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lilacstro · 1 month

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Astro observations part 14

Well, the result of my poll clearly said for this and waiting for it to end would make no difference I know haha, so here we go with part 14 :)

people with planets in subconscious houses(4/8/12) in water signs or even having planets in all of them or at least 2 could be really emotionally receptive, and may feel overwhelming emotions, sometimes being unable to manage this tsunami and moodiness that can manifest can even cause mental troubles

Girls having an afflicted moon/mars placement, or moon or mars in harsh aspects can experience hormonal/menstrual problems some point in life

One of the best friendships happen when your moon sign matches someone's sun sign and vice versa

women with 5th house Leo/Aries/Sun/Mars could be really protective around their children

For girls who say "I always cry on my birthday" or "my birthday month is my worst" could actually have sun transition into their 8th/12th house at the time of their birthday month. I can make a post on how your birthday month could be for you, let me know if you guys want to read.

I often tell my clients and I have seen it myself, people with strong Jupiter in their chart are the ones that go through a lot of hard times, the lesson here is to maintain that unwavering faith and optimistic mindset and move forward, it is not until then that you have learnt, Jupiter starts to bless you :)

people with ruler of 4th in 10th could actually struggle with having their secrets be their secrets in life, it would just somehow come out to people, not exactly fully exposed but people would know something is up.

planets in your 4th house can in fact tell you what you may like to keep hidden, for example having NN in 4th may not really like sharing my goals or plans with people.

ok so I recently saw some celebrity's newborn's natal chart, and I saw Mars conjunct Uranus in the second, and it just speaks to me that somewhere in this life, this baby gonna want to spend money like crazily-excessively and he would rebel otherwise, this sure can turn into many more mature things with time, but that impulsivity with money seems something that he needs to look after

Mercury in Leo people are actually so unafraid lmao, they can deliver the most obviously wrong facts with full confidence and when you confront them, well you cannot actually. But they can make excellent journalists, debaters, politicians etc.

People with 6th/8th/12th house placements or any of these houses in Virgo/Libra risings should be very aware of who they are entertaining. These kinds of people are actually really giving by nature but they need to be sure that people are not blantly "expecting" them/ latching onto them just for getting what they want.

6th house- literal service, cooking, cleaning, looking after them in tough times

8th house- to change them for their good at the cost of draining yourself

12th house- to mentally elevate or spiritually enlighten someone on the right path

I think it is not very talked about and a very underrated thing but Neptune in 2nd house people can be really intuitive, things they say may come true but they would not have enough confidence to speak it out or believe it themselves is one thing. Can make really good psychic/tarot readers and even astrologers.

Venus in 12th house people may attract situations where they can unknowingly want to keep their relationship/friendships private BUT please for god's sake, talk about it to other people, since to me this translates as an isolated Venus and the chances of being manipulated run high and you probably would not even know.

People who can have their comments get a lot of likes or want to comment out of desire can have Mercury in 11th, but please note Mercury and the 11th should most likely be in fire or air signs, water and earth can rather keep their opinions to themselves.

Speaking of which if you have Mercury-Mars placement in 11th, you are very likely to be someone who fights for what they like, be unafraid of arguing or putting out your comment on internet, for example: fighting that your fav artist is right or this song is being hated on for no reason etc.

You may often find yourself contradicting between the life choices of your North Node and South Node house/Signs. For example, someone with NN in 4th and SN in 10th would want to think "ok I wanna marry young, have kids and look after my kids", OR sometimes think "no not at all I will be an unmarried childless girlboss living her life in 30s", it is likely that it is not in between OR it can be, "well how will I manage this desire to have a successful career and be a mother at the same time idk"

People with Sun/Saturn and Neptune in harsh aspects could have father struggling with substances, or maybe dogmatism or have some kind of un real ideals, may feel very hard to impress, yet you would probably still in some want to get his validation which rather seems impossible because of how out of the world and unrealistic it could be.

Wherever Juno sits in your chart can show what can change in your life most when you meet your spouse or most significant other, for example people with Juno in 11th, would change what they usually prayed or wished for, their friends and social life. Juno in 9th may become more philosophical or open to higher education. Can make another post on this one

Speaking of which, Juno can also give clues on how your future spouse could be, it is like a tarot kind of description, not everything would be accurate but some of it sure would be. For example, Juno in 11th could have spouse who works on Internet or through Internet, could have Aquarian traits of having strong, different opinions, BIG hopes and dreams, etc. Can make a post on this one again lmao

paid readings open

support me on ko-fi :)

well that is it for today, send your post suggestions from above or anything else you wanna see:)

i love you all <3

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astrobiscuits · 7 months

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Chiron persona chart obs

WARNING: BRIEF MENTIONS OF ED, S*ICIDE, S*XUAL AB*SE. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND NOT TO READ THIS POST IF YOU'RE VERY SENSITIVE thank you

Stelliums show us where our main trauma or wound lies:

Stellium in Aries/1st house - body image issues/body dysmorphia, hating ones face and wanting to change it at all cost, being so focused on ones trauma that it results in excessive independence

Stellium in Taurus/2nd house - self worth issues, hating ones voice and/or being made fun of for how ones voice sounds, excessive shopping due to fear of having nothing, having stash of cash hidden everywhere in the house due to being scared of getting robbed

Stellium in Gemini/3rd house - being too scared to speak to others, hating the way you express yourself, being an overachiever at school due to fear of being seen as "stupid", fear of being run over by a bicycle or a car

Stellium in Cancer/4rd house - family problems (divorced parents, one of the parents is out of the picture for whatever reason, family members dealing with addictions, family abuse), issues when it comes to comforting yourself in times of crisis, HEAVY abandonment issues

Stellium in Leo/5th house - had to grow up too fast instead of enjoying childhood, fear of not being "the perfect parent", fear of not making it in the industry (for those pursing creative careers or following their passions), issues regarding getting pregnant and delivering a child, fear of being burned by the sun or by fire

Stellium in Virog/6th house - fear of contacting an incurable disease, issues regarding eating disorders, trauma regarding messy spaces, which results in OCD

Stellium in Libra/7th house - issues caused by getting cheated in a relationship, fear of trusting someone in a one-on-one connection, trauma resulted from business affairs which have gone wrong

Stellium in Scoprio/8th house - fear of death, issues caused by sexual trauma/sexual abuse, grooming, stalking, human trafficking, mysterious disappearances, divorce, taxes, loans

Stellium in Sagittarius/9th house - fear of not being able to experience everything one has always wanted, issues caused by not living to ones full potential, fear of travelling too far away, religious trauma

Stellium in Capricorn/10th house - fear of being forgotten and not standing out, issues regarding not looking & acting in a professional manner when needed, fear of not being promoted in ones career, the trauma is very visible to the public

Stellium in Aquarius/11th house - fear of not fitting in a crowd or a friend group, issues regarding being part of LGBTQ+ or a subculture often dismissed (POC, people with disabilities, orphanage kids, emos), trauma related to the country's government and (possible) implications in war, fear of dying in a natural disaster (earthquake, tsunami, volcano), fear of dying by electrocution or in an airplane crash

Stellium in Pisces/12th house - fear of being admitted to a prison, asylum or nursing home, having frequent thoughts of unaliving onself, fear of drowning, fear of what happens after death, fear of being misunderstood or made fun of for hearing voices and seeing things which aren't real

Moon shows us how we process our trauma and wounds:

Moon in Aries/1st house : screams, throws things around (maybe also breaks a few things), if anyone reminds them of their wounds/traumas, they'd literally break that person's neck; they might recklessly drive, play with fire or drink excessively out of anger

Moon in Taurus/2nd house : resorts to retail therapy, cooks their favourite meals, gets some comfy pillow and blankets and watches their favourite show; they're slow to heal their wounds, but they manage to do so

Moon in Gemini/3rd house : overanalyzes what happened to the point that they've thought of every scenario possible, (if they have more than one wound/trauma) switches between wounds, is usually open about their wounds and traumas with siblings and acquaintances

Moon in Cancer/4th house : cries 24/7, acts distant with people who are not close to them and defensive with those who want to talk about their feelings; they tend to have very, very unhealthy coping mechanisms (aka they resort to self-harm)

Moon in Leo/5th house : transforms their pain & wounds into a form of art - whether it's through dancing, painting, singing, acting, photography, videography; sometimes they might not recognize how much their past affects them, especially around others, they boast about how "it wasn't that bad" even though they're clearly affected by what happened

Moon in Virgo/6th house : focuses on the details, what they could have done better and what they didn't, easily becomes anxious, cleaning the house becomes a form of therapy for them; in case of physical wounds, they document themselves very well (sometimes they are even able to heal themselves, since this Moon sign in Chiron persona chart has a sort of 6th sense about medicinal procedures)

Moon in Libra/7th house : their s/o knows every pain, wound and traumas they've ever experienced, analyzes the past in a logical manner and tries to find a healthy coping mechanism, without hurting anyone else in the process; listens to sad, romantic songs

Moon in Scorpio/8th house : if someone else is guilty for their wounds/traumas, they're going to plot revenge and execute their plan in a discreet manner; often jealous, they might pursue fwb connections to stop thinking about their pain; the ones who manage to deal with their past in a healthy manner become a completely different person in the process

Moon in Sagittarius/9th house : dealing with their wounds/traumas opens a new world for them, they end up adopting a new set of beliefs as a coping mechanism, travelling to another country to get some space from their surroundings helps them heal

Moon in Capricorn/10th house : replays the past over and over again, they numb their emotions, if asked about their wounds/traumas, they answer very stoic; they also tend to be more realistic and don't like to tell themselves lies or hear lies about their trauma

Moon in Aquarius/11th house : resorts to technology to cope with the pain, is usually open about their wounds and traumas with their friends or on social media, but not with family; they might try some unusual coping mechanisms

Moon in Pisces/12th house : they isolate themselves from everyone in order to cope with the pain, meditation and breathing techniques are their to-go methods of calming their anxiety down; if they don't manage to cope in a healthy way, they dissociate and go through a depersonalization process or an addiction takes over them (drinking, smoking, they overuse medication etc.)

Jupiter shows us where we're blessed, but fail to see. The stronger the modality, the more obvious it is to other people.

♃ Jupiter in fixed signs (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius) and/or fixed houses (2nd house, 5th house, 8th house, 11th house) are extremely blessed and everyone is able to notice, but the native.

♃ Jupiter in cardinal signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn) and/or cardinal houses (1st house, 4th house, 7th house, 11th house) are blessed, but only a specific category of people notice it.

♃ Jupiter in mutable signs (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces) and/or mutable houses (3rd house, 6th house, 9th house, 12th house) are still blessed, but the effect is hardly noticeable to anyone.

Those with:

Grand Trine/Kite/Yod (Finger of God)

Sun, Jupiter, North Node and ruler of the chart conjuncting MC and/or placed in 10th/11th house (minimum 2 placements)

Stellium in 10th house/11th house

-> have got amazing healing abilites and often end up pursuing careers where they help & heal society (usually as doctors, therapists, spiritual advisors, social workers, advocates who actually make a difference, etc.) They usually become famous for their healing gifts.

Other small considerations:

Ascendant shows us how we are perceived at first glance when we are dealing with pain

IC shows us how we are perceived by our family (or in a safe, secluded place) when we are dealing with pain

DSC shows us how we are perceived by our partner or best friend when we are dealing with pain

MC shows us how we are perceived in public (or in our career) when we are dealing with pain

North Node shows us our salvation (where we need to focus on in order to heal)

🕊 Sun trine Moon & Sun sextile Moon individuals have an easier time healing their traumas and wounds

🕊 Sun opposite Saturn & Sun square Saturn individuals feel the need to rebel from their father/grandparents, norms that have been imposed on them, old customs & traditions, institutions/government, in order to heal themselves

#astro #astro community #astrology #astro placements #astro observations #astro posts #astroblr #astro blog #astro notes #persona chart #chiron #chiron persona chart

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kunaigirl · 1 year

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Happy Disability Pride and awareness month! Let's talk about Epilepsy!

Hi there! I got tired of seeing my condition (that impacts my literal every day life) being left out or forgotten about during discussions about disabilities, so I made my own post about it! Let's go!

First Off! What the heck is epilepsy? Epilepsy is the fourth most common neurological disorder in the world, and it's a chronic medical condition. Epilepsy is a brain disorder that causes recurring, frequent, triggered, and unprovoked seizures to occur.

The official Epilepsy Foundation describes seizures as follows: "Seizures are sudden surges of abnormal and excessive electrical activity in your brain, and can affect how you appear or act. Where and how the seizure presents itself can have profound effects...Seizures involve sudden, temporary, bursts of electrical activity in the brain that change or disrupt the way messages are sent between brain cells. These electrical bursts can cause involuntary changes in body movement or function, sensation, behavior or awareness." (Source link)

Sounds like a lot of fun right? This is our life. Even with medication, we can be VERY limited to what can be safe for us. Seizure medications are NOT a cure, they only exist (at least as of now) as a tool to help have your seizures less often, or be triggered less intensely. Even on medication, seizures can still happen.

If you have epilepsy as a child like I did, it impacts your entire growing and developing experience. I spent MANY times as a child in and out of hospitals, neurologist and specialist offices, an getting so many EEG tests done. The pain of scrubbing the glue out of your hair for DAYS is horrible.

At a young age my seizures were so frequent and serious, it impacted my brain's ability to retain information. I had to re-learn the names of things at age 8 and 9. I had to re-learn HOW TO READ at age 10. I had to be home schooled because the public school system of my state at the time refused to work with me. I have VERY distinct and vivid memories of crying over my little baby ABC's book that I needed as a 4th and 5th grader. I knew I should've known this by this age. I knew that at one point I already did, and it was TAKEN FROM ME.

As an adult, I'M NOT ALLOWED TO DRIVE A CAR. And I can NEVER go to see a movie in theaters or go to see concerts or live music. There are entire TV shows I don't get to see. I can't go to clubs, arcades, dances, or raves. I miss out on A LOT of fun things. I always do, and I'm WELL AWARE of the fun I'm missing out on. The social, casual, and fun life experiences I'll never get to have. That WE'LL never get to have. And oh yeah! Seizures can KILL SOME OF US. Yep.

And the list goes on, and every person with epilepsy experiences it differently. There are multiple different types of seizures you can have, they're NOT always convulsing on the floor. For example, I have complex-partial-myoclonic-seizures. Meaning my muscles DO twitch when I have seizures, but I'm not always completely unconscious and sometimes I'm even able to stay sitting up. However, I'm still very "off" and can't focus or remember much for a good while after the fact. I can't talk or communicate during one, even with my slight bit of consciousness.

My experiences are not universal, I just wanted to talk about it and bring it up. It helps to talk about it even a little bit. Here's more about different kinds of seizures. Here's more about common seizure triggers. Here's more about CORRECT seizure first aid. And here's more general information/resources.

Please stop leaving us out of disability awareness. Please stop ignoring us or saying we're "not really disabled" or anything else like that. Please. Why does it always feel like the only people who care about epilepsy, are people WITH epilepsy? We're so tired of being ignored by others who don't have our condition.

If you're an epileptic person reading this, I see you. I love you. You're so strong, we all are. I believe in you, I believe in us. We're so much stronger than we get credit for, and it's going to be ok. Your anger and frustration are valid. Your emotions and struggles are real. You're valid, and I see you. Hang in there, we got this.

#epilepsy #epilepsy awareness #actually epileptic #disability pride month #disability awareness month #disability awareness #ok to reblog #disability pride

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phoward89 · 4 months

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Based on this ask

Young!President!Coriolanus x Reader

WARNING ⚠️ struggling to conceive, infertility, miscarriage, 2nd trimester miscarriage, anti-adoption views, adoption, angst, tragedy, bittersweet ending, Soft!Coryo, Supportive!Coryo

This is a very touchy, hard, and difficult subject. I hope I did this request justice.

*This is set in the Not A Bob universe*

You and your husband, President Coriolanus Snow, have been married for a few years now. And in those few years you've desperately wanted a child. It started with a tiny want once you saw your friends start to get pregnant right away after getting married and grew into a desperate need once you and your iciscle of a husband celebrated your 5th wedding anniversary.

Truth be told, you were worried about your lack of conceiving since you and Coryo never used protection and fucked like bunnies. Only the gods know how high of a sex drive your husband has; how often he's plowing into you. So, in your mind you feel like you should've been pregnant at least 3 times already. But, sadly, you and your husband haven't been blessed.

And then one of your friends sends you a pregnancy announcement that has you in tears. She got married a few months before you and she's now having her fourth (Yes fourth!) child.

Your husband finds you staring at the announcement as if you'd be able to set it on fire via telekinesis. Upon walking over to the sofa in your private parlor, located in the living quarters of the Presidential Palace, he notices what the announcement is for that's lying on the coffee table.

Oh no. Your peasant of a friend, that managed to set her claws into some mediocre politician (who's in the rival party of the President), is having another brat. In Coriolanus' opinion he feels that your friend, Megara (who he never approved of) shouldn't be gloating and taunting you with professionally made up pregnancy announcements- not with how you and he have been struggling to conceive.

Coriolanus is concerned, as are you, about a lack of pregnancy. Of course, he needs an heir to carry on the Snow name, but he truly does want at least one child with you because he loves you; wants a family with you. And being on this hard, frustrating journey of trying and failing to fall pregnant every damn month during the past 5 years has shown him just how much he loves you and wants a family with you.

He's sure you'd be a wonderful mother and he wants nothing more then to make you one. But, unfortunately, he's been unable to do that.

You've both been to doctors and have gotten tests done, only to be assured that you're both young and healthy. You've both been told that you're trying ‘too hard’ to conceive; that it'll happen when you least expect it. You just nod and take in everything you're told while your husband curtly nods while thinking about whether to seek other opinions; what could be done to make a child possible.

The President lets out a deep sigh and sits down next to you. Wrapping his arms around you; holding you close to his chest and allowing you to cry, Coriolanus tells you, “I know you're hurt that she's having another baby while we haven't had one yet.” Softly stroking your hair, something that seems to calm him more than you, he assures you, “You can cry, my darling. I know you better than you know yourself, just let it out; cry.”

“It's not fair, Coryo.” You tell him as the tears you've been holding back starts rolling down your cheeks in a tremendous downpour. “Why does Megara, hell everyone we know, have children but we don't? Why can't I get pregnant?”

“I don't know, baby. I honestly don't know why everyone's able to have such an excessive amount of children while we're struggling to conceive just one.”

“It's not fair. Megara knows how hard the subject of pregnancy is for me and she just sends me this generic, but professionally done announcement. She couldn't have the decency and respect to call; tell me on the video phone or face to face at an afternoon tea or something?”

“Megara was always a peasant with poor manners. Her marrying some mediocre staffer for a senator of the party opposing mine just shows it.” Coriolanus tells you. Pressing a kiss to your head while continuing to stroke your hair, he suggests, “We could always go to another doctor. Get another opinion; see if there's any options.”

“You know there's nothing that can be done, Coryo. And the only option we have is adoption.”

“I refuse to discuss the topic of adoption, darling. I don't want some unwanted, District reject or some bastard baby of some Capitol City whore. I want our child to carry on the Snow bloodline; to make our family complete.” The president coldly and a bit cruelly tells you; cutting off the discussion of adoption before it can truly even begin.

You've learnt over the years to not to push your husband too hard. You cut your hair super short once, when you and Coriolanus were 18, and it really hit your relationship hard. There was trust lost between you that had to be rebuilt, especially when drama and rumors surrounded his tribute surfaces, but the two of you prevailed in the end. But, after that incident, you tried your hardest not to push Coriolanus’ buttons too hard.

And it seems like adoption was a subject that wouldn't push the President's buttons, but would push his big red nuclear weapon button.

Knowing that adoption was off the table, you weakly nod and agree to see another doctor. Coryo just kisses you and wipes the tears from your eyes. Then he assures you that he'll make the appointment for as soon as possible.

The latest doctor, one that was a fertility expert, had told you that you're young and healthy. That you seem to be in prime condition to have a child. He also concludes that stress might be a large factor in your issues to conceive, considering that you're the First Lady; that you're husband's President Snow.

The doctor gives you a diet plan full of foods that are rich in nutrients and vitamins known to help women conceive. He also gives you hormonal supplements to take as well. Oh, and the doctor explains how to track your ovulation and how to position yourself during and after lovemaking to ensure that your husband's seed takes root.

And Coriolanus is very tedious when it comes to you following the doctor’s orders. He's so hopeful after you received new instructions from a specialist, but you just feel exhausted. And now fucking is a project. Oh boy, it's normal until you start your ovulation window; then it feels like a big production. Various positions before and after to ensure that Coriolanus' seed can successfully get to your womb and take root is a very daunting task.

But your husband doesn't seem to mind. He's determined to have a child with you. But at this point you're about to throw in the towel. You're just so damn exhausted.

But after roughly 5 months of hormonal supplements and ritualistic sex, you FINALLY get pregnant.

When you missed your period, you were nervous and told Coryo. Of course, he made you an appointment with the doctor right away to be checked. You had blood tests done as well as a urine sample test. Waiting for the results while sitting on an examination table, in an itchy gown, with your husband by your side- clenching your hand with an iron grip- was very daunting.

“President Snow, First Lady Snow, I have the test results right here.” The fertility doctor announced, holding some papers in his hand, as he entered your room in the clinic. Sitting down on the stool near you, the doctor looked between you and your husband, only to smile, “Congratulations, First Lady Snow, you're pregnant.”

FINALLY!

After everything that you've been thru during the last 5 years you're finally expecting a child with the love of your life. You just can't believe it. You feel nothing overjoyed and relieved to finally be pregnant after so long.

Coryo, well, he's elated too. Ever since he's said his vows to you and made you his wife he's wanted a family with you. Now, the want is a reality. One that he's happy about. One that he feels blessed about. Coriolanus knew that with enough patience and perseverance it'd happen. That you'd fall pregnant.

“With the date of your last cycle that you provided the nurse with, I estimate that you're about 6 weeks a long in your pregnancy. I'd like to do an ultrasound to measure the fetus and get a better estimate of conception and how far along you are, First Lady Snow.”

“Okay.” You nod, smiling happily, while your husband just silently nods in agreement. Whatever's best for the baby must be done in his books.

After the exam, the doctor prescribed you some prenatal vitamins and an iron supplement. He also gave you some instructions to take it easy, but to also make sure to get plenty of fresh air and to take some walks to strengthen your disposition. The doctor also told Coriolanus to be mindful of pregnancy hormones; that the smallest slight or rude remark could put you into an emotional turmoil. A crying jag that could be draining.

You and Coryo thanked the doctor, agreed to follow all of his instructions, and made a follow-up appointment for a few weeks down the line before leaving and going home to the Presidential Palace.

President Snow's known to be a cold, callous, imposing, stoic man, but with you he's a very loving and devoted husband. After everything you've been thru, Coriolanus is actually quite worried about you. He's always hovering over you, wanting to ensure your comfort and safety.

Every morning you eat breakfast with him in the sunroom before he has to go to his office, in the public section of the Presidential Palace. And everyday during lunch he takes his break with you in the private living quarters of the Presidential Palace. Sometimes he arranges for lunch in the sunroom and other times it's in the rose garden that's in the greenhouse. But after every luncheon he takes you on a small walk in the rose garden to build up your and to ensure that you get plenty of fresh air.

And this goes on for months until you’re 24 weeks pregnant; nearing your third trimester. That's, sadly, when the unthinkable happens. When heartbreak hits you and your husband full force.

Your day had started out normally, as it always did. You took a warm shower and dressed for the day in a dress that flattered your round belly. Coryo had Tigris make you an entire new wardrobe to accommodate your swelling belly. Yes, your round and big now, but in a short time you'll grow even larger with the blessing you're carrying inside of you.

And then you had breakfast with your husband like you always did. Coriolanus was very gentle with you, helping you take your seat and pressing kisses to your forehead and running a soft, but protective hand over your swelling belly before serving you your breakfast and taking his seat next to you. You engage in small talk as you eat your salsa smothered eggs, something you've been craving for the last couple of months, and drink your juice while Coryo sips on his coffee, eats his hard boiled egg, and reads his newspaper while engaging in endearing conversation with you.

You speak about how you're feeling, the baby, and even start to think up baby names. At your last appointment the doctor confirmed that the baby’s a boy and encourage you and your husband to start thinking of baby names. To also start planning for a baby shower and to figure out a nursery design because everything was going smoothly. Before the president has to depart for his duties in his office on the other side of the mansion he promises to get you for lunch at noon sharp.

So, when noon closely approaches your sitting on the sofa in the living quarters of the Presidential Palace. In the parlor to be exact. And you're patiently waiting for your husband to get you.

You're reading one of your favorite books whenever you feel a sharp pain in your side. You gasp, placing your hand on your side. You take calming breaths, trying to stabilize yourself. But then you feel a lightning bolt straight in your lower belly.

You stand to your feet, with the intention to go get help, but the pain in your stomach brings you to your knees. And suddenly you feel something hot and wet trickle down your thighs. Shakily you fall on your butt, against the couch, and start to cry.

You know exactly what's happening.

You're suffering a miscarriage. And all you can do is loudly sob as your heartbreaks, as you feel more blood flow down your thighs.

Your lost in your own thoughts, your body's own trauma, that you don't even hear the door open or the footsteps of your husband rushing towards you while screaming your name at the top of his lungs. You don't notice how his eyes are panicked and full of horror.

You do, however feel him as he drops to the ground next to you; gathering you in his arms as you sob uncontrollably. You can feel his heartbreaking with yours as he places a hand over yours that's on your lower belly. His other hand’s petting your hair in a fruitless attempt to calm you both.

“I know, my love. I know, it hurts.” Coryo whispers against against your hair.

You just bury your head into his broad shoulders and clutch at his waistcoast while uncontrollable sobs wrack your body.

Coryo quickly goes into President Coriolanus Snow mode as screams for help, causing a maid to come running in. Her eyes are wide in fear, but before she can utter a word the president orders her to get him the nearby phone so that he can call the doctor. She does as he asks before scurrying off to prepare a guest room for you to experience the worst moment of your life in.

The maid knows that the doctor won't be able to help. Nobody's going to be able to help. It doesn't matter that you're the First Lady; married to President Snow: nobody can fucking help you.

No.

Not with the backasswards, asinine, laws that have strict limits on women's reproductive health in the mighty nation of Panem. If the baby's not to full term, a doctor won't touch the woman in fear of being accused of performing an abortion. A procedure that's illegal in Panem: one that will get a doctor arrested, charged, and unable to practice medicine ever again.

So, sadly, there's no help for a woman when she's suffering a miscarriage. If she's able to get to a hospital at the 8 or 8 ½ month mark then a doctor will try to save the baby. But other then that, well, a woman's on her own in Panem.

A hard, dark, nasty truth that hit both you and your husband right in the heart and the gut. Despite being President of Panem, Coriolanus couldn't make the doctor rush over and help you. No, because the doctor refused to risk his freedom and his medical license.

Coriolanus was beyond scared out of his mind, despite trying to keep a cool head for you. It wouldn't do you any good to see him breaking down. But, honestly he's about to lose his shit at any moment.

Seeing you in so much pain, both emotionally and physically, has your husband reeling. Your Coryo can't handle seeing you in agony knowing that he can't make it better for you.

You barely hear him hang up the phone and tell you that the doctor says that there's nothing he can do; that you're on your own. You're too busy crying your eyes out as you bleed, cramp, and feel the most painful you've ever felt in your entire life.

The president screams for help, only for the maid from earlier and another one to come in. They assure President Snow that a nearby guestroom is prepared for you and that they'll help you during your trying and traumatic time. Your husband thanks the maids and picks you up bridal style, only to follow the women to the guestroom.

Coryo's by your side the entire time you experience your miscarriage. The maids help you, of course, and they're a big help in your survival. But it's your husband holding your hand and smoothing back your hair while begging you not to leave him like his mother did that gives you the strength you needed to get thru the worst of the miscarriage.

With Coryo by your side you can get thru anything, can weather any storm.

And after seeing the horror of your 6 month term miscarriage, well, Coriolanus Snow quickly changed his firm anti-adoption mindset. Adopting a baby's much safer than risking his soulmate dying in the birthing bed along with his unborn child. The death of his mother was very traumatic and your miscarriage with his first born son had reopened those old, never fully healed wounds ten fold.

A month after your miscarriage you have a check up with your doctor. The specialist apologized for your loss and claims that there must've been an abnormally that wasn't caught on any testing performed. But then the specialist says that in another 3 months you and your husband can always start trying again- except this time with high dose hormone shots for you and male pre-conception vitamin supplements for him that would boost the vitality of his seed.

Before you could even think, President Coriolanus Snow shot down the doctor's idea. The cold as ice look the president gave your doctor was enough to have the doctor shaking in his shoes and praying for his life. Before ending the appointment the doctor left you and your husband with some pamphlets about grief, rainbow babies, and adoption.

Coriolanus left the first two pamphlets on the small counter in the examination room, but he took the one about adoption. He gave it to you, because as much as he wanted his own child with you he wanted you to be happy. He wanted you to become a mother.

One week before the games were due to start President Snow got a call from the Capitol run adoption center. The woman in charge said that they had received a newborn baby boy with blonde hair and blue eyes (as he has requested) from District 12- of all places. The adoption director explained how the newborn was given up by the biological parents because the father had enlisted as a peacekeeper and the mother couldn't handle the pressure of being an unwed teen mother.

Of course, Coriolanus told the director that he'd be by with you at once. To start on the paperwork for the adoption; that you'd sign it when you arrive.

And when your husband rushed to the rose garden, where you spent a lot of your time thinking and healing spiritually, he smiled. “I got a call from the adoption center, they've got a newborn baby boy for us, darling.”

“Really? We're going to have a baby?” You ask in disbelief, your eyes welling up with unshed tears of joy.

“Yes, my love.” Coryo nodded, cupping your face in his large hands and using his thumbs to brush away the happy years that began to fall from your eyes. Pressing his forehead against yours, he promised, “We're going to go pick him up and bring him home.”

Crassus Javanis Snow, named after both of your fathers, was a very cute and happy baby. He was the sweetest thing. He truly looked worthy of the Snow name with his light blonde hair and bright blue eyes. He was both the love and light of your life and Coryo's life.

But President Snow became very protective, possessive, cold, and even downright cruel towards other people when it came to you and your son. Nobody could say a word about how the Snow heir was adopted or how you were a useless wife by Old Guard Capitol standards, not unless they had a death wish.

Your husband did push for better women's reproductive health and reform. And when he signed the bill into law he had the proudest smile on his face.

Of course the bill was only for Capitolite women; it didn't hold up for women in the Districts. But he didn't care. You're a Capitolite woman and whoever your son married will be a Capitolite girl as well.

So…

But as long as Capitolite women are healthy, fertile, and happy that's all that matters to President Snow.

And when your son's getting ready for kindergarten at the Academy you get the surprise of your life when you turn up pregnant, after so many years of nothing; after you and Coryo stopped trying, with your daughter.

A baby girl that you'd name Demeter Rose, in honor of Coryo's late mother and grandmother.

But one day, when both of your children are middle-aged with children of their own, during the 74th Hunger Games, your eyes widen when you see the tribute from District 12: a broad and tall boy with blonde hair and blue eyes that looks strikingly like your son did as a teenager.

Tags: @kuroosbby001 @purriteen @poppyflower-22 @meetmeatyourworst @whipwhoops @bxtchopolis @readingthingsonhere @savagenctzen @ryswritingrecord @erikasurfer @tulips2715 @universal-s1ut @thesmutconnoisseur @squidscottjeans @sudek4l @wearemadeofstardust0 @mashiromochi @gracieroxzy @belcalis9503 @shari-berri @aoi-targaryen @whiteoakoak @spear-bearing-bi-witch @gisellesprettylies @loverandqueenofdragons @qoopeeya @mfnqueen1 @permanentlyexhaustedpigeon88 @v-love @swiftieblyth @joyfulyouthlover @harvey-malfoy @chxrrybomb22 @marvel-hiddles-stark @xjinnix @devils-blackrose @zombicupcake3 @jacesvelaryons @tempt-ress

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iloveschiaparelli · 4 months

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Finding out from my mom that I spoke full sentences at 10 months old and then adding that to all my other memories of being young just feels like a punch to the gut

When I first self dxd autism I knew that my experiences from age 10 up were consistent with autism diagnostic criteria but I only had a very vague understanding of how my early childhood was affected. Like I knew that I behaved the same way but I didn't have any specific examples and at first my mom didn't believe me either, so she wasn't much help. I honestly believed that I must not have presented autism in an obvious way, since it was missed in my childhood.

But since then I've realized/learned several things:

I was speaking in full sentences at 10 months old. Typically that isn't supposed to happen until age 3 or 4.

I spoke incessantly. All the time. To the point where my mom still jokes that they had to "train me to stop talking" (what exactly that entailed I have no idea???)

Throughout my life including early childhood people have asked me to slow down when talking or remarked on how fast I spoke

In my childhood and pretty much through out my life pre-depresion, people would remark on how good my memory was. Especially in my early childhood (4-8 years old) I would get comments like this ALL THE TIME, I just remembered literally everything?

I taught myself to read at age 4. Because I wanted to read the same storybook over and over again for a period of over a week at least, and my caregivers were sick of reading it to me and started saying no when I asked. So I said "fine, I'll just read it to myself." I was reading at a 3rd grade level at least. by the time i was 5. When I was 5 or 6, I read The Secret Garden, unabridged. I remember this because I was really into tinkerbell at the time, it had just come out. TSG was my mom's copy of the book from her childhood and I had to confess to her that I had fallen asleep while reading and the paperback cover had fallen off in my bed.

Despite making my way through the book pretty quickly, I did not understand a lick of the meaning. I just took down the sequence of events.

I often sat down and arranged stones or blocks or my dollhouse elements by category, size, or color. I would also spend times trying to make sure the chains on the swinger were perfectly aligned.

I watched Finding Nemo maybe 30 times when I was 1-3 years old. Like I would beg my parents to start it over again immediately after it finished. At the time my parents owned a wall projector instead of a TV, so big picture. I suspect now that I was seeking out a visual stim because I still find that movie delightful.

Also forgot to mention, we lived in Japan when I was 1-2.5 and I started learning Japanese?? I don't remember it but according to my parents I was already using some Japanese words by the time we returned to the US. And I had learned to use chopsticks.

Dinosaur. Arms.

Picky eating that was explicitly known to be a texture issue. Nobody thought to analyze this further.

When I was 6 or so I was exposed to plush blankets for the first time. It became my dream to own one. I bought my first one when I was 19 and now I own like 10 of them because plush is one of my favorite textures in the world. But girls I would literally sit in bed and dream about owning a plush blanket. For years. Every time I went to summer camp and someone brought one for themselves I would stare at it, forlorn. Yearning.

I would read the science homeschool books excessively. I went into 5th grade Earth Science already knowing everything that we were being taught, because I had pored over geology and physical science books since I was 5. Probably about 5 years old is when I was able to explain how volcanoes worked and the layers of the earth. Also the water cycle.

These science books also included my dad's 100 year complete collection of national geographic magazines. At 2 years old I was able to explain the star life cycle and how black holes formed. As well as what would happen if you fell into one.

Once I gained access to the internet at 14 my knowledge of the cosmos expanded explosively. I became able to thoroughly explain multiverse theory, multiple theories for the origin of the universe, a good deal of the geological history of Mars, Mars's atmospheric composition, and could fully explain how solar flares worked, how Earth's magnetic field protected us, and how Mars magnetic field had disappeared taking the atmosphere with it. I was failing biology.

Transfered schools twice and a year later had to start biology over again, this time aced it. DNA replication was simple as pie.

SUCKED at math. Always.

Sucked at socialization.

Hyperfixated on the Maze Runner movies to the point where I had the 2nd one memorized and would read the credits for fun. Got so into the BTS that 5 years later I went to film school.

LOUD music was my faborite coping mechanism. Just about destroyed my hearing because I would, on a nightly basis, play heavydirtysoul on loop through the Brookstone ear buds I had gotten for Christmas at Max volume until I felt calm enough to sleep. Would also squirm with the music which i now know to be an uninformed attempt at stimming.

Just... how did I NOT get screened for autism as a kid? I was literally a textbook case for what likely would have been diagnosed as aspergers at the time.

My parents were somewhat neglectful at that time because of a lot of reasons, but I don't really fault them for it. Sometimes I forget that they even were but then I remember things like this.

Asked my mom about it yesterday "how did you not think me speaking full sentences at 10 months was weird?!!" And her response was "we didn't know!"

They didn't know my dad was autistic.

They didn't know that hitting your milestones 2-3 years early is NOT normal and likely a sign of a disorder.

They didn't know that repetitive behavior and obsessive organizing is not normal.

If they had known...... my childhood would have been so different. I wouldn't have nearly flunked out of college. I wouldn't have grown to hate myself because of my social skills. I wouldn't have had countless episodes of feeling like I was going to explode out of my skin but shoving it down and chewing on my cheek just to get through the social situation. So much would have been different.

This is why it's so important to spread general awareness of autism symptoms and behaviors. Real and varied examples, not just solely sdtereotypes and nonverbal autistic alone. And not just autism either but pretty much any disorder.

Or at least an awareness about what child development is SUPPOSED to look like, so that parents can flag when things aren't normal.

#actually autistic #Autism #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #Science #Autism awareness #Autistic #Audhd

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dazed--xx · 1 year

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One More Time Masterlist

Post date: April 7, 2023

Member: Felix x reader

Trigger warnings: toxic relationships, ANGST, break up, death in many forms, suicide attempts, Groundhog Day effect, smut, strong language, mentions of vocal nodules, grim reaper, etc(more will be added as the story progresses)

A/N: so I absolutely love the Kdrama One More Time and this is 100% based on that. It’s also called the day after we broke up. Please watch the show it’s really great honestly it’s like really raw and angsty and just my cup of tea anyway I hope you guys anticipate this coming out soon. Also it’s not my line divider I did not make it and I reblogged the creators post with the one I used so please like their post please.

What happens when you fall out of love with the one you loved the most? Lee Felix’s star is rising, but his love for his band is fading. He’s growing more and more tired of his girlfriend, and is excitedly prepared to breakup with her when something happens that changes their fate. As Felix wakes up the next day things begin to seem oddly familiar, from the telemarketer call to the slight run-in with his landlords thugs, He quickly realizes that October 4th is happening all over again. Using the opportunity to his advantage Felix spends his repeating day, basking in the glory soon he misses the band he once found happiness with and wonders what becomes of his girlfriend he continuously broken up with during his time warp. When Felix soon discovers his girlfriend’s fate at the end of each day, his world shifts and the once happy free memory of the time warp becomes a slow personal hell for him. As the torturous day continues to repeat itself all Felix can wonder is will he ever get to see October 5th?

Episode Guide

Character list

Episode 1: Lee Felix, vocalist of the band, One More Time, prepares to confess his love to his girlfriend Y/N. Seven years later, he’s bored, broke, and annoyed by it all; luckily, he’s found a way to get everything he’s ever wanted

Episode 2: From the spam phone call to the meeting with an entertainment company representative, everything seems to be an odd repeat of yesterday for Felix.

Episode 3: After countless days of excessive spending, partying and gambling, Felix finally begins to wonder how his other band members and Y/N are doing.

Episode 4: Determined to change how the day ends, Felix tries to avoid anything that could go wrong and decides it’s a perfect time to take Y/N on an sporadic adventure

Episode 5: Seven Years Ago, Felix and his band have their first public performance when Y/N becomes their first audience member. Meanwhile, Y/N contemplates her relationship with Felix.

Episode 6: Y/N makes a deal with the grim reaper, Felix continues to try to change how the day ends to no avail, leaving him defeated and devastated

Episode 7: Y/N grows ever more tired of Felix’s stoic unloving attitude toward her and walking on eggshells until he eventually breaks up with her. Felix decides he’d rather die than watching Y/N suffer once more. The grim reaper tells Felix how he can stop the time warp.

Episode 8: Again and Again Y/Ns heart gets broken, while Felix continues to work on his surprise to make Y/N happy once more.

#lee felix angst #stray kids angst #skz angst #felix fluff #stray kids smut #lee felix smut #lee felix fluff #Felix series #felix x reader #lee felix x reader

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saturniandevil · 3 months

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July 2024 Important Dates

AKA my notes on The Astrology Podcast's July Forecast, hosted by Chris Brennan and Austin Coppock. We're going into this month right off of Saturn stationing retrograde on June 29th, and Neptune following suit on July 2nd.

June Recap: June was heavily influenced by the activity in Gemini, including a Venus cazimi and a stellium with other fast planets. The second half of the month felt heavy influence from Saturn finally getting within conjunction distance (10 degrees) of Neptune in Pisces. Right after the Venus cazimi on June 3rd, Claudia Sheinbaum was elected president of Mexico. Aside from Venus's association with women, the indigenous astrology of Mexico is also based on Venus cazimi cycles. Another Venus story is the launch of the Boeing Starliner--last month our hosts looked at the electional chart for its planned launch and noted that Mercury conjunct Uranus boded ill--and indeed an electrical problem caused them to postpone the launch until June 5th, when the Moon was in Gemini (with 4 other planets). However, with a Leo rising its chart ruler the Sun was separating from Venus and approaching a square with Saturn, and indeed there have been delays with bringing the astronauts back.

On the day of the Mars-Pluto square Hunter Biden was convicted on gun charges. A similar Mars transit showed up in politics with Donald Trump's conviction in May: Trump was convicted with Mars squaring his natal Saturn (ruler of the year for him), in the 9th and 12th houses respectively, fitting for a trial (9th house) over keeping secrets (12th house). There was also a Mercury-Uranus conjunction on his Midheaven (sudden development in public life), and on the July 11th, the day of his sentencing, the Mars-Uranus conjunction will be on his Midheaven. In Hunter Biden's case, Mars conjoined his natal Saturn, when he was convicted of illegally buying guns while under the influence. Saturn was also transiting his Midheaven, and with the North Node there natally it can indicate ill or shadowy reputation (A/N: in Pisces it also fits that he's known for his excessive drug use).

The second half of the month was dominated by a Saturn-Neptune conjunction in Pisces. A new AI video generator was released and saw an explosion of use, including animating still images. It's becoming increasingly difficult to determine what's real and what's an illusion--though in June with many planets in Gemini, we saw a lot of play with this technology.

The final news story this month is the US presidential debate, which occurred within 24 hours of Saturn stationing retrograde in Pisces--a debate between the two oldest presidential candidates in US history. Biden did horribly during the debate, and Saturn's subsequent station occurred right on Biden's Imum Coeli; during the debate the Moon was conjunct Saturn as both approached this point. At the same time, Uranus was transiting Trump's Midheaven while sextiling his natal Venus (ruler of his 10th house), and he did unexpectedly well in this debate for someone who doesn't care about telling the truth in public speaking. With Saturn generally, this debate has risen pressing questions around age and fitness for public office. Speaking of debate timings, Ronald Reagan's astrologer Joan Quigley would schedule debates for times that were good for Reagan and bad for Carter...and indeed this debate is scheduled unusually--it's much earlier than usual. The next debate is scheduled for the Pisces eclipse in September, in Biden's 4th house/Kamala's 10th house (A/N: Trump's 8th; not angular). Back in the year ahead forecast, Chris said there were three big factors in favor of Trump and one in Biden's favor: that eclipse in an angular house. However, the 4th house is also associated with endings (due to being located underground), and considering recent events, could bode ill for the aged president. (A/N: there's also speculation that Biden was experiencing a dementia symptom known as "sundowning" during the debate, and the 4th house is located deepest beneath the earth)

July Forecast:

The main energies this month will be Saturn-Neptune in Pisces as both planets station early in the month, Mars conjoining Uranus, the Capricorn Full Moon in the 21st, and Mercury-Mars tensions as they almost reach a square.

July 2nd - Neptune Retrograde, Mercury enters Leo Neptune-Saturn confusion has been present for us for a week or so already. We're having a difficult time predicting what events mean for the future. Other significations are the line between illusions and reality, idealism vs. limitations, disillusionment or disappointment when dreams collapse, confusion, fatigue or sapping of one's emotional energy, lack of mental acuity, side effects of age leaving to lack of clarity or focus. Whatever age you're at, you may feel the physical effects catching up to you as the conjunction approaches. Austin brings up that superhero movies have just about run their course (Iron Man was released in 2011 as Neptune first entered the sign), and now we're collectively tired of imagining this genre as Neptune gets within 4 minutes of the next sign. Saturn nearby adds an extra level of negation. With AI tools, boundaries are dissolved and new methods for creativity are being introduced as we gear up for Neptune/Saturn in Aries--expect to see new genres. Other Saturn-Neptune keywords include escapism, addiction, sensitivity and compassion. Chris also notes seeing tensions between science and religion or skepticism and belief: large numbers of people, including conservative influencers, are converting to Christianity at the same time as scientific skepticism rises--and astrologers may find ourselves on the negative end of both. Anyone with significant placements at 27-29 Pisces or other mutable signs should pay attention. A Neptune-Mercury trine softens communications; it's a good time for heartfelt conversations.

As soon as Mercury enters Leo it puts him in opposition distance to Pluto, foreshadowing the rest of the inner planets doing so later this month. Paranoia, power plays, and manipulation abound, though investigative journalism and hidden truths can come to light. However, Mercury moves closely into a happy sextile with Jupiter soon after.

July 2nd - Selected Elections for the month (not pictured) This month Chris has two elections, both on the 2nd, to try and take advantage of the Jupiter-Moon conjunction before Mars and Uranus start to complicate things.

The first chart is at about 1:00PM local time so that the Ascendant trines Jupiter in the 9th house, the Moon is applying to a conjunction with Jupiter, and the Ascendant ruler Venus in Cancer is in the 10th house, forming a trine with Saturn. The flowing, nurturing energy in Cancer and Pisces is highlighted in this chart (see New Moon for more). The downside is that you bake the Mercury-Pluto opposition into things, so beware of paranoia in communications.

The other variant of this chart is later in the day with Sagittarius rising:

At about 5:30PM local time, this gives you Jupiter in the whole sign 7th house in a day chart with the Moon still applying to a conjunction. This one is oriented more towards other people. These are much different than the electional charts earlier this year where he encouraged us to take advantage of the stellia; now we're entering more challenging territory.

July 5th - New Moon in Cancer

Both luminaries (14♋) apply to a trine with Saturn (19♓) soon after, while Venus (22♋) is within a loose conjunction of them in Cancer. Meanwhile, Mercury (5♌) sextiles Jupiter (9♊) in Gemini with reception (Jupiter is in Mercury's sign). Saturn's trine is constructive, helping us figure out how to work within our limitations and distribute our burdens more evenly. With Venus and Cancer there brings a connotation of caring for and nurturing something that can't survive without you like a child, pet, or house plant. And with care, duty is not far behind. Think sweet and compassionate. Mercury sextile Jupiter on the 8th will continue some of these good vibes for us.

July 11th - Venus enters Leo Venus is getting further from the Sun and begins to rise more and more visibly as the month progresses. When she's fully out from under the beams, we can finally see the results of work that was hidden while she was close to the Sun. We'll also see a return of themes from the Venus retrograde in Leo last year, but it's different for two reasons: 1) Venus is traveling direct and very fast through the sign, and 2) Pluto in Aquarius opposes her immediately upon ingress on the 11th-12th. Venus in Leo's fun-in-the-sun vibe is marred by shadow for the first few days. Significations include interpersonal paranoia, power plays in relationships and (my addition:) issues of control regarding women. In happier news she (12♌) will sextile Jupiter (12♊) on the 21st right in time for the next lunation, at the same degree where she stationed last year. Jupiter will assuage harsh Pluto aspects for planets transiting Leo this month.

July 15th - Mars conjunct Uranus This occurs on the 14th-15th at 26 Taurus, tightly conjunct the fixed star Algol. Mars-Uranus is already quite volatile, with Mars going fast and Uranus shocking or igniting it. Think accidents (warehouse explosions, for example), interpersonally "exploding," and in wolrd affairs violence such as wars. The US dropped atomic bombs on Japan under Mars-Uranus, and has the signature in its natal chart. This already volatile configuration is conjunct malefic star Algol, known as the head of Medusa, in Chinese astrology as the entrance to the Mansion of Corpses, and in Arabic as Ra's al-Ghul ("head of the monster"), from which we get the word "ghoul." Historically Algol coincides with terrible events, for example the bombing of Guérnica. Austin predicts that most personal lives will be unaffected, but that something atrocious will happen in one of the active conflicts going on right now (though hopes he's wrong about it). Algol also figures strongly into the British royal family, the chart of the European Union, and the modern state of Israel. The Republican National Convention will also begin under this inauspicious alignment. July 16th sees the Moon lighting up all this activity, so it's an inadvisable time to start new ventures.

More generally, Mars-Uranus brings sudden upheavals, rebelliousness, challenging the status quo, impulsiveness, unpredictable behavior & acting on whims, and a strong drive for freedom and independence--for example, the January 6 capital debacle happened right as Mars entered Taurus and began approaching conjunction to Uranus. On the positive side, this can indicate starting new adventures and innovative ideas. Mars and Uranus are both antisocial, so it's advisable to strike out on your own, even just for a few days, instead of trying to get everyone else on board or fighting over different directions. Fierce individualism abounds, though Mars-Uranus can also be quirky and spontaneous--Robin Williams had this aspect in Cancer. Thankfully, Mars leaves Taurus about a week later, leaving Algol's intensity behind.

July 20th - Mars enters Gemini In a new sign, Mars is headed for a conjunction with Jupiter in mid-August, though he'll square Saturn almost immediately after. Funnily enough, that's when the Democratic National Convention takes place--which we already know is going to be a mess. Austin points out the Jupiter-Mars conjunction will be at 16 Gemini, the same degree that Venus conjoined the Sun in June, connecting those events. Mars-Jupiter can be heroic and overcoming...but that requires something to heroically overcome. The lunation really kicks things off:

July 21st - Full Moon in Capricorn

A lot of different aspects are happening at once here. The Moon and Sun oppose each other at 29 degrees of Capricorn and Cancer respectively, with the Moon immediately moving towards a sextile with Neptune (29♓), and then conjoining Pluto (0♒) upon her egress from Capricorn. We'll see an immediate shift in tone with news stories foreshadowing the next month of Mars in Gemini. Mars is, by degree, in exact contra-antiscia to the Moon here. Meanwhile, Venus (12♌) sextiles Jupiter (12♊), so positive things are happening at the same time as this tense lunation. However, Merucry (26♌) squares Uranus (26♉), bringing tensions in communication. This will be one of the more memorable days of the month--ongoing negative developments will rear their heads, some nice things will happen, some unexpected things will happen, and the next day the Sun enters Leo, opposing Pluto in Aquarius.

July 22nd - Sun enters Leo Leo season starts off with the Sun opposing Pluto. For the next 20 years, every time the Sun enters Leo, it will oppose Pluto. The Pluto in Leo generation (mid-40s to 1959; Baby Boomers) will feel Pluto's opposition especially strongly, and the dozens of countries created right after WW2 have Saturn conjunct Pluto in Leo in their charts. We'll see what survives this 20 years and what fades away into history as Pluto opposes all that was built when it was 180 degrees away. Chris brings up that generationally Pluto in Leos may be resisting handing off the reins or trying to seize power back when they're past their prime. Austin brings up the accelaration of celebrity culture as a great distraction from those who are actually powerful during Pluto in Leo....maybe we'll get sick of it over the following decades. In other fixed signs, transiting Pluto now squares natal Pluto for Millennials (Pluto in Sagittarius), who are now having to wrestle with beginning to really age in their 40s.

July 25th - Mercury enters Virgo Communications become more direct and quick with Mars in Mercury's sign, but Mercury is going to retrograde close to a square with Mars at the end of the month, so we may expect some miscommunications, misunderstandings, and sharp words. Swift, smart, clever, and cool. Things may get argumentative and contentious.

By the end of the month, retrograde Saturn (18♓Rx) is moving into square distance from Jupiter (14♊), who will in turn square Neptune later--a signature that brought inflation recently. Saturn is trying to rein in Jupiter, who expands Neptune's dissolution of boundaries. Mars in Gemini further aggravates things. July leaves us on a bit of a cliffhanger.

#astrology #forecast #transits #july 2024 #mundane astrology #saturn conjunct neptune #neptune retrograde #saturn retrograde #mars conjunct uranus #capricorn full moon #mercury square mars #mars in gemini #venus in leo #pluto in aquarius

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starrvlight · 4 months

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small vent:>

sorry!! I know this is weird ignore this if you don't wanna hear my rant

Tw; sh, puking, starving and relapse (sorry😋☝🏼)

dude i don't know what to do more I want from having a great life to cvtting myself in 5TH GRADE and its only got worse from there , in 6th I wore more makeup and noticed every little flaw I had.

I would FORCE myself the puke because I "needed to be skinny" cut I think no one going to love me for having body fat or having a bit of a tummy, eating made me feel so sick and I still does, I relapse multiple times and ive relapsed recently, im going to see me family in 2 DAYS. i starved myself and picked after any meal I had, for the last 2-3 weeks and not I'm eating everything I don't know why I feel this way about myself I feel filthy, disgusting, atrocious, SICK after eating but I don't wanna throw up I wanna get better I really do.

im going to see my family in 2 day and Im scared , 2 of my cousins at aware for my sh scars but aren't away about the new one and I'm scared on how my family will react if they see them cut i know my parents will sent to the the mental hospital. But that at the same time I'm scared on how they'll look at me, or me having a belly I know it's normal to have a little belly, it's near impossible for women to have a completely flat stomach cuz we have like the uterus the pops out, but I can't help but look at myself in disgust when I look in the mirror, like to the point I'm (/SRS) planning on getting surgery or some shit when I'm older to look "prettier" like smalle nore, have excess body fat removed from my body because I believe no oke goong to love me if I'm not up the their standers or if I'm skinny. I've been doing my make up more / putting more on, conseler,mascara, eyeliner highlighter eyeshadow blush toner color correcter, I literally just wanna feel happy being in my own body without feeling like I'm being judged constantly.

ID DO ANYTHING TO BE SKINNY OR HAVE AN HOURGLASS BODY OF TO JUDT HE UP TO THE MIDDLE SCHOOL STANDERS I WANT PPL TO LOOK AT ME AND BE Like "They're so pretty" :'( like i can't help but compare myself to the girls or even boys who are smaller , prettier, handsomer (ik thats boy a word💀) idk but I feel so bad about myself seeing someone who is so rude, but is still SO pretty:( like what? If I'm rude am I pretty or sum??

Ok rant over:> sorry this was so out of the blue

#vent post #shitpost #sorry #😋#school bus graveyard

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justanotherblogger · 4 months

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A World Without Him

Chapter 11

(TW some strong language and minor blood)

Tang could feel himself wake from unconsciousness. His body became solid as he was pulled from the void that made up his dreams.

His eyes and limbs felt heavy, as if he was buried beneath the ground. Still, he could barely feel a cold breeze flow over his forehead as he listened to the sounds around him.

The rustling of curtains, birds chirping outside, distant voices of people on the street, and his own breathing flow into his ears. The sounds distant, yet too loud as they rushed into his head.

Then he tried to focus on his surroundings instead of losing himself in the white noise, as that wouldn't help him move any time soon.

Now Tang felt the smooth and cold surface he was laying on. The grooves of age in what seemed to be hardwood flooring gave him an idea of where he'd been placed after he collapsed outside...

How did I even get back inside, in my bedroom, no less? My apartment's on the 5th floor...

The hard floor dug into his side as he felt his clothes and hair had layers of grime on them. It gave an uncomfortable weight to his clothes. Then he remembered this was what he had on while at the library.

Don't think about that.

The point being, he was covered from head to toe in dust and other debris. He must have looked crazy yesterday when he ran panicked through the streets.

I shouldn't have left.

With a sigh and with his eyes still heavy, he planned to start pushing himself off the floor to stop the stabbing pain in his side.

However, he could barely sit up straight before he felt two hands grab harshly onto his shoulders. His eyes flung open as he was pushed up into a standing position by the hands, stumbling forwards from the excess force like a rag doll.

He snapped his head around to look behind him, but he couldn't see anything because of his damaged vision. A blurry silhouette was all he could barely see before it seemed to dissipate back into thin air.

Tang froze in place, waiting for the thing to make another move. Yet, he didn't hear or feel anything else for the minutes he stood completely still.

A small chuckle broke out from his short, silent breaths. He then broke into manic laughter as tears ran down his face and onto the hardwood floor. He could barely breathe as the laughter kept getting louder and louder as he doubled over.

'...Geeze, has he already gone insane?'

'From our efforts in stopping the big guy, I don't really blame him.'

Tang's laughter abruptly stops, his vocal cords stinging from continuous use. He shoots up, grasps his glasses, and looks around his room frantically for the source of the voices. He finds nothing other than a breeze from the open window.

The laughter returns, now louder than before. "I'm going insane!" He runs a hand through his hair, ruffling strands into his face. "I just wanted everything to go back to normal! I JUST WANTED TO BE FREE OF THESE FUCKING VOICES! I never wanted any of this!"

Smoke started to rise from where Tang stood on the hardwood floor as tears started to run down his face once again. "But no! I have to almost die! I have to see someone I care about LOSE A FUCKING LEG! I have to be tortured every night through my nightmares and have them FOLLOW ME THROUGHOUT THE DAMN DAY!"

Everything was suddenly too quiet for Tang as his labored breathing echoed through the bedroom. Tear streaks ran rapidly down his cheeks and onto the steaming floor.

He stared as the drops fell and dispersed among the ground. He could hear more whispers enter his mind, but he couldn't care less at the moment.

A small chuckle was the only warning before he bolted out of the bedroom, through the complete mess of a living room, and into the bathroom.

He wanted to be free of the filth covering his body. The dust and debris that killed maimed Allan when those monsters attacked the library...

Monsters?

Don't go farther down that road.

Tang only sighed at his thoughts before stripping and seeing the scorched handprints on the back of his overcoat. He grimaced before dropping it onto the ground, putting his glasses onto the edge of the sink and throwing himself into the shower. The scalding hot water turned his skin red as the stinging replaced the grime that used to cover his body.

Still, he scrubbed and scrubbed at his skin and hair until he was sure there was no more filth stuck to his body. Afterward, he let the water flow over him as he stood unmoving. Closing his eyes, he relished over the burning feeling.

He only opened them again when the water started to turn cold: the heat no longer being supported from his overuse. He slowly turned the knob to stop the water before stepping out and grabbing a towel off of the door handle.

After ruffling his hair with the towel and wrapping it around his waist, he sat down onto the toilet seat to take a breather. The cold air from the door left ajar helped him to cool down and think.

Am I really going insane? He thought. This has happened too many times to write off by now. Why is this even happening to me?

Why can't everything just end?

He choked up quiet sobs, putting his head into his arms. The lights above him flickered, and yet he just couldn't care anymore. He looked up blankly at the light bulb before rubbing his eyes and standing up to walk to the mirror.

He took his glasses off of the sinks edge and leveled them onto his face. He noticed the left side was cracked as he looked into the fogged up mirror, seeing the left side in pieces.

Tang grumbled as he wiped the mirror to uncover his eyes so he could see the damage done.

The lights flickered. He gasped as he saw his eyes suddenly turn blinding orange with blood splatter caked over his face in the mirror-

*CRACK*

Pieces of the mirror fell to the floor. His knuckles barely stung from the force he put into the punch. The mirror was now cracked and scattered onto the tiled bathroom floor.

With his heartbeat steady, Tang slowly pulled his fist from the reflective remnants. A hole through and mirror and into the back wall was now shown, some blood speckled in from his cut hand.

Holding his curled up hand, he saw the small shards now embedded into his knuckles: small trails of blood running down his arm.

He stared blankly at the cuts before rummaging into his cabinets and taking out a nail kit. It took some effort, but he was able to wrangle out tweezers from the case eventually.

He washed the hand with warm, soapy water before taking the tweezers and slowly pulling out each shard. His face was blank the entire time as he took each chunk out of his skin, even when washing his hand again and wrapping it up in bandages.

The whole debacle was over in a few minutes, even though it felt like hours to him. He looked back at the mirror. I guess I have to put another thing onto the to-do list.

Brushing the shards off the ground and clothes he left on the bathroom tile, he threw them into the bin and walked back into the living room.

In the messy state that it was, he could see many random pieces of clothing all over the floor and broken furniture. He could see leather jackets, old headbands, and even a Pigsy's shirt from when he used to work there.

Yet the thing that caught his eye was his matching jacket and pants he used to wear for special occasions. The soft navy fabric of the jacket and gray fabric of the pants Tang remembered helping calm him in those high tension situations.

The overcoat was long and had silver floral designs at the bottom near the calves and on the cuffs of the sleeves. The pants were similar, having those same floral designs at the pant cuffs. They were both hung over what was left of the coffee table.

He barely had to think before putting them on with underwear, a tan turtle neck, black flats, and the maroon scarf he snagged from his old clothes pile. It had the least debris on it.

Now feeling snug against multiple layers, which made him feel less cold and empty, he could finally do, erm...

Why did he dress up anyway?

He really didn't know why he put in this much effort, but now he supposes he might as well go out and do something other than being cooped up in his apartment.

Walking into his bedroom, he noticed the window was still open from the night before. The breeze barely bothered him as he shut the window yet again.

Now, hopping onto his bed, Tang reaches for his cracked phone to see if anyone messaged him for something. The only things in his notifications were a text from Pigsy and some ads about manga sales and new releases.

He then suddenly remembered how he had promised to see Pigsy. Yesterday morning, where he basically had a mental breakdown the entire day...

I am going to get so much crap for this.

He sat up and out of bed before turning off his phone. Maybe if he got there quick enough today, Pigsy would be a bit more forgiving? Who is he kidding, but maybe it was better to get it over with and a good distraction from what happened yesterday.

With that plan set in his mind, Tang took quick strides out of his apartment after locking it, of course, and started to walk the regular path to Pigsy's noodles.

The day was cloudy, yet no rain was supposed to come down today. With the sun blocked out, everything seemed a bit less vibrant than usual, which he was glad for as it would be a bit overwhelming otherwise with all the neon to go with the sun's rays.

The walk was quiet up to Pigsy's, putting him on edge as he looked back, on top of roofs and into alleys to see if anyone was following more times than he could count. Yet when he got to the shop door, there was something wrong with it: it was closed. Pigsy's was closed, on a weekday, during rush hour.

Oh no, did something happen to him?!

Tang quickly took out his phone to text Pigsy and realized he still had a message from him he hadn't read yet. Sitting on one of the outside benches, he opened the text from Pigsy

Pigsy 🍜🩷

10:46 AM

Pigsy: Hey

Pigsy: Just letting you know Mk dragged us onto a trip to Flower Fruit Mountain to help wrangle some Monkeys for Monkey King or something, might be gone for a few days.

Pigsy: I couldn't tell you earlier because Mk just grabbed me and Sandy out of the shop and I could barely close it in time.

Pigsy: I tried to tell them what we had planned but Mk and Mei were too energetic to reason with

10:47 AM

Pigsy: I'm sorry for ditching you yesterday, but we're still having that talk when I get back. No excuses.

Tang just stared at the message, trying to reason with what it said.

Mk took Pigsy and Sandy without me? I know they haven't talked to me much lately, but they still would've dragged me along to whatever stunt they were going to pull. Even if not, they would have told me before doing anything! There wasn't even a text...

That left a gross feeling in Tang's chest.

And what if I had shown up yesterday? I wouldn't have even known if they were okay until this mornings text! Did they not even think about how worried I would've been? Did they even consider how I could have felt at all?

He only shook his head at the thoughts, trying to drive away the bad feelings that came with them. He knows he and Mk haven't talked much lately; the same goes for Sandy and Mei, but he still knows what's going on with them! He still talks and tells them what's happening through the group chat to show he's still there!

Yet why does it feel as though I've been forgotten about? Why do I feel a sense of doubt now? He thinks as he leans back onto the bench.

He thinks back to the library, an unwanted thought crossing his mind. Mk didn't even try to keep the damages to a minimum as he redirected the strikes to the roof instead of blocking them with his staff.

And he looked so carefree and happy after the incident! Did Mk even know Tang was there? Did he even think about the possible damages he had caused? And he just leaves afterward, posing with tea and smiling!

Do they ignore or filter everything he says?

...Does Mk even care about him anymore?

...

I should stop.

All this self-loathing is getting him nowhere. It's not as if he was hurt during the battle. He doesn't have a right to be angry about a lack of care when someone got it worse than him.

Now, his thoughts were back to Allan. He didn't deserve anything that happened to him that day. He had gotten it so much worse than him, so why is Tang complaining?

Suddenly, an idea crossed his mind. He could check all the hospitals near the library to see if Allan was registered anywhere! It's not a full proof plan, but it was something worthwhile he could do while he was already out of a slump.

So he started to walk to the library, or what was left of it, to see if he could start there. When he arrived, he could barely believe what he could see. The entire roof is gone, save the few glass panels still stuck on the back, the walls were seemingly about to crumble at a slight breeze, and different holes ranging from sizes were stuck throughout the building, making it dangerous if most of it weren't already crumbled onto the ground.

Yellow tape covering the premises swayed back and forth as Tang walked onto the parking lot sidewalk, not daring to get closer lest something were to fall again.

He already had a bad feeling when he arrived, and it almost got doubly worse when he stopped at the sidewalk. Nevertheless, he had wanted to see what the remains looked like, and now he knew. Taking a deep breath and looking away from the building, he checked his phone for the nearest hospitals.

Among the list was one that looked eerily familiar. MSH was listed near the top, and it seemed like a fever dream to be seeing it here.

Now, along with this feeling of familiarity, he felt compelled to follow this lead. Maybe to help the new bad feeling in his stomach from those letters, but he'll try anyways.

The walk isn't that far; it's about the same length it takes to get to the docks from his apartment. When he arrives in front of the hospital, he suddenly gets a sense of deja vu, like he's been here before.

Ignoring the feeling, he steps through the doors and heads up to the receptionist at the desk. "Hey there." Tang greeted a bit awkwardly. The receptionist just smiled. "Hello there, how can I help you today?"

Tang seemed to lose vigor as he continued to speak. "Erm, I was wondering if you had any teenage admitants named Allan? I-I was just wondering since I was his colleague at the library when it got attacked, and I know it's probably personal information but-"

The receptionist held her hand up halfway through his ramble. "I understand your concern, and if he is permitted here and allows friends to visit, you're welcome to see him. I'll just have to see if he's registered in our care, so please give me a moment."

Tang sheepishly sat down at one of the lobby seats as the receptionist went back to typing on her computer. After about 10 minutes, she called him back up to the desk. "We do have an Allan Bentley in room 1225. He's in for an injured leg, is allowing visitors, and he came from the library attack. Is he who you're looking for?"

He knew it was Allan from the leg injury; he saw him get wheeled away himself. He quickly affirmed the receptionist and thanked her before moving towards the elevator.

Following the signs on the walls with little difficulty, he was able to find room 1225. Yet, Tang hesitated in front of the door. Did Allan even want to see him? Did Allan blame him for what happened? He wouldn't put it past the kid if he did.

But he wanted to see if he was alright. Wanted to see Allan breathing and alive, even if that was a bit selfish of him since he's the one who slowed him down in the first place.

So before he can back out of it, he opens the door. The room is steril and white, with the acception of some window stickers from previous patients, most likely.

He walked slowly up the bed and gasped at what he saw. Allan seemed more thin and pale than he remembered. His brows were creased even in his sleep as he breathed slowly in a rhythm.

Tang thought Allan would be awake since visiting hours were still open, but he must be lucky to catch him right after he fell asleep.

Looking at the bedside table, he could see comics of some kind, with the first addition of Monkey Cop at the top. It seemed like Allan was able to keep it, even through the whole debacle.

This lifted a weight off of Tang's shoulders. Seeing how Allan kept the comic must mean he doesn't completely hate him now and is coherent enough to read already, as it seems to have more wear than when he first gave the comic to him.

He gives a small smile as he slowly puts his hand on Allan's head, comforting the kid to uncrease his brows just a bit and feel his chest rise and fall.

He left quickly after that. He couldn't stay in that room much longer when he knew how much pain Allan was in right now. He could see the void where his left leg used to be under the blanket.

The feeling of regret only got worse as the sky started to dim on his way back. Why did Allan have to suffer like that? Why couldn't I save him? Why wasn't he able to make it out okay like everyone else?

It was the fight.

Tang was now in front of his apartment door. He had stopped in front of it as the voice spoke from behind.

That child took to fight too recklessly. He directed the strikes to the ceiling, causing it to fall onto you and Allan.

No, no, it wasn't Mk's fault. There was a lot going on, and everything was just chaos-

Yet the child seemed to deny those stakes. You saw how he moved on so quickly, how he smiled and joked about it afterward, taking nothing about it seriously.

Tang looked to the ground, a gross feeling climbing up his throat.

But he did care! He even reached out to me after he found out I was there!

And that is the problem. He only cared about the companion he could have lost, not for the other lives he'd endangered. Heck, he only started to care when someone else showed him you were there.

The voice spoke with certainty, venom apparent in its tone.

Do you think he would have worried were it not for that reminder? Do you really think he would have looked twice if you were someone unrelated to him?

But Mk is a good kid! He didn't look only because he thought everyone had made it into the shelter.

He started to shake with rage as the voice kept going with its remarks.

Yet he knew you were there, and he didn't even stay to check if you were alright? Did he even know you were there? Did he not give you the simplest time of day that he completely forgot about your existence.

Stop.

Do you really think you matter to him anymore? It's not like he even bothered to tell you about the trip yesterday, where he left you completely alone with no contact. Do you think someone like that is worthy of having those powers?

Stop it.

Someone like that shouldn't be worthy of anything, nonetheless powers to destroy whole cities. You know what happened, and you couldn't save Allan that way. That boy doesn't deserve the abilities he has, and takes them for granted.

Why are you doing this?

Tears roll down Tang's face yet again.

Why should he get these powers? Why should he be the chosen one when you are much more deserving? Why does he get to take power for granted when you struggle every day to keep people safe and survive? Why does he get to feel happy and live without worry while you have to lie down and suffer from how many people you have had to watch die?

"JUST GO AWAY!" Tang's voice cracks as he yells into the open air. Silence is the only thing that greets him as he numbly stares at the door in front of him, still unopened.

His face is now blank. The tear streaks on his face have dried to the point they're stuck on his face. He slowly brings his key to the door and numbly walks inside, seeing the mess of his living room and bathroom of the doorway.

He only ignores the mess, stopping briefly where The Origins of JTTW had been left open before grabbing it and beelining to the bedroom, shutting the door behind him and walking towards the window. He lifts the window up and lets the breeze blow through the room, ruffling the sheets and blanket on the bed.

The cool breeze doesn't bother Tang, though, as he only turns towards the bed and bats the loose strands out of his face from the down hair he didn't bother to put up.

He doesn't lay down on the bed. He instead kicks off his shoes to the side, takes off his cracked glasses, and puts them on the side table with his matching phone.

Then he stares out the open window, looking towards the blurry figures of stars and planets as he lifts up the barely decipherable book showing Golden Cicada.

I can't keep going like this. I need to leave. Maybe that's what these horrible dreams have been trying to tell me. I just want to get away from it all.

He roughly shuts the book and throws it into the wall. Whatever he's dealing with, he's not gonna put up with it anymore starting tomorrow. He's going to leave, and he's going to get better.

That's what he thinks as he falls back into his bed and looks back to the blurry lights once again before blacking out, hopefully for the last time.

Previous | Next | Start

#lmk tang #lmk au #a world without him #lmk #lego monkie kid #tang monkie kid #tang #wooooo its DONE #I had so much fun writing this #i might've needed more build up for the end #but whatevs #Tang is just DONE with evrything #understanably so #I'll continue updates next week or the week after to start my regular scheduale again #thank you for reading!!!!

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hanakihan · 4 months

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Vienna/Salieri related Singularity below because I needed to share my brainrot full of nerd arcane knowledge from my music classes in 5th grade so expect nerd arcane knowledge with added references, delusions, bad life choices and inaccuracies (also since its a delulu setting watch me screw entirety of FGO canon) ANYWAY FUCK IT WE BALL THAT’S MY SINGULARITY

Vienna: Revolution and The Little Tragedy of a Kapellmeister

- Events take place in 1825, in Vienna at time of ruling of Francis I when Holy Roman Empire fell and Austrian Empire was established. More specifically it takes place after May of 1825, and significant story divergence takes place after Francis I have died 10 years earlier than he was supposed to in 1935. This event is supposedly connected to a group of people that desire the return of HRE to its former glory and reestablishment of an absolute monarchy.

- Upon arrival in singularity, it’s pretty clear that entire thing was successful and countries that were established after HRE’s fall exist no more. Results of HRE’s fall and French Revolution were also annulated. this in itself threatens human foundation because as a result it shows futility of revolution and results in social and law stagnation.

- When collecting an information about current situation and facing an aggressive response from imperial army, Guda and Mash were aided by Camille Desmoulins (Archer, because as witness accounts state ‘… Desmoulins [was] among them arming himself with a bayonet rifle and two pistols, and embarked upon the Storming of the Bastille’) and Maximilien Robespierre (Berserker, because Robespierre faced growing disillusionment among others due in part to the politically motivated violence advocated by the Montagnards), who are also hunted by imperial forces due to being two among many famous figures who instigated French Revolution that ultimately led to fall of monarchy not only in France but later in Europe as a whole. These two are reluctant to work together and constantly exchange acidic comments, mostly Desmoulins, because he’s angry at his ex-friend for betraying their goal of freeing the country of an absolute monarchy and Robespierre being a supporter of Terror policy and resulting in their ultimate executions. These two agree to set aside their bitterness and work together with Guda to set human history back on track, because they were the ones to start French Revolution, even if it didn’t turn exactly the way they wanted it, it was still a big moment in humanity’s history.

- Further information gathering put things to more clarity: current ruler of New HRE is Joseph II who by this time is supposed to be dead. Main crew does get a chance to encounter him but ultimately is unable to defeat him as he’s now - he’s clearly in possession of a Holy Grail but appears to be in clear enough mind to be negotiated with. Furthermore, Joseph II is clearly aware that his existence contradicts proper flow of human history, he acknowledges that his actions ultimately will bring destruction to foundation of humanity, and he’s genuinely sad he has to do it, but he also wants to do it because everyone he held dear were destroyed by humans with excessive cruelty. At that moment Avenger Marie Antoinette appears and upon seeing Robespierre and Desmoulins initiates battle out of anger towards people who started her downfall which resulted in beheading. Clearly being overpowered, Guda and company retreat. After that Joseph and Marie decide to pay a visit to Salieri.

- While being pursued by imperial soldiers, they are aided by Marianna Auenbrugger (Caster) and Joseph Haydn (Caster) who escort them to a hideout where other various musicians and composers are hiding. It’s pretty much a company of Casters and a Berserker (Beethoven) who are puzzled at such turn of events - if Joseph II has issues with Revolution and downfall of monarchy as a whole, then why all of them - musicians and composers - were summoned as well, at the same time. Furthermore, they all are also being actively hunted by imperial soldiers.

- Back in Palace Marie is happily chatting with barely conscious Salieri. After she leaves, small shadow materializes and approaches Salieri promising him a soon arriving salvation. At the same time, Joseph has a conversation with Napoleon, but it’s not going that great. Joseph understands Napoleon’s desire to become an Emperor once again but he’s also not allowing him to take rule over country again, not after such spectacular failure. Multiple monarchs do not mix well. Aside from desire to reclaim his position, Napoleon also wants a rematch for that shameful result of Battle of Borodino.

- In middle of discussion among Guda and others arrives Pyotr Bagration (Rider, since in Battle of Borodino he was injured while riding a horse) and informs others that apparently they need to move or else they’ll be found and none of them are in proper state to fight back. In middle of moving they meet Andrei Bolkonsky (Saber) who gladly agrees to join and discusses with Bagration their real and fictional experiences at Battle of Borodino. Bolkonsky also mentions that he saw Pushkin wandering streets of Vienna until he was chased down by soldiers. Bolkonsky himself was ignored by soldiers despite being a man who participated in war, yet a writer and poet is chased aggressively.

- Just as they move, they stumble upon Pushkin being cornered. After helping him out, Pushkin (Archer, he himself is puzzled at being summoned not as Caster but as Archer due to his last duel) provides information that hunt after him was a specific priority order from Joseph II. Eventually it was deducted that the reason for specific hunt after Pushkin and other musicians is because of Salieri, whose role in this Singularity is unknown. More accurately to say it’s because of Pushkin’s ‘The Little Tragedies’ cycle, specifically ’Mozart and Salieri’ that was one of the reasons for Salieri’s false fame as a jealous murderer. At the same time palace if full of masterful piano play. In his chambers Salieri patiently listens to a child playing a piano. Salieri, still tired and barely conscious, praises said child before falling asleep. Child goes out and stumbles upon Joseph. ‘Keep going and you’ll forever erase my existence from his. That’s what we both want, aren’t we?’

- After circle of soldiers becoming smaller and smaller it was agreed to launch an assault on Joseph’s residence and claim grail from him, especially now that they know the reason for his actions. At entrance they’re greeted by Napoleon who refuses to let them pass. Bagration isn’t happy to see familiar face, just as Bolkonsky. Fight ensues and in middle of it appears Dantès to aid a little because apparently he’s not a fan of Napoleon and remembering whole thing that was the reason for him imprisonment he can’t deny himself the chance for a little revenge. In the end, Bagration, Bolkonsky, Dantès stay to deal with Napoleon. Before separation Pushkin jokes about meeting Dantès but not the one who shot him (d'Anthès) /a play of phonetics because in Russian both d'Anthès and Dantès sound the same/

- Further in Palace they encounter Marie Antoinette. She does mention how it’s ironic how she and them (Desmoulins and Robespierre) were beheaded for sake and as a result of Revolution. She asks them if ending like they did was worth it. They in return ask if beautiful and compassionate queen that held her head high at her own execution and loved her people would bitterly destroy bright future of her people and country over bitterness and anger. Marie desires to behead them herself just to see how it feels to be on other side of guillotine.

- Guda and Mash with others encounter Joseph and ask him why exactly he’s doing that. Joseph doesn’t really answer, but does mention that it’s not only about anger and frustration, it’s also about love and compassion. He does mention that humanity is plagued with idiocy and lack of thinking, and thus it has no right to exist. Joseph also mentions that he doesn’t care about restoring monarchy, it was about his closest people he cared the most about, but seeing Napoleon being summoned it did paint a clear picture of natural power struggle. As of seeing Pushkin, he becomes clearly obsessed with targeting him. ‘After all you’re one of the reasons he ended up like that. Unforgivable, absolutely unforgivable. It’s a shame Mozart wasn’t summoned, I would’ve liked to put my sword through his neck.’

- After Joseph’s defeat appears a little boy and takes Holy Grail. Disappearing Joseph calls him ‘Salieri’ before bitterly correcting himself and calling little boy ‘A cursed abomination’. Supposedly ‘Salieri’ stabs him with Blade of Wildlife saying that Joseph himself did an awfully bad job at granting Salieri’s wish and by analogy getting rid of ‘him’. After that ‘Salieri’ addresses Pushkin as ‘one of his creators’ and uses Grail to fully transform and don Wailing Facade. After near defeat he, barely holding himself together, runs away. Guda and others chase him only to find a little ‘Salieri’ with damaged spirit origin protectively covering a man on bed whom Beethoven recognizes as Antonio Salieri. Both boy and man are Servants and have awfully unstable yet almost identical Spirit Origin.

- Actual Antonio Salieri comforts little ‘him’ and thanks him for granting his actual wish of seeing people he loved once again. ‘Salieri’ retorts that his true wish was desire to get rid of ‘Salieri who murdered Mozart’ and humanity as whole, that was the thought of dying Salieri. Salieri explains that it was a momentary hate and bitterness that colored his last moments in life he ultimately never regretted. Just as he embraces ‘Salieri’, he says, that despite everything he does not regret ‘Salieri’ or ‘Gray Man’ existence, because despite their weird and unstable situation he’s the one keeping Salieri’s Spirit Origin somewhat whole and allowing Salieri to manifest at all, since myth is much more famous than actual person.

- After Salieri’s death, his bitterness and rumors along with fake accusation merged into ‘Salieri’ who shared feelings and memories of real Salieri. Gaining his own sentience as ‘Salieri who murdered Mozart’, this ‘Salieri’ was angry at humanity for doing this to a simple man who was too nice to be treated like that at end of his life and decided to carry out his last wish with Grail that was given to him. To maintain proper existence he used grail to summon Salieri. Then Joseph, but Joseph despises ‘Salieri’ for being a product that ruined actual Salieri he cares about. ‘Salieri’ proposes a deal: Joseph can’t kill ‘Salieri’ for it will send both him and Salieri back to Throne or even worse completely damages their Spirit Origin so they’ll never be summoned again. Instead, Joseph can take this as a chance to destroy the world that executed his precious little sister and completely twisted his beloved kapellmeister. By doing that Joseph will erase future where Salieri is known as ‘Salieri who murdered Mozart’, which means Salieri won’t have to suffer anymore.

- In the end Salieri apologizes for all the trouble. Salieri says that he doesn’t regret ‘Salieri’ being a part of him and asks ‘Salieri’ to give Grail to Guda. After it’s done, Singularity starts to fix itself, Salieri disappears first as a summon of Grail and ‘Salieri’ follows. Salieri wishes that next time they’ll meet it will be a willing peaceful summon for them both as whole, much stable existence.

- After that in Chaldea before Salieri is summoned, Joseph is summoned first because he needs to keep an eye on both his sister and beloved kapellmeister. After that Salieri is summoned as a Double class - Antonio Salieri (Ruler) and ‘Antonio Salieri’ (Avenger) /aka local tired man keeps check and adopts a shy but feral child who occasionally wants to stab Mozart, Pushkin and Joseph II with different states of success/.

#fate grand order #fgo #antonio salieri #behold my ultimate fgo delulu #I broke so much canon lore #do I care? no #ANYWAY I know it became a mess but I needed to share it #I hope basic idea is understood #so much I want to explain BUT my brain with fever of 38.8 cant English rn #5★ Ruler Salieri as a Double Class with 3★ Avenger Salieri (Lily) fight me #Salieri actually approaches Dantes and other Avengers to ask for tips and help because Salieri Lily is shy and awkward #both Salieris still have an unstable spirit origin but it’s better than what was during singularity #they get better eventually #Joseph II fighting with others for a title of Salieri’s biggest fan #he’s probably overwhelmingly caring #Salieri Lily constantly kicks him when he approaches too close

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sabineelectricheart · 2 years

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Hogwarts Legacy

Series

Cape Agulhas

Rosalie Gaunt is faced with another terrible setback in her search for her birth family. Her husband is there to console her. There are things, dark things, that she does not know about, though.

He Has Done So Much

Garreth Weasley, the most desirable bachelor in the village, shelters the widow Mrs. Prewett from torrential rains outside. He can hardly resist, after all, he has done so much.

One-Shots

The Coldest, Stormiest Day at the Scottish Highlands

Sebastian knows he has nothing to gain by keeping Rosalie with him against her will, but he does it anyways.

To Adore a Controlling Lover

Ominis feels the need to control and order his sexual activities. His wife just wants him to feel adored.

Private Time at Feldcroft

Sebastian and his girlfriend get some time alone in an alcove at Feldcroft. They put it to good use.

Gaunt Reproduction Habits

A well-placed insinuation of Anne’s awaken something on Ominis. His wife deals with it like a trooper.

Digging Through a Boy

Rosalie has an undue curiosity about Sebastian. Her findings are interesting, to say the least.

White Rose, Preserved Forever

Sebastian might have conquered death, but his wife has not, and will not undertake the same method. Alas, if there is one way, there can be another.

Protection by Fire, Excessively So

Sebastian is excessively protective of the last friend he has left, to the point it feels creepy.

Frustrated Escape

No matter how hard Rosalie tries, Sebastian always finds her. Perhaps it is better to just give up.

Courtship Concerns of Unfortunate Young Men

Ominis wants to tell Rosalie something, but he feels as if it is not his place to do so. She encourages him to do so anyways.

Hogsmeade Late-Spring Day

Leander and Rosalie are walking through Hogsmeade when she tells him a funny story. He fails to find the humour.

Accomplishments, and Their Meanings

Rosalie discovers what her sister meant when she said that her husband was accomplished.

A Dark Wizard's Dominant Hand

As they go to sleep, Rosalie wants for Sebastian to rest. With that in mind, she proposes a compromise. Things go out of hand quickly.

Over the Shadow of the Unforgivable, Trust

After everything, Rosalie still helps Sebastian out, but it does not mean she trusts him.

Off the Forest’s Beaten Path

Ominis and Rosalie are enjoying their last few days before Summer Break. Something hits them, and they start missing each other before their time is up.

Cold Haunting of Rookwood Castle

Two children fall into a cave-in at Rookwood Castle. They struggle for survival in the biting cold, and against their own minds.

Choked Despair

In a strange and suffocating mix of despair, hatred and solitude, Ominis compensates it on his wife.

The Gods of Feldcroft

The people of Hogwarts Valley believe those who can see magic bring blessings. They may come tied in hidden strings, however.

Clumsy Adoration of a Budding Potioneer

Garreth wants to show Rosalie how much she means to him on a physical manner, but it seems that she has him beat on that regard, too.

Marionette with its Strings Cut (Out Tue., Mar. 5th, 07:00 PM SAST)

If he manages to cure that perfidious final ailment until then, very well, but if he does not… Well, there is more than one way to end his agony.

Winter Nights at the Undercroft (Out Mon., May 13th, 07:00 PM SAST)

Sebastian spends an evening with his girlfriend at the Undercroft. He is unwilling to let her go.

Cherry Blossom Morning (Out Mon., Jun. 17th, 07:00 PM SAST)

Rosalie wakes up after an important, and improper, first for an young woman. Her date is glad to have her at his home.

Dungeon Perfumist (Out Wed., Jul. 24th, 07:00 PM SAST)

Rosalie is brewing at the Potions classroom. What she and an unexpected visitor smell may lead to certain revelations.

Escape the Gaunt Household Alive (Out Mon., Nov. 25th, 07:00 PM SAST)

It is hard to shed away trauma, as Ominis can attest. Thankfully, he is not alone in dealing with the fallout of his terrible upbringing.

The Relic Demands a Sacrifice (Out Mon., Apr. 7th, 07:00 PM SAST)

Dark Magic has a price and the Relic demands a sacrifice. They all know that. Rosalie ponders the subject on her dreams.

Short Fics

Please do not go

A Few Doses of Firewhiskey Too Many

Fetch a Sleepless Man

#hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow #ominis gaunt #leander prewett #gareth weasley

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gio-cosmo · 3 months

Note

ooh, 14, 21 and 22?

Hiii ^^

14. Worst game you’ve ever played?

ooo this one’s tough…realistically, the worst game I’ve ever played is probably some low-budget knockoff wii game I played as a kid or something LMFAOO but I feel like that’s a predictable answer on my part. I feel like I’ve had pretty good luck with games I end up playing, I’m really picky so usually I just. Refuse to pick up a game at all if it doesn’t look interesting lmfaoo. I will say though….the two games I most regret purchasing are Fire Emblem Engage & Pokemon Scarlet 😭 they aren’t the worst games ever by any means but. They were both 60 bucks and I never play them. Very devastating for my measly bank account 😢 ALSO tbf I feel like the reason I dislike Fire Emblem Engage is bc I want another Fire Emblem game to kind of go along the same layout of Three Houses…not a direct copy obviously but Three Houses was just so good. It’s so good in fact that any time I play any other Fire Emblem game that ISN’T Three Houses I’m like….🫤 LMFAOO which I know isn’t a very good mindset for me to have and I should stop comparing them so heavily but…alas. BUT I suppose I can’t even really give Engage a proper rating since I haven’t finished it. Idk I just didn’t really care for the storyline or characters but that’s just me personally.

21. A game you thought you wouldn’t like, but ended up loving?

There’s actually quite a few where this has happened!! There’s been a plethora of games I’ve seen on Steam or in a store and I’ll look it over and be like “ehhh this really doesn’t look like my thing…but it has good ratings…and it’s under my recommended…” and then I’ll usually set it off to the side, and once I get really incredibly bored I’ll cave in and buy it just to give me something to do LMAOO. Needy Streamer Overload was one where I was very skeptic about at first, but I actually really ended up enjoying it (I especially love the soundtrack!) and also World of Horror! I remember seeing people say it was boring and the game mechanics looked so overwhelming so I put off buying it forever, but I finally got it a few weeks ago and it’s probably my fav horror game of all time now. I’m mentally kicking myself for avoiding it so avidly for so long! I don’t find it boring at all, I love games that are built to be replayed as many times as you want. It was funny though bc when I first started playing I was so confused..had me staring at the screen like ☹️ LMFAOO I WAS ACTUALLY BEFUDDLED. But after a few playthroughs it ends up being easy to understand which I am very thankful for. ALSO. Slay the Princess!! Another one I avoided for a while for..honestly idek why. But oh my GODDD I LOVE SLAY THE PRINCESS WOOO YAYYY 🎉 slay the princess honestly was such a crazy surreal experience idek how to describe it. It’s so awesome. It’s coming out on the Switch w a 200 dollar collectors addition thingy and oh my god. Bro. I am DEVASTATED at my lack of funds 😭😭 I actually have to put it out of my mind bc if I think abt it excessively I get really sad 💔 ANYWAYYYSS SHOUTOUT TO SLAY THE PRINCESS 🗣️🗣️ so wonderfully made, beautiful artwork, stunning music…omg. Also grotesque at times but in a way that’s just so fundamentally different and unique? If that makes sense? It’s all so meaningful and connected and they manage to express so many emotions throughout a playthrough. I’ve got every achievement and I’m so happy I gave it a shot :) OH. Also One Shot! One Shot is great…oh my goodness. Woaw. This is making me realize how overly skeptical I am about every game I ever purchase in the history of ever LMFAOO why am I so overly critical 💀 like why do I always have to mull it over for months smh 😭

22. Do you watch any other gamers?

As of right now, no. Not routinely, anyways. I used to be obsessed with watching YouTube game playthroughs as a kid, but I’m not really all that into it anymore. However! I will say that what got me into the Persona franchise back when I was a 5th grade child (?!?!??) is Kubz Scout’s playthrough of it on YouTube! I watched him tons as a kid (someone should’ve been monitoring my internet access for sure 💀) and I still watch some of his gaming videos every now and then. So. Shoutout to Kubz Scout’s for introducing me to my favorite game franchise everrr!! 🗣️🗣️ absolutely crazy that I was watching Persona playthroughs in elementary school though LMFAOO every time I think abt it I’m like … where were my parents at !! 😭

#thank you for the ask!! 💫#WOW I really went on a tangent here. thank you for the opportunity to yap 🙏#ALSOO sorry to the fire emblem engage and pkmn scarlet fans 💔#it’s all up to personal preference! if anyone finds enjoyment out of them I think that’s wonderful <3 #also on the topic of fe3h: BLUE LIONS SWEEP 🗣️🗣️🗣️#I’ve never been able to complete a red eagles run bc it genuinely feels like betrayal 💔 lmfaoo #linhardt carries the red eagles though I will ALWAYS recruit him #I had sm fun answering this!! 🎉

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aller-geez · 1 year

Text

Get to know — Draeko Grey

24 // He/Him // Gay 🏳️‍🌈 // Shifter Mutt (Bighorn Sheep, Chinese Water Deer [Vampire Deer], and African Wild Dog)

Full name: Draeko Aleksander Grey

Nickname: Drae

Date Of Birth: March 5th, 1999

Big Three: Pieces 🌞 Gemini 🌝 Aries ↗️

(under construction!!!!)

Physical Appearance —

Age: 24

Eye Color: Right eye is mint green, Left eye is grey

Hair Color: Split pastel pink and pastel mint green, pink on right side, green on left side

Weight: 108 pounds

Height: 5’4

Race: Shifter Mutt (only mutt ever to have 3 species at once, (Bighorn Sheep, Chinese Water Deer [Vampire Deer], and African Wild Dog))

Distinguishing Marks or Characteristics: Always has deer ears, never human ears. Always drawn with ram horns, which depict a real place in the galaxy, always changing. Is always wearing at least one article of clothing that is pink plaid

Has snake bites, his bridge pierced, his tongue pierced twice, an array of ear piercings, his collarbones and hips pierced, as well as back dimple dermals.

Personality —

Greatest Strength: Seeing the positive in every situation

Greatest Weakness: Taking on his friends struggles, essentially burning himself out

Draeko’s Soft Spot:

Mannerisms: Sweet, sunshine character 🖤🌞

Miscellaneous Trivia —

His ram horns show different spots within space and he can change the location at will, allowing him to accurately read the stars & planets; can give psychic readings based upon that.

Diagnosed Bipolar - 1 ; medicated.

Met Remi & Levi in rehab after getting severely addicted to cocaine and fentanyl, and cruising skeevy sex parties

Sneeze Content —

ALLERGIES

Seasonal allergies that are worse in spring and fall

Grass pollen

Any kind of lily flower

Strong scents or perfumes

How severe are they?

At their worst, Draeko is incapacitated all day, locking himself away in his room alone as to not bother anyone with his constant, rapid kitten-like sneezes, the ticklish cough that gets occasionally brought out by a particularly harsh sneeze, the allergic tears that frequently roll down his cheeks from the intense tickle in his sinuses, and/or his full, congested nose that require him to snort and sniffle to keep the mess from dripping down his face.

Do they get sick often?

No, Draeko usually has a great immune system and doesn’t get sick often.

How bad is it usually?

Since he doesn’t get sick often, when he does, it completely takes the mutt out. He’s melted into a huge blanket on a bed for at LEAST 3 days minimum and very much expects to be carried around via piggyback ride if he for some reason has to leave the bed. Draeko LOVES to be babied by anyone, regardless of their status to him.

Do they stifle?

99.99% of the time, Draeko pinches his nostrils shut while sneezing, resulting in a stifle usually followed by a breathy “Chiiew!”

The only time he doesn’t stifle them is if they come so fast that they even take him off guard, or if he can’t get a hand free in time. Can get pretty messy without stifling.

How loud are their sneezes?

Quiet and kitten-like

What do they sneeze into?

His pinched nostrils, or a pink plaid handkerchief on occasion.

How often do they sneeze?

Often. He’s so used to his allergies and just overall sneeziness that he won’t even stop what he’s saying before a fit, and will keep trying to finish his thought before the fit is over.

How many times do they sneeze in a fit?

Excessively! No less than four times, and extend on for a while.

Do they have build-ups or are they sudden?

Small amount of build up, with the majority being right before the first sneeze in a fit.

Do they sneeze in public?

Yes, Draeko isn’t self conscious about his sneezes at all.

Some examples of their sneezes?

Ihh’gxxnt’iiew!

Hh’NDKT’ih!

H’GXTSH’ue!

K’GNSH’iiew!

Hihh’GXXTsh’iiew!

ehh’Gxxtchh’iew!

Backstory —

Draeko was born to his Chinese water deer mother, and big horn sheep father as the first of his kind, a mutt of 3 shifter species. 2 species was rare in itself, but 3 species was unheard of. The first few years of his life, he spent happily with both parents who loved each other very much. However, once his shifter natures began to emerge and it was apparent he was different and a species that neither parent had lineage for, his father began to resent him and his mother. His father convinced himself his mother had cheated on him, this being the only explanation he could come up with that his child would have African Wild Dog DNA. One night in the middle of the night, his father had been drinking, and after a while of sitting in front of the blue screen of the tv, loaded the shotgun he owned and shot Draeko’s mother in the head 4 times, before attempting to take Draeko’s life at 5 years old. However, the only shot he managed to put in the mutt child wasn’t fatal, only hitting non vital spots, and he managed to lay still enough to convince the man he was killed. His father then prayed and shot himself in the head, before falling to the floor. The scared child tried to wake his mother, and when that did no good, he could only run. He ran far, far away, as far as his small legs would carry him until he collapsed in the middle of a field. When he awoke again, he was surrounded by strange looking men that all crowded around him, mumbling to each other as they stared. Suddenly, the sea of people split, and a large, stout man with a long red beard emerged, slowly making his way towards the mutt child, before he bent down to a more eye level height, Draeko cowering behind his small hands. The man soothed him, and told him he was almost hit by their wagons, but they managed to avoid him just in time. “Wagons?” The mutt child asked, confused.

“We’re part of a traveling circus, and you’re welcome to stay as long as you’d like if you got no where else to go.” The kind man offered, extending a hand out to the boy, who took it graciously coming to his feet. The man offered him food, his own cot, and the familiar feeling of family he lost so suddenly. Draeko grew up with the circus crew, and it was becoming more and more apparent that the people who bring the most laughs and smiles to others are usually some of the saddest people outside of that. He strived to only see the silver lining on the clouds after this, making it his mission to be the uplifting spirit among the weathered men. But soon the pressure of being the strong one no matter what began to wear on the mutt, and at 14 he became addicted to cocaine, and frequently visited sex parties and clubs until his addictions spiraled out of control, and he found himself also addicted to fentanyl. When he could no longer keep his problems under wraps and away from the men of the circus that he called family, his ‘father’ convinced him to check himself into rehab to find himself and his own happiness again, instead of trying to be that for someone else.

Reference Sheet —

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