#but also agatha is the kind of person who never has just one reason for doing anything

[iamdeltas]

#agatha is just so interesting to me because she really can justify anything to herself but you still see in small moments like this how it#hurts her to do so but she does and then she just moves on because she /has/ to because she can't dwell on it#she'd be drown from the onslaught of all she's done if she allowed herself to falter on just one thing#she has to be decisive. she has to be callous. because she can't afford to stop or look back#i also don't think agatha truly wanted to bring jen into this either#i know some ppl are thinking she purposefully bound but i truly believe she didn't know or realize who was going to be effected by it#or even after who /had/ been effected by it. i think agatha wasn't actually lying when she said that she chose to leave jen alone#I do think it didn’t give her as much of a pause as sharon and alice did because the reasons she left jen alone hasn’t been for a century#I honestly think the easiest person for her to drag into this was Lilia and then Lilia also ends up being the first she shows kindness too#and honestly that scene was so good because I think she would have shown kindness to her either way because Agatha knows death#she knows grief and how the pain lingers and burrows into your very bones#so I think no matter what she probably would’ve had the same reaction#but I also just wonder if Lilia’s comment of ‘try to save Agatha’ effected her as well#because I think Agatha gets what Lilia’s deal is or at least has an idea. and while she did pause for a second. she played it off quickly#but I wonder if that did really hit her#because Agatha is a witch killer. she has this power that she can’t totally fully control that takes and takes and she’s never once been#thought in her life to be good or kind or anything like that (except by Nicky or Rio) and it’s clear when she was with Nicky they needed to#take from the witches to hide from death to allow Nicky to live and Agatha cannot take without killing#if the witches knew what she was/how her power worked/how Nicky survived they would be killed just like her mother’s coven tried to do#no one would be willing to risk teaching her to risk sheltering them if they knew#she knows that firsthand and anyone who knows anything about Agatha Harkness would rather see her dead#and then Lilia comes in. Lilia who read her immediately. who /knows/ who she is. she says to try to save /agatha/#I don’t think Agatha would allow herself to fully believe it (which is smart because that’s not actually what she was saying)#but god. I bet that stuck with her (via @roots-symphony)

I was going through the scene where the other witches arrived in Agatha's home. And I noticed something when Alice arrived:

Agatha actually didn't look happy.

Agatha didn't think Alice would arrive—she knew what she planned to do—and she didn't think they would open the Road. Agatha was more than okay that Alice wouldn't join but Alice still arrived.

And then when she was going to recruit Sharon, Agatha paused and closed her eyes.

I thought Agatha was just gathering strength because she was not as social as she presented. But now I realize Agatha was also trying to make peace with what she was about to do.

Agatha doesn't have regrets, but that doesn't mean they don't get to her sometimes. Also, she's had three years off from killing, and even though she doesn't remember that time fully, it was still a break from her usual.

This is why she was blasé about Sharon Davis's death, she knew one way or another she was dragging poor Sharon to her doom. This was the split second beat where Agatha makes peace with the idea that she could live with this choice.

[livinglaughinglove]

I keep thinking about the fact that as soon as Rio appears to Agatha in the forest, we see the exact moment their century-long love affair comes to an end. Like as soon as Agatha says 'if you do this, I will hate you forever', that's it. Agatha knows it. Rio absolutely knew what would happen going into it. It's done.

So Rio does the only thing she can and delays, gives them all a little more time in limbo (and I have a lot of thoughts about how much Rio pushes that envelope throughout the series - Rio, at pretty much every turn, gives Agatha more time).

But then they're stuck. Forced into a macabre tragedy, and all they can do is wait. 'I will hate you forever' - but not quite now, not quite yet. 'IF you do this' - but what happens to those feelings when you're waiting for that 'if' to become 'when'?

Not a grace period, never that - neither of them are gentle enough for something so kind. But a slow and inevitable decay of a love that was precious, once.

And so the cycle turns once more from life to Death.

[goodnightmemes]

AGATHA ALL ALONG SENTENCE STARTERS

❛ You don't seem like yourself. ❜

❛ If you wanna be in control, you can be. ❜

❛ Is this really how you see yourself? ❜

❛ Do you remember why you hate me? ❜

❛ The things that you're roasting me for are the things that make me dangerous. ❜

❛ How long have I been here? ❜

❛ Call me "nosy," I'll cut out your tongue. ❜

❛ Can you put on some clothes? 'Cause you... 'Cause you're naked. ❜

❛ Do you remember pain? It kind of tickles, doesn't it? ❜

❛ Maybe I can't kill you, but I can make you wish you were dead. ❜

❛ I am not the only one that wants to see you dead. ❜

❛ Ugh! It really warms the heart. ❜

❛ You don't have a heart. ❜

❛ Be sure to tell the vengeance-seekers I said hi. ❜

❛ That's why I saved you from the spell you were under. ❜

❛ Wherever you are, a coven there shall be. ❜

❛ I feel really optimistic about this. ❜

❛ So you're a bit of a kook. Every witch has their process. ❜

❛ Witches like you are the reason people think we poison apples, and steal children, and eat babies. ❜

❛ Don't you miss the glory days? ❜

❛ The path you're currently on leads nowhere. ❜

❛ Hey! Where do you keep your jade eggs? I'm fresh out of marbles, and my pelvic floor is all over the place. ❜

❛ I haven't seen you since I made a really pointed effort to never run into you again.❜

❛ Historically, we as a group don't do well in courtrooms. ❜

❛ People like you are dangerous. ❜

❛ Are there any real witches in the house? ❜

❛ What a team of rejects. ❜

❛ This is just a really, really, really horrible party. ❜

❛ It's giving "middle-aged second chance at love" vibes and I'm here for it. ❜

❛ Okay, so a witch is really just another name for a bad girl, is that right? ❜

❛ I'm not saying that I wanna join the club or anything, but I would drink the blood of a virgin if it would smooth out some of these wrinkles. ❜

❛ So the hallucinations seem chill. ❜

❛ I can't protect you! ❜

❛ I do not wanna die here. This is not where I die. ❜

❛ They can take your power, but they can't take your knowledge. ❜

❛ I didn't think you had it in you. ❜

❛ We were supposed to look out for each other, but we didn't. That was our fatal mistake. ❜

❛ I wish we could go home. ❜

❛ People can't be replaced. ❜

❛ Are we in trouble? Like, more than we were ten minutes ago? ❜

❛ Honestly, I don't know how to feel. Do I hate her? Or do I want her phone number? ❜

❛ I'm feeling impatient. I'm feeling like I wanna cause some damage. ❜

❛ Once vengeance is loosed, you can't reel it back in. ❜

❛ The only way to end a curse is to face it. ❜

❛ Sad is better than angry. ❜

❛ You don't have to know a person's name to know who they are. ❜

❛ Are you really defending a noted serial killer, you creepy lurker? ❜

❛ The moral of the story, kids, is always finish what you started. Also, mercy is overrated. ❜

❛ Who better to commune with the dead than someone who's put so many in the grave? ❜

❛ I mean, or we could just slit her throat. ❜

❛ But we were getting along, weren't we? We were clicking. There was unity. ❜

❛ She's possessed! For real this time! ❜

❛ I hate ghosts. ❜

❛ Why do you hate me still?❜

❛ You were born evil. ❜

❛ Please take me with you. ❜

❛ She was protecting you. But you don't deserve it. ❜

❛ I couldn't... I couldn't control it. ❜

❛ Death comes for us all. ❜

❛ You're so much like your mother. ❜

❛ We love you more than we could ever hope to communicate in human words. ❜

❛ You don't need to be a psychic to see that you're a good egg. ❜

❛ Enjoy the now, baby. It's the only thing that's certain. ❜

❛ Nothing in my life has felt normal until I met you. ❜

❛ I want you to know the real me. ❜

❛ You're so adorably trusting. ❜

❛ Word to the wise, don't go sniffing around there. ❜

❛ You seriously don't know what kind of crazy that lady eats for breakfast. ❜

❛ I panicked, so I ran. ❜

❛ Could we, like, maybe not, with the physical violence? ❜

❛ Power doesn't interest me. ❜

❛ Yeah. Well, what you did was ehhh … but life goes on. Yours, anyway. ❜

❛ I mean, I've killed...uh...my share. But you don't see it holding me back. ❜

❛ Don't you dare feel guilty about your talent. You survived. ❜

❛ So you broke the rules. Big deal. That's what kept you alive. That's what makes you special. ❜

❛ I don't need you anymore. I don't know if I ever did. ❜

❛ If you really wanna finish this together, just know that I do not trust you. At all. ❜

❛ You'll get a nosebleed trying that hard to read my mind. ❜

❛ Hey, you want straight answers, ask a straight lady. ❜

❛ Tell me what more I should see, when I look at you. ❜

❛ You know, we really hated each other from the beginning. But now...I love you, guys. ❜

❛ I'm a forgotten woman. ❜

❛ Death comes for us all. It is what we all have in common. ❜

❛ I can see all the pieces falling into place. The gaps are filling in. ❜

❛ I'm telling you now because soon I'm not going to remember any of this. ❜

❛ I hope you'll join me. ❜

❛ I needed you. My coven. ❜

❛ What can I say? I like the bad boys. ❜

❛ I loved being a witch. ❜

❛ That's it? That's all the... That's all the time I get? ❜

❛ This can't be the end. It has to be the beginning. ❜

❛ I watch you. Just as closely as you watch everyone else. ❜

❛ No one in history has had special treatment like you. ❜

❛ You gave me nothing. You took. ❜

❛ Why do you let them believe those things about you, hmm? ❜

❛ What fresh horrors await us! ❜

❛ You seem relaxed. Usually at this point you're either complaining loudly or freaking out loudly. ❜

❛ It's nice. That feeling when your body knows it's safe. ❜

❛ Sometimes...boys die. ❜

❛ Congratulations, my love! I'm sorry I didn't have a ribbon for you to run through. ❜

❛ Why don't you want me? ❜

❛ Power looks good on you. ❜

❛ You do this and I will hate you forever. ❜

❛ Please let him live. Please, my love! ❜

❛ If you want to survive, get used to this feeling. ❜

❛ I cannot protect you from what's coming. ❜

❛ I saw you die. ❜

❛ And now, I'm a ghost. Can you dig it? ❜

❛ By the way, I did not sacrifice myself for you. I took a calculated risk. ❜

❛ You're making fun of me. This is just one of your tricks. ❜

❛ You have something of mine. I know you took it. ❜

❛ Why are you still here? Why won't you just die? ❜

❛ I'm sure he would forgive you for... whatever you did. ❜

❛ We could make a good team. You and me. ❜

[fixated-on-fictional-characters]

I just wanted to say, to those people who are saying Agatha did not grow at all. You are wrong.

She’s centuries old and her mother, the person who was supposed to love her no matter what not only turned against her and tried to kill her but also turned her entire community against her.

She has been alone for so so long, always having to look out for herself and only herself because no one else was. So the type of character growth everybody wanted could not in anyway ever happen in a 9 episode series. It is impossible and would have just been so untrue and wrong to the character.

The only reason she cared about Billy in the first place is because she projected her son onto him. Even when all the clues were right in front of her eyes about his true identity, she wanted to cling on to the hope that Nicky was back. So it’s kind of hard to figure out who she actually cares about. Billy? Or just the parts of him that remind her of her own son? Especially when she seems to care about him quite a bit before betraying him.

But, I think betrayal is so ingrained in Agatha. She always has had to put herself first, in her mind it’s either betray or be betrayed, so she chooses her own survival over his. Keep in mind that right before, she had heard him say ‘ Agatha Harkness will never be more than a covenless witch’. (She remembers this since she mentions it after betraying him) That was when he thought he was all alone with Jennifer. So obviously, when Billy later on says ‘you’re not so bad’ Agatha Harkness who has been betrayed so much by her own community, by her own witchkin, who just heard him say what he did behind her back, won’t trust him. Won’t trust that he really cares about her or sees the good in her. At least not enough to sacrifice her own life. Not when she’s spent literal centuries protecting it. So she does what she has always done to survive. And she betrays him.

But, Agatha has grown. She’s learnt that not all witches will turn against her. That some witches, will even sacrifice themselves to protect her (Lilia and Alice) She helped Billy find his brother’s soul and find a body for it, she wouldn’t have done that in ep1, she would’ve made him power her up first at least. She actually listened to Lilia’s advice, smth I’m not sure she would’ve done either had it been the same witch in ep1. And I think her kissing Rio was a way for her to show a tiny bit of forgiveness. Of understanding. She could’ve stolen her powers in any other way but she chose to do it by full on making out. I like to think she kissed her because she didn’t know if she could touch Rio when she became a ghost and wanted to have one last kiss with her. That perhaps is the biggest growth for Agatha. Forgiveness and letting down her guard again. Forgiving her community and forgiving Rio. The two biggest heartbreaks of her life.

This doesn’t mean she doesn’t have more to grow, but we have not been watching the same show if you think she didn’t progress at all.

[ennn]

I expect Billy is going to be an antagonist for a while and that's OK

Anti's for either Agatha or Billy are probably going to get more intense as I predict our boy Billy's gonna be antagonistic for a bit. And let's be clear, I'm not hating, or saying either are evil, or in the wrong.

That's way too simple a take for this show. In the words of showrunner Jac Schaeffer:

...we populated the show with similarly flawed individuals who are also selfish and self-serving, who are self-sabotaging, who are constantly standing in their own way. And then they were just in conflict.  Everybody is kind of an anti-hero in the show. That was really fun and felt very truthful there. 

No one here is meant to be a pure "good guy", which is I think kind of Billy's arc -- but more on that later.

And when I mean antagonist I'm talking about the characters roles in the story. An antagonist isn't necessarily a villain. Agatha is the show's protagonist as well as its main antagonist: as much as she claims she wants only power, deep down she wants a coven, a community, a family. But she is as Schaeffer puts it, "in the way of her own thing."

Billy being an antagonist simply means that his goals – or some of them at least – conflict with Agatha's. Rio has been described as a "romantic antagonist" as well because some of her goals are also in conflict.

Long text speculation post and mild promo spoilers under the cut:

Let's first get this out of the way: Why do I think Billy's going to take on an antagonist role? Aside from well, all the things that happened at the end of Episode 5, there's some clues Billy's not all who he's been saying he is:

There's a promotional video with audio lines, and you can hear Billy saying things like "Agatha Harkness can never be anything but a covenless witch" and "I do not trust you".

Billy claiming to be "obsessed" about Agatha and her biggest fan and going on the road for power should know that she is the world's most notorious witch-killer – why is he appalled about her killing and so against it? And if episode 5 is any indication, power is not what he's lacking.

Joe and Schaeffer have mentioned that Billy will be different in the back half of episodes.

A quick clip from a trailer has Agatha (covered in mud) telling Billy "Last one there is a nice person", implying that Billy at this point doesn't want to be nice. I assume, at this point, he wants Agatha to pay for her misdeeds. The yellow tint of the clip also matches with the current Road area they're on.

Now at this point I do not know if Billy was involved in what I believe is a fake trial in episode 5. I'm inclined to think it's the Salem Seven, and we get this truth of Billy as fallout. I believe he definitely didn't want Alice dead.

Now for reasons why I think it'll be okay–even interesting–to have these two in conflict and everyone should put away their pitchfolks:

They are going to come to an understanding

You know how in Hawkeye series Yelena wants to kill Barton because she blames him for Natasha's death? I think we'll get a broadly similar arc or vibe for Agatha and Billy here. And they will design it in a similarly emotionally satisfying manner.

Right now Billy's basically like everyone–including the rest of the coven–who believes that Agatha is truly what her reputation says. And that's not surprising! Agatha is masks and layers and theatrics and she's not opening up unless she absolutely has to.

It may take a few episodes but I expect we'll get that before the series end, with this sobering exchange we have from a trailer:

Why do you let them believe those things about you? Because the truth is too awful.

I don't think Billy will be the Big Bad simply because I expect at the end Agatha's going to have to choose between wanting her coven, her community of witches, and something else—power perhaps, or her son, and go back to her old ways.

And for that to happen Agatha will need to have formed enough bonds with her coven, including Billy, to make it a difficult choice.

Power, darkness, and anti-heroes

Look, Agatha is my babe and she definitely needs a win after all that awful that happened in episode 5, but if you think about it Billy being a lot like his mom is really interesting? More interesting than him just being a cute innocent fanboy.

Because if he is an anti-hero, with some darkness in him, it's an opportunity to explore some of the themes or ideas we touched on in Wandavision with Wanda and her power, and her sense of self.

Heroes don't torture people.

Agatha recognises the darkness in people, delights in it even: as touched on in interviews, it's one of the reasons why she saw herself as Detective Agnes in that spell, as an investigator exploring the darkest aspects of humanity. She's seen the worst in people, and knows how to play the villain.

For Billy to avoid making the same mistakes as his mom, he needs to understand not just his power, but his potential for darkness.

Power corrupts, and when you're born with that reality-warping level of power, it's dangerous. It's so tempting to make people do what you need them to. And it's a slippery slope once you start killing, even if it's for good reasons.

Agatha never wanted to kill her first coven, in that moment she only wanted to live. But she did, with a power she never asked for, that made it so easy to keep taking and taking.

It is kind of tragic given the circumstances that Agatha couldn't have been a mentor to Wanda at the end of Wandavision, given the events of Multiverse of Madness, because she made some valid points and they could have been a coven, given Agatha's deep-deep-buried desire for one.

And looking at all the mentor-kid pairings we've seen in the MCU so far (Parker and Stark, Clint and Bishop, Strange and Chavez, etc.), I don't think we've ever had this kind of dynamic.

Interesting power dynamics

I think Agatha is at her most interesting when she's on the back foot. As we've seen in episode one, she's not one to give up when physically outmatched, quite the opposite. She's a survivor, she's stubborn, and she's a performer.

Billy has been revealed to have the magical equivalent of a gun, and is capable of taking this entire coven hostage.

They're going to have to interact in new ways now. But now it's going to be more of a dance.

It's new danger, new complications, but also new ways to connect, and also the opportunity for a more honest relationship.

Knowledge, history, community

This point isn't specific only to Agatha and Billy but I'm reminded of Billy taking it out not just on Agatha but Lilia and Jen as well.

It's not surprising that Alice and Billy, the two youngest coven members are also the most idealistic and noble. The world has not been kind to witches over the centuries—Lilia's been chased out of villages for her visions, Jen has been attacked—and the older members of the group have done what they can to survive: How much can you blame them for being selfish in a cruel world?

Power isn't your problem, it's knowledge.

In this case I mean not just the knowledge of witchcraft, but lived experience as well.

Younger witches have to learn their community's history, and the older ones have to be challenged in their set ways of thinking, in how they've adapted, because they're not always good.

I wouldn't be surprised if there was an allegory to be made here to the queer community as well. Schaeffer has mentioned there is a large overlap between the history and persecution of witches and that of the LGBTQ community.

--

Good lord this post ran away from me. If you actually read all of that you do deserve a cookie.

[mswyrr]

why i think agatha has never walked the Road before

Based on the song lyrics, if she had walked it before, she would have needed a coven to do it, and we have every reason to believe she hasn't had a coven since her first betrayed her.

Gather sisters fire Water, earth and air Darkest hour, wake thy power Earthly and divine Burn and brew with coven true And glory shall be thine

Even if she had previously bamboozled some poor bunch of witches into the Road, if they didn't become her "coven true" in that process, the attempt would have been a failure. Perhaps she has survived a previous, failed attempt, but she's never walked it successfully. To walk it successfully would mean to have community at the end, and that would require her to be changed in key ways.

Another lyric talks about "fate" and another about facing your "fears." If Agatha had faced her fears or fate successfully in the past, she wouldn't be the person she is imo. She's currently someone who is in constant flight from her past, her own feelings, other people. Only Wanda's magic trapped her, pinning her in place, forcing her into community with others. And that has just (for the moment) made Agatha double down on running and using. At least at the surface level.

Moving beyond the specific lyrics of the song, there's two broad categories of how to handle magic in stories. The first treats it like a possession--like a powerful weapon or tool in a character's hand--something that belongs to them and they can do with it what they wish and, pivotally, who they are is separate from it. The second treats magic as something that transforms you -- it's not a tool you wield, to wield it creates/requires a change in your very being. I think the way they're writing magic on the show is the second (to me, vastly superior) approach rather than the first.

The song itself and the use of a Road both point to this. The idea of a walking a path or road and being changed by it is widespread in global spiritual practices -- many religions articulate the religion itself as a road/path to walk -- the process of walking the path is supposed to bring you more and more into alignment with the power/enlightenment you seek, rather than the power becoming a thing YOU own.

Agatha herself is so deeply unenlightened at this moment in her life that she is TREATING the Road as if it is the category one kind of magic. Just a tool or a weapon she can grasp and possess without changing. She's treating the magical commitment she's made to this coven similarly, as if it has no weight to it. But I think she's dead wrong about all of that. That the magic in this story is of the second category, and through walking the Road--and committing to a coven-- she will experience change and find a "coven true." Not that she will become all nice; not that the coven will be all sweetness and light. But that it will simply be real and true.

As Jac herself has said about community:

"I hope what people take from the show, is that yes there is a tremendous amount of benefit from the circle, from the tribe, that you can have communal power, and your can find your own internal power in that circle. But also it was really important to me to show that there can also be in fighting in that circle. And there can also be bad decision-making and backstabbing, and the complexity of these witches no being able to get along. The goal for them (coven) is to harmonize both literally and figuratively, and they fail at it! You know, in a number of occasions, a circle can give you so much. But it's always going to be an imperfect thing." --podcast interview with Jac Schaeffer, quote transcribed by the lovely @isagrimorie (thank you! <3)

Even at its best, community is hard work. A "coven true" doesn't mean easy. Just real and sincere. Agatha lost the "grounding" of herself in her youth (my meta on that is here) and she will be more grounded again.

At its worst, as Agatha learned in her youth, community can become monstrous and terrifying. A prison rather than a home; a death sentence rather than a safe place to live and grow. But even when things aren't in that failure state, it can be painful and difficult -- its own hard road to walk. But on that journey you *become*. And others become along with you. By committing to each other, you are not instantly made whole and enlightened. But you allow yourself to live and breathe and become. To do the hard work of becoming. And it is that process of becoming (of living) that Agatha has cut herself off from by cutting herself off from people.

[vickyvicarious]

If Jonathan has been suffering from brain fever which has apparently symptoms of delirious ramblings and no memory of who you are and where you live, does that mean that he had lost his memory even BEFORE he arrived at the station?

Because Sister Agatha said that he was asking for a ticket at Klausenburg station. But he never said a ticket to WHERE.

They assumed he was English from his manners and language, but he never said he wanted to go to England. "the guard was told by the station-master there that he rushed into the station shouting for a ticket for home." Home to where? Where is home? He evidently couldn't tell, he could just say home.

So did he climb down the walls and run across the Carpathians while actively losing his memory?

Ooh, this is a really interesting possibility. I have always kind of assumed that he didn't experience the worst of his brain fever until he broke down/was in the hospital. Then, a combination of his memories/attempts to talk being disregarded as delirium, and his body breaking down, and PTSD (and also maybe all those religious symbols burning the vampire infection out of his blood) - those were what led him to forget, to dismiss whatever he did remember as just delusions. He knew that he couldn't afford to linger on the memories for multiple reasons (they caused him to panic, they caused others to call him crazy) and just blocked it all out together with actually forgetting. He chose not to seek further because whatever the truth, he didn't want to know. He didn't want to deal with confirming that he had actually gone mad, or opening up the possibility that he hadn't. So he didn't read his diary. He was out and he wanted to move on.

But he already felt like his brain was on fire before he left. What if he was losing memories/coherence as he fled? What if everything else started to disappear, what if he only barely managed to hold on to a couple of concepts that were of the utmost importance to him? So he knows he has to get home. He knows he can't stop until he does so. He knows the way to go roughly (knows to travel West, knows to take a train) but can't explain it, can only wildly call for someone to send him home without being able to give any details on where that is. He knows the urgency but can no longer remember why, just that he is terrified and he cannot stop. (Until he has no choice, until he's forced to do so. And then, once he does stop, he loses himself entirely. The linchpin has been removed; without being able to go home he no longer can move at all, can't say who he wants to find there or where it is. With the urgency forced away he loses even his sense of time. At least for a while.)

And the one other thing he knows, the thing he's spent months doing. He knows he must protect his diary. He travels with it in his coat pocket, where he can reach in and feel it at any moment and reassure himself it's still there. When he's put in the hospital he never tells anyone about it. Maybe he asks Sister Agatha if it is still there, or maybe he can't share even that much, maybe he only asks her to keep his clothes in the room with him where he can see them. He protects it even from himself, he allows no one to read it or to touch it or to ask him about it. He doesn't even remember exactly why anymore, he just knows whatever is inside is terrifying and deadly important. He knows it is secret. He knows it has to be kept safe at all costs. And while he can't bear even to face it himself, even after he has started to recover, he absolutely cannot get rid of it either. And so he gives it to the one person he knows with absolute certainty will never break his trust, who can be allowed to open it at any time because she can be trusted with all of himself and everything he knows or once knew, who will never make him face it again unless he absolutely needs to do so. He gives it to the one person he knows will protect it without question. He gives it to Mina.

[fateoffireandwater]

Top ten MCU girlbosses

before I start writing I want to say that when I think girl boss I don’t think rude bitch or queen of literally everything. It is just someone who stands up for herself I also don’t know how to explain it lmao.

10. Monica

Honestly she just slays that’s all I can say.

9. The mighty Thor

In the Thor movies she starts an amazing scientist with bravery and confidence. Then she becomes a hero and dies defeating Gorr.

8. MJ

I like this character because her personality is different from the average girlfriend of a superhero and she always does what she believes is right and will never shy away from the truth.

7. Darcy

She just whatever she wants and is such a character. She is a girlboss don’t really have a reason why.

6. Rio

I love how she does whatever she wants and has a fun humorous attitude and while everyone is terrified she’s having a great time.

5. Agatha

Just like rio she does whatever she wants and has a great personality.

4. Scarlet witch

literally the most powerful avenger and would do anything to protect her family literally. After she realises the horrible things she’s done she doesn’t hesitate to do what she thinks she needs to do to fix it. She went from a scared character who needed to be constantly saved by Hawkeye, Petrio and other characters to the strongest avenger.

3. Nebula

She starts of as an avenger who wants to get revenge on her sister to a tough, smart, independent, protective and strong character who secretly cares about all her friends.

2. Mantis

After being told what to do and having no freedom for her whole life she finally leaves and uses her incredible kindness, empathy and powers to live her own life. I love how the movie makers didn’t mark her the average female character who either is absolutely perfect at everything and is a bitch and never does anything important or is useless and always needs saving. Instead she has her flaws and strengths.

Karen

Oh my god Karen has to be one of my favourite characters. The reason she was in daredevil in the first place is because she had murdered someone but she doesn’t remember doing it. Because she has no money she works with Matt and Foggy as a lawyer WITH NO EXPERIENCE OR KNOWLEDGE ON BEING A LAWYER. She tries to solves mystery that daredevil is trying to figure. She and her friend Ben are working together to bring these people up. Then she finds kingpins mum which no one knew existed except for a couple people including kingpin, his friend (forgot his name) and the workers at the nursing home the mum was at. Kingpins bestie friendo finds out that Karen knows this and kidnaps her. Then she KILLS HIM which is crazy because he isn’t a weak character or anything. I mean he was kinda stupid guy for leaving the gun on the middle of the table anyway. She gets kidnapped again in season 2 at the end and she tries to escape with some guy and he nearly dies but daredevil comes and saves everyone and she helps everyone get out. After that she writes the most inspiring article (because she gets given a new job WITH NO EXPERIENCE OR KNOWLEDGE OF THIS JOB AGAIN in Ben’s office once he dies.) At the end of season 2 daredevil reveals to her who he is. This is some key moments that show how much of a character she is. I won’t include everything awesome she did because this will be way to long. Anyways throughout season 1 and 2 of daredevil she shows her persistence and hope by always pushing through struggles and reassuring and helping others . Even while she was recovering from murdering someone twice and later losing two good friends all of these on separate occasions she was doing her job, being a good person and helping Foggy and daredevil. She also doesn’t put up with people doing horrible things whatever it is and will to ever she thinks is the right thing no matter the consequences. Dame I should stop writing now lmao.

Like for part 2 if you want.

[csolarstorm]

Agatha All Along Ep. 5 First Impressions

I'm kinda disappointed.

Agatha All Along has been working really well as a solo project. The practical effects and episodic writing make it feel really different than a lot of the MCU. There are a lot of non-MCU fans watching this. So I was worried that

...Teen's identity just doesn't flow with not just the plot of this show, but its emotional core. What does "Teen is actually Wanda's kid" mean to the story of Agatha's coven and their journey down the Witch's Road?

What I was hoping was that after the Witch's Road, they'd take some time to bring Wanda's legacy back into the show organically so Teen's identity had some emotional weight to it. After all, there's a lot of potential for drama there once Agatha realized her "familiar" was the child of the woman who took her freedom for three years.

So when Wanda's crown appeared on Teen's head, I didn't have much of an emotional reaction to the reveal itself. It was certainly a cool way to do it, especially with the perfect song, but it happened too soon, too fast. I am definitely interested in how Agatha immediately turned Teen's words against him and projected Wanda's misdeeds onto him, especially since he immediately proved her right by taking control of Lilia and Jen and threw them all into the muck. I'm just a little confused as to why he would do that. Guess we have to wait and see.

The episode in general just felt...rushed, maybe? I don't know, I felt like bits of motivation or bits of reasoning were missing here and there. Everyone turned against Agatha during her trial really quickly, and they should know that past trials were supposed to be group efforts. Evanora kept repeating that Agatha was evil, she was born evil, but never offered any details about what she did. And nobody asked.

And then out of nowhere in the last minute of the "trial", Teen suddenly contacted Nicholas Scratch on the Ouija Board (didn't he say specifically it needed more than one person??) and a ghost's voice that I guess is Scratch pleads for Agatha to stop killing Alice, because he wants his mom to be a good person. Okay...? Then Nicholas Scratch was apparently a child when he either died or was sacrificed.

Why was that the way to finish the trial? What exactly was this trial? If last week's trial was anything to go by, you'd expect the coven to learn something, or find closure somehow. The fact that Teen randomly contacts a whole different ghost and apparently finishes the trial for all of them because the coven is in complete chaos and did NOT reach any understanding with Evanora - if that was the point of the trial - ? - kind of goes against the spirit of what we've seen so far. Maybe the writing was over-edited and messed up because Marvel had to oversee the Billy reveal.

This episode might still grow on me. That's why I'm calling this "first impressions". Because I literally just watched it, and I'm still digesting it. Stuff like Nicholas Scratch's appearance as a ghostly voice and Teen's reveal as Billy might make more sense with future episodes, so I'm not saying it's ruined or anything. Overall Agatha All Along is one of the best Marvel shows, exceeding it's predecessor Wandavision in emotional intelligence and drama.

Also at some point one of the witches called Billy Agatha's "familiar" and I just realized that's why she kept calling him her "pet". Though, considering she called her actual familiar "Senor Scratchy" and she thought Billy was her son for a while, that makes it a lot sadder. And I do like that Agatha only needed to know that he wasn't her son to suspect that he was Billy Kaplan. (Billy Maximoff? Billyvision? Whatever Marvel goes with.) But what really confirmed it for her was when he got righteous with her, and it reminded her of Wanda trying to excuse her actions in Westview. That was good.

[error-intheraine]

Agatha All Along

Ep 5, Oct 10 2024:

HOLY FUCKING SHIT HOLY SHIT WE WERE RIGHT HE IS WANDAS KID THE SIGIL BEING MESSY TO PROTECT HIS IDENTITY ‘we don’t like to say her name’ AND THEN HES SO MAD THEY JUST WANT POWER AND THEN HE MIND CONTROLS THEM AND THE CROWN GROWS ON HIS HEAD JUST LIKE IN WANDAVISION W/ WANDA AND ALSO ‘a lot happened to me at 13 too’ AGATHA WAS UNDER WANDAS CONTROL FOR 3 YEARS SO BILLY WOULD BE 17 AND HE IS AND WHEN HE WAS 13 THATS WHEN WANDA AND VISION DIED AND WESTVIEW WAS UN MIND CONTROLLED AND I THOUGHT HE DISAPEERED IF HE’S ALIVE IS WANDA ALIVE OR DID HE COME FROM A DIFFERENT MULTIVERSE TO FILL JN A SPOT IDK I THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD IS TOMMY DEAD TOO??? IF TOMMYS THERE WILL THEY BECOME A DUO IS HE GONNA KILL ANYONE ELSE CAISE THE IMLY ONE WHO WAS REALLY NICE TO HIM WAS ALICE W/ THE BROOMS AND ‘you know, I miss the eyeliner, but the hair’s kinda cute’ AND HE WAS THERE FOR HER FLASHBACK AND SHE JUST GOT OVER HER GENERATIONAL CURSE AND IS RECOVERING FROM HER TRAUMA AND THEN SHE TRIED SAVING AGATHA AND AGATHA KILLED HER AND THEN THE END BEING ‘YOU SHOULD SEE ME IN A CROWN’ THAT SLAPPED SO HARD I LITERALLY ALMOST SCREAMED HOLY SUOT AND THE PARALLELS AND VISION IS GETTING HIS OWN SHOW WILL BILLY AND/OR TOMMY BE IN THAT WILL THE FULLY WHITE VIS BE IN THIS AND LIKE PULL BILLY OFF THE EDGE OF DESTRUCTION? IF RIO IS DEATH THEN WILL BILLY FORCE HER TO LEAD HIM THERE TO GET ALICE AND THEN FIND TOMMY VIS AND WANDA WOULD VIS EVEN BE THERE BECAUSE HES AI BUT ALSO HE IS A PERSON AND HE CAN DIE BUT WOULD HE BE IN THE SAME PLACE WILL WE GEG TO SEE MORE OF HIS BOYFRIEND WILL IT BE A WANDAVISION SITUATION WHERE HE’L TRY HIDING IT FROM HIS BF AND WONT WORK OR WILL HIS BF BE LIKE A CAHRCATER (I don’t think so cause gay and marvel) ALSO ‘an agent of Mephisto’ WHO IS FROM THE MARVEL UNIVERSE BASED ON GREEK MYTHS IF NORSE MYTHOLOGY IS REAL THE. GREEK MYTHOLOGY ORPHEUS???

OK LIKE 15 min LATER LOOKED ONLINE YEAH SO BILLY MOGHT NOT BE 616 BILLY SO MAYBE THATS WHY HE CANT TLAK AND LIKE AND THIRTEEN HE GOT TRANSPORTED AND HIS HAIR TURNED BLACK OR SOME SHIT AND ALSO THE REASON HE KEEPS FINDING THE CLUES

A. Already walked the witches road in a different universe/multiverse (not 616)

B. The gatherer of the coven walks the road, he gathered the coven it was never Agatha’s it was his

ALSO WHY WAS AGATHA PROTECTING HIM MAYBE SHE THOUGHT HE WAS HERS UNTIL RIO AND THEN SHE REALISED HE WAS WANDAS AND WAS LIKE OH SHIT THAT MAKES SENSE ALSO DOES TEEN KNOW HIS MOM IS WANDA HOW LONG HAS HE KNOWN WTF I CANT BELIEVE I HAVE TI WAIT ANOTHER FUCKING WEEK ALSO THE FINALE IS DEF COMING OUT ON HALLOWEEN ALSO WHAT IF WANDA IS AT THE END OF THE ROAD AND NOT DEAD J DINT THINK BILLY KNEW HIS MOM CAUSE AGATHA TRIED KILLING HIM AND BIS MOM SO LIKE YEAH

OK MEW THEORY FROM TWT HOMY SHIT WHAG IF THE WHOLE EPISODE WAS A VISION BECAUSE IN EVERY EP LILIA BLURTED OUT A VUSION AND SHE DIDNT THIS TIME PROBABLY BECAUSE WE WERE IN HER VISION ALSO SVERYINE WAS WEIRDLY OOC AND STRAIGHTFORWARD MAYBE IT DIDNT HAPPEN YET AND LIKE MAYBE BEGINNING WAS BUT I THINK GATAHAS TRIAL BEING THE SHORTEST IS DUMB SHE WOULD FAVE SO MUCH MORE AND MAYBE HER WORST FEAR IS HER MOM IDK TRAUMA BUT LIKE WHAT IF IT WAS A VISION THAT WOULD BE FUCKING CRAZY HAHA WHAT IF RIO WAS THE ONLY ONE IN CHARACTER THEY ALL TURNED ON AGATHA SO FAST MAYBE THE VISION CUT OUT FLUFF WHICH IS WHY ITS SO SHORT OR MAYBE TEEN WAS MANIPULATING EVERYONE OR LILIAS VISION OF THE WORST OUTCOME OF THE ROAD ‘save Agatha’ , Alice, don’t’ SO LILIA CAN STOP THEM FROM HAVING ALIVE DIE SAVING AGATHA AND BILLY DOESNT KILL EVERYONE ALSO WHAT IF IT WAS ACTUALLY TEENS TRIAL BECAUSE 80’s SLEEPOVER HES WEARING SAME KIND OF T SHIRT AS HE DID IN WANDAVISION AND WNADVISOON HE WAS AGED UP IN THE 80’s EPISODE AND LIKE THIRTEEN AND MAYBE HEA EVIL AND MANIPULATED EVERYONE INTO THINKING IT WAS AGATHAS FAULT SO THATS WHY BUT HE WIULDNT KILL ALICE MAYBE THAT WASNT PLANNED BUT LIKE THE DOOR ONLY OPENED WHEN HE SAID NICHOLAS SCRATCH FSR WTF

TWT IS MAKING ME CARZY WHAT IF BILLY WAS CONTROLLING IT THE WHOLE TIME SO THATS WHY TRIALS ONLY START WHEN HE DOES SOMETHING AND WHY HE WAS ABLE TO GET AGATHA OUT OF HIS MOMS SPELL AND WHY THE KIGHT AT THE BEGINNING OF THE ROAD WAS BLUE LIEK AAAAAAH AND HES THE FIRTS ONE INTO THE ROAD AND THE DOOR ONLY OPENED WHEN HE RAN DOWN MAYBE THE NEXT EPISODE WILL HAVE A DIFFERENT TITLE

ALSO LIKE BILLY CONTROLLING THEM THE WIO TIME BUT THIS EPISODE THE ONLY PERSON WHO TREATED HIM AS AN EQUAL (Alice) DIED SO HE JUST WENT FUCKING INSANE AND FERAL

[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs Bridgerton S3

"I must say, all those piano lessons in Bath have reaped their reward." Is this their subtle explanation for where This Francesca has been the past two seasons?

"You do realize what tune she was playing right now, don't you? Mozart's Funeral March." "Oh god." Benedict said: I am both a scholar of art AND a smart aleck, Mum

Say what you will, Bridgerton knows the power of a good haircut

LMAO did they have Colin get his tiddies out in the carriage just to show off how hot he is since it'll take a while for him to get naked with someone else?

"It would be pleasant to have my own house." LMAO Francesca, extremely real reason to get married

I like the Featheringtons' husbands, they're just here to vibe

Speaking of marrying into money, Kate is truly the most gorgeous person alive. Bridgerton said: Do you want to watch beautiful people in fancy outfits struggling to socialize? And I said: Yes!

The way that despite their troubles, Eloise STILL protects Penelope's identity and keeps Cressida from sniping at her. The love story of MY season

"My stories from abroad are not suitable for such tender young ladies." With all due respect to Colin: Brother eugh, what's that?

"I take comfort in knowing that you will always be here to take care of me." What's the 1810s equivalent of putting your parents in a home? A convent? Lady Featherington inches closer with her every word to Penelope

"Perhaps something like what they are wearing in Paris?" [...] "I love it brother. Where is it from?" "A trader in Marseille." "My perfume is from Paris?" Bridgerton said: SUBTLETY WHO, COLIN X PENELOPE 4EVER

The sneaky looks on Anthony and Benedict's faces as they help Gregory run away with his bow and arrow KILL me

"I lost the battle, and I've no appetite for the war, so I've joined the winning side. Not unlike you, I take it? Or is this truly the new you?" Eloise said: People in superficial society houses shouldn't throw stones, Colin

(Also. I am in love with Eloise, she charms me more every season. Though wild that they're dissing Emma, Austen has women with SO much agency and Emma specifically is the lady of her house, someone throughout the novel learns that she DOESN'T know everything, and who vows herself not to marry until she changes her mind and falls in love with a friend)

[Voice breaking] "Now you have your life, and I have mine." ELOISE WAHHHHHH. I think she is totally justified, but god, friendship breakups are SOOO brutal

"In truth, I enjoyed having a purpose. Whereas now that you're back, I'm not certain what I'm supposed to do exactly." Explore bisexuality, Benedict <3

YEAHHHHHH Mondrichs!!! I hope society is kind to them

HAHAHAHAHAH I love Kanthony

Kate: You do know that what we are doing is not how one makes an heir?

Anthony, head still between his wife's legs: We have to start somewhere.

If they don't want me to want Penelope and Eloise to be in love, they HAVE to stop making her look at Penelope like that

HAHAHAHHA I love that Penelope, while getting attention from her nice hair and dress, is still extremely awkward when being talked to by a man. It is endearing

After the Queen Charlotte spin-off, I have a new appreciation for Lady Danbury and the Queen's friendship. Agatha knows how to get Charlotte going, 'bestie Lady Whistledown will get more recognition than you if you do not tell everyone who the hottest young debutante is'

Wondering if Kate's gown style is meant to invoke salwar kameez?

I hope Francesca and Penelope become closer!! Two gals who would rather die than talk to any man in this room:

"Why do I have the feeling that you in turn, know how to make one wither, if you so choose?" I do like Lord Debling so far, even if he looks MUCH older than Pen LOL

Every time they have a one-on-one interaction between a man and woman I'm like, why does it only sometimes matter if they're chaperoned LOL? Inconsistent

"You miss me, but you'd never court me. Is that correct?" GET HIM PEN

Not a season goes by that the Featheringtons are not in some kind of financial trouble. They're like the Coopers from The O.C.

"You disapprove? I thought we did not like Penelope." "What you did was cruel and unnecessary." I like both halves of this interaction, that Cressida is saying 'we' as in wanting to be on the same side as Eloise, and that Eloise is calling Cressida out for how awful she's been treating Penelope

I like that Cressida is both acknowledging that she's been unkind but also giving mind to the fact the women of the ton have been raised to be in competition with each other

God I love Kate and Anthony this season, sappy and sex-addled but also Kate making sure to think of Violet's needs and how difficult it would be to suddenly no longer be viscountess

While I do love the idea of charm lessons, and I cannot help but notice MOST of what Colin likes about Penelope are about him, "I know that you will lift my spirits, and make me see the world in ways I could not have imagined." "[You] have always truly made me feel appreciated.") Don't love that

"I will never forgive her," said Colin, about the woman he just called his very good friend and would later go on to marry

Surely the Mondrichs can decide how things are done in their own house, I highly doubt Violet and her husband or Kate and Anthony do separate bedrooms

HAHAHAH I wonder how many episodes Eloise will have fancy hand muffs to hide Claudia Jessie's broken arm

I guess I was wrong about Colin not getting naked, he's just frequenting brothels I suppose?

"Pen, living for the estimation of others is a trap." Spoken like a man who can inherit property and fortune through means other than marriage

I was thinking Francesca and Eloise were on similar plights, but it seems more that Francesca's beef is with any sort of attention than with being married

Hee hee, I love Hyacinth beating her older brothers at cards

"Somehow my character gets lost between my heart and my mouth." I feel that, Penelope! I have no idea what I'm saying half the time

"Your eyes are a most remarkable shade of blue, and yet they shine even brighter when you are kind." If I were Colin, this would immediately do me in, a compliment that specific is really something

This journal thing is symptomatic of Penelope's lack of respect for anyone's privacy, even if it is good she understands what Colin was doing in Paris

"I do not wish for her to be friendless, and you are perhaps all she has now." Eloise is SO understanding given what Penelope has said about her AND Colin

"I think of Prudence as a bonbon. Delicate, and oh so agreeable." "Mr. Dankworth, you are so... pretty." I love Mr. Dankworth. Pretty, loves his wife, gives great compliments, what more can I ask for?

Bold of Eloise to tell Cressida about Colin helping Penelope, she knows that Cressida has been purposely cruel to Pen before

"I think we have found your talent. You are a most entertaining speaker." YEAHHHHH Eloise, getting along with the girls with her gift for gab

"How are we expected to understand all these society rules when even someone born into this world cannot grasp them?" [Benedict makes a face but then smiles at being insulted] As I have been from his very first moment on screen, I'm in love with Benedict:

"We kiss, and then he makes an odd sound, and then goes to change his breeches." "His breeches remain on?" HAHAHAHAH every season there's a problem with no one offering the ladies any formal sex education

"I cannot think of anything [to gossip about] at the moment." GOOD FOR CRESSIDA

"I do not much care for idle gossip," said Penelope, like she wasn't the Queen of Capitalizing on Idle Gossip

I am SHOCKED that they have a character in a wheelchair on this show, and even more shocked there wasn't immediately some comment drawn to it, but glad! It may be a weird show when it comes to race, but at least it's not weird when it comes to ability?

The way the Colin Has Been Helping Penelope reveal was SO dramatic I thought it might actually be a dream sequence

"We can do whatever we want now. We are a married noble couple." That's what I'm talking about, Will

Penelope said: "Be a homie and kiss me," and Colin said: "I do not have the strength to deny that kind of request!"

This second kiss HAS to be a dream sequence, there's no way they'd jump into this without any preamble

Oh it was COLIN'S dream sequence, love that for him!!!!

Fhfkhfkjhf Colin: I did NOT have a wet dream, in case anyone wanted to know!

"[Hyacinth] waits for the maids to throw out last week's copy of Whistledown because she knows she is not allowed to read it." HAHA this is such a big brother thing for Benedict to say

"It was quite harsh what she wrote about you. Unnecessarily so, I think." Eloise said, be nicer to yourself, bestie

Colin does not know how to act around Penelope, this is the first time I've been endeared by him all season

"If I secure a proposal, it will be because of you." You know what that is, Penelope? Foreshadowing!

[Disdainfully] "Apparently he only eats vegetables." They disapprove of vegetarianism in Georgian England. Also. What a thing to say in front of two South Asian women, when India has the HIGHEST proportion of vegetarians in the world, and also has many historical and ongoing ties between vegetarianism and spirituality kjghgkjhg

Is the open mocking of other people supposed to be why we as the audience should be okay with Penelope exploiting other people's drama for profit? Cause I still don't appreciate 1810s Gossip Girl

God, Mrs. Mondrich is SO gorgeous. Peak beautiful people in fancy outfits

"I find your frankness immensely refreshing." I like Lord Debling more with every scene

"Do you feel some attachment to him?" Colin said: Penelope do you still like me check yes or no

Penelope just going "Yeah, me too," to all of Cressida's specific commentary about Lord Debling's interests is difficult to watch

Colin stopping the balloon is the first moment I have personally been attracted to him (ever, I think). I think the more casual outfit does do him some favours. This is his Anthony in the Lake moment

Weel weel weel, perhaps Violet will be finding someone to tend to her garden (her libido) soon

"I see you have met my brother, Lord Marcus Anderson." It would be SOOOOO funny if Violet fucks Lady Danbury's brother after finding out Danbury fucked her dad. It's very messy friendship LMAOOOO

"Perhaps we can enjoy the silence together." I like this man

"I am not afraid of you." "That... is a mistake." I was hoping Benedict would get to flirt with a man this season, but alas it does not seem to be in the cards (you're still bisexual to me, Benedict Bridgerton)

"Members of society do not work." Then how do they make money? Is it only what the crown gives you? What about the lawyers and doctors? Also lol @ this guy admitting that being a landlord isn't an honest line of work

"I do not wish to court someone exactly like myself. I want to be with someone who knows who they are, and embraces their own pecularity, as I do." Men in real life can never do for me what the men in Bridgerton do for me

"It is rare to begin as friends and for both parties to then feel more." I love that Colin is seeking out romantic advice from his mum, he's the only child so far who has earnestly listened to her

HAHAHAH not the I'm-asking-for-a-Friendcesca routine

Colin looked SO desperate to kiss Penelope that for a second I thought he might actually do it in the ballroom in front of everyone

They're selling me on Debling a little TOO much; it's like Daphne and the Prince. Like I know Pen and Colin are great friends, and that they have feelings for each other, but Debling seems like he would make an amazing husband, while I am less convinced that Colin would. Colin is sweet, but he is not street smart, and lacks the emotional awareness that Debling has:

Even if it's not what I ordered, I do enjoy Benedict catting around

What is Lady Danbury's beef with her brother LOL

"Step another pace backwards, you read me too well." Queen Charlotte's spinoff has really made me have a whole new appreciation for Brimsley

"But how will they know each other if they do not speak?" Honestly a very valid question, Violet

Considering that Lord Samadani wants to have eight kids, perhaps he should ask how many kids Francseca wants?

"Well, let him tell you about it. Men love to explain the world to us. If we have already explained it to ourselves through reading, then they will feel superfluous and unnmanned." Lady Featherington years ahead of her time in defining mansplaining HAHA

"Are there any novels in which the man goes travelling for a very long time, but his wife is happy to stay behind, tending the estate? I suppose that would not be a book with much sentiment, would it?" "Not necessarily. But if the wife had her own interests in life, then perhaps they could both be very happy." "A practical match, but a happy one? I like the sound of that." Again, you are selling me on Debling too well. I cannot believe you are making me root for a blond man with a Vegeta hairline*

*There's nothing wrong with the way this man looks, he just looks much older than Penelope!

"But it is tiring, is it not? The necessity for us to remain caveliar about the one thing in life that holds genuine meaning. Do you not find it lonely?" Colin Discovers: Toxic Masculinity Bad

"Do you know what is romantic? Security." Real, Lady Featherington

"My head is bottle-weary." What a poetic way to say you're hungover

Do we think Cressida and Eloise could fall in love? Let me have at least one lesbian in this show, please:

"And is your heart located in your breeches?" Apparently Lady Danbury's beef with her brother is that he is a slut

"To be honest, my work has such a large portion of my heart it may difficult to make more space. But I am very glad that you are someone who seems to have such a full life." Alright, I can see why Debling might not be the perfect match

Colin said: What up Penelope I'm here to ruin your marital prospects

"But these past few weeks have been full of confounding feelings. Feelings like a total inability to stop thinking about you. About that kiss. Feelings like dreaming of you when I'm asleep. And in fact, preferring sleep because that is where I might find you. A feeling that is like torture. But one which I cannot, will not, do not want to give up." I'll hand it to Colin, that was a pretty good confession, 8/10, I'd knock points off for the torture remark

Whoever is dating the Bridgerton cast has to be so strong, these scenes so impassioned

"For God's sake, Penelope Featherington, are you going to marry me or not?" Good for them!!!

I will say, bold choice to hard launch to the fam in the wee hours of the night immediately after a ball and fingering in the carriage, but if anyone's going to be cool about it, it's the Bridgertons:

EXTREMELY fair of Eloise to exit right away when she finds out her best friend with whom she has shared a borderline romantic breakup after several years of exploitation of her family for money and at least two pointed attacks on Eloise and her brother suddenly announces she's gonna be her sister-in-law

"And until he knows the real you, he cannot possibly love you." YOU RIGHT, ELOISE

"I will tell him. You have my word." "Very well." Kind of Eloise to still take Penelope at her word

NOT BENEDICT MISSING HIS BROTHER'S ENGAGEMENT BECAUSE HE WAS OUT PHILANDERING

Anthony and Kate are SO beautiful. I loooove them

"I am simply enjoying the view of my ravishing wife, and soon-to-be mother of my child." OOOOOh Kanthony baby, love that for them

HAHAHAHAH Anthony immediately forgetting how happy he is about the baby because he is PISSED another sibling is getting married without his permission

"I am one of the brothers as well." "I think of you as the family pet." BRUTAL HYACINTH HAHA

"If I do have to marry a man who could be my great-grandfather, we can at least use his money to shop, and queen over society like Lady Danbury." Cressida you are so lesbian to meeee

"The final part, the betrothal. it did all happen rather... swiftly." "It was swift because you--" "Are you going to duel your own brother or...?" Anthony's definitely thinking about it, Benedict!

Anthony insisting on Colin telling Penelope the depth of his feelings for her. That's growth, baby!

"I proposed to [Penelope] out of love, nothing less. And were you not so narrowly concerned over your own standing, you might see see that Penelope is the most eligible amongst you." Now THIS is the romance I'm talking about, Colin

"I will always stand up for you. Because I love you... Pen." "Are you sure?" [Nods] AWWWW they're so sweet

"You are cleverest, bravest woman I have ever known." Finally a compliment that feels like it's about Penelope (even if it was immediately followed by a comment about Colin)

I love Colin's Lustful List of How Hot His Fiancee is, and that he asks her specifically if she wants to stop because she's a lady!!

Oh smutty consensual Bridgerton, we back baybeeeeeeeee

"Tell me what to do." "I will do everything." "No, tell me." Ohhhhhh I love this

I LOVE knowing that Nicola Coughlan requested to be as naked as possible for this scene as a memory of how hot she is. And she was RIGHT

"Can we do it again?" "Give me five minutes. Maybe ten." HAHAHA this was a perfect scene from start to finish

"Is this the only reason you wish to delay our news? You are happy, I hope?" "Oh... Very happy." I love Anthony checking in on Kate about her pregnancy. He is such a sweet husband

"I wish to be married. Very much, in fact. I just hope my husband will not hide my piano stool from me." "I would not dream of it." I have been sold on John Stirling since his first shared silence with Francesca, I love them!!

"You seem to be quite good at [planning hospitality.]" "Oh, I am. I'd still much rather be out riding somewhere." I love Eloise and Kate's friendship also

"Finally, the woman will get the consequences she deserves." You see, Penelope, this is why you should have told Colin you were Whistledown BEFORE you agreed to marry him. Or before sex, or at any point whatsoever. You KNOW he has beef with Whistledown. This is engagement-ending stakes

God Eloise has been SO reasonable this whole time but I really do think the 5000 pound reward is a fair incentive to sell Penelope down the river for her own sake or even for Cressida's. It's tough being a lady in the 1800s!

"Somber clothing is best. Gray or brown. And we do not flit about town, engaged in gossip within the ton. We shall attend no more than one ball per month, and only if the hosts are of strong moral character. I certainly do not believe in music, and modern art nowadays is absolutey scandalous. Her tender eyes and ears will never be exposed to such filth." Not to be dramatic but I think Lord Greer has to die. Somebody needs to spook him really hard, he's like 105, it won't take much

"Featheringtons support one another." "Is that what you were doing earlier, supporting me?" "You are right, I have been unkind. But it stops now. And thankfully we have your engagement party coming up to allow us our fresh start." Parents really do think they can fix years of trauma with a single 'my bad'

"Your ledgers will not miss you, but your family will." A good wake-up call for Mondrich

"Do not take an interest in her. I have a new bow and arrow. Would you like to see it?" Tweens are still the same in 1815 HAHA

Hahaha Lady Danbury could not be emanating "Please don't fuck my brother," vibes harder. To which Lady Bridgerton said, "You fucked my dad, I'm definitely fucking your brother!"

"If it proves too difficult for you to reveal the truth, I will be merciful and reveal it to him myself. You have until midnight." Good for Eloise for giving her a deadline!!

AWWWWW John struggling through the boots story. He said: I'm an introvert and I will not be socialized, xoxo

"I know it is unlike you to cajole your own children." "You mock me." "As you rightly mocked me all last season." I missed these interactions between Anthony and Mama Bridgerton!!! I love when the Bridgertons are all in the same place

HAHAHAHA not Eloise dropping a really threatening post-script to Colin's speech about how excited he is for marriage

If they don't want me to want Penelope and Eloise to be in love, they gotta stop being so fucking intense all the time. They're turning charades into their own private intellectual battle

Also Cressida is reasonably, pretty jealous, considering the homoerotic friendship fight vibes. She said: Hey, I thought it was my turn to be gay!

Eloise said: I do not have time for two homoerotic friendships, sorry Cressida, Penelope has seniority

"All that to say, sometimes I miss what is right in front of me. But not Miss Francesca. Her, I saw straight away." I love you John, you are my favourite Bridgerton character of the season (book readers, tell me nothing!!)

"It is a great change, but you and I will make our way with our child, as we have always done with each other," said Anthony, like they weren't a whole mess last season public fucking in the Bridgerton gardens and getting into horse accidents

OMGGGGGGGGGG Cressida! Saying she's Whistledown so that she doesn't have to marry Lord Greer is truly a 'work smarter, not harder' moment

The smart move for Penelope would be to say nothing at all as Lady Whistledown and see how the Cressida thing pans out. Also, TELL COLIN!!

"You have many gifts, but cleverness is not amongst them." A harsh review on Cressida from Mama Cowper

"It is one thing to follow the rules. But if you want to win the game, you must lead it. Otherwise you will always be on the defensive." I love Agatha mentoring the Mondrichs

"Lady Bridgerton. Forgive my intrusion, I simply forgot my hat." Lord Anderson left his hat so he'd have an excuse to see her again. This is No. 1 in the Flirting Playbook

My question is: How do you have a booty call when you have have seven of your children in your house. Eight if you count in-laws!

Anderson really came to just flirt with Violet and leave. I love that!

"Excuse me, I have been taken ill of the plague, and you are all doomed by association." HAHAHA John is so funny. I keep saying I love him, but it's true

HAHAHAH Benedict ending his macaron fight with Gregory and Hyacinth by saying "Last macaron for you," to John, his new soon-to-be brother-in-law is incredible family dynamics at play

"Perhaps I can make Lady Whistledown go away, so she shall not be able to harm any of us again." "You will speak with Miss Cowper?" "With the scribe herself." Eloise is a WAY better friend than Penelope deserves

"Eloise, I have worked too hard for too long. Of all people, I refuse to let Cressida Cowper take credit." We have passed Bad Friend and circled to deranged. It is NOT girl boss behaviour to lie to your fiance and BRAG about exploiting your friend. Get some help, Penelope!

"Lady Whistledown is my name. Not hers." "Your name is about to Bridgerton. You cannot be both." YOU TELL HER, ELOISE

"We think speaking to the Queen would be the wisest decision." "Well, if you think you are up to it." "We would like you to speak to the Queen." Francesca said: I'm not afraid to have my mommy fight my battles for me

"What about my dreams?" "What dreams? Ladies do not have dreams. They have husbands." I know is a great line and a really stark commentary on the lack of independence for women of the era, but it also kinda reminds me of 'I do not remember names, I am female' in Queen Charlotte and that kills me a bit HAHA

"And my greatest wish has always been for you three to do better than I did. And you have." Penelope having her Mum Trauma healed in real time

Also Lady Featherington, the mess that she is, continues to be one of the most compelling characters in this show

"I am hosting a dinner party later this week. For you, and me, and my dear friend Paul. Will you come?" [CHANTING] BISEXUAL BENEDICT, BISEXUAL BENEDICT, LET HIM KISS PAUL

"I'm writing a manuscript in fact." [High pitched, perturbed] "Oh, are you?" That's also how I feel about Colin's manuscript, Benedict

Colin dancing with Penelope in the empty church <3 Stoppp it's so sweet. (Also. TELL HIM)

"May I present Lady Keswick." Danbury said: You will not be fucking my best friend on my watch, brother!! If only Eloise was this efficient

"It is no wonder Penelope abandoned you. All you ever do is talk. You clearly just envious that I have made something of myself." "Perhaps I am envious of Whistledown. It is quite a feat. And after spending a season feeling nearly invisible, I almost understand why one might be driven to write it. Congratulations on your hard-earned success." Not another homerotic friendship break-up. That's 2 for 2, Eloise!

It must be weird for all the Featheringtons now that Penelope is the favourite child

Well, burning every copy of Whistledown she's made and hanging up her pen is the second best thing that Penelope could do other than TELLING COLIN

They're really namedropping the town of Mayfair more this season than any before it

"You know my favourite part about dressmaking is seeing the glow on a woman's face when she puts the dress on. I can't imagine ever giving that feeling up. At any rate, we will make you the most beautiful dress." I appreciate Delacroix sharing what she thinks about Penelope giving up the column without pushing her in any sense

Things are going pretty well for me Bisexual Threesome Dreams:

Every since that one post about how the Bridgertons are the Kardashians of their town because they're popular, rich and keep getting with people of colour, I CANNOT stop thinking about it. Particularly for Lady Bridgerton and Lord Anderson, who are now Nicer Kris Jenner and Old Timey Hoe Corey Gamble in my mind

HAHAHAHAH Agatha really said: Marcus I will introduce you to EVERY widow in this town if it keeps you away from Violet

"Not bad. Not bad at all." God I love the Mondrichs earning the Queen's respect by throwing the sickest first ball the town has seen

"I have supported you." "You have been perfunctory in your support." Something something when the people who you love fail you

"Not every attachment must be dramatic and hard-fought. What John and I have is easy... and I love him, Mama. Even if it is not the love you want for me." We have now circled back to Violet's S2 ideology that Bridgertons are physically incapable of having a healthy courtship. Francesca has one, and it's nearly destroying her relationship with her mother LMAO

"The night before I was to be married, I very nearly escaped to freedom. Do you think I did not know that it was you who betrayed me to our father? I heard him thank you." That's really fair, I know it's been like 30 years and Agatha has a really nice life now, but financial independence does not make up for years of marital [LOUD FOGHORN NOISE] and the general unpleasantness of being married to Lord Danbury

"Soma. Soma..." "Soma? You think you can call me by my born name, and right the wrong?" Lord Danbury took her NAME? EUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I genuinely think that Marcus didn't know. It's giving, for me it was the worst day of my life, for you, it was a Tuesday

"Apparently the wine has made me rather rude." "It has also made you rather charming." I think Benedict is about kiss a man. I have NEVER been happier while watching Bridgerton. I have been saying Bi Benedict since Day 1. He's my people. That is a bisexual man!! I had to pause to hop around for a minute because I am that thrilled at the possibility what I have been asking for 3 years might actually come to fruition. GOD BLESS SHONDALAND. [HOLT FROM B99 VOICE] VINDICATION

Benedict after a man has flirted with him for the first time: I gotta go think about some stuff

I was joking, but HE DID have to go think about some stuff. Aww baby, you'll get there!

Not "[In BSL] she is the Devil," at Cressida hahahaha Sign Language Mama doesn't hold back

"Those [personal passages in my journal] are only for you." Awwww Colin that's sweet

Cressida is so unhinged for posting a Whistledown mid-ball. I do love the drama of it though

HAHAHA them having a close-up of Mama Cowper's arm with ink stains if we couldn't tell it was her from Cressida's near-and-far-far-and-wide speech earlier to the cohesive bulletin of her mum's writing. They don't do subtlety in Bridgerton

AWWWW the Crisis of Cowpers bringing Eloise and Penelope back together again. I can only imagine Colin's gonna overhear their conversation

"Writing was the only way I felt I could have a voice. And I should've been using the column to give a voice to the other voiceless. I have done plenty of damage with my pen. Please, let me use it now to do some good." "You must get a full issue out right away." I LOVE YOU PENELOPE AND ELOISE SOLVING THIS TOGETHER. CRIMES PARTIALLY FORGIVEN, PEN!

"You... are Lady Whistledown?" Turns out he followed her to the publishing house. FINALLY THOUGH. Talk it out, you Bonkers Betrothed

[Tearfully] "All of the lies... you have told me. All of the things you have written about me and my family." That is SUCH a fair reaction Colin, Penelope really has built an empire on shit-talking your family in secret

"I will never forgive you." Really? Cause you've got like 3 weeks to figure it out before your wedding, Colin

"Perhaps, because a few of [the Bridgerton children] may be of dubious parentage." What does that even MEAN, Cressida!! Which parent are you suggesting was getting around

Also, how's Penelope planning to explain the situation with Colin to anyone. What's Colin gonna do? The last time a woman lied to him, he had to end an engagement

"How many eyes exactly do you think there are in the ton?" "Double the amount of people, I would imagine." Philippa and Prudence's dialogue is great

"Whenever I try to grasp her hand these days, she does not swat it away with nearly the same gusto." Prudence has married the only man in this town with a rejection kink

"Perhaps I should read it then. I could use a distraction." You can't read your way out of bisexuality, Benedict. Try taking Am I Gay Quizzes and failing them. It worked for me!

"I cannot help you with this, Pen. I am so grateful for everything you have done for me, but already, I feel in the middle between you and Colin. Perhaps I always have been." That's because your friendships always lean romantic, Eloise!! And your best friend loves to lie all day every day

"But I hope you know that my care for you is not contingent on your aid. I am here for you, Agatha. Always. Even when there are no unmarried children left to help." [Softly] "Thank you, Violet. That means a great deal to me." Ohhhhh I love their friendship

"Are you going to stop publishing?" "I do not know." At least Penelope is finally being honest

Colin said: I'm still gonna marry you, but I'm not gonna be happy about it, Pen!!!

HAHAHAHA Tilley inviting Benedict over for an After You Ran Away from Our Threesome Offer Debrief. You know, I found them boring in the first half, but they've really sold me on the second half

"I have known men like Mr. Suarez, but I myself have never felt tempted... before." Oh, that's a qualifier Benedict

"But a feeling between two people, whatever their sex, is the most natural thing in the world." Lady Tilley said: Let me be your Bisexual Guru, Benedict

"If you did not feel anything with Mr. Suarez, then let us, you and I, continue on our own. But you should know... my staff are very discreet." GOD. That we are not only getting bisexual Benedict but that he is getting a bisexuality ARC. More than I could've asked for. I am kissing the Bridgerton writers on the mouth. Giggling and kicking my feet

Look at him trying to figure out if his sexuality. Benedict Girl til I die. FAVE FROM DAY 1

Violet lustfully watching Lord Anderson eat a fruit jelly. This is EXACTLY what Colin did to Penelope. Like mother, like son. All of her kids are different aspects of her personality

"I am not uninterested in exploration. But I will not know if I am ready for that, until after the affairs are... in order. Especially because I am not the only whose affairs need ordering." Violet said: We cannot start a situationship until you sort out your relationship with your sister, Marcus

When Cressida stared into the mirror I did expect Chappell Roan to start playing in violins

"Well, if I am to be bold, I should need some time to think about it." HAHAHA John Stirling, love of my life (second only to Benedict)

"Is everything well?" "Is everything well with you?" The B & C are really going through it on this stag night

"You were a girl who did not know her own power." "But does that justify it?" "No." Madame Delacroix is the realest friend

I really am glad that Colin is airing out all of his beefs with the Whistledown papers. He deserves to give her a lecture

"I can take care of myself." "Then what good am I to you?" "Colin, I love you!" Colin, you have value beyond what you can do for others

Also I can't believe they're ending this fight by getting frisky on the street. WHERE ARE YOUR PRIORITIES, YOU FREAKS? (AFFECTIONATE)

Relationship status: It's extremely complicated:

"Two glasses is celebratory. One whole bottle is a cry for help." HAHAH I love Kate's zingers, she's truly sharp as a tack

[Kate, laughing] "You think our marriage is perfect?" [Anthony, immediatley heartbroken] "Is it not?" HAHAHAH THEY ARE SO CUTE

Every time Kate makes any reference to marriage being hard, Anthony immediately gets upset and goes, 'I love you, our marriage has no flaws, why are you bullying me?'

"I drunk a whole bottle before my wedding (the second wedding) and it was deeply celebratory. Three raw eggs in the morning." It's been a while since Anthony has broken out Dad Mode, but that was a good one

The context that Marcus was 10 years old when he ratted out Agatha trying to escape really does make me not blame him quite so hard for it. He was a kid, he didn't understand long term consequences!

"You had something in you all along, a kind of courage I never dreamed of having. I have wished so many times that I had stood up to him. For you. For myself." New Bridgerton Dubious Race Trope unlocked: Why do all the Black characters (Simon, Agatha, the ongoing plot around the Mondrichs, Marina and Charlotte not having parents at all) have abusive or absent fathers? Discuss

But to be fair, most people in Bridgerton have absent or dead fathers. They're like 'Men? We don't need 'em!'

Also, good for Marcus for putting his resepect for his sister into words

"Do not come for my cane. I suppose you got all the good joints in the family." What a chronic pain sister with a healthy brother mood

"At last, my life is full of joy. And I've been afraid you would take it away from me." "Any joy I am after, I deep hope you are a large part of." Ohhhhhhh we love a healing of family trauma. This is the season of Therapizing Your Relatives

The way they keep referencing Anthony and Kate's wedding that they completely skipped. LOL

WHY IS YELLOW BY COLDPLAY THEIR WEDDING MARCH SONG LMAOOOOO

To date they have not shown a wedding under normal circumstances. Someone's always fighting, or lying, or under duress. It's brutal actually

Ohhhhh the way Colin nods at Penelope like 'we'll be okay.' MY HEART. I do love that they are friends in love getting married

I do feel like this was the most normal wedding so far. Good for them!

"Which brother or sister do you like the best?" "Gregory, clearly." HAHAHA I love Benedict and Eloise's little chats. Best sibling duo

"Love is not finite, Eloise. The friendship you have with Penelope is a lucky thing. As is the one you have with Colin." AWWW Eloise is sad because she thinks they don't have room for her in their hearts (Penelope especially, I think)

"Our child... will always be a Bridgerton. But I should like them to know that they are a Sharma as well, know their history. And it is important for me to know it so that we can share that history, with our child, together." I know that this India trip probably solves a plot purpose of giving Anthony and Kate a place to be but I can't help but also think of what a great example of cross-cultural parenting Anthony is providing. He's so good!!

Anthony and Kate really do be kissing in public all the time, HA

"Weddings are never for the bride and groom, even when things are... well, between the couple." "Thank you, for allowing me work it out for myself." [Lightheartedly] "Well, this wedding couldn't plan itself. I have not had time to meddle. Whatever it is, I know you will resolve it." Lady Featherington and Penelope have come a long way

Them doing the cutaway to them being the only people in the room while they dance. I see you 2005 Pride and Prejudice fan who did directed this scene

"I did not think you a dancer." "Perhaps not. But perhaps we should both be more bold in declaring ourselves." Is it unfair to Colin and Penelope if I say Lord Kilmartin and Francesca are my favourite couple of the season? 'Cause they are

Now that Lady Danbury is cool with Violet and Marcus, Anthony has switched to 'HEY. HEY DO NOT HIT ON MY MUM, LORD ANDERSON. THAT'S MY MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' O'VISION

I love that the Queen said, "Everyone who's not a Bridgerton, get out," and Lady Danbury said, "Hey, I am at least half Bridgerton by now, I'm staying."

"Do you know what it is like to have nowhere in the world where you can truly be yourself? You cannot possibly know, because you are not a woman. You have the choice to be any kind of person you wish to be, while the only choice women have is to conceal the parts of us the world will not accept." Penelope said: Lying to your fiance and exploiting his family for money is feminism, actually

It's very reasonable for Colin to not accept Penelope continuing to be Whistledown

Aww at least Eloise and Penelope's friendship is back in full force

VINDICATIONNNNNNNNN. BISEXUAL BENEDICT CANON. I WIN. WE ALL WIN. I KNEW HE WAS THE MOST BISEXUAL BRIDGERTON. YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

They split this season in two halves just so they could bisexualize Benedict during Pride Month. That's the reason. I've decided. Happy Pride Month to me!!!!

Also the emotional contrast of these last couple of scenes jgjhgjh

Colin: Fighting with his wife about life-altering deal-breaking secrets 0.03 seconds into marriage, on edge, disappointed and heartbroken

Benedict: Realizing there's a whole other kind of sex he could be having, and having a great time

"You will pay me my sum, or I will reveal the truth to the entire ton." Cressida isn't nice, but she did make a good detective and subsequently, blackmailer

Poor Violet trying to avoid being thrown into scandal once more. Also her and Anthony with parallel declarations that they would've noticed if someone in their house was Whistledown, even though it was Penelope, who until now, has lived across the street

Also also also: Francesca now dropping her own news that she's moving to Scotland Post-Haste

It is satisfying to see Penelope, Colin, Eloise and Lady Featherington all trying to sort out this Whistledown blackmail because they're all aware

"I will not cower to Miss Cowper. I will call upon her tomorrow. Bring her to see this course of action is ruinous for everyone involved." Good luck, Colin

HAHAHAHA again with the contrast of Benedict's family being in crisis while he is off Philandering: Bisexuality Edition

"You do not sound as if you hate Whistledown. You sound as if you are jealous of her." [Unconvincingly] "No I'm not."

Cressida making the sum twice as much + a nice review in Whistledown when Colin tries to empathize with her with his excellent man-free-for-world-travels and supportive family. I'm not gonna lie, kinda girlboss of her

HAHAHAHA Benedict has had no scenes in the past half an hour of Bridgerton but back-and-forths to him and Paul and Tilley. I love it. He's having a great night. They're leaving no doubt about him enjoying this

Also. Not to be bisexual myself. But Benedict being with a man and a woman at the same time is doing more for me than any other Bridgerton scene has ever done. It's a combination of vindication, being a Benedict girl, and the high of hot bi people. Bridgerton. I once again give you a little kiss on the mouth

"You are both adults. You may do as you wish. After all, it is not as though I asked your permission." I cannot believe Agatha is using this Are-You-Gonna-Date-My-Brother talk to confirm that she fucked Violet's dad. Unhinged. Incredible. What the hell!!

"I know my father was a good man. And that you have been a very good friend. And that is all I need to know." Not good enough to not cheat on his wife though, Violet! But I love the sentiment

"And my brother is a good man. And you are a good friend. And that is all I need to know as well." Awww, I do love a mirrored dialogue. I've said it before but Agatha and Violet's friendship is perhaps my favourite on this show

The zoom in on the Birthday hat was EVIL. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

"How do you stand society events?" "I suppose I have love to give in abundance. Love for a bit of chitchat. And love for a good party. Especially a party of three." Benedict is still a romantic at heart, even in a threesome pile

OMG HAS COLIN KEPT EVERY LETTER PENELOPE HAS EVER WRITTEN HIM? I LOOOVE

This does kind of get me thinking of how they handle garbage disposal in Georgian England

Finally the embezzlement funds from Cousin Jack come back to haunt them. The Featheringtons are never not in financial crisis

"What will Lady Whistledown write about our disgrace when I am exposed?" "She will write whatever I like her." "That is a agreat power. What a thing you have made for yourself." This is the most optimistic final take Lady Featherington could have on her daughter being an infamous gossip columnist

"It is my great hope that the silence and beauty of Scotland will allow me to know myself better, so that you can all know me better as well. I want nothing more than to be close." Francesca has such a good heart

"For a long time, I thought that is what love must be like for everyone. Surprising, forceful, quick. But you have shown me that there is another way. There is... beauty in the slow approach." You know what that is, Violet? That's growth! She's such a good mum

"May you now live together in holy matrimony until your dying breath." Ominous way to end their vows (book readers, tell me nothing!!)

What is the proper way to court a widow? I guess we'll find out!

"Lady Bridgerton, I see your openness reflected in Benedict, your charm in Colin, your wisdom in Eloise, and a brightness you've instilled in both Gregory and Hyacinth. In this moment, where I feel so much gratitude for my new wife, I feel it in equal measure for the remarkable woman who raised her. I thank you, all of you, from the bottom of my heart." Good speech John, I think you've really won the Bridgertons over

Francesca and John's wedding wins for most normal for sure

AW FRANCESCA AND VIOLET'S DUET. Something something complex relationships with your mother:

Also also also. Why are half the scenes in Bridgerton filmed like we're in somebody's pocket. Or in the flower vase. The huge blurs are distracting

"It is not what you do for me that makes me love you. It is your kindness. Your empathy. How much you care. Just being you is enough, Colin. I do not need you save me. I just need you stand by me." I'm glad Penelope is telling Colin this outright, he needed to hear it

"Tilley, you are extraordinary, but I am not certain that serious is what I want." Benedict is the only Bridgerton who knows how to communicate his feelings directly right away

"Is it because of Paul?" "No. Paul could be Patricia, or Polly, or Peter, or all three at once. What happened between the three of us, what has happened to me since I met you, has made me realize how good it feels to be free. You've opened my world. I am not ready to close it again just now." Benedict said: I gotta sow my wild bisexual oats, Tilley, I am not looking for a wife at present

We are BACK at the Bisexual and Lesbian Sibling Swingset. This is where I first grew so attached to Benedict and Eloise. It really is a full circle moment:

"It feels right now that the next thing I learn may change me entirely." "I agree profoundly with everything you've said, as I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about." Their dialogue is so fun

"We should not let so long pass again between us before we meet on these swings to be entirely confused together." BENEDICT. B AND E BEST SIBLING DUO

Lady Featherington saying she's proud of her daughters like it's been ripped out of her forcefully. She is so my mum-coded LMAO

"She calls upon my mercy, asking to address you all herself. To plead her case publicly, before I pass my judgment. So I turn the floor over now to the scribe herself." This is a very dramatic way to resolve the Lady Whistledown situation but I guess they did leave it til the last 20 minutes of the season

Also RIP Cressida, who is definitely being shipped off to Wales

"She seems humbled, but we will be watching that she remains so. What is life without a little gossip?" Wow, all took was 3 minutes of 'my bad, you're actually very brave for doing things where I can see them, I won't do it again xoxo' to win over the whole ballroom and the Queen. Power of Lady Whistledown, I guess!

HAHAHAHAHA THE BUGS THAT PHILIPPA LOVED SO MUCH BEING BUTTERFLIES. I WAS KIND OF HOPING THEY WERE SPIDERS (EVEN THOUGH THEYR'E ARACHNIDS) FOR THE COMEDY, BUT THIS IS MUCH CUTER

"You... are a genius." "I know!" Hee hee, go Featherington (or Dankworth-Finch, as it were) sisters

"There is only one person who loves the Bridgertons more than I." "You knew it was me." "I suspected. You are not the only lady of the ton who can keep a secret." YEAH AGATHA <3

"We can now tell that solicitor that money came from my writing. He will have no recourse. Time for us to do better." [Softly] "My girl." I wonder if Lady Featherington is gonna come clean and give the money back

"You have always had one voice. There is no separating you from Whistledown. And after seeing you speak today, well, I would not want to." AND it fixed her marriage. What a powerful speech

"If my only purpose in life is to love a woman as great as you, then I will be a very fulfilled man, indeed." "I love you. You are very good man, Mr. Bridgerton." I didn't buy the forgiveness because it feels super rushed, but I do buy this

"Francesca Bridgerton. Kilmartin. Kilmartin is my name now." Ggkhkgjhgkjhg why is Francesca so flustered by Michaela Stirling? Is she also gonna go down a sexuality journey?? Not the sibling I anticipated!! Also does them introducing a new character mean the story will follow Eloise and Francesca in Scotland

Also wait wait wait. IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE FRANCESCA'S (BOOK SPOILERS THAT I HAVE VAGUELY OBTAINED) OTHER LOVE INTEREST? OH MY GOD

"Only until next year. Do you think Mama would ever let me miss her Masquerade Ball?" WEE OO WEE OO I KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT THE BOOKS TO KNOW THAT THAT MEAN'S BENEDICT'S NEXT BABEYYYYYYY

You know, I kept thinking about how Penelope had lost a titled match for Colin, who is the third son, and it turns out they do get to have a little baby Lord Featherington! And she gets to pass on her family name. I love that for Penelope:

What this season lacked in pacing, it more than made up for in gusto, Bisexual Bridgertons, really powerful and satisfactory friendships, a ton of Bridgerton family interactions, and more than enough romance to keep me giggling and kicking my feet for days. Honestly, it might be my favourite season, for little to do with the main couple, everything to do with the drama and excitement and fun dialogue of it all. I do really keep enjoying this show!! Every part of Bridgerton is good after S1 LOOOOL. KEEP 'EM COMING BABY!

[wearelondonhq]

AGATHA ALL ALONG + WANDAVISION MEME SET

Happy Meme Day!!! If you want to take part all you have to do is reblog this post. Remember if you reblog to send them out to EVERYONE who also does. Lasts from today up until the next wednesday (the 13th of november)!

“what were you looking for in my house?”

“the respect of your peers and a fulfilling home life. but you were fresh out of both.”

"you're so much like your mother."

"the world isn’t kind to little girls who don’t know their place."

"we are an unusual couple, you know?"

"this world you made will always be broken."

"this is your only warning. stay out of my home."

"we are not in control here."

"everything is meaningless without you."

"you can fix anything, mama."

"we've said goodbye before. it stands to reason that we will say hello again."

"i only remember feeling completely alone. empty. just… endless nothingness."

"_, welcome home."

"i read somewhere that it’s bad luck to say goodbye in the dark."

"i’m not a monster. i’m a mother."

"i just feel you."

"i just wanted to see you clearly."

"this is chaos magic, _"

"i’m tired of hiding."

"you have no idea what you’ve unleashed."

"you didn’t think you were the only magical girl in town, did you?"

"i can’t control this pain anymore, and i don’t think i want to."

"this is our home now. i want us to fit in."

"so long, darling."

"we’re not going anywhere."

"this is our home, then let’s fight for it."

"you don’t get to make that choice for me."

"you’re not my neighbor, and you’re definitely not my friend."

"you asked me to stay, so i’m staying."

"there are rules in life, we can’t just rush aging."

"is this really happening?"

"you’re not supposed to talk."

"thank you for choosing me to be your _."

"they’ll never know what you sacrificed for them."

"i’m beginning to think we should have stayed in bed."

"i’ve kept you safe in here. you feel at peace."

"if you stay here, you’ll die. it’ll be just like _ all over again."

"we can’t reverse death, no matter how sad it makes us."

"what is grief, if not love persevering?"

"i have what i want, and no one will ever take it from me again."

"you are my sadness, and my hope. but mostly, you’re my love."

"you can’t control me the way you do them."

"gosh, you really are a _. otherwise, none of this would be nearly as dramatic."

"honestly, I don't know how to feel. do I hate her? or do I want her phone number?"

"no one in history has had special treatment like you."

"no! i want more time! i want more time!"

"i'm thinking death by a thousand cuts."

"a long time ago, i loved someone. and I had to do something that I did not wanna do, even though it was my job. and it hurt them. she is my scar."

you can find a couple more options below the cut!

"i mean, seriously. we're an album cover waiting to happen."

"hey, you want straight answers, ask a straight lady."

"see, I feel like you've typecast me as the mouthy teen who didn't actually kill the victim but is guilty of some other b-story crime."

"you haven't been yourself the past few days. almost like you got bit by the true crime bug."

"congratulations, my love. i'm sorry I didn't have a ribbon for you to run through."

"you seem relaxed. usually at this point you're either complaining loudly or freaking out loudly."

"stop embarrassing me in front of my friends."

“witches like you are the reason people think we poison apples, steal , and eat .”

"i watch you, _. just as closely as you watch everyone else.

"are you really defending a noted serial killer, you creepy lurker?"

"i have always hated you. but I left you alone, because what you were doing is important."

"last one there is a nice person."

"i let them believe these things about me because the truth is too awful."

"sweetheart? you okay? oh my god! whoa, what’s she doing? where’s she going?"

"we'll be safe as kittens."

"the moral of the story, kids, IS always finish what you started. also, mercy is overrated.”

“may she be smart. not annoying. and also not… SUPER political.”

"i thought you were reading my palm."

“this is undignified. don’t you want me at my best?”

“are there any real witches in the house? because all i see are has-beens and could’ve-beens.”

"what can i say? i like the bad boys."

“did you know she traded her own child for the book of the damned?”

“they can take your power, _, but they can’t take your knowledge.”

“a witch is really just another name for a bad girl, right?”

“that is extremely reductive.”

"i let them believe these things about me because the truth is too awful."

“we’re alive. we made it through the first test. everyone is safe.”

“not everyone. _’s dead. "who’s _?”

“okay, so, confession. i know an egregious amount about you. i’ve been obsessed since i first read up on your _ days.”

“what a team of rejects. coward. fraud. disappointment. i’d say you should burn like the rest of them, but that would be a waste of kindling.”

“the road promises that what’s missing awaits you at its end. power is what i’m missing. sounds like it’s what you’re missing too.”

“it’s giving ‘middle-aged second chance at love’ vibes, and i’m here for it.”

[sailorblossoms-snowbaz]

I was thinking about roles with the main four and it seems so intentional that Agatha and Baz are the ones who explicitly voice wanting to escape fate and they do it in the presence of the other, if not to each other. I think this is because, among the four, they have the worse fucking roles.

I mean, you have Simon. His role as a hero did bring him some happiness: he likes being useful, he likes feeling like he's "earning" his place in that word, like he's important. Like he matters. The heteronormative parts of being the male hero did make him miserable – he never truly wanted the girl, no matter how hard he tried, no matter how much he wanted the things that wanting the girl could give him, or the things the girl herself had: home, family, stability etc, etc. There's satisfaction with being a hero, and dissatisfaction with being a boyfriend. So that's 1/2

Penny enjoyed fighting by Simon's side. She loved it, even. The feeling of just the two of them against everything, able to do anything together. Her one grip was feeling like she's being dismissed or make to be as less-than – not a sidekick, but a dread companion. And they’re best friends. So that's like a 1.5/2

Agatha fucking hates being a damsel in distress, and with good reason. It sucks ass! Imagine your friends are always playing heroes while you’re always the bitch fearing for her life. Who always has to be rescued (whose safety depends entirely on others) who can't never help herself. Like Simon, she is also dissatisfied with being a girlfriend. So that's a solid 0/2. Just no fucking silver lining, nothing to turn to. No wonder she beats Simon in realizing there's no romantic love between them (and later, she even dispassionately tells us she's pretty sure the guy wasn't attracted to her) no relationship to save.

And then there’s the "villain." None of them are "nice," even if they're kind. Out of the four, Baz is the one with the softest heart, the most sensible, the one with a caretaker nature... and he's the one who has to play the bad guy. It plays such a big part in him being so depressed: to play a role that goes against his very nature. He doesn't even like being angry – it's so easy for him, to let go of his anger when he's no longer confined in this role. He can't even hold on to any sort of anger or negativity towards the numpties, despite the horrible ordeal they put him through. Baz is understanding toward them instead. Even from pretty early on, we see Baz would rather comfort Simon instead of taunting him. But he's "not allowed." It's not his role to play. It's no exaggeration to say this role would have killed him – and not coincidence either. We see him almost causing his own destruction. (Perhaps much to say about the “villain” knowing he's gay and the history of bad endings for queer-coded villains, and how they break out of those structures.) A fucking solid 0/2. No fucking silver lining whatsoever.

I also think it's no coincidence that the desire to be free is voiced out loud in a scene where "the love interest," who doesn't want to be Simon's love interest and who is not actually loved (romantically) by Simon, talks to the person who both loves and is loved by Simon (romantically). It's such an interesting choice (highlighted by Baz practically running from the idea of yet another comphet relationship while Agatha, freshly out of a comphet relationship, tries to catch up to him. Baz is not ready to stop believing in the lie of the golden fate yet, but he knows himself, and he can't actually force himself into a relationship he knows he doesn't want. Agatha no longer believes in the golden destiny, but she doesn't know herself yet, she's still pursuing things she doesn't truly want because she doesn't know what she wants. An important step in breaking out of roles is taken here)

[hexarcana]

**Aggie and her Dad stuff

**A Note about this, this is all kinda like?? Under the radar, like it's not exactly relevant to any main story things its just like **Me mindlessly justifying all of my decisions **It felt weird having Aggie's Dad be cruel for no reason, and I felt the need to dig deeper and this is where I landed. **Most of it isn't even common knowledge to Aggie! **It is still fully allowed to hate Aggie's dad for what he did. She certainly does!

A TLDR: David was extremely damaged by magical influences at the hands of Aggie's mom and future coven. The magic altered/damaged his mind and personality. He was forced to keep Aggie with him, despite the fact he was literally kind of afraid of her. By the time he died, he was on his way to being "back to normal" but he died without ever really clearing anything up with his child.

**Aggie has never referred to her Father as Dad or any other title besides his first name, which is David. She’d only ever call him her father when talking about him to someone else, ie “my father.” She also called him “Sir” a lot, especially when she was very little.

**He always referred to her as Agatha, or simply as “child” or “girl”

**David was actually born in Wales and lived there until he was a teenager, when he moved to the US. He still had an accent as an adult but it wasn’t super thick and he spoke so infrequently to other people that one might miss it. Even Aggie didn’t even realize in her childhood, she found out about him being Welsh after he died in the 1980s.

**When he came to America as a teenager he lived on Staten Island in NYC, which is where he lived when Aggie was born.

**David was a physician, more of a General Practitioner but he did the occasional psych evaluation.

**In his youth he enjoyed riding horses, reading (Especially mysteries and crime novels), and playing the violin. All things that Aggie didn’t know about until after his death.

**He was raised Catholic and remained so into adulthood. He brought Aggie to church with him nearly every Sunday. It was literally the only thing they would "do" together

**Aggie was born from a short affair between David and a patient of his, a woman named Lucinda Cross. She was classified is “Very Mentally Unwell” (Trying to keep it very not clinical to fit the tone of the source material) and David was charged with evaluating her for treatment, and much more than that happened. When it was discovered she was pregnant he was quietly moved to another hospital. She was discharged just before the baby was born. She tracked down David and she stayed with him until the baby was born. Once Aggie was born, he had her recommitted to another hospital. Eventually she was transferred to a different facility due to a decline in her condition, a place in New Jersey. David moved himself and his daughter whom he named Agatha (For Agatha Christie, actually! Aggie didn't know this until later in life.) to a small town in New Jersey about thirty minutes from the hospital. When Agatha was five, Lucinda passed away.

** NOTE, THE FOLLOWING IS NOT KNOWN TO AGGIE!!! All info from here is between you and me. Aggie has the story above, about her father sleeping with a patient and knocking her up. In her eyes he was the bad guy. BUT. He wasn’t, actually. Not really. He was a guy who ended up doing bad things.

**From the age of about 30 until Aggie was about 13/14, David was subjected to a startling number of spells, curses, and hexes. He was strung along through his entire adult life based on magic put on him starting that first day he met Lucinda for her evaluation. She was immediately taken with him, and formed a pretty intense attachment/obsession. He was a very serious man even before the spells, and he never would have done anything to endanger his patients or his career. He refused Lucinda’s advances and was going to arrange for her to see someone else but that’s when it started. The first "attacks" were spells for infatuation, obsession, devotion, etc. THIS is what brought the two together, not David taking advantage of a poor sick woman. It was actually quite the opposite.

**Lucinda's spells weren’t very strong at the time, she was weakened by her own failing health and she had been away from her coven for quite some time, so her spells didn’t last very long. One minute David would be entirely enthralled by her, the next he would be full of regret and confusion about the matter. It made him ill, gave him headaches, and resulted in him having big gaps in his memory. He gladly was reassigned, hoping to get away from her. He didn’t know she was MAGIC per se (he had some anxiety about her perhaps being a demon?), but there was something deeply deeply wrong with her and he didn’t want to be a part of it. But she was always on his mind, almost literally. She was in every dream he had, most of which were not very pleasant!!! Even from far away she had a hold on him through his dreams and eventually she showed up at his place, pregnant and much stronger with her magic after a quick visit with her coven. He opens the door to her and he is IMMEDIATELY put back under spell, stronger than ever. They were “together” through the rest of her pregnancy. She wanted to go back to the covens house to have the baby but in a rare moment of him not being fully under her spell (probably bc she was unable to concentrate on him bc of the uhhh active labor) he refused, and the child was born in their apartment.

**After the birth of her daughter, Lucinda’s magic became weaker and less stable. David was able to fight though a lot of her influence. Her mental health seemed to take a downturn too, postpartum depression for sure. For the child’s safety as well as his own, he had her recommitted. She would still haunt and invade his dreams but at least she wasn’t around him when he was awake. She would remain committed for the remainder of her life.

**David Yearling had decided in his 20s that he never wanted to be a father. He was uncomfortable around kids, preferring the company of adults even as a young boy. So when he found himself with a baby he not only didn't want, but he hardly remembers why he even has her, he decided it would be best to get her in the hands of a proper family to look after her. And he TRIED, he tried to put her up for adoption/bringing her to an orphanage, but some of the coven women intervened and whacked him with even MORE magic, forcing him to regard Agatha as something he couldn’t relinquish no matter how badly he wanted to. This spell combined with all Lucinda’s spells further deteriorated the man he’d once been, making him colder and colder, and unable to place his daughter in the care of a better parent.

**So basically, the spells he was under during Aggie's early childhood kept him tethered to Lucinda, as well as tethered him to his daughter. But by this point, it was extremely difficult for him to form attachments, so he couldn't even bond with the daughter he couldn't give up. He ended up hiring nannies to look after her.

**Lucinda's health deteriorated, and she was sent to a different hospital a ways out of the city. The hospital was located just outside the town of Glass shard Beach, New Jersey. Lucinda's magic made him follow her, which led him to buying a Cape May Victorian home, and establishing himself in town as a physician. Aggie was about three or four at the time.

**When Lucinda died (of TB), all of her spells died with her, but for David, the damage was done. After being hit with so many curses and spells which forced affection and love, the feelings simply didn’t exist anymore for him. He was a shell of the man he’d been, emotionally. He already hadn’t been the friendliest/nicest guy (He was far from evil or even being a bad guy he just wasn’t a people person outside of his medical practice. Had his life been normal he likely would have been a childless bachelor who probably has horses and a close circle of friends.)

**He wasn’t free of all the magic though, the coven ladies were still influencing him from a distance to keep Agatha around. (Within the coven there was a lot of debate about if they should just take Aggie or not, but the witch on top thought Agatha having a 'difficult' father would help her magic develop (since it often will be triggered by stress or danger) and in addition, it may foster a hatred for non-magic beings.)

**David maintained a distant relationship with his daughter. They were not affectionate or even nice to each other. The kindest he could be was simply leaving her alone. He did keep her fed and clothed, but he knew nothing about her, couldn't bring himself to even talk to her, really. Her eyes are exactly like Lucinda's were, and admittedly, she made him nervous.

**Additionally, David maintained distant relationships with most people. He couldn’t connect with people even if he tried. He did however, still have some physical needs. This led to him meeting and courting a woman named Ruth Anne. They never properly married, but she took up the role of stepmother anyway. This began one of the worst years of Aggie’s life, as Ruth’s Anne was legitimately pretty damn evil.

**From Aggies perspective David either didn’t care about the abuse Ruth Anne inflicted, or he didn’t notice. It was sort a mixture of both. The coven witches found Ruth Anne to be a great motivator, so they willed him to turn a blind eye to her cruelty. He also just… Couldn’t care, not the way he should. There was exactly one circumstance where he put his foot down with her and spared Aggie a particularly harsh punishment. Fighting back against the magic he was under made him very sick, so it was something he really couldn't do often.

**Aggie eventually drove Ruth Anne off when she was 10, approaching 11. The short version is Aggie retaliated against the abuse in a way that scared the shit out of Ruth Anne and she fled the house and never came back. Bizarrely, David didn’t seem to notice. In reality, he had but he just didn’t care. He was becoming aware of his lack of empathy and it was…Concerning. He stopped doing psychiatric care in practice but sought it out for himself. For the remainder of his time in GSB, he was seeing a therapist weekly to address the issues with his emotions, memory, and sleep. Meanwhile, the coven witches were seeing Aggie getting so close to unlocking her magic fully. So they pushed harder, and made David worse.

**In the last six months or so in GSB, David went from cool, indifferent, humorless and dry to agitated, volatile and unfortunately violent. The headaches, memory lapses and bad dreams drove him to drink, which made him even worse, though this nasty habit was a well guarded secret that Aggie didn't even really grasp.

**His abuse was never as cruel as Ruth Anne's had been, but he'd slap her or grab her by the arm and wrench her around. Things that went unpunished before now were punished severely. Breaking curfew, getting her clothes dirty and poor grades suddenly were at the top list of Aggie's worries. She’s never been fond of him and had been a little afraid of him but now she dreaded being near him.

**In the end, David's therapist (who he'd been seeing for years now, in secret) suggests that David move out of Jersey. Leave that part of the country behind and go somewhere entirely new. A sort of reset. He decided that would be best, so he started making plans to move somewhere across the country. The place he landed on was a little town in Oregon that was down a doctor. He made some arrangements for housing and a job, and early in Aggies teens he moved to Oregon, dragging Aggie behind him.

**Moving to Oregon finally freed him of the Coven's magic. Not only were they too far away, but thanks to Gravity Fall's natural weirdness, they magic got blocked out. The only magica linfluence around him was his daughter, and her magic was so weak and undeveloped that it didn't really do much for him at all. Though, he slept better. He chalked that up to the fresh Pacific NE air. Alas, even with all these changes it didn't really fix anything about his personality, but It did change one thing, which reared its head about a year into their time in GF.

**Aggie got into a fight with the child of a rich/well connected person and won. The kids parents were going to press charges but as a sort of settlement, David agreed to send her to a boarding school. He chose a Catholic Institution for "troubled girls" which was located up by the Canadian boarder. He sent her away and for the first time in over a decade, he had virtually no magic around him. It was at this point that finally, his mind began to start healing.

**It was a long process. First the negative side effects left him. The headaches, the memory lapses, the nightmares- they all left. He found himself able to enjoy things again. He played violin for the first time since before his daughter was born, he was reading for pleasure, he even bought a television. He never was quite right, but he was better that he'd been in a very long time.

**When Aggie came home she expected him to be cruel, but he just seemed tired and apathetic. He'd kept her room and possessions as they'd been, her box of letters and momentos from New Jersey sitting right where she'd left it on her bed. He was noticeably uncomfortable around her. She looked more like Lucinda now that she was nearing adulthood. He couldn't look at her, he tried not to talk about her. He honestly was afraid to ask her to leave, for fear that all the bad things would come back. Thankfully, she took care of it for him, though. A day after she came home, she'd fled. She stole some money and took a few of her own things. He chalked it up to a worthy price to pay.

**They never saw each other again. David continued to live and work in the area until his health began to fail. Sometime in the 1980s, he died. Aggie returned to the Oregon house to get all the affairs in order. It shouldn't have been that surprising considering she was his only surviving family, but she was left the house and his entire estate. She went from being on the brink of homelessness with her child to suddenly being set for the rest of her life. As she and Bobby explored the house, she found that once again, he'd left everything of hers as it was.

**She didn't move into the house until Bobby was finished with grade school in the early 90s. She went through a lot of his things and made all these discoveries about him, but she never really grasped just how tortured and unwell he was. To this day she still holds his memory with bitterness in her heart. Maybe someday she'll figure out the full truth. But WE know it so that's cool

[studyinspectrum]

Murder on the Orient Express, adapted for the stage by Ken Ludwig, directed by Risa Brainin, performed at the Minneapolis Guthrie Theater

Ah, the theatre. I'm the type of person that spells it "Theatre" too, which is still technically correct in US English, because it got stuck in my brain in high school and never left. It's just in my muscle memory now and I'm not going to excise it anytime soon.

Anyway, I love the theatre. I had a fit last summer when I listened to 29/37 of Shakespeare's plays, not really feeling the vibe to listen to this historical plays because I don't exactly have that preexisting historical knowledge to enjoy them (they're very dry too, but that's beyond the point right now). I think live performances of all kinds are a lot of fun and can showcase how powerful the stories we tell can be.

I saw Hamlet at the same theatre the week before I came to see Murder on the Orient Express, so my Shakespeare tangent is appropriate. The Guthrie Theater is one of the greats of Minneapolis/Minnesota institutions, it's hard to ignore the building, half due to it's shape, but also because it's right on the river among a bunch of historic buildings, including the Mill City Museum (one of my favorites). I feel like every major US city has "The Theater" capital T and T, where you go to see some big productions, and that's the Guthrie for Minneapolis. There's plenty of smaller theatres in the city that I still patronize, but my housemate got our household tickets for Christmas for some shows, and as we're all big fans of stage productions in this house, we were all excited to go.

We all know this story, we know the author, we know it's a train. But not everyone knows it's ending. If you've never consumed the original book or adaptation of this story before, go do that first. For one, this play adaptation differs greatly enough that I think some original context will be missed in the content provided, but also, there's a reason this is a beloved story we adapt and retell hell over. It's just that good. Agatha Christie was just that Fucking good. the content warnings for Murder on the Orient Express are as follows: child death, child murder, miscarriage/death of the mother resulting in loss of the unborn child, kidnapping, racism, references to suicide, references to eugenics, murder, blackmail, drug abuse

you know this story

If you're someone under the age of 100 years old and has spent any time in the western world, you probably know that Murder on the Orient Express exists and who Agatha Christie is.

For documentation's sake, Murder on the Orient Express is a detective fiction novel written by Agatha Christie that was first published on January 1st, 1934 in the UK. It was published about 2 months later in the US under the name "Murder in the Calais Coach". This was due to the novel Stamboul Train by Graham Greene originally published in 1932 in the UK had it's title changed to "Orient Express" when published in the US.

Searching "Murder in the Calais Coach" is I think different enough of a title and this is an obscure enough fact that you'll more often than not get results about "Agatha Christie's premiere Poirot novel" and vintage copies of the book, like the one below I found on ebay.

I'm sure that everyone is familiar with the changing of titles across country lines, a trend that I believe has died out, save for titles with direct translations for example. There is probably a more well known title change with a Christie novel, that has gone under several revised titles over time. (Which is incidentally my favorite Christie novel. for better or for worse.)

But the premise of this story is well understood, Hercule Poirot, a Belgian detective, boards the titular Orient Express, where therein a murder takes place. The case that is presented to Poirot is the most challenging that he admits to ever undertaking, not just intellectually taxing, but taxing on his very soul.

This story has been adapted a million times since the book's original publication. This particular play adaptation by Ken Ludwig was originally performed in 2017 at the McCarter Theatre in Princeton, New Jersey. (Here's a really fun video interview with the costume designer for that original show, William Ivey Long, about his work on it)

Ken Ludwig has adapted several other plays, and especially notable to me, Baskerville: A Sherlock Holmes Mystery, which is billed as comedy. I think that in that context, it makes sense for how his adaptation of the play shook out. We'll talk about that later. it's not a christie novel without a colorful cast

The original story's cast includes 17 unique characters and 12 of which are suspects in the murder of the victim. In a book format, this works for the story being told I think. 12 suspects is a lot of people to have to keep track of. If you expect to keep track of all the suspects of a mystery story, a sweet spot number is around 5-6. You can push it as high as 10, but just so long as you can cut that down pretty quickly. It's hard to have an audience keep up with all possibilities and what makes it less fun of a game/whodunnit that we love about these kinds of stories.

Christie's work does trend on having a higher amount of suspects, to heighten the drama of the story. The way that Christie deals with these high suspect counts is to make every character incredibly unique. She excels at doing this quite honestly, especially in Murder on the Orient Express. There is an even split of men and women, every character's occupation is different, their nationalities are all different, etc. You are never going to confuse a character for another because their characterization is always incredibly strong.

The play adaptation cuts the amount of characters in the story from 17 to 12, and the suspect list from 12 to 8. Like I said earlier, the less amount of suspects to keep track of during a mystery, the better. But there's a more logical reason for this too, stages are smaller than you think. If in the final scene of the show all 12 of the original characters in their original ways were present, there would be 15 people on stage at the same time. While there's no high octane action to choreograph about, 15 people is much harder to manage as opposed to the 10 that were on stage in the final scene.

So in this adaptation, certain characters have been cut or condensed into others. They do reference the additional characters that where present in the original, however it felt like a way to satisfy those who are familiar with the original story, rather than straight up omitting their existence.

The characters of the play are as follows:

Princess Dragomiroff, played by Michelle Barber

Countess Adrenyi, played by Katie Bradley

Mary Debenham, normally played by China Brickey, in my performance the role was played by Adelin Phelps

Greta Ohlsson, played by Jane Foriland

Colonel Arbuthnot, played by Peter Christian Hansen

Samuel Rachett, played by Peter Christian Hansen

Michel, played by Robert Johansen

Monsieur Bouc, played by Gavin Lawrence

Hercule Poirot, played by Andrew May

Hector MacQueen, played by Tyler Michaels King

Helen Hubbard, played by Sally Wingert

The characters that would be notably missing from this list are as follows:

Dr. Stavros Constantine, his role as the doctor onboard the train has been added to Countess Adrenyi. She is a successful Hungarian doctor who married into royalty.

Count Rudolph Andreny, he is mentioned as still being married to Countess Adrenyi, but played as a mere legal attachment rather than a devoted couple.

Antonio Foscarelli, he was the Armstrong family driver, completely omitted.

Cyrus Hardman, lover of the nurse to the Armstrong family, omitted, however the nurse's existence and suicide is still referenced.

Hildegarde Schmidt, was the cook of the Armstrong family, talked about by Princess Dragomiroff, however only to disparage her for not being able to help her on the train. Greta Ohlsson takes over her role within the story as temporarily being the assistant/maid to the princess.

Edward Henry Masterman, Col. Armstrong's batman during the war. His character has been omitted, with the role as Rachett's valet rolled into Hector MacQueen's role.

cutting some characters and combing them is not a bad move in my opinion. The distinctions the characters carry in the story just become more distinct with their additional aspects pulled from other characters. Countess Adrenyi as the train's doctor becomes very compelling and how her role becomes much more important to the plot than it was before, where she is portrayed as a waif and her husband acts in her stead. The nastiness of Princess Dragomiroff is toned down as she now has an irregular person as her maid/assistant, she often becomes a voice of reason and keeps a lot of the other characters grounded.

Colonel Arbuthnot in the play was changed from an Englishman to a Scotsman, for some reason, however if you look at the cast list above, you can see that Rachett and Arbuthnot were played by the same person in this production. Rachett and Arbuthnot having very distinct accents and mannerisms help give the impression that they are two different people. Rachett, the murder victim, is instead presented as a dummy in the bed when he is examined so that the actor playing Arbuthnot can be present in all further scenes.

so what about the play itself?

It's funny.

I really wasn't expecting that to be so, but there was so much comedy baked into all the character interactions it was almost slapstick in how they played out. Poirot's neuroticism that you would expect of him are toned down but the ones that are there are played for laughs. All the characters are funny too, save for Rachett for obvious reasons. But in the middle of the murder investigation, while Poirot, The Countess, and Bouc are in the same room as Rachett's dead body, me and the audience were all genuinely laughing at the lines.

This was totally unexpected. I've read the original book twice, I've watched the 2017 movie with Kenneth Branagh, I've watched the TV movie from 2010 with David Suchett, I've also watched the 1974 movie with Albert Finney except I was really drunk when I watched the version so I don't really remember it all that much and probably turned it off halfway through,

The point is, I've consumed this story A Lot. All of them are incredibly dramatic and tense, the atmosphere oppressive and suspicious. This play… wasn't that. But it wasn't a bad take on the story I think. The jokes weren't distasteful or out of line, they were always contextual to the story and helped break the tension of the situation.

The original story is incredibly dark and emotional. That aspect stays in, all the plot elements stay in as intended and are represented accurately. But the ways that the characters act, interact with each other, quip with each other, are so unique and silly sometimes you can't help but crack a smile if not laugh. It's never hysterical laughter, but the humor keeps the story bright and approachable while the past events and darker plot elements creep up around the main cast.

The humor perhaps helps make the darkness feel that much darker, the swings from high emotions of laughing at how Poirot fake laughs to disarm the people he's interviewing, to three minutes later in a dark low where the interviewee talks about how the Armstrong case caused them and the people close to them irreparable harm. You have fun, but then feel that tension in your chest as you remind yourself why they're all here.

There are moments where Poirot breaks the 4th wall and addresses the audience, with his deeper thoughts about what's going on, the inferences and connections he's making. The characters replay out the events that they witnessed, stating their lines again for the sake of the audience to illustrate the though processes and clues that Poirot is reviewing.

There is also a romantic subplot with Poirot and Countess Adreyni. Probably my favorite part of the script is in this part:

POIROT. If I asked you to leave your husband and come away with me to Monte Carlo, what would you say? COUNTESS. I would say give me five minutes, I need to pack.

Poirot never marries, though has a long homoerotic tension with Captain Hastings, his best friend from Scotland Yard, if you are consuming the stories through a queer lens. This subplot is more played for a joke than something real, but it leads to some really neat character interactions between Poirot and the Countess that I don't think have ever been explored in this way before.

It seems to be Ken Ludwig's style to add humor to tense situations, from his interview on Baskerville: a Sherlock Holmes Mystery with the Washington Post, he had this to say:

“You’re not making fun of the genre, [but] at the same time, there’s a lot of laughs, because they come out of the tension,” the playwright says.

And I feel that to be the same about Murder on the Orient Express. You're tense because there's a danger facing down all of the characters in the situations they've found themselves in, trapped on a train with a murderer, if the tension breaks because of some funny character acting, then you laugh! The man knows what he's doing.

what about the set? the sounds? the sights?

Oh budddyyyy the set!!

There is a "in front of the curtain" set that a lot of plays do, but use these beautiful painted wood panels that have images projected on them to give the impression of the scene. The behind the curtain set is very impressive. It makes up the dining car in one part, and three of the sleeping cabins. Like a train, the cars slide and move, like a train car would, moving along the train as if viewing it through a cross section. Obviously it'd mean more to see the set in person, but you can see part of in these photos:

The show made use of projections and screens to help convey the extra elements of the set, such as projecting snowfall beyond the windows. The show makes good use of ambient music, sound effects of the train moving, recordings, for an experience that really does suspend the disbelief. It was minimal, but still enough to transform the story for the stage. review?

I liked it. There's a reason this story is so beloved and adapted 90 years later. While I enjoyed the humor, I think the punches felt less punchy, but when you already know the twists to the story, I think it was still very appropriate. My housemates forgot the twist at the end or had fallen asleep before the end of the movie and enjoyed the plot twist.

It's a really cool show, technically impressive, acted incredibly well, and unexpectedly funny. Ken Ludwig made some really different kinds of choices in his particular adaptation of the story and they all panned out successfully. But that's just my opinion, what do other people think?

From Broadway World (St.Paul/Minneapolis):

May utilizes every moment he has on stage (and he has a lot of it) as he truly embodies the detective that has become so etched in people's minds. Injecting moments of hilarity, only endears the audience to him more fully. As he seems to come closer and closer to revealing his suspect, May goes full out with giddiness and comedy. A far cry from the dramatic portrayal that most viewers in the audience will be familiar with by Kenneth Branagh. Rounding out the production's "leads" is the show's director, Risa Brainin who had crafted a marvelous night at the theater. It is not an easy feat, to direct a show that has hundreds of moving pieces and she has done a sublime job.

From Star Tribune:

The cast clearly is having fun and standouts include Bradley as the curt and professionally courteous countess, Froiland as the overdone Greta and Wingert as the loud, bawdy and unabashedly Minnesotan Helen Hubbard. Kudos also to Hansen, for showing range in his dual roles as the Scottish colonel and the deserving murderee, to Lawrence as the benevolent caretaker and to Barber as the grand princess. "Murder" answers a question that gets asked from time to time: How can you make entertainment about murder when, in the real world, events around such crimes bring such heartbreak? That's because the world in this "Murder" is ridiculously self-contained and the characters are over-the-top. And as all the clues of this whodunit become a puzzle, your mind gets locked into solving it, thereby offering an escape on a throwback train journey.

so what now?

Well, the show is still ongoing and if you're in the Minneapolis area and will be here at the Guthrie from May 13 - July 2, 2023. This play is likely being performed in other places too and if it's in your area, I recommend seeing it if you can!

Also, if you'd like to put on the show yourself, you can also order the script or request a license to put on the show yourself if you like via Ken Ludwig's website.

There's something I never really intentionally considered trying to do with mystery my own mystery stories is try to make them funny. I enjoy writing comedy into all of my stories, but I never thought about them in depth as a tool to control how the audience feels and lead them along the journey of the story. Being able to witness this play performed was a really good experience for things to think about in my own work going forward.

I probably won't want to write plays, I think I'm not that good at visualizing how people move around a stage, but I might pick up a copy of the play to just do a fun table read with my friends in the future.

[thenightling]

The most misogynistic / agist review of Agatha All Along I've come across

Okay, there's a lot to unpack here but I'll try to address what I can about this ...person's review of Agatha All Along episode 4.

He has it in his head that being a witch = evil by default. This seems rooted in casual sexism since he never saw Doctor Strange as evil. Even though he uses the title of "Sorcerer" he is still a witch. Witch actually is a unisex term despite what pop culture has taught us. And no, Warlock, doesn't mean "male witch." It actually comes from "Oath breaker." Yes, some of the witches are morally grey and need some growth and development but that makes them interesting. It doesn't make them "Evil" by default. 2. He mocks the "old woman on the triangle because she obviously has no musical talent." He... he is trolling, right?!? That's Broadway icon Patti Lupone. The whole reason they have her just playing a triangle is kind of a joke because she is the most musically incline cast member. 3. He keep referring to Rio as a demon. He's figured out who "Teen" is (Wiccan) but he think Rio is a demon. I'm about 90% sure she's death. 4. He keeps making digs at the character's ages and the lack of action and yet most Marvel fans are burnt out on sky beams and CGI action battles. Also no one took cheep shots at Tony Stark's age. HIs actor was older than Agatha Harkness's actress. This is sexism based agism. 5. He actually seems almost offended that there's lesbianism or queerness in this show. He sort of references that annoying South Park meme of "Put a chick in it and make it gay." Wiccan being gay is comic book canon. He was gay since his inception. Death is also not straight. And Agatha has been at least queer coded since the 70s. She was "in the broom closet" while working for the Fantastic Four as their nanny. (Get it? Broom Closet?) It was about her witchiness but you can see the metaphor. She was an old unmarried woman with no suggested interest in men. (at least when she started). I hold Trey Parker and Matt Stone personally accountable for the spread of the most annoying homophobic and sexist meme so that now any time a character is implied to be queer, or if there's a woman hero, it's treated like corporate pandering instead of... You know... being faithful to the source material. Frankly, I think of Agatha All Along is a breath of fresh air. Yes, the characters are all middle aged women and one queer boy but so what? That's pretty much the cast of the pilot of The Golden Girls. Speaking of which, ever since the line "Gothic Golden Girls" was uttered in Hocus Pocus 2 I have wanted a TV show of middle aged witches living together and their adventures and this is pretty damn close to that show I fantasized about.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNrRG7Cov_0)