#but a major part of them is about hope in a hopeless situation it’s very important to me

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

i know I probably don’t seem it but i am an optimist. i like dark media but it needs to operate on the worldview that humanities nature is to help and support each other even if there’s individual shitty people and our society and situation is shitty. if there’s anything i can’t stand more in fiction it’s “ough nothing can change and everything sucks and there’s no point” like fuck that yeah the world is shit sometimes and sometimes you can’t fix things but there is always hope! there is always goodness and humanity and there is no such thing as a person beyond help, only people who refuse it. i’d take a million saccharine boring kids shows over that. it’s such a self destructive mindset that reminds me of how i feel when my depression flares up and it’s just… way more illogical than even the silliest power of friendship stuff. humanity survived because we by nature care for each other and work together. it is our inherent nature to form bonds and care. in this big beautiful world we came out on top because we love so strongly. the power of friendship is why humanity became dominant.

[ohwormwood]

breaking down over in stars and time's use of tarot cards

[woe, spoilers be upon ye!]

[no seriously, this contains spoilers for the entire game. proceed with caution]

BECAUSE IF I HAVE TO BE TORMENTED BY THIS KNOWLEDGE, THEN SO DO YOU.

Act 2

Six of Swords

Transition, change, rite of passage, releasing baggage

Siffrin is, in the start of Act 2, beginning a new journey. This card is pretty self explanatory, but also is a form of major foreshadowing. Six of Swords has a heavy implication towards evolving and bettering yourself as a person, going on a journey that is absolutely essential to growth. Whether or not this journey is at all pleasant is entirely left up in the air, but given the rest of the game, it’s more of an indication of hard-won lessons.

Siffrin asks “How does the boat not sink?”, which is kind of hilarious, given that they end up almost sinking into complete despair by the end of the game, only saved by getting help and changing, completing their journey and starting a new one.

The Star (Reversed)

Lack of faith, despair, self-trust, disconnection

Stars play a huge part in this game (it’s literally in the name), so this card felt kind of inevitable. The most important part of this card is that it serves as a sort of omen for what is to come. In Act 2, Siffrin is blissfully unaware of the overall impact this will have on his psyche, of the turmoil it will bring him. But the most important part of this card for me is the idea of loss of faith. The very first line in the reference site’s description is this; “The Star Reversed can mean that you’ve lost faith and hope in the Universe”. This is likely indicative of the gradual crumbling of Siffrin’s hope over the course of the game. The site also notes that “You may be desperately calling out to the Universe to give you some reprieve but struggling to see how the Divine is on your side”. Siffrin pretty much does this in the latter half of Act 3, as things become more and more hopeless. This is, for lack of a better term, a test of faith. Given how the Change God mocks Siffrin for the Universe never talking to them directly, this is nailed home pretty hard. But, in Act 2, a lot of the concept of The Universe and Wishcraft isn’t introduced, so this serves more as a premonition than anything else.

Another note: Loop. Loop is a star. Or ate a star. Either way, they have a deep connection with stars (and The Universe as a result). I bring this up because of the general meaning behind the UPRIGHT version of this card, which is a sign of hope, faith, and guidance. Loop serves this purpose throughout the game as Siffrin’s “helpful companion~”, so the connection here there is nice. But the entry states this; “When confronted with a challenging situation, you can either crumble like The Tower or stand firm in your conviction that the Divine is everywhere”. Because of the 2 Hats situation, we know that where Siffrin eventually overcame the challenges of The Star/The Universe, Loop did not. Instead, they made one last plea to the Universe for help, and The Universe listened. But we know the obvious twist of fate here is that Loop is literally helping themself by helping Siffrin. They gave in, crumbled, and lost their faith in the end, only to be the thing that helped Siffrin keep theirs and eventually free themselves. 

Ace of Wands 

Inspiration, new opportunities, growth, potential

Most of Act 2 Siffrin is spent with this idea in mind. At this point, Siffrin is pretty lax about the true meaning of the loops, believing them to be an opportunity to beat the king, each loop full of potential to achieve their goal. But the twist here is that for the Ace of Wands, there is always potential but never a guarantee of success. Siffrin experiences this first hand at the end of Act 2. 

Eight of Pentacles

Apprenticeship, repetitive tasks, mastery, skill development

Another nod to Siffrin’s frame of mind in Act 2. The slow mastery gained through the overall leveling system in the game actually accomplishes this card’s meaning pretty well- you repeat everything, over and over, and it is only when you master it that you are able to defeat the king. Siffrin notes a lot that in a couple of loops, he will likely be able to remember interactions by heart, and some he actually does recall completely, like when the very first interaction with Mirabelle in Dormont at the start of each loop. He’s essentially memorized the script, mastered the actions, the choreography, and now is faced with the fact that he has to do it over and over again. It will turn into monotony by proxy of being so familiar and easy. 

Siffrin also notes that “they seem happy to be working”, which is another nod to how he sees the loops towards the start of the game, less of a curse and more of a boon that requires effort to properly utilize.

Act 3

Two of Swords

Difficult decisions, weighing up options, an impasse, avoidance

There are a lot of hard choices to be made in Act 3, so this likely isn’t referring to any one instance. This is where the Eight of Pentacles card comes back into play, in a sense- there is still more to learn here, more to master, but a lot of that requires decisions that have greater weight than those in Act 2. People’s lives are at stake. However, it is only by doing this and making hard choices that Siffrin eventually learns more about Wishcraft and the way things work in the loops. 

Interestingly, when Siffrin describes this card, they describe someone holding scissors. An intersection of 2 blades, but the thing here is that no matter which side you’re on, they can still cut you. Alternatively, this could just be a representation that Siffrin, who is the main Scissors Craft user of the party, is the one stuck with these decisions. 

Six of Pentacles (Reversed)

Self-care, unpaid debts, one-sided charity

Siffrin is the king of never giving themself proper self care. They are also the king of tearing themselves apart to give everything they have to the party. They are willing to sacrifice everything they have for a “perfect ending” where everyone is happy… everyone but themselves, that is, because they do not receive the same fulfillment in return. They give and they give and they give, but the party does not give in return, not in the way they need. Not soon enough to prevent them from falling apart at the seams over it. 

The note here mentions that it shows “someone walking on the sky and offering flowers to sky people”, but then when flipped shows “the man is touching the ground, and giving flowers to normal people”. This kind of struck me as strange, as no matter what orientation the card takes, they will always have their feet on the ground. This also isn’t the last mention of sky people, but I haven’t really delved deep enough into theories about that to understand what that really means in the context of this card.

The Hermit

Soul-searching, introspection, being alone, inner guidance

Hilariously, this is something Siffrin completely lacks for most of the game. They avoid thinking about themselves and their own sense of self for a vast majority of their character arc, and it isolates them. While this card means well in its message of introspection, it’s also key to note that this withdrawal from the outside also can lead to being alone with your own thoughts, something that Siffrin experiences more as the game continues. And their refusal to acknowledge what they want almost breaks them. 

The loneliness aspect of this card is further hammered home by the fact that Siffrin says “they look sad and alone”.

Five of Wands

Conflict, disagreements, competition, tension, diversity

Misunderstandings and miscommunication is at the heart of this card. And oh boy, does Siffrin deal with a LOT of that in the loops. My brain immediately goes to the whole “touch therapy” arc and Siffrin’s refusal to clarify that they don’t dislike touch, which eventually leads to Memory of Touch. It’s also a bit of foreshadowing of what is to come, especially in Act 5 and the breakdown of the party’s trust in Siffrin because of their break in communication and understanding with each other. 

Siffrin asks “Why are they fighting?” when this card is drawn. The answer is that they don’t really understand themselves. This is conflict driven by a lack of communication and understanding of the other parties at hand. As the description for this card says, “No one is listening.”.

Act 4

Eight of Swords

Negative thoughts, self-imposed restriction, imprisonment, victim mentality

Act 4 starts with Siffrin experiencing quite possibly one of the worst endings to the loops he can imagine, so it’s safe to say that at this point, their deterioration is rapidly worsening. They begin to spiral, and the idea that there is no way out begins to appear. However, the main crux of this card’s significance is that there is a way out, but it lies in freeing oneself. There is a gap in the swords, and if one was to take off the blindfold they could get out. The description of this card calls this “imprisonment”, which ties in pretty nicely to one of the screens you can get when you loop back; “You are in a prison of your own making”. The description for the card also reads “You surrendered your power to an external entity, allowing yourself to become trapped and limited in some way. You may feel that it isn’t your fault – you have been placed here against your will”. This is heavy foreshadowing for the idea that Siffrin’s own wish to The Universe that got them trapped in the loops, not the wishes of The House or The King. 

Siffrin asks “Why is he alone?” when drawing this card, which kind of projects onto themselves. They feel alone, they feel trapped, and they believe that there is no one who can help them, but that isn’t true. They have the ability to change things, but they are afraid. 

Ten of Swords (Reversed)

Recovery, regeneration, resisting an inevitable end

There are good aspects to this card, but the main focus in this case is likely the idea of resisting the inevitable. This is pretty much what the whole deal with the Head Housemaiden is, the repeated attempts to find some way to change something that, by the nature of the wish, cannot be changed. And yet, Siffrin is unable to let go of this. It’s also noted that this card represents past trauma that is still being carried around and still hurts the bearer. Siffrin spends this Act searching into their past, tearing up painful memories (or lack thereof) in the process. They carry the burden of being without a true geographical/cultural home to go back to. They cannot let go of this, nor do they want to. But the card’s description notes that “these old pains need to be dealt with once and for all. It may be difficult to delve back in, but it's the only way to release yourself of this pain and allow it to pass from your life”. In a lot of ways, this nods to the avoidance of pain that Siffrin displays when they are unable to cope with their trauma from the past and the loops. It is only through promising to tell the party their wish and deal with the pain and fear of their trauma that they can move on and begin to heal. This card pretty much represents the whole crux of the story’s meaning. 

Five of Pentacles

Financial loss, poverty, lack mindset, isolation, worry

Loss is a major theme of Act 5. The loss of memories, the loss of a home, the loss of faith, and, perhaps most importantly, the loss of hope. The card’s description says “You no longer feel safe because it has all been stripped away from you in one blow”, and this is pretty much what happens. Siffrin is in a crisis. They are exhausted, they are alone, and they are profoundly terrified of what that means. At this point, they are searching for help desperately, but are unable to ask for it. This card explicitly deals with fear of rejection and reaching out for help- the situation is dire, but, as seen with the card’s depiction of lit church windows, there is help nearby. The issue is that one must be willing to accept it. There is fear that you may lose something important- in Siffrin’s case, his found family- but there is no telling if that will actually come to pass. 

To further nail the loneliness aspect of this card home, Siffrin says that the figures on the card “probably don't have any friends”, something he starts to believe in the latter loops as the group loses their identities to the script. The in-game card also is different from the real card, and is said to show empty glasses, a pretty on-the-nose reference to Siffrin’s “glass half empty” mentality as they lose hope later in the game.

The Hanged Man

Pause, surrender, letting go, new perspectives

The Hanged Man gets a pretty bad reputation if you don’t really understand what it means. It’s a card about acceptance, pausing, and entering a new phase in life. But this change is heavily implied to come via unfavorable circumstances, situations outside of one’s control. The description says that when a person is unable to pause when they need to, unable to stop their actions, “The Universe will probably put things on hold for you, in the form of continued obstacles, ill-health, and breakdowns”. And this is pretty much what happens in Act 5. Siffrin is ground to a screeching halt by their own body, exhausted, starving, and mentally/physically fatigued to the point of actual sickness. On the topic of “surrender” and “giving in”, things get more pointed. Siffrin gives in to Mal Du Pays (very ‘L'appel du Vide” style), almost dying as a result, but then conversely gives in to the party’s urges to tell them what they wished for, to let go of their fear and stop looping. 

Siffrin notes that the Hanged Man “Look(s) like they're about to die, but they're smiling”. This is more of a connection to the end decision of Siffrin to let go of the loops and tell the party about their fears. They are facing down something that they are terrified of, something seemingly insurmountable, but rather than continue to fight and avoid letting go like Loop did, he instead chooses to surrender and tell the party.

Act 5/6

The Fool 

Beginnings, innocence, spontaneity, a free spirit

There are two versions of The Fool, technically. In Act 5, if you take the card and inspect it immediately, Siffrin will give a manic laugh and tear it to pieces. In a lot of initial interpretations of the card, some people will assume The Fool to be what the card says they are- a fool, someone stupid and tricked and hopeless, about to send themselves to their doom. But the reality is that this card is not really about that- it’s about new beginnings and the start of a new journey, but specifically through a leap of faith- a leap of faith that Siffrin has to take at the end of Act 5. While he is going through The House during this act, however, he is unwilling to accept this advice, either because it is misinterpreted or consciously, and instead tears it apart.

When the card is examined after the game, rather than during the final loop, Siffrin seems to recognize the card for what it actually means. He says “It's a traveler. He seems to be starting a new journey”. Siffrin’s title in the Profiles is literally “The Traveler” (alongside having the Traveler’s Hat), so this is a direct statement of new beginnings for the party and Siffrin’s life, a new journey they are taking with their family rather than alone. 

-

annnnd that does it for me, i've spent no less than two hours writing and researching for this post so ima go take a nap now, gnight

[cakesandfail]

Do you believe that the situation with trans rights in Britain is hopeless? I'm Australian but Britain means a lot to me, and I feel despair easily. I know all about the Cass report and everything else. One British mutual thinks that Labour and Keir Starmer might be better than they seem once they get in, or at least lobby-able, after seeing their immediate U-turn on anti-Semitism after voting Corbyn out (she's Jewish). But part of me's scared that it's false hope.

No, I don't think it's hopeless, and here's why:

The majority of British people aren't transphobic.

A lot of people aren't very knowledgeable about gender identity or the process of transitioning, and a lot of people aren't aware of whether they even know any trans people, but the really vicious stuff is very much an issue with the government and the media here. If you ask the average British cis woman whether a trans woman should be using the ladies loos, she'll give you a funny look and go "...yeah, obviously?" For the most part, people here think transitioning is your own personal business and they don't really care about how/when/why you're doing it.

A great deal of the transphobia being peddled by the UK media is coming from white, middle-class, heterosexual cis women who think that misogyny is the only form of oppression because that's the only one they have personally experienced. Those women aren't exclusively bigoted towards trans people- the COVID-19 lockdowns showed that when they all started kicking off about how they should still be able to force their cleaners to come to work- but essentially the only women with enough social capital to break through into traditionally male-dominated areas like politics and journalism LOVE to pull the ladder up behind them, set it on fire, and then stomp on the fingers of anyone who tries to follow them anyway. They are not representative of the wide variety of people in this country, in either their identity or their opinions.

I will say that I don't entirely trust Labour on this given Starmer's willingness to engage with all the "but what is a woman?!?!?" bullshit and the fact that Rosie Duffield is still in the party despite her blatant transphobia. But yes, some of them are potentially open to political pressure that the Tories wouldn't be. It's very much a 'lesser of two evils' situation.

I wish things were better. We're due to have a general election by the end of the year and I don't feel particularly good about voting for anyone who has a hope in hell of forming a functional government, on this issue or any others. But the kind of people you meet on a day to day basis are far better than the ones who run the place would have you believe.

[danosrosegarden]

NSFW Alphabet - Angel!Edward Nashton

Contains: headcannons about my version of Edward Nashton from the "Angel" series!

Note: I've never done a NSFW alphabet yet! I hope you enjoy this little preview of what's to come in future chapters. ;-)

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

The aftercare is mostly focused on him. He needs to be held, needs to be told he did so, so good for you. But rest assured, he'll do whatever to make sure you're comfortable. You just have to let him know what you need.

B = Body part (their favorite part of their body and also their partner's)

Angel Eddie likes to pick himself apart until he's nothing but raw bones. A favorite part of himself? He loathes most all of it. He supposes he can appreciate his hands, though. They're nice and veiny. On you? Oh, how could he choose? If you've got tits, he can't get enough of touching them, resting his head on them, squeezing the squishy flesh. He's also a big thigh fan. He likes to run his hands along the soft, plush skin. Just to feel your warmth provides him an immense amount of comfort.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum basically)

Angel Eddie is obsessed with cumming inside of you. Not only does it feel incredible, but he loves to pull out and watch his warm cum drip from you. It's such a gorgeous sight for him.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He gets off on getting jealous. To know other people have had you before both gets him fuming and serves as furious masturbation material.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?)

No experience. He masturbates constantly and watches an unhealthy amount of porn (even though he despises it. He stops watching it completely when you come into the picture), but he's never had the opportunity present itself.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Angel Eddie loves watching you ride him. It's such a breathtaking spectacle, watching your hips swivel and buck.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous?)

Sex is a very serious thing for Angel Eddie. He's never trusted anyone like this before. It's going to take him a long while to loosen up and have fun with it.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they?)

The carpet matches the drapes here, baybee. He doesn't care too much about trimming himself, and he doesn't care about your hair situation, either.

I = Intimacy (the romantic aspect)

He's such a hopeless romantic...maybe even a little unnervingly so. He'll grip your hips with trembling hands and spit about how you're his, his, only his.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcannon)

All. The. Time. You'd think it would get better when you come into the picture, but he actually does it even more (take it as a compliment...the memory of you is his fuel!). Definitely at least once a day, and many times it's more.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

I could make a whole other post about this one! Angel Eddie is a major sub. He loves doms who are just a teensy bit mean to him. He also loves overstim and lovebiting.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He's not sharing, so don't even think about doing it in public. Nobody else gets to enjoy you once you're together. It's only happening behind closed doors. However, he's down for any room in the apartment. The bedroom! The bathroom in the shower! On top of the kitchen counter! The possibilities are...not endless, but there's a few.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Like I mentioned before, learning about your past as a sex worker gives him something to prove. He feels as though he has to prove he's better than anything your clients could've dreamed of offering you.

N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn offs)

No threesomes. He is absolutely not down for sharing.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He prefers to give. Not that he doesn't adore receiving, because he sure does. But lord, how beautiful you sound when he's swirling his tongue around you. How gorgeously in tune those groans come pouring out from your mouth. He may not be the best at first, but he's a quick learner. He memorizes the moves and swipes that make you twitch and saves them in the back of his mind.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)

Usually slow and sensual. The pace is really up to you. If you want him to give you something rougher, he's incredibly nervous, but he really just wants to please you however he can.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often)

Not a fan. He wants quality time with you.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks?)

He's down to experiment, but he would prefer if you were the one making decisions for him.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

You might think he'd cum the instant he gets inside of you...but when he masturbates, he likes to edge himself all the time, sometimes denying himself of an orgasm altogether. So, he can last for as long as you need him to.

T = Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Angel Eddie loves toys, especially if you're using them on him. Peg him, stroke him, place a little bullet vibe on his sensitive nipples. He goes crazy for it all.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He doesn't really like teasing you. If you're the one teasing him, though? Oh, yeah. He likes that quite a bit. Yes, he needs constant reassurance. But he also loves getting humiliated and made to feel like a freak (only by you).

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make)

Loud boy. High pitched whimpers and whines, always begging for just a little bit more.

W = Wild card (a random headcannon for the character)

He's similar to most of the Eddie's on this site in that he's an underwear thief. He likes to wrap them around his own throbbing cock while he strokes himself (he's thinking about you, of course).

X = X-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)

Angel Eddie is smaller than average. You, of course, have no problem with his size...you just want him.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

So high. He wants it constantly. But he would absolutely never pressure you into sex if you didn't want it. You're usually the one initiating it, anyway.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He's a sleepy guy. He wants to receive and give aftercare, but after he checks that you're all comfortable and feeling good, he's conked out. Sleep well, nasty little perv. <3

[multiplicity-positivity]

what the fuck am i meant to do if being a system is still completely miserable. i've tried so fucking hard to get anything out of this and i'm sick of it. i'm sick of seeing how so many years of effort has amounted to absolutely nothing no matter what approach i take when someone who has known for like a month is happier about this than i am. i'll probably be dead before i get anything positive out of this whatsoever

hey, thank you so much for reaching out to us. we’re sorry to hear that you’re struggling so much and system life has been difficult for you. we’re not sure what you’re looking for here, be it some advice, encouragement, or just a listening ear. we do have some words for you, but we’re putting them under a cut in case you don’t want to hear any advice/encouragement and were just looking to vent (which is always welcome here, by the way).

okay first, we’ll say that we know it’s difficult, but comparing yourself to other systems is only going to cause you more pain and strife in the long run. every system is different. every system’s personal journey is unique. and just because some systems are able to get along perfectly with excellent communication after only a couple months of trying… that doesn’t mean every system can or should function that way.

if it’s any consolation, our system also struggles a lot due to our plurality. we have parts who fight, communication can still be difficult to manage, balancing everyone’s interests and desires can be overwhelming, and dealing with dissociation and cptsd symptoms on top of everything else makes life often feel abysmal and hopeless. it took us years to achieve the level of communication and comfort with each other that we have today, and even then, we’re not exactly stable. we can assure you, you’re not alone in feeling like you’ve made no progress with your system. there are lots of folks out there who have been in your shoes, or are currently dealing with similar situations.

for many, many systems, especially those of us with dissociative disorders, life is very hard. learning to accept your plurality is hard. learning to cope with your trauma history is hard. learning to communicate and get along with your alters is hard. it’s all extremely difficult, and you are absolutely owed a bit of credit.

you’re here. you’re alive. that is a major accomplishment! and we’re very proud of you for making it this far.

also, you’ve been trying. you’ve spent years attempting to make progress. that also counts for something - your efforts deserve to be recognized, even if you feel like they have been fruitless so far.

recovery is a very long process. we’re not sure if you’re in therapy, but if you’re going at it alone, it can be a monumental task and often feel impossible. and when you’re in the thick of it, it can be quite difficult to see the progress you’ve made, or feel like anything has changed at all. we don’t know you personally, but it could be that you have made progress - it’s just hard for you to recognize or see it at this time.

if anything, know that we see you. we recognize your efforts and while we cannot understand the unique pain you’re going through, we sympathize and have seriously struggled ourselves. even if you really have made absolutely no progress, we have faith in you and we know that it won’t always be this way. please don’t give up. please keep trying. and look after your mind and body too, while you’re at it.

we believe in you. we’re wishing you and your whole system the very best with healing, building communication, and founding positive, happy, healthy relationships. and if you never get there, know that you are still deserving of love and acceptance just the way you are. we seriously hope that you can find that, friend.

[southeastasianists]

Jo is the holder of a newly minted degree in English literature from one of the top universities in Laos. But the 22-year-old, who graduated only weeks ago, says he already feels "hopeless".

Confronted with a barren job market, the Vientiane resident holds no hope of finding work at home, and instead aims to become a cleaner or a fruit picker in Australia. His aspirations are low, but they reflect a hushed disenchantment spreading among his peers; the result of a severe and sustained economic downturn that has ravaged Laos for the past two years.

"Every person in this generation doesn't believe in the government. They want to leave Laos, they don't believe anything the government says," he tells the BBC. "Most of my friends have the same thoughts, but we only talk about it privately. If you say bad things about them in public, I don't know what will happen."

The economic crisis has been caused by a rash programme of government borrowing used to finance Chinese-backed infrastructure projects which has begun to unravel. The crisis shows little sign of easing, with public debt spiralling to unsustainable levels, resulting in government budget cuts, sky-high inflation and record-breaking currency depreciation, leaving many living on the brink in one of South East Asia's poorest countries.

Faced with a dire economic situation, and with the April shooting of activist Anousa "Jack" Luangsuphom underscoring the brutal lengths authorities in the one-party state will go to silence calls for reform, a generation of young Laotians increasingly see their future abroad.

"[Young people] aren't even thinking about change, it's a feeling of how am I going to get out of this country - I'm stuck here, there's no future for me," said Emilie Pradichit, a Lao-French international human rights lawyer and the founder of human rights group Manushya Foundation.

"If you see your country becoming a colony of China, you see a government that is totally corrupt, and you cannot speak up because if you do you might be killed - would you want to stay?"

The 'debt trap'

A sparsely populated, landlocked country of 7.5 million people, Laos is one of the region's poorest and least developed nations. In a bid to transform the largely agrarian society, the past decade has seen the government take on major infrastructure projects, mostly financed by historic ally and neighbour China - itself on a lending spree since 2013 as part of its global infrastructure investment programme, the Belt and Road initiative (BRI).

Laos has built dozens of foreign-financed dams to transform itself into the "battery of South East Asia" as a major exporter of electricity to the region. But oversupply has turned many dams unproductive, and the state electricity company sits in $5bn (£4.1bn) debt. Lacking funds, Laos handed a majority Chinese-owned company a 25-year concession to manage large parts of its power grid in 2021, including control over exports.

Also among the debt-laden megaprojects is the Lao-China railway, connecting Vientiane to southern China. It opened in December 2021 at a cost of $5.9bn (£4.85bn), but saddled the Lao government with $1.9bn in debt. Beijing says the railway has created an "economic corridor", but the numbers just don't add up for some economists, not least because Chinese state-owned companies hold a 70% stake.

"I'm sure people are happy to travel very quickly across Laos, but it's not justified at the cost that was agreed to," economist Jayant Menon, a senior fellow at ISEAS-Yusof Ishak Institute in Singapore, says of the railway.

All of this has added to Laos' ballooning debt, which is now ninth highest globally as a share of its GDP, according to the International Monetary Fund. Around half of that is owed to China, and Laos is now having to borrow more from lenders in the country just to stay afloat.

"Laos is so heavily indebted to China that their negotiating position is compromised," he said. "It's having to borrow just to service the debt. That's the definition of a debt trap."

The Lao government could not be reached for comment. But Mr Menon emphasised that Laos has repeatedly rejected other international lenders in favour of Beijing, perhaps because of a belief within the government that China "will not let another socialist country fail". He added that Beijing was also cautious about letting another BRI country default on its debt after Sri Lanka.

The only thing currently preventing that outcome are repeated Chinese debt deferment agreements - the conditions of which remain highly opaque. This has raised concerns over Beijing's growing sway over Laos. When asked if Laos is at risk of becoming a vassal state, Mr Menon said "that ship has sailed".

He said that the "macro-instability" caused by "massive debt accumulation" has also caused the decline of the Lao currency, the kip, which continues to depreciate to record lows against the US dollar. This has led to a decades-high rise in prices, and nowhere is this being felt more acutely than among ordinary Laotians.

'If I don't fight, I'll die'

"'I have never experienced anything like this year," says Phonxay, a frail looking woman in her 60s, selling household staples at a food market in Vientiane. She said her customers are buying less because "prices go up day to day", adding that August was the most expensive month yet. Her family has had to adapt to survive.

"My family needs to eat more cheaply than ever before. We eat half of what we used to eat," Phonxay says. "But I'll fight until the end. If I don't, I'll die."

But it's young Lao, their futures mortgaged off for the benefit of infrastructure projects offering them few tangible opportunities, that will bear the brunt of the economic crisis for years to come.

"Lao is very good to travel, but not good to live in," says Sen, a 19-year-old working as a receptionist in a hotel in Luang Prabang in northern Laos.

The city is bustling once again, with its Unesco World Heritage Old Quarter of pristine French colonial-era buildings filled with tourists. But Sen says times remain tough: "For normal people like me it's very hard. It's just better than living as a homeless person in India, and maybe just better than North Korea. I'm serious, we're just trying to survive."

He earns just $125 per month at his hotel job, but he doesn't see any point in going to university or applying for government jobs as he'd have to "pay lots of money" to corrupt officials to get anywhere as he has no family connections.

"At the moment, almost every Lao student like myself doesn't want to go to university," he says. "They study Japanese or Korean and then apply to work in factories or farming in those countries."

It's this "sense of discouragement among Lao youth… that needs urgent attention," says Catherine Phuong, the deputy resident representative at the UN Development Programme in Laos. She pointed to the "staggering" NEET (not in education, employment or training) rate of 38.7% among 18-to-24-year olds - by far the highest in South East Asia.

"We're especially concerned in Laos that with the debt situation we are seeing reduced investment in the social sector, including health and education," she told the BBC. "I'm sure you can imagine the impact that will have on this generation, not just in the coming years, but in the next 10 to 20 years."

But with the Lao People's Revolutionary Party, which has ruled the country since 1975, intolerant of dissenting voices, young people have had to turn to social media to air their grievances.

It was in March 2022, as inflation and the cost of living began rising, that Anousa "Jack" Luangsuphom created Kub Kluen Duay Keyboard or "The Power of the Keyboard", one of a growing number of social commentary Facebook pages critical of authorities.

The 25-year-old was drawing tens of thousands of followers when he was attacked at a cafe in Vientiane on April 29. CCTV footage shows a masked man firing a bullet into Jack's face and chest. A police statement days later blamed a business dispute or lover's quarrel. Jack survived the attack, but for his followers, the culprit was obvious.

"I feel really bad that the government would shoot him, that they would try to control us like that," says Jo, the university student in Vientiane, who follows Jack's Facebook page. "Jack is the voice of Lao people, he said things that normal people are afraid to say."

But these calls for reform will only be ignored or suppressed, and few know this better than Shui-Meng Ng - the wife of disappeared Lao civil society advocate Sombath Somphone.

Sombath has not been seen since being detained by police in Vientiane in December 2012, a time when his influence was growing and there was hope of reform.

Speaking to the BBC from her craft shop in downtown Vientiane, the last place she saw her husband the day he was abducted, Shui-Meng said voices like Jack's and Sombath's are squashed because they grow "too big a following" at times when the "Lao political elite are facing difficulties".

"Every time something like [Jack's shooting] happens, you see this," she said, zipping her lips. "People go silent."

[thewaywardcasgirl]

Major my stand in spoilers ahead

this is just me rambling not a detailed analysis

ok i just finished reading my stand in's novel and i like the novel much better, more realistic when it comes to family dynamics, so far (ep 1-2) we see ming's sister being sweet and nice but in the novel she is a raging homophob and so so immature and selfish, the rest of the family is even worse, the meek mother the abusive father and the couldn't care less grandpa, i hate them all (maybe not the mother), except his older brother who truly loves ming and helps them both so much, they have shaved a lot of the novel but i really hope they don't flip on the brother, also wanna see the joe seeing his own corpse scene and ming sitting there listless like a widow but idk if they'd show that in all its written glory (it was much darker and surreal)

the novel is so painful i had to take lots of breaks and also cried a little at few dialogues (and I don't do that often) one thing i really loved in the novel is that once these people pull their heads out of their asses they start to TALK they actually have lengthy conversations about all their feelings and history and everything is revealed at a good pace, not all at once and not never, even ming falling for joe first and mistaking it for tong is something ming realises a lot earlier after the rebirth but only tells joe when he's really desperate,

joe and ming find their way back to each other through a lot of pain and suffering but mostly by PROCESSING, they process their feelings and emotions , sometimes togather sometimes on their own, so I really loved the open communication part not just between the couple between all the characters and their interpersonal dynamics, and it also gave me wangxian vibes albeit a little toxic and twisted as in once joe's rebirth is revealed to ming he's ready to move heaven and earth to keep him by his side this time, he goes against everything and everyone even sometimes joe but it's all very strategic yet open and honest between the couple, ming flips 180 and redeems himself good no matter what's thrown his way, joe forgives him and also stands firm by his side of his own volition

in the middle when joe is reborn and still get's entangled in the entertainment industry i wanted him to just take his (new) mom and run, run far away to some other city find any other work but by the end of the novel I'm convinced satisfactoryly👍 imho ming's mother can be easily forgiven, and the grandpa can live, the father (abusive bastard) im on the fence for but the sister and tong uff they're a hopeless case (and it's pretty realistic so i liked that too)

i just wanna reiterate how real theses characters are, no one is overly noble or easily redeemed just like that, they all have their flaws and accept them and try to make the best of an impossible situation

also the novel takes time to really explain the whys of the story as in why it had to happen that way so that you are convinced that yes it was always going to happen that way, each and every characters actions, reactions, motifs, are all so well explained and understandable 🤌 it's been a long time since i read such mature story and such well fleshed out and understandable characters

[marshmallowprotection]

I'm replaying ray's after ending rn, and I'm not sure if anyone else feels this way, but I forgot how much it frustrated me. I just finished day 2 and from mc getting turned in through to the end.. I understand why the rfa couldn't communicate the plan through the messenger and all, but if I were in the situation irl, I would've reacted with a lot of anger. I would hate being lied to and left in the dark, and I'd be hurt about not getting to actually help until the last minute. I feel like locking mc in a closet until saeyoung was freed wouldn't change the plot significantly at all. As much as I want to live that happily ever after with saeran, this would put a bigger strain on the relationship than anything else that happened in his route. After making sure everyone was safe, I would really need some space, and it would take a long time to rebuild my trust in everyone. I'm curious about if anyone relates to this, and how you think saeran would react

For me personally, I wasn't upset. I understood why they had to do what they did to guard all the information. We're fighting the literal Prime Minster of their entire country, on top of a secret agency the likes of which none of us can begin to comprehend because as the players, we might see more than the MC does, but even we have it limited in terms of knowing what they're capable of.

One little, tiny whisper is all it could've taken for this operation to blow sky high in seconds.

Does that mean you're not allowed to be angry? Oh, no. You are very rightfully allowed to be angry and upset at them for doing what felt like the safest option in the heat of the moment. They lied to you and made you feel like everything was lost. You're trapped in a house with Rika, V, and an unconscious Saeyoung who you just watched beg like a dog to make them stop it. You are distressed and afraid. You haven't a clue what's happening. You are living in dread until they can tell you what's going on.

Now, you can call the RFA members as this is happening and if you do so, they will tell you there's more going on but they can't say a lot to you. They lied in the chatroom because that's not safe. Saeran is fighting for his life to make a secure phone channel to prevent that horrible outcome from happening when the agency tanks all of you with one false blow. I do not mince words when I say they weren't in the right to scare you, but they had to lie to save all of you.

Saeran is not the kind of person to condone lying.

He was angry that Vanderwood tricked you both. He was upset but he knew he couldn't do anything about it. He had to save you and do the best he could, and that's why we don't hear from him right away. He knew you would be safe as long as he kept working his ass off the rest of the night. They couldn't hurt you if they wanted him.

He had to have faith in that for your sake... for Saeyoung's sake.

I think we all understand that but it doesn't change how much it might hurt some of you, yourself included, Anon. They did that in the hopes it was the best they could do to protect you because it was all they could do in the moment. That was their option with the choices given to them. They didn't do this to hurt you intentionally, and that is the part that makes it easy for me to forgive them.

Does that mean it was okay to subject you to stress?

No!

By all means, communicate how much it hurt you because they need to know that! They didn't meant to do that! They're your friends and they would want to make this right with you! It doesn't have to be a major problem because they want to make it right! They want to do right by you!

I, personally, can't be upset with Saeran because he didn't choose to separate from you. He didn't want to lie to you. He had no choice. He had no choice but to work through the night and pray the RFA had a way of trying to gentle reassure you it was a "lie" over the phone by a coded message of "it seems hopeless but we'll try." He trusted them while he grinded his fingers to dust with the help of the team Jumin scrambled to put together after being ousted from C&R.

He apologizes, over and over, because he knows what's happened to you, his brother, and everyone you two care about. He didn't want it to go this way. He didn't want to hurt you or put you in danger. All he ever wanted was to live peacefully with you. If you're upset with him because you were lied to about this, he'll understand. If you're upset because he tried to throw his life away to save you, he'll understand.

God, this is a character who understands and wants to do the right thing. He wants to learn and be better!

Communicate this with Saeran!

Express the pain with Saeran!

He won't be upset that you're upset!

He'd rather you be honest with him!

Don't lie to his face and say it's okay if it's not okay!

You can work with him on this, just like the RFA.

[msmargaretmurry]

WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED in talking more about HAW Quinn (/ or &) Brady?

I get the feeling that Brady's marriage is shifting the overall fandom interest in that pairing but... I'm still holding on!

oh, the marriage will not stop me from shipping!! like obviously in real life i am thrilled for brady and emma and hope they have a lovely happy life together, but in my mind palace of fictional fanfictions i will continue to put those nice young men in friends-to-lovers situations as much as i want. so obviously i would love to talk more about HAW quinn and brady.

a friend came over to hang out yesterday and we were talking about HAW, and she said that she really loved the are-they/aren't-they of brady and quinn throughout the story, which made me quite happy — obviously the answer is they're not, but i did write them the way i did hoping people would read it and be like 👀 ARE they though?? haha. the layers of their relationship i think helped give them depth as background characters, even if the majority of it stayed in my head and never got to the page. one of my goals as a writer is always to try to make my secondary characters still feel like fully fleshed out characters, and having a strong sense of their feelings and wants and needs, for me, is key to having their behavior feel autonomous and not just in service of the plot. even if it is ultimately in service of the plot 😂

one of my favorite kind of subtle moments in HAW is the part when matthew is thinking about the casual homophobia he internalized at the ntdp and then is like, and then brady went to the program and came home thinking having a gay friend would be super cool. and it's never said explicitly, but like… quinn came out to brady while they were in the program. obviously brady's going to come home thinking that! he thinks having a gay friend is cool because his gay friend is his favorite person!

on the quinn front, the best part about writing the quinn pov flip for me was finally getting to explore quinn's brady feelings. they're not completely invisible in HAW, but obviously matthew's pov is so limited and biased, and also quinn's pretty good at keeping his feelings close to his chest. but poor buddy is so in love with brady. i knew this the entire time i was writing HAW; it's so important to how quinn is as a character. he's so in love with brady, and he knows nothing is ever going to come from it. he's not broken-hearted about it; he came to terms with the hopelessness of those feelings years ago. he doesn't hold it against brady, and he's not carrying this torch hoping one day brady will turn around and want him, and he's mostly not closing himself off to other romantic opportunities because of his brady feelings. he's just in love with brady, and that's part of him. ninety-nine percent of the time he's very logical and level-headed about it, but then there's that one percent of the time — like when he's drunk at the all-star game, and brady is being particularly affectionate, and also brady is relying on him and trusting him with this big scary matthew problem — that the feelings sneak through and he can't help yearning just a little bit.

anyway, i do have a truckload of thoughts about what their future is going to be in the HAW universe, but i'm keeping those close to my chest right now. sorry 😂❤

[greateasternj69]

While Ruleton was speaking in his office on the phone negotiating with the BR locomotive department for the loaning of a DMU. Outside at the station's main concourse. A lone Class 47 wearing the livery of the Overhead yellow and orange with black cab windows and with the number DTO3 stood looking up at the windows to the offices from a vantage point at Platform three. With a long face he wondered how his manager was coping after the meeting with Alistair earlier. He had seen the staff who were with Ruleton earlier leave the offices for home earlier with looks of disappointment on their faces and uncertainty. To him they were the looks of hopelessness as a sign of them losing hope, and when seeing that losing of hope he immediately knew what the outcome of the meeting was, and it wasn’t in the railways favour. For as long as the 47 could remember since had arrived on the railway, he knew that Alistair had been cutting subsidies to his owners railway as part of his and his corporate partners intention to eliminate the cities public transport network having heard the rumours from the residence, and he had seen it all come true unfold before his very eyes. The overhead bridges and structures were in a desperate state of repair and could collapse at any moment, the carriage stock was broken and outdated, they were in short supply of locomotives due to his owner being unable to afford another one, and a lot of the railways staff had been laid off due to Ruleton being unable to pay, leaving them with only a few staff in each department left. Seeing that this last meeting had once again failed to turn things around for the better and get Alistair to see sense in his actions towards the railway. The 47 felt there was no hope for the railway to get out of its financial situation, and with the election coming up next month he knew the outcome would be in Alistair's favour, and he would go through with his intentions of cutting the final subsidies the overhead had been on life support on, finishing the railway off for good, and Highstruct would win. The sinking feeling of what will eventually happen, made him feel that his home, which had been the whole world to him, would finally come crashing down once Alistair put his plan after his reelection into action. He wished there was something he could do to help save the overhead and save his home. But he was afraid that he would only make the situation worse for the railway and his manager. Alistair most likely wouldn’t take his words seriously, as he saw his kind as nothing but an outdated piece of technology that was a relic of a bygone era that was now over, and were to be replaced by a technology that gave people the so-called freedom to go anywhere, and he believed was superior to them in every single way possible. Contrary to the truth that he and his friends, including his manager, saw in front of them with their own eyes, everyday. “I want to raise my voice and stand up to Alistair and show him the consequences his and his cronies' actions are bringing upon everyone in Tarmingham… But I might only make everything worse and no one will understand me or take me seriously anyway… There is nothing I can do to save my home, this railway…” the 47 said sadly to himself, as he lowered his eyes in sadness as he slowly rolled away back to the shed. Feeling that nothing could be done to save the overhead within the next month, and convinced that Alistair and HighwayStruct would finally win the battle. However, what he didn’t know was that the overhead’s situation was about to change for the better, and it would come with the DMU’s that Ruleton was about to meet and bring to his railway.

Another Illustration done for Chapter 1 of TFTTOH Book 1, this one is near to the end of the chapter where we're introduced to another major character in the story, Andrew the Class 47 who is standing at platform two at Tarmingham Piccadilly Street station looking hopeless after eavesdropping on the meeting between his railways owner Mr. Ruleton and the cities mayor Alistair Lancaster over where the funding for the overhead was going, with the outcome not being in the railways favour. With him being afraid about losing his home after the next election in which he fears Alistair is sure to win for sure and would cut the final subsidies from the railway afterwards, and wishes he could do something to help save it, but fears that he would only make the situation worse for the railway and his manager, believing no one will understand him. Convincing himself that Alistair and HighwayStruct will win for sure, little knowing that the railways situation is about to change for the better.

Tarmingham Overhead Railway and Characters: © GreatEasternJ69

[kingprinceleo]

BET YOU DIDN'T EXPECT ME SO SOON

I did the dessert vampires playlist first since it was the shortest!

Stampede- very good interplay with the characters. Gives the vibe of I respect you but we fundamentally disagree on some big issues. Would be fun to play in the background of like a joint operation scheme? like they've gone undercover at a fancy party and this is them working together during it

Vulture- this is such a Shadow backstory song like- i don't know exactly what happens with GUN and Maria in this au but THIS is the song you play to express his feelings. The first verse at least low-key also sounds like Knuckles during or immediately post transformation to Rouge. He's very angy

Welcome to the Circus- a jaunty little tune. bar/saloon coded, probably plays wherever Amy works i think?

Recommend songs for this playlist: Desperado by Rhianna and maybe the entire Anti album based on vibes alone.

Blood Like Lemonade- strong vibes

Trouble Valerie Broussard- more Rouge centric i think

For other playlists:

Like a Vampire Catrien Maxwell, for vamp au Sonic

A Little Wicked - im thinking of Rouge for it but if it fits a different character i wouldn't be surprised

Little Girl Gone Chinchilla - very vamp au Shadow coded imo

Eve Precious Pepala- Shadow coded

All up in your mind- feels like Shadow thinking about Sonic's effect on him in vamp au

Hope these are good and have a nice timezone 🫶🏽. I go to sleep now

~🩸🎵

welcome back fhbghbjfdfdg !!

This playlist is a little more tough to explain bc i havent shared the major plotpoint that changes the whole title of the au fjgfjghf, but ill get there eventually !! Stampede- idrk know how to explain this one beyond its just Them, their conflicts their compromises, how the two are trying to work together in the situation theyre in, big time agree on the respect with huge disagreements tho, thats one of their major sticking points Vulture- RAHHHHHHH THIS IS IS KNUCKLES @ SHADOW !!!!! the entire time its knuckles rage and defiance !!! and im slamming my head into a wall so fucking hard i prommy it makes so much sense when i share the plot Welcome to the circus- its a rouge @ knuckles song ! like i said the subject itself is kinda weak but it hits on some of their core dynamic pieces --- Desperado- this one i could see being very rouge @ shadow but its a bit too forward and honest ! rouge would defo more take the angle of "im following you bc ur hopeless without me <3" Blood Like Lemonade- strong vibes on its own but doesnt particularly fit with anyone at least right now, i might come back to it after fleshing more people out (also i am sadly biased against songs that are kinda slow sob. i need that constant stimulation music {i almost didnt include vulture in the playlist bc of its speed but it was just too accurate and picks up with some heavy hitting stuff near the end}) Trouble- very correct w the rouge part !! defo eying this one up in consideration

---

Like a Vampire- defo not vampire au sonic , it actually lines up more with desert vampires rouge (i adore the singers voice btw omg) idk if its going in any of the au playlists but it sure is going in mine ! dfhhdfhg A little wicked- shrug tbh ! i see it for rouge but it feels like its missing something, her spunk, her 4kids saxaphone (im assuming if you dont specify an au you just mean for the canon gamers !) Little Girl Gone- THIS IS SO VAMPIRE AU SHADOWCORE LITTLE UNHINGED BASTARD !!! the blood on my teeth line caught my attention....and then the screaming part sold me HDSHDHF hes sooo silly <333

Eve- im so sorry im really biased against love songs so i dont see it personally !! esp not for shadow </3 All up in your mind- eeh there are a few lines there that work, but overall just misses slightly. big fan of the idea that shadows just making up all those lines tho and sonics never said any of it, thats funny fdgjfjdgfg i feel bad for not enjoying all of them wahh, but i am just really picky tbh,,, its gotta bounce the braincell right... but i appreciate the suggestions sm!!!! tyyy!! have a good sleep !!!

[theupstairskid]

WeeWoo Show Speculation Post Pt 1

I'm just throwing all of my season 8 WeeWoo Show (9-1-1) speculation/questions in this post so I can get it out of my brain and try to be a normal, productive, person (press X to doubt). I hit the character limit with this so I'll have to make another part. It's really just for me but if anyone comes across this and gets something out of it, great!

Since Buck and Eddie are my favorite characters I imagine most of this will be about them. It is what it is. These are gonna get looooong.

I'm curious from a character perspective, not a shipping one, how Gerrard will affect Buck and Tommy's relationship. Because while Tommy is no longer under the thumb of Gerrard, Buck now is. And this will be Buck's first time experiencing Gerrard for himself and not just in the stories other people have told. And we know a lot about how Gerrard runs his stations based off of "Hen Begins" and "Chimney Begins." Let's be honest, Buck (and possibly Eddie but I'll get to that) will have it the easiest with Gerrard. Buck is a white man and can easily hide his bisexuality. In fact it would be very easy to throw a little biphobia in there if they wanted to (NOT SAYING THAT THEY WILL, honestly I hope not). Perhaps Tommy telling Buck something like, "You're bi, you still like girls. Just don't mention that you also like boys." And this is possible because yes, Gerrard saw them at the award ceremony, but we don't actually know if he explicitly found out the relationship between Buck and Tommy. Because, based on what Tommy said at the end of season 7, I think there's a chance Tommy's advice to Buck will just be to keep his head down and let others take Gerrard's ire. Which is basically what he did when he was at the 118. I'm not condemning it, I think-- for what we know of Tommy's character-- it's a logical thing to do. Especially when just by being who he is on the outside (white, male) and tucking away parts of him on the inside (gay) it was easier to deal with a shitty situation with a shitty person. But here's the thing, Hen and Chim can't hide parts of themselves to make them more palatable for Gerrard. Chim already tried for one, and even with him married to a white woman, I don't think it will make much difference considering the shade he threw at Gerrard during the awards ceremony. Hen will get it the worst (again). Hen can't hide that she's Black and that she's a woman. Even if Gerrard forgets that's she's a lesbian, her gender and her skin color are two major targets on her back. Plus there's no way Gerrard has forgotten WHO essentially got him removed from the 118. I think Tommy possibly telling Buck to keep his head down and not say anything will be a point of contention and a possible strain on their relationship. Tommy might even tell Buck to transfer to another station if getting Gerrard out of the 118 seems impossibly hopeless. Tommy only had a casual relationship with these people during his time at the 118, and even with his relationship with Buck and friendship with Eddie (and even Chim during the episode with Red) keeping him connected or bringing him back into the orbit of the 118, it's not a strong enough bond. Hen and Chim (and Bobby, and Eddie, and Ravi) are Buck's FAMILY. Family is everything to Buck, especially his chosen family (also Chim is his literal brother-in-law so we're also talking his actual family, not counting his relationship with Bobby) I think Buck is going to have a very hard time sitting on his hands and biting his tongue and NOT saying anything about how Hen and Chim are being treated. I think there's a possibility depending on how this plays out, that Tommy's history/response to Gerrard could negatively impact their relationship. Will it end in a breakup, I have no idea. Personally, based on what I've seen in official interviews, I don't think Gerrard will be what breaks them up but it will cause strain if they decide to go this route.

In another example of Eddie/Buck/Tommy triangle-ness, I think it would be really interesting if Eddie, who is Buck's BFF and also now experiencing Gerrard, is a counter-point to Tommy. I think Eddie (this is also depending on where he is mentally after Christopher's absence and if he's not taking time away to get his head right) would also have an easier time under Gerrard's rule. Maybe not as easy as Buck because he still is half Mexican, but ethnicity aside, he's still male, seemingly straight, a father, and an Army vet. It's a little harder for Gerrard to be awful to Eddie (I don't think he would want to touch the backlash that "harassing a decorated Army vet" would get him with a ten-foot pole, ESPECIALLY in the world of first responders. It would be career suicide and if he does have any involvement with the councilwoman that'd be even worse for him), so I think he'd probably go the route of ignoring Eddie altogether (I do think he would possibly take some potshots at him about the Chris situation but nothing that would jeopardize his position). I think where Tommy might possibly tell Buck to keep quiet, keep his head down, don't make it worse for yourself; Eddie would perhaps do the opposite. I think there's a good chance that Eddie would tell Buck to stand up for those being targeted by Gerrard and would perhaps throw himself right in there with him. They're not immune to Gerrard but might have a better chance of pushing back without major repercussions. Eddie knows how important family is to Buck, he's had 7 years to get to know him, and I think he would know that sitting idly by isn't something that Buck can do especially when he can protect his family. There's so many examples of when people thing Buck is being "reckless" what they're actually seeing is Buck being "protective." Going up on that crane and making himself a target for the sniper comes to mind. Buck isn't someone who does things by halves. I think Eddie might choose to stand with Buck or at least tell him to do what he thinks is right and that he'll support whatever decision he makes.

There's no real solid evidence to support this in canon, more of a personal observation but I feel like Tommy's just a more closed off, reserved person. I think he chooses to distance himself or withdraw when there's conflict and he's someone that always keeps a level head and never really let's anyone know how he's really feeling. Compared to Buck "heart on my sleeve" Buckly, I think Tommy being more reserved and less willing to "step in it with him" may come up at some point/cause strain on the relationship. Tommy doesn't feel like someone who shows himself fully and wouldn't give all of himself to someone else and I think that's going to feel strange to Buck. Not saying it's bad or criticizing, because I get it I can be very similar, but I think the level of commitment each side is giving and not being on the same page will come up.

I think commitment will actually come up a lot in s8. Especially committing when the chips are down and things seem impossible. Hen and Karen, Maddie and Chim committing to bringing Mara back to her family even when the odds are stacked against them. Eddie committing to Chris and being patient and waiting for Chris to come back instead of rushing to go get him. Eddie knows that now that Chris is in his parents hands, they could easily not give Chris back or could convince Chris to never come back to LA and live with them in El Paso permanently. Eddie will hopefully commit to himself and prioritize himself and his needs and wants. Commit to figuring out who Eddie is when everything else is stripped away. Bobby and Athena will commit to each other and commit to starting over again, picking up where they left off and committing to be stronger, a bond forged in fire.

Whether it leads to Buddie or not, I do hope we get queer Eddie in s8. I think it makes logical sense especially given Eddie's past issues with his relationships, the Catholic guilt, the repression. If this season is about Eddie figuring out who he is when he's just Eddie and no one else: not dad, not boyfriend, not son, not friend (if what was said in interviews about Eddie isolating himself is true) then I think it's a very logical place to go.

I think we've gotten confirmation that Gavin is coming back as Chris next season so I imagine we won't get Chris coming back until the midseason finale. Either in the last episode before the break or the first episode back. I can 100% see them making Chris' return dramatic and some kind of emergency but to be honest, I kind of hope that there's no issues with Eddie and Chris' reunion and that Eddie's parents don't complicate things

[thunderheadfred]

It’s my birthday so as a gift to myself I’m listing all my personal growth from the last few months

Lost 50+ pounds, well on my way to shedding 100+. Did this very simply with zero self-hatred or shame. Intermittent fasting and sugar elimination were pretty much the only requirements. Took time to adjust and a willingness to cook more, but that was the only struggle. In addition to the weight loss, my inflammatory and immune problems have been greatly improved. Chronic fatigue is still with me, but isn’t dictating every second of my day, and I hope CFS continues to diminish as I get healthier. Resources I used are now helping my dad reverse pre-diabetes, which is the cherry on top.

Went through perhaps the worst existential crisis of my entire life (and boy howdy, I’m well-rehearsed) and didn’t die. Didn’t die so hard I actually woke up from decades of numbness and changed my entire life almost overnight. This “instant” change was enabled by several years of work via intensive outpatient, group therapy, 1-on-1 therapy, medication, and deep interior work I’ve done on my neurochemistry and mental health. It feels like foundations were laid for me to finally take a huge forward step into hope and change. I finally let God back in, and have felt vulnerable, humbled, and vibrantly alive in a way I haven’t experienced since childhood.

Started re-exploring my own spiritual health, perhaps the most difficult and intense part of this transformation. Deeply personal, difficult to find words. No labels for it. See re-enrolling in college, below. Much to learn. Adjacent to this, have encouraged Catholic husband to join an inter-faith climate group, which he did. His parish church now looks likely to form their own climate support group in addition.

Re-enrolled in college for fall 2023. Built a 3-year interdisciplinary plan to graduate with a major in Dakota Language and American Indian studies, with minors in sustainable agriculture, art history, and art.

Became involved in local politics; I’ve personally met my senator and congressperson and thanked them for their work. They know me by name and I will continue to keep up with legislation on local and federal levels, vote in every election, and advocate for policies I believe in.

Started educating myself on the policies that have shaped our current situation. This is often overwhelming, and I remind myself constantly to do it in stages, to not burn myself out or get lost in anger and hopelessness. Nevertheless, it must be done. In particular, I’m finding Robert Reich’s free YouTube course invaluable for this, though it has made me cry several times. Labor movements are taking off across the country and this gives me immense hope that I’m far from the only one sharing in this experience. Millions of us are waking up to our own democratic power, and we can change things together, one step at a time.

Also started researching absolutely everything about reducing my personal carbon footprint, increasing self-sufficiency, and having at least some baseline readiness for disaster scenarios, a process that continues. Immediately stopped eating beef and pork (and most meat, actually), stopped purchasing things online and from big box stores (whenever feasible) and started walking to our local grocery co-op several times a week.

Encouraged husband to get involved in our HOA, a goal he’s had since we moved but was unable to make good on because of his work schedule (now blessedly changed) - we will soon be making a concentrated effort to meet all of our neighbors, initiate neighborhood gatherings, and encourage green initiatives in our immediate community.

Joined the local arm of 350.org. Have already done tabling and multiple advocacy campaigns. Husband is on the clean transportation team, focused on bringing electric school buses to schools. I’m on the food systems team, currently working on expanding our state’s farmer’s market SNAP program so more people have access to affordable local produce.

Expanded my patio garden to several raised planters full of herbs that I’ve been regularly using. A few things didn’t work out, but I’m learning what thrives in that location and have grown the most delicious tomatoes I’ve ever eaten, with basically zero effort. Working on a plan to build a small deer-proof Three Sisters food garden in our limited backyard space.

Started my basement cannabis grow tent, have two plants thriving and bringing me joy when I talk to them every day and tell them what lovely ladies they are.

Converted all our household power draw to sustainable wind (this took all of one phone call to our utility provider) and in a few days we will have meters installed on both our hot water tank and our air conditioner, so those are cycled during peak hours for even less energy consumption.

Started fishing together with one of my oldest childhood friends and my dad. Went from zero outdoors experience to learning how to hook minnows without flinching and hold a beautiful emerald-green bass in my hands. An amazing experience that will continue through the season.

[feministdragon]

Sasha Lilley:   Let me end by asking you about, how you think that radicals can help push things in a way that we can unstick the situation that we're stuck in. I mean the prevailing ideology, as you've described, is one of really of a hopelessness about any change beyond the present. The present is the best.

David Graeber: They cultivate a hopelessness. 

Sasha Lilley: Indeed. So how can we struggle against that hopelessness? And I don't mean in terms of a cheering squad. But how does one counter? How should radicals counter that ideological campaign, in a way that you think might be effective, shifting things in a different direction?

David Graeber:    We need to look at both what's happened in the past and also what's happening now. I really think that, if we can't know whether a good society is possible, it's better to like, live with hope, you know? I say it's a responsibility to others to do that. I go further. I think there is a responsibility, to actually look at the possibilities for improvement, and take the risk. It is possible.  But if you look around, what people do is the opposite. They look around, and they just can't believe that good things really are happening, when they are. An example: I always get, is Kurdistan, where I just got back from a few weeks ago.  (2018)

David Graeber: And this is where the YPG is fighting against against the remains of ISIS, and now against Turkey, which basically had been the sponsor of ISIS all along, but now kind of dropped the pretense and attacked them directly.  

Sasha Lilley:  and have embraced a radical ideology. Radical politics.

David Graeber: Yes. The philosophy which has largely developed, has emerged from the PKK and the sort of movements of women within the PKK challenged its old marxist ideology and gradually Ojalan, the sort of intellectual leader of the PKK, embraced this stuff and especially while he's been in prison, he's been reading a lot of Murray Bookchin and took up the ideas of social ecology, democratic confederalism, but doing a Kurdish version of that, with a very strong emphasis not just on ecology but on women's rights and replacing those proletarian revolutions as women's revolution.

Gender has to come first. So basically, when I was (unintelligible), people said quite frequently, it's that, well we're anti capitalists, but we've learned from the 20th century that you can't get rid of capitalism without getting rid of the state. And you can't get rid of the state without getting rid of patriarchy. How to get rid of patriarchy? It's going to be long and complicated process. But making sure all women have access to automatic weapons, that's a start. You know, all those images you see of women with machine guns, that's not a coincidence. So that's also not just like, oh, they're desperate to harm anybody. No, it's very, very self conscious feminist ideology going on there. And the fascinating thing to me is why, aren't people all over the world, saying “Oh my God, it's Spain 1930s all over again!” I mean, some are, right? But the reaction on the part of probably the majority of leftist organizations is “This can't be real. They're faking it. They're pretending to be like libertarian communists and eco-feminists, just to get our attention.” Which is of course, first of all, deeply racist. But even aside from that, I mean, it's like the most narcissistic, absurd position I ever heard. It's like “that's right. Really they are a bunch of stalinists. This is the line. But in order to get like Western left support they're pretending to be anarchists. Like sure. If I wanted to fake an ideology to get international support, I choose anarchism. That's going to happen! Total idiots.  If you’re going to fake an ideology you’re going to be liberal or an islamist, those kind of guns tanks and planes ideologies. But to show something about the sort of defeatism that people just can't believe it's really happening. 

https://kpfa.org/player/?audio=298917

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Hello! This is a request for a romantic male matchup (from star rail, and genshin), coming from a female requester. Pls feel free to ignore this request if it makes you uncomfortable.

Gender: Female

Heterosexual (afab)

Pisces

My pronouns are she/her. I am an adult. My height is 5'4. I am south asian, i have long dark brown wavy hair, my eyes are the darkest brown possible. I would say I have soft facial features.I am mostly thin, but I carry a lot of weight on my thighs, something I’m love and hate at the same time.I try my best to appear alert, but many times, I often zone out and look very clueless and blank, and have no idea what is going on. I am very shy generally, and I'm kinda awkward too. I care a lot about my close friends and would do anything for them. I am very soft spoken, and can be a doormat sometimes. It takes a long time for me to get comfortable with people, so I may seem boring at the start. I also dislike making the first move, as I’m utterly clueless on how to. I’m pretty lazy too, I can sleep for 2 days at a time. I also am a bit sensitive, if someone close to me does something, I get a little worked up over it. I tend to disassociate under tense situations. I have very few friends, as I cannot handle too many. I would also consider myself to be a hopeless romantic. 

I love shopping, jewellery, and perfume, though I’m broke (college is hard). I get flustered, really, really easily. 

Likes: I love making miniature things like miniature houses, buildings etc. I love watching ballet, though I could never learn ballet myself. I also love going outdoors. I also like hanging out with my friends, and sweets.

Dislikes: crowds, unhygienic surroundings are a major peeve, being left out, bland food, horror movies, really scary amusement park rides, being yelled at.

Love language:

Giving: all of them but mainly words of affirmation, quality time, and physical touch. I am pretty vocal about my love, and if I’m deep into the relationship, I tend to forget that there are people around who are being made uncomfortable by the pda.

Receiving: Anything is fine, as long as it reminds me that I’m loved.

I would like someone who will make the first move, and remind me that my love is reciprocated.

Thank you!

Hi Anon! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took so long. I hope you like your matchups!

In Honkai Star Rail, I match you with...

Sampo will definitely make the first move. He’s an outgoing person who isn’t afraid of trying to get what he wants.

It might take him a while to open up to the notion of reciprocated, unconditional love though. He’s been through a lot in his life so the idea that someone truly cares about him seems foreign to him.

Once he does get used to the notion that you care about him though, Sampo is going to do everything in his power to make sure you know how much he cares about you as well.

I see one of Sampo’s love languages as gift giving so expect lots of offerings of jewellery and perfume. Just don’t ask where he got them from. Sometimes, you don’t want to know the answer. Just know that he really does mean well.

Loves hanging out with you. He's particularly fond of going to food courts or restaurants with you since you both have a passion for food. He’ll hold your hand when you have to walk through crowds so you know you’re not alone.

In Genshin Impact, I match you with...

Itto’s another one who will make the first move. As soon as he knows he cares about you more than a friend (which might take a while), he’s going to tell you exactly how he’s feeling.

Loves your thick thighs! Not in any way other than, he thinks they’re just part of who you are. If you’re ever feeling self-conscious about them, he’ll be sure to tell you how much he loves them.

Itto does have a tendency to be loud so he might yell at you sometimes, but it’s never out of anger. When he does raise his voice it’s usually out of excitement but if that still makes you uncomfortable, he’ll do his best to keep the volume down.

Like Sampo, Itto is a big food enthusiast so he’s always on the lookout for new and interesting places to eat with you.

No need to worry about being left out with Itto around. He’s surprisingly in tune with people’s emotions, especially when they’re people he cares about so he’ll know if you’re feeling left out and do everything in his power to make you feel included.

[alyjojo]

Twin Flame 🔥 Journey - May 2023 - Gemini

Your Energy:

Justice - King of Cups - The World

Regarding: Page of Wands

I don’t see you as separated, but you want to be. You’re tired of this person and they drive you crazy, or the dynamic between you does. They could have an illness, or they’re taking care of someone with an illness. It adds a level of guilt to this connection because you just want to leave it and maybe can’t. You are internally conflicted and indecisive about how to handle this situation, but you want it to end, for good. Bye…see ya never. They make you very defensive. But you feel like you’re doing the right thing by cooperating with them, you could have a kid/s together for some. So you have to be nice, but you’d rather not, but you do because you’re a mature person setting an example for others. You have zero desire to reunite with this Twin, I don’t think you’d even see them as a Twin, they’re more like a thorn in your side or something. At least right now.

Their Energy:

8 Swords - 10 Pentacles - 9 Pentacles

Regarding: Temperance

Your person has issues. They’ve pulled greedy and forever young in their messages, Page of Cups comes out rev for them, this is a very emotionally immature person with a victim complex. They could be a true victim of some kind, 9 Wands shows pain, the battle weary warrior, particularly in regards to family. You came in while this person was broken, and have maybe dealt with some trauma instilled reactions and behaviors due to that. But you’re not a counselor (I assume), you can only do so much. It’s very difficult for this person to release and overcome what they’ve been through, and it’s hard for them to be alone. Could be financially, definitely emotionally, they could be very clingy in their behavior and generally insecure. They are healing, slowly but surely, and they’ve pulled Growth for their oracle, they aren’t hopeless. They’ve just gone through something major. If you’ve left them, that could be part of it, especially if it was sudden/unexpected with this Tower here. They either hold themselves back from a new beginning or they were forced into it quite suddenly and had a chaotic experience with all of this. Especially financially. They may have come after you for money, or have repeatedly tried to. This could also be someone that went through hell in a past relationship or marriage, that now refuses to commit, doesn’t split finances or do things “jointly”, their way of having healed is to worry about themselves and themselves alone. They see that as mature, you see it as immature.

Outcome for May:

5 Cups - King of Pentacles - Judgement

Regarding: 5 Cups

You’re moving on to someone else. I get that King of Cups is your Twin’s energy, and someone else is coming in for you that will make you much happier. If they haven’t already, this last section mirrors your own. Justice comes out in both parts as the right thing for you, a fair outcome, and this is a destined connection as much as your Twin is, they’re making romantic efforts towards you and this is your person. The right one 💯 You’re healing from the past connection, you’re probably still working out the hows and why things had to happen like abc, but they did, and more clarity will come to you as you heal. Or you’ll just stop caring, you can’t control other people and their decisions. This new person will make you hammer the coffin of this last connection shut. For good. Your Twin is very upset and jealous that you’re doing well, especially if it’s financially well. They’re a greedy individual, and they project their need onto you, which isn’t fair to you, no matter how gracious you are to them. If they’re paying child support, it burns their soul. They could see you as *their* possession, or once did, this person doesn’t let go easily 😬

Karmic Cards:

North Node - Aquarius - 11th House

- Have faith in your vision for humanity’s sake.

- Do not worry about what’s new and different about your hopes and wishes.

- Now is the time to use an unconventional way and do it for the future.

Oracles:

You: Wounds

Withheld support from the past can cause low self-esteem that cripples action.

Them: Growth

Feel open, willing, and proud of your desire to explore new opportunities for self-development.

Messages:

You:

- Sexually driven

- I just want to be alone.

Them:

- Greedy 🤑

- SCANDAL

- Forever Young

Possible Signs:

Every sign but Cancer

Heavy Scorpio, Libra, Gemini, Sag & Virgo

Charms:

Bunny 🐰 on Page of Wands shows some of you having kids with this person, that’s what keeps you tied together, having to communicate and somewhat be involved with their drama. Some of you have just known this person since childhood. This can be saying your communication may be childish, there’s a stalking energy here, you’re very indecisive with this person but you kinda fan the flames too.

Rose 🌹 on Growth shows this person is not as trapped as they think they are, or unable to get out of a bad situation. Counseling could be good for them, they need someone impartial that’s not you, there’s a energy with them like they’ve gone through hell. Idk if that’s with you or otherwise, but they will be okay. Better even.

4 Leaf Clover 🍀 on 11th House shows you having very good connections and friendships in your life, they could have opportunities for you or good advice. You may try to be this person’s friend and still support them with whatever they end up doing, especially if you have children. North Node is your soul path, 11th is Aquarius’ natural ruling house, being a friend, with friends, or something on a social scale is what you’re supposed to be doing. This could simply be saying you’re “meant to be” - just friends, this relationship can transform positively.

Moulin Rouge 💋 on 4 Pentacles is interesting. Someone makes money in a way that is possibly sexual in nature. Stripper, Only Fans, feet pics, some lane like that. Or they’re obsessed with things like that. The other person, is incredibly possessive, narrow minded, and greedy with money, their things, their people, etc. If one of you has a lifestyle like this, the other person is definitely not the one, they hate all of that and will judge the other person harshly for it. It’s a major clash in values between you. This can also simply be saying one of you is sexually open (via messages, probably you), and the other is not, at all, period. It’s no good. If there is no other person, it’s things like personal morals, someone’s definition of “respectable”, standards, yada yada being imposed on the other person that seals the deal on this. You two are either incompatible altogether or have majorly clashing values, desires & goals.