at which point he would scream-whisper SHIIIIIT and, because he did not actually read music so much as memorize it, the only way he'd be able to get his rhythm back was by going back to the start. 

If it was a good Sunday, he could get it in two tries. Some Sundays took as many as five. 

I learned two things about Grandpa Dale from this story. The first was that he could play piano. I'd never actually seen him do that before. Still haven't, come to think of it. Second was that the man that I visited once a year, who always seemed on the verge of exploding, who scared the absolute dickens out of me, was actually the chilled out version of the man my mom grew up with.

And it helped knowing that, actually. I'm actually a pretty anxious person, and my mom is, also, a pretty anxious person, and as a teenager we'd sometimes get in these doom loops where we'd wind each other up until our springs cracked. She'd be worried about me growing up to be happy, and I'd be worried about letting her down, and my worrying would make me unhappy, and my unhappiness would make her unhappy, and we'd just kind of dissolve into these anxieties like cotton candy in the sea and become totally unbearable to be around for a bit. Then my dad would sit us both down and very politely tell us that we were being crazy. He had this quote how being sad that someone else is sad that you're sad is the emotional equivalent of being a Klein flask and that at some point you have to just say I am allowed one (1) single layer of emotional recursion, at most, and ideally zero. 

And it was always kind of embarrassing and silly, but when I was tempted to be more upset with my mom about it, I could remember the piano story and go: Sheesh. She has more of a right to be anxious that I do. For me it's really just genetics, but she grew up with the Cactus-Killing Gopher-Smasher. A whole 18 years of that. I spent two weeks every summer with that guy, and I love him, but I always came home feeling like I'd survived something. She's a trooper.

[sidemari]

• "The way I love you"•

A short compilation of each character's ways of showing they love you.

Characters included: Aphelios, Hwei, Jayce, Jhin, Jinx, Sett, Silco, Viktor, Yone (separately and in this order) x GN!Reader

Warning: Mentions of Jhin's gun in his text section, since we're talking about a criminal psychopath, lol. Other than that, it's just a silly and cute post.

Aphelios

He must admit that his favorite place in the world is when you're sitting with him on the couch or even in bed, with your back against his torso, his legs wrapped around yours and his head resting on your shoulder as you read the pages of a book out loud.

"Some things are more precious because they don't last long"* You read the sentence, letting it sink in. "Do you agree with that, Phel?"

His eyes widened, he wasn't really paying attention to the story, even though it was a classic of literature. He was just enjoying how pleasant your voice sounded.

"I bet you weren't paying much attention"

He just nodded, his cheeks growing warm with embarrassment.

His hand squeezed yours in apology.

You squeezed it back, letting him know it was okay.

"Aren't you two adorable?" Alune sang in Aphelios's thoughts.

*"The Picture of Dorian Gray" reference.

Hwei

Letting you see his most secret artworks was the way he could show his love for you. Letting you participate in the creation of new pieces was also common, with him patiently guiding you through the process.

"Are you sure about this?" You asked anxiously, trembling when he put the paint-soaked brush in your hands. He just timidly smiled before nodding.

"You inspire not only my art, but my soul as well" His hand covered yours, helping you to put the final brushstrokes on the canvas. "I want you to be part of this"

Jayce

You could say this man likes to be a provider. That being said, he would do anything on his reach to make you happy.

And what usually makes you happy is a whole body massage after a full day of fiddling with trinkets and dealing with daunting equations in the lab.

You sighed in frustration as you laid down on the bed after showering, your aching muscles making you uncomfortable. His hands squeezed your shoulders gently, making you whimper softly.

"You're tense" His hands worked on the right places so you could finally relax. "Let me help you with that"

"You don't have to-" You couldn't finish your line, not when he was so efficiently taking away your pain.

"See?" He teased. "Let me spoil you a little, love"

Jhin

He allows you to play his piano, take off his mask and even hold Whisper - his gun - whenever you pleased. That was his deviant way of showing you were a slightly more important piece in his performance.

"When will you put this to good use, my muse?" He asked, playfully tracing patterns against your thigh with his gun. With the time you’d known him, you knew better than to give in to his distorted ideas.

"Preferably never" You muttered, taking Whisper off his hand and setting it aside. "I learned a new sheet while you were gone, wanna hear it?"

Jinx

She lives for cuddling with you.

It's always the peak of her day.

It feels so intimate and perfect.

Being with you, feeling the softness of your skin, the warmth of your body, the smell of your shampoo and cologne, feeling you melt against her, letting go of your worries as she hums a familiar tune, is the closest thing to heaven she could ever get.

"I could stay like this forever" You whispered, feeling her chuckle against your nape.

"Did you swap your shampoo brand?"

"Jinx…" You deadpanned.

"I'm just teasing you" She kissed your hair. "I could spend eternity with you in my arms"

Sett

This seems so obvious, but not only would he let you freely touch his ears, he would also ask you to give them the attention they need. Also, he would gladly allow you to see through his tough facade, giving you the chance to know how kind and pure he can be.

It was a funny scene, to say the least. A man of almost two meters of height, in his knees, with his head resting on your lap, confessions leaving his lips.

"This feels good…" He sighed, closing his eyes in bliss as you played with his ears. You pulled one of them playfully. "H-Hey!"

"You are really something" You mused.

Silco

Almost every night you can prepare for laying down on the couch, with your head on his lap, his fingers combing through your hair as he tells you stories about his past.

Often you fall asleep like that, with him taking you to your bedroom after he notices you wouldn't wake up so easily.

"We used to meet a lot back then, it was-" He was missing your voice responding to his comments. It was when he noticed you had fallen asleep, looking so vulnerable and precious as he played with your hair. "Guess I'll have to finish this story tomorrow"

Viktor

Brews coffee or makes tea for you every day, appearing by your side on the laboratory to help you unwind in the moments you were feeling exhausted or distressed with your work. It's his way of showing he cares about you.

"Here, have this" he squeezed your shoulders, taking your attention away from the trinkets above your desk.

"Hot chocolate today?" You asked quietly, standing up from your seat and taking the cup in your hands. "What made you change your mind?"

"It releases dopamine, you'll thank me later" He kissed the top of your head, making you sigh in delight.

Yone

Letting you in when his world was nothing but chaos was enough to show you he loved you dearly.

He had faced horrible creatures and devilish days for years straight, still, he let his guard down and allowed you to be part of his life when it was pure hell.

You caressed his hair with delicacy, soothing him after a day of battles.

"Can I hug you?" You asked quietly, your fingers now stroking his cheek.

"Please" He whispered against your lips, sighing heavily when you pulled him impossibly close, "You make me feel like I'm alive again" He muttered against your neck.

[kamiiik0]

☆ 𝙑𝙤𝙞𝙙 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙇𝙪𝙘𝙞𝙙 𝘿𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙜

This is gonna be a FULL guide to enter void state aka induce pure consciousness through lucid dreaming. I'm gonna start from the very basics, It's also gonna be the way i induce pure consciousness through lucid dreaming (Don't worry, it's easy), but I have also provided other methods if some people don't resonate with mine. Let us begin.

》 1. What is lucid dreaming?

Lucid dreaming is an of gaining awareness inside a dream. Basically it's just being aware that you're dreaming in a dream, which allows us to control and mold our dreams into the way we want, and also opens opportunities for interesting things like inducing pure consciousness, or more commonly for shifting. Lucid dreaming is extremely easy and anyone can do it.

》 2. How did I lucid dream? (and how you can do it too the easy way)

Personally, I just get a sudden realisation or a feeling inside my dream that goes "wait, I'm dreaming". IKeep in mind i've never done any methods or reality checks whatsoever, I just decide that I'm a lucid dreaming master (loaasumption) and can easily enter void state through lucid dreaming, and that was basically it. I used subliminals, (if you want me to link it then let me know), but the night I lucid dreamt i didn't listen to any subliminals, i just set the intention. But yes, they helped me a lot I'd say, you can definitely give them a try. And yes, I've succeeded through this method.

Basically, all you need to is intend to lucid dream, whether that be by deciding, affirming, repetition or by your own method. Personally, I just decide that I'll lucid dream tonight.

What i do after I realise I'm lucid dreaming (and what you should do too), I calm myself down, then I close my eyes (this immediately leads you to the void) and I start affirming things such as "I am pure consciousness", "I am in the void state", then i enter. Its a guaranteed void inducing method. and IF YOU WAKE UP IMMEDIATELY AFTER CLOSING YOUR EYES, then stabilise your dream for a bit by creating random stuffs or staying longer and exploring.

》 3. Other methods to lucid dreaming

If you don't resonate with the intention method, here are some other methods you can use:

a. Wake Back To Bed (WBTB)

Wake back to bed involves setting an alarm for 4.5-6 hours after you sleep. To be honest, you can use any alarm it doesn't have to be touchless. After waking up, stay awake for anywhere between 10-60 minutes, you can do anything just try to stay awake. After staying up for between 10-60 mins, go back to sleep. This sends you directly into the REM sleep stage which is associated with lucid dreaming.

b. Finger Induced Lucid Dream (FILD)

FILD involved setting an alarm anywhere after 2-3 hours. After waking up, lie down on your back and close your eyes. Then move your fingers like you're playing a piano and start visualization/ daydreaming (about anything). After that, your fingers will start to become less "noticeable". After 30 seconds of doing this, do a reality check like closing your nose and breathing. If you can breathe, you're dreaming. If not, repeat from the finger tapping again.

c. Dream Exit Induced Lucid Dream (DEILD)

In the DEILD method, you have to wake up WITHOUT physical moments. You can set an intention to wake up at x time, or use a touchless alarm for this. After waking up, remain completely still, moments can cause the brain to wake up. After that, imagine any scenario. Keep imagining, until your scenario has turned into a dream. (Your dream might exactly not be the same as your Scenario).

d. Mnemonic Induced Lucid Dreaming (MILD)

For MILD, set an alarm, for 5 hours. After waking up, try to recall your dream at your best ability. Identify any key signs that can help you know whether your dreaming or not if you re enter the dream. You can also use phrases like "next time I'm dreaming, I'll remember I'm dreaming". Then fall back asleep quickly.

4. 》 Things to remember while lucid dreaming

a. Calm down, getting overly excited can collapse your dream. Taking deep breaths help

b. Stabilise your dream by creating stuff, flying, or doing xyz things in your dream so you're properly grounded (Optional step, I personally just calmed myself down and affirmed for the void, but it can be important for some people)

c. FOR THE PEOPLE WHOSE DREAM COLLAPSE AS SOON AS THEY BECOME LUCID/ PEOPLE WHO WANT TO VIVIDIFY THEIR DREAM; I know collapsing your dream as soon as you become lucid sucks. So to prevent this, ▪︎Immediately start touching the ground as soon as you become lucid. ▪︎Start rubbing your hands together. ▪︎Yell, or tell your subconscious "I want clarity". ▪︎Keep your emotions in check, stay as calm as possible.

d. BE PATIENT! inducing pure consciousness may nor be immediate, it can take upto 5 minutes of affirming for some (usually not), but if you think you're affirming and nothing happened, keep doing it because I guarantee those 5 minutes extra of affirming are worth living your dream life.

5. 》 Why I prefer this method (and why might you too 😉)

Lucid dreaming is the most effective and guaranteed method to induce pure consciousness in my opinion. I tried inducing pure consciousness by relaxing and daydreaming, but i couldn't help but focus on my 3D a lot which left me discouraged, even after i succeeded. So I decided upon this method. This method will be extremely helpful for those who just suck at actually daydreaming without the "back of their mind" still focusing on the 3D (me lol).

This concludes our Lucid Dream guide. I might or might not edit it again, but if you have any questions then you can ask me! Now go live your dream life!

[auroreliis]

Hey there, I hope I'm not spamming your blog too much

Also long ask ahead I'm sorry

I would actually enjoy the idea of Batfam with a reader who tried to impress them/ bond with them trough their hobbies

Normally it's only done in neglect fics(no hate to those I love them) and id love to see the reaction in a more fluffy scenwrio

Dick? Reader shows up to every single a acrobatics completion he takes and cheer for him the loudest , and one day come up to dick and show him they won first place in an acrobatics competitons turns out reader has been practicing in secret to impress dick

Jason? Reader constantly exchanges books with recommendations with him, and pays full attention when they rant about how good/bad a book is, one day reader shily approaches him and offers him a book they wrote and published themselves

Cass?(Warning I know nothing about ballet) Reader always tries to get her tickets to shows she's interested in, and even gets her meet and greets/autograph with her favorite dancers, one day reader offer her a single ticket for a new shows , with the excuse that they could only get that, and turns out that reader is actually the main dancer in the show

And obviously with Damian reader is often with him when he paint, and if damian feels like talking, they ask him about what methods he's using and what "vision" he has for his painting, eventually reader ask him to judge their paintings.

(im skipping Steph and Tim, because

The ask is getting too long and because with Tim, his hobby is genuinely investigating mysteries, so that'd s bit complicated since it's mostly vigilante related work,and I don't remember if Steph has a Really specific hobbie that reader can try, she's would just be happy to spend time with them)

Hey! No worries about spamming :)

If you're trying hard to get along with them, then they get very excited and that leads to fluffy scenarios!

Dick would love to do acrobatics with you and he would make for a great mentor. Usually, Dick is known for being annoying, but this is only when you don't engage enough with him. However, when you do engage with him, he becomes a regular, affectionate older brother.

After you finish your daily acrobatic training, he usually carries you to your room and brings you whatever you want. Water? Of course, right away! Food? Alfred's already making it! You want him to put a film on? Yes, hopefully you don't mind him watching it too :)

Jason adores the fact that you like his recommendations when it comes to books. It's not that nobody else in the manor thinks his suggestions are good, it's just that he most values your opinion.

His favourite moments are when you and him are sitting in the library during the evening, drinking hot chocolate and reading books. Neither of you are talking, but the silence is comfortable. Sometimes, he stop reading to look over at you, but you don't notice, because you're so immersed in the story. He probably looks for more books to recommend to you, intending to sit in the library in silence again.

Tim has many hobbies and many hobbies that you are unable to take part in. However, Tim makes it quite easy to spend time with him. For example, watching films with him is something he suggests often. Somehow, Tim always know what you want to do without needing to hear you say it, so if a new show came out, he immediately runs to you and asks if you want to binge it with him.

Watching shows isn't the only thing you two do, though. Tim also enjoys talking to you about anything. You have a new hyperfixation? Tim is the FIRST person you have to tell, because he probably also has the same hyperfixation lol. Somehow, the two of you resonate on every possible level and that makes any mundane activity entertaining if both of you are present.

Stephanie didn't know what to say when you asked her to play the piano for you, but she couldn't just refuse, so she played for you. You can imagine her delight when you asked her to teach you how to play. It takes a while to learn to play the piano, but that just means she gets to spend more time with you :)

Cassandra is delighted to hear that you like ballet as much as she does. She would practice ballet with you and plan choreographies to challenge you a bit. Whenever a show worth watching came up, she would be the first to buy tickets for the two of you.

Much like with Jason, Cassandra is also comfortable with sitting in silence. She doesn't need to have a conversation with you to feel seen by you, just being in the same room is enough for her.

Painting with Damian has become a regular afternoon activity for you, though by "painting with", I mean "getting painted by", because as much as Damian believes in your ability to make great paintings, he sees something in you that makes you the perfect muse. Whenever he paints you, his paintings end up being brighter, they make his other paintings look bleak in comparison.

He finds himself adding some of your charm to other paintings. Whenever he paints a landscape, it looks empty without your favourite flowers in the field. If he paints a room in the manor, he adds some of your objects, perhaps your sweater is hanging over a chair in the corner, or your headphones are on the table in the living room. Now he is unsatisfied with every painting that doesn't have a hint of your presence in it.

[cordidy]

A few days ago I wrote this

https://www.tumblr.com/cordidy/769603546439172096/just-needed-to-get-this-out-of-my-head-after?

just because it was in my brain and I'm sooooo happy people liked it.

Here is the part two as demanded. I'm proud with how it came out and I hope you will love reading it as much as I loved writting it 😊

SPOILER for Sylus's Myth

TW : Alcohol, "lady of the night", sadness,

English is not my mother tongue BUT this time it was proofread by @thedeadstoryteller1 whom I love sooooo much for that.

“...Flowers bloom as far as the eye can see…”

“What did you say ?” You groaned, the familiar voice still in your ears as you opened an eye lazily, expecting an answer that never came.

Waking up felt like dying.

Spinning head, dizziness, whole body aching, clearly mistakes were made and atonement was due but God it still hurt.

Slowly opening your eyes as you tried to avoid the blinding light of the sun pouring into your room, you tried to recollect the events of last night…not very efficiently.

A quick look around.

You were alone in your room, not in a drunk tank and fully dressed indicating you did not do nor bring a mistake back home with you, thanks to your bodyguard.

Speaking of bodyguard, you found him in your kitchen, over the stove making ...pancakes ?

“So I did bring an ass…” you started in a tired and raspy voice as you made your way towards the counter before Sylus quickly gestured to his ear.

“I think I’ve been more than generous in my payment planning…”he said calmly while flipping a pancake in the pan as you grabbed a glass of water and some Tylenol before taking a seat, focusing your attention on him.

There was always something intrinsically fascinating when it came to him working. Most of the time you saw two types of Sylus, the asshole trying to get a rise out of you for his own entertainment (kind of cute honestly) or the combatant who would obliterate his enemies while using his Evol to throw things at you when fighting to “keep you on your toes” and because it was “fun”.

Seeing him do things as serious as negotiating a deal or doing his accounting reminded you he was not just a pain in your arse but also a very functioning person.

“Kieran, how many fingers does Mister Vaulric need to play the piano ?” He casually asked on the phone, making you choke on the water you were drinking.

Alright, a psychotic functioning adult…

Silence

He did not turn around when you threw a dishcloth at him, only lowering his head with a sigh.

“You have 1 more week. Increased loan interests, Kieran will handle the details” he finally said, setting the pancakes in a plate before putting them in front of you with a jar of jam, completely ignoring you and your gleaming eyes “Oh and I suggest you don’t leave the N109 Zone for now, we can’t guarantee your…safety…outside of it” he added before he ended the call and took a seat in front of you.

“Did you just threaten a guy in my kitchen ?” you asked, trying to sound casual but unable to hide the frown on your face. Yes you were friends with a criminal but you were still a law abiding citizen…

Besides, threats made with a lace apron sounded….weird.

“I don’t make threats , only warnings. Eat your pancakes” he retorted, casually sitting in front of you.

“I didn't expect to see you here ” you said while eating.

“Someone had to make sure you were alive after all the alcohol you drank last night”

Whoa, that was cold. You looked at him, uncomfortable.

“No I mean in the kitchen, knowing you, I half expected to wake up to you in my bed” you chuckled trying a bit of humor. Of course you trusted him, knowing he would never attempt anything if you could not or would not consent but…well, no harm in some banter right ?

The joke felt flat though as he remained silent.

“Sooooo no snarky comment about the way I look today with my hangover ? No making fun of me for my poor choices in life ? ” you asked him, trying to break the ice with a bit of teasing. Surely he wasn’t mad at you, was he ?

“Does your head hurt ?” he asked, still not looking at you, texting.

“Yeah ?” you answered your mouth full.

“Do you feel like an idiot for getting so shitfaced you don’t remember anything from last night ?”

You remained silent. 

Last night…clearly something happened last night.

Something bad judging by his attitude towards you. What...what did you do to deserve the cold shoulder from him of all people ? 

You were too slow to respond though as he was already getting up.

“Then the Universe already took care of it on my behalf” he simply said while putting his phone back in his pocket, clearly avoiding eye contact as he grabbed his jacket. “Drink water and take a nap” he added before leaving your apartment without even a goodbye.

Something was wrong.

“Hey, you did not really cut this guy's finger right ?” 

Clearly something was wrong between the two of you and it was starting to bug you.

“Everything alright ? No news for 2 weeks is soooo suss coming from you. Even your pigeon from Hell is not around“

That was the only explanation you had to the fact that Sylus had literally vanished from your life since that morning a month ago.

“Sylus, seriously I'm worried, you ok ?”

Then there was the issue of Luke and Kieran. 

1 month

1 FUCKING month without a call, without a text, without even a reaction on your Moments and the worst part ? It hurt !

At first you had figured he probably was busy with that Vaulric dude he had been talking to at your place and that’s why he did not answer your messages but a whole month just to deal with a loan gone late ?

“Look, I don’t know what’s going on but you….you’re not yourself lately…” Xavier said, leaving his boxing stance after you tripped while attacking him, barely avoiding falling face first on the ground thanks to your partner's quick reaction.

When you had not been able to reach Sylus, you turned to the twins for info, reassurance, a death certificate, anything to just know what was going on but still, nothing. You knew your messages were read by the pair so they had to be at least alive, but they remained unanswered.

This radio silence was starting to take a toll on you as reflected by your sleepless nights that turned you to a mess both physically and emotionally.

“I’m fine. Again !” you brushed off as the young man tried to get to the bottom of what was happening to you. While you had been the one insisting on sparring, hoping it would allow you to blow some steam off, you clearly were not at it and it was getting dangerous.

“No, I'm not fighting until you tell me what's happening !” 

You suppressed a frustrated growl.

Alright, if he wanted to be an easy target…

Next thing you knew, the easy target's fist met your nose as you tried a sneak attack and he reacted out of instinct, color draining from his face when he saw blood dripping from your nose.

“Fuck Y/n I'm sorry ! I…I didn't mean to !” 

This got you a week off duty and another scolding from your physician who had threatened to tie you up on a therapist's chair if you did not work on your current issues.

You didn’t need therapy, though, you needed answers and you were going to get them.

Kudos to Zayne for giving you the idea of tying Sylus up until he talked if need be.

Clearly you were not expected.

You didn’t know what to expect when you pushed Sylus’s office door open that night. Your nose was still puffy, wicks still in one of your nostrils, blood all over your shirt but you did not care what you looked like right now.

You wanted answers and he was going to give them to you, as soon as the stunning woman sitting on his desk, half naked, her long silver hair cascading her back, would be gone.

“I…”

There he was, sitting casually, his shirt half open, engrossed in conversation and your blood ran cold into your veins as the woman leaned towards Sylus to refill his glass with a giggle.

Based on his look, it was not the first…The sound of your voice got his attention though, and, for a split second, you saw shock in his eyes before the mask was up again.

Something you did not like.

“Oooooh, you invited a friend ? The more the merrier I guess but…I charge more for this kind of…fun…” the hooker cooed, playing with Sylus’s hair. “No offence sweety, women are just not my…first choice” she added, smiling at you.

Technically, he didn’t owe you anything. You were friends, nothing more, despite the constant flirting, the glances, the brushing of his hands…yet, seeing him with another woman stirred something inside of you. 

Maybe it was just the global exhaustion you were into but you felt a surge of…possessiveness towards him and you had to refrain yourself from jumping at the young woman in order to not claw her eyes out.

Seeing you hurt, Sylus, your Sylus anyway, would already be on you, checking your nose, getting the twins to bring you clean clothes while pestering you about the how ? When ? why ? and especially who’s teeth he needed to remove for doing that to you but all you got from the man in front of was a laconic “what happened to your nose ?” as he grabbed his glass, barely looking at you, focusing his attention on the young woman.

Part of you wanted to jump at him and hold him tight as you saw he was alive and well but at the same time you wanted to smash his head on the fucking mahogany desk for giving you the cold shoulder.

“What are you doing here ?”

“What I…” yeah, the head smashing was definitely an option as you walked towards him, trying to remain calm. “I came to see you since you decided to avoid me like the Plague lately” you said coldly.

“Leave us” he commanded the woman who didn't need to be told twice. 

She still seemed disappointed as she passed you before grabbing some cash on the coffee table, understanding the party was over. “Well, you saw me”

He remained silent and it made your blood boil with anger. 

“So this is what you’ve been doing for the past month ?” you asked, dumbfounded.

"As far as I can remember, what I do in my free time is none of your business” he pointed out in the same laconic tone.

“Alright…what did I do ? Ever since that night you brought me back home you've been avoiding me !”

You couldn’t bear his attitude towards you, the way he had left the situation fester and rot between you two.

“Don't…” he warned you.

So something did happen and, since you couldn’t remember a thing, you could only rely on him…

“What ? What happened ?! Did you try something ?” 

Deep down you knew it was not that. You trusted him and you knew he would never take advantage of the situation, hence why you called him but maybe…

“You tried something, I pushed you away and you didn't like that…”

…maybe provoking him…

“I think you should leave Y/n” he said in a straight tone, still avoiding your eyes and that's when you snapped.

“LOOK AT ME YOU FUCKING PRICK !” you yelled at him, losing control of your emotions, finally getting a reaction from him as he was not used to being bossed around or insulted. 

That’s when he saw them.

The tears you’ve been keeping up for the past month.

Neither of you could tell if they were tears of sadness, of frustration or of rage but right now, as you looked at him with so much anger and hate and…heartbreak, you were terrifying.

Breathtaking.

A vision for sore eyes that stirred something in him…

Truly and utterly terrified of the man you had been trusting with your life only a month ago.

“A month Sylus…A month without a word ! without a call, without a sign of life ! Do you have any idea how worried I was ?! I thought you were…you were…” you couldn’t say the words, couldn’t admit how the mere thought of it terrified you.

“What ? Dead ?” He let out a resentful  chuckle before taking a sip of whiskey “...you made sure this was never an option for me…” and the bitterness of words hit you like a tone of brick.

“You know…You’re good at that little game of yours” he added casually, finally rising from his chair, making his way towards you “I actually believed in that little…amnesia game…”

“What are you talking about ?” you asked, but he did not listen, too focused on his own train of thoughts.

“...But stupid people say stupid things when they get drunk…” he continued, puzzling you even more “What I don’t get though, is the why” he pondered like he was looking for the answer to a complex riddle.

“Please expla…” you started, confusion replacing the anger.

“STOP WITH THE BULLSHIT !” he yelled back, throwing his glass against the wall and, for the first time, you were scared of him. 

It didn’t take being a genius to know that, between brute strength and his Evol, you were no match if things were to go south. 

“I did everything you asked…” he started, getting closer as you slowly backed away, shaking.

“Sylus you're scaring me…” you said in a genuine tone, fear replacing anger.

“You're noisy…”

That voice again…his voice…

“We set the Sanctuary ablaze…”

“...Fulfilled all of your mortal desirs…” his words dripped…hatred.

He was obviously drunk.

And dangerous.

“Stay back” you warned him, looking for the gun at your belt before aiming at him. Not that it would be of any use anyway but it could eventually buy you time.

“...3 chances..”

“You remind me of a young…”

“I WILL shoot you if you don't back the fuck away Sy !” you warned him but he didn’t stop and you couldn’t bring yourself to shoot.

Your head started to spin as he kept getting closer, your hand shaking, your will faltering as the smell of smoke filled your nose.

Smoke ? What smoke ? What Sanctuary ?

Just like in those nightmares plaguing your nights ever since Sylus and you Resonated…

“We bathed in the blood of your enemies and danced on the corpses of those who wronged you…” 

You could hear it, the screams of terror as fire drowned the city and you laughed in bliss, strong hands laced around you

“Are you satisfied, Beloved ?” 

“Sylus I don’t feel alright…” you whispered as you started to stumble, feeling the familiar sensation of a new Resonnance which didn’t make sense as resonating with him was a tedious process.

It could not happen just like that…could it ?

You were having a hard time focusing on him and his image started to shift ? Almost as if reality was...glitching...and you needed to close your eyes from the dizziness.

When you opened them again, his head was pressed against your gun.

 “Don’t know where to aim ? I can tell you…” he said and the way his eyes darkened was a striking contrast with the tenderness he used to caress your cheek and you couldn’t help but lean into his palm, like you were not holding a gun at his face.

“Only the fiend's archnemesis can kill it…” he whispers with pleading eyes.

“...My dragon is…here”

“Sylus…”

“I curse your soul” 

The words spilled out of your mouth…echoes from a buried past…

“Why Beloved ?” he asked in a broken voice, clearly lost in his own thoughts , closing his eyes as tears poured down your cheeks while you were unable to steady your hand.

“I curse your soul…to never fade away”

“Why would you do this to me ?” He asked, dropping to his knees, abandoning all pride as he laid his heart bare to you.

“You'll always be tied to me, forever”

“Why would you pretend we are not one ?” 

“Only I can grant you a true death”

“I just want you back…Please come back to me…” he pleaded, ready to give you his life if you asked him. 

Again

______________________________________________________________

Tagglist as requested : @crowskitten22 @deliriousdreamsabtyou @nappatheyappa @withering-dream @sylusfluffymeow @everythingistaken00 @unacielooo @shroomiethefrogwhisperer @minniestarmj @idkwhatimdoing27 @evil-mei @hrts4hanniehae @silverbrain @kindalonely-ngl @katykibbs

[gigiszn]

gwi-nam smut....😈

JUST A DREAM — gwinam x fem!reader

 ۫ ꣑ৎ ｡𖦹°‧⭑.ᐟ 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄! LADIES one at a time.. im only one sexy woman.. but since y'all asked so politely (and 10 times in my inbox) here is your GWINAM SMUT.. also i'm so sorry if i haven't gotten back to you but rn based on requests i'm also writing a gwi-nam fluff and a thg story! plus updating cheong-san fic tmrw prob idk whenever i feel like it okay?!?!?!

y'all know the smut gonna be good when you never even HEARD of the warnings (i didn't know the names of the kinks until i googled them)

tw: somnophilia, dom!gwinam, sub!reader, humiliation, dacryphilia, orgasm denial, begging, p in v, oral (f receiving), begging, hybristophilia, hair pulling, slapping, creampie, no use of y/n (though no name or features are described).

as always, you're responsible for the media you consume. read if u want, don't if you don't.

wc: 2.3k

 ۫ ꣑ৎ ｡𖦹°‧⭑.ᐟ

The hours had dragged on, each second thick with tension. One moment, you and On-Jo had been sitting close, sharing a quiet laugh as she nervously gushed about Bare-Su. Her voice had been light, teasing, but there was something raw in the way she spoke—something unspoken between you, an energy you couldn't quite place. Then, without warning, the world had shattered around you. The laughter faded into the harsh reality of your classmates turned monsters—feral, mindless creatures, chasing you down with a hunger you could feel deep in your bones.

The panic had set in quickly. The hallways had become a maze, the sound of shuffling footsteps and eerie growls echoing around you. You’d lost On-Jo, lost track of everything. Alone, terrified, you had found a classroom to hide in, slamming the door behind you, and for a brief moment, it had seemed like you were safe. But that security was short-lived.

The zombies had found the door, clawing at the wood, their nails scraping as they drew nearer. You knew you couldn’t stay here forever. The fear gripped you, cold and suffocating. You refused to let it end like this—not after you’d had to kill one of your own. You had to survive.

Taking a deep breath, you checked the door one last time. The sounds of the undead grew louder, and you knew it was only a matter of time before they broke through. Without thinking, you darted out of the classroom, running as fast as you could, the adrenaline coursing through your veins. Each step was desperate, each breath labored. Your heart pounded, not from exhaustion, but from the raw terror that fueled you forward.

You spotted the music room just ahead, a glimpse of hope in the chaos. You pushed open the door, slamming it behind you, your back pressed against it for a moment, trying to catch your breath. The quiet that enveloped you felt surreal after the chaos outside. The room was still, untouched, as if time had stopped. The air smelled of dust and old wood, but there was a certain calm to it, a strange peace you didn’t think you’d ever feel again.

You quickly scanned the room. It was empty, save for a broken piano and scattered instruments. In the corner, there was a closet—small, tucked away from view. You moved toward it with quick steps, but then froze. A body lay crushed under the piano, clawing at the air above you in a desperate attempt to eat your brain, a grotesque reminder of the horrors outside.

Shaking your head, you pushed the thought aside. You needed to focus. The last thing you wanted was to think about the things you’d just barely escaped. You moved to the farthest corner of the room, a chair in the corner catching your eye. With a tired sigh, you sank into it, your body aching, your mind still racing.

The room was silent again, and for a brief, fleeting moment, you allowed yourself to relax. Your muscles, tense from the fight and the fear, finally started to release. Your breathing slowed, but it was difficult to let go completely. You hadn’t let yourself rest in what felt like forever. The memories of the chaos—of your friends, of the ones you had lost—were fresh and raw in your mind.

You closed your eyes for just a moment, exhaustion overtaking you. The outside world felt far away, the sounds of the zombies muffled. Here, in this room, you were safe—for now.

And that was all that mattered.

 ۫ ꣑ৎ ｡𖦹°‧⭑.ᐟ

A growing sense of pleasure blooming in your cunt snapped you out of your slumber, each sense reawakening. Your eyes shot downwards, the sight of an all too familiar boy filling your vision as he looked up from his seeming frenzy against your now throbbing clit.

Every part of you screamed to run, to get the hell back in that supply closet. It wasn't normal to be awoken by a tongue fucking into your hole, yet something about the far-from-vanilla scene had you gripping the sides of the chair.

"G-Gwinam.. What the fuck are you do..doing?" You stammered out, chest heaving. Your question was left hung in the air, filling the silence surrounding you. The only sounds able to be heard were the sound of his tongue lapping against your clit. The sight was erotic, your hands scrambling to catch a grip on anything, finally settling for his hair. You tugged instinctively, Gwinam's mouth opening in a groan that reverberated against your pussy.

Your legs twitched, nose and brows scrunching as you felt your climax arriving. The coil in your stomach was tightening, like the feeling at the brink of a rollercoaster. "I-I'm gonna.." You muttered out, lips curling into a pleasure-filled frown.

"You better fucking hold it, you slut," He warned, stopping his abuse against your clit. You grimaced, staring down at him as your hips jutted upwards.

His tongue swirled and delved deeper into your hole, two fingers joining his mouth. Your legs shook, hands pulling tighter on his hair.

Gwinam could feel his hard-on rub against his pants, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried not to focus on the overwhelming pressure he felt as you tugged on the strands of his black hair.

Finally, you couldn't take it anymore.

"I-I can't.." You whined out as the coil inside you unleashed and broke. The rollercoaster had fallen, and your cum was now spilling out onto your thighs and his face.

He licked and slurped at your clit as you rode out your high, a post-nut clarity washing over you as your eyes widened. You were far too loud, and the zombies would surely come. Without thinking, you pushed him down, stumbling as your legs shook while you tried to make your way to the supply closet.

Suddenly, Gwinam's strong forced pushed you against the wall, forearm against your neck. You attempted to claw at him, but he simply used his free hand to pin them upward. "Where y'gonna run now, huh?" He teased, biting down on your neck, "You don't wanna listen? I'll show you how to fucking listen, whore."

A loud slap emitted, a pink stain echoing against your cheek.

Tears brimmed your eyes, slowly falling down your face as a choked sob escaped your throat. You struggled against him, watching the sadistic smirk plaster on his face, eyes widened as the pupils traced the line of your salty cries.

"Please, Gwinam. W-We'll die." You stammered out, eyes widened as you tried to search for any trace of humanity in his eyes.

You didn't find it.

"You're so fucking hot when you cry." He groaned, pushing his mouth against yours roughly. It seemed he didn't have a care whether you kissed back, shoving his tongue down your mouth.

You wanted to resist, really, you did.

But the way he rutted his hips against you knew that you didn't want anything more than for him to fuck your brains out.

A moan fell from your mouth and into his, Gwinam's grip on your neck finally releasing as he used that hand to pull up one of your thighs. In a synchronized daze of horniness, you both grinded against each other in a desperate attempt to chase your high once more.

He grabbed your arms, dragging you to the window. Your face was pressed against it, breasts smushing against the glass as his hands carelessly fondled your ass.

Gwinam stuck in two fingers, stretching your tight pussy for what was to come. "If you cum before I let you, I'll kill you."

You knew he was serious. You just didn't have it in you to care.

One hand snakes up your back, wrapping around your neck as if he was the serpent and you were the forbidden fruit.

Squeezing, you let out a broken sob, purple bruises forming in the shape of his fingertips. He pressed his hips against yours at your cries, eyes rolling to the back of his head. There was nothing more erotic to him than fucking you while there were zombies mere metres away from you.

Agonizingly slow, he pulled your skirt down. With a huff, you impatiently forced the fabric down, pooling at your ankles. With a raspy chuckle, he leaned in close and pulled your ear lobe, "You just really can't wait to have me cum in you, isn't that right?"

He had you at a loss of words, biting your lip until it bled. Gwinam pulled you back by your neck, back pressed against his hard chest, "Answer me when I talk to you, slut," He warned, squeezing tighter.

With all the might you had left in you, you breathed out, "Y-Yes.. I can't wait.." Hearing your tears behind your words had precum dripping and his cock practically begging to burst.

Knowing he wouldn't last much longer if you both kept up with the constant teasing, his hands finally let their grip off you and to his pants. Your hands now pressed against the glass, your head dropped to avoid the painstaking scene of dead and dying classmates on the field outside.

As Gwinam finally dropped his pants and boxers, he let out a freakish grin seeing your distaste toward the chaos outside. Grabbing your jaw, he forced you to stare ahead as his pink tip circled your soaked hole.

It was all too much. You felt your pussy throbbing as you tried to find any way to make the dominance Gwinam was exhibiting less arousing.

"Watch them as I fuck you, Mouse," He purred into your ear, pushing his hard cock in slowly. You felt him stretch your fleshy walls, a soft groan sounding from both your throats simultaneously, "You wanna be good for me, don't you?"

You nodded with a whine, turning back to look at him with round eyes. He ran a finger across your lips before turning your head back to the window, angling his dick at your entrance.

As per his usual style, he gave no time in letting you adjust, immediately setting his rough pace. Each thrust let out a loud slap that echoed, angering the zombie under the piano further.

Your senses were slowly diminishing until you were just as brain-dead as the zombies—minus the dead part. Your hair pulled back by his hand, the one on your jaw now letting go and squeezing your ass. Though he had now let go of your face, you still remained looking out the window.

You wanted to be good for Gwinam. You were good for Gwinam.

Your emotions built up in your chest. Every erotic and devastated emotion. You wept as you watched the few survivors that made a break for the schools gates get eaten alive, slowly cracking and turning.

"Fuck—I love it when you cry, baby," He moaned, throwing his head back as his pace quickened.

Your eyes squeezed shut, feeling the slight overstimulation only enhance the pleasure you were feeling. Gwinam reached down, thumb instantly finding your clit and rubbing fast circles, matching his perfect pace against your throbbing cunt.

Your hole squeezed against his dick, and he 'tsked', "Don't you think about cumming." You nodded, placing a hand on your stomach. You could feel his dick sliding in and out of you, each time stretching your hole so that it would only ever be the right size for him.

He was marking you as his, and you didn't want it any other way.

Gwinam's hips stuttered, pace growing sloppy and uneven, "I'm gonna cum in you, okay baby?" He growled in your ear, licking a stripe down your jaw and to your collarbone, "I'm gonna make you mine, and you're gonna take my cum."

You felt yourself reaching the edge at his words, soft cries releasing from your throat as all you wanted to do was squirt all over his veiny length.

"Please.. Please let me cum, Gwinam, I'll be good," You whined, rutting your hips backwards against his, meeting them in the middle and bringing you both so much closer to your edge.

He shook his head, pulling your hair and causing a shriek to emit from your throat. He wanted nothing more than to have you creaming all over him, but he knew the pleasure he felt from commanding you was even better.

Gwinam bent forward against you, and he groaned as you reached back and pulled his hair. He grabbed your neck as he felt his high approach, knowing he wouldn't be able to take it much longer.

Finally giving you permission, Gwinam bit his lip, nodding his head, "Yeah, baby. Cum with me. I want you to cum." He muttered almost incoherently, and his approval was enough to snap the coil once more.

Following after you seconds after, you both continued your desperate movements against each other until the ropes of his semen remained inside your vagina.

The floor underneath you was dampened by your shots of cum, legs faltering. You fell against the window, Gwinam grabbing you by your waist and carrying your half-naked body into the supply room.

You were practically asleep as your body fucked-dumb was weak. He lay you on a sofa in the closet, not bothering to cover you up.

He knelt down, licking a stripe in your pussy filled with his cum. He could taste himself, salty and warm, the overstimulation causing your hips to jut upwards as your half-asleep self muttered under your breath.

Gwinam stood up, staring at you for a moment, before turning and heading toward the broadcasting room.

Maybe when you woke up, you'd think it was all just a dream, and would go back to fearing for your life—But the cum spilling out of you made you know that whatever had happened was real—and you knew you would want more.

[octuscle]

Exchange student: Athens (GA)

Benjamin was not particularly happy that he had come to Georgia as an exchange student. Athens... He had wanted something in New England. Or at least in California. But he hadn't been able to choose. Athens had taken him.

The introductory week had been a disappointment. His fellow students were almost exclusively from the neighborhood, the boys were interested in football and hunting rifles, the girls in boys. It was all so clichéd that it was hard to express. But there was actually a very good grand piano in the assembly hall and Benjamin had been given permission to use it for his daily exercises after a short audition. He had not yet met his roommate. He wasn't due to return to university until a week later because of some family business. Benjamin was hoping for someone who was also interested in classical music and expressionism. Or at least someone who was also studying literature, art history or something similar.

It was the night from Saturday to Sunday when the door opened with a huge crash at around 02:00. Someone threw a duffel bag onto the bed and turned on the light. Benjamin blinked startled at the sudden light. He couldn't see anything against the light. But it smelled of sweat and a few other things he couldn't identify. The shadow took off his shirt, threw it on the floor and sat down on the other bed. Benjamin's eyes adjusted to the light and he began to recognize something.

"Well howdy, you must be Ben. I'm Hunter, no lie, that's my name, partner. Shoo, it ain't even 2 o'clock yet. What in tarnation are ya doin' in bed?" Benjamin was disgusted. He would have to share the room with a redneck. He turned around and mumbled, “Nice to meet you. If you'll excuse me, I'd like to get back to sleep.” Hunter just said, “Well, that’s on you if ya overlook somethin’, darlin’,” rummaged in his duffel bag and disappeared again. It must have been around 04:00 when he returned. Now it also smelled of booze. Benjamin pretended to be asleep, even though Hunter was making a lot of noise. After he had finished clearing out his things, Benjamin heard him burp loudly a few more times. And soon he was snoring.

When Benjamin's alarm clock rang at 07:00, Hunter was still snoring. He was lying naked on the comforter. Benjamin had to admit with envy that he was well trained. His butt was firm. His upper body was deeply tanned and Hunter was pale below the waist. A guy who worked out in the fresh air. Benjamin's cock got hard. He quickly grabbed his scrubs and headed for the washrooms. He wanted to be at the Georgia Museum of Art early. When he returned to his room, freshly showered, Hunter was lying awake on his bed. Jerking off his morning wood. “Well, howdy there, early riser! Ain't that somethin'! You fixin' to hit the pavement for a run?” Benjamin turned around, embarrassed. Because he didn't want to disturb Hunter while he was wanking. And because his own cock was leaking precum into his boxer shorts. “No thanks, I wanted to go to the museum.” “Real neat, we got one 'round these parts? Been here a whole year and didn’t even know. Might just tag along next time, if y'know what I mean.” “That would be nice,” Benjamin replied as he hurriedly got dressed and left the room. He had to go to the washrooms again before he went to the museum. He really needed to wank. He thought about Hunter.

He wasn't really focused in the museum. At the beginning, he made sketches of the halls and the works of art on display. He was actually surprised by the quality. There were top-class works here. But when he caught himself doodling a stag in his notebook the third time, he decided that he would probably be better off getting some fresh air. He took his rucksack out of his locker and left the museum. The fresh air did him good. Benjamin walked along Campus Road. He passed the Georgia Museum of Natural History. It was still early. He went inside.

Natural history wasn't really his hobby. But Benjamin was fascinated by the dioramas of the local animal world. He enthusiastically made sketches of the deer. Why the hell had he already made them at the art museum? And why were the deer he was drawing now often hunted prey? He probably just couldn't get Hunter out of his head. He was getting a hard-on again. Benjamin made his way back to the dormitory. Hunter and he hadn't got off to a good start. But now he would like to put that right.

"Down at th’ park wit’ the boys, tossin’ sum balls ‘round. Y’all come on by if ya wanna join!" The note was on Ben's pillow. There was a lot else lying around the room. It was as if a bomb had gone off. Hunter was obviously not the tidiest of people. There was a camouflage T-shirt on the floor. Benjamin pressed it to his face. It smelled of sweat and masculinity. He couldn't help it. He had to jerk off again. This time it came with unexpected force. Shit, on the floor, on the bed, his cum was everywhere. He took one of his dirty towels from the laundry basket and tried to clean it up as best he could. And then he made his way to the park. He had to watch Hunter play football with his buddies.

Benjamin had to search a bit to find Hunter and his friends. But it was worth it. A gang of young rednecks in the prime of their youth, on their way to becoming real men. Their muscles were glistening with sweat, their mullets sticking wet to their heads. “Yo, Ben!” Hunter shouted when he saw Benjamin. Benjamin was amazed that Hunter had recognized him. Hunter ran up to him and did a fist bump, which Benjamin returned somewhat awkwardly. “Hey there, what in tarnation are ya doin’ just standin’ ‘round like a bump on a log? Get yourself changed and hit that field!” Benjamin said that he had nothing to change into. “Floyd, you knucklehead! You got your gym gear?” Hunter yelled across the pitch. He, who was presumably Floyd, yelled back “Sure thing!”. Hunter went to a bag and threw it to Benjamin. “Here ya go, this oughta fit ya, Big fella!” Benjamin was a little embarrassed to just change in the open field. But there was no turning back now. The last time he had played football was five years ago. And he had been bad. Really bad. Now he was standing on a field in sweaty, oversized clothes belonging to a guy he didn't know called Floyd and had to play football with a guy he hardly knew, but had already wanked off on twice today. The ball flew towards him. Benjamin caught it with a leap. “To me!” roared Hunter. And with a powerful and precise pass, the ball flew to Hunter. “Bloody hell!” thought Benjamin.

The sun was about to set. The boys were lying on the grass, drinking some kind of isotonic thirst quencher. They had all taken off their shirts. Hunter's head was on Benjamin's stomach. “Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit, buddy! You best be chowin' down more and hittin' them weights less. That belly of yours ain’t got no softness to cuddle up to!” “In your dreams!” replied Benjamin, tousling Hunter's wet hair. Damn, he was well on his way to becoming a jock... Benjamin and Hunter spent the evening together, when the sun went down, they went to the movies and then out for a burger. Benjamin had never spent a Sunday like this before. It felt wrong. But it felt so good!

The next morning, Hunter's alarm clock rang at 05:30. “Dude, running and gym!” he said as he shook Benjamin awake. Benjamin had done more sport yesterday than he had ever done in his life. But without argument, he put on Floyd's dirty and sweaty clothes and the two of them set off. Benjamin actually had his first lecture at 08:30. English poetry of the 19th century. But he couldn't leave Hunter to bench press on his own. And so it was 09:00 when he arrived in the lecture hall. In his sweaty gym clothes. Without his homework. His professor asked him to join her after the lecture to explain to him clearly that this was not the performance she expected. And that he would stink. Benjamin raised his arm and took a deep breath from his armpit. “You're damn right,” he said, nodding appreciatively. His cell phone vibrated. “Fucc dude, 4got my laptop.  Bring it by, bruh. Warnell school of 4estry and natural resources” Benjamin knew where that was. Behind the natural history museum. Next lecture wasn't for another hour. Benjamin sprinted home, grabbed the computer from Hunter's desk and ran into the department. “I'm at the entrance, bro,” he wrote. ‘Cum 2 the library,’ Hunter replied. Benjamin followed the signs. Floyd was waiting outside the library. “Hey y'all, thanks a million! You’re a real lifesaver for Hunter and me. And I gotta say, them clothes are lookin' sharp. And that mullet? Pure gold!” Benjamin blushed and said that he would do the washing today and Floyd would bring the clothes back clean tomorrow. Floyd laughed and said that they had only been on for a week, a bit early to wash them. Benjamin joined in the laughter and headed off to his next lecture. Bloody hell, what had Floyd said. Mullet? What mullet? He ran his fingers through his hair sweaty from running. It was sticking to the back of his neck. Benjamin searched for a window pane to look at his reflection. Shit, he had a similar hairstyle to the boys.

Tuesday morning was Hunter and Ben's first lecture, “Ecosystems and Habitat management” in Professor Castleberry's Wildlife Ecology and Management class. They both got quite a telling off for missing the first lecture the previous week. Hunter's excuse was that he couldn't leave his parents' hunting lodge because of the storm. The story of how the bridge had been washed away sounded super realistic. Ben had to bite his tongue not to laugh out loud. He knew that Hunter simply hadn't wanted to leave without killing the big stag. Ben's excuse was less original. The fact that he was wrongly enrolled in art history and literature led to great laughter in the lecture hall. A guy with “corn-fed Midwestern boy” literally tattooed on his forehead couldn't be in a worse place than in a lecture on 19th century English poetry. Luckily, the two best buddies were given two adjacent seats. They hadn't showered after the gym today either. Very few of their fellow students wanted to sit next to them. But it was their lucky day anyway. Although the registration deadline had actually already passed, they both still got a place on the excursion to the “Population biology and ecology” field trip at the weekend. They could hardly wait for Friday. Finally a chance to get some fresh air and hopefully a good piece of game. Their hunting rifles were already threatening to rust.

A few of his fellow students knew that his real name was Ben. But everyone here called him Buck. Hunter and Buck. It just went together. The two of them studied together, pumped iron together, played football together. They hunted together. And yes, they also fucked together. But only without eye contact. Otherwise it would be totally homo!

Pics by @ki-kink

[astonmartinii]

day nine: christmas on screen | carlos sainz social media au

pairing: carlos sainz x fem musician reader

what's better than being a super famous singer that's dating a formula one driver? being a super famous singer that's dating a formula one driver that is willing to dress up in silly outfits for your chirstmas special

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 4,231,893 others

tagged: chappellroan & netflix

yourusername: yoohoo! i'm excited to announce my christmas special is coming to you via netflix on december sixth!

view all comments

user1: i have never been more sat, my parents are telling me it's not out yet but i am SO sat on our couch

user2: this is about to be my entire personality for the next two months

user3: TWO MONTHS? weak.

oscarpiastri: CHAPPELL???

yourusername: i know right !!!

carlossainz55: why are you here?

oscarpiastri: i may not like YOU but i like y/n and i LOVE chappell

yourusername: so true of you

carlossainz55: no. not true of you

oscarpiastri: you have a problem with me streaming your girlfriend's music? supporting her career?

yourusername: i appreciate it oscar

carlossainz55: YES.

carlossainz55: you're only doing it to bother ME

oscarpiastri: listen here buddy i've been here since the disney days just because you're an OLD MAN doesn't mean i am

yourusername: i think you guys should maybe settle this on track and not in my comments lol

carlossainz55: i'm on it

oscarpiastri: if you can get close enough next season :P

user4: carcar beef even in the offseason we're being FED

user5: can't deal with oscar reminding me that carlos will be in the williams next year

user6: but oscar is also real as fuck for being a disney girl

charles_leclerc: do you need a piano man at all?

carlossainz55: if there's going to be a ferrari driver in this special it would be ME not YOU

charles_leclerc: well you're not really a ferrari driver anymore so.... it's still open?

yourusername: charlie... it's already been filmed... how did you think we made the trailer?

charles_leclerc: oh - BORING!

user7: so that's basically confirmation that carlos will be in the special right?

user8: i mean although his only talents outside of an f1 car seem to be golf, football and liking shady tweets - he does have a face card that demands to be on tv

user9: i wouldn't put it past y/n and carlos to somehow shoehorn smooth operator in there somewhere

carlossainz55

liked by landonorris, fernandoalo_oficial and 652,494 others

tagged: yourusername

carlossainz55: making my netflix debut with my love this winter - check it out december sixth!

view all comments

user13: CONFIRMATION !!!!

user14: tbf as soon as this project was announced there was no way he wouldn't be in it in some shape or form

yourusername: it took a LOT of pleading... had to use the netflix card in the end

user15: thank you for your service

yourusername: seeing your face on a big screen? do tell me more

carlossainz55: i'm just happy you let me on the same screen as you

yourusername: but we're always on the same screen together?

landonorris: not this gatekeeping...

yourusername: i don't think you'd want to see it lando

landonorris: why wouldn't i want to see my two best friends ???

carlossainz55: IT'S NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUR EYES STOP ASKING

landonorris: IS IT YALL FUCKING???

yourusername: my lawyer said i shouldn't answer that question

user16: netflix debut? bro said drive to survive? i don't know her

user17: i mean that show is a complete farce

user18: can't wait for the three episode run all about stake and no mention of max vs george

fernandoalo_oficial: wowee chilli you have outdone yourself this time!

carlossainz55: thank you nando :) i hope you will be watching

fernandoalo_oficial: i will be sitting pretty on the sixth no worries, but only if you and y/n come to my new years bash ...

yourusername: WE WILL BE THERE

fernandoalo_oficial: loving the enthusiasm!

carlossainz55: it's because she has a huge crush on you :(

yourusername: welp can you blame me?

carlossainz55: that's a surrogate father to me i will not be agreeing with you

yourusername: snooze

user19: y/n crush on fernando? she's even more relatable

user20: this makes the whole fernando x taylor swift thing even funnier

yourusername: i won't say it was me whole told taylor about that.... buttttt

user21: queen

netflix

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 2,893,099 others

tagged: yourusername, obx & f1

netflix: what will you be watching this christmas break?

view all comments

user22: me and my girls will be streaming drive to survive and then will be using a nonsense christmas as a palate cleanser

user23: REAL

user24: @netflix please do better with the next season xxx

carlossainz55: a nonsense christmas. over and over again. until it's all that is in my brain and tattooed on the inside of my eyelids

yourusername: omg you do that too???

yourusername: no living soul should ever see my 'baby' folder on tiktok LOL

carlossainz55: well SNAP

user25: really yall save the tiktok edits of each other?

yourusername: ummm yeah? some of you are VERY talented

carlossainz55: also we're apart more than we're together so something must tide us over

charles_leclerc: is that why you keep looking for cameras, smizing and pouring water on yourself

yourusername: don't forget the backwards cap!

carlossainz55: i gotta give them the material to keep my girl happy

carlossainz55: also who do you think suggested the juno position...

user25: thank you for your service

landonorris: wait so that cute fanservice moment was actually just the y/nlos KARMA SUTRA ???

user26: i need a significant other who does this much just for tiktok edits

user27: is this the 21st century romance we were promised?

user28: it's the best we're getting, poetry is dead i fear

yourusername: so i wrote juno for nothing?

maxverstappen1: i will be conducting a full dexter rewatch

carlossainz55: excuse you?

maxverstappen1: well why would i watch drive to survive? i lived it and i already watched a nonsense christmas - amazing work @yourusername

yourusername: thanks max!

carlossainz55: how have yOU watched it? i haven't even watched it yet?

maxverstappen1: i wouldn't have that if i were you y/n, that guy is meant to be your biggest fan?

carlossainz55: i AM

maxverstappen1: oh and i just bribed netflix lol - they had to make up with me at some point ;)

yourusername

liked by taylorswift, landonorris and 3,834,033 others

tagged: carlossainz55

yourusername: christmas was on screen for me this year, but i get to live my hallmark romance everyday

view all comments

user30: chat do we wanna put bets on how long it takes for them to get their own btec hallmark christmas movie like taylor and travis?

user31: next christmas for sure if they're still together

user32: 'if they're still together' kill yourself

liked by carlossainz55

user33: i will be sat for their awful attempt to film the racing scenes

carlossainz55: you're my fairytale ending princess

yourusername: as if you're not the biggest prize of all

carlossainz55: nope that would be you :P

yourusername: whatever you say beautiful

carlossainz55: no i'm being so serious, you being mine is the best gift of all and one i intend to keep for life

yourusername: well it's your lucky day, i want to be yours forever too

yourusername: but the y/ln name will live on

carlossainz55: i'm ready to take yours

charles_leclerc: it's true i caught him practising a new signature with carlos y/ln

yourusername: that's so fucking hot

user34: so that ended abruptly ...

user35: do we think?

user36: yep. it's defo what we think

user37: i mean i'd also climb my boyf like a tree if he said he wanted to be my life partner and take MY last name

taylorswift: we loved your special !!! see you soon xx

yourusername: thank you mama

carlossainz55: so are we all going to the super bowl orrrrrr

yourusername: let's get through christmas first babe

carlossainz55: ACTUALLY who do i talk to about getting you the super bowl halftime show

user38: boyfriend or agent? why not both!

carlossainz55

liked by fernandoalo_oficial, landonorris and 782,309 others

tagged: yourusername

carlossainz55: thank you netflix for allowing to broadcast how hot and amazing my girlfriend is and how absolutely off limits she is

view all comments

user39: bro used a NETFLIX special to tell people to back off his girl

user40: i need a boyf like this

user41: i think i speak for most men that we don't have the budget for this

user42: i mean y/n and netflix mostly paid for the special

user41: did or did carlos not ride in on his 'sleigh' that was a WHOLE FERRARI F1 CAR ???

yourusername: i want everyone to know your mine too

yourusername: why do you think i wear so much red?

lewishamilton: right, this is my seat now you people do know this right?

yourusername: RED CAN BE FOR SPAIN TOO

yourusername: DUMBASSES PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE TO THIRST OVER MY BOYF AND WEAR HIS COLOURS

carlossainz55: you do look otherworldly in red 🫶

yourusername: why thank you xx

yourusername: @williamsf1 any chance we can do a one off red livery - perhaps in spain pretty please

williamsf1: i don't think the social media admin has control over it

yourusername: okay i'll just dm james personally

carlossainz55: babe ???

yourusername: you look almost as good as me in red babe i'm doing it for the greater good

yourusername: @alexalbon you'd look okay too i guess?

alexalbon: i'll take it (and i'll take some tickets as well please)

user43: i love how y/n has just become the ticket plug

user44: and for both sides like why was she the one to get travis in touch with alpine but also giving charles the tickets to taylor in italy

landonorris: ugh we get it you're happy

carlossainz55: you doing okay buddy

landonorris: it's a lonely time of year and you guys aren't helping

yourusername: i have a song about this!

landonorris: what do you think has been on blast the last couple of days?

yourusername: i'll take the streams thanks buddy

f1

liked by danielricciardo, oscarpiastri and 1,209,483 others

tagged: carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, yourusername & landonorris

f1: so how do we get y/n on OUR netflix show?

view all comments

user45: i ask myself this everyday

user46: i'll deal with all the fake drive to survive drama if we get a whole episode of y/n and carlos just existing

user47: i need a y/n hot lap while we're at it as well

carlossainz55: why are you posting such sexy photos of my girlfriend 🤨

f1: ummmmmmm... all photos of her are?

carlossainz55: WRONG ANSWER

carlossainz55: ONLY I'M ALLOWED TO SAY THAT ABOUT HER

f1: i didn't even say the word ???

francocolapinto: take me to jail then

carlossainz55: ugh i don't have the time to fight all of you

francocolapinto: weak

carlossainz55: i have a tight schedule which includes driving in the car you thought you would get and loving the girl YOU WISH YOU COULD BE WITH

francocolapinto: oop

user48: bro is crazy

user49: crazy in LOVE

liked by carlossainz55

yourusername: i guess you'll just have to ask nicely

f1: carlos won't fight us if we do right?

carlossainz55: no... for now

f1: COOL PLEASE COME TO A RACE

yourusername: i can't say much, but i do look just as cute in red as i do i blue :P

user50: YES QUEEN!!!!

user51: and when we get a y/n performance at a race and then we get a juno position at a grand prix weekend...

carlossainz55: that will be my onstage debut

carlossainz55: i know how outrageously horny all you lonely f1 guys are

user52: spill

yourusername: so not just as much as you babe?

carlossainz55: well i actually get to have you sooooooo

yourusername: true :P

user53: LEAVE US ALONE

fin.

note: woah this is like the first time i've written for carlos in like a year. oh and even though this is nice to him... the guilty as sin finale will come in the new year xx

[child-of-the-danube]

I'm still in my Lilia brain rot era and I keep thinking about her and Agatha, and their dynamic and parallels.

Like, Agatha is a dick to everyone from the start, even Teen, but she's extremely chill and even, for her being who she is, weirdly respectful towards Lilia. Maybe it's because of the age, maybe it's because Lilia was the only one to show she still had true power when they first met, maybe it's because they share experience and persecution the younger ones don't truly understand, maybe Agatha just has a soft spot for those who are very clearly outcasts and weirdos.

The only sting at Lilia I can recall is calling her "Dory" in the last trial lmao

She never once questions or mocks her gaps. Hell, she said "we came to the right place" AFTER she saw Lilia scream her head off in ep2 over, to them, nothing. "Hmm, this bitch a lil bonkers, but that's exactly what I like and need :)"

She told Lilia that she couldn't take her power unless she's blasted with it - something she was certainly aiming for if the door didn't open and that ended up saving them in ep2 when she was using her ye old technique of being a menace. She may have told it to her only to get her in, but that's a big minus to her plan B.

When everyone had their hallucinations, Agatha didn't mock Lilia when she was, once again, "being weird". She believed her and reassured her in a soft tone that it was ok.

One interaction I found really funny is in ep3 when Teen asks about a sous vide machine and Agatha turns to Lilia with that "What the fuck is that? That wasn't around in our time" look

Usually when one of them starts spewing wisdom, someone will give a snarky remark, usually Agatha, but when they were talking about summoning a new green witch, Agatha let Lilia speak and was the only one who, at least somewhat, listened to her advice (50/50 but still haha). It was Lilia after all who was the first one to, tho reluctantly, agree to Agatha's idea of summoning a back up green witch.

Also the way Agatha looks at Lilia when she calls Jen out for giving Sharon only one dose of antidote when she had two glasses of wine. It's just so "mmm 😈 I like this one"

Agatha's first choice for "who could possibly play piano" wasn't Alice. Ya know the daughter of a rock goddess who would be the most logical choice. It was Lilia and I find that sweet and a lil funny too.

Lilia didn't tell Agatha's Salem story with judgement, even if she said "when Agatha killed her original coven". It was delivered as mere fact to explain the story.

Then when Evanora showed up and Lilia looks angry and almost disgusted at what she's hearing her say to Agatha. Even after Alice's death, she didn't jump on Agatha's back and accuse her. She let her be cause she was clearly distraught.

Agatha "I'm not drinking the poison. You can suffer but I won't!" Harkness jumped on Lilia and covered her with her own body in the latest episode when the sword was about to impale her. And then she let her do her magic even if it didn't seem to work as the ceiling was still falling and even if she thought tarot was bullshit. She trusted she knew what she was doing.

And the look they give eachother when Lilia reveals Rio is Death. Lilia's face reads as terrified, but more than terrified, she seems to have a moment of compassion. It's the look of "How deeply fucked must your life have been that the only one that ever showed you love and kindness is the one who everyone else sees as the bringer of pain?". Death broke Lilia's heart many a time, but in that moment she understood, she broke Agatha's heart too in even worse ways.

AGATHA LIKED HER! SHE LIKED HER FROM THE START AND RESPECTED HER! AND LILIA LIKED HER TOO, DESPITE THE INITIAL SUSPICIONS!!!

I need to know what her reaction to finding out Lilia sacrificed herself to kill the threat that was specifically after her will be. Will she brush it off and pretend she doesn't care to keep appearing stern and emotionless or will this be the thing that finally makes her realise people care for her? Cause Agatha has never had anyone, except literal Death, show her kindness, much less sacrifice themselves so she could keep living. And I find it beautifully poetic that the one other person Death has known well for centuries, who Death has acknowledged by name in that coven, was the one to do that.

Again, I'm aware that this is just my brain rot speaking, but Lilia was truly the MVP. She's the one with wisdom, the biggest experience, the one with seemingly most patience, the hype man ("Jennifer, look what you did", "It was all for you", "Don't worry, baby. We're cool"). Her trial is the only one where the rest was in fact not needed and was of no help. Actually, all they did was make it worse. The first three trials depended on teamwork. Lilia's was truly solvable ONLY by Lilia.

Anyways, Lilia mentally adopted Agatha and realised she truly was part of her coven and therefore worth dying for and I will never fucking recover 💔💔😭😭