#but a good amount??? like I thought we were moving on from this
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y3sterdaysproblem · 3 days ago
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smoke and mirrors - chris sturniolo
chapter two
summary: your best friend Matt backs out of plans you had made together, so you replace him with his brother. the only problem is the two of you can’t stand each other.
{enemies to lovers, fake dating}
includes : explicit language, fluff, smut(penetration, oral, fingering, etc.), angst if you squint, lots of bickering, slow burn
wc: 2.5k
-
part one
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“Like this?”
“No! Like… move your hips over.”
“Chris, this feels wrong!”
“Yeah, because it’s you! Come on, just come here for the picture.”
You groan and scoot closer to Chris on the bed, slinging your leg over his hips. He was laid flat on his back and you were on your side facing him. You guys had agreed on pretending to be each others’ significant others for a short amount of time, and right now you were trying to get all the pictures you could. This was the third photo position you guys had gotten yourselves into, each one getting more intimate than the last. Your mindset was, the more pictures you took at once, the less you’d have to spend time together.
“Okay, take your picture,” you tell him, throwing your arm over his torso and looking up at him.
Chris looks down at you, your faces inches away from each other. “God, you’re so impatient. Don’t you just wanna cuddle like this for a minute?” He smirks a little before grabbing his phone with his left hand, placing his right hand on your bare thigh, snapping the picture like that.
“Okay, good. Now, uh… I don’t think you’re gonna like this next one,” Chris pushes your leg off of him and you sit up, peering down at him.
“Fuck you,” you say harshly. “What now?”
He smiles and pats his lap, and your jaw drops. “No,” you shake your head. “No way, I’m not getting on your lap.”
Chris groans. “I am not going to get hard at the thought of you on top of me if that’s what you’re worried about,” he promises.
“Yeah, well, you already think I’m hot so I don’t know,” you tell him, disgusted. “Can’t we do something else?”
Chris reaches out and pinches the back of your arm, clearly unamused. “Dude, I didn’t say I personally think you’re hot, I said you’re hotter than this chick. Big difference. Besides, I’m hot, too, and you know it, so come on, sit on daddy’s lap.”
You grimace at his word choice. “That just made me want to do it even less,” you say, but despite your words, you scoot closer until you’re next to him, then swing your leg over him and sit on his lap, your crotch sitting directly above his dick.
“See?” He smiles, reaching out to place a hand on your thigh again, even though the camera wasn’t out yet. “This isn’t so bad, right?”
You can’t help it when your throat goes dry at the feeling of his hand on your leg, and he was partially right. Matt was attractive, Nick was attractive, and unfortunately the short end of the stick with that reality was that Chris was also attractive, though you’d never say those words out loud.
You snap out of it quickly and grab your own phone to distract yourself, but Chris reaches up and grabs your phone out of your hands, putting it on the bed next to him. “Gotta look interested in me, baby,” he coos.
You groan and cross your arms, body shaking slightly as you did so, making Chris suck in a quiet breath. “Don’t call me baby, we’re not actually together.”
“Stop wiggling, yeah?” He asks you, hand on your thigh gripping tighter than it was before.
You raise your eyebrows at him, staring down with a clear attitude present on your face. “I thought you would be fine and not get hard.” You mocked him.
Chris meets your eyes. “I said I wouldn’t get hard at the thought of you but you keep moving around and I only have so much self control.”
You cringe, focusing your attention on your lower half where you no doubt start to feel the beginnings of an erection forming where your bodies met. “Can you hurry please?”
Chris picks his phone back up and opens his camera, but couldn’t resist the nasty comment that sat on his tongue, begging to be spoken. “Maybe I just wanna feel you a little longer.”
Your jaw drops, face heating up uncontrollably. “Chris!”
Chris rolls his eyes at your aggressive tone. “Just kidding, jeez. Here, put your hands here.” He pulls up the hoodie to make it look like he’s shirtless and then grabs your hands, placing them both on his stomach so you’re leaning over him, your cleavage peeking through the neckline of your shirt. With the angle change and your weight shifted onto your hands, part of you wanted to tease him, and you had no idea what was coming over you in the moment, probably just the fact that you hadn’t been in this position in so long and you were craving the attention and validation of a man, wanting to feel someone fall apart underneath you, but you quickly remind yourself who you’re dealing with when he speaks again. “Oh perfect,” he says, holding his phone up to take the picture. “That’s definitely going in my spank bank.”
“Ew, Chris!” You screech at him, smacking him on the head before standing up off the bed completely. “We’re done for right now, you’re insanely gross.”
Chris laughs at you and pulls his hoodie down, sitting up on the bed. He moved quickly, but you caught on to the quick dip of his hand in his sweatpants, clearly waistbanding his dick, but you don’t mention it and he sure as hell doesn’t either. “I’m just messing with you,” he says.
“Yeah well I’m over it,” you huff, crossing your arms again.
“Alright, get out of my room then,” Chris points to the door, and you happily oblige, leaving his room and heading up the stairs, making your way to Matt’s room where you find him sitting at his desk playing games and Nick laid on the bed playing on his phone.
Matt turns his head and smiles at you. “Hey, love. How’s being Chris’s girlfriend going?”
You groan loudly and drag your hands down your face. “Fucking terrible!” You cry. “He’s so pervy and gross and just awful to be around. I don’t know how you guys deal with him all day every day.”
Nick laughs in response. “We actually like him and he likes us.”
You shudder and grab the blankets from underneath your body, shimmying under them. “I’m taking a nap, hopefully that’ll cleanse me from the objectification I’ve endured.”
Both the boys laugh at you and go back to what they’re doing as you get comfortable and close your eyes.
Before you dozed off you found yourself wondering what things would be like if Chris wasn’t so annoying and how life would be if the two of you got along. Would you guys actually stand a chance at being in a relationship? Would either of you have feelings for each other that weren’t so negative? You’ve never thought about these possibilities before, and though it scared you slightly, you brushed it aside and let yourself drift off to sleep.
-
The four of you sat around the kitchen table later that night eating Italian food that Matt had gone and picked up, and the room was silent apart from the chewing noises that filled the air. You know the food is good if everyone is quiet you always say. But unfortunately, the sweet silence is interrupted by Chris clearing his throat and setting his fork down.
“So,” he starts, looking towards you. “I’m thinking we go on a date.”
You almost choke on your food, eyes widening. “What?!” You yell, mouth still full of food.
“Ew, swallow first. And yes, but not a real date, obviously. My idea is you can go to a fancy restaurant with Matt or something and he can take pictures of you looking all dressed up and just send them to me.” Chris suggests, and it’s not the worst idea in the world. Free dinner in a nice restaurant with your best friend? Sounds like a win win to you.
“You should’ve led with that, fuckface. Almost made me choke,” you tell him with furrowed eyebrows, wiping your mouth with your napkin.
“I typically do make women choke,” he replies with a smirk.
Everyone at the table groans in disgust at his dirty comment. “Too much,” Nick says loudly, waving his hands in the air.
Chris just laughs. “So is that a yes?”
You look at Matt and he shrugs his shoulders. “I’m fine with it,” he tells you, and you nod your head in agreement.
“Great!” Chris smiles, clapping his hands together. “I’ll make reservations for you guys and let you know when it is.”
You guys both nod and go back to eating your dinner.
After everyone was done eating, you guys migrated to the couch, where you ended up sandwiched between Matt and Chris, though Chris left a decent amount of space as opposed to Matt who sat nearly hip to hip with you.
“What are we watching?” You ask, grabbing a blanket off the back of the couch and throwing it over yours and Matt’s body.
“Get a room,” Chris grumbles, looking over at you and Matt snuggled up under the blanket.
You look towards him and smile. “If you wanna cuddle with me just say that,” you tease, kicking your feet up onto his lap.
He instantly shoves your legs off of him and scoots farther away from you. “Gross, get your feet off of me. You wish I wanted to cuddle with you, slut.”
Matt and Nick both whip their head up to look at Chris, and he immediately drops his head down towards his lap, knowing he fucked up. “Chris,” Matt spits. “Too fucking far, apologize or get the fuck out.”
“Matt, it’s fine,” you tell him, tucking your legs close to your body. Chris had never really gone that far, but you weren’t super surprised by the words he said, though it stung a little bit.
“No, it isn’t. I get you guys have your little arguments but that’s not okay,” Matt tells him again, voice as stern as the first time.
Chris sighs and picks his head back up, but only focuses on the tv in front of him, still not playing anything. “Sorry, didn’t mean to call you a slut.” He mumbles.
You just nod your head and look over at Nick and then look up at Matt. “Can we just put something on please?”
They agree and start scrolling through the streaming services, trying to find something to put on.
If you tried to think about it, you never really could pinpoint the exact moment you and Chris started acting like this, it just kind of became your guys’ normal. You’d all known each other since high school, and you clicked with Nick and Matt instantly, and you always thought Chris would come around, but he never did and your relationship never got any better. The more you hung around, the more hostile your relationship got, and the more you adapted.
It started as teasing, a “shut up” here, a “you’re so annoying” there, but as you guys continued to see each other, it just got meaner and meaner, and you’re so used to it now that you can’t imagine life without it, which is why it was so hard to imagine how he was going to act at this wedding when he had to pretend he didn’t hate you.
You guys ended up just putting on a movie you’d never seen, some chick flick rom com that only you and Nick were interested in, so you weren’t surprised when Matt and Chris grabbed their phones and started their endless scroll, until Chris looked up and over towards you.
“Hey,” he starts quietly, and you turn your head to look at him. “Can you, uh.. can you come take a picture with me? She’s texting me right now and thinks I’m lying about you. Which I guess I am, but, whatever. Just for a second?”
You think about it for a couple of moments, not really sure if cuddling up with Chris in front of his brothers is something you necessarily want to do right now, but you also don’t want to ruin the deal you two had made with each other, so you lightly nod your head and remove the blanket that covered you and Matt, scooting closer to Chris.
“How do you want to do this?” You asked him, and he just patted his leg.
“Just put your legs over mine and scoot real close, that’ll be fine. I can snap it really quick,” he says, and you oblige, scooting a bit closer than before and swinging both of your legs over one of his, draped over his thigh. You leaned your body into his, and he placed his hand on your thigh, tucked between both of your legs.
“Good?” You ask, eyes flitting up over his face. He nods and lifts his phone up to take a photo, taking a couple before looks over at you and reaches your gaze.
He takes a deep breath while staring at you, hand still resting on your thigh. “I’m sorry,” he says, voice low so his brothers couldn’t hear, but it was so quiet you almost didn’t hear him. “I really didn’t mean to call you that, it just slipped out.”
You’re shocked at the fact that he offered an actual apology, considering the fact that he’d never said sorry unless his brothers had told him to, so something about this felt a little bit more genuine than usual.
You offer him a tight lipped smile and nod your head. “I forgive you,” you tell him just as quietly.
He pulls his hand out from your thighs and taps your leg lightly. “Good, now go back to cozying up with my brother before I throw up.”
You laugh and do as he says, moving away from him and back towards Matt, who smiles sweetly at you, taking up the same position as you had with Chris, placing the blanket back over you both.
As you sat there and watched the movie, you couldn’t help but steal a few glances towards Chris, watching as he played with his lip with his free hand while he scrolled, or how he giggled to himself every time he saw a video that he found cute. The way he peeked up at the tv every so often to see what was happening, then went back on his phone to pretend he wasn’t interested in the cheesy movie.
What you were completely clueless to, though, was the way he did the same thing to you, watching as you laughed along with Nick, or how you cuddled closer into his brother, his hand rubbing your arm sweetly and habitually. He even watched the way your eyes started to flutter towards the end of the movie, clearly too tired to head home, just like most nights.
Maybe you weren’t that bad or annoying, but he was so deep in it now that he felt he could never turn back, never admit that maybe one day he’d like to be close to you like you were to his brothers. He had no idea that you’d take him up on that offer in a heartbeat.
-
a/n: part two!!! thanks for all the love on part one!!
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osakanone · 15 hours ago
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🎵 4Aesthetics
I don't believe they did copy his older works given how much of a departure most of the designs are and how much osmosis has happened since Kawamori's last contribution to Armored Core prior to 6 was Armored Core For Answer and only the NEXT, White Glint in 2008.
AC6 went in to development in 2018, which puts a full decade between Kawamori's prior work and the nature of mechanical design is like that of horizontal gene transfer: there's an enormous amount of contact inheritance, so much so that you can't really use terms like copy and instead iterate or explore is better -- which 100% happened given the length of the timegap.
Mecha evolution is parallel, as many have said before and Argonbolt recently reiterated -- though from a presentation standpoint the taxonomic format of the video feels shitposty, I think taxonomic-adjacent descriptors are a really good way to think about mechanical design, and design as a whole.
I haven't yet gotten around to a translated read of ARMORED CORE VI FIRES OF RUBICON OFFICIAL ART WORKS as I'm busy with other projects right, and I'm a lot less enthusiastic about 6th gen than 4th gen so its kind of on the backburner.
tl;dr of why I'm less enthused: I very much agree with the Steam page that AC6 is based on the concept of Armored Core, but I wouldn't say that it is Armored Core, truly since it lacks the fundamental combat calculus defined by rates which is why AC6 is so statistically biased over being mechanically balanced. This is why the combat doesn't resolve in a satisfying way, and why the meta keeps dancing around its fundamental problems. I noticed this before the game was released based on the motion footage we got that was leaked. Following the game, my suspicion was confirmed by Inveigh and SilverGlint who felt the same way, who I consider far more hardcore players of the game than me, and I got a few apologies from people who thought I was exaggerating the design issues. I'm still very sore about AC6, both its gameplay and its story. <grievences>
Moving along:
To my understanding, Kazutaka Miyatake, Takayuki Yanase, and Ikuto Yamashita were staff designing for Armored Core 6?
Kawamori only designed IBC03/HAL826 and IB07/SOL644 afaik.
Like he gets a lot of credit, but the idea that he does "all of the design" for Armored Core is a massive misconception.
I don't know if Makoto Kobayashi or Wataru Inata, Masahiro Miki, Akihiro Goto, Kaichi Satou or Tetsuya Taniyama have returned.
I don't understand the capacity Kawamori functions under when he staffs at FROM, but if I had to make an educated guess I'd say he either briefs other designers, or serves as a means of keeping other designs cohesive in design reviews. There isn't a lot of discussion about this.
Like Okawara, he's a designer who needs very strong direction to produce good outcomes, and I get this might be heracy but his newer work while more mechanically cohesive in terms of the ability to execute on it as a physical product like a model toy is far less stylistically ambitious with its forms.
It has a far more passive appearance which in 2024's design climate (especially that of twitter or pixiv) feels very strange in a post-Syd Mead and post-Yuzo Kojima era.
This is characterized by narrower hips and a greater emphasis on chasing a more humanoid form which ironically is less characterized, less recognizable and less iconic.
I consider this kind of strange, given that Kawamori's original trick was that audiences were really really forgiving of what a robot would look like despite being somewhat strict about vehicles, and he used this to his advantage throughout many of his transforming designs.
It feels like the problems of the mechaical designs and how hard they are to realize into functioning models in Macross Plus kinda... Haunt him? Like he girlbossed too close to the sun?
My personal theory is there's a habit of mechanical designers who get typecast or trapped into redesigning the same problem for a really long time: Just like neural networks can hallucinate or hypernormalize values beyond norms to chase a utility function the same is often true of design.
I think this is what Takeshi Murakami was trying to say in his sculpture, Second Mission: Project Ko^2, which is an anime style naked girl of the era and style of Studio Nue (when Kawamori afaik got his start) transforming into a fighter-plane in an act of fascinating if grotesque body horror.
aside: I wonder how Kawamori feels about Second Mission Project Ko^2 almost daily, and if I go to Osaka Expo 2025 (which two people want to take me to) I want to ask him since he has a booth but I feel it would be really impolite???
This is how you get really strange gangly forms, or structures which don't make a ton of sense, and is honestly the work image collaging AI systems were most interesting doing.
Human designers replicate this too:
You see it with the recent BMW car designs with their giant snouts, and you also see it in Apple's fetishistic obsession with less buttons reducing to one button with the iPod nano 3rd gen which was considered unusable since users had to memorize tap sequences to use it.
Its like a kind of Fisherian Runaway but for design
I think too, we also see this in some of Mamoru Nagano's work on GothicMade, where his reinterpretation of Mortarhedds has become hypernormalized.
I'd really need to think more on this.
I don't know why this giant discussion fell out of me, and I'm not even sure how "factual" a lot of it is.
I feel a lot of what I'm saying is probably rude or perhaps even parasocial on some level, and the thought of actually testing any of this or publishing properly would insult an entire industry of wonderful people I hold nothing but the deepest respect and admiration for.
That said, I still feel compelled to write.
Its very vibes based and while I'm providing evidence, I'm probably either making a massive mistake and confabulating information/hallucinating linkages as a mentally compromised individual with autism who thinks far too hard about fictional robots and the schools of design that link them together or I'm making an insight that people will talk about long after I'm dead if my blog survives.
Then again, maybe the fact I'm even contemplating that I might be wrong might mean I'm actually covering my bases and I might actually be right? That's... The feeling I have? I wish I were brave enough to make video essays.
The thought that someone might actually read any of what I write, and even enjoy it is one of the seven thoughts that helps me keep going through my depression.
Take care.
Remember, the ask button exists.
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Armored Core VI Fires of Rubicon Official Art Works
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loveanddeepspice · 2 days ago
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𝕋𝕖𝕞𝕡𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝔾𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕖
✞ synopsis:  you've come back to the small town you grew up in for a visit. though your relationship with the catholic church and faith in general have been strained since you were younger, you find yourself drawn back to the church... or more specifically... the new priest... you aren't ready to share your secret sin with him... but you may not be able to help yourself.
✞ pairing: sylus x curvy fem!reader
✞ rating:  18+ (minors do not engage)
✞ cw:  religion (catholicism), priest, lapsed faith, adultery, priest kink, suicidal mention, dead parent, sex, masturbation, drugs (marijuana), mentions of other drug use, drinking (more will be added when/if they arise)
✞ disclaimer: this fiction explores a romantic relationship between a lapsed Catholic and an unconventional priest. it is not designed to be inflammatory or critical. catholic authors were asked to participate in the process. we hope you enjoy it, but we know that these topics can be sensitive, so please skip this fiction if it will in any way offend you.
✞ chapter:  6 / ?
✞ co-authors:  redbriony, confuseddoughnut (they do not have tumblr)
✞ ao3 link:  here
✞ chapter synopsis: "the only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it." - oscar wilde
✞ index: chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3 | chapter 4 | chapter 5| chapter 6
Please comment on this post if you want to be added to the tag list for updates!
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Despite what happened, you would have done anything to face Father Sylus again. 
He was the type of person who radiated energy from within, dedication unlike anyone you had ever met - which could be a good or a bad thing. The thoughts became an obsession, all that seemed to fill your brain. The recollection of his touch made you sweat. It was the last thing you thought about before drifting off to sleep, the first thing you thought about when you woke, and the next few days stretched.  One thing was sure: you longed to see him again, if only for the courage to apologize.  But did you even have to apologize? He was the one who had kissed you first, right?  It was so unbelievably confusing. You’d talk yourself through circles; for once, no amount of sleeping seemed to help.  You weren’t even given the option to sleep it all off anyway or mellow properly in your self-pity. Upon learning of your ‘arrest’ from Talia, your father forced you out of the house that Sunday to go to church with him.  “What’s going on with you, Y/N?” Dad raised his eyebrows and frowned as he gripped the steering wheel, and you could tell he was trying hard not to get angry or frustrated. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you, hon. You came back, and you’re acting weird.  Can you just tell me what’s wrong?”  Shaking your head, you shrugged, trying your hardest to maintain eye contact on the door handle, ignoring your dad’s question and wishing he’d just leave you alone.  “You went from being happy to totally distraught since you moved out. What am I supposed to think here, huh?”  ‘Maybe everything went to total fucking shit,’ was what you wanted to say, and tried not to roll your eyes. Dad tried so hard to not act like the authoritarian or pushy father, especially after your mother had died. He was never like that. And it was because of that you figured it was time to be at least a little truthful.  “I quit my job. I don’t know what I’m going to do from here, but -” you said, “I just…needed some time to think things through.”  Your dad parked the car and turned to offer you a subtle smile. You were convincing enough, obviously. “Okay, fine. Work in the store until you figure it out. It’ll be like old times.” One hand gripped the steering wheel as he looked at you, almost seeming to peer into your brain as his eyes flicked ever so slightly. “So, uh, is this about your mom? I didn’t know you were still upset about that. I should’ve tried to talk to you more.”  You bit down your reply, feeling a bitter taste in the back of your throat, and willing it away.  “No, it isn’t. Just forget about it.”  A long sigh filled the small space as your father pressed his lips together. “Christ, I can’t be mad at you right now. I’ve always let you do what you want.”  This was strange, a particular ache settling inside and spreading to your limbs like an infection. Maybe it wouldn’t stop now that it had started. And the first instinct was to get away and run. Run and run and just get away.  “Hon, Y/N,” Your Dad’s voice was pleading, and you nearly missed it. “We can go talk to -”  “No!” You blurted, immediately regretting it, mortified at just the thought. How did you speak so fast? “No, it’s fine. Let’s just go inside. We’re gonna be late.”
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You didn’t feel any better inside the church, but you weren’t expecting much to begin with. All you could do was suck it up and seat yourself beside your dad. It wasn’t crowded, but there were a few unfamiliar faces, so maybe not everyone would notice your fucked up mood. 
Everything felt surreal. You were sitting there in church with the sun streaming through the stained glass windows, and your gaze landed on the one depicting the Virgin Mary.
The word ethereal came to mind. 
Everything seemed like it would evaporate into thin air. Like if you moved too quickly, you’d wake up from one of those dreams that just turned out to be inside of another dream. 
And when a hush fell over the congregation, you had no choice but to look forward. No matter how your brain fizzes or your fingers tingle. You were forced to look at that handsome face in front of the church and feel the emotion well inside you. Something that felt different than embarrassment or frustration. 
Even from this distance, Father Sylus exudes that particular aura, daring to fill the whole church with its strength. You are once again reminded of how inescapable his presence is—not through belief or goodness, but something, someone who felt unearthly, even celestial, as absurd as it felt. 
Ethereal. Once again, with that pretty word. How could you even begin to explain it? It was so easy to feel some sort of bitterness, perhaps even selfishness. Who could blame you? Everything always seemed too simple when you looked at it from a distance. 
“Good morning,” He began, his voice taking on that strangely powerful, lilting cadence. He paused, hands clasping, and his posture was different. Shoulders broad, spine straight, chin lifted slightly. “I want to take a moment before we begin to discuss why we’re here.” 
You were drawn to his words, which had formed an invisible link to you. Maybe if you closed your eyes like you did at night, you could picture that night in the car. It felt foolish because you were certain your own thoughts were desperate. How stupid did it make you seem, trying to replay the sensation? A stupid crush. That is all you wanted it to amount to, even if looking into his fiery gaze had made you feel like you were melting.
“We’re here, in the house of the Lord. Why is this?” 
If a month’s insistence on chasing after a flame could be compared to anything -
 “Free will.” His tone picked up. “Through our actions, we make conscious decisions. As far as humankind is concerned, free will also makes us human.” 
Your breathing stilled. Something terrible seized your gut, a cramping feeling causing you to grit your teeth. 
“This is a sanctified place,” he continued, voice rich and filled with energy. “Within these walls, you should experience peace. Not conflict or anger. All are free here because it is with our actions that we build ourselves.”
How the hell did he manage this? The words continued spilling from his mouth, something pulling you further. And after a pause, his gaze filtered over the room again - and landed on you. 
Time was beginning to stand still, and you swore your face began to heat up. But, thankfully, the look didn’t linger on you, moving on as he cleared his throat. 
Well, fuck. 
There was only a tiny shift in expression, and perhaps you were the only one to notice how his pause seemed more lengthy than those before it. 
"We - uh.” Father Sylus made a show of glancing down at the notes before him and shuffling a few pages. “Sorry.” He cleared his throat again, a little louder this time. “What I mean to say is, with free will, we struggle against our urges and temptations. Sin beckons - uh,” another loud cough. He looked nervous. Vulnerable. In more ways than one. 
Father Sylus hastily pushed aside the pages, shoulders lifting in a deep breath before looking again at the people gathered. He straightened a little, and his powerful tone returned as he folded his hands neatly. “So, how do we resist? It can be hard to…admit one’s faults.” He let out a little huff of air, glancing down again. Then, he stepped away from the podium, stepping along the carpeted dais, hands clasped behind his back and thumbs tapping against each other. 
The congregation started shifting. A glance here and there, unable to guess what he would say next. Probably wondering why their priest was acting so…off. If you weren’t glued to your seat in, well, any number of the emotions you were feeling now - you would have high-tailed it out of there already. But instead, you were frozen in place, feeling like an outsider, feeling the shift in the air more than the others around you. 
“Take those feelings and multiply them by ten.” He stated, looking towards the back of the church at nothing in particular. It was as if he was somewhere only his mind knew. 
“Opportunity is often just an invitation to sin, yes. Free will is a man’s greatest power but also his biggest weakness. With that power comes responsibility. Satan doesn’t come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns in the middle of the night.” 
Oh God.
 There was a tense pause and stillness, and you wonder how you managed to sit here and listen. Those crimson eyes trailed around the room, but for another second, a brief and terrifying second, they burned into you.
“Satan comes as everything you’ve ever wished for.” He laughed, bitter and slightly hoarse. Then his eyes snapped forward again, unabashed. 
He coughed, cleared his throat again, and gestured with a finger above his head. “We all - well, we all think we can overcome any challenge. Big or small. Big and small.” Father Sylus let out a shaky exhale. “Um, the point is...The point is that the devil is ready to collect when you can’t. So, the point is that - uh,” His tone shifted to something smaller that made your insides tremble agonizingly. A breathless, tight sort of anxiousness that stole through your lungs and caused your heart rate to increase. It was impossible to deny that despite the words coming out of his mouth, you actually wanted to hear him continue. “Um, sometimes I think the hardest thing is that we are human, and we are weak.” 
Before he could even continue, his voice cracked. “I’m sorry.” He swallowed, grimacing, an anguish that you recognized. “Excuse me.” He looked like he might break, the wavering tension almost stifling the room, his expression almost tormented. 
“I’m sorry. Excuse me.” And with that, he disappeared into the back, leaving everyone shocked. 
Everyone except for you. 
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“And that’s why I’m never going to church again.” You rolled your eyes as you leaned against one of the shelves in your dad’s store, looking over at Rafayel, who was leaning against the counter, making it his personal mission to get every last drop out of an iced coffee. “You should have seen the look on his face. What a fuck up.” 
Rafayel wrinkled his nose, looked around the otherwise empty store, and then glanced at his phone. “Yikes. Poor guy.” He sighed and tapped his foot on the floor. “Talia came home and said he had a migraine - but it’s even more hilarious that a near-public breakdown was because of you.” 
“My God, you are awful.” You frowned and stepped forward to lightly punch his arm, reaching out and catching his elbow with a grimace as he pretended to almost fall over. “That’s a horrible thing to say! You were the one who was practically encouraging me!” 
“I would never,” Rafayel huffed, clicking his tongue and shaking his head. “Anyway, it’s been almost a week now. You’re gonna have to suck it up and face him sooner or later.” With a firm nod, he shook off your hold and dusted his hand on the faded denim of his jeans, turning his attention back to his phone and shaking the ice in the cup he held. 
“How would I do that?” You asked. 
As if oblivious, Rafayel arched a brow and smiled tightly, peering at you over the edge of his phone. His tone was less-than-reassuring, sounding almost pitying. “No fucking idea.” 
You opened your mouth to argue but thought better of it as the shop door opened, just in time for the chilly afternoon to bring in your dad and Xavier. You took a deep breath at the sound of the bell and forced yourself to calm down.
As if on cue, Rafayel pushed himself away from the counter and looked in your direction. “Well, Y/N.” He said, tossing a wink in your direction that made you want to reach out and knock the silly grin off his face. “Good luck.” With that, he turned and walked out of the store with a shake of his head. 
Your dad mumbled something under his breath before tossing a wave a little too late and heading into the back of the small building. 
Unease had settled in your stomach at your friend's departure. You felt as if you had more to say, ask, or get a general idea of as you stared at the shop's door. You ran a hand over your tired face and sighed. 
“Hi,” Xavier gave you a careful, controlled smile as you turned toward his voice. “Need help with anything?” 
You tried your best not to fidget or bite your lip. “No, but it’s nice of you to offer.” You shrugged and glanced away briefly. “Why? Got nothing else to do?” 
“Uh, I work here?” He blinked as he stepped forward. You could take in his softening facial features now that he was closer. His smile didn’t quite fade as he looked around the quiet shop. “Anyway - I um. I tried to call you last night? About dinner?” 
Tilting your head in confusion, you froze. Then, you processed the sentence. 
Dinner. Shit. 
“Oh! My phone went missing. I’m sure it’ll turn up soon or something. Wasn’t the nicest phone anyways,” you brushed some hair behind your ear. “I still can’t figure out how it disappeared!” You forced a laugh at your lie and shifted uncomfortably.
You’d completely forgotten about agreeing to go out with him. How fucking stupid were you? So caught up in the idea of -
“Well, uh, I didn’t plan much. So it’s okay, we can just do something another night. Right?” Xavier suggested, and you couldn’t tell if he had let it go so quickly or was suspicious about your behavior. 
Either way, you smiled, rationalizing with yourself for what felt like the millionth time that spending time with him would be a good thing. Any way to keep your mind distracted. Clearly, he still wanted to go out with you, and you certainly wouldn’t say no. After all, who could blame you for latching on anyone who showed the slightest interest? 
This would be a step in the right direction, right? Things would get better. They had to. No matter how weird it felt for you to think so. 
“That’s fine. Sorry, my head’s all over the place.” 
The worst part of it all was the sudden weight in your stomach, the ache in your chest that was becoming all too tiring. Something pushed you in the complete opposite direction of the young man in front of you, towards what you really wanted, and had no explanation for why you did. 
“Y/N?” Xavier spoke again and stepped closer, watching your expression with careful scrutiny, his hand reaching out to touch yours, giving you a new feeling of unease. “Hey, um, - you alright?” 
Your heart wrenched a little at the worry, and you wondered exactly how pathetic you appeared. “I think so. Can you take over? I gotta step out for a while.”
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It grew colder as you walked along the sidewalk, sticking your hands inside your jacket pockets. Clouds gathered in the distance, inching their way towards the suburb. The air smelled fresher, as if it might snow lightly sometime at night. A breeze swept over the street, stirring pieces of your hair from its confines, and you briefly thought you should have remembered your scarf. 
Then, you came to a stop in front of the church. 
You looked down at your outfit, the jeans and the oversized blue sweater you had found in your mom's closet, when you couldn’t be bothered to do your own laundry. Perhaps she would give you strength, or at least enough willpower from wherever she was to give you the courage to turn right the fuck around and go back home.  She was always straightforward in that way, even without the drinking. If only you had taken after her in that aspect. 
For a moment, you almost turned to leave, giving yourself the opportunity to simply walk away and go home. However, after a few seconds of mental debate, you stepped along the worn walkway and up the steps, slipping your hand out of your pocket to place it on the worn wooden door. 
Somewhere in your mind was a glimmer of hope, the possibility of resolve.
Now that you had gathered whatever courage you had left, you took one last, bracing breath before pushing the door open. A jolt of energy speared up your arms, a buzzing sensation against your fingertips. Once you were inside, everything felt eerily silent. Almost too silent. But as the familiar warmth enveloped you, your body relaxed slightly as you shrugged off your jacket. 
The last light from the day was casting through the windows, and the interior was a muted, golden glow and soft orange. It felt warm in more ways than one. Despite the hushed nature of the building, energy thrummed within you. The atmosphere was inviting, but for some reason, you couldn’t quite muster the ability to step forward any further, feet stuck to the floor beneath you. It was ironic, yet in a way, expected; you felt like crying or throwing something, but maybe punching Father Sylus would give you the most satisfaction. 
The chapel seemed alien to you as you made your way further inside. 
Loneliness was all-consuming, a fear ever present and threatening in the back of your mind. You wondered why it hurt so much. And, you considered whether you have ever experienced a real connection in your life. You zeroed in on the cross beyond the rows of pews as if you could use it for answers. It glinted a little in the evening light that filtered through the stained glass. Your eyes felt dry as they fixed upon the illuminated wood, searching, listening, walking towards the front of the church like a mouse. 
“You think this is funny, don’t you?” You asked your question out loud. The silence of the building taunted you in return, and something constricted within your chest. The rush of it all was consuming, filling your every thought with hope and expectation. A breath sucked in, and you shook your head, blinking. Everything felt off, and you had no idea what your body was supposed to do with itself. “This is so fucked. You know, this is all…just so messed up,” you choked out the whisper and, with a small gasp, swallowed. The emotions swelled. Heavy and pounding and suddenly overwhelming. 
Who gave a shit? Nothing would change. 
But, maybe - 
Would God be willing? Could He lift the spell put on you that would continue to grow? 
“Mom is dead, and she’s not coming back.” The words spilled and dropped like shattered glass. “And, uh, it’s just like, that’s fucked up. Isn’t it? Please, it’s - well, I wish I knew, God damn it. Motherfucker!” You swore louder than you should have, not recognizing your own voice. A feeling that had no name gripped your heart. This was it. You were giving up. “Totally fucked up. And you go and make me do stupid shit? What kind of test is that?” 
Only silence answered. You wondered how you should feel. As angry as you were, it felt strange to voice it. Finally, saying the words brought unusual comfort, and it was too easy to admit everything now. “Yeah, yeah. You should really apologize, God. Lord. Jesus. Whatever.” 
“I’m sorry.” The voice that spoke back did not belong to you. Echoing off the walls and the stained glass, it sent a jolt up your spine, causing you to spin in its direction. Leaning against a doorframe was Father Sylus, looking down at the floor, that shameful expression resurfacing on his face. You witnessed the repentant facade as he lifted his head and looked at you. 
It felt like a flood rushed through you, coursing, washing away the anger, seeping into every cell, and filling you with something new. Warm and soft, somehow breaking you apart as it passed. Something indecipherable but true. 
Something almost wonderful and exhilarating. 
He looked like something you could draw. That raw, exposed sort of aura. 
That same warmth enveloped your heart, the comfort expanding across your chest. There was something profound and affectionate within his gaze and the sense that you had underestimated what was truly meant by the phrase ‘care and concern.’
It could have been a few seconds. Or minutes passed as you stood rooted to the spot. The beating of your heart seemed to echo in your ears. Blood pulsed through your veins, the silence around you growing louder. 
“For what?” You were almost afraid to speak up. 
“For whatever you’re feeling,” Father Sylus stated plainly. Then he straightened, and his look shifted, and for a split second, he stepped forward, only to pause with his fingers twitching at his sides. Maybe there was confusion flickering in his gaze. Or longing. But he still didn’t move from where he stood, as if unable to break the tension he had with himself. After a time, he studied your face and added, “For everything and for nothing.” 
After a moment of thought, you shook your head. “That’s vague.” 
“It’s all I’ve got.” Father Sylus ran a hand behind his neck, almost nervously, eyes shifting and gaze searching. Another pause lingered between you, and you blinked a few times. He opened and closed his mouth, finally settling on placing both his hands on his hips, inclining his head to look at the stained glass windows. “That…and guilt.” 
His admission seemed weighted, and his voice was heavy. You watched him take a step forward, then hesitate. 
In that second, there was a great leap in understanding. You understood that he would not look directly at you because it would break this sacred reverence between you and whatever else was going on within his mind. 
Maybe it’d always been a game, and perhaps you knew deep down that this would be his next move. The inevitable, silent communication. Slowly, you folded your shaky arms over your chest. The look that flashed in his eyes made you shudder. With a new boldness, you swallowed and whispered: “Why are you telling me this?” 
Exhaling hard, you weren’t sure whether to scream, laugh, or cry as you awaited your answer.
He swallowed, his dark gaze teeming like a fire in the low light, the red burning. His lip curled. “Because I feel like you can understand it. Why I feel this way.” 
A sick urge, sharp and needy, had you crossing the space between you, the air shaking and trembling as he finally took another stride forward. Your eyes traced over his face. Deep and pained and beautiful. His chest heaved. A strange, bittersweet satisfaction filled you. 
“I - I can’t stop thinking about -” you broke off, words quivering as you spoke. “Us. The other night - it keeps going through my head, what I said, and -” your voice was breaking again, the achy, miserable desperation settling in. 
You could tell he was holding his breath, hands now clenched into fists, gaze searching and uncertain. “I didn’t mean to deceive you.” The words hung heavy as he stepped closer, finally closing the distance between you, tilting your chin, and forcing you to look at him. The grip held you firmly, though his eyes remained gentle and pleading. “I want nothing more than to pray - beg for your forgiveness. Try and restore whatever trust I’ve betrayed - but in all truth, God, I -” 
Another thick swallow, and he paused, the corner of his mouth twisting. He squeezed your chin lightly as if in search of some answer. Then his hand fell to his side, his head turning to look at the cross behind the altar. Something burned beneath your ribs. 
“What is it?” You whispered, trembling with the effort of not spilling all your unresolved thoughts. “Tell me - tell me something, anything, or - or -” You stopped yourself, feeling a little pathetic at not being able to formulate the proper words. 
“My path was never exactly clear, but,” Father Sylus swallowed thickly, sounding more scared than ever. “Someone I loved when I was younger - she -” A long sigh escaped his lips. “We were each other's firsts and…We loved each other very much.” He exhaled again. His face creased into sadness, reminiscent and haunting. A sharp pain, almost. One that lingered from emotions held within. The truth was there, plain as day, naked, heartbroken, and fragile. “She died when she was eighteen.” 
Pain squeezed at you mercilessly, tight and almost bone-crunching. You stepped closer, your brain slowly putting it all together, realization hitting. Then your bottom lip trembles as you reach out, taking hold of his hand and squeezing it. “I’m sorry,” you manage to say after a moment, “that must have been -” Another pause, trying to settle your lungs into a steadier breathing pattern. 
He squeezed your hand, looking at you, catching your gaze and holding it, unwavering. “I went to her funeral in a church far bigger than this one with twice the congregation. And later that day, when they put her down into the ground, I listened to the Monsignor pray over her soul.” He looked away again, this time up at the beams in the ceiling. “And I really listened to what he was saying for the first time. And I don’t know why, I just suddenly felt…” He trailed off, and you moved your hand further up his arm, willing him to continue by pressing your fingertips gently into his forearm. 
He smiled at the ceiling, faint and apologetic. “I felt at peace. Everything clicked into place. As stupid as that sounds. It was like something I couldn’t understand but needed. And, well,” he shrugged. 
“At last, it finally made sense to me,” he muttered. “The power God holds over us was always right there.” Then he turned to face you, his fingers reaching and resting on your cheek, tracing the soft skin of your jaw. “And now, I stand before you - finding these feelings again, the first true connection I’ve felt in years. I don’t mean to doubt anything…but I don’t know how to...” 
He let his voice drift off before tucking your hair behind your ear, movements tender. You wondered what he could see in your expression. 
“How did she die?” You asked quietly as if the question would destroy something in the air, but you needed to ask it anyway. 
The corners of his mouth trembled as he stroked his thumb along your jawline, offering you a small, grim smile. “She was mad at something, drank herself sick. Decided a joy ride on a motorcycle might be a good idea,” he turned his gaze to the ceiling again, and it finally hit you that he kept doing that as a trick to keep himself from crying. “She lost control and swerved, hit a wall head-on. Died on impact. Stupid girl with the dumbest ideas. She used to talk about seeing if the world curved or if the stars continued forever. She was funny and smart - but not as smart as she should have been. Her blood alcohol level came back three times the legal limit.” 
“That’s horrible,” you breathed. The puzzle pieces were assembled together. A crash. Drunk. How similar it was to your mother. Only your mother hadn’t met death head-on. It was still one of those things that made you wonder; which would have been worse? The chance was so similar yet unique. Still, as Father Sylus spoke about it, you swore you felt the faint sorrow he must still carry within himself.
“Sylus, I’m -” 
“Don’t be sorry.” He said, finally regaining a certain poise about his face, somehow managing to look warm even at this moment, smiling very softly. 
At his words, you realized you were breathing harder than before, and it didn’t go unnoticed as he scanned your face. You didn’t know what was wrong with you; you felt an emotion you could no longer explain. He had experienced loss, same as you, just not in the same way. 
Father Sylus let out a dry snort. “It’s not a happy memory, but something good comes from pain. Distrust to trust. Fear to courage. Hatred to love. To an extent, those things make you understand and appreciate everything.” 
You nodded, unable to stop yourself from wrapping your arms around his middle, convincing yourself you would forget how to breathe if you didn’t. You embraced him because it felt like the right thing to do, the smoothness of his shirt beneath your fingertips. His hand ran up along your side until it rested on your neck's base, soft, gentle, and warm. He exhaled a little before resting his chin on the top of your head. 
As he held you, you realized that this was what you had wanted. This was what you had really been aching for. Everything shifted again, changing, rushing with a tangle of nerves and dizziness. Nothing else would settle more easily than being cradled right there, where you could breathe him in. 
“Hey, do you -” He leaned back, both hands cupping your face, tilting it to meet his own. It took him a moment to formulate his question. “I shouldn’t ask, but - do you still want me?” 
Of course you did. More than anything. 
But even then, you should have stepped away. Should have walked out without another word, back to whatever fucking regular life you thought you had. But with whatever strength you had left, you pushed everything aside and quietly said, “Yes.” 
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He had pressed you against the wooden door of the office, pinning you in place after dragging you in there and shutting the door. Not that you really had any intention of going anywhere. Not with his lips moving against yours, the desperation sending sparks along your skin.  His tongue darted out, parting your lips and moving into your mouth. Hungry and forceful and tasting every inch.
“You know,” he said as he pulled back, taking a second to breathe, “It’s so hard to be good when you’re so…” He trailed off, leaving you to only imagine what he would say. 
No, you had no words or any logical thoughts, really. Perhaps this was the closest thing to heaven you’d ever feel, surely. And Father Sylus ran his hands down your sides, slow and possessive, grabbing fistfuls of your sweater and bunching it up. Heat began spreading throughout your body as his fingertips crept underneath and stoked along the sensitive skin. 
“Will you let me in?” He mumbled, his lips now on the underside of your jaw as his palms spanned across your stomach as if trying to map out every inch of exposed skin. The blood pounded in your veins, pulsing in rhythm with your heartbeat.
“If this is what it feels like to be tempted,” you mused, gasping as he sucked on the skin above your collarbone, gripping the front of his shirt. “I have already failed. Miserably.” 
Letting out a hot breath that sounded an awful lot like laughter, he pulled away, a smile stretching across his lips, amused. “I suppose you really have,” he chuckled. His hands gripped your hips and spun you around so you were against his desk. Then he ducked down to press more kisses along your throat. The shivers returned as he lifted your sweater over your head, tossing it aside with another wicked grin. And for the first time, you noticed the hint of a dimple in the corner of his mouth. 
After a moment, Father Sylus fumbled with the buttons of his shirt until that, too, was discarded, skin suddenly bare. The sight made you stop, observing for a moment. For the first time, your fingers reached out and touched the skin of his chest, moving over the muscles and across his stomach. You marveled at the way he flinched slightly, inhaling sharply at your touch. 
Everything felt…hot, heavy, and inappropriate in the best way. 
And before you knew it, his hands were running up along the bare skin of your stomach, a barely-there brush that made your breath hitch. Then his hands were behind your back, unhooking your bra as his lips found yours again, rough and fervent. As it was removed, there was not a second of delay before his hands cupped both of your breasts, squeezing and drawing his thumbs over your nipples. 
“You’re so beautiful,” his hands shifted, fingers resting along the waistband of your jeans. 
It was like every little action was becoming overwhelming, sending pulsing waves through every nerve, vein, and muscle. When he popped the button, slid the zipper, and slowly eased the jeans down, the pulsing only got stronger—dizzying with its intensity. It was challenging to focus on anything else that would make more sense. Your mind was clouded. 
“Wait,” you breathed, sitting on the desk, pulling the clip from your hair and tossing it to the floor, the waves tumbling out. His hands never left you, still roaming over every little centimeter of you they could get access to, “I -” 
It didn’t need to be said, whatever it was. Because a grin broke out across his lips. A bright, glorious grin as Father Sylus pressed another harsh kiss to your lips like he could swallow the words down.
Stepping closer, he maneuvered you onto your back, your legs dangling over the edge of the desk. The smooth, cool wood pressed against the length of your spine and shoulders as you heard something that sounded like a book fall somewhere behind you. He gripped the soft flesh of your thighs, blunt nails digging in. Breath hitching, your heart thumped at the roughness and passion of his movements. Something animalistic and unrestrained lay just beneath the surface, waiting, ready. 
“Let me,” he urged quietly, fingers winding over the lace underwear, dragging them down the length of your legs. Fingers stroked up again, curling and caressing your inner thighs, one hand finally reaching the place where you were already desperate, soaking wet, and aching to be touched. Without hesitation, a digit dipped, sliding along your slick folds and slipping in easily. The motion made you bite down on your tongue as his other hand ran along the underside of your knee, urging your leg up and apart. 
You felt the pad of his thumb gliding over the little bundle of nerves, back and forth in a way that made you groan. 
“You are,” his voice was low, almost a growl, and his teasing continued. “So gorgeous, laying there. I can’t stop looking at you.” One finger became two. Slick and hot as they moved into you, each stroke moving deeper. All too suddenly, his lips were crashing down against yours, kissing you hard and desperately as if set on devouring you whole. 
The only thing keeping you stable was grabbing his shoulder and his upper arm. The sudden rise of pressure rushed around you. His thumb slipped, pressing down a bit more on your clit, drawing another gasp from you, a sound that filled the room. Then he pulled his hand away, an invisible weight settling when the digits were gone, leaving you empty and still aching for more. 
“I’m on birth control,” you managed, eyes blinking rapidly as you processed that this, in fact, was actually about to happen. The fullness beneath your belly was spooling tighter, coiling. 
It was only a few seconds; that’s all it took for him to undo his belt buckle, his length freed. Straining, leaking, begging to be inside you. The size of it makes you swallow a certain anxious lump in your throat. 
“Please.” The word spilled out before you could stop it. The coil inside you grew more and more tense and throbbing. You needed it now; the consequences didn’t matter, nor did the guilt or shame. “Please.”
His breathing hitched as if a long controlled flame within had been ignited. One of his hands rested on your hip, the other hooking under your opposite knee, parting you further and steadying himself. The tip of his cock pressed at your center. You didn’t have any time to prepare because, at that very moment, he was pushing further, sliding into you inch by inch. 
The heat and fullness and pleasure coursed, trembling through you. 
“Sweetheart,” he breathed, face buried in the crook of your neck, but you could hear the grin in his tone, the soft desperation in his voice. “You, you -” but his breath choked off as he pushed all the way inside, the moan that ripped through him cracked and hoarse. 
It took you a moment to feel him fully, gasping for air and dazed beyond what was really necessary. Holding tight, you wrapped an arm around his neck, exhaling hard. The room became a haze around the two of you, the entire moment almost suspended, paused, put on hold. 
When he moved his hips again, you whimpered as he hit somewhere deep, and your pleasure spiked. 
“Fuck,” he whispered against your skin, raising himself just enough to look at you, eyes glinting with a certain fervor. A little dark, a little feral, something wildly possessive and hungry and yearning all at once. “Oh, fuck,” he hissed, gritting his teeth and closing his eyes. Another jolt shot through you. Another strong thrust, this one harder than the last, followed by another. And another. It took a minute for him to set a rhythm, but when he did - you were sure the air was being pushed from your lungs each time. 
You couldn’t do anything but hang on. His mouth met yours in a sloppy, forceful kiss. Gasping and shuddering, you tried not to shout at the next jolt. The constant grind fills you every time. Deeper and sharper. The steady, thrumming pleasure. Intense and focused, as if Father Sylus were on a mission. Searching for something. Finding each sweet spot with whatever desperate greed drove him. Like now that he’d had the taste of something forbidden, he wanted the best of it - anything you could offer. 
He shifted slightly, and before you knew it, he hooked your leg over his shoulder, the deep angle making you arch from the desk. 
One hand tangled in his hair, the other on his shoulder, gripping hard and pulling him closer, trying to keep him buried deep inside of you. The friction built, the pace driving forward and drawing the pressure up, leaving you malleable and aching for release. But somehow, wanting it to last as long as possible. 
When the pleasure spooled tighter and tighter, every breath came short, coming fast and shorter. Until finally with one long, breathy whimper of an exhale, release washed over you, crashing like a wave. His name slipped out of your mouth, some deep, instinctual part of your brain keeping you present enough to utter it, still pulsing around him, shaking. 
And that brought him there, a little broken sound falling from his lips. Hips snapping, driving just the slightest bit further until he groaned into the side of your neck, spilling inside you. After a moment, the stillness settled between the two of you, heavy and thick. There was no actual sound other than ragged breathing. 
You stared at the ceiling, trembling and a bit boneless, wholly dumbfounded and satisfied. Then, with every ounce of energy left, you sat up, placing a hand on his chest.
“You okay?” 
A rush flooded through you at his question, and you struggled to make sense - to be logical and reasonable. 
“Yeah,” you said quickly, “I just. I…” What was the right wording? You trailed off, eyes focused somewhere beyond him. Struggling, you kept your eyes away. How could you possibly articulate the warmth that had settled over you, the lift in your confusion that had been gnawing at you until this moment? How could you explain feelings that make no real sense? 
“I feel at peace.” A near whisper because your words made it tangible, whatever it was. And really, you did feel lighter. It was as if something weighing on your shoulders had lifted in a way that wasn’t just because of the act that had been performed. 
“Really?” A sharp inhale of his breath. 
You nodded, reaching out to hold his face and running your thumbs along his cheekbones. Father Sylus slowly returned the nod, a tentative but wonderful, hopeful smile quirking up his lips—something bright and genuine, untouched by bitterness or remorse.
Serenity had sunken in with a comforting familiarity. Settling inside, like the feeling of returning home. Like the truth had opened its door. Acceptance and serenity. Understanding. Clarity, even. The knowledge you weren’t as broken or faulty as you thought. 
A moment passed, no words spoken. Then, still breathless and maybe a bit disbelieving, Father Sylus reached out and traced a cross on your brow with his thumb. 
“Did you just -” You blinked, a bit indignant as you huffed. “Did you just…bless me?”
He looked a bit sheepish, hands resting on your shoulders, thumbs rubbing gentle circles along your collarbone. “Guess I did.” With a slight chuckle, he leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on your forehead. 
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Tag list: @celestialforce, @readerxyourbabe, @babyx91
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everythingmp3 · 23 hours ago
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adult Van being your ex lover and trying to get you back - headcanons 𐙚
some detailed thoughts about the scenario of having dated her "casually" for a while until she broke it off bc it got too intense and romantic - only for her to beg for forgiveness after a while. this is narrative in structure, basically a timeline from the first date to where it ended up eventually <3
warnings: nsfw mentions (minors dni), a good amount of emotional lesbian dating drama.
how it all started:
you met on an app, nothing out of the ordinary, but the thing that was unusual, was the Van asked you to meet up after just one day of texting
with other people, she was often the type to leave them on read for a few days before eventually agreeing to a date, but with you she found herself smiling at all your texts right from the start, which was new for her, so just one day after you first texted, she straight up asked "hey would you wanna go out for dinner this weekend?".
your first date was at a nice yet underrated Italian place downtown that she wanted to show you, it was a dimly lit space that was romantic but not overly so and you felt at ease around each other right from the start - you were both insanely nervous the few hours before you met (she definitely felt very sick at one point) but the moment you hugged hello, it felt so natural that all nerves just fell off, replaced by the giddiness of sensing an instant attraction
the evening was lovely, from start to finish. Van made you laugh way more than you had expected, which delighted her immensely and only made her try even harder to win you over completely - she made you try her meal and insisted on you taking a few more bites when it was clear that you really liked it, she never broke eye contact, she leaned closer and touched your hand about an hour into the date when it was clear that you wanted her to - you talked about everything under the sun and lost track of time, sharing a desert and gazing at each other over the table with sparkling eyes, you making her flush whenever you complimented her or looked at her for too long - so by the time you were ready to leave you both felt a shared sense of disbelief like "wow.. this was so nice. I already like you so much."
she offered to drive you home when you told her that you had walked there and once you were parked in front of your house, you both kind of just sat there in silence, a bit nervous, the good kind, smiling to yourselves in the dark before you looked at each other and you told her "I had a really nice time. can we do this again sometime?", she nodded and leaned over to you and said "yes. please." a pause before she added "can I kiss you?", unsure if you would want her to after just one date but you didnt even answer, you just leaned in and gave her a deep, passionate kiss as a response, feeling her smile into it.
your next date was a few days later at a bar, around 9pm, because you had great chemistry and were clearly dying to get your hands on each other, but didnt just wanna make it a hook-up - so you spent about an hour getting tipsy, touching each other under the table, staring into each others eyes and saying overly sweet things like "you’re so pretty.." and "I thought about you a lot this week" before she finally caved and said "should we go back to my place?".
the main thing that made you both obsess over each other was the intimacy you shared. the first time you fucked, you were both out of breath and frantic with desire but it was heavenly - you giggled when you both almost tripped on the way up to her apartment and tore each others clothes off without much elegance, you spent a good amount of time just dry-humping and making out because you were so deeply into each other and really wanted to savor every part of it - moaning pathetically as you both took turns kissing each others necks while grinding and moving, growing unbearably needy and wet from it before you went down on her for the first time.
Van hadn’t told you this explicitly but the second she had her thighs around your head, you realized that your instinct about her had been right: she wanted to surrender. she wasn’t the kind of older woman who only dreamed of dominating her younger partner, she was the type to get most turned on from the idea of you ruining her, so, you used it to your full advantage: eating her out until she was a shaking mess, addicted to her taste, to her sounds, her sensitivity and reactiveness to your touch, and Van thought "yeah, I am fucked. she got me good. this is perfect."
she definitely returned the favor just as eagerly and took her time jerking you off, feeling how wet you’d gotten from eating her out, praising you and lapping it up and kissing and biting your thighs - which was just the beginning of a long night of you taking turns, losing track of time, tribbing and rubbing up against each other, taking little breaks to just kiss and caress each other and catch your breaths. you took a water break before you looked at her and said "do you wanna sit on my face..", which nearly made her choke on her own spit.
you ended the night with your face entirely covered in her juices, blissed out from the feeling of her using you like that, whining and moaning and uttering things like "fuck you feel so good.." while she held your head and rocked her hips against your mouth, already sore from the fucking before but not too sore to absolutely ride herself into oblivion on your tongue. you definitely needed her to do that again, and again and again...
eventually you both fell asleep naked and exhausted around 4 am and both woke up naturally around 10 the next morning. you both laid in bed for a few minutes, smiling almost a bit shyly at how desperate you’d been for each other, both of you turned on from the sight of little hickeys and love bites youd left on the others body - she made you coffee and lent you some of her clothes and asked if youd wanna come over again in the coming days - of course you did.
from then on, you saw each other more and more. sometimes you went on proper dates, like getting lunch and a coffee after or going for a walk and looking at some book stores or thrift shops together, a few times even driving out of the city a bit to see some pretty nature and get fresh air (maybe messing around in public a bit) but a good amount of the time you just came over to her place after school or work and spent the night together, relaxing together, chatting and drinking or watching a film before you inevitably ended up in her bed.
Van definitely liked you more than she said out loud. she did not go on any other dates after she met you, didn’t even talk to anyone else, she was completely focused on you. at first, she thought "oh this is fun, I have a hot girl that I can just call over and have fun with" but a few weeks into it, she realized just how far from casual it all was. she hadnt planned on it, she had gone onto the apps with the goal of finding a way to get off, not to fall in love, but... things were turning out a bit differently..
she started texting you throughout the day, asking you how you were, making sure you were fine, offering you rides whenever you had to be somewhere far from home or had to be picked up. she held you whenever you fell asleep in her bed and comforted you when you were going through something, she wiped your tears when you were embarrassed about crying in front of her, you confided in her and she often gave you little gifts to cheer you up - in general, she gave you way more than you asked for, she was sweet to a degree that shocked even herself.
she is old-fashioned so rather than texting too much, you often called each other, which turned into a sweet ritual: you having her on speaker when you cleaned your room or folded your laundry, her talking to you while making her coffee in the morning and saying "oh come on, you’ll do great" whenever you complained to her about a nerve-wrecking thing you had to master that day. her promising you "how about this, when you get done, text me, I will pick you up and we can go to your restaurant of choice to celebrate, okay?"
Van acted like your girlfriend, right from the start. she didn’t plan on it, it just happened because she liked you so much that none of her usual attempts at keeping her distance even registered to her: she forgot about them all together. you broke down her defenses without even trying and did it so gently that she had no clue, until she was already kind of in love. maybe not just kind of.
it only dawned on her how deep in she was when she started dreading the weeks where you spent more than a few days apart. it scared her, that feeling of "I need her. I need to see her. I miss her so bad." she had a full on crisis and told herself "I cant depend on someone like this. I just can’t."
she freaked herself out and imagined you leaving eventually, all of her old paranoid. avoidant thoughts came bubbling back up, so she spiraled and fucked it up.
how it ended:
about two months into it, after weeks and weeks of you sleeping over at her place, wearing her clothes, spending entire weekends together, you falling for each other and more each minute you were together, she called you over one afternoon and sat you down to talk.
you couldn’t believe it at first when she said "listen. I have really enjoyed this time with you.." because you were so startled by her sudden shift in tone. just a few days before, you had spent the whole night kissing and laughing and there she was, nervously tapping her foot as she tried to tell you it was over, or at least, on ice.
Van said some vague bullshit about "needing some distance" and "not being in a place where a relationship would work" and worst of all that you "deserved better than that". you couldn’t even cry then because it was so shocking - just the night before you had gushed to someone about how safe and held you felt with her -
she said something about seeing each other less, that she wouldn’t cut you off, but you refused let her have any access to you after saying all that - it seemed insulting to you, degrading even, after everything you’d done, you wouldn’t just be her hookup, her play-thing, without the romance you had shared up until then, so you just said "yeah no I can’t do this, I can’t" and walked out of her apartment before you might have thrown up or cried or collapsed or worse, trying to keep your dignity in tact, fleeing the scene.
Van tried to say something like "hey, stop, no I didn’t mean-" as you stormed out but it was too late, she had hurt you too deeply, had crushed your heart, so the moment you were gone, she fell into a self-hatred that was so dark and awful that she didnt open the store for three days after.
Van knew she fucked up BAD. she knew it was just her stupid old urge to push people away the second they had the ability to hurt her, but in the process she had been the cruel one, she had used her fear of vulnerability to make you deeply regret yours and it killed her. she definitely got drunk out of her mind that night to drown out the voices that told her "you didn’t deserve her anyway. she’s better off like this. you’re an awful fucking person. using a girl like that. you deserve to be alone. to die alone."
you were absolutely broken and wrecked to your core from the sudden break-up, you were shattered, so, when she sent you a text the next day saying "I am so sorry, I handled that so badly, can we talk again sometime?" you just said "no. leave me alone, Van. find someone else to fuck." and blocked her number after because you were so hurt in your pride.
you had opened up to her, in a way you hadn’t to anyone else before, you had given her your heart and soul, you had the most intimate sex of your life with her, you talked to her day and night, fell in love with her - the way she seemingly had for you - only for her to ruin it all for no reason other than vague nonsense about not being suited for a relationship, when youd never even asked her for one! part of you wanted to cave and run back to her but you promised yourself to keep your heart guarded from that point on.
the pain was too much. you were too scared of seeing her again and just breaking apart crying, having to be held by her, losing your dignity. you were so devoted to her for two months, you had been convinced that you had found your future girlfriend, that it was only a matter of time, judging by the way she looked at you and kissed you and held you, and you promised yourself to never ever let her have you again.
for a week it was absolute and utter hell. you completely isolated yourself and slept whenever you weren’t busy because you couldn’t face reality while not being distracted - you lost your appetite, ignored calls and texts, stayed inside on the weekend, neglected your chores and just tried to go more than a few hours without crying (it hardly ever worked. once you broke out in tears in the middle of the street because a song that reminded you of her came on)
after that first week, spite and anger took over. you tried to tell yourself that she was just some middle aged loser and that you could find way better than her (that didn’t help at all) - you watched films with actors she hated as a “fuck you” to her but it didn’t work either, it obviously only made you think of her more - you were irritable and pissed off and almost broke a plate once when you stood in the kitchen and remembered how she’d held you in her sleep, how she’d helped you shower when you were sick once, how she had kissed your back all the way down your spine when you laid on her bed face down, how she’d just sat there after doing all that and told you it was “too much” for her. as if she hadn’t been the one to shower you in affection first. as if you’d ever pushed her to do a thing.
about two weeks later you almost unblocked her because you were so miserable and lonely without her, but you were steadfast and just cried your eyes out each night instead, wishing she hadn’t ruined it, hadn’t pushed you away, the memory of her laugh and her scent and her hands all over you and her voice over the phone haunting you and messing with you so horribly that you cursed yourself for blindly falling for her the way you had.
eventually you managed to regulate your feelings somehow but you still avoided walking down the street where you two had always gone to get coffee. you still flinched whenever you saw a woman with long red hair. you still dreamed of her, all the time, hoping and praying that she was being eaten up by guilt. that she regretted it all. that she hadn’t gotten over you already.
how she got you back:
three months after you broke it off, you were sitting at a cafe, doing some work, blissfully unaware of what was about to happen.
Van had just gotten her cup of coffee and thought it would be really weird to sit at a table near you without acknowledging you at first, so she got over her absolute panic and tapped you on the shoulder
for a few seconds you stared at her, not smiling, not frowning, just processing, overwhelmed by the thought "fucking hell. I still love her." the moment you laid eyes on her face, her freckles, her hair, a bit messy but pretty as always, her outfit that was one of your favorites of hers, your whole body buzzed with that old need to reach out and touch.
still, you tried to mask it and just said "oh... hi." as coldly and unfeelingly as you could manage. Van was really nervous and a bit awkward as she said "hey. sorry, I really hope I am not disturbing you. uh, would you mind if I-" she gestured at the seat across from you. you crossed your arms and remained somewhat stoic as you said "sure, yeah", trying to act like her voice wasnt burning your whole body up, wasnt forcing the echo "I missed her, I missed her, I missed her" into your mind.
she sat down and drank from her coffee and cleared her throat, while you just sat there watching, waiting for her to talk because you wouldn’t make it easy for her.
Van started by saying "so, how have you been?" immediately regretting it after, realizing how weird that was to say to someone whose heart you had broken mere months before. you gave her a puzzled look and just said "well, I’ve been better. but it’s fine, nothing much changed since we last spoke." you wanted her to feel bad and she did. she really did. so she cut the small talk and got to what she had wanted to say to you for weeks.
her voice was quiet and low when she said. "okay. listen. I am really glad I ran into you here, because I wanted to apologize, properly. I know that it won’t change a thing and I know you might not wanna hear it but I need you to know that I regret it horribly. what I did. what I said. how I said it. everything. it was just... yeah I was awful to you." she admitted, looking at her hands, not at you. you could tell she meant it, you could hear the hurt in her voice, you almost teared up but you didnt say a word. you waited for the rest.
she went on "and I need you to know that it had absolutely nothing to do with you." and that made you scoff then, laugh almost, but she shook her head and insisted "no please, I mean that, it was my fucking issues, nothing you did", but you interrupted her and said, "Van you do realize that that is insanely hard to believe right? to be cut off like that out of nowhere, after everything we did together, of course that made me feel like fucking shit. like I went wrong somewhere without knowing. of course I have been wondering about what I did wrong, what else would I be doing?".
that made her feel even worse. her eyes went all soft when she saw it written all over your face and she had to stop herself from reaching out to touch your hand. she sighed and thought for a second before changing strategies.
"okay, this is gonna sound so weird but please bear with me. you have never googled me, have you?" she said next, which confused the hell out of you. you shook your head and she said "yeah I figured, because uh... well. you’d have seen something. go on and look up my name for a second, and add the word "yellowjackets"" she told you. you almost asked her to leave and stop the weird shit but you felt generous so you said "okay." and pulled out your phone, curious enough to see what on earth she was referring to.
Van realized that it would take ages for her to explain all of her trauma and all of the reasons why she is fucked up in regards to trust and feeling dependent on someone, why letting herself be open scared her, on a visceral physical level - she knew she wouldn’t be able to find the right words, she’d tried, she’d drafted letters and texts and had despaired over what to say if she ever saw you again, but sitting there she thought fuck it. might as well try this.
you typed in her full name and added "yellowjackets" after - Van watched your face intently, a bit scared, a bit embarrassed and saw it then: your utter disbelief. the search results flashed in front of your eyes: words like "plane crash", "mysterious case", "true crime", "cannibalism", "cult", "miracle", "rescue". a bunch of links to podcasts discussing the case of the plane that crashed in the 90s with a high school soccer team and sure enough her name "Van Palmer" among a bunch of others, again and again, a blurry picture of a young redhead that was obviously her next to other girls.
you couldn’t process it - you silently scrolled through a few articles and skimmed them as she whispered "yeah.... yeah. and I am not making you look at that to use it as an excuse for how I acted, absolutely not, that was my fault, fully. but maybe this sheds a light on why I am... well. you know" - "fucked up" you finished her thought, which made her laugh in relief, the fact that dark humor was still something you were willing to offer her, "yes. exactly."
you hated to admit it but it did make you see things a bit differently then - she’d told you about her mother, her home life, and that horrible nightmare-ish experience on top of her already less than ideal upbringing seemed like an explanation for how she’d acted, why she might have some issues with closeness. it wasn’t an excuse but you could acknowledge that her trauma was uniquely awful: at age seventeen, all of that.
for second you felt like crying, thinking of her at that age, being that scared and hurt. in a way it impressed you almost, that she wasn’t a completely lost cause, that she was so charming and funny and able to put up a tough front. a lot of conflicting feelings swirled around in you then.
her heart beat out of her chest as she watched you process it all but she was also a bit impressed by the fact that you didnt seem scared or disgusted. she was prepared for you to yell at her that she was a fucking freak for keeping that from you, that she was a disgusting person and should leave you alone for good, that you felt deceived, but you did none of that.
you were quiet and eventually put the phone down, looking at her, and shaking your head, sighing, "god. so you lived in the fucking woods for 19 months as a girl and actually survived all that??" unable to believe it. Van nodded and said "yeah... would have been better for you if I had perished out there, huh", which got the first hint of a smile from you. you tilted your head and said "no. it wouldnt have.", genuine, almost as if to say "you idiot. I love you so fucking much." which didn’t escape her.
Van was bold enough to touch your hand then, to hold it and to say "god I am so sorry. really. I thought of you every day, it killed me." she confessed. "so did I." you told her, which only softened her more. she leaned forward and squeezed your hands, whispering "please. you don’t have to forgive me at all but give me another chance. let me make it up to you."
you really struggled then for a second because you had told yourself again and again that she was dead to you, that she would never be allowed to have you again, but looking at her in that evening light, her hair on fire, her face kind and open - actually seeing her again, hearing her, feeling her touch, it made it impossible to deny it: you wanted her back. you wanted her back more than anything.
she seemed genuinely sorry and you knew you would regret it all your life if youd deny yourself a second chance with her, so you nodded tentatively and said "alright. let’s see what you got", which made her smile as if the sun had just come up for the first time since three months of pitch black. she couldn’t believe that youd actually agreed, so she took both your hands in both of hers and kissed your knuckles briefly, while saying "I missed you... I missed you so much."
in that moment you thought about her past, the fact that the woman youd cried over for weeks had been the subject of many articles and podcasts and crime documentaries, and you hadn’t been aware at all - it made you feel an unexpected rush. a sense of power. that someone who apparently had a past of brutality and cannibalism and feral living, had often been so soft and submissive with you, had let you boss her around and manhandle her, had wanted you to. it made your grin to yourself, and she caught it, that you liked it, having someone with a past like that throwing yourself at your feet while begging for forgiveness.
it turned you on, to think that Van was portrayed as a barbaric monster in some of the discussions about her time out there, when she had often surrendered to you, had never tried to overpower you because she liked being your baby, she liked being all weak in private, while seeming tough out in public. she had missed it terribly, she had missed it to a point of almost going insane, the way she had felt in your arms, when you stroked her hair and kissed her, when you gave her exactly what she needed, when you turned her on with just a simple touch.
"so uh" she said then "do you wanna maybe.. come home with me, like.. right now" you agreed and got up with her to leave the cafe and go to her place which was a few blocks away.
as you walked, you definitely teased her about what you had just found out, asking her things like "so. did you guys all have group lesbian stuff going on out there, or..." which she laughed at and said "oh, no, nothing that fun, we were too busy starving and fighting and having freaky religious ideas to all fuck each other. but who knows, maybe I just don’t remember" she was glad to see that you could laugh with her again, that you let her take your arm, that you were amused by her past instead of disgusted or shocked.
"I really fucking suffered you know" you said as you took off your jacket in her apartment "I couldn’t eat for like three days after, I cried so much it started pissing me off, I couldn’t go anywhere because it all reminded me of you. you did me in good" you were in the mood to rub it in a bit, and it worked, she made a sound of pain and looked at you "no, no, stop", but you went on as you sat down on the couch and said "yeah, I was a wreck, you ruined me."
Van joined you and said "if it makes you feel any better if was close to calling 911 on myself not once but twice because I was convinced you could physically die of heartache, so. there’s that." you could tell she wasnt lying, so you said "yeah it does actually", not meaning it, since you hated the idea of her in pain, even when you were cross with her.
you wouldn’t just let her kiss you. you sat close together and she was clearly very desperate to touch you, so you said "beg me for it. I remember you being quite good at that." your tone stern, your eyes never leaving hers, and that made her weak in the knees then.
she flushed and nodded as she leaned closer to you and whispered "I missed you so much, you have no idea. I dreamed of you all the time, all the fucking time, I havent been with anyone since, I couldn’t, didnt want to. I need you to touch me so bad, please. please..." she kissed your cheek, once, twice, a third time, gently, as she caressed your neck, waiting for you to cave. you closed your eyes and soaked it up, being pleaded with. she gave you more, "I will do whatever you want, I will do anything. you can do whatever you want to me."
that was the way to win you over for good, she knew it, you opened your eyes again and took her face in your hands then. you stared at her lips, then at her eyes and said "I should punish you, you know."
instead of protesting Van sighed "please. yes." which made you lean in and breathe against her lips, smiling "yeah?", her whole body hot with sheer need.
Van had always been somewhat of a masochist but with you, right then, it was even more intense because she believed she deserved whatever pain you would make her feel. she craved it. she wanted you to take it out on her. she wanted to repent. you could tell. but you would keep that for another time. in that moment, all you wanted was to have her at your mercy, and you did, so you eventually leaned in and kissed her.
the hours after were a total blur. all of your unspoken feelings bursting out at once, both of you clinging to each other and kissing like you had been separated for years - it was deeply charged and emotional and intense in a way that surpassed everything you’d done before, you almost cried at certain points when you fucked that evening, both of you, because you’d missed it so much. the one upside of all the ache and the hurt over her was that fucking again made you both orgasm in ways that almost scared you in their intensity, similar to your first time of having sex, but so different too, a shared attempt at melting back into each other after your period of almost dying of heart ache over each other.
from that point on Van worshipped the ground you walked on. she had been a sweet lover before but the thrill of you letting her back into your life, opening your heart again, made her feel such a deep sense of gratitude, that she became an even better lover to you, just to prove herself worthy of your grace. she wouldnt lose you again. no way. no way in hell.
the day after getting back together, in the morning, she used a quiet moment to look at you and ask "so. do you want to be my girlfriend." making sure that you knew she was deeply serious about you, that she was not going to back away again, that she wanted you to be hers for good.
you took a second to answer, to make her wait, but then you smiled and said "yes. of course." which made her come over to where you were sitting to tightly wrap her arms around you from behind and kiss your neck, whispering "I love you, I did all along, you know", something neither of you had said before, and she didnt expect you to say it back but you did - you stood up and face her, your hands on her waist "I love you too. so much. it nearly cost my sanity". Van kissed you then and as she felt you give into it and caress her skin under her shirt, she thought of the world "girlfriend" over and over and wondered how she ever convinced herself that that wasn’t exactly what she had wanted all along: you, being hers, all hers.
a bonus, how you had sex after you got back together, including the punishment idea:
you once tied her arms to her bed, to make her watch you as you got off. Van just squirming and whining and growing unbearably wet as she watched you touch yourself - you getting turned on from her gaze burning into your body as you jerked yourself off and gave her a good show, knowing it was killing her that she couldnt touch you or herself - you threw a "you sound pathetic" her way in the middle of it, to try and be mean, but predictably that only turned her on more... you weren’t all that sadistic, so after you finished and untied her, you let her lap up the mess youd made and let her get you off again.
before that though, you pushed your fingers down her throat to make her lick off your cum, but that wasn’t a punishment at all, she sucked your fingers off gladly, and deep down you knew that you were giving her what she needed, that she wasn’t suffering one bit, that she was delighted by your dominance
overstimulation. yeah, god help her... you did that already before but after you got back together, you really got into it: fucking her senseless, leaving her a shaking mess, making her cry from how relentlessly you were pleasuring her - telling her "this is what you wanted, right?" while giving her yet another orgasm, her just taking it and pretending it was too much when it absolutely wasn’t - few things pleased her more than having you manhandle her and get all over her, teasing her, pinning her down, adjusting her position to eat her out from the back while she cried into the pillow and lost her mind.
bruises. you had never been shy with bruising her but after getting back together, you definitely got more aggressive with it, sensing that she wanted it, having a physical reminder of your force - on her inner thighs or her chest or her neck. she loveees it, seeing bruises on her body when she gets dressed, makes her feel claimed <3
on the other hand, when you were on the receiving end, she loved being on her knees, especially during the weeks after you got back together - she loved to have you standing up or at the edge of the bed while she hurt her knees to please you, to eat you out with feverish need, to give you exactly what you needed and to be in a position of repentance. her every touch a way of saying "I love you. I wish I had never hurt you. I will be so good to you from now on. so so good. my baby" and it worked: you were all hers when she got like that, moaning her name and tugging at her hair and letting her take care of you, opening up again, literally.
sometimes you’d sit on the couch and complain about a random ache in your body and she’d immediately be like "I got it" and get you to lay back so she could give you head, whether you were dealing with period cramps or back pain or general discomfort, she would immediately be of service (I think her approach to topping/giving is rather submissive, she just wants to please, that’s it, no need to give orders, she just wants to take them and please, and she does. always.)
you definitely fucked so much during your first week back together that you both got sore from it and had to slow it down... you were starveeeed.
about a month into it, things got settled, you were used to being openly in love by then, being girlfriends - you realized that you had all the time in the world and fell into a comfortable rhythm, both in and outside of the bedroom - you knew each other so well that it came naturally. you also moved into her place eventually <3 and you took a trip together for the first time to get away and have a feeling of a fresh start <3
yeah, thats it 💌
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ninyard · 2 days ago
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I’m really really curious on how riko saw Kevin from his childhood to “adulthood” and how did he switch to be a kinda normal kid from this, was it when he saw nathan killing someone in front of him that created that sick sort of fascination that he have toward this thing or was it another thing ?
This is such a good ask I love thinking about this!! I always wonder at what point in their relationship did their dynamic change from siblings/friends to competitors/abuser and abused. And I think if we take that Kevin’s mom died when he was that little bit older, it definitely changes how their relationship must’ve been in the beginning.
It makes me wonder how Kayleigh and Tetsuji socialised Kevin and Riko together when they were really young. Did they see each other often? Did they know each other well before Kayleigh died, and Kevin moved in?
Let’s take it that they were as close as siblings, and they might as well have been living together with the amount of time Kevin spent with him in training, or time spent together when Kayleigh went abroad for work and couldn’t take him with her. I think the shift in their relationship wouldn’t have happened until after she died, though, until Riko got the idea in his head that Kevin was his. Not Kayleigh’s, not Tetsuji’s, his.
Riko, more likely than not, probably would’ve displayed signs of being unstable in his childhood. Small things that could’ve been brushed off as boys being boys and kids being kids; he would trip Kevin up and pretend it was an accident, eyes almost dazzling at the blood that dotted his grazed knees. Riko would always take the rough play-fighting too far. He would poke his bruises harder than he should, he would embarrass Kevin in front of other people and make it look like it wasn’t intentional.
I just think of some sort of scenario where Riko takes it that step too far; ten, eleven, maybe, and they’re wrestling, rough housing like they do sometimes. Riko decides he wants to try something, he wants to see how it feels - when Kevin has his back turned to him, he locks an arm around his throat and locks him in an inescapable grip. Kevin’s anxious laugh as he struggles out of the chokehold turns into exasperated pleas to let go, this isn’t funny, I’m going to pass out. He lets him fall in a deoxygenated heap just before he passes out, and it’s a minute until he catches his breath again.
“What is wrong with you?” Kevin pushes Riko back when he takes a step towards him. “Why did you do that?”
“I didn’t think you were being serious,” he laughs, a lie, gaslighting, downplaying, whatever you want to call it. ���I didn’t actually hurt you. You’re being dramatic.”
There’s other things after that, small ways he got pleasure out of hurting Kevin; at the time he didn’t know that that was why he was doing it. Maybe he just thought it was funny. Maybe he thought it was a joke. Bending his fingers too far backwards, almost dislocating his shoulder in an arm wrestle, hitting his racquet where he knows it hurts, where he knows Kevin is unprotected.
I don’t think that Nathan’s victim was the first body either of them had seen. Where or who or what they would’ve seen before that, I don’t know, but I don’t know. Maybe that body they saw with Nathaniel was the moment where Kevin realised something was seriously wrong with Riko; how he didn’t look away, or grimace, how he smiled the whole time. How his pupils widened as he watched a man being cut into pieces.
Maybe that was when he took it to the next level, when he truly stopped being afraid of Kevin bleeding at his hands. He knew how much he liked it, he’d seen it right in front of him, but maybe that’s the catalyst for when he stops holding himself back. Permission, almost. Look at what man can do. Look at what you’re capable of.
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notnights · 8 months ago
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Once saw a post from someone whining about when Ragatha isn’t drawn with curves and it disappointingly had a lot of traction and fans agreeing and every now and then I think about it and am like What
It’s ok to let a female character be flat. It’s ok to like a female character with a flat ass even lol.
People will complain about non-diverse body types when it comes to female characters but then turn around and do shit like that with her when given non-conventional designs.
Pomni’s shoulders are wider than her hips. Ragatha is as flat as a board. Gangle. It’s okay to still like them like this god.
Let female characters be cartoony. Let them be proportionally funny.
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longagoitwastuesday · 3 months ago
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I have learnt things about Geto that I wish I could unlearn
#I think I'm getting about the same amount of spoilers as a few weeks ago except now I understand them#But like. I expected so much of him#Seeing gifs of that one scene in which Gojo gets distracted because of Geto almost made me watch this a year ago#Geto was actually my favourite character in that one JJK fanfic I read that I mention so often even if he had literally one scene#I know so much of the emotional turmoil and conflict in JJK and Gojo in particular depends on him#And you're telling me he's Thanos?#I learnt a few days ago that everything pretty much happens in one year. That there's one year between Geto's death and Gojo's#I thought it would be like ten years. Ten years of the act haunting him#But no? So it's not a broken teenager who has these ideas and is killed by another teenager to stop him?#It's a what? ~30yo man saying Light levels of stupidity? Even worse perhaps?#Goodness I hope this is not so. I hope this is better written than what I am seeing#Because goddammit I can't do it. It would kinda ruin every emotional scene from then on?#That one scene I was so looking forwards about patting Gojo's back or whatever. The one in which Gojo gets distracted. It just. I don't know#I won't be able to be moved if Geto doesn't work xD#I was fearing I wasn't going to like him a lot because my expectations were big but oh my god please not like this#This is way worse than I expected. Someone tell me he actually makes sense. What's the point of this whole political play#in which no one is fully wrong and no one is totally right otherwise? What is the point of the haunting. This feels just idiotic xD#And I don't care about the traumas and all that. That works for the teen not the ~30yo man#It would have worked if Gojo would have killed him like 1-2 years after everything not like a few months ago. Last winter#After like ten years a 30yo man should have realised this plan sucks.#Even if it's utilitarian. Who is going to make clothes? Buildings? Streets and railways? Bread??? Go have a talk with Nanami please#We have been told there are not a lot of jujutsu sorcerers. How are you going to fulfill all those needs out of nothing?#And even if it were little by little so the needs could be getting fulfilled little by little too#If you decimate humans won't that cause more curses? I guess he's thinking on the long run but still this plan seems like a mess#I hope it makes more sense than it's looking it will make because of my god this would truly be the last nail on the coffin xD#I am being more and more tempted to get to Utahime and then just drop this. This is breaking my heart xD#It could be soooo good and it always almost is#And then. AND THEN. Abfksbfndbfkan#Jen pick me up. Come solve this. I am scared xD#I talk too much
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horizonandstar · 2 years ago
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wanted to draw borrower au stuff AND im obsessed with my totally real children so i drew them about it together
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transgaysex · 1 year ago
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laying down feels fucking sexual after moving heavy shit around for 5 hours in a row
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luludeluluramblings · 28 days ago
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One thing I always wonder in Neglected! Reader scenarios that I haven’t seen anyone explore is Married/Single Mom! Reader. It’s drama and angst potential.
Like Reader having a boyfriend and getting pregnant while still living in the Wayne manor, and everyone just takes a little too long to figure out. Maybe they do find out early with the morning sickness and whatnot but the thought of Bruce looking at Reader like 6 months pregnant and being like “Wait a minute… 🤨” and Reader wasn’t even trying to hide it that much.
And same scenario except Reader moved out either while pregnant or got pregnant after, Batfam forgets all about them and when fate does bring them together (like the Bruce/Selina wedding concept) she is literally about to pop or has a whole baby with her. Cue Bruce (and later everyone else) losing his shit because omg??? 😧 that’s his first grandchild and he had no idea!!
… And then if the Reader is married in this scenario, makes it all the more complicated (she didn’t invite anyone to her wedding? what do you mean Alfred attended when we had no idea?). Everyone is straight up hostile towards her spouse (Damian, Bruce and Jason are insufferable) and safe to say he won’t be around for long. Single mom Reader though, the amount of emotional manipulation about kids needing a family and father figures and you should move back in so everyone can help with the baby… Yeah.
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Platonic!Yandere!Batfam x SugarBaby!Reader x Older!Husband
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
A/N:OOOOO, I have something I was working on that I was having fun with that you might like!
A/N:Neglected!Reader with Older!Husband. (It's husband because it's based of that meme Your daughter calls me daddy, too. And, Reader is Female, because we're making a baby in here.)
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
You, sweet thing, do the typical thing and run off from home, once you turn the legal age. Checking in with Alfred on occasion, but just living your best life. Only, in typical fashion, all those years of neglect lead to severe daddy issues. And, a minor itty bitty attraction to older men.
You get lucky though because you manage to find a fine one that loves to spoil his baby girl with vacations and spa days. All the best for his baby. He loves taking you places and showing you a good time. So, it's no wonder he plans a Babymoon for you when you're expecting your first child. Anything for you.
Unfortunately, Daddy gets called into work right before the vacation. And, despite you insisting you stay, he makes you go and promises to join you as soon as possible.
(No, the man isn't cheating. He just gotta make the money for his baby.)
You have a good time, pregnant on the beach. Getting massages and spa treatments. Video calling your husband every time the baby kicks and flutters.
Unfortunetly, even though you haven't used the Wayne name since you've been married, some drug lords recognize you and decide to ransom you. Dragging you back to Gotham in your little sundress the just so hides your baby bump.
Gotham media runs with the story. Lost Wayne heiress held hostage. No one is ignoring that.
The bat's pull off a daring rescue, but you being stubborn, try to escape on your own. Fearing for your baby's life if they just happen to chose not to come. They never came when you were little, why would they come now.
You happen to injure yourself while escaping. But, manage to make it to an on scene ambulance while the Bats take care of the thugs. You happen to faint on the way to the hospital, leaving the doctor's discover you pregnancy.
Already the media is surrounding the hospital for the most drama filled story of the year. Thankfully, the paramedics have some compassion in hide the bump when rolling you into the ER.
With the media's attention, your husband flies into Gotham and makes it to the hospital just in time to ask the nurse where you are in front of Bruce.
Bruce, of course, bristles when a man his age burst in the hospital demanding to see you, but is using the wrong last name. The nurse saying only family can see you.
"That's my daughter," Bruce will say. Assuming this man is trying to claim you as his. But, he already did.
Making Bruce, the family, the nurses, the patients, and the reporter who managed to sneak in freeze when he says, "That's my wife."
Imagine the doctor that just finished checking on you and your baby walking in right after announcing that you were both okay. The look on Bruce's face when he realizes that this man, his age, not only married you, but had the audacity to put a baby in you.
Even better, the smug way your husband looks at Bruce when he brushes past him to follow the nurse to your room because husband beats father and you demanded to see him.
The drama that follows is going to be legendary.
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
A/N: I had this idea jotted down and fluffed it up just for this. I'm not sure you wanna know who I had in mind for Reader's husband. (Dude is from another franchise.) But, the thought of him interacting with Bruce as the guy who married Bruce's daughter and knocked her up, delights me in such a visceral way.
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soaps-mohawk · 8 months ago
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Cherry Red, Crimson Blood
Chapter 12: Fire In My Veins
Summary: Your heat begins. Luckily you have a good alpha to take care of you during your most vulnerable time. 
Pairing: Poly 141 x reader
Warnings: NSFW, 18+, smut, oral fingering, p in v sex, unprotected sex, knotting, spanking (it’s like once), fluids so many fluids, heat cycles, mating cycles, lots of talk of breeding and mating, biting, brief mention of blood, this is gross y’all, Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Alternate Universe, a/b/o typical classism and sexism, language, and of course a little fluff
A/N: It was quite the ordeal, this chapter, and it's come a long way from when I first wrote it between Sunday and Monday this week. It's pretty much just smut so enjoy!!
The smut starts after the first scene and goes to the end, so only read up to the first green line if you don’t want the smut. You’re not missing much, just Price biting the reader to claim her, but I’ll talk more about that in the next chapter.
MASTERLIST | <- Previous | Next ->
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“You alright, love?” 
You look up from where you had been staring at the floor, suddenly pulled back into the real world by Gaz’s voice. He had been organizing the nutrient bars and electrolyte bottles in your room while you sat and dissociated to the sound of rustling paper bags. 
You stare at his furrowed brows and worried eyes for a moment before averting your gaze with a nod. “Yeah.” 
The carpet under your feet has never looked quite so interesting before.
Gaz moves to sit next to you on the bed, sinking down onto the mattress with a sigh. “Nervous?” 
You nod in response, clutching the strawberry pillow in your arms tighter against your chest. 
“You’ll be alright.” Gaz says, his hand warm as it presses against your back. “I’m gonna take good care of you, yeah? Both you and Price. I’ll be right outside that door, and I’ll be in and out too. Dr. Keller’s ready in case something happens, but I don’t think anything will.” He wraps his arm around you, pulling you close against him. “You’re in good hands.” 
“There’s no going back after this.” You say, leaning into his side. 
“No, I don’t think any of us would want to anyway.” He smiles down at your surprised face. “What? I thought that was obvious. We all want you as part of our pack. You are part of the pack already, at least in every way but officially. None of us would trade you for anything.”
Your eyes fill with tears at his words. You know it’s just the stress and the hormones and the impending heat that could start at any time, but his words reach some deep part of you that was worried that they were all faking, that they all actually hated you. His words calm you a bit, easing away that stress and fear that you’ve been carrying for the last almost six weeks. 
“Come now, none of that.” Gaz says, wiping the tear that trails down your cheek. “Can’t afford getting dehydrated now.” 
You can’t help but laugh, even though you know he’s right. You’ve had so much liquid over the last couple days you feel as though you might burst at any second. It was necessary, considering the amount of fluid you were about to lose. 
Gaz leans down, kissing all over your face. You giggle, falling back on your bed to try and escape, but he follows you, continuing to plant little kisses all over your face and neck. 
“Kyle!” You shriek, giggling as his kisses tickle your skin. 
He pauses, leaning up so you’re eye to eye, a grin on his face. “You called me Kyle.” 
“That is your name, isn’t it?” You say, blinking up at him. 
“Yeah.” He chuckles. “You can call me Kyle as much as you’d like, love.” He says as he leans down, pressing his lips to yours.
You wrap your arms around his neck, holding him in place as you kiss him back. His arm snakes beneath you, pressing you tightly against his chest. He groans quietly into your lips, body taught against yours. You can feel every part of him, the muscles under his shirt, the strength of his thighs. Your head is spinning, and you know it’s mostly due to your impending heat. 
You let out a quiet whine as his lips leave yours, trailing down your neck to your shoulder. He leaves a scalding kiss over your scent gland, nipping playfully at the sensitive skin. 
“Can’t wait to see the mark,” He murmurs against your skin, a quiet whimper leaving your lips as your body begins to warm a little. “When Price claims you, makes you his.” 
“Fuck.” You breathe, a shudder running through your whole body. 
Kyle chuckles, sucking a mark on your collarbone. “You won’t be just his, though, huh? Gonna be ours.” 
You let out a whine at his words, your fingers trailing up the back of his neck. He lets out a quiet groan, his body shuddering as you tease the sensitive skin. You feel lightheaded and dizzy from the rapidly shifting hormones of your pre-heat. You’re very close to the start. Any day now you could wake in a sweat with an insatiable ache between your thighs. You're like a ticking time bomb, but neither of the demolition experts you now live with can disarm you. 
If only it could be so easy. 
Kyle presses one last kiss to your lips before he pulls back, smiling down at you. “You’ll be alright. I’ll make sure of it.” 
You can’t help but believe him, especially with those big brown eyes staring down at you. 
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It’s sweltering. A fire has started beneath your skin, flames licking your veins, your very cells scorching in the fiery inferno that has overtaken you. An arid desert has bloomed in your mouth, your tongue heavy and sticky. Sweat has slicked your skin, consciousness only bringing awareness to the dampness of your sheets and pajamas. 
It also brings awareness to the pain. 
There’s an intense ache between your legs, your pelvis cramping. Slick has coated your thighs, soaking through your pajama pants, the fabric clinging to your skin. It’s too much, the sensations of your pajamas and the weight of the blankets nearly driving you to insanity. You need to be bare. It’s too hot and the drag of the fabric across your skin makes you want to cry. 
Not to mention the intense need burning through you. 
The mattress protector crinkles as you shift on the bed, every movement taking an excess amount of energy as you attempt to tug your shirt off with fumbling fingers. It’s like you’re moving in slow motion, your arms heavy and sluggish as you peel the fabric from your sticky skin, letting it fall to the floor. You lay there exhausted, body twitching as your temperature begins to spike. You blindly reach out, fingers trembling as they grasp at your phone. Your eyes are bleary as you blink rapidly at the too bright screen. You fumble with clumsy fingers on the screen, dialing the first number you see, not caring who it is.
“Hello?” 
You let out a quiet whine at the rough voice, thick with sleep. You can’t get your mouth to move, to form any words as you lay there pathetically, half undressed and soaked in sweat and slick. There’s an ache between your thighs, pulsing in time with your heart. Your free hand fumbles with your waistband, desperate to try and get your pants down, to remove the feeling of your underwear sticking to your slick folds. 
“Help.” You manage a single word, not even sure it was intelligible. You let out a frustrated whimper, your body not cooperating to lift your hips so you can pull down your pants. 
A moment of silence passes before you get a response. “Fuck, be right there, love.” 
The line clicks, and a moment later a door is opening down the hall. You’re silently grateful you hadn’t locked your door last night, as there was no way you would be able to get out of bed and make it across the floor. It opens just enough for the figure to slip in before he closes it, not wanting to let your scent freely flow down the hallway. 
The light of the lamp on your nightstand accosts your eyes as it’s turned on, making you squint. You don’t miss the way Kyle’s nose crinkles for a moment as he catches the sickly sweet, overwhelming aroma of your scent as it pours from your body. His hand is cool against your forehead as he brushes the stray strands of hair sticking to your skin back. Johnny had braided it last night at least to try and keep it out of the way. 
“Easy.” He says quietly, shushing you as you whimper in need. 
You let out a whine as Kyle pushes the blankets out of the way. You’re incapable of caring that you’re half naked in front of him for the first time, and he pays it no mind. You tug uselessly at your pajama pants again, letting out a frustrated whine as you fail to shimmy them down your legs again. Kyle bats your hands away, slipping his fingers under the waistband and tugging the pants down your legs. You sigh in relief as the fabric is pulled away from your skin, a shiver running through you as the cool air hits your slicked folds. 
Kyle gathers your clothes, adding them into the bag of things that would need to be washed as soon as your heat is over before he returns to your side. 
“I need you to drink something for me, then I’ll go get Price, alright?” He says, kneeling down next to the bed as he grabs the electrolyte drink from your nightstand. 
You flop against his chest as he slips an arm around you, helping prop you up. Your face presses into his neck, inhaling deeply. A whine of disappointment leaves your lips as you realize he’s not what you need, your omega dissatisfied with the scent of beta emanating from him. 
“I know.” He says, easing you away from his neck. “Just drink this first and then you can have your alpha.” 
“Alpha.” You whimper, leaning against Kyle’s chest. 
He helps you drink some of the sweet liquid, and you gulp it down, relieved as it eases some of the dryness in your mouth. He lets you drink half of the bottle before he pulls it away, setting it on the nightstand. 
“Good girl.” He praises you, helping you lay back down against your pillow. “I’ll go get Price. I’ll get your alpha.” 
You hum contently at the promise of what’s coming, your omega practically screaming for her alpha, for some relief. 
Kyle slips back out the door, your head buzzing as the intense arousal and need burning within you gets stronger. Your pussy is pulsing, slick dribbling out of you as the need to mate takes over. The primordial instinct to reproduce is strong, your omega clawing at your mind, screaming to be bred, screaming to be bred, to carry pups. You need your alpha. You need his knot. 
You roll onto your stomach, pressing your hips into the mattress. You need something, anything to ease the aching pulse in your body. You begin to rut against the sheets, dragging your clit against the rough fabric. You let out a quiet whine as the friction sends pleasure shooting through you, a slight relief from the pain of your intense arousal. 
The door opens, your head shooting up as the heavy scent of alpha washes over you. Your eyes dilate, a shudder traveling from your head to your toes as the familiar scent of damp earth laced with the musk of arousal invades your senses. You let out another whine as John approaches the bed, your hips still rutting desperately against the sheets. You look utterly ruined, wide eyed and sweat-slicked, panting like an animal in heat. 
You are an animal in heat. 
“Look at you.” John mumbles, his voice rumbling deep in his chest. He stands over you, watching the desperate movements of your hips for a moment. “Needy little thing.” He teases, setting his phone on your nightstand before tugging his shirt over his head. 
You watch as every inch of skin is revealed to you, lips parting as you take him in. The strength of his muscles, the softness of his stomach. You want to lick every inch of him. You want to roll around in his scent, cover yourself in his essence, mark every part of your body with him. 
You arch into his touch as he drags a hand down your back, rough fingers following the line of your spine. You press your ass into his hand as he passes over it, fingers tugging your thighs apart. He groans again as a wave of your thick, sweet scent washes over him. 
“Let me see you.” He growls, sweatpants hitting the floor. 
You hear him, but you’re too busy staring at him in awe. More slick slips out of you at the sight of his cock, red and angry and painfully hard already. You can almost swear it’s pulsing in time with your pussy. A harsh gasp is pulled from your throat as he brings his hand down across your ass, the sound of skin striking skin loud enough to pull you back to reality. 
“I said, present for your alpha.” He says, the rough rumble of his inner alpha coating the edges of his voice. 
You whimper in response, scrambling up onto your hands and knees like a good omega for him as he kneels on the bed behind you.  
“Good girl.” He rumbles, a pleased whine leaving your lips at his praise. 
You push back into his hands as he cups your ass, his hand smoothing over the burning spot on the cheek he’d slapped. You can’t feel the pain from it, far too lost in your heat-riddled brain to register anything but the need pulsing between your thighs and the alpha staring at your soaked pussy. Thumbs part your folds, slick dribbling onto the sheets as he stares at your pussy. 
“So fucking slick for me.” He groans, dragging a thumb along your slit. 
“For you alpha!” You gasp, pressing back harder against his hands. 
A low growl rumbles in his chest as he drags his thumb through your folds again, pressing the digit against your clit. Your gasp is broken by a whimper, your clit already sensitive from you humping against your bed like a needy pup. You bend your top half down, relaxing against the mattress as you grind back against his hand. He lets you, keeping his hand still as he lets you work yourself to pleasure on your own. 
“Please! Please!” You beg, mind going numb with pleasure as his thumb brushes your clit with every rock of your hips. Your legs are already shaking, body trembling as the pleasure starts to build and build, the promise of relief coming at the hands of your alpha. 
“Eager little thing,” He rumbles, his breath fanning across your folds. 
You moan as his tongue drags along your slit, tasting your slick. Your fingers sink into the sheets, holding on as his tongue prods your entrance, his mouth slurping at the slick dripping from you. It’s obscene, but either of you care, both of you too lost in your need. 
Your knees nearly give out, your pussy clenching around his tongue as he applies more pressure against your clit, drawing slow circles with his thumb. He’s groaning against you, the quiet sound rumbling deep in his chest. He’s losing his own sanity, his alpha taking over as your heat triggers his rut instincts. His alpha has to be screaming as much as your omega is to mate. 
Your orgasm hits you suddenly, washing over you with a power that almost makes you black out. Slick spills out of you as your pussy flutters, soaking John’s face and beard in your juices. He’s relentless, not giving you even a second as he continues to fuck you with his tongue as his thumb rubs tight circles on your clit. Your legs are shaking, eyes rolling as the pleasure continues to build. Despite your orgasm, it’s not enough. Your brain knows it and your body knows it. You need a knot before you’ll be able to relax, before the pain and the need fades enough for your brain to relax. 
Even then, it will only be for a moment. 
“Alpha!” You whine, pushing back against his face, seeking out more. 
John growls against your pussy, the sound vibrating into your very soul. You let out a whimper in response, clutching at the sheets desperately. He pulls away from your pussy, licking his lips. You wish you could see him, the way his face shines with your slick, his beard soaked with your release. He licks his lips, savoring every last taste of you he can get as he sinks his fingers into you. 
You clamp down around the thick digits, a groan leaving his lips as you squeeze around him. You’re desperate for another orgasm, another chance at relief from the blazing inferno under your skin, the painful need still pulsing in your pelvis. 
“Please, alpha!” You whine, bucking back against his hand. “Hurts.”
He shushes you, continuing to fuck you with his fingers. The wet squelch of your pussy is loud in the small room, obscene and depraved, but you cannot bring yourself to care who might be able to hear as another orgasm rushes through your body. You whine in pleasure as slick dribbles out around his fingers, forced out by the fluttering of your walls. You can’t stop, don’t stop, as you continue to rock back against him. He watches you, holding his hand still as you fuck yourself on his fingers. You’re still desperate for more, still needing the one thing he won’t give you yet. 
He pulls his fingers from you, making you whimper at the sudden emptiness. Your pussy is still pulsing with the aftershocks of your orgasm, still trying to clench around nothing. John curses as he drags his fingers through your folds, spreading your slick and your release across the sensitive skin. 
“Tell me what you need.” He rasps, the edges of his voice harsh as his alpha begins to take over.
“Need your knot, alpha.” You whine, pushing your hips back, searching for anything that might offer some more relief. “Please.”
He lets out a pleased rumble, shifting behind you. You bite your lip in anticipation and excitement, your body twitching as his rough hands smooth over the skin of your hips. His touch is electric, amplified by the sensitivity brought on by your heat. You want to feel him against you, you want to feel him inside of you. You need him, every fiber of your being, every cell in your body reaching out to him, inviting him in. 
A quiet mewl escapes you as he drags the head of his cock through your folds, gathering your slick on his hard length. Your entire body flutters in anticipation as he pushes against your entrance, meeting no resistance as he presses into you. Your body aids him, relaxing around him as it welcomes the intrusion. There’s no pain, no discomfort as he stretches you open, aided by the copious slick that still seeps out around his cock. You practically shudder in relief as you finally get what you want, what you need. 
Your alpha’s cock inside you. 
His grip is tight on your hips as he begins to move, rocking his own hips as he presses deeper into you. He shifts his legs around yours, pressing himself closer until he’s flush against your ass. You can feel him deep inside you, and you’re almost certain you could see it if you looked. You brace yourself against the bed, instinct taking over as you begin to move with him, rocking back to meet his thrusts. It’s lewd, the sound of skin slapping skin as he sets an almost frantic pace, sharp thrusts accentuating the wet squelch of your pussy around him, and the sound of his hips meeting your ass. 
His fingers dig into your hips almost to the point of pain, but you don’t care. You’re far too lost in your instincts, and the pleasure, to care much about anything. The hormones and endorphins block it out, only one thought on your mind, playing on repeat. 
Knot knot knot knot.
You moan loudly as Price ruts into you, not caring who might hear, or who can hear. Price moans and growls, the sweetness of your scent blocking out all thoughts except how much he needs to breed you, how much he needs to be a good alpha and take care of his omega. 
You just want to be a good omega for your alpha. 
You cum again with a cry, pussy fluttering around his cock as more slick dribbles out of you, soaking the sheets below you. John doesn’t stop, save for a slight falter of his thrusts as you squeeze around him tightly, your pussy trying to milk his own orgasm from him. Your body is shaking, his hands the only thing keeping your hips upright as more and more pleasure continues to build despite now three orgasms that have rocked through you. 
You need him to cum, you need him to fill you up with his knot. You need to feel the warmth of his seed inside you, the heaviness of it as it fills you. Drool begins to pool on the sheets below your face, adding to the mix of fluids soaked into your already damp sheets. John’s pace never falters, even as sweat begins to build on his brow, sliding down the sides of his face. You want to lick it, follow the trail of salty liquid as it falls down his neck and onto his chest. 
Sweat drips from your own skin as another orgasm begins to build. You can tell John is close too as his grip tightens on your hips, the pain registering just for a moment at the back of your mind. You’ll forget it by the time your heat ends, the momentary pull to awareness lost in the haze of mindless pleasure and a need to mate. 
“C’mon.” John growls, his hand wrapping around the back of your neck. “Give it to me.” 
You let out a whine, knowing what it is he wants, what it is you need as you push yourself back up onto shaking arms, the adrenaline the only thing giving you the strength to move. John moves your braids to the other side of your neck, his chest pressing against your back. It changes the angle of his thrusts as he grinds against you, the swelling at the base of his cock catching on your walls as he continues to thrust deeply into you. 
“Please,” You whimper, bearing your neck to him as he kisses along the line of your shoulder. “Please alpha. Wanna be yours.” You whimper, arching into him in an attempt to get closer as his teeth drag across your skin. 
“My good omega.” He growls, teeth nipping at the sensitive skin right next to your scent gland at the junction of your neck and shoulder. “My good girl. Gonna take my knot like a good omega? Let me fill you up with pups as I make you mine?” 
You let out a high pitched whine at his words, trying to press your neck closer to his mouth. “Please, alpha! Please! Wanna be a good omega!” 
He curses under his breath, his arm wrapping around your body to hold you up. His knot presses into you, stretching you open as it continues to swell until he’s locked inside you. You cum around his knot at the sensation of being filled so completely, his hips continuing to grind against you as he chases his own orgasm. 
You nearly black out as his teeth sink into your skin, the pinch lasting only for a second before pleasure rushes through you. You let out a loud, high-pitched sound as he claims you, marking you as his forever. Another, sudden orgasm slams into you, his arm holding you still as you try to writhe on his knot. He growls into your skin as he stills, hips jerking against your ass as he cums inside you. 
Your arms give out as he releases your shoulder, blood dripping onto the sheets below you. Your head is spinning as he drags his tongue across the raised skin, cleaning the mark he’s left on you. 
He shushes you as you let out little whimpers and whines, gently easing your body so you’re laying flat against the bed. “Easy, that’s my good girl.” He praises you, pressing gentle kisses against your neck. “My good omega. Take my knot so well.” 
Your vision slowly fades to darkness as exhaustion takes over, a small smile tugging at your lips from his praise. 
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His eyes are dark and glazed as he stares up at you, mouth parted as he breathes heavily. Your head is thrown back, the sweetest little moans and whimpers leaving your lips as you bounce on his cock. His hands hold your hips, far too tight to be comfortable against your sweat-soaked skin as he guides your movements, but you offer no complaint. His thighs are soaked with your slick and a mix of fluids that seems to endlessly drip from you. Your own thighs are shaking around him, exhaustion prevalent in your sloppy movements. You’re close, eyes fluttering as your grip tightens on his shoulders. Your nails bite into his skin but he doesn’t care. He can’t feel much of anything but pleasure at the moment. 
He guides you through your orgasm as it rocks through you, your body shuddering around him. His hips press up against yours as he reaches his own end, spilling into you as his knot locks into place, connecting you two once again. He doesn’t know how long it’s been, nor does he care. All he wants is to be inside you, fucking his seed into you until you’re swollen with it. He stares down at where you’re connected for a moment, your pussy spread open around his knot.
He guides you against his chest as your body gives out, the haze of his instincts lifting just momentarily. His body aches, soreness settling in as his mind clears. You lick at his throat, tasting his sweat-slicked skin. Sweet little whimpers and whines leave your lips as you rest against him, completely boneless and at his mercy.
He reaches over to the nightstand, wrapping an arm around you to hold you still so he doesn’t tug on the knot as he grabs the bottle of electrolytes. He unscrews the cap, gently easing you back. You’re both still breathing heavily as he cradles the back of your head with one hand, helping you drink the electrolytes. You gulp it down even in your exhausted state, your body recognizing its need for sustenance. 
He drinks the rest after you finish, tossing the bottle onto the floor with the others. He picks up one of the nutrient bars, peeling the wrapper off before he begins to eat, feeding you bites of it as he does. You’re half asleep, chewing slowly as you rest against his chest, body still trembling slightly from the aftershocks of another of what’s now a countless number of orgasms. 
He gives you the last little bit of the bar before he relaxes back against the headboard, keeping his arms wrapped tight around you. The skin on your shoulder is still angry and slightly swollen from his claiming bite. It doesn’t help that he’s sunk his teeth into that spot twice now since he first claimed you. 
He swells with pride upon seeing it, the proof that you’re now his, a warning to others not to mess with you. It’s a slight weight off his shoulders. He has to worry less about someone trying something. Some haughty, cocksure alpha getting it through his head that he wants what he can’t have, that he can just take what’s not his. A low growl rumbles through his chest at the thought. 
He shushes you as you stir in response to the warning growl, a purr rumbling through his chest as he eases you back into a relaxed state. His good little omega, his sweet little omega, taking his knot so well. 
You make a quiet noise as he twitches inside you, the feeling of being enveloped in your tight heat almost like heaven. He closes his eyes, calming his inner alpha. He knows you need to rest. You need a little break before you start up again, before your heat continues to ravage you. 
Before he continues to ravage you. 
NEXT ->
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Taglist:
@bobaprint @ashy-kit @anunintentionalwriter @mockerycrow @hayleybarnesx @protokosmonaut @fruitymoonbeams-blog @blue-blue0 @hindi-si-ikay @thatonepupkai @redwites @kattiieee @141trash @lothiriel9 @dillybuggg @beebeechaos @konigsmissedbeltloop @kaoyamamegami @idkkkkkkk8363 @wallwriterstuff @smile-child-13 @anomiatartle @dangerkittenclaws @bless-my-demons @mystic60 @evolutionarry @red-hydra @lunaetiicsaystuff @linaangel @codsunshine @thriving-n-jiving @slayerx147 @ferns-fics @spicyspicyliving @cityoffallencrows @ttsbaby01 @heeheehoohoohahahihi @sleepyoriana @ihatethinkingofnames10 @cassiecasluciluce @darling006 @sheep-from-rad @ohgodthebogisback @willow-sages @scythemood @daniblogs164 @mirzamsaiph 
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pyrrhiccomedy · 5 months ago
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If you have the time, I have a physics question that has been breaking my brain. What exactly is energy?
I've tried so hard to wrap my head around it but even all the engineering dads of youtube can't make me understand.
The thing with physics is that the simpler something is, the harder it is to put it into words. Energy is almost as simple as it gets. The textbook definition of energy is just "the capacity for something to move against a force," but that's not satisfying, because it's too simple. So let's try something else.
Think back to the Big Bang. What was the Big Bang made of?
Particles, right? Just a lot of particles. We didn't even have hydrogen yet, that would take about 400,000 years. In fact for the first few microseconds, we didn't even have protons and neutrons and electrons, we just had quarks and gluons. The stuff of the Big Bang - the stuff you could touch - was just particles.
Where did those particles go?
You know: into stuff. Everything around you is made of those particles. I mean, by weight, less than 1% of all matter in the universe is solid stuff, but you get it, right? The planets and the stars and dark matter and black holes and penguins and sunflowers and you and me are all made out of those particles.
But the Big Bang wasn't just "a bunch of particles." "A bunch of particles" would just...sit there. If the singularity behind the Big Bang was just a bunch of particles, it would just be, like, a marble, or a block of tofu. It wouldn't have done anything.
Part of the difficulty of understanding energy is that we thought it was a substance for so long. Like, from the time when fire was put into the same category as earth, wind, and and water as one of the classical elements, up until, like, the 1850s. And talking about it like it's a substance and thinking about it like it's a substance is a tough habit to break. But it's not a substance. The Big Bang WAS only "made of" those particles. There wasn't anything else there. Physically it was just particles.
Those particles just had personal qualities. Like having a charming personality, and a good sense of humor. Intangible qualities. Two of them, specifically.
Their qualities were hot and fast. And hot is just fast but small! So really they only had one quality: an absolutely fucking stupid amount of FAST.
We've already covered where the particles went. That's all the stuff you see when you look around.
So where did the fast go?
That's energy. The single personal intangible quality possessed by the particles at the moment of the Big Bang. And energy can never be created or destroyed, right? So the fast isn't gone. All of the particles had fast, and so when they spread out, they took the fast with them, as they turned into atoms and chemicals and stuff.
All of the energy in the universe is just the fastness from that single moment of ignition, transforming and transforming into different expressions of motion.
Hope this helps.
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mywritersmind · 1 month ago
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LET THEM SEE - LN4
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summary : The paparazzi can’t seem to stay away from Lando. He’s had enough after being caught with you on a balcony in paris.
listen up : no warnings!! pretty sweet and short <3 tiny amount of smau!
word count : 435
⋆。‧˚⋆
“Fuck- Lan.” I sigh, turning on the balcony and looking into our hotel room. “Forget you’re famous sometimes.” I wipe my mouth, Lando just kissed me and I know for sure the paparazzi got it.
I watch him confidently lean against the railing, in only a towel. I’m much more covered in a fluffy robe and a lush towel on my head. He just turns his head towards me, I roll my eyes at his look, “I thought you didn’t want to be seen with me. This is sort of ruining that.”
He mimics my eye roll, lazily moving closer to me and placing his hands on each side of me, leaning down, “Let them see us.”
“Lando.” I give a stern look, pretending my cheeks aren’t getting hot.
“We can go inside and it’ll be posted that I'm with some random girl. Or…” He leans in closer, a smirk playing at his lips.
“Let them see us.” I whisper and he scrunches his face again, I laugh but he’s already kissing me.
I hear the snaps of the cameras, hear Lando’s muffled chuckle against me.
He pushes his lips against me harder, his hand moving to my clothed waist.
I barely realize that he’s spinning me around and lifting me up, his arms around my waist as I scream at the sudden movement.
His face is buried in my neck, kissing it as I giggle and flip off the cameras. He backs up into our room, shutting the sliding door with more force than he intends and setting me now.
“You love stirring up shit.” I lay back on the back, unraveling the towel on my head.
He bites his lip, looking down at me like i’m a treat. “Maybe. But it’s my shit to stir.” He climbs over me, the towel on his waist loose so my eyes stray down.
“Yours?” I giggle as he continues to kiss my neck, he mumbles a yes into my skin, his hands slipping under my robe and getting lost on my body.
⋆。‧˚⋆
F1GOSSIPTODAY
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liked by lanfan44 and 2,027 others… f1gossiptoday BREAKING!! Lando Norris has been seen around Paris with a mysterious second on his trip. Photos have confirmed his friend is up and coming model Y/n L/n after the two were seen kissing on their hotel balcony! The two were shown laughing and making a certain crude gesture to the cameras before going back to their hideaway. This has many people in an uproar but their shippers are definitely having a good day!
@Lanfan44 : HOLY SHIT
@ y/nforever : WHAT THE HELL ITS ACTUALLY REAL MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED
↳ @cheezeylan : BEST DAY OF MY LIFE ACTUALLY
@ maxfewtrell : @ landonorris THIS is how I find out?? jeez you’d think we’re not friends🙄
↳ @ formulag!rl : HAHHAHA
↳ @norstappenloser : LMAO CLOCK HIS TEA
@nickipia81 : okay why is this the first thing i see #imsosinglewtf
@f1maxanddanny : snooze who cares
↳ @ charlesleclerc : me
↳ @ maxverstappn : me
↳ @ alexalbon : me
↳ @ oscarpiastri : me
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majinbangus · 2 months ago
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happy birthday little simon
"You're inviting me to the lad's birthday?"
At this point in time, he kind of expects to get a knock on his door more times in a week than he ever did during the entire duration he's lived in this flat. Most weekdays- when you leave for work and drop off your lad at school- the boy likes to make a quick stop to say good morning. It's become somewhat of a routine. Sometimes it's a sleepy greeting, but little Simon is a cheerful child who has taken an odd liking to him, and vice versa.
"If you can make it."
Then there's you. The sunny child's mother. An easy presence to be in. Refreshing like the ocean breeze during a calm day. Something addictive he can't get enough of.
"When is it?"
This is new. You switched up the routine by coming a second time at midday after he returned from the gym, freshly showered. You faired better when he opened the door compared to that one time. Granted, he was fully dressed, but it was a little disappointing; however, you did have a reason for visiting.
He could tell by the tension surrounding your eyes. Focused like you were on a mission. He supposes you technically are on one. Inviting Simon to your boy's birthday.
"Saturday."
He furrows his brows. "This Saturday?"
"Yes."
"That's tomorrow."
"I know it's a bit last minute, but..." You sigh, running a frustrated hand over your face, frowning at the ground. "No one RSVP'd."
"No one?" Simon nearly growls, offended on the lad's behalf. "What about his friends? The little fuckers don't want to come?
You purse your lips, crossing your arms. "We sent out invites to all his classmates, but ever since we moved, Simon's been having trouble making friends."
"He has trouble?"
"It's not his fault!" You snap before grimacing, lowering your voice, "Sorry, it's just... Simon tries to make friends, but kids are mean, you know? They're young, but they already have their established friend groups and exclude him because he's new."
New. Different. Any reason along those lines. It doesn't matter to kids. Or it does, and that's why they're unjustly cruel to their peers. He understands. Simon grew up with many of his schoolmates avoiding him for being 'weird', not knowing his home life. Tommy had 'friends' but they weren't exactly a good crowd.
"So you want me to come?" Simon asks, and he's met with a tired expression he's never seen on you before—not even when you were sick and weak and needed to be looked after. You look as if you hold the weight of the world on your shoulders, about to collapse.
"He tries not to let it get him down, but if no one shows up..." You bite your lip, a flash of pain in your eyes at the thought of your son hurting. "Please? He likes you, and even if you're the only one who shows up, it'll mean a lot to him."
Simon looks at you. Really looks at you and takes in the desperation in your eyes. You look as if you'd do anything to convince him to come. Even fight him. Tie him up. Anything to drag him to your son's party. You'd probably do it, mother bear that you are.
But you don't need to do that. You won't ever have to fight another battle. Not if he can help it. Simon will fight your battles for you from now on.
"I'll come."
You have his devotion. You and your boy.
"Really?" You brighten up, the hopeless look in your eyes washing away.
He nods. "I'll bring a mate with some brats around your lad's age. They're friendly. They'll like him."
"Will they? Are you sure your friend will be okay with it?"
"They will, and the bastard owes me one, anyway."
No, he doesn't, but Johnny will pull through. Him and his seemingly endless amount of nieces and nephews, although he'll only need to bring a few.
A wide smile breaks out on your face, bright like the sun, and oh- that's where your boy got his grin. Without warning, you leap into his arms, forceful enough to make him grunt. You hug him, burying your face into his shoulder with Simon's hands hovering at your waist, fingers twitching.
It's rare to catch him off guard. So many new sensations fill his senses. Your warmth, surrounding him like a blanket; your scent, sweet and calming with a freshness to it that makes him want to bury his face into your neck and inhale. Or maybe he would bite into your soft skin to see if you taste as pleasant as you smell. If he wasn't so controlled, he probably would sate his curiosity right now.
You stiffen, your body tensing as if you're aware of what you've done, and move to back away, but Simon stops you, resting his hands on your hips. You gently melt your body against his again.
"Thank you, Simon," You softly murmur into his shoulder. It's a quiet sound, but he hears it and lets his arms wrap you in a full hug. You melt against his body, sighing. He doesn't think he's ever felt so warm before. "And just so you know... it means a lot to me, too, that you're coming."
-
Simon: > Johnny
Johnny: > Yeah, lt?
Simon: > You busy tomorrow?
Johnny: > Yes? > I have a date with that bonnie piano teacher I told you about > ... why
Simon: > Cancel it > Have something I need you to do
Johnny: > Work related?
Simon: > No
Johnny: > Then why can't you do it?
Simon: > I'm already on it > Cancel your date
Johnny: > Then why do you need me? > I'm not gonna cancel my date you dobber
-
"Cannae believe ye made us come all the way to fuckin' Manchester. Do y'know how many fuckin' hours ye made us drive, Ghost? The wee ones didnae like gettin' up so arse fuckin' early, either-"
"Shut up, Johnny. You owed me one."
"I didnae?!"
A giggle from Soap's bonnie piano teacher. "You're accent thickens when you're upset, John."
"Today was supposed to be our date!"
"It's not so bad. I still get to spend time with you."
"... Guess not, but I'll take you out proper tomorrow, promise."
"See, Johnny? Everyone wins."
"Awa’ an bile yer heid, Ghost."
-
Despite all his complaining, Johnny is a good guest and keeps the children entertained, playing the part of the fun uncle by letting the kids wrestle or play tag with him, not minding the grass stains as they roughhouse in the park. Currently, he's playing an informal football game with them—six vs. one. He's mostly blocking the ball from entering the goal, but it's still fun for all of them.
Little Simon is extra happy with his new friends. He's been smiling nonstop since they all introduced themselves, grin extra proud when he revealed his name.
("Like Uncle Simon's?"
"Yeah, he says it's a fine name!")
You also haven't stopped smiling ever since they arrived. Not quite as big as your boy's grin, but it still hasn't left. You and Soap's date get along swimmingly, too. He can already tell you'll be good friends with the teacher.
"Not gonna join them?"
Simon looks to see you standing next to him under the tree, watching the children as Soap 'misses' a shot from one of his nephews.
"Where's your friend?" He asks instead.
"Went looking for a bathroom." You gesture vaguely in the direction Soap's date disappeared off to. "So, not gonna play?"
He shakes his head. "Johnny's got it."
"Oh?" The suspiciously innocuous tone makes his eyes narrow. "Is it because he's the better footballer between you two?"
Simon slowly turns towards you, glaring with no real heat, but it still doesn't stop your panicked giggle when he takes a half step in your direction, making you back up against the tree. He gets closer and leans into your space, nearly brushing his front against yours. You audibly gulp, and Simon places a palm on the tree, hand right next to your head. He gets close to your face, watching your eyes widen then dart down to look at somewhere on the bottom half of his face before meeting his eyes again. You bite your lip.
"Repeat that for me, sweetheart." Simon growls softly, and you give a sharp, little inhale.
"U-um. I'd rather... not." Your voice comes out breathy, and you place a hand on his chest as if to stabilize yourself.
"I wasn't asking." He doesn't give you a chance to breathe, leaning in closer, and your fingers dig a little into his pec, making his muscles flex under your touch. "I'll say again: repeat that for me."
With nowhere to run, pinned to a tree, you tremble against his body, breathing heavily and barely able to meet his eyes, licking your lips. It takes you a moment to build up the nerve to speak with Simon surrounding your senses.
"I um... I um-"
"Simon, Uncle Johnny said to come play with us!"
Instantly, he backs away from you and turns around to see your boy running over. Behind him, he hears you exhale a quiet, little, "Fuck..."
Fuck, indeed.
He turns his attention to the lad once he comes to a stop in front of him. "Is that what he said?"
"Uh-huh! He said we're giving him trouble, and it'll make it more fair so he's not the only one guarding."
Simon looks over to where Johnny stands with the football held casually to the side between his arm and waist. The man smirks knowingly, glancing between you and Simon before giving a cheeky wave. He glares back. "I'll show him trouble."
"What did you say, Simon?"
He looks back at your boy. "Nothing. I'll come play."
The lad's eyes brighten with a celebratory cheer, grabbing his wrist and leading the way to the field. Simon looks back to see you better composed, if a little disheveled, but smiling nonetheless at the two like they're the only ones who matter.
-
After cake and presents, the children return to playing football with the new football that Soap gave as a present for little Simon, along with your boy wearing a jersey from the Scot's favorite team. A petty move from Soap, in Simon's opinion, but he'll let him have this one. He'll get your boy cheering for Man United soon enough.
The adults hang back in their own pairs. Soap and his date finally getting a moment to themselves, nibbling on cake and talking about whatever it is they talk about at the picnic table, and you and Simon are back under the tree, keeping a respectable distance between each other.
"Kid seems happy," Simon idly notes, watching your boy laugh and play with the younger MacTavish's. "You did good."
"Me?" You glance at him. "You were the one to bring a tiny tribe to Simon's birthday. Look at him. That smile is because of you."
"That smile is because you're a good mum," Simon states in a way that leaves no room for questions. "You were the one who made today happen. You gave your lad the birthday he deserved. He'll remember this."
Like how Simon remembers his mum doing her best to give him and Tommy the birthdays they deserved, no matter how small the celebration was.
You're looking at him as if you can't quite believe he's real, a cute, astonished look adorning your face. He's tempted to make a comment about it until you give a quiet, amazed laugh, reaching for his hand to give it a grateful squeeze. You don't pull away, and he doesn't let go.
"Even so, Simon had a great seventh birthday, and a lot of it is because of you. You did more than you had to- more than his father ever did! Bastard didn't even send a happy birthday text, son of a bitch." You exhale a heavy, calming breath. "But never mind that... What I'm trying to say is thank you. You didn't have to do what you did, and ever since we met, you've been really good to him."
You shoot him a teasing look. "What's your secret? Have a hidden family out there or something?"
A darker part of Simon is tempted to laugh. You're kind of right, in a messed up way, but he doesn't hold it against you. He hums, contemplating. "I had a nephew."
"Had?" The information takes another second to process. "Oh! I mean..."
"Don't have to say anything." Simon stares out to where the kids are playing. He imagines another boy running among them. Both younger and older than the children out in the field. Taken too young with no opportunity to grow. To live. He squeezes your hand. "He reminds me of him. Joseph. Would have been a couple years older than your lad by now, but I think they would have gotten along."
"Think so?" You send him a soft smile, stepping closer to hug his arm. "Tell me more about him?"
Simon looks at you, the warmth of your body pressed against him, and it suddenly feels like there's no one else in the world. There's just you and him under this tree, with your boy's laughter ringing like bells in the air, and that's when it hits.
Settle down... He's finally starting to get it, Tommy.
-
soap's piano teacher is something i want to write out, but idk if i'll get to it
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gyuwoncheol · 1 year ago
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Sir, Please.
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Pair: Wonwoo x f.reader
Genre: Fluff, Smut. 18+ only (MDNI).
Summary: Wonwoo doesn’t mind keeping you at the edge if it means watching you fall apart.
Warnings: Dom!Wonwoo, Sir! kink, edging, cockwarming, unprotected sex (stay safe, children), squirting, clitoral stimulation, lots of making out, creampie, pussy slapping (like once), overstimulation, dacryphilia, breast play, wrist pinning, dirty talk, use of pet names (Sir, good girl, darling, love, baby, sweetie), glorious aftercare (Wonu is the best), fluff. Please let me know if i missed something. Not proofread, might come back to fix up errors.
WC: 3k
Author’s note: First smut piece for Wonwoo my love. This was only supposed to be post-sex cuddles fluff but thought it was the right time to finally write smut for my favorite boy. As is the plot of this piece, good things come to those who wait 😏 Enjoy!
Tagging fellow Wonu lovers @multi-kpop-fanfics @playmetheclassics for the chaos.
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“What’re you doing?” Your boyfriend quizzed, your bare body still on top of his, a cheek resting against his bare chest.
“Doodling,” you mumbled casually as your finger continued to draw lazy patterns on his side.
“Darling, it tickles.”
“I don’t see you flinching.”
“You’re on top of me. If I flinch, you might fall.” He stated matter-of-factly.
You craned your neck to look up at him, flashing a wide grin momentarily, “then suffer.”
You shook along with Wonwoo as he laughed at your reply, a strong arm secured tightly around your torso, while his free hand cradled the back of your head.
A large smile was permanently etched on Wonwoo’s face as you both laid in comfortable silence. When he had collapsed onto you just minutes ago after reaching his climax, he had asked so nicely if he could stay inside a little longer and who were you to complain? You’ve craved for this kind of intimacy with him for awhile now after being both so busy with work.
“You’re lucky i love you,” Wonwoo declared as he kissed the top of your head.
You hummed in response, trailing your fingers again on his side, nails lightly scratching on his skin, “did you just write ‘i love you too’ on my ribs?” He laughs, and you nod an affirmative.
You took a deep breath, closing your eyes and snuggling more into your boyfriend’s chest. Now would be a good time for time to stand still. The setting sun casted warm hues of light inside your bedroom and while the airconditioning was cold, Wonwoo was radiating just the right amount of heat to keep you from shivering.
“I’ve missed you,” you blurted out.
“I know, sweetheart. I’ve missed you too. I’ve missed this,” another kiss was placed on top of your head, “i’m sorry i’ve been so busy.”
“I’m sorry too,” you sighed, resting your chin on his pecs to face him. “I wish i had more time to visit you in practice, or even just see you for lunch.”
“That’s okay, darling. We’re both just in our busy season. It will be over soon, yeah?” This time, Wonwoo’s palm was rubbing circular motions on the small of your back. “I was thinking we should go on a vacation when this all boils over.”
Your eyes grew wide, excited at your boyfriend’s suggestion, “really?”
“Yeah, maybe the countryside? Or out of the country? Where do you want?”
A blush crept up your cheeks at Wonwoo’s gesture of letting you choose, but honestly, you could’ve just stayed at your home and it would be okay. The last time you had a vacation, he made you choose the place too but this time, you didn’t really have a shortlist of destinations. You craned your neck to kiss his lips shortly, “surprise me?” You smiled shyly, “maybe somewhere peaceful and with fresh air? Anywhere as long as it’s with you is all I want, darling.”
“Okay, i’ll plan it out.” He confirmed before rolling you both over so his body hovered above yours
“Where are you going?” You pouted when he made a move to slip out of you.
“I need to clean you up, sweetie.”
You hooked a leg around his waist in retaliation, not at all ready to feel empty just yet. You attempted the most doe eyes you could muster, looking up at your boyfriend through your lashes and clenching your pussy as you did so, “Don’t you wanna fuck me one more time?”
Wonwoo scoffed at your question, the corner of his lips pulling into a devious smile at your sweet tone, “can’t get enough, darling?” His voice was lower by a few octaves, enough to send a shiver through your spine and a gush of wetness in your cunt.
“N-no, sir.”
Wonwoo smirked at the nickname before doing an experimental thrust. When your eyes rolled to the back of your head, he simply chuckled before dragging his cock out slowly and then swiftly burying himself to the hilt, rendering you even more speechless than you were. He could feel the rhythmic spasming of your walls, causing him to grow harder and harder.
You cupped his face to bring it closer to yours, kissing him and sucking at his lower lip. Wonwoo smiles in the kiss, amused at your neediness especially when he feels you lift your hips and roll them on his.
“Eager are we?”
“Wonuuu,” you whined pathetically, clawing at his back.
“Wonu?” he questioned with a glare, pinning you to the mattress agressively, “that’s not what you called me minutes ago, darlin’”
“Well, I don’t know where he went. Maybe if you give me what I want then I’ll start calling you it again,” you smirked, dragging your nails a little more harshly on his skin making him hiss.
Wonwoo rolls his eyes, only to dive into your right breast and suck harshly at the bud, eliciting a loud moan from you. He snakes his hand in between you both, thumb finding your clit and rubbing it in circles, immediately feeling you clench around his dick again.He mutters something about you being responsive but it flies over your head as he picks up his pace. The slide is much easier given your mixed cum and your new arousal so it takes him record time to hit your sweet spot. Every ridge and vein on his cock drags against your walls in a way that’s more delicious than awhile ago.
“S-sir, pl-pleaasee,” you shake, the pit of your stomach tightening as you arch your back.
“Does my darling want to cum?” The nickname sounds sickly sweet as it rolls off his tongue and it only helps you get closer to the edge.
You nod your head repetitively, chants of ‘yes’s’ and ‘oh’s’ spilling from your lips, but then Wonwoo withdraws his hand from your sensitive bud and stills inside of you, a vice grip around your body as he licks the shell of your ear, “you don’t get to cum until I say so.” The words were loud, clear and firm, in a tone you knew all too well.
“But Won—“ you cry out loud, tears forming in your eyes as you feel your climax painfully float away.
“Nuh uh,” two harsh thrusts are delivered straight to your gspot as your boyfriend hooks one of your legs on his shoulder, “Call me wrong again and I will not let you cum at all.”
“Fuuuuck,” you mewl from the way his cock rams into you with the new angle, following it up with whines at the thought of getting no release, “S-sorry, sir! ‘M sorry!”
“There it is. Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Wonwoo mocks, “now be my good girl and hold it out for me, yeah?”
You’re a incoherent mess as you try to obey him, but it isn’t so easy when his large cock is abusing your sore, sloppy cunt. Words of filth pair each one of his powerful thrusts.
“My dirty little whore”
“So fuckin’ needy for my cock.”
“Can’t get enough of this pussy.”
“Your pussy is mine.”
“All made for me.”
You were letting out moans of pleasure as Wonwoo pounded into you mercilessly, the knot in your stomach making itself felt again.
“Fu– ah! Fuck, s-sir! Please!” You asked, but it only fell on deaf ears. Both your wrists were tightly pinned with just one of your boyfriend’s large hand above your head and his blown out pupils were looking right at you.
“Make me cum, make me cum, make me cum, please!!!” you begged shamelessly, voice shaking and legs closing in as you teetered on the edge of your orgasm.
“Not. Yet.” Wonwoo withdrew fully from your hole and you shrieked at the loss, your hips lifting to chase after his dick only to have it slammed down by his free hand.
“Sir!!!” You scowled, eyebrows scrunching and eyes wide, anger and pain washing away yet another failed orgasm.
A proud, lopsided smirk appeared on your boyfriend’s face. He licked his bottom lip, enjoying the torture he beset on you despite his painfully hard cock.
“What?”
It wasn’t a question. He wasn’t asking, you knew that much.
“Nothing,” you cowered and blinked back your tears, erasing the anger in your face much to your dismay.
“Good girl.”
You swallowed thickly, squirming once more when Wonwoo tapped his heavy length on your pussy, coating himself with your slippery wetness— not that he needed any more of it— before purposely slapping your swollen clit with his angry red tip. The stimulation from that alone already had your toes curling and it took every fibre of your being to not just unravel right there.
You should’ve known calling him ‘sir’ would lead to this, but behind the tearful denials, you knew immense pleasure awaits.
“Siirrr, p-please! I n-need it.”
“Shhh. Patience, darling. We’ve got lots of time.” The demonic chuckle Wonwoo let out had you whimpering pitifully, your hands fighting to break free from his hold.
It seemed your boyfriend was hell bent on prolonging your agony when he simply continues to endlessly tap his shaft on your clit as he pumps himself.
Wonwoo was not usually loud in bed, save for his occasional grunts and broken groans when he falls into bliss. However, he’s decided now would be the perfect time to make matters all the more worse for you. He was being loud about it all, no holds barred. The squelching noises of his dick against your wet lips is now easily drowned out by the guttural moans Wonwoo has let slip past his mouth. You thought his dirty talk is music? Well, this was a symphony.
You had thought you wouldn’t get close this time around since he wasn’t inside you but the relentless knocks on your clit and the obnoxiously loud moans of your boyfriend have proved you wrong. Your hands balled into fists and you squeezed your eyes shut, mentally fighting off the ball of pleasure in your lower abdomen.
“Look at you, fighting so hard,” Wonwoo snickers, pressing down the tip of his cock to your clit in slow circular motions, “show me how good you are yeah?”
“Yes yes yes! ‘M good! Your good girl, promise!” You were so far gone, pliant to each one of your boyfriend’s requests.
“So wet, you’re soiling the bed,” he points out the obvious, “what a fuckin’ mess.” Wonwoo saw another shiver run through you, indicating you were seconds away from release. So for the third time that day, he denies you of the very thing you crave for, letting go of your wrists and then landing a sharp smack to your pussy before completely backing away to watch you spasm and curl up into a ball of needy tears and pathetic whines.
Your head was spinning and your senses were more than heightened. The slippery feeling of your arousal between your thighs were making it harder for you to squeeze them shut and stay still. Wonwoo simply loomed over you, giving you enough time to stabilize your breathing and let your failed orgasm ebb away. He knew that if he’d put so much just as one finger on your skin, you’d cum right away. Contrary to his actions, he wanted you to cum, but that didn’t mean he wanted to see you cry for it first.
“S-sirr,” you sobbed.
A gentle touch carefully landed on your calf and when you didn’t flinch away, Wonwoo let out a sigh of relief, “Yes, baby?”
“Please,” your voice barely above a whisper, “n-need you…”
Whatever other words you had planned were swallowed by Wonwoo in a searing kiss. It was sloppy and messy, his skillful tongue darting to yours, teeth biting at your lips. You both moaned in unison when he impaled you on his cock once more.
“So big,” you groaned, initially amused at the delicious stretch until you realised, he’s had to hold off his own orgasm too.
Wonwoo gives it his all, jackhammering into you like it would be the last time. The sound of moans and skin slapping skin reverberate around the room. And then, there it is again, a coil so tight on your stomach, you fear you’re going delirious to the point of no return.
“Wo— Sir!” You quickly correct yourself, losing the least bit of dignity you had, tears drenching your cheeks, “i’m b-begging, p-please…”
The gentle kiss on your nose set a stark contrast from how his cock abused your sopping cunt, but relief finally took over you at the words whispered in your ear, “so good for me. Let go, baby. I got you.”
A strangled cry ripped out of your throat, your orgasm gloriously hitting you like a tidal wave. Wonwoo continued to talk you through it while holding down your convulsing body and slamming his hips into you, the sight of your pussy creaming his cock eventually producing broken moans from him.
“B-babe, too– ah! Too m-much!” More tears fell on your face as Wonwoo did deep snaps, his pelvic bone grinding on your clit.
“C’mon baby, m’ close. S-so close!”
Incomprehensible noises tumbled out of you when your boyfriend buried himself deep, pushing onto your sweetest spot and stilling there. Between his guttural groans, the perfect ‘O’ shape of his mouth and the thick loads of hot white cum that flooded your velvety walls, another coil snapped within you, a new round of arousal seeping out of your spent hole, except this time, much wetter and hitting you like a ton of bricks.
“Fuuuck, darling,” Wonwoo trembled as the last of his nectar oozed out, “did I just make you squirt?”
“Fuck off,” you scowled, wishing you had more energy to wipe the smug look plastered on your boyfriend’s face.
“So I did?” Wonwoo pursed his lips and scrunched his nose, a look you very much love but absolutely hate right now.
You let your bottom lip jut out in a pout, your brows drawing to the center of your face, “how could I not when you edged me like that!”
“You’re cute,” was his only response, very slowly slipping his softening cock out of you. Your sweet boyfriend peppered kisses all over your face, replacing your frown with a smile. “Did I make you feel good, darling?” He asked genuinely, not wanting to ever subject you to something which you didn’t enjoy doing.
You gave him a shy nod, pulling him closer by his neck to close the gap between your mouths and share a loving kiss, much like how it was way earlier. It didn’t take long for you to part, your lungs still recharging to full capacity after having all the air knocked out of you.
Wonwoo gave you more time to recover, resting his head on the crook of your neck to leave soft kisses on your skin, especially on the blooming bruises he left in his wake.
“Darling, you can’t sleep yet,” he shook you gently when he noticed your prolonged stillness.
A small whine escaped your lips, “but Woo… i’m tired.”
“I know, i know,” he hushed softly, “but we need to get you cleaned up and also, change the sheets. I’ll make it quick.”
You had no time nor energy to protest. You were simply being carried bridal style into the bathroom, your boyfriend making sure you peed before he went on to wash up yours and his sweaty body with warm water. He was so so tender with his touch, especially in all parts between your legs. He’d keep an observant eye to every reaction your face made, careful not to cause any pain.
“Can… can you be mine?” you squeaked, and Wonwoo giggled at the drunken look of love on your face. Every time you think nothing can top sex with your boyfriend in your own little list of World’s Most Wonderful Things, you’re reminded that aftercare by him exists.
“Darling, i’m already yours,” Wonwoo chuckles.
You noded with a grin, brain really starting to drift off into slumber, “I like that.”
He fixes his glasses by the bridge of his nose after giving you a once-over, now dressed in cotton panties and one of his large navy blue shirts which hung mid-thigh on you.
Wonwoo lifts you up to sit on the bathroom counter before cupping your cheeks to meet your eyes, “baby, can you sit here and wait for me for about 10 to 15 minutes, please? I need to change our sheets.”
He had expected you to whine and retaliate, knowing you were always extra clingy after sex, but you simply nodded and smiled. You think you felt his lips on your forehead but you aren’t too sure.
The moment Wonwoo slips out of the bathroom, you’re fighting not to fall asleep, but 15 minutes is long, and maybe you can just lean your head a bit on the cold marble tile—
“Let’s get you to bed, love,” the tall man chuckles as he lifts you in his arms. You swore it hadn’t been fifteen minutes, not even ten! But then he walks past your bed and out of your shared bedroom. The light of the hallway enough to stir your brain awake.
“Where are we going?” You ask, nuzzling your face on the crook of his neck as he cradles you into another room.
Wonwoo laughs at your question, “We have to take the guest bedroom for the night, darling. You’ve soaked through our mattress.”
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cookiescribble · 4 months ago
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Extracurricular
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A/N: this has been sitting in my drafts fully written for like a month, i’m so sorry 😅 but i know we all love the professor episode, so I had to write a little something about it 🫶🏻 - mod angel
Pairing: Professor!Reid x Wife!Reader
Summary: Spencer is confused about why so many students are auditing his class. As his wife, you decide to come and investigate.
~~~
You heard the apartment door open, glancing up to see Spencer drop his keys on the table by the door. 
You were reading on the couch, laying down and killing time before it was time for him to come home. You sat up, placing your bookmark on the page you last read before dropping your book on the coffee table. “Welcome home,” you smiled up at him. 
He flashed a little smile, but you could tell something was up. You moved to sit cross-legged, making room for him on the couch. “What’s wrong?” You asked, patting the spot next to you so he could sit. 
He plopped down on the couch, sighing, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. You leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned into you. 
“You looked so excited this morning,” you ran your fingers through his hair, something that had become routine when he came back from a tough case, or just needed some extra affection for any reason. “What happened?”
He sighed again, turning to look at you, resting his head back on the couch. “I don’t know, I was really excited to teach. I love sharing what I know with people.”
You nodded, fully aware of this. It was something you loved about him, always eager to teach you something new. It was annoying when other people did it, but not when Spencer did it. “Uh-huh. So what’s the problem?”
“I… I was eager to be an actual professor, hoping I could help people with their studies and their grades.” He looked a little frustrated. “But most people are only auditing the class. Only a handful aren’t.”
You nodded thoughtfully. “That’s not what you were expecting, huh?”
He shook his head. “I mean, I guess it’s good that people want to learn about this stuff? It’s just not how I pictured it.” He shrugged, running a hand through his hair. “At least they’re listening to me. And some of them are pretty enthusiastic about participating. There were a few girls who seemed really excited about this stuff.”
You looked at him, narrowing your eyes a bit, a little smile on your face. “Wait, so… these people are auditing your class. And girls are participating… you said they listen to you… do you think they’re paying a little too much attention to you?” You inquired, slightly amused.
He gave you a confused look. “What do you mean? I think it’s a normal amount of attention to pay to a class.” He shrugged. “I mean, I always felt like no one was paying enough attention when I was in college, so I was pleasantly surprised that people were actually participating, asking questions, some of them even stayed for a bit after the class let out because they wanted to know more.”
You couldn’t help but let out a little laugh. “Uh-huh… so, you got college students to not only stay awake, but alert and attentive… and they wanted to stay after class,” you spoke slowly, wondering if he would get the hint.
He nodded. “Yeah? Why?”
You gave him a pat on the shoulder, smiling and shaking your head. “Yeah, I know exactly why so many people are auditing your class.”
He still looked confused. Very oblivious. It was kind of adorable. “I don’t understand,” he replied, his brows furrowed.
You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, twirling a finger in his hair. “They must’ve heard that this class has a sexy professor.” You laugh softly, watching the cogs turn in his brain as he processed this.
He scrunched his nose a bit, shaking his head. “No, I don’t think that…” He stopped, his eyes darting around as he became deep in thought. Probably perfectly recalling everything from his class that day. “… You really think that’s it?”
You nodded, kissing his cheek. “It’s adorable you wouldn’t have even considered that if I didn’t say anything.” He was absentmindedly running his thumb over your hand that rested on his shoulder. “I mean, I don’t blame them. I’d definitely audit your class.” You took his hand and started twirling his wedding band around his ring finger. “Did you tell them you’re married?”
He started to blush a little at the attention you were giving him, and at the thought of other people wanting to give him attention. “I’m pretty sure I mentioned it at some point… I think someone asked about it-“ He cut himself off, looking at you again. “Okay, maybe you’re right.”
You laughed, draping your legs over his as you gave him a quick kiss on the lips, which he returned. “Maybe I should visit your class, see what all the fuss is about,” you winked at him.
He smiled, running his fingers through your hair. “I don’t know if I’d be able to concentrate with you there.” He leaned in to kiss your forehead. “But, I admit, it would be nice.”
The conversation eventually fizzled out, as you and Spencer naturally fell into your usual evening routine; mostly just sitting on the couch in each other’s arms, talking, watching TV, and eating dinner. 
You had an idea in your head the whole time, keeping it to yourself. You had a surprise planned out now. 
The next day, after Spencer left for his class, you quickly got dressed to head out, throwing on a sweater and modest skirt with some flats. Nothing too fancy, you wanted to fit in with the other students. 
You remembered him telling you the building his class was in, and you were able to slip in like you were supposed to be there. You found the classroom after wandering for a while, quite a few students already sat in the class. Of course; very eager, you thought
You thought about just sitting in the back to blend in with the background, but something possessed you to sit in the middle near the other girls in the class. Not really jealousy; you knew Spencer has never even given anyone else a second glance since you started dating. It was more like… pride. Perhaps a smug feeling. You may be infatuated, but that’s my husband.
You sat down near a group of girls, and they eyed you for a moment. You fidgeted, thinking they were going to start whispering bad things about you. Habit from when you were in school. 
Instead, one of the girls leaned over, speaking to you in a friendly tone. “Hey, are you new to this class?”
You probably should have just admitted that you weren’t actually a student, but part of you just wanted to see what would happen. “Yeah, this is my first time here.”
She leaned in to whisper, “Did you hear about the professor? Is that why you’re here?” She was giving you a genuine look, seemingly just curious. Or maybe happy to talk to someone about this. 
You feigned innocence. “No, I was just interested in the subject. Is there something special about him?” You reply in the same hushed tone as her.
She looked at the other girls around her, and they all giggled. One of the other girls responded. “He’s super hot. Didn’t you hear the rumors?”
You bit back a smile. It felt strange, having people talk about him like this. “No, I didn’t hear anything. Is that really true?” You tried to seem interested, without being conspicuous. 
All the girls nodded. You leaned in a bit to match their enthusiasm. 
“I wouldn’t get your hopes up,” one of the girls whispered. “He said he’s very happily married.” She all but rolled her eyes at that. 
A little smile appeared on your face, a warm feeling rushing over you. You put your hand under the table, hiding your wedding ring. “Really? Well… maybe I can have better luck with him.” You rested your chin in your other hand, smiling smugly. 
She scoffed, obviously not believing you. “Yeah, sure. He wouldn’t even look at any of us.” She shook her head. “If you want to believe it, go ahead. I’ll be waiting to say I told you so.”
You were cut off by the sound of a door opening and closing. Spencer stepped out in front of everyone, putting some papers down on his desk. The girls immediately stopped their conversation, sitting up straighter in their chairs and facing forwards. You covered your mouth to keep yourself from snickering. 
Spencer greeted the class, who echoed back his greeting. He started to introduce the material he was going to be talking about today, when his eyes settled on you. His expression softened. 
You gave him a little wink and a subtle wave. He looked like he was holding back a smile, looking away from you to concentrate on teaching. 
It was really a sight to behold, he had most of the class twirling their hair, wrapped around his finger without him even realizing. Not like you could blame the students; he was always able to make everything seem fun and exciting. It was something you loved about him. 
The class seemed to fly by. You were honestly glad you came; you could watch him talk for hours. You’re sure he would if you asked, and you were considering it after seeing this. 
When he dismissed the class, the girls started swarming him at his desk. You laughed and rolled your eyes, standing up slowly and hanging back a bit. 
You could see him politely answering questions, ignoring the girls sitting on his desk and quickly packing up his things. 
You walked closer to his desk, and he looked up and smiled. “Hey!” He called out to you, rushing over to wrap you up in a hug. You could feel the stares on you as you settled into his arms, and he kissed your forehead. “I didn’t know you were coming today!”
You smiled up at him. “I thought I’d surprise you.” You reached up to give him a quick peck on the lips, solidifying the jealous eyes that were glaring daggers at you. You couldn’t help it; you felt a pride building up inside you that you were the one he sought out while he was being crowded like this. “Surprise?”
He laughed, tucking you into his side, his arm around your waist. “Yeah, surprise.” He turned to everyone who was still lingering around you, their faces a mix of confusion and jealousy. “Everyone, this is my wife.”
You gave a small wave, everyone greeting you halfheartedly. You locked eyes with the girl who initially approached you earlier. She seemed more embarrassed than angry. 
Spencer gave you one last little hug. “I have a few things to finish up, I’ll meet you home later, okay?”
You nodded, giving him one last little parting kiss before he slung his bag over his shoulder and started to walk out of the classroom door. 
Everyone was looking at you again, and you felt a little embarrassed now that Spencer wasn’t there with you. You started to excuse yourself quietly, trying to get out the door quickly without bringing more attention to yourself. 
You heard someone catch the door after it almost closed behind you. “Hey,” they called out as they caught up to you. 
You turned to see the same girl again, and you had to suppress your instinct to run away. Instead, you just nodded at her, giving her your attention since that was obviously what she was asking for. 
“I, uh…” she started, her tone nervous. “What I said earlier, I wasn’t trying to say anything bad about you, I was just…” 
You gave a soft chuckle in response, shaking your head. “It’s alright. I get it.” You gave a little wave of dismissal. “I might’ve done the same if I was in your position.”
That seemed to ease her worries a bit. “Thanks for being cool about this.” She hugged the books she was carrying closer to her chest. She spoke a little softer. “Dr. Reid spoke very highly of you, you know. When we asked about his wedding ring.” She flinched a bit. “Which I guess was kind of a weird thing to ask…”
You smiled, shaking your head a bit. He had people asking about his wedding ring, and he didn’t even have a second thought about it. “It’s alright. He didn’t even think anything of it. He thought you were just really interested in the course material.”
She furrowed her brows. “Really?” She still looked confused when you nodded. “Huh. Well, I guess he really loves you if he doesn’t even notice people flirting with him.”
You shrugged. “No, he’s just a little clueless when it comes to this kind of thing. I had to really spell it out for him that I was interested in him when I asked him out on our first date.” You smiled warmly at the memory, reliving those early days of your relationship, so long ago now.
She let out a soft laugh. “That’s kinda funny, actually.” She stopped walking, looking like she had to start walking a different way. “So… no hard feelings?”
You turned towards her and shook your head. “No, not at all. Maybe try not to come onto him in the future, though.” You smiled slightly, your tone light and casual.
“Of course,” she laughed awkwardly. “Um. I have to go to class now, so…”
You nodded at her. “Go ahead. Hope you have a good day.”
She smiled. “You’re really cool. I see why he likes you. Most people would’ve been really angry if they were in this situation.”
“Well, I’m not insecure about our relationship.” You felt your phone buzz, and you took it out of your pocket to see a text from Spencer, making you smile. “And I don’t fault anyone for being attracted to him.”
“Cool,” she said, starting to step back a little more. “Um. It was nice meeting you.”
You gave her a little wave. “You too. Hope you enjoy the class; Spencer is really happy to be able to teach people, so I hope everyone is actually listening to him and not just staring at him.” 
She laughed lightly, her demeanor a little warmer now. “I’ll try to get the message out.” She waved and said goodbye before turning around and walking away. 
You finally looked at the text Spencer sent you: 
Hey, do you think you could pick up some dessert on your way home? I’m really craving something sweet. Maybe we could make brownies?
You smiled to yourself. Seeing all those people throwing themselves at Spencer really made you appreciate what you had with him. He had people gawking over him, but you were the one who got to go home with him and make dessert, and have all these sweet moments with him. You’d never get over just how lucky you were to be the one he chose to spend his life with. 
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