#but also it was giving me such a visceral desire to be able to just dig claws in as if the tiles were soft and grab them like soft clay

[squisheebugdoodles]

The fact that i can't dig my claws into everything to rip and tear u_u

[poisonous-honey]

Fontaine Is Committing Childe Slander fr

Spoilers For The 4.2 Archon Quest

Content: Sagau reader insert (not the cult au), a lot of swearing

Note: Wrote this a while ago, just didn't post till now. This was written because of how frustrated I was with Childe's treatment in the quest. They did him so, so dirty.

🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 

"WHAT THE FUCK!?"

Hearing your scream, Neuvillette, Aether, and Paimon nearly flinched and gave themselves away if it wasn't for Skirk quickly turning around and staring them dead in their eyes.

"AFTER ALL OF THAT, WE DON'T EVEN GET TO TALK TO HIM? WHAT THE HELL"

They never liked hearing you get upset, but since this was a scripted event, they could do nothing but play their parts. Aether wanted nothing more than to jump in and find Childe for you, if even just to get you to stop yelling, but his hands were tied. And seeing the intense look the lady across from him was giving, he doesn't think he'd be able to get away with it even if he tried.

"No 'hey, how're you doing? What's up? Where the fuck did you go? How did you end up fighting a god-damn space whale? I was worried.' We really get to say none of that? Skirk just throws him away like he's yesterday's trash? At least, I think that's Skirk... Okay, fine, whatever."

The group notices a slight twitch in Skrik's expression, as if she was annoyed, but it's gone not a moment later.

"Skirk I hope you're kinda funny cause this is a terrible first impression."

🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 

Skirk watches as Neuvillette sends the traveller topside, hoping that he starts the scripted conversation without any hassle.

"Was it necessary to throw him so aggressively into the portal?"

Of course, that's not what happened. If Childe's mad ramblings were anything to go by, all of those that become the players "characters" seem to grow inexplicably attached to them. She didn't hold his words in high regard since he was insane, but seeing the hydro sovereign already taking a liking to you gives some weight to his words.

"He’s fine. It’s nothing he can’t handle."

Neuvillette, still looking troubled, tells her that you really wanted to see him again after nearly 2 years of nothing.

"Didn't you also upset the player when you pounced on him and sent him to prison for no good reason?"

Neuvillette gave a slight wince, "I had no other choice. The Oratrice Mecanique d'Analyse Cardinale gave the sentence and the law must be upheld."

Skirk doesn’t look amused, Neuvillette just sighs "... And the action itself was scripted. I had my hands tied."

"Then you have no right to look so troubled over my actions. It was simply scripted, nothing deeper. I would not intentionally go looking to upset the player, especially since they can control whoever they want. I have no desire to go back to the surface, which I would be forced to if they ever felt like messing with me."

He hums, "The player has much less control than you think. Even if they wanted to take control of you, they wouldn't or shouldn't be able to do so for quite a while. Falling into their good graces is the only way to get chosen, and you seem to have only just piqued their interest."

Neuvillette was just stating facts. He heard you crying about how your latest wishing session for Furina took everything you had. He doubts even if Skirk’s banner was a couple patches from now you'd have enough to get her. Skirk herself looks a little frustrated at the mention of gaining your favour, but quickly lets it go. 

"As long as I have time to prepare, I suppose. Anyway, We should have our scripted conversation before time runs out. Unless you want them to start freaking out again."

"Of course not, let us continue."

🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 

"The fuck do you mean he's already in Snezhnaya."

Lyney's eyes slightly widen in shock, not expecting that visceral of a reaction. Aether slightly shakes his head to try and get him not to worry about it while Paimon starts her bashful idle as a way to look elsewhere without arising suspicion.

"We don't even get to say goodbye, what the heck. Wait, we never even figured out what was going on with his vision either. They actually just threw him to the wayside! If he doesn't show up in the next interlude, I'm going to be ☆mad☆"

Aether tilts his head down as he starts to ponder. He was also a bit frustrated with how little they learned about what was going on with him. Obviously the whal- Narwhal was involved in someway, but nothing is explained outside their connection. He's suddenly ripped from his thoughts as you pick his next dialogue option and continue the story.

The story continues for a little bit as Arlecchino arrives to join the conversation. You add in some quips of your own as you're watching, but are mostly silent. They just take it as you being tired from the whirlwind of emotions the quest put you through.

Aether then realizes the next actions he has to take and struggles to keep a straight face.

*Actually, I just remembered something... Please help us deliver this.*

"I swear to god, don't give her Childe's vision. He hates her. He trusted us."

Aether can no longer hold back his wince as he holds out Childe's vision for Arlecchino to take. She almost looks amused as they hear you sigh.

"Goddammit."

🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 

Childe was in agony.

This pain went far beyond his physical injuries. The last words he heard from you were you crying out to him. It frustrated him to no end that by the time he gets to see you again, he passes out. He can barely remember your words of praise and cooing about how cool he was for fighting such a creature. Your worry and the fact he doesn't even get to talk to you after all this time hasn't left the forefront of his mind since he woke up. Injuries be damned, he wanted to find the Traveller. He wanted to get something out of that vacation, more than just one conversation, getting arrested, and an incomplete fight. He thought that as long as you still had his vision, he would surely see you again and his vacation would end smoothly, but of course the story seemed to have it out for him. All he could do now was lay here in pain, stuck in his mind while his family is off doing something else.

He's upset he didn't get to finish his fight and that you had to finish it for him.

He's upset his foul legacy has taken such a toll on his body, he can't do anything.

He's upset that his family has to see him in such a state.

He's upset he missed your first encounter with Skirk.

He's upset he didn't even get to talk to you again.

And more than anything, he's upset he can't be there for you.

As he was about to continue wallowing in self-pity and regret, he suddenly finds himself fully geared, standing in front of the Abyss, with no injuries.

"Such bullshit. I loved the story quest, but why was Childe pushed to the side. It's almost like they had no idea what to do with him after they got him to the whale. Oh! It's just one of the creatures he's been wanting to fight for nearly all his life. Do we get to know how he feels about it? Nooo of course not. My man just wanted to go on vacation, and he had to deal with all of this."

Hearing your voice almost washes away all his stress, and hearing you complain about how he was treated washes away all his sorrow. It pleases him to know you hated what happened to him just as much, if not more, than he did. He could tell from your ranting and the fact you've already gotten 36 stars that you were going to fight just to let off steam. That's perfect for him. Killing something is just what he needs to take his mind off of recent events, killing things with and for you makes it even better. He'll be sure to make the best of this before you log off for the day, and he's back to being bedridden.

[yandere-yearnings]

what r ur thoughts on sun getting jealous and crazy but darling matches his freak and might just be worse… erm…. i have no excuse i just need to ruin this man he makes me VISCERALLY ANGRY. but in. like. a Pleasant way. the people (me) are dying to know 🎤🎤🎤

genie you're out here asking all the right questions😌💕 there are a few possibilities for how things may turn out and it all depends on the situation at hand so i wrote out two little bits hehe also, sun is staring bc he heard the word ruin and it put an image in his head,, i think you need to take him away🤧 to the people (you) i present sun w/ a jealous darling:

...in general

Honestly, Sun believes jealousy is a healthy feeling to have in a relationship. He's a bit delusional, and really, he flies off the rocker way too easily for someone who supposedly has a lax stance on the matter, but he thinks it can only be proof that you love each other. You don't like the way other people are putting their hands on him? That means you accept that he's yours! So, if you just happen to be a jealous person like that, he doesn't mind; in fact, he endorses it and will set-up situations just to watch the way you seethe.

Now, matching his freak — potentially being even worse than him — is an entirely different thing. Tell him you'll pluck off his fingernails just because they grazed someone else's hand and it has him squeezing his thighs together like it'll stop you noticing how hot the comment made him. Sun loves feeling like you possess him, and he's ready to give himself over to you wholly if that's what you want.

...when he is jealous

On the odd occasion that Sun loses his cool and lets his reoccurring jealousy drive him off the edge, he isn't really able to comprehend anything other than his desire to paint the walls with someone else's blood. You could be equally as mad, you could be tearing at his clothes with your hands at his throat, you could be screaming into his ears until the drums burst — but Sun isn't there so it doesn't change anything. Whoever or whatever it is that's taking your attention away from him will be his only priority in that moment, and if he can't deal with it imminently, he'll be thinking of how to until he can.

If you can overpower him, there's opportunity to calm him down. No amount of words will reach him when he's in a mood, regardless of their severity, but if you can hold him back for a while, he'll eventually be able to come to his senses. Although, that doesn't mean he's any less angry. You best keep your promises and do everything you said you would to him, Sun is waiting for you to teach him a lesson so he knows you still care.

[midnightanxietytm]

Don't think about the dream! (NSFW)

A/n: this one is for @melle-d, so not my lamb, I had a lot of fun with this one, didn't even review it, just wrote. Also, can anyone send me a dollar for totally not related reasons? BRL don't really cover it.../j

Summary: But, since turning immortal, since getting their marvelous ring, Ewen, now known as just The Lamb, has looked forward to death, if only because they wish to see their beloved. Three nights ago though, things changed.

MINORS DNI - nsfw under cut

The Lamb is dreading their death.

Weird thing to feel, most people dread their death all their lives, it shouldn't be a new thing at all for them. But, since turning immortal, since getting their marvelous ring, Ewen, now known as just The Lamb, has looked forward to death, if only because they wish to see their beloved.

Three nights ago though, things changed and they had an… Interesting dream, one that involved their legs spread open and their god pounding them ruthlessly, and they’ve been thinking about it ever since, which was the root of their problem. If they died and ended up in his realm, Narinder would surely read their mind and see everything. Sure, it could be an opportunity to tease a bit, nothing they hadn’t done before, but that dream had been especially intimate and it had evoked a more visceral reaction than even their actual experiences.

Now, standing on the doorway to Anura, all ready for a crusade, for the first time, they hesitate. 

They step in anyways, promising themselves that this time it would be a no-death run.

It was not a no-death run.

There wasn’t much time to think about sex dreams when you’re getting swarmed by fireballs and jumped on by giant frogs, but as soon as they appeared on the summoning circle in front of their god and looked up at Narinder, the dream flashed tough their mind all over, a shiver going up their spine.

They don’t remember how it started, but they do remember the heated kisses, his clawed hands ripping their clothes, as Narinder revealed his own eldritch form; arms and abdomen pure bone, so much taller than them, pushing them into the ground and willing the crown into a barbed-

That all crossed the Lamb’s head before they had the sense to stop it. Oh sacred death they shouldn’t have thought about the dream.

There’s half a second of regret before Narinder speaks, his tone amused; “It matters not how many times you are struck down, as I’ve told you, but are you really that eager to see me, little vessel?”

Something about the way his voice rang through the infinite space brought another shiver to them and all they could think was; Don’t think about the dream, over and over, so no answer left their mouth as they looked to the side with an awkward chuckle.

Which seemed to be a mistake, because then came Narinder’s voice again; “What dream, Lamb?” Another shiver,now as they feel their god prod shamelessly into their mind, like cold tentacles prodding into their thoughts and- Oh lord, wrong train of thought! “It’s pointless to try and hide your mind from me, vessel, I own all of you, every thought of yours should be devoted to me.”

“Oh, believe me, my lord, they are.” They say, but almost regret as their tone gives away all the sinful things running through their mind. Narinder seems to find the memory of their dream just then, and Ewen catches a brief second of surprise in his features.

But then he laughs “Oh poor little vessel.” He says. “You wouldn’t be able to take me on this form.” He leans down and uses a giant hand to pull them closer. “Little Lamb, your desire is also devotion that fuels me, even if I can't personally satisfy them…”

The Lamb’s breath hitches at the implications. “I haven’t… I wouldn't dare disrespect your image, my lord.” They say, looking up through their lashes with big doe eyes and raising a hand to the bell on their neck. It was a pretended innocence, they both knew. The lamb had been not-so-subtly provoking Narinder since they first met.

  “Lamb, you are my vessel, you belong to me, every act of yours, every desire, is devotion to me.” The Lamb exhales shakily, the ring around their neck almost burns. “Go on, show me how devoted you are.”

Ewen raises their other hand and undoes the clasp of their fleece, letting it fall to their feet, then they move to remove their bell, but Narinder stops them. “Leave the bell, little lamb.” They do, and start to unbutton their clothes, all while looking up at their god. His hand was still resting on the ground behind them, and they lay down, leaning against it.

Narinder’s eyes are fixated on them as they spread open their legs, already painfully horny. They started to run their hands over their body, as they had done dozens of times before, but now, with their god watching them so intently, it felt so much better.

They don’t waste too much time, soon they’ve shoved two fingers inside themselves and moved them with reckless abandon, breathing shakily and letting out an occasional small bleat of pleasure. Narinder doesn’t say anything, but he watches them with a grin; three red eyes focused on them.

They decide then that if their god wanted to see their dream, they could show how it went, at least partially.

The crown, eager for sin, moves and transforms mid-air, assuming the phallic shape, with the barbs, just like they had imagined. Lamb slides further down, spreading their legs and raising their hips for their god's better view, and the crown shoves itself into them without hesitation.

  And the god watches; the Lamb’s pathetic bleats and moans fill the silence of death's realm with pleasure, with the hot dripping feeling that is desire. The crown moves slowly at first, but it only takes Narinder a bit of will to order it to move faster. 

The little Lamb rolls their eyes, calls his given name in between a moan and with a dumb satisfied smile on their face. Narinder can feel their devotion, their obsession, dripping like the wetness between their legs. “My lord!” They plead, eyes barely focusing on him. “I'm yours all yours!” They say it like a mantra, a prayer to belong to him and him only. 

They say Death is merciless, but Narinder feels quite merciful as he moves his hand to better support his darling vessel before willing the crown to go faster.

Ewen's mind feels melted; their god, Narinder, was looking at them with the repressed hunger only an immortal could have, the crown inside them was hitting all the right places, and their climax approached fast, so fast, almost there.

They cum with a desperate bleat, the crown finally slows down. Narinder takes in the sight of their perfect vessel lost in bliss; in another time, he would have adorned the little lamb in jewels and have them sit on the arm of his throne during every banquet, then take them to his chambers and fuck him over and over just to see them so beautifully blissed out.

But his chained form doesn’t allow him such things, so instead he allows the crown to return to the Lamb’s head — clean and back to its regular shape —  and nudges the lamb to stand on their shaky legs.

“Return to your duties, little vessel, but remember I'm always watching you.”

  The Lamb gets dressed, still a bit shaky, and is sent back to the cult, knowing that their god would have much to watch during the next few nights.

A/n: A little messy, but I had fun trying to write another Lamb, hope i did it justice.

Where are aym and baal during this scene? Out on a walk or smt idk. Whats the Lamb's genitalia like? Bruh whatever is convenient idc im not good at describing those things lol

[2n2n]

ch.115

MORE EXCITING THAN ANTICIPATED.........!?!!? unimaginable...

I can't believe Aida-sensei really committed to having to draw that Dorothy outfit so much....! omgg it would be so easy to have Nene-chan change out right after her play..... suppose she wanted to get in a couple more pages of that girl before changing her back huaah..

NENE-CHAAAAAN!!!!!! I'M SORRY GIRL............ I'M SORRY ABOUT YOUR CATASTROPHICALLY AND CATEGORICALLY BAD TAAAAAAAAASTE.... I'M SORRY FOR YOUR OWN CONSEQUENCES ........

I can feel it so viscerally though, ugh. I can look at mine or my husband's past flop dating history, escapades..... imagine being dumped in-media-res to my shitty potentials while I'm trying to find my beautiful husband.....................

good representation of the rat

eehghrglg

NENE-CHAAAAAN I'M SORREEYYYYYY!!!! omfgggg it's really so real... imagine being dumped into my pan poly aro days .... the fucking cruising grind girl aourouuruuru

this is so funny though, it's like........ Hanako really did a favor for her by harassing her so much and conscripting her, then? WHAT a way to spin it.... but really, being with Hanako did teach Nene-chan what it's like to be more deeply and seriously invested in someone TT__TT his history, his life, his moods, his desires.... you can see how poor Nene-chan just gets... swept up in whatever is around her, and if the people around her are shallow, she's not able to imagine or invent anything better than what's presented to her....

you can't just invent or enterprise for better, in high school especially....! who can teach you it could be more, if there's no evidence of that in your life..... if all a girl has is a boy only giving her the time of day if she does chores, or a chauvanist bastard, what can she doooo...!

but it's so ah.............................. the new opportunity of Hanako , it's endearing isn't it.... you can understand their raw compatibility, two playful goons, childish in ways, goofing off all the time.... playing games.... but then Hanako has these edges of tenderness & darkness, mouuuu. First time having a best friend, is what it feels like, firstly... I love the ways he inadvertently makes Nene-chan more thoughtful and compassionate, just by existing next to her... he doesn't even ask her to solve anything about him.... he'd rather keep it shallow too, at the start, but the inertia of their chemistry won't allow it to stagnate....

and now. the scariest possible thing in the entire universe

you feel untrustworthy to me.... there is something sick & twisted about you............. put this guy ina cage tie him to a post... he looks wiley......... ouuuuuu I won't forget you skipping and humming while girls summon your cursed otouto.... ooo I won't forget you won't trick me.... ouuuuuuuuu *STANDING BEHIND FURNITURE*

it is a bad sign to me that you have a smug or arrogant aura... as my husband said, "closer to a dracula" ..... you're not a little meep nerdo or mopey sad guy..... my hackles my hackles are raiiiised... yabe

now pause... paws...

what is with you, Amane, you are definitely just making instant coffee.... this isn't even a fancy thing to do... this is the equivalent of putting a packet of hot cocoa powder into a mug, but you're doing it in this convoluted way... for what, for who, do you do this every day like this...... it's kind of lame but really funny also. Is this creating intrigue? Are you trying to seem cool? Did you just forget your mug in the break room? At first I thought he was doing a fanciful method of brewing but he is NOT..... there are no filters here... Yugi-sensei....!?!?

ooooo its happening ooooooooo... im getting aggressions.... ooooo youuu-- I know you're stupid............... look at you......

now, what do you think this experience was like for Yugi-sensei (since as it seems, these are not dreams or delusions or ghosts, but time-travel-like shenanigans with real consequences as streams cross, meaning both Nene-chan and Yugi-sensei equally experienced each other as an anomaly), who has a random girl walk into his science prep room in the 1980s, and she's like, objectively his type

"hmm lol who is this girl I don't recognize from any of my classes .... kinda nice with it tho ? haha whaaat since when am I into students lol ? " girl disappears seconds later. gets all scared like uweh (((Amane who is canonically bad with horror)) kowai.... what was that....... *standing alone in a room with a half-chub*

you know even bandaged pre-murder boy, for all that's going on in his life, still somehow had it in him to be horny about Nene-chan. it's an unstoppable force like that. Amazing that at age 27 Amane can finally like contain it and ''''''act normally'''' (not normal!!!) (but not run away or instantly start sexually harassing)

meanwhile, kind of untenable that he is also like "haha what do you want to talk about. perhaps maybe that cursed rumor everyone's into" like, don't you be bringing your haunted otouto up so often, creep..... what agenda is this!!!!! don't bring it up casually!!! it's suspicious!!!!!!!!

GET A JOB STAY AWAY FROM HER!!!!!! what are you gonnaa pour her a BEAKER? you gonna do your whole production with the tongs AGAIN? is this you being cool, Yugi-sensei? ooooo ... VILLAIN

but ... (containing my fear) I feel for poor Nene-chan.... poor poor thing.... what a strange, inexplicable figment... your beloved.... something unseen.... something unknown....

very artfully and sweetly conveyed.... I'm happy to see Nene-chan get to meet a Yugi-sensei in his heyday, despite how the ages work out in her exact era... Iro-sensei is very clever for creating the excuse of unstable time around the Festival, and this situation only lasting 3 days anyway. It's a nice, exact circumstance... it has a good, fated feeling. I like that Tsukasa prepped Nene-chan for understanding this situation....

you've found him....! something to chase after.... poor girl.... you can do it, Nene-chan....!

really excited for what she'll do next.... where do we go from here, girl...? You know he worked here, now.... how do we find out more? It's still up in the air, if he's still alive, or not.... if he lived in the Red House... ?

meanwhile, Mitsuba looking broke af

not into it... not into you normally either but not into this hat... very funny though... this is extremely middle schooler vibes.... bucket hat.... striped undershirt....

well, I'll comment on things even if I'm only vaguely interested...

Kou seems to be calmer and more knowledgeable/experienced, which goes with him being already established as an 'exorcist'... I wonder if it, in turn, has something to do with Teru being engaged? I wonder what their roles are ....

uuhghghhh and the gatcha finally reveals what boy we have here in this world..................

AMANEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHAT DID YOU DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

BABY GIRL...

what happeneddddddd what happened.ddd.... pleaaase... it could not be more extreme..... is this what you're humming and skipping about, Amane? Why are you satisfied-seeming? Why are you spreading the rumor of this? WHAT DID YOU DO!!!!!!

T H E T W I N S H A V E B E C O M E A G E G A P P E D

THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!!

ohhh little haunted boy unwell unwell.... hole boy.... oobie though... kind of booboo ... worthy of love I think, open to love, must love.... kind of a strange rare gatcha here, this isn't birthday boy, this isn't even recognizable garden boy, this is a wholly new outfit.... surprised to see bare feet... unkempt, dirty seeming... why on EARTH is he THIS AGE !??! what age IS THIS exactly anyway, I can't even be 100% sure!!!! 3??? 4 ???? 5??? did Amane dictate-- any of this??? but honestly it's exactly as incomprehensible as 13 y/o SHOSEI SWAG Tsukasa in the main timeline, an outfit we have equally no context for yet, or proof he even wore when alive at a particular time....

WE FINALLY GET A BONUS NEXT ISSUE.... god uhhhghh meeting Tsukasa-chan finally.... and Nene-chan is seeking her boy.... arrghhhh!!!!!!!!! URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[pearlprincess02]

taylor swift and joe alwyn 1st house synastry

planets and aspects below

taylor's 1st house

taylor's mars in joe's 1st house

mars falling in the 1st house is an enticing, aggressively playful, and physically erotic linkage. this synastry gives me the energy of not being able to contain your smile, even though you're arguing. these two grind each other's gears, in a way that you want to strangle them, then make out. mars (taylor) is instantly on a pursuit for the house (joe), like they see them as something to conquer. the house (joe) thrives on the ego boost from mars' (taylor) chase, and may deprive mars (taylor) of their presence to maintain control. initially, the mars (taylor) is definitely somewhat at a whim of the house (joe). however, the house (joe) is physically captivated by mars (taylor). mars (taylor) appears as a rugged, lustful meal of sex appeal for the house (joe). "i could eat that girl for lunch". it's like mars (taylor) gives the house (joe) a taste for life and adrenaline. eye-fucking each other across the room vibes. this overlay may feel like a game at times, like a nonchalant war to see who breaks the tension first. the house's (joe) behavior riles mars (taylor) up, intentionally or not. the energy of mars (taylor) making fun of the house (joe) constantly, while the house (joe) is telling them to shut up. the first impressions of this person are very strong and memorable, you definitely won't forget them after originally meeting. this connection is inspiring for the house (joe), as if mars (taylor) pulls motivation out of them. very lively and dynamic relationship. laughing, tickle torture, and angry sex.

taylor's mars squares joe's mercury

you can hit and hurt each other through words. mars person (taylor) is irritated by mercury person's (joe) ironic attitude, while mercury person (joe) regards mars person (taylor) as overly defensive and competitive. you should avoid getting into heated exchange of ideas. if you identify with your opinions then you'll feel threatened every time your ideas are even slightly challenged. opinions might be just empty beliefs or early life conditioning, so you must slow down your verbal excesses in order to see things more objectively.

taylor's mars trine joe's venus

this is a typical feature of a fervent and sensual magnetism. even if not a couple, you may use that desire to complete everyday activities. appeal to each other is vibrant and powerful. mars person (taylor) is more strongminded and energetic but venus person (joe) is more receptive. venus person (joe) entices mars person (taylor) with appeal and captivating ways while mars person (taylor) entices venus person (joe) with forthright activities and, if a couple, via a sensual presence. such visceral magnetism doesn't promise a long-term relationship, which may have no commitment. the dance of action and attraction is natural and pleasurable for you. probably you will feel attracted to each other even though you just finished a relationship. venus person (joe) is attracted by mars person's (taylor) also on the physical level while mars person (taylor) is attracted by venus person's (joe) beauty, charm and loving attitude.

taylor's mars sextil joe's north node

mars person (taylor) is energizing and motivating to north node person (joe). north node person (joe) may feel sexually attracted to mars person (taylor) and both can ignite each others’ passions. this relationship may feel karmically destined, as mars person (taylor) feels compelled to help north node person (joe) fulfill their destiny. north node person (joe) is invigorated by mars person's (taylor) courage and ambition. this relationship can feel dramatic, exciting and captivating. mars person (taylor) embodies a powerful energy that north node person (joe) may wish to emulate. this is an active relationship and whether romantic, sexual or professional, both motivate each other through healthy competition and challenging the status quo. mars person (taylor) and north node person (joe) may embark on a series of adventures together, or may collaborate on a challenge involving physically demanding work or exercise program, or athletic pursuits. north node person (joe) may also help mars person (taylor) to better channel their passion and energy, helping them to overcome anger issues or to become emboldened and empowered in productive ways.

taylor's mars squares joe's midheaven

there's much energy directed to your individual careers or even toward a common goal, but competition and ego trips turn off mars person's (taylor) energy and impair midheaven person's (joe) steadfastness. mars person (taylor), while giving energy to midheaven person's (joe) path toward success, might threaten it by being too impatient and forceful. midheaven person (joe) resents the efforts done for mars person's (taylor). at other time, mars person (taylor) gives lots of energy to midheaven person's (joe) which they take for granted. midheaven person (joe) considers mars person's (taylor) rushed initiatives as a threat to its career. mars person (taylor) doesn't accept midheaven person's (joe) criticisms and reacts in a belligerent way. when together, you are both too identified with being recognized and admired in your accomplishments instead of valuing what you can provide to each other.

taylor's pluto in joe's 1st house

pluto's presence in the 1st house can be an intensely metamorphic bond. this relationship goes beyond physical, into the deep intertwining of each other. the house (joe) portrays a fascinating allure towards pluto (taylor). pluto (taylor) feels very tempted and inexplicably drawn towards the house (joe), almost like the house (joe) is testing to see when pluto (taylor) gives in. the house (joe) feels like pluto (taylor) dominates their mind, which can quickly lead to them becoming smitten. pluto's (taylor) persona intimidates and simultaneously attracts the house (joe). in this connection, pluto (taylor) will inevitably hold a lot of power, and can become jealous and overbearing regarding the house (joe). this bond requires pluto (taylor) to be mindful of arising insecurities revolving the house's (joe) outward charm to others. the house (joe) feels like pluto (taylor) peers into their soul, seeing their vulnerabilities and weak spots. the house (joe) almost can't turn away, because of the intimacy they discover through this connection. this is the type of couple that turns heads when they walk in. if pluto is afflicted, this synastry is susceptible for forced change and control. pluto (taylor) needs to be cautious of trying to mold the house (joe) into what they want, rather than what the house (joe) wants. by supporting the house (joe), pluto (taylor) can propel the house's (joe) spiritual and psychological broadening, and act as an important guide for the house (joe) to fulfill the immense potential that pluto (taylor) sees in them.

taylor's pluto opposites joe's moon

you attract each other on an instinctual and gut level, which seems compulsive and uncontrollable to both of you. jealousy and emotional manipulations are always lurking in your relationship to keep the other person under control. moon person (joe) may play the guilt card while pluto person (taylor) has the ability to sense moon person's (joe) unconscious needs and manipulate them. pluto person (taylor) tends to have a power and controlling attitude toward moon person (joe). moon person (joe) should refrain from letting pluto person (taylor) take advantage of the need for belonging and safety by being controlled. what you both need to let go is the belief that you can be loved only if control is present.

taylor's pluto sextil joe's neptune

they show each other kindness and understanding. they may learn how to be better people around each other. may learn how to forgive and/or heal in this relationship. forgetting each other is one of the few things that isn’t easy about this aspect

joe's 1st house

joe's lilith in taylor's 1st house

primal feelings for one another, you feel enticed and even more aware of your body in the presence of one another-the lilith person (joe) is deeply enthralled by the sight of the house person (taylor) and vice versa! there can be an added dose of instinctual and lustful sexuality for the two involved. sex is often aggressive and intense. domination can be a running gag as one of you may try to be in charge as a means to establish a sort of status quo or grounding to the attraction but for the most part it points to a very in your face sort of feeling of intensity.

joe's lilith conjuncts taylor's sun

when sun person's (taylor) sun and lilith person's (joe) lilith combine, each person awakens the deep desire for individuality and creativity in each other. you both feel admiration for each other. sun person (taylor) helps lilith person (joe) recognize their subconscious gifts and strengths. sun person (taylor) brings optimism and hope that can shed light on lilith person's (joe) otherwise sinister attitude toward life. sun person (taylor) can also help lilith person (joe) feel like they can be free to be who they are. lilith person (joe) can find validation and encouragement from sun person (taylor). though lilith person (joe) will rebel against anyone who tries to overstep their boundaries, with sun person (taylor) they are treated as a peer and potential leader rather than someone who has to prove themselves.

joe's eros in taylor's 1st house

you help each other find greater confidence in your sensuality and sexuality. 1st house person (taylor) is transparent and honest with their infatuation with eros person (joe). eros person (joe) helps 1st house person (taylor) explore their deeper sexual desires and fantasies. eros person (joe) and 1st house person (taylor) may feel instantly attracted to each other. though sexuality is typically considered a personal and private matter, for eros person (joe) and 1st house person (taylor), the relationship brings to the surface your deeper desires and shared longings. as a couple, 1st house person (taylor) and eros person (joe) can help each other become more open and confident in your passions and erotic desires, and 1st house person (taylor) may openly project their desires and fantasies, while eros person (joe) helps push the limits and boundaries. your passion for each other is no secret and may be clear to both of you from the very beginning of the relationship. you may “wear” souvenirs of your devotion to each other, such as in a locket, on a tattoo or in some other form, making your shared infatuation a visible part of your outward identity.

joe's eros sextil taylor's venus

you may find it easy to balance your need for romantic and erotic love. venus person (taylor) is compassionate and brings beauty, harmony and compassion to the relationship. eros person (joe) brings erotic desire and sexual energy to the relationship and the two of you can easily recognize how your complementary styles both work together to enhance the relationship. eros person (joe) can help venus person (taylor) explore their sexual and exciting side. venus person (taylor) can help eros person (joe) explore pleasure and pampering in the relationship. both can help each other to combine their sentimental and arousing energy and create a fully satisfying and romantic relationship. you may share similar fantasies or ideals regarding romantic and sexual connection and even if your fantasies differ in some ways, you are both highly compatible both romantically and sexually.

celeb's masterlist / moodboard

crd:

planets in 1st house synastry // mercury - mars aspect synastry / venus - mars aspect synastry / mars - north node aspect synastry / moon - pluto aspect synastry / neptune - pluto aspect synastry // lilith synastry overlay //sun - lilith aspects synastry // eros synastry overlay // venus - eros aspect synastry //

[janumun]

Hello love! I’ve been thinking and there is a lot of push and pull with the fandom about Caleb. And I’m wondering how you feel about him? What do you think of his character? What’s your speculations & how would you feel about it if he became a LI? My friends and I have sat down once & analyzed him and MC’s dynamic and dialogue, but as someone who has been in the LADS longer, what’s your POV? I’m so torn between my views and how there are some ppl in the fandom with such strong views and opinions about their relationship. (I’m currently on Ch.7 rn I believe, just to give a timeline)..

I hope you have an amazing day and all your daydreams are fun! 💕

Hello to you too, Gold! ♥️ I hope you’re having a great day as well.

Let me just preface this by saying I absolutely adore Caleb, there isn’t a single thing that man could do which would change that so I’m understandably biased LOL. Dividing this into labeled portions for ease of reading as this gets rather long!

My thoughts on him

I’ve been in love with that big giant since the near moment he looks down at you with those very visceral emotions tearing across his face, before he stops what he’s saying, leaving the end of his sentence unfinished (that “I promise I’ll be back soon.” message from him in our inbox is foul, Infold, FOUL sob).

If they had never introduced Sylus as a love interest, I know Caleb would’ve very easily been my 2nd favorite after Rafayel, I adore him that much.

I think I’ve made it somewhat obvious ATP that I’m a loser for yearning men. 1000/10 yearning in the pipeline, immense love and a desperate desire to keep their beloved safe and witness them happy, even at the cost of their own happiness and mental peace (Rafayel cough Rafayel). And Caleb also fits that bill to a T. I believe he would do anything were it to mean MC could go on living her everyday, normal life.

His method of protection, however, lies in how dedicated he is to the task of (fool! this fool!) willingly distancing himself from her by throwing in emotional barriers: treating her like a childhood friend/a little sister instead of what he’s always viewed her as, the girl he loves.

One of the most wonderful aspects of Love and Deepspace is how well it is able to portray subtle emotions through facial expressions and body language, something that its 2D predecessors, understandably, are at a disadvantage with how they have to make up for it in engaging writing (nothing wrong with that one!).

Bringing me to my original point of how Caleb’s actions/the way he looks at her and cares for her do not coincide with his words/setting up spoken barriers with her, delegating her to an annoying “childhood friend”. It goes without saying, that this is up to personal interpretation.

Thankfully, the only complaint I’ve seen in my space regarding Caleb’s potential as our 5th LI is that the game is fairly expensive for people aiming to get more than one LI’s card (and even then, when my sole bias was Rafayel pre-Sylus, as a casual spender, I had to pick and choose which cards of his I absolutely needed) and Caleb’s addition would make that struggle worse for the harem/multi-bias players. Which is a very valid concern to have.

Speculations

There are so many wonderful ways they could take his character were they to make him playable, and expand on what we already know of him.

Is he blood related to Josephine, MC’s adoptive grandmother, or was he, also, for reasons undisclosed/similar to MC’s reasons for being taken in by Josephine (I’m not sure if you have read those “underworld stories” yet so I will not go into spoiler-y details) adopted by her? How much does he truly know about MC’s condition and how her Evol is one, highly coveted? Assuming his playability also leads us to assuming he either survived that house fire and left the scene, not disclosing his whereabouts to even his childhood friend OR that he had something to do with it.

So far, I’m not inclined to believe the “Villain Caleb” theories any more than I’m inclined to believe Rafayel’s betrayal theories. Even amongst the LaDS cast and personal bias aside, I believe these two are the most likely to actively/most prominently display their marks of devotion for her, even through their direly reckless actions, regardless of the consequences to their own person. Case in point, Caleb’s traumatic “death” in the house fire with his Grandmother. We don’t know if it was intentional but if he is alive, he hasn’t contacted MC either and from what I’ve parsed from his character so far, she probably plays a central role in the decision he’s made to keep away/protect her from the sidelines.

[fuckyeahgoodomensfanfic]

Good Omens Fic Rec: Can't Fight Back, But I Can Take It

...in those early years, when Crowley would slide a hand between his legs for some relief, the scenes in his mind showed an Aziraphale who gave Crowley what he wanted, yes, but gave it as a favour. As a punishment. That Aziraphale would be mocking, almost bored, as he bent Crowley over a bed or put him on his knees. Poor excuse for a demon, he’d sneer. Look at how desperate you are. Ridiculous. Is this what you wanted? And Crowley would take it, take it gratefully, penance and pleasure both. His desire satisfied by its own consequence.

Length: 10,214 words

AO3 Rating: Explicit/ Spice Level 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Best for: At Home, After Dark

Triggers: Read Tags

Read it here, fic by voluptatiscausa

*Minor Spoilers* This was my third reread of this story, so of course I have to post about it for my Smutty Saturday! Check the tags on it to see if it's right for you! The first time I read it I struggled with the degradation, that's not something that's typically my cup of tea. But I kept thinking about this one. Out of the blue I would think of something from this, so I had to come back to it. More than just deliciously filthy smut, there's deep layers of character exploration that need to be unpacked here. It's rich and complex, and I still think there's more for me to analyze and understand.

On my first read, I think a lot of it went over my head, but coming back and really paying attention to what it's saying has gotten me on the right path. It's gorgeous, visceral, and a little brutal. They're hungry and desperate, "He’d accused Crowley of greed, but he’s the one feeling savage with need." The exploration of Aziraphale's character here is exquisite. He's a being that wants desperately, and for thousands of years has denied it. Never let's his desires be seen, for fear of punishment. His indulgences are, "just keeping up with appearances". Now he's safe, and gets to take and possess. Above all, it speaks to the love and safety he has with Crowley. It takes so much trust for them to be able to play like this. And honestly, I love fanfiction for giving us the space and opportunity to think about concepts like these. I know I still have so much more meaning to discover here!

Clearly, an explicit and after dark read, but I also suggest giving this your full attention. Make sure you're in the right headspace for it!

Oh and the art by @chernozemm that's included?? i'm dead i've died i'm posting from the grave. help

Read it here, fic by voluptatiscausa

[dreamersbcll]

You’ve got a heart like heaven, but you’re burning like hell

(codependency. codependency. codependency)

for my @krikeymate

——————————————————————————

Soft kisses pepper her hands, her fingertips curling in delight.

“You do know, nobody loves you quite like me.”

A playful bite to the shoulder blade, hands snake around her middle. Tara breathed out softly, her breath tickling the hair that lay above Sam’s ear. Her little sister hums, her fingernails tracing delicate patterns across Sam’s middle.

Though they were only a few months since New York, Tara had grown back into the love bug she always was as a kid. There was nothing Sam could do or say to get her little sister to stop loving on her. Chaste kisses were planted on her throat while scarred hands held her arms, holding Sam down to earth. It was almost like they were young again, Tara loving Sam so freely, openly, and naively.

Like Sam wasn’t capable of destroying that love again and again.

She was capable of anything; murder and all its cruel intentions were always within an arm’s length. There was no reason for Tara to love her so purely.

Yet her little sister chose to, again and again.

It’s too much. It’s all too much.

The worst part was Sam was so full of love. She was bursting at the seams, even. Her hands shook to hold her friends and her baby sister. Her voice ached to proclaim her affections and desires. Every part of her was weighed down with the love that outgrew her heart.

She doesn’t know what to do with all the love in her body. Love was a weakness, a cop-out, a feeling. It wasn’t tangible; it wasn’t something she could hold in her hands and use. No, it was a behavior—a learned behavior based on how wonderful, desired, and alive the other person made her feel.

The behavior to give someone all the love back that she received from them.

However, she couldn’t allow herself to behave. All she desperately wanted was to purge herself of her devotions, but she couldn’t get herself to stop swallowing it back.

There was something too visceral, too raw about affection. Receiving it was one thing, as it cost nothing to accept and bask in the loving adoration of someone else.

But to be the one that cuts themself open to let others see their heart? That was an impossible task.

Once she lets herself be carved open, she may never be able to search the world for that same love again.

It was almost better to suffocate in her love than empty without it.

Tara didn’t care. She continued to love Sam like it was the first and last time she would ever see her big sister's face. It was wondrous how much her little sister loved her despite all the damage Sam had inflicted on their relationship.

Sam had broken their bridge, burning it and stomping on the ashes. But Tara still stayed in the empty graveyard and waited for life to grow out of the rubble.

And somehow, someway, Sam did something right; and the rubble around their feet grew into a new home.

She knows that their love isn’t what it once was. They could never return to their youth; the innocence was forever gone. But she also knew that their new home was reminiscent of their past, with brand new pillars of trust.

No matter what Sam did, whether it be that she had killed people or her consistent nightmares of succumbing to her bloodline, Tara still loved her. Flushed skin and wild eyes never deterred her little sister; she just learned to work around it. Soft kisses trail down Sam’s jaw, and soft hums vibrate against her chest, soothing Sam’s fears instantly.

There wasn’t a day that Tara didn’t squeeze her big sister’s hands- one, two, three- times to remind her that I Am Here.

And Sam learned to kiss Tara three times on the forehead and remind her sister that I Love You.

All she wanted to do was verbalize it.

——-

“You do know, nobody loves me quite like you,”

Her big sister swallows hard, her stomach twisting beneath Tara’s dancing fingertips. She sensed her big sister’s discomfort, her hands freezing as if she had been caught. Tara wasn’t an idiot, always a straight-A student, but she was never very good at reading mixed signals.

What she lacked in awareness, she made up for in self-loathing.

She wasn’t an idiot; she knew that she loved too deeply. Jump then fall, let the wind blow through her hair as she waits to be picked. Sometimes, she was caught before she hit the ground; others, she knew that she would make a dent in the earth below her.

It was easier to love than be loved. Tara knew who she was: someone with a big heart, too much to give, not enough room to receive. She was placed on earth to bring awareness to others of their own personal worth. She loved people until they could walk without her crutch, and she waved to them as they walked out of her life.

The back door would always be open if they ever chose to come home.

Only one did.

Sam.

Tara doesn’t fully understand why or how her big sister comes back. Sure, there was Ghostface and the legacy bullshit. She knew that. But after all the blood, broken bones, and brutalized corpses, Sam still stayed.

She would never admit that she could never bear witness if their love died young. That porch light was always on, hoping that Sam would find her way through the woods and back home again.

Somehow, she did. And now Tara had her back. She couldn’t fuck this up.

So, she loved. And she loved fearlessly. She loved openly and freely, her arms stretched out, her teeth bared to the sun, daring it to force her to turn around. If Sam wanted to leave again, it wouldn’t be because Tara didn’t love her enough.

It wouldn’t be Tara’s fault again.

Chaste kisses pressed against bruised skin, skin matted by cigarette burns and old track marks. It didn’t matter if the skin of her sister wasn’t what she grew up with; all it proved was how resilient her big sister was.

And her big sister was the strongest, most potent person Tara would ever have known. She would never let her sister forget it.

She rested her head against Sam’s chest, closing her eyes to the sound of the beating heart beneath it. There was something so irresistible about her sister's heartbeat, for it reminded Tara that Sam was real and that she was hers once again.

Letting her hands trace I Love Yous across her sister’s abdomen, Tara let herself breathe deeply. This was all she wanted. Intimacy. Love. Touch.

A noise rumbled beneath Tara’s ear, waking her from her blissful embrace. Sam’s voice. She was speaking.

“What, Sammy?” she whispered, not taking her ear off her sister’s chest.

Her big sister’s chest rumbles again, a response.

Tara reluctantly sat up, facing her sister. “Can you say that again? I’m sorry. I couldn’t hear.”

Sam blinked, her eyes stormy. Tara knew that look. It was everything Sam wouldn’t allow herself to say. She used to be upset with her big sister’s lack of words and inability to speak her mind. But she soon realized Sam couldn’t talk her emotions, as they were too big to conquer. They weren’t things Sam could hold and show.

So Tara let her take her time, giving her big sister her undivided attention. Her big sister needed her time and attention, and who was Tara to deny Sam of that?

Her big sister swallowed hard, licking her lips. Tara nodded slightly.

I am here. Recognize your emotions. Take your time. I am not leaving.

“You’re a part of me, do you know that?” Sam softly said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Tara breaths out, her heart fluttering. “I am?”

Deep inside, she cringes in disbelief of her insecurities. Shame on her for being so unlovable. She needed to be normal and be capable of the love that would eventually follow her home.

(Sam knows what Tara’s thinking; she knows her little sister was cursing herself for her tumultuous personality. But that was never true. Tara’s openness gave her the courage to open up herself. She would forever be thankful for that.)

“You are very special to me. I love you,” Sam breathed out, her eyes turned away, her voice shy as if she was afraid that the olive branch she was holding would snap.

Quite the opposite.

Tara knows that her big sister couldn’t handle the deafening love she desperately wanted to give. Sam needed a quiet reply, something not to squash the massive admission she had previously uttered.

Instead, she squeezes Sam’s ribs, her fingertips tapping a careful pattern.

One, Two, Three

I love you.

One, two, three.

I will always.

One, two, three

You are mine.

Finally, Tara whittles down to one tap, her tear-stained face gently pressed into Sam’s neck, kissing the skin that shivered beneath her lips.

One. One. One.

Always. Always. Always.

Sam shivers in response, tears snaking down her cheek, pooling into Tara’s hair. Her hands shake, fingertips aching to touch. But she can’t.

And that’s okay. It doesn’t matter if they don’t touch.

Tara knew how much her sister loved her because she loved her more.

[hell-drabbles]

i was reading the ra-on cuck ask again and i saw u say he ends up in the cucks seat eventually in these fantasies. im like a billion percent sure that he ends up thinking about the companion and one of his lovers bc hes sooo insecure. like he Knows theyre not itnerested in the devils amd that they would never do that to him but he ends up getting mad or upset at the companion.

anyways yeah just a thought i had. im like so obsessed w ur companion au its so good <33

Yeah Ra-on's insecurity manifests in that flip-flop of being in the cuck's chair, or being the one that's taken away from his lover. Wants to be taken and desired, but is also so prone to drifting towards those other fantasies of being called pathetic, weak-willed.

Point being, Ra-on does not engage with this cuck kink healthily and that's so fun for me.

The companion is in a realm of their own, in Ra-on mind. Minhyeok stands above him, but he's a hell of a lot closer, more tangible and easier to be around than the companion. Because of that, the Companion is this big and strong figure that can go and just, take whatever they want, as though it belongs to them. So of course he'd have these kinds of fantasies.

Not gonna lie, I was actually initially really hesitant on making any mentions of cuckoldry because it gives people such visceral reactions, like I just served them radioactive waste or something. It's the type of kink that requires an intense amount of trust in all the parties involved, but it's often reduced down to just "ugh, the degenerative cheater kink, of course." Just, hard focuses on the cheater part, when it's, you know, ultimately a fantasy that needs nice and clear communication. It's weird to me.

Also random, but I need to think how Ra-on acts post character development. I know that when he changes and becomes a way better version of himself, he'll end up sighing in disappointment at his previous self. Angry, almost, a self he wants to leave behind just as much as he wants to leave behind the lingering traces of Solomon.

You know, the kind of confidence that makes Ra-on go from a skinny, meek and virginal twink to someone that serves cunt and holds no shame and way better control over himself and his desires. Cunty twink perhaps? You know, the kind of tease that makes his voice a little sing-songy just to entice people. That'll be so funny because that is definitely a version pre-development Ra-on would not be able to see.

I want post-character development Ra-on to be the kind of person that makes one go "You little shit," while smiling. You get me?

[librarycards]

please don’t feel pressured at all to answer this because i know it’s a complicated + sensitive question, but i’m very new to all this and have learned a lot from your antipsych resources etc and thought you’d be a good person to ask. how are you able to internally reconcile anti-fatphobia and it’s values with having an eating disorder that centers around weight, and wanting to lose/maintain a lower weight? i’ve found this to be incredibly hard to reconcile, knowing that i want to be thinner for a variety of reasons including my own internalized fatphobia, beliefs i haven’t unlearned about body, beauty, etc, as well as my own knowledge of how i will materially exist in the world if i am not a thin person? i do not want to be fatphobic yet to fully embody a liberationist view would also require giving up my ed, which is opposite to my own internal views but also is something that is very entrenched in my life. it feels very hard and impossible, especially because i’m just not ready for recovery yet. sorry if this isn’t a message you want to post/discuss :(

Firstly - I have a piece in @trans-axolotl's antipsychiatry zine that discusses thin anorexic/ed accompliceship in fat liberation politics - as soon as that's up I can add it to this message/send it to whoever wants it!

-

oh anon, i feel this so hard. you're not alone - i think pretty much everyone with a restrictive ed/bdd who has a radical left/body liberationist politic ends up feeling this way, and, of course, feeling an immense degree of shame and frustration that our most visceral lived experiences are at odds with our political commitments. i think about it every day. i will likely continue to, because the desire to be thin at all costs is irreconcilable with liberation for all people, including fat people. so, let's sit with the irreconcilability for a moment.

here is the reality: there is no good, "innocent," or morally "pure" answer here. we cannot and should not be obligated to "fix" our Mad relationships with food/embodiment for the sake of others. neither are fat people obligated to tolerate individual / collective / structural manifestations of antifatness, including those enacted by people whose food/body relationships are psychiatrized (that is to say, if i start talking about how i as an anorexic person "feel fat" around an actual fat person, they'd have every right to smack me upside the head). but part of being in community with other imperfect people under conditions of genocidal violence (against fat / Mad people and intersections therein) is learning about which allowances we can make, which actions we can take, in order to mitigate the harm we do to the people we care about. to employ a tired recovery cliche, the point is progress, not perfection.

here is another truth: every single person mired in a culture of fatphobia has shit to unlearn. for people who are not fat, the stakes of unlearning are even higher, given the structural rewards we reap from antifatness. this is true for any system of oppression. having an antipsych orientation to the idea of "disordered/disorderly eating", i think, has the potential to aid in that unlearning process, not because it means you'll magically "get better" in terms of your own relationship with food, but because it's a bit easier to notice the discourses of disorder that also violently impact fat people. the violence we face in the name of "restoration" and "recovery" increasingly impacts fat people as so-called "ob*sity" is framed as a biopsychological medical condition that must be "cured" via eugenics. shared disorderliness, even allowing for differences in privilege and access, can serve as a site of solidarity - even when our own experiences of disorder are fueled by an erroneous fear of "fat". there is also the important corollary that fat people with restrictive eating disorders, fat people who are terrified of fatness, also exist, and that a radical commitment to imperfection and partiality also benefits people who live in these seemingly-contradictory positions.

to sum, you/i/we don't ever have to recover. however, we can, should, and must fight for a world in which we and others could repair their relationship to food and embodiment if and when we so choose, on our own terms, in our own time, without medical paternalism. this world - a world in which we can eat or not eat what and when we want - is only possible under a paradigm of body/fat liberation. after all, the same systems that seek to eliminate fat people are the ones that seek to eliminate body Madness, to "fix" restrictive eaters through governing how we eat/move our bodies. on the days that it's difficult to imagine yourself as a direct beneficiary of fat liberation (as a fat person or potential fat person) think about the ways fat liberation is simply necessary to all other forms of liberation, including for Mad eaters. likewise, remember that your own personal feelings are in many ways irrelevant to that liberatory fight: what you do, who your accomplices are, and what we can collectively dream, outweigh (lmao) the painful thoughts we experience.

these thoughts, our bodymind relationships, our fears of food and fat, don't define us, even if they take up an outsized portion of our lives. there is always time and space to find community and fight for total liberation as our imperfect selves - everyone else is coming as an imperfect self, too. i think you'll find, as you enter more conversations with people doing this work, that even the "best" advocates share your/our ambivalences and fears, and may desire things that they'd never outwardly advocate for. people are complicated, and we're living in a world that makes living in a body horrifically painful. give yourself the grace to sit with your feelings, and give yourself permission to fight on another day without feeling obligated to "get better." what matters most is the care you're able to share with the people you surround yourself with, and the care you allow yourself to receive by people who love all of you - not just the polished, good-activist parts.

[theajaheira]

i’m a black girl and i adore martha, and i think the tenth doctor did NOT deserved her whatsoever. i feel uncomfortable with the idea of martha being paired with the guy who put her through so much horrible situations and was even racist. bc i mean, yeah, the characters aren’t real and rtd is racist & the real responsible for his characters actions but no other character in his era behaved as nasty as ten towards black people. he brushed off martha’s concerns about her race and invited a racist to the tardis so they could have a romance together while martha was there, and he comparing her to rose as if she’s second best, to the point martha admits he can’t see her for who she is, he’s just remembering someone else—someone who he wished was there instead of her—rose. and the way he dismisses her pain in the last of time lords and cries miserably for the man who imprisoned and slaved her family for an entire year. i know the master is his best friend and they have this toxic and complex relationship, but i can’t see him acting the same way regarding the tylers or the nobles, he’d be so pissed off with the master and would prioritize rose’s and donna’s feelings. he’d be like twelve with clara and missy. i think ten’s writing is very racist because, well… he is. sorry. but he is. twelve literally punched a racist to defend bill, ten’s chosen a racist over martha… the fact that she literally left because of the shitty, unfair way she was treated... and as someone who has been in martha’s shoes too many times, i feel really negative and repulsive about this tardis duo, especially with the romantic view on them.

sorry i had to vent off as i’ve seen too many people who’s against this pair having their reasons unfairly invalidated. when most of us are martha stans who believe she deserves all the good things–which tbh is the total opposite of giving her a romance with… ten, out of all incarnations. i have been noticing the martha fans who have a romanticized view on their relationship love to act like everyone who’s against it have racist reasons for it, like. no. just no. we’re not delusional and that’s it

hi! i just got off work, but i've been thinking about this for a minute. my response will be long, as i feel this deserves.

i first wanna preface this by saying that not wanting the doctor to be with martha is more than understandable given how horribly he treated her in canon. i myself struggled through all of her season, and i'm still not 100 percent sure whether i'll be able to watch certain episodes again. absolutely, the way ten treats martha is horrendous, and i would argue that all of his actions towards her in canon are informed by the racism woven so deeply into rtd's era. but the thing is, i feel that saying that the tenth doctor is racist is not going hard enough.

to say that ten is racist means overlooking the fact that ten as a character is supposed to function as someone who pays attention to the intricacies of marginalized communities. this was the authorial intent. the fact that the authorial intent involved ten being consistently racist towards martha means that the bias that must be examined should not be centered around the doctor himself, but with the writers. the writers authentically believed that the tenth doctor was not being racist when he allowed martha to be objectified by shakespeare, harassed by the woman he would later profess the potential of love to & express a desire to travel with, regularly reacts with visceral disgust/discomfort when she flirts with him (that one is the one that's the worst to me!!!) and i feel like saying "ten is racist" limits the scope of how monumentally awful it is that the writers wrote all of those things and still believed that they were writing a hero.

the doctor is always intended to be viewed as someone who has the best interests of humanity at heart. the doctor has also always been written as someone who fights for the rights of people that have been marginalized and oppressed, who makes tearful and impassioned speeches for the humanity of people who are seen as subhuman. the tenth doctor especially is portrayed as someone with boundless compassion who can see the good in everyone and always wants to find a way to forgive and love. this is the inarguable authorial intention re: the tenth doctor. this is why, to me, saying that he is racist erases how fucking horrifying it is that he is written as Not A Racist Person, Ever, while spending an entire season being viscerally, brutally, repeatedly racist to martha.

to sorta demonstrate my point: i think harry potter is a much better example of in-text bigotry from a fictional character that goes hand in hand with the writer's bigotry. ron responds to hermione's crusade for the rights of the house elves with "but they like being enslaved, hermione," and the narrative demonstrates that ron is right. which, sure, fucked up of jkr for perpetuating this message about forced servitude, no question, BUT ALSO ron as a character was raised within a system that repeatedly enforced this idea of the house-elves liking their servitude, was given no reason to question this message, and is not the kind of person to question it anyway. this is so, so, so different from the doctor, who has always been the kind of person to question shitty behavior, to fight for what's right, and to seek for and admire people exactly like martha.

and now to loop back to my own thoughts on ten and martha! i feel that my little two-sentence posts on "martha and the doctor could be cute" definitely did not delve into what motivated my statement. i wanna stress one more time that, if you have watched canon and cannot ever see martha and the doctor together because of how awfully he treated her, that is 100 percent valid and reasonable and i would never dream of correcting you. my anger towards the people who dismiss tenmartha as a concept has always been directed towards the people who are saying that ten could never love martha like he loved rose. i am very sorry that you saw my posts and felt otherwise.

i do not romanticize ten and martha's relationship as it exists in canon. as with my points re: ten, this is a situation where i am responding to a glaring gap in the writing. if the tenth doctor really was consistently written, written as we are intended to see him -- as a person who is loving, kind, always looking out for the people he chooses -- i honestly can't see a timeline where he wouldn't have some sort of romantic feelings towards martha. i feel that a season three written effectively could still carry forward ten's complicated feelings for rose while also honoring the joy and wonder of martha -- specifically, by having ten avoid romance with martha not because she's Not Rose, but because he doesn't want her to be a rebound, and he's worried that admitting he's enamored with martha would mean stringing her along (which, of course, in this situation, he would still be doing). i think a compelling story could be written about martha responding to his awkward and halfhearted attempts to rebuff her while never really letting go of her hand. the narrative would shift so much more clearly away from the clearly racist message of "the doctor obviously could never love martha like that" and so much more towards "the doctor is in love with martha and deeply emotionally damaged, and she deserves better."

but, again, this is the way i choose to engage with the text! and i wanna be really clear that this comes from a place of wanting to articulate exactly how ridiculous it is that the doctor would not love martha, when everything we learn about him as a character in every other season suggests that he would and should love her. if you see this discrepancy and feel antipathy towards the character for it, that is absolutely your prerogative and i would never ever take that away from you. it is fucked up writing and we are all dealing with it however we choose to. if you wanna watch s3 and hate ten forever, i truly think you have every right to do it. this is how i personally choose to express my own anger, and i hope it makes a little more sense laid out like this.

[dappersheep]

Hello! I don’t have an idea if this question bothers or maybe even triggers you, but if it is, feel free to ignore my message.

I’ve always been interested in mental disorders. It goes without saying that this topic is very relevant nowadays. So…

What do you think about mental disorders in the world of Food Fantasy? I mean, if I’m not mistaken, Tteokguk has a confirmed PTSD, according to his story. Is there a possibility that the other Food Souls may have any mental disorder? Do you have someone on your mind that can have a mental disorder? Of course only in terms of pure speculations, but still. We can even talk about Pasta Splatoon, why not?

Hello, the topic itself doesn't bother me so it's all good. This could get long so the rest of the answer is under the cut.

Since you're asking my opinion, mental disorders of course exist on Tierra. It's just that we have to note two things approaching this: 1) Mental disorders will not always be explicitly stated, mostly implied. A show-not-tell kind of narrative. And 2) Not all Food Souls will be able to understand the concept of a mental disorder. Most would likely prefer not to pay attention to it as just because they're human-like, doesn't mean they understand human workings. Some may even think such a thing is below them, as they're not humans and do not feel things the way humans do.

While I'm not familiar with Tteokguk's case beyond knowing he participated heavily in a war that took a toll on him, I am more familiar with others. So I can give you an example in Borscht. While she may not look it, some of her voice lines and her bio allude to her having PTSD from being hunted down in the snow, being in an environment that's too quiet, certain kinds of birds and of course, Vodka. In chapter 3 of her bio, she had a flashback that triggered that PTSD but she recovered quickly enough. I'm sure that Spaghetti did notice it, but he didn't want to coddle her, neither of them would know how to handle that and the best he could do is to cut short their business talk and let her rest for the night. For the most part, she has it under control and it doesn't affect her day-to-day affairs. The forever missing Skin Story event we never got could even offer some closure to some of the things that haunted her, then she was finally able to move on from those ghosts (no it has nothing to do with Vodka).

There's also Oyster. Mm, as far as I see, he's a classic case of neglect and abuse. This of course, stemming from the villagers and his Master Attendant, who all saw him as an omen onto their homes despite saving them from Fallen Angels. He has an aversion to being touched, trust issues and uses annoyance and anger as a defense mechanism. Spaghetti saw the signs and respected Oyster's demand that he didn't enter his space, didn't touch him but gave Oyster the choice to leave that place that has nothing good for him. He had Oyster spend more time with Borscht who let him get used to light errands that slowly socialized him with humans, and then herself and Spaghetti as the Food Soul interactions. So in a way, these two gave him a place to heal and feel some sense of normalcy, even if it's not loudly stated. And Oyster is grateful that these two gave him that chance.

Spaghetti himself is… I can't really say that he has any mental disorders. Melancholy, emotional baggage, emotional constipation and extreme spite for a certain subset of people, sure, but not any disorder. The rest of Desire Tavern doesn't quite fit mental disorders as much either. I'd put it this way: Just because they had experienced something bad in the past doesn't automatically translate to developing a visceral reaction to anything that reminds them of that bad thing, or developing a mental problem. I'd mostly chalk up their responses to range from, 'Oh she's plotting to beat you up' to 'She's not going to react at all to that'.

For other mental disorders… I'd say Souffle has a form of Dissociative disorder, kind of obvious with the existence of Dark Souffle and Souffle being unable to remember much of what happened while the other was in control.

Also Kaiserschmarrn and Whiskey definitely fall into the category of Psychopaths, textbook classics in varying degrees. As seen in the final chapters of Kaiser's event, he's made his ultimate goal very clear to everyone and is not above manipulation, threats and collateral damage to make things go his way. Even his own short introduction text states that while loyalty and safety of his companions is important, that's not the most important things on his mind.

And Whiskey… is Whiskey. We're all aware of his body count and shenanigans all across Tierra.

As for autism… off the top of my head, I don't know if B-52 particularly fits the bill for that because in the first place, he thinks he's a machine and not a Food Soul, and has thought that way for a very, very long time that it becomes a hard conditioning to get rid of. He's started to learn to be less 'mechanical' from the few cameos I've seen of him, but he's still stilted and not very good in communicating what he wants to say or the attention he gets. Again, I don't know if that fits the medical definition of autism but everyone's free to headcanon.

That's as much as I got for you. Feel free to respond again if I didn't really answer your question.

[lyramundana]

Ok, first of all, your chan analysis? Banger. Incredible. Perfectly said. Revolutionary. Marvelous.

But also I felt so happy to see that I'm not the only one who's *very* childfree but would give this man, and this man only, whichever amount of children he wanted. The desire I have to see this man as a dad, I truly feel he would be 110% in his element. I would combust spending the weekends watching his pure joy as he cares for his kids, completely his to take care of and dote on forever, the ones that literally need his care to live and the ones no one would ever be able to take away from him.

Sorry but I get a little unhinged thinking about domestic life with this loser of a man.

Ashdhdnhd thank you so much! ❤❤❤ The first paragraph got me so soft and giggly, like stupid. I don't even consider it an analysis, just some delulu thoughts of mine based on what I see in Christopher Bang. @whatudowhennooneseesyou has way cooler analysis. I strongly recommend you to visit her and take a look.

Of course you're not the only one, sweetie. Christopher Bang makes everyone considerate parenthood. He carries a certain aura on him that makes you want to birth this man's babies and give him a whole army if he desires, regardless if you like children or not. I think most of it is born of our desire to be bred by him and filled with his seed. That's my case at leasts.

I agree he'll be an awesome dad and this role has been made for him. He adores his children, sure, but there's also other reasons he wants to be a father so much. After all, these babies are a living proof of his claim over his partner. His breeding kink is motivated mostly by his possessiveness and urge to control. He knows having a baby undeniably ties two people together in a visceral manner. He loves his children mostly because they're extensions of his partner and also himself. They're completely his. His flesh, his blood, these little humans he created. The wolf in him purrs in delight at the thought.

With this, I meant Christopher Bang would be the most likely to baby-trap his partner in order to keep tied to him. He wants to be a father, but he also loves the dark aspect of it. Part of his adoration for the children is because they're a physical manifestation of his love for his partner and solid chains that keeps her by his side.

His possessiveness would, of course, pass unto his babies too. Since they've been born out of his lover's body, after he impregnated her, he treats them in very similar to his partner.

In short, Christopher Bang can fill me with his babies all the times he wants and I'll gladly give up on my feminism sentiment to be a good little mother for him the rest of my life.

[princeescaluswords]

How would you personally have gone about Kira seeking help with her chaotic fox spirit if you were in charge? In the past, you've mentioned she could have sought out other older kitsune through her mom and I've also noted how you kept the sk*n w*lkers Davis horribly appropriated from Navajo/Diné culture and cosmology in two of your fics (that I've noticed) and tried to give them more respect than canon did.

Would you give more (or actual) screen time to show how this effects Kira, Noshiko and Ken? One of the things I loved about your fic with Kira is that it did some of that such as the very authentic, visceral feeling of seeing loved ones grow older/sicker and Kira being upset she lost out on so much of her life. I also liked the detail of how Kira earned two tails in a short amount of time in comparison to her mother, not because either is ~better~ than the other but just that each person's life path and the circumstances, trials and tribulations therein, are different.

Well, for me -- and I'm more than willing to discuss it with those who disagree -- the difference between employing the spiritual and cultural figures from cultures other than your own in an ethical manner and appropriating them is the respect you give the cultural context in which the figures exist in their original cultures. Yes, I have used these figures in my stories Dreadful as the Storm and the Lightning, All Our Yesterdays, and Termination Shock because I think that their appearance important to the characters I'm trying to explore, but I hope I gave those particular cultural figures the respect they deserve.

On the other hand, in my most recent work, The Sticking Place, I've excluded Shiprock entirely in favor of having Noshiko take Kira to an enclave of Kitsune in Los Angeles in order to explore both the nogitsune storyline and Kira's own predicament.

My problem with that plot in Season 5B is not that the production used indigenous cultural figures in the story, it's that their use turned out to be so shallow as to be effectively appropriation. Regardless of what they may have intended by including the sk*nwalkers -- and I'm sure they intended something because they paralleled them with the Dread Doctors in both number and inscrutability -- the execution left much to be desired. Arden Cho revealed that a lot of the scenes she shot in 5B were cut (most likely because of their terrifically bad decision to end Kira's role on the show), and I can't help but wonder if we had been able to watch those scenes, the presentation of the sk*nwalkers would have been less exploitative.

It would have been so easy to not do this. Why did Noshiko go to Shiprock rather than to her own people? We see her unloading silver bars, so it wasn't like she couldn't have flown to Japan if there were no other kitsune in California. Was she afraid? Ashamed? We observe that the sk*nwalkers were powerful, but there are other powerful individuals out there, what made them the best people to go for help? Why did they seem hostile? Is it their nature? Were they offended? If so, why did they offer help when Kira came to them again? Were they planning something else? We learned nothing of their specific natures, nothing of their motivations, nothing of their role in the greater supernatural community.

To me, there is where the disrespect lies. They were used a means to an end, something with cool visuals and vaguely menacing atmosphere without requiring anything like exploration. The production couldn't take the time to find a way to give us their names, but they did find the time for a Gratuitous Butt-Spin. :P It's unethical, and it doesn't matter to me if the original scripts went into it more deeply -- the finished product did not, and that was a choice. In my writing, I choose differently.

Now, I'm not claiming perfection, and I'm more than open to criticism of my use of the sk*nwalkers in my fiction. Indeed, if someone thinks I've botched their portrayal, I encourage you to come and tell me about it. I think that the barest minimum you can do in telling stories that explore spirituality, religion, and myth is preserve the context from which they arose with. Teen Wolf failed in this instance.

[flying-ryan]

The suite was as lavish as one could expect based on the ornate golden double door entrance that came with a private butler. Luca would have been as happy to celebrate in a field of grass as much as a penthouse suite of another glassy Dubai highrise.

The most important thing was right beside him. Finally.

The time hadn't been lost on Ryan. But no string of words could express the feeling of being ripped in half. Or wounded again to think that he could ever be anything but untrue. It was all fair enough as most things were and ultimately, the rugged pilot was a man of action, not words.

"I'm tired of all of it." Ryan stripped his worn leather flight jacket, tossing it to the floor with more frustration than he intended. "You are the only fucking thing I have ever loved."

His reddened blue eyes locked into his heart's soft brown. God fucking damn it all he'd missed his fucking boy. It wasnt enough to kiss and make up. It wasn't enough to fill him and spill apologies. He'd marry the boy a billion times over but still, it wasnt enough.

They'd talked. Joked maybe. Fantasized. But he wasn't sure either of them would ever. It didn't matter now.

He closed the short distance between their bodies and felt his own visceral reaction to the proximity of his love. Lucas scent was intoxicating. His flawless skin was almost glowing up close and Ryan felt his mouth water with the building desire to press his lips to the softest brown skin.

But he wouldn't yet.

"Luca, listen to me." He couldn't help the way he allowed their hips to press together.

Luca's face cycled emotions. He was angry. He was frustrated. He was hurt. He was also very horny. His body, his perfect fucking body responded beneath the pilot's touch. It was a dance their souls had done since the beginning of time and one they'd do for ever more but one he'd never fucking get enough of.

"My pretty baby boy." A rough finger traced a smooth, trim jaw and Ryan sucked in a quick breath when Luca twisted just right to catch the older man's thumb in his soft, wet mouth. "Yer gonnae fuckin kill me, boy."

"You can't die yet." Luca's voice was shaking. His pupils were so dark. Ryan could feel the popstars slim fingers digging into what he could reach of the pilots painted skin and their clothes began to shed.

"I'm gonna give you what you need, my boy."

The pilot's gravel voice took on a steely tone as he pointed to four different cameras, small but plainly planted to capture every inch of the decadent four postered bed in the master suite.

"I'm gonna give you what you need and every fucking body is gonna see it."

Of course he'd never exploit the love of his life. But it was a fun threat and he had every intention of spending any future nights away from his only home being able to jerk it to his pretty princess in all of his favorite positions once again.

—

Gods bless ye was all he could think as Luca whined, literally whined, begging to service his swollen, leaking husband. It wasn't that he didn't want it. There werent fucking words for how badly he needed every inch of every one of his angel's holes. But first he had to make him scream.

He had his husband bent over one edge of the massive bed and didn't bother to stifle the primal groan that ripped from his chest at the sight of the sparkling pink jeweled plug already adorning the softest, smoothest, tightest ass of his dreams.

"I want everyone to see you like this, Luc." Scarred, inked fingertips traced the prickled skin he loved so much. The boy shuddered, barely stifling a desperate plea and arching into his husband's expert touch. "This is what we are. This is who we are."

He fell to his knees with more reverence than he'd ever felt inside a church and couldn't decide if he liked the taste of Lucas smooth taint and soft, tight balls or the unholy sounds Luca was making as Ryan took his time to lick and suck on Luca's sack, pointedly ignoring the perfect, swollen dick Luca did his best to rub into the bed beneath him for some sort of relief.

"S'not as simple as sex." He traced the boys puckered hole, rounding edge of the pretty pink jewel with his crooked nose, blatantly enjoying deep inhales of his boy's most private parts. Every fuckin inch of him was godsdamned delicious.

"This." His voice was gravel and a seriousness came over him as he allowed his fingertips to rest around the metal plug. He tapped it. Luca moaned and ground against the bed again and the pilot could feel another thick bead of precum wet the tip of his hooded cock. He tapped the plug a few more times, barely beginning to find something like a rhythm that had Luca moaning and groaning something that sounded like a blessed sort of song. "This is fucking holy, baby."

He twisted the heavy plug, only teasing the puckered hole that ached for him to pull it out and replace it with his own need. But not yet.

His hands released his husband suddenly. Luca's lewd dissatisfaction made the pilot chuckle as he replaced his hand with his hard, bare cock as he folded himself around the boy's back to breathe in the smell of his perfectly styled curls and feel like their pieces had finally lined up again.

No force in any universe could have kept him from abandoning his slow burn scheming and filling Luca with every inch and every drop of everything he had to give as urgently as he possibly could if he had just taken the plug from his husband's perfect ass. He silently marveled his own self restraint when Luca quivered underneath him, arching beneath him to press every inch of smooth brown skin again Ryan's solid, tattooed body.

"I promise you, boy." He bucked his hips, rocking into Luca who cursed and whimpered for more. "We are both going to get what we need tonight."

He let his mouth get to the outer edge of Luca's shoulder. Somehow even his sweat tasted sweet. Any closer and his little weasel would wiggle out from beneath him, desperate for a burning kiss that would, once again, derail the older man's careful plan.

He bit the boy's shoulder at the same time his hips involuntarily jerked against Luca's soft, warm body again. "Get on your fookin back, boy."

–

"No more please!"

Luca's hands clung to Ryan's, still wrapped around the popstar's half hard dick. Ryan had told Luca that he intended to milk him dry before his dick ever touched him but Luca had no idea he'd cum so hard he could taste it on his lips when he opened his mouth to gasp for air.

"Take this fucking plug out and fucking fuck me god damn-"

Luca's increasingly frustrated tirade was cut short by the older man's gravelly chuckle. "You're so fooking cute when you beg for it, baby boy."

He grabbed Luca's face, forcing their eyes as he settled himself between his lover's quivering, cum-slick thighs. "Tell me, angel." He ignored his own throbbing need to finally, slowly begin to work the thick plug from Luca's tight hole. "Tell me how much you need this big thick daddy dick inside that pretty popstar hole."

He had no idea how long the boy had been wearing it. It was the first one they'd ever bought together- too keep Luca plugged full of Ryan's cum- the way it fookin should be and would be again very soon.

His inner monologue went silent at the sights and sounds of Luca's perfect pink hole stretching around the shining plug as Ryan pulled. It made the pilots dick pulse and his mouth water. The world was obsessed with Luca but they'd never seen how beautiful he could be like this. Until now.

More than one of the cameras would be able to capture a close up of the near pop when Luca's sparkling plug finally released from the boy's slick hole. The thought made Ryan's already painfully hard erection throb more.

He knew he didn't stand an ince cubes chance in hell of lasting more than five minutes once he finally got to feel his souls mate's body stretching to accommodate him, letting them be one once again. His balls ached. Every pointless load he'd sprayed into a tissue or a drain in the nights he'd been gone were nothing compared to the load that built in him now.

They both needed it.

To save face for the camera Ryan used the last of his willpower to suck Luca off for the cameras one last time, shamelessly using any combination of their spit, cum or precum to lube the pilot's thick fingers as he worked in and out of Luca at a teasing pace.

"Ry."

It was that name. The voice that said it. The emotion behind it. It broke him out of his list addled haze and their eyes met. Luca didn't have to keep begging they both needed the same thing.

"I won't last." Ryan said by way of warning but wasted no time taking his dick in his hand, stroking the thick foreskin over the precum slick head a couple of times and then lining himself up with the only place he called home.

"Don't need you to last."

Luca wrapped around him like a monkey. Suddenly he was everywhere. The smell and the feel of him blocked out everything else. Luca shuddered around his husband and it wrenched an inhuman groan from the grizzled pilot.

Stars. Heaven. Blackness. Void. He couldn't describe what happened or where he went when he finally felt the inhuman relief of release, his aching sack pumping every thick fertile drop of his seed deep into Luca's guts. Luca's slick hole pulsed around him with every throbbing rope and then the slow dribbles that Ryan made sure to leave with the deepest inside the popstar's well-claimed guts.

The beaming pride of his husband or the way the pilots own white cum took no time to spill out around his still hard cock had him ready for round two immediately.