#but a) we put too much value in physical beings being the right kind of pretty and really this only perpetuates that

[hoeterra]

Not to sound like whatever the gay version of an incel is but I wish we talked about pretty privilege more

[pinksobg]

Why did this happen?

breathe and close your eyes to concentrate if you prefer. for reflection. hope you enjoy and it is insightful. ❤️

pile number 1 - Oh, yes, pile number 1. you went through a time of difficulty, scarcity, a place where you were not being treated fairly, you may have probably left an unbalanced place, where your voice was not heard and you felt rushed and devalued. That is really tough pile number 1, im really sorry to hear that. This happened because you deserved better. You deserved to leave this cramped space without scales, to a better place. Clearly a new place where you feel valued, heard and back in your personal power. you deserve the best. This situation may have been in a work environment, when rejecting a project or job proposal. But it can also be a friendship, a long-term relationship, among other varied aspects in your current reality.

cards - 5 of pentacles, queen of wands rx., temperance rx., king of pentacles.

card of advice - 9 of swords. If you are feeling very anxious, it is recommended that you visit a psychologist, therapist and return movement in your life, starting with something that you consider simple or easier, it could be cleaning something from your space and or physical exercise if it is possible. thank you so much. take care. you matter.

------------------------------

pile 2 - Oh, pile 2. It's an intense energy, I tried to prepare myself as much as possible to transmit this message. It is very likely that you have gone through a situation where you cannot be the charitable, kind and loving person that you are. You had to fight not to get hurt on this situation, whether by setting limits or trying to trust yourself again. In other words, if you didn't raise your guard you would have continued in a very exhausting cycle. It may have been an argument, a fight, a cut in something that you may have asked yourself 'but I don't act like this normally, what happened to me'. These thoughts may have occurred because you are a really good person and may not be used to putting yourself first. you were spiritually guided. Strongly, I'm listening. You may have had digestive system problems probably due to stress.

But hey, here we go again. You were guided to the best path, to choose what is good for you and also choose what is choosing you. You deserve to be the charitable person you are, to do that project that few believe in, to be your authentic truth. There is also a request to improve your spiritual protection, connect with your spirituality - more messages will arrive for you, good things. Take good care of yourself, don't be too alert, you are being taken care of, but also continue your journey of protecting yourself from what is bad for you, be it habits, people, spaces, etc. thank you very much. additional message - see you soon.

cards - 3 of pentacles, queen of cups rx, 9 of swords rx, 7 of wands rx, the lovers, the star.

---------------------------

pile 3 - hii pile number 3! did you thought about something good that happened, right? This could be someone who defended you or someone who defended you without you even realizing it, 'behind the curtains' kind of thing. Or maybe you might be thinking about a crush or something that gives you happiness and a feeling of completeness, like working on something to improve your self-esteem.

In other words, you may have thought of a certain good thing that happened to you. If this is your case, my pile number 3, is because you deserve it - you radiate completeness, friendship, truth to people, you don't hide your true face. with the card of the lovers, the star, the world in a single reading - it could also have been a gift from the universe, a Divine gift.

-- With the clarification with the Page of Wands card, this may have pushed you to continue, think about your future, create new ideas, open new horizons and prepare you for what comes next on your journey. If something good happened to you after a difficult time, it could also have been a form of... kind of 'justice', from the universe towards you, my pile number 3. a plan, there is.

Four of wands also, how beautiful! Really, if you thought of something good, it really is a celebration that occurred around you. Congratulations, my pile number 3!! You overcame something, achieved something important, even if you may not even realize what it is - but in some cases, yes, it is possible to realize what you did. right. This deserves a celebration, congratulations my pile number 3! Take good care of yourself, I hope this message resonated and was useful to you. thank youu

-------- ❤️

[epickiya722]

What's getting me about folks also comparing the scene with Megumi and Yuji versus the scene with Yuji and Todo back in Shibuya is that some are doing it just to bash Megumi's character.

"He needs to suck it up and move on."

Similar as the circumstances may be, there are some differences.

Yes, it's going to take Megumi to listen to Yuji calling out to him. Yes, it's going to take Megumi's choice to want to be saved.

This is a "save those who want to be saved", a "help me help you" situation.

But let's consider a few things as to why this time around it is going to be a lot more difficult this time around.

Back in Shibuya when confronted by Todo, Yuji was in control of his body. Todo had an easier time reaching out to him because Yuji was right there in the physical world.

Fast forward to now, Yuji actually had to find a way to even get to where Megumi is. He couldn't just walk up to him. He actually had to reach and find his soul in a void that Sukuna placed him in using a technique.

Not only that, keep in mind that Megumi's soul was forced deeper in a void after Sukuna took that curse bath and killed his sister, the only person Megumi had left as family and really cared for. You could also include Gojo. But by that time, I would say Megumi was already too deep to witness that. Megumi had no means of escape until now. Also, Yuji only got to call out to Megumi once before Sukuna intervened. He didn't have time to comfort Megumi.

Like, damn, can we give Megumi and Yuji a chance?

With Yuji, when Sukuna did what he did in Shibuya, Yuji was able to get back control. Remember Yuji was literally made to be Sukuna's vessel. Yuji has a better hold on his control on Sukuna when he possessed his body than Megumi does. Sukuna had limited time.

Also, and this is going to sound harsh, Sukuna killed people Yuji had no attachment to. That is not to say Yuji doesn't care about the well-being of others. That's part of who he is. Yuji did feel for those people, they were innocent and he couldn't do anything to stop Sukuna. But at the same time, he was able to spend less time mourning those people because there was no attachment. When Todo had to confront Yuji, it was after Nobara and Nanami had been attacked killed by Mahito's hands. It's why Yuji was in the state he was in. Nobara and Nanami were people Yuji did have an attachment to, so it did take someone like Todo to encourage him to move on unlike the first time Yuji pushed himself forward. Also, Akari came in and gave Yuji just a bit of hope about Nobara.

There's also their characters. Yuji is the type that no matter how bad things get for him, he will push on. He has just a tad bit stronger mental state than Megumi does. Yuji comes from a relatively "nice" background. He did lose his parents (...) and had to be raised by his grandfather. But he also did have people around him who liked him, even at times he felt like a loner.

Megumi, on the other hand, lost his parents and had to be raised by his (step)sister, Tsumiki who is not that much older than him and later on got put in a coma. His father's side of the family is a prejudice clan and only valued Megumi because of his technique and was sold to said clan by the father he never knew. Gojo was his benefactor, he looked out for him but it's up for interpretation of how their relationship really was like while growing up. Gojo had took Megumi in when he was just 17-18 years and think about the kind of person Gojo is. Megumi also didn't have friends that we know of.

Yuji became a jujutsu sorcerer to help people and there are still people to save. Same for Megumi, but remember his goal mostly did come from wanting to save Tsumiki who had now been killed by his own technique thanks to Sukuna.

Yuji is like sunshine, Megumi like rain.

Yuji's warm and inviting, Megumi is gloomy and cold.

Yuji's outlook on life is different from Megumi's. He has this unbreakable resolve and just more optimistic. Megumi is more pessimistic.

I also take in account of physical damage to their bodies.

I think I did say this in another post, but anyways, when Sukuna possessed Yuji he was almost invincible. Gojo managed to put some damage to him during their first meeting. After that, how many times had Sukuna actually suffered any injuries? Can't think of a time.

When he possessed Megumi, he was able to be injured and bleeds. Remember his fight with Gojo had left some after effects on him, therefore could have also affected Megumi.

Going back to a previous point, when Todo approaches Yuji, Yuji was able to tell he was real. What if in this case, Megumi is so dull from everything Sukuna had put his mental through and because he is in a void of darkness (contrasting from the lit setting Yuji had been in) Megumi believed Yuji to be just an illusion? He believed it was hard for anyone to come save him?

Especially since, if we count the possibility of Megumi witnessing the fight between Gojo and Sukuna, he may feel like an afterthought?

During that fight, Yuji had question if Gojo even remembered to save Megumi and the others weren't even sure of that. Megumi probably felt the same way.

It reminds me of how way back in the beginning as to why Megumi didn't want Yuji executed in the first place. Yuji barely knew the guy, but he saved him. Even risking his life to fight a curse without cursed energy before swallowing that finger. What if Megumi harbored some sort of guilt from that? Yuji's execution may have been postponed, but he was still set to die. On top of that, because Sukuna's fingers had caused one curses to rise and therefore more people are at risk.

Megumi told Nobara not to tell Yuji anything because Yuji would feel guilty.

"Why bother saving me then?"

No matter what Megumi does, it seems things keep getting worse and worse and worse for him.

What if this time around Megumi no longer has the will to leave because he feels like a burden now and doesn't want anyone else to risk their life for his sake? Especially, to Yuji?

Either way, compared to Yuji in Shibuya, both of them are victims. They're just kids. Kids who felt they should die even though they have tried their hardest to save people and there is so much they could do.

To call Megumi a "bum" because he's depressed just gives me "ick" feelings, it does. I saw a comment that called both Megumi and Yuji "losers" and someone argued they're not "losers" when they're traumatized. And they are! In the spam of just months, they witnessed the worse of what has become of Japan all due to curses and curse users. Can you blame any of them for having moments of self-doubt?

[blushcoloreddreams]

5 reasons why is it important to be feminine:

Everything in this world - from a fork to a neurotransmitter- has a shaped connected to what it should do, and when something doesn’t have a function, it doesn’t have value. Do you agree that humans are worth a lot? It’s because they have a finality. And it’s about the goal of a woman that we are gonna talk about today.

We can observe that what wasn’t created by man, nature, usually has a higher level of perfection. And with that we can move to a very important topic. Who created all that. Do you think everything in our bodies has a function and connects with each other by chance. Do you think randomness could create such a level of order and perfection? It can’t, only something superior to our intelligence and reasoning could manifest something so great.

When we look at ancient pyramids, inc structures, Greek temples we can observe that there was an intelligence behind it . Things come to the world first through and intelligent mind and then are created into reality. So it is when humans want to create something and so it is with the supreme mind that created the world.

So if every structure reveals a goal

We might not want to write with a pen but that’s what it was created for, just as women were created for a specific role. And it’s undeniable that a pen that writes is way more useful and cherished than one that doesn’t

Because everything has a Function and is shaped accordingly. .Do you think we humans could be created with such perfection and order, an inner machinery that is working in very determined functions by chance? As Saint Thomas of Aquinas (as well as Aristotle before him) once said only something with a much higher intelligence and perfection could manifest something with such order and beauty, that is enough to believe in a higher God. And if every structure reveals our goals, our bodies as women do so. So, to understand what is feminine let’s observe what’s out bodies points towards, what’s our finality. Just like a pen, We might not want to write with a pen but that’s what it was created for, we might not want to be feminine in this world but who created us made us to be that. What is different from the female physical structure compared to the masculine? We have curves, something that attracts - that already reveal part of our goal-, when we observe we women have a uterus and men don’t, well there is something the uterus does. We have a sweeter, higher pitched voice, what hormones and neurotransmitters cause that? There is a reason, a why for our sensibility and care. Our shape points towards the function we should develop in the world, we can discover which qualities we should put in each of our actions and choices in the world to be better women. And what does our bodies points towards? That we are receptive! Who receive men inside their bodies? Us! Our genitals are turned inwards cause we are receptive. When we receive the semen inside us us and we welcome it inside our uterus with our egg we turn it into life. And that’s something only women can do. And In this physical but also in the symbolic sense we can turn what we touch into life, happiness, love and kindness

Because you’ll be happier. Being feminine will elevate your level of oxytocin - the affective bond hormone - when we feel loved and appreciated, safe and secure by someone we love this hormone that makes us super happy will rise. Oxytocin in men make them sleepy, one example when it’s release it’s right after ejaculation. What will make a man feel more like a man, ready for combat, like an «alpha male « - although red pill guys made me hate the term - is a higher level of testosterone. Lower levels of testosterone is linked to sadness and depression. While higher levels of testosterone in females - when we work or study too much, have to deal with a lot of pressure, have to deal with deadlines - will only raise our levels of cortisol - the stress hormone. We will feel happier and more feminine with balanced hormones. Men’s levels of testosterone rise when they Workout, when they receive the recognition from a woman “wow love, that’s a great idea”, when they achieve professional success, because men represent the external world while women represent the internal. And we women feel satisfaction when we feel loved, when we received gifts, when we feel safe.

Because an overly masculine world is true chaos. All the wars, the extreme level of capitalism we live in takes the world to be extremely materialistic, aggressive, competitive and brutal. Half of the world is made by male. And if we let the world unregulated , with the other half wanting to be masculine and forgetting characteristics like being nurturing the world will become unbalanced bringing to light the worst of the masculine traits.

Because you want a masculine man in your life. The polarity law is universal. Men and women are like opposite poles. Energetic opposites attract but it’s common interests that make them stay. That’s what brings true connection in a relationship. So if you want a man that has success in the external world - the structure of his body reveals he is the penetrating one, and thus his genital projects outwards and women with a cavity that embraces. you liking it or not that’s how God created it, this is not vulgarity it’s just an observation of reality- you must be in your feminine pole. His body represents what a man should look for in the world: penetrate reality, conquer territory, conquer muscle, look for career accomplishments and generate safety for the other half of the world women. So if we want a man that exercises his function in the world we must be feminine. Being the receptive pole is not easy, specially now that we live in a society and a lot of us have families that encourage us to talk in an aggressive way, be brave, Court men, take risks. The man that penetrates the woman is also the man that penetrates our inner kingdom. The sexual symbol is nothing more than a representation of what happens in a relationship where each one is in their pole. The woman lives in the internal world, living her emotions more intensely, doing a thousand things in her mind. And that’s exactly why we need a certain level of protection, that’s why we can’t let any person enter our intimate world. After this contact, after they enter our inner world it will affect us, affect our feelings and thoughts and we need to have order in our domain. We got to treat our inner world like it’s our home. If we constantly expose ourselves to a lot of different random things that will affect us without discretion that will create chaos. The truth is women want to be penetrated, because when no one frequents our inner world it’s empty, without nothing new it becomes dry, we want people, situations and informations of value to enter in our world so ifs lively and happy, so connection, love and care can exist. A woman like this is happier. And this symbolism replicates when a child grow up and leaves the nest but return to visit the mom, when the man she loves leave for the world and returns home. This exchange is truly satisfactory for a woman, it liberates an oxytocin bomb.

To set a good example for your (future) children. It’s the reference of the parents that form the children’s psiqué. The vision of what your parents were has an imprint on you even if they don’t live up to what they should be. If these references are inverted it becomes harder for you to put yourself in your place, harder but not less necessary. We want to be good references for the next generations, that our kids see the archetypical feminine in us. We want our partners to be masculine so our children can learn protection, safety and the role of a man from them. It’s the children that will give continuity to the world so a good education for them is vital.

[iu-jjang]

[FANCAFE] 230918 From.IU - IU is here!!!!

To my pyeon (those who have been by my side) for a long time,

my dear uaena-ya,

happy 15th birthday🩵

Hello uaena?

September has come again without fail!

(Although not as much as last year) Though the hot weather stretches on, enough to overshadow the term ‘autumn’..

Anyway September is here. Is everyone doing alright amidst this everchanging weather?

Uaenas seem to be bustling with anticipation about the screening of the Golden Hour movie and that puts me in a good mood, when I check in every now and then 😌🩵 (It’s l..legit awesome…)

Without being roasted by the sun! Or pickled by the rain! Or blown away by the wind! Please take care when you go and watch the show!!!!

September is our IUaena festival, so let’s not fall sick and let’s be especially happy 🔥

Anyway, September is here and somehow 15 years have passed..!!

From my 10th to 14th anniversary, the 4 years were like that, but this year really flew by as swiftly as an arrow.

We’ll be having a large scale(?) celebration a week later, but celebrating on the day itself has more meaning, right?! I thought about whether to read out this letter on stage that day, but decided to just post this on the actual day today in commemoration 🩵

Uaenas, my classmates from Gwangjin Middle School whom I have been friends with since I was 15 years old, are Junghoonie and Rangie. (I introduced them on a broadcast previously hehe) Although they are busy with their adult lives now, when I contact them occasionally, I feel like I return to who I was as the middle schooler Jieunie.

They are my friends that I shared my teens, 20s and 30s and we watched each other become adults, so even if it’s gross, it’s a deep relationship that I’m grateful for.

But come to think of it, uaena have been my longest friends for as long as Junghoonie and Rangie. You’ve watched over my teens, 20s and 30s, you always start conversations with me and ask me questions that I’m glad to answer and you love not just my front view, but my side view and even my back view every time.

I came across this in an article, but apparently we hold a piece of information for about 15 years. In the span of 15 years, as society changes and the trends change, people also change their values and when new perspectives appear during that timespan, we often redefine the way we think.

As I read that article, I sensed a newfound weight to the timespan of 15 years.

In this long span of time that it wouldn’t be out of the norm for something to be forgotten, as I unknowingly worried about things, got lost, changed, matured and grew older, thank you for watching over me silently during this period of time.

I’m still that boring person with a bad sense of direction and gets lost once in awhile, whenever I think of uaena, I always feel like I get a flash of strength.

Each of you having some kind of confidence (TL note: in me) and in the long span of time of the birth and death of a piece of information, I’m not sure if you liked me constantly, but that look of confidence protected me for many days. Thank you so much.

I’m still just me as always… but in your eyes, I am strong!!😌🔥

I’ve been busy recently, as if I’m back in my rookie days. Basically, I’m having fun and being happy! keke Physically, I think I’m well-suited for this too. Inevitably, there are times when I get exhausted and during those days, it’s like I’m receiving orders (TL note: like at a restaurant) over and over again, spending each day clearing missions. ‘Because to uaena, I am strong!!’

I’ll save the rest of the things I have to say until this weekend (TL note: To say during the fan concert).

I love you.

(Ah, it’s past midnight. Ah…. I find this kind of things such a pityㅜㅜ)

(TL note: By the time IU posted on fancafe, it was already 12:15am)

Translated by IUteamstarcandy with love

[dangermousie]

I confess that the narrative of TTJ in the sect learning how to be a human properly was always my favorite part of the novel even if it wasn’t a romantic portion of the story. So I am so excited the drama kept it (with bits of the Cang Jiumin dream storyline, they meld seamlessly.) 

(I love that he actually gets a name chosen with care and not one that is expression of hatred and bad luck!)

Look at how shocked he is the master is all “the sword is yours, keep it.” He is so not used to care and kindness.

Honestly, it’s little things that get me, like how he’s so awkward being hugged by the blind lady and you realize he’s still not used to being touched in gentleness and love.

It’s just such a pleasure watching TTJ find acceptance and care in the sect - finally a decent parental figure in his master and then also the sect brothers who just accept and like him, do not view him as a monstrosity (he didn’t have such matter-of-fact acceptance even during his emperor days for obvious reasons.) This is the longest stretch of normalcy he’s ever had and he needed it so badly (and the fact that it comes from sect master and brothers he destroyed in past timeline is extra glorious; it does show that we are our choices, we are not doomed to do the same thing over and over.) The fact that he probably got it because Susu broke his fate/curse and so he is not being pushed by literally the Universe into more and more suffering as a goad to turn him into devil god, is an extra bonus. And the thing that gets me so hard is - TTJ aka Cang Jiumin, thrives. He repays kindness with kindness - you watch him be a good student and kind to the old lady and practice well. 

It makes me think of the scene in an early ep flashback where older nanny tells younger nanny that the reason TTJ has difficulty processing or understanding emotions and people is because of his fucked up existence. And she is proven right - he is clearly always an introvert but living a nice life full of physical and emotional caring (he does not go hungry, he is liked, he is taught, he is valued), he adjusts more and more. He soaks normalcy as a sponge and I think learns as much or more from this stretch as he did from Susu. Susu opened up the gate but it’s this time that really puts the seal on it (yes, I am mixing my metaphor.) He needed to love and be loved by at least one person to give the world a chance, but he now has demonstration that not the whole world is awful. Before he hated the world but refrained from damage because Susu loved it, but now perhaps he can learn to love it a little on his own behalf. (And it makes sense his fate was nonstop horror before - if you want someone to turn into a demon god who is in so much pain he wants to erase the universe into nothingness, you can’t give him a glimmer of hope or a positive outlet. You don’t want your would-be world destructor to go “I don’t want to end the Universe because I have a sect dinner on Thursday, and my wife and I are going on a vacay the following weekend, how about we check back in a few millennia.”)

He is so gentle with this random old lady and he’s able to analogize the two of them - that is empathy, really, something impossible for a person they claimed was devoid of feelings; he’s come so far all because he’s had normalcy and care.

And he tries to make her withered tree bloom because she wants it, tries so hard even tho he just met her (and that he tries with the help of charms Susu taught him - he really is a memorial to her in so many ways, a living breathing memorial.)

I love his conversation with the old lady btw, it is my favorite scene in the episode, where they talk about why people live. In some ways, despite his age he is pitifully young since he’s had so little normal experience. This isn’t just a mission to help and old lady, it is a mission to help him too.

The way it turns out she knew and yet still took it, because kindness is rare and precious...

I love his opening up, responding to honesty with honesty, care to care. He is like a mirror to the world, in so many ways, and when all it gave him was pain he dealt pain back, but he is slowly healing, slowly climbing out of his well of misery and abuse and seeing humanity in others and in the process finding humanity in himself.

It’s so interesting how he answers about people, not home, because he doesn’t have a home, not really. Nowhere where people are glad to see him and so there is no home for him because without care it’s just rocks and dirt and why does he care where he is.

Oh God, this killed me.

The way he ponders that!

The way this is written - it’s as if Susu translates the world to him and him to the world and without her as the conduit, he cannot judge his success or his worth or his morality. I am incoherent!!!

It is gutting that all he needed was a little push - a little choice, a little happiness. Look how quickly he learns - like when he talks about his wife to the old lady and old lady asks if he could get his wife back by becoming evil, would he, and he thinks and is tempted but says no because Susu would not have liked it. He has learned to put what she wants above what he wants (a change even from “hate me as long as you are here.”)

The way he figures out how to fulfill the old lady’s wish with his white lie and her response just...

Here he is with the old lady who passed away. I am verklempt....

It really is nature/nurture debate and the answer is pretty clear - if he was brought up with love and care instead of constant trauma and suffering - he would have been just lovely; he is climbing out of that abyss even after all the torment and without it he’d have been there so much sooner. Devil God actually is a manifestation the world’s cruelty creating its own monsters and seeds of its own destruction and I love that.

PS Devil God voice is proof that you can’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good (or evil in this case.) He should have taken the body/soul when TTJ didn’t care and was offering but he wanted to wait for the perfect host as opposed to 98% compatible and now he’s living (undying?) proof of the old adage of “you snooze you lose!”

[probablynotasquid]

we need more cyno in sagau honestly like theres so much potential

he could be, depending on the story/situation, either your most powerful ally or your most dengerous enemy.

like if he recognises you, or you manage to convince him that yes, you are the true creator, he would lay down his life for you. well, that's not saying too much, considering he does that for everything he believes in, but that's just it. he wholeheartedly believes and trusts you. he is willing to sacrifice himself to stand up for what he believes in and enact justice where he sees fit. especially now that he's the former general mahamatra/is generally acting on his own accord with everything thats going on with the akademiya. he would avidly fight for you and seek to see those who oppose you—the true creator—face a suitable punishment. his moral compass is his guiding force, and that could definitely be to your benefit.

however, it also goes both ways. if he believes you an imposter, then he is one of the first ones tracking you down to see you to justice. paired with his skill for it, refined and strengthened over his years of being general mahamatra, he is definitely force to be reckoned with. if you go against his own beliefs and values, disrespect the almighty creator, he shows no mercy. he hunts you down like a starving wolf to a meek rabbit. he is more than willing to enact his own justice, to punish you himself. he's famous for his cutthroat and unyielding approach to his work, and you are no exception. if anything, your situation is only proof of this thought.

(under the cut: swearing, physical violence)

imagine your dropped into the unforgiving heat of the desert with nothing but the clothes on your back. miles and miles of endless hills of sand, constantly shifting and unsteady under your feet. you sit for a moment, collecting your racing thoughts, before setting off in one direction, hoping for the best. staying put would only guarantee your demise.

but perhaps you should have stayed put. after hours of endless walking, you spot an oasis; hope floods your veins and echoes in your bones, and you dash towards it in desperation. you fail to register the lot of eremites camped on the opposite side of the pond.

they sure see you. they immediately recognise the form, the face of their dear creator, but something is wrong. it couldn't possibly be them, you in such foreign clothing and with such inelegance as you gracelessly fumble to cup the water into your hands and gulp it down. you were far too... mortal to be them.

how dare you, they think and mumble amongst themselves. impersonating of the creator must be thirsty and payless work, one comments, as they snickered and sneered at your pathetic display. you don't hear them. all you can think about is how crisp the water is as it slides down your thoat. it comes in small splashes as it drips down your chin, through your fingers, onto the ground. you don't care that its warm from the desert sun, a temperature that you would have poured down the sink when you still had the luxury. but now you were stranded in an unknown place with nothing and no idea of what to do or where to go.

none of the eremites really know who first proposed the idea, but soon enough a good majority of them were on their feet, heading in your direction. if your so miserable, perhaps they should put you out of it.

you barely recognise the footsteps in the sand. you look up to see an oddly-shaped paddle sort of weapon, pointed right between your eyes. you freeze. your heart drops, eyes widen, arms stiffen but stay close to your chest. the man before you wears a condescending smirk, similar to those of his companions. your eyes dart between them, their hands holding various weapons, their unique faces and hairstyles, their clothing. their clothing is so familiar.

then it clicks. you've seen these people before. not specifically, not them, but their kind. the eremites. the fictional organisation of a fictional population from a fictional nation in a fictional universe. they didn't exist. what were they doing here?

no. what were you doing here? you were the one who woke up in the middle of fucking nowhere. you weren't supposed to be here. you had a math test in two days, the one you weren't studying for because you didn't feel like it. you had a doctors appointment in a few weeks for a routine checkup. you had your daily commissions to do in the game you like playing for hours at a time.

the man speaks in a deep and raspy voice that doesn't quite grate on your ears but deeply unsettles you. you don't quite catch his words. you could only stare, absolutely terrified and confused. the metal shined blindingly, the desert winds howled deafeningly, and suddenly it was just you and your reaper.

'imposter', you hear, and your gaze focused back on the man's half-covered face. was he talking to you? that's not good, your mind babbles, that would mean you were—

pain in your stomach. burning, blinding pain, right in your stomach. you double over, leaning over the pool of the oasis. eyes screwed shut, breath knocked out of you, head pounding from exhaustion and dehydration. he hit you. that guy hit you. what did you do? you didn't do anything. you didn't have anything for him to take.

but he kept hitting you. him and his companions. strikes of hurt, sparks and spikes and splashes of pain rain onto you and all you could do was accept it. you didn't have a weapon, and even if you did, how effective would it really be in your inexperienced hands?

you don't know how long you were there for. minutes turned to hours, and you passed out from the overwhelming pain and fear. the next time you open your eyes, the sky was dark and the eremites were gone. they had packed up their camp and headed to wherever they were going. you were alone. finally, unfortunately. your muscles ache and your bones creak. you can't stand. you can't do anything but lay there and cry about how much pain you were in, about how shitty your situation is, how your stomach is growling for food and you didn't have any.

the night passes, and all you can do was sleep in the same spot you were beaten nearly to death. you awake to the blaring heat of the sun and force yourself to move. the water is refreshing, but slightly bitter this time around. you spot some nuts in the few surrounding trees and manage to shake one down with the little arm and core strength you had.

time passes quicker than you imagined it would. sure, it was still painfully slow with nothing to entertain yourself with and a whole body of bruises and scrapes, but the days felt like hours. perhaps its the time dilation. whatever it was, your body seemed to adapt to it, and you were already feeling better in what felt like a few short days. you stumbled a bit when you try to stand, but you stand, and set off to find better shelter.

you settle for a cave. you don't have a map, so you can't navigate to aaru village, but you don't think you would want to anyway. the utterance if a simple word had you overthinking—'imposter'. you know the man said it. you were absolutely sure. and if he said it, that means you were absolutely screwed if you were in the situation you thought you were in. any sort of civilisation was a no-go, especially with how quickly word gets around within the eremites. who knows, maybe someone was already trying to find you and bring you to justice for your offence. you were safer alone, in this cave, with only a few foxes and scarabs for company.

more days pass, and you find yourself getting more and more paranoid. someone was going to find you here. you need to move. you don't know where, but just not here. you weren't safe here. you're never safe in imposter situations.

and right as you begin packing your pathetic rations of redcrest and dethorned cactus into a pitiful wrap of old, degrading fabric you found half-buried in the sand, a shadow is cast into the cave. your head shoots up in terror, and it only worsens as you recognise the silouhette's iconic headdress.

he found you, and anything could happen next.

———————————

just some food for thought :)))

writing this at 2am so if something doesnt make sense thats why lol

but please someone write for sagau cyno properly i may have a small bias bc he came home TWICE with early pity even though it totally ruined my chances of getting ms nilou my beloved but man he really likes me that much huh lmao

[bbygirl-aemond]

bella i need the faith of the seven parallels with the targaryen parental figures IMMEDIATELY

…I admittedly put way too much thought into this, but I will seriously never tire of the religions themes/parallels in Stormbreak. Plus, there's about to be a ton of religious stuff happening in upcoming chapters, so it's just on my mind. So here are all seven of the parental figures of Team Black & Green, as members of the Seven!

The Father- Aemond Targaryen.

The Father Above is known for being stern, but not unnecessarily so. He has a strong sense of justice, and considers it part of his duty to enact said judgment. At the same time, he's a protector, particularly of children. Aemond is similarly very reserved and righteous, but is deeply protective of children in every possible way (physically, but also mentally and emotionally).

The Mother- Rhaenyra Targaryen.

The Mother Above is known for being very loving and merciful. She's strongly associated with families and motherhood. Rhaenyra is a kind parent who can sometimes coddle and shelter her children. She's probably the best example of a Targaryen parent who loves her children unconditionally. Despite initially being wary of motherhood, she genuinely comes to love the act of building her own family, her own little clan.

The Warrior- Daemon Targaryen.

The Warrior is a study of opposites. On the one hand, he is associated with the most violent aspects of humanity, such as bloodshed and battle. But on the other, he is also one of the most compassionate faces of the Seven. He is the one who brings peace to the souls of those slain in battle, and who comforts the grieving loved ones left behind. This suits Daemon so incredibly well; he encompasses both of these extremes perfectly. It's also very clear that he identifies himself as a protector of his family, in part specifically because of his battle prowess.

The Smith- Alicent Hightower.

The Smith is, at his core, the mender of broken things. His entire purpose is to fix, to repair, to heal. Because of this, he is associated with incredible inner strength and selflessness. Alicent spends her entire life desperately trying to solve the problems of everyone around her. She is a natural caretaker and feels personally responsible when members of her family are unhappy.

The Maid- Criston Cole.

The Maid is associated most strongly with innocence and virginity. She embodies the value of chastity, and is also connected to children and marriage. Criston is a very religious and conservative man who views everything through this lens of righteousness and purity. His downward spiral after he sleeps with Rhaenyra and his devotion to Alicent are both directly related to the violation or fulfillment of this value. He also falls very naturally into a nurturing and guiding role for Alicent's children.

The Crone- Helaena Targaryen.

The Crone is associated with unparalleled wisdom. She is the one who knows the path ahead, and guides those around her along that path. There is an element of mystery to her; the idea of forbidden or secret knowledge. Helaena, as a very powerful dragon dreamer, has access to information about the path ahead in a way that no other Targaryen does. And we see her use this knowledge to influence the directions of those around her, always trying to nudge them towards the right path.

The Stranger- Aegon Targaryen.

The Stranger is part of the Seven, but is simultaneously completely unique. Unlike the others, they have no gender, nor do they have a face. They are the outlier, and this makes them the patron saint of outcasts. They do not decide where the souls of the dead go, but they lead them to their final resting place. Aegon feels isolated from his family, as if he is the lone black sheep within the herd. He distances himself from the other members of his family, and from his Targaryen heritage. He wants to support his loved ones, but thinks it is no one's place to decide or influence another's path.

Hope this fulfilled your brainrot the way it did mine!

[gh-0-stcup]

My last post got me thinking a bit more on how one might interpret Willow's relationships in the early seasons when coming at it with the perspective of her being a lesbian, rather than bisexual.

Willow had a crush on Xander from the start. Xander is her oldest (and possibly only) friend. They've known each other their whole lives, they always have fun together, and they love each other to death.

As I mentioned in my previous post, it is very easy to conflate this kind of dynamic with romantic/sexual attraction. You know you want this person to be in your life forever - isn't that what romance is? Wouldn't it be so nice to just marry them?

Let's put it this way. So you don't have many friends. The other girls are all really mean to you, so you hate them about as much as they hate you. You haven't had a close relationship with another girl since before puberty (if ever). You missed out on the slumber parties and other little moments of closeness with girls that could have clued you in that you're attracted to them.

Because of your social ostracization and general tendency to stay inside studying, you may be going into your second year of high school without ever having felt attracted to a single real life person.

At the same time, you know that everybody else is feeling it. They talk about it all the time. You must be feeling it to. You see guys on TV and think, "Oh, he's nice to look at." You always feel happy and comfortable around your best friend. That's it, right? That's what the buzz is about?

Another huge thing I don't see brought up too much anymore is the way Willow's pre-Tara relationships center almost entirely around validation.

Willow wants to be loved. She wants to be valued. She wants to be seen as attractive. Xander is constantly talking about how hot other girls are. Why can't he see her that way? Why can't any guy? Xander would see a girl he hates as an object of sexual desire before Willow.

The desire to be seen, to be desired can easily warp into a sort of obsession. But wanting to be wanted by a person is not the same as being attracted to them. And herein lies much of the trouble between her and Xander. She wants to be wanted by Xander, but does she want him? No, says season 3.

And now we come to Oz. This is another relationship that is almost entirely focused on validation for Willow. It's a big part of what makes it really, really fun to watch. From the second he first lays eyes on Willow, he's hers.

Oz is like everything Willow ever wanted. He's a cool attractive senior who's in a band and has a van. And he really, really wants her. He's also very smart, easy to talk to, and fun to be around.

It's a very low pressure relationship in terms of the physical. Oz craves meaningful connection, sees sexual activity as an expression of that connection. He encourages her to slow down, to not force it. He's chill. He'll wait. In short - it's not a relationship where passion is a requirement.

They go on several dates without Oz ever kissing Willow. Willow's first attempt to kiss Oz has him rejecting her because he can tell she's just trying to pacify her Xander-induced insecurities.

In his speech, Oz expresses openly how much he wants to kiss Willow. How he fantasizes about her in class. How much he wants to be the object of her desire as well. And Willow melts.

But her reaction is focused around (finally) being desired. It doesn't have much to do with Oz and who he is. She wants him to want her. That he's a cool guy she can brag about to her friends is a great bonus.

And don't take that last bit in the wrong way - it's wonderful Willow got to have that. It was innocent and sweet. The kind of guy she never imagined would be interested in her falling head over heels? It's pretty much every dorky girl's fantasy. Of course she's flattered and flustered and excited.

And what does Willow do when she has her dream guy? She cheats on him. Her affair with Xander can be seen as her being overwhelmed by this powerful attraction she's felt to him for years. Hormonal teenagers being idiots.

Many have suggested the thing with Xander can't align with lesbian!Willow. I disagree. Under this lens, Willow can't tell the difference between her feelings for Oz and her feelings for Xander because they aren't meaningfully different. She is able to cheat, depsite it being pretty against her character, because neither relationships carry the emotional weight they should.

The fling with Xander was a meaningless indulgence of a childhood fantasy. It was largely powered by (apologies for the repetition) wanting to be wanted. Xander, who's always overlooked Willow, was fucking up his relationship with Cordelia goddamn Chase to make out with Willow. That'd be pretty addictively validating.

Even after it blew up and Xander was single, there was never a choice between him and Oz for Willow. No conflict, Oz all the way. She felt dumb for even jeopardizing it.

But she did jeopardize it. Possibly an indication that even though their relationship was literally everything Willow could have asked for, there was still something missing?

Their sex life is also somewhat removed from sexual desire. When she attempts to initiate sex, it isn't about her attraction to him. She wants Oz to know she loves him, that he's special to her.

When they do have sex, it direct follows Willow's speech about there being so much she wanted to try after high school and how she's scared she might never get to. It isn't passion between the two characters that motivates the consummation, but Oz giving Willow the only thing he can in that moment. The chance to have a new and important experience.

Willow enjoyed it. They cuddle happily in the afterglow and Willow describes the experience as "nice."

Let's take a leap forward to Tara. Due to network restrictions, there's more limits on what the viewer is able to see of their relationship. The magic substitutes the physical, especially in season 4.

Those moments are intimate, sensual, very intense. They're deeply passionate.

Their connection is powerful. And it's entirely about each other. It's everything that was missing from Willow's relationship with Oz.

[circuit-if]

I love everything about this, your writing is so good!!! The pacing through the race was on freaking point, I really felt the suspense and knowing the choices we make during races is going to affect things is so cool! All the ROs sound super interesting, I can't wait to meet everyone.

I'm also a sucker for a shared history kind of RO, I just want to grab Roman by the shoulders and shake him, so you've definitely written a compelling character there XD. What do you mean bestie doesn't want to go on an epic road trip esque racing competition circuit across the world with me? :( But I didn't know they were going to add me, I'm as surprised as you are! More even, you found out before I did! :((( I am so so excited for any future confrontation scenes even though I know I (irl) would cry in such situations lol.

Seriously though, if the roles were switched, I'd be ecstatic there turned out to be another free spot my bestie got (... even if there were potentially questionable means... we all gotta have our secrets ;) ), and I don't think I'd jump to the conclusion of cheating/some sus af sketchy deals because paperwork and logistics are beyond me :') My dumb ass would think I misheard the open spots available or some other racer dropped out lol. I'm going to hang onto that Roman friendship like a leech, I'm just imagining so much angst potential for an MC that's all puppy dog eyes, just standing in the background of Roman's interviews like 'We're still friends, right? Or if I didn't get a spot to join the circuit, would you have left without another look back and forgotten about me entirely? Maybe it's better things turned out this way, because even if you hate me, at least you're still in my life.'

Sorry this got so long, I just love this so much, your writing is seriously incredible!!

Hmm, to make this an actual ask, what would you say are the ROs giving and receiving love languages?

Thanks for the support my friend! As always, it feels great to have put so much work into the racing scene and have it pay off with just the feeling I was trying to portray.

As for that last ask at the end as well as the ask above...

Nicholas/Nadine - Words of affirmation & quality time. As in just sitting together and being able to chat somewhere for hours, just the two of you.

Roman - Quality time & physical touch. As in being able to sit together and do your own thing while occasionally leaning in for a kiss on the cheek or to lean against one another.

Sadie/Spencer - Acts of service & quality time. S. is a hard worker, so they love to treat you to little favours and insist it really isn't a big deal. They enjoy taking you on stupid dates, too <3

Carmen - Words of affirmation & acts of service. Carmen's the type to value doing little things for one another in passing that make your lives just a touch easier.

[panderghast]

I have maybe a pinch of hope left...

Cause like, I have sooooo much to give. And it seems like everyone wants a piece of it, but nobody wants to give anything back. They want me to be dirty, as long as I can wash myself clean again of course (my goodness). They love how quirky I am! Until I need to tone it down, oh my gosh it's mortifying. Why would I wear that in public, say that out loud? I'm going to walk away from you if you do that, I swear to god don't embarrass me. I have strong values and morals; unless we disagree. Then I become stubborn and unpleasant while I defend my opinion and you drown out my voice with your cynicism and ego. I can't even talk about what's bothering me, it's a personal attack on them exclusively. Lord have mercy it is actually about them, because suddenly they do nothing right and nothing is ever good enough for me and they just can't lose me, they can't!

Honestly, I'm also tired of playing into the thought of basic decency being my reward? I'm not your good girl. I'm not a dog. You aren't a dom, and I'm not a sub. I don't owe you that privilege just because you saw me naked and you put your hand on my throat while you fucked me. You don't know the first thing about BDSM, and you can't even tell me the definition of a kink. So why do you think this is a turn based game instead of a bonding exercise around consent? Don't touch me.

The thing is, I want to let someone in. I want to express deep and passionate love. But I am constantly misguided. I am lead to believe these men tell the truth, and then once I get comfortable in their embrace and I feel safe they constrict me like a snake until I stop breathing. My heart is treated like a possession, not a delicate gift. I'm a conquest in some sick subjugation, not a prize to be displayed and discussed and proud of. I'm a very fun toy to have, but I'm like a sports car - but they can't use me everyday, that's why they have their family car and I'm in the garage; they can only take my out when its convenient or they're feeling nostalgic or frisky. All I was asking for is maybe some recognition? A little appreciation, some attention? Maybe give me half as much thought as you did to your Baldur's Gate 3 character. Or, I suddenly turn into their mother and I get to experience all the Freudian bullshit that they packed in their bags and dragged around with them from house to house. I must be able to teach them all the things their lacking, right? I mean, after all I'm raising 4 kids successfully on my own and maintaining a house and budget without help and I do all these wonderful things like cook and clean and make art and I can still love so freely. Wow! I'm a goddess. I'm so special, unique, incredible, astounding...So, that's something that I can share obviously. It must be a secret, a technique I've perfected through all the trauma and opportunities life has given me. If I could only support them a bit...emotionally, spiritually, financially, sexually, physically, mentally...teach them how to take care of themselves since they never bothered to learn. Then I could make them a good partner. For me, of course! ...But I have to make sure I share their interests because mine are a bit boring, they don't get it it's too much information to follow, this cartoon is kind of childish don't you think, what is this a romance, I don't really understand old horror movies they're so badly made...but hey, have you seen the entire Marvel collection? Don't worry, I'll make sure to ask you questions on everything you do like that coincides with my interests to make sure you're telling the truth. Oh wait, make sure that I don't go out without them too much, they'll feel lonely. Why is my phone going off so much? I'm so paranoid about shutting my laptop when I'm done, omg can I stop doing that why don't I leave it open. Hey, they're out of body wash and shampoo btw. Ah, shoot, can I help them clean up because they're just so tired. Can I cover this bill, order this food, get these drinks cause they ran out of money? We haven't gone out in a while...oh it's because I'm not paying or planning for it anymore and the last time you did anything was March? What the fuck do you mean you don't vote? What the fuck do you mean you think feminists are annoying? What the fuck do you mean I emasculate you, I wasn't even talking to you, I was talking to my son about doing his homework or else he would end up living in his friends apartment sleeping on a mattress on the floor with no sheets and his winter coat on cause they couldn't afford the gas bill working a dead end job at a fast food place cause he has no skills...but if the fucking shoe fits, my guy. 🙄

[historia-vitae-magistras]

alfred straight up murdering his brother on accident just because he walked too quietly into the room is so fucking funny but how terrifying is alfred to regular humans? If he goes to casually throw some ridicously heavy thing he's working on over to the intern or whoever theyre not gonna get back up on their feet to chew him out for it lol. also... getting shot and squished by bisons still hurts like all hell right? does matthew start to get wary around him or is he just too used to it to be all that bothered?

Lmao right? I very much enjoy using these characters, especially fleshy loony-tune-style horror shows because good fucking god, it's funny. But its also very fun? Alfred javelining people into the water must be so fun. Alfred casually picks up Matt when he's on the sofa because he dropped his keys behind it. He will randomly rip up troublesome trees in someone's fields in the middle of the night. This is not a wholly negative, angsty or even humourous trait.

So for humans... not very as an adult. I think. Generally, Alfred puts his people at ease. He's handsome, funny, intelligent and friendly. Man has that kind of crooked smile and easy charm. The charisma, luck and social skills of the gambler and the grifters and drifters of the old Westerns if not the old West. When he was little and had less control because he'd get excited, I could see him getting himself in trouble and accidentally committing some violence. As an adult, I think he's much more careful around humans, and the only time he tends to bust out the super strength is to prevent accidentally killing humans. Picking up a car in front of someone getting aggressive will contain that person's aggression goddamn fast.

As for if things hurt, yes. Superheroes and Gods are boring for me to write about. I like making these fuckers creepy and overpowered sometimes, but I'm most invested in their humanity. So time to do the math. The average bison is about 816 to 1,088 kg, and the most recent record for a deadlift was 487 kg. So on the lower end of that, 816 divided by 487 is about 1.67; redeploy that as a percentage that's about 160% the strength of what's currently possible. I personally think this is why this dork is always snacking, so it has some effect on his metabolism and his physiology. He's not going to starve to death as fast as he should with that metabolism because there's that nation fuckery there, but my boy is peckish. So now that I've laid that nonsense out, I generally make him about 160% more resilient than the strongest human (yeah, my browser history is fucked, what about it?), but not in all ways because biologically, that would fuck up his brain something fierce cerebellum be whack big and I like my nerdy NASA boy. But I try to keep that 160 in mind, so it might sometimes be consistent? Maybe? But yeah, he's durable and walks away from a lot of things that most people wouldn't, but he can be shot, dropped, smashed, hit, etc. And his pain tolerance is limited because, again, that removes too much vulnerability and why are we invested in this nerd? Lord knows it's not patriotism on my end. Strong, but not indestructible.

Now with the biology and the physical aspect of my stupid brain's explanation of this yankee doodle dumbass (affectionate) articulated, onto the emotional and interpersonal consequences. This is a bit meta, but Alfred's perception of himself and his loved ones can reflect this fandom and canon. I don't know if canon makes them twins, but many people do despite some intrinsic differences in history, progress, culture and values. It's a valid take because who wants to lord over other people or think about being the superpower and the empire? And passport privilege, cultural dominance, and political hegemony are things that only come into play when we're online or in some sort of international situation. The world revolves around the US, but Alfred's 'first amongst equals' with the laurels of power is not his default setting. At home, he just wants to be another person. Abroad, he has to function on a different set of rules, and leadership, and that arrogance only comes out at certain points. He wants to be human, he wants to be loved, he wants to be normal. And it hurts his fucking feelings to be reminded he isn't, that it is lonely at the top, that no matter how similar, the Trudeau quote applies.

Matt's used to him, and Alfred's reasonably careful, but the gulf between them, Alfred's ability to just steamroll him if he wanted to (even if Matt would give him a hell of a fight) does leave its marks. Matt tries as hard not to show it as much as Alfred tries not to crush him. He's overjoyed about something and goes in for a hug, and there go a couple of subluxing ribs as he kind of affectionately slaps Alfred's shoulder like "indoor muscles! Indoor muscles, bud!" And its mainly because Alfred doesn't like thinking about being a weirdo, and Matt doesn't want to remind him. They want to be as equal as possible, but physics is a thing.

[schneereggen]

I saw another anon's question to nayruwu abt whether or not shinya is imp to guren and then I read you analysis on shinya'd character.

I see why shinya thinks so highly of guren, becoz he gave shinya a reason to live. But then why does guren care abt shinya. I mean when they met shinya was just a person who had killed all so many and if it's abt someone he can trust then guren had mito, goshi and his subordinates, then why is shinya so important?

I mean there must be something abt shinya right? Something aside from him being a killing machine and just spitting some life morals. You said shinya realised that human bonds are important after he became close to guren, but then why would guren care abt befriending shinya if shinya didn't care much abt human bonds before meeting guren.

Ok I guess, how shinya admires guren, guren does not or does? And if he does then what exactly does he admire abt shinya?

I know this can be really basic question, but it would be great if you could answer my question🌺🩵

That's a very interesting question and I am glad you are asking as I have a headcanon foe, that I just never specified. Maybe briefly in another analysis. Thanks for the question ☺️ Here we go!

What does Guren make him so attached to Shinya specifically ?

We know that Guren - despite being around many people before - was always trying to keep others away and not build any bonds. Sayuri and Shigure try to get closer to Guren but he doesn't want them to be close. We see him constantly pushing them away and lying to them. Though he kind of likes their company, he doesn't want to get too attached or let them see any of his true feelings and nature. Guren puts on a mask around them. He tries to fulfill the role to be their master, their leader rather than be himself. Which probably is very exhausting for him in the long run.

The only person Guren seems close to at the beginning of the novel is his father. Though Guren also tends to put on a mask around him, they both know each other long enough to notice when something is up.

But back to Mito and Goshi. Mito was always described by Guren as being annoying and Goshi is... Well... over the top to say at least. Goshi has little to do in common with Guren though he works really well in their friend group as the "clown", the one to make jokes and lighten up the mood.

In the case of Mito Guren notices that she didn't have many friends or rather none before she met Guren. She bonded with Goshi in the first few weeks of high school (rather a competitive relationship but that counts) but as they all meet up at Guren's place, it is said that she never had friends before. To me it feels like Guren pities her for that. Mito's and Guren's relationship is kind of complicated but we can say in the end Guren values her a lot as his friend and don't want to hurt her just as he tells her when she confessed to him.

In general, Guren mainly enjoys being around Sayuri, Shigure, Mito and Goshi. He likes that they are lively and joke around. Guren likes being around people that are enjoying themselves. And that's also probably one of the reasons why he enjoys being around Shinya.

But how is Shinya different from the rest? What makes him special for Guren?

Though Guren enjoys the company of his friends, he still keeps a lot of his feelings and thoughts to himself. His friends accept that and don't question that. And Guren seem to like that he isn't judged for his behavior. But in my opinion, though he's accepted by his friends he still tries to keep up an act around them.

That's the part where Guren's relationship to Shinya differs from the rest.

Shinya not only doesn't judge him for his behavior, but he actively calls him out for it. In the first novel Guren was very fond of his acting skills but Shinya saw right through him. Shinya kept pushing him, trying to get him out of his comfort zone. Shinya is one of the few that is able to actually challenge Guren not only on a physical but at an emotional level. This made Guren try harder to keep the mask and get the upper hand over him and Guren seems to enjoy this competition that only Shinya imposes on him.

By having found an equal on Shinya, Guren starts trusting him very early on without knowing why. If I had to guess I would say it's because of their very open conversations. Shinya is very honest and Guren is not able to hide anything from Shinya. Yet Shinya never makes use of this knowledge apart from teasing Guren.

During the novels this develops into a trustful relationship where Guren starts to understand that he can actually tell Shinya everything. Shinya would understand, Shinya would even understand if Guren would not fully be able to express it verbally.

Shinya is the only person that Guren feels understands him. He doesn't have to lie or act differently around him. Shinya understands his emotions and most of all - Shinya knows how to respond to them.

Whenever Guren doesn't know what to do, Shinya will be there and help him find a solution. He would push Guren in the right direction. That's most visible in Resurrection where Shinya exactly knows what to say to make Guren feel better.

If anything Guren admires Shinya's way of talking honest with him. Shinya would always tell him straight forward what he needs to hear. And Guren values his opinion. Plus, Guren doesn't have to pretend because it's useless anyway.

Shinya is the person that will always help him when he's in need. He's Guren's anchor when he lost directions - and Guren doesn't even ask for it. And his moral compass because Shinya is the one that made him believe in human bonds in the first place when Guren didn't even wanted to have bonds or friends.

It would be nice if Guren would realize that he can also always actively come to Shinya and not make Shinya do all the work. But we might see that in Resurrection one day? At least I hope because Guren knows he needs Shinya. He just can't say it out loud. Tsundere *cough*

Guren is lost without Shinya. Shinya is the only person that understands him - even without words. In a world of lies, Shinya is the only person he can open up to and fully trust.

Remember when in chapter 83 Shinya said "You want me to stop you."? That's basically it. Guren wants Shinya to see his true self when he can't show it himself.

[beanghostprincess]

Opinions on Sanuso ?? 😁

this is like asking jesus his opinions on the bible but okay i'll answer your silly question (-> said by someone literally desperate to answer this question. thank you.)

sanuso, to me, is the most domestic and realistic ship when it comes to sanji. of course, usopp too, but i'm focusing on the one who has more ships than fights in this show. dude is shipped with everybody (as he should be. sanji deserves all the love). what i mean by this, is that their personalities match perfectly:

they're both insecure and have self-worth issues, but cope with them in different ways, and the reason why they're like that is their different but oddly similar pasts if you think about it!!

sanji has... a fair amount of trauma. my poor boy. he was born into a family that constantly told him he was weak and undeserving of love. he was abused, physically and mentally, and he lost the only one who truly made him happy. then he finally made it to the east blue, but even if zeff's a great father (we love you, king) his views on strength and masculinity obviously had a lot to do with sanji's personality. he had to learn to cope in silence, to deal with pain like a man, and to sacrifice himself for others every damn time, not only because he's too kind for his own good, but also because he doesn't think he deserves to be a priority.

on the other hand, usopp was born into a loving family, but his father and role model disappeared and his mom died when he was still very, very young. he had to cope on his own, but at least he had kaya. and the village. right? however, he has spent his whole life pretending and lying and not acting like himself because he doesn't like himself. because he dreamt of bigger things and he was nothing compared to the fantasies he told kaya about.

sanji is the dream usopp seeks, and usopp is the domesticity sanji needs.

sanji sacrifices himself and deals with pain in silence like a man. usopp lies and hides and runs from the truth because he thinks he's not good enough.

so here we have these idiots who do not love themselves but love everyone else with the biggest hearts we've ever seen.

and, you know, people don't ship sanuso as much as they ship other pairings. and i'm not gonna go into the whole "actually, usopp's ships are underrated because usopp himself is underrated and it has to be with him not following stereotypes and normativity regarding his looks and personality in shonen manga" but it's literally just that. i'm so, so sure the ship would be more popular if people actually stopped and valued usopp more... not gonna go into this. sorry. i just love him too much to not defend him to death all the time.

so... the thing about sanuso that makes them so special to me:

they understand and complement each other in a way i think no other mugiwara would understand, and they know how to deal with each other's pain.

(i know this is just my opinion and not an analysis, but i'm annoying when it comes to sanuso so i'm just gonna keep writing until my hands fall off!)

their personalities are... different. like. not "opposites attract different" but... different.

sanji masks his insecurities by acting like the gentleman he already is. he just hides his past and, when the situation comes, he always sacrifices himself but never says the reason why. he covers the fact that he sees himself as undeserving of living and being a priority by putting others first, using his "prince-like/gentleman" facade. we see this with women, mostly, but he's always giving and never taking. he isn't selfish. in fact, he's selfless to a worrisome extent (thriller bark, for example. skypiea, too). but he masks all of this just by saying he's strong enough to take it! man enough to protect everyone! and both can coexist, but it's pretty obvious that he wants to feel useful and loved and the use of self-sacrifice shows us both at the same time.

usopp, on the other hand? he's more fond of running away from his problems and hiding and using his "god/warrior" facade to cover all of his hatred for himself. hatred that not only comes from his past, but also from being surrounded by men who are stronger to an insane extent that's even weird in the anime fantasy world they're in. of course he feels insecure! he's not selfish, per se, but he's kind of a coward and he has this survivor's instinct that sanji lacks. but also, when the time comes, his own morality and good heart make him act beyond that instinct and he's the one to save the ones weaker than him (dressrosa).

okay, so, they both feel very insecure. sanji about his masculinity and worth, and usopp about his strength and bravery. sanji deals with it by self-sacrificing himself and using his gentleman facade, and usopp does the same by lying and running away. sanji doesn't fear death if it's to protect others, and usopp is scared of dying but he would fight against it in some cases for the same reason.

this is why i think they understand each other on a deep, intimate level that other mugiwaras don't get. water 7 is the best example of this, and it will forever be (along with skypiea) the best arc to explain why sanuso works so well. i honestly miss pre time-skip sanuso. they were so, so good...

and it's not only that they understand each other deeply, but the fact that they know how to work with it! their personalities match so well...

sanji thinks before acting and makes plans and his whole life is this complex recipe he has used ever since he was a kid to achieve the expectations of others, hiding his past and his fears. sanji understands people. he can read them well and knows how to approach them with a gentle, caring behavior. he's a sweetheart. he sees somebody suffering and goes to help. or, you know, he can also be a bastard and act on impulse but that's him too, isn't he? (by the way, not gonna mention zosan's dynamic here because that's a complete analysis of them also and it would make this thing longer). his actions are thoughtful but they're led by emotions and empathy mostly.

usopp is more logical and anxious, though. he thinks things through and tries to find the better outcome for himself and whoever he's trying to save, but it isn't really helpful the fact that he's an anxious guy with the constant fear of failure and hurting himself or being seen as weak. but he approaches problems nevertheless when he needs to, and he understands people and gives them what they need at the moment, if that makes any sense.

sanji needs somebody who will understand him but also will give him what he needs at the moment, and usopp needs somebody who's thoughtful and will see beyond his insecurities. that's why they work!!! they make me ill!!!

they're, for me, one of the best ships because they can talk things out. well, of course, sanji's repressed ass would have thousands of issues with liking a boy and also with opening up to somebody. but after seeing usopp is the same as him? after noticing that usopp's just pretending to be confident and he's also worried about what sanji thinks of him? it's beautiful. they could have, as a couple, such a deep connection!!

sanji knows usopp can protect himself but still helps him out all the time because of fear of losing him, and usopp gives sanji enough space to let him open up without suffocating him. they don't rush things. their thing happens naturally. gradually. it's slow and gorgeous and sometimes a bit angsty from both sides, but... it's the magic of a relationship turning into romantic when it used to be only a friendship. i love them so much!!!!! aghhhhhhhh *bangs head against concrete floor*

not to mention, also, that their canon dynamic is hilarious. usopp taking care of sanji at gyojin island when he's being uh.... all over the place with women, but also being done with his behavior is so married couple coded. and also, their whole thing ever since they've known each other is so so funny. because usopp can be as chaotic as luffy sometimes, when he's actually a very logical guy (he loses brain cells when he's around luffy and chopper istg), and sanji has to deal with it. and sanji is calm and collected but a fucking mess when it comes to feelings and love and usopp has to be the one to ground him. also, usopp teases him constantly when he flirts with women.

and, idk, their whole relationship feels very domestic and beautiful to me, especially after skypiea and water 7. i really do miss them there!! they're still boyfriends, though.

and also... gonna go into mbti stuff right now, kay? i love, love, LOVE sanji being an enfj and usopp being an entp:

-> ENTPs and ENFJs are both Extroverted, Intuitive personalities, meaning they tend to enjoy being around others and focusing on the big picture. However, ENTPs are also logical thinkers, who enjoy pursuing new experiences, while ENFJs are empathetic and prefer following set schedules. ENTP personalities should engage in casual, personal conversation with ENFJs, while ENFJs should communicate clearly and logically around ENTPs. -> ENTPs should be sensitive to ENFJs’ feelings by addressing issues gently and helping ENFJs feel safe enough to share their thoughts openly. ENFJs should work to focus carefully on the facts of the situation and avoid overly emotional expressions around ENTPs.

NOT TO MENTION SANJI IS 1W2 AND USOPP IS 6W7 AND THEY MAKE ME GO INSANE CRAZY I'M UNWELL-

but yeah, you can say i like sanuso a fair, normal amount! :)

(i'm not normal)

i just love how domestic and genuine their ship feels. because unlike their other ships, focusing mainly on either sexual tension or painful pining and devotion, these two have such a natural and sweet dynamic... it kind of reminds me to usopp and kaya, too! perhaps that's why it works so well (in this blog we support and love both ships. usopp has two hands!).

10/10 great awesome ship. they give spiderman x gwen stacy but maybe that's just me and my fantasies of them doing the spider-kiss with sogeking.

[turtletaubwrites]

With your message about ur mental health and stuff, thank you for putting that out there. Mental health is extremely important, and it’s good to prioritize that. On that note, it brings me such joy that you have a community here and that you enjoy writing as much as I enjoy reading your stories. Genuinely, if you ever need to reach out or rant to anyone, there is a community of people here for you. We really value the time you put into your stories. The care you put into the characters and the plot. Thank you for the check in. On that note, ahhhhhh I love numbers game so much! Also I’m the same way with the white beard pirates. I love their dynamic so much and ahhh I won’t go too into now since I don’t wanna get you off track. Just know when it’s the white beard pirates time to shine I will be here!!!!!

- ⭐️ anon

😭😭😭😭😭 Thank you!! It means so much to me that y'all are here hanging out, reading my words, AND being so dang kind!! 😭🙏🏼

I'm also so grateful that I can be open about my mental health here. I do my best to tag it, and "keep reading" the heavy or in depth stuff, but it is so lovely. I used to be incredibly open and outspoken about mental health awareness, and would discuss my diagnoses publicly (even did some keynote speaking about it), but that was before I got my BIG diagnoses 3-4 years ago, and with my current job, I haven't felt comfortable speaking openly about it. It makes me pretty dang grumpy.

Unfortunately there's still a lot of stigma surrounding Bipolar and OCD. I've been open about PTSD and ADHD, but haven't felt safe enough to share the others.

Thank you for letting me have space for this, it means the world to me!

And yes, don't get me distracted! Lol, not that anything could pull me away from NUMBERS GAME right now, but you keep putting the Whitebeard Pirates in my head!!!

You are the loveliest, ⭐ anon! I hope you have big smiles today!

~ Lynna 💜✨

Below the cut is an update on my current mental health, and possible episode. It is a personal vent about the yuck, so please, please don't read it if you're not down for a dump at the moment! I will not be offended if you scroll past! (cw bipolar, cw mixed episode, cw vent post)

Tumblr is really weird about the cut sliding around on ask posts for some reason, so if you see any text below this, please scroll past it!

Thank you so much for the kind words!!

It's rough out here.

I already have a hard time doing things. ANY things. Executive dysfunction with ADHD is one of the biggest struggles I've dealt with my entire life.

Right now though, it's all piling up. Friends and loved ones texts and calls. Random life tasks and responsibilities. Work tasks put off (and my company falling apart isn't helping me with that motivation 😩). Job hunting is not happening as it should.

My physical health is not great right now, and it's making it more difficult for me to want to participate in the outside world.

I have a feeling I'm in another mixed episode (a lovely cocktail of mania and depression 🙃). The intense hyperfixation that is going beyond the adhd levels, plus the espresso depresso times point to that.

Or maybe I'm just focusing on the thing that is bringing me comfort and joy during this difficult time.

Either way, all I want to do is write. I'm working with my therapist on pushing myself back into doing other things in the world. I'm going to visit family this weekend. I'm slowly, slowly getting there.

But honestly, I'm just so grateful to have this right now. To have these stories, to have people read them and enjoy them, and talk to me about them. I've never had a hobby or hyperfixation that was so rewarding, healing, or this long term. I know that I would not be doing well with my current circumstances if I didn't have these stories running through my brain everyday, and the satisfaction of capturing and sharing them.

Life sucks (not always, lol 🙃), but we find the things that make it bearable. That give us some joy.

Right now, that's Cross Guild smut & angst 😅

And all of you kind, funny, wonderful people in this lil corner of the internet.

You have no idea how much it means to me 💜💜💜

[pallastrology]

april notes

artwork by maurice hagemans

i feel like march has been really intense... anyone else? i think the aqua/pisces/aries mix can be tough, and with the coming of spring it's a very impactful time of year. anyway, april starts out with the moon trine mercury, in sagittarius and aries. this is a nice transit, though very fast; your feelings and thoughts work together harmoniously to find the heart of the matter. complementing this is venus, which is currently conjunct neptune in ephemeral pisces, and sextile uranus in collected taurus. two very nice aspects here, bringing some much-needed calm and compassion to us before the storm that is mercury going retrograde hits. for general advice on mercury retrograde, see this post! throughout the first week of april, the moon will join pluto in aquarius. coupled with mercury in retrograde, i would say be cautious; not scared, but collect yourself and your thoughts before you speak up. don't go in blindly and don't give into your every desire. venus soon ingresses into aries, which can make it harder to ignore those desires, especially when the moon forms a conjunction. while it's good to chase your dreams, remember to stay grounded!

when the moon joins mercury in aries, we might be feeling pent up and ready to blow. if you can, look for an outlet that doesn't involve direct communication with others, unless you have a trusted person you can vent to knowing that they really get you. it's a good time to exercise or go hiking if you're into it, to burn off some frustration and clear your head. the new moon in aries on the 8th can amplify these struggles. again, i would say, do something physical (i like to clean my house around the new moon, it's a good workout and helps me feel calmer and less chaotic), and refine (or start to form) your plans. don't necessarily make any huge leaps right now though. later on, mars joins saturn to form a conjunction in pisces; this placement signifies immense inner strength and endurance. this is a good time to remind yourself that you're stronger than you give yourself credit for, and to be proud of how hard you are working to achieve your goals. it may bring up issues of balance, however; are you a workaholic? are you not putting in the effort/resources you could be? some reflection and a plan might be useful if you're feeling unbalanced.

later in the month, jupiter joins uranus in taurus. watch out for overindulgence and impulsivity! that being said, you've been working very hard, and it's okay to enjoy the fruits of your labour. just remember to appreciate the little things too, and not get caught up in sudden dreams and desires that, ultimately, steer you away from your goals. on the 20th, the sun ingresses into taurus, and we arrive at ox station! it's time to focus on our values and self-worth, our home life and environment, our work ethic and spending (or saving) habits, and take some time to enjoy the sweeter side of life. a little treat can go a long way, but let's stay focused. the sun square pluto in aquarius puts a bit of dampener on an otherwise warm and inviting transit, but it's nothing to fear; squares indicate a power struggle, yes, but they also indicate a lot of energy. how you channel that energy is up to you.

the full moon on the 24th could be quite tense, as pluto in aquarius makes it a t-square. while stress and tension aren't pleasant sensations or states to be in, this full moon could be a kind of catalyst moment; we often think of the full lunar phase as a time of release and reflection, and i think this will hold very true here. i'm personally expecting to feel like a wreck by this point, but often, for me at least, those "breaking point" moments help me gain clarity and rearrange what isn't working, or what's causing me stress. i hope that your full moon won't be stressful, but if it is, try doing something relaxing and just giving yourself the space to feel what you need to.

right at the end of the month, venus ingresses into taurus, which is a very comfortable placement. this transit asks us to lighten the load a little bit and get creative in life; to enjoy ourselves and find the balance between work and pleasure. to value ourselves the way we do our loved ones, and to build trust in ourselves and our inner circles. trust goes both ways of course, so we are tasked with being honest and reliable this month. wishing you all the best, as always.

xo