#but also ik im difficult to be around a lot of the time + its better for them to have more space from me. i hope theyre having fun at least

[kalashtars]

venting in the tags yippeee

[transhoverfish]

OK SO IM LATE BUT. MORE SUB3 NEWS!!!

so a few days ago, krafton (their publisher), apparently had this like presentation of their plans over the next like 2 years. and during that they talked a bit about sub 3!

and this obviously creates a LOT of questions. not to worry, though, because unknown worlds added on to this:

im honestly not surprised by this. iirc, when below zero released they said it would be a WHILE before the next game, and they only announced this back in like... january? now, the first game's release was in january, and bz was in may, so it's definitely possible early access with be in spring of 2025. those games did not have multiplayer aspections tho! its possible we'll wait until mid 2025, and full release will likely not be until 2026. but who knows? the first game took like ten to be fully finished!!

and honestly. THANK GOD. i can't imagine any subnautica game having BATTLE PASSES or LOOT BOXES. i would have just straight up ignored this game 😭

i do wonder what these updates will entail! "many years to come" is definitely something interesting to me, because other than bug fixes... i dont remember sub or bz getting many updates post full release. is this referring to bug fixes, or is it implying that it will be in a state of early access for much longer? are they going to just keep adding new things (like the building update for sub1) and taking fandom suggestions? very interested!!

maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but i actually,,,, dont want multiplayer. now i do like bz, and these games arent really intended to be horror games, but also bz is very noticeablely less scary than sub1. and some of it i think definitely has to do with all the extra characters and dialogue. its hard to feel isolated when you know al-an and marg are nearby. so im very happy that it's optional, bc i know i will probably enjoy single player a lot more enjoyable!!

so now... SPECULATION.

so the first thing im curious about that the development team didnt mention:

"uncover the mysteries on an entirely new alien planet"

apprently we are NOT returning to 4546b. which im kind of sad about!! ik the story is very obviously done there, but it feels weird that its going to be some other planet this time around. THERE WONT BE PEEPERS!!!! (well there could be but it would be weird if some other random planet had the exact same lifeforms)

now my next immediate thought is: is this a direct continuation of below zero? my opinion is: no. probably not.

mostly because it mentions up to four players, and robin and alan are, if you look very closely, only two people. now they COULD just create two new characters to go alongside them (my fanfic brain loves the au idea of marg and ryley 🥺) but im just going to assume that with the addition of a new planet, we're going to drop the old storylines. which means no more degasi, sunbeam, aurora, or ayou sisters. we might move away from architects/precursors altogether! (my basis on this is absolutely nothing and i could be wrong, this is 100% just theorizing)

also, i imagine that it would be difficult to keep the plot the exact same with two established characters and then two new ones, depending on how this multiplayer aspect works. if its another crash, it would be a lot easier to just have the extra players die/survive, then try to work in a balancing act of one guy playing al-an.

(also i like keeping the ending of bz vauge. if they show up again, they would have to mention what happened to the rest of the architects, and i think it's much more fun if thats a mystery!)

((also also, im gonna drop a bomb on u all for a second. i actually,,, dont like al-an. i have a deeper connection to probably every single other character in bz. i think they really fumbled al's character and story and he is so incredibly bland to me. it feels like they go nowhere with how he was responsible for the kharra outbreak because the game ends immediately after he confesses! it would be nice to give him another chance, sure, but i personally dread the idea of even more al-an. sorry everyone for this horrible news))

HERE'S A CONCEPT IMAGE

i hope they bring back some cut content creatures for this!! i noticed this new area looks VERY similar to the safe shallows, and several of the fish seem to be variations of ones we've already seen (im already seeing bladderfish and hoopfish color pallettes, and the shark resmbles some early concept art for the shadow leviathan, but with the ice worm's colors...)

will there be more land areas?? is it going to entirely underwater?? more kharra?? NO DISEASE AT ALL?? AAAAAA!!!!

[youremyheaven]

this is gunna sound so weird... men make my skin crawl. Like im attracted to men but everytime i see a man, my rbf awakens and i become hyper aware of my surroundings 😭

it doesn't help that im attending an all girls college now... any advice on how to ease up pls around them? I find it hard to even want to talk to them 😭 ik all men aren't bad and i may always not be in danger (imagine that in all caps and red) but i just wanna be able behave and think like a normal person around them ( this is so much that i even can't stand strangers)

Loads of luv to you ❤

honestly i hope u meet better men!!! there are some disgusting nasty perverted pieces of shit out there who dont deserve to be around women and i completely get why u would feel repulsed by them.

i wonder if u have malefic influence, they usually struggle the most with the opposite gender

tips on how to ease up around men:

think in terms of energy. dont project anger or hatred because thats what you will see in return. i know this is very triggering and difficult for many people but you HAVE to believe in good to SEE good. despite absolutely everything that ive gone thru, i still believe that people are inherently good, kind and helpful and i see proof of it everyday.

ive had men treat me with dignity, respect and kindness in the shadiest of circumstances and ive had men be nasty to me out in the open, so it just comes down to character. just think of men as people honestly and not as hound dogs about to attack u.

2. imagine them as little boys

sometimes when men are soft or boyish with me, it reminds me of how they mustve been as kids and it warms me. i have two little boy cousins who are 12 and 6 respectively and they both adooooreeee me and want to marry me when they grow up🥺🥺🥺theyre the sweetest kids on the planet and i could never ever feel otherwise, theyre my babies. idk if this is something u can relate to but think of a little boy you're close to, how innocent and silly he is and how you could never see him as a threat or hate him and understand that grown men can be like that too.

3. how we treat people has a lot to do with how people treat us

if you have a rbf and generally act standoffish and cold/distant, then you're probably perceived as being bitchy 😬😬and nevermind men, even women probably find u intimidating or hard to approach. im only saying this because learning how to navigate social situations is 90% of adulthood and the key to personal and professional success.

learn to smile more. i know women hate being told to smile but honestly we should alllll smile more. force yourself to do it until it becomes a habit. be that person who smiles at strangers. dont u feel happy when someone smiles at you??? so in turn, be that person to others!!! <33

learn to get out of your head. most people think too much. i hate spending time with people who talk about everything from a victim pov. like yes sure u/we women, are in a position of disadvantage in many ways, historically speaking but ???? this attitude?? wont get u anywhere. (I'm speaking generally and not about you particularly)

i would say the key is to turn inward and work on yourself. read all those cliche self help books about "how to influence people" yada yada,, learn social etiquette and watch all those youtube gurus who teach soft skills. forget about men and hating them for a second and just focus on self improvement. as you change, youll see the world change with u.

just think of men as people basically. also idk if youre familiar with carl jung but i feel like you have a wounded animus. many women who grew up with an absent (emotionally or otherwise) father grow up to project all that onto men. and in turn have damaging relationships with men!!

im not a man defender and im in no way saying all men are good but i genuinely dont think its healthy to hate, thats all!!

idk if any of this is helpful sikeee but lmk if u have any updates

also lots of love to u too angel!!<3

[dazaiosamusbandages]

ik a lot of peeps said that dazais more than a demon and that he has feelings and that even though he did lots of bad things, he was a kid growing up in a bad environment and yada yada but... doesnt he feel truly demonic sometimes? hes truly a fascinating character to me, but the more i try to understand whats going on in his mind, the more dead ends i hit. its like having a puzzle in front of you and never being able to get the full picture no matter how much you rearrange it. or to put it in a more personal way, his mind feels like an abyss. its dark, cold, vast and chaotic. its very scary to me. maybe its because im around the same age as him when he was in the pm but he really feels inhuman to me. no kid should have this kind of cold and empty energy nor give the impression that they're not real, as if they somehow ended up in this world by mistake. even in the more mellow moments, it always seems like his mind is elsewhere, like three universes ahead, looking for something that's beyond human comprehension. idk, what do you think about this? TuT

sorry for the late response, i have been somewhat busy and thus haven’t had the time really to answer anything

tbh to answer this, i think i’ll try to stray closer to my own personal experiences (as well as some others that i spend time with) to be able to explain that kind of “empty” existence and then connect it back to dazai that way. i think with some parallel to the real world, it might put some of his thought processes into existence

does dazai truly feel demonic sometimes? the realistic answer would be yes—of course the demon of the port mafia would feel demonic. he, himself, doesn’t seem to believe he’s human and everything tends to confirm that. everything including his ability, which also in a way could be interpreted to take away others’ humanity as well.

spending time with a group full of a specific kind of mentally unwell people (jirai, if you’ve ever heard of it) has shown me that a lot of these people tend to dehumanize themselves in the same way you see dazai. they don’t often consider themselves good people, but that self-awareness doesn’t stop them from doing bad things.

dazai does lead a somewhat empty existence, however he does still feel emotion and pain just like anyone else—like when oda died, it was (and is still) very painful to dazai. but even still, emptiness is not a foreign thing. this same feeling of emptiness is what i think leads him to make some of those morally questionable decisions, even despite oda’s final request.

the other thing is, i feel like part of what makes dazai seem so “demonic” in the port mafia is that it gave him an environment where the intrusive thoughts would be allowed to win without an immediate repercussion.

sorry if this didn’t fully answer your question, it was pretty difficult to formulate a good response wwww i still feel like i missed a few things i wanted to talk about too, but they slipped from my mind and i can’t remember at the moment soooo

[96rh]

hey folksss!! im ser n im super hyped to get to know everyone + also bring ryu han to the dash. i have a skeleton of a profile here / an intro underneath w some quickfire plot ideas but otherwise feel free to like this and i'll hit u up to plot, or alternatively feel free to dm me first :^)

ryu han, 27, 2nd year masters' student in criminal law currently living in yellow hall with the power of necromancy, commitee member of together for daehan

only son of the ryu family, a pretty big name in the corporation world (idk what they do exactly but they'own a conglomerate so we can start there)

his family is also notorious for being in a lot of shady dealings though, of course, a paper trail is rarely left so there's never quite enough evidence to accuse them of anything

shoved into the law division of the company where his abilities manifested at 11 during a hit-and-run case (details withheld but it wasn't pretty)

linked his app above regarding his powers but tldr (tldr in a tldr ik its outrageous sorry) he can raise the undead momentarily and manipulate them

as the only one with an ability in his family his parents were super stoked until he left home when he was around 18 because he disagreed with his family's criminal actions and their moral alignments

kindaaa big news in the business world that followed with a lot of "wow he isn't like his parents maybe there's some hope left for them"

in reality, his leaving-the-family was basically orchestrated to get the public slash ryu family enemies on his side. he's still loyal to them in every way, receives money from them, is in contact with them etc but maintains a facade that he lives away on money he earned solely by himself

post-undergrad, started to intern (and still does) at a not-so-big-deal law firm (that pay for his residence, living cost etc but this is basically a paper law firm that's controlled by his family in the end. people just don't know)

takes part in a lot of cases that aren't really national news but are subtler parts of his family's plans ie the factory worker who saw something they shouldn't have getting into a truck accident, the disappearance of a secretary who questioned too much -- he "uses" his power to mitigate the fallouts of those deaths ie by telling the families he communicated with the undead, passing on last words etc but it's just all soppy stuff to get them off their trail

or he summons the undead so they can do the dirty work for him .. the feeling of blood on his hands is sort of physically and emotionally difficult to wash off

literally at university so he can make a bigger name for himself (hence his participation in student politics) and get deeper into the legal system for his parents @_@ can't really imagine a life without them nor is he willing to acknowledge how deeply evil his whole family is but he'll cross that bridge when gets to it

spoiler alert: he is never getting to that bridge

personality wise he kinda thrives off making people feel subtly uncomfortable. doesn't break eye contact when talking, makes off-handed comments that you only realise the biting undertones of five minutes after you leave the conversation, smiles a little too much and especially at the wrong times. not really likeable, not really dislikable, either

all this to say he seems like a walking paradox. you might know he renounced his family's evil ways and chose the life of a just, morally righteous lawyer -- but why does it seem like there's something inconsistently unsettling about him?

regarding how much guilt he feels about participating in his family's dirty dealings -- growing up going to church every sunday means there's a lot to grapple with in terms of religious guilt and whether he's doomed for hell but once again he will cross that bridge when he gets to it and he is never getting to it. it's much easier to pretend he doesn't feel bad and that evil is rooted in nature, not nurture.

quickfire plots include: someone who knew him before he "left" his family; someone who's understandably suspicious of him but can't seem to figure out why; alternatively someone who completely believes in his facade and thinks he's the absolute apostle of justice; ex-friends that fell apart; an ex-friend whose relationship deterotation between them hurt a pinch too much; fwbs; someone he has a soft spot for because they remind him of his younger sister (who's currently 15); someone who he leans on when he overexerts himself and ends up sick; someone who wants to use him to get to his family; someone who keeps seeing him with nosebleeds in the library and isn't sure how much more spare tissue they have left

[aesterblaster]

Ik you said to send hot takes but what about your hot takes 👀👀

NYAHAHAHA THANKS FOR ASKING

*clears throat*

IsagiRin as a ship just doesn't work for me. Odk why just. Sorry I can NOT see your vision bestie. Half of the Blue Lock ships don't work for me especially when centered around Isagi because that boy switches side characters like they're pairs of shoes. In Blue Lock one or two sus or even sweet moments doesn't really amount to much to me because everyone has them here. That doesn't automatically mean date on a riverside resturant. On the other hand I totally could see Bachira x Isagi but I just think of them as really close friends because that's what gives me the most comfort being as some of the people who really saved my life were friends. I think it would be better if Bachira had a friend first and focused on himself before getting into any big relationship. Idk I guess that's more of a personal preferance

SPEAKING OF, I hate people who write Blue Lock smut w a burning passion. I'm not even gonna hit the whole iTS IMMorAL train it just usually sucks all the fun and personality out of the chosen character and is just trying to be as gross ans shocking as possible and twist them into somehow being pervs just bc they get all hyperactive when they play soccer. Like GET THERAPY. Half the time I go to the bllk tag im just scrolling like HE WOULD NOT FUCKING SAY THAT.

The anime gets a lot of slack but like... It's very difficult to transfer things from one medium to the other especially things as philisophical as Blue Lock

Fandom interpretations of Shidou are usually weirdly ooc because they wittle him down to like how cray cray he is or whatever and completely ignore for example, his respect for people who are also creative and out of the box or his ability to deal with lonliness and being othered by everyone

Characters that shouldn't be hated nearly as much as they are: NOA NOEL. You heard it here folks. I genuinely believe he's just trying his best and honestly most coaches would've asked to drop half the player he has to deal with by now like cmon you got an emo gymrat who was forced to become like you, you got a playee whos EYESIGHT IS FAILING but will literally start falling apart if you bench him, you got..kaiser and his lapdog ass cronie who dont listen to your plans at all, you got an entire rift between new and old players. Like how do you even fix that when you can't send people home (i think)? He gives good advice sometimes ngl and they're winning games so like...

Cont. Sure he isn't as funny or amusing to read as Lavinho or Chris and he isn't as open as Snuffy but DAMN IT he's doing his job ok? And all the dad son moments between him and Isagi are to die for.

Naruhayas little miniarc is honestly has the saddest backstory implications to me. THERE I SAID IT. Rin's is indeed tragic and heartwrenching but can be fixed, he can move on and heal if he so chooses. Bachira...ok nvm bachira's ties with it. Hiori's is an absolute tear jerker but he is still in Blue Lock. He still has some time to grow. Naruhaya? There's nothing that could be done to fix his position or bring him up or cut him from the weights dragging him down. We see so many characters in the Blue Lock universe rise from their poverty through soccer but DAMN IT NARUHAYA EXISTED TO SHOW THAT THAT IS A LUCKY AND FEW 2 PERCENT. HE PROBABLY HAD TO GIVE UP ON EVERY SINGLE ONE OF HIS DREAMS JUST TO SUPPORT THE VERY FAMILY HE LOVES SO MUCH. HIS PARENTS LITERALLY DIED. DO YOU UNDERSTAND? BACHIRA STILL HAS HIS MOM, RIN AT LEAST HAS HOPES OF RECONCILING WITH HIS BROTHER AND HIORI MIGHT ONE DAY SAFELY CUT HIS PARENTS OFF BUT HIS ARE IMPLIED TO BE GOOD PEOPLE JUST..STRAIGHT UP DEAD. AND THE WAY HE STOLE FOOD ALL THE TIME???? IM GOING INSANE.

Ok thats all for now LMAO

[kaycode1999]

hey!! Ik you’re probs a bit busy w these so no rush, but I’d like to request a match up for either mha or kny. My pronouns are she/her and I’m a female, either gender is fine by me!

For personality, Im have the ISFP type. I’m quite introverted, I hate speaking to strangers, or people in general. Crowds kinda scare me as well. I’m pretty shy and meeting new people is especially difficult for me. Im pretty funny (not my own words) and I love to draw, read, write, or anything with creativity tbh. I’m practically married to my Spotify, there’s barely any time you won’t see me without headphones. I get decent grades, but I do tend to get distracted very easily and I zone out a ton! I’m pretty outgoing once you get to know me, and I’m definitely a bit touch and attention starved. My aesthetic is sorta tomboyish ig. I’ve been told multiple times that I dress like I’m homeless lol. My favourite colour is navy blue.i hardly ever wear make up also, I’m just too lazy

I have shoulder length hair that’s sooo thick. It takes forever to brush and I can’t even shower properly w it. I like to dye my hair, and right now it’s purple at the ends with my natural roots (brown). My favourite season is fall just bc where I am we get stormy autumn’s, and I LOVE stormy weather. I usually go outside when it’s raining as well, I adore it.id definitely consider myself an insomniac as well, staying up to ungodly hours of the morning on the days before tests has proven that. It’s nonstop, I can’t remember a single night I went to bed before midnight. This means I also have hella dark under eyes 😭

thx for taking the time to look at this!

(also sry for the bad set up of the request, I rambled)

Demon Slayer/ Kimetsu no Yaiba

I match you with

Mitsuri Kanroji

Mitsuri can be nervous around crowds or people she doesn't know too, or at least she was. I know I saw either a fanart or a manga panel of her hiding in Rengoku’s haori somewhere and it was adorable. So she understands

I think she's gotten more comfortable and able to handle dealing with strangers better now, so she'll take the lead and keep the pressure off of you

She loves your humor and thinks you're hilarious

I think she's creative too, but of your interests she probably shares reading the most

She will give you all the affection you want😂 she's a sweetheart like that

She's not the kind to mind if you don't wear makeup or if dress “tomboyish” she just loves you for you

She'll love to help you take care of your hair, she knows a few things from taking care of her own long thick hair

She's has to stay up all night dealing with demons a lot herself, so she might be up to be there with you anyway

My Hero Academia

I match you with

Dabi/ Touya Todoroki

By nature he's pretty introverted and does not socialize…. Like at all

Your humor was surprising to him, as in he didn't really have anything to genuinely laugh about before you. Now he laughs all the time because of you. *its a small chuckle or maybe even a smirk/smile but a win is a win*

He's more destructive in nature, not creative, but I think over time your creativity rubs off on him

He's attention and affection starved too, unfortunately that means that at first he isn't used to it. But eventually you both get comfortable with each other and giving and receiving affection

He dresses a lot like you so win-win, you get to swap clothes

We've all seen the jokes about him being a hairstylist correct?😂 It would be in a different way than he normally does *through fire* but he would help you with your hair too. He really likes you're colorful hair

He likes rainy/stormy weather as well, so if you go out in it he will definitely join you

Does he ever sleep anyway?😭😭 He’ll more than likely be up along with you

But you guys can have your own special thing when that happens like playing cards or going for walks. Nice quality time

I truly believe Dabi could be good if given the love and affection he deserves so being with you just automatically makes him better

[my-silly-rabbit]

general blog stuff: 💜 hello! names gems! I'm 25 and have brain rot for this man. im sorry im like this. I have no excuse. it's the British accent and Mathew Lillard for me. 💜 I'm rather picky about my man. Dave Miller, or as i like to call him "nft monkey", will not be on my blog unless someone draws him very well and to my liking. 💜I'm also selective on his weight. I'm aware that it is canon that he was a bigger man but il be honest, I dont trust Scott or a lot of fans with weight in relation to him being a deplorable murderer man. as a 400+ ib person myself, I dont feel comfortable with my own weight on such a man even though I love him dearly. also, as a big person myself, the internet has sorta tainted seeing plus-size fictional characters in a pos light due to fetishes and junk. idk who to trust with my size or not. especially on a character I care so much about. . + I admit I have a horrid taste that's been tainted by Tumblr sexy men. I'm sorry. I love plus-size Afton art in general but my self-ship blog will most likely not have it for my own body comfort and tastes. its not a 100% no but it depends. self shipping involves a connection to art and i just dont feel it for a lot of plus-size art. I do get the gender pos feels though. i love seeing him, its just more my own insecurities with people online involving weight. 💜please be nice. ik people aren't fond of Afton fans, I've had my good share of stinkers. he is a comfort character on top of a f/o so please just. if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. tags:

💜🐇 = William

💛 🎈 = Bonbon

🍰 💃 = Ms. Afton

🧰🐻 = Henry

self-insert: 💜 name: Bonbon Benson 💜 age: 25+ (it changes around but always mid 20s - late 30's) gender/pronouns: nonbinary any but mainly she/her bio down below VVVVVVVVVV

Bio: as a child, bonbon wasn't very well cared for. her parents were poor and always fought. this caused Bonbon to hide away in themselves and try to not be a burden. they eventually developed a love for robotics and wanted to further that career but their homelife and mid to high-functioning autism made that difficult. her parents eventually divorced after the birth of her sibling, Molly, and stuff started to look a bit better. but that didn't last long. bonbon couldn't manage to finish high school due to her anti-social behavior, lack of friends, poor home life, and poor grades in most classes outside of math and science. She is 25+ now and still needs to get her GED but living with her distant dad and no friends, it's very hard to think. its not the best environment to do schoolwork. never was. after the divorce, her mother gained a large sum of money and this caused her sibling to be rather spoiled, which their mother isn't fond of so to help her branch out, she let her have visits with Bonbon and their dad.....aka just bonbon.

(pic of molly. picrew link: here) there are not many places a kid would enjoy in Hurricane, Utah. molly only wanted to go to the library but Bonbon felt like their little sister deserved someplace better. then she saw an ad for Freddy's. idk which Freddy's, they change with the timelines, vers of William etc but it's usually between Fred Bears and Freddy's JUST opening. early enough for Bonbon to still see William use the Springbonnie suit at least a few times before showcasing the band. once they got there, bonbon fell in love. the lights, the games, the animatronics....everything. they never had anything like it as a child. they felt so happy just being able to see something so lively.....and yet it brought Molly no joy. She found it loud, crowded, and annoying.

bonbon couldn't understand. She was a kid??? why did she like it so much??? it infuriated Bonbon...but at least she wasn't alone. after a few visits, the founders took notice of the hyper adult adoring their pizzeria with no child in sight (Molly stayed cooped in one of the booths the whole time). and William eventually started striking up conversations. bonbon is a....hyper sort. easy to read and William found it refreshing. As much as she adores what he does, she isn't afraid to say how she feels. just barely a filter on this little lady. idk what more to say lol. they become silly murder partners, bonding over how much kids take that adults also enjoy and their lost youths

either ms afton is a few years already dead or in their silly polycule.

[trapton]

hows ur portrayal?? hows your portrayal???? do i even NEED to speak about my opinion of your portrayal. your will quite literally drives me insane in the best way possible. have i stated the fact that i was entirely indifferent about william afton before i stumbled upon you + your portrayal of him because its true. you singlehandedly made me so incredibly mentally ill about this man its not even funny. hes sosososo interesting i absolutely adore the way you interpret him i want to examine him under a microscope. i can tell youve put so much thought into him as a person past what most people in the community do and i just. i dont know how to explain it. ive said it before this blog right here is literally the reason i joined the tumblr rpc bc i was just . i dunno i was just in awe. every thread i have with ur will ( and all ur other muses ofc, ur will just drives me insane in a Very Specific Way that is difficult to replicate ) is sososo special to me. i specifically love our pair of fucked up guys i will actually never be over them.

tl;dr im picking up your william by the scruff of his neck and shaking him like a dog toy he is everything to me. i will forever be this fucked up little mans #1 fan i enjoy him so so much. thank you for making him the way that he is.

🔧 「   ASK MEME :   HOW’S MY PORTRAYAL?   」 / @nineliabilityrisk !

i have to restrain myself so i don't end up hoarding this ask, because i ask for this expecting critique &. ofc some compliments but i'm notoriously bad at taking them, &. like! i always just end up complimenting the sender to deflect. so i'll try to do better at that, but i have to just say that i adore you &. your original characters are rich &. unique &. your canons are so thought through &. interesting, &. i am not doing you justice with this explanation or these compliments but you've just been such a good friend &. a lovely partner in writing &. i always adore getting replies / messages / memes or anything else from you. (also including seeing your posts). &. your smut writing (&. in general) is masterful it's art it is LOVELY. for being young you're just so advanced in your writing. ANYWAY

first off i have to give you a formal apology for making you mentally ill about willy. it's a terrible &. speaking from experience i hardly needed to add to my list. though, it makes me blush that i could take a character you were indifferent about &. make you like them &. see them differently. there's a lot of ways to interpret will / fill in his blanks, &. i admit i may have (definitely have) some hot takes, aka him not building spring bon or his design or art hobbies, though i stand by him. like, honestly i had so much in my mind about him i needed to make a separate blog for the first time in years. he just took up all of my brain-cells. it just means so much to me to know you like how i see him, &. that you think he's interesting???? to the point where you're here bc you saw one of my posts / my blog? IT'S TOO MUCH FOR MY LITTLE MIND TO WRAP AROUND <3 &. i could not be more humbled that you think that of me, i really truly appreciate all of our threads so much &. your writing is just so lovely &. i fucking adore everything we've done together. also please if you wanna ask me anything about him hmu <3 i'll talk all day if you need ahah. (ik ik sometimes i forget tumblr IM's exist) but IUHYGTFRDEDFGHUJIK YOU'RE TOO GOOD / NICE TO ME. thank you thank you thank you.. <3

[phagodyke]

ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.

[cutemeat]

3, 7, and 10!

3. what are your top 3 favorite episodes?

I have many many manyyyy faves (and also got this question a bunch, which excites me so dont worry ab that) so im gonna do different themes for my top 3's...

my top 3 fave eps of eps that I've rewatched the most are: The Gang Gets Romantic, The Gang Group Dates, and The Gang Dances Their Asses Off (with Dennis Reynolds: An Erotic Life as an honorable mention lol)

7. what’s something that we haven’t seen in the show yet that you’d like to see?

i clearly wanna see some resolution or 'get together' scene ONSCREEN (cuz i have argued previously that they HAVE already banged offscreen in Dennis Gets Divorced) but I'd like to see, at the very least, going from writing Macdennis as subtext to making that the overt text. Which, in their defense, they've started doing since s12 ... but I just hope they execute the culmination of the storyline they started in s12/s13 in a way that.. does not suck ass. and i'm usually willing to give rcg a lot of leeway about this particular thing cuz like. theyre str8 they dont know any better LOL. but yeah i wanna see mac and dennis kiss, fuck, date, idc! something!

other things i'd like to see: i'd like to see charlie getting some cathartic 'snapping' arc where he goes back into the badroom and in the vents and the gang cant get him out cuz hes rlly emotional (like as a result of his dad dying or smth) and he basically just snaps, Phantom of the Opera style but he'd be like the Phantom of Paddy's... and maybe this is all while Dee's trying to host an event of whatever kind and so hes just lurking around the whole time trying to sabotage the event... maybe he kidnaps someone LOL thatd be ccool

i also would LOVE to see waitress becoming a more recurring character, esp to team up with Dee. I'd ideally like to see them move IN together n be a duo, but I'll take what I can get. I also just wanna see Dee going crazy. I kinda want Dennis and Dee to have a swap where DEE is the angry, spiteful one and Dennis is just sad and pathetic at his lowest yknow? LOL. Like I think they could easily do this as well, and it seemed to me like they experimented with that kind of dynamic in Gets New Wheels. and lastly, PUT DEE IN THE DUSTER!!!!

i'd like to see more of Mac's ACTUAL life... cuz he has been TALKING about doing all this shit the past couple seasons but we dont get to see what he's ACTUALLY getting up to. So sorta a Mac's Double Life ep but done much better LOL. I just want some character exploration with Mac cuz they seem to be struggling with what to do with Mac since he came out. And I know part of that also has to do with Rob wanting to have a gay man in the writers room but (so far, as far as I know) not being able to get any lol.

I'd also like to see some shit about whatever is going on with Frank that we found out he has a serious, terminal disease in s11... but ik a lot of ppl have said that before me, and for good reason its like.. wtf is going on there LOL

10. who’s your least favorite character?

shit... good question.... yknow i'll just use this as an opportunity to say i hate the way they wrote fat mac. it just felt like they squandered his potential. the way they executed the joke itself was just reeking of rcg's own body image issues which makes it just uncomfortable/not funny if you dont ALSO have rcg's body issues LOL. like i think if they'd done a slower progression over time where the characters just Look Their Age as they age would be a good subversion and probably not too difficult to maintain LMAO. and if Rob wanted Mac's part in that to be gaining some weight for a season/a couple seasons that could've been subversive in itself and done well. But I think bc they made it a seasonal gimmick it suffered for that. So I'm not really answering the question i Know but KJDFGNKDJ tbh i loooove the cast of characters we've become familiar with I think they're all great

[princessofxianle]

so ive been following your fx's backstory au for a while, and ik you haven't mentioned this for now so if it's a huge spoiler or something you haven't worked out yet then feel free to ignore this, but how does jian lan and her relationship with fx fit into your au seeing as that is one of the two positive relationships canon-vise we know feng xin had with a woman?

and on the same note, what about fx's relationship with xl's parents? they both seem fond of him in the canon, queen more so than the king, so im super curious to see how that would be involved in your au. will there be more on the mutual animosity between qi rong and feng xin as well? are fx and his father the only ones with ties to the royal family, and does fx's sister have any strong feelings for them or any sort of connection?

side characters are soooo fun to play around with, especially when it comes to characters like fx who were barely given backstories at all!! if you ever decide to publish this as a fic, i will be the first in line to read it!!

for reference: | more asks (1) | more asks (2) | meet the OC's | #fx backstory au | THE FIC (ao3) |

Ohohohoh yay more questions!!! (this was totally not sitting in my inbox for 6 months... to the day 😅)

1. Jian Lan and Feng Xin <3

Jian Lan is the first female relationship Feng Xin attempts to navigate on his own. I think he’s basically an overgrown teenager trying to deal with his first crush. It doesn’t start as one, but through their talks it grows that way fast. To be honest I don’t add too much to Jian Lan’s canon backstory (at least for the moment) since I think a lot of it is self-explanatory. Feng Xin did indeed love her. And she still sent him away. We don’t know the reason why, but I think its mostly because of his relationship with Xie Lian.

Comparing Feng Xin’s feelings for Jian Lan and for Xie Lian is a bit like comparing apples and oranges, they are completely different types of love and devotion. With Jian Lan his feelings are new, novel, and a bit of light in the very dark time that is book 4. It’s easy and its indulgent. But at the end of the day, Feng Xin can’t imagine his life without Xie Lian. Whether because he wants it to be that way, or because of his obligation as his guard (I think it’s a bit of both) his loyalty means that he will prioritize Xie Lian every time. And even if he loves Jian Lan, and she knows this, she also knows he simply can’t prioritize her. It doesn’t matter if its romantic bc Feng Xin cannot prioritize his romantic love anyway. And I really do think that’s the reason she kicks him to the curb. There’s no point in continuing something that can’t possibly work out. (There was a reason for FX, this was his escape, but at the end of the day it wasn’t his decision to make.)

As for how this all ties in, it just adds to Feng Xin’s belief that he’s cursed when it comes to women. They either die, hurt him, get hurt, or leave. It might not be true, but it’s a belief no one has ever challenged after his sister scared the shit out of him with it, so what else can he do except trust his gut?

2. Feng Xin and Xie Lian’s Parents

Im SO glad you asked. Feng Xin has limited knowledge on the parental front lol. He sees a lot of his dad in XL’s dad, but his bias toward Xie Lian means he is constantly on the opposing end of XL’s arguments with his dad. He finds this dynamic incredibly difficult to manage because he wants Xie Lian to get along with his father, but he can’t ever see a way for that to work.

Xie Lian’s mother, however, might as well be the mother Feng Xin lost. When XL and FX are around 5/6yo and start to become friends the first person XL introduces him to is his mother. He is, understandably, scared. But quickly warms up to her as he sees how important she is to Xie Lian.

3. Qi Rong, Shen Liang, and ties to the royal family

Y’know, I hadn’t thought of much in regard to him (maybe thatll change now). He really just see’s QR as a self-centered little brat. Their values cannot be more polar opposite. His job is to serve and protect, and QR has a history of doing whatever the fuck he wants and ignoring how everyone (except XL) is affected.

Shen Liang does not have any connection to royalty. So that makes it very easy to blame the crown when her mother dies. (Grief can make you believe anything if you can tie the right strings together). I’m still figuring out how much blame she has, but it does revolved around Xie Lian since both him and her didi were born around the same time and there was a lack of resources for her mother, with a very premature baby fx, because of the expectant royal heir (who was also late term.)

.

I hope that answers everything. Next chapter coming soon (first draft is done!), im very excited to share, hope you are still excited to read, anon! Thanks for the ask!

[tealfruit]

request for audhd cooking tips post?

aight let's get into it

general cooking tips:

watch a lot of cooking videos. just like, in your spare time or whatever. I used to watch a lot of Tasty vids on Facebook back when that was the big thing, im sure there's still stuff out there like that. absorb the knowledge, bc everyone does need to know How to cook generally, no matter what your deal is. ymmv depending on what you watch and how your brain works, but at the very least you will get ideas and a general sense of several cooking techniques. this is important because:

cooking by measuring and weighing and planning can be really difficult! it is way easier (for me at least) to kinda just, throw things together than to go hunting down all the ingredients and measuring them out. this obviously requires some prior learning and plenty of experimentation, but that's ok, there are a few general things you can try to cook that are harder to fuck up. more on that later. DISCLAIMER: if you are making baked goods DO NOT wing it!!! cooking can be an art but baking is a SCIENCE and you don't fuck with science!!!!

get frozen veggies. get canned veggies. any time you get meat, put it in the freezer immediately unless you're going to cook it that night. with auDHD, perishables are a liability. if it's possible for you, don't get fresh fruits/veggies until you have already planned exactly how to use them in the next 2 or 3 days. "oh I'll stock up on fresh produce in advance so I don't have to go to the store later—" stop. that's the devil talking. your greens will be brown before you get to them. get frozens.

when possible, batch-prepare. full disclaimer I don't do much cooking at home simply bc I work in a school kitchen 5 days a week and get free meals there, but sometimes school is on break. I like to make a big bowl of something like crab salad or chicken salad or egg salad or whatever when I know I'm going to be home a lot so that even if I don't feel like making food, I have something yummy already made.

try to eat a variety of foods. this is advice for anyone but ik auDHD stuff has its own challenges with it. ik safe foods are important, but if you never eat a plant you will feel like shit. you may need to do some exploring to find stuff that you can handle and ways to prepare it that you like but I promise it's worth it.

get a cheap rice cooker. they're like $20 and will change your life. also, if you can afford it, an electric kettle, bc boiling water is way faster in those.

with all these tips in mind, here's 5½ easy recipes I like to make when I'm just not feeling like it. they're highly modifiable and pretty easy to throw together. unfortunately I cannot solve the issue of having to wash dishes afterwards.

Easy Baked Pasta

ingredients:

pasta of your choice (penne, rotini and cavatappi are good for this). preferably enough to fill whatever oven-safe pan you have

jarred pasta sauce of your choice

shredded mozzarella

preheat oven to 350°F

boil your pasta. then drain it.

get a casserole dish, or something that can go in the oven. throw the pasta in there with enough sauce to coat it and stir it around. top with shredded mozz and throw it in the oven.

take out once the cheese is melted and beginning to brown. save leftovers in the same dish if you want, just put a lid or some aluminum foil on it.

you can do so much else with this recipe if you feel like it. saute some veggies and add them in, add meat, buy the Fancy jarred sauce, hell make your own sauce if you want. but if you just fucking CANT EVEN today, thisll do in a pinch. (I actually am making this for dinner tonight, using some sauce I made for meatball subs yesterday)

you could even do this with a boxed macaroni if you wanted to make it super fancy!

Baked Chicken

ingredients:

raw chicken, any cut, bone-in or boneless, whatever

oil

sauce or seasonings of your choice (BBQ, teriyaki, sweet chili, etc), maybe minced garlic or parmesan

preheat oven to 350°F

get your chicken. pat it down with a paper towel if it's real wet, you want it kinda dry. put it in a mixing bowl

if you are using a sauce, dump it in the bowl and move the chicken around so it's covered in it. if you're using just seasonings, dump oil in there first and oil the chicken nice and thorough and then the seasonings.

get a baking sheet and grease it down well with cooking spray or oil. lay the chicken on the sheet and put it in the oven. once it reaches an internal temp of 180°F for bone-in or 165°F for boneless, it's ready to eat. (if you don't have a thermometer, just stab it with a fork and see if the insides look pink. if not, it's probably done, but err on the side of overcooking—salmonella is no joke!). serve with rice or pastaroni or whatever.

there's a version of this I do with potatoes and onions as well, but it takes a few extra steps. you gotta cut up and boil the potatoes and cut the onions, cover them in oil and herbs and seasonings, layer them in a casserole dish and put the chicken on top also covered in oil and herbs and seasonings. and then bake it. but thats an entire meal and you'll probably have some potatoes leftover for breakfast in the morning too!

also, we literally do this recipe at my job, because it's delicious and easy to make a lot quickly. literally just chicken drumsticks, covered in sauce and baked.

ALSO, you could do this with salmon as well. it's very good with olive oil, lemon juice, dill and parsley. OR just sweet chili sauce.

Easy Fried Rice

ingredients:

rice, preferably leftover but fresh is fine

chopped vegetables you like (I suggest bell peppers, onions, mushrooms, peas, corn and/or carrots)

prepared chicken (optional)

egg

soy sauce

oil

heat some oil in a pan or wok on medium heat

add in vegetables and sautee them for a bit

add in rice and soy sauce, mix well. keep everything moving

scooch everything to the side away from the heat. crack the egg in there and scramble it around. once it's mostly set stir the rest of it all together and it's basically done

easy to batch-cook for leftovers later. I like to use onions, mushrooms, bacon and egg for "breakfast fried rice". you can add in other sauces you like as well. and of course I'd be remiss if I didn't add: you should put MSG in there if you have it. it'll elevate it so much.

Roasted Vegetable

ingredients:

vegetable(s) you like, cut into pieces around 1". cauliflower, corn, zucchini and yellow squash are all really good for this. potatoes, broccoli, sugar snap peas and carrots are also really good, but if you're using them fresh id suggest blanching them first if you can. it's fine if you can't, they'll just take longer to cook

oil

herbs and seasonings of your choice, salt and pepper

preheat oven to 350-375°F, depending on vegetable. look up "roasted (vegetable) recipe" if you're really super not sure, get the cook time here too.

combine all ingredients in a mixing bowl, toss to coat. layer them on an oiled baking sheet and put em in the oven.

cook for, probably about 20-30 minutes, flip halfway through.

another recipe from work. a great side dish.

Beans and Corn Mix

ingredients:

can of black beans, drained

can of corn, drained

can of diced tomatoes, drained

frozen bell pepper and onion mix

minced garlic

taco seasoning

oil

heat oil in a big ass pan on medium heat

put the frozen onion and pepper in there, CAREFULLY. saute till thawed

add in the rest of the ingredients. there will be some juice in the bottom, so saute till things are kinda dry looking.

serve on tortillas with shredded cheese, or in scrambled eggs, or just eat it whatever it's good

I like making this when we do nachos but I always make a ton of it and then spend the week eating it in my breakfast with scrambled eggs.

last but not least, Fancy Sandwich

I'm not making a whole recipe for this. next time you go to make a sandwich, take the meat and cheese on one bread (cheese on top) and any veggies/dressings (not lettuce) on the other, and put them on a baking sheet and throw it in the oven for like, idk 5-10 minutes. til the cheese melts. throw the two halves together and cut it diagonally. bam, Fancy Sandwich.

hopefully you find this all helpful! it's tough out there but things are easier with a full and nourished belly. just like senshi says

[foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland]

thinking abt that one post abt that person who couldnt move into their new apartment properly after they went thru a rlly fuckin rough patch n their friends just came round n did it all 4 them and didnt offer their help they basically forced it into their hands.

man i need smth like that ig

bc like ive got to the point where i dont want to talk to anyone and would just rather p much ghost everyone than to respond to a msg being like “if u ever need anything just say”

but like. i appreciate that. but if anything that makes things worse. bc like. i cant say. my brain wont let me. and ik this is my fault n all bc the only way things can get better is if i accept help bla bla bla

but like. i just cant accept help bc i need to first identify whats wrong and then how someone can help me and then also become a pleasant person to be around

bc like. being depressed makes me miserable. and also miserable to be around. like rn i am such a fucking dickhead bc i am so sad.

so like

i somehow need to basically halfway fix myself before i can even ask for help ???

so i just. dont. like ive got abt 50 msgs ive completely ignored for the past month or 2 bc i just. cant ???  like how do you tell all ur friends “hey im sorry i havent texted, i most likely wont for a while. i dont hate u, i just hate myself, and have convinced myself to start hating everyone else. im difficult to love and finding it difficult to love rn and i cant guarantee it wont be like this in the future. there isnt a whole lot u can do to help since that requires me to first accept the help, but because i hate myself right now, accepting help is harder than doing my hundred missing assignments.”

or i could just say “sry 4 not texting. kinda been goin thru it. ttyl.”

but no i literally just say nothing.

and the thing is its like im just fucking stuck in this sort of chasm. and on one side is me reaching out to my friends again and asking to spend time and things going back to normal. but that also means getting a response abot 1/5 of the time, and almost all of those responses are “sry cant rn maybe some other time” and end up driving myself back into the depression pit bc i cant cope with getting rejected so fucking often

and on the other side is just letting all my friends ask to spend time and risk not getting anything at all bc im just waiting for them to ask anything and let me know they want me around which is pretty much equally as bad as the other side of the chasm

so instead ive sunk to the bottom between each side where im completely ignoring everyone i know to the point some of them think im dead just because i cant fucking deal with some rejection.

[gingerbreadmonsters]

wip not-wednesday (catch up edition)

[HEAD IN HANDS] IVE MISSED SO MANY TAGS IM SO SORRY - snippet sundays, wip wednesdays, fragment fridays... as an apology, this is basically a mega-compilation of all of the above, featuring bits and pieces of:

for snippet sunday - who knew it could be so difficult for poor elliott to make a cup of tea?

for wip wednesday - in which i absorb rae’s “sam and lovely are siblings” agenda

for whenever wip - ???? pretending to have a philosphy degree

for the last line tag - idk if this is the right thing, but it’s (what is currently) the last line of a certain something for milo and sweetheart, as inspired by the lovely @teaseat hehe

(tags for @autisticempathydaemon @sealriously-sealrious @glassbearclock @sri-rachaa and @romirola - all of whom gave me lovely tags and then i completely dropped the ball 😵‍💫😵‍💫)

snippet sunday - from motion capture

The kettle rattles on its stand as it boils, a faint plume of steam drifting towards the ceiling while he gets his breakfast together. A mug from the cupboard, a teabag from the box, the box of cereal from the shelf. Nothing too complicated. There are things that need to be done today. Which drawer has the cutlery in again? He sets the blue mug next to the purple one on the counter, so that he can choose which one to drink out of.

(He chooses the purple one every time, but he always gets the blue one out as well. Just in case he feels like using it. It doesn’t feel right to leave it behind in the cupboard.)

He puts the box of cereal on the table and goes to sit down, but has to turn around when he realises he needs a bowl. Of course he does. Left hand cupboard, above the plates. He forgot yesterday, as well. Does he have a spoon? Yes, from the cutlery drawer. Of course he does. Obviously. He just got it out. He shakes his head a little, brushing off the doubt, and heads over to the table to set down the cereal bowl.

The water finishes boiling, so he goes to make the tea. Tea is a very good drink to have in the mornings. A comforting routine. Muscle memory. He drops the teabag into the mug (purple, always the purple one) and reaches for the kettle. The plastic handle is warm, and the sloshing water inside is very heavy. God, there’s a lot in here. How much tea was he going to make?

One for me, and one for you.

wip wednesday - from 五二零

me: what’s he planning :) tell me :)

sandwich cullen: Hello to you too

me: ik he’s told you something i saw you two plotting together at the last clan meeting while fred was talking

me: i see all :))) you cannot hide :))) tell me what he’s planning 

sandwich cullen: Who says we were planning something

sandwich cullen: We could have been talking about anything

me: ????? i have vampire ears now i could HEAR you talking about it 

me: also your mate told me that he was at your house yesterday and you were booking something online together BUSTED

sandwich cullen: First of all rude

sandwich cullen: Maybe we were planning something for my mate

me: liar you weren’t your mate HATES surprises

me: if you were planning a surprise you would have at least told them that you were going to do SOMETHING

me: and i already asked them and they said you haven’t mentioned anything BUSTED

me: TELL ME

sandwich cullen: No

me: WHY :(((

sandwich cullen: Vincent would kill me I don’t need that

me: spoilsport :( 

me: at least a hint?? 

sandwich cullen: No 

sandwich cullen: It’s nothing bad and he says you’ll like it

me: …fine i see how it is

me: have fun when i invite your mate to the masquerade first and you have to turn up with vincent instead

sandwich cullen: WHAT

me: bc they WILL say yes

me: and you know how william gets about everybody entering in pairs

sandwich cullen: DONT YOU DARE

sandwich cullen: GET BACK HERE

sandwich cullen is typing… 

wip whenever - from return to me

You might stare at him, incredulous, disbelieving. Yeah, right. How can you say that? It’s impossible. Where do heads end and necks begin?

Very well, trickster god, he would say, taking your challenge head-on. Let me explain it a different way.

The explanation wouldn’t be very complicated. You’d have no trouble understanding if he helped you.

Let’s start at the beginning. The most basic. All things that exist must exist, right? The criteria for being 'a thing that exists' is 'it must exist'. And if it exists, then it must have properties of some sort. Physical or metaphysical, it must have some sort of properties that distinguish it from all of the other 'things that exist'. Otherwise, all 'things that exist' would by definition be identical, because they would have no defining qualities to separate them from each other, as 'existing' is their only quality. Does that make sense?

You’d nod. I… think so? Never took you for the existential type.

last line tag - from ever thine, ever mine

(They find it tucked into the front of their third case file the next day. The telepath from downstairs comes to ask about a document, and the whole wonderful ordeal starts all over again.)

[ouroboobos]

Moodboard for when its barely past 10 am and the horrors.

Also long ass fucking rant under the cut tw for mentions of depression, disordered eating, suicidal thoughts, shitty mom. Its been a bad morning im sorryyyyyyy ♡

Literally why does my mother care so much more about her fiances kids than us. I dont think she actually loves them more, ik she loves us a lot which is weirdly part of what makes her so difficult to be around. But shes has so much more compassion and concern for them.

Two of his kids have been depressed and with the first one she like talked about it with me and described this whole plan they had where they were gonna sit down with her and comfort her and give her space to talk if she wanted and make sure she knew she wasnt in trouble. She was so sympathetic it was fucking unbelievable. And his other daughter is apparently in a bad spot rn so hes taking a day off from work to spend time with her and my mother is planning this whole dinner thing with everyone to get her socializing and out of the house a little bit to help her feel a little better. Like are you FUCKING kidding me lmfao.

When I was 13 and I had to go into treatment because I was gonna kms she spent almost the entire time guilt tripping me and yelling at me and making me feel like shit because it was "so hard for her" and I was "trying to make her feel like a bad mother" and "making people think she was abusive". Nicest thing she did was buy me McDonalds when I got discharged and she brought it up constantly for months afterwards. I was practically never allowed to leave the house already, but she started restricting me even more. She'd get angry at me for not talking to her about my problems (because she believed I was doing it to try to make her feel guilty) but if I ever told her I'd had a panic attack or a flashback shed get annoyed and say "well I dont know what you want me to do about it" OR shed freak the fuck out about how I was only saying that to get attention or make her feel like she wasnt doing a good job as my parent. She found out the people at the facility said there were some changes she could make that might help my mental health, and she got so upset that my grandma took me out for a few hours so I wouldn't have to be around her until she'd cooled down a little.

I've regularly been so suicidal that I had detailed plans written up for how I was going to go through with it and I never sought help for it again because I knew from experience how shed respond. The only things that have kept me alive for years at a time were my little brother and the fear of hell instilled in me by my Christian upbringing lmfao. And here she is planning out social events and spending hours comforting her fiance's kids when they hit a rough patch. Are you fucking serious? You had this in you the whole fucking time?

I could write a whole fucking essay on the role she's played in my disordered eating patterns. I could write an even longer essay about how she handled my sexual abuse. Her accusations that I was sleeping with everyone got even worse whwn she found out lmfao. And this fucking cunt wants to make dinner and get ice cream for her FIANCE'S KIDS because theyre sad. Obviously I'm glad shes treating them better but like christ what makes them so much better? Is it because theyre smart and come from a nicer family? They have an actual future ahead of them because theyre uprbinging didnt traumatize them? Is it that theyre not tainted like I am I dont get it what about me is so horrible that she couldnt even hug me when I was a child and she cares so much about another persons kids