#but also i did really enjoy writing most of this. i love them lol
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Every Single Other Universe. Logan/Wade, post-Deadpool & Wolverine, Explicit. 12,470 words.
In which Wade and Logan and their variants are being hunted down by a hater from the Void and are thus tasked with hunting the hater back. Weirdly, all of their other variants are dating each other in their respective timelines. Does that seem meaningful to anybody else?
Read it on AO3!
#poolverine#deadpool and wolverine#yes! we are still going through it over here. thank you so much for asking#had several crises in a row fiercely critiquing myself over this one so please let me know if you liked it haha#trivia when i posted the last fic i was so nervous i barely slept four hours that night!!!! we love to have fun#anyway i'm taking 15mg of edibles so i'll see you all in the morning#but also i did really enjoy writing most of this. i love them lol#get ready for more jokes and SINCERE-ASS FEELINGS#my fic
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there are games that i enjoy playing more and there are games i enjoy thinking about more. sometimes the overall story and themes and blorbos are delightful but actually playing it is a little annoying so i just rotate it in my mind instead. sometimes i get absolutely sucked into the gameplay and the world and the experience for dozens or hundreds of hours and i enjoy listening to the soundtrack but it has little to no lasting impact on me as a person bc something in the story just failed to hit and thatâs ok. both are good both are beloved. obviously the ideal piece of media is one i both enjoy actively consuming and thinking about but my mindset is that if a piece of media has any single good thing in it itâs a good piece of media. give me literally anything to work with and iâll extract joy out of it. iâve literally never played a game i didnât like btw
#first category includes games like skyward sword and og twewy#for the record i do love both of those games even as actual games i enjoy a diverse variety of gameplay styles#but compared to some other stuff iâve played yeah itâs not my absolute favorite#but the THEEEEEMES. the stories of those games give me brainworms#the kh mobile games fall into this category (<- has never played them per se but knows enough about em)#(in terms of gameplay i mean)#(also it is true that watching 6 hours of cutscenes isnât always appealing)#second category is like. hyrule warriors age of calamity and tears of the kingdom#i bet youâre surprised to hear me put those in the same place#neither of them had the best writing in my humblest opinion but MAN did i enjoy playing both of those sooooo much#i got so sucked in theyâre both really fun. in completely different ways lol#this is not to say i didnât get driven crazy by totkâs story but just compared to other games maybe not as much#and thatâs ok!!#oh also neo twewy is in this category. they kinda dropped the ball on the writing (even though i do have blorbos from that game)#but it is a really fun and cool game#botw does both things for me. beloved fav game#most perfect piece of media in existence#every pokĂ©mon game iâve played has done both for me#well idk platinum didnât have a Blorbo so it loses story appeal to me. but it makes me smile a lot i enjoyed playing it#even if it doesnât like Live In My Brain like the others#i uh. canât rank most of the kh games bc i havenât played most of em đ« #somedayâŠ#twilight princess is hmmmm ok so like the gameplay and music and world experience were PHENOMENAL#midna HARD CARRIED the story is the thing. i didnât generally like the writing but she alone makes up for it.#in my view it still deserves to be docked points for that but like they did pop off nonetheless#peach rambles#this is the reason i have so much joy in my life btw#itâs because i simultaneously have a very critical eye and i have the ability to put into words exactly what i do and donât like#AND i have the ability to turn off that part of my brain and optimistically embrace everything in good faith#i give everything the benefit of the doubt and focus on the good
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19, 30, 39 for the handwriting ask game wahooo !!!
19) AAAAaaa so hard to choose fave songsâŠ! but recently Iâve been listening to Bunny Girl a fair bit, started humming my clematis today so went to listen to that as wellâŠOh wait fave songs uhh RGU op is lovelyyy! also the song I want to be your lover appears in my mind a lotâŠwait also song I found on bilibili that does an ouchie to me is (mainly the first part) are you lost AAAAAA if I keep going I am going to fill 10 pages (of these short pages) but uhhhh a doll of lapis and ericaâs sorrow and also karenâs cleanup are good! essentially there are too many nice silly songs and I am just really bad at making up my mind >:( (I think I will have links to the YT of these)
30) Thank youuu for sending in a silly ask >_O (It looks a lil goofy but its okay!) I think because of the pens I am using my handwriting looks slightly ânicer(?)â but oh well! I might have to add a transcript because my handwriting is still kinda messy :3 (aaa all my silly written faces are messed up in this page :c)
39) I have an egregious amount of stationary supplies and also really want to go back into sewing a bit! aaa or spending time making those silly friendship bracelets (would be silly to make some based on mutuals colors) Oh and also learning how to sew and embroider enough to make silly cotton dolls :ccc (so many things I wanna do yet so many horrors yet still)
#silly rambles#for i want to be your lover its specifically raon cover but I forgot to write it lol but I still put the coverâs link#also to be fair I used to loop that song a lot a lot so makes sense it would sometimes start playing in my mind#aaaa i didnt even get to mentioning that one cover of carnivorous plant aaaaa#i really like the mao sasagawa cover of carnivorous plant i listened to it a lot (and also it doesnât have the ringing of the original which#i cant always handle/enjoy)#wait wait woswald is nice tooo aaaaaa#iâve found a lot of songs on bilibili that arenât from it#AAAAA like iâm falling in love with my teacher WHICH AAAAA does not need to be as nice as it is#wait also GURU and bereavement#those also bc (idv stuff) bilibili I found and quite like#also on revolutionary girl utena its not just the opening but that was foremost in my mind#oh also in finding the en names for the last two songs I wrote down (I genuinely didnât know before hand bc I got them va yt recommendation#and had them in a playlist to find them) I realized dongdang covered both of them which is lovely#will be adding those covers into my current playlist#i really hope the links work pls pls pls plssss#also is this indicative of how j-music comprises of most of what I listen to#oh also as much as my brain thinks in silly words I cannot spell/handwrite most of them so I did check to make sure I got some of those corr#correct lololo#AAAA I FINALLY FINISHED THE TRANSCRIPT AAAAAAAA#iâm so eepy I wanna go sleer modeâŠZzzz
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KR!!!!!!!!!!!!! NELKE!!!!!!!!!!! WHOMST TF EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LET ME IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET ME IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#this is vee speaking#hypstage might be fighting a fr uphill battle lol#iâve seen a few more opinions now that day two has rolled around and i personally am seeing a divide between hypstage stans and casuals#like the stans while feeling the difference in casts keenly lol see the point in revisiting the get together stories#like it def helps break the new cast in and can potentially set stage for new original stories#but on the other hand iâm seeing the opinion that bc new encounter did the og stories and made them feel more cohesive#we actually might get a more canon complaint stage#one opinion of that sentiment i read was from a mtc stan and she HATED fp vs mtc stage for example#so while she enjoyed the stage some of her gripes about the stage was its originality#and how it felt a lot of people watched the stage less for hypmic but more for the actors and the different universe#which makes me a bit conflicted bc i also hated some aspects of the stageâs different takes but for the most part loved them lmao#we never got to see adaptations of the og stories so itâs cool that we are now but a lot of hypstageâs power came from that originality#i donât want to see that go lol hypstage overall has better writing than canon đđđđđ#maybe we can get a mix of arb and the stageâs propensity for drama as a production lmao#*coughs* but anyway#LET ME INNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN#I HEARD NAKANISHI SAN IS REALLY GETTING INTO IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! HES ALREADY FINDING THAT STRIDE DESPITE NOT HAVING A BIG PART#I HEARD JYUSHI AND HITOYAS PARTS WERE FUN LMAO LET ME INNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
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glad we all agree Allan LXG is forgettable at best. sure sure the story needs an old British hero to work but what is his personality really. Sean Connery playing him like every single sentence he says is utter torment also doesn't help.
#I feel bad for Sean ngl because hes a great actor and he did a good job but#you can FEEL his discomfort in the acting and even in the interviews#the hate he developed for Norrington while filming LXG...#bruh they had to delay entire scenes because they argued over EVERYTHING#Sean and Steve arguing ruined a lot of the filming for all the team involved which is a shame because the movie is well directed#and most of the cast is doing a phenomenal job like putting their hearts into it and enjoying themselves and loving their characters#it makes me sad#the movie isnt like. terrible. its cheesy its corny its got its faults#but I think the most glaring issues in the writing and direction (the messy pacing and the wooden delivery) would have been fixed#if they had gotten another actor to play allan#because no offense- Sean was a great actor I really like his acting style and he was a very handsome man. rip Sean you were a real one#but man he just got into the project out of curiosity and then was miserable through the whole thing and made it worse for everyone#ofc Steve Norrington is also. not free of sin in this. I feel bad for Sean because Norrington seems like- like he didnt handle it well#the both of them didnt act professional...#bruh I wrote a whole ass essay in the tags lol whats wrong w me lmao
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Astrology observations #5đ€
đI wrote these for fun, based on how i see these placements. i'm not a professional! hope you enjoy theseđ
âcancer placements allow themselves to feel their emotions. they may get annoyed by the intensity or the amount of them, but they process them fully, and this makes it easier for them to move on. random thought but writing letters to people they like may be something they do or did as kids haha. they're very romantic
âsome aries venuses have obsessive tendencies when they have a crush, and they get frustrated a lot if they think they can't/shouldn't pursue them. they enjoy the tension, but they don't want it to last too long because they dislike not being in control, and having feelings for someone leaves them feeling too vulnerable. that's why they try to move on if they can, but it takes work. when they do find someone, they become really clingy but they still need freedom when it suits them
âmars in libra avoid conflicts and try to be reasonable about everything, but if they think you crossed a line, you'll see why aries is their sister sign pretty soon. once they tell you off, you'll never see them the same way, so underrestimate them at your cost
âhaving stelliums can be interesting. it for sure puts a lot of emphasis on the influence of that house on your life, and i found that it can be both positive and negative since they face lots of challenges related to their house but also many blessings. those who have stelliums kind of embody multiple characteristics simultaneously
âsun in the 11th people glow when they are with their closest friends. they also tend to dream big and care a lot about the world. their friends usually help them in their future goals. they feel a bit different than people in their hometown/country, mostly because they cannot be tied down to a single culture because they enjoy different things, which usually makes them quite open-minded and tolerant. they can be picky about the people they let in super close though
âmars in the 6th can procrastinate a lot actually, but they get things done. may get sudden waves of high energy and get things done rapidly and extensively. they expect a lot from themselves regarding their ambitions and aspirations. they try to improve themselves in any way most of the time, but they should also accept their current state if they want to evolve and love themselves. they need to watch out for their moral perfectionism too. it's okay to make mistakes as long as you apologise and strive to change for the better
âi've found that virgo mercuries can be really direct, even if they are shy or don't talk much around strangers or acquaintances, they have their moments. super funny too
ânorth node in cancer struggle with accepting their vulnerable side. they hate feeling like things and people can evoke strong emotions in them. they want to be more detached, but those that work on themselves find it very rewarding once they embrace their strong emotions. they can also be really reliable, practical, and thoughtful
âfire+water combinations in birth charts-i am sending you a hug. i know exactly how difficult it is to keep all those emotions under check, and that you need a lot of understanding and rest to function. use those emotions and passions well hun, you are strong and capable. you have a lot of empathy and wonder inside of you
âcapricorn sun/mercury have a dry way of texting. their humor is difficult to read via text and they simply are not fans of texting, and it shows lol
âaries mercuries are not always available online and they may come and go when they're online, but they'll answer all of your messages one by one with lots of enthusiasm. they also like to send memes and joke around a lot
âvirgo mercuries are not fans of texting and they can answer you after a couple of days or so even if they really like you. similarly to aries, they'll make sure they answer everything and they also pay attention to every detail you mention. very sweet really. their humor shines brighter in person
âtaurus moon are very capable. they may prefer rest over anything else, but their patience and dedication to the things they need to do is really cool. they are calm most of the time so it's nice to be around them, just don't disrespect them and everyone will thrive
âtaurus venus men can be really possessive. even if you like such behavior, some can go to extremes and try to control how you feel, think, and behave. they have a specific image of an ideal partner and they want you to fulfill it
âlibra venus tend to care about how they look and present themselves so they put lots of effort into that. they also have standards when it comes to beauty and some expect others to dress and look well, whether they know them or not
âwomen with venus in aquarius-you may be attracted to men who are mysterious and act like they're special. just be careful because there are so many toxic ones out there who want a relationship but not truly, because they don't want to dedicate themselves to you and maybe plan on using you
âpisces moon can feel like they're drowning in their own emotions sometimes because they cannot control them easily and they tend to give in. if they like to portray themselves as a martyr these emotions can get out of hand because they let those emotions lead them which influences their mental health and relationships. those who are developed process these emotions and try to figure them out and let them pass. they can learn a lot about themselves and others this way. creative outlets can be of help to process this
âleo moon need to watch out for hurting people when their ego is hurt because they can lash out and make lots of damage. take a second to think whether it's worth it or not, since there is no point in trying to "win" in a fight with someone you love
âpisces mars can be too forgiving, especially to those they care about. don't let people walk over you dear, no matter who they are. nobody deserves that kind of treatment
thank you for reading!đ€i also offer paid astrology readings, so check out my blog for more info
©rosesnbooks
#astrology#astrology observations#astro observations#dividers credit goes to cafekitsune#rosesnbooks#photos from pinterest by yuya and R41N#this one feels more personal than others perhaps so i hope i won't insult anyone#i just like my observations to be more nuanced. i usually look at the positive sides so this one is a bit darker. hope you don't mind
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Heyyaaa
May I request dorm leaders finding out youâre a girl please? If itâs too much u can make a part 2
Dorm Leaders Find Out You're a Girl?!?!?! (NOT CLICKBAIT!!!)
TW: Mentions of transphobia (nothing awful, just literally dropping the word lol); Idia is creepy
Info: Riddle, Leona, Azul, Kalim, Vil, Idia, Malleus x Reader (Platonic or Romantic); Fluff, Comedy(?)
đThis one is gonna be long, like 5.3k words long. I love writing the dorm leaders so damn much <3 Besides, thereâs been a long wait for this one, so I hope I make it worth it! You might see some favoritism shine through, but I did my best to keep it even. Hope you all enjoy!
Tags: @kierancaz @danchann33 @arashrita @the-ace-reader @akiyamasmizuki @kitsun369 @bloomstruck (I think I got all of you)
First Years
Ortho Sebek
Second Years
Third Years
-Okay so, I know weâre all wondering, how the hell do you get away with hiding your gender for so damn long?
-Firstly, those ceremonial robes do great at hiding the figure. The only tell would maybe be your hair, but feminine men arenât unwelcome at Nightraven College, so you mostly get a few questioning stares and thatâs it.
-Secondly, Crowley wants to save his own fucking ass. He already has to hide from the press that he has a MAGICLESS student from ANOTHER DIMENSION here, he doesnât need the fact that you are a woman ALSO on his plate. So, obviously, he helps you hide your gender from others.
-Grim knows, of course, and he keeps his mouth shut for a few yummy cans of tuna (and threats of being expelled from Crowley <3)
-Even when you were just a janitor, he couldnât have the rumor that he put a âhelplessâ young woman to work. (Like it wouldnât be expected.)
-So how do you two do it?
-Baggy ass uniform. Crowley gave you at least three sizes too big.
-Your figure is completely hidden. Sure, you look completely homeless, but at least youâre hidden.
-For your voice, you simply deepen it. After some point, you blackmail Crowley into giving you a potion to help with it, since it's so taxing on your voice. (Or maybe your voice is naturally deep!)
-Sam provides you (for an unfairly pretty penny (not too different from your original worldâŠ)) any feminine hygiene products you might need.
-Honestly, youâre set for being cared for, but itâs the adjustment period thatâs the hardest part.Â
-Truly, itâs very jarring to suddenly be thrown into both a magical world and be isolated in a man's world with nowhere to hide.
-At least in your world you had other women who could understand your struggles. Here though? Youâre completely alone.
-You notice how⊠messy some of these guys could be. How some of them smell⊠really rancid. -How rough they were with you and each other.
-Honestly, itâs kinda eye-opening. The way men show affection to each other is oddly refreshing to watch and experience!
-Ace and Deuce specifically are a good⊠trial run.
-Thatâs not what weâre here to talk about thoughâŠ
-For the most part, it's incredibly easy to hide yourself for the first while on campus. Everyone on campus is so self-absorbed that they donât bother questioning you.
-Your only real risk factor is Savannaclaw, but it's easy to avoid those guys (minus Jack, of course).
-However, you can only hide your gender for so long⊠Itâs mentally draining to keep up this facade all the time around people you care about.
-So⊠how do they find out?
Riddle
-Riddle is the last student in Heartslabyul to find out.
-Itâs not like he did anything to you for you to hold off on telling him (you know, other than the whole almost killing you that one time thing), itâs just that you donât feel inclined to tell him.Â
-Simple as that.
-He also really has no reason to question your gender.Â
-Riddle didnât have must interaction with people his own age until he came to night raven college, he doesnât have the same social ideologies as other people do.
-Nightraven college is really his first touch with society outside of his mothers very watchful, conservative eye.
-So, excuse him for not picking up on stupid little gendered norms that the other students do.
-In his eyes, you dress like a man, you act (sort of) like the other male students, and you prefer he/him pronouns.Â
-Thereâs nothing more to it then, right? If you identify as a man, he has no reason not to treat you as such - nor should he suspect you would hide your gender like that.
-Besides, this is an all boys school! Crowley wouldnât allow you to attend here unless you were also a boy⊠right?
-He is aware there are exceptions â and you are already QUITE the exception, but surely Crowley wouldnât be so cruel as to force a young woman to attend an all boys academy.
-Ah, sweet Riddle, ever in denial.
-He isnât STUPID though. He notices how brotherly Trey is to you. He knows (and has heard) your many âsecret sleepoversâ with Cater.
-He ignores these things and doesnât comment on them simply because, well, he likes you!
-He helps to tutor you sometimes, and heâs gotten to know you through that, and he really does come around on enjoying your presence.
-So, he ignores Trey and Caterâs odd behaviors for your sake.
-You keep him and his dorm members in high spirits, why would he want to shoo something like that away?
-He doesnât really questionthings until he⊠overhears a conversation between Deuce and Ace. (A rather loud one, for how supposedly secret this topic was meant to be).
-One of them had gotten in trouble with a professor, and he was going to give them a stern scolding when he overheard what they were talking about.
-âDeuce, dude, youâre gonna want to sit down for this one.â
âWhat is it, Iâm busy trying to finish my potionology homework.â
âSeriously this one is crazy, youâre not ready for for it.â
âAce, if youâre just messing with me Iâm going to leave.â
âDude, the prefect is a girl.â
ââŠWhat?â
-Riddle did not bother the two after that. In fact, he just walked back to his room to sit and think about what he just overheard.
-It DID make sense. You didnât quite fit in with everyone else for reasons outside of your otherworldly origin.
-You acted differently than the typical guy here at NRC, and you seemed to get along with the peers that were more âtraditionally feminineâ best.
-It would explain Treyâs coddling and Caterâs secretiveness.
-Still, he didnât want to assume. This was Ace and Deuce, and Ace could just be messing around with Deuce.
-So, at your next tutoring session, he broaches the subject as politely as possible.
-âSo, prefect, I have⊠overheard something that I wanted to ask you about.â
âOh no, am I in trouble because of Ace and Deuce again.â
âNot⊠technically⊠I did, however, overhear them talking about⊠you being a woman.â
ââŠIâm gonna kill them.â
âI could collar them for you, if that would help.â
-The confirmation was reassuring for Riddle in multiple ways.Â
-1) Ace isnât as terrible of a person as the thought he was.
-2) He wasnât crazy in noticing the slight differences in you and your other peers.
-Now, you and Riddle arenât exactly super close by any means, so your interactions with each other are limited to when youâre either being tutored or with friends in Heartslabyul.
-However, he is notably more nervous than he usually is.
-He doesnât have some super secret crush on your all of the sudden, he just⊠never really had a chance to interact with women before.
-His mom kept him very sheltered from the opposite gender, so he has little to no experience with them.
-On top of that, because of his mother, he does have a slight fear of women. Heâs afraid heâs going to upset you and youâll blow a fuse on him or something.
-You have to assure him that you donât bite and you wonât suddenly start screaming at him for no reason, and then he begins to relax a bit.
-Still, heâs very sweet and gentlemanly to you.
-If you need help with anyone around campus, you should come to him and he will have them dealt with accordingly.
Leona
-Leona âRespects Womenâ Kingscholar.
-Leona has SLIGHTLY worse smell than Ruggie, but he also knew immediately upon your arrival that you were a girl.
-In fact, he knew you werenât a trans man, because they smell distinctly different from the typical woman.
-There arenât many trans people in the Savannah though, so Ruggie not being able to pick up on that doesnât really shock him.
-Leona, however, has smelled and seen plenty of trans people in his life time â you arenât one of them.
-He wonât lie, heâs definitely interested in you. Women where he comes from are big and strong and proud, youâre just kind of plain.
-He keeps his ever curious eye on you though, because heâs interested in how you might navigate this whole thing.
-Now donât get it twisted, he doesnât care about you, heâs curious about you.Â
-If you were to ask him for help on something, he wouldnât offer it. (Not that you would, you seem particularly averse to him).
-However, if he were to see some creep trying to⊠well⊠creep on you, heâd chase them away without ever having you know he did.
-He was your secret bodyguard who wouldnât admit it even if you held a knife to his throat.
-Still, he stayed out of your way and you stayed out of his.Â
-A symbiotic relationship that you werenât even aware existed⊠until you got in his way.
-Like Ruggie, when you start getting a little too involved in his ahem business, he gets pretty damn annoyed.
-Youâre not exactly a threat to start, but you are a little trouble maker. If you find out what heâs up to, youâll ruin his plans completely, and he canât have that.
-However, heâs not exactly comfortable âtaking care of youâ like he is his male peers.
-He respects women, okay, you canât blame him for not wanting to purposefully hurt you. (If his mom and brother found out, heâd never hear the damn end of it)
-He sends out Ruggie to scare you off, explicitly telling him he canât hurt you on purpose.
-He knows Ruggie already has an idea of whatâs going on, so he doesnât have any qualms with telling him to be careful with you.
-Still, despite all this, he doesnât really broach the topic until heâs forced to.
-Heâs made it known to you, at this point, that he knows your secret.Â
-He hasnât caused you any extra trouble since his overblot, and he keeps his dorm members off your back, so you have no reason to interact with him⊠until, again, you get yourself into trouble.
-This time itâs YOU dragging him into your mess, despite him wanting nothing to do with it.
-You are convincing, though, so he gives and allows you to stay in his dorm room â rent free! Isnât he so nice.
-Jack offers himself for protection if you need it, but you can see that Ruggie is quite bemused with the whole situation, so you decide to turn him down.
-Leona hasnât tried anything yet, and he really could if he wanted to.
-You decide you can trust him. (You have to trust him).
-Then presents the issue of sharing a bed.
-Leona isnât a weird pervert, okay. He isnât absolutely leaping at the idea to be in bed with you â heâs so sorry.
-Honestly, it makes him a bit⊠uncomfortable.
-Sharing a bed is something you do with family or someone youâre involved with, not the weird magic-less kid whoâs at least three years too young for you.
-So, Leona, ever the womenâs rights activist, approaches you with a proposition.
-âListen, I know youâre a woman and I know you know that. Weâre not sharing a bed, there ainât no way thatâs happening.â
âOh, so would you like the poor helpless homeless woman to sleep on the floor? How cruel can you be Leona.â
âShut up, Iâm not gonna do that to you. Listen, you can have the bed all to yourself and Iâll sleep on the couch, so long as you promise not to tell a single soul about this.â
âI promise.â
-You immediately tell Ruggie the next morning, and he is sure to make sure Leona never forgets it.
-Living with Leona for the short period of time that you do is very insightful!
-Heâs actually pretty funny, much smarter than he lets on, and almost brotherly to you. Which does not fit the M.O. you built of him in your head.
-Heâs gruff and pushy, but he does it out of genuineness.
-You end up getting really close to him because of it.Â
-His quiet and laid-back demeanor are a break from the chaos of everyone else on campus, and he doesnât make a big deal out of anything so you can just complain and he nods along unbothered.
-Only thing you notice that upsets him is when you bring up guys who bother you.
-Those guys tend to stop bothering you shortly after. How strangeâŠ
Azul
-Azul is hands down the last person on campus you want knowing about this.
-Riddle, Ruggie, Trey, Cater and pretty much everyone with half a brain tell you to stay as far away from him as possible.
-You see him in the halls sometimes, and he doesnât look to bad. Unapproachable, sure, but heâs a rather pretty guy. Well put together and seemingly very smart from what youâve been told.
-He helped to subdue Grim in the opening ceremony, so you know heâs magically capable. Heâs also a house warden, so that goes unspoken, I suppose.
-He seems interested in you, from what you can tell. He always waves at you when he does see you in a sort of fake friendly kind of way.Â
-Youâve seen him and his little (large, very large) goonies admiring ramshackle before.
-Youâve also politely asked them to not do that when you moved in, because it freaks you out a lot. To which they all gave you very eerie smiles and walked away.
-They remind you of a very small mafia, and you decided to heed your friends warnings because of that.
-You do so successfully for a long time too. Other than the few previously stated interactions, Azul seems un-inclined to bother you, and you donât want to catch his leering eyes.
-Little do you know, Azul has a much more watchful eye on you that you initially thought.
-Sure, you donât have much to offer him magic wise, but you have ramshackle. Oh, how he wants ramshackle.
-You are key to obtaining it, he just⊠has to find something on you first.
-Youâre so painfully average. Perhaps a little more pretty in the face than his other peers, but you sacrifice that with the atrociousness of your uniform.Â
-Truly, nothing about you is different.
-He almost gives up until Grim delivers him an opportunity in a pretty little bow.
-You agree to his contract out of the goodness of your heart, just like he knew you would. So sweet and kind are you, to practically hand him the deed to ramshackle on a silver platter.
-He notices, however, that Jade grows a very⊠sudden fascination with you.
-Sure, he told both Jade and Floyd to keep and eye on you and keep you in like, but for Jade to be so interested⊠very odd.
-Then, shortly after, Floydâs own interest is piqued. Alright⊠less odd than Jade, but to have both of their eyes on you must mean heâs missing something. (I know I previously said that Floyd found out after Azul, but I was stupid and wrong and you should never listen to me when Iâm talking about Floyd).
-He tries to get it out of them by any means, Asking, blackmailing, manipulation. He really does try, but their lips are sealed tight.
-It frustrates him to no end that they know something he doesnât, and that he canât figure out this very big secret.
-It stumps him for so long, because heâs looking in all the wrong places for the answer.
-Meanwhile, you know that Jade and Floyd know and you are TERRIFIED waiting for Azul to use this against you.
-The suspense starts killing you and making you anxious enough that its affecting sleep, so you decide to bite the bullet and arrange a meeting with him.
-Azul is honestly delighted, because he was just going to outright force the truth from you at this point.
-âIâm glad you set up this meeting, Iâve been meaning to talk to you.â
âI know⊠Iâve been pretty nervous about it since Jade and Floyd started pestering me.â
âBefore I talk about what I want to, Iâd like to hear what you have to say. Iâm a good listener after all.â
âToo good, if you ask me. Uhm, anyway, so I know that Jade and Floyd to you that Iâm a girl already, but Iâm really hoping you would just leave me be. You owe me after all.â
ââŠYouâre a girl?â
âDid they not tell youâŠ?â
-what. What? WHAT?!?!?!
-How could he not tell, he feel so incredibly stupid. Its so obvious now that he thinks about it.
-No wonder Jade and Floyd wouldnât stop teasing him about it.
-He agrees not to let the secret out â he DOES owe you his life, after all. This is a minor trade.
-However, he does not mentally recover from this revelation for a while.
-He doesnât treat you very different, I suppose. Heâs more gentlemanly with you, and is generally more friendly, but those things come from saving a persons life regardless.
-He is, surprisingly, willing to ensure your whole gender thing doesnât get out so long as you work a few hours at the monster lounge.
-Probably the best at keeping it to himself and making sure it doesnât get out. You wouldnât expect any less with Azul, though.
Kalim
-You and Kalim donât really have much of a chance to interact.
-He seems sweet enough, and you know heâs much kinder than the rest of the dorm leaders, but you donât really have any reason to interact with him.
-Kalim also doesnât think too much of you.Â
-You caused a ruckus at the entrance ceremony, thatâs for sure, but you kinda blend into the background.
-Besides heâs a party animal â constantly hosting these huge parties at his dorm just because he can.
-As someone trying to keep out of trouble and hide such a huge secret⊠yeah, parties arenât exactly your forte.
-So, when you get roped in to coming to Scarabia over winter break, Kalim is pleasantly surprised!
-Heâs always excited to make a new friend, and youâre pretty infamous around school, so heâs extra excited to get to know you.
-Kalim has no reason to question anything about you, like most other people would.
-However, he isnât stupid. He has plenty of younger sisters, and he picks up on social queues better than youâd expect.
-He definitely suspects something is off, but he figures you would tell him if something was up.Â
-You actually find him quite easy to be around. Heâs someone who makes it easy to let your walls down and just relax with.
-Despite his sudden mood shifts, he always makes sure that youâre happy and healthy and doing the best you can be in your position.
-However, you run out of the magical potion that deepens your voice pretty quickly, and you have to go back to dramatically straining your voice.
-You sound sick, honestly, and it makes Kalim worry.Â
-He figures that youâre forcing yourself to deepen your voice so youâre still perceived as a man.
-Instead of asking you directly, as Kalim does, he goes to Jamil.
-âJamilâŠâ
âWhat do you need, Kalim?â
âDonât you think somethings⊠off with the prefect?â
âOff? What are you talking about, nothings off with them.â
âNo, I mean⊠do you think they might be⊠a girl?â
ââŠKalim, thatâs very rude to say. You need to be more respectful.â
ââŠYouâre right, Iâm sorry. Could we get him something to soothe his voice though, it sounds rough.â
-Kalim is a lot more watchful of you after that. He just⊠knows something is wrong, but he doesnât want to be rude.
-Itâs actually you who comes to him when no one is around for help.
-âKalim, uhm, I need your help.â
âSure, whatâs up?â
âSo, Iâm pretty sure you know, but Iâm not a guy⊠Iâm a girl, and I really need help hiding it. The longer Iâve been here, the harder itâs been on me.â
-Sweetheart he is, he promises to both help you and keep your secret to himself â and he does both surprisingly well!
-He offers his private bathroom to you so you can shower in peace.Â
-Itâs honestly the best bath youâve ever had with all his sweet smelling oils. Your skin feels so smooth and renewed.
-Still, even with this, you still donât feel safe with anyone else â plus the fact that Kalim has random and horrifying mood shifts. You have to flee.
-And yet you still get dragged into more trouble with the octatrio. You still get exposed to the whole dorm by a crazed Jamil, and now have to deal with the horror that theyâll tell everyone.
-Kalim feels awful, and thus shows his forgiveness in the best way he can: giving gifts.
-You get tons of apology gifts from him in the coming months. Baskets of the best shower stuff youâve ever had; a new, better fitted but still innocuous uniform; enough tuna to keep grim satisfied for years (and sweets that you happily keep to yourself).
-Itâs so nice, but you start to feel bad. It feels like youâre taking advantage of his guilt, when youâre not really upset at anyone involved anymore.
-Youâre welcome at Scarabia any time. None of his dorm members will ever cause you any trouble, and you can dress and act and sound however you want within Scarabiaâs walls.Â
Vil
-Miss beauty queen himself. We love Vil, we Stan Vil, we adore VilâŠÂ
-Oh my god heâs a pain in the ass though, especially for you.
-He sees through you in an instant.
-Truly, Vil finds you to be more of a little pest than anything.
-You are constantly in trouble, you are magic less, and you decided to needlessly hide your gender.
-The last one is the worst offense in his eyes.
-Vil is someone who does not value gender, but expression. Your gender does not matter as much as your expression, therefore you hiding your expression irks him.
-Heâs understanding enough in the fact that he knows you might be doing this to protect yourself, but he finds it stupid and useless, because youâre easy to see through.
-He avoids you, and you avoid him. Simple as that.
-Unfortunately for Vil, youâve caught Rookâs eye, which means he must sit through many hours of Rook rambling on about his âfindingsâ about you.
-When you tried out for the VDC, he was simply going to turn you and Grim away, but Rook convinced him to give you a chance.
-Rook wanted him to help your reveal your âinner beautyâ, though Vil wasnât sure if you had any of that.
-You wore baggy, horrifically ugly clothing up until winter break. Your hair was constantly a mess. Your skin was poorly taken care of, and the bags under your eyes were as dark as night.
-It almost made him feel bad for you⊠so despite his better judgement, he decided to invest time in you.
-Vil makes it very clear that he knows what your whole secret is.
-âI am aware of the fact that you are a woman, however, I will continue to use your preferred pronouns since it seems to bring you comfort.â
-Heâs very insistent that you allow him to do your skincare AND your makeup whenever you give him the chance.
-Especially when he moves into ramshackle temporarily, heâs very insistent on maintaining your skincare routine.
-He essentially makes your entire nightly routine himself, and is right there over your shoulder making sure you do it right.
-Despite how overbearing it is, you actually make good friends with him through this.
-Being stuck alone in a room with no one but him to talk to forces you two to talk.
-You get to learn why he cares so much about appearances, and he gets to know why you hide to protect yourself.
-âItâs just⊠easier to pretend, because guys will bother me less that way.â
âI canât understand why they would bother you. Youâve done nothing to them, so why would they want to do anything to you.â
âThatâs the thing, I donât know either. I just know itâs scary, and I donât want to deal with it.â
-You move him, honestly. Youâre strong even though youâre scared, and thatâs beautiful. Thats what true beauty is.
-He helps you embrace your inner self and express that, while still helping you to hide your gender in a way that feels safe.
-You are always welcome at Pomefiore, and you can come to either him or Rook if you have any issues at all.
-Itâs like having a big sister, almost.
Idia
-Idia has eyes everywhere.
-Every inch of that campus is (illegally) being monitored by his watchful eyes.Â
-When heâs bored in class, he flicks through the cameras to amuse himself â maybe heâll see someone slip and fall on their ass. That would be funny.
-Heâs not really interested in you in particular.
-In fact, heâd like to keep a very far distance between the two of you.
-Youâre⊠intimidating. Youâve fought some of the most powerful mages on campus and won.
-Total final boss energy, not something Idia is interested in being around.
-What he IS interested in is that wittle kitty youâve got following you around.
-When heâs bored in class, he goes searching for Grim, and where Grim is you are sure to be.
-So, despite his aversion to you, he ends up spending a lot of time watching you.
-He starts to notice⊠things about you.
-He notices that you seem to put on a tough guy persona around⊠well⊠other guys in your class.
-When itâs just you and Grim though? Youâre the softest softie heâs ever seen.
-Itâs top tier cringe watching you try to being all macho, so he much prefers your more quiet and relaxed self you show in private.
-Seriously though, youâre a TOTALLY DIFFERENT PERSON when youâre alone with certain people.
-EVEN YOUR VOICE CHANGES!!!
-Itâs so uber creepy, itâs like a jumpscare every time you drop that fake deep voice.
-If heâs being real, youâve got a pretty voice. Honestly, youâre really pretty period. Too pretty to be a guy honestly.
-âŠ
-âŠ.
-âŠ..HOLY SHIT!!!
-He has to check your medical files to be sure â which he obviously has access to, thanks to having access to everything Ortho has access to.
-Blah blah blah allergies, blah blah blah horrific injuries from overblots, blah blah blah- AH HAH!
-Next to gender you are listed as⊠transgender man.
-He doesnât wanna be that weird transphobic incel, but from what heâs seen? He highly doubts that.
-From what heâs seen in his (invasive) watching, youâre definitely doing the troupe of hiding your gender to better fit in.
-He feels like heâs in an anime or something.
-He doesnât really want to bother you about it â but from watching you, you seem like someone heâd really enjoy being around.
-Ortho also insists that heâd get along with you very well!
-âŠItâs worth a shot right.
-He tries several times to âbumpâ into you, which always ends in him skittering away in fear.
-He psyches himself out every time. âThey wouldnât even wanna hang out with a loser like me.â âTheyâre way too cool for someone as lame as me.âÂ
-Itâs not until you invite yourself to one of tabletop clubâs meetings that heâs forced to interact with you.
-Heâs really banking on the fact that youâll be too busy talking with Azul to notice him, but then Azul leaves and its just you and him.
-Him and youâŠ
-Both of you⊠in total and complete silence.
-âŠyepâŠÂ
-âUhm, IdiaâŠ?â
âyES!?â
âI came here cause I wanted to talk to you, sorry for being so underhanded about it, I just couldnât get you alone without you running off.â
âAHâ I mean, ahem, okay. My bad.â
-You totally cornered him like an evil villain.
-All because you wanted to⊠be his friend?
-Is he dreaming, going insane perhaps, did HE get isekaied into an alternate universe where he was likable???
-Nope, Ortho just talks him up a lot, and you think his hair is cool. Huh. Kinda lame compared to what he was thinking.
-You guys talk a LOT after that. You exchange numbers and you text him about all sorts of stuff â and heâs actually interested in it!
-You learn that heâs been watching you and Grim for a long time, and while you scold him.
-You think itâs pretty funny that heâs embarrassed about his love for cute things.
-âIf youâve been keeping your eye on me for so long, you mustâve figured out that Iâm a girl, right?â
âYeah, youâre not great at hiding it. That macho guy act is suuuuper lame, you look like a noob lol.â
âHey! Iâm just copying what Deuce told me to do!â
-You guys donât really see each other face to face very often, but like I said you text a lot.
-Sometimes heâll text you shit like âI saw that, saved it for blackmail.â After you biffed your shit on the pavement or something.
-When Idia gets more comfortable, you two spend hours on call whenever you get the chance.
-He lends you some of his precious manga, and even gives you an older TV he had laying around so you can watch stuff at ramshackle.
-Sometimes he invites you over to play video games with him and Ortho, and he gets all cocky and proud when you gush about how cool all his tech is.
-And, yeah, Idia definitely forms a little crush on you â but he would do that regardless of your gender.Â
-He just likes you a lot, and you can feel safe on campus knowing heâs watching over you when you need it. (Mostly watching Grim, tbh.)
Malleus
-We know that Malleus enjoys⊠creeping outside of Ramshackle.
-He spends quite a lot of time on your front lawn, therefore, heâs usually in proximity of you.
-However, he is very intimidating!
-As a young woman in a magical world that you are not from, a very tall man with horns is the exact opposite of what you want to be around.
-Besides, youâve heard the rumors about him â how powerful he is, and how scary he is.
-Malleus, on the other hand, is admittedly curious about you.
-He finds humans in their own right incredibly interesting, but you are not just a regular human.
-You are a human who has no magic and is from another world entirely.Â
-You are something he has never once seen in his whole life, so excuse his childish curiosity.
-Still, youâre sort of cleverly avoiding him at every chance you get, and he just canât quite find the time to talk to you.
-Until one night, you come back rather late and you find him in your yard⊠again.
-You send Grim in by himself and decide to confront him by yourself, because you are tired of being afraid to fall asleep at night.
-âHey, you, could you maybe not stare at my house in the middle of the night!â
-Oh. You are quite feisty, and very bold to approach Malleus Draconia with such an aggressive tone.
-âIâm unsure what you mean, Iâm simply admiring the architecture.â
âI donât care WHAT youâre doing, youâre freaking me out! I know youâre supposedly some big scary monster guy, but I need you to STOP being weird outside my house.â
ââŠMy apologiesâŠâ
-Malleus is pleasantly surprised at your spunk â heâs never been spoken to like that, heâs excited by it.
-After you yell at him, you let him explain himself, and you realize he is just⊠really, really bad at socializing.
-He wasnât watching you, he just really enjoys silence and ramshackle is the quietest place on campus â even with you living in it.
-So, you give him the benefit of the doubt, because he really does just seem like heâs lost on everything around him 90% of the time.
-You donât hang out with him during the day, but if you happen to see him on your lawn (as he usually is), you go out and hang out with him for a while.
-It makes Malleus happy, because you treat him like a friend. You give him cute nicknames, and you invite him inside for snacks, and you go out of your way to say hello to him when you pass him in the halls.
-He also gets to know more about you, and his curiosities about you and your world get quelled.
-He doesnât really question anything about you, especially not your gender.
-Gender is hardly important for fae, and you seem confident in your expression, so he has no reason to wonder. Besides, there are far more thrilling things about you than your sex.
-So, you and Malleus start to grow close. So close, in fact, that you can confidently say that heâs one of your closest friends.
-At this point, almost everyone who you want to know about your gender knows. Everyone but Malleus.
-Initially you kept it a secret because you didnât know how good he was at not talking, but nowâŠ
-Now, well, you donât really have a reason.
-People usually question you at this point, or at least seem suspicious, but Malleus?
-Malleus shows not a hint that he thinks something is up. Itâs odd to you, isnât he supposed to be super smart or something. Maybe heâs just too respectful.
-Regardless, you decided to talk to him about it the next time you see him staring at the gargoyles around campus.
-âHey Tsunotaro, whatâre you up to?â
âJust admiring these gargoyles here, arenât they fascinating? They were the first few installed in the school, if my memory serves me correctly.â
âThey are very cool, but could I ask you something not gargoyle related?â
âWhat is it, child of man?â
âYou know that Iâm, uhm, a girl right?â
âOh. I did not know that, how interesting.â
-He doesnât understand why you would hide that, but it doesnât really perturb him that much.
-The most you got was an eyebrow raise, and then he was back to his gargoyles.
-You were pretty satisfied with that, so you figured he wouldnât tell anyone⊠and then you hear him loudly talking about it with his friends in Diasomania.
-Sigh⊠he means well, but he just doesnât get the social stuff.
-Youâre not mad, because pretty much everyone knows at this point, but it still sucks that heâs such a loudmouth.
#bunni's treats đ§#twst#twisted wonderland#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#x reader#twst headcanons#twst riddle#twst leona#twst azul#twst kalim#twst vil#twst idia#twst malleus#riddle rosehearts x reader#leona kingscholar x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#kalim al asim x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#idia shroud x reader#malleus draconia x reader#malleus draconia#idia shroud#vil schoenheit#kalim al asim#azul ashengrotto#leona kingscholar#riddle rosehearts
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dear lord, when i get to heaven, please let me bring my man (à·Ëá”Ëà·)⥠fr omg
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pairing: idol!lee felix x fem!reader
âŠsummary: You got your dream job on one of the most important day for fashion industry, everything seems like a fairy tale, until you meet one of the people you are working for, which complicates your thoughts, a guy with an angelic face, however he is for you the devil wearing custom couture Tommy Hilfiger.
â content - tags - warnings: smut / one night stand / use of ây/nâ/ handjob / oral sex / soft degrading / dom felix / semi public sex / unprotected sex / etc lol
word count: 5.1k
(masterlist)
⥠notes: 2024 felix at the met gala âĄ
a/n: had to write smth ab my man looking this good on a big day, oopsies / all fiction, don't really know how's behind scenes lol / i'm watching the series so i'm romanticizing the carrie type of writing, enjoy!
Thereâs an old saying⊠âwhat happens in Vegas, stay in Vegasâ, and for the New Yorkers with enough amount of luck, the equivalent of that would be: âwhat happens in the Met Gala, stays in the Met gala.â
You either had to be a celebrity with high status, or a very wealthy person⊠or sometimes, just part of the staff; yes you were in last link, but you were still happy.
There you were, on the first Monday of May, standing outside of the iconic decorated stairs of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, on the also iconic, 5th avenue of East side of Manhattan. Living your dream, because this year, you were inside, and not anymore as a viewer.
Life was going great for you, youâll graduate from college exactly in nine days, and you were booked as a tour guide in the Met Gala a month ago. It was your dream job, even though you majored in journalism, working for Vogue was always your dream to be, youâve been applying for the Met ever since you turned eighteen, and finally there you were wearing a vintage YSL black dress, from a vintage store in Soho, whose rent costs more than you apartmentâs, with some Manolo shoes, living your little Carrie Bradshaw fantasy. But that didnât matter, yeah, she was a woman with a steady job and you only a freshly graduated who expected to get hired as soon as you get your diploma.
They prepared you the whole past month, and you picked up your ID last week; this was going to look wonderful in your resume. You loved fashion, arts, writing, you didnât care there was another 500 people doing exactly the same as you, you were there, living inside your bubble of the gossip girl and devil wears Prada vibes.
A lot of people hated New York; but you never could, you had a nice apartment on west side of Manhattan and an incredible fashion taste. You had to work as a staff for one the most emerging kpop groups, Stray Kids, or at least thatâs what you read about online, you did your research: eight male members, only two of them fluent in English and the rest of them just shy to speak it out loud⊠you werenât that unfamiliar at all, you recognized kpop is one of the greatest genres these days, but you were twenty one and going through your finals as the provided you that information, so you followed their social medias, caught up a little in their updates, learned their names and faces âwhich was very importantâ, but couldnât fully concentrate in how handsome they were or at least get yourself a little of fangirlism. Once again, you were sinking in the lasts and very important moments of college.
So the thing was simple, they usually bring their own people around but for this event was the exception, once they stepped on the radar of these popular stairs, they were under the Met Gala staff, thatâs when you get in.
You were waiting for them standing among the group of people who would be working the same as you, all with their dress code in black-only etiquette, to go unnoticed. It was your first Met Gala, although you didn't want to flatter yourself either in such a big way, but you had chosen a sexy dress with your back uncovered, you wanted simplicity, but not too much. The heels were starting to bother you a bit until, as fate would have it, a stout black man in charge of monitoring, with headphones on his bald head and clipboard in his hand shouted in a strong New York accent to the group of people you were in.
âThe following celebrities are Stray Kids, I repeat so you can listen in the back, Stray Kids is coming! Their team step up to lead them in.â
Nerves got the better of you, it was your turn; you had seen your other âcolleaguesâ guide their respective assigned celebrities, so now it was your time. You hurried to the entrance, along with another girl and two other men. The large black van pulled up to sidewalk and finally, just as you had researched, eight pretty East Asian looking men exited one by one.
You tried to identify the one you had previously studied as their leader and one of the English speakers, until he finally emerged just to one side of you.
âIt's this way, boysâ your coworker, who was a little ahead of you, led the way.
The eight of them walked a bit and met their designer, the legitimate Tommy Hilfiger, while among the chaos of noise and nerves you tried to identify each one you were working for; they were all wearing long coats but you could distinguish that it was just to hide their real attire.
But apparently you were not the only one nervous, it was also their first Met Gala, an incredibly big event, a bit out of what they knew, in one of the countries where the music market was of utmost importance to consider and succeed, each one of them recognized that this was an important day and simply one more step in their artistic career. They were all nervous and excited; but even so you noticed a somewhat monotonous expression on each of them, you thought it was just nerves. You got a good look at them all as they talked to their designer in charge and noticed how each one had their own charm, they were attractive and smelled quite nice. You thought about how much fun this job is for you, being around celebrities.
âAnd y/n, right?â he came up to you, the man who had previously been giving directions to your boys.
You nodded, confused, he went on to say:
âIâm informed that you will be going into the museum with them, you can take the leadâ he said in a strangely kind tone.
You smiled at him, you had forgotten the last time you met a nice New Yorker. It was when you realized it was time, you took a breath with your cheeks and released them, once you saw they finished their little talk, you took a step so everyone could see you and introduced yourself; it was part of your job and you had been trained for it. You started with a âhi, guysâ, told them your name and added that you would accompany them to the exhibit. You looked forward to going in there.
You got the attention of all eight of them, after all they were still men, foreign men excited for a new experience. Once you turned around as you led the way you questioned if wearing that open back dress was the best choice, you hadn't really intended it that way; you also didn't expect them all to be 100 times more attractive in person, the pictures you saw on the internet didn't do them justice.
All the members of Stray Kids were with their respective emotions on edge, but especially one of them didn't know how to control himself. Felix, who at all times kept a serious countenance was more than excited and his body was reacting to it, betraying him, he was aroused. He wasn't exactly in the mood for sex, but somehow he felt uncomfortably hard. He was simply an excited little Asian boy with a not-so-little problem. An erection in his pants.
Felix had the experience at these kinds of fashion events, but simply something about this city drove him incredibly crazy. Somehow he was thirsty for sex⊠but he didn't feel like he was at this very moment. He had to put on his best show and control his body, he slyly checked his pants and it was a relief that the design was perfectly loose so it couldn't be noticed. But it all got worse when he saw his pretty young guide and staff for tonight, with her pretty makeup and perfect hair done, with her back uncovered.
Felix read her name on her ID hanging on her body and checked slyly if anyone else of his friends and colleagues thought the same as him⊠he could notice it in the look of his friend Bang Chan, however Felix noticed the little importance that Chan himself gave her and continued treating her with kindness and courtesy, who from time to time gave her a certain look was his other friend Seungmin, who was the master of disguise, but not for Felix, not after knowing him so long and living with him.
But that was just the thrill of the moment, as Felix took full control of his body as he approached his final stretch, an interview and then the longed-for Met Gala stairs. Like a pro idol, he knew how to handle it, and everyone had a spectacular and memorable entrance.
You saw them from afar, Bang Chan had introduced you to each one of them and thanked you for accompanying them even though you hadnât start yet, you thought he was an unreal man, in fact all eight of them were, their perfectly manicured faces and the subtlety of their make-up were to you soâŠ. You were speechless; but if you had to choose one, putting yourself in the shoes of millions of girls around the world even of your age discovering an attractive boy band, maybe among them all⊠it would be the only blond guy with long hair. You thought between sighs how cute he was, you were down bad when it came to cute boys, also the long-haired ones.
You remembered his name, Felix; a little strange, it sounded like an old name but somehow it fit him so well, you thought; now you were not only fulfilling your dream job, you would be together with eight handsome men, you almost wanted to let out a little giggle, but it was time to monitor how well they took the pictures of your âbossesâ as they posed on the carpet.
You waited a moment more before finally entering, it seemed like hours, until finally the doors opened for you and there suddenly you felt your heart burst, not even Felix's pretty face could have impacted you so much, the exhibition of unique pieces in the haute couture of fashion history.
âYou can start to separate and see freelyâ you mentioned to them.
You saw them, they looked totally lost.
âMm, I don't think so, we like to stay togetherâ Chan answered with a nervous smile.
âWell, if you like, we can start hereâŠâ you spoke.
You didn't want to keep them tied up nor did you want to feel like a big deal, you were only going to accompany them and follow their instructions, however they seemed to follow yours; you gave yourself the task of showing them every corner and giving them a little summary of what each exhibit meant, however you couldn't help hiding your excitement, your eyes shone with care and all eight noticed your adorable expression, even those who couldn't fully understand you because of the language barrier, your expressions spoke for themselves. And Felix couldn't take his eyes off you the whole tour.
Felix didn't understand what was wrong with him, whether it was the excitement of the foreigner, the significant change of time zone, his pretty part of the assigned staff, or the incredible urge to have sex. He wasn't normally like that⊠well, at least not in places like these. He left the dirty thoughts for later when he was in the quiet of solitude. But just now he had those thoughts of how hot it must be to be fucking someone while wearing that perfectly tailored suit, making a mess among all the tidiness that went with it all.
He wasn't like that⊠but the more he thought about it, the more he was tempted, he thought it would be the only time he would see you, that you had to be professional and not at all indiscreet, that it would only be one night. He was becoming more and more convinced, what was wrong with him? He was handsome, young, successful and very well endowed, he only needed to show his gifts to someone. Felix thought if that someone could be you; this was not Felix who thinks dating and love were important, suddenly something came over him, like a haughty alter ego blinded by his dazzling fame, ready to just have sex.
The main event started, the dinner and the show, you had gotten a table, only confirmed by the exclusively selected staff in perhaps, one of the worst areas, still you were in, from going to see the Met outside on the street, to being seated next to a bunch of celebrities in the same room; you were so happy you could die the next day thinking you made it.
But once the show was over, little by little so was your spark, it was time to go back to your reality and take a cab home; the folks at that table were mentioning something about an after party, among them and a bunch more⊠but you didn't want the smell of celebrities and fame to leave your pores and get lost in some stranger's apartment.
You were about to check out when a short woman rushes up to you asking if there was any Stray Kids staff at the table.
âHere, me!â you showed her your ID quizzically. âWhat's going on?â
âWhat are you doing here? They're escorting you to the after party.â
Puzzled, you mumbled a âwhat?â and followed her hurried pace as she was leaving.
âAfter party, with who?â
The woman stopped in her tracks and turned to look at you.
âWell, who are you working for.â
Impossible, you thought. You were supposed to check out and you weren't allowed to go outside the museum, they couldn't just invite you like that, could they? Why would they? Besides you were working for the museum, not for them. Sadly, you had to make it clear to them.
You walked towards them who were already at the main exit leaving with other celebrities, you got up the courage and approached them.
âNice to meet you guys, but I think it was a misunderstanding, I can't accompany you, I work for the museum⊠they didn't give me directions to follow you.â
âAnd what time do you leave?â Chan asked you with a hoarse voice and eyes fixed on you.
âJust nowâŠâ you added awkwardly, not knowing what to say as the eight men stared at you.
âPerfectâ Chan said in a thick accent with a smile.
âNow you work for us, let's go to the after partyâ spoke in a cold, distant and arrogant tone the pretty blond boy who had caught your attention.
You had not heard him speak, not until now. You were too surprised by the contrast of his angelic face and his incredibly thick voice.
You were able to register your exit and hurriedly kept up with the boys.
âWe liked the way you explained the exhibition, we will have you as translator nowâ Chan told you as he quickened his pace leaving you behind.
It didn't make the slightest sense what he just said. You don't even speak Korean.
You sighed and could not deny the excitement of living another adventure, it was not like they were forcing you, you were now going to go to the legendary Met Gala after party.
You got into a dark van along with more of their staff and in the minutes of traffic you were finally there. You couldn't believe it, for a moment you stopped thinking that things made sense.
Luckily you were not alone, but accompanied by another girl in the staff, all looked great but it was evident that no one wanted to socialize with you and it was difficult for you to do so; so you felt uncomfortable and out of place, questioning if you should really be there.
After a few minutes you noticed that Felix stood up from his seat, taking the button of his suit and slyly approached you.
âCan you come with me?â he whispered in your ear with his deep voice.
You froze, and followed him without thinking too much, something wasn't right when it came to himâŠ. besides, you thought you had to follow his instructions.
Felix went to a private bathroom, you wanted to think that maybe he wanted you to take care of his coat⊠if not, why else would he ask you to accompany him; he entered quickly, in a suspicious way and then came out quickly looking around frantically, until he pulled you by the arm and took you with him to that small elegant bathroom, locking the door. You couldn't process the speed of the actions and suddenly, you saw his piercing gaze in front of yours.
What was going on?
Felix had enough, watching you flirtatiously talking to Chan, sweet talking all his friends, there was nothing else to explain but that he was horny and wanted to have you right now. You weren't stupid, you noticed his looks but wanted to ignore them, but it turns out that wasn't what he wanted.
So there you were, inwardly struggling whether to play along with whatever he intended to do or put your ethics above⊠you analyzed him, he looked so good with his long hair and white suit, you'd probably never see him again, you wanted to bite your lip just thinking about how dangerous and fast-paced some kind of sex like that would be, on the sly. But you couldn't make up your mind, this was about Conde Nast, your dream, not easy access to fuck.
Felix noticed too the early darkness in your gaze, reflecting lust, he was already hard from just thinking about your ass slapping his pelvis as he thrust his cock in and out your pussy mercilessly. You so wet, making a mess, the two of you indulging in passion while a bunch of people decide to party outside.
âI don't normally do this but⊠I may only see you once in my lifeâŠâ
Felix said in a voice thicker than what you had heard and came dangerously close to you, who were glued to the door, perplexed.
âFelixâŠâ you wanted to think clearly but his full lips in a perfect heart shape were distracting you.
âIf you want to fuck me⊠you have to promise me to never tell anyone.â
Felix whispered plaintiff in your left ear, losing himself in the scent of you hair. You couldn't take it anymore, if he kept talking, you might cum at any moment.
You understood the situation of things and the importance of his comment, after all he was still a global superstar. But not telling would not only be a beautiful secret to take to your grave and something fun to remember, but it would also be beneficial for you, because under no circumstances should a female employee have sex with her assigned celebrity. You would be banned from all of Manhattan or the city if possible, public enemy number one.
He moved closer to your ear, thinly brushing his lips on it and making you lose control little by little by his approach. You closed your eyes, completely lost, fuck it, you would fuck him and never see him again, at least not this intimacy.
âWhy would I fuck and tell...?â you whispered completely lost in desire.
He chuckled, and finally grabbed you by the waist. Felix sought your lips and you kissed slowly, deeply and passionately, the kiss was so strong that you felt the pressure of his upturned nose on your face. You knew it was so wrong at any angle analyzed⊠but it felt so right, his lips were soft and he moved them with agility, your hands were still glued to the wall in surprise, but gradually you relaxed and managed to hold on to the ends of his jacket.
Felix also relaxed and his right hand moved down to your naked back and slowly and nimbly he moved his hand in until he squeezed and caressed your ass, his actions surprised you that you almost moaned at the touch, separating you a little from the kiss.
He pulled a few inches away from your lips and, as he ran his hand all around your ass, he looked you over with a look of superiority.
âYou're such a slut, only wearing a fucking thong, almost like you were ready for meâ he said with a husky voice.
This time you felt his noticeable bulge brush against your belly and his soft touch made you wetter and wetter.
âGet on your knees, beautiful.â
He ordered and you obeyed. Felix was sick of feeling horny, he wanted a quick fix, to strip the tight garments off his cock and be attended to urgently, once he had enough of his own, he was going to take over pleasuring you fully.
Your breath was getting shorter and shorter and you felt his member on the fabric, you thought about how good he looked from below and in all possible angles, then you pulled down his pants, ready to give him the best blowjob ever âor at least you hoped soâ, you couldn't resist, you simply pulled down his underwear too, finding his throbbing and delicious cock so needy, its tip was bright pink and poor Felix was already showing signs of small droplets of pre-seminal fluid, and to think he had a fine and angelic faceâŠ. You had never felt so hungry and desirous, you were totally possessed; you wanted it in your hands, in your mouth, pounding your face, pounding your cervix⊠so you felt it, that firm hard manly hunk, at the mercy of your hands, feeling every texture of his skin.
Felix gasped, lifting his buttoned shirt a little, revealing a bit of his smooth but working abdomen. You took some of his fluid and spread it all over his length, lubricating it, it felt so good, but you were also so needy and desperate, and the thin fabric covering your intimate area didn't help at all, you felt the garment getting smaller and smaller, you felt your wet pussy growing and throbbing causing a delicious friction; but you thought you had to be more careful, your whole outfit was black, one stain of semen or fluids and you had to pay for the dress.
You moved a little away from him, hoping that no droplets of him fell on your attire, still you held his erection tightly with your left hand, making frantic movements, back and forth.
He was ecstatic, it was all he needed, to be sexually attended to; the New York air suited Felix Lee wonderfully, and the New York girl⊠he thought⊠she was out of this world, her hands felt fantastic on his hard manhood. He wanted to cum roughly, but he wanted to do it dirty in his employee's mouth and pretty face⊠he would never act like the beastly thing he was doing in Seoul, but new place, try new things.
So between sighs and gasps, he lowered his gaze and tried to communicate with her.
âUse your pretty mouth.â
You never thought he was going to ask, you didn't hesitate for a second, and the grotesque sound of your saliva dripping on his cock were heavenly; his sex was hot and smooth, the texture felt so good inside your cheeks but once again, you are desperate for him to take you and start moving your guts.
Within minutes, Felix cum in your mouth amid moans and groans, and the softest but most effective hair pulls, to make you go exquisitely deeper. You never thought he was so vocal, with a voice like that, you were in heaven; and it took you only a few seconds to drink his cum, as a reward.
âI think we need to get rid of that dressâ he said trying to catch his breath. âI'll buy you 3 more, no worries.â
He took you by the chin, inviting you to stand up and helped you take off the dress, you were so excited that your vision was blurred and you couldn't think clearly⊠what was his next moveâŠ.
You were amazed at how incredibly hard and standing still he was even after he had just cum, you thought, after all kpop idols did have it all, great stage presence, big penis, music talent, and for sex too.
He sat you on the small counter, him facing the mirror, the stone was cold and you were finally, almost, completely naked in front of him, wearing only your thin thong. Felix wasted no time and positioned himself between your legs, kissing you deeply and desperately as you carefully felt the tip of his penis brush your wet center each time they came closer, he moved his kisses down, to your neck, massaged your breasts and kissed and sucked them mercilessly, you wanted to scream with excitement but you were acutely aware that there were people outside, never mind the noise of the party. Once on your chest, he turned his angelic face up, with a dark mischievous look and that's when you felt his thumb caress your clit.
You moaned in relief, finally your exhausted pussy was going to be given attention. His movements were slow until each time he increased the acceleration, you couldn't help but writhe in pleasure and when your body contracted ready to climax, Felix introduced his fingers inside you, he felt the softness of your insides so lubricated and ready to feel his erection beating you frantically.
âLook at meâ he asked once he saw that your attention was focused for a few seconds on his right hand playing with your pussy.
âUh-mmâ you murmured, nodding softly, almost in moans.
You weren't thinking clearly but decided to hold back the urge to cum just to feel his fingers inside you for a few more moments. You looked into his big dark eyes; you felt that he looked more calm and serious with that gaze locked on you and his innocent freckled look, unlike you that your eyes was totally submissive and you were almost about to cry with pleasure, oh and Felix loved that, all that mess because of him.
âI'm going to cum, FeâŠâ you moaned.
But you couldn't even speak, he accelerated his movements and your belly contracted so pleasantly bringing you to your first orgasm.
âI'm not done yet; let me clean up that mess you made.â
And without warning, Felix leaned down, gripping your thighs tightly, two of his fingers still freshly wet from my fluids, marked on your thigh; Felix ran his hot tongue across your cunt, licking all your cum.
He began to eat your pussy carefully, almost accomplishing step by step and you loved the delicacy of what he was doing, you were seeing stars, you didn't want this to ever end, you wanted him on you all the time. You took advantage and also took hold of his tightly tied hair. He did it so well that you had to cum a second time.
And finally, the act you both had been waiting for since he locked the door; Felix had saved the urge and was once again swollen and throbbing, screaming for attention and action. He cleaned the edges of his mouth in a attractive manner.
âShit, I don't have a condomâ he said in annoyance.
âIt's okay, I'd never have your baby anyway.â
Felix smiled and you watched his erection in front of your pussy, until he gently pushed it in, until you closed your eyes once again in pleasure.
âI'm going to cum inside you and make sure your pussy misses every part of me.â
Felix whispered hotly in your right ear as you pressed your bodies closer and closer together, until you ended up with your legs wrapped around his waist, crushing bit of his outfit, and your hands on his shoulders. And then, he rammed you fast and as delicious as no one else had ever done, you moaned softly to avoid any strange noises from outside. It was incredible, you thought, his rhythm was strong and constant and when you began to lubricate his penis more indicating your soon orgasm, Felix separated from you and in quick movements he changed your position, lowered you from the counter, turned your body and introduced his penis making you stand still and making you both see yourselves in the mirror.
You couldn't be happier, you loved the fiction of his shirts stuck to your body of the clothes he still had on, and he began to pound more frantically and wildly, giving way to the sound of your skins colliding and your fluids combining. Felix held you tightly by the waist as he pulled your body away and closer, controlling it in his own way, you wanted to help him, moving your ass a little but his grip was too strong. You were with your back arched, holding tightly to the sink, giving choked moans as you felt his strong thrusts. Watching him fuck you in the mirror was fucking hot, he looked so attractive with his half-open mouth letting out soft moans and his concentrated countenance, frowning and his eyes locked on your ass, then on you.
Felix grabbed your hair in his fist and pulled it to pull you closer to him and glued you to his body, just when you thought it couldn't get any better, his thrusts were deeper that way and you were touching the edge.
âDo you like the way I fuck you, little slut, huh?â
You tried to nod between gripping your hair.
âSay it.â
âYes-yes, Felix, ahh it feels good.â
âYou feel good too, sweetheart, you're doing a great job.â
His dirty talk close to your ear were just more elements to make you cum faster and faster and each time you were more and more surprised, as his pace increased, finally making you climax, for the third time.
Felix smiled in victory as he felt your pussy muscles first tighten and then relax releasing more of your luscious fluids, wetting and hugging his hard cock, Felix continued another small moment, until he cum gloriously inside you and a little more above your ass.
You were perplexed. The sexual connection had been real. You both tried to catch your breath, he helped you put your dress back on and as you changed, Felix felt a little bad about just using you for his carnal desires, for you honestly it had been just a good fuck and you had your feet on the ground being aware that someone like him and you could never be together.
âSo⊠Are you officially working on something related for Vogue?â
You smiled, as you tried to touch up your makeup, it was a bit badly retouched.
âNo, it's my dream, they just hired me as a one-off for this year.â
âMaybe you should learn Korean and move there, Vogue Korea is still Vogue, isn't it?â he mentioned flirtatiously.
You chuckled again, that implied many things and at the same time none for you.
âGo out first, y/n, then I'll go out. I'll transfer you for the dresses outside, I don't even have my phone hereâ he said, finally in his deep voice calmer, almost looking tender, in his thick accent.
You smiled and looked at him one last time, before finally leaving for the party. Leaving you wanting more, but also with nothing more than just sex in the city.
#lee felix smut#skz smut#felix smut#stray kids smut#felix x reader#felix x you#lee felix x reader#kpop smut#skz imagines#stray kids imagines#stray kids scenarios#stray kids#skz#skz felix#felix hard thoughts#đwen writesâĄâËâč
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I read your love bites and apologies story and I was thinking something similar but opposite!! Reader loves the hickeys and can't get enough of them! Like reader is always covered in hickeys!!! Maybe there's a situation with reader's parents or something, and reader uses it as a way to rebel or something! Idk! Just do whatever you want!!!
If you don't want to write this, that's totally cool!
đđđ
a/n: Thank you so much for this request! It was so fun to write and I hope you like what I came up with lol. I also am really glad you enjoyed one of my other stories!
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marked up
gn!reader x jasper hale (smut)
words: 910
summary: you decide to rebel against your parents by letting Jasper mark you all over, but it quickly turns to even more than that.
âWoah darlinâ, calm down now,â Jasper tells you, keeping one hand in your hair. Your mouth is on his icy cold neck, leaving kisses everywhere. He doesnât have blood, so he canât get hickeys, but if he could then he wouldâve been covered by now. He tried again to tell you to calm down, but all he could focus on was your warm breathe on his neck.
âYou always cover me in hickeys, so maybe itâs my turn,â you tell him with a smirk. Youâre sitting in his lap, the two of you on his bed, and despite the fact youâre looking down at him, heâs in full control.
  âYou donât like when I leave marks on you?â he asks, already knowing the answer. He gives that perfect smile thatâs been burned into your memory.Â
âI love it,â you whisper sensually in his ear. You hear a low moan in the back of his throat as he grabs you by the waist. He lifts you up and roughly places you down on the mattress below him.Â
âSweetheart, Iâm gonna leave you covered by the time weâre done here. Everyone will know youâre mine,â he tells you.Â
âI was hoping youâd say that,â you respond.Â
âWhyâs that?â he asks with a grin. You think back to the fight with your parents youâd had before youâd left home. You fell asleep without a shirt on, your parents noticed one of the hickeys on your chest, and they were not pleased. You assured them that it was fine. You still had amazing grades, great relationships with your friends, and your own hobbies, but they hated the idea you were having sex, especially not with someone they didnât trust, like Jasper.
Jasper lifts up your chin, kissing you your jaw, bringing you back into reality.
âMy parents and I are fighting about you again,â you say between breathy moans, âthey think youâre a bad influence.â
âI am,â he said while slipping his hand under your shirt. You wanted to listen to his thick southern accent forever, hearing him call out your name in it. You tugged at his shirt, lifting it up. He quickly took it off, and you did the same with your own. Your chest was now exposed and he began kissing you all over. He left hickeys up and down your chest, your waist, your neck, everywhere. Anywhere he could reach your soft, warm skin he pressed his tongue to it. He knew neither of you would be satisfied until you were fully covered in hickeys.
He pulled away from you, slowly unbuckling his pants just to tease you. He unbottoned your pants next and pulled them off you, leaving kisses along your hips. He pulled down your undewear just enough to expose you and began to kiss you there. He licked your bare skin slowly, causing you to buck your hips with excitement.Â
He moved back up to your neck, kissing and leaving hickies there again, but he kept a firm grip on your hips. His mouth trailed down to your collarbones, and left more marks there. You knew he was trying to tease you. As he pulled away to let you gasp for air you looked noticed a tent in his boxers, and you knew you craved him. He began to slowly grind against you, his hard pressing up against you in the most satisfying way, causing you to beg for him.
âPlease Jasper, I need you,â you moaned out. He began to kiss and suck one of your nipples. You jumped in pleasure as he put one of his cold hands between your thighs, roughly spreading them open. He stopped kissing your chest, and began to kiss you. His tongue was in your mouth, his hard cock was rubbing against you, and you were in pure bliss. He pulled away from the kiss and pushed a few strands of hair out of your face.
âOh darlinâ, Iâm not even done with my tongue yet,â he told you before moving back down between your thighs. He grabbed you by the hips and began to tease you with his tongue. He traced it along your inner thighs, causing your hips to jump again.
âPlease, Jas,â you begged. You saw him smile up at you before begining to give you head. His tongue moved in the most perfect ways. He kissed and licked you everywhere, and you had never felt more pleasure. His hands were firmly gripped on your thighs, and his tongue moved swiftly. You let out shaky mones as your got closer to your climax, but his movements never faltered. Before you could even register the thought, you had already came. Your legs were shaking from the pleasure.
He sat up, brushing more hair out of your face. He wiped some sweat off of your face before gently kissing your forehead. It was hard to tell if you liked him more gentle and sweet or rough and dominating. You sat up, resting in his arms. The two of you peacfully laid there, skin to skin, for what couldâve been forever. He shifted and got out of bed, having to force himself to let go of your hand.Â
âItâs getting late,â he told you as he gathered both of your clothes. âYou should get home before itâs dark, or else I might have to punish you next time,â he whispered seductively as he left a final hickey on your neck.Â
#twilight#jasper hale#jasper hale x reader#jasper hale x you#jasper whitlock#jasper whitlock hale#jasper whitlock x reader#jasper x reader#jasper hale x y/n#jasper cullen#jasper hale oneshot#jasper hale imagine#twilight oneshot#twilight imagine#jasper hale fanfic#jasper hale smut#twilight smut#jasper hale x male reader#jasper hale x female reader
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on a night like tonight
wrote this for @thatdammchickennugget's hogmarch challenge using the dialogue prompt!! just a fluffy (debatable) one shot for my favourite slytherin boyđ« đ« đ«
prompt 2: "are you speaking parceltongue or am i really drunk?"
pairing: mattheo riddle x fem!slytherin reader (although its not that important to the one shot, honestly)
warning(s): slightly suggestive (towards the end), alcohol consumption
~â~ i love writing for mattheođ« idk how i feel about this one but i enjoyed writing either way lol. and yes i titled this after a niall song (im still not over the fact that i saw him in the flesh like a whole week ago!??!?!) also happy international women's day to all of you sexy, beautiful women xxxx
The Slytherin common room was ripe with activity. The Quidditch team had beaten Gryffindor by an utter landslide (250-110), so it was only appropriate for them to throw a huge party to celebrate. The team were in the middle of the room, surrounded by their most loyal band of lovestruck followers, as they drowned in all sorts of alcoholic beverages.
Spheres of magical light littered the high ceiling, glittering like stars and creating an eerily green glow as they reflected off of the murky waters of the Black Lake. The seating areas had been cleared, and in place was a makeshift dancefloor of sorts, filled to the brim with students dancing, singing and laughing to whatever music was playing on a stereo that Blaise had brought in from his Ravenclaw friends.
You were stood against a wall beside Pansy, who was busy glaring at the girl who had draped herself against Theo's arm as he laughed heartily at something Enzo had said. Your best friend was seething with jealousy, but she was far too stubborn to do anything about her feelings for your Italian friend.
The two of them had been dancing around their feelings for months; it was downright infuriating.
"I don't understand why you won't do something about it, Pans!" You say to her loudly, so that your voice could be heard over the earshattering bass music. "I'm getting sick of the back and forth between the two of you!"
Pansy finally takes her eyes off of the floppy haired brunette, who is now whispering in the ear of the girl, with a suggestive smirk on his face. "I'd say the same for you." She scoffs and you turn to her with furrowed brows.
"Oh don't act dumb." Pansy says with a laugh as she turns towards you fully, the drink in her hand sloshing over the rim of the cup as she does. "I see the way you look at Matt. You're very obvious. Both of you are."
"I don't know what you're talking about." You say reluctantly, taking a lengthy sip of your firewhiskey to avoid her knowing look.
Had your affections for your friend really been so blatant?
And did he really return them?
You turn towards the middle of the room and the liquid in your cup is suddenly drained to empty as you watch Mattheo dance closely behind a pretty Hufflepuff girl.
You and Pansy return to your mutual solitude, letting your friends revel in their win against their greatest rival, while simultaneously becoming more and more drunk, the more you watch as Theo and Mattheo obliviously break your hearts some more.
~â~
It's much later into the night, and the party has not died down. In fact, it only seems to have gotten busier as more and more people from the other houses joined in on the debauchery.
You are so drunk. Practically stumbling along behind Pansy as she drags you to and from the dance floor to get more drinks. The two of you are dancing on each other, her hips grinding against your's to the beat of the music as you both giggle tipsily. You're unaware of your surroundings and have surely pissed off many other partiers with your drunken moves. But it doesn't bother either of you, content to enjoy each other's company, until there is a presence behind you that has Pansy smirking cheekily at you.
You narrow your eyes at her, vision hazy as you feel hands cradle your waist, almost possessively. Looking up, you come face to face with the underside of Mattheo's sharp jaw as he says something to Pansy that you don't comprehend. Whatever he says has her disappearing into the crowd, leaving you to his mercy.
"Hello, Princess." He mumbles lowly, mouth brushing against the soft shell of your ear, causing a shiver to run down the length of your spine.
"Matty! Hi." You say, voice slightly slurred and you grimace at how drunk you sound. He only smirks before he's gently spinning you to face him.
"Haven't seen you since the start of the match. 'S been ages." He replies, voice raspy from how much he'd shouted and cheered during and after the match.
"It's not been that long." You say with a teasing smile as you take in his appearance. In place of the emerald quidditch robes he'd been sporting that afternoon, he's wearing a dark, black t-shirt which stretches tightly across his torso, emphasising his Beater physique and a pair of dark trousers drapes over strong legs. Your observation is slow and purposeful and the smirk on his face widens even further as you admire him more openly then you ever have before.
He's chuckling to himself and then says something that you can barely hear over the loud music that reverberates through the room. But the cadence of his voice and the way they almost seem to have been hissed out in a way you do not understand, makes you tilt your head to the side as he smiles.
"What did you just say?" You ask him, or rather shout so that he can hear you. He copies you with a tilt of his head as he looks down at you with his captivating onyx eyes.
He repeats it again, his hands tightening against your waist when you stumble slightly as someone jostles you in an attempt to get past, smirking when your face scrunches in confusion.
"Are you speaking parceltongue or am i really drunk?" You ask, your hands coming to rest against his firm chest when you were pushed into him.
"Gods, Princess. How much have you had to drink?" He asks with gleaming eyes. It's the mischief in them that has you opening your mouth in feined outrage.
"You were speaking parceltongue!" You accuse and he lets out a laugh as you lightly whack his chest. "What did you say!?"
"Now why would I tell you that?" He replies, his face leaning closer to your's. You can smell the alcohol on his hot breath, mingling with your own and you can feel every breath he takes as it fans across your face.
"Because I'm your best friend?" You say with a smirk as you unconsciously wrap your arms around his neck, leaning on your tip toes slightly so that you can be at eye level with him. The move has your hips brushing against his. You swear his eyes darken as you do.
"Theo's my best friend." He says in a tone of faux obviousness, mischief laced in his rough voice.
"But I'm your favourite, right? If you admit it, I promise that Teddy will never know. It can be our little secret, Matty." You tease and he's laughing again, before he says something else in that strange, reptilian voice, eyes flicking from you eyes to your lips.
You've always been my favourite, darling.
The ways his eyes sparkle, despite the harshness of the sounds against his tongue have you acting upon instinct as you surge forward and press your lips to his. It's as magical as you've always imagined, despite it being tainted by your twin inebriation. But you'll take what you can get.
Because Mattheo Riddle is finally kissing you and you reckon you could fall into a abyss of happiness as his pillowly lips caress your's with loving grace.
~â~
The next morning, you wake up in an unfamiliar, yet familiar dorm room and Enzo is smirking at you with glee. A tanned, muscular arm is draped across your middle and you're using the other as a makeshift pillow. Your face warms as you recognise the large, veiny hand that stretches across your stomach.
"Fun night?" Your friend asks with a snicker and you flip him off in response. He leaves the room after he's done teasing you, his loud laughter echoing in the corridor. You move to stand but an arm tightens around the skin of your waist.
"Where do you think you're going, Princess?" Mattheo mumbles, his voice low and raspy from sleep.
"Well good morning, sunshine." You reply, a smile spreading across your face as you turn to face him, to find that he is already staring at you, with adoration in his onyx eyes.
"Am I still dreaming, or are you really in my bed right now?" He asks as you trace a finger lightly over his naked chest.
"Oh it's very real. And I'm sure Enzo has already told the others what he just discovered." You reply with a giddy laugh.
"About bloody time, don't you think?" Mattheo's question is muffled against the skin of your neck as he nuzzles his face there. You smile in response, giggling as pieces of his curly hair brush against your soft skin.
"I'd still like to know what you said last night." You say but he doesn't give you the answer. Instead, he rolls the two of you so that you lie beneath his toned body, strong arms caging you in.
"That's my little secret, Princess." He mumbles as he presses languid kisses down your neck and chest, travelling lower until your rendered a moaning mess beneath him.
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Ah yes, the aforementioned comic I was scheming up that one summer I had theater camp and always arrived five hours before it started (due to my parent having a librarian job in the area lol). Hence why I even had the time to make this silly concept into comic form. However it was never finished or continued as youâve probably figured by now :P
Funny enough though I have leftover digital sketches for the initial conceptualization of these panels and the dialogue, which were never released once I finished the pages to be more refined. Think itâs neat to see the sketchy process tho. And since Iâm not continuing it, might as well dump unfinished work or else itâll just rot in my photos
These were part of the initial comic linked, before I redrew it and placed into comic boxes with background outlines
And this was part of the secondary comic prequel that I released. The dialogue got changed up and shortened quite a bit
And I think this was an alternative version to the second image in this sequence? Because it just kinda restates what was already said but different wording
Hereâs some doodles in reference to the comic I created lol
I didnât include The Badge Seller deal part in the comic, but itâs part of the overall story. Maybe Iâll make another comic explaining more about that
(Hereâs the comic link btw. Just so itâs all connected together:)
#also hereâs a fun fact: drew most of this while listening to the Lolbit Song & Babs Sneed remix#âŠ.yeah pretty much those two songs and sheer forceful snatcher brain rot#it was honestly a bit of a challenge to get the comics looking âgoodâ#usually I just doodle and move on with my life#Iâm not one to make backgrounds or format them into confined boxes :P#also I did have plans to continue it except uhâŠ#my routine of drawing these before camp started was inevitably ruined because the damn scedual shift#my parent stopped working early hours at the library so I couldnât sit in my drawing spot#weâd arrive on time to the camp and I wasnât motivated at home to draw#odd how one jumbled up routine works to kill productivity sometimes#plus the initial direction of it felt a bit too cruel for even Snatcher#he wouldâve inevitably realized manipulative scheming wasnât the right way to go and all but#wouldâve taken a while before he reciprocated feelings instead of pushing them away and suppressing#idk I prefer how I interpret and write his character in my head more then when I try to execute it#and even then this storyline wouldâve been a different variation to snatcherâs personality then Iâm fully used toâŠ?#idk difficult to explain#also also actual reason behind this isnât because Iâm a Snatcher crusher. itâs because I like envisioning banter with his character#the idea of giving him another romantic interest is appealing to me because thereâs many layers to his former failed love life and whatnot#so I enjoy the thought of him being reintroduced to love. however I myself donât really do y/n stuff naturally lol#no I was simply influenced by the Sun & Moon x y/n craze at the time#plus I hated being on the sidelines of the snatcher x selfship community and desperately wanted to feel like a contributor#my limitation being that Iâm aroace and unable to join in the same way others are able to <<#so yeah either way this wouldnât have lasted I suppose#old art#old comic
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episode one: the hellfire club
Robin waves her hands in the air as if to get Steveâs voice away from her. âEw! Gross, donât say boobiesââ âBoobies! Itâs not a big dealââ You make a face. âIt isnât the most pleasant word.â âOh, câmon. You like boobies, Robin likes boobies, and we all know I love your boobies specificallyâow!â You hit the back of Steveâs head with annoyance to get him to stop talking about your boobs. While he winces in pain and rubs his tender head, you turn towards Robin. âWhat my darling boyfriend is trying to say is that everyone likes boobs, and Vickie definitely likes them too.âÂ
Summary: el writes to you as if youre her husband away at war, you debate the intricate nature of liking boobies with robin and steve, lucas is your beloved while eddie munson is your sworn enemy, steve accidentally exposes your (horribly hidden) daddy issues, dustin is an angsty teen, and jonathan really loves to drop emotional bombshells on you. can you believe this all happens in one day ? lol cheers to senior year !
Rating: general, some swearing
Warnings: swearing, fem!reader, use of y/n, mentions of abuse, allusions to bullying, trauma lol
Words: 13.5k (wrote half of this in one day)
Before you swing in: SHES HERE !!!! SEASON 4 !!! this season terrifies me. i spent so much time outlining and making sure it was perfect. i have some changes i want to do, some ideas, and its scary because we dont have season 5 yet and i hate messing with canon ,,, alas: here she is. my baby. my beloved. quick fun fact: theres a scene in here ive had planned since season 1 so .... enjoy !
â
March 21st, 1986.
Dear Y/N,
Congratulations on New York University! Joyce tells me that it is a very good college, and everyone was extremely happy when Jonathan told us the news. He even had a smile on his face! It has been a very long time since I have seen him smile, especially without that weird smell on him (am I allowed to tell you about the strange plants that Jonathan seems to like now? He says that you cannot find out about it, but friends donât lie and he is your bestest friend).Â
I asked Will about it, and he says that Jonathan now smells because he misses you. If you ask me, I think that Jonathan smells because he is scared. We are still waiting for his college letter, afterall. I know you want to go to school with him, but so does Nancy. Is it possible to go to two colleges? Anyways, it must be a lot of pressure, even more with all the waiting we have to do, but Joyce told us that sometimes colleges take a long time to respond.Â
While I am positive that Jonathan will figure it all out soon, he pretends he does not care. But he is a very bad liar. He was very upset that Nancy could no longer visit us in California. Will was bummed too, but he was more sad that it was not you who was visiting. Joyce says that the Byers boys were born to miss you, and I think she is right.Â
I also miss you. I am still bummed I never went to school with you. I bet Mike is over the moon to have you with him for high school, Dustin and Lucas also. How is Max? Is she still sad? I know school has been hard for her. I will admit that it is hard for me, too. While I am good at maths, and my grammar is getting better, I am still unsure when to use conjunctions or why Angela does not like me. Will tells me to ignore her, but I want to be her friend. She is nice to everyone else. It confuses me that she is not nice to me.
A lot about California confuses me. The flowers here are different, and sometimes I forget that I cannot go and visit you. I miss the smell of Bookstrordinary (did I spell it right?) and your cookies. Please send more as soon as you can. Will and I are almost dying to taste them again! Mike says he will try to bring some on the plane, but I am scared he will be told no by those scary airplane people.
Speaking of Mike, he is coming to California this week! I am very excited to see him. It has felt like years, I think I am even going crazy. I have planned everything for his week here. Spring break will be extra special! It will be a fun distraction from Angela and school. This week I can pretend to be someone else, someone cool, and Mike will be very impressed. I know you tell me to always be myself, so I hope that I can make you happy by taking your advice on focusing only on the good.Â
To prove I will focus on the good from here on out, here is a good things list:Â
Mike is visiting!
Will has almost finished his painting. I am very curious to see what he has made. He is really talented, he shows me the drawings he sends you sometimes.Â
You got into NYU! Is this the correct way to abbreviate? I am still working on conjunctions, but I think I am supposed to use the first letter of every word in the schoolâs name to shorten it. At least, that is what Joyce says.Â
Jonathanâs new best friend, Argyle, will give us free pizza to celebrate Mikeâs arrival. It is really good pizza.Â
Tasting your cookies again. Fingers crossed Mikeâs plan succeeds!
I am sure there is more, but I am too excited about this week and my mind is going very fast. I miss you tons, maybe even more than Will and Jonathan do. Please come visit us soon. Like Joyce says, the Byers boys were born to miss you. Although I am not a Byers boy, I am still a part of the Byers family, and I miss you.Â
Love, El.
P.S., thank you for the grammar books. I will be sure to become the best writer ever in California.Â
â
Sweet, gentle, El. You can almost hear her voice, reading aloud to you as you used to do when she lived in Hopperâs cabin. She would stumble over the letters, ask you how to sound out particularly difficult words in Spider-Man comics; they helped her learn how to read. Now, almost a year later, sheâs writing you letters.Â
El has grown up so much within such a short few months, although it doesnât surprise you.
Laughing softly as you reread the final line sheâs written, you wipe your eyes and place Elâs letter onto your desk. The piece of paper joins the others, nestled gently with a pile of her other letters that are housed on your desk. El sends you a new letter every week, detailing silly stories about Jonathan and Will or concerned ramblings about Angela.
The letters make you miss El terribly. They make you miss everyone terribly.Â
Next to the letters are drawings from Will. Heâs become such an artist during his time in California. He sends you beautiful sketches of landscapes in their neighborhood, doodles from class, and incredibly detailed drawings of you and the party. The drawings are Willâs special way to keep in contact with you, and itâs something you cherish so deeply. However, you didnât know that he was working on a painting, and youâre curious to see what El is talking about. Eventually heâll reveal his art to you, he always does. Â
Skimming a finger over one of the more recent drawings from Will, your hand catches on the walkman that lays next to it. Jonathanâs messy handwriting is scrawled on the mixtape that sits within it.
For bug.
The words, familiar and loved, stare back at you. The mixtape contains songs that Jonathan so carefully chose for you. He spent countless hours selecting songs that he knew youâd love, songs that reminded him of you. It had been his gift for you before he moved away. And now heâs gone, and you miss him so much more than you ever thought you would. More than you ever thought you could miss anyone. Â
Jonathan never did end up coming to Hawkins for spring break.Â
âDusty, whatâs going on in there?â The sound of your mother pounding on Dustinâs door breaks you from your thoughts. âYouâre gonna be late.â
âDonât come in, Iâm naked!â You hear the boy screech back at her, which you roll your eyes at. Steve will be here to pick you guys up any minute. Dustin knows he should be ready by now, the schedule has never changed.Â
Throwing on the cardigan Steve got you for Christmas last year, you grab your walkman and storm over to Dustinâs room. At the same time, your mother nearly crashes into you in the hall. Her face is pale, horrified of the idea that she almost saw her son naked, and you pity the woman. Dustin has become relentless lately, even more difficult to deal with.Â
âY/N, my dear,â your mother clutches at her chest and fans her face. âCan you please make sure your brother is ready? I think that boy is trying to give me a heart attack.â
You sigh, figuring you would have to do so anyways. âYeah, sure. Go finish getting ready, Iâll handle him.â
âThis is why youâre my favorite daughter!â Your mother kisses your cheek before running off towards the kitchen to make her morning coffee.Â
Once sheâs gone, you immediately start banging on Dustinâs door. He knows you hate being late. Plus, itâs the Friday before spring break. Youâre getting antsy waiting for this week to end. âDustin Henderson, you have three seconds before I kick this door down.â
âNot now, Y/N!â Dustin shouts back, frantic and desperate.Â
You narrow your eyes. Heâs using his suspicious voice, the one he only uses when heâs doing something he absolutely shouldnât be doing. Glancing down at your watch and noting the early hour, you curse in disbelief. âItâs not even seven yet, what the hell are you up to so early in the morning?â
âNothing! Just go away, Iâll be out soonââ
âI swear, if youâre trying to sell my limited edition comics again I will hurt you.â You throw your body against the door, causing it to fly open as you stumble inside. Dustin is at his computer and he nearly falls off his chair in his haste to cover the screen from you. Heâs remarkably horrible at playing cool. Youâre about to tell him this when Suzieâs voice crackles through his radioâs speakers.Â
âYikes, Dusty.â
âSuzie?â You walk over to your brother and shove his hands off the computer screen. He falls to the ground with a loud thud, which pleases you. He may be a teenager now, but youâre still stronger than him. At least for now. âWhy are you calling her right nowââ Your eyes land on the screen and you recognize Hawkins Highâs familiar orange and green school colors. âIs this the student gradebook?â
âNo!â Dustin exclaims, but Suzieâs small and soft voice responds, âYes.â
âOh my God,â you cannot believe heâs making his girlfriend hack into your schoolâs database. Sure, sheâs a genius, but you also know sheâs incredibly religious. âDustin, this is so illegal and goes against, like, all of Suzieâs religious moralsââ
âI will repent later.â Suzie interrupts you, and you raise your eyebrows at what sheâs just said. Before you can question her, Dustinâs computer refreshes.Â
He leans forward, eyes scanning to see if theyâve succeeded, and he seems to like what he sees. Suddenly Dustin lets out a sudden whoop and fist bumps the air. âGod, I love you Suzie.â
Curious, you lean over and read the screen as well. There, where you know Dustin had a D- in Latin not even a day ago, is now an A. Thereâs no possible way he was able to raise his grade in under twenty-four hours. He sucks at Latin, he hates it, which means⊠She did it. Suzie changed his grade. All she had to do was press one single button to save Dustinâs GPA.Â
You have to admit, itâs impressive. And shamefully genius.Â
âHey, Suzie.â You bring the radio to your lips, shoving Dustin away when he tries to take it from you. âDo you think you could change my grade in calculus? Jonathan was the only reason I passed any of my other math classes.â
âOh, I donât knowâŠâ Suzieâs voice raises a pitch, she doesnât want to tell you no. She likes you, she really does, but her God figurine stares down at her with a disappointed look in his eyes. Sheâs sinned for love, but she doesnât think she could ever do it again.Â
Youâre about to plead with Suzie, tell her NYU really prioritizes their studentâs grades, but the sound of a car honking outside catches your attention; itâs Steve. Dustin yanks the radio from your hand and shoos you away. âGo, leave without me.â
âWhat, why? We always drive together.â You frown, feeling like a little kid when you cross your arms. Dustin smiles apologetically, a smile youâve become familiar with. Your mood darkens, anger rises to your cheeks. You know exactly why Dustin is now skipping out on you. âDonât tell me itâs that stupid Eddie Munsonââ
âHe wants me and Mike to work out some campaign details before lunch today!â Dustin scrambles to mediate. He hates that you donât like Eddie, and you like everyone. Itâs unnerving how much disdain you seem to carry for his friend. âNance is driving us, but I swear Iâll ride with you and Steve after break!â
You scoff at Dustin, not at all believing his promise to you. Ever since September your brother has been at Eddie Musonâs beck-and-call, who dictates everything Dustin says or does. At first it was innocent enough, choosing to sit with the guy instead of you at lunch. Skipping out on a few weekend plans with you and Steve to campaign with Eddie. Youâd been happy for Dustin. He was making new friends, no longer your little shadow; he was his own person with his own priorities and interests now.
But ever since getting into NYU last week, Dustin has been pulling away even more from you. You donât know why, but heâs become even more obsessed with Eddie and his stupid Hellfire club.Â
Eddie Munson is the air your brother now breathes, stifling the air Dustin once breathed for you.
And it seems to only be suffocating you, not him.
âYeah, whatever.â Halfheartedly you ruffle Dustinâs hair, and he leans into the touch. You donât want him to know his repeated absences are upsetting you. Deep down, you know youâre being irrational. Youâre almost eighteen, soon you wonât even be living under the same roof as Dustin. Heâs allowed to live his own life. âI guess Iâll see you at the pep rally. Tell Suzie I said bye, please?â
Dustin nods, though you donât linger in the doorway like you desperately want to. Instead, you shut the door behind you and place a swift kiss to your motherâs cheek as you leave.Â
Steveâs car is parked in its usual spot at the end of the driveway. The teenâs arm hangs out the window and his face breaks into a smile when he sees you approaching. Steveâs smile is infectious, itâs always charmed you, and it settles the ache in your chest from your brotherâs earlier dismissal. Feeling a smile spread across your own face, you run towards Steve and poke your head through the open window.
âHi,â you breathe out, nose almost bumping against his cheek.
âHi, angel.â Steve kisses you, solidifying your morning tradition. Neither one of you really remembers who started it, but sometime during the school year you began to slip your head through Steveâs car window so that he could kiss you slow and sweet.Â
And, as tradition follows, Robin starts boos. âDo you have to do that every morning?â
Steve makes a face at her and she punches his arm. He yelps in pain and you roll your eyes at the two of them before running over to the passengerâs side where Robin sits. Her window is rolled down as well and you duck your head inside. âAw, Robin. If you wanted a kiss, you couldâve just said so!âÂ
âA kissâ?â Your lips press against Robinâs cheek, smushing against her face while making a dramatic sound. She squeals and pushes you away, wiping her now wet cheek in disgust. âThat is not what I wanted.â
You giggle at her and finally get into the car. Itâs getting late, you see the assortment of Robinâs limited makeup dumped into her lap haphazardly. Sheâs been stressing about this morningâs pep rally all week, and clearly she isnât coping very well. Trying to cheer her up, you flick her shoulder. âIâll have you know that my cheek kisses are cherished in Hawkins.â
âHow many peopleâs cheeks are you kissing?â Steve turns in his seat to face you, slightly alarmed. Then, noticing that thereâs only one Henderson in his car, he frowns. âAnd whereâs little Henderson?â
âEddie Munson.â
âWoah, wait, you mean Eddie as in where Dustin is, right? Not, like, youâve been kissing his cheek? Iâm right, right? Please tell me Iâm right.â
You roll your eyes fondly at Steve while Robin rolls hers in displeasure. âJust drive, Steve.â
â
It becomes pretty apparent five minutes into the car ride that no one seems to be having a good morning. Robin has spent the majority of the drive applying and reapplying her mascara while messing with her hair. She groans every time she looks in the mirror and her eyes lack their usual brilliance.Â
Meanwhile, Steve has been complaining about yet another fight with his dad. Apparently they argued during breakfast, something that has become a common occurrence in the Harrington household.Â
âThe asshole again reminded me that Iâm turning twenty soon. As if I donât already know that! I mean,â Steve laughs in exasperation. âFor weeks now heâs been asking me what my plans are, as if working at Family Video just isnât good enough for him. As if my dad isnât the sole reason I had to get a lousy minimum wage job in the first place!âÂ
âFamily Video isnât a lousy jobââ
âYes it is.â Both Steve and Robin say at the same time, which you sigh at. Canât really argue with that.Â
âOkay, yeah. Itâs pretty lousy.â
Steve rubs his eyes tiredly. âAnd that isnât even the worst part. There I was, pouring syrup over my pancakes, trying to enjoy the fact that my parents are actually home for once, when my asshole of a father tells me that if I donât have a respectable job by the time Iâm twenty, heâll kick me out. I mean, can you believe that?âÂ
You suck in a breath. âSteveâŠâ
Richard Harrington is a cruel, awful man.Â
While you understand his frustrations towards Steve, itâs completely unreasonable to expect him to get a reputable job in a few short months without any college education. Steveâs right, it had been Richardâs idea to make him work at Scoops Ahoy in the first place. When the mall burned down, he had no other option but to work at Family Video soon after.Â
âIâm sorry, honey.â You intertwine your fingers through Steveâs hair and rub your thumb up and down the nape of his neck in a soothing manner. Steve allows the touch, but heâs still tense. Guessing that heâs uncomfortable feeling so pitied, you try to make light of the situation with humor. âBut hey, who knows? Maybe you can come live with me in New York if he ends up kicking you out.â
Steve risks a look at you, taking his eyes off the road for a few moments, and his eyes shine. Heâs ecstatic over what youâve just said. He looks like a little kid on Christmas Eve. âYou really mean that?â
âWell, I meanâŠâ It had mostly been a joke, a throwaway comment to try and get him to smile. But Steveâs body finally relaxes under your touch and you canât tell him no. âYeah, I guess I did.â
âYou hear that, Robin?â Steve preens, wanting to get her attention. However, when he realizes that she hasnât been listening to the entire conversation, he makes an offended sound. âRobin, are you listening to me?â
âUh, yes?â Her eyes meet yours in the mirror, startled that sheâs been caught. âYou were-uh. Talking to Y/N about your dad. We-we hate him! Yeah, we hate the guy. He really⊠grinds my gears?â
Steve groans. âWe all hate my dad, but that wasnât what I was talking to you about!â
âCut me some slack, please. Your relationship with your father is one of labyrinthine complexityââ
You poke your head between the two teens. âActually, itâs not that complicated.â
Robin covers your mouth with her hand and continues with her rant. âItâs seven in the morning, we have the stupid pep rally, and I woke up looking like a total corpse!âÂ
âI think you look lovely as always, Robin.â You mumble through the girlâs hand, barely coherent.
Steve, however, isnât as supportive. âYouâre worried about a pep rally? You really expect me to believe that?â
âYeah, so?â Robin removes her hand from your mouth and goes back to doing her makeup. Sheâs avoiding the conversation now, which only means that Steve is onto something. Why has she been so obsessed about this weekâs pep rally? Robin has been in band for years now, sheâs done a million pep rallies during her high school career. It canât be performing that makes her nervous.Â
Which means it has to be about someone.Â
Locking eyes with Steve, he seems to be thinking what you are. âI think we all know what this is about, okay? Y/N and I arenât buying that bullshit.â
âThis is about Vickie.â You finish for him, a smirk on your face. For weeks now Vickie has been all Robin has talked about. Her hair, how pretty her smile is, how cute her freckles are. Vickie also happens to be in band with Robin. âCâmon, you canât tell us weâre wrong.â
âI absolutely can tell you youâre wrong.â Robin denies what you and Steve are implying.
Steve shakes his head. âYou know weâre right! And you know what else we think?â
âI really donât careââ
âY/N and I think that you gotta stop pretending to be someone else when youâre around her, okay? You just gotta be yourself.â
Robin doesnât want to hear any of this. At least not from you and Steve. âYou guys are biased, you do realize that?â
âWhat do you mean?â Youâre practically laying across Steveâs car console in order to be a part of the conversation. âI think weâre objective people.â
âYouâre telling me that all I have to do is be myself and Vickie will want to date me?â
You frown. âYeah? Whatâs wrong with that?â
Robin throws her head back. âBecause it took Steve months to ask you out. Mind you, this was when you were already in love with the guy! And he knew you were in love with him!â
âOkay, heyââ Steve doesnât at all like what sheâs insinuating. He didnât necessarily know you were already in love with him, he just⊠had a small hunch.Â
âIâm not done,â Robin holds her hand up. âAll Steve had to do was man up and admit his feelings for you. He didnât have to agonize over whether or not itâd blow up in his face. There was no risk, no danger, no world ending consequences. I mean, if you had rejected him then maybe Steveâs ego wouldâve been bruised. But if I ask out the wrong girl? Bam! Iâm a town pariah.â
âThis is true,â you reluctantly agree. While you could never envision a world where youâd ever say no to Steve, you also recognize that the world where you somehow do wouldnât be the same world as Robinâs. Things are different for her, whether you like it or not. Robin has to live with this knowledge, and her conversation with you about luck and love from last summer echoes in your mind.Â
Steve places a hand on his chest, betrayed. âWhose side are you on, Y/N?â
âTrue loveâs side.â
Robin snorts and Steve doesnât bother to hide his smile. He wants to tease you for being a hopeless romantic, but now isnât the time. Instead, he continues the previous conversation. âTrue love aside, we canât ignore that Vickie is definitely not the wrong girl.â
âOh, she definitely isnât straight.â You agree.
âWe donât know that!â Robin quickly sprays some breath freshener in her mouth and gags, which you cringe at. Vickie is one lucky girl if Robin ever manages to become her girlfriend.Â
Steve doesnât let up, heâs convinced he has it all figured out. âShe returned Fast Times paused at fifty-three minutes, five seconds.â
âThe bikini scene, mind you.â You butt in, and Steve nods eagerly.
âAnd you know who pauses Fast Times at fifty-three minutes, five seconds? People who like boobies, Robin!âÂ
Robin waves her hands in the air as if to get Steveâs voice away from her. âEw! Gross, donât say boobiesââ
âBoobies! Itâs not a big dealââ
You make a face. âIt isnât the most pleasant word.â
âOh, câmon. You like boobies, Robin likes boobies, and we all know I love your boobies specificallyâow!âÂ
You hit the back of Steveâs head with annoyance to get him to stop talking about your boobs. While he winces in pain and rubs his tender head, you turn towards Robin. âWhat my darling boyfriend is trying to say is that everyone likes boobs, and Vickie definitely likes them too.âÂ
Robin canât even look at the two of you, appalled by how many times the word âboobiesâ has been uttered during the duration of the conversation. You canât blame her, the word has practically lost all meaning for you as well.
Steve, however, canât seem to get enough of it. âItâs boobies!â He exclaims again to no one in particular.
You and Robin lock eyes, and then, without saying anything, your hand covers Steveâs mouth while Robin flicks his forehead, effectively putting the boob conversation to an end.Â
âÂ
The moment Steveâs BMW slows in front of the school, Robin throws the door open and rushes out with a quick âsee you later!â to you as she runs to follow after her bandmates. Steve waves weakly as she goes and sighs in disappointment.
âSheâs never talking to Vickie, is she?â
âNot a chance,â you sigh as well, watching as Robinâs figure disappears in the crowd of students. Spring break looms over the student body, everyone buzzes with excitement over their week of freedom and tonightâs basketball game. The pep rally in just a few short minutes only adds to the exhilaration. Leaning forward, your lips graze against Steveâs. âAnyways, see you tonight?â
He bridges the gap between your lips, skin meets skin and warmth floods your stomach. âOf course, angel. I love you.â
âI love you, too, honey.â And with one last kiss, you exit Steveâs car and make your way towards the school. As always, Steve waits until youâre safely on the sidewalk before he pulls away and heads towards Family Video. Heâs started picking up morning shifts to fill the time he isnât with you.
On your way inside, you see Ms. Kelly talking to Max near the buses. The conversation is short, doesnât last much longer than a few seconds, and when Max turns away you notice Ms. Kellyâs patient smile drop. Clearly Max still isnât being cooperative when it comes to their sessions. She promised you she would start trying, but Max Mayfield has always been stubborn and youâve always been slightly overbearing.
Not the best combination, honestly.
With a sigh, you make a mental note to ask Max about what the counselor talked to her about later. Thereâs too much going on this morning to focus on it, and youâre already pushing Max by having her attend the pep rally anyways. Originally she had wanted to skip it and hide in the stairwell, but after begging her about it, Max finally agreed.
The conversation can wait. For now, at least sheâll be next to you in the bleachers alongside the boys to cheer on Lucas.
The thought was enough to brighten your mood a little, but it quickly became a pain in the ass to corral the party into sitting together. It took you almost fifteen minutes to find Mike and Dustin in the mass of students heading into the gym. Youâre not necessarily sure how it took so goddamn long given the fact that Mike towers over half of the students anyways. Heâs grown freakishly tall since starting freshman year. It unnerves you.Â
While his towering height annoys you, Mike likes that he can finally, literally, look down on you.Â
âThere you guys are!â You grab the back of Mikeâs shirt and he lets out a startled yelp. Dustin stumbles back as well, and an annoyed sophomore glares at the three of you. Ignoring her, you grab your brotherâs shirt and start dragging the two boys towards the bleachers. âThought we agreed on meeting at the water fountain that squirts water in your face?â
âI thought it was the library?â Dustin gives you an odd look. âWait, is there even a water fountain in the library?â
âYou amaze me.â You remark, not even bothering to answer his question. He listens like a bag of rocks. Mike just allows you to pull him, not at all contributing to the conversation.
Max waits for you in the bleachers. Sheâs saved you seats, something that you feel slight relief over. The simple gesture is small, but it sparks just enough hope within your chest to make you exhale softly. Hope that sheâs getting better. Hope that sheâs finally trying again.
Thanking Max, you and the others fill the seats as the gym quickly fills with more and more students until it threatens to overflow. The roar of the crowd is nearly deafening. Across from the bleachers resides the marching band. Theyâre playing the schoolâs anthem as the cheerleaders start their routine. Chrissy Cunningham leads them, her smile lovely and beautiful, she shines so brightly upon the crowd that you canât help but fall in love with her.
In the midst of the cheerleadersâ twists and flips, Robin manages to catch your eye from across the room.
You eagerly wave at her and mime playing the trumpet, copying her movements as she actually plays one. Robin laughs, and next to her is a girl with fiery red hair who laughs as well. Sheâs pretty, youâve heard countless sonnets about her red hair and dotted freckles. Knowing the girl is Vickie, you point at her as you wink at Robin, who scoffs and goes back to playing the trumpet.Â
Next to you, you catch the tail end of some bizarre conversation between Mike and Dustin.
âLook, Iâm not saying that my girlfriend is better than yours.â Dustin is clarifying, glaring at you when he hears your sarcastic snort. âItâs just that Suzieâs, like, a certified genius.â
Mike crosses his arms, looking towards you as if somehow this is all your fault. âYour brother realizes that El saved the world twice, right?â
âAdmittedly that is hard to beat,â you shrug. âThat, and she has cool powers.â
Dustin points a finger at the two of you. âAnd yet Mike still has a C in Spanish while youâre barely passing calculus.â
Mike rolls his eyes and you shrug again. Your brother isnât necessarily wrong either. Elâs saved the world, Suzie has saved his GPA. Both are nearly impossible feats. âTouchy subject, but touchĂ©.â
âAnd what can your boyfriend do, Y/N?â Mike asks, now bringing the attention to your love life.
âHeâs good with a bat.â
Both Dustin and Mike groan, but you shush them when the schoolâs broadcaster announces the Tigers basketball team. Applause breaks out across the bleachers and you notice Max looking around for Lucas. Though she tries to hide it, you can see the interest and excitement in her eyes. Sheâs happy for him, but it breaks your heart that she feels that she canât show it.
Jason Carver, captain of the basketball team and former Scoops Ahoy patron before Steve spilled ice cream all over his pants, runs out first. The crowd goes wild, but you donât start cheering until you see Lucas. Heâs smiling wide, proud to be a part of the team. You scream as loud as you can for him, heâs come so far since confessing to you about wanting to join the team earlier this year. As Jason starts his speech, dramatic as he always is, Lucas sees you in the bleachers and waves shyly, a blush creeping across his face. Then, seeing Max next to you, his confidence seems to grow as he waves more enthusiastically at her.Â
The moment is sweet, it makes you smile.Â
Except Max doesnât wave back. She crosses her arms, pretends she hasnât seen him, and your smile drops alongside Lucasâ.Â
You know theyâve been having some trouble recently. With Max pulling away more and more each day, Lucas struggled to hold onto the fading girl. Despite his pleas and reassurances, Max still seems to be icing him out. According to Dustin, they broke up almost a month ago now.Â
But theyâve always had a tumultuous relationship, long before nightmares and monsters darkened everything. The news hadnât worried you at first, you thought it was simply another one of their weekly breakups over something small, innocent. Afterall, they were just kids when they first started dating. Their breakups were always childish, though endearing, and always temporary.Â
Now, youâre scared that this time itâs permanent.Â
Youâre not sure what that means for Max. She already has so few people left in her life to tether her. Billy died, her mother works two jobs and is never home anymore, El is in California, and you and Lucas are breaking skin trying to claw onto whatever small hold you have left of the girl.
Another loud cheer from the crowd breaks you from your thoughts. Jason mustâve just said something important, something worthy enough of a roaring reaction. Heâs always been popular in Hawkins, Steve used to complain about him to you back when he was still on the team. But when Steve graduated and Billy died, Hawkins High had needed a new King to crown.
Jason Carver was more than happy to ascend the throne.Â
âChrissy, I love you, babe.â Everyone awes and you see Chrissy blow Jason a kiss. Itâs sweet, you suppose. They fit together nicely, head cheerleader with the star of the basketball team, and they seem genuinely happy. Chrissyâs shy and kind demeanor balances Jasonâs loud and charismatic boldness. They truly are a good match.Â
âI think I can speak for all of us when I say itâs been a tough year for Hawkins.â Jason continues his speech, the room is eerily silent as everyone listens with baited breath. âSo much lossâŠâ The gym almost exhales simultaneously, remembering all the people who died last summer.
Your own breath exhales, and beside you Max tenses. Billyâs ghost floats through your minds, in through hers and out through yours. Hopperâs own ghost follows after him, only he doesnât haunt Max the way he haunts you. He lingers over you, his final words to you engraved into your skin.Â
Youâre the best of them.
âAnd sometimes I wonder, how much loss can one community take?â
Enough to fill a mall of burning bodies, you think bitterly.Â
Jason paces the gymâs floor now, he almost seems to glow before the crowd. He rambles on about needing something to believe in. That everyone should be doing something to honor all the lives lost in July, that playing basketball can absolve all the despair. As if it can bring them back.
Deep below your ribcage, nestled right underneath your scar and just in front of your stomach, rests a pit of anger that always simmers. You were born with it, it has always followed you. It has grown with you, the anger almost possessed your body when your dad left. Now, hearing Jason recite all the names of the ones who died that Fourth of July, the angerâs low simmer heats into a soft boil.Â
You try to quell it. Jason means well, heâs only trying to uplift the community in a passionate, albeit uncomfortably pastor-y way. Heâs only doing what he knows best; heâs being a leader. In another life, one where Demogorgons never harmed you, you think you wouldâve really admired Jason and his resilience.Â
âThink of Billy,â Your breath stills, yet your hand instinctively finds Maxâs. She turns away from you, but the room is spinning and you canât remember how to inhale. But Jason keeps going. âThink about our heroic police chief, Jim Hopper.â
Next to you, in your haze of grief and panic, you think you can feel Mike and Dustin shift uncomfortably. Grief sinks her claws into the kids, and you want nothing more than to puncture Jasonâs lungs with them.Â
This was supposed to be a pep rally for the Tigers, it was supposed to be joyous, an opportunity to bring Max out of her shell. To distract her from the hell that she calls her life. The entire school knows what happened to Billy, they know that he had a little sister named Max Mayfield.
You hate Jason Carver.
But youâre here for Lucas. Today is about him. Heâs finally happy, heâs smiling again. The least you can do is swallow down the anger and grief and hope that you donât end up choking on them later. That they donât strangle you in your dreams.
âAnd now tonight, weâre gonna bring home the championship trophy!â Jason screams into the mic, erupting a volcanic roar from the stadium. People throw paper into the air, whistling and jumping up and down at the prospect of Hawkins High finally winning a championship.
âTonight?â Dustinâs agonized exclamation causes you to jump. He looks at you, bewildered and panicked. âHow is that possible?â
Your heart still hasnât steadied from the surge of fury Jason evoked. Swallowing once again, you clear your throat and shake your head at your brother. âWhat, you guys didnât know about the game tonight?â
âThey call it a tournament,â Max explains for you, figuring you need some time to clear your head. You squeeze her hand appreciatively. âYou win one game, you go on until thereâs only one team left.â
Mike and Dustin exchange frightened looks, and you eye them suspiciously. âDid you guys really not know? I thought Steve explained all of this to you already. Why is it such a big deal, anyways? I meanâwait,â the boys wonât meet your gaze. They avoid facing you, Mike stuffs his hands into his pockets and Dustin pretends to read someoneâs poster.Â
You know the fearful look on their faces. Itâs the same look Dustin gave you this morning when he ditched you to ride with Nancy and Mike.Â
Goddamn Eddie Munson.Â
âOh, donât you guys dare.â They wouldnât. They wouldnât fucking dream of missing one of Lucasâ games for a stupid club centered around some guy with enormous ego problems. âI swear to God, if you two skip the game tonightââ
âWe wonât! I-I mean⊠Well. Itâs, uh. Itâs complicatedâ Dustin gulps, elbowing his way through the crowd of departing students as the pep rally ends. Mike follows, ready to step in at any moment, while Max slips away before you can stop her. Seeing how contorted your body is from anger, Dustin tries to appease you. âLook, I canât promise anything, alright? Eddie is⊠Eddie.â
Youâre about to scream some very choice words about that curly haired emo asshole, but Lucas intercepts the group and joins you guys. He looks between you, Mike, and Dustin, sensing some underlying tension. âWhat about Eddie?â
Mike quickly explains, and the more he talks, the more you want to shove your knives down Eddieâs throat. Itâs one night, one goddamn night, and here Mike and Dustin are, almost shitting their pants at the idea of missing one Hellfire meeting to support their friend. While itâs unfortunate that all of this is happening on the same night, and though you recognize how long a campaign can take and how much the game means to the party, for once you canât bring yourself to understand Dustinâs side.Â
A championship game versus one single campaign meeting that can easily be done tomorrow instead.
Seems like a pretty easy decision to you.Â
Lucas doesnât understand why Mike and Dustin are so conflicted either. âI donât get the big deal.â Youâre all outside now, heading towards the main building for your classes. âJust talk to Eddie. Get him to move Hellfire to another night.â
You nod, agreeing with him, and Dustin rolls his eyes. ââJust talk to Eddie.ââ
âYou canât be serious right now,â your shoulder brushes harshly against the boyâs. Youâre barely containing your anger right now. âWhy does Eddie have such a strong hold over you guys? Hasnât he repeated senior year twice now?â
âWhy does that matter?â Mike looks at you as if youâre the scum of the earth that he just so happened to step on. âWhy canât Lucas just talk to his coach and get him to move the game?â
Dustin quips that he thinks Mikeâs idea is a great one, but you shove between them and throw your hands in the air in annoyance. âYou canât possibly think thatâs the same thing, right? A nationally organized game being postponed for a board game.â
Mike and Dustin both gasp at you, acting as if youâve just threatened to kill a baby bunny in front of them, which only annoys you more. Sure, maybe youâre being a little mean right now, but youâre not appreciating how theyâre treating Lucas. Heâs never done anything to warrant this blatant disrespect from them. Theyâre refusing to see his side, too lost in their Eddie induced high.Â
âDnD isnât just a board game, Y/N! Iâm honestly disappointed that you of all people would even say that. Youâve seen the intricacies of a campaign. You know Iâve spent all month now preparing for the end of Eddieâs campaign!â Dustin waves his hands in front of him, heâs in his own ecstasy of anger and annoyance, something innate in the Henderson bloodline. âA semester of adventuring has led to this moment, and we need Lucas.â
âYeah, and the Tigers donât.â Mike looks over at Lucas. âI mean, no offense, but youâve been on the bench all yearâshit!â
You swat the back of Mikeâs head, the sound of his yelp satisfying and the sting of the hit soothes you. He looks at you, offended, and you just shake your head at him. âNo, that was out of line and you know it.â
âOne day Iâm gonna be too tall for you to hit me, you know.â Mike scowls at you as he rubs his head.Â
âAnd Iâll mourn the day when that happens,â you respond dryly before pointing at Lucas. âNow, apologize to him before I hit you again.â
Lucas lowers your finger and shakes his head. âItâs fine, Y/N. Me being on the bench isnât the point, anyways.â
âPlease, arrive at the point.â Your brother drops his head back and closes his eyes. Heâs tired, he regrets even starting this conversation in the first place. The more the four of you talk, the angrier he can feel you become. Mikeâs head may now be sore, but Dustin lives with you. If anyone here is in danger of your lecturing, itâs him.
âIf I get in good with these guys, Iâll be in the popular crowd, and then you guys will be too.â Lucas explains, looking between Dustin and Mike as he urges them to understand, but they donât. Mike claims that they donât want to be popular, something that Lucas doesnât believe. âWhat, you wanna be stuck with the nerds and freaks for three more years?â
âWe are nerds and freaks!â Dustin exclaims, causing a few students in the hall to look at you guys. You wave at them awkwardly, youâre starting to regret following the boys. This conversation feels personal, like you shouldnât be intruding. Though you think Lucas has every right to want a good high school experience, you also think Mike and Dustin deserve to have their own experiences as well. If they donât want to be popular, then thatâs their decision just as much as itâs Lucasâ to want to be.Â
You step between the three boys, finally getting their attention. âGuys, no one here is necessarily right or wrong. Lucas has every right to want to be a part of the basketball crowd, and you two,â you raise your eyebrows at Mike and Dustin, âhave every right to want to stick with Eddieâs crowd.â
Dustin sighs, âthanks, Y/Nââ
âIâm not finished,â you hold a hand up and shush your brother. âWhat isnât right, however, is abandoning one another. You guys are friends, and right now Lucas wants you at his game tonight to support him. Tonight is special, everyone will be there, and I want you guys there as well. I know high school is hard, but itâs even harder when youâre alone.â
âSays the girl who is adored by everyone in this shitty town.â Mike huffs, he canât believe how hypocritical youâre being. âYouâve never had to deal with what we do. No one has ever laughed at you or tried to make you jump off a cliff just because youâre different.â
You clench your jaw. Dustin looks at you wearily, he doesnât like what Mike is saying, but he also canât help but agree with his friend. You havenât ever been bullied. All your life youâve blended in, stood out only when you were kind to others, admired for your selflessness, but never enough to be invited to parties or dumped behind a dumpster.
âMikeâŠâ Your brother tries to pull him away from you, but you both stand your ground.
âYouâre right, Wheeler. I donât know what itâs like.â You stare up at the boy, and Mikeâs expression softens only slightly. Heâs just as stubborn as you are, itâs why the two of you admire the other so much. âBut you forget that Iâm Jonathanâs best friend. The creep, the loser, the psychopath. Kids may not have ever targeted me, but Iâve seen what they do to the people they hate.â
All the times you had to ice Jonathanâs bruised face. The nights you spent in his room holding him as he cried because Lonnieâs fists and Tommyâs cruel words were too much. The sneers, the stares Jonathan received because he was different. Quiet. Being your best friend hadnât lessened the blows.Â
For years you wish you couldâve done more for Jonathan. Now, presented with Lucasâ opportunity to befriend the crowd that once was so cruel to your friend, you refuse to lose it. âThatâs why I donât want Lucas skipping the game tonight.â
Itâs silent for a few moments, all three boys donât know what to say. Taking a deep breath, Lucas stands beside you and breaks the silence. âWe came to high school wanting things to be different, right? Now we have that chance. Like Y/N said, if I skip tonight, thatâs all out the window. So Iâm asking you guys, as a friend, just talk to Eddie. Get him to move Hellfire.â
Lucas pauses, he wets his lips and looks between his friends again. He feels so small, pleading for their attention. âCome to my game. Please.â
The bell rings, ending the conversation, and Lucas spares one last look at Dustin and Mike before mumbling a soft goodbye to you. He leaves you alone with the boys, who in turn mirror conflicted expressions.Â
âShit!â Dustin kicks his foot out and looks at you. âThis is all your fault, you know that?â
âWhat is?â
âMe having empathy. I hate this. Why couldnât you have raised me to be an asshole?â
You snort at Dustin before pulling him into a weak hug. You only have a few more minutes before you need to get to class, you canât stay very long, but you also donât want to leave the boys without some semblance of comfort. âYouâre too charming to be an asshole. Just⊠Come to the game, alright? Both of you. Iâll even make brownies if I have to. I just-Iâve missed you guys. This will be good for all of us.â
Mike ducks his head and Dustin sighs once more. Neither want to say anything else, so you reluctantly release your brother and leave them alone to wallow in their self-created misery.Â
Theyâll do the right thing. Youâre sure of it.
âÂ
Lunch comes and Alex sits next to you. He started sitting with you at lunch just after winter break, and youâre endlessly grateful for him. Youâre no longer alone, and heâs good company. A part of you regrets that it took the two of you three years to grow your friendship outside of Bookstrorindary.Â
Youâll miss him when you graduate.Â
Max is with Ms. Kelly today, a change in their usual meeting schedule of Tuesdays and Thursdays, meaning you had been right. She did skip their meeting yesterday and the counselor had to corner her this morning to schedule another one.Â
âBe honest, how excited are you to move to New York this summer?â Alex asks you, taking a bite out of his carrot stick. Youâve come to learn that he has a weird obsession with the vegetable, always packing at least twelve of them every day.Â
You pick at your own lunch, a wilted salad and sandwich your mom left for you this morning. âHonestly? It hasnât really hit me yet. I mean, I only got in last week. I think my mind is still trying to catch up with reality.â
âOh, câmon. You canât tell me youâre not at least a little excited.â
âOkay, okay,â you laugh and nudge the boy. âIâm a little excited. I just.. Havenât really had time to think too much about it, you know? Between work, my brother, Steve, the kids, andâŠâ
âJonathan?â Alex finishes for you. Heâs the only one who knows about how distant Jonathan has been. Youâve confided in him about how worried you are, about the phone calls while heâs high and the way Jonathanâs voice no longer sounds like his.Â
You shove your lunch away, no longer hungry. âYeah.â
âYou guys call every Friday, right? Maybe tonight will be different!â Alex tries to cut through the tension that now corrodes your demeanor, which you smile at him gratefully for.Â
âYeah, who knows.â A piece of hair falls in your face and you push it behind your ear. Picking up your fork again, you attempt to finish your meal, but a sudden commotion interrupts the low buzz in the lunchroom.Â
âAs long as youâre into band, or science, or parties.â Eddie Munson sneers from the cafeteria table heâs standing on. He looks around the room as if everyone else is beneath him. Not worth his time just because they enjoy different things. Looking at Alex, you both sigh and prepare for whatever Eddie has to say today. His voice grows louder, shouting across the room towards the basketball teamâs table. âOr a game where you toss balls into laundry baskets!â
Jason stands up and a few students whoop and cheer. âYou want something, freak?â
Eddie sticks to fingers up behind his head as he creates little devil horns, snarling with his tongue out and hissing. Jason grimaces, you do too.Â
âHeâs a little much, isnât he?â You say to Alex, relieved when Eddie starts to step down from the table.Â
âHe terrifies me.â Alex breathes out, not taking his eyes off Eddie in fear heâll somehow cast a spell on him.
You laugh at your friendâs unnecessary fear. Eddie is harmless, Hellfire isnât a demonic cult like some students at Hawkins seem to think. It really is just a club centered around a board game with impressive storytelling and detailed plotlines. From what Dustin has told you, Eddie truly is the best dungeon master in Indiana.Â
And while you believe him, you canât wrap your head around why your brother idolizes Eddie so much. The fascination runs deeper than just DnD. Dustin has spent almost every day of his freshman year wrapped around Eddieâs finger. He spends all his time with the teen now, rarely with you, but youâre not bitter. Of course youâre not. Dustin can have his own friends, you know this, but you also feel so⊠unneeded.Â
Your little brother doesnât need you anymore, and itâs a hard pill to swallow.
Truthfully, Alexâs question earlier about moving to New York in the summer sparked more than just your usual anxiety over Jonathan. It also reminded you that in only a few short months youâll be in an entirely new state, a new city, far away from Dustin.Â
âY/N!â Dustin flies into the seat next to you, nearly upending the table itself with how violently he throws himself down.
Alex shrieks and you steady the table before anything can fall. Heart pounding, you clutch at your chest as your nerves settle. âWhy must you always be so violent?â
âBecause itâs fun,â Dustin responds, not even bothering to acknowledge Alexâs presence. Instead, his eyes are only on you, and thereâs a crazed spark in them. Heâs breathing heavily, frantic, and you dread where this is going. âLook, I need to ask you a huge favor.â
âDo you realize that this is the first time youâve sat with me at lunch since the first day?â
He winces. âAnd I will repent every day for my horrendous sins. I promise, I justâJesus youâre terrifying when you donât blink.â Dustin removes his hat to fix his hair, a nervous tick of his. Heâs stalling, he shouldâve never come here. Gulping, he rips the band aid off. âI need you to sub for Lucas tonight.â
âIâm sorry?â Youâre giving him an out, one chance to back down before you strangle him.
Only Dustin tightens the noose even more. âPlease, Y/N! Eddie wonât move the campaign. He said something about sheep and-and finding subs because Mike and I are, uh. I guess the future of Hellfire and he needs us and did I mention how important this campaign is? Itâs super cool, super gory and totally up your alley andââ
âNo.â
âN-no?â Dustin practically deflates in front of you, the light in his eyes dies.Â
You shove him away from you, you donât want to look at his pathetic pouting. Youâre so unbelievably hurt right now, so fucking infuriated. âYou have spent every goddamn waking hour ass kissing Eddie. You havenât so much as looked at me during lunch this entire year as if Iâm a fucking plague. Youâve canceled plans, youâre hardly ever home, and now you expect me to abandon Lucas, someone who has spent time with me this year, someone who has made this entire year less lonely for me. Something, by the way, that you havenât even noticed, all because you finally need me?â
Dustinâs mouth opens and closes, he doesnât know what to say, but for once you donât care. How could he possibly think youâd miss Lucasâ game tonight? You adore the boys, each and every one of them, and now Dustin expects you to just abandon one of them for the others?Â
âYouâre only here because itâs convenient for you.â You hiss, venom pouring from your voice. âFor Eddie.âÂ
âY/NâŠâ Dustinâs voice breaks, he sounds like a little kid again, the baby brother you doted on your entire life. âPlease.â
âNo!â You scream at him.Â
The word echoes throughout the cafeteria. A few students turn to you, some curious, some annoyed. Alex draws into himself, wishing he were anywhere but here right now. Dustinâs eyes widen, his skin pales, and you clamp your hand over your mouth, completely and utterly mortified.Â
Youâve never, ever yelled at Dustin like this before. Not with so much malice, vitriol.Â
You feel like youâre twelve again, your anger hurting your baby brother.Â
Red hot with embarrassment and shame, you quickly get up from the table and flee the cafeteria. Dustin calls after you, but you stumble through the hallway towards the nearest bathroom. Tears burn your eyes, guilt wracks your body in painful thuds.Â
By the time you lock yourself in the bathroomâs stall, your sobs have begun to claw their way out of your throat. Pressing your back against the wall, you sink to the ground and pull your knees into your chest as you finally allow yourself to cry.
Abandonment makes you cruel. Your father taught you that.
âÂ
You donât see Dustin for the rest of the day. Heâs missing Lucasâ game and youâre angry with him for that, but you also feel such an intense guilt over your outburst. You canât stomach the thought of seeing him.Â
School ends and Steve drives you to work. The shift will be a short one due to the championship game, and Steve is staying with you so that you can drive to the game together. However, the moment you get into his car, he notices the dried tears on your face and the redness in your eyes and immediately throws his arms around you. In between shaky breaths and cries, you explain what happened to Steve.
He soothes you, tells you that you can always talk to Dustin after tonightâs game. Right now you and your brother need space from one another, and you hate that Steveâs right. Youâll force Dustin into a code blue, youâre long overdue for one, anyways. Heâs been acting weird for weeks now. Someone has to give in, you know this, and if it has to be you then youâll do anything to get your brother back.Â
For now, Steve holds your hand as he guides you through the crowd of people in the bleachers. They all cheer for Hawkins High, the energy in the gym is electric. Faces are painted, cheerleaders wave their pom-poms, and youâre wearing Steveâs old Tigers jersey. Youâre not much for school spirit, but Steve almost crashed the car when he realized you were wearing the jersey, and you know Lucas will appreciate it too.
âY/N, over here.â Steveâs hand falls onto the small of your back as he gently pushes you towards some open seats heâs found. You lean into his touch and sit beside him. With his body against yours, you try to immerse yourself in the joy from the crowd.Â
The entire town is here tonight. Everyone is smiling, kids laugh and parents wave posters for their sons. Tonight will be a good night, youâve decided this to be true.Â
The national anthem is announced and everyone rises in their seats. When the broadcaster announces that Tammy Thompson will be singing, you and Steve look at each other incredulously. Laughter rises within you and you cackle when Robin finds the two of you in the crowd. Thereâs no way this wonât end in disaster.Â
Tammy walks out, wearing a horrendous faux cowboy outfit, and almost immediately sings off-key. You cringe, ears stinging from the attack, and try desperately not to let out any laughter as she continues to butcher the song.Â
Steve whispers over to Robin, âtold you. Muppet.â
âOkay, she does sound like a muppet.â Robin agrees, which only makes it harder to contain your giggles. Tammy is worse than a muppet, she sounds like a goddamn muppet that broke into her dadâs alcohol stash.Â
âYou sound better, angel.â Steve whispers into your ear, breath warm against your skin.Â
You lean back against him and smile sarcastically. âAnyone can sound better than her.â
Steve chuckles and you canât help but join him. You know itâs rude, that Tammy is honestly not that bad, though definitely not good enough for Nashville, but you canât help it. You canât believe Robin ever had such a huge crush on the girl who now drones the national anthem like a dying parrot.Â
In between breaths of laughter, you see Lucas looking up at the bleachers. His face is grim, he doesnât see Mike or Dustin or Max. None of his friends showed up, and you watch him with sympathy. You canât believe them.Â
But then Lucas sees you, and he gives you a weak smile. Your attendance isnât enough, you know it isnât, but you hold up the poster you made for him and he laughs despite himself.Â
The game starts, and from the moment the whistle is blown, itâs intense. The Tigers are neck and neck with the Falcons. Steve tries to explain whatâs happening throughout the game, but it all goes over your head. The energy in the room is intoxicating, though. You lean forward in your seat, you cheer when everyone else does, boo when you think you should.
âCarver just loves hogging the spotlight, doesnât he?â Steve says with disdain as he watches Jason side sweep his teammates to score.Â
You poke his side, you know heâs only saying this because heâs still bitter that Jaosn tried asking you out last summer. âHoney, your jealousy is showing.âÂ
Steve tries to deny this, but then a player gets injured during a foul from Falcon, causing you and Steve to both spew insults at the player. You have no idea what the foul even is, but youâre enjoying the chaos of the game.
In the midst of your uproar, you almost miss Lucas being sent into the game. You slap Steveâs chest repeatedly to get his attention, you almost donât believe what youâre seeing. âSteve! Is thatââ
âSinclair!â He whoops, but he quickly scrambles to catch you as you nearly throw yourself off the bleachers in your blind excitement cheering. Youâre screaming your head off, hardly even registering Steveâs hands on your waist. Youâre incoherent and ecstatic, drunk on adrenaline.Â
Lucas is playing.
The game only gets more brutal from there. The points even out, both teams neck and neck. Anxious, you squeeze Steveâs hand with anticipation. Everything happens so fast, Lucas plays so naturally with the others, as if he was born to be there.Â
âGo, Tigers!â You jump up and down as Lucas runs after Jason. Theyâre doing a new play, attempting to score the tie breaker. Jason shoots, the ball hits off the backboard and onto the rim. Your breath catches, thereâs only three seconds left on the clock. The ball falls, and there isnât any time left.
Until Lucas catches the missed shot. He dribbles the ball, you clutch Steveâs hand, neither one of you utters a single word as Lucas makes the final shot. Itâs an all or nothing throw, a risk, but he takes it anyways. The ball soars through the air, hits the rim. The buzzer sounds, the game is over, and the ball spins around the rim before finally sinking through the net.
Your chest burns as you violently cheer, Steve flings himself into your arms. Youâre both jumping around, screaming together like little kids. âHey did it!â You scream, and Steve shakes you in his arms with the biggest smile on his face.
âSinclair did it!â
Down below, Lucasâ face lights up as the crowd goes wild for him. This is the happiest youâve seen the kid in so long. The entire basketball team swarms Lucas, they lift him into the air and you cheer alongside them.
Steve tells you heâll go warm the car up and you practically run outside to find Lucas as soon as the game is done. Your body buzzes, youâre still breathless with exhilaration. When you find Lucas, heâs just left the crowd of teenage boys. Wanting to surprise him, you creep up slowly before throwing your arms from behind him. âThereâs the star!â
He stumbles from your weight, but he knows itâs you. Laughing, he turns around and you pull him into a bone crushing hug. âYou came!â
âOf course I did, you moron!â You giggle, pulling away to straighten his jacket. âI made you a poster and everything.â
Lucas looks down at the poster that hangs by your side. His eyes light up, he remembers seeing it in the stands at the beginning of the game, but he hadnât been able to read it from so far away. âCan I see it?â
âIâd be offended if you didnât want to see it.â You unroll the poster and present it with a grand flourish. âTada!âÂ
Sin to win, Sinclair!
Youâre incredibly proud of the wordplay, and Lucas chuckles. Itâs good, he has to admit. Youâve left no white space on the poster, littering with small 8âs for his jersey and millions of small stickers and decorations. The poster was made with love, and Lucas knows you spent hours making it.
âI love it, Y/N.â He does. It will hang on his wall as soon as he gets home.
You beam at him. Then, from behind you, you hear your brotherâs own cheers as a door opens. Lucasâ smile fades, hurt creeps upon his face. Frowning, you turn and find Dustin and Mike high fiving their Hellfire friends as they all celebrate the end of their campaign. Erica is with them, cheering with everyone else.Â
âLucasâŠâ Your breath gives out. He doesnât deserve this. Tonight was supposed to be his night. You turn to him, wracking your brain to try and figure out what youâre even supposed to say at this moment. Fifty feet away Lucasâ close friends are celebrating a night without him, his sister overjoyed as well. Theyâve forgotten about him.
For once, you canât find the right words to say.
âThanks for the poster, Y/N.â Lucas doesnât want your sympathy. He leaves, crestfallen, and youâre left standing alone holding the poster he had been praising seconds ago. The late March air chills your bones.Â
Youâve never been so disappointed in your brother before.
âÂ
Steve drives you home and youâre silent the entire time.Â
âDustin isnât a bad kid, Y/N. You know that.â Steve tries to reason with you, but what your brother has done tonight leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. âIâm sure by tomorrow heâll realize he was a jerk and apologize. He always does, heâs just being a stupid teen boy right now.â
You face the window, watching the trees fading into the distance. You know Steve is right, you know that Dustin is still growing up, making mistakes. Hell, no one is perfect at fifteen. When you were his age you were falling in love with your best friend as you hunted monsters together. Neither you or Jonathan or Nancy knew what the hell you guys were doing back then.
But this is different. Dustin has never betrayed his friends like this before. He, out of all of them, should understand the pain of being left behind. He spent half the summer upset that the party ditched him, and now heâs ditching Lucas?
âYou know, I used to be a stupid teen boy.â Steve says, trying again to get you to say something. To look at him, at least.
It works, a small smile turns your lips. âI never knew.â
He laughs at the sarcasm in your voice, but he plays along anyways. âOh, I totally was. I just hid it really well by, you know, making you hate me for a while by being annoying. But hey, look at me now! Iâm still annoying, but at least I have it all figured out with you.â
âAnd what do you have figured out, honey?â You turn your head towards him, watch the street lamps illuminate his face.
Steve smiles. âUs. Our future. Sure, I may not know if Iâll ever get a better job, but Iâm sure as shit staying with you, starting a life together so that I can annoy you for all eternity.â
âHow romantic,â a giggle falls from your lips. Youâve been with Steve for nearly a year now, but you havenât really talked about the future yet. At least not so intimately, with so much assurance that in the end itâll be the two of you. âAnd where will we live, Romeo?â
âNew York, obviously. As soon as you graduate, weâll find some horrible, run down apartment thatâs barely big enough for two people. Weâll move in, but there wonât be any air conditioning so weâll almost murder each other in the heat. Everyone will hate the place, but weâll love it.â
As Steve talks, the smile that had once been on your face begins to fade. He rambles on, not noticing the shift. He dreams up the plans, how heâll stay home while you go to class. How heâll fix the leaky faucet that will inevitably annoy everyone. Steve envisions himself waiting for you to come home after a long day of classes and falling into his arms.Â
âSteveââ But he doesnât hear you. Heâs busy explaining how heâll probably have to sell his car to afford the apartment, but that he doesnât care, and you feel sick. Itâs too much, heâs giving up too much. Heâs willing to give up his entire life for you, drop everything and follow you without any questions asked.Â
Itâs what your mother did for your father. They met in college, both attending Purdue. Their relationship had been a whirlwind. Love at first sight, married as soon as they graduated, your father convinced your mom to follow him back to Virginia. To abandon her family and move two states over while pregnant with you. She didnât know anyone in Virginia, her father moved them to a small town where only his name was known.Â
The divorce that followed twelve years later ruined your motherâs life. She had been left all alone, no family to support her, no friends, in a state she never grew up in.
And now Steve wants to do the same for you.
Raising your voice slightly, you try to interrupt him again. âSteve!â
âWhat?â He looks over at you, words finally dying. âDo you want to keep the car?â
âYou⊠you canât.âÂ
Steve frowns. âI canât what?â
Your hands shake. Your heart trembles. Your words die in your throat. Thereâs so much you want to say, you can feel the pit in your stomach build into a fist. You canât let Steve do this. He doesnât understand that he deserves more than this. âYou-you canât come to New York.â
Everything stills. You donât dare to breathe, to disrupt the silence. Your words come out all wrong, you know they do, but theyâre out in the open and Steve doesnât look at you as he pulls into your driveway. Silent, he turns the carâs engine off.
âY/NâŠâ Steve still canât look at you. He places his hands on the steering wheel, as if bracing himself for whatever will unfold tonight. Heâs scared, he doesnât understand what heâs done wrong. His mind flashes, and for a brief second heâs back at the Halloween party and youâre Nancy in his passenger seat. âDo you not see a future with me?â
âI do!â You sit up in your seat, reach over to touch Steveâs thigh. You need to feel him, to ground yourself to him. Everything about this feels wrong. As if youâre hanging over the edge of a chasm with a long, long fall. âGod, of course I see a future with you, I just-this isnât what you really want.â
Steve doesnât want to move to New York, even if he doesnât realize it now. What heâs really doing is chasing after a dream that isnât his. The timing of this is off, he fought with his dad this morning about a future he was unsure of. You know Steve, maybe even better than he knows himself; heâs not doing it for your relationship or out of love. Steve only wants to appease his father, fulfill whatever desire he thinks you have. This isnât what he wants, and heâs worked too hard to build the life he has now, without you, to simply throw it all away.
But he canât see that right now.
âOf course this is what I want, Y/N! All I want is you.â Steve finally looks at you, but thereâs a hardness in his eyes. Heâs detaching himself from you, putting his walls up. âYou and me, thatâs what I want.â
You grab his hand, you try to keep your voice calm. âSteve, I love you so, so much, but I canât-I canât let you give everything up for me. Your life is here, in Hawkins. You have a job, you have your friends and-and your family, and it wouldnât be fair to either one of us if you abandon it for me. You could-you could resent me for it later, you could realize you hate our life and wish you never followed me andââ
âY/N, what did you think was going to happen when you were applying to all those colleges?â Steve runs a hand through his hair, he thought you were beside him this whole time. He assumed youâd been carving out the same future he had been. But he was wrong. âDid you really think Iâd just stay behind and wait for you to come home every break?â
âIâŠâ Shamefully, you hadn't been considering what would happen between you and Steve. In your mind, he was your future, he was in it, but the details were hazy. You werenât sure how, or why, or when, but you knew that in the end, Steve was the person youâd spend forever with.Â
Steve takes your hesitancy as his answer. âGod, Iâm such a fucking idiot.â
âSteveââ
âYou were just going to leave me.â
He tears his hand from yours and you blink back tears. Youâve never fought with him before, not like this. âI wasnât just going to leave you! I just-Steve, please just listen!â
âI am, Y/N!â Steve exclaims, voice reverberating the car. You flinch away, and he immediately lowers his voice, apologetic. He hadnât meant to scare you, he hadnât meant to make you cry. Ashamed, Steve turns away from you. âI-Iâm sorry.âÂ
He wants to wipe the tears heâs caused, but selfishly he also wants you to hurt like heâs hurting. You donât see a future with Steve. You were going to leave him just like everyone else does.Â
Steve shouldâve known all of this was too good to be true.Â
âI love you,â your voice is almost inaudible, the three words barely reach the light before they disappear into the dark night. Youâre not sure why you say them, the words had built in your chest, the pressure heavy, and you needed to release them. To remind Steve of your oath to him.Â
Silence fills the car. Steve doesnât look at you, his shoulders are drawn together. His jaw clenches and you know heâs trying desperately to bite his tongue, withholding the cruel words that only heartbreak can provoke.Â
âHoney,â you beg him to say something, anything. âSteve.â
âI think you should go.â
The dismissal punches your throat, knocks the wind out of you. Heâs shutting you out, closing himself off from you, and you donât understand how the two of you got here. âI⊠Are you sure?â
âYes,â Steveâs words are cool, composed. Indifferent, almost. He still doesnât look at you, his eyes remain focused on something in your driveway. âItâs late, you should get some sleep.â
âOkay,â you donât want to leave, you know it isnât good to go to bed angry with the one you love. Anger should never simmer, it should never be left unwatched. But Steve is silently asking you to give him space so that he can hurt, and you arenât selfish enough to deny his request. And yet youâre selfish enough to press your lips to Steveâs cheek, but he doesnât lean in like how normally does. Instead, he remains stoic, and you swallow down your tears and open the door to leave. âDrive home safe, honey.â
Steve doesnât say anything else. Instead, he starts the car as soon as the door is closed and drives away. He doesn't look back, he doesnât wait to see if youâve made it inside your house safely.Â
Tears spill down your face as you blindly walk towards your front door. Your argument with Steve replays over and over again in your head. You analyze every second, every word, you try to understand when everything fell apart.Â
Itâs dark in your home, your mother is asleep and Dustinâs door is closed, but right now all you want is your brother. You need to talk to him, cry into his shoulder and smell the shampoo heâs used ever since he was a baby. Your feet carry you to Dustinâs room and you pound on his door, begging him to let you in. You donât bother masking the tears in your voice, youâre too exhausted to hide them from him. âDustin, please let me in.â
âGo away!â Thereâs a thud on the door, heâs thrown something at it to shut you up. He doesnât want to hear some stupid lecture right now. He knows he was an asshole tonight, he regrets it, but right now all Dustin wants to do is sleep. Heâll deal with you tomorrow.Â
âCode blue,â you press your forehead against the door, your tears fall to the ground. âC-code blue.â Your voice hiccups, more tears come, minutes pass, and your brother never answers.
For the first time since you were kids, Dustin rejects your request for a code blue.Â
The phone rings. The sound pierces through your ears, cuts through the headache that is starting to form. Itâs Friday night. Jonathan is calling.Â
Squeezing your eyes shut as you head pounds, you inhale shakily. You have to answer him, otherwise heâll only call over and over again with concern. Youâve never missed a phone call, not once in the months since Jonathan has moved, but tonight youâre exhausted.Â
âCan we call tomorrow?â Youâre too tired to greet him and voice cracks, revealing far too much already.
âBug?â Jonathanâs high, heâs always high. And yet even in his cloudy haze of smoke he can hear the anguish in your voice. âIs everythinâ okay?â
His question only makes you cry more. Youâve always tried your best to put up a front for others, to pretend that everything is okay. Youâve never wanted to worry people, youâve always pushed aside your own hurt for the sake of others. Now, as anger and grief and despair clasp their hands around your throat, youâre terrified youâll suffocate.Â
Youâve never been able to lie to Jonathan, and tonight you donât think you can. âIâve had⊠the worst night.â You confess to him, wiping away tears.
You tell him everything, your fight with Dustin, how you think he may resent you leaving for college. You tell Jonathan about Lucas, how you were so disappointed in Dustin and Mike. Choking through tears, you explain to Jonathan your fight with Steve. How your words failed you, how hurt he looked, that you canât explain to him how he only wants his future to align with yours, but not with your relationship.Â
Even though you know that Jonathan wonât remember any of this tomorrow, for once youâre grateful that heâs too high to remember anything. It feels good just being able to say it all out loud.Â
ââM sorry, bug.â Jonathan mumbles over the phone once youâve finished explaining everything. He sounds far away, figuratively and literally. You canât imagine how much his drugged mind retained, but youâre thankful to have gotten it all off your chest anyways.Â
âItâs fine,â you inhale again, youâve finally stopped crying, though your chest still hurts and your head still pounds. âSteve and I⊠Weâll figure it out.â
Jonathan pauses, and for a moment you think heâs fallen asleep, but then his voice floats through the telephone line. âDo you.. Do you ever wonder if weâve made a mistake?â
He strings his words slowly together, says them one by one with a hesitancy, and you frown. You donât understand what heâs trying to say. What mistakes could you have made together? âWhat do you mean, bee?â
âI just⊠everythinâ is so hard. With Nance. Feel like⊠like âm never enough for her. And you, Steve. âS hard between you guys.â Jonathanâs words slur, heâs almost too incoherent to understand, and later you will wish that you hadnât been able to understand him at all. âBut you ân me? âS easy. Always so easy.â
His words toe the line between you, he canât mean any of it. You donât want him to mean any of it, because then the fallout would be too catastrophic to contain.
Heâs Jonathan. Your oldest, dearest friend. Your best friend. Years ago, you couldâve been something more, you almost were something more, but the time has passed.Â
Youâre with Steve now, youâre happy and so, so in love with him. Even though everything is tangled between you right now, even though youâre fighting, you know that you and Steve will figure it out. Heâs the one. Heâs the man you want to marry one day, if heâll allow you to.Â
Jonathan is your past, Steve is your future, and right now youâre terrified that soon youâll lose them both.
âJonathan,â you finally say, his name now heavy on your tongue. It feels like youâre betraying someone while saying his name, but you need to end this conversation. Before Jonathan says something heâll regret in the morning. âYou love Nancy, I love Steve, and you need to go to sleep.â
âLove you,â Jonathanâs words slur even more, his voice drifting off. âYou, always youâŠâ
You slam the phone done, ending the call, as a chill runs down your spine. Silence encases you, the house is still. The strings and threads from years ago constrict around your throat. You choke on the lines Jonathan has crossed tonight, the tightness in your head stabs against your skull.Â
There is no one to hear you, no one there to hear your final words to your best friend. âGoodbye, Jonathan.â
-
â series masterlist
â i am no longer doing a taglist, my apologies ! however, please feel free to like, reblog, and comment instead :)
#steve harrington x henderson!reader#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x you#stranger things#steve harrington fanfic#stranger things rewrite#slowburn#angst#bdyr#m's writing#SEASON 4 EVERYONE CHEER !!!!#also i dont hate eddie but bug does#lmao
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ê° synopsis ê± all hopes were crushed when you realized there was no way to get close to your crush, choi beomgyu. your advances to get close to him never seemed to work. so, you decided to get closer to his best friend, heeseung, by joining the broadcasting club. but as scripts change, so do crushes, and you end up falling for his best friend instead.
âž auditions are open . . . !
ă
€âMATCHMAKER ââ crush's bsf ! heeseung x reader
fast forward ââ [ genre ] : written, fluff, 90s/20th century girl au, slowburn
meet the members ! beomgyu, soobin, jungwon, karina, rei, sunghoon, lia, my ocs
warnings 𧷠angst but also teeth rotting fluff, suggestive â kissing; making out, cursing, skinship, afab reader, mentions of parties and underage drinking, slowburn like actual slowburn u might fall asleep, heeseung has mommy and daddy issues (erm), mentions of injuries (nothing serious) heeseung is mean at first gn, heeseung typical cold kdrama ml, beomgyu fboy era real (01z on top what can I say) lmk if there's anything I missed!
ă
€he's a real catch âč 23K (lol what.)
â [ archives ] one result found . . . hi hi my heeseung long fic era is finally here !! also happy early birthday to my sewlmate @yenqa hope u like my silly little work books butt!!! I had the urge to write a hee fic after watching a time called you (but my inspo is mostly from 20th century girl) also yes I tried a diff type of writing so hopefully it doesn't come out as childish eurm and I did not mean to make it this long bye also ty yen yen for making my synopsis and for proof reading !! (love ya stinkabutt) alsooo the end won't be like the end?? like ill write some drabbles for this!! I just wanted to get this over with lmao anyways hope you enjoy !! reblogs and comments r very much appreciated ^^
The fall of nineteen-ninety-six marked a pivotal moment in your life. Ever since you came into the world, you never really could grasp the concept of love. You wrapped your head around the myths and tales your mother would read to you every night. You thought that every princess would have her own shining knight in armour. So after thirteen years of living, where was yours?
Your knight in shining armour, or knights in shining armour, existed within the pages of the comic books you read. You often wondered if they would magically pop out of your books and transport you into their world.
Similarly, you wondered whether any of the characters from your adored TV shows would step out and bring you into their lives.
So, it wasn't a surprise when your jaw dropped to the ground as you saw the most beautiful man in your life (well, technically, boy). If the epitome of beauty was a fourteen-year-old boy, it would be Beomgyu.
But it wasnât just his face that made your thirteen-year-old self swoon over him, it was also the way he acted. You loved the way he conversed, his smooth way of talking at a young age and the way he smiled at you every time he made jokes with his friends. You loved how his eyes lightened every time heâd pull a silly prank.
But the problem was, he never talked to you. You admired him from afar. You never actually had the guts to talk to him.
As if You were content with watching his funny actions from a distance. There were some moments when you pushed aside your nervousness and talked to him.
You remember having butterflies in your stomach the moment you first talked to him. There were times when you both were paired up as project partners for a biology assessment and at that moment, you swore you would have worshipped the floor that your biology teacher walked on due to her giving you an opportunity like this.
You knew this was an opportunity to make your move. And you did. You brought him small snacks with little notes on them. Gave him gifts regularly. Maybe even took lessons from your best friend on how to subtly flirt with him. You really thought you had him. Because whenever you used to play out these little acts, you saw the subtle smile on his face. You were so close. Itâs like the universe laid it out for you. Gosh, how lucky you were!
Luck. The luck that you thought you had. If luck was a person, you wouldâve tackled it to the ground already. Because the day you were about to confess to him was the day he announced his new girlfriend.Â
His first girlfriend. You doubt you called it âloveâ since the only thing she cared about was that he was popular and pretty. Thatâs it? All that girl could get from Beomgyu was his looks and his reputation. You couldâve scoffed at the sight.
Beomgyu was so much more than that. He was loyal, kind, and trustworthy. And she went for his looks. Even though she had him, you felt as if she was missing out on so much. You were partly sad due to them getting together and also due to Beomgyu getting used to his looks.
So, you were practically prancing when you heard the news of their breakup a month later. Did you care that Beomgyu was absolutely heartbroken? Well, yes, but you felt relieved that Beomgyu was finally unleashed from that mean troll's wrath.
And as he got older, he grew more handsome. And God did you love it. When you entered high school he was a completely different person. He had gotten more flirty and way more pretty. He was way out of your league.Â
Out of the years you were in this crappy high school, you made absolutely no improvement in your and Beomgyuâs relationship. Beomgyu, who kept getting new flings every summer and tons of situationships seemed to discard your existence. One could only say âWhat the fuck?â
Your thoughts swirled, and you had a collection of emotions roaming around your head until your best friend jolted you back into reality with a gentle nudge on the shoulder.
âAre you even listening?â Seoriâs voice cut through your thoughts, annoyed, since she had to explain what she was talking about in the first place.
âSorry, what were you saying?â you blinked, focusing your attention on your best friend.
She sighs, âI was saying that I think Doyoung is going to ask me out.â Seori pouts âWhy does he not get that I donât like him that way, jeez.â
Her ramble about her current boy toy washed out in the background. You were once back in your thoughts until you saw him heading into the cafeteria. Beomgyu entered the cafeteria, his smile widening at something his best friend said.Â
Lee Heeseung, Beomgyuâs best friend. His ride or die. As long as you can remember, they were attached to the hip. They were basically the package deal. If Beomgyu was the life of the party, Heeseung would hold up his hair while he threw up in the hostâs toilet. While Beomgyu was the exact depiction of a social butterfly, Heeseung remained aloof, keeping people at armâs length. You could only wonder how he dealt with Beomgyuâs outbursting personality.
âEarth to Y/n!â Seori snapped her fingers in front of your face which once again, brought you back to reality.
âSorry.â you sheepishly smiled looking at your best friend's annoyed face. Your friend followed the gaze you had fixed before looking over to her. And her eyes followed the trail of your alleged âmanâââ Beomgyu.
âHim again.â a sigh erupted from Soeri, having enough of your rambling over your four-year-old crush.
âIâm sorry, alright!â you pouted, your back hunching over the disappointing development between you two which was nowhere to be found. âHeâs just so cute, God!â
Your sigh was followed by your best friend. Not long after, your best friendâs fed-up expression converted into a rather eager one.
âI got it!â she exclaimed, her hand hitting your back while she practically screamed. You winced in pain as a few fellow students gave you judgemental stares.
âAll you have to do is be close with his best friend, Lee Heeseung.â she slowly said, almost like a mastermind coming up with a villainous planâwell, you would consider your best friend to be some sort of evil criminal.
But this, this opened new angles in your head. It felt like the universeâor more like your best friendâlaid it out for you again. Your once unsolvable puzzle showed a new direction, and the missing piece was all in front of you.Â
Okay, maybe you felt bad that you were going to use Heeseung like that, even looking forward to it. But, you were really desperate. To the point where you would actually be eager to attend Sunday mass just to ask God for Beomgyu to like you back or even spare one glance at you. Well, what could you do?Â
Out of excitement, you pulled Seori in for a hug with a squeal while giving her a kiss on the cheek which she in return, yelped. âSeori, youâre a genius!â
âYes, I know.â she laughed a bit, escaping your tight grip on her before wiping the spot you kissed her hastily with her hands.
âI mean, how hard could it be?âÂ
You smiled and your gaze went up to the boy you loved for most of your life, then slowly to the equally handsome boy next to him.
Jackpot.
âGod youâre such a pain to be friends with!â Beomgyu scoffed with a smirk underlying in his face, his hands in his pocket.
âWhat? What do you mean?â
âWell, you totally ignored that girlâs attempts to hit on you.â Beomgyu said, replaying the past moment that happened five minutes ago.
âWell, she was a nerd.â Heeseung shrugged, âNot exactly my type.â the boy said as they continued walking.
Beomgyu could only sneer at the hypocritic words coming out of his best friendâs mouth, âWhat do you think you are?â
Heeseung stopped in his tracks, taking great offence to the oh so harsh words said by Beomgyu, âDude.â
Beomgyu in return, slightly chuckled at his âhurtâ face.
âOnly kidding.â he said while they continued to walk to their next class, Beomgyu slightly bumping into Heeseung as a form of apology.
âYouâre lucky Iâm your best friend.â Beomgyu boasted. âOr you would be off with your little nerd antics.â he continued to tease the poor boy, loving the slight reactions his best friend gave.
âHonestly, what would you do without me?â he asked, giving a pat to Heeseungâs back which hurt too much for his liking.
They continued to stroll down the corridor, continuing the conversation with bits of banter here and there.
Beomgyu and Heeseung were basically peanut butter and jelly ââ they just clicked. Every time you saw or thought about Beomgyu, his other part of him was always there. But they were practically the opposite of each other. You would stay up late at night during your daily night sessions of thinking about Beomgyu where you would wonder how in the world they became friends.Â
Heeseung on one hand was the most isolated person youâve ever seen. His only friend was Beomgyu. You would only see him have a handful of acquaintances with his daily visits in the broadcasting club he was in.Â
Now Beomgyu was everything but isolative. He was the star of the school. Which meant he had a shit ton of friends. He was always the centre of attention. With his contagious laughter and a knack for mischief, he perfectly complemented Heeseungâs calm demeanour.Â
Heeseung felt like he was saved when Beomgyu walked in his life. No longer was he the lonely boy who sat alone in the cafeteria because they thought he was a weirdo or whatever. No longer was he the last to be picked for basketball in recess. He finally had a friend.
It was a bond that was made by the silliest circumstances. Heeseung still remembered it like it was yesterday. The day Beomgyu became his knight in shining armour. Back when Heeseung was five or six, he was troubled by the local elementary bullies he had to face every day at school. So he felt even more frustrated when he found himself stuck in a situation where he met his bully outside of school, in a park.Â
While almost being suffocated as he was being grabbed by the collar, a similar aged boy kicked his left buttock from the side so he would fall. It was a silly move, yes. A bit of screaming and newly learnt cuss words came out of the bullyâs mouth and a few threats made Beomgyu scared out of his ass.
He was a pussy in the first place. He always was. So this took him a lot of courage because he had to point out the wrong and fight for justice, or so his favourite superhero at the time said. So naturally after putting on a tough facade, it quickly crumbled when the bully was about to throw a punch which made Beomgyu grab Heeseungâs hand and run.Â
To this day, nothing really changed. Heeseung is still the same shy, quiet kid he was and Beomgyu was still a pussy who acts before he thinks. And together they were the perfect match for each other.Â
You walked through the bustling hallways, barely managing to make it out alive with the sweaty teens packed inside, chattering away. As usual, it was always packed the minute the annoying school bell rang. You held onto the strawberry flavoured juice box you bought earlier as a gift for Heeseung so he knows that you come with good intentions ââ kind of.
At the end of the corridor you made it to the broadcasting room. You felt a bit nervous, contemplating whether to do this or not. But you couldnât back out now. This was your last shot at getting close to Beomgyu. Obviously you couldnât.
You entered the meeting room with a nervous smile to see the faces of familiar people you saw in this school. The room looked cosy. There was obviously the recording studio across the room with a glass panel to see what was happening. A table in the middle, shelves with the older recordings of the morning announcements done by the seniors of the school, some bean bags here and there and a sofa at the end of the room. But what caught your eye the most was the little cork board hanging on one of the walls. It was decorated by a handful of polaroids of the broadcasting club.
At the corner of your eye, you saw one picture which relieved you a bit; a picture of Heeseung smiling as widely as he can. The picture brought a sense of happiness and removed the uneasy feeling you had in your stomach. He actually had feelings and wasn't a statue all the time.
Your thoughts were broken by the president of the club, Soobin. âHi, you must be Y/n, yeah?âÂ
To your eye level, you could only see his chest, so you had to look up to the sun to see his face. Jeez, was he tall. âHi, yes I am. I came to join the club.â You spoke up nervously.
âGreat! Welcome to the club, weâre happy to have you here.â Soobin warmly smiled, looking back at his members, prompting them to welcome, which earnt a cheery âhelloâ from everyone except for the boy sitting at the end of the table, secretly rolling his eyes which you clearly noticed.
You didnât know why he was like this with you. What did you do wrong? Well, technically you were about to do something wrong, considering the entire reason you joined the club was to use Heeseung as your own little puppet to get close with Beomgyu.
You sat on the only seat available, which was next to Karina. She greeted you with a comforting smile. A few minutes into the meeting and you already like you belong here even though you didnât know jackshit about broadcasting or the fact that you would be scared out of your mind to do the morning announcements.
But aside from that, you felt like you had a good time. Except one thing was bugging you. The most important thing you came for. Heeseung. He converted and engaged in the conversation but had kept a distance with you. You, who didnât do anything to him at all. More than you were hurt, you were confused. Trying to remember what you had done in the past to upset Heeseung, but none came to mind.
Every time you had given out a suggestion, everyone agreed except for him. He kept quiet when you opened your mouth. The uneasy feeling was eating you away so you leaned over to Karina.Â
âIs he always like this?â you asked her, your head discreetly pointing at Heeseung.
Karina followed your gaze and looked over to Heeseung, âLike what?â she looked over back to you, confused.
You hesitated for a second before spilling out the words, âIs he always this⊠cold?âÂ
Karina chuckled softly, âYes, but heâs sweet. Heâll take some time to warm up to you.â She reassured you, putting her hand on your shoulder. âDonât worry.â
This somewhat settled the uneasy feeling that roamed around your body. You engaged yourself back into the conversation the meeting currently had. And before you knew it, the meeting ended and the members bid Goodbye to each other, not forgetting about you.Â
Heeseung was quick to leave the club, simply waving to the people present in the club, looking past you with no emotion on his face. You felt like banging your head on the wall. What the heck did you do for him to hate you already? One look at you and he already despised you. Shit, were you that ugly? You touched your face, thinking if you looked unpresentable, but that didnât make sense. You looked fairly average and well there seemed to be nothing wrong with you.
Shit.Â
Did he find out about your plan already? Fuck, fuck, fuck. Thousands of thoughts roamed around your head, each laced with panic. It couldnât be. You hadnât told anybody else about the plan you came up with. If he did find out, he had every right to be mad at you. You were basically using him as your puppet to get closer to Beomgyu. A slow wave of guilt was creeping over you. You cleared your throat and you bid the members that were getting ready to leave, not letting the guilt get to you. You followed Heeseung out the door and down the stairs.
You saw him walking down the stairs, his bag draped over his shoulder.
âHeeseung! Wait!â you said, rushing down the stairs.Â
He turned around to see you rushing down to meet him, âHi, um⊠I thought you might like this.â you said, nervously as you handed the juice box over to him.
He took it and his gaze faltered down the drink in his hand. The next thing he did was one you never expected. He scoffed. He actually scoffed. Was something funny? You didnât get it because if there was something, youâd be the first one to laugh because you did not let any joke pass over your head. You were confused. Was he⊠laughing at you?Â
You were the first to speak, âDid I do something wrong?â
âIâm not thirsty.â he said, looking at you. His gaze made your knees tremble. What the hell was his problem?
He handed you back the drink, but it was the least of your concerns. âWell, Iâll see you on Monday.â you said, your voice suddenly sounding dull, resisting the urge to roll your eyes.
As you passed him you heard him mutter, âYou shouldnâtâ
âWhat?â you turned back. âI donât get what I did?â
âI just⊠Whyâd you even join?â he turned his body and looked at you.
âI felt like it. That shouldnât be a problem to you.â you sternly said, not caring if it came off as ârudeâ anymore.
âIt would. Youâd be bored after three months and leave.â you had the strongest urge to slap him in the face. You? Bored? Like hell you were going to be. Not when you can already foresee the future where heâs going to give you one hell of a nightmare.Â
âAnd then Soobin would have to hand over whatever comprehensible duty he gave over to you and put that on our backs.âÂ
You were more so shocked by his choice of words rather than angry. And currently, you wanted to pour the juice box you had in your hand over his head.
âWell I wonât, So donât hold your breath.â your nails pricked into the cardboard of the juice box you held, trying your hardest not to twitch your face or furrow your eyebrows.
He scoffed with a stupid smirk plastered on his face, shaking his head. Putting his hands into the pockets stitched to his trousers, he walked away from you.Â
âYou're just like the others.â
Heeseung walked away leaving you feeling annoyed as well as frustrated. He was a complete jerk! The reassuring words Karina said to you before was no use now. You were sure he didnât act like this when he first met the broadcasting members. So why was it only to you? But you decided itâs not worth caring anymore. He was just another obstacle in your path to making Beomgyu like you back. So you put aside your hurt feelings and straightened your back with one thing in mind; you were going to make that bastard like you.
Which is what you exactly planned on doing, standing in front of the wooden door, outside the broadcasting room again once again.Â
You swallowed the big knot that rested in your throat and opened the door. To your surprise you saw Heeseung sitting on of the chairs, headphones plastered in while his fingers flipped over the pages of a comic he was reading while bopping his head to the rhythm of whatever geeky music that played through his headphones.
Maybe he didnât hear the door creaking open or maybe he wasnât bothered to look at you, but either way you went and sat in front of him, clearing your throat to make him look up from the comic his eyes were glued to.
You didnât know if it was the awkward tension in the room or you dreading to âapologiseâ to the boy in front of you, but the moment his gaze fixated on you, your heart started beating twice as fast. Maybe it was how pretty his eyes looked with his bangs covering most part of it or how he resembled an innocent bambiâ
âCan I help you?â He spoke up, interrupting your thoughts about him.
âI just wanted to apologise for yesterday, I wasnât meaning to be on edge, but I was kinda nervous with meeting new people and you ofcourse! Not that I mean it in a bad way, I donât think youâre bad or anything I was justââÂ
And then you realised that you were rambling.
In front of Lee Heeseung.
âI was just nervous.â And with that, you ended your lengthy sentence in a mutter.
You waited for Heeseung to look at you, waiting for his response and all you got was a quick sigh before he hummed.
Sorry, were you boring him?
But you did not have time to react as the door busted open with the tall president walking in, followed by Karina, Rei and Jungwon.
âSorry guys, Lia and Taehyun got caught up with stuco meetings, but Karina will catch them up on everything.â He said, as he looked over to Karina, gaining a quick nod from her.
Everyone sat around the table as Soobin took his bulky notebook from his humongous bag that looked like it was filled with rocks. Jeez does this guy have a lot going on.
The meeting started where everyone started conversing and immersing themselves into the topics that the agenda listed. You even made a few suggestions that made the tall president smile at your already hard working attitude.
Which made you smile.
Which made Heeseung scoff.
It wasnât a loud one, but you could definitely hear it from miles away. And even after you apologised! It made no sense, whatsoever.Â
You stopped focusing on the topic at hand and looked over to Heeseung, comfortably sitting on the chair with his legs spread and his arms crossed. Oh wow.
No. You couldnât get carried away from his figure, or whatever his arms were doing to you right now. You were supposed to hate him, right? And right now, you were just kissing his ass, which is what youâre so good at â namely, your best friend pointing that out whenever you went to milk out marks of your biology paper from Mrs. Min.
Of course you didnât mean any of the words that flew out of your mouth when you were doing your so-called apology. It wasnât even your fault! He was the one acting like a jerk! Not you!
But deep under all this anger and your prejudice against him, you had the horrible feeling that he knew why you were here, sitting in an uncomfortable chair with the members of the broadcasting club.Â
And the truth was, he did know. He knew all about your little antics. Heâs not stupid. And heâs not oblivious to see those raging eyes under that sort of cute but fake smile! In all these years of you attending this school against your will, you never spared one look at Heeseung. Your eyes were always and only on Beomgyu. So now why are you trying to befriend him? The one who was always in Beomgyuâs shadow?
Because like everyone else, you liked Beomgyu and your gateway was Heeseung. And it doesnât take much to put two and two together, because it was the perfect plan that was all laid out.Â
âSo everyone is onboard with having a bake sale for the game?â Soobin asked, just to double check with everyone.
He in turn received nods and yeses from the members and brought you back into reality, stopping you from thinking about Heeseungâs cold manners anymore.Â
You quickly nodded your head as well, putting your lips into a line.Â
âKarina, me, Jungwon and Rei can bake the goods, yeah?â He asked for the membersâ approval in which they agreed.
âThen,â He looked down at his notebook and scribbled some writings over it and looked up again, âHeeseung and Y/n would be selling them.â Soobin looked at you and Heeseung. âLia and Taehyun can pop into help from time to time if thatâs alright.â
Did you hear that right?
Your name and ⊠Heeseung!
You tried not to show how your eyes were practically gleaming as you eagerly nodded. Meanwhile, Heeseung was not having it. He sighed like he had just been drafted into war, but nevertheless nodded his head as well, just more slowly compared to yours.
But, this opened new opportunities for you and new doors and each of them ending with Beomgyu, your beloved. You just had to crack through Heeseung first.
It was one of those nights where you had nothing going on in your life. You called Seori, but she was busy getting ready for Yeonjunâs party which well â you were invited to go, but didnât because you were too lazy to get up and get ready.
So you found yourself here, in the comic store your uncle owned, slurping on some instant noodles and reading the latest version of Fuller House. You werenât going to lie, you liked it. You were just sitting on the owner's chair with your bowl filled with noodles on the table and other stuff which were related to the store such as records of the borrowed comics. You bopped your head to the song that the little radio beside you playedâ âCandyâ by H.O.T.
The door to the comic store opened as you heard the bell hanging on it ring. Surely you werenât bothered to look since the scene you were reading was far too interesting and Ryder was far too handsome to take your eyes off him!
âWelcome, please feel free to look around and pick up any of the comics you like. If youâre looking for something specific, let me know.â Although it was supposed to sound enthusiastic, you put in your own twist making it sound like those automated recordings you hear on those phone calls.
You finally looked up to see who the man was when you were going to gobble a mouthful of the tasty ramen you had. You didnât quite see the face of the mystery man that came to him as he was quick to look at the various comics displayed on the shelves in front of you, making his back face you.Â
You saw him pick out a comic book with a cover that you couldnât quite recognize even if you had registered over thousands of comics here. After squinting your eyes a bit, you realised he picked out âDemon Diaryâ.Â
So heâs a nerd.
He turned sideways and to your surprise, it was the devil himselfâLee Heeseung.
âHeeseung?â You said, rather loud.
Due to your shock and his name being yelled in the store, he dropped the comic and looked at you, startledâeven going as far as letting out a cuss word.
âHey man, keep it PG13.â You giggled, seeing his shocked figure, in which he rolled his eyes. âMy Uncleâs at the back.â
âWhat are you doing here?â He asked, still shocked, because you were the last person he wanted to meet right now.
âMe? I work here.â You smirked, âWhat are you doing here?â
âI mean, I've never seen you rent books from here.â You added on.
âI wasâŠjust searching.â
âRight.â You said, smiling.Â
Why is this nerd so awkward?
âYou dropped the book, you know?â You said, looking at the fallen book on the ground.
âRight, sorry.â He muttered, rushing to keep the book back on the shelf which resulted in more books falling due to his clumsy demeanour.Â
âFuck.â Luckily, he caught them just in time and looked at you with the same cold glare he did earlier, but just a bit more awkward and maybe, embarrassed?Â
And just like that he left, rushing out the door.Â
He didnât even say bye.Â
How rude.Â
From that day onwards, he felt more awkward around you. You just didnât know why. Everytime it was your turn in the roster to announce the morning announcements in the broadcasting room, he had nothing but an emotionless expression and a thumbs up when recording it while you sat in the studio. The other days felt even weirder as you tried to talk to him, but he was quick to go in the other direction. Your head thinks that he avoided you out of embarrassment, but it still left an uneasy feeling in your stomach.
âHeâs just so weird!â You said to your best friend while plopping onto your bed.
She was currently sitting on your vanity with a bunch of makeup brushes spread around the table and countless amounts of eyeshadow palettes opened. Apparently, she was practising to âenhanceâ her looks to impress her new boytoyâSunghoon.
One of the players on the football team alongside your Beomgyu.
Seori just hummed along to your rambles about Heeseung. Well she did care, but God how long can a person hear her best friends rant about the same guy for over an hour.
âAnd you know what he did?â You abruptly said, sitting up from your bed, âHe just went! Without even apologising!â
âFor what?â Seori asked, looking at you through the reflection in your vanity mirror with furrowed eyebrows.
âFor his bitchy attitude.â You just had the urge to roll your eyes to the back of your head with the way Heeseung had been acting.
âOh, only if I could punch him in the face.â You sighed.
âJust leave it Y/n. And I mean this whole thing. It took you whatâso many months for your plan to talk to this Beomgyu boy and now what? All youâve gotten is nowhere. Just move on, babe.â She said, while leaning into the mirror to apply her mascara.Â
âSeori, Beomgyu is not just some boy. And actually, itâs taken me only weeks for this Heeseung plan. Heâs just cold. Thatâs it. Karina said that he takes time to warm up to people so I think if I get past this stage I could really be friends with him.â You justified your plan, which Seori might call you a bit (a lot) delusional for.
âAlright, Y/n.â Seori sighed, âWhatever you say.â She turned around to look at you.
âIâm just saying, be careful.â Seori said, concern laced on her expressions, âThings don't always go the way you want it to. Just go with the flow.â She smiled.
âWow, when did you take philosophy classes?â You said, having an amazed expression for sarcasm.
She rolled her eyes as she took out her eyeliner on the table, âNow, come here. You know you do my eyeliner the best.â She said, smiling.
You rolled your eyes playfully and stood up to go towards your best friend, taking the eyeliner from her hands and starting to carefully draw lines at the bottom of her eyelid.
Your best friend was practically the opposite of you. While she finds a new man every week, youâve been hung over the same guy for the past four years. But having her here and listening to all your rants about him and his rude (but cute) best friend is something that you wouldnât trade for the world.
As tomorrow was the big day for the game, you were determined to win Heeseungâs friendship as a way to Beomgyuâs heart.
Finally, after what felt like forever, the day you anticipated the most arrived. You looked at yourself in the vanity mirror and tightened your slicked back pigtails tired by hair ties with small bows on them.Â
You were determined to somehow crack that little arrogant bastardâMr. Lee Heeseung.
So you packed everything you needed and headed to the stadium which you found out was filled with hundreds of teenagers and teachers patrolling the stadium, looking like they had been tasked with finding the cure to cancer.
Oh was it a sight to see. You could smell the freshly watered grass and hear loud chatters of people conversing with each otherâsome even yelling. A sweet melody flowed into your eyes through the humongous speakers situated around the stadium. You were going to love today.
You quickly tried to find Seori and lo and behold, there she was, situated in between Sunghoonâs arms as Sunghoon whispered into Seoriâs ear and her later laughing like it was the funniest thing that was ever said.
You ran up to them, waving Seori and Sunghoon as wellâalthough youâve never even spoken to him.
âAh, my girl is here.â She squealed as she broke free from Sunghoonâs grasp and hugged you tightly.
You awkwardly hugged Seori back, trying to catch your breath from her tight grip while saying hello to Sunghoon who was smiling at the scene.
âYou look adorable.â Seori mumbled to your ear, âSo adorable that Beomgyu might fall for you the moment he sees you.â
You couldn't help but slap on a big smile after your best friend said that. âYou think so?â You asked, touching one of your pigtails in which she nodded in return.
Sunghoon on the other hand was called out by Jake, his friend and teammate, âBabeâI mean, Seori, I have to go. Coach is asking for us to meet at the locker room.â
âOh right.â Seori giggled as she quickly kissed Sunghoon on the cheek and waved him âGoodbyeâ after saying that sheâll cheer him on.
Cuties.
Except that could be Beomgyu and you right now, but the universe apparently hated you.
âSo, new boyfriend?â You wiggled your eyes at the blushing girl in front of you.
âNo!â She exclaimed, âWe just, I donât know.â Seori mumbled.
âWell, if you want him; you need to date him, fast!â You warned Seori, âI just saw him with Wonyoung not long ago. And I donât know, she looks like she really likes him.â You said.
âWhat?!â She yelled.
âDonât worry,â You laughed at her furious, but cute expression, âWith the way you kissed him he looks like heâs a goner.â
âHeeseung looks it too.â
âWhat?â You spaced out.
Why is his name being mentioned?
Suddenly all the emotion in your face drained away, like you couldnât give two fucks about the boy that had it against you.
âHe looked like he was two seconds away from a heart attack when he looked at you.â
âWhat? You saw him?â You questioned, looking around to find the rude boy.
âYes, you know the bakesale is like the opposite of where weâre standing right?â She lowered her head asking for confirmation.
âOh.â
Does he think Iâm pretty?
But then you remember what Seori said. The bake sale.
âOh shit, I have to go.â You abruptly said.
You and Seori parted ways after saying âGoodbyeâ and you headed to the bakesale with a man standing behind the table of baked goodies.
Heeseung was preparing the goods as he aligned them perfectly, keeping the doughnuts next to the brownies and so on.
You soon caught on and went behind the table to do what he was doing.
âThatâs new.â He mumbled.
You were shocked that he even talked to you.
But, hey. At Least he made your plan a bit easier.
âWhat is?â You asked in confusion.
âYour hair.â He said, not even sparing one look at you and keeping his focus on taking out the baked goods out of the trays next to him.
âYeah, I tried something different today.â You smiled, thankful that he noticed your hairstyle.
âYou look like a dork.â He simply said, as he went away taking the empty trays to wherever he was off to.
That bitch.
So he doesnât think Iâm cute?!
Your mouth was left open as you processed what he said.Â
As if he looks good.
Well, he does.
But thatâs not the point!
Your eyebrows furrowed as you let out a huff, leaving a pout on your face. You didnât let his stupid comment affect your whole mood so you just continued with doing your tasks as his words went to the back of your head.
Heeseung and you continued to sell various types of cakes and other baked goods while you took a little bite from one of the chocolate doughnuts that was eyeing you the entire time. And you swore, you could see Heeseung subtly smiling at your cute actions from the corner of your eye.Â
Soon after, the bakesale was long forgotten as everyone focused on the game and the star of the team, Choi Beomgyu. He skillfully passed the members of the opposing team with the ball tangled around his feet. The team needed one more goal to win the entire thing and time was not on their side.
Beomgyu had two minutes left on the clock to somehow magically kick the football into the goal. And just before you knew it, the crowd went crazy, screaming for their new championâChoi Beomgyu.
He successfully saved the entire team by winning in the last moment and you adored the way his proud smile never left his handsome face even once.Â
Heeseung beside you was cheering for his best friend when he won. You couldnât help but smile at his excited expression which was a rare sight to see. He soon ran to Beomgyu and hugged him as he praised the ace of the team. Soon chants of Beomgyuâs name echoed throughout the stadium.
Ah, were you proud of your future boyfriend.Â
Maybe this was your chance. A chance to finally talk to him. Since no one was at the stall as they were all focused on the ace in the middle of the stadium that was sitting on someone's neck as people chanted his name, you thought to bring him a bottle of water. Maybe even compliment his football skills (even if you didnât know shit about football).
You took an unopened water bottle from one of the boxes and when you looked at the stadium again, the crowd seemed to move. Fuck, you couldnât lose him!
You started searching as people started to leave the stadium while some were idling around the benches taking pictures with their Fotoman cameras. The crowd was still very much alive, just the reason for it was missing. Could he have disappeared that fast?
You scanned the grounds one last time and at the corner of your eye, you saw a pathway which led to the boysâ locker room. Well, you had to do what you had to do.
So now, you were standing in the middle of the empty boys locker room with a little water bottle in your hand and the desperation pouring through your eyes to find the star of the day.Â
But lo and behold, you found his trusty sidekick. And you wanted to laugh, because of the shriek he just let out which led you to think that this was a bit familiar to the situation you were in a few days ago.Â
âWhat the hell are you doing in here? You perv!â He whispered, shouted and looked around and back at you with a glare shooting right at you.
âHey! Iâm not a perv! I was just looking for Beomgyu to give him some waterââ But before you could finish your speech, Beomgyu and a group of guys were heard coming into the locker room which obviously you couldn't hear as you were too busy defending yourself.
âWhat! Hey! What are you doing?â You almost shouted as Heeseung pulled you into one of the showers and covered your mouth with his somewhat sweaty palms.Â
And now, it was just you pressed against Heeseung's chest as his hand involuntarily found his way to your waist to create more space in this uncomfortably tiny shower that could clearly fit only one person.
âWhoâs the perv now?â You whispered to yourself, looking away from him, but also internally freaking out that he was so close to you.
Maybe if you were some other girl like Minji from fourth period who could not stop rambling on about Heeseung or maybe the lunch lady that always looked at him with a smile and gave him extra chicken, you would be a puddle.
But youâre not, or so you think that way. Yet you couldnât deny the quickened beats of your heart which you hoped that Heeseung couldnât hear given that your chest was literally against his.Â
You heard Beomgyu outside talking with some other players in his team about the match which made you smile. But you swore that you could see Heeseung rolling his eyes at your expression which honestly you couldn't care less, but to give him a quick punishment, you thought it would be fun to pinch his stomach where your hand was currently pressed against.
Seeing his shushed pained expression and his glare at you only made you smirk even more, but your little feud was quickly sent away as Beomgyuâs ongoing conversation got you distracted.Â
âYou shouldâve seen the girls!â One of the football players said, âGod, they were so hot! I almost missed a shot because of them!â He drooled.
Gross.
âYeah, especially that Seori girl.â The other boy said.
Seori? As in my âYoon Seoriâ? My best friend?
âFuck, she was hot.â Beomgyu spoke up.
And at that instant, all the colour on your face drained away. You knew most boys always had a weird way of talking about girls, but you never expected your best friendâs name to be passed around like this, especially by your crush. Your pout only increased when you heard them talk even further and you felt a lump in your throat. This cannot be happening.
âYeah, but isnât she with Park Sunghoon? I saw them kissing and shit.âÂ
âAwh fuck me, I was going to ask her out.â Beomgyu half heartedly laughed at his missed chance.
So he knew who you wereâgiven that you were always with Seoriâand he was going to ask her out and not you.
Ouch.
You inhaled slowly, trying to not let your tears fall out as you forgot about the male that was beside you who was watching every expression that came out of your face.Â
Heeseung didnât know why, but he didnât like seeing your face all sad and mushy. Every time he saw you, you were always giggly or mad at him or trying to put on a fake smile just to get closer to him. But heâs never seen this. And he did not like it, even though he didnât know why.Â
And without thinking, he pulled you closer to him.
Hugging you tight.
You were more shocked than sad as you looked at him. You let out a gasp as he held you tight against his chest and your heart skipped around four or five beats. He wasnât looking at you though. In fact, he looked at anything else or than you, since all of a sudden, the soap that was lying on the soap dish looked very interesting.Â
He looked very, very redââfrom the tip of his forehead to the bits of his neck that was covered by his t-shirt, he was red. His pointy ears that were peaking out were red, his cheeks were tinted with a rosy colour and you couldnât miss out on how his adams apple bobbed as he took the biggest gulp ever!
But, why did you like it?
You shouldnât.
You liked the man who was outside the shower.
Wait, is this his way of trying to comfort me?
Thatâs actually kinda sweeââGuys! Come outside! Coach wants to take photos!â One of the members that barged into the locker room yelled before all the soccer players scurried away and went outside the room and onto the stadium.
You could finally let out the breath you were holding in. But Heeseung already shoved you aside and threw himself outside the shower.Â
You still couldnât speak of what just happened, but Heeseung was quick to fill in the gap of silence.
âWe sold enough stuff today, right?â He said, rubbing his pants against his jeans as he looked anywhere but you.
You blinked out of your dazed zone and looked at the nervous boy, âI think sââ
âGreat! Okay, Iâll go and start cleaning up.â He said, as he interrupted you before leaving the room.
What just happened?
You should probably tell Seori.
She deserves to know, right?
âY/n, whatâs that big head of yours thinking?â Seori pouted as she put her arm around your shoulder.
Damn, she saw right through you.
You honestly didnât know what you were thinking or who you were thinking of. When you paint a picture you see Beomgyu and his pretty locks of hair falling right in front of his eyes, his boyish smile and spark in his eyes
But
Next to him, you saw Heeseung.
Heeseung who has his forehead shown and his stupid locks which parted it, that stupid twinkle in his eyes which you wish you could gauge out and his slight smile forcibly lighting up that spark in you
Now you were stuck, stuck in between two of these boys. You definitely liked Beomgyu! Right? Thatâs what you keep repeating in your head, but the lines slowly blur as Heeseungâs name enters your head which makes you go into a spiral.
âY/n?âÂ
âHm?â You snap out of your thoughts and look at your best friend with the eyes that resembled a lost bambi.Â
âYou okay?â She asked, with genuine concern.
âYeah, sorry.â You laughed it off, âIâm just tired from that soccer match.âÂ
âRight.â She dragged the word while looking at you suspiciously.Â
âIâm fine Seori, I mean you would be too after selling around a hundred cupcakes.â You laughed, trying to change the topic.
But lo and behold, the universe was against you once again because as soon as you finished talking, you saw the boy that you were stuck in the showers with yesterday.
The pace of the students walking through the halls seemed to slow down. Everything else felt blurry except for him, the boy that hugged you tight yesterday. The usual hustle slowly faded into the background, leaving the world feeling slightly out of focusâat least to you. To your surprise, he looked even more handsome than he did yesterday. Wait, was he glowing?! Your mouth was agape as you intently fixed your gaze on him.
âY/n! Snap out of it!â Your best friend brings your focus back to where you were.
âHuh?âÂ
Seoriâs gaze followed on where your eyes were previously set on and it ended on Heeseungâs stoic face. A series of âohâs left her mouth as she looked at you, wiggling her eyebrows.
âI knew you would move on!â She squealed, locking her arms with yours.
Did you?
âSeori, I think youâre mistaken. I was justââÂ
âDonât lie, Y/n. I know that stare when I see it.â She fixed a teasing smile on her face.
âSeori, thereâs nothing going on.â
You couldnât deny the fact that Her words hit you hard. Have you really moved on from Beomgyu? Just a few seconds ago, you were thinking about him.Yet, you couldnât seem to shake off the feeling of Heeseung lingering above your thoughts laced with Beomgyu.Â
âYou canât deny that you weren't just drooling for Heeseung. Not Beomgyu.âÂ
You shook your head, trying to clear your thoughts. "I don't know, Seori. It's...complicated."
Her eyebrows furrowed as a sign for you to elaborate, but you debated on whether telling what happened on the day of the soccer match and what you heard from Beomgyu.
âItâs just really complicated.â Was all you could say, âDonât worry about it!â You forced your lips into a tight smile which in turn Seori let out a sigh and continued walking as you both tried shaking off the conversation you just had.Â
Was it really though? You just may find Heeseung a tiny bit attractive after he allegedly hugged you tight in the showersâalthough not knowing it was intentional, you still very much like Beomgyu who wanted to ask your best friend out! Not that complicated, right? Maybe you found Heeseung a bit cute and maybe not much of a jerk like he showed you to be, especially when he hugged you, revealing he was more than just a cold facade. But what you couldnât seem to ignore was how your heart flipped seeing his features in the crowd as his bambi eyes shone while his heart shaped lips formed into a pout as he talked with the other students.
Nonetheless, a little touching here and there and a confused bundle of feelings wasnât going to derail your plan. You were determined to get this to work no matter what. And plus you were very loyal to your man. You think so.
That night, a suffocating silence forcefully clung to the air as Heeseung sat on the dinner table with his parents, the atmosphere always carrying a sense of thick tension whenever his parents were around. He sat next to his brother while his parents were seated across him, boring their eyes onto him with a stern look. With the silence they gave him, Heeseung felt a tight knot into his stomach that felt like it would burst any minute.Â
The only sound that could be heard was the spoons and forks clanking against the dinner plates while the fanâs motor could be heard throughout the room. Although the smell of home cooked japchae filled the room, Heeseung hardly touched his food as he just poked his food with his fork. His father broke the awkward silence first,
As the silence of the man sitting in front of him spoke volumes, he was first to break the silence, âSon, how did the maths test you had last week go?â Heeseungâs father inquired while staring at him.
âI got a seventy.âÂ
Heeseung knew he fucked up. The young boy couldnât help but shrink under his fatherâs scrutinising gaze. His cheeks held a hot shade of red as he looked at all the food scattered on his plate. He knew that what was about to come was another lecture from his fatherâs mouth and small scoldings from his mother as well.
âSeventy? Heeseung what have I told you?â His fatherâs voice grew stern.
âHonestly, what the absolute hell are you doing with your life? Last time it was an eighty, and I let it slip because maybe you werenât doing well. But now I think youâre just lazy,â His father scoffed, âWhy canât you be more like your brother? Look, all his scores are above ninety and thatâs all I ask from you.â He said, pointing at the younger boy sitting beside Heeseung with his fork.
Heeseung didnât even bother looking at his brother, knowing all he could return was a guilty and pitiful face. Honestly, why couldnât he be more like him?
âStop spending time with those useless cameras of yours and actually focus on your studies!â Heeseung flinched at the sudden rise of voice from his father which he hated to admit that it affected him.
âTheyâre not just cameras, Dad,â Heeseung mumbled, gulping the dry knot stuck in his throat.
âWhat was that? Yeah right, as if cameras are going to help you excel in your studies,â He scoffed once again. âMaybe itâs that Beomgyu boy that you hang out so much with. That boy is nothing but a negative influence on you.â He spat.
And that was the first time where he finally looked his father in the eye now as Heeseung finally looked up from his plate and shot back the same nasty glare his father gave him, âDonât call him that.â
âI see, now heâs more important to you than your own family. So what if I call him that, then what?â He provoked Heeseung.
Heeseung knew if he acted up, the consequences would be worse. He looked at his mother for any sign of help, but all she did was stare into her plate in fear of getting scolded by Heeseungâs father as well. Not being able to handle the situation anymore, Heeseung stood up from the dining table and left the house, not caring about the shouts that came from his fatherâs mouth.
The only thing that came out of your mouth was quiet snores. You were sleeping again after promising your mother you just needed a five minute nap afterschool which resulted in six hours of sleep, resulting in the time being seven pm now.
The door abruptly opened showing your older brother shouting at you trying to wake you up, âY/n! Come on! Get up!â
âWhat the hell! What do you want?â You asked in a groggy voice, your eyes still closed.
âGo buy me some ramen.â He simply said.
If you had the power right now to strangle your brother to death, his soul would be on the stairway to hell right now.
âFuck off!â You said as you hid yourself under your comfortable sheets.
Your brother in turn grabbed the sheets leaving you cold, âGo right now.â He said while throwing you some notes of money.
âOr what?â You provoked him, your hands rubbing against your arms to keep you warm.
âIâm telling everyone that a certain someone came home from school, crying because they wet their pants in eighth grade.â Your brother said in a sing-songy voice and a cheeky smile.
Your eyes shot open and you looked like you could kill him in five different ways. Because not only was he blackmailing you right nowâŠbut it was also in fact true.
Before you could chase him, he ran out the door, closing it shut after yelling what flavour of ramen he wanted.
âUgh!â You growled at your peaceful sleep being interrupted by your annoying brother and his tasks.
You thought it was now a good time to wash your face and get rid of the way your bed was calling your name and looked more attractive than ever. Rolling your eyes, you wore your favourite red and white striped sweater and grabbed the money from your bed and left the house, flipping your brother on the way out.
You stepped on onto the chilly streets of Seoul and walked through the concrete roads to the nearest seven-eleven you could find. The walk wasnât that long yet you felt like the sleep was getting to you from the way you felt already exhausted by the five minute walk.Â
You walked into the store getting whatever ramen your brother liked and an ice cream for yourself to reward you for the hard work that you did now.
As you licked onto the vanilla flavoured ice cream, you were on your way back home while the chill breeze ran through your legs. Fuck, I shouldnât have worn shorts.
And now that you think about it, you were only here because of your stupid older brother. With the amount of laziness he had in him, you had a hard time finding accepting the fact that the couch potato thatâs probably sleeping in your bed got into a good university and actually has a life.
Oh how you could strangle your brother right now for his lazy bum. Only if you could have one day with him, heâd be scrambled eggs by now. Oh only if you coulâÂ
âOuch!â You winced as you suddenly trip onto the ground, bruising your knee. Luckily, your ice cream was still intact, though its liquid melted onto your skin, dripping down your hands.
âThe Gods hate me today!â You whined as you looked at your ankle in pain, âMy poor knee.â
You looked up to find a place to at least sit so the pain would go off. To your surprise you found a nearby park which you used to visit all the time when you were a kid. You crossed the street and entered the park lit with rusty street lights.Â
Wait a minuteâŠ
As you walked into the park, you saw a male figure sitting on one of the swings while his back was hunched.Â
That hoodie looks too familiarâŠ
And then it clicked. That hoodie was the one Beomgyu wore when he went on one of the class trips. As much as it was a rare sight to see him attending these class trips instead of skipping them, you vividly remember it because that was one of the few times where you actually talked to him.Â
So you slowly went towards the figure, acting like you didnât know who he was just so you could sit on the swing next to him with the excuse of having hurt your knee.
As you slowly approached the male figure, you could kind of make out his face shape and then you realised that it wasn't Beomgyu at all.
âHeeseung?âÂ
You saw him flinch at the surprising sound and his eyes shot wide open to look at you, âWhat the hell? You scared me, woman.â He said, trying to calm down.
Much to your surprise, another one of your failed attempts.
Heeseung looked at the ice cream in one hand that was already melted and the ramen that was in your plastic bag in the other. His gaze then slowly went towards your bleeding knee.Â
But you didnât take his observation to note as you huffed while throwing your already melted ice cream into one of the garbage cans nearby and sitting down on the swing next to him, placing your plastic bag with a ramen packet inside on the ground, wiping your ice cream coated hands onto your sweater.
âWhat the hell did you do to your knee?â He inquired, a rough tone escaping from his mouth.
âI fell down.â You mumbled as you unconsciously pouted.
âAnd youâre not going to do anything about it?â He asked, amazed by the fact that youâre not bothered at your literal bleeding knee.Â
âI donât want to walk all the way back to get a stupid band aid.â You sighed, looking down.
Heeseung felt uneasy by the sight of your state where you looked like you gave up. He let out a sigh and probably a curse to what you could hear and got up, âWait here.â He said as he left the park.
Your eyes looked up at the boy who slowly disappeared into the dark, wondering where he went. But you didnât care anyways. Maybe Seori was right, you could never be able to get close to Beomgyu. Even the Gods are against it. Your pout came out even more as you thought about it even more.Â
As you looked through the park, your childhood memories fluttered open as you remembered the numerous amount of times you played Hide and Seek with Seori or the endless amount of ways you managed to trip on the grass and form a new bruise somewhere where your mother always made a fuss about.
You sighed and glanced at your bleeding knee. You winced at the burning sensation it gave you and the sight of fresh blood splattered on your knee making you cringe as you had a trickling urge to wipe it all off from your sweater, but you knew better than that. You wondered if Heeseung would stick to his words and actually come backÂ
Just as the thought of the young boy entered your mind, you heard the sound of footsteps approaching you. You looked up to see Heeseung returning, holding a small first aid kit in one hand and a bottle of water in the other. A wave of relief washed over you as you released the breath that you didnât realise that you had been holding.
Without saying another word, he got down on one knee and opened the first aid kit. He took the small piece of soft cotton and started to clean your wound. Next, he took some antibacterial cream and applied it onto your fresh wound.
A hiss came out of your mouth as your leg jerked away from his touch. He looked up with a stoic expression on his face, âStay still.â He commanded.
Your pout quickly went away as his hand came into contact with your leg as he tried to hold it for a better grip, his touch being surprisingly gentle. You gulped as you looked away from the sight. He was being too kind for your liking. You were surprised that he didnât walk away the moment he saw you.
After patching your wound up with a bandaid, he got up, taking the water bottle that was on the ground, and you looked up at him, searching for an answer as to why he did something that was so out of character for him.
âA thank you would be nice,â He scoffed but the confused look made him sort of understand what you were thinking, âI just... hate seeing blood.â
He gave you the water bottle. âYou should be more careful, dork.â
You hesitantly took the water bottle from his hand and mumbled a thank you for the water bottle and disinfecting your wound from your clumsy fall earlier while he returned to his empty seat on the swing set.Â
It had been a few moments since you both went back to silence and a few gulps from the water bottle Heeseung gave you for you to finally break the silence, âSo why are you here?â
You turned your head around to face Heeseung who kept staring at the scenery of the park, âNeeded some fresh air.â
âMm, sometimes I need some too, but I go to the Han River. Itâs more peaceful there,â you said, trying to keep the conversation light.
âYeah, well, do I look like I can go there now?â Heeseung said, his voice sounding snarky and sharper than you expected.
You smiled sheepishly, understanding the given circumstances, âRight, sorry.â
Heeseung sighed, he could see your smile from the corner of his eyes. He looked down to his hands resting on his lap, âNo, Iâm sorry. I didnât mean to⊠lash out on you like that.â He mumbled.
âI get it I guess⊠I guess we all have those days.â You said, turning back to view the comforting landscape in front of you. âI used to be worse. I once smacked my brother across the face because he breathed too loud.â
A snort surprisingly came out of Heeseungâs mouth. âAre you implying that smacking you might help?â
âWell not me! Violence does not help, but if itâs on my brother⊠then Iâd disagree.â You giggled, remembering the memory of your brother sobbing to your mother with a red strike across his face.
A soft smile found its way on Heseungâs face and this was probably the first and few times you actually saw him smile. The problem was, you didnât know why, but you liked it. A lot. And you wanted to keep doing whatever you could to keep that smile on his face.
Gosh! Get a grip, Y/n!
You both fell into a somewhat comfortable silence before you decided to change the subject again. âWhen I was a kid, I used to come to this park all the time,â you began speaking, your eyes wandering around the familiar surroundings of your memories spent here. âSeori and I would play hide and seek, and Iâd always manage to trip over something and end up with a new bruise. My mom would make such a fuss about it.â
Heeseung intently listened. He found it comforting that he could just sit there and here you talk without finding it annoying. This surprised him, what was he doing? Wasnât he supposed to hate you?
âOh right there!â You pointed to one of the bushes, âI fell down on a birdâs nest there. I spent the entire ride home sobbing because I sat on some of the eggs and it.. broke.â You mumbled at the end, feeling embarrassed. âI couldnât sleep that night so I went back the next day and made a birdhouse for that poor mama bird.â You said, a pout unconsciously showing up at your lips.
Even though you were currently going through your past memories and spilling your countless stories to Heeseung, all you could hear from him was silence. You started to wonder if you were talking too much, if maybe he wanted some peace and quiet. Just as you were about to apologise, your pager beeped loudly, snapping you out of your thoughts.
You glanced at it and realised it was your brother. âOh, shit. I need to get back,â you said, standing up and wincing at the pain in your knee. You picked up the plastic bag from the ground.
You looked back at Heeseung and awkwardly cleared your throat, wondering if you were on terms to bid each other Goodbye, but before you could form a sentence Heeseung beat you to it, âOpen your eyes when youâre walking and don't fall again, dork.â
You playfully rolled your eyes realising he was back to his old Heeseung self and left the park, heading towards your home. As you limped back, you couldnât help but feel like maybe, just maybe, youâd managed to make him feel a little better.
Heeseung watched you limp out of the park, a soft laugh escaping him at the sight of your awkward struggle. A small smile tugged at his lips as he watched you go. He felt a bit lighter, thanks to you, though heâd never admit that.
Waking up with a bruise was never a good way to start your morning. You took off the thick blanket that covered you. As you felt the dull ache on your knee, the unexpected meetup with Heeseung rushed back to your head when that was the reason why you tossed and turned at night, trying to get a wink of sleep.Â
The thought of the boy never left your mind, wondering where you stood with Heeseung, hoping that yesterday may make Heeseung warm up to you, but a part of you wanted Heeseung to keep you at arms distance for the fear of something you couldnât quite grasp onto.Â
But you settled on keeping Heeseung as a part of your plan and maybe even a friend after you start dating Beomgyu. Right?
Oh right, BeomgyuâŠ
The chestnut haired boy raced back to your mind, strengthening your feelings for him. Though, you still didnât know why the thought settled weirdly in your stomach.Â
You brushed it off and started to get ready for school, you were determined that today would be the day that you get your pawn Heeseung to finally act according to your genius plan.Â
After a quick shower and trying to make yourself decent for school, you headed out the door, slightly limping but still excited and a hundred percent sure that he would agree if you buttered up enough to him.
As hours passed, the day was going pretty well while you zoomed through the classes with ease. And now, you found yourself standing in that familiar spot, outside the broadcasting room, a few minutes before the usual meeting would start since you knew that Heeseung was always the first one to be there.
What a loser!Â
A kinda cute one too maybeâŠ
Wait! Fuckâ
âY/n?â A voice came from behind you, a familiar one.
âHeeââ You turned around to see the boy towering over you, the gap between you being very close.
You froze after seeing how close he was to you, âI-I was actually going to talk to youâ youâre here?â
âGuess you beat me to it.â He said, taking his hand out of his pocket and turning the knob on the door resting next to you, his side view being very clear to you.
Shit.
He opened the door and you silently thanked yourself that you weren't leaning against it and quickly scooted to the side to give him some space to walk through the room. He took his seat at the very end of the roomâ his usual seat. You walked in slowly, closed the door behind you, and took a seat in the chair across from him.
âI was going to sayââ
âCan I ask you something?â He spoke up.
His sudden question caught you off guard, âYeâyeah go ahead.â
âWhat exactly are you trying to do?â
You furrowed your eyebrows at his peculiar question, your head tilting to the side in confusion. âWhat do you mean?â
âI mean, why are you trying to be friends with me?â
âOh.â An odd silence formed between you two. âI just wanted toââ
âYou never even looked at me before, so why join the broadcasting club, talk to me, try to get close to me? I just want to know why notice me now?â
You contemplated on saying that it had something to do with a boy named Beomgyu but you swallowed that response down your throat, knowing howâd his future response look like. Your sudden confidence at the beginning of your day faltered, making it shred into tiny little pieces. All you could do was open your mouth a bit and gulp nervously then look down at your hands resting on your lap.
Heeseung noticed your sudden nervous behaviour so all his thoughts came out into one statement, âYou like him.â
Your eyes widened and looked straight at him.Â
So he knew.
Heeseung only scoffed, the pieces of your plan finally laying out perfectly to him, âAnd you're trying to get close to me so you can what? Talk to him?âÂ
All you could do was look down and nod slightly. Was it that obvious?
Another scoff could be heard from Heeseung as he stood up from his chair, clearly not wanting to be near you.
You stood up, âHeeseung, wait!â He stopped in his tracks, yet his back was still facing you.
âI have liked Beomgyu before I could even process what the word like had really meant. And gosh, I tried everything in the book and heck everything I could do to even get close to him. Nothing worked! Please justâ this is my last hope as silly as it sounds, but Iâm really desperate here. Just help me out a bit, because I don't think I can sleep at night knowing I didnât try. I swear iâll even stop talking to you if he rejects meââ
âYou talk a lot.â He finally turned around to face you, âBut that little monologue of yours got you nowhere.â
You walked towards him, knowing this literally could be your one last shot at this plan. âHeeseungâŠâ
But something struck you as if a bulb just lit up in your head.
Gotcha!
âYou know, youâd really hate it if you found out what happened in 'Demon Diary' without reading it, right?â You said, sneakily coming up to him.
âRight..â He said hesitantly, not sure what trick you had up your sleeve.
âIf you were to help me, then youâd have the pleasure of reading it without spoilers like Raenef being the next demon loââ As you were about to finish, his hand came in contact with your mouth to shut you up.
Your eyes widened again and your heart rate fastened for nth time. He was so close to you, his hand feeling warm against your skin. Nothing was to be heard from the both of you until Heeseung realised how close you both were which made him gulp, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down.
He slowly lowered his hand and took it off your mouth, âI want volume one.â
âDeal.â
One thing you've known about Heeseung was that he loved working with cameras. From school events to casual hangouts, he always had his camera hanging around his neck, clicking a picture of anything that piqued his interest.Â
So of course, he was assigned by the broadcasting club to take the pictures of students on this field trip to see the flowers at the Musimcheon Cherry Blossom Festival and sent the new girlâaka youâto assist him, which you happily obliged.Â
On the way to the field while you were in the bus, you took out your essentials to hopefully butter him up; banana milk. It always does the trick when you want something, and to your luck it was his favourite drink too!
âWoah! Is that for me?â Seori who was seated next to you pouted, trying to take the banana milk out of your hand, but you were quick to swat her hand away.
âNo! Itâs for Heeseung.â You mumbled with a pout.
âOh! I get it now.â She wiggled her eyebrows at you in a teasing manner not knowing you wanted to rip them out.
âStop! Itâs not like that,â You said with furrowed eyebrows trying to defend yourself, âItâs so I can kiss ass and get close with Beomgyu!â
âNo way L/n Y/n just said that.â She said with a breathy laugh.Â
âYou gotta do what you gotta do.â You said, stretching your arms a bit with a smile on your face.
Seori rolled her eyes at your justification, âOh by the way, you still with your boy toy?â You snickered while elbowing Seori.
âHeâs not my boy toy! Itâs just complicated.â She muttered, shyly.
âHmm, isnât that what you said for Jaeyun, Minhyun, Sojun andââ
âOh my gosh stop! Youâre making me look like a player!â She whined, hitting you on the side, âIâm actually serious about Sunghoon, I really like him.âÂ
âWoah!â You turned to the side. âThat I never heard, Iâm impressed he managed to wrap you around his finger like that.â You said, nodding your head, impressed by how in love she looked but youâd never say it out loud since you knew sheâd drag you to the pits of hell.
Seori never really liked relationshipsâheck! youâre surprised that sheâs been your best friend for this long. She usually has casual and lowkey situationships as you like to call it, but seeing her with Sunghoon actually gave you hope that you might experience her having her first real boyfriend instead of her running away from her potential love interests.Â
âYeah whatever.â She rolled her eyes at your comment. âAt Least Iâm not the girl thatâs been crushing on a guy for three years and hasn't made a move yet!â
âHey! I am making one! Itâs just a really slow move.â You tried to defend yourself.
Hopefully that move does work if Heeseung actually abides by your plan. So when you arrived there, the first thing you did was to search for Heeseung. Luckily, it didnât take that much time as you found him in the middle of the field setting up the essential equipment needed for capturing some moments on the trip. You headed towards him, calling out his name making his bambi eyes drift towards you.
As you were near him, you reached out to your school bag and took out the comic he had set his eyes on, âYou need to return it on Monday.
He silently thanked you while he nodded while you were still rummaging in your bag, âHere.â
You handed out a tiny bottle of banana milk to him, âJungwon said you liked it, so.â
Heeseung blinked in surprise before he pursed his lips. He took the milk into his hand and turned around to put the comic and the milk into his bag, hiding his smile at the cute gesture from you.
The boy cleared his throat and started adjusting the settings for the camera while you rested your hand against the stand, your chin leaning on top of it, pouting in search for Beomgyu.
Once your eyes finally set on him talking to his friends, your eyes became a lot more dreamy and your once faltered feelings bounced back, strong as ever.Â
âNo girlfriend, right?â You muttered, still looking at Beomgyu.
âNo.â
âThen what type of girls?â
âI donât know, maybe Sim Eunha?â Heeseung answered, now recording bits of students socialising.
âOh, so like someone innocent?â You said, taking out a notebook from your bag to record his likes, âThatâs alright.â
âFavourite movie?â
âArmageddon.â
âOh?â You smiled while writing it down, âMine too.â
âFuture major in college?âÂ
âTheatre and film of journalism and broadcasting.â
âOh,â You wrote down the words he said quickly, âSo he wants to be famous because heâs handsome?â You mumbled.
âNo,â Heeseung stated, âI just like working with cameras.â
Wait a minute.
You looked up from your small notebook and processed his words. Is he really talking about himself? Your head shot towards the taller boy next to you with furrowed eyebrows.Â
âWhat?â You exclaimed, âThis isn't about you! Iâm asking about Beomgyu.â You said as you slightly hit his arm which made him wince a bit. âIf I have to get close to him, I need to know what he likesâŠAnd besides, why would I ask what you like anyways.â
âSuch a dork.â Heeseung scoffed as he looked at your sulky face, âCome here, Soobin sent us both on this trip. You should record as well!âÂ
You rolled your eyes at the sight of Heeseung setting up his camera on the stand for more stability. You reluctantly but quickly put your pencil and your little notebook in the small pocket of your bag. His eyes averted to you as a signal to come closer which you obliged to.
âPut your eye here,â He pointed at the camera, guiding you to the cameraâs viewfinder. âThis is the zoom in button and hereâs zoom out.â He showed you the necessary buttons needed, âDon't zoom in too much.â He nagged quietly.Â
Heeseung slowly guided your hand to the zoom in button and slid it down to the zoom out button. His way of teaching you around his camera felt gentle and soothing, like you could listen to him talk about his cameras all day. His gentle touch and the proximity between you two made your heart feel like it was in a marathon.Â
âHit record.â He instructed and so you did.
You zoomed in on a few places with students chattering and at the scenery of the field and as well as the sky.Â
âHm, youâre doing surprisingly well.â He said, quietly. Way to ruin the moment if there even was one.
You froze at how close you two were where you could hear his heartbeat. It felt so comforting for some reason. You could listen to his deep breaths next to you as he guided you to record some of the scenery. But this also set off many alarms in your head, screaming at you.
What are you doing!?
Your breathing felt unsteady and awfully loud to you, to the point where you thought Heeseung could hear you.
âOkay I got it.â You muttered, trying to dominate the space you two shared behind the camera, âYou can go.â You said, nagging him to leave you alone.Â
He slowly backed away from you, taken aback from your words and let out a sigh which went unnoticed by you. You continued with recording the landscape which brought a sense of calmness to you. You zoomed into Seori and Sunghoon chatting away, her eyes lighting up at the sight of the cheery boy in front of him.Â
Cute, you thought.Â
You slowly panned your camera to the blue skies above the fields and now to the chestnut haired boy. Beomgyuâs smile melted your heart as he talked to some of his friends which seemed really funny with the way he laughed.Â
He was soon joined by the taller boy, Heeseung. You zoomed in on Beomgyu to get a close-up of him, momentarily forgetting about recording the scenery. Yet, strange enough your hands instinctively moved the camera over to capture the boy next to him. There was something about Heeseung that you couldnât quite grasp onto. His doe-like eyes sparkled as he chatted with his friends.Â
With his hair that always seemed to fall so carelessly over his forehead and the way he would sneer slightly as if he was amused whenever someone spoke up, you could never seem to keep your eyes directed elsewhere and you didnât really know why. He had this charm about him that was impossible for you to not look twiceâ the way his lips moved to the glint in his eyes.
After a brief pause, he looked right at the camera, catching your gaze. It startled you, and you fumbled with the cameraâ readjusting the camera and propping it back to the field quickly.Â
Way to make it so not obvious.
However what you didnât catch was Heeseung looking at your clumsy self, trying to grab shots here and there. And what you didn't see was the smile that found its way to his face, because of you.
If you were Heeseung, where would you be right now? Currently, you were looking for wherever Heeseung would be. In the broadcasting room? Surprisingly, no. One of his classes? No. The cafeteria? No sight of the tall boy. Heck! Even the field where Beomgyu was practising? All you could find was the dashing boy moving through the field with ease and shooting a goal into the net.
The banana milk in your hand started to look real good after your countless laps making you thirsty, but no! You were saving that for Heeseung, if he even is alive today. Suddenly, like lightning struck your head, you realised that Heeseung was a huuuge nerd.Â
You jogged to where your school library would be, which was a few metres away from the football field. You entered the facility to see Heeseung in all his glory sitting at one of the tables reading the big book of the Photographers Guide.Â
Of Course heâd be here!
Nerd.
His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration, looking like he absorbed every word and the sight made you smile unknowingly. Without thinking, you walked over and took a seat in front of him.
âWhatchu reading?â you asked, dragging your words a bit, leaning in.
Heeseung let out a small yell as he flinched at the sound of you speaking which made your smile grow even wider, âJesus, woman! stop sneaking up on me like that.â You laughed, brushing it off with a small sorry.
âWhy are you here anyways?â He questioned, âYou donât read.â
âWoah!â You raised your hands a bit at the somewhat correct accusation, âI do, sometimes.â You giggled. âI came to give you this.â You placed the banana milk you were holding on the table.
He raised his eyebrow at you, âIn exchange for?â
âFor nothing! Just a friendly gesture,â you said, but then a sly smile crept up your face. âActually, I was thinking...maybe we could all hang out together? You, me, and Beomgyu.â
Well he knew it.
âHell no,â He said, stuffing his nose back into the big book.
âCmon!â You nagged, your hand reaching for his arm trying to convince him.
Heeseung looked you dead in the eye to say the word ânoâ again to which you groaned at.Â
But then, you noticed a familiar book peeking out of Heeseungâs shoulder bag that was resting on the table. It was volume one of Demon Diary.
âAha!â Without thinking, you snatched it up.
Heeseung shot up looking at you with widened eyes,âHey! Give it back.â He protested.Â
âI agreed to give this to you if you were to help.â You said, dangling the book infront of him. âAnd youâre not, so iâll give this if youââ
âFine.â He snatched the book from your hand.Â
You flashed him a big grin, âGreat! Iâll see you at three o'clock at the bus stop tomorrow.â
Heeseung nodded reluctantly as if he was being held at gunpoint! âFine. But if this turns out to be a disaster, Iâm blaming you.â
âThatâs fine,â you said, grinning from ear to ear. âBut it won't be.âÂ
As you left the library, the reality of your plan started to sink in, filling you with a nervous excitement. To think that tomorrow would be the day that you would actually hang out with Beomgyu in the flesh just brought hundreds of butterflies into your stomach. But a part of you wondered if this was the right direction you were going. But as your plan finally starts to take shape, you think to yourself if this is what you really want? You look back at Heeseung being engrossed in his little book. You wondered if maybe, just maybe, he was looking forward to it too.
But, why do you care? You were here for Beomgyu, right? You are doing this for Beomgyu, you tell yourself. But even as you tried to convince yourself, the nagging thought that was right behind you kept pouring thoughts that maybe, just maybe, there was more to this than you first realised.Â
The next day arrived in a blink. You were already waiting at the bus stop, dusting off the invisible specs over your dress. Your first real dress that you begged Seori to let you borrow. The baby blue chequered dress draped right above your knees and was held with two straps that rested on your shoulders which were tied into the shape of a bow.Â
You looked over at your watch â2:55. You just hoped that Heeseung would show up after praying to the Gods that this plan would finally take off.Â
The time stretched on. It took a few minutes to make your stomach start grumbling due to the nervousness that ran through your body, but everything was put aside when you saw Heeseung walking towards you clad in his white tee paired with cargo pants, his hands shoved in his pockets and a stoic expression covering his face.Â
Next to him was a slightly shorter boy, but also the man of your dreams and the man that was actually in your dream last night as well. Imagining him so many times in front of you, this close felt overwhelming now that he was actually walking towards you. Not anyone elseâyou.
Heeseung and Beomgyu stopped in front of you and Beomgyu greeted you with a grin on his face, contrasting to the boy next to him, âHi Y/n! Itâs been a long time since we talked. Hope you wonât mind me tagging along.â He chuckled.
What? Tagging along?
What exactly did Heeseung tell him?
As Beomgyu walked further ahead of you two, you slowed down your pace to match Heeseung as you elbowed him and aggressively whispered, âWhat did you tell Beomgyu to get him to come?â
Heeseung glanced at you, with that still same stoic look on his face and shrugged. âHe loves carnivals. I barely got to finish what I was saying before he was begging to tag along.âÂ
âMust be fate that we both loooove carnivals so much.â You said, giggling at the thought of you and Beomgyu sharing the same love for roller coasters and cotton candy, missing the roll in Heeseungâs eyes.Â
The three of you finally got onto the bus, you going right after Beomgyu, excited for the trip to the carnival. As you neared one of the seats, the bus suddenly lurched forward, causing you to stumble and fall on your ass right in front of Beomgyu.
But lucky for you, Heeseung was right behind, you pressed against his chest. His hand quickly came into contact with your arm, his grip strong as ever. You looked over to see him just as shocked as you are, but the look in his eyes exuded a genuine concern. Before you could fully register what had just happened, he pushed you away from him while wearing that same stern look on his face.
âThanks," you mumbled, avoiding his gaze as you felt heat rising to your cheeks.
Then he finally looked at you, âSit.â
You quickly obeyed, sitting on one of the seats that was next to Beomgyu who quickly asked if you were okay after seeing you stumble. You replied saying you were fine and breathed out the breath that you didn't know you were holding in.
You looked at Beomgyu once again, who was blissfully unaware of the little moment you just had with Heeseung, if you could even call it that. You turned your head to look at Heeseung who was standing beside you, one hand gripping the rail above for support while his eyes were fixed onto the passing scenery outside the window.Â
You could feel the warmth of him radiating beside you and it strangely brought comfort to you. Even if he wasnât touching you anymore, even if he was looking ahead of you, eyes stuck to the scenery outside one of the windows. It made you feel an unfamiliar emotion which you never experienced. And you wondered why it only happened whenever you saw Heeseung.
Beomgyu on the other hand was mindlessly babbling about the different types of rides he wanted to go and how he hadnât been to an amusement park in years. You nodded along to his words, trying to focus on his mindless chatter about the terrifying but exciting roller coasters they have, but your mind kept running back to how Heeseungâs hand felt on your arm, how you were pressed against his chest and that look that he had in his eyes.
That stupid look.
It only happened whenever he locked eyes with you. You honestly wondered if he had sprinkled something over his eyes to make him look at you like that. But youâd be lying if you said you didnât like it. With recurring encounters revolving around both of you, you started to lean into that look, almost wanting him to look over you with his bambi like doe eyes.Â
But, you were sure that would change today. You were going to stick with Beomgyu. The bus came to a stop at the amusement park, dropping you three off. The sight of the crowded park and the sound of excited chatter alone filled the air, clearing your previous thoughts.Â
You could practically hear Beomgyuâs excitement. You found yourself smiling along at him, heading towards the park as he pointed to the different rides and the various games they had. And on your other side was the walking grey cloud who had a bored look on his face the entire time. Well usually that wouldnât bother you, but something was pulling you to walk around and try every game with him. Not the other.Â
Fuck, you couldnât get distracted.Â
âWe should go on the rollercoaster!â Beomgyu pointed with a big grin plastered on his face.
You nodded along although Heeseung wasnât having the same reaction, âYou guys go ahead, Iâll just walk around.â
âC'mon! Itâd be fun! Donât be such a pussy!â Beomgyu exclaimed, coming near him, his hand dragging Heeseungâs as a motion to join.
âYeah.. you should come.â You said this time, with a genuine smile, looking forward to seeing how this scaredy catâdue to his previous shrieks from you creeping up on himâwould handle roller coasters.
To absolutely no oneâs surprise, he was screaming the entire time on the rollercoaster, barely making it out alive and cursing Beomgyu for wanting a second round. You couldn't help but laugh at his state while he was panting for air, his hands on his knees after getting off the âwretchedâ ride as he liked to call it.
You three would go onto ride the carousel and eat a monthâs supply of cotton candy. You couldnât resist dragging Heeseung onto the Disco Bang ride, laughing as he was tossed around in the spinning machine.Â
Your hands naturally found your way to Heeseungâs, dragging him to any of the games to your liking, him just obliging and tagging along. You made him play the claw machine game a dozen times for a hello kitty doll and he would, skillfully manoeuvring the handles to get the cute plushie. He didnât know why, but he did it so he could see that the doll would perfectly fall into your arms.Â
Beomgyu was far gone into the fun of the carnival, drunk on adrenaline which made him ride the rollercoaster again, twice. And at the end of the day, he had to meet the consequences of his previous decision, making his feet stumble on itself and his head dizzy.Â
By the time you finished circling around the entire amusement park, the sun had already begun to set. The sky was painted in shades of orange fading into pink, the stars already visible.Â
And there was one more ride that you didnât check out. The biggest part of the plan. You saved the ferris wheel for the last so you could hop on into one of the tiny cabins and sit next to Beomgyu as you both watched the fireworks begin.Â
A solid set plan right?Â
âLetâs check out the Ferris wheel,â you suggested, pointing to the towering structure dazzled with colourful lights.
âUh..sure!â Beomgyu hesitantly said while rubbing his tummy, his face a bit pale.
You smiled and got into line side by side with Beomgyu and Heeseung knew that was his cue to let you two have your âmomentâ as you like to call it. Heeseung joined the cue later so he could go alone, his tall figure a few metres away from you. Beomgyu was too worried about his stomach grumbling to wonder why Heeseung didnât join you both.Â
As you got to the cabin, Beomgyu laid his hand on your shoulder, âI think Iâm gonna be sickâŠ"
âBeomgyu, you good?â You asked, worry creeping into your voice as you glanced between him and Heeseung, who looked equally as concerned.
âYeah, go ahead with Heeseung.â He said, quickly leaving the line to find the nearest bathroom so he could hurl his guts out.Â
Fuck.
No, no, no.
This wasnât supposed to go this way.
The line attendant had already called out to you two, so you had to hurry inside the tiny cabin with Heeseung. You swallowed the little bump in your throat, bummed that you didnât get to sit with Beomgyu.
You got Heeseung instead.
You plopped onto the seat, Heeseung sitting in front of you. Your eyes visibly looked sad, and Heeseung had that familiar feeling rushing all over again. The last he felt this was at the locker, the same look shadowed your eyes again.Â
But, he couldnât say anything. He just had to sit there and look at your pretty face with a pout on your lips.Â
Finally, as the cabins were about to start spinning in circles, he broke the silence, âYou okay?â
You scrunched up the ends of your dress, nodding as you looked at the way the fabric bundled up in your hands.Â
âAre you sure?â He asked, with a softer tone, âIâm sorry that Beomgyu couldnât join you.â
âIt's..fine.â You looked outside the window to embrace the calm scenery.
Heeseung just sighed and followed your gaze out the window, occasionally looking at you, that same look on your face.
âDo you think Beomgyu liked this?â You mindlessly asked, feeling disappointment was over you.
âYeah, I think.â Heeseung quietly answered. â He just got ahead of himself.â
âToday was supposed to be perfect, Beomgyu was supposed to actually like me today.â You confessed, your words tumbling over you as your disappointment grew. âI was supposed to watch the fireworks with him on the ferris wheel, but now heâs puking his guts out probably cursing me for planning this and I dragged you into thisâ-â
Hey, hey⊠you did good today.â Heeseungâs words rushed to comfort you, his heart aching as he heard your breathing quickening.
âHe genuinely looked like he had fun with you and trust me I know how he looks when he has fun and this was one of the few times he actually smiled that much around anyone. If you ask me, I think he⊠likes you plenty.â
Heeseung didnât know why, but he hated saying those last few words. The boy had to spend the entire day at the park looking at Beomgyu gleam over you with such sincerity in his eyes as you smiled with him, riding fucking automated horses that went around in a circle and to say that he likes you was the perfect cherry on top.
âThank you, Seung.â
Seung.
That was the first time you ever called him by a nickname. It had always been "Heeseung," usually accompanied by some kind of teasing or nagging. So donât blame his heart for skipping a beat when you sat there all pretty calling him a name which made his mind dizzy.
âThe fireworks are starting.â You said, a soft smile rested on your face as you looked to the view outside your window which Heeseung shortly followed after.
And as if on cue, just as the ferris wheel stopped with you both on top, the first set of fireworks had exploded into the sky. It filled the dark night with colour while your eyes lingered over the lit patches of collie, mesmerised by its beauty.Â
âItâs so pretty.â You muttered, your voice filled with awe.
Heeseung didnât respond right away. Why? He was too busy looking at you. It felt more worthwhile than watching a few fireworks light up the night sky. It was more worth it to see how your eyes lit up at the sight. How your eyes widened in shock of the scenery ahead of you.
You looked pretty.
âSo pretty.â He muttered, almost in a whisper where only he and his gear could hear it.
Time seemed to stop. The only thing in motion was the continuous fireworks bursting and Heeseung didnât want it to end. He realised then and there that he would burst up as many fireworks just to see that smile on your face. He realised that heâd do anything to see you happy.
That night, while he sat with you on top of the ferris wheel to watch the fireworks, Heeseung realised something deeper than he was ready to admitâ yet something he couldnât ignore, at least not anymore.
You donât remember much about the end of yesterday. The fireworks felt like the only thing that was running in your mind. And Heeseung? You donât seem to remember much about him in the ferris wheelâkept saying the fireworks were pretty or something?Â
Nevertheless, you were a hundred percent sure that your plan yesterday had worked. Although there may have been a few minor setbacks (Beomgyu hurling his guts out), you were pretty confident that Beomgyu might see you as his future girlfriend.
Thatâs why you sprang out of bed, determined to commence phase two of your plan.
Movie date with Choi Beomgyu.
Featuring the infamous Lee Heeseung sitting two rows away from you both.
Considering that today was the last day of school, you knew it was your final chance to get closer to Beomgyu. As you walked down the hallway together with Seori, you had your mandatory debriefing with her about the events that happened last night, reminiscing every sweet moment with Beomgyu.
âOh my gosh!â Seori squealed, âYou two are so cute together!â
You nodded your head, feeling proud about it. â You finally talked to a real boy! I thought this day would never come!â Seori dramatically exclaimed, making your eyes roll as she clung onto your arms in excitement.
And as if on cue, Beomgyu came into view, stepping out of a classroom. To your surprise, he actually looked at you and waved.
He actually waved!
Trying to stay composed, you waved back with a soft smile, watching as he walked away. Seori in turn looked the most excited sheâs ever been, squeezing your arm hard.
âHe so wants you!â She said, playfully.
You bit your lip, trying to contain that flutter in your chest. âHopefully.â You replied in a mutter, still slightly dazed.
But deep inside you, that flutter didnât have that same kick to it. It almost felt unfamiliar. As if it was fading away, slowly slipping through your fingers.You werenât sure why, but the thought of Beomgyu liking you didnât bring as much joy as it did before.
What fueled you to continue was the pure determination that coursed through your veins. With that resolve, you left to go meet your matchmaker, Heeseung.
Which is how you found yourself in front of the broadcasting room again, later that day. You opened the door to see Heeseung there fiddling with some of the equipment.
âHey Seung.â He turned around to see you heading towards him, his eyes softening a bit at the sight of you.
âHey.â He quietly said, going back to adjusting some equipment.
âWhy the long face?â You pouted, taking a seat next to him.
Well he would look like he was struck by lightning if you called him âseungâ though that pretty mouth of yours, ever so softly. If only you knew how his heart was running miles when you said it so softly, making him melt at the sound of his name coming from your lips.Â
âNothing.â He brushed it off.
âHmm, you could tell me if something is bothering you.â You said, with sincerity. âDid I do something wrong?â You asked as you put your chin onto your hand, looking up at him with your doe eyes.
God, he was a goner.
âYouâre fine, dork.â He finally smiled at you, ruffling your hair and going back to whatever he was working on.
You froze at the warmth in his gaze, but pushed the feeling aside. âWell in that case, do you wanna watch a movie with me?â You smiled, with hope in your eyes.
âYou mean, me third-wheeling you and Beomgyu?â He rolled his eyes.
âWell, you are supposed to help me.â You huffed, making a point.
Heeseung glanced back at you once again seeing that pout on your face which made him sigh, âFine, whatever.â
You squealed in excitement, hugging his arm as you were thrilled to hear his answer.Â
The day passed on quickly, and before you knew it, it was already seven oâclock and you were already waiting for Heeseung and Beomgyu outside the familiar bus stop again.
But this time, Heeseung came with the absence of Beomgyu. You wondered if he was coming later than expected orâŠif he wasnât coming at all. The thought alone made you gulp.
âWhereâs Beomgyu?â You looked behind Heeseung, desperate to see if he even was behind the tall figure.
âHe did not take that rollercoaster ride well, long story short; he fell sick.â Heeseung dropped the devastating news.
You huffed in annoyance, âIs he okay? I saw him at school today.â You asked, voicing your sincerity.
âYeah, he is. He took half a day.â Heeseung said, shoving his hands in his pocket, âJust needs rest.â
If it only wasnât for Beomgyuâs weak immunity, youâd both be smooching in Hawaii! (or watching the movie, you could work with either.)
âWell, what are we going to do now! I already paid.â You pouted, crossing your arms in frustration.Â
Heeseung could only softly smile at your frustrated self. Just then, the bus arrived, and you looked at Heeseung, pursing your lips.Â
You grabbed his hand before heading inside the bus, âWhat are you doing?â Heeseung asked with startled eyes.
âIâm not wasting my money.â You muttered, as you sat on one of the seats in the bus while Heeseung scoffed at your response.
You and Heeseung ended up at your local cinema, watching the re-release of fucking Top Gun, a choice made because you thought Beomgyu would like it. On the other hand, Heeseung was having the time of his life, completely immersed in the world of guns and whatnot.Â
Pfft. Typical Nerd.
But youâd be lying if you didnât think he was cute whenever he slightly flinched at the explosions on the screen. Not that cute though. Maybe⊠kinda⊠you werenât sure!
You were just frustrated about not being seated next to Beomgyu. Instead it was just Heeseung sitting next to you. But a part of you didnât mind, in fact it brought a small smile to your face.Â
You shuffled in your seat trying to shake off the uneasy feeling you got in your stomach whenever you thought about Heeseung.Â
Well you never felt like this in your whole seventeen years of living, and you sure didnât feel like this with Beomgyu. It felt almost comforting with Heeseung. You both didnât have to fill the silence every time, you could just feel at ease with each otherâs presence. With Beomgyu, there were always butterflies roaming through your stomach, but with Heeseung you felt like you didnât have to try to impress yourself, just you being there felt enough.Â
And a part of you didnât care that you were sitting next to Heeseung watching this God awful movie, occasionally grazing hands whenever both of you reached into the popcorn bucket. But thank God that the movie ended because you couldnât take another second of guns and explosions.
You both made your way out of the theatre in silence, though you couldnât stop thinking about comparing your all time love with Heeseung. You were so immersed that you didnât even notice the uneven sidewalk to the nearing bus station until it was too late. Well you did stumble, but before you could hit the ground, Heeseung caught you just in time again.
God, youâve got to stop falling!
âWhen will you open your eyes?â Heeseung remarked with sarcasm and he let go.
You didnât register the stupid remark Heeseung had said, as the pain in your ankle started becoming impossible to ignore. You looked down to realise that you probably strained your ankle.
âOuch.â You winched at the pain, as you rubbed your leg.
âAre you okay?â Heeseung crouched down to get a better look.
âI donât know, I think I strained it.â Heeseung only sighed at your answer.
He shaked his head slightly, facing away from you as he was crouching so you could climb onto his back, âCome on, get on.â
âWhat? Heeseung, I can walk.â You said, though you definitely could not. But you werenât getting on his back after your little thought session at the movies.
But your protests were a waste because before you knew it, you were on his back, holding onto his shoulders as he carried you.
âYouâre lighter than I thought.â Heeseung teased, keeping his tone light.
You hit his back lightly as you retorted, âIâm not that light.â Though a small reluctantly found its way to your face.
Heeseung walked towards the bus station, while you rested your head on his shoulder, kicking your legs in a trace of rhythm while occasionally talking with Heeseung, though most of it was Heeseung humming along to whatever mindless thoughts you voiced.Â
It almost felt like you knew him for most of your life. It felt so soothing with him, his little teases making you whine. His way of looking at you like you were the most fragile thing on earth. His way of making you smile whenever you felt sad.Â
It felt like he was the one.Â
But he isnât.
Beomgyu is.
Thatâs what you kept telling yourself as Heeseung slowly crept up your heart. What you didnât know was that Heeseung felt the same. Almost like two idiots in denial. Typical.
Once you got onto the train, you sat side by side in silence, the gentle ride on the bus with occasional bumps lulled you into a peaceful state. You pulled out your headphones and handed one to Heeseung, âHere.â
The soft melody of âì€ëŹŒë€ìŻ, ì€ëŹŒíë â by JAURIM flowed into your eyes, making this moment feel like a scene from a movie. Without realising, you leaned your head on his shoulder, the dayïżœïżœïżœs events catching up to you. And before you knew it, you drifted off into a long sleep.Â
Heeseung glanced down at you, a small smile played on his lips as he watched. He couldn't help but think how adorable you looked even if you were doing almost as nothing as sleeping against him. The wind from the open window made a few strands of hair fall onto your face, he gently grazed your face, tucking them behind your ear.Â
And the moment you shifted closer to him in your sleep, he knew he was done for.
Time passed quickly. It was already December. As the end of the school year approached, with graduation just around the corner, the broadcasting club decided to put in their two cents in the yearbook signing party. And Soobin thought a photo booth would be the perfect inclusion for it, so students could take a picture with their friends one last time.Â
And naturally, you and Heeseung were assigned to watch over the photobooth while the other members were assigned to different parts of the party such as the memory lane. You were manning the table with Heeseung while Seori and Sunghoon came over to your stand.
âSeori! You came!â You squealed at the sight of your best friend hand in hand with Sunghoon. âHi Sunghoon.â
He waved at you with a smile, âWe wanted to get a few pictures before it gets too crowded. Plus I had to drag him here.â Seori said, giving you the needed money.
âYeah, she wouldnât take no for an answer.â He teased Seori, gently ruffling her hair as she whined.Â
Seori slightly nudged Sunghoon before fixing her hair for the pictures. You and Heeseung could only chuckle at their playful banter.Â
âRight away, lovebirds.â You snickered with Heeseung at the sight of the two while Seori glared at you, mouthing âsays youâ while eyeing Heeseung as well.
Uncalled forâŠ
Seori pulled in Sunghoon in the booth, Sunghoon taking the initiative to pull her onto his lap as she giggled. They shared cute and goofy pictures with Seori giving Sunghoon a kiss on the cheek at the end.Â
âTheyâre cute.â You mumbled to Heeseung.
âI guess.â Heeseung smiled with you, glancing at you occasionally.
After Seori and Sunghoon left, time went faster as the crowd started to fill up the Gym. The line for the photo booth became longer. Seori decided to join your table for a while to cure her boredom while Sunghoon played with his friends in the court. Just in time, Beomgyu showed up, revealing who was next in line.
And before you knew it, you were squished in the photo booth with Beomgyu on one end and Heeseung at the other, Seori taking up the remaining space at the far end. âMove over!â Beomgyu giggled while pushing you more against Heeseung. Instinctively, Heeseung wrapped his arm around you, his hand brushing against your waist as he pulled you in.Â
A mix of nervousness and excitement rushed over you, as the same familiar warmth settled in your stomach. It wasnât because of the tight space but because of how close Heeseung was to you. The warmth of his hand against your waist sent shivers down your spine.
The camera's flash went off a few times, capturing the moments with you four. Beomgyu had put on whatever goofy face he could come up with and Seori had her signature peace sign up while a small smile rested on Heeseungâs face.Â
As the evening wore on, the crowd started to disappear. Students gathered their belongings, bidding each other goodbye. A strange sense of nostalgia washed over you, feeling emotional that this could be the last time youâd be talking with these students. Karina, Jungwon, and Rei had bid you goodbye as they left after taking down the memory lane they had set up.Â
Taehyun and Lia had come in later as they were busy with student body council stuff, but wished you and Heeseung both a quick goodbye before they left as well. And before you knew it, it was only you and Heeseung with a few other students roaming around the Gym. You glanced at Heeseung who was organising the leftover photostrips, carefully putting them into one of the brown boxes beside him.Â
A small smile played on your lips, âYou wanna take some pictures? Just us two.âÂ
Heeseung looked up at you with his bambi eyes, a smile on his face. âSure.â He agreed.
The two of you slipped inside the photo booth, and all of a sudden the air felt different. The atmosphere hung something heavy, waiting to be acknowledged. You sat fairly close together, trying to settle in.Â
Heeseung started the timer and sat back down with a smile. You barely had time to think before the first flash went off catching you off guard. This made you laugh, along with Heeseung. The other flashes were followed by playful poses, you placing a peace sign behind Heeseungâs head and Heeseung pinching your cheeks.
Before the last flash went off, you felt a shift in the atmosphere. That feeling started becoming impossible to ignore. Heeseung turned to look at you just as you turned towards you. Your eyes met. Suddenly everything around you was a blur. It was just Heeseung in focus. The boy who months ago got on your nerves. The silent chatter outside became white noise for you.Â
Heeseungâs gaze softened, your eyes never left him. The final flash went off going unnoticed. Before you even processed what was going on, he leaned in. HIs lips gently brushing against yours, your eyes instinctively closing.Â
It felt soft, careful, yet why did your heart feel like it was going to leap out of your chest. His hands grazed your cheek pulling you closer as you reciprocated the kiss, earning him to pull even closer. It felt so raw yet so gentle. The kiss lasted a few seconds, yet it felt like an eternity. You were so far gone. You donât seem to remember anything.Â
When you finally pulled away, you both looked at each other, out of breath as you were stunned in silence.
Just then, you heard someoneâs voice from outside. âHeeseung?â It was Soobin, his voice laced in urgency.Â
Heeseung blinked out of his daze, pulling himself outside the photobooth after opening the curtain that divided the photobooth from the outside. âIâIâm here!â He called out, his voice shaken up.Â
âCan you help me carry these boxes to the storage room? Miss Lee wants them gone by now.â He huffed, handing one of the boxes to Heeseung.
Heeseung glanced back at you, sitting in the photo booth still shaken up by that stunt Heeseung pulled. He only gulped and looked back at Soobin. âYeah sure.â Though he didnât have another choice as Soobin already shoved the box in his face.
âThanks dude.â Soobin smiled and headed out the Gym with Heeseung. Heeseung looked back at you one last time before exiting the Gym, the kiss replaying in his head over and over again.Â
You sat there for a moment, still not being able to process what just happened. Your heart was pounding like crazy, almost trying to jump out of your chest. The vibrations of your heart beat reached your chest, followed by your uneven breathing. Yet despite all of this chaos, you could still feel the warmth of his lips on yours.Â
You still feel the presence of him next to you. Slowly, a small smile crept onto your kiss. After you collected yourself, you finally stepped out of the photobooth. Your heart was still racing as you pulled at the photo strip hanging from the slot. As you looked at the photostrip, the last shot catched your attention, making you snicker to yourself.
You probably look like a crazy woman right now.
The one before the last shot caught your attentionâthe one right before the kiss. There was something with the way he looked at you, something you had noticed before, but didnât care for. And now that you realised what it meant, you couldnât look away.Â
And it was then, standing outside the photobooth alone got you to realise just how much you liked this moment. You liked that kiss. You liked Heeseung. The thought alone hit you like a ton of bricks. All this time, youâd been so focused on Beomgyu yet It was Heeseung all along, standing right infront you yet you were so blind.Â
The once crush on Beomgyu that had felt so secure was torn by in seconds through that kiss. All that you knew was crushed by the boy you thought was stuck up and a geek.Â
Heeseung didnât know what to do. He was in a state of confusion. Why did he kiss you? He knows you like Beomgyu. And why did you kiss him back? You like Beomgyu. Heeseung thought of himself as so fucking stupid. Why did he leave you like that? He wanted to hug you so badly and pour everything that he was holding in. He didnât know what to do with these overwhelming amount of emotions. And all of these emotions were ones he felt for you. Not anyone else.
The days that followed the kiss were a blur, heâd been stuck in his bed, ignoring every call that Beomgyu made or any other friend of his. All he could do was sigh and rethink that day at the photobooth.Â
He couldnât face Beomgyu right now knowing it was your heart that belonged to him and he sure couldnât look at you, after knowing you liked someone else. The realisation pierced him, leaving a nasty sting.Â
On the other hand, you cursed the timing for making you and Heeseung kiss right at the end of the school year. You sulked, knowing you couldnât see Heeseung after this, having to wait a month to see him in person. So you could only take the landline and call him.
What was strange is that he didnât pick.
Again and again.
Was heâŠignoring you?
As more days passed, his absence left a hole in you. It hurt like a bitch. Seori visited occasionally only to meet your dull self. You were grateful you had your best friend by your side who comforted you everytime you slipped out a sob. Your heart winced at each time the call would go to voicemail. You knew you couldnât take it anymore so you called your last hope.
Choi Beomgyu.
âHey, can we talk? In person.â You said, keeping it short.
Moments later, you met him at the local park, the sight bringing memories of where you and Heeseung talked. Fuck.Â
âHey, whatâs up?â Beomgyu asked, taking a seat on the bench which you followed shortly after.
âHasâŠHeeseung been ignoring you?â You asked, your voice filled with hesitation.
Beomgyu let out a long sigh and leaned back, looking up at the night sky. âI donât know why, heâs never been like this.â
So he has.
âI even went to his house, but his mom just said heâs going through some kind of phase. I donât get it dude. Itâs all so confusing,â Beomgyu mindlessly ranted, âDid he ignore you too? I wouldnât be surprised.â
âHe did.â You answered, âAnd I think itâs all my fault.â
Beomgyu furrowed his eyebrows, looking at you now. âWhat happened?â
Taking a deep breath, you began, âBeomgyu, I like you. Or at least I liked you. â You mentally winced at the sight of his eyes widening. âBut now, I think I like Heeseung. Like a lot. And⊠we kissed in the photo booth that day, but after that, he just ran off.â
âLike the coward he is.â Beomgyu scoffed, clearly annoyed at his best friendâs loser-ish behaviour.
âAnd now, he probably still thinks I have feelings for you. I wanna tell him that I like him, he just wonât pick up.â You sulked, trying not to let the tears that formed in your eye fall.
âHey, hey.â Beomgyu rubbed his hand against your back to comfort you,âHe probably feels guilty about this, thatâs probably why heâs shutting everyone out. Iâm really sorry this happened, butâŠI think all we could do for now is to wait for him until heâs ready. Heâs probably overwhelmed by everything.â He sighed.
âI know Beomgyu, I just want to talk to him so bad. I want to clear everything up. I just want to see him.â You said, your voice shaky.Â
âHey, if itâs hurting you this much⊠Iâll try and talk to him. Iâll try to get through to him.â Beomgyu said, his voice gentleÂ
You sniffed, wiping a stray tear. âThank you.â
âIf it makes you stop crying.â He said with a smile.Â
You went back home with a comforted heart which was still hurting a bit. If you could only see Heeseung, everything would be cured. Youâd give him the biggest hug and tell him everything youâve been holding on to.
As you looked at the landline hanging on the wall, you leaned against the cold wall of your hallway. You picked the phone, dialling the familiar number once again.
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
Each ring felt like an eternity. You gripped the phone even tighter, desperate that heâd pick up. A lump appeared in your throat as the tears that were once gone came back and rested against your eyes, threatening to fall out.Â
âPlease pick upâŠPlease.â You voiced out in a whisper.
It went to voicemail.
You let out the breath youâd been holding. You let go of the telephone you had been holding. The ears that had been stinging your eyes finally fell out as you let out a sob. You just hoped he didnât hate you and you hoped that heâd pick up your calls tomorrow.
It had been days since Heeseung and you talked. Ever since that kiss, he hasnât talked to you or Beomgyu. But what could he do? He didnât seem to know. Christmas Eve had arrived, a time usually filled with warmth, joy, yet he just couldnât shake that dreaded feeling off him.
The slowly softly landed on the concrete outside the house, the night displaying the bright stars. He trudged out the house carrying a garbage bag to dispose of it.Â
Meanwhile, Beomgyu stood outside his house, padded up in his winter coat, his breath made visible in the air. He watched Heeseungâs dull self make a boring chore even more boring. He had been waiting a while for Heeseung to come out the house, and to his luck, Heeseungâs timing couldnât be more perfect.Â
Though Heeseung didnât see him at first since his mind was scattered somewhere else, Beomgyu knew just what to do. He crouched down to grab a handful of snow and made a makeshift snowball or war weapon as Beomgyu would like to call it.
Before Heeseung could even turn back, a snowball suddenly smacked him in his back. Startled, Heeseung turned around quickly as his eyes landed on the mischievous boy.Â
He groaned, âSeriously?â He brushed the snow off his jacket, sighing at the annoying act.
Beomgyu only smiled, crouching down once again to throw another. This time, it went straight to his arm and Heeseung could only sigh at his childish acts.
âWhat do you want?â Heeseung asked, feeling annoyed.
âCame to talk.â Beomgyu said, stepping closer. âYouâre a fucking idiot, you know that?âÂ
Heeseung raised his eyes at the insult, âI donât know what youâre talking about.â
âYes you do.â Beomgyu gazed at the boy, âYou like Y/n.â
His heart skipped a beat at the mention of your name, âI mean I get it, Sheâs pretty.â
Heeseungâs eyes narrowed straight at him, a shot of jealousy hit him, âDude.â
Beomgyu smiled at his reaction, âSo you do like her.â He laughed.
âThat doesnât matter anymore. I fucked up.â He sighed.
The older boy shook his head, âYou donât know her. I mean have you talked to her?â
âI just donât want to.â Heeseung said, a shaky voice emitted through his throat. âIâmâŠscared of what sheâs going to say.â
Beomgyu sighed at his friendâs foolishness but he didnât want to be the one to break the news of you liking him back, âYou never know until you try. You should talk to her.â
Beomgyu's words had left Heeseung cluttered with thoughts. He should really talk to you. Yet he still was running away from the idea of having to do anything with you. For all he could know, he mightâve really fucked up your friendship and he jus did not want to face that.Â
Heeseung started at the ground, his voice soft as a whisper, âIâm sorry I ignored you. It was stupid of me to do that.âÂ
Beomgyu put his hand around him as a warm, understanding gesture. âYou are. But youâre my best friend. You can talk to me, you know?â
The taller boy only nodded at his words, âYou know, Jay is having a christmas party now.â He said after a moment. âYou should come.âÂ
Heeseung glanced at the boy, hesitation ran through his face but he could only nod before Boemgyu grinned at him, taking him away from his house as he headed towards Jayâs.
The cold didnât seem to be biting anymore for Heeseung. He finally felt the relief and the comfort of christmas. The warmth of the christmas lights finally rushed towards him as he finally put on a smile to be reconciled with his best friend.
Now all he had to do was talk to you.
The warm air buzzed with sweaty teenagers and booze in every corner. There were a few garlands thrown around here and there, but that was just for the name of calling this a christmas party, though Jay just wanted to talk to girls. You were squished against some sophomores with Seori, trying to get past the drunk teenagers and head to the kitchen for some water.
âHey, did you see Sunghoon?â Seori asked, looking around.
âNo, you should probably ask Jay. I see him at the entrance.â You suggested, while taking two water bottles out the fridge. âHere.â You passed on to your best friend.
âOkay, donât get lost or get into trouble! No drugs!â She shouted as she dived back into the pile of drunk teenagers.Â
After a while, you went back into the living room, already regretting coming back into the crowd. Suddenly, a voice rang through your ears making you turn your head.Â
âHi Y/n! Didnât know you came!â Beomgyu exclaimed, hugging you with one hand while his other was occupied with a beer.
âYeah, Seori kinda forced me to come.â You said, with a hearty laugh. âIs he⊠here?â You asked, with hope.
Beomgyu smiled as he grinned, âHeâs at the back. You should talk to him.â He nudged you.
You smiled, thanking him as you left to see Heeseung. The thought of seeing him brought that warm feeling back in you. Something you missed feeling. At that moment, you realised how much of a void he left in you when he went M.I.A.Â
He was standing there, looking slightly out of place. His bambi eyes still managed to shine through the dark setting. You took in a deep breath and went up to him.
âHeeseung. Hi.âÂ
Heeseungâs heartbeat quickened. He gulped looking over you. âHey, Y/n.â
âHow are you?â You said, trying to engage in small talk knowing you wanted more than to hug him and clear everything up.
âIâm well. Finally got out of the house.â He slowly spoke, taking a sip out of his red cup. âHow bout you?âÂ
âIâm okayâŠâ To be honest, you werenât. You had spent so much time thinking about Heeseung and your feelings and how that whole moment at the photobooth felt. Just the thought of him and your countless failed attempts at calling him never left your mind.
âYou never picked up.â You curtly said. âI wasâŠwaiting for you.â
âIâm so sorry Y/n. I never meant to ignore you.â He said, coming closer to you. âI thought you were mad at me.â
âIâd never.â You smiled sincerely, looking up at him.Â
He smiled at that. âMerry Christmas Y/n.â The boy said softly, a small smile played on his lips.
You giggled as you came closer. âMerry Christmas Seung.âÂ
The tension between you both wore away. It felt normal again. It felt like the same old you and the same old Heeseung. And you liked how it was right now.Â
But just as you were about to say something more, Jake spoke up. âYo, you guys are standing under the mistletoe.â He yelled as he pointed at the sprig of mistletoe above you both.Â
âKISS! KISS! KISS!â The chants echoed throughout the room, and all you could look at was how flushed Heeseung looked. You needed to let him know that you liked him now. You werenât able to let out the words before so you took a step closer to him.Â
You could see how red his ears were to which you smiled at. Cute. As you looked at him for consent through your doe eyes, he took the cue to hook his hands around your waist, filling the gap between you two. You instinctively put your arms around his necks, bringing his face closer to you.Â
Just as Heeseung leaned in closer, with his breath feeling warm against your skin. Jay suddenly barged through the crowd, his voice loud enough to cut through the speakerâs music. You just caught him and just like that he slipped through your fingers.Â
âShit, Y/n!âÂ
You turned around startled, unconsciously pushing Heeseung away. âWhatâs wrong?â
âSeoriâs crying.â Jay said, in a quieter voice.Â
Your heart immediately sank, the moment you both had immediately fading away. Â
âFuck, is she okay?â You asked, voicing your concern.Â
âMan, is this kiss gonna happen?â Jake said, tired of waiting.Â
âShut the fuck up, man!â You yelled before following Jay with Heeseung.Â
Echoes of boos could be heard through the room, but you didnât care about that. The only thing in your mind was Seori. You just hoped nothing intense happened.
You were left to see a distressed Seori, bawling while Beomgyu patted her back. âSeori, whatâs wrong?â You asked, in a gentle manner, wiping the tears off her face.
âSunghoonâkissed Junhee!â Seori hiccuped.
You immediately hugged her, her sniffles now becoming muffled. âI thoughtâwe had something!âÂ
The tears soaked through your shirt as you as she let out uncontrollable sobs. You have never seen her like this in all of your seventeen years of living. It honestly broke your heart to see her in this state and realising how much that douchebag meant to her after countlessly brushing off the times youâve teased her about being wrapped around his finger.
It fucking sucked to see your best friend being torn into bits all because she liked a boy. You were too much into comforting Soeri that you completely forgot about your surroundingsâeven Heeseung.
âLetâs go home, okay?â You spoke in a gentle manner, squeezing her tight as you spoke to which she only nodded.
You headed out the door, thanking Beomgyu and Jay. Heeseung mindlessly followed you two, a soft look on his face.
As you led Seori out the party and onto the porch, her sobs got quieter as she hiccuped occasionally. The air fresh from December hit your face, the windy atmosphere almost feeling harsher towards you.Â
You finally let her out of your grip to let her collect herself and cool off a bit. You friend to Heeseung who was already looking at you with the light from the street lamps shining through his eyes.
âIâm..sorry we didnât get to talk.â You mumbled, looking at him through your eyelashes.
âDonât apologise. You did the right thing.â He reassured you with a soft smile, rubbing your arm as a gesture of comfort which made you smile back.
âWe can always talk later, dork.âÂ
You missed him calling you that. You missed everything he did.
âMerry Christmas, Seung.â You said, tiptoeing to kiss him on the cheek.Â
His eyes sprightly widened at that. He honestly couldnât believe his eyes. A pretty girl just kissed himâcorrection; the prettiest girl in the world just kissed him. He felt like he won the lottery and the price was you.Â
âMerry Christmas Y/n. Get home safe.â He said, as you walked away from him, hand in hand with Seori who was deep in her thoughts.
You waved towards him, your attention on him now converting to Seori who was beside you as you both headed to her house.
Heeseung touched the sticky mark that your lipgloss left on his cheek. The warmth of your small kiss still lingered on his cheek. As you disappeared from his sight, he knew he had to pour his heart and soul to the girl who had stolen his heart.
You always thought of spending a new yearâs eve party at someoneâs house, drinking booze and dancing with people left and right. But you realised, this year felt different. You leaned against the cold window of your bedroom, it was slightly drizzling outside. The sound of your tv turned on for the new yearâs parade complimented the white noise you could hear from outside your room.Â
It felt almost lonely, you turned around looking at the scenery of the night, the stars resting against the night sky. You had already beeped Seori through your pager but she has yet to call you, leaving you wondering what she was up to now.
Suddenly, a small thud against the window jolted you from your thoughts. Startled, you turned around to see the commotion outside. As you peered out the window, you saw four familiar figures standing outside your house, one of them wiggling a bag of soju bottles and snacks.Â
Ofcourse, theyâd show up unannounced.Â
You rolled your eyes at the sight of Seori, Beomgyu and Heeseung showing up in front of your door, to your surprise. You quickly went downstairs to let them inside and showed them to your bedroom.Â
âWhat are you guys doing here?â You asked, as you sat down on the cold floor where you were once seated.
âSaving your ass from a boring new year, duh!â Seori said, placing the bottles on the floor as she took a seat next to you.
âYou guys really didnât have to do this.â You said, though your eyes went up to Heeseung, like he was the only person who was in the room. You couldnât keep your eyes off of that glow that he gave.
âEy, it was more an excuse just to get black out drunk.â Beomgyu nudged your rib cage after sitting down next to you as Heeseung sat in front of you, not a ward out of his mouth.
As the night progressed, you four got comfortable and you later found out how much of a good pair Seori mixed with Beomgyu was. Though, you didnât expect them to actually stick to their words and get wasted. Laughter echoed from them every five minutes and long before you knew it, Seori started blabbering mindless words while Beomgyu giggled at the smallest thing.Â
âBeomgyu, what do you know about love?â Seori said, as she spread her legs, lying on the floor.
âLove?â Beomgyu giggled, âThatâs funny.â
âHey, have you ever been in love?â Seori mumbled to him.
âWith soju, yeah.â He joked, earning a light hit from Seori.
âYou kids still have to experience the heartbreak to know what love is.â Seori scoffed, her hands on her stomach as she looked at the ceiling. It was clear she was referencing what happened to her a few days ago.
Heeseung had now gotten closer, sitting right next to you. You both hadnât talked about what happened that night, leaving unspoken words in the air. Though you both had eased in the awkwardness and got to talking a lot, not minding the two drunkards.Â
âSheâs so funny when sheâs drunk.â You laughed at her state.
âBeomgyuâs worse.â Heeseung added in.Â
âThey make a good match.â You said, sighing at their foolishness. Heeseung smiling along with you.
A few hours, closer to midnight. Seori and Beomgyu were passed out, only leaving you two up to witness going into the new millennium.Â
âItâs almost midnight.â You pointed out, as crowds started to appear at the sighting for the fireworks, you intently watched it through the small tv you had in your room.Â
âYeah,â Heeseung replied, his voice low and soft.Â
âHey listen, Iâve been thinking about what you said the other day.â He said, making you go back to the night of Christmas Eve, the thought leaving a fresh mark in your mind.
You turned to look at Heeseung who was already staring at you with his bambi eyes.Â
âI think this is long overdue,â He sighed. âBut I just wanted to tell you that I like you, a lot. More than just a friend. Youâre really pretty and youâre such a dork, it makes me go crazy.â He slightly chuckled, making you smile at his silly speech.Â
âI mean every single word I say. I donât think I can start the new year by not telling you how you make me go crazy.â He softly said.
You had no words.
You realised you couldn't make up a small speech like his. It felt like too much to say. You had been pushing away your feelings for him, because you were too into Beomgyuâs handsome face. But after him opening your eyes wide, you realised the pretty boy sitting next to you was all you could ask for your new yearâs wish. You looked at him through your eyelashes, your mouth slightly agape.Â
You just wanted to kiss him.
So why not?
You leaned in, ever so slightly. You kissed him. The world outside seemed to slowly fade away. The countdown on the tv and the gentle snores from Seori and Beomgyu served as background noise. You could practically hear your heartbeat along with Heeseungâs. You could feel the slight taste of soju as his warm lips pressed against yours, his hand slowly reached its way to the back of your neck to pull you in closer. It felt like his lips against yours was the only thing that mattered.
3! 2! 1!
The fireworks started.
The kiss started in 1999 and ended in 2000, the clock struck twelve as the new year came in. You pulled away, exhaling that breath you didn't know you held in. You couldnât help but giggle softly, as he finally cracked a smile.
âI like you too, alot.â You looked at him, he rested his forehead against yours. âGuess I fell for the wrong best friend.â
âI guess I fell for a dork.â He joked, earning a slight tap on his chest by your hand. âAt least, that dork is mine, I hope.â
âIâd love to be yours, Hee.âÂ
Heeseung smiled at that, pecking you quickly. âHappy new year, dork.â
âHappy new year, Seung.â You replied, emotions filling you full.
He found his way to your lips again, kissing you with a tighter grip, and in that moment, you finally caught himâyou werenât letting the boy go anywhere. The boy who intimidated you at first, who called you a dork and now his, who cleaned your wounds and gave you piggyback rides. The boy who was your first love, now leaving him to adore you.
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I Try to Refrain (But Youâre Stuck in my Brain)
You have a dream about Paige, and it leads to some shocking revelations.
Paige Bueckers x Reader
Masterlist
Word Count: 1.2k
Themes: loneliness, reader realizes she's in love with her best friend, paige is a flirt (what's new?)
A/N: hi guys. sorry it's been a hot min. This election has made me miserable and my grandpa just died today so I wrote this to distract myself lol. I wanted to write something that wasn't fluff before coming out with a new part to I've Got a Wand and a Rabbit, so hopefully this will suffice. Please don't let this flop
Also Is There Somewhere is one of most favorite songs of all time you all should check it out if you've never heard it !!
Please enjoy:)
~
There was simply no denying that being a college student was pretty fucking exhausting. Between your on-campus casual job, the extensive list of assignments you had racked up, and the overwhelming need to still have a social life, the circles under your eyes had become much more pronounced in the last few weeks.Â
You needed your beauty sleep, or else youâd be well on your way to looking like Shrek by the end of the semester. And because you had been on the hunt to end your single streak, looking like Shrek would be the worst thing to happen.Â
You giggle to yourself, the sleep deprivation clearly making you delirious. Checking your watch, you see that you had in fact been up for a whopping 28 hours. It was time for a seriously good nap. You throw your backpack onto the floor of your bedroom, tugging your sweatshirt off of you and flopping down onto your bed. The plushness engulfs you in warmth and comfort, lulling you into a deep, calming sleep, that you so desperately needed.
Or so you thought.
~
You wake up panting. The air around you is suffocatingly hot, and you can feel the sheets twisted uncomfortably around your legs, trapping you in the warmth. Your heart is pounding against your chest, and you slide your hand across your sternum in a futile effort to soothe yourself.Â
The dream was quickly fading, and you squeeze your eyes in deep concentration, desperate to hold on to the remnants of it before they fled from your racing thoughts.Â
It was hazy. But the pounding of your chest and the fluttering that accompanied made you feel like you were missing a key detail. It was right on the tip of your tongue, inching further and further away the more you search for the answers.Â
You were in bed with another person. They were warm, and their laugh was enough to make you want to get down on one knee right then and there. You were cuddled up with them, the feeling of peace washing over you.
It has been a long time since you felt peace, and as you search for more clues to unearth your future love of your life, the wistfulness settles deep inside you. It mocks you, whispering into your ear that youâd never feel so lucky to be at peace with someone.Â
The last of the dream fades, and you groan, throwing your arm over your face and vowing to prove your meanest, most vile inner voices wrong.Â
Because, goddamn it, you did deserve to be loved. And maybe, just maybe, it would happen for you.Â
~
You go to bed that night with a fierce determination to coax your brain into revealing more, and as you settle into bed, you pop two benadryl tablets.Â
âThisâll give me some good dreams,â you think slyly, before shutting your eyes and waiting for the next clue, sleep quickly overcoming your thoughts.
You sleep soundly, waking the next morning with a crick in your neck and long, blonde hair on your brain.Â
âHoly fuck,â you whisper, your dream still playing again in your muddled brain. âItâs a girl," you say incredulously.
"Or maybe an Australian surfer dude," you say sarcastically out loud to yourself.
"God, I'm losing it," you mumble, rubbing a hand over your sleepy eyes.
Her face was blank, deluding you of figuring out who it really was, but the familiar, tinkling laughter was playing on a loop. It was making you crazy.Â
Your thoughts drift back to being tangled up with lean limbs, the soft hair flowing over slim, strong shoulders and down the girlâs bare back. You recall how you had traced a line down the line of her spine, goosebumps erupting in the wake of your touch.Â
She was strong and delicate, a dichotomy of perfection that had your thighs clenching in want and your heart clenching in need.
You sigh. It felt almost real, and now it was being ripped from you every time you woke up. It felt unnecessarily cruel, and tears prick your eyes as reality sets in. You were escaping to a fantasy world in your dreams to avoid the crushing forlornness that was settling deep into your bones.Â
Loneliness was certainly the muse, it seemed.Â
~
You meet up with your friends later that night, searching for a distraction from the blonde hair that was currently haunting every waking moment. As you cross campus to head to Aubreyâs apartment, you scold yourself as each blonde who passes you makes you glance hopefully in their direction.Â
There had to be something to jog your memory, unclouding the face you wanted nothing more to recognize. But each face elicited a disappointed pang in your stomach that spread an uncomfortable coldness through the rest of your body.Â
You shake your head as you approach Aubreyâs door, trying to rid yourself of the disheartened aura you were currently giving off.Â
You and Aubrey had become friends two years ago, and by extension, the rest of her team and her girlfriend had accepted you with open arms. You were looking forward to Caroline and Azziâs wisdom and kind smiles. And KK and Iceâs laughter would certainly be a great distraction.Â
Your mind gently drifts towards Paige before the door swings open with a large bang, and a loud, joyous cry erupts from the group of girls in the apartment.Â
You wave at them, cheeks turning pink from the attention. You scan the room, letting your brain secretly look for Paige, just to check to see if it would trigger the flashes of your dream.Â
You move towards the kitchen, joining into a heated discussion KK and Jana were having about Legos, eyes still darting around curiously.
âIâm obviously the best and fastest builder,â KK boasts, sticking her tongue out childishly at her teammate, and you giggle, taking a sip of your drink as Jana voraciously defends herself and her Lego-building abilities.
It was almost subconscious. You step back, as if you were being pulled against your will, and you hit a wall of warmth and muscle. Your heart lurches as your mind registers what was happening.Â
âDamn, ma. I gotchu, donât worry,â Paige mumbles in your ear, chuckling as you turn into a bumbling mess in her firm grasp.Â
âOh, god. Iâm sorry, P,â you whisper, not trusting your full voice. You steady yourself, proud that you at least did not spill your drink.Â
Her hand slides down your side to rest heavily on your waist, and her touch ignites a fire in your belly. Your breath hitches as you look up at her. Her hair is down for once, flowing across her shoulders, and your head spins as she laughs again.Â
You knew that laugh.
âNever gonna complain about having to rescue a pretty girl,â she flirts, and you turn your head, not wanting her to see the way her words sent your face up in a blaze of heat. The realization hits you like a crashing wave.
Your dream was about Paige fucking Bueckers.
Your friend, Paige Bueckers.Â
You were so goddamn fucked.
Maybe that wouldnât be such a bad thing.Â
~
What'd we think?? Please let me know. I might do another part if you guys are up for it.
Thanks so much for reading. I'm hoping I will be writing more frequently from now on
xoxo katy
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#paige bueckers#paige bueckers x reader#paige bueckers x you#paige x reader#uconn wbb#friends to lovers#fluff#wlw
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what i learned during my reflection periodâ.àłàż*:đ§đœââïžđ
as you may or may not have noticed, i've been hiatus for most of the month now. and i disappeared because of personal reasons, and one of those reasons being that i felt i needed to reflect. here are some things that i've learned and realized during my reflection time.
this is quite personal to me, but i wanted to kind of have a heart to heart with you guys and im sure that someone is probably struggling with what i mention in this post so i hope this is comforting...đŹđ
WHY I FELT STUCK IN MY LOA JOURNEY ;
i was literally doing the most and it felt like such a chore at the time. i would force myself to affirm in ways that felt unnatural, i was letting myself get bullied by the 3D, even though i KNOW i dont have to do a thing. i was putting way too much effort in the wrong way.
WHAT'D I DO ABOUT IT ;
i took a step back and RELAXED. i did what felt natural again and enjoyed manifesting again and because of that i've had success story after success story...đŹđ
DOING A SELF AUDIT ;
i wanted to take a second and expose toxic behaviors and patterns that i noticed i exhibit and that have started to affect not only my physical but my mental in a very very negative way.
i'd been struggling with regulating my emotions and managing them so i was a walking ball of stress đ. a beautiful ball of stress but stress nonetheless. i just felt so stuck.
WHAT'D I DO ABOUT IT ;
i went through the motions and after having a total meltdown and doing a bit of journalling i released everything, giving myself a completely clean slate once more.
i did a bit of a refresh and did miscellaneous things to make myself feel like im starting again. things like self concept work, changing the theme of my phone, taking an everything shower + bubble bath, having a pinterest makeover and getting a trim on my hair.
i forced myself to drink more water, and go for long walks not only to get some sunlight but to get my heart pumping and push myself out of the depressive rot that i had been in for months internally, but had pushed itself out as soon as summer started.
THE DEATH OF A SITUATIONSHIP ;
i got really attached to this boy đ but he was such a piece of work. like he did that hot and cold shit, but i rly rly liked him so i ignored the obvious red flags. but i got to a point where i just felt used and embarrassed. upon further reflection i think i didn't wanna let him go because he was so fine đ, like 6'5 muscular kind of fine.
no matter how handsome a guy is if he has an ugly personality or if he just treats u badly then hes not fine at all...đŹđ
WHAT'D I DO ABOUT IT ;
i went no contact. thats like the easiest way to get over someone i think lol. i went no contact and i just manifested better things for myself. like being asked out by a bunch of guys and wingstop to comfort myself đ§
also i focused on what i got out of the whole thing. i got the redirection that i wanted, PLUS i was filled with inspiration for my song writing.
SONG RECOMMENDATIONS ;
i want war (BUT I NEED PEACE) - kali uchis
eternal sunshine - jhene aiko
let you go - clara la san
needy - ariana grande
AT THE END OF THE DAY ;
i wanted to include this section as a reminder that everyone goes through shit. things happen. its okay to be affected by it and its okay to be sad. the most important thing is to not dwell on it too long. remember that you are not a victim and remember how amazing you are BECAUSE YOU ARE. you are amazing and no matter what happens, regardless of anything your gonna be okay and your gonna be in a much better place, it starts with putting one foot in front of the other...đŹđ (love honey)
#law of assumption#advice#honeytonedhottieâïž#it girl#becoming that girl#self concept#self love#that girl#it girl energy#it girl journey#mental health#mental health awareness#heart to heart#girl talk#hyper femininity#dream girl tips#dream girl#dream life#self awareness#self reflection#hiatus#healing#healing journey#wiser#princess#pampered princess#glamorous
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NSFW Alphabet
word count: 2.0k
A/N: hi besties<333 this is my first time writing so pls donât absolutely tear me to shreds (just a little bit is acceptable though). iâm planning on making a SFW alphabet for buck soon as well but some of the letters had me drawing a blank lol. also, although thereâs not really much mention of it, this is with a plus size reader in mind. as a plus size girly myself, it sucks to read x reader stories and knowing in the back of your mind that it wasnât written with your body type in mind (although thereâs nothing wrong with writers that do that of course). i just thought i would add to the plus size reader community because there are barely any buck fics and i believe in my heart that he loves plus size women. anyway, enjoy <3
warnings: smut (obviously lol), no use of y/n, fem!reader, plus size!reader, race inclusive!reader
MDNI- 18+ Only
A = Aftercare (what theyâre like after sex)
When yâall finish heâll wait a few minutes before pulling out, head buried in your neck as his breathing gets back to normal. Heâll kiss your neck and tell you how good you were for him, before finally getting up to clean you up. After that he wants to lay with you and talk, just enjoying each otherâs company, maybe yâall will make some food if you feel like it.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partnerâs)
His: Probably his arms. Heâs worked hard to be as fit as he is and he enjoys using his arms to move you/lift you while youâre having sex. He takes pride in his appearance, he knows heâs hot, but itâs an added bonus that he can lift you up and do whatever he (or you) wants.
Yours: I am of the firm belief that Evan Buckley is a thigh man. He loves how they feel in his hands, he loves how they look when you straddle him, he canât get enough. He loves to see them jiggle when you move, or when he playfully smacks them. He loves thick thighs and I will die on this hill
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
This man has a BREEDING KINK OKAY!!! He loves to cum inside you, fucking deep into you and feeling his cum fill you up. He loves watching it slowly dripping out, so he can finger it back in. If thatâs not your thing I think the next best place would be on your stomach, watching your face as he lets go, seeing the way he marks you up. He loves your little tummy, how it moves as he ruts into you, so he loves it when you let him cum all over it.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
I only call this a dirty secret because he would never tell anyone about this after the last time it happened and he got fired. He wants to fuck you in the fire engine SO BAD. He canât help but think of the way you would look as he fucked into you quickly, trying not to get caught with your dress up around your waist. He knows itâs not gonna happen, heâd never hear the end of it from anyone in his life if it did, but god he wants to so bad.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what theyâre doing?)
Girl have we watched the same show?? This man FUCKS!!! We all know (and love) Buck 1.0, and we know he knows what to do. Buck 3.0 might mean him changing into, well, not a sex addict, but that doesnât mean he forgot his training (đ«Ą). I think he understands that every woman is different, and while he might not get it exactly right the first time, heâs a fast and eager learner, watching what exactly makes you squirm and moan the most for him.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Canonically, Buck LOVES when you ride him, and I agree. He loves to watch you move yourself on him, able to grab at your thighs, and your hips, and your chest. He also loves to move you on him, squeezing your hips tightly as he sets the pace if you start getting tired or if he just feels like it.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
I mean, heâs Buck, heâs truly a golden retriever of a man and cannot stay serious for long. I think heâs a bit of a mix, he can be serious in the moment, but at the end of the day, heâs still Buck, and Buck is silly goofy.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
He keeps it nicely trimmed, carpets match the drapes. In terms of his partner, he really doesnât give a fuck. Heâs seen it all and could not care less as long as he feels the way you wrap around him so perfectly.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Buck 3.0 is a man of TASTE, but that being said, I think he only really pulls out the romance during special occasions. Most of the time this man wants to freak nasty, but sometimes when heâs tired, or just feels especially in cuddly/clingy, heâll be more romantic.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
He does it pretty often, of course not when he has the option to fuck you instead (and youâre willing, of course), but if youâre not with him and he needs a quick release, he getting right to it.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Breeding: I will scream this till the day that I die, this man wants a family more than anything. Whenever heâs inside of you, he canât help but think about how pretty youâd look with your belly all round with his babies.
Praise: Look at this pathetic little guy, he needs to be praised, he thrives on it. He loves to hear how good he feels, how good heâs making you feel. This goes both ways. Heâs in your ear immediately telling you how good you feel, how well youâre taking him, how pretty you look.
Spanking: HEAR ME OUT!! While Iâm not sure he would actually bend you over his knee (but honestly the more I think about it he might) he would LOVE to give your ass a nice little swat as youâre riding him. He loves the sound it makes, and the sound you make because youâre not expecting it. I donât think heâd ever do it hard enough to hurt too much, but I think enough to make your ass a little red would definitely be something he could get behind (lol).
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
He doesnât have a ring cutter in the kitchen for nothing<3
I think he likes to have sex at home the most, on the bed, on the couch, on the kitchen counter. You name it, he wants to fuck you there. His favourite is the counter because he loves seeing you being so domestic in the kitchen. Making dinner, cleaning up, whatever, he wants you right then and there and cannot wait. Heâll come up behind you, wrapping his arms around you as he kisses your neck before slowly turning you around to face him and lift you onto the counter to have his way with you.
While heâs moved on from having sex in public places that could (will) get him fired, heâs still into it, but in less obvious places. If yâall are in his car and youâre looking a little too good in his passenger seat, he loves an empty parking lot quickie. Front seat, back seat, whatever you want, heâd be pulling you onto him as soon as he puts the jeep in park.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Girl ANYTHING gets him going, it would take one look, one touch, one word and this man would be ready to go. I think what really gets him going though is seeing you with kids or getting along so well with the 118. This man truly just wants a silly little family and someone that can get along with the 118fam, so seeing you like that has him making up a stupid excuse to leave a little early so he can take you home and have his hands all over you.
N = No (something they wouldnât do, turn offs)
Like I said before, I donât think he would do anything to hurt you too much, other than the occasional light spanking or biting. He would also not be into any kind of age play or pet play, heâs pro kink but itâs just not for him.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
This man is a giver and I stand by this. Dear god he loves nothing more than having you spread open for him, hands tangled in his hair as he makes himself at home between your thighs. He loves having his hands gripping your thick thighs, feeling them on either side of his head. When you start to get squirmy from the overstimulation heâll place a large hand over your lower stomach, holding you still as he pushes you over the edge again.
With all that said, he will definitely not say no to getting head. He loves seeing you look up at him while youâre on your knees, trying to take all of him. Heâll keep a hand in your hair, pulling it softly every now and then, and he canât help but moan and whine as he gets closer and closer, eventually cumming down your throat as he squeezes his eyes shut.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
It depends on the day, but most of the time he likes it rough and fast. He loves a good quickie, meaning it kinda has to be more fast paced and rough, and heâs pretty easy to get riled up, so when you drop any sort of hint, heâs on you immediately and ready. On other days where heâs feeling extra clingy and lovey, heâll be more of a slow and sensual guy, but I think for the most part he loves to fuck you deep and rough.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Like I said, he loves a good quickie. A lot of the time he craves a quickie before work, needing to feel you before his long shift. I think they happen pretty often, but heâd much rather take his time with you, using his fingers and mouth before he fucks you.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
As long as thereâs clear communication heâs down to try pretty much anything, heâll do anything to make you happy (within reason). I think heâs also a risk taker (also within reason, he has to think about not getting fired again, of course). Buck 1.0 is still inside him somewhere when it comes to sex so he definitely loves a little risk, but heâs grown enough to know where the line is.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
While he would love to go as many rounds as possible, I think it would realistically be 2-3, lasting about 10-15 minutes each round. I think he would be the type to like having some time between rounds, tension still high as you talk and lay around before he's back on you again.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Once again, he doesnât have a ring cutter in his kitchen for nothing<3
He likes them, he definitely owns a few toys of his own. Vibrators, cock rings, some handcuffs or restraints, heâs very open to anything that increases yâalls pleasure.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He does it sometimes not really meaning to, like he does something and youâre likeâŠ.dear godâŠand maybe he doesnât notice the first time but the second time he does and WILL keep going until you snap. He loves the way you get all squirmy and whiny and desperate for him, knowing you want him as much as he wants you.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
So vocal!!!! Literally that meme thats like âyâall afraid to make noise in the bedroom?? i be in my girls ear likeâŠâ He loves dirty talk (on both ends) and he canât help but let out low moans when youâre clenching around him. He also loves hearing your breathless whimpers, making him feel like heâs doing a good job, and encouraging him to pull more sounds from your lips.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
If he was in a relationship during the whole sperm donor thing, it would be the longest few weeks for both of yâall. I imagine the first time he has an appointment, you make sure youâre waiting for him in a cute little matching set, knowing how excited he was to finally be buried inside you again, hearing you whine as he fills you up. Heâs so frustrated when his appointment doesnât work out that he doesnât let you know how it went, instead being unpleasantly surprised when he sees you sprawled out on his bed when you get home and unable to do anything about it. He wants nothing more than to rip your pretty little set off your body and run his hands up and down your soft curves, but he canât, and itâs torture. You apologize (but he will hear none of it because it was a lovely surprise, just shitty circumstances), and instead you change into an oversized shirt and sweatpants to enjoy a completely normal (and not sexual at all) night on the couch.
X = X-ray (letâs see whatâs going on under those clothes)
8 inches, thick, no complaints <3
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
HIGH!!! This man is thinking about sex 24/7, and if he could, his hands would be on you at all times.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Most of the time I think he stays up for a while, just hanging out and talking to you. But if he comes home after a long shift heâs fucking GONE in 5 minutes tops.
notes: likes/comments/reblogs would be much appreciated if you liked this<33
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#911 abc#evan buckley#evan buckley x plus size reader#buck x plus size reader#plus size reader#911 imagine#evan buckley imagine#buck imagine#evan buckley x reader#buck x reader
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