#but also her great uncle

[im-here-and-im-confused]

Everytime the bad batch has worked with Rex

Hunter: Captain *nods or whatever :)*

Wrecker: REX!

Tech: Captain

Omega: UNCLE REX!!!!

Echo: D A D ! ! *then like he full on launches himself at rex*

Rex: Echo! hey guys!

[greykolla-art]

Still practicing anatomy and using it as an excuse to dip my toe back into Hazbin.🤡

[millidew]

little baby wisteria

[tardisdeancas]

headcanon that Judith pretends not to know how to braid her hair just so that she can ask Daryl to do it for her and spend time with her

[quill-of-thoth]

The Saga of Great Uncle Asshole And The Priest From Hell

It's thanksgiving (in the US) so have a family gathering disaster that is old enough to be funny. Almost a decade ago, after a life of stirring up drama everywhere she went, my grandmother died. She was an unhappy woman who tried to be better to her grandkids than she was to her kids, and didn't always succeed, and she's the reason that when I smell cinnamon tic tacs they're accompanied by the reek of an illusory cigarette. This is not a sad post. This is a post about the fact that her funeral was a fucking disaster and it was ultimately about 50% her fault. See, my whole family was at one point or another catholic. Grandma really enjoyed going to church in her last years because it got her out of the nursing home, and priests have to listen when you tell them about the husband you divorced and the children who think they know better than you. Grandma did not consider the fact that the local priest she'd latched onto like a talkative moray eel in a cloud of nicotine smoke was an unmitigated bigot. She left instructions that she wanted her funeral to be at that specific catholic church and for that priest to do the sermon. It didn't occur to her that the person who would be organizing her funeral would be her gay daughter and her daughter's wife.

Shit started getting real about when the doors opened to recieve mourners. Over the course of ten minutes, my aunt summoned:

her elder sister, a paralegal

my father, who has never seen a conflict he would not cheerfully walk away from

Their younger brother, in order to swear at the priest

My mother, who hadn't had a good opportunity to fight a priest since we left our own church and was game to do it again.

This left me, the eldest grandchild, in charge of the receiving line, despite the fact that I knew approximately no one there. My brother and cousins were woodenly shaking hands and then whispering "who's that?" "I don't know." My aunt's husband was escorting the elderly and infirm up the stairs one at a time. My uncle's wife was also around but she knew even fewer people and was mostly listening at the door of the ongoing argument.

So when my brother and Boy cousin went to see if we could pry someone who knew who was related to us out of the argument and I was busy trying to convince an octegenarian that she did NOT need to figure out which of her cousins had married one of grandma's siblings before sitting down, Girl Cousin was alone at the door.

Great Uncle Asshole arrived in a storm of curses and a faux-coonskin cap. He blew past Girl Cousin, thumped his cane up the steps, and seized my hand. It was like shaking hands with an extremely strong mummy. "You look just like your mother! It's the hair, what a bird's nest. Where's your daddy? And the rest of Helen's brood."

I muttered something about them finalizing details with the priest.

"Well, they'll come see me soon enough. Bet you don't know who I am!" I didn't know who anyone was. Everyone older than me was having a verbal cage match with a member of the clergy or escorting some other old fogey to their seats, everyone younger than me had even fewer clues, and my only hope was to wrap this conversation as fast as possible. "Nope!" I said, "I haven't seen most of the people here in years." If I had ever seen them in the first place. He was going to be mad, but I figured if I had to be the bouncer I could probably take an eighty-something year old guy who breathed like the surgeon general's personal warning to smokers. I could at least shut the door on him.

"Of course you wouldn't! Your gran wouldn't have told you. I'm your great uncle Roger, and I'm here to bury the hatchet, by which I mean your grandma! She and I swore over our father's casket we'd never be under the same roof again while we both lived, and by god I kept my oath!" People were starting to stare, and it was at this moment that a thirty-something man in a suit sprinted up the stairs, and my uncle's wife, with a look of dawning horror, called her husband. "Roger's here." The middle aged folks descended immediately. Here is a snapshot of the ensuing conversation: "Roger, why don't we find you a seat?" - my mother in her best teacher voice "Glad to see you're doing well enough to make it" - My father, in his best 'good god I want to be anywhere else' voice. "Take me to the coffin! I want to see her with my own two eyes!" - Great Uncle Asshole, "And hang up my **** hat! Killed it myself!" "I'm so sorry, I didn't know he could walk that fast" - strange suit man "If you are QUITE finished, I am starting the ceremony in ten minutes" - the priest

As my father and his brother towed a grinning and cursing old man to the furthest reaches of the family section, my mother and my oldest aunt caught all the cousins up on the argument with the priest. My youngest aunt was still crying while her wife stared fixedly at the stained glass panes and periodically handed over tissues. The upshot of it all was that my aunt and her wife would be allowed to attend the funeral (on pain of the whole family literally walking out on the priest) but would not be allowed to take communion, because the priest didn't believe in their marriage. My aunt's wife had neglected to point out that, being Jewish, she wasn't going to take communion anyway. "That's fucked" said boy cousin, and the four of us immediately resolved in whispers to refuse communion as well. The priest opened his sermon with pointed remarks about the older generation's devotion and respect for the church. He continued on through psalms and all that until he got to the blessing of the eucharist and asked the family up to receive communion. My father, who hadn't taken communion since I could remember, stayed seated. My mother stayed seated. My aunts and uncles stayed seated. The cousins stayed seated. About a third of the church didn't move. "Well father, I'll have mine! These young folks think hey have all the time in the world to get right with the lord, but you and I know better!" The priest, who had been visibly hoping god would smite us, turned a wincing glare on my great uncle and the series of distant relatives and nursing home neighbors who were now shuffling up. The service dragged on. We were lined up to say goodbye to everyone, while the suit man (who would turn out to be my second cousin) bodily hauled great uncle asshole and his coonskin cap down the stairs. "I should have known my sister wouldn't manage to raise any good Catholics! Horrible woman." he said loudly as he was stuffed into a car driven by suit man's apparent twin. The priest approached as we were finally ready to leave, to ask why we were so stubborn that we deprived ourselves of communion. After all, unlike my youngest aunt, we weren't obvious sinners! "Oh, I'm Lutheran" - My eldest aunt. "I'm an atheist" - My uncle "I don't think you're qualified to bless anything." - My mother, who learned her religion primarily from a horde of socialist-leaning nuns.

With that, we left the wreck of my grandmother's funeral behind. "Helen," said my mother, very deliberately, when we were safely in the car, "would have HATED that." My dad started laughing. "Are you kidding? She would have loved that! It would have been all she complained about for years!"

[printed-paws]

I love thinking about aus where Billy raised Sam

He'd be such a bad dad it's hilarious

[megsdoodletag]

i'm doing really great at writing just about all of juno's story except the chapter that should be published next so. have some future funsies w/ Brother Cato

[veinsfullofstars]

💎 Shenanigans and storytelling! 💎

(ID: More Kirby series fanart of Shadow Kirby interacting with Daroach, with guest cameos by Adeleine, Ribbon, and Dark Meta Knight. Top right - Daroach and SK dashing away towards our left, each carrying a large sack of stolen Point Stars and laughing in mischievous glee. Middle left - Daroach darting forward and performing a Cross Claw attack, his glinting claws leaving white slash trails in an X shape in front of him. He peers up from under the brim of his hat with a cunning look as SK - wearing the Animal gear - deftly leaps up behind him with a playful roar, his own claws shining and raised to attack. Bottom right - the Wave 2 gang and SK all sitting around Daroach as he confidently regales them with tales of his life as a master thief, shown by speech bubbles displaying a rose, a dagger, a jewel, and a mask. On our right, Adeleine, SK, and Ribbon lean in with wide eyes and rapt attention, fully engrossed in the thief’s exciting stories. Meanwhile, sitting just behind him, DMK looks far less captivated, a brow cocked in skepticism behind his mask and a thought bubble with an eye-rolling face over his head, as if he knows just how tall these tales really are. END ID.)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 (you’re here!) | Compilation

Sketch started btw 12/23 - 06/24, render started 06/08/24, finished 06/24/24, updated fro color correction 11/02/24.

[taylorswiftshipsbyler]

sometimes I like to think about gay people.

[lab-gr0wn-lambs]

Ok do the thousands of Bethyl shippers realize it means they're headcanoning Daryl as a pedophile or

[algrenion]

mind me saying i wanted to spread the good word of Disco Elysium to my relatives on Facebook?

my great godmother is unfortunately reaching the end of her life and she's had several scares lately, to be real with myself and everyone else... but i think it's really endearing that i posted some of the Thought Cabinet art from the game by Anton Vill on my profile today and she replied with this, unprompted

apparently she was so bewildered by the abstract thought-cabinet illustrations that she had to keep herself from passing 😭

i love this art but more than that i love this woman so completely...

one time i asked her "how have you stayed so youthful, Marie?"

and she just cackled and said "i lie a lot"

what a gal

[nadiajustbe]

Throwing another option of HMC dynamic you might have never thought about: Mari and Princess Valeria's friendship would be an unstoppable force of power unknown to making and to prevent this from happening the universe made them exist in different words.

[kathbunny]

It's snowing so I'm so tempted to do a library monster Maxim experiencing snow oneshot

[staticymaticyyourlifeisatravesty]

Decided to make another Primarch child OC! This time it's Midna!

Currently she's Fulgrim's daughter who he has a very shitty relationship with because she's not very girlish and is more of a tomboy then anything. She has run away from home several times and at this point she has a seething hatred for her dad's seeking of perfection and doesn't want anything to do with it. Has dealt with her father having impossible standards for her for most of her life. Like yes, he is very encouraging of her arts and singing, but that's...not what she wants to do. She wants to fight!

Which is also why this woman has the thighs of a goddess that can snap you in half. Dancing is close enough to fighting, she guesses. Generally gets along pretty well with her uncles. Ferrus understands her and teaches her, even if he is somewhat grumpy. Was very close with him.

Ended up with Corvus after Fulgrim got possessed due to the Slaanesh demon having...very weird ideas of what parenting is. This was also when it was found that Midna can break a primarch's ribs. All it did was make her hate her father more and also made her feel disgusting. She knows it wasn't him, but she still hates it.

[weaverofink]

Howl Pendragon, Wizard Extraordinaire VS Howell Jenkins, Loser from Wales

[kashilascorner]

Kiroranke, babe, they can never make me hate you... Yes some of the things he did are very hard to justify like lying to Asirpa and ok listen I can understand assassinating the czar but killing Wilk over a disagreement? Now that is a bit extreme, my pal! But it's ok. I love him still