#but after that she explained it and made the daughter go back outside to actually catch it

[aidenwaites]

Neighbors have yet another new dog they let get loose outside and can't catch 👍

[starkwlkr]

girl, so confusing | f1

an: this is SADLY the last part :( don’t worry, i do plan on writing more fics for the f1 dilf!! here’s your long awaited reveal on the baby daddy lol made this one extra long for y’all <3 enjoy!!

part 1 part 2

faceclaim gisele bündchen

liked by ynstyle, goss1pformulas and others

f1gossiproom could mark webber be the father? recently former red bull and williams drivers, mark and y/n have been spending time together. the pair were spotted having dinner several times and a source confirmed that webber attended y/n’s daughter’s recital! they were once again spotted out in australia spending time in bondi beach with y/n’s daughter (not pictured to protect her privacy) they were soon joined by friends and webber’s family. a source, who wishes to remain anonymous, saw them and said y/n’s daughter, gemma, and mark were bonding as if they were dad and daughter 👀 he even calls her ‘gem’ and ‘gemmy’! what do you think? is mark webber the real father? we certainly think so!

formulaho3 how about just leave them alone?

roscoesno1fan mark looks like a total dilf in that pic so yes

oscarspastry what if the real father is the friends we made along the way?

webberxvettel i need to know the truth before i die

hamiltonsmerecedes not f1 twitter trying to cancel y/n for getting with their faves 😭

lnwhores i stand by my cancelled wife

myhonestbitchface and when y/n reveals that sebastian is the bd then what 🤨 i feel it in my gut 👀 that german bitch is the bd

blackwidowswife bitch you’re just hungry

load more comments

THE PADDOCK SESSIONS has posted a new YouTube video!

Italics = voiceover by y/n

“Hello!” Y/n’s daughter, Gemma, opened the door to Dan. She knew that he was going to film an interview with her mother about her racing career. She watched as Dan’s camera man waved to her. She assumed they had already started filming.

“Gemma hates and loves when I’m away. She stays with her grandparents when I have to leave or if her dad is not busy then they’ll be together. I think she loves it because her dad lets her have ice cream before bed. I’m more of a strict parent between me and him.”

Photos of little Gemma appear on screen. The young girl was picture with her mother on her first birthday, then with Mark and family members then Sebastian and Jenson.

Dan entered Y/n’s London home with Gemma by his side. He spotted Y/n making tea. “Got here just in time.” He laughed as he joined the former driver in the kitchen.

“I hope the flight here wasn’t too bad.” Y/n passed a mug over to Dan.

“Slept my way through it,” before Dan could take a sip from his tea, he noticed the mug that he was given. It had ‘best dad ever’ sloppily written in paint. “Cute.” He held the mug up and smiled.

“Yeah, Gemma made it for her dad last year for Father’s Day.” Y/n smiled proudly at her daughter’s creation.

That’s when Gemma joined the conversation. “But I couldn’t give it to him on actual Father’s Day! He was away racing and couldn’t be here so I had to give it to him later.” She explained.

After the pair finished their tea, they walked together to Y/n’s small garden. There she had a little seating area where the rest of the interview would take place.

“Lovely garden.” Dan commented.

“Thank you, although I won’t take all the credit. Sebastian comes to help, Gemma kind of bosses him around telling him where each flower looks best.” Y/n laughed, setting her mug on the glass table.

“Dad loves the flowers I picked out for the garden.” Gemma pointed out as she joined them outside. As Dan started the interview, Gemma kept playing outside with her toys.

More images of a young Y/n flashed on screen. She was driving for Williams at the time, they were her first ever team.

“Williams was my first home. They were nice to me, but they put so much pressure on me to perform, like every race had to be perfect. And when it wasn’t, you could feel the disappointment, like a weight hanging in the air. I’d go back to my hotel room at night, and it was just me and the silence.”

The video showed a clip of young Y/n in the Williams garage getting ready for her debut race. She noticed the camera then smiled and waved. The video then cuts to from a happy, full of life Y/n to a gloomy, quiet Y/n sitting alone in her garage.

“I didn’t have friends in the paddock back then. Everyone was focused on their own thing, and the people around me—the trainers, the engineers—they all kept their distance. One of my trainers actually told me, ‘I’m not here to be your friend; I’m here to work.’ And that’s when I realized I was completely on my own."

Y/n then looked over her shoulder and saw Gemma using a teddy bear that her father had bought the girl for her birthday last year in Germany. The former driver smiled at the memory of her little family spending a special day together.

Back to the interview, Y/n then talked to Dan about her divorce. It was a dark time for her. She had been young when she said ‘I Do’ to a man she thought was the love of her life. At the time of her marriage, her husband was six years older. She was nineteen at the time, about to turn twenty.

Several headlines from the day her marriage was announced appeared on screen.

“Barely an Adult, Already a Wife: Y/N Marries Six Years Her Senior”

“Y/N’s Whirlwind Marriage: Chasing Love, Not Podiums?”

“Teenage Racer’s Rush to the Altar: Desperate for Love or Just Immature?”

“Is Y/N Looking for Validation in All the Wrong Places?”

“‘She’ll Marry Anyone’: Critics Slam Y/N’s Hasty Decision at Just 19”

"They painted me as some kind of desperate girl who couldn’t handle being alone. The truth was, I was 19, scared, and in love—or at least I thought I was. But that didn’t matter to them. They just wanted to sell papers."

Dan then spoke. “What led to the divorce?”

Y/n sighed deeply. Only a few people knew the real reason. “It’s . . . a complicated thing to talk about. I mean, when you’re nineteen and in love, or what you think is love, you don’t always see the red flags. At the time, I thought I’d found someone who believed in me, who would support me no matter what. But as time went on, I realized that wasn’t the case."

A picture of Y/n getting ready by herself on her wedding day appears on screen. Her family were not present as her husband at the time wanted it to be only them. She smiled brightly at the camera as her photo was taken. The image fades then clips of Y/n racing in the early 2000s play.

“He wanted a family. Kids, a house, the whole thing. And there’s nothing wrong with that, but he wanted it then, right when my career was just beginning. He gave me an ultimatum—racing or him."

Dan lightly gasped at her words. “Oh . . .”

“I chose racing. How could I not? It was everything I’d worked for, everything I’d dreamed of. But he didn’t take it well. He made me feel like I was selfish, like I was throwing away a chance at a ‘real’ life."

Several more images of Y/n and her then husband flash on screen. There’s no photos of him attending races, mostly because he thought racing was dumb and didn’t like loud crowds.

“He didn’t trust me. Whenever I was away at races, he’d insist I call him every single day, sometimes multiple times. If I missed a call because I was in a meeting or debrief, he’d accuse me of . . . things. Things that weren’t true. I couldn’t even have a normal conversation with my trainer or my team principal without worrying about how he’d react."

"There were times I wanted to visit my family, to go home and just breathe. But he’d make me feel so guilty for even thinking about it, like I was abandoning him. So I stopped trying."

The screen cuts back to Y/N on the sofa. Her hands are clasped tightly now, her voice calm but with an undercurrent of emotion.

“And then the divorce was final and for a moment I was happy until he went to the media spreading all sorts of lies.” Y/n added.

Several more magazine headlines appear on screen.

“The Truth About Y/N: Ex-Husband Reveals Why Their Marriage Failed”

“‘She Wanted the World to Love Her, Not Me’: Y/N’s Ex Speaks Out”

“‘All She Cared About Was Fame’: Y/N’s Ex-Husband Speaks Out About Their Divorce”

Then the screen cuts to clips of Y/n’s ex husband being interviewed about their marriage.

“I sacrificed so much to support her career, but she couldn’t give me the one thing I wanted: a family. She was too busy chasing the cameras and the glory.”

“It was rough. Instead of being asked about racing, I was asked about my failed marriage.” Y/n recalled all the times during interviews when her ex-husband’s name was mentioned. “I just wanted to go home a cry, but I had a job to do. But of course the attention I was getting got me fired.”

“How were you told you were no longe driving for Williams?” Dan asked.

“Would you believe it if I said it was a ten second phone call from Claire Williams?” Y/n laughed. “Claire and I were never enemies. A few days after I got her call, she had dinner in my house and explained to me that she didn’t want to be the one to call me, but she was pressured to. Apparently the Williams team thought it was best for her to tell me in a phone call because they thought it would be ‘easier’ if the news came from her, since she’s a woman. They thought it would hurt less coming from her. Can you believe that?"

Dan noticed how Y/n laughed at the mention of the famous ten second phone call.

“It was definitely ridiculous of them. But they didn’t understand how humiliating it was either way. But Claire . . . I could tell she hated it. She ended the call so quickly because she didn’t want to do it. She didn’t want me to be dropped from the team."

A photo showed of Claire Williams talking to Y/n before a race. At the time, Y/n didn’t know it, but Claire was her only friend.

“I don’t blame her for how it happened. She was caught in the middle of a decision that wasn’t hers to make. And honestly, her coming to my house afterward to explain—that meant something. It didn’t fix anything, but it showed she cared." Y/n finished drinking her tea then resumed speaking. “That ten-second call changed everything for me. But at least I know it wasn’t Claire’s choice. It was just . . . Williams being Williams."

“After everything that happened with Williams, you had every reason to step away from the sport. But instead, you joined McLaren. Looking back now, would you say that was the decision that changed everything for the better?" Dan questioned. He watched as her face softened. She truly adored her time with mclaren.

Y/n nodded. “Joining McLaren felt like a fresh start, like a second chance to prove what I was capable of. At Williams, I was just surviving. But at McLaren, I got to thrive."

Clips of Y/n during her time with the mclaren team played. Her smile was genuine and she looked happier than ever.

“I wasn’t sure if I wanted to keep racing. I didn’t know if I could trust another team. But McLaren . . . they believed in me in a way no one else had."

"It wasn’t just about the racing, though. McLaren gave me a second chance, not just at my career, but at myself. It reminded me why I fell in love with this sport in the first place."

“And then came those three idiots.” Y/n laughed when she remembered becoming friends with Mark, Jenson and Sebastian. Her cheeks tinting slightly, but her smile stays steady.

“But with that friendship came negative comments. I remember reading articles calling you horrible names just for having friendships with them.” Dan commented.

“Those negative comments still come my way even after many years,” Y/n added. “I stayed away from social media for that same reason until recently.”

“But with sharing your life on social media also came questions about your daughters life as well.”

Y/n knew it was something that was going to come up in the interview. Dan didn’t want to ask, but Y/n wanted to share. Gemma’s father and her had discussed it before and they both agreed to the interview.

“Yeah, the whole ‘who’s the father?’ thing has taken over every social media app i have. I can’t avoid it, especially when people constantly message me about it.” Y/n spoke. “Jenson thinks it’s hilarious.”

“Jenson?” Dan questioned.

“Yeah, he sent me a meme about it comparing us to Mamma Mia. I sent it to Sebastian and he sent it to Mark.”

The remainder of the interview, Y/n talked about her family she shared with the man who endlessly supported through everything. Every time she talked about him, she smiled brightly. It was clear that she loved him and their daughter more than anything.

As the video came to an end, Gemma was seen running towards someone who was out of frame. “Dad’s home!” Gemma jumped into his arms and hugged him.

“I thought you were flying in next week.” Y/n stood up to hug him.

“I come here to surprise you and Gem and this is how I’m treated?” He placed a kiss on Y/n’s temple, still holding onto Gemma. “Sorry, I definitely interrupted you two, haven’t I?”

“It’s alright, Jenson. We were just wrapping things up.”

INSTAGRAM

liked by landonorris, wagstyle and others

f1gossip after finally revealing the identity of her daughter’s father, y/n and her daughter gemma were seen together in a beach in california 👀 jenson button also lives in california so we’re thinking the button family is spending some time together.

vettelsbees GIRL SEB WAS SPOTTED AT LAX

hamiltonsmercedes AND MARK

nicorosbergisadiva WHAT IS GOING ONNNN

landonorris hey i know her

ferraridepressionclub ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HEREEE

webbertears what do you know you gremlin

load more comments

“Can I have money for ice cream?” Gemma ran up to her parents, Mark and Sebastian. The former drivers were all enjoying the sunshine of California, an idea that came from Gemma. She had been the one to call Mark and Sebastian to join her and her parents. They agreed even if they cancelled their plans with friends. They would literally do anything for the young girl.

Without hesitation, all the men took out their wallets and took out money for the girl. Their actions caused both Gemma and Y/n to laugh.

“Okay, thank you.” She gladly took the money from each of them.

“I’ll go with you, Gemmy,” Mark said as he got up from his spot and took Gemma’s hand in his. Together they walked to the ice cream stand.

“Has Claire called you?” Sebastian wondered. Ever since the interview was posted, the Williams team had posted several posts of Y/n when she was driving for them. They were finally acknowledging her wins and podiums. And of course they received some criticism from fans.

“She messaged me letting me know she watched the interview. She’s happy I did it.” Y/n replied.

“We all are. You should’ve done the interview years ago.” Jenson said.

Y/n only nodded and turned her attention to Mark and Gemma. The girl had always been close to both the German and Australian drivers, how couldn’t she when they had been in her mothers life and now they were in hers.

“Gemma asked if she could go to a race, but she wants you all to be there.” Y/n spoke up. Gemma desperately wanted the three men to join her. Y/n knew they would all say yes immediately.

“Did she say which one?” Sebastian asked.

“She said she wants to go to each of your home races.” Y/n grinned as Jenson immediately said he was in. Sebastian laughed then nodded. Of course they would join Gemma, the girl had them all wrapped around her finger.

“And will you be attending too?” Jenson winked at her. “We could do a repeat of what happened after Australia.”

“Funny, I was about to suggest the same thing but it happened in Canada.” Sebastian teased.

“Well weren’t you a busy woman.” Jenson smirked. “And Mark?”

Y/n kept quiet, innocently sipping her lemonade. After setting her drink down, the former drivers waited for her answer. “If you must know . . . We were in Vegas.”

Jenson groaned. “I was thinking Monaco.”

“What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, baby.”

[snaillock]

would you do satosugu discovering their "friend" (both of them have a fatass crush on m!reader) is a teen dad, and just all of them chaotically taking care of a baby. (like those collage students raising a baby tiktoks?)

ok so technically i only write for blue lock buttttttttttt… i am more than willing to make an exception for this. this is also my favorite niche of satosugu fics so im super honored someone requested it from me

tags: male reader has a foster daughter bc hell yeah girl dads, unnamed child bc that's too much for me, reader is a sorcerer, found family but in a janked up kinda way, whipped satosugu, pre-hidden inventory so everyone is in high school in this this a long one yall

part two coming soon!

★ when assigned an extremely harsh mission, you find an orphaned child barely a year old within all the rumble. you soon found out her family was recently killed in the destruction. unsure of what would happen to her after this, you decided to take her as your own.

★ scared of any judgment, you didn’t tell anyone about her so only a few higher-ups were aware. luckily you were allowed to live off campus so you two could have more space and privacy.

★ however the physical effects of raising a kid all on your own at such a young age were certainly showing. you came to school visibly worn down, often falling asleep in the middle of class and taking more absences than usual.

★ the first people to notice, of course, were gojo and geto. as nosy as they were, they tried not to push it, knowing you had just come back from a really taxing mission. though they did get more and more suspicious whenever you didn’t let them visit your new place.

★ however one day, they did spot you out in public wearing a baby carrier with, of course, a baby they’d never seen before resting right inside. they immediately came up to you and bombarded you with multiple questions before you got them to chill out and explained everything.

★ wanting you to take some time off (and win you over), they offer to take care of her regularly. who were you to refuse? after all, it is free babysitting and you were already using up so much money hiring actual babysitters.

★ during their first babysitting job, you thanked them profusely before going back into your room and instantly falling asleep the moment your body hit your bed, taking a very well-deserved nap.

★ you see, gojo was already pretty hesitant about you having a kid around. this was before he took in megumi so he found basically any child gross and annoying. (though he’s somehow even more attracted to you now that you’re a dad.)

★ coughs dilf lover gojo i mean what?

★ so when gojo picked up your baby for the first time, she immediately cried when they made eye contact and he got so so personally offended that he started rethinking this whole babysitting thing.

★ the first thirty minutes or so of taking care of your kid went pretty okay. that was until she started crying again and neither of them knew why.

★ you see, these idiots have no idea how to care for a child.

★ they frantically tried to calm her down and figure out what was wrong without needing to wake you. they checked if she was hurt in any way, she definitely wasn’t hungry since they already fed her, nor did she need to be changed. gojo even called shoko to see if she could do anything.

★ when they eventually saw her crawling towards your room and sobbing right outside your door, hesitantly let her in to see her climb onto your bed and lay down with you, realizing she just missed you the whole time. that entire experience made them so exhausted that they almost climbed into bed with you. but when they saw the gratitude on your face after you woke up, it made it all worth it.

★ luckily the next few times they watched over her, babysitting got more and more easy as she grew used to them.

★ they start coming over so often to look after her that your place basically becomes their second home.

★ geto is in charge of doing her hair since the last time gojo attempted it, it was just a big mess of hair ties and ribbons. geto’s definitely not complaining since he loves to get her ready. in fact, geto does a lot of the responsible stuff when taking care of her since gojo, hmm what’s a nice way to put it, lacks a lot of the necessary skills.

★ oh yeah, remember what i said about gojo hating younger children? yeah, that completely changes as he spends more time with your daughter. he’s almost always playing with her or showing up with a brand new toy or stuffed animal just for her. he ends up loving her so so much and wants to be her cool fun dad.

★ unfortunately both of them are way too nice when it comes to disciplining her. they let her get away with so much. late bedtimes, too much tv, grabbing any treats she wants off the grocery store shelves. how can they not spoil such an adorable little girl like her!?

★ what’s also unfortunate is how they try to drag you into it.

“come on, y/n. let loose a little. cake for dinner does sound pretty appetizing right now.”

“come on. just let her watch ten more minutes before bed.” gojo lazed on the couch with her on his lap. “besides this cartoon is starting to get good.”

“come onnn… just let her buy it.” geto held up a sparkly pink dress you already told him she doesn’t need with his own sparkles in his eyes. “she’ll look so cute in it. i promise i’ll pay you back.”

★ their hearts explode whenever you’re affectionate with her. they love the way you gently rock her in your arms while humming a sweet lullaby, slowly lulling her to sleep. the way they see you kiss her forehead after placing her into the crib before quickly turning around and acting like they weren’t staring the whole time. they fall head over heels for you for probably the twentieth time by now since they met you but those times were definitely the hardest.

★ they’ve been in her life for a good while so when she begins talking more frequently, she starts calling them her papas as she does with you. gojo aka former “ugh kids are so gross and icky” feels his heart combusting whenever she calls him that and he owns that title proudly. meanwhile geto feels so endeared and honored that she sees him that way.

★ “we’re not the stepdads. we’re the dads that stepped up!” looking asses.💀

★ the secret of you having a kid doesn’t last for long since these two can’t keep quiet about it. they’re just way too happy and want to show her off. especially gojo who scrolls through 100s of photos of her while gushing about her to basically anyone who’ll listen. shoko and nanami are the most common targets whenever this happens.

★ he even ends up showing photos of you and your daughter napping together (that you had no idea he took), making you snatch his phone away in embarrassment.

★ whenever you guys go out on family dates to go to the beach or picnicking, geto always takes the time to dress her up with pretty hairstyles and cute little outfits. he absolutely loves doting on her.

★ they love her with all their hearts and would do absolutely anything for her. she’s so lucky to have three weird dads take care of her and raise her. a very odd and… unconventional family dynamic but an amazing one nonetheless. this family only grows bigger and bigger once gojo takes in megumi and geto practically adopts mimiko and nanako.

please read my rules before following

taglist: @userwithlotsoftime @lucas2060 @kiiyoooo

ayo we rocking with the star bullet points?? 🗣️⁉️

[itsthecline]

WONDERING WHY

0.0 TWO HANGOUTS WORTH

ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ after your parents requested you to bring a date to midsummers , you can only think of one boy you know enough to ask. none other than jj maybank.

word count 2k

warnings christian!reader , kook!reader , and like one (?) sexual innuendo

next chapter

a/n this is a new series i’ll be coming out with now that i’m back from my hiatus:) this is just the prologue before everything gets going , but there will also be little flashbacks thrown in here and there!!!

THE WRECK. a local establishment in the outer banks that was owned by mike and anna carrera right across from the island’s surf shop. the place everyone in kildare went for the best sea food one’s heart could dream up. it was also a regular hangout for kiara , mike and anna’s daughter , and her friends— the pogues.

you didn’t know all of them too well , growing up on figure eight rather the cut. you had kind of known sarah from school , but you really knew jj maybank. he was one of kiara’s friends— a reckless kleptomaniac that grew up only ever knowing petty crimes thanks to his jailbird of a father. it wasn’t entirely his fault he held the reputation he did— you saw that.

you had met a different jj however. you knew jackson jay maybank , the cute boy that came to church with his mom every sunday , the boy you would run around with outside the church after services whenever your moms got to talking. he was your first kiss , and first boyfriend too— in the third grade.

jj maybank was the reason you were even at the wreck. you were actively seeking him out , peering around the restaurant when you stepped inside. you were so distracted by finding him , you ran into someone , knocking them off balance and causing them to drop a tray of food.

“oh , my gosh! i’m so sorry!” you apologized , bending over to help the girl pick things off the ground. you looked up at her and immediately flushed in embarrassment. of course , you would run into jj’s friend. you had finally convinced yourself to just go ask jj what you wanted , and you mess it up before even getting the chance.

“it’s fine,” kiara assured you with a soft laugh , picking scraps of lettuce of the floor and tossing it back on the tray, “at least it wasn’t oysters,” she shivered , remembering a time that did happen.

you both finished cleaning up the mess the best you could before standing up. “gosh , i’m so sorry again , kiara,” you sighed , fishing your wallet from your purse, “let me pay for ‘em.”

“no , no! don’t worry about it,” she quickly replied , pushing your hand of cash back to you, “it was just for my friends. they’ll be happier with fries anyway,” she explained to you , setting the tray down, “were you coming here to get something to eat? i can ring you up.” she moved behind the counter , and you followed despite not coming here for the food. though , the way you could smell everything mike was whipping up in the back made you think twice about it.

“no , actually i was looking for jj?” you admitted , scanning the room again , missing the way kiara’s eyebrows shot up.

“oh?”

“yeah , i just have something i wanted to ask him,” you explained with a short , polite smile. you didn’t exactly want to tell kiara all about your plans , so you kept your words to a minimum.

“okay,” the girl nodded , dusting her hands off, “they’re all out back , so i can take you to them,” she smiled , intrigued enough to want to see how this would all pan out. you nodded , accepting the courtesy before following after her. she weaved through tables , waving at a couple of guests , before pushing out to the patio.

the music changed , switching from a smoother tune to a swingier set. it was obvious someone other than mike or anna had control of the radio. your guess was kiara or maybe sarah.

she rounded the corner , spotting her friends chatting animatedly about something that had happened earlier in their chaotic day. kiara whistled once , catching their attention. “jayj , this nice girl was wanting to talk to you about something,” she announced , pointing over her shoulder at you before sitting down next to cleo and taking a sip from her smoothie.

you awkwardly waved at everyone , grateful for sarah’s familiar smile. jj perked up , not expecting to see you standing there. gosh , he hadn’t seen you in maybe three years. you never frequented the same spots as him , and he obviously didn’t hangout where you did.

somehow you looked the same— minus the baby fat. and he could , quite accurately , guess two bra sizes more than the last time you’d been face to face. you had the same style as before. girlier than all heck and not daring to show off too much. today , you settled on a simple , white skirt and a top in the sweetest shade of yellow. jj couldn’t help the way his eyes dragged down your legs , only being able to see a little snippet of them above your kitten heels. you looked just as cute as the day he’d met you. adorable.

“y/n/n y/l/n , what can i do for ya?” he chirped , pushing himself up from the wooden picnic table and marching over to you.

your hands started sweating when you realized there would suddenly be an audience for this all. “um— may i speak to you in private? please?” you asked , gripping at your skirt to wipe the sweat from your palms. your eyes adverted back to his friends— the infamous treasure hunters.

they had always intimidated you. not that they did it on purpose. no , they were all very kind during your brief and few interactions. it was more of the fact that they had lived so much ; they were so much more than regular nineteen year olds on the island. far more than you.

jj looked over his shoulder , noticing all of his friends eagerly watching and waiting. “sure , angel , we can go talk,” he nodded , gesturing for you to turn. you did , feeling his hand ghost over the small of your back. he led you towards the parking lot , stopping once you hit the gravel. “so what’s up? haven’t seen you in awhile,” he spoke casually , twirling the toothpick in between his teeth.

“midsummers is in two weeks , and my father would really like if i brought a date,” you began , straightening your back to try and come off more confident than you were. something about jj always made you want to shrivel up and hide. it was probably that smirk he was giving you. “i don’t really talk to any boys at all , and so i was hoping maybe you come with me? seeing as we know each other?” you concluded on a more sour note. you hated hearing the way your voice went up at the ends of your statements , obliterating any chances you had at seeming collected. you stared at jj , wincing almost in preparation for his rejection. it wouldn’t be the worst thing if you couldn’t get a date for midsummers , but it would be the worst thing if jj maybank laughed in your face again after all these years.

and then he chuckled , and you wanted to run away and die. you knew you shouldn’t have come here. you knew it would be a no.

“yeah , i’ll do it,” he agreed , getting you to straighten your posture again, “but i’m gonna need somethin’ out of it , ya know?”

“really? yeah! i could , like , pay you. and i’d obviously handle all of the coordination things and such,” you rushed out , ecstatic he actually said yes. you had been so worried about rejection that you hadn’t actually prepared yourself for a positive outcome.

“i mean , yeah , money’s nice , angel,” jj nodded , leaning up against one of the patron’s cars, “what about a date?” he suggested after a few moments of making you wait.

“a date?” you choked out , taking the slightest step back. the rocks beneath your feet shifted , giving away the movement. “i don’t date,” you stated , knowing he knew that about you already. everyone on the island knew.

“what? not even for old time’s sake?” jj tried , flopping his arms to his sides, “i mean , technically we’re already dating,” he defended himself , moving his finger between the two of you, “never really broke up , so…”

“jj , i’m sure our relationship from the third grade has reached its statute of limitations by now,” you huffed , crossing your arms, “besides , you laughing in my face and then continuing to ignore my existence as soon as we got to high school made sure i got the message,” you added , sounding far brattier than you ever had before.

the blonde was taken aback , not expecting you to ever throw something in someone’s face. he didn’t even realize that was something you remembered could be thrown in his face. “yeah , that was mean,” he admitted, “but this date could clear things up. you deserve to get taken out. maybe you’ll let me see your wild side,” he winked , causing your face to crinkle up.

“you’re dirty minded,” you pouted , going to turn away and forget this altercation ever even happened.

“wait!” jj moved forward , grabbing your elbow to stop you from leaving, “i didn’t mean it like that.” you tilted your head , arms still crossed. “okay , maybe i did , but it was a joke!” jj laughed , taking hold of you by the arms and shaking you a little.

you bit back a smile and rolled your eyes. “i don’t date , jj. i just need a date. for midsummers,” you explained to him with a shrug.

it’s not that the idea of a date didn’t spark something alive inside of you. it was that it did. you didn’t want to reignite the flame you once held for jj so close to your heart. he was your first crush , and that meant something to you. even at the ripe age of eight years old. he was one of your first friends , and he left you behind. that wasn’t something easy to forget. you had healed from it , sure , but you knew yourself enough not to reopen the old wound.

“then let’s not call it a date,” jj decided with a firm nod, “we’ll… we’ll call it a hangout. you tag along with me for a day , get a taste of the pogue life. then i’ll go to the kookfest with ya.”

“a hangout?” you repeated suspiciously, “and what activities would this hangout include?”

jj let out a short breath of air , like he was coming up with the first thing that came to mind. “i don’t know? petty crime , doing drugs , drinking beers? driving on my sick bike all the while? that sound fun?”

you let out a laugh , covering your smile as you did. “sounds like an ideal hangout with the jj maybank,” you agreed with a nod.

“yeah? that’s only the first half of the day,” he continued , chuckling along with you. he could almost feel himself slipping back to a younger version of himself. back when you would hang out while your mom’s caught up after their weeks. with how his life panned out , it was easy to forget that you two had once been close friends. it felt like a life time ago. gosh , maybe even eight.

you took another step back , tapping jj’s chest with a smile. “you have yourself a deal , maybank. i’ll see you tomorrow,” you told him , digging out your keys. your bmw wasn’t waiting too far from you.

“tomorrow?” jj asked , not too sure what you could have planned with midsummers two weeks out. anything could happen in two weeks. “what rush are you in , princess?”

you stopped in your tracks , jaw agape. “jj! you don’t just put on a suit and go to midsummers. there’s things that need to be done! there’s fittings , and luncheons , and everything in between,” you explained , not completely shocked he didn’t know , but still annoyed you had to spell it out.

“wait , wait , wait—“ jj chuckled , shaking his head, “what-cheons?”

“oh , my goodness,” you sighed , pulling out your phone, “give me your number. i’ll text you everything that needs to happen in the next two weeks.”

jj took your phone , typing in his information. “i think i should be compensated with two hangouts then,” he bargained , shooting himself a text so he would have your number too.

“you are such a pain. fine,” you quickly agreed , taking back your phone, “ten a.m!” you pointed at him , moving to your car.

“jesus , woman! you’re killing me!” jj gasped , wiping a hand down his face like he was under serious duress.

“my house!” you added with a smile , getting in your car and starting her up. you waved at him through the mirror before driving away. maybe it was a good thing you convinced yourself to ask him. it’d be a nostalgic two weeks , but at least it would be fun. that much you knew.

pulling out the parking lot , you got a text message. you braked , checking to see if it was your mother , but instead saw a text from jj.

daddy j💦

see you tomorrow princess

[cameronluvr]

BABY DADDY PART 2 — exbf!dad!rafe x mom!reader

summary: after rafe refuses to let you take the baby home, you call his dad and ask for his help. ward is the only person you know that can take control of rafe and calm him down.

warnings: toxic!rafe, arguing, angst, mentions of cocaine, mostly ward x rafe but rafe x reader towards the end, rafe is less toxic in this part — lmk if i missed any 𐙚

: ̗̀➛ 𝓶𝔂 𝓶𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽 ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

you sit in your car outside rafe’s place, not daring to drive away knowing that your daughter isn’t in safe hands. you only know one person that can help you right now, and that’s ward. as crazy as ward can be sometimes, he is always willing to help protect you and his granddaughter when rafe gets too much.

you dial ward’s number in your phone, and he picks up almost straight away. “hey y/n, you ok?” he asks on the other end. “hi, uh… actually i sort of need your help. rafe’s— uh, in one of his moods again… and he has drugs lying around and is refusing to give y/d/n back to me.” you explain the situation to ward.

“he what?— i’ll be right over.” he tells you before hanging up. you sigh, putting your phone down in your lap and resting your head on the steering wheel in front of you, anxiously waiting for rafe’s dad to get there.

less than ten minutes later, he pulls up, parking his car behind yours. you saw him open the door and get out, so you do the same. “you alright?” ward walks up to you, rubbing your arm to try cheer you up. you looked awful. your eyes were red and wet, as well as your cheeks. “no, i just want her back” you shake your head, your lips quivering as you try to hold back tears.

“stay here, okay? i’ll go get her.” he tells you, seeing you nod. he walks up to the house, so you get back in your car and watch him through the window. ward wasn’t the greatest dad to rafe, but he wanted what’s best for you and your child, his granddaughter. he knows that rafe doesn’t treat you as well as he should, and thinks you deserve better.

ward knocks on the door, and rafe answers shortly after, holding the no longer crying baby in his arms. “oh, really?” he scoffs knowing you had called his dad. “yes, really, rafe. what the fuck are you doing?” he asks, looking at his son with disappointment, wanting to hear his side of the story.

“i’m not doing nothin’, dad, she was yelling at me, she made the fuckin’ baby cry, so i ain’t givin’ her back.” rafe looks his dad in the eye as he speaks, shaking his head. “why was she yelling at you, rafe?” ward asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

… no answer.

“huh? why, son?” he asks again, already knowing the answer but wanting to hear it from him. rafe rolls his eyes and sighs loudly, not necessarily wanting to say the reason. ward shakes his head and invites himself into the house, walking past rafe. “come in…?” rafe sarcastically mumbles to himself as he shuts the door with his free hand.

ward walks around the place to look for the drugs you were talking about. logically, rafe would’ve gotten rid of the evidence as soon as you left, but he didn’t get rid of all of it. the lines of cocaine were gone, but the bag was still there, indicating that he sniffed it when you left, but ward doesn’t know about that.

ward locks eyes onto the bag of coke, and walks over to it to snatch it from the coffee table. “really, rafe?!” ward raises his voice at his son, but not loud enough to scare the baby, she’s already witnessed enough fighting and yelling today.

“dad,” rafe whines like a child, as if he isn’t holding his own in his arms. “don’t dad me, are you kidding me?” ward’s eyebrows raise, and eyes widen in anger and shock, holding the bag in front of him.

“… rafe. you have a baby in your arms right now, and you’re high off this shit?” ward asks, sighing. “i’m not high.” rafe shakes his head, but ward knows he is. “right, okay. give me the baby” ward huffs, holding out his arms.

“no, why?” rafe asks, holding her back just like he did when you tried to take her. “because, she needs her mom. she’s worried sick outside, she’s crying… she just wants y/d/n back.” ward sighs as he explains, just wanting his son to understand and comply, not excuse and argue.

“she made her cry—”

“you had cocaine lying around with her child in here. you don’t think she has a reason to fucking yell at you?” ward asks, defending you, not him.

“she’s my child too!” rafe argues, pointing to himself with his free hand.

“i know, rafe, but a good dad wouldn’t put their child in danger like that.” ward says. “oh, and you were the most perfect dad, yeah?” rafe scoffs a laugh. “i know i wasn’t, son, and i’m sorry about that, okay? but can you please just give me the baby so y/n can take her home? do you really want her to think about her father the same way you think of me?” ward asks, holding out his arms, waiting for rafe to hand the kid over.

rafe really thinks about what his dad just said. he realizes that he really doesn’t want his baby girl to grow up and hate her dad, just like how he hated his dad for always mistreating him, leaving him out, and telling him to man up. he sighs after a few moments of silence, giving his daughter a kiss on the cheek before finally deciding to hand her over to ward.

“hi, sweet girl,” he softly says to her, gently taking her from rafe’s arms to hold her in his, smiling at her and kissing the top of her head. “thank you, son” he looks at his son as he holds his granddaughter on his hip, giving rafe a proud look. rafe nods, realizing he did the right thing.

“y/n’s waiting outside, so… i should go.” ward tells rafe, seeing him nod again. they both walk over to the door and rafe opens it, ward exits and stands in the doorway with the kid on his hip. “i love you, son, okay? remember that” ward tells him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “yeah…” rafe nods. he had never experienced much affection from his dad, so it was mostly unfamiliar to him.

as for you, you look out your car window to see rafe and ward at the door, and thankfully ward has your baby. you get out of your car, walking up the driveway to meet ward halfway. he hands the little girl to you, who is already looking at you with a grin and grabby hands. you quickly take her, mouthing a “thank you” to ward before he turns to talk to his son for a moment.

you walk back to your car to place your daughter in her car seat, sitting her down and strapping her up, making sure she has everything she needs. you place a pacifier in her mouth before giving her a sweet kiss on the cheek, turning around to see ward walking towards you, rafe following a bit behind him. “thank you, again, ward…” you say quietly, not wanting rafe to overhear and belittle you over it later. you know how unpredictable he can be.

“don’t worry about it, just glad she’s okay,” he says, giving you a little hug before saying goodbye to the baby in the car. “see you soon my little princess,” he rubs his granddaughters cheek with his finger, watching her smile at him. he takes his head out of the car, and says goodbye to you before heading back to his car.

rafe approaches you now, sighing as he silently walks up. “… i’m sorry” he seemed hesitant to say, it wasn’t ok, but he is still your baby’s father, whether you like it or not.

“… just, don’t do that shit around my daughter again, okay? because you seriously won’t be seeing her—”

“i won’t,” he cuts you off. “okay? i won’t. i’m sorry.” he says, surrendering his hands up in front of him. “good.” you cross your arms, nodding as you accept his apology.

he walks past you, and walks to the open car door behind you, where your daughter sat in the backseat, strapped and ready to go. she has a plushie toy in her hand she’s playing with, so rafe reaches down and giggles at the sight of her.

“daddy loves you, princess, m’kay? i’ll be better, for you” he says like she can understand him, giving her a kiss on the head before standing back up to close the door, turning around to face you again.

you stand with your arms crossed over your chest, and a slight smile on your face. “you mean that?” you ask, seeing him nod. “i’ll change, y/n. i realized i don’t want her to grow up with a shitty dad… like mine was,” he sighs. he loved his dad, but he sure was toxic.

“i’ll change for you, too, y’know…” he scratches the back of his head. you aren’t together, but he wants the best for his daughter, and that means keeping you happy, too.

you smile, opening your arms for a small hug. he accepts it, loosely wrapping his arms around your back to hug you. “i’ll see you soon, ‘kay?” you ask, seeing him nod. you walk around to the drivers side, getting in the car and putting your belt on.

you drive away, sighing at what had just happened. you’ve heard those words a thousand times from him in the past, you don’t know why you’re expecting him to keep his promises now that you have a kid together, but you sure as shit hope he changes. for the baby.

IDK WHY I ALWAYS MAKE RAFE LESS TOXIC IN THE 2ND PART OF EVERY STORY 💀 but nonetheless, i hope you guys enjoy part 2! .𖥔 ݁ ˖ let me know what you think in the comments. LOTS OF LOVE <33 — PS, NOT PROOFREAD, COULD BE MULTIPLE MISTAKES LOL, JUST IGNORE HAH

@cameronluvr

[romanarose]

The Ghost of You

Banner by my dear @commonmisery

Ghost!Joel Miller x fem!reader

TLOU 2 SPOILERS AHEAD! YOU"VE BEEN WARNED!

Join my taglist: Masterlist

Buy Me A Coffee : Kofi : Go Fund Me

Summary: After moving into Jackson, you're put up in a house that hasn't been lived in for years. Soon, you realize you aren't alone. Can you help Joel move on to the next life to be with his daughter? Or will you keep him here selfishly with you?

Warnings: TLOU 2 SPOILERS, ghost!sex, mentions of violence and the things Joels done and what happened to him. bittersweet ending. Body marking and blood but it v consensual. It's loving.

A/N: This is my goodbye to writing Joel. I've made a few statements on thi before and if you've followed me for a while you know why. I won't rehash it. But I wanted to write this idea I had talking to @multiversed-daydreamer as my goodbye. i won't say it my last joel forever but it is for along time. all other series are cancelled. I am also just largely essening my writing for p-boys but I'll still be around witing frankie and javi and marcus sometimes. You never know. My main focus rn is logan howlett, triple frontier, and my original content

This is my love letter to the Joel fandom that has given me so much love and friendship

Looking for something similar? Brother by @macfrog is Tommy saying goodbye, and The Devil's Wife is devil!Joel, similar theme of halloween by @noxturnalnymph

8.5 words

It was cold. That was annoying. How you’d wandered your fucking way out to Wyoming, you’ll never understand. One minute you were in Florida complaining about the heat, now you were being treated for frostbite in your toes.

You’d arrived in Jackson last afternoon, nearly frozen to death and had been crashing in the clinic bed ever since. The doctor, a nice older man, took care of you and a few nurses checked in overnight, and today you were cleared to get settled. Word of mouth had told you Jackson was the place to go, a safe haven, a community where people actually take care of each other. Maria Miller, the town founder, had just left your room saying she’d be outside doing paperwork whenever you were ready for the short tour. You’d get the full spiel eventually, but right now the frostbite made walking a little hard. She'd just show you her office, the mess hall, a few quick essentials and then take your to your new home.

That was when you heard shouting outside the door. One voice was Maria, the other you didn’t recognize. It was hard to hear, but you listened in with your ear pressed to the door. 

“It’s been 3 years Tommy. I know this is difficult for you but-”

“You don’t know shit!”

“Excuse me? Who was there for you when you drowned your feelings in moonshine for years? Who took care of Walker while you went off on pointless revenge missions!”

“Don’t you bring him into this. Don’t fucking do that shit, Maria, you know I had too.”

A beat of silence. “You had to do whatever you had to do to deal with what happened. We forgive you, we took you back here and the whole town in glad for it. But Tommy… Jackson is growing. We need the space-”

“You never fucking liked him! You never wanted him around! I bet you’re glad-”

The shouting began to overlap each other, voices raising until you were uncomfortable enough with the man’s temper you grabbed your gun and opened the door, pointing it at him.

“Settle down there, cowboy. Ain’t nice to yell at a lady.”

*

The next few minutes were embarrassing, to say the least. Maria explained that Tommy was her ex-husband. She didn’t go into the argument, but she assured you, not without gratitude, that firstly she could handle herself, and second that Tommy wasn’t a threat.

After Tommy left with a pointed ‘fuck you’ in your direction, you turn back to find Maria rolling her eyes. 

“He’s a good man. I promise. Good dad, works hard, takes care of his people. He just gets… well, there’s some sore spots. C’mon let’s get you home. I bet you’re tired.”

Settled into the house that felt way too big for just you, your thoughts drift to the man. He was older, 50’s maybe? Dark brown hair with a few streaks of gray and tired lines around his eyes, but handsome. He was so angry, and angry at you. What the hell did you do? You hadn’t even been here a day! Fucking unreal. Men were men no matter where you went, but their temper tantrums never ceased to amaze you. 

The house was pretty empty. You’d been given a few furnishings, but the house was stripped of all character, certainly taking apart everything the previous owner had. Had the place been occupied since the world fell apart? Or had someone who lived here died? You wondered how. You wondered if they had family, or if the town was their family. 

The kitchen had kindly been stocked up pretty well, and you’d been given some toiletries so after eating, you enjoyed your first warm bath in a long time. Running water, and it was warm? Fantestic. You boiled a pan of water and tossed it into the tub for some extra heat just how you liked it.

In bed that night, that’s when things got weird. You felt a coldness wash over your body, a shiver you didn’t expect under the warm blankets. Then the window unlatched and flew open. You gasp, fearful at first, but then justify that since it’s on springs, the latch must’ve been not done right and just sprung open. No big deal. But then you felt a hand on your cheek and you froze.

It didn’t linger more than a second. The touch was fluid, but not wind, not air. There was a roughness to it, the distinct feeling of a large hand cupping your face… but you weren’t scared. Instead, you felt calmed. Relaxed.

It became routine, after a few weeks, you refused to go to sleep until you felt it, the touch of warmth on your face, and you felt safe. It didn’t take long for you to believe you had a ghost; after the cordyceps, ghosts were never far from disbelief, something you’d always been open to, but the question was who.

That would be answered soon enough. You could just ask, yeah, but you wanted to find out, in their own words. As the days progressed, you’d been given time to recover and adjust before working, so you spent a lot of time settling into your house. This was not without its encounters with the ghost. More and more, they seemed to get stronger, able to do more, communicate more. There were items shuffled around, bigger and bigger until the couch was moved.

“I don’t like it there.” You said out loud, pushing it back a few feet.

They moved it again.

“Come on, you’re being annoying.” You move, just for it to get moved back again.

You throw your hands up in the air. “Fine! At least be useful and carry the chair upstairs.” No response, no movement. “Dick.” A gust of wind through your hair and you giggle.

You scribble together a make-shift ouija board, a circle tied from some guitar string you found in a box the ghost knocked off a shelf that must’ve not been cleaned. 

Candles lit, you cross legged on the floor, you try to get information. Requests for the name came up empty, but the string moved to  “yes” when asked if they were a man.

“How old are you? Or- were you?”

5. 6.

“Old man.” You chuckle when wind brushes your hair. You’d learned this was his way of teasing.

“How did you die?”

D-o-n-t-g-o-g-o-l-f-i-n-g

“Don’t go golfing? What does that mean?”

No response.

“Was that a joke?”

Yes.

“Well, I don’t get it. You know that, right?”

Yes.

“Fine, don’t wanna talk about death I see. Fair enough, never been there myself but I heard it’s not fun. Uhhhhhh got any kids?”

2

“Go on.”

2 g-i-r-l-s. 1 d-e-a-d.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that… where is the other?”

I-d-o-n-t-k-n-o-w

“Shit, i’m sorry about that too. Must be confusing.” Not knowing where your daughter is must be hard. “Is your other daughter with you? In the afterlife I mean?”

e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g-i-s-d-a-r-k

That broke your heart. “Must be scary.”

Yes

Then, the string moved again.

N-e-w-t-o-p-i-c

a-b-o-u-t-y-o-u

For whatever reason, this makes you blush. You spend the evening telling him about yourself, sharing details and asking him the same. He didn’t like talking about his family, refused to answer any more questions. Wouldn’t say his name.

But it was the first time you’d been called beautiful over ouija board, you knew that much. 

Even after you began working, every evening you’d run home to spend time with this ghost of a man. The most people saw of you outside your day labor was a pop into the mess hall to take food home or the clinic as they checked you were recovering okay.

“Don’t see much of you.” The doctor commented. “You adjusting okay? I know it’s a lot to get used to.”

You blink in confusion. You were fine. Happy, even. Sure, you didn’t get to know anyone… but why would you? You did your part for the community, then you went home. Hell, you volunteered extra hours sometimes, picking up more than your fair share. You just didn’t want to get close, that’s all. People died, you’d learned that hard lesson early in life, and learned it over and over and over again. There was no point in making friends, falling in love. Not when it was all so fragile.

But you had your ghost man. He had already crossed that barrier, so there was nothing to fear. Nothing to lose.That night, you talked out loud to him about your day as you always did, he made little sounds knocking cabinets together or brushing a breeze on your skin to let you know he was listening. Sometimes winds rustled your hair when he thought you were funny. Then, the wind turned into a gust, and two firm hands pressed you down the hall, the message clear.

“Jesus! I’m going I’m going!” You follow the breeze bushing you. Fuck he was getting more powerful every day. Pushed to the kitchen, you’re face to face with the fridge.

“If this is a fat joke- hey!” Two distinct fingers pinched your cheek and you laughed. “Okay, tell me what you want!” A breeze, and you hear a fluttering between the fridge. When you bend down and dig around the dust bunnies, you find a piece of distinct photograph paper, and pull it out. On it was a picture of a man, 30’s, maybe 40’s if you were pushing it, his arm wrapped around a hung girl holding a trophy. They looked happy.

“Is this you?”

The picture ruffled in your hand. 

“And the girl, that your daughter?”

The pictures motion was repeated. This looked like it was from before, from long ago… you assumed the girl was the daughter that died.

“It’s so cute…” You traced the picture of your ghost, having a face but no name still. Your feel warm, a blush creeping around your skin and a deep heat settling in your stomach. He was handsome. You’d never really pictured him,, besides a few wandering thoughts here and there, but nothing stuck. You put his picture on your fridge.

At night, the image of his face danced in your head, unable to sleep. It was weird, this friendship you had with the ghost in your house, but you didn’t really care. There were worse things in this world, darker ways to cope. So what if a dead man made you happy, made you blush and grin and giggle. So what if he was the reason your hand was currently being shoved into your PJ’s. 

You’d be lying if you hadn’t touched yourself that first night, but this was the first night you pictured his body on your, his face, that beard…

“Are you watching me?” You asked, panting. That was a first too. You knew there was a possibility he watched, but you didn’t really care. Never had. Now, you hoped he did.

A pause.

Then, the liquid touch of a hand on your face. He was here. He was watching.

“Good.” You assure him, hoping he stays. “Want you to watch.” Your fingers begin to pump in your cunt, and you kick off the covers. So what if it was cold, you wanted him to see you. You thought about what it would be like to feel his face buried between your legs, what his voice sounds like, how he’d touch you-

“You can touch me, if you want. Not just my face.” It was a bold statement. Things with you and him had been friendly, close, a little flirty… but nothing so far had suggested more. For a moment, you thought he wouldn’t. Maybe he just watched to watch. Maybe you embarrassed him and he left.

Then his touch landed on your face, slowly trailing down, down, until you could feel hands on your breasts. The slightest brush on lips ghost the shell of your ear, your cheek, and your heart swells. He wants to kiss you. 

“You can kiss me. It’s okay.” It wasn’t as strong a touch a his hands, but he ridgid texture of chapped lips touch yours, and ripples of pleasure flow throughout the erogenous zones on your body, far ore reach than two hands ever could. It tickles, and it feels fucking good.

“Wish you were here….” You mumble, still fucking yourself as hips bucked against yoru fingers, sopping wet sounds fill the quiet bedroom. “Never connected to anyone the way I have you.” A squeeze on your leg reassured you, and soon your tits were being messaged in a way clumsy human hands couldn’t do. It was like the rolling ocean crashing and waving and peaking on the tender flesh, a surreal experience to your touch-starved body.

“I’m gonna cum, I’m f-fuck, you’re gonna make me cum-”

Then you hear it, clear as day, sharp and quick against your ear.

“Joel.”

His name. You cry it out as your pussy clenches down on your fingers.

*

After that, ghost sex was something you and Joel regularly engaged in. He couldn’t really speak much still, usually only getting out one word. Generally it was ordering you to cum, sometimes a single word compliment slipped through with a southern accent.

“Beautiful.” He whispered as you lay in bed, satiated and panting.

He thought you were beautiful when you came.

There was never another reason to go anywhere outside of your home other than to work or get food, and more and more you just got groceries and worked with what you had. You liked cooking with him ,you didn’t want to be away.

Today, as you tried to make soup, you couldn’t help laugh as he managed to speak “More seasoning” and lift a fuck ton of herbs up and into the pot. At least he was a helpful ghost.

“You can just make it next time!”

You expect to feel your hair rustle, but instead his voice speaks.

“Tommy.”

Then a knock on the door. You were so startled (people never visited you) you almost didn’t answer. No one outside that door could be worth time away from Joel, but he pushed you to answer, a desperation in his actions that matched the tone he spoke the name.

When you answered, you would have shut the door if you weren’t curious about Joel’s reaction.

There stood the man who got in a shouting match with Maria. Oh, yeah, Tommy, that’s right. But why was he here? Tommy was tall, but his posture at the moment was sunken, sheepish. When he looked at you, pink dusted his tan skin. “Can I talk t’yuh?”

You narrow your eyes. “Sorry, but the last time we spoke you weren’t exactly polite enough for me to feel like welcoming you inside, and every time I’ve seen you, you give me dirty looks.”

He nods. “I understand, that’s why I uh… wanted t’explain myself. I shouldn’t’ve done that, but I was angry. Ain’t right, still…”

“What could I have possibly done to you?”

His eyes were large, brown, and wet. “This was uh… my brother’s house. He died 3 years ago.”

*

5 Minutes later, Tommy was sitting on the couch with you, cup of soup in hand. You hadn’t felt or heard Joel, but this was your chance. Some answers.

“Funny.” He pats the couch. “This was his. Was right here for years, never moved it.”

“It’s uh… a good spot. Now, I think you had some explaining to do?”

“Right…“ Tommy rubbed the back of his neck. “The house has been empty since he died. My wi- ex wife, I guess, kept it empty out of courtesy but she was right. It was time to move on.”

“Did he die in here?”

He shook his head. “No.”

Tommy explained it to you. The revenge that was enacted on his brother for saving the girl, Ellie. You wondered if that was his daughter he mentioned, but Tommy just referred to her as his kid. How the woman and their group killed him, Tommy saw his brother's head bashed in, brain matter on the walls. 

The golf joke still didn’t make sense, but you’d figure it out. You learned more about Joel too, that he was from Texas, that his daughter, Tommy niece, died on outbreak day. Joel’s birthday. Joel played the guitar, he liked to swim, was an overbearing brother and loving dad. He was married once. He learned to cook to get Sarah to eat veggies so he was pretty good at it. Was a good man. The best, the way Tommy spoke.

“I know it ain’t right the way I’ve treat’n yuh. And I know it’s not your fault. I just hadn’t been handling his death well, you know? Lost my wife, almost lost my son… I ain’t been the man he raised me to be. I now you don’t… do anything. In town. That’s probably my fault and I’m so-”

“You think I stay home because I’m avoiding you?” You nearly bark out a laugh, his eyes growing in confusion. “Brother, I ain’t scared of no man, if I wanted to go to the movie nights I would have!”

Tommy processes this information, sipping on the last of the soup broth. “Oh… I guess I just assumed...”

“Well, you know what they say about assuming. Make’s an ass out of you and me. Here, gimmie.” You take his mug, walking to the kitchen to rinse it and still giggling.

Tommy follows you. “Well I’m sorry! I guess I just figured, the time’n ‘n all.”

You throw a look over your shoulder. “I stay home because I like it here. Because I’ve been alone for years, so I’m fine with it.”

“But why not-” He stops in his tracks. “Where did you get that?”

You follow his line of view and realize your mistake. “Uh. I uh. I found that while cleaning the kitchen, by the fridge. I guess I thought it was nice, so I hung it up… why? Who is it?”

You knew the answer before he even spoke Joel’s name. You had to pretend to be surprised, but even worse, you knew what you needed to do.

“Keep it.” You say, pushing the picture closer to him, breaking you a bit. You had to hide every emotion, because there was no reason for you to have any attachment to it. He didn’t know what you and Joel shared with each other. Who he was to you. It didn’t matter, because Joel was his brother. The girl was his niece. He deserved the picture.

“That’s her. That’s Sarah.” Tommy continued, confirming your suspicions as his finger trailed over the girl. 

“She’s adorable.”

“Yeah… she was. Great kid too.”

Tommy helped you wash up the dishes from making soup, you and him talking more. He was nice when he wasn’t yelling. You could understand why he was so upset at the time, and you forgave it.

You told as much as he stood in your doorway. “I don’t hold it against you. I promise.”

He nods, smiling and looking more at ease. “Promise you’ll come to the next movie night, it’s tomorrow. It’ll be good for you, I promise.”

“What’s playing?‘

“Scream 2!”

You roll your eyes. “Not the first one?”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Tommy says with a tease. “Is fucking scream 2 at the end of the world not enough for you?”

You shove him out of your door, laughing. “Fine! I’ll fucking come. But only to see Timothy Olyphant.”

You shut the door, and turn around still laughing. But what you see shocks you so bad, you’d have screamed if you didn’t cover your mouth.

It was Joel. Faint. Barely there. A dead eyed stare. Much older than the picture and his hair was longer. But it was him.

“Joel?” You say, tentatively walking towards him. He wasn’t looking at you, instead, he was looking at the door, unmoving, unblinking, unbreathing. Your hand passes through him and when his form dissipates, you fall to the ground and cry.

*

“Are you mad at me?” You ask. He was strangely quiet the rest of the day, only a few little touches here and there. No ghost sex that night. When you are getting out of work clothes and putting something warm on for the movie, you bring it up.

“No.”

“Well, you’ve hardly talked to me. Is it because I asked Tommy as those questions about you? I’m sorry, it’s just easier that way and I wanted to know what happened to you-”

“I miss him.”

Three whole words. 

“You’re getting stronger. Did you mean to appear to me yesterday?”

“You saw me?”

“Yeah, and I hear you really good now.” You grin. “I can’t believe you’re talking this much. Maybe I’ll skip the movie, I don’t wanna lose-”

“No. Go.” a brief pause. “Please.”

“Joel Miller,” You tease him. “Are you having me check on your baby brother?” He rustles your hair.

*

So, you started hanging around Tommy more. It started as filling Joel in on his life, but really, you liked being around Tommy. He was easy to talk to. 

You lay on your side in bed, trying to picture his face as you’d done every night for months as you talk to him. Joel’s voice was clear, fully communicating with you now. Every now and then you could see a glimpse of him in a mirror or the faint frozen picture of him standing somewhere, usually after Tommy was over. 

“Walker is doing really well.” You tell him about his nephew you’ve met a few times. For a few years, Tommy was barely around after Joel’s death, most of the time he was drunk. There was an incident several months ago where Tommy passed out of the couch and Walker tried to start the stove, resulting in a small kitchen fire, and Tommy effectively lost custody of his son. Not that family court existed here, but Tommy knew he couldn’t be there. This was shortly after you moved in, and was the reason Tommy finally got sober. Things were going better now, and he’s repairing that relationship.

“You met him?”

“Yeah, he’s quiet. But he’s very polite.” Tommy said he takes after Joel. Walker and Joel had been very close before he died, Tommy adored the little boy. The little boy in question was now 8, growing up.

He sighs. “Yeah, he was a good kid. I never had a son, figured raise’n Tommy was close enough. But when I was with him… Sometimes I think back to when Sarah died, how hard Tommy fought to keep her alive… yuh know, after she died I was just, I was drowning in my sadness. There was no room for Tommy’s grief, I guess. He’s stronger than I gave him credit for, because he was always there for me. If I had lost Walker… I dunno if I could have been that strong.”

A few days later, you invite Tommy and his son over for dinner, and as you stare at Walker eating his food and laughing you can see Joel. He’s no longer a still picture, he’s moving, and smiling, and laughing too. No one else can see or hear him.

But he looks right at you.

*

You can see him now, laying on the pillow beside you as the pair of you talk. Sometimes he’s tangible, hands touching your face and you can see his tan skin through your peripheral. Sometimes it’s more faint, like he’s using all his strength to be see and he can’t materialize his touch. You don’t know how it works, but you’re happy to see his face. Joel has kind eyes, a softness in a world of blood and violence.

“You're beautiful.” And it’s your voice whispering it to him, because he is. Every line on his face, the scar on his forehead, the tired darkness under his eyes as if an eternity to sleep wasn’t enough. Every little freckle you could map on his face on days he was more clear. It was perfect. It was him. 

A sadness crosses over those pools of brown. “I really don’t deserve you…” When you open your mouth to protest, he continues. “I’ve killed people.”

That wasn’t a shock. Who hasn’t? “I have too.”

But Joel shakes his head, curls staying in place as if gravity is now inconsequential, as if he’s frozen in time with a single lock on his forehead. “No, I’ve killed innocents. A lot. Me ‘n Tommy, before… and protect’n Ellie…”

You thought about this for a while, a chill of cold reminiscent of when he first came to you makes you shiver, but when you look at him, you don’t feel the repulsion you know he expects. “You kill children?”

“No.” He says firmly, a glimmer of sadness crossing his eyes. You didn’t think so, knowing he knew what that loss was. “But that don’t make it much better.”

“Did rape anyone? Kill people for fun? Get off on it?” 

Disgust mares his features. “No, never.”

You nod. “You kill any innocent people since coming to Jackson? Settling here?”

Again, a shake of his head doesn’t knock loose a single hair. “No, but before-”

“I’m not worried about before.” You voice is soft, and you tentatively reach a hand out to caress his face. His skin was soft, softer than a man in his 50’s would be, but that’s what happens when you aren’t fully there. “I don’t care about that. Really, I don’t. You deserve a second chance just as much as anyone does. The world out there-” You vaguely whisk your hand around. “Does things to us. As far as I’m concerned, as long as you’re not a rapist, didn’t kill kids, not one of those really, really bad people… I think you deserve to leave that all outside the gates of Jackson.”

His eyes soften, affection pooling with something more. “Thank you, darl’n I mean it. I wasn’t always forgiven in that life. Nice to know someone does in this one,”

Your heart aches for him, so you try to ease his pain. “Tommy forgives you, I know it. You heard how he talks about you.”

But he’s still distant. “Maybe. But maybe he just misses me. That’s different. Besides, there’s someone I know hasn’t.”

“Ellie?”

He nods. “She…. well, we just started talk’n, right before I died. Didn’t have the chance to find out if she ever would, you know? Now I never will.”

“She does, Joel. It’s been years, I know she does.”

But he didn’t believe you.

*

Joel’s words stuck with you, simmering in your head like the soups he helps you make. Today you were on patrol with a fairly quiet partner, so you had nothing left to do but think, think, think. Why did his words affect you so much? He was so stuck on forgiveness, even though he’d never know-

Oh.

That’s why he was trapped here, wasn’t it? Joel’s ghost remained behind because he didn’t have the closure he needed. Tommy and him had made up, but Joel died not knowing if Ellie ever did. Years of estrangement for taking her from the hospital, for saving her, for lying, and he wasn’t sorry, he told you himself. But he needed Ellie’s forgiveness. He needed to know Tommy didn’y hold resentment. He needed to know they were safe, that they were okay.

Joel couldn’t talk to Tommy. For some reason, you could hear him speak when Tommy was around, see him, but Tommy never reacted. Joel couldn’t even move things or create a breeze when he was around…

If Joel got what he needed, the forgiveness, the resolution he longed for, he could move on. You knew it. He was getting stronger every day, his appearance crystal clear, his touch more and more solid, less fluid than before. You wanted little more than to have him like that, as close to a real person as he could get, at your home you shared with him every single day, every hour, sleeping next to him, cooking with him, fucking him… part of your mind told you that you could do it.

But that wasn’t right. He’d be little more than a housewife, a sex doll, a captive. You could keep him there, to be your only friend outside of occasionally seeing his brother, the person who knew you best, someone always there to talk because what other options did he have? 

That wasn’t you. The rational part won out, and your knew what you had to do.

*

Tommy’s face was one of worry when you told him you’d seen the ghost of his brother. You’d spilled it all out, sparing the ghost sex details, but instead of shock, he just asked you if you ere okay.

“Yes! Tommy I’m fine-”

“I dunno, you’re kinda a weird person to begin with, see’n shit wouldn’t be that new-”

“Tommy!” You stand abruptly from his couch,  pulling at your hair. “I’m not seeing- I’m not hallucinating him! You don’t understand, I see him, I see him every fucking day that’s why I don’t go anywhere!”

A sympathetic look crossed his face. “Honey, maybe you’re seeing him because you’re alone every day.”

“I’M NOT CRAZY!!” You shout at him, and he softens. 

“I know, I know.” Tommy stands. “Maybe… maybe you should stay here a few days, maybe this is a yellow wallpaper situation, you gotta get fresh air, a new environment-” he reaches for your arm but you yank it away.

“Does the term ‘don’t go golf’n mean anything to you?”

Confusion crosses his face. “Not really, why?”

A deep breath. “He… I asked how he died, with a ouija board i made and he just said don’t go golfing. Never explained.”

Tommy’s skin paled, the freckles on his face a stark contrast against him. His face a deadly calm. “How did you know that.”

You can’t help but groan. “I told you, he-”

“ENOUGH GAMES!” The sudden shout shocks you, and you step back. Tommy must’ve realized he was scaring you, so he calmed down just a bit. “I’m serious. This isn’t fucking funny.”

Tears of frustration and sadness filled your heart, begging him to believe you. You didn’t think Tommy would hurt you, but the distress he was in was clear. “I wouldn’t joke about this… he- he said it was a joke I wouldn’t get, and I don’t. Tommy please, I’m being serious…”

Then, the realization dawned on him, clear as day. He believed you. “Holy shit. You’re telling the truth…”

“I am.” You sob. “Tommy I swear I’m telling the truth. He needs help, he’s trapped here… we need to help him…”

He was shaking. “C-can I see him?”

It broke your heart to say no. He can only appear to me, I think…He’s tired when you are over…“

Dizzy, Tommy sits down. “He was round… whenever I was over, wasn’t he? That’s why I always feel so calm there…”

You nod. “He calms me too. I don’t know how.” You join him on the couch again. “Tommy, what does don't go golfing mean?”

His face is buried in his hands, and you think he’s crying. It’s a lot, you know, it’ a lot to spring on someone, especially that he can’t hear or see him still, his own brother so close and yet so far. But you were doing this for him, so that he could move on, so that he could see his Sarah in the afterlife.

When Tommy finally looked up, his face and hands were soaking wet.

“He was killed with a golf club. We never told anyone about that.”

*

Joel stood behind you, clear and crystalline, his body practically human. He was cold, but he brought you comfort. “Something on your mind, darl’n?”

You don’t wanna lie to him, but you can’t tell him what’s happening, not yet. You want a few more days without this hanging over you both.

“Tommy left for a few weeks. Just worried.” You didn’t tell him he went to find Ellie, to go back to the farmhouse she lived in with Dina and see if she’s there, if Dina knows where she lives kows anything. To try and convince Ellie that this woman she’s never met his eeing her dad as a ghost and they need to help him move on. But hes gonna try.

A week later, the town was in a ruckus, Tommy returning to Jackson with the prodigal daughter, her girlfriend, and a little boy.

Turns out Ellie went back to Dina, begged for her back on hands and knees, and they’d been living alone out in the country for years raising JJ. They all looked good, healthy, happy… Ellie was skeptical but she agreed to come as a favor to Tommy. Everything was planned for tomorrow, but as you lay in bed with Joel for the last time, you can’t bring yourself to tell him.

You wanted one last night.

Joel kissed you, languid and soft, his hands roamed your naked and prone body and for the first time, you noticed something. A tent in his pants. A ghost had gotten an erection for you.

“Joel…” You moan, feeling him rutt against you.

“I know, I feel it too.” His voice is husky against your ear, and chills flow throughout your body as you realize what this means. Joel was firm, his body fully here and he was hard. Joel could fuck you.

He went feral after that, yanking down your PJ shorts so fast your barely had time to lift your hips, but it didn’t matter. You spread your legs to welcome to fingers the plumged into your body, absolutly dripping for the man laid beside you. Joel’s breath was hot, growling and grunting as e finger fucks you open, preparing you to take his cock for the first time. 

“You’re always s’fucking wet.” He says between sucking kisses on your neck. You didn’t care if he left hickies on you, you were just beyond ecstatic that he was strong enough to leave marks. You wanted him to be with you in some way permanently. “Been wish’n I could feel you since that first day, so sweet, so beautiful, always so ready for my touch.”

You paw at him, groping his body and trying to just get his massive form on top of you. “Need you.” You beg like a needy young thing, like you’d never been fucked properly before, like you needed to be filled and taken and ravaged. 

“I got yuh, darl’n…” Joel murmur, rolling over on top of you, his cock heavy- when had his clothes come off?

Knelt before your body, Joel was magnificent. His body was broad, thick, not quick as barrel chested as his brother, he held it more in the shoulders. Down his chest and stomach held scares, fat, and a trail of hair leading down, down, down to where his cock hung thick and leaking and cut. You forgot he was a ghost; he didn’t feel like one, he felt real. He felt here. Tears filled up in your eyes, and Joel leans over, his body covering yours in his cool skin. 

“What’s wrong, baby?” He asks in a gentle voice, thumbing away a stray tear. “I hope yuh ain’t scared’a me? Are yuh?”

You’ve never been more sure of saying no in your life. “Ain’t scared.” You whisper. “I just… I love you so much…” It wasn’t necessarily a lie. You did love him. But that wasn’t why you were crying, not really anyway. No, you cried because this was goodbye.

Joel’s eyes, black pupils swallowing the beautiful brown with lust, grew wet themselves as he smiles down at you. “I love you too. So damn much.”

Your nails did into his back, relishing in the firm, solid feel of him. This was real. He was real. “Fuck me, please. Make love to me. I want to feel you, really feel you…”

Plush lips kissed you as he slid inside, a wave of calm relaxed your body, allowing you to take his considerable length inside you. He was big, stretching you open slowly while you accommodate him. 

“Fuck, it’s like you’re made for me…” He moans in your ear, desperate like he’s falling apart at one stroke. But he doesn’t. When he fucks you, it’s with more vigor, more energy than you’ve ever felt from a living person, a slap of skin from his hips meeting your thighs, his balls heavy and slapping against your ass, his fingers digging, digging digging so deep inside as you wished he’d bruise you, wished he’d cut you open and crawl inside so he could never leave you, two souls as one. To know and to be known at the deepest level. Souls and bodies barred to each other. Nothing left to hide.

He couldn’t do that, so as Joel slammed his cock into you, you begged for something else. “Mark me.” You whimper, getting a reaction of confusion from your lover, so you take his hand and dig his nails into your tender hips. “I need to know this is real. All of it.” The tears come again when you can see him want to deny you. “This isn’t forever, you know this can’t before but I- Joel I need something to be forever! We can’t get married, you can’t leave me pictures or presents or- or kids, Joel, I need to be able to remember you.”

His movements slow. “Oh, pretty baby…” He murmurs lowly. “I’ll give anything if it means you can’t forget me.” he kisses you deeply, sucking in your tongue and before he pulls away he nips your lip. “Tell me to stop if it’s too much.”

But nothing of Joel could be too much.

A shape gasp as he dug into you, left hand bracing himself on the bed as he never stopped fucking you, rolls of pleasure coured your body like it had tha first night, swirling over your clit and dragging you screaming to the edge. And screaming you were.

“Don’t stop! Don’t stop!” You shout so loud you don’t care who hears you. Half the town thinks you’re fucking Tommy anyway. Don’t stop fucking you, don’t stop marking you, don’t, don’t, don’t go.

You could keep him to yourself. Tell Ellie and Tommy you lied, or that he went away and you can’t see him any more. Anything so that he doesn’t get what he needs, that he stays with you forever.

He’s impossibly deep inside, but in your leaking, dripping channel and into your hip. The cut of his nails goes further than they should go, but you don’t question it. Instead, you focus on the feeling of him marking your flesh, of him making your insides as his as he cums deep in your stomach. Your cunt pulses around him as your draw out whatever he’s filling you with, you don’t care. It’s him. 

“More, more” You cry into his shoulder, but he’s already slowing his thrusts.

“I’m as deep as I can go, baby…” He stays bottomed out inside you, but his hands withdrawal from your side as you come down. His bloody hand cups your face, dripping with your own warmth.

You sob against his cold skin, Joel wrapping you into a hug as the overwhelming emotion of what happened floods you, and it’s too much. You need more, but it’s not him deeper, not him scaring you, and not him filling you up.

It’s more time.

*

You wake up with blood on your face and your wounds cleaned and bandaged, with Joel’s body gone, as it usually is in the morning. It took until the afternoon for him to appear again.

“Sorry baby.” He apoligized, hugging you. “I dunno why I can’t control coming better.” He poked your side, and you knew he meant a double entendre but you didn’t have it in you to laugh.

“It’s okay. Last night used a lot. You probably needed to rest.”

“Yeah…” He touched the bandage he’d put on your hip with soft intent. “How you feel’n bout this?”

You smile. “Great. But Joel…” You turn around to face him, his face frowning with worry. “I gotta tell you something… I told Tommy about you…” Before he has a chance to ask questions, you spill it out. “And he went and found Ellie, she’s hear. I think… I think if you reconcile with her, with Tommy, once the air is cleared… you can move on.”

For a long moment, he stares at you, unmoving, unblinking, frozen as the picture that used to hang on your door. Then he speaks. “You know… that means I can’t see you again, right.”

Damn the tears the spring forth, damn the well of emotions overflowing your body, a trickle of a leak in the damn, then it cracks, and it all breaks. You begin to sob in his arms. “I know, I know… but it’s not right for me to keep you here! You- you said it’s dark, and you’re scared.”

“I ain’t scared when I’m with you…”

“But you won’t always be with me! I need to help you move on! It’s unnatural, it’s wrong, you need to be with Sarah, you need to be at peace knowing Sarah and Tommy love you, that they forgive you!”

He lets you cry, holding you close in strong arms as he realized what was happening. He’d see Ellie again. You were willing to give him up just so he could get his happy end.

His voice in your ear.

“Ellie.”

*

She was skeptical, understandingly. Pretty, short, in her 20’s with brown hair cropped into a pixie and looking annoyed. She sat next to Tommy with her arms crossed and practically glaring at you. 

“I’m gonna need more proof than some golf joke.”

“It was enough to get you here, wasn’t it?”

She rolled her eyes. “I owed Tommy for every fucking time he saved my damn life, that’s why I’m here.” She turned to her uncle. “We’re even, by the way.”

“Sure as shit are.” He sighs, then looks at you. “He here?” 

You gesture to the couch. “Yeah he’s sitting right- hey!”

Ellie swung her hand over where you said Joel was sitting, doing nothing but annoying Joel who tried in vein to smack her away, telling her to cut the shit.

“I don’t fucking feel anything.”

“That’s not how it works Ellie!” Tommy flicked her arm. “Relax.”

With a huff, she crossed her arms again. “Fine.”

Tommy looked to you, then to Joel, then back to you. “Tell her something only Joel would know.”

When you turn to Joel, he’s looking at Ellie with sadness. She looks different, a lot older, yet she’s still Ellie to him. He doesn’t turn to you. ‘David.’ He instructs, and you turn to her.

“Do you know a David?” And suddenly her skin blanches. Ever so slightly, she’s shaking, but then she turns to Tommy. “Did Joel fucking telling you that!?”

From beyond Tommy’s protests that he doesn’t know who Daivid is, did she mean David Turner, who was a local here, or David Sanchez, who died last month in a raid? Joel insists he’d never tell that to anyone, but Ellie can’t hear him.

You try to calm them. “He says he was someone you met after leaving Jackson the first time, that you did the right thing by killing him.”

“Yeah! I fucking did!”

“He says if he goes to hell, David is the first person he’s finding.”

She stops, information processing in her head that there was no way Joel wold have told whoever David was to Tommy. “David tried to rape me when I was 14.” She grits out. “I stabbed him to death and let his body burn up.”

Tommy turns to her, horrified but doesn’t speak.

You nod. “Good.”

And then, she sinks into the couch. “Whenever I had nightmares… Joel always told me David was the first person he’d find in hell. He was convinced he was going there.”

You chuckle. Yeah that sounds like Joel. “He loves you both very, very much… and the uncertainty is what’s keeping him here. I need to help him move on.” 

“So what? You’re some sort of fucking medium?”

“No, I’ve never had anything like this happen before but… He started appearing to me. Little touches, cold spots, breezes… then he started moving things, hearing his voice…. Now I can see him, he’s as clear as you are, honestly.”

Tommy speaks now. “He’s gotta know-” He tries to turn to where you said Joel was, but you can tell he’s struggling to talk to a brown cushion. “You gotta know we love you, don’t know? How can you doubt that?”

‘Tell him I do. But tell him… I don’t know if he forgives me.’

“Joel knows you both love him, but that’s not why he’s stuck. He needs to know you forgive him.”

Ellie is staring sone faced at a wall, but Tommy is looking down at his hands now, this seems easier. “Joel… those things we did… it’s been a long time. I was angry, yeah, I fucking hated you for a while but…” He shakes his head, silver streaks shimmering in the deep brown of his hair. “I got Walker now and… after he was born man, I think I got it. The things we did to survive… you were willing to do some of the worst shit out there, damning your own soul to save me. I’d do the same for my kid, if I needed to.”

‘But I shouldn’t have made you do any of it, Tommy.’

“Joel feels bad that he made you participate.”

“You didn’t make me do fuck’n shit, brother. I was a grown ass man, even if you still thought of me as a reckless teenager. I made my choices, and I understand why you made yours. You lost your baby, I know damn well you couldn’t take lose’n your brother either. I forgive you, but you also gotta forgive yourself, brother.”

Ellie pipes up. “I get it too, Joel. I told you that night, I didn’t know if I could forgive you… telling you I couldn’t… but… UUGHHHH!” She slumps down, covering her face. “Joel I was angry! I was angry and I was stupid but I was a teenager! I was just- just a kid who had these grand schemes of changing the world! But we don’t know if it could’ve worked. But I forgive you, Joel. I was always gonna forgive you, even before you went and fucking left me! I don’t know why I had to do that, why i treated you the way I did-”

‘You were a teenager, that’s normal-’

“But I think about it, every single day I think about it and what I should've said and done better but I get it now. I don’t know what you’ve been told but I got my kid now. I know you’re old man brain is probably trying to work out how two women had a baby-”

Joel laughs, and so does Ellie.

“But it’s Jesse’s. Dina got pregnant before Jesse and her broke up and he… he died. But I’ve been raising him with her the last few years… She took me back… You ask me on the porch that night if she treats me good and Joel…” Ellie sighs, smiling. “She really does.”

‘Tell ‘er I’m glad. That I always liked her, and I wanna know the kids name.’

“Joel says he doesn’t blame you for being mad at him, or how you talked to him. He says he’s glad Dina and you are happy. What’s the babies name?”

Ellie grins, pride in her eyes. “The baby is almost 4 now. His name is JJ. Jesse Joel.”

Tear fill up Joel’s eyes, fatherly love overwhelming him and for a moment, you think how sweet this is, how nice. Then you notice he’s not as clear as he was before.

“Joel!” You rush to his side and take his hand, kneeling at the couch. “Joel, I think it worked… you’re fading…” You try to grip his hand, as if holding on tighter would keep him here with you, keep him ground in this world. Without him, you weren’t sure what you’d do with your life, who you’d talk to or confide in…. But you knew, you knew above all you’d miss him. There would never be another Joel.

‘Please-’ He sounds desperate now, scared even. ‘One more time, tell them I love them, I just- I love them so much fucking much.’

Through your sobs, you relay the message. “He needs you to know how much he loves you guys. He talks about you all the time, he- you’re everything to him.” You see Ellie and Tommy holding hands, Ellie crying and Tommy looking close. 

“We love you, Joel. All of us.” Ellie says, to nowhere in particular.

‘And the kids. Walker and- fuck I ain’t never met JJ but I love him too. If, if there’s a heaven I’m gonna…’ His words start to fade, but you know what he’s saying. His strength is going fast, Joel letting go and passing on, but even still his body shook. He was scared. If there was a heaven, Joel was going, but he wasn’t sure about that.

“He says he loves Walker and JJ, he’s gonna watch over them in heaven”

That breaks Tommy, who lets the tears come now as he takes your hand too, squeezing it tight.

You look up at your lover. “I love you, Joel. I’m always gonna love you, always gonna remember you. It’s gonna be okay, I promise you. We’re gonna be alright, we’re doing okay. You can let go now. It’s okay to let go. There’s no one left you need to protect.. we’re safe.”

Even though he’s fading away Joel looks into your eyes. He can’t speak, his strength fading, but it’s all communicated through those eyes that say so much. One last time, he cups your cheek, and the hand that isn’t holding Tommy’s brushes over the cold fingers, feeling liquid and unstable again. There’s fear in his eyes, mixed with that tender love, but then something changes in him.

Joel looks forward, past you, Tommy and Ellie and onto something else, something more. He smiles. ‘I see her’

All his fear his gone, and his face is peaceful.

For the final time, a breeze rustles your hair, and Tommy and Ellie see it.

Joel is gone, and all you can do is sob into his couch.

*

When it finally subsides you feel numb. Ellie and Tommy have joined you on the floor, the three of you talking about the experience you shared together, something no one will ever believe. 

“His last words were, ��’I see her’....”

Tommy whispers Sarah’s name, and you nod. 

“He’s with her now. He’s a peace. I know a better place is a cliche, but…” Ellie wipes her tears. “We all know how much he missed her.”

Everyone nods solemnly, and for a while, you stay there, talking about Joel, memories and his jokes and his cooking. It was nice to share this secret with other, and suddenly you felt less alone in it. They believed your stories of the ghost in your walls, and they liked hearing the knew things he told you. You liked learning more of his past.

Eventually, everyone had to get back to their families. You were alone, but you didn’t feel lovely. Something had shifted, a closeness to Ellie and Tommy that didn’t scare you the way human connection used to. Maybe you would go to the mess hall, see some movies. Your patrol partner was quiet, but nice. Tommy was still around, and Ellie and Dina decided to pack up their things and return, wanting JJ to have friends. It was going to be okay, and as the sun set on the day, somehow you felt it rise on your life. A new, beautiful world of opportunities for friendship and love was out there.

You stared in the mirror, butt naked, feeling strangely open and vulnerable despite being alone for the first time in months.

It all felt surreal, something that seemed impossible, that went against every logical explanation.

But when you took off the bandage on your hip to change it, there they were, clear as day. 4 crescent fingernail cuts deep into your skin, something that would scar forever.

No matter what happened, you’d always carry these with you, proof that Joel and your love for him was real.

I cried pretty good writing tht end, knowing its my goodbye. I want yall to know I love each and every reader so so so so much. You mean the world to me. every kind word lives on in me forever. I hope you'll stay for my other writing, but if not, thats okay! I wih all of you the best.

Please be kinder to each other. the fanfic writers do this for free, they do not deserve the things they've experienced here. It is a beautiful world out there.

Trust me, it feels way better to send anon love rather than anon hate. I wont be writing tlou for a minute but ill return with a tommy series !!!!

follow @romana-after-dark for dark content and @riley-blue-byron for upcoming original works!

So long, and thanks for all the fish <3

reblogs are greatly appriciated, would make a nice send off <3

@princessanglophile @missladym1981 @goodwithcheese @dancinglotusbud @glitterymanboy @koshkaj-blog @sixhours @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @fandxmslxt69 @miraclesabound

[archangeldyke-all]

little fucker being like elementary school age and asking sevika to take her to the daddy daughter dance at school? 🥺

ooooh my god 🥹 (inspo pics for little fucker's dress and sevika's suit)

men and minors dni

your daughter's been quiet all evening.

when she got home from school, instead of rushing to the couch to watch tv or outside to play in the yard, she just sat down and got to work on her homework. usually, you have to remind her to do her work a million times.

when sevika got home from work, instead running and jumping in her mom's arms as a welcome home greeting, giggling as sevika pretends to throw her back out; little fucker just waved from her spot working at the table.

when you made your baby's favorite meal for dinner and she didn't even smile; you knew something was off.

little fucker's eight now, one of the smartest third graders in her class. you've noticed the very beginning signs of a pre-teen's attitude growing in your daughter: a little more sassy back talk that usual, more frequent mood swings; but this seems different than all of that.

still. your girl takes after sevika, and as much as you want to pry and ask her what's wrong: you know she'll come to you when she finds her words and is ready to talk.

she's quiet when you tuck her into bed.

when you and sevika finally settle in to sleep, she turns on her side with a worried expression.

"she say anything to you?" your wife asks. you shake your head no, pouting.

"poor baby."

sevika sighs, and pulls you into her chest.

an hour later, you're woken up by your daughter crawling into bed between the two of you.

"baby?" you mumble, shifting to make room for your girl. little fucker sighs as she crawls under the blankets. on her other side, sevika grunts in her sleep, subconsciously reaching out to pull her baby to her chest.

"hi ma..." little fucker mumbles. you reach out in the darkness, finding your daughters head and starting to scratch her scalp.

"what's goin' on, kiddo?" you whisper.

she sighs. "there's a daddy-daughter dance happening at school next week."

"oh." you whisper.

you've always known that having two moms makes your daughter a bit different from most of the kids she knows. since she was a baby, you and sevika have done your best to explain things to her in a way she can understand: that your family looks a bit different than others, that there are people out there who won't understand that, and that those facts don't make the love in your family any different or less than the love in every other family in the world.

still. your heart breaks a bit in moments like these, when your baby so clearly feels excluded.

you reach forward and kiss your girl's head, trying to find words to comfort her.

you don't have to-- little fucker speaks again before you can start fussing.

"ma, do you think..." she trails off. you kiss her head again to let her know you're listening. "do you think mommy would take me?" she whispers.

your heart swells with pride and you nearly burst into tears. "oh, my sweet, smart, beautiful girl." little fucker giggles as you pepper her head with kisses. "of course she would."

you actually do cry the next morning watching your daughter ask your wife to the daddy-daughter dance over breakfast; shyly handing her mom the flier she'd put in her school binder, asking if sevika'd go with her.

sevika holds it together enough to say yes, hug your baby, and send her off to catch her school bus. when the front door slams, sevika turns around with tears streaming down her cheeks.

"oh, baby." you coo, wrapping your wife up in a hug. sevika sobs in your shoulder and you laugh-- your wife's only ever this weepy about her girl.

"she's so fucking sweet." sevika cries. "where the fuck did she get that from?" she asks.

you pinch her ass and tsk. "uh, she got it from me, you ass."

sevika chuckles a snotty laugh against your shoulder, and you kiss her head.

you take your girls outfit shopping that weekend. little fucker's giddy the entire time, trying on dresses and modeling each one for you and sev: her catwalks down the dressing-room hall getting increasingly ridiculous as she tries to make you guys laugh.

she falls in love with a beautiful light blue dress, a ribbon around the waist separating the simple tank-like top from the flouncy, fluffy skirt of tulle.

"you look like cinderella!" you gasp. your daughter grins, twirling around and giggling as the skirts spin with her.

"i'm a princess!"

sevika's a much less enthusiastic shopper, but with her daughter there to encourage her, and a soft cinnamon pretzel shoved in her hands, she manages to find a suit that matches her baby's dress.

the night before the dance, you catch little fucker in her dress in her room, practicing her dancing with her big teddy bear.

that night when you and sevika are tucking her in, she asks for you to stay behind for a while. sevika shoots you a look and you shrug, just as confused by your daughter's request.

when the door clicks shut behind her mom, little fucker reaches out and holds your hand. "what happens if they don't let mommy in?" she asks. you should be saddened by the fact that your daughter has to worry about bullshit like this so young. but you can't hold in your cackle at your baby's question. "what?" she asks, scowling at you. "what's so funny?"

"oh baby." you giggle, trying to collect yourself and wiping tears from your cheeks. it's moments like this when you remember that your daughter knows a completely different sevika than you do: she only ever sees sevika's soft adoring smile, only ever hears 'yes' from her mom's lips. she's got no idea that her mom is scary to most people. "your mom's not gonna let anybody ruin your night, sweet girl. i think she's more excited than even you are." you promise her.

and you're right. when you slip back into your bedroom after kissing your baby goodnight again, you catch your wife in her suit, watching a youtube tutorial on how to slow dance.

you take about a million pictures of your girls the next night. little fucker's decked out in all her shiniest dress-up jewelry, a white sequined purse hanging off her tiny wrist. (containing one mini bag of cheetos, sevika's tube of brown lipstick, and a sheet of reptile stickers.)

sevika's on the brink of tears the entire time they pose in her little garden out back, blinking down at your kid adoringly. you know exactly what she's thinking the entire time: little fucker is growing up way too fast.

"you gonna be able to keep it together tonight?" you tease as you hug your wife goodbye. she chuckles.

behind her, little fucker's squirming with excitement as she waits on the front porch for you two to finish talking.

"i'll be fine. will you?" she asks. "all alone without your babies to keep you company?"

little fucker starts tugging on sevika's hand, trying to drag her to the car. "mom."

you snort. "i'm thinking i'll take a nice, long, quiet bubble bath. haven't had one of those since the shithead was born."

"mommy." little fucker groans.

"send pictures." sevika says with a wink. you snort.

"mom, let's go already!" your daughter whines.

you let the pair of them go, choking back tears as you wave goodbye.

throughout the night, sevika sends you a million pictures. from the looks of things, little fucker and all her friends had way too much fruit punch and cake, all dancing their tiny butts off-- sweating and giggling and high on a sugar buzz.

when they get home both of them are exhausted and grinning, little fucker rambling on and on about how much fun she had. "i had three pieces of cake, ma! and they were huge! and one was chocolate! and me and cindy taught mommy and cindy's dad how to do the floss!" she says, demonstrating the dance move. you cackle, then turn to sevika with a raised eyebrow, wanting to see the new skill she's learnt. she glares at you. but the second little fucker tugs her hand and giggles a "c'mon mommy!" she starts doing the dance in sync with her baby.

that night, after little fucker crashes in her bed with her dress still on and you and sevika crawl into bed, you get a text from one of the dad's you're on the pta with.

it's a picture of sevika and little fucker (your daughter clearly rambling about something as sevika listens with a fond smile) wrapped in each other's arms, slow dancing.

you make the picture your phone's background.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@shimtarofstupidity @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @realgreeniebeanie @k3n-dyll

@sevsdollette @ellieslob

[jpmarvel90]

Don't Belong part 2

Masterlist Natasha Masterlist

Part 1

Word Count: 5499

Relationship: Mother WandaNat x Daugher Reader

Summary: After Y/n's accident on her mission, her mother's are terrified that they might not get the chance to make things right with their daughter. That's assuming Y/n wants anything to do with them when she comes around.

Nat: Mama Wanda: Mom

Nat's POV:

It's been over 24 hours since Y/n came out of surgery and she's still unconscious with a machine helping her breathe. I thought she would have been awake by now and there'd be a relief that she was on the start of her long road to recovery.

Instead, Wanda and I are glued to our seats next to her bed. We've only gotten up to use the bathroom. Otherwise, we've remained by her side. Pepper kindly offered to take the boys for as long as it's needed. Though they are both very anxious to see Y/n themselves. They might be young, but they understand that she's hurt. They love their sister, and they want her to wake up just as much as we do.

I've not slept since we found out that she was hurt, and I don't plan to until she is awake. Though the longer it goes on, the more my body is fighting against that desire. I want to be there when she wakes up to show her that her moms are going to be there for her the whole way through her recovery.

Wanda and I have spoken a lot over the last day. We've shared our pain and sadness, whilst making sure we come up with a plan to help her with her recovery and to ultimately gain her forgiveness.

We both know that Y/n will not forgive us easily, if at all. But that doesn't mean that we're not going to try with everything in us. For too long we've allowed her to go about her life thinking that we don't love or care for her anymore. She has every right to feel that way after how we've treated her. But she will not ever question that again.

The both of us are sat in silence, both of us watching over our daughter. My eyes are trained on her chest, making sure that she is still breathing, gaining a lot of comfort from the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest. However, the silence doesn't last long until the door flies open.

Out of instinct, both Wanda and I shoot up from our seats and take a defensive stance in front of our daughter to protect her from any danger. However, we soon relax when we see Yelena's worried face. "I came as soon as I could." She tells us as she moves closer to the bed, her hand hesitant as it reaches out towards her niece.

Yelena has been away for most of the time over the last few years. She's been helping to find all the widows and has only come back for a couple of days at a time. Each time though, she has always made time for us. "How is she?" She asks, as I pull up another chair for my sister.

"It's not good. She's still in critical condition. They had to remove part of her liver, but Cho reckons that if she can get through these first few days, that she'll be on track for a full recovery." I fill her in as her eyes never leave Y/n. "Clint said that it was a double agent that set her up." She states and we nod in clarification. "I'll be paying a visit to Fury when I'm done here." She announces, an anger to her voice. "We've tried to see him, but Fury won't let us anywhere near him." Wanda warns her but Yelena just scoffs. "I'll get to him one way or another." She states and I believe her. She's incredibly protective of the people she loves, and she'll want to make sure that he pays. I actually hope that she does.

"Wait, you said you were with Clint?" I question her and she nods. "Yeah, he was with me on my last mission. He's waiting outside, he didn't want to intrude." She responds, pointing towards the window behind her where Clint is stood with a young girl next to him. "Who's with him?" I ask. "Kate Bishop. Clint's stray. He's going to see if she can join Shield." Yelena explains. "She was with us and had no where else to go so I said she could stay here for now." She adds on. If Clint thinks she's worthy of Shield, then I believe that she is. She must also be good if Yelena has been working with her. She wouldn't let anyone help who would slow her down.

"How long are you back for?" Wanda steps in with her own question, making my own ears prick up for her response. "As long as I need to be. I want to be around to help with her recovery." Yelena replies, making me smile. Y/n is going to need all the help she can get, and she adores Yelena, so I'm glad that she's not going anywhere any time soon.

After a while, we indicate for Clint and Kate to come in. We go through our introduction, and I can see how enthusiastic Kate is. She's very chatty and I'm surprise she's not pissed off Clint and Yelena yet though! "I read about Y/n in the Young Initiative files." Kate shares. "Did you know she is the only recruit to ever get a perfect score. She could have passed the exams two years ago and still topped the class." She tells us enthusiastically. "Sounds like you're a fan." Yelena teases her, making the young girl blush. "I guess when your parents are the Black Widow and the Scarlett Witch, you're going to be good." Kate chuckles.

It makes my gaze drop, something that Yelena clocks on to instantly. She's not been around so hasn't seen how we've treated Y/n. I'm actually worried for when I tell her. She's going to hate us for it and I'd be surprised if she even lets us stay around Y/n. "Y/n did it all on her own. With a little help from Steve. Her talent has come from her own ability and desire to be the best." Wanda corrects Kate, showing that we have no claim to how good Y/n is at being an agent. "Oh, that's even more impressive then. You must be really proud." She smiles at us and we both nod. "More than she'll ever know." I mutter.

__________

When Kate and Clint leave, Yelena is quick to question Wanda and I. We tell her of what's been going on and how ashamed we are and how much we want to be able to fix everything. "You don't deserve to fix it." She spits angrily at us. "It's no excuse to say that you got lost in the boys. Y/n is your daughter too and she needed you." She shouts, calling us both out on our actions. "We know Yelena. We can't take back how we've treated her. But I promise that we won't every do anything like that again!" I tell her sincerely. "No, you won't. I won't let you. If you are going to be back in her life as the parents you should have been, you have to be all in. You promised to be better than we had Natasha!" She tells me firmly with a finger jabbing into my chest.

"I know Yelena. I wish I had a valid excuse or reason for what we did. I will never forgive myself. I will always have a hatred towards myself for ever making her feel the way we did. But I'm not going to wallow and hide away from it. I want to own up to the mistake and try and fix it. I know that it's not going to be an easy fix, but I will stay here and face the brunt of the anger and pain that she's feeling because I will not give up on her. Not again." I tell her passionate. "Neither of us will. I promise you Yelena, we will do everything in our power to fix this." Wanda steps up and adds her own promise, taking my hand. At least we have each other through all of this.

Yelena doesn't speak, she just looks between the two of us, her chest heaving with anger. It's intimidating to be the one on the receiving end, but we deserve it. I'm glad that Yelena is here. She simple nods her head and that is the subject over with. For now.

That night, my body ultimately wins, and I end up getting a couple of hours sleep. Though it's full of nightmares that I can't seem to escape and then when I wake up, I'm terrified that Y/n will be awake already and I'll have missed it. But when my body wakes with a jolt, I'm met with my sleeping wife and still unconscious daughter.

I stretch out and move closer to the bed and take Y/n's bruised hand in my own. "I can't lose you. You are my daughter, blood or not and I love you so much. I know I haven't shown that to you and there is no excuse for that. I also know that you have every right to never forgive me. So, my only request, is please wake up. Please survive. I don't think I can live in a world without you in it." I plead with her. Hoping that somewhere in her subconscious she can hear me. I squeeze her hand, hoping for any response, but nothing comes.

The day goes by slower than usual. That is until Cho comes in to check on Y/n and gives us the good news that she should be able to breathe without the ventilator now. Wanda and I step outside as we watch through the window. We're holding on to each other tightly as we watch. "This is good. She's strong and this is the first step to her waking up." Wanda speaks. I can hear the hesitation in her voice, showing that she is trying to convince herself more than anything. "You're right. She is so strong. I know she's going to wake up soon." I add on, smiling at my wife.

Cho soon joins us with a smile. "She's doing well. She's now breathing easily on her own. I expect she'll wake up within a few hours. I'll be back to do a full examination then so we can assess her injuries." She informs us. I feel a sense of relief wash over me. Hopefully it won't be long until our daughter is back with us.

The next couple of hours seems to drag by. Clint, Yelena and Kate all paid another visit but left to try and sort a room out for Kate in the compound. Steve was then the next to join us, taking a seat at the end of Y/n's bed. It's a long wait until we finally see a twitch to Y/n's eye.

I'm the first to my feet, leaning over to see if I had imagined the small movement. "Y/n, honey. It's mama. Can you hear me?" I ask her, fighting off the tears threatening to fall. With a flutter, her blues eyes lock on to mine. "She squeezed my hand." Wanda says excitedly. "Baby, we're here." She tells Y/n, who's got a confused look in her eyes.

"You're in the medical wing sweetheart. You got shot on your mission." I explain to her. "S-t-Steve." She stutters out. "He's fine. He's here." I reassure her, waving for Steve to come closer. "Hey kiddo. Boy we're glad to see you awake." He tells her with a relived smile. One that she returns. "I'll got and get Dr Cho." Wanda states, quickly leaving the room. "T-the m-mission." Y/n starts but Steve is quick to stop her. "Is not to worry about right now. Just know it wasn't your fault. But we'll explain it when you're doing better." He tells her, earning a nod. She reaches out her hand to Steve and he instantly takes it. "You're not allowed to scare us like that again." He chuckles, his voice wavering.

"S-sorry." She replies, her eyes fluttering again. "It's ok sweetheart. Don't fight it if you want to sleep again." I tell her softly. She doesn't really acknowledge me, but she does seem to listen as her eyes flutter shut once again.

They don't stay closed for long though, soon woken up by Cho as she comes in with a wide smile. "There's my favourite patient." She smiles at Y/n, who grins in return. "I bet you s-say that to e-everyone." Y/n responds through a struggled chuckle. "But with you I actually mean it." Cho winks, before looking over Y/n's chart and obs.

She takes the time to explain Y/n's injuries to her and the plan for her recovery. I see her face drop when she realises she's going to be in the hospital for at least another week before being on strict bed rest when she's discharged. "I'll be around if you need anything or have any questions. So please get one of the nurses to get me if you need me. That goes for all of you." Dr Cho offers. "Thank you. For everything." I tell her sincerely. She gives me a tightly smile before turning on her heel and leaving the three of us too it.

With Cho gone, it's silent in the med bay as Wanda, Steve and I just watch over Y/n. She is struggling to keep her eyes open, but I can see a pain in them when they lock on to mine. "You should get some rest kiddo." Steve speaks up as Y/n nods in return. "W-will you s-stay?" She asks, making Steve smile widely. "Of course." He returns, moving to get another chair to sit with us. At that confirmation, Y/n seems comfortable enough to let her eyes close and for sleep to take back over.

It's almost agony to see her asleep once again. We've been waiting for so long for her to wake up, for her to be asleep so soon is tough. I almost want to start apologising and showing her that we're going to change and it's going to stick. But I don't want to overwhelm her. At the moment, her recovery is the most important thing. As much as I hate it, earning her forgiveness will have to wait.

"Now she's awake, you two should head to your apartment. See the twins, eat some proper food, and get some sleep. I can stay with her." Steve offers, but I'm quick to decline. "I don't want to leave her." I tell him, whilst gripping her hand tighter, my eyes not leaving her sleeping form. Steve lets out a sigh. "She'll be asleep for a while, and she needs you both on top form." He tells us.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and look up to see Wanda smiling warmly at me. I hadn't even noticed that she had moved from the other side of the bed. "Steve's right. We've been here for days. If we want to do what's right by Y/n, then we need to look after ourselves as well." She speaks sense.

With a huff I stand from my seat and lean forward to press a kiss to Y/n's head. "We'll be back later sweetheart. I love you so much." I tell her softly then move so that Wanda can say goodbye too. With one last look to our daughter, we both reluctantly leave. Though I smile when I see Steve move closer and take Y/n's hand in his own. Although I will forever regret how we have treated Y/n, I'm glad that she has had Steve there for her.

Y/n's POV:

Well, that was not how I wanted my first mission to go. I wanted to impress everyone, not end up in the med bay with part of my liver missing! Waking up was a weird experience. Seeing my parents' faces were the last thing I expected to see. They seem genuinely worried, but that was probably all a front for everyone else. They can't be seen to not care about the daughter they've ignored for the last few years.

When I wake up next, I see Steve smile down at me. "You're still here." I say and he nods. "Of course. I wanted to make sure that you're ok." He replies, making my own smile grow. I look around and my smile drops when I see that my moms aren't here. I can't hide that it hurts a little that they didn't stick around. But I shouldn't care about that. They haven't cared about me.

"Should have guessed they would go once I woke up." I complain, wincing as I try to adjust myself in bed. "Careful Y/n/n." Steve scolds me as he shoots to his feet to help adjust my pillows. "I told them to go." He admits and I look at him with a frown. "Not like that. But they have not left your side since you were brought in. They weren't looking after themselves and if they are going to help you through your recovery, they need to be at 100%" He explains but I just scoff.

"I don't need their help with my recovery. They didn't care before I was hurt, they don't get to care now." I groan. Steve takes his seat again and looks at me with his, "I know I'm right" look. "Y/n. I know you don't believe it, but they do care for you. They were cut up when you got hurt. They were devastated that they wouldn't have the chance to be able to make things up to you." He says. I roll my eyes, but he continues. "Look, I'm not saying you have to forgive them. But you can't question how much they have cared for you over the last few days."

"Fine, but I'm not going back to their place to recover." I huff, folding my arms. "Considering you've been shot and in a medically induced coma for the last few days, it's good to see it hasn't affected your attitude." Steve teases.

We sit in silence as I think about my parents. They surely can't think that just because they've been sat beside my bed whilst I've been hurt is going to make up for everything that they have done over the years? Who's to say that they won't go back to how they were once I'm healed? I have a place at Sheild now. Somewhere that I can make a name for myself and create my own family.

"I'm sorry I messed up the mission." I break the silence, my mind now moving on to the fact I failed at my first mission. "You didn't fail anything kiddo. We were set up. If anything, I should apologise to you. They were after me, but you were the one to get hurt. You did a great job of take on as many agents as you did." He explains, taking my hand in his. "You fought, and it's because of your skill and ability that you're alive. You impressed everyone." He assures me, running his thumb over my bruised knuckles.

Our moment is broken when my moms walk back in. "You're awake!" Mom says excitedly as both her and mama move into the room quickly. Steve moves back from my side, which I frown at as mama takes my hand in hers. I'm quick to pull it away. The hurt that flashes across her face doesn't go unnoticed, but I'm not in the mood to pretend like everything is ok right now.

"How are you feeling?" Mom asks, appearing to my left. "I'm fine." I respond shortly, receiving a warning raised eyebrow from Steve. "Are you in pain? I can get the nurse to come in and get you some pain killers." Mom fusses. "I'm fine." I repeat the same words. "That's not true, you've been wincing since you've woken up." Steve rats me out. Traitor. "If a 40 calibre bullet went through you, I'm sure you'd be wincing too." I snap. "Told you. Amazing how your attitude hasn't changed." Steve chuckles.

However, both my mom's look at me with worried looks. "I'm going to get Dr Cho. You look pale." Mom worries before rushing out the room.

Mama reaches forward and places her hand on my head, which I quickly try and move away from her touch. "You're hot. I hope you're not running a fever." She states. "Like you care." I mumble, but she hears it and that look of hurt appears on her face again. "Look Y/n. I know you believe that we don't care or love you. But that couldn't be further from the truth. I want nothing more than to talk to you about it and start to make up for everything. But right now, all that matters is your recovery. You can hate us and ignore us or yell at us, but we are not going anywhere." She states firmly, her eyes locked on to mine. I just roll my eyes and turn to look at Dr Cho who has walking into the room.

She checks me over and I notice the frown on her face. "What's up?" I question. "I'm worried about your temperature. I want to run some tests, but with the inflammation to your incision, I'm worried you've got an infection. It's nothing to worry about as we've caught it early. But we'll need to keep a close eye on you." She replies. "So, no discharge yet then." I huff.

Cho chuckles and looks up from my chart. "It's funny you think you were close even without this infection." She teases. "Aren't you meant to be nice to me? I'm a patient after all." I pout. "If I'm on good behaviour, can I get out early?" I plead. "Maybe in a week. But you'll be on strict bed rest and need to be cared for. You're still technically a minor." Cho breaks the news and I know exactly what she's getting at. "But I'm 18 in like 4 days! Besides, I literally got shot on a mission for Shield. Surely that's enough?" I argue.

"Y/n, you are going to struggle to walk, let alone be able to properly look after yourself. Even after you're 18, you'll need support during your recovery. It isn't a simple road ahead for you." Dr Cho returns. "So, what are you saying?" I get straight to the point. "I'm recommending that you are discharged to your family. You'll be in the compound so if anything goes wrong, you can get the right medical attention straight away." She explains. "Really? There are no other options. Can't I stay with Steve or something?" I ask but she shakes her head.

"Y/n, come on. It's what is best for you. Your moms will be there to help. I'll be away on missions so can't give you the care you need." Steve speaks up, but soon shrinks back as I glare at him. "Really, what makes you think that I'll get the care I need at home?" I growl, my anger building. "Y/n..." Mama starts but I cut her off. "No! You can't just stand there and act like the caring parents when you have done nothing to back that claim up. I've been the forgotten daughter for years! Slowly I have been pushed out this family and now you want me to just act like everything is ok and trust that you'll look after me?!" I yell, that frustration finally finding its way out.

"Y/n, you need to calm down. Your heartrate is getting too high." Dr Cho tries to calm me down. "Kiddo. You're ok. You need to give them a chance." Steve tries to reason. "A chance like I was given? I've practically raised myself these last few years!" I snap. Why is he suddenly defending them?!

"Please sweetheart. You're going to make yourself sicker. We want to be there for you. We're not denying how badly we've treated you. But I promise that it will never happen again. You'll be safe with us. We just want to be able to care for you and help you get to full health." Mama speaks, her eyes filled with tears. I look between her, and mom and I see that she's almost inconsolable. "Do I have a choice?" I sigh, turning to Cho. "Technically, yes. But physically, you won't be able to follow through with it." She breaks the bad news. Suddenly the sounds of my heart monitor becomes noticeable so I lie back and take a couple of deep breaths. I can feel all their eyes on me, and I let out a sigh. "Fine whatever." I respond. I just need to do everything that Cho tells me so I can heal as fast as possible and move back to Shield and start my life again.

__________

The next few days are not fun. My infection hit me pretty hard, and I spent a lot of time either sweating or freezing whilst fighting the urge to throw up. I hate being stuck in this bed and I just want to be healthy again and being able to go on missions. Before it went south, I was loving it. Even if it was just a small one.

I'm also finding it hard that my mothers are suddenly around all the time. Mama is much better at not smothering me. Mom on the other hand, she is always fussing. But that's her and I used to love it when I was younger, when she actually cared about my wellbeing. "Wands, she's already said she has enough pillows." Mama sighs, her own frustrations growing. "Yes, sorry you did." Mom apologises, slowly putting the pillow down she had in her hands.

"Can I get you anything else? Some food. Though the food here is pretty horrible. When you're back home, I'll make sure to cook you something tasty with the food you're allowed to eat." She starts to ramble. I'm not going to lie, that does sound amazing, and I'd kill for a bowl of paprikash right now. I remember when mom taught me how to cook it. It was one of the last memories I have of us spending quality time together.

I don't realise I'm smiling until I see both my parents looking at me warmly. I quickly shake it off, not wanting to let them think that I'm enjoying this in the slightest. "You know what. A sandwich would be good." I say, taking them both by surprise. I've not been very talkative, but I could do with a break right now. I know I won't be able to get rid of both of them, but I can at least take a break from mom fussing.

"Of course. I'll go and make you something up and bring it down. The bread is always dry here." She speaks, grabbing a couple of things and turning to leave. "Maybe I'll check with Cho if you could have a smoothy." She mumbles, making mama chuckle as she leaves.

I let out a breath of relief. I feel slightly less suffocated. But I am still very aware of mama's eyes boring into me. I'm used to her being quiet. She always observes, making her conclusions before talking when it's necessary. But seeing her now, it feels different. I'm pretty good at reading people and I can tell that she is lost in her own thoughts. I've only seen her like it a couple of times before and it's been after particularly difficult missions. Ones that bring up bad memories for her.

I grab the TV remote and try and find something to watch. I end up with Rizzoli and Isles on. I don't really watch it, but the sound is helping to break the awkward silence. Just after they break the case in the show, I notice mama sit more upright in her seat.

"When I found you in Hydra, I knew instantly that I wanted to help you. There was something about you that melted my heart. When we found out that you had no family to return you to, it wasn't even a question, I knew I was going to adopt you. In that short space of time, I had spent with you, I grew to love you." She starts. I don't look to her, my focus on the TV.

"Even though you had been through so much, you had this happiness around you. You were grateful for everything and found the joy in the smallest thing. I just wanted to give you a life that you deserved. When I married Wanda, I was so happy that I could give you two loving parents." From the corner of my eye, I can see her smile tearily as she picks at the skin around her fingers.

"I failed you Y/n. When I adopted you, I promised that I would be the best parent to you. That you would never want for anything. What's worse, is I never even noticed what I was doing. What we were both doing. I've always prided myself on being able to read people, but I couldn't see the damage I was doing to my own daughter." She continues, pain evident in her voice.

"I wish I could go back in time to change how we acted with you. To include you fully with the twins, to support you in your work in the Shield Programme. To show that even with the boys, you were loved and an integral part of this family. All I can do is apologise and promise that we are not going to let that happen again." She finishes, finally look up to me, a couple of tears falling down her cheeks.

"It's been years. We're not just talking about a couple of months here." I speak up, still not able to lock eyes with her. "Steve became more of a parent for me than the two of you." I admit, and that seems to make mama's heart break a little more. "Is it because I'm not biologically yours and moms?" I ask, my voice shaking.

Mama is quickly to her feet and takes my hand in between both of hers. "No. Of course not Detka, and I will forever hate myself that I've allowed you to think otherwise." She tries to reassure me, a panic in her eyes. "I wish I could give you a reason for why we acted like we did. Initially, it was because we were so focused on the boys, but after that, I have no idea. I wish I could pinpoint why, maybe it would make this all easier. I know you probably don't believe it, but I love you as much as those boys. Blood doesn't matter to me. You are my daughter as much as they are my sons. I know and feel that through every fibre of my body." She expresses. The sincerity is evident in both her voice and facial expressions. "Saying sorry isn't going to fix this. You only knew what you were doing because I called you out on it. Had I not gotten shot, would you have made any effort to rectify what was wrong?" I question her, my anger growing.

"We wanted to. We were planning on taking you to breakfast to talk and work out a way that we could make things right with you. But you had gone, and we couldn't get to you. You have a lot of people at Sheild that love you." She chuckles humourlessly. That is true. Maria is like an aunt to me and her and Fury happily kept my room allocation secret, "Look, I know that we don't deserve your forgiveness, but it doesn't mean that we are going to stop trying." She states firmly.

"It's not that simple mama. I have learnt to live without you now and I've got my own place with Shield. We can both move on with you getting your perfect biological family and I get the career I want." I say, but that only makes mama cry more. "No, our family is only perfect if you are in it too!" She almost shouts, but she's quick to calm herself down. "Look, we've got to live together through your recovery, let's just see how things go after that ok." She proposes. "Fine, but I can't promise anything will change." I respond and she nods. "I know. But I'm going to try everything to earn your forgiveness." She comes back with a newfound confidence.

We fall back into a silence, one that feels more comfortable. Mama looks less stressed, but her brow is still furrowed. When mom returns, the quiet is broken again, despite mama trying to get her to calm down. I try not to smile when she tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear. I miss this caring side of my parents so much. But for me, it's too little, too late.

Part 3

Taglist: @reggierizzoli @ordelixx @mousetheorist

[fandoms--fluff]

Hellooooo sorry to bother you but do you think can right one of Katherine Pirces were she has a baby girl y/n and she’s like 4 months old and the salvatores brothers finds out about her they use her to take Katherine dawn but they don’t now that she ask the originals but specifically Elijah help to save ther daughter

Mama's Girl

Baby daughter reader x mom Katherine Pierce

Warnings: kidnapping,

A/n: I made a few tweaks in it, by making Elijah the father, but I hope you like it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katherine picks you up from your playpen which has two fluffy blankets and some stuffed animals. "You hungry baby girl?" Katherine smiles as you babble while nuzzling your head into her chest. "I'll take that as a yes" She kisses the top of your head before sitting down on the black leather couch beside the playpen.

She holds you with one arm and as the her other hand pulls a part of her black shirt down, releasing one of her breasts. She coaxes your head toward her full breast until you easily latch on. As you drink your mama's milk, she holds you protectively in her arms.

She doesn't know how the hell she had gotten pregnant, considering she's been dead a very long time. And it wasn't just her child, you, actually was growing inside her, but her body also changed for how it would when any other woman would be pregnant. ex. she produces breast milk. She's still confused but doesn't ask why anymore, just grateful that you're her baby.

The only two people who know about you are; Elijah and Kol Mikaelson. Kol saw Katherine walking around a park a couple towns over, obviously pregnant. He then later that day asked his big brother how he had managed to knock up Katherine, assuming that Elijah and she had hooked up. And he wasn't entirely wrong, Kol just doesn't need to know that. Elijah went over to her house and confronted her, they had a long conversation, deciding it was best to keep you a secret.

Or so she thought, not taking into account the two Salvatore brothers are staked out, across the road.

"How did Katherine get a baby? and she's caring? what the hell" Stefan says, turning over to his older brother.

"Well, baby bro, when two adults think it's time, they decide to start having se-" Stefan cut him off, "I didn't mean like that!" Stefan groaned.

"Whatever, this is our chance to have something to finally take the vampire bitch slut, down," Damon says, getting out of the car. Stefan sighs before following Damon down the road.

Damon explains the plan he made to Stefan, which they put into action.

Katherine looks up, something seems off. Before she can get a second thought, the front door is knocked off it's hinges and vervain grenades are thrown in. Getting into a coughing fit from the toxic herb, she sees a figure of someone coming over to her with a mask.

As soon as he gets close to her, Damon snatches you out of Katherine's arms and speeds out of the house. Katherine quickly stands up, adjusting her top back, but before she can go after him in a weakened state, someone grabs her from behind. The second person, Stefan, wraps his left arm around her neck until she can no longer breathe in air, passing out quickly from the vervain still in the air.

Stefan lets her drop back onto the couch and walks back outside, peeling the mask off his face. "Now what?" He asks Damon, watching as he tries to make you stop crying. His attempts are proven useless, making you cry louder about being taken away from your mama.

"Oh come on, can't you be quiet, you're going to make a scene with how loud you are" Damon whisper yells at you.

Being a baby and not understanding anything he's obviously saying, you just scream louder.

The brothers quickly get into Damon's car with you, Stefan having to hold you, insisting to Damon it's not a good idea to just throw you in the backseat and hope for the best. He drives off before Katherine has a chance to reawaken.

Coughing, Katherine slowly opens her eyes. The light shining through the windows tells her it's still daytime. Recollecting her memories of what had happened while she stands up makes her freeze. She quickly vamped around the entire house, not finding her baby, you, anywhere.

Damon and Stefan, the two names that come to her mind. They took you. All she can do is pace back and forth, a look of murder in her eyes. But she has to play this smart, if she just goes crashing in there alone, she's more than sure that there'll be everyone there. They'll obviously be expecting that.

She goes to the coffee table where her phone still lays from earlier and dials a number.

"Katerina, how are you doing?" Elijah's smooth voice emits from the phone as he picks up.

"Not well, considering the Salvatores found out about y/n, came crashing in, took her, and now are probably thinking of ways to take advantage of our daughter against me" Katherine exclaims, having no time for small talk.

Elijah's eyes widen and he reassures her everything is going to be okay and to meet her in the woods by the boarding house. Katherine follows his instructions clearly and immediately leaves the house.

Katherine gets to the woods in record time, she looks around before feeling a hand on her shoulder. She quickly turns around, ready for a fight. Though it's just Elijah.

"My apologies," Elijah says.

He starts explaining his plan of what they're to do. Katherine follows every bit and nods before heading to the back of the house, out of sight from anyone inside.

While she hides out back, Elijah goes to the front door. He knocks a few times before Damon opens the door. He gives a suspicious look towards the original.

"I believe this is the part where you invite me in," Elijah says.

He pauses for a second before stepping to the side, letting the older vampire inside.

As Elijah walks down the stairs into the library, he lays his eyes on you. You're currently being held by Caroline. She's been trying to cheer you up and to stop your crying but nothing has worked. You're not wailing anymore but there are still tears running down your tiny cheeks every now and then.

He puts on a facade, acting surprised at the sight of the baby. Caroline and everyone else notice this. Caroline walks over to the other side of the room and places you into an old wooden crib they had found in the attic.

"What's the occasion of your visit?" Damon all but growls, not happy about an original vampire being in his home.

"Just the fact that you have apparently acquired a baby in a short amount of time. I'm only curious" he says, trying to ignore your looks for him. You see the man in the suit is recognizable as your dada. He comes over a lot and holds you and cares for you, and makes your mama smile.

You hold your arms up in a grabby motion. Everyone hasn't noticed. They're all focused on Elijah as there was no way that he just happened to know two hours after they had taken you. Someone must have been watching them.

Damon and Stefan are standing in front of Elijah, whose back is facing you, the rest of the gang all stood behind the brothers.

Katherine watches from behind the door, knowing what to do next. She opens the door and makes her way inside, causing the gang's attention to go to her.

"That was stupid of you" She sneers, her vampire face on display.

As your mama distracts everyone else, your dada quickly goes over to you. He picks you up and vamps out of the room through the same door Katherine left wide open.

"What-" Elena started saying and turned around, seeing that you and Elijah are gone.

Everyone else followed her action and before they knew it, it was only them. You, Katherine, and Elijah, are long gone.

Katherine follows Elijah to a clearing in the woods. He's cradling you against his chest, slightly swaying you as you calm.

"I'm so sorry I let this happen, I never wanted anything to happen to her," Katherine tells him, feeling an emotion she hasn't felt in a long time, guilt.

"There's nothing to apologize for. There was no way for you to know what was going to happen" Elijah says, softness in his eyes. "Come, I have the perfect place for us. It's out of town and secluded" he smiles.

As they make their way there in his car, they talk the whole time as you're sound asleep in your car seat.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Farmer's Daughter 4

Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Walter Marshall

Summary: You notice a peculiar change in a family friend. (short!reader, sorry size kink is out)

Part of the Backwoods AU

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

Your father’s nurse, Heather, doesn’t arrive until after noon. Your mother spends much of the morning waiting on her, wondering if something happened. The woman with the steely hair explains that she had to drive from several towns over. It doesn’t matter, you’re just happy to have her there.

Your dad remains despondent. Your mother frets and hovers as Heather’s voice carries through the old farmhouse. She enunciates and projects as she speaks to the husk sitting in the recliner. Your mother paces and as you peek in on the nurse trying to guide your father in a simple exercise, your heart knots and nearly breaks.

You fell outside, proclaiming to your mother that you’ll check the hen house for eggs. She doesn’t argue even though you already did so that day. You tramp out onto the porch and clatter down the stairs. Things change so quickly.

In the distance, you watch the tractor drawing a straight line across the fields. You shield your eyes from the sun and squint. Timothy steers the smaller of the machines closer by. It should be your father out there. He doesn’t belong inside, he’s no type of man to be so still.

You sigh and muster your courage. You go back inside and find your mother standing at the door of the front room. She watches Heather and your dad. He mimics her clumsily as she shows him what to do. He’s shaky and gives up with a harrumph. He’s never been the one to surrender.

“It’ll be okay,” your mother whispers.

“Ma,” you rub her back, “we should start dinner. The day’s half gone.”

She sniffs and nods, “you’re right, honey.”

You walk silently to the kitchen and start on the evening meal. Her special sweet and sour meatballs. The sauce is a family recipe and she serves the signature dish on white rice. The work will keep you both distracted.

🌾

Your mother helps your father to the table as you go out to get your brother and Walter. You find Timothy with a cigarette between his lips. You scowl.

“Don’t let ma see,” you warn him.

“Sorry, I… it’s stressful.”

“Yeah, I know,” you utter dully. “Just don’t smoke by the door.”

You leave him, searching around in confusion. Where’s Walter? Did he leave already? He swore he’d stay for dinner and it’s all your mother talked about as you cooked. You know she’s avoiding mentioning what’s on all your minds.

You walk along the front of the house and turn the corner, nearly colliding with Walter as he comes around. You cry out and laugh at yourself as you touch your chest. He doesn’t flinch.

“Sorry–” You begin.

“My fault,” he insists, “was just making sure the tractor’s read for tomorrow.”

“Oh? Tomorrow?”

“Still lots to be done,” he says casually.

“Right,” you agree, “er, dinner’s ready.”

“You cooked?” He wonders.

“I helped,” you say as you turn and walk ahead of him.

“I saw you. With the chickens,” he follows at half a step. He’s like your very own shadow.

“You did?”

“Tractor stalled,” he supplies. “I think I figured it out though.”

“Oh, that’s good,” you reply awkwardly. You’re not used to him speaking so much. Not to you. “I made dessert tho–”

As you crane to speak over your shoulder, simultaneously lifting a foot to climb the porch steps, your toe hits the wood. You cry out and throw up your hands, bracing for impact. You don’t hit the rigid zigzag, instead caught around the waist as you hover just above them. His strength is effortless as he has you bound up in his thick arm.

Again, Walter saves you from catastrophe. He pulls you back and rights you, brushing against you as he unhooks his arm. He clears his throat and runs his hand down the front of his shirt.

“You alright?” He asks.

“Yeah, I…” you giggle and shake your head, “I’m so… all over the place right now. I’m sorry–”

“As long as you’re fine, no need to apologise,” he assures you.

“Ha, yeah,” you rub the back of your neck and look pointedly at the steps. You take each deliberately, “just needa watch where I’m going.”

He hums and trails after you. As you get to the door, he reaches around you to pull back the screen before you can. You thank him and go inside, stopping to slip off your flats as he unties his boots. The savoury scent of dinner draws you in.

You wait for him and lead him to the dining room. Your mother welcomes him in as she sits close to your father and feeds him. Timothy’s eyes flick back and forth between your parents and his plate fearfully.

“Pat,” Walter approaches the table with you, “Maddie,” he greets firmly, pulling out a chair. Before you can do the same, he gestures you into the seat before him.

“Oh, thanks…” you accept and sit down at your father’s other shoulder and Walter lowers himself into the next chair. You catch your mother’s gaze as she peeks over at you.

“Thank you for having me.”

“It’s our pleasure,” your mother insists, “really. You are helping us so much, dear. I can’t–” her voice crackles, “I can’t tell you how much it means.”

“Ma,” Timothy utters, embarrassment lining his tone.

“It’s the decent thing,” Walter says plainly.

“Would you like some meatballs?” You offer, “rice?”

“Please,” Walter nods and sits back as he watches you scoop a healthy serving of both onto his plate, “thank you.”

You recline and spoon out your own dinner. A lot less than his. You’re not very hungry. Your mom’s plate is barren as she focuses on your dad. Or you assume she does until you once more meet her eye. Her eyes drift over to Walter and back again.

“Very good,” Walter says after a bite.

“Oh, well, my daughter did all the hard work,” your mother preens.

Your furrow your brow at her lie. You are ever her helper. She told you what to fetch and to set the timer but she has to measure it all so precisely.

“Mmm, well, she was taught well, I’m sure,” Walter comments and shovels more into his mouth.

“I didn’t do that much,” you scoff as you slice into one of the large meatballs.

“Oh, of course you did, honey,” your mother chimes. “She’s a great cook, Walter, don’t let her fool you.”

You don’t argue. It isn’t the time and besides, it’s harmless. Just another distraction. She’s redirecting the attention so she doesn’t have to acknowledge the reality sitting right beside her. A few white lies are nothing compared to that.

[judgeanon]

So About That BATGIRL #1...

I put this review up in another site, but since folks here on Tumblr seem to be realizing I have a lot of Thoughts about Lady Shiva, I figured I'd transplant it here. So here's how I feel about it. The short of it is that I think it's a strong start with a few small quibbles because I'm not sure how much of Shiva's writing is her being intentionally OOC and how much is Brombal trying to humanize her.

The long is here:

Now, one of Shiva's main issues as a character ever since they finally split her from the League of Assassins (God bless you Bryan Hill) is that, instead, writers have stapled her to Cass. Literally every major Shiva appearance since 2017 has involved Cass in some way. That is a problem not so much for Cass, who gets to have her own stories and series with and without the Batfam (although mostly with), but for Shiva, who doesn't get nearly as much exposure as her daughter. If there's a Shiva comic coming out, odds are it's gonna have something to do with Cass. Well, except for the other Shiva comic coming out this month that's gonna suck shit.

But at the same time, I don't think that means nobody should ever do another Shiva/Cass story, because I still feel like that's rich soil that nobody has had the time, space or desire to really commit to mining. Hill in Outsiders was writing a whole ensemble cast and couldn't linger too long on them. Writers like Grayson and Cloonan/Conrad both teased Shiva trying to reconcile with Cass but never took it anyhwere. A Shiva/Cass story can still be compelling and interesting as long as the writer is willing and able to Actually Write It.

So when literally the first panel of this new issue is Shiva addressing Cass and their relationship directly, I'm already perked up. Right from the get go, you can tell that Tate Brombal is absolutely here to tell a story about these two women and pretty much nothing else, and also that Tak Miyazawa and Mike Spicer are a killer art team. I adore how hard Tak's figures look without (usually) being stiff, thanks to some solid body language and expressions. And Spicer's colors have a cool kind of dark-but-vivid look. The last leg of the issue, with everything illuminated by fire, is especially cool.

Going back to the opening, it's curous how despite this being an issue #1, there's very little in the way of character introductions or set up. There's no slow burn here, no lengthy creeping intro like previous Shiva/Cass stories. And while I can't help but feel that it must be a little awkward for readers unfamiliar with them or their current situation, I think it also accurately reflects one of my favorite parts of the comic, which is Cass' being just absolutely fucking DONE with her mom.

After years of hyper dramatic standoffs and tearful moments of cheap heartbreak, it's fun to see a Cass who has no time for her mother, who's not interested in what she's got going on, and who's confident enough in herself to even be a little shit about it. It's fun and refreshing and fits Cass very nicely.

That not-quite-breakneck but still fast pace keeps up when the Unburied show up after just a few pages of setup and you know, in a couple of interviews, Brombal mentioned being influenced by Daredevil. And this is the page that made me go "Ah, yeah, that tracks." 'cause brother, those are some MILLER-ass ninjas.

Why Shiva fears these guys or thinks Cass can't handle them is not yet explained, but her desperation to keep Cass around does lead to a small but very meaning-heavy moment: the first punch in this series is not thrown into the face of the new enemies, but it's Cass decking her mom in the face and Shiva loving it.

It's an excellent touch and a perfect mission statement about the series. I love it as much as I love the ensuing fight, full of cool moves in big and small panels, but the most fun thing to me is how it's choreographed as Cass fighting her mom almost as much as she's fighting the Unburied. And on top of being a great fight, it ends with a small nod to QUESTION #1 or the 'Tec '88 Annual, in case I was somehow not sold enough already.

And while I still love Cass being so willing to call Shiva out on her lies, it does bring up one of the small gripes I have with this issue: I don't like it when Shiva lies constantly. I think she's best when she's strong and confident enough to not need to lie, when she just lays everything out on the table the way this comic is almost doing. It's good for Cass, as it keeps showing her as someone who has grown to understand her mother, who sees Shiva for who she is and what she does. And it does set up a slightly heartwarming scene at the end.

Of course, that's personal preferrence, and I'm not gonna say this is a bad comic because it doesn't follow my own idea of what works best for Shiva, especially since it's clear that Brombal is writing her with a lot of intention here. But that leads to the other big-ish issue I have with this issue: it's a bit hard to tell, from this story alone, how much of these moments are Brombal building his own personal version of Shiva and how much of it is Shiva, in-universe, acting out of character for the sake of some hidden scheme. After all, Cass points out that twice in the issue Shiva backs down, first from a moral fight and then from an actual fight.

So it's possible that even the constant lying is Shiva playing a role in favor of a grander scheme which will be revealed in later issues. Which, fair enough, I'm willing to see where it goes. But that second moment of yielding does lead to what's maybe my biggest problem with BATGIRL #1, and it's the Unburied themselves.

There's nothing in that initial fight with the Unburied that suggests Shiva and Cass would've had trouble dealing with them. Hell, there's very little to suggest even one of them would've had trouble with them. Now, I'm not suggesting that this issue should've started with the titular character and her mom getting their asses handed to them. But it feels like there's just not enough to these new enemies yet to justify the escape. Ninjas show up, Cass and Shiva beat them without getting hit once, more Ninjas show up and Shiva self-defenestrates herself.

Again, entirely possible that Shiva has something up her sleeve here, and issue #2 did promise to show us the main villain behind them, but as it stands it leaves me with this weird mix of not quite intrigue, not quite disappointment. It's just odd. They could've had, I dunno, a bomb set in the building or some other reason for Shiva to exit the venue like that.

Speaking of odd things, however, I did NOT expect to be reading a comic that brings up Shiva's cult from Puckett/Scott's BATGIRL #25. It's an "Order of Shiva" now though, with chapters and temples and stuff. Which is a bit of a change, since back in #25 they came off more like a gang of fanboys than an order of servants or anything like that. And after being summarily disposed by Shiva in that same issue, they were never really explored again.

So this is Brombal not just bringing back a bit of old lore, but also shifting it slightly, turning it into a more organized group... and then summarily disposing of them one panel later.

Also, I don't know what it is but I *LOVE* this panel. Shiva's face, her "wut" pose, the O.O, it's just... beautiful.

Anyway, once they're in the temple for the last bit of the issue, I start to see a bit more of what Brombal's doing. Like Gail Simone and Bryan Hill, Brombal seems to want to soften Shiva up a little, to make it clear that deep inside, she does have at least a bit of a heart, or enough of it to feel sadness at the wasteful death of people she may feel like she owes something to. Compare it to BIRDS OF PREY #62 for example:

This one is not quite as dramatic or vulnerable, but it's clear that Brombal wants to write Shiva with a slightly more human heart. Which, again, I'm not opposed to but I don't think it's the best thing you can do with her. I prefer Shiva being more detached in regards to death, like the most she'll do is see it as a waste but she's not gonna get emotional about it, she's going to be way more matter-of-fact. Death happens and such. But I think that kind of aloofness often gets interpreted as monstrous disdain for life by writers trying to make Shiva into a villain, and if I had to choose between what Brombal's doing and what, well, what Tom King's probably gonna be doing in a few weeks, I'll take this anytime.

Anyway, I also didn't expect to see the apprentice from BATGIRL #26, having apparently gotten a promotion somewhere in the last 20 years. Good for him! Less good for him is the shitload of arrows he eats two pages later but oh well.

The last couple of pages lead to a nice moment of sheer badassery for both Shiva and Cass and one last showcase of Miyazawa and Spicer's glorious team effort. Those two work really well together and I'm excited to see more of them in future issues. And while we're at it, I gotta give props to Miyazawa for being one of maybe two artists to draw a visibly older Lady Shiva.

His version isn't just aged but hardened by that age, looking stern and determined without having to rely on gritted teeth or angry looks. And on top of all that, he still finds more than enough moments to give her the kind of cocky smiles that bring out the more playful side of Shiva that some stories tend to either gloss over or turn into outright sadism.

Man... I just love to see that momma smile.

Other than that, there's a couple of minor quibbles I have with the issue. There's a funny moment where Cass pulls a Batman on her own mother (who charmingly acknowledges Bruce's influence) but it's undercut by Cass poofing back into existence on the next page. And there's also the weird, almost surreal emptiness of the city around them. Even after a building explodes, there's literally nobody on the streets other than Shiva and Cass.

On one hand, it speaks to the intentions of this run. This is VERY much a two-woman show so far, with no room for much else. But it's still glaring enough to be distracting.

However, it's that intentionality that ultimately wins me over. Even with all my personal little issues with Shiva's characterization, it's obvious from the start that this is a writer who is genuinely trying to write her as a character, who is ready to engage with her and with her relation with Cass on a deeper level than just hero and villain, or good daughter and evil mom.

Brombal, Miyazawa & Spicer have put some meat on the grill, and although I don't think the biggest pieces are there yet... I'm ready to let them cook.

[naughtyneganjdm]

Love's Second Chance: A Holiday Reunion - Chapter 19

Summary: Negan plans something special for Y/N, but they go through a few speed bumps along the way. Joel finds out about it through Elizabeth and he's not happy.

Characters: Joel Miller, the reader (OC), Negan Smith, Elizabeth, Peter, Tommy, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60501985/chapters/157954594 Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Small Amounts of Smut (I think?), dirty talking, etc.

Notes: It's been a while since I updated this, I'm sorry. I've just really had a lot going on. I'll do my best to get the final chapters up ASAP.

Wear something nice. That was the only direction that Y/N was given this morning when Negan asked her to meet him at his mother’s home at a certain time today. She listened. Invited Rosita over to help her pick out a dress before Rosita had to take off to go be with Siddiq’s family. Walking up to the door, she felt a little ridiculous wearing this considering how cold it actually was outside. After the storm yesterday, there was so much snow on the ground when she woke up. With the help of Peter, she was able to shovel it all up, but it took a long time. So she was thankful she could even get here today as it was.

Elizabeth was quick to take off as soon as she could this morning and she was very hush-hush about things. When Y/N asked her where she was going, Elizabeth didn’t want to tell her mother. Which was strange because Elizabeth was never really like that. Originally, she expected Joel to come pick his laptop up from her, but he hadn’t and she just assumed that was his way of still giving her space.

The front door to Negan’s mother’s home opened as she made her way carefully up the sidewalk. When her eyes lifted, she saw that it was Elizabeth walking out the door and it had Y/N coming to a quick stop. Closing the door behind her, Elizabeth let out a shocked sound when she saw Y/N, “You’re early.”

“What are you doing here?” Y/N questioned her daughter who looked back at the door like she was looking for some kind of answer. Shaking her head from side to side, Elizabeth threw her hands up and couldn’t think of an answer quick enough. “Elizabeth?”

“I was helping Negan with something,” Elizabeth explained pointing back at the house, her eyes avoiding Y/N. Rocking back and forth on her feet Elizabeth looked guilty of something that she didn’t want to admit to. “Listen, mom…I have to go to dad’s house. Peter and I are supposed to go with dad, Uncle Tommy and Maria tonight to that one subdivision that goes crazy with lights. It’s a tradition for us to walk around it every year. You know that.” 

“What were you helping Negan with?” Y/N was actually curious since this wasn’t something Negan talked to her about nor was it something that Peter seemed to know about earlier when she dropped him off at Joel’s place right before this.

“I…” Elizabeth paused, looking over her shoulder once more and letting out a wince. “I can’t tell you, but after tonight? We can talk about it all you want.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Y/N wondered with Elizabeth moving around her and starting to back step toward Joel’s home. “Why are you avoiding me?”

“Because I have to,” Elizabeth held her hands up causing her mom’s face to scrunch up in confusion. “I love you mom, I just really have to get to dad’s place…”

Elizabeth couldn’t walk away fast enough to get to Joel’s home and it surprised Y/N with the interaction that they just had. It was very odd behavior from her daughter.

Confusion flooded her veins when she started to walk back up toward the front door where she was met by Negan’s mother who looked incredibly happy to see her there. She told her that Negan was in his old bedroom getting dressed to go out with her. Walking down the hallway, things just felt strange. Very strange.

Pushing open the door to Negan’s old bedroom, Y/N saw Negan standing at the side of the bed. His black button-down shirt and his suit jacket were laid out on top of it. Hooking his belt together, Negan looked wet and like he had just taken a shower. Gazing over his shoulder, Negan offered up a weak smile, but that smile slowly faded to a frown with the way that Y/N was looking at him.

“Hello beautiful,” Negan turned toward Y/N who swallowed down hard. His chest was still damp from his shower drawing attention to the lines of his slender abdomen and it had her throat tensing up. “What’s that look for?”

“Why are you wet?” she blurt out with a judgmental expression. Why was that the question she asked? Obviously, she knew the answer.

“I just took a shower,” Negan pointed toward the bathroom that was in his bedroom and clearly he thought that was obvious too. Lowering his hand, he caressed it in over his abdomen dragging his fingertips through the wet curls of hair. Tipping his head to the side, his eyebrows furrowed and the way she was looking at him provoked him to scoff. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Are you fucking my daughter?” she blurt out, letting her worst fears come to light. Immediately a cough escaped Negan’s lips, his hazel eyes growing wide with the mere suggestion.

“Where the fuck did that come from?” Negan seemed both shocked and sickened by her question. That was a relief at least, but it was a question she couldn’t help but ask with Elizabeth acting so weird about things. “She’s seventeen years old Y/N. What the fuck?”

“You can’t blame me with this one. It’s a little shady if you ask me,” she stressed to Negan who laughed uncomfortably as he stood before her. “What else am I supposed to think? This morning she wouldn’t tell me where she was going. I come to your mother’s house to find her sneaking out when I get here. And she can’t tell me why she’s here with you. I’ve never had her avoid answering a question. And then I come in here to find you half naked, getting dressed after taking a shower.”

Pointing to Negan, she held her hand out to draw attention to his body.

“This is the first time I saw some of Joel’s negative personality in you,” Negan snickered stepping forward to reach out to caress his hands in over her shoulders. “I was in the shower so I didn’t stink and my mother was feeding your daughter. You’re welcome to go ask my mother if you’d like. You can also ask her if she was with us the whole day so you know that we weren’t alone. Fuck, I look at Liz like a family member already. How fucking sick do you think I am?”

Embarrassment flooded her body with her face growing incredibly hot that she just accused her boyfriend of sleeping with her daughter. Negan didn’t know whether to be amused or nervous with her questioning him like that, “I’m sorry Negan.”

“No, it’s okay. Mama bear came out and she was ready to go,” Negan swept his thumb in over Y/N’s jawline, getting her to relax before him. “I would fully expect you to beat the shit outta me if I did that. I’d beat the shit outta me if I did that.”

“I’m sorry Negan,” she apologized realizing how stupid that question actually was when she thought about everything. “I don’t know why I got that way. Elizabeth was just acting really weird when I saw her leaving here.”

“It will all make sense later,” Negan assured her with an amused rumble of a sound. Playfully she hit at the center of his chest causing him to snort. “Full transparency? I did have sex with your ex-husband last night though.”

“Makes sense,” she stammered under her breath, shaking her head as she spoke. “I was supposed to see Joel today for him to pick up his laptop and he never came. In fact, he hasn’t interacted with me at all. So I’m guessing he’s panicking about the two of you sleeping together?”

“I don’t think that’s it,” Negan reached for her hands, caressing his thumbs over the back of them. “I think he’s trying to respect you asking for space. And he’s probably waiting for you to tell him that it’s okay for him to come back around. He was upset that he hurt you as bad as he did.”

“Wow. So he told you about that?” she inquired, feeling a lump growing at the center of her throat when Negan’s fingers hooked with hers. Unhurriedly, Negan led her over toward the bed with him so they could both sit on the edge of it to talk. “What did he tell you exactly?”

“Uhm…” Negan licked his lips, tipping his head from side to side. “Everything?”

“Everything?” she repeated, shock flooding into her features. “So you know that…”

“Him and Lucille were sending dirty e-mails and videos to each other? Yeah. He told me,” Negan filled in the blanks for her to let her know that she didn’t have to hold all that in from him and worry about what he did and did not know.

“Wow, I can’t believe he did that,” she admitted, a pain flooding into her chest at the idea that he came to Negan last night to tell him. “I asked him not to tell you about that. Of course he told you.”

“You asked him not to tell me?” Negan repeated what she had said, his head tipping to the side like that of a confused puppy dog. “Why?”

“I didn’t think you’d handle it well,” she was honest, having a hard time looking at Negan when she thought about everything. “Every time I tell him to do something, he does the opposite.”

“In this case, I agree with what he did,” Negan opened up to her about the situation, lifting his hand to grasp her chin between his thumb and index finger. Getting her to look at him, Negan offered up another smile that made a breath escape her throat. “He told me that he wanted to be a better man. I’ve been very open with him about the fact that I tell you everything. And I think that’s something he inspires to be like. Prove that he’s not like he used to be. I respect that. Although, I did hit him really hard. One firm punch to the face. Just to get him back for the other night when he hit me when he was drunk and for that. I do think I might have broken his nose.”

“You broke his nose?” she pushed drawing Negan’s eyebrows to bounce up.

“There is a cut on the bridge of his nose right here,” Negan pointed to what he remembered waking up to this morning. “And a little bit of bruising. I don’t think it was a horrible break, he still looks pretty. Just a little beaten up. He got it after one hit.”

“And he didn’t fight back? I would think Joel would take that as advantage to have an all-out brawl between the two of you,” she knew that Joel would have jumped at the opportunity to fight Negan recently.

“I think he felt bad and thought he deserved it. So he took it,” Negan explained what happened. After Joel got hit, he did bleed significantly which was something that he left out when explaining to Y/N, but it was a nose. That was normal. “Afterwards, we ate some canned ravioli and watched a football game together.”

A silence followed when Negan dropped his hand and let out a long exhale, “I was irritated, but at the end of the day? I was an awful husband for a short period of time. Compared to what I did? They were just being stupid with one another. It was like watching porn.”

“It’s a little bit more extreme than that,” she corrected Negan who simply shrugged his shoulders. “It was.”

“Was it?” Negan responded, biting down on his bottom lip. “They didn’t have sex. They never intended on having sex.”

Shaking her head, she lowered her stare from Negan and didn’t like what she was hearing, “I took a naughty photoshoot that went out to magazines all across the world. Most of the world has seen my ass. And while yes, my balls and my dick were hidden…anyone can find me in just about nothing.”

“That’s not the same thing,” she defended, her face scrunching up when she looked to him again.

“Y/N,” Negan paused, his hazel eyes narrowing when he reached out to brush her hair behind her ear. “If you had showed up at my hotel room while I was married, I would have had sex with you in an instant. Joel isn’t wrong about that. Given the opportunity, I would have had an affair with you. And I would have felt bad, but I still would have done it. Because I fucked people that I didn’t care about. I was no good Y/N. What they were doing was finding comfort in someone familiar. And men love showing their cocks. Trust me. Even if they don’t have something to be proud of.”

“I feel like you’re giving them an excuse,” she stressed to Negan who reached out to place his hand in over her knee. “They had an emotional relationship through these e-mails Negan. He sent her a video of him jerking off for her.”

“Was it hot?” he blurt out, grunting when she smacked at the back of his head. Playfully nudging her, he shrugged his shoulders and couldn’t help but snort in laughter. “It was over four years ago Y/N. And…I really can’t judge. Plus, let’s not pretend we’re entirely innocent.”

“I never cheated on Joel,” she defended herself, placing her hand in over her chest to fight him on it with Negan’s eyebrows bouncing up. “I never sent out naughty photos to anyone. Nor did I have an emotional relationship with anyone.”

“You’re right, you never cheated while you were married,” Negan agreed with her, tipping his head from side to side. “There is one thing both you and I never told Joel. So while I pride myself on being honest…”

“I don’t know what you’re…” she paused, her head dropping down when she realized what Negan was talking about. “Shit…”

“And there it is,” Negan snapped his fingers together, sucking at his bottom lip when he gave her a firm nod. “I’ll set a scene for you. I had been with Lucille six months, you had been with Joel however long you were. It was raining, you crawled out of your window and came to mine…”

“That’s not the same thing,” she suggested, with Negan’s head tipping to the side. “You hadn’t talked to me in a long time. I missed you and I wanted my best friend back. We were teens. And we didn’t have sex.”

 “Because my mother walked in,” Negan reminded her, his head shaking when he pointed toward the door. “If she hadn’t, you know just as much as I do that we would have had sex. You were soaking wet, I gave you some of my pajamas. You were crying, we started kissing, then we had no clothes on and we were in my bed…”

“I forgot about that,” she exhaled loudly, slouching forward resting her elbows on her knees when Negan reminded her of something that happened after their first initial fight. “My parents were watching me like a hawk because they hated Joel.”

“And they called my mom to ask if I knew where you were when you snuck out,” Negan recalled, swallowing down hard with him reaching up to sweep at her jawline. “We already had put the condom on me, I wasn’t balls deep but…”

“You weren’t in me at all,” she corrected him knowing that Negan was trying to suggest that they went further than they did. “Negan, you weren’t.”

“If you say so,” Negan scoffed, grunting when she shoved at his arm. “My point is Y/N, we cheated. We never acted on it or said anything because after my mother came in, you got embarrassed, got dressed, ran out of the house and then we never talked again. So I assumed you wanted to continue to have the relationship that we did previously. It was like a fucking dream. You never talked to me about it. And Joel didn’t kill me the next day, so I knew that it was something we were both supposed to forget. The truth is Y/N…the world would always fucking lead you and me back together. There is something between the two of us. When we’re around each other, we act on our emotions. Was Joel your soulmate and Lucille mine? Yeah. I think so. But I think you were always supposed to be mine and I was always supposed to be yours.”

“That’s very sweet, but at the same time makes me realize I was a shitty person,” she recognized, the ache growing at the center of her chest. “I just made Joel feel awful about everything and I did something worse.”

“You were an emotional teenager,” Negan suggested, shaking his head at the idea. “And so what if we’ve all done shitty things? We’re humans Y/N. We make mistakes. It’s what we fucking learn from those mistakes that defines us. And I made so many fucking mistakes that I can’t view Joel as worse than me. Because he’s not. He’s someone who had been in pain his whole life and that pain clouded his judgement. But do I think he loves you? Yes. Yes, I do. And there is something that happened when he was a teenager with his dad that…”

Negan paused, biting down on his bottom lip, “It’s not my place to tell you. That’s something Joel will have to tell you, but fuck…he’s gone through a lot. And so have you. We’re three severely fucked up people.”

Snickering, she shook her head and lowered it having a warmth flooding into her face, “You have the right to be hurt, but I do think you need to acknowledge that while he may have had impure thoughts he never fucking acted on them. If you and Joel would have sent me one of your sex videos when I was married to Lucille, I would have jerked off to them. And I would have sent you a video back. It’s just something people do to do it.”

“He’s lucky to have you, you know?” she interrupted Negan’s thoughts causing Negan’s Adam’s apple to bounce in his throat. “Because no one defends him harder than you do.”

“No,” Negan shook his head, dragging his thumb across her bottom lip. “He’s lucky to have you, just like I am. Because no one fought harder for us than you have. We’re lucky to be loved by you.”

“Oh, you’re good,” she sighed loudly, drawing a big, cheesy smile from Negan. Leaning in toward her, Negan nudged his nose against hers before bringing their lips together in a passionate sweep. “You’re always making me feel things.”

“Happiness?” Negan stammered, peppering kisses at her bottom lip. Bracing her hand in over the center of his chest, she allowed her fingers to stroke at the tattoo that covered his pectoral muscle. “Horniness?”

“I was thinking more so love, but the two h-words work too,” she chuckled, her laugh vibrating against his lips making him smile. “You know, we never had sex in this room. Which is almost a shame.”

“Is that a hint?” Negan slurred, his right eyebrow arching in curiosity.

“Do we have to be somewhere at a certain time?” she was curious with Negan looking to the clock that was on his nightstand. With a scrutinizing look, Negan muttered something under his breath and then laid back against the bed. Reaching for her made her laugh when he helped pull her in over him. “Is that a no?”

“I mean we have somewhere to be, but the idea of this? Well, I think it can wait,” he slurred, pushing his hands up underneath her jacket to get it down over her body. Bracing her hands over the center of his bare chest, she ground her hips down over his eliciting a deep rumble of a growl from his throat. Taking her time, she unhurriedly rocked her hips over his. It had his head tipping back into the pillows with him sucking at his bottom lip. “You know that my mother is here. So we’re definitely gonna have to be quiet.”

Finding his hands meeting her hips, Negan moaned out at the friction of her rubbing up against him, “Nothing makes me feel more like a teenager again than being with you. I remember we did this all the fucking time. I still don’t understand why we didn’t just have sex. We did just about everything else…”

“Your dad put the fear of God into us,” she reminded him with a smirk undoing his belt lazily and then working his pants open. Lowering his head, Negan’s hazel eyes watched her movements and it made him drag his tongue out across his bottom lip. “I thought one day you were just going to push my panties aside and fuck me.”

“I wanted to so bad,” Negan admitted with a hum, his head tipping back again into his pillows. Moving his shirt and jacket aside, Negan kept one hand settled at her hips and curled his other arm behind the pillow that was under his head. The movement stretched out his long torso and it had her tracing up over his ribs getting him to sigh loudly. “And the times that you would give me a pussy job, my God…”

Reaching into Negan’s pants, she took her time caressing over his body getting him completely solid in her grasp. Adjusting over him, she tugged her dress up over her hips with Negan smirking. Helping push her panties aside, Negan swallowed down hard and licked his lips, “I was…I am addicted to you.”

“Good,” she slurred, considering what Negan had just mentioned from when they were first fooling around together. Taking her time, she allowed the lips of her warmth to rub against his shaft having his long eyelashes fluttering to a tight close. By the time he started moaning, she leaned in over him to capture his lips in a silencing kiss. Allowing herself to sink down over his length had them both moaning out in unison. “There is no way you actually managed to get inside of me that night.”

“And why is that?” Negan hummed, keeping his eyes locked on hers while she took her time to roll her hips over his. The prominent vein at the side of his neck bulged when he sucked in a sharp breath of air.

“Because with the way this feels? I wouldn’t have wanted it to stop,” she explained, her nails digging into the flesh at Negan’s chest evoking a muted moan to escape him. Each movement grew in strength and power forcing him to keep quiet.

Something about the whole thing felt naughty and wrong. Particularly with where they were and their situation. This wasn’t going to last entirely too long. Especially since they both knew at any time his mother could walk in on them. She wasn’t sleeping, she was in the house and they really didn’t want her coming in again like she did when they were younger. At first Negan allowed her to control the movements but had braced himself into a seated position to bring them closer together to help keep them both silenced. This was something they had wanted to do so badly when they were younger, but just never found the right time to do it. Everything felt so right, but it always did when they were together. The hardest part was staying silent when they both had reached their orgasms, but they managed.

“So what happened last night?” she breathed laid out across Negan’s chest with her fingers circling through the dark curls of hair. Negan’s fingertips were caressing over her shoulders while they laid out across the center of his bed. “Between you and Joel? The sex?”

“We were talking about the past. I always kind of knew that Joel was bisexual. Because of…things,” Negan didn’t know what he could or could not say because he didn’t want to upset Joel in the slightest. Faint kisses were being pressed at the center of his chest while he spoke and it made him smile. “And I wanted to make him feel better about it. Show him that it was okay to feel things.”

“And who was in what position,” she tipped her head back to stare up at Negan getting a smile to tug at his handsome features.

“The first time he was the bottom and then later in the night me,” Negan was honest with her, tracing shapes over her shoulder.

“And which does he prefer?” she was curious, her jaw flexing with the way that Negan snickered. “I’m open with you when it comes to this stuff.”

“I know. And I think he prefers being a bottom but I’m not really sure. Because I also think he likes having power and control. It’s hard for him to give that up,” Negan claimed with her starting to press kisses over his chest again. A yelp escaped his throat when she nipped at his nipple which had him arching up toward her with a laugh.

“Do you love him?” she muttered against his flesh causing Negan’s smile to fade when he shrugged his shoulders. “Now that’s an expression I can’t read.”

“I love both of you, but it’s not the same kind of love,” Negan declared, his long eyelashes fluttering as he spoke. “I could find myself loving him in a way I do you with time. But the way I love you? Nothing compares to that. You’re my everything.”

Without saying a word, she crawled up toward him to meet him in a lingering kiss that made him hum. Sweeping his thumb at her jawline, Negan swallowed down hard, “Do you want to have children?”

Laughing, she didn’t know how to answer that one, “I already do have children. Two of them in fact.”

“Well, yeah,” Negan huffed, color growing in his cheeks when he lowered his head down to look at her. Now he felt stupid because he knew that. “I know that, I just meant, with me.”

“I don’t know,” she responded, her voice quiet and her eyes filled with contemplation. That wasn’t a question that she was expecting from him, especially in this moment. “I thought you couldn’t have children?”

“I don’t know if I can or not,” Negan reminded her, with a wrinkle of his nose. “I thought it was me that couldn’t have children, but there is that chance that it was just Lucille. I wanted kids really bad. Like, incredibly bad. I wanted to be a dad more than anything.”

“I guess after I had Elizabeth and Peter, I never really considered it. They are both teenagers so I really don’t think I thought I would have any more,” she truly hadn’t even considered having more children after her and Joel had gotten divorced. “I thought Joel and I would have a lot of children when we first got together, but things ended up the way that they did.”

Instead of saying anything else, Negan just gave her a nod with his Adam’s apple bouncing in this throat. It looked like he wanted to say something, but then reconsidered it, “We should probably get going. We do have some time constraints.”

“Oh,” she felt her face hot with Negan getting up from underneath her carefully. Working his pants back together, Negan was quick putting his shirt and his jacket on. Fixing her clothing, she had grabbed some of the tissue that was beside Negan’s bed to clean herself up. When they were both done, Negan held his hand out to her with a tiny smirk over his handsome features.

Accepting his hand, she allowed Negan to lead her to the front door wondering where Negan’s mother had gone off to. Right as Negan opened the door, a gasp fell from Y/N’s throat when she came face to face with her mother who was holding some kind of dessert in her hands. What had been a smile turned to a disappointed expression when her mother realized that it was her at the door. “Oh, hey mom.”

Right in that moment, it looked like her mother wanted to run away. Avoid her all together, but Negan had moved in behind Y/N.

“Is your mother here?” her mother looked beyond Y/N to make eye contact with Negan who tipped his head to the side. “Your mother brought us over a really nice dessert the other day and I thought I would repay her with this.”

“You know, I don’t understand this,” Negan announced after seeing Y/N’s face flush over with red. Instead of standing up for herself, Y/N had just stepped aside so her mother could interact with Negan. “She’s your daughter. It’s Christmas time and you’re not even going to say hello?”

Silence followed. Her mother didn’t seem to care or have any kind of emotion with what he was saying. 

“Why?” Negan pushed further, throwing his hand up in the air trying to receive some kind of answer for Y/N. “Because she decided to keep her child instead of aborting it? That’s really fucking sad because Elizabeth is an awesome kid that you never even got to know because you wrote your daughter out of your lives.”

“Is your mother home?” her mother repeated once more refusing to give Negan some kind of answer.

“Be a human being instead of a fucking robot,” Negan demanded, the vein at the side of his neck bulging. Rage was starting to grow inside of him and he could see out of the corner of his eye that Y/N just wanted him to stop. “You have two phenomenal grandchildren. They are awesome. And your daughter is a great mother to them.”

“I don’t have a daughter,” her mother was cold in the way that she responded. A broken breath escaped Y/N. Even if she swore she was fine, by her breathing Negan could tell that she wasn’t. “I had one, I haven’t for eighteen years.”

“That’s so fucked up,” Negan rolled his eyes, stepping forward to reach for Y/N’s hand. Urging her back toward him, Negan’s fingers hooked with hers giving them a firm squeeze. “You are missing out on so much, y’know that?”

“My daughter wasted her life on that Miller boy and look at the good that it did for her,” her mother stressed, lowering the pie down and shaking her head. “I knew from the start that he was no good. He never was. I expected my daughter to go to school, get a life for herself. Not hook up with the local poor boy who had nothing living paycheck to paycheck.”

“Wow,” Y/N muttered under her breath, hating that this felt like she was seventeen all over again.

“But no. She had to remain loyal to that boy and refuse to get rid of his spawn,” her mother continued to vent, “and look at what he did to her. Divorced her and left her after knocking her up with two children. It’s exactly the kind of life that I expected her to have getting married to him.”

“You’re something else,” Negan snorted before Y/N could even speak up to defend herself or Joel. “That boy lost his parents at eighteen where he had to take care of his little brother. That boy went from nothing and made himself something. But it’s not even about Joel anymore. It’s about your flesh and blood. Your daughter is still right here. Your grandchildren are living in the same town that you and your husband are. Yet you have no relationship with them. I think Joel’s parents would have given anything to meet their grandchildren. Instead you allowed those children to grow up without any grandparents at all.”

Another bout of silence surrounded them.

“Y’know what though? It was probably for the best. They did much better without you anyways. The last thing they needed was you poisoning them with your hatefulness,” Negan snarled, his blood boiling at this point. “Your daughter became a better parent than you ever could have been. Unlike her, her children know what it’s like to be loved unconditionally. By both their mother and their father.”

“Can we please avoid the lecture?” her mother was dramatic in the way that she delivered her sentence. “Even at this point, I wouldn’t want anything to do with my daughter. Ending up with you now? Being all over the news. Do you know how many people have mentioned it to us at church? God, the rumors that we have heard.”

Snatching the pie from Y/N’s mom had her gasping out with Negan holding it in his free hand, “I assure you that my mother will get your crusty ass pie. Now get the fuck outta her house before I force you out.”

There was an offended expression over her mother’s face when she gave Y/N one final scrutinizing look, but Negan was quick to get her out the door. Slamming the door shut, Negan grunted when he saw that his mother was standing behind him in the hallway.

“Good boy,” Negan’s mother stepped forward to palm in over the side of her son’s face. “You go toss that in the trash where it belongs.”

“Yes ma’am,” Negan smirked heading over toward the kitchen with his mother stepping before Y/N. No words were spoken. She just wrapped Y/N up in a hug. Truthfully? She didn’t realize how much she truly needed a hug from someone that was like a parental figure to her. By the time Negan returned, he came to a full stop allowing them to continue their hug until his mother was satisfied. Leading Y/N back to the door again, this time he was happy to see that no one was there. “We are going to have to blindfold you because I don’t want you to know where we are going.”

“Okay?” she couldn’t say no really in this position. So she let him do it. Wrapping the red fabric around her eyes. Being careful, she allowed Negan to lead her down the sidewalk and to his car. Once he had them both inside and the car started up, she couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re lucky that I trust you.”

“I know,” Negan acknowledged with a snort.

It was hard to focus where they were going with Negan humming the Christmas music that was on the radio while they drove. What made things worse is she couldn’t stop thinking about the things her mother said. After this long? Her parents hadn’t changed at all. But she knew she had to force herself to think about something else. Negan was doing something nice for her and she had to think about that. Not the things that were eating away at her.

It wasn’t a very long drive, but it was far enough that she didn’t really know where they could be headed. When they got wherever Negan was taking her, she was surprised by how quiet it actually was.

“Ready?” Negan’s breath was warm against the side of her neck, drawing chills down her spine. Undoing the blindfold allowed her eyes to flutter to an open. It was dark with lights flooding the large area before her. It took a minute for her to truly realize where they were and it made her laugh when music started playing in the background.

“The skating rink? I don’t think I’ve been here in over ten years,” she turned to Negan with curiosity in her eyes. Loosely, Negan’s arms wrapped around her with his hazel eyes gazing down at her with awe. “You wanted me to dress up nice for this?”

“Yes, yes I did,” Negan answered with a wink, lowering enough to nuzzle his nose in against hers. “Come here…”

Getting her to follow him over toward a table that was already set up at the back of the building had her curiosity growing. On top of it was what looked like the setting for a child’s birthday party. There was a cake that had no writing on it, but it was decorated like what one would look like for a birthday. There was a pizza at the center of the table along with plates and two party hats.

Looking around, she realized there was no one else there, just them. Except for maybe whoever was helping Negan hidden somewhere, “Alright. I’m interested.”

Something sent a line of light across the area they were seated at and it made her smile looking over her shoulder to see that the arcade area had just turned on. Sounds of the games and the flashing of the lights had her smirking.

“Here,” Negan reached for one of the party hats to put it on her. A tiny laugh fell from her lips and it made her smile. Getting a hat for himself, Negan put it on which had her chuckling louder. Curling his finger in underneath her chin, he got her to tip her head back to look up at him. “Do you know what is so special about this place?”

“We were here all the time as young children?” she replied, not sure if that was the right answer. Simply shaking his head had Y/N sucking in a sharp breath of air. “What’s so special about this place.”

“It’s the place we shared our first kiss,” Negan alerted her with his thick eyebrows bouncing up when he closed the distance between them. “It was my birthday. There was a bunch of kids here. More so here for the party instead of being here for me.”

“So, that’s what you’re creating again for us,” she noted looking down at the table that was set up for them. “Do you know how young we actually were when that happened?”

“Very, very young,” Negan smirked, his dimples showing clearly with the amusement that was in his features. “Do you remember where we were when you first kissed me?”

Extending her hand out, she swiped some of the frosting from the cake and dragged her finger down over the side of Negan’s cheek. It had him snorting, but she led him over toward the area of the arcade that she recalled. Just like it was when they were younger, there was ski ball set up and she felt a warmth spreading throughout her body.

“You had just opened presents and eaten your cake. We were playing ski ball together, which you always lost,” she reminded him, turning to him. Grabbing onto the sides of his jacket, she pulled him in closer to her and she nodded toward the frosting that she put on his face. “I let you win and you had frosting on your face. I thought you were the most ridiculous boy in the world because you were so happy that you won.”

“I won fair and square,” Negan suggested with an amused rumble, the bridge of his nose wrinkling.

“In the middle of your celebrating, I tipped up on my toes and…” she gave Negan a quick peck on the lips. It had his eyes closing, a charming smile tugging at his handsome features. “I kissed you just like that. Told you happy birthday and then ran off.”

“I was hoping this time you wouldn’t run off on me,” Negan whispered, his eyes slowly opening. Leaning into her touch, Negan allowed her to wipe the frosting from his face. Depositing it between her lips had him laughing when she gave him a thumbs up. “I figured we could eat some pizza. Play some games and go skating. Eat some cake and then there is a special gift I have for you.”

“You want me to skate in a dress?” she mused, tipping up on her toes while bracing her hands against the center of his chest. “How talented do you think I am Negan?”

“Very,” Negan whispered with another big, cheesy smile. “The most talented woman I know in fact and I think you’ll really like this.”

----

“Why didn’t you bring a friend?” Joel nudged Elizabeth playfully with his shoulder as she walked side by side with him. Looking ahead, Joel could see Peter talking excitedly to one of his friends and in front of them Maria and Tommy were looking on with awe for the spectacular lights that covered each home they were walking by.

“Because this is something we do every year and I didn’t want to leave you out,” Elizabeth declared with a shrug of her shoulders, hooking her arm around her father’s to lean in closer to rest her head against his shoulder. “I thought it would be nice.”

“Every moment I spend with you is nice,” Joel assured her with a wink, a sigh falling from his throat. Stealing a quick look at the house they were passing, Joel knew this was also something that Y/N had started with him and Negan when they were teenagers. It was a tradition that they had done for a long time that had a halt after they got divorced. Yet, he always managed to take the children still every year. “I just want you to have fun.”

“I’m having fun. Contrary to popular belief, I can actually enjoy myself while spending time with my parents,” she smirked, looking ahead at the rest of their family. “Soon, I’ll be going off to college, so I’m going to take every moment I can with you.”

“Don’t remind me,” Joel scoffed hating that his daughter had grown so quickly. “I don’t want to think about that.”

“You know I love you, right?” she looked to Joel, her eyes worried as if she thought that he didn’t.

“Of course. And I love you. Very much,” Joel reached for her hand to bring it up to place a quick peck over the back of her hand. “You’re my beautiful little girl. And you always will be. No matter how old you get.”

Something seemed to be eating away at Elizabeth with her considering her next question, “Daddy? Do you hate Negan?”

“Hate Negan?” Joel repeated with a firm shake of his head. “No, I don’t hate Negan.”

“You seem like you hate Negan,” she countered recalling the way that he had been acting over the last few weeks. “He seems to make you really angry. And I know that your face looks like that because the two of you fought. You both didn’t fall on the ice. Even though you both keep insisting that.”

“Because it’s hard to believe that two ridiculous alpha males could fall on their face during the winter season?” Joel joked and it got a roll of the eyes from her. The last thing that their children needed was to be involved with the drama that was going on in their lives. “I’m sorry honey, but this is because my face decided to take a trip down to meet the sidewalk.”

“You’re not supposed to lie to me,” she frowned and Joel knew that Elizabeth wanted him to tell her everything, but there were some things that he knew should remain a secret.

“I’m not lying to you. I don’t hate Negan,” Joel promised, squeezing her fingers with his. “It’s just hard seeing how perfect he is sometimes when I know I’m not. And I’m not used to seeing your mother…love someone else.”

“Yeah,” Elizabeth was quiet about his response, her dark eyes looking around them, but he didn’t think she was all that focused on the lights. “I always thought I had the best parents when I was little and I do! I don’t want you to think that I think otherwise. But I remember how everybody’s parents were either divorced, or they were split or they were never married. But me? I had two parents that were sickeningly in love with one another. So I was always the person that never saw my parents getting with anyone else because of how much they loved each other when I was growing up..”

“Yeah,” Joel felt guilty. When he asked Y/N for a divorce, the children really weren’t what was on his mind. He never really took into consideration how much it would affect them in their lives.

“When you ended up with Tess, I think you shocked all of us,” Elizabeth declared, her voice faint and unsure since this was someone that her father dated. “I didn’t hate her, she was nice enough. But we all thought you would just go back to mom at some point.”

“It must have really hurt her when I did that,” Joel whispered, his chest aching at the thought. Lately, that’s all he had been thinking of. All the awful things that he had done over the last few years to fuck his relationship with Y/N up so bad.

“Understatement,” Elizabeth stressed, tipping her head from side to side. “Which is why I’m happy she found Negan again. I’m not sure I’ve seen her this happy since I was young and the two of you were in love.”

“And that’s why I can’t hate Negan,” Joel confessed to his daughter, his chest growing heavy at the idea that he hadn’t been able to make Y/N that happy in a long time. “I care about your mother and I just want her happy.”

“Yeah?” Elizabeth seemed to not really believe that.

“I have a lot of thoughts, but they are things I really can’t open up to you about Ellie,” Joel stressed, his brow line creasing with the thoughts that he was having. “I just want you to know that I don’t hate Negan. There is actually a lot I do like about Negan and there are things that I probably would need to talk to you and your brother about at some point. But that’s down the line.”

“Okay,” she seemed quiet, too quiet really. Elizabeth was usually so full of energy, so this was different for her. “That’s good, since I think Negan is in our lives from here on out.”

“I agree with you,” Joel couldn’t deny that now Negan had found his way back into their lives that he would never truly be gone. “He seems to really want to be around all of us now. I think he’s going to make an attempt to be here as much as he can.’

“Especially now,” she seemed to linger on a thought and Joel was curious. The way that Elizabeth was looking at him weirded him out. “You don’t know, do you?”

“Know what?” Joel shook his head leaving Elizabeth looking pale. There was something that she wanted to tell him but was having a hard time admitting it. “Honey, what?”

“Well, I was with Negan earlier today setting up this special date for mom,” Elizabeth began, contemplating if she should really be telling her father this. “At the Christmas Fest the other day, he asked me for permission…”

“For what?” Joel’s eyebrow arched noticing that she didn’t seem to want to elaborate on that detail. “Ellie?”

“He’s asking mom to marry him tonight,” Elizabeth was blunt with her answer, making it quick and short. Showing that she was scared about what his reaction would be. Stopping in his tracks had Elizabeth looking back at him worried. “I thought you said that you were okay with Negan now and you didn’t hate him.”

“He’s asking your mother to marry him tonight?” Joel questioned keeping his voice down enough so that the others didn’t hear him. Suddenly, that jealousy that had been raging inside of him was building up again inside of his body. After last night, he was surprised that this was something that Negan didn’t tell him. Especially after they had all pretty much agreed to this whole poly relationship thing. And that was something he was pushing for big time, so to hear that surprised him. “What the fuck?”

“Daddy,” she stretched out to grab a hold of Joel’s wrist to get him to focus on her. “You said that you wanted mom happy. Right? So that means you should let this happen because I know that Negan really loves mom and she loves him.”

“Don’t you think that’s fast?” Joel snapped, shaking his head at the idea of them moving this quickly. Not even just that, how was their poly relationship supposed to work? She’d be married to Negan and he’d be their side piece? How would that work? “I don’t even think she has truly considered how much all of you are going to be in the media with this. He’s going to be away most of the year playing his last season of baseball.”

“I don’t think she cares what other people think and neither does he,” she pointed out having the knowledge of how much Negan truly seemed to appear to love her mother. “I think he just loves her so much that he doesn’t want to lose her.”

Unexpected rage ate away at Joel. It was important enough for Negan to ask Elizabeth’s permission, but not for him to ask Joel for permission? Hell, Y/N was his first after all. And if they were all together, shouldn’t they have all talked about who would be married to who?

“Where are they?” Joel interrogated his daughter, but she looked uneasy at the idea of telling him. “Ellie?!”

“Dad, come on,” she reasoned with her father seeing that he was unhappy with his expression. “What are you going to do? Run over there and stop it from happening? Neither Negan nor mom will forgive you for that. It’s supposed to be a special moment for them.”

“I don’t think this is right Ellie,” Joel explained, throwing his hands up in the air with his jaw flexing in frustration. “I think there should be more time and consideration put into things. I think we should all get to know each other better and get used to this kind of lifestyle. Let your mom experience it before she makes this big of a decision.”

“I don’t think anything is going to make mom change her mind on Negan, dad,” she tried to calm her father down, stepping forward and holding her hand up to get him to focus. “Dad, they love each other. And Negan would do anything for her…”

“They are in the honeymoon phase of their relationship,” Joel grunted, his mind going in so many different directions. This was something that Negan should have told him about yesterday. Instead they focused on the feelings that he had when he was a teenager and how he felt for Negan. Yeah, he wanted the three of them to be together, but if someone was going to be married to her…Joel thought it should have been him. Not Negan. Not after everything they had been through. “Everything is glorious, but when reality starts to…”

“What’s going on?” Tommy called out to them realizing that they were lagging behind the group.

“We’ll be right there,” Elizabeth assured her uncle, still remaining quiet. There was no hiding that Tommy thought they were fighting and he was now locked on them like a hawk to make sure that everything was okay.

“Ellie, tell me where they are,” Joel begged of his daughter who was battling this whole thing in her mind. “Ellie, please!”

“At the skating rink,” he finally got her to admit to him what she knew. “The one on the edge of town. He set it up really nice and planned something really sweet for her.”

Stepping backwards had Elizabeth throwing her hands up to stop him, “Dad?”

“Tommy, I need you to take the children home after you are all done walking. Okay?” Joel pled with his brother who nodded his head, but appeared to be nervous with Joel ready to take off on them in the middle of something they did every year.

“Let me go with you,” Elizabeth stammered, clearly nervous with whatever her father was considering. “Dad?”

“Just enjoy yourself Ellie, whatever is going to happen will happen,” Joel gave her shoulder a quick squeeze before running off toward where he had parked thanking God that him and Tommy had driven here separately. Getting in the car, he was quick to leave hoping that he wouldn’t be too late for things.

What the hell was he going to say to her? What was he going to say to Negan? Really, he didn’t know what was going to be said. There was just a part of him that felt like if there was an opportunity for one of them to be married to Y/N, it should have been him. Not Negan. 

----

Tonight was fun. And it surprised Y/N how much she actually enjoyed it. Right now? They were standing at the center of the skating rink together. Instead of actually skating, they decided to use the wooden ground of the rink as a dance floor instead. Especially since she was in a dress and his knee was bothering him. It wasn’t something that Negan had thought about at the time, but this was much nicer than that anyways. It had them close to one another, enjoying the warmth of the moment.

For a long time they played in the arcade, shared their meal and cake before ending up here. It was a very sweet moment and she was in awe of the things that Negan was able to set up. Each memory Negan brought back for her was romantic and frankly adorable. It was something nice to think back on and make her happy.

“This was a good idea with the dancing,” Negan stammered with a weak smile when he pulled his head back to stare down at her. Everything around them was dark except for the lights that were filling the skating area bringing the main focus to the two of them together. “I keep forgetting that I’m a gimp.”

“My favorite gimp,” she teased him, stroking her fingers at the exposed flesh that was revealed from the opened buttons of his dark shirt. The dark hair that covered his chest was exposed and it had her letting out a loud exhale. “You’re adorable, you know that?”

“I’d like to think so,” Negan exhaled having her laugh out at his comment, burying her head against the center of his chest. “Have you enjoyed yourself tonight?”

“I have,” she answered him finding that Negan often brought back her youth for her. Pretty quickly her childhood was stolen from her and she had to be an adult faster than most people did. So it was fun getting to relive how things were when they were younger.

The next song started and this one was more upbeat having Negan carefully pushing her out before pulling her back into him. Then there was a spin that had her laughing at how easily he moved her around on this wooden floor. Dipping her had her dropping her head back and he nuzzled his nose in against the side of her neck. Laughter fell from the both of them with them enjoying the moment. It was fun, it was silly and it was just them having moments that they could look back on.

“There is something I want to show you,” Negan motioned her to wait, staring out at the darkness that surrounded them. Spinning his finger around above him had the lights slowly coming on which amused Y/N. Even though this place felt empty, there was obviously someone that had been watching them. Heading over to the side of the rink, Negan grabbed an envelope that had been sitting there. As he headed back to her, he still continued to dance about making her smile at his antics. “I have something really important for you.”

“Okay?” she went to reach for the envelope, but he stopped her holding up his finger. Motioning her to wait, Negan brought up something on his phone and held it out before her. Taking his phone, she brought it closer to her and saw that it was a website that was both her first name and her last name. “I’m confused.”

“I set up a website for you so you can blog about things,” Negan explained, a tiny smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth. Bouncing his eyebrows, he pointed at the phone to get her to look again. “That way you can start having people see your stories and your photos.”

“No one is going to want to read about my life or see my photos,” she thought this was cute, but at the same time it didn’t really make a lot of sense to her. “I mean, I can put things up, but who cares about a random girl that is living in a small town who takes mostly photos of her family.”

“That’s not true. I saw your photos, you’ve got some really good stuff from New York. And you could blog about your food that you make because you have some incredible desserts as well too,” Negan insisted, placing his hand in over the center of his chest. Waving the envelope about had her watching him with curiosity. “There have been some things I wanted to talk to you about. Back when we were at the stadium, Dale was searching for an answer for something from me. They want me to be the coach of the team after I retire. Dale has been talking about retiring for a while and since I was forced to retire with my knee, they thought it would be great to hire me on as coach. I just didn’t know if it was something that I really wanted. Especially after I got to spend time with you and your family.”

It looked like Negan was struggling to explain things to her, but she didn’t know if it was out of fear, “Then I heard you and Joel talking about longing for your life to be the way that you dreamt of when you were younger. The both of you still yearn for that kind of life. You wanted to so badly travel, be a journalist and share your photos with the world. Well, now you can.”

“How so?” she didn’t know what to say and Negan threw his hands up in the air.

“I took the job,” Negan explained, biting down on his bottom lip. “I didn’t really know if I was ready to walk away from the team. This way I can still be with the team and not have to worry about being disabled. But, I also put in a stipulation. I would only agree to take the job if they did one thing for me.”

“And what’s that one thing?” she didn’t know if she should be happy for Negan yet or not because he had all this nervous energy. That was when he handed her over the envelope. Looking down, she accepted it and started to open the envelope. In the light she managed to see that it was a contract with the baseball team that was made out for her. “Negan?”

“I managed to get the team to hire you on. They came to me recently wanting someone to follow me around during the last year of my time on the team. Someone to report on what I was going through, what I was doing. They thought it would bring a lot of attention to the team in a positive light. And it would also put focus on my career ending so people really knew that it was the end, you know? I can’t think of someone I want doing it more than you. So this is their offer. They want you to follow me around and do the segments. Travel with me, report on things. Take photos, talk about the team. The games. I know you know baseball. You’ll get to travel, be with me and take photos. Which is exactly what you always wanted. You can also post about the things you want to post about.”

“Negan, this is a lot of money,” she felt suddenly panicked looking at the numbers that were there. “You got them to do this by saying it was the only way you would be the coach?”

“Yeah,” Negan nodded his head, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat.

“But I’m a nobody. You’d think they would want someone who has already made a name for themselves,” she didn’t know how to respond realizing that Negan was right, this was the closest thing to the dream she had when she was younger.

“But you have to make a start somewhere, right? Dale got his job because someone gave him a chance. And that’s what they are doing here with you,” Negan reasoned with her pointing to the papers that were in her hands. “Joel is getting attention for what he did at that bar. I know people that are related to music are actually interested in getting in contact with him. And people are going crazy about hiring him as a contractor. Now it’s your turn to get to live doing some of the things that you always wanted.”

“Wow,” she didn’t know what to say. This was big. Very big. It was a deal that a lot of people would easily accept no questions asked.

“Which really leads me to my next question,” Negan stammered, surprising her when the lights went out. Around her in the darkness she felt something pouring down in over them. By the time that the lights slowly came back to, she realized that there were rose pedals on the ground around her. A video started playing out of the corner of her eye and it was someone projecting what looked like home videos on the wall. Realizing what it was, she turned to look at them. It was their videos together from when they were younger. Videos she assumed that Negan got from his mother of them growing up. It started with them young and with each passing second it led to them becoming teenagers through quick glimpses of clips. There was a gentle tug at her dress and she looked behind her to see that Negan was on his knee holding a black jewelry box in his hands. Even in the darkness that surrounded him, she could see that it was a very beautiful, big ring that was there. “This may be a little cheesy, but I had my mother and Liz help me with this earlier today.”

And suddenly there was her answer as to why Elizabeth was acting strange, “I wanted to give you a beautiful moment because you are phenomenal. Inside and out. You’re fucking perfect. And I’ve loved you my whole life. I always knew it. I still know it. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Proving to you how much I love you. Making all your dreams come true. I want you by my side. Getting to experience the life that you always wanted and then some. I want to spend the rest of my life making you fucking happy. Letting you know how fucking much I love you every day.”

There were tears burning at her eyes when she forced herself to look away from Negan who was exceedingly hopeful with the way that he was staring up at her, “It would make me really happy if you would do me the honors of being my wife.”

Silence followed and Negan lowered his head to get her to look at him. There was a big smile plastered over his features when he shrugged his shoulders, “So what do you say? Will you marry me?”

“I wish you wouldn’t have involved Elizabeth in this,” was the first thing that came out of her mouth and the smile slowly faded from Negan’s features. That wasn’t what he was expecting after asking her to marry him. “I’m a mom, Negan.”

“Yeah?” Negan’s head tipped to the side, his features confused.

“You didn’t think this out,” she whispered, guilt eating away at her that this obviously wasn’t turning out the way that Negan wanted. “I have a daughter that is seventeen and a son that is thirteen. I’m just supposed to take off on them? Leave them? So that way I can live my dream?”

“Of course not, they could travel with us,” Negan was quick to answer, but she gave him a sideways expression. There was a knot growing in Negan’s stomach and his chest started to ache.

“They have school Negan,” she pointed out and he let out a nervous breath.

“Yeah, but they can probably get the best home schooling available,” Negan offered, the vein at the side of his neck bulging that she wasn’t just outwardly saying yes to all of this. “I can afford just about anything and you know that they would love going.”

“But that takes them away from Joel,” she countered, reaching up to wipe at her eyes with the back of her hand. “And I couldn’t do that to Joel. I couldn’t do that to them. Joel is the most important person in their lives.”

“I don’t want them taken away from Joel,” Negan looked to the ring that was in his hand and suddenly he felt incredibly small. “I just wanted to give you the life that you always wanted. I wanted to make you happy. I want to be with you.”

“Baseball season is what? Six months? And then spring training is two months? That means that we’ll always be traveling for eight months out of the year,” she thought aloud having Negan’s arm slowly dropping down beside him in defeat. There was a sense of misery in his eyes that broke her heart to see, but these were things Negan didn’t think about. “What kind of life is that for children? They need some kind of stability in their lives and they can’t be away from their father.”

“I just thought…” Negan slid further in closer to her trying to grab her hand, but she pulled it from him and let out a shuddering breath. “Please? I love you. I love your children. I want to be your husband. I want you to be my wife. And I feel like we could figure something out with Joel. If we get this music thing started for him…”

“I wish I could take off and just go whenever I wanted to Negan,” she whimpered, trying to wipe at the tears that were over her cheeks. It was hard to even look at him right now since Negan was so good at bringing happiness into her life, but she didn’t feel like he thought this out very well. “But that dream left as soon as I became a mom. A mom to children that don’t belong to you. If they were yours, it would be one thing, but I can’t take them away from their dad. I can’t stay on the road six months at a time away from them.”

“I’m sure there is something that could be worked out where…” Negan heard her sob and she threw her hands up in the air. Confusion flooded Negan’s veins that she was acting the way she was about all of this. “I don’t understand. Don’t you love me?”

“So fucking much,” she answered immediately, nodding her head to his question. “More than you will ever understand, but my family has to come first Negan. And this is where their lives are. This small, sad little town. But this is where their school is. This is where their father is. Their lives have to come first. As much as I want to be happy and to live my dreams, I have to put their dreams first.”

“I just thought…” Negan slouched forward with Y/N running off on him toward the women’s restroom. It had him closing the box up and he fell back onto his ass. Burying his head into his hands, he knew that this was not what he was expecting. He did everything he could to make this romantic for her but realizing that she had set the papers and the envelope back where they were originally, he knew that this wasn’t turning out to be the night that he planned it to be.

----

Sitting in the driveway to his home, Joel could feel his heart pounding away in his chest. He’d love to admit that he didn’t go to the skating rink, but he did. And what he saw was Negan and Y/N dancing at the center of the rink. They were laughing, kissing, smiling…doing everything that a happy couple did.

What had originally been courage out of anger and rage stopped the moment he saw them together. Elizabeth was right. They were happy. Negan made her happy. Happier than he had in years. Then again? Maybe it was happier than he had ever.

Instead of breaking things off like he had planned to do, Joel just stood there for a moment. Watched them. They had no idea that he was there. They were just lost in each other. Lost in the moment. And he couldn’t stand to see any further of it. But he also couldn’t break it up. Not with her as happy as she was. So instead he turned around. Walked out of the place. Forced himself to drive home.

Even though he told himself to turn around multiple times, he didn’t. What kind of man would he be if he ruined her special moment? Made her miserable again like he had always done before in the past. This time he had to be the better man that he used to be. The man that he wanted to be and let them have their moment.

If Negan made her happy? Then there was nothing he could do to change that. He had to let her grow up and apart from him. Even if it hurt him. Even if he felt like it was wrong. He had to let her be her own person and find her own way.

Elizabeth saw it, he saw it. Negan was the person that made her the happiest now and Joel would just have to live with that. Whether he liked it or not. There was nothing he could do to change it. No matter how much it hurt. 

----

Tags: @chainsawsangel @fancypeacepersona @violent-darkness @negansbestie @elegantfanficluv

@sanctuaryforthelost @dead-of-niight @dilfsandmartinis @jennydehavilland

[fushiguwu]

enjoying your view? getou suguru

CHAPTER 3 from the Summer Fever's serie!

ft. dilf!getou and gojo’s stepdaughter!reader

warnings: use of alcohol (again,, lol), party, gojo being comic relief, reader finds someone else hot (they're just drunk), jealousy, risky making out, sweat, spit, oral sex (w receiving), breath play, soft!dom suguru but he is just really romantic, use of the names princess, baby, silly bun, love, kind of fluff and a bit crack if you squint.

words: 3.7k

a/n: hope u enjoy it :3

Lucky enough, friday night came like a blink of an eye and you had finally something to do other than mold by your mom’s pool. Gojo almost fainted after hearing you were going to his friend’s daughter's birthday party, as if he wasn’t the one who very much put you in Mimiko’s circle of friends. He, despites, seemed a bit upset for not being invited – and it perhaps was another reason why his dramatic ass almost fainted.

“It’s a young adults party, Gojo. And you are her dad’s friend. Would you want your uncle in nearly forties to get along with you and your twentie’s friends?” You try your best not to sound so rude for him to be more concerned, even though it seemed an impossible mission. Satoru was just so sentimental. “It’s not personal, Satoru. Don’t be such a brat about it”

“You are so cruel with your words, jeez! Could’ve just said I’m not the party’s target group. Now I feel bad AND old” he sits down on the couch with a hand holding his chin, looking absolutely defeated. “In your age, I was an unstoppable party monster, just because I got married doesn't mean I’ve got to become a grimace”. And then he keeps on grumbling by himself while scrolling through the tv channels. Your mom by his side could only laugh at his pityness. Poor woman. 

You’ve seized the chance to go off home and get into your uber, who’s been  parked by your sidewalk for a whole five minutes now, while you had to deal with Gojo’s attitude. You didn’t bother trying to explain the situation for the poor man working so the trip to Mimiko and Nanako’s house was filled with the city sounds outside. 

Their house were huge, and the amount of cars parked made you doubt the party’s surprise factor. The door was wide open and the music as loud as the speaker would allow. A lot of people were dancing in the living room, and it made you question the number of people they knew and how many of them were actually friends — you wouldn’t know that many people for your entire life.

The sisters were nowhere to be found through the crowd. You didn’t know where to leave the present, and the more you got inside, the harder it was to find a space with no couple making out or a young adult drinking like they had two livers. So you go upstairs, hoping to find a safe place for Mimiko's gift — a sweet gold collar with a heart pendant. You open a door to find a bathroom. The next one, an office, smelled like fresh wood and had such beautiful brown furniture. You got too distracted to notice a figure emerging closer and closer right behind you. 

“Excuse me, ma’am” you hear a low voice say next to your ears and immediately jumps out in fright. You quickly get out of the way, without looking back, say a whispered “sorry” and go downstairs as fast as your shoes allow you. Your face probably looked as red as a fresh tomato right now. The man once behind you followed your quickie path with a smirk hidden between his cheeks before getting to his office. Thinking straight after a few seconds in the crowded living room, you’ve realized you actually recognized that voice and perfume. It was his voice. It was his smell. You turn around to seek him on the second floor, but as nothing’s ever happened right in your life, someone brought you to a tight hug and got you back to orbit. 

“Can’t believe you actually came!” Mimiko looked a bit drunk already. Apparently, you missed the surprise. “Is that for me?” she says pointing to the small box in your hands. you don't say anything, just put it on her hands instead. Finally you gave an end to this poor box. She hugs you one more time and says lots of “thank you’s” kissing your cheeks before disappearing again.

You go upstairs again, this time even more anxious than the last. The bathroom was empty, so it just left you with the office: you knocked on the door, no answer. You opened it, empty too. Just the wood smell and fancy furniture. The hallway, empty. The other doors were locked. No one was supposed to go to the second floor, as it seems, and you were looking for someone that obviously wasn’t there — and at this point you doubted yourself and started believing you were frightened by a ghost. so you accept defeat and head to the kitchen to get drunk. It wasn’t him, nor anyone. 

You looked devastated holding your fifth drink sitting by the kitchen counter all by yourself. Perhaps you were too shy to be at a party, you thought. The music playing was trash, you didn't know anyone besides Mimiko and Nanako, and they were nowhere to be found in the crowd. The kitchen seemed to be the loser's spot: there were you, by the counter, alone, a man laid on the ground with a beer bottle in hands, absolutely wasted, his friend by his side trying to get him up, while their other friend threw up in the sink. What a night. 

And you know what? fuck it. You're not going to spend your night sat watching drunk men throwing up. You’re going to honour Gojo’s party rocker memory. You took a long sip from your drink and got up to the living room. Fuck the shitty music, fuck the shyness, fuck the ghost of the man you’re obsessed about. you’re going to enjoy your fucking summer break.

The improvised dancefloor was so hot you wanted to just take off your dress right there. Your hair sticking on your skin, the smell of sweat and vape smoke would have made you sick on any other occasion, but not in this state of mind. A man approached you, he’s blond, not so tall, but what truly got your attention was that he had no shirt on. You shamelessly stared at his abs. 

“Enjoying your view?” he asks you. you nod your head, still not looking at his face. “Yo. I’m up here” he slaps his fingers in front of your face to successfully get your attention.  He, then, grabs you closer enough to meet your lips to his. His hands on your waist as you closed your eyes to let him through —wishing, expecting. Suddenly, when you could finally feel his breath on your nose, he stepped back, and another pair of hands found your waistline, from behind. You opened your eyes and looked back, pissed off. But to your surprise, you are met with both black shirted chest and hair falling down the shoulders. You, then, look up, afraid to be who you thought it was.

“Suguru?” he smiles down at you. Your heart racing to see him again. It’s him, actually him. All flesh and bones — and looking absolutely stunning. “What are you doing here?” you could see him staring down at the dude you were about to kiss. He looked even more surprised. “Sorry, man, didn't know she was with someone. My bad”  he said, frightened by Suguru’s piercing stare and height, and left without looking back. You turned around to match the raven haired man’s embrace. You just looked up at him, not believing he was actually there at all.

“Enjoying your view?” He repeats the strange man’s words, and you smile openly at him. You nod again, but this time looking deeply into Suguru's eyes. He smiles too, and your heart absolutely melts. You were getting even drunker on his perfume, his voice blurring the loud music playing around. You whispered an almost inaudible “yes” to him, completely dazed by his presence and he could see it. “Why’s that everytime I meet you, you’re drunk, princess?”

“I’m not drunk!” you tried to defend yourself. He arched his eyebrows at you.“Then why were you about to kiss that tiny naked man, huh?” his voice was lower than it normally sounded like, and he seemed truly bothered about it.

“You saw him approaching me. Why didn’t you come on first, huh?” you mimic him and arch your eyebrows back. Suguru swallowed dry and looked away, his grip on you loosening.

“Because…” he looks back at you, uncertain. You could see in his eyes that something was going on. You only looked back at him, waiting for an answer. “...Because we shouldn’t do it here. I shouldn’t” he seemed sincere, for your importunity.

“And why’s that? Who says so?” You get his face in your hands, feeling the soft and almost perfectly shaved skin. “It’s a goddamn party! It’s the exact place to do so. Only if you are here with someone else…” and you loose your hands. He quickly puts them back on his face and deeps his gaze.

“No. it’s not that.” he says right after you, laughing a bit — more like a nervous laugh than anything. “It’s just that… I don’t know…” you come closer to his face, standing on tiptoe. You could see him flushing a bit, and it makes you smile.

“You know nothing.” and you kiss him, as you’ve been dreaming for weeks now. And it felt just like the first time: just right, absolutely right. You really don’t know what was making him feel so insecure, but as the kiss deepens, he seems to forget about it more and more. His hand tightens again, and one meets the back of your head, gripping the hair from your skull in a delicious tight. You moan on his lips, your eyes shut, just feeling him over your skin again. His hand on your waist goes down to your ass, squeezing it as hard as you bit his lips. It was starting to get dangerous and you knew it. “Is there… somewhere else…?” you break the kiss to ask, breathless, finally opening your eyes. His lips were red and swollen, his gaze low down at you. He looked as starvelling as you. 

Suguru doesn’t say anything, just takes your hand and leads you away from the crowd, looking all around, afraid to find Mimiko or Nanako on the way, while you had no thoughts in your head at all, absolutely clouded, just following him wherever he takes you. And it is upstairs again. You look back, feeling like breaking some rule for going to the second floor again, but the black haired man didn’t seem to care about it. He opens the door that leads to the office where you first remembered him today. “I’ve been here, and heard someone talking to me with your exact voice” you confessed to him while the door was being closed. 

You watch him coming to you slowly, the anxiety growing at each step he takes. You could feel your heart beating on your mouth. It was finally happening: you’re finally alone with Suguru. You take a step back until you bump into the office desk, a gasp coming out your lips. He meets you, taking your legs up so you could sit on the desk, a few papers and pens falling down on the floor, but neither of you seemed to care. He puts himself between your legs, pulling your dress up your hips, as his face comes closer to your ears. His delicate hands pushing your already dry hair aside. “Yes, silly bun’, ‘cause it was me”  and then kisses your neck slowly, exploring your skin and smells. How silly of you to think it was a ghost, indeed. You could feel him smile between kisses, but you were a bit concerned.

“Don’t…” you try to advise him, for you were all sweaty and sticky just now.  You move away your neck, which he didn’t seem to enjoy. “I’m dirty, Suguru.” He listened to you unpleasantly, and gripped a hand on your throat smoothly, as looked deep into your eyes. His mood suddenly shifted — he was mad at your insecurities.

“I don’t fucking care” your view became blurred. “I want you, I don’t care about a fucking sweat.” you groan to him, trying to pull your legs together, to have a little release, but his own are in the way. It doesn’t pass unnoticed for him, though, as you feel his knees tight in your panties. He never looked away, his gaze seemed to pierce your soul apart, like a devil you gladly let be corrupted by. You wanted more of him, he wanted more of you; your lusts exploding within the walls. No closeness seemed enough. 

 “Open your mouth, princess“ you do as he commands, but he wasn’t satisfied yet, “tongue out” he hards the grip once again. As you show your tongue, he comes closer to you and spits on it, making your eyes widen. “Swallow it.” you pleasurably do, his hot and transparent fluid going all the way down your throat to heat your neglected pussy. He smiles and lets go of your neck, you feel like breathing for the first time of your life again. “Felt good, right?” Suguru glances at you while you nodded at him like a trained puppy. And he kisses you, deeply, almost greedy for it. 

His kisses started to go down your chin, neck, collarbone, and when you blinked again your dress strap was in your elbows and his mouth on your chest. “You’re just so beautiful, princess. So fucking beautiful.” he squeezes your waist, with his face hidden between your tits. “I could stay here forever” He said —more for himself than for you, kissing all the way down to your bellybutton, as getting on his knees, slowly. His hands pulled your panties down and you missed him putting them in his jeans pocket. 

Suguru puts your dress up your hips and sighs at the glance of your naked pussy dripping wet for him, and only him. He really wanted to stay there for eternity: with your knees on his shoulder, his face deep between your legs and your delightful whimpers. He didn’t know why you messed so much with his head, why he got so obsessed with you since the day you first met. Why did his heart race when he saw you again opening the door for his office and it melted when you ran away. He wasn’t supposed to leave the second floor tonight, wished to let his children enjoy their party without a boring parent present. Until he saw you and, then, risked everything just to get to your embrace once more. He knew that if one of his daughters saw you two, would never forgive him. But Suguru knew, too, that you felt the exact same for him: you eagerly, abruptly wanted him close to you. Perhaps it was for your sudden separation previously to blame; the almost that never was in the bar. Your willingness grew immensely, even more for the feeling of never seeing each other again, but now that you did, surprisingly did, it needed to be barbarously released. 

“Hold my hair back, love” Suguru gets your wrist, puts it on top of his head and goes back to work. You try, between groanings and shaking hands, to lock his hair strands in a messy bun. Your grip tightens everytime his tongue pressures harder on your aching clit, and the vibrations of his moans makes your mind clouded by lust. Looking down at Suguru you could see how freaky pussy drunk he actually was: his grip on the fat of your thighs so hard you knew it’d leave a bruise or two, half of his face was wet and spittle ran down his chin. He shaked his tongue like a beast, drank on your floods as if he’s been thirsty his whole life. You felt somewhere else in between him and your pussy. He was clearly doing it because he fucking loved to, not only for yours, but for his pleasure too —and it turned you on like nothing’s ever done. 

“Sugu, please,—fuck, i’m so close, please, please…!” you whined so many ‘please’s’ for him with such a crying voice he just couldn’t stand not giving you what you wanted. He grabs your hips and gets you up from the table, making you choke. You had your elbows holding you on the table and your legs stuck on Suguru’s ears, your hips floating in the air with only his arms to hold. You were starting to actually worry about his breath, though neither did he care. 

For the first time, he distanced himself from your clit. The lack of stimulation made you look down at him breathless, helpless. He looked at you with a smirk, his face red and soaked. “You wanna cum, babe?” you nod at him greedily; his smirk grows and he mimics your nod slowly, saying a “yeah?”  

“Yeah. Ye’Please, Sug’, pleas’ make’m cum, was so close, s’close” you had no breath to speak properly but knew he could understand you. He gathered his saliva and spat right on your swollen clit, then gave your ass a spank. 

“then fucking do it, but I want you cumming looking right into my eyes, you understand, baby?” you nod and get your grip back on his hair, using it to maintain your balance. You felt a wave coming so hard from your tiptoes to your scalp; his twilight eyes looked straight into yours until your vision went blurry, and black, and sparkling, and your body shaked like never before. Mind blank, legs weak, eyes rolling back.  Suguru kept his mouth deepening your orgasm till you pushed him away, trembling, breathless. You had such a dumb face on, he couldn’t help laughing. You looked back as if asking him what was so funny. He kept his laugh and carefully helped you stand still again — though your legs were still shaking, so the raven haired man never left his grip on your waist.

“I’m not laughing at you, baby.” but he still had a smile on. “it’s just that you’ve been fucked so stupid by my tongue, I didn’t know you were going to cum so hard.” your face went red with his words. How could he be just so shameless?

“S-stop saying that! It’s embarrassing.” you cover your burning red ears to protect yourself from his filthiness — not resting long, as he takes your hands within his chest, only making you blush more for the contact with his warmth. You didn’t want to look at his face and Suguru noticed that.

“Look at me, princess. We did nothing wrong, I’m happy that I could make you happy.” he speaks so sweetly, grabs your chin so gently to get closer to your gaze, almost as coercing you to look back at him — and you do. Your cheeks burning as found by his sharp eyes. He’s just so, so gorgeous. All of him, looking back at you so tenderly. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of, okay? You did a great job, little one.” his left hand stroking your hair as the right one kept your two hands still on his chest. You loose one up to stroke his silky brunette hair strands too. He smiles genuinely and kisses you, but this time, it felt way more meaningful. Suguru was, indeed, starting to feel something about you. Even if he didn’t want to admit it to himself — like, he’s seen you twice now, how could he feel something, right? Right?

“Suguru…” he left his wonders to the sound of your voice so close to his lips. 

“Yes, love?” you two kept your eyes closed.

A brief silence. A laugh.

“...Your face smells like… vagina…” and you open your eyes nearly together.

“I can’t believe you just fucking said that.”  he said, serious. You thought he was mad at you, until a loud stuck-up laugh escaped his mouth. You laughed too, — in relief. “vagina? oh, my goodness.” he was losing his shit now, holding on his knees, his strength evaporating his body. You didn’t know if kept laughing or helped him up, starting to feel a bit embarrassed again.

“Suguru, stop! But that’s it’s name!”

“I know, I know, sorry. I wasn’t expecting you to say that, of all things.” Suguru cleans a tear running down his cheek and standed up again by your side. “of course it does, princess, I just ate the fuck out of your” he pauses, biting his lip not to laugh “...vagina.”  you slap his shoulder. How dare he make fun of you? Damn you, Suguru. You end up laughing with him, though. You didn’t know that side of him yet, he looked really loosened up; perhaps the alcohol in your blood has been passed to him, somehow? You took advantage of his looseness to ask something you’ve been wondering the whole night:

“So, Sugu, where do u know Mimiko from? She’s, like, waay younger than you. Are you a kind of cousin or something?” and there it is, the question Suguru was afraid of the most. He wasn’t ready for you to know about it, he didn’t wish to scare you away; just when you were getting along so nicely. The deep breath he takes after your questioning makes you feel a bit insecure he was, indeed, trying to avoid this subject.

And just when he was about to speak, his phone vibrated inside his pocket and the atmosphere suddenly changed in the room. A deadly silence as soon as he sees who’s calling him — you failed in trying to see it. Suguru murmurs a very low ‘fuck’ to the blue screen and looks back at you, as saying ‘sorry’ with such doggy eyes. You say that it is okay and he kisses your forehead fastly. “It’s from work, I really gotta go, baby. Sorry for that. You know how to go back down there, right?” you nod as he turns around to go. But something stops him just before closing the door behind you: “Please, don’t kiss any other ugly, short and stupid boy while I’m out.” you nod to him for the last time that day, looking upset. “Promise?” he was looking into your eyes, even as you looked away. He knew you were disappointed, but he wasn’t going to leave while you didn't answer him back. 

You look into his eyes from afar, “Yes, I promise, Suguru.” He gives you an honest smile before leaving. 

“Good girl.”

[tb3ih]

A TEST OF ANGUISH (pt. 4), kamisato ayato/reader

SYNOPSIS… they love is not for the weak of heart OR KAMISATO AYATO has more buried in his rib cage than he lets on. 

⋆   warnings, kamisato ayato & fem-presenting!reader, a smidge of confrontation, pain pain pain. ⋆   notes, ayato is actually an allusion to my ex lmaooo.

⋆ tags! @kiyoomiwo @hotgirlshit5 @kunikuzushisbeloved @iamnotobsessed @lightoftheamethyst @xiaosonlybeloved @jcrml @kireeen @isotofl @iiyumii @neverlandlostchild @lumpywolf @mrs-heelshire @nickey-diano @irisxiel @esthelily @chiisananingen @goodsoup101 @the-real-fandom-person @whatamidoing89 @ayatoslovelywife @lorkai @bambambunny @i-3at-kidz @kyauyumira @pineapplesneedrights @atlas-rin @hyunromi @simplyhumanlol

YOUR fingers are gentle as you thread them through sora’s hair, carefully threading the strands together until it’s a braided crown of blue. you’ve just finished tucking in the last bits of hair into her braid when you see the coloring; it’s faint, but her light blue has begun to shift to a deeper indigo at her roots. 

“okaasan, am i pretty yet?” her light indigo irises are fixed on you through the reflecting vanity mirror. sora had sensed your halt in motion, her smile innocent and inquiring. 

you bring an easy smile to your lips, pressing a gentle kiss to her hair before reassuring her. “you have always been the most beautiful to me.” your hands move to adjust to the collar of her formal dress, the light purple blossoms peeking out just over her shoulders. you had this dress made just before you left the kamisato estate, hopeful that she might be able to wear it during summer festivities rather than a trial between two dominant clans. 

a reality which you seem to be so detached from as of late. 

it had been a couple months since you’ve moved out of your old residence, a decision you made in the best interest of you and your daughter, and yet you can’t help the strange welling in your heart at the thought of having to set foot inside once more. 

a house once full of unity, now harboring distrust and tension, you had no choice to bring sora back to it. as the sole heir to the hayashi matriarch and the only child of the head of the yashiro commission, sora could not be absent. 

“sora,” you begin, “i just want you to know… that, uhm…” there’s a lump in your throat and something tickles at your tear ducts. your daughter turns to face you on her chair, her smaller hands coming to cup around your face as her expression fills with worry. “i’m alright, flower, no need to worry.” you bring a hand to place on hers, thumb rubbing softly against the back of her hand in comfort.

“after today, if somethings don’t go the way i planned,” you explain, “i don’t want you to think for even a second that i don’t love you. not ever.” the thought of having to give her up had been tormenting you the past few weeks after the elders had brought into question succession for both clans with the continuance of a divorce. 

between the yashiro commission and the hayashi clan, there was only one legitimate heir. and you’re sure everyone who was anyone in the room would want a claim to your sora. 

“everything will be alright as long as i’m with mama,” sora replies quietly, offering a soft smile. there was absolutely nothing you wouldn’t do for this little girl. 

you press a soft kiss to her forehead. “let’s hope that never changes.”

holding her hand in yours, the two of you leave the room, making it down the hall to the grand room where the most important meetings are held. the few elders which had gathered outside the door lower their gazes and bow, offering you their respects. The guards outside the door stand in position of salute, only moving back to a position of attention when you nod. 

there are whispers among the few which you pass on your way towards the doors, their voices hushed but not quiet enough for you to miss. 

“a pity the yashiro commission has to incur such a loss over a petty issue,” one criticizes. 

“you’d think as a matriarch she’d be more understanding and mature,” the other replies. “it seems ridiculous to stage such a trial between clans, no?”

sora looks up at you with confusion in her eyes, and you simply bring a soft smile to your face, shaking your head in dismissal. “you pay them no mind, flower.” you stop just before the doors, your free hand coming to signal to the door keepers. “vermin who mooch off of their diluted family ties hold no opinion in the court of nobility.”

there are some hushed gasps behind you and you see your daughter giggle, the doors coming to open before you to reveal a larger room of gathering nobles. directly in front of you at the grand table, kamisato ayato sits beside his younger sister, an image of placid indifference reflected in his figure. 

the elders seated in the room took to their feet, offering a bow of acknowledgement as you approached the room. ayato was delayed in his response, standing moments later and offering a deep bow. 

you bowed in response, sinking deeply before returning back to your full height. Akane appeared at your side at once, ushering sora to the side seats where she could sit but remain in proximity to you. 

“matriarch of the hayashi clan, i, kamisato ayato, head of the kamisato clan, greet you humbly. regardless of the outcome, i wish all good intentions during this trial.” his voice is smooth and courteous, but void of any emotion, yet another twist to the knife in your heart. 

“i, hayashi y/n, head of the hayashi clan, wish you well in this fair trial and hope you accept the ruling without protest,” you reply, smile soft and polite. 

you see his jaw tick at this, a feeling of satisfaction settling deep in your bones. 

when the doors open one final time, it is everyone’s turn to bow, for the raiden shogun comes waltzing in, voice calm and level when she asks, “shall we get started then?”

"SHE was born on the kamisato estate, by natural laws she is the kamisato clan’s right!” an elder at the table, whom you recognize to be one of the most senior among those gathered from the opposing party. she only ever liked the number on the profit amount your marriage brought her. “this is inarguably–”

one of the elders from your side stands from his chair, violet eyes seething at the remark. “inarguable? it was not in the contractual agreement!” 

the air is tense with anger, confusion, and stubbornness, all of which you remain aware of yet quiet. your eyes are trained on your husband, his eyes also never leaving yours since the moment the both of you sat down. 

it isn’t until the raiden shogun speaks do the two of you avert your eyes to her. “why are the lot of you discussing the little girl as if she’s a mere object? Have you any respect for the child?” her violet eyes are narrowed and gaze is pointed, as if to pierce straight through anyone who might answer her conjecture incorrectly. 

“n-no, almighty s-shogun–” 

another elder stands, trembling before the archon. “please, we didn’t mean any insolence–”

“and yet,” raiden continues, “i have yet to hear anything remotely negotiable in the past two hours i’ve been stuck sitting in this chair. tell me, have you any idea what the girl is like? taken the time to understand who sora is?”

at this, ayato flinches, the question itself more indirectly intended for him. 

“it is true that by natural law sora is entitled to the kamisato clan,” raiden begins, the faces of all those in favor of the aforementioned clan lighting up in delight, “but after further examination of the justification for the divorce, it would seem that she is, inarguably, the rightful heir to the hayashi clan.”

protest begins to break out amongst the elders and you feel the heat clawing at the back of your throat, the tickle of electricity in the air as everyone begins to overwhelm you. before you can react, there is a burst of blue, water form the shape of blades pointed at every elder in the room. 

“all of you, hush!” it is your husband, hands clenched on the table and expression tight with rage. “had it not been for any of you, we would never be in this mess to begin with!”

the room is silent but for the ticking of the clock. his words ring through your head, a mixture of confusion and anger swirling in the pit of your stomach. 

“the elders?” your voice is just barely a whisper. “i spent nearly a decade wasting away in a loveless marriage and you want to blame the elders?!” 

your husbands eyes are wide when they meet yours, his mouth open as if his words were not meant to be his. 

you laugh coldly. “i knew you were a low creature, but i had never thought you to be pathetic enough to continue blaming everyone but yourself–”

“i do blame myself! i am the only one i blame!” ayato’s eyes are a mix of desperate blue and you’re not sure what to think of it. “i sleep alone and walk past empty rooms where you and sora used to play. i sit at an empty table where we used to eat. i waste away in a home of ghost and absent memories, do not tell me that i do not blame myself!”

“then where were you?” you think he’s unbelievable. “where. were. you? i brought her into this world alone. she received her vision without you. her first summer festival, without you. archons, ayato! where were you?!”

“i thought you hated me!”

“you’re the one who told me we were married for politics!”

“because i wanted you to hurt!”

“why?”

“because i love you!” he is huffing and attempting to catching his breath. he runs his hands through his hair frustratedly, looking around at the room of eyes all on him. lowering his voice, he continues, “from the moment i met you, i loved you, and i have never felt like i was enough and thought of bringing you anything but happiness did terrible things to me.”

you swallow the lump inn your throat. “so you abandoned me?”

he can’t meet your eyes. “i felt if you were too close, you might discover the worst of me. that maybe if you–”

“no. no, ayato, don’t be cruel,” you interrupt, shaking your head. You will not hear any of this. you stand from your chair, a look of anguish on your face when you meet those beautiful cerulean irises. “you have no right to say that.” 

he stands too, hand almost reaching towards you. “my dearest–”

“no!” your voice cracks and you pick up the skirt of your dress, back up towards the doors which you came in. “you can curse at me, insult me, do your worst, but you have no right to plead your love to me!”

sora stands from her chair and comes running to you, her small hands clasping at yours. you gather her in your arms, ordering the guards to open the doors. you turn to face your husband who, having rushed from the other side of the table, stands just meters away from you. 

“you are a cruel man, kamisato ayato.” your eyes are sharp with hatred, your expression twisted with pain. you bow in acknowledgement to the raiden shogun, who nods back. you meet the gazes of all the elders in the room before replying, “this trial is over, i will hear no more of your grievances.”

and you turn and run. you escape. you leave with sora in your arms your past on your tail.

because love shouldn’t hurt. it shouldn’t.

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 5 (coming soon!)

© tb3ih mmxxiv all rights reserved.

[writerslittlelibrary]

The coolest mom

masterlist

summary: you and your mom had always been able to bond over your shared love for motorbikes

pairing: Natasha x daughter reader

warnings: none 

genre: fluff

words: 1020

a/n: This was inspired by a request I got and I just found it adorable! I’ve always went on rides with my dad on his motorbike and it is my favourite thing ever. last year we went on a road trip to Sweden and it was so much fun!

You do not have my permission to repost, copy or translate my work

 |——————————— ⴵ ———————————|

Your mom had always been a big lover of her bike. She had always preferred riding her bike over taking her car. When you came into her life that didn’t change, and it didn’t take long before her obsession with motorbikes rubbed off on you. 

You loved going on rides with your mom and you couldn’t wait until you could ride yourself. 

When you were younger you used to be scared when Natasha went faster. You always felt like you would fly off, and that thought scared you. 

However, Natasha was always there to reassure you. When you would wrap your arms around her waist a little tighter, she’d lay her hand on yours to let you know she knew how you felt. Sometimes she’d slow down a bit if that’s what you wanted.

However, now you were older, and going fast was your favourite thing. Riding at high speeds simply made you feel free, and there was no better feeling. 

------------------------------------------------------------- 

“Hey mom, we have to go! I’ll miss class!” you yelled through the house as you stuffed your lunch into your schoolbag. 

“One second!” you heard a voice yell back. 

You sighed as you rushed to put your shoes on, knowing it would definitely take longer than a second. You liked being on time. There wasn’t a single occasion where you were not on time. However, Natasha felt a little different about that. 

She wasn’t a late person in the slightest. She was more of a, perfectly on time person. Something that bothered you beyond beliefs. 

“Mom!” you yelled once more as you went to pull your jacket on. 

Natasha walked into the room, putting her jacket over a chair as she reached for her shoes. “Calm down, sweetheart. We won’t be late, I promise,” Natasha smiled gently as she tied her laces.

“You don’t know that, mom. Traffic is terrible at these times,” you explained as you crossed your arms, waiting for your mom to finish. 

“Traffic won’t be a problem,” Natasha simply stated as she reached for her motorbike jacket. 

“Put on your jacket and change your shoes,” Natasha stated as she walked towards the garage, taking your backpack and grabbing her keys on her way. 

You smiled excitedly as you quickly changed your shoes, grabbing your jacket and rushing after Natasha. It wasn’t often that she took you to school on the motorbike, so when she did you were more than happy. 

When you walked into the garage you saw that Natasha had already put on one case on the back of the motorbike. She put your bag into it before she opened the garage, rolling the motorbike outside while waiting for you to grab your helmet and your gloves. 

Once you were all dressed up in your protective gear (because no matter how experienced Natasha was with driving, she would never ever drive herself, or let you drive, without protective gear on) Natasha helped you on the motorbike, starting it and driving it to school.

Everyone at school knew who your mom was. I mean, obviously they did. Their class mate had the actual Black Widow as a mom. 

Of course, Black Widow or not, Natasha was still the coolest mom at the whole school. Nothing beats that feeling of everyone staring while you have the coolest entrance to your school day. 

------------------------------------------------------------- 

School itself was boring, to say the least. 

Luckily, when it was finally over Natasha had driven back to school to pick you up, and instead of driving home, she drove the bike to the beach. 

Once she parked it she helped you off, locking the case at the back of the bike to keep your bag safe. 

You took her hand as you walked onto the beach, heading for the beach cafe to grab some hot chocolate. 

“How was school?” Natasha asked as you were walking over the sand, the beach cafe already in sight. You simply shrugged in response. 

“School was school. Some assignments here, some homework there, you know, the basics,” you told Natasha as you kicked some of the sand. She simply hummed in response.

“So what do you wanna eat? We can do dinner at home, or we can grab some fries here?” Natasha asked.

“Can we eat fries and watch the sunset?!” you questioned excitedly, hugging Natasha’s arms and looking up at her with big eyes. Natasha let out a laugh. 

“Of course we can my love,” Natasha stated as she gave you a kiss on your forehead. 

“Go pick out a spot. I’ll order us some hot chocolate,” Natasha said when you arrived at the beach cafe, motioning her head to the soft couch like structures outside. 

You nodded as went to pick the best spot, giving you the perfect view over the ocean, and hopefully, the sunset. 

Once Natasha came back with two hot chocolates she settled into the seat beside you, enjoying the little warmth that the sun still radiated even at this time of day. She sighed contently as you cuddles up into her side, laying your head on her shoulder and crawling as close as you could to her.

“Hey,” Natasha started, nudging you slightly. “You know I love you more than anything in this world?” 

You giggled and blushed slightly, lifting your head to give Natasha a kiss on her cheek. “I love you too,” you told her, laying your head back down and snuggling into her side again. 

After eating your dinner and watching the sunset, you drove home in the nice cool air of the spring evening, enjoying the slight afterglow the sky held as the sun fully disappeared out of sight. 

You wrapped your arms around your mother’s waist just a little tighter, laying your head on her shoulder as she drove through the small roads that led from the beach to the big roads. You knew that you would never feel as content as you did right now. 

(I’m so sorry I feel like this is trash. It’s messy because I didn’t really have a storyline. I promise I’ll have something better for my next fic)

Permanent tags: @marvelnatasha12346 @lesbionion @nova-kyle @darkstar225 @saraaahsstuff @marvelwomenarehot0 @screechcat @iheartjohansson @simp-erformarvelwomen @swaqcenix @karmasgxrl @marvel-lous3000 @mxximoffswifey @lorsstar1st

[thezombieprostitute]

Dream Come True - Part 1

Summary: The “Garbage Men” are the guys in the mob who get the dirt on others and clean up after the higher ups. They have many different ways of gathering intel by running legitimate businesses. One such business is Jefferson/Jensen’s cyber cafe where you regularly go to work. You’ve actually become good friends with Jefferson’s daughter and Jensen’s niece. You even volunteered as their after-school tutor. One day, there’s a robbery attempt where you get hurt protecting the girls. This is how you are introduced to Curtis Everett, the guy in charge of the “Garbage Men”.

A/N: Reader is plus sized, femme. No other descriptors used.

Warnings: Shooting mentioned, not written. American healthcare system. Bullying with an emphasis on fat shaming. Please let me know if I miss any!

Part 2

Series Masterlist

Curtis stormed into the manor. Normally he didn’t care for visiting the higher ups, surrounded by their opulence but this wasn’t normal circumstances. He headed straight for Steve and Bucky’s office, the folder Jake compiled for him under his arm. As much as Curtis wanted to act on this he knew he had to get permission first, as Mace kept reminding him. 

As soon as he entered the office, the Bosses greeted him. 

“The nieces are okay?”

“Yes,” Curtis replied. “We did a priority background search on the would-be thief. Found no connections to other families so he was likely just an idiot trying to get some quick cash.”

“And the guy who took the bullet,” Bucky asked.

“She is currently in the hospital,” Curtis felt his fists tighten, thinking about her situation. “It wasn’t life threatening, just a quick surgery but she’s not gonna be allowed to walk for a few weeks.”

The bosses nodded their heads, “you made sure Beck is her doctor?”

“Yup. But there’s a hitch that I need permission to fix,” Curtis took the folder out from under his arm. “She got fired for missing some big meeting. First person she called was her boss, to explain what happened, and the asshole fired her over the phone. Now she’s trying to leave the hospital way too early because she’s scared of not being able to afford the care.”

Steve and Bucky looked astonished at this information. “Who the hell fires someone for that? Especially when she has the proof to back her story,” Bucky huffed. “You got that information, right?”

“We got it months ago when she first started tutoring the nieces,” Curtis affirmed. “Had to make sure she wasn’t someone playing the long game.” He handed the folder to Bucky who opened it. The men took a few seconds to find her boss’s name. Curtis was pleased to see Steve’s eyes go steely with anger. 

Steve looked at Curtis, “I’ll make sure he gets handled.”

Bucky cut in, “for now, work with Huffman to get the paperwork settled. Officially, she’s been employed by us, as a tutor, for months. We’ll make sure the backpay gets added to her account. Beck and Jensen can work to make sure her insurance goes back as well.”

Curtis nodded his thanks and left to go back to the hospital. Hopefully she hadn’t succeeded in leaving.

“Please,” you plead through tears, “please just let me go home.”

Dr. Beck shook his head, “that would be wildly irresponsible of me. You have no emergency contacts, which tells me you have no one to help you out at home. You need to stay off of your leg for at least a week and you need help to do that. If that means keeping you here for that week, so be it.”

“I can’t af-” 

Dr. Beck interrupts, “I’ve been in touch with some people, namely the family of those two girls you rescued. You’re not paying for anything and they insist you get your full rest here.”

“I…” you’re flabbergasted at the news. Jake and Jefferson had always been kind but you never got the impression they were so well off they could cover someone else’s medical bills. You can’t stop crying. It’s been a tumultuous day.

There was a knock outside the privacy curtain and a deep voice asking, “is it okay to come in?”

“Yeah, come on in,” Dr. Beck replied. “Been expecting you.” He turns to the source of the voice. Walking to your bed is a tall, muscular man with a buzz cut, beard and the most piercing blue eyes you’ve ever seen. You blink back tears and try to compose yourself. Crying around medical staff is one thing. Crying around strangers who might not be used to tears is something else.

“I’m Curtis,” he holds out his hand to you.

“Hi,” you shake his hand, confusion written all over your face.

“I’m here to inform you that you do, in fact, have medical insurance. You also have backpay.” Curtis starts putting paperwork on the patient table in front of you. “You’ve been tutoring my nieces for several months. The least we could do is make sure you’re being paid for your time, complete with benefits. Just need you to sign a few things.”

“What?” Far from answering your questions, you find yourself even more in the dark. “I…I don’t understand…”

“You helped my family,” Curtis replied. “Not only did you offer your time and patience, you’ve given your health and well-being. The least me and mine can do is take care of you.”

“I, uh,” you hesitate, trying not to insult, “are you sure you can afford this?”

“Yes.” There was no room for argument in Curtis’s tone. His face was stern and you discerned no cracks indicating he was lying in any way.

“I don’t know what to say,” you whisper.

“Don’t say anything,” Curtis tells you. “Just sign here, here and here.”

With a look to Dr. Beck, who gives you a reassuring smile and nod, you take the proffered pen and shakily sign where Curtis tells you to.

“And, with that,” Curtis gently smiles, “you were officially hired by us three months ago as a private tutor for two of our nieces. When you’ve recovered, you will return to your work and we may have more for you to do.”

Ransom was having a great day. His ugly assistant missed a big meeting and he finally had grounds to fire her. She'd been hired by his grandfather so he couldn't just get rid of her without a reason. He even encouraged her remote work so he wouldn't have to look at her. Now he could hire an assistant on his own and actually pick someone easy on the eyes.

It's not like the job was difficult. He needed someone who could research stuff he needed to know for his writing. Anyone could do that. He could, too, but he didn't want to and could afford to hire someone else to do it for him.

He was in the middle of writing up the job ad when the door to his office slammed open, making him jump. Steve Rogers was glaring at him as he strode into the room.

“Rogers,” Ransom smiled. “To what do I owe the honor?”

“Did you hear what happened to the nieces today?”

“Jake and Jefferson's girls? No.” Ransom was genuinely concerned. Those girls were spoiled by everyone in the families but they still managed to be the sweetest people he knew.

“There was an attempted robbery at the shop,” Steve continued, walking closer and closer to Ransom. “They were nearly shot by the idiot. Thankfully, they were rescued and someone else took the bullet.”

As Steve sat down on the desk Ransom started putting some pieces together. He wasn't an idiot. The nieces almost being shot and his assistant actually being shot? It would also explain the rage emanating from Rogers.

“The woman who took the bullet requires a lot of medical care. But, of course, she can't afford it since her asshole of a boss fired her.”

Ransom gulped, “I can hire her back. Say it was a moment of anger, a mistake that never should've happened.”

Steve stood and pulled up Ransom by the front of his sweater, forcing him to stand on his toes. “Do you remember,” Steve growled, “why we had to send Lloyd into exile?”

“Too many casualties?”

“Close. He viewed people as expendable. This family got started by helping others. Helping the Unions. Supporting the communities. So when you treat someone like that, you disrespect all of us.”

Steve let go of Ransom’s sweater, setting him on his feet. Without warning, he punched Ransom in the stomach so hard he doubled over.

“You are on notice,” Steve told him. “You've been straddling the line for some time now. But one more slip, and you're gone. Understood?”

Ransom coughed, “yeah, I get it.”

“And you don't have to hire her back. We got her a much better boss.”

Part 2

Tagging @alicedopey because I promised I would.

@dontbescaredtosingalong

@icefrozendeadlyqueen

@texmexdarling

@veltana

@winter-soldier-101

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged.