#but also didnt really care if there was collateral

[kelocitta]

You're not glossing over the suffering and trauma the Scavengers have been put through at the hands of Artificer or having them all be ok with it just because they felt sorry about it like so many AUs like to do right?

Who said anything about them feeling sorry about it 🤔Artificer has a lot of issues but if they were justified is not one of them they're grade A hater

On a more serious note: It depends. I don't like the 'genocidal maniac' style of characterization so they're pretty far from that, so if you consider anything less than that sympathetic you're not gonna find it here. They have a brain and a goal so their destruction is/was a little more targeted and less of a wildfire. They harm a lot of people in the process, and they don't particularly have any qualms with that ('Sometimes you get caught in the crossfire, get over it or punch back' mindset) but they aren't a killer for fun or a sadist or anything like that. As for what others think of them... What they did was still pretty awful, but I imagine its not something a lot of people know about. Or at least don't know that Artificer specifically did it. Not exactly something they're advertising and they also pretty much live in a toxic swamp away from the people who would be most suspicious.

[roseworth]

what direction do you think they should have gone in with jason? as in where should he be now in terms of people and what he's doing

i think winick had it exactly right green arrow #69-72 and batman & robin #23-25. he was a villain but he had a Method and a Purpose. and usually that purpose was just to fuck with batman. i loooove it when hes a villain and hes very clearly doing bad things, but hes not just indiscriminately killing people. hes doing it for a reason, hes still doing the same thing he was doing in utrh by controlling the drug trade, and even when hes doing the right thing hes being an asshole about it

i especially love the ga issues because jason doesnt even talk to batman but bruce KNOWS what hes doing and he knows its about him. i love the bruce & jason post-utrh dynamic where they've both pretty much said everything they have to say and neither of them is changing their position, so now jason is just starting fires to get attention. "ok bruce you dont want to talk to me? thats fine. ill just follow you to star city then psychologically torture a teenage girl then blow her up in front of you" icon! i forgive him! i think its so fun when red hood is a member of batman's rogues gallery and bruce feels bad every time he fights him but also he kinda cant stand him since he knows jason is only doing it to mess with him and its working. but also jason is a Greater Good person so he DOES end up working with the bats sometimes just because theyre also working on the good side

anyways the ideal bruce & jason dynamic to me is "the love was there and it made everything so much worse" because jason is doing everything for bruces attention because he loves him and wants him to care about him but hes not willing to budge on his own morals and neither is bruce. and bruce loves jason so he doesnt want to arrest him or put him in danger but also hes killing people and doing terrible things and bruce is batman so he feels obligated to. yk. stop him. and as much as they both love each other they do not like each other at all

in my mind jason doesnt really care about any of the other bats besides dick & babs just because he knew them before he died so hes willing to hang out with them but they Do Not want to see him. like in brothers in blood when jason goes hiiiii dick <3 lets hang out <3333 and dick is constantly suppressing the cain instinct. he never really talks to babs pre52 i think theyre interactions would be very similar in that jason goes hey babs ur so cool <33 and she says jason get the fuck away from me or im activating the bomb in your helmet <3

but also with steph even though he didnt know her pre-death,, i think he would like her. i can imagine him doing something very similar to what he did with mia, basically finding her and going "quit your vigilante career. join my emo band" but i think she would end up being a lot more receptive to it than mia was ! like im thinking batgirl 2009 era steph so she would not be on board with the idea of joining him since things were going well with team batgirl, but i also think that any interaction between the two of them in that era would go well and end with them getting along :)

as for everyone else. i dont think he would care about any of them. theyre just kinda collateral damage in his war with bruce. like he gets involved with them sometimes just because of their proximity to bruce, or like i said earlier that he works with them sometimes because he cares about the greater good so is willing to help them when necessary. also honorable mention to aoifa's headcanon that jason doesnt actually know tims name because he just does not care. thats canon to me

so yeah in conclusion: he should be a morally grey villain that does what he does either for the greater good, or to fuck with batman, or both. and he has complicated relationships with all of them bc he likes bruce dick and babs but also kinda hates all of them and they like but also hate him too. and the rest of them he doesn't really give a shit about

[koipalm]

my like i guess take/personal view of joker is that he's only able to help akechi because the other phantom thieves showed him kindness and love,

if we use the chain metaphor joker locked his heart away , he felt mad, betrayed and confused , and just to me joker at the start is a very just cold person,

but then he meets the thieves and little by little his chains begin to break then he meets akechi and a river suddenly overflowing, its very sudden and hard to control because he realizes he finally can allow himself to love

if that make sense fghgjkll;

i like that idea, but i also like the idea that its a two way street! im of the unpopular opinion that akechi likely wouldnt have done the same thing if he had been afforded the same thing in jokers shoes & circumstances. I say this because as joker people reaching out to you is just as important as reaching out to them and helping and spending time with them and connecting to them. theoretically in the game dynamics you could claim that joker is partially (or only) doing this to gain the confidante points and power up, but to me i only see that as a dynamic of the persona games. i really do feel storywise like joker is reaching out to others because he cares and wants to help them..... for example, even if the player themselves does not want to help a confidante, jokers dialogue options dont allow for that!

in contrast, i do think akechi was not in the worst possible position that he couldnt have "gone back" in a sense and reached out for help and helped other people too. of course, we dont have an inside look on akechi's life, but even at a more shallow look at things it does seem that he had options to turn back and he didn't. from his position as a detective, i think he would have had a lot of connections both from his work and even in the metaverse of finding people that could have helped him. i personally think that this mentality of akechis is interesting and kind of funny that he wanted revenge so bad that he was willing to forsake everything else. of course, its all up for interpretation....

but yeah, i really do think that his case was not necessarily a case of "i had to do this and there was no other choice because the adults made me" like mishima, but more of him actively, choice by choice, damning himself. of course, i dont think that his story can be divorced from adults using and abusing kids, but again, to me, PERSONALLY i see akechi as the type to throw others under the bus until the system eventually turns on him. in the end i also dont see akechi as genuinely remorseful of his actions, in that he actively grieves and regrets the lives hes taken. i think that he regrets the path that his life took and the fact that he was used in turn, but i think theres a kind of disconnect: he may regret that he killed, but i dont think he feels for the life that was lost, both with the mental shutdowns and the psychotic breaks, or the collateral damage.

even in third semester, (and while again. it can be argued that theyre shadows and not people, or that he is simply blowing off steam) it really does feel like he wants to cause harm. and i dont see a change like 'i want to hurt someone/something' -> 'im hurting someone/something because im pissed about being used by someone' BUT ONCE AGAIN. my personal opinion. i think hes a ruthless kind of guy.

in the end with all this being said, i cant be certain that in jokers shoes he would act similarly or that in better circumstances he would act as kind! that isnt to say that i think akechi was always doomed to be an asshole and he could never reach out and be kind, or hell that the system wasnt to blame for him turning out this way. but i DO think the system was not the only thing to blame! i think he made a lot of choices and felt that he had no other path or choice, so he didnt LOOK. but even at the end joker and the rest of the phantom thieves reach out despite ALL that he has done. he was irrevocably a murderer, and a hand was still extended....

[butchviking]

i dont understand how conservative desire for single sex spaces differs from feminist reason. i understand that conservatives typically think of trans people as gay plus, sure, but like. in the actual desire for single sex spaces, what difference does it make

the difference it makes is in the bills they push through and the lack of care or provision for the fallout of those bills. if conservatives were pushing through a bill that said all use of mens/womens bathrooms, shelters, changing rooms, etc should be decided on birth sex alone - what are they putting in place to enable that? birth sex is not something stated on legal documents, bc legal sex can be changed. so how does one prove their sex? what happens to transmen who pass as male? i don't think most women are going to be happy with them coming into female spaces. how do they prove that that's actually where they're legally required to be? and what DOES happen to transwomen who pass as female and are forced to use male spaces? that IS dangerous for them and i understand its not the job of feminism to care about that issue but i personally do. and people can say "well this issue doesn't affect passing trans people bc no-one will ever know" but that only works if the person is completely stealth, which not every passing trans person is. and hell, what about passing butches?? how do THEY prove they're women if we know ID doesnt always reflect birth sex? all these people are just collateral damage to conservatives and i'm not okay w that.

ok. i will level with u. thats me making smthn up on the fly to justify my position. it didnt go very well at first so i gave up, but then i thought on it some more nd went back to it and i think that response does stand on its own now. at first i kind of thought "well, i guess this is the one issue we DO pretty much agree on" but the way conservatives do things is still always going to leave a lot of people caught in the middle and they definitely don't care enough to make sure those people are considered in their lawmaking.

however. u know the real answer? like the instinctive gut answer? because i dont fucking trust them. i dont fucking trust them and i dont trust them bc ive seen OTHER shit theyve pulled in this vein. like the anti-transition bills that have given no consideration to people who are ALREADY transitioning and would suddenly cut off their hrt or blockers if they don't meet the new requirements; like the bill against gender non-conformity in public spaces sold to the public as being about protecting children from predators within drag communities; like the combination of the attempt to reclassify authorising a child to transition as a sexual abuse with the introduction of the death penalty for sexual abuse. i do not fucking trust them and i know they do not have womens or childrens interests at heart i know this all just comes from them finding transgenderism degenerate and i do not think any good can come from supporting them bc they are always trying to slip smthn in under the radar they are always presenting laws to the public as one thing but wording them just right so that they actually have a whole different effect than people expected.

also, as a sort-of sidenote: given that regular ass people don't actually vote on laws, just elect people to do that, what would supporting their bills actually mean? voting for conservatives who will pass anti-gay anti-trans anti-woman pro-gender laws in the hope that they also throw a "oh and womens spaces for women only" in there? promoting the politicians who proposed the bills? i guess there's contacting state representatives and asking them to vote yes or no on a specific bill, but i get the impression most people don't really do that and more just make a public show of support for such-and-such a bill, which also promotes the party and the politician.

[oetscop]

i find it kinda interesting that people find the whole. thing the counselor says in petscop 22 like..good?? is that. does that make sense lmao

idk its probably just me but after really thinking about the whole "to catch her, you had to lie" thing in care NLM's description i just. dont trust it. especially since its worded very fantastically. it sounds like the sort of wording youd use to lie to a kid, and also kinda has??? the sorta. rainer word choice...? like uhhhh "its yucky outside" and telling belle hed be out of her hair "forever and ever." id brush that off as him just talking to kids like that, but hes very clearly using toneth's description as almost a diary. or just a place to vent. so idk

hes definitely aware that hes a terrible person and so is everyone else in the family. he isnt exempt from that just because hes trying to out marvin for being fucked up. hes honestly not even doing much in that regard since its clear that anna is Aware. plus he, y'know. kills himself in their fucking bathroom. he cares but he also doesnt give a fuck all at once and is very clearly trying to cause damage to marvin since any other method didnt work. he doesnt give a fuck about collateral.

and its kinda obvious that the counselor thing didnt actually happen. we are definitely reading rainers words. the same guy making this game thats contributing to the ongoing thematic objectification of care. hes not above lying.

[princemonday]

runext finale thoughts:

weird asf group name and weird asf lineup. like idk why two of them are there but im not gonna send them hate and if they have good music ill still stream even though my faves didnt all make it. yk like a normal person would 🤷🏻‍♀️

so when i heard that korean votes would be used for the top two i knew exactly what hybe was up to. they wanted wonhee to debut. it probably would have been way closer...maybe fourth or fifth place if they used international votes and they didnt want to risk it. whether they meant to make jiwoo collateral or not is up for debate though.

i really think the judges just didnt like jiwoo bc what the fuck. i think hybe (and, consequently, the judges) knew who would be top two if they made the finale votes mostly korean and in doing so planned for the other four to not be jiwoo.

so i kinda predicted jiwoo falling out but jeemin? wow. i didnt expect that. she was never in my picks but she seemed to have that factor. i thought she and youngseo would be top two with youngseo being first and when i found out about korean voting, i assumed jeemin would take yunah or moka's spot. i cant even begin to theorize how that didnt happen.

iroha and wonhee were the judges favorites. this was clear as day. iroha was very much favored by the judges. she got second place on her team in given and taken and third overall after the bang! performance (stages where she made mistakes.) i think irohas personality is very charming and if theres no jeemin or jihyun we need a main dancer like her but shes still very young to me and her vocals arent very developed (see money and shut down performances.) wonhee is honestly a topic i dont want to discuss again but since im going over all the winners heres my opinion plainly:

shes too young. she trained the least out of everyone. she has a constant lost duck expression. she (like ena) had the potential to train some more and become a banger main vocalist (her tone is very pretty.) she fumbled the fearless performance. she ate the ssfwl and feel special performances up (showing her rapid growth.) her debut definitely robbed jeemin and jiwoo but the hate for her is absolutely disgusting. thats all.

youngseo....yeah i mean whos surprised? not really much to say other than good for her. i guess i dont like her voice but that doesnt mean its bad. she deserves it even though she was never in my picks. i will say though that she has tsuki syndrome. which ive classified as having very intense charisma and facial expressions so everyone thinks youre the perfect example of stage presence. over the top expressions doesnt mean talented idol. of course youngseo is talented also but if i had to point to the contestant with the best stage presence and expressions it would be jeemin no doubt. (neither of these girls were ever in my picks so im being v unbiased here)

moka....will rule the world. so proud of her. eat sleep moka.

yunah being sixth is wild. i think they just did that for shock value. shes the mood maker yall. live laugh yunah.

lastly minju....again good for her. very versatile and professional. her vocal tone is the most unique in the show and if they don't have jiwoo they'll need a stand out vocalist like her. (still hate that she had the entire i dont care performance while hyewon had like 3 lines even with voicing her uncertainty but we move on)

heres what my lineup out of the final 10 wouldve been vs my predictions vs what happened

my ideal lineup (in order from first to sixth place)

jiwoo, yunah, moka, jeongeun, minju, iroha

my predictions for the final lineup:

youngseo, jeemin, minju, wonhee, jiwoo, and moka or yunah (without korean popularity vote. with it jeemin and wonhee would switch places)

the final lineup:

wonhee, youngseo, minju, iroha, moka, yunah

really hope to see the other girls in other projects soon. esp jiwoo. justice 4 jiwoo. ill make another post going over my thoughts of the eliminated contestants soon </3

[mabeysomeclasspecting]

You're still doing requests? Awesome! Can you classpect mine 🥺 no need to rush with it ofc, pace yourself! Uhh, lets see.

1. What are your interests/hobbies?

i have a lot of interests but if i have to put a pin on them, its always about exploring something new. watching a mysterious internet arg, writing down worldbuilding ideas, getting myself lost because my hometown start to get too samey, exploring abandoned buildings, and watching plays and backyard gigs. which is ironic because i live in a small-ish town, there is not much excitement or exploration to be done in here, but i make do. other interests of mine would be music. i like music that are weird, distorted, and just off. i love it when the rhythm is a discordant mess. however, just because i seem to go out a lot doesnt mean im the social type. i mean, i try to be, i kinda have to get used to keeping secrets and doing things all alone to get some freedom / agency in life.

2. How Do You See Yourself?

Honestly it depends on which character i latched on to that week. I dont really care for having an internal self. Whatever serves what i want best is my current self. But, turns out im not that good as a social chameleon. So, one thing I can recognize about myself is i don't quit and give up on things even when I should. When I want things, I might not be very motivated to get it, but I'll always work on it no matter how long it takes or how many times it has failed. Oftentimes I worry that im too slow and that no matter how much patience and devotion i have to my wants, I just dont have enough energy to actually get it. Or i'll end up ruining myself in the process.

3. How do you think others see you

Unforgettable. Striking. strange and offputting. Acquaintaces say im okay but a little aloof/strange. My family say i work hard but i have no sense of self preservation, tbh i think theyre biased. My friends think im smart and a little impressive. But closest besties, despite my best efforts, see that i used to be super sheltered and inexperienced in social settings. its terrible!

4. How do you interact with your friends?

Hm, depends on what kind of friends. if theyre the hangout friend, i'll just sit back and occasionally make them laugh with my dumb antics and give out some trivias to make things fun and easy. If theyre the deep conversation friend, i would try to impress them with how much i know. its overcompensating i know.

Its not all roses with me though. Some of my friends did say i can be unsympathetic to their problems. which is surprising to them because they thought im nice. i didnt mean it, i guess i just dont get why people just lament instead of finding a solution. its so... helpless. i dont want to be my younger self who let himself get trapped in his own house and miss out on so much life because theyre too afraid to act. so why people do nothing but feel sad when awful things happen is beyond me. And that comes out harsh when people are used to my lighthearted, easygoing self.

5. What's Important To You

I need to feel good about myself. And that's very much reliant on me working for my dreams. Not some escapism or fantasy. I also want change, a kinder world, justice. I want everyone to get whats been stolen from them. However, I spent so much time and wasted so many opportunities because of that dream, it almost feel like its holding me back from permanently feeling good for myself. but when i think about it, im not angry or disappointed. I like to see the silver lining in everything i guess. but there's limits to this. Yknow the phrase "fighting the good fight?" i think, its not enough to fight, you have to win, no matter how many rules you break or how many things become collateral damage. doesnt matter if youre in the right side of history or how many times you prove bigots wrong if you keep losing and dying. and thats a matter of action and bravery, not morals.

6. Describe the ideal you, what kind of person do you strive to be?

Impressive. Capable and competent at everything. Scares people but in a good way. Get shit done. Have sick-ass tattoos, have lots of friends, Can be relied on for everything. And have traveled to so many places and get so many extraordinary experiences.

(note : i wanted to send you an ask a few months ago, but there was a sudden blackout in my area right after i hit send. pretty sure its gone to the void! but just to make sure, if you see an ask thats similar in content to this (i remember saying i like internet horror, args, music, and urban exploration!) its probably mine! you dont have to answer that)

and my signoff emojis : 🫧🌪️

Hello! I definitely think that ask got lost, but I'm happy to classpect you now :)

Aspects: Breath, Heart, Time

Classes: Prince, Thief, Maid

You seem like a solid Prince of Breath to me! I feel pretty certain, but play around with those other ones if that doesn't feel right

Hope this helps!

[baeshijima]

I NEED TO WATCH THE DONGHUA i told myself that i will... and never got around it 😭 i could read the entire novel in like 10 days including a one day break (haha... blackwater arc...) and yet i cant get myself to watch a single episode 😞 duality of a man

hualian is rly just having their little love story full of yearning and pining whle everyone else around them suffer </3 they didn't want us to be happy for too long i fear. we had to feel xie lian's pain or something because that man didnt catch a break in his life either 😭😭

YEAH RIGHT like i understand he xuan. i really do. i would be absolutely furious if someone just stole the life i was meant to have?? not to mention the terrible TERRIBLE fate his family and he xuan himself suffered... no revenge would be enough ngl </3 which really makes me wonder if he felt any kind of true satisfaction after doing it??? the man that ruined his life is dead and his life purpose has been fulfilled, but also sqx suffered a LOT because of that and... man he was innocent at the end of the day!! how do you move on from that!! especially since his relationship with sqx was already so complicated...

it makes me think how swd and hx are kinda similar honestly AAAA moving past the obvious that both are related to water (and funnily enough both sink ships but for different reasons), they both were willing to do a lot for people they care about... swd with the entire fate switching thing to ensure sqx lives a good life, hx with all the things he did during his mortal life to try to help his family... and they both kept things hidden from sqx 😔

DONT EVEN REMIND ME OF THIS AUGHHHH "you called the wrong person" man do you want me to cry. i think yes HAHSHSH IT PAINS ME SO BADLYYY absolutely heartbreaking moment, heart shattered into many pieces dont talk to me im unwell!! i haTE IT THEREEE

THE ART IS SO PRETTY BUT IT HURTSSSS literally cries and evaporates. sqx come on come here im gonna give you a hug MANY HUGS HE NEEDS THEM!!!! need to have a talk with mxtx because he went through all that FOR WHAT

... 😃😃 i do not wish to be a part of this symphony bye bye! count me out! i need to know what inspired that person to do this and have a nice talk why would they do that 😭😭😭 theres nothing sparkles dolphins happiness about beefleaf only despair anguish suffering and my tears

PLS i watched the donghua first when it first released on netflix like a year or two ago and then discovered there was a whole set of novels for the series and my life hasnt been the same since 🧍‍♀️ but yes same here... i really should just set aside time to reread the novel and refresh everything despite all the tears i most definitely will be shedding for the characters ;w;

fr 😭 honestly very much in love with the audio and art choice for the hualian drama tho bc it has both that romantic devotion of hua cheng + xie lian coming to terms with the fact he wanted this, as well as that eerie feeling that smth isnt quite right mainly with hua cheng and his condition + the dark stylistic choice of the art... huhu love it so much .... also qi rong was so 😭😭 he was such a menace i was crying

NO BC??? he xuan having to watch all of that happen to him and his family, watch someone else take the life meant for him, as his whole world comes crashing down from the unjustified deaths of his family and then himself, and then having to watch that person who ended up living his life be so carefree and innocent not knowing what it cost to live as such??? man. i genuinely cannot even begin to fathom how much pain and anguish and grief is in him. and then growing to care for that person, or at least the unyielding kindness in which they showed, must have been another blow to his grief and everything he stood for ;w;

and gosh my baby shi qingxuan basically being the collateral in this scenario and still being willing to accept death as punishment despite not being the one at fault, but if it meant atoning for the sins /him/ and his brother committed to hx and his family then he would go through with it.... and him rather choosing the option to sacrifice himself and switch his fate for one of the other souls as opposed to beheading shi wudu, arguing that its better to live a worse life then die a good life while swd is trying to get him to commit the alternative option bc a life without his brother is a life worse than death itself and he would rather die than see sqx become what would have been, only to switch up after and try to take them both down together bc he was convinced sqx wouldnt be able to live 😭

AND THEN when hx literally um. yknow. to swd arm to separate him from sqx while. um. yknow. despite wanting them both to suffer in some way, but ended up showing that, in his own way, he didnt want sqx to be in pain. sqx screaming crying and basically throwing up definitely moved him even tho he said he wouldnt be moved, and it showed esp during that scene 😭 i think swd picked up on that too bc he started laughing and taunting hx ("what are you laughing at?"//"i laugh at you, thinking you have the upper hand!") into killing him so that sqx wouldnt have to, betting on the fact he could create a third option by using the care hx undeniably has for sqx... he may have been a shitty person, but swd was a great brother ;w;;

also the fact that hx was literally in a lose-lose situation bc he gave them two options and told them they could only pick from those, only to lose composure when swd tried to take both him and sqx down, then got taunted by swd laughing at his misfortune and getting the last laugh while sqx is desperately begging him to stop talking and provoking hx, ultimately leading into hx killing swd himself, and then having to see sqx lose his will to live.... ourgh.... and dont even get me started on the fact he couldnt even move on as a ghost despite fulfilling his meaning for existence (the revenge), and how sqx is basically whats kept him tethered down but he can only watch from the sidelines as sqx lives his life... they shouldve just talked gdi.......

swd: he (sqx) really knew nothing from beginning to end! hx: that's why he's even more hateful! why doesn't he know?!

;w;;

hx: i gave you a chance!

the chance(s) in question probably not even being made clear to sqx and it was just hx assuming that sqx would know it was a "it's me or your brother" kinda choice but each to their own hx ;w;

swd: ...but qingxuan's crime is not punishable by death, you... hx: then who among my family of five is guilty? who should die?

WHEN I SAY THIS BROKE ME I MEAN THIS SHATTERED ME !!! swd saying sqx doesnt deserve to die and hx retaliating with the "then did my entire deserve their unjustifiable deaths?!" will never not destroy me and having heard it in the ad... its a whole other type of depression on god

hx: do you have anything to say? sqx: ...i want to die. hx: dream on.

FUCK THEMMMM I HATE IT HERE WHY CANT WE HAVE NICE THINGS WHY DO THEY HAVE TO BE SO TRAGIC WHY COULDNT HX JUST FULFIL HIS REVENGE BY MARRYING SQX BC WE ALL KNOW THAT WOULD PISS SWD OFF THE MOST BUT NO THEY HAD TO GO THROUGH THIS ARC AND THE WORST PART IS ALL THEIR ACTIONS ARE JUSTIFIABLE TO WHAT THEY WENT THROUGH AND OURGHGDFG

laughing through the pain like genuinely. it was so foul to have the hualian teehee but also not really teehee but still very much teehee scene and then go straight into beefleaf depression what is life what is the point of life why am i here just to suffer scene...

(we ignore the one para of hualian compared to the beefleaf essay bc hualian is a whole other bag i am not ready to open with everything they have going on 🧍‍♀️ i need another five years at least to mentally and emotionally recover from the blackwater arc audio drama 🧍‍♀️)

[lunasmusemenagerie]

name : Angel Cortez (typcially goes by the americanized version of his name, so just Angel, like the creature. though Drake will use the correct pronounciation with him.)

Race: human fae hybrid (possible were)

type: OC

FC: Manu Rios

background:

Angel grew up on the outskirts of the Summer Court, son of a fallen warrior from Oberon's king's gaurd and a healer. he learned from his mother at a young age a small amount of healing magic, as well as what plants, roots, and other flora could be used for ailments. during a raid on the outer courts, he was taken, his mother killed for trying to stop them. taken by hunters to be used as they saw fit, often used as bait or as a Judas Horse for other fae or creatures they were hunting. when he was 14, he been drugged and cut enough to draw blood, snared in a trap as bait for a shifter who'd found a taste for human flesh.

He was out there for hours, until the shifter appeared, a giant Mountain lion. without warning it attacked him, claws digging into his sides and teeth piercing his neck. it would have eaten him alive if the creature hadn't been put down. they removed the binding collar off of him in order to let his healing abilities kick in and drug him back to his holding area, where he was allowed to mostly heal. however, the marks on the back of his neck never went away, leaving scars in its wake. come full moon, he found himself more violent, more animalistic... he was shifting. the attacking fae wasnt just a shifter, but a were, and that night of the first shift his 'handlers' had their hands full.

being now a more unstable force than before, more erradic and harder to control, he was stabbed by an iron blade and left to die, seeing as he was more collateral than a tool for them. he managed to get himself patched up and stable, before being found by park rangers, where he was questioned. he was homeless, without a family, and had obviously been abused. after his stay in the hospital, he was sent into foster care, his story being heard by a high class family. They took him in, and while they were loving for the press, they really had not much to do with him behind closed doors, as long as he boosted their standing within their social circle and within the media, they didnt care too much. His new 'family' sent him to Ravencrest, to finish out his schooling, hoping to get him into Blackwell College later on.

he became a part of the group that Axel Thomas, Mattheo Abbott and Fletcher Smith were apart of, but, due to his distrust of Johnathan, stayed mostly out of situations, enjoying the fringes of the group. it was also during his tenure there he met with Drake, and struck a deal with him once he got out of Ravencrest, though, he'd still provide information on any shifters or fae he could find while at the school.

Angel is 18-24, and is very, very gay.

[mxlfoydraco]

WAIT SNAPE IS THE ONE WHO CURSED GEORGE WEASLEYS EAR OFF?! I didn’t remember that but oh my god reading that gif me like a bus and my emotions are bruised by the impact. I get that he had to act as a spy, but the fact he would use a spell like that on a literal teenager??? One he’s known since George was 11? Even if he did think it was Harry, how is that any better? He could have used any other spell that wouldn’t cause permanent damage and still been believed as a spy! Gosh, that’s just so painful to think about making the decision to cast a spell like that which could have been deadly, as we’ve already seen evidenced by Harry/Draco’s scene. What if he had killed him? Was it just a lucky miss that he DIDNT kill him with the spell? That seems to have hit a little too close for comfort if he wasn’t aiming to cause major damage or death. Great, now I need to reread the book so I can be angry at Snapes decisions all over again. (Pirating it ofc, I’m not giving JKR a single cent)

That scene is explained in The Prince’s Tale;

“Now Harry was flying alongside Snape on a broomstick through a clear dark night: He was accompanied by other hooded Death Eaters, and ahead were Lupin and a Harry who was really George. . . . A Death Eater moved ahead of Snape and raised his wand, pointing it directly at Lupin’s back —

“Sectumsempra!” shouted Snape.

But the spell, intended for the Death Eater’s wand hand, missed and hit George instead —”

If you’re asking for my opinion, rising to and staying in the position Snape held can’t be achieved without getting blood on your hands. By then he’s basically Voldemorts right hand man. Imagine the things he’s seeing and having to do while also knowing that he’s executing the plan that’s going to kill the son of the only person he ever cared about as sacrifice.

I do believe that he’s basically shut off at that point. He can’t afford to care about collateral damage even if he could. The only thing that matters is that Harry survives because it’s not the time yet. I’ll give him this one, he acted to save Remus despite the circumstances.

Though it can also be argued that he only did it because Remus’ Harry could’ve been the real one. My own opinion again, he owed Remus for actively trying to ruin his life by exposing him for years and then doing it.

[queerautism]

hi dont mind me i just want to share my personal experience with "transmedicalism". my entire life i wished i was deaf, i just didnt care for noise and wished it would all just go away, and i wanted to have an excuse to not talk. then i heard of transmedicalism and how "bad" these people were and even though i related strongly to their feelings i felt ashamed. Now, years later, im learning i am probably autistic and that is most likely why i felt that way. tbh i still wish i didnt have to hear but now im able to understand why and just, idk where i was going with this just thought id share. (also,,, feeling like you are meant to be disabled or shouldnt have a leg is a disability in and of itself, i am pretty sure there is even a official diagnosis for it, but i dont remember the name)

Do you mean "transabled" stuff? That makes a lot of sense, and I really appreciate you sharing your experience. It's exactly what I was talking about. I feel like certain people are happy to abandon you as collateral damage in their pursuit of ideological purity, but I hate that idea. You deserve compassion and community.

Also, I use Loop earplugs and they're super helpful :)

[ceranovis]

(Tossing ideas at this under the cut, feel free to take any pieces you like or ignore my ramblings entirely)

Merc Fit works for the Federation, which the Favela 5 was originally formed for the sake of taking down.

Maybe they all used to work for the Federation?

What if Mike is the only one of them with super powers? Maybe a lab experiment exploded on him and Pac one day-- Pac lost a leg in the blast, but Mike developed powers, and they both suddenly share a psychic link.

Sometimes Pac is angry about how unfair that day was. Sometimes he thinks the reason he didnt get abilities is because he's really just not all that special or good at anything, compared to Mike (and everyone else he loves).

They knew Cellbit and Felps before the accident, they just worked in different departments. After the accident, Pac ended up spending a lot of time with Felps-- Felps' chill attitude would be a good counterbalance for his own complicated feelings about Mike in the aftermath. Especially with them just starting to navigate the brain link thing-- it's not Mike's fault, he knows, but even just looking at him hurts sometimes, nevermind suddenly having Mike constabtly there for even his most private thoughts. Maybe Felps helps him out with his physical therapy as he got used to the prosthetic leg, which is one of the times he's feeling the most frustrated and vulnerable and liable to be bitter towards Mike in ways he doesn't want to be.

Meanwhile Cellbit, smart guy that he is, figured put something happened to Mike too and then helps Mike figure out how to get a handle on his new powers, in secret. Cellbit knows what the Federation would do with Mike if they found out-- maybe he actually intends on giving Mike up to them, once Mike is a little more polished, a better tool, and then reaping the reward from turning over such a valuable asset.

But then Felps gets a little too close to a Federation secret, and they spirit him away. And with that, all bets are off. Cellbit is willing to tear the Federation apart to get his friend back, and he's got the perfect weapon-in-training to do it. Pac convinces Mike to work with Cellbit on this, because he wants to save Felps too.

Shortly after the 3 of them defect, Bagi follows her brother. She's not going to let him run off and make an enemy of the Federation without her, no matter how hard he tries to keep her at a distance. She's also, quite frankly, worried about the collateral damage he might cause to their relatively innocent former coworkers if she's not around to reign him in.

The do eventually save Felps. Since they made themselves Federation enemy #1 in the process, they decide to say "fuck it" and stay together as a team to stop the Federation's machinations and eventually bring it down entirely.

Mike is their public face, because his powers make him pretty conspicuous anyways and he can go head-to-head with the Federation's goons (maybe he's got a whole anarchy theme going for his hero persona? Anti-hero persona?). Pac is the Man In The Chair, aided by the brain link for field communication with Mike and his own technical capabilities. Cellbit does a lot of their strategic planning, with Bagi providing a counter-balance and alternatives to Cellbit's more sociopathic tactics; they both do some field work too, usually more lowkey stealth sorts of things. Felps is less active on the Federation-fighting side; he deals more with the back end, the things that keep everyone else functioning when they get too wrapped up in the mission to take care of themselves or each other. He keeps the spiritual/emotional health of the team from declining they don't call him Saint Felps for nothing.

After the Felps incident, the Federation starts hiring mercs to protect their assets as it's pretty clear their own security isn't going to stand up to the Favela 5. Fit & Foolish are brought in around the same time.

Technically Mike and Felps are the only confirmed Favela 5 associates, the rest of them are just suspected by the Federation based on their connections to Mike and Felps and the extremely suspicious timing with which they left Federation employment.

Pac, being the Oracle of the group, would absolutely know who Fit is long before Fit had even seen his face outside of a Federation suspect file.

Maybe he first engineered running into Fit because he wanted to prove he could be useful for more than just chair-duty. He can do field work too, right? He can collect intel on their enemies too. He's totally stealthy.

Fit clocks him immediately.

It's not every day that someone clearly linked to the elusive underground vigilante group you're supposed to be taking out just walks right up to you in the grocery store and starts making small talk about the price of mangos (Pac looks cuter in person a bit different from the old company ID picture Fit saw in his file, but it's defintiely the same guy). He figures he can use Pac to get to the rest of them, so he plays along with the weird conversation and manages to get Pac's number and a promise to get mango smoothies together sometime.

Neither of them expected to actually be charmed while attempting to extract information out of the other. Their equally pisspoor espionage attempts kind of just turn into increasingly honest flirting.

Fit eventually confesses to suspecting Pac and trying to use him, because he wants to actually date but can't do that in good concious if he doesn't come clean. Besides, they've been dancing around each other for ages and, from what Fit has pieced together, Pac left the Federation when Mike blew off his leg in an unsanction experiment to gain power-- even of they were close before, there's no way Pac is actually helping the guy who did that to him. Right? Right. Totally unfair to level suspicion on him for that.

Pac knows it's going to be A Problem, but like... Fit is a really sweet guy, actually! Not even that evil! Haven't we all done bad things sometimes? They all worked for the Federation once too, they cant really hold that against Fit, right? It's not like Fit's attempts at murdering Mike were anything personal. He'll totally come around when he hears their side of things, and he'll definitely forgive Pac for the teensy bit of deception once he does. And it'll be even easier for Fit to forgive his boyfriend!

So Pac conveniently leaves out that Fit was right to suspect him, and they start officially dating. And Pac starts laying the groundwork for easing Fit (and his team) into the truth.

Pac just knows Mike and Fit will get along great, if they aren't actively trying to rip each other apart. He's been very careful to only think of Fit as 'the hot guy from the grocery store' or 'my boyfriend' when the link with Mike is strong enough for Mike to hear specific thoughts. Originally that was just so Mike didn't catch on to his attempts at spying and try to stop him, but it's come in handy now. He starts thinking about all the parts of Fit he knows Mike would appreciate in connection to the boyfriend thing, when he knows Mike can hear it. And also redirecting Mike from doing things that would put him in direct conflict with Fit while they're both on duty (Poor Foolish suddenly has a very bad lucky, constantly running into Mike instead)

Meanwhile he works on subtly persuading Fit to start questioning the Federation more. Dropping hints that the Federation was really what hurt him the most. Mentioning that he's spoken to Mike since the incident (though not exactly how much), and maybe doesnt blame Mike as much as Fit assumes he does. After all, forgiveness is super important right, Fit? Especially when people hurt you unintentionally? They can still care about you a lot! Love you, even! Right, Fit?

And then, when Pac thinks they can probably see each other without immedietely attacking, he sets up the dinner and crosses his fingers under the table. Fit and Mike are remarkably well-behaved, considering.

superhero mike and merc fit are arch enemies pac is mike’s civilian sidekick and he told mike he’s been seeing this guy for months mike couldn’t give less shit and when pac finally introduced his boyfriend to him over a dinner both mike and fit are both shocked and are fighting every time pac turns around

[isolated-bug]

Hi! I was wonder why did Jinx decided to kill Marcus? What was Jinx's plan to back then? Does Silco knew about Jinx's plan to murder enforcers? Did she intent to take back a gemstone from Ekko/Marcus? If Jinx already hate Caitlyn why didn't she kill her by use a bomb bug? I'm so curious how much Jinx can control all of bomb bugs like did it already settled target to all of enforcers? It's look like bugs attached to body part Armour of enforcer like a magnet? Is that why Caitlyn/Ekko/Vi who doesn't have a armour/anything magnetic can survive the mini bomb bugs? My apologies for bad English 🙏🙏 Thank you!

Your english is perfect and I love questions and this one is really great!!! uhhh my answer gets really long.. sorry >.< i have so many thoughts on this hahaha So, lets start with Silco because i think his experience of the bombs on the bridge is the easiest to get through. I dont think Silco knew about Jinxs intent to be there at all. This scene happens pretty much immediately after Jinx stabs him in his face and he insists he needs her to complete the weapon. Silco has expressed frustration with her killing Enforcers previously. In League of Legends lore her nickname is "The Loose Cannon" and i think this is a good way of Arcane showing that. We hear Finn also say "your dog is off her leash" and Marcus say "you said you could control her!" I think Silco ultimately knows he has zero control over Jinx but his fatherly love allows for a blind eye and only mild frustration to the chaos she leaves behind. Taking all of this into consideration, I think Silco had no idea she would be on that bridge or what she planned to do while there. Which is why when he arrived he looked around, soaking it all in, shocked and trying to figure out how to clean up the mess, until he saw Jinx laying on the ground and his main objective became her health. Lets talk bombs and then get more into Jinx's intent/perspective. The bombs are repurposed from the Progress Day mechanical butterflies that were released all over the streets and were programmed to fly around and land on people as part of the spectacle.

I dont think Jinx really adjusted the flight path of the butterflies after loading them with explosives.. i believe all she really did was change the behavior once they land. Making them trigger the ignition sequence and not continue the flying behavior. My thinking about this is because we dont see any control devices on Jinx and i really feel like the chaotic outcome of not knowing fits her style more. I feel like she never really plans anything out that much in advance. She comes across to me as a big ideas person but.. execution could go any which way and may or may not follow the original idea. Chaos and destruction are her goals ultimately. We also see while she is walking on the bridge after the explosion that there are some butterfly bombs which landed on the ground and didnt detonate; she steps on one as she walks in the destruction. I think this confirms she wasnt individually controlling each bomb and it was more so just a swarm landing all over. My guess is that Cait got lucky and only had one land on her leg. As for Marcus, Jinx doesnt like him. Irrefutably. He is the Enforcer sheriff. Jinx certainly likes him even less after connecting the dots that he is the one who locked Vi away in Stillwater and caused her years of agonizing pain and questions and loneliness. I dont think Jinx necessarily intended for Marcus to be dead, she wasnt specifically gunning for him in this scene, but I think she didnt care at all if he lived or not. All Enforcers are expendable collateral damage to Jinx. I *do* think that Jinx wanted the bombs exploding on the bridge to be a full wash of any living thing on it. Including Vi, Cait, and Ekko. With it being such a large mass of bombs, she could dissociate from the murder a bit more and it would be less... real to her than targeting them individually. So, Jinxs mindset going into the bridge scene: Personally i think she was there as a bit of a test.. still grappling with whether or not Silco's statement is true "Shes not here for you, shes here for the gem". Jinx is staking out the bridge, primed to attack just in case the betrayal Silco speaks of is true. But i think she was hoping the evening will be uneventful.

When Jinx sees Vi, Cait, and Ekko she feels like Silcos words and her paranoia is confirmed. So she releases the bombs hoping to take out everyone present and get the gem back. Ready to build Silcos weapon and start a war. Jinx's mindset after the explosion: She is clearly still upset and mildly dissociated. She hums the song she sang as a little girl back on the bridge when her parents were dead. She even imitates the Enforcers cruelty when she shoots the survivor. But the entire time she has a sorta... flat/disinterested expression with a bit of disgust. Almost like as if she were walking down an alleyway full of garbage. Until she sees Vi and Cait. Alive. She gasps, panics, and shoots. I feel she truly wanted them to have died to the bombs. Even Vi, honestly. She had expected they would be among the corpses and she doesnt emotionally know how to handle that they survived and her sister has now seen her destruction at its worst. The cruelty of Jinx. Now hear me out, Jinx has been thinking all these years that her sister was dead. It would be easier for her to cope with her sister being dead again than feeling abandoned again. So I dont think she wanted to kill Vi proactively out of any cruelty or anger but more as a personal defense mechanism to not feel abandoned. This is why i think she panics so much and shoots at them. If her sister wasnt going to abandon her before the explosions, she certainly would after. Jinx was so afraid of this that shooting at them seemed like the better solution. I hope that is helpful or insightful and let me know if you have any additions or differing opinions! I love talking about Arcane with people haha

[actualbird]

luke pearce comes back from his 8 year disappearance a father, for he has adopted a child

wc: 877

disclaimer: this idea is not up for grabs for other ppl to write it or use it. i will write this as a full fic myself, i just wanted to wordbarf ideas out first

so you cant convince me that luke "orphan boy" pearce would NOT adopt, if ever he were to have a child.

i know the whole "my parents died when i was very young" thing doesnt pop up much in luke's stories, nor does he express too many negative emotions on it, but im sure that if he ever were to make the choice to raise a kid, he'd want to adopt. he'd want to give another kid who lost their parents a life and happiness they didnt think they could get anymore.

but choice isnt really a factor in luke becoming a father. he couldnt say no. he wouldnt.

still figuring out the exact PLOT of how the child HAPPENS but it's linked to NSB stuff. maybe the kid was collateral leftover from a mission and luke was the one who did this mission (AND NO HE DIDNT KILL THE PARENTS, somebody else did, somebody evil, and luke kills THAT evil person), luke was the one the kid immediately imprinted onto and by the time luke got back to NSB HQ, the little girl was clinging to his leg fiercely, the blood splatter on both of them be damned.

"luke saved me," she said, quiet yet fierce. luke gave her his real name because there's no way he's ever going to lie to a child. "so he's mine now!"

everybody finds her adorable and finds luke's immense panic about the situation adorable but it's aaron who finally manages to get the little girl ("my name is evie," she giggles, grabbing for the lollipop aaron is bribing her with. "gimme that and i'll let you talk to luke alone!") to get some snacks from the vending machine with his spare change.

aaron is the one who watches luke have a bit of a breakdown over it all. evie said that luke saved her, and he did, and he cant even bear to think what would have happened if he got to her too late (but he has to think about how he was too late to save her parents). luke is 20 years old and this kid looks at him like hes her entire world, and right now whether he likes it or not, thats true. because her real world was ripped away from her and luke has to pick up the pieces and mend them together into something soft and safe and happy.

"the NSB will place her somewhere shitty," luke says, clenching his fists. "you know they dont give a damn about what happens to people like her. the mission is done."

"but you cant be the one to do this," aaron tells him. "at the very least, you cant do it alone."

"i cant," luke sighs. evie starts walking towards the two of them, a pile of candybars in her arms, and luke lets himself smile. "i'll need all the help i can get."

anyway long story short, luke adopts evie. aaron and his wife look after evie when luke is away on missions. something something more stuff about how basically everything is taken care of and evie lives a pretty wonderful few years with her odd family ("luke is dad, aaron is dad 2, mrs. yishmir is mom 2," evie says. then she blinks up at luke. "dad, when are you going to get married?" and luke chokes on his energy drink)

FAST FORWARD. luke is back in stellis like canon and when he reunites with mc, he's holding the hand of a little girl with bright eyes and a vibrant smile.

"my name is eve pearce!" she introduces herself to mc. "you can call me evie! im detective pearce's best assistant!"

and so everything in canon is the same but not quite

(and my plan in this fic is one HELLUVA nxx ot5 found family (maybe full polycule or platonic, still figuring it out). but yes, mc and the other nxx boys supporting luke and taking care of evie along with him and being there for him every time he has a breakdown over how hes a bad father and how he'll never be enough.

and they let him vent but also they lovingly bonk him on the head from time to time, LUKE PEARCE U R A WONDERFUL FATHER, SHUT THE HELL UP, AND THIS IS A LEARNING PROCESS, OKAY!!!! a learning process for all of them. because theyre all gonna squeeze in and do their own weird brand of parenting with luke. because nxx investigation team means family and family means NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND!!!

it takes a village to raise a kid, as they say, and evie is very very happy that her family just got A WHOLE LOT BIGGER. shes a bit confused tho as to who luke is going to marry, theyre all so cool, afterall!!! can he marry all of them? she'd like that. that would mean she'd get SO MANY BIRTHDAY GIFTS!!! >u<)

[silversatoru]

the thin line between hope and despair

yelena x gn! reader

synopsis: you’re in love with yelena, and she feels nothing for for you. constant hook-ups and faded morals = very messy feelings

tags/warnings: nsfw, some smut?, angst, unrequited love, one-sided feelings, fuck buddies

word count: 2.5k

a/n: for my my sweet bby girl @brandmeyelena <3

Yelena knows what she’s doing with you isn’t right — on so many fucking levels. Taking advantage of your utter desperation for her over and over again when she knows damn well that she couldn’t care less about you. It wasn’t fair, especially for you, but she just couldn’t really find it in herself to feel sorry for someone so pitiful. You were so willing to devote yourself to her in exchange for mere crumbs of her affection, and it was pathetic. You left a sour taste in her mouth, a taste of sorrow and complete wretchedness, but you were also the perfect distraction. The perfect relief from all of her stress and all of her responsibilities with the volunteers. She was tired, and you were just so damn desperate to make her feel better — so how could she refuse? The answer was simple, she couldn’t.

That exact thought process is what landed her here today, with her fingers around your throat and your eyes rolled back into your head. She knows you love it too, being used like this — the way your cheeks grow flushed and your eyes get foggy when she cuts off the circulation to your brain. But she doesn’t do it for you — Yelena enjoys these things just as much as you do, her power hungry ego being fervently stroked by dominating you like this. Pinning you underneath of her and giving you orders made her feel in control — and that was perfect, because god knows she isn’t in control of anything else in her life right now.

Get down, she’d hiss at you, pointing to the floor with her long, slender index finger. Your pathetic frame would sink to your knees instantly, wordlessly doting to her every command. She’d lean back on her shoulders, her hips propped on the edge of the bed, and give you an expectant look. You know what to do. Do it, her voice would snarl, her empty eyes swirling with hunger. You’d feverishly obey, launching yourself forward and graciously opening your mouth for her pussy. You were dedicated to your craft, taking your time and ensuring that your tongue consumed every inch of her. Yelena’s head would fall back and, raspy, wet noises gurgled from her throat. She was entirely consumed by this twisted bliss — and she was a horrible monster for letting you do these things to her, but she felt far too good to care.

So now here you were, your tongue buried deep inside her while you worked desperately to make her feel better. She was quieter than usual today — the only things to leave her lips were small groans and half-assed insults. Things like the occasional “faster” while she pulled your hair, or “stupid slut” when you weren’t doing things quite right. The slander only made you work harder however, and honestly anything that came out of the blonde woman’s mouth was music to your ears. You stared up at her with rose-colored glasses, living in a delusional world where you truly believed Yelena cared about you.

It was a dreadfully fucked up dynamic — this relationship the two of you had, if it could even be called that. One of you lived in a terrible fantasy of what could be and the other was practically incapable of feeling human emotions. It was truly only a matter of time before the world started burning around the two of you.

A very short matter of time.

Yelena was spasming underneath of you now, warm juices and shaky convulsions racking through her body and into your mouth. You drove your tongue deep against her contracting walls, your eyes squeezed shut. A disgustingly sticky mixture of her fluids and your own saliva dripped down your chin as you finally pulled away, a bitter taste hanging on your tongue.

And Yelena was always quick to leave, she never stuck around any longer than she had to. She came, she came, and then she’d pull shitty excuses out of her ass as to why she needed to leave so soon. Those reasons more often than not consisted of one person — Zeke Yeager. Whether or not there was something romantic between the two, or if she was just highly devoted to him, you could never tell. You weren’t even sure if you wanted to know, honestly, because the answer might just break your heart.

Why don’t you stay tonight, Lena? You looked over at her as she pulled her trousers up her long, gangly legs. You craved something deeper with her, something more than just occasional casual sex — but it was really too bad that she didnt reciprocate those feelings at all. Sorry, there's a meeting tonight. I have to go. She’d respond, her voice dull as she carelessly brushed you off and slipped on her boots.

Will Zeke be there? Your voice always got low when you talked about him, but you made intentional efforts to hide the jealousy in your tone. Of course he’ll be there, he is the leader, she’d state dully as if this was obvious, and maybe it was, but it still made your chest ache.

You spend a lot of time with him lately, even outside of meetings, you’d state your observations out loud for the first time. Confrontation wasn’t something you enjoyed, and you certainly weren’t any good at explaining your feelings either. But your heart was starting to nag you lately, and you needed to voice your opinions before it was too late.

We’re preparing for a war, her eyes grew incredibly narrow, try not to make such selfish accusations right now. The words were like daggers of guilt stabbing between your ribs. Yelena had a way with words — a shiny silver tongue that always made you believe what she said without a doubt. You started to believe that you were being selfish — after all the war was very real and Yelena was very involved, that's probably all it was.

You’re right, I’m sorry. I just wish you were around more. Your voice was much quieter now, shame and remorse churning in your stomach -- maybe you would have been better off not saying anything at all.

We’re busy. You have to understand where I’m coming from here. It’s hard for me to make time right now, she’d continue to spew nonsense into your impressionable ears. She didn’t like that you were starting to question her, not at all. She’d say whatever you needed to hear to keep you around at this point — she didn’t plan on losing her little fuck-toy anytime soon. If you needed a little affection to keep you complacent, then she’d just need to put on a little show for you.

Come here, I’m sorry, her tone grew softer, but not at all sincere. You helplessly sunk into her spindly arms, and she pulled you tight to her chest. Just hold on until after the war, okay? Once we make the world a better place, we can do whatever you want.

More false hope, false promises, and false reassurance. The war would be brutal, you’d probably die at some point in a terrible event of collateral damage. You’d die and then Yelena would never need to fulfil her empty promises -- it was that easy, and you’d never know the difference.

That sounds nice, you’d smile, your heart warming at the idea of living in a free world with Yelena by your side. You fell ignorantly for her words, missing every single warning sign and every single red flag. Maybe if you’d noticed the subtle darkness in her eyes, the strain in her tone, or the way she hugged you a little too roughly, you could have saved yourself from the ensuing heartbreak. Or maybe if you had realized that with you being a scout and her being a follower of Zeke, it was unlikely that the two of you would ever work out. But you stupidly refused to consider any of these things, and it was going to cost you your heart.

That fateful memory was a few months ago, and now the both of you were in Marley, anxiously waiting for Eren’s plan to unfold. You were partnered with your friend Connie, his lips twisting into a thin line as the two of you hid in the shadows on top of an industrial building. You were incredibly capable with your 3dm gear, and even more capable with the new gun technology, but you were practically useless with your head in its current state. You watched the streets with fervent eyes, dashing them up and down nearby alleyways and hoping for any sign of Yelena. The attack hadn’t even started yet, but not knowing her whereabouts made you incredibly uneasy. She was probably wherever Zeke was, of course, but you liked to think that wherever she was, she was worried about you too.

Yelena was hiding in plain sight, dressed in a traditional Marleyan Army uniform with fake facial hair wrapped around her chin. She did as she was ordered, trapping two of the titan shifters in a large hole and then retreating back to her position. She was focused solely on her task, and on Zeke and how she could ensure his safety, and honestly, the thought of you hadn’t crossed her mind once tonight.

When Eren’s attack came, it came suddenly and violently -- and it was like nothing you’ve ever seen before, or at least not since the colossal and armored titans attacked so many years ago. Before you could even take in the horrifying scene in front of you, Connie was grabbing your hand and ushering you to run, the two of you taking off with your 3dm gear. You couldn’t stop your eyes from wandering as your body swung through the air, frantically searching the streets for the tall, blonde woman who owned your heart. But maybe you should have paid less attention to finding her, and more attention to where you were going.

Connie’s shrill scream shook you to your core, and at first you didn’t even notice the array of guns pointed right at the two of you. A group of Marleyan soldiers were lined up atop a building, every single nozzle of their firearms preparing to shoot at you and Connie. Your friend shot his gear downwards, swooping underneath the scope of the guns and shouting at you to follow him. And you tried, you really did, but you were horribly distracted and accidentally shot your gear into the very edge of a building. The hook crumbled the corner of the building and was unable to secure itself, sending you hurling to the ground beneath you. Your breath was wiped clean from your chest as you smacked against the ground, dust and dirt filling your lungs. Connie was forced to swing up onto a higher building, narrowly avoiding the bullets and unable to come down after you. Your bones ached as you peeled yourself off the ground, looking up just to see pieces of rubble hurling towards you. What the FUCK, Eren? You silently cursed out that irresponsible titan boy, scrambling to avoid the giant chunks of building that were quickly getting closer.

You thought you’d made it, your heart beat gushing in your ears as you launched yourself towards another building, only to be knocked back down by a slab of broken concrete. Pained yelps squeezed out from your throat as your body fell helplessly back to the ground. This fall did a number on you, your ears ringing and your head pounding with a dull pain. The large piece of rubble had crashed into one of your legs, rendering your leg immobile and absolutely crushing your gear. Connie couldn’t help you, not when saving you guaranteed his own demise — you needed to do this on your own, unless-

“Yelena!” You called out to the towering woman who was stumbling towards you. Her arm was wrapped around an injured Zeke, and she was working hard to carry him to safety. Levi must have rocked his shit again, you’d have to thank him for that if you made it out of this alive.

Yelena stopped momentarily when she saw your mangled leg, but not even an ounce of concern crossed her determined face. She looked you up and down, and then glanced down at Zeke as if she was weighing her options.

“I’m sorry,” She shot you a horribly unsypathetic look, dragging her gaze away from you and hurrying off with the injured blonde boy.

It was so simple, so short, and there wasn't the smallest hint of remorse in her voice. Your brain couldn’t process how easy it was for her to leave you there, your mouth hanging open in a small “o”. You would give your life for Yelena, and she didn’t even blink when you were faced with certain death — and that’s when it all started to set in. The delusional facade that you’d imagined between the two of you was shattering, small pieces of glass memories crashing and crumbling around you. The cruel owner of your pitiful heart felt nothing for you, and it had taken this long for you to finally realize.

All of the days and nights the two of you spent entangled in each other's arms had meant nothing. All of the time you spent with your lips locked against hers and her large hands caressing your body had been devoid of anything more than lust for her. Terrible embarrassment washed up inside of you as you recalled all of the sinful things you did for this cold-hearted, unfeeling woman.

Your motivation to fight was gone, your eyes locked onto Yelena’s tall figure as she ran further away and out of view. She’d picked Zeke over you again, she always did, and she always would. She practically worshiped him, like he was some kind of fucked up, twisted god. You weren’t sure why you ever thought you could compete with that.

In the midst of your complete breakdown, a firm arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you into the air. Connie had come back for you, cold air stinging your face as the two of you shot up to the safety of a tall, nearby building.

“Fuck, y/n, stop being so careless! And I hope you’ll finally give up on that lanky bitch after she walked right past you like that,” he let out an exasperated breath, slumping behind a large brick wall.

“Sorry… thank you,” you mumbled, “You really shouldn’t have risked your life like that”.

“No, but that’s what people are supposed to do when they care about each other. Is it finally sinking in, that she's been using you for the past year? I tried to tell you so many time-,” He continued to ramble on in frustration.

Every one of his words poured salt into your already burning wounds, tears beginning to leak from your eyes. Yelena didn’t care about you, she never did — she’d never even sacrificed time for you, never mind compromising her or Zeke’s safety for you. And you were stupidly ignorant to ever think that she saw you as more than a toy she used to pass the time.

[moonlit-dreamers]

no its mainly arguing that nexus isnt actually innocent at all and everything he did was a conscious choice that he made of his own volition and that ppl saying "he isnt self aware/is too mentally ill to be aware" and use it as an excuse to justify his actions are very painfully wrong. nexus has shown self awareness and guilt (see the episode where dark sun picks him up and hes talking to himself and keeps telling himself to shut up bc he keeps thinking about wut he did to earth). and even when ur mentally ill and do something bad its still ur own choice

also how ppl seem to think its just. really fucking strange? that u WOULDNT like someone?? after they actively tried to kill u??? like bitch if my life long friend tried to kill me and called me just "collateral damage" theyd need to do some hard fucking work to gain my trust back bc u dont just do that to someone and expect them to not care

theres also a bunch of other things of everyone blaming the family AND NOT NEXUS HIMSELF for wut hes doing. they didnt even know wut he was feeling or doing for a while. they accidentally fueled him by asking how to bring solar back but they accepted he probably wouldnt come back. but ppl blame THEM for not even being aware of the situation. oh and also blaming the family for not helping him bc "moon had hallucinations!!" they didnt know about that either. all sun (not the others) heard was that he was talking to things that werent real. sun didnt know wut the extent of it actually was. he didnt know that it was that bad.

ig a lot of it is just the blatant lack of sympathy or even just basic understanding that this situation sucks for EVERYONE and not just ur specific blorbo. this isnt a thing where the victims arent also perpetrators in some way. the VAs have said themselves that nobody is right nor wrong in this situation. but ppl r just kinda stuck in this black and white thinking of "nexus good family bad" when NEITHER of them r good nor bad. but im more focused on trying to defend the family bc apparently ppl just. think that theyre all in the wrong and should be punished for wut they did to nexus (which, again, they didnt know and it was still his choice to do EVERYTHING he did)

honestly i have a lot more and its just being angry about how the fandom has been treating nexus like the victim as if he didnt hurt and ATTEMPT TO KILL multiple ppl. idc if hes "mentally ill/unstable". its still his choice and he still has to own up to his actions. (and im saying this as a mentally ill person who has hurt ppl in the past. it was still my choice and i still had to make up for it.) he shouldnt be able to get out of this without trying to make things right and apologize

i have so many thoughts about this show but id probably be killed for going against wut ppl (aka hardcore moon/nexus fans) think