#but also i love to complain about everything and all of my writing is fuelled by going on AO3 and dramatically going ''this is all dogshit'' | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

butsomeofusarelookingatthestars · 4 years ago

Text

Forgotten: Part 1

During one of the BAU’s most difficult cases, Luke meets a dedicated journalist who is committed to fighting for the underdog. Reluctant to trust the authorities at first, she finds a friend in the compassionate FBI agent. But as they draw closer, the challenges only grow with fear, hostility and a relentless unsub whose attention turns to her…

AN/ I actually did it! Here’s Part 1 which hopefully sets the scene. I’m hoping to update this fortnightly on a Sunday evening. Big plans ahead! I hope you enjoy. Please let me know what you think x

A heavy sigh escaped your lips, your back aching as you leant back in your chair to survey the empty room. The warm glow of your desk lamp was oddly comforting in the dimly lit office. Darkness pressed up against the windows and you could hear the bustling street outside, cars beeping and late-night revellers bristling with delight as they poured into the local bars.

A part of you wished you were alongside them.

Ping!

You glanced at your computer screen, your lips curving into a small smile as you scanned the email that had just come through. Another piece of the puzzle.

Questioning and investigating had always been interests of yours. Even when you were young, your childhood games had consisted of mystery solving. Every school report had highlighted your natural curiosity and ability to challenge authority...or ‘backtalk’ as the teachers had put it. But journalism hadn’t even crossed your mind until your English teacher had encouraged you to take a work experience placement at a local paper.

You hadn’t looked back since.

The long hours at university, the endless reports and tiresome essays had all been worth it to achieve your goal of becoming a fully fledged journalist at an independent news association. It wasn’t as glamorous as the movies made out. Most days were spent crammed into tiny offices with colleagues, chasing dead-end leads or struggling to piece together articles in time to make deadlines.

Pressure came with the job, but you had increasingly found yourself addicted to the thrill of uncovering secrets, holding the powerful to account and sharing truth with others. If you could make a difference in your own little corner of the world, you had to do it.

It gave you a purpose.

“Shouldn’t you be out with your friends?”

You almost jumped in surprise, too caught up in your emails to notice your boss staring at you in amusement from across the office. He gave you a knowing grin.

“Another late night Y/N? I admire your determination, but you have to take a time out sometimes.”

“I’m just finishing up a lead.” You explained, gesturing at your computer. “I’ll be done soon.”

He flashed you a disbelieving look. He really did know you too well.

“I promise.” You told him, smiling softly as he nodded in agreement.

RING

You glanced down at your phone, your heart sinking as you recognised the Caller ID. Apparently your boss sensed your change of mood straight away.

“I bet I know who that will be.” He said, gazing at you sympathetically. “Make sure you call it a night afterwards. You need some time to yourself sometimes Y/N.”

You nodded in agreement, your fingers already itching to take the call. “Will do.” You gave your boss a small smile as he waved goodbye, flashing once last concerned glance behind his shoulder as he disappeared into the elevator.

You took a deep breath before accepting the call. “Hi Anne, how are you doing?”

The familiar guilt began to build up as you heard her strained voice. It never got easier talking to victim’s families. In fact, with each one it got harder to accept that yet another family was experiencing unimaginable pain.

“I know. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for you.” You spoke softly, pausing for a moment as you heard her begin to cry. “Have you spoken to the support worker I put you in touch with?”

Luke stifled a yawn, rubbing his eyes furiously in an effort to stay alert. It was late even by his standards, but he desperately wanted to finish writing up his reports for the day. For some reason, despite being a member of the BAU for the past year he still felt the need to impress.

To go above and beyond had always been part of his job. Besides it was nothing compared to the 75th Ranger Regiment. At least this job didn’t involve warzones. Sometimes he felt himself missing the action of the military, but soon after joining the BAU he had realised how rewarding it was to work closely with his colleagues.

Hunting down criminals was something that came naturally to him. Protecting others was something he felt like he had to do.

He let out a sigh as his gaze fell upon his file. The victims’ names appearing to loom out at him. The downside to the job? At times, it did also mean getting too close for comfort with unsubs. Getting inside their heads became increasingly uncomfortable the more he got to know victims and their families.

“I know why I’m here...why are you?”

He jumped at the sound of Emily’s voice, flashing her an amused grin. Trust his Unit Chief to be the only FBI superior complaining about their team working late.

“I just wanted to finish up before heading home.” He told her, chuckling as she shot him a disbelieving look.

“Well, consider it an order from me to go. Linda Barnes can’t force us all to stay chained to our desks.” She joked, rolling her eyes sarcastically at the mere mention of their troublesome superior. “Besides I’m sure Roxy will be happy to see you!”

Luke let out a bark of laughter. The sound of his mum complaining about him settling down popped into his head. When will you have someone other than Roxy to return home to mi hijo?

He nodded in agreement. “I’m sure she will.” He replied, holding his hands up in defeat. “Just let me finish this update for one of the families first.”

Emily’s eyes softened at his words. She gave him an understanding nod. She knew how much it meant. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do.”

Luke gave her a small smile of appreciation before he turned his attention back to his work. It was important to him to communicate with families - whether it was an update about court proceedings against unsubs, appeals information or just to check in with them at difficult times.

It wasn't as if he were addicted to his job. But it could at times be all consuming. After all, it was difficult not to think about the dark nature of the BAU and the suffering of victims.

Perhaps it had been what had happened to Phil that fuelled his pursuit? He knew what the pain of losing a love one felt like. So, he wanted to do everything in his power to ease the suffering for others.

He understood. It would never be enough.

“I bring spoils of victory!” You sang happily as you entered the newsroom, a box of delicious smelling doughnuts in hand. “I got the best of Maxine’s freshly baked goods.”

Cheers rung out and you laughed softly at the sheer delight on your colleagues faces. It was always appreciated to have a special pick-me-up in the office. The job could feel overwhelming at times and, despite the pressure, you all pulled together and worked closely to help one another.

Showing your affection with sugary goods was always well received.

“You’re the best Y/N!” Your friend Jennifer exclaimed, grinning widely as she eagerly picked up a doughnut from the box you offered her. “Anything you need help with this week, just give me a shout.”

“Careful, I may take you up on that.” You replied, flashing her a teasing smile. The two of you had always been close friends and, as colleagues, you worked together well. You were there when she needed a push and she was there when things got tough you...which seemed to be happening more recently.

“Please never move jobs Y/N.” Archie, a fellow journalist who covered local politics, joked as he enthusiastically tucked into his selection. “This office wouldn’t last a minute without you...or the doughnuts.”

You rolled your eyes playfully before taking a seat at your desk. A contented smile crossed your face as you took in the jubilant atmosphere. It was nice to have days like this.

Unfortunately, it didn’t last.

Your phone rung out loudly prompting Archie and Jen to flash you nervous glances. But you ignored them, taking a deep breath before answering the call.

"Y/N Y/L/N speaking...”

“There’s a breaking story.”

It was another early start for the BAU team as they sat around the bullpen. They had all gotten the dreaded message from Emily earlier that they’d received a new case. However, she seemed to have been trapped in meetings with the FBI higher-ups for the past thirty minutes...which meant there was something much bigger at play than a regular case.

“I’m just saying newbie, if you insist on wearing shirts like that? Expect it to be noted.”

Luke rolled his eyes holding up his hands in playful surrender. “Ouch! I didn’t realise my fashion taste would be such an offensive to you Garcia.”

The trendy blonde surveyed him with curiosity, flicking her fluffy pen at his chest teasingly. “You call a grey plaid shirt fashion taste newbie?”

JJ flashed Luke a sympathetic glance, but still joined in with the rest of the team’s laughter as Luke merely shrugged his shoulders in defeat and chuckled warmly. Even when he was being teased for his lack of interest in clothes, it felt nice to be part of the team.

Sadly their good news didn’t last as Emily approached them, glancing in concern as her FBI superiors filed out of her office. Linda Barnes flashed them an icy glare before moving towards the exit.

“We have a case. It’s a bad one.”

AN/ There you have it! Spoiler: their paths will cross haha! Sorry for the delay. This was meant to be up on Sunday, but I’m still working full-time so by the time I get to the weekend I’m usually too exhausted to write. Thanks for sticking with me. I know there’s not much going on, but please let me know what you guys think - storyline, characters, length of chapter (I’m agonising over this haha!), whatever you want to share. x

Taglist:

@aimzonicles97, @reidsstudies, @exceptionallytiredzombie, @illegalcerebral, @captaintightpants58, @abitofeverythinggg

#criminal minds #luke alvez #luke alvez x reader #criminal minds imagine #luke alvez imagine #emily prentiss #spencer reid #jennifer jareau #penelope garcia #matt simmons #david rossi #tara lewis #miniseries #forgotten

85 notes · View notes

woopboopboop · 5 years ago

Text

Golden

Note: Hello! This is my first writing ever despite being on this platform for quite a long time now. I thought of sharing my interpretation of Harry’s Golden track in a form of a fic. Hope you enjoy it! :)

Update: Hoooooooly damn! I never thought this will reach even a hundred notes when I posted it. This make me !!!!! really hard! I- OHMYGOD. Thank you for starting my year with a such a good vibe. Much love!

“I don’t know,” he sighed while talking on his phone. She shouldn’t have eavesdropped on their conversation but when she heard her name mentioned during the call, her curiosity got the best of her. Now, whoever is on the phone might have a little sneak peek of what their relationship looked like for the past months. “Well, one way or another she needs to let me in. This won’t work if it’s only one sided,” he continued on, cradling his phone between his shoulder and ear while putting a leather-bound journal into his bag.

This won’t work if it’s only one sided.

That sentence kept on getting louder and harder to ignore throughout the day. And it totally didn’t help when she was left alone in the house with her lingering thought after Harry left for studio. At first, she just shrugged it off but then she couldn’t help but think of the things that she might have done wrong during their relationship. So far, their relationship had been nothing but great. All of the exchanged conversations and lovely gestures were like second nature to them. She knew that she was treading through the relationship carefully, not being really open about her feelings but she thought she will ease into it slowly and Harry being a kind human he is, didn’t seem to be complaining about it. In the midst of her thought, she didn’t realise that she was walking towards the sofa in the living room causing her to bump into it and losing her grip of the mug in her hand. The sound of the glass breaking after the mug came into contact with the floor was just the tip of the iceberg for the series of anxiety fuelled things that were going to be happening that day.

One sided.

At least that’s how he felt about their relationship right now. For him, when you form a connection with someone, it is all about balancing the giving and receiving scale. Despite his packed schedule, he would find a way in which he can give his time as well as self to her and so does she. The girl gives him a comfortable space where he is welcomed with so much love and no judgement. Throughout knowing each other, he had been open about his life to her. He would talk about the most personal things to the most ridiculous things and she would always be there, receiving what he has to offer with open arms. That is why he sees her as one of the lights in his life and people might think that it is a bit too much. Truthfully, he sees her as the sun that he is destined to meet all along in his dark journey on earth. And just like the sun, there is a part of her that he can’t really see. Despite being open about what is happening around her, she is not really open about herself causing Harry to be left in the shadow. If felt like she was holding herself back. That is when the scale of receiving and giving is not so balanced.

That day had been bad when she didn’t only break the mug this morning, but she also couldn’t seem to do the house chores properly. Now, it had been progressing to be the worst when the steak on the stove burned when she was cooking dinner. “For God’s sake what the hell is wrong today!” she yelled, frustrated over things that had happened today and her inability to keep herself calm throughout the day. It felt like her heart was trying to escape her body every time she thought about the call this morning. She almost threw the pan into the sink but then regained some control over the overwhelming feelings that resided in her. She didn’t realise that a tear escaped her eyes until the droplet landed on her hand while she was holding onto the sink, trying to calm herself.

Didn’t want to make a huge deal out of all the mess that was happening outside and inside of her, she decided to put everything aside. Reaching for her phone, she asked if Harry wants any take away food for dinner. It was about five minutes after she finished cleaning the kitchen when she received two texts from him.

From: Harry

07:03

S’alright, love. Had my dinner with Mitch.

07:03

Gonna be back late. Don’t wait up.

To: Harry

07:05

Alright. Stay safe, babe.

After sending the message, she decided to go shower and had dinner by herself. Leaving her and her thoughts once again.

Before Harry, there was literally no one in her life. To be honest, she didn’t really see the point of being in a relationship at first. For her, all of these are just a huge never-ending loop. Every single time is exactly like the one before. You will meet someone, get attached to them and then one of you leave. After that, you will start from the bottom again. “That’s a very negative way to look at it,” he said when he heard her opinion about love during her visit to his place. She shrugged from across the table and continued, “Well, that’s the truth isn’t it?” He looked at her intently, bottom lip tucked between his teeth as if he was trying to find the most suitable answer for the question. When his gaze lingered too long on her, she muttered, “Quit looking at me like that.” Avoiding his gaze when she felt her cheeks getting warmer. A small smile formed on his lips and he said, “To answer your question just now. Maybe.”

That was way before they were engaged in a romantic relationship. At that moment, Harry wanted to tell her that love is way beyond the simple stages that she had arranged it to be. Love is alluring and electrifying. Unfortunately, he somewhat got lost when he stared into her eyes and decided to tell that to her in another time. Such as the time when he confessed her about his feelings towards her. She did look like she was about to dash out of his house that day but he quickly said that, “I understand if you don’t feel the same. It’s okay. Just thought that I get it out of my chest.” He didn’t want to scare her but at the same time he needed to tell her about his feelings. They were quiet for a moment before she told him that she has the same feeling but doesn’t really know what to do with it. Both of them giggle at her statement. She hesitated for a while when he asked her to be his lover. She worried if this relationship took a wild turn and left both of them heart broken in the end. But then she thought, maybe she could give love a fair chance this time. So, she did.

She huffed at the thought. Maybe she shouldn’t have given it a chance. The very thing that she tried to avoid from occurring to her, which is being heart broken, was looming over her. She felt her eyes sting as she heard This won’t work if it’s only one sided at the back of her head. What is one sided though? She did her best to love him despite her lack of experience and the fear of being heart broken. Will he end it? Will she be the one who ended it? He did sound like he was hurting when he talked over the phone this morning. Maybe it is better to break things off if she is going to hurt him further more? Her thought got distracted when she heard a loud footstep approaching their shared bedroom. Seconds later, Harry tall figure entered the room. “You back early?” she said after checking the time on her phone. “Yeah. Got a lot of work done and thought that we’ll continue it tomorrow,” he answered, walking to the vanity mirror. She knew that it might not be the perfect time to ask him about what happened since tiredness was very much present in his face and movements.

He removed the rings that adorned his fingers and set it carefully on the vanity. She cleared her throat to break the silence in the room and found a courage to look at his face in the mirror. When both of their eyes met, she carefully asked him, “Are we okay?” “Yeah. Why?” By this time, he was walking towards the bathroom to do his nightly routine. Her mind was racing a hundred miles per hour, trying to come up with a reason and then managed to say, “Nothing.” Her fingers messing with the blanket covering the lower part of her body. She never like confrontation in her life. Ever. So, when situation like this comes up, she would rather just sweep it under the rug and let it be there. But she didn’t know what made her so brave tonight. Maybe she was just desperate for some answers.

“I actually heard you while you’re on the phone this morning,” she blurted when he stepped out of the bathroom. His eyes were basically just staring at her right now through his tousled hair and she felt so small on the bed, so she shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. “I heard that you said it won’t work if its only one sided,” she continued. Harry was very much confused as to what she was saying few seconds ago but now he caught up on what she was trying to tell him. “Well, if you could let me in more than maybe it will not be so one sided.” He really didn’t not want to sound nonchalant about the situation but he had been imagining just cuddling and sleeping since he got the privilege to go home early. However, he was confronted with this matter tonight. He made it clear in his voice that thing could be discussed tomorrow but she still pushed for some clarity. “What do you mean? Do you feel like I’m not giving enough?”

“Maybe. Look, I don’t want to talk about this right now. I am kinda tired.” Without saying any other words, he just slipped into bed and went to sleep. Before this they would have little arguments but they always managed to say sorry before going to bed but not tonight. She mustered whatever that was left in her to not breakdown by the overwhelming waves of emotions and quietly said, “Oh. Okay. Goodnight.” He didn’t reply, giving her some illusion that he was already deep in slumber. In fact, he was still a bit awake even though his droopy eyelids were forcing him to venture into dreamland. Feeling the cover moved and some shifting from her side, he looked over his shoulder to see that she was facing away from him.

When waking up the next day, her heart was still beating hard at the thought that sooner or later she needed to talk to him about what was happening yesterday. Harry, on the other hand, felt bad about last night. He wanted to talk about it but didn’t know how to approach her. As his alarm rang early in the morning, he cleaned up a bit and head to the kitchen to make both of them breakfast. “Morning, love,” he said, small smile on his face when he saw her entering the kitchen. She smiled back knowing that last night didn’t affect his gentle small gestures to her, “Morning.” They had small talk over their breakfast but every time she tried to steer the conversation to what happened yesterday, he seemed to be lost of words. Again, she didn’t want to be pushy about the entire thing and thought that she would confront him after their breakfast.

“Can we talk? About last night?” she asked, following him from behind as he walked into the living room. “Yeah, sure.” He sat on the corner of the sofa facing the television while she took a seat on the opposite corner. “Okay,” she muttered under her breath, collecting her courage. The nervousness was boiling inside her stomach and she tried to distract herself by tucking away a piece of stray hair behind her ears. “Are we okay?” her voice sounded so soft as if she was afraid she was going to break the television screen. He was a bit shocked by her voice but that didn’t stop him from asking her, “What do you think?” “You did say that I’m not giving enough. I thought I already gave my all. I’m trying to-” Her words came out desperate and she felt her heart picking up its pace when Harry said, “You thought?” Every word were emphasised and the worst thing was that he didn’t even look at her.

He thought that he would be the one approaching her about this matter. When she first started the conversation, he was a bit taken aback because he was not prepared. The only big question that he had in his mind at the time was “Why are you holding yourself back?” Throughout their relationship, both of them had been completing each other very well but as they were falling deeper into it, it is as if she was holding herself from falling with him. There were times when he thought that maybe she needs time, so he gives her time but slowly he began to question if he is unable to give her a safe and comfortable space to fall. “I’m sorry if you feel like everything is one sided when you’re with me. I didn’t mean to.” His heart ached hearing her apology. He wanted to make it clear it’s not a big deal. That she had been nothing but a sun guiding and supporting him through his darkest hours of life. That she had been nothing but golden. That the only thing that he wanted from her was for her to open up more. Let him in. It would not be enough if she knows who he is but he doesn’t know who she is. The words were fighting in his throat begging to come out but their attempt failed when he could just respond back with, “Hmm.” He could tell that she was getting frustrated when her eyebrow knitted together and a loud sigh escaped her mouth.

“What do you want me to say, Harry?” She was already on the edge. What is it that he wants from her? The tears were threatening to spill out but she held it in. From the corner of her eyes, she could see that he was leaning forward now both arms resting on his thighs. In seconds he was standing, walking away. “This is it then? Is this how break ups happened?” she thought. As his figure walking further and further away from her, she decided to speak up, “You know damn well Harry that I’m afraid to be in this relationship.” It’s true. More than anyone else, he should’ve known this when she had a negative overview of romance. And the reason as to why she agreed to be with him is because she overcame her fear of love and decided to give it a chance. That stopped him on his track and what he said next wasn’t what she was expecting. “Then why are you here?”

He didn’t shout or scream at her when he asked that but the question sure did leave a deafening impact on her. She felt her ears ringing and her sight became blurry. She wanted to walk towards him and scream in his face but she only managed to look at him in the eyes from where she was sitting on the sofa. “Because you convince me that love is beyond what I thought it was. That love is beautiful. So, I thought that I- I give it a chance. And- and when it comes from a person like you, I thought I could finally fall into someone safely but I guess not.” Her breathing grew heavy from each word and she felt like burying her head in the ground. With every word, he closed the distance between them and stood in front of her. She could feel him towering over but decided to fixed her gaze on the floor. The question of his inability to give her a safe and comfortable space to fall had been answered by her. “So, she did trust me,” he thought but there’s one more question left.

“You barely tell me what you feel about this relationship. Yes, we did what other couples do but I still feel like you’re hiding something from me. Like you’re holding yourself back. If you trust me for giving you a space to fall then why don’t you do it?” He sounded so hurt and a little bit offended. To make the matter worse, when her eyes met his, both of them mirror the same sad expression. Her head was pounding since she forced herself not to cry and she couldn’t help but let one or two tears making their way down her cheeks. She quickly wiped it away with the back of her hand. “I am trying to open up more. But it can be hard sometimes.” She saw Harry nodding his head and took that as a sign to continue. “What if- what if I fall and be completely open then suddenly one day you just left?” She shook her head at the horrible thought. “I’ve seen how it affects people, Harry. I’ve seen how it affects you. You were so heartbroken and I swear I could see the glint of it in your eyes even in the beginning of our relationship.” It’s true. She saw what love can do to people. Both parties were so open and when things came crashing down, there is nothing left but broken hearts.

He was listening so intently, trying to process the whole scenario. Initially in their relationship, he still felt the sting of heart break after his last break up. But that didn’t mean that he was walking into the relationship because he wanted something to distract him from it. He walked into the relationship because he thought that it was time and he found the perfect golden girl for him. The room was filled with the humming of heater and sniffles from her. “Why don’t you tell me that you feel that way?” His features soften when she saw her shrugged. She looked so lost. “I don’t know. I just-” She was cut off mid-sentence when she felt Harry held her hands. She could see that his eyes were glossy and his cheeks had a tint of red. “You can talk to me. You know that right?” She nodded her head. The beating of her heart started to slow down and her breathing stabilise.

He never knew that she was still very much hesitant about opening up about herself to him. “I’m sorry, Harry. I- I can leave if that’s what you want?” She was standing now, ready for anything that is awaiting to happen. He never thought that she would even consider leaving as an option. “What? No! No! I want you to stay. Do you not want to stay?” The last part came a bit hesitant as he was afraid that she would say yes. What would he do then? His fear of being alone and not being able to love someone, not being able to love her came creeping in. His grip on her hands were tighter, afraid if she would just turn into dust and disappear in front of him. A shocked look was present on her face and she shook her head. “Yes. I mean, no. I want to stay. If you want me too?” “’Course I want you too, love. What makes you think that I don’t want to?” They were closer now, just inches away from each other. “I mean, it had been one sided relationship, isn’t it?” She spoke softly. Harry titled her chin so that he had a clear view of her eyes. “That’s before I know what you feel. Now that I understand a little bit more, it’s not as one sided anymore.” His lips forming an assuring smile for her. Every word laced with affirmation and understanding. She smiled back, relieved that whatever heavy feelings surrounding both of them starting to fade away.

Sensing that she was not tensed as she was before, he pulled her into a hug. Both of them stayed in each other arms for quite some times. “I know I need to open up a bit more. Just- just give me time, okay?” she spoke into his chest, breaking the silence between them. “Whatever you want, love. I’ll be here.” He pulled them apart for a bit, kissing her forehead. He wanted to say that he will lose his way without her and that he doesn’t want to be alone, not without his golden girl. However, he kept the words to himself. Words can only go so far and to make sure this relationship remained strong, both of them have to balance out the giving and receiving scale. And he believed they will balance it in the near future.

For now, the most important thing is that they are together.

Harry and his sun.

#writings #golden #harry styles #harry styles writings #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles angst #harry styles x reader #harry styles fic #one direction #one direction imagine #one direction imagines #one direction preference #one direction preferences #golden track #fine line album

286 notes · View notes

alinaastarkov · 5 years ago

Note

Honestly, like ... it's funny cause I actually liked Sophie before Season 8 aired, because I wasn't paying that much attention to her and her behavior outside the show, you know? Other than Emilia and Kit's interviews I wasn't really following the any of the actors outside of the show. But after the finale aired and everything exploded and fell to pieces, it was like a magnifying glass was put on all of them for me. And then I saw the shit Sophie had been saying for YEARS. (1/?)

Like how it wouldn't be fair if Daenerys got the iron throne because she had dragons, that Daenerys couldn't have EvErYtHiNg - as if she was personally affronted that Daenerys was so popular. And it was the same with Arya! She was constantly saying Sansa was the best character (and like, ok, a lot of actors probably say that about their characters, fine), but also going on about how 'smart' Sansa was and complaining that she wasn't as popular as other female characters (2/?) because she didn't 'act like a man'.

Thank you so much for this long ask! To keep things organised, I am roughly going to answer this in sections.

I agree with you. I did not pay much attention to any of the cast really, and I’m still not hugely bothered about them. GOT is done and I rarely get invested in cast members. It’s characters I’m interested in. But I remember randomly coming across bts footage of the Jon/Arya hug from season 1, and I just fell in love with those two actors in particular, and I happened to see an interview with Emilia and adored her too. And that’s when I happened to see more of this cast and understand what they were like. But with the final season, and seeing pretty much everyone’s reactions that ranged from forced awkward laughter to straight up saying it sucked, it became incredibly obvious when any single person reacted positively. Even former cast members were saying it sucked, and celebrities not even involved were dragging it, so Sophie’s words on this topic (which I will touch on in a second) were put under a microscope, and subsequently everything she had said before was too. Her hatred for Dany was definitely fed to her by D&D, but there was definitely a jealousy about how other characters and actors were more popular than her. But her comments about female characters in general were so toxic.

I was even annoyed for a hot minute with Maisie too, because of all the shit she and Sophie said about Daenerys while promoting S8 (calling her power-hungry and saying she was worse than Cersei). BUT THEN. I noticed exactly what you said in an earlier post about Maisie going along with WHATEVER Sophie said. And when I re-watched those interviews it was always SOPHIE saying those shitty things, and Maisie just agreeing. (3/?) I even saw the interview you mentioned where Maisie kept changing her answers to match Sophie's. They're friendship comes off as really uneven and toxic, tbh, cause it felt like Sophie was CONSTANTLY running roughshod over Maisie.

Yeah, Maisie’s attitude initially seems off as well, especially with regard to Daenerys. But as you said, she never says this sort of thing in solo interviews, or interviews with other actors. It’s such a shame that there are so few without Sophie, so we rarely get to see what she’s like on her own. It would be one thing I suppose if Maisie gave similar answers to Sophie without much prompting, but she always has one answer, then Sophie speaks, and she changes it based on what she says. That really clearly shows you she is amending her behaviour to fit in with Sophie, which is not good. It does feel so uneven and I’ve had friendships like that and it took a while for me to cut them out. Once I did I felt much better. We obviously don’t know the ins and outs of their relationship, but it does feel very similar.

Sophie's also made uncomfortable comments dealing with racism in the past, she claims to be an advocate for mental health but then behaves abominably towards her castmates (4/?) (making insensitive comments about Kit's drinking during an interview, saying shit about Daenerys when she knows how much that could affect Emilia, etc.), the way she said she "loved" Sansa's rape scene because of how twisted it was, all that in addition to how she defended the show's final season (with it's STRONG xenophobic, isolationist undertones) even though she didn't even watch the last 2-3 episodes (5/?) - how she seemed so smug and happy about the (tone-deaf) ending, even seemed to be celebrating it when it was brought up in interviews (talk about not being able to read the room - seriously, everybody else seemed to realize it, and kept their mouths shut after the required promo period) - her history of sicking her fans on people who disliked Sansa/said anything negative about her on social media even when they didn't @ her (6/?)

Her comments about race and mental health always made me uncomfortable too. I was sympathetic to her struggle with mental health, but then she invalidates everyone else’s struggles and it just made me dislike her even more. You can’t be an advocate for mental health and then say stuff like that about other people. Those two things do not go together. You could see when she said that stuff about Kit’s drinking that, though the audience laughed, everyone in the cast including Kit gave awkward smiles and giggles to cover how uncomfortable they were because they didn’t want to make a scene. And the way she talks about other characters is disrespectful. These characters mean a lot to the people who play them, and she does not react well when people give the same back to her. It reminds of John Boyega and his comments about Reylo and Ben Solo especially, knowing how much his castmates, Adam and Daisy in particular, love the character and how much he means to them, and he went ahead and said those things anyway, fuelling his fans to be cruel to other fans. It’s not as bad as Sophie perhaps, but it’s just poor form when these people are supposed to be professional. Sophie’s comments about Sansa’s rape scene came straight from D&D’s mouth, but she has to be at least a little self-aware about how that sounds and how gross it is, especially when she loves it because of how gross it was. You don’t see Emilia defending Drogo, do you?

Her reaction to the ending was so telling because it was the single positive opinion in a sea of negativity. Everyone else, including people no longer in the show and celebrities who were never involved, hated it and called it out to varying degrees (there was still contracts to fulfill) for how tone-deaf and nonsensical it was, and there was the table-read were everyone was devastated, but Sophie was grinning the entire time. She liked the show because her character won in the end. Sophie is not a writer, and it’s obvious when she praises the writing of this show (and criticises others which had far fewer problems than this). She did not care how nonsensical and crass the rest of the show was, as long as her character ended up on top, and then went out of her way to criticise people who hated it. Other actors have done the same, but on top of everything else it’s not a good look. And don’t even get me started on her behaviour on social media. It’s gross and not something we can blame on someone else.

after all that, everything about her just reeks of this 'woe-is-me I'm so oppressed white feminist' bs. It makes it impossible for me to like her now. Like, I think I'm only 1-2 years older than her, I don't come from nearly as much privilege as she does, and she has all the resources in the world to be educating herself and improving herself but...I don't see anything resembling that kind of growth in her. (7/7)

Yeah I can only agree. I’m five years younger than her and you would never catch me acting the way she does. She’s 24, she’s an adult, and obviously early fame and the producers affected her, but at some point we can’t keep absolving her of blame. She could be educating herself and alleviating her own ignorance, but it seems like she’s just doubling down. Maisie has had the same troubling influence from an earlier age, and she is younger, but she is not acting this way. I’m not hugely into following actors’ lives as I said, but when this was brought to my attention it rubbed me the wrong way. I am perfectly fine to ignore her as best I can, but I don’t have to like her. You don’t have to like celebrities if they’re not great people, and I don’t like her. And I’m glad the show is over so her castmates can go on to bigger and better things and leave that toxic environment the show created behind.

#anti got #anti d&d #neve has mail #anti sophie turner

53 notes · View notes

rimmers-swimming-certificate · 4 years ago

Text

The Red Dwarf 30-Day Challenge!

Day 18 - Favourite Series 7 episode

I’m going to do something unexpected here and not go for Blue.

I’ll admit, series seven if not my favourite, I think it suffered greatly from losing Chris Barrie for most of the series, and I just don’t think Kochanski was good enough as a replacement for Rimmer. Having said that though, I do enjoy most of it, just not as much as I enjoy some of the other seasons. (This is going to be an issue for series eight too, unfortunately, but moreso)

Having said that I’m actually going to go for an episode that doesn’t have Rimmer in it, because I’ve always enjoyed the two-parter that is Epideme and Nanarchy. It’s cheating to choose two episodes though, so I’m going to go with Nanarchy.

It’s just one of the ones that’s always stuck in my head, for some reason. I don’t know if it was deliberate to have Lister lose the arm that his future echo was missing way back in series one, probably not, but it still made me feel like it was referring back to the early series and I liked that.

I dunno though, I think the main reason I like this one is that of all the things that have happened to the Red Dwarf crew over the years, this is one of the only ones that’s real. It’s not being dead, or being stranded three million years from home, it’s not traveling to a parallel universe and meeting your female equivalent, or encountering another version of yourself who is everything you ever wanted to be. It’s not an emotion slurping alien, or a machine that can turn a mechanoid into a human and back again (or a man into a chicken). It’s not a time travelling droid intent on wiping people from history, or a squid who can make you think you’re Duane Dibbley or the leader of some fascist totalitarian state.

This Lister having to deal with something that can and does actually happen to real people, and although it’s completely possible to relate back a lot of the things that happens in Red Dwarf to equivalent things in real life, something so actually real and human is rare, and I think that’s what I like about this episode. The way everyone reacts feels real; how terribly they handle it. Kryten in particular is terrible with his biscuit dunking and his twenty four hour wipe alert and basically treating Lister like he’s a baby and reinforcing the feelings of helplessness. Cat is... well, he’s Cat. He tries to help and much like Kryten ends up doing the opposite. Kochanski’s actually the best of a bad lot really

I also love that scene with the terrible prosthetic arm Kryten fits Lister with, the one that would either need him to take a morning off in order to pick up a ball, or that, fuelled by Lister’s subconscious anger, would punch Kryten in the head, with absolutely no middle ground there at all. I also like, though it’s only a little thing, the casual mention of Rimmer in that scene. It’s nice that even in the episodes he’s not in and that don’t focus on him not being there, he’s still on Lister’s mind (even if he is just insulting him!)

I do think it’s a shame it was resolved so quickly though. I’m rarely a fan of the miracle cure for a disability that you often get in science fiction, not that I’d have wanted Lister to stay armless for the next twenty years or so, I just wish this had happened a little earlier in the series and there could have been one episode in between where Lister’s missing an arm and just kinda... getting on with it, you know? So that it’s secondary to the actual story. A few minor references to it, maybe him not being able to do something and someone else helping him out without making a big thing of it, and then they could find the nanos. Not that that would ever happen I know, it’s not that kind of a show.

I also wish it could have happened when Rimmer was there, because I’d have loved to have seen that conversation. I stuck a version of it in a fic I wrote, but after the fact, Rimmer telling Lister to stop complaining. he’s still got one arm that works fine, while Rimmer didn’t have any arms at all for six years.

I also like that Holly comes back in this one. I missed him!

Anyway, that got long. I only meant to write a paragraph or so.

#red dwarf #rd30days #nanarchy #dave lister

15 notes · View notes

thesteadydietofeverything · 5 years ago

Text

Top 10 Games of 2019

This was an extremely good year for games. I don’t know if I played as many that will stick with me as I did last year, but the ones on the bottom half of this list in particular constitute some of my favorite games of the decade, and probably all-time. If I’ve got a gaming-related resolution for next year, it’s to put my playtime into supporting even smaller indie devs. My absolute favorite experiences in games this year came from seemingly out of nowhere games from teams I’ve previously never heard of before. That said, there are some big games coming up in spring I doubt I’ll be able to keep myself away from. Some quick notes/shoutouts before I get started:

-The game I put maybe the most time into this year was Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn. I finally made the plunge into neverending FF MMO content, and I’m as happy as I am overwhelmed. This was a big year for the game, between the release of the Shadowbringers expansion and the Nier: Automata raid, and it very well may have made it onto my list if I had managed to actually get to any of it. At the time of this writing, though, I’ve only just finished 2015’s Heavensward, so I’ve got...a long way to go.

-One quick shoutout to the Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy that came out on Switch this year, a remaster of some DS classics I never played. An absolutely delightful visual novel series that I fell in love with throughout this year.

-I originally included a couple games currently in early access that I’ve enjoyed immensely. I removed them not because of arbitrary rules about what technically “came out” this year, but just to make room for some other games I liked, out of the assumption that I’ll still love these games in their 1.0 formats when they’re released next year to include them on my 2020 list. So shoutout to Hades, probably the best rogue-like/lite/whatever I’ve ever played, and Spin Rhythm XD, which reignited my love for rhythm games.

-Disco Elysium isn’t on this list, because I’ve played about an hour of it and haven’t yet been hooked by it. But I’ve heard enough about it to be convinced that it is 1000% a game for me and something I need to get to immediately. They shouted out Marx and Engels at the Game Awards! They look so cool! I want to be their friend! And hopefully, a few weeks from now, I’ll desperately want to redact this list to squeeze this game somewhere in here.

Alright, he’s the actual list:

10. Amid Evil

The 90’s FPS renaissance continues! As opposed to last year’s Dusk, a game I adored, this one takes its cues less from Quake and more from Heretic/Hexen, placing a greater emphasis on melee combat and magic-fuelled projectiles than more traditional weapons. Also, rather than that game’s intentionally ugly aesthetic, this one opts for graphics that at times feel lush, detailed, and pretty, while still probably mostly fitting the description of lo-fi. In fact, they just added RTX to the game, something I’m extremely curious to check out. This game continued to fuel my excitement about the possibilities of embracing out-of-style gameplay mechanics to discover new and fresh possibilities from a genre I’ve never been able to stop yearning for more of.

9. Ape Out

If this were a “coolest games” list, Ape Out would win it, easily. It’s a simple game whose mechanics don’t particularly evolve throughout the course of its handful of hours, but it leaves a hell of an impression with its minimalist cut-out graphics, stylish title cards, and percussive soundtrack. Smashing guards into each other and walls and causing them to shoot each other in a mad-dash for the exit is a fun as hell take on Hotline Miami-esque top down hyper violence, even if it’s a thin enough concept that it starts to feel a bit old before the end of the game.

8. Fire Emblem: Three Houses

I had a lot of problems with this game, probably most stemming from just how damn long it is - I still haven’t finished my first, and likely only, playthrough. This length seems to have motivated the developers to make battles more simple and easy, and to be fair, I would get frustrated if I were getting stuck on individual battles if I couldn’t stop thinking about how much longer I have to go, but as it is, I’ve just found them to be mostly boring. This is particularly problematic for a game that seems to require you to play through it at least...three times to really get the full picture? I couldn’t help but admire everything this game got right, though, and that mostly comes down to building a massive cast of extremely well realized and likable characters whose complex relationships with each other and with the structures they pledge loyalty to fuels harrowing drama once the plot really sets into motion. There’s a reason no other game inspired such a deluge of memes and fan fiction and art into my Twitter feed this year. It’s an impressive feat to convince every player they’ve unquestionably picked the right house and defend their problem children till the bitter end. After the success of this game, I’d love to see what this team can do next with a narrower focus and a bigger budget.

7. Resident Evil 2

It’s been a long time since I played the original Resident Evil 2, but I still consider it to be one of my favorite games of all time. I was highly skeptical of this remake at first, holding my stubborn ground that changing the fixed camera to a RE4-style behind the back perspective would turn this game more into an action game and less of a survival horror game where feeling a lack of control is part of the experience. I was pleasantly surprised to find how much they were able to modernize this game while maintaining its original feel and atmosphere. The fumbly, drifting aim-down sights effectively sell the feeling of being a rookie scared out of your wits. Being chased by Mr. X is wildly anxiety-inducing. But even more surprisingly, perhaps the greatest upgrade this game received was its map, which does you the generous service of actually marking down automatically where puzzles and items are, which rooms you’ve yet to enter, which ones you’ve searched entirely, and which ones still have more to discover. Arguably, this disrupts the feeling of being lost in a labyrinthine space that the original inspired, but in practice, it’s a remarkably satisfying and addicting video game system to engage with.

6. Judgment

No big surprise here - Ryu ga Gotoku put out another Yakuza-style game set in Kamurocho, and once again, it’s sitting somewhere on my top 10. This time, they finally put Kazuma Kiryu’s story to bed and focused on a new protagonist, down on his luck lawyer-turned-detective Takayuki Yagami. The new direction doesn’t always pay off - the added mechanics of following and chasing suspects gets a bit tedious. The game makes up for it, though, by absolutely nailing a fun, engrossing J-Drama of a plot entirely divorced from the Yakuza lore. The narrative takes several head-spinning turns through its several dozen hours, and they all feel earned, with a fresh sense of focus. The side stories in this one do even more to make you feel connected to the community of Kamurocho by befriending people from across the neighborhood. I’d love to see this team take even bigger swings in the future - and from what I’ve seen from Yakuza 7, that seems exactly like what they’re doing - but even if this game shares maybe a bit too much DNA with its predecessors, it’s hard to complain when the writing and acting are this enjoyable.

5. Control

Control feels like the kind of game that almost never gets made anymore. It’s a AAA game that isn’t connected to any larger franchises and doesn’t demand your attention for longer than a dozen hours. It doesn’t shoehorn needless RPG or MMO mechanics into its third-person action game formula to hold your attention. It introduces a wildly clever idea, tells a concise story with it, and then its over. And there’s something so refreshing about all of that. The setting of The Oldest House has a lot to do with it. I think it stands toe-to-toe with Rapture or Black Mesa as an instantly iconic game world. Its aesthetic blend of paranormal horror and banal government bureaucracy gripped my inner X-Files fan instantly, and kept him satisfied not only with its central characters and mystery but with a generous bounty of redacted documents full of worldbuilding both spine-tingling and hilarious. More will undoubtedly come from this game, in the form of DLC and possibly even more, with the way it ties itself into other Remedy universes, and as much as I expect I will love it, the refreshing experience this base game offered me likely can’t be beat.

4. Anodyne 2

I awaited Sean Han Tani and Marina Kittaka’s new game more anxiously than almost any game that came out this year, despite never having played the first one, exclusively on my love for last year’s singular All Our Asias and the promise that this game would greatly expand on that one’s Saturn/PS1-esque early 3D graphics and personal, heartfelt storytelling. Not only was I not disappointed, I was regularly pleasantly surprised by the depth of narrative and themes the game navigates. This game takes the ‘legendary hero’ tropes of a Zelda game and flips them to tell a story about the importance of community and taking care of loved ones over duty to governments or organizations. The dungeons that similarly reflect a Link to the Past-era Zelda game reduce the maps to bite-sized, funny, clever designs that ask you to internalize unique mechanics that result in affecting conclusions. Plus, it’s gorgeously idiosyncratic in its blend of 3D and 2D environments and its pretty but off-kilter score. It’s hard to believe something this full and well realized came from two people.

3. Eliza

Eliza is a work of dystopian fiction so closely resembling the state of the world in 2019 it’s hard to even want to call it sci-fi. As a proxy for the Eliza app, you speak the words of an AI therapist that offers meager, generic suggestions as a catch-all for desperate people facing any number of the nightmares of our time. The first session you get is a man reckoning with the state the world is in - we’ve only got a few more years left to save ourselves from impending climate crisis, destructive development is rendering cities unlivable for anyone but the super-rich, and the people who hold all the power are just making it all worse. The only thing you offer to him is to use a meditation app and take some medication. It doesn’t take long for you to realize that this whole structure is much less about helping struggling people and more about mining personal data.

There’s much more to this story than the grim state of mental health under late capitalism, though. It’s revealed that Evelyn, the character you play as, has a much closer history with Eliza than initially evident. Throughout the game, she’ll reacquaint herself with old coworkers, including her two former bosses who have recently split and run different companies over their differing frightening visions for the future. The game offers a biting critique of the kind of tech company optimism that brings rich, eccentric men to believe they can solve the world’s problems within the hyper-capitalist structure they’ve thrived under, and how quickly this mindset gives way to techno-fascism. There’s also Evelyn’s former team member, Nora, who has quit the tech world in favor of being a DJ “activist,” and her current lead Rae, a compassionate person who genuinely believes in the power of Eliza to better people’s lives. The writing does an excellent job of justifying everyone’s points of view and highlighting the limits of their ideology without simplifying their sense of morality.

Why this game works so well isn’t just its willingness to stare in the face of uncomfortably relevant subject matter, but its ultimately empathetic message. It offers no simple solutions to the world’s problems, but also avoids falling into utter despair. Instead, it places measured but inspiring faith in the power of making small, meaningful impacts on the people around you, and simply trying to put some good into your world. It’s a game both terrifying and comforting in its frank conclusions.

2. Death Stranding

For a game as willfully dumb as this one often is - that, for example, insists on giving all of its characters with self-explanatory names long monologues about how they got that name - Death Stranding was one of the most thought provoking games I’ve played in a while. Outside of its indulgent, awkwardly paced narrative, the game offers plenty of reflection on the impact the internet has had on our lives. As Sam Porter Bridges, you’re hiking across a post-apocalyptic America, reconnecting isolated cities by delivering supplies, building infrastructure, and, probably most importantly, connecting them to the Chiral Network, an internet of sorts constructed of supernatural material of nebulous origin. Through this structure, the game offers surprisingly insightful commentary about the necessity for communication, cooperation, and genuine love and care within a community.

The lonely world you’re tasked to explore, and the way you’re given blips of encouragement within the solitude through the structures and “likes” you give and receive through the game’s asynchronous multiplayer system, offers some striking parallels for those of us particularly “online” people who feel simultaneous desperation for human contact and aversion to social pressures. I’ve heard the themes of this game described as “incoherent” due to the way it seems to view the internet both as a powerful tool to connect people and a means by which people become isolated and alienated, but are both of these statements not completely true to reality? The game simplifies some of its conclusions - Kojima seems particularly ignorant of America’s deep structural inequities and abuses that lead to a culture of isolation and alienation. And yet, the questions it asks are provocative enough that they compelled me to keep thinking about them far longer than the answers it offers.

Beyond the surprisingly rich thematic content, this game is mostly just a joy to play. Death Stranding builds kinetic drama out of the typically rote parts of games. Moving from point A to point B has become an increasingly tedious chore in the majority of AAA open world games, but this is a game built almost entirely out of moving from point A to point B, and it makes it thrilling. The simple act of walking down a hill while trying to balance a heavy load on your back and avoiding rocks and other obstacles fulfills the promise of the term ‘walking simulator’ in a far more interesting way than most games given that descriptor. The game consistently doles out new ways to navigate terrain, which peaked for me about two thirds of the way through the game when, after spending hours setting up a network of zip lines, a delivery offered me the opportunity to utilize the entire thing in a wildly satisfying journey from one end of the map to another. It was the gaming moment of the year.

1. Outer Wilds

The first time the sun exploded in my Outer Wilds playthrough, I was probably about to die anyway. I had fallen through a black hole, and had yet to figure out how to recover from that, so I was drifting listlessly through space with diminishing oxygen as the synths started to pick up and I watched the sun fall in on itself and then expand throughout the solar system as my vision went went. The moment gave me chills, not because I wasn’t already doomed anyway, but because I couldn’t help but think about my neighbors that I had left behind to explore space. I hadn’t known that mere minutes after I left the atmosphere the solar system would be obliterated, but I was at least able to watch as it happened. They probably had no idea what happened. Suddenly their lives and their planet and everything they had known were just...gone. And then I woke up, with the campfire burning in front of me, and everyone looking just as I had left it. And I became obsessed with figuring out how to stop that from happening again.

What surprised me is that every time the sun exploded, it never failed to produce those chills I felt the first time. This game is masterful in its art, sound, and music design that manages to produce feelings so intense from an aesthetic so quaint. Tracking down fellow explorers by following the sound of their harmonica or acoustic guitar. Exploring space in a rickety vessel held together by wood and tape. Translating logs of conversations of an ancient alien race and finding the subject matter of discussion to be about small interpersonal drama as often as it is revelatory secrets of the universe. All of the potentially twee aspects of the game are balanced out by an innate sense of danger and terror that comes from exploring space and strange worlds alone. At times, the game dips into pure horror, making other aspects of the presentation all the more charming by comparison. And then there’s the clockwork machinations of the 22-minute loop you explore within, rewarding exploration and experimentation with reveals that make you feel like a genius for figuring out the puzzle at the same time that you’re stunned by the divulgence of a new piece of information.

The last few hours of the game contained a couple puzzles so obfuscated that I had to consult a guide, which admittedly lessened the impact of those reveals, but it all led to one of the most equally devastating and satisfying endings I’ve experienced in a video game recently. I really can’t say enough good things about this game. It’s not only my favorite game this year, but easily one of my favorite games of the decade, and really, of all-time, when it comes down to it.

#outer wilds #death stranding #eliza #anodyne 2 #control #judgment #resident evil 2 #fire emblem: three houses #Ape Out #Amid Evil #games #video games #GOTY

87 notes · View notes

smolbeandrabbles · 5 years ago

Text

Magnets - Harold x Reader (Adore)

GIF Credit: X

Cruel Summer

@sufferthesea For you, darling 😘

Author’s Note: This one is a funny one because I wrote it and hated it and then rewrote it. Then wasn’t sure where it was going until I had a sudden ‘Eureka!’ moment and we’ve ended up with this part! I know I probably shouldn’t, but I love this relationship and this dynamic so much! It’s very nice to write for 😊

Disclaimer: Adore characters not mine / lyrics not mine / gif not mine

Premise: Summer is drawing to a close, and you’d just made one hell of a confession... What happens if it all ends? What happens if it doesn’t?

Words: 5309

Warnings: Affair / Student-Teacher relationship / May-December romance / swearing / sexual connotations

_____________

Never really felt bad about it As we drank deep from a lie Cause I felt melting magnets babe The second I saw you through half-shut eyes Uh-oh, dancin' past the point of no return Let go, we can free ourselves of all we've learned I love this secret language that we're speaking Say it to me, let's embrace the point of no return Let's embrace the point of no return Never really thought we would make it We’d be thinking about what could have been But we've had a record summer, can't turn it down, oh Now I don't wanna see the end begin

Smoke and sunset, off Mulholland He was talking, I was wondering 'bout You and that girl, she your girlfriend? Walk my way, I'll share the things that she won’t

---

There was silence. Nothing about it was still or calm. And your confession reverberated in the air around, stifling you. It was the most awkward thing you’d ever faced. And you started sobbing again. You sounded like an idiot. A desperate, foolish, child. With a crush.

And that’s all you were. How was this man ever going to be able to reciprocate your feelings like that? You didn’t expect him to either. But he had to know. That was your reason for coming here, but right now you wished you’d never opened your mouth. His gaze didn’t lower from yours, in fact Harold didn’t make any expression at all, besides the concern he’d already been showing when you’d said those three little words.

As if eight letters could destroy everything…

Then he moved, one step, then another. And they were backwards – away from you and towards the house. NO! You wanted to scream it, but your breaths were choked on your sobbing and your vision was already blurred at best. And nothing came. Harold swung around the door to the house – he knew immediately what you would think to him walking away, but there was only one thing he could do for you now. And that involved him collecting his car keys. Something he’d have to leave you for and beg your forgiveness later. Two steps and he had them in hand, four more and he was back to you – still sobbing on his front porch. “Y/N…” You almost jumped as he pulled you to him. Harold wrapped you in his arms, resting his head on yours, and ran a hand through your hair; “It’s okay… It’s all going to be okay…” You weren’t sure how that was possible, but what you knew right now is that you’d held your heart out for him to shatter and he’d pulled you closer. Your arms reciprocated and held him tighter than you believed you ever had, but it only made you sob harder at the realization that he wasn’t about to leave you. “Come on…” He whispered against your hair, “…Here is not the place for this, let’s take a drive…” Harold pulled back from you slightly to tilt your chin up to meet his eyes, tears still streaming. “Hush now…” he shook his head with a gentle smile, “No more tears. There’s no need for you to cry… I’m here. I promise.”

With no one else around he took your hand and led you to his car, the lace of his fingers with yours not insignificant. You calmed noticeably as he started driving, and before long you were heading out of town, and he kept your hand in his. “W-Where are we going?” Your voice waivered, even though you’d stopped crying. Your eyes flicked behind you to the coastline you knew well disappearing into the distance, and roads you didn’t know half as well leading you to god knows where, as you scanned ahead of you. “I don’t think this is an in town motel kind of conversation… do you?” You blushed slightly at that, but really guessed what he meant was, he wanted to find a safe space for you both. You were just as conscious that as much as he talked to you, he wasn’t saying what he really wanted to. And was skirting the bigger subject completely. But you shouldn’t really complain at that – because he’d told you he was here. And he was currently driving you somewhere with your hand in his… That wasn’t by any means the sign of someone who was about to react unfavourably to what you said. But he also hadn’t responded to it, either. When he stopped the car you weren’t even anywhere remotely recognisable. A rest stop strip of dirt across the coastline with a sea view, jutting out from the winding road he’d been driving for miles. There was silence for a minute, and then he motioned for you to get out of the car. You followed him, still worried about the consequences of your words. Harold stopped a little away from you, looking out to sea - but you hung back, resting against the hood of his car. His verdict would make or break you, and you knew that Harold knew that all the power here was now his. And he had to be so careful with it, because he wanted to be careful with you. In reality there were three choices he could make. Perhaps four... But at least one of them wasn’t a viable option. Not now. He couldn’t do that to you, or to himself.

As he stood with his back to you, hands in his pockets wind blowing through his curls, you at least got to stand and marvel at him. The curvature of his back, how his shirt pulled across his shoulders. For it to fit that well his buttons must have been done up today. His shirt sleeves were also rolled to his elbows, and if you tilted yourself enough you also could see his forearms. You’d just have to think on them for now - though - considering. He always looked good with them folded, especially at the front of class waiting for someone to answer a question. You realised you’d be back to that soon too. Semester was but weeks away - and then what? If your words had consequences here it would be nothing on what it would mean there...

Harold took a deep breath. With a realisation that with some things he just couldn’t say yet, there was only one he really could. He turned back to you, face between kind, and worried... but also determined. Like it was all going to work out. “If we do this. If we do this I love you thing, there are consequences. And we have to make big decisions about our lives, Y/N. You won’t be a kid anymore. It’ll be big responsibilities.” You straightened your posture on the car, and tilted your head towards him with a slight squint. Like you were trying to read between what he was saying.

For one, a certain kind of relief flooded your body. Harold wasn’t ending it - that much was clear. He hadn’t driven you out here to break your heart. But to say things he simply couldn’t say elsewhere. And things he still couldn’t say, as you replayed his sentence over and over in your mind your eyes widened; Shit?! Does that mean that he loves me back!? Only he couldn’t say it out loud, not yet, and you completely understood that. Or maybe he didn’t know yet? Maybe all Harold knew was he didn’t want this to end - and he couldn’t lose you. Weighing up your own responses you swallowed, “I know.” He wasn’t sure you did, not really. If this wasn’t just an affair - wasn’t something so casual, if this became seeing each other, or dating, that was a relationship. And he wasn’t sure you’d handle that well. You might think you could, but thinking it and being in the middle of it were two different things. And you both had history to consider here - before University even had a factor. And that wasn’t something to be ruled out. His voice was soft, and he took two paces to lessen the gap between you; “Y/N... I’m giving you the chance to think about this one and turn back. Because I know I never will.” Harold wasn’t trying to get you to give up, or push you away, simply to get you to appreciate the realities of what you wanted - or what you were saying - to be with him. And you supposed you also knew what he was doing. But wanted to be firm, you didn’t want to prove him right on not knowing what you were doing by changing your position on this; “I don’t want to. I want this. With you.” Not with Tom, not with a teenager... not even with someone remotely your age. Harold made it simple, everything was so easy, and he took care of you - no one your age was going to do that. And Harold didn’t have to either - not in a revenge fuelled affair; that was his choice.

His eyes left yours momentarily with a gentle sigh, “You don’t understand all the consequences.” How could you, Tom was your first real relationship and look how that had turned out. “We will still need to keep this secret.” What was more, you couldn’t have an out-and-out relationship. And if that was what you wanted, Harold thought it might be better for him to gradually persuade you to someone else. “Aren’t we already!!?” You’d factored for that, and you didn’t care. It’d be just like here, but maybe you’d have to be twice as careful. You weren’t about to let him pull away from something that you suspected he also wanted, just because he was trying to be the good influence. Besides you thought it was a little late for that. “You have a point. But not like this. Not if it’s not an affair anymore.” Then you stopped thinking for a moment and almost physically flinched; wait, shit, what!? - so he also meant ‘relationship’!? Sure, you weren’t with Tom anymore (though University could provide you with plenty more cover, male students that you could run circles around in this game weren’t exactly lacking) but... What!!? Surely, he wouldn’t get divorced for you? And you were stupid to even let that possibility cross your mind. Tossing it from your memory as soon as it arrived.

“So, are we? Going down this road?” For one you wanted to be absolutely sure you were reading him right... and you leant further back against the car eyebrows knitting together. But then you added, quieter; “...I want to.” He took another few steps forward, lazy swinging steps, and part of you just wanted to reach out and pull him into you and whisper promises that nothing had to change. His eyes were back locked on yours; “You realise you’re getting into an adult relationship. I mean it. You’re not a kid now. In class maybe. You’re a student... But when we’re together... it’s serious, okay?” You chewed your lip in momentary thought, but you already knew you refused to lose him over this “...I accept that.” But you shook your head, with a smile; “I don’t think I’ve been a kid with you all summer.” (Although you rebuked the word kid like you hadn’t broken into your 20s. Even if it was only just.)

Harold regarded you for a minute, tipping his head, he supposed you had a point. You were acting like less of a child than anyone else caught up in these affairs was - and added to that, he didn’t treat you like one either. Although he took the upmost care of you because he knew how young you were and that mattered. Maybe you felt sitting alone in your room crying was childish - but you were pretty sure fully fledged adults were capable of such things. He walked forward, taking back those steps away from you - you had nowhere to back up to, already against the car, as his hands pulled your face in towards his, and his lips captured yours. But then why would you want to pull away from this? When your body allowed you to react, you wound your arms around his shoulders, tangling your fingers in his hair. But he continued to push his body into yours, and you were forced further and further back on the car - still caught up in these heavy, fervent, kisses that you didn’t want to stop.

He did - instead. Breaking away from you, he had to steady himself against the hood of the car - “I’m sorry...” he pulled away, but slowly, allowing you to reach for his hands on your own No, I said I was never doing this. I’m not starting now. I will not take advantage of her... I won’t let her down. You were both a little breathless, and he brushed his fingertips against your skin as he tucked back the hair that framed your face. No quick five minutes in, or on, his car - no quick five minutes anywhere, that was a rule. Harold was never going to break it. Instead he pulled you gently to standing and retrieved the keycard from his back pocket, for one of your usual hotels. He kissed you gently again; “if we’re going to do this...” he nodded towards the car, “then we’re doing it right...” “They won’t notice?” You always looked out for how long he was away from home. “She’s at work, Tom’s at the beach. I could be anywhere right now...” And he was, his next kiss to your neck “... we have all the time in the world...” ***

This time wasn’t like any of the others. He’d been gentle and caring with you before, always. Unless you’d wanted it to be a little more can’t keep your hands off me... But like this?? No. And you knew immediately then that something about your dynamic had changed now, and probably for good. And it was like every movement he made was to make this feeling last as long as possible... and every time you felt yourself about to tip over the edge of pure ecstasy, you found yourself wishing Not yet... please not yet! But it was present in him too - the way he touched you, or sighed your name. Every kiss that spilled from his lips over your skin, was the I love you too that he couldn’t say verbally. And you knew that.

Usually you stayed the night, but it was barely midday. And that meant redressing, and him dropping you back home. But neither of you made much movement. Which meant you got to bask in the afterglow. Laying your head on his chest with a content, sleepy smile as he ran his fingers through your hair. You had so many questions; but you didn’t want to ruin this moment, and you didn’t want to wreck his decision. You talked about nothing in particular, passing the time of day that he’d missed whilst you and Tom hadn’t been seeing each other, and therefore you’d had no reason to come by the house... How Harold sympathised with your feelings for the situation - how you hurt more about losing this than you did Tom. And the way he reassured you with a gorgeous smile that you weren’t about to lose him. How he laughed about things that you’d been up to with your friends, and threaded your legs with his.

You listened to him talk about mundane things he had been up to. And the curriculum he was putting together. Then he sighed, cuddling you into his body: “This is probably all really boring to you isn’t it?” On the contrary though, you wanted to know what classes with him would bring you. And it didn’t matter what he was talking about, you could listen to that voice of his all day...

*** This time when he pulled up in front of your house to drop you back, your parents opened the door to you. And you instantly panicked; What the hell-!? When did they ever do anything like this?! He wasn’t fazed at all, offering a cheerful wave; “You have yourself a smart girl! How many students do you know that would want to get ahead of their next semester, huh!?” “That’s our girl-!” Your father laughed, although you were staring back at Harold in minor disbelief – yeah, I know what that means! - at least he was a quicker thinker than you. You gave your father a smile, and thanked Harold for his time, before hastily heading back inside. You weren’t too far down the hall before you heard your mother say something that almost made you trip up the step. “Oh! Harold-!! Why don’t you and Roz come over for dinner one night? You should come on by… It’d be nice,” then lower, “…Of course… perhaps it would be best not to bring Tom considering the circumstances… It can be just the four of us.” You leant back in view of the doorway to watch his face and eagerly awaited his answer; “Y-Yeah. That’d be great-! I’ll suggest it and call you!” “Sounds great – and thank you, for dropping her back. You didn’t have to do that.” He laughed, “Nonsense. It was my pleasure!” You smirked gently as you bit your lip and continued your walk up the hall; Damn right-! ***

Unfortunately, “dinner” didn’t happen that week. And by the time it did actually happen you were already winding up to go back to University for your next term. You and Harold had seen each other here and there, but you both knew that it was getting busier by the moment. He wasn’t exactly joking when he had mentioned you wanted to get ahead with your work, that was exactly the kind of student you were. So, when the date actually became concrete it’d been a while since you’d had the chance to touch him, and that thought had decided to weigh on you pretty heavily throughout the day. And suddenly you realised that you were biting your pencil a little too hard and all you’d done all day was some pretty steamy daydreaming… But, finally the evening you’d been so desperate for rolled around – and your parents had the nerve to try to kick you out of the house. Wouldn’t you rather be with friends?! You only have a few weeks left! No. Don’t worry you won’t even notice I’m here – ma! I have studying to do! - Besides, if this was going to continue in Sydney, who knows how much time you would really have to study in term time. Although you realised that neither you, nor he, would want this to affect your grades. Take the night off! I’ll be up this end of the house – You’ll barely even see me. I’m not looking to be a part of the party-! Still, they hoped that you might actually decide to go out – no such luck. But in all honestly, from your bedroom you could barely hear what was going on in the dining room. Besides something terribly convoluted. Though there was only one person sitting there aware of all the pieces of that lie – so… It’d been about half an hour, and they were getting into the conversation by that point, so you decided it was about the perfect time to go grab a drink for yourself. You opened the door to your room, and stood and listened for a moment. Smile growing instantly at the sound of his laugh carrying up the corridor. You’d missed him far too much in only a few days, and your body was having no qualms in telling you that. You padded up towards the kitchen stopping at the dining room door to peer around – you probably could have walked through it and no one would have noticed, such was the depth of the conversation. The smile was still on your face, but you bit your lip – and you knew instantly, if you didn’t know before, that you’d be finding every excuse you possibly could to walk past.

Harold in a suit was just something else entirely – dark blue, light blue shirt, top two buttons undone and nowhere near enough for your liking, well cut – but not sharp… soft, like he was. To be honest he could have shown up in anything and you’d have still thought he looked incredible, but right now in your current state, fuck, he just looked SO good. You had to take a deep breath and cross the doorway quick to collect what you needed from the kitchen, but you had to pause for a moment – realising your hands were shaking. Oh… Y/N..! - see what you really needed was him, and damn, you wanted him bad… You kept these walks up periodically as the night wore on – and you’d been sitting on you desk chair with the door of your room open just listening to him talk for the most part. You knew you were never actually going to sit here and do any work, but your intentions were enough that your book was open and your pens lined up. Eventually that knot in your stomach and the weird shake you were still feeling compelled you to stretch your legs once more, and this time as you glanced across at him again, you caught Harold’s eyes. That was enough to have your cheeks burning by the time you reached the fridge, and decided that maybe alcohol would calm you a little. You rested your head against the door for a minute – again trying to composed yourself. What had gotten into you tonight? There wasn’t one place in this entire town more dangerous to attempt anything than here. And yet, that fear made you fearless… As you walked back you slowed yourself right down, and this time stopped in the doorway, taking a sip of beer. He was clearly waiting for you to walk back through, and whilst everyone was absorbed in conversation he gave you a small smile; Hi! You mouthed it back, with a smile that matched his, but Harold kept his eyes on you. That small tilt of his head and how the blue suddenly became a little more intense made you look away with a grin, before taking another sip of beer. If you stayed here, you’d likely do something you regretted. So you decided to take back off up the corridor. Feeling at least a few degrees hotter. Harold, however wasn’t done with you yet, and as you continued to walk towards to your room, you heard him excuse himself from the table and your feet glued themselves to the floorboards – heart suddenly leaping from your chest. Surely not-!? You thought about turning back to the door, but your body opted for flight – and you rushed back towards your room to deposit your bottle. There was no sound in the corridor; but that might have been your heart hammering in your ears. You stilled your breathing, and even then you heard nothing - curiosity got the best of you and you peaked around your bedroom door. The corridor was empty… perhaps he’d gone for a cigarette break? Was he teasing you? You crept back out into the hallway and proceeded with caution. His voice wasn’t coming from the dining room anymore so he must have left that… But where the heck was he? You looked around – maybe he’d actually gone to the bathroom? But then the light wasn’t on, so that theory was debunked pretty quick. You stood in the middle of the hall, and were about to do a quick 360, before he grabbed your arm and you were dragged backwards. He was lucky you didn’t cry out completely and that it came out as more of a giggle, as your back hit the wall and his lips hit yours. So much for me thinking it was dangerous! It was clear that neither of you was letting the other go, as you grabbed him by the collar, and his hands found your waist. He was still going to have to go back to that table; so you didn’t want to mess up his suit too bad, or his hair either – you were going to have to be careful with your hands, even though all they wanted to do was wander. You walked him – and he let you – back towards your bedroom. How could you possibly be getting away with this here!? Harold’s hands moved from your waist to your hair, grazing across your skin and driving you wild – making you grip his collar tighter. It was taking all your strength to keep your noise to a minimum, but how could you not let out a breathless sigh at that. You needed those hands all over you, right now. Without thinking your fingers shot for his belt and pulled his hips to yours, please let me get away with this one thing… Unfortunately, as his own breathing hitched, you didn’t expect him to be the one to stop you – and his lips parted from yours. “Y/N…Stop-! Stop-!” He took your hands in his, both of you fighting to quietly regain your breath – you were already over the threshold of your bedroom – but he hadn’t put a toe over that line. Harold shook his head; “We’re not doing this!” He’d promised you that – and he’d keep promising you that. Your eyes pleaded with him, “But I- I just… I want you so bad.” And there was no way in that moment that anything else could be the truth. He shook his head, gently, even those gorgeous eyes of yours wouldn’t work tonight; “No… Darling…” He laced your fingers together, trying to dissipate your disappointment “…I won’t risk us, and you, here.” He leant forward, placing a kiss to your forehead, and then gently to your lips. But it wasn’t chaste, he let it linger, just long enough to be fulfilling. But in any case, nowhere near what you needed from him right now, and you whined. “Patience, little one.” You opened your mouth to retaliate, almost disbelieving that he would dare leave you with that-! But he simply smiled as he walked away – so you cleared your throat, making him stop; “You look so fucking hot in that suit.” It was loud enough for him to hear paces away from you, quiet enough to be between just the two of you and he turned back, nearly smirking. “Why don’t you just think on that, tonight?” You bit your lip gently; “Like I already haven’t?” He only chuckled, “Sweet dreams, Y/N.” You shook your head after him - you’ll be lucky if I SLEEP tonight-!

Harold turned back to see that you’d watched him walk all the way to the dining room, and straightened his collar, he offered one small wave back to you, which you returned, before slipping once more into your bedroom and closing the door. Harold smiled, and moved on through to take his place at the table again; “You took your time!” “Yeah, sorry…” he laughed, “Y/N came out just to say hi, man, that girl studies hard doesn’t she?” Your parents beamed, glad that he – as your lecturer – would notice. “She’s certainly looking forward to the next semester! Are you?” “Well as much as I am – what’s better than being on a break? No, it’s great to have students with such… enthusiasm!” At least that was one word for it. “Well, it’s certainly your classes that she’s studying for-! Thanks for giving her a heads up!” He waved the gratitude away, “Oh, no problem – she knows she can come to me if she has any issues…” “You must really be her favourite teacher-!” Roz laughed gently, and for a minute Harold could do nothing but smirk. Although he tried very hard not to. “OH. I guess I might be!”

*** With barely three weeks left, you’d decided to take a trip into town – meeting your friends for coffee before heading off for a little alone time. Weaving in and out of shops to pass the time of day, until the new little boutique stationary shop caught your eye. In the middle of perusing the store – which was pretty empty aside from you, you were joined by another patron. Or, as it would turn out, not at all. “Hey.” “Hey!” you couldn’t help but smile, “As you can see, I’m taking my class stationary very seriously this year.” Harold leant against the shelf with a chuckle, “Clearly. Gotta pick the best for the best class though, right?” “Don’t worry.” You turned back to the small pile you’d gathered “I will…” then shifted back to face him, “You in town too?” “Oh yeah, I was just over at the gallery.” He shuffled the folder in his arms and gave a shrug, “Look, I just… I wanted to say, in person, that I’m going to be heading back early – get everything set up for this semester. Move a few more things into the house… That kinda thing.” “Uh huh?” You knew why he’d want to do that – he couldn’t text a number you’d never given him, and neither of you wanted emails flying around all over the place. This relationship was untraceable. Until such a time you mutually agreed otherwise – aside from the lapse in judgement at your parents’ house, you figured you’d been the most careful of these three affairs. “So, I’m heading back this weekend. But, I’d like to see you before I go…” You folded your arms, this point in time was just as busy for you, making time to see everyone before you too had to head back to Sydney. “…What were you thinking?” “Sunday, wait for me on the road.” You automatically knew where, “When you thinking of leaving?” “It’s a long trip, should be out of town by 10…” “Okay. I’ll be there…” He gave a gentle nod – and there was an awkward silence for a moment where you both wanted to reach out, or lean in, but could do neither. Eventually he cleared his throat; “Uh. Right, yeah, see you Sunday!” Harold turned and left just as awkwardly and it was all you could do to shake your head after him with a laugh. See you Sunday…

You’d been leaning against your car since about 9:30. Legs crossed and singing softly to the radio – and his car came rolling up the road at 9:57am. “I’d call this early…” You leant back to switch your radio off as he hopped out. “Ah, but you’re here.” “I didn’t want to miss you.” You beamed, amused He chuckled, “I’d have waited…” “Aw, what if something came up and I didn’t show?” Harold gave a shrug, “Bit hypothetical. I guess I might have given up eventually…” He joined you against your car, and you rested your head on his shoulder with a sigh; “I don’t want this summer to be over…” “It’s not over.” He wound his arm around you, pulling you closer, “It’s far from over.” You laced your fingers with his and closed your eyes – this was what you would have to hold on to until you saw him again, so you would savour every second. But you knew eventually, and all too soon he would have to pull away from you. You let him, as he kissed your forehead in apology – because it was no good holding onto something you knew had to leave. “See you in three weeks. Be good until then?” You tipped your head, everything about your features suddenly so innocent; “Without you?” He was helpless but to smile at that, gathering your face in his hands as he kissed you once more. The next time you would find his lips on yours would be Sydney. But you knew the wait would be worth it.

Breaking the kiss reluctantly, he slid his hands down to yours and walked backwards towards his car – letting his touch part from yours at only the last second. Harold didn’t say goodbye, because that wasn’t what it was. It was only three weeks, no matter how long those turned out to be. You sighed, but realised it wasn’t in discontent, as you watched him drive off – hand out the window. And then smiled to yourself, because you’d known at the beginning of Summer what you still knew right now; you were already looking forward to the semester...

---

@3134045126 @happyskywhale @wltz-bby #MendoTagSquad

#Adore #Harold #Harold x Reader #Student/Teacher #Ben Mendelsohn #Laina #Part 3? I mean I have one planned and got sent the GREATEST song to do it with so-!#I'm all go! I'm so ready!#Ah! I've actually wanted to use these lyrics for ages! So here we are-! I have finally got to!#Also it's not country and every time I don't use country I'm sure you all rejoice a little-!#Proving I can listen to more than just one genre-! Hahaha!#Here's the second one I've written that was a draft and got chucked out and then came back.#It's nearly a request. I wouldn't have written this without the sweet SufferTheSea so... Thank you darling!#Linzi Writes #Linzi Writes Requests #114-!

14 notes · View notes

pretendtobepunkrock · 5 years ago

Text

Divinely Uninspired to a Hellish Extent

a/n: yes! the preferences are back! these are all based on Lewis Capaldi songs, if you haven't heard his new album you need to go check it out. also, because of the theme of his songs and the album, these are all sad. sorry not sorry. if you have an idea of stuff you’d want to see me write, hit up my ask and let me know xo

Ashton

I let my guard down, and then you pulled the rug,

I was getting kind of used to being someone you loved

Ashton didn’t let people in very easily.

It took time and patience and a lot of trust for him to bare his soul to someone new, to reveal all of his emotions and to share them with somebody. There were a hand selected few who saw all of Ashton, the parts of him that he usually kept locked away from the public eye. There was his family, the boys, and even a couple of other friends.

And there had been you.

Ashton had let his guard down to you at a record speed. He wasn’t sure what it was about you that made him feel so comfortable; why he’d given you access to the intimate pieces of his brain and his heart. Despite the warning words of his friends and the cautions they tried to give him, Ashton had given all of himself to you unashamedly.

Then one day, you left.

It wasn’t a dramatic exit, fuelled by screaming and yelling and the slamming of the door on your way out. It wasn’t a secret, him returning home from tour to find your belongings gone and a note telling him goodbye. Ashton even thinks he’d have preferred it if you’d have blamed him, called him names or told him he was unlovable, somethingto make him hate you.

Instead, he came home one day to find your bags packed, a sad smile on your lips as you waited for him on the couch. Ashton felt like the wind had been knocked out of him, words escaping him as you apologised for not being able to stay anymore, for not being able to love him the way he deserved. All he could do was bluntly nod as you said your goodbye, gritting his teeth as you brushed a kiss to his cheek on your way out, hand lingering on his arm as he squeezed his eyes closed in an attempt to keep the tears at bay until you’d gone. That’s when he’d fallen apart.

Ashton had gotten so comfortable in the cocoon of your love he didn’t know how to go on without it.

Michael

I’ve been told, I’ve been told to get you off my mind

But I hope I never lose the bruises that you left behind

The drinking was counterproductive.

It was all Michael had been doing really, since you’d left him. Not to a reckless extent, but enough every day to take the edge off. He never went alone either, always accompanied by at least one friend. They all said the same thing to him, all encouraged him to do something that would take his mind off of you. He’d always reply that he was, that that’s what the drinks were for. Michael ignored their eye rolls, because he knew just as well that he was lying.

Because the truth was, there were parts of you Michael didn’t want to forget.

And his friends had been right all along. The two of you had never been destined to last, taking too much from the other until one of you had nothing left to give. Evidently, he’d run out first, because one day you walked out the door the morning after and never came back. Michael hadn’t even been surprised when he’d tried to call you and found his number blocked, he hadn’t bothered to go around to your place to fight for it. It was always going to end like this, it had only been a question of when.

Michael just wanted to cling onto the pain.

He couldn’t explain it, why it was so important to him. It wasn’t even that he was overly devastated at the loss of you, or the loss of the pieces of him you’d taken. But the pain you’d left him with, the bruises on his heart where you’d carved out the parts you’d wanted for yourself, they were reminders of what he’d allowed himself to also do to you. Because as much as he was hurting, he was pretty confident that wherever you were, you were too. And maybe that was why he drank, because it numbed the ache of knowing how selfishly the two of you had loved each other. Michael knew he shouldn’t think about you anymore, and he didn’t long for you, not now.

But he needed the reminder of the pain. Because he couldn’t do this again.

Luke

Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to stay too long

Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to tell you whatever you want

Neither of you were sure when it had come to this.

You both sat there, tears in your eyes as you desperately tried to work out a solution to save your relationship. Because at some point, it had deteriorated from one so full of love is was embarrassing, to the two of you constantly feeling like you’d settled for second best. And now you were left in this state of limbo, where neither of you could bear to be the one who called time on your relationship.

That was of course, until today.

It had been an accident, breaking the picture of the two of you that sat on Luke’s bedside table. The two of you had stared at it for what felt like a lifetime, before a strangled laugh fell from your lips and you’d sat back on the bed, hand covering your mouth as you hugged yourself. Luke had slowly sat beside you, the small space between you feeling bigger than it ever had before, the silence saying everything.

“I wish it were different.”

Luke had barely spoken the words, the sentence leaving him in a breath. You’d heard him anyway, nodding sharply as the tears had streamed down your cheeks. Neither of you spoke again, not for a while at least. After what felt like a lifetime, both of your eyes red and cheeks damp and glistening, you’d stood, carefully avoiding the shattered glass. He’d looked up as you’d run a finger along his cheekbone, neither of your smiles reaching your eyes. You both knew that the other felt the same, that you both wished there was a way to fix this, to go back to how it used to be. His lips had brushed your palm before you’d pulled away, and he hadn’t moved as he heard you grab your things and leave, the soft thud of the door closing making him flinch. He let out a shaky breath before lying back, his eyes falling shut.

He felt guilty for feeling so relieved.

Calum

Girl you make my heart break more every day,

But don’t fade away

Calum knew it was wrong.

He was addicted to you, and it was so unhealthy it was hurting him. The two of you had broken up well over a year ago, and yet somehow, you still ended up in each other’s beds more than either of you cared to admit. It broke his heart seeing you get up and leave in the dim light of the morning, and he knew it broke yours from the tight smile you’d send him when you’d turn to face him as you walked out the door. And then there were the phone calls, one of you so drunk that you’d dial the other’s number and slur how much you needed them. It was how you’d gotten into this mess, Calum answering the first call a month after the breakup. He’d been too weak to deny you, racing to your apartment and the two of you falling into bed together. That was the only time you’d spoken about it, the first morning after. You’d told him it didn’t change anything, and Calum had agreed, because you weren’t wrong. All the problems and the blame still lay between you, one night together couldn’t fix that.

And yet, you kept going back.

You’d both tried to move on, only hurting the other more. Calum had been so broken when he’d found out you were seeing someone new he’d been lost. And then one night you turned up at his door at three in the morning, complaining that it wasn’t fair that nobody compared to him. Calum’s heart had almost exploded as he’d pulled you inside, only to break again the next day when you left once more.

Neither of you could find an answer; a way to break the pattern.

The next morning, you’d vowed to never come back, apologising for putting him through this again. Calum couldn’t stop the words tumbling from his lips.

“I’d rather have this than nothing.”

You cried has you nodded, allowing him to kiss you. You promised to see him soon before leaving again. Because you agreed, neither of you could ever fully lose the other, not permanently.

Even if it broke both of your hearts beyond repair.

#5sos preference #5sos imagine #5sos blurb #5sos angst #luke hemmings preference #luke hemmings blurb #luke hemmings angst #calum hood angst #calum hood preference #calum hood blurb #michael clifford preference #michael clifford blurb #michael clifford angst #ashton irwin preference #ashton irwin blurb #ashton irwin angst

61 notes · View notes

littlemisssquiggles · 6 years ago

Note

I have a prediction that i just thought of this morning. Im thinking if there was qn attack on Atlas by Salem or even her faction, and the teams had to split up to fight different battles. My prediction is that before they do, Oscar gives Ruby a kiss on the lips before leaving. Making Ruby shocked and speechless and maybe even worried about him through the whole battle.

Doyou know what’s funny Rosegarden412? That’s a predictionyou and this RosegardeningPinehead of a squiggle meister share in common. Lately I’ve been watching thecurrent last season of Game of Thrones withmy sister and ever since we watched the third episode---the one where the Night King showedup with his full blown army of the dead to kill Bran Stark and everyone atWinterfell rose up to make one last stand against him, the first thing Ithought of is this is how I would picture the Battle of Atlas to be. While I still believe that Atlas is going tofall by the end of the Atlas Arc, this is how I think it would go before thatinevitable outcome. The People of Atlas and the Huntsmen---both from Beacon andAtlas coming together to make one last stand against Salem to defend their homeso that another school may not fall to her tyranny.

Ieven made a RWBYSquiggle Quote voicing the idea. Inthat theory, similar to how everyone came together at Winterfell to battle theNight King who was after Bran Stark, this is how I envisioned Salem showing upat Atlas, possibly riding on the back of a Grimm Wyvern with her arm ofthousands---if not millions ofWinged Beringels prepared to decimate Atlas if they didn’t surrenderOscar-Ozpin to Salem. The idea I had wasthat Salem wouldpresent the kingdom with a dire ultimatum---surrender the boy (meaning Oscar) or face Atlas’ destruction. She evengives them a deadline of 72 hours---3 days before theinevitable Judgement Day.

Whilesome Atlesian higher ups believed that the best bet would be to accept Salem’soffer, our heroes of course refused to give Oscar up. Not only because theydidn’t wish to have their friend killed but because they all knew that Salemwould destroy Atlas anyways regardless of whether Oscar was given up or not. Itwas a lose-lose scenario. So in that moment, rather than running orgiving up, our heroes and the People of Atlas prepare to fight.

Sincethey knew Salem was going to unleash her army in 3 days, they used that time toprepare. They gathered their forces. Hid all the vulnerable women and childrenwho couldn’t fight in safe havens or sent them away down to Mantle where theybelieved they stand a chance of surviving the onslaught. As for the huntsmenand huntresses of Atlas who have trained to protect the people---they allprepare themselves for the second greatest fight of their lives.

Ialso envisioned a scene like you described where Ruby meets with Oscar one lasttime before the two part ways. This was pretty much going to be the last time the two possibly see each other. Ruby was going tofight and Oscar was being forced to hide somewhere desolate but otherwise safeso that Salem may never find him. He was to be guarded by Qrow Branwen, who hadvolunteered to stay with Oscar with Ironwood delegating some of his finestsoldiers to assist him---like Winter Schnee perhaps. Snowbird tag team anyone?

Even though Oscarwanted to give himself up, his friends weren’t going to have him to that. Rubyespecially. So the two smaller, more honest souls meet one last time. This was basically their lastchance to say whatever it is they wanted the other to know just in case…theymight not get that chance ever again. Even Qrow and Ozpin provided them withthe privacy they needed to vent whatever they might need to sayto each other.

Theway how I pictured it is Ruby and Oscar both bickering at first. It’s a scenariowhere they both clearly desire to protect each other but where they butt headson is their choice of methods. Oscar believes surrendering himself to Salem andher forces would be best to ensure everyone’s lives because the last thing hewanted on his conscience was knowing that everyone he cared about diedprotecting him while he stood around and did nothing.

Rubyin turn believes Oscar to be naïve inbelieving that him giving himself up will change anything. To Ruby, whether Oscarsurrenders or not, Atlas is still doomed. Salem would kill them alleither way but at least this way, they have a fighting chance. They have a chanceto turn the tides. If Oscar surrenders then Salem will have him and to Ruby,she doesn’t want that on her conscience. To Ruby, if Oscar dies then that’s onher and she didn’t want that.

Thatin turn, causes Oscar to admit that Ruby dying to protect him was his biggestconcern. Ruby wants Oscar to believe in her like he usual does but hisknowledge of knowing the kind of evil Salem is capable of coupled together withhim remaining helpless to aid his friends with his fear of losing Ruby didn’tput him in a hopeful mood.

Thetruth was that Oscar was scared but not for himself. He was more scared to losehis friends--- the people he had grown to love as his second family. Above everything else, Oscar didn’t want to lose thegirl he loved. Oscardidn’t want to lose Ruby.

Hisconfession then prompts Ruby to confess as well. Firmly, Ruby tells Oscar thatshe didn’t plan on losing to Salem. Not again. Not ever. Even if the SilverEyed Girl had to go down fighting then she would do it fuelled by one thought. She wasn’t goingto allow Salem to take away another person sheloved; revealing to Oscar that his feelings for her werereciprocated. Just as how he desired to protect her because he loved her, Rubyfelt the same way about him. She loved him and she wanted to do everything inher power that night to ensure that he lives.

Oscar may not agreewith Ruby’s methods for doing things this way but the least she wanted him toknow was that she was doing it out of love. In this moment, I can see Ruby kindof coming to understand her mother’s actions in a way. While we still don’t knowthe full story of Summer Rose, I’m still holding onto the clues sprinkled in Red Like RosesPart II. That everything Summer did leading up to the day she diedwas to protect the people she loved---including her precious daughter.

Sonow Ruby was about to do the same. Fight to protect the people she loved. Oscarincluded. This is the part where I can see Oscar interrupting Ruby’s speech by kissing her.But instead of Ruby being speechless, she kisses Oscar back and the two share amoment that solidified their true feelings for one another.

I’ma firm advocate for the Mutuality in the RoseGarden pairing. What thatmeans is that any romantic interest that Oscar may display for Ruby will bereciprocated in her showing clear signs of having feelings for him as well. Imay complain about the writing that the CRWBY Writers have done for Oscar thusfar; however if there is one thing I felt they’ve handled quite nicely is hisgrowing relationship with Ruby.

WhatI love most about the RoseGarden pairing is that it’s a partnershipmostly. I never felt like one cares more for the other. Both kids havemirrored their interest and devotion to each other and that’s what I love aboutit. I hope that’s a key characteristic of the RoseGarden pairing that theWriters continue and elaborate further in V7. If Oscar is to fall in love withRuby then my headcanon is that Ruby will fall in love with him at the same time.

I’min love with the idea of watching these two kids grow closer whileunintentionally falling in love with each other in the process. I want theRoseGarden first kiss to be a moment where it’s not just Oscar revealing histrue feelings but Ruby too.

It’snot just that Oscar loves Ruby. It’s more that they love each other and that’show I’d hope this moment can be about. I actually plan to write a small RWBYSquiggle Script based on this but for now, that’s the idea I have in mine.

~LittleMissSquiggles (2019)

#squiggles answers: rwby #oscar pine #ruby rose #oscar and ruby #rwby rosegarden #rwby theories #rosegarden412

24 notes · View notes

prettywordsyouleft · 6 years ago

Text

Different Kisses with Kang Daniel

So I’ve had a couple of requests for Daniel for the Different Kisses series now, so I hope you’re all prepared for this haha! Daniel is one of my favourite Wanna One members to write for so if I get too carried away, sorry so not sorry.

Also, Daniel has a lot of passion within him, so his kisses might be a little heated than some of the others I’ve done. You’ve been warned.

This is a relationship that has equal need for kissing, and I feel that you might initiate a lot more than him. But this is going to be great, because Daniel is the type to kiss you in so many ways to show he cares, that you’re only fuelling this boy and his kissing growth on.

First kiss:

Daniel may have been a little shy when he first started dating you, and whilst sometimes he can show a little bit of his nerves still, you’re both really comfortable with each other now. Daniel is the type of guy that isn’t just thinking of the present, but also the future, and he’s already been imagining too much with you that he cannot cope. Out of all the DK idols I’ve written for, bar maybe Seongwoo, I think Daniel isn’t going to wait too long to kiss you into your relationship. He wants so badly to know that the connection, and the (mostly tame) fantasies he’s had about you are as good in reality too.

And so you’ll be on one of your dates, and he’ll just be straight forward with you, telling you he is going to kiss you before his lips meet yours. Your first kiss will be a little longer than you yourself had imagined it would be, unlike sweet and short, Daniel is really making the effort to imprint his lips onto yours.

When he pulls away he’s going to be smiling so much that his eyes are all wrinkled up and you’re literally going to need to suck in some deeper breaths of air to steady yourself from not only that amazing kiss, but the look of pure happiness on his face. Wow.

Public kisses:

Daniel isn’t ashamed or afraid to show others when he’s in love. He’s naturally clingy to you, and at all times when out and about his hand will be someplace on you. And whilst his lips won’t always be doing the same, he will find himself wanting to kiss you, on your forehead, side of your head etc as they are the closest areas he can reach easily. He’ll also be the type to lean down and kiss you lightly when he has the right opportunity to.

I think because Daniel strikes me as the type to be overprotective of you, that if anyone would look your way, he will be like Woojin and kiss you or make it more obvious you’re his girlfriend (as if it wasn’t already). Because he doesn’t like it when others look at you, at all.

Because Daniel is so comfortable showcasing his love for you, a lot of your dates will be out in public, dinner dates, beach walks, picnic dates in parks etc. He will be highly affectionate to you during these instances, cupping your face in his hands and planting soft kisses on your lips, sometimes deepening them depending on the current context of your situation. If you had just teased him, you best believe his lips are going to find yours, knowing he can silence you very easily with them.

And you know this too, so keep on teasing him, heh.

Also putting this here briefly, but expect that kissing Daniel on occasion out in public might lead you both into a more dangerous territory. He isn’t going to be afraid of slipping his tongue into your mouth or whispering enticing ideas into your ear out in public. If he cannot control himself for you, you’re going to know about it, and you better start thinking of a plan of how to make this happen quickly and discreetly, before he’s unable to control himself and takes you right in the middle of the park. These moments are both exciting and terrifying for you, knowing that you really wouldn’t care if he did take you anywhere, but for the sake of those around you, it’s up to you to make sure you show as much grace as you can.

Private kisses:

You initiate more of the kisses at home. Whilst Daniel is naturally affectionate towards you, regardless of the environment, at home he’s a lot more relaxed, doing his daily tasks and chores, and then spending a lot of time doing the things he enjoys when he’s not working. Aside from sleeping, it isn’t uncommon for you both to spend most of your time together on the couch, snuggled up doing either your own tasks such as reading or on your phones, or immersed in a task together. During these times, it’s you who cannot keep your lips off his. Daniel’s not going to complain, because he lives for being spoiled by your affection. Seeing Daniel doing tasks around the house especially will be a treat for your eyes, because you’re just as in love with his back profile as his front. Your eyes soaking in those broad shoulders as he vacuums or washes dishes, and soon it’s you distracting him from whatever he’s doing to bury yourself into him, Daniel laughing at you and saying things like, “Again?! You just cannot get enough of me, hm?” before his lips are entangled in yours, laughter seeping out into your kisses because you’re making him feel so darn special.

Casual Daniel is literally a thing and you love it. Just seeing your boyfriend in his hoodies, oversized tops and sweats is enough to send you over into his arms if you weren’t already; stretching up to kiss his lips and wrap yourself around him. Expect loads of chuckles and eyes smiles, because Daniel cannot cope with how cute you’re being and this is going to lead to him peppering you in playful kisses all over your face, telling you just how adorable he is finding you right now.

Much like how Daniel is with his cats, he just cannot handle when you make him feel so soft on the inside. You could be doing nothing to incite this behaviour, but like I said earlier, Daniel’s never just in the present. He’s thinking to the future, spurred on by experiences you’ve already had together, and can make himself weak at the knees for you just by imagining you both married or having kids, or just moving in full time together. During these open fantasies, he’s going to come and find you, and these kisses will be a little more demanding of your attention, his lips may even bruise you with how much he just needs to taste you, because he’s already getting a great taste of this future he’s craving with you. Bye I’m weak.

Making out:

Daniel has a tell-tale signal to when he wants more than just small kisses with you. As soon as his lips are on your neck, you can feel your heart race and the heat in your body increase because he’s not going to let go of you any time soon. When Daniel wants more of you, he’s going to get it regardless of what either of you were doing. And this attention will make you completely forget about everything around you when in private, because all you can focus on is the grip on your waist, and his tongue running and sucking along your collarbones. Things move quickly when his lips find your neck and if you’re both sitting or lazing around on the couch/bed, you’re going to soon be pulled onto his lap or straddling him as his lips move to the other side of your neck. Daniel knows your weakness for his thighs, and he has the same need for yours, so having you on him as you make out is a must for him as well as for you. He knows just exactly what kind of pressure to send through his lips (and thighs) to make you breathless, and would have a big thing for open mouthed kissing. His hands will either be gripping your thighs/hips or up in your hair lightly pulling as he starts to nibble and leave love bites all over your neck and upper chest.

When it comes to making out, most of the time Daniel is running the show, and you generally love this. But there will be times where you’re needy for him first, and this might take Daniel a second or two to get into, shocked that you’re taking control. And whilst he loves being in control, he loves it even more when you express such desire for him that he’s going to go along with your kissing and touching for a bit, his kisses during these make out sessions a little less intense as he tries to figure what you’re going to do next. Until he cannot take it anymore and you’re up in his arms, Daniel not only taking you some place more comfortable, but into his own hazy world full of lust and desire.

Morning kisses:

Waking up with Daniel varies. Sometimes it’s you kissing him awake, sometimes it’s him, and others neither of you get to start the morning out with the sweet taste of each other. On those mornings, waking up alone generally consists of one of the cats pawing at you to rise for the day, and a note on his pillow telling you just how much he loves you, signed with a bunch of kisses, one for each month you’ve been together for. But back to when he’s actually there; these kisses are soft, full of warmth and smiles. He loves waking up and finding whatever part of you he can kiss first, and sometimes this can have you in light giggles, because he’s grazing his lips over your elbow. But it won’t be long until he finds your mouth, lingering his lips around yours when he pulls away, waiting for you to close the gap again. He does this often, regardless of what part of the day it is, but you notice it the most in the morning. It’s as if he’s kissed you to let you know how much he loves you, and now it’s your turn to show him too.

Again, and I apologise for those who were looking for this to be more soft and fluffy, but I’d be totally going against my beliefs that Kang Daniel is the epitome of duality if I didn’t say this – morning kisses can often lead to morning sex with Daniel. It’s a different type of love making than when he’s built up with desire, the softness of the morning taking you both to a place where the slightest change in his breath touching your skin is going to excite you. Kissing will be the forefront for all of this, touching your body so lightly you’ll be wondering (and writhing) whether his lips actually touched you or he just breathed over your navel instead. Kissing can be extremely sensual in the morning with Daniel.

Making up:

A huge part of your relationship is communication. Just like when he told you he was going to kiss you for the first time, Daniel is the type to be honest and talk with you about whatever is on his mind. So when you argue, a lot of that frustration and possible anger will be spoken with a very direct manner. And then the opposite will happen. You’ll receive the silent treatment. And at first, you’re glad for this, sick of arguing, but it becomes hurtful to not be connected with him that it’ll be you who seeks out his lips first, testing the waters with light, gentle kisses.

Daniel will have two ways on dealing with this. If he’s still not ready, he might press hard against your lips, to let you know deep down he loves you still, but he’s still mad and you’re not going to get his happy, sweet love right now. He may even decline kissing you in this time, aware that his own mood isn’t going to be kind towards you, and the idea of hurting you is never something he wants, no matter how annoyed he is.

If he’s ready to reconcile, his kisses will be as soft as yours, he may even begin crying as you both embrace each other, so apologetic for making you cry earlier, or for hurting your feelings. He’ll take great care of you during this time, his kisses barely placing any pressure upon you until it builds up and you can feel comfortable in each other again.

**So I’ve written quite in depth for the staple kisses I do in this series, and so I’m just going to touch on a few extra ideas I have, but try not to write too much either HAHAHA I lied I can’t not write in depth bye.**

Calming kisses:

These are more for your sake than his. I feel that even though Daniel can place a lot of pressure on himself, you’re your worst critic and so when he finds you stressing out, he’s going to wrap himself around you tightly, like a weighted blanket. And his kisses will be much the same, not really moving against your lips, but pressing into you, as if to ground you again. Once he can sense you’re relaxing, he’ll release some of that hold he has on you, asking if you’re okay and to tell him what’s working you up so much.

Cheesy kisses:

Daniel is literally so soft for you, but he also cannot help showering you in the worst cheesy lines that sometimes you wonder where they even come from (Sungwoon is his biggest supplier, cough). He’s aware that you like it, a little more than you’re willing to let on, and despite your protesting at his lines, he’s going to kiss you a little overdramatically, really throwing his lips forward into yours so you can peck him back, and he’ll laugh, knowing that you truly accepted every thing he said to you once your lips were attacking his back.

Shower kisses:

Don’t let your thoughts get away with you too quickly (though you can totally go there in a moment)! Daniel has a thing for your hair/head. He’s always loved kissing the top of your head, in an endearing way. And so when you’ve just freshly showered, he’s going to find himself against you, inhaling that clean fruity smell within your hair and kissing your head happily. At first when he did this, you thought it was a bit weird, given the social reaction to those who smell other people’s hair, but you soon learned it was just a sweet quirk he had. For some reason, Daniel wasn’t huge on perfumes on you, but the smell of your body lotion and shampoo was enough to draw him in to you like a magnet, leaving light kisses over your bare skin and on your head.

And sometimes, if he’s rather excited by this all, he might inform you that you’re going to get a little dirty and he’s going to need to help clean you again, if you get me >_>

Showers definitely are fun with Daniel.

Thank you kisses:

Final kiss for Daniel! Because this boy worships the very ground you walk on, if you do things for him, expect his lips to repay you. Washed his clothes and popped them away when he’s been busy with work? Expect him to turn up on your doorstep with chocolates and a kiss. Made him a delicious dinner? He might not be able to finish it all before his lips are meeting yours because it tastes just so good. He’s going to have kisses to gift you with for many times of the week, and for special reasons too. Daniel is so honest with you, that when he’s had a hard time and realises just how lucky he is to have you, you might find him waking you at three in the morning, thanking you for having him. For loving him, for taking care of him, and for dreaming of a future together. He’s so thankful to have you that these are by far your favourite kisses from Daniel, because even though you know just how much he loves you, it really cascades from his mouth when he kisses you like this. And you know that you’ll continue to do everything you can for him, because you love him just as much, forever thanking every day you get with this beautiful soul.

Okay I’m done and I’m literally surprised by how much detail I put into this because this is even better than my Minhyun Different Kisses and he’s my bias! I think I just really enjoy writing the many layers to Kang Daniel, and I hope you’ve enjoyed reading them.

_______________

Other Wanna One members: Jisung // Sungwoon // Minhyun // Seongwoo // Jaehwan // Daniel // Jihoon // Woojin // Jinyoung // Daehwi

[Different Kisses Masterlist] | [Main Masterlist] | [Request Guidelines]

#kang daniel #wanna one #wanna one daniel #wanna one fiction #wanna one imagine #wanna one scenario #boyfriend!kang daniel #kang daniel fiction #kang daniel scenario #kang daniel imagines #prettywordsyouleft requested #pwyl; different kisses

252 notes · View notes

impossiblyizzy · 6 years ago

Note

Oh mi gosh okay so obviously peraltiago is top but now I have a side thing for Jake and Charles after reading your story haha. Can you write one based on their stakeout episode where they're getting annoyed with each other but it's all just hiding massive sexual frustration and they have an argument that leads to love declaration and hot kisses, possibly more if you're comfortable? Thank you! Love your writing xo

Omg thank you! Also I totally agree, I think the lack of Jake/Charles content is a testament to how well Jake and Amy’s relationship is written and how good the female characters on the show are in general.

I had so much fun with this prompt and it turned out way longer than I expected XD

This fic is cautiously rated ‘M’ but I’m not gonna tag it as nsfw because apparently that stops it from showing up in the other tags. Also, it’s available on AO3.

A stakeout with his best friend should have been fun – likea weeklong sleepover. Instead, it was infuriating. Charles’ weird habits hadn’tbothered Jake before, but that had been before he was forced to endure a weekwith him. More specifically, with his sleep apnea, freaky eating habits, lackof ‘Die Hard’ knowledge, yoga, inability to play mini basketball, andinsistence on adding all of Jake’s completely normal and charming behaviours tothe No-No List.

‘No more talking!’ Jake declared eventually. ‘No talking atall!’ And they stayed in bitter silence for the better part of a day beforeHolt rang and Jake was forced to act like everything was fine and that Charleswasn’t driving him mad.

And stakeouts were boring– why did he never remember that? He was practically bouncing off the crumblingwalls.

It was several days before Jake started talking to Charlesagain, and even then it was only out of a combination of boredom and anoverwhelming desire to complain about Charles’ freaky food.

‘Oh, so we’re talking now?’ said Charles.

‘I guess so,’ said Jake, ‘Since words came out of my mouth, andyou heard them.’

‘That’s glib!’retorted Charles. ‘No being glib! It’s on the list!

‘I’m so sick of the list!’ said Jake. ‘I don’t even knowwhat ‘glib’ means!’

‘Ask yourself this: is it something you can hear Garfieldsaying? If so, it’s glib.’

‘So, what, you want me to just be Garfield’s owner, JohnArbuckle?’ Jake didn’t really know what he was saying at this point, but he wasboiling over with frustration. ‘Think about what you’re saying! He’s spinelessand bland! And by the way, me keeping things light and being ‘Garfeldian’ isthe only reason we don’t fight.’

‘You think that’sthe reason we don’t fight?’ Charles shot back. ‘Or maybe it’s, I don’t know,the fact that I’m nice to you? That Igo along with you even when you’re wrong? That I don’t say anything when youannoy me, which is constantly.’

Jake’s body was thrumming with anger now. ‘If I annoy you so much, then why are we evenfriends?’ he snapped. ‘I never asked you to follow me all over the place!’

‘Just…’ Charles spluttered, and then, yelling this time,‘Just shut up, Jake!’

It was so far from their normal interactions that it broughtJake up short. Charles looked shocked that he’d just said that, his eyes wideand his cheeks flushed from the fight. Both of them were breathing hard as theystared at each other.

It lasted a split second. And then, before Jake had stoppedto think about what he was doing, they were pulling each other into a fierce,crushing kiss. Jake had his hands clenched in Charles’ shirt, and Charles hadone so tightly in Jake’s hair that it hurt - in the best possible way. Theadrenaline of their fight was still coursing through him, fuelling theunapologetic movement of his lips and tongue.

When they broke apart, they were panting.

‘Was that your plan for shutting me up?’ said Jake.

Charles pulled him into another kiss, twisting his hand inJake’s hair in a way that made him groan. It should have been weird kissing hisbest friend – it definitely wasn’t something Jake had thought about before -but he liked this so much better thanbickering. He caught Charles’ lower lips between his teeth, sucked on it,revelled in the sound that it elicited from Charles.

And as good as this was, it wasn’t nearly enough anymore.There was too much space between them, and their height difference was makingit uncomfortable, so Jake pulled Charles backwards until the bed hit the backof his legs. He broke the kiss long enough to sink onto the bed, pullingCharles on top of him.

Things that were not on the No-No List: Charles attackingJake’s jaw with kisses, sucking on the sensitive skin of his neck, tugging athis earlobe with his lips and teeth. Jake running a hand over Charles’s back,through his hair. Jake turning his head so that Charles’ mouth caught his lipsagain, kissing him hungrily as he slid his hand to the back of Charles’ thigh.

Something that shouldhave been on the No-No List, and would have been if Jake could have possiblyanticipated this situation: Charles breaking the kiss to giggle and say, ‘Ican’t believe we’re frenching like teenagers!’

‘Now you need toshut up,’ said Jake, but it came out as more of a murmur than a retort.

And then they were kissing again, faster and more ferventlythan before. And Jake just wished they’d done this sooner; he was alreadyuncomfortably hard.

Charles pulled away again, his nose just brushing Jake’s,their ragged breaths mingling. ‘Jake… I… about what I said earlier…’

‘Do you want to stop?’ said Jake, his hand still caressingCharles’ leg.

‘No,’ said Charles.

‘Me neither,’ said Jake. ‘Why don’t we talk about it later?’

Charles didn’t respond, just captured Jake’s mouth withanother ravenous kiss. He ran his hand down Jake’s body and over his hip beforesliding it under him to grab his butt, and Jake groaned and pushed his hips upto rub his aching erection against Charles’ thigh. The anger that had beenconsuming him not so long ago had somehow been converted into desperatearousal. Their movements were frantic, chaotic, the tension of the last fewdays dissipating into bruising kisses and desperate movements. Jake felt thebones of Charles’ hips under his hands as he pulled him closer, grinding up againsthim, craving the friction of it.

And Charles pushed at Jake’s shirt until Jake sat up enoughto pull it off, and then Jake pulled his t-shirt over his head for goodmeasure. And then Charles was pressing him into the bed again, was kissingJake’s collarbone and sucking the base of his neck hard enough to bruise, hismouth red hot against Jake’s skin.

‘Hold my hands down,’ said Jake, the words slipping from hismouth before he’d really thought about them.

‘I’m learning so much about you today,’ Charles saidappreciatively, using one of his hands to pin Jake’s wrists above his head. Charleswas so submissive normally, happy to go along with whatever Jake wanted, and itturned out that that applied to sexy timez too, even if what Jake wanted was tobe held down and overpowered.

And they were kissing again, and Jake was thinking that heshould have taken care of Charles’ shirt too while he had use of his hands, andhe was squirming in a play of trying to break his hands free while actuallyloving the pressure of Charles’ fingers, and that was when a harsh noise cutacross the room.

‘Stake me out tonight!I don’t wanna let you go ‘til we catch the guy!’

‘Oh, crap,’ said Charles, the warm weight of him pullingaway from Jake’s body as he clambered off the bed.

Jake sat up, watchingCharles stumble across the room to grab his phone from the table by the window.‘Captain!’ As he listened to Holt, Charles hastily attempted to straighten hisdishevelled clothing. Jake had forgotten they were here, in this crumbling room,on this stakeout, and it was jarring to listen to Charles on the phone to theirboss when only moments ago they had been kissing.

He thought about putting his shirt back on, but resisted witha sliver of hope that he and Charles could pick up where they left off when thecall was over.

But, when Charles turned back to him, it was with a seriousexpression. ‘Apparently the drop site’s been abandoned,’ he said. ‘Thestakeout’s over.’

So Jake pulled his shirt on, and the two of them packed uptheir stuff in silence. They didn’t talk about their fight, and they didn’ttalk about how close they had just been to hooking up. The air between them washeavy with everything that was going unsaid. On the way out, Jake glanced atthe wall they had covered with the No-No List, thinking about how weird itwould look to whoever would come into this derelict building next.

He went home and took a shower, and then lay in bed, unableto sleep. His thoughts were moving a mile a minute, trying to figure out whatwould happen with him and Charles. He’d never thought about it before, nevereven considered the option of them being together sexually or romantically. Thetwo of them had been friends for years - they had always been close, but neveranything other than co-workers and platonic friends. But making out with himhad been so good that all Jake really wanted right now was to do it again.

‘I am pleased that you and detective Boyle stayed amicablefor the entire stakeout,’ said Holt, at the precinct the next day.

‘Yep,’ said Jake. ‘Amicable. That’s what we were.’

‘I am, however, disappointed that Bisco was notapprehended,’ the captain continued. ‘Take Boyle on door duty. See if you canfind out anything else.’

Jake didn’t know what to say to Charles as they walked toBisco’s aunt’s apartment. He couldn’t get their make-out session out of hismind, but the memory of the fight that had led up to it still lingered. What ifCharles was still mad at him? What if he regretted kissing him?

As soon as the apartment door opened, Jake saw their perpjumping up from a couch and diving towards the window.

‘That’s Bisco!’ he said. ‘Fire escape – I’ll cut him offfrom the back!’

Jake sprinted down the stairs and burst out into the alleyin time to see the perp tackling Charles to the ground. Jake made a grab forhim and the perp hit him around the face, knocking him backwards. Charlesjumped up, knocked the perp down, and Jake lunged forward to snap the handcuffson.

‘Alexi Bisco, you’re under arrest,’ he said, breathlessly.He straightened up, looking at Charles. ‘You okay?’

‘Yeah,’ said Charles. ‘Good job.’

The way Charles looked at him made Jake want to kiss himagain, and, if they weren’t on the job and if there hadn’t been a handcuffedman lying on the ground between them, he probably would have. Instead he said,‘I’m sorry about fighting with you on the stakeout. I was being a dick. I’mglad you called me out on it.’

‘I’m sorry too,’ said Charles. ‘Still friends?’

‘Still friends,’ said Jake, and then, ‘Or more than that. Ifyou want.’

‘Sounds pretty gay,’ said the perp from the ground.

‘Dude,’ said Jake. ‘Can’t you just be arrested? We’re havinga moment here.’

He caught Charles’ eye again.

‘I do want that,’ said Charles, his eyes sparkling.

Jake knew that they should probably finish the job and getback to the precinct, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from Charles. ‘Youknow I love you, right?’ he said. ‘As friends, as more… as anything. As long aswe don’t lock ourselves in a room for eight days again.’

‘But maybe next time we’d have a better way to fill thetime,’ said Charles, mischievously. And then, ‘I love you too.’

Jake leant in to kiss him quickly, and then, wishing thatthey could savour this moment more, straightened up and said, ‘We shouldprobably finish arresting this guy.’

#brooklyn nine nine #b99 #fanfiction #b99 fanfic #my writing #spice boys

5 notes · View notes

doctor-mycroft-fox · 6 years ago

Text

And here am I again, complaining and being a crybaby on this website again. I can’t post on Twitter, too many people might see it, and I’ve already lost some friends about of that dumb story I keep talking about.

The truth is I don’t know what to do? I don’t know what to say, everything is so shitty, and everything is a mess at the moment. I’m not that depressed during the day, mostly because I keep myself quite busy, I don’t have much time to think, and there’s always some friends from uni around to talk etc so I don’t really think but I’m not really there, I feel like I’m just numb to everything. When evening arrives, and I have to come home, I just want to run away, I don’t want to be in this house anymore, the people here, I just feel paranoid, I just feel like everybody hates me there (except for my Russian flatmate, she’s my Belgium Mum here). And they all make so much noise all the time, I’m so tired.

The more I go to uni, the more I feel like I’ll fail, but it’s the only thing I have to go, so I do it, I go. Moreover I’m engaged in two team work so I can’t give them up. But seriously, this semester is so hardcore, I don’t even know how I’m gonna pass my exam, I’ll probably fail most of them, but well, at least I know it. The worst part is going to uni, feeling bad about not being able to cope with all the courses and the works, and seeing your friends managing to do it all and even more sometimes, and like... you’re there, and you can’t really complain because we’re all in the same shit and I’m tired of being the one who always complains. I complain because I just suck, that’s the truth. I suck at uni and I know it, but I still have a slight hope that I might maybe, with a miracle, manage to pass my exams ? I don’t even know.

I finally live in Brussels, a city I’ve always wanted to live in, and I’m not even happy, I can’t even enjoy the city because I have too much work to do.

I have this one friend, maybe the only one I can call a friend in Brussels, from uni, she’s really cool and protective about me sometimes it feels good to have someone like that, even more in times like this. But I feel guilty for the time she gives me, and the fact that she feels like she has to confort me or whatever.She has other important things to do like work for uni, and take care of her family and close friends, who am I to her but someone who passes in her life? On the other hand, she’s the only one I feel confortable enough to talk about that dumb Russian asshole. She’s the only one that won’t judge me or else.

I feel lonely even tho I know I have friends, but, most of my close friends I know I can’t talk to them about everything. The only friend I could talk about really everything and anything, well, just left my life.

He truly has a toxic person in my life that I needed to get rid of. And I did, it’s a good thing. What I hate is how it happened. Long story short, we spend the entire month of October arguing about how he treated me poorly, and how he didn’t care about me at all, and I told him I wanted him out of my life, and he couldn’t even say (at least sober) why he wanted to keep me in his life as a close friend. He couldn’t tell me how much he cared about me, he couldn’t tell me that he loved him, he couldn’t do this, and admitted that I was the only one he couldn’t actually say it to, and he didn’t even know why. The more I think about, the more I feel like he did all of this just to make me suffer even more. I’m almost convinced he did that with the purpose to torture me even more. Anyway, he just kept on feeding me hope during the entire month, asking me (begging) me to give me a last chance, again and again (because he kept on fucking up his chances every time) until he finally asked me for a break. A break that I didn’t want, I know him, he’s a dumb asshole, and a break would just please him, he’d have the feeling he’d won the battle, and would forget all about what I told him, and blamed him, I just feel good again, while I’ll just keep on feeling more and more shit because of him. And that’s what happened, he just left me like that, with no guarantee, nothing. God I hate him for doing that to me. And he does that on purpose, he knows how it drives me crazy. I truly think he likes to know that I’m suffering. Or worst, he doesn’t care at all about me. That’s probably the best hypothesis.

I mean, how could he left me like that ? Like he really did care that little about him to let me go like that ? Not even with a last fight. Oh and I didn’t talk about his dumb tweets during his break “I know you’re mad at me but I love you - (I’m sober if that matters)”. He deleted these tweets right after I liked them. Like yeah, I love you but not too much eh, and I just post that here so you just suffer even more. He keeps on feeding me with hopes and let me suffer. Why can’t he just say goodbye and truly let me go ? Why does he have to do that to me ? What have I done to him to deserve that ? I just want him to let me go once and for all. Last week, I was tired of waiting for him, and just sent him a message to say that if he didn’t do something by the end of the week, guess what ? He first replied to me to kind of insult me because I didn’t reply to his phone calls, then tried to make me feel like the bad person who doesn’t hold on her promesses. The irony, when he’s actually the one who’s been lying to me for more than a year now. I eventually told me that he would do what “he planned to do” on the Friday afternoon. And guess what ? He did nothing. He once again gave me hope for nothing, just to gloat over my pain I guess ? To give me again a bit of hope so I’d think about that all weekend long for nothing. I really hoped until midnight. I sent him a message at 00.30am to ask him if it was finally over and complain that he couldn’t even have the guts to say goodbye and to undertake the fact that his only plan was to just gave up on me (maybe because he realised that I was right when I told him that he’d be better off without me) and no answer since then. Oh and also, he putted on some social media a new username like thisisnotover, omg stop him I want to stab him a thousand times (at least if I do that his father would find me back and kill him, all advantages to me since I am too much of a coward to kill myself), he continues to be that dumb ass shit and feeding me hopes just to see me suffering. At what moment, when you want to keep someone in your life (and you keep saying so), you just can time the deadline this person gives you ? Show that you want to get better for that person and do things on time FFS. He stopped his break this week (yeah I checked his Twitter account even tho I know I shouldn’t and I try to do it as less as possible) but didn’t send me anything. Just reply, just say goodbye for fuck’s sake.

I just spend my day numb, not even able to think properly, wandering at the university, I don’t even know how I found the force to work, I just act like a robot when I’m there. And my nights, it’s just me crying to sleep every time, I don’t even know why I cry ? I wanted him out of my life. But I guess it’s just the way it happens that drives me crazy. And the fact that I cared so much about someone that never gave a shit about me. I did so much for him, even when I think about it now I just feel bad for myself for doing so much for him while he’s not able to do just a little for me... anyway.

I’ll just be the typical emo girl that will finish all that with a quote from a BMTH song. Never been much of a fan of this band, but True Friends really stick well to my current mood and his behaviour.

I wouldn't hold my breath if I was you Cause I'll forget but I'll never forgive you Don't you know, don't you know True friends stab you in the front? It's funny how things work out Such a bitter irony Like a kick right to the teeth It fell apart right from the start But I couldn't even see the forest for the trees (I'm afraid you asked for this) You've got a lot of nerve, but not a lot of spine You made your bed when you worried about mine This ends now I wouldn't hold my breath if I was you Cause I'll forget but I'll never forgive you Don't you know, don't you know True friends stab you in the front? I wouldn't hold my breath if I was you You broke my heart & there's nothing you can do And now you know, now you know True friends stab you in the front It's kind of sad cause what we had Well it could have been something I guess it wasn't meant to be (So how dare you) Try and steal my flame Just cause yours faded Well hate is gasoline A fire fuelling all my dreams (I'm afraid you asked for this) You've got a lot of nerve, but not a lot of spine You made your bed when you worried about mine This ends now I wouldn't hold my breath if I was you Cause I'll forget but I'll never forgive you Don't you know, don't you know True friends stab you in the front? I wouldn't hold my breath if I was you You broke my heart & there's nothing you can do And now you know, now you know True friends stab you in the front You can run, but you can't hide Time won't help you Cause karma has no deadline You can run, but you can't hide Time won't help you Cause karma has no deadline

I don’t even know if someone will read this shit, but I’ll probably delete it in few days when I’ll regret writing this.

#Personal stuff #More like personal shit tho

5 notes · View notes

h4ppines5 · 3 years ago

Text

18/03/2022

icl i wasn’t expecting this to be an everyday thing and it probably won’t because i honestly forget about it sometimes, think when I’m happy i don’t even open tumblr, otherwise it’s my means of ‘escaping’ whether it’s reading other people’s poems or the reasons they want to kill themselves or if it’s me writing shit i have never related to 👍🏽. this app is honestly godsent because it’s like the only one that doesn’t focuses on generating money? promoting accounts for followers and shit, the apps literally meant for people like us. anyways idk why I’m writing a review 💀 so i never went to work today again, my parents are coming home in 2 days so I’m looking forward to it a lot but I’m also like aaa, because I’ve had a good routine these past few weeks without them in a weird way 😂. i just want to work for some money, go travelling, come back and work for some more money and repeatttt till I’m goneeee. lifes shit man but i can’t complain, I’ve been given things so many people could only dream of so Alhamdulillah for everything. but yeahhhh i think i love in such an unhealthy way. I’ve tried to make relationships and friends with people who i can love from afar but it never works because i get too attached, which is purely my fault. I’ve always wanted to have someone who i SHOULD love unconditionally and be obsessed with but i don’t have a person like that so i end up projecting it on friends who don’t understand or have time for that shit, understandably. and once i distance myself a little it gets to a point where I’m too far to rekindle anything and I’ve ruined it. never realised but social fuelled these feelings, second opinions, posts on instagrams telling you that ‘lalala’ means someone doesn’t like you, tumblr telling me I’m depressed because of ‘so and so’, it just all makes you believe you’re worse than you are. and maybe i am mentally shit and that’s okay but if i actually aren’t but believe i am then it’s just weird ?! it’s a random thought but i get it in my head, anyways till tomorrow ✌🏽

0 notes

my-mystic-messenger · 7 years ago

Text

MC was emotionally abused by her parents

This request is very close to my heart, because of personal experiences, so I put off writing it for a very long time. I'm sorry to whoever sent this for having to wait for so long. And if anyone has these kind of issues, I want them to know that friends are the family we choose and you don't need to feel obliged to love anyone to mistreats you, even when society tries to force you.

♬Zen♬

Zen will never forget the night you told him about your childhood. He'll always remember how you'd tried to smile through the stories while your eyes had gradually gotten dimmer and dimmer, slowly overflowing with tears you'd tried to blink away.

The situation was only made worse by the fact that he'd never known, he'd never have asked, had you not been so insistent on him making up with his family or at very least his older brother. He'd been so mad about it until you'd explained just why you thought it to be so important.

It really opened his eyes, making him understand just what a profound effect a family had on you, whether you wanted them to or not, and he came to realize that he too was still dragging around the effects of his childhood, because he refused to work through that.

That very evening he called his parents as well as his brother, not making up per se but at least making an effort in taking the first step. He was exhausted afterwards, but not too exhausted to hold you in his arms and let you cry into his chest until the pain went away.

♬

The two of you were out on a date when you suddenly stopped in your tracks, face going white. Zen couldn't find the source of your distress until a man and a woman stepped up to you and without ever seeing so much as a picture of them, he knew they were your parents.

Despite smiling at you there was a strange aura surrounding them both and Zen understood where it came from the second they began complaining about how long you hadn't called them and how you hadn't even considered introducing them to the new man in your life.

He looked over at you, getting smaller and smaller under the words until he asked you to go ahead and find them a nice seat in the Cafe. He gave you a kiss to the temple and a quick nod before you practically fled the scene, leaving Zen with your surprised parents.

“If it wasn't for the people around I would make a bigger scene, but I'm a public figure and if I want to provide for your daughter, I need to keep my record clean. However, I want both of you to know that you are despicable people and if you ever step up to her again, I'll show you just how angry I am.”

★Yoosung★

With Rika gone and his family distant you were a very important part of Yoosung's life, his driving force, so to say. Whenever he lacked internal motivation he relied on you to provide him with external one and you always did, without a fail. He could count on you at all times.

However, Yoosung had never stopped to consider that so heavily leaning on you could possibly harm you. You were so bright and generous, there couldn't possibly be something wrong in your life, right? Just like with Rika though, Yoosung was wrong You'd explained it to him after finding out about Rika's past: Sometimes it was simply easier to fake a smile than to open up about the pain in your heart. Especially when it comes to abuse. As long as the scars aren't visible, as long as they are only in your head, no one cares for them. Yoosung cared though, holding onto you as you broke down crying after a scene in a movie. Yoosung cared as you wailed in misery about being lonely and broken, about how their voices and words haunted you even in your dreams. Yoosung cared and yet he could do nothing.

★

Yoosung asked Seven to research them, put together a little file for him. He couldn't actually make them pay, but the least he felt he should do was to give them a piece of his mind. Especially when he'd failed to do so once before, losing his beloved cousin in the process.

All the research didn't prepare him for when he spotted your parents walking towards you while you were having a stroll through the park. His first instinct – his desire – told him to to go over and use this opportunity to give them hell. The smile on your face stopped him.

Instead he steered you into another direction, making sure that your paths wouldn't cross theirs. He bought you ice cream at the stand and gave you his jacket when it got a little colder. He told you silly jokes and played catch with you. He'd loved to have talked to them, but in the end your wishes and feelings were more important than his when it came to this matter. Maybe putting your past behind and focusing on making you happy for the rest of your life was the best option. Yoosung would certainly try!

♛Jumin♛

Jumin had always been a perceptive person. It was a necessity to be as much when you worked with hundreds of people in a machinelike business that had to be sustained and kept running perfectly. He tended to ignore people's feelings in favour of logic, but he always noticed them nevertheless. Of course loving you the way he did, watching your every move and listening to your every word like it was gospel, Jumin noticed all those little things you thought he didn't. Like the way you looked at his father like you were waiting for something, or looked down the second he met your eye. He also realized that while you talked about even the smallest of things with him, open to share everything and expecting nothing but honesty in return, he knew nothing of your family, specifically your parents. It didn't take a genius to figure out that something was wrong. For a while he was patient, waiting for you to open up to him on your own. When nothing happened he approached you. The conversation was uncomfortable and painful, but Jumin knew it was necessary. He needed to know everything in order to help you and help you he did. ♛ The two of you were out looking for wedding dresses when suddenly you were approached by a middle aged couple. From the way you went rigid beside him, Jumin knew that those two must have been your parents. They looked so innocent, but Jumin knew better than to be deceived by that. He introduced himself politely but refused to have any kind of conversation with them, instead excusing himself and you, stepping before you like a shield before leading you away from them without another word. You were completely silent and Jumin knew, something had to be done. The second you got home Jumin called his lawyers and detectives as well as Seven. While the info wasn't enough to get them prosecuted, not for verbal abuse, he did manage to get a restraining order on them, making sure they'd never harm you ever again. Along with the order, Jumin decided to write them a personal, little message as well. He told them how vile and disgraceful they were for failing you the way they did and that if they ever stepped to you again, he'd make absolutely sure that the detectives dug up something on them, no matter how real that something might be.

☼Saeyoung/Seven☼

Saeyoung knew, better than most people, what it felt like not wanting to talk about a certain aspect of your past. For some it was out of embarrassment, others didn't want to be judged for something they'd done a long time ago. It was just something they avoided talking about. For his brother, you and him the reason was trauma. Saeyoung didn't want to be reminded of those feelings of crippling abandonment and pain caused by his parents. He'd experienced enough of it and didn't need a reminder. He figured the same was the case for you. You never brought them up and he never asked. It was an unspoken rule and the only exception to your one-hundred percent open honesty policy. Of course that didn't mean that Saeyoung didn't find out about it one way or another. He just didn't ask you directly. Instead he dug up some dirt on them, made sure that he had enough material on them should he ever need it. With you he simply made sure to avoid the topic of family altogether, instead focusing on planning a brighter future as a new, happy family. ☼ It wasn't until he saw the way you looked at a mother dragging her screaming child around, saw the way your eyes became empty and tears gathered in them, that he realized your parents needed to be punished for what they'd done. He figured he better do something late, than not to it at all. Saeyoung knew that it was technically a violation of the unspoken rule you'd established, but he couldn't allow people who'd broken you the way those two did to live peaceful lives while you suffered. And yes, part of his rage was probably fuelled by his own hatred and the fact that neither him nor Saeran ever got the payback they somewhat deserved, but he also couldn't stand the way you had nightmares every time you heard a child cry. He didn't harm them, of course, although he would have loved to send his old agency after them. Saeyoung did, however, frame them. It was so easy to put the nasty kind of pornography on their computers and alert the police. He liked the irony of them going to prison for loving children too much

☀Saeran☀

Because Saeyoung refused to send Saeran to some sort of rehab centre and Saeren himself couldn't stand the idea of going to one on one therapy, the three of you had made a compromise in sending Saeran off to group therapy instead. He still hated therapy and people, but at least he wasn't the only one talking, so it was a little easier to bear. Like...he was a part of not only a group, but a group of people who truly understood what he'd gone through in his life and shared his pain.

Saeran didn't question the fact that you sat down with the rest of the group every single time. After all you were the one driving him to these sessions and the one driving him home, so he figured you didn't feel like driving back and forth.

That was until you were asked to share your story and instead of brushing it off, you actually began to talk. He hadn't realized just how broken you were until he heard with what kind of ease you talked of that horrible abuse you endured...like it was nothing. Like it was normal, because to you it was.

☀

Saeran had always been the more vengeful of the twins, everyone knew that. He'd planned on taking revenge on anyone who'd wronged him, but as it turned out his mother was dead, Rika was shipped off somewhere he couldn't find her and neither his brother nor V were the bad guys. Your parents, however, were still very much alive and living live's a little too peaceful for his liking. They didn't deserve happiness after what they'd done to you. He'd researched them, but knew that seeking them out wasn't an option with you around. He took it as a wink of fate when one day, while walking to the car from therapy, he spotted the pair out and about. He made up a lie about wanting to clear his head a little, telling you to drive home alone. Saeran turned to Unknown and pounced. “We're going to play a little game”, he said, smirking at the two, gagged and hanging from the ceiling. “It's a game my abusive mother used to play with me. You'll stand on your legs for 24h straight and if you make even the smallest of sounds, you get hit and no food. Sounds fun, right?!”

📷Jihyun/V📷

Jihyun had always been an advocate for peaceful solutions and forgiveness. He couldn't bear to carry any kind of hatred or anger in his heart, not when the world was such a dark place on its own. To him there was nothing more freeing than letting go of any kind of animosity. It had been that very attribute of his that had driven him to forgive Rika and see the good in her even when nobody else could or would. Sure, in her case his methods had failed, but he was convinced of their effectiveness in any other case. Obviously his first response to finding out about your past was to find out a way to make it all better. Once again reminded of the way he'd failed Rika in not taking enough action, he makes the suggestion of inviting your parents to dinner. Jihyun only wants you to talk it out with them and let go of the frustrations you must have been harbouring for years now. After all he'd seen first hand what pushing feelings down could do to a person. Eventually you begrudgingly agreed. 📷 From the moment the door rang you were beyond tense. You'd cleaned the apartment at least a dozen times, changed your clothes the same amount of times. You looked nervous upon your parents entering, the smile on your face obviously fake. Jihyun didn't understand why at first, your parents seemed like ordinary, nice people, but he was about to find out. You'd just served the tea before dinner, the four of you sitting in the living room, when the two of them began a long streak of judgemental and passive aggressive remarks. Everything you did seemed wrong in their eyes and they didn't miss a single opportunity to tell you as much. And the worst part? They said it with a smile on their faces, acting like they were doing you a favour and just watching out for you when in reality they were breaking your spirit. Eventually Jihyun had had enough. In the middle of dinner he simply got up and as politely as ever asked them to leave. He didn't want to cause a scene and upset you, but he'd learned that evening that some people were beyond forgiveness.

#mystic messenger #mysme #zen #yoosung kim #jumin han #saeyoung choi #saeran choi #jihyun kim #hyun ryu #yoosung #jumin #707 #seven #saeran #unknown #headcanon #request

602 notes · View notes