#but also in general like. I haven't talked too much about it but I left the cosmere fandom in part because of this

[milekael]

Anyways. Side eyeing anyone who engages with a clear art reposter, specially one that deletes watermarks. This is an anime fandom there are more than enough official pictures and screencaps to go around. Value your fanartists more than some cheeky joke.

[authorhjk1]

Any chance that there will be a karina sequel for the main story where she would come back begging for more or begging to be a side chick/mistress or something?

Interlude: Training

(Karina X Ahin X Male Reader)

"What is going on here?"

You step into your living room with a frown on your face. You just came back from a morning run on the beach. Ahin was still sleeping when you left and you didn't expect her to be up already. And you definitely didn't expect to see another woman with her.

"Hi babe."

Ahin gets off the couch. You raise an eyebrow as you realize that she is wearing a long white dress. But then you remember that she had some sort of charity to attend to today.

You reluctantly lean down to kiss her back. Despite Ahin getting off on you sleeping with other women, it's weird to see her with someone you've slept with. But then again, Karina is also working with her anyways.

"Hi."

You can tell she is a little shy right now. Her outfit indicates that she must have come over right after a performance or something.

"Just give us a minute."

Ahin turned towards Karina and is now leading you into the kitchen.

"What is she doing here?"

Your girlfriend doesn't let go off your hand.

"She wants you."

"I will take her with me once I'm ready for work."

You are well aware of your promise to Ahin. No other woman in this house. And yet, you are barely able to hold yourself back. You haven't seen Karina in a couple of weeks. And it feels like she becomes more beautiful everytime you see her.

Ahin catches your impatience. A sly smile appears on her lips.

"She isn't here, just because she wants you to fuck her now."

You are confused. Judging from her outfit, you thought she had something important on her mind, having to get here immediately after her performance. And you don't know what else she would want from you.

"Karina doesn't want you to fuck her only today."

Ahin's eyes seem to tell you something, but you are still in the dark.

"Then what does she want?"

"You."

That word makes you frown.

"What? Doesn't she know we..."

"She does. The two of us talk, you know?"

"I know. So why...?"

"She-"

"I need you."

You look past Ahin. Karina is standing behind her, hands clasped in front of her body.

"I get that. But-"

"You don't."

She hesitates, before she takes a step forward, now standing next to your girlfriend.

"I need you. Really need you."

You don't get what she means. She didn't catch feelings, did she?

"I-I always get so jealous when I hear another idol talk about you. It makes me hate them. Like they are stealing something from me."

You glance at Ahin, which Karina seems to have caught.

"It's different with Ahin unnie. She is your girlfriend. You love her. I get that."

Karina's words now flow out of her, almost as if she is rapping. It seems like she held this in for a while now. You have to concentrate to be able to catch every word. Your Korean is still not perfect.

"I respected her too much to say something until now. And-And I don't even know what this is. I-I can't be in love with you, right?"

A shiver runs down your spine. Is she serious?

"I-I mean the only thing we do is having sex. And I don't even know a lot about you. And yet, I-I always get so jealous when..."

Ahin strokes Karina's shoulder to calm her down a little.

The younger of the two takes a deep breath.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, I need more of you. I'm not satisfied with only meeting you occasionally. I need you more regularly."

You can tell she is biting back an 'always'.

"Have you thought about the possibility that this isn't me, but-"

"But the sex?"

Karina shakes her head.

"I wish. I wish I could just tell you I've become a sex addict, thanks to you."

You feel oddly proud. Although you shouldn't be. If that's true, it is a little concerning.

"But it's not sex in general. It's sex with you."

"Okay."

You need a little time to digest what just happened.

Before you are able to say anything else, Ahin's voice makes you look at her.

"I-I'm willing to share."

She is obviously hesitant, but after another moment of thinking, she finally nods. Determined.

"I'm willing to share you with Karina."

"But aren't you already...?"

"Sharing you with other girls? Kind off. But no. I know you fuck other girls all the time. But you always change it up a little. It's not a problem, since you don't focus on anyone in particular."

Ahin takes Karina's hand.

"But I'm willing to make an exception."

You are quiet, waiting for her to finish. This is something you've never thought of. The fact that your girlfriend let's you sleep with other women still feels like a dream. But what is she proposing now?

"Karina sleep with you whenever and wherever she wants. Including this house. But don't expect me to just ignore the two of you, when I'm here too. When I'm here, I always come first."

Karina nods in agreement.

"Good. You can come over as much as you want. I can clear out a drawer for you in the bedroom. I doubt you would be staying in one of the guest rooms."

Ahin turns to you.

"If that's okay for you of course. The other rules still stand though. Don't have feelings for anyone but me. And don't get her pregnant."

"I doubt that anyone of us would want that."

You chuckle, but you catch Karina biting her lip.

How much of you does she really need?

"It's settled then. Since (y/n) still has to shower after his run, I'm guessing you would like to help him out?"

Karina nods eagerly. You can't help but get hard at the thought. If Karina is staying at your place regularly from now on, you wonder if every single shower you are going to take is going to turn into a threesome.

As Karina leaves you and Ahin to head towards the bathroom, you pull your girlfriend into a kiss.

"I know that this can't be easy for you."

"I would do anything to make you happy."

She kisses you back.

"What about your own happiness?"

"You don't get it, do you?"

You raise an eyebrow as Ahin laughs at you.

"All of this confirms that I'm with the best man I could ever have. Every female celebrity in this country wants you. But I'm the only one you love."

You lean down to kiss her forehead.

"I really do love you."

When you pull back, you look behind her as if you are looking after Karina.

"What if she does want more than just sex?"

"I don't know. But as long as you are loyal, I'm not really worried anyway."

"Wait. I have an idea."

When Ahin sees your mischievous grin, a devilish smile forms on her lips, while she listens to your proposal.

Karina moans as she gets woken up. Except for the blowjob she gave you in the shower yesterday, the rest of her day went on as usual. After you and Ahin picked her up from her dorm, Karina only then realized what she got herself into.

The three of you stayed up for quite a while. Despite her being a hard working dancer, she has never felt this sore before. Her thighs still feel like pudding. She can't see them, covered by the blanket, but red marks are all over them. Her pussy feels used, but in a good way. Like she got rid off all the stress she had inside of her before. Hickeys cover her entire body. Mostly her chest and thighs. But she vividly remembers Ahin, biting and sucking on her neck, while you made her impale herself on your cock. A feeling Karina will probably never forget.

It's your girlfriend's voice that finally makes her open her eyes.

"Good morning, sleepyhead. Breakfast is ready."

Before she can reply, Ahin is already gone. A little disoriented, Karina throws the blanket off her tired body. She looks around your bedroom, trying to figure out what to wear. Despite spending the night, she wasn't able to get a good look at the room. She was busy getting plowed into the mattress, while Ahin told her what a good slut she is.

Karina feels shame flowing through her veins. She already felt bad for asking Ahin to share her boyfriend. And although it was dirty talk last night, it might be what Ahin actually thinks of her.

The young girl's clothes are still downstairs. She left them there last night. For a moment, she thinks about borrowing something from Ahin, but she quickly shakes her head. She is already using her boyfriend. She can't also steal her clothes.

"There you are."

Ahin gives her a sweet smile as Karina steps into the living room. While Ahin is fully dressed, Karina is only wearing one of your shirts.

"Please. We already ate."

Ahin points at the full plate on the table.

"Where is (y/n) by the way?"

Your girlfriend chuckles.

"Why? Are you having second thoughts about this?"

"N-No!"

Karina quickly shakes her head.

"He is working. (Y/n) will be home later. Maybe around six."

As she sits down at the table, Karina glances at the clock in the kitchen. 12 pm. Was last night really this hard on her?

Karina only realizes that Ahin is standing behind her, after she finished her breakfast.

"Wait. What are you doing?"

She is too surprised to answer. Her fork in her right hand and her phone in the left.

"Don't worry about it."

Ahin has already tied Karina's legs to the chair by now.

"Would you mind taking the shirt off?"

"What? Why?"

Despite her questions, Karina finds herself doing what she is told. She feels awkward sitting naked in your living room, while Ahin is fully dressed and tying her to the chair.

"Let me make some room."

Instead of pushing the table somewhere else, Ahin takes the chair Karina is sitting on and pushes it towards the middle of the room.

"What is going on?"

Karina looks around. Her body is completely tied to the chair. The three of you came up with a safe word for her last night. Would Ahin still listen to her now?

"Look at this."

After stepping in front of her, Ahin takes something out of her pockets.

"That-That's a used condom."

"Correct. It's (y/n)'s. From last night."

"But-But I saw him cum in your mouth. Several times."

Karina feels her cheeks heating up as she says those words out loud.

"He did. But he made me spit it out."

"Why?"

"So you can have it."

"What do you mean?"

Ahin starts to open the nod she put into the condom last night.

"Open your mouth."

Her voice isn't loud or demanding. Just dominant. Just giving simple orders. And Karina, despite hesitating, does what she is told.

"Good girl."

Ahin praises her, before she holds the condom over Karina's mouth. A thick globe of your cum falls down, landing on her tongue.

"Don't swallow."

Karina doesn't move, but your taste is already lingering on her tongue. It takes her a surprising amount of self-control to not just gulp it down.

Ahin takes Karina's face into her hands, before leaning down. Her tongue invades the younger girl's mouth. Karina moans as your cum swirls around her whole mouth. Ahin slowly steals it from her and eventually stands straight again. Karina's mouth is completely empty. Only your taste remains.

With envy in her eyes, the younger girl watches how Ahin takes a big gulp, swallowing your cum.

"I expected you to put up more of a fight."

"Y-You caught me off guard."

The older one chuckles.

"That just means you don't appreciate this enough, yet."

She holds up the condom.

"Let-Let me try again."

Karina's desperate tone makes Ahin smile. She holds the condom over Karina's mouth again, slowly letting some of your cum fall onto your tongue.

"Keep it in your mouth."

To the younger one's surprise, Ahin just leaves her. She walks out of the living room, without looking back. A minute or two later, she reappears. A small pink object is lying in her hands.

"Did you swallow?"

Karina shakes her head, unable to talk with your cum in her mouth.

"Good girl."

Karina's cheeks heat up at the praise.

She feels Ahin working on her waist after she leans down. She wants to know what she is doing, but she can't move her head, without letting your cum fall out of her mouth.

A shiver runs through her as the small pink object touches her clit. The cold plastic gives her goosebumps. Karina knows what this is.

"Now, you don't have to do anything. Just sit here and enjoy yourself."

Ahin leans down, her face close to Karina's.

"But don't swallow. You are only allowed to swallow when you cum. Understood?"

After a moment, Karina hesitantly nods.

"Very good."

Ahin pats her head, before taking a step back again.

The younger girl's eyes dart down to the pink remote in her hand, which she only noticed now.

Karina's breath hitches as she sees Ahin pressing a button. The vibrator on her clit starts to do it's work. The setting is low at first. Enough to make Karina struggle to stay cool, but not enough to get her off.

She looks up at Ahin, not sure where else to look.

Her body starts to tremble, when Ahin turns it up a notch. Karina's spread thighs quiver. The urge to rub them together overwhelms her. It almost feels like your cum in her mouth becomes heavier.

"Try to breath through your nose, sweetie."

Ahin's voice drips with honey as she strokes Karina's hair.

Hidden from the younger girl's view, her finger presses the button once more.

A moan escapes Karina's lips, almost making her swallow instinctively. It's getting harder for her now. Her breathing becomes heavier. The vibration on her clit is now getting her off. She can feel herself starting to get wetter.

"Good girl."

Ahin kisses Karina's cheek.

The younger one's nostrils flare as she tries to steady her breathing. The warmth in her core starts to grow. She desperately wants to cum. She wants to feel your sticky seed flow down her throat. And yet, she tries to hold on, afraid she is going to spill something.

"You are almost there. You are doing so well."

Ahin's soothing voice isn't helping her at all. It only encourages Karina to close her eyes. She focuses on her breathing, trying to blend out the fact that she is tied to the chair, your cum filling her mouth.

Karina almost lets out a yelp as she feels Ahin's hand on her chest.

"Sweetie, you are doing such a good job."

The constant praise makes Karina moan. She feels validated. As if Ahin is telling her that it's okay to be a slut. That it's actually good. That it's a good thing Karina is addicted to another woman's boyfriend.

"If I remember correctly, you liked this a lot last night."

Karina almost squeals in pleasure as she suddenly feels Ahin's lips capture one of her nipples. She could swear that a drop of your cum is slowly running along the wall of her throat. It's slowly making it's way to her stomach. Sinful evidence of her almost failed attempt to keep her composure.

Ahin's lips and tongue feel more like torture than pleasure at this point. She switches between both nipples, giving them equal attention. Meanwhile, the vibrator on her clit makes Karina's tremble even more. She can tell her incoming orgasm isn't that far away anymore. A minute at most. Maybe. Or maybe only a couple of seconds.

Karina's nails dig into her own hand as she tries to find an outlet for her pleasure. Since they are tied to the chair, she can't hold onto something else.

Ahin delivers the final blow, when she lets her hand wander over Karina's midriff. It passes the pink vibrator and reaches her pussy.

The older girl lets it circle around her lower lips and Karina's resistance breaks. Her body trembles and shakes as she orgasms in the middle of your living room. She is almost completely silent. That last remaining functional part of her brain is doing its best to keep your cum in her mouth. It's an almost impossible task.

But Karina manages to hold on. Once her orgasm subsides, she opens her eyes. She is greeted by a smiling Ahin, who is patting her head again.

"Good girl."

Despite her desperate longing to take a big gulp, Karina waits for permission. Only then does she realize that the vibrator is off.

"You earned it. Swallow his cum."

Karina closes her eyes again, before she gladly lets your thick seed flow down her throat. She never felt so rewarded. It feels to her like your cum tastes ten times better than it usually does.

When Karina finally opens her eyes again, Ahin is holding up the condom again.

"You know the drill, sweetie."

Ahin sends you another picture as you step out out of your Ferrari. Just like the last one, it's mainly Karina, who is still tied to the chair. Her body is covered by sweat now. She looks tired and worn out.

Stepping inside your house, you hear moaning from inside the living room.

"Almost there, sweetie. You are doing good."

Your girlfriend's voice makes you smile as you walk towards it.

The scene in front of you makes you instantly hard. Karina is still bound to the chair. Her mouth is almost overflowing with your cum. You catch a couple of used condoms decorating her thighs. Her black hair is sticking to her forehead and cheeks. Meanwhile, Ahin is standing behind her, leaning over and fingering Karina to another orgasm.

You watch as she silently climaxes, her body fighting against the chair and the ropes. You wonder how many times she already came like this. It seems like Ahin just emptied the last condom in the younger girl's mouth, who is now swallowing it's former contents with a big smile on her face.

"Babe!"

Ahin sees you first. She walks over and kisses you, pulling your head down to match her hight.

"H-Hi."

You smile at Karina.

"Would you mind letting her go?"

Ahin walks back and starts working on the ropes that keep Karina in place. You see deep red marks as they come off one by one. But Karina doesn't really seem to care. Once they are off, she gets off the chair.

Her legs are shaking, but she manages to walk over to where you are standing. Her nude body presses against yours, her tits rubbing against your shirt as she looks up at you.

"I-I need your cum. Please. I really need it."

Her whines make you chuckle. It seems like it worked. To prevent Karina from catching any further feelings, you had to make her so addicted to your cum that she can't think about anything else when she sees you.

"Ride me first."

You sit down on the couch, Karina following you.

"Don't mind if I order take out. I'm starving."

Ahin walks away as if you and Karina are just going to watch a movie or something.

Instead, Karina quickly tears your pants off your body, before straddling you.

"Please cum quickly. I need it."

"You already mentioned that."

You bite your lip as Karina sinks onto your shaft. Her pussy wraps around your cock as she glides down to the base.

"Oh god!"

She moans louder than ever before today as she starts bouncing in your lap. Her tits do the same right in front of your face. You can only contain yourself for a couple of moments, before you take them into your hands. You play with them, while Karina keeps riding you.

Just as Ahin did earlier, you start sucking on her nipples. It makes Karina moan louder as she throws her hips towards yours.

"Oh god! Oh god! Oh god!"

Now that she doesn't have to keep your cum in her mouth, she can finally voice her pleasure freely.

"Please make me cum on your cock. Please!"

You place your hands on her waist and start using them to control her movements. You make her pick up the pace quickly.

Karina moans and mewls as she is forced to ride you as fast and as hard as she can. She tries her best to make you cum quickly. She tries to keep eye contact. She tries to flex her abs. She tries to tighten her walls. Anything that makes you want to blow your load into her needy mouth.

After ordering teokbokki, Ahin has come back into the living room. Without a word, she walks up to the two of you, reaching around Karina's waist.

The younger girl moans loudly as she finds herself in a similar position from last night. Ahin's hand starts to play with her clit, while she keeps bouncing on your cock. You keep your face buried in her tits, while Ahin latches onto her neck.

"Gonna cum!"

Karina closes her eyes, throwing her head back, almost headbutting Ahin, who quickly moves out of the way. Your girlfriend starts whispering dirty things into her ear again.

"Be a good slut. Cum on his cock."

She keeps rubbing the younger ones clit, while your grip on her waist increases in strength. You are going to leave marks again.

"You are now his cum dump. His cum drunk whore."

"Please!"

With a loud plea for you to cum in her mouth, Karina orgasms on top of you. Her pussy pulsates around you, her walls squeezing you again and again.

"Get off. I'm gonna cum."

Without even noticing it, Karina swallows by herself after having orgasmed. As if Ahin trained this reflex into her.

With the older girl's help, she manages to slide off of you. Your cock is drenched in her juices. Ahin leans forward and takes you into her mouth. You groan as her skilful tongue dances around your cock. She cleans you up, almost making you cum in her mouth in the process.

"Karina, open your mouth."

Like the good slut she has now been trained to be, Karina opens her mouth, sticking her tongue out. You feel Ahin's tongue swirl around your tip one last time, before you give yourself a couple of quick strokes.

Karina lets out a deep moan as she feels your warm cum hit her tongue, her mouth, her lips and parts of her face. She almost orgasms again without even touching herself. Her brain now connecting your cum with her own pleasure and orgasms.

Before she can savor your taste comfortably, Ahin captures her lips with her own. While for you it looks like they are just kissing, the two women on her knees fight a fierce battle with their tongues. Ahin leans in further and a moment later, Karina finds herself lying on the floor of your living room, Ahin on top of her.

[virtualvault]

Finish What I Started

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara  x f!reader

Summary: After being called away while he's between your thighs, Miguel comes back to finish what he started.

Warnings: SMUT, NSFW, 18+ ONLY, brief angst, oral(f receiving), fingering, brief somno, kissing, dirty talk, pet names( baby, good girl), kissing, unprotected p in v, creampie. Let me know if I missed anything

WC: 2.3k

A/N: I know reader starts off sad but don't worry, Miguel fixes it with his dick lol I was determined to make Miguel his regular dirty self, but spice it up with a bit of angst. Also, no explicit consent for somno given by reader beforehand, but I wrote it as if there is general consent within the relationship to do so. As always, feedback is encouraged and appreciated!!

For the past few months Miguel has been gone more than usual. He's home a few days then called away again and it's starting to weigh on you. He's just returned from a week away and he's finally back. He was taking care of some 'business', which he of course doesn't tell you anything about. You know it's for your own good, but sometimes it would be nice for him to open up a bit about his work. At least vent to you. You know he's under an extreme amount of stress and it would do him some good to open up about it.

But of course, he tells you he doesn't want to burden you, even though you've told him a thousand times that it wouldn't. He does have his own way of communicating, though. It's just usually through actions instead of words. Like when he holds you close and locks you into a needy kiss and you can feel the desperation and all his pent-up emotion. It lets you know he's back where he wants to be. Home with you.

Which is where you are right now. He kisses down your stomach, taking his time not only to savor you, but show you how much he's missed you. He makes it to your folds and places a few light kisses there before diving in. You let out a long sigh, reveling in the feeling you haven't gotten to indulge in for what feels like forever. He never fails to take your breath away, though. The way his tongue glides against you and prods at your entrance. You wrap your fingers in his hair, lightly dragging your fingers across his scalp and he leans closer into you, and he groans.

His hand comes up to join his mouth, and just before he can push a finger in, you hear it. That dreaded sound. A high-pitched ring accompanied by a buzz, letting you know he has to leaves you. Again. You try to put things into perspective any time he gets called away and try to find the restraint to not get on your knees and beg him not to go. You know he helps people, and he puts his life on the line for the greater good, but you can't help the sadness that blooms in your chest each time.

He doesn't say anything, just pulls his mouth from you and rests his head on your thigh, letting out an exasperated sigh. A pathetic whine falls from you lips in return. You cradle his head in your hands and hold it against you, silently pleading with him to stay. He gently pries your hands off and kisses each wrist before sitting up and tapping his watch, answering the distress call. He shares a few quick, and quiet, words with someone before leaning back down to you.

"Baby-" he starts. "I know," you respond, sounding dejected, and he looks back at you apologetically. He knows he asks a lot of you. You live your life around his work and are always left waiting for him to return. The unpredictability and the time away are a lot to deal with. You do it happily because you love him, but he knows it takes a toll on you. It takes a toll on him too, and he finds it harder and harder to leave you every time.

 He kisses your forehead and lifts your chin to meet his eyes. "I'll be back as soon as I can. I promise." He pulls you in for a kiss, then makes his way to the door.

You hear it close and are immediately overwhelmed by the emptiness. It's dark and the silence is deafening. You look over to his side of the bed and pull his pillow into your arms. Usually, you'd at least give yourself a pitiful orgasm to let out a little of the sexual frustration he left you with alongside the emotional, but you don't have it in you. You roll over and hold the pillow close. You can smell him on it and the comforting scent lulls you to sleep.

Miguel returns in the dead of night, and he shuts the door softly behind himself to avoid waking you. He was only gone a few hours, which is something of a rare occurrence. Turns out he just had to assist in a little damage control and then he was racing back home to you. Part of him was hoping you'd still be awake, but he knows that'd be unfair to expect of you. It breaks his heart to think of you curled up in bed, sad and alone, waiting up for him.

He walks into the bedroom, and he's met with a wonderful sight. There is a feeling burning hot within him at the sight of your exposed backside. He ripped the pleasure from you upon his departure and is determined to give you what you deserve. He wants to express how grateful he is that you stay by his side, giving so much to him and the relationship. That you are the most important thing to him and that he cherishes you above all else. These are things he makes an effort to tell you all the time, but right now he wants to show you.

You wake up to a pulsing heat in your core. You're on your stomach, one leg hiked up, and Miguel's pillow still held against you. Your eyes flutter open, and you attempt to roll over, but two pairs of hands hold you in place.  You let out a soft moan and you shake your head, clearing the last bit of haze as you become fully conscious. That's when you feel it. Miguel's tongue firmly, yet slowly, rolling against your exposed nub.

"Miguel?" There's a slight drowsiness to your voice. It doesn’t last long as you exclaim his name at full volume when he slips a finger inside you. "I'm here, baby." He lifts his head long enough to offer you the reassurance and flip you over, then he resumes his position between your thighs. He slips two fingers in this time. You gasp and you grab the pillow beneath your head.

"You're home," you pant out and he chuckles. "Yes. I am. There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

He brings his thumb up to your clit while he speaks to you and rubs in slow, teasing circles. "I left you all desperate for me. That wasn't very nice, was it?" He asks and you quickly shake your head 'no' as you tilt your hips up and start grinding your hips in time with his movements. "Did you touch yourself when I left?"

Again, you shake your head and let out a ragged "No," and he cocks his eyebrow. "Why not?" He asks. You don't answer as he starts moving his fingers faster and biting across the flesh of your thighs. "I bought you that wonderful little toy to keep you company when I'm away." You blush as you think about the vibrator sitting in your nightstand. It was a very thoughtful gift, and you do get a lot of use out of it, but there's no substitution for the real thing.

 "It's not the same," you moan. He lets out a pleased hum at your answer. "I want your fingers…your mouth… your cock." Your last word is punctuated by a whine as he probes deeper inside you. He groans and you see him grind his hips into the mattress. "Well, I'm happy to give it all to you, baby." He places his tongue back on your clit and before you know it, you're cumming around his fingers.

"That's it, good girl. God fucking girl," he praises, admiring the way your arousal gushes out of you and down his hand. When he slips them out of you, you pull his fingers up and into your mouth. His breath hitches as your tongue slides along each digit. When he looks up at you, you can see the desire dancing in his eyes. His kisses up your stomach, across your breast, and up your neck until his face is hovering over yours.

"That's two out of three. You gonna give me your cock?" You speak in a teasing tone, but you're dying to feel him inside you.

He chuckles. "Happily."

He sheds his clothes and settles between your thighs. "How do you want it, sweetheart? On your back? Stomach?" He asks, wanting to give it to you exactly how you want it. "Um…" you take a second to think and realize what you really want. "I want to feel your arms around me while you fuck me," you respond, looking up at him through your lashes. He nods and moves your body into position. He puts his arms under you and flips the both of you over. He plants his feet onto the mattress and wraps his arm around your waist, using it to move slide you up and down his length, effectively coating him in your slick. The friction feels wonderful, and you gasp when his tip catches on your clit.

 Once he feels he's properly lubricated, he slowly guides himself inside you. You both breath out a sigh of relief at the feeling you've both been waiting so long for. He's got one arm around your waist while the other goes to cradle the back of your head and he pulls you into a heated kiss. Your shared longing and need are apparent in your movements. You slide your tongues over each other's messily and only pull apart when you become desperate for air. Then, urgent with need, you begin grinding yourself down on to him, earning a throaty moan from the man below you.

"I've made you wait long enough, haven't I?" You nod and nip at his lower lip. "Please, Miguel. I need it so bad."

He starts slow, stretching you out deliciously and you melt around him. You drop your head to his shoulder and nuzzle into his neck as he picks up the pace. His deep, steady strokes cause pleasure to ripple over your body. You can hear his ragged breathing and the noise of your skin slapping together and it adds to the warmth building in your belly. You begin placing sloppy kisses on his neck and nipping at the flesh. That always drives him crazy, and he holds you tighter against him. He grips the back of your neck and starts pulling you down to meet his thrusts.

"Oh, god baby, you're gripping me so tight," he groans, speaking against the crown of your head. He breathes in deeply, relishing in your scent. You whine into his shoulder as you feel him fucking you at just the right angle. Pleasure pulses through your veins and you can tell you're close. So can he.

"Let go, baby. Make a mess on my cock. Wanna feel you squeeze me." You keen at his words as they vibrate against you, and it has you tumbling over the edge. He grits his teeth as your walls quiver around him and you babble out thank-yous and sweet nothings while you ride out your high.

Before you can fully come down, he rolls you over and before you know it, he's rutting into you again. He pushes your legs up by the back of your thighs and admires the way his shaft disappears inside you. "You take it so well. This pussy was made for me, wasn't it?" He brings his thumb down to circle your clit and you writhe under him.

"C'mon, say it." he brings his other hand to the back of your head and angles so you're looking at him.

"This pussy was made for you. I was made for you" you say, raggedly. He moans at your confession before wrapping his arms around you once more. You're completely enveloped by him now. By his body, his scent, and his sounds. It overwhelms your senses int the best way and you can tell you're about to succumb to the pleasure again. You wrap your arms around his shoulder, holding him to you, and run a hand through his hair. You give it a tug each time he hits that soft spot inside you and he groans at the feeling.

You gasp with each measured thrust, although they're getting sloppier, and you can tell he's close too. You'd love to cum with him, so you contract around him again and again. Now he's the one whining into your shoulder.

"I'm never leaving again. I wanna stay buried inside this pussy forever," he admits, breathily. He voice is barely above a whisper, and you think he's saying that not only to you but himself as well. You know he will inevitably leave again, but he speaks with such passion. So, you both let yourselves believe, even for just this moment, that it's true. When the words leave his mouth, you allow yourself to let go.

You arch your back and drag your nails across his skin as you let the ecstasy wash over you. It pushes him to his own release, and he presses his lips to your forehead, and you feel him twitch inside you. You pulse around him, and he stills as he spills himself inside you with a strangled moan.

He pulls away and cradles your face, looking deep into your eyes. "I know I'll have to leave again, but I will always come back to you. Always." He vows.

"And I'll always be here when you do. Always," you reply, then seal your promise with a kiss.

[beanarie]

i never wanted water once part 3

tommy is also breakup baking, prompted by my dear @sanguinarysanguinity

tw: mention of parent death, mention of child abuse

part 1

part 2

~

Gutierrez eyes him on his way out of the locker room. "Feel like no one ever sees you anymore. You coming back to the pickup game or what?"

"Oh." Tommy gives his damp hair one last rub from the towel. "I wasn't planning on it, to be honest. Too awkward."

Gutierrez frowns. "Why?"

"You know," Tommy says, wishing he didn't have to, "Eddie Diaz. I broke up with his best friend."

"Diaz hasn't shown in weeks. Probably got injured. You know how that crew is."

And that. Well. He and Eddie were friends. They became tight very quickly in a way Tommy hasn't experienced with many people. He shouldn't have thrown a connection like that away without at least trying to salvage it.

He sends a text, a polite, generic one asking about his welfare. Worst thing that can happen is Eddie tells him to fuck off and he's back where he started. He fully expects to be left on read.

He does not expect Eddie to tell him he's moving back to Texas because he's given up on his son deciding to come home. Eddie invites him to a pre-going away dinner at a bar and grill before he goes down South for a few days to scout out homes. And, no, absolutely not. But Tommy proposes getting a drink, just the two of them. Eddie very validly explains that he can't spare the time, since he's already started packing up his life and he's working overtime to save up for a down payment. Tommy gets it. He does.

The day after the dinner, Eddie calls him. "Hey, man. I know we're like two ships passing in the night, but I didn't want to leave without a proper goodbye. I still got some more shifts before I move for good, but the time will go by quick. We'll just stay on the line, okay? Keep me company while I go through my kitchen cabinets."

"It's good to hear from you," Tommy says honestly.

"So yeah." Eddie hums. "Why'd you do it?"

"Text you?" Tommy says. "I heard that-"

"Kinard," Eddie says, unamused.

"Yeah. Sorry."

"You just didn't seem the type to flee."

None of you know me as well as you thought you did, Tommy doesn't say. That's not fair to any of them. "I wasn't, in the past. Well, I tried not being that. A couple times. It didn't work out."

"Oh," Eddie says. "There it is."

"There what is?"

"You've got shit."

"Haven't we all?"

"Hey, I am not denying that." Eddie chuckles. "Do you plan on dealing with it, or letting it blow up every good thing you find until you die?"

"Jesus, Eddie."

"What's the point in mincing words? You did something dumb and destructive. What kinda friend would I be if I let that go without saying anything?"

"So what's the weather even like in El Paso? Does it ever get below 100?"

After a groan, Eddie lets Tommy talk about his shit, about Texas, parenthood, and chess clubs, for the rest of the call. Tommy can't say that he'll miss him. He missed him already and now he gets to continue doing so. All of this sucks.

Tommy tries his hand at gnocchi made with ricotta, lemon, and pepper that subsequently almost causes a fistfight during B shift.

Demetra favors him with a warm smile, taking in the large box in his hands. "Tom, right? Welcome! What's all this?"

"Tommy," he says easily, impressed she remembered his name at all. He hasn't been to this slightly dusty community center in five or six years. "Uh, this is garlic knots and mini calzones."

"Well, hey. You're even more welcome than before. Come take a seat."

December is a stupid time to rejoin group, many of the participants close to the edge from a cocktail of seasonal depression, missing dead loved ones, and generalized loneliness. Tommy knew it would be like this going in. He counted on it. Everyone will have so much to say that there likely won't be any time for him to open his mouth. He's not ready to spill. It will help to just soak in the atmosphere of unashamed honesty for a while.

At his third meeting, Cal, a slender guy in his mid twenties with a curly mohawk, keeps bringing up his mother. "She never wanted me to enlist," he says, "and now that I'm back home and struggling, she can't stop being all 'I told you so' morning, noon, and night. She never says it, but she is thinking it."

"Is she?" Tommy finds himself asking. "Or are you putting something on her that isn't there?"

"Maybe so." Cal pops one of Tommy's fried ravioli in his mouth and chews thoughtfully. "I don't know, I should probably give her a chance, think first about what she's actually saying before I react. But it's hard in the moment, you know?"

"Tommy?" Demetra says a minute later, making him feel like a kid being called on by the teacher. "How's your relationship with your mom?"

"Nonexistent. She died when I was fifteen." He crosses his ankles. "Fell asleep in the car on our way back from an away game and we couldn't wake her up. Heart attack."

Demetra frowns sympathetically. "That must've been hard for a kid to witness."

"I've seen so much worse since then. People shot in the head by machine guns, people covered in burns over most of their bodies..."

Demetra shakes her head slightly. "They weren't your mom."

He ducks his head, pressing his lips together. "True. It's just- That's not- It's not trauma. I don't fear falling asleep and not waking up."

"What do you fear?" Cal asks.

Being left, being hurt, being validated in his belief that no one will ever see him for all he is and choose to stick around. "Standard stuff, really. Clowns, taxes, drivers on the freeway."

He gets a pity laugh, a groan or two, and one outright glare. "Okay, okay." He exhales loudly. "Ending up alone by someone else's choice rather than mine."

"So you're cool with being on your own, as long as you're the one keeping everyone away," Cal says.

God, that sounds idiotic. "Yes?"

"You prefer it like this?" asks a woman about his own age wearing a green bomber jacket.

He shrugs. "It's not ideal, but as far as worst case scenarios go, it's okay. It's fine."

"It's spineless," says a gray-haired man with a Desert Storm hat.

Tommy doesn't flinch. "Yeah, that's kind of an inherent character trait. I keep thinking I got it licked, then it shows up wearing another face. Scared of my dad, so I joined the army and became someone he couldn't hurt anymore. Scared of people knowing I was gay, so I waited to come out until I was surrounded by brand new people. Scared of my boyfriend leaving, so." He pushes at the skin above his knees, kneading it. "So I left him first."

"You fall back," says Bomber Jacket. Her name is Annie or Angie. She has conflicted feelings about dating a man with kids. "It's easy to stop being scared when the thing that scared you is far away."

He hears Eddie. You just didn't seem the type to flee.

Demetra holds up a hand. Tommy's face must be doing something concerning. "No one here faults you for what you did to survive. Is it still serving you, is the question, or is that just what you're used to?"

He doesn't bake when he gets home. He drinks half the beers in his fridge and does a shockingly efficient job of cleaning his house, while drafting and deleting twenty-seven different texts. He then wakes up the next day, and goes to the pickup game.

Gutierrez scores four rebounds on him and doesn't shut up about it for the rest of their next shift. Tommy grumbles, and talks shit, and promises he won't have much to brag about next time.

[chiisana-sukima]

nine people i want to get to know better

Thank you for the tag, @slutsons-blog! Starting a new post because I'm autistic and therefore mostly only care about the "Current Obsession" question, and want to ramble excessively as usual in that one.

Last song: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Red Rescue Team: Pokemon Square because I'm currently playing Pokemon Mystery Dungeon with my daughter. Otherwise I honestly couldn't tell you. Whatever was on in my car.

Fave color: Purple

Currently watching: Star Trek Discovery

Last movie: Knives Out

Sweet/spicy/savory: Sweet, tart, salty

Relationship: married x 27 years

Last thing I googled: the word "dependent", for spelling assistance. which is a good thing because I spelled it "dependant".

Current Obsession: it's been spn since 2016. Truly we are the Hotel California of media franchises. I did recently play Disco Elysium twice in a row in quick succession, and I follow the DE tag. I can't recommend the game highly enough.... but I can feel my Special Interest-level obsession with it fading already. Spn has never faded even a tiny bit and I wonder if it ever will.

@slutsons-blog I feel after reading that you're watching spn for the first time, that I did you a bit of a disservice with my Sam takes to you before in that I mostly talked about Sam's evolution as a character as the show goes on and very little about him from the first five seasons.

Gotta be honest and tell you that although I liked both brothers all along, I was a Dean girl until the end of s6/beginning of s7, when the balance of who gets whumped the most started shifting and my subconscious suddenly decided to switch allegiances. It's not that I liked Dean any less; my id just loves a sopping wet pathetic kitten of a man who has been sexually abused, and Sam got suddenly way more kitteny and pathetic after the Cage. So I don't actually have a ton of takes on "what to love about Sam in the early seasons". I do love early seasons Sam too--she is my beautiful baby princess--but my early seasons takes are a lot more inchoate.

I count myself lucky about my id's sudden defection though, because I think we have limited control of who our blorbos are, and having Dean as a blorbo is a tough row to hoe as the later seasons go along. You know how you noticed that in s6, Dean suddenly gets a lot more assholey without apparent reason? Unfortunately he never gets better again, and in fact keeps getting worse and worse as the years go by, until by the last seasons he is openly far more abusive to their joint child(-in-an-adult body) than John was to him and Sam. It's a realistic picture of what can happen when trauma keeps piling up on people, but it's also honestly pretty distressing, especially if he's your blorbo.

If one is in it for the ship, there's some good destiel content in the later seasons, but if you're in it for Dean, you're left either 1) dealing with the fact he's got extremely significant interpersonal problems that he never gets much of anywhere on solving and that negatively impact his chosen family in profound ways, or 2) pretending he's the same character he was in s1 and Sam is the same Sam from s1, only more boring, and Dean is just trying to put up with him because he was brainwashed by John (or ig 3- something in the middle between those two. But that seldom seems to happen in practice for whatever reason). These two versions of the show are poorly compatible, and that's how the Sam girls and the Dean girls end up in isolated silos. A few people manage to live in both, but not many.

Anyway, I feel like without the context of how Sam and Dean change in the mid to late seasons, the two fics I recc'd as Sam character studies are going to seem insanely Dean-critical, so if you haven't read them yet, you might want to wait until s10. In the meantime, the general recs are fun reads and hopefully do a good job of showcasing both characters earlier on.

Tagging (but I would be a huge hypocrite if I didn't specify there's no pressure to respond, since I almost always fail at responding to tag games myself): @adihildilid @aliusfrater @quietwingsinthesky @sammygender @ardentpoop

@peanutbutterandbananasandwichs @schizosamwincester @normalbrothershow @jellybracelet.

[thehusbandoden]

You Flinch During an Argument -Amajiki Tamaki

A/n: so sorry this took so long! I had a good thing going but my power went out and it got erased </3

I do think this one's better though. Technically this is the third legitimate try <33

Edit: I'm trying out a new format for my info.. is it better or worse O.o

General info:

Wc: 1,176 words | angst to fluff/comfort | Character/s: Tamaki Amajiki

Warnings!: loneliness, snapping, flinching, a little bit of crying. Please let me know if I miss any! <3

Dabi | Hawks | Todoroki Shoto | Bakugo Katsuki | Midoriya Izuku | Shigaraki Tomura | Aizawa Shota | Amajiki Tamaki | Kirishima Eijiro | Shinso Hitoshi

The night was cold as you sleepily flipped through your journal, not wanting to write but knowing you should. The entries from the last three months have been short and filled with a dull ache of lonliness. They lacked the usual length and warmth you poured into the pages, ranting on about how sweet your timid Tamaki is and how much you adore him and his ever lasting warmth.

The rambling would go on and on, but now you wrote a paragraph or two about how your life has been 'fine' and that Tamaki has been super busy- if you wrote at all.

There was one or two that held multiple paragraphs of your frustration and not knowing who to blame- knowing that it wasn't Tamaki's fault that there weren't enough heroes to protect the innocent of your large city.

Tamaki was doing his best to protect the defenseless, and you admired that- but the dull ache that sat in the pit of your stomache couldn't go ignored much longer.

Sighing, you closed your journal, standing up from your desk to head to the living room, deciding to talk to Tamaki tonight.

~~

Four hours later Tamaki walked through the front door, tall form drained from exhaustion as he made his way inside, already stripping off his hero gear.

"Tama?" You call, poking your head out from the living room to sadly smile at your Tamaki.

"Oh. Hey y/n." Tamaki yawned, dropping both his cape and mask onto the floor as he dragged his feet towards your room, tossing his belt onto the kitchen table before moving onto taking off his gear further.

"Wait, Tamaki!" You call, stopping at the bottom of the stairs as Tamaki paused, looking back at you.

"Yes bunny?"

"Ummm.. can we talk?" You ask, smiling at the nickname Tamaki gave you the first week into your marriage- though he later admitted that he thought of it when you two were simply friends but was too shy up until that point-.

"Baby, I'm really tired.. is it important?"

"Yes.. it'll only take five to ten mintues."

"Okay baby, where do you want to talk?" Tamaki yawned.

"How about the living room? I can give you a shoulder massage while we talk if you like." You smile, causing Tamaki's eyes to shine as he smiled down at you.

"I'd like that."

~

After you were both situated you started by squirting some lotion on your hands before spreading it onto Tamaki's left shoulder, immediately noticing his many knots.

"Okay bunny, what did you want to talk about?"

"Oh.. so I know that you're working really hard and are really tired.. and I also know that we haven't had us time in a while.. so I was wondering if you could take a day or two off? Not much, just a day or two would be fine."

Tamaki was silent as you bit your lip in anticipation, hoping you didn't upset him somehow.

"Y/n.. are you serious?"

"Y-yes?"

"Do you know how many people might be dying right now? I can't just laze about spending time with you because you're feeling lonely. Why don't you go hang out with some friends?"

"T-that's not the same.."

"How so?"

"I want to spend time with you Tamaki. You know, my husband?" You scoff, starting to get annoyed.

"And I want to spend time saving people y/n, why don't you stop being sensitve and start thinking about other people?"

"But I've been holding my feelings back for months! Please! I'm just asking for a day- even a few hours is fine!"

"Y/n. No. Now if you're done I'd like to get to bed."

Jerking his shoulder away from your touch, Tamaki started standing up.

"But wait Tama-"

"No. I'm disappointed in your selfishness y/n."

"Wai-"

"Stop."

"Pl-"

"I said stop!" Tamaki hissed, turning around to face you within a second.

At the sudden movement and change of tone you flinched back, tears gathering in your eyes as you stared up at Tamaki, eyes wide.

As Tamaki glared down at you he froze as you flinched, heart immediately breaking as he saw the tears in the corners of your eyes.

"Y-y-y/n I-"

"I-it's okay Tamaki.. you don't need to say anything. I get it. I-I'll just go to bed now."

"B-but y-y/n.." Tamaki whimpered, guilt consuming him as he watched you walk away.

"Y-y/n.. I'm sorry.."

~

You quickly got in bed after hurrying up the stairs, wiping at your eyes as you clung to your pillow, staying as far away from Tamaki's side as possible.

~~

You awoke the next morning to the sun shining in your eyes.

Wincing, you turned around to feel for Tamaki, forgetting all about last night and the dreadful few months.

After feeling how cold Tamaki's side of the bed you sighed, memories coming to you in flashes as you stared at his side of the bed.

Wiping away the stray tears, you got out to get ready for a day worse than the one yesterday.

After getting dressed you made your way down stairs, deciding to get on top of your piling to-do list to help get your mind off of Tamaki.

Stepping into the kitchen, you stepped back at the sight of a lavish breakfast filled with all of your favorites spread across the newly cleaned kitchen table.

"T-Tamaki.." you whimper, looking at your beloved with tearful eyes as he guilty studied you with his indigo orbs.

"Y-y/n I-"

You interrupted Tamaki as you rushed into his arms, clutching the back of his shirt, desperate for comfort from the man you've grown to adore.

"Y/n I- I'm so so sorry." Tamaki mumbled, burying his face into your hair to mask the tears falling from his eyes.

"I forgive you Tamaki, I know you were just over worked and didn't mean to take it out on me."

"I promise you- I really didn't me an to, a-and I feel terrible about it."

"Shhh it's okay baby.. I already forgave you. We just need to reflect on what we did wrong tonight and make sure not to do it in the future. Next time, I'll wait until you're less exhausted, and you'll make sure to remind me that you're too tired, mkay?"

"O-okay.."

"Now baby.. why are you home? Don't you have work?"

"Nope, I took the next two weeks and a half off. I know that it won't make up for the months of loneliness, but I'll try to be better, I"ll take less shifts and make sure to only leave for emergencies when I'm off the clock.

"Alright, that's a good start."

"I may need today and possibly tomorrow to sleep.. but I cleaned the entire house -besides our room- and looked at your to- do list and did a few of the bigger things on there.. oh and I made us breakfast.."

"Tamaki. I love you. So, so much."

"I love you too bunny. I'm really rea-"

"Shh, I already said I forgive you. Now, let's eat!"

~~~

Series' masterlist | Tamaki's masterlist | Navigation

Tips <3

Reblogs help spread and support my work, therefore they help me immensely but any support is appreciated <33

Do not copy, repost, nor plagiarize my work. Ask before you translate or use my work in any way minus reblogging.

[chantiying]

Why do I love you?

How to choose? Take a deep breath, close your eyes, open them and then choose the image that drawn your attention

1 2 3

Before to start, sorry for any mistakes or grammar error. English is not my first language

Remember tarot is not set on stone and you can change your path whenever you want. This is for entertainment purposes

This reading is general so if it doesn't resonate with you just let it go

Pile 1

Hey! Do I really have to give you reasons to understand how much you mean to me? Every conversation we have, from the deepest to the stupidest, through those silences that have never been uncomfortable between us. You keep me grounded, we've been through so much together. Every part of you is beautiful. I know that sometimes you doubt yourself, your body, even your luck, but I love you because despite everything you have lived and you are still here, and you're still fighting. We can do anything as long as we're together, forget those who let you down, forget those who betrayed you, forget all that, because now I'm here for you. Please let me know more about you, please let me help you. Don't be afraid, I do value all the effort you have made to be here, to stay here. I love you, because in spite of all the secrets, all the problems, all the things you've never said, you're still kind, considerate, still smiling and you keep bringing happiness to others.

I want to be with you, to give you my hand, to do crazy things together, I want you to believe in yourself again, and be in the process. I love you because you are my moonlight. Don't let your thoughts destroy you, we'll find our way, we two we'll fight all the monsters and dragons that torment you

I think this pile have a special connection with the moon

Talking to the moon by Bruno Mars

Maybe it's a friend, your crush, or someone who doesn't talk to you anymore or who you lost touch with because of distance. It can also be a spiritual guide. Anyway, it seems to be someone who misses you so much and talk to the moon about you

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

Pile 2

I like spending time with you. I love you for all the witticisms you can have, for how free you seem to be, because in you I find a place to call home. I love you simply because that's what I came here for, to spend time with you, to love you, to take care of you, to help you, to fight together. You are a part of me, my fears, my insecurities, the difficult moments. The times you have seen me sad or crying, all those times you have been there for me, make me grateful for how lucky I am. Everything we've been through has only helped strengthen our relationship. I love you because you understand me even with my mood swings, because you could have left, but you've never done it. I want to have you always by my side, like my treasure. I know that you are always there for me, to advise me, to make me laugh, to go out, to forget everything, but I want you to know that I also want to be your shoulder on which you can rest, you are my hope, and I want you to find it in me too. I know you've been busy, but could we go out? Let's forget the worries even for a day, okay?

This connection feels like an old movie, like autumn season, or even like the last day of school

Indie rock music

Imperfect for you by Ariana Grande

It could be a friend, lover or relative

"And in that moment I swear we were infinite"

🎻࿔*:🍂⋆🎻࿔*:🍂

Pile 3

Why do I love you? Easy. You arrived just in time to reach out to me. Maybe I haven't told you this, but before you, I was afraid that no one would really love me, I asked so much for your arrival, I think I manifested you. I know that sometimes I can be absent, that it may seem like I don't care about anything or anyone, but you're the only exception. I love you because you have made me believe in destiny, because if it weren't for you, I don't know where I would be. You are my family, the person who calms me down when my fears seem to win. Remember that I'm there for you, even if sometimes I can't even handle my problems. I love you because you don't judge me, because my problems seem lighter when I'm with you. You make me feel strong. I love you because you take care of me, because you care about me, because I was lost until you found me.

It seems to be someone who is struggling with depression or someone who doesn't know how to externalize their emotions

It's a relief for them to have you

Pop music, maybe social gatherings?

I think it's someone who looks up to you. It may be younger than you or older, but you play the role of "mom" because of how you care about that person

🪼⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🪼⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Thank you for the support in my last (first) post. you guys are awesome

Alic (Chanty) 🪽

[fcthots]

dreamily sighing thinking about jason getting a lil jealous... like you KNOW hes the type to have really good jealousy sex. ofc hed always respect your decisions but if some guy was flirting with you and you didnt notice (me im terrible at picking up on social queues) or he saw how a guy was looking at you? ohhh he's fucking you HARD that night.

he's rough, but he's so needy it's crazy. pounding into you, leaving hickeys where he probably shouldn't, groaning and grunting and he's repeating "mine" over and over. he's telling you you're his and that only he gets to make you feel this good, no one else. he's trembling as he fucks you cause as much as it turns him on to claim you, to make you his, he really does worry about you leaving him for someone "better"

afterwards i think he'd be all needy and cuddly and he'd tell you as much as you're his, he's yours.

-🧸

The amount of cashiers that have flirted w me and I haven't noticed and have had to been dragged away from is terrifying. also just other men in general too. I like to talk.

He wasted no time after he walked inside. He scooped you up and carried you to bed, ruining your shirt in his haste to get it off.

You're splayed out beneath him with your fingers tangled in his hair. Your breathing is labored as he leaves hickeys, very visible hickeys, on your neck and around your collarbones. Eventually he makes his way down, kissing every inch of skin he can get to.

"Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine."

Each word brings him lower and lower. He makes his way to your inner thighs.

"Mine. You hear me? Mine." He punctuates the last one with a hickey to the inside of your left thigh where you know you'll feel it tomorrow when you go to walk.

His mouth finally makes its way to your clit and you thrust your hips forward. He bring one hand to your hips and forces them against the mattress in a bruising grip, using his other hand to prod at your entrance.

He removes his face and begins using his fingers to work you open.

"You're mine, all mine. Mine. No one else can make you feel this good."

Once he's satisfied, he climbs over you and aligns himself with your entrance.

"You want it, baby?" He slides his dick in, but leaves it unmoving.

You nod your head.

"Then say who you belong to."

"Mmph. Shit. You."

His pace is immediately brutal. He trembles as he thrusts.

"'s right, baby. You're mine. So good for me. My pretty baby."

----

After it's all said and done, he's the little spoon. You tell him he's yours and that you love him until he falls asleep in your arms.

[vin-taege]

i love your shower hc! anddd could you do a fwb chishiya? ly <3

For Your Benefit

Summary: Chishiya is your friend with benefits, and he may or may not have feelings for you.

Genre: fluff, smut

Note: I'm so bad at writing no strings attached content jsjs

your relationship initially starts out as Chishiya thinking he could manipulate you and use you for later

what he doesn't know is you're thinking of the exact same thing 

you struck up a "companionship" with him because you knew his wit could get you far into games

and supposedly, when the time was right, you'd drop him and never look back

all your interactions since were full of friendly-ish arguments and nagging (mostly from your side)

you haven't exactly hit his soft spot yet but he was growing to long for your presence

after a huge argument imploded between you two, mainly because of differing strategies during an eight clubs game, that's when it started 

despite his sharp tongue and your headstrongness, you found yourselves making out in his hotel room

which is unarguably the best way to diffuse the fight altogether

it was about time for you to find a way to relieve stress too

notably, there wasn't much aftercare

man gave you a glass of water then went back to bed 

the morning after, you didn't really talk about it

he didn't bring it up and you figured you wouldn't either

save yourselves from the awkward talk, that type of thing 

then after another stressful game, it happened again 

you were scavenging for food in an abandoned shop while waiting for hatter's car to come back 

after feeling a tap on your shoulder, you turned around only to find him staring at you blankly

the tips of his shoes were just about touching yours

then he pinned you to the shelf

since that incident, it was just another norm you've come to welcome in your "friendship"

expect an abundance of hungry kisses, a stark contrast to his calm demeanor 

he's surprisingly a giver, never neglecting foreplay 

he likes making you cum on his fingers at least once

generally loves seeing your thighs slicked up by your wetness 

doesn't get to eat you out much because of how frantic your fucking is

they're mostly quickies in empty hotel rooms, janitor closets, abandoned shops 

but when you finally get alone time thanks to the visa days you've saved up, his mouth never left your clit

you never left the bed that day, and half of the time, your legs were shaking

OH and he tries to be quiet as much as possible 

it's been your personal challenge to make a few moans slip from him

the best results were yielded from sloppy blowjobs and riding 

you've never seen his face when he cums

it's probably part of his ego thing to stay in control

either he buries his face in your neck or he finishes during doggystyle

over time though, you start to notice that he's slowly turning soft 

yippee, there's more than just a glass of water on your bedside table

there are also clean clothes now ! a pastry sometimes

he leaves a bath for you too

he just never cuddles

not yet 

he's also more protective of you, steering you away from Aguni and Niragi 

Kuina definitely knows what's up 

she gives you knowing looks but she doesn't say anything

you have a running joke now where she started leaving condoms around your hotel room

OK I JUST HAD ANOTHER EPIPHANY

chishiya definitely loves playing with your nipples

he likes how whiny and breathy you get

the sound of you alone makes his head swim

the first time you had slow sex was after you almost died in a seven of hearts game

some guy had wanted to sacrifice you and Chishiya tazered the shit out of him

when you went back to the Beach, he followed you into your room 

chishiya was kissing you gently, but you could feel his heart pounding in his chest

he took his time with you that night, trailing kisses all over your body and repeatedly asking if you were okay

it was early in the morning by the time you finished

you were doubly tired, but felt euphoric nonetheless 

and as you were falling asleep, you felt it

his arm wrapped around you uneasily

he was tense at first, then you shuffled a bit closer to him, a form of silent encouragement 

he held you tighter, pressing his chest against your back

and as you fell asleep you thought that maybe you could make something out of this after all

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for continuing to try and reach out to my half-sibling, even though my mom "doesn't like it"?

So, I (20F) haven't known my dad, as he left when I was too young to remember it and then he died. I don't actually know much about him, or any relatives I have on that side (as my mom won't tell me much), but I know a few names, and specifically those of my half-siblings. One, who I'm calling S, is apparently my sister. I've known about her my whole life, and have wanted to contact her in some way also for a very long time. Well, I found S on Facebook when I decided I wanted to try and find anybody the other week, and have attempted reaching out. It's gone well so far, she's been really nice, but I haven't brought up the related part because I just don't know how. I tried to look up how to go about this, and most things I find just say to "not get your hopes up" and to "ask a relative for help", so... I asked my mom if she had any idea how I should go about that, since I don't know, and she's generally better at talking with people than I am.

My mom instead blew up at me, and told me that she doesn't like that I'm trying to reach out to S, doesn't like that I want to know anything about my dad, doesn't want me doing this, doesn't like me doing this, and that "not everything is about you you're not the only one who was affected by that". When I tried to ask for a reason why she doesn't want me to, all she had to say was that "it's not fair S had a dad and you didn't", and "they never helped or reached out to me even though they knew about you". (Though, I'm unsure how unbiased this statement might be, since she's always had a tendency to blame everyone close to people who have upset her for the one persons actions)

I haven't brought it up, but quite honestly I want to keep talking to S and try to bring it up anyways, but now I'm worried I'll be an asshole for it.

On one hand, I'm an adult and I think I deserve to try at least, and I think my mom's reasons shouldn't be impacting my choices (yeah it's unfair I didn't have a dad, but that's his fault not S's? and yeah no one helped her or anything before, but why does that mean I can't even try to reach out?), but on the other... Obviously this upsets her, and I think me wanting this has crossed some sort of line with her or something?

So... I guess, what do you people out here think? Would I be an asshole if I just ignored my mom and did it anyways?? Because I'm not sure anymore... (and apologies if this is "above tumblr's paygrade" or anything)

[tokoyamisstuff]

Fragments Pt. 2/3

Homelander / GN! Reader

Ch. 2: Lab Rat

Summary: Unfortunately Homelander's powers reawake earlier than his memory of how to control them.

Warnings: Angst, mentions of HL's past, PTSD, DID, cussing, blood, unhealthy relationship dynamics, death of animals

A/N: as a little treat for you guys, this chapter got extra long (: tbh I still haven't watched the show, let me live

The following weeks passed by rather quick and uneventful - albeit it wouldn't calm down your nerves at all.

You had been on high alert for a while, fearing the worst case scenario: That whoever did this to John would come and finish the job. It did not happen in the end, so the enemy either believes him to be dead already, or was certain the lethal environment would do the rest.

What worried you right now however was the fact that nobody seemed to be searching for your acquaintance.

Locals would come to deliver supplies occasionally, and at some point you handed them a USB with a photo and the little data you knew about John. Hopefully the old - and only - shared computer in the townshall had a good enough internet connection to spread the missing person report for as many people as possible to see.

John had been joking a lot recently, about how he might've been a terrible person and people would be glad that he disappeared - but you knew deep down, he feared there might actually be some truth in his words.

One thing was sure: He could be irritating to a point where one wants to punch his pretty face in - and he's not even aware of that fact.

Over time, you noticed a lot of subtle hints to his former personality: Like his almost neurotic need for praise and attention. It seemed like he didn't even know how to simply exist by himself - for example, sometimes you came home from an expedition, and he just sat at the same spot you've left him, awaiting you almost a little too excited.

To his defense, it was hard to avoid each other in a single-room apartment. And since you had brought only the most essential things for your survival, there wasn't really that much to do either way.

Most of the day he'd follow you around, insisting that he wanted to be useful despite his condition. He was touchy - not in an indecent way, but rather starved for closeness. Always accidentally brushing his hand against yours, leaning his chin atop of your head or hugging you if he was feeling particulary happy about something.

And while hesistant at the beginning, the more you tolerated it the more he dared.

Also, his almost nonexistent empathy and lack of emotional maturity in general was infuriating. You really felt like talking to a giant toddler sometimes -but as odd as it sounds, he reacted to your scolding and listened to instructions surprisingly well.

And oh, he sure loves the sound of his own voice. His opinions unnerved you to no end, yet the way he was talking about certain topics sounded awfully like he was just repeating things someone else had drilled him to believe, without ever understanding or even caring enough to verify.

You really wondered what kind of life John had led before all of this.

Curiosity kills the cat, or so they say.

A doctor had already arrived at your remote location two days after the initial snowstorm had settled. He had complimented you for properly caring for the wounds despite your limited knowledge and ressources, and John gladly joined him in enskying you.

Since then, there wasn't much more to do than continuing treatment until his wounds would heal - which they did surprisingly fast, much to your mutual relief.

The drug John inhaled had eliminated a great portion of the Compound V in his system, but not completely. And as you could now observe first hand, the residue was able to multiply again.

That could only mean the rest of his powers would slowly but steadily return as well, right?

"NO! It burns, it burns please STOP!"

John's desolate scream made you bolt up from your sleep, instantly rushing to his side. He was experiencing nightmares very frequently, and after the past couple of tries to wake him up, you knew better than to touch him.

"John..." you whisper to not startle him, hesistantly approaching the man cowering on his bed. "It's not real. You're dreaming, you're safe. Nothing can hurt you! Follow my voice. Please, wake up..."

He was sobbing frantically, heartbrakingly even. A perfect image of misery, hugging himself in a desperate attempt to erase that awfully vivid sensation of being burned alive.

Whatever had happened to him, the suffering was imprinted so deep inside of his soul that he was forced to relive it even after alledgedly losing all memories.

You repeat the affirmating words like a mantra, tears involuntarily creeping to the rim of your eyes as well. Eventually his breaths would even out and he was able to come down to reality again, recognizing you through wettened lashes.

Shame washed over him, now feeling as if he'd drown rather than burning. He was pathetic, even without this creepy psycho shit already - a nuisance to you who had given him nothing but kindness.

"I'm sorry." His eyes darted around the room - anywhere but your face - but he was certain that you were shooting him that damn pitying look again "Didn't mean to wake you..."

John's voice was hoarse from screaming, his coughing prompting you to hand him the water on the nightstand. "No problem, really. Don't worry about it."

"You're being too naive" he mumbled, his hand lingering on yours for a bit longer than necessary as you handed him the glass. "Nursing a stranger to health...I mean, I could as well be lying about my anmnesia."

"And there I was thinking you had a way with words" you snorted, defendingly crossing your arms in front of your chest. "No offense, but you don't seem like the bright type. Besides: If you wanted to do something awful to me, you had all the time in the world and no witnesses, so..."

Eager to prove your trust, out of a whim you hopped next to him, the springs of the mattress creaking under the additional weight. Until now, despite his protest, you chose to sleep on a very uncomfortable sofa, offering him the bed since he was still not fully restored.

"You're incorrigible..." he sighed, a little taken aback by the sudden invasion of personal space, mentally adding "...but an amazing person."

"I'm not even sure if I want to remember" he tells himself rather than you, mumbling into the pillow. Whenever he tried there was a mental block, some kind of tug in his heart that felt like regaining it would cost him greatly. "Those dreams...I'm terrified to find out what they truly mean."

"Your past only defines you if you let it." Wow, that sounded way less corny in your head. "Whatever happens, you won't get rid of me that easily, I promise."

"Sounds more like a threat" he smirks, daring to shuffle a little closer.

After a while of comfortable silence between the two of you, John was the first one to look away from the ceiling, staring at you instead. He was still shaking, unable to decipher whether the lump in his throat was caused by his night terror or something else.

"...I mean you could stay here." John's voice was barely audible, as if to test your reaction first. "Better than that goddamn brick of a sofa."

You glared at him, eyes shooting daggers. "Next time we're in the field, you get a snowball right into that handsome face." He snickered at your attempt to be strict, his smugness returning already. "Oh, so you think I'm handsome, huh?"

Gosh, that man was obnoxious - and yet, even though you'd rather die than to admit, he made you jittery beyond belief. "That doesn't give you the right to do or say whatever you want, you know?"

"Didn't deny it" he winked, yet raised his hands in defense. "C'mon, I'm not trying something shady. It's just- forget it."

"...talking about incorrigible" you uttered, after looking at him dumbfounded until you finally understood. "If you feel more comfortable this way, then sure."

John nodded mutely, cracking an embarrassed smile that you couldn't help but mirror. You slid under the covers with him, the dimmed lights only worsening this awkward situation.

"Y/N?" You hqd almost dozed off already when you heard his voice again, yet it was too dark to decipher his features. "Mhh?"

"...thank you. For everything, really."

Asides from his healing factor, his heightened senses were the next thing that had returned - and they made him notice things you probably weren't even aware of yourself.

Just like right now.

That mixture of pheromones in your scent, together with an increased heartrate whenever you were close...it was unlike anything he had ever perceived, even without knowing his history he was sure of that fact.

Was this chemical reaction equal to what people called love?

And yet you never acted on those desires, for it would be terribly wrong in every way. The man next to you was in a vulnerable state no one should take advantage of. Not to mention that you didn't really know this person. He could as well be having a partner or family somewhere, and you had no intention to become a homewrecker.

So you continued reminding yourself about his negative aspects, tried to convince yourself that anyone would be feeling like this after being isolated together for so long.

Shit, can't he just hurry up and remember?

Much to your shock, you wake up entangled in both the blanket and John's embrace the next morning. He had an arm and leg wrapped around you, effectively trapping you in his hold.

Instead of freaking out or kicking him off the bed, you decide to simply close your eyes again and enjoy this blissful state. His breathing was warm against your skin, and he also seemed very peaceful in his sleep in huge contrast to usually.

After a few more minutes, his soft snores disappeared. John was confused, never having felt this well-rested in forever.

"Ah shi- I'm sorry-" before he could retract his arm, you held onto it and snuggled even closer against his chest. "Who said you could stop?"

"Oh...oh." he grinned cheekily, jawning as his head nuzzled against your neck. "Well, good morning then."

"You sure this is a good idea?" Turning to look at him, you get some messy strands of hair out of his face. "Coming with me today, I mean."

Up until now, you had avoided taking him to your laboratory, even though the two buildings were connected via a tunnel. Usually he only helped you carry stuff, do the household horribly wrong or assist you collect specimen in the wild.

But for someone who was having nightmares about a strange laboratory to come with you..."just stay here, watch a movie or something. I won't take long."

"Ugh, you don't even have any supe movies that could help me remember" he grimaced, "just some boring woke stuff."

There's no telling what this man thinks sometimes. "You just don't have any taste. Supe movies are brainless cash-cows."

"Nerd" he purrs, leading your hand to his head again, looking at you pleadint to continue massaging his scalp. Ugh, how can someone this unnerving be so great at making you do whatever he wants? "It might not be the best idea, but maybe confrontation will help me make sense out of it."

What's the worse that could happen? You've seen him having a mental breakdown several times now, and you handle it well. "...okay. Just don't complain if I make you work overtime."

"Sure thing, boss."

A quick breakfast and several discussions later, you unlock the door that led to your laboratory. Observing his reaction, you saw how his mannerism had shifted unnaturally even for his standards.

"Why are they caged in here?" You stiffened at his question, at the accusation in his tone. "What, don't tell me Mr. Conversative suddenly became an animal's rights advocate?"

No answer, instead he stared you down even more sombre. "It's not like they're locked in here forever. Climate change makes it harder for them to find food, so I take their measurements for comparison. Some I feed a while longer, and when they're strong enough they're released. I swear!"

"S-Sorry, I- fuck..." He couldn't even put his finger on why this enraged him so much, trying to tear the trapped polar fox away from his field of view.

"Hey..." you wanted to put a hand on his shoulder, but he flinched away from you. "Maybe you should go back, alright?"

Fuck it, you were right, that was a stupid idea - he'll never hear the end of it. John's head was spinning and he felt sick, thinking that maybe he should sit down...

...but when he opened his squinted eyes again, a sheer coincidence would turn out fatal: The heavy steel door, an emergency exit, it was red - looking awfully alike.

"You tricked me" he gritted, logical thinking overshadowed by flashbacks. "Huh?"

"You put me in The Bad Room again!" John's eyes were wild, furious even as he violently shook your smaller frame. "How could you?!"

He then pushed you away, sending you flying and proceeding to run in circles like a coyote in a trap.

"John..." The impact made you dizzy, any yet you tried to stay conscious with all might. "The door's open, you can leave anytime." You made the grave mistake of grabbing his wrist, wanting him to stop in his tracks or at least distract him...

...but he slammed his fist right next to your head, making a huge dent in the wall. "Don't fucking touch me, or I'll fucking kill you!"

It all happened so fast, you couldn't even tell why it went downhill from there - but when you saw his eyes gleaming red, you made a run for it.

Having listened to your gut and fleeing outside, the next thing you knew you were standing in front of a completely destroyed building.

John fell to his knees in between the rubble, covered it blood and viscera of the animals you had formerly kept inside. You inhaled sharply as his eyes found you, fighting against the urge to screech - and yet, he could hear your heart practically hammering against your chest, made out the scent of adrenaline even through the dust and smoke.

John knew that scene all too well, vivid images flashing in front of his inner eye: People running away from him, terrified...and his hands covered in blood, just like right now.

You were afraid of him - and you had every right to be. He was a dangerous freak! No wonder they've kept him locked away somewhere before.

"John!"

Your voice made him snap out of it, screaming your lungs out calling for him. Without second thought you ran straight at him, wrapping your arms around his neck despite your instinct to stay away. "Shit, John, I was worried! Are you hurt?!"

"W-what kind of question is that?!" he sobbed, tears streaming down his face that froze as soon as they dropped to the ground. "Are you dull or just insane, coming back after what you just saw?!"

"But you're the victim here!" He looked at you like a kicked puppy - if the situation wasn't so severe it would certainly be adorable. "I-I'm just glad you're alright."

You sank to the ground too, simply cradling his head against your chest. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry..."

"Hey, plea- can't breathe-" The fleeting image of his past, the lifeless body of a woman dropping to his feet flashes before his inner eye, making him finally release you from his suffocating hug.

"Come" you beckon, trying to pull him from the ground but he was too exhausted - mentally at least. He might not be affected by temperature anymore, but it was minus 50 degrees out here. "Let's go home."

Gladly your flat didn't get caught in the impact of John's breakdown, and you managed to seal the broken airlock that had connected the two buildings.

Damn, this laboratory had eaten up all of your savings - and now the whole progress was simply gone. So it was only naturally that after the first shock subsided, it was you who started crying your eyes out. Not in front of him, though - as understandable as your frustration was, he was going through something way worse right now.

The bottom line was: Both your lives were now in ruins, and he was responsible.

This whole day, John wouldn't utter a single word. Instead he shunned himself from you, staying god knows where. As you were looking out of the window before sunset, you saw him just standing there, staring at the horizon. He might not be harmed by the cold, but you were sure he was still able to freeze.

Did all of this at least make him remember something? Maybe that was exactly the problem.

"You can't ignore us forever."

John clenched his fists, looking over to the house and spotting you in the window. You shouldn't be worried for him of all people - hell, you shouldn't be near him at all!

"Heya champ, talk to me."

The voices he was hearing all evening were clearly imaginary. He was probably losing his mind...or he was insane all along, who knows?

All he knew was that he didn't want the answer.

"Oh c'mon, you're even worse than the usual guy!" His reflection on the lake was talking to him in his own voice, finally snapping. "Another sniveling pussy, obsessed with affection. Fucking pathetic."

"What the fuck do you want from me?!" he spat back at himself, or rather a part of him. "Don't you get it? I am you, but stronger - better! I've got us through The Bad Room back then, and I can help you again. You're still fighting to remember...just stop resisting and you can finally become who you're truly meant to be."

There were other, more different versions of his voice, all mixing up in his mind. Some were cussing you out, others mocking himself or drowning in self-pitying...

...and worse ones made him even more afraid of what his twisted mind would be capable of...

"Really?! You care for that bitch? God, what a fucking disappointment. Believe me, she's not the first one that'll abandon you. Eventually, you'll always ruin everything. Just like back then, when you-"

"Silence! Leave me alone!" John was slamming against his own head when you rushed outside, initially wanting to drape a blanket over his shoulders. It took you forever pleading with him to at least talk things through...

...but when he reluctantly aggreed to come inside, the voices made it clear that this wouldn't be the last he had heard of them.

"I will leave" he informed you of his decision, clutching the mug of coffee you had just handed him. Those words made your heart clench, but you always knew it was inevitable. "Why so sudden? And how?"

"Apparently I can fly. Fast." Shit, what powers doesn't he have? That's unusual, even for a supe. "So you got your memories back?"

"Nope" he pops his lips matter-of-factly, looking anywhere but your eyes. "But I think we got enough proof that I'm unstable and should be, I don't know, in an institution or something." You purse your mouth, anxiety raising in the pit of your stomach. "John..."

"Oh don't 'John' me, Y/N! I'm a fucking monster!" That was the first time he had ever raised his voice at you, slamming on the table which he instantly regretted as he saw your doe eyes widen. "S-Sorry, but...I feel like I've been lonely all my life, and for a good reason. What if I use my powers unintentionally, the next time I got a nightmare? What if I hurt you? Shit, Y/N, I could never forgive myself if that happened..."

You choked on a sob, bottom lip trembling as you simultaneously tried to find the right words without crying. "Stop talking about yourself like that. I refuse to belive you'd be able to hurt me."

"But you don't know me! Not really. Hell, I don't even know myself-"

"Oh yes I do!" you cut him off harshly, cupping both sides of his cheeks, forcing him to look at you. "You're many things, but you are not a monster. You are a kind and funny and wonderful man, and you brightened every single one of my days here ever since you stumbled into my life!"

"Y/N-" he wanted to object, but you wouldn't let him. "No matter what happened that you turned out this way, you didn't deserve any of it. If you leave, you need to promise me to never give up on yourself. You deserve to be happy, okay?"

John leaned into your touch, tears long since broken free. "Why do you care so much about someone that caused you nothing but trouble?"

"Because I'm in love with you, damn it!" you blurted out without thinking first. "Does this finally go through your thick skull, or do I need to be even more obvious?!"

That sentence alone was enough for the dam to break.

John kissed you with an urgency that was frightening, as if he needed it more than air. He had pulled you onto his lap, hands demandingly roaming your body, unwilling to ever let go. "Again" he breathed out when your lips parted, "Say it again."

"I think I'm in love with you, John." Oh, he already knew he was addicted. Another kiss, quicker and more playfull this time, smiling against your lips. "One more time."

"I love you, you blockhead!" you declared proudly, feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off your chest. And you were not the only one relieved to finally be able to act upon all those pent up emotions.

"Gosh, you have no idea how long I wanted to do this" John admitted almost a little bashful, covering your face in pecks. "I never thought you'd feel the same."

You tasted his tears on your lips, and he wiped yours away with his thumb, looking at you with so much adoration in his eyes, it made you wax in his hands. "I may have planned confess after your memories return, but now..." you pause, rubbing the back of your head as remorse hit you like a train. "I guess we'll have to figure it out as we go."

Yeah, there's truly no going back now. May as well enjoy it while it's lasting.

Another handful of weeks passed since your relationship blossomed, and you secretly hoped his past would never catch up on him again.

Since you had no way of finishing your research without the trashed equipment, it was about time to temporarily give up on this dream.

The two of you already made plans for the futue, had prepared to leave all this behind move back to build a life somewhere. He on the other hand was determined to do whatever it takes to repay and give you the chance to continue your studies...

...that was until shortly before your departure, when you had another unexpected visitor.

John stayed in bed as it was still early morning, admiring you from afar. He did not understand a single word you were exchanging with one of the locals in their native tongue, just hoping no matter what it was about, you would quickly come back into his arms.

A wide, infatuated smile stretched across his face as you briefly locked eyes, staring at him in awe. "What's the matter?" he inquired, noticing how dramatically you slammed the door shut.

"They've- hey!" you couldn't help but laugh as the carefree man pulled you back under the covers with him. "Continue, sweetheart."

"They've brought news from the village." Turning to face him, you indulged in one last kiss, selfishly fearing this would be the last tender moment you shared - way too soon. "People who claim to know who you are."

"Really?!" John softly clutched the sides of your shoulders, shivering ever so slightly. "Wha- who?!"

"A company, I think. Weird. What was the name...Vought?"

Unable to look at him due to your fear of losing him to his former life, you didn't notice his obvious distress, the way his eyes darkened at that cursed name. "They say you're some kind of superhero, just as I thought."

"No wonder with your kind of power, honestly" you continued at his lack of reaction, distracting yourself with a thoughtless banter. "So what, should I call you 'Homelander' from now on?"

Suddenly you felt a sharp pain in your back, way before the sound of something clashing could reach your ears. You couldn't even fathom what had happened until you grasped the situation: John had you slammed against the wall, his hand firmly wrapped around your throat.

"You fucking normie bitch..." He applied some pressure to your trachea, enough to be uncomfortable but not cutting off your air supply...yet. "Shit! How much time did I waste here?!"

You helplessly kicked with your legs, clawed at his relentless grip on your trachea, but to no avail. "Wha- John-" you stammered but his tone was callous, a manic smile stretching across his face. "Just said it yourself - that's Homelander for you."

A cracking sound filled the room as he moved his head from left to right, taking in your plain appearance for the first time after the fog in his brain had dissolved.

"I should crush you like the insect you are to me!" His stare was so unlike you had ever seen him before - the usually composed man full of spite and disgust. Regaining all of those terrible memories sure was agonizing, so right now he felt nothing but pure rage.

You were completely at his mercy, yet you were still so trusting, confused at max - and sympathetic. "Do you think I need your damn pity? I am the peak of evolution, a god, and you are...nothing."

Of course he could do it easily, snap your neck like a toothpick. You were aware, and it honestly felt like he was doing it already, the lack of oxygen making you see stars...

...and yet you stopped resisting, your palm instead wandering up to his cheek, using up the last ounce of strenght to say his name.

"Jo-ohn, plea...se..."

Even though his grip would not falter, his face fell at the genuine affection dripping from your voice. He seemed bewildered, desperate even, a multitude of emotions playing on his face - before his lips ultimatively crashed over yours.

In spite of all logic you reciprocated the kiss, wrapping your arms around him like you had done so many times before. But it didn't feel as familiar, as safe and right as before.

There was nothing either of you could say or do now that the illusion you both had created was scattered.

Homelander shook his head, trying to ground himself. He was done playing pretend, he decided internally, letting you down exceptionally gentle. As he headed for the exit, he turned to look at you one last time.

"You're not even worth killing."

[cpericardium]

Compilation of Megafire's Wildbow Essays (Imported)

I haven't read all of them myself, but the few I did were always worthwhile and interesting, so I thought I'd index them here for anyone who hasn't heard of them or checked them out. As I recall, these were written by Megafire as the chapters were coming out.

CHARACTERIZATION OF CAROL IN WARD

REDDIT INDEX

Chapter 3.6 

The Warden's HQ, or, Playing With Time

Chapter 4.6 

Natalie, or, Working Through Proxies

Chapter 5.9 

Power Dynamics, or, Why Carol Love(s/d) Mark

Chapter 6.3 

Trust, Safety and Control, or, General Opinion

Chapter 7.4 

A Glimmer of Hope, or, Victoria and Carol have an Actual Conversation!?

Chapter 8.2 

Meeting the Parents, or, Never mind, Carol is Back to Being Carol

Chapter 8.9 

Baby Steps, or, Carol Manages to Respect Boundaries for Once

Chapter 9.12-9.13 

Bonus Damsel Interlude, or, This Will Pay Off Later, I Promise

Chapter 10.1 

The Diner, or, I Yell a Lot

Chapter 10.y 

Bonus Chris Interlude, or, This Has Nothing to Do With Carol, I Just Really Like This One

Chapter 12.1 

Ruminating on New Wave, or, Why Mark Loves Carol

Chapter 12.2 

Carol vs Damsel, or, I Told You It'd Pay Off

Chapter 12.f 

Ryan and Cradle, or, What It Means to be Good, and, Competing Access Needs, or, Why the Dream Room is the Worst

Chapter 12.9 

The Bubble, or, Making You Feel Even Worse About Carol Getting Hurt

Chapter 14.5 

The Greenhouse, or, Carol Brought Low

Chapter 14.6 (Sort of) 

Drawing Similarities, or, What's Left for Carol

Chapter 14.7 

Chris' Crossroads, or, Screw It, I Guess I'm Talking About Chris Too Now

Chapters 14.9 + 14.10 

Her Mother's Daughter, or, What Amy Learned From Carol

Chapter 14.12 

Piecing Together Chris, or, What Do Monsters Mean?

Chapter 15.7 

Slaves to Fate, or, Predictions and Responsibility

Also Chapter 15.7 

Ultimate Agency, or, Who Is Contessa?

Chapter 16.4 

Mockeries and Funhouse Mirrors, or, Paths Not Taken

Chapter 16.y 

Attempted Therapy, or, Amy Is Not Doing Well

Chapter 17.1 

Family Issues, or, Confrontations Vis-a-Vis Parentage

Chapter 19.1 

The Curious Case of Sarah Pelham, or, A Basic Overview of the Shit That Happened to Sarah

Chapter 19.9-19.10 

The Talk, or, How To Screw Up Your Kids In One Easy Conversation

Chapter 20.e6 

Carol: Final, or, What Has Carol Learned? (Hint: Not Much)

---

PALE ANALYSIS

REDDIT INDEX

Verona and her Dad, a Transactional analysis

Why Verona's Dad is a Literal Manchild - mostly about Out on a Limb 3.1, but with references to 3.4

Adults, Parents and Children

Lucy is Verona's Only Good Parental Figure (and That's Kind Of Sad) - Leaving a Mark 4.2

Pale: Justice

The Cast Of Law And Order: Kennet - Cutting Class 6.z

Practitioner Supremacy

Boy There Are Some Real World Parallels Here - Gone Ahead 7.1

Practitioner Parenting

Regular Old Bad Parenting - Vanishing Points 8.4

Abuse

Brett is an Absolute Bastard - Shaking Hands 9.9

Avery's Games and Gimmicks

Breaking Patterns Is Hard - Dash to Pieces 11.10

Transgressive Acts

Why the Mussers are like the Spartans - Break 5

Practitioners and Others, a Binary

The Binary is a Lie! - Gone and Done It 17.x

Judging the Judiciary

What About the Judges? - Crossed With Silver 19.z

Hostile Environment

Power Plays for the Future - In Absentia 21.12

[alchemistc]

Eddie practices his arguments with Steve.

The thing is -

Here's the thing. It's not that he's expecting an argument. So far every time either one of them have been irritated with one another, or pissed off about something, they usually just, like, talk about it and shit. Healthy-like, which is -

Totally fucking weird for Eddie My-Parents-Fought-As-A-Love-Language Munson and Steve Still-Figuring-Out-Its-Okay-To-Be-Loved Harrington. It's weird, it is, and Eddie can't help but wonder if Steve is just bottling shit up until it explodes out of him and he realizes that this thing they're doing just isn't worth it anymore.

So.

So Steve does this thing, right?

This thing where he rolls his jaw and sometimes it pops and it makes Eddie want to stick a curly straw up his nose and scramble his own brains. And he's such a fucking neat freak that every time he's over, he ends up rearranging Eddie's room - not even in purpose, just. He likes to touch things, and Eddie gets it, he does, but touching things usually leads to picking things up leads to setting them back down and before Eddie's had time to look up, Steve has swept empty beer cans into the trash and lined up Eddie's models in a neat row like they're troops readying for battle and since he's like a war buff they're always lined up like a little battalion which is cute but also frustrating as hell because - because Eddie's chaos is organized and now he can't find his fucking lyric journal with the song he's very much not ready for people to see, or know about, or -

The point. The point is Eddie has been gearing up to talk to Steve about it for three days now and he's now at the stage where he practices. Works out the scenarios, muddles through possibilities, tries to anticipate every way it could go tits up.

He's never - Steve is most of his firsts, and he knows it's dumb and romantic but he'd like Steve to be all of his lasts, too, and so what if that means he's pacing the length of the trailer (all the while perfecting his Steve-voicr, which has been a tough one to nail but he feels like he's getting there. He's smarter and more eloquent than he lets on, is Steve.) and arguing with himself. Resetting, back to the start, working through a disastrous turn where Steve accuses Eddie of cheating on him (nope, reset, Steve's well aware Eddie wouldn't, cut that from the options).

"And seriously, Eddie, how could you think I'd do that shit to you, you know -."

"What the hell?"

Eddie whirls.

Mike Wheeler is standing in his living room, staring at Eddie like he's grown a second head. Which. Shit. They haven't actually, like, told anyone that they're...doing whatever it is they're doing (There's things Eddie wants to call it, but he hasn't brought them up yet because they're terrifying and super fucking telling and even though he's pretty sure he and Steve are on the same page he doesn't want to presume) so the kids don't know. No one except Robin knows, and she's states away and busy so.

"What the hell right back, Wheeler, what are you doing here?"

"I left my chem textbook here last night. You said I could come get it."

And - sure, he definitely had, but he'd sort of been staring at the hollow where Steve's neck and shoulder met and imagining biting it when he said it, so -

"So you broke into my house?"

"The door was unlocked."

"So you walked uninvited INTO MY HOUSE?" And he's maybe hamming up the annoyance as cover, but Wheeler just stares at him.

"Are you practicing breaking up with Steve?" Wheeler asks without preamble, with zero inflection, not even a quirk of his brow, and Eddie -

Flounders, is a generous term for it. Really what he does is shriek, and cackle, and then cover it up with the weirdest laugh either of them have ever heard which covers nothing at all. "What are - why would you - what makes you think - listen, Michael, you can't just break into people's homes and accuse them of - of - what exactly are you accusing me of?"

"Of having really terrible taste in men, Eddie, where's my textbook?"

"I don't fucking know, Wheeler, Steve rearranges shit all the time so who the hell knows where he would have -."

"It's probably on the bookshelf, then," Mike says, and then squints. "Are you...practicing arguing with Steve?"

"How do you even -?"

"Neither one of you is subtle."

"Shut up, Wheeler."

"If that's how you talk to Steve it's no wonder you have to practice your arguments."

"I'm not - you're infuriating."

Mike squares him with a look that reminds Eddie of when he's calculating hit points and strategizing his next move. He frowns. Sighs. "I have like ten minutes before I have to leave. Steve doesn't think you're cheating on him, so let's start from the top."

---

"The kids know," Eddie tells Steve, fingers shifting in Steve's hair, and Steve's lashes flash as he looks up from Eddie's lap. Mike had been - well, Wheeler might be half a decade younger but he'd been pretty instrumental in helping Eddie nail down the right approach to "Please stop cleaning up my messes you're ruining everything." so another non-argument is in the books, and Steve had looked confused about it but he'd agreed to try not to move shit around at least.

("I'm still cleaning up all the trash, though, you live like a goblin."

"It's hot that you know what a goblin is, baby."

"Nerd.")

"Are you...okay with that?"

"Are you?"

"I asked first."

It's not that he doesn't want to answer, it's just.

Okay he doesn't want to answer. Jesus Christ, he'd used Mike goddamn Wheeler as his Steve stand in to practice an argument that hadn't happened and he's still scared to call Steve his -

"I... don't really know. What to tell them." And that's - shit, not what he meant to say, Jesus.

"What do you mean?"

Steve crinkles his nose, and Eddie hates how goddamn cute it is, because he really wants to just, like, boop the tip of it and then suck Steve off but -

Where's Mike Wheeler when he needs him?

("If you ever tell Steve about this I'll tell Will to TPK your party for the next ten campaigns."

"Why would I tell Steve I'm helping you save your relationship?"

"Brownie points. So you can hold it over Henderson's head. Blackmail."

"I used to be terrified of you, but you're actually super lame, honestly."

"Preaching to the choir, my friend.")

"I mean, what...what do we tell them we...are?"

"Are you freaking out about calling me your boyfriend?"

"...no."

He shifts, and Eddie's fingers slip through the strands of Steve's hair as he shuffles, scoots, sits up and twists to face Eddie.

"I am, right? I mean...you want me to be?"

Eddie hasn't practiced this conversation, because - because it's presumptuous, because it felt sort of like jinxing it, because -

"Yeah. Duh. Of course I - shit. Yeah. Yes."

Steve's smile is bright and a little knowing. "I have a confession."

"I'm not sure I want to hear it."

"Trust me, you want to."

"Okay fine," Eddie tells him, eyes on Steve's hand as he slots their fingers together. Eddie hooks his pinkie along the edge of Steve's sleeve. "Twist my arm, why don't you?"

"I'm actually kind of glad they already know. I've been trying to figure out how to tell them for a while. I've been, like - creating scenarios in my head to try to figure out how they're going to take it."

There's - okay, so Eddie's thinking a lot of things, right at this moment, like how Steve apparently also creates mind-scenarios to play out before a situation happens, and how they might want to test out their creativity in other areas, actually, and that derails his whole train of thought for a moment, but "How long?"

"How long what?"

"Have you been trying to figure out how to tell them?"

Eddie's not insecure, exactly, but he is a big fan of knowing what people he cares about think of him and how often they think of him and -

"I mean, since, like, the first time I kissed you?"

Eddie is stupid crazy about Steve Harrington. He's fully fucking feral for this man, honestly, it's dumb. Absolutely ridiculous.

"I'm in love with you," Eddie tells him, and the tips of Steve's ears are pink.

"I know," he says, with a smarmy little grin because Eddie had admitted (under duress, and screw anyone who doesn't think a naked Steve Harrington in your lap is duress) he'd been obsessed with Harrison Ford for like a full year in his tweens, and Steve takes every opportunity to remind Eddie he knows.

"I'd also very much like to circle back to you creating scripts in your mind about telling the kids about us."

"Henderson's always a nightmare, I swear to god."

"We gotta teach him some humility."

"He respects you more than he respects me, you teach him."

"You gonna say it back?"

"Well not now," Steve says, and Eddie wants to bite him.

---

"I love you," Steve says, while Dustin and Mike and Max argue about who knew first.

Eddie hasn't practiced this one. "I know," he says, and Steve's brow quirks when Dustin catches the exchange and groans.

[bengiyo]

Hi, i'm a newish bl drama watcher from thailand that just started watching thai bls. i'm a bit ashamed to say that for a long time as a gay man living here i've been avoiding bl shows like the plague cuz of both the fandom reputation and of misconception from my yaoi era which i leave far behind. i'm just want to ask how did you got into watching thai bls and what were you preconception before you got into it.

Welcome to the Tumblr side of BL fandom. I'd actually like to also hear more of your experience with yaoi and BL as a gay person growing up in Thailand if you're willing to share.

For me, I'm a Black American from the Gulf Coast (the South). I grew up in a Catholic city and spent my entire adolescence in the closet. Despite having a sense of who I was as early as 8 years old, I kept most of that to myself. Because I didn't talk about it much with people, I found out most information about queer media and queerness from the internet.

I entered BL via queer cinema. I think the first explicitly gay character that I remember from TV was Marco from Degrassi: The Next Generation. There were probably others, and definitely more subtle expressions, but when I think about the oldest gay character I remember and connect to, it's Marco. I don't like counting things like shipping Shawn and Corey on Boy Meets World or Tai and Matt on Digimon for oldest gay characters. Sailor Moon can't even count because we got a censored version of it in America.

I got access to satellite television away from observing eyes around age 16 and started watching content on Logo back when they aired gay content regularly. I watched basically whatever I could late at night. It's how I saw movies like Get Real (1998), Beautiful Thing (1996), and Bent (1997). It's also how I saw Queer as Folk (2000-2005) Noah's Arc (2005-06).

After hitting adulthood I mostly got lost in video games and standard American TV for a while, but I did basically show up to any Gay Event in TV. I appreciate that Stef and Lena from The Fosters (2013-2018) were some of the only TV lesbians to survive the horror of 2016.

I watched a bunch of movies in this time, many of which appear on the Queer Cinema Syllabus I made for a hypothetical Westerner new to BL and queer cinema, which @wen-kexing-apologist has decided to try to complete.

I got into Thai BL in 2018 accidentally. I started seeing gifsets of Kongpob telling Arthit he'll make him his wife passing around Tumblr and was basically like, "Right, what's all this then?"

I had watched a few Thai gay films, mostly notably Love of Siam (2007), Bangkok Love Story (2007), How to Win at Checkers Every Time (2015), and The Blue Hour (2015), but this was the first time I was seeing a long series made available so easily from any Asian country.

From there I got into Make It Right (2016-17) and Love Sick the series (2014). Once I realized that yaoi had moved beyond manga and a few anime adaptations, I went looking for a lot more. I basically haven't left since I started in about 2016 with SOTUS.

There's my basic entry into the genre. I don't think I was as worried about fandom and worries at the time because so much of being a fan of queer cinema was a mostly-private experience for me for so long. I didn't realize that BL fans active in the space would predominantly be women or queers figuring themselves out. It took a while to adjust to that, and also to adjust my expectations of the kinds of queer stories BL distributors were willing to fund.

That being said, I tend to agree with @absolutebl that BL has a useful role in normalization for non-queer audiences who encounter it. I like cheering BL when it does things I think work really well, and also deriding it when I think it does things that are offensive to help nudge the genre and offer my perspective as a gay man.

I like the place we're at right now where there's way too much to watch for any person with other hobbies and responsibilities because it means that people can pick and choose what's to their tastes.

More often than not, I'm probably most-invested in something airing from Japan because of my melancholy nature, but there's so much variety these days that it's okay if you don't like everything. I certainly don't!

I'm glad you joined us on Tumblr and look forward to your thoughts!

[cursedappendage]

Slay the Princess Vessels in Japanese Pt 1

Part 2(Chapter IIIs)>> Part 3(Narrator, Princess, Voices)>> Part 4(TLQ, TSM, Echo)>>

LONG TEXT POST INCOMING though I guess that's normal for tumblr

Anyway I wanna geek and talk about the Japanese translations for the Chapter/Vessel names in Slay the Princess(could also do one for the voices but thats another post probably)

format will be: OG name JP Name(Romanization) [ENG Translation of JP Name](Japanese has no articles so just assume presence of "the" when you feel necessary)

OK LETS START(StP spoilers obvi)

Chapter I The Hero and the Princess 第一幕。勇者とプリンセス。(Daiichimaku. Yuusha to Purinsesu.) [Act 1. Hero and Princess]

Pretty direct translation, not much to say here(voice of the hero is also referred to as 勇者の声(Yuusha no Koe) but that's for the voices post)

Now, most of the chapters after chapter 1 have the word 乙女(otome) to refer to the Princess. The word means young woman, or maiden. This translation will use "Maiden"

Going in the order of the game's "Memories" Menu, left to right, starting with the ten Chapter 2s

Chapter II The Adversary 第二幕。戦士。(Dainimaku. Senshi.) [Act 2. Warrior.]

Only 7 out of 22 of the vessels don't have 乙女 in their names. 戦士(senshi) means soldier or warrior, referring to someone who fights on the battlefield(not necessarily belonging to an army, in contrast to 兵士heishi also meaning soldier). Pretty straightforward, I guess you could say the JP name is more focused on the fact that she fights rather than her being a rival.

Chapter II The Tower 第二幕。塔の乙女。(Dainimaku. Tou no Otome.) [Act 2. Tower Maiden.]

This can be read as "Maiden of the Tower", but as we know the "tower" part actually refers to the Princess herself(I think). Basically the same as ENG, not much to say. (Any vessels with の乙女(no Otome) can also be read as [Maiden of ___] instead of [___ Maiden])

Chapter II The Spectre 第二幕。亡霊の乙女。(Dainimaku. Bourei no Otome.) [Act 2. Ghost Maiden.]

亡霊(Bourei) means ghost, a dead person's spirit. Another one that's pretty direct. Though, the dialogue in this chapter uses the term somewhat interchangeably with 幽霊(yuurei), meaning spirits in general, and おばけ(obake) a very broad term for spirit/monster(they're a class of youkai).

Chapter II The Nightmare 第二幕。ナイトメア。(Dainimaku. Naitomea.) [Act 2. Nightmare.]

This one is just the straight up english word. Not much commentary besides the fact that i'm not entirely sure why some of them don't have "maiden" in their names.

Chapter II The Razor 第二幕。刃の乙女。(Dainimaku. Yaiba no Otome.) [Act 2. Blade Maiden.]

The JP name is a lot more obvious than "The Razor" but you kinda get the idea with both(sharp stabby stabby woman).

Imma do the Razor III & IV chapters here too cuz they are all considered part of The Razor vessel

Chapter III The Arms Race 第三幕。腕比べ。(Daisanmaku. Udekurabe.) [Act 3. Contest.]

腕比べ(Udekurabe) is contest(usually of strength/skill) and i find it funny cuz this one also has the word arm in it(腕Ude)

Chapter IV Mutually Assured Destruction 第四幕。恐怖の均衡。(Daiyonmaku. Kyoufu no Kinkou.) [Act 4. Terror Equilibrium.]

Or "Balance of Terror" but I like "Terror Equilibrium" more. I think like with the ENG name this refers to how, by the end of the chapter, both the Princess and TLQ are equals in their fight.

Haven't seen any JP streamers not take the blade in The Razor Ch 2 so I don't have the names for "No Way Out" and "The Empty Cup" ;-; I don't have the game myself so if anyone could show me any screenshots or smth of the JP title cards for these chapters i'd appreciate thank you

Chapter II The Beast 第二幕。ビースト。(Dainimaku. Biisuto.) [Act 2. Beast.]

Like the Nightmare, straight up English word

Chapter II The Witch 第二幕。卑劣な乙女。(Dainimaku. Hiretsu na Otome.) [Act 2. Foul Maiden.]

One of only 2 Princesses where an adjective is used instead of a noun. 卑劣(hiretsu) means lowly, mean, base, despicable, etc. This is basically the Witch's attitude(can be seen very clearly in our interaction with her and the fight to the death). This chapter is one of the only ones where the title differs quite a bit from the ENG name, though I also think that's what the English name is supposed to imply, rather than her being magical in some way(though she can call the roots of the wild apparently).

Chapter II The Stranger 第二幕。冷淡な乙女。(Dainimaku. Reitan na Otome.) [Act 2. Cold Maiden.]

Cold as in indifferent or apathetic. The 2nd and final adjective Princess. I'm actually unsure about why this one is named this way, as the Stranger is actually everything at once.

Chapter II The Prisoner 第二幕。囚人。(Dainimaku. Shuujin.) [Act 2. Prisoner.]

Direct translation. Another one where I'm not sure why she doesn't have "maiden" in her name, especially since both her Chapter 3s do

Chapter II The Damsel 第二幕。乙女。(Dainimaku. Otome.) [Act 2. Maiden.]

This one is interesting to me. Like most of the other names, this one has the word "maiden" in it. But here it's just "Maiden". Guess it makes sense though. This chapter we see her as just a damsel, just a maiden locked up in a cabin basement. Anywayyyyy Chapter 3s will be their own post as well as the voices Hope this was interesting for y'all, I wonder what the translations are for the other available languages.

Part 2(Chapter IIIs)>> Part 3(Narrator, Princess, Voices)>> Part 4(TLQ, TSM, Echo)>>

[erinwantstowrite]

Do you know roughly how much of chapter 15 are gonna be like content warnings or about peters child abuse? I'm trying to avoid as much of the triggering content as I can but I also want to read as much of the chapter as I safely can

If not do you know roughly where in the chapter that content is gonna be?

i will put be putting trigger warnings before the chapter with more detail (because i haven't written a particular scene yet so i don't know the specifics of what i'll need to mention), but i can give a general idea

(this will be below the cut. please take care of yourself. i will be talking about child abuse in many forms. there's four paragraphs, giving a general statement about the content, but will not be going into detail)

it's going to get very heavy. peter alludes to a lot of things he's been through with foster parents. in the first scene, peter has a physical reaction and starts apologizing, dick and wally both reassure him and have a talk about it, so peter will feel safe. peter does not notice that he even has this reaction. but it opens the door to dick having to ask questions so that he DOESN'T accidentally trigger peter, and that's most of the chapter. scene 1, and scene 3/4 (while there's not a break, this scene will feel like 2 different scenes, and the second part is where this is brought up) will be talking about the child abuse with dick, because dick asks about it

peter will not be having flashbacks or going into extreme detail, but he will be talking about it and some of the specifics with dick. he'll talk about the different foster parents he had, he'll talk about just how many people in his life died, he'll talk about the impact that it had on him, etc. he'll also be talking about various forms of child abuse, both physical and mental, from multiple foster parents. but he won't be talking about what westcott did beyond the day that peter ran away. peter is not ready to talk about the SA, so he won't be doing so. there will be a fic in the LoF series that delves into that (but again I'll say that I will not be including flashbacks nor describing in detail what happened to him. it will be talked about, peter will be having reactions and working through it, but i do not want to write the actual scene of it happening. and in that fic, which is a while from now, dick will also be talking about his own SA).

And I really, really have to mention that Peter's narration on this topic is unreliable and biased. the way that he views his trauma is not the way that he should, he still has a lot to go with healing from his past. His narration could be triggering because of how he views himself. he thinks that how he went about this was stupid, but no one around peter will think the same. dick will talk to him about this and peter's viewpoint will start to shift. but in the beginning, it's very sad to see

I hope to do this topic justice and in a way that doesn't hurt any of my readers. I have people that will look over this chapter to make sure that I do, but that responsibility falls on me. I value you all and I care about your well being. I get a lot of asks talking about how they can relate to Peter in LoF, and please know that even if I don't respond to these asks (potentially triggering topics) I see you and I hear you. I'm so sorry that you were left behind and hurt. You didn't deserve what happened to you, no one does. You are important and I'm glad you're with us today. Please take care of yourself. If you find that reading chapter 15 will be too much, I understand completely. I will be putting a summary of the chapter on my page to give an overview of what happened but without the details. It will be a clinical transcript of sorts.