#but also clearly highlight each others flaws and would make them worse if together

[evelynpr]

Still believe this btw, even if the 38 page epilogue is true.

Might be a hot take as a bkdk and tgck truther here, but I find izuocha endlessly fascinating, beautiful, but also tearfully tragic.

I see their love for each other as something representative of their innocence and naivety when they only knew so little about who they were, and what was to come.

I think the main barrier of their relationship is that its rooted in how they see each other very idealistically, specifically that they're attached to the image of their Best Heroic Selves, and not the deeply selfish, destructive, freaky, and egotistical parts of them. To each other, they need to keep fulfilling that image or else that same person they looked up to would almost die in front of them, and that would be too cruel. Although that hero is still there, that same person they looked up to is not the same now because of...well...everything.

Izuku had barely even talked to girls when he first met her. She was Izuku's first ever real friend (Sorry Kats, everyone and him knows he was terrible), so he saved her in that entrance exam even if it was so dangerous. She gave a new meaning to his derogatory nickname just by being a friend that believed in him. After that, she saved him several more times (Blackwhip and Megaphone are the biggest samples iirc). It makes perfect sense that she is Deku's hero.

Ochako hardly knew what it meant to be a hero when she first got into UA. Just by reaching out to some kid tripping, she made a new friend who would then save her in that exam, then save him again in return. This boy then became someone who was always working so hard to save everyone in trouble, and she realized she wanted to be just like him too. "I want to save people"

But...Deku changes. The weight of One for All is on his shoulders and he needs someone to carry this burden with him. He continues to want to save other people at the expense of himself, still not letting his true selfishness and ego ever show- and it only grows more and more unbearable.

Then...Ochako fell in love with Himiko. Truly, relentlessly, selfishly and devotedly in love with a girl who then dies giving her blood to her- the greatest expression of love Himiko could ever give.

Not that they can't love each other because of this happening (and...so many other things oh god), I'm honestly not sure how to explain it- But them ending up together after losing that innocence and naivety? After Ochako will forever grieve the girl who showed her love in its most beautiful and ugly form? After Izuku changed so fundamentally as a person that the butterflies of a nice girl talking to you doesn't exist anymore? After that simple image of being a hero and being in love has completely changed for them both?

Even so, I believe they still love each other. There is no label I know of that can properly describe them though. They are each other's image of being a hero when it comes to saving people. Aside from Shoto, no one else can grasp the grief of the person you tried to save dying in your hands. They would no doubt try to cope with these losses together, and just try to get better together...but so much has changed. They've changed. The world changed. What are they now? Who are they now?

"What happened...to us?"

[thebluelemontree]

Hiya blue lemon it's me again. Do you have any criticism in the way GRRM wrote Sansa in book1/2? EX:.Sansa and Jeyne are BFF but we amolst never see the girls talking to eachother, and when JP is sex traffikced sansa just forget about her(we could have a scene where sansa try to find what happened to JP or at least grieve for her). Every time sansa appears as a non-POV in AGOT she's been mean and whe we have her POV she's mean for no good reason(SANSA III AGOT). >PART 1<

And the worst is why GRRM wrote sansa goin to Cercei to tell her the "Ned Plans", it's just bad writing, Cercei kill lady so Sansa going to her was OOC GRRM just wrote that to we hate Sansa And in the book it's not explained what "the Ned plans" was(And it was nothing imortant at all, and would make no difference at Ned's fate) so ordinary readers blame Sansa for Ned's death and GRRM does that too in book 2 Cercei put all the blame for Ned death in sansa nd "the Ned Plans" Your thoughts?PART 2

There’s a lot to unpack here. 

I get a sense that in the early books, George was not as comfortable writing female relationships as he was writing male relationships or even male-female ones. I mean, Catelyn has no female friends, no companions like Margaery Tyrell’s cousins, no fostering wards of her own, no correspondences with other ladies except that one letter from Lysa for plot reasons. This is just weird for the lady of two major houses. It is neglectful on George’s part to give most of the important social connections to men. This doesn’t mean he was totally inept at writing female relationships, though, and it does seem like he’s tried to improve upon highlighting the positive in later books.

By comparison, the positive side of the brotherly relationships are presented so strongly that it tends to smooth over the conflicts with many readers. Jon can feel envious and resentful of Robb, but the love and loyalty is always in the foreground. The conflict between Arya, Jeyne, and Sansa does have legitimate character arc and plot purposes, so this isn’t bad writing. It’s unfortunate that GRRM presses down so hard on the constant bickering and occasional nastiness, but he did write some positives (albeit they tended to be revealed in later books) and there are understandable reasons for the dynamics. It was not done in a totally unrealistic way. What’s depicted is a typical and relatable rocky period for that age group, and there was negative adult influence at play. It’s not a permanent feature of the sisterhood. It’s all there if you pay attention and you’re inclined to be charitable toward the mistakes of young girls.       

If a reader is already predisposed to see the bonds between male characters as more pure and more able to overcome the negative aspects, then they probably also view the bonds between female characters as inherently weaker and more fraught with conflict. Fandom misogyny is not GRRM’s fault. That sector of the fandom will always have contempt for girls for being girls, especially preteen girls. They will always hone in on their faults and belittle their virtues. 

I don’t think that is true that we hardly ever see Jeyne and Sansa talking. They are nearly always in each other’s company. There was real friendship between Sansa and Jeyne, because what George does do well with them, is realistically write the way girls cement their bonds. Young girls strengthen their relationship by communicating and confiding in each other. Sharing secrets, crushes, hopes, fears, and pieces of gossip builds trust and intimacy. Jeyne and Sansa do this all the time, even though they can have different opinions and disagree about a lot.  Yes, there is some one-sidedness in that Sansa socially outranks Jeyne and believes that makes her more mature and wiser than her friend. Jeyne is dependent on her closeness to Sansa as a highborn lady and future queen to rise successfully, so she’s not going to push back on Sansa’s dominance. This is also a reason Jeyne sometimes bullies Arya to supplant her as Sansa’s “sister.” When Sansa has something to share, she goes to Jeyne to talk about it. I think it’s hilarious that the girls have a debate over which castle Gregor Clegane’s head will get spiked. Sansa wants Jeyne at her side for these new and exciting events like the tourney. When things get serious and dangerous, they comfort each other. Again, this is not all George’s fault if some readers don’t recognize or value the way girls do friendships.  

It’s stated quite clearly why Sansa tries to not think about Jeyne or her deceased family members very often. It’s fucking traumatic and her survival while among her captors depends on mentally holding herself together. 

If only she had someone to tell her what to do. She missed Septa Mordane, and even more Jeyne Poole, her truest friend. The septa had lost her head with the rest, for the crime of serving House Stark. Sansa did not know what had happened to Jeyne, who had disappeared from her rooms afterward, never to be mentioned again. She tried not to think of them too often, yet sometimes the memories came unbidden, and then it was hard to hold back the tears. Once in a while, Sansa even missed her sister. By now Arya was safe back in Winterfell, dancing and sewing, playing with Bran and baby Rickon, even riding through the winter town if she liked. Sansa was allowed to go riding too, but only in the bailey, and it got boring going round in a circle all day. -- Sansa II, ACOK.

Following her father’s beheading, Sansa was in a suicidal depression for days. She wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t bathe, welcomed drug-induced sleep, and contemplated killing herself. If she thinks too much on those she lost, she falls to pieces. She can’t openly weep and mourn for “traitors” if her life depends on appearing to be loyal to Joffrey. Most of her grief is suppressed inside. This also includes asking too many questions she doesn’t feel psychologically prepared to hear the answer to. She was there when the decision was made to shuttle Jeyne off to Littlefinger; however, she has no idea this is going to result in Jeyne being sent to a brothel and worse. I would also keep in mind that even if she did ask, it’s not like Cersei or Littlefinger would ever tell her the truth. Why would they? Does she really want to hear lies and have to think about what the horrible truth might be when she can’t do anything about it?  When it comes to Arya, Sansa believes her sister escaped on the ship bound for home. She comforts herself with imagining that Arya is safe and free, and that’s enough to keep her going.  

And she prays and sings for Jeyne, wherever she is.

She sang for mercy, for the living and the dead alike, for Bran and Rickon and Robb, for her sister Arya and her bastard brother Jon Snow, away off on the Wall. She sang for her mother and her father, for her grandfather Lord Hoster and her uncle Edmure Tully, for her friend Jeyne Poole, for old drunken King Robert, for Septa Mordane and Ser Dontos and Jory Cassel and Maester Luwin... -- Sansa V, ACOK.

It’s only until later in the books that Sansa feels emotionally at peace enough to start remembering the good times with Arya and Jeyne without breaking down into tears. We can also see the conflicts weren’t always a thing, and the love was strong with all three.

Sansa began to make snowballs, shaping and smoothing them until they were round and white and perfect. She remembered a summer's snow in Winterfell when Arya and Bran had ambushed her as she emerged from the keep one morning. They'd each had a dozen snowballs to hand, and she'd had none. Bran had been perched on the roof of the covered bridge, out of reach, but Sansa had chased Arya through the stables and around the kitchen until both of them were breathless. She might even have caught her, but she'd slipped on some ice. Her sister came back to see if she was hurt. When she said she wasn't, Arya hit her in the face with another snowball, but Sansa grabbed her leg and pulled her down and was rubbing snow in her hair when Jory came along and pulled them apart, laughing. -- Sansa VII, ASOS.

It was most unladylike, but Alayne sound found herself laughing. For just a little while, as she ran, she forget who she was, and where, and found herself remembering bright cold days at Winterfell, when she would race through Winterfell with her friend Jeyne Poole, with Arya running after them trying to keep up. -- Alayne I, TWOW.

So it’s not even that the girls only bond through confiding. They run, play, and roughhouse with each other. It’s interesting that AGOT!Sansa tried to be so mature and proper, but now that she’s older, she’s remembering how good and freeing it was just to be a kid. But let’s not act like this part of the story is over. Jeyne is still very much alive and seems likely to run into Arya in Braavos. We can almost be 100% certain that Sansa will find out the truth about what happened to Jeyne and what Littlefinger did to her (and her parents), then watch out. Sansa will turn all that buried pain into a righteous fury at Littlefinger.  

Now as for Sansa being mean for “no reason.” Um... yeah, LOL. Sometimes she’s just a total unwarranted bitch to her sister, and it’s not meant to be a good look. Sometimes she’s superficial, insufferably immature and annoying, judgmental and prejudiced AND THAT’S OKAY. I mean, she sounds no better or worse than your average middle-schooler if they were of the privileged nobility. Guess what? Sometimes preteens are really like that. Sometimes siblings have ugly, knockdown drag out fights where they say horrible things to each other. Most will grow past those phases and still wind up just as loving and close. It’s realistic and believable. Sansa has flaws, but they aren’t deep moral flaws. She does an amazing job at growing, learning, and overcoming those flaws over the course of the books. In TWOW, she’s warm and affectionate with people, easy-going, nonjudgmental, and genuinely more mature than ever. She took the stick out of her ass and became a happier person for it. What’s the problem? What did you want her to be? Perfect? Unfailingly kind and loved by everyone all the time? She’d be a saint, not a multifaceted human being. Even with her occasional ugly side, Sansa is still a strong, smart, compassionate badass. I don’t care if some people don’t like her as she is written or if they vilify her with their misinterpretations or ignore her strengths. What bearing does that have on GRRM’s vision for her character? He never set out to write any character that the whole fandom would either unanimously love or hate.    

This is not bad writing. This NOT bad writing. This is GOOD writing.

*Sigh* Listen... this whole nonsense about Sansa being to blame for Ned’s demise has been going on since ASOIAF was written on clay tablets. You don’t have to listen to every stupid thing the fandom says about anything. It’s just factually wrong. End of story. This misinterpretation and reader inattentiveness is not GRRM’s fault, because he lays out all the details of everything that went down between Arya, Ned, and Sansa’s POV as it was happening. It’s totally understandable why an upset and frustrated Sansa would go to Cersei, the mother figure she implicitly trusts and admires. She didn’t go to Cersei to betray her father’s plans. She went to the queen to intercede in what she thought had to be some big misunderstanding, having no idea what was really going on or at stake. 

This is not OOC for her to go to Cersei after Lady’s death. The hand that killed Lady was her own father’s, a undeniable breach of trust that wounded their relationship. Ned just doesn’t really do a lot to deal with the emotional aftermath either. Ned and Sansa are very similar in turning a blind eye when confronted with unpleasantness from someone they love. Ned is also at that moment disillusioned with Robert’s failure to do the right thing after the Trident incident. He begs Robert in the name of their brotherly love and the love he bore Lyanna, and Robert turns his back on Ned anyway. Yet Ned immediately goes right back to believing in the best of Robert’s nature, despite all evidence to the contrary. Every sign points to this being a one-sided friendship with Robert being lazy, irresponsible, and completely selfish. Like father, like daughter. Sansa has a very hard time accepting that Joffrey and Cersei are not the people she thought they were, even when she’s seen some cracks. And since she can’t understand her father’s actions and the communication has been shot to hell between them, of course she runs to Cersei with her problems. Cersei can flip a switch and pretend to be kind, loving, and understanding. 

This is so typical of a teenage thought process:  “Dad just doesn’t understand and he’s making a big mistake. I don’t understand why he’s doing this. He doesn’t get how important this is to me. This will all work out if a sympathetic adult steps in and fixes it. Everything will turn out great and we’ll all be happy.” While Sansa is pouring her heart out about how it isn’t fair she can’t say goodbye to Joffrey, Cersei pretends to be that sympathetic mother figure that really understands her. How hard would it be then to pump Sansa for information? Like “Oh my sweet little dove. I know how much you love my son. Don’t worry. I’ll help you straighten this out. You said your father wants to send you away? How? When? What’s the name of that ship again?”  

And that line from Cersei’s POV is horseshit. Cersei is a liar and regularly lies in her POV to absolve herself of responsibility and force the blame entirely on others. In this case, Cersei is acting like she didn’t totally manipulate a trusting child to betray her.  We also know this is a lie because Ned was the one that told her himself of his plans to reveal the invest and remove her as queen. Sansa had nothing to do with that. All Sansa did was give Cersei information that allowed Cersei the opportunity to take her hostage before the girls could leave by ship. Cersei’s plans against Ned were already well underway. Sansa never came to her with the intent of knowingly betraying anyone, but she did have selfish reasons for going to the queen to complain in the first place. GRRM said himself that Sansa wasn’t to blame for Ned’s capture or death, but she did play a role in the events that transpired. That’s fair. All that makes her is a kid who made a not entirely innocent mistake, but a mistake nonetheless, which she immediately learned from. Does she trust Cersei or Joffrey again? Hell no.  

Relax, anon. It’s fine for her to not be nice all the time. It’s fine for her to have some realistic, garden variety flaws. It’s one of the most universal human mistakes to fall too hard and fast for the wrong person, act the fool over them despite all the red flags, only to realize you only saw what you wanted to see in them. And Sansa learned this lesson at eleven when some adults haven’t learned it at all. Relax. She’s a great, well-written, relatable character who has overcome most of these issues successfully.  

[finalfantasy7]

Letting go

Despite all the crying, all the pain, all the disappointment that came from that little bookstore, I’m still scared of letting it go. Honest to god afraid of allowing it to become a distant memory where I can barely make out most of the details.

Little did I know going in I would barely register as a real job, strictly viewing it as a seasonal gig, only to leave it with bleeding heart strings.

I remember how at first I didn’t allow myself to see it as a long term gig, not after only staying as a seasonal at a previous location (a decision that admittedly ended up being a strike against my confidence). And yet, as the holiday season came closer to ending, the more anxious I became about being kept on passed the holiday season. It only became worse as I started to bond with the team there. Everyone and everything seemed to click. I very quickly found myself in a new “comfort zone” and much like love, it’s beautiful to experience and even scarier to lose.

What I failed to realize until now, was I had personally laid down the structure of the home I now associate with that environment. Yes, my colleagues were each as warm as they were individuals; each carrying a back full of personalized arrows and hearts full of dreams and fears alike. But looking back, so many of them highlighted how their kindness was not cheap and for some, certainly wasn’t free.

I now understand what [redacted] means when she says I seem to be the “glue” between people. A substance whose sole purpose is to hold things together and tightly at that. That being said, there are few cases of universal glue. No, in fact there’s specific types of glue for specific materials. I am nowhere near being a universal glue but I seem to be a decent brand for people…or at least those who can afford to be a bit vulnerable and honest.

To this day I will rave about my former coworkers, even more so about the ones I still keep in contact with today. But I’m now starting to see that the bookstore was home to me for a bit BECAUSE I made it home. I could have come in day in and day out and never looked back but I didn’t, at the time it almost felt like I couldn’t. How could I? When a small, insecure being was being suddenly labeled with tags and titles they had never heard before.

I wasn’t “[dead name]” when I stepped through those blue doors but “Finn Acosta”. Nor longer was I this lost entity, a ball of failure, fears and anxieties. No, I was now “Finn”; an attractive, fashionable leader who always seemed to “really see” people for who they were. But even at the time these words read hollow, not because I didn’t believe the genuine sentiment behind them but simply because I didn’t see that person looking back at me in the mirror. They unfortunately went from compliments to a heavy mask I felt I needed to wear, to proudly carry and maintain lest I seek to disappoint everyone.

There was a time period when “life was good” at work. I had recently been hired and I was hungry. You wanted to teach me how to make a table? Let’s do it. Need help with overnight inventory? Something I’ve never done before? I’m game. Wanna teach me how to rearrange every decorative piece on a table? Can’t wait. I suppose this time period could accurately be labeled as “Finn was bubbly” here or at least that’s how one manager described it when discussing how much I had changed by the end of my bookstore career. Managers seem to like this time period as much as I did. I used to think I was happy here and I suppose I was and yet, looking back it all seems so Illusionary? Perhaps our image of happiness changes more throughout our lives than we’d like to admit. But here I was in a relationship which I believed at the time was perfect, was in a workplace I believed was perfect and was starting to carry a new outlook of myself I had, you guessed it, deemed as perfect.

I sometimes wonder if I had the opportunity would I go back in time and warn that version of myself about the storm that was starting to brew? No, I don’t think I would. Even with the knowledge I have now, nothing could have prepared me for what was about to unfold, not really. Plus, who am I to rip off those rose coloured glasses off my past self- she was genuinely as happy as she could have been. I feel weirdly maternal towards that person. I know they were doing their best….unfortunately their best would soon be crushed by reality, more specifically, the flaws and beauty of what it means to be human.

Now going into my second year of psyche I can confidently say reading about humans and experiencing them are very different. To read about projection and have it’s description neatly grouped in small bullet points is very different from someone angrily shutting down your greeting because they’re having a bad day. I experienced a lot of projection at work and equally threw in my own.

It’s fascinating to think I experienced both appreciation and questioning of personality all at once in the same environment. I would be commended on how understanding I could be but equally questioned on how I couldn’t view things as more black and white the same people. How could you see only grays, is what I’d heard in my mind. Where was the fire? Where was the anger? Did it mean I didn’t care? Perhaps I simply didn’t give enough thought to these topics? But that wasn’t the case at all. For months on end I would ruminate about work; everything from issues of health and safety, union processing, to the well being of my coworkers.

This was my pack and I needed to care for it as best as I could…so I did. Someone didn’t feel comfortable addressing concerns to management? I’d do it for them. Let me check in with everyone I saw to see how they were. You look tired, allow me to buy you a coffee. Let me send out feedback forms to see what people need. Remember, each and everyone one of you matters and deserves nothing but care. Oh wait, management is also made up of human beings so I should also extend all this to them. Let me do this, let me do that, I will do this, I will do that. Eventually I became a husk of the person I started off at the beginning of the year. I felt bitter and broken. To put it frankly, I was exhausted.

I’ve never broken down so much in a place of work. I would sit in the corner of the washroom and cry (not too much so we couldn’t stop but enough to get a good sob out). No one ever knew. I know because I’ve now highlighted this to a few former coworkers and they each wear the same look of surprise, sadness and empathy. But why the tears? It was just a part time job and it was…until it wasn’t. Somewhere along the way this part time job truly became something else. I went from clocking in and out, to bringing every person who worked with me home. I packed up their fears in a precious bag and wore it around, how couldn’t I? They were afraid and I was used to carrying around people’s emotions with me. I was even better at wearing a bright toothy smile that hid my own emotions.

At some point I stopped being a CER and started to be..well..I suppose glue. But remember what I said earlier about different types of glue for different materials? Well, you see- management wasn’t particularly fond of the type of glue I was, at least a majority of them didn’t seem to be. You see in the eyes of my leaders, I WAS someone who was just clocking in and out and they weren’t happy with this. You see, the company preferred the type of glue that bonded workers and the company’s “vision”. Workers that were so bonded with that vision that it became almost indistinguishable of where the person started and the sales pitch ended. They wanted you to take work home with you, just not in the way I did. Ironically, because of this I was rated as a low performer; because I didn’t care enough, when all of my peers were telling me the opposite.

But there it was, the other shoe had finally fallen and little Finn isn’t as sturdy as they seem. No, in fact, I remember running out of the performance review in tears, rushing past my coworkers as I digested being told I was a failure (another notch to add to the belt). It’s true when they say, sometimes it’s not the information itself but how it’s delivered. I felt ganged up in the review; mine being the only that required the GM to be present (more like be the one who conducted it but I digress). My mind had completely shut down as my superiors watched me shrink into myself, using the little energy I had to not break down and cry. The surrealism of them joking around about not being able to find a seat in the mall to conduct the review as my mind turned into static. They told me I had “really up days and really down days”, a sentence that may as well be a death sentence if you deal with a form of mental illness. They noticed, they noticed I wasn’t neurotypical, that I was different and not in a good way. You know what hurts the most? These two women were part of a moment of trauma for me and they didn’t even try- for them it was just another day at work. They’ll never know how I spent the next few months psychoanalyzing myself, speaking with professionals to help me find “what I did wrong?”, “why was I a failure?”.

After months of pouring every bit of energy I had towards my team I was told I wasn’t good enough. A part of me wishes I could send this letter to those women, to show them “look what you did to me”. But I feel it would give them another opportunity to dismiss me when I’m most vulnerable, a moment similar to when they glossed over my anxiety disorder, chalking it up to, “I think we’re all anxious right now”.  At the end of everything I’m more hurt than bitter. I’m not a manager, I’m not a leader but I know I would never put someone in such a situation and at the very least I can sleep at night knowing that.

To say my time at the bookstore was a learning experience would be an understatement. One day I was at cash dealing with a customer who clearly wasn’t having a good day and I decided then and there, I needed to leave. So, I finally ripped the rose coloured glasses off and decided to give my two weeks. Those two weeks were the least stressed I had been the entire year. Ironically, I had to leave the bookstore to finally take to heart the kind words that were told to me in it. I remember how I was told at my previous location how incredible it was of how many interpersonal relationships I had made in the short amount of time and it looks like here was no different….but it was. I’m now permanently leaving this company behind and realizing if this is what I can do with a few months, a year, imagine what I can do in a permanent career setting? I think I’ll be just fine; not because I’m “Finn”, not because I’m glue but because I try and maybe, just maybe, that’s enough.

[chibivesicle]

Golden Kamuy chapters 269-270.  The cliff notes meta edition.

This will be a less detailed meta as I’ve just been spread too thin recently and the current events of the manga have been underwhelming to me, making it harder to engage with the content.

Having an online presence has been a double-edged sword for me and as we mark 1 year of pandemic life, it is hard for me to invest as much time in it since I have to do so many more things online for work.  Sitting down to write meta isn’t as fun and relaxing as it once was when you have 7 zoom meetings over the course of several days. Add on the fact that I have not left the county were I live since February 2020 nor I have a seen any of my family or friends . . . yeah writing meta isn’t a much of a priority.  As an aside, I think more people need to be stating that being ‘productive’ and ‘leveling up’ during these times is either unrealistic and even more damaging by creating completely unrealistic expectations of how we should respond to things.

[steps off of soapbox]

Chapter 269, quickly shows us how the chaos that Tsurumi unleashed on the divided Ainu resulted in a tragedy and Wilk is the only one who managed to survive the massacre.

Tsurumi is able to sort out that there were eight Ainu, and that Wilk staged his own death by working quickly to conceal the identity of the dead partially by removing the eyes. 

Kikuta is the first one to find the man who dies soon after discovery and Tsurumi seems to be in awe of Wilk’s escape plan.

KIkuta also shows he’s a more empathetic individual worried about how they contributed to the death of Ariko’s father.  Did Tsurumi push Kikuta away after the war since he knew Kikuta would feel bad about doing the ‘things’ needed to be done for the gold?

It further highlights that Usami and Kikuta were never on the same page.  I do like how the following page shows both Kikuta and Ariko continuing to tie the narrative that Kikuta feels a connection with the younger man.  Shiraishi and Sugimoto spot Ariko, calling him Ariko Ipopte, which is an interesting choice to use a hybrid name for him.  Kikuta uses his full Japanese name, while these men use a mix.

The final panel showing a reflective looking Kikuta walking alone in the rain really emotional connects with the grief surrounding all of this unnecessary death.  Tsurumi sought to be a leader of men by giving them love and being the stand in father for them.  I think that Kikuta is the character who is the natural and honest father figure - we know he has a deep relationship with Ariko and we also know he has some sort of connection to Sugimoto.

Tsurumi continues his ‘discussion’ of events with Asirpa and Sofia.  Tsurumi has such a complicated relationship with Wilk.  He’s both in awe of the man’s determination to survive but at the same time he wanted him destroyed at such a great cost.

Tsurumi really lays on the guilt to Asirpa that Wilk did everything to protect her - under the assumption that she’d be unfairly treated if her father had killed all of those men.  Perhaps that is the case, perhaps not.  It seems contradictory to his own actions where he gave Ogin and the Lighting Bandit’s child to Huci to care for it.  He has this weird approach to the impact of the ‘sins of the parents’ on the child  . . .

Tsurumi doggedly pursues Wilk and they immediately recognize each other and he flees onto the lake with his canoe.  By shooting at Wilk, he forces him to capsize the canoe and items sink down into the lake.  Honestly, I’m not sure what Tsurumi was hoping to achieve by this - make him swim so that he could capture him more easily.  We don’t know how skilled Tsurumi is with a rifle and I’d be more concerned about killing Wilk and loosing the information.  It seems reckless in my opinion since the ultimate outcome was Wilk appealing to Inudou thus achieving protection from the 7th.

I think Tsurumi was fueled and blinded by his emotions which only made things more complicated and drew the hunt for the gold out even longer (to the present time).

The rest of the chapter explains how Kiro felt.  First, the grief at the loss of Wilk, trying to move on my having a family, but ultimately coming back to realize that Wilk was still alive after the war.  Really, Wilk underestimated Kiro’s intelligence since he figured out that Kimuspu was the seventh man, not Wilk.  As a Kiro fan, I of course favor him, but he really showed he’s a good leader and actually willing to take risks.  What is most important is that having a family only lead him to want to fight for them - even more.

Kiro sees the flaw in Wilk’s plan of Hokkaido as an independent unit as a place for various native peoples, while ignoring all of the logistical issues that Kiro already pointed out to him previously.  The Far Eastern Federation has the flaw that it is connected by land to Russia, but would me much harder to lay siege to.  But Hokkaido as an island could easily be cut off - and with not much industry within itself, you still can’t do a whole lot with all of those raw materials if you can get industrial technologies from elsewhere.  If it were blockaded they’d be screwed.  Sure, you wouldn’t starve, but you wouldn’t be able to advance quickly.  All that gold and nowhere to spend it.

Thus, Kiro believed he was acting in regard to their original goals and had no choice but to remove Wilk from the equation.  As Wilk had become the very wolf that he had observed as a child and played with its pelt.  That is some next level foreshadowing by Noda, if I do say so.

In the end, Kiro remained much more committed to their fight as partisans than Wilk did.  You have to give it to him, he stuck to his original plans and he died believing he did the right thing.  Now, looking back at how upset Sofia was when she first saw Kiro, we know why she slapped him in the first place.  I’ll take it to mean that she was upset by Kiro’s actions but at the same time understood what he did.  But then Sofia let it go, as she would soon go on to also speak fondly of Wilk and his desire to be like the wolves.  Therefore, I don’t think Sofia was completely angry with Kiro, instead she knew the decision that was made and perhaps, she too, would have understood that there were divided in their goals once they moved on with their lives.

The next chapter starts off with the bottle mobile boys and Ariko on horseback as they determine what to do next.  Sugimoto is amazingly still not rushing in like a maniac which is out of character for him.  Are you okay Sugimoto?  Or have your encounters with Kikuta and Boutarou begun to have an impact on you without being aware of it?

The settle on letting Ariko go ahead, even though he doesn’t answer their question.  I’d say he doesn’t have a clue what side he is on.  He likely cares about Kikuta.  But he wants to see Asirpa succeed since he feels ashamed by his own approach towards life in Hokkaido as an Ainu.

Off he goes alone to figure out how to rescue Asirpa.  Really, a terrible idea since sure he’s a tough guy, but we don’t know what his fighting skills are like in the first place. . . . At least he isn’t a hothead, so sending him in alone will be less of a disaster than Sugimoto.

The action returns to Tsurumi trying to turn up the heat on Asirpa.  She asks him about Kiro’s fingerprints at the crime scene - a lie that Tsurumi fed to Inkarmat to get her to help him.  He writes it off as him doing a good thing for her - she closed a chapter of her life - then again - he doesn’t know that Koito let Tanigaki and Inkarmat escape.  The next several pages are a slow psychological technique that builds up to Tsurumi reveling that the bullet that killed Fina and Olga had been from Wilk’s pistol.  Dum da duuum!

So, according to Tsurumi it is Wilk’s fault all those Ainu died.  That he should have never left Russia for Japan.  That even his time in Russia resulted in Fina and Olga’s deaths.  Everything is Wilk’s fault!

This page ends with how Tsukishima let go of the woman he had loved and his memory of her - yet Tsurumi kept the bullet and the finger bones of his family!  We can see that Tsukishima is barely holding it together, so upset by this knowledge!

As a master manipulator of people, Tsurumi thanks Sofia for what she has contributed to the story - he can help her feel better by telling her that she did not kill his wife and child. . . .  on no, he only uses it as a way to add even more pressure on Asirpa!

To Tsurumi, Asirpa is no child, she is the direct tie to all of his anger and pain and his twisted soul.  

I mean, he kept Wilk’s skinned face and he’s using it to get her to break! What is more interesting is after the initial shock, Sofia quickly regains her calm while Asirpa - well she’s clearly buying into Tsurumi’s explanation of things.

She is thinking about how her father ‘turned’ Tsurumi into the person he is before her . . . . I’d be willing to say that Wilk influenced Tsurumi - as much as Tsurumi influenced Wilk.  Yet, Tsurumi as a human being is responsible for his decisions and he alone can respond to them in a constructive or destructive way.  It is clear Tsurumi went for the latter.

Sofia’s calm in this pressure situation is clear as she asks him if it was for revenge.  She’s a smart woman and has lived long enough to see these types of things through.

Tsukishima is ready to kill Tsurumi - it would make him a hypocritical leader - having him let go of his own earthly attachments only to serve a man bent on revenge.  Koito is listening closely as well, unsure of how he’s going to respond.

Tsurumi makes it clear he could have killed Asirpa any number of times.  I think this is another case of Tsurumi playing a verbal slight of hand.  He’s asked if he’s doing this out of revenge, and his answer is - I haven’t killed her yet.  Gee, based on how messed up you are Tsurumi, we both know that there is more than one way to take revenge. Killing someone in retribution is one way to take revenge or the worse way - make their life a living hell.  It is clear that Tsurumi is going for the second one to break Asirpa.

There is a dramatic two page spread as he explains that he is doing this for Japan - and the implied increasing militaristic activities of the late Meiji government to expand their domain.

If feels - like a performance to me as a reader.  The pages are remarkably light in tone giving it an optimistic and feeling of purity.  Yet, Tsurumi is a broken and corrupt man . . . cruel in his intentions.  He only says this as a way to combat anyone who were to contradict him . . . .

It is too perfect - too convenient - too good for Koito and Tsukishima to believe in my own opinion. As both of the men seem relived to have heard these very words as a type of closing statement.

Tsukishima looks relived that Tsurumi is continuing on the behalf of all of their fallen comrades and families.  Again, this sounds too perfect like Tsurumi’s speech isn’t for Asirpa nor Sofia, it is for Koito and Tsukishima who are eavesdropping.  Since Tsurumi is a next level planner/manipulator he likely came up with this well rehearsed speech to placate all issues around his inability to move on from his family’s death.  It makes him look mature and that he’d moved on from his more basic human needs.

Koito looks like he’s trying really hard to believe Tsurumi and how Tsurumi’s words would comfort Tsukishima.  But is that how you really feel Koito?  That face looks - so - fake.  Like Koito is overdoing it again and is actually unsure how to react.  So, he he looks elated, Tsukishima will feel better - or something.

What I really want to know is why they are just there hiding and watching Tsurumi?  If they are wanting to think independently and beyond Tsurumi why do it while hiding?  It seems no matter what either man may think, they are still under Tsurumi’s thumb as far as how they react to his behavior and the current events.

And I’m gonna have to hold things here while I find a way to read the  more recent chapters with non-shady software to decompress the files since I’ve been using Mangadex the entire time I’ve been reading GK (in addition to the english versions of previous chapters).

[thatblondeperson]

So I learnt from that Tim Drake Guy's tumblr that Steph is a bully and abusive with Tim is that true. I ask since I know you seem to agree with a lot of the thoughts expressed on that blog. Can you help me find some examples of Tim/Steph comics. I was going to get YJ but the same tumblr blog says it's bad

So I want to preface with some very solid advice I've learned from being in fandom. It's really hard to learn anything from any blog because so much of it is opinion based, that the line between headcanon and canon gets far too muddied too often, and there's also always going to be biases that come from very personal spaces. It's important to take everything that every blog says ESPECIALLY in the DC fandom, with a very large grain of salt because half the fandom really doesn't actually seem to source their information with anything other than out of context panels, shitposts, or their own perfect ideals of what they want to gleam from the pages of each comic. It's all interpretive, and I'm sure that sounds a little bit petty, but I'm adding myself in here too because I have my own opinions separate from others, despite my firm ideology in staying as close to canon as I possibly can.

As far as that blog, I actually strayed away from them because I no longer agreed with a lot of what was being said. It got to the point where it was getting very unnecessarily negative all the time, and I want no part in this ship war that drives practically every bit of drama in the Tim fandom. I think that there is a lot of merit to some of the opinions on that blog, and they're clearly an expert on Tim in many ways. I knew them personally, so I can attest to that. But I think they also read only what they WANT to read on every page, and I think that makes for a lot of gaps where misinformation can leak in. That got filled with a lot of straight up wrong assessments of Stephanie Brown, and unfortunately that blog was already prime traffic for antis to spew unnecessary hate, so once the blog itself got on board, I tapped out.

No, Stephanie is not an abuser or a bully. I think tumblr throws around the word abuse far too casually. At most, Steph teases Tim, but never to a malicious or purposefully hurtful extent. She pokes at him, just like you would with a best friend. He barely even protests. A simple "Steph..." every now and again, but he even teases her back often and jokes with her. She's not an abuser, in fact, she herself is a victim of severe abuse in her childhood. Her flirting at the beginning of her and Tim's relationship is a bit intense, but she's 15, and doesn't know how to catch his attention. Her boyfriend was clearly way older than her and did not treat her well, her father abused her mother, and she was sexually harassed by her father's friends. She's never seen a healthy relationship to know how to act. Once they get together, she mellows out and is actually very compassionate and kind with Tim, and especially supportive.

A lot of haters throw around all this terrible stuff she did.

They say she stole Robin from Tim. He stepped away from the mantle, and she thought she caught him cheating, and Bruce opened up the opportunity for her.

They highlight a time when she almost blew Tim up. Bruce told her to do something drastic to force Tim to be a better Robin. Should she have thought it through? Yes. But she was young, and still desperate to prove herself.

Steph is a loose canon throughout a lot of her appearances. She doesn't always think before she acts, and that is one of her major flaws. She gets into trouble often, and that causes a lot of tension between her and Tim, often from him becoming overprotective of her.

Steph starts out fairly cynical in the beginning and softens up over time. After the explosion stunt with Tim, she does get her act together and she goes through a fantastic character arc where she really improves upon herself. She becomes a beacon of hope, but she really already was one. She's always been a source of light for Tim. She's a constant tether for him throughout their relationship, and she constantly bringing him back to reality. I think their dynamic is really great, and it does hurt me a lot how often she gets dragged through the mud now. It's tumblr, what can you do?

It's also interesting to me how often Steph is called out for being the unhealthy one, and they never talk about how Tim was the shitty boyfriend way more often:

Kept his identity from her but didn't respect keeping hers private

Kissed her when he was dating someone else at the time (he's actually kinda known for subtle two-timing, but this is hardly brought up by fans)

Essentially stalked her for a while

Often told her she needed to stop being Spoiler (overprotective nature yes...but still)

Interesting how the relationship is only toxic because of Steph. Hell she even gets shit for getting upset that Greta straight up tried to kill her in Young Justice, because they think it was selfish of her that she was desperate to learn Robin's identity. Yeah sorry...murder vs wanting to know your crushes name? Which is worse?

I'm also not going to sit here and demand that everyone love Steph. It's ok that people don't like her, I could give 2 shits, but if they're gonna spew hate, I'd prefer it be rooted in truth. Some of what I see written about her is just so so wrong...there's a trend in anti culture to even write her as Tim's rapist which YIKES. That's so beyond a healthy amount of dislike for a character.

Anyway, comic recs!!!

Detective Comics 647-648. (First appearance of Steph/Spoiler with classic "love at first brick" moment.)

Robin 57-65 (First date issue which is the cutest thing ever. Robin does a little flip at the end because he's so happy. And the chronology of Steph being pregnant which Tim was supportive of the whole time. Super sweet)

Robin 100-104 (Steph gets sick and Tim brings her soup. Lots of cute domestic moments, and you get more into Steph's past)

Robin 111 (more about Steph's past with Tim being super supportive, also the infamous piano issue which is a personal favorite of mine)

Robin 116 (very cute moments after Tim forgets his bday and everyone, Steph included, surprises him)

Robin 119 (supportive bf Tim, strikes again)

Robin 120 (Steph being an amazing supportive gf)

Batgirl 8 (Steph's run, where she and Tim collide again for the first time in a long time. Awkwardness and tension ensues, Tim tries to make a move)

Red Robin 10 (more crossover, very fun. More awkwardness and tension)

Convergence Batgirl (Not the best run, but a nice bit of closure for the pre flashpoint universe. Very sweet and wholesome.)

There's way more that I could list but I'm awful with issue numbers tbh. I know the stories, but I don't have the catalogue memorized. Better people than me have probably made a masterlist of TimSteph comics lol

I don't think you should let any blog turn you away from any particular series. I think if you wanna try out the new YJ, go for it!! I'm very cynical to anything published post 2011, but YJ is the only thing I've consistently read that's NEW, in years. I find it fun. Is it the best? No, not by miles, and it gets stuck with a lot of nonsensical filler often. But it's still a very cute and fun run.

I hope this ask gave you a lot of good info! I also recommend the very long post that should be just below this that goes into a lot of fandom misconceptions about Stephanie brown with more picture examples to highlight everything. Thanks for the ask, anon! I hope you have a lovely time reading these comics and hopefully many more!!

🖤💜❤😊😊😊❤💜🖤

[jokertrap-ran]

(未定事件簿) 莫弈 [剧情: 第2章] [Tears of Themis] Mo Yi Private Story Translations (Chapter 2-6)

*Tears of Themis Masterlist / Mo Yi’s Masterlist / Mobile Masterlist *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut *Mo Yi’s Private Story tag is #Tears of a Personal Psychiatrist. *Chapter 1 can be viewed here!

Location: Mo's Mental Health Research Center

After the questioning session, Mo Yi and I both came to the conclusion that Li Yu had been lying.

But a coffee shop with a huge influx of customers wasn’t really the place to be talking about things like this, therefore, we both returned back to Mo Yi’s Research Center to continue our discussion about Li Yu.

MC: You think Li Yu’s lying too? I was worried that maybe I was just overthinking things.

Mo Yi: Of course; the contradictions on her person were obvious enough, but before that...

He poured a cup of tea, gently nudging it towards me.

Mo Yi: Humor me and my selfishness a little, would you? Can I hear what you think about this first?

MC: Sure. You can also help me see if there are any loopholes in my own conclusions.

Mo Yi: Okay.

MC: The story that Li Yu told was very distinct, and very confusing.

MC: The “Five-step trapping method” was perfect and complete without a single fault or flaw; so much that it was to the point of being fake.

MC: But;

Mo Yi: But, what?

MC: Maybe she wanted to put the focus on the five-steps. That’s why she glazed over the more important details of the questions.

Li Yu’s slightly panicked expression flashed through my mind, making me frown.

MC: Firstly, she’d secretly downloaded the social application that everyone around her had been using out of curiosity; intending to try it out for herself.

MC: The system recommended Wang Chen to her after she had filled in the APP’s information collecting questionnaire. That’s when they both had their first contact with each other.

MC: ...But if that’s the case here, then some of her previous statements as well as some of the things she did will be, logically speaking, contradictory of itself.

Mo Yi: Oh?

MC: At that time, I had asked her if she usually used social software like this. Her answer was no.

MC: She'd also added that she had only wanted to take a look before deleting it immediately after.

MC: If so, then why would she waste so much time filling in that content-heavy questionnaire? And even then, why truthfully so?

Mo Yi: Maybe it's just a mandatory requirement from the software itself? Or perhaps Li Yu's just the type of person who's so serious that she's stubborn to a fault?

MC: ...We can't rule out that possibility either; but this isn't the only strange thing at this point.

MC: How would Wang Chen have ever known about that one unique line of hers if she didn't set up her own profile page?

MC: Even if the system was able to match people in accordance with their interests, even taking it a step further and connecting the two who both love the same title.

MC: This is still a line unique to herself. So just how will someone else, not to mention, a stranger, even learn about it all so easily like that?

I looked at Mo Yi, seeking his opinion.

He nodded.

Mo YI: Any other suspicious points?

MC: Yes. The second strange thing about all of this is the reason behind her suicidal scars.

MC: Li Yu said that those wounds were inflicted after they had broken up, because she couldn't bear to leave him; and used this as a way to convince him to get back together with her, but...

MC: But the end-goal of all PUAs tend to be the complete emotional obedience of the girl.

MC: In order to attain this goal, they'll have to be the one to take the initiative throughout all their interactions together and take control of their relationship. This is the only way that PUAs can guarantee that the girl will be put through the "Five-step Trap" according to every dictated step, until they completely fall apart in a desperate mess.

MC: But in Li Yu's case, this dynamic appears to have been switched since Wang Chen was the one making the compromises. This fails to fall in line with the usual PUA line of thought.

Mo Yi: But then, what if Wang Chen’s motive was to crush Li Yu’s self-esteem? He did accomplish that in the end after all.

MC: No. Generally speaking, when the girl reaches the state where their self-esteem has been all but crushed, they'd have already built a high level of emotional dependence with the PUA.

MC: Only through doing this, will the PUA be able to make a mountain out of a molehill with the girl's mistakes, using it to completely destroy their personality.

MC: Let's suppose that Wang Chen wished to use how she had "previously tried to break up" as the mistake to amplify; if so, then,

MC: He'd have to first ensure that Li Yu's emotional dependence on him is at a high enough level that she'd definitely want to get back together with him after breaking up; but…

I recalled what Li Yu had said back then.

MC: Li Yu suggested a breakup because she couldn't stomach how Wang Chen was also simultaneously dating many other girls. This goes to show that she has still maintained her sense of reason.

MC: Under these circumstances, there is a higher chance that Li Yu wouldn't get back with him. On the contrary, Wang Chen blocking her seems to be the more reasonable response here.

MC: If I were in his shoes, I'd much rather maintain the romantic relationship we have going between us and continue "brain-washing" Li Yu, rather than to run the risk of losing my prey.

MC: This way, all the previous work I've done doesn't go to waste, am I right?

MC: Besides… How should I put this…? The way she presented herself already exposed her.

Mo Yi: ……

MC: If I'm not wrong, that shiny thing under her eyes was probably to make her lower eyelids appear plumper to sell the "teary eyed" look.

MC: And judging from the color of the scars on her hand… I'd say that that was special effects make-up at play.

Having said that, I couldn't help but to sigh, feeling conflicted and semi-dejected about it all.

After hearing my explanation, Mo Yi's mood appeared no worse for the wear. He lowered his eyes as he thought on it for a while before the sides of his mouth slightly lifted.

Mo Yi: It looks like you don’t need me to explain anything anymore; you’ve already thought this whole thing through.

MC: Did you conclude that Li Yu was lying through these factors too?

Mo Yi: Not completely. The reason why I deduced as such was mainly through her moods and state of being as she spoke.

MC: Her mood and her state of being?

Mo Yi: Correct. It's normally a difficult feat for someone to remain completely impartial and rational when it comes to someone else, or another matter.

Mo Yi: This is especially true for PUA Victims. As they sink deeper and deeper into the web of lies that the opposing party weaves, they'll end up losing their judgement towards reality in exchange.

Mo Yi: If you study the self-accounts of these victims in detail, you’ll come to realize that most of them veer more towards “feeling” than “reason”.

Mo Yi: It is hard for them to take an impartial stance and completely tell someone else about the PUA techniques that they’ve been subjected to.

Mo Yu: But Li Yu was different.

I don’t know what thought had just slid into his mind, but his lips quirked up in a hint of mockery.

Mo Yi: The logic and explanation she gave was clear; the important points were all clearly highlighted. All the steps of the “Five-step Trap”; it’s progress, is clearly shown in her story.

Mo Yi: Also, Li Yu didn’t have any emotional fluctuations while she was re-telling the entire story, asides from the couple of times where she displayed some un-interesting waterworks, if it even counts.

MC: ...No wonder she gave me a weird sense of disconnect when I talked to her; It’s just as if she’s...

Mo Yi: As if she’s a third-party, who’s telling a story that has absolutely nothing to do with herself. It doesn’t hurt, nor does it tickle; but she has to put on an act by faking emotions.

MC: That’s it; that’s just how it feels like! Although she’d occasionally break out into tears at the table, I can’t really feel that she’s actually upset or anything like that.

MC: But based on what she said, she’d obviously already gone so far down the hole that she even contemplated suicide. If so, then how can she still be so calm?

Mo Yi: That’s precisely the case here.

MC: ...I’ve still got to give Li Yu a pat on the back for being able to make such an almost realistic lie.

MC: Truth to be told, if I didn’t notice the way she had presented herself and held onto a shred of suspicion, it’d be hard for me to say for sure that I wouldn’t fall for her bluff.

Mo Yi: Actually, what Li Yu said wasn’t entirely a lie. It was something fabricated from truth.

MC: A lie fabricated from truth!?

His words held such profound meaning that it shocked me the moment it came out of his mouth.

MC: Wha… Sorry, Dr. Mo; I really don’t understand what you’re getting at this time.

Mo Yi: It’s a very clever and high-handed way of doing things. I’d never have thought of this either, if I hadn’t noticed her little slip ups during her conversation.

Mo Yi: Earlier, you said that she had presented many loopholes when speaking of the details pertaining to the matter throughout the conversation; correct?

MC: Yes.

Mo Yi: Knowing all of the specifics detailing the “Five-step Trap”, yet nothing about the details when it comes to daily life.

Mo Yi: There's only one way this sort of narrative will appear in PUA-related cases.

MC: How?

Mo Yi: Most of the so-called "relationship mentors" use this sort of narratives to share their "hunting methods" with others when writing their own accounts.

MC: Dr. Mo, are you saying that Li Yu is...

Mo Yi: That's right. I think Li Yu should be someone from the PUA group herself; a staff member who’s responsible for converting the experiences of the Mentors into actual text.

Mo Yi: She put several cases to her knowledge to use by piecing them into a story. And it’s precisely because she’d haphazardly pieced them together, that the logical loopholes came to be.

Mo Yi: I think that the truth that binds all these stories together beneath the lie should be that Wang Chen had found a girl to target through a social media platform.

Mo Yi: Disguising himself as his persona of a “poet”, he approaches his target through an extremely targeted approach, succeeds, and everything goes smoothly without so much as a hitch.

Mo Yi: But the good times didn’t last long, for the girl realizes just who he really was and asked to break up; Wang Chen could only accede.

Mo Yi: This story should have ended here, at this point; but a story like this isn’t captivating at all, so she added suicide to the fray.

MC: Captivating…? So, you’re saying that Li Yu is knowingly trying to get us to investigate Wang Chen by guiding us to him?

MC: Hang on… I remember that she’d asked about the whole incident with He Kunpeng before she left, which means...

MC: Li Yu came charging headfirst at us! The groups that both she and Wang Chen hail from should be the very same one that we’re looking for!

Mo Yi: Correct.

MC: But if that’s the case, then wouldn’t it mean that the progress of our investigation has already been exposed?

Mo Yi: Probably not; Li Yu wouldn’t have asked you over and over again if you’d found any important leads otherwise.

Mo Yi: This is similar to how that chat group has suddenly disappeared; I think the other party is only aware of our actions.

Mo Yi: It’s just that this time, they got the information from somewhere or another that we were looking for a PUA Mentor who had hurt female students before, so that’s why...

Mo Yi: Rather than being a sitting duck and awaiting their own doom, how about taking the initiative and making the first move? Maybe abandoning this “pawn” that’s already been targeted will be able to save the rest of this game of chess.

Mo Yi: And Wang Chen just so happens to be both the one we’re looking for, and the “pawn”.

He expressed his deductions slowly and impactfully, answering several of the questions that had been nagging at me along his train of thought.

MC: So, we’re still going to investigate Wang Chen?

Mo Yi: Of course. A “pawn” he might be, but as long as he’s been on the chessboard before, he’ll have definitely left traces in his wake.

MC: If that’s the case, then let’s make the best of our time and act fast.

I enthusiastically voiced my assent and invited him to proceed on together, but he had suddenly gone quiet.

He looked at me quietly for a while before he finally spoke. But the words that left his lips were akin to a basin of cold water that had been set outside in a cold winter’s day, bearing a cold and biting chill.

Mo Yi: It'll be for the best if you don't take part in the upcoming course of action.

☆⋅⋆…⋅─────────── ⋆⋅✾⋅⋆ ───────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

Previous Part: (Chapter 2-4) | Next Part: (Chapter 2-7)

[doof-doofblog]

"You Can't Even Say It, Can You?!"

Double Episode Post

Monday 29th March 2021 - Tuesday 30th March 2021

Hello again everyone! Hope you're week is going well so far! I apologise for being so late, but this post is going to cover this week's Monday and Tuesday episodes, that way I will be completely up to date! Unfortunately I do have plans for the rest of the week so I probably won't be posting again until next Monday, where of course I'll post double episode posts just to make sure I've caught up with you all! I just want to say thank you for your patience and support, it really does mean the world!

Anyway, let's jump straight into it, so much drama happening right now! The first thing I have to mention first is Whitney, Kush and Gray! After the way Gray had spoken to them the night before, but Whitney and Kush appear to be discussing Gray's behaviour. Kush completely believes that Gray was out of order for talking to Whitney the way he did, especially considering she's been at his every beckon call looking after his kids over the last few months! But Whitney seems to stick up for her friend, claiming that he's been through a tough time and it's understandable why he'd be stressed out. I'm glad that Kush is slowly noticing Gray's flaws, only ever so slightly though!

Later on, Whitney goes to visit Gray but interestingly before she arrives we see Gray pull out some kind of piece of jewellery from his blazer pocket, at first I wasn't too sure what this was for, was it Chantelle's? Was it the piece of jewellery that had gone missing? Or was it for something else completely?! As Whitney finally arrives, Gray happens to mention that he has a work Gala event to go go, but he doesn't appear to be in the mood, considering he used to go with Chantelle every year. Oooooo Gray is really good manipulator isn't he?! It's blatantly obvious that he's dropping hints, informing Whitney that he doesn't want to go, so of course Whitney offers to attend the event with him and be his plus one, and of course Gray is ever so thankful and appreciative of her for suggesting such a thing, but what else makes it more creepy - when Whitney mentions she has nothing to wear for the event so Gray give her one of Chantelle's dresses to wear!

As Whitney is at home getting changed, Kush walks in to find her wearing the dress. Needless to say she does look stunning in it, but as Whitney admits it's actually Gray's deceased wife's dress she's wearing, makes her feel incredibly uncomfortable! I mean it's no secret that Gray has fallen for Whitney, but is it some kind of twisted ploy to replace Chantelle?! Who knows?! Kush is absolutely baffled when he learns about the dress and states that Gray must be going insane! What normal person would do such a thing?! But regardless of the slight concern, Whitney still tries her best to stick up for Gray, claiming that he's still a grieving man and dealing with a lot of stress. Kush seems to understand that his girlfriend is just doing Gray a favour, which of course she is - little do they know that it means something more for Gray.

Ooooh so the piece of jewellery that Gray had earlier he had actually bought for Whitney?! Was this all part of his plan? Or was it only going to be an apology gift for the way he spoke to her the previous night?! Gosh, my mind is asking all sorts of questions! Don't you guys find it incredibly creepy?! It's like Gray almost has this slight obsession with Whitney and knowing that she's dating Kush, seems to really grate on him! It's almost as if he can't have her, no one can! Eventually Gray and Whitney make their way to the Gala event, and it seems as if everyone's eyes are turned towards Whitney, but not so much in a good way. Not even a year after his wife's death - technically, it's only been just over 6 months - people are concerned that Gray has moved on ever so quickly from his deceased wife, plus the fact that Whitney was once his client makes it even more weird!

One of the main highlights for me was during the event, it was clear to see that Whitney was getting bored of out her skull! As she spots Gray speaking with colleagues, she approaches him claiming that she's been doing the "Signal" for a good while, but Gray pathetically apologises claiming that he thought she'd just had an itchy nose! It's clear that she isn't enjoying herself and has concerns about people staring at her! But the most brilliant part of that scene was the look on Whitney's face after realising what she had just eaten after being offered a canape' - snail!!!!! That was a hilarious and a very relatable moment, brilliant acting from Shona McGarty! She's truly brilliant!  

After a small chat with Gray and a quick goodbye, Whitney finally leaves the event - much to her relief, but to her surprise, Kush is sat outside the club waiting for her. As they share a portion of chips together on the side of the road, it's funny to see how comfortable they are together as Whitney lets out a burp! It's a funny moment which they both laugh at, even though I never saw this connection before, it's clear to see that they feel truly comfortable with each other, it's a relationship that I never thought I'd actually enjoy, but yes Kush and Whitney have always been good friends, but being in a relationship - it just works! As they continue to laugh at Whitney's actions, Kush makes an interesting response that they're like an old married couple - now this is what I didn't see coming - Whitney does the most amazing, honourable thing and gets down on one knee and proposes to Kush. He is totally stunned by her question, but accepts her proposal and they both hug with pure excitement and happiness! I truly felt that this was a beautiful moment, I know it's not traditional for the lady to pop the question, but it is the 21st century, why shouldn't women propose to their loved ones, I'd love to see it more often!

Of course, Gray has no knowledge about Whitney and Kush's engagement, but the interesting thing is when he returns from the Gala, he removes his wedding ring from his finger! Like, why?! Is he really over Chantelle already?! It's not until the following day when Whitney arrives at his place to take care of the kids that Gray eventually finds out. Whitney begins to explain that she was going to text him when she got home, which kind of puts a small smile on Gray's face, making him think she was going to thank him for a lovely evening or something, but it turns out she was just going to tell him about her and Kush's engagement! As Gray learns the news, you can see he has to put on a front, claiming that he's thrilled for both of them, but deep down - we know he's not as thrilled as he makes out, deep down, he's seething! As everyone gathers at Ruby's club to toast the happy couple, Gray arrives late but once again he can't help but be completely manipulative! As he steps to the bar, Kush approaches him saying that argument from the other day has been forgotten about, but Gray seems to be really sly, claiming that he's luckily to have Whitney - stating that she'd be willing to wait for him to get out of prison and they may be able to walk up the isle in about 4 or 5 years time! Ooooo, he's so conniving isn't he? What do we think will happen for Whitney and Kush, will they be able to get married before he goes to prison? Or is something even more devastating going to happen?!

--

The second thing I have to mention is Sharon! Now she's moved out of the Vic, I have been wondering where she's been staying, it turns out that she has moved in next door to the Slaters! To be fair, I was wondering where she had gone, whether she had moved in with someone, but turns out that she's managed to get herself her own place. Unfortunately having the Slater's as her neighbours is the price she's had to pay! She happens to mention to Callum that she's desperate to have a new start for her son, Albie! Realising that she's had to depend on Phil for a few things in her life, she take the opportunity to approach him about becoming a part of his money laundering business, regardless of giving her son somewhere to live, she needs to have some kind of business opportunity for her son, to provide for him, but also for something for her son to be proud of.

As much as Phil is willing to help his old friend out, Ben can't seem to understand how his Dad is still clinging to straws where Sharon is concerned. I guess I can understand Ben's concern, he clearly doesn't want his Dad to be made a fool of again. He makes the valid point that Sharon would never had ended up in this mess if she hadn't have slept with Keanu in the first place. In an attempt for once and for all keep Sharon away from his Dad, Ben takes it upon himself to confront her, but Sharon - being the vixen that she is, gives just as good as she gets, claiming that no one would even bat an eye-lid at Ben if he didn't share the same surname as his Dad! But interestingly, Ben gives her some food for thought, which leads to Sharon changing her mind about being involved with Phil's business. She approaches and Phil and claims she wants something that Albie can be proud of, she's had to confide in Phil for too long now and she needs to do things her way, for her son - which I think is perfectly reasonable and understandable!

The next day, she's look through the paper for all sorts of business opportunities, but as does so, she happens to over hear Peter and Kheerat talking about fitness! Could this be something that Sharon could look into? As Peter arrives home, looking worse for wear - I genuinely can't tell whether he's been for a run or whether he's been out getting pissed again - however, Sharon approaches him with an idea of getting into fitness. But Peter, being the immature male that his is, scoffs at the idea of Sharon wanting to get involved in fitness. She stands her ground though and claims that she doesn't want him to train her, but somehow grow a business in fitness, to which Peter sarcastically responds by questioning that she's wants to become a Personal Trainer?! Realising she's not getting anywhere with Peter, she seems to visit an old venue of the Square, something which I always thought got turned into "Ruby's". We see Sharon look at her phone and contact Jack, purposing that she has a business opportunity for him, but we can see that she's stood beside a business of building of some kind named "Ronnie!" - was this Ronnie's club or something before she passed away?! I can't remember what this piece was, if anyone can remind me, I'd love to find out! What could Sharon's next business be?!

--

The next thing on my list is the Slater's - mainly Lily for a change this time! Can I just say how brilliant it is to see the young actors and actresses being in the centre of a story for a change? After learning that her Mum is going to be going to prison, Lily can't seem to understand why her Nan isn't doing anything to help. Poor Jean has so much on her plate right now, she's having to deal with her terminal cancer and the fact that her daughter is going to prison. Interestingly, she happens to mention that this day happens to be Stacey's final day of freedom! Does this mean she'll be going to prison or going to trial very soon?!

Meanwhile, in another part of the Square, Billy and Honey are waiting to hear news about Janet's audition, eventually both Lily and Will happen to meet up on the Square, together they share stories about their families being at each other's throats. Lily confiding in Will about her Mum going to prison, the fact she called Ruby her "Wicked Step-Mum" was brilliant! But Will also informs her that his family isn't as different, as he's having to cope with his Mum and Dad bickering over his Mum's new relationship with Jay - it seems these two youngsters have more things in common than I realised. They both have dysfunctional families! To cheer his friend up, Will invites Lily to the celebratory party that's been planned for Janet.

As Lily and Will observe the events and discussions taking place in front of them, Lily questions whether Billy and Jay are rowing or actually being civil with each other, but the next thing that Will says seems to play on Lily's mind. He mentions that since Honey had her fall, both Jay and Billy have been nice to each other, mainly because they've had no choice. As Janet arrives for her surprise party it's revealed that she's been given the job for the ad campaign. As Lily returns home, Will's words play on her mind. She finds herself at the top of the stairs, she can overhear her Mum and Jean discussing what's going to happen over the next few days. Suddenly we hear a horrendous scream, Lily is seen lying almost unconscious at the bottom of the stairs. The poor girl has thrown herself from the stairs in an attempt to stop her family from arguing. Will she be okay?!

--

The final thing I need to mention is Mick and Frankie! After trying to get to know his daughter a lot better, he's come to learn that Frankie hasn't got her driver's licence yet. Determined to teach his daughter to drive, he takes Frankie out in the car, unfortunately things don't go to plan when the car seems to pack in! As much as Frankie tells her Dad not to worry, Mick begins to feel distraught, considering the fact the he hasn't been there for her as a child, he's eager to be there for her now she's come into his life. Eventually they manage to get the car starting again, however they're met with another issue when a car-park attendant places a ticket on the windscreen of the car.

As much as Mick tries to co-operate with the attendant, things only seem to escalate when he's accused of being a repeat offender. Mick admits he's taught his other children to drive in the exact same way, but the car-park attendant seems to really insult him by claiming he's broken the law numerous amounts of times. As Mick appears to lose his patience, he rips the ticket off the windscreen and throw it back at the attendant, poor Frankie is silent as she watches the events happening in front of her, luckily she thinks on her feet, gets into the car, starts the engine and reverses quickly for her Dad to jump in! In Mick's shock at her driving skills, he lunges into the car and they speed off before the car-park attendant can do anything else.

As they get home they determined to try again, but I have to say I love Frankie's humour! Claiming that she'd make a brilliant get away driver, she hilariously puts on a pair of tights over her head to play the role! After another successful driving lesson, it looks as if the car seems to have another issue, as Mick continues to see to the car, his phone begins to ring. Frankie finds it, claiming it's a bloke called "Tom" - however Mick informs her to ignore the call, instantly Frankie is suspicious and begins to question her Dad, however Mick seems to make a comment which doesn't sit well with Frankie, claiming she's "Beginning to sound like her Mother!". Frankie is deeply hurt by this comment and walks away, making Mick realise he's said the completely wrong thing!

In a desperate attempt to make it up to her, he follows and claims that the bloke he ignored the phone call from was someone he was meant to speak to revolving around his sexual abuse as a child. Frankie completely understands and Mick states that because she's his daughter, she will be a Carter! As they return to the Vic, Frankie appears to be confronted by old school bullies who seem to have tracked her down after hearing the news about her Mum. Mick however seems to seething after hearing everything they're saying, but Frankie is proves that she is more than capable of looking out for herself, putting the bullies right in their place, which leaves a huge smile on Mick's face, she truly is his daughter! Only as they try again when she's behind the bar, Mick takes his chance to step in, however when he informs them to stop hassling Frankie her referrers to her as his "Staff" and not his daughter! This clearly upsets Frankie as she comes realise that even though she's longing to become a part of his family and become a real "Carter" - Mick finds it really hard to call her his "Daughter!" - even though he's said it directly to her, he can't seem to admit it to other people!

I really hope that Mick will overcome this fear of admitting who Frankie really is, if he's has any hope of building a relationship with her, that is the first thing he's going to have to do! I know I've said it once and I'm going to say it again, I really can't wait for Nancy to return, I'm really excited to the see the sister dynamic between Nancy and Frankie, it's going to be brilliant! What do you think of the soap so far? If there are thoughts and opinions you'd like to share, please feel free to leave me a comment or message, I'll always take the time to respond! Thank you all for your on-going support! Love you all xXx

[razberryyum]

The Untamed/陈情令 Rewatch, Episode 15

(spoilers for everything MDZS/Untamed)

[covers MDZS chapters 57 and 58]

Yunmeng pain meter: 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪 out of a possible 10 🔪  

(no WangXianness to measure, so I’m counting knives instead)

I’m going to be honest: the next couple of episodes are NOT my favorites in the series. First of all, there’s the almost unrelenting Yunmeng pain we’re subjected to, followed by that weirdness in Yiling (which I will get into when I get there) and then there’s even more pain. Not to mention, Lan Zhan’s pretty much MIA during this episode and the next three, and while it’s understandable why he’s not involved, I still really felt his absence and missed him a lot. As a result, I kind of dragged my heels on getting to this episode during this rewatch since I wanted to give myself some time to prepare for the arduous emotional turmoil that lied ahead. Stupidly, as a means of procrastination, I decided to read “The [Dumb] Husky and his White Cat Shizun” (aka 2HA/二哈和他的白猫师尊) by Meatbun Does Not Eat Meat, thinking that it would perhaps provide me with a bit of levity before I delved into all the Yunmeng pain.  Oh my God, was THAT a WRONG decision.  HORRIBLY WRONG. It was equivalent to me choosing to jump into the hot oil in order to escape from the frying pan...so now the frying pan isn’t looking too bad anymore. Here’s the thing, I had not read any spoilers about 2HA, only heard that it was really good, and I figured, it had to at least be less painful than MXTX-laoshi's Heaven Official’s Blessing (aka TGCF/天官赐福) because I DID hear how painful that is, so even though TGCF is also in my queue, I figured, I’ll read 2HA first to alleviate my mood. I am literally still trying to recover from the emotional scars that 2HA left in my poor weak heart. Seriously, Meatbun-laoshi owes me 300 more chapters of bliss to make up for all that suffering. It’s not that MXTX-laoshi didn‘t leave scars on my heart—I have plenty from MDZS/The Untamed too, and to a lesser degree from Scum Villain as well—but I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that 2HA left two-fold the amount of both of them combined.  I shudder to think what TGCF is going to do to me since I’ve been told in terms of devastation it’s even worse than MDZS and SVSSS, but I’m not sure how it ranks next to 2HA.  Just to be on the safe side, I definitely don’t think I’m going to touch that novel until I’ve finished crying through The Untamed all over again.  

And wow did I cry a lot during this episode, and it’s only the start of the Yunmeng pain.  I chose to highlight the scene above where Madame Yu bitch-slaps the shit out of Wang Lingjiao because it’s really the only jovial-adjacent moment in this episode and the next ones. The first time I saw this scene, I laughed my ass off and cheered out loud since Madame Yu was doing what I pretty much wanted to do to Wang Lingjiao since back in the Xuanwu of Slaughter’s cave when she branded Wei Ying. But now, it doesn’t bring me as much joy as it did when I watched it for the first time, knowing that it is the essential domino that gets knocked over which lead to the subsequent cascade of events that brought about the near-obliteration of the Yunmeng Jiang sect, the deaths of Mama and Papa Jiang, all the emotional and physical suffering that the three Yunmeng siblings experience, and of course the drastically different and ultimately tragic turn that Wei Ying’s life takes. So even though the bitch-slap scene still makes me smile, it mostly fills me with dread now, especially because of how quickly things take a turn for the worse. Of course I wish Madame Yu had succeeded in murdering every Wen sect member in that room, that Wang Lingjiao didn’t get a chance to summon Wen Zhuliu or succeed in sending that signal to bring Wen Chao and the wrath of the Wen sect down upon the Yunmeng Jiang sect. But perhaps what is the saddest aspect of the whole thing is, even if none of that happened, that STILL doesn’t mean the Jiangs and the rest of the sect would have escaped their destiny because there was no way Wen Chao or even Wen Ruohan would have let them get away with killing Wang Lingjiao and Wen sect members. So the destruction of the Yunmeng sect was inevitable sooner or later. More importantly, if the events didn’t lead to Wei Wuxian losing his golden core, getting thrown in the Burial Mounds, and practicing demonic cultivation, then the Wen sect’s rule over the cultivation world, and maybe even the world in general, would’ve been absolute and undeterred since the Sunshot Campaign was pretty much won because of Wei Ying. So basically, there is no way to escape horror and tragedy: no matter what line of dominoes got knocked over, they all eventually lead to an abyssmal pit of misery.  

So Many Tears

Really I should just go through this episode by tracking the amount of times I teared up or straight up just cried, starting with this moment:

Seeing Madame Yu whip Wei Ying just made my heart ache so much: it’s one of my least favorite scenes of the entire show; so much so that this might be only the second time I’ve watched this moment all the way through. Actually, I can probably say the same about this episode and the next one as well: I think this is only the second time that I’ve been able to sit through these episodes from beginning to end since the first time I watched them. What makes this scene especially sad for me is the uncertainty of whether or not Madame Yu was just whipping Wei Ying for show and took no pleasure in it, or did she secretly relish this opportunity because she disliked Wei Ying that much. Considering their history, it’s hard not to believe that it’s probably mostly the latter. And while I want to think that she would have felt bad about cutting off Wei Ying’s hand, the unfortunate truth is that I’m sure she would’ve gotten over that pretty quickly. If it wasn’t for Wang Lingjiao bringing up the matter of turning their home into a supervisory office for the Wen Sect, Wei Ying definitely would have lost that hand, that was pretty clear. It’s rather disheartening that Madame Yu didn’t even try to talk Wang Lingjiao out of that punishment. I remember wishing that at the last minute she would come around and ask for mercy on Wei Ying’s behalf, even though that would have been out of character for her.  So while her compliance wasn’t unexpected, it was still disappointing at the same time because if it had been Jiang Fengmian, no doubt SOME attempt would’ve been made to save Wei Ying’s hand. But at the end of the day, that’s unfortunately the nature of Wei Ying’s relationship with Madame Yu, which to me is one of her biggest flaws as a person. I love her overall, I think I’ve made that pretty clear, but her inability to forgive the existence of this orphan and accept him as one of her own is really her most upsetting trait, because even though she’s constantly arguing with her husband, she obviously does love and care about him.

I actually thought this was a really sweet moment since it plainly showed how much Madame Yu cared about Jiang Fengmian, even though she would never admit so in front of everyone, and I love the “kids” reaction. They’re probably used to scenarios like this so their little smiles just made the moment cuter and more real.

Even though what we’ve seen of the interactions between the Jiang parents was usually contentious, I appreciate the fact that we also got some sweetness like this moment, even though it also made me sad that they couldn’t be more loving to each other because Madame Yu couldn’t  get over her own petty jealousy over a dead woman. I actually teared up during the scene when her Zidian transferred over to her husband right after Jiang Fengmian clearly expressed his doubt it would answer to him.  

To me, this moment really encapsulated how disharmonious their relationship was, how out of sync they were as a couple. Even though Madame Yu clearly loved her husband enough to grant him ownership of her most prized sentient weapon, she never told him and he himself had NO IDEA of his wife’s feelings for him whatsover to the point that he didn’t even think the weapon would respond to him.  There’s just something so sad about that whole scenario that it literally makes my heart ache for the Jiangs. I really wish there had been more understanding, communication and forgiveness in their marriage, and less jealousy, resentment and obstinacy.  It wouldn’t have changed their fates, but at least their time together would have been happier and their family life would’ve been more joyful and peaceful.  

Even More Tears for Wei Wuxian

My heart really broke for Wei Ying during both Madame Yu and Jiang Fengmian’s farewell scenes with their children because of how obviously different they treated him compared to Jiang Cheng and Shijie. I think when this episode first aired, I had only started reading the novel so I didn’t know just how bitter Madame Yu felt towards Wei Ying; therefore, when I initially watched this moment, I was actually holding on to the hope that at the last minute, she would come around and even if she did not give him a hug then perhaps at least she would soften up a little towards him. 

Of course that was super crazy wishful thinking on my part, and honestly considering how this was the last time she would ever see Wei Ying again—this boy whom she more or less watched grow up into a man—she was pretty fucking brutal. The contrast between her attitude toward her son and Wei Ying almost took my breath away. I can only imagine Wei Ying probably never felt more unloved and like a servant than in that moment. Just looking at the screencap right now is making my eyes well up again for him. He looked so HURT. 

Not to mention, her last words to Wei Ying really is pretty devastating, considering how momentous a catalyst it ended up being. He essentially gave up his life and future because of her words. And it’s not that Wei Ying wouldn’t have sacrificed himself for Jiang Cheng anyway, but I’m sure her words, and Jiang Fengmian’s shortly after, is what drove him on to make the decision he did at Yiling, which lead to just about every tragic event in this first lifetime afterwards.  

Speaking of Jiang Fengmian’s farewell, it also made my heart hurt so much for Wei Ying because even though Papa Jiang’s good-bye was much more warm and gentle than Madame Yu’s, if there ever was even a smidgen of suspicion in Wei Ying’s mind that the rumors of him being Jiang Fengmian’s illegitimate child were true, his final parting words and gesture to him compared to how he is with Jiang Cheng and Shijie had to have put that thought to rest.  

There was no tender face touching, just a good old shoulder grab followed by instructions to take care of his two children. I know the argument would be, well, Jiang Cheng and Shijie ARE his actual biological children, why wouldn’t Jiang Fengmian be more affectionate towards them in their final time together? Very valid, of course, but I guess I was also hoping his actions wouldn’t be any different among the three of them because he seemed to have really loved Wei Ying as well, to the degree that both his son and wife got jealous of his seeming favoritism. If only Madame Yu was also present to see this moment, she would probably realize all her jealous accusations and suspicions over the years really were utterly stupid and pointless.

They Cry, I Cry

I would have to be a monster to NOT cry during this scene. I was a sobbing mess, and really. I don’t think I’ll ever not be one during this scene no matter how many times I watch it. Frankly, I don’t even want to see it again after this time because it’s just too unbelievably sad. This whole episode really drains me, and yet I know the worst is yet to come.  

Ode to Jin Zhu and Yin Zhu

These two ladies who are essentially Madame Yu’s right and left hands barely had any screen time or dialogue, but they more than made their mark with what they little had. Just by their defiant attitudes and the way they stood up to Wang Lingjiao, they were able to successfully convey both their status in the Jiang household and their strength of character. I really loved the economy and effectiveness of their brief time on-screen. Talk about making every single second count.  Not to mention, they were able to hold off Wen Zhuliu long enough to allow their mistress to properly say good-bye to her son, and that is definitely no small feat to accomplish. I wish we had more time with them but I do believe these two loyal attendants deserve some solid recognition and accolades.  

I Hate This Asshole

I wish the Wens had killed this SOB too when they obliterated his sect.  I don’t dislike Jin Guangyao or Xue Yang, but I absolutely dislike Sect Leader Yao. 

VOMIT

I HATE everything about this scene, and to be honest, I hate just about every scene involving Wen Ruohan in his throne room. The performance by Xiu Qing is just so horrible that I truly don’t understand WHY they gave him so much more screen time since that’s not how it was in the novel at all. I think Wen Ruohan only popped up twice in the source material, with the second time being his death scene. I know this was probably Team CQL’s way of extending the episode count but man was Wen Ruohan poorly cast. Why couldn’t they find someone closer to his donghua counterpart? Instead we’re stuck with this greasy old man who overacts in every single freaking scene he’s in. I’m not familiar with this actor’s work, I looked him up and I don’t think I’ve seen most of the shows he’s in so if he’s actually a well-respected veteran actor or something like that, and that’s why they expanded his role in The Untamed, then, wow, I’m sorry, I am just not a fan at all.  As for the other crap going on in that throne room, don’t even get me started on those shitty Yin Metal zombies. So. Damn. CRINGEY. Everything about these Qishan scenes are really a big blemish on the show. 

Questions I Still Have

Don’t really have any...really too sad to think.

Overall Episode Rating: 7 Lil Apples out of 10

[hopevalley]

What are your favorite and least stories from each Season and why?

Oh man, this is a really thought-provoking question! I’ll try to come up with good answers (even though sometimes the seasons blur together a little bit):

I’ll give some basic thoughts on each season and what worked/didn’t work for me.

Season 1

While I appreciate that they made the effort to have Elizabeth stick out (vs. blending in with all the Poors), she was downright unbearable at times in the early seasons. Her wanting to help and coming up with ideas is pretty decent in terms of story structure and even characterization/character motivation, but holy cow was it intrusive and nosy/patronizing of her sometimes! I think the point might have been to give Elizabeth flaws, which is great, but people just seemed to accept it, and her, too quickly, at least for my liking. A shame because I felt like her struggling to fit in would 1) be good for her character/force her to understand that to be accepted here she has to concede to giving up her former lifestyle, and 2) be a great, GREAT way for her and Abigail to bond and become friends, since this is something Abigail also struggled with!

So basically, the ‘story’ of Elizabeth coming to fit in in Coal Valley? Vaguely rubbish.

So much DID work, though, and could have been expanded upon for even better storytelling!!! This is especially true of the widows/related stories.

Loss of faith/faltering faith

Loss of personal identity

Moving on/past grief

Processing guilt 

Protecting the memory of a deceased loved one

We also had some great smaller personal stories.

Genius child has to work in the mine because there’s no one else ot take care of his family

Young man can’t read and has to work in the mine (and even after he does start learning how to read, probably doesn’t get to leave). Elizabeth still taking the time to try and help him still means something!

Season 2

I will never forgive the series for its convoluted attempt at a love triangle, here. Charles wasn’t unlikable, but he was OBVIOUSLY interested in Elizabeth romantically, and I don’t feel she’d be so stupid as to be blind to that, old chum or not.

Basically, it was one of the worst plots to ever exist on the show, because it just wasn’t believable in any capacity and felt like drama that existed to be a roadblock more than anything.

Also, not to whine, but Bill’s whole ‘counterfeit money’ plotline wasn’t very well-written.

The plot itself makes sense, but the way it bounced around seems to have just confused enough people that no one even remembers this was a thing.

That said, I think it was a good plot for the character... It was just not executed as well as it needed to have been to make a difference/really shine.

There are a lot of small things from S2 that were pretty nice, though.

Abigail’s fight to help Clara was meaningful, but I’m not sure how I feel about the addition of Clara from a writing standpoint. I feel like Abigail should have felt something was off about Peter’s trips from the start... The issue is that Hamilton is VERY far away and it’s VERY doubtful Peter would have ever gone there. Union City makes more sense if we’re talking about picking up shipments.

Tom and Julie were entertaining if nothing else.

I couldn’t tell you a single thing that happened in Hope Valley in S2, but I’m sure there were Events.

Season 3

Honestly I don’t think S3 had anything horrible in it. It just wasn’t very inspiring at times? It was like they had all these really good ideas but didn’t want to fully commit to any of them.

Henry Gowen was a star.

Frank was excellent in this season.

The biggest issue I have with this plot is simply that they didn’t take it all the way. Either he’s a dangerous man to allow to stay in town or he’s not. Saying he is doesn’t make it so. A rock through a window? Okay, sure...that’s threatening I guess. But it didn’t feel like enough to turn the whole town.

And again, having him barely doing anything even though he’d definitely be worried for Abigail and Cody’s safety is just inane.

Still, overall the whole thing was pretty good/well-done. Especially that unexpected turn at the end where Henry helped turn the tide. (I still wish that had gone somewhere and wonder even now if they had an idea they wanted to use and didn’t get the chance to.)

Abigail adopting children was nice. I wish Becky hadn’t been a part of it at all though. Like the IDEA is nice, but I can’t imagine she’d believe in it all as fast/readily as she does? This plotline just seemed great for Cody and meaningless to Becky, IMO.

But hey, the thing with Cody is meaningful enough. My issue is just that he’s like, 8 or 9 and remembers his parents very clearly, so I don’t think he’d be that willing to replace them. I guess it could just be his personality, but it might make more sense for him to be like 5-6 years old instead (less attached with fuzzier memories by this point if they’ve been on the run awhile).

Despite my qualms I think this was a pretty good story for Abigail. Just wish they hadn’t dropped her role as a mom as quickly as it felt they did.

Hattie was a good character and I enjoyed her introduction story. It was sad, but it felt good/satisfying.

Bill buying Henry’s share in the café was a great little thing. Maybe too convenient and itching for a story of its own (instead of it just happening), but overall a good idea.

Jack’s mom coming to town was entertaining. She had some really good lines. Lard in coffee. I mean...this was gold.

Season 4

The peddler was a cute addition but I didn’t much care for the overt magical element.

If it felt a little more real/grounded/down to earth I think I might have been more intrigued. 

Frank getting his original Bible back was a GREAT story but when they tried tying it into his vaguely stalker-like behavior? It just ruined the entire thing.

For what it’s worth, Frank’s character goes downhill pretty sharply in this season.

There were a lot of cute kid storylines in this one. But they weren’t all...great...

Robert telling the lie about the bear? Nice.

The kid with the knee brace? Ugh.

The storyline itself wasn’t bad!

But after Becky miraculously recovered the previous season it just felt like a slap in the face. I live with chronic pain and it’s just one of those things where I’d like a little representation somewhere.

I still think Becky should have stayed wheelchairbound.

I can’t get over how insulting it was that she just MIND OVER MATTER FIXED HERSELF. The writer who put that in there should be slapped, and the writer who wrote the saME GODFORSAKEN STORY AGAIN with this child should also be slapped.

I really feel that if they were gonna let Becky recover like that, this kid should be living with a permanent disability and this episode could deal with kids helping him play/doing activities he could participate and enjoy.

Maybe it’s too on-the-nose but the hardest part about a chronic illness/disability of any kind is the part where you lose things you loved to do that you considered a part of your identity. That’s an awfully deep storyline for WCtH, but they should have gone for it here.

Phillip was in between.

Phillip and his father were great, but Elizabeth was just SO incredibly awful. This is where she and Abigail started always being right about everything and I felt her involvement was unbearable.

They should have just let Faith take over Elizabeth’s role in that plot and it would have been way better. They could have had the eyesight issue earlier and done something great with it.

Frank and Abigail’s relationship at the beginning of this season was pretty interesting. Even though the whole “danger” thing was a little goofy, it was nice to see them communicating and adjusting. 

It felt like a natural issue people would actually have. And it wasn’t smoothly worked out, which is fine.

Also, Rosemary’s interference was hilarious.

RIP to the following:

Frank’s character after his earlier scene, because he doesn’t get anything else that’s actually in character.

Good writing because Carson is now the town hero he’s gonna save Cody from appendicitis because other doctors are just completely stupid!

Also Carson is a surgeon so TAKE THAT, regular doctors!

Doug. You were a real bro, my guy.

I DID like Doug’s role in the story, though. His death made some sense, but it was ill-timed. (How convenient that we only even hear of him moments before his death lol.)

AJ Foster is a highlight of S4 for me. I love her, and for the most part I love her introduction.

She’s such a pain in the neck, but she also talks a lot of sense.

The writing isn’t great for her, or for Bill in these scenes, but at least there was An Attempt™.

I appreciate that they introduced the idea of her much earlier in the season and built up to her actual appearance, which I couldn’t have guessed would be relevant early on.

Considering how the officers at my company hate our IRS auditor, I find the fact that AJ has enemies beyond believable.

Railroad shenanigans were pretty entertaining in this season, too.

Season 5

The last episode at least tried to be kind to the characters, so I appreciate it.

Elizabeth’s conversation with her father before her wedding was a highlight of the entire season.

AJ’s return plot was abysmal.

I’d be terribly embarrassed to have been the one to write this, especially considering how completely whack it feels next to the other plots.

I’ve ranted about this so many times I should have run out of steam but BOY is it cringey. This is the height of Bill-is-a-grumpy-old-man as a Thing in this series and this is probably when it is its worst.

The rattlesnake plotline was contrived as heck, but the only thing to make it worse was how weird everyone acted.

Rhonda was a good character and the plotline, if it wasn’t so rushed, would have actually been really great. I still liked it overall, though.

Frank’s send-off was dumb, but at least he got one on-screen.

I still can’t believe they killed their main romantic male lead off-screen.

What the heck...

Abigail was really, really annoying in this season, and so was Elizabeth. Unbearable.

Also, I still hate the pregnancy oooops~~ ♥♥ plot at the end of the grieving episode. Really? COME ON. I know they wanted to give the fans hope but it was jarring.

Season 6

I still HATE the nativity == baby Jack’s birth parallels. 

Why did they feel the need to do that. Why couldn’t we have just gotten pregnant Elizabeth shenanigans?

They put Jack’s DEATH ON THE TOMBSTONE like how is she popping out a baby less than two months later when she didn’t even know she wa---?F?DJSAFLJDSAFHLDSAL?

Abigail?

DELETED.

Thank goodness.

Bill?

Assassinated. Or at least, his character was.

This is bad. :(

On the plus side he gets promoted to the position of JUDGE...and barely does anything worthwhile with it...yet.

GODFATHER BILL. The best thing in this season.

Fiona?

A goddess. I love her.

Lucas?

Slimy.

But handsome.

The 4th Property Brother. He even tries his hand at renovating.

Nathan?

Honest and good.

Pretty cute.

Works together with Bill once in one of Bill’s only good scenes.

The oil plotline is actually pretty good/fun. Jesse and Clara get more scenes finally. 

Elizabeth isn’t the focus of everything.

Lee and Rosemary got like, no mention in any of these posts but mostly because it felt like they were never really doing anything before, but I did feel like they were given a little more meaningful lines/places in this season.

--

How’s this for an attempt? :P I’m probably missing A LOT but I can’t recall everything too easily!

[ironwoman359]

Learning New Things About Ourselves

 Observations, thoughts, and screenshots! 

(under the cut, because spoilers and also LONG)

Patton: “Take it from me. That’s not the way to work out your feelings.” Oof, you really can see Patton’s growth in this episode, he’s so much more aware of himself now. 

Patton: *gasp* Logan!!!!

“It’s Patton!”

Oh my goodness, he’s so excited to see him, Logan, acknowledge him, he’s so happy to see you. 

Logan and Roman are acting like they haven’t even made the progress they have recently, that’s how you really know something is off with Thomas. 

Thomas: Uh, guys? *makes the face*

Patton: “*gasp* I know that face!”

“My child is returning”

Virgil: Thomas you have got to do something about this!  Thomas: But this is what they always do. Right? Oof, Thomas, even if so, that’s not good. You need to help them solve their issues, or there’s never going to be any peace around. 

Patton is so aggressive in his love for Virgil, it’s so cute. And AWWWWW, Virgil gave Patton a dad themed nickname! That’s so precious, my moxiety loving heart is so happy right now! 

AAAAAH, just look at them, they’re best friends and I love it so much. 

(also mood with the arm thing, Thomas)

Virgil’s just all Roman, you’re an insecure moron, Logan, you’re an inconsiderate jerk, can you both just COOL it now? I do love that now, Virgil acts much more often as the “common sense we need,” like, lately he’s been an identifier of a lot of the problems and now that he’s actually listened to, it makes things go way smoother. 

Roman: “I’m not insecure!” Yes sweetie, yes you are.

R&L: I’M THE MOST IMPORTANT SIDE HERE! Everyone’s faces omg:

Virgil: “All I’m saying is you both suck at what you do and I’m tired of having to keep lighting fires under your butts.” 

Also, typical, Roman is trying to defend himself, Logan took Virgil way too literally, and Virgil is making gay jokes until Patton calms them all down. 

Patton, my hero, knowing how to get each of them to shut up, I am so using that in future fics. 

They all zero in so quickly on what Patton gives them:

(Also look at Patton’s face, this is like, a rare moment when he shows off how powerful he actually is. Not just as a strong influencer in Thomas’s personality, but like, he knows them all so well. He knows how they all tick, he knows their feelings better than they do, and he knows exactly how to calm each of them down. He probably also knows exactly how to work each of them up, too, but he doesn’t because he’s Good. This just...it makes me think of human aus where Patton is somehow able to get the whole school to listen to him or retaliates against bullies, and I love it.) 

Happy, distracted bois.

Roman the artist, you’re doing amazing sweetie, wow.

Patton figuring all this out is my jam, tbh. 

You can see the gears turning in his head, and then he has that AhHa! moment, and he doesn’t have the answers, but he knows that’s okay, they just need to do some soul searching to find out what the question is. 

And the others don’t get what he means, but LOGAN, the smart one, he realizes! He understands, and he comes SO close to saying “Patton, you’re a genius!” that it physically hurt me. (I think Logan is afraid, in that moment, but I’ll leave that analysis for another post) 

Logan is so dang proud of himself for that hat. 

Thomas: How did I used to learn things? Logan: Textbooks. Roman and Virgil: Mistakes. Patton: Puppets!!!  I do find it telling that Virgil and Roman both claimed mistakes as Thomas’s biggest source of learning. It not only highlights their tendency to work together on things such as acting and creating, but also how much they both think about their own pasts...I think it’s safe to say that the two of them are more introspective than Patton and Logan. Patton has learned to be more introspective and aware of himself with time, but for both Roman AND Virgil, that constant inner thought process is at the core of their function. No wonder they gave the same answer to that question. 

Virgil immediately jumping to Patton’s defense, “OR we could hear him out! He’s already made ONE valid point today.” I love how protective Virgil is of Patton, and again, I’ll probably go deeper on this in another post. 

I like how this keeps the canon from the other shapeshifting video, that Virgil has a harder time shapeshifting than the others. I also love how he immediately was like “Nope, nope, I can’t pull this off this was dumb” until Thomas reassures him. 

Patton: “You know what happens when you assume! You make an AS out of SU and ME!”  Patton has the dirtiest sense of humor out of all of them and NO ONE shall convince me otherwise. 

Logan throwing that flashcard, yikes.  

So much anger, but also so much instant regret.

Honestly, I think he’s really scared of himself right here, and it’s no wonder that he offered to leave before he could make things worse. But then when Patton refuses to let him leave again (he remembers what happened last time), he seems so surprised, as though he hadn’t expected Patton to care about his opinion enough to ask him to stay. 

Patton is so on the right track here, jumping STRAIGHT to talking about feelings, even though the others don’t like that idea, he insists, knowing that it’s the only thing that will really help them. 

When Thomas expresses that he feels unworthy of feeling bad, Patton shoots that down, knowing it to be unhealthy. I also feel like the line “It’s not your feelings job to make sense,” isn’t just about emotions, it’s about him too. He knows he’s silly, he knows he doesn’t always make sense (especially the way Logan wants him to), but he also knows his worth as a part of Thomas. And he’s going to do his job, dang it. 

I like how Virgil calls out both Logan AND Roman equally in this, both telling Logan to cool it with the deadlines, but also agreeing that Roman hasn’t been performing adequately. I also like how Virgil isn’t right throughout the WHOLE video too, I mean, he’s wrong right here, trying to fix the issue he sees on the surface without first examining the underlying emotions, because that makes him, Anxiety, uncomfortable. 

When Logan insists that no one is listening to him, Thomas then says, alright, I’ll hear you out. What should we do? 

I love the way that Patton, yet again, was the one able to guide Thomas to the question he needed: Am I doing the right thing with my life?

Logan: “If you asked me, I could list several factors that could be contributing to your doubts.” *looks around the room* 

I love that Virgil finally is just like “woah, Logan, what are some of those things?” He knows that’s what Logan wants, and that he’s not going to continue until he hears that verbal validation. 

Virgil the Count. 

“NO ONE TAKES YOU SERIOUSLY!” “Four. Four uncomfortable characters. In this room.” 

Logan is very concerned about Thomas’s image (and also his own) and you can TELL he’s been thinking about this for some time, but been holding it back because, despite how concerned he is, the others seem happy. So he’s held in what he thinks. But he can’t do that any longer. 

“You eat some jam, accidentally tell a few puns and now you’re all sensitive about not being taken seriously?” “I’M NOT A JOKE!” Someone hug him.  He even flat out SAYS that right now, he’s not being listened to. “I can’t be thought of as such, because there will be times in which I must be heeded, and given our current circumstances, I clearly haven’t been.”

Virgil validating Logan’s opinions even as he expresses his disagreement. 

Virgil: “Don’t start with me Thomas. I have plenty of hate to go around.”  Patton: “Oh very funny Virgil, you cute little muffin. Thomas, you know he doesn’t mean it. Now––”  After this, you can see Virgil’s puppet reel back a little, and it’s a testament to how good the puppeteer is because you can tell that that statement...actually hurt him a little. Sure, maybe he won’t HATE Thomas, but he does sometimes still use the scare tactics to make his point, and in some ways, Patton undermined his point by brushing off his tactics. 

Virgil and Roman having a snark off, I am living.  Roman also realizing when he’s gone too far and admitting his flaws, I am so living.

Roman: I do feel bad.  Virgil: Well then maybe you should say you’re sorry.  Roman: You’re right.  Virgil: Oh, really?  He was so surprised when Roman admitted he was right, and even though he thought that apology was for him and it turned out to be for Logan, I think it’s telling that Virgil is still sometimes surprised when Roman admits that his point was good. 

Roman apologizing is so sweet.  “I still feel bad.” Patton knowing that if he lets Roman express himself in a way he’s comfortable, ah, I just love this whole sequence. 

Roman calling Logan and the others his loved ones <3 

The look Logan gives Patton when Patton starts sing/rapping about how he used to hide his feelings:

Aaaaaaa my heart look at him. 

Patton: “Everybody gets sad, even dads who have people to care for,”  Patton cares so much for the others my heart is so full. 

Virgil participating in the song happily and voluntarily, so much growth since Christmas!!!

Virgil: “I thought that I could take it, all the hate would just be shaken, but when you lo– CARE for someone, not much hurts more than their scorn. I also felt bad.”  Roman: “Oh, come now–”  I just, love everything about this. Virgil’s lines, him almost saying love, but changing it last second, Roman literally reaching out to him, it’s just all so perfect <3. 

The music shifting into minor when Logan interrupts with his frustration, and YES, his and Thomas’s duet is fabulous. I get major Lin Manuel Miranda vibes from their section. (thank you @digitally-analog for the transcription.)  Thomas: This just serves as testament to the fact you have a temperament which is fine, you just haven’t accepted it. If you let them finish they’d get to the– Logan: This just serves as testament to the fact that to me, you’re negligent which is fine, it just works to your detriment. You not letting me finish is just proving my– 

Virgil: “HEY! ... You’re lost. It’s okay. I was lost once too,”  Virgil pulling through for them, YES, and I love how he’s able to just so clearly let the others know what they’re feeling sometimes. “You’re lost,” it reminds me of when in Patton’s room, he said “You’re afraid.” Patton may be most emotions, but those kinds of emotions are ones that Virgil is very familiar with, and ones he can spot easily in his friends, and ones he doesn’t want to see them go through the way he had to.

Virgil: No one wants to be a joke, T, R & P: but a life without jokes is incomplete! 

Roman’s bits, omg. 

Thomas: It’s alright, Princey, honestly it didn’t hurt me, it’s clear you’re the one who’s hurting.  Roman: Huh?  I just, someone take both him AND Logan to therapy, they are so emotionally unaware. 

Virgil: “You feel low.”  Coming through again with that problem identifying. 

P&V: “We embrace you,”  Roman: “That’s rich.”  Virgil (gently): “No one hates you.”  I think it’s so important that this line comes from him, because of all the sides, Roman probably feels like Virgil has the most justification to hate him, but here his is quietly reassuring him. 

Roman and Logan FINALLY talking to each other, THANK YOU 

And Logan realizing that the song was actually part of the conversation, and not random like he thought, you go you silly nerd, you’re getting it! Logic is always there, even in the methods that he doesn’t necessarily understand, and that the silliness and dramatics that Patton and Roman love can still be intelligent. 

“Why did I never question people’s belittling views on what I do?”  THERE IT IS THOMAS YOU GOT IT!

Nice DHMIS reference. 

Logan and Roman making up aaaaaah yay. Thomas and Virgil are so proud! 

Virgil telling Patton how he feels, but trying so hard to do it in a way that won’t hurt Patton’s feelings. I’m so proud of him. 

I’m so proud of ALL of them, they did so good. Thomas did good. Character Thomas and real Thomas, this video was amazing, and I loved it. That’s it for this post, but there will be more to come!  –Taylor <3

[tomjopson]

The idea of a fic director’s cut is fascinating to me and tbh if you pasted any fic of yours in a doc and wrote a commentary, I’d be delighted to read it, but for the purpose of this meme: anything you’d like to say about “hope lost on yesterdays”? 🙌✨

I all but copy-pasted the fic, condensed with added commentary below the cut!

Sorry mobile users since read mores dont work properly on the app  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

“hope lost on yesterdays” writers commentary addition  *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

//

The grind is deep enough that Edward feels the vibration inhis bones. It is a deep, guttural bellow, like that of a mammoth gate of ironand rust scraping open to reveal a deep descent into the bowels of the earth,beyond its molten crust into the unending conflagration of hell.

[Portrayals of hell in literature and media alike havealways fascinated me. Now of course, my portrayal here leans the traditionalfire/brimstone imagery, but I also like to play with the idea of a frozenwasteland, such as the Arctic itself, being indicatory of a hellish landscape.]

//

The ship groans again, as magnificently and terribly as acrack of lightning, and for a brief, heart-stopping second, Edward wonders ifthis was the final one; the wood of the ship splintering and bending to theintense pressure of the ice, crumpling inward as easily as a paper boat crushedin a child’s careless grip. [Is it a Terror fic without the ice groaning andsome metaphor about the ice crushing the ship? I think not. But I was pleasedwith the analogy of the child and paper boat which took me more time to comeup with than I like to admit because it makes the ice as careless and indifferent as a child with a plaything; it removes the malice from the force of nature.]

//

“You’d think it get easier,” Solomon’s rumbling andsleep-filled voice says, “ignoring the ice. Damn noise wakes me up every time.”[For all the people who sayI get Solomon’s voice down (which, by the way thank you ), Iliterally mutter dialogue to myself as I write it, and if I can picture DavidWalmsley saying it, I call it good.]

//

Edward hums in response, sliding deeper under the covers ofthe bunk when the man beside him turns toward him and wraps a pair of strongarms around his middle. The tip of Edward’s nose brushes against the man’sbeard, and he sniffs at the tickle.

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” Edward whispers, his eyesfluttering shut again when Solomon’s fingers start rubbing circles on his lowback. [Lots of casual intimacy in these paragraphs, constant little touches,a continual desire to be in contact; this plays off my belief that Edwardhimself is very tactile but also the intimacy that has blossomed between thesetwo and has translated to how physically comfortable they are with each other]

//

Solomon nudges a leg under him, and Edward allows him to twist them around sothat Edward lies on top [I love making characters manhandle Edward. Not surewhat that says about me…], the new position accentuating the leftover achebetween his legs. 

//

…Sergeant Tozer had crept through the vacant wardroom to Edward’scabin door, sliding it open quietly and quickly, without invitation, but asmall and warm grin on his lips that dispelled any reprimand forming onEdward’s tongue. [Part of the appeal of many, many pairings in Terror isthat they’re all forbidden, to a certain extent. There’s always thethrill of secrecy and the risk of being caught, that makes each relationshipfeel dangerous and exhilarating, portrayed differently depending on thecharacters and how he would personally react to breaking/bending rules.]  

//

…further loosened by the bottle ofmadeira that Solomon retrieved from the inner folds of his coat, lifted duringthe re-organizing of the ship’s stores as they prepared for the long walkacross the ice. [Although at this point in the show’s canon, Solomon does not like Hickey and has not flirted with the idea of mutiny yet, hehas made his feelings on authority pretty clear, so I like to think that hisway of “sticking it to the man” would manifest in things like his stealing thewine.]

//

“And who will punish me? Can’t be the first lieutenant.He’s a habit of breaking rules himself.”

“What rules would those be?”

Solomon had given him a wicked smirk as he handed him thebottle.

“I don’t think the Admiralty takes kindly to theirofficers sucking cocks, sir.”

[Another trope I like exploring in Terror fics is how themen react to homosexuality, his own personal sexual preference, the need forromantic vs platonic vs sexual love, and how that translates to hisinterpersonal relationships. Now, because I am an absolute sap, Itypically lean romance in a lot of my portrayals, but I like to think that whatdrew Solomon and Edward together in the first place was physical.]

//

They fucked in near silence, the pillow swallowing Edward’ssighs and Solomon digging his teeth into Edward’s shoulders to muffle hismoans. [The sex scene is straightforward because these two clearly know whatthey want from each other and don’t feel the need to draw it out withunnecessary pretense. Plus, at this point in their relationship, I believethey’ve fucked a few times before and have their nonverbal communication and rhythm down.]

//

Perhaps it was the acceptance that their expedition had failed, and now, theywere simply trying to escape the Arctic with as few casualties as possible. [Ireally want to highlight the last line of this paragraph because I think, in alot of ways, conceding defeat and accepting failure is one the biggestcharacter flaws of numerous Terror characters. Admitting failure is tough,sure, but the stubbornness and arrogance of this led to men’s deaths and further suffering. And of course, the failure is even worse when you add the ever-increasing number of men lost.]

//

That night was also when Sergeant Tozer—some unspeakablequality also altered in him, following Carnivale and the death of PrivateHeather—had crossed the threshold into officer country for the first time andelbowed his way into Edward’s cabin and bed. [It was important for me tomention the loss of Heather, whether as the loss of a friend to Tozer or theloss of one of his “men” so to speak. This loss was what propelledTozer forward, to pursue Little. The use of the verb elbow wasjust a further nod to how Tozer wrenched his way into Little’s life, but youknow like affectionately.]

//

“I don’t want to go,” he admits, the words falling from histongue like the last leaves clinging to a long-dead tree.

“You don’t have to. This is your cabin.”

The attempt at humor is poor, but the irritation in Edward’svoice is dulled by his exhaustion.

“The ships, Tozer. I don’t want to leave the ships.” [I love this exchange, because Edwardis broaching a very difficult topic, and Tozer just lets it slide off his backlike water, still attempting to bring lightness to the situation.]

//

Instead, Solomon’s voice is muffled by the hair on Edward’s headwhen he says, “We may die yet, and all this will finally be over.” [self-destructiveor simply realistic? This fatalism that grows in Tozer is partly what made himso susceptible to Hickey’s mutiny later.]

//

Edward sits on the edge of his bunk, and Solomon’s kneesbump into his as the man fumbles toward him in the darkness. Solomon gropes forEdward’s hand, and he unfurls each finger, tracing the lines along Edward’spalm. The longer he stands there, holding Edward’s hand, the more that Edwardfights the urge to interlace their fingers and pull Solomon back. [It was soso so important to me that it wasn’t just 1) drink 2) fuck 3) leave, so I triedto infuse as much sensual intimacy as I could into this story. The sex is aperk, sure, but what ultimately draws these two together is a deep desire for connection, understanding, and comfort. The hand holding is another exchangethat shows how they don’t want this shared moment to end, and how both of thembenefit from and desire this intimacy.]

//

“See you on the other side, sir,” he says as his goodbyebefore he slides the door open and leaves. [Significant that this is what he says vs simply a goodbye or, worse, nothing.]

//

Edward settles himself back into his bed, burying his noseinto the portion of his pillow where traces of Solomon’s scent clings. [The yearning.Still clinging to traces of Solomon, even as the man’s presence disappears fromthe room.]

//

[Final note, I wrote this in a single evening, literallyout of a desperate desire to have more Little/Tozer content. I went into itdeciding that I didn’t even care if the fic was any good or not, and, much tomy chagrin but also relief, this ended up being one of my better fics. Removingthe crippling perfectionism and expectations does writers wonders. I also very much want to write a companion piece that takes place during the first day both of them are at Terror Camp together, so fingers crossed that I write that sooner than later.]

[imagitory]

D-Views: The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Bonjour, mes amies! Welcome, bienvenue, to another installment of D-Views, my written review series for films produced or inspired by the Walt Disney company! For more reviews for films like Enchanted, Star Wars Episode III, and Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, feel free to consult my “Disney reviews” tag, and please, if you enjoy this review or any of the others, please consider liking and reblogging! I look forward to writing more of these in the future for films like Wreck-It Ralph and Halloweentown, as well as Non-Disney films like Charlotte’s Web.

I recently put out a poll suggesting three Disney Renaissance films for possible review subjects, and although The Little Mermaid won that poll, this film ended up not far behind. (Thank you, @schifty-al and @mygeekcorner for your votes!) It’s one of my personal favorite Disney films of all time...The Hunchback of Notre Dame!

Victor Hugo’s classic novel Notre Dame du Paris, called The Hunchback of Notre Dame in English, seems like a very odd inspiration for a Disney animated family film, and that’s because...yeah, it is! When the Disney animators first brought Hunchback to the table, they were less inspired by the original Hugo novel glamorizing the architecture of Notre Dame cathedral, and more inspired by a graphic novel adaptation of the story, which was likewise much more influenced by the 1939 Hollywood film adaptation. Because of the historical context that 1939 adaptation was made in (premiering at Cannes during the rise of the Third Reich), themes of social justice were added to a story that originally was about how the “edifice” can outlast the flaws and sins of mankind. The “social justice” element is something that Hugo interestingly put more in his follow-up to Notre Dame du Paris, the epic brick book Les Miserables, but has since been similarly tied in the public consciousness to The Hunchback of Notre Dame, despite not existing in the original book.

The project was already an odd choice for Disney to take on thanks to the darkness of the book, but the political themes also were unique for a Disney picture as well. It clearly was a more “adult” endeavor, even though thanks to the success of previous projects like Aladdin and The Lion King, there were studio mandates demanding more comic relief, and even the marketing team was reluctant to advertise Hunchback as anything other than a family film. Rather than showing the artistry and darker scenes, the marketing almost entirely focused on the Feast of Fools and the gargoyles, highlighting the “Ugly Duckling” aspect added to the story and downplaying the more adult themes. In the end, it’s likely thanks to those poor marketing choices and the inconsistent tone of the picture that this movie failed to find its audience on first run. It only earned $21 million worldwide, compared to Pocahontas’s $29 million and The Little Mermaid’s $84 million, with mixed critical and audience reaction. Although it was nominated for an Academy Award for its music and won several others, it was noticeably less successful than other installments in the Disney Renaissance, and even now, Disney often doesn’t give Hunchback that much attention. Like Quasimodo, the film has been sort of locked up in its own tower...but now, today, I aim to bring The Hunchback of Notre Dame out of the shadows and give it the appreciation it deserves.

Our film begins in complete darkness, accompanied by resounding church bells and the amazing vocalizations of the English Opera Company, and from the very beginning, I’m just enveloped by the embrace of Alan Menken and Stephen Schwartz’s unbelievable score. Choral music in general has always been something special in my family. My mum and dad were in choirs a lot of their lives: they even first met when they joined the San Diego Master Chorale in the 80′s. Choral music remains one of my mother’s greatest loves and passions, and when I saw Hunchback, it made the choral music my parents loved so much, which focused around a faith I hadn’t been raised with and didn’t believe in, that bit more accessible to me as a child. Mum, who studied Latin in college, went on to teach me about all of the chants and phrases Menken and Schwartz added to each song so that I could more appropriately sing along. It remains one of those Disney soundtracks that cemented our close bond, and I’ll always treasure being able to see the La Jolla Playhouse production of The Hunchback of Notre Dame with my mum and getting to hear the amazing choir and instruments live.

The Bells of Notre Dame, as an opening number, cannot be matched in how it introduces us all to the story, characters, themes, and tone of the piece. In just a few minutes, the music and lyrics perfectly showcases our setting, the theme of what makes a man, the atmosphere of fear and injustice, our villain, and our hero. Menken and Schwartz previously worked together on Pocahontas, but Hunchback in my opinion easily outstrips their previous collaboration. The use of church bells of all sizes to convey the solemnity, mystery, and grandeur of the cathedral at the center of the proceedings, and the clever use of Latin phrases -- it’s just unbelievable! As one example, in the sequence where Frollo (a judge in this version, as opposed to the Archdeacon) chases Quasimodo’s mother up to the stairs of Notre Dame and she pounds on the door, crying for help, the choir sings “Quantus tremor est futurus quando Judex est venturus,” which means, “What trembling is to be when the Judge comes.” And sure enough, the line comes to a horrible, horrified halt when Judge Frollo snatches the woman’s child away and throws her to the ground.

After one of the most epic musical introductions in a Disney film, we meet our sweet, gentle hero, Quasimodo, voiced by Tom Hulce, who is just such a ray of sunshine. Although I loved hearing Michael Arden as Quasimodo on stage, Tom Hulce will always be my Quasimodo. When I was a teenager, I went through a horrible “hating the world” phase where I only ever saw pain and suffering and felt not only powerless to make anything better, but worthless as well. During that time, I turned my back on a lot of the things that had brought me joy, feeling almost unable to enjoy them anymore. One of the very few exceptions, however, was this movie and especially the character of Quasimodo. When I was at my darkest points, Quasimodo never failed to bring me some light, not because he was particularly funny, but because for all of the misery in his circumstances, he never faltered in being gentle, creative, and kind. Looking back on how I’d been, I wish I’d had just a shred of Quasimodo’s grace back then. I wish I hadn’t allowed myself to fall into despair and resentment. Since I can’t go back, however, I keep Quasimodo in my mind sometimes whenever I’m going through something difficult. He’s kind of become a guardian angel of sorts to me, reminding me that my life is a precious gift and I shouldn’t take anything for granted. And really, I couldn’t do that if not for Tom Hulce and Quasimodo’s supervising animator, James Baxter. I truly am grateful to both of them for giving me a character that even now can be a symbol of everything I wish I could be.

Unfortunately along with Quasimodo, we also meet the gargoyles, Hugo, Victor, and Laverne. As a kid, I actually liked the gargoyles all right, but as an adult...yeah, they really break the mood. Badly. The worst offender is easily Hugo, which is a shame because I like Jason Alexander as a performer, but he just goes way too over-the-top-obnoxious. It would admittedly not be as bad if it were clear that the gargoyles were all in Quasimodo’s head, but Djali sees Hugo come to life at one point and they later help Quasimodo fight off the guards. I greatly prefer the way the gargoyles are handled in the stage production, where all of the saintly statues have their own voices that nonetheless reflect what Quasimodo is thinking and when Quasimodo hits his lowest point before Esmeralda’s execution, he forcefully banishes them out of his head.

Even though the comic relief is handled poorly, I certainly cannot say the same for the villain. Judge Claude Frollo is easily one of the most evil villains in Disney history. Tony Jay’s vocal performance is just chillingly resonant, commanding your attention and making you subconsciously shrink in on yourself whenever he speaks. It makes for a despicable, cold, cruel man -- the antithesis of a father, the true embodiment of a monster. Frollo is often compared to Mother Gothel from Tangled in how they both lie to, control, and emotionally abuse their charges (Quasimodo and Rapunzel, respectively), but I personally find Frollo so much worse than Gothel, because he not only cuts Quasimodo off from everyone, but he indoctrinates a gentle, kind soul like Quasimodo in his racism and intolerance against those different from him -- including Quasimodo’s own people, the Romani. Mother Gothel hoards Rapunzel away like a dragon hoarding treasure -- Frollo treats Quasimodo like a burden, beating into him that no one else would want him and that Frollo was such a “good man” to take him in. It’s just vile.

And now we come to my single favorite Disney song of all time -- Quasimodo’s aria, Out There. From the time I was little, this song spoke to me like few others did. Growing up, I was an only child with a huge imagination surrounded almost entirely by adults and who had a lot of difficulty relating to kids my age. I often liked being on my own, but it didn’t change how I often felt different and detached from the people around me, and as I got older, that feeling only increased. I moved a lot in my childhood, making it difficult for me to plant roots, and I rarely followed trends or popular norms, so I constantly stayed in the fringes of the crowd, enviously looking on at those who could fit in more easily than I could. I always tried to hide my insecurities, but they were still there, and when those insecurities took hold, I would often imagine the world being a place where I could be myself, just like Quasi does. Quasimodo’s longing to be “part of them” and lamentation of people being “heedless of the gift it is to be them” has always resonated with me, and even though it’s hard for me to sing Out There without shifting octaves, my heart swells every time I hear it.

The Captain of the Guard, Phoebus, is easily the biggest liberty that Hunchback adaptations have made with the original novel. The book version of Phoebus was more like Gaston from Beauty and the Beast than how he’s portrayed here, but I frankly have no complaints. Kevin Kline is wonderfully dry and witty in the role -- he’s more than a match for Esmeralda, being brave, noble, and sarcastic with seemingly no prejudice for those different from him. And then yeah, as for Esmeralda herself...as Phoebus says later, “what a woman!” Esmeralda was one of my very favorite Disney heroines as a kid, and she still is. The character of Esmeralda is often rather saint-like in her incarnations, but here we see both the “angelic” and “demonic” sides of her -- she’s fiery, but kind; rebellious, yet noble; anti-authority, but patient; distrustful, yet loyal. In the musical adaptation, when Esmeralda is first revealed, we hear Frollo, Phoebus, and Quasimodo sing this about her --

Frollo: She dances like the Devil!

Phoebus: She dances like an angel --

Quasimodo: An angel!

Phoebus: -- but with such fire!

Frollo: Such fire!

All Three: Who is she?

This is Esmeralda’s characterization and her relationship to the three male main characters in a nutshell. Quasimodo only sees the best of Esmeralda; Frollo only sees the worst of her; and Phoebus sees her for everything she is...as a person. And this is why she ultimately chooses Phoebus, unlike in the book where she solely chooses Phoebus because of his looks.

When we reach the Palace of Justice, I’m reminded that I have yet to accent how absolutely stunning every single background is in this movie. Yes, the animation overall is wonderful, whether in the character animation or otherwise, but there are few Disney films that have more atmospheric and beautiful backgrounds than this. It serves to give the movie such a wonderful depth and makes the setting feel that much richer and deeper. Admittedly one weaker aspect of the animation is the now-slightly-outdated CG background characters. They were made by taking a handful of templates and then mixing up their clothes and colors, so as to multiply them ad infinitum and make the crowds of Paris look bigger and more colorful. Even with that, though, you do sort of have to look carefully at the background crowds to notice, as there are lots of hand-drawn characters sprinkled in in front of those CG models that help obscure their repetition and awkwardness. Those CG crowds also make the city of Paris look appropriately overcrowded and huge, so I’m glad that they used the technology even if it was still so in-progress at the time.

Even though Topsy Turvy starts off so fun and festive, however, it soon devolves into a terrible riot where Quasimodo is bound and tormented by the crowd. I admit, the transition is a little abrupt, but it still works for me, as people can be so easily swept away by mob mentality and those in power -- namely, Frollo’s guards -- sometimes flaunt their authority by putting down others. Fortunately Esmeralda is there to save Quasimodo and give Frollo a much-deserved verbal smackdown. The following scene, though, is another example of the mismatched tone, stretching out Esmeralda’s escape with a lot of comic “hijinks” that don’t really add anything to the film and kind of serve as a big time waster, especially after it abruptly cuts off and turns much more solemn and sad as Frollo silently confronts Quasimodo and Quasi returns to Notre Dame in shame.

Hunchback’s focus on religion is, in my opinion, one of the things that made producing an adaptation of Hugo’s novel such a bold decision. I’m not a religious person at all (Agnostic and proud), but it was still really meaningful to me to see both the good and bad associated with religion, represented by the Archdeacon and Frollo respectively. Frollo, along with Pharaoh Seti from The Prince of Egypt, taught me as a kid that evil is not always self-aware and, more importantly, how much more dangerous evil is when it garbs itself in godliness and righteousness. That’s a valuable lesson, regardless of your religious faith. God Help the Outcasts may invoke God’s name, but it could just as easily be a prayer to the world, or even just to you as an individual. The Christian faith preaches that we are made in God’s image...so when Esmeralda asks God to help her people, maybe she’s in truth asking you to try to be the loving God they need.

Something unique about Hunchback is the wonderful friendship that develops between Esmeralda and Quasimodo. From the time I was very little, I made friends with both boys and girls, so it was so wonderfully refreshing to see a story where a girl and a boy became such close friends and supported each other so much. Yes, admittedly, Quasimodo is romantically interested in Esmeralda, but when he sees how much she loves Phoebus, he both accepts their relationship and treasures Esmeralda’s friendship all the same. He doesn’t wallow in bitterness upon Esmeralda not choosing him; he loves her all the same as the first real friend he’s ever had. Esmeralda truly loves Quasimodo and treasures their friendship too -- her choosing Phoebus romantically is never framed as her teasing Quasimodo or leading him on; she simply loves Phoebus and Quasimodo in different ways. And that I find so unbelievably cool. I also like that in Esmeralda’s and Quasimodo’s conversation on the roof, there are some strains of the deleted song Someday in the instrumental accompanying the scene -- you can hear a R&B variation of Someday in the film’s credits, but originally it was meant to replace the more religious God Help the Outcasts, only for God Help the Outcasts to be chosen over it. I agree with the filmmakers’ decision, but I still like Someday too. Quasimodo’s helping Esmeralda and Djali escape Notre Dame by climbing down the towers also beautifully foreshadows Quasimodo’s dexterity in climbing down to save Esmeralda at the end of the film.

Quasimodo and Frollo are both enthralled with Esmeralda, but as mentioned previously, they each only see the angelic and demonic sides of her, which is best encapsulated by the dual numbers Heaven’s Light and Hellfire. Heaven’s Light is appropriately sweet and pure, but I can’t beat around the bush here: Hellfire steals the show, not just from Heaven’s Light but from all other villain songs in Disney history. The song starts with a choral chant praying for forgiveness, which then segways into Frollo’s demented, mad raving about his lust, fear, and hatred for Esmeralda. The words are almost terrifying in their level of conviction and paranoia, which then devolves into vindictive, destructive mania, framed by the mournful echoes for “mercy” from the choir.

Right after Hellfire, we get one of my favorite instrumentals on the soundtrack called Paris Burning. The choir’s bustling, dramatic cries trimmed by the tense strings and horns of the orchestra just evokes fear and horror as Frollo terrorizes Paris. Then Phoebus finally takes a stand, refusing to set fire to the miller’s house and then, after Frollo does it himself, leaping in to save the family from the flames. In the musical, this whole sequence is accompanied by the amazing musical number Esmeralda (which honestly, every fan of this movie should listen to, it’s really worth it), but the film handles it unbelievably well with only a short scene and an instrumental that sears the final “Kyrie Eleison” into the audience’s ears like a fire brand.

Sadly, after this amazing, epic sequence, we once again are subjected to tonal whiplash when we return to the bell tower and the gargoyles decide to sing Quasimodo a song to cheer him up. Although I maintain Hunchback has one of the best soundtracks ever recorded, what stops it from being flawless is this song. A Guy Like You is not an inherently bad song on its own, but when combined with the rest of the soundtrack, its melody, tone, and out-of-place pop cultural references are just ridiculously jarring. It’s like we’ve been transported into a completely different movie, one less inspired by a classic French novel and a critically acclaimed film about social justice and one more inspired by Disney hits of the day like Aladdin and later projects like Hercules. As sad as it is, it’s kind of a relief when it’s over and we’re brought back down to earth by Esmeralda carrying a close-to-death Phoebus into Quasimodo’s tower.

Frollo’s arrival after Quasimodo agrees to hide Phoebus is excellent in its suspense. We can sense Frollo’s suspicion, and all the while, we’re so worried for Phoebus hiding under the very table he and Quasimodo are sitting at. Then Frollo, who we’ve only ever seen as cold, conniving, and controlled, bursts into a rage the kind of which we’ve never seen before, and for a second, he’s a demon himself. After his rage is spent, he sets his cruelest, most terrible trap yet: using Quasimodo’s feelings for Esmeralda so that he can capture her and the rest of the Romani. And at first, Quasimodo almost doesn’t take the bait, thanks to a short-lived pang of self-pity. At first he’s bitter about his heart being broken and considers not helping Esmeralda, as there’d seemingly be no “reward” in him doing so...but the feeling is quelled in seconds by the memory of Esmeralda and how much her friendship means to him. Quasimodo’s selflessness and goodness wins out in its struggle with his more selfish instincts...and this, in the end, is what makes Quasimodo a hero in my eyes.

All right, I guess with our entrance into the Court of Miracles, I should address the elephant in the room. I’ve called Esmeralda’s people “the Romani” in this review, but throughout the entire film, the term is substituted for the admittedly-period-appropriate slur “Gypsy.” I knew nothing about the Romani culture when I first saw this film and I profess no intimate knowledge of it now, but even with that, I have to acknowledge that this movie doesn’t always showcase the Romani in the best light. Although Quasimodo’s parents, Esmeralda, and (to a degree) Clopin are given relative sympathy, the sequence in the Court of Miracles doesn’t do much to endear them to the audience. These victims of persecution are not really given the focus they deserve: we never learn much about their culture or about why they’re persecuted, and we don’t really get to see how they live their lives as ordinary people. To someone who doesn’t know anything about the Romani, I don’t think this film would be the best introduction to their culture and heritage.

Our climax is accompanied by the best instrumental track in the film, Sanctuary! Whenever I hear this piece, I have to stay completely silent, drinking in every single line and note, so as to properly absorb its brilliance. The track has accompanied a lot of my writing in the past: it’s always helped me when I was writing a powerful, emotional climax, whether through the emotion it wrought from me or just from wanting to write a new scene to the music. This entire sequence, from a musical, writing, animation, and character point of view, is I think what made Disney decide to make this film in the first place. The pacing -- the character animation of Quasimodo tearing down the pillars -- the drawn backgrounds of Notre Dame -- the camera whirling over the never-ending crowd’s heads and up onto the cathedral as Quasimodo hoists Esmeralda over his head -- this is the heart of why the movie was made and what the entire film was building up to. This resistance against injustice and the protection of our sacred, historical institutions from hatred and cruelty is what Hunchback is and should be all about. Occasionally this battle scene is inter-spliced with comic bits that once again aren’t really necessary and kind of stick out (Laverne’s Wizard of Oz reference and Hugo’s impression of a fighter plane in particular are out of place), but it doesn’t ruin anything for me. Fortunately as the climax grows darker with the arrival of Frollo and the transition from Sanctuary! into And He Shall Smite the Wicked, the gargoyles take a backseat, and we get focus where we should’ve always had it: on Quasimodo, Esmeralda, and Frollo. Thanks to his love for his friend Esmeralda and the realization of his own self-worth, Quasimodo finally stands up to Frollo and breaks free of his poisonous influence once and for all. This line of Quasi’s has always stuck with me --

“All my life you’ve taught me the world is a dark, cruel place...but now I see the only thing dark and cruel about it is people like you!”

Even now this line is just so powerful. There was a point where all I saw of the world was its cruelties and injustices...but like Quasimodo, I’ve come to see that those cruelties are not inherent to the world or even to mankind as a whole. Humans are capable of both great evil and great good, but as long as the evil people of the world are allowed to seize control and exert their toxic influence over everyone else, the world and mankind overall will never become better. Like Quasimodo, we must stand against those who’ve embraced cruelty and hatred over acceptance and love. We must protect the brighter parts of the world that evil so wishes to snuff out. It’s a moral I think has only become more relevant and important over time.

Unlike in the book and musical, Esmeralda survives, and as much as I’ve heard people try to argue Esmeralda living is not true to the spirit of the original novel, I think it really suits the story being told and really feels just for both characters. Quasimodo deserved happiness; Esmeralda deserved happiness; and most importantly, this all the more highlights how different Quasimodo is from Frollo. Frollo says to Esmeralda, “Choose me or the fire” -- basically, if he can’t have her, he doesn’t want anyone else to...but Quasimodo doesn’t think that way. He cherishes Esmeralda and her friendship without any caveats or conditions: therefore him losing Esmeralda, whether to Phoebus or to death, doesn’t prompt him to commit suicide like he did in the novel. It’s not only a more uplifting ending, but I think a lesson in the selflessness of love, even if it’s just platonic love. And because Esmeralda loves Quasimodo just as much as a friend, she leads him out into the sun, where he finds even more of the love he deserves from the city he wished so much to belong in. Quasimodo doesn’t get the girl, but that was never what he wanted in the first place: it was merely to be accepted as he was.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame was one of the most formative films of my childhood, right up there with Beauty and the Beast, The Prince of Egypt, and Anastasia, and it remains my second favorite Disney animated film of all time. With time, I’ve seen more and more of its flaws, but those flaws don’t ruin what in the end is one of the most daring, revolutionary projects Disney Animation has ever tackled. Its artistry, from the backgrounds to the character animation, is exceptional; all of its major human characters are multi-faceted, complex, and real; its themes are eternally relevant and powerful; and its score and nearly all of its songs are just through the stratosphere in their quality. Hunchback, along with Beauty and the Beast, made me fall in love with France from afar as a child, a love affair that has only become more and more intense through the years, and Quasimodo and Esmeralda even now are so close to my heart. I wish so much to be as kind and gentle as Quasimodo and as brave and noble as Esmeralda, and I can only hope that at some point, if I ever visit Disneyland Paris, I might finally meet them. The Hunchback of Notre Dame may not have gotten the appreciation it deserved when it first came to theaters, but I’ll always be happy to hear Disney fans remembering it as fondly as I do. Who knows? Maybe someday, the world will be wiser and will give this film its time in the sun at long last.

[writeseoul]

not what you want - one

➵ frat!au, college!au

pairing: jungkook | male!reader

genre: fluff with a little bit of angst (but honestly i’m not sure myself) and some crossdressing

word count: 4.6k words

a/n: another one? hope you enjoy it guys!

summary: that one time you got your crush’s attention by dressing up as a girl.

You didn’t know what was more uncomfortable, the wig that was scratching the hell out out of your scalp or the heaviness you felt from the amount of make up your friend had just applied on you. You were amazed at how much make up one could apply on one’s face and also at the intricateness of it.

What was worse than the make up was the fact that you were only half way done with the preparations. And the longer it took for all of you to get ready the more you questioned yourself as to why you even thought this was a good idea in the first place.

Okay, attending the biggest party of the year was, maybe, an ‘okay’ reason and yeah, your crush was also going to be there, heck he was even one of the main organisers, but the more you thought about it, the more you felt that it was not worth the hassle and the discomfort.

« Did you really have to put on so much make up on? » you asked Mia, your best friend, as you inspected your now full beaten face in the mirror. You barely recognised yourself, it was as if every male features you had were hidden and redefined to make you look more feminine.

« Oh come on, I barely put anything on your face, » she retorded, rolling her eyes.

She was speaking the truth— though you begged to differ. She only used concealer to highlight and contour your face because you had pretty much flawless skin—thanks to your daily skin care routine. Your eyes were the thing she put the most effort in. The different accents of pastel oranges and pastel pinks gave them this summer peachy vibe. Your lips were coated in a neutral colour as to make your eyes more prominent.

You loved the make up, it only felt weird seeing it on your own face.

« You’re done? » Shay, your other best friend, screamed from Mia’s closet, « I wanna see! »

« You look stunning! » she exclaimed as she examined your face, « Damn Mia, you sure work wonders! »

Mia thanked her with a wink and went back to doing her own make up. After a while she asked Shay, « Did you find anything yet? For his outfit? »

« It’s been picked, » she declared, clearly excited, « all we have to do is make him wear it »

« Oh, this is going to be bad, » you mumbled to yourself. « Tell me why I’m doing this again? » you asked Mia.

« Well, only to go to the best party ever! » Shay was the one who answered from the closet. She was the party animal of the group. Though you were successful into avoiding most parties she wanted to go, tonight was something else. She was adamant that you went with them and once her mind was set there was changing it.

« Feeling like this isn’t a good enough reason now, » you declared sighing.

« It was either you went in as a girl or you pay the 25$ fee, » Shay retorted to which you had nothing to say against.

The party you were going to was organised by one of the most popular fraternity house of your campus. They called themselves Bangtan and almost everyone on campus knew them, they were extremely popular. Each year they would get at least hundreds upon hundreds of applications to get in. Only a few luck though got accepted.

As for their parties, they were said to be legendaries, that when Bangtan throws a party it was the place to be. The only problem was that the 7 presidents of the fraternity are conceited fuck boys whose heads are so far up their asses they believed getting into their parties is a privilege.

Which resulted in them making some stupid rules about who gets to enter or not in their parties. It simply goes like this: to have a free pass you have to either be an official member of the fraternity, have a friend who can get you in for free or be a girl. If you do not meet at least one of these criteria you are not allowed to get in unless you pay 25$.

« Ugh, straight men, » you rolled your eyes. « Could’t you have just asked Taehyung to let me in Mia? It’s not like he didn’t have the power to, » you pouted.

Taehyung is one of the presidents of the fraternity. He along with his friends were the one who made the stupid rule and it was coincidental that your best friend Mia and him were dating. They were together even before college and you actually quite liked the guy, he wasn’t that bad and he was loyal to your friend despite his obnoxious reputation.

He was overall a good guy and you were glad Mia found herself someone like him. The only flaw you found was the crowd he hung out with. You just couldn’t with them, besides maybe one.

« I tried, » Mia explained, « But he said that rules were rules and he couldn’t just let you walk in just because you were my friend. Sorry, J. »

Before you could complain again, clothes were thrown at your face.

« Stop talking and get dressed, » Shay, the culprit, urged you, « We have a party to get to! »

You sighed defeated. You were ready to declare that you were not going but you were already in too deep to back out now. And frankly, you needed to let loose, school had been killing you. Tonight might be only time you would get to relax and enjoy your college life. So you decided to just get on with it.

How bad could things go?

« Okay, okay, » you mumbled as you made your way to the adjoined bathroom and locked the door behind your back. 

Before you went on and got dressed you decided to rummage through the pile of clothes Shay had prepared for you. The first thing that got your attention was the bright orange cropped hoodie. It looked so comfortable, and you were thankful for Shay to have chosen that. Next were the pants, they were basic boyfriend jeans.

You were horrified at the next articles of clothing you found. You picked up the bra and panties. « What the heck is this Shay? » you yelled from the bathroom.

You heard both Mia’s and Shay’s laughs before the latter answered, « Well, the bra is self explanatory and the panties are quite special! It’s supposed to help in hiding your junk! I bought it specially for tonight! »

« No way in hell, I’m wearing these panties nor the bra! » You refused.

« Stop whining and just put the thing on! It is not going to kill you, I swear! » And you heard laughing again.

You had no idea what to do now, it’s not like you could change their minds. You had no say in this whatsoever. Those girls were going to be the death of you.

Once you were done dressing up, you looked at yourself in the mirror of the bathroom. The reflection that greeted you, surprised you. You didn’t look all that bad, you even found yourself quite cute. The outfit Shay chose complimented your figure and the jeans made your butt stick out a lot. The hoodie hid well the fact that you had no boobs and you didn’t mind the fact that it showed your midriff, thankfully your jeans were high waisted so not much was shown. The colour of the hoodie complemented your eye make-up which was a plus.

You really looked like a girl there was no denying it. And it freaked you out more than it should.

You took a deep breath before going out of the bathroom, suddenly very shy to reveal yourself. Once out, the chatter from your two best friends stopped as they looked at you, wide eyed and mouth opened in shock.

« Oh. My. God. » they said accentuating each word. The stares were beginning to make you feel uncomfortable, embarrassment following soon after.

« What? » you mumbled, « Does it not look good? »

« Are you kidding me? » Shay exclaimed, regaining her senses, « You look UH-MA-ZING! » she exclaimed.

« She’s right, » Mia added, « you look downright gorgeous. You’re gonna make some heads turn tonight! »

« Stop it! » you said scratching the back of your neck in embarrassment, cheeks tinted red.

« Everything is ready now! Time to parta-ay! » Shay dragged the last word as she pulled both you and Mia out of the room.

« Damn, that’s a lot of cars, » was the first thing you said as you pulled up on the driveway of the Bangtan’s frat house. Cars filled the whole driveway and there was no way you would find any place to park your car.

« There’s no way in hell I’m going to find a place to park here, » you voiced out your thought, « I’ll have to park the car on the next block. »

« Well good luck with that! » Shay exclaimed as both her and Mia got out of the car.

You looked at them in surprise and rolled down your car window. They were already on their way to the house, « What the heck! What is that supposed to mean? » you called from the window. The two looked back at you, Mia winking at you as she went inside first.

« Go ahead and find a place to park! We’ll head in first, come find us when you’re done » Shay called as she too went inside, leaving you in your car alone, dumbfounded.

After a good five minutes of going around the block, you finally found a good place to park and thankfully it was not that far from the house. You got out of the car with only your phone in hand.

You texted Mia and Shay that you finally found a place to park and that you were en route to the house. You also asked for either one of the girls to fetch you at the front door because you knew nobody that was going to the party.

And the idea of entering the party alone made you anxious. None answered and before you knew it you were already standing few meters away from the front door.

From where you stood you could see a big burly man standing in front of the door. You assumed him to be the bouncer. He looked intimidating, standing tall and proud in front of the door. You suddenly got nervous. You suddenly were afraid to be found out. That with just one look at you the bouncer will know that you were not a girl and would kick you out of the party.

You shook your head and swallowed hard before slowly walking towards the door. As you came into view you the bouncer locked eyes on your frame and didn’t lose it. Your nervousness picked up at his heavy gaze on you. You tried not to acknowledge him as you tried to go through the front door.

But before you could step foot inside, the deep voice from the bouncer made you stop in your tracks. « And where do you think your going? »

Your heart started to beat faster at his question. He knows, was the first thing that came to your mind. You couldn’t find the words to answer his question. You were too nervous and too scared to even think of forming a sentence.

He suddenly started to laugh at your expression— which surprised you and made you look like a deer caught in headlights. You stood frozen at his sudden change of attitude.

« Chill out gorgeous, I was just messing with you, » he said between laughs, « You can go inside » he winked.

Relief flooded you as you slowly nodded. Before he could say anything else you went inside and sighed in relief. You were so going to make Mia and Shay regret for leaving you alone to face that.

Music blared through the walls of the house as you dove deeper into the house. You looked around trying to find where your friends had run off to. You reached the living room where the makeshift dance floor was situated. Around you people were either talking or dancing with each other, but still no signs of your best friends. You hesitated whether or not to go check in the rooms upstairs but quickly decided against it, afraid of what you might witness.

Instead, you made your way to the kitchen where you hoped you’d not only find your friends but also a glass of beer. This search was beginning to bore you and you just wanted to get the party started with a good drink.

Like you anticipated you didn’t find your friend in the kitchen but you did help yourself to two shots of what seemed to be vodka and a glass of beer afterwards. Sipping the drink you decided to take a break from your search and instead decided to text them of your whereabouts. At least if they ever wanted to search for you they knew where to find you.

« Alone, gorgeous? » A deep voice asked from beside you. You jumped a bit from the sudden noise, putting a strand of hair beside your ear as you looked up at the one who had started a conversation with you.

Your eyes widened as you saw the Jeon Jungkook standing right beside you, leaning against the counter, a drink of his own in his hands. HIs lips were curled up into a half smirk as he patiently waited for your answer.

« Oh, uh, no, not exactly, » you stuttered, not forgetting to talk a pitch higher than your usual voice. You were still dressed as a girl, for god’s sake. « Got here with some friends, just lost them. »

Of course the only time your crush was ever going to talk to you was when you were dressed as a girl. You had no idea why he had come to you in the first place. You did, however, caught on to the fact that he was blatantly flirting with you.

« Mind if I keep you company then? » he asked or more like stated, because you knew you had no say in the matter. He slid a bit closer to you but still minding your bubble, as to gauge your reaction. He did not want to make you leave. Too caught up in how close he was getting you forgot to answer the question and he took your silence as a yes.

You are not one to receive advances so frequently, meaning you were not accustomed to the art of flirting. You were aware of it but you had no idea how to respond to it, besides the natural reflexes of your body. Which equals to being a blushing mess.

« You aren’t from around here, are you? » he asked making small talk. He crossed his arms as he turned to face you giving you a full view of his toned muscles flexing. He smirked as he saw you blatantly staring and you flushed a shade darker.

« Wh-what makes you think that? », you answered with a question of your own. You were made more self aware of yourself as he looked you up and down, examining you only to focus his gaze back on your eyes.

From the moment you entered the house, you got his attention. From where he stood, moments prior, you looked beautiful but now that he could actually see you up close, you were better than he expected. You were down right gorgeous.

It was rare to find someone as gorgeous as you in his parties, he was going to male sure not to let this chance pass. He wanted you.

« I came to visit my cousin, » you answered, « Decided to have some fun while I’m here, so here I am, » you answered his question finally. You were quite surprised at how easily you made up the lie and at how you ended not stuttering. You could feel the two shots slowly effecting you, making you more comfortable.

« Are you having fun, then? » he asked you taking a sip from his cup.

You took your time examining him, as if it was your first time doing so. Trying to remember every little detail of him. Seeing him up close, he looked more handsome, he stood at least a head taller than you and when you looked back into his eyes, you found yourself lost in their beauty. 

« If your idea of fun is getting ditched by your friends in a party where you know no one beside them, then hell yeah I am, » you joked. Earning a small chuckle from him.

« Tonight is your lucky night then! » he exclaimed smiling, « I’ll show you how fun my parties can get! » you raised an eyebrow at his statement but didn’t think much of it. You wanted to see where this was going to lead to.

« How about we dance? » Jungkook suggested after a moment of comfortable silence. You immediately nodded. 

Out of nowhere, Jungkook took your hands in his and led you to the dance floor. Your drinks long forgotten on the kitchen counter. 

You looked at the way his hands cupped yours. They looked so much bigger compared to yours and you couldn’t but feel like they fit perfectly with yours. Little did you know that you weren’t the only who thought that.

Your heart skipped a beat.

You guys made your way to the centre of the living room and almost immediately your favourite song came on.Hearing suddenly got you excited. It was one of your favourite song to dance to. Every time it came on you had to dance.

You took Jungkook by surprise by your sudden moves. You were in no way a professional dancer but you knew your way around. You moved your hips to the beat of the music, it had this sensual vibe which you portrayed perfectly with your body.

After a moment of admiring you, he danced too. He followed your lead and slowly but surely made his way to you. He casually put his hands on your hips, bringing the both you closer to each other, body moving in sync against each other. 

You were too absorbed into the dance to register the sudden closeness Jungkook had brought between the two of you.

The both of you got lost into the rhythm, not even realising that the both of you were practically grinding against each other.

More songs came after that, you guys didn’t loose the proximity and you didn’t let go of each other either. Though through the many changes in songs you both adjusted your style of dancing though you still found yourself holding one another. 

Whether it was by your hands being wrapped around his neck or his around your waist or even by just holding hands. You did not let go of each other.

After the fifth song, you were beginning to get tired and thirsty. So you proposed to Jungkook to go back to the kitchen so you could get something to drink. He nodded and your hand found themselves entangled in his again.

It didn’t bother you much this time, already getting used to the feeling.

« You sure know how to dance, » Jungkook remarked as he handed you the drink he had poured for the both of you.

You blushed at his statement and retorted, « You aren’t that bad yourself. »

He chuckled at that, the both of you taking a sip of your drinks. To make the both of yourself comfortable you decided to sit on the kitchen island.

A moment of comfortable silence fell upon you two but it didn’t last long due Jungkook’s sudden question. From there the conversation kept going.

It started with the basics: what you studied and why. You then, talked about your hometowns and families, about your likes and dislikes, your dreams and even got to the point were you talked about your past relationships.

It felt so easy to talk to Jungkook. Despite popular beliefs he wasn’t the jerk people made him to be. He was down to earth person and really funny, you were glad you got to know more about him, on a personal level. 

You didn’t feel the minutes passing by as you talked to each other about almost everything.

As time went on, you both got more and more comfortable with each other. He would flirt with you during the conversation and you replied to his advances. 

Unnoticed by the both of you, you got so close to each other that your legs were caressing each other and as you laughed at one of his joke, you had to put a hand on his thigh for support.

You wiped the tears in your eyes as your laughter died down. Your hands still on his thigh, suddenly aware of your closeness, you gazed into each other’s eyes. Unsaid feelings flowing through both your orbs.

You got lost into his eyes—again and so did he. Like magnets the both of you began to lean in. You knew exactly what was coming and all rational thought left you as you lost yourself in the moment. You did not know what had gotten into you, it was like being dressed as a girl gave you more courage to do things you wouldn’t usually do.

When you could feel Jungkook’s breath on your face, you snapped out of your trance.

Your mind had finally registered what was happening. Everything you forgot that moment came back. 

The reality of your situation hit you like a truck. You weren’t who you appeared to be. No matter how girl-like you looked right now at the end of the day you were still old plain Y/N; a boy who had a crush on a straight guy. Someone who was out totally out of your league.

Whatever he saw in you, it was not real.

As much as you didn’t want to, you had to put a stop to this.

It was fun while it lasted but kissing him would be crossing the line. And you were just afraid to cross it.

Out of nowhere you turned your head to the side and got down the kitchen island.

Jungkook was surprised by your reaction. Up until now everything seemed to be going smoothly and he came to enjoy your company. He didn’t even care about getting into your pants, which was his main goal at first, all he wanted to do now was get to discover more of you but on a personal level.

« Is everything okay? » he asked you genuinely concerned. « Did I do something wrong? »

« N-no, » you stuttered, « I-It’s just that it’s beginning to get late and I should go home. »

You knew it was a lousy excuse but you were desperate to leave. You were afraid that if you stayed longer things would go out of hand. You were enjoying his company way too much. You could feel yourself slowly falling for the guy.

Believing that you had no chance with the guy, you had to pull out before you got yourself hurt or worse, him. 

Nothing was real, you thought to yourself.

« I’ll go and find my friends, you have nice night, » you told him and satrted to walk out. 

Jungkook didn’t want you to leave like that though. He didn’t know what had gotten into you and he couldn’t care less. He wasn’t going to let you slip throigh his fingers. He let his feelings take over his body.

Before you could walk out of the kitchen, Jungkook took your wrists and tugged you back to him. You lost your balance by the sudden pull but Jungkook was there to hold you in place. His hands wrapped around your waist while yours rested on his hard chest, you looked at him eyes wide in surprise.

« Wh-what- »

« You even fit perfectly into my arms, » he cut you off, murmuring to himself.

By now, your heart was beating erratically, face red as a tomato.

« I-I really have to go, » you told him trying your hardest to break free from his hold, to no avail. He was too strong for you.

« I hear you, » he said looking you in the eyes, looking at your face once again, memorising every features. « But I just can’t let you leave, at least not before doing this. »

He moved his left hand that rested on your waist to your cheeks and before you could even register, he kissed you. His lips found themselves planted on your in a soft kiss. The way his lips moved made you melt and before you knew it you kissed back.

In that moment only the two of you mattered, everything around you disappeared. You were lost in the passion. The kiss was soft but passionate, his tongue grazed your bottom lip and it made you moan which gave Jungkook the opportunity to deepen the kiss.

He hold you closer, both his hands found their way back to your waist whilst yours wrapped around his neck. The both of you smiled into the kiss before pulling out, panting. You gazed each other in a daze.

The kiss was perfect.

It had been a long time since a kiss left Jungkook this breathless, since he felt such passion. The kiss was everything he had expected and even more.

Wanting more he leaned down but you stopped him, a finger on his lips.

« W-we can’t, » you told him eyes looking down dejectedly.

« What’s wrong, babe? » he asked confused while lifting your chin with his forefinger.

« I-I have to go, » you whispered. You wanted so badly to stay in his arms, to feel more of him, to kiss him. But you couldn’t because as much as you wanted this to be true, it just wasn’t. 

You were deceiving him and you felt bad for it.

If he knew the truth, you knew he wouldn’t take it well. He would never forgive you for deceiving him. You couldn’t bare the thought of hurting him which is why you needed to make your exit, now.

« Why? » he asked you, resting his forehead on yours looking at you with concern trying to figure what was actually going on with you. He knew you felt the same way he did, from when your conversation to your kiss, he knew. And he didn’t understand why you would want to walk out.

« As much as I want this, » you explained softly, « I’m not what you want, Jungkook »

He didn’t understand what you were saying. He was never so sure about someone before until now. Even though you both had only met today from the little amount of time you spent together it was like you had known each other for years. The attraction he had felt at first was slowly developing into something more and he didn’t want this to go.

And he knew that the moment that you leave the part, he might never get a chance to see you again.

« Believe me on, this, » Jungkook assured you, « You are everything that I want and even more. » He confessed.

Your heart skipped a beat but you knew better than to give in.

Your mind was made up, so with a last look at him, you broke free from his hold and made your way out of the kitchen.

« Sorry, » was the last hing you told him as you made your way out.

« Wait! » he called after you and you stopped in your tracks, you didn’t dare look back, « I never got your name. »

« J » you told him in a heart beat, loud enough for him to hear. You didn’t reveal your true name, giving him your nickname instead. You thought it was safer that way.

[the-desolated-quill]

Listen - Doctor Who blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

Something I’ve been crying out for as we’ve been going through these episodes is something new. Something different. Something that isn’t just the bog standard, monster of the week format that has become boringly commonplace in New Who. Listen provides just that.

Compared to previous episodes, Listen is much more slower paced, atmospheric and contemplative, which makes a nice change of pace. I also like that the Doctor isn’t just randomly landing somewhere and happening upon an evil plot to take over the world this time. Instead we get to explore the more methodical and science-y side to the Doctor’s thought process. He’s developed a theory about creatures that have evolved to be perfect at hiding, and is travelling to different times and places to test that theory. There are really so many different kinds of stories you could tell in a setting as flexible as Doctor Who’s, and Listen proves that in spades.

It seems Moffat is going back to basics with this episode. No complicated plots or wibbly wobbly, timey wimey bollocks. Just a nice, simple story like Blink that draws tension and fear from everyday things. Blink had statues. Listen has the unknown. It plays on the childlike fear of a monster under the bed or hiding from view waiting to get you, and on a first viewing it’s really effective. By far the best scene in the episode is in the children’s home with Rupert Pink and the ‘monster’ on the bed hiding under the blanket. It’s been a very long time since I’ve been properly scared by Doctor Who, but this absolutely terrified me. When I first watched it in 2014, I was cowering behind a cushion, and I think the reason it works is because of the subtlety that’s involved. It’s not in your face like other Who monsters have been. Its fear factor comes from what you imagine is going to happen rather than what is actually happening. The scene at the end of the universe is very effective too because of this reason. Using nothing but some creaking pipes, Moffat is able to create something intensely frightening by letting our imaginations do the rest. Who are these creatures? What do they want? What do they even look like?

And a big, shiny gold star has to go to Peter Capaldi, who after the disaster that was Robot Of Sherwood has been given darker material to work with again, and he knocks it out of the park. I loved his scene with Rupert and his speech about how fear is like a superpower, and what I find very interesting is how this Doctor isn’t very reassuring. We’ve had moments where Matt Smith and Christopher Eccleston’s Doctors were very blunt about the level of danger, but Capaldi is not only blunt about it, he actually adds to the tension and makes these scenes even scarier. He’s not there to protect you anymore and that’s something I’m really not used to seeing, but I like it.

Listen is a very different episode. One that’s refreshingly subtle and smaller in scope and scale, thus giving it a greater impact. But different doesn’t necessarily equal good, and sadly Listen doesn’t work on a number of levels.

Like I said, the episode is really scary on a first viewing. In fact I’d go as far to say it’s just as scary as Blink. But the thing is Blink still holds up on multiple viewings and the Weeping Angels are still just as scary the first time around (obviously we’re not including the sequels here where Moffat started to bastardise his own creations). In Listen on the other hand, once you’ve seen all the twists and turns and had a peek behind the curtain as it were, it loses its fear factor dramatically. And it’s much easier to spot all the numerous flaws in the narrative when you’re not having the living shit frightened out of you.

Was there ever a monster under the bed? The episode kind of leaves it open to interpretation, but I think it’s safe to say the answer is a definitive no. There’s a rational explanation for everything that happens (the thing under the blanket could be another kid playing a prank. The creaking pipes could just be creaking pipes. The Doctor could legitimately have forgotten he wrote something down, etc.). In fact the episode foreshadows this with the disappearing coffee cup that turns out to have been stolen by the Doctor. Also there’s the Where’s Wally joke:

The Doctor: “Where’s Wally? He’s not in this book.”

Rupert: “It’s not a Where’s Wally one.”

The Doctor: “How do you know? You may not have found him yet.”

Rupert: “He’s not in every book.”

It all builds up to the final twist, which is that there is no twist. Fair enough, i guess. Moffat asks some questions and provides some adequate answers. But it’s not exactly satisfying, is it? And it has an adverse affect on future rewatches. When you watch Listen again a second time, you’re no longer wondering what’s under the blanket or fearful at the prospect of what’s behind the locked door. You’re just watching a lump on a bed and listening to some creaky pipes.

There are other things I’m not fond of neither. The whole subplot with Clara and Danny just bored me senseless. Like in Into The Dalek, it’s just the same cliched romcom shit you’ve seen dozens of times before. And Moffat clearly expects you to be invested in their romance despite the fact this first date clearly demonstrates the two have no chemistry whatsoever. No, really! Look at them! Clara is callous and bossy, Danny is overly sensitive and a bit gormless, they’re constantly arguing over every little thing and they don’t really have anything in common outside of being teachers. What possible reason do I have to want to see them together when they’re clearly not suited for each other at all?

Also Moffat seems more concerned with developing the mystery surrounding Danny Pink rather than actually exploring his character. You know? Because big, convoluted mysteries dragged out over the course of an entire series is pretty much the only way Moffat knows how to get us interested in his characters. So who is Orson Pink? Is he related to Clara? I don’t know and I don’t care. The astronaut at the end of the universe could have been anyone really, and it wouldn’t have made a difference.

But the thing that pisses me off most about Listen is Clara. More specifically, how Moffat uses Clara in this episode. I’ve always hated Clara (I may have mentioned it one or several times over the course of these blogs) and Listen really highlights the flaws in her characterisation. Moffat has always had a predilection for female characters that fall into either the mother or dominatrix roles. Clara ends up playing both this time around. She mothers Rupert and then at the end of the episode she takes care of Doctor Jr (oh we’ll get to that. Don’t you worry). Like I’ve said in the past, Clara has no character. She exists solely to prop up the Doctor or whatever male character is important at the time. Hell, in The Name Of The Doctor, she outright says she was born to save the Doctor. That’s her sole purpose in life. Realising the distinct lack of character and independence she possesses, Moffat tries to compensate by throwing all this dominatrix type stuff in in an attempt to make her seem confident and authoritative. She slaps the Doctor again, she tells him to shut up and bosses him around. Except that doesn’t make her a compelling or unique character because all of Moffat’s women behave like this. River Song. Amy Pond. Irene Adler in Sherlock. Their dialogue is pretty much interchangeable. Forcing all of his female characters into these mother/dominatrix roles is not only sexist as shit, it also displays a sheer lack of imagination on Moffat’s part. It’s just boring by this point.

And it only gets worse when you factor Moffat’s humungous ego into the equation. He wants to put his own stamp on the franchise, and fair enough. Except that’s not what he wants to do, is it? He wants to carve his bloody name into the thing and leave a permanent mark on it. That’s why his characters often seem to out-Doctor the Doctor and are the most important people in the fucking universe. That’s why River Song went from being just a future companion that the Doctor hadn’t met yet to being his bloody wife that the Doctor’s entire life revolves around. That’s why Clara was born to save the Doctor and why she seems to have taken charge of the whole show. Not only is she not travelling in the TARDIS on a permanent basis, thus forcing the Doctor to come and pick her up because she’s that special and important she has to have the Doctor permanently on a leash and at her beck and call 24/7, she’s also now able to drive the damn thing. And the Doctor is constantly asking her for validation. For advice and consultation. Let’s not forget Moffat has in the past gone as far as to imply that the Doctor is completely ineffectual without Clara. He’s just thrown the entire dymamic out of whack just so his precious Mary Sue can be the star. And look, I’m all in favour of proactive companions, but at the end of day, it’s not her name in the fucking title. And if the only way you can make your companion interesting is by diminishing the Doctor’s character, you’ve fucked up.

But then Moffat takes it one more, borderline unforgivable step further. Yes, we’re talking about that scene.

Moffat isn’t the first to want to explore the Doctor’s history and add to the mythology. Other writers have done it in the past. From Robert Holmes and the 12 regeneration limit to Andrew Cartmel and the Cartmel masterplan. But one thing you must never do is mess the basics, and one of those basics is the Doctor’s mystery. It’s interesting wondering where the Doctor came from, which is precisely why we shouldn’t know. Finding out the origins of the Doctor wouldn’t make him more interesting. It would diminish him as a character. Which is why I HATE the ending to Listen with a fucking vengeance. Not only should we not be in that barn with Doctor Jr, end of (and on a side note, how the fuck did the TARDIS land on Gallifrey when the planet is supposed to be lost and still in a time lock because of the Time War?), the way Moffat does it is just beyond insulting. The Doctor is motivated by fear?

And the only reason he was able to turn it around and draw from it was because of Clara?

I’m sorry Moffat, but you can fuck right off with that idea. In fact you can take that idea and shove it firmly back up your arse from whence it came.

What’s worse is that it’s his fear the episode revolves around, forcing the Doctor to behave out of character and allowing Clara to step up and take his role in the first place.

Listen is different. I’ll give Moffat that. And it’s bloody terrifying on a first viewing. But it’s also a very shallow and paper thin story that doesn’t hold up to scrutiny and it demonstrates that Moffat’s ego is so massive and so uncontrollable that he’s prepared to piss around with the most vital components of the show he claims to be a fan of in order to leave his mark. Well congratulations Moffat. You have indeed left your mark. And now it’s going to take a very skilled mechanic to repair the damage you’ve done.

[sanjiafsincedayone]

Sanji and Purin - My view

So chapter 876 happened and I just wanted to update my thoughts on Sanji and Purin after what was shown in the chapter. I’ll also talk a little about what my thoughts are regarding where Oda might take the story with these characters. Or at least what my personal hope for it is.

Now, I don't want to come off as rude to anyone who likes Sanji and Purin together, but if you're sensitive just avoid my post.

First, looking briefly at chapter 876, I want to just mention the strawhats’ reactions to meeting Purin again.

I must say even though we did get a reaction from Luffy and the line “Then piss off!” was hilarious I think he forgave Purin rather easily… Or not forgave, but his reaction wasn’t that big. I assume Chiffon made it better? And it seems like there is this “We have only one option” vibe about making the cake… Which I suppose is ok, but isn’t really explained well. But anyways, back to Purin. I found it interesting that not even Sanji seemed all that interested in Purin except for his normal cute girl reaction he had at first. Which I understand, I mean it’s still Sanji. If he had even worse reactions when he knew she wanted to kill him this is very understandable in comparison even if she is clearly crazy. But I definitely don't see it as a sign for future romance or true love. Just a few chapters ago we saw Sanji going heart eyes over Nami and saying he wanted to be her slave. So how does this moments indicate anything deeper than Sanji's other love-cook moments? The only real differance is that Purin is seemingly attracted to him too, but we’ll get back to that.

Personally I find Purin’s character interesting as she goes between extreme yandere and tsundere… But I do wonder how Oda is going to handle this… I feel like he might go the “Sanji’s kindness changes Purin” by the end, meaning Purin’s evil side might disappear completely. Which would be a very simple solution in my opinion. If she really has some psychological problems, like a split personality it’s a little odd to just “make it go away” by something like that. But it’s a shonen, so I guess it’s to be expected if that happens.

Either way, despite finding her quite funny and interesting I’m not sure I like how Oda has treated Purin in general, making the readers confused more than anything… Which I assume is mostly for shock-value. But not knowing who the real Purin is makes it harder to understand and thus also perceive her as a character. For me as a reader this has meant I haven’t been able to form a proper relation with or feeling towards Purin, except for confusion. So I don’t like her for being a bad character and I don’t like her for being a nice character. I don’t hate her either, I don’t really feel much about her at all. She was rather funny the last time we saw her, so that’s an improvement, and there is some time left of the arc, so I guess Oda still has time to present her in a less confusing manner now that we know why she seems to switch personality. But either way since not even the strawhats know if they can trust her I still can’t trust her fully either.

And that is a big problem. If Oda really want Purin to be a love interest he has to make it clear that she’s someone trustworthy. Oda can’t just give Sanji a pretty girl and expect people to be happy with it. It takes a lot more than that to develop a genuine relationship, not even a romantic one but just one of friendship or less needs to be shown clearly. Which is difficult when we don’t even know if we can truly trust Purin. You get my point? Oda needs to make things much clearer regarding Purin before anything else.

Anyways, I guess we won’t get to spend that much time with Sanji, Purin and Chiffon… Baking a cake shouldn’t be all that interesting to watch, so we’ll probably just get a few updates here and there until they are on their way back and things can go wrong again.

Now, when it comes to Sanji x Purin, I can see a few options on how the story might evolve, but I can’t see them actually becoming a canon couple by the end of this arc. I know many seems to ship them now, and I kind of get it but at the same time I don't. I’ll state my reasons why Sanji and Purin doesn't work for me if we speak about canon romance.

First there is no reason for Sanji to get a love interest now. I personally think Sanji strives to find true love and that he’s not the playboy type so many fans seem to think. So by the end of the series, yes I'd love for Sanji to have changed enough to have a real romance. But adding a love interest now would mean that Sanji’s personality would be altered from now on out.

It would change the dynamics of the crew and I don’t think Oda would get rid of Sanji’s perverted side (even though I personally would love to see it toned down a lot), but if Sanji stays the same even after getting together with someone he will get a bad (even worse) image. Which is why I think Sanji needs to gradually change for him to end up with a love interest.

That being said, rejecting Purin despite a mutual attraction would be a perfect way to show that Sanji is not shallow and that to him love isn’t just about attraction. Especially since he’s already said himself that he doesn’t want to marry a girl he just met and barely know. Imagine him going back on that statement?

This panel sums up the ship’s shallowness for me, because the only thing that has happened after this is that Purin has hurt and tried to kill Sanji and his close ones while also proving to be crazy.

Also imagine what a message it sends out. “If a girl is pretty it doesn’t matter what she does, she’ll still get prince charming.” I’m all for Purin getting some sort of redemption, but not through romance.  I’m actually pretty sure her redepmtion will happen in some way, but it doesn’t change how much evil she has done and it doesn’t change the fact that she and Sanji barely know each other.

Basically there is not enough development. No time for two people to actually fall in love properly. Perhaps a crush, but nothing more. It’s too shallow. Purin falling for Sanji because of one compliment is horrible but understandable because of her past. But it’s still shallow, and doesn’t sound like a healthy way to start a relationship at all. And Sanji falling for someone as crazy as Purin just because she’s beautiful is also extremely shallow. I see no purpose of ruining both their characters like this by actually trying to show their development as a real love story. However, if Oda instead uses the opportunity of this small crush to show development in both characters, I will be more than happy. It will also be consistent with what Sanji has already claimed.

If Sanji rejects her that will be further development for his character, and Purin could also end up on a similar path as Lola, being free to search for her own true love instead of getting together with the first person that comes along and compliments her, making her basically obsessed instantly. If Sanji helps her on this road surely there will be enough to keep on shipping them happily, but having them turn canon just doesn't make sense at this point.

Also, frankly Purin is crazy and Sanji deserves better. Oda should have made Purin likeable from the start, or at least made sure to do a Violet and show she wasn’t actually evil and enjoyed taunting Sanji. Despite Purin turning good and possibly even getting rid of her “evil side” because of Sanji it doesn’t erase the fact that she tried to kill Sanji and his loved ones, just a few hours (minutes?) ago. I haven’t even forgiven Ceasar yet, how would you expect me to forgive Purin so easily? Just because half of her seem to like Sanji now?

She went too far to deserve being together with Sanji. The switch is too sudden, and even if she proves to be trustworthy by the end of the arc she’s still a crazy person who acts obsessive and just last chapter threatened to kill Sanji’s nakama. That is not a good relationship.

If so Violet was a better choice and Oda decided not to further develop that at all. In hindsight the only reasons I can see for Violet’s interactions with Sanji are

1. To remind the audience again about Sanji’s problem with fighting women in preparation for the current arc and the reveal of Sanji’s past.

2. To show that Sanji is in fact a good catch and can have women fall for him. Which is also a good set up in preparation for WCI. And also possibly show that Sanji is interested in love, not just lust.

3. Once again highlight Sanji’s ability to turn enemy into friend with his kindness.

4. To prove that Sanji’s nakama are of course more important to him than a woman he just met. Which Oda showed again when Sanji first rejected Purin.

5. Convenience for the plot.

I feel like Purin could be the next step in this development, and possibly change the view of Sanji because of what many One Piece fans consider the biggest flaws in Sanji’s character.

The chances of Purin becoming a new nakama are slim, but that is most likely the only way Oda could get enough time to develop a proper relationship between Sanji and Purin. Why I don’t think that she will become a nakama are because of a few reasons, but quickly I’ll just say I don’t think it’s likely because: Her job on the crew would be redundant. Either she would be there to bake or possibly to read poneglyphs and Sanji and Robin already perfectly fill those roles. She also doesn’t seem to be much of a fighter, and her ability with manipulating memories could in the long run be a hassle for Oda to keep track of. I don’t know, but I just don’t see her set of skills fitting with becoming a nakama.

She being on board as she is now with a double personality would of course be funny, but probably get really old in the long run since it’s not just a temporary gag. It would of course also mean that Sanji could possibly change and I am sure not many readers are interested in seeing romance being displayed on the regular. Most people who even wants romance in One Piece agrees it’s not the focus and that it would be better to wait with possible romance until the end of the series. Development towards that is of course needed, but in Purin’s case where it’s basically already confirmed she has a crush on Sanji I feel like it would be too much of a distraction. Even though Sanji actually does seem to be rather calm about her reactions.

There are also much more likable and possible choices for new nakama, like Carrot. I don’t know, I could be wrong, but personally I just don’t see Purin becoming a nakama neither a permanent love interest for Sanji.

I've also seen many talk about Purin being somthing similar what Kaya is for Usopp. But again, this is completely different. Kaya and Usopp have history together and got to know each other over a long period of time. They also fell in love/like each other for the right reasons, and there is nothing shallow about that possible ship. Sanji and Purin doesn't know each other, and what they know they don't seem to like. With the only exception being Purin's looks and Sanji's compliment. Everything else is ambiguous at best and even if there are more genuine feelings there, there is no way it's love already. Hence, I can't see Oda making it canon, at least not the way things look right now.

So, in short I does seem like Purin will be redeemed to some degree, but no matter how the story goes from now it doesn’t seem like making Sanji and Purin a canon couple is a very good idea. Also, my hope is for Oda to use this oppertunity to once and for all prove that Sanji isn’t as shallow as so many seem to think.

Thank you for reading, I know there’s a lot in here you’ve probably heard before, but I wanted to put out my own thoughts anyway. I really wanted to post this sooner, but my computer hasn’t really been on my side recently. ^^’’ And again, I’m not against shipping Sanji and Purin, I just think it’s a really bad choice for a canon romance. Let me know what you think!

[wildflowerhowell]

I Found, chapter 8

Dan Howell and Phil Lester hate each other, and everyone at the Ida Gatley school of dance knows it. So what happens when the two are paired together to choreograph and perform a duet at England’s most renowned contemporary dance competition?

word count (in total): 22,139

chapters: 12

genre: fluff and angst

tw: none

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“Does my hair look okay?” Dan stared at himself in the dressing room mirror, which was surrounded with those big light bulbs that you’d see in the movies, trying to fix every flaw in his appearance. He knew no one on the audience would be able to see the wrinkles in his shirt or the tiny patch of powder that had smudged on his leggings, but he didn’t care. They’d arrived at the theater about two hours ago, and the competition was just about to begin. Dan and Phil’s dance wasn’t until the end of the show, however, so they still had another 90 minutes or so to get ready.

“For the 100th time, it looks fine, Dan.” Phil was fixing his own hair in the mirror. The subtle highlight he’d applied earlier reflected off his chiseled cheekbones, and Dan couldn’t help but marvel at how good he looked.

“I just feel like all of the curls are out of place. Eh, whatever. How do you do your eyebrows like that?” Dan referred to the other dancer’s perfectly carved-out eyebrows, “Mine just look like caterpillars. You fill yours in so well.”

“Well yeah, a dancer’s gotta be able to make their face look good for a performance. Come over one day and I’ll teach you how to not suck at makeup, yeah?”

“Hey. I could be worse.”

“But you could also be a lot better.” Phil gestured at Dan’s eyes, which had little spots of mascara all over them.

“Yeah, that’s fair.”

The two boys had about thirty minutes to kill before they needed to start warming up and stretching, so they decided to play a game of truth or dare. They sat with their legs crossed on the tiled floor of their dressing room, facing each other. Phil went first, choosing truth.

“Okay. What was your first kiss like?” Dan giggled, leaning forward, anticipating Phil’s answer.

“Oh God, it was awful!” Phil let Dan laugh again before continuing. “I was 16, and there was this girl who liked me named Kate. I didn’t like her back but I’d never kissed anyone before so when she asked to kiss me I just kinda went along with it. It was really wet and gross and I hated it. When it was over, I wondered how anyone could enjoy kissing if that was what it felt like.”

“Oh no that’s so bad! Pretty funny though. Okay, my turn. Truth.”

“Um,” Phil thought for a second, trying to come up with a good question, “Same thing, what was your first kiss like?”

“Ooh, this is a good one. So I was in my drama class one day when I was 15, and my friend and I thought it would be funny to stage kiss each other. We both leaned in, but when we realized that he and I never said who was gonna put their thumbs in between our lips, it was too late. I was fine with it but I’m pretty sure I scarred him for life.”

Phil doubled over with laughter. “That story is so much better than mine! My turn again? Dare.” He smirked and raised his eyebrows, making Dan giggle again.

“I dare you to go ask the people in the dressing room next to us for something really weird.”

Phil thought about this for a second, then got up to open the door to their dressing room. When he knocked on the door of the room to their left, a blonde girl opened it. Dan leaned on the doorframe of his and Phil’s room and crossed his arms.

“Hey, I know this is weird,” Phil said to the girl, “But I was wondering if you had some water? I completely forgot my water bottle at my hotel, I’m so forgetful sometimes.” Phil kept a straight face while the blonde gave him a confused look. Dan was a bit confused too, as water wasn’t that weird.

“Um, there’s a water fountain right there.” She pointed past Phil to the fountain right behind him.

“Yeah, I know, but I don’t drink water from public fountains. I believe the government puts chemicals in it so they can control our minds.” Phil didn’t show a sign of breaking character, and Dan had to do everything in his power to keep from bursting into laughter. The girl took a second, her false eyelashes fluttering when she blinked. A brunette sitting in a chair in the corner of the blonde’s dressing room looked up from her phone and gave Phil a dirty look.

“Oh, uh, sorry, the only water I have is from that fountain.” The girl started to close the door but stopped when Phil touched her shoulder with a look of concern.

“You really shouldn’t drink from that. God knows what the government is making you think.”

The blonde brushed Phil’s hand from her shoulder. “Yeah, good luck later, bye.” She hurriedly closed the door while Phil enthusiastically waved and wished her good luck as well.

“Damn, Lester,” Dan gave Phil a look of astonishment as the older boy walked past him and winked, going back to the spot on the floor where he’d been sitting before. “You sure you don’t wanna quit dancing to become an actor?” He sat back down as Phil beamed at him.

The two dancers spent another half-hour playing truth or dare. Those 30 minutes were filled with exposing Dan’s guilty pleasure movie (Legally Blonde), Phil sending a blind text to his mom (she replied back within minutes, asking if he was drunk), and Dan trying countless times to lick his own elbow (Phil thought this was hilarious, taking pictures of all the different angles that Dan was trying.) The next 30 minutes after that were spent scrolling through Tumblr, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook. They filled the silence with How To Be A Human Being by Glass Animals because Phil claimed it was one of the best albums he’d heard in years. After that, they stretched and warmed up until a man with ginger hair and circle-framed glasses knocked on their door to tell them they were on in 10 minutes and needed to head down near the stage.

The two dancers stood in a little hallway near the stage entrance. Dan paced around, taking deep breaths. Phil stood silently, staring at his feet.

“Phil,” Dan said, still pacing, “How are you not nervous? I’m kind of terrified.”

Phil smiled, crossing his arms by his chest. “Who says I’m not nervous?”

“I guess I just make it more obvious?”

“Definitely.” The black-haired dancer uncrossed his arms and moved his hands to his hips, clearly unsure of what to do with them. “Actually, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

Dan stopped in his tracks and looked over at Phil. “Oh no. That sounds scary. And we only have a few minutes before we go on.”

Phil let out an anxious chuckle, “Don’t worry, it’s not anything bad. And it won’t take long.”

“Okay...” Dan squinted at Phil, “So what is it?”

“Do you remember yesterday when we agreed to be completely honest with each other?”

“Yeah. Have you not told me something I need to know?” The brown haired boy looked at the other dancer, who was staring downwards again, seemingly unable to speak.

“Phil we’re about to go on and if it can wait then-”

Suddenly, Phil was moving again, grabbing Dan by his shirt collar and pulling him into a kiss. It only lasted a few seconds, but the two boys were both breathless when Dan pulled away. In such a short amount of time, it was as if a million things had shifted inside of him. There were a million new questions, and a million new realizations, and a million new emotions he couldn’t quite put a name on or describe. He didn’t need a mirror to know his face had never been as red as it was right now, and he could probably say the same about Phil.

Phil.

When Dan looked at the other dancer, it was as if he was looking at a completely different person than the one he thought he’d known since he started dancing. He wasn’t able to pinpoint what the look on Phil’s face was conveying, and he suddenly wanted to know every thought that was running through that blue-eyed boy’s head. Neither one of them had said a word since the kiss, and Dan wanted to break the silence with some sort of comforting comment. But before he was able to say anything, the same ginger from earlier rounded the corner.

“Dan and Phil? It’s your turn to perform.”