#but alas we're all suffering here

[ettadunham]

sometimes i remember the hunger games and how nobody actually paid attention to what was in those books

[monalisahyperdrive]

Primarch names from least moanable to the most moanable - entirely subjective.

Factors taken into account:

Name length

How easy it is to say

General vibes ('imagine having sex with a guy and having to moan gilbert')

I wrote this instead of sleeping. I don't know either. This is getting posted and I will probably never address it again if I don't delete it during my break tomorrow. I should not be given internet access past 11pm.

Perturabo

It pained me to put him all the way down (up?) here at the least moanable as I fear he may actually be one of my favourites, however... I am not delusional enough to ignore that not only is this a pretty long name, a good amount of people struggle not only to say it but to even spell it. Not at all dyslexia friendly. I would give it a good go but I feel like in order to enjoy yourself you kind of have to accept you will be calling him 'Perty' or 'Bo' or whatever you prefer.

Sanguinius

Sanguinius fans please spare me but this is a long ass name at 3? 4? syllables. I don't even know what you could call him for short instead. However, I don't doubt that it's entirely possible, I just think it would take a while to stop stuttering through.

Mortarion

Another long name. Are you sensing a pattern yet? I am. More moanable due to having less vowels than Sanguinius and less harsher (?) consonants like in Perturabo. Pretty middle of the road, easy to pronounce, could probably be easier if you just start calling him 'Morty' instead.

Alpharius / Omegon

Alpharius is again another longer name that I feel like I would trip over for a good couple weeks. I am NOT shorting it to Alpha. I must maintain my dignity, whatever crumbs of it remain. Omegon is an easier name - likely due to it having less syllables (3 rather than 4). However, I feel like the only way to shorten it would be 'Meg' and that would make me laugh and I would get distracted. Remember how I said this is subjective? This is why.

Jaghatai

3 syllables, easy enough to say, not a lot of vowels or harsher consonants to trip over. Incredibly doable, and I'm sure many have tried it. Hell, I'd certainly take a good stab at it.

Angron

Harsh G right in the middle, otherwise no complaints really. 2 syllables. Straight forward. You could certainly give it a good go.

Rogal

2 syllables - easy right? Wrong. Evil G right there in the middle again. Probably would have been higher (lower?) on the list if it was softened with maybe an H right after. Alas, it is not so.

Corvus

2 incredibly easy syllables. The V is a little evil (harsh) but with a relatively short name and a soft starting consonant I'm sure it's manageable. Best bird boy. Not much else to say.

Fulgrim

Although apparently a good chunk of people have given it a go - or at least his wives have - we're back to the G dilemma. Personally I'd suggest calling him 'Fulgie' - like Fergie but worse.

Konrad

Quite possibly the most normal name on the whole list. Konrad. Everyone can say Konrad. An easy two syllables with the harshest letter right at the start. Easy peasy.

Roboute

I actually don't know if this is 2 syllables or 3. I even went and looked on Reddit. Some people are saying Ro-Bou-Te, I've been reading it Ro-Boot. Either way these are easy, with the harshest sound being the T of all things. Either way I don't think moaning for poor long suffering Robert is too tricky.

Vulkan

Deceptively soft V and K. What a pleasant surprise. Anyone could moan this easily, and he'd probably be delighted.

Lion

Objectively this is incredibly easy, which is why it made it so high (low?) on the scale. However, I would argue moaning 'Lion' in full sincerity is somewhat hilarious. That sure is the name of an incredibly powerful (and unfortunately incredibly sexy) man.

Magnus

Easy to moan. Probably wouldn't mind if you gave it a go. Again, one of the easier names. I'm sure he'd be happy to tutor you on the subject.

Lorgar

Flows nicely, 2 short syllables, incredibly straight forward. Started mentally calling him 'Lorgie', never recovered.

Ferrus

Incredibly straight forward name. Ferrus, pronounced the same as Ferrous, like the iron tablets. Something something you should do it, it's medicinal.

Leman

Not at the top due to the time it took to decide whether it was Lee-man or Le-man (like lemon). Personal gripe, but if you've gotten this far down without understanding that I don't know what to tell you. Quick, easy, sure why not.

Horus

As much as I wish to be deeply spiteful and shove him somewhere unremarkable in the middle, I just can't do it. This is an easy name. Don't worry, if you struggle at all I'm sure he'd be willing to let you keep trying until you figure it out. Bastard.

[restinslices]

Everything

PJO Show Ares x Child!Reader (no gender specified)

Word count: 2459

Summary: Ares supposedly hates kids, so it’s really strange that he comes when you call. (Do not let the summary fool you, this is not fluff. Based on a dream I had a couple days ago. Warning for possible ooc Ares and brief mentions of abuse. Blink and you’ll miss it type shit)

“I don't wanna say”, Grover fingers fidgeted with each other as he purposefully avoided eye contact with you. 

“We're friends, right?”

“Of course!”

“Then you have to tell me! You spoke to my father, I gotta know what he said! What was he like? I bet he was really cool! Man, I wish I could've been there and talked to him”, you looked down at your shoes and added more misery to your face than was necessary. It was extremely childish and petty but Grover kept refusing to tell you what your father Ares was like. You had to know though. You doubted he brought you up, but you still wanted to know what he said and what he was like when he was just out and about. Grover had the opportunity to have a long talk with him and that was something you'd kill and suffer for. 

“I doubt you'd wanna do that” he mumbled, but you heard him. 

“Why'd you say that?” You asked. 

Grover refused to expound on what he meant… at first. 

Everyone knew Grover couldn't hold water so it didn't take too much prodding before he spilled his guts. 

The memory replayed in your head more than you'd like to admit, and if it were up to you, you'd no longer be a half blood. 

It made you feel pathetic. Tons of gods- no. All the gods were shitty parents. After all, they had children with mortals and left the children on Earth, knowing they'd be hunted down. Plenty of half bloods died in a gruesome painful way and at a young age. Plenty of gods never claimed their children, even if they made it to Camp Half Blood. But Ares did claim you, so you assumed that that meant he cared for you in some way. He even gifted you with a double sided sword. Surely, he must've loved you. 

You were foolish and you hated how foolish you were. You should've known he didn't care. He left you here with mortals and watched as your home life got worse and worse which was due to multiple factors including a piss poor mother and step family, the aura children of Ares give off that makes people around them experience rage and of course the random monster attacks that your family blamed you for. It was as if they thought you begged Ares to be his child. As if you'd ever do something as stupid as that. 

The rain soaked through your hood, making your hair all wet and gross. You were an idiot. You tried coming home for the school year, thinking maybe your family changed. They said they did. They tended to lie a lot though. You got into a huge fight and stormed out and you were in such a hurry that you completely forgot to grab your pouch full of drachmas and you didn't wanna step another foot in that house. So now here you were, outside with freezing cold hands that couldn't be warmed because your hoodie was soaking and you couldn't call Chiron. Perfect.

You checked your pockets once again, hoping to find something other than the lighter and fruit roll up that was there but alas, nothing magically appeared. You held the two objects in your hand and an idea formed in your mind. 

You could always set the fruit roll up on fire as an offering. You could pray to your father and hope he hears you and sends you something to help. 

No. That's incredibly stupid. Could you even light a fruit roll up on fire? It didn't matter. Not only was that the stupidest offering ever but you refused to pray to him. You'd rather sleep out in the rain then sneak inside when your family was gone to get your shit. 

You put the two objects in your pocket and let your head rest on your knees, exhaustion hitting. It wasn't even physical exhaustion. It was all mental and emotional. Like a leech was sucking on you constantly. Or a vampire. You'd prefer that. At least you'd die quicker. 

The hum of a motorcycle filled your ears, getting closer and closer. Best case scenario, it was a neighbor. Worst case scenario, it was a murderer. Honestly, you'd welcome both. 

The hum stopped and a familiar voice made you look up, “rough night”. 

It was him. Ares. God of war. Father to who knew how many. It was someone you definitely did not want to see… or so you thought. Part of you absolutely despised him now and everything to do with him and wanted to rip him apart. The other part of you though still felt an immense amount of joy when you saw him and you wanted to cling to him like a child clings to its favorite toy. If you were alone, you would've screamed. 

Then a thought crossed your mind. You didn't burn anything. You didn't make an offering. 

“You were going to” he said, seeming to read your mind. 

“Why are you here?” you managed to get out after some time of just staring at him. 

“Why do you think I'm here?” he asked and you could tell by his tone he meant it sarcastically. Like “the reason is so obvious. Stop being stupid”. 

Something about that sarcastic and irritated tone made you think back to what Grover told you. 

“Why don't you like me?” You asked and you hadn't meant to. It was supposed to stay in your head. 

He squinted his eyes at you and looked you up and down, “what?”. 

You could've let it go. You could've said nevermind, thanked him and let him help. You couldn't though. You didn't know when you'd have this chance again (the camp visited them but damn, there was a lot of you) and if you did something to make him not like you, you wanted to fix it. But that wasn't your job, right? Parents are supposed to care for their kids. 

You did that a lot. Your mind juggled opposite thoughts and it drove you insane. This was just the latest bit of juggling you'd been doing. 

“Grover said he spoke to you-”

“Who is Grover?”

“Percy's friend. The satyr”. A look of anger flashed in his eyes. You knew he remembered Percy. You didn't give him time to start yelling about the 12 year old that beat him in a fight. “Grover said that he spoke to you. I asked what it was like and he said that you said that you hate kids. Even your own. And when we visit, it's the worst day of the year. So, I was just wondering why you don't like me. Is it something I've done?”. 

Ares just rolled his eyes and sighed, “you're taking that personal?”. 

“It's kinda hard not to”. 

“I came to take you back to camp, not talk about whatever crisis you're having right now”. 

You didn't know if you were angry because of what he said, or because of his effect on others. Either way, blood started rushing to your head. “I'm not asking for a lot. I'm asking for an answer. A simple answer. Why don't you like me?”

“I don't like any of my kids”

“And that makes it better?” You asked in disbelief. Ares just stared at you, emotion void on his face. 

“Why do you do this? You keep having kids even though you hate them. Why?”. 

“It's not that simple and I don't have to explain anything to you”. You wished he'd show emotion. Any sliver of it. He was too calm, too numb. You'd prefer him yelling at you but nothing seemed to phase him. He was talking to you the same way you'd talk to a toddler. 

“It is incredibly simple. Just stop having sex with mortals. You already have Aphrodite -who is a married woman but whatever-” you rushed the last part. You didn't particularly care for the affairs between the gods. “How could your eyes possibly wander?”. 

Seeing him show a sliver of anger when you mentioned Aphrodite only filled you with more rage. That’s what angered him? That’s what got emotion out of him? “Really? That's what gets you? What about me being drenched?”

“You chose to come out here” he said through gritted teeth. If you knew Aphrodite was the key to him showing any piece of human emotion, you would've brought her up earlier. 

“I didn't choose this!” Your voice rose, “I didn't choose to be abandoned by my father and be stuck with a dysfunctional family for the rest of my life. You should be angry at that, not me mentioning Aphrodite. You should be enraged at the thought of anyone putting their hands on me and your hands should be covered in their blood! That is how it should be”. 

“Believe it or not the gods aren't too keen on the idea of killing mortals”

“But turning them into various objects and ruining their lives when it's a boring Tuesday is ok?”. His face went back to being blank and emotionless and your plan to stop talking was scrapped. You weren't even sure what you wanted. You wanted him to show something besides anger. Sadness? Regret maybe? Just something to show that maybe, just maybe, he cared deep down and regretted leaving you. 

“None of us asked for this. You all just decide to create and leave us. And you hating the people you created is… I don't know. And it's so stupid that I've spent years of my life trying to get you to be proud of me, only for it to be impossible!”. 

“I claimed you didn't I?” he defended himself, but you scoffed. 

“That's the bare minimum dad! That's like saying your kids should be grateful because you feed them!” You were full on screaming by now and you wouldn't have been surprised if a neighbor came out to see what the fuss was about. “I don't even know why I'm having this conversation with you. You probably hate being called 'dad’ and you don't care. You're never gonna get it”

“I try everyday to make you see me and you do everything in your power to not see me. To not see any of us. I would work myself to death for you. I would betray anyone close to me for you. If you asked me to burn down the world for you, I would. If you asked me to extinguish the sun, I'd find a way to because to me… to me you were everything. You are everything”. 

You couldn't tell if your face was wet from the rain, or from tears of sorrow and anger. It could've been both. Your eyes certainly stung and you hated it. You knew you had every right to be frustrated, but you hated how weak it made you feel. The children of Ares weren't supposed to cry. They were supposed to be headstrong and fight their enemies. They were supposed to be fierce warriors capable of bringing armies down to their knees. They were meant to shed blood, not tears. 

You thought for a second you saw an emotion cross his face. You couldn't pinpoint it though. It happened too fast and there was a good chance you were imagining things. 

“You can go. I'd rather sleep in the rain. I wouldn't wanna be even more of a burden” you spat with such venom you didn't know it was possible. Sure, you could have a bit of a temper but this felt different. It wasn't just anger or annoyance. There was a mix of grieving. 

It went silent for awhile, and the adrenaline you felt slowly went down. Reality started to sink in. You just yelled at a god. People who were known to cause destruction for something as small as “I think my shoes are better than yours”. 

“Are you gonna curse me? Or, I don't know, strangle me with my own shoe laces?”. Ares reached into his pocket and you looked away and closed your eyes. You expected to feel a burning sensation. That's what you assumed being cursed was like. A burning sensation and then you'd lose a limb or something. 

All you felt was something land on your lap. You looked down and saw a red pouch with gold string keeping it closed. You looked up at him, but he didn't say anything. You untied the string and opened the pouch and inside laid a pile of drachmas. 

Now he spoke, “call Chiron or whoever else works at that camp. Don't die out here”. 

“You're leaving?” You asked. You didn't know why you were disappointed. You should've been happy. After all, you just went off on him about how shit he was. 

“I have a busy schedule”. You wanted to ask if he'd be seeing the married woman he slept with or another unfortunate mortal, but you figured you pushed your luck enough today. 

“Thanks uhh…” you debated on calling him dad but instead you called him by his name. “Ares”. Then you remembered some gods could be particularly upset when you used their name. “God of war and all those other honorifics”. 

“Yeah” was all he said before he sped off, leaving you alone once again. You didn't know what he was saying “yeah” to but you didn't have enough time to ask and he probably wouldn't even answer. 

You called Chiron and asked to be brought back to camp but you didn't tell him about the conversation you had with Ares. 

You couldn't get the conversation out of your head, even after you showered and laid down to finally get some rest. 

Of course you kept thinking about the conversation and how lucky you were Ares didn't throw you into the street and run you over. 

Another thing stayed on your mind though. 

You didn't give an offering. You were told the gods would listen if you burned something that mattered, like the thickest piece of meat on your plate. You weren't sure they were actually listening and honestly you thought it was a real asshole condition. 

All you had was some stupid candy and you didn't even burn that and the minute you thought about it, he appeared like he was already watching. 

But you doubted he was watching. You doubted he listened to your prayers at all. 

You were one of his children which was something he hated. He'd claim you, possibly send a gift then be done with you. He didn't listen to you anymore. He didn't watch over you anymore. 

It was a coincidence. That's all it was. 

You were sure of it. 

At least, you tried to be. 

This is definitely ooc Ares but YA’LL KNOW I’M A LITTLE FUCKING SLOW! BE PATIENT WITH ME GOTDAMMIT😭 If you saw any errors, no you did not. I already proofread it once and I don’t feel like doing it again like I typically do. It’s 1am. I should be asleep.

[therealvinelle]

Would Carlisle/Alphard work? (Platonic or romantic)

... curse tumblr for I had drafted my reply to you. ALAS.

No.

Carlisle is not for Alphard

Alphard is an extremely cynical person who admires Tom Riddle for his strength and infallibility. Tom is the most extraordinary person in the room at any given time, and always true to himself. As far as Alphard is concerned Tom is a demigod among men, the sort of natural force who doesn't live by the same rules the rest of us do and wanting him to change is the last thing on Alphard's mind.

Would he admit this to Tom's face, never, Tom has enough of an ego. Alphard will call him a lunatic and ridiculous, and mean every syllable. Did he fall in love with a violent lunatic with impure blood who was beating up not just Alphard, but his closest relatives and all his friends in school, also yes.

It's the whole package of Tom that makes him appeal to Alphard, from the physical beauty to the uncompromising personality, to the way he can't ever be fully predicted, and the tragically romantic backstory. Being in love with him is just a point of fact for Alphard at this point.

Even becoming Lord Voldemort is something Tom never claims is anything but what it is, and while Alphard is horrified and heartbroken Tom remains the person he always was. Readers of The Man Who Would Be King will remember Alphard lasted one week before being married to Tom again.

Carlisle, by contrast, while unbelievably beautiful and just as extraordinary, is a man who has made self-delusion a cornerstone of his life. He loves his family and wants them to care about human life as much as he does, so he'll give them little nudges like going to their victims' funerals or have family votes where thankfully the majority voted against killing an innocent girl, and not think about what it says about Edward that he killed people for pleasure for four years because- well, he came back.

And he walks around talking about how great, how humane, how wonderful his family and their way of life is. While living among humans, thereby risking the deaths of innocents for no reason other than "it's our lifestyle!" (and the even worse, underlying reason of "if they don't live with humans they might forget humans aren't food...")

Loss of control isn't even a hypothetical, this happens to the Cullens semi-frequently.

Alphard would think he's a fool and a killer by proxy, and despise and pity him. To him, Carlisle is easily worse than Voldemort.

Alphard is not for Carlisle

The trouble with Alphard is that he is what Caius would be if Caius was worse. He's mean, he's judgmental, and he's cynical, all qualities Caius shares only Alphard is somehow worse. He's just so mean.

More troubling yet, he is very principled and harsh on himself but lives cease to matter to him where his loved ones are concerned. Had Aro said "Here is my Horcrux, it's a fifteen-year-old Aro who must be fed a soul to gain a body" Carlisle would have pressured him to either repair his soul, and left when Aro didn't do so. Alphard, by contrast, "Ope, guess we're finding him a soul then."

Alphard is a very ruthless person, he may be principled but should his line of reasoning lead him to murder being the solution to a problem a loved one is having then murder it is.

Alphard also reacts to Tom becoming Voldemort much the same way he would infidelity, as it's not really the suffering Tom inflicted that bothers him but the betrayal of his own character as Alphard knew it (and he'd have had a much harder time getting past actual infidelity. That would have been a crisis). His faith is restored because he sees enough of the goodness he fell in love with. His niece Bellatrix is much the same, of sure she's done bad things, Alphard is intellectually aware of this fact. It's getting hard to deny that she probably has tortured and killed people, and delights in it. Well, have you considered the fact that she's precious and perfect?

Andromeda's marriage to Ted is on par with Tom and Bellatrix's life choices in that Alphard's not thrilled with it, but he can look past it because he loves her that much.

To Carlisle this man is genuinely insane and terrifying. Carlisle can move past his friends killing to live because it's what they've always known and he sees the good in them in spite of that. Alphard would frighten him, there is plenty good in him but Carlisle would correctly put together that the man is one line of reasoning away from killing anybody at all.

Carlisle stays as far out of his way as he can, and warns others to keep their distance from this one.

Can these two even be in a room together?

I think if they meet in the library and only talk about books, they'll have a grand time. Just don't let them talk about anything personal, at all.

[ugh-yoongi]

Hi. Can I request a drabble with Jungkook where they’re in a secret relationship and they think their friends are not aware of it but they’re actually really bad at hiding it. Thank you!

decided to combine these two. thank you both for the requests!

this one ran away from me but was really fun, so we're going to ignore the wordcount. hope you both enjoy! <3

obviously

pairing: jungkook x f. reader genre: secret relationship au, roommate au; crack, fluff warnings: two idiots engaging in idiot behavior, swearing, yoongi is tortured by reader's use of emojis, drinking/alcohol, one reference to jungkook wearing women's underwear but it isn't a thing, unedited. rating: e for everyone wordcount: 3.7k

In retrospect, getting married at nineteen wasn’t your brightest idea.

Not your worst, either, because at least you’d chosen well.

There are undoubtedly far worse men to have as your ex-husband than Kim Namjoon, who had also gotten caught up in all those romantic cliches about young love; had also been inflicted with whatever illness made you believe getting married so young was smart and cool; had also woken up one day and thought what the fuck are we doing and asked if you wanted to call it quits.

You did.

And even though you loved Namjoon, over time it turned into that platonic life partner kind of love and not that all-encompassing, love of your life, eternal kind of love. So, Namjoon offered to pay for the divorce with his grad school stipend and took his name off the lease so you could find a new roommate and insisted on meeting up every other week for takeout and cheap alcohol because he had a whole thing about not wanting it to be weird.

Now, here you sit, years removed from the most affectionate and anticlimactic divorce of all time, and you wonder what could be more weird than your ex-husband making you a Tinder profile.

“I know what you like,” he insists, cheeks ruddy from the wine. Namjoon talks endlessly on a good day, but he’s nearly impenetrable when he’s got some merlot in him. “No one’s more qualified to do this than me.” You quirk an eyebrow at him. “Except you, of course,” he hurriedly adds.

“Have you ever stopped to think—”

Namjoon heaves an exaggerated groan, hand to his forehead as if he’s suffering a Victorian ailment. “You have no idea.”

You roll your eyes. “Have you ever stopped to think,” you repeat, “that there might be a reason I don’t have a Tinder? Or any dating profile, for that matter?”

“Yeah, you’re obviously still in love with me,” he jokes, laughing wildly at the absurdity of it; elbows you in the side as he wiggles his eyebrows. What could be weirder than your ex-husband treating you like one of his bros? “But alas, I’ve moved on, and so the time has come for you to also—”

“Either shut up or drink more,” you interject, filling his glass nearly to the brim. “You’re insufferable when you’re like this.”

Namjoon, seemingly out of arguments, simply hums in acknowledgment. Downs half the wine you’d just poured him, because out of the two options you’d presented him with, it’s the more realistic choice. Asks, “What’s your preferred age range?” before snorting another laugh and setting it from 18 to 50 for his own amusement.

“You know, I really don’t think this is a good idea.”

“Why not?” he retorts, and there’s no judgment there, just genuine curiosity. You know he’s just having a laugh, would delete it and never mention it again if you asked him to, but the thing is—

The front door opens, and there stands your roommate, arms full of bags from Daiso. “Hey, ba—”

Jungkook stops dead in his tracks when he sees your ex-husband. Coughs to cover the pet name that nearly tumbled out of his mouth and lifts his hand in a wave. Namjoon watches the way the weight of the bags causes the muscles in Jungkook’s forearm to flex and shoots you a look. Maybe he does know what you like, after all.

“Hi, Namjoon-hyung,” Jungkook says, polite but still awkward, even after all these years. Can’t seem to shake it, no matter how hard he tries. “What are you two up to?”

Namjoon is none the wiser, used to the hushed awe Jungkook always adopts when he addresses him. Polite and endlessly kind because his mother raised him to never be anything less, but only ever jittery around Namjoon. Doesn’t act like this around any of your other friends; takes Seokjin’s teasing in stride and dishes it right back, but never Namjoon. Would probably rather die.

So Namjoon just waves back, says, “Hi, Jungkook-ah,” before he returns his attention to his phone. Doesn’t look up when you abandon him on the couch to help unpack the bags. Says, “I’m signing her up for Tinder so she can finally get laid,” and also doesn’t look up when Jungkook chokes on an inhale and one of the bags splits in half.

Before he moved in with you, Jungkook lived with Hoseok.

It’d gone great, all things considered. Jungkook couldn’t have asked for a better first roommate, fresh out of high school and his family home and hundreds of kilometers from the salty air of Busan. He’d nearly been sick with anxiety, all green around the edges, and Hoseok had pulled him into a hug and calmed his fraying nerves. Helped him with his homework and taught him how to cook and pecked at his heels like a mother hen when his room got too messy.

Just like he’s doing now.

“Hyung,” Jungkook says, not at all able to hide the surprise in his voice when he pulls open the door and finds Hoseok on the other side. “What are you doing here?”

Hoseok tuts. “I told you I was coming by this weekend to clean. I haven’t been here in weeks—”

“I know how to clean,” Jungkook argues, face growing warm from misplaced embarrassment, that Hoseok still thinks he’s a dumb kid who doesn’t know any better. “I said you didn’t have to come.”

His hyung’s face softens. “I know you know how to clean, Jungkookie, I’m just… I still feel responsible for you. You’re the first child I raised and released into the world.”

Jungkook sighs. Knows this is a losing argument. Opens the door wide enough to accommodate Hoseok and his bags of cleaning supplies, and doesn’t say a word as he follows Hoseok around the apartment even though he wants to say, I told you so. The entire place is spotless. There’s nothing to clean. No dust on the floor. Sparkling kitchen countertops. Laundry freshly-washed and hung on the drying rack by the window, warm in the midday sun. No toothpaste in the bathroom sink; no hard water stains on the shower glass.

All that’s left is Jungkook’s bedroom. That, too, is spotless, and Hoseok has never had a poker face and certainly can’t muster one now. “Why is it so clean in here?” he asks, taking in the bare floor, void of dirty clothes and whatever hobby equipment Jungkook had taken up that week; the pristinely-made bed with its hospital corners and fluffed pillows; the end tables that are suspiciously void of dust.

“Because I know how to clean,” Jungkook tartly replies, rolling his eyes. “I told you, there’s—”

“Are you even living in here?” Hoseok continues, either oblivious to or pointedly ignoring the way Jungkook starts to panic. “Because it doesn’t smell weird, either, and we all know that wasn’t the case before.”

“I have an air freshener.”

“Uh-huh.”

Hoseok continues his search. Actually praises Jungkook on the way he’d organized his clothes, the fact that everything in his drawers is folded and not shoved in haphazardly, that the few nice pieces he owns are hung in the closet. Kneels on the floor to check under the bed: empty, except for the XBox controller Taehyung had left behind the last time he came over to binge Valorant.

And Jungkook should’ve known—should’ve anticipated this—because it’s his Hobi-hyung and if there’s anything his Hobi-hyung is neurotic about it’s cleanliness and he’s got eyes like a hawk, makes him deadly efficient at spotting dust, so it’s really no surprise when he lets out a shrill a-ha! and pops out from under the bed with a pair of lacy underwear pinched between his fingers, but Jungkook should’ve anticipated it, anyway.

“And what do we have here?”

What Hoseok has here is Jungkook’s favorite pair of your underwear, but he can’t say that, so he just feels the way his face flushes with embarrassment again and wonders if he’d get out of the impending interrogation if he starts crying. “Um. Nothing?”

“Sure doesn’t look like nothing,” Hoseok continues, voice animated and lilting, the teasing smile evident even though Jungkook can’t bring himself to look. “Can’t believe my little Jungkookie is all grown up.”

Jungkook doesn’t feel grown up, he feels mortified. Feels like he wants to sink right through the floor, like he wants to disappear for three to five business years. Feels like an idiot for being so insistent on all this secrecy, because now he can’t tell Hoseok that the lacy underwear he’s inspecting belongs to you and that the two of you have been together for a while, that it’s great, Jungkook thinks this might be It, and all he can do is blurt out the first thing he can think of, which is—

“It’s mine.” Hoseok’s head turns so fast his neck creaks. “I’m, uh. Experimenting.”

Hoseok shrieks. Jungkook shrieks. “What the fuck,” Hoseok shrieks again as he drops the underwear to the floor and kicks it under the bed. “Why wouldn’t you just say that—”

“That’s what you get for going through my stuff!”

Hoseok doesn’t come over to clean again.

On the weeks you don’t see Namjoon, you spend your Fridays having game night at Jimin’s.

It’s always a raucous affair—wouldn’t be possible any other way with the friend group you’ve got, now seamlessly blended with Jungkook’s—and it’s always your responsibility to supply the snacks. You pop into the store after work, leave with your arms full of junk like you looted the place, and the man in front of you in line takes so long you miss the bus and have to wait for the next.

Which leaves you very little time to get ready, so you rush through a shower to rinse off the work grime and grab the first pair of leggings and sweatshirt you see, slip your feet into slides that may or may not be yours, and run down the hall to Jimin’s.

Laughter can be heard from just outside the door—Hobi’s and Jin’s louder than everyone—and it makes you smile. Warmth blooms in your chest, all affection, and it has you feeling terribly fond of this group you’ve cobbled together. Has you smiling wider as you punch in Jimin’s door code and let yourself inside. Has you dropping off the snacks in the kitchen and wanting to hug the first person you find, except one Park Jimin has other plans.

“Why are you wearing Jungkookie’s hoodie?” he says in lieu of a greeting.

You look down. Certainly is Jungkook’s hoodie, mixed in with the clean laundry you hadn’t gotten around to putting away yet, and you’re sure there’s no hiding the way your jaw drops a little. The man in question is across the room, stuck in a conversation about fuck knows what with Taehyung, and he sends you a panicked look that can only be an instruction to lie your ass off. So you huff, say, “What d’you mean? This is mine,” and paint on the most annoyed expression you can conjure.

“It absolutely is not yours,” Jimin retorts.

This time you look annoyed for real. “Ugh, who cares? Since when did you become an expert on our personal belongings?”

When you first met Jimin, you’d been tricked into thinking he was a sweet, innocent angel; the kind of person who would do anything for his loved ones, including not interrogating them over whose clothes they wear. Quickly, you learned this was not the case. Jimin is lovely and kind, but he’s also perceptive as hell and shameless, so he smirks knowingly and answers with, “Since I bought them.”

Which… makes sense, you can admit. You vaguely recall Jungkook’s last birthday and the way he’d gasped and insisted on Jimin returning the hoodie he’d gifted him because it was too expensive and the way Jimin had laughed and waved him off, because Jungkook has always been his favorite and he’s never attempted to hide it. The hoodie you’re wearing now could, theoretically, be that exact gift. It’s definitely soft enough to be made from something expensive.

“Oh,” you reply, changing gears entirely. “Well, you know how it is. Sometimes laundry gets mixed up. I’m sure you and Taehyung have worn each other’s clothes by accident, too.”

Jimin doesn’t buy it, you can tell, but he thankfully drops the issue. Watches you and Jungkook like a hawk for the rest of the night, just waiting to capitalize on any other slip-ups, but you purposely fall into a conversation with Yoongi that’s too boring for any normal human to follow along with, and Jungkook calls dibs on Mario Kart until someone can beat him, so there are no slip-ups to catch.

However, if the one constant of your friend group is that Jungkook is Jimin’s favorite regardless of Taehyung’s pouting, the second is that Jung Hoseok cannot hold his liquor.

He’s four mixed drinks deep, skin flushed and eyes half-lidded with sleep, when he stands on top of Taehyung and Jimin’s coffee table and shouts, for everyone to hear, “Hey, did you guys know Jungkookie started wearing women’s underwear?”

For once, this comes as a complete shock to you, too.

The thing about being in love, Jungkook finds, is that it’s nearly impossible to shut up about it.

He’s trying to be cool. He’s trying to be normal. He feigns delight and care when his coworkers talk about their partners, pretends he’s paying attention and not just waiting for his turn to talk about you. He prints pictures of the two of you off his phone and frames them and displays them at his desk, and all someone has to say is, “That’s a cute picture, Jungkook-ssi—” before all his affection for you erupts out of him like a volcano.

So far he’s been careful. His coworkers are sick of hearing about you, but they’re an outlet for everyone he can’t talk about you with. Like his friends, because he’d decided early on it was better to keep everything a secret for a little bit because he didn’t want things to be weird (and because he’s low-key terrified of Namjoon, because he’s gentle and clumsy but he’s still big) and now he’s regretting it but it feels like it’s gone on too long and he’s in too deep.

Really, it’s no surprise he slips up. Has probably been overdue for one like this for a while.

They’re at the arcade. Taehyung has sunk the last of his disposable income for the week into a claw machine stocked with LINE characters. Wants to win a Sally plushie for Jimin because he says they look alike. It’s cute, the bond they have, platonic soulmates the way you and Namjoon are, and Jungkook is starry-eyed and love-drunk when he heaves a wistful sigh and thinks out loud, “I should win something for her, too.”

The words catch Taehyung so off-guard his hand slips and presses the button to lower the claw. “Press it again,” Jungkook says. “If you double-press the button, it makes the claw stronger. You’ll get it.”

Taehyung is wary, still dazed from Jungkook’s slip-up, but he presses the button again anyway. The claw tightens around Sally’s head and drags her up and out of the pile, drops her into the chute and to Taehyung’s waiting hand. “Oh shit! Jungkookie, you’re a genius. Jimin’s gonna love this.”

“Yeah, sure. Didn’t know you didn’t know that trick or I would’ve told you sooner.”

His hyung nods absentmindedly, distracted with the selfie he’s sending to Jimin with Sally obscuring half his face. “Are you gonna try now?”

Jungkook swallows. “Huh?”

“You said you were gonna win something for someone.”

“No I didn’t,” he lies.

Taehyung’s face drops. Gets all serious when he shoves his phone in his back pocket. “Yes you did. Right before I won this,” he says, large hands wrapped around Sally’s poor neck, clearly strangling her. “You said I should win something for her, too. Who’s ‘her’? Are you seeing someone?”

“I said him, hyung,” he lies again. Is thankful for the garish arcade lights and the way they hide the blush creeping up his neck. “I meant Jimin-hyung.”

“You did not,” Taehyung insists. “You said her, and now you’re trying to gaslight me—”

Jungkook rolls his eyes. Feigns exasperation. Swipes his game card and stares his hyung right in the eye as he drops the claw and double-taps, somehow picking up two plushies. Tosses Brown to Taehyung and says, “Tell Jimin his favorite dongsaeng won him that one.”

Tucks Cony safely in his pocket to give to you later, thankful the universe came through for him for once.

You (10:42pm): babe

You (10:42pm): what time do you think you’ll be home?

You (10:43pm): 🍆🍆🍆

Yoongi (11:06pm): What the fuck

You (11:08pm): oh fuck

You (11:08pm): that was NOT meant for you

Yoongi (11:14pm): Fucking obviously

Yoongi (11:14pm): Please do not ever accidentally sext me again

You (11:15pm): gross yoongi

You (11:15pm): that wasn’t a sext

You (11:15pm): i need it for the bokkeum i’m making

Yoongi (11:17pm): At midnight? Fuck off

Yoongi (11:17pm): Trade proposal

Yoongi (11:17pm): You never accidentally sext me again and I won’t tell the rest of our friends you’re secretly dating your roommate

You (11:29pm): it’s not even midnight 🙄

You (11:29pm): but that sounds good to me, thanks!

Hoseok had taught Jungkook how to cook, but not how to bake.

They’d attempted it, once, not long after Jungkook moved to Seoul and was homesick and missing his mom’s yaksik something terrible. Just wanted something that tasted like home, something comforting, and Hoseok had felt so bad for him that he said fuck it, let’s try, what’s the worst that could happen, and the two of them learned very quickly that nearly burning down their kitchen and the rest of their building was, in fact, the worst thing that could happen.

They never tried baking a damn thing after that, individually or together.

Still, there’s a special occasion coming up, so Jungkook asks the only person he trusts to help him.

“You need a cake,” Seokjin intones, swallowing his smile when Jungkook nods and his mop of curls bobbles along. Takes out a notepad to jot down ideas. “What’s the occasion?”

“Um. Just an… occasion.”

Seokjin blinks owlishly. “You just need a cake for an occasion? Do you wanna try again and actually be helpful this time?”

“What does it matter if I’m paying you, hyung?” Jungkook whines. “Aren’t cakes all the same?”

“Not if you want me to decorate it—”

“I don’t.”

“—because what am I supposed to write on it? Happy occasion, person whose name Jungkookie won’t tell me! Do you see how that might not work out for either of us?”

“Again, what does it matter—”

Seokjin looks up from his notepad, brows furrowed. “Are you ordering this for the president? What’s with all the secrecy?”

Jungkook huffs, puts on his Very Serious Face. “I can just take my business elsewhere if you’re going to interrogate me, hyung,” he says, to which Seokjin rolls his eyes, used to Jungkook’s dramatics.

“Be my guest,” he calls his bluff, gesturing to the front door of the bakery. “No one else is going to give you as good a discount as me, though.”

“I bet Junghwan-ssi would,” Jungkook grumbles, low but loud enough for Seokjin to hear, because there isn’t much else Jungkook can say that’d get under his hyung’s skin as much as the mention of his arch nemesis. “I bet I could walk into his bakery right now and explain the whole situation to him and he’d practically give it to me for free, just so it meant you didn’t get my business.”

And it works. Seokjin’s eyes narrow, chest starts heaving. “You wouldn’t,” he accuses, and Jungkook just shrugs, nonplussed, daring Seokjin to find out.

What follows can only be described as a tense standoff: Seokjin behind the counter of his bakery, looking hilariously underdressed for this stalemate in his pink apron, armed only with a pen; Jungkook, looking smug and pleased on the other side, not even knowing what Junghwan’s bakery is called, let alone where it is. The bell above the door chimes and neither breaks eye contact to look, and it’d probably go on like this forever, knowing the two of them, except the person behind Jungkook clears their throat, asks, “Excuse me, are you in line…?” and Seokjin is forced to concede if he wants to stay in business.

The person orders a cake for their daughter’s birthday. Answers each of Seokjin’s questions with certainty and preparedness, and Jungkook doesn’t miss the looks Seokjin shoots at him. See how easy it is to answer simple questions? they say. Why can’t you be like this?

Jungkook can’t be like that because the cake is for your birthday. Which Seokjin knows, because he has all of his friends’ birthdays saved to his phone calendar, but he’s never gone out of his way to get you a cake before so Seokjin will absolutely know something’s up. And as he waits for the person to be done ordering, his heart aches a little, because he wants to tell Seokjin to make you the nicest cake he can. Wants him to pull out all the stops, because it’s your birthday and you deserve it, and he could say all those things if he hadn’t insisted on this stupid secrecy.

Guilt consumes him so entirely he doesn’t notice the person leaving. Doesn’t hear the chime of the bell above the door. Is halfway to spilling the entire story to Seokjin, gets as far as hyung, there’s something I— before Seokjin holds up a hand to stop him.

“What kind of cake would you like, Jungkookie?”

Jungkook deflates. Takes all those transgressions he was about to confess to and shoves them back inside his chest, locks them away. “Whatever you think is best, hyung. Just no nuts.”

And Seokjin smirks knowingly, because there’s only one person he knows with a nut allergy.

[allwormdiet]

Extermination 8.5

Skitter is now one for three on interacting with New Wave kids without making them hate her.

Also fun fact I actually hit the image limit while making this post so I had to nix a few of the smaller observations made, there's just that much shit going on

Neat to meet more of New Wave, but boy I wish it was under different circumstances

Also Taylor you were so close to making that descriptor of their anguish work, you shouldn't have acknowledged it

How fucking harrowing must it be to let your daughter go anywhere near the fucking thing that killed your son.

Also I like how even as Skitter realizes that this is not the time or place, she's still indignant at being called "the girl."

What an awful fucking day for all of them. What can even be done, what can even be said?

Just a wet fucking cat of a girl, being carried through the air.

Oh hey Coil, bet your asshole is clenching really fucking hard rn

I wish there was a way for Coil to drown down there without killing Dinah too, but alas

Also absolutely insane that this has all been in the span of, what, an hour? Maybe a little more? What the fuck

And here's Parian proving that she's actually a huge badass

"Why manipulate cloth" honestly my first assumption is that it's bc her power is cloth control

Really fucking funny that people apparently keep thinking that superpowers are magic, though

We hardly knew ye.

I did learn that this is a retcon; Browbeat survived in the initial version of the story, although he quit the Wards in the wake of this attack and never comes up again. The retcon was in... 2019? Reasoning is speculative but I guess people kept making stupid jokes about Browbeat and he got tired of it?

Hey you know what though, really good showing overall, better than a bunch of other capes today

Okay so did this attack go through Leviathan? What the fuck is going on with this Flechette girl, that is utterly fucking cracked. Armsmaster's fucking nanothorns couldn't hack that, what is she doing where her shots do this kinda damage.

Leviathan likes playing with its fucking food, which is weird as hell

This dramatic fucker

God that's so cool, just opening up a fucking chasm in the middle of the battlefield.

...I wonder if it was trying to get into the bunker like Coil was afraid of. I know enough about Noelle to know that could've gone really fucking poorly.

Laserdream is cool, does she get much love in the fandom or is she too peripheral a character for that?

This is kinda funny ngl

That's a lot of fucking dead people, Jesus H

Taylor you are genuinely being too cool about this, your arm is still broken

He can do anything he wants down there, it's terrifying

Very funny that Armsmaster's brand-spanking-new halberd is being put to better use in this fight by people who aren't him and for purposes he didn't intend

Haha, wuh oh!

First indicator that Coil's got some pretty remarkable commercial ties considering he managed to sneak his own fucking Endbringer shelter in for private use and nobody noticed.

Also, god that's gotta be fucking terrifying

...I think like 99% of things that have come up in this arc are fucking terrifying if we're being real for a second but I'm gonna keep saying it

Seeing someone who treats you like dirt and have a happy life outside of treating you like dirt is a certain kind of agony. Also fuck Gladly on principle tbh.

Ah fuck

She could have so easily given into spite and let them all suffer and die. She was under no obligation beyond her own drive to be good, to be better, to be better than Gladly. And that's why she's among the best of these fucking people.

And so the bug girl, both creepy AND wet, goes in there and saves everyone left standing by shoving the Halberd up Levi's nonexistent asshole and baiting him back out the shelter

She's a bigger hero than so many of the others

This might be one of the most intensely and personally terrifying moments of all. Paralysis and drowning hand in hand. A slow and insidious kind of horror.

Rachel Lindt MVP

Well hey, cool of Rachel to be concerned though

They should be giving Bitch the key to the fucking city for this, honestly

This poor girl sacrificed the closest thing she has to family to buy even a fraction of extra time for this asscrack of a city

And then there's this fucking asshole

Imagine if God thought you, personally and specifically, fucking sucked. What a weird feeling that must be.

Skipping past the downturn in the fighting and the teleportation bc we have to get to the conclusion of the chapter

Taylor did more to save this whole city than any of these people can even imagine, and they manhandle her into a cot and cuff her broken-ass arm because y'can't be too careful with villains, can you

This is going to go so poorly

Current Thoughts

Taylor did more, in the moment-to-moment breakdown of tracking, fighting, and responding to Leviathan, than like 90% of the other capes in this whole fucking deal, and nobody will ever know the full extent of it. She might have honestly saved more lives than Armsmaster, because he was too busy fucking grandstanding in the moments leading up to his, ahaha, disarmament.

Skitter is a hero, idgaf what anyone says. She earned better than what she's about to be fucking put through, that's for sure.

[stolaz-the-artist]

May you make a murder drones au of nexo knights Please 😢

MURDER DRONES SPOILER WARNING

I mean yeah, that's kind of obvious.

This Is gonna be a loooong post. Longest ask I've worked on.

I didn't need to make so many drawings but I had so much fun I just kind of had to.

im gonna do everyone a favor and kind of digitalize my writing under each page, just in case its hard to read.

Serial Designator C

"I don't know because you won't tell me!"

"Oh please don't run! if I miss it will just prolong your suffering"

"Oh i do wanna be dapper *sigh* but alas"

Clay: Are you . . . new drones?

Macy: Uh, sure?

Clay: Hm. . . Well I have been saying we need more bots

Serial Designator W

"C-100110010! HOW DARE YOU LOCK YOUR MOTHER UP!? You let me out this instant!"

"Wait . . . Prom queen?"

Lance: He's literally so ungrateful. Like you're so cool.

"How did you even manage to knock yourself offline?"

*Rebooting. . .*

"If the other one survived after all this time it's truly a miracle"

Serial Designator F (Fletch)

Post limb change

Him and Izzy are very close friends (She think its cool when its revealed he's a Disassembly drone)

Was "adopted" by two worker drones (That W killed in an attempt to get him back)

He's a bit taller due to his torso, but because his legs cant fully support him, he's constantly hunching

"Im so tired of this shit"

Gets called names like • Loose-limb Fletch

•Drop-A-Limbs

•Disjoint-Drone

•Snap-off Fletch

Fletch: WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?

Wanda: Literally barely anything. Just put the right limbs on

Wanda: Like what kind of idiot tried to connect Worker drone limbs to a Disassembly drone torso?

Macy Doorman

"Huh, knew illegal downloading all those Ned Knightly movies would come in handy"

"EAT PLASMA BITCH!"

Macy: One more buzzword and I'll do it

Jestro: . . . Equity Partnersh-

"Oh bite me"

Clay: Now im pretty new to this "Rebelling" stuff. But uh, do I have to fight my mom? Its just that-

Macy: YES!

Clay: sighhh Fine, lets do this

Aaron

"The hell happened to you?"

Aaron: So do you think they like video games?

Lance: Doubt it

Aaron: Then why are we here?

Lance: Blackmail

Aaron: Oh fair

One of Macy's best friends (And the friend she's had the longest)

"Super invited to my shindig next week"

Aaron, whispering: I mean, he's fun sized?

*sizzle*

Aaron, whispering: Ok so not fun

Macy: whispering: OH REALLY!?

Lance

Axl: Where's Macy

Lance: She went out

Axl: Out? Have she lost her mind?

Lance: Think so. Oh and Aaron went with her

Axl: Excuse me?

Lance: Yeah . .

Phone focus cuz tiny space

Wanda: This is so shit

Lance: I know right

Fashionista. Yes he knows there are non flip phones, he has one, but it just doesn't meet the same level of sass as a clip phone

Lance: Do you understand what will happen if you go out there? Let me spell it out; D-E-A-T-H! Are you out of your-

Aaron: I'll come lol

Lance: Yeah, no. You two gp enjoy dying. The hell you think this is, a shitty horror movie?

Axl

"Im gone for 5 min to get some actual edible snacks and everyone is dead!?"

Accidentally gave her the gun idea

Really fixated on food, spends a lot of time recreating food

His bigger legs make him a bit less flexible, but he packs a mean kick (home made)

Axl: There we go!

Lance: Aren't you worried someones actually gonna drink it thinking its actually edible- or drinkable I guess

Lance: But idk, people are pretty stupid here

Axl: Hm, no you're right

Decoration don't drink u'll die lol

Serial Designator J

"its tricked you! and if I promised you anything . . . It tricked me too . . ."

"Ha-ha! I-am so good-at-hiding!"

Is AD's most "trusted" worker (And with ,pst trusted I mean most easily manipulated)

Clay: What will the company do to us once we're done? How do we know the company wont get rid of us?

Jestro: Awh, im so sorry. You know the consequences of questioning the company

*virus*

Clay: Hm, fair enough

Monstrux

Merlok

Absolute Destruction

"The flesh demands invitation"

"Dropped this-silly"

Pre-skinning Merlok

Robot view

Monstrux: You look g-great, toots! hm . .

Monstrux: Have you considered a hat-tho

~*~

There's a few extra sketches I did for fun lying around, and if ya'll want that (plus the story line of what's happening) just tell me I would include it here but this is painfully long enough

(Oh and all relationships are kinda neutral here. They don't entirely line up with the show. Ship whoever I don't care)

Anyways, this took weeks to make (cuz of studying and the fact I got sick in the middle of it) but im rather happy with what I have came up with!

Always feel free to make asks like this! I enjoy them a lot! might take a while for them to come out cuz of school but I'll do my best!

(Also I'm aware some are a bit out of character, it was for comedic purposes)

[xf-cases-solved]

S1E12: Fire

Case: An incel played by Mark Sheppard is lighting people (and things, but we're more concerned about the people) on fire, and they can't figure out how he's doing it. This case is brought to Mulder's attention by his toxic British ex, Phoebe (who, as far as Mulder's exes go, is way more charismatic than Fowley so -shrug emoji-), and the two of them go off to Massachusetts to stop some rich British people from being barbecued. Half the people in this episode are weirdly horny, especially the fire expert guy at the Bureau who sounds like he's in the process of getting off when he describes pictures of fire. Mark Sheppard kicks a dog. Mulder literally says the words, "That's one of the luxuries to hunting down aliens and genetic mutants—you rarely get to press charges," so at least they're self-aware. Also, he's terrified of fire and apparently "cursed" with a photographic memory—I'm pretty sure neither of these things ever come up again. Meanwhile, the only person doing any actual FBI work is Scully. Thank god for her.

Does someone die in the cold open: Ah, yeah. Death by psychic immolation. Not the nicest way to go.

Does Mulder present a slideshow: No, but he does get practical joked into thinking he's about to die in a car bombing. Take note, Youtube pranksters.

Does the evidence survive the investigation: The most damning evidence is Incel Mark Sheppard himself, and while he's definitely a little crispy, he makes it to the end.

Whodunit: Incel Mark Sheppard

Convictions: Incel Mark Sheppard will face prosecution once he's done applying aloe to his burns. They are kind of not sure how to do that given that he can light literally anything flammable on fire with his mind. If it was 2024 they'd just do a Zoom call, but alas.

Did they solve it: Yes!

[how do i determine if an episode is solved? check the scale here: x]

THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: Forced exposure therapy.

Do you need to suffer from a convenient phobia that is relevant to your current situation in order to provide suspense to your plotline, but you also don't want to have to ever bring it up again in your general narrative arc as a whole? Get rid of it quick with forced exposure therapy!

Forced exposure therapy works by having you speedrun the entire therapy process by putting you in a life or death scenario where you have no choice but to face your fears. Tired of being afraid? Well throw yourself into that burning building and learn to become brave, once and for all!*

*Forced exposure therapy may worsen phobias in some individuals, potentially resulting in the development of moderate to severe post-traumatic stress disorder. Do not put yourself into life or death scenarios without first speaking to your doctor to see if forced exposure therapy is right for you.

***

General Total Stats:

(green means stat has changed since last ep; red means new stat added to list)

Total Cases *Definitively* Solved So Far: 5 (that's two in a row! new best streak!!)

Total Number of "Mulder/Scully, it's me" phone calls: 1 (oh man, we were so close two different times. first one Scully goes, "Mulder, it's Scully," and i was like, "damn," and then later she started calling him on her gigantic black box cell phone, and i was like, "ooh, here we go!" but then the call didn't go through :( )

Total Number of Times Scully Has Conveniently Not Seen Something Crucial: 4 (she was kind of the only person paying actual attention to anything this episode)

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Been in Mortal Danger: 5 (the amount of smoke inhalation he got both times he was in the fire probably should have killed him, tbh)

Total Number of Times Scully Has Been in Mortal Danger: 3

Total Number of Sexually Charged and/or Flirty Moments Between Friendly Coworkers: 6 (there's so much weird tension in this episode that i can't even count it all individually)

Total Number of Autopsies Scully Has Performed On Screen: 1

Total Number of Times Scully Plays Doctor: 1

Total Number of Times Mulder Talks to an Informant: 6

Total Number of Nosebleeds: 4

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Tasted/Sniffed/Touched Something Questionable Without Following Proper Safety Procedures: 1

Total Number of Times Someone Says "Trust No One": 1

Total Number of Cigarettes Cigarette Smoking Man Has Smoked: 2

Total Number of Alex Krycek Sightings: 0 :(

Total Number of Times I Had to Look Up What State the Episode Takes Place in Even Though I Literally Just Watched It: 3 ½ (giving myself half-credit bc I knew it happened in Cape Cod, but I didn't know where Cape Cod was lol)

Total Number of Times I Had to Look at an Episode's Wikipedia Page to Fill This Out Because It Was Fucking Confusing and/or Too Boring for Me to Pay Attention: 2 (not this episode, and i can also say with authority that this stat won't go up next episode either, bc next episode is mfing "Beyond the Sea" which is the topest of tiers of first season episodes. get hype!!!)

[figitorynonsenseptii]

jashpeople approve we ball

anyways so. cracks knuckles lets GO

we're calling this the 'The Spongiform Encephalopathy" AU, or for better terms, "Soul Wasting"

new names for them because Why Not,,,,, I wanna,,,,,,,,,, this is for their infected forms:

Heart becomes Coronary

Soul becomes Pseudocoma

And Mind becomes Supranuclear

disclaimer im not all too medical & shit i just happen to think ~99% fatal disease are really fucking cool

cw for. You know. Pr ion Disease. its a horrific disease that i find interesting ok uhhh. but emphasis on horrific

summary: whole's body mysteriously breaking down Oh what the fuck we're wasting away. Shit goes to hell :(

ok so, in this, whole gets prion disease.

all is fine for a while, aside from occasional weird stuff in the headspace's functioning

but alas, things start breaking down

it starts with mind first, he gains a stagger, loses weight, tremors and such

naturally, soul is worried, heart too but he's standing by the belief that he's just really sick <he's not wrong to an extent??>

so, he's bedridden, sick. unfortunately, that also impairs the whole's thinking and all.... fuck.... oh dea r

his headaches get WORSE, the insomnia, coordination issues, insomnia begin to come in, so now soul's taking care of him since he is in a Bad state

at this point, here comes the part where it sounds like an infection au:

supranuclear becomes sensitive to bright light, frankly loses his whole logic motif? holes start tearing in his skin, spurs & stuff, the slow degenerative state of his body overall. his head is never upright anymore, etc etc (design coming,,, at some point)

soul continues to try and help him, but he's already long gone but results are unsuccessful

meanwhile, whole is losing balance, slurring, suffering a good amount of supranuclear's symptoms, just not on as much of a level. he's likely went to a hospital (hasn't had it diagnosed, likely, CJD is pretty hard to detect if i remember correctly) or the same bedridden predicament as him

they agree to throw it into apathy at some point. it's a husk of mind now.

at some point, soul's next.

his deterioration is much faster (a few weeks compared to the slow rate of... it), and this fucking freaks heart out because its predicament was. an unsavory experience, not one he wants to see again

he falls in depression and back like how he was during the worst of cacophony. Slurred speech, restlessness, muscle contractions, coordination problems, etc.

It undergoes similar degenerative changes, though with more happening to the teeth, ears, and legs.

unlike supranuclear, pseudocoma becomes frenzied.

First thing heart does is hide, after having agreed with Soul to lock him in that room after things got worse and worse. Unfortunately, the damned thing breaks out at some point.

And so, he pulls out the gun in a state of panic, (it could be contagious, it could spread.) {it's inevitable.} and shoots it, multiple times.

Pseudocoma, with staggered steps, summons its trident once more, fear and rationale lost to the deteoration of his mind.

The structures of the headspace finally begins to fall, cracks spur on throughout the "walls", heart feels hot pain within his head and chest. Everything's slowing down.

Finally, Heart's becoming Coronary.

7 minutes, feeling like forever, he wastes away like the other two, as whole passes.

Oh wtf ok i did not mean to do that much

yea. thats abt it. they do live on as sort of,, zombies afterward. (im leaving supranuclear's fate open ended)

good day! thats all harass me for more

[janetbrown711]

How do you torment your favs (aka how have you traumatized some of your favourite characters)?

Well, if we're talking broadly here I mostly give them mommy issues, but lets go character by character here for the nitty gritty/true pattern examination

TW for mentions of miscarriages, abusive parents, and just a lot of trauma

Apple White-- Mommy issues, internalized homophobia that she does mostly get over but it doesn't help when a lot of the world is homophobic to her, body image issues, and a possible eating disorder

Darling Charming-- mommy issues, daddy issues, experiences a lot of homophobia and misogyny

Louie Duck-- Just. Just the worst mommy issues. Wants Della to love him so bad but feels like it's literally impossible because of their differences and his "glaring" flaws and selfishness

Yakko, Wakko, and Dot (Long Live the Queen) (idk how to write normal universe whoopsies)-- Abusive grandmother who actively tries to (and nearly accomplishes) murdering their parents making their parents have to abandon them for a year, Yakko has parentification trauma from that, Wakko gets literally starved and locked in a tower on multiple occassions, and Dot feels like it's all her fault whenever Wakko gets hurt because she's supposed to be the perfect princess. It gets fixed but it do be a lot

Lena Warner (my oc from Long Live the Queen)-- Abusive mother who literally attempted to kill her. Wants very badly to be a proper mother to her children and keep them safe, but her mother has far too much control and power over her for that to be truly possible. Had a runaway marriage in her late teens in order to avoid being married off to some old guy. Her mother's murder attempt caused a miscarriage and robbed her of a year with her children while she had to physically recover from her injuries. Ended up killing her in the end though, so that's good.

MK (dadsy of two)-- dead parents that were incredibly abusive (especially his "mother"), a burning desire for closeness to his guardian that he feels he can't access out of fear of attachment + Pigsy's own distant behavior at unpredictable moments. Desperately wants Pigsy to be his dad and nothing hurts more than when Pigsy actively denies it. Craves affection and praise more than anything in the whole wide world but doesn't know how to accept it/how to react when it happens.

Mei (dadsy of two)-- dead parents who gave her severe perfectionism but died before they could ever apologize/acknowledge/realize any damage done. Blames herself for starting the fire because she knocked over an ancestral artifact (that fire was actually fixed, the fire that killed them is unrelated but she'll never believe that). Wants to be the perfect daughter for Pigsy while also not feeling like she's actually his daughter because of the distance + complicated grief related feelings.

Pigsy (dadsy of two)-- tbh what haven't I done to him? Gave him guilt over the death of Sandy's ex fiancee due to "causing" Sandy's trauma that lead to the incident, gave him mommy and even worse daddy issues, deals with fantasy racism on such a regular basis he believes being distant with MK and Mei (ala saying he isn't their father/he's only their legal guardian) is the only way to really protect them from it (and even that backfires on more than one occasion). Internalized fatphobia. PTSD. Smoker. Severe lack of self esteem. Couldn't give less of a shit about himself and his own health (ESPECIALLY mental) while worrying endlessly about everyone else. Just. just so much trauma for one man. what the fuck.

Tang (all fanfics)-- Abusive, severely homophobic parents who cut him off when he was 19 due to finding out about his homosexuality. Could barely afford food for a year until he met Pigsy and basically relied on his charity in order to not starve to death/suffer the effects of severe malnutrition and still continue his education. Loves Pigsy endlessly and hates watching him torture himself over the littlest things (knows he does the same and feels so helpless every time it happens). Wants to be a dad to MK (and Mei) desperately but worries he's nothing compared to Pigsy. Has constantly had his passions belittled and mocked to the point it's genuinely surprising to him that MK actually likes his stories and the way he does things.

Sandy (all fanfics)-- PTSD, guilt over having missed 20+ years of his best friend's life. In Dadsy of Two he killed his fiancee after a nightmare about the war he and Pigsy had fought. Wanted to be a parent but after that accident, he can't trust himself with another human life like that. Has a hard time trying not to be "the therapist friend" and poking where he shouldn't when it comes to his friend's emotional issues (especially Pigsy's). Had just the worst toxic romance with Pigsy ever that was just the hottest of messes before it all fell apart but they tried to be friends (until his fiance's death) (the time away was very much needed for them both to heal and grow so they could actually be good friends again but it still hurts it took that long).

Pigsy (Li Na AU)-- most of the above but even more trauma around fatherhood, only made worse by the fact he had five miscarriages in the past (only three Tang knows about). Buries that pain instead of talking about it and believes that because Li Na is alive and well the pain is gone (it's not. it lives within him in every waking moment and is why he's so fucking terrified at the thought of losing her or MK).

....So yeah! Just--.... Just so much man, damn wtf someone needs to take them away from me I keep hurting them, wtf---

[quietbluejay]

Vulkan Lives 1

let's light this review on fire er Salamanders, bring your big green eggs

...you know? the barbecue company?

Flashback to Isstvan V

yeah

you know what, they are pretty alike also WHY did the temperature in my room plunge as soon as i started this novel

rare W for Konrad okay so now we're getting somewhere and now we have 3 times in which a primarch grabbed another primarch's face though at least Konrad didn't make it weird. Yes you heard it here first: Konrad is the most wholesome face-grabber.

also alas i see Kyme is a believer in the sexy evil lamp horus

ah Vulkan is hallucinating

because the next person he sees is Guilliman, who stabs him with his sword

yeah it's curze as we knew because we've read the book summary i dunno if vulkan's hallucinating or something warpy is going on though

another thing that kinda makes it feel warpy is that Vulkan never irl saw Horus in his evil sexy lamp armour but he was like that here okay let's go see someone else

crimson armour blood angels was my first thought but

it's erebus! they're word bearers so like does erebus use healing magic to fix his face every time it gets bashed in? and then does he have to redo the tattoos? it's a serious question I have! Erebus speaks haltingly about "the weapons"

so elias is going to go looking for them okay that was a bit weird

so that was the prologue well i've read worse prologues i guess okay chapter 1 opens on the world of Traoris which is a "blessed" world

but it's not blessed for everyone

also those 40k vibes, man, Kyme why do you keep doing this (it was there in Promethean Sun too)

you know i thought i read the sample for this book but i remember absolutely zero of what's happened

so apparently, the shadows are eating people with guns oh that sounds like night lords or i guess raven guard but it's not raven guard imagine that twist tho so the city is filled with paranoia she manages to run into Cardinal Square while thinking of her dad who is dying of cancer and then she saw him who i am guessing was a statue it's the golden king so her dad told her about the coming of the imperium

blech

this is the excerpt I posted and I got people going "bluejay you NEED to find a new fandom with actually good writers"

yeah it's word bearers getting sacrifices honestly i don't even know the point of this also this entire section could be taking place in 40k and you wouldn't know the difference

they're hard men doing hard things we've switched to these guys who are doing digging…somewhere they're looking for weapons

oh, it's Numeon he's a Salamander so they're observing the city one salamander: maybe it's so quiet because they're going to surrender

it's not as bad as Fulgrim…it's not as bad yet… i keep telling myself this

har har har you know what for all Swallow's faults, he could actually write banter

hey let's see "normal" vulkan

vulkan: only speaking to a remembrancer in environments that are highly dangerous for a regular human im rolling my eyes at "blacksmiter" meanwhile an augmented human is currently branding him

Seriph thinks it's a humble origin for a primarch she's been in here for 21 minutes now which is a record for the remembrancers

…did the Emperor not tell Vulkan that he made the primarchs to be his generals? anyways Vulkan says that he would have been a farmer, otherwise not a blacksmith? weird his voice also gets described as "diabolic"

honestly it just seems to me like Vulkan is enjoying making remembrancers suffer one of the Pyre Guard comes in and is like "another one?" Vulkan: this one did better than the others, she can talk to me again so Vulkan is heavily covered in brands which I guess primarch skin doesn't heal over? Fulgrim must be so jelly because he wanted tattoos but they'd keep healing

Vulkan orders a new plan one that has less cost to civilian life the Pyre Guard talks about how they're going to do things and my goodness you know you never know what you've got til it's gone I miss Rath's dialogue i even miss Swallow (not sharing it this time)

HA WEEB

Vulkan asks how the remembrancer is doing "she lives" "good" Vulkan how many remembrancers have you killed so far??

lol lmao he gets news from the front, they breached the wall with zero resistance weird over to Numetor Nemetor who is a different guy than Numeon

the city stinks of death

also he spies Nostraman graffiti written in blood on a scholam and again, why are we using 40k terms so Vulkan set his soldiers to burning the city to ash

yeah, Curze is here oy

Curze: lmao what are you going to do

pensive emoji

bats are signs of death now also didn't you know erebus is a bat vulkan: are you trying to goad me curze: lol. lmao.

Curze: all the other cities will surrender to us now. that's my present Vulkan: you killed innocent people! Curze: lmao no one's innocent

to be continued!

[seventh-district]

Could've left me just the way you found me, but you came and put your wings around me. You went out of your way, to fix what you didn't break.

This song is so incredibly Sam & Darlin' coded and no one can tell me otherwise.

[lots of lyrical analysis below the cut] [there's also a short little fanfic blurb of them stargazing down there too (this post got really out of hand lmao)]

For those not fully caught up, note that the following commentary contains various spoilers for Sam and Darlin's stories.

Note: Unfortunately this song is gendered, using the word 'girl' several times. Which sucks a little bit for immersion purposes, not only for keeping Darlin' gender-neutral, but also because I see this song as a duet between them, and Darlin' obviously wouldn't be addressing Sam with the word 'girl' either. So! As with most songs on their playlist, we're just gonna mentally omit any gendered terms we come across.

Side note: Frustratingly, this is one of those songs that didn't really even need to gender the subject in the first place. No part of the story or message is lost without it. But alas, many songs are like that, and so the playlist-makers of the world shall continue to suffer. [/lh]

Anyways, preamble's over. It's lyric time now yay!

Sam's Part

I was a ten-year train wreck

Technically for Sam I suppose it was 13 years, but ten is close enough (and 'ten' admittedly flows a lot better in the rhythm of the song than 'thirteen' would.) Anyways, we're not here to split hairs, (I have to remind myself), we're just here to point out similarities.

In Sam's Dec. '22 HBW, he says "For the last 13 years or so I haven't had to care too much about how I look. Seemed a little redundant after turnin', considerin' I didn't wanna be around much'a anybody anyway."

I think he's mentioned or alluded to that roughly 13 year period of time more than once, but that's the one I remember best so it's the example I'm using. There's still about 4 Sam audios I've yet to listen to as of making this post, so if I'm missing some Key Lore I'll edit this later. But for now, I don't think Sam has given many specifics on exactly how bad things got during that time. Luckily, 'train wreck' is a pretty broad and subjective term, so it easily covers any degree to which he may have fallen apart during those years.

It also feels like a very 'him' way of quickly brushing over the details of his past/his hurt, as he seems to tend to do with Darlin', (not all the time ofc but it's still something I've noticed) putting his own hurt on the backburner to prioritize and attend to theirs. Even outside of his dynamic with them, I think as a healer, it's something he learned to do. And now he does it with everyone. Put on a brave face, compartmentalize things and unpack them later, etc. I could go on and on but there'll be time for that in other posts I'm sure. For now, lets get back to the song at hand.

With a last-call longneck

Due to personal reasons, I've yet to decide if I want to HC him as having used alcohol as a coping mechanism during that time. I don't recall him having mentioned alcohol much, if at all, (maybe one mention of whiskey that I don't have time to find right now) so I don't think it's necessarily canon that he did, but it's certainly possible. My personal preferences aside, I'll admit it makes for some good additional angst. (And- self-indulgently- it makes some other songs on my playlist for them more fitting.) So, for the sake of this song, let's imagine that he did.

I was searchin', I'd been hurt real bad

This one feels pretty self-explanatory given what Alexis did, (and, if you wanna get even angstier with it, whatever his family did earlier on in his life) so there isn't much commentary to add on my end.

I HC that in spite of 'not wanting to be around anybody', he- like Darlin- still had a tiny part of himself buried deep down that was, in a way, 'searching' for someone to find solace in. (No this isn't me projecting onto them both haha what are you talking about-)

Movin' on, gettin' sidetracked One step forward and five back

This is generally applicable enough that I don't feel the need to give too much of a specific example. Anyone who's recovered or is recovering from trauma knows this non-linear, back-and-forth struggle well already, and I'm sure he was no stranger to it.

If I were to give some examples though, I could point to Darlin's (and subsequently, Sam's) encounter with Alexis at the summit, or the shit that Quinn dredged up about Fredrick and threw at Sam in the interrogation room. Those are both more recent examples and I imagine these lines of the song to be coming from a place of him prior to meeting Darlin', but still, they're some instances where I'm sure he felt like the past was pulling him back in. I'm sure that there's been many throughout those 13 years that we were never witness to.

Not your fault, I was scared to fall

This line reminds me of their 'Cuddles and Confessions' audio. I don't think he ever explicitly said he was 'scared' per se, so afaik there's no specific line I can quote, but in that and every audio prior, he was obviously hesitant to admit, perhaps even to himself, that he was gradually falling for them. Even after the initial confession, there's certain limits of his (e.g. biting) that he carries for far longer, and some that I (and others) HC that he'll carry forever. So this line feels to me like him reassuring Darlin' that his reluctance isn't the fault of them, but his past.

Darlin's Part

You were the star in the pitch black Shine the way on the way back

We don't have any canon instances of them comparing Sam to a star, but I can see it being something they'd say (perhaps less poetically, but the sentiment would be there) one night while laying up on their roof watching the stars with him. Maybe they're dead-tired, talking nonsense with lidded eyes at the end of a long day, fighting sleep in favor of more time spent with him.

"What- what're you pointin' at Darlin'?"

Their hazy focus is trained on the brightest star visible in their line of sight, arm stretched out to the sky above them. "That really bright one, to the... to the left."

Sam does his best to follow their less-than-specific directions of 'to the left', their pointed finger doing little to help given the difference in perspective. Luckily, after all these years, he knows this stretch of night sky like the back of his hand, so it isn't hard to locate the brightest one. Ghosting his fingers up along their arm, he takes their hand in his and brings it back down to earth. "Okay, yeah, I see it now. What about it though?"

"That's you." They say, matter-of-factly.

"That's me?" He questions, humor in his tone.

"Mhm." They nod with finality, blinking slow.

Sam considers the odd statement for a moment before gently correcting them. "I'm uh, I'm pretty sure that's Sirius, actually."

They scoff. "I am being serious."

Sam stifles a laugh into their hair. "No- no I mean- like... what's another name for it... Oh! It's also called the Dog Star."

"C'mon Sam, at least call it the Wolf Star if you're trying to turn this around on me..."

He shakes his head and readies himself to explain further, but they cut him off before he can start. "But no- no, this one isn't about me. That's you."

He decides to play along, finding something endearing in their overtired nonsense. "Okay... then would'ja be so kind as to explain to this confused old man just how, or why that star is me?"

Their frown is audible in their voice as they latch onto the wrong part of his sentence. "You're not old, Sam. ...Do I need to tell Asher to kick the jokes down a notch?"

He smiles at their over-protectivity. "There'll be no need for that, now. Was just a joke, darlin', I promise."

They huff, but thankfully shift focus back to the prior topic. "It's... I dunno. It's just you, Sam. It's... bright. Light. Something warm, out there in the cold dark. Standing out amongst all the rest. Calling to me, stealing my attention. I... I didn't come out here looking for it, but there it is. ...There you were. In the dark. The only bright thing I'd seen in... fuck, in years. Years of chasing fleeting warmth, tripping over myself in the pitch black, falling into... places 'n people I shouldn't have. You were the light in that darkness. Even there, surrounded by the ghost of him. You outshone it. Your warmth didn't hurt. I didn't have to squint when I looked at you. You weren't the blinding sun. You were the brightest star I'd ever seen. You guided me back home."

In the back of their mind, they recall something they once heard, something about light, and time, and distance. Space. Something about... how you can see a star that's already burnt out, because it's light hasn't reached earth yet. The ghost of a star that's already died. Only still perceptible thanks to time, and distance.

They remember Sam's words, once whispered to them on this very roof.

"Whatever your choice is... I'm not gonna live forever. I made that decision a long time ago."

They think about dead stars.

They think about time.

"...-lin'? Darlin'?" Sam's calloused hand slides up their forearm, pulling them out of their thoughts. "There you are. Think I lost ya' for a minute there... you good?"

They look up at Sam, concern creasing his features, shadows cast across his face from the light of the dying stars above him.

They reach out, pulling him down into them. Burying their face into his collar, Sam's concern grows when he feels it saturate with tears. A human might struggle to hear their words, muffled against the thick fabric, but his hearing catches it just fine.

"Don't burn out too quick. Please. I still need you here. I don't- I don't wanna be left in the dark again. Please, please Sam. Don't leave me here. I'm not selfish enough to ask you for forever, but please. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet."

.......Whoopsies! Really, genuinely didn't mean to improv an entire scene there, good god. Also didn't mean to swerve hard into angst at the end but uh. that's what came out! so I'm rolling with it lmao. Aaanyways let's move on, it's getting late and this is a song analysis post, not a fic.

Out of nowhere, answered all my prayers

'Out of nowhere' reminds me of Sam's words from the same HBW video I referenced earlier. "You came into my life like a damn wreckin' ball. There was no preparing for that, clothing or otherwise." While those were Sam's words, not Darlin's, I still feel like they feel similarly to how suddenly Sam came into their life as well. (Not in a bad way, mind you!)

[the significance of 'answered all my prayers' edges into my own personal more headcanon-y/personal/OC-ified Darlin' territory, so we can just gloss over this one for the sake of at least attempting to keep this more universally applicable]

Picked up the towel that I threw in Took in a heart that was ruined

Again, largely self-explanatory I feel. (*proceeds to explain anyways*) I imagine that Darlin' was at the point of throwing in the towel, hellbent on a solo-mission to find Quinn regardless of the danger it posed to them. I doubt they were looking toward the future anymore, (to reference Sam,) fully willing to throw themself at their problems until they really did break.

The specific use of 'ruined' hits hard here, because after everything they went through with Quinn, and especially after he recounted it all to Sam in that interrogation room, I imagine that they really, truly did feel ruined.

Showed me the past ain't a tattoo Loved me even when you didn't have to

These lines in particular make me sick with emotion every time I hear this song, because I feel like they hit the nail on the head for how Darlin' feels.

I'll be here citing various quotes all night that I feel showcase that sentiment, but we don't have time for that! So instead I'm just pointing to the entirety of 'Quinn's Aftermath' video, and leaving you with this single quote from it.

"Everything that he said reflects nothin' on you, and everything on him."

Equally Applicable Lines

And I don't know why Why you saw something in me, baby But you saw right through All the pain, and you came and saved me Yeah, I know you didn't leave me lonely Weren't the one that put the heartbreak on me Picked up the pieces It wasn't the mess that you made Could've left me just the way you found me But you came and put your wings around me You went out of your way To fix what you didn't break

Again, I think these lines are all pretty self-explanatory, and are just as accurate coming from either one of them. To me, at least, their entire dynamic is that they saved each other, in their own ways.

(But I will admit, the final verses about 'going out of your way to fix what you didn't break' are definitely conjuring up memories of Sam in the early days, literally going out of his way to visit and heal Darlin' after their fight with the two vamps. In general, his continued/repeated healing of them after they once again hurt themselves is the very literal definition of fixing what he didn't break.

But! While we may have more blatant examples of Sam being 'the fixer' so to speak, I think he'd argue that Darlin' has done plenty fixing of their own. Physical wounds aren't the only things that need healing, after all.)

-------

[shameless self-promo of my Sam & Darlin' playlist for those few of u interested enough to make it to the very end of this wall of text. if u liked this then u might like some of the other songs on there soooo maybe go check it out and maybe perhaps give it a follow so i can get a little serotonin boost or dopamine or whatever the chemical is that's released when Number Go Up. ...okay that's it i hope u enjoyed my fixation-induced ramblings! thank u and goodnight]

[mid0khan]

Dreamling Week 2024, day 4

We're back for @mr-sadman 's Dreamling Week with a new fic!

Prompt: Shapeshifter

Title: The best weighted blanket in the world

Summary: Hob has a bad day, which triggers a meltdown; Dream is here to help. (732 words, no TW)

Read on Ao3:

Hob was usually the cheerful type. Always up to go out and see people, easily wonderstruck and able to feel genuine excitement for about anything.

He didn’t have bad days often. But when he did, he was truly and utterly miserable.

It was one of those days.

It hadn’t been triggered by anything, or at least if it had Hob didn’t know what. But still, he felt awful. A deep melancholia was weighting on him, a sourceless feeling that he had come to call old age. He had spent all day craving for the comfort of his bed, a dark room and a silent flat, but alas, he had important things planned. So he had pushed through, despite the smallest noise scratching his brain, the dimmest light hurting his eyes, or his clothes itching against his skin.

When he finally got home, he felt on the verge of a full-blown meltdown. He didn’t bother with diner or his usual evening shower, making a bee-line for his bed and collapsing on top of it. He sighed in relief, but quickly the discomfort came back. Unfounded anxiousness creeped up his body and Hob crawled under his sheets, obsessed with covering himself. He turned under the quilt, trying tangle himself in it so he would feel some soothing pressure, but in vain. Starting to feel desperate, he jumped from the bed, rushing to the wardrobe he put his weighted blanket in, and grabbed the thick cover. He lay down again with a relieved moan, cocooned under the heavy wool. Finally, he felt right.

He almost fell asleep, but once again a twinge of unease tickled his brain. He was too warm. He tried to ignore it, but as his skin became tacky with sweat, he started to struggle to breath, frustrated tears stinging in his eyes. He ended up tossing the blanket off the bed while cursing summer and its infernal heat. As soon as he lost the weight the creeping anguish washed over him anew, and he couldn’t stop discouraged sobs from tearing through him.

“Hob?” Morpheus’ deep voice echoed in the room, making Hob startle. He turned quickly in the direction of the sound, an unvoluntary whimper escaping him as he saw the worry on his lover’s face. In an instant the Endless was by his side, softly tucking his damp hair behind his ear, his brows furrowed with open concern. “My love, are you alright?” Hob started crying for real. “Please, tell me what is wrong,” Morpheus pleaded, alarm clear in his voice.

“It’s just… The blanket, but it’s too warm… I fell… I need…” Hob stammered, pointing at the weighted blanket and gesticulating with his hands, desperate for Morpheus to understand.

The Endless looked confused for a moment, but suddenly comprehension dawned on him. He stood up, arms outstretched on both sides of his body. His frame started thinning and widening.

“What are you doing?” Hob cried out in disarray.

“I am offering a solution to your bedding problem,” Morpheus answered as his body reached a perfect square shape with only his head, hands and feet poking out.

“You look like a flying squirrel,” Hob whispered as his lover lay down on him, covering his whole body in his ever-cool embrace. He was surprisingly light.

“Tell me when the weight suits you.” He became heavier and heavier until Hob sighed with relief.

“That’s perfect, thank you.” He nuzzled in Morpheus’ squary shoulder.

“You’re welcome,” the Endless kissed his temple. “I am glad I was able to help. You seemed really distressed.”

“Yeah, had a shitty day today. Felt really overwhelmed with everything.”

“You could have called me. I dislike the idea of you suffering alone.” Hob could feel Morpheus’ pout against his cheek.

“It’s alright love, I can manage. I’ve had far worse.”

“You always tell me to come to you if I feel unwell. I would have you do the same,” Morpheus said with a tone of finality.

“You have better things to do than coddle me when I’m feeling down,” Hob argue without conviction.

“That is for me to decide. Now sleep, Hob Gadling. I’ll meet you in your dreams.”

Lulled by the soft buzz of Morpheus’ presence, his discomfort finally quieted by the soothing weight on his body and the Endless’ petrichor smell, Hob fell asleep quickly. Bad days weren’t so bad with his lover by his side.

(I do not resist to join this gem, if only because looking at it made this very hard to write without wheezing with laughter)

[springcrafter]

Man, the Antisemites are getting bold.

Friendly reminder that "from the river to the sea" is a chant calling for the extermination of half the world's Jewish populace. Like. I cannot believe that in the Year of the Lord 2023 I have to risk being targeted only so I can come out here and explain this.

And mind you I live in this shithole, I speak Hebrew, I get to see the worst of the worst that Jewish Israelis are saying. I'm not gonna repeat it because it could be triggering, but I'm also not gonna sit here and pretend everyone here is a peace-loving hippy. The difference being that vile attitudes are called out and made into outliers in broader society.

(Notably, I saw this when I was taking shelter from rockets on the stairwell - I live in a predominantly center-right area and when someone said something vile they were reminded that the Palestinians in Gaza aren't all Hamas, have no control of their fate, and also have it 100% worse than we ever will)

Thing is, Israelis are not a monolith and a sizable majority are unflinchingly critical of our government. Netanyahu put us in this position and he has so much blood on his hands it's not even a point worth making. By dividing and conquering and pretending that senseless violence is a show of strength, he has made us weaker. We're terrified and traumatized and he continues to perpetuate that fear and trauma to capitalize on it. He was right when he said this was our darkest hour, and he was the one who brought us here. All because he wants to stay in power and avoid going to jail. Over here we loathe him and criticize him more than anyone outside of Israel ever could.

I'm not behind him. I condemn his use of extreme violence and his disregard for Palestinian lives. I know the warmongers from either side don't care about their civilians and are happy to get rich from our suffering but he could at least pretend.

Listen. Call me a hippy, but I believe that everyone who calls this sliver of land their home should have a right to live here in peace. I believe in the right of the Palestinian people to independence and self-determination. Thing is, in my experience, "Free Palestine" is a slogan so vague that it can mean different things and I'm rather wary of it. Do you mean "free Palestine from the tyranny of its leaders and the Israeli occupation" or "free Palestine from all the Jews and kick them all to the sea"? It has become enough of a dogwhistle that I stopped trusting it and by extension, anyone who holds these views while conveniently ignoring the atrocities of October 7 and the frankly appalling reporting around the al-Ahli Arab Hospital explosion.

(It's the same with Zionism, and why I don't affiliate myself with the movement. I believe in the right of Jewish people to self-determination and a home in their ancestral homeland, and I think the unabashed Antisemitism I've seen lately justifies that position, but I cannot approve of the atrocities that have been done to get here or people who support and justify them)

My point is, if the (otherwise legitimate) Free Palestine movement is going to harbor, shelter and encourage Antisemitism - all I can say from here is, I see you. And while I would love to go elsewhere, alas, I'm stuck here, so that's not going to change.

(ETA: Thank you to the person in my replies for proving my point)

[pyropsychiccollector]

Natsu Harem: Fairy GET! 8/14

We're dipping into the delightful second half here~.... (人◕ω◕) You can probably prepare for more references to other girls in the harem by now... You know most of them. (人◕ω◕)

Today's member is... Seilah-chan. Goddess of the Chill Moon. Or Sayla. However you prefer to write it out. ... I'll probably slip into using Sayla, just as a head's up. :3

When did they meet?

This question is... surprisingly tricky. (人◕ω◕) I haven't really talked about this aspect of Natsu's character up until now, but we were bound to get around to it eventually. "Spoiler" alert, but Natsu isn't exactly human... He's technically Etherious. Zeref's greatest creation, his beloved brother reborn... Although to be frank, his origins weren't all that great... As wrapped up in mystery as they are.

Since the series allows me some wiggle room... Let's run with this: For the first while after Natsu was brought back to life, he lived up until young adulthood, mastering his demonic powers. Zeref, of course, was fixated on dying, and Natsu being the bullheaded guy he is... Well, the demonic genes messed with his head. He went berserk like Zeref's other demons, but it was more controlled in Natsu... In END. All he could think about was destruction, especially destroying Zeref, as was ingrained into his very being.

END would go on to round up some of Zeref's most powerful demons. He figured that since he wasn't cutting it on his own in destroying Zeref, some allies would be much appreciated... But END was no fool. Demons don't appreciate being "subjugated", even if it's for the cause that they were all designed for. If they weren't pliable to forming alliances with one another, END asserted his dominance as the greatest among them. He brought Jackal to heel. Tempester. Kyouka. Ezel. Franmalth. Torafuzar. He convinced Keyes to join up... Proved his strength to the proud Mard Geer...

And of course, END won over the femme fatale, Sayla. (人◕ω◕) She had watched him dominate so many demons... Bringing them to form one unit... And Sayla, ah... Pardon the pun, but she was rather horny for END-sama. (人◕ω◕);;;

... Oh yes, they made love. Many, many times. END might have had a one-track mind with destruction, but Sayla certainly brought out a lust in him... Oh yes. (人◕ω◕);;;

Alas, before END could get to the meat of why he established Tartaros, Zeref put his foot down. He saw the mindless destruction and suffering END and Tartaros was creating, and Zeref thought it was counterintuitive to his brother's goal... Not to mention, there was a part of the Black Wizard that was pained at seeing his brother so... evil. So twisted.

Hence, Zeref sealed away Natsu's memories and his demonic powers. Giving him a fresh start yet again, leaving the book that contained Natsu's memories and demonic powers in Mard Geer's care. Natsu still wouldn't listen to him, as a young child... After speaking at length with Igneel, Zeref left Natsu in the dragon's care, hoping that Dragon Slayer magic would bring about a more stable and focused "human being." It made Zeref feel better, watching his brother interact with the other Dragon Slayer children...

Of course, Zeref did nothing about Tartaros. Just let them be as a remnant of END's past... They were given no answers to END's disappearance, and none of them besides Mard Geer discerned why they existed in the first place. Perhaps because he became the keeper of END's book. For her part, Sayla was... devastated with the loss of her END-sama...

But time marched on. Flash forward a few hundred years, and Tartaros formed alliances with Oracion Seis and Grimoire Heart. They were still pretty aimless, save for searching for their Master, END. Eventually they would come into conflict with Fairy Tail... And they would be fatefully reunited with END-sama.

... And they didn't even know it until the war was over.

When did they get closer?

For this question, we'll skim past the Tartaros arc in general. (人◕ω◕) I wouldn't really change much. Tartaros still screwed themselves over, making enemies of Fairy Tail. Especially with the additional members in their midst that have been amassing over time... (人◕ω◕) I suppose you know about Kagura, Simon, and his friends... But more on this later.

The point is, Tartaros really screwed up. ... However... (人◕ω◕) Through a twist of fate, Mard Geer attempts opening END's book once he's defeated, and it gives Natsu some of his memories back. Just enough to know that Tartaros was his guild... And he's not letting Zeref kill Mard Geer or any of them. They're his. And nobody touches what belongs to END. (人◕ω◕) That said, Zeref re-seals Natsu's memories, but agrees to spare Mard Geer and any of the remaining Demon Gates. The Black Wizard just wants to get to that war between him, humanity, and Acnologia.

Mard Geer, Torafuzar, Jackal, Franmalth, and Sayla all survive that war with Fairy Tail. ... And it's not like they can just join up with the fairies, not after everything that happened. But because of what Mard Geer knows, they also agree to still help Natsu destroy Zeref... It's what they were built for. (人◕ω◕) And Sayla in particular, well... She might be stalk- *coughs* tagging along with Natsu during his training trip with the Strauss Siblings while the guild is disbanded. ... Without Natsu knowing, of course. ... It is not stalking. Sayla will eviscerate you if you insult her pride like that. (人◕ω◕);;; She was left in a better state after Erza beatdown Kyouka, so Mira never got to absorb Sayla. ... And, uh. Sayla might or might not be testy about Mira being around END-sama so much... (人◕ω◕);;;;;;;;;;

Regardless! \(人◕ω◕)/ Sayla reintroduces herself to END-sama while the Strauss Siblings aren't around. Sure, he doesn't remember her, doesn't even have the same powers, but that's all immaterial to Sayla. She can tell he's END-sama after being in his presence for prolonged periods, and that means everything to her. Sayla even grows fond of Natsu's... kinder personality. He's destructive still, always itching to fight, but he has so much heart. She can see flashes of END-sama in him... And she's glad that he's become this person. "This" Natsu shows her how to live, and not just to pursue a goal to death. He's not as fond of reading as END-sama... But sometimes, Sayla is lucky enough to rest his head in her lap and read to him. And Natsu rolls with that. (人◕ω◕)

... It does get interesting, though, when the Strauss Siblings inevitably discover her stalk- *coughs* tagging along with them. (人◕ω◕);;; Elfman still isn't happy about being used to make the guild blow up, and Lisanna and Mira don't much like Sayla being so... intimate with Natsu. But Natsu vouches for how she's changed, and she does let Elfman vent on her for a bit... Her actions in Tartaros might not be forgiven, but she's trying to be a better person... despite being a demon.

Mira, though... she's definitely the hardest to win over. (人◕ω◕);;; She repeatedly tries fighting Sayla to exhaustion so that she can absorb the "damned succubus", but Sayla ain't havin' any of that. (人◕ω◕);;;;;;;; Yeah. Mira and Sayla-chan are very fiery rivals. Ahaha. (人◕ω◕);;;

When did friendship turn to something more?

Unsurprisingly, Sayla-chan's feelings have been strong for two of Natsu's "lifetimes". She was devout to END-sama, and though this new Natsu took some getting used to... Put simply, Sayla-chan loves this Natsu even more. Yes, and that is love, not just plain lust. (人◕ω◕) In Alvarez arc, Natsu fights for Sayla's continued life as well... And with August's help, they rewrite her book along with Natsu's. That way, when Zeref is defeated... the only parts of them that "die" are the demonic parts. ... So in a way, Sayla and Natsu are reborn as humans. None of the other demons expressed a desire to keep on living... But Sayla helped spare them anyway, again enlisting August's expertise in rewriting their books. So Mard Geer, Jackal, Franmalth, and Torafuzar all have fresh beginnings. ... As humans. (人◕ω◕) Sayla learned this sense of mercy, compassion, and loyalty from her Natsu, and she wants to enjoy all this new human life has to offer... right by his side.

Natsu still doesn't get his old memories back. But... Sayla still becomes important to him. She really changed for the better, and he does still find her to be very beautiful, even without horns. ... To the annoyance of some people. (人◕ω◕);;;;;;;;;

Sayla-chan did butt heads with Yukino and Sorano in the beginning cuz of their contracts with Celestial Spirits... But once reborn as a human, Sayla-chan became besties with Sorano-chan. ... (人◕ω◕) More on that friendship later. But, uh. Know that they like spoiling Natsu. ... Very, very much. (人◕ω◕)(人◕ω◕)(人◕ω◕) Mira-chan's pissed off she can't absorb Sayla anymore... But if you think this will stop her from trying to blow the former demon away, you're very sorely mistaken. Mira-chan grumbles a lot whenever Sayla's around or when she's a topic of discussion. ... Mostly cuz of Sayla continuously asserting herself as Natsu's true first, and all that fanatical devotion to Natsu........

Yes, Mira-chan has many... many... many... words. (人◕ω◕)

[hopeymchope]

More Echoes of Wisdom thoughts

It turns out — despite my initial hype — this game absolutely does not scratch my deep, yearning desire for a new top-down 2D Zelda game. Because it so fundamentally DOESN'T play like one of the classics that it's just a totally different/new experience.

There's no gradual progression of your abilities where you unlock new items/skills as you go. There's very little in the way of Zelda-style combat because Zelda is more of a "summon a creature to fight for me and then run away/hide" character, evidently. You can try to play it like that, but if you use up her "Swordsman Possession" energy on overworld, you're going to need to be chugging TONS of refill smoothies ALL THE TIME... it's just not feasible.

Am I having fun? Yes. This is much more enjoyable to me than Tears of the Kingdom, which had a far more obnoxious system of construction/open-endedness. Given the variety of items on offer, it is kind of lame that most puzzles can be solved with a stack of Old Beds — reminds me of how 90% of Scribblenauts could be solved by writing "Jetpack" — and stacking things suffers sometimes from the extreme jankiness of TotK-style construction. But by and large, it's pretty satisfying to get up higher and conquer new obstacles/foes with your Echoes! And the overworld is a joy to explore.

Makin' my way the only way I know how

Is it scratching the itch I've had for new 2D Zelda that I've had fucking years? No. Definitely not, alas. :( At least A Link Between Worlds gave me like HALF of a scratching, but... we're still not getting what I yearn for here.

*sigh* Time to put the sign back on the original count again...