#but after crying over our happy ending for the millionth time. i really want to

[sakitenmaenjoyer]

okay narrowed down what i'm want to tier on en. this all depends on my self control-

i'm currently saving crystals for never give up cooking! and energy cans for tsukasa's angst focus (phoenix). after that i'll save up crystals until possibly pandemonium, and save up energy cans for our happy ending. if i dont spend on pandemonium, i'll save until the third anniversary (💀)

[dailypositivequotes]

personal and long life update

I feel comfortable to say this now. This is going to start sad but get better.

TW: miscarriage

Two years ago was the worst summer of my life. I was excited and happy as school ended because my spouse and I found out we were expecting a child right before the end of the year. We initially didn't tell anyone, was going to wait. But then I started to have issues and I talked to my mom about it and my fears that something was wrong. My mom ended up letting me know she was having health issues and they found a mass. And on the same day my mom was diagnosed with cancer I miscarried. I will never forget crying and telling her on the phone and her sighing sadly and saying she had hoped one of us would have good news. I was traumatized. I felt betrayed by my body. I felt betrayed by the universe. I felt like a failure. I felt like it was my fault while knowing it wasn't. I lost a lot of faith in things. I was angry and grieving. I was terrified I was going to lose my mom like I lost my child. And then one of my siblings was in a major car accident (they're fine now but it was really scary and I thought I'd lose them too) and our beloved bearded dragon died. Loss was all around me. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't even say the word miscarriage for a whole year. Therapy was extensive on it among other traumas. And one thing that also sticks out from that summer is "Running Up that Hill" was popular cause Stranger things aired its new season. I broke down any time that song came down because of the line "I'd make a deal with God and I'd get him to swap our places" made me thing about my mom and my lost child. I told family members. We previously were having pressure from family members on children and the LAST thing I needed was someone asking me for the millionth time when I was going to have kids. Fortunately family was understanding and backed off on the topic. My one sister was pregnant at the time too and we bonded over the fact this was her rainbow child, something she had not shared with any family member and I was able to go to her for support that other family couldn't provide as they never experienced this. Another thing from that summer is disassociating because I love my sister, I was excited for her and her baby, but the topic was very raw for me. I know I attended her baby shower but all of it was blur. And the final thing from that summer / year was I was also obsessed with trying again and "getting it right this time" because I didn't want to face reality or the grief I was having, and honestly...every failed month was also extremely triggering (for reasons I hope are obvious enough for me not to say) so I'd spiral again. It's taken a lot for me to be where I am now.

Since that summer, we got a second dog. Trained our first dog so she is officially a therapy dog. We both were in therapy - individual and couples. We strengthened our marriage. My mom beat chemo and radiation. Currently, she does not have cancer. Discovered I have a medical anomaly, and learned it doesn't stop me from successfully having kids but I could have a trickier time getting there as there were other complications it brought into my life. (Which honestly discovering this, and that it was something I was born with, answered SO MANY questions). We worked out together and made healthy meals together. We stopped obsessively TTC and just focused on us, loving our life as is, and healing. We discussed in January of this year about seeing a specialist and possibly starting fertility treatments in the summer if we felt we were in a good enough place for that. It was a very good, chill and no pressure conservation. In Feb. was the anniversary of would have been due date and therapy, coping skills from therapy, and planned activities helped a lot of with my mental health that day. And then in March, after my dogs were acting weird about me and I was feeling off as well, I discovered I am pregnant. Sure some anxiety immediately spiked but I am doing okay. I think if this would have happened sooner I'd have not been okay mentally due to the anxiety of the past repeating, but I've worked on a lot of trauma from that awful summer and I decided I would celebrate every second of this and if its a shorter journey than I hoped, so be it. I did have an emergency session in therapy during the week of pregnancy that was the one I miscarried at previously since I couldn't quite shake the nerves then. However, this time and last are night and day. All tests and appointments have come back healthy. Symptoms are what they should be. Everything is looking good and I am thankful. I am filled with gratitude. I have a good feeling. My family and my spouse's family are excited, who we told in April as I learned I'd rather lean on people for support if I needed it than grieve or celebrate in silence. My students and co-workers just before the end of the year realized I was pregnant and both set of people were very excited for me. My students created a lot of cards for me. We are excited. I am halfway through the pregnancy. I have seen him (through ultrasounds). I've heard his heartbeat, and am so thankful that it is so strong. And I've felt him kick just now. I am at peace.

[amakumos]

wish you back ― sim jaeyun.

― synopsis: even after having to break it off with you to fly to seoul, jake still thinks about you daily. he still has the small polaroid picture of you tucked neatly into his wallet, he remembers the exact scent of the perfume you used and he watches your favourite movie every week. even after so long, jake still waits for you - hoping that maybe, just maybe, he’ll be able to wish you back and hold you in his arms again. ― genre: angst, exes to .. hmm who knows actually LMAOOO ― pairing: non-idol! jake x gn! reader ― word count: 1.1k ― warnings: swearing, open ending, jakes in his emo era and he misses u ― author’s note: fun fact i love han jisung’s songs. and your name. i remember watching it with my dad and crying. anyways here’s the closest thing to a happy ending you’ll get from me rn … 🤣🙏 Jk maybe not... ― taglist (send ask to be tagged in permanent taglist!): @c9tnoos @ja4hyvn @jaywon @shinsou-rii @sqnwo @isaluv @primorange @ryuflix @bearseulgs @baekhyunstruly @hsngarchive​ part of my 500 event!​

i. 

“Our timelines weren’t in step. If time can really be turned back, give me one more chance.” 

Aren’t we just so similar, Tachibana Taki? Jake thinks. He throws the piece of popcorn in his hand back into the bowl as he chuckles bitterly - it’s funny how he watches this movie every weekend just because it reminds him of you. 

Give me one more chance. 

The five words that Jake has yearned to say ever since he flew to Seoul, leaving you behind and breaking his own heart in the process. He still remembers the way his hand fit perfectly into yours, he remembers the scent of your perfume and your smile that seemed to be brighter than the sun itself. 

Your relationship was like a classic romance movie, the one that was picture-perfect. Two teens, hopelessly in love - forgetting about the world around them when they were together.  

If Jake was a movie, you were the main character in it. 

So why did he go and create an unhappy ending? 

He was stupid and dumb for making that horrible decision - he feels empty without you. At the time, it seemed like a logical reason. Long distance would’ve been hard, but Jake hates how he didn’t even think about trying to make it work. 

Jake, maybe you should move on. 

Words that everyone tells him whenever they see him watch Your Name for the millionth time, or when they see him stare a little too long at the polaroid picture of you smiling brightly tucked neatly in his wallet.

Maybe Jake doesn’t want to move on, though. Maybe he wants all the memories of you and him together to be engraved in his mind forever. He doesn’t want to think about the day where those memories start becoming hazy. He doesn’t want to think about the fact that he could forget about you. 

So he chooses to stay like this. Wishing you would come back to him - wishing he would get a chance to start over with you once again. 

“I wanted to tell you that...wherever you may end up in this world, I will be searching for you.” 

Jake can only wish that he’d be able to say those words to you.

ii. 

It’s Jake’s birthday, and Heeseung had organised a birthday party for him. 

Jake knows he should be happy on a day like this, but oddly, he has never felt more upset. 

Maybe he woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

Or maybe, it’s because he had confessed your feelings to you on his birthday, three years ago. 

He remembers the exact moment - frosting smeared on his face, and you had stuck the candle into his cake right after smashing it into his face with a huge grin on your face that made his heart flutter. “Make a wish!” 

I wish for you to be my girlfriend and for us to stay together for a long time.

Jake closes his eyes, blowing out the candle. When he opens his eyes, he’s met with your bright smile, and his heart does another somersault. “What’d you wish for?” you ask, and Jake chuckles. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” he asks, and you pout. “Tell me!” you say, and Jake suddenly feels a little bit bold today. It’s his birthday and he feels on top of the world right now - but his world would come crashing down if you rejected him. 

Fuck it. 

“I wished for you to be my girlfriend.” 

Shock flashes across your features, and Jake thinks he might have just fucked everything up until he sees the wide grin spread across your lips. “Hmm… your wish is granted!” you say, giving him a quick peck on the lips, and Jake just stands there, dumbstruck. 

“You...actually like me?” he stammers, and you nod, your eyes shining brightly. “Why wouldn’t I, Jakey?” 

He hears the loud noise of a party horn in his ear, and he grimaces, realising that he was just thinking of a memory. Sunghoon stands there with the party horn in between his lips, slinging his arm over Jake’s shoulder. “Happy birthday, bro!” he says, and Jake smiles awkwardly. 

There’s a saying that goes: “Your birthday wish will only come true if you keep it a secret.” 

It’s a stupid one that Jake never believed in - but after breaking it off with you, he finally realises that it’s somewhat true. The first part did come true - you did become his girlfriend. But the second part… not so much. 

Jake doesn’t even know where you are or how you’re doing and he hates it - what if you’ve moved on? What if you’ve found someone better, someone who didn’t make stupid decisions like he did? 

Jay suddenly walks up to him with the cake in his hands, and Riki sneakily pokes a finger into the frosting, smearing it on Jake’s face. 

The cake is pretty, seems to be done professionally and is guaranteed to taste good. But Jake can’t help but prefer the cake that you made. The one that looked a little rough around the edges, the frosting not being piped on as smoothly as the one he sees in front of him now. He liked it better, because you made it. 

“Make a wish, Jake!” 

The scene is almost too familiar to what happened three years ago. 

As stupid as it sounds, Jake feels like your presence in this exact room, somehow. He doesn’t know why, but oddly, he smells lavender and orange blossom - the scent of the perfume you used. I must be thinking things again, Jake shakes his head slightly. 

“Quick, the wax from the candle’s gonna melt onto the cake!”

Jake knows exactly what he wants to wish for - he doesn’t even need to think about it. There’s no hesitation in his mind as he closes his eyes before blowing out the candle. 

I wish for you to come back. 

“What’d you wish for, hyung?” Jungwon asks, and Jake shakes his head, not wanting to tell.

“I’m not going to tell anyone. Haven’t you heard that your wish won’t come true if you say it out loud?” Jake says, and Jay groans. “Come on, nobody believes in that!” Jay whines.

“I do.” Jake says.

“You’re no fun, Jake hyung.” Riki crosses his arms, and Jake shrugs. “Whatever, happy birthday, Jake! You’re a year older!” Heeseung says with a wide grin, and Jake nods with a small slightly forced smile. 

It’s strange how he still can’t get the scent of lavender and orange blossom out of his mind. 

The next morning, Jake wakes up with a box that he’s never seen before on his nightstand, and he quickly tears open the packaging to reveal a bottle that makes his eyes widen in shock. 

Not just any ordinary bottle. It’s the bottle of perfume you used - lavender and orange blossom. 

There’s a small glimmer of hope in Jake’s chest, and he can’t stop the small, childish giggle from escaping past his lips. Maybe, just maybe, his wish would come true.

I hope you know I’m still waiting on you. 

[theduosetter]

━ 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐓𝐰𝐨 𝐎𝐥𝐝 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐌𝐞𝐞𝐭 ║𝐊𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐨 𝐓𝐞𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐨

☆ Pairing: Au!Kuroo Tetsuro x f!reader

☆ Summary: Two broken hearts never truly heal no matter how many years pass. Maybe because the only person who can heal it is the one who caused the tear.

☆ Warning(s): angst, fluff,

☆ A|N: any feedback is appreciated! If you can please give it a heart or reblog it would really help my writing. Thank you!

Kuroo sighed for what seemed the millionth time today. His mind kept wandering off somewhere else, today felt different. There was something within him saying that today wasn't going to be the same again.

His phone vibrated once more alerting him of another incoming message. The screen lit up with the name Nanami. His lips moved as he saw the words spread out on the white background. Closing his eyes he leaned back against his office chair.

"What's with your face?" a voice spoke.

Kuroo rolled his eyes, "Nothing is wrong with my face, Kenma."

"Liar." he placed the folder down on his desk, "Is it Nanami?"

"No..." he half smiled "She's great actually... things are good between us right now."

"For someone who says that it sure doesn't look like it." Kenma said "Could have fooled me."

He sat up and looked at his friend, "Is there something that still needs to be done?"

Kenma shook his head "No everything important got taken care of."

Standing up he grabbed his blazer and put it on. "If anyone else calls can you take care of it?"

"Ok." before Kuroo could make it out the door, Kenma then asked him "Are you going to be alright?"

"I'll be alright. See you tomorrow..." he slightly smiled then took off.

Your feet grew tired as you kept walking the busy streets. The sun was just about to set down on the ocean. Even though it was warm, the air was nothing but fresh, the perk of living near coast.

A small smile formed on your lips as you saw kids running around the nearby playground, playing with their friends. It was the purest sound in the world; you thought.

There was never a doubt in your mind that being a mom was a gift. You hoped one day you too would have the chance at raising a mini you or a little boy that looked like your partner.

Your phone then rang. You quickly took it out of your bag and accepted the call.

"Hey love." you said "I'm on my way back home."

"I can't wait to see you." he said, making your chest tighten "I might be preparing something delicious for tonight."

"Really?" you asked "What's the occasion?"

He smiled, leaning back against the sink. "What, I can't just do something special for the love of my life?"

Your smile faltered as you remembered those words. Those were the ones that hurt you the most, even after almost 10 years.

"Of course you can." you replied "Can I have a hint on what it may be?"

"You would figure it out right away like last time. I'm not making that mistake again." he chuckled.

"It was one time, h/n." you smiled small, "Do you need me to bring something home from the store? I'm close to it."

"Pick out any drink you want to have and dessert if you'd like."

"Okay now I'm really curious about what you have up your sleeve, boy." you chuckled.

He bit his lip, smiling as he heard your laughter. "Don't take too long, alright?"

"I'll do my best love since it is rush hour. Wait for me?"

"Like you have to ask." he leaned over checking the food "I can't wait to see you. Text me when you get to the station."

"I will, love." you bid him goodbye and hung up.

It's sad how he has tried his best to make you happy and yet there's never a moment where something doesn't remind you of him. All these years you still wonder about how he's doing with his new partner. If he could accomplish the goals he had set out for himself. Even the thought if he maybe... still thought about you like you did.

Sighing, you shook your head "Stop it... you can't keep doing this to him. You're with h/n now not with him, he chose you agreed. No more second guessing." You mumbled.

You were about to turn left at the end of the playground when a stranger collided into you. Your feet slipped from underneath you. The bar that was put up around the playground was too far away for you to hold on to. Folding your elbows back, you opened your hands wide so you could stop your head from hitting the pavement.

Lucky enough, the tall stranger reacted in time and pulled you into him to avoid you injuring yourself. "I'm so sorry, are you alright?"

"Y-yeah... I'm fine..." you replied "That was close- wow I almost fell-" you tilted your head up and your breathing stopped.

The stranger kept their arm around your back, holding you against his chest. His eyes roamed the details on your face, from your eyes to shape of your lips. His heart was pounding against his chest, not believing you were in front of him.

"K-Kuroo..." you muttered.

"Y/n... I never thought I'd see you here." his brain couldn't wrap around the idea that you were here.

Realizing your chest was too close to his, you gently stepped back. Your cheeks flushed "I- um... I-I work around here."

"Right..." he mumbled "I thought you had stayed in Tokyo, is all."

"I got a job offer awhile back." You said "I've been living here ever since. What about you?..."

He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling shy suddenly. "I'm working with a company on a project along with Kenma."

"Wow... I knew Kenma was in town but didn't think you'd be here as well."

His head shot up "You spoke to Kenma?"

"Yeah..." you answered "He reached out to me and asked if we could meet up. I've been busy so I haven't had the chance..."

"Why didn't Kenma say anything to me?..." there was hurt in his eyes from the sudden news. "I thought Kenma of all people-"

You cut him off "I told Kenma that I didn't want you knowing. Don't blame him..."

"I see..."

The cars passed by, not knowing or caring about the two ex lovers on the sidewalk. Every person was moving on with their lives, focusing on getting home to their families.

You tried your best to calm your emotions. It was difficult to keep the facade up. Your body was itching to be again in his arms. "I should get going... goodbye Kuroo." you walked passed him hoping to forget you ever saw him.

However, Kuroo didn't want to let you go again this time. "Y/n, wait!" he yelled as he ran after you.

"He's not calling my name..." you repeated under your breath "He's not calling my name." Ignoring the loud sounds coming from the cars, you crossed the street.

"Y/n!" Kuroo yelled louder as he reached for you and held your wrist gently in his hand.

Looking over your shoulder, you made eye contact. "What are you doing, Kuroo?..."

"We need to talk." he gently spoke "It's been too many years."

"There's nothing to say about anything." you looked into his eyes "We both have our different lives, let's focus on that okay?"

"I don't want to walk away from you and regret it for the rest of my life again." Kuroo begged, "Please, give me a few minutes to talk with you...please."

Looking down at your watch, you saw you had some minutes to spare. "Okay..."

He let go of you, "Come on, I know where we should go." you followed him to the nearby bridge that was above an intersection along with shops down the street. You walked up the stairs and sat down on a bench that was in the middle of the two stairways.

It was awkward. As the seconds passed by, all you could think of were the things you wanted to say but felt afraid of saying it out loud. You were timid when it came to expressing how you felt since you were in high school. Yet when you met Kuroo that barrier was destroyed only for it to be rebuilt again a few years later.

"What did you need to tell me?" you asked, playing with your fingers.

"I'm sorry for how we ended things." your movement stopped "I thought back then that it was for the best. I didn't want to continue fighting every time with you. The amount of times we ended up apart became more frequent than the times we had ever spent together." His gazed was fixed on ground feeling too vulnerable to look at you "I didn't want to keep hurting you."

"I can't believe- why now?" you asked "Was that the reason you chose? You didn't want to stay and fixed things so you let me go?"

"We couldn't make things better and you know that y/n." he answered "Every time we tried it put distance between us more and more."

You closed your eyes trying to not let the tears fall "It's the fact that you lost hope in us that hurt Kuroo, not the breakup."

"It hurt me too..." he explained "But it hurt me more knowing you were suffering and not giving you the happiness that you deserved."

"I didn't care..." you sniffled "All I wanted was to be with you and solved it together. I kept on trying to find an answer as to what I did that was so wrong that made you leave me."

"What are you talking about-"

"You seriously don't remember?" you looked at him "The things you said to me that day... when I asked you why and all you said was because I didn't love you anymore, I don't want to stay by you. It's for the best Y/n go find your own life and forget about me."

He looked away, closing his eyes tightly. "I didn't mean to sound harsh..."

"But you did." you wiped away your tears "What hurt was the fact that you acted happy the last few days with me then suddenly... you ripped it off like a bandaid Kuroo..."

"I know..." he said "I know I fucked up- I kept thinking back every day after what happened."

You got up from the bench "Why did you pretend you were happy with me?"

"I wasn't pretending!" he exclaimed, getting up as well. "I was happy being with you."

"Could have fooled me... because knowing this now and you not remembering what you told me makes it harder to believe anything you say!"

"I need you. Trust me when I say that I still love you y/n." he stated.

"I-I can't..." you muttered, covering your face.

You were a sobbing mess, and it broke his heart that he was hurting you again when he vowed never to. Kuroo stepped forward slowly, trying to approach you.

"Please don't cry..." he said.

"I'm just tired of this... feeling this vulnerable and thinking about you," you admitted, "when I should focus on my future and not on the past..."

Kuroo stood in front of you, "Do you still love me?..." you didn't answer. He carefully took your hands into his own as he uncovered your face. "Do you still love me?..." he repeated himself.

His touch was arm, your head was dizzy. It's been so long since you were this close to him again. 'Did I still love him?' you thought, trying to figure out the answer on your own.

He gently wiped away your tears, "Because I haven't stopped Y/n... no matter where I'm going or who I'm with my mind goes back to you."

"Where was this 7 years ago?" you questioned "This love and worry you have about me? How you don't want to see me walk away from you again. Why did you show it too late to me? I wasted so much time wondering over someone who never once batted an eye to me when I saw you on campus those two years after our break up. I almost failed because my emotions were all over the place. If it hadn't been for the friends I had I wouldn't have moved on. Now you suddenly see me again one day and you confess you still love me? When you had chance after chance to tell me but chose not to." you clenched your jaw "You don't get to comeback and tell me you love me... it's not fair."

"I lived with the ache in my chest whenever I saw someone or something that reminded me of you. Out of all the y/n's in the world and each time someone said your name I turned around it hopes it was you but came empty every time it was a stranger." he breathed out trying to not break down in front of you but it became impossible. His voice cracked "I-I... still wish everyday that it had been you... y-you by my side a-and not someone else..."

"I wished we had met when we were older and wiser..." you whispered "Maybe then... this pain wouldn't exist within us."

He held your hand to his chest holding it tightly as he closed his eyes, trying to memorize your warmth. "We didn't know what to do... we were young and naive thinking love was such an easy thing to feel." he sniffled "It would be so easy... so damn e-easy... to say I'm sorry and start all over again. To go back to the days where were in l-love... without any problems..."

In all your years you had known Kuroo it was such a rare sight for him to cry and breakdown in front of you. After years, you were surprised to see he didn't feel shy or embarrassed of showing it to you again. It's like he had grown.

Gently you cupped his right cheek and he leaned into your touch. "I still do love you Kuroo..." you confessed "It scares me that I haven't been able to move on without you."

"I'm so sorry..." the pool of tears he held in his eyes were finally escaping "Maybe things would have worked o-out... if we had- no I had expressed my feelings earlier and told you how I felt from the beginning. If I had opened up myself up to you more and not runaway from the only person that had ever made me feel a whole. But I can't... I-I can't turn back time that was then and t-this is now..."

It was late. Yet hearing those words that you had dreamed for years to happen finally did. Life was definitely funny sometimes. One day you can keep convincing yourself you don't need that person that you're fine without them, then have it change with one interaction.

Smiling weakly you wiped away his tears. He smiled small feeling your thumb gently move against his cheek. "I can't believe I'm saying this but..." a chuckle escaped your lips "After all we've been through and still you make my heart beat like a teenager all over again."

"I would do anything to see you smile, Y/n." his eyes shined brightly as the sun's light reflected off his hazel orbs.

Your faces began to grow closer to one another. The space that was in between you two got shorter the longer you stared into each other's eyes.

"There's not anything else in this world that makes me happy as you do, y/n." he said.

Your foreheads gently rested against one another. His hands held your own tightly and brought them up to his lips. It made your stomach grow butterflies again.

Closing your eyes you focused on his touch not on the sounds of traffic. "I’d have my heart broken all over again if it meant that I could have those first six months with you."

He added "Those were the best months of my life."

Your phone then vibrated with messages coming in all at once. Kuroo freed one of your hands, you unlocked your device to see they were from h/n.

"Shoot..." you bit your lip.

"Is everything alright?" he asked.

"My...um boyfriend... is asking where I am..." you answered feeling conflicted as to what would be the best thing to do.

"You call him and reassure him you're okay." he said "If I was in his place I'd be worried too."

You were surprised by how mature he was, nodding you dialed his number. After a few seconds h/n picked up. Kuroo stood by your side and waited for you to finish.

"Y/n! Where are you I've been worried sick!" he exclaimed.

"I'm sorry... I saw a friend and they needed to talk to me. I didn't mean to make you worry." you explained.

He breathed out in relief knowing you were okay. "It's okay, I'm glad you're okay. Are you on your way back home or are you still with them?"

"I'm still with them I didn't realize it would take long. But I'll be going to the station soon to grab the last train home." you answered.

"Alright, are you sure you don't want me to go pick you up?" he asked "I don't want anything bad to happen to you."

"No don't worry I'll be home soon. I'll make sure to keep you posted okay?"

"Okay, please be careful. I love you." he said.

"I will, see you soon." you hung up then looked at him. "I should get going, Kuroo."

"I understand." he kissed your forehead softly "You don't owe me an explanation okay? Let's take it one step at a time. And if you still want to see me then I'll be here waiting for you. Like I should have done in the beginning."

Your heart swelled with joy that you wrapped your arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. He smiled softly hugging you back tightly, "I missed you so much." you spoke burying your face in his neck.

"I missed you too, Y/n." he rested his chin on top of your head "Can I take you home?"

"I'd like that."

It didn't matter how long it took, he wasn't going to mess this second chance he had with you. He would wait a year if he needed to to be alongside you again. You were his world.

[hobipaint]

Graffiti and Chalk- two

summary: You thought you knew him. You thought him gone. Kim Taehyung was part of you that you had carefully suppressed, keeping his memories to one box near the wall of your mind. That was your fault, though - empty walls demand for art. And who other than your own neighbourhood vandal?

↳ pairing: ex police student turned vandal! taehyung x officer! female reader

↳ genres: angst, fluff

↳ word count: 9.6K

↳ disclaimers: pg15!, vandalism, police officers, criminal past and heavy discussion of it, mentions of character deaths.

one | two

a/n: FINALLY AFTER A MONTH IT'S HERE! This took me really long to write but I'm pretty satisfied with how it turned out : it's my longest work yet, and I feel like it would be among my best as well hehe. a massive thank you to @kookiestarlight because i swear i completed this in the first place because of tasha, @swcetnight who pointed out exactly where I need to elaborate stuff and places in which I was loosing parts of the plot because did I forget the whole storyline while writing this 🤡, @vaekth because this bby is absolutely amazing. she's supported me throughout the process of writing this, thank you so much!! thank you to @taecup-fics for beta reading this at the last minute and pointing out a bunch of grammatical errors because otherwise this would be a mess to read 😭 to everyone who has waited - I'm so sorry that it came this late, I suddenly had a bunch of exams that were announced and had to focus on those. Hopefully this lives up to your expectations!! Enjoy reading :)

Morning often dawns with a feeling of hope. With wistful sights of sunrise. Flowers open up to the golden haze that thaws the frost of the night. Birds roam the skies that had been but mysterious domains in the dark. People wake up with groans about the impending day, hopeful for it to end soon. You hoped for your mornings to always be similar to this- some constants were needed in places where you had cases as bewildering as missing pumpkin plushies piling up in your office. 

Your morning today, though, was much different. Much to your annoyance. 

You held the coffee you had brewed for yourself - another espresso, the universe knows you needed it - and handed one to Taehyung just as the cuckoo perching on the clock shrilly announced that it was eight in the morning. 

"Do you still have no answers for me, Y/N?" Taehyung looked at you. His eyes were sullen - no signs of the cheekiness that had peeked at you last night. Scattered rays fell across his body, highlighting the sunken cheeks, brooding eyes and tight smiles you could now see better in the daylight. 

You sighed- probably for the millionth time this night. "I do not understand your question, Taehyung." 

"You remember it. I've asked you thrice since I saw you again, Y/N. Do you not remember anymore? Do you not care for me? Was our idea of us nothing for you?" He looked at you with a myriad of emotions written all over his face- you looked away, not wanting to see them. 

Sighing, you gathered your thoughts the best you could. "Like I said, Taehyung." You looked at him- looking at the person you once fell in love with. The feeling you felt today, though, was much different. There was a feeling of running towards him, taking him in your arms and remembering who he was to you all over again, but it was overwhelmed by the confusion you felt - should you prioritize a past that wanted answers, or a future that was unsure? For now, you chose none pushing the time to make that decision further ahead. "We were an 'us' for only a few hours. Until you stood me up."

He rolled his eyes."That wasn't intentional, Y/N." 

"And how was I supposed to know that, Taehyung? I thought it was, since you had never told me anything beforehand."

Taehyung's eyebrows bunched together, as if coming to hear the stories that his eyes longed to tell- stories of events that you had never seen and never known. "Would you not hear me out, even once? For the sake of our old love?"

You bristled. "What love, Taehyung?" You got up to stretch your legs out, looking at the patchwork blanket that was stuffed in the corner. You had taken that for your first date with Taehyung, planning to cuddle with him and watch the stars - a date that never happened. "What love? A love where you don't speak to me for weeks, and then vanish for some crime? We were young then, and I got hurt then as it is. There's no need to go over this right now." 

"That was not my fault, Y/N. You know that." Taehyung seemingly sunk back into his chair, eyes downcast. "I had said I loved you. Before I ever went out with you." 

"Like that matters,” you scoffed, “what's the point in reminiscing promises from an old love?"

"At least, hear me out?" He looked up at you with hope sprinkled in the abyss of his eyes. "I don't want you to forget me."

You turned back to your chair, tearing your eyes away from the blanket that was now a pale blue in the sunlight - a few shades lighter than the cerulean colour it would be in the afternoon. "Not now, Taehyung." 

Taehyung sighed, looking at the floor, tension exhaled into the room. He sat silently for a few seconds, the ticking clock announcing each moment clearly to you. "That's fair. It's just.." He looked back at you. "I'm used to thinking of you as the person I loved." He nervously let his eyes pan around the windows, gazing at the sunshine that streamed through the window, before turning back towards your gaze. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I'm just really grateful for your presence-" 

"Taehyung." You sharply interrupted him. "Two years ago, when your case was reopened for investigation. Who did that?" 

"They told me that it was a well wisher in the neighbourhood. Another jailor said it was for good behaviour." He shrugged. 

You scoffed aloud, more loudly than you would have liked him to hear. 

He frowned, lips drawn in a tight line in annoyance. "Don't believe me? I'll have you know, Y/N, I was among the most well behaved at prison. Absolutely no tantrums. I even ate the salt-less, disgusting food they'd give there. No crying. Nothing. I can show you later on if you want, I think I have a report stuffed somewhere here," He got up, shuffled towards his bag and checked the last zip, hunting for a report you had never heard of. 

"It was me." 

Taehyung whirled around to face you, unruly hair swinging like the seats of a carousel at a carnival, and raised an eyebrow. "What were you?" 

"I was the one who insisted on opening the case for reinvestigation, the case of your stepfather's assault. Went around collecting evidence, searching for people who knew about your family better, getting their voices recorded, finding about the whole deal to frame you and stuff. Nearly got fired." You shrugged, sipping your espresso and wincing- too bitter. "You're welcome, by the way. The coffee is getting cold." 

"I don't care about the coffee." He moved the cup aside - nearly spilling the liquid, roughly settling back into the seat he had been occupying for the last few hours. "You were the one who asked for re-opening the case?" 

"Just said that." 

He slumped back in his seat, and your eyes took in how he spread himself out on the chair, tiredness lacing his figure. "I didn't know that." 

"Now you do." You said, sipping your coffee and watching Taehyung do the same. 

Taehyung stared blankly at you, and you couldn't fathom what was swirling in those ebony orbs of his. "Why did you do that, Y/N?"

"Honestly," you smile softly at him, "I was expecting a thank you."

"You should have expected questions, Y/N. Why did you help me?" Taehyung's blank expression made way for a confused one, eyebrows furrowing and lips pouting. 

"I did what I had to do as a-" You paused here, unsure of what to say. "As a friend, Taehyung, nothing more. I knew you were innocent-"

"How were you so assured?" He pressed on."I could be a complete 180 from the man I met you as. I could be fake. I could be an impostor. I could-"

"You could do a bunch of things, Taehyung." You stared him straight in the eye, trying to keep your emotions at bay. "But you could never tell a lie." 

Taehyung scoffed. "You sound like one of the wishy-washy pick-me kind of girls in the movie. No, I don't lie, but I could." 

You sighed. As much as you cared for Taehyung, you had never really cared for his argumentative attitude. "I went with the assumption that you were the same person I knew, Taehyung. The one whom I respected and trusted. I acted on that feeling." 

"That wasn't trust, Y/N. It was naivety. You were naive to believe me." Taehyung paused, uncertainty lining his forehead as he spoke. "You shouldn't have trusted me." 

You rolled your eyes- you couldn't understand why he was so desperate to make sure that you remained aloof from him. What had you done to be treated like that? What had he done to force everyone away from him? 

You tried to play off his remaining doubts and frustrations as insecurities he developed while in jail, and moved on."Alright then, you impostor. I was naive to trust you. And even more naive to believe you. Happy? Now shush. I don't want to talk about this." You tried to clear your mind of any doubts you had about Taehyung, but his behaviour, the way he interacted with you - it couldn't help but increase the worry and confusion in your mind.

Taehyung leaned forward to look you in the eye before smiling softly at you - you couldn't understand why. You were going to give him a criminal record, maybe arrest him. You were potentially ruining his life again, and he smiled at you. "If you say so, officer." Taehyung said, settling into the chair - leaving your mind reeling with questions you weren't sure you wanted the answers to. 

You opened the laptop again, wearily. "Let's get back to the questions; the sooner we finish this, the better. Where did you source the paint from?" 

"You mean the graffiti? And chalk?" You nodded. Taehyung sighed."Terminology, Officer, terminology. Make no errors." He raised a finger to wave at you, as if to say no. You rolled your eyes -it seemed that you were the only one concerned about what would happen to him after this, because Taehyung quite clearly was not. "I bought it with the allowance money that was kept for me in the bank- as much as I hated that man, his cards proved to be useful."

You raised an eyebrow, skeptical. "You didn't steal it." 

"No. Took it from my step-father's account. Technically, now mine. Apparently he left everything to his children, and I'm the only one alive that I know of. Maybe he had other children- I wouldn't doubt it for a moment if he had, but that doesn't change my right to his money either." 

"Any other members of your family who had been granted access to that account?" You asked, wanting to make sure that there were no loopholes - you didn't want a future possibility of Taehyung being entangled with the wrong side of the law again. 

He rolled his eyes, leaning further. "Curious little thing, aren't you? Like I'd told you last night, most of them are dead. Mom had died a few months before I was arrested - thanks to my stepfather being an alcoholic and taking everything out on her. Grandmother already had massive health issues - she passed away after two years of me being in jail - they had let me come out for her funeral."

"My siblings - a brother and sister, if you remember - were taken in by a distant relative, and the last time I spoke to them was three years ago. I'm not allowed to contact them because I might end up being a 'bad influence'," he air quoted the words, laughing mirthlessly. "Guess they won't be too delighted to see me again. You probably know about my stepfather - got drunk and passed out. Permanently. But yeah, that's all. I'm pretty much the sole benefactor from that account."

Hearing how nonchalantly he spoke about it, you were forced to maintain a strong face and be professional. You couldn't possibly think of even wanting to comfort him in any way. "So, you were absolutely not stealing."

"Nope. No. Not at all. Want any further repetitions?" 

"That won't be necessary," You said, having typed out the information - tracking his expenditures would also be necessary now, apparently. "Any expenditure you make shall be monitored, now. Be careful."

"Always have been." He chuckled, getting back to spinning the glass on the table. "You know me." 

You ignored him. "Your cards will be tracked, and any loose cash will be checked by us. If we feel that there's any room for suspicion, you will have reason to be monitored." 

An odd silence filled the room while you tapped away at your laptop, filling in more details about the incident. Taehyung would be having a criminal record again, you thought to yourself. It was the only thought that echoed in your mind. It made you feel uneasy in a way, but you swallowed your unease down. There's a promotion to focus on. 

"Taehyung, something has been bugging me since I caught you vandalising." You shifted a little bit, before deciding to spit out the question. "Why did you do it?" You leaned forwards on the table, elbows digging into the wood as you tried to grasp the answers from him. 

Taehyung looked you in the eyes, and then looked away. "I don't know."

"You don't know." You raised your eyebrows, leaning back incredulously. "Taehyung, that's not an answer." 

"I did it because I wanted to. It was fun. I'd see kids in the morning pointing at my graffiti work and they would like it. There would be people claiming it looked good. I felt acknowledged and I just-" He pleaded, unable to continue without pausing to recollect his calm. "I felt like doing it. After years of having questions raised at me for committing a crime I never did, I finally had people talking about the work I did. Even if it was just chalk drawings." 

You exhaled in confusion. The Taehyung you had known - he was never like this. Confident, assured, independent. That was what he seemed to you when you were younger. And now, to see him want to be validated by others who never even cared for him- it felt ridiculous to you. Why was his only way of feeling validated involving something against the law? "Okay, then." 

You went through the complaints that had been registered against him, hand resting against your forehead as you asked him the most commonly asked question. "Why the insignia 'V'?" 

"V for victory?" He made a 'V' sign with his fingers, "I liked to think that I won against the world by rebelling against its sense of black and white. I saw everyone talk about it, and I felt like the same people who had once pointed fingers at me, blaming me for something I hadn't done, were now pointing fingers at something I had done - I felt victorious. I didn't need to show myself and possibly want more than I had already let myself have - this was enough for me." 

You pulled your lips in a tight line, and hummed in response - there were two places that together had put in about twenty complaints, so you had to respond to all of them. You kept reminding yourself that neither did you have the space to feel sorry for him, nor did you have the power to say sorry to him. You simply kept your head turned to the screen, typing in answers to all the complaints. 

Taehyung leaned forward after a few seconds. "What punishment do you think I'll get, Officer?" 

"If the chief is feeling good, maybe you'll get community service, with a fine," You looked up at him. "Or maybe some time in jail." 

"How much time?"

"Maybe a month or two?" 

"Oh." Taehyung slumped back into his seat nonchalantly. "Cool then." 

How was he this calm? You thought to yourself. He might be going to jail. For a second time.

"Yup." You shut the laptop, finally, after hours of typing information and recording it. Sighing, you lifted the porcelain mug once again to absolutely drain it of coffee, your rather loud gulps echoing in the silence of your office. 

Taehyung tapped his fingers on the table- probably some old tune he had learnt before. You remembered that he played the saxophone - from nights of serenading tunes that he had played for you with his beloved instrument. "How long do you think the chief will take to reach here?" 

"A few hours, maybe? I'd expect him around ten, to be honest. Nevertheless, let me check." You quickly called the chief on your phone, hearing his ringtone play some old Korean trot song before it was picked up. 

"Hello, yes, yes, Y/N. I expected your call." A gravely, rather rough voice responded to you- like it hadn't been used for a few hours. "I shall be reaching the office around eleven. Keep Taehyung with you." 

"Yes sir," you said, keeping the phone on your table and turning to Taehyung.  "The chief said he'll be here by eleven." 

Taehyung nodded in acknowledgement. 

"It's nearly eight thirty now." You looked at the cuckoo clock again. "Would you like to freshen up?" 

"Where?" Taehyung asked, eyes widening. "Shouldn't I just be at the office?" 

"Yeah, you should. My place is right here- the back of this office is where I live, so you'll be fine." You look down at his clothes, grease, paint and metal shrapnel all over them. "Besides, you look like you need a change of clothes." 

Taehyung stepped into your house with an air of curiosity, to see how his once classmate was living. His head stooped low to enter through the small door you had, eyes widening in surprise when he found that the hall of your house was larger than he had anticipated. 

The house was quaint, a hall with an old couch which doubled as a bed when needed. There was a table in the middle of the room, too low to be a dining table and too high to be a center table. For coffee, maybe? There were maybe five or six magazines scattered haphazardly over it, covering nearly every inch- except for one corner, where Taehyung spotted a shining acrylic blue. 

You, however, spotted what page you had left a magazine open at. Squeaking, "I'm sorry!" you ran to shut the booklet close, afraid that Taehyung would spot your love for shirtless men. 

Picking up the magazines, you grinned sheepishly at him. "Just a moment! I'll be back, a bit of cleaning to be done, sit right here!" You patted the couch, trying to convince Taehyung. 

Taehyung turned away from the pictures he had been observing- was there one of you both? - and nodded, eyes widening in surprise as he saw how you scuttled away to hide the magazines. He looked around again, taking a feel of your house- it seemed like the old you. There was some patchwork embroidery you had left in a corner, atop what seemed to be a showpiece? Taehyung stepped closer to see it in detail, and was amazed at the way you had managed to drag the red thread over and over the pink fabric to make floral designs. It reminded him of the rose he had been trying to complete the previous night, and he grit his teeth. He shouldn't be thinking about that now. That shouldn't be what he does anymore. No more.

You came back, looking quizzically at him. "Take a seat, Taehyung! It's alright." 

"Uh, yeah." He shuffled over to the couch again. "Did you make that?" 

You looked in the direction his finger pointed to. "Yeah. Tried doing embroidery for stress release purposes." 

Taehyung grinned at you. "Stress release?" He asked, bemused. 

"Yup." You said while making sure that the magazines were well hidden. "The department I wanted to be in was forensics, you know?" Taehyung nodded, he had been privy to most of your discussions about the advances in forensic technology and analysis - even if he didn't understand anything, he knew your love for it. "Well, they didn't allow me. So the whole 'stress' thing began." You walked back to him, making air quotes as you emphasized on stress. "My mother suggested embroidery would take my mind off it. So, that incomplete piece you see there?" Taehyung nodded, concentrating on every word that left your mouth. "That started a few days ago." 

"It looks like it's complete, though- are you really good at it?" Taehyung looked at you again, turning back from the embroidery you were now rising to get. 

"Pretty much? It's easy once you get the hang of it." 

"Ah." Taehyung said, a dull silence settling into the room for a few moments as Taehyung looked around your room.  

"That picture." He pointed, and you turned your head around. The picture he was focusing on was on your mantelpiece, resting happily. The frame had butterflies stuck on its corners, two large and two small. The border was white, now off white, and had pink dots in certain places. It was a picture of fireworks- red, yellow and blue mixing together in a dull sky to breathe life into the picture. And right in the middle, surrounded by this liveliness, were you and Taehyung. Beaming. 

Taehyung turned to, finger still pointing at the picture. "That's our picture, right?" 

You hummed in affirmation. "That's us, freshman party. We had known each other for a few weeks at this time."

"And I had stopped someone from asking you out, right?" Taehyung reminisced. "That was fun." 

You snort. "You had punched him in the face when he asked for my name, Taehyung." 

Taehyung smiled. "I didn't want anyone to harm you, Y/N, and he seemed like he would harm you." He spread out his arms and grinned smugly at you. "In a way, I rescued you. That night." 

And so many other nights, you wanted to say. For all the time you had known Taehyung, he had been fiercely protective of you - for reasons he never truly told you. You didn't question it either, basking in the feeling of being wanted by someone. 

You cleared your throat, hoping to clear your mind as well. "You should go take a shower, Taehyung." Glancing at the clock, you noted the time and motioned towards the washroom. "It's nearly nine. Go take a shower, call for me if you need anything. I'll go get some clothes for you."

Taehyung nodded, rising up slowly to go in the direction you pointed. "Towels are inside," you shouted after him, and he yelled in response to say he understood. In some ways, too many ways, he felt like the Taehyung you once knew. 

You went to your room to pick out some clothes, opening your meager collection to salvage something that would fit Taehyung. Your eyes scanned over your uniforms, jumpsuits, jeans, t-shirts and finally landed on the hoodies- probably the largest collection in your wardrobe. Thankfully, you loved large, loose hoodies. You started pulling them out, holding each one up and imagining Taehyung's proportions in them. 

The red one, with blue paw prints. "Nah. Too tight." 

The black plain one. "That's mine, I'm not sharing that." 

The grey ones- nearly three. You skipped over all of them, not understanding how none of these oversized hoodies would seemingly fit Taehyung. He'd gotten humongous, broad shoulders and everything. 

You picked out a few more, trying to see whether it would be a fit. None worked. 

When you picked up the next one, you could already picture him wearing it. It was the hoodie you had taken from Taehyung during the first year you knew each other. You looked at its loose sleeves, stretchy from you tugging Taehyung behind you with it way back then. The green fabric of the hoodie was slightly pale in a certain spot - you had spilled soda all over him in a fit of anger.

During your forensic chemistry class,  the teacher didn't recognise their mistakes in the procedure (they used the wrong test for detecting the sample, and blamed it on you), and you were pretty miffed the whole day. Taehyung had bought sodas for the two of you, having planned to go stargazing later on. And you, in a terrible mood, flipped him off in a way that had the soda spilling over him. You cried, Taehyung laughed, but the hoodie was still stained. You took it with you later on to clean it - but the stubborn stain never left. You were agonized, Taehyung amused, but the hoodie- it was still stained. Taehyung had laughed it off, telling you to keep it with you for as long as you wanted- he could buy a dozen more hoodies to last him till then. 

When you left to head home that winter break, you had taken the hoodie with you. You had taken it on your date, crying on its sleeves when you were stood up. And when you came back, Taehyung was suddenly a criminal. 

You shook your head to remove the memories of that time, holding the hoodie in your hand and gently caressing its sleeves. So many memories were held in these threads that meshed together to form the fabric of your youth. Good or bad? You didn't want to dwell on that. 

"Y/N? Could I get the clothes now?" Taehyung called from the washroom. You picked up a extra large pair of cotton shorts and a hoodie, and passed it to him without really thinking- you'd done it before when he got drunk at college too, having him come over at your place, shower, change, and practically behave like a couple- at least, that's what you had thought of it then. 

Get it together, Y/N, why are you thinking about that? 

"Thanks!" he shouted again, grasping the clothes with his fingers and whisking them away to the confines of the washroom. 

You gripped at your hair and pinched your cheeks. You couldn't keep thinking about the old Taehyung. You didn't know if it was truly him anymore. 

"Uh, Y/N?" Taehyung stepped out of the washroom, the previously oversized shorts clinging to his thighs for dear life and the hoodie snugly fitting his figure. "I think it's a bit tight, but I'll make do." 

Your eyes widened in horror; Taehyung looked like he was moments away from bursting the shorts. "I'll get you new pants, wait a second. These ones don't fit." 

You turned back to your cupboard, looking for the loosest bottoms you could find. "I think the hoodie still fits though, right?" 

"Yeah." You heard Taehyung right over your shoulder, scaring you. 

"Jeez, when did you get this close to me?" You turned to face him, crossing your arms, looking at his hair which still had droplets sticking to its edges. 

"When did you get this far from me, Y/N?" His eyes bore into yours, sweetly intense eyes gazing at you like it was the first time he saw you. "What happened?" 

You shrugged, not wanting to answer it. You picked up a loose pair of denim jeans that you had found stuffed away at the back of your closet. Pushing it into his hands, you told him to go change. 

Apparently, your instructions fell on deaf ears. "What happened, Y/N? Answer me. Please."

You moved your gaze to his clothes, not wanting to focus on the thoughts that rushed back when you thought of him. What had happened? You moved your hands to your sides, resisting the need to hold him and know him all over again. "The hoodie looks good on you. Would you-" 

"So do our hands." He held yours, snugly fitting his palm- your calloused fingers against his calloused ones, heat burning in the sleeping embers of your palm. His eyes gazed at the joint fingertips almost reverently. "They fit well."

"Taehyung, now is not the time-" You begin, cut off by his frantic breathing.

"When is the time, Y/N? When will I get to live? When will I get to feel like a human? When will I be innocent?"

His hand caressed your palm, touching your forearm, your elbow, your shoulder, and your cheek -leaving a burning trail behind him everywhere he touched. You shivered. "Do you know how long I have wanted you, Y/N? Years. Seven years, now. I have loved you for years. I have wanted you for years. I did all sorts of things to remember you while in jail- kept asking for you, kept calling for you. I didn't want to forget you, Y/N. Not you. I couldn't forget you, no." 

He pressed your palm to his chest, and you could feel a dull thump echo through the clothes, reverberate in your palms. "That fire, Y/N. My passion in the promises I'd made to you. It never went anywhere. I always loved you. I always will. You can't make me leave again, not again. Please, no." 

He held your palm up to his cheeks, not regarding the tears that were streaking your cheeks and his. "You feel me, right? It's me. Taehyung. I am the one you trusted. I'm the same. Trust me again. Please." 

You tried to hold back the tears that threatened to slide down your cheeks, not wanting to pain Taehyung anymore. He held your forehead to his, pressing on the back of your head to meet his - upclose, you could see the redness that clouded the shine that his eyes would normally have. You couldn't hold back your tears anymore, nearly whimpering when you saw how broken he was- sirens swimming in the whirlpool of his eyes, singing songs of misery. "You know me, right? Do you know me? Do you recognize me? Kim Taehyung, police cadet. Your friend. Your classmate. You know me, right?" He asked, nose nearly brushing yours. "Do you know me?"He cried, eyes washing over the fire that ignited behind his pupils. You didn't see a vandal, or a criminal, or a friend. You saw a broken man. 

"Taehyung, oh, Tae," you cried, putting your hands on his shoulders, watching him slink down to the ground as his body trembled and shivered. You wrapped your arms close around his figure, unable to understand his pain but just wanting it to go away. 

You sat like that for a while, coaxing the tears and short whimpers out of him as he held onto your fingers, wanting to remember something he once had: you. 

"I always asked for you, you know that?" Taehyung shivered as he spoke, even if the chills of the weather outside barely seeped into your home. "I always loved you. I don't know why they kept me there for so long, Y/N. I didn't do anything wrong. I don't know why I'm made to feel like this…" he trailed away, tears gathering at his chin as they endlessly flowed down his cheeks. 

You glanced a nervous eye at the clock, wanting to make sure that you get to the station- no matter what happens. The bubbling of water distracted you from the ticking of the clock, and you turned off the stove. Scouring your cabinets for a chamomile tea bag was hard, but you knew you needed it. Taehyung always seemed to calm down with tea - you had used it multiple times before. Times of which you have multiple memories. Times you wish to forget. 

Why did I ever love Taehyung? The question kept echoing in your mind as you leaned on top of the kitchen counter top. Things would have been so much simpler if simply looking at him wasn't so hard. His smile, his behaviour, his tears - it was all but a painful reminder of what you could have been if things had gone different. If only. 

You poured the hot water into the mug you had settled on the kitchen top, watching the water bloom into a serene shade of yellow as you dipped the tea bag into it repeatedly. You prepared one mug, then another, hearing the soft declarations Taehyung kept repeating while he was seated. 

All you had wanted to study was forensic science, and that was simply for one reason: you didn't want to interact with people. 

People are complicated, over emotional beings. and you couldn't help but feel helpless every time you had to encounter a suspect. You would constantly be told by your professors to see them as lawbreakers - but all you tried finding was signs of humanity in them. That even the most vicious killers had scope for reform. That's why you stuck to the subjects you wanted - you were good at finding signs of life, not squashing them. You consistently failed those classes, without any doubt. And today, it seemed like all those classes were laughing at you. 

"Here." You handed the mug to Taehyung, who muttered thanks. He rubbed his hands once or twice on the pants you told him to change into and took a sip from the warm tea. You resisted the urge to reach out and wipe the tears that lined his face, and try and wipe the scars of the past that had scarred him so badly - but you couldn't. You were a mere spectator in the game of his life. You couldn't possibly do anything other than hurt him more. 

"Thank you. For letting me express all of it. I could finally say everything that I wanted to before I was forbidden from speaking about it again." Taehyung tapped against the mug, fingernails resting on ceramic as the sun slowly headed westward. "I'm sorry that I've been such a burden to you, Y/N. I wonder if I can do anything to reduce the pain and confusion I put you through - I doubt I can." He looked at you carefully, though you couldn't tell what he was thinking. "Thank you." 

You let his words echo in the room, preoccupied with your thoughts. It hurt you to see him so broken, and you couldn't help but worry about him. 

"Taehyung, I-" You opened your mouth to respond, watching Taehyung pay attention to every move you made - only to be interrupted by your phone loudly ringing. 

"Sorry, this must be important." You got up to get your phone, watching Taehyung slump in his seat from the edge of your vision. 

"It's the chief," you announced, picking up the phone. 

He got straight to the point. "Come to the station, soon. Bring Taehyung with you." he told, his voice laced with a rather sharp edge- a tone that you had recognized in the years you had worked under him. Things were- most probably- not good. 

You responded with a simple "yes", mind dwelling on the impending result that Taehyung would get. You felt that it would be unlikely that he would be going to jail- at least, you hoped so.

Turning to Taehyung, you tried to hide the fear and shakiness that lined your voice. "Let's go." 

Taehyung sighed, playing with the mug as he rose up. "It's time, isn't it?"

"Good morning, Sir." You greeted the chief as he hurried into the small office, giving Taehyung a glance and then facing you. 

"Morning." He gruffly responded, turning to your laptop. "We found an eyewitness for the vandalism, so we are getting them for the interrogation as well." 

"Another interrogation? We've already done it, sir, and all the information is recorded here. I doubt it will be necessary-"

"Please, Y/N," He calmly said. "Leave the decision about it being necessary to me." 

You stepped back, subconsciously edging closer to Taehyung - a move noticed by the chief as well. 

"Y/N," he began, "I need to speak to you. In private. Step outside for a few moments, please." 

You nodded, briskly walking towards the doors and yanking them open. There was a warm gust of wind that blew across your face, and you turned to face the chief. 

"Y/N," the chief began, before pausing for a moment, "Officer Y/N. I'm going to need you to think clearly now." 

"Yes." You set your features as tightly as you could, not wanting to seem distracted in any way. 

"Do you have any type of bias in this case, perhaps due to your past relation with him?" he looked quizzically at you, as if trying to decipher an enigma scribbled onto your face. 

Your blood chilled, for some reason. Were you having any bias? "No, sir." 

The chief hummed - you couldn't make head or tail of his reaction. He kicked at a pebble before continuing. "From the recordings I heard the previous night in the office, and the way you let him come with you to freshen up a bit, one particular thing has struck me: you were trying to find reasons for Taehyung to be justified as a victim, weren't you?" 

You gulped before responding. "Yes, sir. I believe the culprit committed vandalism as a coping mechanism to get over the hurt caused over the years." 

The chief sighed heavily. "Well then," he said, "I suggest we continue with our investigation, and find a way to make sure the culprit in the matter is stable as well. We can't have repeated cases like these - we have a reputation to uphold for the police as well." 

You nodded stiffly. "Yes, sir." 

The chief sighed again, glancing at the street. "Our witness should be here soon." He turned to you again. "Funnily enough, she volunteered as a witness with CCTV backup to claim that Taehyung had vandalized her shop too. Apparently she heard you arrest him last night - so we have to hear her out." 

The chief turned again to the road, eyes narrowing in hopes of spotting the witness soon. "The investigator whom she contacted has said she is a reliable witness, but I'm going to need to verify her statement nonetheless." He turned back, heading into the office.

You stared at the road that the chief was looking at before - the direction from which the supposedly reliable eyewitness would come, before heading back inside. 

Taehyung was still slumped in his seat, fingers tracing drawings all over the pants you had given him. The chief was shuffling around behind the desk, pulling two spare chairs ahead - one for Taehyung, you presumed, and one for the eyewitness - whoever that would be. 

"Mr. Kim Taehyung," the chief began, "there has been an eyewitness who has offered their testimony - whether it is to defend you, or further establish evidence of you vandalizing public spaces, I'm not yet aware. We shall be interrogating them - and maybe you, as well, now." 

Taehyung rose up from the corner he had settled into, and shuffled into the seat the chief had set for him, wordlessly. 

The door opened to reveal an older lady, dressed in a purple shaded hanbok, hair delicately pulled back into a tight bun and eyes peering around the whole office in curiosity. She found the chief, walking closer to the desk where he was arranging the records. "I'm here as the eyewitness..?"She said, looking at both you and the chief. 

"Ah, yes. I presume you're Ms. Park?" The chief asked, pulling the chair out for her to settle into it. Under the light that shined across her face, you could make out the wrinkles that lined her skin and the greys in her hair - not that that was relevant to what would happen. 

"I saw him vandalize the outside of my store a few days ago," she earnestly began, pulling out pictures that she had taken of the design on her window.  "I'm a florist, you see. His designs are clearly inspired by that, aren't they?" She pushed the pictures in front of your vision, and you could see what she meant - the designs of orchids, hibiscus and asters stared back at you, intricately painted onto the glass windows of the florist's shop. 

She pulled out more pictures. "There's been similar instances all over the neighbourhood- the other florist had a rose, the school received drawings full of children's stories and fairy tales, and had their walls painted with similar stories. In fact, the restaurants around here even said that their menus were drawn onto the streets, right in front of their doorstep." 

The chief looked at the pictures carefully, with you peering at them as well, taking in the detail that Taehyung had while he worked while making each of his works- no, vandalising, you corrected yourself. He raised an eyebrow at the eyewitness, who seemed to shrink into her seat. "What does this bring forward as evidence for or against the culprit? We already know what the crime is, and its details. We just have to determine a punishment- either a hefty fine or jail. Do you have anything that can justify him getting exempted from either?"

Ms. Park looked at you and the chief before turning to Taehyung apologetically, placing a hand on his knee - as if consoling him. "I think that at the end of the day, all he was doing was beautifying the neighbourhood, wasn't he? And most of the residents here don't have a problem with it-" the chief looked at her incredulously- "so please, don't punish him or something. A lot of people appreciate his work in our neighborhood, you know?" 

"But we have been receiving complaints about him since the past few days," the chief said. "Why the sudden change in opinion?"

Ms. Park fidgeted with the hem of her hanbok for a few moments, shaking her head nervously. "Some of us shopkeepers were really bothered by it at first, yes, but we also had some customers come over to inquire about the artwork. It looked professional to them. So we came to an ultimatum : we will let this young man paint and draw for us, on our walls, as much as he wants - as long as it's pretty," she emphasized, one hand patting her chest, "we'll pay him to do it." 

You held back a sob as you saw Taehyung's eyes glimmer - a ray of hope shining in them.His knee bounced up and down- a habit you knew was something he had had since years - and he smiled softly when Ms. Park squeezed his hand. You felt like things were finally going to go well. The chief exhaled roughly before rubbing his forehead, glancing at Ms. Park, who smiled at him in the hope that he would understand her reasoning. 

"The law, honestly, doesn't care about intentions- I don't think I really understand why I should even let him go. Vandalism is a punishable offence, and the perpetrator has been aware of its consequences. Why the sudden feeling to save him?" The chief questioned, eyes steely and tough. 

Ms. Park hesitated for a few moments. "I believe he deserves a second chance." She pulled her chair ahead, the metal ends scraping against the tiles, and pleaded once again. "He was arrested for years for something he hadn't even done - and now, might face a few more months in the same place for simply being artistic. I don't think it deserves punishment."

"That's for the law to decide, not you, madam." The chief sternly said. "I suggest you leave such decisions to us."

The room remained tense and quiet for the next few moments, and your eyes were trained on Taehyung. You noticed the quiver in his hands, the way he shrunk into his chair - as if to hide away from whatever the upcoming decision would be. 

Ms. Park was the first to interrupt the loud silence. "Oh, come on. Let me just pay for the boy's bail." 

The clock chose that moment to loudly announce the next hour: was it eleven? Twelve? You weren't paying attention. You only saw the way Taehyung rose up from his seat - in happiness, you thought - with fists sticking to his sides. "No. I won't accept it." 

You felt the chief look with just as much disbelief as you did. Why was he so hellbent on being a perpetrator when he could be free? 

Ms. Park laughed. "No. I'm not listening to that whole self righteous thing that you probably have," she swatted the air with her hand, as if to push away any explanations Taehyung could give.

"Look, ma'am. I have the money to get a bail, or even pay the fine. I don't want you to pay for me and then hold it above my head like a massive favour you have done for me." Fire blazed in his eyes as he spoke up, rather indignantly. "I can take care of myself." 

"To hell with that attitude," Ms. Park said. "I decided to help you because I didn't want you to suffer once again because of misunderstandings." She pulled Taehyung back to sit on his chair, clasping his hand between her wrinkled ones. "You had to go through so much pain at such a young age - no one deserves that. I was a mere bystander at the time you were arrested, and I regretted it then. I still regret it now." 

She sighed before caressing the back of his hand lovingly, thumb gently pressing on the skin- as if to feel the pain those hands had to go through, and you thought you saw a hint of a tear on his cheeks. "So don't question me for 'saving' you, or something - what you did was perfectly fine for me. I love the way my street looks now, and so do the neighbours. All that really remained was the artist's identity- and now that I know it's you, I don't feel any sort of guilt in justifying what you did." 

You were right. Taehyung was crying. It wasn't silent tears that rained gently down his cheeks, it was a whole thunderstorm. You saw the chief turn away, from the corner of your vision, but you couldn't bring yourself to do the same. He was biting on his bottom lip to hold back any of the sobs or whimpers that came, head lowering to hide the tears. 

Ms. Park simply caressed his hand, over and over, till he calmed down enough to wipe his tears with his free hand. And when he raised his head up, you saw him like a new person. The wound up Taehyung you had met again a few hours ago was slowly vanishing - in his stead, there was a free Taehyung who smiled like the world's burden had been lifted off his shoulders. "Thank you," he murmured. 

The chief sighed again. "I still don't understand how it came to this." 

"Neither do I," Ms. Park laughed. "But it is what it is. We'll pay the fine."

"I'll do it," Taehyung started, only to be shushed by the elder lady. "I want to do it. Let me do it." She turned again to the chief, the bubbly happiness giving way to seriousness. "You can make sure he pays the fine, right? Withdraw the complaints for us too." 

The chief looked at you and nodded, and you got to work - carefully opening the laptop again and making sure that you transferred the report from 'investigation' to 'resolved', and that the complaint was withdrawn. 

The chief, meanwhile, made physical records of it, and informed Taehyung of the fine - which, despite his insistence, Ms. Park paid off, whipping out a cheque she had kept ready, somehow. You added the details to his resolved record as the chief dictated them to you, keeping them for future references - which you hoped would only be needed to prove his innocence in any situation. 

Nearly twenty minutes of details, questioning, and a written assurance from Taehyung that he would be liable to arrest if he continued illegal activities, it was done. Taehyung was free. 

The chief read over the details once again, thoroughly, eyes getting heavier and softer with every document he checked. Once it was all done, filed, and you had stacked the records back in the drawers they were placed in, the chief sagged into the chair, hands clutching the steel arms for support. 

"Thank God," he whispered, eyes closed. "You're fine now." He got up shakily, hands wiping at his eyes to erase any traces of the tears that had possibly leaked out. He walked around the table, reaching for Taehyung - as if beyond the lines of that desk, his duties as an officer stopped and those as a teacher resumed. "Don't you dare do that again, Taehyung. Never again." He held his student by the shoulder tightly, gripping him and shaking him a little - like a parent would scold a kid. "Live a good life, please." 

Taehyung nodded frantically, eyes still wide in disbelief as he ignored the grubby tear streaks on his face. "I will, sir." He had his hands placed politely in front of him, trembling fingers clutching onto the rough denim fabric of the old, loose jeans you had made him wear. 

"Live well," the chief repeated again, thumping Taehyung's shoulder once and then turning around to collect the documents he would need to take with him. He bowed to Ms. Park, who acknowledged him before something at a corner of the small office caught her eye, and turned sharply to you. "Officer Y/N," he began, and you tensed a little bit more. "There was an opening last night in the forensic science department that I got notice of," he said, a smile tugging on the edges of his lips when he saw how your demeanor brightened. "Reach the head office tomorrow in the morning at ten, and I'll give you the details. All the best." 

You hastily held back the sudden smile that threatened to split on your face, smartly saluting your senior before he turned around to leave the office. As he opened the door, you felt a burst of warmth all over your body - the heat of the sunshine rushing into the room. 

Ms. Park walked from her corner to Taehyung, taking his palm between hers and squeezing. "I'm happy that you're free now, Taehyung." She looked carefully at his face - sternness making way for soft concern, and said, "Live wisely. If you need money, or a job to get you started, come to my shop - it's the one you painted with orchids. You remember it, right?" 

Taehyung responded with a rather choked 'yes', nodding his head frantically. He placed his other, trembling hand upon the lady's hands, and solemnly thanked her. 

"That's not needed, I told you." She smiled, before patting his cheek. "You deserve to let yourself live, so use this chance well. Work hard." She turned her head to look through the window behind her, groaning a bit at the sight of the brightly burning sun. "I better leave now - it seems that I'll end up getting a sunburn the nearer to twelve it is." She turned back to Taehyung, smiling softly, and patting his cheek. "Turn up at the shop tomorrow morning, we'll figure something out." 

"Oh, and officer?" she faced you, pointing in the corner where she was standing a few moments before. "I think my grandson had left his plushie over here a few days ago - it's this one, right?" You followed where her hand was pointing, finding a pumpkin plushie left casually on top of a table. "Sungwoo told me he had lost it some time ago, so I just thought it was this one," she laughed awkwardly. 

"I think it is his, he had come yesterday to file a missing complaint for it too," you said, causing Ms. Park to laugh. "He really loves it, doesn't he?" 

"He's not slept well since it went missing. Anyways, I better take it with me, if that's all."

"Just a moment, ma'am," you stopped her hastily. "He'd left a note for the plushie too - I believe Peter?" 

The elderly woman laughed at her grandson's antics, taking the note you offered her and grinning as she read it. "Yes, yes, Peter. I'll take the note with me. Thank you so much for everything, officer."

Thank you, you wish to say - unable to understand how she volunteered to be an eyewitness and defend the one person you cared so much for. Maybe words wouldn't be enough for you to convey how grateful you were to her, so you simply bowed to the woman. 

She took Taehyung's hand again, gently pressing on the back of his hand. "Your mother used to help me out in the shop, you know." Taehyung nodded, and she smiled. "Your hands are like hers. Delicate, yet strong. You can craft beauty with this hand, Taehyung." She squeezed his hand, smiling. "Don't just let that beauty slip away from you." 

She patted his hand again, before turning to you and smiling, and heading out. The sunlight bounced off her gray hair to shine on Taehyung as you looked at him - even with a tired expression, he looked more alive than you had seen him in the last few hours. 

"I'm free," he said, saying it aloud and letting himself feel the sensation for a few moments. 

He turned to you, watching the way your eyes told him that you understood everything you wanted to tell him - even the things he himself didn't understand. "I'm free, Y/N," he repeated, carefully examining his wrists that were once bound with handcuffs - no. There were no restraints there. 

His eyes panned around the room. There was no investigator who questioned him about why he simply couldn't admit his crime. No one who made fun of him for seeking comfort in his art - even if it was illegal. "I'm really free," he murmured again.

Taehyung leaped towards you, pulling you close and holding you tight, as if unable to believe that you were there with him: and that he was here with you for as long as he wanted to be. You let your arms circle around his neck, one curling through the hair at his nape and pulling him further into your embrace, and the other spread out over his back - trying to remind yourself that yes, he was here, with you. 

"Thank you," you felt him murmur into your shoulder. 

"For what?"

"Just being here. With me." He sighed, further tightening the hands that rested around your waist. "After so many unfamiliar faces over the years, seeing yours feels like a reward of sorts for behaving well." 

You laughed at him, slapping his back light heartedly. "Don't talk like you did anything wrong all those years ago. It's not good." You let your hands pane across the expanse of his skin, feeling him cling on to you as you tried to calm him down. "I'm happy for you, Tae." 

He held you like that, for a few more moments - like you were slowly pulling him back into what could be his new normal life. Waking up every day in a room that doesn't have steel bars as a door. Not having to crash at the old house that had haunted him for years. Not having to hide his face in the fear that someone would taunt him for his past. Actually doing something that made him feel happy, confident, and alive. 

"I'm happy too," he murmured into your shoulder. You hummed as he looked beyond your frame to see the streets outside the window - seeing how they were illuminated in daylight. How animatedly people were talking about what their plans for the day were. A kid kept hopping on a chalk drawing of hopscotch he had drawn on the footpath, clutching onto a plushie that oddly seemed like a pumpkin. Someone walked around their stall, setting things up for the day. 

You pulled him away from your grip to look at him again - not wanting to forget any part of him in any way. "I still care for you as much as I did all those years ago, you know." You put your hands on his biceps, just as you used to do when you had to knock sense into your friend. "You better not hide anything from me now." 

"I have no intentions of," he grinned. "Thank you very much." 

You giggled, a feeling you hadn't felt in years fluttering around your stomach like butterflies. 

"About us," Taehyung began, holding your hands in his, "You know that I love you, right?" You felt yourself tense up, and probably Taehyung did too, as he squeezed your hands. "I'm not in any hurry. I want to take some time to understand myself and what I want to do before I think of anything with you. But when I'm settled, and I'm someone I can be proud of, I want to come back to you. Be with you forever." He let go of your hands to hold your cheeks, smiling as he saw your big eyes peer at him. "You'll let me, right?" 

Your eyes softened. "Of course, Taehyung."

"Tae." He corrected you, coming closer to press a kiss on your forehead. 

You smiled when he moved back, glancing down at all of him and laughing. "For beginners, how about we get you clothes to change into?" 

He looked down at his clothes, laughing with you. "Let's go, then?" 

You nodded at him, pulling him out of the office, and locking it securely before turning to a widely grinning Taehyung. "I have a feeling I'm going to love the daytime. It's just so positive, and nice, don't you think? Really warm all over." 

"You're just saying that because you lived like a night owl," you laughed at him, watching his eyes sparkle in the sunshine. 

"Yeah, that wasn't the best way to live, was it?" He clicked his tongue and frowned. "Guess I better start living well now. To new beginnings, then, Officer!!" He grinned and poked your forehead. 

You watched Taehyung skip over the pebbles that were lined outside the office, walking freely on the streets, feeling the dread that you had let build up in your heart for so long slowly drain out of you. "Wait for me!" You screamed behind him, running to catch up to him. To new beginnings, you thought. 

a/n: hopefully, this piece of writing was worth your time 😊 thank you so much for reading graffiti and chalk!! I'd love to hear any feedback you have. Feel free to send it in as a comment, reblog, or as an ask! love, hazel 💞

taglist: @taejinnies (the torture is over bahaha), @xiaokoo, @thedarkwinterrose, @shatzkrinslinzki

masterlist

[redrosesartcabin]

Kenji x first perspective female reader:

Things happened

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(Hey, how is it going peeps! This was requested by @xxno-0xx . I hope you all, and especially the requester, like it. Only one warning: It involves some swearing, so if you don’t like that don’t read. If the requester doesn’t like it, please tell me and I’ll edit the story! Also: The story plays somewhere either between season 2 and 3, or somewhere around season 3. Though not in a canonical episode)

It’s crazy how things sometimes happen.

A very vague description, I know, but it’s the only way I can convey how I feel.

Things happened that made me have the opportunity to go to Jurassic Worlds Camp Cretaceous.

We had won the league as the best female Baseball team, with the price being -besides the typical golden trophy and some media glory- a trip to Camp Cretaceous for one of us. And as the team leader, I was chosen as the one who can go.

“Oh no it’s fine!”, I had said. I already had a funny feeling about the trip. But they all had insisted, “it’s fine”, they had said, “it’ll be cool” they said.

Oh and weren’t they just so right. I am super peachy.

Practically prancing through the jungle and killing Dinos with my little finger-

Ok that’s enough, I think y’all got the gist: The shit had hit the fan.

Things happened, that made everyone be gone, and suddenly it was up to us to survive on this pretend Prehistoric nightmare.

At least my beloved baseball bat had survived the fall of the Camp Cretaceous building. After that discovery I didn’t let go of it anymore. I took it everywhere with me, hitting every living being that even dared to breath in my new found friends direction.

Friends… I had never thought, before the evacuation of Jurassic World and all that crazy stuff happened, that I’d ever call any of them that. I hadn’t really found any of them to be friendship material. I love baseball and building things out of wood in my free time and had a dry, sarcastic sense of humor. The only person in the group who had come close to that was Yaz, but she had been so closed off, that I couldn’t really tell before we became a group that fought for their survival. Darius also had been ok, but I was older than him and we didn’t have anything in common, so that checked itself out. Everyone else sort of annoyed me in one way or another. Especially Kenji’s pompous ass. He had appeared very full of himself and just generally narcissistic, or at least painfully self centered and pretentious.

Now imagine how surprised one might be, when one figured I was crushing on the guy.

Let’s just say, that things happened that made me see Kenji in a completely different light.

Turns out he has a good enough sense of humor to catch my drift when I speak “in sarcastic” as he likes to call it. Turns out, he was a loyal and fun friend. Turns out he was just a lonely soul, neglected by a father whose work is more important to him than his own son.

Everything turned out different than it appears about him. He still sometimes annoyed me with his pranks and especially when he wouldn’t shut up about his wealth. The latter however became very apparent as the means to show that he was someone, although he didn’t need to prove that anymore. But of course he would think that’s how people would like him, his father had taught him no better.

The first thing I mentioned somehow makes me love him even more. It annoys me, gets such a rise out of me, that it’s somehow funny again. It gives me a spark and Kenji seemingly seems to enjoy seeing that spark. And him enjoying that spark makes me somehow happy as well. It would start with a cat fight and ended in rigorous laughter.

“Why so serious?”, he would sometimes ask when I’d respond with a glare towards him when he’d steal my bat for what felt like the fifty millionth time.

“You’re getting so creative. I barely saw it coming”, I answered dryly and one could practically see the words alternating between being written in small and big letters.

“Well then you should have no problem finding your sweet baby bat then”, he cooed. Looking deep into his dark brown eyes and almost devilish handsome grin made me both want to punch and kiss him, which may have made me irritable and even madder.

“Finding? Why should I find anything if I have a living and breathing treasure map. Come here!”, I demanded with a creepily sweet grin as I’d walk towards him. Then he’d run, I’d run, we wrestled for a second on the ground only to break into a laughing fit, rolling on the floor, crying tears, resolving this nonsense prank and then getting back to either relaxing or fighting off Dinosaurs… again.

I didn’t think, however, that anything could happen between Kenji and me.

For many a reason, though only two are essential: For one, we were busy surviving, one barely had time to get downtime with the group, yet alone for themselves. Secondly, I didn’t really know, or couldn’t really tell, if he felt the same. Maybe it was my own insecurities coming to light or something, but I just couldn’t really believe it.

Seemed unlikely.

But then things happened.

Kenji and I were on the run from an especially nasty, big Dinosaur. We had been collecting some water in big canisters and wanted to head back to camp when it sneak attacked, unexpectedly.

It snared at us, opening its huge mouth, showing a row of thin, long, sharp teeth.

“Fuck off, you tooth pick mouthed asshole!”, I hissed back at it, flailing my bat at it in panic.

The reason for my irrational action was mainly, that we were stuck between two huge rocks, backed up against another rock with no way out.

Maybe hills or mini-mountain were a better description, but it’s also not important.

All that I could think of was that we were stuck and that little fucker wanted to eat us.

“Calm down, y/n, this isn’t making anything better!”, Kenji tried to reason with me. I was close to shouting some obscenities at him or a dry ‘got a better idea, genius!?’, but this time his dark brown eyes, that often had a mischievous twinkle, calmed me, instead of creating the usual spark. I crawled closer to him as we were pressed to the stone wall.

The Dino however wouldn’t give up. Vehemently, it pressed its ugly snout between the walls, stretching its uncomfortably wet tongue towards us and exhaling a nauseating breath.

I was paralyzed, as I looked at that thing, not knowing what would happen next.

Suddenly, I felt my bat being taken out of my hand. I watched as Kenji took on a fighter stance, the bat positioned over his head, ready for the hit.

“What are you doing! Didn’t you just tell me that we should calm it?”, I asked. He turned around, a frown adorned his face, “I said you should calm down”, is all he answered before he darted towards the animal.

“NO!”, I heard myself scream. I had never heard such a sound come from my throat. It was shrill, loud and all in all I couldn’t recognize myself. I was terrified, even more than when I first caught sight of this beast that had brought us into this situation.

Everything seemed to pass by in slow motion as I saw Kenji swing the bat towards its snout. At first I thought it was over for him as the Dinos mouth opened, the teeth seeming to scrape Kenji’s head, that’s how close it was to him… but then I saw Kenji swinging the bat again, directly hitting its head so that it flew against the stone wall. The beast wailed in pain, seemingly backing up, and just like that, it was gone.

“I… I made it”, Kenji first whispered, before he laughed, repeating, “I made it!”, even louder, jumping into the air and forming a victory fistbump in the air.

“That was awesome! Did you see how- Y/N?”, Kenji’s joy subsided as he looked into my angered expression. With a swift motion I took my bat back, glaring at him as I pressed out, between gritted teeth “let’s just go, hero”

Kenji seemed to have caught the sarcastic undertone of me calling him a hero, because I could physically feel his mood shift closer to mine, “hey what’s with that attitude? I just saved our lives!”

“By doing what I also wanted to do. Great!”

“You were panicking! I don’t know if you would’ve gotten a good hit by panicking. Besides, I couldn’t risk you getting hurt!”, he explained.

For a second I could feel my heart flutter, but that didn’t help my opinion on what just happened.

“But you were ready to risk yourself?”, I asked, my tone bitter.

“Why are you so mad?”, he asked, “we are safe, what more could you want?”,

“I-“, I stopped in my tracks, thinking. Yeah: What was I so mad about? He was right, I had panicked. Panic never helps with concentration and right decision making. I found it impressive, that he had the courage and the focus to fight the Dino off. But I just couldn’t fight off the thought of it going wrong. What if he would’ve been eaten?

“What-“, I wanted to repeat what I had been thinking, but could feel a hiccup, breaking the tear flood inside me. No- I was not going to cry. I took a deep breath, looking directly into his confused visage, “- what if it would’ve gone wrong, I’m just… I- I wouldn’t have known what to do without you. I can’t imagine being without you anymore”.

I saw and heard him gasp, his glance unfreezing from his confused state.

“I didn’t realize I was that important to you”, he answered.

I chuckled, too embarrassed to look him in the eyes, “everyone is important to me from the group, I wouldn’t have liked any of them to risk their lives for me but- but especially not you. I- I can’t believe I’m going to say this - I had vowed to take this to my grave ya know-“

“- Get to the point”, Kenji urged me.( I wasn’t looking at him, but he later told me he had smiled whilst saying it, I however thought he was getting annoyed and was almost too scared to continue. Stupid how that sometimes works)

“- I, eh- I’m in love with you I think. Or at least I definitely feel very strongly for you”, I confessed, “there! Now you have something to use against me. Finally got something you can laugh at again on this miserable Isla-mpf”, my self deprecating monologue was interrupted by soft lips catching mine. It almost took my breath away, but then I leaned in, still not believing this was happening, though it definitely was.

“I’m not going to laugh, I love you too. I wouldn’t be stupid enough to risk everything if I didn’t”

“That’s cheesy, but I appreciate the honesty”, I said, wearing my usual shit eating grin as I regained confidence back.

“Oh look who's talking now”

“Oh shut it!”, I laughed and just like that, I found myself kissing him again.

“And here I thought I had to worry, but you two just ran away to make out”, I suddenly heard Darius in the background, half serious, half amused by the moment he found us in.

I quickly broke away from Kenji, grinning sheepishly, “You know how it is Darius: You get chased by a Dino, and then you need a kiss to make the boo boo go away… just so happens I got a bit of a chap on my lips, and Kenji wanted to make it real good again”, I explained, earning a silent chuckle from Kenji.

Darius rolled his eyes, but couldn’t hold back a smile either, “let’s get you love birds home”

————————

And so things happened. Did we have much time to enjoy us being a couple? Not really.

Did more things happen, making everything crazier and tougher?

Did the rift between Darius and Kenji make me anxious as I was sitting by Kenji’s side, as he, with an expression that was too serious for my liking, drove the yacht?

Absolutely.

But I know, that at least he’s by my side still, as am I, and we will make things happen so that we can finally be free from this place.

Hopefully, we’ll make it.

Depends on what the Dino on the yacht has to say about it...

[heroes-of-olympus-next-gen]

You all over me

Just some mother-daughter time between Annabeth and Zoe.

“I think it’s time for us to break up.”

Those words haunted Zoe. For 3 months she had the best girlfriend in the world. Until she decided to break up with her. Her explanation? Their relationship was just a teen romance, that went over after a couple of months. Zoe decided not to disagree or shout at her. There was no point. They had something nice, and it ended. It happens even to the best.

It was a quiet Friday afternoon. Percy and Annabeth were still at work, Charlie had football practice, and she wasn’t sure where Lana and Theo were. She was sitting on her bed, watching Netflix from her laptop. The bedroom door opened. Annabeth stepped inside with a pint of ice cream in hand. “I am sorry that you broke up. I thought ice cream could help.”

Zoe closed her laptop. “Aren’t you supposed to be at work right now?”

“I thought that it would be a nice idea to take the afternoon off.” Annabeth handed her the ice cream.

“I hope you didn’t do it for me.”

“No, of course not.” She definitely took the afternoon off for her daughter. But Zoe was like her, she would never ask for help. Especially over something romantic.

Zoe stared at her. “Thanks for the ice cream.”

“Anything you want.” Zoe smiled softly at her. Annabeth wasn’t sure if she wanted her to stay or go; she decided to leave her alone for a while and then come back and check on her.

She was about to step outside her daughter’s room when Zoe called her. “Is there any chance that you can stay here with me for a while?”

“Of course.” Annabeth sat next to her on the bed.

“I know it was just a stupid relationship, but I feel so bad.” She started crying. “I really liked Arizona.”

Annabeth kissed her on the temple. “You’re going to feel better soon. I know how it feels.”

Zoe wiped her tears. “How do you know?” She sniffled. “You and dad have been dating each other since you were 16. I wish I had a relationship like yours.” She rested her head on her mum’s shoulder.

“Do you want me to tell you a story?”

“Sure, why not.” Zoe laughed between her sobs. Apparently, her family had a story for every situation.

“It’s more like a family secret rather than a story, actually. That’s why I want this to stay between the two of us.”

“Girl talk. I get it. What happens in this room, stays in this room.” Zoe exclaimed thinking how much stuff her walls had heard over the years.

“Your dad and I have been together since we were 16. But when we were in college we decided, to get the whole college experience to break up.” Zoe stared confused at her. “We were still kind of together, but not dating.”

“And then you tell me that you aren’t a unique couple.” She confessed.

“Anyway, in that time we decided to experiment a bit with other people.” Annabeth didn’t know if it was a good parental move to have a conversation like this with her daughter. “I was going out with a girl.”

“So dad has bi wife energy?” Zoe asked a bit confused that her mother had never told her that she was bisexual.

“More like bi husband energy.”

“Dad is bisexual too? And you didn’t even tell me, your fellow bisexual daughter?”

“We thought that it was quite obvious.” She confessed. “Where was I?”

“You were going out with a girl. Who was it?”

“That’s something I am not going to tell you.” She was trying to be a cool mum but telling her daughter that she was in a loving relationship with her godmother aka Dr Piper McLean-Grace, wasn’t one of the things she was going to do in her lifetime. Percy was having the best time of his life when Zoe brought Arizona home for the first time. ‘I guess yours and Zoe’s type isn’t that different’. “Anyway, we were dating for a couple of months, but we both knew that it meant nothing to us. It meant almost nothing. Well, compared to our relationship with your dad it was nothing, but it still hurt a bit when we broke up.”

“But you had dad. I don’t have someone else. All my relationships end this way. You saw what happened last time.” She sighed.

Annabeth put her daughter’s hair away from her face. “Last time, it was just wrong people at the wrong time. Neither of you were to blame. You tried something and it didn’t work out. And you and Arizona. You are 16. Now it’s the time to have this kind of relationship.”

“She said that we can still be friends if I want,” Zoe confessed.

“See. You will heal, you will feel better, and find someone who makes you happy or maybe even happier.” Annabeth comforted her.

“Probably. Or I’ll buy a couple dogs and become the wine aunt to Charlie’s and Bianca’s kids.” Zoe laughed. She soon realised that it could come out the wrong way. “I mean separately Charlie’s kids and Bianca’s kids.”

“Either way, I just want you to be happy with yourself. You’re the best daughter I could have asked, and you deserve the world.”

“Thanks, mum.” Zoe hugged her.

“Do you want to watch a comedy? Or do you want to be on your own?”

“I could watch ‘The Grown Ups’ for the millionth time.”

Mother and daughter went downstairs and put the movie on Netflix. They were eating ice cream straight out of the massive pint Annabeth had brought home. “There are my girls,” Percy said as he walked inside and saw his wife and daughter sitting together on the couch. He kissed both of them on the cheek. “What is the occasion?”

“Nothing. Just some girl time.” Zoe smiled at her mum.

[all-my-love-for-harry]

Not the future you want.

summary: You don’t want kids and that’s a deal breaker for Harry, until it isn’t.

word count: 3.3k

warnings: angst, happy ending tho.

a/n: long time no see!! I missed writing for y’all SO much but lately i’ve been so busy, here’s a little something i wrote after finishing all my homework, please tell me what you think!

You can find the rest of my masterlist here.

///

Y/n didn't know how they got here.

Not even ten minutes ago they were wrapped around the covers of Harry's bed after making love, both still naked and sweaty from the previous activities. Harry was showering her with kisses all over her face, paying special attention to her nose and lips. The silence that covered them was comfortable, warm.

Right now all she felt was cold, iced silence filling the room as Harry stared at her with startled eyes. Suddenly, the once safe space they had to feel comfortable being naked in front of the other, was long gone and replaced with an awkwardness in the air. Y/n pulled the covers up to her chest, sitting down on the bed as she watched Harry do the same.

"What did you say?" He said. Although he heard it the first time she said it, he wished with all his being there was some kind of misunderstanding and he got it all wrong.

"Are you upset?" She asked cautiously. "Because you sound upset."

"No, I'm... Fuck, Y/n, I'm not upset." He passed a hand through his face. "Excuse me for being a little offended you don't want kids with me."

"I don't want kids with anyone, Harry." She said, growing upset. "Don't take it personally." Y/n started to look for her clothes that currently were laying on the floor, knowing what was going to come.

"But... baby, why? wouldn't it be nice to have mini us running around?" He sounded out of breath like someone just kicked him right in the stomach. He figured he could at least try to convince her otherwise. "Imagine how cute our babies will look. They'd have your adorable nose, maybe my eyes..."

"H, I'm sorry... kids have never been in my plans, it isn't something that I want." She said slowly, not knowing how Harry will take it.

"Wouldn't you willing to at least try?"

Sighing, she shook her head. "I don't want to do that to my body. I've worked so hard to look the way I do and, honestly? Pregnancy takes a toll on you both mentally, and physically and I don't want that." Y/n got out of the bed dragging the covers with her as she grabbed her clothes and started to get dressed.

At that moment Harry didn't know that, what came out of his mouth next, would either save his relationship or end it for good. "That's so... shallow." He practically spat.

"Yeah? Try carrying a human being inside of you for nine months!"

"If I could I'd do it since you're being this selfish!"

"Am I being selfish?! Listen to yourself! I don't owe you any explanation regardless of what I want and don't want to do with my body!" She finished putting her clothes on, silently thanking herself for wearing a dress and make it easier to get dressed in between all this mess. "I am not a baby machine, Harry. I don't exist just to get pregnant and be a fucking mother. If you want a baby so badly, then find someone who does as well!"

"But I love you!" He said, not realizing he was being childish.

"Then we can get a pet! It's the same responsibility."

"I can't believe you just compared a human being to a pet, Y/N! Don't be so stupid!" He threw his hands in the air.

"I honestly don't know what you want me to tell you." Y/n crossed her arms across her chest. "I'm sorry that you feel that way but I'm not changing my mind. I understand if..."

"I need time to... think."

"H..." She tried taking a step closer to him, but he backed off.

"Leave, please."

She didn't know if that was going to be the end of their relationship, and she hoped it wasn't. However, guessing by the look on Harry's face, this was it.

//

Harry's been miserable. He thought he'd only feel like these the first months after breaking up with Y/n but as the fifth month rolled in, he realized there was no way he'd ever get her out of his head... and out of his heart.

Even though he stopped crying in the shower in month three, he was still unable to go to the same places he used to go with her, his heart hurting too much for all the memories that hit him right in the face as he walks into the coffee shop they used to go to every Friday, or the place on the park they used to sit on after buying ice cream from the lovely old man who always gave Y/n a flower. He was slowly losing his mind and everyone around him could tell exactly what was happening. He missed Y/n.

The problem was, he took way too long to realize he made a mistake, probably the most tremendous one of his entire life. He couldn't stop thinking that, if he answered those calls he declined from her, the love of his life would most likely be wrapped around a blanket in his living room, watching the notebook for the millionth time as they cuddled closer and closer to each other. She always let Harry chose the movie, despite she always knew what his choice would be and although she used to get bored at the movie, after a few times watching it with Harry, she grew to like it.

That was who she is. She's always pleasing everyone else, often growing upset when she can get the people around her what they wanted. And that included Harry. She used to put him and whatever he wanted first, always. If Harry wanted to go out, they'd go out. If he wanted to stay in, they'd stay in. And deep down, Harry knew that the reason why he lashed out at her he way he did seven months ago, it was because he knew Y/n wouldn't be able to fulfill the one dream he wanted the most. Or at least, the dream he thought he wanted the most because when his anger went down and he was able to see clearly, he realized there wasn't anything in this world he wanted more than to be with her, and that if he ever went and married another woman just to be a father, that baby wouldn't be half the love of his life, therefore nothing would be perfect and his life wouldn't be as happy as he was when he was with Y/n.

"You have to get out of bed, H." Gemma said as she opened the curtains of the bedroom, making him let out a groan. "Although you're an asshole, it hurts me to see you like this."

"Thanks for the pep talk, Gem." His words came out muffled as his face was still pressed to the pillow. The one from the side Y/N used to sleep on.

"That wasn't a pep talk, knobhead." She sat at the edge of the bed. "I'm just tired of seeing you like this, Har. You fucked up, stop mopping around and own your mistake."

"She hates me."

"She has every reason to," Harry gave her a dirty look. "but, I don't think she does. You know her, she loved you more than anything."

"Yeah, she really did." Harry's eyes filled with a new wave of tears and he choked a sob. "I was so wrong, Gem. I can't believe I yelled at her the way I did." He cried. "I had the love of my life and I made her leave." Now he sobbed.

His sister sighed. Although it was very clear who's fault was, she couldn't help but feel bad for his baby brother. Everyone could see how happy they made each other, always saying they were it for the other. And they were true. That was, of course, until Harry fucked up.

"I'm telling you this because I love you," She started. "You have to move on. It's been five months, H. You made it very clear you both wanted different things, and that's okay. But you have to accept that."

"I don't mean it anymore!"

"It doesn't matter. You meant it back then, and you're not gonna change anything staying in bed and crying all day."

"You're right." He suddenly sat up, pulling the cover off of him. "I should go see her."

"No, that's not-"

"You're a genius, Gem." Harry cupped her face and gave her an obnoxious kiss on the cheek.

"Ew!"

"I will get her back!" He jumped out of the bed and trotted to his walk-in closet, stripping out of his pajamas and into whatever pants and shirt he found. "I'll apologize and she will understand, right?"

"Baby brother, I think you're being a little too optimistic." Gemma stood up and walked towards him. "Don't be stupid, an 'I'm sorry' will not fix anything. Also, you don't even know where to find her, or how is she... or who she's with." Harry narrowed his eyes at her. "What? You have to consider all the options."

"I check her Instagram every day, she's not dating anyone."

"She can hide posts and stories from you, dumbass." She crossed her arms. "And every day? Creep."

Harry sticks his tongue out at her. "I also check her friend's profiles, believe me, she's single. And I'm gonna win her back."

"Harry," Gemma started, but he was already out of the run and running down the stairs. "Wait! Where are you going?"

"To her house!" He yelled back from the bottom of the stairs, grabbing his keys.

"Hang on, I'll take you!"

"What, really?" He stopped his tracks, turning around to face his sister.

"If you suffer from humiliation, I have to videotape it." She smirked, grabbing her purse and opening the front door.

"You're horrible."

"Chop, chop! Let's go, Romeo."

//

"I..." Hiccup. "I hate..." Hiccup. "... Men." Hiccup. "But I love you, Nolan."

"Alright, It's three in the afternoon, Y/n/n. Cut the tequila."

"What?!" She gasped. "It's never too early for tequila." She raised her finger at her best friend.

"C'mon, darling. Let's get you into the shower. Hannah should be here soon too."

"I love you guys." She said as Nolan practically carried her up the stairs and to her bedroom. "And I love Harry."

He sighed, finally entering the room, sitting Y/n on her bed where he immediately collapsed. "I know you do, sweetheart. Now, I want you in the bathroom."

She groaned, extending her hands at him. Nolan rolled his eyes but grabbed her hands to pull from her. He didn't know how she managed to get this drunk at three o'clock, but then again after five months of pretending to be okay, a breakdown was meant to happen sooner or later.

"You're the bestest friend ever."

"Mhm, repeat that when you're sober." Closing the door behind him, he helped her take her clothes off.

"Is Marcus mad at me because you left him to come here?" She asked, pouting. Marcus was Nolan's boyfriend.

"Of course not, don't be silly. He wants to take you out tonight though."

"Yes! Thousand times yes. Count. Me. In."

"What you want is your head on the toilet all night, don't you?" Y/N stepped into the shower but let out a squeal when she felt the cold water hit her skin.

"Let me out, let me out."

"Nope, we need to sober you up so you stay there." He leaned on the wall, waiting for her with a towel in his hands.

After a quick shower, Nolan wrapped her in the fluffy towel and left the room to go downstairs, he figured Y/n could handle herself for a bit while he waited for Hannah to arrive with food. He hasn't seen her this drunk since the day she and Harry broke up, so she still had a lot to let out.

There was a knock on the door and Nolan hurried to open it, thinking Hannah was finally here. To his surprise, instead of their blonde friend being there with loads of food for them to eat, Harry Styles was waiting on the other side of the door, holding the biggest bouquet of pink roses he's ever seen before.

"No, handsome. Go back to where you came from."

"C'mon, Nolan. Is she home?"

"Nope." Nolan crossed his arms, trying to look more intimidating. "She's out there, living her best life."

"Then why are you here?"

The blonde man opened his mouth then closed it again. "None of your business. Look, Harry, let it go. Do you seriously think showing up here five months after with a huge bouquet of flowers will magically fix everything?"

"I need to talk to Y/n, please. I-I messed up, okay? I was horrible to her and I know it, but I want to make it right."

He sighed. "Right now is not a good time, trust me." Harry frowned. "Do you want my advice? Move on."

With that, he closed the door on his face and returned to the living room. He was not going to allow his best friend to get her heart broken all over again over a pair of pretty eyes.

//

"When you said we'd be going out, I thought you meant to get fucked up, not to sing karaoke." Y/N said as she took a long sip of her drink, resting her cheek on her palm.

"Who says we can't do both here? Besides, I'll be fun." Marcus said.

"I don't sing, my loves. I came for the alcohol." Hannah finished her drink and stood up to walk to the bar to get another one.

"You're alcoholics, both of you."

"I call it, drown in your own sorrow."

"Cheers for that."

After a few rounds, Nolan was up serenading Marcus, completely out of key but no one cared since they were all already a little bit tipsy. Y/N was having a great time with her friends, completely forgetting the reason why she got drunk at three in the afternoon. No one knew what she did to not be hungover right now, but nonetheless, they were glad she was there having fun too.

That was until Nolan noticed Harry walk into the bar.

"Pst, Han." He whispered. "Wait ten seconds then turn around."

She did what he said. "Oh, so he did come."

"Wait, what?!" he whispered-yelled.

"I told him we'd be here." She shrugged.

"Why the hell would you do that?"

"Because they need to talk." Nolan rolled his eyes. "Cut the crap, you know I'm right. Y/n deserves an apology and Harry has one, easy peasy."

"You forgot the part where he broke her heart."

"Hey, I'm not defending him. However, they're crazy for each other and unless they talk things out, we'll have our best friend become an alcoholic."

"What are you two gossiping about?" Y/n said, returning to the table after going to the bathroom.

"About how I need another drink!" Hannah exclaimed.

"Ugh, me too. I'll go this time." She got up again.

"Wait!" Nolan grabbed her hand but Hannah kicked him under the table, making him groan.

"Are you okay?"

"Uh, yes. Can you bring me one too?"

"I got you, babes."

She walked to the bar while humming the song someone was singing up there. "Oop." Y/n tripped over her own feet but before she could fell face down on the floor, someone wrapped a hand around her forearm. "Oh, thank you..." She looked up to see the stranger who saved her and her breath hitched when she saw him. "Harry."

"Hey, love."

"What... how-? Wait, don't call me love!" She crossed her arms, annoyed.

"Y/n, wait, please. We need to talk."

"Oh, no, no. We-" She signaled the space between them. "Have nothing to talk about."

"Listen to me, please. I know you don't have to, and I know that I was horrible and behaved like a proper dick five months ago, but I want to apologize to you, I'm begging you."

She sighed. She looked into his eyes and saw a flash of hurt and regret, his hair also looked a mess and he looked like he hasn't shaved in a while. Maybe he's been feeling as bad as her. Deep down, she hoped he has.

"Five minutes, then I'm gone."

Harry wasted no time and pulled her towards the bathrooms, entering the ladies one and double-checking it was empty before locking the door. "First of all, you have no idea how much I've missed you." She opened her mouth, probably to throw a sarcastic comment but he interrupted her. "Let me finish, please. Last time I saw you... I wasn't nice, at all. I lashed out at you for no reason, honestly. You were right, I've got no say in whatever you want to do with your body. I was a brat and I was mad at... honestly, I don't know what I was mad about. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize this, but I don't need anyone else if I have you, Y/n. You're the love of my life and-" He grabbed her hands. "I love you with my whole heart. If kids isn't something you want, then we don't need it, baby."

"Harry, you don't know what you're talking about."

"Excuse me?"

"You love kids! I know you've always wanted to be a father, and you'll be a great one, one day. You deserve to have the future you've always dreamt of having." She offered him a tiny smile. "I'm not the future that you want, H."

"Y/n, listen to me, you're my dream. You, no one else."

"If we stayed together, one day you're gonna wake up and realize you missed your opportunity of having a family of your own and you're gonna hate me forever."

"Of course not." He said, offended. "How could you say that? I could never, never hate you. I'd hate my life if you weren't in it."

"We want different things. And despite me knowing that, I still walked into this relationship because I was selfish. Selfish because I thought you... you would change your mind."

"You're the most selfless person I've ever known, my love. You're not selfish, I'm an asshole. I didn't listen to you because I always want everything to be my way. But we're a team, we got each other. We don't need anything else."

At this point, Harry was ready to drop on his knees and beg for forgiveness. He was trying so hard to not start sobbing right there, but Y/n looked like she's made up her mind and he felt like his heart was breaking more and more as the minutes passed. He didn't know what else to say to convince her to be with him, and that terrified him.

"I don't know..."

"Please, give me one more chance. Please, baby."

Y/n was really trying to think this through. On one hand, she missed him more than anything, and she's been miserable these past months without her, no matter how much she tried to put on a happy face for everyone around her. On the other hand, she felt like she needed to let Harry go so he could be happy with someone else, someone who shared the same dreams and plans as him. Her blood boiled at the last part, feeling jealous of even thinking about Harry, his Harry, being with someone else.

She had him right in front of her on a silver plate, ready to rebuild their relationship because he loved her too much to let her go.

"I really missed you." She finally collapsed into his arms, holding him tightly. "And I'm so scared of losing you."

"You're not gonna lose me. Not now, not ever. You're stuck with me, okay?" He cupped her cheeks, looking at her straight in the eye. Her eyes were filled with tears but a little smile was forming on her face. "My pretty baby. I love you so so much and I'm so excited to spend my life with you."

"I love you too, I can't wait to be with you forever."

[wordsinwinters]

Then Again, Chapter 9: More Than Anyone Else

Summary: After an intense fight and a forced-to-share-the-bed situation during their junior year decathlon trip, Peter and the Reader examine their faults and failings. As they attempt to fix their mistakes and improve their friendship, that friendship quickly begins to evolve into something else.

Betas: @fanboyswhereare-you and @girl-tips-from-satan

Masterlist (with AO3 links)

Then Again, Chapter 9: More Than Anyone Else

(Word count: 1,881)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28, Part 29,

As the millionth text from Ned buzzes my phone, I consider chucking it off the roof. Maybe myself with it.

It only took an episode of yelling with Y/N and a door slam for him to finally answer me back, as if the five minutes of me pounding on his and MJ’s door earlier hadn’t been a concern of his. Now, given the timing, I’ve decided to respond with his own stubbornness and refuse to even open the messages. I can guess what they say. Probably what Aunt May said when she called forty minutes ago.

Something like: Maybe it’s time to be straightforward and tell her. What’s the worst that could happen? It has to be better than how you’ve left it. As long as you handle this properly, I think the Peter Parker Gets a Girlfriend initiative is still in the running!

I know I’m not handling this well. I know it’s bad. I know. I mean, it’s kind of impossible to feel how I feel about her and not understand that I’ve probably — definitely — blown all my chances at this point. I wish Aunt May understood that. Trying to explain what it was like back there, how bad I made it, how angry we both were… all it did was make me want to throw up. And Aunt May didn’t exactly listen, really listen, to that part anyway. If I hadn’t gotten choked up, she probably would have called Y/N herself. I’ve never been so relieved to start crying while talking to someone. At least she’s backing off. For tonight, that is.

I can’t stop thinking about how it happened. It was so fast. Even though I knew it was building up all week, I had no idea I would snap like that— and especially at first, I really didn’t mean to.

I mean, it’s been hard keeping everything in. Aunt May and Ned have been putting so much pressure on me to “tell her how I feel” lately and then she was just so happy the last few days that every time I was around her, which was constantly with all of our studying, I kept finding myself balanced between wanting to burst out and finally tell her, consequences be damned, or else call Happy and see if Mr. Stark had any potentially lethal missions available. Instead, I kept my mouth firmly shut and avoided eye contact with her and Aunt May. After this morning with Flash, last night with Flash, the thought of her kissing Flash (even at six years old, which, I know, is so stupid to be upset over, but like… it’s Flash, who’s literally never not tormented me when given the opportunity) and all the private texting between everyone, the pool was the last straw.

I tried to get out of it earlier. Maybe I should’ve. But Y/N asked me if I was coming in a voice that warned me something was off, so I went. I didn’t want to be there. But I wasworried she might need someone. (Ironic, given how I behaved in the end. God, I’ve been such an ass.)

Plus, after she hugged me and ran off, things got really weird. I knew why she did it, even if Aunt May keeps denying any involvement. It’s awkward to imagine what Aunt May must have said to her to make her do it. She obviously didn’t want to. Not to mention, I knew I got her stuck outside with Flash when Aunt May called again.

In my defense, I really thought Ned and MJ would let her in the other room.

Anyway, the point is: things have never been more unclear with Y/N than they were an hour ago. I’ve been so worried about letting myself get too excited around her that I’ve probably been leaning too far into reasons to be upset with her (Ned thinks it’s some “self-preservation” thing, and I’m starting to agree). I must have been coming across as a rude asshole all week. If Aunt May and Ned have been trying to push her towards me, it must have been super confusing for her, it probably made my behavior even worse.

All that aside, it still doesn’t make any sense why she would try to get me to play that game in the pool.

With Abe it was easy. We were just pretending, like acting punches, pretend shoves. She knows that if I really hit someone it could go seriously wrong. I can’t risk it. I would never risk it with any of my friends, not ever, even if it’s a game. So when she started getting angry, I figured it was just a way to get angry with me like I’d been doing with her. Do something! I can still hear her saying it. I just don’t understand what she wanted me to do, though.

The more she said it, the more I worried she was hinting at something bigger. Was she trying to poke me into letting some Spidey secret out? I’ve never suspected that type of motive from her, but why else mock me with something she knows I can’t do because of it? Could it really have slipped her mind? She’s always on top of everything. It doesn’t exactly seem like something she’d forget.

I guess— no, I know— I let fear get the best of me. I should never have shouted or gotten angry or splashed her like I did. It doesn’t matter if I’ve been a nervous wreck around her or scared of everything I’ve been feeling or frustrated that she invited Flash to the dinner or even panicked about her practically yelling a phrase I didn’t understand. I should have kept my temper and waited to talk to her later, like she said.

That’s the shittiest part. More than anyone else, she’s the person I wish I could talk to most about, well, everything. But I can’t.

I’m torn in two parts right now and neither of them is concerned with securing her as my girlfriend. (I know that isn’t how Ned and Aunt May meant it, but “winning the game” or “accomplishing the mission” is not even on my radar at the moment.) First, I’m still frustrated. Not angry, at least, but everything we talked— well, yelled— about didn’t just dissolve. It’s still in my head, even if I’m trying to erase it. Second, all I want to do is go back and apologize like an idiot. Even if we’re fighting, I don’t want to make her feel bad about anything. I want to go make sure she’s alright. All I wanted in the first place was to finally hear the truth about her and MJ, to get through to her about Flash, and to just… feel like I’m a real part of her life. Even if not in the way I want.

I don’t think I accomplished much in the way of those three things, but then again, I’m still reeling. There’s so much to go over. My brain’s on overload.

I need to think this out.

I need to be rational.

Okay.

First: She said she and MJ aren’t dating. Ned and Aunt May always thought I was looking too far into little things when I brought this up. Maybe they were right. She did seem seriously surprised. Why deny it when confronted? And why else would MJ have been texting me today, hinting that she knew I liked her? If they were dating and Aunt May or Ned told her, wouldn’t she have gotten upset about it and said something to my face? It made me paranoid today that she was playing with me, but now the tone of her messages doesn’t seem threatening like it did before. It seems… curious, if not supportive. I… I guess that part is settled. Y/N did say, I’m not dating my best friend.

Did she mean none of her best friends, though? Like, ever? It felt coded. It felt like shit. I know I don’t have a chance in the first place, but it still stung like a slap to the face.

That phrase keeps playing in my head.

I’m not dating my best friend!

I need to stop thinking about it.

Second: Flash. That hasn’t moved anywhere. He’s still a dick and she’s still too forgiving with him. Thank god she doesn’t like him, at least. But the other things she said when I brought him up are definitely significant. What did she mean about Liz? Liz doesn’t have disagreements with many people and if they didn’t like each other, I certainly never noticed. But she said that too: I never noticed it. I’ll ask her about that later. Not too soon, definitely not tonight, but when — if — things get better.

There’s something more important to focus on.

She thinks about me. All the time. I can’t dwell too much on this. I know it doesn’t mean what I want it to mean, but it is meaningful in a thousand other ways.

She cares. She worries. She waits. She thinks about me. She really, genuinely, seriously cares about me. And she thinks about me, all the time.

How many times has she thought of me while I was thinking of her?

This thought is too dizzying. My legs feel like they might fold in.

I wind my towel up and put it behind my head to lie on it like a pillow.

I picture her walking home from school and sending me a text, thinking of me. All the while, I’m on the opposite side of Queens assuming her message is just a usual kindness, something she would do for anybody.

I think about you all the time, more than anyone else.

I nearly fainted when she said that, I swear.

So third: I am a real part of her life — proven by what she said. I think that’s enough. Knowing she genuinely, seriously cares is enough. I’d rather she thought of me in a more positive way, but if worrying reflects any sort of dedication to our friendship, that’s plenty. Though I will, from now on, respond to her messages immediately, even if it makes me feel desperate and lame, just to make sure she isn’t stressed out anymore. She worries about me.

Conclusions combined, I have no idea how I feel. I was so angry today. Flash’s stunt, the fact I thought she actually wanted to defend him, thinking she and MJ were in a secret relationship, the pressure Aunt May and Ned have been putting on me this week, especially since that hug thing… overall, the entire idea of their “mission.” (Honestly, calling it a mission did not make it any more appealing, despite what they may have hoped.)

It doesn’t matter anymore. I’m on unstable ground, but at least I know that when I go back to the room, I won’t feel claustrophobic, like I can’t get enough air. I’ve got fear to spare in gallons, but there’s hope mixed in too. I can fix this.

It’ll be okay. I can do this. I’m Spider-Man, for fuck’s sake.

I just need… a few minutes longer to get my head together.

Holy shit.

Next chapter

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[solastia]

Tuqburni: Finale - Heartbreak

Pairing: Yoongi X Reader, Hoseok x Reader

A/N: Here you go with an alternate ending where she DIDN’T choose to go back to them. Angst, with a bit of hope (hyuck). Please remember, in my mind the other ending is canon and I will be releasing an epilogue eventually of them together in the future. Until then, enjoy this. It really hurt me to make my Yoongichi cry. 

*******************************************************************************************

You sat on your tiny patio in the beat-up rocking chair you’d bought from a thrift store as you waited for Namjoon to come by. You probably could have waited inside, but it felt too big and empty for your liking. A familiar knock rattles your very wobbly-sounding door and you get up with a sigh, closing the sliding glass behind you as you head to the front door. 

You open it without checking, knowing that there were only two people in the world who knew where you lived now. 

Namjoon and Seokjin are standing there with hands brimming with equipment. 

“Come on in. The room’s mostly set-up now.” 

They kick off their shoes somehow and scuffle towards the second bedroom that was mostly sparse beyond a desk holding your computer, a chair, and soundproofing foam panels on the walls. In the pair’s arms were the rest of the recording equipment you’d need to establish the room as your official workspace. 

Namjoon mumbles that he can take care of the setup so you let Jin pull you to the tiny kitchen and put on some tea while you wait. 

“So...how was your first night as an independent woman?” Seokjin asks while he pulls down your new mugs and turns on the kettle. 

“...Alright, I guess. Quiet,” you murmur softly, putting bags in the cups. 

He nods in understanding. You’d moved out of their place after staying there for nearly a month. You’d tried leaving earlier, but Seokjin and Namjoon had been adamant that you needed to stay and let them watch out for you for a little while before you decided. Personally, you’d suspected that they’d probably thought they were on suicide watch, but you were fine. Well, perhaps not fine, but nowhere near thinking about that kind of thing. 

“I wasn’t sure if I was going to tell you or not, but you should know that Yoongi didn’t take it well,” he sighs and sets down his cup. “There was...a lot of yelling. A lot of...you know...him puffing up and getting angry at us to hide how devastated he was. He blamed us and said we were turning you against him and that setting up a studio in your apartment so you’d never have to see him again was obviously something that I came up with because you would never do that. He even started saying some stuff about how Namjoon was obviously using this as a chance to steal you away because of the tiny crush he had on you back when you all first met.” 

“Oh, Jesus,” you huff and rub your eyes. “I’m sorry you had to deal with that. He’s...that’s just always been his fighting style. He zeros in on the one thing he can say that would hurt you the most and stabs you with it. Please don’t hold it against him.” 

He reaches over and pets your hair softly. “I know. It’s...it’s going to take a while but he’s going to need us too when this starts to settle down a little more. Right now you are our priority because you’re the one that’s been wronged, but...he’s still our marshmallow Yoongichi and we’ll need to pick him up too. Even if we are incredibly disappointed in him. Both of them.” 

You nod, closing your eyes. “He...did he look...bad?” 

“Yeah, I’m not gonna lie. His clothes were all messed up and he’s gotten really skinny. Don’t think he’s eating much either. But...you don’t need to worry about that. That’s not your responsibility. He made his choices. Jimin made his choices. Now it’s time for you to have your turn.” 

You nod silently, knowing he was right. That didn’t make it any easier. 

It felt almost like you’d been in a trance since that night Yoongi had ordered you to leave. You remembered driving to Jin’s and sitting in their guestroom, staring at the ceiling blankly once your chest hurt too much to cry any longer. 

When the knocking started, there had been one tiny spark of hope that Yoongi had finally come to his senses and was there to apologize. To drop to his knees and beg you to come back. That he would do anything…

But the high tones of Jimin’s begging squashed that final dream. Yoongi couldn’t even be bothered to come even now. He had to send Jimin to do the talking for him. And finally...FINALLY...you were overcome by rage. 

No more. You were done. 

You shook your head no to Namjoon’s silent question over whether he should let Jimin inside, and then you just stood there listening to him trying to talk through the door. He said some things that surprised you and some that didn’t. You’d known he was developing some sort of feeling for you - whether that was actually love or that he just liked having sex you didn’t know, and really you weren’t sure you cared anymore. 

He’d managed to stick around for an hour, which had impressed you, but you hadn’t been surprised when he finally gave up and left. That had also been the last time you’d seen or heard from either of them. Yoongi hasn’t tried to call and you certainly weren’t going to be the one to beg for him to take you back. You had absolutely nothing to apologize for. You’d done nothing but love that man with everything you had - and it still hadn’t been good enough. 

It was with that thought in mind that you essentially set up camp in the Kim household while you tried to figure out your next steps. They’d been kind enough to go get some of your belongings. Apparently, Jimin had cried while he helped them pack up enough for now and promised to have everything else ready for them to come back for later. Namjoon put you on official leave from work and with a few changes on social media you were now almost officially completely severed from your life with Yoongi. The house had been in his name, you’d never combined accounts, your car was your own. Honestly, it seemed almost too easy. Your lives were now entirely separate beyond the tears in your soul that would last forever. 

Namjoon had convinced you to keep your job, promising that you could work from home and the company would cover the costs of converting your second room into a studio. It was incredibly indulgent on his part but you didn’t even think of turning him down. You loved your job and you definitely needed the financial comfort it would bring as you started over. The rest of the apartment was still kind of shabby since you’d been worrying about the studio first, but eventually, you’d get around to making it feel like a home. 

Namjoon struts from the studio with a grin, wiping his hands together. “All done! Just waiting for you to set up passwords and stuff now. Kinda jealous now. Jin, can I set up a studio at home? I like the idea of working in my underwear.” 

Seokjin scowls playfully. “Don’t even think about it.” 

You huff lightly, but don’t miss the way they seemed to be discussing something with their eyes before they both turn to you. 

“There’s...uh...something else that you should probably know. You might not want to know or care but we thought we should at least tell you,” Namjoon begins, his eyes constantly flitting between yours and Jin’s. 

“Just tell me, Joon.” 

“They, uh. Yoongi and Jimin, they...broke up? I guess. Don’t know the whole story yet but apparently, Jimin’s been staying in a hotel near the company. We’re all watching Yoongi closely to make sure history doesn’t repeat itself, but, yeah. Thought you should probably know,” Namjoon says quickly, cringing like he expected you to go on a rampage despite the fact that you never have before. 

Instead, you simply scoff, because wasn’t that just perfect. All that pain you went through, all the fighting and sacrifices, and in the end, it was all for nothing. 

“Are you okay?” Seokjin asks softly, bumping your shoulder with his. 

You smile up at him, though it doesn’t meet your eyes. “I will be.” 

******

“I can’t believe you’ve done this.” 

You sigh angrily into your phone as you walk towards the cafe, wondering for the millionth time why you let Kim Seokjin order you around so much. 

“It’s been six months, sweetie. It’s time and he perfect for you, I promise! He’ll be a drooling mess at your feet in no time.” 

When you’d gotten ready for the café, you’d thought you were simply meeting your friend Jin for coffee and gossip, like usual. Only he’d called you when you were only a couple minutes away to inform you that it was actually a blind date. Surprise, bitch. 

“Does he at least know why he’s there?” 

“Of course! He was really excited too. Seems he’s had the hots for you for ages.” 

You were thankful he couldn’t tease you for the blush on your cheeks. “No one calls it the hots anymore, grandpa.” 

“Nevermind. Date canceled. I’m not saddling my Hobi Hobi with someone so disrespectful…”

“Calm down. Fuck, I’m not dressed for a date, Jinnie. I thought it was just going to be us so I’m just wearing jeans and a hoodie.” 

“It’s not my fault you don’t dress up for me.” 

You finally reach the café and stare at the sign like it would give you courage. “I can’t do this…” 

“Breathe. You can. You have no reason to feel guilty or undeserving. I picked the best one I can find for you, but if it doesn’t work out that’s okay too. There is no pressure. All I want is for you to be happy.” 

Your heart swelled, remembering that, oh yeah, this is why you kept Kim Seokjin around. 

“I really love you a lot, you know that right? You are the best friend I could ever ask for.” 

He chuckles happily. “I’ll remind you that you said that the next time you get mad at me. Good luck. Call me if you need to escape. Treat Hoseokie with care, too. He’s like one of those Gremlins. Don’t put him in water or anything high, and he turns into a weird sex demon after midnight.” 

“Should I ask how you know that?” 

“I know everything about everyone, my dear Y/N. Everything.” 

You’d call him out on his bluff if you were more certain that it actually was one. 

“Alright, I’m going in. Love you.” 

“Love you. Be nice to Hoseok.” 

You close the call and stuff your phone in your pocket, taking the chance to brush out any wrinkles and calm yourself. You just wished that you were wearing something cuter than a pink hoodie that you were pretty sure belonged to Jin at one point. At least your converse were pink to match and you’d done your hair. 

You enter the café, the stupid little bell making everyone’s heads turn toward you like you weren’t nervous enough. You think you spot the guy in question sitting next to a window, but you buy yourself some time with getting your drink first, peeking at him out of the corner of your eye. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t know him at all, you’d just never really talked to him. He worked at the company as a choreographer so naturally, you’ve seen him around. It was merely that producers like you were usually goblins that cooped themselves up in their studios and didn’t really get around to meeting everyone. It was impossible to not notice Hoseok though. Beyond the fact that he was handsome, he was also incredibly bright. Both inside and outside. You were sure you’d seen every color of the rainbow on his head at some point, and it was currently a flattering shade of orange that not many could pull off. 

Once you had your drink in hand, you turn and head towards the table. Hoseok is already standing to greet you, his smile wide and unabashed, and you finally begin to feel the first tingles of excitement. And maybe a few nervous butterflies. 

“Hi, Hoseok,” you smile shyly and sit when he gestures to a chair, trying not to laugh when he nearly tumbles trying to sit back down. 

“Hello!” he practically yells, and you finally notice that he just might be nervous too. He clears his throat and tries again. “Hi. Thanks for coming.” 

“Yeah, I...uh. I’m going to be honest - I only knew this was happening a few minutes ago. I thought I was meeting Jin,” you smile awkwardly, chuckling. 

He cringes and seems to droop before your very eyes. “Oh, sorry. I...I don’t want this to be a forced thing. I’ll just...uh. See you around?” 

He gets up to leave and you’re not sure what makes you grab his jean jacket to stop him. 

“No, please. Stay? I...I’m going to be bad at this because it’s been a long time but...I can try?” 

His smile is the happiest thing you’ve ever seen in your life. “Yeah? Okay. Alright, let’s do this.” 

You laugh and settle back into your seat, watching him as he does the same. He’s so expressive and vocal as he starts telling you a story about his day (one of his new kids fell and made the other ones fall like dominos and now his best dancer was out with a sprained ankle). He asked questions about your life, your interests, asked about your work. He was so beautiful and yet he looked at you like you were something awe-inspiring. It had been a long time since anyone had seemed so genuinely interested in you. Before you knew it an hour had flown by and your stomach was beginning to hurt from laughing so much. 

“So, I was thinking if I hadn’t scared you off yet, maybe you’d be willing to continue this date? But like, somewhere else because if I drink another cup of tea I’m going to burst,” Hoseok wrinkled his nose and sent you a shy smile, a single tiny dimple poking out. 

“I’d like that,” you grin, surprised yet again that you actually meant it. That you were actually excited to spend more time with him. “Maybe we could just walk around for a while and talk. There’s a park across the street and lots of people play music and stuff. And then maybe you could take me dancing tonight. Show off those moves you keep bragging about.” 

Where had this confident woman come from? 

Thankfully, his grin widens and he nods eagerly. “That sounds perfect. But first...little boys room. Be right back.” 

You giggle and settle back into your see as you watch him scurry frantically to the bathrooms - no surprise since he’d downed three cups of peppermint tea. You turn to observe the room to pass the time and that’s when you spot him. 

He’s standing near the pick-up counter with an iced americano in his hand, the condensation and half-melted ice suggesting he’d been there for a while. His haunted gaze is locked right on you and you meet it even as your stomach clenches with a myriad of emotions. 

Six months. Such a short time in the grand scheme of things but still so long since you’d last seen him. He’s as beautiful as ever, even if he’s obviously been losing weight that he didn’t need to and his lounging around the house clothes he was wearing in public gave off the IDGAF vibe. 

Yoongi seems to finally come to a decision as he saunters closer, eyes wide and unblinking like he’s afraid if he looks away for a single second you’ll disappear. He finally reaches your table and you fight the instinct to make a run for it. 

“Hey,” he says softly, his hand clenching tightly enough around his drink to make the plastic crinkle. 

“Hey,” you answer softly, unsure of what else to say. 

“You look beautiful,” he continues with a soft tone like he’s speaking to a spooked rabbit. Perhaps he was. 

“Thanks.” 

He nods silently, continuing to stare. “So...you’re on a date with Hoseok?” 

“Uh...yeah,” you swallow nervously. “Blind date. Seokjin set it up.” 

He nods again and licks his lips. “Yeah? That’s...good. Hoseok’s a good guy.” 

“Yeah. He seems nice.” 

“Yeah.” 

“You’re...doing okay?” You’re not sure what prompted you to ask. Perhaps there will always be a part of you that worries about him - you already know that there’s always going to be a part of your soul that belongs to him. 

He shrugs, “Alright. You?” 

“Yeah. I’m good. Have an apartment and going to counseling.” 

He flinches as if you’d just slapped him. “Sorry.” 

“It’s not just...because of you or what happened. It’s, you know, the past and all that too. Just needed to work things out. I think it’s helping. Maybe...maybe you could try it too.” 

“Maybe,” he responds noncommittally, his eyes finally falling to the floor. “I miss you.” 

Your heartbeat quickens. “Yeah. I miss you too.” 

“Do you think...maybe we could try…”

You cut him off before he can even finish that sentence. “No.” 

That was maybe too harsh because he looked like he wanted to melt into the floor straight to hell. 

“I...will always miss you. And a part of me will probably always love the Yoongi I had before, but no. I don’t quite have the gift of words that you do, but I just know that we weren’t right for each other. I mean, I was technically just a very long rebound before you got your chance with Jimin again, in the end.” 

“That’s not how it was. I loved you. I love you,” he grits out, his eyes taking on a steely edge as he looked back up. 

“Yeah. I know you did, just maybe not the right way. And I loved you, but I let you bulldoze over me. So maybe we could have been good, but you got greedy and I needed to learn to not be a doormat.” 

He nods and once again looks like a kicked puppy. 

You sigh and tap on the table nervously. “But for those years that we were together - I will always love that Yoongi. I will look back and remember that once upon a time there was a man and a woman who were crazy in love and built a home together. Who had dreams of building a lifetime together. I will hope that Yoongi has a happy life and that he finds what he needs. That he can find a companion who makes him want to fight for what they have together.” 

The tears streaming down his cheeks make you pause, realizing you’re fighting back some of your own. 

“I love you, Min Yoongi. But you weren’t right for me. Now it’s time for me to find my place in this world. Maybe Hoseok is it, maybe he isn’t. I’d like to think I don’t need another person to help me feel complete. Whatever it is, I’m learning how to speak up and fight for myself. I hope you can learn to be happy for me.” 

He nods, sniffling. “Whatever you want. I just...I just wanted you to know. I love you. I really did. And...I’m sorry. For what I did. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I hurt Jimin. Do you think...you’ll ever want to at least talk to me?” 

“I don’t know yet. Maybe someday. I don’t think you’re ready.” 

“Okay. I’ll be here.” 

“Yeah. I...you have to go home now, Yoongi. I’m on a date.” 

His watery eyes widen again, and he nods slowly. “Right, yeah. Sorry. Again. And...please. Call me or whatever if you ever need anything. I...won’t expect anything else. Just know that I’m here if you need someone. Can I ask for that, at least?” 

You nod, “Yeah. Thank you, Yoongi. I’ll...see you around.” 

He gulps and backs up. “Yeah, see you, Y/N.” 

He turns swiftly and practically jogs towards the entrance while you try to memorize what could be your last glimpse of the man you once loved. 

“Everything okay?” 

You jump and your eyes fly over to meet the sympathetic ones of Hoseok. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. I saw him talking to you and thought it was best to let you have privacy. Was that okay?” 

“Yeah,” you sigh. “He just wanted to talk. And...it was good. I think I finally feel a little more closure.” 

“So...I’m not like a rebound, right? Like, I know that you guys were dating and I heard some of it from Seokjin but...” 

“Uh...you’re the first time I’m trying to actually date since Yoongi. If that clears things up a bit,” you answer with a blush. You were not about to go into detail about those couple months of desperate hookups you’d used to try and gain your confidence back before you’d started therapy. 

Thankfully, he seems to not mind that bit of news judging by the wicked grin that paints his lips. “Oh?” 

“Shut up,” you growl, playfully swatting him. 

He chuckles and reaches out a hand to you. “Do you still feel up to continuing our date? If not, I’ll totally understand and we can reschedule. I’ll only cry and stress-eat a tiny bit, I promise.” 

You snort and accept his hand, letting him help you up. In a moment of bravery, you lace your arm in his and tug him towards the entrance. 

“Just you try to get away from me now, Jung Hoseok.” 

He giggles and lets you lead the way, both of you exiting the café and feeling hopeful about the future. 

[crowdedimagines]

Leaked (Finale) Harry Styles

“You guys got to see a very raw and real side of us. It’s a bummer that it wasn’t our choice, we didn’t choose to reveal such a personal thing that happened, not to mention what else has been leaked.” I sigh, finally breaking eye contact with the camera sitting on a tripod in front of us. The fans will be getting a glimpse into Harry’s home for this video.

“I know what I signed up for when I got into this business, very little privacy, but I never expected it to come to this extreme. M’very private with my relationships, and I never want to see anyone-'' He pauses to focus himself again, I place a hand on his thigh and attempt to carry on. Against the better judgement of both Jeff and Jordan we both decided against a script, we had highlighted points we wanted to address, but didn’t want it to seem disingenuous.

“Harry and I lost a child last July.” I pick my head up letting the tears openly fall without letting myself choke over them, “And the song you guys have all heard came from that, a place of hurt and exhaustion. We never expected the world to hear it, and we never thought those pictures would be out in the world either. But that’s life isn’t it?” I laugh humorlessly.

The song was leaked a few hours ago now, my name having never left the top trending on twitter, but now Harry’s and several conspiracies have joined it. People cutting parts from it with raw and loud sobs coming from each of us, open for discussion among the whole world.

“We love you all, but please understand our choice to step back from the public for the time being.” Harry chimes in. We both look at each other and nod, feeling we addressed what we need to.

“Treat people with kindness, yeah?” I ask as we both get up from our spot on Harry’s couch.

“Yeah.” He pulls me in for a hug, as Jeff gets up to cut the camera. Our teams were both getting the footage and posting it to our accounts. Harry and I have both agreed to a break from phones for a bit.

“Okay, so this will be posted across all platforms, on both of your accounts shortly. I don’t think we’ll need to edit much.”

I walk over to the other side of the living room where Jordan is standing reading through her phone, she glances up as soon as she sees me coming. She puts on a smile, and pulls me in for a tight hug. She knows just how long the past few days have been.

“Alright, Paula and I booked flights, we’re heading out this afternoon to go home.”

“What about me?” I question.

“We both know that you need to stay here for a while.” She smiles, “Take some time to heal, just remember you two never fell out of love. Call me if you need anything.”

I glance back at Harry whose now joined by his sister and mother. I don’t want to leave, to be completely honest. The last thing I want is to have to go home to my empty house in L.A. Harry and I ran away from each other last year, maybe this is the opportunity for us to finally stop running.

Harry’s POV

“Don’t you think that you need to heal together this time? You can’t let her leave again.” My mum explains, trying to make her point, as quietly as possible. I watch as she glances over my shoulder to where Y/n must be somewhere.

“Mum, I can’t make her stay.” I shake my head. I couldn’t make her stay before, now we’ve spent so much time apart. All I want is to pull her into my arms, but I don’t know if that’s what she wants after all this time. Hell, after this week she might not ever want anything to do with me.

“No, but you can ask her.” Gemma nods her head in Y/n’s direction as she walks over to join us.

“Harry, can I talk to you?” Her voice is soft and calm. My shoulders visibly drop as I relax and follow her to the back porch. We sit in the same spot on the couch as we did yesterday.

“What’s going on, love?” I ask once we’ve both taken a seat.

“Well, Jordan and Paula are flying out this afternoon.” She says, she pulls her legs up close to her chest.

“And you?”

Please god tell me you’re staying.

“I think I might stay.” She picks up her head, “If that's alright with you.”

I can’t fight off the smile at this point. I just give her a simple nod, pulling her close to lean on my shoulder. I should’ve known that we were on the exact same page, we always have been.

“I don’t think I could go back to an empty house, to be honest.” She sighs.

“I don’t think I could let you walk out of that door again, to be honest.”

Y/n’s POV

“Do you mean that?” I ask, picking up my head, “Truly?”

He simply nods and bites at his bottom lip.

“What are we supposed to do, Harry? I don’t think we can just pick up where we left off?”

“No, but isn’t that the beauty of it? We can try again, try for a different outcome. Build on how much we already love each other.”

“Hmm, how much we already love each other?” I smirk, my tone taking on a teasing edge.

“Mhm.” Harry hums, his cheeks taking on a pink hue.

“Alright Styles, lets give this a shot.”

T W O Y E A R S L A T E R

“Hello? Is anybody home?” Anne’s voice rings out loudly as she lets herself in the front door.

I make my way downstairs, I’m sure that she’s found Harry who's in the kitchen getting dinner prepared. Gemma got here about ten minutes ago. I put on a record and go to stand in the doorway and watch the encounter. Anne gives her son a big hug, stealing a carrot from his cutting board as they make small chat to catch up.

“Hello.” I walk in, making my presence known.

“Look out you!” Anne squeals, “You’re glowing!” She immediately walks over to pull me in for a hug, her hands resting on my belly once I pull away.

“I feel like a bit of a whale, but thank you.” I smile.

“Oh hush it.” Harry scolds.

“How’re you feeling?”

“Like I’m having a baby in four weeks.”

“Yeah, and she’s still going on runs!” Harry says with a proud grin, “Every morning she gets up with me and we run a few miles.”

“It’s pretty much a fast walk for Harry though.” I smile.

“Yeah, but he isn’t forming a pancreas while he does it!” Gemma cuts in making us all laugh. “We’re more impressed with you.”

“Exactly.” Harry presses a kiss to my temple.

I join Gemma at the counter while Anne helps Harry finish cooking everything. I would help, but my ankles are too swollen by the end of the day, and I know everyone in the room would kick me out before I could even start.

“So, things have been going well with everything? You guys feeling ready to be parents?” Anne grins.

“Is anyone ready before they are?” I ask, “I’m just trying to take it one day at a time, and read as much as I can.”

“You guys will be wonderful parents.”

It means the world to hear this from Anne. It’s been weird to be in London for most of the pregnancy and away from my own mother, but it’s been a blessing to have Anne. She’s an amazing mom herself, and she hasn’t complained once over my odd and annoying questions.

“And if not they’ll have the best Aunt ever to make up for it.”

I roll my eyes and take Gemma’s hand in mine and set it on the front of my belly. Moving and adjusting to the exact spot that the little bean is kicking in.

“That’s mad.” She sighs, “I don’t think I would ever be able to get over that.”

“Harry can be like a leech sometimes! Can’t get him off.” I laugh.

“You feel it all, I’m going to steal as much time as I possibly can.”

We all sit down to eat, and catch up on everything that we’ve missed in life over the past few weeks. Ever since the pregnancy both Anne and Gemma have made an effort to come to our house as often as they can for meals, or even just a visit.

I think we were all a bit shocked to find out I was once again pregnant. Harry and I couldn’t believe it at first, I don’t think we wanted to. Didn’t want to risk getting our hopes up. It had been a year and a few months since we got back together when we found out. Four tests sitting on the counter, two thins lines on each of them.

We waited a long time before telling anyone, too afraid that it could be a repeat of what happened those years ago. Once we did finally tell our families they couldn’t be more excited. The fans were too, surprisingly. I debated pulling a Kylie Jenner and just disappearing from the world for months, but I knew I would get too stir crazy. So as soon as the bump was visible, Harry and I both confirmed it on social media.

The fans were happy for us, most of them were so disappointed and saddened about what happened, they felt bad that we were made to share things neither of us were ready too. This time we were trending for positive reasons, and I’ve never felt more supported by everyone in my life.

F O U R W E E K S L A T E R

“Love, are you sure I’m good to go to the studio?” Harry asks for the millionth time, not wanting to leave me home alone so close to my due date.

“Yes!” I laugh, pushing him closer to the door, “You actually have the time while the bean is inside me, I’ll need you here once they’re out.”

“Alright.” He says with hesitancy, “Please call me for anything. The studio isn’t even far from here, so please don’t hesitate with anything.”

“Ok, babe, just go so you can come back!”

“Promise you’ll call?”

“Yes, I promise.” I laugh, he’s always been protective, but now he’s to a whole nother level since the pregnancy.

“Alright, I’ll bring home food too, I really shouldn’t be gone too long.”

“That’s perfect, babe! Maybe we can get - ow!”

He instantly turns around and pulls his hand from the door when I cry out in pain.

“Darling? Are you okay?”

“No, I’m fine.” I hold out my hand, “It was just this really sharp-ow!”

I cry out again, clutching my belly. Before I know it, a warm liquid is spreading down my legs.

“Love, your water just broke!” He cheers, his eyes saying nervous but he has a smile on his face. “I guess I’m not going to the studio.”

“Oh god!” I groan, I start waddling towards the door, “Okay, you grab the go-bag, I’m gonna start walking to the car.”

I know it might take me awhile to get there. I know it’s not true, but I feel like I need to keep my knees shut from keeping the little bean from falling out.

“Right, go bag.” He mutters to himself, slowly becoming more flustered, “Should we call an ambulance?”

“No.” I laugh, taking deep breaths.

“Love, are you sure you’re okay?”

“Just grab the bag so we can go to the hospital.”

“Yeah-”

“Harry!” I yell, “In the coming hours I am going to force a human being out of my vagina. Now I personally would like to do that at a hospital, will you go grab the bag, or do you need me to do it?”

He swallows and runs upstairs to grab the bag and I make my way to the car. It doesn’t take him long at all, now he’s finally had some sense smacked into him.

“We’re really doing this?” He asks, smiling as he pulls out of the driveway.

“We’re really doing this.” I grin, taking his hand in mine.

O N E   Y E A R  L A T E R

“Happy birthday to you dear, Anderson, happy birthday to you!” We all sing to the little one year old boy I hold tight to my chest.

“Let’s blow out the candles, baby.” I lean forward and blow out the singular candle for the one year old. We made a true event of it, calling everyone we knew practically to celebrate in our backyard, complete with so many games for other children, even though our son was still too young to play most of them. Harry and I couldn’t be more proud of our little boy.

Everyone cheers, I smile looking at Harry who’s got a similar grin. A year in the making to get to this day, lot’s of late nights, but more laughter than anything else. It’s been a wonderful afternoon, everyone loving the little boy who looks practically identical to his father. Cheering as he smashes his little cake all over his face, the table, and his clothes.

“Alright, let’s have Grandma get you all cleaned up!” Anne says as she steals Anderson from me. I smile watching her take the giggly little boy inside to get the cake he’s managed to smear everywhere cleaned off.

Most everyone has left at this point, it has been a packed house to celebrate the one year old, but as it gets later things slow down. It’s finally just down to immediate family and Harry and I can put our feet up for a few minutes.

“Can you believe it? A whole year we’ve been parents.” I lean back into Harry’s side. We’re sat on the outdoor couch, a spot that has grown to contain a lot of heart to hearts over the years.

“No, he’s getting too big too fast.” Harry presses a kiss to the top of my head, “He’s going to be needing another sibling soon.”

I let out a soft chuckle.

“Hmm, is that so?”

“Yeah, who wouldn’t want another kid like that?” We both look over our shoulders to peek in to see Gemma and Anne playing with blocks on the floor in the living room.

“Are you gonna push the next one out?” I tease, I get up and grab the only unopened present that’s remained on the table all day.

“It’s funny that you should say that.” I smirk, turning my attention back on the man I love. I hand him the box, neatly wrapped in polka-dot paper.

“What’s this?”

“Just open it.” I sit down again.

He tears the paper from the box and flips the lid open. His jaw dropping as soon as he sees the contents. Pulling out an olive green tee shirt for Anderson. Simply written across it is “Big Brother”

“You’re teasing me?” His eyes look hopeful though, like he’s praying I wouldn’t tease him like that.

“You can check the four tests in my drawer in the bathroom if you don’t believe me.” I smirk, “Or the fact that I have an appointment at the clinic this Monday.”

“Shut up.” His grin only getting wider.

“Baby Styles number two, coming soon.”

He tackles me down to the couch, a big warm hug.

“Oh my god.” He sighs into my neck. “I can’t wait to do this all again.”

“Me neither.” I grin, rubbing my hands up and down his back. He finally pulls back to get a good look at me, holding my face in his hands.

“God, I love you so much.”

“I love you, too.”

kinda cheese, but a fun way to end it! this was cute lol

[imagintheworldaway]

Together

Anonymous asked: Hello! Can you do a Harryxfem! Reader where people see how Harry looks at the reader (calorie challenge- rematch (time stamp 27:17)) and the reader is so oblivious to Harry’s feeling for her because he broke up with his long-term ex last fall and she doesn’t want to read deep into it and just keeps telling people that they’re just friends even though everyone can see past the bull crap and keeps shipping them because they’re very similar and meant to be and after months of Harry pinning after her he tries to move on and go on dates (which fails but she doesn’t know that it’s not working out for him ) so she starts seeing someone and magically somehow end up together and become the “it” couple because of how blunt and honest they are. Sorry that was long! Hope you can write it thanks!

A/N Good gosh this is a long one. I hope you enjoy! Requests are open 

Sitting on the sofa next to Cal, snuggled in a mountain of blankets in Harrys apartment whilst the boys filmed a video was always fun. They were filming the 100,000 calorie challenge and it was JJ, Vik , Cal and Harrys turn to be eating the calories. We were sat watching JJ as he revealed he had absolutely failed the challenge to everyones surprise. The boys all started to complain as I giggled at the failure which was JJ right now. I felt a slight nudge on my side and Cal not so discreetly nodding towards Harry, I looked over at him and smiled but he averted his gaze from me and buried his head into the massive bear still complaining at JJ as it was revealed he had messed up the challenge even more by starting before the official time. 

After JJ’s little mess up they decided to make the fried mars bars, and I feel as though even saying it is cause for disaster. The boys were all crowded around the counter, just making a mess really, not much surprise there. I was happy in my own little world scrolling through instagram with the boys chatter in the background when I started to smell something burning and a mass amount of smoke from the boys. “Oh my god you idiots” I said matter of factly before grabbing the pan and holding it out the window, not wanting the apartment to stink of burnt mars bars as the guys tried to switch off the fire alarm. 

Once everything had calmed down I started to clean up as the boys ate the left over chocolates. “ you don’t have to clean up Y/N” Harry said to me as he bought over a plate to the sink. “Its ok I don’t mind, something to do at least” I smiled up at him. “You sure? I feel bad” he said scratching his shoulder and giving me an awkward smile. “I’m sure, go enjoy your food” I giggled pushing the boy away from me slightly. I finished up the washing as the boys chatted over their takeaways trying to figure out how many calories they were up to. I popped the remaining dishes in the dish washer and popped it on for the boys. 

Once they had finished Cal and I bid the boys goodbye and hoped in an Uber, we lived in the same apartment complex so it made sense that we shared rides just about everywhere. “Soooo” cal started tapping his his legs to the beat of the song that the Uber driver had popped on for us. i gave him a questioning glance as I sent my text to Harry, informing him I had popped the dish washer on and for him not to forget about it. “When are you two finally going to get together” Cal said peering over my shoulder and trying to take a peek at my texts with Harry. I just scoffed switching off my phone and turning my head to look at Cal. “Look he got out of a long term relationship not even six months ago, he just needs a friend right now, and that’s all I am, a friend, plus even if he hadn’t just gotten out of a relationship, well I don’t think he’d be interested in me anyway, like I said I’m just a friend” I shrugged to Cal giving him a half smile trying to cover the sadness which was evident on my face. “I don’t know Y/N if you ask me, or well any of the lads he looks at you like your a gift here gracing us all with your presence. like your some type of angel, he likes you, he really does, he’s just scared to ruin what you have” Cal stated as we hoped out the uber and made our ways into the lift. “Well I don’t want to sound rude, but I didn’t ask Cal, I don’t need my hopes being brought up just for it all to be speculation.” I stated matter of factly. “This is me, I’ll see you later yh?” I questioned Cal who just pursed his lips and nodded to me giving a small see ya. 

I really wasn’t trying to be rude but I had had my heartbroken so many times, and I don’t want to start getting my hopes up about Harry if it is just all speculation and some sort of narrative the lads were making up for themselves. I slumped down on my bed and posted a selfie on instagram asking people what they want to know about me. I wasn’t a huge YouTuber but I did have a large instagram following meaning the questions flooded in within an instant. There was the usual that I answered such as my favourite colour, what am I having for dinner, best place I had ever visited and so on. After a few more generic questions someone asked what my favourite picture was. I scrolled through my camera roll and found one of Harry and I at winter wonderland. we were both wearing Santa hats and he was giving me a piggy bag as I held onto a large teddy he had won me moments before. I captioned it ‘Christmas with my Bestfriend, look at how goofy he looks @wroetoshaw’ I giggled as I posted the pic remembering that day. it was a rare day off for the both of us and with Harrys break up still fresh I decided we should go to Winter Wonderland and just have fun. Which we did, it was one of my most treasured memories with him. He had taken his breakup so hard that I felt it was important that he had a friend around who could take the crying and emotions, someone to just cuddle with and forget about the world. And over the past few months I realised that my feelings for Harry had grown, but he was still hurting and there was no way that I was being any boys re-bound. 

I must have fallen asleep because I woke up to blaring light through the blinds of my lounge. I groaned to myself before getting up and trudging to my bedroom to sort myself out. i looked at my phone and I had a few texts from Harry. I smiled as I read them. 

‘Thank you! Almost forgot, you are honestly the best Xx’

‘You alive???? Xx’

‘Good night Xx’

‘Like the insta pic’

I furrowed my eyebrows at the last text. It was sent only minutes after the goodnight text and it didn’t have any of the kisses we usually put on the end of our texts to each other. I also hadn’t got a good morning text from Harry, that was particularly strange because I have always gotten a Good morning and Good night text from him for the past few months with out fail. I just shrugged it off before replying, 

‘Haha no problem! I fell asleep as soon as I got home I’m sorry :( wanna meet up later? Xx’

I smiled at my reply before going to my bedroom and changing to look more presentable. I checked my phone and it was almost lunch meaning Cal was coming over to film a video with me. just as I re adjusted my hair for the a millionth time I heard a knock on the door signalling that cal was here. “Hello stranger” I smiled letting him into my apartment with the array of crisps and snacks he had in his arms. We were filming a British corner shop mukbang whilst answering twitter questions. As Cal settled himself in my studio I helped by opening the array of snacks and cans of drink that he had bought for us. “Hey really weird question but have you heard from Harry today?” I questioned trying not to sound so desperate as to the whereabouts of the boy. “Uh yh messaging me all morning, think he’s got something on tonight. He not told you?” Cal looked up from the array of junk raising his eyebrows at me as I just shook my head in disbelief that he was ignoring me. As we settled in our seats and I turned the camera on I sent Harry a quick text. 

‘Hey have I done something wrong?? :( Xx’ 

The video was going amazing. Cal and I just naturally bounced off of each other and the questions the fans were giving us were quite juicy. “Alright, alright, I’ve got one. Y/N has Harry asked you out yet or is he still being a melt? From @CalFreezy” I giggled at the question and raised my eyebrows at Cal. “These are meant to be from Fans” I retorted to Cal telling him off a little. “Yh Freezy is your biggest fan he’s always nattering on about you and talking about you moving in with them when Harry gets the guts” Cal defended himself causing me to burst out laughing. “Well we all know Harry and I are friends, I love him very much but that’s as deep as it goes” I replied to Cals previous question from Freezy, slight sadness barely evident in my voice. “Is that the only thing that goes deep” Cal stated before bursting out laughing at himself and falling back in his chair ultimately falling off of it causing me to laugh. “Well that’s it for today guys thank you for watching and thanks to this idiot for joining me” I smiled at the camera before shutting it off and helping Cal from the floor. 

“You really need to stop that you know? You can’t force anything to happen” I said matter of factly towards cal as he nibbled on some Pringles. “You see Y/N I’m actually Cal from the future and I’m just stating facts” he gave me a cheesy grin as I tutted at him and rolled my eyes. I was taken out of my trance by a text from my phone. “Alright ditch me for lover boy” Cal called after me. I opened my phone to see it was from Harry but it wasn’t what I was expecting. 

‘Hey Y/N, we shouldn’t hang out anymore it makes Belle uncomfortable.’ 

“Cal what the fuck is this” I shouted to my friend. I heard the thudding of his feet and turned around to show him the message I had just received. He furrowed his eyebrows. “Belle Belle Belle Oh Belle, her really?” Cal scrunched his nose up at me. “Ummm elaborate, who’s Belle?” I pressed for him to release more info to me. “Oh Harry went on a date with her like three weeks ago, looks like it worked out, well for them I guess” Cal shrugged piecing the different parts of the puzzle together for me. “Oh, wow, so he is just gonna drop me like that, like I’m, I’m nothing, like i wasn’t the one there for him when he was mourning over his last breakup. Well that’s a kick in the teeth” I said starting to sniffle, tears threatening to break their way out of my eyes and my mood instantly dropping to nothing. “Hey no don’t cry” Cal said engulfing me in a hug, which I gladly melted into. “If he couldn’t see what he had with you then that boy is more blind than we all thought.” Cal reassured me rubbing my back. “Plus your make up looks too nice to cry it off” Cal said catching a stray tear from my face and making me giggle a little. “Oh Cal why can’t we fall in love?” I questioned sniffing and straightening out my clothes. “Because that would be like fucking my sister and that’s weird” Cal stated making me giggle. 

I don’t think anyone could quite get their heads wrapped around the fact that Harry was with someone new, especially because that someone was not me. For the next month I got fans tweeting me asking if Harry and I had broken up or if he had gone crazy. I also got sorry looks from my friends. Always being placed in the furthest seat away from Harry, always given excuses as to why I couldn’t come to shoots. It sucked majorly. And the worst part about all of this is everyone felt like they had to tread on eggshells around me, as if I wasn’t a fully grown woman who could handle these situations. 

I knocked on Simons apartment door before he opened it replying to someone about something. “Oh Y/N you alright” he said quickly closing the door a little. “Yh Talia said I could pop round and grab my camera that she borrowed.” I said smiling at the lanky man. “Oh yh well um come in, just be careful yh” Simon nodded at me. I furrowed my eyebrows and just nodded at his comment following him through to the living room. And as soon as I saw the tall figure sat next to Harry with an unimpressed look on her face I realised why Simon gave me such a warning. “Heyyyy Y/N Is here” Ethan called standing up giving me a hug making me giggle a little. “Yh Talia knicked my camera again” I stated smiling at the girl who blushed a little realising she still hadn’t returned my device. “Oh so that’s Y/N” a snotty voice said causing everyone to quiet down and all eyes turning in her direction. “Yup, the one and only” I smiled back at her trying to be as nice as possible. “Belle right? Nice to meet you” I smiled back at her trying to make conversation in the silent room. I rocked back and forth on my heels for a while, Belle gave me a good look up and down, narrowing her eyes and pursing her lips as if wanting to comment something. Before she could I saw Harry whisper something to her and she scoffed. “If I have an opinion I’m going to say it. And I have many about her” Belle said loud enough for everyone to hear whilst pointing at me. “Here I found it” Talia smiled at me handing me my camera before noticing the mood of the room. 

“Ok well, I will be off then, lovely to see you all and to meet you Belle” I stated the last part through gritted teeth before spinning around and making my way to the door. “Even worse from the back” I heard Belle try and whisper to I presume Harry. I stopped in my tracks and raised my eyebrows. The audacity of this girl, how dare she disrespect me in front of all my friends. I turned around to meet her eyes with a sickeningly sweet smile on my face. Before I could say anything though Talia butted in. “You know what, you do not talk to my friend like that, I have barely known you a month and I am so sick of you already, please leave before I do or say something I regret” she smiled at Belle joining me by my side and linking arms with me. Belle just looked around at everyone, with everyone just averting their gaze and waiting for something big to happen. All she did was huff, grabbing Harrys hand and storming out of the apartment with him. 

“Jesus Y/N what did you do to make him choose her, she’s like an angry controlling goblin” Ethan huffed as soon as we all heard the door close. “Hey, I got cut off a long time ago, ask him not me” I giggled before thanking Talia and leaving the apartment to go home. 

I was lounging around my apartment, Ethans words spiralling around my head. I decided tonight was for me. I popped on my favourite movie and rummaged through my freezer finding some ben and Jerrys and starting to scoff down the tub. This sofa must be super man or something because I had soon fallen asleep, I was only awoken by loud continuous knocking at my door. I regained my focus and gaged my surrounding before wrapping a blanket around myself and making my way to the door. As soon as I opened it I was pulled into a bone crushing hug. “I’m so fucking sorry, its you its always been you, I don’t know what I was thinking, I just needed someone to fill the void and she was ok for a week but I need you. You are all I need, all I want, please forgive me I love you” as much as I just wanted to melt into his arms I pulled my self back so that we were an arm lengths apart. “You best come in” I sighed. I finished the teas and made my way over to Harry, passing him his favourite mug of mine. I crossed my legs as we sat at opposite ends of the sofa in silence. 

“What about Belle?” I broke the silence, harry whipped his head up to look at me. “Look I’m so sorry she was a mistake and I should never have even given her shot. She’s so nasty and I could never forgive myself. This past month without you has felt like my heart was ripped in two. I’ve been so miserable and then when I saw you today I felt like I had been given a new chance at life. I get it if you hate me but I need you so bad and I cant live without you.” Harry opened his heart to me for the second time that evening. “You’re such a dummy Harry” I said with a sigh placing my mug on the coffee table. Harry looked at me as if he was broken by the words I just said. I just shook my head at him before leaning over and planting a soft kiss on his lips. The moment seemed to last forever. It was like in the movies when time slowed down and fireworks erupted around the couple who after all their trials and tribulations finally found each other. “I can’t help but love you Harry” I whispered only inches from his face as I pulled back for air, a sly grin on my face. Harrys arms snaked around my wait brining me into him for another soft kiss. i leant my head on his chest listening to his heart, thumping like it was going to break out and slap me in the face. “So what now” harry mumbled into my hair. I leant up so my eyes met his. “Well you will ask me on a date to a nice restaurant where we end up getting a little too drunk. Then we walk along the Thames, watching people walk by when at the perfect moment when the city goes silent you ask me to be your girlfriend and then we come back here and spend the night together. But with a little more physical activity than were used to” I grinned at him causing him to chuckle. “So you forgive me?” He said looking at me with pleading eyes. “God yes I forgive you, I could never be mad at you” I smiled at him. How could I? I did truly love him and it was as simple as that. 

After a few months, and the date Harry had promised, we told our friends and announced to our followers that we had finally decided to get together. apparently it was quite obvious as the boys had started taking bets as to when we would tell them about our new relationship. The fans seemed to love it as well, always receiving amazing and supportive comments on all of our posts and videos that we did together. Although we were young I think people saw how care free and happy we made each other. Most importantly how much we loved each other.

[twices-pup]

Hiraeth

title : hiraeth ( minatozaki sana x fem reader )

word count : 1,592 words

genre : angst

warnings : single mention of alcohol

synopsis : hiraeth (n) - a homesickness for a home you can’t return to, or that never was. ( non-idol au )

side note : i didn’t expect myself to post another fic so soon, but the idea for this came to me at like, almost 1 in the morning and i was able to finish it soon after i woke up, so i thought, “hey, why not post this?” things have been a little rough in my personal life lately, so i guess you can say this is sort of a vent fic? so it might be a little messy, and it got longer than i intended it to be, but i hope y’all enjoy my 1 am emo thoughts :)

You hated this city.

You hated that every time you left your house, you're bound to see something that would remind you of her. You hated that the people around you still asked you about her. You hated that she was only a five minute-drive away from you, yet you weren't able to go see her, no matter how much your heart ached for you to.

You hated this city, but this city was where you were born and grew up in, where your family and friends were, where you had met her. This city—with its roads full of traffic, its bustling streets, and its busy people—was all that you ever knew, so you couldn't just up and leave. Even if every street and corner held painful memories of her.

You used to think that this city was your home, but that was until you had met her, during your freshman year of high school. She was charming in her own way, and had a smile so dazzling you nearly mistook it for a ray of sunshine. When she turned to you, and your eyes met for the first time, you knew right then that your life was never going to be the same again. All because of her.

You had remembered reading somewhere that home wasn't necessarily a place; it could also be a person, a pair of arms that you knew you belonged in.

The closer you got with her, the more it felt like you and her were like two puzzle pieces meant to fit together perfectly. Anything and everything she said or did, even something as trivial as putting a hand on your shoulder, was able to fill you with a sense of warmth and comfort. Soon she became all that you thought about, all that you sought for when you felt lost.

Soon she became your home.

Or at least, that was what you thought.

It wasn't long before you two were practically attached by the hip, and everyone who knew either one of you would know that. Where one of you were, the other wouldn't be far behind, and the fact that she lived just a neighborhood away from you helped. It was really easy for the two of you see to each other; at first you thought of it as a convenience, but time threatened to prove you otherwise.

You didn't know what came over you when you had let the words slip past your lips. You weren't drunk, you swore you never had anything to drink prior to the incident that night. So perhaps it was the heat of the moment, just the two of you sitting on top of a hill overlooking the city, and you ended up getting intoxicated by her instead of alcohol. The light pollution was so bad, there was barely a single star visible in the night sky. The view of the city after dark, however, was almost enough to make up for the lack of starlight. It was beautiful.

She was beautiful.

Hair messy, eyes soft, lips slightly chapped, your jacket draped over her shoulders. No matter how she looked, no matter what she wore, she was never anything less than beautiful in your eyes. Added with the romantic atmosphere, had you lacked self control you would've kissed her then and there.

Thankfully though, you were still able to control your actions. But as your heart raced while you stared at her, it was a lot less easier to control your words.

"I love you."

She diverted her attention from the view to look at you, eyes wide with surprise. A silence enveloped you two once more, one that felt heavier and far less comfortable than the silence before you had uttered those three words. You watched her shift awkwardly, and suddenly you became much more aware of the cold night air biting at the bare skin of your arms and neck. Where had the warmth and comfort gone?

"I love you too, y/n," Sana said carefully. You perked up at her response, feeling a wave of relief and even joy wash over you, but it was short-lived as she continued speaking before you had the chance to interrupt her. "You're my best friend, after all."

You felt your heart sink. Had she really not understood what you meant? Or was she pretending to?

"N-No, Sana," you began, frowning. "That...That's not what I meant. Not just in that way."

To this day, you regretted ever correcting her.

Another silence ensued, this one more agonizing than the last. Your heart was racing, but not in a good way, not in the way she normally made your heart palpitate. Your eyes trained on her every movement, as she avoided your eyes and brought up a hand to rub the back of her neck.

"We...We should head back."

You didn't know what else to say or do, other than agree and walk her back to her house. The walk was, as expected, terribly awkward, neither of you saying anything throughout, and you realized that that was the first time there was any awkwardness between the two of you. You hated the feeling.

Once you reached the front of her house, she turned to you, took your jacket off, and put it on you instead. However, she still refused to meet your eyes that were practically boring holes into her. As she adjusted your jacket, she spoke, ever so softly, "You're my best friend, y/n, you really are. And...And that's all you are to me. Nothing less, nothing more."

Her words were like an arrow through your heart. Not Cupid's arrow, the one that made you feel all lovestruck and giddy, but an actual piercing arrow aimed to kill you. You stared at her blankly, searching her expression for any kind of solace.

She did offer you one, a soft smile, meant to be reassuring and comforting, but you felt neither. "I'm sorry," she continued. "You're an amazing girl y/n, I know you'll be able to find someone else. So I hope this won't change anything between us." She pulled you into a hug, and you wanted to return it had your arms not felt glued to your side, before she pulled away and walked up to her front door. Before she disappeared behind it, she shot you another smile.

Her smile was definitely not telling you that things weren't going to change.

You didn't cry then. You didn't cry on your walk back to your own place. But the second your bedroom door shut behind you, and you were met with your dark, cold bedroom, the world came collapsing down on you. You sank to your floor, and you finally let your tears out.

You didn't see her for the next couple of weeks. You avoided her at school, and refused to hang out with her after school hours. You told yourself that it was what was best for you, some time alone to grieve. But weeks turned into months, yet neither of you dared to talk to one another.

Once you did decide to make the first move, she ignored you as if you weren't right there in front of her, as if you were invisible, as if you didn't exist. She simply brushed past you while talking to a couple of other girls, and she looked...happy. After what had happened between the two of you, she was able to be happy. You could do nothing but watch as she walked further and further away from you.

When you reached your house that day, you received a text on your phone.

"Let's not waste our time fixing something that's already broken"

You felt your heart break for the millionth time since the night of your confession. She had given up on you, on your once seemingly unbreakable friendship. You couldn't blame her, though; she didn't feel the same way you did and there was nothing she could do to force herself to love you back, but even with this knowledge you ghosted her for months, as if she had conducted the biggest sin the world had ever seen. If you were in her shoes, you knew that you'd be exhausted too.

She had given up on you, and you put the blame entirely on yourself.

As you flopped down onto your bed and let your tears flow, you recalled coming across a list of beautiful words from multiple different languages once, beautiful words with even more beautiful meanings. One of them was hiraeth.

Hiraeth.

You finally understood what it meant, how it felt.

She was your home, a home you could never return to, a home that never was.

+ + +

As you drove past her neighborhood on your way to get groceries, you looked out your car window, and saw her. Your houses weren't that far, and the city wasn't that big, so it wasn't your first time coming across her by chance over the years.

But this time she walked down the street, a wide smile plastered on her face and her hand in that of another woman. The other woman was saying something, and it made her laugh. That was the happiest you had ever seen her look.

You took in a deep breath as you turned your head back to keep your eyes on the road ahead, your grip on the steering wheel tightening.

You hated this city, but it was your home. The only one you've ever known, and will ever know.

. . .

please do not repost my work, whether on tumblr or on any other site.

[johnsamericano]

“Corruption pt. 5” w.y.h

Pairing: college teacher!Lucas x student!reader.

Genre: fluff, angst, smut.

Summary: Lucas never thought of falling for a student, but from the first day you walked into de classroom you had him wrapped around your finger.

Warnings: none

a/n: This is the last chapter BUT I’m gonna write an epilogue. Hope you like it.

Taglist: @ncteaxhoe @junglewoos

corruption m.list.

“Dude, you need to get out of bed.” Chenle slightly pushed your body. “You’re starting to smell.”

“What’s the point, Chenle?” You whined against your pillow, still a little wet from your mental breakdown an hour ago.

“You still need to go to classes.” He tried pulling your arm, but you didn’t budge.

“I don’t want to see him.”

“You don’t even have classes with him, for god’s sake.” He sighed, desperate to get you out of bed.

“Just leave me alone.” Your phone started buzzing, announcing Lucas’ fifth call of the day. It was barely 9:00 a.m.

“Okay, I’m done with this little attitude of yours.” He grabbed the device and handed it to you. “You’re gonna answer the phone and solve your problems like the goddamn adult you are, or else I might call your parents and tell them you’ve been sleeping with our professor.” You sat straight, eyes wide open.

“You wouldn’t.”

“Try me.”

You groaned and snatched the phone from his hands, pressing the green button with shaky hands.

“Hello?” Your voice came out weaker than expected.

“Y/n? Thank god. Are you alright? You haven’t been answering any of my calls or messages so I was worried something might have happened.” You hummed. “Can we meet?”

“Okay.”

“I can pick you up and then we can go to my apartment-”

“Don’t worry, I’ll ask Chenle to drive me.”

“Alright. See you then.” A soft murmur stopped you from hanging up. “I love you.” You couldn’t bring yourself to reply, instead ending the call.

“You were such a brave girl.” Your friend cooed while wrapping his arms around you.

“Shut up.”

Chenle helped you pick an outfit to ‘show him what he lost’ and drove you all the way to his apartment complex.

“Do you want me to come in with you?” You released your body from the seatbelt.

“It’s okay, lele. Thank you for driving me.” He nodded before you went out.

You took a deep breath, rehearsing the things you wanted to say to Lucas. But as soon as you saw him, your mind went blank. He looked bad, maybe even worse than you.

“Y/n.” He wanted so bad to hug you, to beg you not to leave him. But that would be selfish.

“Lucas.” He let you in, there were two cups of tea right above the coffee table in his living room.

You sat at a safe distance from him.

“I am deeply sorry, y/n. I should’ve told you earlier what was going on, but I was a coward. I knew this would be over the moment you found out.”

“So what is going on Lucas?” Your voice was calm as you picked up the teacup and brought it to your lips. Those soft, sweet lips.

“There are some things you don’t know about me.” He licked his lips nervously. “For instance, my parents come from wealthy families, and I’m their only child, therefore I’m...”

“The heir.” You completed, feeling a knot forming in your stomach.

“Yes.” He feared so much that you’d see him with different eyes. “My parents wanted me to have someone to guide me and support me for when I take over the family company. The woman you saw last Friday was one of their friends’ daughter.”

He waited for a reply that never came. How could you even answer to that?

“Say something, please.” He finally scooted closer to you, taking your hand between his. His heart broke at the sight of your teary eyes. “Anything, I’m begging you.”

“I understand your decision.” He expected anything but that. “They’re your parents after all, you want to make them proud. I just wish you’d told me earlier, it would’ve been easier to end things between us.”

“I’ll leave them.”

“What?”

“Just ask me to stay with you and I’ll abandon everything.” By the look in his eyes, you knew he meant it. “Ask me to stay with you.” It sounded more like a plead.

“No.” It took all of your inner strength to get that single word out.

“Y/n, I-”

“Lucas, don’t ask me to decide on your life when I barely know what to do with my own.” Yes, your words were hurtful, but you weren’t wrong. “I don’t want to be the girl who made you drift away from your family.”

At some point, you both had started crying, knowing that there was no way you could fix your relationship.

“I’m so sorry, y/n.” He apologized for the millionth time. “I never meant to hurt you.”

“I know you didn’t.” You held no grudge against him, after all, you would’ve probably done the same if you were in his situation. “Just promise me one thing. You’ll do what’s best for yourself, not for me or for your parents.” He nodded, eyes watering. “I should probably leave now.”

“Wait.” He held onto your wrist, his lost puppy eyes looking directly into your own. “If it isn’t too much to ask, can I have one last kiss?”

It was indeed to much to ask, but you didn’t care. You wanted to feel the warmth of his lips against yours one last time, so you went for it.

Straddling his lap, you grabbed the back of his head to pull him even closer. It was a kiss filled with passion and love, it was your own way of saying goodbye. It took a while for you to pull away.

“Thank you.” He murmured, hands caressing your hips. “I love you so much, y/n. I promise I’ll be back, okay?”

“I love you too, Lucas.” With that being said, you stood up. Avoiding to look back, you made your way out.

Chenle was still outside when you came down, leaning against his car with his arms wide open for you.

You didn’t hesitate to crash your body against his, crying your eyes out as he combed your hair with his fingers.

“I’m here for you. Always.”

(...)

3 years later...

“Where are you?”

“I’m picking up my luggage, see you at the parking lot?”

“Okay.”

A few minutes later, the tall, dark haired man walked out of the airport. A sports bag hanging from his left shoulder while the opposite hand dragged the suitcase.

“Kun!”

“Hey, man.” They greeted each other with a big hug. “I missed you.”

“Sorry, I wanted to visit earlier but work has been a bitch.” Specially when he didn’t even like what he was doing.

“Same here, it seems like the students get more unbearable with every semester.” He helped Lucas load his belongings into the truck. “So how’s Mrs. Wong been? Are you getting along well?”

“Shut up.” He rolled his eyes while getting inside the car. “Last week, my mom asked us about our sex life. She was like ‘I expect to have grandkids by the end of next year’, the last time we kissed was in our wedding.”

“So you’re gonna be a dad?” He mocked, starting the engine.

“Not from her kids at least.” Kun knew exactly what that meant.

“Lucas, you should really get over her. You’re a married man.”

“Not for much longer.”

“What do you mean?”

“We’ve been seeing a lawyer, none of us is happy with our relationship and we’ve already wasted three years of our life in it. It’s time to end it.”

“And what do your parents think about this?”

“They don’t have a say in this matter. I’m and adult and it’s my future we’re talking about.”

“And why couldn’t you come to this conclusion three years ago? You would’ve saved me all the suffering from listening to you ranting about how much you missed y/n.” Lucas hit his arm playfully, a big smile on his face as the thought of you crossed his mind.

He unlocked his phone, your picture was still his wallpaper.

“Has she graduated yet?”

“She’s actually doing her master’s degree. She’s an exceptional student, a lot of important labs already have their eyes on her.”

“Of course they do, they’d be stupid if they didn’t.” His finger traced your figure, smiling proudly at the image.

“Oh look at you, you haven’t stopped loving her one bit.”

“Stop it.”

“Oh, by the way, we need to stop by the campus. I have to pick up exams to check them at home.” Lucas’ eyes lit up at the possibility of meeting you.

“Do you think she’ll be there?”

“Probably, she’s usually devouring a book at the library or at the lab. Sometimes she stops by at my office for tutoring or my opinion on something.”

“You better not have tried something with her.”

“Actually...”

“What?”

“Just kidding, she’s my student, nothing more.”

“She better be.”

The campus was thankfully near the airport. Lucas almost fell as he exited the vehicle, eager to see you once again after all those years.

“Careful, give me a call when you’re done looking for her.”

“Sure.” He replied, already running away from the car towards the library.

He met a lot of his old students on the way, briefly greeting them before resuming his search. You weren’t there, so he decided to try at the labs.

You weren’t there either, but your ID and belongings were. You looked different in your picture, you looked so mature now, but your innocent aura was still intact.

“Are you looking for y/n?” One of the students asked as soon as he saw Lucas eyeing her ID. “She just left.”

“Oh, thank you.” He replied, still not taking his eyes off your mesmerizing face.

His phone vibrated.

‘She’s in my office.’ His heart sped up and his legs automatically started moving.

On his way to Kun’s office he tried to think of ways to greet you. Would a simple ‘hello’ be okay? Or would it be appropriate to tell you how much he missed you?

His mind was so busy he didn’t realized he was already in front of the office. He took a deep breath before opening the door. Your back was facing him while you passionately explained Kun the results of your experiment, not even realizing who just made an appearance.

“Y/n.” Lucas called from the door frame, causing you to interrupt your explanation.

“Yes?” You finally turned around. “Lucas?”

Your hair was tied up in a messy hair bun, a pair of safety glasses covering your eyes and a stained lab coat around your body. You looked like a mad scientist, a cute mad scientist.

“Hi.” Was the only thing he could pronounce. ‘How pathetic’ he thought.

“Long time no see.” You smiled so warmly, as if he hadn’t abandoned you to marry another woman. “Have you been well?”

“Y-yes, I mean, as well as I can be.” Your eyes wandered to his hand, taking notice of the golden ring around his finger.

“I’m glad.” You dedicated him another smile before turning back to face your professor. “I’ll send you the draft of my report as soon as I finish it. Excuse me.” You grabbed your laptop from the desk and went out, murmuring a small ‘bye’ to Lucas on your way out. The scent of your perfume striking him with a wave of nostalgia.

“Well, I don’t know what I was expecting but this was definitely not it.”

“I don’t know why I thought we would both burst into tears and say how much we missed each other.” He awkwardly scratched the back of his neck.

“She’s probably going back to the lab, in case you want to talk to her again.” He nodded. “I’ll wait for you so we can head to my house.”

“Alright, I’ll try to be quick.” He went out again, this time at a slower pace.

He went back to the labs, your voice receiving him as soon as he crossed the entrance. Most of the students had already left, it was already getting dark.

“Zhong Chenle, get out of here, you’re distracting me.”

“But, y/n, I’m hungry and I don’t want to go alone to the cafeteria.”

“Not my problem.” You were focused on writing your report, the safety glasses still on your face.

“Uhm, are you busy?” Lucas knocked on the door, catching yours and Chenle’s attention.

“You’re back.” His eyes were wide open. “You know what? I’ll go get our food, see you.”

“Coward.” You muttered. “Come in, Lucas.” Even though there was no hint of anger in your voice, the fact that you were calling him Lucas and not Xuxi meant something bad.

“What are you working on, huh?” He says on the stool beside yours, taking a look at your screen.

“Just trying to find a cure for AIDS, nothing special.” You typed a few more words before saving the file. “What did you want to talk about Mr. Wong?”

“I think you know what.”

“I think so.” You removed the glasses, red marks over the area where they used to be.

“Cute.” He though out loud, causing you to touch your face, the color of your cheeks becoming pinker with every second. It was amazing how much of an effect his words still had on you.

“S-sorry, I wore these for more than five hours.”

“Don’t worry, I know what it’s like.” He tapped his fingers against the table. “Three years huh?”

“Yeah, seems like it was yesterday when we...” You chose not to finish the sentence, knowing that it would probably make you cry.

“I missed you.” His hand reached out for yours, the golden band around his finger burning your skin. “There hasn’t been a single day where I haven’t thought about you. You managed to take over my mind in a way that no one else could ever do.”

“We can’t do this.” With your free hand, you gently removed his hand from yours. “You’re married.”

“I’m getting divorced soon.” Your heart thumped so loudly against your chest that you were afraid he’d hear it. “We just need to fix some things and this whole thing will be over.”

You pulled out your notebook from your bag, tearing a piece of paper to write in it. You handed it to him with a genuine smile.

“Here’s my new number. Give me a call when you finish fixing those things, I’ve already waited for three years, so what’s a few more months?”

[evermoreweasley]

‘tis the damn season (george weasley x reader)

(all images are from Pinterest)

summary: you are a struggling actress living out in Los Angeles, California. every time you come back home to your muggle father and witch mother, you bump into George Weasley and the feelings reappear. this holiday season proves no different.

warnings: general angst, mentions of sex but no actual smut, jealousy, mentions of food, kissing, a fluffy happy ending!!

a/n: this is lightly based off of ‘tis the damn season by taylor swift! I know it’s not the holiday season anymore but I just couldn’t help myself from posting this.

taglist: @theweasleysredhair​ @witchyweasley​ please message me if you’d like to be added :)

“Thank you, uh,” The casting director paused, looking down at his clipboard for a moment. “Y/N Y/L/N. We’ll be in touch.” He said in a monotone with a weak smile. 

You immediately knew you wouldn’t be getting a call back for the role. This wasn’t your first unsuccessful audition and it certainly wasn’t going to be your last. Two years in Los Angeles and all you had managed to book was one single commercial for a local department store.

“Thank you.” You said through a forced smile as you closed the script in your hands. 

You walked out to your car on a crowded, busy street and saw a parking ticket waiting on your dashboard. You cursed quietly under your breath as to not draw attention to yourself. You picked it up, closely examining the fine before throwing it onto your passenger seat.

In less than one hour you were going to be getting on a plane to fly home for the holidays. Your muggle father insisted on you flying, (he was never a fan of you apparating), and you loved to fly so you didn’t fight it. And while you were excited to go home for a few days, you were also nervous and you think it had something to do with a certain red head.

Per your mother’s request, you went to Hogwarts, just like she did. Your father, a muggle pediatrician, wanted you to be apart of both the muggle and wizard world.

Which is why after your graduation from Hogwarts when you decided to move to Los Angeles to become an actress, your father supported you. Your father saw the way your eyes lit up when you watched The Sound of Music for the millionth time. Your mother, however, wasn’t as supportive as your father. She always asked you to work in the Ministry of Magic, like she did. You always said no.

One of the only positives that came from graduating from Hogwarts was that you met your best friends there. And that you met George Weasley. Two years ago, after graduation, you decided to see each other every holiday when you would come home. However, last holiday, it turned into something more when he kissed you. But you couldn’t make it anything serious because you had to go back to Los Angeles and didn’t see long distance working.

On the plane, you closed your eyes and tried your best to not think about it and to just sleep.

Getting off of your flight, you immediately noticed the change in weather. Los Angeles was warm, sunny, and bright and home was cold, cloudy, and gray.

You looked through the terminal for your parents but didn’t spot either of them. You turned around once more and a tall, red haired boy wearing a cheeky grin and carrying a small sign that read “Y/N Y/L/N” caught your eye. 

You grinned as you walked over to him, embracing him in a long hug. “George,” you sighed into his chest, inhaling his comforting and familiar scent of sage and mint. “You picked me up.” Your heart fluttered around in your chest and you swallowed hard in an attempt to try your best to ignore it.

“Course I did, babe. Let me tell you though,” He sighed as he lead you outside. “Your muggle father was not easy convincing, he thought I was gonna ride in on my broomstick to get you.”

You lightly rolled your eyes.

“I told him no of course,” He lightly poked you in the arm. “I just might’ve left out that I was going to be picking you up in my flying car.” He chuckled as he opened the trunk for you.

You giggled happily as you threw your bags inside before shutting it. 

“Good to see the Anglia again,” you sighed as you hopped in next to George. You looked up to see him making an over exaggerated pouty face at you. “You too, George,” you giggled. “It’s good to see you too.”

He smiled.

“Is anyone watching, babe? Let’s get out of this muggle airport.”

You checked around the car quickly. “No, we’re good.”

George pressed the tiny silver button on the dashboard and the Anglia disappeared.

You watched the shapes of the clouds float on by before focusing your attention back on the car, you tried your best to narrow your eyes away from the backseat. A flood of memories shot through you, you thought about George kissing your neck as your body lay underneath him in the backseat as the windows quickly fogged up. 

Suddenly, something caught your attention out of the corner of your eye, a sweater you didn’t recognize was on the floor in front of you.

“This is lovely,” you called out as you picked it up. “I wonder if Ginny will let me borrow it.”

George’s face fell for a moment as he looked over at you, his chocolate brown eyes containing nothing but concern. “Uh, actually,” he muttered out. “That’s Angelina’s, I forgot to give it back to her.”

“Oh,” you said back, your voice barely above a whisper. Your heart sinking down into your stomach, you suddenly felt a little ill.

“Y/n, Angelina and I are not dating, it’s just a fling. I-” George started awkwardly.

“George,” you chuckled lightly to relieve the tension. “I don’t want or need to know, it’s okay.”

“Okay,” he sighed, smiling lightly at you as he rubbed his neck, his hair sticking up in the back. “How is LA going?”

“It’s fine!” you forced a fake smile before looking down at your hands in your lap.

You already knew George could see right through it and knew that you were lying to him.

“Yeah?” He looked over at you with a quizzical grin. “Well, would you want to go back to my apartment? We could order a pizza.”

“Would you mind dropping me off at my parents house first? I can probably sneak out to see you later tonight.”

“Of course, babe.”

***

Later that night, you had snuck over to George’s apartment and quite quickly one thing lead to another. You were now in his bed, legs and arms lightly tangled around each other. You were having a hard time sleeping due to the time change so you looked up at him, George was quietly snoring and looked like an absolute angel. 

You sighed happily, settling into the comfort of his sheets and blankets. You were sure it was the warmest bed you had ever known.

“I love you, George,” you whispered. 

You weren’t sure if you were just seeing things or not but you could’ve sworn he smiled.

***

The next day, you found yourself thinking about George nonstop. His adorable laugh, his charming smile. You thought about his loving chocolate brown eyes, his red hair that you loved dragging your fingers through, and his long, slender, delicate hands. His hands that seemed to fit perfectly inside of yours. 

You knew what you had to do.

“Scrabble?” Your father called out after dinner.

“I can’t, dad,” you said as you threw on your jacket. “I have to go see a friend about something, can I borrow your car?”

As you pulled up to George’s apartment, you saw George and Angelina standing outside, in front of the door. 

You turned off your engine and your headlights as you watched them, curious as to what was happening.

George was handing Angelina the sweater back, the one you had seen the day before. Angelina took it, and then quickly stood up on her tip toes to kiss George. Your mouth immediately fell open and in shock, you felt as if all of the air had been knocked completely out of you.

You looked down at your lap as silent tears fell down your cheeks.

You suddenly heard a tap on your passenger side window. Looking up, you saw George standing there. You quickly wiped your tears on your jacket sleeve and rolled down the window.

“Y/n?” He started, studying your face. “Did you,” He started to ask, looking rather upset, as if he could start crying too.

“It’s okay, George,” you interrupted. “Really, it’s okay. After all, I’m gonna go back to LA.”

“Y/n, please just listen to me.”

“George, I’ve really got to go.” 

“Y/n,” He breathed out, as tears now fell down his cheeks. 

You rolled up your window and drove away. Crying the whole way home. 

You couldn’t believe it. You had waited too long and now he was with Angelina, not you. You were going to go back to LA in three days and forget any of this had ever happened. Forget the way George kissed you. Forget the way George held you.

***

You sighed as you put your sweater on. You thought about going back to LA, where you didn’t have any real, genuine friendships. Where you’d leave George, the only one who can tell which smiles you’re faking. 

Your love of acting was quickly diminishing and you just wanted to have a normal day to day job.

You had your bags all packed and were doing one last check around your bedroom when the doorbell rang. “Coming,” you called, running down the stairs. Your friend told you they would give you a ride to the airport for your flight, and you were sure that was them.

You were wrong, however, when you swung the door open and were faced with George Weasley. 

“George,” you sighed as you leaned against the doorway. “I, I- wasn’t expecting to see you.”

“Y/n, please let me explain the other night.” He offered a small smile.

You nodded before shyly looking down at your feet.

“The other night, what you saw, is not what you think.” He inched closer to you, his hands deep in his pockets as he shifted awkwardly, you met his gaze. “I called Angelina over and I broke things off with her.”

“But you kissed her.”

“She kissed me, y/n. And then I told her our fling had to end.”

Your heart once again fluttered in your chest.

“Y/n, I want to be with you. I’ve always just wanted to be with you,” He looked deep into your eyes. “But, you said you didn’t want anything serious because of the long distance,” George took a deep breath before continuing. “Anyway, after the other night, I knew I couldn’t let you go back to LA without you at least knowing how I feel.”

“George, I-”

“Oh,” He smiled. “And I love you too, y/n.”

Your cheeks felt hot, you were certain you were blushing. You weren’t sure if you had ever blushed harder in your entire life. “You- you heard me?”

George nodded. “I did.”

And without another moment passing, George leaned down and kissed you. You ran your hands up his arms and rested them on his shoulders. George’s hands found your waist and pulled you in close to him. The room was silent but you could’ve sworn you heard your heart beating in your ears, loud and eager. His tongue asked for entrance into your swollen lips and without hesitation you allowed him. 

George released his lips from yours. He looked you up and down, a smirk growing on his lips. 

“I- I don’t know what to say,” You giggled as your fingers flew up to feel your lips, buzzing with electricity and sensitivity. 

“You don’t have to say anything,” George chuckled as he pulled you back in again. “Just kiss me.”

Without hesitation, you pulled his lips down to meet yours once more. You swore you could feel George’s lips slowly turn into a smile as the kiss grew in intensity. Your heart swelled out of your chest.

Almost one year had passed since George Weasley kissed you in the doorway of your parents house and you couldn’t be happier. You moved out of LA and into an apartment down the street from George and Fred’s apartment. You also started working at Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes.

With the holidays quickly approaching you were working late into the night. You were on a ladder bringing the last box of Extendable Ears down from a shelf when a sudden burst of red confetti shot up at you from down below.

“George,” you giggled, slightly annoyed as the confetti pooled on your shoulders. You rolled your eyes. “At least let me get down from being up high before you do that to me.”

Your back was still to him as you climbed down the ladder.

“Alright,” you giggled. “What is it?” You asked before turning to him. Your mouth falling open as your sights fell on George on one knee in front of you.

“Y/n, all I want is to make you smile and laugh every single day, to make you proud, to make you mine forever. Will you please marry me?”

Your hand flew up to cover your open mouth as you looked behind him and saw the entire Weasley family huddled together in the corner of the shop, trying to stay as hidden as possible.

Fred with a huge smirk on his face, “Atta boy, Georgie!” He called out as Ginny playfully smacked him on the shoulder. And Molly was beaming with happy tears in her eyes.

“Yes, George. Yes!” You exclaimed as you leapt into his arms.

George’s face lit up into a beaming smile and he pulled you in for a kiss, and you thanked your hometown that lead you into his arms.

[prettytoxicrevolver]

Ethan | Unus Annus

Requested? kinda? 

Warnings? None? 

Summary: Ethan makes a grand gesture, confusing you further 

Word Count: 1,311

One  |   Two   |   Three 

“Take your time,” he whispers and you nod against him. 

The minute you step into your car you let out a sigh. You rest your head onto your steering wheel and feel the overwhelming sense that you want to cry. 

You were certain you loved Mark. You loved him with every fiber of your being and today only proved that more. You loved his overwhelmingly caring personality, his charming smile, his understanding self. Everything. 

But Ethan. Ethan was your best friend. He was there through thick and thin. He’s by your side in a second and you loved him. You loved him with every cell in your being and you didn’t know what to do now. 

As you pull out of Mark’s driveway, you call Jason and wait as the phone rings. Finally, when he picks up you start talking immediately. 

“He told me he loved me. He gave me roses and candles and the best kiss of my life and told me he loved me and now I’m even more confused,” you let out all at once. 

“Who did?” Jason asks, confused. 

“Mark.” 

“He did all of that?” 

“Yes and he also knows I love Ethan and told me to take my time figuring out who to pick.” 

“Dear lord,” he responds, and despite everything you laugh. 

“What am I going to do?” 

“Figure it out,” Jason says and you laugh again despite yourself. 

When you get home, you end up feeling wired for the rest of the day like you had slammed a Redbull and it was buzzing in you from head to toe. You couldn’t stop thinking about Mark’s display. You wished an answer would just fall out of nowhere. 

As you’re practically pacing back and forth across your apartment, your phone rings in the living room. You head towards it, picking up without thinking about it. 

“Hello?” 

“Hey!” you recognize Ethan’s voice and your heart skips. “Are you doing anything right now?” 

“Uh,” you say, running a hand through your hair and letting out a quick breath. “No, nothing.” 

“Come outside.” 

“I’m sorry?” you ask and he repeats the sentence. 

Still holding your phone to your ear, you step outside and walk down your apartment stairs. When you get through the double set of doors, there Ethan sits. 

He’s leaning against a red convertible, one you’ve never seen before, and dressed in a clean button-down and dress pants. Your hand slowly falls to your side as you walk up to him, a wide smile spread across his lips. 

“What the-“ you begin and he chuckles lightly. 

“I rented it. Come on, I wanna show you something.” 

At this point you’re so speechless you can’t begin to comprehend what’s going on or the fact that for a second time that day, you’re being swept away by the boy you like. 

Ethan walks to the passenger side door, pulling it open before gesturing towards you. You make your way back over to him and get in the car. He walks back over to the driver’s side, getting in and heading out. 

As Ethan drives, you can’t help but look over at him and admire the boy you’ve come to know and pretty much fall in love with. He’s relaxed next to you and you notice that’s something that he is around you all the time, relaxed. Calm and seemingly happy in your presence. 

"What are you thinking about?" Ethan asks, grabbing your hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it. 

"Lots. You, mostly," you say smiling widely out of habit.

"All good things?" 

"Always," you say leaning over to press a kiss to his cheek. 

You continue driving for a while and it occurs to you that you should ask Ethan where you're going. However, the wind in your hair, the music floating through the air, and Ethan's soft touch has you mesmerized. 

After driving for a bit, you finally head up to a secluded area looking over the ocean. Ethan pulls to the side of the road and the two of you get out of the car and by this point, you’re completely confused. 

“Hey Ethan?” you ask. 

“Yeah?” 

“What are we doing?” 

“Come on,” he says smiling wide. 

He extends a hand to you which you take and he starts to lead you two farther up the mountain. As you walk you gaze across the mountain and the beautiful sunset backdropping the ocean. You can't believe someone would have ever thought to bring you here. Just as you're about to ask Ethan for the millionth time what you're doing you see it. 

At a clearing ahead, there sits a picnic blanket with food and drinks sat atop it. As you come upon it you see it shows a perfect view of the ocean and the sunset. You stop in your tracks, a hand coming up to cup your mouth in disbelief and Ethan smiles adoringly at you. His hand moves from yours to your back, sliding up and down as you look up at him. 

“You did this?” 

“There’s more,” he says and your head tilts and he gestures for you to sit down at the picnic. 

The two of you sit and together you have dinner. The sun is setting slowly over the ocean, a shimmering orange glow floating down below the horizon. You’re entranced by the whole experience not believing that this could be happening to you. 

“So,” you begin and Ethan puts his full attention on you. 

“Why the big gesture? What’s going on?” As you talk, Ethan absentmindedly runs his fingers along your thigh, tracing light patterns over your skin. 

“I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while,” he begins and your heart stops. 

“I love you. I’m not good with my words but I’ve loved you ever since you knocked on my door at 2 am and asked to go get cookies. I’ve been in love with you on every night drive and late night looking at the stars.” 

As Ethan talks, tears start to fall at the grand gesture of it all. Years ago you would never believe someone could love you this much. And now, here was Ethan, an amazing man proclaiming he is. 

“That’s being not good with your words?” you ask through tears that Ethan wipes away gently, smiling lovingly down at you. 

“Well I’m no Shakespeare but I am in love with you. I just wish I said it sooner.” 

You look up at him and smile through the happy tears still slipping down your cheeks. The two of you sit side by side, legs entangled as Ethan looks down at you. His deep brown eyes search yours and his hand rests comfortably on your cheek. 

He takes the leap, slowly closing the gap between the two of you until your lips meet in pure bliss. You sink straight into the feeling, literally falling back onto the blanket as Ethan moves so he’s slotted perfectly between your legs. 

You pull away, smiling too wide and Ethan reflects the expression. He props himself up on his elbow to look down at you and you can tell you’re both elated. 

“I really should have done that sooner.” 

“Ethan?” you question unable to contain your thoughts to your best friend any longer. 

“Yeah?” 

“Mark loves me.” 

“I know doll,” he says pushing a strand of hair from your face and smiling fondly down at you. 

“I don’t know what to do,” you admit unfairly. You hated saying this to him, knowing he’d end up asking you to choose him but you couldn’t keep it in anymore. 

“Well, I’m biased because I love you. But do what’s right love.” 

“But I owe you both an answer. I shouldn’t just keep the two of you waiting around.” 

“You’re our best friend. We understand and we love you,” he reassures.