#but a part of me just
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and yet :(
#i try sooo much to be responsible#be better and healthier#cause i want to live and have a good life and start a family w bugman some day#but a part of me just#growing up like i did i think it made my brain depend on life-or-death-situations and the rush that comes with it#the exhilaration and how everything just fades away when you think this is it#now he kills me#and it always seemed so logical#he brought me into this world#seems fair that hed be the one to take me out#but he never did and now#boring monotony of life#i love life#i do#i dont love the emptyness inside me#my hands are trembling#LOL
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filipina miku!! my mom helped me with her outfit ^_^
#THIS TOOK ME FOREVER RAAHHHH#i had help from my mom with stuff like the parts of the traje de mestiza which is the outfit shes wearing#this trend looks so much fun and i wanted to join in.. im first gen canadian though so ive never been to the philippines and only#know thru stories of my parents growing up. im proud of my heritage but there are some things i didnt grow up with that#make me feel disconnected from my culture. so it was nice to talk to my mom abt it and ask for her help with this :3#the pleated tapis is meant to resemble her skirt.. i had no way of adding her stockings but i noticed the piano key design#so i used that for the saya. the bandana is meant to resemble her hairties and shes wearing bakya wooden slippers with embroidery#i kinda wanted to add the panuelo to resemble her tie as a finishing touch but i forgor ;w; just imagine it i guess#my mom really likes this. shes a little confused abt the blue hair and i had to explain her hair is like that but she thinks shes pretty#originally i wanted her holding the woven pamaypay and fanning herself because ITS HOT ITS 25 FUCKING DEGREES TODAY#but i couldnt get the pose right so i settled for this. i wanna draw her and brazilian miku high fiving ill do that tmrw#my art#myart#hatsune miku#miku worldwide#philippines#vocaloid#miku
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[on the verge of having a complete breakdown] i need to make some kind of list or perhaps sort things into categories
#šæ misc#idk how to tag this#i just love making lists#and sorting things into categories#pinterest#??#this is part of what motivates me to write i just love making lists of scenes and then sorting them into categories#bangers
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puppet hour was brutal
#this was a part of a comic i sketched as a warmup but it was too many panels so im posting this on its own#gravity falls#the book of bill#mabel pines#stanford pines#that one page gave me hope that ford trusts mabel and treats her better than he did in the show#cuz man it always made me so mad watching the show#like iknow its the point that ford thinks he and dipper are just like... better and smarter#not that he doesnt like mabel#but like idk!!!!! idk!!!!!!!!!!#the book of bill is redeeming ford a bit 2 me
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THAT one's goin on the list too now!
#bg3#bg3 tav#bg3 the emperor#baldur's gate 3#i just got to this part again in my second playthru and it#makes me laugh every time like WHO do you think you're talking to??????#stelmane??????#i think the fuck NOT#8 int won't stop finch from being petty!!!#oc: finch#my art
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FNAF nightmare foxy is a huge fan of Roxanne Wolf,,
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#roxanne wolf#nightmare foxy#security breach#fnaf 4#this is based off images from pax#where the Roxy performer met a nightmare foxy cosplayer#super cute had to draw a lil something for it!#trust me all foxys love Roxy#itās by law my source is trust me#I wanna believe foxy would see Roxy as part of their group#almost like the collective daughter of them#not to mention I think Michael Afton likes Roxy#and to me nightmare foxy is just a reflection of Michael#SO CHECKS out heād like her too#sheās the IT girl sheās the greatest
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10 years later
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushi#itafushikugi#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#least heterosexual group photo ive ever drawn tbh#u have the kings of subtle pda and their judgy lesbian third wheel#this does remind me a lot of the kind of art i used to do jhgdjghdfj#specifically that one furuba main trio piece i did forever ago. same vibe better art#anyway......i tried my best........ i tried so hard#i do not know how old they look . the goal was 25/26 but atp i've gaslit myself into thinking they look the same#especially megumi im so . throws hands in the air in defeat#but idk what else i can do cries at least i like it??? i think???????#i don't know!!! if they look younger than 25 whatever!!!!!!!!#why is it so hard fr me to make chars look older im gna slam my head against the door#maybe its fine. idc <- (lie)#in other news itfs are married fight me abt it . yuuji rockin the right hand ring fr Lack Of Finger reasons#also i am Eating nobara's fit . she might also look a bit younger than intended the more i look at her gDI why cant i have nice things#new hairstyle carrying tbh. i think she would a. grow it out and b. switch the side she parts it on to make Seeing easier#god just take it all tht really matters 2 me is low pony nobara and Rings On Fingers itfs#i did my time in yoi i know how to make wedding bands Work
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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absolutely flawless plan, everybody. great job.
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 11 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 11 spoilers#gif warning#gifs that will rotate in your mind for free warning#i don't know how to emphasize how close this is to what actually happens in canon#you just gotta trust me on this#honestly it should've worked. leona cheated.
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That's how it went
#tma#the magnus archives#tma podcast#magpod#mag 160#tma spoilers#tma s4#tma season four#jonathan sims#elias bouchard#my stuff#thats all i could think of after hearing elias talk abt jon being an archive#all jokes aside it makes me so sad and crazy to think abt it#like theres a lot in tma about losing ones humanity#and jons choices surely contribute to him losing it as well#but for the most part its him being dehumanised by others#well mostly elias and his plans of creating an archive of fear#jon going from 'a person having a position (the head archivist)' -> 'a person being a position (the archivist)' and finally to 'a position#(an archive)#its just so sad#and the fact that it ties with him losing bodily autonomy and being viewed like an object instead of a person#im dead on the floor crying#okay im done sorry#tma shitpost
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though the movie might be cancelled, yuri on ice will live forever in our hearts. thank you yoi fandom, it's been real ā”
#yuri on ice#yoiedit#yoi#victuuri#ice adolescence#anime gif#*gifs#animangahive#dailyshounenai#userkarura#usergojoana#userhanyi#useralphonse#usertorichi#usermoonz#usericybtch#userheidi#usergokalp#userartless#homuras#himawaari#this is not goodbye this is still my house!!!#devastated but not surprised tbh but i still wanted to channel my emotions somehow and just. express how much this show means to me so here#this thank you goes out to u guys. the fandom#mappa can eat a brick btw <3#god i wish i could articulate just how special yoi is to me#it truly resonated with me like very few other pieces of media have (i can count them with one hand in fact)#it was sooooo revolutionary and ahead of its time not just in terms of queerness but also in terms of mental health#it truly changed me as a person and i just. really appreciate how earnest and kind it was above all#thank you yoi. you will be a part of me forever <3
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Bruce died(?) again
Jason: Well, it's my turn.
Dick: What are you talking about?
Jason: Everytime Bruce is gone, one of you starts to act just like him, pushing everyone away, acting as only you can be right, and fighting anyone that gets in your way. Dick did it, Tim did it, even Cass kind of did it. So, this time, I will do it.
Tim: Isn't that how you act all the time?
Jason: Whoa, fuck you. You are so banned from historical drama movie nights.
#jason todd#dick grayson#tim drake#cassandra cain#batfam#bruce wayne#batman#dc comics#my ramblings#incorrect quotes#once again I made up this one#but like look at me and tell me that I'm wrong when Red Robin comics is rught there#Dick it's in Future State where he acts just like Bruce it's an au but like it's in character af for him#Cass ran away to Hong Kong so she kind of pushed them away and the second part she's always like this#Jason invites his siblings to his place to watch hustorical drama and criticizes the accuracy and if they are adapted from a book#how well of an adaptation they are#of course he is the one making most of the commentaries on the subject#is tim wrong? let's discuss
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Video game I saw in a dream. It was in this low poly style like an older video game. You play as this character I think was meant to be a lamb, or maybe a weird mix of a lamb a mouse and a rabbit, (while not really looking like any of those things) and youāre running away from a wolf. Your objective is to last as long as possible before the wolf catches and eats you.
The house youāre running in is endless and bizarrely put together like most building interiors in dreams are (like the infinite toilet dream dimension on Reddit lol) the layout of the house is pretty detailed, you can stop and hide in places like closets or bins while the wolf looks for you, you can go up and down stairs and into rooms etc.
You never actually know where the wolf is or how close it is to you until it appears in your line of sight, it makes no noise and the game gives you no way of knowing where it is, and itās pretty unpredictable it doesnt move at a consistent pace. When the wolf catches you thereās an animation showing it eating your character
#the actual animation of the wolf eating your character wasnt scary he kind of just cartoonishly swallows the character whole lol#the scary part is being pursued by him and never knowing how close he is#i remember being surprised when i first saw the game bc it was presented to me as#a fun addictive sort of game kinda like a mobile app game#and then i see it and its a horror game and the creators are just completely oblivious to it lmao#dream art#<- thats my tag for all my dream-inspired art#art#gif#photomanipulation#digital art#liminal#weirdcore#used a mix of ai photos and regular photos for this one#the ai stuff is sooooo good for recreating what a dream looks and feels like#but i didnt use it too much bc i wasnt able to get the specific photos i wanted :/#hmmmm this is vore isnāt it
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who doesn't love a gyroscopic man
#my art#fanart#the amazing digital circus#jax#this was the part that made me laugh the hardest I just HAD to draw it
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I hate being a person who loves bugs, I can't say anything without the person I'm talking to reacting with disgust. Today I had to literally beg a coworker for the life of a spider, and then after I put it in a nook outside she thought it'd be funny to show me a video she took of her killing one. Like idk man. Birds scare the shit out of me but I still get why people love them. They come in pretty colors and they sound nice and they're interesting to observe. I don't understand why people don't feel the same about bugs. The rich amber color of a cockroach, the iridescent glow of a fly, the intricate hydraulics that power their little legs, the chirp of a beetle, the art of the spider's web... It's all so beautiful. Why is it the habit of so many to destroy?
#insects#entomology#to be clear i think its perfectly understandable that people have phobias#i would never force someone to look at or touch a bug if they didnt want to#but it almost seems like some enjoy killing tiny creatures#like hell. even if they play no part in transferring the bug they still want it dead#it just makes me sad. theyre such lovely little beasts its like watching someone kill a puppy to me
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Prompt:
Brucie Wayne gets into a mild accident in public (read-got hit by a car). And Batman would just walk it off (āitās barely a bruiseā), but Brucie obviouslyā¦ canāt.
So he has to suffer the ordeal of having civilians call paramedics, getting fussed over, and having-
Having his dead son get into the back of the ambulance with him.
Oh- oh no. He must have hit his head worse than he thought. He thought he was past thisā¦
#((Jason is the one who hit him with the car))#(((but it truly was an accident)))#((((and now his elaborate revenge plans got derailed because OMG I HIT MY DAD WITH A CAR))))#Brucie gets to blubber and cry about his son in a way Batman isnāt allowed to#meanwhile Jason: omg pls shut up PLS Iām BEGGING you just die already#Bruce: anything for you š„¹#Jason: ā¦. hold on no I didnāt mean that B do NOT fall asleep on me right now#some more fake hallucinations#but nobody thinks itās a hallucination except Bruce#also: Wayne Son Back From The Dead!? more on page two!#((Jason takes his revenge by trying to boot Tim from the family and realizing heās not even part of it whichā))#((is anybody taking care of that raccoon? well Jason is now))))#prompts#crack au#fanfiction#inspiration#jason todd#batfamily#dick grayson#bruce wayne#batfam#robin#tim drake#red hood#Batdad#Brucie wayne
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