#but also if it was it would a) be so out of place and b) not do as well because it doesn’t do the same numbers as netflix

[fruitiesss]

bob reynolds NSFW alphabet !

as requested lol, i listened to the people and the people want bob smut.

MINORS + AGELESS DNI. SMUT.

send requests in! characters are on my pinned posts, just give me a hot minute to write them ^^

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) Bob's very into cuddling and being close in general, he's also a human heater so if you're not cold you're gonna have to push him off until you are (his pouty face ensues). If it was really messy, he'll run a bath and get in with you situated on his lap. He keeps water bottles by the bed and isn't above running quickly to the store to grab some food if you need it.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) Bob likes his hands. They're almost constantly in use because he likes to fidget and read, so he's more than capable with them, and he loves the way you come apart under them.

He'd like your thighs and hips, it's something to hold onto while he fucks into you or when you ride him. He also loves the squishiness of them, much better than any stress relief toys you buy him.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) Bob's never been in the place mentally (or physically) to risk having a kid at his age. He's always used condoms or pulled out when he's been in quick hook-ups before (though not many, he's quite inexperienced). You would have to sit him down and discuss kids with him first, but even then he's still hesitant and nervous.

He prefers to cum on your stomach or back if you'd let him. He cleans it up fast though, knowing the stickiness when it dries is less than desirable.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) He rarely watches porn - why would he need to, he has you! - but does when you're away on a long mission or a trip. He takes inspiration from it and tries to incorporate a position or kink he'd watched that he thought you might like.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) This boy is inexperienced. As I said before, he's had a few hook-ups here and there but he's never been interested enough to learn. You're gonna have to teach him a few things and he is so eager to please you in any way you want. He's incredibly good at following orders.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) COWGIRL. FUCKING RIDE HIM HE WILL CUM INSTANTLY. Just the way he can see you - all of you - makes him harder than a fucking rock. Ugh, this man will have his hands anywhere, eyes half lidded in pure bliss as he watches you bounce.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) Bob's a mix of both. He's serious when he's concentrating, trying to reach the spot that makes your toes curl, but he laughs and jokes with you when he's not. He can't take himself seriously and neither can you, it feels so good but it's also really funny.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) He's never taken care of himself properly before. Now that he's clean, he probably trims a little down there so it's not completely unbearable but he won't be smooth or clean shaven. He dyed his hair blonde ONCE and nobody will let him forget it, so YES the carpet matches the drapes thank you. He also doesn't mind if you shave or not. Hair is natural and he understands that, he actually prefers if you don't shave, as long as you're clean.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) Sex for him is all about connection. He's done the unfeeling, unromantic stuff before and he hates it. You are his everything and he needs you to know that. He's complimenting you with every other word, letting you know how much he loves you or how good you make him feel. He is all about you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) He rarely jacks off because you're right there all the time. Though when you're out of town or on a long mission he will do it a couple of times just to keep himself sated until you can come back. He's needy for you always.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) BOB LIKES HIS HAIR BEING PULLED. Grab it by the roots and pull and he will give you the sweetest sound you've ever heard. He loves praise too, call him a good boy and he's already on his knees for you so he can do anything you want. He's a switch 100%, will do anything you want but likes to be dominated sometimes.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do) He likes being in bed with you, he's very hesitant to do anything in public because you're his to see and he's yours to see. He will if you really want to, but he won't like it. When he's really needy, he'll corner you wherever you are in the tower until you take him up to one of your rooms, with him following like a dog on a leash.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) You. If you're in the mood, he's in the mood. If he sees you, he's in the mood. Wearing something revealing? He's on you. You opened the floodgates when you first laid with him now lie in the bed you made.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) He's not into any kind of bodily fluid (other than cum, obviously) or anything where he hurts you or you hurt him. He refuses to lay a hand on you. Unless it's a soft slap. Impact play is a big no no.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) He likes to get his dick sucked. He loves it, actually. You look so pretty on your knees with his cock in your mouth. He prefers giving, though! He wasn't so good at it when he started out but he has definitely gotten much better since he started out and he is a MUNCH. This man will spend hours between your legs if he can, his intense eyes staring into yours.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) Bob as a person is very soft and sweet despite everything he's been through. He would take it slow and sweet with you, afraid to break you as if you were made of glass. He could take you fast and rough but he wouldn't be able to keep it up.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) He doesn't like them. Too fast, it blurs in his head. He needs to know you're satisfied before he can leave you. He will take you for a quickie if you really, really beg him and only if you're in a place where you can't get to your beds.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) He likes to experiment with anything you bring to him. He'll do anything (other than his nos) at least once.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) Thanks to his powers, he has very good stamina. He'll last about 6 rounds with water breaks in between but if you wanted more, he will give you more. Anything for you. He'd last the whole day for you.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) He's never seen the need for them. His hand did the job just fine when he was low on money (or needed the money for drugs) and even now he doesn't see the need for toys. He doesn't get jealous if you have any toys either, he'll use them on you if you're into that.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) He thinks he's a tease but really he gives in whenever you so much as pout at him or whine. He's so smitten for you and wants to provide everything you need.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) Bob will be quiet at first, biting into his hand to stifle any of his moans or grunts so he can fully hear the beautiful noises he elicits from you. But that's when he's on top. Get him submissive and that boy is LOUD for you. Pull his hair and he WILL moan. Overstimulate him and he WILL whine.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) He likes to bite and suck marks into your skin. Especially in those spots that are hard to cover up. It gives him a sense of pride, knowing that he did that to you. He's also very bitey in general. Very cute.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) He's not small at all but he'd not HUGE. I'd say he's 6 inches, nice and thick. Knows how to use it once he gets the hang of sex in general. It curves slightly to the left and has a nice pink tip, cut.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) This guy is super needy. He's ready for you at any time, you just need to ask and he's already pouncing on you.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) He only lets himself fall asleep once he's sure you're comfortable enough to. He is very sleepy after, though. He's falling asleep as he's scrubbing you in the bath, head slumping forward onto your shoulder until you nudge him. Once you're taken care of though, he's out like a light on the bed.

[mdhwrites]

So, this person has a point but I want to take this as a chance to essentially talk about WHY so much is done in High School. After all, it's not just tv dramas. A looooooooooooot of different mediums default to high school for their storytelling. Why is that?

A: It's a shared experience.

Not everyone has gone to college. Not everyone has even applied to a college. As such, you may lose some people with how things like sororities, fraternities or even just a basic schedule works. If you haven't been to college and some dude talks about how he only has Physics twice a week, someone might wonder why that is because most will assume college works just like high school because all versions of primary school (elementary to high school) work in a similar way where you're there ALL DAY. I mean, even the changing of nations can cause confusion for traditions between high schools and lose parts of the audience that way and make it less approachable.

B: There's downtime in classes.

So I actually went to college for a year and a half and admittedly did not do things like clubs, look into fraternities, etc. like that. Even in High School, I wasn't that social... But when it was just time to do homework, I saw and heard plenty of bullshit around me. I never had a SINGLE lecture that had time for people just to hang out in the middle of class. In an environment where you are all packed together, bored, waiting for the bell to ring and thus something can happen while the density of people is at its absolute maximum.

This similarly goes for Lunch time, which isn't a thing in college. You want a fight to break out, or someone to have a big public break up? You can do it in the Commons but you are guaranteed an excuse for your main character to see it if it's at lunch because they have to be there but they don't necessarily need to do anything.

C: Everyone has downtime.

This one is more flexible as I had more free time in college than one might immediately expect... But I still had less and it was more awkward to get ahold of because I was a part time worker too. My weekends were eight hours in the toy department of Walmart, Friday-Sunday. My days meanwhile were chopped up piece meal between all my classes which would leave me like two hours between each of my lectures but only two hours so I could go eat, maybe strike up a conversation but go hang out with someone? That was a lot more questionable until potentially five in the afternoon, WAY later than High School gets out and your characters are free to get into shenanigans. I mean, chased by feral hogs? I bet there are teenage dumbasses who had that happen too because they fucked around and found out. Being in college doesn't really dictate that, that's more due to:

D: A weird mix of pressure and not.

You're old enough to have a car! But not old enough to get much of a job but you can have a part time job for a little bit of spending money but then you gotta still do homework but at least all that money is yours instead of having to go to rent, food, transportation, etc. But maybe you want to save some of it for college someday and that's why you're working instead. Teenagers are in a very weird place in society. They are considered old enough to be mostly left to their devices so they can get into a lot of trouble but not old enough to be entirely untethered. They are young enough to be taught instead of simply punished but old enough that there are real consequences to when they go too far. They're told at the same time to remember to be kids and enjoy this time before the real world kicks in but also to be thinking about their future and how their actions now may affect their prospects for jobs, colleges, etc. like that. This is all without getting into hormones, dating, etc. like that. It is a natural time of life where society and biology smash together to tell you to DO SOMETHING MOTHERFUCKER!

Not to say that in reality young adults don't deal with a LOT of this stuff anyways but it is not the social norm or what is expected, though that is changing with how severely fucked most young adults are because the world sucks. -_-

Speaking of these weird places where the line blurs... How could you get some of these advantages back? The answer is theoretically simple to point out but I'm not going to call it easy:

The Dorms.

I was not a dorm kid myself and admittedly, I've never used the social spaces in any of the apartments I lived in. However, you do have these cramped spaces that force a LOT of people together, often in situations that are not ideal between roommates and the like and if you want a place to study, you might just have to leave your room in order to find it. This leaves the character in a high density place where, if they took out loans or had enough in scholarships, they don't have to worry as much about transportation, food, rent, etc. During their downtime, there are always people coming and going from the dorms, there's always bubbling trouble within the rooms, etc. like that. It essentially trades the high school advantages for the advantages of sharing an apartment but with WAY MORE PEOPLE, at least to some extent. You trade the rigid structures of High School for a more fluid epicenter for your drama and action. Otherwise, stuff like clubs are just also a part of college so you can keep those too for such things.

It's not a perfect solution but the goal shouldn't be to make it 1:1 to high school because otherwise, why did you bother swapping the setting to a college? I think there is a lot of potential for works genuinely focused on college too so I am in support of what the OP is talking about. I just wanted to share my thoughts on why we don't see that transition really. See you all next tale.

can we have tv dramas set in college please. fucking nothing happens in hs man. now im in college and my friend got chased by feral hogs a week ago in the woods and its like the 5th craziest thing to happen this week

[yoiisa]

Hi!!!! I just wanna say i adore how you write for the wb boys, can i request them ( suo, sakura, nirei n sugishita ) courting the reader? headcannons if you may:3 thank you!!

ofc ofc! ( っ˶´ ˘ `)っ

➜ suo hayato is the gentleman of the year ➜ he knows flowers, as seen when he visits that old man with tsubaki, so pictures this: a tiny bouquet ➜ EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. ➜ roses, lilies, tulips, whatever you could possibly picture he delivers ➜ he also writes notes to go with them ➜ when you ask him what it means, he just pats your head and ignores the question. after all, what's the harm in a little tease?

"Oh, she's back!" you hear someone shout as you open the door to the classroom. "Y/N! There's a present for you~" Present? You rip open the wrapper for your red bean bun and take a bite as you walk towards your desk. As you swallow your food you ask, "Present?" "Someone from bofurin came by today! He had an eyepatch!" your friend explains, her eyes sparkling with excitement. She and a few other girls start pushing you towards your desk, trying to get you to see the gift quicker. "Hurry up! Go look!" As your eyes finally fall on your desk, you can't help the slight blush that creeps onto your face, as well as the small smile. A small bouquet of three red tulips and two white ones rests on your desk, as well as a small notecard folded up. On the front, all there said was Hayato ♡. As you pick up the tulips, running your fingers along the edges of the petals, you hear someone behind you go, "I want a boyfriend so bad~" "Well," you say with a soft giggle, turning around to look at the small group of girls crowding you, "he's not my boyfriend. Not yet at least." They stare at you dumbfounded before one of them practically shouts, "The fuck you mean he's not your boyfriend! Girl get him before someone else swoops in, what are you doing?!" You nod absentmindedly as you open the notecard. You smile falls and your eyes widened as you read over Suo's scrawls. You feel your cheeks warm as you look up and out of the window. Nirei and Sakura stand at the edge of the courtyard arguing, while Suo stares up you, hope glowing in his soft gaze. When you nod, gifting him with an elated grin, his mouth parts in a relieved smile and all he can think is one glorious thought: Finally. You're mine.

➜ sakura haruka is lost. completely and totally lost ➜ he considers going to suo or nirei, or even hiragi for advice, but decides that doing so would result in him dying of embarrassment ➜ as a result, he goes to kaji for help instead ➜ but it's like dumb and dumber of romance with the two of them, so it just ends up turning into a big mess when he finally makes a move on you ➜ but the whole situation is so uniquely sakura you can't help but find it endearing in the end, and ultimately, it ends up with you two getting together anyways

"Are you sure this'll work?" Sakura asks as Kaji drapes an acoustic guitar over Sakura's shoulders "You've been practicing, haven't you?" Kaji asks. When Sakura nods, Suo snickers from the corner of the room. Nirei swats his arm as Sakura shoots him a withering glare, but Kaji grabs Sakura's face and redirects his attention. "Ignore them, just focus on her," he commands, and Sakura nods seriously. It's six o'clock, and the entire first year classroom is decorated with electronic candles and rose petals. Suo, Kiryu, Nirei, and Tsuguera helped kick everyone out and decorated the place while Kaji helped Sakura practice the guitar. The entire time, Suo kept trying to hint at Sakura that this was too much, but the other boy kept brushing it off. If he wanted Suo's advice he would've just gone to Suo. This crush had been going on for too long and finally Sakura had managed to muster up the courage to deal with it. If you rejected him . . . he didn't know how he'd manage. When you walk in, Sakura short circuits. He bumbles his way through the song, his voice occasionally going pitchy and his fingers clumsy on the guitar strings. As you blink at him, walking down the pathway of rose petals, he can feel his heart aching more and more. This was stupid. This was the stupidest way for him to confess to you. What the fuck had Kaji been thinking? What the fuck was he thinking?! This wasn't going to work, this was going horribly, he fucked it all up, why would you ever- Suddenly, your hand lands on his, stilling his strumming, his heart actually breaks. He thinks he might cry, but from the way you're looking at him, a loving smile, eyes shimmering with happy tears, he stalls. "I'll go out with you Haru," you say. "Please stop singing now." The boys watch from the hallway windows, their eyes worried and anxious to see your reaction. But then, they see you taking the guitar off of Sakura, and hugging him, and they all breathe out a sigh of relief, Kaji especially. "Why are you so surprised that this worked?" Nirei admonishes. "You almost killed him in there!"

➜ nirei akihiko spends a solid month writing out plans in his notebook before he makes any move on you ➜ that and he goes to kiryu for advice almost religiously ➜ kiryu becomes like the pope of romance to nirei, and he takes his word as gospel ➜ when he tries to confess to you the way kiryu suggests though, it puts you off because it's so disingenuous to nirei's true nature ➜ it's a little messy, but eventually the two of you work it out

Nirei nods emphatically. "Okay, got it. Plushes. What else?" He's like a duckling, trailing after Kiryu. Suo and Sakura stare at him pitying, and Kiryu feels like sponge drained of all information he can give. Tsuguera takes a sip of his protein shake and claps Nirei on the back. "You got this man, just be yourself." "No! Kiryu, please I need more help-" "Nirei," Kiryu says, his smile tight and his voice clipped. "I told you everything I could've possibly told you. There's nothing more. Now, go confess to her already. I need a break." Kiryu slumps against Sakura, who blushes bright red and shoves Kiryu onto Suo. Nirei looks down at his notebook and sighs. His notes are messy black ink scribbles. They take up two whole pages, but he still feels like it isn't enough. Never mind that though, it's now or never. The next day, Nirei invited you to go to the park. The sight that meets you is . . . a one to behold for sure. Nirei has clip on piercings, his hair tied back, silver gothic chains around his neck, eyeliner on his waterline, and is sitting on a picnic blanket with food from Pothos. But that's not even it. Along one of the sides of the picnic blanket is a stuffie of literally every single Sanrio character that possibly could exist. Hello Kitty, Keroppi, Pochacco, Pompompurin- "Sit down, please," Nirei invites, gesturing across from him. You sit and fold your hands in your lap, feeling out of place to say the least. Nirei serves you some food and you eat in mostly silence, before he starts his speech. It's pretty . . . and sounds nothing like Nirei at all. It's like he had Kiryu as a ghost writer or something. When he finally finishes and asks if you'll be his girlfriend, you disappointedly ask, "Am I going to be Kiryu's girlfriend, or your's, Akihiko?" When Nirei stares at you blankly, looking a bit like a kicked puppy, you sigh. You take his hand in yours and squeeze. "I'd love to date Nirei Akihiko . . . not this weird thing he's acting like. So next time ask me like my Akihiko, okay?" The next day, he does the confession right: after he walks you home, he asks shyly, but it's a hundred percent him. You hug him and nod, and he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you tight against him.

➜ sugishita kyotaro is the same as nirei, but instead of kiryu, he turns to umemiya ➜ but umemiya actually kinda sucks at romantic advice though . . . so sugishita is promptly redirected to tsubaki ➜ tsubaki . . . who has been waiting for a chance like this ➜ he had full on board meetings with sugishita, umemiya and the other devas ➜ sugishita is immensely uncomfortable sharing this much of his personal life with all of these other people, but at least he's getting advice, so he just shuts up and deals with it

"And then-" Tsubaki starts, but Takumi cuts him off with a "Oh, but wouldn't it be nice if Sugishita gave her a portrait? Really capture Y/N's beauty like that?" Tsubaki considers this before Saku reminds Sugishita, "Make sure it's not too flashy. Generally that doesn't go very well in the first move. Wait until the fourth or fifth month anniversary for that." Hiragi grumbles and says, "You guys are assuming he'll make it to the five month mark? Aren't you getting too ahead of yourselves? He hasn't even confe-" "Don't say such things Hiragi!" Umemiya admonishes. "He needs encouragement right now, not to be put down!" "I'm not putting him down, I'm being realistic!" "Guys, please stop fighting-" Tsubaki cuts in, but Umemiya and Hiragi just keep on. Sugishita sighs as he watches his upperclassmen go at it. He knew he shouldn't have told anyone about his crush. Dragging other people into his business was only going to make things more complicated. He'll just keep his emotions buried deep inside his chest forever and ever, and one day he'll die and none of it will even matter anymore. He stands to leave, but just as he starts walking to the door to the roof, it swings open and you step out. You look up at him and smile. "There you are. I got excused from school for a doctor's appointment, but I finished it a little bit ago. I figured I'd come see you." You peak over his shoulder to see all the devas and Umemiya staring you down, with an intense look. As if they're expecting something to happen? "Are they okay?" you ask, pointing at the older boys. Your eyes widen as you see Sugishita's eyes boring into yours and his face turning red. "Go out with me," he chokes out through his embarrassment. "I like you. Go out with me." You blink up at him blankly, taken aback completely by his sudden confession. You hear Tsubaki add in a tiny, "Please," before you giggle and take Sugishita's hand in yours. "Okay, Kyo, where should we go?" You lead him off the roof. As he's closing the door behind him, Sugishita sees Umemiya wiping a happy tear of his face, looking like the proudest parent in the world. "Ahh, they grow up so fast," he says as he turns away from the door. "No thanks to you," Hiragi scoffs.

A/N: oof idk why but Nirei's took forever to write lmao. Anyways, good news! exams are all done, so we're gonna be back to regularly scheduled fics!

[nabi-unveiled]

So my adoration of bookshelves is no secret. I have way too many in my house. I've converted preschool cubbies, cleaned and restored bookcases from a local church that caught on fire, made makeshift ones out of crates, etc.

A lot CAN be said about a person based on their bookcase. Which is why I was delighted that @dramalove247 directed me to this post earlier today that referenced the way Qian stores his books in Unknown. I won't judge it. That many books of that size would not have fit spine out on that shelf. You do what you need to do. Based on his personality, I guarantee you that Qian knows where his books are within those stacks.

But the post reminded me of just how obsessed I was with the bookshelves when I watched this show.

I rarely care too much about which books are ON a crowded bookshelf in a show. It can be a fun detail, but I know that most of the time it's just whatever production could find. (Note: There are a few exceptions on this score.)

But how the books are arranged? And how that changes over time? That feels more purposeful. And even if it's not, I'm going to make something of it anyways. Whether intended or not, my own takeaways from a show are what count in my book.

In Unknown, there are all kinds of bookshelves in their house. There are even bookshelves at Qian's work. All neatly arranged since work is where appearances matter most. (Arranged by someone else I'm sure, but the point stands.)

These two men LOVE their books. Their girl loves her magazines. The magazines are normally on the coffee table. After all, this is her home too. And this trio loves each other for who they are.

There are two bookcases in the living room. When Qian was a child living with his mother, the one by the door was almost empty.

And the other devoid of any color.

But as Qian takes on the caretaker roles for Yuan and Bao, the bookcase by the door begins to fill up.

And has colorful artwork hung above it. Life has become fuller for all three of them and filled with moments of joy and color.

The other bookcase is now crammed with books, and it also has artwork. Artwork from a child. These are evidence that they've built a family and home together.

And as they all age into adulthood, the bookcases and the art on the wall change again. Once Yuan goes abroad, the one by the door has been rearranged. Some new items. Some old. After all, we've changed but the past is still with us. And there's now a picture of presumably a foreign place hanging over the dark bookcase. Yuan being abroad has cast a shadow on their happiness. A light has been left on near the door. They would welcome him home at any time.

And once he comes home, we see the lighting shift. The light from abroad has "returned". As far as I remember, that light by the picture stays on for the rest of the show.

By this point, the bookcase by the television has become a bit more curated with modern pictures on the wall representing life and love. Yes, that is a heart in the left picture. They're growing up and getting themselves in order. But the love for each other remains.

While it's not as dramatic, we see changes over time in Yuan's bookshelves too. He's got some shelves on the wall and books by his bed (spine out). Again, the men in this house love their books.

But the changes primarily happen in his main bookcase.

It shifts over time as he lives longer with Qian and Bao. While some things stay the same, we start seeing it more lit up and new things are added. Including more playful reading material. It's rearranged several times throughout the show as Yuan himself changes over time.

Side note - I always appreciated how Yuan stored special memories in his books. I choose my bookmarks carefully too, and they are rarely an actual bookmark.

When Yuan goes abroad, his shelves are much emptier. His life is no longer as full without Qian and Bao in it.

And although Qian lingers in Yuan's room, his shelves at home are dark. Yuan isn't there.

But as soon as Yuan's back home, the shelf rearranges again and is basked in light.

Which brings us back to Qian and his books. We could argue that his books are stacked with the titles hidden, because he's focused more on utility. That his feelings are "hidden" or any number of other things. The majority of the books we see of his are reference books or practical books of some kind.

But that's not the part I normally choose to focus on. I focus on the fact that as an adult Qian has a bookshelf by his bed too. Ones that are not all reference books.

Whereas, when they were younger, he did not have a shelf there at all.

And while Yuan had the nice desk, the nice bookshelf, and lots of books as he grew up.

Qian did not.

He only had a few books on a chair under his punching bag that says "never give up" and a very basic desk.

Because his priority has ALWAYS been Yuan and Bao, and their happiness. As Bao says, he has been brother, mother and father. He has always wanted them to have everything he couldn't and everything they dreamed of in life.

Which is why this cramped bookcase overflowing with books brings me joy. It was a sign that Qian's life was more stable by the end of the series. He could focus a bit more on himself. He could buy himself books and get himself a proper bookshelf.

And although he still fought his feelings for Yuan for a while, the man has more joy in his life by the end of the series than he can fit on his shelves.

It's a sign that Qian can put down his boxing gloves and accept his feelings for Yuan.

He's reached the point where he can afford to get himself books. He can now afford to think about himself.

And he can afford to let himself be happy.

[passions-and-pupils]

Shen twins + Shang twins au where the transmigrators have to communicate through increasingly absurd methods to avoid suspicion

Listen, I just feel there is no way the originals would let their brothers be alone with each other. OG!Shang Qinghua (I’ll come up with better names later) wouldn’t want his brother to ruin their carefully crafted reputation by associating with people as widely gossiped about as the Shen twins and Shen Jiu would think Airplane!Shang Qinghua super suspicious because “no one’s that pathetic, it has to be an act”

They also both would be very alarmed that someone wanted to talk with their brothers alone and not allow it on principle.

So the transmigrators have to A. Confirm the other is a transmigrator and B. Find out what the others changed all without their brothers getting suspicious.

Shen Qingqiu tries to be subtle, and Shang Qinghua if he’s ever read a book titled “proud immortal demon way but Shang Qinghua is so caught off guard (he thought he’d have to ask) that he starts choking, making a massive scene but at least confirming they were both transmigrators

Shang Qinghua tries to pass notes in English but neither of them are fluent anymore and they see each other so rarely that it takes months for Shen Yuan to communicate he had no idea what that note said and for them to agree to using pinyin instead.

They then switch to hiding notes on the others peak in specific places but Shen Jiu finds one and becomes determined to crack the code and find out what it says so Shen Yuan panics and tells Shang Qinghua they have to stop because if he got enough notes Shen Jiu could definitely figure it out.

They try meeting in the middle of the night but both of their siblings follow them so neither of them actually go to the meeting spot.

Things get easier when their brothers are peak lords but they also get busier. They can interact now but there are disciples everywhere and theres never a time they are both free and seperated from their brothers for more than a few minutes at a time. Shen Yuan to talk in code but Airplane doesn’t catch on so Shen Yuan straight up tells Airplane to request a day off to go on a trip on a day Shen Yuan was also off.

By the time they finally get a full conversation alone it’s been multiple years and they barely know anything about each other, not even IDs have been exchanged. They spend the whole time telling each other what they had already done and have no time to actually plan anything.

They start writing letters in pinyin because Shen Qingqiu doesn’t have the time to decipher unknown languages as a peak lord. But this time OG! Shang Qinghua finds out and gets highly suspicious.

OG! Shang Qinghua asks Shen Jiu if he knew why their brothers were writing letters in unknown languages and they end up teaming up to try and find out

The transmigrators are so horrified when they see their brothers being friendly towards each other they actually agree to stop writing to each other if it meant their brothers wouldn’t become friends. It’s to late. The consequences of the OG’s becoming friends are dire for not only the other peak lords but for the cultivation world as a whole.

[traumadumpwriter]

Held Together

Bf!JJ Maybank X Pogue!Reader

Summary: In the devastating aftermath of John B and Sarah’s disappearance, JJ struggles to express his grief until it suddenly overwhelms him.

Trigger warnings for panic attacks, anxiety and grief.

Word count: 2.1k

This was another request. I know I took ages to do this and I haven’t posted anything new in a while sorrryy lol I’ve been low-key so so depressed and hating my writing, really not a fan of this one tbh. If any of you are interested in my other accounts my most active one is @gross99 ;P . As per don’t forget my inbox is open if you’re struggling with anything and my requests are open. Hope y’all enjoy <3 (divider by @i-mmaculatus )

Ever since that rainy night in which two of your best friends had supposedly died, things had obviously been quite different. John B and Sarah had tried to evade police capture by driving a fishing boat through a tropical storm and no one had seen them since. The moment that Deputy Shoupe had stepped into the tent, his head bowed low before he told everyone the news, would be engraved into your mind for the rest of your life.

You'd known before he even opened his mouth what he was going to say but it didn't make it land any less painfully.

"We lost them. Sorry."

JJ was stood beside you, his body tightened and his fists clenched, and although you wanted to reach out and touch him - to try to somehow calm him in some way - you were unable to move. Your body felt as if it were made of lead and although you heard the words that Kie and Pope spoke to Shoupe, you didn't process them until later on.

Lost? What did that even mean?

It hadn't surprised you when JJ shouted, his voice torn and full of hurt, blaming the Deputy for his part in it all - trying to somehow get some justice despite knowing he never would. You wanted to shout too, to also try to claim your own kind of justice but you had just felt so... frozen. Like nothing around you was real.

You had watched JJ lunge at the officers in his blind grief, and although the sight went off in your head as being something that you should intervene with, that alert quickly faded into the background and was instead replaced by a loud, foggy silence and mental visions of your "lost" friends.

Only when Kie had loudly cried "JJ stop!" a couple of times did you find yourself suddenly able to snap out of the trance, rushing over to your boyfriend and desperately trying to reach for him between the officers.

"JJ. Calm down." You'd pleaded, the cracking in your voice surprising you.

It was then that you noticed the warm streams running down your face and down JJ's. Like your voice possessed some magic tone, JJ looked up at and froze for a moment, his eyes glistening red, and then shoved the officers from his arms. They'd backed away quickly upon seeing he was finally somewhat calm, and he wrapped his arms tightly around you.

You could feel how tense his muscles still were, how he was one inch away from seriously loosing his mind, and hear the fast drum beating pace of his heart. Usually, his chest would be a warm place where everything was safe, but that night there would be no amount of real comfort either of you could offer each other. You'd found yourself suddenly uncontrollably sobbing into his t-shirt, the cries erupting out of your chest as Kiera and Pope's parents arrived.

It seemed like everyone had some noise to make, whether it was words of comfort, cries, questions, sniffles or gasps. But JJ had stayed silent.

And the silence lasted for a while after that night.

In fact, it had now been weeks and JJ was still just as withdrawn, unable to joke or laugh or even get angry like he used to. He'd seemingly gone into some robotic mode, disappearing for hours at a time, pacing around the spots he'd associated with John B, and then returning to you with a plain, steely face, insisting that he was okay.

Realistically you knew that he wasn't, but you didn't want to press him, unsure of what really was the right way to grieve. All you'd done was cry and cuddle your boyfriend, beyond grateful to have him there. If he hadn't been with you, you probably wouldn't have eaten, but then again nor would’ve he. Every night you'd curl up on his lap and let tears fall from your eyes, remaining there for hours as you gradually drifted into sleep.

JJ on the other hand had hardly been sleeping. He'd been so tired, but entirely unable to turn his brain off. When he was able to finally rest his dip into unconsciousness, it never lasted long. His brother's face haunted him, and even Sarah's, in dreams so realistic that he could've swore that his friends had just been in the room with him.

It was due to one of these dreams that JJ finally cracked. He finally made some noise.

This dream had been the worst one yet - a macabre nightmare - and it shocked JJ out of his slumber, causing him to shoot out from under the covers with wide eyes, panting as he came back to reality. He looked at you, comfortable and sweet in your bed, and didn't think twice about sneaking out of the room, desperate not to wake you up and let you see him like this.

But what was this?

He didn't understand what was happening. He just knew that it felt like the world was crushing him, physically and mentally, and he wasn't sure how much longer his shaking legs would be able to hold him up for.

Slowly, he made his way to the bathroom and quietly closed the door, cursing himself for always forgetting to fix the lock before finally collapsing onto the floor. His breath felt impossible to catch; his chest being squeezed by some invisible force and his stomach being twisted by the same thing. He tried to keep the chokes of his struggled breaths hushed, rocking back and forth with his legs pressed to his torso, but he found it increasingly difficult as he got more panicked.

A painful loop of images and words plagued his mind; a nonstop film of memories that only made his chest tighter.

He had lost John B - his brother - forever. And the people to blame would never be brought to justice.

This mental reel went on for a while before JJ couldn't hold in his sobs anymore, something that only made his breathing more difficult and ragged. He had never felt so small and helpless in his life, not since he had been a little boy getting beaten by his father, only this helplessness was even more crippling as there was no way of actually fighting it back.

At the same time, you had awoken at the absence of JJ's warmth and sat confused for a moment, wondering where he might be. His imprint in the bed was almost cold, so wherever he'd gone he had been there for some time. Your eyebrows furrowed as you stroked the material, worry building in your gut, and then you quickly decided to get up and check around the house, knowing that your parent wasn’t in and wouldn’t be for another while.

"JJ?" You called, stepping out into the corridor.

You got no reply back, but you did notice that the bathroom door was closed and there seemed to be some noise coming from in there. For a second you hesitated, wondering if he was just on the toilet, but something in your gut told you that he wasn't.

When you pushed on the handle you weren't expecting to see what you did. Your boyfriend curled up and infantile, looking so delicate, with such a dizzying array of panic and grief in his eyes. His breathing was fast and shallow - too fast - and his fists were clenched, like he was ready to rip apart the bathroom tiling that he’d so kindly done for your parent last summer.

"JJ?" You spoke lowly.

He didn't answer - didn’t even look at you - and it made a shiver run up your spine. You quickly stepped over to him.

"Hey... what's going on?"

Still nothing.

And then a loud choke, his lungs unable to hold it in any longer.

"Fuck!" he shouted, curling over, hands in his hair. "Fuck- fuck, I can't- he's gone, I can't-"

You dropped to your knees in front of him, your heart hammering. "JJ. JJ, look at me."

He shook his head, tears streaking down his pink cheeks. "He's not coming back. He's not- he's gone- he's gone and I can't fix it."

He sounded almost as if he was choking on his words, frequently stopping for sharp breaths and tightly gripping his knees. You'd never seen him look so scared and you battled to not feel scared yourself, taking a second to collect your mind before grabbing his hands, continuing to hold them even when he pulled away.

"JJ, try to catch your breath." You said firmly, though your tone was still gentle. "You're having a panic attack darling, I promise things are going to be okay."

He started crying harder, hands shaking in yours like he didn't know how to hold on. You shifted your body so that you were closer to him, pressing your forehead against his and squeezing his hands as you continued to speak, voice soft.

"I've got you. Just breathe with me. Right here. Right now."

"But he's gone, Y/N! Him- and Sarah! They're dead- and we're never gonna see them- never gonna speak to them- ever again." He sobbed.

And you wished you could say that he was wrong, but he wasn't. You swallowed, blinking back your own tears and then, stroking his bruised cheekbone whispered "I know baby, I know."

For a while you just stayed there on the cold bathroom tile, breathing for him while he couldn't do it on his own, squeezing his palms and cooing softly. He slowly stopped shaking, though his breath still hitched now and then, whilst your fingers traced patterns rhythmically across his palms.

Then he finally spoke, raspy and barely audible.

"I'm sorry... I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Don't be silly." You murmured, brushing his damp hair from his forehead. "There's nothing wrong with you."

He didn't respond. Just closed his eyes and leaned forward a little, resting his head against your shoulder. You felt the weight of him - how heavy he'd become with exhaustion, his bones aching and tired. The silence seemed to fill in the cracks of those bones for a short while, at least as JJ learnt to breathe again.

"It's gonna be okay. I'm here. You're gonna be alright." You eventually broke the silence with a soothing whisper, which he responded to by gripping onto you even tighter, his wet face buried into your collarbone like a scared child.

"Just promise me- you'll never leave me. Yo-You'll stay with me- forever. You're all I have now."

"I'm not all you have. What about Kie and Pope. Even Hayward and my parents?" You tried to reason but he cut you off frantically.

"Please just promise me, Y/N. I- I can't loose you too."

You squeezed him lightly and placed a soft kiss on his forehead, holding your lips there for a short moment before answering quietly.

"I promise, JJ. I'm never going to leave you... And you're never going to leave me either. We'll both have each other until the end of time... You're never going to be alone, I promise."

Eventually, his muscles started to relax and his breathing became balanced. You let another healing minute of quiet pass until he seemed almost still; no more sniffles escaping from the gaps between your skin and a considerably slower heart rate; his veins no longer raised and pulsing with the pump of his blood.

"Should we go back to bed?" You quietly suggested, tracing a circular pattern on the back of his neck.

After another long moment, he nodded - barely - and slowly stood up, gripping the sink as if he might fall over but then quickly letting go of it, avoiding eye contact with you. He turned on the cold tap and washed his face, rubbing at the skin roughly before following you into the bedroom.

The sheets were messy, still holding the shape of where you'd both been before all of this. JJ crawled in with a heaviness that hurt to watch, curling toward you with the same infantile vulnerability that you'd seen in him during his panic attack. His face was puffy and blotched with red, but he still looked so beautiful - even in his worst state.

You tucked yourself behind him, pressing your chest to his back and draping your arm around his waist, holding him as much as you could. He didn't say anything, but with a slowing, shaky breath he laced his fingers through yours.

"I've got you." You whispered, placing a soft kiss on the back of his head. "Just sleep. I'm not going anywhere."

It was a long time before either of you slept. But when JJ finally did you found yourself able to drift off again. Your sleep was dreamless and for once so was his, and so you both slept; two broken pieces held together just enough to get through the night.

Uploading this at midnight bc I can’t sleep. Have proofread it but my brain is tired so might not be great. Potential edits incoming! Lots of love <3

[tryandbehappy]

Not a question, just a comment about the latest episode. I feel like the B&TB storyline is probably not gonna happen now? I say this because I think Rose and the baby will die (based upon them eating the Ketamine cake), which leaves us more with a June-feels-guilt-and-realizes-she's-just-as-bad-as-Nick storyline. I don't like this storyline as much because it feels like it comes from a place of guilt for June rather than a place of love and protection. I really wanted her to save him from an angry mob and to accept him fully without having to kill his wife and baby to come to that realization. I'm also sorta mad that June was fine to just let Nick and Rose eat the cake - as if she didn't care a bit about them. Either way, there is SO MUCH ground to cover in the next 2 episodes and I'm getting worried our Osblaine moments will be super limited. Thoughts??

That’s interesting, let’s talk

1. So, is the Beauty and the Beast parallel off the table now?

Honestly, this is such an interesting question because, yeah at this point, it’s really hard to predict where the writers are taking this. It feels like they’ve already built a solid Beauty and the Beast foundation, that symbolism is clearly there. But where it all leads — who knows?

The one thing that surprised me (and maybe even lowkey reassured me?) is that they didn’t take Nick any further with this arc (I’m not good without her), not yet at least . And maybe that’s for the best.

It doesn’t mean they won’t keep using elements from that storyline though, there are a lot of those.

The main takeaway is: the parallel still exists. Just not sure yet what they’ll do with it next.

2. Will Rose die from the cake and make June feel like she’s just as “bad” as Nick?

I’m not so sure about that either. Like… how would ketamine hurt her if it didn’t really affect anyone else? Just because she’s pregnant? I’m kind of skeptical about this storyline, but okay — maybe they’ll explain it that way.

From a narrative perspective, yeah, it would make sense to get Rose (and the baby) out of the picture. She’s extra baggage for Nick right now, tying him to Gilead and making him less free to move forward. And since we’re heading toward the finale, it feels like we’re getting rid of everything that holds him back.

But honestly? I feel like that “I’m not innocent and good as Nick hinted” arc already happened — in this very same episode. The moment June stabbed Commander Bell in the eye and watched him suffer before he died? That was it.

(But okay, maybe that’s just me as a fangirl seeing what Nick said in literally every one of her reactions.)

And right after that, we saw June turn kinda soft again — going to Aunt Lydia, trying to solve things peacefully, talking instead of killing. So yeah, maybe that monster arc is already complete? I don’t know if they’ll go back to it through Rose’s storyline… it’s possible, but I’m not convinced.

3. June didn’t warn Nick about the drugged cake — does that mean she doesn’t care?

Honestly, I don’t think this was that serious. It was just a sleeping drug — and it didn’t even fully knock Bell out. So it clearly wasn’t dangerous, at least not to him.

What actually stood out to me was how much focus there was on June’s reaction to Nick. It was unreal. Like, if you think about it — this episode wasn’t about Nick and June at all, and yet? They still gave us so much. They didn’t show Nick’s side, they showed him through her eyes — how it hurt her to see him with his wife, hearing the vows?? how she wanted to go to him

There was so much focus on that, it blew my mind.

What bothered me more, honestly, was that they showed Nick looking… almost happy. At peace, even? Which doesn’t track at all with where he should be emotionally. Like, we know this man is destroyed inside. He’s depressed. He’s barely holding on. We know this character. So to see him smiling on stage, being all casual with Rose — it felt off.

But maybe that’s just how June sees him now. Maybe that was the point she’s watching him from across the room and thinking: “He’s fine. He has a wife and a baby. He’s happy without me😭😭

And that hurts. Because for so long, she’s only seen his loyalty. And now it feels like that’s gone for her

4. There’s not enough time left for their arc, is there?

Actually… I think there is. If you look at it closely, most of the other storylines are already wrapped up. Let’s list them:

• Aunt Lydia’s arc? Done.

• Janine’s? Resolved.

• The revolution? Pretty much happened kinda — they wiped out almost every commander in one episode.

• Luke? Yeah, maybe not officially over, but they’ve said it a hundred times this season: they’re a broken family staying together for Hannah. That’s their entire dynamic now. And you can really feel the difference if you compare it to earlier seasons. I just rewatched S5, and back then it wasn’t nearly this clear that June and Luke were done. But now it’s obvious.

And they’ve told us — over and over again — that June loves Nick.

Nick knows it too.

So what’s left?

Two full episodes to finally close the one major arc that’s still open: June and Nick.

We still have Serena floating around, yeah, but even that feels like her arc is wrapping up. So really — this show has time. Especially if you think about how much they’ve crammed into Episodes 9 and 10 in past seasons. Like, S4? They gave us SO much Nick and June in those last two episodes it felt like a fanfic dream.

And here’s what I’ve noticed: the writers don’t like to go too dark.

They haven’t done anything near Game of Thrones level. If you look at major character deaths, we’ve only lost Fred (who was clearly a villain), and that’s it?? That’s it.

They’re giving even the evil characters redemption arcs — Lydia, Serena.

And Nick? He hasn’t even done anything that really needs redeeming. He’s just still part of the system, and his arc is clearly about waking up and choosing something better.

Another arc that still needs resolution?

The idea that not all commanders are monsters.

We even saw this theme play out in this episode, when Serena tells her husband:

“You’re a bad person because you’re a commander.”

It’s not even about specific actions anymore. The title itself = monster. (Of course he is a monster no doubt)

But that’s the label Nick is carrying.

Even though he’s never had a handmaid, and he never would. He’s never raped anyone. He’s not like them.

(Also Hannah’s arc is not resolved)

So yeah, I think we still have enough time. enough to finally give us what we’ve been waiting for:

That moment where June says, loud and clear, it’s you. only you.

[laurasimonsdaughter]

Another early 18th century literary fairy tale from the mysterious Comtesse D.L., this time one that begs for a sapphic reading:

The Princess Patientine in the Forest of Erimente

(La Princesse Patientine dans la Forest d’Erimente, published in: Les Chevaliers Errans et le Génie familier par Madame la Comtesse D***, 1709; translated by B. Stableford in: The Tyranny of the Fays Abolished, 2018, Black Coat Press.)

A cruel, greedy ogre named Insacio learns from the goddess Avarice that if he could get the princess Patientine in his power, he would become the richest of all ogres. To this end he disguises himself as a handsome prince and goes to court her. The princess and her mother the queen are charmed by him, but:

Patientine had a very strong amity for a young woman of her court named Espritée. She held the first place in her heart as she held it by her rank with regard to the queen, and she did not hide anything from her. She confided to her the nascent tenderness she had for Insacio.

Espritée fears her beloved princess’s unhappiness and tries to convince her not to accept the false prince’s proposals. But because the queen and princess Patientine both wish for the marriage, she drops her opposition and instead insists on accompanying the princess to her marital home. That home turns out to be the ogre’s horrible lair, teaching the princess how cruelly she was deceived by her new husband. She is put to work gathering herbs, brewing potions, spinning and overseeing the people he forces to dig for treasure. All the ogre cares about is her bringing him riches, not allowing her a moment’s rest:

He found her lying at the foot of a tree conversing with her dear Espritée. The furious ogre vomited all the most horrible insults at the unfortunate princess and swore to take away the only consolation she had by sending Espritée away. He would have done so right away had it not been for the fear that the young woman might tell the queen about her daughter’s woes.

Espritée stays however, until princess Patientine is discovered by Prince Courageous, who had met her at her mother’s court and had always had a preference for her. He professes his love for her, but Patientine responds with nothing but “discretion” (because she is married). However, finding her maltreated and exploited by such a cruel monster of a husband the prince wants to rescue her and asks Espritée how it might be done. Espritée tells him they ought not just to alert the queen, but also the powerful fay Clementine, who is a relative of Patientine’s. So they set off together.

The princess did not learn about her friend’s departure without chagrin, and could not understand what had obliged her to leave her, knowing the tender amity that she had for her.

The ogre’s cruelty to Patientine increases, but meanwhile Prince Courageous and Espritée arrive at the palace of the fay Clementine, who tells them she needs time to prepare the rescue of the princess. (Courageous and Espritée spend most of their time talking about Patientine, despite being offered magical entertainment.) Finally the fay declares:

“Espritée,” she said, “my charms are ready; it requires no less power than mine to extract Patientine from Insacio’s irons. He has employed all the art of Hell to form an enchantment that renders her invisible to our eyes; Avarice has given him advice, but I shall render his power useless and render the princess to you. Let us depart right away, in order to arrive at his tenebrous abode at sunrise. And you, Prince Courageous, forget your valor, and without using your arms to vanquish the monsters—they would be impotent against them—leave me the care of breaking Patientine’s chains.”

Espritée is impatient to see the princess again and when they arrive at the ogre’s lair the fay’s dazzling splendour makes Patientine drop the heavy cauldron she is holding. The fay turns the water into an endless stream, that turns to gold on the ground of the cave, making the troll wild with greed when he rushes towards the commotion. He picks up the gold “without perceiving the Fay, the prince or Espritée, who was holding the princess in her arms”. As soon as he touches the gold it turns back into water, running through his fingers.

The fay curses him to stay there forever, trying to gather gold he cannot touch, takes all his deadly power from him, and proclaims that he will lose the princess because his cruelty towards her has made him unworthy of possessing her. (That he married her under false pretences is not mentioned, nor that he is an ogre while she is human.)

The fay takes Patientine, Espritée and Courageous back to the court of Patientine’s mother the queen, who is overjoyed to see her beloved daughter again and has nothing but gratitude for Clementine, caresses for Espritée and esteem for Courageous. The tale then ends:

After having heaped the charming Patientine with benefits, the fay returned to her palace. Courageous remained at the court of the Queen of Lydia, and, adapting his passion to the virtue of the princess, adored her in secret. Espritée shared the fay’s gifts with Patientine, and, charmed to have her with her, knew no greater happiness than being loved by Clementine and her dear princess.

Interestingly this story is part of a framing narrative (The Familiar Spirit) in which a Persian woman is imprisoned by a jealous husband and wishes she had a sylph for a lover (much like the beginning of Marie de France’s Yonec). The tale of Princess Patientine, who is also mistreated by her husband, is a manuscript left by the sylph to amuse her in his absence.

The translator, Brian Stableford remarks that while the plot of an innocent young woman being married to a monster is "par for the course" for this style of 18th century conte de fée, the treatment of Prince Courageous and the ending with the focus on Patientine and Espritée certainly is not:

Tales produced at Louis XIV’s court, whether in writing or in action, were not usually allowed to end like that because it was not an ending to which royal and customary privilege was usually granted, but that one sneaked in in disguise.

I did notice that in the Comtesse D.L.'s other stories most of the female protagonists, whether they are married or single, have a female companion they love dearly, who is their only consolation during their inevitable plot-relevant suffering. But none of the companions seem as proactive as Espritée and only Patientine ends up free to reject both her evil and her worthy suitors in favour of staying with their dearest companion. The Familiar Spirit seems unfinished, but the story of Patientine is complete and thereby forms the end of the collection. So perhaps the Comtesse was simply working her way up to this particular kind of happy ending <3

[smileposting]

can you please tell us more about thespius and click clack’s weird little officecore baby. i’m obsessed with him

of course! feel free to enjoy this more finalized version of his design while you read some Assorted Fun Facts about him/related HCs of mine under the cut:

i think i do want to go with him being a he/him butch in the end. sometimes lesbians is just a guy.

works outside the grove as an adult, although he does make sure to visit often. although he's known in hobbyhoo as the most chipper square to ever square (affectionate), by his workplace's standards he's a little freaklet. this is due to A.) his sheer Enthusiasm for an extremely unremarkable office job, B.) the fact that native grovedwellers already have a bit of a Reputation in the outside world as strange and otherworldly, and C.) the fact that he Cannot understand why other people would find his background remarkable in any way.

i don't know what his name is, but i do know it's vaguely derived from the like 4-5 different first names he was given when he was born. i've been using "carter" as a placeholder thanks to @echobsilly, but i do also like "guy" just for how straight to the point it is.

since (getting into hc territory Again here) being a flesh-and-blood human means he can't spend all his time on thespius and click clack's side of reality lest he experience some funky side effects, the people of hobbyhoo had just as much of a hand in his upbringing as his birth parents did. children are Not a very common sight in hobbyhoo, but it Is a lot more relaxed about both non-monogamous relationships and family structures outside of the nuclear model, so most children born there tend to be raised communally.

thespius and click clack spent the first few years of his life a lot Smaller than they normally are, at least whenever he was with them. it was a Much bigger adjustment for click clack than it was for thespius, but it was a sacrifice he was willing to make to avoid squishing their sweet spawnling like a bug.

when he was real little, he was a painfully shy kid who spent most of his time either figuratively or literally clinging to whoever was watching him at the time. he started coming out of his shell more in his teenage years, around the same time he became more acquainted with the sunrise strip - yknow, beyond it just being a place where click clack's followers live.

speaking of thespius and click clack, i say they're kinda baffled by him, but the more i think about it the more i realize it's a Little more nuanced on both of their ends:

he actually has a lot in common with click clack in terms of skills (don't forget that click clack is also thespius' bookkeeper + head of clicky tower) but when it first became clear that working At clicky tower was not enough to sate his clerical ambitions and that what he Really had his eye on was The Very Area Click Clack Used To Work In Before Arriving To The Grove, Well. they ended up butting heads quite a bit. for context i hc that said area is Also where rick brick works before the events of GGG, so that's a bit of extra salt in the wound. anyways carter thought that click clack just didn't want him to leave the grove, but what click clack was Actually afraid of is that, given carter's jack mcbrayer-esque whimsy, the corporate world They are familiar with would chew him up and spit him out with zero remorse. they don't want that happening to anybody, of course, but Especially not their own kid.

but alas, click clack is merely the editor of this story - not the writer. and sometimes editing looks like educating your child about labor rights/unions before letting him take the reins, even if it means he fucks up the first couple of times.

thespius, meanwhile, has always been a little more optimistic about carter's ability to bounce back + likes that it was apparent that he took a Little more after clicky even back when he was small ("how boring would it be if he was just like me?") BUT one thing he does worry about is his ability to truly relate to carter - he loves his kid obviously and always does his best to make him feel at home, but the reality is they are just on different wavelengths, and thespius Hates the idea that he might be making carter feel more alone because of it. kid's talking about white collar crime to him like that one nisipisa tiktok and thespius is like doing whatever his equivalent of googling shit on your phone during a conversation so you can give the other person a response that isn't "Yeagh" is.

was i inspired by mr milchick from severance when playing around with his design more . It's Possible.

[greypistacchio]

something i've come to lose my marbles about is what @thebluespacecow pointed out in the tags when they reblogged one of my destiel posts, which is that dean would love cas no matter the vessel:

but the reason why i'm bringing it up in the light of episode 7.17, "The Born-Again Identity", is because there's a Side B to this. not only will Dean love Cas no matter the vessel - he won't love any of Cas' vessels unless Castiel is inside their body, and you can bet he's able to tell whether his angel is inside Jimmy Novak or not.

just think about Castiel's amnesiac persona, Emanuel, who wore Jimmy Novak's face and had Castiel's angelic powers. he could heal with his touch like Castiel did, he could read people's souls like Cas did, he could see the supernatural like Cas did. he had Castiel's pensive nature, he spoke with Castiel's deep voice, his gaze was Castiel-deep, he remained in awe of life as the ultimate miracle, as a work of art.

Dean sees the body that Castiel has been in for years at this point, and knows that that's not Jimmy Novak. but it only takes an interaction for him to figure out that it's also not Castiel. not quite. right away, Dean is able to carefully introduce himself in a way that doesn't rub Emanuel the wrong way nor pokes at his repressed memories. and although Dean has spent the whole season feeling really pissed at what Castiel did when he opened up Purgatory and released the Leviathans into the world, leaving Sam's mental defence against Lucifer shattered before he fucked off into the river...

he doesn't demand that he remember, nor does he start acting reckless, violent, or out of control. instead he schools his features and does what he knows, right away, is best for his Castiel by not pressuring him into remembering. but he knows that it's Castiel, he fucking knows, because why else would he open up the way he does in the Impala? why would Dean "Repressed Emotions" Winchester lay out his vulnerabilities and deepest pain for Emanuel to know, when he never trusted even Sam or Bobby with the rawest of his hurt??

and then, when Meg suggests telling Castiel about who he is so he can get back his angel mojo and help them save Sam, Dean's brother Sam, Dean's reason to live Sam. Dean refuses. of course, Cas ends up figuring it out himself, but until then Dean refuses to have any part in reminding him of who he is because he knows it won't do Castiel any good to remember what he did. as Castiel gets his memories back, Dean looks distressed. not angry at Cas now that he's back and can be held accountable for his mistakes. not scared of Castiel relapsing back to his turbo-fascist God era.

he looks distressed that Castiel is going to blame himself and go down the self-destructive rabbit hole, and when Castiel starts berating himself out loud, Dean follows him and actively argues back. and the reason he does this is as simple as it is unhinged - the moment everything clicks back into place, he KNOWS that Castiel is back. he just KNOWS it's him - not the vessel Cas favours. not an incomplete version of Cas who's devoid of his moral compass, his memories and the free will he built for himself that Dean has come to know and love him for. it's HIM, it's CASTIEL, and he's back.

fucking hell everyone the destiel of it all

[aelxnox]

I ONLY THREW THIS PARTY FOR YOU

warning: angst, mentions of abby, jesse, joel, and ellie. reader is dina's rebound, use of Y/N, pace is kinda fast because i just wanted to get this out of my drafts.

"I wish you'd get here, kiss my face.

Instead, you're somewhere far away.

My nervous energy will stay, I hope you realise one day."

- party 4 u (Charli xcx)

"Come on, people. Let's move!" you eagerly said, eyes wide and hands clasped together as you ran around the room arranging the party.

"Wait, Y/N-" you cut your friend off. "Nope. Don't have time. Gotta move." you grinned and brushed past her to arrange the chairs.

You've been planning for this party for weeks. You begged Maria, you went around the whole town to ask everyone for help, and especially—you prepared yourself.

It's been a year since the tragedy of Jackson happened. When Joel and Jesse died and Ellie left the town to chase after Abby. When she left Dina.

You wanted to give the town new memories. Good ones. You've had enough of the sadness. The grief. You wanted a new chapter with everyone. With her.

After Ellie left, you've become much closer to Dina. You were there for her through ups and downs. When she couldn't handle the pain of losing the people she loved and looking after JJ both at the same time. When all she could do was stare at the farm that Ellie loved. Her drawings. Her clothes that she left behind. And the lingering smell on the sheets that Dina refused to wash.

You were there for her through it all. And she slowly, but surely, healed with your help. Though, you haven't seen her much these past few days. She would always avoid your gaze, speak less, or avoid you completely. You wondered why, you wanted to ask her why. But you knew better than that. So you arranged a party, a party that you're throwing just for her.

The place is already set at last. The chairs are arranged, the lights are on, and the foods and drinks are by the bar. People started coming in and you can't help but let out a few deep breaths to calm your nerves.

This night is special. Because you're going to ask Dina if she would do the honour of being your girlfriend. Of being your partner in life. The one thing that you've thought of and wanted for a long time.

The place was already almost filled by the two folks and all that you have to do is wait for the love of your life.

That's what you did. You drank here and there, ate food, made small talks, and welcomed those who were just coming in.

But the clock already striked 8 and Dina still hasn't come. You were starting to get worried. Maria also had a worried look on her face. Or rather.. concern. You don't know. But she was looking at you with a frown on her eyebrows and her bottom lip caught between her teeth.

You sighed, feeling yout heart beat faster than it has earlier. You clenched your fists and slowly made your way towards the front. In the middle of the room. People's eyes turned to watch your slow movements until you came to a stop.

Your eyes looked around, teeth biting the insides of your cheeks, and breathing ragged.

"Uh.. hi." you forced out a smile and blew raspberries to relieve your awkwardness. "I threw this party to forget about the bad things that has happened to us. The tears, the screams, the pain—I want all of us to forget about it. I want us to open a new chapter, to start life with a clean slate, and just—I don't know, man. Live? Happily?" you chuckled, eyes starting to water. "B-but.. not only did I throw this party for you, my beloved neighbours. I also threw this party for the woman I love.. Dina."

You flashed everyone a relieved smile when you let out what you've always wanted to say. What you've always wanted for everyone to know.

But that smile only faltered when they exchanged murmurs and gave you looks of pity. Your brows furrowed, confused as to what was going on.

You turned to your left, seeing your best friend and Maria cautiously walking towards you. "W-what?" you breathed out, eyes flicking to the both of them.

Maria sighed, jaw clenched and eyes on the floor as if she's finding a way to tell you what she wanted to in a way that won't hurt you.

But no matter how she says it, it would still hurt you.. right?

"I'm sorry, Y/N." she whispered, eyes finally meeting yours. "Sorry for what?" you questioned, voice sounding impatient. "Dina. She's, uh.. I don't know how to say th-"

"Just tell me, Maria." you snapped, teeth gritted as you felt tears well up in your eyes. You could still hear murmurs from every corner of the room and it was starting to make you feel paranoid.

"Dina left." Maria muttered that made your breath caught in your throat. Your eyes slightly widened and you could feel your pulse slow down when her words rang repeatedly in your ears. "What the fuck do you mean?"

"Ellie's back. She came back for them." you scoffed, hand covering your mouth in disbelief. "Back? For what? She left them and wasn't even planning on saying goodbye! She left them alone in that goddamn farm and now she's back? That's it? Ellie came back and Dina just left with her?" you spat, voice filled with venom and anger that's threatening to burst. Your ears watered even more and blurred your visions, your breathing starting to get faster when you finally processed all of it.

Dina left you without saying goodbye. No thank you, no goodbye, and without trace.

"Fuck this. I know you're fucking lying." you chuckled humourlessly and left the party, feet running as fast as they could towards your house. Where you and Dina shared your moments. The intimacy, the laughters, and even the tears.

That house has seen it all. That house is your home. Or was.

You slowly opened the door, hoping for the smell of home cooked meal or Dina's perfume to welcome you. To tell you that Maria was lying. But she wasn't. Your nostrils were only filled by the candles that you bought for yourself.

You let out a choked gasp, knees trembling and you soon fell to the ground—tears spilling out your eyes like they were trying to race. You looks around, seeing that the house looks like before. Before Dina came to live with you.

"No.." you whispered as you shook your eyes as if you're refusing to believe that this is the reality. That she really did leave you.

Dina left you. But unlike Ellie, she left you with nothing. Not her clothes, her sculptures, her poems, not even her smell. You have nothing. She left. She left without a trace. And all you had was that tiny voice in the back of your mind telling you that she was there. But still, Dina became a memory that you would never forget. She didn't exist. And you have no proof that she did.

She's just a lingering chapter in your story, one you can't bring yourself to close. A chapter of what could've been that's forever stuck on repeat.

[obsidianpen]

mmkay, I think this might be the thing that's bothering me, wrt "this is Voldemort you should of expected this etc etc". In this story, the clock was rewound to tom being literally in utero, so his entire canon life experience diverges. For me (usually), part of what I enjoy about a romance with a "evil" character is to see how they can be changed for the better, because I have a personal belief that humans are not inherently good/bad and that nurture can play a part in how a person shakes out. So I (foolishly?) was hoping the story would go more this route. So the overall arc or the story feels (to me) very rooted in a kind of "original sin" narrative that I have a visceral aversion to. idk, I don't mean to say that I think v would be made totally pure and good by the power of love uwu but the vibe (to me) feels kind of nihlistic and "never give people a chance" so sorry if I came off overly negative here. I guess this story isn't really for me and I'll try to temper my expectations or just not engage in the future. ive been reading for a while now tho so I guess we'll see if I fall prey to the sunk cost fallacy. Oh also im really hair trigger over a narrative where a woman's agency is taken from her because of the state of politics here in the good ol us of aaaaaah

girl. It was rewound to in-utero for about five minutes. Then he was 23. Already split his soul twice, murdered Myrtle (which I wrote as more accidental but canonically was not), as well as his father and his grandparents. He was working at B&B with the intention of finding more objects to turn into horcruxes, meaning he was in full premeditative murder mode. So yes, I’m going to say perhaps your expectations were not where they should have been - or that tom in my story fooled you as much as he did hermione that he wasn’t actually hell bent on attaining power by any means possible. Which is fine - I wrote him that way on purpose, and you’re far from the only one who’s said ‘I forget he was Voldemort! Again!’.

‘rooted in original sin’ - don’t tell me about the overall ‘feel’ of my story until it’s over, please! I also believe humans are not inherently anything, and you’re really just showing me that you also don’t have the ability to fully place yourself in V’s mind during the events of last chapter. Of course he took away her ability to fuck him over. Girl had her wand back for five minutes and immediately seduced and mind raped the ever loving shit out of him. I’ll stop there, but yeah, your opinion is your own, and it sounds like you might be the sort of person who should only read complete fics that are loudly labeled HEA if you’re going to read a Voldemort centric story… or maybe stay away from Voldemort all together?

(And yes, I’m in the US too. It’s more important to talk about than ever imo but again, curate your own experience and smash that back button instead of writing me or any writer who dares to go there a novel next time)

[theealbatross]

Plot | They're no longer friends but unfortunately they're still soulmates.

or, Sebastian stands at a crossroads -- to get everything he wants or to get the one he loves. One choice is a mistake.

Read Part I: a habit to kick, an age old curse

Tags | angst, heartbreak, (i swear to god there will be a happy ending), when you get everything you want at a cost, emotional cheating (boy is indecisive), traumatized teenagers being stupid, low self esteem, self-sacrificing idiots in love, underaged drinking, everybody is depressed and angry and hates proper communication

[A/N: I PROMISE THERE WILL BE A HAPPY ENDING! I JSUT NEEDED TO GET THIS ANGST TRAIN GOING!!! Also I stole from a trend on tiktok so don't sue me. Stream 'we hug now' by sydney rose for full immersion. None of the photos are mine! Except the last one that's my screenshot lol]

If there is one thing that can unite the entirety of the Hogwarts student body full of such brilliantly clashing natures, it would be the Triwizard Championship. A sense of only-we-can-call-our-siblings-dickwads protectiveness sprouting on each student, even if they may deny it with a wand aimed at their jugulars.

But if there was something that can squash all that school pride and camaraderie to pieces it would be the tacit competition of finding a partner for the Yule Ball.

To be frank, there are only so much eligible bachelors or bachelorettes before you start settling.

Sebastian was going to skip that part of the ball all-together if it wasn’t for the fact that he was (a) the Hogwarts Champion (no thanks to Garreth ‘cmon-don’t-be-a-wuss-it’s-not-like-you’re-gonna-get-picked’ Weasley) and (b) his girlfriend would be properly pissed if he didn’t ask. 

It wasn’t too bad, really. Even if he didn’t win, it would still be a leg up against his numerous competitors for a space in the Auror Programme to be able to represent his school in such a distinguished competition.

He just hates the frivolity of it all – that all eyes will be on him. Prodding, uncomfortable, and unwelcomed.

A noise from behind him breaks his bitter thoughts.

Ah, but such a delightful disruption.

“Aren’t you lovely,” he muttered as Krista descended the Grand staircase, offering his outstretched hand with a smile.

“And you look dashing, Sebastian,” she giggled, standing on the tip of her toes to place a kiss on his jaw, quickly wiping the transferred stain away with her thumb.

“Shall we?” he lets her wrap her hands on his arms before leading her to the direction of the Grand Hall.

Krista Vale was a welcome surprise at the beginner of the term, a shy Gryffindor (an oxymoron he was endlessly confused by) that sent him a charmed letter to meet him after class only to boldly ask him out in the crowded hallway outside of Charms Class (there’s that Gryffindor Gall he was expecting).

In his utter astonishment (is one of the most popular girls in Year 6 asking him out?), confusion (Why!? Imelda graciously asked for him), and embarrassment (Great Merlin, everyone is staring!) he had nodded and it was a done deal.

She was a genuine breath of fresh air – beautiful, smart, and charming enough to be appealing but not aggravating. A clean slate to stack his prospects with. And if he was being truly honest, enchanting Krista Vane was just the right kind of beautiful and perfect to entice him to finally take the next step out of his social slump.

Ideally.

“Who are you looking for?”

“Huh?” he turned to be greeted by her sweet, confused face.

She smiled, cocking her head in inquiry, “Your heads been turning like Wicker for the past five minutes. Are you waiting for someone?”

No, he wasn’t. He wasn’t looking or waiting for anyone. And he definitely wasn’t cranking his head to an unholy degree like her owl likes to do just to freak him out when sending him her messages.

“I … I’m sorry I’m a bit distracted,” he lies, she doesn’t see through it. (She never does, it might just be a blessing.) “Just nervous, I’m not too good with crowds. Not usually the center of attention.”

“I find that hard to believe,” she playfully nudges his side. “It isn’t like you to be overshadowed at all.”

It was moments like these – passing words and mindless innocent quips – that Sebastian remembers how separated she was of his past life. A life where he basked in the shadow, in her magnanimous, all-powerful, kindly shadow – plenty happy to cheer on as she uncomfortably fidgets in the light, reveling in the moments that she looks back at him. (Always at him, only at him.)

He gives his girlfriend a small smile, gripping the hand on his arm tighter as if it were an anchor that prevents him from being swept away by his rushing thoughts, he hoped to bury. “You’d be surprised.”

A perfect, pretty, polished slate. He tries not to let the bitter bile in his throat rise.

The two of them fall in line, the gates open.

Sebastian turns one last time.

“I’m gonna get us a drink,” he whispers to her, letting her group of friends drown her in girlish whispers and giggles as he left. Clearly, desperate to talk about him and her relationship with a Senior. He uses it to his advantage to get away.

He tries to complete his role as the perfect boyfriend, even turning at the ideal moment to wave one last time at her before he sought out Garreth, clocking the ginger on the other edge of the room.

“Give that to me or I’m telling Imelda.”

“A please would’ve sufficed, mate,” Garreth snarled, passing on his punch to Sebastian. The taste of the strong whiskey burning his throat as he threw it down his throat in a gulp. “You alright?”

Sebastian shook his head, blinking slow and hard.

It wouldn’t be right to dump on him on this festive night that Sebastian thinks he’s losing his bloody mind. “I’m bored.”

It wasn’t anything serious.

He’s just so fucking bored. Bored and tired and bitter.

The conversations are boring, he’s grown tired of feeling like he’s playing a character he doesn’t even fucking recognize, and the horrible recognition of the growing bitter resentment he has of the one girl who saw the good in him just because she couldn’t see the bad that he was hiding (like she could, like she always would) was unfair to her and suffocating for him.

And he couldn’t fucking find you.

“Hey, Sebastian, if you’re not – I’ll call Ominis –”

Sebastian grabs Garreth arms harshly, effortlessly stopping his tracks. “Don’t – I’m fine – just … needed a break. Don’t tell Ominis.”

“Don’t tell Ominis what?” Ominis asks.

Fuck.

“Fuck! You scared me, Gaunt.”

Thank you, Garreth.

Ominis raised a brow, cocking his head as a silent command to follow. Garreth raised his hands in surrender, taking a step back before quickly bolting away (traitor) from the two as Sebastian followed his old … friend? Acquaintance? He’s still not sure. He wasn’t forgiven yet, but Ominis had implied his willingness to work on the shredded pieces of their friendship in his letter last summer on some conditions.

One of those is that there shall be no more secrets between the two of them upon further notice.

When they were in a nook outside the large enchanted ballroom, Ominis planted his cane to the ground resolutely. Sebastian took a deep breath before standing a safe distance from him, the beautiful sparkling reflection of the black lake giving no comfort to the tense situation.

Please don’t ask. Please don’t ask. Please don’t ask.

“Don’t make me ask.”

Fuuuu –

“Thank you for escorting me here, Sebastian. I had fun.”

Sebastian smiles, bending down to accept the grateful kiss but turning his head sideways so it lands on his cheeks. He knows that she’s noticing his uncharacteristically detached behavior but it just didn’t feel right.

Not tonight.

Not when his mind is running a hundred miles per second after such a productive conversation with Ominis.

“I … It’s getting to me.”

“What is? The competition?” Ominis side-eyed him in disbelief. Both of them knew Sebastian wasn’t the type to get overwhelmed by a mere contest. He never backs down from a fight. Unfortunately, Ominis would’ve added but in the middle of his friend’s meltdown didn’t seem the best time to say it.

“The competition, the – the sudden spin on my reputation that I didn’t fucking ask for, all this peacocking – it isn’t … me.”

“A good repute isn’t exactly the end of the world, Sebastian,” Ominis goaded, clearly poking on the holes of his reasoning to figure out the truth.

“It’s not that,” Sebastian snaps, nearly hissing, as he paces in short strides to try to translate his jumbled frustrations into words.

“Do you have any idea how bloody eerie it is that all these people look at me with such … awe and pride.” Even the thought of it makes him sick.

Ominis huffs at an impatient breath.

“Don’t you dare,” he points a finger. “You don’t get to act like I’m being unreasonable when I can barely recognize myself anymore! When it feels like I may have accidentally sealed myself in a role of some hero when I’m not. We both know I’m not.”

He wasn’t the hero. That was your job.

But you weren’t here – barely anywhere anymore. You aren’t here in the ballroom, or in the Great Hall, or even in the classes you both share.

It makes his skin itch, the back of his neck tingling – screaming at him that’s something is wrong but he no longer has the right nor the resources to find out what.

“You’re letting your guilt eat you up now? Why? Because the old you were so much better?” It stung, hearing how his old friend much preferred this charade over who he truly was. But Sebastian couldn’t blame him too much – he did earn every ounce of his resentment.

In Ominis' eyes, everything was going according to plan. And he cares not if Sebastian buckles under its weight, just like Sebastian didn't care when he trampled all over his oldest friend's trust.

“A false hero is so much better than the truth. And we both know that.”

“My pleasure,” he forced a smile to ease her, waving goodbye as she hesitantly looks back at him until he gently shooed her into her waiting friends. “Have a good night.”

The thud echoes off the empty wooden landing, the giant eagle glaring at him. It makes him edgy.

Though his uneasiness had less to do with how quiet the Ravenclaw Tower was and more to do with the fact that he rarely ventures to this part of the castle. The unfamiliarity, coupled with the less-than-pleasing thoughts from newfound information in his mind, wasn’t exactly a combination for comfort.

“I asked to be her partner, she didn’t want to come.”

He frowns. “Oh yeah? How’d that work out with William Frey?”

Ominis head snapped to his friend. “You’re kidding,” Sebastian blinks in attention. “They broke up over Christmas break. It’s why Frey is so persistent in crushing the Slytherins before we graduate. Sebastian, did you seriously – where has your mind been for the past months?”

… what?

What?!

Sebastian scours his mind if he has seen the two of them together at all this month. He had been so persistent in not crossing her path, turning his head the moment her name was uttered, that it must have escaped him completely.

“And here I thought you’ve truly turned a new leaf completely.”

Sebastian frowns, offended. “What the hell does that mean?”

Ominis purses his lips, hesitant and an uncharacteristically pitiful expression on his face. “Sebastian, there’s something you must know. I heard –”

“Sebastian!”

Both boys jumped in surprise, the instinct of a gentleman to always greet a lady properly standing up and the guilt of their topic had both of them comically frazzled. “I was looking everywhere for you!”

If Ominis could see he would definitely be staring daggers at his friend.

“Oh my, did they already run out of drinks?”

Oh. Right. The drinks. Ominis cleared his throat to snap him out of it. Krista seemed to have caught on to the tension between the two Slytherins and smiled the same sweet smile that was the usual balm to his gashing wounds – temporary but welcome.

“It’s okay, I was getting tired anyway. My friend invited me for a sleepover in Ravenclaw Tower,” she smiled sweetly. “Escort me?”

Ominis and Sebastian share a look. This conversation wasn’t over.

Sebastian offered his arm. He tries not to flinch.

The Blank Wall mocks him as he rounds the corner, a sliver of light from the nearest lantern slicing through it.

Maybe, there was another reason why he hadn’t returned here in a while bitter one-sided rivalry with a certain Quidditch Captain aside.

His eyes flicks on one end of the dim hallway to the other, sure that in any moment she would round the corner too, waving at him in glee, soft apologies spilling in her mouth for being late (Again, he’d fondly chastise). A smile slips out of his face at the fond memory.

Perhaps, it was in one of your treks here that you’d crossed paths with Frey. Sebastian chases the thought away.

He steps closer to the walls, phantom threads pulling him in.

Are you in here? Are you well? Is your heart broken? (Should he hex William after all?)

His fingers touch the stone, his ears press into the ridig wall. It feels alive, somehow, beating a familiar rhythm.

Would you let me in?

A door opens, he falls in.

“Se …”

The familiar voice falters, the two of you staring at each other like preys falling straight into a lion’s den – though this time Sebastian’s unsure if he was the lion or the deer.

You were clearly as bewildered as him. You face a mixture of disbelief, horror, and bafflement at the scene in front of you.

“Sebastian?”

It’s uncanny hearing his name from your mouth after so long.

“Trust me,” he groans, pushing himself up through the aches of his bruised ego. “I’m as confused as you.”

His presence here must be such a horrifying phenomenon to perplex you to such a degree because he thinks you’ve blinked once (and yes, he was counting) since this entire thing started. “What are you – where –”

The two of you turned to the suspiciously closing door. Sebastian could swear he heard the room snickering. Bastard.

“Would you believe me if I told you I was just leaning passing by and the door suddenly opened?”

“It opened?”

A half-truth but whatever saves what is left of his tattered pride. Plus, your confused face was a bit too entertaining. In the span of your doomed friendship it was usually him that had no idea what’s going on half of the time, just ready to jump when you jump and fight when you fight.

This is a welcome change.

Instead of answering, Sebastian’s attention was caught on the grand room. “You’ve been busy.”

The once rows and rows of books the two of you had devoured as you desperately searched and hoped that an answer to the source of your power could result in the cure had now turned into an actual space that could rival the Slytherin Common Room with just a hint more of you.

A flash of embarrassment trickled in Sebastian’s spine to find that you had remained in your spot when he had turned, staring at him like he was an Inferi reincarnated straight in her room. Which, to be fair, he did intrude.

Though a part of him just can’t let it go, too desperate to figure something out. After months of trying to catch a glimpse -- he finally caught you, and alone at that. Who knows when the next time will be? If there is even going to be one.

He hopes that if he somehow gets some answers, it’ll get you out of his head.

“It’s been a while, huh?” he grimaces, running his palm at the back of his head.

“It’s been,” he feels warm and cold at once when your eyes scanned his entire figure. Suddenly, feeling silly in his proper suit and tie when you are dressed so casually. He in turn took any and every detail his eyes could map. “A while.”

Then, another detail. “Your hair’s longer.”

Before his brain could stop his limbs he was reaching out, plucking out a couple of strands casually. So thirsty for information – any information – about you that the suddenly length of your hair seemed like the most interesting thing in the world.

You suck in a breath, and he curses. “My apolo –”

Suddenly, from behind him, a distant monstrous screech echoed in the room.

Instinctively, he grabs your wrist, pulling you behind him until he finally takes a moment and realizes where it had come from.

He lets out a relieved laugh and you giggle along with him.

That made him perk up.

It … really has been a while. It fills him with a deep sense of melancholy to realize how much he had miss your laugh when he used to have it in abundance.

“Do you want to visit the Vivarium?” Your eyes gleamed with humor, a stark contrast to the cold, unyielding expression you usually wore each day. “I’m sure Highwing misses you.”

Sebastian smiles, a real one. One that stretches his skin and crinkles his eyes.

As if in agreement herself, Highwing screeches again.

He unbuttons his ensemble, dragging his tie off before carefully hanging it on the arm of the nearest loveseat. He starts rolling his sleeves, a grin grows on both your faces. A juvenile type of joy that is both familiar and unfamiliar.

He wonders whether you realized that even if you had told him there was a starving, man-eating ogre inside your Vivarium, he still would have said yes.

“Lead the way.”

The brightness of the Vivarium never fails to disorient him the few times he was able to visit. The harsh difference of the moody room to the bright fields was something he won’t ever get used to.

Highwing screeched the moment she saw him, making a sharp turn and dive, landing a few feet away to jog past you as she damn near slammed into his chest. It was clear you were trying to hide your amazement when he barely flinched on impact.

He was proud of his physique which had also been the sole reason you called him into this Room in the first place.

It had been in your desperation (and inability to hide a secret from Sebastian) that you asked for his help when taking care of Highwing. She was a regal creature but she was also a wild animal that has the physical strength she sometimes forgets she owns and you’ve suffered enough bruised ribs and fractured bones to know you need someone with the physical strength to withstand hers.

But even then, it was a sharp learning curve, with Sebastian barely being able to stand his ground. Now, he plays around with her like she were some overeager childhood barn dog he used to jostle around in Feldcroft.

After giving his respects and bowing, he quickly straddled her strong back. The beast overeager at seeing her old friend and her pace too fast for any pause.

“Give me your hand!” He reached out to quickly grab and hoist you up behind him as Highwing shot up into the sky before you could settle. This forced you to hold on tightly to his waist, the two of you too busy screaming in fear and excitement to care about the sudden skinship.

He forgot he had it in him to laugh and scream so freely as Highwing chose the most precarious route, flying above the cliffs and diving down through skinny passages, clearly enjoying your torment. From the vibrations on his back, it would seem he was not alone.

Despite the stunning views in front of him he can’t help but keep looking back. Feeling like the same desperate fifth-year trying to impress his way into becoming the new kid’s favorite housemate.

And for a moment – just a moment – he sees it. The old you, one who used to brighten just at the sight of him. Ready for whatever adventure or misadventure he brings your way.

Despite the unfair odds, both of you had grown remarkably well.

He just never expected that the two of you would be apart when it happens.

He turned, managing to catch your beaming face before it fell. A haze of sadness seeming to pass over your eyes that was gone when he blinked.

“Are you alright?” he screamed to be heard despite the wind, now unable to see your face again as you looked down.

Your hold on his waist loosened. His stomach sinks.

“I’m perfect.”

“Here, watch your step.”

You’re in a sudden foul mood.

A short trip on Highwing’s back was usually just what you wanted when you needed to lift your spirits and yet he could almost see the clouds above the walls you’ve wrapped around yourself. Sebastian’s mind runs as he wonders if something happened in such a short time that has you refusing to meet his eyes again as you stare at the falling sun.

“How do you not stay here all day?” he tries to start a conversation.

He eyes you, a small weight lifting at the sight of a shy smile. “I do stay here all day.”

Sebastian realizes a second too late that he stepped on an unfortunate line.

That’s why he never sees you in the Halls of Hogwarts anymore. You were here, every day. Alone in this slice of paradise and yet somehow, something in the melancholy in your expression told him it wasn’t something you were entirely content with.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” he blinks, confused, guilty, defensive. You sit on the ledge, closing your eyes as the strong, warm breeze drifted between the two of you.

“Like I’m something to be pitied,” you chuck the word out softly yet it still felt like an accusation. “I may not be future Triwizard Champion but I haven’t fallen low enough for you to feel sorry for me.”

He flusters. “I don’t – that’s not –”

“I know.”

Sebastian blinks, heart moving twice as fast in his panic at the potential misunderstanding that could implode this small peace they’re borrowing.

“I was joking.”

A moment, a mischievous smile, and then the two of you were laughing. Sebastian slumping right next to you, laying down on the warm patch of grass, and looking up in the sky.

It was as if the two of you were making up from the years of distance as you continued laughing – the type of laughter Sebastian hasn’t had in a while. The type of joy that grows from his chest and cramps his stomach.

Of course, you know – you of all people wouldn’t purposefully misunderstand Sebastian. You of all people would know what he meant. After all, only you of all people truly know who he is. Profound flaws, jagged scars, oozing wounds and all.

He thinks it a strange thing – to only find true comfort in the one person you had left in the past.

A gentle silence follows yet Sebastian finds himself scrambling. Desperately finding the next word, another topic, something that can let him borrow more of your time.

‘How have you been?’ ‘I’m sorry about what happened with William.’ ‘Actually, I’m not sorry at all.’‘Have you grown to hate me?’

“Nothing really went to plan, didn’t it?”

Sebastian’s head snaps to you. You purse your lips, almost apologetic at the words that slipped out of your mouth.

But between the two of you, you had always been the brave one.

Sebastian shook his head, sitting back down. 

If you asked him, it had all gone to hell.

He lost Anne, lost Ominis, lost you. He lost everything and everyone that he had ever held dear, all for a cure that his dying sister refused to take out of principle. She decided death was an easier pill to swallow than to live long enough to see what her brother had become.

And if that wasn’t enough, in his haze of bitterness and anger he managed to break the final bond he had left. Lashing out on the one person who had stood by him throughout it all. Pushing and pushing even as his heart screamed at him to stop – at her to stay. Afraid that she will just be another person to walk away, jumping ahead of the pain by escaping first. By hurting her first.

“Maybe it was for the best,” he mutters, unable to look her in the eyes. Ashamed, angry – ugly monstrous emotions that reminds him why he steered clear of her.

This way, being so far away from anyone who matters, he wouldn’t be able to hurt her – the one that matters most.

Finding scraps of bravery, he turns his head, surprised to find she was already looking at him. An expression he couldn’t quite read on her face.

“I mean, look at you now,” she chuckles quietly, a hint of bitterness in her tone that triggers Sebastian’s nerves. “You’re not exactly the delinquent I meet in fifth year.”

“Delinquent is quite a stretch. “ He barks out a laugh. “You’re not doing so bad yourself. You’re giving me a run for my money in Charms and DADA.”

“ -- and Arithmancy,” She adds making Sebastian shake his head.

“And Arithmancy,” he corrects himself. “At least you still suck at Divination.”

“That doesn’t count, it’s not real.”

“I think Professor Onai and my grades would beg to disagree,” she rolls her eyes, Sebastian smirks. “Plus, I know you’re doing secret research for Hecate. So, you definitely have that Auror Programme in the bag.”

That seemed to genuinely surprise her. “When were you so nosy?”

He shrugs, “I’m a Slytherin, I like to keep an eye on my competition.”

“I’m a Slytherin.”

“That no longer counts. You’re dating a Raven –"

Another landmine. He winces before he catches himself and she falters for a second. “I’m sorry about – I heard –”

Great work, Sebastian, you bloody idiot.

“You know I could still …” he waves his wand awkwardly in the air, half-hoping she’d accept his threat. Unfortunately, she just laughed softly.

“It wasn’t his fault,” she shrugs. “It’s like you said. It was for the best.”

The gall to throw his words back at him. Sebastian would be impressed if he wasn’t a bit frustrated. “Krista is … beautiful. You’re a good pair.”

He freezes.

“T-Thanks,” The sudden reminder was like a bolt of lightning to his spine. A sinking feeling of guilt and confusion of said guilt when he technically hasn’t done anything wrong. “I’m very lucky.”

She bites the inside of her lip, nodding to herself. A habit she developed when she’s trying to find the right words to say. He would be more than happy to help but for the life of him, Sebastian was too flustered to find a way out of the awkward tension.

“I guess we got everything we ever wanted in the end, huh?” he mutters, feeling the half-lie slip out of his mouth easily despite the bile that churns in his stomach and threatens to follow.

Technically, he was right. You’re about to reach your dream. Break-up aside, he knows the most noble Wizarding family are bidding their time to throw their heirs at your feet. He knows whatever you chose to do next will be another great big adventure he will now have to read in the papers instead of your letters.

However, his heart stopped when you looked at him – almost stunned, betrayed. And he feels like he has stepped on the biggest landmine of all and it just exploded all over your faces.

Before he could backtrack, Highwing screeched from behind them. Her piercing cry was like a sharp blade to his ears as she got closer and pushier.

“I think she wants us to go back,” you murmur, quickly patting your clothes clean, turning away from him. “It’s time for her dinner. And I’m sure the rest of the students are going back to the dorms.”

Sebastian takes that as his cue, offering up his hand to help you up Highwing but you stay a distance away, arms wrapped around your body, now refusing to look at him again. And he feels like whatever improvement he felt he made on the ghost of your friendship got swept away by the strong winds.

“You go first,” you mutter. “I’ll … stay here for a while.”

“You’re not going back to the dorm?”

You look at him, and that expression he recognizes. A smile filled with deep sadness you always carried.

“I … need to write a letter,” Your smile falters. “The door should open if you ask for it.”

Even though he wants to object, an uneasy feeling building in his chest at the thought of leaving you here alone he knows when he has outstayed his welcome. And he is no longer in the position to demand that he escort you back to your room.

So instead, he just nods, jumping on Highwings back. “I … this was nice. I’ll see you around?”

Your mouth parts. As if finding the right words to say, or stopping the words from getting out. Then, you nod and it feels like a healing elixir in his veins.

“Goodbye, Sebastian.”

Highwing screeches at him, patience already thin and already preparing to fly.

Sebastian turns back when you suddenly call out his name.

So quiet, he wasn’t sure if he had hallucinated it – deluded himself into thinking that you were going to ask him to stay. That you were going to tell him that tonight will be the new foundation of rekindling any semblance of friendship, that you would tell him exactly what he needs to fix, what he needs to do that will allow him back into your life. That if you couldn’t love him then you would allow him to love you even in silence.

“She …” You bite your lips again. “You are … happy, right?”

Is he? He thinks of the proud faces of his professors, completely fooled by his sudden shift of demeanor. He thinks of Ominis, suspicious but amicable. He thinks of Krista: perfect, beautiful, enchanting Krista Vane. And he knows he’s built quite a life for himself – a life after you.

He should be happy.

But his mind flashes back. Back to the quiet nights in the Restricted Section with you, the less quiet ones running around dangerous caves and forbidden forests. He thinks of the time he had almost kissed you but instead stole a hairclip, something to remember you by. The only piece of you he has allowed himself to take.

He thinks of the first time he had seen you by the fire of the common room and how uninteresting the book in his hand had transformed when compared to you. He thinks of your first visit in Feldcroft, as you floated in front of the watch tower whose wooden ground he had worn down, pacing back and forth while he waited.

Is he happy? He looks at you, really looks at you.

No. “Yes,” he lies.

How beautiful you had looked in the rising sun, how it was the first time he realized he might just fall in love with you.

But once, I was very close.

Sebastian gives you the brightest smile he could muster even when he feels his soul rip in half.

This is for the best.

“I’ve never been happier.”

The statue in the courtyard breaks again.

But nobody noticed.

Nobody noticed the swirls of ancient magic as it leaked out of the rubble, nor how quickly the Durmstrang headmaster’s carriage flew into the heavy morning fog.

“How could you not tell me, Ominis?!”

“It was her decision to make! Just as you had made yours!”

Not even Sebastian.

Ever observant Sebastian Sallow as he runs past the fragments, past the murmuring crowds, and past Ominis’ protests as he desperately hoped to catch the first train out of Hogwarts.

After all, it is hard to care about a mere statue of a heartbroken woman when the news just broke:

The Hero has left Hogwarts.

[blakeswritingimagines]

Kink List With Clark Kent

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Aftercare is essential for Clark. He needs to feel wanted, and loved. He's a pleaser, and he needs to know he did a good job. He's a very affectionate partner, and he's needy. He's a cuddler, and he's not worried about cuddling. He's a very clingy partner, he needs the touch and affection.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Clark loves his hands, and he's a bit cocky about it. They're large, and strong. He knows how good they feel , and how soft they can be. He's also a fan of his back, the strength of his muscles.

For you, it's your skin. He loves the softness, the smoothness of it, how it feels under his large hands. He also loves every single curve and dip of your body, he's in awe of it often.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Clark cums a decent amount, but because of his stamina, it's not going to be a huge load. He doesn't really care about the placement, just where you prefer it. He thinks it's hot when you swallow though, or if you want him to pull out and cum on your body, like your chest or face.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Clark can be into light domination. He prefers to be more gentle with you, but he'd like having you tie his hands up with one of his red ties, maybe blindfolding him. He may be a little bashful about saying it, but he'd love the way that you'd take control, he'd love seeing you take what you want from him, what you need.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Clark does have experience, and he's more than confident about knowing what he's doing. He's very good with his hands, and he loves using his mouth. He may not have a huge experience, but that's because he prefers having an emotional connection with the people he's with.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Clark would like most positions if it was with you. He's definitely a fan of missionary, with you on your back. It's intimate and personal. I'm also imagining he'd like getting you on your knees, and taking you from behind. He'd love the control of it, and the view.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

It really depends on the mood, but I'm thinking Clark would be more goofy and lighthearted. He'd take the time to make jokes, or give you a goofy smile. He's comfortable with you, he can be himself, he doesn't worry about being serious 100% of the time, he knows you don't expect him to be.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Clark's a well-groomed man, he's meticulous, and he makes sure to take care of himself. He's good with shaving, and he trims and grooms himself every once in a while. The carpet definitely matches the drapes.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Clark is very intimate with his partners. He's a big fan of kissing, and making out with you. He's also a big cuddler, he loves holding you, and just laying down together when things are over. He feels at ease with you, comfortable, and he wants to make sure that you feel the same.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

It's not something he does often, but he definitely does it. He would use lotion, and he doesn't have a specific fantasy he uses. He just imagines it's you, and he thinks about you the entire time.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Clark has a bit of a Daddy kink, he's not super into it, but he gets turned on at the idea of you calling him daddy while you're together. He also has a bit of a size kink. Since you're so small and soft compared to his large and tall body, he can't help but be turned on by you being so small in his arms.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Clark prefers his home, specifically it being with you in his bedroom. It's comforting, familiar for him. It makes him feel safe to be with you there, and he knows that nobody is going to see them, or hear them.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Not anything super obvious. Sure, he loves when you wear sexy things, and he loves the outfits you put on, but it's the little things that turn him on, the teasing, and the touching. It's the way your dress hugs your curves. He loves seeing your legs in those short shorts you wear sometimes, and the way you always smell so good.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Clark isn't big on rough or extreme things, he's vanilla, and he likes to keep it that way. He wouldn't hurt you, and he wouldn't push you to do things you don't want to. He's not into anything non-consensual. He doesn't like the idea of doing something that would make you uncomfortable.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He feels like he's more of a giver, and he's good at it. He likes hearing the noises that you make when he's between your thighs, and he doesn't mind you pulling his hair. He loves being able to make you feel good, and he loves the taste of you.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

It depends on his mood, but most of the time, he enjoys taking it slow and sensual. He likes to spend time with you, and he enjoys taking the time to just feel you, and be with you. He enjoys the little kisses and touches as well.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Clark would enjoy a quickie every once in awhile. He's busy a lot, so the quick, intense moment of intimacy is a nice way to just feel connected to you. However, he loves the times he spends with you, when he can take his time and just enjoy you.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Not really, he's not really into trying new things, or doing things to make you feel uncomfortable. He's more of a homebody, when it comes to sex at least. He feels comfortable with what he has and what he knows. He's not against trying new things if you bring it up, and he's open to it if you're comfortable with it, but he's not going to bring it up first.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He has pretty insane stamina, he could probably go for several rounds. He's never measured, but he can last at least a couple hours without stopping. He may need a short break in-between a few rounds, but he's good for long as you want him.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He doesn't own any, but he wouldn't be against it if you brought some. He would love using them on you, because you enjoyed it, but otherwise, he's not super into them. He doesn't mind using his hand and mouth instead.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Clark wouldn't tease you too much, but he would do it occasionally, just to make you squirm a bit. He does enjoy seeing you all flustered and worked up, so he can get a bit mischievous if he feels like it.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He isn't super loud, but he does make sounds. He's definitely a moaner and he's not afraid to let you know how good you feel, or what he wants you to do. He can be a bit louder and more worked up when you take control.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Clark loves watching you get dressed, he enjoys seeing you put on your clothes in the morning, or seeing you put on a new outfit. When it's a night out, and you're wearing something special, he's all over you, and he can barely contain his feelings. He loves the way you look for him, and he's turned on by how beautiful you look when you dress up.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

I’m going to say he’s above average, maybe a little over 8 inches, but not much more. He’s a decent thickness, and it’s a pale like the rest of him.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Clark’s drive is pretty high, and he definitely needs a release, even if it’s by himself sometimes. He loves being with you, and he wants it often. It may be even higher than yours, he loves touching you and getting off with you.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Clark’s drive is pretty high, and he definitely needs a release, even if it’s by himself sometimes. He loves being with you, and he wants it often. It may be even higher than yours, he loves touching you and getting off with you.

[itissadbutitsmy-artblog]

so like i think candy people can go wizard but i dont think they know what to do. they know they can’t just ignore it. there’s magic users in other places right? other places, where they use magic openly and their ruler isn’t going to maybe pull them into her lab and try and cure them of it? but leaving the candy kingdom, where the ruler is a) their mother and b) Ruling By An Iron Fist and tracking their every movement, whether or not they consciously know this, isnt really an option that actually even crosses their mind.

also when cinnamon bun left to be with flame princess, pb literally stormed up to him in front of an entire kingdom of people he was hoping to establish as his new social circle, and yelled at him that she was taking him home right now and that he looked ridiculous. i dont know if this is something that the other candy people know or care about bc i dont think they generally want to leave and i KNOW they do not respect cinnamon bun. but its not like its weird pb behavior. of course she would yell at them in front of their new family and drag them back to her kingdom by the ear. so whats the point of running away if they ever want to.

pb BELIEVES in magic, its REAL, and she doesnt HATE it, she just doesnt RESPECT it. I think its reductive to say she hates it. she hates wizards, because she thinks they spit on the good name of science and are irresponsible, but she doesnt hate the idea of having a little fun with your craft. she just doesn’t get the appeal and she openly disrespects it

so if any of her candy people ever start developing magic they just smother it down and try to behave because they KNOW that is not something pb put in them. and if pb didn’t put it there, and it’s so big and scary and serious inside of them, then they have to do something about it. but she can’t find out. sniles so sweetly.

[luxe-pauvre]

Do you have any advice for dealing with the feeling of being "behind my peers", as well as generally worrying about the feasibility of a career in academia? Despite my excellent academics I've had to take multiple years off university for various reasons, which means I'll be getting my PhD at 31/32. That's far older than average in my country, and most have to add 7 years of postdocs on average before landing an assistant professor position. Research-only positions are even more coveted. Both are criminally underpaid. This causes some self-doubt and no small amount of anxiety, though I'm reasonably certain it's the right path for me. Which is not to say that I don't have a plan B, I'm lucky to be in a field where it's easy to transition into industry. I'd really appreciate any insight or advice you might have!

I don’t have advice as such, as I don’t experience those feelings. All I have is an alternative perspective that might help you question yours.

I’m also getting my PhD at 32. I had years out prior to my bachelors as I was unwell, I had interruptions to my PhD unwell, I started in 2020 under lockdown and lost a year of data collection so there were extensions, etc. etc., but it’s never once entered my head that I’m “behind”. Life happens.

And behind in comparison to who? Why are you making that comparison in the first place? What does it actually mean to be behind? Hypothetically let’s say you are, does it really matter? Does anyone care? No one I know cares how you old you are. I’ve got “standard” age PhD students in my lab, me a little older, not that anyone has ever noticed, a 38/39 year old on their second PhD after doing their first one, working in that field for a bit, and realising it wasn’t for them, and no one cares as long as the work we’re doing is good work. And that's the same all the way up the chain. There are very few jobs where age makes a fundamental difference to your ability to do it. If you were saying you'd just started gymnastics and wanted to go to the Olympics this would be a different conversation, but in academia you don't have to look too hard to find someone that didn't have the "standard" straight-through experience.

I think what I’m saying here is, ask yourself why does this matter to you? I know that I love the research that I do, that while I’ve worked hard to get where I am I’m super lucky to be able to do it, and that I will keep going with it for as long as it makes me happy and hopefully I’ll progress through the ranks in the process. But also maybe I don’t, and that means I only ever rotate around endless postdocs until I’m 65, but if that makes me happy and I can survive, I’ll do it. Or maybe what makes me happy now doesn’t make me happy in 10 years time, so I switch into industry because I have different priorities.

If someone were to think that was stupid or to say to me that I was behind, I’d be happy to argue it out with them, but it also wouldn’t matter to me if I couldn’t convince them because I’m happy and secure in the choices I’ve made. They are the right choices for me. As long as you’re making the right choices for you at the time you make them, and you’re happy with the process of those choices not just the outcome (i.e. you enjoy the work, you don’t just want the title of Professor), all concepts of “behind” and “feasible” should fade pretty fast.