#but also also im not actually sure this will show up in the game per se it may just be within my design documents lol

[moodr1ng]

every now and then i get one of my little pretentious story ideas like "oh what if i made an autopsy game where you try to determine how a person died by speaking to their organs, which all have different personalities and experiences, dont like each other, and also some of them lie to you" and then im several pages into writing dialogues for this thing and ive started making the graphics and i slowly realize that actually this sucks ass to write but also ive gotten too into it to stop. so anyway the working title of this is "dissection" and ive been intermittently working on it for like a year or two so look forward to that maybe someday happening if i can stomach (haha. you can talk to the stomach. so its funny.) writing more of this depressing fucking dialogue between you and some pieces of dead meat!

[musubiki]

Ok idea for ikasumi bc I love her but what if she has a pet familiar like mochi does and she gets tattoos of them and when she fights she can summon ink versions of them similar to Megumi from JJK or Aki from CSM

i think if she were to have little friends, it would be the little things she draws and brings to life to keep her company!!! but since shes such a uhhhhh bad artist, her little friends are never anything cool or elegant looking like the familiars, its usually something dumb and decrepit looking like her little friends in this post!! half the time you cant even tell what it is.....mochis like "oh no! a dog monster!" and ikasumi goes "Its a fish."

but yeah her original power inspo is actually sai from naruto!!! i havent watched the series in forever but as a kid i always thought the whole "draw something on a page, bring it to life in the 3d world while it retains its ink-like looks" is so cool...,,.

pre-timeskip while shes doodling in her notebook, her little friends pop to life and hang out around her, walking around on the table and stuff (not at school obviously not to cause trouble, but other places). i also wanna say her little creatures are like the little snowmen on that series ice-guy-and-the-cool-female-colleague where they reflect the emotions she doesnt show herself!!!

(i also wanna say theyre like the soot on spirited away, in the sense that you can like.... "squash" them physically but they just.....re-manifest out of the ink puddle? the only way they get back on the page is if you hit them with something paper, or if ikasumi puts them back in the notebook herself !!!

[writingmeraki]

unsaid, unkept, ugly emotions.

a seventeen hip hop unit imagines !

IN WHICH, the uglier side of feeling too much getting more messier than it already is for both parties involved.

(or in which for different reasons, it just seems you aren't meant to be.)

pairing : svt!hiphop!unit x gn!reader, friend's crush!seungcheol, best friend's other best friend!wonwoo, rival's friend!mingyu, rockstar! vernon.

genre : angst, no comfort. ( for now )

warnings : mentions of injuries, inaccurate basketball terms, cussing, messy, heartbreak, contemplation, arguments, miserable people, miscommunication, everyone gets hurt, a lot of unspoken feelings, like emphasis on that you may get annoyed. ( not proofread ; we die like hyyh yoonkook )

author's note : i tried so hard to make gyu's messy but i just couldn't ( you'll find out ) these plots are soo random and specific pls but so funnn to write! also me uploading this much is trying to make up for very less updates for the last months of 2023. I missed milestones and I want to make up for those soon too! gahh anyways let me know what you think of these, im actually nervous abt this ngl ( also i just noticed soo much friend drama oof-)

VOCAL UNIT VER. | PERFOMANCE UNIT VER.

word count : 4.1k ( they are getting longer...)

ᯓ★ | seungcheol.

He was off limits.

From the moment you knew your best friend, Haewon, had a crush on him, he was not supposed to ever be in your radar of romantic boundaries as per the rules of being a best friend. 

Seeing her going crazy for a boy like him at first really made you question if there was something wrong with you because you just couldn’t quite see it.

Sure he was literally the definition of tall, blonde and gorgeous. Sure he had adorable dimples that made him look less intimidating than you thought he initially was. Sure he was also the frat president as well as the captain of the soccer team making you wonder how he was able to still balance getting great grades.

Well. There was a slight possibility you could see what others saw. 

Maybe even more when the time you tried to play wingman for Haewon at a party where you lost her because apparently she was looking for him but said guy turned up right beside you as you were contemplating on what would least likely not kill your liver if you had it resulting in having conversations about cherries ( you don’t even know ) and him trying to convince (gaslight) you into soccer being one of the greatest games of all time. 

You didn’t get convinced but for the time it felt right to agree to what he said if it meant those adorable dimples would show up when you did. 

You were so screwed. 

Another thing Choi Seungcheol had was a great memory, because he seemed to remember you when he saw you walking down the hallway with Haewon as he smiled so widely at you in greeting. 

“Haha yeah hey! um…This is Haewon by the way! Haewon, Seungcheol.” You had to nudge her to snap out of her daze and she extended her hand in greeting as he politely shook her hand. 

“That reminds me, I forgot to ask you last night but uh can I have your-”

“Oh would you look at that! We’re getting late for class! I’m so sorry Seungcheol, we’ll have to leave!” 

That moment you think you were so going to hell when you saw how quickly his smile fell and how his sparkly eyes dimmed down because it felt like you committed a sin then and there. You think you saved yourself from committing a sin but it didn’t feel less dreadful as you grabbed her hand and rushed as quickly as you could.

In the opposite direction of where your class was.

“WHAT WAS THAT-”

“Listen- when you were looking for him last night- I swear I don’t know how but he was right where I ended up sitting and he-well, we talked I suppose-?”

Her eyes widened at your words and you raised your hands in surrender, 

“I promise I didn’t even know when he showed up, I tried to message you and even find you but you seemed gone until the moment we were leaving.”

“Plus the reason I didn’t tell you last night was I was tired! I was here trying to play wingman while the person in love was seemingly gone-”

She sighed and nodded at you, “You don’t have to explain, I know he’s not your type, you made that clear a lot of times actually it’s kinda hilarious.” She giggled as she recalled the countless times you chastised her for daydreaming about him. But now, you couldn’t stop the stupid tinge of bitterness in your heart.

Right. Not my type. 

Suddenly her eyes widened as an idea struck her, “That’s it! He was gonna ask for your number right? You can try and set me up then!”

“I well- I don’t know-”

“Please! You know how I have been trying to get to know him even.”

You didn’t want to say it then but you thought about how trying meant actually doing something rather than just gazing from afar. At least become friends with him was the words you told her countless times but she paid no heed, retorting how it was not that easy.

But it was easy because what’s the worst that could happen? Him having a partner? So it wasn’t the end of the world, others existed! 

Too bad you were easy to persuade, questionably easy because all it took were her doe eyes pleading at you to agree.

“Fine- I’ll try- but no promises.”

As she hugged you and squealed words of gratefulness to you, you couldn’t quite put a finger on it then but, 

You didn’t understand why it felt a part of you couldn’t seem to share the same happiness, conceivably a lingering dread there that knew something was surely going to go wrong.

✮⋆˙ | wonwoo.

Everytime Jeon Wonwoo had the ever so unfortunate ( according to him ) time to exist in the same room as you, it seemed like an impending doom for him. 

His heart felt weird, his stomach dropped, his throat parched.

He hated it. 

He was an individual who knew what they wanted in life. Never unsure nor second guessing, always able to classify their emotions in proper ways. Systematic is the right word. Able to know what exactly he wants to do in his career, how to behave with his friends, when to be serious and when to have ‘fun’. 

So what happens when you completely throw him off the rocks with your mere existence?

He hates you. That’s how he tags the emotions he feels when he sees you and what does hatred sprout? Indifference. 

Too many questions asked but it’s what Wonwoo declares. 

Though, he thinks the first mistake is to think he’d be able to avoid you considering the fact that you were his best friend/roommate’s good friend. Meaning you spent around twenty to twenty two hours at their place (Yes he counted) and he absolutely hated it.

He hated how your giggles would ring out in the entire apartment when Mingyu said a half-assed joke, it literally made his chest feel uneasy. He hated how your eyes would always twinkle when you would be talking to Mingyu, it made his stomach drop and sigh in disbelief. 

Was Mingyu that oblivious to how much you liked him?

Now this was a question that made Wonwoo almost throw up. Odd.

“You know if you don’t make a move, he won’t even know right? I know you think he’s one of the smartest but in the romance field, I think even fucking Jihoon beats him at that.” 

Or perhaps Wonwoo was just very oblivious to how much you liked him. 

You shook your head at Mingyu’s words as you both walked up to his apartment, the butterflies in your stomach already churning at the thought that Wonwoo was likely home. 

“And also it’s getting concerning how much time you spend in my apartment for the sake of him, like at this point just move in you creep—HEY!Ow!— that hurt you ass!”

“It’s not that easy,Gyu,he’s – he’s Wonwoo for God’s sake!”

“That’s exactly why it’s easy! It’s Wonwoo! Be direct with him. I’ve known him for years and trust me, he won’t know until you spit it out to him!”

Maybe…maybe he was right. Afterall he had been friends with Wonwoo before even knowing you.

“What if he doesn’t even feel the same–”

“Be serious. He literally looks like a lovesick fool when you’re over–”

“Maybe he’s just sick of me coming over.”

Mingyu stopped walking and you didn’t even realize until you were a few steps ahead. Pausing when you finally saw he wasn’t beside you.

His expression was like he was close to ripping out his hair from frustration while also being flabbergasted. It was kinda hilarious and you had to gulp to prevent laughing because you were sure he might just kill you.

“Okay! Okay, fine– I'll listen to you– maybe not confess today! But I'll ask if we can hangout or something,happy?”

“Very.” 

You rolled your eyes at his words as you both began climbing up the stairs, telling him to shush with his teasing as the tips of your ears began to feel warm and the blood rushed to your cheeks with every scenario you imagined.

Maybe if you thought that the upcoming scenario would ever occur. it would have hurt less. 

As you waited for Mingyu to pull out his keys, you could feel your nerves igniting through your skin and your stomach churning. But before Mingyu could insert the key, the door opened.

You wouldn’t have questioned anything, if it weren’t for the obvious messy hair, hickey marks trailing down her exposed neck and of course, the star of your daydreams right behind her, standing with a surprised face.

It was obvious what had occurred, the confirmation lying in the bruises on his neck. 

“Woah–uh.” Mingyu stuttered awkwardly, and you could feel his sympathy as he glanced at you. You couldn’t think of anything else other than how…right you were and how wrong Mingyu was.

You didn’t know who she was but it wasn’t her fault. Or anyone’s. Maybe yours. So as a weird tension simmered through the air, you looked away from them and just turned to Mingyu. 

And for the first time in his life probably, he was lost. Jeon Wonwoo was lost because why did he just feel like he committed a crime when he wasn’t even yours anyways?

He hated the way you looked away, not missing the hurt that flashed across your eyes as you realized what he probably was doing. 

You didn’t even notice she’d already left, smiling at Wonwoo and signing him to call her back, again. Probably not the first time, you thought.

“Uh-Gyu- I’ll go now, It’s getting late for me anyways,”

You really tried to stop your voice from cracking, the lump in your throat making you want to choke and die then and there. So you just looked at Mingyu, purposefully ignoring the way he looked at you in sympathy. 

His stare seemed to burn into your side profile. The words on the tip of his tongue, but what? It all felt like a lot but nothing at the same time. Wonwoo didn’t know what to say. 

Nodding goodbye to Mingyu and glancing at Wonwoo, offering a tight lipped smile as you waved, and then without saying anything you turned around. 

Mingyu frowned. His best friend couldn’t own up to his feelings for you and just when you were about to take a step forward, he somehow ended up fucking it up completely. 

What a mess. 

“Come on, we need to talk.”

Mingyu said seriously, putting an arm over Wonwoo’s shoulders, albeit a little forcefully which caused the other boy to almost stumble over. 

It seemed it was now up to him now to sort out this mess and hopefully it doesn’t get worse from here.

✩₊˚. | mingyu.

Being the new captain of the basketball team had its perks. Sure, you now officially got tagged as a ‘jock’, a title in itself that held its own benefits, probably more than just when you were another player in the team. 

But its disadvantages seemed more at the moment when you found yourself under the angered gaze of none other than Yoon Jiwoo. Another player of the basketball team. Shooting guard was the position.

By all means, it wasn’t your fault she was not captain, it was her own actions that did not get her the position. And plus, it wasn’t like it was bad not being a captain, Yeri was a small forward, yet probably the best one at it. So it was at the end of the day, nothing to you but just more responsibilities with the title. 

Plus, it was also voted by the rest of the players that you deserved to be captain this time when it was time to appoint a new captain. Jiwoo had been a captain before Lisa became that year, but she left and so there had to be a new choice made. 

With Jiwoo’s unfair hatred towards you, also came a similar animosity from her group of friends. Well you think Jiwoo wants them to share the same feelings as she does but you doubt they care enough, usually neutral towards you or sympathetic even as they tried to reason her animosity being useless.

They were five or six if you could remember correctly from the times they’d drop her to practice or come to pick her up sometimes. Apparently one of them was her cousin Yoon Jeonghan and you could surely see the similarities in them from the way unrealistically attractive they both looked. 

But the one that stuck out most to you was Kim Mingyu. Her best friend. And the one who supposedly hated you the most, after her that is.

Then why did he feel anything but hate? He couldn’t stop looking at you during your practice when he stuck around to wait for Jiwoo, as if in a trance as his gaze remained on you.

He couldn’t stop the way his heart sped up when you grinned so widely as you scored, tackling your teammate in a hug. Why was he suddenly envious of the people who got to experience your joy? 

In his defense, he liked you way before you were even captain. It was probably since the day he first saw you try for the teams and he thinks it was fate that he got to stumble onto you that one sunny afternoon. 

You were nervous for your trials and he was nervous from the way your hair prettily rested on your cheeks and made you almost glow in the sun. Yeah, he was convinced it was love at first sight.

Though he feels liking his best friend’s rival was…confusing. He didn’t know if he could take a side or if he should even question taking a side. 

“You pushed them on purpose Jiwoo!” Yeri yelled at her as she held you upright. You couldn’t even make out some of the words as you focused on the pain shooting up your ankle from the way it twisted. 

“We all saw it, stop acting like you did nothing!”

“Exactly, you have this weird hate boner for them since you couldn’t get your stupid captain title!” 

You were sure the first voice was Chaewon while the other was Yeri.

“Why are you all ganging up on me? It wasn’t on purpose! Ask-ask someone else as well!” Her voice got louder and louder as she finished her sentence. She didn’t expect people to take your side. Although her plan was just a little shove to keep you off balance as she got the ball in her hand, she did not expect you to twist your ankle completely. 

“It’s fine- just- just leave it. It was a mistake, I just-” Your words were cut off as you hissed out in pain again as you attempted to get up, only to tumble down again, luckily held up by Yeri and Chaewon.

They sat you down on the bench as they huddled around you in a panic. You pulled off your shoes, scrunching your nose from the smell but the pain quickly took your focus from that.

 “Hey! What’s going on?” You heard someone say as they entered, their voice familiar to you. Mingyu had come to pick up Jiwoo as usual, not knowing she left sneakily when they were focused on you, when he saw everyone huddled together, confused when he couldn’t see you amongst the first few he saw. 

He didn’t need to peek over due to his well…giant form, but he saw you sat down in the middle as he got closer, caressing your leg. His eyes widened when he saw your ankle swollen up and an angry red shade that was definitely not natural.

“Shit that looks bad.” You looked up and you swore you thought you were hallucinating. Because no way was Kim Mingyu out of everyone looking at you with nothing but worry and concern. He still looked…good. As always. Per usual. You think you got distracted from your pain for just a minute as you stared at him for a few seconds, him seemingly not noticing as he kept his eyes on your ankle.

“Blame your girlfriend.” Yeri scowled as she spitefully retorted, as Chaewon dug her elbow into her side to which she yelped and glared at her. 

“Girlfriend?” He turned his attention towards her, resembling a confused puppy as he raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“Yeri.” You spoke up firmly before she could say anything, looking at her with a look that told her to keep her mouth shut,not wanting to make this a bigger scene than it already was. She sighed and rolled her eyes, ultimately not saying anything.

You moved your leg around for a bit, deciding you should give it a go again to stand up, and drag yourself to the infirmary. And when you did stand up, it seemed you really overestimated yourself or perhaps underestimated your injury because next thing you knew you lost balance again.

But lucky for you, instead of landing right on the wooden floors and having a blistered lip, you landed right on Kim Mingyu. It only occurred to you now just how much taller than you he was when his whole form almost engulfed you.

“Woah. Take it easy, you’ll get hurt more.” He had wrapped one hand on your waist while the other held your arm. You think his touch burnt you more than anything because you felt yourself begin to warm up. 

“How about I take you to the infirmary? Sorry I didn’t say it sooner, I was just confused on what Yeri said and-”

“It’s-uh-it’s fine- I’ll go by myself-”

“Are you crazy?! You can’t even stand!”

You blinked, taken aback by his words, even more so with just how concerned he seemed,his eyes glistening with it. 

Kim Mingyu was someone you thought you knew but apparently you did not because a few minutes later, you found yourself being piggy-backed by him to the infirmary as he was scolding you about taking better care of yourself. 

You tried to reason that Yeri and Chaewon would take you but they both were adamant on Mingyu taking you, while they would go and look for a certain someone ( You prayed they would not be kicked out of the team).

His grip on your thighs, his shampoo that you could smell, his shoulders that were just so…so broad you couldn’t even fully wrap your arms around them…just him felt so overwhelming. Your pain was long forgotten as you tried not to freak out over how you were currently feeling over him.

But with the way he seemed, the way he acted, was it wrong to assume that perhaps, there was a possibility these feelings weren’t so one-sided?

Well, only one way to find out. 

₊˚⊹⋆ | vernon.

They say people shine their best when they are in their element doing what they love. But to you, Chwe Vernon shone even in the dimmest lights as he sat down in front of you.

It was just a few minutes before their gig. Him and his friends ; Jungkook, Mingyu and Eunwoo from what you remember, were all a part of an upcoming rock band. They were actually gaining more fame as time passed and you were proud to be one of the few who witnessed their growth from the beginning. 

They began from your small bar right in the downtown area where you worked as a bartender, you remembered their first performance, you were told it was their first gig actually. Now they are close to being signed up by a company, still wanting to perform one last time at the place where it all began. 

To you, he was the boy you’d always admire from afar, knowing there was no actual probability of him seeing you in that light. Even now, considering their gaining fame, you’d see the type of people that would swoon over him, even a few celebrities and models you remember. 

He was…a star. Far away and admirable but never in your reach. And stars are better to admire than seek anyways.

Though, it seemed your star wasn’t that far away from you as you thought. In fact he was much closer to you than you could even comprehend. 

In other words, Chwe Vernon was head over heels from you. Since the first time he performed and spotted you when you were busy serving drinks, since the time you told him how great they performed as he sat down in front of you while you talked about what interested you, your eyes gleaming under the dim bar light. And he thinks it was very much obvious what felt when he saw your wide grin, dimples poking out as you finally served him his drink. 

Whisky wasn’t something he liked, but you had recommended a certain combination with it and he thinks nothing else tasted sweeter that day. 

Sadly everyone around you but you saw that. Too focused on how you weren’t ever going to be a possibility because you thought he was just unattainable instead of thinking of the probability of just how much he may have liked you. 

“Nervous?” You smiled at him as you finished setting up the remaining glasses for the night, ready to serve knowing it would be a very busier night than usual due to them performing. 

Yes, yes he was nervous but not because of performing but because he was about to confess. 

“Haha- yeah- no! I mean uhm no- we’re- we’ll be fine.” He wanted to cuss at himself for stuttering, probably looking foolish, but he thought it was fine when he heard your giggle as you shook your head. 

“Oh you are. You’re already the best and I assume and hope it’ll only get better from now on.”

With you. It would get better with you because anything feels better with you. 

He wishes he could say it out loud, but maybe soon enough. That is if you don’t reject him. Yeah he doesn’t know what he’ll do if you do. Throw up probably. Or die. Dying seems good actually, he thinks. 

“Vernon? Here.” He snapped out of his thoughts as he blinked, looking down at the drink in front of him, confused because he didn’t order anything.

“On the house, from me. It’s my favorite drink actually. I-uh hope you like it.” He thinks even if you served him garbage he’d still be delighted, extreme but meh it was close to how he fell for you. Extreme and down bad.

“Oh then I’ll love it for sure.” Because I love you. 

Your grin grew wider as you were about to say something, you heard your name being called by your co-worker.

“Oh- I’m sorry I have to go now! I’ll be here when you perform for sure! Good luck!” 

“It’s okay, you’ll be here afterward.” 

You looked at him apologetically as he shook his head, knowing you were just doing your job and nodding to you to go, to which you waved goodbye at him. 

Perhaps you really underestimated your own words because apparently you couldn’t make it there. You were called by your mother who had gotten sick at home and needed someone to take care of her. 

You thought about whether you should inform Vernon but figured it wouldn’t be too much of a big deal, telling your co-worker to let him know in case he asked afterwards but you doubt he would, probably exhausted after the long night. You forgot your co-worker was switching shifts mid-way with another one, one who would obviously not know your whereabouts. 

And now as he got ready to sing the song he’d written for you, for you with very obvious lyrics about you, the moments with you, he searched for you but…you were nowhere. 

You weren’t there. 

Did you find out? Did you know? Did you think it was too much? 

All the questions arose in his mind as he shut his eyes and breathed in to calm himself. He couldn’t lose his cool on stage when there were so many fans waiting for him to perform.

He looked at his bandmates, and shook his head, not wanting to look at them again as they looked at him sympathetically.

“That’s it for tonight! We hope you continue supporting us in the future! Have a goodnight Seoul!” 

He said and this time as he felt anything but content, his heart heavier than ever and mind in a haze. 

Maybe in this lifetime, you’d both remain two separate stars. Far and never-crossing. 

all written works as well as images and edits (unless credited) belong to pri. do not plagiarise, repost, re-edit or claim as yours. pics mostly found on pinterest.

writingmeraki Ⓒ 2024

feedback is always appreciated 💌

links : main navi ! | svt masterlist !

[addisonnie]

hinge and uhaul

summary: college!au. when all else fails…one must look for love on hinge!

an: hi! back from hiatus and of course it would be for a clump of pixels because i am down astronomically bad! this is the first part of a possible series! so let me know if a part 2 is warranted.

warnings: cursing, reader has 0 rizz shes literally a mess, reader also rambles and lots of this is just her inner dialogue because why not. also not very edited and possible tense shifts because im the worst!

part 2 ———————————

Tinder is a soul-sucking vortex. 

A nightmarish flurry of shirtless mirror selfies, conservatives, and men that look like they’d hit on your mom after walking you to the door. Switching your profile settings from ‘men’ to ‘everyone’ seemed like the best option; It wasn’t. The best option would’ve been to delete your account and light your phone on fire after receiving the fourth “you send?” message in a row.

Hinge is a smaller soul-sucking vortex. At least you can deny their comments before you embarrass yourself by matching with a douche like that. Your account is set to ‘show me everyone’ and you can only hope that ‘everyone’ includes at least some good ones. Swiping and clicking on dating apps seems to be more of a game than it is actual match-making, a time-passer of sorts. 

Your roommate, Dina, huffs loudly from her lofted bed across the room, “would you get your sorry ass off of that app? It’s sad listening to you moan and groan about all the losers!”

You roll your eyes, “my soulmate could be the next person!”

No. No. No, again. Oooh…yes? 

You swipe through the girl’s page before deciding not to match with her, because who’s Hinge bio states that they’re still in love with their ex? Dina cheers while you huff and slam your phone onto your desk, spinning idly in your chair. The television on top of Dina’s purple mini fridge is playing a random episode of Bob’s Burgers and, for a moment, you forget about your ever-growing dating app addiction.

It’s not that you’re addicted per say. You just spend most of your downtime sitting in your bed and judging people’s profiles, when yours surely isn’t up to par either. Hey, at least you don’t have a picture of you holding a fish.

The rhythmic buzz of your phone quickly draws your eyes away from the cartoon on screen, your hand dramatically reaching for your phone.

Hinge: Ellie liked you! Tap to see the comment she left.

Ellie. That’s a cute name…fairly normal too! Surely she didn’t leave some weirdo comment about how your hair looks like it smells good. Your fingers fumble to tap on the notification and you feel a blush rising to your cheeks as you click on Ellie’s like.

She left her comment under a picture of you taken at a local museum. A big cheesy grin is painted across your face and there’s skeletal remains of some random dinosaur behind you, Dina is crouched under the jaw of the creature pretending to scream while she gets eaten. Hopefully this isn’t one of those situations where Ellie asks ‘if your friend is single.’

Nope. She left a simple comment. I love dinosaurs!!!

You smile as you quickly click on Ellie’s profile to see her. There are a couple pictures of her, and good god is she hot. Flushed, you quickly match with her.

But what do you say? This is life or death. You need this woman. 

Hey!

You’re hot

Do you want to have vicious lesbian sex with me?

Okay. Jesus, you are not good at this. While you mull over the keyboard attempting to decide what to say to the ever-attractive Ellie, another message comes in.

Hey, pretty girl!

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Your fingers are fumbling over the keyboard, your heart is beating, you’re planning you and Ellie’s wedding. You wonder if she likes lace or prefers the classic look?

Hey! What’s up?

Nothing really. Just playing some guitar!

Guitar? She just gets hotter. Did she also save puppies from a burning building? You wonder if she would want roses at the wedding. Hopefully not, too basic.

Ooooh guitar you say? Whatcha playing?

It’s a few moments before she responds and you’re biting the nail on your thumb awaiting her reply.

Whatever your favorite song is.

A heavy sigh escapes your lips as you smile and rest your head in your hand. 

Why don’t I tell you that over dinner?

It takes Ellie a few minutes to respond this time and you’re sure you’ve managed to scare her off at the mention of an actual date. Her reply comes just as you go to turn your phone off,

How about you give me your number and we can talk more about this date?

————

Giving your number to Ellie was perhaps the best decision made in your life thus far. She constantly sends text messages of whatever she’s doing, wearing, eating, or strumming on her guitar. It’s been about a week since you first exchanged information and you’re slightly worried that Ellie no longer wishes to go out on a date. You’ve tried to ‘accidentally’ bump into her on campus multiple times, but she manages to just barely slip away each time. 

You’re sitting at your desk attempting to finish an essay when your phone rings in your lap. Ellie’s contact appears lit up on the screen and you just about scream when you grasp the phone between your fingers.

“Hello?” You’re already blushing.

“Hey, you! What’re you up to?” Ellie’s voice is loud into the microphone and you can make out multiple different voices on her end of the line.

“Nothing important,” you close your computer quickly, “why, what’s up?”

She takes a moment to answer as you hear her yell something to whoever else is in the room with her, “me and some friends are at a bar…will you come? Live music and stuff. Plus, I still haven’t taken you on that date!”

“Yes!” Okay, you probably should’ve tried to sound less excited. “Ehem…yes. Text me the address?”

You hear Ellie laugh before she happily responds, “will do! Text me when you get here and I’ll come out front to meet you.”

—————

Dina and her friends surely shop at Hookers R Us because where else would anybody find a skirt so goddamn short. 

“D. Dina. My cheeks are hanging out the bottom.” Dina rolls her eyes and tugs on the hem of the mini denim skirt.

“Well if you wore it down here,” she tugs the denim again, “instead of up to your tits like a grandma would…maybe it would be longer.”

Several shirts are thrown toward your perch on Dina’s desk chair, “what’s wrong with the shirt I have on?”

Dina’s boyfriend. Jesse, interjects, “because I don’t like it.”

“Okay, fashion police. How about this one?” You hold up a form fitting black top and Dina nods vigorously, “yes. But no bra. Show off them ladies!”

————

The Uber barely comes to a full stop as you clamber out of the backseat. Grasping for your phone, you text Ellie.

Here! :)

Was the smiley face overkill? Too much?

Cominh!!!!!

*Coming. Not drunk, I swear.

You think you’re the one doing the coming as you watch Ellie stroll towards you in the parking lot. If she was hot on Hinge, she’s ten-thousand times hotter in the dingy lighting that casts a magical glow upon her. She’s wearing a pair of baggy jeans and a white wife-beater, an old worn out flannel is unbuttoned over the top and rolled up just above her elbows. Her raggedy jeans are cuffed to the top of her converse and— wow is she a walking wet dream.

“Hey! I’m glad you came.” She doesn’t wait for an answer as she pulls you straight in for a hug, her calloused hands resting on your hips. You feel her finger tips touching the uncovered skin below your top, the contact makes you shiver.

Ellie squeezes you a little tighter before pulling away, leaving her arm draped over your shoulder, “c’mon, warmer inside.”

You let her lead you into the bar and through the slight crowd congregated near the entrance. A small group of people stand huddled next to the bar and Ellie leads you straight to them as she leans down to speak in your ear, “those are my friends.”

You nod and shamelessly nudge your body to be tucked further into her side, blushing profusely when you feel her arm tighten around your shoulders.

“Guys, this is the girl I was telling you about! And these are my friends I mentioned on the phone.” Ellie smiles while she introduces you to everyone and as much as you enjoy the domesticity of hanging out with her friends, you much prefer the nook you’ve found nestled under Ellie’s toned arm.

———

Her face leans down by your ear again, “wanna drink? I’ll get you one.”

You smile up at her, “would you shoot me if I said I want an espresso martini instead of the beer you’ve been nursing all night?”

She giggles into your ear and her breath fans across your face, “one espresso martini, coming up!” 

She pulls away and salutes you before turning around and marching to the other end of the bar, waving her arm to grab the bartender’s attention.

“So you’re the lucky lady? I’m Abby, Ellie’s friend.” Damn, she is buff as hell. Her toned arm stretches across a barstool to shake your hand.

You stare at her open palm, “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I did that. Who still shakes hands? I’m done drinking for the night.”

She cracks a smile when you laugh and shake her hand anyways, “nothing wrong with a good ol’ handshake.”

You speak with Abby while you wait for Ellie to return with your martini. She’s leaning up against the wood and speaking to the bartender as he pours the concoction into a glass. How she manages to look so appealing at all times is an enigma. Her short hair is pulled half-up into a bun while the rest barely skims the top of her shoulders, the botanical tattoo on her forearm sticks out from under her rolled-up sleeve and—fuck. You’re drooling.

Double-fuck. She caught you staring.

You blush when she throws a wink your way, turning back toward the bar to grab your drink. 

And then she’s in front of you once more, “malady.”

She slides in between your legs while you sit atop the cushioned barstool (which you’re pretty sure makes a fart noise any time you move) and rests both of her hands on your hips.

Lifting the drink to your mouth, you hum happily when the flavor covers your tongue, “good?”

“Really good. Superb.” Ellie chuckles and leans in toward you, placing a kiss in the hollow of your collarbone, “c’mon, there’s some more people I want you to meet.”

————

You’re not exactly sure how you ended up in this position but good god do you wish you could die right here and right now. Ellie is leaning up against the poster-covered wall of the bar with you pulled tightly to her chest. Your back is pressed against her front and one of her arms is wrapped around you, long fingers splayed across your lower stomach. She’s talking animatedly to the guy standing in front of you two and in all honestly you can’t focus on what they’re talking about while you feel the tips of Ellie’s fingers rest upon the skin under your skirt. 

It’s innocent. She doesn’t realize her fingers have traveled just south of the top of your skirt, but you’d be lying if you said the feeling of her calloused fingertips below the belt didn’t make you squirm. Her auburn hair tickles the side of your face as your head rests back in the crook between her neck and shoulder. And even better—her cheek presses to the top of your head when there’s a lull in her current conversation.

Hearing the man she was speaking to bid his goodbyes, you turn in her arms. The one that was previously grasping a beer bottle quickly swaps to rest in the back pocket of your skirt instead, her other hand squeezes your hip.

“Hi.” She smiles at you.

“Hi.” You press a kiss to her cheek.

The feeling leaves Ellie warm and she squeezes you a few times before ultimately deciding to cut to the chase and lean in. It’s a sweet peck, a little tipsy kiss that leaves you buzzing and floating outside of your body. The bright, crooked smile she gives you after pulling away punches the air from your lungs and Jesus Christ— now you understand the U-Haul lesbians because in this moment you are well and truly fucked. If this woman, this stranger, asked you to pack your shit and move in, you would.

And the look she gives you as she brushes a stray piece of hair behind your ear tells you she might just feel the same.

[factual-fantasy]

23 ASKS! THANK YOU! :DD 🐟

@timestorm04

1: Captain Barnacles! :DD

2: One of the reasons why I redrew them suddenly was because I was thinking of re-writing my Octonauts Sea dwellers AU :0 But I'm going back on that now tbh.. :///

They didn't figure it out and they did end up booking it. I mean,, can you really blame them?

We know Papyrus, and all of us would absolutely give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he was innocent. But Seam and Jevil don't know the Papyrus we know.

All Seam sees is an absolute mountain of bodies and an state of utter decay all around him.. with suspiciously the last man standing being a very clearly mentally unstable skeleton.. would you assume he was innocent?

Add onto that all the stress Seam was under, how unstable he was as well. Seam couldn't see the situation any other way and he was not taking any chances.

AAA THANK YOU!! IM SO GLAD TO HEAR THAT YOU LIKE THEM!! :DDDD

@foxythefox711

I don't watch Adventure time currently and I don't know all the nitty gritty of the shows lore.. but my favorite characters from what I've seen is Simon! With Jake as a close second. :} Also Prismo is 3rd I think-

f...fank youu!!

(Also the protons joke got a laugh outa me XDD )

:DD Thank you so much! I'm glad you like how I draw them!! :}}

@couchwow

oh ok

Wait are the characters from the game actually baked in an oven to be "born"?? I didn't know that--

@taizarack

:DD I'm glad you like them! And although I don't have either game, I hope to learn a little more about the games lore :0

@chickenheadguy (Link in question)

Oh! Thank you! Lemme just take a look an--

170 VIDEOS??

GORL THEY WEREN'T LYING THOSE COOKIES GOT LORE-

(Also thank you for the compliments and the link! :DD )

@luna-purple454

NO HE DOESN'T GET KILLED-- Seam and Jevil just jump to another AU as soon as Jevil had the strength to. Leaving Papyrus behind in the process..

(Also thank you!! :DD )

@torriderrelic44

I don't have any plans to draw any art like that, no.. sorry! <:/

YES. YES IT DOES. But its not the people who go "ohmygosh I LOVE this (AU/thing) you made! Its wonderful! Do you have any plans to continue it someday.? If not that's ok! Just wondering!" Those guys are fine and I take it as a compliment actually!

Its the people who say things like "When are you gonna finish this" "Why did you stop drawing this" "How long until you draw this again" "I don't like what you're drawing, now go back to this it was better" comments like THOSE, suck. And its always about the same comics/subjects that I stopped drawing months ago. Looking at you Octonauts crab comic

As for my AUs, its not too hard for me to remember all of them. I never have more than 5-6 per fandom. I can usually list them off by memory! :0

Tbh the animatronics would probably just register that as a mess/hazard and would notify an employee about the issue. In which the employee would dispatch a mop bot to go clean it up. I imagine it unfortunately happens often enough that the bots aren't really fazed. Kids amirite-

I have drawn her at least twice from recent memory! Once in this horror post, and she makes an appearance in part 1 of my FNAF AU recap/repair! :00

The reason why I rarely draw her is becuase of the plans I have for her in my AU. She is meant to be very mysterious and I want the changes I made to her in my re-write to be a surprise-

Also thank you! I'm glad you like my cookie run creatures! :}}}

WAAAA THAK YOU SO MUCH!!!😭😭💖😭

I'm not sure actually.. idk if the characters from the games are aware that they are "cookies" in the sense that they are meant to be eaten- So I'm not sure how my characters would react either-

Its related to the names of the drivers, I cant share anything else! :x

@mumble-jumble-gallery (Post in question)

Magic candy..? Huh- well I'm glad it isn't world shattering at least-- <XDD

@ravenslog

THANK YIU!! :DDD

:DD Thank you so much! I'll be sure to draw them again sometime XD

@beryl-shade

Sorry for the late reply! This ask got buried-

If you look to this post for reference, I was thinking that Fredbear would be as tall as Bonnie. Maybe a little taller.? And Spring Bonnie would be about as tall as Foxy :00

[yannisrandomstuff]

The Gabriels reactions if you do the "ignoring my Boyfriend for 24hours challenge" thing

Note: fluff just fluff

ALTgabriel

he would probably think that you are on ladies days so try and kind of understand on why you were ignoring him.

but this man is good at observing things, he'll immidiently know that you are actually doing this on purpose.

he'll try to talk to you in a sweet voice but you still ignore him.

after many tries he'll eventually pin you against the bed and ask you on why you were ignoring him

while his true form is slowly showing and his voiced sounding like a old distored vhs.

you can already tell that he's pissed.

He is now 100% sure that you're doing this on purpose. The house gets dead silent all of a sudden and gets too cold.

unfortunately you're not the only one who can play this kind of game, he can too and he will take this seriously.

in the end your the one that needs to beg for him to give you his attention and to stop ignoring you.

of course he wont let's you get away with it you need prove that you're worthy of his attention~.

ANGELgabriel

okay first. please dont ignore this man im begging you.

he will get worried ofcourse, he'll probably wonder on why you were ignoring him and think if he did something wrong.

at first he'll try to talk to you on whats wrong in a soft sweet pleading voice with thode worried eyes.

he try and gives you space.

he'll cook some snacks that you like and place it in the table where you can immidietly notice it.

it also comes with a note.

"hello Love, if you're reading this, please it the food that i made you i dont know if you have eaten yet since you wont talk to me... but please eat it. I love you"

When he founds out that you're doing this on purpose, he will be upset and will probably ignore you too in 5 mins or so

but this man is very kind and sweet to ignore his beloved. So instead he will just talk to you in a serious voice on why you were ignoring him on purpose

After you explain it to him he will just hug you real tight and kisses you all over your face while telling you not to do it again because it worries him.

please dont ignore him >:'(

I AM SO SORRY IF I HAVENT BEEN VERY ACTIVE, EVERY TEACHERS I HAVE GIVES US 5 HOMEWORK PER TEACHERS

AND TIME ISNT REALLY KEEPING UP WITH ME AT THE MOMENT SO SORRYYYY

BUT PLEASE HAVE THIS ITS A SMALL FLUFF ABOUT THE GABRIELS REACTIONS ON WHY YOU IGNORING THEM ON PURPOSE.

LOVE YALL PLEASE TAKE CARE AND I MISS ALL OF YOU

[maze-of-my-design]

persona fun facts :o? can be from any game!

totally not copy-pasted from dms FUN FACTS BRIGADE (also i cut it in half with a readmore bc its. a lot)

Ann is the tallest girl among the Phantom Thieves, santing at 5'5! (In my head she is taller than Ren but shh)

If you take the thieves to darts, the worst player in the gang is surprisingly not Morgana, but Sumire! Don't ask me how she's worse than a cat!

In P5 (including royal), Ann is the only romance option to directly say "I love you" to the protagonist without cutting herself off* (and, i'm half sure, she's one of the few direct kisses a protagonist receives in a persona game) and honestly? good for them ily ann im so gay for her *Sumire says it too, even before being romanced, but it's not a complete "i love you", per se. She stutters through her confession and Ren has to finish it for her because she's so flustered, which is pretty cute i'll be real but in terms of Saying it, it technically doesn't count.

Sho Minazuki (yknow, the guy from the arena games) was originally meant to be the protagonist for P5! This is massively implied in ending dialogue for the Arena games, as well as how similar the two look if you, like, dye his hair black. Also if you recall the original Femc for P5 with the neon red hair…

Sumire lives with her dad, that much is obvious, but the Royal artbook reveals she also lives with her grandma and her mother!

Among all the non-party-member confidants in P5 (including royal), only 5 find out Ren's identity as a Phantom Thief through something else other than a mementos request. These are Maruki, Yoshida, Sojiro, Mishima, and Sae

The Featherman series is a Power Rangers style anime that airs in the inner universe of the series. Contrary to what the Dancing games make us believe, There's always only 5 Feather soldiers that are part of the main crew: Pink Argus, Red Hawk, Black Condor, Yellow Owl, and Blue Swan. These names, however, are sometimes interchanged between "generations" of the show.

Actually lemme go on a tangent (you asked for fun facts you're GETTING fun facts) There are three generations of the Featherman show to date: OG Featherman (persona 2), Featherman R (Persona 3), and Featherman V (P4 and the Arena games). There's actually a change in the naming semantics every new generation of Featherman. For example, take this excerp from the wiki: "Red Eagle (from Featherman), Feather Hawk (from Featherman R and/or Neo Featherman), Feather Red (from Featherman V)" So in P2, the naming convention is "[Color] [Bird name]", in P3 it's "Feather [bird name]" and in P4 it's "Feather [color]"

Ok tangent over don't ask me how i know so much about a fictional series from a fictional game JSVGEFVR more fun facts

Sumire actually has the biggest amount of portrait sprite variations, since it includes her Kasumi and her Sumire sprites. She deserves it tbh, fashion icon

Another Sumire fact! Did you know Maruki "transformed" sumi into her sister on her birthday? I sure did! Fuck you Maruki!! Uninvited from MY birthday party for sure

Sumire, piror to the third semester, is only ever called by her last name, Yoshizawa, by everyone aside from Ren, Morgana and Futaba. This is a very a subtle way to show something's up with her and i gasped when i first found out about it.

Ok fine enough P5 facts have a P3 fact. It's kinda well known im pretty sure but Makoto Yuki's barrage of official names include, also, Sakuya Shiomi from the stageplay. Sakuya means "blossom" or "bloom". Hey do you recall that he dies in March 5th? yknow, when spring starts? Cherry trees. you get it

Back to P5, Tactica reveals that Haru used to indulge in chopping firewood when she was younger. Her dad didn't like that for her, but he never tried to stop her. This probably leads to her having an Axe as part of her Phantom Thief artillery.

Did you know Fuuka and Futaba actually become friends in the Dancing games? They sadly don't remain friends after losing their memories post-game but Fuuka knew her as Alibaba, and Futaba knew her as Lucia :) I hope they became friends online again

In the jazz jin in Royal, Futaba reveals that the retro console you use to play games was hers, and that she'd sold it to the shop in Yongen. Also apparently the busted laptop you buy there was Haru's! (fact also revealed in the Jazz Jin)

[kijosakka]

dramaturgy; celebrity manhunt, pre-london -- im going to make it easy on myself and skim through pre-london first, as the most divergence in this AU happens during and after the fact. part of pre-london is the pre-season itself, the celebrity manhunt special.

so action comes and goes, noah gets out of the season and remains as chris’ PA for the year break. in that time, months before it actually happens, chris finds out about the new season (with producer word both pushing for ‘more drama/engagement’ or smth along those lines, and *noahs actual involvement this time).

while something something contracts might prevent him from just outright telling noah, i’d imagine that he’d all but say there’s going to be a new season and heavily imply that noah wont be able to get out of it this time. not only that but he also implies that maybe noah should give opening up to people on the show a chance,, cause, yk, hes about to be stuck on a jet with them,, for weeks,,

of course, noah is pissed at first. but in so many weeks or whatever he begrudgingly accepts it and just resolves to throw it like usual. as for the ‘opening up to people’, he lands on owen.

owen was nice enough, genuine to a fault and the person least likely to use any of noahs bare slivers of vulnerability against him. hes safe.

[*noahs involvement within the show as something that the viewers are very interested in. he could be ratings gold and they know it.]

now im a little bit torn over the whole ‘chris’ assistant’ bit; similar to the awakeathon i would imagine it might just be missing entirely and he would be fired before the fact. or it could happen, as a way to give his on-screen character some information. as a ‘look everyone, i have Depth. stop prying into my life please’

either way, whatever. *total drama dirtbags show up, chris locks them out of the venue, they dont win any awards, bus chase etc.

^ note here, per usual noah comes off as his usual uncanny self around the cast. sierra is there as well, im sure thats Something for her. however he does take notice of one (1) alejandro burromuerto, recognizing him and focusing on him. < this comes back during introductions, where he notes his behavior towards the cast.

[*total drama dirtbags existed as the original ‘new TD season’ that noah found out about and worked on for a little bit before he finds out that it was not in fact a real show and a coverup for something else (a grab for an extra contestant for WT) < hence, he knows josé from interviews/auditions he helped with, but doesn’t know alejandro since he decided one brother was Enough]

^ and just for extra clarity on the TDD thing bc ive kind of muddled it, say noah finds out about dirtbags, helps out whatever. and then the news breaks that its a fake phish for a new contestant for an actual show — fine enough, he’s already behind the cameras, so he can just stay there, right?

no, actually. its kinda just slung at him that he has to be part of the cast (smth smth his job is threatened under ‘contractual obligation’ like its not wildly unconscionable). and he is soooo pissed off, so incredibly angry at the circumstances he’s landed himself in somehow.

< but he is aware that he cant just bottle everything up because it will spill over; chris said he needs something to his character, so maybe he can funnel his anger into playing the game a little more. as the most outlet he’ll get before he can throw it and just be done with the show entirely.

^ and then,,, alejandro.

while the actual events of pre-london remain largely unchanged, his dynamics are changed with the presence of four different variables: alejandro, izzy, owen, and sierra.

alejandro i’ll get into more later with a longer post detailing what they think of each other mutually, but im gna touch on alejandro a little; with picking off team victory and believing heather is the only person who’s noticed his facade, he just,, doesnt really distinguish noah as a threat worthy of focusing on.

^ throughout the game and the events of, he does single noah out as the most tolerable of all his teammates but doesnt offer much intrigue beyond that until *new york. (to note, he’s a lot more comfortable with [oblivious to??] noahs detachedness than the rest of the cast since that empty demeanor is p common among whatever diplomatic events hes been a part of)

izzy is someone who’s character i established mostly in the long post i had about her?? but it is worth mentioning now though that she does stick very close by to noah throughout her time on the show, and routinely interacts with him where most of the cast had given up trying altogether.

^ it builds,, a kind of rapport between her and noah?? in some way after the fact he’d recognize it as a nice, ‘i-want-to-know-more-about-you-and-also-befriend-you’ thing, but during he reacts more like a yowling cat tbh. he’s built up this reputation and facade that make people stay away from him, and now izzy wants to stick around him and threaten his defense mechanism? no thanks. (< further reasoning for why he belays insults towards her during WT under the guise of his own facade)

owen is a special case — in the bus chase before the season, noah took the time to sit by him and build up the proper beginnings of a friendship, which owen is thrilled about < during his time on island, owen was really fond of noahs quips and ‘just wished he would open up a bit more!!’,, he thinks some friends would b good for him and hes right

^ and again, owen is noahs safest option to 'endear' himself to the audience with a friend. hes so genuine and understanding of where noahs projected character falls flat, and like izzy keeps interacting and wants to interact with him where the rest of the cast gave up (and noah the person becomes very fond of owen and the reprieve their friendship offers him very quickly)

and finally,,, sierra. i actually want to talk more about the Audience as an entity in this AU in a later post and sierra ties into that heavily. as established, noah is the one cast member she just doesn't know anything about. of each blog she runs dedicated to each member of the show, his is the emptiest; the most baseless. being in proximity with the man of mystery is exciting!

^ noah still comes off as very uncanny valley to sierra and his detachedness is immediately clear. but the key difference to her and and cast is that she has the Audience perspective --- he's intriguing moreso than offputting. (and also theres definitely Something there about the meta-analysis of panopticon as an in-universe topic and how sierra would relate/connect that once it becomes clear to the cast why noah acts as he does)

[*new york (same time space as the aftermath?) as the moment when sierra prattles off information about the cast but comes up with nothing on noah that his own interest is piqued just a liitle bit, and he starts building a proper relationship up with noah as the straightmen to the cast. < also come after london is something he looks back on as a Hmm. moment wondering what noah knows about himself.

^ alejandro does believe their rapport is one-sided bc of his own facade, which i want to mention simply bc he's wrong. it is no-sided. both of them r faking.]

now getting to the episodes themselves -- minor changes/additions:

in the yukon, he doesn't try to cuddle bridgette

^ also in the yukon, he shivers less visibly than the cast (think when in cold weather you get those microtremors that really fucking hurt after a few seconds). this is only because it feeds into the android joke-turned-conspiracy for the folks watching on the aftermath set

in new york, he was not actually asleep in the carriage nor did he explicitly pretend to be. he just Kept Quiet when heather did her thing

in germany, he doesn't go up to alejandro when he falls off the platform, but he does prompt owen to ask something along a similar line [to his canon ones]

in the amazon, he's the one to point out owens absence

in paris, the line of 'this totally works on my dog' he changes to smth like 'totally works on dogs',, for his own exercise of privacy really

in the space of the jamaica aftermath, he again disappears from the rest of the cast à la playa des losers save for owen. owen gets a hello during mealtimes and hes the only one.

and finally, the episodes of 'significant' development with noahs intrigue in alejandro:

beginning before any real events of the show during introductions

^ kicked off in germany similarly to canon, emphasized by newfoundland and the grab for DJ's alliance

and cemented completely [his interest in unmasking him] in jamaica, continuing onward with london around when he discovers that alejandro is acting skittery towards him because of his own suspicions

[night-dark-woods]

ok Exordia review time (not spoiler free!) since i finished it a few days ago. this is long and rambling and unedited.

4/5 i love Seth's writing and im glad they got to play with scifi again BUT i think they needed a better editor OR to split it more cleanly into sections- in one of the interviews they said it was originally a series of novellas each from a single POV, and i think the constraint of that would have made it a much tighter story.

one of the best things about their Destiny lore is how much they do with so little- thinking of this section from the Beyond Light CE:

Disaster at the worksite. Clearly we will not be moving Clarity Control like we did the K1 artifact. It reacted violently to the attempt. I have entered 19 casualties into the log, since 19 engineers from the Hannu team were caught in its reaction...though there were many more than 19 bodies when it was finished. I have sequestered the recordings. Especially the sensorium telemetry. Quite upsetting. Yet I do not believe it was an act of hostility. Even this outburst carried themes of duplication...as if Clarity Control wanted to show it could help me.

which i was originally thinking of as a first run at Blackbird, but i think these may have been simultaneous? i'm not actually sure. i know Exordia was started after the first Baru book was published, but i'm not sure how much lead time there is for the CEs.

or the clarity of Unveiling compared to a lot of what felt like similar ideas that took much longer to get thru in Exordia. primes. pink noise. math. alright lets fucking gooo oh wait. five more pages of ethics first. okay sure i'll do that for ya Seth bc i love your prose. which also. a) conway game of life mentioned!!! b) this part from Exordia made me LOSE MY MIND:

But that was impossible. The whole universe came from the same source: the same designers. I was part of one of them. If I could only remember... We were arguing, I think. Or maybe we were the argument, because gods cannot do things, they can only be them. We were in contest over the morality of infinities: the cardinality of all possible souls measured against the mere infinity of souls to ever be born...

(this is the part from Unveiling, for the optimistically two people who will read this who haven't read Destiny lore):

Once upon a time,* a gardener and a winnower lived** together in a garden.*** * It was once before a time, because time had not yet begun. ** We did not live. We existed as principles of ontological dynamics that emerged from mathematical structures, as bodiless and inevitable as the primes. *** It was the field of possibility that prefigured existence. They existed, because they had to exist. They had no antecedent and no constituents, and there is no instrument of causality by which they could be portioned into components and assigned to some schematic of their origin. If you followed the umbilical of history in search of some ultimate atavistic embryo that became them, you would end your journey marooned here in this garden.

at the same time, idk what i would remove- at very few points was i reading something that dragged, with the exception of spending a LOT of time with Erik and Clayton in the middle (this is when i put the book down for a month and a half or so). and i know so many people were like sickos.jpg about them However their dynamic did sooo little for me and i don't think Rosamaria was given enough time on the page (and i think having her Be the ship was weird- i recognize that Blackbird needs to have a voice to make the plot go, but i don't think this was the best or neatest way to do it, and collapsed a lot of what i found fundamentally so interesting about Blackbird into something akin to a standard scifi Ship AI).

again i think the restriction of each section of the story being from a single POV might have been the restriction needed to end up with a tighter story- at no point were the multiple plot threads & POVs confusing, per say, but i'm not sure what the structure did for the story bc we could switch to whoever could tell us the most about what was happening whenever convenient, instead of having to piece things together from a limited POV. i'm thinking again of the BLCE, this time the part where Clovis is talking about Maya Sundaresh behaving erratically- i'm no Ishtar group expert but i believe we are supposed to put together that these are all different iterations of her from within the garden). oh- i also wonder if Aixue and Chaya are another run at Maya and Chioma to some degree...

anyway. i also think i am also less the target audience for this book because seth loooves their trolley problems and i simply do not have the patience for it! i loved the hard scifi and the first contact aspects and the character work (Seth's character work is, as always, spectacular. their characters always feel deeply real and flawed in very human ways, while still being exaggerated in the ways characters have to be to function as plot fulcrums), but this isnt something like Baru where i can be like yes you should read this to everyone i talk to.

I think the language in the book is DELIGHTFUL, as always, especially how Seth plays with the idea of an alien translator that sometimes can get an English equivalent to something and sometimes can't! i think that's very fun. because it's on my mind bc ive been listening to the Shelved by Genre episodes on it, it makes me think of Book of the New Sun, and how the "translator" figure of G.W. talks about picking words that are close but they aren't being used like we would use them now- e.g. "metal" in BotNS isnt the same thing we think of as metal! its used more broadly! but its close enough in purpose and point to work just fine. the destriers have horns. i need to know if Seth has read these books.

but back to Exordia. here are some specific prose parts i fucking loved.

this part of the full-page loving, detailed, and technical description of 40 alien nukes detonating in atmosphere:

In the band of thickening atmosphere twenty-five to thirty-five kilometers above the Earth, these gamma rays slam into atoms of oxygen and nitrogen, stripping their orbiting electrons. The orphaned electrons hurtle away at 90 percent of lightspeed. They want to go in a straight line, but hold on now, it's not so easy to leave home. Earth's magnetic field bends their course. They begin to spiral down. When an electron moving near lightspeed has to turn, it emits synchrotron radiation. Poison light. And beneath each bomb there are 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 electrons swerving at once. The result is a blast of electromagnetic noise. No: not noise. A coherent pulse, spiking and faling in harmony. Shiva's own beat drop on electrical civilization. An EMP.

This part. i love Anna and wish we got more of her.

He gives her back her Glock. She accepts it with resignation. "You'd better get your men ready," she says. "It's going to be bad." "Women too," he says, trying for lightness. "The pilot's a woman. We've got a female forward surgeon, a psyops lead, a linguist- she's pretty badass, ran with SEALs in Afghanistan. And Lt. Gainer, she might have some advice for-" "For what?" Anna says calmly. "Advice for what, Erik? How to get killed in a feminine way?"

Seth has such a good and specific way of writing metaphors. a little bit Douglas Adams:

The upshot is: the air around the engine exhaust beam explodes outward with a sound like a tuning fork hit by a Space Shuttle launch. Lung-jellying power. Anything in the beam path suffers the short, severe influence of a needle faster and hotter than a vajra thunderbolt. Anything around the beam eats fireball.

& this part. again. i wish more of the book was Anna and Ssrin's fucked up kismessitude. or whatever.

She slides the barrel of the weapon into the uppermost crater on Ssrin's spine. Slick pain makes Ssrin hiss in psuvoluntary fury: psuvoluntary because it is reflex subject to veto- she could quash it, but the feeling is deliciously wrong, and it is so good to bare her fangs and to unleash that ancient khai instinct of pain-as-motivation. "Questionsss," Ssrin gasps. "I want to know how this story ends." Oh serendura. You'll wish you hadn't asked. You'll wish you'd gone in with your eyes shut and your tongue in your throat so you couldn't smell the poison til it was too late.

which also!!! that's something i love about the Ssrin POV like. Seth is always good at writing aliens and slipping in details that tell us about them. "tongue in your throat" to not smell the poison bc she is a snake alien and smells with her tongue!!! that rules!!!

[alitgblog]

ok thoughts for volume IV bc I actually enjoyed it a lot lol

also I'm currently on a Jin route (i might switch to claudia i have not decided) so that's important context lol

I Spy was an interesting concept for a game but if i can nitpick here, it felt much more like a firepit game than a challenge and that would be nice to have some variety since last week was the Heartbreaker thing and next week we have Excess Baggage.

For whatever reason I can't remember the format of the show rn but I think if the game is gonna continue with doing about a day more or less per volume, it should be like the show where there is at least one or two major events being either dates (where couples are either all in the same area, one couple goes out of the villa, or there's bombshells involved), challenges (where they go out onto the stage and do some physical challenge), or parties (which can include games). And right now I feel like we're getting three challenges in a row and I'd rather we change it up. But that's besides the point

anyway i believed Jack when he said his secret wasn't supposed to cause drama but I did not believe Theo at all and the fact that we got to tell him that later? Great choice. (and also so in character for MC to tell him off and him to just continue pretending like she didn't say that)

Also very flirty moments with Claudia is what is making this Jin route so hard. she's very forward and the fact that you can pursue her so soon is great actually. I thought maybe she and theo would share a slow burn route but it seems like it might be just Theo (or that you can't officially couple up with her later but apparently you can kiss her and go to the hideaway and stuff so that's cool).

I'm always hoping for non MC centered drama and we got it (but also there WAS MC centered drama too so that's even better)

I love to have a character to hate/dislike, so thank you so much Sophie and Jack. I can't imagine what it would be like with Luna and Jin though because they seem way more chill whereas I can see Sophie (a PERFORMER) doing all that and Jack (self proclaimed romantic) also just doing stuff to fit with Sophie.

And honestly still having residual feelings from the previous episode works. Like, yes to the Jack and Emel kiss (at least from Jack's POV about being insecure about Sophie,,, I'm not so sure about Emel but as someone who played it flirting with Oakley up until the end of Vol II and knowing Emel wants a romantic guy like Jack, I will let it slide). I kinda wish it implied more that Jin rejected Sophie so that's why she didn't pick him at the last recoupling so she's still hurt and still antagonizing MC and Jin for that reason. Otherwise it's just like, why are they still mad though?

Emel and Oakley are so cute. I also kept wishing after S5 and S6 that we got more strong couples in the game and I'm very glad they seem happy and if anything happens to them I'm gonna be so upset.

And tbh Jack and Sophie making it work is so nice too. Even though I think they're gonna keep having a lot of drama, it's entertaining and it's also great to have a couple that's probably gonna get dumped or split up at some point (and you know they're not gonna make it on the outside).

I don't care for Brad and Christy at all but why is that option 29 gems?? Like even asking for drama about the Islanders currently in the Villa is 17 gems (which I still don't think should be behind a pay wall but it feels like that one might be more relevant).

I do like that Jack is trying to be sweet to Sophie because even though he has also been an asshole to MC and her couple, he's still a possible route for if you replay, so that's nice they're not making the other LI's unappealing like in S6 (...yet???? im not giving fusebox the all clear yet)

I hate that Jack called his apology thing a game, I wish he just gathered everyone at the firepit and did the same thing but not called it a compliment game.

in the same vein, why did he invent the chemistry game because that feels like they should've gotten a text about that and then the next text about voting for the couple with the strongest chemistry to go into the hideaway would make more sense.

regardless, I really liked Jack's compliment to MC because that's how I've been playing this character and the fact he pointed it out, I feel like she'd love that. Also everyone else's compliments were fun too except maybe Sophie's which is funny.

And then he tried to make a joke at the end which was bold, but then I found out it might have been Jin's fault which is far more in character but again I don't know how well that would play out if I was playing a different route.

Also you can cheekily ask Oakley how he felt about Jack's joke about Emel being the best kisser in front of everyone and you best believe I did that

Then everything seems fine until the chemistry game and then suddenly Sophie, Jack, Emel, and Oakley are doing fine and everyone else is not and I love that turn in drama. Again, can't speak for a Theo route but the way suddenly Claudia is in between Jin and MC is crazy and Jin has a somewhat reasonable response (considering that fusebox wanted to give you space to go to the hideaway with Claudia). he probably forgave MC too fast imo but that's on me for playing the messy route.

Also Claudia's response after hearing Jin and MC are going to the hideaway together instead of her and MC is so good. Like she does convey she's disappointed but understands, and MC says there's still time for them, and Claudia's response is like it would blow your mind like we gotta give Jin a fighting chance, and I love that. also bc I'm indecisive so I'm glad her routes not closed yet.

as much as I like the drama, Tyler did not make a big splash so it does feel like we just got drama four volumes in a row, so I'm kind of hoping we get a bombshell mid challenge. Unfortunately, it's the excess baggage challenge, which I do like and I think we're due for this challenge to show up, but a bombshell showing up mid excess baggage challenge is literally what happens in S3 so I don't think I'm right.

I already posted my little joke about the Hideaway scene but yeah it's so much better than it's been recently. And like it looks like there's a few more options to change up the scene/dialogue so that's good they put effort into small stuff like that

and I'm not advocating for them hiding scenes behind a pay wall (like I rather them put these expensive gem choices behind drama I don't care about, that's fine) but like if there was ever a time to have a pay to win part of the game I would've made it this and not the kissing challenge. HEAR ME OUT: so it's like an early in the game hideaway first of all, technically you've known each other for like four days and if it comes up again for free, i wouldnt even miss it. Second, it kinda dismisses the drama that JUST happened. Like, either Theo or Claudia have just blown up their strong couple to pursue MC and their LI doesn't do anything? And the other couples vote for them anyway? Like get rid of the gem choice early on for MC and Jin to prove their chemistry and have them stumble anyway. Then after the Claudia/Theo confession, the gem choice is MC announces she wants another shot and because Sophie, Jack, and Emel like her for solving their drama they agree. And then MC can choose her second try with Theo, Claudia, or her LI. And then still has the chat later with her LI and then you win with whoever you pick (or I guess if you pick Theo then you don't bc I guess it's the slow burn route. Maybe you get a chat with him on the daybeds or SOMETHING lol). And third, Jack did this whole campaign to get him and Sophie to a stronger place so like there was a perfect backup couple right there.

and also some non volume specific thoughts:

I'm kind of excited to replay and like couple with Jack or Oakley at this point because I'm curious if the dialogue is much different. I really like Jin's dialogue and it fits his character, so I'm wondering how much of it is copy paste (but most people here are also on a Jin route so I can't cross reference damn).

also I would've reordered the past couple of episodes so that like Luna and Tyler would stay for longer and have a bigger impact but I don't need to make this long post even longer so maybe I'll post it some other time

still don't know why it's called tempting fate but if we're returning to the non themed seasons I'm not complaining

[caffstrink]

I like your Karna and Arjuna comics a lot! They’re very funny, and I like your art a lot. I did notice your tags about Karna’s skin color though — they didn’t really take Karna’s melanin away in Fate’s depiction of him. In all the all the Mahabharata art I’ve seen (which, to be fair, isn’t everything) Karna is the palest guy in the room, to signify that his face ‘shines like the sun’, which is how he’s often described in the Mahabarata. Fate’s pretty awful about whitewashing, but Karna is the one case where it’s in-line with most depictions of him, and there’s actually a textual reason for his appearance.

I’m sorry if this was annoying at all! It’s just a bit of trivia I enjoy, and while the accusations of white-washing are understandable considering the source material (where it’s usually just true, lol) it’s always a bit sad to me when Pako gets accused of that for a choice that was pretty well researched.

Oh hi! Thank you, im glad you like my comics!

I havent read the mahabarata yet, (planning to, but i have very little free time now) so i really do admit my ignorance regarding descriptions in the original text.

As far as im aware, pako wasn't the one 100% responsible for karna, since he was originally created by kinoko nasu for a previous game entry so its possible there were pointers regarding the final design, so I'm not placing all the blame on pako here, (specially considering his design entries are still on the tasteful side and well researched compared to others ive seen in fgo that felt like looking at a hate crime) and overall im not sure about the company's policy on artistic freedom when it comes to the final designs.

Its not really in my place to say it or not since I'm not indian so maybe im completely off, but his design looks more like a rpg fantasy character than something reminescent of the source material/time period he was from, but the same could be said about characters like gilgamesh and some others i guess. I understand a lot of cuts are made in favor of making characters more appealing and marketable to your audience, but karna being albino white + showing no ethnic/cultural features in his design is mainly what bugs me i guess.

Either way i don't dislike karna's design per se, firsr because it looks VERY similar to a character i love from an old game (second because its about time we get a male character wearing some stupid golden underwear armor and spandex, we believe in equality here), but because he just sticks out like a sore thumb compared to his canon legend imo, and feels like just another white/light skinned addition to the indian servant roster and idk, i feel like its just a recurring problem. I guess i wouldnt really have an issue about his skin tone if the game wasn't already so full to the brim with whitewashed characters, so it ends up smelling fishy to me.

(Also couldn't his skin shine like the sun if it was tan? Not a jab at what youve said, this is just a personal addition, but pale white skin wouldn't be the immediate connection id make from that sentence alone, but thats just me. In my mind at least i picture a skin tone like duryodhana's.)

[aowyn]

tag game!

TAG SOMEONE YOU WANT TO KNOW AND/OR SOME OF YOUR BESTIES

tagged by the lovely @emilhe! thank you for tagging me! <3 <3 <3

Favorite color: pink!!! like a warm pastel pink

Last song: i have been playing the hades soundtrack on loop all day and right now mouth of styx is playing!

Last movie: i have no idea honestly. OH actually i watched the red white and royal blue movie again a few days ago bc it gives me modern au merthur feelings

Currently watching: nothing lol. too many projects to work on first!

Other stuff I watched this year: over the garden wall (naturally), star trek strange new worlds season 1, ofmd season 2, gomens season 2, one piece live action, probably some other things i cant remember

Shows I dropped this year: none i can think of? castlevania i started but it's on hold not dropped!

Currently reading: i have 30 unread books on my nightstand and they haunt me every day. i am in the middle of dracula bc of dracula daily, lotr bc of lotr newsletter. i am in the middle of green mars (mars trilogy) and fingersmith by sarah waters but i haven't picked them up in a while because i decided to read the entire mistborn trilogy instead, which i finished

Currently listening to: hades soundtrack as per question 2 but earlier today i was listening to danger days by mcr!

Currently working on: kelsier mistborn cosplay! is the biggest project. but im also working on recording cassettes to play in my car bc my car is from 1998 and doesn't even have a cd player. im sure im working on other projects too but the craft table is a disaster right now so i can't remember

Current obsession/s: there are a great many things im highly interested in right now but none of them quite feel like hyperfixations unfortunately. you will know when i have a new hyperfixation because i will reblog so many things about whatever it is. some things that im interested in right now are cosmere, homestuck, good omens, ofmd!

i tag @minamiren @morluin @totallythejiffybot @bishops--knifetrick @andreth-with-a-sword @child-of-the-fairy-folk @aredhels @garden-holic @gayjaytodd @feanor @cerealbastard @leaves-of-teas @rose-ncrantz @maebird-melody @celebrimbooooor feel free to do or not do this tag game <3

[stride-here]

Alright here me out.

A shazam/captain marvel rpg oneshot.

Ok so this idea was based on a post I saw which was Billy trying to explain his powers in dnd terms which got me thinking about how fun it would be to play a Shazam based dnd esc game.

I have a few ideas for how I’d write the storyline but no idea on the stats or game system I would use.

—Stats n stuff—

I was thinking about how maybe stats of the gods could possibly line up with character stat sheets. Yknow how each shazamily family member has a specific god power associated with them? Like how Darla is speed and Pedro is strength, etc. Those could align with dexterity and strength stats or something. Im sure there are probably some better ways to execute that but you get the idea.

Of course this would be completely dependent on the game I’m using. I was thinking just using dnd 5e (I think thats the regular dnd but Im not sure anymore) or Masks which was made for superhero rpg. However Im scared of using dnd since it can be pretty rule heavy and not very flexible. Masks was made specifically for superhero rpgs but it also costs quite a bit of money. If anyone has any ideas for what I should use I beg you comment them.

—Story—

The story will mostly just be me stealing ideas and lore from various different versions of Shazam, however mainly stealing from the 90’s, The Power of Shazam!, The Golden Age Comics/Whiz Comic, and The New Champion of Shazam series.

This is because these stories mainly just focus on Billy, Mary, and Freddy which I think would be easier to incorporate into the plot rather than having to juggle all 6 shazamily members at once (also it’d be hell to voice act/play as all of them as the gm)

I also don’t want my players to be forced to play preexisting characters (the shazamily or other DC heroes) so that they don’t feel like they have to fit into their roles yknow? And obviously so they just generally have more freedom with character design. So they will all play completely new characters of their liking.

The players will all play child/teen/possibly young adult characters who either a.) have no idea who each other are. Or b.) are in a foster home together already. The latter is probably the better option though because then there’ll be no need for a “you all are in a tavern…” type opening.

Later on they all get teleported to the Rock of Eternity and are told that the wizard is desperate and need them to help stop his last champion (who they probably will assume is Black Adam but is actually the end boss which I reveal later in this post)

They will all get the Shazam powers however I’ll randomize which specific one each of them get (like one of them is like Darla with superspeed or another is like eugene with his stronger lighting). They aren’t as strong as the other champion though because they all share the power like in the Power of Shazam and The New Champion of Shazam. This is honestly just applied so my players aren’t absolutely stacked though and for plot sake.

Also the Wizard dies since he had given the very last bit of his powers to the players. Also the wizard dies in like half the canon stories anyways so there’s that.

Some fight ensues soon after they get their powers mostly so the players can get a handle of their abilities and so suddenly Mary can show and help them defeat the opponent.

This leads to the introduction of Mary who is probably shocked to see new champions. As it turns out Billy/Cap has gone missing alongside Freddy/Cap Jr and she needs the players help to find them.

As for the middle section of the plot…Im still thinking about it. I know there will be some magical mythological creatures to fight though! And maybe I’ll take my players to Hell just for fun since Billy has a weird habit of going there in the comics.

As for the big bad guy final boss…Its Billy! Er I guess I should say Captain Marvel. However he is under the control of Mr. Mind, who wants to take over the world as per usual. However he realizes that Captain Marvel is sharing power with the players alongside Mary and Freddy. This leads him to attempt the kill them all as a way to regain Captain Marvels to his full power and therefore being way more adapt for taking over the world. So far he has managed to capture Freddy and is what he used to lure them into battle in the first place.

Fighting alongside him is Tawny. This version of Tawny is basically just a very large tiger imbued with magic and with the power to talk rather than being anthropomorphic. Tawny in this universe also acts more like a familiar to Cap and is summoned through his magic. However since Cap is under the control of Mr. Mind, the magic he uses to summon him is also under the control if that makes sense.

The players fight cap and depending how they do in battle will be able to free Cap. Or not. Haven’t planned the bad ending out out yet.

——

Thats all I have so far, man I didn’t realize how long this had gotten…

If anyone has any ideas for the plot and especially how I should execute this oneshot I BEG you comment them.

Lastly if you read all of this thanks for listening to my rambling, it felt nice to get the idea out.

Have a great day! ❤️

[replicasoul]

1, 2, 8, 9, 13, 14, 18, 19!!! :3333 wuf. wuf

pale trying to kill me as per usual ok lemme see

1. who was the first alter? who was the most recently formed? im not sure how much we like.. Work, like that? like for a huge portion of our life we didnt realize that a LOT of us were switching around really Really often without realizing it. we have definitely Noticed some ppl more recently than others, but that doesnt mean they werent already there and doing things but just hadnt realized 'oh im a different person than [x]' if we're talking earliest that we can remember? probably Carina or X0. latest would probably be Fetch 2. what do you all have in common? is there something you like to do together? a good chunk of us all like to write, which helps when thats also an activity we end up doing together a lot. we all have our preferences for characters, settings, etc. but its usually something thats more fun Together than separate 8. are there certain alters who excel at certain things? who, and at what? althea is rly good (as in Not As Terrible as anyone else whos tried) at Hollow Knight and nobody knows why; usually we're terrible at 2D stuff. TV tends to be good at planning out creative projects as well as like, doing repetitive tasks (like at work and such). im (X0) pretty decent at keeping up w/ more involved conversations w/ strangers/coworkers/acquaintances/etc. carina is usually super polite in convos so is usually better at talking to like... older folks or ppl in public who are upset about something; its also pretty good at analyzing things idk, i could go on but thats plenty 9. do you have any awkward stories about cofronting? ooh,,, share cofronting is Always weird with conversations, bc the way we talk can switch just, constantly as different ppl are talking. its not usually noticeable over text if ppl dont know us, but it can make things Awkward in person, especially if we're too exhausted to keep up appearances at that time 13. what makes each alter laugh? tbh i feel like this and some of the other questions require a better awareness of which of us is fronting (at any given time) than we actually have. like i Know theres Differences, i know its easier to get a laugh out of me than it is with Althea, for instance. but as far as knowing what Content does it for which system member? idfk 14. storytime! share your favorite memories of the system see this kinda stuff is mostly like. Private. but uh. trying to figure out althea's potential fursona species was a Time (its still kinda up in the air but it landing on shiba inu was VERY unexpected) us singing along to Classic J Dies And Goes To Hell Part 1 in the care w/ seth is one that comes to mind rn and i think just. Writing Together makes up a big portion of the best experiences we have together 18. what shows do you watch? are there any that you all love? what about some you hate? oh god too many. when youre collectively laid the fuck up bc of nerve pain and All you can do like 60% of the time is watch shows n movies, we end up doin that way Way more often than we'd like. i know Beef and Scavengers Reign have been recent favs for us. Carina's been watchin the new pokemon show (its ok), and i think Althea + TV were the ones who watched Severance first?? idr tho we dont tend to differentiate System Member-Specific Activities a lot of the time, we just kinda do w/e with whoever happens to be fronting there are definitely exceptions but its usually like. Games, or writing. like Althea playing hollow knight. someone else was also doing Killer7 but i forget who 19. is there anything or anyone you all share equal distaste for? salt + vinegar potato chips?? i dont know, im sure theres Plenty of things we dislike if youre counting like... All Things That Exist

[sirenofthegreenbanks]

3, 16 and 20 for loving fandom asks! 😊

3. a character that fandom has helped u appreciate

wen kexing from the novels!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also zzs from the novels and zzs from the show and wkx from the show but this isnt!!! about them!!!

16. a tiny detail in canon that u want more people to appreciate

we talked about this before but i really like how rise of phoenixes handles the crossdressing trope. quippe quest mentions this in their videos at some point i think; feng zhiwei is allowed to actually look like a man when she dresses up as a man, and the additional layer her crossdressing shenanigans add to the exploration of her arc that ends in her being completely stripped from all she has at the beginning (agency, autonomy, freedom, value) is all the more gutpunching. i look at her being all unrestrained (as a person) when she dresses up, moving around freely and doing what she wants (as per her nature), and then i look at who she is forced to become once the emperor finds out about it and it gets public. its honestly horrible, like a horror movie (feng zhiwei fmv horror edit?). so the maturity and nuance with which they approach and utilize it is smth i wish would be talked about more, if only because its so dear to me personally and i think everyone should talk about it all the time

,,,, ,,, actually this probably doesnt really count as a tiny detail //w// , ,, i thought of it because theyre so casual with it in canon!!! though feng zhiwei‘s ~real gender~TM is a plot point, the show doesnt really make a fuss around the crossdressing in itself (compared to how other stories usually handle it). so i thought of it as tiny and a detail even though its not really tiny, and its more the attention to detail that i would like for everyone to appreciate forever.

HERE IS AN ALTERNATIVE ANSWER: zhiwei‘s long ass hair that she takes down at the end of the forst day at the academy when sits in the window just before going to bed . everyone is talking about ning yi‘s hair but!!!! what about hers!!!!! its literally right there!!!! its such a beautiful scene, she looks so good. and i think its the only time she ever takes down her hair where we see it right? right? it doesnt happen at all at any other point :) surely :). so beautiful when u can take down your hair of your own volution in a world where taking your hair down signifies vulnerability and can unmask you as a woman! :) :):):) great scene where zhiwei is in full control of her fate and pursues her happiness and taking her hair down in the privacy of her room, with only gu nanyi to see, is such a big show of trust (in him) and faith (in her future) :) im fine why do u ask

20. your very first fandom

oh this is a mean pick!!!!!! me having like a hole in my head etc!!!!! but one of my earliest beloveds media that i could count as me entering a fandom of any kind is the donald duck franchise. dont really have a better name for it. i could call it the Mickey Mouse Franchise but that would be A Lie. mickey mouse has nothing to do with it at all! i had fan magazines and would dress up as phantomias and would spent time reading comics with my friends and brother and i would annoy literal strangers into lending me their comics if i so much as sniffed out that they had a collection at home. i also drew and wrote fanart and fanfic, though i never finished anything, my aspirations were too high for my fragile constitution also known as patience and stamina TvT. smth thats STILL a problem tbh. i cant write short stuff yet keeping it up for so long is Hard. anywhomst. i remember looking at the pictures before i learned to read and making up the story in my head so this being my first fandom might not be that far off!!!!!!

beloveds fandom asks game

[rise-my-angel]

Heart of the Great Wolf got me SOBBING bro, your writing is immaculate 🫡🙏🏼

PRAISE MAKES ME ANXIOUS

Do you like read more cus I put a read more on this one cus as per usual my response turned into this:

I am deadass so nervous because I am like 15 chapters written in advance right now, so everyone's being so kind about chapters I wrote like over a month ago and now I'm so nervously rereading my new ones worried they'll be disappointing.

What was essentially the Robb era of hotgw has come to an end, and we're about to enter the Jon era and a lot of my favourite parts of this series are in these next unreleased chapters. A lot of set up in the first 15 chapters has been building up to so much of what's going to start playing out and I can't help but feel nervous everytime yall are so nice. Because now I'm entering that prime era of:

"Remember when Game of Thrones was really good then it started going downhill and everyone ended up hating it?"

Now I'm looking at what is much more going to be more original not show/book dependent content and I'm like: WHAT IF THEY HATE IT WHAT IF IM JUST AS A DISASTER AS SEASON FUCKING 7.

Also I mean kudos to yall still sticking with it because this fucking series is so long. I just finished chapter 30 on Monday and I still am on what would be the plot equivalent of early season 7. I still haven't actually gotten to fucking winter yet. (Which to be fair plays out a lot different then the show so it's not going to be even comparable)

And the Jon era of the series starts having more flashbacks and other povs (granted typically those chapters are longer to make up for it), and a lot of scenes are what I call classic season 1-4 GoT scenes which are mostly just quiet dialouge that doesnt necessarily move the plot forward but are necessary for character development, world building, and narrative themes and foreshadowing.

That and I'm in the era of "Jon was fucking abysmally mistreated and miserable in the show by this point" so my Jon frame of reference is so skewed by bad characterization I'm worried he comes off as out of character. Whereas other characters I'm immensely proud of my work such as my character work for Theon Greyjoy, Selyse Baratheon, and Olly specifically. I really love the work I put into what I think was really bad late show (season 5 fof Selyse, season 6 for Olly, and season 6 - 8 for Theon) and yet I'm also finding writing Jon to come so naturally to me yet I'm worried I somehow will do worse then..

Also I start really cementing certain positions I hold now, especially in regards to hot topics such as my opinions about Jon being a rape victim of Ygritte, my opinions on the subject of dragons and Targaryean restoration, stuff about Robert's Rebellion I've purposely ignored, and I start including a very specific book plot ignored by the show and can only hope show only or show preferring fans will not get taken out of it for those plots being used instead of certain show ones.

I'm just really passionate about asoiaf and early Game of Thrones I always have been and finding the motivation to write 30 chapters of like an average of 11k each for a fic is insane to me and its baffling anyone still reads it let alone likes it.

But it's my favorite series I've ever done, I think about it pretty much non stop, all day everyday. If I'm not writing I am actively outlining and brainstorming and rewatching and re reading the show and books to make sure I have a grasp in this world and its characters in a fair manner. asoiaf/GoT was one of the biggest influences on my musing influences and direction as a fiction writer. It has always been more special to me then I've talked about (mostly because during its prime peak I was in high school and college and was not terribly active in fandom due to work load) and then when I got back into it it was after the final season and all anyone wanted to talk about was how bad it got. I look at the final 3 and a half (I think season 5 is mostly bad but Castle Black is a great storyline right up until the comedy that is dumb and dumber just ending the Baratheon storyline for good cus it was between writing Euron "Bick Cock" Finger in the Bum, or writing a real storyline for one of your moat interesting morally grey characters that was post blackwater Stannis) but I like figuring out why it's bad and where it could have taken those ideas to make them work and a lot of that meta became aspects of hotgw, and its essentially an extension of what I love about this series regardless of the bad.

This went on for a long time for no reason, JUST LIKE MY HOTGW CHAPTER LENGTHS-